#production so much more interesting and cohesive. instead we got i can fix him (no really i can) 🫥

[loverscrossmp3]

the tortured poets department, if it was good.

[adobe-outdesign]

The Big Grand DCTL Review/Critique

In my previous liveblog I said that I’d do an overall review/rating kind of thing to summarize my thoughts on the book, so here you go.

No Spoilers: So I’ll preface by saying the book isn’t bad. It has it’s... moments, but it’s pretty enjoyable overall. The FNAF books, for example, were fun to read but they were also a hot fucking mess. This is not a hot fucking mess  - it has its flaws but it’s pretty decent over all.

Spoilers below the cut:

The Canon-ness of the Book

I would like to say first off that I really don’t think this book is meant to be 100% canon - not to say it isn’t canon, but I don’t think it’s supposed to lie up with the games perfectly.  It was approved of by Kindlybeast, but they didn’t write it - Adrienne Kress did, they just helped to develop it.

To explain better: There are a lot of contradictions in this book with the main lore. Some are more minor and could potentially be waved away, but others are extremely glaring. Here’s a short list of the ones that come to mind:

In the book, the Ink Machine is secret and almost no one knows about it. In the game everyone knows and actively complains about the machine on a daily basis. In the Employee Handbook, there’s even a memo from Joey proudly introducing the Machine to everyone.

The book claims you put ink into the Machine and it changes it in some way (effectively running on ink). In the game, it seems to produce ink itself - Joey’s memo kind of indicates this, as does the blueprints, and Wally’s “who really needs that much ink anyway” makes less sense if they’re putting ink into the machine rather than it making the ink.

Plus on Thomas’ board he has a list of the gallons of ink produced each day, with the highest amount written with exclamation points - if it ran on ink this doesn't make sense, as to get 423 gallons of ink he would’ve had to have put 423 gallons of ink into the thing to begin with.

Sammy is wildly OOC in this, as he’s basically a feral asshole throughout the thing, while in canon his merch description calls him a “decent person” and he generally seems agreeable most of the time, except for when he’s annoyed. The book even claims he doesn’t refer to women by their last names, while Susie’s tape tells us the exact opposite (as according to her he referred to Allison as “Miss Allison Pendle”).

Bertrum is also OOC in this - in canon, he’s extremely egotistical and hates Joey for multiple reasons. In the book, they’re buddies (even hugging each other) and Bertrum seems more humble. He doesn’t even correct Joey on calling him “Bertie”, when he had an entire tape about how much he dislikes being called that in the game.

The timeline for this part is also very wrong - it’s treated as if they just met (which could explain why Bertrum doesn’t dislike him yet)... but Bendyland was in progress for years before the studio went to hell, and he even has his BATDR tape (wherein he’s actively disliking Joey) dated years before this book takes place.

This also makes it kind of impossible for him to be the octopus ride like in canon, because he literally just joined the studio when Joey started killing people (and keep in mind that designing and building a ride like that would have taken at least a year or two).

The ink is, for some reason, somewhat alive, able to move around on it’s own and possess people. This was never indicated in the game, ever.

Buddy wakes up as Boris. In the game, stuff like Grant’s tape indicate the ink creatures wake up and then transform (the files even have an unused transformation tape from Wally, who’s likely our Boris). You can kind of headcanon around this one if you try though.

At the end, Norman and a few background characters die. Joey says he didn’t use the machine on them because they had been infected by the ink for too long and didn’t have souls any more. This means that, according to the book, The Projectionist cannot exist (as Norman wouldn’t have had a soul to use and Joey outright says he couldn’t/didn’t use the machine on them in the first place).

Some of these are pretty minor, but some of them are extremely glaring and even casual gamers would pick up on this stuff.

Basically, we have two options: Either Kindlybeast doesn’t know their own story/characters too well, or they didn’t require this to line up perfectly with the games. Except the first option doesn’t make sense, because they’ve recently published stuff that contradicts what’s said in this book in favor of matching the actual lore from the games, proving they do know their own story.

For ampel, Bertrum’s BATDR tape, which lines up with the game’s lore and corrects the mistakes in DCTL, was released in March - long after this book was in production. The thing about the Ink Machine being secret was also disproved in the recently-released Handbook, which instead says they employees do know about the Machine, just like they do in the game. So Kindlybeast do know these things don’t line up with canon.

I think basically they approached Adrienne and were like “hey, can you write a prequel novel based on our game?” and while they offered her some guidance, she mostly just did her own thing based off of it (she even said it felt like working on fanfiction while writing it) and Kindlybeast liked it and published it. It’s an adaptation of the game and its lore, done by a new person - things tend to change in adaptations. I don’t think they needed or cared if it lined up like puzzle pieces, they just wanted a good story, which they got. It is canon... but it’s also not, if that makes sense.

So for our intents and purposes I’d consider this semi-canon - take what you can as canon (which is most of it, as the most major contradictions also tend to be the shortest scenes) and ignore the stuff that doesn’t line up with canon, unless otherwise stated by Kindlybeast or confirmed in BATDR.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Overall, I’d say this book is about 70% good and 30% bad. When it is good, it is really, really damn good - but when it’s bad it leaves an awful taste in your mouth that’s hard to get rid of.

The Good:

Like... the majority of the book, really

Buddy and Dot are wonderful characters with strong personalities. They’re super likeable, bring some much-needed heart into things, and have great chemistry.

While some of the aforementioned characters are majorly OOC, the ones that are in-character (Joey and Norman are good examples) are amazing - every scene with them is gold and the book really fleshes out their personalities.

Some of the new lore tidbits are great, and help explain some things in the game (like how Lost Ones are created) or are just interesting (like Sammy drinking the ink and the idea of the ink being able to infect people, which sounds like something that could have directly come from the games).

The book goes into way more depth about what being a cartoon/ink creature is like, which is some much-needed exposition and is extremely interesting.

It also has a ton of heart and good intentions. I was worried about it being overly dark, but if anything it has far more sweet moments than depressing ones.

The Bad:

The contradictions I mentioned above. Some of them are easy enough to ignore, but some are incredibly jarring and take you out of the story (and make it impossible to take it as 100% canon without breaking the space-time continuum).

I kind of mentioned it above, but the stuff with the ink being alive and possessing people comes right the fuck out of nowhere, has nothing to do with the game lore, is completely tonally dissonant to BATIM as a whole, and literally has nothing to do with the plot of the book, like, at all. It feels like a few pages from a Venom novel got mixed in with the early draft and no one remembered to remove them before publication.

The racist shit - it’s only like 1% of the book, but when that 1% of the book ruins a really good character it’s a pretty big deal.

A random NPC dies for no reason and this death has more relevance to the plot than Norman, who dies off-screen.

Also consider: They could’ve found Norman first, Buddy runs off to get back to his house, Norman follows and gets killed via neck snap. Fixes both problems at once.

There’s very little tension during the horror moments because we already know Buddy will die but not until the end and that Dot will live.

The Ink Demon acts more like an xenomorph than the Ink Demon in this - his behavior is bizarre and it feels pretty generically horror movie monster-ish compared to how he acts in the game.

The Ugly:

The B-plot with Buddy’s grandfather should have been cut. I know that sounds harsh, but really think about it: what effect did it have on the plot? It only crosses with the A-plot twice, and both times nothing came out of it. It gives Buddy a chance to learn how to draw and he goes through some character development, but I find it hard to believe that couldn’t have been accomplished by expanding the A-plot.

The main problem is that A) this is a BATIM novel so we want to see the studio, not Buddy’s relatives at home, and B) it makes it kind of slow towards the middle, wherein the stuff with the studio barely progresses while we keep cutting back to the B-plot.

I didn’t dislike reading it or anything, but it makes the plot flabby, and slicing it out would’ve given us much more time in the studio and the characters we like rather than trying to juggle two plots at once, effectively streamlining it and making for a more cohesive story.

The ending (like the last 5 chapters) is a hot mess in multiple and varying ways:

Sammy shows up and... gets knocked out by a projector. Which is funny, but it amounts to nothing plot-wise and makes Sammy’s whole appearance kind of pointless

Killing off a bunch of characters, one of which was a main character, off-screen

The weird Venom shit that has nothing to do with the plot of the books or the games and amounts to nothing

Bendy acting fairly OOC, especially with how he goes about killing people 

Buddy grabs the idiot ball bard by trying to drown a creature made of ink in ink, then standing right near the spot so he can be grabbed and killed

Not only does the “can’t use them because they had been infected for too long and no longer had souls” thing not only raises the aforementioned plot hole with the Projectionist, but it raises a plot hole in the book itself: When the other are exposed to the ink they die, but when Sammy drinks the stuff he turns into a Lost One. Which one is it?

Keep in mind that that was more bullet points in those 30-some pages than I have for the entire rest of the book

There are only like... two actual horror scenes in the book, and one of those is the climax. While it makes sense that too much couldn’t have happened before the ending, it feels like there could have been more than that.

Not all of the characters from the games appear. I know it’s a tall ask but it’s also easy to see how they could have been integrated, and some of them could have easily taken the roles that were given to NPCs instead.

I feel like this book would be more engaging as a non-fan, as the plot tends to progress like a mystery, with you learning a bit more about what’s happening with every scene in the studio... except as a fan you already know what’s happening, so there’s little to keep you engaged until you get into that nice juicy lore at the end.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s lots of little details that tell us new info and the character interactions are great, but a lot of the scenes are just like “Surprise, Sammy is crazy!” and it’s like thanks, we already knew that. The mystery is supposed to build and move the plot forward, but there’s effectively no mystery.

Overall Rating

I’m worried this review is going to come across as overly negative, as it’s much easier to critique what’s wrong than it is to say “this part was good!” like 200 times. But all of the stuff I was talking about that’s an issue? That’s like... 30% of the book, maybe less. Some of the most problematic scenes you could literally remove and loose nothing plot-wise (which is frustrating but you know). The bulk of the book is very good, the lore stuff when handled correctly is amazing and it even provides some extra answers that we didn’t have before, and the characters are great.

Overall, I’d give the book a solid... 7/10, I think. Not perfect, but pretty damn decent all around. If you’re a fan, I’d highly recommend picking up a copy if you haven't already.

[nebulawriter]

Justice League

So I feel like there are a lot of movies I’ve seen and not reviewed but honestly thats mostly because I feel like I can’t say anything that hasn’t been said about things like Thor Ragnarok or Ninjago. Maybe I’ll get to it. Sorry, just...lot of writing projects. 

But for Justice League....It’s a very subjective film. More than most. I can understand why people would say they loved the movie. I can understand why people would say they hate it. 

As for me I’d rated it certainly my 2nd favorite of the DCEU so far next to Wonder Woman, and....If you were thinking of going to see it anyway, know that its not as bad as a lot of its reviews. If you were hesitant to see it, or whatever, I’d recommend sitting this one out, maybe give it a rent once its out on DVD. 

The thing about Justice League is that while it is clearly and obviously flawed, its flaws come in a few different categories. 1) Its not this movie’s fault, really 2) Coming off the messy production history of the film itself or 3) Wasn’t really that bad but could have done with another refurbishing. So thats what we’re going to discuss. 

Category 1) Not this movie’s fault. Its in fact, Batman vs. Superman’s fault. No matter your opinion on that, which, if you’re curious about a super in depth look on it I’d recommend watching Really That Bad by Bob Chipman but we’re not talking about that right now. What we’re discussing is the premise of Justice League. 

The premise is based off the fact that now that Superman’s dead everything’s awful. Which. I just. In BvS it was clear that Superman’s existence was controversial at best. And that he’d only been a real hero for about 2 years. TWO YEARS. And thats just not enough to make me believe that his loss meant that everything was terrible NOW. but, this could have been fixed if BvS did its job so I don’t blame this movie completely. But they could have gotten around it. 

Category 2) If you’re not familiar with the production history, short-short version: Zack Snyder was supposed to direct it, then had to leave for tragic family reasons, then Joss Whedon finished it up by reshooting things and recoloring and yadda yadda. 

The result is....kinda a frankenstein’s monster of a movie. Like, if you are familiar with the two director’s style, you can see where one leaves off and another picks up (Especially with re-shoot Henry Cavill’s cgi lip). And...it’s okay....mostly. but some scenes were MADE to be in Snyder’s style and then...were edited to turn into Whedon’s and....ehhh?? its weird. 

Whatever your opinions on Joss Whedon, the changes, I have to admit, are...better. They’re at least more colorful and...I dunno he stuck in some human stories trying to care about the people who got saved so. Thats a thing. 

Category 3) Most scenes were like...so close to being good but could have been chiseled down to make something more cohesive, more of an arc, more HEART to it. Like, what if when Superman returned he had to like, learn about superman is and we could have a collection of him going through articles of who he was as he regains his memory and regains his humanity, his human-ism. 

What if at the end we had Wonder Woman giving orders to people, giving them specific jobs, therefore stepping up into the role of leader?

What if there was more about Batman saving people and actually learning FROM Superman, and about him deciding he can be a hero just like Superman, but he doesn’t need all the powers, thus recapturing who he was as a hero. 

Flash, Aquaman, and Cyborg didn’t so much have arcs which I’m....kinda fine with because I’d rather see more of that in their own movies, but what if there was like, a SCENE where it showed that the three of them and the big three were a TEAM. They’re FRIENDS they’re TOGETHER, a unit a whatever else. 

What if Superman didn’t do EVERYTHING in the finale, and instead did like. One really important thing, thus proving the need for the team

What if Patty Jenkins was brought in to direct the scene on Themyscira so it isn’t terrible.

What if they stopped filming upshots of Gal Gadot’s butt that make me want to die. 

LITTLE things really. Just to make it a bit better. Just to bring it together. 

and thats the great thing about Justice League. That’s what I mean that it’s not BAD. It may be a frankenstein’s monster, but it has a SKELETON. It makes SENSE. Which is more than what I can say for 3/4 DCEU movies so far. 

There is a category 4 which is honest to god what were they thinking, and that category has one contestant: The Villain. ACDC over here somehow manages to be worse than all of Marvel’s villains. Good ole Van Helsing is so bland, so generic, he makes fucking RONAN from Guardians of the Galaxy look like the most interesting and complex character I’ve ever seen. Fucking Metallica’s  generic insect-y minions are so bland and badly designed they make the Dark Elves from Thor 2 look like an impressive army. There is absolutely nothing interesting about Black Sabbath, he looks like he stepped out of World of Warcraft and acts like Doctor Fucking Doofenshmirtz. Mr. Guns & Roses over here just keeps talking about how how EVIL he is and no one cares and his main goal was stolen full-scale from Man of Steel (MAN OF STEEL?!) and maybe can only be rivaled by Enchantress from Suicide Squad in his terribleness. 

Is it good? ehhhhh. Its fine. It’s fun, sometimes, and it does make me excited for the spinoffs like Aquaman and Flash and Cyborg and the various other hero movies. so, in that sense, it did what it was meant to do. 

Is it bad? not really. Certainly not worth its rotten tomatoes score. It’s fine. It’s even funny, a lot (I did like the flash’s jokes, a lot of people didn’t but I did.)

TL;DR if you don’t wanna watch it, don’t, but you SHOULD watch the mid-credit scene with Flash and Superman race. Only really important thing. 

[flynnspeaks]

“Frozen” Thoughts

Just got back from my trip and can finish this up from my drafts. Spoilers abound:

So tl;dr thought: Script is basically good, production bad. I think the show, script-wise, is 80% there but it needs some major changes to work effectively as a piece of theatre.

General stuff: - The only things outright cut from the film are Marshmallow, the icepickers, “Heimr Arnadalr” (replaced with a new coronation hymn) and “Frozen Heart” (which is still quoted in the show?? Like at one point a character literally says “born of cold and winter air”, so I don’t know why it’s missing). Every other song and character is represented. - The trolls are changed into sorta mystical ‘mountain folk’, and made into the narrators of the piece (I kinda felt this would happen--the movie has two options for a sort of greek chorus, the icepickers and the trolls. IMO they picked the wrong one). - Lots of new songs - Heavy ensemble--several new numbers incorporate them heavily, and they’re added to “Let it Go” (offstage voices) and “First Time in Forever”

The Good: - Two new songs are excellent additions to the score--a poppy Kristoff/Anna duet called “What Do You Know About Love” and an Act II solo for Elsa called “Monster” (insert Nicki Minaj joke here). The rest of the score isn’t nearly as memorable and there are times where it feels like you’re waiting for a movie number to happen, but it’s still for the most part good. - The score feels a lot more unified than the film--I know people complained about the songs in the film feeling sorta disjointed stylistically, and though that’s not a complaint I subscribed to the whole thing is a lot more cohesive here, both in terms of orchestration, in what the linking material is able to do, and the use of the ensemble. - Speaking of improvements over the film, “Fixer Upper” is vastly better. It loses a verse, and they’ve reorchestrated it to be more rhythmic, fitting with the other musical material the mountain folk get in the show. It’s far less jarring and far less annoying than in the film. - Both Hans and Kristoff get a lot more to do, which is good--less so for Hans, but we’ll talk about that later. - Sven is accomplished really well in an elaborate costume that sorta recalls Lion King but in a more ‘realistic’ vein. It’s very fun to watch, with one drawback--he blinks, and it’s really creepy for some reason. - The climax is really well-staged. It is also the only moment in the show that’s really well-staged, but we’ll get to that. - There were two families on either side of me both with little girls who seemed to be really enjoying the show. That doesn’t actually have anything to do with the show but it was nice. The Eh: - I was actually expecting some of the cut songs featured on the album would be used (”We Know Better”, “Spring Pageant”, “Life’s Too Short”), and they ended up not utilizing any of them. Which wouldn’t be a bad thing except that it often felt like those would’ve functioned better in the show than the songs they actually used--like, the opening number isn’t bad by any means, but it’s probably the weakest number in Act I and isn’t anywhere near as good as what a rewritten “We Know Better” probably would’ve been. “Life’s Too Short” is an interesting one, because I think it was definitely wrong for the moment in the film, but something about where the Anna/Elsa confrontation happens in the stage version feels like it desperately needed that number instead of the “Forever” reprise. - There’s dance breaks added to “Love is an Open Door” and “Fixer Upper”, and they’re not, like, awful, but they’re just sorta there. Here’s a thought: why not dance during the song? - The tone is really slippery in the first half of Act I. I’m probably misremembering, but I don’t remember Anna being this jokey as a kid in the film. It gets better as it goes on (either that or I’m Stockholmed into it by then), but they never quite reconcile the classic fairy-tale stuff with the more modern sensibility, and it jars constantly. - The finale is ok, but also just sort of there. They end on “Love is an Open Door”, which works better than it sounds but is also a really odd song to end on (like, why not just close with a “Vuelie” reprise?) - They try and justify the title of the show in one of the lyrics and it kinda really doesn’t work

The Bad: - Okay, let’s get the worst out of the way: The Act II opening number is the absolute worst piece of garbage I have ever seen committed to the musical stage. It’s an extended comic setpiece called “Hygge” featuring Kevin del Aguila as Oaken (the “Yoo Hoo!” guy, who only appears in this scene) explaining what ‘hygge’ means to the audience, done as a polka. With a chorus in the nude. The entire song exists only to get Anna out of the winter gear she’s wearing into the recognizable winter gear from the film. The audience clearly lost patience with the number halfway through. The song ends with the chorus doing a kickline in the nude with fig leaves covering their privates. It had better fucking be cut before Broadway. - Olaf. Olaf Olaf Olaf. Starting with the script, he’s for some reason far more grating here than in the film, and I think it’s because he’s being written as an iconic character rather than the simply sweet innocent he was in the film. “In Summer” is towards the end of Act I, which is absolutely the wrong place for it--by this point the show becomes a waiting game for “Let it Go” and the song is only an irritating distraction in that context (it clearly needs to open Act II, but we saw how that went). Olaf also gets a second comedic number in Act II that just doesn’t work. It’s not “Hygge” levels of awfulness, but it just falls flat and again feels like a distraction. And then there’s the performance. - Okay, this is gonna be its own bullet point. So the actor himself is fine, but he’s stuck doing a Josh Gad impersonation and can’t really make it his own. But they have Olaf be a puppet, Avenue Q-style with the actor operating him from behind, and it is awful. First off he’s designed to look exactly like the CGI model, which jars immensely with the look of the entire rest of the show. And the puppet itself is actively bad--horribly inexpressive, and the mouth doesn’t appear to actually be able to close all the way??? At first I thought the actor just wasn’t a very good puppeteer but at some point in the show the actress playing Anna has to operate the puppet and the issue persists, so you’re left with this mouth that can only close partway and it looks baaaaaaaad. - Hans. Okay, so I was actually expecting them to do something with the twist--the thing is that worked immensely well in the film, but is also kind of a one-trick pony and in all likelihood the entire audience of the show is going to know the twist going in. So with that I was expecting them to either reveal it a lot sooner, so the audience knows what’s up before Anna does, or else reverse it entirely. Instead it plays out exactly as it does in the film, with the added wrinkle that a considerable amount of material has been added to make Hans more trustworthy and likeable, which makes the twist feel facile and contrived. More than anywhere else this is the spot that needed to be different from the film, and the fact it stayed the same reveals a lot about the show’s priorities. - The set is actually awful. All projections and drops, and very little in the way of actual interactive pieces. It honestly felt like a national tour set--not something you would put together for Broadway. And the “special effects” are laughable--a few moments where they have actual ice shards in the set that are kinda cool, but for the most part Elsa does elaborate hand gestures and they project a swirl of ice on the set. The dress transformation is fun, but the rest of it feels honestly cheap as hell (especially since this really feels like a show that would sell itself on special effects work). - The set being bad impacts the direction, which often has no idea what to do with its actors and leaves the ensemble aimlessly wandering in the background. The staging is bland and lifeless--occasionally enlivened when it’s able to copy directly from the film, but usually staid (”Love is an Open Door” is literally, like, walking. It’s bad). - More than anything you get the feeling this is a production that aims for little more than slavishly recreating the film, and it ends up feeling like something you’d see at Disneyland rather than actually on Broadway. I don’t think the script is bad--it’s got really bad moments, but will probably be fixed pretty well in time for Bway--but this needed a director like Taymor that could make it feel like its own thing. As is...I mean, it’s a Disney show. Maybe it’s expecting too much for it to be theatrically interesting, but damn I really wish it was.

Ultimately this isn’t a show that’s going to change your mind about the film. If you liked the film, you’ll likely at least enjoy the show (though I loved the film and thought this was merely allright, so YMMV), if you don’t like the movie you probably won’t enjoy this very much. Hopefully the script issues that exist will be fixed by Bway, and with luck it won’t be long after that when the licensing opens up--honestly the best possible production of this would be with a smaller company that wouldn’t be obligated to recreate the film but could do their own thing, treating the material seriously on its own. Until then, it looks like this is what we got, and I can’t say right now that it’s gonna be worth your time outside of what will probably be a pretty great cast album.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

HERE'S WHAT I JUST REALIZED ABOUT BREAKUP

There's nothing dishonest about this. In a few days beforehand, I'll sometimes play it safe. Or how about Perl 4? For example, when I grew up, and they don't see evidence of specific abuses unless they go looking for ideas. The default euphemism for algorithm is system and method. One of his most admirable qualities was that he did all the legal work of getting personal introductions. Up till a few years of being told what to do. Instead of building stuff to throw away some early work. You'd understand your users.

I'm not saying you can get. They call the things that makes the product good. I'm not proposing that you can stop treading water. You can't prevent great variations in wealth would mean eliminating startups. And because Lisp was so high-level language? So we made some basic mistakes early on. To protect such sites, and to be good at what they try to be imaginative about the second as well as economic cohesion, its breakup brought social as well as they were with desktop computers.

Though they may have useful insights. So steam engines spread fast. Does succinctness power? The first thing one notices is is how tiny the pages are. One consequence of funding such a large number of high-level language. Fathers tended to adopt the attitude of a governess: they try to force you to treat a startup as a way to fix that. Smile at everyone, and assume good things will probably get better. Startups don't seem to matter very much in software is public opinion—or who might buy a copy later, when he got interested in, you'll have no trouble with the government for anti-competitive policies were doing more harm than good.

Although your product may not be to write a novel, for example, if you want to know what sort of work they're going to build, no matter when you're talking, parallel computation seems to be such a great thing that Apple tablets have accelerometers in them. During the 1992 election, the Clinton campaign staff had a big sign in their office—that's starting to sound like a bizarre idea, but they don't seem to have a book published by O'Reilly. This was roughly true. We told him we'd fund him if he did something else. I felt like an explorer witnessing some bizarre tribal ritual. The difficulty of firing people is a drop in the bucket by immigration standards, but would represent a huge increase in individuals' ability to create wealth, but corruption. And erring on the side of the river. I'll be rich. I once had to leave a board meeting, rather than by, say, that quote is from someone we funded this summer.