#protagonist best friend

[hitodama3]

Best Friend's Brother (Caleb-LaDS)

So this bare shadow of a plot bunny has been pawing at my brain all day...

Along with the song Best Friend's Brother.

I can never see myself as the protagonist in otome games, or really any dating sims so imagine...

Not protagonist x Caleb

You are the childhood best friend of the LaDS protagonist.

You two are thick as thieves, and she spends as much time at your house as she does her own.

So, of course, you're well acquainted with her older, adopted, brother Caleb, and as the years have passed you've gained a bit of a ... crush.

And of course, your BEST friend would notice your change in behavior. Becoming a little mooney, maybe doodling something in a notebook before hiding it away when you see her coming, or even staring a *little* too long at the boys during the down time at lunch. She pounces on you like a hyena demanding to know what's going on.

Eventually, you're unable to avoid it any longer, and the feeling like you're going to burst out of your skin. You blurt out rapid fire that you have a crush.

She is over the moon! Immediately wanting to know who. So she can start planning a strategy on how to get them to like you. At first you refuse to tell her, because; What if it ruins your friendship!?! This is your best friend's brother after all!

But, eventually, you can no longer hide your wandering eyes, or maybe she sees the scribbled out C in your notebook, and puts two and two together.

You have to cover her mouth; when she almost screams your feelings, for everyone to hear! Your eyes dart around her face concerned that this may ruin your friendship, but you have no way to know that this could be the best thing that's ever happened to your friend.

What friend hasn't wanted their best friend to *actually* be their sibling, and a part of their family? She honestly couldn't think why she hadn't tried to orchestrate this sooner! She'd be able to keep her brother AND best friend forever this way!

You struggle to contain her excitement, and to keep her from; at the earliest opportunity, march over to Caleb and demand you date.

She tries her best to give you as much insider information as she can; into what Caleb likes and dislikes, and tries to set up as many encounters and alone time as possible.

You'd be embarrassed about how blatant she was being if you didn't enjoy his company so much. His presence making you feel warm and happy, while also feeling like you'd throw up at any time.

You were going to confess.

After months of interactions both created and situational you knew you weren't going to get any closer to him.

So no matter how stereotypical it may seem you pick Valentine's day to confess. You go out and find the largest sunflower you could find, before asking Caleb to see you alone. Though you could see your friend hiding around the corner as a mildly awkward and supportive audience, and confess.

You watch the face you'd been studying for months and you see that easy smile shift into a hesitant tilt. The moment becoming awkward and heavy and you knew his answer long before a word left his mouth.

You told him it was okay and that you guessed he only saw you as his sister's friend, or even a second little sibling, but you were glad that you confessed your feeling to him if to give them a release so they might start draining out so you could move on.

When you start to see him relax that you wouldn't burst into tears or yell you tried to put on a smile pushing back the bile that wanted to rise up your throat, and looking a little above his head and refusing to blink to dry your eyes. You held out the sunflower and asked if he'd take the flower at least, and thank him for not making fun of your feelings.

You turn away and your friend peaks out seeing your face and frown pulls at hers as she darts out snagging you and pulling you away as fast as possible.

The was the last time you talked to Caleb for many years. You'd see glimpses of him just from being friends with his little sister, but he did you a service by trying to be our of the way when ever you were near. Probably to be considerate of your feelings though it stung regardless.

Thankfully over the years you were able to put your feelings to bed, but the peace didn't last long when in the future you get a call full of heart break and agony.

Caleb was dead.

You rushed to your friend's side and tried to be there through the nights of pure agony and pain. Trying to fill the gap of loneliness and grief as best you could. Sharing the loss of someone who had been a large part of both your childhoods.

But then... He was back.

Your friend demanded you meet her, and you were happy to see them. A lot had been going on in your friend's life as she juggled her work as an enforcer with four other men that seemed to be a big part of what was going on in your friend's life.

She waved you over to a seat at the cafe and you chatted happy to see each other and catching up on what had happened when your friend perked over waving someone else over to the table.

When you heard a familiar voice. The gentle and upbeat tone curling down your spine like a caress. You froze unmoving as if afraid that you might spoke the ghost that had come to haunt you before a heavy body dropped down in the chair next to you.

Caleb complained as he realized your friend hadn't told you he was alive, and your friend stating that she wanted it to be a surprise just like it was a surprise for her.

Slowly you turned your head fighting not to go slack jaw as your eyes collided with unfamiliar purple eyes in a vaguely familiar face.

He was familiar.

He seemed like a stranger.

He was beautiful.

He felt cold.

He teasingly greeted you eyes roaming your body and pausing appreciatively over parts of you.

It made warmth pool in your checks and stomach, as you shifted away as if trying to run from his gaze.

You tried to banter with your friend accusing her for surprising you with something this large when you felt a large hand wrap around your wrist giving an imperious tug to drag your attention back to him.

Eyes narrowed and a pasted on smile he tells you that his sister refused to give him the details on how you were doing saying it should come from you. What followed felt more like an interrogation than long lost friends getting to know each other again.

Your wrist stayed locked in his grip the entire time his some slowly rubbing circles on your pulse point. Fingers flexing when ever your friend would drag wild stories or shenanigans you hadn't gotten into during the time he had been... away.

Especially when she brings up your dating life. Your friend has thrown herself into her work in the wake of Caleb's death, and you had decided that you wouldn't stay in mourning for a relationship you never had and starting putting yourself out there.

Your friend took great pleasure and relaying some of your more disastrous dates to him. You could feel your embarrassment rise in the face of your first crush but snapped at your friend good naturedly.

You even started up on some of your fun dates and adventures happy to recount your newest relationship. You had met online and he seemed very nice taking you out to places you had shown interest in and doing group activities with you.

You had forgotten your wrist was in his grasp till you started wondering out loud if you might ask him to officially be your boyfriend when you yelped at the sudden pain in your wrist dragging your eyes over to Caleb's narrowed ones as his hand tightened around your capture wrist.

His fake smile widened now that your attention rested solely on him and he started to pick apart your new potential partner. Finding every little issue you've had and dragging it to the forefront on why he wasn't good enough. With every one of your protest his thumb would swipe over your wrist and he'd call you on any excuse you tried to spout.

When Caleb's phone digged he finally broke the staring contest you'd been under allowing you to finally feel as if you could breath deeply again, and you watched a real smile tug at his lips more a sneer than anything. He knocked his phone towards you so you could see the contents. Caleb snuggly showing every dirty secret on your potential love interest. Gladly showing off what a terrible man he was and his secrets he's been hiding, while simultaneously simpering to you that it was okay and bad men hide themselves well.

It truly wasn't more secrets then the average person had, maybe a few incidents in his youth then most, but when compiled together it truly was enough to shake you after the mental battering you'd been subjected to for at least the last hour, and after the shock of seeing a loved one return from the dead...

You were quite mentally pliable at the time.

You were staring in confusion at his phone not noticing as the siblings talked over your head with only their face expressions and some head tilts.

You wondered allowed what you were supposed to do you were supposed to have a date with this man tonight...

Still holding your wrist with one hand and carefully tilting your face up with the other Caleb directed your attention back to him. Telling you not to worry and he'd take care of it. Let him take care of you again just like old times.

After all you wanted to make his readjustment period after his return smooth didn't you? It has been quite rough his recovery after the accident.

You were confused before the hand on your face shifted becoming cold and metallic. You flinch away in shock watching Caleb lower his prosthetic to the table top and you were instantly fascinated and concerned.

Caleb easily held your attention explaining his circumstances and how it'd be easier to get used to his new apartment if you might come over and assist him?

Before you could turn and ask your friend she piped in stating how she had work and won't you PLEASE help Caleb put with this?

Between the sibling tag teaming you were no match and agreed to help Caleb out as much as needed. Handing over your phone so he could type in his number and address. While your head was bent to look over where he was staying you were unaware as your friend beamed so pretty at her brother.

She always wanted her best friend to be part of the family and Caleb ALWAYS gave her what she wanted, and he OWED her after this last stunt.

Caleb tilted his head in acknowledgement eyes towards you and his smile pulled becoming a bit more soft that was only present for two people in his life. He had only viewed you as a sibling all those years ago but now after his time away you had bloomed. He couldn't hide behind the thought of you as a sibling anymore. You were a beautiful individual and people were starting to take note.

His hand flexes around your wrist once more. Just short of causing you enough pain to look up again. He could see the beginnings of the bruise he'd leave on your skin form. He couldn't help but be pleased at the reminder that would be visible to all who were looking.

He wouldn't allow them to.

You were his.

He was your first love. Your puppy love. And he was sure he could reignite that spark. Especially considering the shy glances you had thrown around at the beginning.

Caleb smirked as he raised your hand to press the sunflower tattooed on your wrist with his supposed death date wrapped around it to his lips. Watching much like a hunting dog observing its prey as your face jerked up from your phone and flushing at the contact. Hand spasming as you attempted to drawn it away and color climbing towards your ears.

Yes, this new assignment would not be a problem at all.

[potato-lord-but-not]

put the podcast guys’ boyfriends (and non corporeal besties) in a room together to trauma bond

[mafuwara]

I finished Metaphor in a week, I'm replaying it now, and I just love these two idiots so much, I had to draw them <3

[gwensy]

american girl doll is such a phenomenon for me as an european, why are these childrens dolls having anti war storylines

from an outsider standpoint american girl is probably like insane im only now realizing. here's my cutesy dress up doll who you can take to the store to have tea parties with and get their hair done and their ears pierced. her name is nellie and she is experiencing 1904 child labor

[aipurjopa]

best friend of the protagonist!!!

[daemonfish]

If you wanted some now or for the next time you want sketch ideas, how do you think/would want a Soriku kh4 reunion to go?

I would like to see them fight

then kiss and make up

[boytearscore]

why can’t i hate you?— matt sturniolo & chris sturniolo.

summary: being best friends with chris and nick meant the world to you, it also meant you had to deal with their brother’s hate, rudeness, eye rolls, mean comments and coldness all the time. but that didn’t bother you, in fact, it was actually always a pleasure to annoy the shit out of him constantly.

warnings: swearing, enemies to lovers, best friends to lovers, love triangle (not threesome), toxic behavior, angst, comedy, possible smut and of course, strong female lead.

author’s notes: it’s a love triangle? yes, but it also has enemies to lovers and lots of nick being a sassy king, so give it a chance, yeah? anyway, for now, just releasing the first chapter and if you guys enjoy it, i’ll keep writing. that’s it, girls! have fun. :)

tag list: @sleepysturniolo (the first person to join my tag list, i’ll always be grateful to you. <3)

chapter one.

the fact that you didn’t get along with matthew was not just a rumor around his fans, it was indeed the truth. you both never talked, not even on videos you’ve participated in with him and his brothers, which are the closest people to you ever since you moved to LA, so avoiding him was impossible as all you did besides working was hangout with them.

that night, chris and nick invited you for a sleepover, since you were away for two weeks and both of them missed you a lot. it started smoothly, you guys had snacks, junk food and soda. all three just chatting and laughing, matt didn’t leave his room the whole time, which you weren’t complaining, but right after you laugh out loud about something stupid nick said, matt comes out of his room and sees you there, laying on the couch, he groans and goes back to his room, slamming the door.

“there he goes.” you roll your eyes shoving another chip in your mouth and sighing. “seriously, what’s his problem?” you ask chris and nick with a serious look, nick just gives you a small shrug as he takes a sip of his soda.

“going through puberty again at the age of 21? i dont know, dude.”

“whatever.” you murmur, not wanting to talk much about that asshole. he was so hard to read and hated you since day one with no plausible reason. so you started hating him back, simple as that, just mirroring the hatred he gave to you.

chris just shrugs as well and place a leg over yours, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you closer. “ignore him, he’s always like that.”

“getting touchy, are we?” you joke, laying your head on chris’s shoulders and trying to change the subject as soon as possible. he just chuckled, blushing a tiny bit. the poor boy quickly tries to hide it by covering his face with his hands and laughing.

nick rolled his eyes at his brother’s blushed face, he was used to see you both being physically close but he couldn’t keep his comments for himself. he’s always saying you’re clingy with people you loved and that chris was even worse than you.

“get a room, you two.“ he grabs his phone and starts playing a game. “and chris, you should stop. it’s getting embarrassing for you, just tell her you crush hard.”

“oh…” you smirk at the boy hugging you and poke him on the nose. “is that so?”

chris’s cheeks were now tinted with rosy pink, he was even more embarrassed because he’d rather die than face his own feelings for you. nick just started laughing loudly, still focused on his phone.

“can you guys keep it down?” you hear a yell from matthew’s room, making you stare at chris and nick, they both had the same expression as you and after two seconds trying to hold a laugh, all three of you just lost it.

“he’s going through puberty and acting like a 60 years old at the same time, like dude, just pick a struggle.” nick whispers, you guys laugh even harder and the door suddenly cracks open, matthew was poking his head out of his doorway looking at you, he seemed pretty pissed off but instead of making you feel uncomfortable, you actually had the urge to bother him more.

“hey, guys! c’mon, have some compassion, little matthew here is not used to human interactions, this is probably scary for him.” you can’t help but tease, it’s been always like this. you couldn’t hold your tongue when it comes to annoying matt, knowing damn well he hates your guts.

nick started to howl with laughter, his whole body reacted which makes him fall off the couch, he was always so dramatic. you and chris widen your eyes, but not for the same reason. what made yours almost pop out of your face was the loud noise of a door closing and heavy steps getting closer. matthew just stomped out of his room, right up to you, his eyes darkened with rage, his face all flushed from anger, and it didn’t help he decided to stand incredibly close, towering you.

okay, that was unusual. he never really engaged your mocking tone besides some comebacks which usually lead to more teasing until eventually he just starts ignoring you. but now he’s standing right there, as a matter of fact, almost inches away, this is probably your first time staring at him up close, even being able to smell his perfume.

something inside you wants to run away, you don’t know what to do with your heartbeats racing, but of course, you could never let him notice. so you stare right back at him, crossing your arms. “that’s the closest you’ve been to a girl, isn’t it?” nick place a hand over his mouth trying to hide a really loud laugh from your comment, still on the floor for some reason.

matthew’s face somehow got even redder from your comeback and chris now sits up straight, watching carefully the two of you.

“yeah, no girls would ever come near me, right?” he said it in a sarcastic tone as he leans a bit more into your face, trying to intimidate you, but it wasn’t working at all. you weren’t the type to feel threatened by men, by anyone, actually.

“unless they need a loser to friendzone.” well, that was a little mean, even for you. but to be fair, you didn’t know how to handle the new emotion of being face to face with him. it wasn’t exactly scary, but definitely a new kind of interaction, so the thoughts were sort of going all places, despite that, you stayed collected and not raised your voice once, matthew on the other hand, wasn’t even trying to hide anything, you could see a small twitch in his face and his lips trembling. he was definitely acting by impulse, which you weren’t sure of but his next move just confirmed that.

he leaned in even closer, still towering over your seated figure making you smile ironically. not so hard to read from up close, huh?

“what did you say to me?”

nick was still laughing, not being able to even breathe properly while chris just watches you and matt, getting a bit nervous. he ponders if he should interfere, things never got this far before.

“i’m not repeating myself.” because your faces were so close, you could see every little reaction, the way his blue eyes were telling you so many things at the same time, every sparkle of anger shooting fire at you, even his body language slowly changing. that made you smile even more, noticing a little part of you enjoying it way too much.

you words affected him again, it looks like he was determined to shut your mouth by invading your personal space, so he once again, leaned even closer nearly brushing the tip of his nose against yours.

“i’ve had enough of your sassy ass comments.” his warm breath hits your face, making you shiver. your arms still crossed across your chest and unbothered expression painting your face.

“then why don’t you back off and go to your room? it’s what you usually do, isn't it? run away when you don’t know what to say.”

he clenched his jaw tightly, as his hands ball up into tight fists, you could see veins starting to pop up, as he was getting more pissed. but he doesn’t back off, in fact, he starts to lean in a bit closer, the space between you two starting to shrink little by little every second.

“oh please, i’d much rather talk to you.”

nick immediately stops laughing as he gets up from the floor, almost as if he wanted to say something. chris raises an eyebrow, he was about to put a stop on that situation.

“trust me.” you smirk, he was challenging you, it was also pretty fun to see matt get so worked up over a few tease words, yet for a second, you thought about letting it go, take a step back and not make the atmosphere awkward for nick and chris. but the tension was… stirring. the idea of getting this type of reaction from him without doing much was actually weirdly good. so you allow your demons to control your actions, loosening one of your crossed arms and bringing a hand to his chin, gently turning his head slightly to the side, just enough to reach your lips to his ear.

“i know you love talking to me.” from the moment you spoke into his ear, a shiver ran down his spine making him subconsciously close his eyes, letting out a small exhale from the feeling of your breath on his ear.

nick’s eyes are wide, he can’t believe this was actually happening in front of him. chris just bite his lips trying hard to control himself. the room is quiet, matthew swallows hard, as he slowly open his eyes, looking down at you. he wanted to say something, he really did, but words failed him. his face was now really hot both from anger and fluster, the warmth of your hand holding his chin, your voice, your breath on his skin, the words you whispered into his ear, which had echoed through his mind. it was all he could focus on, nothing else mattered right now and to make things worse, this was entirely his doing, so he couldn't blame you or anyone else.

chris notices the look on his brother's face and he had to admit, it was a bit unsettling to see matthew so flustered over you.

nick was smirking, though. he knew about the tension between you two a long time ago and although it was expected that matthew would react one day, never in a million years he thought that it’d actually go like this.

everyone is still in complete silence, the only thing you could hear was the sound of matt’s shaky breath. he slowly looked over the couch, noticing that chris and nick were both watching everything, then he looked back down at you, having a sudden epiphany. he never really saw your face from that distance, deep down he thought you were pretty, but this was his first time actually being able to see the colour of your eyes properly, your nose and of course... he drift his eyes down to your lips, they were seductive and very… tempting?

a very dangerous thought crosses his mind and before he could resist, he moved closer, the small space between you both quickly closing in.

holy shit. you think to yourself, holding in your breath. was matthew really doing it? was he… about to kiss you?

for the first time ever nervousness hits you, but there’s not even a chance you would lose this match, so you don’t move an inch and stare right back at his lips, hand still placed on his chin.

“what the fuck?!”

both chris and nick finally yell, they didn’t know if they should laugh or freak out, more like nick laughing his ass off and chris freaking out, but that’s not the point, this situation was rather ridiculous, you two never set a foot close, not even greeting politely every time you hangout at their house or when they force matthew to drive you three around, as he’s the only one with a license and paying an uber was too bothersome. anyway, there was never an interaction besides bickering. but suddenly, you were both having an argument filled with sexual tension and now matthew is about to kiss you? that was too much for them to handle, for all of you to handle, actually.

matt is not listening to anyone, he ignores his brothers yelling, his eyes were only on you as he was about to do something he’s never thought about doing before. he wanted to kiss you? no. he shouldn’t. he despised you for a lot of reasons, but suddenly, in this moment, it’s almost like he couldn’t remember a single one. his eyes dart between your eyes, and lips, both getting closer by the second, just as his lips are about to brush against yours, he freezes, realizing what he’s doing. the boy takes a small step back from you, his whole face going red and this time not from anger. he glances at his brothers shocked faces and curses at himself, it felt like he lost control for the first time and he hated it.

matt never loses his cool because of your stupid teasing tone, but what is this now? you got the best of him and his first instinct is to kiss you? that was too much for him to process, so he abruptly goes back to his room and shuts his door locking it as if that was going to block the thoughts of you in his head.

“well… that was new.” you say, still confused with the whole situation that just happened, but you weren’t the only one. his brothers were speechless, they were not expecting that at all. like said before, nick did expected a reaction, but definitely not that type of reaction.

both of them had bugged eyes and their mouths partly open in shock from what they just witnessed, still staring at the ghost of matthew in front of your face. after a minute, nick finally breaks the silence.

“am i tripping or he was about to kiss you?”

he asks, mouth still open in a dramatic way.

“yep, he was definitely about to kiss her.” chris replies, his tone is quiet but he seemed a bit annoyed.

“so i wasn’t hallucinating, right?” you ask, still trying to control your heart. the sensation of his breath against your face and his perfume still all over you not helping. “did i tease him too much?” you ask them, even though it was rhetorical. “like, to the point where i broke him and he just… lost it?” nick laughs from your question, shaking his head.

“more like teased him so much he wanted to pin you against the nearest wall and—“

“nick!” you and chris yell at the same time.

“what? i’m just being honest!”

you shake your head with the thought of what nick just said, this was matthew you were talking about, the guy that hated you since day one for no reason, the one who says mean things out of nowhere and gives you dirty looks randomly. oh, let’s not forget about the day he said on a podcast he would rather die when the host asked him jokingly if he was secretly into you.

“you’re being crazy.” you finally reply, trying hard to deny whatever you are feeling and nick laughs again, then rolls his eyes a bit.

“please, i saw the look on his face when he was close to you, no one can’t deny it. the amount of time you both spend teasing each other, not to mention the childish fights ever since you two met clearly did something to his brain. i’m pretty sure he secretly got a thing for you.”

chris was quiet, he had a lot in his mind.

“yeah, it’s called hate.” you say giving the same eye roll back to nick and he just laughs again. this whole time he was just laughing, having the best day of his life.

“have you been reading those gays enemies to lovers books again?” you tilt a brow, hoping he couldn’t notice the way you were trying to drop the matter. “seriously, that’s not how it works in real life, nick.”

the boy rolls his eyes and scoffs. “pfft, you’re funny. i didn’t even know what that meant before we made those fanfic reaction videos. i would never read something like that for real.”

“you’re telling me if i go through your kindle right now i won’t find a single book about it?” you pretend to get up, smirking and nick’s eyes widen slightly as he swallows hard.

“oh, you wouldn’t dare!”

chris bursts out laughing and throws his head back, feeling better about how things went back to normal so fast, he wanted to forget the earlier event as soon as possible.

“where is it?” you actually get up now, looking around the living room and trying to hide your laugh. nick immediately stares at his kindle sitting on the table in front of the couch and he tries to grab it before you could get to it, but you were faster.

“absolutely not!” he yells, thanking his genes he was stronger and taller than you or things would about to get really embarrassing for him.

“that’s what i thought.” you say with a mocking tone, enjoying the satisfaction of watching nick panicking. chris almost in tears at this point while nick groans and sighs in annoyance, realizing he just exposed himself by acting so defensive.

he just sits back down on the couch, mumbling stuff to himself and hiding the kindle underneath his shirt. chris finally stops laughing and catches his breath meanwhile you make your way back to the couch, catching a glimpse of a portrait hanging on the wall, it was all the three of them smiling and hugging each other dearly. you stare at matthew, noticing how his smile was peaceful. you don’t even think you ever saw him smiling before, not around you, at least.

and then the flashbacks of what just happened minutes ago washes all over your head, making you bite your lips to control any further body reactions. you consider the possibility of going home and cool off. but your best friends are way too smart to be fooled by a shitty excuse, plus it’s been a while since you guys had a sleepover, so you brush the thoughts off and throw yourself on the couch again, grabbing your phone. chris and nick noticed you staring before sitting again, nick look over at the portrait, knowing you were probably thinking about their brother and chris just takes a sip of his pepsi, lost in his own world while nick debated if he should speak or not about that.

“he hasn’t always been like this, you know…” he begins talking with hesitation, he didn’t know if that was the right thing, but it’s about time for you to know the truth.

“sure.” you reply not believing him at all and he just laughed, deciding that he should tell you more.

“your sarcasm is so funny.” he says ironically and then continues talking still staring at the portrait. “believe it or not, he used to smile a lot as a kid. he actually had friends and got along with almost everyone.”

fuck. you always tried your best to change subjects everytime the conversation was about matt, and you usually succeeded but nick was pretty motivated to talk about it this time, maybe trying to help you understand his brother? honestly, if none of that has happened today, you’d probably just make stupid comments about it until nick gives up. but you were curious. the idea of a non grumpy matt was definitely interesting to say at least. you tried to imagine him smiling at other people besides his brothers, having friends and getting along everyone, it seemed unreal. but then again, you never really noticed him before. he could be a fucking clown if he wanted to, you wouldn’t know because you tried your best to avoid contact with the guy all the time.

“really?” you ask, half pretending not to be interested, half not being able to hide your shocked expression. “i thought he was born that way.” you can’t help but joke, that’s your way of coping with uncomfortable situations. “so what happened?” you ask before you could stop yourself, nick sighs and looks at you.

“i guess it started back in middle school. even though he was a quiet kid, most of our classmates liked him. but middle schoolers are fucking mean, you know? some boys would constantly make fun of him because chris and i were extroverts and he wasn’t. we tried our best to protect him, it worked for a while… but then we got to high school, some of our classes were different and one day at lunch break, we couldn’t find him anywhere, we didn’t think too much of it, assuming that he just went home earlier. that was a huge mistake because we always tell each other everything, we shouldn’t have assumed… i shouldn’t have…” he closes his eyes for a second, his voice was tremulous and your face softened, feeling empathy and a little sad. you could tell he blamed himself a lot. “but when chris and i got home, he wasn’t there. we called him multiple times through the rest of the day and by the time it was dark, our parents were about calling the police when he got home with bruises all over his face and swallowed red eyes. we asked him what happened and he just told us to drop it, not wanting to make things worse, we sort of just… let it go.” nick pauses to swallow the knot inside his throat and finally finishes the story he never told anyone about. “after that day he just shut down. he’s still the same around me and chris, but got cold towards other people.”

nick lets out a sigh, you could tell chris didn’t want to talk about it and how nick just stared at a random corner of the living room, probably thinking about matthew. for a while, you get lost in thoughts, debating if you should say something nice or try to light the mood by your typical stupid jokes. and then… you thought about matt, he definitely went through some bad things, which makes you feel guilty for all the teasing, but again, that doesn’t excuse his behaviour and how he treats other people, including you.

“i see…” you finally break the silence. “i guess he’s a bitch with a backstory, huh?”

both chris and nick burst out laughing at your joke, thanking you mentally for not making the sleepover some kind of lame sob parlour.

“he’d kill you if he heard you saying that.” nick says laughing and chris nods his head agreeing, nick continues. “he’d probably haunt you down, kill you, then bury you somewhere in our backyard and pee all over your grave.”

you three laugh loudly, making your tummies hurt.

“oh no, i think i’m done interacting with him today.” your blurt it out without thinking, nick wasn’t stupid, it only took a few seconds before he noticed the way you worded what you said, a small smirk appears on his face.

“so you’re saying you didn’t enjoy him being so close to you like that earlier?”

chris looks back and forth between you and nick, listening to every word and trying to catch any reaction of your face that indicates you actually liked it.

“i’ll ask you a better question.” you reply, trying to avoid answering it by joking around, like always. “one: why didn’t you let me go through your kindle, two: is it enemies to lovers AND smut? be honest.”

nick turns bright red, the question caught him off guard and made chris almost choke on his own soda in disbelief. nick glares back at you, his face still red as he tries to deny it, but then he groans and just gives up.

“fine, i’ll tell you! but no a single soul out of this room can hear about this, alright?” he says quietly, almost as if other people were listening. “can’t let my reputation of being an unbothered gay king be ruined.”

you sigh out of relief, it worked. nick was such a yapper that changing subjects without him noticing was really easy because he was always ready to run his mouth. chris, however, had a hint and noticed your behaviour changing ever since the incident with matt. he wanted to say something, but it wasn’t his place. in fact, he didn’t say a word after what happened. you also noticed he was weirdly quiet, but too much was in your head already.

“what reputation?” you ask to hit a nerve and laughs when he dramatically open his mouth, placing a hand to his chest.

“are you trying to say i’m not a bad bitch?”

chris just bursts out laughing, enjoying watching you tease nick and his dramatic ass reactions.

“not using this exact words, but yes.” you reply, smirk growing in the corner of your lips. the tension of your body was fading away and that made you relax a little. nick’s mouth got even more wide open, he grabs a random pillow from the couch and throws it at you.

“you take that back right now!!” chris laughs even harder at the scene unfolding in front of him, he’s enjoying it too much.

“never!” you laugh out loud, throwing the pillow back at him. “you can’t handle the truth!!!” you try to do an impression of jessup from the movie a few good men, but fails really hard because your voice couldn’t reach the low and strong tone. nick shakes his head cringing painfully and laughing at the terrible impression.

“never do that again!!!” he yells. “that was so bad, actually painful to listen to, a fucking insult to nicholson.”

“shut up.” you rolls your eyes and suddenly they feel really heavy, you can’t help but yawn making nick raise a brow.

“you tired already? you are such an old person, it’s like 10pm and you’re just dying there.”

chris nods his head, agreeing with nick’s words and laughing at your offended facial expression. he secretly wanted you to say with him a little longer. well, with nick as well, of course.

“i need my beauty sleep, bro.” you say, trying to defend yourself knowing deep inside you were in fact like an old person. “if any of you play pranks on me tonight…” you pause and try to do your best scary face. “i’ll expose your deepest secrets to the internet. especially yours, nicolas.”

nick jokingly holds his hands up in surrender, still laughing and chris follows him.

“chill, baby girl! we won’t do anything.” he always called you baby girl ironically to make you cringe on purpose, it always works.

“alright, ladies… i’m going to bed.” you yawn again and head to the guest room were you usually sleep.

nick just rolls his eyes, waving at you. “yeah, whatever. go get your beauty sleep, it’s not gonna work anyways. we’ll be here, definitely not plotting a prank to play on you.”

chris just laughs and murmur a good night to you with his usual sweet smile.

as you enter the room and close the door behind you, reality hits your face like a punch. so, you teased matthew, he teased back as usual, however he also got confrontational, like… physically, which never happened before, and then you teased him more, leading him to almost… it’s even harder to say or come to terms with it.

you throw yourself on the bed, puffing and closing your eyes. the worst part is that you didn’t know what you were feeling. excitement? anger? the need to just shut him up? compassion for what nick told you minutes ago? maybe… desire? no! that’s unlikely.

after a few minutes of fighting your thoughts, you fall asleep hugging a pillow just like you always do when feeling any sort of emotional discomfort.

nick and chris continued to sit on the couch in the living room, watching something on tv and chatting for a while, they tried to avoid the topic of you and matt because nick knew chris had a thing for you and that would just make things awkward. after a while, they started to yawn and both decided it was time to head to bed as well. nick was the first one to get up.

“don’t even think about going to the bathroom right now, it’s my time, good night.” chris nods rolling his eyes, also getting up off the couch, he wasn’t going to the bathroom anyways.

“alright, good night.” nick heads to the bathroom and chris stretches, letting out a small yawn before walking towards the guest room you were staying in, he slowly opens the door, peeking his head in to see if you were asleep. he notices you’re knocked out, holding a pillow tightly in your arms and that makes him smile, but then he notices the look on your face, he knew you for long enough to know when you’re having nightmares. chris slowly walks over, sitting on the edge of the bed, staring down at you. a small frown appears on his face as he wonders what exactly you were having nightmares about to make you look like that. he reaches his hand out carefully and gently moves a strand of hair from your face, his frown slowly going away as he looks at you. the boy gently pats your cheek, his mind conflicted, debating whether to wake you up or not. he hesitates for a moment, and then decides against it, he didn’t want to disturb your sleep. however, he doesn’t move his hand off your cheek, he just keeps his hand there, gently caressing your soft and warm skin as he continues to stare at you, wondering for a second if this is about his brother.

he notice you starting to relax a bit, the look of pain vanishing away. he can’t help but cogitate the possibility of his presence helping you relax, that makes him stay by your side a little longer, he continues to gently pat your cheek, comforting you in a way.

chris is lost in his thoughts, completely focused on you, ignoring the fact that he’s sitting way too close. he can’t take his eyes off your face, watching how peaceful you look now as he continues to pat your cheek. he subconsciously moves a bit closer.

“what the fuck are you doing?” if silent scream wasn’t a thing, matthew definitely invented it. he’s right at the door, looking intensely at his brother and trying his best not to push him away from you, that definitely scared chris, he never saw that look on his bothers’s face before, a bitter, jealous and pure hatred look.

he gets up and gulps, his cheeks were burning and he was embarrassed, not to mention the last person he he wanted talk to was right in front of him.

“she was having a bad dream, i was just trying to help by giving her some cheek pats and…” he suddenly stops talking, the fear fading away and being replaced by confusion. “why do you care?” he asks in a whisper, his eyebrows frowned and arms crossed.

matthew’s gaze remains fixed on you, and he can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy and irritation as he sees you asleep so peacefully, having no idea what just happened but imagining all sorts of things.

“why don’t you care?” matthew suddenly snaps his head back at chris, his eyes narrowing. “you were sitting there like a creep, staring at her sleeping. what were you going to do?”

“nothing!” he snaps back, he would never try to do things with anyone without consent, that’s disgusting and against every single thing he believed in. the fact that matt would actually accuse him was insulting, so he couldn’t stop himself by adding. “you’re the one to talk, she got weird the rest of the night after you left. i knew something was up so i came to check on her and she was hugging her pillow, she always do that when something is bothering her. but you don’t care, do you?”

matthew clenches his jaw, his eyes darkening as he listens to chris speak. he knew that accusing his own brother was low blow, he also knew you were indeed feeling something because it’s not the first time he caught you holding a pillow like that. he didn’t want to admit that he pays attention to your habits, or that chris was right.

“and what exactly is bothering her?” a hint of anger mixed with jealousy and concern in his voice.

chris laughs in a sarcastic tone, rolling his eyes. “i don’t know, maybe she’s bothered because you hated her from the very first moment you’ve met and suddenly you wanted to kiss her?” at this point, he decided to leave the room, not waiting to wake you up with their stupid argument. he closes the door behind him and stares at matthew. “what’s not clicking, dude?”

matt stares a chris, his jealousy and anger still there but he can’t deny that his brother was right. he knew deep down that his behavior towards you was wrong, and that him almost trying to kiss you was a terrible move.

“i don’t hate her, i just…” matt’s voice trails off, he wanted to make excuses but he knew it was pointless.

“i dont care.” chris cuts him off, finally ready to say what he wanted to say for a long time. “just stop acting like a teenager and get your shit together. if you truly hate her, leave her alone. and if for some weird reason you like her…” he pauses, before saying his lasts words. “get in line, you’re not the only one.” before matt could answer, he walks off going to his room.

the boy stands there in silence, stunned by chris’s words. he can’t deny that he felt some sort of anger when he saw chris sitting so close to you, or that the reason why the whole situation started was because he was listening to your conversation the whole time, he usually didn’t snoop around about shit you and his brothers talk when you’re over at their place. but then it got annoying when nick turned the topic towards chris having a thing for you and the thought of his brother becoming more than a friend to you made matt’s blood boil, that’s why he couldn’t stop himself from yelling at you guys to keep things down and that’s why the whole situation happened.

for unknown reasons, you were taking away all his self control little by little since day one and that was the reason he hated you the most.

because he couldn’t actually hate you.

matt watches his brother entering the room, can’t bring himself to say anything, the mixture of jealousy, anger and regret leaving him speechless until he finally mutters something to himself, clenching his fists.

“bullshit.”

[childofthestone]

rook and solas...narrative foils? rook? a narrative foil? to SOLAS? rook? to solas? ROOK? ROOK????

[greenapplebling]

Someone said "if you can't do gay shit with your friends, are they really your friends?"

And I couldn't agree more

[aroandawkward]

I can't stop thinking about Isaac Henderson in Heartstopper, and the inherent isolation of being an aroace person in a romance story. Because, at the end of the day, that's what Heartstopper is - it's about the romance between Nick and Charlie. Even when the narrative has expanded outwards to focus on other characters, their plotlines are primarily about romance: Elle and Tao, Darcy and Tara… It's true that Isaac has a loving friend group and the show doesn't devalue platonic love in the way that many romance stories do. But nevertheless, as an aroace person, Isaac is at odds with the genre of the story in which he lives. The tropes that shows like this are built around don't work for him.

Something that really hammers this home is how the scene when Isaac and James kiss mirrors Charlie and Nick's first kiss. In both scenes, two boys are sitting on the floor away from the main action of a party, one admits to having a crush, the other nervously wants to know whether it's them, and then they kiss. In his version of that scene with James, Isaac is experiencing a moment that - for another character - could be a beautiful moment in a romantic storyline.

For viewers who weren't aware of Alice Oseman's promise of an aroace storyline for Isaac, his interactions with James in the early episodes of Season 2 could easily have been interpreted as the beginning of a romantic love story. The rest of the main Heartstopper group have certainly been viewing his friendship with James through that lens, as shown by the way they tease him about it. But those plot beats of a romantic story don't work for Isaac. Trying to fit into the romance genre pushes Isaac in a direction that feels wrong for him. He is the one person in his primary friend group who can't make himself at home in a romance story.

I don't mean this as a criticism of the show. There is a lot of value to love stories like Heartstopper and there is a lot of value to having aspec representation in a show like Heartstopper. But I think this is the reason why Isaac's plotline felt particularly heartwrenching for me. Sometimes being aroace does feel like being out of step with the genre of story everyone else around you is living. Sometimes it feels like trying to find a place for yourself in a narrative that wasn't built for you. Sometimes it feels like trying to prove to yourself (and the world) that you can still have moments that feel like swirling leaves.

[lloydfrontera]

the way lloyd will mourn being single and complain about how unfair life is by making some guys extremely handsome. all while being followed around by literally the hottest guy in the world who's hopelessly devoted to him and who has already planned on spending the rest of his life at his side. like. ok. fuck me i guess

[pigin-is-so-rad]

Lera my beloved I love this game everyone has to go play it this instant to understand why I love my sad Russian rat girl

[emberz7]

fell asleep in class again 🍇

[yuukei-yikes]

Dude my irl friends were joking abt having a secret group chat with an evil version of me who likes pagerou kroject. none of them know kagepro they just know it by name and make sick jokes like these

[gayofthefae]

Someone on tiktok pointed out that Will is wearing a gap shirt and he's never worn gap shirts but Mike does all the time so it could be Mike's. Byler roommates truther.

[kottaniq]

I'm gonna leave this here as if I didn't pass my entire April completely fixated at this guy. 🫡