#project seer

[teacup-of-creativity]

Reconnecting to my Inspiration

Lately something I’ve been trying to do as I delve deeper into these revisions for my novel is reconnect with the things that inspired me at first. 

Listen, I started this novel seven years ago, back in 2016, so as I’m sure you can imagine there’s a lot about my original vision that I’ve forgotten over the years. Between the simple passage of time, and the continuous voice in my head telling my that my story wasn’t “professional” enough, or “real literature”, the course of the book shifted considerably. I tried to change it so much to fit these lofty ideas of what a book by me should be, that I forgot what it was that I WANTED to write.  

And what I want to write is GOOD, but SILLY! Silly at least to the great thinkers of this world who sit in their ivory towers and declare that “The red curtains in that short story must have symbolized something!” (I’m sure you know the kind.) But when I remembered FINALLY or maybe, more like realized for the first time, that I wasn’t writing for them, I was writing for myself and the people who enjoy what I do, a massive weight was lifted from my shoulders and a freedom and excitement to rediscover my story began to set in. But after so long, I was a little lost. I couldn’t remember all the things which had given me my catalyzing thoughts back in high school, or worse, I couldn’t remember the thoughts!

So!

I recently started going back through all the media I could recall influenced or inspired Project Seer (that’s what we’re calling it for now), and dipping my toes back into the world and mind of 16 year old Rachel. 

A brief list of said materials I have recently rewatched (or something similar) for this very purpose is as follows:

Yona of the Dawn

The Last Kingdom,

Any lecture on feudalism I can get my hands on,

Miraculous Ladybug (just the new movie for now, we’ll see if I still have the stomach for the show later I suppose),

I JUST started rewatching Kuro Mukuro, which! Let me tell you-- is not at all something I thought I would need to help me write my medieval fantasy novel. It’s a modern mecha anime! With... Aliens?! It’s a little unclear! But the point is, it wasn’t until I actually clicked on that first episode and let it play for a minute that I remembered:

This is the show with a samurai from the sengokujidai as a main character! Feudalism is baked into the essence of the show, as this samurai character lives by his codes and morals, protecting the girl he perceives to be his princess. Another thing! A blue haired girl a little clueless to the absolute danger she has found herself mixed up in, having to constantly be guarded by a boy honoring an oath! Sound familiar?? (Probably not because I haven’t really talked about that aspect of my book yet, but I promise you, it’s in there!) How about inexplicable attraction and helping someone even if you don’t have a good reason why? A strong pining slow burn? Okay, I think you get the picture. 

Basically, all that to say-- There is so much to be gained by remembering where your ideas have come from, and by remembering to engage with the things that breed creativity in your soul. For me, the things that do that don’t always come from the most likely of places, clearly, as detailed above. But I’m learning all over not to judge a book by its cover. You never know where inspiration will strike, or what one random line from a book will spark a thought in your head that will fix an entire plot hole! (Thanks, Destroyer by Meg Smitherman!) And finding those things that will continuously inspire you, that lead you in the directions or vibes you want to go is so so SO important. 

Don’t lose sight of who you are. Don’t lose sight of what you love. Otherwise you may end up doing a deep dive and reliving your teenage years, (watching a show with a MASSIVE cliff hanger ending but no season three!) like me. 

But in all seriousness, this last almost year of my publishing journey has been so inundated with self reflection and discovery, it has been painful. But this is part of it that is actually helping me feel alive again, like myself again. And I’m really, really, REALLY, enjoying it.  

It’s making writing fun again.