#promise I’m not trying to vague anyone and I mean
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I’ve seen multiple times disliking scary being compared to misogyny and I don’t know how to express the fact that disliking a character who intentionally betrays her friends multiple times, belittles other people’s problems, who’s biggest struggle has been her mom finding a loving husband, who acts like that’s the most traumatizing thing that’s happened to anybody in the party, is perfectly reasonable.
Scary is being groomed and I understand that manipulation, I think it’s awesome storytelling. A really good chance for character growth. But she also read the journal with everybody else. She’s seen how her friends react. She intentionally HID who she was calling from her friends because she KNEW they’d disagree fundamentally. And as a woman who is a big woman fan, I think it’s important to have women who suck in media! And Scary sucks lmao.
That doesn’t even mean I don’t like her being in the show- I think she brings a lot to it and when I separate her from how she’s been acting? I love her and the party together I think they’re amazing. But I. Think we need to remember if someone doesn’t like our fav and talks about it, it doesn’t need to be horrible. We can just disagree. You can support women’s wrongs, I hope u do! Some people don’t <3
#this isn’t at anyone I’ve genuinely seen a few people do this and I didn’t wanna reblog someone’s post to shove my opinion into theirs#and look like I’m pickin a fight with anyone#I wanted the space to express this#promise I’m not trying to vague anyone and I mean#my opinion isn’t dnd all yk#I swear I actually like scary but just not in the podcast lmao#I love her dynamic with the group she’s chill#she’s just also making me scream sometimes#dndads#dungeons and daddies#dndads s2#dndads spoilers#dndads negativity#scary negativity#dungeons and daddies negativity#dndads discourse#grooming ment#grooming mention#grooming ment tw#grooming cw#grooming tw
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number 13 💚 for landoscar!! thank you 🫶🏻
thank you for requesting!🫶🏽
13. “Oh, so they are just a friend, right? That’s what you’re telling me?”
.
You and Lando were doing your best to keep your thoughts to yourself, but it was hard to do when both of you wore your hearts on your sleeves.
And your emotions very clearly across your face.
Being a little bit younger meant that Oscar was amongst a different group of drivers and colleagues in his younger years, in Formula Two and Formula Three. He had previous teammates he still kept in contact with, old friends from Australia that he made an effort to always catch up with. Oscar had a whole life outside of you both, and you knew that.
It was different compared to you and Lando, whose lives are so intertwined and connected that there were rarely strangers in each other’s lives.
But that is exactly what it was like with Oscar.
And it was never a problem, not really. You and Lando loved meeting people that played such big parts in Oscar’s life, people that were important to him, people that he wanted to share with you two. It was a pivotal part of the relationship between the three of you and it was hard not to find it endearing.
Except, you were pretty fucking sure this old friend of Oscar’s was in love with him and it felt like a bitter slap in the face to watch him shamelessly flirt away with your boyfriend in front of you both.
“He’s not even trying to hide it,” Lando grumbled as the two of you stuck to his side of the garage, watching Oscar and his old friend chat away on the other side. “He’s acting like Osc is fucking single and free reign from him.”
“Maybe we are overthinking it,” you supplied, but it sounded weak even to your own ears.
Lando shot you a look. “If Oscar gave him the green light, they’d be shagging in front of everyone.”
You rolled your eyes. “Now that is a bit dramatic.”
“Still,” Lando huffed, his lips turning downwards. “I don’t like him.”
“Neither do I,” you murmured, leaning against your boyfriend’s arm and squishing your cheek against his shoulder. “At least he is only here for the weekend.”
Lando’s nose scrunched up. “Still too long.”
“Too long for what?” Oscar asked, suddenly appearing beside you both with a soft smile on his face.
Your cheeks burned but you didn’t glance at Lando as you replied. “Nothing, just some game he’s excited to play with Max.”
Oscar’s brows raised in interest. “Yeah? What game?”
“One you’ve never heard of,” Lando quickly scrambled out before changing the subject. “So, where’s Harry?”
“Uh,” Oscar gave you both a weird look but replied nonetheless. “He went to the bathroom. What do you two think of him?”
“He’s nice,” you replied vaguely.
Oscar frowned a little. “You don’t like him?”
“No, no,” you quickly reassured the boy. “He does seem really nice.”
“Would be much nicer if he wasn’t trying to shag you though,” Lando grumbled under his breath, but Oscar heard him well enough.
Oscar snorted, looking a little confused. “Harry? With me? Not a chance, he’s my friend.”
“Oh, so they are just a friend, right? That’s what you’re telling me?” Lando bit out, the jealousy loud and clear to your boyfriend now. “So the blatant staring and giggling and constantly touching you means nothing?”
And if it were anyone else, they would have gotten defensive. Or angry. Or just as snappy back. But this was Oscar and that wasn’t how he was. And that was not how he dealt with Lando either.
Instead, the boy stepped forward and took Lando’s face in his hands, watching as the boy sunk into the touch. “He’s just a friend,” Oscar murmured. “And even if Harry did feel that way about me, I wouldn’t care. Because I have you two and that’s more than enough for me.”
Lando sniffled a little. “Promise?”
“Promise, baby,” Oscar grinend, leaning in to kiss him and doing the same with you before he pulled away. “I’m your boyfriend, not his.”
Lando puffed his chest out a little. “Damn right you are, Osc.”
.
#cece's cocktail celebration#landoscar#lando norris#oscar piastri#formula one#f1#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris fic#lando norris one shot#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri x y/n#oscar piastri fic#oscar piastri one shot#formula one x reader#formula one x you#formula one x y/n#formula one fic#formula one one shot#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 x y/n#f1 fic#f1 one shot
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Takashi Morinozuka x fem reader -> crush/early dating stage head-canons (sfw)
honestly, i fuckn hate hcs, but i’m gonna put them out there anyway, since mine are simply better cuz i said so
- Takashi isn’t the type of guy to just go up to a girl and ask her out because he thinks she’s cute or anything, so you would 100% have to start off as friends before he made a move (and even then, you’d probably be waiting a while)
- Probably would not initiate a conversation with you on his own (shocking)
- I could see Honey noticing Takashi’s special interest in a girl and deciding to talk to her, and maybe even invite her to the club
- If he did this with Takashi present, he’d be super nervous but secretly grateful that his cousin set him up, cuz lord knows it wouldn’t have happened otherwise
- Once Honey had Takashi’s crush engaged in a conversation, he’d start trying to, not so subtly, gauge whether or not she’s a good fit for Takashi
- If Honey doesn’t like you, then you don’t get to be with Takashi, period.
- If anyone asks at any point during your friendship if Takashi has feelings for you, he’ll either outright deny it or just stay silent, even though it’d be super obvious to anyone who knows him to any capacity
- He would be more engaged in conversations with you than anyone else, MAYBE aside from Honey
- He’d help with anything he thought you may be struggling with (you don’t even have to ask)
- Need help finding something? He’s got you. Pickle jar too hard to open? No problem. Can’t reach something on a high shelf? Well, thank god a certain giant has nothing better to do (he was just admiring you anyway)
- Once the club catches on, any possible privacy the two of you had is gone. Especially if they can tell the feelings are reciprocated
- Tamaki, the twins, and Honey would all try to get the both of you into situations where you’d be alone together, or they’d talk about how cute you would be together, or how cute your kids would be, etc.
- Even before a relationship begins, Takashi will think it’s disloyal or unfaithful to interact flirt with any other girls, so he would be extra quiet during club hours (unless you’re there 🥰)
- Speaking of relationships, when Takashi does finally ask you out, expect it to be a simple question, such as: “Would you like to get coffee with me tomorrow?” or something similar. He’d probably do so when you two are completely alone (mostly so the other club members don’t try to trail you on your date)
- If the date went well, and he felt like you were interested afterwards, that’s when he’d ask you to be his girlfriend.
- The poor guy’s heart would be pounding out of his chest and he’d be blushing like crazy, which would only get worse when if you said yes
- Once you’re official, any reservations he previously had regarding closeness are gone. He wants to hold your hand and just be near you all the time
- He’s not into the PDA shit, though. It’s not like he’d pull you into a make out sesh in public, but he does like to be near you at all times
- Honey absolutely loves that Takashi found someone he truly cares for, especially since he thinks you’re fun to be around, so he and Takashi can still be close as ever
- The other members (mainly Tamaki) are ecstatic about the relationship as well
- Seeing their normally stoic friend all head over heals for you is just too sweet
- Once you start dating, it isn’t long before he wants you over to meet his parents and vice versa
- He doesn’t even see it as a huge step or anything. I mean, of course he wants his family to meet his darling partner
———————————————————————
Alright, I’m gonna call this a part one, and basically just write others to be more tailored to a reader with specific personality traits, cuz writing so vaguely is driving me insane.
(I have no writing experience, but I promise I’ll try harder next time, so hopefully they’ll get better after this 😭)
If there’s anything specific you want to see, feel free to request headcanons or fics for Takashi (or any of the other characters for that matter), as that’ll make it way easier to write something worthwhile lmao
#takashi morinozuka#takashi morinozuka x reader#ohshc#ouran high school host club#mori senpai#ohshc mori#headcanon#my hcs#romance#dating#anime and manga
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To the beautiful person who left me this anon ask:
hi ria! I know you normally write femreader as girly or with a more feminine energy. But wdyt of John Price whose s/o is self conscious because she’s not as girly as the ladies who undoubtedly always surround him and maybe have made her he can do better than her ((totally not projecting lolz))
i’m so sorry i accidentally deleted your ask, but luckily I managed to copy it before! I really hope this finds you angel..♡
warnings: self depreciation, afab!reader x John Price, this one’s actually kinda sad guys sorry (happy ending though, i promise!!).
John Price had always been the kind of man who carried himself with a quiet confidence, commanding respect in every room he walked into. It wasn’t just his rugged good looks or the way he carried the weight of his responsibilities with ease — it was his unwavering calm, the type of presence that made you feel like the world could crumble, but he’d hold it together for you. He’d do anything for you.
You didn’t feel like you belonged in his orbit. You didn’t even feel like you belonged in the same room.
Not when he could have his pick of anyone. And not when the effortlessly gorgeous women you saw at his work functions or in photographs seemed to orbit him naturally.
They didn’t mean to make you feel small of course, but sometimes, they didn’t need to. Backhanded comments like, “Oh, she’s not quite what I expected for John,” or those lingering glances they shared when they thought you weren’t looking, planted seeds of doubt that grew roots in your chest. It hurt you more than you liked to admit.
You weren’t as polished, as composed, as these women. It wasn’t that you didn’t try… no, you just didn’t feel like you when you did. Dresses made you feel exposed. Heels left your feet aching. Even makeup was a practice you rarely indulged in because it didn’t feel worth the time or effort considering the little time you actually spent out.
And yet, John had still chosen you.
You were sitting on the couch with your knees pulled up, thumbing through your phone absentmindedly when John walked in. His heavy boots on the hardwood floor were a sound you’d grown to love, a comfort of such.
“Alright, love?” he asked, his voice low.
You nodded quickly, plastering on a smile. “Yeah, fine.”
But John was too observant for his own good. He was extremely perceptive, his time in the force had made him a great reader of expressions. He tilted his head, scanning your face as he set his keys on the counter.
“Hmm,” he hummed, his tone laced with doubt.
You looked away, shrugging. “Just tired, s’all.”
“Not buying it.” He waited intently on your reply.
You hesitated. “It’s nothing, really.”
“Darlin’.” That single word was a command. You knew he was being serious.
You sighed, your voice wavering, threatening to crack despite your attempt to sound indifferent. “Do you ever… I dunno. Do you ever wish I were more like the women you’re surrounded by?”
His brow furrowed. “What women?”
“The ones at those events,” you muttered, gesturing vaguely. “They’re all so put together, and I’m-” You laughed bitterly. “Not.”
John leaned back slightly, his hand finding your thigh and gently resting there. He regarded you for a long moment, his eyes steady. “Who’s been telling you all this?”
“No one,” you said quickly. “I just… I feel like they’re right sometimes. You could do better than me.”
The silence that followed felt heavy, but not uncomfortable. John’s grip on your thigh tightened slightly before he pulled you into his side, wrapping his arm around your shoulders.
“Do you know why I chose you?” he asked quietly.
Your throat tightened painfully. “Because I was there?”
He let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head. “Because you’re real. Because you’re you. Because I don’t need anything like those women you were talking about, don’t want them, either.”
“But- ”
“No ‘buts’.” His tone was firm now, the kind that silenced any argument before it began. “I don’t care about anyone else. Those women you’re talkin’ about? All worthless, the lot of ‘em.”
You felt the unavoidable prick of tears in your eyes. “You really mean that?”
John turned slightly, tilting your chin up to meet his gaze. “You think I’d lie to you about something like that?” He kissed your lips gently, lingering there for a while.
“You’re enough for me, angel. More than enough.”
For the first time in what felt like months, you finally believed him.
I really hope this finds the right person. What a gorgeous request! Give me sweet John Price immediately. ˖⋆࿐໋
#captain john price#*๑♡՞ { 🌙 }#tf 141#babylove#coquette#i'm sad#anon ask#self love#john price#price x reader#price cod#captain price#vanillarosekiss
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SWEET JUICE - s.mingi (18+)
➼ genre; fantasy, smut ➼ pairing; mingi x fem!reader ➼ au; strangers to lovers, magic au, witches/warlocks au ➼ warnings; explicit smut ➼ rating; m/18+ ➼ wc; 10.7k
the new apothecary in your small village is harboring a dark secret, you're certain of it, if only because he bears a starkly familiar crest on his shop sign - one that denotes the presence of magic.
part of the ...and it's snowing collab.
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➼ smut warnings; sex toys, unprotected sex, comeshots, begging, fingering, multiple orgasms, size kink, hand kink, mention of belly bulging, dacryphilia
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Normally, you aren’t one to be so deeply entrenched in the petty gossip going around town, especially when newcomers are not exactly scarce in these parts. This one in particular — the young man who moved here by himself and immediately set up an apothecary shop in the heart of the village — has been on the lips of almost everyone you’ve bumped into for the past week. Ever since the Summer’s End Festival, it seems all your neighbors can think to talk about is this mysterious lone wolf. Unfortunately for you, that means your interest has been piqued both out of nosiness and out of a potential opportunity.
“You said he’s nice?”
“Yeah! I mean, I didn’t meet him personally. I was busy running the stall while Yunho was doing all the socializing, but Gerda came over and she said he’s a rather nice and charming young man.”
You appraise the man across the counter with a far less enthused grin. It doesn’t deter Seonghwa from his egregious nods of encouragement, however. So, you continue to pack away the little bundles of herbs that you’ve been preparing all morning into the man’s satchel.
“She says that about everyone under the age of fifty. I think it’s her duty as an old woman to say that. What did Yunho say about him?”
“Hm, what did Yunho say about him…” Seonghwa brings a neatly manicured nail to his chin as he mulls over your question. You snap the buckle of his bag into its proper place now that you’ve given him all you need to and set your hands down on the counter. “He was fairly charmed too, I believe. I mean, in terms of the guy’s personality. You know his gaze goes in one single direction for all other aspects of things.” He flattens his palm against his cheek and doesn’t even bother to hide the smugness that creeps over his expression.
“Don’t get cocky now,” you cut in before Seonghwa can redirect the conversation towards himself.
“Is it being cocky if I’m just repeating what he says all the time though? Oh my Seonghwa, you’re so pretty, the only man I could ever look at, I never grow weary of seeing your darling face. It’s truly romance at its finest.”
“Back to the new guy, Hwa.”
“Hmph. You’re more interested in him than you were in me when I first moved here!”
“You didn’t run a shop when you first got here. Otherwise, I would’ve been just as eager, promise.” Seonghwa narrows his eyes at you, lips drawing into what must be an attempt at a frown but it’s so half-hearted and soft around the edges that you can’t be sure. “I’m trying to establish a financially beneficial supply line with this guy. Thus, I need to know what he’s like so that I know how much bargaining I ought to prepare for before going to speak with him.”
“He’s nice, not much of a talker from what I could tell watching him from a distance, and he mostly stuck near the bonfire. Though it was still damp from the rain earlier that day, and autumn was already sending in her cooler breezes. Anyone who hasn’t acclimated to our lovely finicky weather acts like that when they first arrive here. Spoke to everyone who approached him. Talks with his hands a lot. Very—” Seonghwa makes a few vague gestures consisting of him just waving his hands in the air a bit “—big. Not quite taller than Yunho, but broader and like… meatier, I suppose. I wonder if I should give Yunho bigger meal portions actually, he might need it. Really, how does he stay so skinny even doing all the heavy lifting around the house? Do you have any herbs good for muscle growth?”
“Alright, I’ve had enough of you, that’s it.” Seonghwa’s protest comes immediately. “No, because last time you did this, you started asking me about concoctions to make his semen taste better, and that is not a conversation we’re going to be repeating!” He grabs his satchel off the counter as you hop up from your stool, though he still tries to appear very upset over the matter while pulling it over his head.
“Well, tell me when you’re planning on going over there at least. I can give you a meal before you go home since it’s a bit of a trek to get back here.”
“I’ll go tomorrow. There’s still some inventory left over from the summer that I need to sort out. And I need to prepare some decor for the Autumn Festival sooner rather than later. Ugh, I got so behind on my work it’s infuriating.” You’ve been slacking a little more than you usually do this past week on account of being bedridden for five days straight. You thought you were going to avoid getting sick at the end of summer for once, but your body had other plans for you and decided to push it into the start of the fall season instead. That’s the only reason you need this information about the newcomer from Seonghwa so desperately: otherwise, you would have been at that very festival and been able to witness the man for yourself.
“Oh, speaking of, everyone missed you last week! And told me to send you well wishes, which are obviously not needed anymore, but the sentiment is the same nonetheless, no?”
You send Seonghwa off with a few extra herbs pressed into his hands and wishes for safe travels. It ought to only take him fifteen minutes to walk back to town, but he came by rather late and the sun is already setting so you don’t want him to get caught alone in the dark on his way. He is kind enough to allow your nagging, only pinching your cheek when you tell him once more to quit asking about recipes and herbs to use on Yunho’s dick.
Once you’re content seeing him reach the end of your garden path, you flick your wrist in the direction of your crops. The drizzle that suddenly starts falling from the sky is light enough to not be much of a hindrance to Seonghwa, though you’ll be certain to bring down some heavier rainfall after he disappears over the edge of the hill. Though your closest friend in the village, you still haven’t had the heart to tell him what exactly brought you to this remote place or what you were running from when you came. He only knows that you came here nearly eight years ago on your own and with nothing to your name, and by the time he and Yunho came along, you were already three years into building your business of selling herbs year-round.
In truth, your witchcraft is not illegal by the nature of it being magick. Rather, you yourself are the problem being a witch in name instead of the formally accepted term warlock. Should anyone with any sort of agenda against you discover that you are a defector using your magick when you are no longer a practicing warlock, then you would likely lose everything you have here in this place. It took you two years just to find a town secure and remote enough for you to feel comfortable living in, and eight more to reach this point of stability. You don’t consider Seonghwa to be someone driven by monetary promise or swayed by others’ opinions, but there is just enough doubt that’s crept into your heart over the years to keep you silent.
“How depressing,” you mutter, turning back to your cottage and heading inside. You make the rain fall just a little harder to go along with your sudden decline in mood.
…
Perhaps, you think, there is some goddess out there who is keen on causing you inordinate levels of distress. Because although today was supposed to be nothing more than a calm and friendly meeting in the hopes of establishing a business partnership, you cannot push yourself to even approach the door to the new apothecary. The name of the shop is insignificant on its own — Mortar and Cauldron — and you wouldn’t think twice about getting up from this cursed bench you now find yourself on if that was all there was to it. Yet for some godforsaken reason, this man has deigned to put a symbol behind the name, one that mimics one of the crests belonging to the House of Ballads (the very one you defected from a decade ago). Some deity must surely be playing a sick prank on you.
There are a few routes you could take in this situation. You could pretend you never came and forget the idea of creating a supply line, missing out on some revenue sure but it’s not like you wouldn’t be able to make up for it in other areas. You could go in and confront the newcomer, demanding to know who he is and what he’s doing here on the off chance that he’s truly some bumbling idiot who has no clue what symbols he’s drawn into his signs. He could very well be a defector himself, you suppose, although it would be suicide to use one of the House’s official crests as one. Or you could simply play the part of the fool yourself, act none the wiser, and pretend to be the normal citizen you are. Even if this man were truly from the House, he would not recognize your face because you were never formally entered into the place. You had been merely part of a small church sect on the outskirts of the capital, far from the House of Ballads and all its operations. The name you held while there has already been burned to ash and nothingness, likely stricken from all their records as well the moment you disappeared. If they wanted you dead — well, they would have had you killed long ago. So, you seem to have your best course of action.
“I know my decor isn’t the most appealing, but I don’t think it warrants such a foul expression.” The voice resonates so close to your ear that you truly feel the vibration in your teeth, but moreso, it startles you out of your skin, and you all but launch yourself off the bench with an embarrassing yelp. Just behind the bench where you were, there stands a man you don’t recognize. Tall, with sharp features and equally piercing dark eyes, and dressed in black from head to toe complete with a scarf draped over his head to mimic the hood of a cloak. It doesn’t fully shroud his borderline psychedelic hair — an unnatural yellow shade that blends into a fiery orange-red and makes his head look more like a torch than anything else. “Hello. Sorry for surprising you like that, it wasn’t my intention to make a first impression in such a way.”
Ah. If not for your racing heart, you would have put two and two together far sooner, because obviously, this would be the mystery owner of the apothecary, considering how you recognize everyone in town.
“Would you like to come in and look around? I was simply across the street to get some bread.” He tilts his head back in the direction of none other than Seonghwa’s shop. One glance at the storefront gives you enough of a clue as to whose fault it is that you’re having this unsavory first encounter because said man is pressed up against the window and staring through it directly at you. You have to fight the urge to scowl at him until after your newcomer steps out of your line of sight. Seonghwa tucks a stray piece of hair behind his ear and sends you a far-too-cheery thumbs-up. You turn away with a less subtle middle finger.
Despite the muggy weather and cooler temperatures, the inside of the apothecary is warm. It almost feels a bit humid thanks to the rain outside, but not unbearably so. And considering how long you were sitting out there getting rained on, you welcome the heat quite a bit.
“You wouldn’t happen to be the friend Seonghwa mentioned, would you?” He catches you with the question as you’re undoing the knot holding your cloak around your shoulders. “I don’t recall seeing you at last week’s festival, though I didn’t have the chance to introduce myself to everyone then.”
“Oh, yes, that would be me. I wasn’t there because I was recovering from a nasty cold. Y/n.” You jut a hand out in his direction, pushing a smile to your lips as you look him in the eye, though thanks to his height, you feel as though you have to crane your neck just to do so.
“Song Mingi. It’s a pleasure to meet you, y/n.” He doesn’t take your hand the way you expect; instead, he pinches the tips of your fingers and bends at the waist, lips grazing your knuckles so softly that you almost don’t feel the contact at all. What’s more startling is how hot his touch is, especially considering how he was just out in the cold. You catch a glimpse of his hand as he’s pulling away, but he’s simply wearing gloves. Knowing Seonghwa, he probably kept the man hostage with conversation for a long time before sending him out to speak with you, and your friend always keeps the house warm because of the ovens, so that’s likely where all the excess heat is coming from. Your staring lingers too long, and Mingi clears his throat quietly, bringing you out of your thoughts.
“Likewise,” you spit out, placing your cloak on the coat rack by the door.
“Were you looking for something in particular, or did you just want to see what sorts of things I have?” Mingi wraps around the back of the shop’s counter, and you take it as an invitation to approach. The glass cabinet serving as the surface is filled with a variety of things both familiar and not. Potions, vials, bundles of powders, and even some gemstones that carry a glow at their centers. The presence of magick here is undeniably strong, and it is not yours alone. There must be dozens of magickal objects here, though the ordinary person wouldn’t sense a thing. You don’t let your gaze linger on any of them for long before pulling focus back up to the man’s face.
“Well, I intended to come introduce myself first since we didn’t have a chance to meet at the festival. But beyond that, I wanted to let you know I grow all sorts of herbs and ingredients in my garden. I supply many of the local shops and stalls, especially during the winter seasons. The ground is particularly fruitful thanks to all the rain we get here.”
“Oh? Yes, I noticed rather quickly that there’s near-constant rainy weather here.” As though on cue, a bout of thunder rumbles in the distance.
“You truly chose a summer lover’s nightmare moving here,” you laugh. “Charybid is always in rainy season.”
Mingi hums and grins a little, looking to the window before saying, “I’m quite alright with it really. The heat of my homeland is far more unbearable in my opinion. You can tell how little I went outside there just based on how pale I am.” He flashes the back of his hand that’s still enveloped by a glove like he wants to prove his point, only to realize his little blunder and fall into a bout of awkward laughter instead. “But you said you’re a supplier? Do you have a local shop as well or…?”
“Local, though not here in the heart of town. If you follow the west road up over the hill, you’ll see a string of cottages. Mine is the one with the big front garden! Oh, and there’s a sign as well, of course.”
“That would be immensely helpful especially since I don’t have much space here to grow my own things. It’s a bit difficult to outsource supplies in this area too, isn’t it?” Mingi glances down at the open notebook sitting on his counter and skims the contents. “Would it be alright if I came by at the end of next week? That way I can finish unpacking and taking stock of everything I have.”
“Yes, that’d work just fine. You can come by any time you need, though I always advise against coming too close to nightfall because walking in the rain at night is an easy way to get sick.” You offer a smile, perhaps a little too pleased with how smoothly your business proposal went, but your enthusiasm seems to be received well given how brightly Mingi smiles in return. The air has begun to get more stifling, and you can feel sweat clinging to the back of your neck. It’s unpleasant now, a kind of warmth you’re not used to experiencing all the time because you don’t keep your home so toasty, but it reminds you of evenings shared with Seonghwa that always end with you wanting to escape out into the rain just for some respite. “I won’t take up more of your time, though. I promised to go see Seonghwa myself once I was finished here. I bid you well.”
“Thank you, and have safe travels home yourself. I look forward to doing business with you, Miss y/n.”
…
You leave your cottage in the wee hours of the morning, intending to water your crops before the sun rises, but those plans are dashed the moment you spot the man waiting outside your fence. You’ve seen him several times since your first meeting, though not here and solely in town. He hasn’t come this far yet despite his insistence that he would come over two weeks ago. Autumn is in full swing now, four weeks since the start of the season and five since the new apothecary came to town. You had not quite lost hope that he would be true to his word, but you must admit that you are caught off-guard seeing him at this hour and at your gate.
“When I said not to come at nightfall, I didn’t mean that you needed to come at the break of dawn!”
“I wanted to come before opening hours,” Mingi replies in a far clearer voice than your own. You’re still wiping the sleep from your eyes after all, and it seems he has been up for some time considering how he doesn’t appear tired in the slightest. The lantern at the end of your walkway is lit — strange because you thought you had remembered to blow it out the night before — and the glow combined with the first few rays of sunshine over the horizon is enough to illuminate the space between you and the man. “I was also out on a morning walk, so I figured it would be smart to find out how to get here before making a fool of myself. Beyond making plans to do so several times over and not once making good on those plans.”
You did gather much from your first impression of the man. Seonghwa’s word proved correct: Mingi is quite friendly, although a tad clueless but his kindness makes up for that, and you heard as much from your fellow townsfolk after you left his apothecary a month ago. After all, newcomers will be the talk of the town for weeks after their arrival, so you got to be privy to much talk about his character just from spending five minutes milling about the streets. He’s cordial each time you happen across each other in the village on top of that, full of never-ending apologies about his delay in coming to see you (to the point where you have to demand he stop apologizing three times before he takes the hint).
“Considering how I didn’t even make it to the front door, I’m assuming I did not wake you?” he continues when you reach the edge of the fence. You shake your head, undoing the latching and pulling the gate over for him to step through.
“No, you simply caught me coming out to check on the crops before the rain starts.” You didn’t sense any rain coming today, but a little trip down to the pond can easily be arranged once Mingi departs. “This is only the front garden. I can show you the back as well, if you’d like, I have far more plants there.”
“You take care of this all by yourself?” he inquires, voice edging on awestruck, and your chest swells with pride.
“Yep! It is my livelihood, after all. But I am very enamored with the work too, so that helps me as well. These plants need more sun, and thanks to the location of this cottage, they receive it at least eight hours a day. Same goes for the plots on the left side of the house, but the ones on the right are not as sensitive to the sunshine. I keep the least temperamental crops in the back, along with some gourds that shops have a hard time finding at this time of year. My more cold-sensitive plants are in planters indoors, I have that small little greenhouse attachment on the side of the house as well as fungi and the like in the basement.”
“It seems you truly have a bit of everything then?”
“I try to at least. Whenever traveling merchants come for market days, I make a point to collect whatever seeds I can. I also like picking up gardener’s pamphlets! There are always good tips for how to make certain plants thrive, and occasionally they’ll mention ones I’ve not heard of so I know to be on the lookout for those things. If there’s ever something you’re in need of that I don’t have, I’d be happy to collect some samples for you from some merchants and we can discuss planting them too.” When you glance up at Mingi again, his jaw is hanging slightly open, eyes still bearing into you with that same wonder and disbelief. “Oh, sorry, I’m being a terrible host. Did you want to come inside for some tea or coffee? It’s still quite early.”
“That’d be great. Do you happen to have a catalog of all your crops as well?”
“Of course, of course.” You motion for him to follow you up to the house just as a few drops of rain start hitting your skin. Maybe you won’t need to go down to the pond after all. “It seems you came at the perfect time. Do you have some sort of potion that lets you predict the weather?”
“If only,” he laughs, ducking his head a bit to avoid the doorframe. He shrugs his cloak off upon getting inside, and once again you’re regaled by the sight of him dressed in all black. Though, today he’s forgone gloves and simply stuck to a long-sleeved shirt that extends past his hands.
“You’re welcome to look around as I get the water on and all!”
“I’d be happy to do that for you.”
“Please, you’re a guest, that’d hardly be fair of me.”
“But I did accost you before dawn, so I’d like to think of it as a fair bargain.”
You purse your lips. “Okay, I’ll relent and allow you to do the water, but I’ll take care of everything else.” He drapes his cloak over the back of one of your chairs, very careful and meticulous about the way in which he lays it down, but you only watch him long enough to see him reach the sink. Turning your back to him, you busy yourself with finding mugs and prepping the coffee Seonghwa gave to you a few weeks back. You should’ve thought ahead and asked him for more since you were just over there, but it slipped your mind completely. Perhaps he needs some more lavender and rosemary, you could pack some and use that as an excuse to go back to see him.
When you turn around next, Mingi is already sitting at the table in the seat where he set his cloak down, and you make a small noise of surprise.
“Did you get the stove figured out already? I swear it takes me four or five tries to get it to come on right every time.”
“Hm? It came right on when I turned the knob. Is it not supposed to do that?”
You let out a huff of air while shrugging and set the mugs down on the table. “It never does that for me but that very well may be user error.” The sharp whistle of steam interrupts your thoughts. “Ah, and it’s heating up quickly too? Those remedies of yours are becoming more and more appealing by the second. You might be the town’s new miracle worker at this rate.”
In truth, it’s making your skin itch a little. There was some odd presence of magick back in Mingi’s shop, and even now you feel something sharp prodding at your own magickal energy in your own home. It’s not a threat, not one that you can concretely act on yet at least, but it’s enough to make you wary. To let a witch into your safe haven is a dangerous and risky game to play, especially if it’s where the source of your power is. Thankfully, you were not so foolish upon moving here to do something as juvenile as that — yours is safely kept away in that pond down the opposite side of the hill and tucked into a small grove in the surrounding forest.
“Oh, let me grab that catalog for you real quick!” You bolt up from your chair at the sudden realization, and Mingi seems to accept it as simply that. You grab the book from your shelf, also snatching up the charm you keep near it and slipping it around your wrist while you’re out of sight still. It won’t be enough to fully shroud your energy, but if Mingi is indeed poking and prodding at your aura in search of something, it ought to at least throw him off enough to sate his curiosities. You usually only use such an item when strangers come to town for those market days you mentioned to Mingi before, and it certainly is a first for you to have to use it in your home.
He’s not budged an inch by the time you return, which is nice to see because he could either have started snooping around in places he shouldn’t or bolted without a trace. You set the book down before him, still wearing a faint smile on your lips.
“I just updated it at the start of the week too, so you have the freshest copy.”
“Wonderful, I’m starting to understand the name on your gate post more and more.”
“Ah, that.” Wonderland was simply a silly little name you came up with on a whim because that’s what this place is to you, but it stuck and everyone in town loved it so much that you could not escape the urgings to keep it as a name even if you are not a shop owner in the way that people like Seonghwa and Mingi both are. “It’s nothing terribly special,” you opt to say instead. The kettle starts whistling more egregiously, saving you from having to explain the name any further. You stand and go to grab the handle of the pot, only to scald your palm so badly that you nearly fall over backward. Mingi scrambles to get up, chair clattering against the ground as he rushes in your direction.
“Shit, I’m so sorry, I—”
“You’re sorry?” you blurt through gritted teeth, clinging to your hand and trying to will the pain away to no avail. “What are you sorry for?”
“I-I should’ve — I should’ve gotten that, I mean, my hands are…” he trails off, and you glance down at the now exposed hands that he’s put between you. From the tips of his fingers down to the first knuckle on every single digit, Mingi’s skin and nails both are the color of charcoal, like they’ve been permanently stained that way. Were you anybody else, you would not know what it means.
“I’m fine,” you say. He’s a warlock after all, it seems. Of course he is. You have been teetering on the confirmation for weeks at this point, and it was silly of you to ignore the obvious so many times over. His uncomfortably warm touch and the stifling heat inside his shop were both dead giveaways. You did not forget to extinguish your lantern last night, nor did the stove simply come on by way of Mingi being deft at using the knobs. He lit the lantern himself, lit the stove himself as well though because he was unaware of how your finicky stove works, he made the flame too big and too hot, thus leading to the quick boil and unfortunate accident of you burning your hand. The symbol on his door sign should have been enough of a clue.
“Please, at least let me make you something to treat the burn. It’s what I’m good at after all, and it’s the barest of minimums I could do.”
If you kick him out now, then it will surely be obvious that you know something about his identity. Only daft idiots or people with something to hide would turn down the help of a healer such as himself. In the past decade, you have lost all semblance of good judgment because no amount of mental gymnastics can get you to refuse his help right now. You’re dooming yourself if he already knows what you are, but if he’s got even the slightest hint and you turn him away, then you would confirm it for him. You have to take the risk.
“Okay, I would really appreciate it,” you whisper, easing yourself down into your chair once more. Mingi’s shoulders visibly relax. “All these plants and I’m afraid I’ve barely got enough knowledge to make tea on a good day with them. Everything you need ought to be on the shelves behind the counter. Those are all freshly picked too.” When he turns his back to you, you let your meek expression drop and glare at the welt that’s already formed across your palm. Mingi’s magick does not appear to be volatile, meaning that he must have had some sort of formal training in his life. It’s common for fire warlocks to bear the same charcoal-looking scars that he has, mostly from overexertion of their kind of magick. You produce more sweat than is natural for a normal human being thanks to your affinities too.
Would the House truly send someone here for you after so long? And to go through the effort of having them set up a shop in the heart of town? If they wanted someone to watch you, then it would have been easier and smarter to have someone take one of the cottages closer to you. Besides, Mingi has not been taking every opportunity to come find you or learn about you. Nor does he wear any ring to indicate his affiliation with the House. A sanctioned mage would surely make use of such benefits. Could he be a defector like you? Or one that never made it into the House’s grasp?
He returns to the table with a mortar and pestle filled with some sort of salve that he’s already beaten down into a mush.
“Does it hurt badly?”
“Quite a bit,” you answer truthfully, only wincing a little when he turns your palm to the ceiling. It feels as though his fingers alone could sear your skin.
“I made extra for you to use over the next several days as well. All you need to do is store it somewhere cool and apply a little to the burn twice a day until the pain stops.” The mixture is so blissfully cold on your skin that you could cry, and even with Mingi’s warm touch massaging it into the burn, it feels like a heavenly relief. “If the pain doesn’t stop by the time you run out of salve, then please come visit me. I can make more and give you something to keep it from scarring.”
“Understood.”
“And y/n…” He squeezes your hand ever so slightly, and your breath catches in your throat. “You do not have to hide what you are around me.” His gaze finds yours. “You are a witch after all, are you not?” A witch. The word feels like a slap in the face.
“Are you associated with the House? Did they send you? What is it you want from me?”
“The House? Absolutely not. I left their good graces many years ago. I wouldn’t give them even an ounce of my time anyway.”
“So what? You’re a witch as well?”
“Yes, I suppose I am though I don’t make a habit of calling myself that. Simply an apothecary, much like how you are simply a farmer. Of sorts.” Mingi fidgets in his seat and looks closer at you. “I am genuinely not here to cause you harm or disrupt your life. I imagine we came here for the very same reasons in fact. I simply want to live by my own terms, not anyone else’s.”
“Get out,” you whisper. Perhaps there are hundreds of better ways to handle this, but you have never had to do such a thing in all your time here, and you cannot be faulted for acting out of panic and fear now. Your voice comes out louder now, “Get out of my home then! Get out and don’t come back d-don’t dare tell anyone.”
“The energy is permeating the entire house.” Mingi keeps his tone quiet as he continues to speak through your distress. “Your garden too, I felt it immediately. The rain — it’s in there as well. Sure, it’s always rainy season here but how much of it is because of you?”
“You know what the other name for my kind is, right?”
“You’re a water witch.”
You retract your hand from his with a scoff.
“The House tends to call us Scyllans. Sweet temptresses of the deep, killers of foolish men.”
Mingi somehow has it in him to smile.
“Then I ought to be safe, for I am neither foolish nor a mere man.” He stands without saying another word, collecting his cloak off the back of his chair and slinging it around his shoulders. You can’t help but to stare at him, wary and on edge with every movement he makes even when he reaches the door. “My words hold true, y/n. I hope you think them over at least. And your secret is truly safe with me.”
…
You avoid going into town for so long that Seonghwa seeks you out five days after you go into self-imposed seclusion. It’s easy to keep him off your back at least, and from what you can tell, Mingi has not sought him out to expose your dirty secrets as of yet. The logical part of you understands that you ought to avoid angering the man because he does hold quite a bit of power over you right now. Fear keeps you captive instead, however.
Two weeks and a day after that fateful encounter you had with Mingi, you dare to leave the comfort of your home. Not to go into the village — that is a step you are not prepared to face — but rather to visit your precious grove in the forest. You should have gone last week as it’s always been your habit to go once a month to rejuvenate your magick; however, you were so on edge that you couldn’t get beyond your back fence and promptly turned right back around. Tonight, you’re determined.
The skies are clear, not a single cloud marring her starry expanses, and the moon hangs high near the center of the sky. Even better yet, it’s a full moon. Ideal conditions for you to bathe in the pond and restore some much-needed energy. You set out forty minutes from midnight even though your trek will not take that long. You need only be there for the highest peak of the moon, so giving yourself this little bit of leeway should allow you all the time required to reach your destination. Despite yourself, you do glance over your shoulder several times on your way out of the house and garden. When you’re content with your loneliness, you set off down the hill.
It’s not as though you decided to dismiss Mingi’s words altogether once he left. You have put much thought and consideration into them, in fact, especially after Seonghwa came to see you and nothing had changed between the two of you. It’s no guarantee that Mingi didn’t tell anyone, but it’s something. The matter of him being a witch like you, well, that has been a contentious debate in your head. A true warlock calling themselves a witch is considered heresy to many, so you have to believe that Mingi is being truthful with you. You know enough about his magick to know for certain he is either one or the other. But at the end of the day, there is no way for him to prove as much. All he has is his word to back him up, and all you can do is either accept it as truth or deny it.
Long ago, you had settled on the knowledge that you would likely be a rather lonely creature for the rest of your days. Finding Charybid and its people was a welcome blessing, but not a permanent one, and the friends you’ve made (especially Seonghwa and Yunho) cannot understand what it is you are or relate to you on any matter concerning witchcraft. You’ve long since accepted that loneliness as a part of you even if there are pieces of your heart craving warmth and understanding from another like you.
If it were possible, could Mingi be that sort of person in your life? Does he crave the same thing? Is that why he confronted you to begin with?
You reach the grove with a heavier heart than anticipated. Moonlight creeps in through the canopy of branches overhead, glistening off the half-circle of rocks around milky green waters. The moon has already been charging the pond for hours, and you feel the pulse of magick resonating deep in you from the bottom of it.
Stripping down to nothing, you drop your clothes into a pile near the rocks with your satchel and toe at the water. It’s frigid as expected, thanks to the encroaching winter that is coming closer and closer still. You sink into it fully and submerge yourself in the charged waters. Several meters down at the bottom lies your precious black pearl, glowing a deep purple shade to show exactly how much magick she’s stored since you last came. You let the waters hold you for some time until the dull thrum you feel around you turns into a hum that makes your skin feel like it’s full of electricity.
It’s only then that you decide to emerge once more, breaking the surface of the water and letting air replace the magick in your lungs.
Yet, you find that you are not alone.
Bent so far over the pond that he looks one slip away from tumbling down into it, none other than Mingi sits crouched at the edge. It’s far too late to pretend as though you haven’t made note of each other. Depending on which direction Mingi came from, he may not have even seen your belongings behind the rocks. You sink lower in the water until it comes up to cover your lips.
“My apologies. I did not know you were here.” Just his gaze is enough to make your body warm. You tilt your chin up.
“Is that so?”
“I came because of the magickal energy, yes. Not because I knew you would be here.” He’s not far from you. The moon shines her pretty rays down around him, and you blame her for the insatiable tug in your gut that’s making you want to pull him into the waters with you. “I have been thinking about you though,” he admits under his breath. You imagine the words are not meant for your ears, but he doesn’t seem to realize he’s spoken them out loud. It takes little movement on your part to swim closer to him, and you only stop when he is perched directly above you.
“Do I look the part of a temptress now?” you inquire, hand breaking through the surface of the water to caress his cheek.
“Incredibly so,” he murmurs. “I see why foolish men fall. Perhaps I am no better.”
“You know nothing about me.” You trace your fingers down to his chin.
“I know enough.”
You shush him with a laugh and a finger placed directly over his lips. “The sun gives you her power during the day, but on nights like these, the moon offers me a fair exchange. Her power for my sexual energy. That is where a water witch’s magick comes from, and it’s what has earned us all those myths and urban legends about eating men. Now that you know that of me, should I trust you in return?”
“I am what I say I am. I am a fire witch. I defected from the House of Ballads five years ago. To answer your question, though, if…” His gaze has become lidded, focus drawing down to your lips with each word he tries to speak. You feel just as overwhelmed and foggy yourself, the excess magick seeping into you from all angles as the moon inches ever closer to her peak. “…you deem it wise.”
“I think some part of me might.”
“Did you consider what I said to you last time?”
“But of course. It wasn’t so long ago that I’ve forgotten already.” A sigh escapes you as you look up to where the moon can just barely be seen through the trees. “I’d like to give you a chance, if only because of morbid curiosity and the fact that I have made it a decade without finding another like myself.”
You inch up and graze Mingi’s lips with your own. His fingertips tickle the surface of the water, and the effect is nearly instant. Warmth surrounds you and draws a gasp out of you that has you curling away from Mingi’s face. He leans back.
“I cannot restrain myself well enough tonight. Not in the presence of such potent magick.” You are equal parts pleasantly surprised and grossly disappointed by his willpower. With a smile, you push away from the edge of the pond and head further into the water. Mingi almost makes the mistake of following you, teetering at the grassy bank.
“You are welcome to visit again. So long as I am not nude or compromised.”
“I-I—” His cheeks are stained a deep red by now.
“I do not intend to put on a show for you tonight, Mingi, but I am in desperate need of the moon’s energy. If that is all, then…?” Were the circumstances any different, you would consider your wording to be crude in that you are essentially asking him to leave so that you can fuck yourself with the crystal you brought along with you in your bag.
He clears his throat and sits completely back on his heels, gaze wandering across your face. Licking over his lips, his eyes linger on the water droplets running from your hairline to your jaw.
“I will come to you when the first snow falls,” he says. “So that you may have time to contemplate things further. My decision is already made, and I'm sure you're aware of it. Please… please let me know then what your choice is.” You want to retort that he doesn’t have the best track record thus far, but instead leave well enough and wave him away with a grin. A bout of laughter leaves your lips as soon as he passes through the clearing and out of sight.
“Are you testing me?” you whisper to the moon, receiving nothing but her monotonous glow in response. You wade over to the rocks where you left your belongings and quickly rifle through your pack in search of the rose quartz you brought along. It’s cold to the touch, unpleasant in comparison to the warm body that you just had with you and within your grasp. While the shape isn't perfect, it gets the job done in the absence of the real deal, and it serves its purpose just fine. Not like you have any other options as it is.
Part of you entertains the idea of having Mingi still here — from a practical standpoint, consummating the ritual with another magick user would be far more effective than using a crystal charged by the moon. But from a pleasure standpoint…
You dip your fingers between your legs, letting your body fall back to rest your head on the edge of the pond as you seek your core between your folds. The magick at your fingertips pulses through you and sends a jolt into your system just from the slightest brush. A soft mewl falls from your lips. You feel Mingi’s magick still permeating all throughout the water, clinging to your skin, and on your lips, you taste fire from that minute little kiss exchanged in a fit of passion.
No matter how hard you try, you cannot get your fingers deep enough inside your cunt. Instead, your thoughts are plagued by the visual of Mingi’s hands, his long fingers, the searing heat that emanates from them, and the all-consuming desire to know what it would feel like to have them inside you.
You cannot even bring yourself to waste time right now; slipping your fingers free, you plunge the toy in your other hand into yourself and sink it all the way in until the pressure in your gut is eased the slightest bit. It's blissfully cold against your walls; the coolness eases the burn that seems to be wedged beneath your skin and brings some clarity back to your mind. It does not, however, chase every thought of Mingi from your brain. In the haze of your vision, you can hallucinate him before you still, imagine him in the spot where he was not long ago watching you with those fiery intense eyes and urging you on. A louder cry of pleasure tumbles out of you as you're forced to twist and brace yourself on a rock to keep increasing the pace of the toy's thrusts inside you.
It ought to fill you with some degree of shame, you think, because who lusts so strongly after a stranger who poses something of a threat to your well-being and livelihood? But when your mind goes back to the idea of his large hands gripping your waist and hips as he splits you open on his cock, you can't be bothered in the slightest about the speed at which you're becoming invested in this man — all that matters is the speed at which you're thrusting the crystal dildo in and out of your pussy as an orgasm creeps up on you. You have to bury your face in the crook of your arm to have some semblance of sanity to cling to. And when you unravel soon after, it’s his name on your lips.
…
The first snow of the season is late.
You have been trying to avoid thinking about it solely on account of the superstition that mulling it over will only delay it further, but those attempts are futile. Because when you tell yourself to not think about it, you only end up thinking about it more, then you devolve into a sick cycle of reasoning with yourself and the moon and any deity out there who will give you the time of day.
While you could set your pride aside for the sake of what it is you’re waiting on exactly, that is simply not in your nature. Additionally, you want to see whether Mingi will uphold his end of the bargain. He promised to come at the first snow. So you will wait for that day.
Your gardens are thriving thanks to the lack of snow and the amplified support of your fully-charged magick, which is the only positive you can find in this situation while you essentially sit on your hands and wait. The downside is, however, that the temperatures are still steadily declining, and you always struggle in the winter to keep your home warm enough. Your specialty may be in water magick, but that does not mean you have any control or power over the temperature of said water, and everything around you tends to skew a bit cooler as it is. The thought of how cold you are and your house is and everything in between only pushes your thoughts more towards the lack of warmth and a potential source of it that will not come unless the fucking snow does first.
If you have to put up with seeing Mingi’s smiling face across the street while you’re pestering Seonghwa one more time then you may truly snap and lose all semblance of self-respect.
…
You’re knelt in a bed of rosemary when the first flakes of snow start to hit your skin. At first, you think it to be just rain but then a flurry touches one of the purple blossoms on the herb. The shout you let out is a terrifying mixture of joy and exasperation because at long last, your agonizing wait can finally come to a close. The way you scramble to pull yourself out of the dirt and rush indoors ought to be more embarrassing. It takes you all of five minutes to change out of your grimy gardening clothes and into something cozier and cleaner, though all you do is park yourself at the kitchen table with a mug of hot tea and stare out the window waiting for any sign of movement on the hill. The snow is coming down harder already, a billowing cloud of white that cloaks the dirt and grass on the ground. It doesn’t even occur to you to think that Mingi might not come at all, that he might have forgotten or worse — simply not chosen to come at all — because your patience has worn so thin over the past weeks that you feel relief just seeing the snow.
And luckily for you, Mingi is far more timely and true to his word than he was before. You neglected to keep track of the time, though you haven’t finished your tea yet by the time his lanky figure comes over the crest of the hill. You know it to be him instantly because his fiery hair is visible through the white all around him.
You’re at the door before you can think twice, flinging it open and making your way down the path to the gate as though you aren’t in the biggest rush of your life. Behind him, there’s a trail of footsteps where the snow has melted under his feet, and the closer he gets, the better you can see how not even a single snowflake sticks to him in any way. Every flake that touches even the outside of his cloak simply melts upon contact, leaving him pristine in the sea of white falling around you.
“Did you wait long?” he asks upon reaching your gate. Somehow he manages to maintain a lilting tone that makes your brain itch. You want to kiss him so silly that all that smugness dissipates like the snow on his skin. “Y/n.” The breathy exhale of your name is all it takes for you to grab him by the collar and yank him down to your level. The warmth is so blessedly welcome. “Have you made your decision?”
You slot your lips against his, licking at the seam of his lips without waiting for further invitation. He scrambles with the latch on the gate, though you’re of no help at all with how you’re trying to pull him over it, but once that pesky barrier is pushed open just a little bit, he slides through the gap and seals his body against yours. Even though the cold doesn’t seem to be affecting him much, his breathing still comes out in pants, like he sprinted the whole way here from town without rest. He clasps his hands around the back of your neck, thumbs caressing the underside of your jaw, and each kiss he plants on your lips is more searing than the last. It takes all you have to not trip over backward on your feet with him guiding you back towards the door of your home. The two of you don’t even make it through the door before he’s pushing you up against the doorframe and slotting a knee between your thighs.
“Please, y/n, let me hear it from these pretty lips,” he begs. Your whole body is alight with something — either magick or lust or something in between those things that you can’t distinguish at present. The heat radiating off his body makes your head spin, and it’s such an intoxicating sensation that you reach your hands beneath the fabric of his cloak to be closer to skin.
“I trust you, I need you, I want you to have me,” you murmur back. Mingi pushes his lower lip out with the tip of his tongue. His gaze carries the same heat you’ve grown used to seeing all the time when you look at his eyes. Now, the weight of it feels heavier. Your breath hitches in your throat as he wraps an arm around your back, and his fingers dig into your side briefly. You’re pulled away from the doorframe and into the house only for him to slam the door shut and lock the snow out. What you aren’t expecting is to be flattened to the surface face first mere seconds later.
“I want to have you right here and now,” Mingi growls behind you. Every brush of his hands over your body leaves goosebumps in their wake along with the heat of his magick seeping into your skin. He takes apart your bodice carefully, pulling each string with a startling amount of care compared to his desperate rush to have you. A sort of fever takes hold of you, and with each piece of clothing he removes from your being, the more the fire in your belly roars. Glancing down, you see your clothes fallen into a heap on the floor, along with his cloak, then his coat, his shirt — each piece of fabric goes to join the pile until you feel bare skin against yours. The bliss of the contact is so immense that you let out a pitiful moan.
“Mingi.”
“Raise your arms over your head for me, y/n.”
“Mingi,” you utter again, following the instruction without a breath of hesitation. He takes both of your wrists between just one of his hands and pins them to the flat surface of the door. Your chest trembles under your breaths.
“I will not be rough with you unless you allow it. How I take you is up to you… whether it be me taking you apart gently or fucking you hot and raw right here and now.” You can’t take the sensation of his breathing down your neck without squirming. No matter how hard you squeeze your thighs together, there’s no relief for the pulsing need for pressure there. The moment Mingi catches onto your attempts, he wedges his knee between your legs and leaves you to rock back on his muscled thigh for some sort of escape.
“Please.” It’s as though there’s cotton in your mouth keeping you from fully forming any kind of sentence because although your thoughts are running at a mile per minute, you cannot seem to get more than one word out at a time. Mingi nudges you forward into the door once again. He replaces the pressure of his thigh with his unoccupied hand, cupping your cunt and dragging his middle finger along the slit of your folds.
“You’re coming undone already, my little witch.” Mingi suddenly flicks his finger forward over your clit, and your knees buckle. Your reaction delights him so much that he repeats the action two more times, and your body truly becomes putty in his hands. He keeps you up between the hand holding your wrists to the door and the one cupped around your sex, but you aren’t sure your muscles could keep you up on their own without the help. Especially not when Mingi gets more daring and pulls a second finger into the mix to tease the ring of your entrance with small, methodical circles.
“Put them in me, put your fingers in!” you cry out only for Mingi to roll over your clit once again. His cock is twitching against your ass, firm and big, and part of you wants to forget everything else solely to have him in your mouth and down your throat.
“Is that how good girls ask for things?” He pinches your clit between his fingers until you’re whimpering out an apology and smearing drool across the door. “Ask again. Nicely this time, sweetheart.”
“Please f-fuck me with your fingers, please open me up for you, I w-want to feel you so badly.” Nonsensical babbling is enough for him, blessedly, because you’re not confident that anything more coherent than that could make its way out of you right now. He rolls the pads of his fingers up against your clit again before going any lower. His laugh is borderline sadistic when you curl your fingers into the wood, nails clawing for some sort of grip that will help you ground yourself. “Wanna come so—!”
“That’s it, come for me, lovely. Then I’ll fuck you nice and loose on my fingers while you’re coming.” Mingi retracts his fingers right when your gut clenches, and as your walls squeeze tight around nothing, he slips two digits into your cunt. Your lips part in a silent scream, moans caught in the back of your throat. Your vision goes white behind your eyelids though it lasts so much longer than what you’re used to getting from your own hand and toys. Perhaps it’s because Mingi doesn’t let up on you even in the throes of your orgasm, or thanks to your magickal energies intertwining in the most raw and intimate way imaginable. “Let me open you up some more first, then I’ll give you what you want.”
You blink your eyes open and look at Mingi out your peripherals, mouth wide open and cheek still pressed harshly into the door even though you’re the one keeping it there.
“Do you want it too?” you ask out of the blue. Your voice is tight and strained. His fingers curl inside you.
“So badly,” comes his quick reply, “that it’s taking everything in me not to put my dick in you right now. But I don’t want to hurt you.” As though to emphasize his feelings, Mingi rolls his hips forward, and his cock rubs hard against your ass. “Doesn’t even look like it’s gonna fit in you, fuck.”
“Mingi, I need you in me now, like right this instant now, not in five minutes now.” The first orgasm has your vision hazy and legs wobbly, but that’s far from a concern to you at the moment. Your urgency pushes the man behind you to have the same sort of franticness, hurriedly slipping his fingers free of your cunt and readjusting his hold so that he can grip the base of his dick. You hold perfectly still for him as he lines himself up with your waiting hole that’s already sopping with arousal. Your pussy takes him in like it’s greedy for it, each inch sliding in and spreading you wider to accommodate to his size. One thing’s for certain: Mingi has a stupidly big dick, so big that it makes you wonder if you’d be able to feel it through your stomach if you put a hand there.
Whatever shreds of patience he had left in him turn to ash the second he’s fully buried balls-deep in you. He doesn’t wait even a second before he pulls out about halfway, and the only stutter in his rhythm comes from him trying to find it. You’re suddenly rather glad that he’s keeping your hands up for you because the drive of his cock inside your pussy would bring you to your knees otherwise. The sounds of pleasure fill your ears — his low baritone moans tangled alongside your more throaty ones that crack here and there, the slap of his hips hitting your ass, and the thumping of the door as he fucks you so hard against it that it trembles.
“Y-You’re so deep, I feel you in my stomach,” you choke out between moans. It devolves into a sob as Mingi shifts his angle upwards a bit and hits a new spot deep inside you that has you seeing stars.
“Yeah? Your pussy is clinging to me nice and tight, lovely, I think you like it a little too much.” He has enough composure to still speak without crying, meanwhile, tears are starting to pool at the corners of your eyes as the overstimulation of your senses and nerves reaches unimaginable heights. “Bet your pretty little toy isn’t even half as big as me.”
Mingi thrusts so hard into you that his grip on your wrists falters, and one of your hands falls free. He doesn’t bother correcting it, nor do you try to keep it up any longer, instead rushing to get your fingers around your clit again. You’re so hyperfocused on chasing the high of another orgasm that you don’t warn him it’s about to hit you this time. He knows well enough when your body seizes for a moment before releasing every bit of tension in your muscles. Your walls flex around his cock, working him in time with the waves of your euphoria, until he can’t take it anymore and pulls free of your hole. He rests his length atop the cleft of your ass and thrusts a few more times there, then comes his release. Hot ropes of come shoot out from his cock, painting your naked back into a messy canvas of come and sweat.
Despite the sudden quiet filling the house, your hearing is hypervigilant and clings to every slight noise that comes from your partner, from his fight to get air into his lungs to the hand he now rubs over his spent cock.
“You…” Your throat is too dry and you end up coughing instead of getting a sentence out. Mingi’s fingers trace small, unknown patterns into your hip. “You’re welcome to stay through winter. That’s my answer.”
“Through winter?” Mingi hums. He slips his hand around your waist and flattens his large palm over your abdomen. “What about spring?”
“Then too.”
“And summer?” He’s teasing you again. Somehow he still has the energy to do that.
“And summer and autumn then winter again. But maybe by the spring after that, I’ll be sick of you!”
“You won’t be,” he says through a laugh, lips brushing against the side of your head. You’re going to need better retorts if he plans on sticking around that long.
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#ateez x reader#ateez smut#mingi x reader#mingi smut#ateez fanfic#ateez ff#ateez fic#mingi fanfic#mingi fic#mingi ff#ateez imagine#mingi imagine#caly.writes#winter fic fest 2023#fic; and it's snowing#fic; sweet juice
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NOTE: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS. (Also, I’m a sappy, silly, dork at times. Sorry not sorry.)
The boys reactions to learning their s/o has been kidnapped
Fem Reader x : Muzan, Gyutaro, Rengoku, Sanemi
WARNINGS: use of ‘naughty words’, mentions of blood, rape, mutilation, death, violence, and possible spoilers.
MUZAN KIBUTSUJI
It was supposed to be your last day under the sunlight, that had been your request. Muzan had found you far too intriguing (he would never admit to actually having developed feelings for you) to leave you as a mere human, and you for your part had fallen hard for the red-eyed King of the Demons. Granting you one last day in the sunlight was a small price…or it should have been.
Muzan’s nerves were already on edge. He did not like you being away where he could not watch you and be certain of your safety, but Douma had humans with you, other humans that were to see to your every desire for the day. Muzan had ensured they would have ample funds to do so. It would be fine, at least that’s what he kept trying to tell himself all the way up until Douma appeared before him and tossed a mangled human at his feet.
Muzan had seen Douma assume many expressions and faces over the centuries, but the death glare down at the now legless man at his feet did not help Muzan’s nerves. Before Muzan could snap at Douma that he did not require anyone else to do his hunting for him, Douma snarled at the human. “Repeat what you just said to me.”
Muzan actually took the time to look then and noticed the robes the man wore. He was a member of Douma’s cult and his face looked vaguely familiar, but the words he uttered through pain stilled the Demon Lord’s heart in his chest, before his blood raged to life through his body.
“T-took her.”
“What do you mean by that?” Muzan's quiet question that was laced with a thousand promises of pain beyond imagination if the answer received was anything but pleasing.
“S-swords. Men with swords. They,” the man coughed another pile of blood at his feet before he stopped breathing.
“Demon slayers, my lord,” Douma answered from a prostate position.
Before he could blink, Douma’s head was snapped back, clawed hands fisted in his hair forcing the multi-colored eyes to meet the furious ruby of the Demon King.
Slowly, as if dragging the words from the pits of his now hollow stomach, Muzan ordered, “Where…is…she?”
Douma blinked only once before he heard the familiar strum of the biwa and four other demons appeared on the floor behind him.
*******************************************************************
You sat up, still with your hands bound before you, in front of the men gathered. There were two women but you would not look at them. All you could feel was cold fear and rage. They had been going on for hours now, asking questions that you gave only short, curt replies to… if you answered at all.
“You don’t seem to understand just what kind of monster that man is!”
That did it. You snarled out, “You don’t get to call him a monster when you are the ones that murdered my escorts.”
“It might seem that way,” one of the women spoke up and you snapped a glare at her smiling face. Her bangs hang loose, but otherwise her hair was drawn back in a bun, behind a butterfly of all things. You silently scoff at the concept. “We were actually saving you.”
There was no keeping the scoff silent that time.
The smile faded from her face barely before she forcibly replaced it. “We were.”
“From what? A happy life?” You didn’t wait for any of them to answer. “They were to escort me to gather the rest of my matrimonial supplies and you killed them and you expect me to believe a single lie that drips out of your open maw.”
“This poor woman.” The giant rubbed his beads between his hands again as he began crying. “He has deceived her.”
“She’ll need to remain restrained.” The heterochromatic gaze made you shiver on its own, nevermind the albino snake slithering over his shoulders. “She managed to do quite a bit of damage to slayers that rescued her.”
“Captured,” you snipe back. “Not rescued.”
“Look, sweetheart,” the large man with gems hanging from his hitai-ate on either side of his face began in a far gentler tone than the rest had used, “you’re safe now. The demons aren’t going to get you here. That’s what we call rescued. Yeah?”
You scoff and purposely turn your face from him. As if. Muzan was nothing but gentle with me and would murder any demon who tried. Your eyes find his face and harden into (e/c) chips. “You are the only ones to cause me harm.”
“Do we know why Muzan wanted her?” the man with hair akin to living flame asked loudly. It was like he didn’t know how to talk if he wasn’t shouting and much like your lover, the noise grated your nerves.
“Nope,” the flamboyant shinobi answered. “She still won’t say.”
“I think we should schedule a watch. Make sure no other demons come looking for her,” the scarred over man stated.
You couldn’t help the smile that crept up your lips then. You do that. Your gaze fell to the now setting evening sun. It was beautiful, the vibrant blue shifting into orange and red hues as if the sun itself knew what you did.
“It won’t matter,” you stated proudly. Your heart beat in your chest steadily and you smiled pleasantly at the fools before you whose mouths dropped at the beauty you could radiate. This view was for him, for the thought of your Lord that you knew was coming for you. “You’ll all be dead by dawn.”
Despite their pestering, you said nothing more for the remainder of the sunset, slowly watching that brilliant orb sink below the mountains with a radiant smile placed on your face. In its final glory, the sun painted the sky a vibrant vermillion that evening and you could think of nothing more than the beautiful red eyes of your Lord and the arms you wished so desperately to return to.
GYUTARO SHABANA
Gyutaro smiled his too wide smile down at the necklace. Daki had helped him select it. She didn’t understand his obsession with you but she did like that you at least caused her otherwise maudlin brother to smile once in a while so she was tolerant of you. It wasn’t like you’d ever compare with her in his heart anyway, right?
Gyutaro adored the way you would take his face in your hands and smile at him, telling him that he didn’t need to bring you things. You were just a simple farm girl after all. Such finery was for high class ladies.
“I’m just happy to see you again.”
The memory of those words made his grin go wider. His hopeful eyes met his sister’s. “Should I ask her… to become a demon like us?”
Daki smiled fondly and squeezed his shoulders in a hug. “I’m sure you’ll know that answer when it's the right time. For now, the sun has finally set. I’ll step back. Go to her.” And with that she surrendered full control to him and Gyutaro stood, gently cradling the gift for you in both hands.
************************************************************************
Gyutaro arrived at your meeting spot, in the shadows of the fields and froze. The door to your home was never left open. Cold panic sank in his stomach as he sprang across the fields. Your father always kept a single light in the window, but the house was dark and the closer he got, the more he could smell the scent he recognized immediately…blood.
Frozen in the doorway, the scene before him turned his stomach. The walls were spattered in blood, the two little bodies of your younger siblings both mutilated. There was a woman on the bed, older, must have been your mother. Gyutaro looked away. What had been done didn’t need to be guessed at.
The man on the floor, a large pulsing gash of blood still seeping out into his garments still, mumbled and Gyutaro leaned closer.
“Sa-save…ha…Took…y/n.” It was the last wish of your dying father.
I’m not eating that, Daki echoed through their link but he barely heard her for the blood filling his ears.
His kamas appeared in his hands to a blood curdling screams that erupted from him before his feet were moving. The bandits had left obvious footprints to follow and this wasn’t the first time he pursued humans, but it was the fastest. His vision clouded in red as he saw only his target, only the patterns of feet and something heavy being dragged between them. He would get there. He would find you and save you and convince you to become a demon, so no one could do this to you ever again.
KYOJURO RENGOKU
Kyojuro hummed to himself as he opened the doors to his home one handed, balancing a load of groceries you had asked for on the other hand. His lovely wife sending him on errands first thing in the morning was nothing new. After all, you saw to the whole estate and made sure Senjuro was getting his study time in even when Kyojuro was away.
You supported your husband in everything, especially in being a Hashira and striving to improve the Corps from the top. Kyojuro chuckled to himself as he thought of your insistence that he take a Tsuguko so he could eventually retire.
“I do support you, my light. I just,” you had paused to blush that pretty blush he loved so across your cheeks back to your ears, “sometimes I want you to myself too.”
“Y/n! I’m back!” he called with a grin as he set the items down in your kitchen.
When you didn’t immediately answer, Kyojuro’s brows furrowed and he began wandering the estate calling to you.
Finally he stepped out into the yard and raised his arm, calling “Kaname!”
Kaname alighted to his raised wrist and peered up at him.
“Kaname, I cannot find y/n anywhere. Could you find her?”
“But of course.” And Kaname alighted once more.
Kyojuro’s earlier smile failed to reappear as his instincts overrode his gleeful personality. Something was wrong.
“Brother?” Senjuro called as he walked out onto the patio.
Kyojuro walked over.
“Are you training, y/n again today?” Senjuro asked, glancing about for you.
Kyojuro couldn’t resist the smile that took him then. “I was actually looking for her. Have you seen her?”
Senjuro seemed almost to freeze, staring up at his brother as if he might have grown another head. “But she went into town with you…to get your steamed buns, right?”
Kyojuro laughed then. “That woman. Such a handful.” He grinned at his little brother. “I hope when you marry, that you find a more docile wife.”
“I don’t want to marry at all. Those things are trouble,” Senjuro shot back.
Kyojuro’s hearty laugh filled the courtyard.
“Seems the boy at least learned something useful from your wife,” Shinjuro jibed. “Probably should go after her though.”
“And why is that, father? Y/n is capable after all.”
Shinjuro glared heavily at him. “Because capable or not a woman shouldn’t be on her own. Now get going!”
Kyojuro caught the sake bottle hurled his way and set it gracefully on the porch before grinning down to Senjuro. “When I come back, we can all train.”
“Lotta good that’ll do ya,” Shinjuro grumbled and wandered off.
**************************************************************************
Meaning to surprise your husband with his favorite steamed buns, you had slipped into town after he left. What you had not intended, was to be held up before you could leave. The men blocking your way were not on the list of things that needed handling today but it seemed, they were going to insist.
“Please stand aside. I need to get through.”
Their sick chuckles were really answer enough but you held hope one of them would see sense and move.
“Pretty thing like you shouldn’t be wandering about alone. Why don’t we keep you company?” was followed by another round of chuckling.
“I am never alone. My husband’s light accompanies me everywhere. As does his strength.”
“That light’s welcome to come with us too,” one sniped on a grin.
“Yeah. Your husband’s light can shine on my cock all it likes.” Another round of chuckles as she sigh and slowly shake your head.
“How uncouth.”
SANEMI SHINAZUGAWA
Sanemi grinned as he bowed off to Muichiro and Iguro.
“Thanks for another fun night.”
Iguro only scoffed and Muichiro cocked his head to the side. “Your standards for fun seem very different lately.”
Jumping on the chance, Iguro teasingly asked, “Is it because of y/n?”
“Pft, as if,” Sanemi snarled, turning away, though neither sparring partner missed the dusting of pink over his cheeks to the question. “Man can’t enjoy a good sparring match now or something?”
“I didn’t say that,” Muichiro started as he began walking away. “Only that you seem to have gotten stronger since you began dating-”
“We’re not dating,” Sanemi snapped quickly.
“Uh-huh,” Iguro agreed sarcastically. “You’re just training and fucking. No one calls that dating. Oh, and living together. And eating together. And -”
“Shut up, snake head, before I really give it to ya.”
“Give it to her. I’m out of here.”
Muichiro smirked before putting it away and continuing his walk. They would walk together as usual for part of the way back so he could ask after.
And when they were nearly to Shinazugawa’s residence, he did. “Are you going to allow her to join the corps?”
Usually, Sanemi would snap at the question but this time, he didn’t get the chance.
“Lord Tokito! Lord Shinazugawa! Thank goodness!” the out of breath kakushi managed as he doubled over before them heaving breath. “Miss y/n…and mister Kanamori…have been….captured.”
Sanemi’s feet were moving before the kakushi could finish their report. YOU IDIOT!! How could you let yourself get caught?! Sanemi dodged between branches of the forest at a full run. He had trained you better than that. Even made you promise not to join the corps if he trained you personally and now…
“Dammit!”
“I don’t think expletives will help us find them any faster,” Muichiro commented from his side, keeping up with his stride nearly soundlessly.
************************************************************************
One hand to the weapon, the other set out beside you as you spoke, though never turning from the opponents in front of you. “Stay behind me, Mister Kanamori.”
“I’m so sorry. I feel I should be the one protecting you,” Kanamori stated meekly, though he obeyed.
You couldn’t help but smirk. “Then you don’t know my lover,” you stated as the other hand set to the hilt. “Now come at me, you bastards.”
Special thank you to Miss Vry for helping me with tags :D
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To Be Known (Astarion x GN!Tav)
Featuring: Astarion x Rogue!Tav
Series: Fits into Love at First Knife, AO3 link here
Summary: Astarion reads a book and wonders what it means to be known.
Tags: Astarion's POV, POV Second Person, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Fluff, Comfort, Vampire Spawn Astarion, set in Act 3 but pre-Cazador, Astarion is Bad at Feelings,
A/N: Disclaimer up top: I'm not abandoning any of my other fic! Promise! Just trying to get over a tough month and get back into the swing of things :'D
Also, based on the quote: “To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is like being loved by God.” (disclaimer: I’m not religious, and I know this quote comes in a few different forms, but google told me about this version so I stuck to it.)
Word count: ~2.1k
“To be fully known and truly loved is as if you are loved by the gods,” Astarion reads aloud, to no one in particular.
A silence follows, wherein his mind repeats the words he’s just read, absorbing none of them. To be fully known and truly loved… The words don’t seem to stick.
Finally deciding that the sentence isn’t worth his effort, he tosses the book onto his bedroll with a groan. “What rubbish.”
Outside of this author's haughty approach to prose, Astarion doesn’t particularly care to think too deeply about what it means to be loved– especially by any godsforsaken deities.
He has only just come around to the idea of love, not that he’s said the word ‘love’ to you just yet. It felt too much, too heavy a word to carry considering all of the other burdens the two of you bore between you. But the idea of it? Well, he was warming up to it. And with every moment shared between you, he believes he may be warming up all the more.
But what does being known have to do with love? No, that concept has him pulling his brows together, getting up from his bedroll and putting distance between himself and the drivel that Gale had recommended to him.
That’s what I get for listening to the damned wizard’s tastes, he thinks, shaking his head slightly. Some philosophical prattle, just as verbose as he is.
But even as he stands, brushes himself off, shoves the book away to the furthest corner of his tent before he makes to leave, the question of being known never escapes him.
What does it even mean to be known? he wonders, now lost in thought as he emerges from his tent. How could anyone know me, after all I’ve been through… do I even know who I am anymore?
The idea hangs over him, trails him like a storm cloud as he begins stalking about the camp you’ve all set up in the outskirts of Rivington. He’s not sure where his feet are leading him other than away– away from the distasteful book, away from away from your knowing gaze, which would only pry his thoughts out of him.
Much to Astarion’s disappointment, the trail he takes doesn’t stop the winding path his thoughts have taken.
Have I ever been known? he wonders, vaguely registering the breeze in his hair and the distant sounds of running water as he travels further and further from camp.
Perhaps I was once upon a time, but I could hardly be expected to remember now, could I? The thought is bitter and unwelcome, though likely true. He brusquely swats a branch out of his way and continues into a bramble unrepentantly. Gods, how can he bring himself to care about something as trifling as nature when he’s quite busily lost in thought right now, thank-you-very-much.
Astarion releases a sigh as he finally fights his way into a copse of trees. Secluded, finally.
Alone.
With his thoughts.
Which won’t seem to quiet despite the soft chittering of small animals, nor the sickly sweet smell of flowers in the air.
Why are some pitiful poet’s ‘words of wisdom’ even bothering me? he thinks as he lowers himself onto the trunk of a fallen tree. What’s even the use in being known?
Astarion crosses his legs in front of him, watching with narrowed eyes as his boots press into the soft grass, crushing it easily. There is no use to being known, he decides as he presses harder with one foot and the grass is further flattened. To wish that is…
His foot twists down even more firmly.
Pathetic, Astarion thinks, lifting his boot back up to see his handiwork. The grass lies flat, thoroughly smashed by him. This world is simply about being the one who tramples, and not the one being trampled.
That thought oddly comforts him. He knows the push and pull of power well enough– this dynamic is second nature to him. Like an old, threadbare blanket, it wraps around his shoulders, providing no warmth, but plenty of familiar reassurance.
It’s moments later that the blanket is wrenched from him and he’s laid bare once more, under the startling sunlight of your attention.
“Astarion?”
Your voice pierces through his thoughts, and his instinctual answering emotions are new to him. Surprise. Elation. Relief.
The vampire had been utterly unprepared to hear your voice, convinced he’d found a spot away from you all. Convinced that you wouldn’t be here with your thoughtful gaze– not now, while he’s still busy sorting through a myriad of questions. But he still can’t deny the way he welcomes your presence.
He suspects that your perceptive gaze can easily catch that, despite the way his shoulder’s tense and the way his head turns away, his ears still tilt back toward you, ready for your next words.
“Astarion, there you are,” you say. He hears the same emotions he feels in your voice. How odd it feels to be mirrored by you. He can’t deny enjoying that either. “What’s the matter? When I couldn’t find you around camp, I thought the worst might have happened."
The man scoffs, trying his best to sound unaffected by your sudden arrival, refusing to meet your inquiring gaze. “And what, pray tell, did you assume could have happened?”
“We’re practically at the Gate, Astarion. Anything could have happened. Need I remind you what happened to Dribbles?” you respond, voice tight with worry.
Ah yes. The dead clown. “It will take more than a shapeshifter to take me out, darling,” he retorts, still refusing to turn toward you, now dutifully inspecting his nails.
You let out a small huff of disapproval. “And what about Cazador?”
“I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself,” Astarion replies, though the thought of being caught unawares by Cazador bristles at him. If he did get caught, it would be entirely Gale’s fault for lending him that book… He shakes his head of white curls and continues, “Besides, I barely got more than a few dozen yards away before you came chasing after me. I could hardly be in any real danger.”
When you sigh, he finally turns to face you. The expression you give him then isn’t frustration, nor anger– it’s an unusual mixture of worry and… joy? “I couldn’t help but chase. Would it be pathetic to say that I miss you when you’re gone for too long?” you respond.
He’s not sure he has an answer to that.
Especially when he feels pathetic for how light his undead heart feels at the statement.
Astarion drops his head, avoiding your gaze, and hoping you don’t catch the startled happiness on his face.
When it’s clear he doesn’t have a response for you, you change the subject as you close the distance between you, “So, what brought you out here?”
“Nothing,” he replies, too easily. You know it’s a lie. He knows that you know it.
“Nothing, eh?” you ask, finding a seat next to him on the fallen tree. “What about that nothing has you running into the woods?”
“I was not running,” he defends, with a click of his tongue. “I was taking a brisk stroll.”
“Fine then,” you relent, elbowing his arm gently. “What about it led to a ‘brisk stroll’?”
There’s no use hiding from them, is there? he thinks, leaning back on the trunk. “I’ll tell you,” he begins, staring out into a bush. “But only if you answer a question for me.”
“Anything,” you say, and he can feel your shrug on his arm.
“Who am I, really?”
You still. Astarion had expected no less. After all, it’s not an easy question to answer– even for him. He’s putting quite a lot of undue pressure onto you with the question, it’s selfish really… but he can’t help but want to be selfish around you.
So he lets the question settle into the silence.
When you finally speak, your voice is crisp in the muted sounds of the clearing. “Promise you won’t care for me any less after I answer you?”
Astarion snaps his head back at you, his mouth turning down in a frown. “Well that depends, my dear. What are you planning to say?”
“Promise?” you press.
As if he could care any less for you– he would have done so already if he could. “I promise,” he murmurs reluctantly. “Now, please, the suspense is really too much.”
“You are Astarion,” you start, reaching out for his hand. He cautiously places his in yours, unable to hide the twitch of a smile as your warm fingers lock with his. “You’re a beautiful, elven vampire, with silver hair, and red eyes. You’re talented, witty, and…”
Your voice trails off, and Astarion can’t help but wonder why you’d been so hesitant to answer. So far, he is loving this answer.
“And you’re an absolute arse at times.”
“Excuse me?” he gasps, moving to pull his hand out of yours.
You don’t release it, but you do continue, “You laugh at the misfortune of others, you steal, you lie, you cheat at games, you can be incredibly selfish.”
“Darling, are we certain you care about me after all this?” he grumbles, giving up on fighting your grip on him as your words wash over him. He knows all of this, of course, has been entirely unashamed of it all before… but it feels different when you say it. When you lay it out plainly before him.
“Yes,” you answer quickly, tugging on his hand gently. “Because all of that makes you you. And, personally, I wouldn’t have you any other way.”
He blinks at you, confused on how you arrived at this conclusion.
“You are so unabashedly you, love. And I adore that. I know it might not feel like it after all you’ve been through… but you are still yourself. No one has been able to take that from you.”
Now Astarion stares at your intertwined hands, wondering if he deserves such impassioned, absurd words said in his defense. His voice comes quietly when he asks his next questions, “And how do I know that’s who I have always been? Who I was meant to be?”
You bring his hand up to your lips, pressing a soft, warm kiss before you continue, “Astarion, I don’t know what might have bothered you, but I want you to know that, no matter what it was, you’re amazing as the man you are. Whoever you were, whoever you think you were meant to be, you should be proud of who you are now. And… once we deal with Cazador, I hope you have the chance to rediscover that man.”
Astarion hadn’t meant this to be some kind of journey of self-discovery– really, he’d only been irked by the needless philosophy of the book Gale had lent him. But, hearing you say those words, it feels as if some weight has been lifted from his shoulders.
Worry, he realizes. Of losing who he was, of course, but also of being utterly, desolately unknown. Naturally he needn’t have worried because here you are, ready and willing to understand him. To accept and care for him, even while knowing him, flaws and all.
Maybe being known wasn’t such a burden. Not if it were by you.
“Yes, well,” he begins, suddenly unsure what to say to your earnest words. “Thank you for that, I think. Though, really, I could have done without all of the barbs. It feels like I've been struck by psychic damage.” Astarion gives a dramatic head loll, averting his flustered face.
You laugh and squeeze his hand. “Well, it’s a good thing I have no clue how to deal psychic damage, but I’ll be sure to get Gale right over if you need a good jostle to the brain.”
Gale’s done enough of that, Astarion thinks. But he doesn’t say so to you. Instead, the man simply shakes his head. “I’m quite alright. Speaking of the rest of those fools, they’ve likely begun to burn the camp down without us. Shall we head back?”
While the trek to the clearing had been filled with spiraling thoughts and matters of the self, Astarion finds that the journey back is filled with far more soft touches and kisses– Not that he minds.
In fact, he thinks with a smile, as you both walk together, practically falling into each others’ arms. Maybe this was who I was meant to be all along.
That night, once he’s settled back into his tent for bed, Astarion reads the passage once more, “To be fully known and truly loved is as if you are loved by the gods.”
Astarion is certainly no closer to believing in the gods’ willingness or ability to love him, but he could hardly care. No, he suspects that he knows what a god’s love is– after all, if you truly love him, fangs, scars, and all… well, that may very well be divine.
#astarion#astarion x tav#fanfic#astarion fic#astarion x reader#rogue + rogue#astarion fanfiction#astarion fanfic#astarion fluff#astarion x gn reader#astarion x gn!tav#baldurs gate astarion#bg3 astarion#astarion is bad at feelings#astarion comfort#spawn astarion#astarion pov
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The Silco Saga, Part Two*: Vander and Silco haunt the narrative (and are kinda gay for each other)
*This is the second (well, actually third) post in a series I’ve lovingly dubbed “The Silco Saga, a retrospective after Season 2”. It’s halfway between flow of conscience, meta, headcanon and review, spawned from my Arcane brainrot (and recent S1 rewatch) and vaguely aimed at trying to reevaluate the entirety of Arcane with a focus on my Main Man™ Silco. Here is Part 1 (on how S2 handled Silco and Jinx’s relationship) and Part 1.5 (miscellaneous thoughts regarding timeline issues and Silco’s actions towards the kids in S1ep3).
Please feel free to comment! I love hearing different perspectives on this show.
Also, quick disclaimer (just in case it wasn’t clear from the title of this post): I ship them. Don’t like, don’t read. And I swear to God, if I hear anyone say “but they’re brothers!!!1!”, know that I’m going to curse your entire genome until the thermal death of the Universe. Bye.
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Vander’s original sin
The portrayal of Vander that emerges from S1 and S2 is that of a man who is trying to do good by his people, but is plagued by guilt and shame due to the horrific acts of violence he committed in the past. S2 clearly shows us that the events of the Day of Ash and the subsequent attempted murder of his best friend/comrade/homoerotic situationship (I’m looking at you, Brokeback Mountain jackets) were intensely traumatic not just for Silco, but for Vander as well. I’ll admit I didn’t much care for him in S1 (mostly because of his goody-two-shoes aura which most of the fandom seemed to latch on to), but I think the elements S2 added to his backstory turned him into a wonderfully complex and contradictory character. It cements something I already kind of sensed about him in S1: that there’s a distinct layer of hypocrisy in Vander’s strict adherence to pacifism (to the point of inaction), which is not really a byproduct of a deeply held personal belief about the ethics of non-violence, but instead a way to cope with his guilt about Silco and the other victims of the Day of Ash revolt. Vander chooses to “atone” for his sins by suppressing all forms of violence, both internal and external, thus generating a safe but stifling environment in which the Lanes survive, but arguably cannot thrive long-term. And in line with Arcane’s tragic narrative, he gets ultimately punished for it: he’s forced to loose all that he holds dear (Silco, the kids and his peaceful little world) and to ultimately embody what he hates and fears most about himself (being a violent monster only capable of destruction).
During my first watch of S2 I couldn’t really figure out whether I liked or not the fact that Felicia’s death was the reason for Vander’s “betrayal” of Silco (it felt a bit contrived and love-triangle-y), but after giving it much thought I have decided that, in fact, I quite like it. It plays heavily into the theme of guilt being central to Vander’s character, and how this guilt really ends up snowballing into something completely unmanageable. Guilt about Felicia (and probably many others that died on that day) leads him to turn on Silco; and later, guilt about Silco ultimately makes him give up all violent means of revolution because he’s too afraid to harm the people he loves. Guilt also becomes a motivating factor for his adoption of Vi and Powder, since we now know he’s not just selflessly picking up two strays, but acting on a promise done to a dear friend who’s just died because of him. The fact that the details of his “betrayal” of Silco are kept pretty much a secret also reeks of guilt and shame. There’s this layer of selfishness and cowardice to his actions that I find very refreshing for a character that’s introduced to us as the closest thing to a paragon of virtue in all of Arcane.
It’s deeply tragic how his inability to properly deal with his past impacts the rest of the narrative; perhaps, had he told Vi the real reason for his unwillingness to rise against Piltover, and not the wishy-washy “violence bad, be responsible” speech, she would have been less rash and black-and-white in her thinking.
I wish S2 spend more time on the two sisters reflecting on Vander and Silco’s relationship. While it’s natural for us to draw parallels between the dyads Vi-Jinx and Vander-Silco, in reality their situations are quite different. There was no ‘betrayal’ between Vi and Jinx, just two grief-stricken children unable to handle an immensely tragic situation; but, due to the ‘lessons’ imparted to them from their ‘parents’ (lessons which themselves were distorted due to their own inability to deal with their past), they are led to believe their situation is as hopelessly unsolvable as it was for Vander and Silco.
The letter
I still haven’t decided on whether the letter would have worked on Silco or not. I think timing plays a big factor. The Silco we meet in arc 1 of S1 probably wouldn’t have been swayed; he’s already too set in his “rebirth” mentality, and the new man he has become doesn’t care about Vander’s sentimental platitudes. A younger Silco, with less time to crystallize into his new identity… maybe. I think the Best Timeline of S2ep7 (yes, that’s what I’m calling it) sort of implies that Silco got the letter almost immediately, given the state of his wound (and the absence of Shimmer).
I wonder if we are also meant to implicitly understand that his use of Shimmer in the Worst Timeline (a.k.a. Arcane, the Netflix show) had some kind of negative influence on his psyche. After all, Shimmer does seem to impact the emotions of its users; if it did influence Silco’s radicalization, it would make his story doubly tragic. I’ve always found his use of Shimmer an interesting tidbit in S1, and the fact that the show doesn’t explain it very much beyond using it to show the amount of trust between him and Jinx has always been very intriguing to me.
Anyway. I think that, in any case, the letter would have been only the first step in Silco and Vander’s trajectory towards reconciliation. They both have a lot of issues to unpack; I love the headcanon going around that one of Silco’s prerequisites to their “peace treaty” is for Vander to rejoin the political fight for Zaun. It sounds just so… in character for Silco to demand something like that; it acts as both a justification and a shield, preventing him to expose himself too much at the beginning, while ensuring that he and Vander remain close.
I think it was already clear in S1 that they both secretly craved to be close again, especially Silco, given how hard he still tried to convince Vander to work with him in S1ep3. (Which is kind of insane of him, if you think about it, but I guess working closely with the man who tried to murder you — and almost succeeded — kinda fits into his whole “almost dying turned me into an Übermensch” philosophy?) Now, with Vander’s letter in S2, we know for a fact the feeling was mutual. Which is, again, horribly tragic for them both, because they’re both so set in their respective ways that actual reconciliation is made impossible.
And they were miners (oh my God they were miners)
Since we’re already kind of on the topic of whether or not Zaundads is real (or just the fruit of our collective hallucination), let’s give to Caesar wha belongs to Caesar: I don’t think the writers meant for them to turn out that way. Their dialogue doesn’t particularly strike me as hinting to anything beyond a very close friendship.
… The animators, however? Those French fucks (affectionate) knew what they were doing. The imagery of the jackets stored one inside the other cannot be a coincidence. There’s really no other cinematic parallel I can think of that doesn’t ultimately lead back to Brokeback Mountain. They were insane for that, and I’m deeply thankful to their perverted French minds (extremely affectionate) that they had the balls to just… put it there. No further comment. Just a glaring nod to the gayest movie ever.
(Also, Brokeback Mountain’s most iconic quote — “I wish I knew how to quit you” — perfectly applies to Vander and Silco. They just can’t seem to let each other go. Silco is still harping on about Vander years after he died. Vander can’t even bear to mention Silco in S1, and the moment they meet again the first thing he blurts out is “I’m sorry”, right after Silco murdered his friend — RIP king Benzo, you didn’t deserve it — in front of him. They match each other’s freak so well, I tell you.)
And then Silco’s scene in the Best Timeline. Just… the touching. The tenderness. The affection. Benzo going “ack!” at them while they gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes. It’s just… chef’s kiss. No further comment. Is it, perhaps, self indulgent? Yes. Is Silco’s line about forgiveness cheesy and a bit out of left field? Yes. Do I wish Ekko had more time to ask him what he meant by that, and get in on their backstory (since it would have been deeply meaningful for him too, given how much he idolizes Vander)? Yes.
(Someone please write me fanfiction of this scene. I beg you. I would do it myself but I lack the talent.)
Would I also watch 10 seasons of them being gay married and doing the most irrelevant domestic nonsense? Shamelessly. My poor blorbos deserve it.
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Working on part 2 of Beginnings, but until then here’s a small interlude. You can read the first bit here Part One
“Are you excited to start high school?” Steve feels like every lame adult he’s ever known, but he’s been wanting to have this conversation for a while now, preferably before his gang of nerds walk unprepared into his alma mater.
“I mean, sure.” Dustin says. “They have an amazing media lab and the AP science teachers are supposed to be really good. It’s never too early to think about college! Uh, sorry Steve.”
“Alright, shut it. If I had a brain like yours maybe I’d be in college now.” Steve rolls his eyes affectionately.
“And I heard Nancy say there’s an after-school club for D&D, so that might be okay. I mean, it won’t be as good without Will there but…” Mike trails off, a frown settling on his face.
“Yeah, okay I guess your demons and dingbats thing could be good.” Steve feels vaguely uneasy. Something to do with that club...it probably doesn't matter.
“Well, I’m also trying out for the basketball team.” Lucas adds softly.
“My man!!” Steve grins and holds his hand up for a high five. “I’m around if you want to get some practice in before tryouts. And I've got an in with the coach if you want me to put in a good word for you.”
“Nice! I'm always up for more practice!" Lucas grins back matching Steve's enthusiasm.
"And nepotism," retorts Dustin.
"Okay, brain boy. I don't know what that is, but it sounds gross and we don't have it." Steve smirks and cocks his head before remembering this was supposed to be a serious conversation.
"Anyway...I just wanted to talk to you guys about sticking together and always having each-other's backs." Steve starts and Dustin, of course interrupts, "Obviously, Steve. Who do you think we are?"
"No, man, I know. It's just that it can be pretty intimidating and the bullying can be...more intense than what you're used to in Middle School." Steve conceeds.
"Like you'd know anything about being bullied!" snorts Mike, "You were the bully."
"Uh...well." Steve doesn't want to scare the kids, but he does want them to be prepared. "I was kind of an asshole for a while..."
"Ya think?" Dustin chimes in.
"Shut up and let me talk!" Steve says in his best mom voice. "I had to learn to be harder in school. My freshman year this older kid made me his target and it was pretty awful. It got so bad I didn't even want to go to school half the time."
"That really sucks, man." Lucas gives Steve a supportive look.
"Aw, what, did he call you names? Make fun of your hair?" Mike sneers. He can't help but run his mouth sometimes. He likes Steve well enough, but not like Dustin and Lucas do and he can't stand how they worship him sometimes. Steve isn't that great.
"Dude. He pulled a knife on me for like, no reason. I was fourteen."
"Woah" Dustin just exhales. "So like, is high school....dangerous?" All three boys are seriously paying attention now, eyes wide.
"Nah, not normally. Anyway, it got better once I was deep in with the guys on the basketball team. So I'm just saying. Find a group that has your back. And you guys look out for other kids too, all right? And tell ME if anyone bothers you. I've got a bat that can sort them out."
"Dude....you can't just nailbat a teenager." Dustin snorts.
"I dunno, squirt," Steve ruffles Dustin's hair and he yelps ducking away, "If I find out anyone is messing with you guys....well, maybe not the nail bat, but just...promise to tell me okay? I don't want anyone of you going through what I did."
"We promise." They all chime dutifully.
"Hellfire!" Mike shouts as they all turn to look at him like he's got three heads. "What?" he says, "That's the name of the club."
"Hellfire." Steve mutters. Why does that name make his stomach hurt? He'll probably remember later. Meanwhile he's glad his twerps are going to have a good support system when they start school.
Read Part One, Part Two, Part Three
Tag list (ask if you want to be tagged for the full part 2) @swimmingbirdrunningrock @phirex22 @lilpomelito @thaliaisalesbian
#Beginnings part 1.5#Steve talks about the bullying#Hope no one mentions this to Eddie#Steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#the party
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“Hey now, don’t you start questioning me too.” — Elvis Presley x reader
Summary: your mama is pretty insistent (in a loving, supportive way) on you and Elvis making it serious and going steady with him, but you’re not at that point yet. His is too, and you talk about it on the phone after you hang out. Part 2 here
Pairing: Elvis or Austin!elvis x reader
Word count: 600
Warnings: fluff!! Probably typos though SORRY
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You had just gotten home from your evening with Elvis, the warmth of your home chasing away the chill of the cold evening. With a contented sigh, you shrug off your coat and hang it neatly on the rack.
“Hi, sweetheart.” Your dad called to you from the living room, hearing you come in. Both of your parents were sitting on the couch watching tv.
“Hi mama, hi daddy.” You replied cheerfully, kicking your shoes off by the door before going to the living room to join them.
“I put your clean washing on your bed, darling, it just needs to be put away.” Your mom informed you with a warm smile.
“Oh, thank you,” you replied gratefully.
“Not a problem. Are those flowers by your bed from Elvis?” she inquired with a knowing smile.
���Yeah, they are,” you smiled, feeling a blush creep up on your cheeks.
“What’s the occasion? Did we forget your birthday?” Your dad teased, playfully.
You laughed, “no occasion. Just because, I guess.”
“Mmm,” your mother hummed, “are you two going steady then?” She prodded further.
“Mom! No.” You rolled your eyes blithely.
“Oh, well, I’m sure he’ll ask you soon. How was your date, anyway?” Your mom teased you some more, as you sunk down on the couch beside her.
“It wasn’t really a date, we were just hanging out.”
“Did he kiss ya? That’s a date if he did.”
“Mama stop!” Your cheeks burnt bright red, “enough with the questions,” you say, trying to deflect her curiosity. “I promise, if anything changes between me and Elvis, you’ll be the first to know.”
Your mom laughs, a knowing glint in her eye. “Oh, I’m sure I’d find out sooner or later,” she says with a nudge. “His mama and I have a way of keeping each other informed.”
You shake your head, unable to suppress a smile at the thought of the close bond between your two families. Despite the teasing and the questions, you know that your parents only want the best for you, and their support means the world to you.
Later that night you sat in bed, on the phone to Elvis.
You leaned back against your pillow, “Oh, she’s relentless! Next she’ll wanna know what color panties I wear, and how many minutes we spend making eye contact,” you joked, recounting the evening’s playful interrogation to Elvis.
He chuckled softly on the other end of the line, “mine wan’t much better. Mama keeps hollering and nagging at me.”
You couldn’t help but laugh at the image. “Well, what did you tell her?” you pressed, unable to resist the temptation to know.
“Hey now, don’t you start questioning me too,” Elvis teased, his voice filled with mock indignation, “I just told her ‘When the time’s right, whatever happens will happen.’”
Your heart twisted a little at his vague response, but you chose to ignore it. The two of you chatted for a while longer, exchanging stories and sharing laughter over inside jokes. Eventually, though, it was time to say your goodnights.
“I wish I could be there with you right now,” Elvis murmured softly, his voice filled with sincerity.
“I know, Elvis. I wish you were here too,” you replied, feeling a pang of sadness.
It was hard to get to sleep that night. You couldn’t stop thinking about that vague, non-answer he gave. You really were hoping he’d give you a hint that he did want something serious with you. Eventually though, you managed to drift off, your overthinking tiring you out.
Little did you know, he was very purposeful in leading you astray, not wanting you to have the slightest idea he was planning on making it official very soon.
Anyone up for a part 2 where he asks you to go steady finally??
#Elvis Presley#elvis fanfic#elvis film#elvis imagine#elvis presley x yn#elvis presley x y/n#elvis presley x you#elvis presley x reader#elvis presley fic#elvis presley fanfiction#elvis presely smut#elvis x y/n#elvis x you#elvis x reader#reader x elvis presley#reader x elvis#you x elvis#you x elvis presley#yn x elvis presley#yn x elvis#y/n x elvis presley#y/n x elvis#army elvis#50s elvis#elvisaaronpresley#austin butler elvis#austin!elvis x y/n#austin!elvis x reader#austin!elvis fic#Austin butler
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Who You Are - Wade Wilson x platonic!Reader
A/N: So, I don’t really have a reason for writing this, other than I’ve seen some pretty unkind discourse lately about trans boys and men. And it hurts sometimes, you know? So I wrote this as much for me as I wrote this for anyone else who needs it
I wrote this with a teenage!Reader in mind. If anyone wants a version with an adult!Reader, let me know bc I’m more than happy to help spread more appreciation and positivity
Written for an ftm!Reader
The warnings for this one are a little vague, so let me know if I missed anything, please!
CW: lying, crying, Wade and Logan are dating in this, Logan is not quite Reader’s parent but it’s close, insecurity, emotional hurt/comfort, online hatred and discourse, hugging, Wade calls Reader ‘little prince’, soft ending, this one made me cry so be warned
553 words
“Logan?” You hesitantly knock on his door, peeking into his room. There’s a muffled grunt and a groan and then footsteps.
“Hey, little prince. What’re you doing awake?” It’s Wade, all bleary-eyed and yawning.
You hug your arms across your chest, looking down. “… No reason…”
He sees through your lie in a moment. He steps out of the room and gently shuts the door, crouching down to your level. “Hey, what’s going on?”
He gives you a little nudge, soft and lightly playful. “Did your period come early?”
You crack a smile, but it quickly fades. “No, I, um…”
You falter. You’ve only known Wade for a short amount of time; he hasn’t been Logan’s boyfriend for very long. But you’ve always had a good feeling about him. And he’s been accepting of you so far. So maybe… he can be trusted.
You take a deep breath and immediately hate the tears that prick at your eyes. “I just— I saw something online and it just—“
He doesn’t say anything. He just wraps you in a hug. You cling to him, trying so hard to not cry. It’s a futile effort, though. The tears come anyway.
“It’s just—“ you sniffle. “I’m… not a bad person, right? For not being a girl?”
Wade stiffens for a moment, then pulls back. “Of course not! Little prince, you’re not a bad person at all! Who said that?”
You shake your head. “I see it online sometimes. People hating on boys like me because we’re not girls. And it just—“ Your voice gets quiet. “It hurts sometimes.”
Wade’s expression changes rapidly. Anger, outrage, determination, and finally, something softer. “You’re perfect the way you are, little prince. If he were awake, Wolvie would say the same thing. Don’t listen to what those others are saying. You’re not bad or wrong or anything for being who you are.”
The tears come harder. You bury your face against his shoulder and cry. You cry until his sleeve is tear-stained and snotty, until all your tears dry up and your breathing turns to hiccups.
Wade gently rubs your back, letting you sob. He whispers quiet assurances, promising you that you are loved by him and Logan and everyone who truly knows you. It helps. More than you thought it would.
It feels cathartic, in a way. You’ve been stressing and hurting over other people’s words for so long, it feels relieving to hear some words of comfort.
After a long while, you pull back and rub at your salt-burned eyes. “Thank you.”
Wade gives you a smile. “Anytime, little prince. You’re always safe with me. No matter who says what, you’re perfect as you are.”
You manage a watery smile back. Your heart feels warm. Weak from the crying, but warm from his words.
Wade pats your shoulder. “Come on. You can snuggle with Wolvie and me. I’ll tell you a story or something.”
Your smile widens, still small but genuine. You follow him into the bedroom, taking a big deep breath. Logan loves you the way you are. Wade loves you the way you are.
There’s still lingering hurt in your chest, but it’s smoothing out. You have people in your life who appreciate who you are, really truly.
And that means more than anything anyone else could say.
#deadpool#wade wilson#ftm!reader#trans male reader#dividers by saradika#deadpool x trans male reader#deadpool x ftm!reader#deadpool x you#deadpool x reader#deadpool x wolverine#deadpool x ftm reader#wade wilson x ftm!reader#logan howlett x wade wilson#wade wilson x logan howlett#wade wilson x you#wade wilson x reader#wade wilson x trans male reader#wade wilson x ftm reader#wolverine x deadpool#x ftm reader#ftm reader#x trans male reader#x transmasc reader#transmasc reader#trans reader#x trans reader#x ftm!reader#emotional hurt/comfort
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try again
part 0.10. TO BE HUMAN
she adored the human mind. she wasn't quite sure why, but she liked how unique it was. every mind was different and despite being someone who loved to be in control, she loved that the human mind could not be tamed. it's impossible to stop the way it loves or thinks. as she walks through the city with him, her steps feel easy. her path to this moment hasn't been the easy straightforward one by any means, but perhaps life isn't about the happy ending. rather, it's about finding what it means to be the traveler. the adventurer. the voyager."
content warnings: talk about death and parental issues. one vague mention to someone taking their own life. ness is having an existential crisis. omi and yn are (unofficially) on their first date <3
a therapy session they'd had weeks before summed up a lot of what she'd been feeling recently;
“you know, in our last year of high school, it didn’t really feel all that exciting to me.”
she likes that he can say our. she likes him. it’s that simple.
“everyone made it out to be this exciting once-in-a-lifetime period in our lives. but it didn't feel that way. i just felt loss. and everyone was dying. i mean— not everyone, but it was like everyone around me was experiencing some sort of death. a family member had died, a friend had died, someone i’d never even heard of had taken their life, and it was weird." he trails off, unsure of how else to explain his thoughts but she gets it.
“and even if it wasn’t them losing their life, during that last year of school, there were a lot of people who were dying to themselves,” she follows up. “a lot of people trying to figure out who they were, and realizing they didn’t know who they were, but time kept going. as kids, we grow up thinking one day in the future, we’ll know exactly what to do with ourselves and we'll know how to live life like all the other adults we saw growing up. but then you turn 19 and realize you still don’t know what’s going on. you keep waiting for a revelation, but it never comes.”
he holds her gaze for a moment, and it just feels like they’re looking through each other. like they don’t even need words to communicate. they already know everything about each other. “exactly. it never came, and i was scared it was just me who felt this way. then i kept hearing about more and more people dying, and it–” he pauses, thinking of how he wants to word it. he knows what he wants to say, but he’s scared to say it in front of her, ironically.
“don't think about it, just say what you want to,” she urges gently, “i’m not going to judge you, sakusa. i'm just here to listen”
“it scared me,” the words come out before he can even realize it. the statement was hard to say, but once it slipped out of his mouth, he felt lighter. “i was worried that this was all life was. just watching and hearing more and more people die. it was nothing like anyone made it out to be. nothing about growing up, moving out, anything exciting. just a bunch of people who are older and have jobs and their old enough that people start dying. i know it’s a part of life, but i guess i just thought i’d start actually experiencing people near me dying when i was an adult, you know? like when i was at least 30 years old or something. not in my last year of high school. but no one gives a shit. we’re all basically told we’re adults and if we don't feel like it, to grow the hell up. except none of us know what that means. i never woke up one day feeling like an adult. every day just feels like i’m pretending to know what’s going on. i was in the shoes of the third years i looked up to when i was a first year, and i could only go about my days wondering if they felt as lost as i did.”
“i promise you they did,” she validates. “it’s somewhat a part of the culture surrounding us, and how quickly society wants you to become a functioning member contributing to its structure, but the entire idea of a functioning society is dehumanizing. everyone’s just a human, and they live and they die. as we grow up, we learn more, and gain more experience, but even the third years when you were a first year still messed up. they still asked questions. they didn’t know everything yet, just like you didn’t when you became a third year. and there were first years that looked up to you when you were a third year just like you previously had. then they became third years. do you see what i’m getting at?” she asks and he nods, continuing to listen. “when we look up to someone, we don’t see a lot of their faults. we see so many things that they may think is a flaw as beauty, and that’s just because we love the person. so maybe you don’t remember your third years ever messing up, but that doesn’t mean they’re perfect. they were perfect in your head and there's no harm in looking up to someone, but you're still your own person. you'll never be exactly like any of the third years you looked up to, but that doesn't mean you're a failure or below them. i’m sure if you reached out to them now, or even just asked someone like the coach for your team if they have their life figured out, they’ll laugh and say no. but they can laugh because you’re not supposed to have your life figured out by any certain age.” she was going on a bit of a tangent now, but she was trying her best to explain the philosophy of a topic no one knew the true answer to in her own words to the man in front of her. “i don’t really know if anyone ever figures out their life, but i think the important thing we all have to aim to do is not to find out what’s going on, but just to find people to struggle with. find people that help you carry your burdens, help them carry theirs, and have fun with them. surround yourself with people who remind you that it’s okay not to know what the hell’s going on, and to make mistakes.”
he’d need to make a note of what she’d just said later. and he wanted to apply what she explained to their own relationship. he wanted to help her carry her burdens, just like how she was helping carry his.
now they’re sitting in a diner near to where her office is located. it’s not busy, despite it being just past 6. she’s sipping on a mug of tea while a cup of black coffee sits in front of him, and they’re waiting for the rest of the rest of their food.
similar to how she’d felt the first time she’d seen him in her office after so many years, despite him sitting straight and tall across from her at a diner table, she didn’t see him like a full-grown adult. she saw him as the friend she’d grown up with years through her childhood and school years. and she was sure she appeared the same to him.
how strange it was, to be human. to ask or pay another human to listen to your struggles and ask them for advice when they can’t be sure of anything either. none of them can control even a single hair on their head, and yet humans have been entrusted with so much. how strange it felt to be an adult, to be where she dreamed of being all alone. to be alone at a table with a friend, without the worry of a curfew, or to have a parent or anyone else sitting next to them.
it was just him and her, and he was all she needed.
she’d remained silent about what was bothering her for most of the walk here. in between those moments where she'd opened up was silence or anything small they could think of to talk about. after they’d ordered and he promised he wanted to listen, the air between them was left silent. he was waiting for her, and then she finally spoke up,
“around when we got distant, my mother left and my father only got worse than he already was. he was always angry at me or trying to guilt trip me because I was the only person left in his life. i didn't stay willingly. i just couldn't leave yet. and it’s–” she had to close her eyes as she talked, trying to keep herself calm and steady, “it was easy for him to guilt trip me. because i still felt bad for him even though everyone had left him for a reason. he just looked so miserable. and i was miserable. i got out of there the moment i could but he still wouldn’t leave me alone. i blocked him on every single platform possible him and he still showed up at my apartment so i moved. then he found me again and my roomates kicked me out so i came to osaka for an internship and i’ve been here ever since. and i’ve just started feeling kind of good where i am, with the people i’m living with, and i found you again. but i’ve been freaked out all day because he called me this morning. i don’t know how he found my number, but i’m scared, sakusa. i don’t want to leave again.”
“then don’t,” he says back as if the solution is simple.
she looks up at him in disbelief, “but what am i supposed to do? if he finds me again, he’ll keep showing up just like last time. my roommates now said they were there to help me, but what if they get tired of me?” her pulse is beating so fast she can feel it in her neck and chest and she doesn’t have the time to overthink anything she’s saying,
“[y/n]. you know the kind of people they are. i know iwaizumi well and i can tell you that he at the very least would never leave you. no one’s going to get sick of you," something keeps her from looking away from him, and he holds her gaze as he continues to talk, "you told me to surround myself with people who remind me it’s not the end of the world if i mess up, and i think that you’ve done that for yourself whether you realize it or not. not everyone is terrible like your old roomates. the ones you have now are all there to help you. they want to help you. they’re there to stay and so am i. if you need even more help or if you don’t want to go back to your apartment, you can always stay over at mine. or call me over. iwaizumi or i could beat your father’s ass so he never comes back.”
she laughs at his ending joke. it wouldn’t even take both of the strongest men she knows to beat up a single alcoholic man, just one of them. she’d been terrified of her father ever since she could remember, but when she thinks about her friends being able to punch her dad in the face, maybe he’s not so scary. she has people who could fight back against him if she can’t. “i’d like that,” she muses, starting to plan out how the entire situation would go, “although if you came over to beat him up, there’s no way iwaizumi’s letting you do it on your own. and shinsuke would probably help too. or at least stare him down which torturous enough on its own. akaashi would keep me company inside.”
sakusa’s smiling too, now, “sounds like we have it all mapped out already. see? you're just fine. if we somehow need even more backup against a single man, the rest of my team will scare him off.”
“please,” she laughs, waving him off, “hinata and bokuto sound like monsters together, and atsumu would only add to the wall of you and iwaizumi.”
"hinata and bokuto are monsters. even to the people they love– especially to the people they love,” he rolls his eyes as he talks, letting the conversation go quiet between them for a second. then, he taps her hand, which she's laid on the table between them, “but i mean it, don’t be afraid to call me, okay? iwaizumi has my number too, if you need.”
“okay, i will, thank you,” she says, starting to believe him. she's starting to believe everything will be fine, and that she's safe.
when their food comes, she begins to think differently from how she did when he was standing in front of her at the door of her office. if she could go back in time, she doesn’t think she would change anything. she likes how she’s reconciled with sakusa, how they’ve caught up, and how the world led them back to each other again.
maybe things will be okay. and like he said, maybe she’s found her people. maybe she’s found her roots.
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extras <3
here is a second song that i feel resonates very much with this little chapter
if i fail my sociology final i'm sending my teacher this chapter bc at least whatever tf I learned in that class started spilling out here
i'm terribly sorry for how philosophical i get but also not really
as you can tell i am projecting a lot onto this fic
i didn't actually mean for these last two chapters to focus so much on death but it's just how i've been thinking recently (not about death but like growing up and the fear of all that blah blah blah i'm ok dw) and hopefully some people relate to that and this makes them feel a little better :)
but also i liked that both omi and y/n are having these worries and fears about the future and all that!
hmmmmm
i'm not actually crazy for how this story is going to end but maybe it's just me !
this is the second to last chapter <3
also ofc the diner omi and yn went to is the ravens eye diner!!!!! (shameless plug for the loml mo <3)
taglist: @eggyrocks @wyrcan @guitarstringed-scars @strawberryuri @violetesensou @kakeru-eem @glmge @heytheredemonsss @mollyrolls @bemebiu @daszy @snail-squasher @0moonii @thiisisntlovely @todorokiskitten @rory-cakes @iiwaijime @iatethemochi @yuminako @savemebrazilhinata @kismyscars @bokutoko @nobodybutnnoorr @wolffmaiden @daisy-room @softpia @lees-chaotic-brain @v3nusplanetofluv @crispchocolates @phoenix-eclipses @hhoneyhan @encrypta @rockleeisbaeeee @cr4yolaas @zombriesworld @localgaytrainwreck @moucheslove @hibernatinghamster @notverymarley @certaindreampost @akaakeis @ciderscape @lucien-luna @strawbrinkofdeath @wave2mia @samuel1004 @01trickster10 @dazqa @cosmiicdust @chemiru (form to be added to taglist! <3)
#sakusa kiyoomi#kiyoomi sakusa#sakusa#omi#sakusa x reader#omi x reader#kiyoomi x reader#sakusa kiyoomi x reader#sakusa smau#sakusa x reader smau#omi x reader smau#kiyoomi smau#kiyoomi x reader smau#sakusa kiyoomi smau#sakusa kiyoomi x reader smau#sakusa comfort#haiykuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x reader smau#haikyuu smau#hq#hq x reader#hq smau#ness' planet ⋆⭒˚.⋆
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if you’re taking requests can you do fred x artist!reader maybe? it’s okay if not though! (:
Hi love! Let me start by saying I’m sorry that this completely took on a life of its own. I started writing and I couldn’t stop, too engrossed in the story. I wasn’t sure what kind of art you wanted to include so I made the reader a painter/ designer and an all round creative. I’ve sobbed writing this and I’ve even had to split it into two parts because I’ve fallen down a hole and written over 8 thousand words, not joking.
I hope you enjoy! I shall now go and rest 😂🖤
Part 2 will be posted HERE once it is uploaded.
Warnings: ANGST. Sadness, breakups, illusions to cheating, breakup references. Happy ending I promise! Talks of marriage, proposals, Hagrid and his creatures, Fang being the goodest boy. Lots of tears and sadness but it gets better! Not beta read nor spellchecked, apologies for any mistakes. Timeline is a little wonky (picturing it OOTP just before the twins departure but there’s no war/no Umbridge)
Word count: 4.9k [Part 1&2= 8.2k] 😬
The Artist and the Entrepreneur part 1
You walked into your dorm in an exhausted slump, trying desperately not to sigh too loudly of our sheer exhaustion in order to not wake your dorm mates. It was nearly 11:30pm by the time you had made it back to the dorms, having to wake and then calm down the fat lady who was not willing to listen to your explanation of why you were out so late. You needed to bathe and get to sleep, ready for classes the next morning but you could barely function, trying desperately to summon the energy to undress and make your way to the bathrooms. It was a necessary evil but it had to be done and so you dragged your near-lifeless body to the bathroom and began running a bath, which thankfully filled up quickly with almost perfect temperature water. You grimaced as you peeled the uniform away from your body, wincing at a particularly nasty wound on your right forearm which you would attempt to heal after you'd bathed. Your hands were covered in paint, mud and whatever else had made their way under your nails, arms littered with paint splatters and other vague marks.
Sinking down into the water, you forced yourself to stay awake feeling suddenly soothed by the warm water, both physically and mentally. It had been a hard couple of weeks, stretched beyond your means as your timetable suddenly doubled. You were tired, exhausted and still there was another week to go of this madness, but it would all worth it on the end.
You dried quickly, assisting yourself with a flick of your wand and dressed into your pyjamas, hardly managing to scoop up your dirty uniform on your way back to bed.
5am came much quicker than you'd have liked. It was almost as if you'd closed your eyes and opened them again only a minute later. You crawled out of bed trying again to stay silent and reached for the clean set of uniform and robes on the chair beside your bed, kicking the lump of dirty uniform under your bed to deal with later. You slipped into the bathrooms to dress so that you wouldn't wake anyone and slipped down to the common room, pray in that you didn't see anyone on the way. You cast a glance at the boys dormitory staircase and felt a stab of sorrow thinking of Fred and how you'd barely seen him in the past two weeks. You were often gone before breakfast and not back until well past curfew, not that either of the twins ever abided by the rules.
"Oh shush," you said to the fat lady who had begun her usual spiel of sounding the alarm due to you being out of bed out of hours, not listening nor remembering the speech you'd given everyday for the past two weeks as you attempted to sneak out. You couldn't afford to be discovered by the prefects nor any teachers roaming the corridors, as above board as your mission was- you couldn't risk Fred finding out what you were doing.
Sunlight shone through the windows as you made your way around the castle, holding back a shiver at the coldness of the castle in the late March morning, your robes doing very little to shield you from the chill. You crept out of the castle and marvelled at the beautiful first rays of daylight peaking through the trees of the forbidden forest. You looked ahead and saw that smoke was billowing from the chimney of Hagrid's hut, the only sign of life against the otherwise serene backdrop of the forbidden forest. You made your way slowly, enjoying the peaceful walk down to the hut, hoping that Hagrid had put the kettle on in anticipation of your arrival.
"Morning y/n!" Hagrid says with a wide smile, bustling around in the small hut, much too awake for this time in the morning. Fang in stark contrast lay slumped in his bed and half asleep, continuously disturbed by Hagrid's banging. A steaming cup of tea lay waiting for you on the table and you thank him graciously, taking a soothing sip of the hot liquid. You look at the clock on the wall beside the window as see that it's nearly half 5 now, the sun rising in the sky and greeting an almost ethereal light across the magnificent castle, a sight that still amazed you even seven years later.
"Beautiful isn't it?" Hagrid asks, noticing you gazing up at the castle and you share a smile for a moment, the tiredness having faded now thanks to the alarmingly strong cup of tea that you'd now become accustomed to.
"Ready to get to work now?" He asks, watching you drain the last of the tea from the large mug. You try to hide your disappointment from being dragged out once again to the edge of the forest, knowing that you'd signed up for this. You nod with a smile, navigating around the large table as you move towards to door behind Hagrid. You shoot a look towards Fang, wanting to give him a parting stroke but you notice quickly that he's fallen back to sleep and so you leave him alone to snooze, wishing that you could too.
It was nearly half 8 when you walked into the great hall, taking a brief detour to the bathrooms as you washed your hands and to hide any evidence of your morning. Your early start was already catching up to you and you hid a yawn behind the sleeve of your robe as you walked through the doors of the great hall. You checked your robe one last time for any signs of evidence but thankfully you were clear, noticing only a moment later when you took you'll place at the table that there was a great dollop of pint upon your shoe.
"Here she is," George says from across the table, nodding his head towards you as you climbed onto the bench beside Ron in the gap between him and Neville.
"Switch with Y/n Ronald," Fred says from beside him without a hint of a please. Knowing he won't get any manners out of his older brother, Ron complies and shifts up to allow you to sit beside your boyfriend.
"Thanks Ron," you say, trying to hold off the yawn that was threatening to break free at any moment.
"Morning beautiful, you're late," Fred says, his hand slipping across your back as you pour yourself a large glass of pumpkin juice. He frowns at the coldness of your robes beneath his fingers but doesn't say anything. "You overlay again?"
"Yeah," you lie, feeling immediately guilty about the fact. "Snape's set us a load of work, took me ages to figure it out last night. Didn't get a lot of sleep." As if to prove your point, the yawn you'd been suppressing finally escapes with so much force that it makes your eyes water.
You manage to force down some toast, staying quiet as the conversation continues around you. The first bell rings and you barely hold back a sigh, detesting the fact that you'd have to get up again.
"I can walk you to potions?" Fred says, holding his hand out to help you off the bench. You're quick to conceal the paint on your shoe and if he notices, he doesn't say anything.
"And have you late for charms again?" You counter, raising an eyebrow at your boyfriend who just shrugs completely unfazed.
"Haven't seen you much lately, thought you'd been avoiding me."
His words feel like a stab directly to your heart, knowing that you were guilty of avoiding him, though it wasn't in a negative way. Your craved the time with him, of mischief in the late hours and spontaneous moments in hidden corridors and empty classrooms.
"I promise I'm not," you say with a smile, trying to vanquish his idea completely as you lean up to press a kiss to his full lips. His arms immediately grab your waist as he pulls you in for a deeper kiss that borders on inappropriate but you relent, unable to resist after not seeing him properly for so long.
"So, potions?" Fred smirks, pulling away. You chuckle, placing your hands on his chest.
"For me? Yes. For you? No, get to charms," you order playfully, leaning up to give him one last peck on the lips before turning away. "See you at lunch!"
You can hear his boyish chuckle as you walk away down the corridor in the opposite direction of him, praying that he would be entirely too focused on the swishing of your behind and that the paint on your shoe would go entirely unseen.
By lunch you were completely exhausted, too tired to even notice the suspicious side-eyes from the identical twins as they watched you poke around at your food and down a second cup of very strong tea, having outwardly complained that the first one was too weak. Uncharacteristically for them, they said nothing and continued to chatter amongst themselves, keeping the conversation open for you though you didn't give much imput.
"Fancy the black lake tonight, after hours?" Fred whispers in your ear, knowing even without looking that a smirk would be tugging at his lips. You inwardly grimaced, cursing your ridiculous secret plan as you wished more than anything that you could join him. You were running out of excuses now, finding it hard to keep track with what you'd already lied about.
"I can't tonight, got an essay for snape in the morning I've still not finished," you say with a guilty expression, almost wincing as the words too-effortlessly tumble out of your mouth. "Friday night I promise?"
He seems put out almost instantly, never one to be able to conceal his emotions well. He looks frustrated, confused and rejected within seconds of each other and gives a halfhearted nod at your counter offer of Friday instead.
The bell rings signalling the end of lunch and you hope for a kiss before parting but lose all hope when you feel his lips briefly brush your hairline and he runs off to catch up with George and Angelina.
You avoided the common room after classes, choosing instead to sneak down to Hagrid's a little early, thankful for Thursday evening Quidditch practice which meant that you wouldn't cross paths with Fred.
"Y/n, I'm nipping out tomorrow on dumbledores orders, think you could nip down and check in everything while I'm gone?" Hagrid says as you out dutifully complete your given task, hoping to get it done quickly so you could try and salvage a bit of time tonight for Fred. His questions throws you off for long enough that you feel a hot gust of fire breezing past your right ear, followed by a burning sensation in the same spot. He's quick to act and gets you out of harms way before any more damage is done whilst you remain slightly frozen in both fear and contemplation. You knew you couldn't say no, in debt to his generosity and so you simply nodded, already dreading the implications of your acceptance.
It's late once again when you arrive at the common room, only half an hour til curfew, and despite your attempts at hiding your tiredness and attempting to appear happy and neutral, you can't help but feel the guilt swirling in your gut when you see Fred and George pedalling their products to the younger students with wide smiles on their faces and still dressed in their quidditch uniforms. You sneak up to Fred once he's done with a sale and slip behind him, placing your hand on his shoulder to alert him to your presence.
Only, when he turns around his smile slowly fades upon realisation that it's you and your heart immediately begins to break, knowing that it was the other way round. He doesn't instantly reach out for you with his big grabby hands like usual nor does he attempt to kiss you. You try and salvage the situation, putting more effort in, trying to be as normal as possible but he seems to see right through the act.
"Wanna sneak out? I hear the black lake is beautiful this time of night." You say with a smirk, trying desperately to mask your tiredness and to hold it together. He doesn't jump at the chance as you hoped and instead casts a cursory glance to George before turning back to you.
"Can't tonight, got to restock the snack boxes with George," he says, briefly touching your hand before a third year calls his name, hand outstretched ready to buy one of his creations. Your stomach sinks, knowing that it's a lie and the irony of the situation only seems to hurt you more as you feel your eyes well up with fresh tears. You excuse yourself immediately, not even greeting your friends who you can tell are watching the tense exchange and you hope more than anything that no one follows you. You're completely depleted with exhaustion, running on hardly any sleep and completely overworked by your own doing. Suddenly the outcome didn't seem worth it and you regretted ever starting, finding your idea foolish.
You let your tears flow as you shower, passively washing away the fresh marks from the day off your arms, the clear gel and the colourful spatters draining away down the plug hole with your tears. You wince in pain when the water falls directly onto the freshly wounded skin behind your ear and your neck, execrating yourself for missing that spot despite Hagrid's warnings.
Too tired and upset to face going back down to the common room, you give up and reward yourself with an early night, though you feel anything but rewarded.
5am came around once more and more than ever you begrudgingly pulled yourself from the warm bed and slipped into the bathroom, the reminder of Fred's rejection playing on your mind from the second your eyes opened. Had you dreamt about it? Either way his reaction was firmly imprinted on your mind and you couldn't get away from how desperately painful it was to have him reject you like that. You slipped out of the common room on autopilot, closing the door with a little too much force already anticipating the fat lady's usual ranting and slumped off towards Hagrid's hut. The skies looked as sombre and sorrowful as you felt, covering the sky in a dull grey hue that seemed to dull the normally beautiful sunrise. You were quiet this morning, not rude or impolite but simply quiet as you worked alongside Hagrid, consumed by your foreboding thoughts knowing that you would still have to cancel Fred tonight, if he even cared anymore.
Once your morning jobs were complete, you decline any further invite to stay and decide instead to sneak back into the castle for breakfast, hoping you could join your friends and boyfriend like usual. Breakfast had only just begun when you walked into the great hall, having made your usual stop off at the girls bathrooms on the way and you're not surprised when the only person sat at the table is Hermione who's already got her head down in a book. She lifts her head up to greet you happily as you sit opposite her at the table, beginning to place her bookmark on the page she's on but you tell her not to, to enjoy the peace whilst she can. She shoots you a grateful smile and you sit enjoying your second cup of tea in peace, thankful you could make this happen today. You knew it was at the expense of your other jobs and you'd most certainly pay for it in the long run but having half of the morning to reset still felt good.
"Morning," Angelina says as a sits down at the table next to Hermione who this time only says a passive greeting, much too engrossed in her book. Angelina reached immediately for a glass of pumpkin juice before rubbing her eyes and yawning at the early hour.
"Not been sleeping well?" You ask with relative concern for your friend, watching her yawn for a second time within seconds. "Staying up late trying to find a loophole in quidditch rules again?" You joke with a smile, watching as she shoots you a mock glare even though it was most probably true, only to be interrupted by her third yawn.
"I wish! Still never finished reading that rule book," she snorts. "I know there's something there I've missed." She takes a sip of her pumpkin juice and you watch as she swallows down another yawn. "I was at the black lake with the twins last night, didn't get back til late."
It's amazing that you don't choke on your own pumpkin juice as the words glide out of her mouth, your stomach sinking like a stone at the implications. You knew Angelina and there was no malice nor hidden meaning behind her words but it still stings more than getting caught in the path of a Ukrainian Ironbelly. Fred had openly lied to you, had rejected you and had invited Angelina in your place. You're frozen in place by the revelation but Angelina doesn't notice, now heartily tucking into her breakfast, though you do notice hermione peeking over her book to look at you. Tears begin to prickle your eyes as the sinking feeling in your gut consumes you, your thoughts spiralling out of control. He didn't want you anymore, you'd pushed him too far to come back from, all with him in mind.
You barely noticed when Ron, Ginny and Harry appeared at the table but you noticed immediately when you heard two very familiar voices echoing as Fred and George walked into the great hall. You had to leave, you had to get out before then took their places. A part of you, wether it was self-punishment or morbid curiosity wanted to stay and see if Fred would chose to sit next to you, to see if he'd interact with you or be cold and distant but you couldn't do it, knowing that the latter would kill you. You stood up so quickly that you bumped your knee on the bottom of the table with a resounding thud that seemed to draw everyone's attention to you but you didn't stick around to shrivel under their curious gazes. There was no way you could avoid Fred now as he made his way to the table but you couldn't do anything about that. Placing your hand over your mouth, you feigned queasiness and ran out of the hall, straight past Fred and George.
Climbing up the spiralling staircase from potions, your stomach sank when you saw a familiar form resting against one of the pillars in the corridor, his shining red hair leaving no doubt as to who it was. You waited for your fellow classmates to disperse, signalling for Alicia to go ahead with the others, leaving you and Fred alone. You half hoped for the first time ever that you'd gotten the twins mixed up
And that it was actually George that was waiting for you but as you walked over with a faux smile on your face, there was no doubt in your mind that it was Fred.
"Hi," you said, sounding awkward even to your own ears. He gives you a look, apparently having noticed your unusually formal greeting too and reaches out for you as if nothing was wrong. His touch feels wrong, the lies feeling like an impenetrable barrier between you and you don't sink into his touch as you usually did, nor do you make any attempt to reach out for him in return.
"Still want to go to the black lake tonight?" He says, reaching out to play with a strand of your hair from the haphazardly thrown up ponytail. His words feel like a knife, like a taunt of what you missed out in last night. Did he know that you knew about his jaunts last night or was he planning on denying the entire thing and acting like nothing was wrong?
You couldn't bite your tongue any longer, the unyielding sleep deprivation affecting your ability to regulate your emotions and you pulled yourself back out of his reach with a venomous look in your eyes.
"Thought you'd have seen enough of it with Angelina last night,' you spit out, the quickly fading logical part of your brain hardly believing that you were having this conversation with Fred, the downfall of your relationship taking you completely by surprise as it's ungodly pace. He blanches, face flushing pale as his ears turn more and more pink upon hearing your words. His eyes widen momentarily and the sickness in your gut increases as you note how panicked he looks, your fears confirmed that he was intending on not telling you anything.
"Princess," he says, trying to bounce back from his momentary shock as he reaches out for you but you avoid his hand entirely, blocking him by slightly turning your body to the right, away from him.
"My name is y/n," you counter, uncaring for his term of endearment. His brown creases but in a flash it's gone, his gaze now focused on your ear. You watch as his eyes harden, no longer looking guilty as his eyes set into a hard stare that grazes across your face until he finally looks into your eyes, somehow in competition with you for how angry you can gaze at eachother.
"It's not my whereabouts that need questioning though is it?" He says through partially gritted teeth, unrelenting eyes staring into your soul.
"What are you talking about?" You counter, trying desperately to hold onto your anger but it's quickly draining from you under his suspicious scrutiny.
"Seems you forgot to hide that one," he spits, pointing to the mark behind your ear. Your gaze softens immediately as you realise what he's pointing to- the pink mark on your neck. In your haste to not set your hair on fire in potions, you'd quickly tied up your hair and had completely forgotten that the mark on your neck would now be visible.
"Fred," you say, the tables turning on you now as you cower under his powerful gaze.
"Thought it was odd that you kept disappearing," he says with a grumble, his voice sounding so cold and distant that you barely recognise it. "Who is he?"
"What?" You ask suddenly, quietly, completely floored by his accusation, your mouth agape as you look upon the heated gaze of your boyfriend, though you quickly realise it may be the last time you can call him that. Never had you thought that he would have accused you of cheating. Finding out your secret maybe but this? Never.
"You heard me, who is it? Bet it's Towler isn't it," he sneers, almost spitting as he says Kenneth Towler's name to taunt you. "Reckon he's long overdue for a second dose of bulbadox powder."
You're frozen in disbelief at the furthering accusations he's spouting, his mind already wandering back to Kenneth Towler who's skin had erupted into boils during your fifth year thanks to Fred putting Bulbadox powder in his pyjamas when he'd come on to you a bit too strongly during a mid-season Quidditch game. Fred had been so distracted upon seeing Towler attempt to drape his arm around you that it caused him to miss an oncoming bludger that caught the tail end of Wood's broom, throwing him off balance and equating in a deciding goal that had given Ravenclaw the lead, that then resulted in their victory over Gryffindor. Fred had been furious, not at you naturally but at Towler who he'd declared had lost them the whole game and had vowed a form of revenge by adding the bulbadox.
"It is isn't it?" He prods, taking your silence as confirmation.
"No!" You say with vengeance, wanting to shoot down that accusation straight away. "There's no one," you add. He huffs out a humourless laugh that makes your entire body fill with dread.
"Well someone's giving you those marks and it's certainly not me!" He argues, "haven't let me anywhere near you for weeks, which is funny because you're usually up for it whenever."
Your blood runs cold at his words and you resist the instinctual urge to slap him right across his stupid face. It's like the four years of your relationship have been nothing to him; pulled apart and mocked by one single comment that now made you question everything. Was that all it was to him? Were you just easy and available? You felt physically sick by the thought and you were certain that nothing had ever hurt you so deeply before. The boy you'd fallen so helplessly in love for, the one with the fire red hair and the cheeky grin that only ever seemed to have eyes for you had changed so quickly right before your eyes. The very boy that had supported all of your creative dreams, encouraging you to keep painting and keep creating even when you doubted yourself or lacked inspiration. Merlin, most of the time he was your inspiration.
You realise that there's nothing left to say, that any further attempt to defend yourself will only fall on deaf ears and by his last comment, you weren't sure it was worth trying to salvage the joke that had been your relationship. You thought of the secret you'd be hiding, of the real reason you had been sneaking away and lying to him, so far away from his assumption that it was almost laughable- but now completely void of any importance. There was no coming back from this. What you assumed to have been love for the past four years had completely disappeared from his eyes and you knew from this moment onwards that all you would ever see when he gazed upon you would be pure disdain.
It feels like every bone is breaking in your body simultaneously as you walk away, like your heart is directly under the cruciatus curse with the sheer volume of anguish within your body. You've never felt pain like it, completely unable to distinguish exactly where it hurts or why. You let vision is blurred and your body physically hurts, your ears ringing from the screams of pain that resonate around your head but are trapped inside your mind. You don't look at Fred, you can't, nor can you bear to listen for him calling out to you as you walk away, the last glimmer of hope gone.
You consider returning to your dorm and locking yourself away for the foreseeable future, skipping all of your classes and sobbing until you can't anymore as you body screams for you to do but you can't. You can't let anyone see you like that, nor would you be able to answer anyone's questions or deal with their stares. And so, you run to the one place you knew you'd be safe.
Fang greets you enthusiastically the second you push through the door to the empty hut and collapse against the door with a roaring cry. The anguish in your cries is one that you'd never heard emitted from yourself or any other human and you no longer fight back the floods of tears that fall down your face like an unstoppable river that had broken the dam. Fang, sensing your distress, walks over to you and calmly sits beside you, placing his huge head in your lap as you cry. You hold on to the lovable boarhound like an oversized teddy bear as the tears flow, uncaring about the inevitable puddle of drool that he'll leave in your lap, the comfort of the sweet dog more needed than ever.
You don't know how long you sit there crying with your pal by your side for every moment but eventually the tears begin to slow, your breath finally evening out though your heart still pounds, much like your head. Fang lifts his head slightly, his big eyes peering into yours and you give him a thankful smile through the tears, even if he doesn't know exactly what you're trying to convey. He gives your arm a little nudge and in your near delusional state, you assume that it's a reply to your thankfulness. You chuckle, giving him a good scratch of appreciation on his wrinkled forehead at the absurdity of the situation, but you'd be forever thankful that of all things, Fang was the only one that had held you together in your darkest moment.
#emeritusemeritus#emeritusemerituswrites#harry potter#fred weasley#fred weasley x reader#fred weasley x you#fred weasley imagine#fred weasley masterlist#Fred Weasley fic#requests#requests completed
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100-"I can't. I don't want to get hurt again." Please for Xavi 😭
Taking The Risk~Xavi Simons
*Pictures are from Pinterest*
enjoy <3
request from here
master list -> part 2
players/drivers i write for
100-"I can't. I don't want to get hurt again."
y/n had been friends with Xavi for a while, a friendship that was easy and natural at first. They’d laugh at each other’s jokes, spend hours talking about nothing and everything, and it was always fun. But somewhere along the way, the lines blurred. The way his hand would brush against hers, or how his eyes lingered on her a little longer, made her heart race. It terrified her. She could feel herself getting too close, letting her guard down in a way she hadn’t done in a long time.
It was happening again—the slow, inevitable fall.
It had been a while since she allowed herself to feel something for anyone, and now that it was happening, all she wanted to do was run. She knew what it was like to be hurt, to give herself over to someone only to have her heart shattered. It wasn’t something she was ready to experience again.
So, she began to pull away. She stopped replying to his messages as quickly, cancelled plans with vague excuses, and when she did see him, the air was heavy with the weight of the distance between you. Xavi noticed it. He always noticed everything when it came to her.
It wasn’t long before he called her out on it. One evening, after she canceled meeting up again, he showed up at her door, concern etched in his features.
“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” His voice was softer than she expected, but there was an edge to it, a hurt he was trying to hide.
y/n hesitated, swallowing the lump in her throat. “Nothing’s wrong, Xavi. I’ve just been... busy.” she said, her voice low and weak
He frowned, not buying it for a second. “Busy? Or avoiding me?” he questioned
She took a deep breath, trying to keep her walls intact. But the weight of his gaze made it impossible to lie any further. He deserved the truth, even if it scared her to admit it. “I just... I can’t.” she whispered
His brows furrowed, confusion clouding his expression. “What do you mean?”
“I can’t let myself get close to you. I just-I can't. I don't want to get hurt again” The words tumbled out before she could stop them, raw and vulnerable. She didn’t dare look at him, instead staring at the ground like it could somehow swallow the awkwardness.
He was silent for a moment, and she could feel him processing her words. Then, softly, he asked, “Who hurt you?”
y/n bit her lip, the memories of past heartbreaks flashing through her mind. The betrayal, the lies, the emptiness it left her with.
“It doesn’t matter who. I just... I can’t go through that again, Xavi. I don’t want to get hurt. Not by you.” she said, playing with her fingers to avoid his eyes
He stepped closer, his voice low and steady. “I would never hurt you. You know that, right?” he said softly
She finally met his eyes, and the sincerity there made her chest tighten. “You say that now. But what happens when things get hard? When it’s not easy anymore?” she asked, the vulnerability evident in her voice
Xavi shook his head, his gaze never leaving hers. “I’m not saying things will always be easy. But I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
She wanted to believe him. She wanted to trust the promise in his words, but the fear was too strong, the scars too deep. “I don’t know if I can take that risk.” she shook her head
He took another step closer, so close now that she could feel the warmth of his presence, the steady calmness that was uniquely him.
“I like you, Y/N. I’ve liked you for a while now. And I’ve been waiting for the right moment to tell you. But I need you to meet me halfway. I need you to believe me when I say that I’m not like them.” he confessed, sounding genuine and sincere
Her breath hitched at his words, her heart pounding in her chest. She had never allowed herself to even think about him feeling the same way. But now, hearing him say it, hearing the quiet plea in his voice, it stirred something inside her.
“I don’t want to lose you,” she whispered, the fear still lingering.
He shook his head, his eyes softening. “You won’t lose me. You’ll never lose me.”
The vulnerability in his voice, in the way he looked at her, was her undoing. Slowly, she let herself soften, let the fear that had gripped her so tightly begin to loosen. She wanted to believe him, and maybe that was enough for now.
“I’m scared,” she admitted, voice barely above a whisper.
“I know,” he replied gently. “And that’s okay. But I’m scared too. Scared of losing you before we even have a chance.”
y/n felt a tear slip down her cheek, quickly brushing it away, but Xavi was faster, his hand reaching out to gently wipe it away. The touch was soft, delicate, and it sent a warmth through her chest that she hadn’t felt in a long time.
“Just... give us a chance,” he said softly. “We don’t have to rush. But don’t shut me out. Please.”
She stared at him, heart pounding, every part of her torn between running and staying. But then she realized that maybe, just maybe, Xavi was worth the risk.
With a deep breath, she nodded. “Okay.”
The relief that washed over his face was immediate. He stepped even closer, wrapping his arms around her in a hug that felt like home. For the first time in a long time, she allowed herself to lean into it, to let the walls she’d built around her heart crumble just a little.
They didn’t know what the future held, but in that moment, with Xavi holding her close, she decided to take the risk.
#football#football x reader#football blurb#football imagine#football one shot#footballer imagine#barcelona#rb leipzig#psg#paris saint germain#xavi simons x reader#xavi simons fluff#xavi simons blurb#xavi simons imagine#xavi simons x y/n#xavi simons x you#xavi simons fanfic#xavi simons fic#xavi simons one shot#xavi simons
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celebrity skin. (part two)
pairing: rockstar!eddie munson x popstar!fem!reader word count: 6.5k summary: your night with eddie continues to haunt you. and now you have to work together — what could go wrong?
content warnings: 18+, minors dni: smut with a plot, oral (fem receiving), aftercare, suggestive & mature themes, other mentions of sex (nothing graphic), adult language, use of pet names, mutual pining, emotional hurt / comfort, topics of guilt / regret — if i missed anything, pls let me know!
psa: images used in the header don’t depict readers physical attributes! these are also described vaguely in the story, only that she’s a little shorter than eddie.
celebrity skin. masterlist
Eddie Munson hurt your feelings.
Granted, you were just as much to blame. Rockstars are always nothing but trouble and you knew that when you jumped into bed with him.
‘Cause why would Eddie Munson be any different from all the other musicians you’d slept with in the past? He gave you no reason to think otherwise. He never promised you anything.
Letting him occupy your heart and mind after only one night together was your own damn fault, though it was easier to blame him. And you could make a list of excuses, reasons as to why you did what you did, but it really came down to one simple thing: Eddie seemed… different. Almost as if he also wanted to continue this past some single fling.
You asked to stay over. He immediately agreed.
Why? If he was only going to say the night meant nothing to him, why did he agree? Why did he pull you under the silk covers and wrap his arm around your bare shoulder, placing a gentle kiss to your crown? Why did he hold your hand close to his heart, allowing you to feel his heartbeat as he opened up about his past? Why did he let you trace your fingers along his scars?
If it was just about having sex with you, why did Eddie act like he cared what you thought of him? He could have kicked you out the second you came down to earth following your orgasm, not kiss you again with a feverness that made you believe he was silently begging for more — which foolishly, you gave him.
Then you didn’t call immediately, like you said you would. Again, only you were to blame here, but in your own defence, you didn’t think he’d act so coldly towards you. It was just one delayed phone call and he knew better than anyone how plans often change when you’re in the limelight.
Proof was in the pudding. Eddie didn’t like you nearly as much as he led you to believe he did — as much as you liked him.
And it was fucking foolish of you to fall for him the way you did. Holly thought so too. She actually had a lot of opinions after you told her why you bailed on her at the party.
“Boys are all the same,” she stated while applying the finishing touches to your makeup. “They have one thing on their mind and when they get it, no matter how sweet they act towards you, you’re unfortunately disposable.”
“Eddie doesn’t seem like that,” you defended, which only caused Holly to roll her eyes.
“Hate to be the one to break this to you, but Eddie Munson is exactly that type of guy.”
The cherry on top of this godforsaken mess was your Nana who somehow caught wind of your salacious activities with the Corroded Coffin frontman. She confronted you at her charity luncheon of all places and was actually the main reason you had called him with such a delay, meaning she was also partially to blame for how things turned out in the end.
“You’re not to go anywhere near that boy again,” it almost sounded like a threat. “He’s no good for you or your image. Can you imagine the news? America’s sweetheart canoodling with a devil worshipper. You would be ruined.”
“He’s not a devil worshipper—”
“I don’t want to hear you defending him,” your Nana interjected and looked around, probably to make sure no one was listening in on the conversation. “Honey, I’m just trying to protect you. You’re still a little young to understand just how long our mistakes can follow us around for.”
“Right,” you scoffed, “But I guess you have experience in this area.” And with that you walked away. She didn’t follow.
A few days later, after your brief conversation with Eddie, you showed up at her apartment with tears in your eyes, repeating how she was right — not necessarily the devil worship stuff, just the “not being good for you” piece.
Mid-September 1992, Eddie was supposed to be in New York with his band to perform on Saturday Night Live. He told you that in between trailing kisses down your jawline: “Just in case it’s hard for us to find time to see together,” where his exact words, “This one is a guarantee.”.
You half-debated going to the after party. It wouldn’t be hard to get your name on the guest list, just one simple call from your management team. You even knew what you could wear. Chanel had sent you this gorgeous little black blazer-dress from their Fall 1991 collection, gold buttons at the front creating a v-neck that perfectly accentuated your chest. It was tame enough to keep in style with your image, but bold enough to hail the attention of the Corroded Coffin frontman.
As you stared at the dress however, you knew going would be a mistake. He’d likely view it as an act of despair and the last thing you wanted to do is give him any more power in this situation. So you opted to watch the show from the comfort of your own sofa. Your younger sister Valentine, named after the most romantic day of the year (according to your parents), Val for short, came over to watch with you.
Turns out Val is a big Corroded Coffin fan. Luckily, she remains blissfully unaware of what had gone down between you and the lead singer of her favourite band.
Val ended up being the person who pushed you to do the feature on Corroded Coffin’s upcoming single. She is the person who actually got you to listen to the demo in the first place.
The opportunity first presented itself around January of 1993. After weeks of trying to forget about Eddie Munson, and the way his touch made you feel, your team flushed all that hard work down the toilet in one short meeting. They presented an idea you really wanted no part of — a quick feature that was gonna cost nothing, but make you (and them) five times as much, if not more.
Your initial reaction was a plain and simple no. You had brushed it off as their music not being within your wheelhouse and for a second, they agreed. Only Val had come to the meeting with you. She was only supposed to be a silent observer and take notes for her Business Management module. Of course, she didn’t listen.
“Oh my god! Your voice blended with Eddie Munson’s would make for an automatic hit,” she exclaimed and you swore then you were going to kill her.
“Their sound is just not my thing,” you explained calmly.
“At least listen to the demo before you make any final decisions,” Val reasoned, earning herself nods and yeses from your management team.
Losing the battle, you made your way to the nearest empty recording room with the CD in hand. Knowing this was already hard enough, you asked to go alone. Val was the only one to put up any sort of fight, but older sister rules and she quickly changed her tune.
When the first few notes began to play through the speakers, you felt gratified because the song was totally opposite of what your fanbase enjoyed — just like you rationalised. However, then the melody slowed down. The heavy guitar from the intro was instead replaced by a more acoustic sound, and the loud drums, reduced to a simple beat. They were a mere decoration to the main event. Eddie and his hypnotic vocals.
“Honestly, you got me fallin’ to my knees It’s like ecstasy, this feelin’ inside of me Let’s call it honesty
You’re a devil in disguise No, that’s what I want you to be ‘Cause in reality, hon’, you’re a hypnotic dream An angel for sure To a non-believer like me Oh honesty, what have you done to me, honestly”
You’re not sure at which point of listening to the demo you started to cry, but you did. The tears are slow, trailing down your cheeks as you clutch the empty CD case tight to your chest.
Was it egotistical to think he’d written this song about you? Most definitely. Yet the sheer emotion in Eddie’s voice, not to even mention the lyrics themselves, made it quite hard to say otherwise.
“Why do they want me?” You asked once you had returned to the room, after listening to the demo three times in a row and taking an additional ten minutes to compose yourself. “They can have any female singer on this, why me?”
“The request came from someone above the band.”
It wasn’t the answer you had secretly hoped for, but you agreed to do the feature nonetheless. There was no denying, the track had huge hit potential, especially as a duet. And Val was right, your vocals mixed with Eddie’s were going to make history. Your reasons for saying yes, however, were a little different. You really just needed to be a hundred percent sure Eddie wrote this song about you.
March 1993 and the day you’d been stressing about since you agreed to do the song had finally arrived.
You had put on the most comfortable yet sexy outfit you could find and done your makeup differently to what Eddie would have seen you in. sprayed on some rose-scented perfume and plastered on a big smile, the fakest sincere shit you had become quite the expert at over the years — your trademark.
The band's manager, Marianne, greeted you on arrival. Holly and your bodyguard, Hank, had come with you to the recording session. You asked Holly to be there as emotional support and Hank was there just to get his paycheck. Either way, you were quite glad not to be facing this alone.
Everything’s fine, you told yourself as you followed Marianne across the building and to a studio where the producer and a handful of sound technicians were waiting for you. Finn, Jane, Kit, and Gavin — in no particular order of importance, their own words. Happy to be working with you, can’t wait to make some magic, big fans of your work, etc. You just smiled. Then Marianne opened the door to the room behind the sound-proof glass and a shiver ran down your spine once you walked through.
Although you did your best to not look his way, Eddie’s presence was instantly known to your senses. As though no one else was ever here, all you could feel was his eyes on you and it caused your heart to rattle inside your ribcage. The sheer fact of being in the same room as him again, after all this time apart, was infuriating yet exciting at the same time. You wondered what he was thinking, was he happy to see you? Surprised? Annoyed?
Holly was on your heels, saying her charming hello’s to everyone you had just introduced yourself to. She actually met Jeff at Eddie’s party so the two of them hugged like old pals and within a split-second, they were off to the side, catching up. You lost your protector quite possibly at the worst time.
“And our frontman, Eddie Munson.” Marianne introduced, one hand hovering over your back while the other extended in the direction of the curly-haired man,
You focused your attention on her arm, refusing to look up and meet Eddie’s chocolate gaze. From the corner of your eyes, you could see as he wiped his palms on the pleather of his pants and held out his right hand in your direction. You glanced at it briefly, the smile on your face faltering.
Suddenly, he was right there. Right at your fingertips. Just take his hand, you thought to yourself, it’s not that big a deal, just take his hand and look at him.
“We’ve met before,” you said with little to no emotion, and without meeting his gaze, then quickly turned to Marianne. “Should we just get started? I listened to the song, I have no notes, otherwise I wouldn’t be here.”
Marianne seemed to be taken aback by your abrupt change in attitude. She glanced at Eddie then back at you. “Uhm, yeah, sure. Of course. Right this way.”
The two of you silently left Eddie’s side, though you continued to feel his eyes burning into your frame. This whole situation was honestly nauseating. Not only were you forced to face the memories of this one magical night you shared with the famous rockstar, you were also about to sing a duet together, a song he most likely wrote about said night. All while pretending you don’t care about him or the night in question.
Marianne propped you in front of a microphone and handed you a set of headphones and shortly after the band had taken their places. You glanced across the room at Holly who gave you an encouraging thumbs up before hurrying out to re-join Finn, Jane, Kit, Gavin, and your bodyguard, Hank.
Your heart was hammering inside your chest. This was so beyond fucked, you almost wished it wasn’t too late to back out. The only thing making this just a little bit worth it was Eddie’s clear discomfort. He was the last to take his place at the microphone placed only a feet away from yours, his movements reluctant. You still refused to look at him, focusing instead on the carpet between your feet, hands now on your hips.
“You know what I’m gonna say,” Marianne’s voice echoed through the room, “The day I don’t say it though is gonna be the day we make a shit piece of art so, here goes, good luck and have fun.”
An unsettling silence filled the air as soon as she closed the door behind her.
You weren’t sure how their band sessions really went, who took the lead and who followed. You hoped someone would speak so you wouldn’t be the first, but no one did. Eddie’s eyes were burning into the side of your head. At this point you were starting to think the universe was playing some sick joke on you. So you glanced upwards, first behind the glass to where you located Holly who gave you another thumbs up, and then you tilted your head in the direction of the man next to you.
You exhaled softly and leaned in closer to the microphone before saying, “Honesty, take one.”
-
Eddie had thought about you every single day since that fateful night in August. The memory of you, your smile, the colour of your eyes, how you felt to the touch, the pretty sounds you made just for him, it had occupied his mind permanently. And he tried to get over you, really, but nothing seemed to do the trick. Not the drinking, not the weed, not losing himself in music, not even hooking up with strangers after the bands’ shows.
He was a goner, yet too fucking stubborn to call or try contact you in any way.
But now here you are, a mere arms-length away, and you’re singing the song he wrote about you, harmonising with little to no effort as you stare right into his big eyes. Eddie is staring back at you, holding your gaze ‘cause he’s afraid if he’d look away, you’d never look at him again. He wants to know what you’re thinking. He’s trying to decipher the angry sadness behind your eyes. Not like he deserves anything from you, but he wants to know how you’ve been. Most importantly, he wants to know if you even like the song?
“Okay,” Marianne pops her head in as the track ends, “Let’s break for lunch.”
Everyone starts to gather whatever they might need for the next hour — bag, bottled water, smokes — before following Marianne out of the recording studio. You’re still staring at Eddie and he’s thinking now’s his chance to talk to you. However, just as he’s about to open his mouth to start perhaps the most awkward conversation, you drop his gaze and hurry out the door.
“Shit,” the curly-haired rockstar curses under his breath then proceeds to follow you down the long hallway until you disappear into the ladies toilets. “Shit,” Eddie swears again as the door closes in front of his face. He runs a hand through his locks, debating whether he should continue his chase, though, eventually, he decides going inside would be a total breach of privacy. Instead, he leans across from the entrance, lights a cigarette, and waits. You’re bound to return at some point and when you do, he’s going to be here and you would have to talk to him.
Thankfully, he doesn’t have to wait long.
The door opens slowly and you emerge, wiping your hands on your denim skirt. Attention solely on fixing your outfit, it takes you a second to realise Eddie’s there ‘cause honestly you didn’t even know he followed you. As you take a step forward and his worn-out converse sneakers come into view, you swallow.
Closing your eyes momentarily, a desperate attempt at some kind of composure in this situation. Ultimately, there’s no use in continuing this childish game of cat and mouse so you gaze upon him.
“Hi Eddie,” you say with all the confidence you can muster.
He exhales a puff of smoke, then replies, “Hey, sweetheart.”
Your heart aches at the moniker and you can’t help but wonder if it’s a nickname solely reserved for you, or if he goes around calling everybody he sleeps with. After all, with the way things turned out to be, you were simply a number on his undoubtedly long list of conquests. You weren’t special.
“It’s nice to see you,” Eddie admits, though his words only twist the imaginary dagger he had jabbed into your heart. “You look… great.”
This makes you roll your eyes. Truthfully, you didn’t have high expectations for your first conversation with the Corroded Coffin frontman, but there was something about him casually flirting as if nothing had happened, that made your blood boil.
“Fuck you, Eddie.”
He’s taken aback by your words and the harshness behind them. Obviously he messed up, treated you with an indifference no one deserves to experience, especially someone with a heart as pure as yours. To hear you say that though, mixed with the pure agony behind your eyes, it makes him feel sick.
About to walk away, you turn on your heel. Eddie puts out the half-finished cigarette against the wall, letting the bud drop to the floor, and reaches out to grab your arm. Surprisingly, you don’t flinch at his touch, not at first anyway, which gives him enough time to step in front of you and lift his hands to cup your cheeks.
“Sweetheart…” Eddie begins in a whisper, thumbs caressing along your cheekbones. Your skin is softer than he remembers and it only makes his heart ache more, mournful for the time lost.
“Let me go,” you plead quietly and shake your head, fingers attaching themselves to his wrists, digging at the dips in his knuckles and the valleys of space where his hold met yours, in an attempt to separate the two of you.
Eddie doesn’t budge. He’s stood firm as you claw at him, trying to break free from his grasp. If anything, he inclines closer and in the space of a single heartbeat, you can feel his hot breath as he dips his head to your level, forcing you to meet his gaze. There’s a sense of despair behind his brown eyes and you almost stop fighting.
Almost.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. Okay? Is that what you wanna hear?”
His words, although an apology, didn’t sound like one. To you, it seemed like Eddie wasn’t actually sorry for his actions, he just hated the fact that you were giving him the cold shoulder. He wanted to be in your good graces not ‘cause your night meant something to him, but because he had a bruised ego. A cruel joke really.
So you clear your throat and call on the only person guaranteed to get you away from his situation.
“Hank,” there’s very little power behind your voice and Eddie furrows his brows a little confused at first, but then you move your head to the best of your current ability past Eddie’s shoulder and say his name louder, “Hank!”
“Please—”
“Hank!”
Eddie drops his hold on you then and runs a hand down his face as you take a single step forward, arm brushing against his a little too steadily to be called an accident. Seconds pass and neither of you moves, each staring in a separate direction while your bodies continue to press together. Eddie extends his fingers. You feel the metal of his rings and the air hitches in your throat.
How come one second you cannot wait to get away from him and the next you’re aching for his touch? One second you’re pushing him away and the next your fingers are intertwining themselves with his. It was fucking messed up, hating him yet caring for him at the same time, and you didn’t want to feel this way anymore.
When your army-veteran bodyguard appears at the end of the hall, you snatch your hand away from Eddie’s grasp and plaster a fake smile on your face.
“Everything okay, miss?” Hank asks, glancing between the two of you.
“Can you call the car? I’m not feeling well.”
He nods. “Right away.” Then disappears just as fast as he rushed to your aid.
You’re once again left alone with Eddie. Only this time, the Corroded Coffin frontman makes no attempt to reach out for you. Instead, he slides his hands in the pocket of his jacket and tilts his head in your direction. You can see him from the corner of your eyes and it takes all the strength you have to not look his way.
“I am sorry,” he says in a defeated tone, “Whether you choose to believe me or not.”
With that, he walks away.
-
The world hadn’t stopped spinning since your earlier interaction with the Corroded Coffin frontman.
You felt sick while recounting the moment on loop. The sad look in his eyes, the defeated sound of his voice. His body language was screaming I wanna be closer to you, unfortunately, you couldn’t figure out if he was being sincere, if this whole situation really weighed on him as deeply as it did you.
Holly had berated you for even indulging in a conversation with him, to which you huffed and puffed ‘cause she’s the one who left you alone in the first place for “not-a-date” lunch with Jeff.
“Hope you at least got some,” you tease, rummaging through your half-unpacked suitcase for the box of smokes you carefully hid in there, for emergency situations only.
Holly laughs from her spot on the sofa. You can’t see her face, but you can tell she’s smiling. “Shut the fuck up,” she deflects with a giggle, “We went for some friendly burgers. I wasn’t looking for anything else.”
“Was Jeff?” You quip, placing a cigarette between your lips and reaching for the ashtray. You carry the item towards one of the hotel windows before lighting the tip, slowly inhaling.
“You’re unbearable, you know that?” Holly jests, shifting in her spot to look at you. “Just ‘cause you’re sexually frustrated.”
You smirk, exhaling some smoke. “What gave you that idea?”
Holly raises a brow, an amused look spread across her face, and points to the cigarette you’re holding onto. Before she can make her point of you only smoking when you’re stressed or craving some action — and in this instance, it’s clearly both — there’s a knock on the door. The two of you glance in its direction then back at each other.
“Where you expecting—”
“No,” you answer before Holly can finish her question, “You?”
She shakes her head in response. There’s another knock, louder this time. You quickly put the cigarette out and waved the curtain around, your best attempt to somewhat ventilate just in case this was a surprise visit from your Nana who, despite being a heavy smoker herself, would kill you for indulging in the cancer sticks.
While you spray some perfume on, Holly walks towards the door. She shoots you one last glance, making sure you were presentable for whoever was on the other side of that door, then opens to reveal someone you both were least expecting.
Eddie fucking Munson.
“Oh,” he breathes, brows up, “I didn’t think—”
“What are you doing here, Munson?” Holly interrupts, holding onto the door so he knew he wasn’t welcome inside.
“Shit, if you just let me finish.” Eddie grumbles back. “I didn’t think anyone else would be here. I came to see her.” He looks at you then and your heart twists the second your eyes meet his.
Holly tilts her head in your direction and a sigh escapes her lips. There’s a reason she’s your closest friend. She can read you like a book and the expression on your face right now, gaze not leaving Eddie’s even for a second, is telling her to let the rockstar in — whether she agrees with that or not.
So she drops her arm and pushes the door wider before stepping to the side. Eddie looks at her then back at you. He walks inside, not wanting to waste this opportunity since he didn’t know how long it would last, as Holly approaches you. The girl places her hands on your cheeks, forcing you to focus on her just for a moment.
“If you need me, I’m right next door, ‘kay?” Holly whispers and you nod. “Shout, scream, do whatever. I’ll come runnin’. I’m here for you, this time.”
“Thanks, honey.”
“Always,” Holly affirms then lets go of you. She straightens her top before turning around and walking back to where Eddie stood with his hands in his pockets. She sizes up the curly-haired man, but doesn’t say anything. Instead, she shuts the door with a timid bang.
Silence settles in the air. Once again, it’s just you and Eddie staring at one another with immense longing yet sadness. Only, unlike earlier today, you don’t want to run away.
There are approximately three pieces of furniture between the two of you and the longer he continues to look at you with his doe-eyes, you’re calculating how exactly to manoeuvre around them to hug him, putting an end to this entire charade.
Something is still holding you back, however.
“What are you doing here, Eddie?”
He swallows and proceeds to hesitantly walk towards you, past the sofas you were debating jumping over mere seconds ago. He stops about an arms-length away, careful not to totally invade your personal space in fear of you pulling away again. Instead, he leans against the back of one of the couches and tilts his head to the side.
“What do you think of my song?”
You furrow your brows. “What?”
“Do you like it?” Eddie asks, but doesn’t give you enough time to answer, “I’m thinking you do since you agreed to be on it, but then again maybe you don’t and your reason for doing the feature is to mess with my fucking head.” His fingers are at his temple, pointing to emphasise his words.
There’s an ache in your chest. “You really think that low of me?”
Eddie’s face falls at the deflated tone of your voice and he’s cursing himself for hurting your feelings again. He didn’t mean to. Word vomit, is how his uncle Wayne described it back when Eddie was still living in Hawkins, it’s as though Eddie’s mouth and brain didn’t connect.
He sighs, running a hand through his locks. “I gotta get something off my chest, just in case you kick me out and we never get a chance another to talk alone,” he says then takes in a deep breath, “You probably don’t wanna hear this, and you probably won’t even believe me, but I genuinely cannot stop thinking about you.”
Your face softens at his confession, though you remain in place, arms crossed.
Eddie continues. “And I’ve never experienced that with anyone. I certainly didn’t expect to feel these things for you, especially after spending only one night together. Which is why I acted like a dick when you called. I was hurt that you hadn’t reached out sooner considering how near perfect that night was.”
A timid smile circles your features. Briefly, you’re cursing yourself for giving in to his charm so easily. Very briefly.
“Mr. Rock ‘n’ Roll isn’t used to having someone else’s life take priority over his, huh?”
That’s when Eddie laughs, and the second the melodic chuckle falls from his lips, you drop your arms and take a step towards him. Your fingers reach for his instinctively and he takes your hand gladly, giving it a gentle squeeze.
“Totally not, no.” He admits. “But I am willing to change.”
“Hmm,” you hum, lifting your other hand to brush a loose strand of his brown locks away from his face. “Hope you’re a man of your word ‘cause I’m booked and busy. Can’t have you throw a fit every time I don’t call you.”
The smile on Eddie’s face widens. His right arm makes its way around your waist and he pulls you in, effectively closing the gap between you. His gaze drops to your lips, if only for a split second as he licks his own, then meets your eyes once again.
“I wanna do this right,” he mutters, his grip on you tightening. “I don’t want us to just jump the gun again and leave things lost in translation, so before we do anything else, I’d like to take you on a date, sweetheart.”
Your heart skips a beat ‘cause who knew Eddie Munson was such a damn romantic — definitely not you.
“And where would we go on this date?” You muse, “Since we can’t really blend in with a crowd.”
Eddie purses his lips together, pondering your question. He lets go of you and places his hands on his hips as he walks around the room. You’re following him with your gaze, the smile ever-present. Then his eyes twinkle.
“Well, how about right here, baby? We can order some room service and watch MTV in bed.” The rockstar announces, pointing to the California King and wiggling his brows.
So that’s exactly what the two of you do.
With a tray of overpriced hotel food between you and the current top tracks blasting through the television speakers, the evening was perhaps the most normal you both have felt in a really long time. Eddie, of course, gave his opinion on every song that played in the countdown while stuffing his face with french fries. Most were unsurprising, like Whitney Houston’s I WIll Always Love You, well Dolly Parton’s is miles better in his humble opinion, or Bon Jovi’s Bed of Roses, the guitar makes the song. Then came number three on the list.
You visibly grimace while moving the now empty tray to the floor beside the bed and Eddie chuckles lightly.
“Not a fan of your own music?”
Shaking your head, you sit back although closer to him since there was no longer anything between you. “Just not my best song, is all.”
Eddie nods, resting his hand on your thigh and turns his attention back to the TV. Suddenly, you’re feeling nervous. For one, he’s touching you, thumb gently rubbing circles into your bare flesh. Then there was the music video which, as you glanced at him from the corner of your eye, Eddie seemed to be totally hypnotised by.
And full transparency, he was. How could he not be? It was a one-shot type video of you singing while walking down the street as it poured rain. The outfit you had on was sticking to your skin as a result, hair wet and makeup smudged. Raw, is the first word that came to Eddie’s mind. Not to mention completely different from your usual vibe.
“You gotta give yourself more credit, sweetheart.” Eddie says after a minute and tilts his head to look at you. “Personally, I like this a lot more than your other shit.”
You meet his gaze. “You don’t think it’s too… desperate? Like yeah, the song is making rounds and charting in all sorts of places, but it’s so—”
“It’s about me, isn’t it?” He interrupts, scanning your eyes for the answer he already knows.
“Yeah…” You exhale. “Like I said, desperate.”
He squeezes your thigh before effortlessly throwing your legs across his lap and pulling you in even closer. One hand remains in your lap while the other makes way around your lower back, settling on the curve of your ass — all without breaking eye contact.
“There’s nothing desperate about you, sweetheart.” He mutters, face now inches away from yours. “I wrote a song too, remember? One we’re actually performing together, which is arguably way worse.”
That makes you chuckle lightheartedly as Eddie continues, “Plus, you look fucking hot in that music video. Anybody that says differently is stupid and/or blind. If anything, I’m glad I inspired all that.” His voice fizzles into something darker for the end of that sentence while his eyes snap to your mouth.
You can feel him under your legs as he presses his forehead to yours, all of him. It doesn’t help that he’s so pretty from this angle. The curve of his jawline. The dips in his cheeks. His doe-eyes focused solely on yours, dimming by the second with longing. And just like that, almost as if no time had passed, you’re back where you both started. Hearts beating in tandem. Eagerly waiting with anticipation for the other to make the first move.
“I really wanna do this right, baby.” He repeats his earlier statement, but the way he brushes his thumb across your bottom lip, dragging it down till it bounces back gently in place, betrays his words.
“We don’t have to do anything right now.” And although you mean it, you hope he doesn’t give up too easily.
Eddie exhales. Eyes closing momentarily. He’s fighting every urge ‘cause he doesn’t want to fuck this up again. For once in his life, he wants to see where things can go. But the feeling of your skin, the smell of your perfume, and the memory of you moaning his name so sweetly, well it’s got his heart racing and his dick harder.
The hand on your thigh tightening in grip, causing you to whimper delicately. And that’s when he loses the internal battle.
“Fuck it.”
He wastes no more time, slamming his lips to yours in an eager sloppy kiss. You immediately kiss him back, hands settling on his neck, nails digging into the sensitive skin. He’s groaning against your mouth at the contact, pushing into you further so that you can feel his cock twitch against your leg. And you’re convinced that if you were standing, it would make your knees buckle.
Heads rotating side to side, nose grazing against one another with each wet kiss, Eddie adjusts your positions so that you were now fully resting on your back as he lingered over you. One of his hands was now on your waist, holding you firmly in place as he starts to grind his hips into yours.
“Eddie…” You moan against his puffy lips.
“I’m gonna make you feel so good, pretty girl.” Eddie affirms quietly, trailing hot kisses from the dip of your lips down your jaw. And he desperately wants to stay true to his word so before you get a chance to react, he’s removing your underwear then slides down until his head is between your thighs.
You let out a tender giggle as his facial hair grazes against your skin. Eddie shushes you and after adjusting your skirt for easier access, he begins to place kisses along your inner thigh, drawing closer and closer to his desired destination. Aching for his touch, you tangle your fingers in his hair and tug at his curls. He smirks against your flesh and proceeds to spread your lips with his fingertips, revealing how wet you truly are, then blows several cool breaths over your hot clit.
He proceeds to gently slide his tongue up and down your pussy, so slowly, you feel every moment of pleasure. Then he flicks his tongue over your clit, sucking and licking the sensitive area until you’re a panting mess. And when you moan his name, Eddie works a little faster. Then continues to increase his speed as his tongue darts in and out of your dripping cunt.
Just when you think you’re on cloud nine, he forces two fingers into you, his lips focusing on your clit. They arch up to reach that sweet spot he didn’t have a hard time finding the last time and you clasp your hand across your mouth, muffling a scream. He’s relentless in his movements and you find yourself grinding into his face, meeting the pace he’s set with overwhelming frenzy.
Faster and faster, his tongue licks up and down, spreading your pussy lips further as his fingers dig deep within your cunt, sending you over the edge with every thrust. Your legs start to shake and thighs clasp hard against his head, trapping him in place, while he continues to sucking till you go limp.
It takes you a moment to recover and Eddie’s feeling mighty proud as he places a tender kiss to your cheekbone before moving to your mouth. You can taste yourself on his lips and it’s enough to drive you crazy all over again.
But Eddie’s got other plans. He’s decided this night is all about you, so despite the desperate hard-on currently concealed by his trousers, he cleans you up before asking where you keep your pyjamas. Your heart soars as he helps you get changed and eventually settled under the covers.
“Stay with me.” It’s a request he’s happy to oblige. Throwing off his t-shirt and jeans, he joins you in bed briskly. The two of you fall asleep shortly after that, MTV still playing in the background. As first dates go, this one was pretty perfect and you were starting to feel like everything with Eddie was going to be this way.
Unfortunately, the serene moment was short lived, which, in hindsight, you should’ve known people of yours and Eddie’s stature weren’t privy to normality.
The following morning, you were both abruptly woken up by a frantic Holly. She doesn’t say anything about Eddie being in your bed, for which you’re grateful, just chucks a newspaper into your lap while you wipe the sleep from your eyes.
Slowly, you sit up then reach for the paper. Glancing between your friend and the guy in your bed, you unfold it. Eddie rests his chin on your shoulder and you both focus on the front page.
“Shit,” he expresses exactly how you’re feeling at that moment ‘cause gracing the front page, with a rather raunchy headline, is a photo, taken yesterday, of the Corroded Coffin frontman towering over you, his hands cupping your face.
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Text
Best friend
Fandom: Until Dawn
Pairing: Josh Washington x Reader
Words: 857
Warnings: None
Is the Until Dawn fandom dead? Potentially. Will I write for it anyway? Absolutely!
Josh Washington, for as long as I could remember, had always been my best friend.
We met in third grade when my brother, Chris, also met him. Chris introduced us both and we instantly clicked, something that never went away, even as we aged. He was, for lack of a better word, my soulmate, or maybe that was just my crush on him talking.
He was charming, cute, and overall, just a genuine person; could anyone blame me for catching feelings for him? I didn’t expect nor want it to happen, but as we grew into teens, I couldn’t help it. Of course, my friendship with him extended to a friendship with the twins who were also close friends of mine, and also with Josh and Chris’s friends who I now called my own. I loved them all, but none as much as I did with Josh.
My parents were never particularly fond of the man, saying that he was a bad influence with all his pranks, doing the same with Chris, but neither of us cared. He was a good friend, and nothing could change that, even if he did prank us at least twice a month.
In fact, that leads us to where I was right now: covered in water after I was bombarded by water balloons from my brother and my crush.
“You idiots!” I laughed, clearly not meaning the words, despite me being drenched head-to-toe in freezing cold water. They soon joined in with the laughter, growing louder and louder as they stared at me. “I’m freezing.” A pout on my lips was evident as I spoke.
Josh shook his head, still chuckling as he tossed me a towel. “There you go, you know where the bathroom is, go get cleaned up.”
“I didn’t want to give you a towel, but Josh thought we better,” Chris smirked, something which only grew as he noticed the blush quickly darting onto my cheeks; it was clear that he knew of my feelings for the man.
“Screw you, Chris. I’m going for a shower.” I said, shaking my head as I left the room, leaving the pair laughing behind me.
*
Soon after my shower, I was seated beside Josh and opposite Chris with a warm drink in our hands. It was nice, sitting with the two people I held dearest to my heart whilst we chuckled at a bad movie Josh had put on, a horror, I think.
Chris was soon to fall asleep after finishing his drink, clearly not interested in the movie, either that, or he was exhausted which was also quite possible with the blonde.
“You okay?” Josh whispered to me, trying his best to not wake Chris. “You’ve been quiet all day. Did the prank upset you?”
I smiled slightly, turning to face him. “No, Josh, I’m fine. Just thinking.”
“About what?”
I didn’t want to tell the truth, I couldn’t. How was I supposed to tell him that the reason I was so distracted was because of him. The way he smiled, laughed, even cared for me, despite pranking me earlier on. It was all becoming too much for me to handle and I wasn’t sure how much longer that I could go without exposing my feelings. Chris already knew and he was often oblivious to others feelings, especially with his mutual crush on Ashley.
“A lot of thing,” I admitted, keeping it vague and hoping he wouldn’t ask for more information. However, it wasn’t my lucky day and he raised an eyebrow in a questioning manner.
“You can tell me,” he said.
No, Josh, I can’t, was the first thing to go through my mind. Not about this.
Sensing my silence, he did the typical Josh thing that he knew would get me to cave: puppy eyes.
With a sigh, I spoke. “Promise you won’t judge?”
“I promise,”
Another sigh, “I… like someone,”
Josh’s eyes widened, only for a moment. “Oh…” His voice had an underlying emotion, one I had never heard from his before and something that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. “Who is it?” He asked, seemingly pleading once again.
I simply remained silent, all whilst my head screamed his name.
“I won’t judge, I swear,” he pleaded again. “Even if it is someone really stupid.”
“Depends if you’re stupid,” the words left my lips before I could stop them, my eyes immediately widening as I realised my mistake.
“Me…?”
“Shit, sorry,” I sighed, pulling away from him, only to have my hand grabbed, preventing me from moving.
“Don’t move…. Please.”
“Are you sure?”
“Never been surer of anything in my life.” He said, face leaning forward towards me. “Stay still.” He whispered, pausing for a moment before pressing his lips against mine.
It was as though my body went into autopilot, immediately kissing him back as my hand landed on his neck, his going to my waist. I could have stayed like that forever, and perhaps I would have had a voice not broken the moment.
“Finally!!” Chris laughed.
Josh and I pulled away from one another, a blush on both our cheeks.
“Chris!”
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