#probably would taste bomb with some fruit juice

[kaibaswifey-old]

who wants to talk to me rn and by talk to me i mean listen to me complain about shit, but you don't say anything to me. you DEFINITELY don't show sadness or sympathy. maybe send some nice emojis. that's it. just listen, stfu and 🥳👽 🌈

[restorativemeal]

Menu Twelve

Menu Twelve from Bishop and Carruthers' "The Vegetarian Adventure Cookbook"

Mediterranean Moussaka: brown lentils, water, eggplant, salt, oil, potatoes, tomato paste, tinned tomatoes with juice, chilli sauce, worcester sauce, ground allspice, nutmeg, marmite, stock, pepper, butter, flour, milk, eggs, cheddar cheese.

Green Salad with Yoghurt Dressing:  iceberg lettuce, plain yoghurt, cloves, cider vinegar, salt, pepper, honey.

Tomato Tabouleh Cups: bulghur wheat, parsley, basil, onion, lemon juice, oil, salt, pepper, tomato. 

Week Twelve, the middle of November, and the twelfth Menu of Bishop and Carruthers’ “Vegetarian Adventure Cookbook”. I’d woken up after a two week stressed out haze as a phoenix on a pile of ashes. There were ingredients for Menu Fours dessert still in the fruit bowl because I hadn’t felt inspired on my birthday week to make my first dessert of the cookbook. Despite any ill-feelings I had about anything at all I was quietly positive about the fact Menu Twelve marked three months. Three months, twelve weeks, twelve dinners, and again I think about a similar number of powerful changes I’m not making because I’m too busy thinking about myself. When an influencer is twelve weeks pregnant they post on their Instagram to announce the upcoming change in their lifestyle. 

Produce and a flea-bombed mint, later substituted for basil.

I was working late at work for the third week in a row. My energy levels had depleted. I once again didn’t do my grocery shopping on Monday. Two times is a coincidence but it’s likely that this is a visceral change in the process of the weekly menus I hadn’t seen coming. Unfortunately even when things happen a third time they don’t usually become a pattern. It’s quite likely that at some point in the next 28 weeks I will do the grocery shop on a Monday. On Tuesday I went to the Bulk Store looking for the bulghur wheat, I had half an hour but I also needed to go to the bakery to buy a spinach pesto wrap and then drive home and collect a jumper because it was cold and I hadn’t worn enough layers. I had clocked the boy with the buzzcut again when I walked into the Bulk Store but I realised he probably had nothing to do with the love charm my colleague had given me. I said thank you and no to a receipt and then “seeya” as I exited the store with my bulghur wheat. 

Bulghur turned Tabouleh

I felt calm on Wednesday because I already knew I only had three guests and I was happy to spend a Wednesday evening with them. I chopped the eggplant and peeled and chopped the potato for the moussaka. Reading the recipe then I realised the bulghur wheat wasn’t to be cooked but instead soaked for half an hour and then marinated in the fridge for a further hour. It all went smoothly as I cooked, completely sober. When I made the moussaka, I thought only of how much I hated lentil moussaka when I was younger. Hate speech on a piece of paper sent to my parents under the living room door was a form of protest. When I blended the lentils into a tomato mixture I thought about how this would have been a simple way of parenting. It was quiet at the dinner table, a comfortable dinner. They liked the moussaka, even my most picky guest. The Tomato Tabouleh Cups shone from their place on the plates. I felt more like a chef than a writer this week, though in the previous weeks I felt more like a waitress than either of those things.  

A twelfth dinner served in fine company.

A violent change occurred on the last day of the working week and I felt slighted that this change had happened outside of the cookbook. Later, I had a run in with poor intuition and figured out I didn’t have that much of it. I baked the dessert from Menu Four before at my parent’s house in a nice kitchen. I ate a piece with my dad, then drove home with it on the passenger seat of my car, the two of us listening to Lana Del Rey. When my niece tasted the tart later on she spat it out immediately, her first taste of the “Vegetarian Adventure Cookbook” was similar to my own. That night I deleted my favourite games off my phone in a tizzy and when I woke on Sunday morning I realised without the photos on my phone it wouldn’t be that easy to set them up again. 

Menu Four reprise

[heich0e]

JUST A TASTE - part one: salt miya atsumu/bartender!reader (haikyuu!) ao3 link word count: 3.3k tags: see series masterlist for more tags, enemies to customer service providers, f!reader, frequent mentions of alcohol a/n: this series is heavily informed by my understanding of western bar culture/mixology, so... suspension of disbelief, poetic license, forgive my ignorance, etc. my apologies + pls read at your own risk if that might bother you!

salty dog: 1.5oz gin or vodka, 4oz grapefruit juice, kosher salt, ice, grapefruit slice (optional for garnish). pour kosher salt onto a plate. rub grapefruit slice around the rim (or wet with tips of fingers and grapefruit juice) and dip the glass into the salt. reserve the grapefruit for serving if using. fill glass with ice. add vodka or gin, then top with grapefruit juice. stir gently to combine and garnish with the reserved grapefruit slice.

The most popular cocktail in the first bar you ever worked at was the Long Island iced tea.

You never knew why it was called a Long Island iced tea. The drink wasn't made with tea. You weren't even sure it came from Long Island—though the concoction undeniably stemmed from the excess of the west.

The cocktail's recipe was as complicated as the ambiguous etymology of its name: equal parts vodka, tequila, gin, rum, and triple sec; one and a half parts sour mix; all topped with a splash of coke to give it its familiar amber hue.

Like tea, maybe. If you'd never seen tea before.

The drink was stupid and convoluted, but they could get you fucked up pretty fast and didn't cost too much—which made it a fan-favourite among the broke students that crammed into the bar near your university campus every night of the week. Fridays they were even two for one, and the highest tally of Long Islands you'd ever made in a single night working the closing shift was three hundred and seventeen. It was on a Friday just after midterm week, and you’d almost thrown the last one right at the poor girl who’d ordered it at last call because you were so sick of mixing them.

Needless to say you were happy when you graduated and got a job at a nicer bar further in Osaka's city centre.

It was only supposed to be a temporary gig; just something to keep your lights on while you hunted for a job in your field. But all too quickly the career prospects that had seemed so promising with your diploma fresh in your hand quickly dried up, and so the drinks kept flowing.

The second bar was fancier than the one you’d worked at through college—the kind that named drinks after famous dead people and used coasters. It was frequented most often by young working professionals only slightly older (if at all) than yourself—dressed in suits and loosened ties, shirts unbuttoned at the collar, as they stopped by for a drink on their way home from the office or with a date on a Saturday night who they’d probably swiped right on on some app. You didn’t really mind working there all that much—the tips were more consistent, the spirits better quality, and you didn’t have to deal with obnoxious college boys slurring unsolicited advances at you over the counter while you poured them their fourth sake bomb of the night and resisted the urge to spit in it.

The most popular drink at this bar was a classic kamikaze, branded with a different name to justify the unnecessarily costly price attached to it. The recipe was a classic: equal parts lime juice, vodka, and triple sec; garnished with a slice of lime.

When you would leave the bar at the end of a shift, shuffling lethargically down the road to the humble apartment which you shared with two friends from college, you could still smell the sharp, astringent aroma of the green citrus fruit clinging to the tips of your fingers because of how many limes you'd used as garnish that night.

It was at that second bar that you learned to really enjoy bartending. It was easier to do in that place, when you weren’t focusing on quantity over quality; over making sure the senpai on the other side of the bar wasn’t getting too handsy with the junior girl you’d served one too many lemon sours that evening; over ensuring that someone didn’t steal the framed painting of Jumbo Ozaki off the wall (for the third time that month.) 

You found that, over time, the half-assed google searches and scanning job postings at the back of the Saturday newspaper stopped entirely; the books on your nightstand turned from a stack about finding your calling and nailing interviews to titles on mixology and spirits.

You got better at bartending too. You weren’t just fast and efficient (the only good thing that ever came out of that college bar job) but you had a good memory when it came to drinks—quickly becoming a walking encyclopaedia of not just recipes, but facts about spirits, wine, and beer that you used to charm customers into ordering the top shelf offerings, which translated into fatter tips left for you and your impressive wealth of trivia at the end of the night.

And then one day, an opportunity fell in your lap.

“I got a job at that new bar across town—you know the one on the top floor of that crazy high rise?” 

You looked up over the steaming bowl of ramen that was commanding the majority of your attention, your chopsticks pausing halfway to your open mouth.

Your coworker and friend, Shoji, peered back at you from the other side of the table after he said his piece. You should of known when he offered to take you out for lunch ahead of your shift that evening he’d had ulterior motives. 

“Ah,” you said, popping your food into your mouth and then speaking as you chewed. “Dees ah’ guilt noodows.”

“They are not guilt noodles, thank you.” Shoji laughed, slumping back in his chair as he watched you chew. He seemed to be contemplating something.

Shoji Taiyou was a few years older than you—closer to 35 than he was to your 25—and had been in the bar industry for twice as long as you had. He was still youthful in spite of it, with tattoos on his arm, a buzzed head, and a piercing in his eyebrow—and you rarely noticed the gap in ages between you. Above all else he was a good coworker. Reliable. The two of you had become fast friends when you’d started working at the second bar that took you on just after graduation.

You swallowed your mouthful of food.

“That place is fucking swanky—why the hell did they hire you?” you asked, but the comment had no grounds and you both knew it. He was as good of a bartender as they came, and had taught you a lot in the few years that you’d been working together. 

You’d miss him.

“My old friend from college is the manager,” Shoji said, reaching for his own chopsticks and picking out a piece of pork from his bowl. “He’s been trying to convince me to come on board for the past couple of months,” he explained, leaning on his elbow as he watched you fish out a shiitake from your own bowl of broth. “He came in last week to talk to me about it again—remember him?” 

You vaguely recalled the man, though you forgot his name. He was wearing a suit and had smiled a lot, showing off his unnaturally white teeth. He’d been pleasant enough. 

“He liked you,” Shoji said. “A lot.”

“I’m not interested in getting set up with your buddy even if he does run the fanciest bar in Osaka,” you said with a roll of your eyes, pointing your chopsticks at him warningly.

“He’s married,” Taiyou laughed. “And he doesn’t want to date you, he wants to hire you.”

You paused.

“Me?” 

Shoji had twice the wealth of experience you did, so it made sense he’d get scouted by another bar. But you? You were just a college grad who bartended because apparently art history majors were not, in fact, in such a high demand at the moment. 

“He said you made him one of the best cocktails he’s had in a long time.”

“I'm pretty sure he only ordered a highball...”

“Just think about it, will ya? He liked you, and I vouched for your skills,” Shoji said with a long-suffering sigh at your recalcitrance, letting his hand hit the table with a determined thud. The broth in your bowl rippled at the impact. “I’m putting in my two weeks today, so that gives you fourteen days to make up your mind as to whether or not you’re coming with me.”

And you did think about it.

A lot.

You thought about it while you worked that night—shaking a Martini over your shoulder for one of your regulars: a middle aged woman who was meeting with her lawyer as they discussed the third divorce she’d gone through since you started working at the bar. 

You thought about it while you shopped for groceries after your closing shift on the eighth day at the 24 hour grocery store by your apartment, choosing between vegetables and ice cream because your budget didn't allow for both. (You chose the ice cream.)

You thought about it while you vacuumed your apartment on the thirteenth day, tripping over the cord of the appliance with a face mask smeared thick across your t-zone that promised to help improve the brightness of your skin. It had been dull as of late, and you chalked it up to too much thinking.

You handed in your notice the next morning.

It hardly feels right to call the third bar you find yourself employed at a simple bar at all when it's so much more than that. 

It has stunning views of the city skyline from the top floor of a newly constructed high-rise. There’s polished glass, black marble, and a profusion of other modern finishes decorating the space in a tasteful, luxurious way that never feels too heavy-handed. But your favourite part of the modern, sumptuous bar has to be the atmospheric lighting that casts the entire space in a dim, ethereal glow without ever diminishing the view. 

Going to work every day still feels like a dream.

And it’s here that you really get to shine. 

The liquors behind the bar are expensive and imported. There are bottles of wine on the wine list that cost more than a month’s rent at your old apartment—which you’ve since given up in favour of a one bedroom closer to your new place of work, that you can afford now on your own thanks to the substantial pay increase you’d gotten when you’d accepted the new position.

The job comes with more responsibility, commensurate to the pay-raise, to be sure—you help to curate drink menus, source new and exciting additions to the spirit shelves and wine list, deal with any issues with distributors that crop up along the way. But you get to mix drinks, ones you come up with yourself, and it’s given you the space you need to thrive.

The clientele of the new bar is elite; politicians, actors, and athletes flock to the space in droves. They're the kind of people who don’t bat an eye at the hefty bills that land in their hands at the end of night, or think twice about how many zeroes they scribble on to the tip at the bottom of their receipt to be split between you and the waitstaff.

All in all, you find the patrons at the downtown bar to be mostly tolerable.

Except for one.

Miya Atsumu: professional volleyball player for the MSBY Black Jackals, part-time heartthrob, and full-time pain in your ass.

He shows up every Friday night with a date—a standing reservation in his name.

He always orders two cocktails.

Never the same one twice.

The women nor the drinks.

It had started a few weeks after you’d begun your new job: a busy Friday evening, as always, and the most popular drink that night seemed to be the cocktail that you and head bartender Shoji had come up with—a slightly more modern take on a classic whiskey sour.

You were in the process of making three more of the evening’s special when a head of peroxide blonde hair suddenly popped into your line of sight. You looked up, meeting a pair of suspiciously soft brown eyes peering at you from the other side of the sparkling bartop.

“Hello,” you greeted the man politely, wiping your damp hands on the apron tied around your waist, condensation from the shaker you’d just been holding clinging to your fingertips. “Can I help you?”

Your eyes flickered down to the man’s hands as he set them on the counter and leaned towards you—long, inarguably elegant fingers wrapped around two cocktails identical to the ones you’d just been preparing. One was mostly drained while the other barely touched, though you could spot the soft ring of a lipstick mark along the edge of the polished glass.

“I was wonderin’ if ya might be able to do me a huge favour,” the man asked, voice teeming with what you were sure was meant to be charm but immediately set your teeth on edge. You couldn’t help but have a sudden, visceral flashback to the college boys who would leer at you over the counter in your first bar, and you found yourself taking a half step back from him without thinking.

His eyes flashed with a quiet confusion at your unsubtle retreat, but he didn’t seem to let it stop him.

“Ya see, my date and I both ordered this cocktail—but she really hates whiskey.”

“It’s a whiskey sour,” you replied, forcing yourself to keep your tone professional though it still came out a little flat. Why someone who hates whiskey would order a drink that was made of it perplexed you—but it happened far more often than you cared to linger on in your line of work.

“I know—and I happen to think it’s delicious—I thought she’d like it too but she says she absolutely can’t drink it.”

“Alright, I’d be happy to make you something else,” you said, tone slightly clipped but still accommodating. “What can I get for you?”

“Well, what would you recommend?” he asked, his blonde head tilting curiously to the side.

Your eyes dropped down to the three almost completed cocktails in front of you, which you’d already allowed to rest for too long thanks to the unexpected distraction. You set about completing them while you spoke with the man. 

“Well, she doesn’t like whiskey. What spirit does she like?” You finished garnishing the cocktails, waving over the server who had been waiting for them at the edge of the bar to hand them off.

“Uh, dunno…” The man scratched absentmindedly behind his ear.

You blinked at him blankly, biting back a scoff.

“Alright, well does she like sweet things?” you tried again.

The man pursed his full lips. “Not sure about that either.”

“Is there anything you know about this woman?” The biting comment slipped out before you had the presence of mind to stopper it behind your teeth—and you momentarily panicked, wondering if he was going to take offence.

He merely grinned at you wolfishly.

“I know she's a swimsuit model.”

You very nearly sneered.

You curled your hands into fists out of sight below the bar, counting to five in your mind to calm the rage you felt building in your gut.

“Okay,” you said, turning away and grabbing some ingredients off the wall behind you.

It wasn’t anything particularly complicated—a slightly modified take on an Aperol spritz. The man watched you while you worked, mixing up the two cocktails with a measured hand, offering a few facts about the beverage along the way as you were accustomed to doing.

You finished the drink off with a bit of briney salt spray over the surface of the bubbling beverage, the champagne still fizzing from having only just been poured over the ice.

“What’s that?” the man asked, watching you mist the drinks.

“Saline solution,” you explained, running a clean cloth over the edge of the glass to clean up a little drop that had spilled over the lip. “It’s salty—like the sea. People say it reminds them of the beach.”

“Perfect fer a swimsuit model.” The man nodded approvingly, flashing you a winning smile.

“Sure,” you agreed half-heartedly, handing the drinks to the evening’s most annoying customer over the counter.

“I’ll be sure to let ya know what she thinks!” 

You bit back the comment sitting on the tip of your tongue telling him not to bother—catching yourself that second time before saying something you’d regret.

You didn’t need him to come and tell you his date enjoyed her drink—even though he did make a point of doing so on his way out, his cheeks flushed a little pinker and hair a little more dishevelled than it had been when he first approached the bar that evening. The three more rounds of the same cocktail that had been ordered for his table (and the hefty tip he’d left, with specific instructions that it was to go directly to you) really told you everything you needed to know.

It became a routine after that.

Miya comes in on a Friday night, some exorbitantly beautiful woman on his arm, and he’s quickly seated at whatever table the front of house staff has ready and waiting for him. 

Moments after that, he rises to approach you at the bar. 

He’ll offer you some minute detail about his date (though occasionally it is mercifully pertinent to their drink preferences—like a spirit they enjoy or a flavour they’re partial to) and you’re left to come up with a cocktail that will appeal to them.

“So, what’s the story with this one?” he asks one evening, a few months into the little ritual that has settled between you, leaning over the counter as you whip up a drink for his lady of the week. His hints that night were: daughter of a mogul, refined tastes, wants to get messed up.

“Comes from France. They say the queen devised the recipe herself—all the bubble of champagne but twice the punch. Ladies weren’t allowed to drink hard liquor without it being seen as unbecoming, so this was a way they could get away with it and still have a good time.” You strain the slightly green tinted drink into the waiting champagne flutes below the shaker, watching as the frothy liquid pools in the basin of the glass.

“Nice.” The man nods in approval as you top both drinks off with a float from a freshly popped bottle of champagne. The colour of the drink softens even further with the addition of the effervescent wine, and in the dim light of the bar you can hardly even tell it isn’t pure champagne. 

“Two imperials for your prim and proper date.” You slide the drinks over to his waiting hands.

“She won’t be proper fer long." Atsumu winks at you over the counter and you wrinkle your nose in distaste.

Your interactions with the regular customer have also shifted in the weeks since he’d started bothering you with his patronage—far less professional than the tone you’d tried (poorly) to maintain on his first few visits to the bar. 

“Revolting,” you mutter.

“Thanks again! I’ll let you know how this one goes.”

“Just leave me a nice tip,” you say dismissively, wiping down the bartop with a clean cloth to prepare for the next drink orders waiting to be filled.

“I always do,” the man chirps back, flashing you the same grin he always does—charming, self-assured, and utterly carefree—as he steps away towards his waiting date once more.

But he’s right: for all of Atsumu’s shenanigans, he always leaves you a very generous tip at the end of the night. He always ensures to stop by on his way out—one arm wrapped around the waist of whatever absurdly good looking woman he’s conned into going out with him that week—to tell you that they loved their drinks and to slide a neatly folded stack of bills towards you across the counter.

He’s annoying, but he’s single-handedly financing your habit of buying the really good ice cream on your weekly grocery trip, so you don’t complain much. 

You watch as Atsumu crosses the length of the room to return to his table—this week he’s been seated at one not far from the bar, which affords you the perfect view of him sliding into his seat and handing one of the two drinks you’d just carefully prepared to the woman waiting for him.

She takes a sip and smiles, and you watch as Atsumu reaches out to brush a piece of hair behind her ear, his touch lingering just a moment longer than is necessary.

You look away with a roll of your eyes, setting to work on the numerous orders that have come in since you’d been busy preparing his drinks.

Good tipper or not, he really is completely shameless.

[lazyevaluationranch]

On a post about the Blue Haired Girlfriend's quixotic citrus breeding experiments, @voidingintotheshout​ asked:

I mean, if you wanted a hearty citrus relative, why didn’t you just grow Osage Orange? They can grow as far north as Michigan which is surely further north than anyone could reasonably expect to grow a citrus tree. They’re not edible but then hearty orange isn’t either. Osage Orange are so cool and such a interesting historical plant from the Shelterbelt era of American agriculture. Apparently they do smell like citrus.

This is part three of three. Part one. Part two.

Now you've done it! It's time for A Very Brief (But Also Insufficiently Brief) History of Twentieth Century Hardy Citrus Cultivation! Growing citrus trees this far north is kind of nuts, it's true, but I promise you it is not even close to the weirdest things people have done to grow citrus in places where the citrus doesn't think it should grow.

A note: This post will written using the Swingle citrus taxonomy system, including things that are definitely wrong. The citrus taxonomic tree looks like that one box of orphaned computer cords I keep moving with me to new houses "in case I need them" except some sort of adorable five-dimensional kitten has entertained herself with them and some of the resulting knots are not technically possible in our space-time continuum. 

The powers that be gave us citrus because nothing pleases them like seeing a geneticist cry.

1. The Migrant Trees

The Soviet Union wanted lemons for tea, and they wanted to be independent enough not to have to trade with anyone else to get them, which meant they wanted to grow their own citrus. That part of the world is not a great place to grow plants that die when the temperature goes below zero, but at the foundation of the Soviet Union, there were citrus orchards in the warmest part of Georgia, along the Black Sea. Specifically, there was about, uh, one and a half square kilometers of somewhat implausible citrus orchard.

Hang on, it is about to get way less plausible.

This is the great citrus migration: any tree that did well in one spot, they'd try planting its seeds a few kilometres further north, or a few kilometres further east. Prizes were offered for breeding hardier citrus. Slowly the orchards spread, but they were extremely weird orchards.

It's usually a few degrees warmer at ground level than up in the air, and there's way less wind. So as the trees grew, they were bent over and tied along the ground. Some of them had the central trunk run in a straight line along the ground, with branches spreading out from it like the leaves of a fern, like an espaliered tree on its side. Others were starfish shaped, with the central trunk looped down until it ended up next to the base, and the branches sprawling out along the ground from the centre like starfish legs. The citrus trees were no taller than particularly vigorous strawberry plants, but they survived the winters, and you could throw a blanket over them to help them stay warm.

None of that helped if the ground froze solid, so they needed Underground Citrus. You'd dig a ditch, down below the lowest area where the ground froze, and you'd plant flat Starfish Trees or Flat Frond Trees running along the bottom of it, too deep to freeze. In winter, you'd just cover the ditch with boards any time the temperature was expected to go below freezing - citrus would tolerate the lack of light, but not the cold. Mandarins (Citrus reticulata) seemed to do best, so that’s most of what was grown.

It is a nearly unimaginable amount of work to grow citrus this way, along the bottoms of pits and trenches. We are experimentally trying to grow a Soviet-developed mandarin breed of unknown parentage, Shirokolistvennyi, but we will definitely not be putting in that level of effort.

2. The Mixed Up Trees

There are a couple species of citrus that tolerate cold well, but taste awful. A lot of effort has gone into crossbreeding them with more edible citrus. The results are ... mixed.

The Ichang Papeda (Citrus cavaleriei) generally survives temperatures down to -18 degrees C. It is stoic and calm and has mastered emptiness. Unfortunately, it has mastered emptiness too well. The fruit smells like lemons, with maybe a hint of rose, but there's nothing to eat here. It has a rind and seeds. No juice, no flesh.

(Photo by Michael Saalfield)

The Ichang Papeda is the parent or grandparent to several delicious, extremely sour Asian citrus types. Yuzu/yuja smells like grapefruit and clean wet stones from the bottom of a fast-flowing stream. Sudachi smells like grapefruit and leaves with dew on them. (I haven't met kabosu or any other papeda hybrids personally, but they are numerous.)  They're all too sour to eat plain, unless you really need to turn your face inside out for some reason, but make for excellent flavouring. 

(We have a yuzu tree and a sudachi tree and they're surviving, but no fruit yet.)

Trifoliate orange (Poncirus trifoliata) can survive temperatures down to -30 degrees C. This may be partly because, uniquely amoung citrus, they can drop leaves in autumn or winter and regrow them in spring, like a maple tree. They also produce an internal antifreeze. They are angry, twisted, thorny little plants that yell swears when you walk past them. They make a great hedge. The fruit is furry, smells like flowers and pine trees and taste like burnt, bitter plastic. It may or may not be possible to breed the horrible taste completely out of trifoliate oranges without losing cold-hardiness, if it's due to their antifreeze chemicals. Here’s Stabby:

(Photo by Rob Hille)

Even the least terrible trifoliate crossbreeds are bitter enough to qualify as “acquired tastes.” There are recipes for trifoliate marmalade: put a dozen trifoliate oranges, a kilogram of sugar, and a kilogram of pebbles in a pot, cook until it gels, then sieve out the oranges and eat the pebbles. 

We are growing a trifoliate orange / minneola orange hybrid. And, of course, someday our own trifoliate hybrids. The Blue Haired Girlfriend planted 200 trifoliate oranges a couple years ago. There are fewer now, but the survivors have lived through two winters of snow and frost, and they might have somehow gotten more stabby. We're going to breed them, to each other or to less angry fruit, try and make something new and good from them.

I've limited this post to twentieth century hardy citrus breeding, but I have to give a shoutout to somatic hybridization, a decidedly twenty first century technique, where you take a cell from each of two different plants, remove their cell walls, put them next to eachother, and shock them with electricity until they merge into a single cell whose nucleus contains all genes from both plants. Then the new plant is like, "Wow, I guess these are all my genes? It seems like a lot, haha, but it's not like somebody made me from dismembered body parts and electricity, that is not how science works. Anyway I guess it's time to do some plant stuff now."

3. The Mutant Trees

In the 1950s, people started using radiation to randomly scramble the genes of plants. You'd irradiate seeds enough to change the genes somehow, and then you'd have to plant them to see what had happened. Maybe it was people horrified by the atomic bomb desperately wanting to find some life-supporting use for atomic fission, maybe it was government-supported cold war "atom bombs are good actually, look how many we have, USSR" propaganda. Probably both. 

This time period also saw serious plans for Orion, a spaceship with a huge metal plate for a butt, intended to be propelled by exploding atomic bombs under it, which I am not actually making up.

Thousands of people in Europe and the US signed up to receive seeds with random mutations in the mail, plant them, and report back on what they heck they grew into and if it had any useful weirdness. (The gamma radiation used to mutate the seeds did not make them radioactive themselves - the seeds were completely safe.) There were also more formal and carefully controlled university research programs in China, Japan, and the US, where plants where grown in a circular research garden with a coverable radiation source at the centre, so that the farther you got from the centre, the less radiation the plants got. Radiation breeding is less popular than it used to be, but Japan still has a very productive citrus radiation breeding program.

The most popular radiation-bred citrus is the "Rio Red" grapefruit and its offspring, which has a much deeper red than non-mutant red grapefruit.

There aren't many radiation-developed citrus breeds noted for cold-hardiness - with radiation you get whatever you get  - but there are a few, and I want one just because I think they're neat, a monument to that lovely human vision that looks at terrible weapons and somehow sees glossy-leaved trees with bright fruit.

4. The Monster Trees

Citrus are usually grown via grafting. That is, you plant a seed from a fast-growing sturdy breed, you let it grow roots and all that, and then you cut the top off and replace it with a branch from a more delicious breed. The two citruses grow together, and you end up with a tree that's disease and cold resistant in the roots, below the graft, but makes tasty fruit above the graft.

Occasionally, this process goes Wrong. 

The first recorded instance is the tree called Bizarria, discovered in 1640. Someone attempted to graft a sour orange branch onto a citron. But instead of a clean line between sour orange branches and citron roots, the graft was damaged somehow, and the two different species of cells got tangled and mixed through the whole tree. It has branches that produce citron fruit. It has branches that produce sour orange fruit. And it has branches that produce, uh ... these:

(Photo by Labrina)

Most graft chimeras are made accidentally, when the graft site is damaged. Trifoliate orange is often used as rootstock, so there are many reported chimeras involving trifoliate orange and a nicer fruit. The mixed-up cells can be arranged a lot of ways, but it's possible to have the outside layer of the tree be trifoliate orange, and the core of the tree be the other citrus (periclinal chimera). This means you could theoretically get a tree with frostproof trifoliate leaves and branches, but fruit that doesn’t taste like burnt plastic rolled in quinine.

This lucky monstrosity has, in fact, reportedly happened. Twice. There is the Prague Citsuma, discovered in a greenhouse in Prague and suspected to have been created by a Soviet breeding program. And then there is the Hormish, discovered in China and thought to have been made by frostbite messing up the clean lines of the graft. The Blue Haired Girlfriend has managed to track down budwood from the Prague Citsuma - I’m so excited! - so we'll see how the fierce thorny monster tree with a heart of gold, or at least heartwood of gold, does for us.

5. Conclusion

Humans have been trying to grow citrus trees where they don't belong for nearly two thousand years, at least since the Jewish Diaspora and people trying to grow holy etrog trees - trunks gnarled as barnacle stones and the whole tree scented like the best dream you can't remember - in Europe. Maybe longer.

The Blue Haired Girlfriend's citrus-breeding schemes aren't going to singlehandedly transform Canada into a net citrus exporter. But history shows us: it might be possible to have a little gleaming sweetness from the stony ground here, with the ravens and the fir trees and the auroras. A sweetness we made ourselves, that exists nowhere else. 

Or maybe we'll just have a bunch of weird inedible fruit. I don't know, but it's worth finding out, worth weaving together leaf and thorn and stone and the light of our hands as the years unwind. Worth it to have a quixotic project we can expect to spend decades on together, hands and hearts. This is how home is made, sometimes, with a balcony full of angry thorny little trees that shout swears at passerby.

[angelz-dust]

heatwave (jason todd x gender neutral!reader)

summary: extreme heat leads to a little accident with your popsicle and jason finds a way to rectify the problem.

warnings: 18+ content (minors dni) - smut, unprotected sex (no condom, no pulling out - pls wrap it up y’all), shower sex, mild food play (popsicle), mild choking. 

minors/ageless blogs who interact will be blocked - read rules before interacting

the sun shone through the window of your bedroom, the rays of light dancing against your sweaty skin as the wind from your fan made the blinds shake. you laid out on your bed, which had been stripped of its comforter, in only your underwear. you were about ready to peel those off of yourself, too. you weakly grabbed at your phone, checking the weather. 77 degrees.

77 degrees, your ass. it felt like 90. 

as much as you enjoyed reaping the consequences of a depleting ozone layer, you felt like it was time to do something to control the temperature in your apartment. you weren't sure how much longer you'd be able to handle breathing in air that felt thick enough to chew. slowly, you sat up, having to peel your sheet off of your sweaty back. you were going to have to do the laundry at some point because going back to sleep in drenched sheets was just as disgusting as it sounded. that was a problem for 3pm you, though. 11am you needed water. desperately.

waddling your way to the kitchen, you opened the refrigerator door and you let out a loud moan of satisfaction. the bright white lights invited you inside its cold confines and you could've swore you saw a dead relative or two beckoning you in. you didn't want to leave the door open for too long, so you quickly grabbed the last water bottle and shut it. you wasted no time swallowing down the cold liquid, ignoring how it made your teeth hurt and froze your throat. you didn't even care that some of it had spilled down the front of your body, down your chest and to the band of your underwear. you welcomed the cold droplets onto your burning hot skin. 

“fuuuuuuck,” you breathed out, your body going limp as it pressed itself against the metal refrigerator door. you could feel your perspiration creating a suction between it and your skin. it was fine, though. you had no intention of moving anyway.

had it not been for your brain taking a few minutes to power itself off, you would've heard the familiar jingle of keys unlocking the front door and you would've turned to see jason coming in with the desserts you requested. 

“what the hell are you doing?” you heard him say and you slightly turned towards him, a dazed look on your face. he was already stripping out of his clothes before he even asked.

“dying,” you responded, opening the freezer for him as he threw in some ice cream and multiple boxes of popsicles.

jason put his hand on your clammy shoulder, slowly ripping you off of the fridge. he turned you towards him, holding some contraption in his hand, which appeared to be a cross between a spray bottle and a fan. without saying anything, he turned it on and began spraying you down like a misbehaving cat, only you didn't flinch. no, you relished in the feeling of the mist on your face.

“here. i got one for myself, too,” he said, handing you the fan. you smiled happily as you started spraying and fanning yourself all over. 

“i hope whoever invented this is getting bomb ass head right now,” you breathed out, starting to feel some relief.

“what about the guy who bought it for you? what does he get?” jason asked, starting his fan up and spraying his chest, it now glistening with both sweat and tap water. 

“absolutely nothing until the temperature drops,” you smiled at him. “what flavors did you get?”

jason’s lips puckered slightly as he leaned back against the kitchen counter. “strawberry, pineapple, and this caribbean mix with a bunch of flavors in it. you might wanna wait on eating them, though. they’ll probably melt fast.”

“it's a risk i'm willing to take,” you said, going and grabbing a popsicle for yourself. you unwrapped it and hummed happily at the flavor against your tongue. the brand jason bought was a little more expensive but it was definitely worth it. the real fruit juices and chunks were much more satisfying to taste than the artificial flavoring of the other brands.

“is it good?” jason asked, a small smile on his lips. despite being uncomfortably hot, seeing you happy made it bearable. the fact that he was able to provide you with the things you needed, even if it was something as simple as your favorite popsicle, made him feel good.

“mhm,” you nodded, some of the juices starting to trickle down your chin and onto your chest. you looked down and frowned a little. you started spraying your chest, trying to get the stickiness to go away. 

jason watched you desperately try to lick up the juices that were now sliding down the stick and getting on your hands. it just wouldn't stop and it was making a huge mess, just as he had warned you it would. 

“sweetheart, there's more popsicle on your chest than there is in your mouth,” he commented condescendingly and you glared at him.

“maybe that's how i like eating it, jason,” you said, his name coming out of your mouth like venom. 

“you know what? i like eating it that way, too,” he nodded in agreement, stepping towards you and dipping his head down to lick at your collarbone and move down the valley of your chest. 

your breath hitched at the unexpected contact and the added body heat to your personal bubble. jason had come back up, giving you a soft kiss and licking the remnants of your most recent bite off of your lips. as badly as you wanted to melt into the kiss, you pulled away. you grabbed your fan and started spraying him in the face. 

“down, boy,” you scolded him playfully, little giggles coming from him as he flinched his punishment. “i'm trying to eat.”

“so am i,” he smirked, taking the popsicle from you and taking a bite out of it. he looked around the room, whistling as he not so subtly let the popsicle fall against your chest and dragging it down some, watching as it dripped down your abdomen. you gasped out as the contrasting temperatures, your back hitting the fridge. 

“oh wow. i'm so sorry,” his fake apology rang against your ears. he took the dessert off of your skin, handing it back to you. “i'll get that for you.”

his lips and tongue fell upon your skin again, dragging over the stains. he found himself at your nipples, despite not getting anything on them. he swirled his tongue around the quickly hardening buds, managing to get a pleasant sound from you. he got on his knees, collecting the sweetness that was threatening to make it way to your underwear. he eagerly lapped it all up before it got to that point, firmly holding your hips against the door to prevent you from moving away.

“jason, it's too hot,” you sighed as he planted kisses up your naval, looking up at you with playful eyes.

“i know. this is really sexy, isn't it?” he spoke against your body, which got himself sprayed again by you. this time, he saw it as encouragement instead of a punishment. how thoughtful of you to help keep him cool while he focused on making you feel good. 

you kept spraying him until he eventually let up, laughing again as he got off of his knees. “fine, fine. if you won't indulge me in my sexy popsicle fantasy, can we at least go take a shower?”

“only to get the juice off. no other reason,” you said coyly and he smirked at you, giving you a firm nod.

“of course. what other reason would there be?” he asked as the two of you headed to the bathroom, touching at each other and giggling your entire way there, taking what little clothes you both had off of each other. by the time the water started running, the little act had dropped and you were all over each other. it was freezing, which put your bodies into a slight shock as you panted heavily in between feverish kisses. 

jason’s favorite thing to do was hoist you up, with your legs wrapped around his waist. he liked showing you how strong he was and feeling your body flush against his own. he made sure to position you high enough against the tile wall so you wouldn't have water violently hitting your face, but close enough to where you could still feel it everywhere else. he never allowed himself to be blinded by lust at the expense of your comfort. 

his hips rolled into yours and his face found its way back to your chest, peppering it with kisses. you carded your fingers through his wet hair, tugging at it just how he liked. even though you were doing a very physically taxing activity, this was the coolest you had felt all day. you wasted no time giving jason’s plump lips the kisses they had deserved earlier, your boyfriend more than happy to reciprocate. as much as you didn't want to part from him again, he pulled away and began suckling at your neck. normally you would object to being marked in such a visible location but you gave him a pass this one time. after all, he was the guy who bought you the spray fan. 

your feet touched the ground again and he turned you around, pressing you against the wall and grinding softly into your backside. it didn't take him long to pull your leg up and slowly insert himself inside of you. you started seeing stars and that's when your legs became like jelly, causing you to lose your balance. jason quickly reacted, your hearts pounding as you tried to stay vertical.

“are you alright?” he asked, his nose rubbing the shell of your ear. 

“yeah, i just got dizzy,” you explained, grabbing his hand with an embarrassed smile. “i'm okay.”

“so clumsy,” he grinned, kissing your temple as his slow thrusting began. his hand trailed down your side and landed on your ass, using it as leverage.

you moaned his name as he started going deeper and slower. he was teasing you now, which was to be expected. even on the hottest of days, in one of the least comfortable locations, he didn't pass up the opportunity. jason treating this like any other love making session and not just a quickie turned you on even more. he never let you question his dedication to making you unravel beneath him.

“jason, please. stop teasing me,” you begged him, knowing that was the only way he would stop. closed mouths don't get fed, as he would say. 

“only because you asked so nicely,” he responded smugly, picking up the pace now. the sounds of slapping skin and breathy moans were amplified by the acoustics of the room. you began feeling a slight ache; a result of jason’s girth and length inside of you. a normal person would’ve asked for a break, but not you. it fueled you to continued, fucking back against him and squeezing around the very thing that was causing you mild pain. 

“it feels good, doesn’t it?” he asked you and you didn't respond. you hated how he always knew exactly what you were doing. “tell me it does, sweetheart. i wanna hear you say it.”

you ignored him again, moving against him a little faster now. his hands quickly went to your hips, holding you still. “answer me,” he whispered in your ear and you whimpered in defeat.

“it feels good,” you mumbled, trying to move again, but to no avail. 

“sorry, i didn’t catch that.”

“it feels good, jason.”

“i'm glad. i want you to feel good,” he smiled, letting you go. you continued to try and reach your high, doing most of the work now while jason watched. his hands caressed your body, encouraging you to continue. 

“does it feel good for you?” you asked him and he nodded. 

“it always does, sweetheart. i feel amazing whenever i’m with you,” he told you, starting to meet you half way with his thrusts. “doesn't matter if i'm inside you or not.”

you felt your face heat up at his words. you hated how he had that effect on you. you felt yourself slip against the wet tile again and he caught you, pulling you back against him. 

“would you stop doing that?” the two of you laughed together, taking a quick breather. “i need you to not die in the middle of me fucking you, okay?”

“okay, i'm sorry,” you giggled as jason helped you get back into position. “i'm sorry.”

“it's alright, don't worry,” he reassured you, slipping his hand up your front and around your throat. “is this okay?”

you nodded, feeling more secure in this modified position. despite your little interruption, you still felt as needy as ever. his grip on you was so gentle that you could almost be convinced you’d slip again, but jason knew your body like the back of his hand. he knew what he needed to do to keep you safe and not hurt you in the process. 

“let’s finish up,” jason’s tone was comforting and you hummed in agreement, picking up right where the two of you left off. it didn't take long, either. you could feel the pressure building up inside of you, waiting to wash over you. once you felt his tip pressing against that sweet spot he was so good at exploiting, you knew there was no going back now. 

you both started getting sloppy, jason’s thrusts being less methodical and your movements no longer matching with his. jason’s broken gasps and moans send you over the edge, sending you spiraling in euphoria. his grip on your throat tightened very slightly as he filled you up, his face resting in the crook of your neck. you let out a sigh as he slipped out of you, feeling his cheek pressing against you, silently urging you to turn around. you complied, your noses grazing each other before your lips met again with little kisses.

“we can take a real shower now,” he smiled against your lips, kissing you again. “no more sexy fantasies. i promise.”

“no more sexy fantasies during a heatwave,” you corrected him, grabbing your wash cloth and wiping away some of the sweat forming at his hairline. “any other time, they will be greatly accepted and expected.”

“good to know.”

[ishgard]

Nabbing up this meme + my answers from twitter to post here!

1. what's their favorite beverage - alcoholic and/or non-alcoholic?

She's pretty simple with alcohol: give her anything fruity and/or sweet and she's set, it's a bit cliche but sex on the beach has a 'special' memory attached. Same with non-alcoholic drinks really, she loves Shirley temples, fruity teas and lemonades, and super sweet coffee drinks.

2. what's their favorite flavor? (spicy, sweet, sour, etc)

Mana will eat just about anything, she's very eager to try new foods (whether she thinks she'll like them or not) - but she does ESPECIALLY love sweet foods of any kind. She's also pretty much got that crazy anime, Usagi/Goku kind of appetite/stomach going on.

3. what's their favorite food?

She has such a deep love for food in general it's hard to nail one thing down. Some honorable mentions would be souffle pancakes, and just about any sweet apple baked good, crepes, fresh fruits, and mochi. (...I swear she does love foods other than sweets, like big juicy burgers and pizza.)

4. breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacks - which do they look forward to the most?

All of the above. She LOVES a good breakfast spread though, (missing from #3: breakfast sandwiches!!!) and dessert (obvious by now, surely) places pretty high.

5. do they have a food or flavor they absolutely hate?

For a while she really disliked apple-based foods because she ate a LOT of them as a kid, but she's come back around to loving them. Otherwise, not the biggest fan of avocado (mostly a texture thing) or cottage cheese, and celery can only be in soup/stew or covered in peanut butter and raisins.

6. can they tolerate spicy food?

She doesn't have a very HIGH tolerance, but she does enjoy food that has some kick to it. But not a fan of say, spicy food SOLELY for the sake of spiciness, she's not just drenching her food in hot sauce for the thrill of it, but wants it to be a part of a wider variety of tastes.

7. what is their favorite animal?

Rabbits! She also really likes cats, foxes, and snakes, but rabbits are a big 'personal' animal for her. (Modern AU she wears some cute-ass rabbit headphones while streaming.) As far as 'image' animal goes, it's almost a little verse dependent, or as she's been told: 'You play the part of the rabbit, but you're really quite the clever little fox.'

8. what do they wear to bed?

Anything from long shirts/nightgowns, pajama shorts+tank tops, to just her underwear or sleeping in the nude if it's really hot out. She absolutely owns (at least) one of these, too, mostly for lounging around.

9. what position do they like to sleep in?

She moves a lot in her sleep, but can typically be found starfishing or curled up in a ball. Alternatively, wrapped around one of her many pillows, or (more preferably), Belial. In the latter case, there's zero regard for temperature, even if she's hot and sweaty and miserable good luck prying her off of him.

10. are they a morning person or a night owl?

While Mana is naturally more of an early bird, she also loves the night time and stargazing, and just the solitude the night often brings, so sometimes it's all down to day-to-day moods and vibes.

11. are they a heavy sleeper or do they wake up easily?

Generally a pretty heavy sleeper, unless she's having pain or otherwise can't relax (whether anxious or excited). She can sleep through a lot when she's out though, for better or worse. (Bel usually doesn't have a hard time getting her up, though.)

12. it's a rainy day, what will they do cooped up inside all day?

........fuck around with Bel. >_> Otherwise, making treats in the kitchen, reading/writing letters, or just curled up with a book and watching the storm. ..Pretty much all of these will also end with fucking around with Bel (again) though.

If there's thunder, due to mild astraphobia, she might need to take something to help her relax, or listen to some music, but the above still applies for want of distractions.

13. do they have a favorite scent or smell?

Fresh baked goods, Belial, coffee, the smell of freshly warmed milk with cinnamon and honey.

14. what do they smell like? do they wear perfume or cologne?

If she hasn't been out fighting/traveling (thus smelling like the outdoors, campfire, flowers, sweat), she's likely to smell like something sweet; cinnamon, honey, or just whatever she's recently cooked. There's almost always a sweet apple-y smell around her no matter what.

15. baths or showers?

Baths! Long, luxurious, bubble-filled baths that ease all the aches and tensions. Bath time is relax and unwind time, a sacred art complete with bath salts, bath bombs, or maybe candlelit with some snacks and wine, or a good fruit juice.

16. how good are they at cooking?

Very good! She loves to cook and bake, both for herself and especially for others, and enjoys trying out new recipes and techniques. It started out of necessity, cooking for herself and her brother, but she really grew to enjoy it seeing the way he'd light up, and also cuz she just loves to eat. Preparing holiday goodies for occasions like Valentines and White Day are favorite festivities of hers, and in modern au she works at a bakery.

17. what's their favorite time of the year and why?

While she enjoys all of the seasons for different reasons, she probably enjoys spring and summer the most. She likes being outside, enjoying the air, and especially loves going to the beach.

18. do they have a favorite holiday?

Halloween and Christmas (and their varying fantasy equivalents) for sure. Halloween is perfect for her, between her sweet tooth and love of mischief-making. Meanwhile for Christmas she typically goes all out preparing seasonal foods and gifts for friends.

19. do they prefer buying ore receiving gifts?

She wouldn't be ashamed to say both. 'Who doesn't love receiving gifts?' after all, though she can get a little flustered if it starts to edge towards spoiling her. Her gift-giving can range from 'very good', choosing the perfect gift for the individual, to... outlandishly questionable (or at least humorous) - though, no less thoughtful, necessarily.

20. how tall are they, and how do they feel about their height?

She stands around 5'2", and typically doesn't think much of her height or 'lack thereof'. Except, say, when she's trying to get something off of the highest shelves and cupboards, though that usually just means she gets to climb on the counters.

[prepperjournal]

Building Your Survival Food Pantry

When I was a child, we had a bomb shelter. My parents didn’t build it – it was there when they bought the house. But they did stock it with what they believed to be the most important survival items, should we ever get “hit.” I remember several battery-operated items – radio, flashlights, and such – and of course, clothing and bedding in a trunk. But then there were the food and drink items - our survival food pantry. There were all sorts of canned goods, of course, and large bottles of water (only glass in those days). Foods that normally came in boxes (e.g., cereal and powdered milk) were put into glass jars. Times have changed. Now that we have plastic and bagged items with long shelf lives, bomb shelter food would look very different today (except for the powdered milk, I suppose, which I always hated). And there are plenty of ways to keep food items water-proof. A nuclear event is not the only disaster for which we need to be prepared these days. Earthquakes, fires, floods, hurricanes, and tornadoes are all on the rise, as well as real threats from people both within and outside our country. Then there are blizzards, pandemics, and long-term power outages as we recently saw in Texas. And the Boy Scout motto of “Be Prepared” should still guide our preparedness. So, let’s take a look at what a survival food pantry should look like today. Whether we face a short-term or long-term disaster, it is best to plan for a long-term food and water shortage at the onset. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9J31WXxAEwY Survival Food Pantry Basics – The List - Water: It’s the “rules of threes” here. You can survive three minutes without oxygen, 3 days without water, and three months without food. If you are breathing, then water is the next priority. If you are planning a pantry for “bug-in” survival, you will want between ½ - 1 gallon of water per day, per person. This also presupposes that, if you have a means of cooking, you may use some water. And there is personal hygiene to think of too. In short, water must be your top priority. If the public water supply is disrupted, then any tap water will have to be purified once that supply is restored. A few drops of household bleach per gallon will do the trick and save you from the necessity of boiling if your power is out. If you are thinking in terms of a “bug-out” survival, water will be too heavy to carry. What you want instead is a water collection device and filters. And, if you have access to wood and bring matches, boiling water is always an option here. FIFO Can Tracker | Stores 54 cans | Rotates First in First Out | Canned Goods Organizer for Cupboard, Pantry and Cabinet | Food Storage | Organize Your Kitchen | Made in USA - Organize Your Food Pantry - Our patent designed FIFO Can Tracker keeps your kitchen organized by storing and rotating your canned goods on a First In First Out model saving you from expired food cost and waste! Designed to store cans from 4 to 15 ounces. Perfect for diced chili cans, soup cans or standard vegetable cans. Holds up to 54 cans. Perfect to organize your food storage. - Sturdy Design - Made in the USA, this product is built to last and will be a permanent solution to your kitchen organization problem. Easily connect multiple units together to expand your storage. - Easy Installation - Put together in just minutes following a simple 4 step process. - Fits on Existing Shelves - Product dimensions are 12" H x 16" W x 16" D allowing you to organize your pantry, cabinet and cupboard. - 100% Customer Satisfaction Guarantee - If you are not satisfied with your purchase and feel this product has not solved your pantry organization problem simply return for a full refund. $38.99 Buy on Amazon - Canned Goods: These are absolute staples if you are sheltered in place in your home. And they will provide a variety of foods so that you don’t face “food boredom.” Think in terms of canned meats, beans (a great source of protein), fish, fruits, and veggies. Variety is the key here so that you and your family members have choices. And these can be eaten without cooking. After all, your instant pot may not be an option right now. Canned soups are a great option if you buy those that are not concentrated. They can be eaten right out of the can without the need for water or cooking. Ensure you have a good rotation plan also. - Food in Jars: Here’s where the advent of plastic comes in. There’s a huge list of food and drink that now comes in plastic jars that prevent breakage and are less in weight. Think peanut butter and jelly; think bottled juices; think fruits. They, too, have long shelf lives and can provide a good variety. - Snacks: Snacks can provide a bit of a respite from the boredom that comes from lack of electricity and Wi-Fi. Crackers and chips come boxed and bagged. If humidity is an issue, then it can be stored in plastic bags. They have a long shelf-life and will not have to be “changed out” too often.  Dips are obviously out to “dress up” these items, but there are freeze-dried meats that will do, as well as peanut butter. If you can’t cook popcorn is out, but nuts are not. Stock up on a good variety. - Dried Foods: These were not around when I was a kid, but just go through any grocery store and look at all the possibilities. There are dried fruits and meats galore – everything from jerkies to fruit leather, to banana chips. Stock up on plenty of these – lightweight and nutritious. - Granola Bars: I put these in a separate category because they are a source of almost every nutrient we need – protein, carbs, a bit of fat, and even that need for something sweet. If you should have to “bug out,” they are lightweight, have a long shelf life, and can provide the energy you will need. Look for those that are high in protein – this provides long-term energy, while carbs and sugars are only for the short-term. - About that Powdered Milk: Fortunately, powdered milk now comes in cans, as opposed to those traditional boxes. You do not have to take measures to protect it from water damage. When reconstituted with water, it can be used on cereal and for cooking (e.g., mashed potatoes) if you have an alternative cooking method during power outages. If you have children who cannot tolerate the taste, then have a supply of canned chocolate or strawberry syrup to “sweeten the deal.” - Pasta, Rice, Noodles: These can be temporarily filling because of their carb content. But here’s the thing: they must be cooked, and that will require using your supply of water. If you are sheltered in place with your public water supply still available, then all is good. You can cook these up as much as you wish. But if your water supply is cut off, or you have to use alternative methods for cooking, these are probably not good options. Still, put them in your pantry on the chance that they can be prepared. - The Debate About Couscous: Yes, this is a type of pasta, made from small grains of a specific type of wheat flour. The beauty of it is that it is steamed rather than boiled and takes far less water to cook. Unlike traditional pasta, couscous cooks in about two minutes. On the other hand, it is extremely high in gluten. So, if you have family members with gluten sensitivity, it is not an option. Planning for Long-Term Survival in Place As mentioned above, your food pantry should be planned for long-term survival, even if an immediate event is only short-term. Our goal for long-term survival in place is to have those food items that: - Provide solid nutrition - Can be prepared using as little fuel and water as possible - Will be “damage-proof” - Are as compact as possible - Have a variety of flavors and consistencies, so that “food boredom” doesn’t set in Here are some things to think about as you stock that survival food pantry: - Avoid dried beans. While they are a great source of protein, they take lots of water and fuel to cook. Items like navy beans and great northern beans now come in cans. Opt for that alternative. - Water is still the highest priority. Have ½ - 1 gallon per person per day for about a month. Beyond that, you will need a water-collection device/process and water filters to purify that water. - Rely on canned goods as much as possible, but remember they have lots of sodium and sugar, so are not as healthy as other options. - Freeze-dried fruits and veggies are a must. They don’t take up much space, and they are sources of essential nutrients and antioxidants. They are also important to keep your intestinal functions operating properly. You will get the right amounts of vitamins and minerals through these freeze-dried items. - Honey has no shelf-life. It can last forever. Have lots of it to use as a sweetener, and it does come in plastic containers. - Instant oatmeal packets. Place these in plastic bags to preen water damage. They are reconstituted with a small amount of water and heat. Use honey for sweeteners. While sugar lasts forever too, it does not have the health benefits of honey and is susceptible to humidity. - A variety of oils can add “spice” and flavor to foods. And most come in plastic containers now. If you can cook, use them liberally. They are caloric heavy and can provide energy as well as better taste. - Ramen: This is a common survival food for college students on tight budgets, but there are survival benefits too. They are good sources of carbs and take only a small amount of water to cook. - Freeze-dried and dried meats: these can last over a year. - Canned tuna in oil: perfect source of protein and Omega-3. - Granola and protein bars: Perfect for snacks and well-rounded nutrition. One Keynote here: make certain that all foods that are packaged in boxes or paper-type containers are stored in water-proof packaging, such as mylar bags that are vacuum-sealed. If You have to bug out When you have to evacuate, you face unique challenges. Of course, you cannot drag jugs of water and canned goods in backpacks. A wheeled cart is certainly a short-term solution, but it will not house everything you may need for a long-term bug-out situation. Your options are limited, so focus on these items: - A water collection device and filters - Survival Matches - Flashlights with new batteries or headlamps - Fully lightweight nutrition bars and other freeze-dried items You Can do This... Planning ahead is the best scenario for survival. Water and food are key factors in that planning. Make a list of items for both short and long-term survival, get to your grocery store and other retailers with the right supplies and equipment. You can be prepared for any disaster, and that brings a lot of peace of mind. Author’s bio. Jessica Fender is a professional writer and educational blogger. Jessica enjoys sharing her ideas to make writing and learning fun. You can check her last review here. Read the full article

[thedumbguywithaheart43]

Boomlord weird adventure

Chapter 8 what time is it?

It was early morning in the omnispace void. Boomwood had gotten to the kitchen to start brewing coffee as the footsteps of a yawning purple hair woman enter the room."morning Twilight."Twilight mearly gave him a wave before sitting down. Looked at her noticing the look on her face. To be honest she looked exhausted.'ah shit'he quickly poured a shot glass of the Cuban coffee and handed it to her. She stared at the coffee for a minute."I appreciate the gesture but I doubt this is going to do much for me."good Lord gave out a chuckle."Twilight trust me this is Cuban coffee any more than this and you'll be wired."He gave out a chuckle before Twilight downed the shot, unsurprisingly her face scrunched up. This was probably the most bitter thing she ever had."bleh! Why would you drink something so bitter!"Boomlord shrugged."honestly I only drink it for the caffeine. If it helps I think I have some orange juice in the fridge."Twilight just looked down rubbing her head . Not long after the other girls walked in each of them heading into the fridge grabbing various fruits mostly apples. Pinkie pie was the only one who grabbed something else, looks like she found the flan and was in heaven."oh my Celestia this tastes so good!"At least she wasn't breaking the fourth wall again.

2 After everyone ate they all headed to the living room again."ok girls this is it we are heading to the next world. Now before I go this mission is not meant to be dangerous however the world we're entering can be a bit chaotic so be prepared for anything."The rest of the girls nodded they likely had assumed as much from the previous conversations."so where are we going anyway"dash blurted out as boom pulled out his pen."yeah I'm with Dash partner id hate to go in blind."Aj took a step forward to make her point."we're going to a place called ooo I spent a lot of time there and it's the only place I can really say I have friends anymore...."booms voice got deep as a sorrowful look overtook his face for a minute. This was enough to make Applejack back off. Twilight in particular took a mental note of this.'guess friends are a touchy subject for him.' boom grabbed his notepad An drew another circle, in the center he wrote °adventure Time 1°as always the golden electrical ring formed with a blackened middle. Boomlord jumped into the portal and when he landed his feet were on solid ground. Solid green grassy ground. He surveyed the area around him noticing he was in a grassy clear field however the ends of what looks like old nuclear bombs stuck out overtaken by the grassy plains. The girls enter next each of them still in their same outfits however 4 of the girls had notable changes to them . Twilight and rarity each had a sword at their side. Twilight sword with a sleek and purple short sword with her cutie mark on the hilt. Rarity sword on the other hand looked as if it were made of blue crystal with a white metal hilt her cutie mark also on it. Fluttershy and rainbow Dash had also had the return of their wings which Dash took this opportunity to fly up into the air a bit doing a few loops and swirls."Hell yeah I missed this!"boom couldn't help but smile."Real fly girl up there."a few of them awkwardly smile."so where's our destination?"Twilight asked giving him a quick grin knowing that he's trying his best to make everyone feel better about being in a strange world."we're going to see princess bubblegum at the Candy Kingdom."and just like that he found himself lying on the ground being pinned by pinkie pie."DID YOU SAY CANDY KINGDOM! A KINGDOM MADE OF CANDY IS THIS PLACE PARADISE O.M.C O.M.C."Twilight practically had to pry pinky off of him ."yes the entire Kingdom from the trees to the ground is made of candy including the people."He started to brush himself off as pinky smile only widen."but please don't eat the Candy people or I will probably have to stop you"pinky reluctantly nodded.

3"rainbow do you mind taking an aerial view try to find the place that looks like it's surrounded by Pink cotton candy trees.... Well because it is surrounded by Pink cotton candy trees."boom called out before stopping looking at the ground a large Shadow now loomed over them. It was Spike. All the ponies turn to look back in both shock and horror. Spike mostly remain the same with one slight difference... He was absolutely Giant. His whole body in total was about the size of a two sorry house and his wings could probably cover all of them with ease."oh yeah I forgot dragons are huge here but at least he still looks different from them normally they're just Giant tube dragons with big ass butts."The ponies/girls stared for a moment but in silent agreement they chose not to address it not that Spike would mind he was too busy checking himself out."oh crap I'm HUGE you guys look so small from up here!" It was the most adorable giant grin in the world. Rainbow decided now was a good time to take him to the air as she being flapping her wings disappearing above the clouds. Surveying the land below she was able to make out what looks like pink trees and a large structure that looked somewhat like a castle."guess that must be what I'm looking for."she kept looking around noticing in One direction was a rather large tree that almost looks like it had Windows in it and in the opposite direction she noticed tall mountains made entirely of ice."heh heh heh what do we have here"a voice from nowhere stated in a malicious tone from behind her. Is she turned to look behind her she saw a giant monster with a bat like face and long blue limbs with crooked nails.'OH SHIT'at this point rainbow Dash started nose diving down towards her friends with the creature in pursuit who was maliciously chuckling the entire way down. The rest of the group saw the creature and the girls had various reactions. Applejack rarity and Twilight look like they were getting ready to fight with rarity and Twilight pulling out their swords. Fluttershy and Pinky had decided to stick near Spike who is now using his wings to shield them.Then there was boom standing out in the open as dash passed him and he just smiled. Apon seeing him the creature stopped a look of surprise on our face."hey Marceline it's been a while"the creature began to shrink taking on a human form she had pale white skin and incredibly long black hair which reached down to her feet a simple jacket and jeans and her ,guitar-axe strapef to her back and a nice big floopy hat which covered her in a shroud of darkness. She give out a wide smile revealing her fangs before wrapping her arms around boom giving him a hug."holy glob dude!your back it's been like 4 months!"he returned the embrace from his old friend as the rest of the girls started to calm down noticing that whatever that thing was it seemed friendly at least now it did."oh that's right."he turned to the girls and dragon."everyone this is my old friend Marceline... The vampire queen"a few of the girls jaw started to drop."your freinds with a literal blood sucking vampire?"Marceline shrugged at Twilight comment."actually it's just the color I'm after."Marceline started floating on her back around them."so boom what brings you and your new friends back to ooo."Boomlord got quiet."I found it Marcy.... I found the Rose fire and they're here because Twilight here"pointing at the slightly flustered purple pony girl."is the key to everything."Marceline stopped moving for a moment the words settling in her mind."oh we need to get to the Candy Kingdom right away then."then without word Marceline started floating off towards the direction of the Kingdom and boom followed along with the girls and the giant dragon...... Yeah that might be a problem.

4 After a few hours of walking they all managed to reach the candy kingdom with Spike deciding to hide in the trees to avoid unwanted attention. Pinkie pie look like she was about to go crazy or more crazy."o.m.c so m-much candy!"she was practically foaming at the mouth."look pinky just eat the sidewalk or something just please don't start eating random people I don't want to deal with any drama today especially because we need the princess's help."the pony started walking forward into the rather nice town and to boomlord credit every building and every person was made of candy, And many candies citizens passed by. Mr cupcake crunchy punch bowl guy."wow this is actually really fascinating I can't help but wonder what they're DNA is like how do candy people procreate do they need to breathe or eat its quite fascinating"Twilight then begin rambling about a whole bunch of science jargon that boom did not know but he found himself listening to every word she spoke it wasn't until arsenaline tapped his shoulder that he snapped out of his trance."I see you found a real good friend~"she whispered in a teasing tone."w-what no she's just um cool you know for someone who was a horse the other day."Marceline rolled her eyes."horse or not you always did have a thing for a Smart ones~."boom felt his blood pump. "Oh you're one to talk."Marceline then backed off she knew how far she could go before boom would made her regret it. After a while of walking the group then found themselves at the castle as a pink cared and pink skinned princess in a long pink dress noticed them."oh my! Boom you have returned and with.. many female companions huh"princess bubblegum gave a smirk."oh don't you start now too!" Boom was probably going to say more before pb gave him a warm hug."so I assume this has to do with the rose fire."bubblegum look down at him and while she kept a smile her face was full of worry."yeah Twilight here um it's kind of a long story."bubblegum nodded."it always is."about an hour had passed after this meeting and boom had explained to Marceline and bubblegum how we came to meet the girls and discover the fire leaving out the parts where he burned himself or threw a skillet at Twilight."interesting I'll probably have to run a few scans on Twilight then with her permission."Twilight nodded."good we'll start by using the rejuvenation tank to monitor your body and vitals while I conduct a few scans"boom notice that she was pointing to the large tank filled with water and knew that this meant that Twilight was going to have to strip down which he then took his cue to leave. "I'll be back soon gonna check on stuff."and before anyone could say anything he left the room.

(oh and before I forget I'll be opening asks for boomlord and Friends so if they appear in the story feel free to ask them a question ask box is officially open)

[megashadowdragon]

This post is a reworked and somewhat expanded tidbit from a massive writing about House Martell I posted last Friday. I think the topic—Doran's gout—is of interest even to those who have no interest in "tinfoil" of any kind. Because I think it deserves a wider airing than the one it likely got buried deep in the comment-continuations of a monster post, I decided to pull out the relevant, not-tinfoil-y stuff, goose it out a little, and post it on its own, separated from the tinfoil context.

TL;DR: Doran has "saturnine gout", caused by chronic lead poisoning from the lead sugar used to sweeten his beloved "sweet heavy strongwine". His gout and elements of his story are a riff on the story of the infamously gout-afflicted real world King Charles I of Spain AKA Holy Roman Emperor Charles V.

All About Doran's Gout

Doran has gout. Why might that be, and what is the purpose of giving him gout?

Gout was historically/colloquially believed to be caused by excessive alcohol (onlinelibrary . wiley . com/doi/pdf/10 . 1002/art . 1780080442 ) consumption. We absolutely see Doran drink and indeed show a "love" for "sweet, heavy strongwine":

[Doran] ate a bit of it, and drank a cup of the sweet, heavy strongwine that he loved. When it was empty, he filled it once again. (CotG)

Each of the Martells in general seems to like to drink in their own way, too. Thus we see Selmy tell Dany Quentyn is…

"Drinking with his knights" (DWD Dae VIII)

…and when Quent subsequently appears, his face is "flushed and ruddy". Dany assumes he's drunk on wine (just like Elder Brother):

Too much wine, the queen concluded… (ibid.)

We also see Quentyn really savor a glass of wine in the dark and pour himself another, much as Doran did, above:

Quentyn… poured himself a cup of wine and drank it in the dark. The taste was sweet solace on his tongue, so he lit a candle and poured himself another. (DWD tDT)

Oberyn swills wine like water:

"Is it Dornish wine you're drinking?" [said Oberyn.]

"From the Arbor."

Oberyn made a face. "Red water."

…

"I think I may drink some of Lord Redwyne's grape juice after all."

"As you like." Tyrion served him a cup.

The man took a sip, sloshed it about in his mouth, and swallowed. "It will serve, for the moment. I will send you up some strong Dornish wine on the morrow." He took another sip. (SOS Ty IX)

Tyrion found Prince Oberyn drinking a cup of red wine as he donned his armor. He was attended by four of his younger Dornish lordlings. "Good morrow to you, my lord," the prince said. "Will you take a cup of wine?"

"Should you be drinking before battle?"

"I always drink before battle." (SOS Ty X)

Arianne likewise really enjoys her wine:

When [Arianne] required more wine, Timoth would fetch it. (FFC PitT)

When [Arianne and Tyene] were ten Arianne had stolen a flagon of wine, and the two of them had gotten drunk together. (PitT)

Cedra glanced up shyly at his name and almost spilled the wine that she was pouring [for Arianne]. (PitT)

[Arianne] drank a little wine to settle her stomach. (PitT)

She seems to prefer her wine strong and she makes fun of Arys's low tolerance for alcohol:

[Arys:] "I was drunk when I said that.

[Arianne:] "You'd had three cups of watered wine." (FFC tSK)

She also tacitly informs us that the Dornish as a whole are a drunken bunch when she says the "Drunken Dornishman" Inn was "aptly named". (TWOW Ari II)

Thus we might simply conclude that Doran has gout because he, like a typical Martell and typical Dornishman, drinks too much.

In truth, though, while booze isn't good for gout, clinically fructose is a greater villain.    Thus Doran's orange-eating—

He had decided to break his fast before he went, with a blood orange and a plate of gull's eggs diced with bits of ham and fiery peppers. (CotG)

"We were eating oranges." - Doran Martell (CotG)

—is probably worse for his gout than his alcohol consumption, per se (notwithstanding the fact that vitamin C on its own may slightly lower one's risk of contracting gout in the first place). Besides all the oranges he eats, the purine-rich ham he puts in his eggs is especially bad for him, while the dates Dorne is known for (along with its fruit in general)—

A fortnight past, a trader had been butchered in the shadow city, a harmless man who'd come to Dorne for fruit and found death instead of dates. (FFC tSK)

—are a veritable fructose bomb.

Not Simply Gout, But Saturnine Gout

All that having been said, I strongly suspect that Doran's gout is not about his alcohol consumption, per se, nor even all that fruit. Rather, I suspect his gout is "saturnine gout", which is caused by lead poisoning. Lead sugar AKA "salt of Saturn" AKA lead acetate was often added to wine in and after the Middle Ages to sweeten and/or preserve it. And what kind of wine does Doran love?

sweet, heavy [like lead!] strongwine

Sounds like wine sweetened with lead sugar to me, especially given (a) lead's colloquial reputation as quintessentially "heavy" and (b) GRRM's love of wordplay.

Sure enough, the distinguishing features of saturnine gout perfectly coincide with Doran's symptoms. Unlike normal gout, which tends to afflict one or perhaps two joints only and most frequently the joint at the base of the big toe, bouts of saturnine gout "tend to occur in the knee" and "are frequently polyarticular", meaning they affect many joints at once. (www  .  ncbi . nlm . nih . gov/pubmed/2661030) Indeed, Doran's knees are a huge problem, and his gout is very polyarticular:

The gout had swollen and reddened his joints grotesquely; his left knee was an apple, his right a melon, and his toes had turned to dark red grapes, so ripe it seemed as though a touch would burst them. (FFC CotG)

Doran has other subtle symptoms that are consistent with lead poisoning/saturnine gout as well. Consider these descriptions of Doran:

…they found Doran Martell seated behind a cyvasse table, his gouty legs supported by a cushioned footstool. He was toying with an onyx elephant, turning it in his reddened, swollen hands. The prince looked worse than she had ever seen him. His face was pale and puffy, his joints so inflamed that it hurt her just to look at them. (FFC PitT)

Beneath the coverlet, his legs were pale, soft, ghastly. Both of his knees were red and swollen, and his toes were almost purple, twice the size they should have been. (DWD tW)

[Doran] sounded so sad, so exhausted, so weak. (FFC PitT)

When he raised his head to look at her, his dark eyes were clouded with pain. Is that the gout? Arianne wondered. (PitT)

In the shade of the orange trees, the prince sat in his chair with his gouty legs propped up before him, and heavy bags beneath his eyes . . . though whether it was grief or gout that kept him sleepless, Hotah could not say. (CotG)

The prince leaned back against his pillows and closed his eyes, but Hotah knew he did not sleep. He is in pain. (CotG)

Sometimes in the deep black hours of the morning sleep found him in his chair. (CotG)

The prince sat in his high seat beneath the Martell spear, his face pale with pain. (CotG)

Look, his hand is shaking. The Prince of Dorne is terrified. (tSK)

[Doran's] legs had been useless for three years, but there was still some strength in his hands and shoulders. (DWD tW)

Doran's generalized pain, exhaustion and weakness, his insomnia (complete with more wordplay surrounding lead's weight: he has "heavy bags under his eyes"), his hand tremors (if not feigned for Arys's benefit) and his mostly pallid complexion combined with the lividity (blood pooling/dark color/swelling) in his hands and lower body is likewise consistent with chronic lead poisoning.

Another symptom of lead poisoning is loss of appetite (whereas common gout is associated with overconsumption), and Doran certainly doesn't seem the hungry sort:

A serving man brought him a bowl of purple olives, with flatbread, cheese, and chickpea paste. He ate a bit of it, and drank a cup of the sweet, heavy strongwine that he loved.

Chronic common gout leads to the formation of "tophi"—white, chalky deposits of uric acid crystals which can break through the skin—whereas "tophi rarely develop" in cases of saturnine gout. And lo! There's no hint of tophi in the descriptions of Doran's gout symptoms.

Given the medical evidence, it's safe to say that Doran's beloved strongwine is the primary cause of his troubles. (In a certain unusual sense, then, it can be said that Doran does have a drinking problem of sorts after all. It's just not the alcohol that's causing the problem.)

The "Saturnine" Giveaway

While the medical evidence adds up, for me there's an even better, textually-coded reason to believe that Doran has saturnine gout. Remembering that saturnine gout is caused by lead poisoning, isn't it interesting that Doran's brother Oberyn is (a) a master poisoner and (b) literally called "saturnine" in juxtaposition to a reference to Doran's gout"

"My brother's health requires he remain at Sunspear." The princeling removed his helm. Beneath, his face was lined and saturnine, with thin arched brows above large eyes as black and shiny as pools of coal oil. (SOS Ty V)

Ladies and gentlemen: GRRM.

The Charles I/V Parallel

Doran's gout is clearly riffing on the story of one of real-world history's most infamous gout sufferers: Spain's King Charles I AKA Holy Roman Emperor Charles V.

Charles didn't marry until he was 25—very late in life for his era and station. Doran likewise married very late for a firstborn highborn man of Westeros: Given that Doran is 52 at the beginning of AFFC, in very early 300 AC—

Though he was but two-and-fifty, Doran Martell seemed much older. (FFC CotG)

—he was likely 25 c. 273, when he did not sail to Casterly Rock with his mother and siblings because…

…Doran was [as yet merely] betrothed to Lady Mellario of Norvos… (SOS Ty X)

Much as King Charles famously fell in love with his wife at first sight, so did Doran and Mellario fall for one another at first sight—

"I saw Volantis once, on my way to Norvos, where I first met Mellario. The bells were ringing, and the bears danced down the steps. Areo will recall the day."

"I remember," echoed Areo Hotah in his deep voice. "The bears danced and the bells rang, and the prince wore red and gold and orange. My lady asked me who it was who shone so bright."

Prince Doran smiled wanly. (FFC PitT)

—such that It Is Known that he "married for love". (DWD tDT)

Perhaps most obviously, Charles was infamously carried from place to place in a sedan chair due to the pain of his gout, just as Doran transported by litter, unable to walk or even ride.

King Charles was famous for something else, too: a famously enlarged lower jaw. And what do you know, Doran's son Quentyn "heavy jaw" that is "too square", which Doran seems to share, as Arianne says Quentyn both "looks like" and "looks too much like" Doran. (DWD Dae VII; tMM; FFC PitT; WOW Ari I)

Two Doran-Charles connections are more playful. First, Charles's love was Isabella of Portugal. Portugal is, of course, famous for the production of Port, which "coincidentally" could be described rather perfectly as a "sweet heavy strongwine" like the one Doran "loved".

Second, while Charles's wife Isabella gave birth to five children in total, two of her sons died as infants, leaving her with three children who grew to adulthood. This just so happen to prefigure what we're told about Doran's mother:

"I was the oldest," the prince said, "and yet I am the last. After Mors and Olyvar died in their cradles, I gave up hope of brothers. I was nine when Elia came, a squire in service at Salt Shore. … And a year later Oberyn arrived, squalling and kicking." (FFC CotG)

All these allusions to King/Emperor Charles are fascinating. To the extent that some people have speculated that Charles suffered from saturnine gout, much like many believe the Romans did, the parallel could even help reinforce the idea that Doran's gout is saturnine, caused by the lead sugar used to sweeten his wine.

The Point

Neat, huh? For many, parallels and references like this are simply "easter eggs", interesting little nuggets that are "cool" and little else.

Personally, I think they're an inherent part of GRRM's greater project, part of a web of references pointing to in-world truths that ASOIAF has yet to even let us know we don't know. (We are all all Jon Snows to GRRM's Ygritte, here.) The much larger writing from pieces of this writing were extracted, reworked and expanded upon here (a reworking which I have subsequently gone back and overlaid into the original) argues that House Nymeros-Martell has two major players in interesting places that readers do not yet realize are Martells. Specifically, that writing argues that Archmaester Marwyn the Mage is a Martell, and that Elder Brother of Quiet Isle, who has no name and who tells Brienne he "died" at the Trident, is in fact none other than the "late" Prince Lewyn of Dorne, who I argue is Marwyn's younger brother.

And wouldn't you know it? Marwyn has a King Charles-esque "slab of jaw", while Elder Brother has a "heavy jaw", also called a "thick square jaw". (FFC Sam V, B VI) What's more, if I'm correct that Elder Brother is a former prince of Dorne who's now retired to the monastic retreat on Quiet Isle, this sets up a huge parallel to history's most famous gout sufferer, Charles V. How so?

Charles famously abdicated all his titles and retired to a monastery, which is exactly what I argue Doran's uncle Lewyn did after the Battle of the Trident. What's more, Charles famously staged his own death and resurrection at the monastery—

…about six months before his death Charles staged his own funeral, complete with shroud and coffin, after which he "rose out of the coffin, and withdrew to his apartment, full of those awful sentiments, which such a singular solemnity was calculated to inspire." (wikipedia: Charles V, quoting a famous 19th century biography of Charles)

—which is in essence what I believe Lewyn Martell did when he was "reborn" as a monk on Quiet Isle:

"When I died in the Battle of the Trident…" - Elder Brother (FFC B VI)

"I woke here, upon the Quiet Isle. The [old] Elder Brother told me I had washed up on the tide, naked as my name day. I can only think that someone found me in the shallows, stripped me of my armor, boots, and breeches, and pushed me back out into the deeper water. The river did the rest. We are all born naked, so I suppose it was only fitting that I come into my second life the same way. I spent the next ten years in silence." - Elder Brother (FFC B VI)

[obx-snippets]

Chapter 1 ∫ ≈ Rush Hour and New Friends

Summary: Reina finds herself flustered on her first day of work. And the Pogues make quite the first impression on her when she has to take their order.

Warning: light cursing? That’s about it....

Word count: 3.5k

Pairing: JJ Maybank x female!oc

Masterlist

a/n: I probably should have mentioned this in the beginning but this series is a...

SUPER  S L O W   B U R N.  

So enjoy! Feel free to ask to be tagged!

Reina's limbs were growing weak at the speed she was going down the lengthy sidewalk along an empty road. To her dismay, every corner of the island seems to be next to a beach, and the only sound that was able to come at par with the wind muffling her ears was the beating waves. She regretted not bringing her cassette with her; the music would have gone nicely with the Kildare county atmosphere. It might have also helped with her rapid heartbeat, wishing the ocean would just disappear. Nature sprouted from every corner, various people making their way down the opposite sidewalk to shop at different vendors. They seemed relaxed for the most part, but then again, many of them worked for their share, and the mask they wore wasn't fooling Reina. She wore the same one all too often.

Too deep in thought, she nearly missed the sign that read 'the Wreck' and came to a skidding stop, her body slightly jolting forward as she gripped her bike's handlebars. The wind from the ocean brought her hair to blow in her face as she dipped her eyes down to her phone, her GPS reading arrived.

After finding a comfortable place to park her bike, she made her way up a wooden ramp to enter the restaurant's threshold. The closer she got, the slower her pace as she heard a mix of rowdiness coming from inside. It was just her luck that the Wreck was extremely busy and evidently short on staff. Reina heaved around a few people who were waiting in line to be seated. Customers were grumbling among themselves, complaining about how the food had better be the best they've ever tasted if they had to wait that long. It was breakfast hour, and that was when people were the crankiest.

She blew air from her mouth once she made it to the front desk, a few customers muttering how she cut. Smoke from the kitchen just in front of her filled her nostrils, and her eyes brightened with delight. Only two men were hard at work, one with his belly hanging out from his stained white shirt while another tall man with tanned amber skin cutting fruit relentlessly. And with skill.

Reina was enthralled in the dynamic that she hadn't noticed how far she was leaning over the counter to watch everything they were doing. The taller man briefly looked over his shoulder before noticing the ripped paper wedged between her knuckles.

"Hey!" the man called over the spiel going around the crowded restaurant and the clinking of pot being moved about, continuing his cutting on a pineapple. Reina snapped her attention to the man, slightly embarrassed that she had been staring so long. "You Chris and Mina's kid?"

Reina shrugged, "Well technically, stepdaughter but uh--same thing yeah, that's me." she skipped the specifics of it all, not wanting to cause the man's forehead to crease more than it already was. "I uh--I came for the interview..." she looked down at the paper, about to ask about the cooking job when he suddenly advanced toward her.

"You a good cook?" he questioned sternly, almost hopeful. His eyes were desperate, sweat already trickling down his forehead.

"Absolutely," her confident answer came out almost immediately, making the man smile. She would cook all day if it meant not facing the water that was just a few hundred feet away from her. Even over the uproar in the open restaurant, she could still hear the waves taunting her like a dark, menacing laugh.

A toothpick twisting between his lips, he tapped his fingers harshly against the counter, contemplating if he should let a new teenager take part in his kitchen. "Fuck it, get in, kid." he pointed to the other side of the counter for her to enter. He didn't miss the ever-growing smile touching her lips as she hustled around the counter, already pulling her hair into the messiest low bun before washing her hands thoroughly. "Start cracking them eggs and beat 'em'. We got an order waiting at table five."

Reina's whole demeanor changed. She was locked in and moving like a ballerina, careful not to bump into anyone as she veered about to collect seasoning for the eggs. The tall man, which she learned went by the name of Mr. Carrera, watched her intently. All he had to do was tell her the recipe once, and she was already whipping everything up by memory. So much so that she served the waited tables in under an hour. It seemed the frequent customers took notice of the new girl as well; her sweet smile was inviting like she had been doing this her whole life. Reina was known to be more easy-going around adults compared to kids her age. She was the life of the party back in Cali, extremely outgoing and adrenaline-driven. But since the incident, she felt more comfortable being in her own reserved shell.

Mr. Carrera wasn't the only one noticing the girl's natural skill in the kitchen. Kiara Carrera led the way into her father's restaurant, her fellow pogues trailing behind like hungry puppies. Harlow Westwick struggled to keep up as they hadn't waited for her to tie her shoelaces, and she nearly tripped forward before finding her balance again.

"Woof," John B furrowed his brows, sidestepping around a woman as he took in the scene around him, "busy in here today, huh?"

The kids maneuvered their way through the packed dining area, all of their eyes searching for an empty table.

"Hell yeah, it is," Kie responded, her eyebrows stitching together as she caught sight of an unfamiliar raven haired girl in the kitchen.

She knew her dad had set up an interview with someone the other day, but he was never the one to hire and put to work the same day. Her father was very strict about who came in and out of his kitchen and how it was run.

"Found one!" JJ called, running across the floor to get to it before someone else could. He plopped down on a chair, running his ring clad fingers through his blonde locks before placing his red cap backward on his head. Harlow pulled the seat out next to him, flicking his red hat from behind, bringing the boy to quickly catch it before it hit the table.

Kie followed them wordlessly, her eyes still locked on the new cook in the kitchen as curiosity tickled her brain. "Do ya'll know who that is?"

The three boys and Harlow turned to look, all of them shaking their heads in response, a chorus of 'no's' or 'uh huh's' here and there.

Kie pursed her lips, her slender fingers tapping at the wooden chair before she signaled to the guys that she'd be back in a minute and moved towards the kitchen. The girl in question had swiveled around one of the older cooks, trading spots with him as she grabbed a pair of plates off the counter.

"'Scuse me," she smiled with a bow of her head, moving past Kie to put the plates down at one of the tables.

She turned around quickly, wiping a bead of sweat off her forehead with a rag before throwing it back over her shoulder.

"What's your name?" Kie questioned, crossing her arms over her orange halter top.

"Uh, Reina," the girl responded, a little confused by the random girl's straightforward inquiry before hurrying back to the kitchen, not giving Kie a chance to say anything else.

Just as the mystery girl - Reina, disappeared back into the kitchen, her father rounded the corner, giving her a nod to assure that he knew her and her friends were there, and they would get their food as quickly as they could get it out. Kie gave him a small smile in return and went back to her table, not before grabbing a stack of paper cups and a jug of water.

"You find out who the new girl is, Kie?" JJ asked, swiping a fry off an empty table.

"Just that her name's Reina," Kiara shrugged, offering the guys a cup and some water.

John B craned his neck to try and spot the dark-haired girl in the kitchen. "I haven't seen her around before," he pointed out.

"You think she's a kook?" Harlow questions, more so to herself as she noticed the seemingly expensive top.

"Maybe she's new," Pope chimes in his suggestion, his eyes fixated on how quickly she moved about the kitchen like muscle memory.

"Who moves to the Outer Banks?" JJ questioned around a mouthful of fries.

"Ew, gross," Kie muttered as her face scrunched up and finally took a seat next to Pope.

The Pogues chattered amongst themselves as customers were in and out of the restaurant. They were so used to sitting there for hours on end that they hadn't realized a difference in the food until it was displayed in front of them.

JJ was the first to mindlessly get a forkful of food into his mouth, suddenly moaning at the taste, pointing aggressively at his plate,

"This is fucking bomb, dog," he mumbled.

Upon seeing the other boy's reaction to the food, Kiara picked up a few eggs off of her plate and stuffed them into her mouth, "Holy shit," her eyes widened, knowing for a fact that this was not her father's cooking. "this is really good."

"Whoever made these needs to cook everything on the menu," Pope chuckled, diving into his fluffy pancakes lovingly.

Harlow was munching happily on her toast, her light brown hair that had recently been dyed two shades lighter at the tips was pulled back into a ponytail. She didn't bother making any comment, too entranced with the powdered sugar that she gladly licked off her fingers before wiping them off on a napkin.

John B peeped up from his plate, his chewing slowing down when he saw how white powder coated Harlow's pink lips. He rolled his eyes, grabbing a napkin and nearly scaring the girl to death when he wipes her lips with his thumb. "Much obliged, JB," Harlow chimed once he finished.

Reina had just finished washing her hands of the sticky juices of fruit when she noticed the group of kids hadn't been served their drinks. It seemed the Wreck was even short on servers. She huffed to herself, already dreading having to interact with them. She wiped her forehead with the back of her hand before grabbing a paper and pencil that sat on the counter to get their drink order.

"Hey, sorry for the delay on the drinks," Reina apologized when she made it to the table. She grew uncomfortable by how all their eyes bore into her own, and she dropped her attention to the notepad in her hand. "what can I start you off with?"

"I'll take a Sprite, please!" Pope exclaimed, instantly taking notice of the group's surprise in his response.

"Okay," Reina responded, quickly writing down his drink order in her notepad, "for you?"

"I'll take a raspberry ice tea," replied JJ, earning groans from the rest of the table, "with four pumps of the syrup, and only fill the glass halfway with ice so I can stir in my sugar-"

"Oh my gooooood!" groaned Harlow, "why are you so weird, JJ?"

JJ makes a face, "How am I weird? She's asking for my order!"

"Yeah, your drink order, not the secret recipe for a heart attack!"

"You know, what?-"

"What?-"

"Well, maybe if you let me finish my sentence-"

It wasn't long before the entire table erupted in a full-blown argument. Reina stood at the end of their table, brows furrowed, mouth parted. What the fuck..

Her eyes glanced around the packed dining room, her fingers twitching around her pencil. The place was still crowded, and the kitchen seemed to be going up in flames.

"I hate to interrupt, but does anybody else want anything to drink?" Reina spoke over the shouts.

The table quieted immediately, seemingly having forgotten about the girl waiting to take their order. The teens passed around embarrassed looks before the girl who'd come up to Reina earlier spoke.

"Pepsi's are fine."

Reina pursed her lips and gave her a nod before shoving her notepad and pen back into her apron and hurrying away from their table.

"Nice going," Kie snapped, throwing a rolled-up napkin at JJ.

                                                •≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈•

As the day carried by, the restaurant's capacity was waning down to only a few customers an hour. Reina hadn't expected the day to be so eventful. Some adults and teens discerned that she was new to the island and welcomed her before paying her a generous tip. Mr. Carrera was already falling in love with the new girl's cooking and didn't bother telling her she got the job; it was already guaranteed. He told her to have the day to herself tomorrow, and she could come work every other day. Reina would prefer to keep herself busy in the kitchen instead of being forced to explore the island, but she obliged nonetheless.

The seven pm sun was warming Reina's skin as she walked alongside her bike. She decided to take her time heading home, hoping her surprisingly laid back step-parents would say it's too late for her to go to the party at the beach. The sound of the waves crashing onto the shore was enough for her jaw to clench, wishing to drown out the sound. For a moment, the wind picked up around her loose hair, and she instinctively let her fingers ghost over the scars on her neck, flashing her back to that night.

•

"Reina, just jump, bro!"

The California moon was set on full display as the stars were barely distinguishable from the colorful, luminescent lights blinding the party at a rich kids' beach house. After Reina's friends informed her of a party being held in the Hamptons, she couldn't refuse. Not when the boy throwing the party was loaded with cash. School was nearly over, and one last party would surely end the year with a bang.

After a few heavy drinks and five shots, Reina found her unbalanced body standing on the highest point of the house's roof. The cold California night air brushed against her skin, but the warmth from her drunken state didn't let goosebumps make an appearance. Her hair was tousled behind her; space buns atop her head, keeping strands from invading her vision. Her black eyeliner was smudged from the excessive wave of laughter that overcame her a couple of hours before, and her chapstick was secured in her back pocket of her shorts in case of a possible make-out session.

"You think I'll make it?" Reina's crazed question was muffled out over the shouting and cheers coaxing her to jump into the vast pool below, and she let one of her bare feet dangle off the edge.

Her brown eyes caught sight of her sweet friend Vanessa, who was acting as a chaperone for the night, glaring up at her through the rims of her blue glasses. "If you're actually asking for a probability, you're insane!" Vanessa yelled.

"C'mon Nessa!" a brunette boy, Dimitri, came tumbling toward the red-headed girl draping his wet arm over her shoulder. His bare upper body smelled of herb and chlorine as his brown hair was swiped back from the pool. "Quit being a killjoy. The jump isn't even that high."

"It's not the jump I'm worried about, ass wipe." Vanessa growled, shoving the boy away from her, "Do you not see how drunk she is? If she even tried to jump, she'll land face-first on the cement."

Even beyond the overpour of music blasting through her ears, Reina heard Vanessa and saw it as a challenge. "Prepare for landing, ladies, and gentlemen!" Reina warned with a playful salute, loud enough for the crowd of teens below to roar out an applaud, making a clear opening for her in the pool.

"Rae, no! Stop!" Vanessa tried lunging for the house, but Dimitri pulled her back by her arm. "I swear to--"

It was too late. Reina opened her arms wide and let gravity take its toll once she leaped from the edge of the roof. She tucked her body into a ball just when she made contact with the water. The music invaded her eardrums, and the white noise muted all the applause from her life-threatening jump.

A wide grin set on full display on her lips brought ease to Vanessa, knowing she wasn't hurt, and she decided to retire into the house, too angry to say another word to her reckless friend. Reina's buns came undone, and her raven hair was dripping down her shoulder as she swiveled around people to exit the pool.

The crisp air made itself known as it nipped on her skin, but it vanished as soon as Dimitri came crashing toward her. Her black bikini top nearly shifted out of place from the boy's abrupt intrusion, but as this was his party, she would let him do whatever. As long as she could find his wallet in the depth of his pool trunks, she was good to go.

Dimitri separated from her and gripped her by the shoulders. "Badass Reina. Fucking hot," he breathed out sporting a smirk, his breath laced with weed.

Reina shrugged innocently, "The roofs not even that high off the ground. It's nothing."

Dimitri rolled his eyes before trailing his hands down her soaked waist and pulled her close enough for his lips to graze over the shell of her ear. "Wanna do a line? I got some of my buddies sellin' here tonight. My treat?"

Reina bit down on her lips, her audacious nature taking root once again. "Bet you can't last more than two lines," she mumbled with natural confidence. Dimitri lifted a brow and nodded leisurely, taking hold of her small hand, lacing it with his own.

"You're on, Bayard."

•

The honking of an obnoxious horn penetrated her thoughts, and Reina whipped her head around to see a VW van slowing down until it made a complete stop.

She was surprised to see the boy from early in the driver's seat with his arm draped out the window. His unruly brown curls sat atop his head, almost looking like a surfer and frat boy at the same time. His sun-kissed skin was radiant under the North Carolina sun, and she realized how handsome the boy really was.

"Hi again," the boy greeted with a casual wave of his hand that was gripping the steering wheel. Reina flashed a tight-lipped smile, nodding in response. She had only realized the girl from earlier on the passenger seat when she poked her head out from over his shoulder.

"Reina yeah?" the girl asked, hopefulness in her tone that she got the name right. Her mocha eyes were squinted from the bright sun behind Reina.

Reia nodded gradually, kicking the metal bar on her bike to let it park. "Yeah..." her tone came out as a question, puzzled that the random girl would make another appearance.

"I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry for how we acted today; you had enough on your plate and didn't need to deal with us acting like children."

Reina could hear commotion from the back seat due to the girl's tone directed to a friend of hers.

Reina's rigid shoulders relaxed at her words, taking a step closer to the beat-up van as she ran her hand down her arm. "Oh, no, it's okay. I've dealt with worse," she replied dismissively.

"Still," the girl shrugged before a small smile appeared on her lips, "By the way, I'm Kiara, we'll be seeing a lot more of each other now that you're working at the Wreck."

"You work there too?" Reina asked.

"My dad owns the place." It suddenly made sense why the teenagers strutted in the restaurant like they owned the place.

Kiara's hand stuck outside of the window, waiting for Reina to shake it. She did so wearily, an awkward chuckle leaving her mouth.

"This is John B," the boy driving the van sent her a nod, "and in the back are, Pope, JJ, and Harlow." a mix of greetings was heard from the back.

Pope? Odd name.

"Hi," Reina replied softly. The interaction seems like a simple one, but a storm was brewing in Reina's head.

"We're throwing a party down at the Boneyard - you know where that is?" John B asked, toying with the bandana around his wrist.  

Reina pondered for a moment, "Is it that party at the beach I heard about?"

"Kegger!" a male voice corrected her from the back seat, earning an eye roll from Kiara.

"Right yeah, that. Shouldn't be hard to find."

"Great!" Kiara beamed, a bright smile on her face, "you should come! It's gonna be fun!"

Reina parted her lips slightly, not expecting the invitation. "You really don't have to invite me--"

"No, no, seriously. If you're the one who cooked that killer food back at the Wreck, a drink is well deserved." John B licked his lips, waiting for her to respond to his attempt.

Reina wanted to decline almost immediately. But Chris' demand came jogging back to memory. "Make friends!"

"Uh, yeah, okay," Reina nodded nonchalantly as if her brain wasn't exploding at the idea of being so close to the water, "sure."  

Her mind wandered the rest of the walk home, thinking up every horrble possibility. When Reina arrived home, she pulled out her cassete from one of her boxes she was yet to unpack and fell on her bed. Her eyes drifted closed, as she tucked the plastic ear buds in her ear and hummed along to work all day

@pogueszn​ @mdlyncline​ @cordeliascrown​ @acvross-the-universe​ @bricksatanakinswindow​

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #360

“we are the ones that wanna play  /  always wanna go, but you never wanna stay”

"Crawling" or "In The End?" I want to say "Crawling," but I really can't be sure. Both are bomb. Is your window open? No. Monsters Inc. or Shrek? Shrek, my man. What did you last hear that made your jaw drop? Jason's mom died. What is the longest shower or bath you have ever taken? I remember as kids, Nicole and I would sometimes play 'til Mom made us finish because the water was cold by then. As an adult, idk about my longest shower. Do you have a preference of chocolate? Yeah, milk chocolate. Is there anyone you’d like to hug right now? Yeah. Could you ever picture someone writing a biography about you? Definitely not. Do you have a clock in your room? No. Do you shut off the computer when you’re done using it? No, I just close it. Do you usually catch a cold during the winter? No. I just about never get sick. Are you a good multi-tasker? NOOOOOOOOOOO. Do you know any deaf people? If so, is it easy or difficult to have conversations with them? No. Is there a door knocker on your front door? No. Were you ever into Pokémon? Bitch I still am. Do you drink a lot of water? Sigh, no. I'm definitely better than I used to be, though; once upon a time, I literally never drank it unless I was extremely hot and dehydrated. Nowadays, it's usually after I finish my soda for the day that I then only drink water, normally around one full tall cup of it. Do you like fireworks? They're beautiful, but I'm personally against them out of respect for veterans suffering from PTSD as well as animals, because I'm not exactly interested in traumatizing them, either. Is respect given or earned with you? It's given, the way I think it should be. Are you “in the closet” about anything? No. Are you missing any teeth? No. Do you like scrapbooking? I've never gotten into it and am not really interested in doing so. What was or will be your first tattoo? It's a semicolon butterfly on my right wrist. Sometimes I've thought about getting it covered with a cooler design but the same concept; it was literally from Google, and I'm very much not into "sharing" tattoo designs with probably thousands of other people. But, I still think it really is cute, and it's just very special to me as my first, so idk. Do you have any tattoos dedicated to someone special? I have one written in Sara's handwriting inside a heart, and my "ohana" tattoo that I am 100% getting covered was dedicated to my former best friend Colleen. I've talked before about why "ohana" has never really resonated with me, and I just don't like it anymore at all. Thank God it's small. Do you like ghost stories? Oh HELL yeah, lay 'em on me. What was your favorite movie as a kid? The Lion King. Some things never change, ha. Do you own a lot of cookbooks? Mom has looooots, but never uses any. I think her mom gave them to her, so she just keeps 'em. What’s your father’s handwriting like? It looks like every other man's handwriting I've ever seen lol. All the letters are capitalized. Did you wash your hair last time you showered? I wash my hair every time I shower. I have to with it naturally being so oily. What does your shampoo smell like? Coconut. Do you listen to Guns N' Roses? Not a lot, but yeah. They've got some bangers. I actually want "Sweet Child O' Mine" to be the father/daughter dance at my wedding. Have you ever been a bridesmaid? Yeah, at my sister's wedding. What was the last video game that you beat? I replayed Silent Hill 2 a long time ago. Have you ever hyperventilated? Yep. Do you talk in your sleep? I scream in my sleep. Nightmares/terrors are a blast. Whose house did you last sleep over? Sara's. Have you ever been cut by scissors? No. Do you like peaches? It's odd, I like canned sliced peaches, but the actual, full fruit, I don't. I love peach flavored juice, though. Do you enjoy being surrounded by neighbors, or would you be more comfortable someplace secluded? Take me back to the middle of nowhere, please. I'm really not digging being in an actual neighborhood. Is there any sibling rivalry between you and your siblings, if you have any? Not at all. Do you usually root for the good guys or the bad guys? Ha, the baddies... Are you allowed to have pets at your house? We're allowed to have what we currently own and then maybe one dog if Mom finally finds one. Have you ever lived in a trailer park? No. Is there anyone that you know through the internet that you would feel comfortable meeting in person? There's quite a few, actually! Have you ever had a dream involving characters from a game/movie/television show? Yeah. What’s the last thing you wrote down? My signature, I think? Do you remember any phone numbers from years ago that now belong to someone you don’t know? No. Have you ever found something strange in your mailbox? No. Who was the last relative that came to visit you? My half-sister and her husband. Does your bedding all match? Not currently. Are you more comfortable with having short hair or long hair? SHORT. Are you interested in fantasy movies/shows? That's my preference. Have you ever gone whale-watching? No, but that'd be dope. What is something that you have a large amount of? Meerkat plushies. Who is it that you’re in love with? Nobody. Have you ever gotten love and infatuation confused? No. Do you have a steady income? No. Do you take your medications in the morning or at night? Both. Have you ever bought a YouTuber’s merch? No, I wish. :( Do you think oatmeal tastes better when made with water or milk? MILK. I don't eat it with water. When was the last time you ran into someone that you didn’t want to see? Idk. Have you ever tried vlogging, and if yes, did you stick with it? Noooo, I'm completely disinterested in doing that myself. If you go to church, what is your favorite thing about it? I don't go. Even as a kid when Mom made me, I hated it. ^and what is your least favorite thing about it? N/A What do you do for exercise? I don't. .-. I want a pool SO badly to swim and strengthen my legs without having to worry about sweating or collapsing, though. Mom says we don't have space, but we definitely do. Not a lot, but enough. Do you have a birthmark? If yes, what color is it? Yeah, it's just a bit darker than the rest of my skin. Do you need to lose weight? Yes. My sister, Mom, and I very recently started a Weight Watchers subscription and we're all working our asses off to stick to it. Ash has already lost like, 12 pounds (she started before Mom and me), so I'm kinda hopeful. Have you ever had a cat? Growing up, after we took in a stray female, we ended up with a fucking empire of cats, literally around three dozen, I'd say. They were all outdoors, too, and not fixed because we couldn't afford it, so tomcats would come around and, y'know, make matters worse. Eventually, animal control took them all and I was DEVASTATED, but looking back, I understand it was necessary. Anyway, I have one cat now. Indoors and fixed and the prince of my world, haha. Have you ever had a dog? We've had a few. I was born with my dad having a collie named Trigger, but I don't remember her at all; she died of old age I believe when I was very young. Then we briefly had a pup named Angel, but she died due to that disease some puppies just have. We didn't get another dog until Teddy, who was my Christmas present, and he was put to sleep only last year, rest my baby's soul. We also had Dale, Cali, Delilah, and Bentley. Have you ever any other kind of animal? A LOT. I'm probably going to forget some, but we've had hamsters, rats, snakes, fish, a turtle, two lizards, gerbils, guinea pigs... just a lot. Animals have always been very important in my life. Have you ever had a pet rock? HA, yeah. I didn't take it seriously at all, but I had one. When was the last time you painted something? Not since my Painting course in my final college attempt. Do you have any disabilities? Not in the traditional sense, no. My social anxiety though is at such a severity that it majorly infringes upon my ability to do a LOT of things, though. What are five of your favorite stores at the mall? I couldn't name five. Just Hot Topic and Spencer's, really. What season do you want to get married in? AUTUMN. The actual dream situation would be to get married in the snow in a black dress, like can you IMAGINE the pictures, but realistically, it'd be in the fall to avoid the biting cold. Has anyone ever spread lies about you? Yeah. Anything special planned for today? Nope. Blue or green? Blue. How much older/younger than you was the person you lost your virginity to? He's two years older than me. Do you still care for that person? Very much. Can you completely annihilate the first Mario game in less than an hour? I haven't even played the first game. I've never really been into the games to begin with. Did you make it all the way through the Oregon Trail game? Yes! I was OOOOOBSESSEEEEEED as a kid. I would usually play it after school when my mom was an assistant teacher and was finishing up her work for the day. Have you ever contemplated climbing a water tower? Uh, no. Those kind of people got some wanderlust levels that I ain't got, haha. If you have a Facebook, when was the last time you changed your profile picture? It's been a few months. Would you ever marry someone who was lower class? Um, yes? You can deny it all you want, but answering "no" is pretty much the same as saying you'd marry for money. Is there a guy you wish you hadn’t let slip away? ugh Which do you prefer: English or math? English, by light years. Who is a singer that has given you chills? David Draiman's voice in the Disturbed cover of "Sound of Silence" is fucking haunting. Greatest cover of all time. Do you watch America’s Got Talent? I did when Sharon was a judge. Do you think you could win America’s Got Talent? Hell no. What act would you perform in a talent show? uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Have you ever practiced yoga? Yes. I used to be BANGIN at it. What is your favorite thing to buy at the Farmer’s Market? Fruit! Do you get carsickness? No. What color is the rim of your full-length mirror? Black. What is your state’s bird (if you live in the US)? Cardinal. Which style of wedding dress is your favorite? I'm a sucker for ballgown dresses. Do you enjoy editing videos? I used to love it, for many many years. Now, I just don't have the dedication or motivation to. Do you enjoy editing photos? Yes. If you gave birth, do you think you would want it filmed? Um, absolutely not. I would have NO desire to look back on me shrieking my lungs out and essentially dying. I handle abdominal pain very poorly, so I've got a goooood feeling that if I actually wanted to have kids, I'd be that woman screeching like a banshee.

[mostlyscience]

Thirsty Thursday Vol.2 – Home brewing with a purpose

I’ve dived head first into home brew, specifically making cider. This rejuvenated interest fits in perfect as a hobby that I can nerd out over. By nerding out, I mean experimenting with different recipes and aspects of the process. I can definitely go a bit overboard, my wife can confirm, from the level of sanitation to the precise measurements and procedures during certain steps. Can you blame me? I work in a highly controlled environment, with precise procedures and measurements to ensure we give our experiment the highest probability of success. With that frame of thinking, I’ve gone through 2 experiments to find recipes I liked and procedures that would lead to the best cider. I’ll go into the details of each experiment below and talk about some of my next steps.

Brew 1 – Testing the process and tested some tea flavoring

After the primary fermentation, my alcohol content (9.2% ABV) was surprising. After taking this reading, I started bottling. Overall the recipes were good, but could’ve been better. I was able to get some good carbonation, but the taste was a bit dry and wasn’t very sweet. My favorite recipe was ginger lemon tea at a high concentration. To improve, I needed to shorten the fermentation, add a sugar alternative, and go for higher tea volumes.

Brew 2 – Battle of the yeasts and more flavor experiments

This time I went for a larger amount of cider, making two carboys. Prior to bottling I did everything the same, except I shortened the time (14 days) and used a different yeast (English Cider) for the additional carboy. Both came in at the same alcohol content after 14 days (8.1% ABV). At bottling, I added Erythritol (sugar alternative) along with the dextrose (sugar). Yeast can’t use the sugar alternative for energy, so this is a cheat to sweeten the cider. For the new recipe, I overlapped my previous ginger lemon tea concentrations and went to even higher levels. I also experimented with different concentrations of grapefruit juice, and even had a combo with the ginger lemon tea and grapefruit. This time the cider was much sweeter, but didn’t quite have the carbonation I was looking for. This was probably due to the Erythritol and a shorter bottling period (7 days). The clear winner was anything with grapefruit juice, as it was the most carbonated and had the best flavor.  I will definitely be experiencing with more juice in future brews.

After much internal deliberation, I’ll be working on the process itself in upcoming batches. BUT I’ll probably throw in some seasonal fruits to make it more interesting.

-          Sonico

Work flow for my first fermentation.

The cider starter (OG – 1.070)

1.Heated up a half gallon of apple cider (Sprouts) in a large pot and dissolved brown sugar (1 cup).

2.Poured cider into a gallon bottle (carboy) and added raisins (5), cinnamon sticks (2), and cloves (3).

3.Allowed cider to cool for about 10 minutes, and added remaining cider.

4.Add Yeast (Champagne yeast from White Labs), cap and shake.

5.Uncap, add airlock and cover with a blanket.

Primary fermentation

1.The airlock started to bubble after the first hour.

2.I shook the carboy once a day for the first 5 days.

Bottling (FG – 1.000, 9.2% ABV)

1.After 25 days, I started the bottling process and tried a natural carbonation where the yeast produces CO2 from consuming sugar. This can essentially create bottle bombs if your yeast is still really active, so be careful!

2.At this point, I added dextrose (0.5 tsp) to each bottle and various quantities of ginger lemon and ginger lime tea along with the cider.

Tasting

1.After 14 days, it was time to test the recipes!

[romanticwitchcottage-blog]

*skip story if you just want the tips*

*REMEMBER all successful and HEALTHY (key distinction) weightloss is about self-love and harmony with your body that allows you to live and laugh every day*

It may sound crude, but there is no one that knows the ins and outs of losing weight as someone who has taken the stuff to the extreme; at least we got a full basket of tips and tricks and if you’re smart enough you will apply the I will give in this post in a healthy way, without going too far and finding yourself weighting a celery stick on a Friday night. I had anorexia (had to sort out some childhood trauma in one way or another, I guess), still quite underweight but not to the point where people look at me and feel terrified, more at a point where everyone has the tendency to offer me to eat something. For now I am comfortable with this weight; I am able to run, draw, have fun with friends, finish my uni degree and everything else that makes life awesome. I will probably have to put on some more kg when I will want to become pregnant, but that’s something else. What I actually wanted to say is that I lost weight in a surprisingly; a-typical healthy way, even though I just did it for too long so to say, which is why I became underweight. So here are my tips - it’s up to the reader to balance them out and make sure to at least eat enough cal to cover bmr and some more depending on your activity level. No one, NO ONE will be better off sticking to 200 cal a day, including your metabolism darlings.

YES to multiple small meals a day. From an apple to a salad with some olives to some pieces of tofy to some beans on lettuce boats to yoghurt with chia seeds and natural sweetener - spread your meals out to never ever feel nauseous and dizzy, but just comfortable half-full, but satiated.

In between, have water, barley/chicoree coffee and TEA. Literally invest in a hyge thermoscan and carry it around, with some almond milk and/or stevia. For what’s it worth, become a tea expert!!! Read up on ALLLL different types of tea and all the amazing benefits and their different taste and smell - learn from the Chinese way of seeing tea as something more than just a cuppa. Little tip: Pu-erh tea to quite frankly combat appetite when it’s not physical but emotional: I see this tea as sort of a threshold, once you consistently drink it, your body will have to truly be hungry to get hunger cues, otherwise it just tempers any kind of craving. Same goes for abovementiones barley coffee, such a gem I kid you not!!!

Start the day with at least a 10-20 min workout right in your room, then a shower with nice-smelling shampoo, put some perfume on, put some music on… dance around a bit…. Try on beautiful clothes… I noticed that when the day starts right with some tiny acts of self-love and pampering, I am bound to smile till I go back to bed in the evening!

B-12 to make sure your metabolism is on point!!!!! Biotin for healthy hair, iron for energy levels… find out what is lacking in you feeling and looking as wonderful as you deserve and see how food groups and supplements can help you out.

With each of your meals, please try to include some clean protein. It is proven to be the most satieting macro nutrient and does wonders for your hair, skin, and muscles. I typically LIVE for some delicious pieces of tofu with nori-sheets for those fish cravings, ADORE tempeh, edamame, pieces of seitan with some fresh salad… Also, throughout the day, DO NOT FORGET about healthy fats!!!! They are CRUCIAL to your well-being!!!! Have some olives with your massive salad! 2-3 walnuts with the carrot snacking!!! ⅓ of an avocado on a bed of spinach and some kidney beans - YUMM and your skin and reproductive organs will say thank you sweety

When it comes to candy: stevia-sweetened liquorice drops somehow are amazing at satisfying weird cravings and making you feel warm inside.

As you can probably already tell: I am all about the healthy eating. You are working with a calorie-deficit, make sure your body can at least count on you being very aware of what it needs in terms of nutrients, vitamins, elements. Sure supplements are fine but you can’t replace a healthy, balanced diet with some pills boo! Have your veggies, your proteins, some fats, fresh fruit for breakfast.

Invest in ALL the spicies, herbs, nutritional yeast (parmezan CHEESE, anyone?), spirulina, balsamic vinegar, dried mushrooms - whatever makes your healthy food tasty without damage to your calorie-count.

Broth soups EVERYWHERE before savory meals, fills you up, calms you down and just generally cozy to drink wrapped up in a blanket lol.

Meals/drinks I love to have: nori sheets wrapping tofu and veggies; cauliflower rice with soy-yoghurt tzatzki; raw beet salad in vinegar and some seitan ministeaks on the cide, split peas soup, fresh fruit salad with some crumbled plain uncooked tofu for breakfast, sweet carrots with walnuts, agar-agar cacao jelly topped with berries; tempeh on a bed of spinach and tomatoes; mushrooms IN EVERY FORM - dried onea are delicious snacks; cardamon tea with almond milk and stevia…. The list of healthy tasty nourishing stuff goes on and on…. Find out what makes YOUR tastebuds and waistline happy; this is a quest!!! Some of the tricks you will keep forever to always maintain a healthy; thin figure - so invest time! Research the net!!!

Out of the window go (for now, maybe?): all processed things. Including spaghetti, white rice, bread of all kinds, yes - even that thin-flaked oatmeal. No need for that, replace - if the craving hits TOO HARD to ignore, with a little cup of whole-grain cooked buckwheat, quinoa, black/dark rice; beans, lentils…

For those of us with a sweet-tooth: AGAR AGAR powder. You take natural sweetener, take some fruity tea/zero cal sirup/juice/cacao powder, add water, some aroma’s, you boil all of that like you would boil broth, once its boiling add a tbsp of agar-agar for approx. a liter of the magic stuff and let it cool down. ENDLESS MIXING POSSIBILITIES FOR almost no-cal jello - top with fruits and joghurt if you make it your breakfast/dessert. DELICIOUS. For the non-vegans: gelatin will do the same.

Favorite crisps-recipe: head of iceberg lettuce with nitritional yeast, onion&garlic powder and paprika. Crunchy, spicy, fresh, have some sparkling water on the side with a bit of juice…. Loooooveeeee it. IN GENERAL one of your main tasks now is to find low-cal options that mimic the sensation of your favorite calorie-bombing meals/snacks. Break the system indeed babes!!!!!

(Soy-)yoghurt, yoghurt, yoghurt; the secret weapon of all those thin French women. Crumble in some tofu and you got yourself some bad-ass cottage cheese to put on peppers and tomatoes

Sleep. For heaven’s sake, try to get enough sleep. A large part of hunger cues are truly masking for dehydration and sleep deficit. Learn to read your wonderful body’s signals!!!!😴

[paladinsheadcanons]

Can’t remember if this was asked before but what is every champions favourite type of alcoholic drink? Specific to each champion? Even the non humans lol

Hello, it is I, your resident alcoholic at your service. Now, this would show stuff like bad drinking habits, so a disclaimer/warning: drink responsibly. I mean it. If you drink for the first few times, always drink with someone you trust!! 

I’m sorry for my inactivity, thesis has been very time-grabbing. It’s done now, so here I am! 

- Mod Ash 

Makoa: He has this specific recipe for a scorpion bowl cocktail he likes. It is not that alcoholic, but he likes sitting by the beach or by the view of a forest while he finishes his drink. Drinking time is mostly for himself, and to think about the day while he unwinds and enjoys a smooth cocktail. 

Fernando: Wine, definitely. Helps him sleep. He makes his own sangria with fruits and all if he’s feeling fancy, and he drinks it like it’s just juice, with ice and straw and all. He can drink this in broad daylight and he will act like it’s iced tea. 

Ruckus: He doesn’t drink much. But when he does, he sticks to brandy, as it’s smooth, but hits hard fast. Though he would rather drink with company, so he just kinda does forced small talk with Bolt as he drowns his sorrows away.

Barik: He has a large batch of fruit punch in his refrigerator that he refills his jug with. He sneakily adds more wine before stashing it away. He drinks it like anyone would iced tea, and he is very protective and possessive of his stash. His liking of the spiked fruit punch is a little concerning, but they value their lives over a sip of it. 

Ash: Vodka. She will stare you at the eye while she drinks it straight from the bottle. Also whiskey. She won’t care if it’s expensive, if she likes it, she will finish the bottle in one go. She has a high alcohol tolerance, which sort of lets her drink as she please when she’s bummed…. which is often. 

Torvald: Doesn’t drink a lot, so he sticks to spiked versions of non-alcoholic drinks, like a spiked iced tea or ginger ale. He often drinks with friends, but he does like staying sober, so he sticks to small ratios of the alcohol with the rest of the drink. 

Inara: Dislikes drinking. May have tried those blended 3% stuff that tastes like softdrinks or lemonade once, but she also didn’t like the taste of that. Will drink lemonade or fruit juice when everyone else is drinking. A lot of people have fooled her into drinking fruit punch with wine in them but it nothing happened.

Drogoz: Rum. The darker the rum, the better. Will add random crap to it to make it “spicier,” and to some people, his drinks will taste like alcoholic hot sauce. He doesn’t mind, he doesn’t really like people drinking his stuff, anyway. 

Bomb King: He can’t drink any human drink. However, he likes fooling people with drinking oil or something similar, or just chugging plain water down his robot gullet. 

Cassie: A good, classic blended Cosmopolitan. She likes it so much that she often buys non-alcoholic, powdered iced tea versions of it, which she drinks almost all the time. Sugar gets her going, if not an amazing cocktail.

Lian: Also wine, however she’s slightly pickier with her wine. She will only drink wine that is at least five years old, and will often opt for slightly sweeter variants like fruit wine. She drinks way too often for it to be healthy, however. 

Kinessa: Doesn’t drink much. However, when she does, she opts for sweeter stuff, like honey mead. When she’s not drinking, she’d immediately get any kind of coffee, no matter the kind or blend or if it has sugar or not. Coffee mead is a dangerous drink for her. 

Sha Lin: Classic brandy! He drinks it sometimes while reading or doing something passive before he goes to bed, as something to help him sleep. He doesn’t drink much outside the house, he likes being extra and drinking while in a bathtub with soaks. 

Viktor: He will go straight for really cheap gin that tastes like rubbing alcohol. He got too used to it and now he can’t drink anything else. He drinks half a bottle when he’s staying up late, then drinks the rest when he gets home. 

Tyra: She thinks she’s more refined, with her choices being scotch and very specific whiskey. When she orders a dry martini (or anything), she will make up hilariously specific instructions like “stir it for ten seconds while glancing at an unopened bottle” or “kiss the lemon peel before you garnish it on the glass.” 

Willo: The cuter the drink and the sweeter it is, the better, no matter what it is. She will sometimes shove novelty store toys in her drink, and will add fruit juices or food color to strong drinks to at least make it look a cuter color. Sure, her additions may not change the taste of her drink, but it will make the experience better. 

Evie: She does not really care about her drink, whether it is alcoholic or not. She will probably add vodka to everything to give it a kick, mostly when she feels like it. She’s taken a liking to hard lemonades.

Skye: Surprisingly does not drink much, however she would surprise people with drinking heavy drinks without breaking a sweat or getting close to drunk. It’s a useful skill to have. When she’s off-duty she prefers being sober, and only drinks flavored beer to get her tired enough to sleep. 

Androxus: He likes trying to get himself as wasted as possible. It is becoming quite a challenge. However being cursed gave him different tastebuds too, so he would often drink tons of Long Island iced teas before he feels something. He never gets as drunk as he wishes but getting closer is satisfying enough. 

Buck: He’s a huge fan of ginger ale mixed with beer! He often doesn’t really like to get drunk, as alcoholism is a thing he is trying to avoid and change. He wears off his alcoholism by changing the ratio everyday, and it works out fine for him. Eventually he just uses iced teas and lemonades as substitute for his everyday beer. 

Maeve: She does not drink much, however will not turn down a drink offered to her. However, she still prefers stealing her liquor, and she once got in trouble once for stealing a bottle of ceremonial wine and drinking it all in one go. 

Zhin: Likes more “exotic” or “local” variants of his liquor, like sake or arrack. He has a very bad alcohol tolerance despite his drinking frequency, and often drinks in places he shouldn’t be drunk in, which gets worse when he’s upset about something. 

Lex: He likes a good old fashioned best. If ever, he usually opts for simpler drinks like gin and tonic or a martini. He thinks buying liquor in places that isn’t a bar is blasphemy and he will judge you for it. He is also very specific with the way his martini is prepared.

Mal’Damba: He likes expensive drinks a lot, because he doesn’t really partake in alcoholic drinks often. His favorite is a penicillin cocktail with this very expensive scotch with very fancy ice and stuff, and it would take him two hours to finish one because he would spend the time thinking. 

Pip: He would usually accidentally drink his own concoctions when he’s too tired. Sometimes it doesn’t do much, sometimes it does make him dizzy. He once accidentally mixed beer with one of his potions and it became a quick favorite of his, but he has no idea of its side effects. He will find out in ten years probably. 

Grover: Liquor is bad for trees. He was once watered with whiskey. When offered he would take lemonade or juice. He’s surprisingly not picky and wold take anything offered to him, even though it is probably not the best idea. After getting “drunk” he would fall asleep faster, so he would usually “drink” if he’s about to hibernate. 

Grohk: Will drink anything. Will eat anything. Sadly, he gets too drunk when he drinks too much. Lately he has taken a liking to Irish coffees, which does numbers to his energy and his posture. It is still not a good idea to have him drink, especially if it is coffee and liquor at the same time. 

Seris: Wine? Wine. She likes the aesthetic. It doesn’t do much for her, however, she just drinks it around people to look cool or to intimidate. She definitely likes the taste is becoming a connoisseur herself. When alone, she’d opt for a harder whiskey or stronger wines. It doesn’t do anything, but she can always pretend. 

Ying: Usually sticks to mudshakes because they’re sweet and barely alcoholic. It’s 10% alcohol but it doesn’t matter. She also likes whiskey cakes and other alcoholic desserts in lieu of a drink, because oftentimes she just doesn’t feel like looking like she went through seven hells, she has to look cute while de-stressing. 

Jenos: He would “drink” that futuristic alcohol air from a bottle, because he thinks drinking is all about the experience and having fun with it. He just goes on to find more absurd ways of getting drunk, somewhat not realizing he probably won’t get close to tipsy. 

Strix: He is still a bit of a country man, so he still favors moonshine. But not just any moonshine. Moonshine cherries. He likes moonshine-soaked fruit. Moonshine-anything. He doesn’t have the tolerance for it, however. 

Talus: He’s a child for Christ’s sake, he’s not drinking. He just likes fruit juice and hot chocolate maybe. Some others did try to hand him beer, though, with… catastrophic results. I’ll leave you to guess what happened. 

Terminus: “Do I still give a crap,” he says, as he finishes a bottle of absinthe. Does he still care? He doesn’t. He will drink the entire bottle if he wants, nothing will happen, it’s just like water to him. What do you expect, he’s a rock person. 

Vivian: She likes drinking, but she doesn’t like getting drunk, so she usually just sticks to a rum and coke. She would change the ratio of run and cola depending on how annoyed she is with everyone around her. 

Moji: She doesn’t really drink much, however she’s down for a mean milkshake. The wilder the better. Would often add stuff that’s not really supposed to belong there, like syrup, or food coloring, or charcoal. 

Khan: He has a flask of… stuff hidden in his armor somewhere. What is in it? Even he doesn’t know. He usually fills it with something and fill it up with something else the next day without cleaning it out, resulting in a weird new cocktail everyday that he will chug in public without shame. 

[mellowgirlblog-blog]

The Denver Central Market, a review from a local

The Denver Central Market is an eclectic and engaging collection of shops and dining choices that I know you’ll love! Here’s a review and a few must-try items, all hand-picked by me, a Colorado native!

Denver has such a unique, small-town vibe to it while. Yet we've still got diverse food and entertainment options. Last week my hubby and I explored another really cool spot, The Denver Central Market, and I want to share my findings with you!

In the heart of RiNo (River North Art District, for those not in the know) on the corner of 27th and Larimer, The Denver Central Market calls itself a "food hall." It's filled with local vendors selling delicious foods and desserts, plus a really fantastic bar.

If you're a local and you haven't been, you gotta check this out right now! And if you're planning a trip to Denver, I highly recommend coming here. It has a cool vibe, a great location, and gourmet food at a reasonable price.

What we love about food halls, cafeterias, or food courts is that everyone can get what they want. There are several in Denver (Avanti being an honorable mention in the category). I'm sure I'll write about all of them at some point because of my food obsession, but this one just has something special about it. It feels like you've stumbled onto something old and unknown, even though it is very critically acclaimed. There really is something for everyone. I could just chill out here for a few hours. If you want to make a day of it, there's a  lot of very beautiful street art on this block too. You could grab coffee at The Market, then walk around a little, and come back for lunch! Especially if you're visiting Denver on vacation this summer; it would make for a fun day.

We've had several different things from several different places, but my absolute favorite food item was the honey and feta cheese plate from Culture Meat & Cheese. Just look at how gorgeous this is! If you want to treat yourself, take a minute to slow down and completely enjoy this perfect dish. Even the flowers taste amazing. The sweet honey paired with the creamy feta and crunchy nuts is a perfect summertime treat. It's indulgent but still refreshing. I love the combo of feta and honey anywhere I can get it, but this is one of my favorites!

  If you want to set up an indulgent, self care day, you could easily stock up here and take some treats home. The Local Butcher is a really cool spot. Their gourmet, all-beef hotdogs are only $1 each, and are really excellent. We brought some home and smoked them!

My sweet husband also brought me gorgeous chocolates from Temper. They looked like tiny works of art. Chocolate isn't my favorite thing, but these flavors were bomb. They hold up to their beauty, that's for sure. Their flavors rotate so there's always something new (and gorgeous) to sample.

Although the Denver Central Market offers a lot of dessert options, High Point Creamery ice cream is probably the best. My favorite flavor there is their brown sugar and cinnamon. It's not too sweet and the perfect texture, probably because they make all their ice cream from scratch! They have lots of other fun things to try too, like egg creams and ice cream sandwiches.

Then, to finish it all off, we got drinks at Curio. I ordered the Fancy Pants, which has vodka, lime juice, sugar, sparkling wine, and (best of all) pomegranate popping pearls. The pomegranate pearls provide this amazing  burst of fruit flavor in the sweet sparkling wine. It may be one of the best drinks I've ever had; I liked it that much. Let's hope they never take this off the menu. I can't wait to go back and try it again!

All in all, the Denver Central Market is a perfect destination no matter what you want to do this weekend. Even with all our exploring we didn't try half of the shops there! Kids would love the ice cream, adults will love the cocktails. It made for a lovely date, but like I said, I also think it's great if you're visiting and want to eat like a local. Get a taste of the best of Colorado! I hope you all enjoy the Denver Central Market as much as I do!

I'm excited to continue sharing my adventures around Colorado (and other places we've traveled). What's on your summer vacation lists? Any cool spots in Denver you've been to? I'd love to hear, we're always looking for new things to do! Don't forget to share, like, and follow! Thanks for reading, mellow girls!

[edgewaterfarmcsa]

CSA WEEK 6

P I C K L I S T

CABBAGE - POTATOES - BLUEBERRIES - TOMATOES (RED & HEIRLOOM) - THAI BASIL - CELERY - BOK CHOY - SUMMER SQUASH - ZUCCHINI - LITTLE CUCUMBERS - CILANTRO - GARLIC - JALAPENO

This week was met with more rain- aka a constant reminder, that it's time for new boots.  Because of the rain crops like your bok choy are currently bathing in standing water.  The bugs are pumped, especially those attracted to wet conditions (hence the little spots on said bok choy).  To be perfectly honest with all of you, it sucks.  YES the fields are wet, and yes the fields need moisture, but goodness gracious the crops will soon drown and rot.  I’m not entirely bummed out just yet, the 10 day forecast looks promising enough.  But let it be known that every drop of rain that comes out of that sky right now is met with an extreme grunt made by yours truly- and probably every other farmer in our region.  

Moving on from the weather (is that even possible??!) The flower fields are exploding with color as we usher in Anne & Mrs. T’s  cut flower CSA.  For those that pick up at the farmstand, you can catch a glimpse of the zinnia field from 12A and it is GLORIOUS. 

In other field reports- mesh lining was added to the tomato greenhouses to frustrate pests looking to enter, THE GREAT ANNUAL GARLIC HARVEST came and went- pretty lackluster harvest due to it not being that fun to pull garlic when the earth is so heavy with moisture (but we still love our garlic crop!!), blueberry season has begun, the heirloom tomatoes are finally catching up with the red tomatoes,  and if we haven't already entered peak summer harvesting and eating, we are getting pretty close to it.  

PRO TIPS:

Your tomatoes:  do you see cracks in your tomatoes?! Great! that means they are ripe for the eating.  Do not sleep on this fruit.  Eat asap, nothing beats a juice ripe just picked tomato in the summertime.  

Thai basil, cilantro, etc… These veggies with the listed herbs are pretty much begging to be incorporated into a vietnamese style rice noodle bowl and or fresh spring rolls.  I am running out of room here for recipes, so give it a google if you need inspo.  

Fried garlic chips 

from my new fave cook book, 

BURMA SUPERSTAR: ADDICTIVE RECIPES FROM THE CROSSROADS OF SOUTHEAST ASIA

by Desmond Tan and Kate Leahy

Makes about ⅓ cup fried garlic and about ½ cup garlic oil

Ingredients:

½ cup thinly sliced fresh garlic

½ cup canola oil (though i used olive oil and it turned out great)

Line a heat proof bowl with a strainer.  Line a plate with paper towels.  In a wok or small saucepan, heat the oil over medium heat for a minute or two (the oil shouldnt be scorching hot).  Add the garlic and gently stir into the oil.  When bubbles start to form rapidly around the garlic, decrease the heat to low and cook, stirring often, until the garlic is an even golden color and nearly completely crisp, about 3 minutes.  If the garlic starts to darken too quickly, remove it from the heat and let it continue to fry in the oil.  If the garlic needs more time to fry, return the wok to low heat and continue to fry.  

Pour the contents of the wok into the strainer lined bowl.  Lift the strainer up and shake off of the excess oil.  Scatter the garlic onto the lined plate.  The garlic should crisp up as it cools.  The chips can be stored in an airtight container at room temperature for 1 month.  Stor the oil in fridge for upto 6 months.  

Ginger salad

Again, from my new fave cook book, 

BURMA SUPERSTAR: ADDICTIVE RECIPES FROM THE CROSSROADS OF SOUTHEAST ASIA

by Desmond Tan and Kate Leahy

JENNY’S NOTE: I KNOW I KNOW, there is no ginger in your box this week to pickle- and also no romaine lettuce, BUT make do with what you DO have.  For example i used pickled radishes instead of the pickled ginger and this Summer salad remained so bomb.  It’s basically all I want to eat now, you’re welcome.  ALSO I think the THAI BASIL would be awesome in this- give it a shot.  

4 cups thinly sliced romaine lettuce

1 ½ cups shredded cabbage

3 heaping tablespoons pickled ginger, chopped

2 tablespoons fried garlic chips

3 tablespoons fried yellow split peas

3 tablespoons cilantro

2 tablespoons sunflower seeds

2 tablespoons coarsely chopped toasted peanuts

2 tablespoons minced jalapenos

1 tablespoon sesame seeds

1 ½ tablespoons toasted chickpea flour

1 ½ tablespoon onion oil 

2 tablespoon juice from the ginger pickling liquid

2 teaspoon fish sauce

¾ teaspoon salt

1 lime or lemon cut into wedges

In a salad bowl, combine the lettuce, cabbage, pickled ginger, fried garlic, split peas, cilantro, sunflower seeds, peanuts, jalapenos, and sesame seeds.  Sprinkle chickpea flour over the top and drizzle with oil and pickling liquid.  Add the fish sauce and salt (use more salt if not using fish sauce).  Squeeze 1 or 2 lime wedges over the top.  Using your hands, mix well and taste, adding more salt or lime juice if needed. 

JENNY’S NOTE: CHOP AND ADD YOUR CELERY HERE… OR USE IT in ANY OTHER RENDITION OF POTATO SALAD 

 4 pounds potatoes 

1 3/4 cups Greek yogurt (I used full-fat but I think other fat levels would work)

1/4 cup sour cream

2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice (from half a big lemon)

1 tablespoon white wine vinegar

1 tablespoon minced fresh dill

1 medium garlic clove, minced

2 teaspoons kosher salt (I use Diamond brand; use less if you use another, read why here)

Freshly ground black pepper

1 cucumber (1 pound), unpeeled but quartered lengthwise, seeds removed

More ideas for additions: Crumbled feta, chopped green olives, chopped fresh mint leaves or a minced hot chile

In a medium pot, cover your potatoes with cold water and bring them to a boil over high heat. Once boiling, reduce heat to medium-high and let potatoes simmer until tender enough that they can be pierced easily with a skewer or slim knife. I find that small potatoes tend to be done in roughly 30 minutes from the time I put them on the stove cold, but it’s best to start checking 5 to 10 minutes sooner. Drain potatoes and let them cool completely. (This is a great step to do ahead, as it seems to take potatoes forever to cool. If you’re really in a rush, spread them on a tray and pop them in the freezer for 10 minutes.)

Meanwhile, in the bottom of a large bowl, stir together yogurt, sour cream, lemon juice, vinegar, dill, garlic, salt and lots of freshly ground black pepper.

Grate the cucumber on a box grater (or in your food processor’s shredding blade, if you like to get things done in one hundredth of the time) and try to remove some of the excess by squeezing out handfuls, pressing it in a mesh sieve with a spoon or wringing it in a square of cheesecloth or a lint-free dishtowel. Add to yogurt mixture.

Once potatoes are cool, cut tiny ones into quarters or larger ones into generous chunks. Add to cucumbers and yogurt and stir to coat. Add any extra ingredients desired. Adjust seasonings to taste. Either eat immediately or keep in the fridge for up to three days.