illusionisteyes

[lusthurts]

this month is like the biggest month of the year for my job but when it is over and i go on winter break i am actually so excited for the sheer amount of fanfiction i’m about to consume

like i still haven’t gotten to read most of the works from 10 days of seblaine, i’m in the middle (almost at the end) of a 900k+ wolfstar fic, i actually can’t wait

[cafeleningrad]

Hiii ! Here some film ask : 1, 2, 7, 9, 15, 16

Merci beaucoup our tous tes questions, chèrie! :D 🎬

What’s the most depressing movie you’ve ever watched? Easy: Tyrannosaur (2011, directed by Paddy Considine)

2. What’s the most disturbing movie you’ve ever watched? Ooof, okay that's harder because I've some things that do definitely squick me out. For once I saw El perro andaluz way to early at the age of 11, and I still can't forget the moon-eye scene (I don't recommend looking this up, and if so with massive gore warning.) Given that I might not even have watched the most transformative horror movies yet, I think the movie making me feel the most squeamish was Happiness (1998, dir. Todd Solonoz) - which is not even a horror movie. But psychologically thrilling nonetheless. :D

7. A film you wish had a sequel? Phew, another taxing question. Mostly I like movies which manage to economically tell a story within their runtime. Unless their part of a series or saga. And even with these I think they should contain a logical tale within themselves. That's good story telling, knowing exactly how to tell everything properly. (Also sequels often are not... good - mostly.) Alright, enough rambling, if there was a movie I feel like wanting "more of this, please!", Nice guys (2016, dir. Shane Black) could've been such a fun buddy private eye dramedy series.

9. The most aesthetically pleasing movie you’ve ever watched? Uuuh, so many to choose from. I'm general I really love good photography and landscape shots, so even weaker Tyler Sheridan titles, and some of Scorsese's newer movies strike some aesthetical chords in me. There will be blood is generally a good movie (it has Pual Dano it it, yay!), some landscape shots are still burned into the back of my mind. The photography and background design was perhaps the only things that saved Maquia (2018, dir. Okada Maria) for me. Sorry to be such a weeb on main but The Adolescence of Utena (1999, dir. Ikuhara Kunihiko) is just absolutely fantastic visual direction, framing, colour symbolism, geometrical design, direction, theme, and animation skills are at their absolute peak in this movie. But as we are on the topic of anime, every Yen spend on Akira was worth the visual result. Tarsem Singh always creates gorgeous images, the costuming as story telling, the bright colours, the sets, an absolute treat. Edit: How did I forget about Loving Vincent (2027, directed by Hugh Welchman and Dorota Kobiela)?! One movie which doesn't have the most outstanding editing, or colours but still stands out because of the sheer absurdity of set design was Lucky number Slevin (2006, dir. Paul MacGuigan). There is an entire production process for movies. Did none say anything against these terrible wallpapers?! Their existence in the movie was deliberate but how did this decision come to be. I remain fascinated. (By the way the movie is fun, Lucy Liu is in it, yay!) Also, I am a simple woman: If a movie lives on delicious looking cooking scenes, I am all in!

15. A film everyone loves but you hate? Phew... I think for me there is this sense when a movie gets a lot of general hype how "great!", "fantastic!", and "genius!" it supposedly is, and then I watch it, and... it is well made. It s a good movie. In the sense that the crew knew their craft: Proper story telling, good build-up, good lighting, good sound, good costume, good acting. Over all a good work. In times of scraping for the bare minimum of course it's exciting to see a well put together work, and not Netflix slob to fill the screen and kill time. In comparison to another Rayn Reynolds Netflix paycheck work, Boy kills world looks like pure cinema. :/ Still, there is this weird sense of annoyance when a movie is good but no Park Chan Wook, and the fan adjectives are larger than the work itself. But the movie I really don't get the hype for is Mean Girls. Probably I was too old when I watched it, by virtue of being a non-US-citizen, the high school scenario doesn't make sense either. However the only reason I understood why people liked it was nostalgia ("it's so quotable" girl, even Morbious got quoted, the movie is still garbage). It is racist (when isn't Tina Fey), and lacked the actual depth, and larger insight why girls terrorize each other in school than the much better, much more thought through Heathers had. Don't get me wrong, everyone who likes it shall enjoy themsleves, it just a movie I absolutely do not get (if there're better works about such a topic in comparison as well)...

Edit: Oh wait, apparently, I depsise this movie so much I banned it from my conciousness: Seven (1995, dir. David Fincher). A dear friend of mine explained to me carefully how good the editing was. She is right. Yes Fincher is a good director but the material he directs is so often more about him despising other human beings - and the script of Seven is gross and gory for the sole purpose of making an edgelord edgy point how hopeless and bad people are, man. It's nowhere as deep as it wants to be. Given that I've watched other stuff of his, and how all his villains are put in bright colours, I am convinced Fincher must've been traumatized by his mother getting hit by a paint pot. I don't know how else to explain this drap colour grading. This is a movie I can barely be objective about anything.

16. A film you love and everybody hates? A cure for Wellness (2016, dir. Gore Verbinski). I don't know if it's exactly hated but it received poor reviews, and bombed at the box office. Still, I'd fun.

[jaimehwatson]

20 Questions for Writers

tagged by: @sybilius thank you! <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I'm currently sitting at 99! I'll have to do something a little special for my 100th :)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

214,959

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The ones I've written for the most are Our Flag Means Death, Warhammer 40K (mostly the Ciaphas Cain series, my favourite boy), Snowpiercer (the TV show), and Sharpe! But there are quite a few more I've written at least a one-shot for - I get inspired by a lot of different things, and I also love exchanges like Yuletide!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Restless Nights (OFMD)

You're the sun that makes me shine (OFMD)

Want to do something weird? (OFMD)

The Hidden Places Where The Fire Burns Hot And Bright (Stranger Things)

Sounds kind of dumb when I say it, but it's true: I would do anything for you (OFMD)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Almost always! I really appreciate nice comments so I make sure at least say thanks :)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

The first one that came to mind was one of my Sherlock Holmes fics, Some things you do just to see how bad they make you feel, which deals with Holmes's depression and drug use negatively affecting his relationship with Watson. It's a really sad one that I didn't come back to add a happier sequel to until a year later!

But I've written some pretty angsty Our Flag Means Death ones too, particularly I hope it stays dark forever, I hope the worst isn't over and It isn't that much fun, staring down a loaded gun

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think a lot of my fics are pretty happy! If I'm not writing something fucked-up and sad I'm usually writing a happy couple having good sex and a generally nice time. But if I had to try to pick one, maybe my little trilogy What makes Ed happy?, which gets a sweet Ed/Stede reunion at the end

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've fortunately avoided that so far! The comments I get are 99% lovely and maybe like 1% something kinda weird that maybe comes across a little bit negative but just makes me shrug my shoulders and say oh well

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Often! If there's any particular kind I gravitate towards it's probably characters slightly awkwardly but excitedly exploring a bit of light BDSM for the first time

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

One of the first fics I posted on Ao3 was a crossover between Death Note and The X-Files called The エクス-Files! (Translator's note: エクス means X) It was a really fun writing experience, and if that idea sounds fun to you at all, you should definitely check it out

But my craziest crossover (and maybe my only other one so far unless I'm forgetting something) is definitely my 2023 Yuletide fic Danger and Dance, in which Remington Steele and Laura Holt investigate a mystery involving DJ Crazy Times of "Planet of the Bass"!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, is that a thing people do?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't think so but I'd be honoured if someone did!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not yet co-written anything that's published anywhere, but a good friend and I once put quite a bit of effort into a story taking place in the universe of The Dark Crystal like a decade ago - now I want to dig that up again and see if it was any good, I remember we had fun with it!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Ciaphas Cain/Amberley Vail! The Ciaphas Cain books and Warhammer 40K in general were what really got me into writing fic regularly and participating in fandom more. Part of what made the ship so initially appealing to me, beyond just how much I like the characters, was that they're 100% canon but their relationship isn't the focus of the canon - you just get little hints and references to the fact that they're definitely fucking offscreen while the main thing going on is fighting aliens and shit. So it provides a great opportunity to speculate about what goes on when they're alone together and you don't see it, and how it might tie into their character development and the events of the canon storylines.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I mostly write a lot of shorter fic, so I don't really have any longer WIPs that gradually fizzled out the way I know some other writers struggle with. That being said, I do have plenty of sparse drafts that I started writing or outlining a little bit of and then never sat down and finished because I got distracted by some other idea. One that comes to mind was a Warhammer 40K fic that would have involved Cain and Yarrick meeting and getting involved in a Wild-West-style saloon shootout in space - fun idea but it never really went anywhere

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good at character voices, especially when I write fic for books I love and I can imitate the style of the narration

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I don't think my description is as good as my dialogue. A lot of my writing experience before I got into fic was in theatre and video games, two mediums where you're much less likely to have a narrator, so I don't have as much practice at it. I find it difficult sometimes to really get across the image in my head in a way that makes sense and flows naturally. But I do think I'm getting better at it all the time!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've never really done that beyond the occasional word here and there! If I was going to, I'd want it to be a language I can actually speak, and/or have a friend who speaks it look over it. Maybe one day I'll get to use my French skills in a fic but it hasn't happened yet!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

In the sense of actually deciding "I am going to write fanfic and put it on the internet for other fans," it was the Pathologic games! But in a more general sense, I've been making up stories about my favourite characters since I was a little kid. A while back my mom found something I wrote in high school based on Lord of the Flies that was really cute

20. Favorite fic you've written?

My proudest accomplishment is my OFMD wrestling AU, Tonight on Ring of Revenge!

Tagging @augustmourn @grandmastattoo @the-girl-with-the-algebra-book @scyllas-revenge if you feel like it!

[bokunosimpfiction]

Yandere!Karl Heisenberg x Reader

Synopsis: Heisenberg kidnaps the reader. And she’s pissed about it. And so is he. Turns out there’s a lot more to it than it seems, tw: kidnapping I’m not tagging for violence because it’s less graphic than even the mild stuff in canon. Like reader gets a concussion and a dislocated arm, that’s it.

A/N: first time ever writing for Resident Evil. I haven’t even played the games, only watched a play-through and immediately fell in love with this hobo. Honestly, there’s a lot of room to make a sequel or some more from this but I have commitment issues and it probably won’t happen.

Oh and one last thing! Do you think I should add resident evil: village to my fandoms I write for or no. Let me know please!

             It’s dark in your small cottage, claustrophobic with the way you stumble to the front door as fast as you can. You try to take deep breaths, but you can’t, not with someone chasing you. You cut through the kitchen, and when he reaches out to grab you, you slam the door to a cabinet as hard as you can. You can hear his pained yell.

             “Don’t make this harder than it has to be, (y/n),” he says.

             “I’ll make it as hard as I damn please!” You put your hand on the handle to the front door, twist and right before you manage to open it, a body slams into yours and you hear your arm pop. Loudly. And it burns at the elbow like someone poured gasoline on it and set it on fire.

             You can hear his heavy breathing and feel the warm air on the crown of your head. “You put up a good fight, I’ll give you that much.” He presses his body further into yours, and you feel everything. The toned muscle under a layer of fat, the harsh fabric of his shirt and jacket, and the bulge that presses into the small of your back.

             “You’re so small,” he coos, like he’s talking to a dog, “I can’t wait to break you.”

             You manage to wiggle one arm free and jab him in the side as hard as you can with your elbow. You hear him say oof under his breath, and you take this as the opportunity to press your foot into the door and push back into him as hard as you can, to at least get him to stumble back.

             It doesn’t work, he just leans his whole-body weight on you and uses one hand to smash your head into the door. He could have done it harder, you reckon, but it still hurts like a mother fucker. “Shut the fuck up before I do something I regret.”

             “Like you don’t already regret breaking into my house and trying to kidnap me? Like you don’t regret slamming me into my door and dislocating my elbow? What are you going to do to me that you’ll regret? Huh?”

             He looks down at you through those yellow glasses of his, light from the glass peephole reflecting off of them but his hat shading the rest of his face. “I said shut the fuck up!” He presses your head even further into the door, and your temple digs into the frame. It hurts, and your eyes water from the pain.

             “Who even are you?!” You end up shouting. His grip loosens a little bit, just enough for you to move your head off the door frame and onto the actual door. “I’ve never met you in my goddamn life and you break into my house, say you love me, and try to kidnap me!”

             Something in him breaks, you can tell, the outline of his features look crestfallen. “You don’t know who I am?”

             “No… I don’t. And here you are in my house, chasing me around like I’m some goddamn animal you’re hunting.” Your eyes water. “I know you don’t mean a damn word you said this entire time.”

             “Shut your goddamn trap woman!” His grip on your hair tightens. “I love you and we both know it; I know everything about you.”

             “So, you’re a stalker? Huh, didn’t think I was pretty enough to have one.”

             “I knew you had a mouth on you, and it was attractive till it was pointed in my direction.” His voice is low and gravelly at this point, like a thin string that’s pulled taut and about to snap.

             “Well get used to it you fu-” You don’t get to finish your sentence, because a piece of metal from his hammer slams you hard in the face, knocking you out cold.

             When you wake up, it’s hard to open your eyes. It’s too bright and the room is spinning when you move your head up. That must be one hell of a bump on your forehead. You go to feel it, only to find you hands chained up to a metal pipe on the wall. Your feet are too, but that chain is a lot slacker.

             You’re lying down on the floor, a cheap scratchy blanket separating you from rough, worn down cement. It’s still hard and cold, but it didn’t scratch up your skin, so that’s something to be grateful for. You look around the room, only to find an old tv, that’s on, and playing static. That’s what was so bright, you realize.

             Suddenly the noise from the t.v. stops, and you hear a voice. It’s still sounds like static, but it’s audible enough to understand the words and recognize the voice. It’s the same guy who kidnapped you. You don’t really process what he’s saying, it’s just noise to you, and you close your eyes and curl up as best as you can. Maybe you’ll wake up, and everything will be okay.

             “Quit ignoring me girlie.”

             You snap out of your daydreaming. The days of that warm bed and leaky bathroom faucet are over, and this cruel situation is your reality for the time being.

             “Okay. Okay. But just quiet down my head hurts.”

             “I’d be sorry, but you brought that upon yourself,” he says.

             You can’t help but be snarky, you’re tired and already sick of this shit. “I’m sorry you don’t have the self-control to not kidnap people and knock them unconscious via flying pieces of metal.”

             “Touché.” You hear back.

             “Can you at least get me some Tylenol for my head or something.”

             “Why should I? After all the attitude you’ve given me, I should just leave you in there to starve.” Looks like he knows how to be snarky too.

             “Because you were the one who hit me in the head and locked me in here?”

             “Apologize and I’ll consider it.”

             You go back to your curled up position. “I guess I’ll just starve down here then.”

             The t.v. cuts off again, or you just tune him out, just run your hands along the chains to try and find a lock. You find the one attached to your left ankle and begin to plot your escape. Maybe you could pick the lock with a bobby pin? You run your hands through your hair, not only to find that it was down, but all of them were removed.

             You run your hands down your pajama pants. Maybe you have something in your pockets? They also turn up empty.

               “Are you looking for something to pick the lock with?” You hear from the t.v. You turn back to look at it, only to see his face. He’s not wearing his glasses, and he’s taken off his worn-out bucket hat, so you can see his untamed salt and pepper hair. “I took the liberty of searching your person while you were knocked out. I highly doubt you’ll find something to pick the lock with.”

             “You’re an asshole, you know that.” You find yourself saying. To be fair, you probably shouldn’t, considering that he: is holding you hostage, threatening to leave you to starve, and is clearly a psychopath, despite his claims that he loves you.

             “Calm down, you know it makes me upset to see you mad.”

             You can’t help but raise your voice at him. “Quit fucking taunting me! You won this stupid ass game. You kidnapped me! You can come down here and kill me now!”

             “You think I wanna kill you?” He asks, you can tell he’s just as furious as you are. He chuckles lightly. “You know I love you. I did this for your own good! There are people out there. People who want to taint you and your innocence! People who want to hurt you!”

             “I can handle myself just fine! I had before your psycho ass came along and kidnapped me!” Your furious, desperately searching for a weak point on the pipe with your hands while you yell at the t.v.

             “And what would have happened if I didn’t?” He asks you, “lady supersized bitch in the castle would have gotten to you first… I can’t have that.”

             “I’m sorry who?” You ask. Suddenly things have gotten more confusing.

             “I’m not the only one who’s after you,” he clarifies. “You think I’m the one who’s a psychopath, there’s a woman out there who wants to drink your blood and eat your flesh! And monster that wants to drown you and swallow you whole-”

             “Slow down! I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about!”

             “Don’t interrupt me! I want what’s best for you!” You can hear him take a deep breath. “I’m going to bring you upstairs and explain everything. And you’re going to behave, am I clear?”

             You just nod your head.

             “Good. Now stop trying to find a weak point on that pipe to get loose before I get down there. It has carbon monoxide in there, you’ll poison yourself before you get to that door.”

             You immediately stop twisting the connector and drop your hands to your sides.

             “Good girl…” His praise makes you want to vomit. “Now stay still while I come get you.”

             When he comes down and opens that iron door and unceremoniously tosses you over his shoulder, you can’t help but comment on it. “Am I a bag of potatoes to you?”

             “Don’t complain, I could be like that Dimitrescu bitch and turn you into wine.”

             You shut up immediately and grasp the back of his coat for balance. You don’t know why, but his empty threats scare you immensely. You watch the hallways blur into one another, trying to see if you can find a window, or an escape rout of some sort, hell, even a vent he couldn’t fit in but you could would work well.

             He smacks your thigh. Not hard, but enough for a slight sting and to get your attention. “We’re in the center of the factory, there’s no need for you to be tracking an escape route, especially because you won’t be leaving any time soon.”

             Eventually, you end up in a small office like space, with a desk, a cork board with several pictures of people on it, and a large grate that leads to a tunnel downwards. He pulls the metal chair out of the corner with his powers and places you in the chair. “Stay.”

             “So…” He turns towards the cork board. “Since your out of town, I’ll explain the run-down-“

             “I don’t really care for the details.” You stand up from the chair and go to walk towards him, but he crosses the room in a second and slams you back down.

             “I told you to stay in that goddamn chair!” He opens his mouth to explain but a whirring noise starts out of nowhere. It’s loud, obnoxious, and coming from the vent. He opens it. “Shut your goddamn trap!”

             “Anyhow, (Y/N),” he starts, “the other three lords decided that they’re interested in you, for whatever their reasons are. I’m assuming they want to kill you.”

             “That’s a veeeeeery extreme assumption.” You roll your eyes, and prop your head on your hands.

             “Well two of them are well know for turning people into dolls and drinking their blood,” he says casually, “it’s only a fair assumption they want to do the same with you.”

             “I’m sorry they what?”

             He turns to you, surprised for a moment that you don’t know what he’s talking about. “Super-sized bitch over here,” a sharp piece of metal lands on the photo of a pale, middle aged woman with bold red lipstick and a black hat, “is one of the other three lords, known for drinking the blood of girls like yourself. Wouldn’t suggest meeting her, she’s not that pleasant.”

             “Known for?”

             “Sort of, most of the towns people don’t know,” he turns to you and leans on the table by the cork board, “they’re too busy worshipping Mother Miranda.”

             “I’ve heard her name before,” you say, “doesn’t she protect the town?”

             You can sense the anger you caused before you can take it back.

             “That Miranda bitch doesn’t protect anybody from shit. She’s the one causing all the issues, kidnapping people and mutating them, killing them and throwing their lives away like table scraps.” You slams his hand on the table and you visibly flinch. He quickly apologizes.

             “You keep mentioning ‘the other three lords’ how many are there, and who’s the one your excluding in that statement?” You question as soon as you get the chance. He’s talking, loudly, quickly and it’s filling up the space in the room with an anxious sort of white noise.

             “Pardon me,” he says, and waltzes over, almost over-dramatically. He brings your hand to his lips and places a light kiss. You can feel his stubble and chapped lips on the top of your hand. He desperately needs to use chap-stick. “I’m Heisenberg, one of the four lords, but you can call me Karl.”

             “Okay… Karl.” You test the name out on your tongue. “What are you going to do with me, now that I’m here?”

             He gets down on one knee in front of you, still holding your hand. “Oh (Y/N), I’m going to treat you how you deserve, like a princess.”

[ragingpancake]

I Got You

A/N: I watched Echoes the other night and frankly, I just needed to write this. Sort of an unofficial sequel to The Road to Nowhere Leads to Me.

They’re almost back to Atlantis from the mainland when Rodney realizes that maybe something’s a bit off with Sheppard – er… John (and he has to remind himself to start calling Shep—John by his first name because this whole… thing between this is still relatively new and it’s probably not social acceptable for one to refer to one’s boyfriend by last name only). No one would ever really call him chatty, but this level of quietness is almost unsettling, especially when Rodney tries to goad him into some gentle bantering and he’s just not having it. “What’s wrong with you?” He asks finally as the city is just coming into view. “Huh?” Rodney squints, mouth turning down in a frown. “I certainly didn’t stutter, Colonel.” Maybe that’ll get his attention.

He waits a moment, and then two. Nope. Nada. The lights are on but nobody’s home. “… John.”

At that, John lifts a hand and presses the heel of it against one of his eyes, wincing and Rodney notices for the first time how not well the other actually looks. “I’ve just… got this killer headache that won’t go away,” he says and it actually sounds pained in a way that Rodney isn’t quite used to from him. He watches as John squints at the city in the distance. “Maybe I should take over?” For a split second, he thinks John might be considering it before he shakes his head. “Nah, s’alright. I know how much you struggle to fly in a straight line.” There’s the smallest hint of teasing in his voice but Rodney doesn’t rise to the challenge because it’s such a weak attempt on John’s part that he knows he’d absolutely assassinate John with a comeback and where’s the fun in that? “Are you sure? Because, because I’ve been in one of these things when it’s crashed into the water, if you remember correctly, and I really have no intention of repeating that, so if you aren’t feeling well, I’d rather just--.” “Rodney,” John says and now, there’s a trace of a bite to his tone. Wow. Hostile. “Okay, I’m just saying--.” “I know,” John says. “But it’s fine. I’ve got it.” Rodney resigns himself to believing that for about a split second until he glances over again and notices the blood dripping from John’s nose. “John--.” “Dammit, Rodney! I said I’m--.” And whatever lie John was about to tell dies on his lips as he slumps over, head smacking the console. Immediately, Rodney leaps into action, grabbing John before he slips out of the pilot’s chair to ease him down onto the floor, his head lulling to the side sickeningly. “Jumper 1, this is Atlantis, come in. Your course has drastically shifted.” Radek’s voice comes through the comm system in the jumper and Rodney suddenly realizes that no one is, you know, actually piloting. “I need a medical team to the Jumper Bay. Sheppard is down, I repeat, Sheppard is down.” He scrambles into the pilot’s chair and manages to jerk it upwards approximately three point five seconds before the jumper crashes into the ocean. “Rodney?” It’s Elizabeth’s voice now, and she sounds about as worried as Rodney feels. “Carson’s here. What happened?” “Can’t talk now! Trying to fly and not, you know, crash and send us both to our deaths in the horrifically vast ocean. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.” “Rodney!” “Just have them standing by!” He cuts off the comm system and glances down at John who has not yet regained consciousness. “Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay.” It becomes his mantra as he somehow manages to navigate the jumper back to the city and into the bay. He barely has time to lower the door before a med team is swarming in and before Rodney has a chance to so much as breathe, they’re gone, John with them. There’s a small bit of blood on the floor from where John was laying and Rodney has to work very hard not to throw up. ---- It’s dark in the hallway, save for the faint blue glow emanating from the center of the wall closest to him. He reaches out, hand pressing against it and he can feel the thrum of hurt intensifying, adding to what’s already there in his head. He staggers at the force of it, drops to his knees and presses the heels of his hands against his eyes in an attempt to stave off the pounding of his head. But this isn’t his hurt, he realizes after a moment. It’s hers, and that thought alone is enough to force him back to his feet, hand reaching out to touch that blue light again. This time, he feels an almost burning heat fanning out from the center of his hand as the blue expands and he watches as it begins to creep across the wall, almost as if it’s beckoning him to follow. He’s never been good at following orders and he has the record to prove it, but he finds his feet moving, seemingly of their own accord, allowing the glow to lead him down the darkened hallway for what seems like forever until it stops, finally, at a room he doesn’t quite recognize. “Why am I here?” Because I need your help, she answers

back, the words cool and gentle within his mind. Find me, John Sheppard. Before it’s too late. “Before what’s too late? What are you trying to tell me?” But she’s already receding from his mind and all he’s left with is a light so bright that penetrates the darkness as John opens his eyes. --- Rodney’s there when John finally comes to under the bright lights of the infirmary. “Oh thank God,” he says as he slumps back into the chair, running a hand across his forehead. “Far be it from me to say I told you so, but--.” He doesn’t get a chance to finish before John is sitting up so quickly that it makes Rodney a bit dizzy, kicking the blankets off of his legs. “Whoa, whoa, whoa.” He stands up, pressing a hand to John’s shoulder to ease him back down onto the mattress and Ronon is on the other side of the bed, doing the same. “Where do you think you’re goin’?” The Satedan asks in his natural rumble. “I have to help her,” John says and Rodney suddenly finds himself a bit miffed at that. “Help who?” He asks and if he sounds a little pissy, he thinks he’s probably allowed because you know, he’s the one been sitting at John’s bedside for the last several hours, worried very much about the possibility of brain damage and now that he’s awake, the first thing he mentions is some second rate harlot and--. “The city,” he rasps and he grabs Ronon’s wrist, trying to force it off of him. “Something’s wrong with the city.” “What? The city is fine,” Rodney says, but he’s reaching for his tablet anyway, pulling up the city schematics to scan over quickly, searching for any indication that something was not right. “See?” He says, and he turns the tablet to face John so he can see for himself. “The back up teams cleaned everything up nicely, there’s absolutely nothing that would indicate--.” “Rodney,” he says and there’s an almost wild look in his eyes as he glances up at the scientist, seemingly pleading with him to just listen. “They missed something. There’s something wrong, we have to--.” “Aye,” Carson greets, a smile on his face. “There ya are. Ya had us quite worried there for a bit. I’d still like to run a few scans--.” Rodney tunes him out as he searches John’s face and he supposes that there is a possibility that something was missed. It’s a huge city, many parts that they’ve yet to explore and the Wraith attack had been devastating. He rationalizes that this could also possibly be attributed to some sort of brain injury, what with the bleeding and the passing out and everything but something in John’s eyes gives him pause. Whatever’s brought him to this conclusion, John seems to truly believe that there’s something wrong with their city, with their home and while Rodney isn’t apt to act without actual evidenced based data, he finds that he can’t quite let this go without investigating. “Stop,” he says, holding up a hand to Carson. “We need to go.” “Go? What are ye on about?” Carson asks, clearly annoyed at the interruption. “We still don’ know what caused the bleedin’ an’--.” “Something’s wrong with the city,” Rodney says, echoing John’s previous statement. “We have to go.” Ronon glances at Rodney from across John’s bed and when Rodney gives a barely there nod, Ronon crowds Carson, gently ushering him away. “Sorry, doc.” “Oh, ye can’t be serious! Rodney!” “Can you stand?” Rodney asks John, and he reaches for him, carefully like he’s not sure where it’s okay to touch, especially in public, but John’s hand grabs his wrists and he squeezes gently. “Thank you.” “If you really want to thank me,” Rodney says dryly, “you can do so by not passing out on me again during what is sure to be a long trip around the city. “I’ll do my best,” John answers solemnly and Rodney supposes that’s as good as it gets. --- It’s dark outside, the Lantean sun having set several hours ago. They’ve split up into groups, Ronon and Teyla, Lorne and McMasters, John and Rodney. They’ve had absolutely no luck in finding anything of consequence and Rodney is trying very hard not to lose his temper because he’s

tried to show John on the tablet several times now that everything still shows all is well, but John is insistent. Desperate even, only growing moreso the farther away they get from the heart of the city. “Teyla, Ronon, this is McKay. Anything?” “No, Rodney,” Teyla answers back almost immediately. “It seems as though everything is still working as it should over this way.” “Lorne?” “All good here, doc. I’m gonna suggest we call it, at least for the night. Some of these labs haven’t properly been cleared yet, I’d like to--.” “No,” John says and when Rodney glances over to give him an exasperated glare, he realizes that John’s nose is bleeding again. “John, what are you--!” “This is the hallway,” he tells Rodney, reaching up to wipe the blood away, smearing it to his cheek. “This is… she needs us…” He reaches out and touches the wall and Rodney watches as it pulsates under his hand, a blue glow flickering to life. He’s always known that Atlantis liked John better than she liked anyone else, has seen it in the way rooms light up for him, the effortless way in which John activates all her tech, but this… this is something else. She’s actually communicatingwith him, he knows it. “Three levels above the east pier,” Rodney says into his comm. “Teyla—” “We are already on our way,” and over the radio, Rodney can hear the heavy footfalls of their feet against the floor. Rodney doesn’t realize that John has walked away, not at first, until he turns to see the glow halfway down the hall, barely illuminating John’s figure as it guides him further into the darkness. Rodney follows, and suddenly, John stops outside of a door. “Is this it?” Rodney asks, but he already knows the answer to the question. He slides his hand over the crystal, but the door doesn’t budge, not that Rodney expected it to. “Okay,” he says, and his voice is gentle now, perhaps more gentle than it’s ever been, but there’s something about the pinched look on John’s face that honestly, truly worries him. It reminds him of how he looked on the jumper, right before he, you know, passed out. He checks his tablet, but he knows it’s a moot point because the city is off-line down here, which is why they never knew there was a problem. The sensors just don’t reach this far, but he thinks he should be able to still get the door open. “John,” Rodney says, and there’s no response. “John.” But John seems not to hear him as he reaches for the door, fingers gripping the edge as he tries, desperately, to pull it open. “Oh, oh. Yes.” Rodney puts the tablet down carefully and he moves to the other side, glancing at John to follow his lead and as John pulls again, the noise that escapes him sends a shiver down Rodney’s spine. He screams as the door finally slides open and now, Rodney notices the blood trickling out of John’s ear, just in time to grab John as he crumples, guiding him to the floor. “Rodney!” Teyla’s voice echoes down the hallway, and Rodney calls back, voice nearing on hystericalas he situates himself below John to pillow his head on his lap. “Here! We’re here!” Ronon comes into view first, gun aimed, followed quickly by Teyla. “We heard screaming, what—John?” “It’s Atlantis!” Rodney says, “She’s using John to communicate, there’s something--.” Ronon needs to hear no more as he slips through the opened door and a second later, there’s the sound of laser fire. Rodney’s petting over John gently, shaking him gently, pleading with him to wake up but it’s to no avail. Teyla has disappeared inside of the room that John brought them to and Rodney risks a fraction of a moment to lean down, letting his lips brush against John’s forehead. “Please, please, please wake up.” John resolutely does not. --- “Did we do it?” He’s somewhere quiet and he’s alone, but he can feel her around him, leaving him warm and comforted, reminding him very much of being wrapped up in his mother’s embrace when he was seven and had the flu. He remembers that because before coming to Atlantis, it was the last time he felt well and

truly loved because she’d died less than three weeks later. You did, and he closes his eyes, letting her warmth wash over him. The pain is gone, both his and hers, he realizes and there’s a feeling of contriteness that settles inside of him, like she’s saying she’s sorry and he guesses she means for basically hijacking his mind. But, as unsettling as it should be, he finds that he’s always known she was there, really. The gentle thrumming, the quiet humming of her power he feels tucked away somewhere in the back of his mind. She wasn’t trying to hurt him, he knows. It’s not just his found family that cares for him, not just Rodney… but her too. There will be no lasting damage, she promises him and the warmth begins to recede, just a bit. To either you or me. But please tell Doctor McKay not to be too angry with me. The darkness is fading now with her and he’s not really sure why she thinks Rodney would be upset with her. He tries to ask, but the feeling of a gentle hand in his hair, a quiet murmuring of voices, breaks through and John closes his eyes, letting it guide him out of the dark. Thank you once again, John Sheppard. You saved us all. --- “—still don’t understand how we didn’t know it was here,” Elizabeth says and Rodney has to fight not to roll his eyes because they’ve been over this, he’s explained it ad nauseum. “The life signs detector is tied in directly with the city’s power grid,” he says exasperatedly and he thinks about reaching for his tablet as a nice visual aide but somewhere along the way, his hand had settled into John’s hair and it’s so soft that he kind of doesn’t want to pull it away. He doesn’t know if it brings John any comfort, but it brings him some, feeling the warmth of the other under his hand and damn if he’ll let anyone take that away from him. Even at the sake of his own sanity for having to go through this again. “That part of the city still doesn’t get any power. No power means it can’t communicate with us. We never would’ve known.” “… never would’ve known what?” The raspy voice from the bed asks and Rodney very nearly topples out of his chair as he yanks his hand back, gaping down at John, and “oh, thank god!” “Wraith,” Ronon says by way of explanation, like it’s the most natural thing in the world and Rodney supposes maybe it is. After all, at least for right now, it’s the Wraith that’s proved to be their biggest pain in the ass. “Technically, a Wraith transmitter,” Rodney corrects and he can’t quite tear his eyes away. “The Wraith was.. well, indisposed, as it was. How are you feeling?” “What d’y’mean ‘indisposed’?” “It blew itself up when it realized that the room was heavily shielded and that the beacon couldn’t get through,” Ronon says and Rodney glares at him, because he’sthe one who likes to do all the explaining, thank you very much. “Blew a hole in the wall almost the size of a jumper.” “Yes, well,” Rodney says, steering the conversation back, “somehow, there was some sort of a fail safe built into the city’s infrastructure. There was a kind of a force field where the wall used to be, not unlike that of the cells, but with no power, it wouldn’t have held much longer. When it failed, that thing would’ve sent our coordinates to every Wraith hive ship in the galaxy and well, the ruse would’ve been up. But enough about that, how are you feeling?” “Kinda like I got hit by a truck,” John says and he shifts on the bed to sit up a bit more. “The transmitter’s been taken care of?” “Blasted into almost as many pieces as the Wraith,” Ronon says proudly and Teyla squeezes his arm gently. “We are very glad that you are awake, John,” she says diplomatically, “but perhaps it would be best if we let you rest?” “Whaddya mean? That’s all he’s been doing,” Ronon scoffs, but Teyla tugs at his arm anyway, bless her. “Come,” she says. “Elizabeth, perhaps I could help you in your office, go over the schedule for the teams set to search the rest of the city?” And whatever look she shares with Elizabeth has her nodding, turning to give them both a

smile. “Of course, thank you Teyla,” she says and she reaches out for John, squeezing his arm gently. “Good to have you back with us, John.” John lifts a hand in response as everyone filters out, leaving him and Rodney alone. “You’re an idiot,” Rodney says, just because it’s expected of him, has become part of their standard routine whenever John lands himself in the infirmary. “For what?” “Oh, I don’t know, for letting a sentient city scramble your brains.” “She said she’s sorry, you know,” John says and Rodney rolls his eyes. “Of course she did. And when did we decide that she was a sheafter all? I suppose it makes sense, what with the way women across twogalaxies fawn over you, the famous Colonel Kirk.” “It’s okay to be jealous, Rodney.” “Excuse me? I am not jealous! I just think it’s a little funny that--.” “She even said she hopes you’re not too mad at her,” John interrupts. “What? Why would she care about that?” “I dunno,” he shrugs and he lays back against the pillow, closing his eyes. “Guess she knows how important you are to me. Probably wouldn’t wanna get in your bad graces…” He still can’t get used to this, this… thing. Where they care about each other, but have finally matured enough emotionally to say it out loud. “Yes well,” Rodney sniffs, and settles his hand back against John’s hair, “I’ll forgive her this time. But you tell that harlot--!” “Rodney,” John groans, “she said she’s sorry.” “Alright, alright,” he says and he leans forward, maybe a bit hesitantly, before he presses his lips against John’s. “I’m just… glad you’re okay.” “Yeah,” John agrees. “Me too, buddy. Now how about less talking and more hair petting?” Frankly, there’s nowhere else Rodney would rather be. “Go back to sleep, dummy.” “With pleasure.”

[feather-dancer]

Tales of Arcadia Fanfic Recommendations - Part 6

I do admittedly have things left to read in my tabs I’d normally prefer to clear out before posting one of these but when you sail past the 30 mark I think it’s about time to get it out my drafts, yeah? Most importantly means this will be out before Rise of the Titans comes and emotionally destroys us all.

Needless to say soon as this is posted I give it 24 hours before 7 starts, we’ve got some amazing writers in this fandom and there’s a couple I juuust want one more chapter before I feel I can recommend it. Hope you find something you enjoy :)

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5

If at all interested in my own writing you can find it here!

General Trollhunters

Romeo, Question Mark - Jim is figuring himself out and has a question for Toby though nervous of how he might react. Honestly the support Aromantic’s need when they’re either questioning or coming out, Toby is a gem.

By The Book - After his dad left changing his world Jim had moments in his life where he needed to wrangle things in a way he could understand them with some moral support along the way that wasn’t there to do it for him, just give a light nudge the right direction. Comes with light Jilaire fluff.

That I Could Fear a Door - Jim was pulled from the Darklands whole but you cannot escape the trauma of your experiences quite so easily. It will take a little time, a lot of patience and perhaps the right ear to listen but with it can come hope.

Lest Back the Awful Door Should Spring - Sequel to the above, Jim’s capture to be sentenced by the tribunal echoes his experiences in the Darklands a little too closely sending all his careful progress hurtling back in one fell swoop. Is it any wonder he chose a false freedom that Unkar offered?

Façade - The confirmation that Mr. Strickler is not the man you thought he was probably was not going to be an easy one, Jim’s thoughts sit ill after that dinner.

Fashion - All changelings take root somewhere in a human life before their changeling one succeeds it and Nomura is no different. She felt love she could not understand and the ache of loss will follow for as she meanders through this world by the Whisper Man’s orders and her own volition of needing to belong somewhere. She will try her hand with the humans and the trolls, paint the road with blood as much as indulging herself with the arts and even risking her heart until everything leads her to Arcadia’s doorstep.

In Deep Trouble - What happened in the Deep during Season 2?

Aftermath - Just after the finale of Season 2 the Market trolls are forced to run leaving their homes behind and follow the Trollhunter they had dismissed so many times into the great unknown before them.

Don’t think - Jim weighs up his options and attempts to settle his thoughts before making the final decision whether or not to go through with using Merlin’s potion.

Nocturne for a Trollhunter - Jim learns a new hobby that gives him another way to relax that doesn’t involve cooking, one that follows him beyond Arcadia.

The Asteroid - A rare 3Below fic for my lists if centered on a certain hedge witch and Wizard. The end of the world is coming but not by Morgana’s hand and Merlin certainly never warned Douxie about it so if this truly is the end then it’s the best time to bring your loved ones close so you won’t be going out alone. Yes it’s Zouxie.

A bright future so it seemed (but that light grew a little less bright) - Claire’s parents (Or more specifically Ophelia) set her on the perfectionist’s path early, even a little slip can feel like the end of the world

Rest, Master Jim - You might be able to escape the Darklands but you cannot escape the consequences of being trapped there for so long as easily.

General Wizards

Not Found - So why did neither Douxie or Archie find the two remaining changelings in Arcadia or bring back the sole Akiridion when Merlin asked?

Place of Power - A lovely bit of shameless Zouxie fluff in that brief period the gang was at Hex Tech before the plot came to get them.

Bitter Water - Only two of the old team remain in Arcadia and those were Jim and Krel, the rest having left to pursue educational pursuits and in one particular case kept away for Nari’s safety. For the Akiridion he is still here with reminders of his heritage and what it took to have this life on earth chasing him all the way. It’s always good to have friends with a listening ear and hot chocolate.

Together, Dearest - The very act of resting is a potential invitation for nightmares and Nari is no different but when once more in the waking world you will find you’re not alone, there are hugs available.

The Night Belongs To Us - Lovingly described Skraelroc fluff during their long hunt for Merlin and the strangeness that can be observed on clearer nights.

Nineteen Plus Nine Hundred, Give Or Take - 900 years is a long time by anyone’s standards but perhaps during that Douxie can figure out how to truly live.

Twelfth Century Wizard, Twenty-First Century Witch - The follow up to the above, when you’ve lived a long and interesting life things can still pop up in odd ways... Even if you haven’t quite mastered the sacred art of texting yet.

ERAS TÚ (It was you). | Tales of Arcadia One-Shot - Would you want to live forever if it meant leaving everyone behind? Jilaire.

the only way for us to go - From his rescue from the streets of Camelot to the eventual guardian of this realm, Douxie has come a very, very long way. Through the frustrations of trying to learn magic, the belittling of others, the faith of Morgana and the power of music his experiences throughout 900 years truly make him what he is.

lay down your head - Even the mightiest can be plagued with the not so humble migraine. Skraelroc fluff.

Stricklake

Merry Christmas, Doctor Lake - Some Christmas gifts are worth going all out for and getting your friends and family to help out to make it extra special.

Grocery Run - After the incident where Merlin dismissed Strickler for being a changeling it is time for an excuse to get out the house for a bit and have a frank discussion about their relationship, the future beyond the incoming battle and lingering insecurities of two worlds colliding.

Alternate Universe

Fashionista, How Do You Look? - An AU that very much takes the term very literally here where everyone is human, Skrael, Bellroc and Nari are fashion designers plus many other ToA characters we know and love are either in the industry in some way themselves or on the fringes because of their jobs/who they know. Sometimes you work with catty bitches and want to kick back and watch the fireworks you know? Contains friends to almost to enemies to friends to maybe we’ll get our shit together this time but the odds aren’t great Skraelroc. There’s also a Zouxie oneshot in this collection that was a gift for meee because of the corner I dug in the AU.

Atlas, Fallen - When a star falls from the sky it is a punishment so when Atlas suddenly finds himself amongst the humans he had observed from above for countless ages in a flesh body like theirs he fears his Mother is punishing him and unable understand what he did wrong. While trying to find his way back home he gets a crash course in what it’s like to be human making friends along the way. Slow burn Jilaire.

she once was a true love of mine - I put this under the AU section even though it wavers between that and not, a mixture of classical Arthurian mythos and the glimpses of the Camelot in Tales of Arcadia where one kingdom collapses from war another strengthens by taking their princess as queen. While Arthur might have turned her head once it is the sibling that seems to be catching Gwen’s eye of late as much as her thoughts. Morgwen but in the department of pining.

Pulled From The Ocean - AU doesn’t quite fit this one but it feels a bit more fitting than general. A little oneshot snapshot of Jim living with deafness and the contrast of one world that falls easily into supporting that whereas the other tries their best but it makes the slip ups sting even more.

you are a stranger here, why have you come? - Fate is a funny old thing, something happens a little bit differently such as a father not leaving alone and everything can change so drastically. Nari’s fondness for children strikes again and this time it involves a 5-year old Jim Lake Jr. ending in the Order’s care and their foray into found family. Somehow Jim is even more of a disaster and as likely surmised from the fact I write this trope myself I am very weak for it.

go into your local forest and you will find a friend and a boy - Toby was unlucky in the friend department and by the time he is ten he still feels miserable and lonely having to endure Steve’s increasing bullying all the while. This is of course until he finds a blue half-troll hiding out the daylight hours munching cans in the local woods...

[pair-annoyed]

Anime I Watched This Fall

My first semester of college is officially over and the December holidays are upon us! I hoped to make one of these posts sooner, but I have been incredibly busy with schoolwork. Now that things have slowed down, let’s take sometime to reflect on things I’ve watched. 

These anime are listed in chronological order and encompass everything I’ve watched from 9/1/2020 - 12/15/2020

Like always, they will be rated on a 1-10 scale; 1 meaning complete garbage, 10 meaning masterpiece. I will offer my thoughts on what I did/didn’t like about each show!

1. The God of High School - 6/10 

Despite the stellar animation from MAPPA and my high expectations, I was really disappointed by how this series was treated. Most of the story’s crucial elements were handled poorly. I finished this series feeling more confused about the plot than when I first began. The power system is really cool, but poorly explained. More time should have been spent on exposition and world building for this series, instead the fights were given the most screen time. 

2.  Doukyuusei - 7/10 

I really liked the style of Doukyuusei. Granted, this was another movie I chose to watch primarily because of the hype surrounding it. The dynamic between Kusakabe and Sajou is an interesting one, and I also enjoy how the movies different acts were separated by the seasons. However, there's nothing that really sets Doukyuusei apart from other romance movies, its a little generic. Still, I enjoyed it nonetheless. 

3.  Re:Zero kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu 2nd Season - 8/10 

My opinions on Re:Zero’s second season are biased. This was, by far, the sequel I was most hyped for during the summer/fall anime season. I was so happy to see the story’s continuation and I’m looking forward to the season’s second part coming sometime in January. Re:Zero is one of my all time favorite series because of the way it handles it characters and power dynamics. I also really enjoy the show’s psychological aspects. If you haven’t already, give Re:Zero a try! 

4. Saint☆Oniisan (Movie + OVA) - 8/10

This was a wonderful comedy. I wasn’t sure how the subject of Jesus and Buddha living together would be tackled, but it was handled wonderfully. I was laughing for pretty much the entire movie. I love the art style and little references to both Buddhism and Christianity, plus the incorporation of Japanese culture. Saint Oniisan is a bright comedy, with two eccentric main characters. If you like a show that doesn’t take itself too seriously, and need a good laugh, I can’t recommend this more.

5. Clannad: After Story - 10/10 

Never, while watching anime, did I cry as much as I did while watching Clannad: After Story. I didn’t realize how much I related to Okazaki until I saw him grow up in After Story. I was left sobbing, especially after episode 18. I still, to this day, cannot listen to the Dango song without tearing up. The original Clannad is nothing special, but the continuation of its story its something heartfelt, emotional, and down-to-earth. I love Kyoto Animation with all my heart, and Clannad made me appreciate everything the studio has done just a little bit more. Thank you Clannad, for reminding me about the kind of person I strive to be. 

6. Nakitai Watashi wa Neko wo Kaburu - 5.5/10

The art in A Whisker Away was beautiful. The story itself, however, is nothing too enjoyable. I found it difficult to like our protagonist or her love interest. Nothing about this movie is inherently memorable. The emotional climax came far too early which made the second half of the film seem long and drawn out.  All in all, the movie has a wonderful concept, I just believe it could have been so much more emotional than it was. When I watch a move, I like to empathize with the characters. It’s difficult to do when the characters aren’t given the proper exposition to be empathized with. 

7.  Shikioriori - 6/10

This is less of a movie and more of a collection of short stories. Flavors of Youth is something you shouldn’t watch on an empty stomach, all of the food looks incredible. The same cannot beside for the rest of this feature. The stories themselves seems heavily clichéd. Much like A Whisker Away, the initial premise is intriguing, but the execution results in something that comes across as trying too hard and carries no emotional weight with the viewer. If you plan on watching, pay more attention to the artwork and animation than the actual plot. You won’t be missing anything. 

8. Vinland Saga - 7/10

Vinland Saga helped me get out of the rut that Clannad: After Story. Not only does this show have a great story, its action packed with lots of interesting fights. I especially enjoyed all the Nordic history embedded within the show. Its really unlike any of the other historical anime I’ve watched. I will say, it’s gory. But, compared to all the other things I watched this time around, I finished this series the quickest. Its good, its graphic, its fast paced! 

9.  Mononoke Hime - 7/10

It’s ironic considering how much anime I’ve watched that I have yet to watch all of the most classic Studio Ghibli films. Princess Mononoke is grittier than most other Ghibli films I’ve seen, but it’s message is positive and its characters are wonderful. I can’t really speak ill towards classics like these. I guess maybe my one complaint is that this movie could’ve been a faster pace. Other than that... I really enjoyed everything Princess Mononoke offered! I understand why it’s so popular.  

10. Howl no Ugoku Shiro - 8.5/10 

Can you believe it took me this long to finally watch Howl’s Moving Castle? Me neither!! This movie is so endearingly beautiful. I loved every second of it, from the characters to the soundtrack. So many iconic things come from just this one movie. I would like to take this time to thank my best friend for reminding me that Studio Ghibli films are wonderful! Thank you for watching this with me, I loved it! All in all, I regret not watching this sooner! 

11. Toradora! - 6.5/10 

Toradora took me a while to finish, just because I lost interest about halfway through. But, I powered through it, and ended up really enjoying the show! I’m not the biggest fan of the ending, but that’s just a personal preference. Somehow, this show also made me cry? I’m not entirely sure why because Toradora! is probably the thing farthest from sad. Apart from the show’s dull slice of life moments, it was super cute! A much needed light-hearted romance. 

12. New Initial D Movie: Legend 1 - 5/10 

Full disclosure, this is the only thing related to Initial D that I’ve ever watched. My band and I watched this expecting to hear some of that iconic Initial D music, itself all we got was a mildly confusing story about different types of cars. It was cliché and frankly a little boring. Although, I am still considering watching the original Initial D just so I can hear the music in the way it was original intended. I’ve got no other opinions on this movie. It’s best not to watch these movies without the context from the rest of the franchise.  

13.  Uchuu Patrol Luluco - 7.5/10

I didn’t really understand why people enjoy studio Trigger so much until I watched Space Patrol Luluco. I loved all the fun references to other studio Trigger works. I loved the humor, and I loved all the bright colors. The animation was extremely high energy, and the art style fits the show’s premise. Each episode was only 12 minutes long so it was a super quick binge. If you’re looking for something quick, light-hearted and comical, this is the perfect show to watch.

14. Orange - 7/10 

I owe a big thanks to a tumblr mutual for recommending this show to me! This holds the honor of making me cry by episode 3! I honestly did not expect the subject matter of this show to be as dark as it was. Usually when I see the genre ‘shoujo’ I do not associate it with a love story like that of Orange. The heavy subject matter made it a little too close to home for me, but I still really enjoyed this series. It reminds me off all the good times I had with my friends in high school, and of all the regrets I carry with myself to this day. 

15. 3-gatsu no Lion - 7.5/10 

March Comes in Like a Lion is another show that was a bit of a slow burn for me. Each episode left me feeling emotionally drained, so I had to take a lot of breaks while I was working on watching this series. Shaft, the studio behind this anime, holds a special place in my heart because I loved their work on the Monogatari Series. March Comes in Like a Lion is a little different. It’s driving force it is characters, and it was cathartic to watch our main character transform through the entire duration of the first season. I know the show’s second season is much better, so I’ll be starting that soon! 

16. Yojouhan Shinwa Taikei - 8/10 

I loved how artsy and smart The Tatami Galaxy is, but honestly I couldn’t watch too much at once cause it would hurt my head. I also couldn’t watch this show while I was tired because the speaking rate is much faster than typical anime. The Tatami Galaxy is so unique for its medium. I loved the different time loops and the crazy animation. The characters were fascinating. The dialogue, although very fast, it also fantastic. There’s an element of humor to this unique story telling, and I enjoyed ever minute of it! 

Currently Watching:

Hunter x Hunter - 6.5/10 (As of Episode 30)

I pride myself in having watched a lot of shounen anime, but I was reluctant to start Hunter x Hunter for years because I thought I would find it boring. I was oh so very wrong. Considering great shows like Naruto and Fairy Tail that fall under the same category, I expected Hunter x Hunter to be subpar in comparison. It gets a low score for two reasons. One, the power system was introduced a little too late and now I’m wondering if all the fights post episode 30 will involved nen in some way, shape, or form. Two, its still on hiatus. 

Two Cursed Additions For This List

Please to do not let these be representative of my anime taste. 

1.  Yarichin☆B*tch-bu - 4/10

I am a CLOWN for not knowing this was 18+. The only reason I watched this was to see why everyone was talking about the pink-haired boy with the glasses and tongue piecing. I know why now, and I regret it. This was a massive mistake on my part. But hey, at the least the art and ending song kinda slap? 

2. Euphoria (Dropped After 1 Episode) - 2/10

If you know what I’m talking about when I say Euphoria, I am so sorry. And no, I am not talking about the HBO series. Seriously, don’t google this. Don’t watch this. Don’t interact with anything related to this. You’re probably wondering, “Then why did you watch it?” I did not watch this willingly. You see, I have a very bad habit of starting anime and then taking months to finish them. I made an ultimatum with a friend, lost, and then was forced to watch this a punishment. Not a fun experience. I’m very glad there are no GIFs of this on tumblr...

[wordsnstuff]

Guide To Plot Development

Patreon || Ko-Fi || Masterlist || Work In Progress || Studyblr || Studygram

Where To Start

Start with the zero draft. Honestly, the only thing you need to know about your story in order to complete a solid zero draft is the basic timeline of events and 2-3 main characters. Zero drafts don’t need to include any minor characters, backstory, world building, subplots, anything. They’re just a rough estimate of what your story is going to be and where it’s going to go. 

This way, you have something to work with when you do approach the task of maturing your story, which is a lot easier to do when you have already gotten the garbage ideas onto paper, seen them, realized they’re bad, clipped out the good parts, and developed a better understanding of your story’s trajectory. 

Placing The Climax

The climax is two things; the apex of built tension and the turning point of the conflict. Recognizing that as a definition makes pin-pointing the climax of your story much easier, especially if you’re the kind of person who likes to start with a solid premise and work forward from there, rather than build a sturdy skeleton and fill in the blanks as you write the first draft. If you’re still having trouble, the climax is usually one of, if not the most exciting parts of the plot, and that comes from anticipating a massive shift in the story. 

Outlining For Discovery Writers

I know a lot of people out there will read this article and question whether they can put it to use because they’re not an intense plotter who relies on outlines, character sheets, etc. A lot of writers prefer to let characters grow on their own and the conflict present itself naturally, which is less predictable but very exciting, especially when brand new ideas hit you out of nowhere. If you’re one of these people, fear not. An easy way to settle the slight nervousness that comes with diving straight into a blank page is to write down all of the basic or specific ideas you have in one spot where you can see it all and as you go along, refer to it for inspiration or answers when you hit a snag in your story’s flow. It’s not exactly an outline, but it’s a lead, and it’s worth doing. 

Balancing Planning With Pantsing

A lot of writers who decide to take their stories seriously and commit to finishing a large project make the mistake of thinking that means they have to plan like a professional (which, spoiler, most professionals don’t do). What happens in these cases is that writers plan so meticulously for so long that the story becomes... boring. We all get kind of tired of stories when they take up too much of our imagination, but getting tired of a story before even a word of it is written should be avoided. 

I have a personal rule that I never give myself more than 6 weeks to plan a story. That seems like a lot to most people, but I also zero draft all of my stories before I plan them, so I never start a first draft with a blank page. I suggest that if you frequently run into this issue, you try this method and between each serious draft, you give yourself at least a month of space from it in order to refresh your mind. 

What Comes After Drafting

Foreshadowing, symbolism, subplot integration, and micro-development. These are all examples of things that writers try to plan before their first crack at a draft and end up betraying their ability follow through with writing the story at all. When it comes to complicating the story, these elements all come into the picture much later, when the main plot, character profiles, and structure is solid and ready to be finalized in the interest of moving forward in the writing process. When you’re plotting, shove these things out of your mind. You can’t input symbolism into a story that doesn’t exist, and you can’t develop characters that haven’t been born. 

Common Struggles

– The common struggles section of my “guide to__” posts are general questions sent in by readers on the topic at hand. If you have a question that has not been addressed thus far, you’ll probably find the answer in this section. As always, you’re welcome to send other questions to my inbox if you don’t find the answer in this post. –

~ How do I correctly pace a story?... The pace should depend on the genre and point of view, as these things are the framework of every plot. Generally, anticipation should be a slow burn and the big moments should be snappy and explosive, rather than drawn out. The exposition, climax, and resolution should take up the least amount of time in your story, and the rising action should be the majority of the rest of it.

~ What needs to be in your beginning, middle and end?... The answer to this question is answered when you choose a definitive structure model to either follow or build off of. I have a whole post about it here: Plot Structures

~ How can I know if I’ve resolved my major conflict enough?... The resolution of your story should leave the reader feeling satisfied with the protagonist’s overcoming their obstacle, but still leave enough room to anticipate more to come. 

~ How should the plot close?... This is entirely up to you, but I would take into account the possibility of a sequel. If it’s 100% a standalone story, give it a clean ending and tie up the loose ends, pat yourself on the back for all of the clever foreshadowing everyone missed, and leave the protagonists and beloved secondary characters’ futures looking bright. 

~ How do you write a plot around a theme?... Most stories that have a central theme are born from answering a tough question. George Orwell’s 1984 asked “What would the world look like if totalitarianism ruled society?”. Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451 dealt with censorship and questioned whether bliss only belongs to the ignorant. Bottom line is, pick the theme you want to explore, and then ask yourself the tough questions. The story should be the process by which you find the answer. 

~ What is the best way to handle a large cast within a plot?... You have your main conflict and the plotline that surrounds it, and then you have various subplots, around 2-3 where you explore the world/characters further and immerse the reader in the stories. You can convince the reader to become invested in a large number of characters by making them heavily involved in the subplots. They should all touch the main plot considerably, but the bulk of their development should be in the subplot, and if you were to have 15 characters, you’d want around 3 subplots where 3-5 of them were important players. However, large casts that reader’s have trouble keeping up with is a problem that usually results from a writer’s inability to make cuts or combinations. Remember: the reader’s experience is the most important thing. It’s better to downsize your ideas than lose your readers altogether. 

Other Resources From My Blog That Help With This:

What Do You Do When You Over-Plan?

Resources For Plot Development

How To Write A Good Plot Twist

How To Foreshadow

Writing Long Stories Without Filler

Writing Stories About Your Own Experiences

Novel Planning 101

Tackling Subplots

Things A Reader Needs From A Story

How To Turn A Good Idea Into A Good Story

Planning A Scene

When To Stop Planning

How To Outline Outside Chapter Structure

Tips on Mapping Out A Series

Outlining By Chapter

How To Outline Effectively

Tips On Starting A Scene

How To Start A Novel

Character Driven vs. Plot Driven Stories

Plot Structures

Planning A Scene In A Story

Effective Ways Of Planning Chapters

Writing Meaningful Stories

Finding Your Own Writing Style

How To Write A Story Timeline

Making A Story Come Together

Tips on Planning A Series

Coming Up With Scene Ideas

General Resources For Plot Development

How To Engage The Reader

Coming Up With “Original” Ideas

Building Upon A Good Premise

Pacing Appropriately

–

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[amythedvdhoarder]

Miscommunication

Pairing: Bucky x reader

For the Flex Your Muscles Writing Challenge set up by @captain-rogers-beard​

30th of June prompt: Blistering

Word count: 1000

Summary: Bucky has an accident and you come to his aid

Warnings: Minor injury detail but mostly fluffy fluffness!

Authors notes: GIF not mine. So sad that this is the last day of this amazing challenge, thanks to all of those who have read my entries. 30 days, 30 Bucky fics and a discovery that I love writing fluff. Think this one could lend itself to a sequel? Feel free to message me if there are any of these stories you would like a follow up for. I would be so up for it.  Please let me know what you think! X

Here is my masterlist if you want to read any of my other Bucky one-shots!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

You heard the shouting from your room and ran to the kitchen. Bucky was holding his flesh hand in his metal one muttering to himself. “Bucky, you alright?” You looked at the smashed cup and the brown liquid splattered down the front of his white-shirt. “Oh yeah just swell” His flesh hand was bright red. You pieced together what had happened. He had clearly smashed the cup in his metal hand as he picked it up, sending the scolding coffee over himself, his right hand taking the brunt of it. Walking over to him, you took hold of his wrist and pulled him into better light before taking his hand delicately in yours and inspecting the damage.

Thankfully he didn’t stop you but watched you intently with a sense of intrigue. You remained a bit of a mystery to him. Obviously as part of the team he had talked to you a bit, but he had never really spent much time with you. What time he had spent around you told him that you were funny, smart as a whip and attractive as hell, but didn’t seem to be aware of that fact yourself. Annoyingly whenever Bucky had seen you around the compound, you always had company, in the form of a dark-haired man, not much older than you, most likely a boyfriend.

“It’s blistering Bucky, we need to run it under cold water to stop the burn getting worse.” He was about to protest but you dragged him towards the sink, flicking the tap on and shoving his hand underneath the stream of cold water. He hissed at the sensation, the pain in his hand easing off slightly. However, what really distracted him was the fact that your hand was resting under his, keeping it still. He glanced to your face, your bottom lip held between your teeth, eyes filled with concern as you looked up to meet his. Suddenly very aware of where your hand was, you pulled it back. Something you couldn’t quite place flashed across the blue eyes before they looked away from you.

This was the most time you had spent with Bucky on your own. He made you nervous, not because you were scared of him. Quite the opposite of it really. You could see the softness within him. In the way he talked to Steve recounting memories from their childhood, the way that he always led the way during a mission, risking himself before others. It wasn’t difficult to like the super soldier. Bucky didn’t laugh very often but the sound he made when he did, filled you with happiness. You loved how his eyes creased at the corners when he smiles and how he would ruffle up his newly shortened hair do when he was nervous or anxious. Which was exactly what he was doing now.

“Bucky, it should be fine now. Do you want to come with me so I can dress it properly?” He turned off the tap and nodded at you before letting you lead him out the room. In the medical room you found some burn cream and a dressing and carefully set to work. Bucky remained silent as he watched you work, your fingers carefully applying the cream before beginning to wrap the dressing intricately around his hand. He had never been able to study you so carefully this closely before; the way you squinted slightly as you concentrated, how you would huff slightly when you would got frustrated or how your plump lips would curl up at one corner when you were satisfied.  All in all, Bucky couldn’t help but find you adorable.

“Y/N there you are, been looking for you everywhere.” Bucky rolled his eyes as the familiar brown-haired man walked into the room. He also didn’t miss how your face lit up as he entered, a feeling of jealously building within him. “Bucky, I don’t think you know Matt?” Bucky swallowed. “Hey man” You looked at Bucky who now looked a little pissed. “Matt is my older brother, he works with Hill.” That news seemed to have an impact on Bucky; his shoulders relaxed, a smile forming as he stood up and held out his metal hand to your brother. “Bucky” he introduced himself properly now. Now that Matt was no longer a threat.  Matt chatted with the two of you for a few minutes, asking about the injury and then announced that he was going to have to bail on you tonight in favour for a date. “Maybe I will get some time to myself if your date goes well” you teased. Matt flipped you off before sending you a quick wink, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Bucky, before heading out of the door.

“Thanks Y/N. Um, it was kind of you to help me out” Bucky thrust his metal hand into his pocket and stared at the floor. “It’s not a problem. I am going to have to change the dressing every day and make sure it doesn’t get infected.” You walked to the door and looked back over your shoulder. “You coming?” Bucky walked a couple of paces behind you, watching as your hips moved gently side to side whilst you walked. Suddenly realising that you would probably think he was a little rude for not walking with you after patching him up, he took a couple of long strides until he was next to you.

“So, did you have plans with your brother tonight?” You shrugged and saw out of the corner of your eyes Bucky’s hand ruffle his hair, he was nervous again. “Just hanging out and watching a movie.” He took a deep breath. “I could hang out with you instead if you want?” You stopped and looked at him to make sure he was being serious or if he was trying to mess with you. “I mean, I get it if you don’t want to though Y/N” his hand went to his hair yet again. A small smile tugged at the corner of your lips. “No, I would love that Bucky.” Bucky couldn’t help but send his own grin back at you, before throwing his arm around your shoulder. “What we watching doll?” You laughed and let him steer you towards the lounge all traces of nerves completely gone as the ladies’ man you had heard so much about finally revealed himself.

Taglist is open so let me know if you want in

Taglist: @stargazingfangirl18 ,  @silentcoyotesong, @queenofstarliqht​, @buckys-henley​, @lonelyheartsm​ @alexa-lightwood-blog​

[theotheroccassionalfanficwriter]

the rumor concerning a certain demon lord and me

Summary: I am the Celestial Realm’s Liaison for Devildom, my duties include reporting the results and minutiae of the Exchange Student Program, and fostering a good relationship with the Devildom’s government. I am the paragon of virtue but somehow...can anyone tell me where did the rumors that I was dating a certain Demon Lord come from?

Tags: Oblivious Reader, First Person POV, Angel!Reader, slow burn, Mammon falls in love first...or does he?, only fluff, no angst, no intellectuals in this house only queer people who share one brain cell.

A/N: If anyone thinks that it’s impossible to get into a relationship without your knowledge I want to share to everyone that it happened to me and I was a sugar baby for like 1 whole year and only realized it 5 years later. Sequel in the works

Rated: G

--

As an Angel, living in the Celestial Realm was what the humans would call a Socialist paradise. Our working hours were few and the pay was high, all Angels regardless of rank could afford housing and have enough money to spare. Everyone was free to pursue their interests and I was no different. I had set my goal from an early age, slowly and steadily built up my skills and worked diligently.

All the senior Angels praised me for my good work ethic and I was relatively well-liked among my peers. It wasn’t that I had no shortcomings, it was just that I was able to hide my shortcomings and pass it off as quirks. You might be wondering, what my goal is. It’s a secret~

Hehehe...right now that isn’t important, what’s important is that after a long time my goal is already half-way done. That’s because~starting today I am the Celestial Realm’s Liaison for Devildom~

Teehee! Is what I’d like to say but the truth is, I’ve lost all happiness I gained from that promotion. 

Ever since the Second Lord, Mammon, became my body guard I’ve lost all happiness. In the morning, I’d wake up and trip on the plush carpet because of a gold bar, on my way into the bathroom to wash my face I’d slip from stepping on pearls left carelessly on the marble tiles of my bathroom floor. Then on my way to the kitchen to eat my breakfast my cute ceramic mug had been replaced with a chalice made of gold.

Isn’t this just harassment? Isn’t it cruel of him to plant evidences to insinuate I’ve harbored the sin of Greed? I badly want to throw the gold bar on his face but the two golden rules I follow held me back. Aren’t I good? Aren’t I kind? Therefore I’ll keep on enduring that cute foolish Second Lord but the moment an opportunity to take a little revenge on him comes...yeah I’ll just go and confess my sins after.

--

The opportunity to take revenge came when we had our daily brunch routine at Cat’s Eye. It was a cute cat cafe that I stumbled on and had stupidly mentioned to Mammon, at that time I had foolishly trusted that he would be kind towards me and spare me of the odd ways of the demons, that it’d be nice to come to it with someone familiar.

“In that case, I, the Great Mammon will take you there every morning!” His toothy grin and bright aura of happiness made my pure angelic heart quiver.

...but only a little bit okay? It wasn’t like it made me want to give him all the gold in the world and see him be happy alright? 

“Mammon-sama, thank you!”

He blushed fiercely and for some reason it made me want to squeeze him a little bit. Thus the daily routine of eating together came to be and every day I’d end up sharing half of my food with him while he hand fed me half of his food. You might be thinking, “Yo! Little Angel isn’t that too fast?!”

And I agree with you but have you ever been on the receiving end of his puppy dog eyes? Have you ever felt the feeling of having someone smile at you sweetly for something so meaningless? In all my life as an Angel, it’s my first time meeting someone who’d grow so attached just because I shared my food, gave him the first taste of my cream puffs I’d buy, gave advice to so they’d succeed in a business venture, and randomly giving them trinkets I bought on a whim.

Ahhh...Sorry for getting riled up, this is also one of the side effects I’ve been experiencing since becoming friends with Mammon. When it comes to that cute fool, I can’t keep my calm. Probably because he just makes my Angelic nurturing instincts tingle.

Now, you must be wondering what sort of revenge I had planned, the thing is simple. 

Mammon likes spicy stuff and he knows that I like to try spicy foods as long as it doesn’t get too spicy, therefore, today I’ll order scrambled eggs and strawberry pancakes! And pay for it with his planted marked money!!!!

With that in mind, I happily ordered my brunch while holding his hand, happily took out the planted marked money from my wallet and paid for both of our foods. Then Mammon brought the tray to our usual table and we sat side by side and began the daily routine of feeding each other...I sneakily took a glance at him and he only had a look of extreme smugness...

As expected of an Avatar of Sin...this level of revenge...meant nothing to him.

๐·°(৹˃̵﹏˂̵৹)°·๐ So frustrating!!!

--

Hello everyone! Several years had passed since my unsuccessful revenge on Mammon and as a result his harassment only grew...my soft and comfy cotton padded pink comforter has been replaced with 100% Egyptian cotton sheets...my cute pastel tea set had been replaced with ones from Chelsea...Everyday he’d give me trinkets worth a fortune and I’ve learned not to ask how he acquired it if only so I could have a peace of mind...

I’ve also gained a new habit of praying for my sins every night as opposed too once every few nights...Father even sent a letter asking me if I was alright ever since the frequency increased.

It made me want to cry a little bit.

Nevertheless I bravely continued on, and wore my head high as the Celestial Realm’s Ambassador to Devildom.

Hehehe... that’s right from Liaison to Ambassador it was quite a jump.  And it had just been officially announced recently, and now 500 years later, I can finally celebrate my promotion!!!

After being appointed as the Ambassador to Devildom, I was temporarily sent back to undergo training that for some reason or another also included Mammon as my training partner. Yep! That’s right! Normally, a period of separation would occur in this part of the story right? right! But what happened was!!!before I could even do a tearful parting between dear friends and then have a joyful and tearful reunion between close friends...

-

Mammon had his luggage with him and he was holding my left hand as he and the rest of his brothers looked nervous. Listen, I understand you all rebelled and lost but can all of you lighten up and explain to me why Mammon is coming with?

I glanced at Diavolo, who became one of my closest friends in Devildom after Mammon, and silently begged him with my eyes. Hearing my pleas, Diavolo nodded and then said,

"Now, now, there's no need for any worry after all Mammon would be well protected by our Little Angel?"

I can't help but retort, "This year I grew by two millimetres and the top of my head is just an inch below Mammon's shoulders."

I knew that I begged for help but Diavolo...there's no need for a personal attack on my height. Besides that, you didn't even explain why my training includes Mammon. Also, why are all of you sending Mammon off as if he was a bride?, I'm talking about you Lucifer-sama.

Please stop looking at me as if I was a good-for-nothing sibling-in-law.

"...I’ve been looking after him from the start...I wouldn’t stop doing it now...” I mumbled, averting my gaze from their intense looks.

I know its arrogant of me since Mammon has been taking care of himself since the aftermath of the Celestial War but by now, I’d only end up worrying if anyone other than Lucifer and me can take care of him right. Millennia of cleaning up his messes and busting him out of trouble had led me to develop anxiety over his general well being, it had led me to buying him his own set of toiletries and clothing and even household items just so I wouldn’t worry about where he stayed on nights he didn’t want to be with his brothers.

Being conscientiously kind and helpful really is hard.

“In that case, I’ll leave my brother in your care” Lucifer-sama told me solemnly, in his usually cold and stern eyes was a small trace of warmth.

I don’t understand why you’d suddenly look like that to me but, “Thank you.”

Yep. Let’s just thank him and be done with this.

--

What separation? What tearful and joyful reunion? Bullshit!!! We arrived at the Celestial Realm and it felt like I was someone who came home for the first time since getting married! Also, I know I said I’d take care of Mammon but why does it have to be that we would share one bed?!

Look! He’s blushing all the way to his ears! His face is so red it looks like it’s his natural skin tone!

Is this what’s going to make me Fall? Huh?! Isn’t it a bit pathetic that I became a demon because someone decided to redecorate my house without my permission?!

“I-i didn’t expect they’d be this welcoming...” Mammon mumbled cutely.

Okay, let’s forget about it. Since, Mammon didn’t mind but just in case, it’s better to at least clear it up to prevent any misunderstandings.

“Well...it’s probably because you’re the first...” I trailed off, saying he’s my first friend that I made on my own would be pathetic right?

“Anyways, let’s set your stuff up. Do you want to rest a little bit or should we go shopping for the things you’d use here?”

Mammon didn’t seem to mind the abrupt changed of topic but why is your face redder than before? If you’re embarrassed by this I’d end up embarrassed too! Look! I can already feel the tips of my ears heating up!

“I-I want to have you all to myself for now...”

I simply nodded and took away his luggage and had him rest on the bed while I shed off my human form and brought my wings into the physical plane. I began organizing our shared closet and silently decided to just ignore the fact that Mammon’s earlier words made it seem like we were dating or something.

Mammon probably never had any friends before me too. After all, other than me and his brothers isn’t his number blocked by everyone back in Devildom?

Reassured with this thought, I easily and happily began rearranging my clothes to accommodate Mammon’s stuff and ignored the prickly feeling of Mammon staring at me. We left in the afternoon and I led Mammon around the places that had the best of everything I know.

Each Angel would look at us, whisper a little bit, before coming forward and congratulating the two of us. I’m glad they aren’t discriminating Mammon or looking at him with contempt but there really is no need for the entirety of the Celestial Realm to congratulate me for having a friend okay? I kept to myself out of choice and the knowledge that I knew my limits.

If you lot kept up with this then I’ll really go ahead and Fall! Look, Mammon’s being bashful! 

Ah! Fuck it! Never mind then! Since this congratulations spree makes him happy, I’ll turn a blind eye.

--

By now, you’ve all probably noticed how weird it was right? right?! Every time I would treat Mammon the same as I did back in Devildom I’d feel the intensity of the stares from my fellow angels, and then Mammon would make it weirder by blushing and looking at me coquettishly. Keep that up and everyone would start thinking we’re a couple out on a date! By the way, this just brought up the painful fact that other than my abhorrent almost null platonic relationship, I also never got into any romantic relationship with my fellow angels...anyways who cares I have Mammon now.

I had no intention of hiding our friendship but just how much did Mammon doubt me that he had to look so pleased whenever I didn’t deny our relationship. I know my shortcomings when it comes to the emotional side of the relationship but even I’m not that unreliable okay?! So please! Mammon! Stop looking so cute whenever I’m considerate of you!!!

This is a normal angel thing!!! You can even ask Simeon!!!!

Ah...I apologize that I went off on a tangent, anyways it’s time to go back to the original point which is! Mammon and I are out celebrating my promotion right now. And since we’re celebrating he told me that I can do as my heart pleases.

So now, I’ve decided to up my revenge! If last time spending his money was nothing to him and making him eat overly sweet stuff was useless, I’ll take him to a bistro I’ve never been before and eat there with him! A place with no guarantee of being delicious! A place that had no assurance that our money won’t be wasted! Wouldn’t that make his liver hurt? Wouldn’t that make his Goldie bleed? Wouldn’t that make him mad?

Gosh! Being evil is so easy, I better pray to Father and repent for my sins after this dinner date.

And so, I took him to Restaurant la Penyora in Girona, Spain. Instead of using the normal routes of transportation to the Human Realm, I just snapped Mammon and myself into the Restaurant with the use of one of my allotted miracles. Our table was nicely furnished with a lit candle, and the ambiance was nice. Perfect!

I looked at Mammon and teased him, “Isn’t this place perfect?”

He looked at me with an impassive face and asked, “Have you been here before?”

“How can that be? Every time I leave Devildom aren’t I with you?”

That was the sad truth, every outing I had to play around included Mammon...I did try making friends with other demons and it would succeed for awhile but later on...they’d break off our friendship and each time I’d run into Mammon to vent.

Of course there were times I couldn’t do it, all of those times had to do when he would get picked to be a human’s first demon, and that only drove to further make friends. It wouldn’t be nice if I resented a human for taking my only friend after all. Somehow, that cold look on Mammon’s face disappeared and I breathed a sigh of relief. 

I really thought he’d figured out my revenge plan now.

The atmosphere eased up and I bravely ordered what I could think I could finish. Worst case is I could just miracle away the organs of this vessel. It’s not like we actually need those to function. And so under the wonderful ambiance, Mammon and I ate a splendidly delicious meal, had a wonderful conversation and deepened our bonds of friendship.

Haha.

My revenge plan failed.

The two of us strolled about in the streets and just existed. Mammon held my hand and I silently sulked that my revenge plan failed.

“I thought I was the only one who sulked in this relationship” He gently teased me.

The city lights in the background combined with Mammon’s rare soft smile made my heart clench. For some reason I thought about the humans he occasionally became fond of and it hurt just a little bit that I might not just be the only one who knows this side of Mammon.

“I’m not sulking” I lied and looked away from him. Squeezing his hand tight and staring intently at my feet as I walked.

“If you’re that jealous of a human, I’ll start turning down Lucifer when he asks me to be the one to ease them up.”

I blinked, “You don’t have to...” 

He’d probably end up in trouble with Lucifer and then I’d be friendless for a few days. I frowned at the thought and suddenly felt something soft and warm press to my forehead.

“Huh?”

Mammon had a fond smile and weird look in his eyes. It made my non-human heart start beating rapidly.

“If I explain it to Lucifer, he’d let me off ‘sides you’re more important to me than the exchange student program.”

I blushed and covered the wide smile on my face. Yep. It wouldn’t be good to show to the world how happy I was to hear that. I’m glad that Mammon treasured our friendship that much.

“E-even so, don’t let me be the reason why you end up not doing work, okay?” I mumbled and Mammon only let go of my hand to wrap his arm on my shoulder and bring me closer to him.

...I think I need to pray longer and harder this time to Father. It isn’t good for an Angel to be greedy after all. Hopefully this would banish all thoughts of wanting to keep Mammon to myself. I am after all the Paragon of a Perfect Angel.

--

After that date on Spain, somehow, Mammon and I became closer. What used to be where I wouldn’t even drop by the House of Lamentation became weekly scheduled dinners where I would bring food for the seven of them for dinner and then a sleepover in Mammon’s room. It became a weekly ritual and thus I ended up growing closer with the rest of Mammon’s brothers...Demons who used to be my fellow colleagues.

It was odd, especially since they seem to know something I don’t and think that I know it as well.

Mammon didn’t even give me a heads up on what was happening. Which brings me to my current predicament:

The new Celestial Realm exchange students were fairly young and even younger than me. Waaay younger than me. And now I had to go and answer the question,

“Are you really dating the Demon Lord Mammon?”

Before I could even answer, I felt Mammon's familiar aura and found myself embraced by him. I know we've known each other for a while now but even so why does he have to wrap me in his arms??? I'm maybe the paragon of virtue but I've never been this intimate with anyone!!! At most...at most I've held hands...

(/ω＼) Even the Holy Mother was more experienced than me.

"They're mine!"

I blinked at Mammon's proclamation and simply let myself be led away by my very grumpy friend. It is important for you to know that he was still holding my hands, firmly might I add, and his hands were bigger than mine, calloused from all the sword training we went through and slightly scarred from,what I assume, Falling.

"Mammon?" I called out to him softly.

If this had been in the past, I would have been able to perfectly hide my worry for him but as it was, with training together and spending so much time together, it was inevitable that I would end up being unable to hide my worry for him.

“Next time, you don’t have to hesitate!” He ordered me, looking very much like an angry bird. It was not at all frightening and yet my heart was beating fast and though I felt no fear, I knew that I was shaking.

“Wha-what do you mean?”

He looked at me in the same way I had seen our baby crows looked at something puzzling. He grinned a feral smile that made me wary and yet whatever angelic training from the Celestial War that had been trained in me did not activate. He leaned close to me, our breaths mingling, and I can only get lost in his ever so familiar eyes that makes a part of my soul sing, that makes my aura reach out to his.

“Angel, haven’t you noticed that our wings beat as one?”

Oh.

Oh.

“Fo-foul fiend!” I stuttered and this time didn’t bother to hide the fact how easy I melted in his arms.

...It seems that the rumors about him and me...came from me...how embarrassing. His deep chuckles reverberated through his chest and I could only burrow my face deeper into his chest as his arms hugged me tightly. His aura reaches out to mine and entangles with it.  

I sighed, “No wonder Lucifer-sama looked like a father giving away his precious daughter when we left for the Celestial Realm.”

Mammon choked and warily told me, “Even now...you still don’t have any sense of fear towards Lucifer...”

“Eh? What do you mean?”

I stopped and hiding and pouted at him but Mammon only looked at me fondly and unabashedly letting his deep love for me bleed through his eyes. I blushed and squirmed in his grip. Please forgive this Angel for not being well-versed in love...after all Mammon is my first...and only...hehe.

“It’s fine if you don’t remember” He told me and then kissed me sweetly and deeply on my lips.

I’m definitely telling this to the Holy Mother once we take a vacation in the Celestial Realm...that would shut up even that cheeky Holy Son for teasing me with my inexperience! 

[ty-talks-comics]

The Boys Season 1 Review and Comparison

This was so cathartic.

In an age where we’re inundated with superhero media on all fronts with their bright colors, cheery jokes and positive outlooks, it’s easy to slowly become sick of it, feel the “superhero fatigue” as it were. Where Marvel ruins some stories with far too many jokes (looking at you Thor: Ragnarok) and DC is far too dreary and serious for its own good with a lack of levity, where can one turn to for a GOOD happy medium?

Well, in comes Seth Rogan and Evan Gold, the brilliant minds behind the amazing adaptation of Preacher with yet another brutal and slightly more cynical series. The Boys absolutely stuns not only by being a genuinely compelling series, but also by being one of the few adaptations that improves on the original medium in a few aspects.

Story

The story centers around Hughie Campbell and the titular Boys as they work to expose the horrific deeds of The Seven, a collective of the world's greatest superheroes, and the company that sponsors them, Vought American.

In this world, superheroes are everywhere. They're on breakfast cereals, TV shows, movies, pretty much every piece of media and entertainment imaginable while also protecting America from crime. Sounds familiar, huh? The kicker here is that, much like every asshole celebrity that lets the fame and fortune go to their heads, these heroes are massive cunts. They take performance enhancing drugs, routinely cause accidents that hurt or kill people, sexually harass people left and right and just lie to their adoring public like they’re children.

Unlike the books, however, The Boys team isn’t the well oiled machine that’s been taking down and blackmailing superheroes for years and the first four episodes are spent introducing the different team members.This is likely due to wanting to give people time to care about them individually and the limited number of episodes in the season. This definitely works in also retooling the characters themselves for TV since they may not have seventy-two issues of character development ahead of them

For the most part, the show follows the initial story beats of the comics with a few select differences before splintering off in an entirely new direction. Hughie’s girlfriend still gets blown apart by A-Train, he denies Vought America’s hush money which draws the attention of Billy Butcher and Starlight joins the Seven after the “death” of the hero Lamplighter. 

This also means that there's less time to focus on smaller plotlines and teams that are referenced to in passing dialogue like the Teenage Kix, a pastiche on the Teen Titans, or Payback, the number two group of superheroes to The Seven. While seeing the team take these guys down on the small screen would have been fun, I like the idea of keeping the plot focused on just the core group of antagonists. This way, we don’t have to slog through three or four seasons of small fry and get the big bads in the last few.

After the first half, fans of the comic may start to feel a little bit of the familiar, but then things start to take a drastic turn when Billy's pride and the rest of the teams sloppiness gets them all burned and branded wanted criminals. This never happens in the books because The Boys are funded and protected by the CIA, but here they’re just another group of concerned citizens that are completely in over their heads, adding to the tension and keeping everyone guessing as to what will happen for the rest of the season and in Season 2.

Themes

The original series was written during the latter years of the Bush Administration. Tensions were high and America was still embroiled in the Iraq War. The president was a simpering fool and companies were fucking people over left and right in the name of patriotism. Reality TV and the awful personalities on our screens were on nearly every channel and all of this only fueled the anger that is Garth Ennis’ pen and Darick Robertson’s pencils. It was a product of its time and it was perfect.

We’re now in the Information Age where superheroes and social media are the only things that matter in everyone’s mind, where women’s empowerment is stronger than ever and our leaders speak bombastically with shit eating grins full of lies. Rogen and Goldberg have kept the series modern and take everything to task.

Media. Marvel and DC are everywhere nowadays with some indie companies managing to scrape up their own part of the pie. The Boys makes fun of the seemingly endless cycle of sequels and the goody-two-shoes images of America’s favorite heroes. Everything is carefully managed and curated by a media team, similar to how Disney micromanages even the smallest details of their properties to make everything so sickeningly squeaky clean. 

Not only do the heroes stop crime, but they star in their own movies about themselves as well, some have sponsorships for shoes and have to compete with each other for everything. Almost everything is done for the cameras, even intimate moments whenever Vought can find a way to make it work. The heroes are never too far from the spotlight even when they want to be and oftentimes their acts can go viral without them knowing.

Sexual Assault. In the comics, Starlight is sexually assaulted by Homelander, Black Noir and A-Train in a gross scene to establish that there’s nothing good in that world. It was good for its time in its own dark way, but today there are absolutely consequences to such things as there should have been back then. In the show, Starlight is assaulted by The Deep, her childhood crush, alone. 

It’s dark and makes use of the imbalance of power as The Deep threatens to have her kicked off of the team. Soon after, Starlight comes forward with what happens to her, not allowing herself to let what happened stand and unlike in the books, The Deep gets his comeuppance. Though this also unfortunately leading to him getting assaulted as well. It’s powerful and allows for Starlight to move what could have been an image of weakness, though Vought uses this to their advantage as well, painting her a feminist icon. Best for business right?

Politics. While not everything has to be an allegory for Trump, it’s hard to say that Homelander isn’t just that. He’s what the president thinks he is, a strong, blonde haired man that the entire country loves. Homelander has the people eating out of the palm of his hands and he’s only feeding them shit. He hates the common man and will just as easily let many die if it can somehow serve his interests. He’s not above a little sexual harassment himself and he is just an evil bastard.

There’s also a subplot of military application of superheroes that I feel mirrors the discussion on the use of drones in war. Drones are absolutely deadly and have caused the deaths of hundreds, even innocents when things have gone really wrong. Even President Obama was criticized for how reckless and dangerous their use could be. The world could only imagine the hell that would rain down if superheroes were allowed to duke it out over national security.

Characters

The Boys as a comic series was an unrepentantly cynical take on the superhero genre in an established universe of heroes. The creator, Garth Ennis, didn’t grow up with many superheroes and actually felt disrespected by a few of them, like Captain America. He brought on the amazing Darick Robertson and other artists to realize this horrid world of drugs, hardcore sex and brutal violence. Many of the stories are fun and hilarious, but with the unfortunate feeling of a lot of them feeling one note due to the one dimensional nature of a lot of the “heroes” and the ever escalating level of black humor to the point of being cartoonish.

Our main character cast is absolutely fantastic. Jack Quiad’s Hughie is much like his comic counterpart, aside from being like six feet tall and not Scottish. He’s surprisingly smart with a lot of awkwardness about him. He has a good heart and doesn’t see ALL superheroes as being evil, but does have a slight sense of justice that wants to see The Seven and Vought taken down. 

Karl Urban’s Butcher was the absolute perfect casting choice. He’s got that wry British wit, the fury to capture Butcher’s rage against supes and can play a manipulator like nobody's business. His character arc is one of the few regressions that I can actually appreciate for how it's done, especially as things become more fucked because of him and how he chooses to blame everyone else.

Everyone else is a slight bit of an improvement over the comics versions. The Frenchman, played by Tomer Capon, is similar to his comics counterpart, but we’re given reason to care about him and The Female. In the comics, Frenchie and the Female knew each other prior, but I don’t think it’s ever revealed how they met or became close. In the show Frenchie frees The Female, played by Karen Fukuhara, from thugs that had been keeping her prisoner and he slowly gains her trust over the course of the next few episodes after her introduction. We see their friendship grow, learn a little bit of her backstory and get a better understanding of what she wants versus just following Frenchie around and being terrifyingly adorable.

Annie January aka Starlight, played by Erin Moriarty, is probably the second best change in character in the series. She starts out as a bright eyed, bushy tailed hero looking to do good, but after being sexually assaulted on her first day in The Seven, decides that it will never happen again. In the comics, Annie stays around in The Seven and takes the abuse for a little while before speaking out and fighting back against the rest of them. What makes things even better, not only does she challenge her uber Christian beliefs during an event sponsored by Vought, but she does so while also getting Vought to force her abuser into giving a public apology at the mere thought of her causing their stock prices to crash.

Consequently, Mother’s Milk, portrayed by Laz Alonso, one of the most layered characters in the comics isn’t made better, but the more ridiculous aspects of is character have been toned down. We don’t hear of his disabled mother and his addiction to her breast milk that fuels his own superpowers, nor is his wife a crack addict that makes pornos with their daughter. He’s simply a reliable member of the team that loves his wife and will give Butcher the truth when he’s acting like an asshole.

The series actually brings a lot of grey to most of these characters. A-Train never once shows remorse for his actions in the books, but in the show he's painted as kind of sympathetic, while still being seen as a monster for what he does and the reasons behind them. The Deep could go either way after his actions with a redemption arc or a full turn to villain, but is shown to be knowingly aware of how little regard there is for him. He calls himself a "diversity hire" and acknowledges his own ineptitude, but he's still an absolutely terrible person.

Queen Maeve may be one of my favorite changes that manages to be even more sympathetic than her already pretty great comic counterpart. She, much like Starlight, did want to change the world, but she let the apathy and jaded nature of the job take her over. She's an alcoholic that sees a bit of herself in Starlight. The change comes in how she reacts to what I think might be Homelander's most heinous act in the show. She shows far more remorse and guilt over what happens than she does in the comic, showing us a side of her makes you want to root for her and to see her get better.

The best character… dear Lord, is Homelander, played by Anthony Starr. Homelander is a bastard. The worst thing imaginable because of his sheer strength and power. He’s a sociopath with all of the powers of Superman and none of the goodness. In the comics he’s simply just another asshole. 

He’s the most powerful of the Seven and absolutely revels in the hedonistic lifestyle that he’s accustomed to while also hating being under the rule of Vought. In the show, he’s shown as being supportive to Vought, especially it’s current Senior VP of Hero Management, Madelyn Stillwell. He has something of a mommy fetish as shown with his interactions with her and later in the series actually expresses emotions over learning of his own tragedies, but instead of trying to change for the better, he doubles down on his hatred and anger to become an even bigger monster than before. 

In the comic he just wants all of the superheroes to conquer the world, but here, he just wants to hurt everyone who hurts him. He plays games like a child, threatening and revealing secrets to toy with people before absolutely breaking them. He's horrible in a very personal way and his sneering smile only makes him so much more hateable. He knows there isn't a damn thing you can do to stop him and he revels in that fact, I love it.

Pacing and Direction

Coming in at an hour for each episode, the first two to three can feel a bit slow. Getting all of the story elements to sit just right can take time, especially as new things are introduced every few minutes. This slow burn approach easily helps to build the tension before things get really crazy by episode four. By that point, the story is unfolding at a perfect rhythm, the team is mostly together, they’ve made their plans of action and it’s all so smooth.

Thankfully each episode is directed by different people to avoid each feeling so similar. The common humor and tone is kept the same, but some episodes are very hopeful almost before being met with one that absolutely makes you hate certain characters and the actions that they take. In particular, the episode where Hughie and Butcher visit a group therapy session and Butcher flies off into a rage about the weakness of the attendees as they basically lick the balls of the heroes that have maimed them was amazing. The director pulls so much emotion out of that scene and continues on as the episode moves along in a far more dramatic fashion than some of the others.

Some others lean heavier on the debauchery such as the episode where Hughie and Butcher venture into a superhero sex club and watch as these guys do some pretty amazing feats with their abilities in some really gross ways. There’s a good balance of levity and drama that makes neither feel too overwhelming.

Overall

With a great cast, impeccable acting and an unpredictability that I actually enjoyed, The Boys absolutely blew me away. I was wholly prepared to rip it apart if I felt like it didn’t do the story justice, but Rogen and Goldberg are fans and knew what we all wanted. It’s unabashedly a comic book show, but still has enough to it that people who have never heard of the series will be floored by how much they can find to enjoy.

It’s for the nihilistic and jaded comic book fan. It’s for the casual watcher who’s gotten enough of Marvel’s colorful displays of happiness and it’s absolutely for the happy person who just wants to have some fun with what they watch. 

I thoroughly enjoyed this season of The Boys. So much so that I’m aching with anticipation to re-read the comic series in preparation for Season Two. It’s unlikely that it’ll follow the plot much, if at all after the ending, but with Stormfront (as a woman) being announced as the new Hero joining the Seven in the next season, I’m excited as to who else they might pull. This first season absolutely earns a high recommendation from me.

[residentlesbrarian]

The Third Book I Read In the Dark: You mean there's more and this time it gets GAY! Sign me the F*** UP!

Sovereign by April Daniels

As Day 1 of my time in the dark ages was coming to a close so did my second library book and even though it was late and I should probably go to bed (and by bed I mean the couch in the living room closest to the fireplace because sweet sweet crackling warmth) I couldn’t help but at least crack open the sequel to the phenomenal book I’d just finished. I was set to have wisdom tooth surgery the next day bright and early but with the state of the world I had doubts it would happen so, you know...YOLO.

Now, I know what people say about sequels, never get your hopes up too high because usually they will let you down, but I was so pleasantly surprised to know that the curse of bad sequels passed over Sovereign without leaving its mark. I loved this just as much if not more than the first book. If my review of the first book is anything to go off of this is gonna be a mess so let’s get this love fest on the road!

Unicorn Rating:

Blurb: Danny is finding her feet as Dreadnought but things are far from easy especially with curve balls coming from every angle. Things are getting harder, darker, and maybe a bit...gayer!

Disclaimer: I will try my best to not spoil anything from the book, but my book loving rambles may give more away than a traditional review. Here we go! Ramble time!

Review: 

Diving right into this I genuinely liked this book just as much if not a bit more than the first book. Now there are a few reasons for that, one is that we don’t have to deal with Danny’s parents much, my feelings on them were made very clear in my last review. The second was that, although we were introduced to a few new characters, we were mainly focused on characters we already knew and just got to know them more so it did what I think all sequels should do; build on what you already know while adding just enough new stuff to keep you coming back for more. 

The plot of this second book is a multi-layered beast that I had a blast peeling back piece by piece, while also not being too difficult to follow. It is for sure a much darker plot than the first book, but as someone who’s second book looks to be pretty dark and emotionally...well, ouch, I can really get down with this kind of character heavy story that really depends on the reader being invested in the struggles of the characters more than an overly complicated plot. The twist also still got me there at the end. Comeuppances sure are fun to see. Okay, I behaved for a whole two paragraphs and talked about the plot now to really let ‘er rip!

Oh boy! Oh jeeze! How do I want to do this!?! Ummm spin the wheel-o-characters and see where it stops? Sure! That's a solid way to write coherent and professional reviews (I know logically I should start with Danny but I’m saving her and a particular western themed vigilante till last for GAY reasons)!

The Wheel has chosen and I am going to talk about Karen first! So, Karen, this was a character that when she first showed up I was utterly confused and then got so freaking excited so freaking fast when I figured out who she might be! I literally closed the book and went, “That ain’t a backpack!” Now I am gonna try and be extra careful about how I word this next part to try and not spoil anything, but please someone ask me questions about it so I can gush about it more in a spoiler filled response! So, if you read my Dreadnought review I genuinely liked Valkyrja and I was so sad we weren’t going to get to see more of her after the ending of the last book, but then Karen quite literally broke on in to make my day. She honestly fascinated me. The struggle she is going through reminds me so much of something from one of my favorite animated shows, RWBY, that has been an ongoing struggle since Volume 4 for the character of Oscar. (I won’t say anymore cause I don’t want to spoil the book or the show, you should read the book and watch the show, they are both awesome and then come into my ask box and we can talk about how interesting it is). She was a character that I felt deeply for because of her struggle, but also was conflicted on because of reasons that I can’t get into but man...just Karen, why, Karen why?

So next up we have more from the local literal wizard, Charlie, who is as sleep deprived and as eclectic as ever. He is a good example of what I meant when I said I was glad we were able to spend more time with characters we already knew. He was instrumental in the plot even if he was mostly a background player, but I cared about him when the crew got into big fights because I already knew him and knew that he wasn’t a fighter. He was a friend in a world where there weren’t a ton of those to be had.

 Oooo let’s do another newcomer, Kinetiq, who admittedly has a bit of beef with our girl. Danny has been getting a lot of press for being “the first transgender superhero” which is not at all accurate she is just the first pretty white superhero with Legion-sized support and funding behind her and Kinetiq never lets her forget it. They are a non-binary Iranian-American superhero that has been capin’ way longer than Danny has but hasn’t gotten nearly the recognition. They are such a cool character and really rounds out the team of superpowered teens.

Let’s dig into our villains next. I still hate Graywytch with every fiber of my being and the burning passion of a thousand suns, but that isn’t ever gonna change, so we can move on before I have another melt down like last time. We wouldn’t want that now would we? Maybe you do. I don’t tell you how to feel. So now we can talk about Sovereign (I know we got his civilian name in the book but I have forgotten it because I read these books in 2 ½ days and I have the memory of a brain damaged goldfish so we’ll just go with that), he was a character that we met him and I immediately went “Sooo, he’s the bad guy right?” Everything he said just oozed “entitled asshole” and “I’m more important than you.” And I don’t necessarily think that is a bad thing. Now I do like to have some more complications in my villains, some grayness and not all black and white, but in a story so hinged on Danny struggling internally with so much I think having a really deep complicated villain would have been too much to handle at the same time. 

I’ve contained this as long as I can and I can’t contains it no more…*runs to the top of the nearest mountain* I LOVE DOC IMPOSSIBLE!!! I know in my last review I said she gave me kookie grandma character vibes even though she didn’t really fit into either one of those categories, but she still just fits like a puzzles piece into a hole in my heart of characters I love. The reveal at the end of Dreadnought that she was an android only made me love her more and then to see how much she is struggling with what Utopia used her body to do against her will just makes me want to give her all my love and support even more (Maybe I just have a thing for characters breaking away from controlling abusers and fully accepting and owning themselves for who they truly are *cough* Yasha from Critical Role *cough*). And no spoilers but the ending scene with Danny and her made me squeal/tear up with happy tears.

So now on to the main event or well...the main character and her grapple handed revolver wielding bandana wearing paramore. Now I’ve alluded to it in the other character opinions but Danny, well, Danny goes through it in this book. I remember while I was reading it thinking how tired I was, part of that was probably because I had been reading literally non-stop for two days but also I think I was really picking up on Danny’s fatigue in that it just never ended. As soon as one trial or tribulation ended she had little or no time to rest before she had to force herself back to her feet and say, “Alright, whatcha got?” Danny also goes to some pretty dark places, and as someone with some experience with PTSD it was really compelling to read a character who was working through those kinds of thoughts and...not handling it well. She was rash and angry and lashing out, she was far from the perfect picture of composure her publicist/lawyer wanted her to be, that’s for sure. Danny is yet again a fascinating character to follow along in her journey because she has so much depth and is so compelling because she is so flawed. 

Now Danny’s dynamic with Calamity/Sarah this book was just...so good. Now do I think they are perfect and amazing and gonna go off and have a perfect little capin’ life together...honestly, no. But that is why I love them so much. I was convinced Sarah had the budding start of feelings for Danny all the way back in the first book but Danny had SO MUCH going on she didn’t notice and Sarah wasn’t gonna push the issue and probably didn’t even really know what she was feeling herself. I am a connoisseur of gay media after all, but the hints were there. When nothing came of it I didn’t feel let down because it wouldn’t have made since in the story of the first book especially with Sarah losing her arm and everything else. Then this book came around and turned everything up a notch. Danny is realizing she is soooo much gayer for Calamity than she thought, and Calamity/Sarah is really being the only person who isn’t letting Danny slide when it comes to the self destructive behavior she has been kind of reveling in which I am so here for. In relationships, good relationships, you have to be able to call each other out, call bull shit on one another, without it getting personal. We see that in real time develop between Sarah and Danny. We also see that Danny really depends on Calamity and her wit and know how in battle situations because, lets face it, Danny is the muscle, but Calamity is the brains. The fact they are able to work together so well is just a testament to the fact I think they will have a good relationship going forward. Maybe not all sunshine and roses all the time, because that isn’t realistic, but they will support each other and protect each other in the way that matters and counts. And I am a soft bitch when it comes to stuff like that. 

My final thoughts on this is that I really liked the way, after such a hard and trudging journey (I say that with as much love and admiration as I can), we were able to have an ending that radiated such softness, such hope for a future that wouldn’t be full of so much pain and struggle. I needed that ending. I needed that exhale to be able to just settle with Danny, and Sarah, and Doc, and the rest of the crew after the holy hell storm they had to go through in this book. I know there is supposed to be a third book in the Nemesis series but I would be okay with it ending here. Sure, there are some unanswered questions plot-wise, but I am happy with where our characters landed and by now y’all know me, I’m in it for those sweet sweet character driven stories so I’m good. That doesn’t mean I won’t read the third one when it comes out, but I’m in no rush. My reading list is currently lording over me with a baseball bat and looking mighty threatening so I should probably start on that. *nervous sweating increases* 

Queer Wrap-up: Let’s jump right into this tally. Of course, we have our protagonist Danny who is living her best life, well not really but it’s a figure of speech, as a transwoman and trying to shine a light on trans superheroes and doing an ‘eh’ job at it but at least she is trying. Now we did get to see another side of Danny’s identity in the fact she is not only trans but also a lesbian. Now this wasn’t hidden in the first book, but it wasn’t the focus by a long shot, and I gushed a tad in my review about Danny’s irrefutably adorable gay panic at meeting her celebrity crush, Valkryja, but other than that and a few lines here or there the focus is definitely on Danny’s identity as a transwoman in the first book but this one brings her lesbian identity out more and I loved to see how the two mixed and how there was never any questioning there. Danny is a woman who is attracted to woman, so she is a lesbian...easy peasy. Love that for her. Now onto what moved this from a four unicorn rating for the last book to five for this one. We get the lovely romance between Sarah and Danny confirming that Sarah falls somewhere on the spectrum, though she never defines herself in any way other than loving Danny, and we know her and Charlie have dated in the past so we can assume she is also attracted to men. She could be bisexual, pansexual, we don’t know and she never says and honestly it doesn’t matter. I’m just gonna sit in my happy little queer bubble and watch her and Danny be cute. We also have the additional rep of Kinetiq, the kick ass nonbinary superhero that joins the team. They give us additional gender identity rep outside of just Danny and they are snarky and awesome to boot.

So yeah this more than earns that last unicorn by building and expanding on what the first book started and I also believe for the amazing rep and deep dive into the mind of someone being trans and just living their life as super powered and fantastical as it maybe, which is something I cannot personally speak to, I think this earns a place in the Sparkly Unicorn Hall of Gay! I swear this won’t only be YA super hero series, remember Raven: Pirate Princess is in there too!

Links: 

Goodreads

Dreadnought Review

So this book took slightly longer than the others to read mainly because I had to go to the next town over to maybe have wisdom tooth surgery. Well, that didn’t happen cause the whole state was one day out of an ice storm and was still walking bow legged but hey I got to eat something that wasn’t reheated soup for the first time in 2 days. French fries have never tasted so good! Once I dug into this book though it flew by like the rest. Remember that I found all three of these books in the library I work at so check the shelves of the ones near you, you could be surprised what they have on their shelves just waiting to be discovered. Trust me, I’m a lesbrarian.

But now I was sat most of the way through Day 2 and I was officially out of library books! Whatever would I do? Find out next time on...The Books I Read In the Dark!

[ddaenggtan]

KEY

☽ - angst | ♡ - fluff | ꕤ - smut | ⛒ - dark

i’ll be updating this as I go! this will be the first place i announce the actual publishing of fics, so y’all know when to expect them officially, but i do also have a wip list for you if you’re curious about what i’m actually physically writing. every series i post will also have its own masterlist page, which is always going to be linked with the story’s blurb and in the actual post for the fic.

✧  666 masterlist

stories that feature you, a millenia-old vampire lovingly nicknamed Medici by your friends, and the somewhat debauched and very interesting adventures you all have.

✧  monsters and gods masterlist

a series of oneshots, each centering around the greek gods and legends. learn the truth behind the myths, and see how some of these deities and creatures of old navigate the modern world.

✧ lay me gently | greek god!au |  ♡ ꕤ | 12.9k | monsters and gods pt 2 | 9.7.2019

there is no time for loneliness among the fires of your forge, no room in your buzzing mind for thoughts of anything but your next invention and the pain in your leg. your life is tilted off its axis, though, when your parents arrange a marriage without your knowledge or consent, and your new husband begins to situate himself into your life despite protests from either of you. you don’t know what zeus and hera have planned, but a volcano is no place for a love god like seokjin. 

✧ 666 butterfly kisses (666verse) | vamp!reader, fae!jin | ꕤ | 4.7k | 6.10.2019

✧   birthday candles | ꕤ | vamp!reader, werewolf!yooongi, fae prince!jin | 4kish | 11.11.2019

you’re a vampire in renaissance italy who likes earning favors from the most powerful men in the country. you just aren’t used to meeting handsome men that might be assassins and definitely give you the best orgasms of your life.

or; the first time you met the fae prince, but certainly not the last. |  666 masterlist

a few of your friends help make your birthday extra special. |  666 masterlist

✧ half-baked holiday | ♡ ꕤ | baker!jin, grump!mc, f2l, i2l | 12.6k | 04.12.19

Granny Park’s Gossip:

That Seokjin, don’t get me started on him. He’s worked hard to open and run that bakery of his, you know, and I’m so proud that it’s so successful now. Wish he would find a nice person to settle down with, though, he deserves it, as long as he’s been on his own. Well, I guess you can’t really call it alone when he’s got that grump of a best friend always hanging around him. He really should be paying her, what with all the time she spends at the bakery with him. She’s always waking up on the wrong side of the bed, but she’s not so bad when she brings me some of those cookies of his, or just around Seokjin in general, if I’m honest. Too distracted by staring at that pretty face of his, I suppose, though who can blame her? | part of The Snowball Effect Collab

✧ monachopsis | ☽ ♡ | namjin | selkie!jin, marine biologist!joon | 5.7k | 16.03.20

seokjin knows - has known, for years - that his life will be like this forever. there is no more sea, there is no more swimming, there is no more of anything he used to know. this is life - wake up, go to a shoot, try not to piss giho off, go home, sleep, wake up again. because he was caught. because giho owns him. because he can’t.

but then he meets namjoon. and seokjin starts to realize that maybe…just maybe. he can.

✧ from eden | greek god!au |  ♡ ꕤ ☽ | 15.6k | monsters and gods pt 1 | 16.6.2019   

you’ve been in the dark a long time, overworked and exhausted. the only bright point is your gatekeeper, hoseok, your closest friend and the man you love but can’t have. you’ve accepted that loneliness is inevitable for you. when a voice calls to you, though, and moves you so deeply that you rip open the earth to help them, you meet a mint-haired boy that changes everything you thought you knew about your prison. | ft jhs |  alternate ending

✧ penguins | boyfriend au | ꕤ | 3.5k | 18.7.2019

your long-time boyfriend takes you on a cute date to an aquarium, but gets a little jealous when you run into an old friend. it becomes his mission to set you back on track and remind you just who you belong to.

✧  backalley brawl (666verse) | werewolf au | 3.5k | 23.9.2019

You've been followed by a werewolf all day, and you're done being stalked in the night. Somehow you didn't expect him to need you to help him with a rather sensitive problem. 

or; yoongi’s in rut and needs someone to help him out |  666 masterlist

✧   birthday candles (666verse) | ꕤ | vamp!reader, werewolf!yooongi, fae prince!jin | 4kish | 11.11.2019

a few of your friends help make your birthday extra special. |  666 masterlist

【ｍｉｎ　ｙｏｏｎｊｉ】

✧ as we go along | ♡ ꕤ | neighbors au, e2l, pining | 10.4k | 24.12.2019

Four years ago, the beautiful stunning attractive frustrating Min Yoonji came into your life. Ever since, it’s been a competition between the two of you to win the HOA’s Holiday Decorating Contest. The fiery looks she gives you paired with the pointed insults throw you off your game every year, but not this time. This holiday season, you’re determines to win; and along the way you might just find that Yoonji’s been trying to win something else.

;OR the queer hallmark movie of your dreams. | part of the 25 Days of Christmas: A BTS Anthology

✧ amae | neighbor!hobi | ♡ | 6.7k | 28.05.2019 

amae - japanese. the way you act when you want to depend on another person. relying on someone’s goodwill and love to help you. frequently thought of as wanting to be loved and taken care of.

when someone new moves in next door, you don’t expect to become friends. everyone on your block was friendly, yes, but none of you gave more than a courteous wave when you spotted each other in passing. that changes with jung hoseok; a literature professor with sunlight gleaming out of every pore, who enjoys complex lectures, random coffee trips, and…sleeping in your hammock? curiosity gets the better of you as you befriend him, but just what could have this man sleeping in your garden hammock every night?

✧ from eden | greek god!au |  ♡ ꕤ ☽ | 15.6k | monsters and gods pt 1 | 16.6.2019  

you’ve been in the dark a long time, overworked and exhausted. the only bright point is your gatekeeper, hoseok, your closest friend and the man you love but can’t have. you’ve accepted that loneliness is inevitable for you. when a voice calls to you, though, and moves you so deeply that you rip open the earth to help them, you meet a mint-haired boy that changes everything you thought you knew about your prison. | ft myg | alternate ending

  ✧ hearts on fire | hanahaki au |  ♡ ☽ | 6.5k | 02.02.2020

Hoseok has been in love with you for as long as he can remember, and he’s beyond excited to see you married and glowing.

He just really wishes that he was the groom.

✧ give and take | mechanic!au | ♡ ꕤ | 10.5k | 18.05.2019 

when your beloved jeep breaks down, you have no choice but to take it to a mechanic for once instead of trying to fix it yourself. you fully expected to empty your wallet or get told to just buy a new car. you don’t expect to meet kim namjoon, nor do you expect him to be hot like burning, sweet as honey, and interested in you. 

✧ backseat memories | mechanic!au |  ♡ ꕤ | ongoing drabble series | 18.05.2020

A collection of memories between you and the mechanic who saved your Jeep.

;or, the give and take sequel | on ao3

✧ 666 medici drive | supernatural!au | ꕤ | 4.5k | 30.08.2019

you decide to help garden witch kim namjoon gather ingredients he needs from local incubus kim taehyung, in a much more fun way than the two originally planned. | ft kth |  666 masterlist

✧ forever rain | ghost!reader au |  ☽ ♡ ꕤ | 18.8k | 12.09.2019

being dead isn’t anything exciting. just a lot of walking the same halls of the same apartment day after day after day. things change when the new tennant arrives, though. kim namjoon isn’t anything you could have expected; not the way he’s so careful and gentle with his plants because he breaks so many other things, not the way his friends joke that he’s psychic because you refuse to let him get in the face one time, and certainly not the way he comes after literal months spent moving things away from table edges for him and announces that he knows he’s being haunted and he has some questions for you. you didn’t know ghosts could fall in love, but he makes you feel alive again, like you’re standing in the rain while thunder crashes around you. you should’ve known nothing good would come of falling in love with someone living, though. you should’ve known that heartbreak was the only way this could end. that the rain doesn’t last forever.

✧ midnight wishes | roommates/coworkers/fwb au | ☽ ♡ ꕤ | 10.3k | 21.12.2019

Granny Park’s Gossip:

That boy. Never met anyone as prone to disaster as he is while being so damned smart, except maybe that roommate of his. The two of them could probably cure cancer if they wanted to, but you leave them alone for more than a few seconds and you’re liable to come back to disaster. Jiminie did say they’ve been acting a little different, though, maybe they finally wised up and made things official instead of just humping like bunnies around that apartment of theirs. Oh, am I not supposed to say that? | part of The Snowball Effect Collab

✧ monachopsis | ☽ ♡ | namjin | selkie!jin, marine biologist!joon | 5.7k | 16.03.20

seokjin knows - has known, for years - that his life will be like this forever. there is no more sea, there is no more swimming, there is no more of anything he used to know. this is life - wake up, go to a shoot, try not to piss giho off, go home, sleep, wake up again. because he was caught. because giho owns him. because he can’t.

but then he meets namjoon. and seokjin starts to realize that maybe…just maybe. he can.

✧ coming soon ✧ 

✧ 666 medici drive | supernatural!au | ꕤ | 4.5k | 30.08.2019 

you decide to help garden witch kim namjoon gather ingredients he needs from local incubus kim taehyung, in a much more fun way than the two originally planned. | ft knj | 666 masterlist

✧ black irises in the sunshine | greek god au |  ☽ ♡ ꕤ | 14k | monsters and gods part 3 | 31.12.2019

anger is everything. other gods tease you for the short fuse, but it comes with the territory. people have called you stupid, have called you dumb, oafish, useless, incompetent, insolent, rude, arrogant. all of it. insults and mockery flung at you, but even your skin isn’t thick enough to deal with constant abuse. it’s the exact reason you keep going to the underground, knuckles bloody and bruised, fighting anyone that dared enter the cage. it’s the reason you go to the clubs, surround yourself with mortals and their writhing bodies. it’s there that you see him the first time, voice husky as it rolls through the room. it’s there you find someone who treats you differently than the rest. you just never expected him to be one of the muses.

✧ chasing butterflies | nerdy!jk | ♡ ꕤ | 12.7k | 01.06.2019 

you never meant to be a jock in school. the volleyball team had just needed people and you were there and then you had a knack for it. you just happened to be good at it and went with it. similar to how you saw jeon jungkook in your friend’s orientation group and thought he was absolutely radiant and just went with it. for two years. you’ve spent the entire time pining from afar, mostly because you always seem to make a fool of yourself when he’s around, but also because jungkook is part of that exclusive crowd, the ones that you never can seem to penetrate: the weebs. that is, until your friends get sick of your hopeless pining and decide to do something about it. | sequel drabble posted 01.09.2019

✧   birthday candles | ꕤ | vamp!reader, werewolf!yooongi, fae prince!jin, small kook feature at the end | 4kish | 11.11.2019

a few of your friends help make your birthday extra special. |  666 masterlist

© ddaenggtan, 2019. I do not give permission to have my work reposted on any site.

[taco-night-frenzy]

Hotel Wario Chapter 1

So, I’ve been working on a sequel to Mario is Missing (Detective Luigi series) for a long time now. I’ve not posted anything yet as I want it to be complete, but also at the same time, I want to post something to show that I’ve been making SOMETHING. Here’s a preview of it. The first chapter at the very least. When will it be done? It might take a year, maybe more, who knows. If you’re interested, you can always ask me for more and I’d give some more WIPs. This takes place after the events of Mario is Missing, but is also meant to be a standalone story on its own.

If you’re interested in this series, read the first one here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17734574/chapters/41841311 With all that said, enjoy the preview of Hotel Wario. (This is still a WIP)

-----------------------------------------------

“Hurry up!” Wario groaned. Sirens blared, ‘Thief!’ over his gruff voice. “Catch whoever stole MY artifact! And calm that guy down! Pretty suspicious behavior you ask me!!”

“I’m plenty calm!” Bowser roared, flames spitting out onto once pristine purple drapes. “I’m the calmest damn guy! And I’m getting out of here! I don’t care if there’s been a theft! I don’t care if this place went into lockdown! No one locks ME away!”

Newly made captain, Goombella of the New Donk Police Department, hopped in front of the King of Koopas. What in the world she expected to do against him was beyond me.

“Kammy! Do something about him! He’s just making things worse!” she shouted.

The old Magikoopa shrugged, sighing through withered and missing teeth. “At this point, nothing I say is going to stop His Ragefulness.” She adjusted her thick-rimmed glasses. “Besides, he’s fifty-fifty chance to break through.”

A rare fang-filled grin flashed across Bowser’s maw. “Aw, thanks Kammy! I knew you believed in me.”

Goombella barely dodged over one of Bowser’s stray claw attacks, nearly slicing her into tiny Goomba bits. “You realize fifty percent isn’t exactly believing in you, y’know?”

“Shut up!” Bowser screeched, his fists pounding into a plate of reinforced steel. The entire hotel shook under his power, its residents and onlookers screaming as ritzy glasses and plates shattered against the floor. “That’s more than I usually get!”

Kammy’s broom puttered above the tile, completely unphased by the shaking. She was unhappy but used to it.

“Stop all this final boss fighting nonsense!” Dr. Crygor wailed, his lone cybernetic eye practically crying in terror. Maybe we really were related… “My security system is still in its early phases! It hasn’t been tested for this kind of thing!”

Wario lounged atop his throne, greedily digging for ‘gold’ in his ear. “Yeah, ain’t you guys cops or somethin���? Get on it, will ya?” It wasn’t just him. Plenty of the other guests stayed at their seats in the dining room, either watching Bowser’s rampage in fear or in delight. No one wanted to stop him, least of all me.

Ex-Captain Toadette (really just Toadette) pummeled Bowser’s shell with a pack of fire balls. She had grabbed a nearby Fire Flower out of one of the vases. The fireballs did nothing but bring his attention to her.

“Ex-cop!” Toadette corrected. She really liked telling everyone she was no longer in the NDPD.

A strange man in a bright red scarf with a shiny dome sitting near me said, “Did she say X-Naut? I’ve never seen her.” He sputtered. “I mean, not that I know of any X-Nauts of course!!!” Everyone ignored him. There were more pressing things going on at the moment.

“See! I knew this would happen!” Bowser slashed through another drape, just barely missing a boneheaded old man. His eyes caught on said old man, flashing with a genius idea. “You guys always blame everything on me!” Without a second thought, his massive claws wrapped around the old man’s huge shiny head. “I’ve never done anything WRONG!” he screamed as he tossed the old man at what seemed like lightspeed towards Toadette and Goombella.

“Oww!!” the old man wailed as his thick skull slammed against a small table, narrowly missing the two girls. Afterwards, he brushed himself off and went back to wobbling through the dining room, mumbling incoherently like nothing happened.

“Ehhh, you know,” Wario grumbled, chomping raw garlic in his open mouth as he spoke, “You’re really only going higher on my list of suspicious people. You got plenty of places to hide my super rare artifact on that shell of yours!” His voice lowered as he thought to himself. “Maybe I should get me one of those…”

Bonk! Goombella landed a hit in the soft red patch of hair between Bowser’s horns.

“Ugh!!!” Bowser yowled, tears forming at the edges of his eyes. “That hurts you know! Physically and emotionally!”

Toadette and Goombella stood before the raging Bowser breathless and bruised. It seemed they had only managed to make him angrier. They weren’t exactly suited for taking on major bosses like Bowser, but that didn’t stop them.

Why? It was pointless to try.

Their eyes finally met with mine. They were desperate. Angry.

“Luigi! Help us out!”

W-what!? Me? What was I supposed to do against him? I would only make this worse! I’d just get in the way! I deemed it necessary to put my foot down. I would no longer be putting myself in situations I didn’t want to be in!

“No, thank-a-you,” I mumbled, barely heard over the blaring sirens. I had been learning to stand up for myself lately! That was something to be proud of.

Right?

The girls’ eyes widened like they couldn’t believe what they were hearing. Before they could protest, Bowser came barreling into them, his huge heavy body separating them as he slammed shell first into the metal door.

Bowser rubbed the sore spot of his shell and head before realizing, hey, that didn’t hurt much at all! I’m greater than I realized! Gahahaha. (I assume that’s what he thought. He’s very easy to read.)

“See, that’s why I like you!” Bowser pointed the tip of his claw my way. “You know who the good guy is around here! You know better than to get in my way!”

Even though he was praising me, shame welled up inside my throat. Why? He never would have said that to Mario…

“I don’t think I can do this,” Goombella admitted with a wince. “I’m not cut out for being captain, am I?”

“I’ve only just learned to jump from my construction job!” Toadette whined, completely out of breath. “This is way out of my league, too!”

I could have told them that!! I wouldn’t, of course, because that’s mean and I’m terrified of conflict, but I could have! They should have just stayed back with me!

“Gahahaha! That’s what happens when wimps try to stand up to me!” Flames licked the air around Bowser’s maw and his fangs grinded together till they were molten red. “Now, time for some roasted mushroom with a side of unruly minion!”

I didn’t want to watch, but my eyes stayed glued on my old friends as Bowser readied his fire breath.

“Yoohoooo!” an airy voice yelled in from the crowd. Before Bowser could react, she was on him in a flash, her orange suit nothing but a blur. A sporty shoe slammed into Bowser’s massive maw, sending flames spiraling through the air, narrowly missing my fellow diners.

The mysterious orange heroine landed on her feet with a bit of a stumble before saying her weird nonsense line. “Yes!!! Daisy!”

Ah… of course it was her.

“Sorry I didn’t show up sooner! Everyone was distracted by the noise, so I figured it was the perfect time to raid the mini bar and stuff myself full of those delicious fried Blooper rings.” Crumbs fell out of her mouth ungracefully onto her fancy suit. She didn’t care.

Goombella’s eyes lit up like a Bob-omb on its birthday. “That was so cool!!” For whatever reason, Goombella looked up to the sports-super-star that was Daisy. “But… are you okay?” Daisy looked like she was having trouble standing on the foot that had just kicked Bowser in the face.

“No!! I’m not okay!” Bowser whined, holding a claw over his bruised cheek. “Did anyone think to ask about ME? Geez, lady, are you wearing cleats?? What the hell’s wrong with you?!”

“Oh no, I think it’s broken,” Toadette said, checking over Daisy’s ankle.

Daisy shrugged, stuffing another Blooper ring into her mouth. Gross. She was keeping them in her pocket. “Eh, you know, it happens! Whatever!”

Kammy Koopa puttered up to Bowser, shaking her head. “Are you finished, Your Whinyness?”

“Yeah, I’m done! Whatever!” Bowser threw his claws up into the air before quickly rubbing his hurt jaw again. “Kammy, how bad is it?”

“The door’s barely got a dent.”

“No!! I meant my poor face…”

“You’re fine.”

“Ugh! Well if this is going to happen just because I’m trying to help us all get out of here, then forget it! It’s not worth it!” Bowser wailed.

An enhanced cybernetic voice finally spoke up. “M-might I suggest we all return to our rooms for the time being and see if we can’t get this sorted out?” Dr. Crygor said shakily. His eye shone with a subtle pride once he realized his security door had held up even against King Bowser.

Wario waved lazily at the staring crowd. “Yeah! Go on! Get out of here! You all bother me!”

Well… that was probably for the best. Maybe I could sort out what in the world just happened. Plus, I really wasn’t enjoying the burning glares that Toadette and Goombella were sending my way.

I quickly scampered up to Daisy, who was having trouble walking. I offered to help, and she much too quickly accepted, putting a ton of weight around my neck as she wrapped an arm around my shoulder. She was still eating those Blooper rings as she limped up the stairs…

Goombella and Toadette followed us to our rooms. Daisy quickly plopped down onto her bed without a care in the world while the other two girls fretted over her. I, of course, shuffled over to the doorway, trying to stay out of the way.

“Y’know, if you want to leave, then just leave!” Goombella growled my way. “Ugh, what a mess…”

Oh no… I really messed up, didn’t I? I quickly looked to Toadette who shook her head, avoiding eye contact with me. Daisy was busy stuffing her face. Maybe it really was best I went back to my own room after all.

My room was just next door to Daisy’s. I wouldn’t be far if they needed anything. I’d make sure to try to listen for anything this time. With a sigh, I let myself into my room and sat on the bed. It was empty. It was quiet. It was lonely.

I suppose I had nothing better to do than to write in you, my notebook. It’d been a long time. Plus, maybe it’d help put all this craziness into perspective. I didn’t expect this trip to go the way it did! But where to even start...?

This is a new notebook, so I suppose I should go as far back as I can. I’m writing this on Mario’s spare notebooks since he made more for himself than me. I would hate to see them gather dust. Anyway…

Let’s-a-go…

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It must have only been a few days ago when everything felt it’s most… normal. As normal as it can be at the office. It’s been about a year since my last little ‘mystery’ and to be honest, I was hoping it would be my last. The problem was, the Mario Bros. Detective Agency was still fairly popular and well known thanks to my brother.

I shouldn’t complain about that, I know. The real problem was that our office/apartment needed money. Buildings can’t just be lived in for free! Stupid isn’t it?

Good afternoon, Luigi! You have 301 unread messages today! Up from yesterday’s 287. A new record yet again! Congratulations! Would you like to read them?

No thank you, TEC.

(I was typing this on my old desktop computer. TEC is a lone supercomputer that I rescued from an abandoned factory. He’s very sweet, but maybe a little too eager. Because he’s no longer connected to his old factory and can only use my computer, he’s been a little downgraded. But he seems happier.)

Of course! If you would like, I could give you the shortened version of each message to save you ti-

No thank you, TEC.

Not a problem. Okay! Well, of your 301 messages, I would like to note that 5 are marked IMPORTANT as they have to do with the subject matter of your overdue rent. Would you like me to-

No thank you, TEC.

Fair enough! I’m not sure if this is the best course of action, but-

I was hoping we could skip this, and I could do a search for birds? Pigeons to be precise. I am in the mood for pigeons today.

Oh, do I have some amazing pictures of pigeons for you! I have stumbled upon a strange trend where people ‘shop’ pictures of human arms onto birds and I find it most humorous! I think you will like it, too! However, there is one last alert…

What is it, TEC.

I have one new message marked ‘Family.’ You have me set to prioritize any and all messages with this marker. Would you like to see-

What!? Who is it from?! Who could it be from? Yes! Open it!

Right away! The sender is a man called Wario who is apparently your cousin! Here are the contents-

Delete.

Er. Error. I … thought you wanted me to open the message and read it to you? I’ve actually wanted to give you a message for so long and I just-

Mark as spam. Delete.

If… you say so. I know that I am just the world’s most mediocre computer now, but I wish I could understand you sometimes, Luigi.

It’s okay. Sorry if I seemed cross with you, TEC. I’ve been feeling a little stressed. People keep trying to contact me for detective jobs and that’s just not who I am.

I see. I do not know if it is any consolation, Luigi, but I do not think you need to live in your brother’s shoes forever. I have come to accept that I am the world’s most mediocre computer. In fact, I am happy with it! I think you could very easily be the world’s most mediocre detective!

… … Thank you, TEC.

You’re very welcome! :) <---- That is a smiley face. I am learning how to better express myself! Now! About those pictures of pigeons with arms…

Loading…

As the armed avian began to slowly pixelate on my screen, the front door slammed open, followed by both a shriek from myself and a shout from my ‘secretary.’

“Hey! Stop looking at pictures of birds, weirdo!” Daisy screamed, barreling towards my humble little desk. “I’ve got some cool news!”

I quickly grabbed Marissa and Charlie and huddled them close against my chest. Daisy had a bad habit of knocking them over when she got excited.

(Oh! This is a new notebook, so I guess I should explain. Marissa and Charlie are my Fire Flowers! I keep them together in a cute little pipe plant pot! They love each other and I love them.)

Neon red light illuminated Daisy. The mushroom sign outside my window was as bright as ever. She was sopping wet from the rain outside but didn’t seem to care as per usual. It doesn’t get particularly cold in New Donk City even though it is always raining but for some reason Daisy was still wearing her sporty shorts like always.

(If I explained Charlie and Marissa, I suppose I should explain Daisy too…)

Daisy is kind of my new roommate? She’s not on the lease, and she didn’t ask for permission to stay here. But she likes to sleep on my couch, watch my TV, eat my leftovers, and generally bother TEC with ridiculous requests and the occasional unsavory virus. She’s loud, she’s obnoxious, she smokes, she’s overly pushy, and she doesn’t do a very good job at answering the telephone.

But for some reason, I could never kick her out. It’s nice having someone around. It’s nice to have someone to cook for. She tells the noisy Shy Guys next door to ‘Shut up!’ if they’re being too loud. She buys me more time with the Pianta landlord when I don’t pay rent. She tells potential clients to ‘Buzz off!’ when I inevitably say I don’t want to take their case.

“Hey!” She stamped her foot on the carpet, staining it evermore. “Are you listening to me? You’re staring off into the next galaxy again!”

I sighed. I was listening. I just didn’t want to.

“Aaand you’re doing your mumbling thing where I’m not sure if you’re actually talking again. Great. Usual stuff. Whatever.”

She rummaged through the tiny pockets in her shorts and pulled out a soggy cigarette. Under normal circumstances, nobody would get that thing lit up. Daisy was not normal. She was a sports super star! Master of soccer, tennis, baseball, go-karting, partying, and very recently she got into fighting as well. No one knows how she’s so good at so many things. She just is.

I personally think it’s because she’s a few Power Stars short in the upstairs department. You know. She’s more brawn than brain.

“You say somethin’?” she growled, wet cigarette between her lips and a harsh glare in her eyes.

N-nope!

“I figured.” She knelt down over my desk, dripping all over it, putting her face uncomfortably close to mine. The tip of her cigarette glowed red hot after touching the Fire Flower’s petal. She let out a black sigh. “Thanks Charlie.”

That’s Marissa!!!

“Marissa. Geez. Sorry.” She rolled her eyes and lounged atop my desk, her legs kicking over some letters I didn’t want to look at anyway.

So… I had thought Daisy had something to tell me? Maybe she had forgotten. That would have been nice.

“Oh, right,” she said, her voice slow and deliberate. Smoking always calmed her down. I didn’t like it, but it had its benefits with her. “Yeah, so I was out jogging, right? I got a tennis tournament coming up and Coach Bobbery wants me exercising a bit more or whatever. He’s a pain in the ass, but who cares.”

I still don’t like that language by the way. I also wished she could get to the point.

“I’m out running by Bowser’s place to get my ‘medication’ you know?” She smirked. Agh. She meant Honey Syrup. A drink meant to energize the body, but only to be taken in small doses. Bowser and his gang sell the stuff on the streets, and it is strong. It’s not healthy. There’s a lot of addicts. I worry over Daisy. She’s actually using less lately, surprisingly.

“And you wouldn’t believe it, some complete Toadhead zooms by in a bright purple car, laughing like crazy!” Daisy did not use the word ‘Toad’ there, but I’m not writing down the actual word. “Guy nearly hit me! Didn’t care at all! He was just tossing out flyers! One of them hits me right in the face, right?”

Oh no. I knew where this was going.

“So, I look at this stupid thing, and you’ll never guess what it’s for and who was driving!”

… I had a pretty good guess.

“It was Wario! That fat freak that smells like farts and always yells at people! Turns out the flyer is for a brand-new hotel that he built! He used the riches he found from an ark-ey-log-all dig to pay for it! Apparently, it’s super spiffy.” I think she meant to say archeological…

Well that was some nice information, but was it leading anywhere?

“I mean, yeah, normally I wouldn’t care either, but then I remembered!!” Daisy shot up straight, grinning like a Boo in a moldy mansion. “That big idiot actually invited me to his grand opening! He’s inviting all of New Donk City’s biggest names to stay there for free! Some kind of promotional thing I’m sure.” She finally turned to face me, as if she remembered I was here. “I’m not one for these fancy pants parties, but I got to thinking! Free food! Free beds! Everyone’s gonna be there! I could probably get a great score off Bowser.”

I gulped. I didn’t like where this was going. Plus, wasn’t she already rich? Why would it matter if its free or not?

“Ah, man, you just don’t get it!” Daisy waved me off. “Free is free! Plus…isn’t that guy your cousin?”

Oh no. That’s the last thing I wanted her to say.

“And, no offense, but you’re totally struggling to pay rent, aren’t you?” Her eyes dug into me like a Monty Mole. “There’s no way the Mario Bros. weren’t invited. I’m sure a rich cousin like him could help you out. I’m not going to keep paying your rent when your landlord comes knocking.”

It was time to break out my secret technique! “No thank-a-you! I wasn’t-a-invited anyway.”

Daisy scowled, black puffs of smoke blowing out the side of her lips. “You’re lying.”

I-I’m not! I swear!

Fearing no boundaries and no personal bubbles, Daisy dove over the desk onto me and my chair. “TEC! Has Luigi gotten any messages from Wario lately?”

No! Not TEC! Anyone but him! He’s too nice to lie!

Oh! Hello, Daisy! I can tell it’s you because of all the spelling errors. Why yes! Just the other day Luigi received a very interesting message!

I scrambled underneath her, trying to push her off, trying to get her away, but her incredibly muscular hands and legs proved to be too much for my scrawny arms. For most people, all I had to do was cry and act pathetic and that’d get them off my case. It never worked on Daisy…

“Oh really?” Daisy said with a scowl, practically punching each key in. “And what did it say?”

Yes, ‘rly!’ Luigi had me delete its contents before I could read it however. But I can tell you that the title was ‘Wahahaha! You’re Invited to the Grand Opening of My New Hotel! Click inside for details! (Not a scam this time!)’

No, no, no, no, no!! I’m saying no! I can say it! No! No!! I don’t want to do that! I don’t want to meet loosely related family! I don’t want to go outside and talk to people! Least of all weird family members I don’t know very well!

“Uh-uh!” Daisy wagged her finger at me. “Not this time, bub. I’ve declined way too many jobs for you! I’ve tried to let you do things at your own pace! But you won’t accept anything! Why just a couple weeks ago I had to say you wouldn’t help some sweet ghost girl! If she had a heart, I’m sure it would have been broken because of you! I mean, I personally didn’t care, but she sounded really sad!”

Agh, she wasn’t supposed to tell me about the clients I was rejecting! I can’t handle the guilt..

“Besides! This isn’t even -ugh, quit crying! Are you serious?- This isn’t even a job! It’s a free stay at a hotel! You need to get out more!”

I don’t have anything to wear! It’s probably got a fancy dress code!

“Oh, please. It’s a hotel. You can come wearing whatever you want! No one will care. I know I’ll be wearing whatever I want.”

No!!!

“Geez, you’ve got more issues than me,” Daisy grumbled. “Listen. It’s. A. Hotel. You can stay in your room for all anyone cares. It’ll be fine.”

I… hm… I guess that wouldn’t be so bad. A change of scenery from this damp dreary office did sound rather nice.

“Aha! See? I told you! I’m gonna RSVP you right now! TEC!!!” She slammed her hands on the keyboard.

… … I assume you want me to reply that Luigi will be attending after all? The message may be deleted, but I could still easily search the nearest scam site and find Wario’s organization.

yAA!!!!!1111 -dAiSy

Of course. I’d be happy to. I hope Luigi enjoys his time there.

“Woo hoo!!!!” Daisy yelled. “Now order us up a pizza from Tayce T.’s!! I’m starving!”

Like always, I had the feeling I wouldn’t enjoy this hotel trip. Like always, I catastrophized and feared the worst would happen. I wish I was ever wrong.

I also wished Daisy would remember she’s still sitting on me!

[sagemoderocklee]

Ooh, directors commentary on TAOL?? I know it's an epic so maybe just on the chapter where Lee and Gaara are traveling in Jade Country :3

sorry for letting this sit in my ask box for a couple days. i got kinda sidetracked and then had to go back to work today, which is not a fun time tbh but the evils of capitalism and so on....

anyways, im thrilled you asked for this particular part of TAoL because I absolutely loved that chapter (x) and put a lot of work into it between building up the culture of Gyokukakushin and making sure all the Arabic and Chinese I used was legit (which is partly why it took like 4 months to write). plus the chapter has a lot of great GaaLee moments that make me really happy.

one of my biggest downfalls as a writer is how long it takes me to actually finish anything. as i think most people who follow my writing know, i tend to prefer lengthier stories with lots of heavy politics, and that tends to mean that the build up of romance takes a while... which is again how i like it. i prefer a slow burn--a proper slow burn, not these 2k fics tagged slow burn. i mean, 100k into the story and the most you’ve got is an accidental hand brushing another and some intense eye contact... which admittedly TAoL has given more than just a little bit of physical contact and intense staring, but my point is that when i say slow burn i mean S L O W

anyways, onto the actual director’s commentary

So, Jade Province--as it’s not a country in itself, but a province within Wind Country--is a sprawling section of the south-east portion of Wind. I started building Jade Province and its capitol, Gyokukakushin sometime before I started on Ch10 of TAoL, but it was all a very loose idea. I’d initially conceptualized some things about it for the one shot I wrote, Keepsakes, because I’d been doing some background work on the Kazekage lineage and the culture surrounding the Kazekage family--such as arranged marriages, treaties, etc.

My idea is that Karura and Yashamaru are actually from Gyokukakushin. They would have been the children of a person in the political sphere within the capitol, and the marriage between Karura and Rasa would have been arranged early on and she would have been sent to Suna as a pre-teen or teen so that she would feel that Suna was home. I imagine she and Rasa would have married sometime when she was between 18-20. This was the main reason Rasa was able to take on the roll of Kazekage, based on the family tree I built up for the Kazekage line--he was the only one who was married and could produce heirs.

Not that any of this ever comes up during TAoL. In fact, Gaara doesn’t even realize that in going to Gyokukakushin he’s actually visiting half of his ancestral home. However, there’s a lot of fun hints about his connection to Gyokukakushin if you recall the many mentions of the color the same shade as Gaara’s eyes in that chapter. This was a specific nod to his heritage, and something that the locals definitely would have been fascinated by because there’s lots of significance surrounding that particular color in the region. I also wanted to use the reference to his eyes to highlight Lee’s particular fascination with Gaara’s appearance, and especially the element of Gaara’s eyes and the many ways he looks at Lee.

The biggest challenge within this chapter, of course, was the fact that I was using languages I’m not familiar with and had to find a good place to gather resources. Thanks to @ghoste-catte I discovered that reddit (of all places) has a translation subreddit which I was able to use to help bring that aspect of the story to life in an organic and respectful way. My Japanese is rusty, but I have a much better grasp on it than I do Chinese or Arabic, and so I spent many, many, many, many, many..... many hours searching for resources, watching YT vidoes, at the bookstore--I even bought a small book on Arabic. In the end, the subreddit was way more helpful than anything else because it allowed me the chance to get more concrete explanations from native speakers, so I could understand exactly why something was said the way it was. Most of the phrases used in that chapter aren’t really Gaara saying anything special--things like “be quiet” or “stop”--which I usually alluded to with Lee racking his brain trying to drudge up the vocabulary Gaara has taught him.

However, there’s one line--which I hope people did not turn to google translate for--that makes me especially happy, and that line really would not have been possible without that subreddit. I think the best part about being able to successfully navigate the challenge of using other languages is creating the same confusion Lee feels for those readers who doesn’t know those languages, and for those who do, offering them a nice glimpse at what’s going on that Lee cannot grasp. It’s fun and really changes the experience for each reader.

Language is such a beautiful and intricate aspect of people and culture, and my biggest fear with approaching the use of Arabic and Chinese was not only saying the wrong thing, but being disrespectful. So it was an incredibly good experience, and I was incredibly lucky to receive the help I did!

Building up the tension between Gaara and Lee was something I’d really wanted to execute well, too. It’s not often I write stories where the romance doesn’t start from scratch. With TAoL, Lee needed to already be in love with Gaara, and that was a big stress for me because I’m constantly asking myself: is this earned? I think one of the biggest failings of fanfiction is that people don’t ask that question. You really have to ask if your romance is earned. If your character growth is earned. If a redemption arc is earned. And I constantly worry that I’m moving too quickly with romance in particular, especially for Gaara and Lee. I’m not big on putting them together without a lot of development, and I’m not big on established relationship fics (that aren’t sequels) for them either. I like the work it takes to get them together, I like the journey of getting them together. And I don’t like it to be easy.

But for me, TAoL is one of my best actualized works. I think Alliance really helped me build the skills I needed to execute a story like TAoL on so many levels--from the complicated political landscapes, to the cultures, to the relationships between each character. And so I do feel like Lee being in love with Gaara at this point in their lives makes sense, and does work despite the fact that we didn’t see him fall in love with Gaara during the course of this fic. There are subtle nods to his feelings for Gaara in the early chapters, but I didn’t go too hard at indicating those feelings until really the second Lee chapter, this chapter I’m talking about now. I think there were some hints in the first Lee chapter--the chapter where he broke Gaara out of prison and whisked him away from Suna--but I tried to keep those things to a minimum, partly to not over do it and ease people in to that, and partly because I wanted to keep the suspense alive surrounding the real purpose for Lee being in Suna.

So when they get to Gyokukakushin, it really gave me a much better chance at showcasing his feelings. There were moments prior to Gyokukakushin, but those were from Gaara’s PoV--like the moment within the destroyed village, Myoujou, where they’re hiding from the group of shinobi and Gaara’s trying desperately to get Lee to focus his chakra enough to mask it.

But the success of that particular moment is lost on Gaara because he doesn’t really know how Lee feels about him at that point in time, so his impact on Lee is entirely lost to him....not to mention he’s dealing with a lot of grief and trauma, so he hardly has the wherewithal to be paying attention to whether or not his rescuer is secretly in love with him.

One of my favorite tender moments is this one:

“Do you have a favorite word?” Lee asked, before a yawn interrupted him.

“In Indigosi? Or in general?”

“Both.”

Gaara glanced at Lee from the corner of his eye. “Affection,” he murmured, almost as though he were afraid to admit it. “In Indigosi...” Gaara was silent, his gaze shifting away from Lee to the window. A warmth spread across his brown skin, a blush rising on his high cheekbones. “Rohi.”

He looked down at Lee, something bright behind his eyes.

Heat burned Lee's face like an inferno. “What does that mean?”

Gaara looked away again, hiding from Lee in plain sight. “My soul." The words hung in the air with some other meaning, one that Lee could not decipher. Gaara would forever be a paradox, an ever expanding puzzle for Lee to piece together. He didn't ever want to figure him out completely, but he would never stop trying to get as close to epiphany as he could.

“That is beautiful,” Lee told him as another yawn overtook him.

“I should let you sleep,” Gaara said, moving to get up.

Lee stopped him with an imploring hand against Gaara's forearm. “Stay? You did not finish telling me about your trip to Dusk Country.”

“You kept interrupting,” Gaara teased lightly, settling back into place.

Lee smiled up at him, ever so slightly cheeky. “I promise I will be quiet.”

“You're going to fall asleep,” Gaara corrected.

“Probably. It is very late.”

I love so many of the emotional scenes from this particular chapter, but I love how simple and sweet this moment is. There’s such a wealth of affection in small actions, and I really wanted to highlight that Lee and Gaara have grown closer during their time traveling from Myoujou to Gyokukakushin, and things that were born of necessity (like sleeping close together for warmth) are now things done because they want to. There’s comfort in the closeness of sitting next to one another, there’s something peaceful about Lee falling asleep while Gaara talks to him. It’s a nice moment, less high emotion and more quiet contentment, which I think is much needed after everything they’ve been through.

I think that my other favorite scene would be the scene on the beach, right after they’ve watched the sand artist and Gaara makes his model of Suna. That scene is a complicated affair for Lee because he’s both enjoying his time with Gaara and feeling guilty for enjoying that time together. And of course Gaara’s got a lot going on too, which Lee can only guess at.

One of the other things I really enjoyed about this chapter is the fact of Lee and Gaara being in disguise, and really the use of their aliases. I particularly like any excuse to get Gaara to call Lee “Ren”. I’m particularly in love with that stroke of genius regarding Lee’s alias, and there’s a certain emotion, a certain connection that I really hope I could convey with how they use each other’s aliases.

I could probably talk about this chapter forever, but unfortunately there’s also thins I don’t want to say at the risk of spoiling future chapters since this is still a WIP (and probably will be for a while longer, though we’re almost halfway there! Two more chapters to the halfway mark!) Thank you so much for sending this particular ask anon! I had fun chatting about it and I hope you enjoyed reading my comments! 

[grody-cosplay-n-crap]

To wake is to die

A sequel to this  but it can be read separately. It is angst because I hate myself, just a warning 

on ao3

_____________________________________________________________

Richie Tozier basically had the perfect life. Okay, maybe some people might disagree but they were idiots. So a bunch of dude bros had redacted their idolization of him recently, they couldn’t have known how hollow the life of the Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier they though they knew and loved had really been.

Without actually opening his eyes he pats the side of the bed next to him clumsily. It’s empty but the sheets are still warm and he smiles into what he is pretty sure is his own drool spot. The need to find the source of the warmth finally forces his body out of bed, grabbing his glasses and all but stumbling into the living room and open kitchen area. Ah, there he was. In a pair of (probably moisture-wicking and antibacterial) boxers and an over sized shirt that had been given out for free at one of his fun runs (an oxymoron, there was nothing fun about running). He was making one of his super healthy smoothies that almost tasted good until he added yeast or seaweed or some shit and….was he humming a little? Holy shit that was cute. Richie quietly watched with appreciation for a few more moments before stepping forward and grabbing two big handfuls of ass.

“Jesus Christ!” Eddie screeched, dropping some kind of leafy green on the ground.

“I would say sorry to disappoint but I’m pretty sure you’d rather see me than Jesus any day.” Eddie turned around, scowling.

“You’re lucky we have  guest room or your ego and I wouldn’t both be able to live here.”

“Love it when you roast me babe.” Eddie’s mouth did that super cute thing where his lips got even thinner, pressing together with displeasure. He brandished a knife between them.

“ I could have cut off my fucking fingers off then gotten gangrene and died. Then only two people would have watched your Netflix premier instead of three.”

“Ouch, Eds gets another good one.” Richie says backing him closer to the counter in the cage he had made with his arms.

“No. Nope. I am not doing this fucking insult based foreplay first thing in the morning.” Eddie says slipping his way out like the tiny ninja he is. Richie watched appreciatively as he starts digging through the fridge.

“Are you sure the interview will be all wrapped up by 7?”

“You do know it’s not the 90’s anymore and we can watch things whenever we want,” A glare “But yeah for sure.” He tilts his head as Eddie bends all the way down to the vegetable crisper.

“Good. I’ll tell everyone to get here by then.”

“Everyone?” Richie raised an eyebrow. “Does Bill count as “everyone”?”

“No,” he replies sarcastically “Everyone is Bill, Bev and Ben.”

“Bev and-” Rich was actually slightly speechless “They flew out just for my….stupid Netflix special??”

“Well they have money to burn” Eddie says frowning at some kind of scary green juice “And it’s not stupid!” He turns looking at Richie seriously “It’s your first special for Netflix, and the first time you’ve had a set you wrote all by yourself since you were probably 25. Everyone needs to watch it and find out if you completely shit the bed or not.”

“You were at the filming-”

“Unimportant.” Eddie interrupts, finally choosing some bright orange juice to put in the smoothie. God damn it Richie was going to marry the shit out of him one day.

—————————————————————————————————

Richie was practically vibrating with excitement on the way back from the interview, like some damn kid going to a sleepover. Walking in there was a chorus of his name being yelled with various levels of volume and enthusiasm.

“You bastards start pre-gaming without me?” He laughed as Bev threw her arms around him.

“We have to be a little drunk yo deal with you Trashmouth!” More hugs were given around before they settled around his (definitely not too big) television.

“How did the interview go?” Ben asked kindly.

“Great, like they all do-”

“Were there a lot of…” Bill cut in “Uh…”

“Gay questions?” Richie laughed.

“Did you officially come out?” Bev asked, perking up.

“I mean the special is called “Gay Clown”-”

“You said that was just a joke title-!!”

“So I think some people might have figured it out.” “Your social media is also super gay.” Bev said matter-of-factly.

“It is.” Ben says, staring ahead of him blankly. “Hey Eddie?”

“Hm?” the man replied, still staring at the computer where he was trying to Skype Mike in.

“Your running shorts are too small.” Eddie’s head whipped around as he started sputtering indignant curses, everyone else roaring with laughter.

“Don’t listen babe,” Richie says once he can speak again. “Your shorts are perfect.”

“Fuck you.”

——————————————————————————————————-

When they finally reach Mike at whatever paradise he was currently in they que up the special.

“This better be good Rich, I could be on the beach right now.”

“No promises.”

It is in fact very enjoyable for all of them. Bill, Bev and Ben all crying with laughter at one point. He thought even Mike’s eyes looked at little damp. Richie gets to enjoy the warm satisfied feeling of making people laugh again, from his own jokes. Even better when it was people you knew and cared about. But what really made his heart flutter so hard he though he might need medication was Eddie. He would glance at the others when a punchline was coming up, smiling with what looked like pride when everyone would double over laughing. Richie was so fucking in love it hurt.

——————————————————————————————————-

After everyone had tipsily left in their ubers Eddie had come up and held him from behind uncharacteristically tenderly.

“I really am proud of you Rich.” He spoke into his back.

“Whoa,” Richie said, feeling a heat spreading out from his chest. “I don’t know how to handle this sweet Eddie.” He turned, reaching up to gently grasp the shorter man’s waist.

“Shut the fuck up.”

Richie did, but only because his mouth was very busy pressing to Eddie’s. After a moment and a hum the angle changed and Eddie’s ( unfairly ripped) arms came up around his neck and he could help but think he’d let him put him in a choke hold any day.

‘Get it together Tozier.” He chastised himself as he pressed their bodies tighter together.

“So is all your material going to be about being gay now?” Eddie pulled back and smirked.

“I had a public mental breakdown, went back to my hometown and came back gay with a hot ass twunk boyfriend.” Eddie mouthed 'twunk?’ “That’s a fucking great story, everyone should hear it at least twice.”

“Too bad you can’t tell them the best parts of the story.” His boyfriend said sarcastically.

“I went from Richie Tozier bro womanizer to Richie Tozier gay stud homewrecker in less than a week, that’s way fucking better than the fucking clown.”

“Again with the ego.”

“Hey you’re the one who got seduced away from your wife-”

“Beep beep.” Eddie interrupted, grabbing his face and bringing their lips back together. Richie nearly groaned out loud, casually sliding one of his legs between Eddie’s.

“Rich,” he breathed “I’m not sure-”

“Hey, we’re both not 21 anymore, I don’t think I can get a successful boner this buzzed either.” Richie smirked, that swimming feeling behind his eyes becoming more noticeable.

“You’re gross.” Eddie frowned, then more quietly, almost shyly “But you know we both have tomorrow completely open…”

“Well lets go the fuck to sleep right now then.” Richie said, trying to burn the soft blush over Eddie’s cheekbones into into his memory. He power walked towards the bedroom practically ripping his clothes off. Eddie leaned on the door frame watching softly.

“Rich,” he looked over, almost breathless at the sight “I love you.”

Oh fuck, he was so fucking gone. This was too much. “Eds” he said trying to keep his voice from breaking “I love-”

Richie woke up.

It was violent, his whole body jerking. He panicked staring into the blackness, not understanding for a moment why he couldn’t see. His arm shot out feeling the half of the bed next to him. It was cold.

'No.’ he thought 'No, that’s not fucking fair.’

He practically falls out of bed, dry heaving several times on the floor. A grief so strong it felt like he had been stabbed ripped through him. It took several minutes for his lungs to remember to work again, broken sobs ripping out of his body instead of breaths. He sounded inhuman, like a dying animal. He felt as if all warmth in the world had been snuffed out, he couldn’t remember what what warmth had even felt like.

It wasn’t. Fucking. Fair.

For a few agonizing heartbeats he waited to see if the memories would be ripped out of his mind again, when they stayed he grabbed wildly for his phone, stumbling out onto his balcony. The city was awake as always, he could hear a siren in the distance. His hands were shaking so hard he nearly dropped the phone repeatedly trying to scroll through his contacts. His vision was more blurred than usual from the endless tears. He finally spotted a name. Bev. Clumsily he slammed the call button. No one picked up. He called again. And again.

Finally a groggy “Hello?”

“Bev.” he croaked, knowing he must sound like a mad man.

“Hello? Who is-?”

“Richie.”

“Oh, well how can I help you Richie?”

He clenched his jaw so hard he thought his teeth would break. She had the fake voice of someone disgruntled by being woken by a stranger, but who was forcing themselves to stay polite. He felt sick.

“Did you see it? You said you saw all of us, so did you know??”

“Excuse me?”

“Did you know he was going to die in….in that fucking place!! Did you see- why didn’t you try to stop it?!” His voice was rising, becoming a yell. Some part of him knew that if she could Bev would have done anything to change their fates. But it was a small part of him, a dying part.

“I’m sorry-I don’t-” Richie could hear a male voice in the background now, low and concerned.

“Is that Ben?” He demanded, hearing a soft gasp “Tell him- you fucking tell him he should have fucking left me down there! He should have left me with him!!” His voice was still rising, becoming hysterical.

“Richie-” A little recognition now, a little panic.

“They fucking pulled me out, for what? To save my life??” He laughed bitterly. The tears wouldn’t stop, and he could feel his head begin to pound. “Easy for him-for you, both of you. It’s easy to keep going together isn’t it? You got your happy ending.” he spat. They didn’t deserve that. They were his friends, he loved them. It didn’t matter.

“I loved him-” he choked out “I loved him and you should have let me stay-” he broke off wheezing out sobs. There was a pause , then

“Eddie….”

“Y-yeah. Eddie. You fucking remember now?” Ben’s voice was louder now, more frantic.

“Was there and order Bev? Did you know he was next? After Stan?” Stan. His heart throbbed again and he felt like doubling over. “Did you know it would be me after that?” He continued very quietly.

“Richie-” it was Ben and Bev now, she had switched it to speaker phone. “Calm down honey, please-”

“We figured we killed it and saved ourselves, huh? Only lost two out of seven, that’s a pretty good percent. But-” He swallowed heavily, heaving out a shaky breath. “that fucking clown is going to get one more of us before it’s all over. Sorry to mess up the statistics.”

“Richie please stop- just listen, it’s going to be okay. I don’t know what happened but-I’ll call Bill-I think he can-just stay there okay Rich-” Bev’s voice rapidly faded as his phone slipped out of his hand and fell to the sidewalk stories below. He watched as it hit the ground and shattered.

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I’m a morbid fuck and I hate happiness but I really can’t see Richie’s storyline turning out fine, he really is the most tragic character in my opinion. Ending is purposefully vague don’t kill me.