#procreates is good too because it records the whole thing and then you have the option of having the recording when youre done

[puppyeared]

speeddraw test (sound on!)

song is good magicians by sidney gish

[lesbiansforboromir]

so i've seen a lot of people here on tumblr say that Elves are a inherently morally superior race, what do you think about that? it doesn't ring quite right with me but i don't know what would *disclaim* it, idk. sorry

BRO.... LISTEN... it's one of my most hated aspects of fandom. Like this whole 'elven society is a utopia, not like those dirty humans and all their dumb shit' is.. on SO many levels both canonically wrong and also thoroughly playing into the incredibly warped (and racist!) morality system in lotr. 

So, the book AND the film (though the film seems content to completely paint elves as perfect and is likely the most to blame for this idea) describe elves as good, blessed, wise etc etc. Many characters, when experiencing elves, feel like they’re in a trance of their beauty and are amazed and dazzled by their presence. But! Elves in Middle Earth have... essentially the same moral record as humans do! They infight, they make mistakes, they do callous things ect. Gildor abandons Frodo to his road despite him knowing more than enough to understand he is in mortal danger. Haldir singles out Gimli as the only untrusted one in the fellowship and threatens to kill him if he tries to leave, despite Gimli being entirely courteous. Galadriel and Celeborn essentially usurped the ruling of Lorinand, changing it’s name and changing the languages spoken there to suit their perceptions and desires. And this is not to mention everything that happened in the First Age. Elves are in no way perfect creatures! But, they are somewhat treated that way so, why?

Well it is this concept of racial divinity, or as I like to say 'the elves are biologically catholic'. Because the place you have to put yourself in is one of good = 'faithful', ie in a religious sense. The morality Tolkien is talking about is catholic morality, which is where we get 'Denethor was prideful because he thought he could see into the future (ie looked at the situation and made a rational calculation) and also suicide is prideful, you're taking away gods hand in your fate' and also 'don't have sex except for when you want children and are in love' and also 'everyone has their place and their appointed task and it is for the good of everyone that they play this task' I could go on but you get the idea. 

Basically, the morality Tolkien is talking about is not what we would now consider to be the height of morality, unless you do believe in this sort of thing. So it is better described as Catholicism than morality, hence, Elves (who have biological imperatives that enforce, for example, sex only for procreation and are married the moment they have sex etc) are biologically catholic. And everything they do is blessed, unless! An elf is ‘corrupted’. There is actually a section in NoME which says that elves are monogamous, have sex only with love and children in mind ect UNLESS they are ‘corrupted’. This was where my joke ‘only evil elves can have gay sex’ comes from. So you can see how this version of morality is already pretty uncomfortable to play into right? 

But this is also seen in the concepts of 'Men of darkness' vs 'Middle men' vs 'high men'. These are not moral designations, in middle earth you are born into them and you cannot change to which you belong, but they have intensely moral implications. (Whole societies are implied to gradually be able to change their designation over time, but one individual cannot and these changes must happen in the presence or absence of ‘holiness’. So Gondor ‘became like middle men of the twilight’ without the presence of divinely ordained kings and then became ‘high’ again once Aragorn became king.) 

The men of darkness are polygamist for a start, they ‘worship sauron’ and are forever classed as evil, Aragorn ‘subjugates the south’ which we are all supposed to agree is a good idea. Faramir says that middle men are too enamoured with battle, noble in their own way but not high minded. 'Righteous Pagan' is the term often thrown around, especially by catholic tolkien scholars. And the High Men come from Numenor, build great empires, are the cleverest and most advanced and live the longest. But! Numenoreans are in no way morally superior, they had a slave trade, they deforested Middle Earth, they colonised middle earth after Numenor’s destruction. The thing that sets them apart is that they are ‘faithful’, for a long time they had great friendship with the elves and they all believed in Eru’s divine right as the one true god over all creation. They also lived closer to ‘heaven’, so much so that they could see Tol Eressea from Numenor some days. 

I could get into all the complex narratives surrounding righteousness and the dethroning of god and uncorrupted vs corrupted earth etc and how that is related in Numenor’s rise and fall, but we don’t need to go into that for now. The point is believing in and being faithful to ‘god’ (eru) is good and not believing in him is a corruption and makes you bad. But elves are essentially born with the inherent knowledge that Eru exists, many of them have met his servants and seen his work on the world and they all know he IS the ‘one true god’. Whether or not they agree with his servants is neither here nor there, Feanor made his oath TO Eru, as if he believed the Valar were separate from him. An elf is corrupted if they defy Eru’s will, but that is rare and never comes alongside the idea that Eru doesn’t exist or is in some way an imposter to the throne of Arda. Elves are biologically catholic! And that means they are good, regardless of their actual actions.

This is most blatantly expressed in one of Tolkien’s letters (letter 183 if you’re curious), which states; In The Lord of the Rings the conflict is not basically about 'freedom', though that is naturally involved. It is about God, and His sole right to divine honour. The Eldar and the Númenóreans believed in The One, the true God, and held worship of any other person an abomination. Sauron desired to be a God-King, and was held to be this by his servants;† if he had been victorious he would have demanded divine honour from all rational creatures and absolute temporal power over the whole world. So even if in desperation 'the West' had bred or hired hordes of orcs and had cruelly ravaged the lands of other Men as allies of Sauron, or merely to prevent them from aiding him, their Cause would have remained indefeasibly right.

So, in essentials, Elves and Numenoreans could be entirely cruel and brutal, but so long as they are still fighting for Eru’s divine right, it would all still be ‘in the right’. Which is why, in the story, we have this seeming contradiction of Elves being revered as perfect, whilst displaying a great deal of imperfect behaviours. It’s because morality is not what is being discussed (ie kindness to others, not tolerating unjust violence, respect for all and such) it is divine perfection. Elven society is necessarily homophobic, it is misogynistic, it is racist, it is everything a human society can be and more, especially because these views are so baked into their culture that they appear to be biologically and spiritually enforced. And it definitely is spiritually enforced too! Finwe needs to request Manwe’s permission to wed again, which pretty much confirms that these aspects are divinely demanded. 

Now, of course, fandom can do what they like in terms of changing and ignoring these aspects to suit the natural wish for the main supposedly ‘good’ characters to actually be good as we understand it. But simply deciding that the elves are biologically ‘moral’ instead of biologically ‘catholic’ is doing nothing to subvert these issues and is in fact playing directly into very racist ideas whilst sweeping their roots within the text under the rug entirely. You cannot BE biologically moral, one race cannot be more inherently moral than another race and humans are not all stupid, cruel and inferior as a rule. I hope it’s clear why deciding that a race can be morally superior over another is racist ideology, especially when that supposedly morally superior race is also ‘the most beautiful’ in the eyes of a white writer. 

[thran-duils]

Lost in Your Current (P.2)

Title: Lost In Your Current (Part Two) Summary: Fem!Reader x Dark!Tony Stark. After the snap, the team realizes that certain males were given Alpha status and certain females were assigned as Omegas, all across the galaxy, as a way to control procreation. Only Omega can give birth now. Both are marked and their DNA is tied through their marks. Tony lost Pepper and fell into depression after being rescued by Carol. Even the information that he could have happiness again could not pull him out. Until the loneliness and his new Alpha gene got to be too much. When Steve contacts him that his Omega had been found, Tony cannot resist to collect her. Words: 3,044 Warnings (for the whole fic): Dub-con, a/b/o elements, smut, forced mating, 18+ as always For this chapter specifically: FORCED. MATING.

Part One || Part Three || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

“He’s probably gotten cabin fever and the opportunity for bonding drove him to this,” Carol said, trying to be diplomatic.

“It is alpha arrogance is I what it is! I thought they – Steve and Tony and every other man I worked with that have been afflicted – were insufferable before. This just makes it all that much worse! Thinking they know what’s best and the fucking obnoxious over confidence!” Natasha spat.

Her and everyone else had woken up hours after Tony had left with Y/N. She had immediately gone to the security recordings and saw Tony entering Y/N’s room, cornering her, and knocking her out. As she fell, he activated his suit, holding her up until he could pick her up when the suit was done building around him. He used the suit to blow a hole through the wall with one of his repulsors and left the building that way, cradling Y/N. ‘He couldn’t have used a goddamn door like a normal person?’ Natasha had spat when she saw that.

She turned away from the security recordings and took a deep breath.

“Maybe it’ll be fine. Y/N was on her way to weaning off,” Carol pointed out. “Not the most chivalrous ways to go about collecting her but when she wakes up, she may be comforted by Tony’s presence. That’s the way with Omegas isn’t it? Just having him nearby will calm her.”

Natasha shook her head and pierced Carol with a stony look. Carol closed her mouth, seeing that.

Natasha started firmly, “He should have listened to me! What is more likely to happen is that he’s going to fall into a rut and then he’s going to lose control. Which means he is going to hurt her if she struggles which she is likely to do considering she is not in heat! Or off her suppressants completely in the first place, so even if she’s drawn in by him, it’s not going to be the same as if she was presented to him clear and clean. It’s not going to be good!”

“It worked out with Steve’s omega.”

“Steve locked her away – just like Tony is going to do – and I’m sure the coupling was not gentle. I saw the ghosts of bruises on her cheek and shoulder!”

“Oh…”

Carol had not gone with Natasha to check up on them and Natasha had refrained from divulging those details before.

“Should we go up to his place?” Carol asked quietly. “Get her back?”

Natasha sighed, leaning against the desk, her eyes fixated on the replay of Tony taking Y/N, seriously considering it.

Finally, she admitted, “No. That’ll just make it worse.” She slammed her hand on the desk and stood up straight. “That stupid son of a bitch! The only good thing is that we know she’s going to be safe up there in general with him because he won’t let harm come to her.”

<><><>

You woke in a luxurious bed, stretching out. Your face rubbed against the silk pillowcases, and you sighed in contentment. You sat up immediately realizing you were in a room you did not recognize. Eyes darting, you took in the wall of windows, spotting the tall trees outside and evening fog. And the large flat screen television mounted on the wall across from the bed. It was a room of wood, you realizing you were in a cabin.

The room seemed familiar though.

More accurately…. The scent was familiar. It was all over the bed.

You looked down, pulling the covers completely back, finding yourself in a t shirt and boxers. That was not what you had been wearing. You had been wearing a hospital gown…

The hospital.

It came back to you.

Not a hospital, a facility. Government secret. Natasha Romanoff, along with SHIELD, had had you under surveillance as you came off your suppressants. And then… Tony.

Your eyes looked around the room again, nervous energy thrumming beneath your skin. Where was Tony? And more importantly, where were you?

Slowly pushing the blankets back, you swung your legs over the side of the bed and your feet hit the sheepskin rug running along the side of the bed. You nestled your toes into the softness as you pushed yourself up.

A thought came to you suddenly and your hand slapped up to your neck. No. It had not been penetrated, your mating spot. You thought again of how you were in different clothes and what strength that must have taken him to dress you without taking you. Yet, you could scent him on your skin. He had not resisted touching you.

You stepped off the rug and the hardwood creaked. You grimaced but what did you expect? You took more steps towards the windows, looking down out over the yard. Dusk would fall soon. There was a vast lake, partially hidden by large trees further out. Some deer were grazing in the yard. There was no one in sight and that set you further on edge. You did not want to be alone.

Pulling away from the window, you turned to go towards the bedroom door.

Halfway down the staircase, you saw Tony sitting at the table. And he was already looking up at you, eyes piercing. You stopped on a dime, straightening up, hand gripping the iron railing. He was waiting and you took the bait.

“Where are we?”

“Our cabin.”

“‘Our’ cabin?”

Tony did not miss the resistance in your voice. He closed the hologram he was working on, fully focusing on you. “Yes. Ours… now.”

You scanned the rest of the ground floor, what you could see of it. It truly was just the two of you. You descended the rest of the stairs, keeping a wary eye out. Tony could sense your unease.

He gestured at the seat beside him. “Here. I’ll get you something to eat. Sit.”

You slowly sunk into the chair watching him as he got up and went towards the fridge. He was tense, you could see that in his shoulders. Both of you were on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop. But the tenseness in him… that was setting the hair on your arms on end. He was worked up… too worked up.

Still, you sat still, not wanting to antagonize him any further.

He brought back a plate with hardboiled eggs and fruit, placing it in front of you. He must have peeled the eggs beforehand in anticipation of feeding you.

“Thank you,” you said gently, pulling the plate towards you.

Tony’s hand reached out, brushing yours, tracing up. And you froze. He merely inhaled deeply as his hand fell away. He had scented you again.

Oh. He was most certainly worked up about you. You knew your cycle was due, the worst time for you to be coming off of your suppressants. And he had put you in his bed, scented your skin with his sheets and his own hands to mark you as his. A warning if there happened to be any Alphas around, which you doubted. But he was possessive. You were destined to be his after all.

“Toast?” he asked.

You gave a curt nod. He set to make that for you, and you kept your eyes on his back as you bit into the egg.

<><><>

He fell asleep later in the evening and you pulled yourself off the couch. He had insisted you sat close as the two of you watched a movie. He was trying to court you, something unnatural for him you assumed having known his reputation throughout the years. He was a celebrity, how could you not know?

He did not stir, and your eyes went to the door.

<><><>

Moments after the screen door closed, FRIDAY piped up on Tony’s watch, startling him awake.

“Sir, your guest utilized the front door.”

Tony turned towards the door, shaking his grogginess. Y/N was indeed not in the cabin, and he got up from the couch quickly, moving towards the door. Rage was quickly overtaking as he thought of her trying to leave him.

<><><>

You were bolting towards the dock and came to a stop at the end of it. It was vast. And you could not spot any other houses along the lake from here. You had no hope of escaping this remote place without his help. He held the keys to the boat in the boat house and to his car.

You were truly stuck here.

“Y/N!” you heard his voice bellow across the yard.

Whipping around, you saw him quickly closing the distance.

Your heart started to hammer, realizing what you had probably done to him. You had come out to check your surroundings without him watching over your shoulder. But by sneaking off, you had certainly flamed his Alpha, causing him to fly into a rut at your absence. Even further than it had been before. You had been warned about this in the underground; it was dangerous to do this, especially to your Alpha you had been destined with.

Without much thought, you dove off the dock and swam to try to hide yourself in the brush along the lake. Hoping pathetically that the scent of the water would do some to hide you from him until you could find a clear path back inside and lock the door until he calmed down.

Your lungs were bursting but you did not surface again until you were beneath the branches overreaching the lake to the right of the dock. You did your best to keep quiet. You heard him calling your name angrily, his pacing on the dock. He could not tell which direction you had swam to, the right or to the left to the boat house.

Through the branches, you clung to one, watching him as you floated.

He looked furious, territorial. His eyes were searching for the lake and in the succumbing darkness, you knew it was harder for him to see if you had surfaced anywhere.

Stupid.

You should have waited longer to go wandering.

But if you had waited longer, you may have also been mated. You had been stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Tony started storming back up the dock towards land and went to the left towards the boat house. When he disappeared inside, you crawled out of the lake, your bare feet sinking into the mud as you made your way back through the shrubbery and back into the yard.

You gasped when you set off a motion sensor light and your head whipped towards where the boathouse was. It was only a split second before he emerged again, eyes directly at you.

“Y/N!” he called out threateningly as he took off towards you, his tone woven with his Alpha tone.

It was powerful. You felt your knees go weak upon hearing it. He must have studied up, practiced. Tony Stark was not a stupid man by any means, and he had no doubt been given intel about how the Alpha and Omega connections worked. Or maybe he was just a natural.

Regardless, you fought against your jelly legs as he was gaining on you. He was getting close and you swore at yourself loudly in your head, tearing away from the spot as you gained control again. He let out a roar of frustration as you sprinted away from him.

You tried to run back inside. You flew up the stairs, breath short. You felt his hand at your back, grabbing hold of the fabric. You stumbled as he yanked, and it slowed your movement. With a rough tug, you lurched forward though, and your hand was on the screen door, throwing it open. You did not care to try to close it as you came into the cabin, hand landing on the edge of the door. You went to slam it closed.

Tony was too quick though, barreling straight into it, coming in through the still wide-open screen door.

You were sent spiraling onto your backside with his force. Tony was on you in the blink of an eye, pawing. His knees were on the outsides of your thighs, holding you down to the ground.

“Y/N! Stop it!” he demanded, his hands gripping your wrists painfully to stop your thrashing.

Panting, you stared up at him, stilling your movement. His chest was rising and falling rapidly, eyes blown wide from lust. At the sight of you still, a possible sign of acceptance, he ground his hips slightly as he tested your temperament out. He was so close. And he smelled so good and was holding you so tightly. It was what he was supposed to do and what you were supposed to do was obey him. He wanted to mate.

Supposed to.

You took the opportunity that he was distracted to yank a hand towards you, and you bit his hand roughly.

He shouted angrily, letting go, pulling back. It gave you the momentum to toss him off of you and you scrambled away from him. You almost lost your footing on the hardwood, but you regained it quickly. Another Alpha roar tore from his throat, sending a wave of dismay through you that your Alpha was upset and upset with you specifically. You were panicking as you heard him following you. Circling the stairs, you went to go up them. You could lock yourself in the bedroom. The door was heavy and that could hold him until he calmed down enough.

Tony’s hand closed in on your calf as you took to the stairs, and he yanked you back. You collided with the stairs painfully on your stomach and elbows, the air forced from your lungs on the impact, and he was holding you there suspended on the bottom of the stairs.

“Making me hurt you,” he snarled as he struggled with you. “Why can’t you just be good like you’re supposed to?”

“Alpha!” you begged pathetically.

That only drove him more insane. Tony groaned, tearing your boxers down your thighs, and yanking them off from around your feet.

You tried to scramble away again, a hand slapping on the next stair up, but he barked, “Omega!”

That caused you to freeze, your hormones overwhelming you. It was so hard; your soon-to-be mated brain was clashing with you. You were in pain, fighting him. Not just physically but mentally. Your body wanted to give in so badly; you were already wet. But your sensible side was pleading with you to fight back.

Tony’s fingers were in your pussy and your sensible side was quickly becoming overshadowed. Alpha was holding you tightly, working you up, prepping you like he should. Just so he could take care of you. You were safe in his embrace. You felt his hard cock pressing at your thighs.

No no no no. You were pulling away again. Or tried to.

Tony hiked your hips up and he drove himself home. You squirmed, trying to get away from his grip, to pull away so his cock was not in you. Tony responded angrily. He fought you, pinning you tighter against the stairs with his weight.

“You want this Omega, you need this,” he breathed shakily, his cock pulling slowly in and out. You were becoming more wet, giving him lubrication. It felt like you were adjusting specifically for him, his cock fitting perfectly inside you, no matter how deep he went. Your body was betraying you, responding to him and not yourself. And he was taking advantage of it to the fullest. He groaned as he buried himself again to the hilt this time. “So tight, Omega. You’re mine. All mine. Always going to be mine.”

The sound of your slick and his pelvis bouncing off of your ass filled the space.

Yes. Yes. You arched your back and it allowed him to drive deeper, drawing a groan of approval from him. You melted underneath the sound of it.

His. You were Alpha’s. You were sinking beneath the fog that had threatened to overtake you. You were desperate to please him. Your fingers spread out on the stairs as you relaxed ever so slightly, letting him drive easier up into you even further.

Alpha was happy with that.

“What did I say? See? You want it. So badly. Mine. Mine,” Alpha was giving broken husks of praise as he drove himself into you. “Perfect for me.”

It felt so good, you were drowning in his scent.

You pressed back onto him for more, but he took that as a threat and he let out a low, rumbling growl. You stopped the pressure, whimpering in submission.

Alpha was not having it though, his hand holding tighter. You felt the tightness in your core and you were quickly becoming breathless as you felt the oncoming wave.

<><><>

Tony’s hold on her neck was going to bruise, he sensed that even above his Alpha rut. But he simply did not care. She had fought back, tried to run, disobeyed him above everything else. She was never going to do that again. He was going to make sure of that.

His teeth dug into her mark, and she cried out. She tasted as sweet as she smelled to him. His cock brushed her sweet spot and she whined. It was a siren song and he fell under the wave of it.

She went lax, whimpering. He practically purred at the physical submission.

Finally.

“So good, Omega. Taking me so well,” Tony praised against her neck, much to her pleasure. She loved praise, that much he had discerned. He kissed roughly as he worked her up. Her breath was becoming short, and he knew she was close. He was so eager to fill her up.

He moved quicker feeling her so close now that he had bit. And she fell quickly, quivering around him, crying out in release. The tightness was too much. His cock was thickening, and he moaned.

“Gonna breed you, Omega. You’re going to be so beautiful, round with my child,” Tony husked against her neck. She whined needily and he let go, fully seated inside her, coating her walls. His groan was loud and long.

~~~

Marvel tags: @coconutqueen21 @undecidedsworld @holl2712 @agustdowney  @biiskuitx @buttercupfangirl

[kyidyl]

Kyidyl Does Archaeology - Part 3

(As before, parts 1 & 2 can be found via the KyidylCL tag.)

THE PITS

So, we’ve got the info about the site and we’ve got the prep work done, so what next? Digging! But archaeologists don’t just randomly dig, we dig in very precise ways. There’s, generally speaking, two ways to make a hole for an archaeologist (and this *doesn’t* apply to burials.  Burials are done differently.): a pit and a trench.  A pit is usually a specific size and meant to uncover a small area.  A trench is a long area that takes a cross section of a specific area and is meant for exposing lots of area.  When you’re doing a whole settlement often a trench is used because of the volume.  We’re doing a mixture, and we started with two 5ftx5ft pits (~1.5 meters for the non-americans in the crowd.  Good rule of thumb for ft --> meters is that 3ft = 1 yard = 1 meter, approximately.  It’s not exact but if you’re trying to imagine how big something is, it’s a good way of thinking about it.).  

Pit one only had 1 interesting thing and I don’t have any pictures of it really so I’m just gonna tell you about it real quick.  In pit 1 we found a feature, which is a spot where the dirt is a different color in an unnatural shape because humans did something.  This particular feature was a post hole from a palisade wall.  That’s interesting for two reasons: 1, the natives didn’t build palisades until they came into conflict with the colonizers. It isn’t that they didn’t need defenses previous to that, it’s that the people they were defending against didn’t have horses or guns.  Once the colonizers arrived, they started copying their method of defense.  2, palisade walls are made of large trees.  To cut them down they were first burned in the place where the cut was made to make cutting them easier.  And this means CHARCOAL.  

Archaeologists love charcoal.  We can date that shit really easily.  And this particular charcoal was sent out for dating.  Came back as 1700s, which makes sense for this area.  It took the colonizers a bit longer to push up into the mountains, so the dates for contact and treaties and that kind of thing are later than official first contact in the 1400s.  So that’s the latest date we have for the site.  

Now, pit 2.  Pit 2 was, and still is, the most interesting pit on the site so far (we’ve opened a number of others, but it’s...lots of plow scars and jumbled artefacts.).  Archaeologists, as I’ve mentioned, dig this kind of stuff in layers.  So for our site (and I know a few of you following me are also archs, so I need you to know this was the site director’s choice not mine. >.<), we have a sod layer, layer 2 - the plow layer, and layer 3 the layer below the plow layer.  General rule of thumb, at least the way I was taught is that you do it in increments or when the dirt changes color, whichever comes first.  So layer 2 for us is pretty thick.  Here’s what the pit looked like at the end of day 1 after we’d gotten the sod off and started bringing it down evenly: 

The bucket is covering the test pit that’s at the center of it.  The string is the boundaries of the pit, but also we attach what’s called a datum to it.  A datum is a known spot above sea level that you use to make measurements as to how deep something is.  It’s basically a string with a line level and you stretch it out until the line level reads, well, level...and then you use a ruler from there down to whatever depth you’re measuring.  So when we find like...arrowheads and points and stuff (and this pit had several) we record where they were by saying “_____ inches BD”, or “below datum”.  

Anyway, you can see already where there are some rocks and differences in color of the dirt.  It’s honestly not all that interesting but I figured you guys might like to see the progression.  This is that same pit about 2-3 working days later, and this is where it started to get interesting: 

Some of the difference in color there is because some soil is freshly exposed and some isn’t.  The pit in the middle is the remains of the test pit.  The lighter dirt at the bottom is sub-soil for this area, so it’s where the plow zone ends.  The rocks may or may not have been added by people, so we record them just in case.  How you deal with rocks depends entirely on where you are digging.  In Florida, where I went to school, rocks are important because 99% of what they’ve got there is sand and shell.  So if you find rocks they were probably put there by people.  Here? Sometimes it’s just part of the ground and sometimes it’s people.  It really depends on how far down you find them.  This is about midway through the pit so it could go either way.  So we do what’s called “pedestaling” where we dig around them and let them sit on a pedestal of dirt.  You’ll see that in a lot of pics going forward.  The reason that we’ve dug those upper corners differently is because we were starting to see soil color changes and we were investigating them separately.  Good thing too, because they both turned out to be part of a large fire pit feature.  Next slide! 

So here you can see that the dirt in those two areas that we’ve dug is a distinctly different color - it’s reddish.  Reddish dirt is a sign that the dirt has been heated, so we’re following the red dirt here.  The digging changes from going in layers to following these features.  And we’re really methodical about it so that we don’t remove too much or too little and lose the line of the feature.  Here we were lucky, all the dirt inside those features was full of tiny specs of charcoal.  And, in the upper left up there - which was my feature to dig - there were huge chunks of charcoal.  Also a really nice piece of pottery.  Well, I mean, comparatively.  It’s still just a large sherd that I accidentally snapped in two while removing but like it counts.  The square in the lower leftish is ust from like the foam I’d been sitting on.  Getting into a pit - rather than digging it from the sides - is something you do NOT do without permission and a lot of care.  Here, the ground is really solid so I wasn’t going to ruin anything by getting in there and the pit was getting too deep to effectively dig from the side, so I spent a lot of time in weird positions on the flat parts of this pit.  So, anyway, here’s a close up of the feature so you can see what I mean about the charcoal: 

Charcoal is very, very black so when you’re digging it stands out bc nothing else is that dark or that bright.  Everything else is covered in dirt. But you can see it there in the top half - it’s those dark flecks and blobs.  There was a ton of it, and when I say a ton, I mean we got I think almost 300g just that DAY.  And y’all know how light charcoal is.  This was the stuff we sent in for c14 testing along with the palisade charcoal and it came back, if I’m remembering right, mid-1300s.  That’s a period called the late woodland. It matches up with the pottery and points we were finding, but I’ll get to that when I start in on the finds.  

Now, I thought you might need some help with this next image so I brought it into procreate and drew on it.  I know it looks like it came before the previous stage, but it didn’t.  What happened is that we brought the whole pit down deeper to expose the edge of the large features.  We also found a post hole in the process! 

So I’ve marked the layers of dirt in the side wall for you so you can see what I mean when I’m talking about them.  I’ve also marked out the bottom of the pit bc this angle made it a little hard to see.  In the upper right you can clearly see the darker dirt of the post hole.  A post hole is exactly what the name implies - someone dug a hole, stuck a post in it, and later the post was removed and filled with moar different dirt and now it’s a different color but in a distinctly unnatural shape.  You can also see that we’ve long ago dug deeper than the test pit.  The area I’ve marked “bridge” is an area of soil that didn’t have charcoal in it between the two pits that did.  There was charcoal throughout that area - hence the blue boundary - but for the features themselves we were following the red dirt.  And if that feature on the right looks deep to you it’s because it *is*.  I dug it out and followed the charcoal and it went *under* the bridge.  

Now you guys probably don’t realize this, but this is like...stupid deep to be finding this kind of stuff.  We’re like 3ft below the surface here and still going down deeper.  Around here the rate of topsoil accumulation is like...an inch every 600 years or so.  The charcoal coming out of this pit is only 700 years old and it’s 3ft below the surface.  So we’re likely looking at a hole that was dug by the natives for their own use.  The thing that was confusing us was that we didn’t see the feature even start until we were almost at the bottom of the test pit so like...8 inches or so down.  (about 16cm.  1inch is approx 2cm.) But then I was looking through some of my earlier images of the pit and I noticed this: 

(north is the same direction in both pics)

The rocks, the ones that could be either nature or people, approximately outlined the areas we’d found the fire pits.  This is why you document shit.  Even though this is still pretty deep to be finding this kind of thing, it at least makes more sense in the context of very disturbed site.  So there might have been more evidence higher up, but it’s in the plow layer so we’ll never know.  So what was the feature? Well, the two features were actually one feature (and you’ll have to wait till tomorrow’s post to find out how I know that.), and I think that might have been one of these: 

(image credit)

Or something similar anyway, but I have to do more research about native cooking methods in this area of the country.  But it would fit with the two holes and a bridge of dirt with no charcoal that we saw while digging.  

Anyway I know this post is super long but I swear we’re almost done.  When we finally finished digging the damned thing it looked like this: 

(here I’m standing on the north side of the pit, so the top is the bottom in the other pics.) 

We think that this might actually be part of another feature so it’s a little...ah...yeah it’s just weird.  Those rocks were definitely from people, so maybe they were lining the bottom of the pit or something.  If I could draw your attention to the black crud in the wall to the right of the pedestaled rocks, I’m gonna tell you one last story about this pit.  That is a burned like...conglomerate of crud.  It isn’t charcoal (charcoal is fuel for the fire, not what they were using the fire to make).  Here’s what it looked like close up: 

(aw yis macro lense)

See those circles? Those are *seeds*.  I sent it to a former prof of mine who is an ethnobotanist for ID and she says she thinks it’s chenopodium AKA goosefoot, which was a staple food for the natives for a long time.  One variety still is: quinoa.  So basically, what we think we’re looking at is a 700 year old cooking accident.  Or, as my professor put it: 

So forgive the length, and I hope you all enjoyed this installment.  =D 

[dwellordream]

“…The Distaff Gospels, which was written sometime in the late fifteenth century in Flanders or Picardy, contains a sequence of popular advice from a group of peasant women. This wonderful text records six days of meetings between six women who get together to share their wisdom and advice. That wisdom is recorded by a male narrator who opens the text by telling us that he often stops in to visit the women in the evening.

While the text occasionally takes a disrespectful tone towards the women and their advice, it is thought to be a fairly accurate record of some of the popular and superstitious beliefs of medieval peasant women. The women advise future women on everything from female health, to choosing a good husband, to living a good life, to raising a successful family. But much of their discussion surrounds conception, pregnancy, and childbirth.

Here are some of their wonderful and bizarre pieces of advice.

Advice about Procreation

According to these women what you do when you conceive a baby matters. Here is what they suggest.

Make sure your husband/lover does not have dirty or smelly feet when you sleep together. If you don’t, your child will be smelly their whole life. If the child is a boy, he will have smelly feet too. If the child is a girl, she will have a smelly rear end.

Make sure your partner is sexually experienced because, if you are a virgin and sleep with a sexually inexperienced young man, your child will be “simple.”

Make sure you’re not a nun or a priest. Children who come from a union between a priest or friar and a nun will have all kinds of problems.

If you want a boy, you can do the following things:

Get the father to turn his face towards the east during sex. That will ensure the child is a boy.

Clench your fist during sex. If the mother clenches her fist “while her husband does nature’s work,” that will also ensure she will have a boy.

Have sex in the morning. If you want to have a girl, have sex in the evening.

Advice for a Healthy Pregnancy and Baby

They also had plenty of advice about what women and those close to them should do during pregnancy.

Don’t eat a hare’s head because if you do your child will have a split lip.

Don’t eat fish heads or your baby will be born with a mouth slightly more turned up and pointed than normal.

Eat white bread dipped in wine to ensure that your baby will be small.

Don’t throw cherries, strawberries, or red wine in the face of a pregnant woman or the baby will have marks on their body.

Don’t have swords and other sharp objects near pregnant women. If you do, touch the pregnant woman gently on the head with the flat of the sword to calm her. This will also ensure the future child will be brave.

Give pregnant women the food they want! As the text reads… “I tell you also that God and reason forbid talking with any pregnant woman, or even any married woman of childbearing age, about any food which cannot be immediately obtained if needed, so that her baby will not have a mark on its body.”

Advice on how to Determine the Sex of your Child

If you want to determine the sex of the unborn child, here is what the women suggest you can do:

Sprinkle salt on the head of the pregnant woman when she is sleeping very carefully so that she is not aware that you have done so. Then, when she wakes up, listen carefully for the name that she says first. If it is a man’s name, the child will be a boy. If it is a girl’s name, the child will be a girl.

Talk to the mother and watch her response closely: when she asks you “what do you think I am having?” say “A Lovely Boy.” If she does not blush, then she is having a girl.

Get the father to think about how he felt after the act of conceiving the child. If he felt nothing, it will be a boy. If he felt unwell for several days following, it will be a girl.

Find out how the mother is feeling; if the mother is unwell during the first three months, it will be a girl. If she is unwell during the second three months, it will be a boy.

You can also look for the following signs:

If the mother is carrying the child more on the right side, she is likely to have a boy.

If the mother is carrying the child more on the left side, she is likely to have a girl.

If the mother likes hearing of jousts and tournaments, she is likely to have a boy.

If the mother likes dances and music, she is likely to have a girl.

If the mother likes eating venison and poultry, she is likely to have a boy.

If the mother walks with her right foot first, she will have a boy.

If she walks with the left foot first, she will have a girl.

Things You Should do after the Child is Born

The women also offered their advice about the steps you can take right after the child is born to set them up for a successful life. Here is what they suggest:

Touch the head of your child with the umbilical cord. That will ensure that they will have a long life, sweet breath, a good voice and pleasing and elegant speech.

Give the newborn some cooked apple before any breastmilk. So doing will ensure that they are not greedy or gluttonous throughout their life and that they are courteous with women.

If you want your child to have curly hair, wash their hair with white wine right after they are baptized.

After your baby is baptized get two young, good-looking children to put their baptismal bonnet out on a sharp sword to dry. That will ensure that the child is handsome, bold, and welcome among the nobility.

Touch your son with a sword or dagger right after he is baptized to ensure that he will be brave for the rest of his life.

Have the priest read The Gospel of the Three Kings or the Prayer of Saint Charlemagne over your son after he is born to ensure he will be brave and victorious.

Be careful not to carry your child with your left hand before baptism or they will be left-handed.

Bring a boy child to his father after birth and place his feet on the father’s chest. That will ensure the son will not have a bad death.

Bring a girl child to her mother after birth and place the baby on the mother’s chest. That will ensure that her body will never disgrace her.

An Attempt to find Control

We know today, of course, that most of this advice is ludicrous and would have been entirely ineffective. That the women offered it, however, and that there is so much of it shows that the same desire to ensure a healthy pregnancy and baby that we have today existed in the Middle Ages.

In the face of all the uncertainty and discomfort that comes from pregnancy and childbirth, medieval women looked for a measure of control. These beliefs provided just that. They gave women tangible things to do to (in their minds at least) ensure the best possible outcome. We do the same thing today. By not eating soft cheese and not taking hot baths, we too hope to ensure the best possible outcome in the face of so much uncertainty.”

- Kathryn Walton, “Medieval Advice for Pregnant Women.”

[naferty]

An AvAc take on the ‘child of ours au!’

Future Tony and Steve, older, not-so-wiser, married, are having issues with a villain of the week that’s hitting a little too close to home. Steve has more or less retired, having passed his shield off to Sam already and letting all the other Avengers handle world safety affairs, only coming back on the field when necessary. He’d much rather spend his time painting, chasing after his rambunctious boy and reminding his also-somewhat-retired husband to eat something along with his coffee. Tony has also surrendered the gauntlets over to his proteges. Helping when they come crashing through his walls and consulting with the big balance keepers when they come knocking on his doors.

Villain of the week has a personal vendetta against both the first avenger and iron man. The villain also has a perfect target to make them suffer the most. Tony and Steve’s boy, Peter Stark-Rogers. 

Tony and Steve ain’t having it, but the villain is persistent and able to bypass all forms of security they set up. Already, Peter had been taken once, rescued at the last possible second before villain could get their hands on him. It’s too much of a risk to try and keep them safe while trying to find leads to this villain, and even worse to have someone else keep an eye on their boys. 

Instead, they improvise. Find a manner in which the villain couldn’t possibly locate their boy, not unless the villain has access to time itself. Tony and Steve ask Strange to send their kid back to a time where villains weren’t as coldhearted and all heroes and anti-heroes were located together in one area.

This is how young Tony Stark wakes up one day. It’s to Jarvis’ insisting calls. “Sir? Sir, wake up. There is an intruder.” 

It doesn’t spur Tony outright, but it does make him sit up. Tony is groggy. His hair is a mess. The sun is bright and blinding. His blanket is on the floor and there’s a kid standing next to his bed. 

The record scratches as he repeats that last part. 

There is a random kid, maybe five or six, just standing next to his bed. 

The fuck? 

“Jarvis, is there a kid in my room?” he says, needing someone to confirm he isn’t going crazy. 

“Yes, Sir. He is the intruder.” 

“Uh -” he eyes the kid unintelligibly. It’s far too early for his brain cells to be working, and even if they were he’d still be looking at the kid in the same manner. “Why is there a kid in my room?” 

“He appeared approximately twenty-four minutes ago, Sir. There is no sign of force entry or code usage. He has been waiting for you.” 

“What? What for?” 

“He is holding a letter.” 

One look to the kid’s hand and sure enough there is a letter. Folded unevenly with only two sentences and an initial. 

Watch over him for us. 

We’ll pick him up when it’s safe again. 

T.S. 

Well don’t that just beat all. 

Tony goes to class a little differently that morning. He’s wearing his good jacket. Has on his good black jeans. Has on his pack with his books. Instead of flying to class he’s walking today, and instead of walking alone he’s walking... with a kid in hand. Short little baby-faced thing with brown doe-eyes and brown wild-hair and trying his hardest to keep up with Tony while carrying his own, tiny backpack. 

Everyone in the academy is pretty stunned at the imagery. 

No one morose than Pepper, who demands to know who’s kid he’s just stolen. Tony simply gives her the letter. She takes a second to read over it, inhales deeply, closes her eyes and probably thinks on how this is her life now, before giving the letter back and studying the kid. 

“Okay, we can work with this. Why you thought it’d be a good idea to send your son here of all places is beyond me, but we’ll find a good sitter until he’s sent back.” 

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s a good idea -” Tony tries to explain, but Pepper waves him off. 

“Here, I’ll take him. You head to class.” She reaches for the kid and manages to grab his tiny arm and pull the two apart for a moment before the kid starts screaming bloody murder and backs away from her. She lets go in surprise and the kid takes the opportunity to koala-hold Tony’s leg. He refuses to let go. 

“Like I said,” Tony sighs, “not a good idea.” 

For the rest of the day Tony is seen walking around with a child in hand. Sometimes he’s seen holding the child in his arms. The little thing on Tony’s chest and hiding his tiny face on Tony’s shoulder. All are confused by this development, but not confused enough to stop them from speculating. 

So Tony went off and found someone to marry him? Not only that, they procreated, too! Bets start happening among them as to who they think is the mom. The largest bet is Pepper. The second is Crimson Dynamo. She actually has the largest amount on that bet herself. The third is, surprisingly, Enchantress, but anyone betting on that one quickly retract their money after she visits them. 

There’s more outlandish names, but the first two are the largest and everyone is betting. Even Fury. 

Everyone, except for Janet; because betting on her bestie’s personal life is beneath her, and she also sees how much it’s actually disturbing Tony to see everyone betting on his future partner and sex life. 

And Rhodey; because, come on, he knows his best friend. None of the names brought forward come close to who he knows Tony would want to marry. Well, except for Pepper, but he also knows Pepper and Tony are perfect as only friends.  

There is one contender that he can absolutely see Tony trying to marry, but sadly that name isn’t on a pot somewhere, and Rhodey isn’t about to call out a name either. As the best friend of the main subject of the betting pool, Rhodey’s words are powerful and that’s a lot of responsibility on his part. So Rhodey keeps his mouth shut and tries his best to diffuse this whole situation, already acting as uncle to the kid when Tony needs help the most. 

[jvnghxope]

dalliance (m)

one shot;

◦ pairing: Taehyung | reader

◦ genre: smut; vampire + vampire hunter au

◦ word count: 11.7k+

◦ warnings: mentions of blood, death, mild mentions of torture, vampiric compulsion, mature content, sexual themes, bitting kink, penetrative and unprotected sex (vampires and vampire hunters can’t procreate together!), slightly degradation, swear words, mentions of drug and alcohol consumption

◦ abstract: The Association sends you to your first mission alone and you encounter a Pureblood ⎯a race you believed were extinct⎯  who is in the mood to play. 

⇥ First installment of the In the Shadows universe

Now, you can read the next part here!

“Please tell me you didn’t go to that mission alone.”   

Namjoon’s voice sounds worried and angrier as time goes by.

You take a deep breath before opening your mouth. This is going to be hard.

“I did,” you reply carefully.

“___, what the hell!?”

You pull the cell phone off your head before he rips your ears.

“I’m sorry Joon but it was an order, from Jaebum personally,” you apologize. You know how he hates when you go on missions without him. “It’s not like I could say no.”

“Well, Jaebum can suck my ass. Why did he send you to a mission like that?”

“Don’t worry, Joon. It’s just a patrol.” You try to soothe his anger. “I need to redeem myself after what happened last time.”

Namjoon groans from the other side of the line, “It’s not your fault you killed the witness. He attacked us first. You saved my life.”

“I know,” you can’t help but sigh, remembering everything that went wrong that night. “I should have just immobilized him, not killed him. I should have controlled my emotions better than that. I panicked.”

“Our job is to hunt and kill vampires. Why are they making a fuss?” he mumbles and you don’t need to see him to know he is frowning. You know your best friend that well.

“Don’t worry. It was my mistake. I need to fix it. The Association just want me to watch. A bunch of vampires around humans could not end well. Everything will be fine,” you assure him.

“There’s nothing fine when it comes to vampires. Where are you, anyway?”

“In a club. One called Pandemonium.” You look around you, “I see it is pretty popular among shadoworlders.”

“Pandemonium? I don’t know… I’ve never heard of it. But what if you cross with a Pureblood?”

“I don’t think so, Joon.” You ease his nerves. “In our whole life as a hunter, how many times have you seen a Pureblood? None.”

“Not because you haven’t seen one means they don’t exist,” he comments in a stern voice. “You must have called me.”

He sounds beyond frustrated and you feel a knot of embarrassment forming in the pit of your stomach.

“I'm sorry. I didn't want to burden you. I know you had a difficult time with that pack of wolves a week ago, adding to the injuries that bloodsucker did to you... This is just a routine patrol. I promise.”

He sighs, “Fine. But call me if something happens, okay? At least you have Bloody Rose with you, right?”

“Well, about that…" you start.

“What?”

How can you explain this without get him really angry? “I… They… took it from me as a part of the… punishment…”

You expect him to yell, swear or at least say something. But he doesn’t say a thing. Not even a single word. The other line is dead. You even check your phone.

“Hello? Joon?”

And then: “I swear ___, if I don’t know anything about you in the next 12 hours, I’m going to that club and kill every fucking bloodsucker that gets on the way.” And he hangs up.

Well, that went better than expected.

You wave your hand, calling the bartender. “A shot of tequila, please!”

You eye the party for the first time since you arrived. When Jaebum, the current head of the Association, told you that you'll go alone to a patrol, you felt anxious. It’s the first time you go on a mission alone. Plus, you don’t have Bloody Rose, your personal anti-vampire weapon, tucked on your back like always. You feel kind of… naked without her.

No. There’s no need to feel nervous about it. You are one of the best Hunters out there and a silver dagger placed strategically on your thigh gives the all the strength you need to continue.

You take a deep breath.

The truth is… this is not routine patrol. You didn’t want to tell Namjoon that because you don’t need to get more nervous than he already is.

The Association received some rumors of an illegal Feed Sistem. People are recruiting human ladies to escort and feed vampires. The human police found some dead bodies. All women and their veins empty. So the Association needed to step in before it gets worst. But before the chaos start, the need visual confirmation of the crime.

There is nothing wrong in vampires feeding of humans. Unless they kill them.

The club is owned by someone known as “Kim”. According to the Association records, the Kim Family is known as one of the Pureblood families. And nobody messes up with Pureblood vampires. But it is also true that nobody has seen a Pureblood in the last one hundred years to the point some of you believe they are extinct.

Your eyes wander around the room as you adjust your clothes. You see a lot of humans drinking, dancing, having fun. But you also have some glimpses of a few fairies, some werewolves, a warlock, and vampires. The members of the Shadow World enjoy spending their time around humans because they find them fascinating. This kind of clubs are one of the fewest opportunities they have to interact with them because every human in this party has enough alcohol and pixie dust in their system they don't even notice that the true skin color of that fairy is green or that witch over there has thornes as hair.

You are a Hunter. One of the best of your kind. One of the fewest when it comes to gender. Bloodsuckers are your specialty. You could kill one with only a small silver dagger. That’s the reason why the Association sent you. Is either that or the fact that you screwed your last mission.

You are not like the other members of the Shadow World. You appearance resembles the most to a human, but you are not a human either. The powers were granted to your kind by a warlock many years ago. You are like a bridge between both worlds, your job is to maintain peace.

Your eyes return to the spot where you saw the vampires the last time. Part of the training in the Academy is to recognize vampires. They have pretty unique characteristics, each one of them just as lethal.

All vampires look the same: all cockiness and long legs, smooth hair and greek-like sculpted face. They look mesmerizing without even trying. That is what you hate the most about vampires: they look like models that just ended a photo shoot. They need to look good to attract their prey, they say.

“Are you looking for someone in particular?”

The bartender draws your attention, placing your drink in front of you. “Excuse me?”

“Seconds ago. It seemed like you were looking for something or someone...” he trails.

Shit.

“I… No. I was just… Nothing.”

Wow, this is the first time you go on a mission alone and you already broke the first rule: don’t blow your cover.

“You should be careful with whom you let your cover fall, vampire hunter. Not everyone understands the true purpose behind your duty,” he comments with a wink.  

What?

A million questions start to flood your mind: Is he a Hunter too? Did Jaebum send him to watch over you? Doesn’t he trust you to do the job?

Maybe Namjoon was right. Maybe you’re not ready to deal with this type of mission alone.

As if he reads minds, the bartender chuckles softly, showing his fangs in the process –totally on purpose. You know vampires can hide their fangs if they want to. Serves well when they don’t want to scare humans while they are seducing them.

He’s a vampire.

You stare, dumbfounded. How could you not see it? Now, you can see the signs. Sun-kissed, porcelain-like skin, lean body, enhanced beauty that makes you want to stab your eyes or worship his altar.  Or both.

You clear your throat, “Hey, vampire.” You call him. He moved to the other side of the bar, making a mojito mixed with pixie dust for a fairy with blue skin. You know even when he has his eyes fixed in the task in hand, you have his full attention. “I'm here with official matters of the Association. I aim no harm. You better don’t blow my cover. I appreciate your cooperation.”

His shoulders move when he chuckles but nods nonetheless. You don't enjoy the fact that the success of your mission is in a vampire’s hands but you don't have another choice.

With a sigh, you take your shot in one gulp and stroll around the club. The group of vampires you saw earlier are in the corner and surrounded by humans.

Blood Sluts, perhaps?  

You suddenly feel sick.

A ‘blood slut’ is a very vulgar term for both male and female humans that trade their body in exchange for a bite from a vampire. A vampire’s bite is high in endorphins and its effects in a human body are close to as that of any drug. It's super addictive and dangerous. That's why the Association is not happy. Vampires are using humans as their personal blood bag and killing them in the process.  Well, they assume.

With a new wave of determination, you kick in your plan.

How to attract and kill a vampire 101.

First, draw his attention. You need to act like a normal human. And what normal humans do in a club? They dance. So, you stroll towards the dance floor. High heels, a dress that sticks to your body like a second skin, you don’t miss the opportunity to walk in front of the group of vampires. As you wander your eyes, one of them gives you the other thing you needed: eye contact. Besides, it is practically impossible for him to go unnoticed with his bright red hair in a sea of brunettes and blondes.

There's something different about him. At first glance, he's like any other bloodsucker: deadly handsome. But when you look more closely, you notice how he is surrounded by people. Vampires and humans and his demeanor is more… powerful.

The vampire’s eyes are fixed in you the whole time and you don’t lower your gaze like most of the humans do. You are not intimidated by him. And he loves it. And then, you smirk before turning your back completely at him and keep walking. The floor, your personal runaway.

The moment you finally arrived at the dance floor, the DJ (conveniently for you) changed the trance music to a more EDM kind of music. The type you can dance. You know your plan is working the moment a pair of strong arms snake around your waist just a couple of minutes after.

You don’t have to turn around to know is the vampire. There are not a lot of male humans here, most of them besotted with fairies or female vampires.

You don’t push him apart, even when you want to. No. You need him to take the first step, for the sake of the mission. So, you keep dancing, with a creepy —and most certainly handsome, vampire attached to your back whom only wants to drain your veins empty. You lose count of the songs the two of you dance, your Hunter nature giving you the opportunity to keep up with his stamina. You hope his mind is clouded enough with booze and blood-lust to notice. He is not a bad dancer, either, and to your surprise, you found yourself enjoying dancing with him a little.

“Do you want something to drink?” the vampire finally whispers against your ear, once the nth song finishes in the massive club speakers. His breath against your bare skin sending shivers down your spine and not in a good way.

You don’t enjoy the idea of having your neck fully displayed for him, so you turn around. “Sure.”

His hand, a little too cool to the touch despite the fact that it has been attached to your waist for the last hour, takes one of yours and leads you to the bar. He orders two drinks to the bartender from earlier, to your dismay.

Now, without all the stroboscopic lights and up close, you understand why humans get besotted that easy. He’s gorgeous. Electric red and smooth hair, chiseled jaw, blue eyes. Probably contacts. Everything about him screams perfection and danger. Humans only see the perfection. You’ve been inside the Shadow World enough time to know beautiful equals lethal more often than not.

“Enjoying the view?” he asks with a smirk once he passes you your drink.

Maybe a little too much. Instead, you giggle and take a sip of your drink. It tastes sweet. Like grapes and something more, something you can’t quite pinpoint. It warms your belly right away. His eyes are fixed in you like he is waiting for your reaction. Does he put something on your drink? Is that their MO?

“What’s your name, beautiful?”

Being trained to be undercover, your fake name rolls off your tongue pretty easy. “Sewon”. You've said it a lot of times that feels natural. Like a second name. You take another sip and the warmth inside you spreads deliciously. “What about you?”

He leans, “Why don’t you come with me and find out?” He whispers to your ear.

“Go where?”

“Somewhere we could do something fun” he offers with a smirk, the kind of smirk that show his fangs a little. Is he trying to scare you? Maybe he thinks you don’t understand what your eyes see. Most of the humans doesn’t. The clear example is in front of you: humans are dancing with fairies and not freaking out. Maybe the pixie dust is helping a little.

“Ok… Sure.” A part of you know is a bad idea being alone with a vampire, but you are pretty sure you could take him down in case something goes wrong. Plus, if you want the mission to succeed, you need visual confirmation of the crime to bring the Association. So, after finishing your own drink, you follow him through the crowd.

There’s a small corridor next to the bathrooms with a wooden door. It’s kind of hidden due to the scarce illumination but you facepalm internally. Know your surroundings in case you need to escape. Another rule you broke in the span of an hour.

The vampire urges you inside before you can even think it properly and closes the door behind you, muffling the music. The hallway looks nothing like the club. Where the club is all modern furniture, lights of all colors and a mass of sweaty bodies, this part of the building feels like you just entered another century. High walls, classy wallpaper, mahogany doors, and enormous chandeliers, the dim light providing just enough for your eyes to get used to your surroundings.  

He leads you through the corridor and opens one of the wooden doors. Once you are inside the room, you take your time to wander around. It is an office. There’s a massive desk with leather seats in the corner. There's a small bar on the left side. Bookshelves occupy all the right wall in its entirety and there are some couches where people can lay down and read comfortably. When you have all the time in the world, books are a good company, you suppose.  

“So, what's vampire hunter doing in my club?”

You consider yourself an ace when it comes to walking in high heels, plus you have enhanced agility and reflexes. But after those words coming from the vampire’s mouth, you find yourself tripping over your shoes.  

“What?”

He lets out a dark chuckle like the situation is so funny. Is he for real?

“I-...  Did you know all this time? Is that the reason why you gave me Pixie dust?” Now that you think of it, that’s why the drink he ordered earlier tasted different, sweet.

“I had my suspicions,” he replies, purring an amber liquid in two small glasses. If he thinks you are going to accept something coming from him again, he’s crazy. Plus, alcohol doesn’t work on vampires, so you don’t know why does he even bother. “Your face was new to me. I know Vampire Hunters tend to hide their scent when they go on missions, so I couldn’t trust my nose. Pixie dust was my last... resource.”

Is that so? Most of the humans enter into a euphoric-like state under Pixie dust consumption. The effects can reassemble to the ones of a vampire bite, but the difference is that any can consume it and fall under its effects. Obviously, the effects may vary. You discovered a couple of years ago that Pixie dust doesn’t affect you that much: it dulls your senses for a very short period of time.

A vampire’s bite only affects humans. Or that is what the Academy told you.

“Why am I here, vampire?” you ask sternly, your ego slowly getting hurt.

“You tell me. What does the Association want here? Did someone break your precious law?” he teases with a smirk.

“Don’t mock the law in front of me, vampire. You are maybe too young to understand-”

“I was there,” he deadpans.

“What?”

“I was there the first time they signed the Accords,” he repeats.

You stare at him, dumbfounded. No, that’s not possible. Because if he is telling the truth, that means he is more than 500 years old…

“Wait. Didn’t your Academy never teach you how to recognize a Pureblood vampire? Or maybe you are not that brilliant…”

Pureblood. Your eyes go wide in realization. Namjoon was right. Your stomach drops and your blood runs cold. What are the odds that in your first alone mission you encounter a Pureblood? A lot, it seems.

You try so hard to remember everything about Purebloods. The books say they are stronger and more powerful than regular vampires and they have another type of skills. Plus, they are kind of immortal. Well, you guess you'll put the last one to the test.

As smoothly as you can, you slowly retrieve the silver dagger from its confines in your thigh, enjoying the way his smirk vanishes at the sight.

Pureblood vampires are dangerous. That's what the Academy taught you. Why are you not running for your life? You may ask. Well, adrenaline does wonders in situations like this and, as you watch him, he doesn’t look much different as many of vampires you have fought. And if you indeed try and run, he would catch you almost instantly.

“Silver daggers don’t hurt us. I thought at least you knew that.”

He is leaning against the bar, all smug.

“Oh, I know that,” you didn’t. “I’m just wondering how much time would it take for you to heal from a stabbed heart,” you comment with a devilish grin, the dagger rolling expertly between your fingers.

By the way his jaw tightens, it is more time he wants to admit ‒just enough for you to escape from his grasp.

“Are you threatening me, little dove? Because that’s, actually, not a smart thing to do.”

You scrunch your nose at the pet name. Dove. He is definitely not from this century.

“It’s not a threat. It’s just a fact.”

“Well,” he starts, standing from his previous position on his desk and taking the glasses with him. “If we are talking about facts, then tell me what the Association wants with my club.”

He offers you one of the glasses, one that you are reluctant in accepting. The dull in your senses are completely fading by now. You need every advantage you have now that you know you are dealing with a vampire with more than 500 years of existence. When you don't accept it, he leaves the glass behind at the bar.

“You don’t need to know, vampire. The Association only needs your… cooperation.”

You can’t help but notice how close he is getting to your personal space. “Is that so?” he hums. A dark expression tints his inhumanly handsome features like he doesn’t enjoy the feeling of being unnecessary. “I guess I could use compulsion and make you tell me.”

You don’t know why but your heart starts to pound nervously.

Thump thump thump.

He can hear it, of course. The wicked smirk that spreads across his face doesn’t go unnoticed. You scold yourself internally because as times goes by, you keep breaking the rules. Never show weakness or vulnerability in front of anyone.

Compulsion doesn’t work on Hunters. That's a fact you have believed and lived with your whole life and you are probably not the only one. Nonetheless, it is also true that there are not a lot of Hunters that crossed paths with a Pureblood before. But the handsome vampire in front of you, with his 500 years of existence, had certainly crossed paths with some Hunters. You need to take his words with caution. Maybe he wants to get under your nerves.

"Compulsion doesn't work on me," you warn. He doesn't care. He is willing to try. “Using Compulsion in an official matter of The Association is illegal, vampire.” You try once again, narrowing your eyes. “How sounds an eternity in prison?”

“They’ll never know. I can compel you to forget.” He says, taking slow steps towards you. Like a predator cornering his prey. “I can compel you to tell me everything, even your deepest secrets, and compel you to forget everything. You’ll not remember a thing.”

You are not at your best right now. He knows that. Pixie dust is still running in your veins, weakening you.

He is so close by now, his cool breath tickling your hairline. His presence is slowly overwhelming you, making you feel giddy. What is wrong with you?

“Vampire-”

“Shhh,” he presses one of his slender fingers against your lips. “Stop calling me ‘vampire’. I have a name, you know?” One you don’t need to know, right? “‘Vampire’ is so… impersonal.”

“Oh, yeah, because you are a person,” you whisper back.

You don’t understand what is going on. It’s like his mere presence intoxicates you. Never, in your life as a Hunter, you have hated your enhanced senses as you did now. His cologne and aftershave make you feel dizzy. Does he showers in that shit or what?

You make eye contact then and it's probably the worst idea you had all night.

There is something odd in the way he is staring at you. Looking up close, he’s even more handsome. With his smooth, red hair hovering above his eyes, long eyelashes, chiseled jaw… It is almost painful to watch. Like staring at a supernova… Suddenly, you feel the cold metal of the dagger slipping away from your hand...

Wait.

As you slowly come to your senses, you notice the dangerous position you put yourself through. Somehow, he managed to snake his arm around your waist once again, pulling your body closer and his hand now cupping your face. His thumb is caressing your cheek, something that feels utterly foreign and familiar at the same time. He is getting closer, his lips almost touching yours and his other hand taking the dagger away from you...

“What are you doing!?”

You push him away, hard. He lets out a yelp of surprise, not expecting that amount of force coming from you. Your fingers tighten around the dagger and you accidentally cut him when you jank the weapon away from him. You hear him wheeze. The cut heels pretty quickly, much to your dismay.

“I compel you to give your dagger” he coos, shrugging. “I must say I’m impressed.”  

You are just as frightened as you are angered. “What do you mean?”

“You broke the compulsion,” he explains. “You were able to walk out of it. Almost instantly. You are not the first one, no. But you did it faster. You have a strong mind,” he states. “I’m impressed.”   

You are not sure what you are supposed to say. Thank you?

“What about-?” you are not able to continue but your fingers brush against your lips, mind flooding with memories of him being at a kiss reach…

“What? Are we shy now?” he mocks. “I’m not the one who allured you to come to me. I was pretty fine back there until you seduce me with your pretty, naughty eyes. Like a fucking siren. And can bet I’m not the only vampire you have allured to your claws and end up dead or locked up in the hands of the Association.”  

You clutch your hands into fists because he is telling nothing but the truth. Your MO most of the time is like that: seduce the vampire to come to a dark alley or to a hidden room where Namjoon is waiting to help you. You are not proud of it. Use your body like that. But you get the job done. Each day you go out to work, fewer monsters are out there killing innocent people.

That is what helps you sleep at night.

“And what was the point?” you ask. “Compel me to kiss you as some sort of payback for what I did with other bloodsuckers?”

He tsks, “Perhaps. But let’s be honest here.” He points at himself. “You’d be honored to grace this lips.”

You ignore the way he licks his lips lasciviously and winks at you (your breath didn’t hitch at that, of course…).

You snort. “You are so full of yourself, vampire. You probably kiss like an old man.”

“Like an old man?” he chuckles. “You are just trying to hide the fact that you are attracted to me.”

“Attracted to you? Please. I was happy dancing alone. You are the one who approached first.”

“Yeah. Like you didn’t want me to.”

It’s your turn to wink, “You are probably a vampire, but still a man and men are predictable.”  

Something glints in his eyes. A hunger you are not ready nor want to dwell right now. You need to focus on the goal you are supposed to be here.

“Ok vampire, we are getting off topic here-”

“Taehyung,” he interjects with a groan.

“What?”

“My name’s Taehyung. Kim Taehyung. Stop calling me ‘vampire’.”

“...Taehyung, so if you are not going to cooperate, I might just leave and find a vampire who’s willing to talk to me. Or I can just torture you to extract all the valuable information. Your pick.”

He presses his tongue against his cheek, pondering his options ‒it’s not like he has a lot. He is stronger than you, you both know that. But with your training, you have a pair of Aces under your sleeve. You are pretty sure he knows that, too. You are not the only Hunter he has had the misfortune to encounter and end up fighting. He knows what are you capable of.  

In a world where vampires and hunters get in constant fights to prove who’s stronger ‒and werewolves always getting into the mix, you know you need to play diplomacy if you want to get the mission done.  

Clicking your tongue in distaste, you put the dagger away and locking it in your thigh. You ignore the way his intense gaze follows every movement. You feel uncomfortable without the cool metal pressed against your palm. Vulnerable. Either way, you raise both hands, bare of any weapon, as a sign of temporary peace.

“I want to get out of here with every drop of my blood and you probably want your head still glued to your body. So…”

Something happened. Something changed. He is no longer looking at you with a mocking expression or like he wants to eat you whole and empty your veins in one gulp. His eyes softened and he looks vulnerable.  “Hey, vamp-Taehyung,” you call in a small voice, the air in the room suddenly becoming too thick to breathe. “Are you okay?”

For some sick reason, his mind drifted 300 years ago, in a time where everything he knew was long dresses, ballrooms, and masquerades. He doesn’t remember the last time he was that happy. He remembers the music, the way his feet felt after dancing all night with the girl of his dreams clasped between his arms. He remembers the agony when she fell in love with his best friend and not much longer after that, everything was tinted in crimson and pain.

It’s weird. You remind him of her.

The buried memories came clashing with the force of a train, shattering his heart in a million pieces once again. Shallow breaths come out of his mouth and he closes his eyes to calm his erratic heart. After it feels like forever, Taehyung flutters his eyes open (he didn’t notice when he closed them). Slowly, he is graced with the vision of you still standing in front of him. The confusion and fear in your eyes are what brings him from his daze, leaving the 1700’s behind and returning to the 21st Century just as quickly as he got back.

Taehyung doesn’t understand why his mind chose that moment to remember those things, memories that had been haunting him on his sleep.

He shakes his head, as if he could get rid of the memories that easily, and flashes you a charming smile. One that if you knew him, you’d notice it is completely fake.

“I’ll answer your questions,” he says. He lets his body sink in the soft cushions of his probably too expensive couch, suddenly mentally drained and tired.

It takes more than you’ll admit jumping into action. The pain in Taehyung’s eyes took you off guard. Until this day, the only pain you cared about was Namjoon’s –him being the only person you could call family. You didn’t take any other’s pain seriously. Especially vampires. You even enjoyed when they squirmed under you when you tortured them. How life left their eyes once you killed them. You don’t feel proud of it. But it was some sort of payback to you. For all the lives they took. For all the innocents they tortured in order to feed.

You always thought vampires were emotionless bastards with no respect for human life, even when some of them were humans at some point of their existence. But as you saw the suffering in Taehyung eyes, maybe you were wrong all this time. Maybe. It is the first time you feel compassion for another person than your friend, after all.

“Are you going to ask something or…?” he asks with a frown, his eyes following your every movement like he can read your thoughts. Can he?

You really need to stop embarrassing yourself in front of a vampire.

“Y-yes!” your voice comes out in a squeal.

You hate the effect he has on you. You consider yourself as a confident person, but right now you are a mess: all flustered and rosy cheeks. Not even a single, coherent sentence has left your mouth for the past couple of minutes. Namjoon would probably be embarrassed of you. You let yourself be intimidated by someone who doesn’t have God in their vocabulary.

“Come and sit with me,” his voice is strong, deep and clear and you feel your legs obediently moving forward. He motions the spot next to him but you chose the couch in front of him to keep your personal space and senses away of his allures and charms.  

“Let's do this: I'll answer your questions if you answer mine,” he offers once you're comfortable.  

You agree with a nod. What type of questions will he ask, though?

“Ok, then. The Association has a couple of homicide cases in their hands,” you start. You don’t want to lose more time. “Human ladies, their veins emptied. Are you breaking the Accords, Taehyung?”

His eyes grow wide and it would be comical if the situation wasn't that serious. He looks... surprised.

“For someone who claims to be a Pureblood and owner of one of the biggest clubs in town, you are clueless,” you click your tongue in disappointment.

His jaw tightens. “I can assure you. No human has been killed inside my territory. At least not by my men.”

You narrow your eyes, “How are you so sure?”

He rolls his eyes. “I’m aware you don’t know a lot about us –or me in that case. You only know what they told you. You don’t need to know more.”

You press your tongue against your cheek because it’s true.

“I am different from other Purebloods because I can use compulsion in other vampires,” he continues. “So, I’m sure because they can’t physically disobey my orders.”

He what?

“I don’t believe you,” is all you can muster, taking mental notes with every bit of new information he is providing.

He snorts. “Why? Because I am a monster?”

One second, he is comfortably seated in the couch in front of you and the other, he is standing in front of you. He moved so fast. Not even with your good reflexes you were able to see him.

You’ll not be intimidated this time. “Yes. I don’t trust vampires.”

His eyes glint dangerously. A pair of crimson red eyes are fixed on you.

“Why do you hate us so much?”

He is hovering above you. You stand from the couch to be at his eye level.  

“Because you feed on humans. You kill innocent people in order to survive… That’s despicable.”

He takes another step closer to you. “I didn’t choose this, you know? I was born like this. I haven’t killed a single human for the past two hundred years.” He whispered the last sentence against your mouth, his cool breath caressing the sensitive skin of your lips and making you shudder involuntarily.

You take a step back, surrounding the couch to get a much-needed space to breathe. His eyes follow you.

“Why should I believe you?”

“Because you are not better, dove. You claim to be nothing but good and impart justice with your bare hands but you’ve killed innocent people, too. Following orders from your precious Association.”

You shake your head, not believing what your ears just heard, “You are lying...”

“Am I?” There is a hint of a smirk dancing on his lips. “Does all your missions start with an interrogation?”

He is lying. You want to believe he is lying. No, of course not all your missions start with an interrogation. Most of the times, your orders are to hunt down someone and nothing else. That’s why you are so good: you follow orders, get the job done, don’t ask questions.

“I hunt down criminals, you hurt innocents. Of course I’m better than you-”

“Wait. Do you really think we hurt them?”

The sudden change in his behavior is slowly getting you off balance. Why the hell he is chuckling?

“Are you telling me you don't?”

“Well, that depends on your definition of pain,” he murmurs, frowning. “The bite can be painful for a couple of seconds, but then it is just a pleasurable experience for both parts.”

You snort, “Really? Are you expecting me to believe that shit feels good for humans?"

"Yes."

"You are gross," you wrinkle your nose. “So, what’s your MO?” You ask him before you can knock yourself some sense.

“What?”

“MO. You know… Modus Operandi?”

Taehyung rolls his eyes, “I know what MO is but I don’t understand what do you mean by that.”

“Oh!” you exclaim. “Well, I’ve been around a lot of vampires and each one of them has a different way of feeding. So, I was wondering how you do it…” your voice gets lower at his intense stare, the hint of a smile tugging his lips.  

“Why do you want to know?”

“I don’t.”

“Then, why you asked?” he counters.

“I-I don't know. I guess I was just curious. I’ve killed countless vampires, but I’ve never spoken with one. I didn’t think-”

“That not every vampire acts under their impulses? Don’t feel bad, dove. You are young and probably just encountered with newborns before. After the first 50 years, vampires learn how to control their blood lust and only feed when is absolutely necessary.”

50 years!?

“W-when was the last time you fed?” you can’t help but ask.

You know vampires can control the color of their eyes willingly. That ability becomes a way more difficult when they are angry or extremely hungry. And now, a pair of crimson red eyes have been fixed in you for the past hour.

He notices your discomfort. “Do my eyes make you feel uncomfortable?” he asks in a low voice, sending shivers through your spine, not for the first time in the night.

The color is not a problem. Is the intensity behind them. It’s like he is waiting for the perfect moment to kill you. Well, at least the feeling is mutual.

“So, your MO?” you ask, choosing to ignore his previous question.

He takes the last gulp of his glass to hide his smile. Somehow, he finds you adorable. “Purebloods doesn’t have to feed as often as normal vampires or newborns,” he explains. “I like to give something in return to my victims. I am very… picky with them. I like to choose well. I like beautiful ladies with sweet blood.”

“Do you use compulsion on them?” you narrow your eyes.

He nods, “Most of the time. They freak out when they see the fangs more often than not and it is more pleasurable for them if they are not fighting against it. Now, my turn. How did you hide your scent?”

“I…” you are not sure if it is a good idea to reveal this type of secrets to a vampire. They are your enemies, after all.

He notices your cold feet in a heartbeat. “You promised. Doesn’t a hunter have an honor code or something? I must say, I’m disappointed.”

“The magic community is our ally. I made a warlock friend to put a smell on me. Okay?” you muster before he can continue with his dramatic antics. He really knows how to get under your nerves. You hate it. “Does compulsion works in anyone?”

He snorts. Never in your life you heard a vampire’s snort. “You hunters are always curious about that,” he says with a chuckle. “Essentially, in every human. Some of them are more perceptive and the compulsion works better on them. It depends immensely on how strong their mind and will-power is. Another factor in the equation is the age of the vampire. The elder the vampire, the stronger the compulsion. Maybe the reason you hunters believe compulsion doesn’t work on you is that you surround yourselves with newborns,” he makes a tsk sound with his tongue.

"Okay, okay. Fine. Get over it," you muster, waving your hand. "We already established you are a super-duper powerful vampire. Besides, you cheated."

He makes a sound of surprise, "I cheated?"

You nod, "You had the pixie dust on your side."

"Are you telling me that I drugged you with pixie dust to use compulsion in you because otherwise, it wouldn't work?

You shrug, a hint of a smile tugging your lips. "Your words, not mine. You said I had a strong mind. Imagine what would happen if I wasn't under the effects of pixie dust. Maybe it wouldn't work. So, can we continue with the interrogation?"

He ignores your question, “If you are so sure, let me try again.”

There is something in his eyes that doesn’t let you say no. You stroll towards him with a bored expression. “Fine. But do it quickly. I don’t want to waste more time with you.”

And then, you feel how the air shifts around you. He stays silent, his eyes glued on your face and nothing else. You barely notice how your heartbeat quickens in your ribcage. You make yourself busy admiring one of the old paintings embellishing the room, doing everything you can to not make eye contact even when every fiber of your body screams look at him.

“Dove, look at me.”

Slowly, you turn your head until your gaze meets his. A pair of chocolate brown eyes are looking at you, the crimson red completely vanished. Taehyung is no longer the ravenous vampire he was just a few minutes ago. His expression softened. It is almost gentle. He reminds you of someone but you can’t exactly remember who. Maybe someone from another life.

“Come here,” he commands, honey dripping from his tongue. His voice is no longer harsh. “Give me your hand.”

You do as he asks, taking the last steps until he is at a hand-reach. He outstretches his palm as an invitation and you quickly accept it, sliding your fingers against the cool skin of his hand. A jolt of electricity ran up your arm and ended in your toes. By the way his eyes go wide slightly, you know he felt that too. You want to yank your hand away but your arm doesn’t follow the order your hazy brain desperately sends.

You suddenly move forward, Taehyung tugging you closer. A gasp comes out of your lips when he kneels in front of you.

“W-what are you-?”

Your words are interrupted when his slender fingers start caressing the bare skin of your leg. You let out a sigh at the feeling. His hands move slowly along your skin, his eyes never leaving yours. Your breath hitches when his hands start massaging the soft skin of your thighs… and his movements come to a halt when Taehyung finds what he is looking for: your dagger. He retrieves it from you thigh pocket carefully and tosses it to the floor. It is kind of funny how a powerful vampire as himself is afraid of a tiny silver dagger.  

As your eyes linger on his face, you can’t shake the feeling of familiarity that washes over you. “Have we met before? I think I’ve seen your face before…”

A sad tiny smile appears on his lips, “I met someone a long time ago. You look… alike.”  

His hands are still roaming your body until they fall comfortably on your waist. You reach forward, using your hand to touch his jaw with curiosity. He goes stiff once your fingers touch his skin but he doesn’t pull away. Instead, his arms snake around your waist and tugs you tighter.   

“Keep going,” he encourages you and now you use both hands to explore his face with your fingertips. He lets out a sigh at the light touch against his skin.

“We’ve been here before,” rather than an ask is an affirmation. A sense of Deja Vu numbs your senses as flashes start to cloud your mind. You stare at him with wide eyes. “Is it possible?”

He flutters his eyes open. “I don’t know,” he chokes, the same pain you saw before tinting his factions, his facade is slowly crumbling before him. “You look like her, you feel like her… But at the same time, you are different. It is confusing…”

“I don’t know what-”

Before you can continue, he presses his lips against yours. It takes a whole 5 seconds for you to understand what is happening. He is kissing you, stealing a gasp of your throat. You break the kiss almost instantly.

“What are you doing?” you whisper.

“Excuse me. I…”

Taehyung, in his 500 hundred years of existence, has mastered to hide his feelings, don’t letting them control over his actions. Only one person managed to watch directly into his soul, to break the facade it took him several years to build… and the vivid image of her is standing in front of him.

“You remind me of her.".

"Did you loved her?"

"With all my life," he replies without hesitation.

"What happened?"

His eyes darkened at the question. "He took her from me."

Your heart drops at that. "I'm sorry…"

Maybe it is the pain in his eyes. Maybe is the sudden urge you have to make him feel better. But now, you are the one that starts the kiss.

He welcomes the gesture with open arms, pulling you closer (like it was possible) as your arms snake around his neck. The kiss is slow and nothing like you've experienced before. His lips are warm and he tastes a little bittersweet, like whiskey. He really is a good kisser. But then again, he had a couple of centuries of practice.

The sensation of deja vu overwhelms you again and another gasp comes out. Taehyung takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss and slides his tongue into the seam of your mouth, exploring the crevice like a starved man.

The room moves around you and a second after he's sitting in the couch and you are straddling his lap.

"Fucking enhanced vampire speed," you mumble and he chuckles against your mouth. He keeps kissing you, massaging the nape of your neck and playing with the strands of your hair. Kissing Taehyung is intoxicating and you can't get enough of it.

It feels like forever when he finally moves from your swollen lips and starts kissing your jaw, moving down to meet your neck, the fruit of his desire.

"It is said that a hunter’s blood is one of the most exquisite things for vampires out there." His nose lingers in your neck, caressing the sensitive skin. "God, you smell amazing. I can only imagine how you taste."

“Feeding on a hunter is illegal,” you warn him.

“Do you even know why is illegal?” he inquiries, pulling just slightly to look up at you. You shake your head. “To protect my species.”

“Ok, you are telling me the Association made feeding on hunters illegal to protect your species?” you scoff. “Right…”

“We were cursed,” he explains. “The most delicious blood out there is also toxic. It can kill us if we consume enough amount.”

You smirk at that, lazily. “You are aware you are giving this information to a hunter, right?”

“Yes,” he muses. “I am aware. But you will not use this information against us, dove.”

And then he proceeds to attack your neck once again, alternating open-mouthed kisses with love bites, soothing the marks with his tongue.

“How does the bite feels like, anyway?”

Your question takes him off guard. “It definitely doesn’t hurt that much. And as I said before, it can be very pleasurable for both parts. I can prove it to you,” he whispers the last sentence, the decision already made. Before your hazy mind can digest what he meant with his words, his fangs sink in your flesh in one fluid motion. You let out a gasp because it is not what you’ve imagined. You thought it would be messy and painful and gore.

It is painful, yes, but not that painful ‒your pain threshold increased with time and previous injuries (you are not going to lie, a hunter’s life doesn’t leave you scarless)‒ and it vanishes as time goes by.

It is definitely not messy. The only injuries he has caused the ones in your neck. Taehyung is even holding you gently, not using his vampiric force to keep you from moving. Not like he needs to, though. Because there is the bliss. A happy, joyful sensation consumes you. It is like nothing can go wrong in this world. The euphoric state the bite puts you through explains why humans enjoy this so much. The effects are perhaps stronger in them. It is a weird sensation. You feel strong enough to destroy a wall with a single punch…

The bliss decreased in power as Taehyung pulls away, soothing the bite with his tongue to help with the healing process.

“Yep,” he half moans. “You definitely taste better.”  He licks the reminiscent of your blood on his lips and the gesture would be twisted and disgusting for you if your mind wasn’t clouded with endorphins. Perhaps that’s the reason why, when he pulls you again to press his lips against yours, you don’t fight against it. Is either that or the fact this time he used his vampiric force to push you closer. Not that you mind, though. You are just as eager.

The kiss escalated pretty quickly this time, your fingers finding and tugging the locks of his hair, harshly, as your tongues dance together in a shared sloppy kiss. The combination of his skillful mouth and the endorphins make you lightheaded. A warmth starts to spread across your body, lingering in your lower belly. Unconsciously, you start to rock your hips against his to alleviate the delicious pain that starts to grow between your thighs.

Taehyung groans against your lips, “Dove, you are driving me crazy.”

You chuckle, moving your kisses toward his jaw and giving small bites to the soft skin of his neck. You know, as a vampire, he heals quickly. So you use all the force you can muster to give him some hickeys (or try, by any means) as a payback for the unwanted but surprisingly appreciated bite.

You don’t know what you love the most: the sound of his heavy breathing and soft moans that you elicit from his beautiful mouth or the sound of metal against metal when you train with blades with Namjoon back at the Association.

Probably both.

As time goes by, this is just not enough. The kiss gets sloppier. The hip thrusts get harder. You just want more.

"Taehyung," you whisper, tugging his earlobe with your teeth. "I need you."

His eyes are an interesting combination of brown and red, both of the colors blended beautifully. He doesn't answer. Instead, he stands up, carrying you like you weigh nothing. He makes you wrap your legs around him and a second after, you are in a bedroom. You feel like a joke of a hunter, once again not realizing there was another room.

There is not time to dwell on your failure because Taehyung lets you fall in the mattress, his eyes raking your body hungrily.

"Are you sure you want this?"

"Yes," there is no hesitation in your voice.

Your bruised lips rejoined not long after that, your back falling flat on the bed as his body hovers over you. The kiss is a way different than the others you exchanged before. It is softer and more… hesitant. Languid. Like he wants to take his time with you. He is immortal, so time is not something he needs to worry about. He has all the time in the world. His large hands start massaging your tender skin, starting from your breasts, going down your waist, thighs and finishing his journey on the heaven between your legs.

“Oh,” he murmurs against your mouth when his fingers get in contact with your now drenched panties. “You are ready for me and I haven’t touched you properly yet.”

“And what are you waiting for?”

With a smirk and nose snuggling in your neck, Taehyung pushes your panties aside and runs his index finger along your slit, teasingly. He pulls away, taking his hand to his lips, sucking dry his digit and moaning, “Is it possible that this tastes sweeter than your blood?”

“I-”

He hums, “Let’s find out.”

Swiftly, he rips your dress off your body, the piece of cloth tearing easily between his strong fingers.

“Hey!” you cry out. “That was my favorite dress! You owe me a new one.”

“Worth every penny,” he grumbles, tossing your dress ‒now torn into shreds‒ to the floor.

Dude, you really loved that dress…

Your trail of thought is interrupted as a groan echoes around the room, Taehyung drinking at the sight of your body in full display for him. Well, almost. The only things still attached to your frame are your now probably ruined panties, your favorite pair of thigh weapon-holder (one is holding your cell phone and the other had your silver dagger) and your thigh-length boots.

“Wow,” he exhales. “You are so sexy. I could happily fuck you like this.”

A soft whimper comes out of your mouth at his words.

Taehyung reaches your right leg, unzipping your boot slowly and caressing the newly exposed skin. The feeling of his tender almost feather-like touch against your warm flesh send jolts of electricity flying directly to your core.

Why is he taking so damn long?

He repeats the agonizingly slow process with your other leg, enjoying the way you squirm under his ministrations. He even takes his time sliding your feet out of your socks. Jerk.

“Oh, dove,” he coos. “A little impatient, are we?”

“Fuck you.”

He grins. “Not yet, love.”

“You better not tear those apart,” you warn him once his fingers reach your weapon-holders. “Or I will definitely kill you.”

“Fine,” he accepts. “We’ll do it your way.”

“Wait, what are you-?”

Taehyung is getting so close to your leg that you fear what he might do and of all the options you had in mind, this was not definitely one of those: as tender as he can, he is slowly sliding the weapon-holder down your leg… with his teeth. Like one of that old stuff humans did on weddings. One thing for sure, it is one of the sexiest things you have ever seen.

He does the same with both weapon-holders, taking extra care with your phone only because you glared at him once his fingers were wrapped around the dispositive.

The panties stay in their place, much to your surprise. He runs his hands along your now bare legs, opening them wide as he places himself in between. He lays his body on top of yours as he reaches your lips once more. You respond quickly, using both hands to hug him closer. Your fingers find their way in his hair, tugging his locks every now and then when he starts to buck his hips into yours. It is at a particular firm thrust that your hands fall to his back and you notice he is still fully dressed.

Two can play this game.

His body grows stiff above you as the sudden sound of his dress shirt being torn cuts the air, receiving the same treatment as your dress. You let out a sigh at the sensation of his skin against yours.

He continues his ministrations, kissing his way down your body. He nips the skin of your neck and collarbones, stealing your breath away. A gasp comes out of your lips when his lips attached to your breast, his tongue swirling around your sensitive bud. You cry out his name at the feeling of him giving you small bites and Taehyung groans in appreciation.

A whine comes from your mouth when he leaves your chest, mouthing his way down your sternum to your belly button –your neglected breast (and nipple) aching for the attention they didn't get.

When his mouth finds the hem of your panties, he pulls away to gauge your reaction and some sort of asking permission. He only needs the nod of your head to slide, finally, the panties away.

Placing his warm hands on your knees, he opens your legs wider. Your chest moves up and down as your breath becomes shallow. Blood runs up to your cheeks as he analyzes the most intimate part of your anatomy. You feel exposed and vulnerable.

He starts peppering kisses down your thigh, getting closer where you need him most.

"Don't even dare bite down there, you perv," you manage breathlessly and he chuckles against your skin.

"You're no fun."

Any snarky reply you are planning to say is cut off when his tongue presses against your slit. Your body jumps reflexively, wrapping your legs around his neck to keep him in place as his lips pull your clit into his mouth, his tongue swirling around the bundle of nerves. His palm press against your hips to keep you steady.

"Fuck," you moan. "Yes. Keep going."

He hums against your flesh, sending vibrations all over your body. Taehyung eases a finger inside of you, curling the digit inside your walls. The sensation has you mewling. Your body arches when he adds other finger, digits scissoring in your insides to stretch you out. The knot inside your belly starts to tighten as the combination of his tongue around your clit and his fingers inside of you becomes overwhelming.

"Are you going to cum for me, dove?" He asks, pupils blown with lust, once he feels your insides twitching and tightening around his fingers.

"I-I'm close… ah…"

Your chest heaves uncontrollably as you feel your release approaching. Taehyung attacks once again your swollen bud, his fingers pumping in and out of you, filling the room with squelching sounds.

And just when the knot inside your belly is about to snap, his fangs buried in the skin of your leg, injecting a new wave of endorphins and pleasure through your veins. You fall over the edge. Sparks of electricity wash over you, numbing your senses. He only takes a few gulps of your sweet blood and soothes the injury with his tongue. Purrs of his name come out of your mouth. It is only when you cry due to overstimulation that he pulls his fingers out of you.

"You are a good girl, dove" he coos, sucking his fingers dry and his other hand massaging the skin of your legs apologetically. "And very, very, sweet."

"You are a jerk," you manage to murmur once you regained control of your body. You throw your arms around his neck and pull him towards you, your lips pressing together in a heated and desperate kiss.

"Don't you want to be inside of me, vampire?" You tease against his mouth, rocking your hips up to meet his.

He quirks an eyebrow. "What? Are you giving me permission, hunter?"

"Do it before I change my mind."

He doesn't need to be told twice. It only takes a few seconds (thanks to his vampiric speed) for him to get rid of his slacks and briefs. A hand wraps around his length to pump himself a few times before joining you in the mattress. He rubs his tip teasingly against your folds, coating the sensitive skin with your juices.

“Are you ready for me, dove?” he asks, voice raspy.

He only needs one nod to finally give in to you, pushing slowly, inch by inch, inside of you. You both sigh at the feeling of his member stretching you out, your walls hugging him like an old friend. He doesn’t move once he is fully seated inside of you, giving you some time to adjust to his girth. It doesn't take much time and soon you become desperate.

“If you value your life, vampire, fucking move already!”

A smirk appears on his face. “Feisty and needy,” he remarks. “You are definitely a hidden treasure, dove.” But complies nonetheless, sliding out until his tip is only inside of you and pushing inside again in one silk motion that has both of you moaning.

He repeats the same movement a couple of times, making your toes curl. But you want more.

“Taehyung, faster.”

You press your heels against his lower back to make him go faster. You are used to being stronger than most of your partners. Most of them human.

Taehyung nuzzles your neck, biting occasionally but not with enough force to pierce the flesh, as he quickens the pace of his hips against yours, building a steady rhythm. A vampire with a bite kink. What’s new?

You are not anything alike as other partners he has had.

When it comes to intimate relationships, he has always preferred humans over vampires. The laters only surrounded him because he was a pureblood. Not because they cared. The only perk of being with another vampire was that he could go as hard as he sometimes craved without worrying if they ended up killed if he was too harsh. Something he couldn’t afford when he was with humans. But he didn’t care. Humans are more fun to be around. And they are warm.

You are different. You are the best of both worlds: you are not as fragile as a human, but you are as strong as a vampire. And as he keeps pushing inside of you and as the warmth that your body provides embrace him, he hasn’t felt more alive.

In a particular hard hip thrust, he pushes your body upwards –your head bumping into the headboard with a loud thud.

"Offf... Can you just… be more careful!" You grumble. "Clumsy vampire…"

You even shove him away, with enough force for him to slide out of you. He shudders at the loss of you, your warmth, wrapped around him.

He chuckles at your scrunched nose, your hand rubbing your head as you seat in the bed. You look cute and he knows, thanks to the endorphins, you are overreacting.

"Don't be dramatic, dove." He mocks, tugging your body closer to his, flattening your back against the mattress and throwing your legs over his shoulders. "You are probably healing at this point."

"That's not-"

He pushes inside of you again, leaving you speechless, the new angle making him reach points inside of you that make your toes curl.

"Yeah, what were you saying?" he coos.

"You are… ah… so full of yourself,” you manage between moans. You find yourself sliding your hands against the mattress and your fingers curling to grip the silk bed-sheets to hold for dear life.

You know he is just as affected as you. There are pearls of perspiration embellishing his forehead and well… vampires don’t usually sweat.

“What? You can’t keep up with a hunter?” You ask as you squeeze your walls around his member making him groan, his fingers digging harshly in the flesh of your legs.  

“Don’t do that,” he warns.

“Do what?” you bat your eyelashes, all innocent.

“That,” he practically growls as your body repeats the movement in an involuntary reflex.

Something feral poses Taehyung, vanishing the last coherent thoughts he had and something more primal leading his actions. His fingers leave red marks as he holds your legs tighter. Hip thrusts become harder, the rolling of his hips inside of you hitting the right spots.

"Keep going," you mewl, encouraging him.

He enjoys watching your face contorted with lust and endorphins. Very much. You look beyond beautiful. The sight sparks something inside of his chest and either he doesn't want to address it or he is too distracted with the task in hand to even dwell about it.

Your moans become louder as he sets a new pace with his hips. At this point, you are clutching the sheets between your digits so tightly you are surprised it hadn’t torn by now.

“What would the Association say if they find out  their star hunter has a someone like me balls deep inside of her?” He asks, as he rolls his hips deeper and hits your G-spot deliciously.

“So ashamed,” you let out with soft moan.

“So ashamed,” he agrees. “So ashamed of you being a little slut for my cock.”

Your affirmation comes with a purr.

If it wasn't for the force of being a hunter provided, you probably wouldn't feel your legs by now.

"Are you close, dove?" He grunts.

You notice how his hip thrusts become sloppy with time, indicating he is getting closer to his own climax. He is probably old school (well, he has 500+ years after all…) and wants you to cum first.

“Yes,” a whimper comes out of your mouth as you feel the orgasm in your belly start to build for the second time in the night. He takes one of his fingers to your clit, rubbing the bundle of nerves furiously eliciting a cry from your lips.

Curses pour from his mouth as he keeps pushing inside of you. You tighten even more around him, making it harder to move. Taehyung's hips decrease in speed but not in force and soon, you are both gasping for air.

Fingers relentlessly rubbing your clit, hips slamming you in half… Everything becomes too much and you fall apart beneath him. Your back arches furiously as your orgasm washes over you. Taehyung's hips are relentless as he milks every drop of your release and chases his own. He doesn't last long though and soon he follows through, filling you up with his warm seed and collapsing on top of you.

And suddenly, everything is too much to handle: ragged breathing, ecstasy tickling every fiber of your body and the endorphins running in your veins… It is only when your body relaxes and your breath becomes even that you finally slide in the deep world of unconsciousness.

Your body feels… lighter. Like it is made of feathers.

You are lying down in a bed that is more comfortable and bigger than yours.

Where am I?

The silk duvet feels soft against your bare skin and you almost hum in delight. You don’t remember the last time you slept more than 6 hours straight. It was amazing.

As you slowly come to your senses, you notice the reason why you are awake.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Someone is banging the door as if their life depended on it.

With a groan, you move your limbs to stand from the bed. It takes you some time to maintain the balance, your legs feel like jelly, and a lot more to finally being able to stroll towards the door. You yank it open to find a very confused, very worried and very angry Namjoon.

“What?” you groan. The change from the fetal position you were at the bed has your stomach churning and your head pumping furiously. You don’t want nothing more than to lay down again.

“What happened to you?” he asks as he closes the wooden door behind him. “Are you okay?” His voice is tinted with concern as his eyes lay on your body and your intent to crawl back to the bed. "What happened with you calling in 12 hours?"

Your eyes move to his bothered figure. "What are you talking about?" Your voice comes hoarsely, surprising you both.

His eyes go wide. "The mission? Or did you just party all night? How much you drank?"

"Not that much," you reply to both of his questions.

"Then why are you dressed like that?"

"Like what?"

He motions your body with his eyes and you look down, your jaw dropping. You are wearing a baby doll, a fucking baby doll made of silk and lace and it's beautiful and it probably costs a whole month paycheck.

“Are you okay?” he asks again, walking towards you and cupping your head with his hands to examine your face. He hums in content when doesn’t notice any perceptible signs of harm on your skin. He examines your eyes then, frowning a little when he notices your pupils slightly widened in a room full of sunlight. “Do you remember what happened yesterday? Tell me how the mission went.”

You tell him everything that happened after he ended the call. He listens to you intently as his eyes keep scanning your body for injuries. His eyebrows crease into a frown at the mention of the pixie dust but stays quiet as you keep storytelling.

As time goes by, pieces of your story start to get blurry. It's like your mind, still a little hazy, can't recall some of the events of last night.

Then, Namjoon's eyes fall over the juncture between your neck and shoulder and you feel how your body tenses under his gaze. Your hand drifts upward to the spot where his eyes linger, the movement solely pulled by instinct. It is finally when your fingertips grace two tiny marks embellishing the skin of your neck that your eyes grow wide in realization. You have been trained to recognize those marks without a second glance your whole life and when your best friend’s expression hardens, you know you are right.

A vampire’s bite.

“Get dressed,” he barks. You didn’t realize there were spare clothes for you until they are thrown to your face. Courtesy of your friend. “We need to go to the Association. Now.”  

“Yoon,” you call. He is strolling around the room, mad, and with phone in hand. Probably telling the Association the status. “Namjoon,” you call him again. “I’m fine.”

“Fine? Fine? ___, you were attacked. Attacked. By a fucking bloodsucker. You understand that, right?” He shakes your shoulders to try to knock some sense into your hazy and confused mind. “Plus, you don’t seem to remember anything of last night. That means they used compulsion. The Association needs to know. We are not as immune as we thought.”

‘Maybe the reason you hunters believe compulsion doesn’t work on you is that you surround yourselves with newborns.’

“Okay”, you finally agree. “Leave the room so I can change.”

“Hurry,” he urges you while he opens the door. “Jaebum knows we’re going.”

You groan. Of course he is.

“Fine.”

But before he can close the door behind him, something that is stuffed in his fist draws your attention. “Joon, what do you have in your hand?

“Hmm?”

“Your hand.” You point the cream paper that he clustered between the fingers of his right hand in his outburst.

“Oh, it was with the clothes I found. A note.”

Something tingles in your spine. “Did you read it?”

“No.”

“Can I?”

He shrugs and hands it to you before heading out of the room, leaving you alone. The paper feels heavy against your palm, texturized and lush. Someone scribbled with black ink and the words handwritten with beautiful calligraphy will be printed to your mind for the rest of your days.  

Dove:

I hope you had fun last night. I'm sure I did. In all my existence I've never crossed pads with such fascinating vampire hunter as yourself. I definitely give you the opportunity to kill me next time.

Lots of love,

Kim Taehyung.

[kitcat992]

Endgame thoughts and emotions: A proper review

Yeah, I did the unthinkable today. I saw the movie for a second time. And in my defense, I did not want to. I laid in bed as my friend literally tried to pull me out of my blanket burrito and drag me to the movie theater. The issue is, he bought me a ticket and really wanted me to go with him for his first time showing. After much commotion, I dragged myself into a theater seat, pouted, and watched it for a second time.

I decided to try and find a silver lining in my misery: Now I can view the movie with a much clearer mindset, without the fog of fan excitement and the years worth of anticipation. Plus, it was a matinee showing, so I was sure the crowd would be a lot less rowdy and I would be able to really immerse myself in what was happening. And most of all, if I was going to bitch this much about the movie, I decided it was only fair I really give it a good watch.

So here I go: Thoughts and emotions the second time around.

Too long; didn’t read: It’s still shit.

Tony’s opening scene in the Benatar remains to be the best part of the film, along with his confrontation with the team, specifically Rogers. These moments are why the film started off so strong – we were receiving exactly what we waited for since Civil War. I repeat, we waited 3 years for Civil War to finally pay off. But it’s really pathetic that the only good parts of this film are the beginning, right before the 5 years later cue card.

Despite the amazing pay off from the fallout in Civil War and the incredible acting from RDJ during that confrontation scene, the pacing of the beginning STILL felt all sorts of weird. For starters, did Marvel just assume that every single movie-goer would watch Captain Marvel/Captain Marvel’s end credits scene?

Without that scene, without the whole “We found Fury’s beeper.” and “Where’s Fury?”, Captain Marvel’s entrance makes ZERO sense. And ya know what? Even after seeing the movie [Captain Marvel] it STILL makes zero sense. This is one of the many moments in the film that we’re left to assume. We’re left to assume that the team told Carol about Tony having flown to space to stop the doughnut ship, and we’re left to assume that she went and spent 3 weeks looking for him.

I was flooded with questions before the title card even rolled: When did they find Fury’s pager? And how did they find Fury’s pager? Were they just walking the streets and came across it, or did it have a GPS of sorts on it, or did it have an alert set to notify the compound in case of emergency? Did they tell Carol to go search for Tony or did Carol come across Tony on her own accord? How did they know Tony fought Thanos?? Tony even asks “Who told you that?” Well, who told him that? Did they receive the messages from his Iron Man helmet from when he was onboard the Benatar?

And let’s talk about Irondad&Spiderson moment that wrecked me – “I lost the kid.” Don’t get me wrong, this had me peeing my pants a little bit. But HOW did Steve know about “the kid”? His face says he knows, the way he reacted says he knows. Does he just know Spider-man is a kid, and he knew Spider-man went to space with Tony Stark, thus that’s the kid Tony refers to? Or did Steve also know about Peter before Civil War? Perhaps he was someone they both were planning to recruit, but Tony got to him first. How does he know about “the kid?”

That’s a lot of questions for the first, what, 10 minutes?

Immediately feeling the pacing so off balance in the movie this soon was incredibly troublesome. It only gets worse once they go off to kill Thanos. Because the moment Thor walks out of that hut, the movie takes a nose dive it never stood a chance to recover from.

5 years later.

Fuck that noise.

Okay, so the “5 years later” part didn’t bother me during my first watch. Because I so strongly (and naively) thought time-reversal was the end fate for this film. It was the only goddamn thing that made sense. But, to say the least, nothing following this cue card makes sense.

For starters, there’s just NO information given to the viewers about what happens from the fallout of The Decimation. So once again, we’re left to assume. Did the Avengers hold a press conference? Does the world now know about other universes and infinity stones and magic? Was Carol Danvers the one to explain that? Or Tony? Was the world angry with the Avengers for not stopping Thanos? Does the world even KNOW about Thanos? Does the world know what we the audience know or did the government sell them a lie? How about the Accords – did that dust away too, because we see Natasha handling business with the help of Nebula, Rocket, Rhodey and Carol.

But there’s not even a HINT of what civilians think or what they were told. We’re left to assume.

It turns out Steve’s little support-group-talk about “Some of us moving on” was actually a way for The Russo Brothers to completely erase his character development of the past handful of movies. Here we naively thought he was talking about moving on from the loss of Bucky and Sam and the other half of the universe…nope. All a ploy to remind the audience that despite the fact Steve Rogers said goodbye to Peggy Carter, buried her body, and began to live his own life in this new time and world, he still hadn’t moved on from the woman he loved for 21 months. Not only is this a giant slap in the face to Steve’s narrative, but he’s turned into a hypocrite by preaching “move on” without actually moving on himself. “Some of us move on…but not us.” is NOT a way to justify his actions at the end of this film.

I’ll say it now and here: I’m positively sick of Hollywood preaching that happy endings only come in the form of romantic relationships.

Natasha’s little spiel about family was sweet. I knew she was dead the moment she said it. My first viewing, I was okay with this. I actually felt a little touched, knowing that she got redemption from her red ledger by making the sacrifice for the family that she found. Upon my second viewing, I actually got pissed. Very pissed. Ya know why? Because Clint deserved to make that sacrifice. Nay, he needed to be the one to make it. But I’ll get there.

Paul Rudd’s acting for his reunion with Cassie was actually really touching. In fact, Scott Lang probably suffered the least amount of character-development-fuckery in this entire film. It probably helps that he was stuck in the quantum realm for 5 years instead of living with the others. I guest we’re just supposed to assume these characters changed over the course of 5 years, because they sure as hell aren’t acting like themselves.

*sigh* Tony…*bigger sigh* Morgan Stark. I know I’ve said it once before, if not multiple times already. I’m sorry for being a broken record. But Tony did not need to have a kid. She only served purpose to the narrative if time had been reversed. Perhaps Tony procreated with Pepper after Infinity War because he felt he needed to contribute to society and help get the universe back to how it was. Okay, I can flow with that. Even his insistence later on that they bring the dusted back but “keep everything from the past 5 years, at all cost” would play majestically into the ultimate sacrifice of losing his daughter for the other half of the universe to return. Watching these scenes [with his daughter] the first time around wasn’t as painful when I so naively thought time reversal would occur. My unbelievably intense opinion that Tony and Pepper did not need a kid keeps me from even remotely enjoying them now. Another thing Hollywood so wrongly assumes and pushes on audiences: If you’re a couple, you have to have a kid. Tony and Pepper were just fine without one and bringing a child into their story only prevented Tony from reversing time.

Also, the little girl who played Morgan was horribly directed. I know she was young, and I know kid actors aren’t great to begin with. But she mumbled all her lines and never looked anywhere but the ground. I will give credit to RDJ for playing the fantastic Irondad we all knew at heart he was, and I’ll treasure those moments with Peter in mind instead of Morgan.

But again, more questions arise from here. Steve, Natasha and Scott come to talk Tony into doing a time heist. The way Tony looks at them all…I can only assume he hasn’t spoken to them in years. But when? When did they all fall apart? Was it directly after he slammed his arc reactor/nano housing unit into Steve’s hand and passed out? Was it after the team told him, off camera, that Thanos was dead and the stones were gone? Have they kept in touch at all?

For the most part, Tony seems civil to them – “Table is set for 6, if you don’t talk shop you can stay for lunch.” and even pours them all drinks. But so much was left unsaid/off screen that I have no idea what’s gone on between these characters in the past 5 years. A cue card doesn’t tell me narrative. At this point in the film, I’ve already got a headache. I’m asking too many questions and getting so little answers.

I cannot even begin to express my utter disappointment in how they handled Professor Hulk. Even during my first viewing of this film, I had face palmed at this diner scene. Mark Ruffalo had a very well-thought out mini story in every Avengers film and even during Thor: Ragnarok. His struggle to control the Hulk, and Hulk’s distaste for Banner, all led up to Professor Hulk. How Banner described him is exactly how he was supposed to be – brains and brawns, the best of both worlds.

He was instead used for jokes. And lets be honest, he just looked weird. He acted weird, he looked weird, and every time he had a moment on screen I was just uncomfortable. So uncomfortable. I loved Ruffalo’s performance of Bruce Banner and all that just went away with this film. I don’t even like to think of Bruce Banner in this movie. Science Bros went away, his dynamic with the team went away, so much went away.

It felt like watching an alternate universe Avengers at this point, it really did.

Tony’s desire to get Peter back saved the universe: That is fact, that is canon. He was adamantly against time travel until he saw that photo and then BAM, he figures it out. I will take joy in this moment, despite wanting it to be something else. I really wanted this to be a grieving moment, I really wanted him to be at May’s place (who be are left to assume got dusted) or at a makeshift funeral/memorial or something. I’m happy to have gotten this scene, I really am. But I also feel empty from it. Perhaps that’s because so much is left unsaid that we’re left to assume the nature of Peter and Tony’s relationship since Homecoming.

So again, I get my hopes up for this time reversal that never pans out. Tony  has a conversation with Pepper about how he figured out the time travel nonsense, but he could put a pin in it immediately and forget all about it. Pepper, softly and a little heart broken, said he wouldn’t be able to rest if he did. In my honest opinion, that was Pepper telling Tony “I don’t want to lose what we have…but so many others lost so much more. We can try this again. We can have a second chance.” That, to me, was Pepper accepting the possibility of time being reversed to 2018 and losing Morgan and their cabin and all they had done in the past 5 years. In that moment, she accepted that. She gave him her blessing.

This made sense to me, this made sense to the narrative. Because this would leave Tony with a heart breaking choice of choosing the universe over his daughter. But he would, because that would be his ultimate sacrifice. One last sacrifice, to quote his movie poster. He’d be absolutely heart broken but he would know that his loss was nothing compared to all those who were dusted, all those who lost their lives by the dusted (falling air crafts, ect) and all those who took their lives due to the grief. He’d make that decision. And we’d go back to 2018 where time would be restored to how it was. If the writers really wanted to keep the Morgan nonsense, they could have even give him a happy ending by Pepper announcing she’s pregnant in 2018, showing that he’ll still have Morgan and his happy life.

Ultimately, this is not what pans out. Things only get worse from here.

Tony returns to the team, who failed at managing time travel with Scott due to lacking a time-travel-GPS. I’m not even touching that scene, it’s just sorta pointless and there were pee jokes and…yeah. Tony invents this time gps and agrees to help them, so long as nothing changes from the past 5 years. He gifts Steve a new shield, admitting that resentment is corrosive.

So…I’m left to assume he and the team really did split ways after his return from space. I mean, it’s a sweet moment….but I’m also left to assume what the shield is made out of. Is it Vibranium? Does that mean Thanos’ sword can cut through Vibranium, as it goes on to cut through his shield during the final battle?

A throw away line here was vital and never received. Steve’s shield was widely known for being made from the strongest metal in the world, and if you’re going to recreate it, you need to establish if it’s made of the same material. A simple “You better not toss that around like a Frisbee all the damn time, it’s not made of the worlds strongest metal, ya know.” or “It cost me an arm and leg to get some of that glorious Vibranium from Wakanda. Be careful with that thing.” And all you’d have to do to make time for this one throw away line would be cut one of the many unnecessary childish jokes in the movie, or reduce the “Nah, take a picture with him, ‘cmon!” scene from like, a solid minute to 30 seconds.

Its small things like this sprinkled throughout the entire film that goes to shine a light on how awful the script really was.

They decide to get the team back together, which includes Rhodey, Rocket and Nebula. And Thor.

Pour one out for Thor. He ain’t dead, but his character development sure as hell is.

My anger with Marvel, the MCU, Kevin Feige and The Russo Brothers stands to be for so many reasons, but this one might just take the cake. Once all of my anger dissipates from bad writing, the destruction of character development, the immature jokes – this will be the one thing that remains. I will never forgive any of the parties involved for turning Thor’s clear-as-day PTSD into a fat joke. Thor became a depressed, traumatized alcoholic.That is NOT something to make light of, and yet at every corner there was a joke for him.

His one serious moment – when Professor Hulk mentioned Thanos’ name and he was so clearly triggered into a state of emotional distress – was laughed off by Rocket telling him they had beer on the ship. So not only was his depression laughed at with the fat jokes, but his alcoholism was turned into jokes as well. As someone who grew up with an abusive alcoholic father, I cannot condone this type of humor, especially for young children. There are some things you just do not make fun of.

I wrongly trusted Marvel to be able to handle mental health issues with grace and dignity, as seen in Iron Man 3. They did more than drop the ball on this. They played skee ball with it.

Oh, and Hawkeye is now Ronin (was his name actually said, though? I guess we’re left to assume again) and he’s been murdering a shitton of people. Natasha finds him, says a sad line about “not being able to give hope sooner” and recruits him. So that’s cool, I guess. Problem is no one cared about his family to begin with and they still sorta don’t. But, yeah…everyone bring the murderer onboard. Cool. It’s sorta telling the audience (which includes kids) that its okay to murder as long as you actively kill bad guys, but yeah, whatever.

Now, things have been bad up to this point. Very bad. But it just gets so much uglier from here. The team discuss Time Travel and try to tell the audience how it REALLY works in their universe – by dismissing the notion of “you mess with the past, you mess with your future” theory all movies tend to have. This is essentially the butterfly effect and its really the only way to go about time travel.

But they couldn’t do that, because then we couldn’t have the time travel shenanigans that follow. And honestly, I’ve seen a LOT of things with time travel, and their explanation still doesn’t make sense. “You can’t change the past, only your present, which then becomes your past.” Whatever, Russo Brothers. You’re just trying to pass off a shitty time travel plot without actually caring about it.

Clint does a trial run of time travel, it works, and then they go about figuring out where the stones were so they can travel back to get them. None of this was entertaining. Rocket calling Scott a puppy fell flat, for starters. Thor having an obviously distressful triggered moment recalling his mother and Jane was painful to watch and equally painfully to hear the audience howl in laughter from it. It was nice to see a 15 second shot of Tony, Natasha and Bruce laying against each other, surrounded by books as they try to figure things out but these type of brief, fleeting moments were why I was so found-family-trope baited in the first place. 4 movies too late, MCU.

Also, Nebula tells them clear as day that Vomir is a place of death and Thanos went and came back without his sister, to which Scott jokes “Not it.” So SERIOUSLY, Nat and Clint knew something was up before they even went. Dick move to whoever sent them there.

Time travel shenanigans from here. They split into teams and go to their past locations where everyone fucks up everything in every timeline, but there are no consequences because the narrative established “you can’t change the past”

Listen, I do not even WANT to try and understand this. I don’t. It’s why I don’t mess with TheFlashTV anymore. Professor Hulk goes to get the time stone but The Ancient One won’t give it to him and they have this long drawn out discussion about how if the team doesn’t return the stones, her new timeline/reality is doomed. So Bruce’s astral form promises to bring them back and he tells her Strange gave it up willing and she gives it to him and…*sigh* Again, the Russo Brothers using cheap lines to try and explain their shitty use of time travel. This scene exists solely for Steve Rogers. It gives him his reason to travel to the past at the end and return all the stones to their rightful place (and, as it will later be discussed, say Fuck You to everyone in the year 2023.) That’s all this scene is here for.

Loki got away with the space stone/tessract, Thor gets to talk with his mother while Rocket grabs the reality stone, Nebula somehow connected with past Nebula’s harddrive and Thanos got to see her memories and Clint and Natasha did a little remake of the Thanos and Garmora sacrifice from Infinity War. To make matters even WORSE, because Loki got away with the space stone, Steve and Tony have to travel to 1970, to the SHIELD bunker seen in The Winter Soldier and where the space stone/tessract is being kept, as well as grab some additional Pym Particles on the way since they didn’t have enough for the additional jump.

This entire scene is garbage. Tony runs into a young Howard Stark. And I guess because Tony’s a dad now, he goes on to forgive his own dad for abusing him. As a child of abuse, fuck that noise. Howard is made out to be a man with good intentions and Tony even hugs him before he travels back.

It’s like the Russo Brothers wanted to write Tony having everything he ever wanted (a family, a kid, closure with his father) before they killed him off. This scene served nothing to the movie, nothing to Tony’s narrative and really sent a harsh message to victims of parental abuse. The mix messages with Howard along the way of the MCU films are so flawed I cannot even begin to describe them here.

Oh, and Steve runs into Peggy’s office where he stares at her from afar. This is the Russo Brothers once again shoving down the agenda that Steve Rogers needs to be with Peggy Carter if he’s to be happy. Despite having said his goodbye and having buried her body, he’s still hung up on the woman he knew for 21 months over 16someyears ago since coming out of the ice. So we get that.

Rhodey and Nebula grab the power stone. Rhodey spends like, 1 minute talking about the temple being boobytrapped only for them to walk into it fine. Not sure what that dialogue was there for. Nebula burns her hand off getting the power stone, they go to travel back but 2014 Thanos links with 2023 Nebula’s mind harddrive and accesses her memories and discovers the future and…yeah, I’m just not even in the mood to explain this. Nebula was kept around as a plot device. It’s a real shame to see her character reduced to that. Also, jumping way ahead here — someone seriously needs to explain to me how she still exists after killing her past self. I need that explanation like whoa.

Thor’s conversation with his mother about “being who he’s meant to be, not who he’s supposed to be” would have been more touching if the fat jokes weren’t tossed in every other line. He legit had a panic attack, even SAYS “I think I’m having a panic attack.” and how do the writers go about this serious mental health issue? By having Rocket slap him.

I was sitting near a middle-aged man who howled SO loudly with laughter at this, it reminded me of how people laughed at the 3 stooges. Way to go with that one, Marvel.

I think that about sums up the time travel shenanigans. While it was fun to watch the 2012 Battle of New York from a different perspective, everything just got so royally fucked up that my headache was turning into a migraine at this point in the film. But again, it doesn’t matter. Time travel in this movie is explained as “You can’t mess things up. You can’t change the past.”

But wait. The best is yet to come. Our first death of the movie. It’s bad enough that Natasha died instead of Clint, but to have her death be such a blatant rip off of the Thanos and Garmora scene in Infinity War is a real slap in the face.  All the way down to the usage of the same score music. Why? That only made the scene less emotional and moreso, took away from the impact of the Thanos and Garmora scene in Infinity War. The entire time, I felt like I was watching a fanfic with that scene. Among many others.

Clint deserved/needed to die instead. I get that they “battled it out” to be the one to jump, and he wanted to be the one to die – I get it. But that’s just…sorta not good enough. Because the writers wrote all that in when it didn’t need to happen. For starters, the entire fight over who jumped was drawn out and quiet frankly, hilarious. Sure, it showed a bit of their personalities and what friendship they had, but it ended up laughable. Maybe that’s because everything leading up to this felt like such a joke as well that I couldn’t take any of it seriously.

Regardless, while I’m not nearly as angry at Natasha’s death as I am Tony’s, I still strongly believe Clint should have been the one. Otherwise, the message I walked away with is: It’s okay to go on a murdering spree when you’re feeling hurt and bummed out, as long as you say sorry for it and try to take the spot of sacrificing your life. 

I would say that Marvel didn’t want to kill off a “family man” with Clint, as he had his family and kids, but Tony had that at this point as well. I feel they killed Natasha off because they didn’t know what else to do with her, as so clearly evident in her other films. She had no direction with these movies, no real character arc to go off of, and even with her solo movie in the works (an obvious prequel) she was sort of an empty slate waiting for her story to be told. Marvel never used her properly, never really took advantage of her, and at one point even gave her a relationship that did NOT need to be [Brutasha] because they were so clueless as to what to do with the only female Avenger. (Which means she HAS to have a love interest, right? RIGHT? God, Hollywood sucks with females)

They return to 2023 with all their stones and without Natasha. There’s a 1 minute grieving scene where Professor Hulk throws a bench in the lake and Steve blinks a tear and that’s…it. I mean, christ, don’t dedicate another second  longer to the poor woman, we couldn’t have that. Gotta make room for all those fat jokes. /s

They put the stones into Tony’s nano gauntlet and fight over who should put the gauntlet on – Professor Hulk wins. He says some shit that’s pulled straight out of his ass about gamma and how much gamma is surrounding the glove and that only he can handle it because Hulk is gamma. “It’s like I was made for this.”

Okay, whatever. Seriously, all this is so out of nowhere that I can’t muster the strength to care. A universe that always relied on collective narrative and plots weaved throughout movies is just pulling shit straight out of their asses at this point and I’m supposed to eat it. Please just snap your fingers and reverse time to 2018, Professor Hulk. That’s all I’m waiting for.

Tony once again says DO NOT lose the past 5 years and I guess the stones work off of what you’re thinking (ie: why they won’t let Thor do it, he’s too much of a mental mess) so Bruce…thinks about the dusted and snaps and…yeah. The dusted are back. A bit anticlimactic.

This also raises SO many questions about so many other things…what about those that got dusted in crashing airplanes? Are they just falling from the sky now?  People who were in boats that are no longer there, or in trains, or cars? What if they were dusted where a wall is now built? Are they morphed into the wall? Not to mention, bringing the dusted back in the year 2023, 5 years from when they were dusted…the legal problems that will occur. What if you had an apartment and someone is living there now? Where’s your stuff? What if your spouse married another person? Not to mention, what if your loved ones who survived The Decimation committed suicide in grief?

What about all that life insurance that was dished out?

None of this is explained. I doubt any of it ever will be. As the audience, I am once again left to assume.

So anyway, cue final battle scene. Thanks to time travel fuckery, 2014 Thanos is in 2023 and he bombs the shit out of the compound and it’s all CGI action from this point forward.

I mean, the fight was pretty cool. It was just…it was a lot of CGI, and to be honest, it was dark. Like, hard to see kind of dark. I get the tone and atmosphere they were going for, but one of the reasons I loved the Wakanda battle scene in Infinity War so much is because it was during the daylight. Even the battle of Titan was bright. Again, I get the tone they were going for, but I had a lot of trouble seeing what was going on, and it was a lot at once.

The OG 3 fight Thanos alone at first, which was cool. They all get their asses handed to them and Steve’s the one left to try and finish him off, solo, when Doctor Strange opens portals around the universe and brings all the dusted and army’s to the fight. I’d like to say I felt the same excitement watching this the second time around as I did the first, but I just…didn’t. Knowing the ending of this movie robbed a lot of initial joyful moments and if you ask me, a movie shouldn’t do that.

Also, yes, the fanservice moments exist. Steve lifts Mjolnir and says Avengers Assemble. I’m sorry, that’s not enough for me to forgive the mess of this movie.

A few pairs have their reunion scattered along the battlefield. I absolutely adored Peter and Tony’s, though I remained vastly uncomfortable that Peter was suddenly 5 years in the future and even addresses it as much. “And then Doctor Strange said you gotta hurry, it’s been 5 years!” Like…again, if this was reversed, that’s fine. But friggin hell. At this moment he doesn’t even remember turning to dust and how much pain he was in. Simply “Remember when I got all dusty? I must have passed out.” They hug though, so at the end of this shitshow at least the Irondad&Spiderson fanbase got their hug.

Rocket and Groot exchange a look and say nothing.

Fucking Steve and Bucky don’t even talk or see each other in battle. Probably because the Russo Brothers reallllyyy wanted to push that Steve/Peggy agenda and not remind anyone of Stucky. I look back on my complaints about the Irondad&Spiderson in this movie and take my grateful’s that we got the hug, because the poor Stucky fanbase got friggin robbed.

So again, big giant CGI battle fest. At one point they’re playing Hot Potato with the gauntlet trying to keep it away from Thanos and get it to Scotts van. I will admit, seeing Peter get like, 11 moms all at once was badass. Though it broke my heart to see him curled up in a tight ball holding the gauntlet like that…boy gunna have some real PTSD that Far From Home will likely brush off with more jokes disregarding and disrespecting the seriousness behind mental health and trauma.

I legit forgot about Captain Marvel until the moment she showed up.

I repeat: I legit forgot about Captain Marvel until the moment she showed up.

I know this moment had a LOT of characters to balance, but christ. If the writers can’t handle multiple characters with grace, they shouldn’t be handling multiple characters to begin with. Most were in this battle scene for the sake of showing their face. I mean, did Mantis even fight? So much was going on I couldn’t see past the center focus.

And I know a LOT of people complained that they didn’t want Captain Marvel to be the one that saves the day, but honestly, she would have been the better fit.

Tony making the final snap was done for shock factor. I stand by it. The narrative called for Steve Rogers to lay down his life in a blaze of glory, and because people predicted that – which is NOT a bad thing! It just means you’re telling your story well! – they took a hard left. Steve Rogers was a man out of his time, and his narrative told us time and time again he struggled with his life without a war. He needed the fight, that was his purpose. And his purpose should have ended with that final snap.

Instead, because movies want to be edgy and unpredictable, they ruined the narrative of Tony Stark and the final snap kills him. It’s horrific to watch. His last audible words are “I am Iron Man” and his last mumbled words are “Hey, babe” to Pepper. He gurgles blood out of his mouth, his brain is melting from the sheer power of the stones, Peter legit just sobs over him and he dies after Pepper feeds him some poetic, flowery shit about “You can rest now.”

This would be an immensely touching moment if it weren’t telling the audience that death is rest and the only way Tony could rest is if he died. First and foremost, I’m sorry, I do not consider death to be rest. Death is the end of existence. And Tony Stark had plenty of opportunities to rest without death. But the Russo Brothers decided 5 years of happiness was enough for him (when honestly, was it truly happiness? We all know he was harboring guilt from the Decimation and still mourning Peter) so they gave him those 5 years and then killed him off.

Between Thor, Natasha, and Tony, the MCU has taken society’s fight against the stigma on mental health back like, 25 years. Their answer to those who have mental trauma is to make fat jokes or kill them because that’s the only way they’ll be at peace. I guess this means Spidey is next, because there’s no way a 17 year old teenager is walking way from that without some serious PTSD.

Just by watching it I have PTSD.

I’m just not even touching this one in full extent. I’m sure other people will say it better than me and already have. All I will say is this: The past 11 years of film and subsequently the collective narrative told over the course of 22 films created a purpose for each of these two characters — Tony Stark struggled to move on from the fight, to truly let go of being Iron Man and retire. Steve Rogers struggled with his place in the world, moving on from Peggy Carter and finding purpose in fighting the battles that needed won.

Tony Stark deserved an ending of retirement, or even semi-retirement, perhaps taking on an advisory role at Shield. It would show the audience that sometimes you shouldn’t fight what feels natural within yourself, and Tony had a natural urge to be involved in this superhero life. He still could be, from afar, like a new Nick Fury.

And Steve Rogers, a man out of his time, deserved to win that battle in the blaze of glory, laying down his life for the other half of the universe. I really can’t believe I’m saying this, but I feel cheated for not seeing his death.

The Russo Brothers got this wrong. And shame one everyone who supported them along the way. These character’s had arcs established for many films prior to this and with a “5 Years Later” cue card all that just goes out the window.

Tony’s funeral exists solely for the purpose of doing a slow pan shot of a ton of faces standing around somberly. As an Irondad&Spiderson fan, it hurt to see Peter directly behind Pepper, Rhodey, Steve and Happy. May looked to be the same age/not aged up so I have to assume she got dusted as well. And since I’m being honest here: I know a lot of people fawn over Harley and Tony, but him being there made little to no sense to me. Plus, 95% of the audience didn’t even know who he was.

But again, this scene exists solely so we can show a bunch of big name faces at once, the big “group shot” that’s been spoken about so much during the hype of this movie. Even General Ross is there, the little fucker.

And to be even more of a bitter little sarcastic ass — the sailing away of his first arc reactor was sweet, truly, it was. But I look at that lake surrounding their cabin and think…it’s just gunna float around out there, making it’s laps around the cabin. I’d hate to be Pepper, waking up one morning and seeing it near the front porch. Unless they go and collect it once everyone leaves…I dunno, fuck, I just don’t even like thinking about this part of the film. It all played out like so much fanfiction I’ve read waiting for this movie. This just wasn’t supposed to be the movies ending, I really can’t say that enough.

Clint and Wanda have a moment that, I suppose, is there to tell us they’re grieving over Nat and Vision. It all felt like cheap throw away lines. Natasha deserved so much more than that, and hell, so did Vision. And hell, so did half of Asgard, and Loki, and all the people who died because of The Decimation.

But it’s okay. Steve’s going to return the stones back to their proper timelines, as promised to The Ancient One, and with that opportunity of time travel he’s going to give the middle finger to the remaining team members he has by staying back in time and “living some of that life Tony told him to get.” How, you ask? By using his other hand to give his other middle finger to the life Peggy Carter established long after him, with a husband and children and a career at SHIELD, so he can marry her.

😑

Imma be honest, when I first watched this movie, it was the cheeseburger line that really broke me. Up til that very moment, I held strong. I ignored all the shitty jokes, the shitty unraveling of character development, the shitty use of time travel, the shitty death of Tony Stark – I ignored it all. For some reason, the cringey-as-fuck “Your father liked cheeseburgers. I’ll get you all the cheeseburgers you want.” line just broke me. It read so much like badly written fanfiction that to sound like the obnoxious white girl I am, I couldn’t even anymore.

But once this scene hit, I was done. This was my “Nah, fuck this movie.” moment. This was my “I absolutely do not accept this” moment. This was when I walked out of the theaters, not waiting for an end credit scene that didn’t even exists anyway, or the credits of all the actors who’ve been in the MCU since 2008. I walked out the moment that dance ended, furious. And honestly, sticking around for that montage the second time around was rough. The anger hadn’t gone away yet.

So, to sum up? Avengers: Endgame played out like a fans poorly written, rushed, badly scripted fanfiction. But that fan had only watched Infinity War and read a couple of fanfictions afterward to get the gist on how to even write in the first place.

I’ve defended the MCU up until this moment. I know a lot of people jumped ship after Civil War; clearly the Russo Brothers were doing something wrong then. But they absolutely destroyed the universe with this movie to the likes that I’ve personally never seen before. What should have been a proper send off for characters (death or no death) ended up being a laughable joke of bad script writing, poor treatment to characters who had been around for a decade, and an idiotic usage of time travel.

Doctor Strange saw 14 million futures. In my head, Endgame was merely one of their lost battles. In my head, I have disowned this movie from the franchise. And while I will always be a Marvel fan, I’m likely done with the MCU moving forward in this odd universe of 2023. It’s just sad that I have to say goodbye with such a bitter taste in my mouth.

Thankfully, that’s what fannon and fandom is for.

[welllpthisishappening]

A good one shot would be emma just starting to show and getting frustrated that people were thinking she was pregnant and not fitting into any of her clothes and Killian being there to comfort her dispite her frustration

I was cleaning out my inbox today and realized I had just like...a lot of Blue Line prompts sitting here that I never did. So, here’s, approximately, 30 minutes of me slamming on keys and writing this exceptionally fluffy fluff about Emma, Killian, unborn babies and overstepping charity directors in Westchester County.

She couldn’t stop swearing. Or sweating. It was a disgusting combination.

But it was so goddamn hot in that apartment and, like, her body and Emma needed to throw several things – namely the half a dozen pucks and three different sticks she’d nearly tripped over on her way into her bedroom.

“God, damn, fu—“

She hissed, teeth bared at the sticks like that would make them disappear. It did not. She didn’t really think it would. And, really, she knew it wasn’t the sticks’ fault.

They were not sentient beings.

They were also not the obnoxious head of a hockey-focused charity in Westchester County that won some obnoxious contest that was actually kind of nice because it meant they won new gear and a chance to meet former Rangers greats, but Emma couldn’t quite wrap her mind around Killian being lumped in with those greats now and they’d been trying to follow the rules on this one.

They told family members. They told close friends. The difference wasn’t really that much, but Emma was focused on the rules and the list and the phrase so when are you due would probably echo in between her ears for the rest of the night.

On loop.

If she ever managed to get to her room.

She and Matt were going to have to have a very serious discussion about stick organization.

And Emma knew the questions would come – eventually, because people were people and Killian was lumped in with former Rangers greats which meant people knew them and the slight swell of her stomach was getting harder and harder to ignore. She wished she could stop sweating. She wished she wasn’t so annoyed by the questions, but she couldn’t ignore that little voice in the back of her head because she might have been harping on the word former more than she liked to admit.

Former. As in old. As in feeling her age. As in sweating profusely over a third kid and a distinct lack of stick-free space in their apartment. 

Emma sighed, running her hand over her face and that was a mistake. “God, that’s so gross,” she mumbled, mostly to herself because she hadn’t heard the door open and that was probably a sign.

“What is?”

She jerked around, the smile obvious in Killian’s voice. “Did you teleport here?”

The smile grew, slow and easy and practiced – as if it was content to do that for the rest of...forever. Without any past tense. “Not a ton of traffic on the Cross—” he started, taking a step into her space and nearly killing himself on the discarded hockey pucks, “Jeez what the hell are these doing out here?”

“Ask your kid.”

“Ah, my kid when he’s tossing hockey supplies everywhere, huh?”

“Something, something, former great.”

“You’ll wound my ego, Swan.”

Emma scoffed, letting her head fall against his chest. She wasn’t really all that surprised by the kiss that landed on her hair. “Yeah, I’m not sure that’s really a problem,” she mumbled, not sure if she was happy or not to find that it wasn’t as easy to crowd against him anymore.

“What are you thinking?”

“A whole lot of real messed up shit.”

He barked out a laugh, another kiss and a squeeze of his arm and she’d been going into their room with a very specific intent. “You know, I’ll be honest, I was expecting more of a deflection.”

“It’s way too hot for that.”

“True,” Killian agreed, trying to move them out of the middle of the hallway. Emma didn’t budge. She was stubborn. And worried. She needed to find her list. “Although, it’s not really all that specific.”

“Yeah, well—“

“And?”

“And what?”

“And did someone say something? Can I guess who it was?”

Emma leaned back, lips quirking up without her explicit permission. But the years didn’t care and the butterflies in her stomach didn’t care and the unexpected, slightly later than-normal per some medical guidelines Emma refused to look at, absolutely did not care and maybe they’d move somewhere with a whole extra room just so Matt could keep hockey sticks there.

“How do you know someone said something?” Emma challenged, a losing battle that was actually kind of fun to wage.

“You do that thing with your nose.”

“Excuse me?”

“Your nose,” he repeated, and she refused to acknowledge whatever light flickered in his eyes. “You don’t quite scrunch it…you kind of twist it, like it’s repelled by the idiocy of the questions you have to deal with.”

Emma’s whole body shook when she laughed, leaning back against Killian’s arm and the hand pressed against her spine and it might have been the most comfortable she’d been in, like, three weeks. At least. “That’s not really the most complimentary thing I’ve ever heard,” she pointed out.

“Eh, I disagree. You’re not the one looking at it, or procreating with it, so comparatively—“

“Are you procreating with my nose? That’s really weird.”

Killian rolled his eyes. “You’re hysterical.”

“You say that like it’s not true.”

“Who asked you overstepping and unacceptable questions?” he pressed, lifting his eyebrows like that would work. It would. They both knew it. Their kids knew it.

It worked on them too, actually.

Emma sagged – twisting her nose as directed or expected or whatever – and licked her lips, not sure if she actually wanted to respond because the flirting was a pretty solid distraction and—“Just the director,” she muttered. “And you’re right. It’s overstepping and unacceptable, but then she said something about having kids so far apart in age and that got me thinking and it’s—“

“—Oh, Swan, are you looking things up online?”

“Aren’t you?”

“I’m not actually. I—well, I’m sure you don’t expect me to be anything except worried—“

“—Because your’e an overprotective freak.”

Another eye roll. But another kiss, so Emma figured that was a wash. “Something like that,” Killian said. “But this is a good thing, Swan, and there are risks everywhere. We could kill ourselves tripping over hockey equipment.”

“Your kid. Seriously.”

“I’ll talk to him when he gets home from school.”

Emma needed to stop sighing. It was absurd. Her body still didn’t care. And her mind was still kind of racing, trying to come to terms with little old ladies without any sort of filter who planted seeds of God-awful thoughts in her brain.

“Everything is going to be fine, love,” Killian continued, low and serious. “It is. And, sure, the kids will be older than him, but that’s how time is counted on the planet Earth, so that was always pretty inevitable.”

There were tears in her eyes. Also absurd. And nice. And normal. And nothing about the word former. “Don’t come at me with your science thoughts, it’s ridiculous,” she grumbled, stabbing the tip of her finger into his chest. “And I don’t want to be worried. Not really. I just…the lady got under my skin and she was so…I want this to be good.”

“It will be.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” Killian promised. “How could it not be? We’ve got good kids, the hockey shit notwithstanding, so I think that’s a pretty good sign we’re pretty good parents. Plus, I’m at least ninety-nine percent positive you were trying to get to our room.”

“God, it’s so weird that you can read minds.”

He shook his head, lips quirking up. “An impressive track record of victories.”

“I’m going to throw a puck at you.”

“Please don’t do that, then I won’t be able to get that one shirt out of the closet.”

“Stupid.”

“Am I right?”

“You know you are,” Emma said, doing her best to sound annoyed and coming up woefully short. It was a thing. It had happened when she was pregnant with Matt and with Peggy and Killian had far too much oversized Rangers-branded merchandise. It was comfortable.

And only a little sentimental.

Killian beamed. “I know I am. It’s going to be good, Swan. Better than. And we’ll make sure Matt learns some sense of organization. You’ve just got to make me one promise, ok?”

“Yeah?” Emma asked warily.

“If there is bed rest involved, you’ve got to do it. No arguing.”

Emma scowled – she knew he’d been reading things, or just memorized things and the second one was probably worse. In a nice, overprotective kind of way. “That’s ridiculous.”

“Yes or no, Swan.”

“Yes, fine. If there is bed rest and the doctor says something I will do it, no arguing.”

Killian ducked his head, a quick kiss and his hand on the ever-growing curve of her stomach. “Good. Let’s go find a shirt.”

And, several months later, when it wasn’t quite as warm and the sticks were still in the hallway, Emma did agree to bed rest with only a minimal amount of grumbling and curses she hoped her kids didn’t hear. She made Killian steal her another shirt from the equipment room as repayment.

[hinduthatrecallsallincarnations]

After Salem is defeated (Red vs Blue, S15, E5):

Ozpin/Oscar: politely "Why don't we start with the simple question of how you've arrived here?"

Lisa Lavender: authoritatively "Nuhuh. We just risked our lives and our careers going from continent to continent for answers. Our questions first."

Raven: leans back in her chair "What do you want?"

Lisa L.: questioningly "We want to know what happened after your supposed defeat of Salem."

Jaune: sighs exasperatedly "Lots of bullshit. I don't even know where the fuck to start."

Yang: inappropriately curious "Is this before or after we turned off the Temple. Because if it's before, this is gonna get NSFW real quick."

Weiss and Blake: shouting "WE PROMISED NOT TO TALK ABOUT THAT!" looks at each other, looks away, blushing

Lisa: confused "Wait, what Temple?"

Qrow: leans forward "So, Salem had a bunch of these Temple tower things surrounding her personal tower, and each one did a different thing. The Temple they're talking about is the Temple of Procreation."

Ozpin/Oscar: elaboratively "It was meant to be a sort of failsafe should she succeed in subjugating the planet. This way, she could raise the humans in her image - quickly, too. It was..." looks around awkwardly "...effective."

Jaune: happy "Oh, yeah. After we killed Salem, we partied fuckin' hard!"

Yang: pleased "Y'all keep saying that! It all felt normal to me!"

Raven: factually "You were a virgin before the events at Salem's base of operations."

Yang: sharply looks at her "YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!"

Raven: smugly opens small portal, and sticks her finger in it

Yang: blushing, swats away finger floating next to her

Raven: quietly retracts finger and deactivates portal

Nora: "Oh, and these two-" points at Weiss and Blake "-are just mad because we locked them in a closet together."

Weiss and Blake: looks at her "SHUT UP!"

Blake: deflectively "And put on some fucking clothes!"

Lisa's Cameraman: seriously curious "Why is she naked?"

Lisa: annoyed "That's your first question??" in realization "Ah, that must be why the planet was in an aphrodisiac-like frenzy for a little while."

Weiss: sharply "THE SUBJECT!"

Blake: sharply "CHANGE IT!"

Raven: initiating "To actually answer your question, after the events with Salem, we decided we all needed some R&R."

Qrow: factually "We fuckin' earned it. Even Ozpin agreed!"

Ozpin/Oscar: elaboratively "I decided that if I'm going to have one last life, I may as well make it a normal one."

Jaune: dramatically "No more adventures? Fuck yeah, I was on board! I'm tired of running around doing the adults' job!"

Ozpin, Qrow, Raven: pointedly looks at him

Jaune: purposefully ignores them

Blake: expositly "Ozpin told us of this isolated island and set us up here. There was an old fort left here and we cleaned it up."

Ruby: explaining "Everyone acclimated to the peace in different ways." points at Yang "Some of us were naturals."

Yang: smug "Don't hate the player."

Ruby: factually "Mom got hopelessly depressed after not dying heroically to Salem to prevent having to deal with Uncle Qrow."

Raven: indignant immediately "L I E S   A N D   S L A N D E R !"

Ruby: defensively "But, you said-"

 flashback

 Raven: factually "I am now hopelessly depressed after not dying heroically to Salem to prevent having to deal with my dumbass of a brother."

 end flashback

 Jaune: deceptively accusatory "Mrs Branwen wasn't the only one having a hard time adjusting to inaction."

Everyone: turns to Weiss

Weiss: annoyed, snaps "What?"

Ozpin/Oscar: amused "Fortunately, we found a tutor."

 flashback

 Weiss: seriously "Help me, Yang. Help me to be the laziest."

Yang: sitting comfortably on the ground, mock nirvana pose "You are not ready, grasshopper."

Weiss: snaps "WHAT THE FU"

 end flashback

 Raven: hesitantly "It...didn't go well..."

Blake: pipes up "Also, it turns out, this island had some native life forms never found before, but...they weren't the nicest."

 flashback

 Weiss, Blake, Yang: running the fuck away from a growling noise

Yang: shouting "RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!"

Blake: hungry "I CAN'T DIE AS FOOD! OOOOOH, THE IRONY!"

 end flashback

 Ren: expositly "While we were debating whether or not dying as food was ironic," turns to Nora "Nora made friends with them."

Yang: annoyed "Because of course she fucking did."

 flashback

 Nora: stands proudly on top of gigantic monster, petting it "Oh, who's a good girl?! Who's a good girl?!"

Raven: shouts up "Corgis are better!"

Ren: shouting "Nora! Get down from there!"

Weiss: hopelessly bored "Tell it to fight me!"

 end flashback

 Weiss: angrily "And then Blake somehow burnt down our only form of nearly modern shelter!"

Blake: defensively "Okay, first of all, lube isn't normally flammable! And B, it was just a simple mishap of dropping the entire bottle on top of my fish scented candles!"

Ruby: accusingly "But you were trying to shove the candles up your ass!"

Blake: AGGRESSIVELY DEFENSIVE "YOU CAN'T PROVE THAT!"

Jaune: annoyed "And since eighty percent of our rations burnt down with our fort, FATASS over here-" gestures to Ruby "-decided to eat some native mushrooms that deceptively looked like cookies."

 flashback

 Ruby: walks up to some mushroom cookie looking things "Hello, sexies."

 a moment later

 Ruby: running around everyone in slow motion

 end flashback

 Blake: expositely "After deliberating for long enough, we figured that they somehow reversed the effect of Semblances," gestures to Qrow "so Qrow ate some."

Qrow: annoyed "Turns out, they don't."

Everyone: silently staring at him

Qrow: narrows eyes "I'm not explaining what happened."

Raven: amused "He was sent to another dimension."

 flashback

 Qrow: in a dark place, alone, echoing words "Hello?"

 end flashback

 Ozpin/Oscar: almost laughter "I told them afterwards that it was actually meant to increase the potency of their Semblances by 5,600%."

Nora: in remembrance "Oh! And while everyone was arguing on how Ruby's Semblance increased in potency by going slower, we formed the best band ever!"

Ruby: deflectively "NORA! CLOTHES!"

Nora: conceding "Sheesh! Alright!" leaves room

Qrow: leans forward excitedly "Oh, yeah! And we even got Raven to sing!"

Raven: blushes, looks away "Oh, God."

Weiss: honestly "She can sing very well! We sang many duets!"

Yang: happily "Turns out, my mom was an old k-pop singer during her time at Beacon!"

Lisa: curiously "How did you convince her to tell you that?"

Blake: deadpan "We didn't. Oscar suggested it."

Ruby: annoyed "Ugh. While that awesomeness was happening, Nora somehow built an entire robotic army to invade the area just so we would have something to fight - since Grimm weren't on the island."

Jaune: guffaws "But they all malfunctioned, so they started fighting the wildlife instead!"

 flashback

 Everyone: staring at the vibrant display in complete and utter silence

Ozpin/Oscar: hesitant amazement "I have seen many amazing things in my life. But this? ...this takes the fucking cake."

 end flashback

 Blake: dismissively "It was the first we'd ever heard the professor swear, too, so that just tells you how crazy it was."

Yang: almost laughter "And then Raven convinced Qrow that Ozpin fucked the first Maidens."

Qrow: slightly indignant "Hey! It was to be expected!"

Raven: grossed out "That ain't happening."

Ozpin/Oscar: deadpan "I wasn't inviting."

Raven: succinct "Good."

Jaune: moving on "Then Nora found a new enemy. One that would keep her occupied for the rest of our time here."

 flashback

 Nora: shouting "FOR FAR TOO LONG, WE HAVE BEEN OPPRESSED! CRUSHED UNDER THE WEIGHT OF OURSELVES! IF WE DON'T START STANDING UP TO OUR MORTAL FOE, GRAVITY, BY GOD WHO WILL?!"

 nearby

 Oscar/Ozpin: practically terrified "Are we really going to let them do this?"

Qrow: agreement "What the kid said."

Raven: amused "Why not see where it goes?"

 later

 Nora: shouting "CHAAARRRRGGGEEEE!"

Raven: drives everyone into the ocean

 end flashback

 Nora: glares at Raven

Raven: unperturbed "I told you I couldn't drive."

Jaune: annoyed "But that just meant that team RWBY both had the tactical advantage in amount of people and equipment."

 flashback

 Nora: drillingly "Gentlemen, we simply cannot allow team RWBY to have superiority over us! WE MUST TAKE THE FIGHT TO THEM!"

Jaune: annoyed "Oh, Remnant Christ."

 end flashback

 Blake: expositly "It made us realize that this whole Team RWBYJNR thing wasn't going to work, so we attempted trying to use forms of government to decide the leader..."

Ozpin/Oscar: curiously "Oh. Qrow, Raven, and I weren't there, actually. Did it go well?"

RWBYJNR: looks at each other

 flashback

 Yang: "I vote Yangarchy."

Blake: sharp sigh "You can't vote yourself, you dumbass."

Nora: "MONARCHY!" flexes with Magnhild in hand "The one wielding the gigantic hammer is worthy!"

Weiss: "Plutocracy."

Yang: "Huh?"

Blake: sighs “Plutocracy is a form of government where it is indebted to and/or controlled by the rich. It can transform any other kind of government into a plutocratic version of itself if the rich come to power."

Ruby: "Technocracy."

Yang: "What?"

Blake: sighs "Technocracy is a form of government where those of knowledge - like weapon engineers, for example - would lead the government in lieu of politicians and businessmen."

Yang: "Oh!"

Ren: "Timocracy."

Yang: "Not to sound like a broken record, buuuuu-"

Blake: sighs "Rule by the worthy."

Jaune: "Patriarchy."

Yang: looks at Blake "That's obvious."

Nora: "OOO! I know! How about Malarkey?!"

Blake: "Nora, that's actually not a form of government. It just means meaningless talk and nonsense."

RWBYJNR: silently stares at one another

 end flashback

 Blake: looks at Ozpin/Oscar "Malarkey won."

Nora: comes back CLOTHED "Oh, yeah. Everyone thought I was dead just because they couldn't find me."

Raven: explaining "Turns out, she was just..." trips over her words a bit "...sk-skinny dipping."

Blake: angrily "And then Ruby, out of a prank, decided to spike my meal with some of her damn mushrookies this morning!"

Yang: in bliss "I'm so proud of her!"

 flashback

 Blake: randomly teleporting "HO-" snap "-LY-" snap "-FUCK-" snap "-ING-" snap "-SHIT!" snap

Nora: in the distance "Has anyone seen my tanning oil?! I accidentally put on some of Blake's lube instead!"

Ren: shouting "NORA! CLOTHES! We have guests!"

Ruby: shouts at Ren "THE ROLLING GEMS!"

Ren: shouts back at Ruby "R-POP!"

Raven: crashes vehicle "I CAN'T FUCKING GET IT!"

 end flashback

 Blake: in conclusion "So...here we are."

Jaune: lamenting "It's been awful! Instead of a peaceful retirement, it's just the SAME damn SHIT, with the SAME DAMN PEOPLE!"

Raven: in complete and utter amazement "Also, the weirdest thing happened!"

Lisa: looks to her "What?"

Everyone: slowly turns towards Qrow

Raven: "Qrow...stopped...drinking..."

[karaokeadvice]

Deep Dive: All I Wanna Do Is Make Love to You

One of our favorite karaoke go-to bands is the powerful Wilson sisters, Ann and Nancy of Heart. They have so many time-tested favorites that (to quote ourselves) bring a little bit metal/a little bit goth/hair drama to the mic. Alone, These Dreams, Barracuda...and this week’s deep dive, the somehow chart-topping “All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You.”

This is an awful song. Let’s explore the confusing/dangerous premise. A driver (Ann) picks up a hitchhiker, they have a night of passion in some random hotel (or is it random, see below), she gets pregnant, they bump into each other a year and a half later and she screams at him to run away.

Ann, set the scene for us.

“It was a rainy night when he came into sight

Standing by the road, no umbrella, no coat

So I pulled up alongside and I offered him a ride

He accepted with a smile so we drove for a while”

So many red flags! Where to begin. Well, first of all, Ann--WHY ARE YOU PICKING UP HITCHHIKERS? Is this a thing? Hitchhiker guy, why are you so ill-prepared for inclement weather? I have so many questions. But where is the hitchhiker going? Oh, it doesn’t matter, Ann has a different idea.

“I didn’t ask him his name

This lonely boy! in the rain!

Fate tell me it’s right

Is this love at first sight? [No?]

Please don’t make it wrong

Just stay for the night

(CHORUS!)

All I wanna do is make love to you

Say you will you want me too

All I wanna do is make love to you

I got lovin’ arms to hold on to

So we found this hotel, it was a place I knew well”

Wait, WHAT? Are you creepily driving around town looking hitchhiking men? Is that why the hotel is “a place I knew well”??? If so, why would you jump to the conclusion that this time it’s “love at first sight” with a “boy” (?!) whose name you’re not even going to ask. Is the desk clerk giving you a knowing nod and the keys to your favorite room? (237? Don’t go in that one, hitchhiker!) Then Ann proceeds to tell us ALL ABOUT what went down in the room. Gross.

“We made magic that night

Oh he did everything right

He brought the woman out of me, so many times, easily

And in the morning when he woke all I left him was a note

I told him I am the flower you are the seed

We walked in the garden we planted a tree”

Quick question: how did she know she was pregnant already, assuming that what “planting a tree” is referencing? Is Ann a sorceress?! (Ann Wilson being a sorceress is actually the most likely and least controversial theory that could possibly come out of this deep dive.)

She goes on:

“Don’t try to find me please don’t you dare

Just live in my memory! You’ll always be there!”

So presumptuous. This man just wanted a ride! Also, she makes a point of telling us that she didn’t ask him his name so it seems unlikely they exchanged contact info and he will be able to find her; this is 1990! Pre-internet stalking! Presumably he could just come back to the hotel she knows well and ask the desk clerk if she’s been back around recently, but again, seems like a stretch. Time for the extremely squicky bridge!

“Oooh, we made love

Love like strangers

All night long

Ooooooooo we maaaaaaaaade loooooove”

Well, you are strangers. This is a stranger you just picked up by the side of the road in your car.

Fast-forward to...I dunno, some future time and place. Judging from the video, it’s been perhaps a year and a half. I’m thinking the place is probably the grocery store? In the next aisle we have Dan Fogelberg and his old lover fumbling in the frozen foods and up at the front it’s The Waitresses checking out with a basket full of cranberry sauce. Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! SORRY. Getting off topic. Anyway, let’s let Ann tell us what happens next:

“Then it happened one day, we came round the same way

You can imagine his surprise when he saw his own eyes!”

She’s so casual. “We came round the same way.” Are they both living in a small town? If so, maybe she should have expanded her sperm donor search area. This isn’t a Big Chill scenario. I’m also not sure “surprise” is the best word choice for this particular encounter. I can imagine his shock, confusion, and anger conflating in a frantic mix of emotions, none of which is “surprise,” note about planting a tree notwithstanding. But, whatever. He saw his own eyes.

Then, adding to the emotional pile on, Ann screams at this undoubtedly gobsmacked stranger staring into his own eyes-but-in-a-baby’s face that she’s in love with another man but...they had trouble conceiving and so she decided to take matters into her own hands and find a hitchhiking sperm donor and just keep trying that method until it worked out? I appreciate anyone taking control of their sexuality and fertility, but this is wildly extreme.  

“I said please, please understand!

I'm in love with another man!

And what he couldn't give me (woooaaaahhhhh)

was the one little thing that you can!”

So this song is terrible. We all agree. And do you know who else agrees? Ann and Nancy Wilson! AND THAT’S NOT ALL! This is not even the original version of this song! The original was recorded by Dobie Gray in 1979 and is (as Wikipedia helpfully summarizes) “a love song without a storyline.” It’s just a horned-up ode to “making love”--there is no bizarre story involving seducing a stranger in order to get pregnant because the man you love is infertile. Is this the only way a woman was able to sing about wanting a night of passion with no strings--adding the heftiest, most unbreakable strings imaginable to the encounter?!  All we know is that sometime between 1979 and 1990, “Mutt” Lange (nothing good ever happens with Mutt, just ask Shania) decided it needed a rewrite, and here we are. Ann hates it so much that she devoted a section of the liner notes (remember those?) of their album The Road Home to decrying it. "Actually we had sworn off it because it kind of stood for everything we wanted to get away from. It was a song by "Mutt" Lange, who we liked, and it was originally written for Don Henley, but there was a lot of pressure on us to do the song at the time."

Ok, DON HENLEY was going to sing this?! How on earth would that have worked, with the whole surprise pregnancy scenario?! And, there was a lot of pressure?? Who, exactly, was pressuring you to do this weird hitchhiker casual sex but it’s ok because it’s for the sake of PROCREATION ballad? What the hell, Mutt?!

Best of all, in an interview with Dan Rather (!!!), Ann described the song as “hideous” and the lyrics as “problematic.” Ann, we totally agree! Why did you decide to perform this song in the first place? Tellingly, Ann and Nancy have dropped it completely from their set list, and have not performed it live in years. And in the end, it looks like Dan Rather got here first with his own version of a televised Deep Dive, but I’m ok with that. There are no new stories, after all.

[duhragonball]

[FIC] Luffa: The Legendary Super Saiyan (102/?)

Disclaimer: This story features characters and concepts based on Dragon Ball, which is a trademark of Bird Studio/Shueisha and Toei Animation.   This is an unauthorized work, and no profit is being made on this work by me. This story is copyright of me. Download if you like, but please don’t archive it without my permission. Don’t be shy.

Continuity Note: About 1000 years before the events of Dragon Ball Z.

Previous Chapters conveniently available here.

[30 January, 233 Before Age.   Planet Server’la.]

Over the next six weeks, Guwar had learned a great deal about his new partners, but very little about the object of their search.

Treekul, the only non-Saiyan in the group, was an alchemical historian.    She knew a few techniques for preparing mystical elixirs and so on, but her main focus of study was the lore.    Unlike the sciences of chemistry and biology, which made progress through rigorous documentation and peer review, alchemy was a secret discipline, with reclusive masters teaching on a select handful of students.   When they recorded their work at all, it was always done in an esoteric style.   Simple instructions were expressed as complex riddles.   Ingredients were given symbolic codenames which would be meaningless to the uninitiated.   Typically, an alchemical scroll promised much: immortality, mastery over living things, the power to transmute lead into gold.   But once you actually sat down and read them, they delivered very little: Vague sermons, arcane philosophical tracts, and references to other works which were conveniently unavailable.   Guwar had heard about this sort of thing, and always assumed it was an enormous bluff, no different from the way he would use the Saiyans' reputation to make himself seem more powerful than he actually was.  

And yet, Treekul seemed to be able to make sense of it all, at least to a certain extent.   She had shown him a few documents she had worked on in the past, and explained how she was able to filter the "important stuff" from the "crap", as she put it.  Part of the alchemical tradition was to deliberately add a lot of pointless fluff to one's writings, in order to disguise the true wisdom and to trick the unworthy into dismissing their sacred knowledge as nonsense.    "Once you've studied enough of their writings," she had told him, "you can start to decode it, and see what they were really talking about."

Treekul hailed from the Planet Clytemnestra, whose people had pale purple skin and dark green hair.   Treekul preferred to keep her own hair as short as possible, as she said it helped her focus on her research.    "Don't ask me why, but that extra quarter inch of growth on my head just makes me nuts," she had said one day while he saw her applying a trimmer to her scalp.   As a result, Guwar noticed that she tended to leave tiny green clippings behind everywhere she went.  

Endive, one of the Saiyans, was usually the one flying their ship.   She was a smuggler by trade, though she liked to find a good battle between jobs, much the same way that Guwar did when his mathematics skills weren't needed.   Like Guwar, she had been forced to scale back her recreational fighting ever since Luffa had begun cracking down on Saiyan activity.  

"I tried getting as far from Federation space as I could," she once told him.   "I found a nice little civil war on Rofos III.    They had mechs, triffles, and all sorts of interesting weapons.    I was in heaven... for all of two weeks, and then she showed up and ruined the whole thing.  That was when I made up my mind.    One way or another, I refuse to be pushed around again."

Endive never had much to say, but Guwar enjoyed hearing it, if only for the chance to admire her looks.   She had woven the end of her black hair in to a short, thick braid, which hung between her shoulder blades like a piece of halyard rope from a sailing ship.   The bridge of her nose was at a steep angle, which he found aesthetically pleasing, especially whenever she frowned.  Luckily for him, she frowned quite often, since the ship's navigation system wasn't quite up to her personal standards.    She and Treekul had recruited him into this group by tricking him into thinking he would get to sleep with one or both of them.   Watching Endive handle the controls of the ship, he often wished that there was a way to take her up on it.

As for Lesseri, he had dealt with her in the past, though he had always known her to be a ruthless, indomitable warrior.   For years he had envied her superior strength and financial success.   For example, the ship they now traveled in was hardly luxurious, but it was fast and well-armed, and comfortably quartered six people, which made it far nicer than the broken down one-seater Guwar had left behind on Paxul's Planet.   From afar, he had always thought Lesseri to be the model of what a Saiyan should be: a warrior who could go anywhere and do anything she pleased, because she had the might to enforce her own will.  

Now that he had lived with her for a while, and seen her ship from the inside, he realized they had more in common than either of them probably cared to admit.   Lesseri thought of herself as a weakling compared to other Saiyans, just as he saw himself.  This surprised Guwar at first, but the more he thought about it, the more sense it made.    There was always a bigger fish in the pond.  He had always thought Lesseri retreated from untenable situations because she was so cold and calculating, but the truth was that she was afraid of dying, just like everyone else.   She was farther ahead of him in the search for greater power, but the gap between them was insignificant compared to how far they each had to go.    In spite of their past enmity, Guwar was beginning to like her.   When their quest led to searching a tomb on an abandoned planet, he was happy to join her.

"I killed my mother," Lesseri told him as she punched her way through the wall that surrounded the necropolis.  They had been talking about family, and this was where the conversation had led.  

"Why?" Guwar asked.

"You know those procedures where you can have your embryos removed from your womb and gestated outside of your body?"

"No, I had no idea you could do that," Guwar said.   He had no interest in procreation, and since he lacked a uterus, he cared very little what others did with theirs.

Lesseri shook her head.   "Men," she groaned.   "A lot of Saiyan women do it when they get pregnant.    Back when Planet Saiya was still up and running, they practically ordered people to do it."

"Okay," Guwar said.  "What about it?"

"My mother did it through a private company, only she never came back to get me when it was time.    Growing up, it kind of pissed me off.  My sister, she used to make excuses.   She thought mom must have died in battle, or she couldn't pay the bills or something.    When I got older, I tracked her down.   Wasn't even that hard.   She wasn't even trying to hide."

"Must have been a hell of a fight," Guwar said as he doubled checked their coordinates.    

"Nah, I checked her out first before I confronted her.   She was too close to me in power.   I might have won, but there was no guarantee, and I wanted a guarantee.   That was how we both ended up training with Luffa."

Guwar nearly dropped his scanning device.   "You trained with Luffa?" he asked.  

"If you can call it that," Lesseri said.   "Mostly it was Luffa and her alien wife scolding us like we were naughty children.   The leader of the group, guy named Zaperc, he tried to start this 'movement' where we'd learn to become Super Saiyans ourselves.   My mother joined on, and so did I.    Didn't want to risk her learning anything that might make her stronger and protect her from my revenge.    Anyway, Luffa found out about Zaperc's group and took over the whole thing.   Not that there was much to take over, but I guess she didn't like the idea of trash like us taking her name in vain.  Anyway, I waited until the right moment, then I rigged a bomb on my mother's ship.    As soon as things went pear-shaped, I knew she'd try to run for it, and sure enough--"

Lesseri clapped her hands together for effect.    "Boom.  Luffa didn't like it, but she didn't care much for my mother either, so she just sort of stood there while I left."

"What did your sister think?" Guwar asked.

"Beats me," Lesseri said.   "I haven't seen her in years.   She might be dead.    Hold on, I think this is it."

Near the center of the necropolis was a large mausoleum that looked like a great stone chrysalis.   There were small alien creatures clinging to its surface, and the glossy surface of their chitinous shells made the entire structure seem almost alive.

"Yeah, I think this is the one we want.   Let me take some readings before we smash our way in.   Wouldn't want to break anything important."

"So what happened after that?" Guwar asked.

"After what?" Lesseri replied.

"After you killed your mother," Guwar said.   "I've never gotten revenge for anything before.  I wondered what it was like."

"To be honest, it felt kind of empty," Lesseri said.  "I didn't regret it, but I'd spent my whole life on that one goal, and then it was over.    Mostly, it stuck in my craw that I wasn't strong enough to kill the old bag directly.   Luffa had no business giving me her opinion on it, but she was right.   It would have been more satisfying to fight her instead of blowing her up.    Mom didn't deserve the honor, but at least if I'd beaten her fairly, I would have had something to be proud of."

"I suppose so," Guwar said.

"That was when I started looking for ways to get stronger.   I've had enough of people pushing me around like I'm some bystander.    Being a Saiyan used to mean something, but lately it just feels like it makes you a patsy for King Rehval, or Luffa, or anyone else who happens to hit the genetic lottery.    I wanted to make my own opportunity."

"And that was how you met Treekul?" Guwar asked.

"Exactly," Lesseri said.    "I've heard rumors about Saiyans using a technique called 'Jindan' to increase their power.    I know we haven't told you much about it, Guwar, but that's only because we don't know much more than you do.   It's not easy finding a Saiyan these days, so if there's anything to the rumors, these jacked up Saiyans are staying out of sight."

"If that's true," Guwar reasoned, "then maybe this Jindan thing isn't all it's cracked up to be.   The Saiyans who use Jindan still have to hide from Luffa just like the rest of us."

"Could be," Lesseri said, "but it could also mean that they don't want the competition finding out about their secret.    If everyone could use it--whatever 'it' is--then we'd all be right back where we started.    And even if it doesn't make you as strong as a Super Saiyan, it could still be a big gain.   I don't know about you, but I'll take whatever I can get."

"I'm picking up some unusual readings," Guwar said.   "But nothing Saiyan."

Lesseri checked her own scanner and then compared her results to his.    "Yeah, Treekul was afraid of something like this.    We'll have to take a few precautions before we break into this thing.   Give me a hand, will you?"

*******

Thousands of years ago,  a brilliant scholar was interred in a mausoleum.   Over time, his students were buried nearby, and as the scholar's wisdom of the natural world grew into legend, a superstition arose that those who were buried near his tomb would pass on a blessing to their descendants.   Centuries passed, and the scholar came to be revered as a god, whose worshipers believed would one day rise from the dead and rule over the planet.   It was said that those buried in the necropolis that surrounded his tomb would be revived as his holy servants.

Before the planet's intelligent life forms vanished, their history included several wars fought over this sacred ground.    Conquerors thought that by controlling the necropolis, they could convince others of their supremacy.    New religions attempted to assimilate the necropolis's mythical status into their own theologies.   During more enlightened times, scientists would attempt to study the graves to learn the truth behind the legends.   But the scholar's mausoleum was never successfully breached, for when the ancient one was having it built, he planned to take his greatest secrets with him into the hereafter.    To ensure that graverobbers would not plunder his great writings, he treated the interior of his tomb with a concoction of his own making.   It would make the stone heal itself when broken.   In case this was not enough to dissuade intruders, he prepared a guardian, an unliving creature that would become active when fresh air entered the tomb.   Its creator had named it Qursss, and it drew strength from the very earth surrounding the mausoleum.   Once unleashed, it would not rest until it had destroyed all living things in the vicinity.   When its grisly task was finished, it would lumber back into the tomb, which would then reseal itself.  

And so, when the first breeze of fresh air entered the tomb in over fifteen centuries, Qursss stirred and reawakened to its strange un-life.   A blue flame ignited from a pile of ashes, and then it grew, transmuting into a vaguely humanoid form cast in minerals and the bones of its past victims.   Without hesitation, it rushed towards the source of the air current, and wailed its fearsome warning to any who could hear.  

"Woe betide you, graverobbers!   Know that you have summoned Qursss the Unquenchable, and for daring to defile my master's resting place, you must pay with your lives!"

It saw light from the fissure in the stone, and then the crack exploded into an opening large enough for a person to enter.  

"Yeah, I see it now," Guwar said as he peeked inside to look at Qursss.    "We'd better lure the thing outside before we proceed."

Qursss roared as it chased after Guwar.    "Mortal fool!" it shouted.  "You have sealed your doom this day!   Qursss shall pursue you to the ends of the--"

It paused at the threshhold of the hole in the mausoleum.  Guwar stood just outside, waiting patiently for Qursss to follow him.    The only thing missing from this scene was the ground.  Guwar was standing in midair.    

"Looks like you were right," Guwar said.    "This creature's immortal, but it doesn't seem to be able to fly."

Beneath them, Qursss could hear a second intruder, and its primitive intellect slowly realized that she was carrying the entire mausoleum in her arms.     "Aw, well, if he’s too shy to step outside," Lesseri said, "I guess I'll have to give him some encouragement!"

The whole structure began to shake, and Qursss lost its balance.   Unable to react in time, it tumbled forward, and as it fell, it realized that it was thousands of feet in the air.  

It wanted to threaten its enemies, to warn them that such trickery would avail them nothing, since Qursss would follow them and destroy them for as long as it took to restore its master's tomb.    But it had already noticed the ocean below, and Qursss knew that its master had designed it to sleep in the absence of fresh air.    No, there could be no reprisal.  Qursss would sink like a stone once it hit the water, and Qursss would fall dormant for a very long time.   Perhaps one day, when the oceans themselves boiled away, Qursss would stir once more, but that would not be for a very long time.   There was absolutely nothing it could do.    The enemy had won.    

Its final thought, as its monstrous body shattered upon the water's surface, was to wonder why its master had never thought to give it wings.

*******

[31 January, 233 Before Age.    Interstellar Space.]

"What I don't understand," Guwar asked Treekul, "is how you found that planet in the first place.    It was uncharted, and it looked like no one had been there in centuries."

"Geomantic extrapolation," Treekul replied as she ran her finger over the text of the parchment the Saiyans had removed from the mausoleum.    "You're sure this was the only scroll you found in the tomb, right?"

"Positive," Guwar said.    "What was that you said a second ago?"

She sat up from her bunk and finally looked at him.   "Geomancy," she said.   "In my line of work, you can't rely on the people who write these things to actually help you by citing sources.    Sometimes you have to use other methods to connect the dots.    That planet you and Lesseri went to, I don't know what it's called, or the name of the guy who wrote this scroll, but it's written in the same language as the last four scrolls I studied, and uses symbols and notations he would have learned from an older master known as 'Server'.   Not his real name, by the way.  None of these guys ever used their real name."

"You... you really haven't answered my question," Guwar said.  

She pointed to a disc-shaped object hanging from the opposite wall of her cabin.    It appeared to be made of wood, and hundreds of tiny characters and sigils were written upon its surface.   "That's a geomantic compass," she said.    "Normally you use it for aligning ki energies with planetary fields, but a specialist can use it to locate objects bound by special connections.   Server's other disciples had most of the information I needed, but not all of it, so I calibrated my compass with information from the scrolls I had, and used that to point me in the general direction of the one that I didn't.   It's taken a lot of course corrections to narrow it down, but considering how long the planet's been lost, I think ten days was a pretty decent turnaround."

Guwar was beginning to understand how some of his clients felt whenever he explained the more complicated aspects of probability theory.   "Look," he said, "I just want to understand how this gets us any closer to Jindan.   Does that scroll mention it?   Does that mean it was invented thousands of years ago?"

"No, of course not," Treekul said.    "You have to understand how this works, Guwar.    All we really know about Jindan-- and I'm using the word 'know' very loosely-- is that it makes Saiyans stronger somehow, and it just happens to share the name of one of the terms used for the golden elixir, a central concept of alchemical thought.    Until we find out more, our best chance is to dig through old writings, and hopefully find scrolls and records that were used to invent this particular Jindan.    We do that, and we'll have something resembling a lead to what you three are after."

He made a long sigh when he heard this.   "It all sounds pretty hopeless," he said.  

She smiled and lay back down on her bunk.   "Trust me, Guwar, I've been digging up old secrets my whole career.   If there's something to be found, I'll find it.    It just takes time.  And the occasional defiling of an ancient burial ground, but you and Lesseri didn't seem to have much trouble with that at all.   Even if it takes us a year to hit paydirt, wouldn't you say it was worth it?"

Guwar supposed he couldn't argue with that.   "I guess I'll leave you to your work then," he said as he rose from her chair and headed for the door.   "I could use something to eat anyway."

"Hey, drop by anytime," she said.  "It's good to bounce ideas off of you.   Oh, could you toss me my trimmer before you go?   My scalp's getting a little itchy."

*******

[9 February, 233 Before Age.   Thalos I.]

Days later, with nowhere in particular to go, the Saiyans decided to land on a planet to indulge in some hunting and gathering.    Guwar preferred gathering, as it made more sense from an efficiency standpoint.   The ship's sensors could tell him where to go to find abundant supplies of edible plants, and he could collect those much more quickly than he could chase down a comparable mass of wild animals.   Most Saiyans didn't look at it that way, and so when Lesseri and Endive chose to hunt large reptiles on the western continent, he wasn't surprised.

What did surprise him was when Endive approached him later, while he was bundling his first batch of roots and berries for the cargo hold.   They weren't supposed to meet up for another hour.

"I thought you were hunting," he said.  

"I decided to see if you needed any help," she said.    "Lesseri has things well in hand."

"She usually does," Guwar said.   "But I think I've covered my end pretty well."

"What do you think of our little band so far, Guwar?" she asked.    

He finished weaving a simple rope and began wrapping it around a stack of starchy plants he had found in a marsh.    "I'm used to working alone," he said, "but so far I'm impressed with the operation.   All of you are professional, sensible.   Treekul's a bit flaky, but she's an alien, so I won't hold it against her."

"Have you considered what will happen when we succeed, Guwar?" Endive asked.    She took a seat on one of the cargo crates and put her palms on her knees.  

"We'll all get stronger," he said.  "Much stronger, with any luck.   I, for one, plan to be able to write my own ticket."

"And what about Lesseri?" she asked.   "She's stronger than both of us right now.   It stands to reason that if our quest succeeds, she stands to become even stronger still."

"That makes sense to me," Guwar said slowly.   "What's your point, Endive?"

"Merely that we should be considering our own separate interests at this stage of the partnership," she replied.   "Our working theory is that there are already Saiyans out there using Jindan in secret.   They will not be pleased to see three more added to their number.   For every Saiyan that learns the secret, it depreciates in value."

"And if we were talking about treasure," Guwar surmised, "sooner or later we'd have to decide if it would be better to split it two ways instead of three."

"I see this as no different, Guwar," Endive said.    "The other Saiyans may try to stop us from reaching our goal.   But they may find two Saiyans easier to accept into their domain than three.   And if they happen to be fairly weak Saiyans--like you and me-- well, we'd hardly be much of a threat to their plans, now would we?"

"What exactly are you suggesting, Endive?" he asked.   He tried to keep his tone neutral, hoping not to tip his hand.   At the moment, he saw no compelling reason to turn against Lesseri, but he didn't want to appear to reject the idea, just in case she was on to something.

"For the moment, nothing at all," she said briskly.   "I simply wanted to share my appraisal of the situation.   When the time comes to make a decision, there may not be a chance to confer privately, Guwar.  So I thought we should discuss certain... contingencies in advance."

He was about to ask her what contingencies she had in mind, when the communicators on their wrists began to chirp.   It was Treekul.  She had found something.

*******

The closest thing Lesseri's ship had to a meeting area was the mess hall situated between the cabins and the cockpit.  Treekul presented her findings on a small display screen normally used for entertainment purposes.  Guwar found her delivery surprisingly polished and scholarly, considering that she was giving it in her pajamas, which bore flecks of green hair clippings from the last three times she trimmed her scalp.  

"I know a lot of what I just said went over your heads," she said as she finished explaining how she arrived at her conclusions.   "I just want to give you a bird's eye view of what I've done, so you won't think this I just pulled all of this out of my ear.  

"We've trusted you this far, Treekul," Lesseri said.   "And I think we get the general idea."

Lesseri had put her feet up on the table and crossed her ankles.   Endive was busy eating some raw meat from her hunting, while Guwar sat on the table itself.   He had some question about Treekul's data, but he decided to save them for when he could speak with her in private.   He suspected that the others would do the same.  

"All right, then here's the bottom line," Treekul said as she tapped the screen to advance to the next image.   The good news is that my theory was correct, and we've been on the right track.    We've established a line of spagyrist masters who studied techniques for increasing physical attributes.  We're talking about simple stuff, like healing minor injuries, or improving concentration, but each record we've found states that the masters were looking ahead to a refinement of the research.   A 'golden elixir', or a perfection of what they had begun to explore.  They called that ideal experiment 'jindan', which means whoever invented what we're looking for must have based his research upon their earlier work."

"But the scroll we just found was never used by anyone," Lesseri said.   "That tomb hadn't been touched in centuries, and the wax seal on the scroll itself was unbroken."

"Right, but it did give me more information to plug into my calculations," Treekul said.    That means my geomantic measurements will be more precise from here on out, and there's a lot less guesswork about where to look next."  She tapped the star chart on the monitor, causing it to zoom in on a single star system.   "Turns out we'll have to go to the Quadzityz System after all," she said.

"That whole sector is a war zone," Endive said.  

"Fine by me," Lesseri said with a smile.   "With all the fighting, we can slip in, take what we need, and no one will notice we were there.   We might even score some plunder if we have time."

"Yes, that does sound quite pleasant," Endive replied,  "but that isn't my point.  A stray bombardment could destroy our objective before we even have a chance to reach it."

"Not to mention the mercenaries working that sector," Guwar added.   "Saiyans or not, some of them are bound to be stronger than us.    If we're not careful, we could find ourselves outmatched.   Then we'd be the ones getting plundered."

"It's worse than you think," Treekul said.    "I monitored the war reports from that sector, just to get some idea of what we'd be getting into.    Turns out the fighting has escalated even more than we knew.   Someone brought slorgs into the conflict."

"Slorgs!" Endive said with a gasp.    "Then it's only a matter of time before Luffa gets involved!  She'd never tolerate a slorg infestation anywhere near the Federation border."

"And that brings me to the 'Bad News' part of my presentation," Treekul said with a sigh.   She tapped the screen one more time, bringing up an image from a news periodical.   The photo accompanying the article showed a Saiyan with glowing yellow hair and tail, holding a Quadzity armored troop transport over her head.    Terrified soldiers were fleeing from her as she smashed the vehicle into a large boulder.

"Luffa's not just going to get involved on Quadziityz," Treekul said.    "She's already there."

NEXT: The War Against War

[ozmontague-blog]

Seriously?!?! || Oz & Valeria

Parties: Oz Montague and Valeria Montague

Date: Monday, July 28th

Location: Oz’s office in the Tower

Summary: Valeria hears that Ginny was allowed to enter a claim and takes Oz to task for his unfairness and Oz’s starts yet another shit week 

Triggers/Other Notes: None

Mentions: Emmet Capulet @emmetcapuletdom, Ginevra Montague @ginnymontague, Will Capulet @willxcapulet

@valeria-montague

Val could not believe what she had just heard, and she was livid. How dare her uncle grant Ginny permission to get claimed by Will Capulet, while she was practically begging him to trust her, and allow the same thing with Emmet, and all he could grant her was a lift on her travel ban. She saw red, and she was not going to allow him to get away with it. She walked past his receptionist, straight into his office, and slammed her purse on his desk, "How dare you! Are you fucking kidding me right now? Ginny! You give permission to Ginny before me!" She never took her eye off of him, she had backed down too long, but not today.

Oz picked up his coffee cup and was about to take a sip when the door to his office flung open. "Of for fuck's sake Valeria." He growled unhappily. He was exhausted and temperamental. He had not wanted to permit the claim but after being so undermined by Dante, he had been between a rock and a hard place. "Dante did." he stated flatly, "Whereas your parents have left the decision to me."

Val was not buying that, "Bullshit! You know you could have still said no if you wanted too, but you didn't, and now she is happily going to get claimed to Will Capulet. The same Will Capulet that said could not provide for her like she deserves. But me, I can't get claimed by Emmet Capulet, who has more money to take care of me, although I can take care of myself, but you know he can securely take care of me, and you still say no. Do you not want to see me happy? Is that it?"

Oz stared at the girl, feeling his own rage bubble below the surface. With great effort his maintained his calm. "You know that finances was never the reason I objected to that actor. Stop playing coy. He encouraged and facilitated your defiance and public embarrassment of me and this family. He is weak and since you clearly have no fucking control, you need strength. If you honestly believe coming in here and making a scene is persuasive in your favour then you have taken leave of every last one of your senses Valeria. Now sit down and stop being such a goddamned child."

Val wanted to scream, but she also knew that she needed to talk to her uncle and not just scream. She took her seat, "So, how long do I have to be punished for my mistake uncle Oz? I made the decision to leave, and Emmet tried to stop me, but I made the decision to be there for him on such a big night for him. This is the pinnacle of his career, and he was rewarded for it, and I didn't want to miss that. So I can't apologize anymore for that, I have done it enough. But for you to hold that over my head, and deny me the opportunity to be with the man I love is so wrong. I have done all I could to make up for what I've done, but all you can do is give me crumbs, while you offer the whole damn loaf to everyone else."

Oz laughed bitterly with no humour in his voice. "It hasn't been an entire year but of course, you have already quite moved on from it, haven't you Valeria? And don't give me lies about Emmet trying to stop you. That's bullshit and we both know it. If anyone had pulled that nonsense with me, jeopardizing my standing, they certainly wouldn't have been purchased jewellery for and allowed to walk down the red carpet. That is the weakest version of 'no' I have ever seen in 45 years. He rewarded you for your defiance and let's not pretend otherwise. Also I have allowed your relationship to continue against my better judgment and have even been so recently impressed as to permit travel if you will recall. So far from denying you the chance to be with him, which would have been my right to do, I permitted it. Generously. You have yet to earn the whole damn loaf. Either of you. I will not reward temper tantrums or permissive weakness. Frankly, the only thing you are convincing me of is that I was right."

Val stood up, "NO! I am not going to allow you to talk about Emmet that way, he is not weak, and yes he wanted me there with him, why wouldn't he? He loves me, and wants me to share in these moments with him, and for you to act like you have never made a mistake, or done something stupid for love, then again I call bullshit. You are not right about this, what you are is cruel. If it was in your rights to tear us apart, then why not do it, instead of letting me have hope in my heart that one day you would come around, knowing you never planned on letting that happen. And I am supposed sit around and watch everyone else get what they want, and even help them plan it, but never getting that moment for myself? That is the worse thing you could do to me uncle Oz, the worse."

Oz rose to his feet to look down at the petite enraged girl, "That is enough! You have no right to speak to me in this manner. If you cannot be civil then you will leave. I have had enough. For the record, you are making a great deal of assumptions about my personal life that are not warranted or invited." Frankly at this point, his regret was damaging Megan's life by claiming her in the first place. However, that was not information he would share with Valeria. They had not healed enough between them for shared confidences and frankly after today he suspected any hope for it was long gone. "Do you really want me to order you to end your relationship? Think carefully before you issue challenges like that to a cruel monster like me."

Val sighed and sat back down, "You are doing this you know that? This is all your fault, and you are too blind to see it. I honestly can't understand why you are being so stubborn, and putting our families lives on the line. All you have to do is allow a few of us to be claimed, and we can all stay, but you are truly showing why people call you a monster, and I know you better than that. I know that you are not a heartless as you want people to believe you are. You are the same man that had tea parties with me when I was a little girl. The same man that read me bedtime stories at night, and checked under my bed for monsters when I was scared. So I know you are not that monster, but you are so desperate to make people believe that you are, that now, you are starting to act like one." She knew she didn't want him to break her and Emmet apart, but she was not going to let him control her whole life. "You know that's not what I want, but let me throw a challenge back your way, if you do decide to order the end of Emmet and my relationship, I will do what Vin and Alice did, and you know Emmet will back me up, and we'll leave Verona ourselves." She looked him in the eye, "Is that what you want uncle Oz? I love you and I want to be here with my family, but you are pushing me away right now."

Oz waited until Valeria sat before he followed suit. The trip down memory lane was not particularly welcome. "Then you will now have cause to join them. I will be the Monster of Verona. You can proudly claim to be among the first to spot it or the last as the case may be." He sighed, "I will not tolerate any elopements Valeria. So put that out of your head. The one thing I like about that foppish tattooed pup that Ginny has grown inexplicably fond of is that he talked her out of such a notion. I will lay the blame squarely at your Dominant's door for permitting such a permanent rift with your family."

Val sighed, "I don't want to join them, I want to be a Montague and a Capulet. I love my family, and I love you, but how do you expect me to behave when you are coming against me with who I love." She wanted to cry, but she knew he would think she was weak because of it. "Fine, I won't elope, but I want you to be fair with me uncle Oz. I love Emmet, and that's not going to change, so why won't you allow me to be happy? I am not going to leave you, and I know you know that, I will always be a Montague, no matter what, but I want to be claimed....and have babies. I want my kids to know you like I know you."

Oz nodded as she at least conceded on this point. "I expect you to behave as a grown woman who is still earning my trust who has, without my understanding of it, grown to love a Dominant who is still earning my respect. I know you have magically pretended that well is dry and there should be no more atonement but trust does not regrow in an instant. I had already thought myself to be moving in the correct direction by permitting you to travel with him, for the very first time with actual permission. I apologize if your procreation plans need to be put off for a few more months due to my recalcitrant ways but you were stuck with me as the head of your family and not the placid weakness that is Lady Bea. Frankly you would have run ramshod over her before you were in puberty from what I can see."

Val had enough of this talk, "I don't know what to say to you right now, I am livid..." She sighed and shook her head, "I never thought that trust would grow back instantly, but I did hope because I am your niece that you would show me a bit more mercy, but obviously not. Just knowing that you are allowing Ginny to get claimed, before me, when I have been asking about it so much longer just baffles me." She grabbed her purse, "So how long is it going to take? Because that was so long ago, and maybe not a year, but is that the cut off time for you trust me again?" She knew he was right about Lady Bea, "You might be right about that, but remember I learned what I know from you."

Oz nodded, "Your feelings are understandable and frankly at this moment if I could retract my consent to that claim I would. I did so in a fit of pique and I have paid dearly for my momentary lapse in good judgment, as evidenced by your visit today. You act as if I handed this to them with great blessings. I have not. I will not. But Ginny's soon to be Dominant..." At that Oz made a face of pure disgust, "At least has been prepared to live by the rules and conditions I have set them and has never sought to undermine me or make me look publicly foolish."

Val sighed, "So this is all about that huh? You know how persuasive I am, and even if Emmet would have said no, I would have gone anyway. You know I would, so please don't blame this all on Emmet. He is not a weak dominant, he was just cursed to fall in love with a stubborn submissive, that would rather do what she wants, and risk the consequences later." She sat back, "Do you think that maybe if you set some guidelines on Emmet and me, would you, even if it is begrudgingly, allow Emmet and I a claim."

Oz stared for a moment and then shrugged, "Were the consequences worth it Valeria?" he asked very seriously. "I will consider it. But that is all I will concede."

Val "It wasn't great, but it showed me that I can do anything I want to do if I put my mind to it. And that I don't have to be reliant on you and your money, that I can make it on my own. But I hate you not trusting me, when I know there are things you want to tell me, but you are holding back, and that sucks. That's the most important thing I lost." Val sighed, "But I appreciate the consideration." She got up and headed to the door, "I do love you uncle Oz, but please think about it seriously."

Oz considered her words and nodded, "Yes, I miss you as well. But I cannot divulge my thoughts to someone whom I cannot trust." His words were softly stated but bluntly honest. "But I am pleased to see you finally taking things on for yourself, something which you will note I encouraged you to do for years." He sighed and shook his head, "I love you too Valeria. I wish things could be different between us as well. I will consider."

Val sighed and opened the door, "I do too, and yes, I do know that you encouraged me for years, but I'm stubborn, I wonder where I got that from." She smiled, and although it hurt to hear him say he didn't trust her, in all honesty, she didn't know if she could fully trust him either, especially the way he was treating her relationship. "I'll see you later Lord Montague." She smiled and walked out, heading to Emmet's place, she needed to be held.

Oz 's lips curled in a sad smile. "You came by it rightfully I will admit." Her defiance had not only hurt their relationship but his standing as the Head of the family. To be betrayed by someone he considered so close to him had been a deep blow. It did not heal quickly, especially not for Oz. "Good day Valeria." The door closed and he contemplated going to his residence. Deciding that would be pointless since there was nothing there for him, he reached into the cupboard and withdrew a good bottle of bourbon that he had been saving for a special occasion. To get very drunk would be a perfectly terrible beginning to the week.

[loveyourlife28121993]

What's your secret to your long-lasting marriage?

Marriage is a lifetime commitment. People are supposed to marry to procreate, start a family, and cherish their love with their own spouse, children, and grandchildren for the rest of their lives. In other words, marriage is supposed to be built to last.

If there is one good secret to having a lasting marriage, it would be to make oneself ready to enter into this kind of relationship. You should not just marry a person because you have fallen in love and you feel like you already want to spend the rest of your life with her or him.

What if you get married? What happens now? How would you really spend the rest of your life with your chosen wife or husband? It’s natural to fall in love. It’s easy to make a wedding vow. But in order to fulfill your promise, you need to know how you will exactly do that.

Related articles :

Skills for Healthy Romantic Relationships | Joanne Davila

Dating Tips For Women Of All Ages - Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy

To guide you, here are some tips to make your marriage healthy and long-lasting:

1. Be independent from your parents and parents-in-law.

Live in a house which is separate from both of your parents. This will give your marriage the freedom it needs to mature and grow in its own way,

2. Bless your home and your marriage.

Blessings are what you earned by doing the right things and avoiding sins. Therefore, bless your home and your family, not only by praying but also by practicing righteousness and avoiding wickedness.

3. Do not envy other couples or people.

Be grateful for the blessings and graces you receive every day. Always thank your wife or husband for the little or great efforts they make to take care and love you. If you see happy couples or families, be inspired and happy to see them instead of being envious or bitter.

4. Know your marital duties and obligations.

Do not be ignorant of your marital responsibilities. Know that as husband and wife, the both of you are obliged to live together, support each other, be honest with each other, be faithful to each other, do procreation, and take care of your children.

5. Fulfill your marital obligations to each other.

Knowing your marital duties is not enough. Hence, don’t just be reminded but do your best to perform those obligations mentioned above.

6. Surrender your body to your wife or husband.

Let your spouse have the authority over your body, and vice versa. This means if your husband tells you not to wear revealing clothes, follow your husband. And for the husband, if your wife tells you not to touch or be touched by other women, then follow your wife.

7. Love yourself as you love your spouse.

Learn to love yourself. Have a balanced diet, do regular exercise, get enough sleep, avoid vices that get you sick, and always improve your personal development. Remember that you cannot love and take care of your family if you can’t even love and take care of yourself.

8. Be fearless and get rid of your insecurities.

Love your wife or husband without expecting love in return. Love your spouse without fearing that someday she or he will be gone. Enjoy giving pure love. Remember that the love you give will never be lost.

9. Trust your spouse.

Realize that trusting your partner is an essential key to having a long-lasting marriage. Know your spouse better. Listen to her or him. Stop making false assumptions. Unless there is clear evidence that your spouse is deceiving you, always treat her or him as a person who can be trusted.

10. Be trustworthy.

Don’t ask your spouse to give you trust. Work hard, earn, and maintain it. Help your better half trust you easily.

11. Always thank your better half.

Thank your wife or husband for the care and sacrifice she or he is giving you. Let your better half feel that everything she or he does to you, even if they are just simple things, they are valued and appreciated.

12. Have more patience.

Stop complaining when your goals and wishes are not yet achieved. Understand that great things are worth the wait. Be calm and do not be easily angry. When you experience trials and challenges in your relationship, consider them as opportunities to strengthen the love and faithfulness in your marriage.

13. If you get angry, get rid of it before the day ends.

Don’t let the day end with hatred in your heart. Make peace with your wife or husband before the two of you sleep at night.

14. Be healthy and beautiful for your better half.

Continue impressing your spouse. Have good hygiene, maintain your natural beauty, go to the gym, do meditations, and eat a balanced diet to always look stunning for your wife

15. Avoid bad and toxic people.

Choose your friends and companions. Avoid people who will influence you to sin or do extramarital affairs. Stay away from people who will corrupt your good character and ruin your marriage.

16. Be mature and choose your priorities.

Prioritize your spouse, your children, your marriage, and your family over less significant things like your vices, ego

17. Confess your sins and ask for forgiveness.

Stop pointing fingers and placing blame on your spouse. Admit your mistakes and sincerely ask your spouse for her or his forgiveness.

18. Pray to heal and forgive.

Meditate for enlightenment and pray for the healing of your heartaches. Take your time.

19. Practice prudence.

Do not be hasty with your actions and decisions. Think twice and always consider the consequences before you make a move or a choice.

20. Be kind and compassionate.

Feel what your spouse feels. Experience your partner’s pain or joy. Have compassion by understanding the innermost needs of your wife or husband. Give your spouse comfort, embrace, kindness, and even privacy if she or he needs them.

21. Be humble.

Learn how to swallow your pride so that you can practice humility, forgiveness, and gracefulness. Moreover, live a simple and quiet life with your family to avoid problems which are too difficult for you to handle.

22. Live in the present.

Do not dwell on the past but focus on the present moment. Do not let your heartbreaks from the past ruin your current relationship. Do not let your worries about the future stop you from spending quality time with your spouse. Seize the opportunities today to show how much you love your wife or husband.

23. Quit recording your spouse’s past mistakes.

Stop counting and remembering your spouse past wrongs, especially if you have already forgiven them. Quit using them against your partner when you argue just to win the battle.

24. Stop keeping score.

In relation to #23, also quit on counting the good deeds you have done for your marriage just to show how superior you are to your spouse. Remember that marriage is not a competition but a union between you and your partner. Promote teamwork in your relationship, not rivalry.

25. Be selfless.

Create plans, goals, and dreams for your spouse, your children and your whole family rather than just for yourself. Put your own happiness in their happiness.

26. Be loyal.

Never ever cheat. Don’t ever think that you will get another chance once you’ve done cheating, infidelity, and other extramarital affairs. Keep your marriage vows in your heart, mind, and soul.

27. Never stop loving.

Don’t stop caring for your spouse even if the two of you are arguing or fighting. Continue to love your wife or husband even if the two of you are quarreling and considering each other as enemies.

28. Don’t lose hope.

Fight with all your might and don’t give up easily when your marriage is tested. Understand that it’s normal for married couples to encounter problems that will test their love. If things are getting too difficult, get a support system. Gain spiritual strength from God and get support from your family and friends.

29. Have faith.

Do something to realize the things you hope for. Understand that having faith is not just believing but also doing something to make what you believe in happen. In other words, have faith with deeds. If you’re faithful to your spouse, don’t just hope or believe that your marriage will last but do your best to keep yourself away from temptations.

30. Give only true love.

There is no secret to a long-lasting marriage but genuine love. Hence, learn and identify what true love is. Evaluate yourself if you’re really giving real love to your spouse. If not, work for it. Remember that true love is not given magically to your wife or husband, but it is something that you need to work hard for. It requires your patience, perseverance, humility, honesty, and more.

31. Discipline your children.

Don’t just be a better spouse to your wife or husband, but also be a better parent to your children. To make your marriage last, make your family happy and successful too. Teach your children how to become good and responsible people so that they will not be your family’s problem in the future.

32. Let love be the center of your marriage.

Know that true love binds all the good virtues that will help you and your spouse have a happy and long-lasting marriage. It unites your patience, kindness, compassion, humility, truthfulness, and faithfulness in perfect harmony to make your relationship last. Hence, always let love be the center of your marriage, not money and other material things.

Furthermore, if you believe in God, know that God is pure love. Therefore, let God, who is pure love, be always the center of your marriage.

Related articles

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BEST DATING ADVICE EVER - Stop Wasting Your Time!

 Final thoughts

Understand that marriage is teamwork. That is why the both of you are called better halves. To have a long-lasting marriage, both of you should strive to follow the tips above. It won’t work if only one is working it out. But if your partner is struggling to be a better spouse, remember not to judge her or him quickly or force your better half to change instantly. Instead, be a role model and show your beloved spouse how to practice the ways above.

Remember no marriage is perfect .Every couple is different and what worked for your grandparents or your bff and her husband may be the complete opposite of what helps you and your significant others but don't forget about your love languages .

[heuschkelkei]

Early Ejaculation Cause Pregnancy Mind Blowing Unique Ideas

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[new-storylines]

Mother! (or dealing with eco-guilt)

In this article, I’ll talk about this song, which is about killing our mom, the Earth. You can read the lyrics in the comments on YouTube.

Why we don’t do shit to save our asses on this planet

The climate crisis... We have the data, we have the terrible disasters happening around the world, we have the experts’ reports and previsions... Millions of climate migrants (I never understood why xenophobic people aren’t the biggest environmentalists ever), water insecurity (we have plenty of water on Earth, but only 1% is accessible freshwater), food insecurity, natural disasters, diseases and, of course, the high risk of social and political unrest due to these difficult conditions... You’d think we’d be working our asses off to mitigate this mess.

Sadly, those facts compete against other, older beliefs, like the one in infinite growth.

This contradiction creates a tension called cognitive dissonance, which is very uncomfortable. Now, our brains are prepared for such events and have tons of cognitive biases to help us feel comfortable again. Problem is, in the case of the environment, choosing immediate comfort is actually what is putting us in great danger. So we keep doing our thing, while knowing deep down that we shouldn’t, even subconsciously. And that’s very fertile ground for guilt. Or in this specific case, “eco-guilt”.

Why it’s okay to feel bad about it

It hurts to know that when I don’t buy organic (and even when I do buy organic, depending on the certification), I give money to corporations that poison the soil and water. It hurts to know that when I buy cheese, I’m basically paying people to contaminate the air and, again, water (and I won’t even mention animal abuse). The list goes on and on... My only consolation is that I never wanted to procreate. Yay! But still... each time I wash my polyester clothes, tons of microplastic end up in the (drinking) water. I live in a system that’s so ill-conceived that virtually everything I own and do adds to contamination, biodiversity loss, ocean acidification, etc.

A lot of people in the media keep saying that eco-activist groups are too radical and sad because they want us to feel guilty. Personally, I don’t need anyone to tell me what to feel in order to understand that my Western lifestyle contributes to a huge catastrophe, and to feel really bad about it and for not knowing how to make the world better right now. I think it’s only fair to feel bad for having such horrendous impacts on other lives. I also think guilt is a helpful feeling as it shows us we’re doing something wrong. And I strongly believe that anyone who says otherwise must have fierce defense mechanisms and badass cognitive biases.

The good thing, when you learn about these biases, is that they kind of weaken and you get to be more aware of your own feelings and the actual facts regarding the world you live in.

How it can be useful

The bad thing is... it can make you cry. I say it’s a bad thing, but I don’t believe it is. I wrote this song while crying in the shower because I was feeling very sad about contributing to the horrible current and future suffering. And I think that putting out in the world a song that honest on this topic is a nice thing. So you see, crying is not that bad. ;) Maybe we shouldn’t be afraid of emotions like guilt, sadness or fear itself... Maybe we should feel them and see where they want to take us. Maybe that would help us build more sustainable and fair systems, and a more interesting storyline for us as individuals and as a whole. :)

I’ll leave you with a few “fun” facts about the song:

I wrote it as a sad ballad and it turned out to be this totally different, upbeat genre. I like to see this as a metaphor of how you can recycle your dark feelings into something lively (environmental pun, get it...?).

When I was recording it, months after my sad shower, I realized it had something major in common with a movie I love: mother! by Darren Aronofsky. Both my song and his movie are about killing a mother that represents the Earth. That’s why I decided to name it “Mother!” as a tribute. If you’ve never watched this movie, I highly recommend it.

I use this song with my #Motherkiller story highlight on Instagram to show that living in a perfectly ecofriendly way isn’t always easy and that I mess up a lot.

Have you ever felt negative feelings while thinking about the impact of your lifestyle? Do you think it’s unfair to put the blame on ourselves? I’d like to know what you think, if you want to share it with me in the comments! :)