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billconrad · 6 months ago

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My Computer Is a Dear Friend

My leap into computing began around 1977 with a PET in a “learning” classroom. Umm. Aren’t all classrooms for learning? Anyway. What a piece of junk. It was nearly impossible to do anything with it. User friendly? Yeah, that would not happen until the 90s. As technology evolved, computers became a more significant part of our lives. Then, a miracle. The Internet.

I now use my computer to talk to friends, pay bills, write, draw, share pictures, read, watch endless videos, shop, sell, learn, explore, and get news. At work, I use a computer to simulate circuits, organize data, communicate, store files, and develop endless reports.

My writing journey took its very first step on a computer. It is my sentence file cabinet, primary research tool, communications hub, and marketing powerhouse. The idea of writing a book on a typewriter is now inconceivable. (Well, inconceivable is too strong of a word. My father published three ceramics textbooks with a typewriter. Hardcore!)

While writing, my computer quietly accepted all my input without judgment and printed every letter perfectly. While there were minor issues, it never let me down. Thank you, computer.

I updated the bios four weeks ago to fix a major security flaw. After the update, it worked for twenty minutes and then blue-screened. Disaster! A reboot did not resolve the issue. Damn! So, I downgraded the bios, but the damage had been done. The update corrupted the operating system, and I could not restore it despite every effort.

Fortunately, I could back up my files. Yay! Because I needed to reinstall Windows completely, I purchased a better RAID hard drive controller card. Unfortunately, it took two weeks for the card to arrive, four days to install Windows because I had to purchase a new license (even though my old license was valid) (yes, I spent hours on the phone trying to explain this), and a day to configure all the programs. I was back up and running. Yay! Yet… There was something odd. The new RAID card ran hot. Oh well, it worked.

During this outage, I could not quickly contact my online friends, entertain myself, do complex research, or write. Losing my computer depressed me, and I needed to take several walks to ease my suffering. I was genuinely depressed about an inanimate object.

When I had restored my computer to operational status, I settled back into my grove, which made me reflect on how big a part of life my computer was. I spend at least eight hours a day using it and take great care to keep it updated. I also respect my machine by not surfing to questionable places, downloading things I should not, or tweaking settings that might harm the system, which means I treat it with care and respect.

It felt so good to be reunited. And it is true. Even though my computer is only a collection of circuits, it is a dear friend. A companion more loyal than a dog, more mysterious than a cat, and certainly more exciting than a pet bunny. It invigorated my writing, and my creative side leaped into new chapters.

Disaster struck a week later. When I turned on my computer, the POST configuration screen greeted me. My new RAID controller had failed, and I could not recover a week’s worth of data. After experimenting with the old card, I discovered that the motherboard (bent pins) was damaged, which caused the overheating.

The worst part about this issue is that I caused the problem by installing the new controller incorrectly and ignoring how hot it ran. I felt as if I had betrayed a friend. How can I tell an inanimate object, “I’m sorry. I only tried to help.” My only option was to break out my checkbook and buy replacement components. I suppose in the cosmic sense, I apologized to a box of circuits.

How did I manage to survive with a broken computer? A few years ago, a friend gave me his old computer because he had upgraded to a newer one, and I used it as a “test computer.” This meant I tested new programs before installing them on my “main computer” and ran programs that took forever. Yes, it was slow, had restrictive security settings, and an old version of Microsoft Word. Still, I could limp along.

Last night, I tore my main computer down and installed a new motherboard and a new RAID controller. To my great relief, the car ran normally. Yay! When the Windows logo appeared, I felt a wave of relief that nearly caused me to break out in tears.

I spent the rest of the evening restoring files and catching up on emails. This moment felt like my cherished family member had returned from the hospital in good health.

Life has returned to normal, but there was one issue. The Windows license was incorrect (even though I purchased a new serial number a week before). I spent three hours with Microsoft tech support, getting the error messages to disappear. Gahhh. Why is it so hard? I’m not a computer pirate. Stop accusing me of being one.

I now realize that my main computer is a large part of my life. I am lucky to be alive in this modern age where I may own such a marvelous machine. Thank you, computer, for all your years of service. Hopefully, you will patiently accept my flawed input for the next ten years.

You’re the best -Bill

July 27, 2024

Hey book lovers, I published four. Please check them out:

Interviewing Immortality. A dramatic first-person psychological thriller that weaves a tale of intrigue, suspense, and self-confrontation.

Pushed to the Edge of Survival. A drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.

Cable Ties. A slow-burn political thriller that reflects the realities of modern intelligence, law enforcement, department cooperation, and international politics.

Saving Immortality. Continuing in the first-person psychological thriller genre, James Kimble searches for his former captor to answer his life’s questions.

These books are available in soft-cover on Amazon and eBook format everywhere.

#computers #friends #writing

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ryttu3k · 2 years ago

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The 2022 playlist, favourite albums, and thoughts on Pink Floyd!

Emerson, Lake & Palmer - Fanfare for the Common Man

Hot Chocolate - Every 1's a Winner

The Whitlams - Cambridge Three

The Whitlams - Man About A Dog

The Whitlams - Sancho In Love

Florence + the Machine - King

Florence + the Machine - My Love

Florence + the Machine - Daffodil

Zdob și Zdub and Frații Advahov - Trenulețul

Sweet - Ballroom Blitz

Pink Floyd - Echoes

Electric Light Orchestra - Eldorado Overture & Can't Get It Out Of My Head

Pink Floyd - Shine On You Crazy Diamond

Pink Floyd - Sheep

Queen - Face It Alone

Pink Floyd - Comfortably Numb

Måneskin - La Fine

Favourite album releases: The Whitlams - Sancho; Florence + the Machine - Dance Fever

Favourite old albums: Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here; Animals

...Godspeed You! Black Emperor did have a 'new' album release when their very first album came out. It, um, was not good, haha. Another new release, single this time, Face It Alone by Queen, which was recorded for The Miracle but never released at the time. Gives me definite emotions. For Måneskin, three singles, Supermodel, The Loneliest, and La Fine. Supermodel is a bop, The Loneliest is absolute angst, but none hit me like La Fine did. New album out in a month!

But really, this year has belonged to Pink Floyd, much how last year belonged to Måneskin (as a new favourite), and GY!BE and Queen (listening to their whole discography). More similar to GY!BE, in that I heard both Lift Your Skinny Fists and Dark Side Of The Moon at roughly the same time and they both instantly rocketed to the top of my 'favourite albums of all time' list.

Here are some thoughts!

Rating all the albums, and notable favourites/now in my regular rotation:

The Dark Side of the Moon: 9.5/10 (all of it it's flawless. But if I have to pick, Brain Damage/Eclipse, Us & Them, Time, The Great Gig in the Sky, and Breathe (In The Air). Yes I realise that’s more than half the album)

Wish You Were Here: 9/10 (Shine On You Crazy Diamond, Welcome To The Machine)

Animals: 9/10 (Sheep, Dogs)

Meddle: 8.5/10 (Echoes, One Of These Days)

The Wall: 8.5/10 (Comfortably Numb, Hey You)

The Endless River: 8.5/10 (all of it as a unit tbh)

A Momentary Lapse of Reason: 8.5/10 (Signs of Life, Sorrow, Yet Another Movie)

The Division Bell: 8.5/10 (Cluster One, High Hopes)

Ummagumma (live section): 8.5/10

A Saucerful of Secrets: 8/10 (Let There Be More Light)

Obscured By Clouds: 7.5/10 (Obscured By Clouds)

The Final Cut: 7.5/10

The Piper At The Gates Of Dawn: 7/10

More: 7/10 (Cymbaline)

Atom Heart Mother: 6.5/10

Ummagumma (studio section): 5.5/10

Top five tracks in approximate order: Shine On You Crazy Diamond, all of Dark Side of the Moon, Comfortably Numb, Echoes, Sheep.

(Also watched the Pulse concert, no thoughts only brain keyboardsmash, and listened to the orchestrated Us & Them tribute thing. Next on the list is Delicate Sound of Thunder, Waters’ The Wall, and the Echoes album.)

So like. As a general rule, not quite as high ratings as something like GY!BE, which I all rated super high (although in fairness, Pink Floyd has a lot more albums). It also feels kind of odd rating, say, The Wall 9/10, but I only regularly listen to Comfortably Numb (and The Wall part 2, which is the only track I had heard prior to listening). I guess because the whole thing works as a singular unit? I'm not sure, honestly.

Definitely most attached to the 70s era, almost straight through (starting from Meddle in 1971, Atom Heart Mother didn't super grab me). Which makes sense! The first album, the one that got me into them, was Dark Side of the Moon, so it was that classic 70s prog rock sound I was most drawn to. The earlier stuff is still... I guess developing towards that? I was listening chronologically, and Echoes, from Meddle, was the first time I really went, "...oh yeah, that is absolutely the Pink Floyd of DSotM."

I did really enjoy Division Bell, although there were definite 'this was made in the 90s' moments, and The Endless River tends to get panned but I actually super enjoyed it. Kind of gave me a Songs of Distant Earth-era Mike Oldfield vibe (that's not an insult, I love Mike Oldfield). Actually, yeah, the later Gilmour-led stuff did hit the spot, more than the earlier content and Final Cut did.

Been a rad experience, and they're absolutely getting added to 'favourite band' status (along with GY!BE, Florence + the Machine, Queen, Måneskin, and the Whitlams. What is my music taste? We just don't know).

And now to listen to Wish You Were Here for the zillionth time because Shine On You Crazy Diamond owns my entire soul <3

#music #pink floyd #year in review

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minalous · 4 years ago

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fallen candy | 1

⇁ yoongi x female reader x taehyung ft Jimin x female reader

⇁ romance,humour,angst,smut || supernatural!au

⇁ yoongi!angel, taehyung!angel, reader!hybrid, mentions of death, oral (female receiving), fingering, loss of virginity, love triangle, future poly

The gates of the underworld are now open, unleashing evil and death on earth. Namjoon cannot stand to see his beloved humans suffering so he asks his most trusted friend Yoongi to help him save them. With the help of Taehyung, Yoongi is searching for the hybrid that will help them save humanity. They are searching for you.

⇁5.1k

...

Eras come and go, thousands of years full of knowledge and history are intertwined with the humans on this earth, the world created for them. As humanity started growing into something magnificent, evil and hatred came to disturb it. The wondrous world of humans is about to cease to exist, no miracle would be able to recover the atrocities the demons had done over the past few years; Humans stopped believing in the old gods, in the new gods, in any gods for that matter. They gave up every power they were holding, they offered that power to monsters whose only desire was to destroy whichever privilege their gods openly offered them.

The true Gods gave them free will, courage, intelligence, a beautiful world to live in. And what did they do in return? They destroyed their world, they worshipped gold and silver, they fell on their knees and worshipped false gods which never existed. The true Gods wished nothing but happiness and love for their creation. Can they help them now? Yes they can. It is not too late.

Their headquarters are filled with smart beings, some not so smart but heavenly beautiful.

Yoongi, Taehyung, Jungkook and Namjoon are four of the Gods, half daemons, half angels. Daemons were creatures of wisdom, creatures equal to Gods so they were treated as such. Their angel blood gave them power which was much needed for the wonders they did upon the earth. Day and night they would guard humans from evil, keeping demons and monsters under their control. When humans began their secret worshipping of demons, when they started having evil thoughts and feelings which had to be restrained, they lost their connection to the heavenly creatures. Their free will was in their nature, nobody would take it away from them; but that was what led them to hell upon earth.

The gates of the underworld were now open, unleashing evil and death on earth. Namjoon could not see their creation dying, suffering until they would beg to be put out of their misery. They created them because they needed to love and be loved. He had to act and he had to act now.

Namjoon gathers his most trusted friends to ensure the immediate resolution of their biggest problem. He knows the only remedy to the situation is to create a new hybrid, a creature powerful enough to have their enemies tremble in fear. The hybrid would be their new leader, the leader they’re in need of and who will shed light on the darkness the demons have brought upon humanity.

The details about the recent events in the underworld and on earth have the Gods agree upon taking great measures to ensure an immediate expedition, to acknowledge the danger, the considerable pressure growing bigger. Namjoon further explains how humans are no longer free, their will is manipulated by the demons, vampires and other hideous monsters who are in need of puppets to do their deeds. And that is when Namjoon drops the bomb out of nowhere; the need to create a hybrid.

“You want us to do what?”

Yoongi has become so furious with their leader’s announcement, the weight of the task given to them is something more than what he has anticipated for.

“If you do not do it, Jungkook will. And you know what that means”

Namjoon’s voice is loud and clear, determination lacing his soothing tone. He is confident enough to entrust an important task to his best friend, a task that could ensure a win against the evil powers controlling humans. He would not want to have Jungkook handle a strategy in need of meticulous research, a plan to reveal weaknesses about their enemies. Jungkook may have the muscles but Yoongi has the brains. However weird it may seem, Taehyung is a better shot to the unknown than Jungkook on this occasion.

“Hey! I am a real asset to this team”

Jungkook pleads to be chosen for this mission, muttering under his breath he’s better than anyone else in this room.

“You are only off by two letters”

Jungkook stares at Yoongi’s direction, furrowing his brows in deep confusion due to the daze Yoongi’s words caused him.

“Stop speaking with fancy riddles, hyung” Jungkook says in an almost begging voice

"And you call me stupid"

Taehyung mocks Jungkook in a childish way, making both Yoongi and Namjoon hold their temples in an attempt to calm their frustration. They are in great need of cunning beings that can accomplish tasks in this time of need, but who knows what must be going on inside their brains.

"You make a good rival" Jungkook tells him proudly

"Stupidity is not something you should be proud to compete but between the two of you, I would not expect anything better"

Yoongi’s voice now mirrors Namjoon's feelings, his words confusing the two younger Gods even more but making Namjoon laugh.

"Please just accept the research. You cannot leave me with Jungkook as my last resort" Namjoon now pleads for Yoongi’s acceptance, pointing at Jungkook who is trying to fight off a small bug with his fists, throwing tiny punches in the air.

"Hey! I am right here guys" Jungkook says once more, scaring away the two older Gods

...

In the end, Yoongi ends up accepting Namjoon’s offer to become the leader of the research, a team working under his command who is seeking for clues about the existence of a hybrid. Taehyung is the one to seek answers hidden in the history of their ancestors, as Yoongi tries to discover new information about the demons on earth. Yoongi hasn’t seen humans from up close for a very long time, his eyes wandering to find any clue that could lead him to the main source of their problem.

It has been two months now and he had almost given up. There were no signs of change, the same old things kept happening; vampires feeding off humans, humans willingly offering their souls to demons for a better life, people worshipping false gods which in reality were reapers that would later torment their souls for eternity. It breaks Yoongi’s heart to see those low life demons disturbing the peace of his beloved humans.

When Yoongi could no longer bear the thought of seeing those atrocities and was about to leave, he sensed an immense power. There must have been a powerful creature on earth. He could sense it was evil; the powerful aura radiating from within its heart was pure evil. Since nobody could ever see him, living or dead, good or evil, he walked towards the direction of where the being should be. But he would have never expected to see what he saw.

A fallen God. One of the monstrous Gods that killed hybrids with their bare hands.

In the older days, Gods had the freedom to be with whoever they desired to be; angels, daemons, humans, witches. Everyone was living freely all across the lands. Hybrids were created, beings much more powerful than most of the Gods. Soon enough some the Gods envied the power the hybrids held, fuelled with jealousy and anger they achieved to turn every powerful God and magical creatures against them. Families were destroyed, young kids dragged away from their mothers’ embrace and in a matter of days, the young hybrids were either exiled or dead. But for the jealous gods, the massacre wasn't enough, and they started hunting down the surviving children; had those poor souls tremble in fear before tearing their hearts from their chest, killing mothers with their unborn babies inside them. This complete genocide of innoncent hybrids couldn’t be ignored by the other Gods, who stepped in to bring the perpetrators to justice. All except for one..

Nobody ever sought revenge, nobody tried to find what happened to the hybrids that survived. Deep down their parents knew what was better; even if the kids were in exile, it would be for the best for their identity to stay unknown; and if they were dead, they wouldn’t want to know the truth. Exile sounded better than death and for them, a lie would be better than the truth itself. It hurt too much to get separated from their beloved kids but who was to rise against the almighty Gods?

Taehyung is given the order to search for any clues inside the books they were passed down through generations, to find anything remotely close about the history of the hybrids. The library contains hundreds of books, centuries of history including the hybrids, knowledge upon the Gods, the known enemies, the existence of powerful unknown enemies hidden in the shadows, possible threats in the foreseeable future. So much information that is enough to get Taehyung confused and mostly make him give up only after two months of research.

Yoongi finds Taehyung shuffling around the library with one of the librarians, almost ready to devour her on top of priceless books which offer unlimited access to humanity's history. He would have expected him to be irresponsible, to be lazy and grumpy about the difficulty and the obligation of his duties towards their team but he would have never expected this kind of irresponsibility.

Yoongi fake coughs and it is enough to alert Taehyung who shoves himself away from the poor girl, the girl bowing slightly before leaving the two Gods alone. Taehyung is quick to grab the book right next to him, sitting back down on his chair to continue reading or at least pretend to.

"I never claimed to be the smart one, Yoongi hyung" the small pout on his lips is the sign that he is about to use, Yoongi's weakness

"Do not hyung me, Tae." Yoongi scoffs to the younger's attempt to get away from being lazy so easily

"It has been two months now and there is no progress! I am not the one to fix such a complicated matter!" Taehyung loses his calm, pouty demeanour and stands up with a small jump from his chair, tossing the book he was holding on the desk. "I wish I could help but reading is not my speciality. Having my head between books is boring" he whispers under his breath but Yoongi is quick to hear his words.

"Being between someone's legs is your speciality but right now we need you. I need you. We are talking about humanity's last chance to be saved." Yoongi's sarcasm is easy to detect and it has Taehyung get smaller when he sits back on his chair, book in hands again to keep up with their research "You may not care about them, may not miss them but they still have faith in us, Tae. We promised to take care of them as long as they honour us. And they still do." Yoongi eyes Taehyung for the first time this evening, his glare intimidating, so intimidating that has Taehyung look away from him before muttering something that sounded like "okay I'll do my best not to have them die"

Taehyung desperately tries to find any clue about the existence of any hybrids, any hint that there may be someone left to lead them back to the land where they used to live, where the families raised their kids. Two weeks go by since his small argument with Yoongi and he can feel that they are going in circles, there is no history left from back then, it seems as if they have erased any kind of hint about the hybrids.

“I give up. I guess humanity is going to die!” Taehyung mumbles “And I am in no mood to create new humans” he pouts and kicks his legs like a five year old

One of his wishes is to find an answer about the hybrids, he has been praying day and night to his ancestors to find a hybrid or for them to simply create one. Taehyung’s fear is not what will happen to humanity or what horrors the demons will bring upon them but what Yoongi and Namjoon will do to him if he doesn’t do his job. A loud thump breaks his train of thoughts, he jumps up quickly to find the cause of his disturbance.

“Why can’t I have some peace of mind?”

His footsteps lead him to an aisle full of some of the most ancient books they have, some of those are not even related to the recent Gods including him as well, books enclosing a few of the mysteries of the universe’s creation. A piece of paper draws his attention, with careful moves he retracts the paper and carefully reads it.

“Cl-o-clo...se? Close?” Taehyung sighs and tries to read it again

“ ‘Close your eyes’ ? Why didn’t I pay attention to ancient Greek? Okay.. Relax Taehyung. You got this..” he takes a deep breath and starts again “ ‘Close your eyes and.. and call my name.‘ ”

The frustration is already built up inside his mind, no time to waste but he is here trying to read a stupid paper that gives him no clue.

“Do I look like I know your name?”

“Call my name”

“W-what?” even for a creature like Taehyung that holds so much power, he is still scared of unknown voices that whisper to him.

Before he can ask for a second time, deep sleep takes him over and soon enough he is snoring on the floor, the books on the shelves shaking as something or maybe someone is arriving. The powerful spell he had just cast consumed all of his power and drained him but he is safe as the young woman arrives into their heavenly kingdom.

...

You are here.

You don’t know what here is, you don’t know where you are, what you are. You only know you belong here. Something or someone called for you. Someone woke you up from your deep sleep, you don’t know for how long you have been asleep for. Your last memory is your mother and father telling you how much they love you, how proud they are for you, how good and kind you are and that one day they will be with you again. They were scared last time you saw them; so scared. You were only a few decades old when something happened that brought so much sadness inside your house, in the place you grew up and learned to call home.

The way you heard your parents scream your name, the moment you saw their expressions change from happiness to pure terror... It still haunts you after so many years of silence. Their love can still be felt in your heart, you let it guide you as you walk down the aisle. By the looks of it, it must be a library. You think it must be a beautiful place to wake up, to make up for the years of not learning anything new, to build new memories to call your own.

It feels safe to be here, that’s what you think, already enchanted by the knowledge getting offered to you so openly. Book already in hands and for the first time in so long, you feel at peace. Even when you were asleep, away from reality, you could feel the loss, the longing. But now, everything seems to be falling into place. Is this what it feels like to hope?

There’s a God near you; you can sense his presence, his aura. A wave of euphoria overwhelms your emotions for a few seconds without realising you may be in heaven right now.

“Can I stay here a little bit longer?”

The stranger nods softly, a warm smile on his lips as he closes the space between you. Without any warning he hugs you, a way to reassure you it is safe to be here, to be with him.

“Of course” his voice sounds so sweet to your ears

“My name is Yoongi. If you need me, let me know”

With Yoongi gone you wish to continue reading, more and more books to offer you knowledge you don't have yet about this kingdom or the world, the human world. You don't find overwhelming the new information you get to explore; history of the world, evolution of the human kind, ancient times and magic, the background of your ancestors, the different kinds of art. Who could have thought humans would be so blessed?

But what about now? What is happening now in the human world? Maybe there is a book to enlighten you further into their history.

There is one book that stands out. A book in the middle of the library. Questions cloud your mind as to what makes it so important, why is it in the centre of the library. It presents itself in all its glory, white pages with golden letters. Letters that start appearing as if the book is writing its own story. And it does indeed.

The book represents the story of the human world. Everything happening right now in the human world is getting written on the book.

"It's a spell." the man says

“Don’t they need help?” but instead of waiting for an answer, you let the book answer for you

With only a touch of your hand the book spoke to you, time stood still for a split second, your eyes rolled at the back of your head and you saw; you saw the pain, the agony, the fear, the manipulation, torn souls and evil. So much evil.. It is way too late to save some of the souls, they were far too deep into the evil surrounding them, minds full of thoughts they didn’t own, another being controlling their every move, mindless puppets ready to do their master’s deed.

It feels so dark and lonely inside their world.. Hope and love can be seen, kindness can be found into the smallest corners. But you see traces of the same energy everywhere, black drops tracing back to the same aura, it cannot be seen but you can feel it spreading steadily, slowly devouring the goodness from people. It is like broken memories, the book whispering to you, scenes unravelling in front of you and they look all the same while they are revealing you one and only being; a man who walks on this earth to bring misery. A fallen God.

He is suppressing who he is, power drips from his fingertips but you can tell. He is the one to blame for the doom brought upon the humans. Why is he in every memory the book is showing you? You can only catch glimpses of him, his face changing every time he moves from one human to another. This fallen God finds a new host to live in but none of them can survive long, he repeats the same thing over and over again until he feels satisfied with the pain he brings upon.

Once you believe the book is done with showing you past memories, it shows you one more; the fallen God looking at someone. He smirks and you can feel it, all kinds of evil thoughts consuming his whole being and it scares you. It is time to go.

“Found you”

A sweet voice, there is nothing sweet about the tone he uses but his voice sounds so sweet.

"The Gods never left, little girl. Humans started worshipping lifeless devices, poisonous intimacy, gold and silver to rule their life. Humans abandoned the Gods, so They abandoned them."

The fallen God is so close to you, caught on what is happening you let your guard down and he grabs the opportunity to touch you. Is it fear you feel? No. This feeling is.. Sadness. Agony. Regret. He runs his finger on his plump lips to taste the sweetness of your fear mixed with your tears of agony. Blood boiling within his veins but it doesn't stop him from teasing you for a little more before tearing your soul. Desires of any kind have his mind under control, his thoughts are a swimming pool ready to lure you into the depths of it, darkness and loneliness wanting to drown you and keep you under their wet blanket.

“They still want you. They still need your love”

So many voices live inside his mind, the more you look into it, the more you stare into his eyes, you find something so familiar and endearing. Why is it that you cannot find yourself to feel threatened by him?

“Call me crazy, but I think I was meant to know you” you manage to get out in a soft whisper, hand reaching out to touch his cheek

His eyes soften for a moment before he goes back to his blank stare, but in that moment you felt as if he understood what you meant.

“Jimin” is the last thing you remember saying

The man who woke you up from your deep sleep, is the one who dragged you out of memories the book was showing you. Memories would not be the most accurate way to describe what just happened but you have no other explanation.

“Nobody was ever able to do what you just did” he says

“What is this book?” you ask as you take a step back from the book

“This is the book of past and present” he tells you “it shows every single thing that is happening right now in the mortal world, humans living and dying, every decision they make, good or bad thoughts”

“Who was that man? The fallen God?” you ask him in curiosity

“Taehyung, it’s okay. I’ll let her know about it”

Yoongi carefully takes your hand into his, looking for any hint of disapproval in your eyes but you have none when it comes to him and your new friend Taehyung, a sense of security warms up your heart when they are in your presence. Yoongi and you sit down on the sofa right next to the fireplace, the soft noises of the burning wood bring back memories you try to suppress while Yoongi recounts events of the past, stories of how Jimin, the fallen God you met and other fallen Gods brought shame to the Kingdom.

When all is said and done, Yoongi heads back to the headquarters to attend a meeting with their leader Namjoon, leaving you with Taehyung who is the one responsible for you.

...

Taehyung is taking his sweet time to do his so called research on you, within a few weeks you already have the ability to consume enormous amounts of information; history, science, evolution. And this kind of growth is not meant to happen in such a short time, not when the gods and daemons themselves have to learn little by little. Humans are strange, humans are unpredictable and so are you. Are you a human? Are you a god? Are you a daemon?

His eyes follow your every movement; the way your lower lip twitches every time you read something that excites you, how your eyes squint in curiosity when a new information is found within the endless pages of the books you’re reading, how pretty your skin looks under the warm light of the fireplace.

“You better stop” he tells himself

"Could you please stop fidgeting?" you ask him without taking your eyes off your book

Taehyung cannot stop staring at you, the former interruption with the librarian left him unsatisfied and bothered. Obviously you are sending him no signals, nothing impure coming from your way but that doesn’t stop him from closing his eyes to imagine how good you would feel underneath him.

With eyes shut tight his thoughts can only lead to pure filth, marking your hot skin, your sweet smell only serves to drive him crazy. Nobody has ever touched you in that way before and he wishes to be your first. Taehyung opens his eyes to be met with the beautiful sight of you. Legs now spread to help him with any kind of relief, his cock restrained inside his painfully tight pants.

“What’s up?” his voice dropped an octave and you can feel his eyes piercing through your skin

“What’s good?” another question follows but you're unsure on what he refers to

Unknowingly you trace your eyes back to him, Taehyung touching his soft lips, index finger brushing his lower lip and you cannot help but trace his every movement. A new feeling blooms inside your chest making the next thing he says so easy to follow and accept.

"Come here, angel"

The aroma coming from his aura is unbearably sweet, intoxicating. His long, curly hair falls in front of his sharp eyes, hands now placed in each of his thighs and it surprises you how breathtakingly deceitful looks are. You could have mistaken him for a devil if you didn't already know he is a God.

Lust.

The smell of lust is oozing out from every part of his body, he is so unnaturally warm when you touch his face. Taehyung grabs your hand softly, no words come out of his mouth when he pulls you in one sharp movement and places you underneath him.

"Do you trust me?"

The mixture of his scent with the warmth of his body offer nothing but safety, body relaxing under his weight. The hair at the back of your neck raises in every soft breath he takes, feeling so sensitive as it hits your skin.

"Please tell me you trust me"

Goosebumps awaken on your skin when his lips brush at the shell of your ear and you softly nod to his words. You are scared to answer, afraid your voice will betray you. You wouldn't have let him touch you, be so close to you if you didn't trust him. It doesn't feel wrong to be here with him, to feel him press his cock on your thigh.

You are not that clueless about sex, neither are you experienced. It doesn't matter because you want to know, you want to feel what those humans felt when they sold their souls to the lust demons. It must be so good, so heavenly good for them to sell the most valuable thing they have, their soul.

With his teeth grazing on your neck you close your eyes, a sound you have never made before leaves your lips and Taehyung immediately freezes. Taehyung's hand comes to wrap around your neck, fingers softly pressing against your throat but in a way that only serves to drive you crazy.

"You drive me mad. You haven't done anything but a sound and I am already so hard for you."

Taehyung roughly bites on your ear this time and you feel your panties sticking on your folds, your empty core in desperate need of attention.

"Let me take care of your every need, let me taste you"

With your clothes being a barrier anymore, Taehyung praises you, taking over you, senses overwhelmed as he is buried between your legs. His tongue is attacking your clit relentlessly, one of his digits inside your pussy and you can already tell why everyone is so easily blinded by lust.

The sounds of your moans fill up the small of the room, his fingers entering your mouth to silence you. Your instincts tell you to suck around his fingers, to lick them and you are glad you do. Taehyung groans, your actions cause him to speed up his finger, curling it inside your pussy to attack that soft spot that has you moan around his fingers.

Your back is arching, shivers welcoming a new wave of pleasure and you can sense your whole body falling apart. He knows what he is doing to you, acting so innocent as he wipes your cum off his face.

"You are dripping wet, angel"

The smirk on his face and his full blown out eyes have you spellbound, you haven't caught your breath yet from your first orgasm but you want more, you need more.

"Please, I want more"

Taehyung doesn't need more than those words to oblige, cock lining on your entrance, his need to feel you raw may cause him problems later on but he doesn't care, mind only filled with you. Thoughts of you. The sounds you make only for him.

"Look into my eyes" he says, voice laced with love and you know you won't regret having him be your first

You cannot close your eyes, the euphoric feeling of bliss overwhelms your senses and in that moment he is taking over you, he has your heart in his hands. A moment only the two of you will ever share, a memory you will forever treasure.

…

The night sky looked so beautiful from the balcony outside the library, your favourite place for the past few weeks now and you cannot wait until the moon rises. For the moon to be in its full bloom, to smell the night wind carrying the fragrance of the flowers that prettily decorate the garden.

“Why are you always up so late?” a familiar voices stops your train of thoughts

“Yoongi” you say with a smile forming on your lips

“World's asleep” you add “more room for thoughts”

Yoongi nods, quietly coming your way. Having him so close feels comforting, you had such a long day, the effort you put to trace Jimin again, the fallen god Yoongi and you saw in the human world, is wearing you down. But to have Yoongi share this beautiful night sky with you, a new feeling starts blooming in your heart. He has been supportive, he has been guiding you carefully into the human world and both inside his world, the community the Gods have. He is so good to you..

Like a dream come true, you find yourself able to breathe again, your heart coming at ease. Is it natural to feel the same way for more than two people? This feeling inside your heart is the same one you feel when you are around Taehyung.

But now you want to hold Yoongi closer, to feel him closer; with no thoughts on your mind you turn around and kiss him. What surprises you is not how easily Yoongi accepted your kiss but the way Taehyung found a way to creep inside your mind. Taehyung is filling your mind with thoughts of him, Yoongi is slowly making his own way to your heart and you cannot choose who owns your heart.

Every love story is a ghost story. Maybe you don’t have to choose.. Maybe you have found your ghosts.

#ksmutclub #yoongi fanfic #taehyung fanfic #yoongi smut #taehyung smut #yoongi x reader #taehyung x reader #bts fanfic #bts smut #yoongi scenarios #taehyung scenarios #bts supernatural au #yoongi #taehyung #dbn hs

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patricksilverrose · 5 years ago

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Current Music Obsessions: May 2020

Better late than never! It just didn't seem right posting about music last week, but here we go! Let's see those honorable mentions.

Nanne Gronvall - Hall om mig Chelsea Jade - Superfan Caligula's Horse - Slow Violence Ninet - Subservient Munro - Pursuer Talanas - Asylum Conflict - To Serve and Protect Little Dead Bertha - Inferno Secrets of the Moon - Don't Look Now Me and That Man - Mestwo Dorian Electra - Sorry Bro (I Love You) Within Temptation - The Promise

Darkwell - Hope Unborn Thy Catafalque - Embersolyom Sojourner - The Deluge SVRCINA - Flowers Zuberoa Aznarez - Our Silent Word Aeonian Sorrow - The Endless Fall of Grief Nevaria - Drowning Wishmasters - Wasteland Oceans of Slumber - Strange Fruit Draconian - Lustrous Heart Mephorash - Sanguinem Benighted Soul - No Questions Asked Volturian - Broken Her Chariot Awaits - Take Me Higher Angel - Flames of Desire Ani Lo Projekt - Back to You Kingfisher Sky - Technicoloured Eyes Tomarum - Throes of Life, Forever Entwined

And now for my main obsessions

Lost in Separation - Drowning

These guys are signed to the same label as Spiritbox, which is how I found out about them. This is some djenty goodness. Their front man has such a unique voice and this song really packs a punch. I'm definitely gonna keep an eye out for them.

Miracle Flair - The Untold

Found this through their record label and I wasn't too sure about it at first, but then the chorus kicked in and sold it to me. The vibe of the chorus is so good and haunting. It's what makes the song for me. Also the album is really nice, but this song really stands out on it.

Kari Rueslåtten - Sørgekåpe

Her new album is super soft and gentle. This is definitely my favorite off it. It's so pleasant and chill. The softness of her voice and the simplicity of the instrumentals really make it stand out compared to some of her other works. Really love this one.

Gate - Huldra

Found these guys the the recommended videos on YT and I'm so glad I found it. If Eivor decided to make prog rock, this would be it. The strong experimental folk vibes with the powerful guitars in the chorus and wild vocal lines make this song so amazing. I definitely need to check out more from them.

Caroline Polachek - Ocean of Tears

I reacted to this song over on my music channel and I'm so glad someone recommended me to react to it. It's so beautiful. Her voice is just so lovely. The song has a strong nautical feel to it and her vocal lines really add to it. I need more of her in my life.

One-Winged Angel - REBIRTH (Final Fantasy VII Remake Soundtrack)

You know what they did? That. That's what they did.

Aleah - My Will

I never thought that we would get more music from Aleah Stanbridge, but then I find this beautiful song. I also reacted to this on my music channel and was on the verge of tears the entire time. Juha is doing such an amazing job at immortalizing her voice and continues to keep her dream alive. This song is so touching and beautiful. I can't wait to get my copy next month.

Dool - Dust & Shadow

If you need some haunting doom metal, this is a great one. Such an amazing way to close off an epic album. It's so dark and haunting and wonderful. They really outdid themselves with this one. I didn't think that the new album would be so good, and then this song followed so many amazing tracks and just blew me away. It's so simple, but that production just sells it.

And that's it for May. June is already looking like it will be a slow month for me and music, so it might be a shorter list than this one. But anyways, hope you all enjoy these tunes!

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lickthemagaindeacy · 6 years ago

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Hiii! I recently just fell in love with Queen and I think they are absolutely amazing and I love how hilarious and adorable they all are with each other. I just have one question: I can never find anything really where Brian and Deaky are being cute and talking about each other. Is there some animosity there? Just wondering. Thanks!

Oh wow this a GREAT ask. I actually feel quite honored that you came to ask me about this!

First of all, hi!! Welcome to the Royal Family!! Always great to have new Queenies on board.

So, the short answer to this is, yes. There was a bit. But allow me to elaborate.

I think from the beginning, John and Brian were never as close with each other as they were with Freddie or Roger. John was introduced to Roger and Brian at a club through a mutual friend, and John and Roger hit it off right away. They shared a lot of the same interests; cars, music, science fiction, movies. They are also the youngest, so they were immediately buddies. Once John joined Queen, Freddie felt the need to sort of be John's "band mom", for lack of a better term. John was always incredibly shy around new people and crowds, so Freddie sort of became John's voice, and tried to kind of protect him from some of the crazier aspects of the rock 'n' roll lifestyle. Now, although they got along and worked fine together professionally, and respected each other as musicians, I don't think Brian and John quite had that close of a connection.

However, when John found those old radio parts and built his home made amp in 1972, he brought it to Brian and immediately Brian started experimenting with it and various other equipment. The Deacy Amp was responsible for a lot of the layering and tone and such that became an integral part of Queen's sound. Take a listen, for example, to Brian's song "Good Company". He was able to create the illusion of a string ensemble by layering the Red Special through the Deacy Amp. There's a great article on it here. Brian still has and uses the original Deacy Amp.

As time went on, John started to become more involved in the decision making and songwriting processes. He started joining arguments. He became more confident in himself and his place in the band. With that comes more friction between these four very strong personalities. It's important to understand that the four members of Queen had vastly different songwriting styles and musical tastes. Roger is a very punk rock style drummer. Brian, for the most part, has that sound that leans from prog rock into metal, with his occasional foray into folk style. John is a funk master. He was all about funk, Motown, and disco. One of his favorite groups was Cream. Freddie loved his fantasy songs, and was very into pulling classical piano and opera sound into his songs.

The point where this all comes to a head is on their 1982 album Hot Space. You can look up critical reviews of this album, most of them will say that it was very "self indulgent" of Queen, and it strayed very far from their "usual sound" (which is saying a lot for a band whose sound had already been all over the place. For the love of cheese, their biggest album to date was called A Night At The Opera, which spanned from music hall to folk songs to seaside ditties to love ballads. I digress.) Now I've heard lots of different takes on this. Apparently the recording of Hot Space was a tense time, but it was all around a bad time in Brian's life in general, for personal and professional reasons. He and Roger were fairly opposed to the idea of a disco album. The Game had already featured a lot of funk style, and they'd broken their one rule and used synthesizers. Roger and Brian wanted to return more to their prog rock roots. Freddie and John, however, were really pushing for more exploration into these styles and genres. They wanted to move with the times. It's been said that at some point in all of this, John and Brian came to a head and had the worst fight they'd ever had. This, supposedly, was the birth of "Back Chat". I don't know that it's been confirmed, but listening to it, it's really difficult to think that Deacy wrote it about anybody but Brian and their difficulties, especially with the line, "You stand so tall, you don't frighten me at all". The song just screams frustration. It's also said that they argued about whether Brian should put a guitar solo in it (Deacy apparently didn't want one).

However, they seem to have pulled through this just fine. They went on tour shortly after the album was released, and "Staying Power", which is the first track on Hot Space, became really popular during that tour. Brian can now, it seems, look back on it with no ill will.

During recording for The Works and A Kind of Magic, and their subsequent tours, for the most part, they seemed to be back to the professional rapport they'd had before. Roger and John did a lot of the public appearances and gave interviews. Freddie, I believe, was working a lot on his solo work. Brian was dealing with the dissolution of his marriage (but that's a whole other can of worms.) But Queen as a whole was back in tip-top shape. There are even a few shared moments on stage between John and Brian. One in particular I can think of is them teaming up to harass Freddie a little at one show when he made them wait to start the next song so could get his water.

During Freddie's final years, and the making of The Miracle and Innuendo, they all seemed to really pull together after taking a small hiatus from working together. Those two albums were on a much higher level than most of the work they'd done in the 80's. They were back in the swing of things. John was even more confident snd more willing to give interviews.

Brian, as well as Freddie's long term partner Jim Hutton, said that John wasn't around all that much toward the end, as Freddie's illness was really quite difficult for him to deal with. And, supposedly, when finishing Made In Heaven, there was a bit more tension as they all argued over how to finish this album without their voice of reason. But when you've just lost your best friend to an illness that no one seems to even want to understand, you're bound to lash out even at those closest to you.

Now, Brian speaks about John with nothing but respect, appreciation and admiration. He always, I believe, had that respect and awe for Deacy as a bassist and musician. He talks often of how lyrical and melodic John was on bass, and how much of a powerhouse he and Rog were as a rhythm section. He has spoken of how John is still a part of the business side of Queen, and how he always informs John of what they are doing. He doesn't always get an answer about things, but he keeps John in the loop. And there's also a tweet floating around out there where he said that John's songs are still good!!

So in conclusion, yes, there was some tension, but not any more than there was in the rest of the band (there are some.stories there, too. They fought so hard some times they'd start throwing things), but I think the reason we don't see as much interaction between Brian and John is simply because, while they were friends and bandmates, they didn't have the same close relationship with each other as they did with Freddie or Roger, which is neither good nor bad. It just is. They still spent 20 years as half of an absolute musical power group, were able to create amazing music together and spend so much time in close quarters without killing each other or walking away from the band.

Also, have this. I think it's cute.

(Oh god I'm sorry this got so long. Also if anyone would like to add/correct any of this, please feel free. I am definitely NOT the last authority on this!)

#ay oh!#Brian May #John Deacon

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hcmj · 6 years ago

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HCMJ’s Favorite Albums of 2018!

Listen to a mix featuring these albums here: HCMJ’s 2018 End Of Year Mix

Honorable Mentions:

LLLL - Chains Phase 4: Resemblance

Various - 慕情 in da tracks

Endurance - Shade Terrarium

Farragol x dropp - 楽感 / optimo

pool$ide - aquarius

FUJII - EUPHORIA

Andrew W.K. - You’re Not Alone

Stardazer - Vacation Dreams

Alex Crispin - Open Submission

Foodman - Aru Otoko No Densetsu

20) TUPPERWΛVE - To you baby, with love

As the years go by, sometimes I still crave that classic-style (or as Tech Honors once described SEAWRLDハートブレーク, “trash-ass”) vaporwave sound. It’s the usual fare of slowed down antiquated R&B with filter sweeps and side-chained kicks, but TUPPERWΛVE’s sample choices and looped snippets stay inspired throughout, building emotionally impactful arrangements and proving the artist has what 90% of contemporary vaporwave is missing: a sense of taste and purpose. NUWRLD vibes.

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19) The Caretaker - Everywhere At The End Of Time - Stage 4 & 5

Leyland Kirby released stages 4 and 5 of his six part, multi-year epic simulating a mind falling into dementia. It’s said the last memories someone suffering from dementia retains are the melodies heard in their youth, and on this year’s installments we find melodies from the first stages lost in a haze of static and noise. While not as easy to listen to as the first three stages, these 8 tracks lose the poetic titles of the previous installments and present an absolutely horrifying interpretation of the confusion that comes with a mind breaking down.

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18) Kate NV - для FOR

I won’t lie, I went into the new Kate NV hoping for at least a few heart-melting rib-cage exploding pop masterpieces like what she showed us on Binasu (my favorite album of 2016). However, the absence of conventional songwriting on для FOR ends up being its defining characteristic. The album delivers a set of impressionistic synth sculptures that slowly develop an album that blossoms into blissful organic structures with brushstrokes of vocals before skipping off into a brightly lit horizon.

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17) 忘れた頃に手紙をよこさないで - Tamao Ninomiya

There is an air of surreality drifting through the new crop of Tokyo underground post-pop. Tamao Ninomiya’s “lo-fi bedroom pop” is always performed in PJs and has a playful gloominess with a thousand-yard-stare kind of shyness that exudes a special kind of emotional resonance. Everything is gentle, subtly “off” - it’s an inventive and delicate pop sketchbook.

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16) Kero Kero Bonito - Time 'n' Place

The same way Pokémon Yellow was a video game based on an anime that was based on a video game, Kero Kero Bonito is a British group that has arrived at a sound closer to early 2000′s jrock than the British rock that crop of Japanese musicians were imitating. While the final 1/3rd of the album drags, there’s no denying the pop perfection of “Time Today,” the Blue-Album-Weezer thunder of “Only Acting,” the Parklife-era Blur artschool bounce of “If I’d Known,” the whimsical bubblegum of “Make Believe,” or the saccharin yet heartfelt “Dear Future Self,” a pop meditation complete with "Mr. Blue Sky” charm and melodramatic chamber orchestra arrangements.

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15) we could die here - we could die here

While “brooding ambient” is a genre I have drifted away from these past years, ‘we could die here’ reminded me of why I was once drawn to it. It’s all about creating atmospheres, and while so much of genre these days seems to be producing the same, boring, smoke-filled neon/black room, ‘we could die here’s lush sound succeeds in building a sprawling, haunting world with enough depth that it’s worth returning to.

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14) poemme - Moments in Golden Light

Similar in scope to ‘we could die here,’ Moments in Golden Light is as advertised - warm and soft. Blissful pillows of ambience constructed in the old style, poemme pulses and drones with the silkiness of Hakobune and the breadth of Steve Roach, featuring a track that even unabashedly layers in bird samples.

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13) Machine Girl - The Ugly Art

The Ugly Art is special, as it’s the first Machine Girl album that begins to capture the raw energy and power of their live shows by showcasing live drums. The insane breaks are intact and the blistering Dreamcast punk is more hardcore. It’s dense, unrelenting in its shredding, and culminates in the epic “A Decent Man,” a 10 minute violent rave masterpiece with more content than all 3 Matrix movies combined.

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12) Oneohtrix Point Never - Age Of

Age Of is a complex concept album more convoluted than a Roger Waters solo project. The music itself makes the trip one worth taking, through 13 immaculately produced tracks painting a post-apocalyptic machine world. It has an ability to turn pop tricks on tracks like “Black Snow” and “Same,” while the sound remains distant from any of comfortable paradigm. Bits of static, broken samples, and walls of noise develop into larger-than-life ballads that seem eerily familiar despite being so alien. The arrangements are complex and the production is deep, it’s a cyber-western soundtrack that always commands full attention.

SPOTIFY / APPLE MUSIC

11) Seth Graham - Gasp

Gasp has a charm and complexity that sets it apart from a lot of experimental composition. The tape cut samples of “Whisper - Slap” sound impossibly worked on, while the ASMR freakouts of “Binary Tapioca” and the restrained playfulness of “Flower Cheese” make the process sound like an artist working effortlessly. Deeply emotive and loudly expressive, Gasp has a sound that digs in its hooks and burrows deep.

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10) Equip - Synthetic Core 88

The long awaited followup to the seminal faux-ost I Dreamed Of A Palace In The Sky, Synthetic Core 88 delivers on the promise of Equip’s earlier work and brings it to a new realm of legitimacy. This is a 32-bit RPG I wish I could play - with all the themes of interwoven technology and magic revealing themselves in the clever score. The conflict between the cold steel and floral lushness emerges in the sound somewhere between Uematsu and a “Tales of” game. This album could only be made by someone who truly understands how music supports the worldbuilding an RPG needs to be a successful narrative platform.

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9) Utsuro Spark - Static Electricity

Utsuro Spark is a miracle. One of the highlights from the impressive output of the Japanese label, Local Visions, this mini-album is a collection of beautifully crafted metropolitan electro pop. Sharp instrumentals including studio-perfect guitar and on-point synth work lay a foundation for blissfully creamy vocals - pop music that is full of desperate longing and unpretentious charm. The katakana titles recall the old Japanese pop it draws inspiration from, but in many ways the soul of this music at the very least meets the bar set by the old masters.

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8) Tsudio Studio - Port Island

I was lucky to play a show in Kobe with Tsudio Studio, whose brilliant songwriting and iconic vocal delivery completely won over my heart and soul. The jazzy coolness and gorgeous chord structure for tracks like “Azur” and “Snowfall Seaside” are absolutely intoxicating, while the hooky R&B in “Mikage” and the Phantasy Star Online space-shredding of the opener “Tor” make Port Island a mini-album where every single track is a stand out.

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7) Dinosaur On Fire - Populous Romantique

After a 6 year gap, dds cohort Tech Honors unleashed the second Dinosaur On Fire album in a maelstrom of prog rock and laser beams. It’s an ultra hi-fi production that bounces from stoner prog to krautrock to synthwave to operatic video game symphonies to Ray Lynch arp fountains and back again effortlessly. Populous Romantique showcases the expansive reach of Tech’s abilities both as a visionary artist and producer.

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6) Monari Wakita - Ahead!

While so much jpop has become aggressively intense and fast-tempo, Ahead! provides a soulful contrast. Monari Wakita is an ex-idol and alumni of Especia, a group known for capitalizing on 80′s/90′s nostalgia. Ahead! mostly pulls from the 90′s, with new jack swing aping and hyper-produced city pop so technically perfect that the instrumentals would sound at home on the soundtrack of a 90′s Sonic Team video game. It’s that FM bass, synthetic swing, and plastic instrumentation against Monari’s powerful and soulful voice that gives Ahead! its irresistible charm and made it one of the most addictive albums of the year.

VIDEO 1 / VIDEO 2

5) Ventla - Plugged-Matic/Sublingual Odyssey

After years of silence, Ventla returned in 2018 with 10 (!) new albums on his quest to release 100. Ventla’s music continues to be eclectic vignettes of scratchy pop music, utilizing a seemingly endless variety of instruments and synths. Of the 10, the “classic Ventla” sound of Plugged-Matic and the playful exoticism explored on Sublingual Odyssey were my favorites - but with an artist whose entire catalog of 477 songs is easily played on loop for days on end, picking only 2 albums is almost an act of futility.

STREAM/DOWNLOAD: Plugged-Matic/Sublingual Odyssey

4) emamouse - Pigeon’s Point

emamouse’s genius visual art and surreal identity are accented by her equally forward thinking music. The iconic opener “01_PP2″ is a brilliant statement of purpose; a homicidal vocaloid squeaking words you can’t quite understand but frighten you nonetheless over a synth organ jamming out hypnotic post-pop you can’t help but dance to. This is music written by a true artist with a powerful vision of reality and instrumental chops informed by video game music deep cuts. “08_Pigeon’s Swipe” is another great showcase of emamouse’s ability to skew Dragon Quest baroque synths and contort them into the brilliant, unsettling world of her boundless imagination.

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3) TWICE - What Is Love?

Kpop can be a divisive genre, but its meteoric rise in the US is no fluke. The Korean pop machine has mastered the art of the pop song, and nowhere is it more evident than in TWICE’s “What Is Love?” Perfect structure, heart-tugging hook, surprising turns, and a chorus that sounds like 1000 girls yelling the lyrics from the bottom of the grand canyon, “What Is Love?” is technically perfect and sweetly endearing. It’s truly the most perfect pop song I’ve ever heard.

VIDEO

2) Mid-Air Thief - Crumbling

Crumbling is an album so in tune with my personal taste it’s hard to believe it exists. With a foundation of Lamp-esque dreamy pop labyrinths, Mid-Air Thief weaves complex arrangements peppered with ELO synths, chiptune fireworks, lo-fi indie folk revery, underwater voices and Elliott Smith whispers, even some Merriweather Post Pavilion electro-hippy clouds. It’s all the right flavors and textures coming together in a perfectly balanced, romantic masterpiece.

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1) Lamp - Her Watch / 彼女の時計

I discovered Lamp through a vaporwave album back in 2014 that sampled them heavily, and while those short samples of cooing vocals and breezy guitar looped with their heads underwater certainly worked in a satisfying way on that album, discovering the source material was a revelation. Lamp is the result of an algorithm to determine music that would be most appealing to me, and they hit new ridiculous heights of personal appeal on Her Watch. Their signature labyrinthine hurricane of Beatle-esque chord changes under soft voices and bossa nova rhythms is re-fitted into a nostalgic frame, sometimes approaching an almost city pop revivalist sound. The tenderness of “Slow-Motion,” the romance of “A Train Window,” the pop genius of “1998,” the borage of melancholic brightness that rolls from the opening chords of “At The Night Party,” all of it falls into place on the most sublime 36 minutes I have heard in a long time. It was the soundtrack to my life this year and my favorite album of 2018!

STREAM/DOWNLOAD / SPOTIFY / APPLE MUSIC

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thesunlounge · 6 years ago

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Reviews 227: Kankyō Ongaku

In 2017, Light in the Attic initiated an ambitious project, one seeking to survey and contextualize the modern musical history of Japan. The first release in their so-called Japan Archival Series was Even a Tree Can Shed Tears: Japanese Folk & Rock 1969 -1975, an extensive celebration of Japan’s “New Music” scene. One of the artists that emerged from this era was Haruomi Hosono, whose discography the label visited during 2018 as part of their Haruomi Hosono Archival Series (which I covered extensively here), taking a slight detour from the more general overview of modern Japanese music to celebrate one of the world’s most enigmatic and creative sonic minds. And now, at the start of 2019, Light in the Attic’s Japan Archival Series resumes with the stunning Kankyō Ongaku: Japanese Ambient, Environmental, & New Age Music 1980 - 1990.

An introductory essay by project mastermind Spencer Doran (and a complimentary Vinyl Factory interview) paint an incredible picture of unique moment in history, when the lines between pop art, science, corporate capitalism, and new age healing all seemed to blur together. Heady modern philosophies inspired by Eno, Satie, and ancient musical traditions such as Hosono’s “oceanic feeling” and “sightseeing music,” Satoshi Ashikawa’s notions of passive environmental ambiance, and Hiroshi Yoshimura’s modes of silent tranquility all came to life within a period of great economic prosperity and technological advancement, which afforded the myriad artists and sound designers new methods and experimental avenues to display their vibratory art. This was a time when corporations, exhibition curators, theater producers, fashion designers, and advertisers all sought out musical explorers, both popular and obscure, to create wonderfully experimental compositions in conversation with the environments that surrounded them….a time when you could walk through a museum or department store and hear deeply mystical or adventurously cosmic music spilling out into the air. As well, the essay traces how Japanese environmental music, or kankyō ongaku, adapted and expanded over time, specifically its folding in of new age textures and natural field recordings as people sought an escape from the frantic energies of modern life.

Visually, the collection is adorned with gorgeous photography of the Fumihiko Maki-designed Iwasaki Art Museum, a location and architect that both play a large role in this musical story. And beyond the introductory essay, there are well-researched descriptions and bios by Spencer and Yosuke Kitazawa that provide context and history for each and every track, with contemporaneous photos, fliers, and album covers accompanying the words. Musically, the set comprises a completely immersive and beautifully sequenced experience, one that features glowing electric piano dreamscapes, minimalist organ psychedelics, aquatic synth experimentations, spiritual stone meditations, tropical fusion glides, kosmische sound baths, underwater ambient adventures, and so much else besides. In this way, the compilation is also positioned within a larger context…a sort of global movement of space music, new age, and ambient that Light in the Attic has been exploring via their I Am the Center and (The Microcosm) collections, with Kankyō Ongaku seeking to do for Japan what those releases did for America and Europe, respectively.

Kankyō Ongaku: Japanese Ambient, Environmental, & New Age Music 1980 - 1990 (Light in the Attic, 2019) Though his life was tragically short, Satoshi Ashikawa looms large in the world of kankyō ongaku, not only for his compositions and philosophies, but also due to working at the influential Art Vivant book and record shop, a sort of cultural hub and early importer of avant garde, ambient, and minimalist music within Japan. His “Still Space” sees crystallized FM pianos moving through starlight note clusters and atonal chord bursts, with a backing of vaporous string swells. The sounds evoke leaves blowing in the wind and slow motion ripples on the surface of a pond and Satoshi is just as interested in silence, with chasms of empty space sitting between the patient, methodical, and meditative melodies. Yoshio Ojima’s “Glass Chattering” is taken from Une Collection Des Chainons: Music for Spiral, his 2xCD masterwork created for Wacoal’s Spiral building…another important architectural space within the environmental music scene designed by Fumihiko Maki. Underwater computer sequences sound like seafloor vents letting out streams of liquid glass while space flutes swim overhead. The dazzling electronics briefly recede, leaving synthetic woodwinds to intertwine and flow freely. And once the vibrant sequential patterns return, melancholic orchestrations are discernible within their movements, only obscured by watery percolations. Pale synth streaks drift on echowaves then fade away during a false ending, with the silence soon replaced by a looping vortex of polychromatic music boxes and shimmering chimes with gentle pads walking underneath…their spacious notes decaying through reverb caverns.

One of my favorite aspects of this compilation is how it goes out of its way to pay tribute to Hideki Matsutake, the un-official fourth member and sound programmer of Yellow Magic Orchestra and expert synthesizer technician who rarely gets his due. “Nemureru Yoru” was originally conceived as a novelty sleep aid and is presented here in its instrumental form. Wavering pads and whistling sequences generate playful vibes of childlike wonder before fading into a phaser-blasted drone expanse, wherein pillowy 808 kicks sit below synthetic approximations of traintrack clicks and dripping liquids. And as heatwave static mirages create psychedelic patterns that wrap around the body, dreamtime arps constructed from filtering feedback flutters lull the mind into relaxation. Then comes a track by Ayuo Takahashi, who spent his teens jamming with Ryuichi Sakamato and those lords of molten psychedelia Fushitsusha before embarking on an adventurous solo career marrying modern electronics and ancient and medieval musical traditions. “Nagareru” is intensely beautiful and starts with gentle piano arpeggios intertwining with waterfall solo cascades as shimmering bell strands and twinkling chime vibrations suffuse the background. String synths and kosmische organs swell with majestic orchestrations while Ayuo’s piano journeys into the clouds…all setting the stage for the introduction of Koharu Kisaragi, a radiant goddess whose cosmic angel voice soars through gaseous fx layers and star ocean expanses.

Of all the artists appearing here, Joe Hisashi has one of the most storied careers. He’s a musical polyglot, equally comfortable exploring anime and video game OSTs, classical music, and vocal pop. But for Kankyō Ongaku, we focus on Joe’s more obscure and psychedelic side with Wonder City Orchestra’s “Islander.” Owing to his early interests in American minimalism, “Islander” is deeply indebted to Terry Riley, with bubbly organ patterns moved over by ring modulated steel drum sequences and aquamarine pad swells. Rainforest drum panoramas work into the mix with rolling finger motions and sunshine rhythm energies while kosmische organ smears swirl like a galactic gas cloud. And best of all, psychoactive organ pulsations fly through time-lag accumulators, creating rapid motion dreamspells and hypnotizing crystal cascades. Yoshiaki’s Ochi “Ear Dreamin’” is another piece closely associated with Wacoal and the Spiral Building, though it was originally written as part of a stage performance entitled Natural Sonic from 1983. Layered mbiras, balafons, bell-tone shimmers, and lullaby chimes work together as whistling melodies fly through the sky…everything coming together for a polyrhythmic dance of idiophonic magic. Mermaid choirs float up from deep sea depths as wooden planks vibrate, metal tines oscillate, and bulbous gourds rattle and dazzling solo flights occasionally break-free from the Afro-minimalist dream weavings.

The liner notes cast Masashi Kitamura as somewhat of an outsider, one more involved with Japan’s prog, punk, and noise scenes than anything overlapping with kankyō ongaku. However, “Variation·III” from 1984, which was released with his band Phonogenix, fits nicely within this compilation’s larger sonic aesthetic, as triangle chimes ring out over waves of water and static. Bleary ambient tones drift in…as if funereal choirs and swells of synth and guitar ambiance have been submerged within a viscous gray fluid. Thunderous drum smacks sit loudly in the mix while mutating vibrato waves and currents of burning noise wash over the mind and at some point, bowed string instruments scream into the void. One of several Haruomi Hosono-produced tracks here is “Park” by Interior. Clicks and snaps background impressionistic smears of synth brass while drunken sequences dance through fragile melodies. Time flows in nonsensical ways and everything cycles according to a hazy dream logic as the track builds towards a climax of whip-crack drum fx and heavenly organs playing spring meadow hymns. The next track was produced by Sankai Juku dance troupe director and SCI Prophet-5 wizard Yoichiro Yoshikawa for a documentary series called The Miracle Planet (NHK, 1987). In “Nube,” galactic revolutions of aquatic synthesis surround massive bass waves and obscured male choirs that mutate through tremolo breaths. Thrilling filter ascents are immersed within sea-blue vortices and currents of black fog while elsewhere, feedback wisps and spiritual drone baths circle together.

Yoshio Suzuki has a rather impressive jazz background, having worked with titans such as Art Blakey and Sonny Rollins during the 70s before exploring softer sounds in the 80s via the use of synthesizers. Taken from Morning Picture, which was produced as part of series of ambient home listening releases by JVC, “Meet Me in the Sleep Meadow” finds hallucinatory synth pianos swimming through a thick haze, with all sorts of magical modulations added via tape warble and wow’n’flutter. And as Yoshio’s gentle Oberheim fantasias move above wispy swells, I’m reminded of the spaciousness and meditative wonder found in Satoshi Ashikawa’s work. Ryuichi Sakamoto needs no introduction and his “Dolphins” (from a dance piece by Molissa Fenley called Esperanto) is utterly beguiling, with aqueous swells of heaven bringing in reverb-smothered piano chords that seem to decay from infinite clifftops. Backwards flowing noise hazes and sea-form delay sprays sit above cut-up voices, skittering cyborg loops, staccato conversations, and droning machine breaths, all while Yas-Kaz’s improvised marimbas dance on sunbeams. One of the most interesting pieces here comes from Toshi Tsuchitori, originally a jazz drummer who drifted towards archeological musicology and ancient instrumentation. His “Ishiura” is played on sanukaito stones and sees earthen energies flowing forth from vibrating volcanic rocks. A tambourine rattles softly as Toshi creates vocal tremolo waves and overlapping resonances from stone, with his soft taps and violent bursts sometimes evoking wind chimes, other times a gamelan ensemble.

Shiho Yabuki is yet another figure who started in the world of jazz and then opened up her sound via synthesizers and research into traditional musics. In “Tomoshibi,” which is part of an album dedicated to the 1200th anniversary of the Enryaku-ji monastery, gemstone feedback fluids waver through the void…as if hallucinatory streaks of sonic mesmerism are flowing forth from a string instrument made of pure crystal. Soft plucks generate massive rainbow wavefronts while celestial zithers cascade on echo-currents and as it progresses, the track evolves into a hypnotic dance of purifying feedback melodics and Laraaji-style deep sea new age. Toshifumi Hinata produced “Chaconne” with his brother Daisuke, who was a member of Interiror. The song comes from Toshifumi’s first album Sarah’s Crime and presages his breakthrough as a TV and film composer. We begin with sirens calling out from an island of dreams…their voices flowing through pearlescent clouds of self-oscillating delay magic and constantly threatening to spill over into resonant feedback chaos. Cosmic harpsichord sequences dance through asteroid fields and melodious bass pads flow out from the center of the cosmos with lush symphonic movements and shadowy dream transitions. Klaus Schulze-style key changes swim within a kosmische sound bath…the sequences and melodic fogs sweeping upwards through minor and major key ecstasies as pianos splash through tide pools of ether.

The adventurously far-out career of Yasuaki Shimizu intersected often with the world of kankyō ongaku, many examples of which were collected on 1987’s Music for Commercials. “Seiko 3” comes from this release and sees Yasuaki scoring a Seiko watch commercial alongside sound designer Seigen Ono. But this seemingly shallow corporate concept betrays the deep mysticism of the music, as starlight sequences and ever-flowing chime strands descend across universal expanses. Pulsing brass pads blare out and gentle submarine pings float through the ether while breathtaking polysynth movements swell in strength…the soul floating towards a cloud paradise of unimaginable color before it all cuts away. The krautrock and kosmische inspired synth fantasias and pastoral prog dreamscapes of Inoyama Land caught the attention of Haruomi Hosono in the early 80s, whole then produced and released their stunning Danzindan-Pojidon LP. “Apple Star” comes from that album and explores sunshine minimalism as played on alien sequencers. Filtering and morphing synths dance in each ear with hypnotizing patterns of futurist psychedelia while Solina string orchestrions fly through ecstasy phasers. Hosono’s water tank delay system gives the whole track a sort of mystic sic-fi aura, as ancient earth materials are used for space age purposes. Sparkling chime strands work into the mix…these thrilling descents up and down the scale that weave fairytale polyrhythms and seascape panoramas, all while the ever pulsating keyboard patterns induce paradise trance states and interstellar string melodies swell the heart.

Like Satoshi Ashikawa, the influence of Hiroshi Yoshimura on kankyō ongaku is hard to overstate…an intrepid pioneer and cultural historian who wrote extensively about sound art and whose music found its way into “prefab model homes, train stations, public pavilions, cosmetic companies, and fashion shows,” in addition to traditional avenues of release. “Blink,” taken from Music for Nine Post Cards, is built around dreamy electric piano conversations that flow across the stereo field. Inspired by the view from Hiroshi’ss window, the music evokes cloud shadows moving over serene landscapes, hypnotic snowfall motions, grey waves crashing to shore, boats rocking gently in a paradise lagoon, the growth of grass, and the fluttering of butterfly wings. And ever so often, the hazy piano dream weavings are back by softly swelling strings and ambient orchestral gases. Cosmic prog and stoner psych legends Far East Family Band proved to be fertile breeding ground for new age music, with Kitaro, Fumio Miyashita, and Akira Ito all going on to have long careers of exploratory sonic healing. Fumio Miyashita’s “See the Light” appears here and begins within a world of soul-cleansing sonic mesmerism. Smeared out pads hover on the horizon and bass synths waltz though a forest clearing…the warm and enveloping notes moving through dew-soaked meadows while flowers open to the sunrise. As regal french horns stretch into a mystical haze, airs of Indian classical music start suffusing the harmonious drones…the track evolving into a sort of sunrise raga colored over by relaxing modulations.

As just mentioned, The Far East Family band also launched the career of new age nature healer Akira Ito, who spent a long and productive career exploring the theme of yasuragi (translated in the liner notes as “peace of mind”). “Praying for Mother / Earth Part 1” sees a Floydian space prog ceremonial hovering above a mystical river. Rick Wright-style synth brass meditations and luminescent black hole drones recall “Shine On You Crazy Diamond” while bell-tone sequences fade in and out of the galactic ether. Frogs, birds, and insects grow increasingly ecstatic while helicopter oscillations swarm within a dark sonic mist and moving towards the end, celestial pads and angel voices join together for enchanting songs of sadness. Perhaps my favorite piece here comes form Takashi Toyoda, something of a child prodigy with an incredible range as evidenced by his participation in both the New Japan Philharmonic and the Taj Mahal Travellers. In “Snow,” trance inducing minimalist patterns swim through an astral sea of dreams as flutey synth bubbles dance around dreamworld melodies of overwhelming beauty. Majestic key changes sweep the spirit away to cloud castle utopias where pure white snow falls onto the slopes of an eternal mountain....the whole thing strongly evoking Emerald Web. And the ethereal vibes of harmony are pushed over the edge by Takashi’s lonely violin fantasias while golden gloss drops of feedback descend onto the mix like shooting stars. It’s one of the most magically transportive tracks I’ve ever heard…the kind of music that could heal the world...with pure starshine flows of light and love immersing the soul.

Jazz fusion and synthesizer master Jun Fukamachi appears with “Breathing New Life,” which was originally produced to accompany a fashion show. Ritualistic drums move side to side as ceremonial metals swell. Space winds blow over bubble-synth sequences…these softly squelching dream patterns flowing beneath feedback streaks and joyous drum clatters. Marimba solos dance on tropical clouds and bring vibes of island balearica and solar fusion, while swelling choirs radiate shadow energies. And as golden glitter hazes rain over the mix, ethereal voices and epic atmospheres wrap the heart in hues of sky blue and sunset orange. The inclusion of “Loom” by Yellow Magic Orchestra is another tribute to Hideki Matsutake, as this is the only YMO song co-written by Hideki. Based around the Shepard-Risset glissando illusion, the track keeps the mind and body in a constant state of anxious anticipation as interlaced sine waves continually ascend. There is a powerful yearning for melodic alignment...some sort of heavenly convergence of harmony and sonic power and indeed such a moment eventually arrives as massive pipe-organ dronewaves fly forth and recall the score of 2001: A Space Odyssey. All the while, ping-pong balls made of electronic energy bounce through infinite hallways and as the towering organ chords recede, they leave behind a contemplative weaving of blurred synthesis, with springtide orchestrations reso-filtered into glowing phaserfluids.

Takashi Kokubo’s Get at the Wave has featured prominently on this blog, and shows up here in the form of “A Dream Sails Out to Sea - Scene 3.” Seafloor choirs diffuse through flowing ocean layers alongside aqueous pinging tones and cascading pianos. The strange asymmetrical floating motions of exotic sea-creatures are evoked by drunken tremolos and warbling delays and eventually, the pianos work into a swooning post-classical love song as long flowing chime strand intertwine with wondrous harp runs. Masahiro Sugaya’s “Umi No Sunatsubu,” like most of his recorded work, comes from a theater production by the group Pappa Tarahumara (called Zoo of the Sea). Plinking upright pianos are close mic’d, with multiple layers drifting over each other. The sounds are old and detuned with no fx or overt production tricks…just strange ivory mesmerisms moving untethered through space and time. Kankyō Ongaku ends perfectly, with an expansive polysynth solo meditation from Haruomi Hosono called “Original BGM”. Here he is…stripped free of the concepts, the ironic humors, the sort of mercurial distance he typically maintains…baring his heart and soul through warm fantasias of synthetic brass. Sometimes he dances through single note dream spells, the decaying tails wavering through balmy modulations. Other times, hovering chord clusters transitions into descending runs that seem to fall over themselves, with occasional flights into soaring resonant feedback. It’s ethereal, exploratory, and deeply entrancing…a relaxing and impressionistic rendering of the cycles of nature.

(images from my personal copy)

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