#promise at some point i will figure out how to stfu and go away

[lemony-snickers]

listening to two folks in this waiting room hear their insurance isn’t accepted/what they are here for isn’t covered and then being told, “there’s no copay so you’re all set” is making me feel extremely grateful but simultaneously very angry.

[songmingisthighs]

Hooked

introduction pt. i | pt. ii | pt. iii

ch. lxii - curiosity killed the cat

<< previous | masterlist | next >>

??? × reader, ateez × reader

A freshman hookup rekindled into something new. With an incentive, of course. But what would happen if your 'relationship' led you somewhere you never thought would happen to you ?

The three remaining boys, Hongjoong, Seonghwa, and Yunho rushed downstairs to see what the commotion was all about. Though they were nervous, they were also curious and they were not going to be the only ones left behind with the information.

But when they stepped onto the living area, they were confused at the sight upon them.

San and Wooyoung were nowhere to be found, Yeosang had a look of utter surprise which was a rare sight, a teary Jongho was standing next to Mingi who was fully crying, and in front of them was a person clad in a black hoodie and a pair of black sweats. The person's back was to the three so they didn't know who it was.

"What's wrong? What happened?" Hongjoong asked with all the strength he could muster. The others who stood in front of the person clad in black could only look at the leader but weren't able to utter a single word.

Slowly, the unknown person turned their body towards the three. All eyes widened and their breaths hitched, the sight before them was just too confusing to comprehend.

"What are you doing here?" Hongjoong asked.

"And who are you?" Yunho added.

The person took his hood off to reveal a man around their age, charming with a glint of playfulness as he smirked at them.

But before he could introduce himself, Mingi had beaten him to the punch, "this is (Y/N)'s cousin who also studied here," he said. The man nodded and grin widely, "Howdy, I'm Haknyeon," he then stuck his hand out for any of the three to shake, "Joo Haknyeon, pleased to meet your acquaintance,"

Before either one of the three could shake his hand, however, Mingi lunged forward to try and grab at Haknyeon's sweater. Luckily, Yeosang and Jongho managed to hold the larger guy back.

"Skip the pleasantries, Haknyeon, and tell them what you told us" he growled. Haknyeon only raised an eyebrow and smirked in amusement, "wow, (Y/N) was right when she said you're a ticking time bomb. No one is ever THAT happy, ever tried counselling, big guy?" he poked.

Then he turned around to the three still confused boys with a distraught expression, "It's about (Y/N)," he started.

"Oh God," Yunho yelped out, his hand immediately gripped onto the arm of the closest person which was Seonghwa.

"What about (Y/N)?" Seonghwa asked, voice cracking from nerves. Haknyeon looked like he didn't wanna talk, but the hopeful eyes in front of him struck something deep in him, "she... left," he said.

"Yeah, she left us, we know that," Yunho clarified, "no, she... LEFT left," Haknyeon stressed.

The boys behind Haknyeon let out choked out tears once again as the Hongjoong, Seonghwa, and Yunho felt like their world just shattered.

San and Wooyoung came back from the kitchen, San looking dishevelled and distraught as Wooyoung tailed after him, looking more or less the same but not worse.

"Tell me where she went," San demanded once he fully stood in front of Haknyeon. He was about to grab the stranger's hoodie in his hands but Wooyoung luckily prevented him.

Haknyeon took a step back from San to evade being grabbed, "can't do that, sorry, I promised her," he shrugged simply.

By this point, you could feel the tension in the room. The once sorrowful boys now had veins popping on their foreheads and they seemingly had their brains connected as they took a step towards Haknyeon together. The intruder was cornered in the middle of eight menacing men.

"See, Haknyeon, I told you sticking to the script would've been better,"

All nine heads snapped towards the direction of the kitchen where you stood, hands on your waist and your luggage and bag by your side.

Haknyeon grinned innocently and shrugged, "And where would the fun be there?" he joked, slipping himself from between the boys towards you. He wrapped an arm around your shoulder and grinned widely at the eight now-dumbstruck men, "If you guys haven't figured it out, I was kidding, (Y/N)'s perfectly fine and she's back, she just needs my help to slip in here as a distraction while she slipped from the back," he said proudly.

But the silence in the room was deafening. Neither one of the boys reacted whatsoever. If you look closely, you're sure that neither of them was even blinking.

Seeing and feeling the tension, Haknyeon cringed and pat your head softly, "yeesh, tough crowd. I'll let you handle them on your own," he said simply before leaving from the back door where you came.

When the door closed behind Haknyeon, you finally realized that you now have to face the consequence of your action.

Luckily, you didn't have to break the silence.

"(Y/N)? Is that really you?" Jongho choked out, surprisingly. Out of everyone there, you thought the first ones to welcome you would've been Mingi, San, or Wooyoung, or even Seonghwa.

A smile broke on your face and your shoulders slumped in relief, "Yeah, it's really me, Ho,"

You were about to take walk towards them all when Yeosang stepped forward with a hand outstretched, motioning you to stop.

"You think you can just easily walk in here and we would just so easily accept you back?" he spat out.

Your feet stopped in its track and your heart dropped to your stomach.

"Accept me back? What do you mean accept me back, was I ever rejected by you all?" you couldn't help but ask, feeling like Yeosang didn't mean what he said.

But you were dead wrong.

"You left out of the blue, without any explanation, leaving us scrambling around like headless chicken looking for you. YOU rejected us first," he said.

You furrowed your eyebrows at him, "I didn't reject you guys- oh my God, I had to get away from here for a while and I couldn't tell any of you! I didn't have time because I was pressed, FORCED to leave and having to keep my mouth shut about everything, I was miserable when I left," your voice cracked on its own mid-sentence without you realizing.

A scoff left Yeosang's mouth, "No one forced you to do anything, (Y/N), you LEFT, you CHOSE to do that all on your own," he turned a bit to point at Mingi, Wooyoung, and Jongho, "You left those three crying their eyes out for you, there wasn't a day when Mingi wouldn't actively go out to look for you with one of the others, do you know that your former RA almost got his ass tied to a restriction order?" he then moved again to point at the three oldest, "Hwa hyung and Yunho barely ate, too stressed to even keep food down, Hwa hyung had to take medicine for the toll of stress on his body and Joong hyung barely went out of his room, he tried to distract himself from the fact that you left without saying anything, some of us had to force him to eat and sleep,"

Then suddenly he gripped onto San's hand and brought him forward. Your heart broke at how sunken San looked, bags under his eyes and he seemed visibly smaller and weaker, "and San here got so depressed that he wasn't able to function whatsoever. I had to make sure he got out of his bed and move around every day or else I'm sure that he would've died," Yeosang's voice cracked as tears began streaming down his eyes.

Yunho took a step forward and look around at everyone, "G-guys, let's calm down a bit-"

But he was cut off by Yeosang who had let his emotion took over him completely.

"You left us! You left us broken-hearted and confused and lonely and ruined! So no, you don't get to waltz here so easily, thinking that we'd just accept you with open arms after the crap you pulled. If you wanted to be a wandering tramp, then why even bother coming back? Did you get bored out there? Or were your conquest turned out to be a failure? We were genuine about you, yet you simply shrugged us off like dust," he screamed at you.

You didn't even realize that your own tears had run down your own face. You looked around for the other boys for help, but neither one were looking at you. They were actively avoiding your stare.

Seeing Yeosang's chest heaving heavily with lips trembling, Seonghwa took a step closer to him and pulled him back slowly.

"Yeosang, come on, man, not like this. Not now. Let's take a deep breath first, okay?" he said softly despite his own obvious bubbling emotion.

Maybe it was the raw emotion and the vulnerable state Yeosang was in, but he simply let Seonghwa drag him back slowly until they both retreated to the stairs.

One by one, starting from Jongho then Hongjoong and Wooyoung, then San slowly followed whilst keeping his eyes glued to the floor, they all left you. Your heartbeat quickened when you watched their retrieving figure, backs towards you so coldly.

Not that you could blame them, Yeosang made a point about you leaving just like that without any notice.

All that left were Yunho and Mingi.

As they looked at each other, you could see that they were debating whether to welcome you or not.

Your hope was immediately crushed as they simply gave you a broken-hearted stare and followed the other six, disappearing to their own rooms.

So all that's left was you, out in the open.

All alone.

Vulnerable.

How you wish you could turn back time and changed your decision.

taglist :

@raysanshine @peachy-maia @xuxiable @90s-belladonna @theclawofaraven @sanraes @sungiehan @felix-kithes @nycol-ie @superstarw99 @skkrtnawrskkrt @viv-atiny @the7thcrow @stfu-xeena @laurademaury @multihoe-net @daisyhwa @scoupshushushu @whyisquill @bikiniholic @yunhorights @exfolitae @simplewonderland @verycooldog2 @perfectlysane24 @hannahdinse8 @tannie13 @aka-minhyuk-kun @phebeedee @em0yunho @marsophilia @donghyuckanti27 @se-onghwa @malewife-supremacy @hyunsukream @elijahbabyb @taejichafe @alliecoady98 @rdiamondbts2727 @hakuna-matata-ya @ohmy-fandoms @spacechubbyatiny @stray-bi-kids @imaaroy @fashi0nablee @rindomo @violetwinters @nabihwa @linhyyboo12 @mirror-juliet @bestboiericsohn

[smnthwrd]

to preface this, i actually really liked season 10.

with that said, not a day goes by that im not angry--and i mean seething--about whatever the fuck that byron storyline was😐����

and the thing that im most angry about is not the storyline itself, but the way it was executed. i was actually excited to see mickey get a boyfriend who wasnt ian, because their entire relationship (after things got serious between them) mickey has been the one chasing after ian, getting hurt by ian, being forced to come out by ian, waiting on ian, getting dumped by ian. (i know ians going through his own shit with his bipolar for most of this, but it doesnt mean that mickey doesnt have the right to be hurt by his actions.)

even when ian was jealous because mickey went and fucked angie, he didnt even really have a right to, because he was fucking ned. i just feel like for most of the duration of their relationship, ian has been the one holding the power, and mickey has been following him around like a little puppy. we've literally never seen mickey show even a small amount of interest in another dude, but we've seen him watch ian fuck, dance, and flirt with a bunch of other guys. and when mickey wasnt in the show, ian got to have other boyfriends, learn about actual relationships and finding love ("love"🙄) when you cant be with the one you truly want. ian got to explore his sexuality, mickey didnt (im not counting prison stfu😭🤚)

anyways, my point is, when i accidentally spoiled myself for s10 and found out mickey got a boyfriend, i was excited. not because i didnt want ian and mickey to be together, but because i wanted mickey to be the one walking away, just once. i wanted ian to be the one hurting because of mickey instead of the other way around. i wanted mickey to actually walk away, to say "that whole marriage thing was fucked up, and you hurt me, i didnt deserve that, and im done." i wanted ian to have to see mickey happy with someone else, to see that he's a person with feelings and not just a little puppy who's always going to come back no matter how many times you screw him over.

even when mickey was with byron and doing his whole childish tantrum routine (which was completely contradictory to all of his character development up until that point but thats another conversation 😒) ian was never really worried that he would lose him. it was never about if he could get him back, it was just when. because the byron thing was so absolutely ridiculous, ian knew he just had to propose to get mickey to stop rebelling and come back to him, because hes mickey. of course ian had his own shit to work out about marriage and his bipolar, but through all of that he knew mickey would say yes, which is what freaked him out.

i wanted ian to have to actually consider the possibility of losing mickey. not losing him to a forced marriage, or 15 years in prison, or a fugitive life in mexico, or some other forced circumstance that prevents them from being together, but actually losing him, by his choice, and having to see him continuing to live his life every day as a gay man in south side chicago. just once i wanted mickey to be happy and ian to be hurting.

and then i would have liked to see them have a real conversation pretty similar to the one with the promise rings where:

ian explains his apprehension when it comes to marriage and his crippling insecurities regarding his bipolar, mickey says man i love you but this is fucked up, you gotta figure yourself out because i cant do this anymore.

and then THEY ACTUALLY SHOW US IANS SELF-LOVE JOURNEY WHERE HE REALIZES THAT HE IS IN FACT WORTHY OF LOVE AND BEING BIPOLAR DOESNT CHANGE THAT, and then ian proposes and gallavich! and all of that

anyways yeah all that to say that i was really ready for mickey to have a real (but short-lived) relationship with someone who wasnt ian, but instead we got whatever the fuck that stupid, petty byron shit was. it just painted mickey out to be pathetic and immature and i did not appreciate it.

[angelanika]

How Bizarre Pt.3

<<<Part 2                                      

Chapter Warnings: Toxic Relationships, Sugar daddy/baby relationship, cheating, cursing, implied sexual activity, depictions of racial discrimination

Your new job is how you would describe as very...eventful.

While most of the girls catered to Mr.Hara in more thrilling ways, you took it upon yourself to look after Prince and actually do some tidying up around the place, which Mr.Hara was extremely grateful for.

And being the generous magician that he is, he then materialized said gratitude into dollar bills.

One Saturday evening after you had tucked Prince in and all of the girls had left, you placed a steaming plate in front of an exhausted Mr.Hara who instantly pulled you into his lap.

The house was eerily quiet for a place that’s usually buzzing with excitement but you kinda enjoyed the peace.

You made yourself comfortable as he holds you tight against his broad chest and rests his head on your shoulder, letting out a deep sigh. 

His sleek, black hair was untidy and a few top buttons of his shirt had been undone but overall, the man just looked SEXY.

“Rough day?” you ask softly.

“Yeah,” he groans. “Thank you for the meal princess.”

“My pleasure.”

You hop off his lap to allow him to eat and he ushers you to sit down next to him. 

As he finished, you sprung up to collect the plate but he stopped you and told you to just sit back down for a minute.

You were confused.

“So,” he finally began,”My wife is coming back tomorrow.” 

Well isn’t this fucker just full of surprises...

“WIFE?!” you exclaimed, “You told me you were divorced!”

“Divorced……..in my mind.”

This bitch.

You felt totally betrayed, stupid and almost disgusted with yourself. You wanted to slap him across his cheek, spit in his face and walk out right then and there but... you didn’t.

You knew that finding a new job that paid just as well quickly would be extremely difficult, especially when the employers here were always reluctant to hire...people like you…

You basically had to fight for your last job and even after all that struggling, they still didn’t pay you well.

Mr.Hara watched the anger wash away from your face, being replaced with that of just annoyance and uncertainty of what to do next.

Taking notice of your semi-cooldown, he figured it was ok to continue, “She was dealing with some international relations for the Hero’s Commission abroad and was gone for quite a bit, but as i said, she’ll be back tomorrow so I have to make some changes.”

You rolled your eyes and sighed, plopping your exhausted body down in the luxury dining chair, holding your aching head in your hands.

 “Ok, so what does that mean for me?” You asked without even looking up.

Mr.Hara adjusted in his chair a bit and cleared his throat, “ahem well obviously I can’t have all the girls here anymore, so I let them go.”

Your face flew up, “Even Lada?”

“Yes, sorry, I know you two had gotten close.”

You only sighed and dropped your head again as he continued.

“But I would like for you to stay if you don’t mind.” 

Seeing that you were the only one who really worked around the house and took care of Prince, it made sense. 

With his wife around, his little “maids” are gonna have to actually do some housework and that’s where you come in.

“My wife will probably try to cut your pay but don’t worry, I’ll still top up your account and such. So what do you say princess?”

You remained quiet.

“I understand if you want to go,” Mr.Hara said quickly during your silence, sitting up and reaching for your hand, “but it would be a real help if you sta-”

“fine.” you whispered.

Relief washed over the unnecessarily attractive man and he was finally able to relax back down in his seat.

But just as he slouched back down, you swiftly jumped up.

“But if she’s a bitch then I want extra,” you argue.

Mr.Hara immediately laughed at this and dragged you into his lap once more,

 “Well I guess I’ll be paying you extra princess.”

*   *  *

The next day, just as he had promised, Mrs.Hara arrived.

She had long manicured nails and shiny jewelry to match. Her silky dark hair rested by her slim waist adorned with an expensive diamond clip. She looked a tad younger than Mr.Hara himself but her stare was just as intimidating.

The minute she stepped through the door, the whole atmosphere changed drastically and it was plain as day that their relationship hadn’t a single drop of romance.

You wondered if it arranged for connections or convenience or something like that but then again, that ain’t none of your business.

"Welcome home," Mr Hara stated plainly.

“Mm thanks" she boredly replied.

She huffed while taking off her brown fur coat, to which he makes no effort to assist and you laughed to yourself at the thought of how eager he is to remove other women’s clothing.

"Where's Rosalina? I need a massage."

"Actually…” Mr.Hara began, “Ms.Rosalina was getting a little old and had served us well for years so I let her go." 

Mrs.Hara glared at him.

He then grabbed your shoulders and presented you in front of her.

"This is Y/N L/N, our new maid" 

The terrifying woman finally acknowledged your presence.

She eyed you up and down and up and down.

The sass in you was aching to do the same to her and turn up your nose, but u suppressed to urge. 

"Hm," she finally says, "at least she looks the part."

TF SHE MEAN BY THAT?!?!

"Ok Y/N, I'm not comfortable with you touching me just yet, so fix up a plate for me quickly, I'm starving. I don't care what it is." 

"Ok," you said ready to walk off.

"Oh and one more thing....its Yes Mrs.Hara"

As you strolled passed Mr.Hara to slip into the kitchen, you quickly tapped his shoulder and whispered, "Remember. Extra."

* * *

It had been a little over 2 months since Mrs.Hara's arrival and you were balancing working at the house and the daycare pretty well.

When you finally arrived at the mansion one Friday to complete your evening work, you immediately noticed a missing luxury car from the massive driveway.

"Mrs.Hara," you spoke, "should i prepare the dinner table for you and your husband now or will he be out a bit later?"

She straightened up from her lounging position on the couch and looked up from her phone to face you.

"Oh yeah, about that. I kicked him out." 

Huh?

Your soul left your body.

Fly high y/n 🕊

"W-what do you mean you kicked him out?" You damn near shouted. Your voice laced with desperation and your eyes wide and shaky.

Mr.Hara was the only reason you kept this job, the only thing getting you through this job!

She turned to you with a raised brow, confused as to why this would bother you so much.

"I caught the old dirtbag sleeping around so I kicked him out," she explained calmly.

 "Frankly I knew he always had other girls in our bed and I was with other men," she laughed, "but I got tired of it, you know, so I kicked him out." 

You felt sick.

"P-please excuse me," you mutter.

Mrs.Hara only gave you a small nod before plugging back in her earbuds and turning to her phone.

You dashed towards your small chambers and immediately took out yours.

"Please pick up! Please pick up! Please pick up!" You chanted into the device as it rang.

The number you have dialed is unavailable. Please tr-

Fuck...

“Come on you dirty bastard! Pick up! Pick up!”

The number you have dialed is unavailabl-

FUCK!!

You probably tried to call Mr.Hara’s phone at least 74 times that evening and each time there was no answer. 

You didn't have anyone to ask for a possible new number.

The extra cash suddenly stopped being deposited into your account 

And honestly, now you were just tired.

Rumour has it that he left everything behind to go live his best life in the tropical paradise of Jamaica soaking up the sun, sand and sea and fully enjoying the Caribbean girls and culture. 

You laughed to yourself as you thought about all these bizarre events that took place throughout the year and landed you where you are now.

All you could do was laugh at this point.

You looked back at the list Mrs.Hara had left on the table for you this morning, mentally ticking off "Make Lemonade" as you placed the 2 jugs in the large refrigerator.

"Ok y/n," you said to yourself, "time for the cupcakes! Ouuu Prince is gonna love these!" 

As you zoomed through the kitchen, as busy as a bee, Bakugou was on the other side of town casually strolling through the hotel you had left just hours before.

“Did you enjoy your stay, Ground Zero?” asked the polite lobby boy as he opened the large glass door for the hero.

“Yeah Yeah Whatever,” Bakugou grumbled while pulling up his dark sunglasses.

But he was in a better mood than most days and was feeling generous. 

Before he slipped through the door, he stopped and pulled out his wallet, “And uh, here’s a tip- WHAT THE FUCK?!”

Lobby boy: 👁👄👁

“WHERE TF IS MY MONEY?!”

“Umm sir...we’re gonna need you to lower your voi-”

“STFU and take this,” Bakugou yelled while shoving a $20 bill into the boy's hand.

The boy went on to thank the Pro Hero but Bakugou was already storming out the door and throwing himself into his car.

“I’m sure I had a few other hundred bucks in here, where the fuc-……...THAT BITCH!”

It all finally came back to him.

“THAT SNEAKY FUCKING BITCH! Ohhhh when I get my hands on the slu-”

*Brrrrr Brrrrr*

Bakugou continued to curse under his breath as he aggressively shifted around in the car to grab his phone from his back pocket, “Tch. What is it shittyhair?!”

“Hey Man!” Kirishima chirped, “Just reminding you about the kid’s birthday party today.”

“HAH?! The fuck you talking about? It’s my day off!”

“Uh well no, not really. You agreed to show up for the kid’s party today at 4, remember?”

Bakugou finally took a glance at the notifications on his phone, revealing the 20+ reminders from his assistant and notes in his calendar. 

Oh yea this shit to make him lOoK bEttEr iN tHe pUbLic eYE.

“AGHHH!! Fine...I’m on my way. I just need to go home and grab my costume.”

“You’re not at home?”.

“No shittyhair, I’m at a hotel.”

“What are you doing at a hote- OHHH!” Bakugou could practically hear Kiri’s smirk through the phone, “so you finallyyy got laid, huh?”

“Shut the hell up! It hasn’t been that long shittyface!”

“Its shittyhai-”

“WHATEVERTHEFUCK”

“Haha alright man,” Kiri laughed, “Just hurry up ok? I’m pulling up now and these people are LOADED!”

Bakugou started up his car and put Kirishima on speaker as he began to drive.

“Yeah ok whatever, just send the address.”

“Alright man, will do…...wait, HOLY SHIT Bro!”

“What is it?!” Bakugou barked.

“Aye man, make sure you dress well! The maid setting up here is SMOKING HO-”

*Beep* Call Ended

“Tch. Fucking dumbass…”

A/N: wheww what a piece of drama! Sorry if this seemed rushed, I really wanted to get the backstory out there, without taking away from the main plot 😅 Thanks for all the support, sorry for the wait but sit back, things are gonna get heated🤪

Taglist:

@jazzylove @blkirishima @lovinthesiz3 @lasnaro @starrylustrousastraea @thanx-idonttry

[corbo-florbo]

Fantasy Booking - Smackdown: Getting Old and Growing Up

Soooo, how about that ending to Super Showdown, huh? Yeah, I’m still reeling from that myself, but thankfully, this has altered this fantasy booking only a small amount. I guess I sat on this for too long! Rather than do a “what-if” of alternate events rather than the one we got, I figured why not run with what we’ve got? It’s even got a message I felt passionate about sharing, something I’ve been holding on to as a nostalgic person. Also, I promise this is the last one of John Cena I do for a while. Promise.

Tagging my favorite new people to talk wrestling with: @mith-gifs-wrestling and @adriennegabriella! Without further ado, here we go!

Friday Night Smackdown, the night after the Super Showdown pay-per-view. Goldberg is out, celebrating his win, as you expect - negative reactions. People are upset, angry. Almost as though they were in mourning. Goldberg cuts a promo about how he has let the WWE Universe down too many times. 2004, Wrestlemania 20, the night he left. 2017, Wrestlemania 33, his loss to Brock Lesnar before riding off into the sunset towards retirement after not being able to keep up with Lesnar. 2019, Super Showdown, the night he and Undertaker put on that horrific match. Yet, after defeating a horrifying monster, he is met with boos and jeers. “What does it take to please you people?!” The frustration and tension in the air is palpable from the sheer hatred from the WWE Universe, that Goldberg meets in kind. He’s done being Mr. Nice Goldberg, he doesn’t care what everyone wants, he just cares about “WHO’S NEXT?!”

Cue the Firefly Funhouse, as Bray Wyatt cheerfully welcomes everyone, even Goldberg. He claims that he and The Fiend harbor no ill will towards Goldberg. Goldberg has no history with Wyatt, so therefore The Fiend did not feel any need to dominate, not to mention never fighting Goldberg before. Now that Goldberg took something away from him, however, he doesn’t rule out collecting that debt. He then goes on to state that he never truly intended on obtaining the title. He was just after Seth Rollins at that time. Seth and Bray had a complicated past, so The Fiend had to make him pay like he made Finn Balor pay. Just like he eventually made Daniel Bryan pay. Miz, being the only exception, was targeted by Bray,not The Fiend, as there was little history, none of it hurting Bray in the past. The title means nothing to him, and he doesn’t mind moving on. Bray goofily asks “who’s next?” before resorting to that growl and saying the familiar “Let Me In.” 

This night, John Cena returns to a warm welcome. He’s happy to see us as much as we are happy to see him. Cena states he doesn’t know how long he has left to provide to the WWE, but he knows this is his home. He remembers where he came from, the place he held it down. Just the usual standard stuff. Nothing too big, but the backstage footages of him subtly show Firefly Funhouse puppets lurking around in the background. Ironically, it is Cena that can’t see them. 

Next Smackdown, the go-home to Elimination Chamber, Goldberg comes out to cut a promo asking “Who’s Next?” Out comes Roman Reigns, having ended his feud with King Corbin, and Roman looks annoyed. Pissed, even. He eyes down Goldberg, who smiles, confused. 

“Roman Reigns, nice to finally meet you in person. I see you’ve adopted my spear. So what brings you out here, and what’s on your mind, son?” Goldberg does not take his eyes off Roman.

“I’mma just say this once, Bill. The Fiend worked his ass off to get to where he was. He found himself - whoever the hell that was - and the fruits of his labor was paying off. You know how hard that is to do in this company? I’ve been finding out the hard way after my ass got taken out. Y’know, I too lost the Universal Title, and I’ve been busting my ass to get back there. It’s almost fate it’s here on Smackdown with me. Now, here’s my problem with you, and people like you.

“Y’see Bill, we are the new generation, and we’ve been dying to bring something new to the table. We leave it all in the ring only to hear that today’s product sucks. That we need to bring back the Attitude Era, and now the Ruthless Aggression Era. Everyone is stuck in the past, and that’s where guys like you come in. Some familiar face that the casual fan comes in to see, and all of a sudden wrestling is magical again, it’s captivating again. Out the window goes our hard work, all that easily ignored. Of course you wouldn’t know what that’s like, you’ve had a rocket strapped to your back your whole career. Squashing people left and right in WCW, and starting off dominant coming off into WWE. Then you couldn’t handle it and you left. Came back again, and lost, and guess what? You left. You gonna leave again? Might as well leave it to someone more capable.

Unfortunately Roman isn’t done with Corbin, as he comes to the ring, and cuts a short promo, followed by Robert Roode (planting seeds for dissention between their trio involving Dolph Ziggler). Then Shinsuke Nakamura and his mouthpiece Sami Zayn (with a tinge of longing and jealousy in his voice as he gazes at the title Goldberg holds.). Braun Strowman comes out, wanting to add another title belt around his waist. Daniel Bryan comes out and cuts a promo about how lost he’s been, and he needs this Elimination Chamber match to find out which direction he needs to go. Goldberg chuckles and leaves. The match has been set and the figures are in place. To the victor goes the spoils.

That same night, John Cena issues an open challenge for Elimination Chamber, and the Firefly Funhouse music plays. Bray greets John. “Hiya John! Yowie wowie, it’s been ages since I seen you! Let’s go Cena, Cena sucks! Remember that? I do...” then Bray transitions into a growl. “And so does he.” Back to smiles, Bray continues: “You’re a hero! A legend! Shoot, at Wrestlemania 30, you defeated me, even with the help of my former Fireflies! Your many, MANY fans loved it, but there’s someone that didn’t. HE still doesn’t like that, John.” Bray goes into a hush, “Maybe he wants to meet you again. Maybe at Elimination Chamber, he wants to get his hands on you... Let me in. See ya, bye!”

Unsettled but undeterred, Cena accepts, confident. If Goldberg could take down Fiend, why not him? But it was all a trick, as at Elimination Chamber, Bray comes out instead of The Fiend, but not even as Funhouse Bray, but Muscleman Dance Bray. Just like with The Fiend, Muscleman Dance Bray (MDB for short) no-sells every move by John Cena, and dances to taunt him. Desparate, Cena goes for every Attitude Adjustment and Five-Knuckle Shuffle (enough to the point the lead-up to his moves becomes shorter, until there is no lead-up.) Cena drops more and more moves from his arsenal: Running One-Hand Bulldog, Flying Shoulder Block, and what seems most effective, the STFU. Bray powers out of each, almost rhythmically, as he goes in for the win.

Jump to the Elimination Chamber match, starting out with Shinsuke and Roode. Shinsuke seems to dominate at first, but Roode starts powering out more. They go back and forth until the next entrant comes out: King Corbin. Sami tries to help in the back, trying to distract against Corbin and Roode, which works to a degree. It matters not, for Shinsuke still struggles. He reaches for Sami, as though expecting something and Sami reaches back, barely through the Chamber wall, before being attacked by Elias and laid out. Corbin gets the pin on Shinsuke, eliminating the King of Strong Style. As he’s rolled out, Corbin hits a surprise End-of-Days on Roode, covers him for the pin, bringing the fight down to four people. Out comes Daniel Bryan, who gets the boot by Corbin. Bryan takes opportunity of this by grabbing Corbin’s leg, pulling him down for a leg lock, shades of Ric Flair. This is broken up a bit later by the next entrant, Braun Strowman, but not without a bit of wait time. His pod door won’t open, so he breaks through and breaks the submission. Grabbing Bryan, Strowman carries him and slams him down on the mat and gets the pin. A roar erupts from the Monster Among Men, taking his eyes off Corbin, who dishes out a low-blow. As Roman steps out of his pod, Strowman kicks out at 2. Roman pulls Corbin to his feet, backs to the turnbuckle and dishes out a Superman Punch. That pin is broken up by an enraged Strowman. Tying Roman to the turnbuckle using the ropes, Braun barrels into him over and over again. Corbin crawls outside near the Chamber wall, watching as this goes on. Braun takes notice. “I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!” as he steps over the top rope and grabs Corbin by his head. Roman gets untangled and wraps his arms around Braun’s head until he is brought over the top rope, but he lands on his feet. Two spears from Roman later, and Strowman staggers. Roman grabs his head, looks to the audience and gives a cocky smirk as he lifts Strowman up for a Jackhammer, ending with a powerful slam. 1, 2, 3. Now it’s Roman and Corbin. The two stare for a bit, Roman ever so determined, but there’s something different in Corbin’s eyes.

“I QUIT! Corbin raises Roman’s hand, and walks out of the Chamber. Confused, Roman shrugs it off and celebrates. 

Next Smackdown, Roman brags about his win. “Y’all, this has been a long time comin’. My ass fought long and hard to get back to the title I never lost. I kicked leukemia’s ass. I came back and dominated, even survived a crappy attempt at manslaughter by Rowan. Most importantly I survived Corbin, and I thought that would never end!”

Almost as if a reply, Corbin’s entrance theme plays. All seriousness with Corbin as he walks to the ring. “Don’t think this means we’re buddy-buddy. I still hate you. But I hate moments when old, legendary part-timers come in and take time from us. I know that’s cheap coming from me. I got so much camera time and I’ve had that “go away heat”, but this has got to end. It’s our time, Roman. And you might just be the one to stop Goldberg. I mean, he hasn’t even showed up for a match since he won the damn title! Meanwhile, you come in every week and do your job. You’ve kicked my ass I don’t know how many times over the past few months and did you complain? No. You’ve got the heart of a lion. No matter what happens, you do not stop until he is down, you got me? You take his ass down, Roman! Put an end to this, before I put an end to you! You owe it not to yourself, or even these idiots out here. You owe it to me and everyone else backstage. Get that title, Roman. So I can take it off of you.” Corbin leaves, and Roman isn’t smiling anymore. This isn’t fun and games anymore.

In the ring later that night, Goldberg is interviewed by Michael Cole. Cole asks if Goldberg is worried about Roman, which Goldberg shrugs off and laughs. “You’re asking me if that young pipsqueak has anything on me? Please, I took out the best of ‘em. Hogan, Raven, Sting, DDP, Jericho, even Brock Lesnar. Roman’s just a guy. He’s next alright, but not for the title. He’s next for a spear. He’s next to be my victim. Come Wrestlemania, he’s dead meat.”

John Cena’s theme song hits, and he walks down the ramp. “Seems you forgot, you got one more pay-per-view between now and Wrestlemania, pops. Fastlane, remember? Isn’t that where you took out Kevin Owens?”

“Maybe, but I figured it was just a pit stop, y’know?” Goldberg retorts, his dumb old grin spreading. Meanwhile, Michael Cole steps out, knowing how this goes, being a vet to the industry. “It’s just a formality at that point. It’s a foregone conclusion. C’mon, I’m Bill freaking Goldberg. You’re just Mr. Hollywood now, so run along now pretty boy. I bet I don’t even have to hit a Jackhammer on you!”

Cena chuckles. “Now ain’t that an arrogant way to see things? After all, why not deny these people a chance to see a dream match they didn’t know they wanted?”

“Screw these people! I come back and they turn on me.”

“They’ve been against me for half my career, it ain’t nothin’ new to me old-timer. I still came in regardless. They turned on Roman too, he ain’t never turned on them though. So I think it’s time I take your old ass down a few pegs and make you humble. How does Fastlane sound?”

“Really, Cena? You think you can take on me? Name one thing you think you got that makes you think you can go toe-to-toe with me!”

A smile spreads upon Cena’s face. It’s been a while he’s been asked this. “RUTHLESS AGGRESSION!” A slap to Goldberg, which is no-sold, as per usual. He pushes Cena, and crouches for a spear, which Cena dodges, as he gives the Flying Shoulder Block. “Remember Goldberg, at Fastlane, as you’re laying flat on your back and the ref counts to three, just remember that you were next. Cena out.”

Fastlane approaches, and the two legends face off in the main event. Cena displays an offense we haven’t seen in a long time from him. He’s brutal, attacking before Goldberg. Goldberg hits him with three spears in between Cena’s bigger arsenal of moves. Still, Cena persists. Cena resorts to heelish tactics, like tricking the referee, hitting Goldberg with weapons, and using the environment to his advantage. He’s wearing down Goldberg the best he can. After an AA, he sets it up for the Five-Knuckle Shuffle, knowing an AA won’t be enough to put Goldberg down. As he gets ready for the drop, the arena goes black. With the little amount of lights, Cena can be seen suffering a Mandible Claw at the hands of The Fiend until he is incapacitated. The arena brightens up again and The Fiend is gone. Goldberg takes advantage of this and gets the pin over Cena. Goldberg is then boo’d out of the building. 

The Friday following, Goldberg brags about how Cena was just another guy. “Yeah, he made me give out everything I had, but it just wasn’t enough. LIke I said, I didn’t even have to hit a Jackhammer on him! I’m going through everyone like I did him. I’m the bullet that’s shooting through all of your heroes!” He drops the mic and as he heads back through the entrance, he is met with a spear by Roman Reigns, mic in hand. “You still got me to deal with, grandpa.”

Later that night, Cena sits in a chair in the middle of the ring. The arena is dark, with all lights on him. “So I stopped your momentum back in the day, Bray. I get it. I was on my own power trip that I didn’t let you have your moment. Again, I get it. Someone with your capabilities could have taken over this company, yet I took out you and your goons. But you need to stop right now. I’m not just someone looking for a big payday. This is my home. If you keep coming after me, I will do all I can to put your ass down. Maybe I won’t last against you, you’re a different beast now. I may be looking at my next big defeat. Whatever it takes, come Hell or high water, I’ll do what it takes, even if I gotta take this golden shovel everyone claims I have, and I’ll bury your ass back to Hell where you belong!”

The Friday before Wrestlemania, Cena doesn’t show up, but he is shown in a montage vignette of getting himself in shape to take on The Fiend. Further into that evening, a Firefly Funhouse promo plays out, with The Fiend and the gang discussing John Cena. Ramblin’ Rabbit pleads with Bray to not go after Cena, before being killed again. Mercy the Buzzard says he wants to see blood run from Cena’s face. Abby the Witch asks Bray to make it quick so she can get back to her beauty sleep. Huskus the Pig simply sleeps. Bray stops the kiddie talk at the end, saying: “You’ve stopped me from taking everything over before, John. You’re next... Let me in...” Cheerful Bray returns, “See ya in Hell! Bye, bye, bye!”

The night ends with a contract signing between Goldberg and Roman Reigns. Roman signs first, not saying anything...yet. Goldberg cockily proclaims, “You’re awfully eager to get speared into an early grave! You sure you don’t wanna back out and play out the rest of your career? It’s only the end for you after Wrestlemania, young man!”

“I’m not gonna say your catchphrase, about bein’ next or whatever. I’m not gonna make any snide remarks. I am gonna  put your ass down, and make an example out of you. I’m gonna send a message for every old, decrepit fossil that decides they gonna step in the ring with my generation that we ain’t gonna take it anymore. We’re sick and tired, and it’s our time. If it takes my ass getting boo’d again, so be it. At Wrestlemania, you’re not next, last, or whatever you like to say. At Wrestlemania, Bill, you’re done.” Roman leaves and Goldberg signs. Commentary remarks about how rare it is that contract signings don’t end in a calamitous brawl.

Wrestlemania time:

John Cena vs The Fiend Bray Wyatt - John shows up in regular, red and blue wrestling shorts. No more jean shorts. The Fiend stares him down regardless. Cena hits low blow after low blow, and changes his AA into an FU. Not even that stops Fiend. Shoulder Block, Five Knuckle Shuffle, Running One-Hand Bulldog, and even the Sixth Move of Doom isn’t enough to end Fiend. Each time he gets up, he hits the Mandible Claw, only to have it broken out. Cena even removes the pad from the turnbuckle, and Irish Whips Fiend in that direction, only for it to be reversed and Cena hits it face-first. There is one move Cena hasn’t tried though, and doesn’t get to try after Fiend transitions his Mandible Claw into an STFU. Cena looks like he’s about to pass out, as drool drips from his mouth and blood drips from his forehead. He taps out. The Fiend has just collected another debt. 

Goldberg vs Roman Reigns (Universal Title) - Both men hit a spear on each other, first thing. Both men are flat. Goldberg attempts to knee Roman, but misses as he hits the Superman Punch. Roman even brings back moves he doesn’t use as much, such as the Drive By and the Moment of Silence. Goldberg gets up from those and spears Roman twice. Roman no-sells both of them, patting his vest, which he then takes off for the first time since he put it on in his wrestling career. He hits Goldberg with another Superman Punch, which only staggers him before giving Roman a Jackhammer, and goes for the pin, which Roman kicks out a second before the ref could count to three. Goldberg beats down on Roman’s head, until the referee forces him off. Goldberg watches impatiently as Roman gets to his feet, and quickly moves out of the way as Goldberg’s spear hits the turnbuckle post. Roman hits the “OOOH-AHHH!” before lunging another spear at Goldberg, and gets his leg up for the pin. 1, 2, 3 and Roman is reunited with the Universal Champion again.

Goldberg stays retired, having realized the error of his ways. He grows up and realizes those years as a dominant force are to be left behind him. Roman has a lengthy and entertaining reign (see what I did there?), and loosens up again, being laid-back and entertaining to the fans. John Cena sticks around for a bit, becoming more brash and abrasive, having gone heel, and he targets Roman, who has to teach another old man a lesson. As for Bray, he hints at targeting Roman in the future. Maybe not now, but someday, he will get that title back, as he still has a score to settle with Roman. But next on his agenda? The Undertaker. Survivor Series. Four decades since The Deadman's debut.

[wasabi-duck]

soccer player jungkook

okay so believe it or not this request has been sitting in my inbox forever and i need to do something before my feelings eat me alive so lemme go on about this au which you know is a fave of mine

the request never specified which sport so guess what i’m gonna pick

wow surprise, it’s soccer!!

you’re looking for some fun fun ways to get in shape right?? like all your friends go to the gym or whatever but that really isn’t your style okay so you’re like, maybe a young adult sports league would be wild,,, sign me up

a lot of the stuff isn’t very appealing like softball?? where’s the fun in that?? do you even do that much exercising??

i played softball so i can say that okay

and like that league is always dominated with old beer dads and you’re like no thanks,,,

most people younger, and like more your age, you realize, end up in the coed soccer league!!

which is wild, you can get down with that

even if you’ve never played soccer, you wonder how hard it can be

after all the flyers say this is supposed to be a casual league right?? so what’s the harm

you’ll get to meet new people right and exercise at least twice a week, probably more, so it’s worth a shot!!

none of your friends are willing to join the soccer league though,,, they rather stay boring and be at the gym

you decide to sign up regardless though because hey, what could it hurt to try??

you send in your application and money and whatever

you’re like time to brush up on my soccer skills

so you do what any normal person would do and you watch every single world cup, both mens and womens, so you can get a hang for the sport itself right? and also figure out some rad techniques to use when you’re actually on the field

after that you’re like man i should try to go out to the park and practice my baller skills

so you go to the local park and you’re like okay let’s start with the basics…

and you go for juggling and if you play soccer you know that’s not basic

if you don’t play soccer, juggling is wild and you use your feet and knees and legs and chest and whatever to keep the ball in the air and from touching the ground for as long as you can!!

you’re like wow i bet this will be easy!!

okay the problem is that this isn’t very easy

and you end up kicking the ball super hard and it soars across the park and you’re like! oh yikes!

and you hear someone curse and groan and you’re like Oh YiKeS

you race over to where you think you kicked the ball and there’s two dudes standing there and the one is in hysterics and the other one is rubbing the back of his head

the laughing one is really tiny and his hair is black and he’s pale and he’s dressed in a sweater that’s way too big for him

the other one is god?

no wait jk it’s jeongguk

you don’t know that yet though

he’s standing there, glaring at you, and he looks actually really offended??

cute though like he has war of hormone era hair because i’m writing this and i do what i want

you start to apologize profusely and you’re like unsure of what to do??

like should you hold him or should you get the ball or like idk what do people do in this situation??

“omg im so sorRY!! i was practicing for this league im joining right and-!!”

“wow, you a goalie or something?? kind of a good punt you got there.” and he’s smiling now and he doesn’t look very offended anymore and it’s really a nice look on him

“uh n-no, actually-”

the other guy speaks and he’s like “come on kook, we gotta get to hoseok’s place before he beats us up for coming to his preseason ritual occult sacrifice”

“party. the word you’re looking for is party, yoongi”

“same thing”

jeongguk nods at you though and he gives you this little wink, then tosses your ball back and you’re so flustered that you almost drop it tbh

“catch you later?” and he gives this cute wave then he's off!!

and you're like oMG how embarrassing!!

you don't really think much about him though! because he he's a random boy you almost gave a concussion, nothing intense like that

but then

then kids

you show up to the first night of practice for your team

you're kinda nervous because you don't know anyone and like wow sketchy because you're alone

you're carrying your water bottle and soccer ball

there's too many people there's probably twenty people and you're probably one of the youngest here??

and you're like yikes panic modE ACTIVATED

nobody even pays you any mind and you're like maybe i can slip away without anyone realizing i was even on the team to begin with

but then

“hey, you know nobody can hold the ball but the goalie right?”

you spin and low and behold, it's the boy you nearly wrecked with the soccer ball a few weeks ago!!

your face heats up because boy is in a tight shirt and some shorts and his hair is pushed back on his forehead by a hairband and you're!!!

he laughs and gives you this cute bunny smile and you're like wow i'm so glad i decided to sport for once

he sticks his hand out and you awkwardly drop your stuff to shake it and he’s all !!!

“i'm jeongguk! but you can call me kookie! that's what everyone here calls me. i'm the captain, nice to meet you again”

and you're like wth the captain you look like you're seven or something but then you look at those,,, toned muscles again,,, and you're like yah that makes perfect sense

he asks you your name and you tell him and you guys are about to talk more but then six more guys come running over and jeongguk is like !!!

you recognize the small tiny one from before

jeongguk is like “these are my best friends!!”

he points to the one with linebacker shoulders and the pretty face “that's jin, he plays defense but he prefers sitting on the sidelines and playing nurse when needed!”

he points to a tanned boy with narrow eyes and a boxy smile “this is taetae. he plays middie, with jimin…”

he points to a blind boy with chubby cheeks and an angelic smile and he waves at you!!

there's one boy with a really big smile and he's jumping excitedly and before jeongguk can talk he's all “i'm hoseok!! i play midfield too!’ i'm not very good but it's fun!!”

and the little angry one is like “hoseok stfu you're amazing okay.”

jeongguk rolls his eyes “that's yoongi. he plays defense too.”

then he points to another tanned boy with sharp features and big dimples and he's like “that's namjoon! he's on defense too, funny huh??”

and you're like wth where is the offense,,,

and jeongguk shrugs kinda “i'm the goalie”

because i feel like everyone would assume he's offense, like the star scorer right?? but nah jeongguk is a really humble kid and he's really someone i think who does a lot of work behind the scenes to make everything fun together smoothly

also flexible and agile and nimble because dancer can you see it because i can

they all ask you what you play and you're like uh whatever they need me to play i guess,,,

you're assuming it'll be offense or something but nah,,,

because guess what jeongguk already has the hots for you and he's like wow do we need someone else on defense i think we do,,,

anyway practice starts and as the night goes along you're like is jeongguk even real??

because he's running drills like a professional and he's also super sweet and kind to everyone and he always pushes everyone to work their hardest!! and he's always willing to offer helpful critique when he sees fit

but he's also super willing to let others critique him

tbh he starts practice with indian runs though

so basically everyone is in a line and you're running, and the person in the back runs to the front, and then that person yells next or whatever, and the new person in the back rubs to the front, and you just keep going

you're like running for what seems like years and you and yoongi keep whining about your very near death and tbh you're pretty sure seokjin is about to cry

but jeongguk is going strong and the sweat is dropping down the face but it's such a natural look for him? like he belongs out here on the field??  

you wanna rub it in your friends faces that you've met the most beautiful wonderful perfect human ever but you won't

oh btw jeongguk pushes everyone hard but he's always asking if anyone needs a water break and tbh seokjin does after every drill

but like even the older members of the team really respect and love him and it's so endearing you can tell that the team really functions like a family

you actually love going to practice every week because at first he's like once a week until we get into the swing of things!!

you really get close to jeongguk’s friends especially, especially especially yoongi and jin, they baby you tbh,,,

the three of you always get scolded for slacking but tbh jeongguk is too afraid of seokjin to yell at him much and he has such a soft spot for yoongi,,, and you,,, so you guys get away with goofing off a lot

one of the traditions every practice, is at the end of the night to finish off practice with a shoot off

so it's like y’all stand in a line and wait your turn, then stand at the penalty line and shoot on jeongguk

he promises anyone that can win against him some candy bars of their choice!!

nobody ever wins

the only one that ever gets close is yoongi because jeongguk is too busy cooing over him to pay much attention

ahaha no hoseok and taehyung plus some random people have some pretty good shots and jeongguk actually has to put up effort to block their shots??

you're not the first one to get out but you definitely don't make it to the final rounds

you usually end up sitting at the goal post with namjoon and jin, because the others are still in it to win it

one of these nights, namjoon is like,,, “i'm glad you're on this team. jeongguk, yah he's captain, but he never really personally interacts with anyone but us. he likes you.”

which isn't a lie

like you guys have a drill and jeongguk is like “whenever someone is on you, make sure you use your body to block them out. use your body to protect the ball.”

and he's like wow time to demonstrate this,,,,

hoseok shoves you forward and jeongguk gets so red and he just stares at you dumbly before he just kinda “you good sure it?”

and you're like haha sure how bad can it be

well kids lemme tell you

it's bad

like i remember playing and my ass was all up on someone as i was trying to shove them away with my rear?? i was good at it though because i'm extra aggressive tbh yikes like imagine yoongi and namjoon goofing off though

anyway jeongguk keeps the ball at his feet and he gives you this smirk like come and get it

you're like um !!

because like he's basically

and you're !!!

because muscles oh yIKES

you kinda go up to him and try to kick the ball out from between his legs but that doesn't work

you don't wanna get up on him though yikes

so you kinda try again and he rolls his eyes!!

he turns to face you but jimin kicks a ball at his feet and jeongguk trips and both of you go toppling down

can you tell i live for this cliche

everyone, even the older people, ooh and ahh and hoseok and jimin are holding each other and squealing

jeongguk stares at you with wide eyes and god the first time since you've met him, he looks nervous??

he quickly pushes away from you and you're like omG OMG OMG

ready to die

jeongguk calls a water break and everyone starts giggling like kids

he helps you up and he refuses to make eye contact and he just kinda looks down as you dust yourself off

he won't look at you for the rest of practice

yikes !!

okay but imagining picking out jerseys !!

it's wild because everyone has their lucky numbers (jeongguk’s is thirteen)

and everyone is squabbling over what they want and jeongguk grabs one and tosses it at you

your brows furrow in confusion and you kinda

you unfold it though and it's, believe it or not, number one

he kinda brushes by you and leans close for just enough time to whisper “because you're my number one”

and you are!!

you do end up playing defense, and you play sweeper, which is the defender closest to the goalie when you're playing a diamond defense

so basically you're the last line of defense before jeongguk and at first you're like shouldn't we put someone,,, good here??

and jeongguk gets all offended like are you questioning my judgment as coach do you want to run laps or something

but you guys have a really good dynamic!!

like he knows when to let you do your own thing but he also feels comfortable in asking you to either go and attack or let him get it

you two always chat when the ball is down at the other end of the field!!

probably flirt more than anything and the other defenders just gag especially namjoon and yoongi

okay but

your team is amazing?? like probably the best in the young adult league?? you guys are on the way to win the championship

which is wild for jeongguk because he's a super competitive person so he's like yes time to gO

worst part of the season because jeongguk thinks in order to win it's time to push yourself past your limits?? is like practice even practice anymore?? nah you just run for years on end

in games leading up to the tournament he gets a lot more controlling with plays and he's a little high strung during games??

okay but it's your last game before playoffs

and you're playing your rival team so everyone is already on edge!!

even you because jeongguk is so stressed he looks like he's about to pull out his hair and you just wanna kiss his face and make it better

but nah, you just chew your lip and stare and jimin and tae tease you for your crush

okay but this team

this team plays dirty

like tripping and pulling jerseys and shoving and it's always a mess when you play them

refs usually call things but today NOTHING is being called and jin is already nursing three minor wounds from the sidelines

okay heads up jeongguk's rival is on this team and it's this haughty butt cheek person who always tries to score on him and thinks they're the shit but really aren't and isn't actually as good a player as everyone builds them up to be anywAY

you're always saving the ball before it even gets to jeongguk and people are getting annoyed with that

really annoyed

second half has just started and you're going to block the ball when jeongguk’s rival comes up and rams you to the ground

you can't stop yourself from hitting the ground, hard

everything goes black and you feel like you're nonexistent for a few seconds and you can't tell if your eyes are opened or closed?? nothing makes sense and you can't make anything out at all

somewhere in the background you can hear cursing and yelling but you're just laying there, senseless

jeongguk loses it okay, downright loses it

his rival can trash him, and trash his team, and be a prideful can of anchovies, but they are not allowed to ever lay a hand on you

he runs up to the kid and he grabs the guy by the collar and he's like “man what the hell are you thinking?!”

and the kid just smirks and shrugs and jeongguk loses it and socks the kid in the nose

hell breaks lose

everyone is screaming and chasing each other around and jumping on each other's back

jeongguk hurries over to you and picks you up in his arms and he carries you over to jin who immediately starts to go through concussion protocol

you three sit there and watch as hoseok tackles someone to the floor and as tae starts a screaming contest with someone else

jeongguk is so so so worried he's asking jin if you're gonna make it and jin is like,,,, honey they're awake,,,

you laugh but then wince because yes your head does hurt, very badly

jeongguk hands you his water bottle and forces you to drink because it's supposed to help

he then lets you rest your head in his lap as the brawl continues

you guys get kicked out of the tournament

that's okay though

you guys have your own scrimmage to celebrate the end of the season

your head is better by then

the scrimmage is wild and jeongguk cheats by picking you up and carrying you off to the sidelines whenever you dribble and try to score on him

the night ends with the shoot off,,,

you and yoongi are the only two left believe it or not and yoongi misses on purpose,,,

competitive jeongguk won't lose no matter who it is though,,,

you poise yourself to shoot and jeongguk smirks and you're like wow lover boy!!!

you aim and fire but before he can block it, jimin and hoseok pull him off to the side so you do make the goal!!

and everyone is screaming and cheering because wow jeongguk has been defeated!!

he kinda stares at you in shock before running over and pulling you into his arms

“instead of candy how about i take you on a date huh?”

you laugh and nod “hershey kisses sound nice too though…”

his eyebrows shoot up and he kinda !! before leaning down and kissing your lips very softly

the end i love my son

[mimosajones-blog]

True Life: I’m a Life Hacker

You ever sit and wonder where the hell your life is going? I’ve been wondering for the past couple of years, and even though I feel like I’m closer to figuring it out, I can’t help but feel like I’m behind every one else. I look at so many of my friends moving forward with their lives. Moving on to bigger jobs, building families, falling in love, yet I’m still trying to figure out where I’m supposed to start.

I know you aren’t supposed to compare other people’s journeys to yours because everyone’s journey is different, but it’s a little hard to do that when you feel like your life is moving as slow as molasses (yes, I know my country is showing). Once you hit your 20s and graduate college, it’s hard not to find yourself in a weird position. Your mind is always on the future and how far you are from the goals you have set for yourself, but I guess that’s part of the problem: Your mindset.

With all of this being said, here are my 5 tips to Adulting & life in general:

1. Patience is key

2. Take it one step at a time

3. Look at the growth in others around you as motivation and not a negative

4. Stop worrying about how far you are from your ultimate goal and focus more on the goals that you are setting and achieving on a daily basis

5. Breathe

I know we all heard our parents tell us repeatedly growing up that we have to have patience. Back then our whole attitude was: “You better stfu with all this patience shit & give me my damn ice cream”, but now, as an adult, I understand why patience is a virtue. Having the ability to wait patiently for things without becoming angry helps decrease your stress level and allows you to be more observant. Although you can’t just snap your fingers and have patience, it’s important to work on it on a daily basis. Impatience makes you angry and eventually causes you to be way more stressed out then you need to be. Everything in life comes when, where, how, and why it’s supposed to so growing angry because something doesn’t show up when, where, how, and why you want it does nothing for the situation but stress you and those around you. It’s like I tell my friends, your constant worrying about something, does not solve the issue. While you’re worrying, the problem is still unsolved, so why worry?

Once you’ve grown some patience, it’s easier to take life one step at a time. Too many times, we’ve put entirely too much on our plate and wondered why everything was falling apart. How can you expect to finish a house if you stop working on it to start another? We let people tell us that we’re “getting old” when we hit our 20s & for some reason we actually believe that shit. True, we’re getting older, but people, we are NOT old. We are in our prime & it’s only up from here! Stop telling yourself that everything has to happen right now or you won’t make it. That’s not how life works. The most successful people in the world did not become successful over night, so why do you think you should? One step at a time. I promise if you do that, life will go so much smoother. Think about it, when have you done your best work? When you’ve focused and put your passion into one thing or when you tried to do multiple big things at once?

I absolutely LOVE to see my friends prosper. It really gives me hope! I look at them doing big things and it motivates me to do better. This has always been my outlook with my friends and if you can’t look at it like this, you may have some internal battles to conquer. For example, I have these 3 friends, Ciara, Tonya, and Windy (for the purpose of this blog, I have renamed them. Two are recurring friends, heyyy tonya & windy girrrrl). These 3 women had a MAJOR impact on the woman I am today not only because of the women they are, but also because I’ve known them for a great deal of my life (One since I was 5, another since high school, and the other is my sorority sister/middle school friend) so habits and characteristics tend to rub off when you spend a lot of time with someone. I learned confidence, commitment, and living unbothered from them, but one of the most important things I learned from them was how friends are supposed to push each other to do better. Even down to outfits, we always held each other to a standard & even now, when I see them prospering, it pushes me to keep up! Don’t always see others prosper and think you’re doing something wrong. Look at their wins as motivation and confirmation that you can prosper too!

Which leads me to my next point. You CAN prosper too. Remember that. Hold on to it and never forget it. Just because your big goals seem far away doesn’t mean you’ll never reach them. On a daily basis, someone who is working hard and passionately for what they love is always achieving small goals towards their bigger ones, but for some reason, we don’t know how to congratulate ourselves on that. I’m not saying settle for small wins, but I am saying acknowledge the hard work you’ve put in to get yourself to where you are. Stop beating yourself up because you aren’t where you want to be right now. Negativity does nothing but stunt your growth, so focus on the positive outlook on your situation. I’m currently working 3 jobs. It’s all a part of my plan to success. Do I like the shit? No, however, I need money to do what I really want to do with my life, so I can forfeit a little time to make this money. Instead of focusing on the time I’m having to give to these jobs, I choose to focus on the fact that I was even able to get these 3 jobs and how much I’m going to be able to do with the money I get from these jobs. Watch me work, people.

Lastly, breathe. I know that’s probably the most simple tip here, but you’d be surprised how many people forget to do it on a daily basis. & no, I don’t mean your normal, everyday pulmonary ventilation. I mean stop everything and give yourself a second to breathe. Take in everything around you. Nature, people, life. Ignore your thoughts and just be in the moment. Take time out for yourself to do what you love to do and not just what you have to do. I promise you’ll be a much more sane person and your body will love you for the decrease in stress.

We’re all in the same boat. We’re trying to figure out life and the recipe for success, but never forget that everyone’s journey is different. Don’t beat yourself up for not being a billionaire by the age of 23 cause you still have time and life is going to happen how it’s supposed to happen regardless of what you do.

Unapologetically,

Jones

[proudsmartass-blog1]

I’m a Fraud, Trust Me!

I receive pretty regular messages from people on all platforms of social media that I can be found on (and some that I’ve either forgotten about or swear I signed up for in an Ambien Walrus-stupor), asking me how I can still find humor in everything with losing both parents, how do I cope with the grief, how do I cope with body dysmorphic disorder, have I beaten it? Etc. 

I’ve nothing to hide, and I don’t mind answering and sharing. I reach out randomly to others as well if I respect and admire the stuff that they’re saying. Sometimes they answer, sometimes they don’t and I’m convinced they think I’m a psychopath and I want to curl up in a corner and hide from the embarrassment that is Sam (when in reality they probably just didn’t know how to answer, didn’t have the time, perhaps just felt a bit put off by speaking with someone they don’t know personally...virtually anything but what’s running through my head most likely!).

So, first off...when I receive these messages, I feel the need to stress that I’ve not figured anything out! I feel like a fraud, giving out advice, because I don’t know whether I’m coming or going half of the time.  I know enough to know that I know NOTHING.

On Having Lost Both Parents

I’m still not healed from this, and I don’t know if there is such a thing as “healing” from it.  I walk around feeling quite lost and displaced, and feel like my life has lost its place for me.  I often feel this sense of homesickness that I can’t describe; that I want to go home, but I’ve no home to go to anymore.  I have no idea what direction I’m supposed to take in my life.  I still go to call my mother, at times, and she’s been gone for a year now.  I lost my father when I was a teenager, and never really had the chance to know him. I feel that parts of my personality now may have come from him, so that might be a way of knowing him in a sense.

I question everything that I do, every decision I make, and it absolutely sucks to not have anyone to check in with when I really need to talk about something. I have amazing friends that I’m thankful for and do not take for granted, but it’s just not the same.  I miss talking about my day. I miss being someone’s daughter.   

I haven’t been able to sleep since my mother’s death, and have horribly vivid nightmares when I do sleep.  I’ve started randomly flashing back to small snippets of memories in the hospital via smells, items, sounds that I’d forgotten...really bizarre things that have no significance.  A few friends have suggested that I may have PTSD.  They’re probably right. 

Something that no one prepared me for...when people offered to be there for me when I needed them, they didn’t know that they didn’t really mean it. They didn’t know that they were not capable of holding up to that promise.  This is not to say that their offer did not come from the heart, but I now understand how completely frightening my reality can be for someone who hasn’t gone through this yet.  Seeing my pain and what I’m experiencing is a horrifying reminder that it can happen to them, and they’d start to cry at the thought of losing their loved ones.  They hadn’t even lost their loved ones, but I, who HAD lost my parents, ended up comforting THEM, who were able to go home and hug their loved ones and have dinner with them, etc.  So I learned to just say “I’m fine,” whenever asked if I need to talk.  I could be having THE worst day ever...”Sure, I’m fine.”

On Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Where do I even begin? Sigh....

I don’t know how this even came to be.  I just remember always having it.  There was always something not right about what I saw in the mirror and in photos. I looked deformed.  My body was a strange shape. I was overweight (I wasn’t at that time).  My eyes and nose looked like they were not formed correctly. My reflection looked like I was gazing into a fun house mirror.  I often self-harmed to try and cut the ugliness out of myself, or to achieve the feeling of having a good cry when I was too numb to actually produce tears. 

Then I started gaining weight, and it didn’t make sense. I exercised, dieted, took diet pills, starved myself, made myself throw up after eating. I look back at photos of myself now and see there was absolutely nothing wrong with me! But the weight gain was due to a dysfunctional thyroid (hypothyroidism, which I call hippo-thyroidism because :/ ), which I still deal with. The medication I take for it, which brings my TSH levels down to where they’re supposed to be, ironically contributes to the weight gain, so I don’t take it regularly as I’m supposed to.  It’s kind of a cruel joke, actually.  If you look at me, you’d never think that I haven’t eaten in two days :/ I still struggle with my weight, and will always look like I could stand to lose 10-15lbs, no matter how I work out or how unforgivably mean I can be to myself when it comes to food/eating/restriction/purging. 

I was diagnosed with BDD in my very early teens, but gave up on psychology after three therapists didn’t make a dent. I toy with the idea of trying again, but I’m skeptical.  Plus, my copayments per session are not cheap.  And I’m not down with psyche meds for myself, personally.  I saw them destroy my mother’s body and I just feel they’re not worth it (again, for myself...I’ve seen them change lives for others, and I think that’s amazing!)

Here’s where it gets weird, though.  I spent my entire life up to last year battling the grotesque monster I saw in my reflection, trying to get a handle on myself and my anxiety over eating and gaining weight.  I actually was doing really well. I was going to the gym regularly, eating pretty healthy, not drinking, doing well with not eating junk food, and I could actually stand looking at myself in the mirror and having my photo taken.  I lost my mother, and with her unexpected death I felt like I’d unexpectedly died as well.  Nothing was recognizable anymore. I couldn’t process thoughts or emotions and just binged on booze for a month. I couldn’t eat food. I felt like I had lost all fight for my life. The only thing that was familiar was the monster in the mirror. Suddenly, it wasn’t the enemy anymore. I sort of felt like I just let it become me, like the two became one, and let it live for me until I was ready to slip back into my life once more...and I’ve been living that way since (which I realise is by no means healthy). 

As of right now, I cannot look in the mirror.  The reflection frightens me. I don’t recognise her. I hate her sometimes because I feel like she is a lie. And this isn’t even focusing on the flaws!  I REFUSE to be in photos.  I see myself as 50+lbs heavier than I actually am.  I have anxiety attacks when it comes to eating and go up to three days without food sometimes.  I’ll eat when I feel shooting pains in my gut (but then I’ll have ‘fuck it!’ days and enjoy two healthy meals, which is huge for me).  I make a point of not looking into full-length mirrors. They’re not worth the anxiety attacks. 

The best part? Next to no one knows that I suffer from this. I only bring it up if someone repeatedly offers me food and it becomes obvious that I keep declining. I’d rather be someone with food baggage than a dick to someone I care about!

On Dealing with This Clusterfuckerry

1. I do make a point of trying to laugh at myself/my circumstances as often as I can manage.  If I can find the humour in my circumstances and myself, I feel like I’m taking the power back. That perhaps it’s not so big and bad and  horrific, after all (bullsh!t...yes it is, but this little mind game that I play with myself works from time to time).  Also, I make jokes at myself before anyone else gets the chance to.  I’m taking that opportunity away from others, and showing that they have nothing on me/no power over me (a self-deprecating defense mechanism, of sorts).  As Carrie Fisher said, “If my life wasn’t funny, then it would just be true. And that is unacceptable!”

2. Friends (the people, not the TV show...although the TV show is pretty cool, too!)  With the exception of making them cry and having to comfort them when I talk about coping with being lost and not having parents, I have some pretty bomb-@ss people in my life. They’ve kept me rooted in reality, let me be an annoying emo wreck when I need to and love me anyway, indulged me in beautifully soulful conversations (sometimes at ungodly hours, without murdering me...thanks guys! :),  and reciprocate my snark in impressive fashion. I was dreading my birthday this week, but they went above and beyond to make sure I smiled and even nailed it with gifts that I said I didn’t want (a Sad Ghost Club ‘Still Sad’ hat (excellent website with cute stuff, by the way!), cologne and perfume for each of my moods/sides, and enough drinking chocolate for the year).   If I didn’t have them checking in on me regularly, I might not be here typing this right now. Seriously, they help me more than they’ll ever know!

3. I think it’s natural to compare ourselves to others, but I’m making an active effort to do this less. I’ll never be a ‘typical’ woman (see Gender post, if you haven’t reached “STFU, Sam!” level yet), I’ll never be the tall skinny-minnie type that I wish I could be.  And I think I’d be bored, quite honestly, if I were.  Deep down, I think(?) I like myself. 

I also make an active effort to compliment at least three random strangers daily.  People can be skeptical or sleazy, unfortunately (New York, what a town!), but for the most part the compliments are received well.  If I can make someone feel good about themselves, even for just a moment, I feel happy.  They feel happy.  We all win. 

So there it is...way too much info about me, how I deal with this nonsense, etc.  Whenever I get a “how do you deal...” message, I’ll direct people to this post!