#progress is being made 🙏🏻

[ririabeam]

𝗕𝗶𝗿𝘁𝗵𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗗𝗲𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

—

I drew this to cope with my birthday depression.

Took 5 months. I also wanted to beat my old manhwa from 5 years ago.

-- Long post ahead! It's my WIPS and thought process. --

Junko is my comfort character as she's the only character I know who hates her birthday.

(Screenshot from Ultimate Talent Development Plan)

I know she’s a villain who has done a lot of bad things, but finding comfort and liking her doesn’t mean I excuse her actions.

A lot of painful feelings went into this, even in Mukuro's perspective so please respect it 🙏🏻

—

- WIPS & Thought Process -

—

Story Script Writing:

A lot of thoughts and feelings went into my script.

-I removed sentences like “For giving me cake!” as I wanted to do more showing than telling.

-“Why do you seem so happy Mukuro?” is changed to “Why are you smiling like that, Mukuro?” as I wanted the sentence to focus more on the thing Ryoko noticed. Mukuro would definitely be happy celebrating Ryoko’s birthday, and the new sentence would help to understand how Ryoko interpreted that Mukuro was more happy than usual.

-“good day” is changed to “great day” for greater emphasis of Ryoko’s happiness.

-A pun is done on “live”, I wanted this sentence to convey the complicated feelings of Junko. She doesn’t want to “live” a “fabricated happy lie” as it goes against her honesty moral. But there’s also a part of her that doesn’t want to kill Ryoko, as she doesn’t want to “leave” this “fabricated happy lie”. She wants to be happy as Ryoko, even if it’s a lie.

This part is a big reference and a reply to Danganronpa Zero.

The background texts are quotes from Danganronpa Zero.

Junko saying “What the hell? Hope?” is a reference to Danganronpa Zero’s ending:

Reading Danganronpa Zero feels like it’s saying something to me: “We are trapped in a loop of despair and hope.” and I’m replying with this part as a “Yes, I agree.”

Junko being confined in her mind is another thing I like about her too. 

I feel the moment we are born, we are trapped, that’s why I ended this comic with “I wish I wasn’t born.”

The moment I’m born, I’m unwanted and worthless, a monster.

I’m trapped in my mind, in other people’s judgements and expectations, and there’s no way out.

I can’t just turn invisible and there’s always something for people to judge and hate. And that hurts when it’s something important to you or you can’t change about yourself.

But even with all the pain, I think of hope to carry on and it’s a loop to fight to live.

I think I make progress with healing but then I’d think wth I’m made to work on this. Cause my life is already scripted from the moment I was born— I’m scripted to have this trauma, this story made my personality and character so in the end I’m still trapped.

So that’s another reason why I find Junko a comforting character and why I feel birthday depression.

I thought of the story first before I thought of the characters who would play it, so I had to make sure it’s in character. 

Things like if Mukuro would say “AU” or “Alternate Universe”. I felt since she spent a lot of time with Junko who knows a lot about these things, she would have heard of this and know the short form term for it. Especially since she had to be Junko at some point.

Since it’s a story about Birthday Depression, my thoughts instantly went to Junko then to Mukuro. It was the perfect story theme to write for them especially cause they are the despair sisters. 

Plus, they are two characters I can feel their struggles and feelings deeply for, so I can write and draw deeply for this story.

Birthdays tend to be happy, and I felt the only kinda right time I can talk about my birthday depression would be on their day.

I felt suffocated and lost myself over the past few years, as I felt I needed to be happy no matter what. When I opened up about sadness and my struggles, people would hate and invalidate me for it. I feel my art reflects that, I don’t like looking back at my old art. It lacked my true feelings, but I feel I’m finding myself again in my Mirai Nikki and Danganronpa art.

For the past few years I tried to celebrate my birthday to try to make myself happy about it but in the long run it didn’t work. I appreciate everyone who celebrated with me all these years still, but now I’m trying to overcome it in another way— facing despair instead of trying to cover it with hope.

I think I’ve learnt a lot about myself and understood myself better through this comic’s process.

Layout Plan:

You can see that things were changed in the final from my layout plan X’D haha

In page 2, Mukuro’s 1st panel is changed so composition is better.

In page 3, after seeing Ryoko as Junko, Mukuro is reaching out her hand instead of placing it on her chest. I wanted it to feel like Mukuro wants to reach out to Ryoko at that moment, like trying to get a wish she knows isn’t real.

In page 5, binary code is replaced with texts from Danganronpa Zero’s story so it reinforces the idea of “a life already fully planned out”.

Lining Process:

I struggled with this part the most as anatomy and poses is not my strong point.

I asked my friend, Setsuya, for help with my poses and redrew the same pose many times for this comic. I really wanted to convey the feelings for this comic right especially since it’s very personal to me. Big thanks to her for helping me so much, I feel I improved a lot from this! 🥺 <3

1st panel of 1st page is the hardest to draw, I’m laughing at my first try of Mukuro who looks like she’s forced to be there 😂:

With suggestions from my friend of how to improve, I tried to improve everyone’s poses:

^ 

Mukuro’s pose was changed to look more fondly at Ryoko, happy to be there and relaxed haha.

Ryoko’s pose was changed to look more delighted and happy about the cake (Which helps to convey the line I removed from my script, “For giving me cake!”)

Matsuda’s pose was changed to look a bit more annoyed about still cares for Ryoko (shown by him still looking at her from the corner of his eyes even though his head is turned away)

And haha I forgot Ryoko’s legs can be seen due to the table frills being transparent, so I had to go back and draw her legs X’D

For this panel, a lot of thoughts went into what things I should place, how they are placed, and what kind of items it should be e.g.

I wanted it to tell the story of what happened before all the characters gathered here, what their feelings are towards each other, and how they are like as individual characters :3

I was thinking Mukuro and Matsuda love Ryoko so much they spoil her by buying a giant cake haha X’D So that’s why there’s a plastic knife instead of a real knife— to show that the cake was bought.

I think they decided not to cook as they would fight about it… (idk if they know how to cook tbh)

I chose strawberry shortcake cause white = purity and red strawberries = blood X’D Kinda like Ryoko-

I was about to draw neatly cut and placed cakes but I think... Ryoko is bad at cutting… X’D so the cakes are lying flat with the cream a bit splattered on their plates.

The table cloth, spoons and plates are all elegant and neat cause Mukuro prepared it for Ryoko :3 I don’t think Matsuda would be able to do that since he seems to not be a tidy person X’D but I do think he probably decided these items and arrangement with Mukuro :3

Here’s a random joke Matsuda + My roughly drawn Promised Neverland manga cover before I squeezed it on to his book haha:

I was going to make Matsuda read Megaman at first like in canon, but I felt making him read “Promised Neverland” was fitting as it helped me bring some foreboding to my happy setting. Like the promise never landed cause I’m going to break my happy promise/premise X’D 

I felt it was fitting too as Matsuda wasn’t met with a good fate like the Promised Neverland children.

Plus I feel Matsuda would like a genre like that, or perhaps he wouldn’t mind anything as he is a laid back character.

This pose was changed so Ryoko would look more reserved and have less of a romantic vibe? Cause the intertwined fingers felt a bit more romantic and off to me, as it wasn’t the vibe I was going for.

Feat. The paper sketch is my friend helping me with anatomy X’)

While writing sentences and drawing for Mukuro’s scenes, I was thinking of experiences I’ve gone through before and the feelings I felt then. 

The way I wished things could be different. I kept having dreams of happy endings I wanted to happen but then I would wake up to the tragic reality and cry.

The way I was suffering on the inside but still held on to this thing I perceived as “Hope” even though it was killing me and could be seen as “Despair” in another POV/or I already knew it was bad for me but it was also my only hope.

Symbolisms for this panel:

Carrying a candle-> holding on to hope/a wish.

Candle not blown out -> Mukuro's wish didn't come true (blowing out a candle means bringing your wish on smoke to the good spirits above to grant your wish) , her hoping leading to despair.

My pose was changed here as it is more natural for the hands to be like that, plus the other hand holding on to the arm greater empathise how Mukuro is holding on strongly to this candle.

The candle is melting and the wax is getting on her hand, burning her. Still, she refuses to let go which empathises how much she needs to hold on to this. Even as she grabs her own hand causing more pain from bleeding, she still needs this “hope.” 

Some colour tests for this panel:

I was considering blue fire because blue fire is stronger than red.... but then if it is a wish of hope, I was considering yellow too... but maybe it would be too happy? 

Mukuro is feeling sad and wishful in this panel. 

I ended up going for blue fire which gives off yellow light for a purposeful contradictory colouring— to show that what is perceived as despair can also be perceived as hope.

^ Some exploration for the poses here so I can figure out which conveys what I wanted to convey the best. I like the poses where Mukuro is reserved happy, Ryoko is more playful(?), Matsuda is more relaxed.

^ Exploration for the Junko slash pose. Ended up just going back to the original pose I had planned for the layout.

I found this super hard to draw as I’m not good at anatomy, drew it quite a few times and deleted as I couldn’t draw it right. In the end, my friend drew that pose reference which helped me get it right in final!

Reasons why I chose the original layout pose in the end:

Strangle pose-> I don't want to strangle Ryoko, not because it’s too violent or graphic or that she's 🥺uwu and I can’t kill her-

I just feel Junko doesn’t completely hate Ryoko... a part of her wants to live a happy life after all

But she can’t, that's why the words "A fabricated happy lie, I don’t want to live this!"

It's a lie and it's against her value (honesty).

Sword slashing pose-> Junko is directly jumping towards and has no hesitation slashing Ryoko. This feels off cause it’s too violent which doesn’t convey the message I want.

Sword is also stronger than knife, which would hurt more.

When I see the knife and how the body is twisted a bit away in the original layout pose, it works better as I can see some control to the slash so it's not full on hatred and anger towards Ryoko.

Random full drawing of this Junko before I cut it off for composition.

I find it easier to get the anatomy right if I draw the full thing and draw through everything.

^ I’m super sad at my failure for this :,) I didn’t intend it to be like that 😭 

It’s too hard for me to draw, so my friend helped me again and I chose a pose and studied her pose and drew the whole pose again:

I chose the 1st pose because the angle of the faces there best shows both character’s facial expressions and the emotions are the most important for this scene.

Plus 3/4 angle is better than the flat side view one as it helps make this scene more dramatic!

My friend helped me with the position of Junko’s tie:

reached max images for this post so,

WIPS continued in another post

[punkpandapatrixk]

🍀Lady Luck on Your Side ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

There is no economic system that’s perfectly perfect. Whatever system you’re in, what’s wise to do is make the best out of all streams of possibilities viable within that system. Transcend above the stupidity and strike your Lucky 3 (Jupiter’s number LOL)🍄

In Astrology, the Lady Luck is represented by Mother Jupiter—the planet of expansion and good luck. The thing about luck, Love, is that you can’t plan around it. You can only prepare yourself and your resources the best you can and then gamble it all away. Gamble your fucking Life away at big endeavours that you know your Soul intends for you. Have faith in your divine abilities, bitch~🐞

If you fail, you learn!🐌

You are a Luck Magnet for as long as you believe in yourself. Be confident in that the essence of your beingness is enough for manifesting all you’re meant to see manifest in your lifetime🍀

Jupiter Sign: the psychology with which you philosophise shit

Jupiter House placement: areas of Life most blessed by the grace of Jupiter’s expansion

Planets in 9th House: indicate a need to expand beyond a simpleton mindset!!

‘The secret is not to chase the butterflies but to take care of your garden so they’ll come to you.’ – an old proverb

SONG: Baby Face by Sakamoto Maaya

MOVIE: Cruella (2021)

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 3]

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – Patiently Revealing All Your Glorious Petals

lucky money (insights into lucky career opportunities) – Knight of Pentacles Rx

I’ve got to say your opportunities are the most unique here, and very likely quite challenging in that you must have patience. Lady Luck says that the path most suited to your lucky money involves your being a ghost. Hustling in secret, hiding your plans and spiritual truths from everybody else and treading very carefully on the way towards your goal. This could take many years! For many of you, this could be the loneliest path because nobody around you seems to understand your visions, or the intuitive nudges you know your Higher Self is directing you towards🛴

You were put in environments where most people don’t understand you (or they simply don’t share your visions) because your Higher Self intended for you to exercise navigating adversaries. This was part of your Soul’s scenario, you know. Stormy seas make the best sailors, kind of scenario. In that sense, you’ve been met with many uncomfortable situations, even dangerous and painful encounters and goodbyes to advance your evolution. Fear not, for you have not lost but gained valuable perspectives what will ensure good karma returning to you when you’re older🎆

For the majority of you reading this, your Jupiter will begin to really shine a light on your real lucky career path after you’ve graduated your first Saturn Return. Typically, by the time you’re between 29 and 33, things will get that much clearer and you’ll regain your motivation (if you’ve lost it at some point) and feel really glad you’ve made it thus far. The future accessible to you will begin to feel astonishingly clear and you will be excited but still need to work on that patience LMAO

lucky daily (ways to increase luck every day) – Page of Wands

Having said all of that, many of you reading this may feel quite frustrated at the idea that you’re only gonna get your successes at a later age. Especially if you’ve survived your first Saturn Return and you’re only beginning, you may have felt quite like a loser in comparison to these 20-somethings already achieving so much in Life… But, who’s to say all of that is gonna last? Sometimes, people gain a lot at a young age only to have all of that swept away by the time motherfucking Saturn returns to get them LOL Well, that, too, is part of their spiritual evolution, so~🙏🏻

Remember that you’re not in a competition with anybody or even Destiny itself. To increase your luck daily, Jupiter is saying: enjoy every single day you get to make progress on your true ideal career. Whatever it is that you’re doing right now, and if you aren’t yet where you envision yourself to be, you can still enjoy every single step you manage to take on a daily basis to get you closer to where you want to be. You’re learning and gaining momentum, aren’t you? All these little steps matter in the grander scheme of your Higher Self’s orchestration to bring to your doorstep all that you deserve📦

Of all the piles, I have a strong feeling your manifestation is the most guarded by the Higher Realms. You’re meant to go through hoops and learn to prepare yourself very well so that you could build a strong foundation that is sure to have longevity. The thing you’re meant to do, to have, to express, to create and build, unlike many, many others who need to learn through gain and loss of the very things that matter to them, is going to be yours forever once you establish it. The whole idea of unlocking achievements in accordance to age is pure scam. You are safe and perfectly on time🎯

lucky strike (big blessings you’re destined to obtain) – Knight of Wands Rx

Let me let you in on a secret. Mental clarity/health is absolutely paramount to your success story. Plenty of young people get crowned with massive successes without having a strong foundation of morality or empathy, and least of all, spirituality. For example… How many times have we heard tragical Hollywood stories where young celebs/influencers became the IT girls/boys very early on only to crumble and get shattered by the time they’re in their late 20s or early 30s? (Saturn freaking Return!) All because they’re so out of touch with reality🤷🏻‍♀️

Not saying they’re terrible seeds per se, but perhaps it was their environment/upbringing what didn’t allow them to bloom beautifully the way you are with your emotional and spiritual maturity. Whatever career choice you have in mind, know that when you’re finally established there, you’re going to be so based, so grounded in reality that everybody is going to have immense respect for you for the things you say and contribute to your cause📢

Your lucky break may indeed require a slow, careful planning, all behind the scenes, too. You are meant to develop in the fog and mists, away from the beady eyes of those who might seek to trample over everything you’re building. Nobody would ever guess what your next lucky chapter would look like! But you do. You do so well because you’re working on it every day, diligently and resiliently. Maybe you don’t know yet, but Lady Luck is visiting a lot sooner than logically expected hahah And when she carries you through those winds of change…🥂

DESTINY SERVING TEA🔻💙

mother Jupiter on your side (message from Jupiter) – Red Astronomer (Johannes Kepler)

merging with your Higher Self (the weight of destiny) – Priestess of Clarity

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – Resiliently Growing in the Mud

lucky money (insights into lucky career opportunities) – 2 of Cups Rx

Harmony is definitely integral to your spiritual sanity. You’re not the type of person who can thrive in a dog-eat-dog industry. When people are ugly to each other at the workplace, it fucks most of your brain’s functions up. This coldass capitalistic system doesn’t suit you; and if you can’t seem to catch up, it’s not because you’re a failure, but because you’re wired towards a more high-vibrational existence. An existence where people’s interactions are generally pleasant and—in some instances—beautiful💞

There must be some significant Libra/7th House or Pisces/12th House placements in your birth chart that are pulling you towards creating harmony in your work environment. Being surrounded by ease and beauty is of paramount importance to your optimal functioning. If you’ve ever experienced some kind of a professional heartbreak from betrayal/cruelty by co-workers or bosses, that environment ain’t where you belong, and it is perfectly safe for you to eject yourself from that hellhole. There are better things more suited to your Style🌈

Lady Luck says you may be more suited to working alone until you establish yourself enough to make collaborations with others who are quite similar to you in terms of their general politeness and delightful visions for the world. Wow that’s a longass sentence. For example, a vibe I’m getting is a small business owner selling whatever beautiful and creative things you can produce on your own. Even if not selling, you could have, for example, a YT channel showcasing your real-time painting or any other interests/talents you may have and get money from rolling ads🎞

lucky daily (ways to increase luck every day) – 6 of Cups

If you’ve ever had frustrating, or even painful, experiences in the corporate world—whatever the setting may be—that whole ordeal was truly teaching you the importance of working with just a small circle of trustworthy individuals to move forward with. Integrity is crucial in your daily choices. Sharing ideas and stories with kindred spirits is the way to go in your case. That you never betray your own purity, that you don’t give in to selling your Soul to the Devil, that you never let yourself kowtow to the System…

All of these brave decisions are what’s going to be favoured by the Lady Luck. In different scenarios this endeavour may take some time, but don’t fret, because for most people, accessing the Power of Jupiter does take some maturing. It does take some experiencing, some intel-gathering, some philosophising over many, many things that are eating away at your sanity. The moment you become clear about those wrong things is the moment you regain control over your daily choices🍭

You may want to look at what your 6th House sign and placement entail for your healthy habit-building~ You’re a bit of a Faery Soul, an Elven Soul, or maybe a Mermaid Soul; you’re gentle and more sensitive than most Humans. Maintaining harmony and balance in your everyday Life is key to increasing your Luck daily. You’re spiritual and creative, and so, if you allow yourself to indulge in soulful activities as part of your money-making endeavours, Lady Luck is going to gladly visit you every day~🌬

lucky strike (big blessings you’re destined to obtain) – 5 of Wands Rx

It isn’t to say that you’re meant to only live a secluded, hermit lifestyle. As mentioned earlier, you could benefit from working alone when you’re just starting on your passion project. You’re more suited to working solo and figuring things out yourself as you build a livelihood that’s generally pleasant every day~🌌

When you’ve raised your vibrations enough and be super charming and confident because you’re making money by living authentically, you’re going to become a magnet for amazing, one-of-a-kind, kindred spirits who are just as unconventional as yourself. You’re going to be glad because your connections and relationships are going to be exciting without stupid dramas. This in itself could lead to amazing collaborations with those who share similar visions as yourself🌉

You are definitely amongst those convention breakers who will show others that operating on nothing but the spirit of competition in the professional world is dumb as fuck. People thrive when they collab with those of similar tastes and minds. When all’s said and done, you’re meant to have a Life of ease and a lot of cheer with unique individuals living high-vibrationally interesting lives, carving your own alternative existence~💠

DESTINY SERVING TEA🔻💛

mother Jupiter on your side (message from Jupiter) – Green Astronomer (Nicolaus Copernicus)

merging with your Higher Self (the weight of destiny) – Priestess of Inspiration

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – It’s Like You’re Growing Money on Trees, My Goodness!

lucky money (insights into lucky career opportunities) – Page of Pentacles Rx

It’s clear you’ve done some heavy shadow work, maybe it’s only begun quite recently; but for some, this may have been ongoing for quite a number of years. Whatever the case may be, and however old you may be, there’s this feeling that you’re starting over. You’re just beginning to live again. This time around, you’re living on your own terms; you’re feeling, ‘This is who I should’ve always been!’ And you feel incredibly glad, for the most part😶

It’s perfectly normal to feel sad sometimes, after all, a lot of shit you’ve faced. For quite some time, you totally bought the hustle culture—the thing about it was that you were ludicrously hard on yourself. I sense a majority of you reading this are Millennials? Or perhaps older Gen Zs. Anyway, your expectations on yourself were hurting you so much. After some shadow work, you realised da problem wasn’t you; it was the System. You were scammed big time🤬

Thus you quit a whole industry and began cultivating your own Art. This is the spiritual pile for sure. I sense many of you reading this resonate with being a Lightworker, Starseed, or a Mystic even. You could be doing tarot readings yourself; running a blog channelling cosmic messages from higher beings; some could have a YT channel dedicated to New Age spirituality or esoteric occult knowledge; and some could even be a detective or in the investigative field. WHOA. If you’re not already doing these thing, Spirit Guides are saying you would be very blessed by the Lady Luck if you thrust yourself into these types of work😘

lucky daily (ways to increase luck every day) – 5 of Pentacles Rx

Whoa… do I need to give you any advice or anything? Bitch, you cracked the code! You’re practically a master manifestor at this point in your Life. I sense some of you reading this may not resonate just yet but you’ve literally transcended far above the need for money. Right now, if you allow yourself to calm down, you’ll realise you could just sit down every day and money grows on your trees~🌳

You’ve quite become an embodiment of your Higher Self, and that Oversoul of yours knows you’re unlimited. There is no more lack in your subconscious, let’s just put it that way. Now your conscious, your logical brain, just needs to adjust to this new paradigm (if not already) and you will be effortlessly attracting the means to afford all that you need to move forward. With 5 of Pentacles in reverse—namely a trauma card—Spirit Guides are saying you’re in a healing phase right now🧸

If—IF—certain days you feel tired, fatigued, drowsy for an entire day, and just unmotivated to work even on something you’re passionate about, please know this is your body still recuperating from the adrenal stress caused by long years of having to hustle or simply having a hustle mindset. You’re not doing anything wrong and you’re not failing, OK? Your intelligent body is just telling you it’s safe to slow down now. It’s perfectly good to sleep aaallll day and just feed and clean yourself for 5 consecutive days if that’s really all you can do to maintain mental and spiritual balance. That spiritual balance is what’s going to effortlessly manifest all the abundance you’re so deserving, so don’t be afraid of ‘missing’ some work days~🛌

lucky strike (big blessings you’re destined to obtain) – 4 of Cups

There is a sense of stability that you’re going to manifest pretty soon in your Life (if not already LOL). In some regards, this stability could even feel rather boring, uneventful, just because you were quite used to having a lot of chaos in your previous chapter of Life. But this stability will serve as a big ‘rehab period’ for you to truly shift your paradigm. And then, once you manage to get all your ducks in a row in your new paradigm…🦆

Pretty soon you’re gonna see everything in your Life move quite fast. If by any chance you’ve resonated with this: ‘I feel like everything has changed so much, yet nothing seems to have changed at all…’ please know this is actually yourself slowing things down so you don’t manifest another set of stressful unfolding of events! This was preordained by your Higher Self! Hahah…

The reason for this is that at this point in your spiritual evolution, you’ve become really particular about high-quality manifestations you’re willing to entertain within the construct of your own Reality. So much so that you simply won’t entertain the manifestation of good opportunities if it’s going to be stressful. NO STRESS is a big part of your magick. This concept literally goes beyond just material things; pretty soon you’ll see that you’re only manifesting high-quality experiences, environments, encounters, and even Love🦢

DESTINY SERVING TEA🔻💜

mother Jupiter on your side (message from Jupiter) – Gold Alchemist (Roger Bacon)

merging with your Higher Self (the weight of destiny) – Priestess of Intuition

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

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[stargazestories]

OWN MY MIND (M)

Paring: modelJeonghanx model reader

Category: one shot

Warnings: SMUT minors DONOT INTERACT!

Hardcore smut? Oral (f receiving) degradation, insults? Degradation kink, heel kink,Sadomasochism(light),sadism(light), squirting, hair pulling

A/n: If I’m honest I’m not sure if the warnings labels 100% fall into those categories, but I rather be safe. Please enjoy still 🙏🏻

Jeonghan knocked on the door to the luxurious apartment, waiting after the 3rd knock, his hands fidgeting but quickly stopped when he saw the door open to reveal y/n who wore a confused look for a brief moment.

“Yoon” was all she said.

“We need to talk”

She had thought about it for a moment but gave in and let him walk inside.

“So, What do I owe the displeasure of having you here?” She asked as she guided him to her large living room and motioned him to sit across from her. Something about her tone, the fact that she could care less that THE Yoon Jeonghan, was there to talk to her, made him question his status.

“I wanted to come and…apologize” he was barely able to say that last part.

“Apologize?” She repeated with a hint of amusement, one that Jeonghan noticed.

“Yes…I apologize for my behavior at the photo shoot, I had not intention of offending you” his apology sounded sincere but she shook her head.

“You aren’t sorry” was so cold in her response, it began to send chills down his spine.

“I-i am” his confidence faltering.

“If you are really sorry, come here and beg for my forgiveness” her lips curled to a devilish smirk.

Jeonghan was taken back by her request. In the time he had in this industry, he never once apologized to anyone. The fact she was asking this of him with such assertiveness, he wasn’t sure what to do. A portion of him wanted to tell her off, but the other half was telling him to follow whatever she says.

“Then leave”

“N-no” he got up and walked to her, head down. The distance was short but it felt like an eternity. She looked up at him, her eyes filled with a dark desire. He just stood in front of her, not completely sure how to beg.

“Kneel to me”

“what?” He snapped his head at her

“I didn’t stutter”

He gulped and kneeled down to her, in front of her feet that were adorned by black stiletto heels. For some reason he couldn’t bring himself to look at her again, every time he looked at her, it felt like a trance.

“I’m waiting” she taunted him, she reveled at the sight of Jeonghan, the golden boy of the modeling industry, here at her feet. He had made a piss poor impression on y/n, with being late to their first photoshoot, then trying to use his charm to get away with it, but she quickly proved to be a challenge for him.

Y/n was known for her fierce attitude and commanding presence, one that was not to be crossed with. Unfortunately for Jeonghan, his tardiness had already put him in her bad graces. Things only got worse as Jeonghan attempted to charm the beautiful woman into forgiving him but she was having none of it, dismissing him with a wave of her hand.

Things progressed for the worse for Jeonghan, as during the photo shoot, y/n took charge. She practically barked orders at him and criticized his poses, Jeonghan, used to being the center of attention, practically resented her for putting him in his place. He had offered to take her to dinner as an apology, but y/n rejected it as well. It’s the very reason he’s right here, in front of her, on his knees, he was begging for forgiveness.

“I’m….sorry” he said softly, the confidence from before completely gone. She leaned in and grabbed his collar tight, pulling him in rough, his eyes widened as she brought him in, inches away from her face. “What are you sorry for?”, she teased. Her face was so close he could feel her breath on his lips and her warm vanilla perfume filled his nose, something about it was intoxicating to him.

His eyes finally met hers as his breathing became more shallow, “I-I’m sorry for being late”. Noticing the tension that was building up, y/n decided to take things further.

Y/n pulled his collar back in once more and pushed the man down onto her polished carpet, standing over him as he watched her every move,“and why are you sorry?hm?”

The flustered look on his face, along with the lingering tension was making this more fun for her. As for Jeonghan, he felt his body heat rise, his chest rising and falling quickly as he answered again “because I-I didn’t mean to upset you” she laughed, this was the first time he heard her laugh or have any emotion besides disdain toward him. She put her heel on his chest as she pushed him down while keeping her grin, “do you think I should accept your apology?”, the pressure she applied caused him to let out a groan. Her eyes wandered down his body and noticed not only his breathing but something growing down south.

“Don’t make me ask twice” she pressed down again, harder this time, seeing it had an effect on his body. “Yes! please!” He yelled as he closed his eyes as he let out a breathy moan.

“Please what? Use your words” she asked as she removed the pressure off his chest and slowly brought her heel down south of his body. She had noticed the growing tent between his legs and couldn’t help herself to lightly graze his hard on with her heel. Jeonghan was dazed, his body was reacting on its own but he didn’t even attempt to fight it. The way she commanded him, demanded him to answer her, the pain she was inflicting on him, made his head spin. “Please forgive me!” He whined with his soft voice.

She had stopped rubbing at his crotch which made him whimper for more, “so pathetic” she lifted her skirt, and exposed her lace black panties in front of him making Jeonghan gawk at her, she was so god damn beautiful and the vision of ecstasy. She rolled her thong down and off of her legs, exposing her glistening pussy to him.

“You don’t deserve my apology, right?”

“I don’t” he didn’t hesitate to answer. Y/n shoved her lace thong in his mouth as she continued to humiliate him by laughing at him, “learning fast” she praised him, if you can call it that , “I’ll forgive you….if you can make me cum” Jeonghan nodded fast, wanting to be forgiven so bad by her.

She walked back to her spot on the sofa chair, giving Jeonghan the pleasure of seeing the sight of her ass before sitting on the armchair and using her finger to gesture to him to come over. Jeonghan wasted no time but was stopped half way “ah!….come to me on your hands and knees” she demanded. Jeonghan nodded and slowly made his way to y/n, stopping right in front of her feet.

Y/n lifted his face and removed her panties from his mouth, softly grazing his lips with her thumb and getting a good look at his hazy eyes. Jeonghan licked his lips earning another smile from her as she leaned back, getting comfortable, she extended one leg out to him while hoisting the other on the edge of the sofa to expose her seeping core at him. Jeonghan lightly held her extended leg, first kissing the side of the black patent heel, trailing his kisses upwards slowly, letting every single kiss linger, one after the other, earring soft hums from y/n who was taking in the sight of him, the neediness, and the desire he displayed just for her.

His trail of kisses made their way up to her inner thigh till he made his way to her core, where he took a moment to admire how it was soaked, wanting nothing more than just a taste. Using the flat side of his tongue, he gave her cunt a long lick flicking her clit with his tongue, making y/n let out a breathy moan. Jeonghan kissed her clit again before giving it his full attention, licking it and suckin on it, making y/n mule in pleasure. Y/n took her hand and ran it through his hair, which by now was sticking to his face due to his sweat from the heat of it all, gripping it to push him further in forcefully.

Jeonghan was practically suffocating in her soaking pussy, drinking her up desperately, the vibrations of his moans against her made her bite her lip as the waves of pleasure flooded her body. “Fuck!-“ she gripped his hair harder making him cry of pleasure as he continued to ravage her. “Eat me out like the pathetic man you are, ah fuck” this turned Jeonghan on, the way she degraded him, demanding and commanding him to make her climax.

Smothering his face all over her cunt, Jeonghan sucked on her pussy, making no attempt to catch his breath until she came. With every lick and suck y/n arched her back and pushed Jeonghan's face deeper in, feeling her climax close. Jeonghan stuck his tongue right in her and swirled it around her walls, face fully covered in her sweet juices, feeling her legs quiver at the action. Y/n let out a final groan of pleasure, her hips pushed forward to him as she squirted all over his face as her climax washed over her body, riding the ecstasy.

Jeonghan pulled back, face and hair covered in her, completely strung out in pleasure of having her cum all over him.

Y/n caught her breath as she pushed herself forward to meet his face again, slowly eyeing him, his breathing was labored and the way his half lid eyes were fully entranced by her, he looked perfect this way. She licked his lips, getting a taste “you're forgiven”.

[studentbyday]

a september packed with purpose 🏵️ (goals for the 2024-2025 academic year)

an attempt to live a meaningful life even if it's really busy.

🎓 academic goals:

stay on top of my schoolwork. not feeling like i'm running after deadlines but staying organized, calm, and methodical, even if there's a lot.

change up my study strats! turn text into diagrams! shorter focus periods followed by an active break to ease myself into the semester!

study 8h per day or less if at all possible (for official schoolwork)

👩🏻‍🔬 career goals:

finish databases courses to increase my career capital (i sped read so good they can't ignore you this summer and it was both inspiring and practical - grateful for the feeling of having a roadmap...even if it's vague.)

do everything to become so good the lab i'm interested in joining can't ignore me (i have pretty much no current affiliation with them or their university so this is gonna be an uphill climb unless maybe i seem like a perfect fit...)

🌳 lifestyle and adulting goals:

develop a can-do attitude and work on my growth mindset

continue to practice driving at least 3x per week before it snows

become a 6AM girlie (or an 8PM girlie, if you're looking at the sleeping time lol) so i have a few hours of calm, focused silence in the morning which will minimize the amount of time i need to spend studying after dinner (planning to take advantage of the jet lag and the fact that the sun sets earlier in winter, making me sleepy sooner 😠)

re-gain some level of fitness to counter my couch potato summer habits and all the sitting i'll be doing this semester

🤸🏻‍♀️ more fun goals:

apply to volunteer with my local horticultural society and hopefully start volunteering soon (hoping to work on their newsletter as that's something i miss from my high school days! something familiar will also be good for easing into my "reintegration into society" era as a previously "studying hermit". perhaps once i get so comfortable i feel like i'm plateauing, i can branch into being a volunteer gardener! i have absolutely zero successful experience with plants, so it would be really nice to have some guidance from people who've made and maintained such pretty gardens in my community 💗)

make time for piano (ideally at least 1h 3-4 days of the week, but i will be happy if i even get to touch the keys for less than 1h of practice 3-4 days a week. if i can do this, then i can more reasonably justify getting a real acoustic piano at home and maybe even take lessons again when things get less busy...and i don't have to fear not making progress or even getting worse on the digital in the meantime because my fingers and brain get re-accustomed to the acoustic feel and sound options surprisingly, happily quickly even if i only get to play on one for a few days of a year, which is already quite a privilege 🥺🙏🏻 in the meantime, i need to maintain/improve my dexterity, sight-reading skills, and theory knowledge. i don't plan to read the theory book front to back anymore, i'll just read the bits i'm most interested in and maybe eventually that will mean covering the whole book but i won't start with that intention in mind 🤷🏻‍♀️)

sOmEhOw have the energy to comprehend even 1 duolingo lesson in japanese ~daily if only to one day get to a level where i can read more japanese books (and maybe even watch some animé without subs? no pressure tho since i'm very picky about animé 😂)

💭 nice to have but not pressing:

make it a habit to read a nerdy book or academic article that isn't directly for schoolwork to help me find my research interests, learn more about labs in my physical area, and/or re-ignite my passion for/sense of wonder with STEM and STEM-related issues 🔥

each week read something from suggested/recommended course reading lists if there are any

each month read a book completely unrelated to academics, something that distracts me or that feeds my soul or both (or if i can't do that, then just 1 such book each semester, i'm just after something rather than nothing)

🐝 productivity advice from one of my role models that i want to follow religiously this semester:

prioritize rest in order to think and act fast (10 hours of sleep! downtime! meditating! gentle exercise!)

schedule down to the minute but understand that as long as you're doing what you planned to do within the hour you planned to do it, you're good (that is assuming life doesn't happen and derail the entire day's plans but most days thankfully are not like that). give yourself lots of buffer (bigger, not smaller blocks of time in the calendar!).

understand that prioritizing means that you may fall behind in the unprioritized areas from time to time and have to catch up and that's completely expected and completely fine.

be selective about what you're "perfectionistic" with (it's not really about applying perfectionism, more like being picky about where you apply extreme conscientiousness). that is also part of prioritizing.

✏️ post schedule: 1-3x a week depending on time, energy, and what that means for my mental state 😅

[atomicami]

overnight sensation. (smau)

✧ character intro: core four

dina x latina masc!reader

✧ summary: in which dina, a small town artist struggling to get her name out there, is set up to work on a song with you, a trap artist from the city who’s progressively becoming more famous each day. despite you and dina having distinct tastes in music, you both make an attempt to form a song together… and maybe a little more than that

overnight sensation masterlist

✧ author’s note: hi everyone! so the idea to create this fic came up in my head one day and i’ve really needed to get it out of my system so…here we are. i also wanted to mention that the reader is latina coded in this! i doubt this fic is going to get any recognition because it’s not abby or ellie but like i said at this point i’m just posting it to get this idea out of my system. however, i’ve made a lot of visuals so far so i hope that makes up for it 🙏🏻 to all my dina lovers out there, this one’s for you.

as of now, we have four main characters in this fic. i know people usually incorporate additional characters too but since this is my first smau series i thought i’d keep it simple.

so aside from reader there’s dina of course, and there’s also jesse and manny who are dina and reader’s producers. and i know it’s unusual to implement manny as a character but the reason why i added him is literally because as long as i’m aware he’s like the only hispanic character in the game LOL but rest assured he’s not a bad character in this fic. you won’t even notice he’s there i promise!!

i don’t have a lot of people on board with me posting this other than my mutuals, but i wanted to thank these two amazing writers and their works that gave me the inspiration to make this fic:

✧ @spaceshipellie for her dina x masc!reader fics (and for responding to my anon post a while back)

✧ @phantombriide’s smau fic ‘and i love her’, by far one of my favorites out there!

i also have to say this fic has by far been the one that i have spent the most time and effort in making out of all of my works, so if y’all enjoy it please like and reblog!! i’ve been working really hard on it this past month so it truly means a lot to me 🤍

with that being said, here is the character intro for overnight sensation:

tags 🏷️: @ourautumn86 @abbyscherry @bababaka @zombholic @aouiaa @whore4abby @lunawonie

let me know if you’d like to be tagged as well!!

(might delete this if it flops though idk)

[slutforpringles]

I see everyone cranky about the article about perez's sponsors and the constructor's bonus. But i feel like it's gonna work out ok. Or ok-ish at least. The chances that daniel gets in the car and immediately makes up the difference in the constructor's is low. Max is struggling with the car and he's been in it all year. So either way the constructor's is likely a write off. This way, the bonus is covered. And they can still put daniel in for next year, especially if perez bottles the rest of season. Sponsor's or not, if he fucks it up and doesn't meet his contract clauses at least they're seen to have tried to help him meet the targets. So not totally pissing sponsors off. Maybe daniel doesn't have the exact same money behind him, but he is a big sponsor draw. Obviously it's bullshit on daniel's side to keep getting the goal posts moved, but I'm trying to hold on to the hope that it'll actually work in his favour! What do you think?

Yep I definitely think there are upsides to Daniel not being in the Red Bull. As you said it is a tricky car to drive currently, and while I wholeheartedly believe that Daniel would be doing a better job than Payrez currently, I also don't know if he would be able to wring performance out of it to the same degree that Max has been able to. He would be under mountains of pressure to perform immediately, and I can easily see him being blamed en masse by fans if Red Bull were still to lose the constructors.

I won't lie, a small part of me still worries that if there's absolutely zero improvement post-summer break that Red Bull won't suddenly go 'oh shit we have to do something now' and put Daniel in the car after Singapore - which would make the pressure/situation even more challenging. Honestly though in that scenario my biggest concern would be his safety and security at COTA and in particular Mexico - some of the absolute fanatical lunacy I have seen online by Mexican journalists/commentators and the amount of hate it has stirred up is quite honestly bonkers, so I really hope for Daniel's sake he's not parachuted in post-Singapore.

Also to be honest I'm quite excited to see Daniel's continued progression at Vcarb. I've been really impressed by how he and his engineers have knuckled down and found solutions to issues he was having and they have really made some pretty huge steps since his early season struggles. I think he clearly gets on well with Pierre and they've found their groove, and it'd be nice to see Daniel get a full season with Vcarb to continue that trend and really prove to people he deserves that Red Bull seat. I also think the next big lot of Vcarb upgrades are likely to be quite impactful, especially since they seem to have understood why the last upgrades didn't work out.

So while I do find the Red Bull/Payrez situation infuriating, it's definitely not all doom and gloom. I think there's still a huge amount of positive momentum going Daniel's way, he just needs to continue to put in those solid performances we saw from him before the summer break!! ✨🫶🏻🙏🏻👏🏻

[cuddlecow]

Please, consider Franco noticing a reader who is like a mama duck with baby reagents 🙏🏻 She takes it slow with them and instructs them on what to do. Reader even praises them when they get something done and covers up for them in times of need! Thank you!

Aww, that's a really precious idea! I swear I'm gonna cook on this one! I had a lot of fun with this one so I made it into a little oneshot!

Franco Barbi Noticing A Guiding Reader

You were in a quad group, being paired up with 3 other reagents. Every time you saw the state of the other reagents before the trial, you took pity on them.

It turns out that the reagents you were paired up with were relatively new and inexperienced. This would be a bit challenging as you usually did trials solo or with similarly skilled reagents. So after a rocky shuttle ride, the trial began, forcing everyone to get a move on.

You were at the docks, also known as Franco Barbi's territory. You exited the revolving pods and stepped out, waiting until your team came through. You instinctively took the lead, motioning for the others to crouch and move forward.

After watching Franco's introduction in the trial, the other 3 reagents were shell-shocked. You sympathetically gazed at them before softly speaking out. "Hey you guys, everything is gonna be alright. Follow me and we can get through this together!" They nervously followed you to the room with the drug cooker, hoping that you'd keep your word.

You got your rig prepared along with some bricks you picked up along the way. You asked if any one of the others would like to pull the lever, to which one of them slowly pulled it down. You encouraged them, giving them a smile. "We're gonna be getting the drug parcels into the cooker. We can form an assembly line to get in done quickly!"

As you progressed through the trial with your newfound ducklings, you'd give them little tips and tricks. Little did you know, as you were leading the group around the train depot, a certain somebody was starstruck, watching you from above. Franco was sitting down, dangling his legs off the co-op long jump ledge, making goo-goo eyes at you.

So, what did Franco do? He stole some poor deceased reagents' clothes and played dress up. Sliding into the back of the line, he turned each of the other reagents around and scared them off with his Lupara. Once you stopped and turned around, you noticed there was only one "reagent" following.

You were completely oblivious to the whole thing as Franco had gone behind the scenes and got the original trio to follow you again. The little princely manbaby was extremely pleased with his shenanigans and definitely made plans to do it again when you came around once more..

[dnpbeats]

emma i need to confess something any theory about dnp fucking other people pisses me off

anon i'm gonna put about twenty disclaimers on this bc i'm not trying to start discourse but i must say i agree 😭😭 TO BE CLEAR at the end of the day we don't know the ins and outs of d&p's relationship, and we never will. as dan said in BIG ppl want to know who he's fucking when he's fucking them and how long he's fucking them but that is not our business to know!! so i acknowledge that my thoughts on this are my thoughts and they come from a place of personal bias and projection! so if u disagree that’s okay!! okay anyway:

yeah lmao i get that i honestly don't think that they are in an open relationship for a variety of reasons. like logistically speaking it'd be difficult (espc before they were out) and we at least know phil doesn't like one night stands, so it's not like they're perusing grindr every day looking for someone to hook up with. but also like all the swinging jokes are what make me be like yeah they aren't doing that bc if they were i don't think they'd joke about it sm bc i think it would hit too close to home 💀😭 also, i think people read too much into some of dan's comments during WAD. like i get it, yes he likes making horny jokes, but i dont think it's that deep. like even if he wasn't with phil/was in an open relationship, he wasnt being serious when he said cute mutuals slide into my DMs yk 😭 he's always made jokes about being thirsty it's nothing new. also he himself said that all his thirst posting were jokes*! and other reasons too like how jealous dan gets 💀💀

but i also think people have only one interpretation of what he says sometimes, for example him saying things like this: "This is my hot boy autumn right now and I am very much enjoying, for the first time in my life, being free and out and in the world, being able to actually talk about things, being honest, being able to go out and have fun." which, if you want to interpret that as dan saying he's getting dicked down every night of tour, that's your prerogative! but i do not think that "being free and out in the world" has to be about sex, like there are so many layers to that! i just take it to mean like being able to live authentically and exist as a gay man in public yk?

ive said this a couple times in tags on other posts, but i think that sometimes (not all the time!!) the reason why ppl come up with open relation theories is because it's already a given that d&p are together. like in 2015 you could theorize "are they gay are they in a relationship" because it wasn't explicitly stated by them. but now that they're explicitly gay, and anyone reading between the lines can see that they're together, you can't really "speculate" on phan. so, the next progression is to speculate on the exact nature of their relationship: is it open, are they in a qpr, etc. so anyway yeah that's my two cents 😭 if someone thinks they're in an open relationship that's fine pls don't come for me 😭😭

*I CANT FIND THE SOURCE FOR THIS but i know he said it bc i've referenced it before, when i eventually find it i'll put the link 🙏🏻🙏🏻

[softxsuki]

Hiiii! :3

It's for the 'urgent' request, so, Diavolo (Obey me), Itadori (jjk) and Sinichiro (TR) with a gn!reader who has been sober for a year please! 🙏🏻

Some headcanons of the characters and support to the whole thing and being a year sober!

Congrats to @l1ttleclouds for almost being a year sober, so proud of them (ToT)

Thank youuu! You're an angel and I hope you're okay! ^-^

Diavolo, Itadori, and Shinichiro (Separate) Support Reader Who's One Year Sober

Pairings: Diavolo x Gn!Reader (MC), Itadori x Gn!Reader, Shinichiro x Gn!Reader

Warnings: mentions of smoking, sobriety

Genre: Comfort?

Post-Type: Headcanons

Word Count: 690

Summary: In which they support you after being a year sober

[A/N: This was requested for @l1ttleclouds congrats <3 I hope this is enjoyable for you. I was running out of ideas, hence why they're a little short, but I tried my best! ]

Diavolo:

Diavolo was your biggest support system

He had the power and resources to get you the help you needed and it was all worth it

A year sober was just a start but he was ready to stay by your side and continue that streak, making one year into two, and two into three, and so on

He celebrates all your milestones very grandly, of course with just the two of you, there was no reason to tell the whole of the Devildom, unless you were okay with it

Because lowkey he would like to host a grand celebration with everyone to congratulate you in your hard work and progress of staying sober

He admires you greatly so this proof of your strength makes him undeniably proud of you

“I’m so proud of how far you have made it this year staying sober. Sobriety is a difficult journey and I saw how hard it was for you at first, but it’s already been a year and I’m confident you’ll make it even farther. You have me forever and always, please know that I’ll always be here to support you. I love you with all my heart”

The only thing he encourages and always reminds you to do, is stay transparent and honest with him if things start getting hard, or about any concerns, triggers, or urges along the way that you may have

He wants to be able to come up with the best plan with you to support your journey of sobriety, so please stay open and truthful with him, he values that greatly

Itadori:

Yuuji is passionate about the people he loves

So you already know he was by your side every step of the way through your sobriety journey

And being one year sober is just a huge celebratory moment for him

He never once thought you couldn’t do it, in fact, the whole time he cheered you on

Yuuji was your shoulder to lean on, on the days when it was hard, never once did his smile or support waver–he was always there and would always be there

He’s cautious around you and makes sure others are as well, not wanting to accidentally trigger you and cause those past urges to come back

“I’m so happy that you’ve made it this far, and I can’t wait to be by your side through the rest of your journey through sobriety. You know, you inspire me to work harder and be better as well. I want to be someone who can shine brightly beside you and lift you up”

Truly as supportive as they come, he’s just full of love to give to you no matter what you’re going through

Shinichiro:

Ahh this beautiful man is so precious to you

He even gives himself the goal to quit something, so he stops smoking as well, wanting to make a commitment along with you so you weren’t struggling alone

And also because he felt like it might make you feel worse if he was openly doing things like that around you when you were trying to quit

He’s extremely protective of you and gets upset if anyone talks or does anything that might make your urges come back during your journey of sobriety

When you finally hit that one year milestone, he’s beyond elated

Seeing you full of life, away from the things that once held you down is beautiful to him and he couldn’t be prouder of you

Probably takes you out to celebrate to your favorite place, on his bike of course

“You’re even stronger than I am. I’m proud of you, Y/N.” He picks up his glass filled with soda and raises it in your direction, “Here’s to one more year, let's keep it up”

Words would never really be able to express how impressed and proud he is of you and this huge accomplishment

He wants nothing more than for you to be happy with yourself, and seeing you walk the road towards that is more than he could ask for

You have his undeniable love and support for years to come

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 10/19/2023

[vimara00]

How a relationship with Shoto Todoroki would develop by Vi ✨

Hi everyone, It's Vi! ✨ Today I was thinking about how would a relationship with Shoto be like so I wrote this. Hope u enjoy! ☺️ (Again, I'm sorry if there are any grammatical mistakes, english is not my first language 🙏🏻)

Warnings: none, just fluff

All character reservations to Horikoshi

Strangers to friends

• When you both entered the U.A, Shoto wasn't interested in making friends as his mission was to supperpass Endeavour. He didn't have time for things as trivial as establishing relationships and he made it known to everyone around him. However, everything changed when he scored a low grade at the spanish exam. He actually thought he could manage that class easily without help but it didn't seem like it and that really damage his self-esteem. Aizawa already knew Shoto would've a negative reaction so he suggested to asked his classmates for help and let's just say, the idea didn't thrilled him. Everybody was asking Yaoyoruzu, Bakugou or Deku for help but he was too proud to asked them. He would figured out something by himself.

• Shoto spent the whole week reading Spanish books but he just couldn't grasped the concept. Also, his irritation grew more as his classmates were progressing faster that him (thanks to the tutoring lessons they were given)

One afternoon in particular, Shoto was in the library working on some exercises when one girl from his class appeared. She grabbed a book and sat down near him. As much as he would like to say he couldn't care less about her, he definitely knew who she was. Her name was y/n, she had an air manipulation quirk and a very distracting face. And by "distracting", he meant "the prettiest face he's ever seen" and what bother him so much it's that, more often than not, he would give quick glaces her way during class and completely forget what he was doing.

Shoto has never been able to make friends as his father always put training above more mundane things so he had cero social skills. So this "attraction" he felt towards her was also something he had never experienced before and even he wanted to get closer to her, he just didn't know how so instead, he did his best to ignore her. However, it was kind of difficult as she definitely was the nicest person he's ever meet.

• y/n saw he was struggling with some spanish exercises and offered to help as it was her first language so it was easy for her and eventhough he declined her offer many times, she helped him anyway. It was actually the best decision she could ever make as not only he got on of the highest scores in class but also, Shoto finally let her get closer to him even if he still had this "unapproachable actitud". And that's how their friendship started and honestly, everybody was shocked that the 1A's rain of sunshine was friends with Todoroki.

• At first it was only saying hi to each other, sitting together at lunch and training together. However, over time, Shoto warmed up to her (and also to others) so they hung out at y/n's bedroom where they watched movies and also had this tradition where they would go to different restaurants or cafe every month.

• After the Sports festival, Endeavour offered y/n to do a internship at his agency along with his son but, for Shoto's relief, she said no as she went to pro hero Hawks agency. Eventhough he would've liked to spent more time with her, he wanted to keep his father away from y/n and her quirk. He felt the need to protected her but little did he know that wasn't just him being connected with but something else; something more deeper and he was about to find out...

Friends to lovers

• Fuyumi invited Shoto's friends, Izuku and Bakugou, to have dinner at their house but Endeavour and her were not expecting someone else to appeared after they all were at the table. Shoto had sent a last minute message to invite y/n but didn't want to tell his sister beforehand as she would've pushed the topic and, honestly, he wasn't ready to rationalized those feelings. Because lately, he's been feeling this kind of excitement every time he caught a glimpse of her, smiling a lot more when she was around and his breath was taken away when she would put her head on his shoulder or held his hand. He could be dense sometimes but he wasn't an idiot, deep down he knew this meant something else but was too coward to act on it. Everybody was shocked to see the young lady as Shoto was someone who kept his private life for himself. Izuku, Bakugou, y/n and him survived the tense situation and where about to head home but not before Fuyumi did an interrogation to Shoto about this new friend of his. Her sixth sense told her little brother was in fact, in love with the e/c girl. It was just too obvious! his sister noticed how his normally "irritated face" (because of Endeavour) light up when y/n arrived or how he was always attentive and paying attention to what she did or what she was saying. Also, when she asked y/n if she was Shoto's girlfriend he did not denied but blushed instead. So she really hoped his brother could be happy with her and treat her right

(Of course Fuyumi gave y/n her number for exchanging recipes and update her about his little brother)

•One particularly day, during training, Izuku and y/n were sparing together, something very unusual as she always trained with Todoroki. At first, he thought that maybe she just wanted to try fighting with other quirks (eventhough theirs work perfectly together) so he kept going with his day as usual. However, when she sat next to Midoriya at lunch and were having a very animated conversation, he started to feel a bit irritated but didn't say anything. That night, he had been so busy that he ended up showering really late. As he was walking to his room, he saw y/n coming out of Midoriya's bedroom and when she realised he just caught her, her eyes widened and she nervously said goodbye to him and left in a hurry. Oh, Shoto saw red! If it wasn't for the fact that Deku had closed his door quickly, he would definitely be freezed by now. He didn't like this feeling of pure range but he couldn't help it. Since when they got along so well? What was so fascinating about Midoriya that everybody fell to his feets? Gosh he prayed she didn't like his friend like that cause he didn't know what he would do. All this interaction lighted up an alarmed that remainded him that she won't wait forever, that he needed to confess before he lost her to someone else

• Shoto couldn't sleep that night, planning his confession and imagining possible scenarios and reactions to it. He didn't know if she felt something more than a friendship and honestly, he was scared shirtless cause he didn't want to lose their great friendship, he wouldn't known what to do with himself if y/n rejected him. He couldn't go back to how his life was before her appeared in it and made it worth living beyond a revenge. And, eventhough he was terrified of her response, it was better than to keep those feelings bottled. So the next morning he left a letter on her desk saying he needed to talked to her and that they should met at the school's terrace.

• Once she stood in front of him, he didn't let her ask any questions and just went straight to the point (as he always did) "Look y/n, the reason I called you here today was because something's been bothering me for a while. You and my feelings for you. Since we first spoke, I thought you were too good to be actually true and when you became my friend, I felt blessed to have someone I can trust and who doesn't judge me. Someone who taught me that it's ok to cry sometimes and that my feelings are valuable. I even started to opened up more to others. And all thanks to you! I'm not gonna lie, when I saw you with Midoriya yesterday, my heart hurt cause the thought of being so close to you yet losing you, was just too much. I know I'm being selfish. You deserve someone who has no trouble expressing their emotions or someone who isn't carrying childhood scars that haven't healed yet (emotionally speaking) Maybe you should be with someone as nice as Midoriya" he paused and continued "but what I'm trying to say is that, if you ever feel anything for me that makes you appreciate the good things above all the bad things I have, I swear to love you with my heart and soul. Take it both of them, it's full of you. Take all of me y/n, I'm already yours anyway... It's ok if you don't reciprocate, I mean you don't -" And Shoto was definitely not expecting for her to kiss him but he won't complain. The kiss was a bit clownsly as they were inexperienced but it was beautiful because they loved each other and they would've time to learn. From that day, Shoto kept his promise to loved her and protect her and he felt in love with her every day all over again.

[justwinginglife]

Dropping by!!

HELLO DEAR! I'm so sorry I barely talked or showed up to ur notifs pls forgive me. 🥹🙏🏻 I do hope you're doing well nowadays? Are you doing well? How is everything and work?

AND I have sinned. I could never forgive myself with this because FORGOTTEN SŌSHIRŌ'S BIRTHDAY!?!?!?? KSSKKSKSK I WAS GENUINELY TWEAKING. 😭😭😭 I'm a sore loser who just realized it at 12 in the freaking morning of November 22. PAST BIRTHDAY AND I'M SO DISAPPOINTED OF MYSELF. 🙁🙁

TS song for today: Cruel Summer

"No rules in breakable heaven" Like hey. There's no rules when it comes to love in JAKDF, right? But a protocol for others because they saw or heard the tragedy of their General Shinomiya's love life. So like they thought ehhh it'll might hinder their work and stuff. That's what Sōshirō thinks or also you as well. "Duty first" person you two are. But you can't ignore the spark or connection you both have in that one Summer Night where you both simply basked at each other's presence and share half parts of our life and so was he. It feels a little too good where everything feels... Too perfect for both of you to talk casually when things progressed. Or even sending subtle actions that could interpreted intimately or just shows how close you two. It made both of you think or mainly Sōshirō, what are we?

"You say that we'll just screw it up in these trying times, we're not trying." Even there's no rules implied about relationships, situation goes out of hand. There will be some moments that both of you play this cat and mouse chase IN the battlefield and little did you both know, it played both of you hard. Sōshirō keeps emphasizing to others or even to you to not get too close to your subordinates but he got frustrated of himself in the inside that he can't convince himself. He feel so desperate to continue looking forward and see where this relationship leads.

"I'm always waiting for you just to cut to the bone", "He looks up, grinnin' like a devil" So if you gave up onto this chase and decide to acknowledge your feelings for him, he himself gave up first. You didn't know that yet. You thought nothing changed because either you can't see it yourself or Sōshirō is a devil in disguise where he hides his heart in his sleeves. Or both? He love to tease anyway and you can't help but to long for him even more. When you confessed, that little gremlin showed his toothy grin and simply says, "I know."

The Summer is pretty cruel but swear to not be like Achilles and Patroclus (i'm jinxing that the next time I send you another ask...USHSHJSBD). Despite the agonizing desire for one another, the wait at the end is all worth it where you two took your time to understand your feelings.

It's pretty short but yes I will make it up to you! I really miss you and hope you liked this one. Please don't forget to take care of yourself! :,))) ❤️❤️

—Rhea

OMG HI BESTIE, MISSED YOU! You're totally fine for being late cuz I was so late responding to you lol whoops, my bad! Working on this December fic event rn. Also OMG thanks for the song analysis! Love Cruel Summer, it's like def one of my fav T-Swift Songs. I love when you send me Soshiro related T-Swift songs lol, can't wait for the next one! And THANK YOU so much for always checking in on me to make sure I'm taking care of myself. I'm a lil tired from banging out all these fics for December release, but I'm still DOING WELL.

[ruminate88]

This year hasn’t been easy but don’t think and stress about all the goals you didn’t hit 🙏🏻 but look at the progress you’ve made!

Woooooo so, last fall/Christmas I fell off a ladder putting up Christmas lights and had deep bruises on my legs which actually mirrored back to me that I had deep emotional wounds 🥺🫶🏻 wow…. So I started this “healing journey” and needless to say, I’ve been slowly unraveling the past and the tangled AND unresolved feelings ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Also a tragedy happened with my in-laws back in Jan. It was a traumatic event and put everyone in a grief state. I was already feeling sad over my past as I was learning about emotional abuse and realizing who I believe my exes were and WHY I am the way I am since being betrayed by them. I eventually learned about betrayal trauma and was making sense of it all.

I did feel I was getting into a trauma bond with my mom in law as what happened to the family was cruel and heartbreaking. My mom in law was leaning on me cuz I understand the situation the most now that I am self aware of myself and my past. We did so much talking but a lot of it was sad 😓❤️‍🩹 So that brought me low for sure…. Eventually I tried NOT to talk about it so much with her cuz it only brings us down.

at some point I felt my whole life was trauma on trauma on trauma….. why was I experiencing SO MUCH TRAUMA?? I still don’t have the answer to that but I have learned a GREAT DEAL and I’ve had to seriously challenge thoughts and beliefs about myself. I’ve had so much grief and even more numbness but eventually in the last month or so, I’ve been able to cry again ❤️‍🩹👍🏻

CRYING IS HEALTHY 🙏🏻👍🏻 Not just crying but SCREAMING and even kicking. It’s NOT dramatic or crazy. It’s truly releasing the trauma. I watched my mom in law full on lay on her bed face down and kick so hard and cry out cuz of the pain that was inflicted in January 🥺😳 So… I would say this year was eventful both sad and tragic but good too! I’ve had my eyes opened a lot this year!! I feel I’ve done good considering it all 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Idk what all the trauma is bringing or teaching me but I’m still learning and transforming daily!!! IT’S NOT OVER ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 I feel my mom in law and I did break out of the trauma bond recently cuz it wasn’t meant to last. I feel she’s accepted the situation and gotten SOME peace over it 🙏🏻 Idk what’s coming next but I’m open to whatever is meant to happen next!

Also, this past year I’ve been daily working to forgive my exes ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 even believing they’re probably not sorry or think they did anything wrong but I don’t have any proof so can’t judge them but forgive them in my heart!

[a-s-levynn]

your art is sincerely so gorgeous. feels like being wrapped up in a hug, what with those delicate lines and the way you use the white pencil. looking forward to your offerings challenge (but please don't stress yourself out.) thanks for sharing your talents, too, with everyone; we're so lucky. <3

I was looking at this for hours now. This means so much, especially considering how many actually talented people are in the fandom around me, while i'm just here, doing whatever. For the record, i never been talented by any means, i just drew a lot, and practice makes progress.

But then i stopped. In 2016. That was 7 years ago. It's funny how the artist that made me want to pick up a pencil again is the one that started the same year i stopped creating. An artist i was aware of from almost it's beginnings but took me well over 5 years to actually come around to, understand and enjoy it.

And don't worry, there is a reason i'm opting for small pieces that can be done quick. I don't want to put pressure on myself, just enjoy the act of creation. If a day's piece is 3 janky lines? Than it's gonna be three janky ass lines, but it's something i made. I'm in it for the long game and you all gonna be sick of my scribbles by week two.

And look, if just one person likes my silly little offerings than i'm more than happy. It means, -even if just a little bit- i was able to give back to the fandom that genuinly made these last few months so much more bearable.

I cannot express the gratitude i have for you all in a simple thank you. I love you guys. 🙏🏻

[patience-hope-strength-courage]

What Caused My Mental Health To Decline So Much In 2021? - 06/03/2023

From the pandemic and anxiety

Being a new mum when the pandemic first started and feeling so scared and lonely

Unbearable Guilt following a situation with a friend

Build up of some things from the passed I hadn’t addressed or worked through

Suppressing my feelings

Pretending I was okay for so long

Feeling ashamed of who I was

After 3 lockdowns struggling to get back to living life

Fear of Covid

Social Anxiety

Low Self Esteem

Not looking after myself properly

Depression?

Relapse with Self Harm after 6 years

Fear of the future

Spending too much time thinking about the past

Feeling distant from people

Looking back there were many factors (some I’ve missed) that caused me to become so ill back in 2021 and some had built up over a long time. I definitely couldn’t see how much I was struggling at the time but looking back now it’s very clear. I am just so grateful for the progress I have made since then and how much I am able to enjoy life again.

There is always hope. 🙏🏻

[rainbowywitch]

My name is Tarneem Sami, and I live in the Shuja'iyya neighborhood of Gaza City 🇵🇸🇵🇸🍉with my three children. My husband, Ahmed, was killed while trying to get supplies for us. We have fled from place to place, living in constant fear amid severe shortages of food and medicine, hoping only to survive this brutal war.

‎‏Please help me. Please help me to save my children from hunger and diseases. We are suffering a lot 😭🙏🏻🍉😭

https://www.gofundme.com/f/a-cry-from-gaza-a-mothers-plea-for-her-childrens-survival?attribution_id=sl:6a5086ee-18c7-4464-b69b-fab802b1e9b9&lang=en_US&utm_campaign=fp_sharesheet&utm_medium=customer&utm_source=copy_link

https://gofund.me/0190de90

My name is Tarneem Sami, I am 35 years old, and I live in the Shuja'iyya neighborhood of Gaza City. I have three children: Layan, Jana, and Ayman. My husband, Ahmed Salama, was killed after we fled to central Gaza. He went to get some supplies for us, but a building was struck, and shrapnel hit his head and abdomen, causing his immediate death. After that, we moved to Rafah and lived in a tent with extremely scarce food, often baking on open fire. Due to our dire financial situation, my daughter had to work for a man selling goods at a stall. My children constantly cry for their father, and I console them by saying he awaits them in heaven. Later, we learned that our house had been completely destroyed. With the invasion of Rafah, we had to flee again to Al-Mawasi in Khan Yunis. Death follows us wherever we go, and we don't know when this brutal war will end. I want to try to leave Gaza with my children because of the ongoing war. The situation here is unbearable, and we are living in constant fear for our lives. The bombings and violence have made it impossible to stay. We desperately need to find safety and security away from the horrors of this conflict. The situation in Gaza is beyond description, with families suffering from severe shortages of food, water, and fuel. Children are facing acute malnutrition, and the healthcare situation is catastrophic due to the destruction of hospitals and a lack of essential medicines. The ongoing war has rendered Gaza uninhabitable, with most of its population repeatedly displaced in a desperate search for safety. Over 80% of the population relies on humanitarian aid, which has become scarce due to continuous barriers to its entry into the territory. I hope you can help us in any way possible. We are in dire need of any assistance to survive and alleviate the daily suffering we endure. As we progress, please be aware that cousin of my mom , Sami Bakroon, will kindly take charge of managing the funds. He will initiate the evacuation process using the resources we have gathered. We are grateful for your understanding and ongoing support in this endeavor. Sami, being in Germany, can receive money because GoFundMe only supports bank transfers to 19 countries, including Germany.

[srbachchan]

DAY 5216

 Jalsa, Mumbai              May 25/26,  2022               Wed/Thu  12:55 AM   

❤️ May 26 .. birthday .. Ef Rasika Pawar Shashikant from UAE .. and .. Ef Jaspreet Singh .. greetings on your special day .. and the goodness of happiness and blessings .. love .. and Sat Sri Akaal .. 🙏🏻🌿       

the new Mac Book pro laptop that was bought with great expectation and promise has proved to be a disaster for me .. so I have with great pride gone back to my previous Mac Book Pro .. 

Long may the life of Apple be .. and may the half eaten morsel that adorns the brand be filled with the earnest adage of 

‘an apple a day keeps the doctor away’  .. for, each hour and day the experts and the technicians that design and produce the product work meticulously to make sure the brand keeps its lead in the convenience of those that contribute to it .. 

And now we hear that another newer version be launched in July or was it August .. and may the God’s at the silicon be in the best of health to give its followers .. their multitudinous Ef’s , the ability to love and appreciate this fresh out burst out of the oven product  ...

so to divert .. nothing like a picture .. 

.. its the prep rehearsals for the new KBC .. and the ’mocks’ as they are called be in progress on its first day, on the sets of the Marathi KBC .. next door ..

and the changes be discussed and exercised and practised and introduced to us all .. by the dedicated set of the team that has remained with me for almost 22 years of the existence of this small screen endeavour ..

some languid , lazy , unkempt and wonder looked air of ‘what the heck’ .. but eventually all settled and in order .. 

the growth though is for the coming up shoot for another small appearance in a film that is being made simultaneously with the one in Rishikesh .. 

at times it becomes imperative to give in to the good that abounds about .. than the evil that lurks within .. may it never show its ugly face again .. 

discord can be discussed .. it can become cordless if the discuss is made irrelevant .. not by your choice but by the doing of the other ..

कहने की सीमा होती है , सहने की सीमा होती है  ;

कुछ मेरे भी वश में , कुछ सोच समझ अपमान करो मेरा  !  

and no there is no great pending or active insult that has been initiated towards .. just at times there are and is the need to speak it out ..

naaah .. that sound terrible .. no the speak it out is wrong .. spoken would deviate from the reason .. and the reason shall ever appear , whenever and wherever .. there is no need to extenuate it ..

hence ..

good bye 

Amitabh Bachchan