#production is slow BUT they should be done by next week

[robinwonder9]

Tell me why your art is so GOOD??

you deserve all the love you can get, my friend..

<33333333333333333333333333333333333

like seriously.. you do.

THANK YOU!!!! :3 this means more than you'll ever know! <333

im so glad you like it!! idk if i can answer that question x3 i guess i like high contrast and chiaroscuro so that bleeds into my work a lot!! ;3

[bumblequinn]

hi @sourpatchsquids! thank you for your question.

as an artist with ADHD, i know this struggle very well. unfortunately offering advice on this kind of thing can be tricky, because what works for me may not work for you (and vice versa!). nonetheless, i can try; take whatever works for you, forget the rest, or reshape any part of it as you see fit. :)

but before i offer any actual tools, i have one caveat. i want you to take a moment to reflect and consider if you should be:

changing expectations

the timing of this question seems fated, because just the other day i had a therapy session wherein i expressed my grief and frustration over struggling to work lately due to my seasonal depression. it's not fair that i'm struggling just because it got a little darker outside! i just want the spark i had in the summer! i was so much more consistent!

my therapist's response: nothing about human beings is consistent. we get sick, we get tired, we get hungry and thirsty (and thirsty) and sad and lonely and restless and stressed and overwhelmed. this all gets amplified for folks who are atypical in some way or another.

when my therapist compared our seasonal cycles to those of plants and other animals, who wilt and slow down and hibernate, i protested aloud that i wanted to be a perennial instead. at this she said: even perennials change with the seasons. rose bushes have to be pruned, sometimes down to half their height! it was a dose of perspective i didn't particularly want, but really needed.

so when you're struggling to work through executive dysfunction, burnout, or brain fog, it can help to first check in with yourself about a few things. what do you have the capacity for right now? do you need any accommodation? and if so, what changes you might make to accommodate yourself?

with practice and self reflection, i've learned a handful of specific routines that help me when i'm struggling with creative work, which i'll detail next. note that while your question is specifically about music and i am specifically a musician, i believe that all of these suggestions can apply to most any form of digital creative work.

with that in mind:

#1: work slower

when i'm at the top of my game, i can get a LOT done in a day. but when i'm depressed, fatigued, or distracted, i just can't go full steam. sometimes i'll try to convince myself that i can if i just push harder, but what actually ends up happening is that i'm just fiddling with settings and going in circles rather than moving forward.

instead of that, when i want to work a lot but can't, i try to work slow. how slow? however slow i need to. take four hours to figure out the melody for a single verse. take all day to figure out that drum groove. yeah, i take a lot of breaks in between. who says i have to be my Absolute Most Productive Every Day Or Else? that's the puritan work ethic talking. kill it. be kind to yourself.

i'm reminded of advice i once read about some super successful and prolific author (gaiman? king? pratchett?) who said they wrote only four hundred words every weekday. that's already less than the word count of this post, and i'm only—[travels into the future to check my final word count]... 22.8% of the way through writing it!

now, i don't think i could function that way, because ADHD means some days i'm hyperfocused like crazy, and other days i just have no steam at all (more on that in #4-6). but it seems to me that if even someone highly respected in their profession can achieve what they have with only a little bit of work on a regular basis, maybe i don't have to punish myself for not pumping out a finished work every single week.

doing less work per day means you're much less likely to burn out, which does a lot for working more consistently. if that consistency still doesn't look like a five-day work week, that's okay! as long as it helps you work even a little more often when you want to, it's something worth doing.

however, if you're still feeling truly stuck, all hope isn't lost. you can still try:

#2: switch projects

sometimes the reason i'm moving slow is because of a bad brain day, but sometimes the reason is that i just cannot muster the motivation to do the specific task i'm trying to do right now. ADHD is fueled by novelty and interest, and if i'm not interested in what i'm doing, or it's feeling stale, that's a sign that i need to switch gears.

this is why first it's helpful for me to have more than one project going at a time. this might mean completely unrelated works, or it might just mean related tracks as with the music for a game like SLARPG or susan taxpayer.

the idea here is not to start a dozen different projects and bounce around them like i'm playing whac-a-mole—though i have done that. (i don't recommend it.) the idea here is to have a manageable number of different projects i can be working on so that if i get bored or stuck on something, i have fallback options.

what that number of projects is depends entirely on the week. maybe right now it's two, maybe another time it's three. i would probably be getting carried away if i tried more than that, but that's just my own limit. maybe yours is different. that's something for you to think about.

but it doesn't have to stop there.

#3: switch focus

maybe there is this one project that i just HAVE to work on, but the task i'm trying to do at this stage just isn't coming to me. okay, well, why don't i try working on a different task?

let's say i can't figure out what i want to do with the melody in one part of the song:

what if i try jumping ahead to a different part of the melody? ...no, i'm stumped on melodies today. okay, how about working on the drums instead? ...hmm no, i think i'm just completely tapped out on writing parts right now. alright, what if i organized my tracks, making sure they're all grouped and named in a way that i can work with easily? what if i did a rough volume balance for the mix?

and so on. if that's not enough to shake the off stuckness, i might consider: what can i do to make this project more interesting to me?

what happens if i try using an instrument or effect that i almost never reach for? what if i try sampling something obscure? what if i bang out the drums using my midi keyboard instead of drawing it in on the piano roll?

any approach that breaks me out of my usual habits is bound to get that feeling of novelty and fun back when i need it.

or maybe i can't do any of that right now, and so i take the time to answer a question from a fellow musician instead. i consider that part of my work, too, in a broader sense. check in with yourself and figure out what you can do right now. the rest will still be there later.

but okay, let's say you try switching gears, and switching again, and again, and nothing is moving. you try new approaches, but that wall of awful is insurmountable in this moment. it happens! the next thing you might try is:

#4: learn something new

when you aren't able to make progress on your projects, you can still make progress on your knowledge and craft. i often find this stokes a flame of inspiration in me where there wasn't one before. and even when it doesn't, it still gets my brain out of that feeling of stuckness and dread and into one of thought and action. learning also benefits in the long term because it adds to the well of knowledge from which you draw for all your future works.

for all the awfulness that exists on the internet, it remains an absolute treasure trove of teaching. there's an endless ocean of videos, blog posts, and articles from which you might learn something about your craft. (and if you sail the seven seas, plenty of book PDFs as well. 🦜🏴‍☠️)

it's true that the quality and depth of information out there can vary wildly, but in my experience most resources get at least some things right. and the more you research, practice, and figure out what works for you, the better you will learn to differentiate between the advice worth keeping, and the advice to forget. (that goes for all of what i'm saying here, too!)

that said, since our shared focus is music, a few resources i would highly recommend are:

music theory and composition music matters, 12tone, charles cornell, music with myles, 8-bit music theory, and this introduction by andrew huang

mixing and production dan worrall (especially this series for fabfilter), kush after hours, red means recording, andrew huang, alice yalcin efe, in the mix

general inspiration nahre sol, ben levin, david hilowitz, game score fanfare, posy, jerobeam fenderson, open reel ensemble, and ELECTRONICOS FANTASTICOS!

(if any readers have their own helpful resources for creating music or any other media, feel free to share in the replies & reblogs! 💓)

of course, on an especially bad day, it might be a challenge to seek out information, let alone retain it. that can feel pretty bad, but remember: be kind to yourself. the next thing you might consider trying is:

#5: consume art you love

not just music. books. shows. movies. games. illustration. animation. whatever moves and inspires you.

but do it intentionally. don't just pull up some random thing the algorithm suggested! check in with yourself about what you want (or are able) to engage with right now. choose accordingly. if you get a little way into it and realize it's not scratching that itch, hit the bricks. check in with yourself again. wash, rinse, repeat, until you find whatever it is that speaks to you right now.

and do it actively, if you can. don't just let it go in one eye and out the other! really pay attention to the work. what do you like about it? what are its themes and motifs? what makes it work so well? what are its flaws, and how much do they matter? what might you do differently? you can write notes as you do this if it helps, but even simply noticing and thinking goes a long way.

what you don't want to do is come at this with a lens of shame or envy. you're not here just to say to yourself, "ugh, if only i could do THAT." it's okay if it happens. use that thought as a springboard for curiosity: "well okay, how DID they do that? do i have the resources for it? if so, how could i apply that to my own work? if not, how can i adapt it, or what do i need to learn?" keep your mind open and approach the work with a sense of wonder.

as a creative person, it's very easy to think, "i should be making something right now, not watching a movie!" but that thought forgets something vital: your art is a response in a conversation. of course the "language" you use is your own, and maybe if you're lucky you'll invent a new word. but most of the words you use have been around long before you were born. you're just one voice in a dialogue that spans continents and generations, and that's okay. it's even the whole point.

none of us is an island. we are profoundly social animals. just as we can't live without eating, we can't make without learning. so half of making art is consuming it. consider this part of the process as well.

and finally,

#6: rest, and live your life

let's say you're in really dire straits. you've tried working slower. you tried changing focus, you tried changing projects. you want to take in new information or actively engage with your favorite art, but you're not in the headspace for it. what now?

take a nap. take a walk. take a shower. eat a nice meal, or an okay one. talk to a friend. maybe even do that chore you've been putting off (you know the one).

it's human to always crave making, but you're not a machine—and even if you were, machines need regular maintenance, too! you wouldn't drive a car that's completely out of gas, and you won't do yourself any favors treating your body that way either.

i know that when you take a break it feels as though you're not accomplishing anything, but you are: you're taking care of your animal self. and while you do that, your creative brain doesn't stop working! much like windows, it has countless background processes running at any given moment, with inscrutable names like "cbdhsvc_692da" or "Microsoft Edge Update Service." it's true, i checked.

when you're stuck on a project and you step away to rest, your brain is still chipping away at your ideas unconsciously. i like to tell people, "it's percolating." much like waiting for a pot of water to boil, that idea is still heating up, even when you take a step away. just be sure to check in on it once in a while. the time will pass, and it'll be boiling again before long. :)

before i go, i'll leave you with one last thing to keep in mind as you try all of these strategies:

be kind to yourself.

being human is just about one of the hardest things you can do. let alone being a human trying to survive capitalism while living with disabilities! the last thing you need on top of that is to overwork yourself, talk to yourself negatively, or treat yourself harshly. there are plenty of other people in the world who do that to you—don't be one of them.

i'm not saying that you shouldn't try to challenge yourself, to test your limits and go above and beyond your ambitions, if that's what you want to do. just remember that hard work and self compassion are not mutually exclusive. so be careful not to bully yourself. take pride in the progress you make, even when it seems small. encourage yourself like you would a friend who's going through a hard time. and when you challenge yourself, be your own cheerleader.

i hope you find this advice helpful! remember, this is just what helps me, so don't feel like you have to follow any of it exactly. maybe taking time to learn new information helps break you out of your rut more than working slowly, so you reach for that tool first. maybe having multiple projects going at once is too distracting for you, so you prefer to stick to one at a time. whatever your needs are, feel free to alter and adapt these ideas to fit you.

thank you for reading, and i wish you the best of luck in your creating.

with care, bee 🐦

[sillygoosealert]

How about Smoke being a doctor and his patient is the reader and they have feelings for each other?

Yes sweet pea, I love this idea 🎀

trust the process, is it a little weird? Yeah, but I had a vivid vision. Also, this isn’t really how these visits go lol, and this story doesn't make sense but it's okay because you guys have sex

Are you allowed to be this close ?? (。·o·。)ﾉ

AFAB reader, female reader, you clean up nice because you're scared to make a bad impression, the whole thing’s sexual I could stop I'm sorry, VIRGIN LOSER (both of you)

You have to go to the gynecologist - for a check up

You've done this before, but it doesn't make you feel less nervous

You clean up, shower, and wear your cutest bra and panties- not fancy or dull. A cute white pair with a pink bow on top. Keeping it classy

You spray yourself down with perfume, then you head off

When you walk in it's clean and smells of sanitation products , mm..

You walk up to the front, and you're guided to a room and you wait

A man with short grey hair comes in and closes the door behind him

‘Hello miss, how are you doing’

‘I’m fine..how are you?’A heads-up that it was a guy would be nice

‘I’m alright. If you want to go ahead and lay down for me and talk about why you’re here we can get started’ Next he’s going to tell you to take off your pants and cough for him.

You do as you are told and tell him you’re just here for your annual check-up

‘Alright, go ahead and take your pants off for me’

You slip them off and he just stares at your panties, for a lot longer than he should have

He rubs his face, which now has a tint of pink and he puts on some gloves

‘Alright, I'm going to go ahead and make sure everything looks alright and feels fine..’ He's starting to breathe hard, this might be his first time-or he's just nervous

‘Okay..’

He keeps your panties on but slides the part keeping your pussy hidden aside

You're burning up, he starts to put his fingers inside you

‘Can you take two or do you need me to go slow..?’ sorry?

‘Sorry?’

‘I just- I'm sorry, I don't want to accidentally hurt you..’ oh, yeah, that makes more sense

‘I can handle two, it's fine’

He shutters, sliding two of his fingers in and out as soft slapping noises fill the room

You softly grip the parchment paper you're lying on and breathe a little faster

‘Does that feel fine..?’ he's leaning closer to your ear, making you hum and nod

He starts to move his fingers deeper and in different spots

When he hits your G-spot, you bury your head in his shoulder and gently moan in soft breaths

‘That's..that's fine too, right?’

‘Feels good..’ you have one hand on his shoulder now, the other on the arm he's fingering you with

He rubs your clit with his thumb and kisses your neck, asking if you have any discomfort or pain with this- you answer no, of course

He pulls away his fingers, gets down, and puts his nose on your clit

He starts to thrust his tongue in and out of you, reaching the same spots as he did with his fingers but it feels..better

You grip his hair and whimper, mumbling incoherent praises and pleas

Then you climax on him, squirting and soaking his face and neck

He is, of course, thankful and licks it up, squeezing your thighs a little

He settles his bulge on you- and you get a little nervous

‘I haven't.. I'm not- this is my first time..’

‘It's okay, I'll take care of you..’

‘Okay..’

He pulls his pants down enough and as he takes it out, he delicately takes off your panties

Slipping in the tip, he puts an arm around you and keeps you close

It slowly makes its way in you, a thick stretch, but it’s mainly lengthy

He humps into you, holding you with one hand, rubbing your clit with the other

He's pounding into you at this point, bringing you both so close

He bites your neck as he finishes, making you climax too

as you both calm down, he pulls out, stuffs his leaking seed back into you, and helps you dress

‘Everything is fine, but I would come back in a couple of weeks just to make sure..’

‘Okay..will you be my doctor again..?’

‘If you want me to I can be, I'll take care of your appointment. Take care, and get home safe, please..’

With that you leave, maybe you should come more often- for your own health of course

AH AHHAHHHHHAHGWVEVWVVVV HHHHHHH AHHHHH AHHH 🎀

[physalian]

Physalian's Top 10 Narrative Pet Peeves

*For now*

In one way or another, these all boil down to “Author took a shortcut and I absolutely noticed”. In other words, most of these stem from Manufactured Sincerity.

All of these come with the caveat of *except when done well*. I’m ordering these from “I’m annoyed but I’ll get over it” to “Nope, DNF”. 

10. Sad times = Alcohol

Everyone drinks when they’re depressed apparently. Only women or fat men are allowed to eat away their sorrows with ice cream and guilty pleasures. No one’s allowed to go on a self-pity shopping spree. No one just goes to bed.

They drink. Or they go shoot something. Or punch a wall. It’s usually out of a flask or a crystal decanter. It’s usually whisky (specifically bourbon) or scotch, or something out of a brown paper bag.

Maybe this is my own bias as someone who does not drink, but writers, please come up with more diverse ways to show your character is mourning someone or something, beyond immediately heading straight for the alcohol. Not everyone likes liquor, not everyone owns a decanter set and crystal glasses.

Let them eat or shop or sleep or get high, or watch their favorite show or a really sad movie or listen to emotional music. Let them cry if they’re bad boys. Don’t make them punch walls.

9. Down time = Sexy Times

This applies of course only to narratives with implicit or explicit sex scenes and what I mean by down time is those situations where characters are either on the run or have some crucial deadline to meet, some race to win, what have you, and the second they get some time to breathe and have a heart to heart, they both let their guard down and ignore impending doom and sleep together.

If you’re in the real world and you are that stressed for any of the reasons above, you’re going to be constantly looking over your shoulder, worrying about what you’re going to do next, wondering if you should even stop to rest, not be dead on your feet but have enough energy to bang.

Obviously if it’s played for humor, that’s different, but in dramas, or especially in environments not suited for intimacy (looking at you fantasy and sci-fi) it just feels ridiculous and particularly gratuitous. Non-aces please tell me if this is a legit thing you would do, I sincerely want to know.

It also tends to happen with near strangers who’ve only known each other for several days, possibly weeks with little buildup, and they also tend to be at each other’s throats bickering incessantly. Save the sex for after you’ve won and can really dedicate all your attention to enjoying it.

8. Pointless Filler Pit Stops

Or ones that last way too long for no reason. I love filler, but only *productive* filler. It doesn’t have to service the plot, but it does have to develop at least one character, a relationship, the lore, somebody’s backstory, or be really funny and/or interesting to sit through.

Usually, it feels like it’s there to pad the run time or slow the pacing, but rarely does anything for the overall story. A fair bit of season one of ATLA is filler pit stops, but even when they go to all these random places for one-off adventures, the story is still showing us the world they live in, making it a teachable moment, introducing important characters, foreshadowing, or is just mighty entertaining to watch.

ATLA has only one pointless filler pit stop: the infamous Great Divide. It doesn’t positively develop any of the main trio, we never see these side characters again, Aang’s story is a complete lie so it doesn’t develop the lore or the world, and, most importantly, it’s just frustrating to watch. Your first job as a writer is to entertain, and this episode is annoying.

7. Fridged Character Motivation

I don’t mind the “fridged lady love” inherently. It’s a quick and dirty way to give your brooding hero backstory and everyone is familiar with it. I’m annoyed at how it’s the only nuance these characters tend to get, like this man’s dead wife/girlfriend/dog is his sole motivation for everything he does in life and all his goals.

I like broody badasses. I don’t like one-note broody badasses. His character existed before he met his dead love interest. Who was he back then? Does he have any friends who hate the man he’s become? Old mentors who’ve lost their faith in him?

This man’s arc is usually not even therapy-via-violence to get over his dead wife, it’s just a ham-fisted excuse to make him mean and short-tempered. Who is he, unrelated to this fridged character?

6. Dumbass Villains

The villain has captured the hero and friends and plans some dastardly torture to break their will. The villain has all their tools prepared and monologues about how easy it’s going to be, and the hero usually says something along the lines of “you can’t break me” or “I can take it,” whatever. And after several pages or minutes of screen time, the hero’s right, and then the villain breaks out plan B: The hero’s love interest, or their parents, who have just been waiting in the wings.

Why is this almost never plan A? The hero can always handle the pain, and always breaks down the second it’s someone else’s health on the line. Why doesn’t the villain, who’s always pissed at the lack of results, start with the proper motivation?

It’s either this or they wait until the perfect dramatic timing to reveal some skill or weapon or ultimatum after precious time has been lost, deadlines have been missed, and money has been burnt. Or they’re in the boss battle and they wait until the hero thinks they’ve won to pull out their secret weapon.

Unless you can give your villain a valid reason to not start with all the tools they have at their disposal, it might as well be a reverse deus ex machina. Even if it’s something as simple as Plan B hasn’t arrived on scene yet.

5. Everybody Has a Somebody

A topic I plan to expand on so I’ll keep it short here. Basically, the story wraps up and every eligible single character has a love interest they’re in varying stages of romance with. No one is spared, or they’re already dead. It’s a race to the finish line to give these characters significant others because that’s just what you do, it’s what audiences expect, there must be a romantic subplot.

Particularly annoyed when it’s an ensemble cast and the entire hero team only has relationships with other members of the hero team and no one outside this unit of 6-10 characters (*cough* Percy Jackson *cough*). No one is allowed to be single, or happy that they’re single. Everybody has somebody, no matter how well developed or plausible this relationship is.

4. Half-Baked Twist Villains

No one likes these characters and I’m not saying anything new here, and yet it still keeps happening. This one comes from just recently rewatching the abysmal Cars 2 (which is older, I know) and just trying to untangle this plot. This plot, that Pixar rinsed and repeated in Incredibles 2, and really thought no one would notice. This plot, where the villain creates a problem that doesn’t exist to make their own agenda look better, whether that’s malignant superheroes or green fuel.

Both try. Neither pretend the story is absent of a villain, unlike, say, Frozen. Both movies have a villain, they just have a hidden identity. The reveal just never hits as hard as the writers expect it to because, once again, they didn’t actually do the work to write a competent villain, they just slapped a “villain” sticker on their foreheads and called it a day. Why? Who cares.

3. Consequenceless Revivals

I love revivals, I love bringing characters back from the dead, love watching it, love writing it, love the drama.

Don’t love it when they’re suddenly back with no explanation or price to be paid. A character death should be a major event, and if you kill a character just to make your audience sad, then bring them back with zero effort, death begins to lose meaning in your world. CW shows are particularly terrible at this, specifically the TVD universe and Supernatural.

In the earlier seasons, when Sam or Dean died and came back, they still experienced character growth by dying and the experiences in hell, the PTSD inflicted, the new emotional battle scars. Even when Dean died a thousand times in the “Mystery Spot” episode, the point wasn’t “ha ha funny Dean dies again,” it was exercising Sam’s crippling codependency on his brother, as Gabriel says. There are consequences, either for the character’s psyche, or a cost for bringing them back to life.

2. Wimping Out on Promised Death

This decision makes me want to throw the book at the wall, or pause the movie and walk away. It’s the penultimate battle, the prophecy is upon us, a character or one of two characters must die to save the day, it cannot be impeded, avoided, or circumvented. We’ve known this is coming since the story began and are prepared for the tears and bloodshed.

Then the magical miracle springs out of nowhere and everyone gets to live. Kill them. Please. Even if it’s my favorite character, I’d rather cry over their death than be disappointed by plot convenience. If this is the tragic, fulfilling end to their arc, then that’s how I want it to end. Rarely do these characters get revived in a satisfying loophole everyone should have seen coming. I just feel manipulated.

1.  Forced Miscommunication

*Picture me walking a stadium hawking Pointless Drama like cotton candy and cans of beer* Cheap Drama! Anybody want some Cheap Drama? Cheap Drama!

In the real world, people make misassumptions all the time and many of us are conflict-averse. We avoid talking about our problems to those who’ve wronged us like we’re polarized magnets. Forced miscommunication doesn’t care about anxiety, which would be fascinating to explore as explicitly anxious characters suffering legit mental issues is under-utilized. No, these instances just have characters eavesdropping or snooping and, out of character, make all these outlandish assumptions, refuse to listen to explanations, and start a fight that lasts juuuuust long enough until it’s magically resolved without consequence.

It doesn’t do anything for the story. It exists independently of these characters’ relationship and has zero impact once it’s resolved. I am 100% down for a single miscommunication causing an emotional outburst so extreme that it has the offended party seriously considering the strengths of their relationship, but it never happens that way.

—

TL;DR: The existence of a trope does not do the job of writing a compelling story for you. If you can look at any one scene in your book and not explain why it matters, what impact it has on the plot, story, or characters, delete it or rewrite it so it does. Even if it only exists to be funny, there should still be something gained from the experience.

[pawborough]

Hello everyone! 

First off, apologies for the later update this month! 

The truth is that the software developers were on a slow bend this month. A majority of time was spent on theoretical economy balancing and item number crunching. While this is important work for the long term, there’s not much to show for it aside from spreadsheet numbers. We’re now back in full swing!

Originally, we wanted to wait to update the demo with Longhairs before releasing a check in. You all deserve some substantial content. 

However, the devs reported that they were not going to be able to do this until next week. Hearing this, we didn't want to continue the wait after that!

That all being said, Longhairs and Cheeks/Lollipop are coming this month, full promise! The art has all been ready, we just had some technical kinks to buff out!

Moontails are next up with the majority of their patterns done. The breed currently needs 3 more patterns illustrated. Moontail wing color-picking has also been a mighty task that is nearing completion! Check out a few wing color previews: 

We expect Moontails to be up soon after Longhairs. 

We have in the meantime begun concurrent production on illustrating Thumpers, with Fyrets and Bovines close behind. 

This update, we will majority talk about what concrete expectations you as a follower can have for our timeline! 

Let's look at some art first! 

New Fauna

Nautitum 

This aquatic fella saves snacks for later in his belly!

New Accessories

We have completed a backer accessory!

Firefly Chime

The illustration of the Firefly Chime was a great experiment for us, as we worked with a copy-past-able asset and still positioned it in unique ways. 

With these two, we were able to test our pipeline for different types of accessories. The Firefly Chime was finished in record time, and we believe that we can illustrate quite a few simple accessories. 

This is all very exciting for our catalog! 

Guild UI

With this screenshot, we see how roll for outcome scenarios are played out!

We want to talk about our expectations for the future! 

Our goal for a dedicated alpha is to have a test of about 100 concurrent users run for two weeks straight. This is to stress test the servers and weed out apparent bugs. We already have many playable states, but this test would mark a tangible transition to beta. 

After which, we will move to beta to test things like number balancing, item drop rates, and general mechanic feedback. Beta is planned to run for several months while we iron the kinks. 

So what should you expect? 

Our original plan was for alpha to remain strictly internal and invite only. We wanted testers to understand that this would be a rather laborious volunteer job with less fun, more QA. However, we have been shown by the sheer dedication and passion in our supporters that some of you would want nothing more! 

So, we're opening alpha applications! 

Alpha Applications

Alpha will be a two week long test with an average of 100 users. 

We must stress that this is a volunteer job with more expectations than beta. You will be given a checklist of functions to test and buttons to click daily, and be expected to report any bugs or lack thereof each time. All alpha testers will be compensated for their time and energy with an exclusive fauna. (As mentioned before, exclusive Fauna will not be counted for Faunapedia completion rewards.) 

Compatible volunteers will be chosen at random from our application. 

Sign up here! 

Applications will close upon announcement. We will make an announcement of a closure date one week before they officially close!

Timeline

We are planning to have alpha up and running within 30-60 days from now.

Closed beta will begin 3 weeks after alpha. 

From there, we plan to open our doors for people without beta keys during registration periods. This will be "open beta." 

Projection for this is August of 2024. 

This asset will be pinned to all our social media. 

While we've had general estimations before now based on different factors, this is our first promise of an established expectation. We had a lot of learning curves, personal setbacks, and growing pains as a team, but we've ironed out much of the kinks seen in our early development. August has been a consistent goal of ours for opening registrations from the beginning, and we're now finally comfortable enough to announce it. 

We are still hesitant to announce dates at this time, as frankly anything can happen and we're loath to have users wait months for a date only to be disappointed by a push to the next week, but this is what our team is expecting and projecting. 

Dates will be announced when they are within 2 weeks time! This will give us a tight enough window to accurately predict when the game will be ready, and ensure there aren’t last minute pushes. It will also give users time to prepare for grabbing early registrations. 

From open beta, we'll be working to transition into a formidable game. All our focus will be on readying content and making sure our mechanics are balanced. This ballpark is dependent on a number of factors, so we'll need to update as we transition into Phase 4! 

One more note for users to expect: Throughout alpha and beta, there may be placeholder assets for smaller things such as food icons or items. These will be visually indicated as placeholders. 

The intention for these game states will be to make sure our software runs as smoothly as possible, the economy is balanced, and the game is fun to play. Our program will not be "launched" until all assets are final, but it will speed our development to both test and produce at the same time! 

Our artists during this phase of development are all freelancers, and their availability is largely dependent on outside factors. We must remain vigilant to this fact while we plan out our timeline, and we appreciate everyone's support and patience!

We realize this update has less content than previous updates, but a large amount of our manpower at this moment is going towards monotonous things such as repeat pattern illustrations, repeat accessory illustrations, and refinement of mechanics already featured.

Thank you to all our supporters who have stuck by us while we continued development and faced new challenges! It's a huge step for us to be at this stage, and we're all very excited!

To Summarize: We showed a new fauna, new backer accessory, guild UI development, and opened applications for 2-week dedicated alpha testing. 

What to expect next month: Further asset and UI development, peaks into alpha gameplay and dedicated game loops. 

[blood-mocha-latte]

87 for demacon plss

87. “You were never just my friend.”

nonnie! thank you for the ask <3. since i got another anon ask for demacon that fits well into this one, consider this a part 1 with part 2 coming out soon :). when it does, i’ll link it here as well as keep them both under the tag #demacon drabbles on my blog, so you can find them together.

The way the sun hits the horizon — pale, weak and watery like a baby bird that can still barely walk, let alone fly — reminds Benny of the Stalag.

Of course, most things do, in some form. Most things remind him of the Stalag, or of the plane, or of the way barbed wire seemed to twine through the sky like a serpent around the trunk of a tree.

The warmth is different, though.

The breeze that brushes across the side of his face seems to flow with the hand that presses briefly – heavily – to his shoulder as Macon settles down next to him, a vague greeting, although he still sits maybe two feet away. 

Benny doesn’t look at him. 

“I like it here.” He says, decided, and his voice is hoarser than he’d like. He doesn’t know why, but he quit smoking maybe a month ago. Macon just hums. “You can see the sky.”

“There’s sky in Chicago.” 

When Benny finally gives in, glancing over at him for half of a second, his heart thuds ugly in his chest. Of course it does, of course it always will. Macon’s leaning back on his hands, braced against the roof they both sit on, head tilted back slightly to watch the horizon. 

It hurts him, somewhat, and Benny can tell. Can tell from the way his jaw is slightly tenser than it would be, otherwise, the way the corners of his eyes crinkle, although laughter evades them. Always has. “You didn’t have to come up here.”

He looks back up before Macon replies, slow and steady, working through his words and putting them together more neatly and more patiently than Benny ever could.

(He’s right, of course. He’s always right. There is sky in Chicago. But it’s not like the sky here. Here, it doesn’t stretch into the ground, isn’t swallowed up by factory smoke or buildings. On the train down to the farm, Mobile had been like that — all smoke and production and people — and it felt a world away. He hoped it stayed like that.)

“Yeah, well.” Macon says, breaking through whatever thin veneer of thought that Benny had worked up to easily. “Figured I should find you before you up and ran off. Further than the roof, that is.”

Ridiculously, stupidly, nonsensically, Benny’s eyes start to burn, at that. He huffs, a sharp, coarse sound to compensate for it, dipping his head just enough to dig the heels of his palms into his eyes before looking back up. The sun’s sinking faster now. “I wouldn’t run.” He says.

That’s a lie. He has run, does run. Most recently, he ran from Chicago to here, barely told his parents and barely packed and barely thinking. The only thing he’d done right – as per usual, maybe – was making sure Meatball was set to stay with his mother for a week or two.

As if sensing where his thoughts turned, Macon shifted, moving maybe two inches closer. “You missing the dog?”

Benny spares half of a second to wonder if that’s stupid. “I don’t know what I miss.” He said, maybe like admitting something. Macon stayed quiet, and Benny just shrugged, senseless, shifted enough to push his feet out in front of him and lean back on his hands, mimicking the others' pose. “The dog. Chicago. It’s — the airbase, maybe. Flying, I guess. Having friends.”

He still has friends. Not like anymore, though. People fall out of contact. He still calls Buck. Writes to Brady and Crank. That’s about it. Except, of course—

“We’re friends.” Macon tells him, and Benny presses his lips together, closes his eyes and opens them just as quickly. 

When he talks, it comes out like half a laugh. He didn’t mean it like that. Can’t meet Macon’s eyes, but feels the others gaze on the side of his face like a brand. “You were never just my friend.” He says, and almost regrets it. “It’s — you know that. You know it.”

Macon’s still watching him. Benny still just watches the sky. “Everything’s worse when you’re tired.” He tells Benny, like it means anything, and maybe it does, because Benny hasn’t slept in at least 48 hours. 

“Richard.” Benny says, anyways, because he’s gone longer without anything and he doesn’t know how to stop anymore. He finally turns to find Macon’s face again, and of course, of course, finds him watching right back. If Benny focuses for long enough, he can see the sun in Macon’s eyes. 

He hesitates, then.

Because they hadn’t really talked about this. Hadn’t talked about any of it. Hadn’t talked about what them meant, or if there even was a them. They’d stuck close through two Stalags and a march and kept in touch and wondered, maybe, and then Benny had ended up here.

He was sure he was missing things. Gaps in warmth and memory that had been replaced by the emptiness that seemed to buzz, distracted, through his mind. His mother kept telling him it was shellshock, and so did Buck, but Benny didn’t think so. The war was over, and so was the shellshock. That was how it worked.

He lost a beat more of the moment, thinking about that. Macon just watched him, something between patient and thinking of something else, himself. Benny blinked at him again. “Do you want me to be here?” 

He catches the moment that Macon blanches. Nothing more than a brief heartbeat of hesitation, barely enough for anyone else to catch the way he paused. 

Benny did, though. Maybe in the same way he knew that Macon still hurt, sometimes. It was all in the jaw. In the eyes.

Macon thinks, before answering him. That’s not new. 

“It’s—” He says, voice a notch lower, like he was thinking more intensely about this, than what he’d had to say previously. His eyes never left Benny, though. Never left, and for the hundredth time, it reminded him that Richard Macon was probably the bravest man to walk the earth. Had to be. “It’s dangerous for you to be here. And stupid. And insane. And doesn’t make a lot of sense.”

Benny huffs, pulls up a leg enough to rest his elbow on his knee and scrub the back of his hand along his mouth. It shouldn’t make him laugh. It does. He turns enough to press his cheek into his knee and keep watching Macon, tucking his lower lip between his teeth without thinking about it. He still catches the way the others gaze drops to his mouth.

“I want you to be here, though.” Richard finishes, finds Benny’s eyes again. What’s left of the sun shines against the side of his face in brilliant reflections of color that Benny doesn’t know how to name. “I want you to be.” 

Benny just watches him, for half of a second. Macon does the same, puts the ball right back in Benny’s court, and he wishes he could be more annoyed for it. Instead, he just shifts, pushes one of the hands that press flat to the roof of Macon’s shed closer to the owner of it, until he’s just barely not touching the other. 

Macon hesitates, but bridges the gap. Shifts enough to press their fingertips together.

The moment he does, Benny shifts enough to turn his hand over, hooking two fingers around Macon’s thumb. It’s calloused, rough from work. He can see the fruit of that work laid out in front of him, in split wood and blueprints and plans in Richard’s tiny kitchen.

“I want to be.” Benny tells him, still watching their hands. 

Macon barely pauses before turning his own hand over, lacing their fingers together more easily, just as tentatively. 

Benny looks back up.

[manupropriaindigo]

Nervous Tick

(Originally written December 15th, 2022.)

You check every component of the list. All ingredients accounted for. Mise en place. Perfect. As you are.

You check again. Perfection is expected. Demanded. You do not make mistakes. You cannot make a mistake.

Preparation of Miss's reagents requires your steady hand, your precise eye, your machine precision. You progress, carefully and diligently, through each step of the process. Every element is mixed according to the exact ratio as necessary, its time in the cauldron exactly as long as it should be, before the still-boiling mix is taken off heat and allowed to rest. All exactly as described.

You check your work again. You are incapable of making mistakes. Everything exactly to plan. Another check. No errors.

An error would be catastrophic. The scenario unfolds in your imagination, imagined injury to your pride eclipsed by what retribution may come. Cold loneliness, pain, squalor. Everything lost.

You do not make mistakes. You cannot make a mistake.

Your night at the alchemical station moves slowly. With each phial completed your key winds down, the time between each tick growing infinitesimally. You have not made a mistake all night. All week.

Dawn creeps through the forest line, casts its first shard of light past the window illuminating the spot on the wall to your right. Five more to go before you may rest.

This next one's portion of copper shavings is slightly more full than the others.

You stop. Reconsider every completed batch before you.

The ratio of copper shavings dramatically effects the production and efficacy of the entire reagent. Best case scenario, the completed product is inert. Worst case scenario, an outsized exothermic reaction could ignite the entire lab.

As is self-evident, your alchemical workstation is in good order. No exothermic reactions here. What about a dud? Were any of the other batches strange? You struggle to recall. One seemed to behave in a slightly more boisterous manner than the others, but you had thought nothing of it at the time. You fool.

Before preparing the next, you re-check your work on each completed phial. The gentle patina-green glow of each one reassures you of its proper production. Carefully and diligently, you inspect each one, just as you do right after brewing them. Just as good as they were when they came out the cauldron.

You do not make mistakes. You cannot make a mistake.

You made a mistake.

Your hand a little more tremulous than before, your eye a little less sure than before, you fix your error in the next batch. You prepare it, and its perfect subtly-glowing product sits next to the others from tonight's efforts.

Four more similarly-flawless phials soon grace the table, the completed set proof of a job well done. You allow a smile. Perfection.

Unless one is inert, and you could not detect it. You switch off the heat under the cauldron, retire to your quarters, and hope that your next waking moment is a peaceful one.

Your drift to oblivion is slow, painful. Images of Miss finding a mistake in your perfect batch plague you. Counter-arguments bat away the more obvious anxieties, but the more esoteric ones remain. Did you really inspect each phial for the proper glow? Are you certain the erel-ichor was fresh and not musty? Was the heater tuned properly? For every 10 questions you can answer, one "I don't know" bores through into your core. It's so difficult to wind down to true Stillness when you're so wound up.

You eventually find that peace. You even manage to hold onto it for a minute or two as consciousness slides back in. Nervous for what might be found. What will be found.

You attend to her at late morning, where She sits at the seat you occupied hours ago. Her slender, careful hands hold up phial after phial to the sunlight, Her wizened eye judging your work. As a test, She selects another at random and pours its contents into a small silver cup. Time slows as the thin, filmy contents reach down toward the bottom.

Contact with a holy metal would both destroy the reagent and prove its potency. An inert or diluted reagent would fill the vessel harmlessly. Imbalance would induce stress onto the cup itself, forcing it to warp and crack. Overheating would allow the mixture to eat through the metal like acid.

Steam and hiss rise from behind the walls of the silver cup. Evaporation upon contact. The genuine article.

Her curt "Well done" and flash of a smirk assured you of your perfection. As is expected. As is demanded. A sigh of relief reverberates through your body, inaudible.

The thousand pinpricks of fear sublimate. Your core relaxes. You can almost hear the spring inside you releasing your tension, and a paroxysm of contentment nearly forces your legs to bow. In that moment, you are as close to exultant as you may reach.

Before another passes, She demands another batch to be prepared by next dawn. Two if possible, though She is understanding that one doll may only produce so much at one alchemical workstation in one night.

Your spring tenses up again. That one was audible, though perhaps only to you.

You bow and smile. You will not make mistakes. You must not make a mistake.

"Your will be done, Miss."

[bigbadwolfhye]

I Choose You

Olivia Hye x reader x Jinsoul

Fluff

Sorry for the lack of content and stories, been stressed and tired a few months due to my exams for finals. I mostly spent my summer break for resting and just relaxing in general, summer break is almost over and the next school year is about to start so just keep in mind that I’ll keep my posts of stories in a slow pace and are mostly on my drafts for a long time. This story in particular is not finished and has a part 2 so look forward to that

"I'm just visiting, Sollie. It's the holidays" you both walked to the car, her arm around yours

 Arriving at Incheon International Airport, you were nervous to finally meet your best friend after so long. Jinsol was now an idol, more like Jinsoul... She had fulfilled her dream.

Walking out the airport you took a deep breath smelling the fresh air, looking around you see the blonde haired friend that is waiting and waving at you. She ran to you and hugged you "Oh my god! You're finally here! I can smell your grown up scent now, not like in video calls—" you hugged her back

"How long did you say you'll be staying?" Jinsoul asked

"A week or two, depends if something interests me stay" you said with a smile

"Still doesn't have a girlfriend, I see?" Jinsoul opens the door of the car for the both of you

"Nobody has caught my attention" you say

"Attention? You said you like simple? How come you have never found a simple person? And you've been travelling too" Jinsoul looks and sounds frustrated with what you said, she looks out the window away from you

"Stop sulking, Sollie. I know that you want to imply that you're my type, yes but no. Sollie, I don't want to ruin this friendship that we've had since childhood" you caress Jinsoul's cheek "We've been best friends for so long, those years that we built together... I don't want to ruin. You get what I'm saying, right?" Jinsoul sulks even more

She eventually softens up "I just don't get it... Why friends? The first time we met, I said that I like you. You said that we should become friends first, be closer. Then what happened after that? We became best friends? You never found love in me, that's why you only see me as a friend" the car stopped in a parking lot and she got out first

Sighing deep you got out too, see her getting your luggage faster that the driver could. She fast-walked to the elevator where you catched her with a back hug "Sollie, it's because I'm not the right person for you. I know that you can find someone better that me" she presses the button to call for the elevator

She didn't say anything, just breaks your hug and immediately go to the elevator where you followed. The air in the elevator was too awkward to handle, she never looked at you while at the elevator and walked off first when the door opened

You've got enough of what she's doing, you never knew that this is what you're getting into after arriving

Jinsoul trying to open your apartment with a key card she have "Sollie, let's talk" she ignored you. You noticed that the key card that she's holding is upsidedown "Sollie, the card is backwards" you say, she listens and opened the door to the apartment

She went inside and threw your luggage into the sofa, she went to the kitchen and drank some water. You just stand in the middle of the living room, looking at her do things she never usually do. She's unpacking your luggage and put the things inside to the closets

"Sollie, do you want to eat first?" she ignored you "Sollie, do you want to sit on the sofa for a bit?" she walked past you "Sollie, I'm kind of tired from the flight, can I sleep first? I'll unpack my luggage later" she didn't stop

You sat on the bed, looking at Jinsoul be productive. Never seen a scene of her like this.

You laid back "I'm going to take a nap, okay?" she made eye contact with you but she didn't stop, you've had enough "Leave and lock the door after you're done. I'll call you if I need room service again"

You closed your eyes and went to sleep

After several hours, you woke up, looks like the sun has set

You went outside your room and there are no traces of Jinsoul everywhere, the luggage was empty, the door was closed and the air is cold

Tired from the flight, you decided to get delivery than cook food yourself

After the meal you went to the balcony and stared at the starry sky and the bright skyscrapers illuminating the city life

"I should call Sollie for company but I don't know if she has schedule for tomorrow" you say to yourself "Maybe just a conversation on the phone but I don't know if she's busy right now or if she's still sulking or tired of organizing my stuff earlier"

You still decided to call her

You sat on the sofa and called her

It rang for 30 seconds and a voicemail came "Jinsol unnie is washing her face right now, call later after she's done" why does this voice sound familiar?

"Oh..." You looked at your phone "Who was that?" You were confused "Probably her member"

You have nothing to do now... Just watch TV till sleepy

An hour later, you yawned. Sign of sleepiness dawned you

You walked back to the bedroom and fell face first on the bed, tired and sad, you tried to go to sleep

Next moring

*Ring ring ring*

Your phone rang

You reached for it and answered in a morning voice "Yes?"

"Hey" it's Jinsoul

You sat back up in excitement "Hey, Sollie!"

"Why'd you call last night? Did you need something?" she doesn't sound as excited as you are, maybe still sulking

"I was calling for some company last night but it's all good" you said smiling, hearing her again

"It's all good? Did you found another company last night? Who was it?" she bombarded you with questions

Confused you say, "No one, I just watched TV until I was sleepy, kind of boring actually. I thought I will be more happy going back home and not think of work for the holidays but I was wrong, probably going back abroad as soon as possible after I find new projects"

"You're leaving again?" now she sounded worried

"I have nothing to do here, I'm just lazying around, watch TV or lay in bed all day" you said

"Do you want me to go there?" she asked

"If you could, can you?" you were desperate of company

"I unfortunately can't, I'm busy right now. I can come later, if you want me to" she said

"No, it's okay. I'll just go around town myself" you said then hung up

You put your phone on the bed and started to get ready

After showering you covered yourself in a towel and walked to the bedroom, as you put on your underwear, the door bell rang

You covered yourself in towel once again and go to the door "Who's there?"

"Oh–uhmm, I'm Olivia Hye. Jinsol unnie sent me to accompany you for a while" she said

"Oh, it's her! The voice I heard from Jinsol's voicemail" you thought

"Okay? And how should I believe that?" you get an umbrella and held it tight incase this was a serial killer

"I'm her groupmate, a member? You know, our group. You even heard my voice last night, on the voicemail" Olivia Hye was in loss of words

"Not convicing enough" jokingly, you still didn't believed her

"Can at least open the door? It's freezing out here" you looked through the peep hole and there she was

Bob cut black hair, she's stomping her feet and she's wearing only a jacket and a skirt

You opened the door, she looked shocked as she sees you

"Of course you're gonna freeze, you're wearing a skirt!" you scolded her

She covered her eyes from your appearance "Please oppa put some clothes on, we just met!" Then it struck you, you were only wearing an underwear and a towel

"Oh my god! I'm sorry!!! Come in and close the door!" You say then ran to the bedroom dropping your towel when passing the living room, you can hear her laughing as soon as you closed the bedroom door

After putting clothes on, you walked out awkwardly from your room. Looking at Olivia Hye, she was on her phone sitting on the sofa

"Why are you here?" you asked her as you sit down next to her

"Didn't you call Unnie for company? She can't make it today because of her busy schedule so I'm here to fill in" she puts her phone down

"But why you? I've barely known you, only Haseul and Sooyoung are the ones that I know" you said

"You don't want me here don't you" Olivia's smile dissipated

"No, no. Oli—" you look into her eyes "I'm—I'm sorry but It's just because I don't know you" you said panicking over this girl that is sulking, her sulking suddenly reminded you of Jinsoul

"Yes! You don't know me and you don't want me here, I didn't really want to be here also!" she says as she stood up and started to leave

Shocked at what she said, you stood up too and pulled her into a hug "No. Don't leave, I'm sorry. I ju–just need somebody to be with me... I don't want to be alone" you held her tight and sobbed on her shoulder

You were crying under a tree at the park when a girl walked up to you and threw you a handkerchief. Looking at the girl, you immediately wiped your tears from your eyes. She came closer and crouched down in front of you, she smiled and you hid you face from her

"What's your name?" she asked

You didn't answer, she took the handkerchief and wiped your eyes

"Why are you crying?" she asks again

You didn't answer again

She stood up "Well, if you don't answer my questions, I'm leaving!"

She turned around

You took up the courage to stood up and hug her from the back

"No. Don't leave, I'm sorry" you muttered your first words

She broke the hug and looked at you

"Then tell me what happened" she placed her hands on her waist

"My f-friend left me... He went to play with other kids" you said while looking down, still sobbing

"You cried because of that? Boys don't cry about that" she said chuckling

"I don't like being alone" you said

"You don't have other friends?" she asked

"No" you started crying again

"Then let's be friends!" she smiled and jumped with enthusiasm

You were stunned as she hugs you back

"Let's meet again, okay?" she says

"Yeah..." you hug her back, tears of joy come spewing down your face. You smiled

*2 days later*

You've been waiting for your friend at the park of 2 hours now, waiting patiently under the tree where both of you met

"Where is she?" you talk to yourself

The sun has set and the night came, darkness came afterwards

"Where is she" you doubt that she's coming so you just stood up and went back home

On the way home, you walked past her grandma that's walking back home "Grandma!" You ran to her "Do you know where Hyeju is?"

"Oh? Didn't you know? She and her Parents just left, they were going to the city" her grandma said patting his shoulder

Shocked at the news, you started to tear up "Why did they leave?" you said

"Her dad said that he have work there" she said looking into the sky, thinking. She then looked at you "Oh no! Boy, don't cry!" She rushed to you and hugged you while patting your head

"I'm fine, grandma" you said but she didn't let go

"You're not" she said combing your hair

You can only do is cry, you fell into her arms "I don't h-have a f-friend anymore"

"You can always visit her but she's too far, will you go that far to visit a friend?" the grandma said

You wipe your tears "No! I don't need anyone! I have myself!" you ran back to your house

"Why don't you want to be alone again? What do you mean?" She asked

We sat back down on the couch "When I was a kid, Me and my family lived in a small town is the province and I had a friend there that was very close to me. They eventually left the town to go the big city of Seoul without telling me, that's when I was left alone"

"Is it a guy friend or...?" She asked

"She's a she" you said as you look down

She moved closer to you and held your hand "I know that feeling"

"You do?!" you got excited hearing that

"Yeah, but it's on reverse. I have a friend from childhood that I left because my parents want me to study in the city, I couldn't tell him immediately because we left so suddenly. I am wondering if you were him" she said

"There is a possibility but your name is not—"

I got interrupted by the door opening and Jinsol coming in "Hyeju-yah!"

"What? H-hyeju?"

"Unnie!" Olivia Hye stood up

"What are you two doing?" Jinsoul asked

[macawritesupdates]

JEALOUSY IS A BAD FRIEND updated! Reader input is welcomed for this MHA fic, just like Can't Help a Cuddle <3 Always happy to get comments for the reader input fics c:

WRITING UPDATES 9/10/2024 ACTIVE FICS

Lessons in Accidental Seduction: Next chapter is coming along and should be up very soon! Pushing to get this one out! Yuuji Files: The chapter is getting close to being finished! Been a while since this one updated so hopefully the new chapter is worth the wait!

Malevolence of Love: Next chapter is getting done! The first half is done, now writing the Sukuna part which is a big part....

Spouse Wanted: New chapter is coming soon! Nearly done, just a few scenes left to write c:

Broken in the Ways No One Sees: Planning out the next chapter but taking my time as that last chapter hit my FEEEELLLS Second Grandson: New chapter is being worked on c: Something light and fluffy with a lot of cute!

Who's a Good Boy: New chapter in the works! Outlining it!

Careful What you Joke About: Working on the next chapter and hoping for an update this week! Can't Help a Cuddle: Waiting to see if any more suggestions come in before I start into writing the next chapter c: Jealousy is Not a Good Friend: Waiting on suggestions before starting to outline the fic! Mirrored Lives: Working on reworking the plot and making it more coherent and interesting! Unsung Heroes: I have had the next few chapters outlined, just haven't had time to work on it as I give priority to other fics! A Rut Time of It: Same as Unsung Heroes...planned out, just priority is on other fics

INCOMING ONESHOTS

Take me to Prom: Yuuji blackmailing Sukuna to be his emergency prom date. Sukuna dressing up as a girl to be the fake date. Heatwaves and Curses Don't Mix: Nobara, Yuuji, and Sukuna dying in a heatwave and it leads to a threesome. PWO fic Pull Me Along if I Can't Move Forward: Bakugo x Deku soft spicy fic in slow work!

FUTURE NEW STORIES

Culturally Inappropriate: the sequel to Historically Inaccurate where Yuuji joins a group of curse users like him who are "vessels" just to try and feel like he belongs a little bit.... then the Culling Games happens and his new questionable friends and him have to join forces to save those he loves. All while trying to figure out his relationship with Sukuna. Currently this story is in pre-production where I'm creating the characters and working through the outline of the general plot for coherence and figuring out the themes!

Law Meets Disorder: This one is still being pre-planned as it is going to be a much longer fic. Follows newly promoted Detective Yuuji who on a sting operation, turns out to be the soul mate of Sukuna. Neither is happy and now they got to figure that out while Yuuji gest dragged into a twisting mystery that goes deeper and deeper.

The Dragon Sukuita Story: Dragon Yuuji becomes the patriarch of his clan...that is then threatened by a wild dragon of immense strength and incredible savagery. Turns out though, defeating him means now they are destined to be mates.

Still in intense preplanning as it is more just an idea and worldbuilding, not yet having a concrete plot...

So much to write and so little time!

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

I'm looking at the forecast for JOKER: FOLIE A DEUX, and I also saw how low the attendance was at my cinema job yesterday, and... It got me thinking again about where big comic book/superhero movies are at in the post-COVID outbreak world...

And how JOKER 2 - along with films like QUANTUMANIA, SHAZAM 2, THE MARVELS, and THE FLASH - sorta fit a weird group of pictures that probably would've made boffo bucks in 2019 but not now. Backwash, you could say, from a bygone era that's only like five years ago...

Meanwhile, we saw the recent successes of GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 3 and ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE, superhero movies that were more than just your usual garden variety superhero movie. They had some kind of vision or passion or spunk behind them. DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE is, I feel, the anomaly to this, as I felt it to be a fairly vision-less movie. Just a big budget parade of your favorite characters and action bits and lots of cameos, but done well enough with a sense of fun that kept audiences coming back after it made over $211m on its domestic opening weekend. I certainly had a fun time with it, but I wouldn't say it's anything other than "here's some fan favorites and some bloody action."

And then smack-dab in the middle of all this is MADAME WEB, which by all accounts was hacked to pieces in post-production much like how MORBIUS was. A film that could've stood out amongst the superhero pack as a period piece (2003 as a period piece, that's frightening to me lol), but ended up being molded into your usual schlop with lots of noticeable ADR.

Then you have two other Sony Spider-Man-adjacent movies this year, out within two months of one another. VENOM: THE LAST DANCE, out in a few weeks from now, should do good business because of the campy buddy comedy appeal of these particular movies. KRAVEN THE HUNTER, which was delayed multiple times, I have no idea. That might get a little lost in the Christmas season feeding frenzy. I have no idea how much further these Sony movies will go, outside of the VENOM movies. Remember how they wanted to do an EL MUERTO movie and then it got canned?

It seems like it's all a slow, prolonged sea change in comic book movies. I think they'll still get made, but something will have to change... as even a sequel to JOKER - which prided itself on resembling a '70s/'80s New Hollywood Scorsese-esque project - isn't cutting it. The idea of the new one being like a classic musical and a courtroom drama sounds really cool on paper, but in 2024, it's just not enough. The first one seems to be of a specific time, and belongs only to that time, it could be argued. A Trump-era slog about a "misunderstood" lonely guy who eventually ends up killing people, that devolves into a cacophony of violence... Its most controversial aspects were outside of the movie itself. I remember all the pre-release worry about the film possibly being a rallying cry to shooters... It came out and nothing happened, but it got tons of people to flock to the movie. It just hit at the right time, the noise around it created an appeal of sorts. It being this R-rated gritty street level movie and not your usual comic book movie.

But in 2024, now it's just "Eh, a new JOKER movie?" Add in the extreme genre shift, and a chunk of the audience was alienated.

Next year... CAPTAIN AMERICA 4... Looks - to me - like the most anticipated movie of 2015, honestly. THUNDERBOLTS* also looks too little, too late and also kinda just... There... James Gunn's SUPERMAN could really go either way, it could pull a MAN OF STEEL, or it could really break out. Maybe a BATMAN BEGINS-esque performance is in the cards here, where it opens kinda okayish because of a general fatigue w/ constant superhero movies (not to mention Henry Cavill's Kal-El not being that far behind) but has great legs. FANTASTIC FOUR Again, maybe this new take does the same? Maybe it's just more MCU fluff that gets a handful of fans on opening weekend and just fades away afterwards. There's an untitled Sony Spider-Man adjacent movie set for summer 2025 as well, but I wouldn't be surprised if that gets nerfed from the schedule. By now I think we'd know what it is, unless it's some kind of surprise project. Still, you'd know about it because it'd be filming or wrapped up by now. Speaking of which, BLADE is definitely not out next year, I'm surprised Disney and Marvel haven't changed its release or removed it from the calendar. We'll have to see where it all goes...

Ya know what comic book movie sticks out among all these 2025 entries?

DOG MAN!

Which I expect to be a respectable success for DreamWorks, come this winter. Its animation and visuals were outsourced to Jellyfish, much in the same way CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS was to Mikros. Jellyfish got SPIRIT UNTAMED out for $30m, I'd imagine this didn't cost anything more than that. Plus it's well after SPIRIT's timeframe, which was when vaccines were still rolling out, and this new movie is based on the Dav Pilkey CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS universe so it should do pretty okay. But to me, this is probably the most distinct CBM of next year, in a sea of big budget spectacle. A little cartoon movie about half man/half dog from a comic book written by fictional children that plays out in the way a comic drawn up by a kid would.

Leave it to animation to save the day here, lol. We need something to hold us over in comic book movies until BEYOND THE SPIDER-VERSE, whenever they decide to release that.

2026 is home to what looks like the usual array of late 2010s CBM backwash... AVENGERS: DOOMSDAY with Robert Downey Jr. returning to the MCU, possibly a fourth Tom Holland Spider-Man movie, two other untitled MCU movies (BLADE will likely take one of those slots)

There's also Gunn/Safran-verse DC's SUPERGIRL, but we gotta see what SUPERMAN looks like, first, before I can say whether their new DC shared universe feels like it belongs in the past decade or not...

You also have another animated entry with the MUTANT MAYHEM sequel, the first one - from last year - being a great and fresh new spin on the TMNT property. And THE BATMAN - PART II, the first one got a very strong response back in 2022. I would say THE BATMAN and MUTANT MAYHEM are of this new post-ENDGAME superhero movie era, the first SPIDER-VERSE arguably kicked that off in late 2018 before ENDGAME was released.

Again, it's a real "we'll have to see". Tracking this stuff can be fascinating for me.

[polizwrites]

PoliZ's WIP Update - 10 Jul 2024

A busy week IRL, so didn’t quite make my unofficial word count goal, but was still productive overall.  I touched seven fics (6 new & 1 WIPs) - for a total of 1953 words.   

On Ao3, I posted: 

 Chapter Two of Coming Clean - WinterIron + Stucky PWP.  

(Not a) Perfect Soldier -  Steve POV self-reflection drabble

A Vital Mission -  Steve & Natasha + Avengers family ficlet 

On Tumblr I posted: 

A Plain Brown Envelope - pre-War Stucky Mature ficlet  

Fighting Fire with Fire -  Fantasy AU  Steve & Bucky ficlet 

Hell Bent for Leather - Established relationship Stony Mature ficlet 

Coming Around Again -  post CA:WS recovering!Bucky Stucky ficlet 

An Oasis in the Desert - post CA:WS recovering!Bucky Stucky ficlet  

I’m juggling  20  active/semi-active WIPs with my current  deadline being the  Steve Rogers Bingo which ends on July 15th and the July Break Bingo, which runs for the month of July.  

See  below cut for what I’m working on/planning to work on - arranged more or less by bingos/challenges/etc.  As always, feel free to send me   prompts or plot bunnies as well as asks regarding  any of these projects  or any other WIPs I’ve got out there.   Interaction really helps feed the Muse and keep me motivated!

Fluffy Steve Fest 2024  [FSF_24] (runs 1-7 Jul 2024)

I got a late start on this great event from @fluffystevefest  but still managed to fill six of the seven days before the event ended, posting all but one on the day of the prompt. I’m in the process of posting these to Ao3 and will share a masterlist once this is complete. 

* JULY 1: AFFECTION: Touch-Starved + Kisses - I combined these with my JBB  O3 - "We should take things slow." square for An Oasis in the Desert.      Steve's POV on reuniting with Bucky post CA:WS.  It came in at 140 words. 

* JULY 3: ERAS: Soldier + Icon - I combined this with my SRB D4 - Steve and the Stealth Suit for a 100-word drabble/moodboard combo (Not A) Perfect Soldier . I posted this self-reflective Steve POV drabble to Ao3 this morning.

*  JULY 4: BIRTHDAY - Wishes + Party - Combined this with my SRB  July Adoptable: "Happy Birthday, Steve!" and JBB N5 - Found Family squares for   A Vital Mission.   Natasha hijacks Steve for an ‘urgent Avengers matter’  and  birthday fluff ensues.   Originally posted to Tumblr and then tweaked and posted to Ao3 this morning, it came in at 388 words.  

*  JULY 5: BEDROOM Discreet Packaging + Aphrodisiac  - wrote A Plain Brown Envelope - a pre-war Stucky established relationship ficlet with implied sexual content. It came in at 166 words and will get posted to Ao3 next week.    

* JULY 6: CLOTHES:  Leather jacket + Someone else’s   Combined this prompt with my JBB I1 - "You can't do anything" square for Hell Bent for Leather.  This established Stony ficlet  featuring Tony teasing Steve via texts  came in at  225 words and will get posted to Ao3 next week.  

* JULY 7: STEVE'S ... :  Habits + First times + Happy ending. Combined this prompt with my JBB B4 - Flashback square and  BaBB July: Anxiety prompt for Coming Around Again.  This post CA:WS Steve & Bucky reunion  featuring a flashback to a hot evening in their pre-war apartment came in at 572 words and will get posted to Ao3 next week. 

Steve Rogers Bingo - Round 3 [SRB_R3] (ends  15 Jul 2024)

Twenty-six  fills (two adoptables) and one WIPs at the moment  - gonna try to  fill that last square for a natural blackout!   

* B5 - Magic Steve - combined this with last week’s  Flash Fiction Friday prompt [#FFF260 Fear is a Sickness ] for  Fighting Fire with Fire -  a Fantasy AU with apprentice spellcasters Steve & Bucky.  It came in at 216 words and will get posted to Ao3 before the event is over. 

* C5 - Exes to Lovers -   Working on a fic that will also fill the  BaBB May prompt: Wrong Number.   It’s sitting at 225 words - we’ll see if I can get it done in time.  

* D4 - Steve and the Stealth Suit -  See FSF  JULY 3: ERAS - Soldier & Icon  above. 

* July Adoptable: "Happy Birthday, Steve!"   - see FSF  JULY 4: BIRTHDAY - Wishes + Party  above.  

July Break Bingo [JBB_24] (runs 1-31 Jul) 

@julybreakbingo  is a fantastic any-fandom bingo event designed to spark creativity during the month of July! I’m combining squares with Hot Bucky Summer prompts and my Bucky Barnes Bingo card, as well as a few with the Fluffy Steve Fest and Steve Rogers Bingo -  check those sections for details!   As of now, I have 5 prompts filled and 3 in WIP form, with 14 others potentially planned. 

Hot Bucky Summer 2024 [HBS_R2] (Ends 31 Aug)

More fun from the @buckybarnesevents folks - this time weekly challenges to create (usually NSFW) Bucky-centric fanworks!   Thanks to the July Break Bingo (see above)  and Bucky Barrnes Bingo - I now have ideas/mini-outlines for each week of July.  

* Week 5 June 29th - July 5th:  “We’re...”  +  Friends with Benefits   Added second chapter to  Coming Clean on Friday. This is a WinterIron PWP with Steve joining in for some Stucky sexytimes.  This chapter is from his POV and combines a bunch of prompts: BaBB June:  Bratting and July: Friends with Benefits , BBB Y5 - Polyamory or open relationship and JBB  - B1 - "I made a mistake."  + O1 - Emotional and came in at a  hefty 1017 words.

* Week 6 July 6th - July 12th  - “I won’t be able to stop myself.”  + Gone Feral  Shifting ships here with a WinterHawk fic -  Alpha!Bucky is worried about going into rut after what Hydra did to him; omega! Clint comes up with a satisfying solution. (FYI-  the smut is fade to black).   Riding Out His Rut is drafted at 1544 words and  crosses over  with  BBB: Y4 - Cursed! &  JBB:  B2 - "I'm what's wrong." +  G1 - Aggressive + G3 +  Alt4 - Love as being present. It will post on the 12th. 

* Week 7 July 13th - July 19th -  “Put this on for me.” + Blindfolds  + Collars 

Going back to WinterIron for this - Tony trying to hide the results of a D/s scene gone; Bucky steps in to help. Crossing over with:  JBB O5 - "Where did you get this?"  + Alt1 - None of us want to be fully revealed. All our faults and weaknesses laid bare for the world. + Alt5 - Love as patience.   All Our Faults Laid Bare  is currently sitting at 810 words & am planning to post on the 19th.  

* Week 8 July 20th - July 26th -   “Maybe this'll help you relax”  + Cockwarming  Wartime -  Steve dealing with planning Howlies’ next mission  - doesn't have time to fool around. Bucky comes up with a way to let him do both. Potential crossovers with  BaBB June; Cockwarming, BBB: U1 - KINK: "Please let me come." & JBB:   O4 - I'm gonna remember this." + I4 - "Don't let me stop you." + N4 - Priorities

* Week 9 July 27th - August 2nd - FREE WEEK | Optional Prompts: WAM (Wet & Messy),

Steve post Rebirth  - copious amount of semen when he comes -  Bucky is 100% here for it.  Crossover with BBB: B4 - Showoff  JBB: I2 - "I feel disgusting." + N1- "Are you done?" + Alt2 - Love as passion 

* Week 11 August 10th - August 16th

 “You look good like this.” + Kneeling  + Tied Down  +  Ruined.  

Possibly Chapter 3   of  The Business of Pleasure -  backtrack with Steve POV?    See if any BaBB prompts fit.  

Hawkeyes Bingo [HB_R2] (Ends TBD) 

Working on this  Tumblr event - got a 3x3 card and and am looking forward to creating more  Clint-centric content and trying my hand at a bit of  Kate Bishop fic as well!    

* A3 - Awkward Flirting – this might be a good entry into my first femslash fic with Kate/Yelena?    

* B2 - FREE - using this toward  HBS Week 6 above.   

* C1 - Magic -  Combined this with a previous Flash Fiction Friday prompt  [#FFF259 House of Cards]   for   Keep a Steady Hand.  Clint notices Bucky getting frustrated with a task and offers to help.  It came in at 632 words and will post to Ao3 possibly later this month.  

Build-A-Bucky Bingo [BaBB_R1] (Ends 1 Sep 2024)

Another fun year-long  event from the folks at  @buckybarnesevents!  Each month there’s a list of prompts and you choose (at least) one  each month for your card!  At seventeen fills and two WIPs with five months to go, I seem to be going a bit overboard …. 😁

* May:  Bucky’s Trigger Words -  combined this with last week’s  Flash Fiction Friday prompt [#FFF251 Out There] for Just To Live One Day Out There - a Winter Soldier self-reflective ficlet. It came in at 312 words and will get posted to Ao3 Real Soon. 

* May:  Praise Kink - planning to fill this with Chapter Six of A Little Bit Carried Away where Alpha!Bucky and omega!Tony get to live out their fantasies.  It’s sitting at 754 words and will get posted later this month.  

* May: Wrong Number.  See SRB Exes to Lovers above 

* June:  Bratting - see HBS Week 5 above.  

* June: Cockwarming -  see HBS Week 8 above.   

* June: Touch Starved - see HB Magic prompt above

* July: Friends with Benefits - see HBS Week 5 above

* July: Anxiety - see FSF July 7 above 

WinterIron Bingo Round 2  [WIB_R2] (Ends 16 Dec 2024)

Signups are still open for pre-made cards for Round Two of this super-fun bingo event! I have fifteen  fills and zero WIPs at the moment - setting this aside for the moment, as I have other time-sensitive events going.  

* Iron Soldier (One Bingo, One Fill) - looking at combining my Column B prompts: Matchmaker, Bucky Riding Tony, Stark Gala, Inside Joke and Threesome.  Still working on a plot - if you have any suggestions/want-to-sees - let me know! 

* I3 - Car Sex -  Have a fun ficlet in mind for this - some of the dialogue & such already worked out in my head.   Possibly combine with JBB B3 - "You're in denial." or  B5 - "Wanna practice?"

*I4 - SHIELD HQ - combined this with the Flash Fiction Friday prompt [#FFF245 You Never Cared] and wrote Fathers Don’t Know Best  -  No Power AU with Bucky working as an analyst at SHIELD who stumbles across a late night visitor to the lobby.  It came in at 407 words and will get posted to Ao3 before the event ends.  

* N1 - Hair Pulling Kink -  thanks to a fun prompt from @scottxlogan  - I filled this square with Untangling Their Attraction - where Tony’s offer of assistance leads to mutual kink discovery (not as racy as it might sound).  It’s coming in at 544 words and will post to Ao3 before this event is over. 

* N5 - "I'm here for you."  - Possibly the next chapter of  Lady Natasha’s Consort and Lord Steve’s Companion ?  

Bucky Barnes Bingo - Round Six [BBB - R6]  (Ends 31 Mar)

This amazing bingo event from the folks over at @buckybarnesbingo is back!  I have seven   fills, and three WIPs and have several more crossovers planned. 

* B4 - Showoff - see HBS Week 9 above.

* U1 - KINK: "Please let me come."  - see HBS Week 8 above

* K4 - Last Times/Farewells - combined this with a previous  Flash Fiction Friday prompt [#FFF257 Count The Days ] for  Short-Timing It - a pre-war (just barely) Bucky & Steve (Stucky if you squint) ficlet. It came in at 313 words and will post to Ao3 before the event is over.   

* Y4 - Cursed!  - see HBS Week 6 above 

* Y5 - Polyamory or open relationship - see  HBS Week 5 above 

Warm and Fluffy   Bingo  [WFB]   (no end date)

Eight fills on my card, courtesy of   @warmandfluffybingocards  - need to try for another crossover or two!

* I2 - Vulnerable Drunk - matched this up with a previous Flash Fiction Friday prompt of [#FFF258 Milky Way Dreams]  for Sweet Dreams and Flying Machines -  a MIT-era Tony & Rhodey ficlet, where a drunk Tony shares a childhood dream with his best friend.  It came in at 318 words and will get posted to Ao3 at some point.   

====

On  other creative fronts:  I am working on two custom commissions: Flaps the Vulture and  Vincent Price..     

If  you’re looking for one of a kind gifts for birthdays or other celebrations, check  out Stuffed With Character    over on Facebook for a full list of my designs (now over 150!).   These soft stuffed figures are  mostly Marvel and monsters, but I have some Star Wars, Star Trek, DC   and Disney figures as well. Plus I love to take custom design   requests  for any fandom!

[inevitablysomber-dark]

Shackled (Chapter 12)

Dark! Rafe Cameron x Pogue! Reader

Warning: There are some intense, dubiously consenting and nonconsensual sexual themes in this series, MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY. MINORS DNI.

Summary: You hate Outer Banks with a passion and are working hard to get out despite all the obstacles in your way. Rafe himself eventually becomes one of those obstacles after a night of low impulse control. Will you be able to overcome him or with you have no choice but to submit.

Slow Burn

Series Masterlist

(Chapter Warning: There are depictions of physical abuse in this chapter. If this is something that makes you uncomfortable, please skip it)

You never realized how quickly one could hit rock bottom until it happened to you. 

The day started out routine for a Monday, but it wasn't. This was going to be your last week in Outerbanks. You didn't have to make your usual stop by Barry's to attain more product, so as soon as you got to the island, you headed straight home. 

You'd purchased two new suitcases and packed them as efficiently as possible, concealing your stash in the hidden feature of the suitcase before hiding both in your closet. 

You were leaving behind a lot, first, so that your father wouldn't get suspicious, and second because the new life you planned out required new things. 

Once you were done, you laid down and took the most peaceful nap you'd ever had. Waking up refreshed, well rested, and for the first time ever free. There was a bloom in your chest where your heart should be, and you were over the moon and stairs to finally taste freedom. 

You were so elated that you decided to do something you'd never thought to attempt. You wanted to explore the island, all of it, to see what you were leaving behind. 

First, deciding to thoroughly wander through the cut since that was where you resided. You bumped into Barry, who assumed you were there for more product. 

"I'm not here to buy. I was thinking of quitting the grind and doing more honest work, you know."

"You sure, sunshine?" he asked, except the look on his face wasn't one of disbelief; it was one of concern. "Instead of quitin', maybe we could just put you on some kind of short-term probation?" 

"I'm sure," you say, knowing he would miss the money you brought in. 

Barry pulls you into a hug and whispers into your ear, "be careful, sunshine." if you had paid any attention to the look on his face or even how tightly he held you in his arms, you should've known to take that as a warning rather than a voucher for good luck. 

Most of the day had been uneventful. When you went to figure 8, taking in all the big mansions, you were no longer annoyed by the stench of privilege in the air. Instead, you were at peace with yourself and where you were going. 

You knew most of the disdain you had for those who lived there came from the people who could leave the island but made an active choice not to while you were stuck. But you weren't stuck anymore. Instead, you felt terrible for them as their small thinking would ultimately ensure they would never leave. 

Excitement ran through your veins as you walked back towards the bridge, a car stopped next to you, and you heard someone shriek out your name; it was Ether. 

"Hey, where are you headed?" she asks.

"Home," you spent the entire day walking around the island. It was time for you to go home and hibernate for the next 4 days. 

"I was hoping I could talk with you. Do you wanna go to The Wreck?" she asks. 

You nod, hearing the name of the popular restaurant made you realize you were hungry. Ether was practically harmless compared to Mary, so what could happen?

***

Once you and Ether are seated, an awkward silence ensues as you both look over the menu. Your drinks are already ordered as you await the return of your waiter. 

"Listen," Ether places her menu down, taking a deep breath as if trying to find the courage to say what she needs. "I'm sorry."

You lift your brows, waiting for her to complete her sentiment as she looks at you for approval. 

"I know Mary and I hadn't been the most caring and attentive when it came to our friendship with you, and I can't speak for Mary, but I genuinely thought we were friends," her voice begins to shake " I didn't realize how unfair and cruel we were being to you until you pointed it out at the country club." 

You lean back against your chair, take Ether's apology, and nod. Ether was always more of a bystander when it came to your treatment within the dynamic of your friendship. It didn't excuse her actions, but it explained them. And as you stare at the giant doe eyes staring back at you with expectation, you realize there was no reason to make her sweat.

"I'm already over it," you say. 

She released a breath as if the world's weight had been lifted from her shoulders and wiggled her body with excitement.

The night goes swimmingly as you talk about everything, how you and Rafe had 'broken up,' how Mary was still trying to get into Rafe's bed, even telling her how your little relationship with Rafe had begun.

The atmosphere was light and freeing, you felt like you were talking to a genuine friend, and then she invited you to hang out again the following week.

"I won't be here next week," 

"Why not?" 

"I'm leaving Outerbanks... for good," 

Ether's eyes widen, and for a moment, understanding registers on her face before sadness takes over. 

"I'm sorry, I need to use the restroom, " she gets up from the table, pulling her purse to her side. "I'll drive you home, just wait for me in the car, and I'll be right there." she hands you her keys before rushing into the ladies' room.

Ether was always emotional, but you never expected that your leaving would affect her. 

As you walk out of the wreck, imagine your surprise when you see Rafe, Topper, and Kelce heading in. And like a predator on its prey, Rafe seemed to be locked in on you.

Just as you're about to walk past without incident, you feel a hold on your arm and look up to find a pair of blue eyes that have seen you at your most vulnerable. 

"Go grab us a table. I'll be right behind you,"

"I think it would be better if you all went in together,"

"This is your last chance," you're taken aback by his ominous response.

"Wha-," you start 

"Come back to me, right now, and I promise..." his hand tightens around your arm " I'll be good to you, I swear," you try to pull away, but he just grabs your other arm, strengthening his hold on you. 

"Rafe, I need you to let go of me," You look up to find desperation in his eyes, something rare in the kook prince. 

"I love you, a-and I know you love me too, you can deny it, but the way we make each other feel i-it's j-just next level. You can't just squash it because of a stupid disagreement,"

"It wasn't a stupid disagreement. It was a breach of trust. You followed me to my job and tried to make me quit," 

"You were a stripper. That's not a job. That's being a whore,"

"I don't know what to tell you, Rafe, because it paid the bills,"

"I told you I would take care of you,"

"And I didn't want you to. You have this weird need to control me, and I don't want to be controlled, least of all by you. It was nice living in your world for a while, but things were starting to get surreal, and I needed to nip it in the bud," 

Rafe takes a deep breath, trying to manage his anger.

"This is your last fucking chance. You either get in my fucking truck, I'll tell Kelce and Topper something came up, or I will fuck up your life." Out of nowhere, he pushed his lips against yours, frenetic energy overtaking as if he were trying to get you to reciprocate. 

The shock took time to register, but when it did, you managed to get him off you, bringing him back to reality with a slap against his cheek. 

"Get your shit together, and leave me the fuck alone," you manage to push him off before walking away. 

"Don't worry, you'll come back to me, and I'll be waiting right here with open arms," his voice getting louder as you walk further away. 

You needed to get away, asap.

When you reach Ether's car, you lock the doors as soon as you hop in.

A few moments later, Ether makes her way to the driver's seat.

"Let's go to the beach," she says as she starts the car. 

"What?" you ask 

You were still a little razzled by your run-in with Rafe, so the suggestion didn't quite register with you. 

"Let's buy some drinks, head to the beach, and chill a little," she said, backing out of the parking space before driving off. "It's your last week, and I feel like shit because I won't get a chance to redeem myself, so let's celebrate,"

"Ok," you nod, "let's do it,"

***

You were tipsy as you walked up to your porch, waving goodbye to Ether as she drove off. As you step in, you're greeted by the back of your father's head, watching something random on the television. 

You walk towards the step before his voice travels to your ears.

"Where are you going?" he asks, a slight slur in his, meaning he is either high or drunk. 

"Nowhere, dad. I'm just heading up to my room. Goodnight," you sigh. Another good thing about leaving was that you no longer had to rely on your father. The man deserved to be in jail or rotting in a ditch somewhere. But you needed him. He was a necessary evil in your life, and you were aware of that too early in your childhood. You were excited to finally be rid of him.

You walk up the steps into the hallway and towards your room. 

You hear him walk up the steps behind you as you approach your bedroom. Footsteps, heavy and dragging against hardwood. 

You notice your door is open, and when you look inside, you find a mess. The bed flipped over, your dresser and desk destroyed, but what caught your attention were your two new suitcases destroyed down to the fabric with your clothes strewn all over the place. 

You walk up to the one meant to hold your stash and find it has been through hell. The hidden feature is destroyed, and the money concealed within' is gone. 

"What the fuck?" you whispered, anger rising in your chest.

"I said, where the fuck are you going?" he asks behind. You could feel the smug intonation he held in his voice without looking at his face. He thought he had won. 

"What the fuck is your pr-?" you get up to face him, but before you can finish your sentence, you feel a fist crack against your face. 

The pain was excruciating as you held a hand over your nose and mouth, facing him for the first time that day. 

His pupils were dilated, and his face turned an unusual shade of red as veins corded throughout his face, neck, and arms. 

It was cocaine. 

If your father was in a good mood and got on the stuff, he'd just be bouncing off the walls. But if he was in a bad mood, it's like a rhino on steroids, so you'd best get out of the way. 

Unfortunately for you, you seemed to be the source of his anger.

He walks up to you, slapping you so hard across the head it crashes to the floor. 

He goes on to straddle your body, trapping you beneath him. 

"You think you can just walk up from here like your momma?" he starts throwing blows aiming for your head, " You think you can just let me suffer in this shithole by myself," he realizes that he can't quite get to your head if your arms are in the way, so he starts aiming for your body.

You do your best to block him, but every time you play defense, he hits yours harder in a place you've failed to protect. 

You were getting tired, but he seemed to have more energy as he bloodied you to a pulp. 

"I'm gonna put you six feet under this house, just like I did your fucking momma,"

You were going to die. 

Your arms fell from fatigue, which was basically a free-for-all for him. Blow after blow, the hits felt endless. 

It isn't until your head falls to the side, ready to accept your end, that you spot a loose metal rod lying on the floor from the broken bed. With as much energy as you can muster, you reach for it. As soon as it's in your grasp, you swing it against his head. 

Again, he falls off of you, once more to knock him out, and a last for good measure. 

He lies on the floor next to you, your body is throbbing, your face pulsing as your eyes swell shut. 

You begin to blackout, but you can't do it there. 

You pull yourself to your feet, limping out of your room, down the steps, and out to the front yard. Pausing along the way, praying that your father hadn't woken up in that time. Once you reached the fields leading to the main road, you could feel your body shutting down bit by bit. 

First, your lower body, then your trunk, and just as you pulled yourself out into the middle of the main road, your mind. 

For a moment, before the blackness could consume you, you thought you saw lights flash into your eyes.

[pbandjesse]

I really thought I wasn't going to be exhausted today. I was like I'm going to get home at 11 and the ln I'll just go to sleep normal and have a nice day off at home and get lots done. But I was a fool to think that!!

I did get home at 11. The event wrapped up pretty quickly and it was lovely working with everyone. There was a live auction and one of the prizes was a bunch of lottery tickets they stuck in a pumpkin. But the woman who won that was flying and so she didn't want the actual pumpkin so I got to keep it! Excellent. It was honestly larger then I should have been picking up but it's fine. I didn't drop it.

I got home and took a shower and was scrolling on my phone entirely to long. Just winding down. Hugging James. And eventually I was able to sleep.

It was honestly better sleep then I have had the last week. I woke up a few times but not as many and I think it's because I wasn't waking up to pee and then immediately drinking a ton of water every time because I was thirsty. But I did sleep a little better.

I woke up at 9. I don't even remember James leaving for work which made me a little sad. I was moving really slow this morning. But pretty quickly I was shocked awake because I got up and was like. Gotta plug in my phone. And immediately knocked over the new humidifier and spilled water all over my phone. Incredible way to start the day. I moved quick enough to rip my case off and dried it all off and it was fine just Jesus.

I took an excellent shower. I washed my hair and felt a lot more normal. I was sure I was full of energy and would have an excellent and productive day. But it didn't exactly work out like that.

I made the bed and wore cozy clothes. I went and had the breakfast sandwich James made me. I brought it upstairs and sat at my desk. It was a nice morning.

I would go downstairs to work on the sewing machine for a little bit. I got another color set of frog legs sewn. But I was not feeling sitting there so I gather one of my knit projects that needed sewing and brought it upstairs to work.

I did stop and checked on Crabcake. He has needed me to come and move him into the food bowl for him to eat. I think he's a little sleepy/bored as the house gets cooler. I will have to get him to walk around the room outside of his tank. Don't want him to be bored.

I would sit on the floor in our bedroom working on this floor mat project for a while. But after an hour I was just. So tired. I didn't really do much so I don't even understand why I became so overwhelmingly exhausted but it was wild. I was able to sew two rows closed and together. 3 more to go and I really wanted to finish that today but there was no way I was going to be able to keep going at that point.

I would lay down to watch a video. I was feeling very unwell and off. I was just not having a very good time. I would eventually fall asleep but it wasn't a very restful sleep. I woke up thirsty and tired and feeling weird.

I tried to shake it off. I drank water and moved downstairs and had a snack. I just wanted James to come home.

They were running late because of the event tonight. I was feeling a little better after my snack. I had the backdoor open and was working on .u temperature blanket. I have all the panels through the end of August put together now. I plan on getting all the yarn cut this week for September so I can work on that during our drive to Gabe's wedding weekend next week. Maybe I'll get October cut out too even though the total month won't be done. That's alright.

James would get home and I was not feeling great again. They came and cuddled me and it helped a little. They would make dinner. And we talked about baby. It's the 18th and the start of the 18th week. And I know I was feeling bad yesterday about everything but looking at the belly pictures I have been taking every Friday I am rounding out in the middle. So that's neat. I just really hope they are okay in there.

After dinner James would come and lay with me on the couch while they worked on editing their podcast. I was just scrolling on my phone. Eventually I would go lay upstairs because I needed different pillows. James would come up here eventually but they would go and hang a shelf on the stairwell (it didn't exactly fit so they had to cut it down a bit. Pictured above). But it should be good for displaying some of the Legos and other small sculptural things!

I would take a bath. And I put peppermint Dr Bronners in the water and so then I was so chilly after. But now I'm bundled in bed. Trying to be comfortable. I am just so tired.

Tomorrow I have a workshop at awah. I am a little confused about the layout but I'll figure it out when I get there. It should be a nice couple hours. And hopefully I am not to exhausted anymore.

I hope you all have a good night. Sleep well and be safe! Until tomorrow!

[caermorrighan]

Adapting your planning system for chronic illness

It took me way too long to work this out. But we're here now and that's what counts. Here is the revelation: if you are going to set yourself any kind of targets or goals and you have a chronic illness, you should adapt your system to account for that. Particularly if your chronic illness is less predictable.

Hi, I'm Morrighan and I've suffered from migraines for most of my adult life. And yet I was way too old when I realised I should add accommodations to my planning system for those migraines.

How I set goals

I tend to plan on a number of different horizons. But today I am going to talk about my daily planning. A key part of my system is that I am attempting to build daily habits. Things like write every day, exercise every day.

I do this by planning in advance (normally a week/month depending on the project I am working on). So at some point I will go to each of the daily pages for the next week or so and add targets for exercise, and a to do line to write.

You know what doesn't work well with a daily exercise target? Agonising pain. And with writing? The severe brain fog I get in the lead up to a migraine.

Accommodations

In education there is a practice called 'accommodations'. This is where you set up different arrangements to accommodate things like neurodiversity. A student with Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) might have difficulty regulating their attention. So the school might provide a quieter space to take an exam, with less distractions. They might provide a person to prompt the student if they seem to be getting distracted.

This, and many other tools, are provided because the education environment is rarely suitable for the neurodiverse. A student with ADHD will find it challenging to concentrate for two hours in a row because their brain chemistry simply does not support it.

Do those accommodations go far enough? No. But that's a whole different conversation. What I want you to think about is - do you offer yourself that same grace?

Because I didn't.

Planning and migraine

My migraines are currently unpredictable in terms of when they occur. The only thing that is consistent is the progression - brain fog leads to pain which leads to a 'hangover'. If I catch it early enough, I can skip the pain part. But since the brain fog is the only advanced clue I get so there is no way to avoid that part.

I know, and have known for years, that migraine is one of the biggest challenges to meeting goals I set. All my plans start well, and then the migraine hits, and it all falls over.

Repeat.

I know its not my fault. I can't avoid these migraines (I know what my triggers are). But it still triggers a negativity spiral. I still view it as failing. It still is a day of 'progress' that is left blank.

And so, my solution is accommodations. Which I have also planned.

When a migraine hits I now review my tasks and remove certain items from the list. There is no point trying to do something clever during severe brain fog - I'll only have to do it again later (all the while going 'what the hell was I even thinking?'). I can't drive during brain fog - my reactions are too slow.

So I go through and mark them as done. I class them as complete.

That sounds odd. I didn't do the task. But I've realised that tracking your failures is bad. Negative consequences have a disproportionate effect on how we feel and, as detailed in Ali Abdaal's Feel Good Productivity, we are more likely to get things done when we feel good, and much less likely to if we feel bad. A small failure can very easily become a doom spiral. I missed 3 days of a target, so a 4th doesn't really matter. Or, even worse, I missed 3 days and now I need to catch up, but I don't have time, and so I can't face trying and 3 days becomes 4, 5, 6 ... 3 days missed is 3 dents to your confidence that you can do the thing. All of these add up to failure. Not because you didn't do the thing (which was probably a very minimal loss in the grand scheme of things), but because you felt so bad about it, that it actually blocked your progress.

If its a regular habit kind of task, then I just move on. If its part of a project, I'll add the task back into my backlog. Key point here - don't add it onto the next day. I've already planned the next day. I can't just add more to it and hope it will work (it won't).

As you write it, this will feel odd. But in a few weeks you'll find you can't even remember what day it was you had the migraine on unless you wrote that down.

Reframing your planning horizon

Going a step further, you also need to build those accommodations into your planning horizon. If, once or twice a month, I am going to lose 3 days for writing, then I should assume I will be unable to write on 6 days of the month. And likely, because of my life, there will be a couple of other days where I can't write. So I plan to write every day and assume I will achieve that on 20 days in a month.

I will still write the prompt down each day. Say I managed to write on 24 days. If I write on 24/20 days, I feel good. If I write on 24/30 days, I feel bad. Its the same number of days, but it can have a radical effect on my state of mind.

The goal of planning is to achieve those plans. To do that, you need to plan accommodations for the things that will derail those plans.

Depending on the symptoms, I have written down a list of changes I will make to my day. And I plan for the things that are likely to happen in advance when I look at the number of things I can do in a given time frame. It works for me by keeping me in a positive flow rather than a doom spiral. Maybe it will help other people as well.

[missiletoe]

very backlogged on the ao3 comments, thank u everyone for commenting <3 and will get around to answering them at some point o7 (hopefully this weekend, maybe next though)

have some more kittyuri in the meantime for the yuri shipping olympics!! i also cooked another kittyuri last night that i will formally link on tumblr at some point and i have an alien stage crack fic actor AU that is literally 99% done but i have been putting off edits for a week now so stay tuned!!

Prompt: “The two of you look cute together. I think you should go for it.” “That’s not what I meant!” “My point still stands.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Q!” Kitty screams at the top of her lungs. There’s the sound of boxes falling in the distance. “IT’S AN EMERGENCY!”

Q comes barreling out of the bedroom and sticks the landing on Minho’s new shipment of Ultra-Rare-Hygienic-Made-From-Fairy-Tears-Probably skincare products. Thank god she won’t be around for the aftermath.

“Good morning, Kitty,” Q says as the afternoon sun beats down on him through the window. His pants are on backwards and he looks like he hasn’t slept in days. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Kitty screams because she thinks that’s the best way to express the news. Q jumps a foot in the air in response.

“Yuri asked me out!” she shrieks.

“The two of you look cute together. I think you should go for it.”

“That’s not what I meant!”

“My point still stands. Okay, slow down.” Q mimics deep breaths like they’re in a grade-school level health class. Kitty doesn’t like the sarcasm but appreciates the gesture. “Start from the beginning. Tell me what happened.”

“I-I don’t know,” she replies, rolling her wrist. “We were just talking and I think I told her she was pretty or something–I mean, she’s always pretty, it’s like saying the grass is green or the sky is blue, did you know the other day–”

“Kitty.”

“Right. Staying on track! I don’t know, it was all out of the blue and then she laughed and she looked at me and it was like one of those slo-mo shots in a romcom and she asked if I wanted to go out with her and I asked her where and then she said no, silly, do you want to be my girlfriend and then I panicked.”

Q closes his eyes slowly like he’s been slapped across the face. 

“Okay, that was a lot but that’s good! When did this happen? And where?”

Kitty glances quickly at the door. Q groans and slaps one hand over his forehead.

“Kitty, you didn’t.”

She gives a garbled noise of protest in response.

“I’m sorry, I don’t speak Ukrainian. What I’m sure you’re trying to say though is that you definitely did not slam the door in Yuri’s face after she confessed to you–especially after I had to struggle through a year of watching you hopelessly pine, right?”

“Actually, I asked her for 1-3 business days to think about it.”

“KITTY!”

“Can’t you frame it in a more positive light?” she hisses. Now that Q’s pointed out the door, she’s hyper-aware of it–or more accurately, what’s behind it.

“There is no light that can save this situation!” Q yells back. Wonderful, the whole floor’s probably heard the news by now. Kitty Song Covey is a bisexual disaster who doesn’t have a single thing right in her life–not her grades, not her understanding of her culture and definitely not her love life.

“It’s fine.” Q’s pacing now and it’s not a good pacing. It’s more of an anxious stomping that looks like it’s gonna leave dents in the carpet. “It’s fine! Yuri’s spent a year with you. She knows what you’re like and she still asked you out, which means she likes you for you and I’m sure that slamming a door in her face won’t change that.” They both stare at the dorm door that suddenly looks like it’s looming over the room. “I hope.”

“Okay, moving on. Why didn’t you say yes? You’re clearly crazy about Yuri. And Yuri’s apparently just as crazy about you.”

“I don’t know, Q.” Kitty pushes aside a notebook to make room for her to sit on the counter. It’s probably Minho’s. It makes her feel less bad about the way it falls into the sink. “It’s been a year and I still don’t know if I’m gay or bi or pan or… something else entirely!” Kitty slaps a fat stack of paper on the dining table for emphasis–a physical copy of the Lesbian Masterdoc, courtesy of one crappy KISS Academy printer. “I don’t even know if I like girls! I mean, Yuri’s the only girl that I’ve ever felt like this about… I think?”

Q sticks one hand out into the Kitty-tornado swirling around him.

“Kitty, understanding your sexuality is a process. It’s not always a static thing–sometimes things happen and you learn something new about yourself. And sometimes, the thing you discover at the end of researching all these labels is that you don’t actually like any of them! And that’s totally fine. You don’t need every detail about yourself figured out before you jump into a relationship.”

Kitty blinks up at him wordlessly.

“Kitty, do you like Yuri?” Q asks, and it’s really more of a formality than anything. Kitty nods and thinks it doesn’t even come close to expressing her affection. “Then that’s really all you need.”

“Okay,” Kitty says as she pushes herself off the counter. She’s hopping from foot-to-foot like one of those boxers warming up in the ring before the fight. Q’s in the coach’s corner, hyping her up. “Okay, I can do this!”

Kitty flings open the door to a startled Yuri, still leaning against the wall from where Kitty left her 20 minutes ago.

“Yes, I’ll marry you! Ah, wait, no I meant I’ll go out with you! Please let me be your girlfriend, I promise I won’t mess up this much!” She’s half-sobbing by the end and Yuri nearly doubles over from laughter.

“Is she always like this?” she asks Q.

“You know it.”

“I do.” Yuri looks up at her and there’s that smile again that makes the world melt away. “It’s what I like about her.”

[vlccinstitute33]

VLCC Institute Facial Gua Sha

Gua sha is an ancient Chinese technique which helps in healing the chronic pain for a better health. This is a natural therapy which involves scraping your skin with a crystal stone to improve your circulation. Gua means scrape and sha means sand, this has been used for thousands of years.

Gua sha is done aggressively on the body but is done very gently on the face. Gentle scraping movement is repeatedly done on the face to remove stagnated fluids which carry the toxins. Gua sha encourages collagen production. It helps in sculpting and toning the face naturally. It reduces the tension from the muscles and also reduces inflammation.

The amazing benefit of gua sha is that it can be used by all ages and skin types.

 Drains out the lymph fluid which often carries the toxins and thus helps in cleansing the skin.

 Helps in releasing the tensions from the muscles.

 Helps in de-puffing the face.

 Helps in de-puffing the under eyes which aids in eliminating dark circles.

 Improves skin elasticity.

Plumps the skin and gives a natural glow to the skin.

Reduces the acne.

Increases microcirculation.

Reduces the appearance of fine lines and wrinkle.

Gives relief from headache.

Because this is a natural healing remedy, gua sha is completely safe. However one must consider the following points before performing gua sha on your face or body:

As it involves scraping method, the tiny blood vessels on the skin surface may tend to burst and cause bruising.

Do not perform gua sha if you have just got done Botox.

Avoid gua sha, if you had surgery in last six weeks.

Avoid doing it on active acne and open lesions.

People who have blood clotting disorders should stay away from gua sha.

First choose the right tool for gua sha. You have so many crystals which come in different sizes and shapes. Every crystal is unique as they are natural stones. Always opt for an original crystal rather than plastic mixed stone, as the plastic irritates your skin. These tools are pricey but are very effective in giving you the desired results with consistent use.

Follow these steps to do Facial Gua Sha:

To begin with, wash your hands and face then make sure to apply generous amount of oil so that the stone can easily glide on the skin without causing any tugging and pulling of the skin.

Simple rule to do facial gua sha is to follow the flow of lymphatic system. This helps in draining out the toxins.

The movement should be very slow and gentle on the skin & the tool should be held flat at a 15 degree angle to make full benefit of the stone.

Start from neck area because you hold lot of muscle tension in that area. Start sweeping the stone towards the direction of lymph node. Repeat it at least 3 to 10 times for the actual action.

Next sweep up on both the sides of neck (you can refer the picture provided for guidance).

Sweep from under the chin to the earlobe ending as you have lymph node here which helps in filtering the toxins.

Sweep from mid chin to the jaw line.

Sweep under the cheek bone for a sculpted look.

Sweep under the eyes, this helps against dark circles.

Sweep over the eyebrows, there is a lot of tension here because of frequent facial expressions.

Sweep from between eyebrows towards the hairline and from mid forehead to the hairline.

 Now finish the session by completely sliding all the collected fluids at the sides to the neck which assist in lymphatic drainage.

AFTER CARE

After the session clean the tool with a mild cleanser, dry and sanitize. You can recharge the stone by keeping it under the full moon. You can use this stone for lifetime unless it breaks. Store the stone wrapping it up in a soft cloth. Drink lots of water after the gua sha which aids in fast lymph movement. Also rehydrates your skin and body. You can do gua sha almost every day. Do it consistently to see the results. This helps in maintaining your skin health.