#probably something i dont remember from my bio moms if i had to guess

[thelaughingmerman]

When I was a kid like first grade I was a clueless little dork. Anyway the school was mostly trailers so when there were tornado warnings we'd all pile into the office, which was an old house and not much better. One time we all piled in and hid and one of my classmates was crying and, Benny pre excessive anxiety, was like "It's OK it's just a drill were ok!" And I told my mom about it later and she was like no. There was actively a tornado on the ground. You were not being pelted with raindrops on the way to the office, that was hail.

[dear-yandere]

—ask collection!

a collection of mostly very old chats and sweet asks that i never got around to answering! thanks for the patience and love!! 

beware, fairly long post... woops....

chat asks.

darling: Eu-jin is best boy. Change my mind.

vanya: i am physically incapable of fulfilling that request, how dare you do that to me... i’m biased since he’s my own oc, but i would die for my (very best) boy eu-jin... who can resist such a gentle yandere that loves you so whole-heartedly?

that reminds me! he’s actually based off of kuroyuki and gekkamaru from the otome nightshade, so if you want similar characters by any chance, do check them and the game out ♡

darling: I was watching the dub for Part 5 of JoJo's Bizarre adventure yesterday...Mista called himself Daddy and I like- sdfghjfgsdhnhnmj!! My heart can't take this--

vanya: WAIT HE DID???? i’m not even big on daddy kink and reading that made me go 😳 this is vital information to know... what episode was this??? for research purposes, of course. gotta perfect my yan! mista, after all~...

darling: for yandere songs, have you heard of the major to minor covers by chase holfelder :O? the way he delivers the lyrics in some songs (betty, all i want for christmas), added with the key changes to minor, is really fantastic, and gives a stalker-ish vibe imo! and he's a really good singer in general

vanya: i have!! a good chunk of them are actually on my personal yandere playlist, so i end up hearing them frequently when i’m writing!! i haven’t been keeping up with his uploads recently, so ‘betty’ is completely new to me and just, wow???????????? this man is an absolute god send for us “romantic” horror fans... ♡

this ask gave me such a lovely idea, though, darling: assigning yandere types/mbti based off each of chase’s minor key covers. i think i’ll do that just for you. ♡

darling @blossomiich​: I reread some of your old character interaction asks and saw the one with Jotaro hugging his Darling after a panic attack and the elephant seal plush reminded me of the iconic C H O N K Y ringed seal plushie that was kinda trending and I can totally imagine Jotaro having one of those >w< that's so adorable!

vanya: i honestly don’t remember that interaction, but then again i don’t remember most things hmghng so i looked it up and

j...just imagine star plat hogging it and not letting joot cuddle with it 🥺 the duality of man...thank you for this cute image...

darling: Umm, sorry for asking this. I'm just curious because of your bio language in your header. Are you Chinese too, perhaps?

vanya: no worries!! i’m mixed guyanese (indian, chinese, & possibly black and/or portuguese), but my family only celebrates (or rather, acknowledges?) our indian descent, since the majority of our family is predominantly east indian. 

my header is actually a quote from a danmei novel (and one of my all-time favorite fandoms), tiān guān cì fú (heaven’s official blessing)!

darling genki stan anon: Omg you're writing for free now, i didn't expect that one lol. It's a cute show innit? Not a nagi stan but I feel like nagisa has that kinda unsnapped personality that would make him peak delusional yandere material lolol like oikawa but less threatening and without his head being up his own ass 😂. Hope you're doing well!! -gsa

Gdjsjs im such a fool, i think my last ask said something about not thinking you'd write for free when i literally just pointed out kisumi on your sideblog LMAO my bad 😅 😂 also ill hold back on the gen chan requests because ive already asked so many in the past! Thank you though 🥺. Also feel free not to post this, it can just dip into my onesided chats with my lil flower 💐 so long as you receive them im fine 😌 -genki stan anon

vanya: nagisa isn’t my favorite (kisumi is), but gods if he wouldn’t make a great yandere. honestly, out of the iwatobi boys, nagi is probably the most unhinged. i wouldn’t peg him as delusional, at least not at first; i think he’s very lucid and knows exactly what he wants and how to manipulate people in order to get it!!! kisumi is fairly similar now that i think about it... i might... have a type...

please feel free to send in gen-chan requests whenever you want!!!! i’m kinda super asocial, so it’ll take me a while to answer, but i love getting asks from you since you’re so sweet and excitable!!! your little flower reads and cherishes them all!! 🥺

also darling genki stan anon: Sorry for spamming you with asks hdjkdks, u dont even need to reply im just kinda brain empty venting here whether you recieve them or not 😂 i just needed to confess that while yes i am #1 gen simp, and he is undoubtedly my fave oc of yours but that Ilya tentacle smut had me very much so highkey kinda 👀, had to re read the genki oral style drabble to bring my head back. He dont even need to worry about luca bc that man a thot. I think therin is a thot too but like lowkey, a classy thót -gsa

vanya: omg i’ve kept this one for forever mnmghngh i might’ve even answered at some other point, now that i think about it... but i just 🥺 gosh i hope i find my muse soon, because i really wanna write you a genki fic 🥺 hhhh

the ilya tentacle smut was so in character for that boy... i have no clue how to write monsters, much less tentacles, but i’d honestly do anything for him 🙏 kinky russian boy...

therin is definitely a classy thot, the kind that only bangs the finest concubines then turns around and slut shames you for banging the very same prostitutes gbfmngnfg rules don’t apply to him, in his kingdom...wish that were me tbh ✊😔

sweet asks.

darling one: i've read almost all of your dazai and chuuya fics and i love them so much!! your formatting is also super aesthetic just a question, i saw on your kofi that you also draw so i was wondering if you drew all the header arts?? bc they're all super pretty :) have a great day!

darling two: Just wanted to say love the writing and the way your format your posts is so aesthetically pleasing. One day I hope my posts looks half as good as yours because I legit can't get over how pretty and organized it looks.

vanya: omg thank you so much!!!! one of my bffs, yue, is to thank for the formatting and aesthetic choices, really! if you wanna see more of her aesthetic formats and posts, she actually runs a few blogs! you may know her as @milkscafe​, formally @milkaaton! i adore her and her aes choices so much 🥺

as for the headers, i don’t draw 99.98% of them! i have drawn a couple, but they’re so few and far in between since i almost never finish my art wips haha... my older posts are lacking proper credits because i’m an absolute idiot, but i’m slowly working my way backwards to credit them all where possible! they’re all indeed super pretty!!!

have a great day yourself, my love!!

darling: THEY’RE NOT BAD CONTENT, I LOVE THEM ALL

vanya: this was in response to a now-deleted lil blurb but i kept it in my inbox because i wanted to say i love u very much and seeing this ask each time i open my inbox makes my heart skip a beat ♡

darling: Listen I love your writing, you inspired me to start it myself! I've always loved to write, and read of course but your style and concepts just stick with me. If you where to write something besides Yandere content/fandom content and started your own series? I would read the shit, out of it. I'm always nervous to interact with my favorite writers because you know, I'm afraid of the impression I'd leave but I just wanted to say this anyway! 💞💞💞🔫😳

vanya: wowowow fgfnmgnfmngfg that’s such a high compliment my brain just gmfnbgmnf go boom fogjfngnfg and thank you for the interaction, us writers truly appreciate it no matter how awkward or nervous you think you may be / come off!!!

darling one: As a writer, your post struck a nerve with me. I don’t send feedback to writers I like nearly as much as I should (and certainly not as much as I’d like in return as a writer). So, as such, I’m going to start doing that when I can, starting with you.

You are an incredible writer. You were one of the first yandere writing blogs I found and you’re still one I check in on regularly to see what you have been working on. You can portray a sense of suspense and intrigue in a natural way that many other writers - published ones included - struggle with. You delve into the darkness without it feeling forced, and you have an amazing grasp on the psyches of the characters you write for (which is a quality I adore in writing and strive toward myself).

I’m not great at ending these things so I guess.. you keep doing you? Because the you is great and I appreciate it.

darling two:  hey. i'm here to tell you that from the bottom of my heart i love you and your writings. i really admire your writing skills. you inspire me. one of your posts once saved me from a nervous breakdown. thank you for everything you do. you're a wonderful person. good luck!

darling three: I wanted to tell you that thank you for writing such wonderful beautiful writings and that you take time to edit and write I hope you are taking care of yourself 💖❤

darling four: Thanks. I was having a hard time and deleted all my apps, but as soon as i opened my phone my first instinct was to look at your blog and i got my motivation back. Thanks (:

darling five: Hi ! I just wanted to say I really enjoy the stories you write and how they are detailed so well ! Stay safe and I hope you have a good day/night ! ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

vanya: ahhhh, these are very old asks mostly dating back to my “tumblr writing community is dying” post, and i’ve kept them this entire time because i’m just so starstruck. i have no clue how to reply to compliments, so i’m not sure what else to say besides that these asks made me very happy and got me through a few insecure moments!!! i’ve actually been feeling a little down about my writing recently, mostly because of lack of motivation / inspiration, so revisiting these really warmed my heart, so thank you truly ♡ i’m certainly keeping the originals in my inbox until the end of time!!

darling @monstrously-obsessed: psst, this local cryptic mom thing send all of their love for you 💕

vanya: your local herbo says she loves you very much momster 🥺 mwah

also, to the anon worried about my safety:

thank you so much for pointing that out!!! it hadn’t even crossed my mind when i made those ocs, so i appreciate your concern! i was contemplating revamping those two as is, so this is a great place to start! thank you again!!

[toomanysurveys9]

A Art: When was the last time you painted something? I don’t even remember. Adventure: When was the last time you really felt alive, and what were you doing? Family vacation to TN with the family this past Memorial day weekend. It was a nice break from the “real” world. Allergies: What is one thing that you are allergic to? Grass. It fucking sucks. Answers: What is one question you would like an answer to? Why me? Age: What has been your favorite age so far? As much as I don’t like getting older... I love being a mom. So now.

B What month is your birthday? September. I’m 28 this year. Have you ever played house inside a big box? Probably. Are you boisterous? Definitely not. Have you ever dated a bad boy? Kind of, I guess.  Name one thing you like that is blue: Blue moon ice cream. C Cinnamon–yay or nay? Usually I enjoy it.

Chocolate: do you love it? I have to be in the mood for it. Name one favorite type of candy. Lately I’ve been craving skittles and gummy candies. Children: Name one favorite thing to do with kids while babysitting. Movie night with drinks and snacks! Carefree: Are you carefree? Definitey not. D When was the last time you danced like no one was watching? A few weeks ago with the kiddos. Do you daydream? I do. Dreams: What is one of your dreams? Have my own marriage and family therapy practice.. What is one thing you are currently dreading? My ultrasound tomorrow. I’m SOO excited but I am also dreading it because I’m always afraid they’re going to say my baby is gone.. Even though I can feel her move now. It still scares me. Or that they will tell me something is wrong with my baby. Name something delicious. Smoothies. E Would you ride an elephant if given the opportunity? I have once when I was younger and my mom took my siblings and I to the circus. Do you live life on the edge? I don’t think so. Name something you like to eat: These days.. watermelon. Do you believe in everlasting life? No. I wish. But no. Name something that comes easy to you. Being a mom.. usually. F Name a fragrance you like. There are several from Bath and Body!  Are you a free spirit? I don’t think so, no. Are you fickle? No. Are you hiding your feelings from someone? I mean.. maybe. Name one flavor you like. Hm. Caramel. G Are you gentle? Yeah. I think so. Are you generous? I try to be.. but I could probably do better. Name something green. Cucumber. Name a famous giant. The Iron Giant! Are you a girl? I am. H Are you generally a happy person? I’m happier now than I used to be. The days I want to go back to self-injury are further between each other. Do you honor the holiness of the day? No. Do you believe in Heaven? No. I wish. Name one thing you are hoping for. Our ultrasound to go well tomorrow. Name one thing you hate. Not having our own house even though it’s our house. I Imagination: Write the name of one of your imaginary friends from when you. were younger. Pebbles. From the Flintstones.  Issues: Name one magazine you subscribe to, if there is any. Family Therapy Magazine. Internet: Name one website you visit often. Facebook and my school website. Itinerary: List one place you would like to visit. Italy. Interest: Name one thing that interests you. Marriage and family therapy.  J Are you joyful? Eh. I dont’ know about joyful. When was the last time you were filled with joy? Watching my kids have fun when we went to the pool last Friday. Can you jump high? No. Name one girl’s name that starts with a J that you like. Jenna. Name one boy’s name that starts with a J that you like. Jacob. K Have you ever been kissed? Yup. Have you ever feared that you would be killed? Something like that. Are you kind? I try to be.

Who is your kindred spirit? I don’t know.

Name one thing you liked as a kid. Playing house with my sister. L Do you love someone? Yes. My kids. Jacob. The rest of my family. My friends. Do you live out loud? I don’t think so. I feel like I live pretty quietly compared to others. Also. This question made me think of my boss/the owner of the company I work for because her Facebook bio thing says something about coming to live out loud. Do you read food labels? Occasionally. Name something local that you like. Our local ice cream place!

List one thing you like to do at the lake. Swim. M Do you like… monkeys music musicals mansions miracles N Do you want something…. new nice neat never-before-seen nature-inspired O How old are you? 27. What is the last great opportunity you missed? I missed a deadline for joining this group I wanted to. Hopefully I get an invite again next year. Name one thing you like that’s orange (besides oranges). Orange sherbet. Are you open? Not so much in person. Name something odd. My cat, Arlo. Lol. He’s the best though. P Are you… patient perky pale peaceful passionate Q Do you own a… quilt quail queen-size bed quill pen book of questions R Do you like to… run rave riddle rhyme rap S Are you ever… shy sensitive secretive sure stable T Are you… ticklish trouble tall thankful tactful U Have you ever… ridden a unicyle used an umbrella visited an uncle been undecided played a ukelele V Do you own a… violin vehicle violet dress vampire cape veil for a wedding dress W What is something you wish for? Cures for so many illnesses. Wonder: When was the last time you opened your eyes in wonder? I don’t know. Name five words you like. I’m too tired to think that much. What is something you wonder? Why they picked me. Name someone who thinks you are worthless. MEEEE. X Have you ever… played a xylophone had an x-ray enjoyed exercise had excision surgery been excluded Y Are you young? I’m 27. So ish. Are you youthful? I guess so. Did you have a big yard growing up? Not really. But it was enough for us. What did you do yesterday? I worked. Came home. Took care of my kids and my parents kids. Took care of Jacob because he wasn’t feeling well like I haven’t been. Do you like yams? I’m not sure I have had them but just the name makes me not want to. Z Zeal: What are you passionate about? Mental health. Which is hilarious considering my own. Zing: Do you like raspberry lemonade? I do! What’s your favorite zoo animal? Monkeys. All the monkeys. Do you own anything from Zales? My wedding ring set... that has now been lost. List a name that starts with a Z. Zelda.

[currentfandomkick]

Marientte Meeting Uncle Victor Zsasz

Heads up, from my maribat bio! Dad Strange AU.

One sidenote, in this Gina is from the side of the Gotham Falcone crime family that didnt leave for america. They were also mafia, just, vanished one day. Zsasz is smart enough to do his research and puts a few things together, realizes his goddaughter is even more interesting and calls her the surviving falcone despite no blood relationship with her and Gina.

Marinette was little when a bald man walked over to her wide a wide grin like Jerome’s, not Jerimah’s.

“So you’re the littlest surviving Falcone?”

Marinette screwed her face up in confusion. She didnt know any falcone.

“Your nonna on Papa’s side claimed you.”

Marinette nodded at that. Nonna was from Italy like her Nonno, and they both fought stronzos (idiots) and they ran away together when her family was ‘too much’. They traveled for a long before settling in Paris when Nonna was going to have Papa.

“That’s ‘cause she’s my Nonna and im her fatina.”

Zsasz nodded sagely before lifting little Marinette up.

“And you seem to be freinds with a lot of people in Arkham.”

“That’s cause Father works there an’ the clin-ik.”

Zsasz nodded, looking at the area he found her in. Rooftops in the narrows. He’d already finished his job for the day, and its not like he’d see the last Falcone for a while if he didnt take advantage now.

“Im guessing you were helping on of your friends get home?” (Penguin)

“He had to see his husband but its his friend’s day, so he had to go back but he’s no good at stealth.”

Zsasz hummed, kneeling down now. “I think its time i teach you a few things about handling the bad people in arkham.”

Marinette screwed up her face again. “Like the hat guy? I really dont like him.” Marientte shuffled back at that. “Jerome was put in his room when he stabbed him for trying to get too close to me when he didnt listen the first time.”

Zsasz almost twitched at that, adding the mad hatter to his list of future kills.

“Well, an easy way to get people to listen is to show them that while you can take them down, youre choosing not to. Sometimes when someone is causing a lot of problems, i pay them a visit when they arent there, make myself something and if someone ruins the surprise, i put them to sleep. When they come home they know what i can do, and that what i dont do is by choice.”

Marinette nodded thoughtfully. “So a conditional threat with proof?”

Zsasz grinned at her, grabbing the girl to carry. “Very good.”

Marinette leaned against him as he carried her. She was getting tired.

“Arkham or Clinic?”

“What time is it?”

“Past you bedtime id imagine.”

Marinette hummed.

“Arkham please uncle Victor.”

Zsasz paused. “You already know my name?”

Marinette lazily nodded against him. “On the list the officer that hates uncle ozzy gave me of people to look out for.”

“Are you going to tell him you saw me?”

Marinette frowned at that. “He didnt ask me to tell me, so why would i?”

Zsasz smiled at that. “Good. He’s a mean officer that doesnt get that people like me keep the city from falling in on itself.”

“You hurt people that hurt the... the wall people.”

“Wall people, thats a new one.” Zsasz had a feeling the professor had something to do with that.

“Father says people see walls or doors. Walls are stops and doors are maybes and possibilies. Wall people make the stops and keeps the door people like daddy from hurting people when they dont remember better.” Marinette frowned for a moment. “I think i’m a door person like Father but Maman wants me to be wall person since door people are dangerous...You’re a wall fixer. Can i be one too? Theyre not forgetful and i want to be like that.”

Zsasz grinned. “I like you. Maybe ill keep you.”

“Maman’ll come back then.” Marinette shuffled closer to Zsasz then, like she was settling in for a nap. “She doesnt like gotham, says it has too much bad in it.”

“Your mom sounds very smart.”

“She is. She’s a too many walls person though.”

“Oh?”

“She wants me to stay away from science-y things and says im not ah, ah loud?” She frowned at the word. “Allowed.” She nodded, glad she found her word. “to help people with brain things or make machines and stuff.”

Zsasz puased as he carried her. “That’s not fair.”

Marinette shrugged against him “Maman said death’s job is to be fair, life’s is to test you. Tests dont have to be fair or easy. That’s why she left gotham i think. But i like tests so its okay.”

Zsasz was.. worried about that but he’d give his concerns to the professor later. For now, he had a small goddaughter that needed to go home, and had a training regime to plot for her. Probably would tlak to Jerome since he seems to be her bodygaurd now.

Hope you enjoyed Zsasz meeting baby Marinette. Will get to training sometime soon and more au parts Sometime soon.

[batgirl-87]

So @mdeenise “challenged” me to answer all of the questions from this Hogwarts Mystery Asks: MC. I’ve already answered some (can check ‘asks’ or ‘ask game’ tags, I’ll also link them in my Masterlist) so I’ll answer the rest I haven’t been asked yet here because

1. What is their whole name? 

Nereida Adelyn-Keira LaFontaine Black

5. How is there relationship with Jacob?

Keira and Jacob were very close - it was them against the world! They’re very protective of one another, they can get/have gotten into a lot of trouble together, both with a rebellious, mischievous streak; but they are also siblings so there’s teasing, embarrassing each other, lots of physical ‘play fighting’ - they’re very much like I can be mean to my sibling but if you’re mean to them I’ll hurt you. Clearly when he ‘disappeared’ it was devastating for Keira and she felt completely alone. 

6. How is their relationship with their parents?

Both Keira and Jacob loved their mom who was their primary caregiver. Keira honestly doesn’t really remember her dad much but Jacob hates him. She has a vague recollection of him and Regulus and Sirius, a bit better memory of Sirius who kept in contact with her and Jacob even after they moved to Canada, possibly to spite his parents but Keira thinks he actually cares about his younger half-siblings even if it was something that started out from spite or curiosity. 

When their mom died of course Jacob and Keira were very sad over their loss. They were then taken in by their mom’s close friends and moved to Canada from Ireland and while there was an adjustment period they both appreciate the care they provided, and while Jacob and Keira didn’t exactly feel like they belong in this ‘family’ their mom’s friends were great parental figures and they do care about them and appreciate everything they’ve done for them. Their dad was nonexistent in their lives after the passing of their mom (he passed soon after the next year, after the death of Regulus) but when they arrived in the UK to attend Hogwarts they did find savings left for them from their dad in Gringotts (safe to assume without his wife’s knowledge). 

So both love their mom and ‘adopted’ parents (unofficially adopted =p) and while Jacob hates their dad and views him as a manipulative, selfish, neglectful arse, Keira is pretty neutral and apathetic about her dad since she doesn’t really remember him all that well. But she appreciates the money! =p 

8. How’s their relationship with their family?

Ahahahahahaha - I’m cackling =p

Unfortunately, the family on Keira and Jacob’s mom’s side are all pretty much passed or they have no idea who they are =p Their mom and mom’s parents are passed and their mom had no siblings since her mom died relatively soon after her birth (undines...) As stated before, Jacob and Keira appreciate and care very much for their mom’s friends who took them in after her passing, although a bit of awkwardness since it’s not ‘really’ their family...

As for the Black side of their family *more cackling* Orion seemed much more interested in their mom than them and didn’t seem to want much to do with them, at least according to Jacob. Walburga hates them and this whole situation, of course! With good reason! She honestly probably would of had them killed. She focused most of her energy on ensuring this scandal did not get out into the public and was probably very relieved when they moved across the pond. Of course when Jacob returned to attend Hogwarts he was done living this lie and didn’t care who it upset and went by his Black family name, encouraging his sister to do the same - this family would not win! Walburga could try to deny it all she wanted but a paternity test (which I’ve done some research on Wizarding World paternity tests and some interesting ideas came up!) just proved it.

Despite this, Walburga and the rest of the Black family continued to ignore their entire existence. Andromeda may have been left out of the loop considering she was disowned from the family as well but when Keira and Tonks realized they were both related to Bellatrix Lestrange, and therefore related themselves, Keira was so happy to be accepted by some members of the Black family. Sirius also was accepting of his younger half-siblings and stayed in contact with them even after they moved to Canada. He may have only gone to see them at first out of curiosity and then continued to visit and communicate with them out of spite to his parents but he probably did care about them and enjoyed them more than Regulus because they weren’t brought up in a pureblood elitist household. Probably wished their mom was his mom which would just upset Walburga. And if Walburga didn’t hate them before, after she passed, Keira, now more spiteful and daring with everything that has happened, moved into the now empty (well except for Kreacher) 12 Grimmauld Place which would just piss Walburga off! How she convinced Remus, no idea - basically she was like I’m doing this and Remus had to go along with it =p

Wait, is Kreacher family? Keira and Kreacher argue a lot and she will not stand for him being mean to Remus or any of her friends and will threaten to kick him out although it’s an empty threat because she wouldn’t actually kick him out and make him homeless! Kreacher of course thinks she’s invading some place that does not belong to her but because she is a Black she sort of does belong there and while not related to his previous Walburga, she is to Orion so he has to put up with her =p They eventually reach an understanding. Kreacher is free to stay there and does not have to do any chores or cleaning up after her or Remus, as long as he’s nice... or just stays away from her friends and Remus. 

I’m not sure how Regulus felt about them, maybe neutral? I think discovering his dad’s affair would be a shock to him, he might be curious as well to meet them and I like to think did meet them at least once, possibly while their mom was passing (like Orion went to see her and Sirius and Regulus decided to go as well because, hey, it is their younger siblings whether they like it or not and it’s a hard thing to go through) but I think he was more worried and concerned about Death Eater affairs and tricking Voldemort =p

So while Keira is close with Tonks, and probably her parents as well, and both Keira and Jacob are accepted by Sirius, and maybe even Regulus, who knows =p, most of the Black family still pretends they don’t exist. Although I like to think Keira later bonds with Draco and they become close and overall these next generations are going to be better. And while Bellatrix may refuse to acknowledge Keira’s relationship to her, deep down she actually really likes Keira because she’s a strong, tough bitch who isn’t afraid of her and would have killed Dumbledore without even being a Death Eater if asked =p Seriously, Keira knows she’s actually Bella’s favorite. 

(This also pretty much works for my original HP OC bio where she was Sirius’ daughter because besides Tonks, Andromeda, and Ted, the rest of the Black family wouldn’t really acknowledge her existence either)

Does Remus count as family? Of course he does, he’s “Uncle Remus!” =p Remus and Keira had an instant bond, they are incredibly close - I like to think of it as two people who felt completely alone in the world found each other and now they were not longer alone. Keira is very much like Sirius, and Jacob can be very much like James actually, so it was actually nice for Remus to be around them if not bittersweet. I actually have a post about Keira and Remus’ relationship so I won’t say too much more besides they are very close and Keira is suuuuper protective over him.

9. Do they have any other siblings?

Sirius and Regulus Black

11. Do they have pets?

Keira has a Siamese cat and Jacob had a Barred Owl named Archimedes which I guess is hers now too? Jacob also wanted a dog or crup but then went to school so their ‘adoptive’ parents are taking care of it =p

14. Any crushes?

Charlie Weasley.

She won’t outright admit it but it’s obvious to everyone else besides Charlie. Wasn’t even aware of it herself for quite awhile! =p But fortunately she plays it pretty cool and isn’t a stuttering mess around him so maybe he has no idea she likes him because she’s so chill and nonchalant about it. Although she can be flirtatious but she can be like that with a lot of people =p (She’s related to Sirius she can’t help it! =p)

16. Have they ever dated someone before (Either back at their home or at Hogwarts)?

Rumour has it during her summer before Sixth Year, where she spent most of it in Canada, and going into Sixth Year she was dating someone. Has not been confirmed nor denied. 😜

(I think that’s all of them? Wasn't that much actually, I expected more =p But I still wrote a lot more than intended so sorry about that! Hope I explained things well enough! If anyone has any questions or want to talk about MC’s more hit me up! Thanks for your challenge! 😉💙)

[ladyloveandjustice]

Mom and I listened to Chernow’s biography of Hamilton before seeing the play and I want to write down some of my favorite hot facts that were basically “WHAT A SOAP OPERA  ALL THESE GUYS ARE SO FUCKING PETTY” dont try to nitpick for accuracy on these they’re heavily paraphrased take them with a grain of salt i’m just writing this so i can remember the basics

-I think actually maybe the most hilarious and admittedly brave thing Hamilton did was very early on, a bunch of revolutionary guys came to lynch his prof from Kings College for being a loyalist. Even though they weren’t on the same side, Hamilton was there for his prof, so he actually BLOCKED THIS ANGRY MOB at the staircase and LECTURED them to give his prof time to escape. He was like “blablabla U GUYS R HURTING THE CAUSE >:(” and somehow they didn’t all kill him and he successfully delayed them. Amazing.

-Hamiltons mom was AN EXTREME BADASS, basically her mother sold her off to marry this mean guy and she HATED HIM and he hated her for not being submissive enough and she was like “screw you” and just..left. So he threw her in prison for adultery! like literally prison! and it was prison that wasn’t even used for anything else she was the only one in the prison. He thought this would finally make her submissive but instead she basically skipped town the second she was let out and NEVER CAME BACK. So she was still married to this dude the whole time, which is why she couldn’t marry Hamilton’s dad. 

(also after Hamilton’s dad left she ran a shop to support her family, which was unusual for a young woman to do back then, but she was independent like whoa)

unfortunately she also had a son with her first husband that she left behind with when she ran away(in her defense, I imagine she didn’t have the means to support him at the time and also would have gotten caught if she went back for him), so her first husband turned her son against her, reminding him all the time that she abandoned him and saying she was evil...so when she died the son basically came in and claimed all of the property she’d left and rendered his orphaned half-brothers homeless.NOT VERY NICE AT ALL.

-James Monroe and two other dudes were actually the ones who confronted Hamilton about possible speculation and he invited them to his house and gave this WHOLE HOUR LONG presentation on his affair, with a bazillion papers and letters as proof. Like about fifteen minutes in, everyone realized they were wrong and were like “okay we’re very sorry for poking our nose into your private matters we believe you we’ll leave you alone” but Hamilton was like “NO I’M NOT DONE YOU HAVEN’T HEARD IT ALL YET” and went through the entire thing in ridic self-flagellating detail while his audience just cringed. Afterwards one of the guys was like “that was one of the most humiliating things i’ve ever witnessed”

-Anyway James Monroe definitely probably leaked the Reynolds documents Hamilton showed him even though he swore not to show them to anyone. YES A FUTURE PRESIDENT WHO COULD NOT BE TRUSTED WE’RE ALL SURPRISED.Hamilton was SO mad about this he wrote to him basically saying “YOU BETTER APOLOGIZE OR MEET ME OUTSIDE” because that was his response to everything.  Burr was actually chosen as the mediator for this because he was friendly to both of them at the time and he basically tried to calm them both down and prevent a duel. Monroe had initially said he believed that Hamilton wasn’t embezzling or speculating or whatever, but then he was like “UH I CHANGED MY MIND I’VE DECIDED NOW YOU ARE” which made Hamilton SO mad. Burr actually chastised Monroe about this, basically like “c’mon, we both know Hamilton would never betray his office, I know it, you know it, It’s Hamilton.” Anyway Burr saved Hamilton from dueling James Monroe.

But do you know who ELSE would have probably been fine dueling James Monroe? ELIZA. She was, rightfully, very pissed at him for exposing something that hurt her so much. Monroe did his time as president, and once it was over, he decided he wanted to patch things up with her (Hamilton was long dead by this time ofc, and Eliza was elderly). So he came to her house and Eliza was Not Happy when a servant reported his arrival. Hamilton’s kids remembered “her voice got low like it always does when she’s angry”. She went to see him in their living room and he was all “So, Eliza, a lot has happened and there was fault on both sides”-

and she was basically like “EXCUSE ME??? IS THAT AN APOLOGY? BECAUSE IT DOESN’T SOUND LIKE AN APOLOGY. IF YOU’RE HERE TO ACTUALLY APOLOGIZE I’LL LISTEN TO IT. BUT IF YOU’RE GONNA GIVE ME SOME WEAK “BLAME ON BOTH SIDES” BULLSHIT I’M NOT HERE FOR IT. I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING BUT YOU SAYING SORRY THAT YOU BETRAYED MY LATE HUSBAND AND RUINED OUR LIVES. IF YOU CAN’T SAY THAT, THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE”.

Monroe was flabbergasted, and apparently it was too much for him to give an actual apology, so he just left. So let the record show Eliza schooled an ex-president and kicked him out of her house.

-everything relating to Phillip and Hamilton’s duels was super sad. When he was waiting to hear about the results of Phillip’s duel with the doctor (or someone) Hamilton was so overcome with anxiety he actually fainted. He had to be propped up by two people during the funeral because he was so unsteady. Not only did he fall into his first bout of lethargic depression and actually didn’t write anything for a good while (a big deal for him) he didn’t even answer sympathy notes until four months later (also a big deal for him).

-According the doctor, in his own duel, Hamilton knew it was a mortal wound as soon as he was shot. He collapsed, but came to on the boat and the first thing he said was “GUYS BE CAREFUL OF HANDLING THAT PISTOL IT’S STILL LOADED IT COULD GO OFF I DIDN’T ACTUALLY SHOOT IT BUT PLEASE REMEMBER TO TELL EVERYONE I WAS GOING TO THROW AWAY MY SHOT” He did actually shoot it of course, but he fact he didn’t seem to know this makes it seem more likely he just accidentally squeezed the trigger when he was shot.

- the other thing he kept babbling about was how they should get Eliza but break it to her gradually. in stages. Ease her into it. Which it’s nice you’re considerate of her feelings NOW, wish you’d been considerate enough NOT TO DO THE DUEL.

-anyway the description of his death in the bio was very sad and he said he didn’t hold anything against Burr and was at peace though so i guess that’s nice.

-in contrast Burr was such an ASSHOLE about Hamilton’s death omg

-Before I go into WHAT A GIANT ASS JERK HE IS I will give Burr one credit: he believed strongly women were equal to men, and made sure Theodosia was educated in everything, and even had her taught to shoot from horseback. Like he really wanted to make sure his daughter knew how to kill stuff from a horse. i respect that.

-what I don’t respect is that Hamilton actually has EXTREMELY GOOD REASON to feel he couldn’t be trusted in office- there was this whole drama where after New York had a yellow fever epidemic, Burr started pushing this Manhattan water company that would provide clean water to the public, which would be a huge help with yellow fever. He got Hamilton on board with it. But his real plan was actually to sneak in some last minute provisions to the water company bill that basically turned it from a water company to a bank that could complete with Federalist banks. Not only compete with them, but have less restrictions to them. So he basically tricked Hamilton into pushing through a bill that was designed to undermine his own beloved banks. Hamilton was PRETTY PISSED, and I can’t blame him for that. Not to mention, the water company obviously never happened, and other water companies weren’t set up because everyone thought it would be covered- so when yellow fever came back to new york? No clean water, lots of deaths, some of which could have probably been prevented if Burr hadn’t been a greedy asshole.

-Burr showed some signs of regret immediately after the duel, moving towards Hamilton and wanting to talk to him, but he pretty much treated it pretty callously after that. Actually, he want to have breakfast afterwards, and his cousin came to visit and they chatted and HE ACTED COMPLETELY NORMAL AND NEVER MENTIONED HE’D LITERALLY JUST KILLED THE FORMER SECRETARY OF TREASURY. When Burr’s cousin went into town afterwards someone told him what had happened and cuz was like “nah you gotta be wrong i was just with him and he didn’t mention anything like that at all! He seemed completely normal!” then he saw a newspaper and was like “WHAT THE FUCK.”

-he also happily went around sleeping with tons of ladies after the duel and even wrote to Theodosia saying “I actually recommend doing a duel and courtship at same time it keeps ya invigorated” AND WOW WHAT A SUPER APPROPRIATE THING TO WRITE TO YOUR DAUGHTER. Maybe Theodosia was glad to die at sea after reading that. Anyway, the only sign of regret Burr really showed was “the world was wide enough” quote (which might have been a dark joke, but I think there was a grain of truth in it regardless, like Lin Manuel says, who knows).

-Burr was in incredible debt- (so was Hamilton when he died- Eliza’s inheritance from her dad wasn’t enough to cover it but fortunately all of Hamilton’s friends came together and secretly gave Eliza money to cover it which is nice. Jefferson was in SO much debt when he died his entire estate and 200 slaves were all sold to cover it. yeah he didn’t free anyone besides the slaves who were his children in his will, an asshole to the end.) so he left the country to escape creditors in addition to the murder charges and used a pseudonym. 

-Burr also had this weird fucking plan to become emperor of mexico or seize spanish florida or some shit and was plotting it, and he was actually tried for treason because of this! Thomas Jefferson REALLY REALLY wanted Burr to get punished and put all the pressure he could on the Supreme Court to find him guilty and it was test of our constitutional powers- would the supreme court bow down to the president? turns out no, since Burr got off.

-However, he wasn’t unscathed- a SHIT-TON of people close to him died around the time Theodosia died and he was devastated and basically a recluse afterwards (life doesn’t discriminate...) He married a second wife, but she then realized he was fucking terrible with money and was going to drive her into poverty with his shitty land deals (also she was nearly 20 years younger- I wonder if she was counting on him dying and leaving her something and then realized he was going to die and leave her with DEBT instead). So she got- DRUMROLL- ALEXANDER HAMILTON’S SON, ALEX JR, TO DIVORCE THEM. such a asshole move honestly, i gotta respect it, you go girl. Burr might not have been able to tell what was going on though since he was having strokes and stuff. She managed to divorce him JUST IN TIME, on the day of his death.

-honestly i’m most interested in the petty drama of history and how all these people were just behaving like they’re five and fucking up constantly and listening to this biography proved that to me. people are so ridiculous.

[bishiglomper]

Who wants to learn about my family drama? Too bad I'm gonna post about it anyway.

So mom got pregnant at 16. Married the guy. He went into the military. I came along 8 years after my sister. It was all fine and good I guess until he came home from a deployment when i was... 12 maybe.

I bring this up because i took a 3 hour roadtrip alone with dad's wife. She spilled all sorts of beans..

So anyway. That was at least his 2nd or 3rd deployment and i guess he sent mom 70k. When he came home, there was no money. No one ever figured out where it went. Figured mom spent it. We have no idea on what. Looking back I can't think of anything she could have spent it on. I dont remember her leaving for secret trips or anything. No new items. No strangers coming around. Its a mystery.

So shit didnt really start take a turn for the worse until we moved to Ohio when I was around 14. Dad had another deployment, but this time he acquired PTSD. I never questioned why, i just figured war was obviously bound to leave you fucked up.

Dad's wife told me differently. I had to twist her arm just to give me vague cryptic keywords. Like "murder" "people who ought not be murdered" and "practically coerced him into being involved" 😳

My poor daddy. No wonder he ended up locked in his room with a swat team surrounding the house.. Until mom donkey-kicked the door in to get to him and take his gun. He witnessed some fucked up shit, even though I'm not quite sure what.

But the real juicy bit is something i didnt even know about until my late 20s. Sissy told me while we were in Ohio, my parents were involved in swinging. Knew no details other than thats where a couple of their friends came from.

The new light she'd on this topic though, was it was mom's idea. I always figured it was dad. But apparently he only did it for mom.

(His now-wife is named Stacy. I love her but i just cant call her stepmom.)

Sje said she researched the topic, and typically swingers are middle-aged couoles who married too young. (So, typical case)

Anyway. I guess mom gradually started breaking rules. Like getting permission from dad first. And she snuck around during his next deployment..

During this time, we jad a daughter of familt friends staying with us. I was only 14 but i knew this woman was trouble. She was the type who could and would totally kick your ass if you pissed her off. Questionable choices. Wild child. All that shit. But she was good to us, so.

Anyway. My niece has brought back stories from her bio-dad's side of the family. One of which being that one time whilst mom and our guest were at a bar, mom tried to get into (bio-dad's family member's pants)

I always thought wow, never knew mom couod/would do that; crazy..

But Stacy filled in some swinger drama from that time and it all fits.

(Took a break from posting to actually discuss and compare notes with my sister)

The only discrepancy is sister is adamant that this WAS dad's idea to swing.

So anyway.

The next bit of drama was my sister having the niece. We all went to Iowa because we spent summers with the aunt and everyone.

At this point we were already planning on the move to Iowa that winter.

So dad, being fed up with my 23yr old sister who was a slob, refused to get a job and support her child.. He's just like "so you can either stay here and I'll send your shit or you can come back for your shit and gtfo"

He sent her stuff. But because she had a child that half belonged to someone else and essentially moved several states away, he sued. Thankfully dad helped with the lawyer and while not perfect, my sister got the best possible deal for the situation.

But all through this, dad absolutely loved his granddaughter. And it was an asshole move, but dad only agreed to support my sister and let her stay with us if he got to name her daughter. He picked Dominatrice. (Doh-min-ah-treece) Because you can get Trixie out of it. We were all like Wtf but ok.

So the last biggest drama was the events that led to dad ghosting my niece.

So one thing that happened was dad wanted to take little niecey out to lunch. She was 5ish. Sister couldnt get work off though, but hes all "its fine, I'll just pick her up and drop her back off"

But sissy was able to leave and met them. But as soon as she did he's like "you know what, im actually gonna go ahead and take off"

Which created a slurry of suspicious thought like "wtf is going on, did i foil plans to whisk my daughter back with them?"

When sissy told me this, I figured it was either just a weird mix of coincidence that set off alarm bells or weird timing. Or both. I'm 100% confident dad didnt plan anything. What was he going to do with her? Its not like he'd be able to kidnap her and go off grid never to be found again. Also was he going to just raise her? None of that makes sense.

Anyway. The big blowout didnt happen until dad was on his way back to virginia and the niece was due to be picked up from ohio. He offered to pick her up along the way and we were supposed to go up after them and spend vacatipn with them.

Sister told him no, he couldn't do that. He asked why. She tried to avoid answering him, but eventually told him that it was in the court order that he not be left alone with the child. Probably because he CAUSED the whole custody fiasco.

But this was the first he'd heard of it. So he was understandably upset. And then he tried hounding her for answers, for proof. Send him the document stating this. It escalated until he would jusy be yelling and svreaming over the phone and make sissy cry until mom had to shut down the phone calls.

I asked my sister why she didn't just show him the proof. Like, thats all he wanted.

She said it was not her job to prove it to him. It was public record, he could do it him damn self.

Stacy told me he tried, but couldn't get it because niece was a minor.

When I told Sissy this, she gave me the SNOTTIEST facial expression which i think meant "well, shit." Mixed with a mocking sort of "he's still a whiny-piss-baby"

So yeah. We're only visiting because after like 9 years dad reached out after forcibly pushing all this anger and feels down in effort to reconcile. Sissy is attempting to but at the same time feels he's too toxic to bother with and doesnt want him near her kids.

All because after this went down, he then ghosted the niece. He used to call her and send her gifts all the time. Her little heart was absolutely broken when he started ignoring her. Stacy told hom not to do that, so the general consensus was that it was indeed a dick move.

His reasoning though was "my daughter thinks i want to kidnap my grandchild, how can i reach out and have a relationship with her without incriminating myself?"

So yeah. Stacy and I are very alike in the fact that we both are able to see both sides of an argument. I'm glad i got to see the other side because apparently dad told her (about the dicorce and everything) "they'll figure out what happened and realize its not all my fault"

Like, uh. No? How were we supposed to reach that conclusion? And i dont know about my sister, but i was a self-absorbed naive teenager, I wasnt aware of jack shit. 😂

And that is the story of the day. :D

In other news, I wrote this while dad finally got his gallbladder surgery and we worried he'd either bleed out or have a heart complication and die. Aaaand he was out in like an hour and a half. So far he's good. Now we can visit the aquarium without stewing in anxiety. Hooray!

[wewontliveforeversomakeitworthit]

My Story

Hi, my name is Lisa and I am an alcoholic. My sobriety date is January 3rd 2017 I have a home group, love and service in Rochester NY, i have a sponsor, i have a service position and I am currently working the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. Today I shared at the forensics unit at our psych center and nothing came out right and i didn’t actually know how to share my story so I’m going to try to gather my thoughts and share it on here before my next share. I grew up in what would appear to be just a totally normal middle class home in Henrietta NY. I have 4 older sisters and 2 incredibly loving amazing supportive and sometimes absolutely insane parents. While i was growing up I felt exactly how alot of people say that they did too, i felt different, left out and not good enough for anybody. In elementary school I was already a compulsive liar, telling people that i had boyfriends and stupid stuff like that. I turned to food to hide my feelings and to hide myself and that turned into me being bullied for being over weight. And even from that young age i took the things that those people said to me straight to heart and it was gospel and they were right, I was fat, i had awful acne, i was ugly and nobody would ever love me because of my appearance. I decided I wanted to lose that weight when i was going into 8th grade and I lost some of it and was actually pretty normal for the most part at that time. I then thought i was completely in love with a guy in 8th grade who was also my best friend and we hung out over that winter break and i thought something was going to happen, like obviously we were going to be in love and get married but instead he told me that he didn’t want me in that way, turns out hes actually gay now but it sent me on a downward spiral into mental illness that was lurking in the shadows of my life since I could think. I developed anorexia and starved myself every day until i got down to about 100lbs, my family and I went on vacation and being around them i wasn’t able to eat (well not eat) the way that I was. I cried every single night on that vacation because of how utterly disgusted with myself i was. I then came home and developed bulimia because the control of the starving was completely gone. But the night that boy told me he didn’t want me, something else happened. I drank, it was NYE at my sisters house and I was 14 years old, her friends asked me if i wanted a drink and god did i want a drink. I wanted to feel the careless joy the people around me were feeling. They made the mistake of showing me where their green tea vodka was and i started drinking and didn’t stop until it was gone. I remember while i was drinking that something inside of me started to change, i wasn’t shy and concerned with what other people were thinking of me anymore, i didn’t care at all about anything. I remember my tongue and my cheeks getting numb and i was on cloud nine.  After that night i was too preoccupied with my ED to give a fuck about drinking or drugging until bulimia came into play. I started snorting adderall so that i wouldnt eat and that went on through ninth grade until i went to program for my eating disorder and those people saved me from dying from that disease. But after i got out of that program, life got real. I had about a year of decent normalcy but at the beginning of my junior year things started to progress. I started to not give a shit about school at all, i started skipping classes and going to parties on weekends and drinking whenever it was an option for me. I started dating guys who were really just not good people and i had only one friend. We went out when we could but it never dawned on me that I was drinking any differently than any of the other kids i was around because really I wasn’t but the way it was affecting me and the way i was thinking about it was COMPLETELY different from those kids. They would stop drinking so they could drive home or they literally had DD’s but to be honest i dont remember much about those couple of years. I graduated highschool early because i hated literally everyone and i was convinced that they all hated me and judged me because most of the time they did. In my senior year i started using the tinder app and i would go over to random guys houses and meet them and every time that happened id get to drink, in my bio it even said “alcohol enthusiast”. boy was i wrong. I thought it was normal to do what i was doing, i really didnt think twice about it. Meeting these guys and being able to get black out drunk and then maybe sleep with them just seemed like a normal thing to do. Until my parents started asking questions about where i was going and why there were alcohol containers in my car and i would lie and say they were someone elses but theyre not stupid they knew they were mine. Things slowed down a little while i was in my first couple semesters of nursing school, i still drank but just on weekends with my boyfriend at the time and his roommates, and i thought i was drinking normally but i guess blacking out and starting fights on purpose because of your drinking isn’t neccesarily normal. I wouldn’t walk around the park ave area with him at night time unless he wanted to drink and that became a norm for me. I needed a drink if i was going to do anything at all, go to the movies? drink. hang out with literally anyone? drink. watching some tv? drink. While my boyfriend at the time went on vacation for christmas i decided to go to a party because if i saw anything about anyone drinking on social media i was on top of it, i made sure i had a way to get drunk whenever and i went to that party and i did cocaine for the second time in my life. the first time i really dont remember much but it was before i had met Kenny. So he went away and I went to a harmless party and kept my drinks near me like they were my children. I heard they were doing shots downstairs and i went down there and took probably 7 tequila shots in a row and blacked out, i came too when i started doing lines and by the time it was 7am i was calling him asking him to help me. That was a thing of mine, was to get drunk one place and then message or text as many people as possible to help me because i needed to go somewhere else or do something else because i didn’t want the fun to end. I kept on drinking the way i was drinking but because of how sick and awful i had felt i didn’t touch drugs again for a little while but i did wind up finding them again. but then all of a sudden over the summer of last year, shit hit the fan. I was drinking every single night and one night i went and hungout with a guy i had met probably on tinder and he said he needed to stop by a friends house for a birthday gift and i was like oh yeah ok cool, turns out his friend was the supplier for the whole town he lived in and she offered me some and i actually said no. i scolded him for his awful decision making and we went to Durand beach to get drunk and by the end of that night i had at some point asked if i could have some of his drugs so that i could safely drive home and obviously he said yes and then life went crazy. i went back to durand with that same person but met a whole bunch of other people and some how met a small group of people another time on that night and i wish i had clearer details but i was really a black out drinker and i wouldnt come to unless i had something else in my system. So we met this other smaller group of people and my life changed. some how i started attracting people who had what i thought i needed and wanted and id switch back and forth between these peoples houses getting free drinks and drugs and staying up for days at a time and not coming home and moving from job to job trying to keep my head above water. I wouldn’t stop thinking about being able to get the next drink or drug. Id go to morning classes after not sleeping in two days and be completely strung out or just not go at all. I got to a point where i couldnt drink without putting a drug in my system and i tried. I tried to stop myself from getting too drunk by switching drinks or not having as many and i was convinced i didn’t have a problem because i didn’t drink during the day so i clearly wasn’t an alcoholic. I would try to drink around people who didn’t approve of me doing drugs and i still somehow managed to go from house to house to house getting drinks and drugs until there was nothing left. One night i was at a house with all of these people i had been drinking and drugging with who i thought i really was just living the life with and i went upstairs and had a panic attack. I wanted to go home because something in me created a feeling that told me i no longer belonged there. So after 3 days of not being home and countless cries for help to my therapist and other people i called my parents at 4am and told them i was coming home and sobbing i told them i needed to talk to them. That night i told them about what i had been doing and got myself an intake appointment for outpatient. And i still at that point thought i probably only had a drug problem and that it wasn’t the drinking. i really didnt think it was the drinking. But once i started outpatient, i couldnt for life of me stay sober but i wanted it i really did. and when i tell you that night i went home that i was desperate for help i mean i wanted to die. i spent so many days of coming down just praying for god to take my life because truly i couldn’t live it anymore. Times id come home so sick and dehydrated my mom would have to run IV’s through me and id lay on that bathroom floor wishing it would all just end. I had known about AA but it was introduced to me through a girl in my outpatient and she told me she was going to a meeting and i told her i wanted to go. I had just relapsed for what would be the last time and i wanted to be sober more than anything and i couldn’t handle the constant relapses. My first AA meeting was wits end when it was upstairs at Rosedale and i was not buying any of it. I was convinced that all those young people car pooling were getting drunk directly after the meeting and that they were all just liars and fakes. I was texting someone ABOUT getting drunk at that meeting but luckily nobody would comply because on that Sunday i went to a womens meeting in fairport and i felt so engulfed with love and acceptance it was incredible. These women gave me a coin and hugged me and even though they talked about god they were something i hadnt experienced in a long time and that was happy without needing a drink or a drug to do it. I was handed that 24 hour coin and I decided maybe I’d do a couple more of these meeting things but i wouldn’t get involved like they were. My friend and i started going to a 5:30 meeting that was mostly old people or people off the street who were drunk but i stuck around for long enough to meet Pat and he was the FIRST person i heard share within my 2 months of meetings that i could actually relate to and for the first time i went up and talked to someone after they spoke and i told him how much i related and he told me to go to his home group Love and Service and that he wanted to introduce me to someone and that someone turned out to be my sponsor. I had no idea what i was doing and i knew that if i didn’t start to actually do something other than meetings that i was going to drink again and i didn’t want that for myself anymore. So my sponsor and i didnt even discuss her sponsoring me it just happened and she told me to get phone numbers and find a home group and a service position and it took me a couple weeks but i did it. meanwhile, my friend who introduced me to AA asked me if i was calling my sponsor every day and i was like uhhhh what do you mean call her everyday?????? and my friends like yeah duh thats like an unspoken aa rule and i called my sponsor right after that i was like OMG IM SO SORRY I DIDNT KNOW I WAS SUPPOSED TO CALL YOU EVERY DAY. Mostly i just didn’t have any idea how the hell to communicate with people anymore without being drunk. My social awkwardness was at level 100 and im still working on that lol. but we met up and she started to pray and she said “hey god” in the beginning of the prayer like he was just a friend and i was like oh good i got a crazy one idk how well this is gunna workout. but she started taking me through the book and something else changed, i started to grow. this is the longest ive ever done literally anything in my life and it has changed my life drastically already even just at almost 6 months sober. Today I have a full time job that i actually go to every day, today I’m able to be a daughter, a sister, a friend. Today I am learning who i am and how to deal with life on lifes terms and im becoming patient and im just in this constant growth and its absolutely amazing. I’ve found a higher power that i dont understand at all but I know its there and im able to learn things about myself every day and get called out when i’m wrong and just begin to actually live and its amazing. I’m still a work in progress but I am so beyond grateful to be here. Thank you

[dreamsanddreams88]

Dream dump

Super messed up dream where alex cheated with my mom!!! She was gone for a trip and came back and admitted it to me like it was an accident. My dad didnt care. Also alex had just become my step brother or step cousin cuz his dad got married to like my aunt? Anyway I worked with jenn and izzy and they knew. I ate a bag if chex mix and yelled at them.

Matt n anne had reception or wedding, family was super rude af so he told me to make thank you notes only for specific people. Then I was in Little witch academia, brooms were malfunctioning because they were made by Elon Musk. We left his mansion and flew around under these power poles that were arcing and letting off electricity. I was in the forest and ran down this steep hill with dead and falling trees in the night. I ran to the work lockup and homeless guys started appearing and following me, flew away on my broom.

Was staying at this haunted old mansion. My mom might have used to live there? I was in a room with 3 fireplaces going, tried to put them out. Then in bathroom when a door to the laundry kept opening by itself, very creepy. Then I was there with a whole class, everyone had submitted a drawing of a bio of themselves but no one told me cuz hadn't worked with a group. One girl there I was really jealous of, she was like Linnea and Tedi combined. Her drawing was of her with a black person saying stuff about equality, but her bio also said she was a cheerleader so I was like, that's how shes so good at being social

Dreamed I had been moved into a group home cuz of mental health, but then got into some school or university with some elite girl dorm or sorority? Idk I went from one group in a nice house to a really big group in dorm style room with bunk beds. Girls were all really cool, Kaitlyn corkery was there and didnt remember me. Thought she was gonna be stuck up but she wanted to hang out. Went to some event or meal, lots of people drunk, maybe it was winter with ice skating? Brought Alex's skateboard. Courtney anderson got kicked out of our group, tried to be soothing but she was reading one of my cover letters and crying that she didnt have the experience.

Dreamed I was still dating elliot but wanted to dump him for alex, but I was also flirting/making out w Nina who was also Jennifer Lawrence at the same time? I felt really shitty and hadn't spoken to eliot for days and days, also Sirius black was his godfather and had just died. Went to the Porters house which was this big historic place everyone hung out. Then was looking for bats and a camping spot with work crew. Wanted to drive to moquoketa caves but it was late at night. Texted olivia hottle about her being pregnant all the time? Also Lauren showed up and was trying to show me something or be a nice sister to me

I was in a book store looking at the manga and comics and there was huge section on aadams family, apparently started in 20s by same guy as Opus? First book had goth lady dating a cute penguin, named Alice Walker. Movie made about it, she was Greek orthodox and family was mad she was wearing socks instead of hose, then woke up

Tourmaline came over, she forgot my name. Had asked someone 2 sing her a lullaby on FB and I almost did but then mad she forgot my name. She went by They also, forgot when introducing her to parents. She started making hot dogs in our kitchen, burnt them in oven. Smthn bout Davin being my step grandpa somehow? Then at this family reunion, big neighbors house was a muppet face that talked. King bumi was there testing our bending, I was the avatar but didnt know firebending yet, dodged him with water and air. He threw rocks and kids tried to find them, I knew he was gonna hang onto one. Let a little toddler have it instead and win his contest. Then back in high school at lunch, everyone outside. Couldn't find friends, saw Nate and elliot doing hackey sack but didnt want to be around them. Went looking for allison Richmond?

Rly scary, ppl were in black mirror-esque simulation where I kept dying but could come back to choose different choice and keep going. Mine was at reunion party with Ellen, not eating weird toadstool. Alex was in a mansion party, people there drank this mix of sodas that turned them into fast zombies, his doc warned him to hide but they found him in a few different places. In one, he found vaccine to it and put a boy to sleep, I thought syringe was poison and he was gonna shoot him but it was a vaccine and alex and bay kept running thru the house to hide. I got caught by little kid with bloody eyes, tried to stab him but he didnt care. Cello music happening, slow motion. Also smthn bout trying to find a different desktop pic cuz mine had Mike in it even tho alex didnt know that was him, all my other pics were old ones with me and elliot in high school and my hair was short and flipped out at the bottom, looked really bad. Then zombie dream continued after waking up n sleeping again, I was young teen with bunch of others and my parents, stormy night, we were travelling to that mansion and I was trying to warn everyone to hide cuz no one knew about the zombies. Then was on weird spiderman themed waterpark ride, somebody in costume yanked my hair as I was going down slide, got really mad but couldn't find them afterwards because everyone was in spiderman costumes

Dreamed I was camping 4 work again on the steep trail at elwha dam. There was a deep cave I didnt go into. We were leaving and I had all this laundry to do. Then went to alex's mom or dad house, brad was there and also elliot. He kept telling me I had to sleep with him because we were still dating, but I knew he had gotten married cuz jenna went to the wedding and took pics. Also something with Charlotte and her friend, they were leaving school for the summer and stole sheet music cuz they both played violin, and no one was allowed to keep the music? I was jealous that she played violin

Dreamed all these women who were friends got really fucked up on drugs and jumped off a balcony at a church and died. The last one looked kinda like america ferrera and she stopped and saw them below her and froze up until someone rescued her. Really sad, I was one of the friends I guess. We were on a trip together and like 3 of us lived, it was just a 3 day weekend trip. Was avoiding talking about them, went swimming naked in this creek in a forest but some guys and their kids showed up so I had to sneak out. Everyone reminiscing about women who died, one was that actress the mom from EASY A. She always told jokes about her super grip strength, was really funny. America ferrera was friends with this woman who was huge like andre the giant, her head was ENORMOUS. Then was being driven home by this lady on a weird car/train hybrid, we were careening along this track like flying in the air at times. Stopped in the forest, then the vehicle became more like an excavator

Was in van outside mall, got held up by Lora and her sister and mom, they had guns and ordered everyone out. I had a gun hidden and I headshot both sisters and tell their mom to put her weapon down. Then standing in circle with lotr cast, we had just ended filming? Was holding pinkies with sean astin and viggo, both being very flirty. Then was camping with alex n his family, we all had our own cars. Me n him left to go bone somewhere private, run into a wild boar and her babies. I climb up onto a random bookshelf, but she climbs using her mouth. I flatten her under a huge book and I have a knife but cuts do no damage. I knock her off the shelf but then alex is still on the ground, then I woke up

Was working as a reporter for Rebecca from NOSC but it was at a college. Kept reminding everyone that women dont make as much money, was gonna research n report about it with all the women at the school. Trying to play computer game and Rebecca got mad I didnt have enough work, said I was gonna report about rush Limbaugh and how some whole govt branch he was in was rigged and set people up to fail, rebecca got really excited but I was worried cuz I didnt know amything about politics

On lake w my mom, she could sing like Elsa n it was echoing on the water. Then funeral procession went across with floating coffin n bowling alley stuff, lady who owned bowling alley had died. I started crying pretty hard even tho I didnt know her. Smthn bout going back to ecos, or I had volunteered there for a season. Then was being chased down by people cuz they wanted to execute me and another person. Daniel had heard of the zodiac killer when he was a kid

Dreamed olivia hill betrayed me. Her family worked for a bridal photo company n I was in this big room looked kinda like church, she had acted all nice to me and then did something horrible, idr what, and gleefully gave this evil speech about how she fooled me and actually hated my guts. I might have punched her? I did tell her I always hated her shitty mom, and that's why she probably betrayed me. Also smthn about working for the tribe again with kenzie and allyce doing swamp science

Me n alex trying to move to iowa, thinkin bout what friends I have left in either place. Smthn before that too idr

[jayisabells]

Sorry, once again, I've come here to rant.

My mom was getting on to me about my grades. I told her my grades in art and bio are really bad, but its early into this quarter. She tells me shes alright with anything above a B, but gets on to me for having an 80 in math studies, the 80 is because I got an 80 on the test which is not bad. Shes upset because an 80 is close to a C and I'll be in trouble if I get an assignment with a lower grade brings it down. Then she gets upset that I got a D on a stats quiz and I "always gets Ds on stats quizzes;" however, my stats grade is a B so I don't know what the problem is. I understand why she's upset about the bio grade, but theres only 2 fucking grades so far in the quarter, both which happen to be a 55. One of them is a hw assignment, which I checked before turning in, so I don't know why I got a 55. I was expecting a low grade on the quiz, but I didn't expect that low of a grade. I got a 70 last quarter in bio, so I need to get at least a B this quarter. The school sends and email to all parents/guardians about how "your student has the opportunity for grade recovery," so my mom got on to me about that. My F in art was because the teacher still needed to see something else before putting one of my grades in so she put a zero, but I showed it to her today. Also I have a great art teacher this year.

Also another note. People keep complaining about how some teachers are unclear and unfair, our bio and english teachers. I understand why the english teacher is unclear a bit, but not to the extent people are complaining about it. I usually understand her well. Then the bio teacher. People complain about how she keeps changing things, which I think she changed how she wanted an assignment she had us all redo from when she originally graded (note: she never put the grade in), now it was due today and everyone was complaining about gow she had stuff different on the original paper and the stuff she told us in class. I followed what she told us in class. I don't understand everyone's problem. Then there's this girl who always complains about the bio teacher and saying how the bio teacher does rediculous things, for example "I heard if you go talk to her about your grade she lowers them." This girl is I always saying "I heard," but if the bio teacher actually did this, she would have been fired ages ago. I mean I understand why she might get upset about you coming to her because you got a bad grade but you didn't try.

Now I am gonna talk about a friend of mine, no offense to her. She moved here from another country, but at her old school teachers would give students extra credit assignments if they asked so they can bring their grades up. Since middle school I've been taught, get it right the first time because the teacher is not gonna make an extra credit assignment just for people with low grades. And I agree with that. If the teacher is going to make an ec assignment they have to assign it to everyone, because then parents will complain, and there are so smart kids who don't need the ec and will do it and get a 100 in the class. My friend says thats ridiculous because you are making a student fail. As I said before I disagree. Now she complains/worried the bio teacher would be mad at her (the bio teacher was) for not having an assignment today. My friend was absent when the teacher gave us back the assignment to be redone, but she got it back on Friday and didn't ask the teacher when its due. Since middle school I was told it was nit the teacher's responsibility to give you make up work and when its due, you have to go to them and ask them. And I guess my friend was upset that the bio teacher was angry at her for not having it. My friend would have had two extra days to do it, but her absence was unexcused, so technically the teacher doesn't even have to give her the make up worm and just give her a zero. My friend moved here last year, so i guess she wasn't used to it. But the reason she was gone was because she is moving soon and her family, unexpectedly went to see it, so her mom didn't have time to call the school ahead. Then she said that she can't do anything about the unexcused absence unless she has a doctor's note, which is not true. I guess someone told her that, but all you need to do is get an explanation (a valid one) on why you were absent, written and signed by your parent. But i guess my friend didnt know that.

I'm just tired of people complaining about amazing teachers just because they hace a bad grade in that class. The reason I have bad grades is because I don't ask questions, I admit sometimes I just can't and don't study. The reason i get bad grades is because of me.

Now finally I would like to finish this rant about complaining about the stuck-up top of class jerks that are the smart boys. I'm in IB and at least dor my school, its a bit competitive. The top of the class boys are jerks to everyone they think are dumber than them and treat us like we are complete idiots who don't understand anything (and they treat non-ib students even worse). Just because I was slow, doesn't mean I'm dumb, there was no need to groan and complain ***** (this happened in 9th grade). Then there was **** who didn't do an assignment in Spanish, since I was his partner, he took my paper from my desk when the teacher was coming around to grade them and tried to copy it. And I was like nope and snatched it back on my desk, but then I noticed him looking over and copying answers so i dhoved it under my book. I ignored him during partner after that and the teacher noticed we weren't talking together and I got a new partner (she noticed i had a problem with him). Before he was my partner he was my friends partner, who told the teacher about him. He hit her and told her to pick up his pencil when he dropped it. He didn't say please he literally said "pick it up." Back to ***** apparently whenever my friend answered questions he would complain to his friends, and my friend heard him, that "she was so dumb and why is she answering the question." My friend is smart and amazing and honestly he can eff off. I believe people like him should be kicked out of this program. And the same guy also groans and complains when anither one og my friends asks questions (he probably thinks the questions are stupid, but they're not). I am proud of my friend because i could never be that brave to ask questions, i always think my questions are stupid and that why I'm failing bio. To my friend who asks questions, dont let this jerk change you. I will fight all the jerks for my friends. Also apparently some of the jerks made fun of my group presentation, while we were presenting. I didn't notice because I was focused on remembering what to say. I will fight these people

However not literally. I will not fight these people literally because i will get in trouble. I will fight them with my words

Thanks for listening tumblr, i needed to rant a bit.