#probably not the best time to post it too but whatever
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Vaincre
Part VII
~
So so grateful for all of you who love this story even when I take forever to post!! Happy holidays to all <3 <3
~
No, there's nothin' you can
send me, my own true
love
There's nothin' I'm wishin'
To be ownin'
Just to carry yourself
Back to me unspoiled
From across that
Lonesome ocean
~
Remus ran down the cottage’s porch steps and threw his arms around Lily. It was easy to lose service out at the lake, and he’d last talked to her at the coffee shop he’d always stopped at halfway through the drive from Gryffindor. He had a beloved photograph of Sirius and Julian sitting at an outside table there, the first time Sirius had come to the lake. He’d tried his best to specifically explain the forks and bends in the roads to Lily, but it was still a relief to see them getting out of their car.
“You made it,” Remus said into her shoulder.
“Sure did. Wow. This is the cutest.” Lily gave Remus one more squeeze before pulling back. She pushed her sunglasses into her hair and smiled up at the cabin. “J, look.”
“Hold on, you know this buckle hates me.”
Remus squinted against the sun to see James with his entire upper body in the backseat of the car. When he emerged, he was red-faced and holding Harry—who was already squirming towards Sirius. The slight delay of James closing the car door was even too much for him. Harry burst into tears, then abruptly stopped as Sirius jogged down the porch steps and scooped him away from James. Remus couldn’t make out what Sirius said to him, but he could read the broad smile on his face just fine.
“Oh, it is cute, for sure,” James said. He had his hands on his hips, and maybe a few cheerios in his hair, as he looked over the cottage, then Sirius. “Yeah, hi, good to see you, too, friend.”
“Sorry, sorry,” Sirius said appeasingly, but held a hand out for James to clap and bring their shoulders together. “How was the drive?”
“Very pretty.” James shaded his eyes to look down the stone pathway that offered a glimmering sliver of the lake. He whistled. “That looks inviting.”
Lily brought Remus’ attention back to her with a squeeze to his hands. “How are you, Lupin? Feeling almost married?”
“More almost each day.” Remus wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Come in, we’ve got lunch.”
Maybe Remus shouldn’t have been surprised when Julian and Harry took to each other immediately. Harry couldn’t do much, but he could giggle at whatever Julian was doing and take the small pieces of food Julian held out to him. He could sit in the waves while Julian safe-guarded him against any bigger swells caused by a passing boat. If his mom squeezed his hand when she caught Remus watching them one day with his sunglasses firmly hiding his damp eyes, well, that was fine.
James and Sirius took to each other, too, even after just a short time apart. There was lots of football and jumping off the raft to catch flying passes. Remus didn’t mind. With his parents reading in the shade of the lake-facing porch up above and Julian entertaining Harry a few paces away, he basically had Lily to himself, which almost never happened.
“This is heaven,” she said. “Like, it’s more heaven than a tropical resort or something. I mean, the house is right there, it’s way cooler and less humid than some island, and I have you to make me a drink.”
Remus smiled. “I’m glad you like it here.”
“Would I ever have seen this place if you hadn’t started playing?”
“You? Yeah, if you wanted. Everyone else? Probably not if I never got with Sirius.”
She nodded slowly, turning the ice cubes that clinked against her cup. Her hair was pulled back in a low bun, and she had a large, floppy hat shading her face. Remus reached forward and lifted the brim with two fingers.
“What’s up?” he asked.
“Yeah, yeah,” she said. “I was just thinking about…I don’t know. James has been down about losing the season like this. And maybe—” Lily flipped the brim up and turned to him. Her green eyes were the clear color of the lake. “Okay, I forgot after winning the Cup last year about how every summer’s beginning was like…It’s like they forget they’re good at their jobs. And that it’s going to be okay. And this year…It’s just back. James has been so hard on himself.” She sighed. “And probably losing Logan made it even harder, but he’s been down.” She looked back out at the water. Slowly, a smile crossed her face. “I don’t know. I’m rambling. But look at those lunatics out there. It’s just nice to see him smile.”
Remus nodded. Sirius and James were treading water near the raft. Their voices carried across the water, though he couldn’t make out their words. He didn’t need to. James made Sirius laughed so hard that his head disappeared under the water for a second before he surfaced again, flicking his dark hair out of his eyes.
“Ugh, the cutest,” Lily said.
Remus watched Sirius splutter and toss the football at James’ head. “Hm, yeah.”
“Okay, yeah, but I meant those two.” Lily held up her phone towards Julian and Harry. “Boys! Over here!”
“How do you want us?” James shouted over the water. He already had his arm around Sirius’ shoulders, grinning and ready for a photo.
“Not you,” Lily said, waving Sirius and James off.
“No, no,” Remus laughed and reached for his own phone. “Stay like that.”
Julian pointed at Lily so Harry would look, then tickled him into another grin. James wrapped both of his arms around Sirius and pulled like he was trying to lift him up, startling Sirius into a laughing one in his own.
The sight tightened Remus’ throat. He almost forgot to take the picture as he stared over the edge of his sunglasses instead.
“Did you do it?” Sirius called, then pushed James down again into the water.
Remus nodded, flashing a thumbs up.
“Anyway,” Lily sighed. “When does Logan play? James with his little hockey-pout face wants to watch.”
“Rangers are up against the Lightning tonight,” Remus said. “And yeah. I don’t think Sirius has fully realized Tremz isn’t a Lion anymore. I mean, really. Like, even less realization than Finn and Leo.”
“Yeah, those two cubs seem to be doing better.”
“Mhm,” Remus said. “I hope so.”
“Mais, non, non—” A shout of laughter came from the water, and a fast flow of French that got garbled as Sirius did a cannonball off the raft and caught the football. Remus didn’t know what the rules of their game were, but James, floating nearby, wiped the water from his eyes and looked devastated.
Remus leaned forward, digging his cup into the sand. Sirius surfaced again with the football held high. He shook his soaking hair out of his face, threw his head back, and whooped. It traveled to them over the waves, through the sound of sifting sand and Harry’s babbling. Sirius dunked his head again, and his dark hair plastered back from his face. The smile was still in place. Remus knew all about the down of a poorly ended season. In college, getting knocked out early and having to go to classes with that weight on his chest had felt like hell for the first two weeks. And Sirius Black didn’t do just down. He did devastated and punishing. He did end of the world and hard work and nextyearnextyearnextyear.
But there he was. In Remus’ lake, laughing like—
“Re?”
“Yeah,” Remus whispered. He tore his eyes away, looking at her. “Sorry, sorry, yeah?”
Lily had her hat flipped back again. He was watching him carefully with a small smile on her face.
“Sorry I didn’t hear what you said,” Remus said. “I…”
“That’s all right.” Lily leaned forward, too, checking on Harry once when he let out a loud shriek, before turning back to him. “What’s up?”
“He doesn’t always…” Remus passed his fingers over his mouth, over a smile. “It’s kind of like what you said about James. About summer. But it’s also the opposite. Sirius…He doesn’t always laugh like that.”
If there was anything Remus knew, it was Sirius Black’s face. He knew it guarded, and he knew it open.
“Like a little kid’s laugh,” Remus said softly.
“Pretty deep for a little kid.”
Remus grinned at her. “No, like—”
Lily put a soft hand on his arm. “I’m joking, Re. You’re right.” She squeezed his fingers and let go. “It is. It is nice. I mean…You were there. Before.” She shut one eye against the sun. “Did you love him then?”
“Love? No. Want? Maybe. Mostly I just…I don’t know why because he was fucking mean to me…” He smiled. “But I—no, really. You were there. He was so stubborn. Honest to God, I don’t think he trusted me until his ankle.”
“He’s Sirius Black,” Lily said. “I don’t think he was raised to be trusting.”
“That’s why I like hearing that laugh,” Remus said. “Fuck, Lils, I love that laugh.”
The boys were swimming in now. Julian had Harry in his lap and was waving at them.
“Good thing you’re getting that laugh for life, then.” Lily held up her drink. “To good laughs for a good life.”
Remus picked up his own drink. “Oh yeah, you’ve got one of your own.” He clinked his glass to Lily’s, sand sprinkling between them. “To good laughs for a good life.”
Lily flipped her hat back down. “Okay, okay, before we cry, let’s watch their abs appear from the water.”
“Oh, for sure.”
~
Maybe it was a slight miscalculation on Finn and Leo’s part to walk Logan to Madison Square Garden for his third game against the Lightning, but if there was anything that was worth getting a few good-natured heckles for losing their series, it was watching the Rangers fans waiting at the players’ entrance absolutely fawn over Logan.
Really, for Finn, it was watching fans fawn over Logan while Logan held on tightly to Leo’s hand. It was holding Logan’s bag for him while he…signed a man’s body.
“You really want me to sign…” Logan was staring apprehensively at a shoulder a man was offering him. “For a tattoo?”
“Don’t mess up,” Leo said, then grinned at Logan’s pleading eyes. “Just saying.”
“yeah, yeah,” the man said, grinning. “Just your signature and number. Please. Thank you.”
“Aha,” Finn said, holding up a finger. “Which number?”
“Oh, ten,” the man said hurriedly. “Please. I’m a firm believer that you’ll be back to ten some day.”
Logan looked at Finn.
“Would you look at that,” Finn said.
Smiling, Logan took a breath and uncapped the Sharpie. “D’accord.”
He signed his name and number more slowly than he usually would have, tongue peaking out in concentration.
“Tongue, tongue,” Finn whispered, nudging his elbow into Leo’s side.
“Shh…” Leo was trying hard not to smile.
Logan had had to let go of Leo’s hand to hold the man steady, and Leo wandered closer to Finn, slinging an arm around his shoulders. Others were taking videos, and Finn felt some of the cameras train on them once Logan had finished signing. He flicked his sunglasses down over his eyes, half because he knew he needed to take it easy on direct sunlight for a while yet, and half so he could just stare at Logan all he wanted while he slipped his arm around Leo’s waist.
“Okay?” Leo whispered back, settling his hand over Finn’s.
“Yeah,” Finn said. “Just taking it easy.”
“There you go.” Logan sucked air through his teeth, surveying his work, then laughed and capped the pen.
“Thank you,” the man said, bending to look. “Thanks so much.”
Finn would have thought the guy’s enthusiasm was a little over the top, but he could pinpoint at least a couple times in his life when he would have gladly let Logan Tremblay write all over him.
“Thanks, guys,” Logan said with a wave. He looked back at Leo and Finn. “Ready?”
Finn hitched Logan’s bag more over his shoulder. “Lead on, Ten.”
Finn saw the way Logan’s shoulders relaxed once they reached the elevator, away from prying eyes. He held out his hand to Finn. “You really didn’t have to carry my bag for me. Feels like you’re dropping me off at class.”
“Should have packed you a lunch,” Leo said.
Logan took his bag, shouldered it, and stepped into Leo’s space. “What would be in my lunch?”
“Oh, the usual,” Leo said. “Turkey sandwich, apple slices, a cookie…” Leo slid his hands around Logan’s waist. “A note telling you that I can’t wait for you to get home so…” The rest was lost to Finn as Leo bent and whispered into Logan’s ear.
It was all right that he didn’t hear. He got to watch Logan sway into him like Leo had hooked his very heart and pulled.
“See you for your nap,” Leo said sweetly. He tucked his hands behind his back and gave Logan a quick kiss.
Logan narrowed his eyes at Leo as he put a hand on Finn’s chest, twisting his t-shirt in his fist. Okay, fine, Finn was hooked, too. “Yeah, if I nap.”
Finn wrapped Logan up in a short hug, knotting his fingers in his hair. “Hey Tremblay…Sign my ass.”
Logan pulled back, shoving Finn away. But he was smiling, brighter than Finn had ever thought any of them would be able to do in this place.
“Game three,” Finn said. “You got this.”
They watched the elevator doors close, Logan leaning over to see them until he was just one green eye. Until he couldn’t anymore. They waved off the remaining fans when they walked back to the street level. Finn made straight for the subway—he didn’t want to be in this traffic hell Midtown longer than he had to. Leo followed him closely, their knuckles brushing until Finn hooked their little fingers together, then took his hand.
“So, what’d you whisper?”
Leo’s laugh echoed off the tiles as they descended the stairs underground. “Maybe you’ll find out later.”
“I hope so.” Finn let Leo through to the platform first, then went through himself. “Alex always dared me to jump these, and I never could. Lo did it once. First time he came home to the city with me.”
Leo raised his eyebrows. “That stray freshman puppy you found did that?”
Finn grinned, putting his hands in the pockets of his shorts. “He was trying to impress me. He just didn’t know it yet. Spent the rest of the time waiting for the train looking over his shoulder all nervous.”
“Okay, that’s more like him.” As the train began to pull into the station, a rush of air that did absolutely nothing to break the heat ruffled Leo’s hair. Leo nudged a toe of his sneaker against Finn’s. “Hey, where you taking me?”
Finn reached out and touched the blond strands, then settled a hand against Leo’s cheek. “Surprise.”
Leo wrinkled his nose. “I’m sweaty, sorry.”
“Like that’s ever bothered me.”
As the doors opened and Finn shuffled them inside, he caught Leo eyeing the pole distastefully.
“Hang onto me instead,” Finn said, taking Leo’s hands and placing them on his waist.
“And what are you gonna hold onto?”
“My New Yorker feet.”
Leo rolled his eyes but squeezed his hips. “Twenty bucks say you fall.”
“Not with you holding onto me.”
Leo eyed him until the doors slid shut with a ding and the train lurched forward. Finn balanced like he’d been doing his whole life, easing them both into the train’s rocking and jolting with his hands on Leo’s hips. He tilted his forehead down to Leo’s and winked.
“All right, city-boy. Now really,” Leo said, their lips brushing. “Where are we going?”
“Somewhere,” Finn replied. “But don’t worry. We’ll be home in time for me to buy you take-out and watch baby play.”
Finn led them back onto street level when they reached uptown. The sun felt brighter up here, with Central Park relieving some of the crowded, hot feeling that the buildings gave out. Sweat shone on Leo’s temples as he put his sunglasses on.
“Hmm,” Leo said. “Okay. Interesting.”
“You game to walk across the park?” Finn asked. “Because we’re walking across the park.”
“I’m game for anything. But I have one condition.”
“Name it.”
“I want to make out under a tree on our way.”
Finn closed his eyes and turned into Leo. He kissed the salty skin of his neck. “That’s not a condition. That’s a reward.”
“You’re walking with your eyes closed.”
Finn smiled and opened them. He brought Leo’s hand up to kiss. “Sometimes feeling you and seeing you at the same time are just too much.”
He liked the way it made Leo stare at him. He slapped a hand against Finn’s chest, but kept it there. “Shut up.”
“Pick a spot.”
Leo looked forward. They weren’t in short supply. There were baseball diamonds just ahead of them and The Great Lawn beyond that, speckled with picnic blankets and kids running around.
“C’mon,” Leo said. “Let’s get your pretty little head out of the sun.”
Leo jogged ahead, but Finn didn’t mind. He stopped when he found a dappled spot of shade and waited for Finn there, spreading his arms out with a grin before sitting down in the grass.
“Here!” he called. “Get your butt over here, city-boy, and sit in the dirt and grass.”
‘Yikes,” Finn teased, but he let himself down beside Leo with a huff, being careful of his shoulder. “You think I don’t sit in grass?”
“You do love a good leather booth and bistro chair.”
Finn laughed. “Fair.”
“Speaking of.”
“Speaking of?”
Leo leaned in and brushed their noses together. “Take-out is nice. But I think tonight you should take me, sit me down practically in your lap in one of those leather booths, and order us ice cold martinis and that to-die-for steak at that place we love. Then you take me home to watch Logan play.”
Finn grinned and hooked a finger in Leo’s closest belt loop. “In my lap, you say?”
“Yes. The place where they have those garage doors that open and let all the heat in.”
“Okay, I will.”
“So I can start the night watching the sun set, and end it in a dim enough corner for kissing until a waiter has to clear their throat to get our attention.”
“I thought the kisses were reserved for this very tree right here.”
Leo smiled as he tilted his head into Finn’s palm when he cupped his cheek. “Your ears get pink—” His words broke off into Finn’s first kiss. “—when you drink gin.”
“You and Lo say that about everything.” Finn kissed the corner of his mouth, his jaw, before finding his mouth again.
“We think about it a lot.”
Finn felt his cheeks warm when Leo reached up and tweaked his ear. Maybe he did prefer booths and bistros and couches and warm soft chairs that bookstores kept in their corners, but when Leo laid him down in the grass of the very place he used to wonder about finding someone, about loving someone, he wouldn’t have traded it for the world. Leo’s mouth was soft. He kept Finn still and heavy with kisses that made Finn feel like the warm earth was becoming as cloudy as his head. Everything was so soft, so smudged and perfect, that he almost missed it when Leo said—
“I missed you.”
“I missed you, too, Le.” His time with Logan was invaluable, but there was nothing like the three of them. Nothing at all. “But you came back to me happier, so—”
“No, I mean…” Finn felt him press his mouth down on his shoulder before Leo pulled back to look at him. He was framed by the sky. “I missed you while I was away, yes. But I missed you in the locker room after what Jack did. And when you were home but you were hurting and not yourself. And I missed you when—when…”
“When Logan got traded,” Finn said softly.
“Yeah,” Leo said shakily. He stroked Finn’s hair back from his face. He bent down and kissed the shell of Finn’s ear then came back smiling. “Yeah.”
Finn wished he could see the two of them. The way Leo put one thigh over his, and the grass stain on his t-shirt.
“Needed this,” Leo sighed.
Finn kissed the corner of Leo’s mouth. “I’d like a list of all the things you need, ranked in the order you’d like them.”
Leo’s laugh was soft, and Finn kissed his left dimple when it appeared. “Finn…”
“Okay, fine, we’ll start here,” Finn whispered. “Help me and this slightly bum shoulder up, and come with me.”
~
The cottage always seemed to take the sunset into its very paint and walls. It soaked through the windows and made it almost impossible to sit at the dining room table without the gauzy white curtains drawn. Those curtains turned the lake into a glistening blur. It set the rosé glasses on fire. Remus wanted to sit between Lily and Sirius and look at Harry happily babbling from his mother’s lap for the rest of his life.
“So, Logan’s sisters called me—well, Noelle called me,” Remus said. “And they’re sticking around in New York until the Rangers—you know.”
“Win or lose,” Julian supplied, and then knocked on wood at the same time as Remus. Sirius was holding the wooden salad bowl to pass to Hope and drummed his fingers on it once.
“Right,” Remus said. “So, that’ll happen. And then they’re going to be at the Shore Hotel, so that’s really close. And Logan is surprising Leo and Finn with a cabin, they think they’re staying at a hotel.” Remus put a hand on the sun-warmed back of Sirius’ neck.
“Ouais,” Sirius said. “I told him to get one because if we’re doing what we said—you get ready here at the cottage, I thought I would get ready with Reg, James, Tremz and Pascal there.” Sirius took Remus’ hand and kissed it, smiling. “Then I meet you at the end of the dock.”
“I have so many plans,” James said. “I mean, Dumo vetoed like eighty percent of them, but I still have so many plans.”
Sirius grinned. “Maybe I have plans, too.”
“What?” James shook his head. “No, I do. You can’t have plans, you’re the—one of the grooms!”
“I also have plans,” Lily cut in, looping her arm through Remus’. At Remus’ face she patted his cheek. “Super chill plans. Leo and I brought Talker down a few notches.”
“A few?”
“A lot of notches.”
“Hold up,” James said. “Whose side is Finn on?”
“He requested to, and I quote, ‘wander between the two,’” Lily said.
“Classic,” Remus said.
“Oh, those O’Hara boys are just the sweetest,” Hope said. Harry slapped the table as if in agreement.
“Why do all parents love Finn so much?” James asked.
“He’s just charming, that’s all,” Lily said. “But yeah, I don’t know how he’s going to pull it off, but he wants to wander.”
“If we forget any last minute things, he can run to the shops,” Hope said.
“I actually think he’d love that,” Sirius laughed.
Remus grabbed for another bread roll and Sirius passed him the butter without a word.
“Plans or no plans,” Remus said. “My original point was we have dates for everyone’s arrival, no matter how far the Rangers make it. Literally all we have to do is remember to pick stuff up.”
Hope hummed. “You’d be surprised at how difficult that can be. The flowers are late, the cake is late—it turns into a whole thing.”
“For sure,” Remus said, but smiled at her then pulled a face at Harry who giggled. “But do I really need flowers and cake or do I just need my husband?”
“For sure,” Lily parroted. “But your guests definitely need flowers and cake.”
Julian raised a hand. “I totally need cake.”
James raised both hands. “I totally need flowers. For reasons that are beyond me.”
Remus laughed and felt Sirius stretch his arm out over the back of his chair. He knew it meant Sirius only needed one thing for this wedding, too, and it was him.
“What kind of plans?” Remus knelt on their bed to push open the windows. The night had cooled, and he wanted to clear out some of the stuffiness the day’s heat had trapped. He got hot enough with Sirius pressed up against his back all night.
Sirius looked up from where he’d been checking the time on his phone. “Puck drop in five. Plans for what?”
“About your bachelor party, you said you had plans.”
Sirius laughed. “Reg and I were talking about it. I just wanted to freak James out a little. We’re gonna have dinner at that place you showed me. Play pool, darts.”
Remus pushed himself off the bed. “Dinner, huh?”
“Oh, come on.” Sirius clicked his tongue. “You know me. Dumo will order good wine, Leo will order the best—”
“Hey, hey, hey.” Remus pointed a finger at him. “Leo’s on my team.”
“Your team?”
“My team.”
Remus loved that outraged, amused smile Sirius was giving him now. He gave it to refs, he gave it to Logan. Remus wouldn’t choose it over the little-kid laugh, but it was something—especially as Sirius walked across their room’s creaking floorboards and set two palms down on either side of Remus’ hips, pressing into the old mattress springs and making them whine.
“Creek creek,” Remus whispered. He tilted his mouth up to brush Sirius’.
“So, we have teams now,” Sirius whispered back. He kissed Remus so lightly. A feather, there-and-gone.
“And here you were thinking you’d finally gotten me on yours,” Remus put his arms around Sirius’ neck, pushing until Sirius was straightening and Remus could put his socked toes on Sirius’ toes and press their bodies together, standing there in a bedroom he’d been sleeping in since he was little.
Sirius smiled. “Almost.” Both his palms pushed under Remus’ t-shirt. “So close. Any day now.”
“Hey, Cap!” James’ voice came from below. “Lo’s taking first face-off!”
Remus sighed. “Self-torture.” Then, he kissed Sirius’ protests until they tasted like a smile.
~
Leo recognized the steps immediately. They were broad and stone and timeless, leading up to stone pillars. School kids were led in lines—the little ones jubilant, the older ones shuffling. Tourists raised their cameras high, and groups of people on their lunch break made clusters at various heights.
“You’re sweet,” Leo said. “You took me to the MET?”
Finn smiled. “I like watching you look at things. And besides, we better do it while Lo’s busy or else he’ll sulk if we bring him along and sulk if we leave him behind.”
“A-plus timing,” Leo laughed as they began to climb. “Hey, speaking of Lo. I think he doesn’t want to ask if we’ll come to Florida…but.”
“Oh, he definitely wants us to come to Florida.” Finn reached for his wallet. “I can feel it when he stares—” Leo snorted, Finn tilted his head back, laughing as they crossed into the grand entrance hall. “You know the stare.”
Leo pushed his nose into Finn’s cheek, eyes wide open. “This one?”
“Bit of an exaggeration and also wildly true.”
Leo grinned. “You, Logan, ocean. Sounds good to me.” He looked down at the red member card Finn had gotten out. “You keep a membership while you live in a different city?”
“I am nothing if not loyal, Butter.” He held his card out to the guard waiting in front of a long, white room flooded with light.
“One guest?” She scanned his card.
“Yes, indeed.” Finn smiled at her.
“Your name is Butter?” she asked.
Leo stared at her, trying to figure out if she was being serious. She just looked back with slightly uninterested blue eyes.
“I…” Leo nodded. “Yes. My name is Butter. Thanks.”
He pulled Finn into the waiting galleries before she could see him laughing.
~
Logan found a spot on the floor while they waited for coach to get the pre-game video loaded. He stretched his legs out, kneading one of his thighs. Percy was singing, Will was trying to cover his mouth, and Saint was watching them both with narrowed eyes. Logan didn’t know if he knew he was crushing the red bull can in his hands, but Luke gently eased it out of his fingers and drained the remaining liquid.
“Hey.” Alex settled himself down beside him.
“Hey,” Logan said. He sent him a quick smile, then did a double take. “Hey…”
Alex might not be Finn, but Logan liked to think he knew his O’Haras. He knew that lilac color. He knew that slightly vacant brown-eyed stare that only came out when Finn was trying oh-so very hard to be all right. Logan had put that look on his face more than once. He didn’t like seeing it.
“What’s wrong?” Logan asked quietly as someone turned the lights out in the room. The screen flickered to life, showing Florida’s starting line frozen in the middle of a play.
“Hm?” Alex didn’t look at him.
“Maybe I’m summoned when you get that look on your face.”
Alex, recognizing his own words, let out a tired laugh. He glanced Logan’s way.
Logan pushed their shoulders together. “By my inner Finn.”
“I’m all right,” Alex said.
Logan waited, keeping his eyes ahead as Coach began to talk through defense. It felt nice to sit surrounded by teammates. Nice to be in the dark. He was tired and exhilarated all at once, heart fast but limbs sore.
“It’s kind of—I don’t know. I was wrong,” Alex said softly. “You know when you just play something out in your head, but it turns out that what you were thinking only makes sense in your head?”
“If Finn was here—” And maybe Logan couldn’t stand that he wasn’t, that Leo wasn’t, and he wasn’t sure if that feeling was ever going to give him any peace, “he would say I’m the dictionary picture of that.”
Alex smiled slightly. “That boy has a lot of sayings.”
“That boy?”
“What? My baby brother? Fish-Finn.”
Logan smiled. “I remember hearing you call him Fish the first time.”
“When?”
“Well—not the best time. First concussion.”
Alex’s face lit up, but only in recognition. “Oh, that’s right. You were asleep in the chair.”
“Yeah. That was the first time I dreamed about kissing him. Ever.”
Alex’s eyebrows went up. “And you’re telling me I woke you up from that?”
“Yeah, fuck you.”
It earned Logan a smile at least. Alex still looked troubled as he returned his eyes to the screen. They listened. Logan took note of positions and numbers and the warning that there was some bad blood towards him and number 56 wanted to fight. When he shrugged, Luke and Percy laughed at him.
The lights came up to soon, and he was left looking at Alex as they both squinted a little in the sudden brightness.
Alex patted a hand on his chest. “I’ll be okay, Tremz. Really. Let’s do this first.”
The words seemed tired, but not like a lie.
~
Ice Floes. Claude Monet.
Finn’s shoulder pressed warmly against Leo’s as they stared at the hazy white landscape. The gallery was calm around them. A tour group murmured in another room. Two older women sat on the bench with their canes between their knees.
“For Lo’s birthday once,” Finn said softly. “I took him to a pond to skate because he said he missed it. Looked like this.”
“That first birthday you knew him, right?”
“Uh-huh.” Finn’s pinky finger found Leo’s and he hooked them together. “And—well, you know the rest of that story.”
“That I do.” Leo shivered just remembering it. His eyes found the small, paint scratched signature in the painting’s corner. A thought made him laugh.
“What?” Finn asked.
“Artists sign their work.” Leo pointed to it. “That man wanted Logan to think he was a piece of art.”
Finn laughed—maybe too loudly for a museum. “That man could only be art because he wants Logan’s name tattooed on his body.”
“Oh? Do you want Logan’s name tattooed on your body?”
“No,” Finn said, but he tilted his head. “I would, however, like Logan to get some more tattoos.”
“Mm, yeah.” Leo leaned his temple against Finn’s. “Where? Arm?”
“Forearm.”
“Forearm, yeah. Collarbone.”
“Oh, yeah, good one. Back?”
“Mm. No, I like it as it is.”
“True,” Finn said. “You’d look good with a tattoo.”
Leo wrinkled his nose. “Eh.”
“You would. I’m not a tattoo person. I don’t think.”
“There’s something pretty about just you and all your freckles.” Leo squeezed their linked fingers. “Your head okay? Shoulder?”
“Knees and toes, knees and toes…”
Leo laughed. “Okay, okay. Where to next?”
They walked back downstairs to the bright sky-lit rooms of ancient Greece and Rome. They passed the large column, the intricate vases of fighting warriors and seated Gods. Leo wondered if he could find any replicas of the pretty Roman glass. He lost a wandering Finn while he was taking photographs to show his mom, but found him again in front of Heracles. He had his head tilted at the statue’s thick chest, only covered by the paws of the thick lion skin draped across the statue’s back.
“Halloween costume?” Leo asked, and Finn rolled his eyes and pulled him away.
They walked to the room transported from Pompeii, then deeper into the museum to suits of armor and lances. Leo found himself thinking of a school field trip. He’d been a junior in high school, whispers and stirrings about the NHL already surrounding him so much so that some of his teammates in his history class thought it was stupid for him to be excited about something as small as a field trip to a local museum. He had been though.
At least until Jack wouldn’t so much as look at him on the bus, never mind sit beside him.
Now, he felt Finn’s palm push under the hem of his shirt, brushing a thumb over the small of his back. They were in a darker part of the gallery, dim except for the low lights aimed at the weapons. Finn had pulled out his glasses to read the museum sign, but pushed them into his hair as he finished.
“Cool,” Finn said. “The hilts come off, so you can replace your blade. Or I guess change the hilt with your outfit? Do you think—”
Leo put a hand on his jaw, turning his head, and kissed him.
Finn hummed when Leo pulled away. “Fantastic. Kisses and weapons.”
“Thanks for sitting with me on buses,” Leo whispered. “And taking me to museums.”
Finn put those Jack-tinged pieces together quickly, and his eyes softened.
“Thanks for telling me you wanted me the first time I asked,” Finn said.
Leo’s eyebrows went up, and Finn smiled, wrapping his arm more fully around Leo’s waist.
“Like you didn’t know Logan wanted you,” Leo said.
“I did. I just didn’t know if he’d ever let himself take me.”
“Those words sure sound sweet coming out of your mouth.”
“Oh yeah?” Finn smiled. “Besides, I am pretty Lo-fluent.”
Low on his stomach, Leo covered Finn’s hand with his own. “Funny, he’s said the same thing about you.”
“Oh, I bet he has.” Finn nosed against Leo’s cheek, and stole a slow, leisurely kiss—far too much for a museum, even the quiet corner of one. “But still. You looked me in the eye. One-for-one.”
“And then I ran away from you?” Leo reminded him, kissing his jaw.
“But you let me come find you.”
“He wanted that, too. Believe me.”
Finn laughed. “You don’t have to defend him. You know I’d have kept him in my pocket if I could. Always.” Finn gave his hand a little tug on Leo’s waist and began to nudge him towards a free corner. “I’m taking about you. I’d keep you there, too.”
“Your pocket? Honey, I like it in your arms just fine.”
“Oh,” Finn said around a smile, then “hm” just before he kissed him again.
Leo didn’t know if he should be leaning against a wall here, didn’t know where a guard was to yell at him, and didn’t really care. At one point, he put his hands into Finn’s hair and had to catch the glasses he’d forgotten about. The small gasp he gave as his fingers fumbled for them let Finn right in, and suddenly any sort of footsteps or place was simply gone.
“Ready to go,” Finn guessed when Leo made a wanting sound, then smiled and kissed him again, quick. “Yeah, we are.”
~
Kasey was waiting for Alex on their floor outside their building’s elevator. Alex was pushing his hair back, still damp from his shower at the rink, and rubbing sleep out of his eyes when he saw him. He’d already begun tugging his tie from his neck. His muscles ached, and his shoulder had felt just a little off since that open-ice hit in the middle of the third, but when those doors opened and he saw Kasey leaning against the wall in the hallway, it all dimmed. The caught gaze between them felt as unfinished as their words.
“Good game,” Kasey said.
“Thanks,” Alex tugged his tie all the way off and let the elevator close behind him. “How did you know I was home?”
“I tracked your location.” Kasey slid his hands into his pockets. “Just like to know where you are. And what you’re doing.” His mouth pulled to the side. “And if you’re okay.”
Alex rolled his shoulder. He dropped his go-bag, walked forward, and kissed him. It maybe came out a little rough. Kasey’s hands found his hips. They slid up the arch of his lower back. Alex held onto his shoulders, turning into the softness of Kasey’s mouth until they had to breathe. He broke the kiss, catching his breath, then tried to lean back in. He was stopped by Kasey’s hand on his jaw. His thumb came to rest just over Alex’s bottom lip. Alex kept his eyes closed, waiting. Kasey’s thumb tapped twice. The silence was long, but it was like basking in sun.
“What, you couldn’t…” Kasey began softly. “You couldn’t talk to me about it?”
Alex was sure he could feel it each time Kasey’s brown eyes shifted over his face.
Kasey grasped Alex’s shoulders. “All the times we… Al, you took me ring shopping. I feel horrible, I feel so, so horrible—”
Alex couldn’t help it. He turned away. He rubbed a hand over his chest and beating heart.
“I need you to tell me things,” Kasey said. “I need you to.”
“I…” Alex’s voice hardly came out. He looked at the warped reflection of the two of them in the elevator doors. More silhouettes than anything. “I want you to be happy.”
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing. I don’t know.”
“Alex, what—” Kasey stepped forward, voice raising. “And you think you don’t make me happy?”
“It wasn’t about me!” Alex turned back towards him. He couldn’t keep the break out of his voice. “It was—”
“I want it to be! I can’t—I can’t come home and—it turns out that you think—” Kasey was shouting now. Alex had seen it happen once. Maybe twice. “It turns out you think you’re sometimes to me? Sometimes?”
“You were getting married!”
“You said you were okay with it! You’re still ours.”
“What the fuck was I supposed to say?” Alex could feel the burn in his throat. “What the fuck was going to happen if I said no?”
“So you decided to lie?”
“I decided to keep you for as—” Alex broke off. Aware they were in a hallway, he dropped his voice. “For as long as I could.”
Kasey flinched. He took a step backwards. He filled up the hallway with his broad shoulders and the way the light caught his hair. He filled up Alex’s head with everything from the way he tossed anything he was holding between his hands like a puck, to the sheepish way he kissed in the morning.
“What?” Kasey’s whisper was hoarse and desperate. “What?”
Alex just shook his head. He wanted to take the words back. Right then, if he could have, he would have reeled back every word he’d ever said in his life. “I…I don’t know. I’m so stupid, Kase, I don’t…I’m…”
Kasey made a frustrated noise, and then Alex was being crowded against the wall. Kasey put his hands on either side of his head so they were eye-level.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Kasey whispered. He nudged his nose against Alex’s cheek. “You—Hazard…”
Alex nodded. He’d always liked his nickname, but right then it just felt like the truth.
“No,” Kasey whispered. It had a scolding tinge to it. “You’re not. Not like that.” Kasey kissed his cheek. He let his mouth stay there, warm and soft. “You’re not.”
Alex realized he was was kissing tears.
“I’m a mess,” Alex said.
Kasey pressed a palm to Alex’s other cheek, thumbing away the trails. “You’re not a mess. You’re crying.”
That made Alex laugh, startled and, well, a little snotty. “What’s the difference?”
“The difference is you’re not a mess,” Kasey said. He kissed the corner of Alex’s mouth. “And you look fucking gorgeous.”
“You’re mad at me,” Alex said.
“A little, yeah.” Kasey leaned back to look at him. “And I love you so much I might lose it.”
Alex sniffed again. “God. God, I love you, too. You’re angry.”
“I can be both. And one part will fade. Guess which? Not the love part. That’s been here to stay since the first day I met you and you wouldn’t shut the hell up up and let me go to sleep.”
“I…” Alex took a few moments to twist an end of Kasey’s hair around his finger. “I don’t—I have this little brother, you may know him?”
Kasey’s eyebrows went up, amused. “Uh-huh. Think so.”
“He had this boy at college that he…” Alex sniffed, blinking away the wetness from his vision. “I don’t remember his name. Liam Trombone, or something.”
Kasey smiled, just a little. “You have the weirdest sense of humor.”
“Lionel Trustfund.”
“Finish the story that I already know.”
“Okay.” Alex dropped his eyes, studying the curve of Kasey’s upper lip. “The little brother burned up a little, waiting for him. And there was nothing I could do to help him.”
“Okay,” Kasey’s expression had softened, listening.
“I didn’t know how to help him, but I knew how much he was hurting.” Alex put his hands on Kasey’s chest. “I think that little brother’s stronger than I am. I think he’s smarter than I am. I think he could survive it. Even if it didn’t work out.”
Kasey’s hands covered his.
“I don’t…think I could,” Alex whispered. “So I tried to stop it before it was too…”
“I get it,” Kasey said. “Don’t worry, I understand now.”
“Maybe I’m jealous,” Alex said. “Or I’m insecure, or something fucking stupid like that—”
“Maybe,” Kasey cut him off, “you’re as in love with us as we are with you. Maybe we’re fucking stupid or something like that. Maybe I was leaving hockey and I knew just one part of this new life that I was about to have, and that part is Natalie.” Kasey ducked until Alex looked at him. “Maybe I couldn’t believe I actually got you back and I didn’t…” Kasey pressed his lips together against tears. “You’re not just sometimes, Al. Of everything in my life, you’re the only thing that’s always been always. I don’t have this incredible family like you do, I don’t have…I’ve always had my teammates, and then I had Natalie, but first I had—first there was suddenly this really kind, fun…loud person—”
Alex let out a breath of a laugh and Kasey smiled, brows drawn together against the tears.
“Really beautiful person suddenly filling up my life,” Kasey finished, carding Alex’s hair back from his face. “First there was you.”
Alex nodded hard. “You’re that for me. You’re that for me, too.”
Suddenly, Natalie’s voice filtered down the hallway. “This hallway has very bad lighting for confessions of love.”
Alex closed his eyes and laughed when Kasey grinned. They turned to see her leaning out of their doorway. She wore Rangers blue.
“Hi, gorgeous,” Alex said, rubbing at his eyes. “Where is my bag?”
“I’ve got it,” Kasey said.
Kasey picked his things up and followed Alex to their door.
Natalie stood aside from the doorway, letting them in, and looked up at Alex. “I would have gone with Leroy Trampoline.”
“Laurence Trespass,” Kasey added from behind him.
For some reason, it was that that truly made Alex cry. Natalie was ready for it. She didn’t let Alex put a hand over his eyes. She caught it and kissed it. She smoothed a hand over Alex’s shoulder, as she kissed his cheek.
“And when were you going to tell us this hurts, too?”
“My shoulder hurts a little,” Alex said somewhat dutifully, and she smiled, shaking her head.
“O’Hara,” Kasey began to protest.
“Barely,” Alex said. He wrapped Natalie up around her waist and lifted her off her feet a little. “Okay, okay, I promise. I don’t know why I hide it, I really don’t. Natalia?”
“Alexander.”
“You look so beautiful when you look at wedding things,” Alex said softly. “Are you sure you…Are you sure you don’t…” Alex shook his head. He looked at Kasey pointedly, then shook his head down at himself. “I mean, I…Are you sure?”
“What can I say,” Natalie said, leaning up to kiss the corner of his mouth. “I want two diamonds. And two pairs of brown eyes. And two hearts. And you. You.” She kissed him more fully, hands in his hair, and said her next words against his mouth. “Let them call me greedy, see if I care.”
~
“No,” Leo pushed at Finn’s cheek, laughing. “Lick Logan all you want, don’t lick me.”
They were just a little tipsy after a full dinner and watching Logan play, tucked into a booth at Finn’s favorite place with whiskey and Leo’s mouth on on his neck. Finn was possibly feeling a little riled up from Logan’s intense expression on the TV, and Leo’s bright smile right beside him. He’d let himself be pulled home, pulled through their door, pulled into Leo’s arms, pulled against his body. Leo was salt and sweet. Finn had gotten him off once already—right here, Leo had said, pushing Finn to his knees in the entrance hall. Ever since Lo said about you two…He’d glanced over his shoulder at the mirror and laughed. Finn liked the way that small table rattled against the mirror. He and Logan bit back smiles whenever they locked eyes in that mirror now, coming in from a walk or dinner. He’d never walk through there the same way now. Not with Logan, not with Leo, not alone.
“Okay, okay, okay, come back.” Finn kissed Leo’s cheek, turned against the pillows. He was stretched out against the bed now, bare except for his boxers. “Come back.”
Leo pretended to keep his face turned away, smiling, but his hands were sliding down to Finn’s hips, pushing into his boxers and turning back to kiss him.
“Do I get to—” Finn couldn’t help the low sound in the back of his throat as Leo closed a hand around his cock. “—hear—to hear more of the list of the things you want?”
Leo’s palm was warm, his pulls slow and teasing. “You’re hearing it right now.”
“Oh,” Finn’s voice felt tight and coiled in his throat. “Uh-huh.”
Leo hooked an ankle over the back of Finn’s knee. His free hand scratched through Finn’s hair, angling his chin for another kiss. Finn pressed his hands into the pillows by Leo’s head, fingers fisting the material as Leo’s hand sped up. But then, Leo was using that ankle as leverage, and suddenly Finn found himself on his back.
“Don’t…” Leo whispered the word, even mouthed it. He let Finn slide his palms down his ribs. “Move.”
Then he was grinning and gone, leaving Finn staring up at the ceiling.
“I—wait, I, what?” Finn stuttered. “I—what?”
“Don’t move!” Leo shouted from the living room.
Finn heard rummaging, and Leo’s bare feet on the hardwood.
It was funny, being alone in this bedroom. Logan’s bedroom. He turned his head into the pillow and could smell his scent there. Logan’s bed had been a rare delicacy at one time. Being in it. Being warm in it, being cold in it. Being cramped in it. Waiting for him to come back but waking up alone in it.
He’d never been in Leo’s bed when they’d lived together before they were together. He’d sat on top of the covers. Or rumpled covers. Warm from Leo just waking up, Finn back from his run and showered, watching him go back and forth from the bathroom, getting ready. A little hard in his jeans at Leo’s smile and skin.
“Le?” Finn called. He looked down at himself, briefs tight, and ran his thumbs just above his waistband. He’d leaked a mess while sucking Leo off and he was tempted to kick away the darkened material. But he wanted Leo to do it. “Come back.”
“I’m coming!”
“Whatever you think you need, you don’t,” Finn called again.
“Oh-ho, yes, I do.” His voice was closer now. He came back to the doorway, still in his boxers. Finn’s heart gave a kick at the shape of him, trapped tight against his body. Nothing looked new. He wasn’t holding anything that Finn could see, but his hands were tucked behind his back. He was smiling, teasing almost, but his eyes dropped to Finn’s hips and it turned soft. He bit his bottom lip and tilted his head, then withdrew a hand and held something up—a Sharpie.
“You left me for a pen.”
Leo uncapped the pen with a flourish and pointed the nib at Finn’s body. “Art.”
“Oh my God,” Finn said.
“You are so turned on right now,” Leo said delightedly. He knelt on the bed, jostling them both, and swung a leg over Finn’s hips. They both let out a breath as Leo spent a few moments grinding down on him. Finn got a hand around the back of his neck and pushed his nose against Leo’s left dimple.
Leo smiled into it. “Kiss me.” He traced his tongue over Finn’s bottom lip, coaxing Finn into opening his mouth and kissing him properly. When Finn did, Leo groaned softly, pleased.
“Yeah…Like that,” Leo murmured, and Finn made his own pleased sound when Leo slumped against his chest to be kissed. Finn had just settled back against his pillows, tilting his head to scrape his teeth gently against Leo’s lower lip, his hands guiding Leo’s hips down in slow rolls against his own, when Leo gasped for air. Finn smiled and kissed him again, harder, sloppier, before Leo broke away.
“God, Finn.” Leo leaned back, hand rubbing at himself through his boxers, then Finn. “Okay, okay, where to write first?”
Finn laughed. “There are a whole lot of things we could be doing that don’t involve writing.”
Leo ignored him. He studied Finn’s torso, then spread a warm palm against his ribs and bent down. Finn tried not to jump when the cool point of the pen began tracing a slow line over his skin.
He tried to pick out the cursive letters, but couldn’t. Instead, he let his head rest back against the pillows. “That’s kind of nice.”
Leo capping the pen and admiring his work. He blew softly on the ink, though it had dried, and Finn shivered. When he looked, he saw that Leo had written his signature, and he laughed at the fact that he’d even included his number like he’d do for fans.
“Wow.” Finn reached forward to pull Leo down against him. “Do you have any idea how much I’d be worth on Ebay now?”
“Oh, shh,” Leo said, but let Finn steal the pen from him.
“Shh,” Finn parroted, and grasped Leo’s knees and flipped him onto his back. The pen was warm, so was the center of his chest when Finn kissed it. He sat back on his heels like Leo had. “What do you want, Sunshi—oh, I’m doing that.”
Finn chose the spot on Leo’s hip were Logan’s tattoo resided and drew a small sun. Circle, rays coming out. Over the bump of his ribs, he started the straight line of his signature. F. Then the loop of the O. Then, smaller, 17.
“What number would I be if I wasn’t 17?”
Leo snorted. “Ten.”
Finn smiled. “No way.”
“Hm…Maybe 22.”
Finn made an interested noise. He drew a small heart near Leo’s left nipple. “That’s a good one.”
“And me? And don’t just say another classic goalie number. Like, 30 or something.”
Finn capped the pen and swiped his thumb over the sun. “Maybe…Something with a seven in it. 72. Or a 4. I like 4 for you. 74. Or 3. Three of us, three on your jersey.”
Leo put his hands behind his head, smiling. “I ask for one number, of course you give me four.”
Finn shrugged. “What can I say? You’re versatile.” Finn put his hands over Leo’s wrists where they were resting above his blond, messy hair. “I like that about you.”
One moment Leo was grinning, and the next he was swinging his weight up to put Finn on his back again. “Oh?”
Finn ran his hands down the full length of Leo’s back and gripped the back of his thighs.
“I really, really want you,” Leo whispered. “Fuck, Finn, I loved today.”
“I know,” Finn whispered back. “Me too.” When he messed with the band of Leo’s briefs, Leo was helping him get them off before he could even ask, “yeah?”
Leo moaned into Finn’s kiss, and Finn’s cock jumped at the want and relief in it. Leo just pushed the elastic band below his balls and pressed against Finn’s body like he couldn’t wait any longer. Finn got a hand between them, giving him a tight hold to fuck into. He was already slick.
At the same moment, their front door slammed.
“Hello?” Logan shouted. Keys in a bowl. Bag dropping down to the floor. “I’m home.”
“Oh…” Leo panted. “Oh—”
“Good?” Finn settled a warm hand on his lower back. He didn’t care that he himself was aching. He wanted to make Leo come again the second Logan found them. “Come when you see him.”
Leo was too far gone for his laugh to be anything by half-breath. He was rocking into Finn’s fist more roughly now and Finn crossed an ankle over the back of Leo’s knee to give him more leverage.
“You wanna finish like this?” Finn swiped a soothing thumb over his back. “Hm, baby? Anything you want.”
“I need to.” Leo’s voice was shaky. “I’m so…”
“Yeah, you are.” He could hear Logan’s footsteps coming towards them and knew Leo could, too. Gently, Finn nudged his nose into Leo’s hot cheek until he turned his head towards the bedroom doorway. “Look.”
Leo’s breathing jumped. “I’m coming, I’m—”
Finn felt the first hot streak of Leo’s come on his chest, his neck, just as Logan appeared in the doorway. He was still in his suit, a light grey three-piece that Finn loved him in. His hair was dark, damp still, dripping on his collar. He had a new but shallow cut on his jaw. He stopped hard when he took in the sight in front of him.
“Hello, Lolo.” Finn’s voice was a little tight from the feeling of Leo pressing down on him. “What’s up?”
“Fuck,” Leo panted, eyes hooded.
Logan just stared. “I…”
Finn smiled and turned back to Leo. He carded his fingers through his hair and loosened his grip around his cock, bringing him down with gentle strokes. He was so hot in his palm, spent and softening. Finn felt like even the fabric around him could set him off.
“You,” Leo whispered, smiling as he noticed. “You’re so…”
“I’m good. You’re perfect,” Finn said. “Feel like I’ve come twice just watching you.”
Leo’s smile turned wide and sated. His kiss was slow. Out of Logan’s view, Leo slipped the Sharpie into his hand and Finn grinned, arching into Leo’s hips and the kisses he’d began placing on the underside of his jaw.
Logan just crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway. Slowly, he found the different marks and dark lines on their skin, and frowned. “What is…that?”
Finn brought the pen up to his mouth and took the cap off with his teeth. “C’mere, Ten.”
Logan took a small step back, one corner of his mouth lifting, unsure. “What the fuck?”
Leo leaned back from what Finn was sure was entirely different type of artwork now dotting his neck. “Finn took me to the museum.”
“Artists sign art,” Finn added.
He gave Leo’s shoulder a small push and settled him on his back again and sat up with his knees parted over Leo’s hips. Leo reached out a hand to cup Finn’s covered cock, and Finn let himself rock into it gently as he surveyed Leo’s lean, pale skin, already marked in a few places. He felt like he’d been on the edge for hours. Sometimes, he didn’t want it to end. “Ah. Here.”
He wrote slowly, scrawling his signature again across Leo’s inner arm. He watched the way Leo’s breathing hitched and how goosebumps spread out from the marker’s cold nib. Leo didn’t laugh like he had before. He just pressed up into Finn’s hold as Finn scooted backwards and hooked one of Leo’s strong, slender legs over his shoulder and considered the expanse of Leo’s inner thigh, right where it was softest and sprinkled with blond hair. Finn steadied him, fingers in the strong crease of his hip, and drew a heart.
“Huh.” Logan’s mouth was slightly open. “Isn’t that bad, like, for skin?”
“Not my skin,” Leo whispered. He had his hands above his head and watched Finn through dark, half-closed eyes. “Not in those hands.” He turned his head. “What are you still doing over there?”
“Waiting for someone to take this suit off of me.”
Leo gave Finn a small smack on the hip that Finn took as go. Finn slipped off the bed. In two strides, he was in front of Logan, gently tilting his neck to the side, and writing a small 17 just below his ear.
“Hi, demanding one,” Finn said, then capped the pen a put it between his teeth to hold while he got to work on Logan’s tie.
“Why do you keep putting that in your mouth?”
“To draw your attention to it,” Finn said around the pen.
“Please remember I have to go into a locker room.”
“Oh, come on. You know I gotta show Luke what’s mine.”
Logan tilted his head back and groaned. “Finn.”
“Just kidding.” Finn took the pen out from between his teeth, cupping the back of Logan’s head to pull him into a kiss as he slid his tie out from his collar.
“You’re not kidding,” Logan protested, looking at Leo. “Le’s not jealous of Luke. He’s a mature person.”
“I’m jealous of anyone who gets to spend that much time with you these days,” Leo said.
Logan’s eyes turned soft, still staring at Leo as Finn slipped his jacket from his shoulders. It fell uncaringly to the floor. Finn could have watched them look at each other forever. He could feel their locked eyes like a strand of heat beside him. He undid the top buttons of Logan’s shirt and pushed it off his shoulders just enough to get at the center of his chest.
Logan looked down when he felt the cold pen. “What—”
“This is so much better than writing on shoes.”
H-E-A-R-T. Finn wanted to circle the letters, carve himself a space, and fall in. He settled for a kiss to the skin, then lower, lower, until he was kneeling and Logan’s shirt was on the ground. There was a fresh bruise on his ribs and Finn gently traced its shape before writing Logan Island.
“You’re so weird,” Logan said faintly. He gave Finn’s hair a little tug, brushed a thumb over his bottom lip, then went to kneel on the bed and kiss Leo.
Finn grinned at his soft salut and the sound of a kiss. He pushed himself up and sat on the edge of the bed. While they were busy, he tugged Logan’s socks off and pushed his pant leg up enough to draw a couple stars on the back of his calf. He heard Logan laugh into the kiss. The ink looked different against Logan’s more tan skin. With Leo it was stark and beautiful. Logan made it like it had always been there.
“Good win by the way. We watched you from that corner place we love,” Leo said when Logan rolled on his back to kick off his pants. Leo turned on his side to touch the bruise. “Maybe you should take it easy.”
Logan grumbled something Finn didn’t catch, down to his underwear now.
Leo glanced at Finn, smile knowing. “One more time?”
Logan huffed. “I’ll have big Florida hotel beds to take it easy all by myself all I want.”
Leo reached out for the Sharpie and gave Finn a nod. He hooked a knee over Logan’s thigh and began drawing small stars over Logan’s collarbone.
“Big Florida beds, huh?” Leo asked.
Logan watched Leo’s face as he drew. “Yes.”
“All by yourself?” Finn repeated.
That got Logan to look at him. He still looked put-out by the thought, but there was hesitation there, too.
“Ouais,” he said.
Finn tilted his head. “Says who?”
Leo capped the pen and blew on his stars. They were in a pattern, Finn realized. A constellation.
Logan pushed himself up onto one elbow. He looked between them, mouth open. “Quoi—non. What?”
Finn moved forward to settle in between Logan’s legs, smoothing his hands up Logan’s thighs when he wrapped them around Finn’s waist. “I said, says who?”
“Merci.” The word nearly got lost in Logan’s relieved sigh. Then he was reaching for Finn, locking his fingers around his wrists. “Really? Really?”
“Of course we’re coming with you,” Leo said. “What do you take us for?”
Logan looked like someone had just taken some heavy weight off his shoulders. He turned his head to put Leo’s forehead against his own.
“Thank you,” he whispered. “Thank you…”
“Honey, there’s nothing ‘thank you’ about it,” Leo said. “If we can follow you, we will. You know that.”
“I—still. It’s not like I’ll have much free time,” Logan said. “And—And I thought you’d probably want to go home.”
Leo smiled into Logan’s kiss. “Take a look at Harzy. I think he feels pretty at home right where he is.”
“Oh yeah,” Finn said. He leaned down over their them, barely having to turn his head to place a kiss to the corner of Leo’s mouth, then Logan’s. “We’re going to get you some silver. We’re going to go watch our best friends get married. There’s nothing not ‘home’ about any of that.”
~
It almost felt strange, to watch hockey like this again. To worry about who was going to win and not be able to help a team get there. Sirius spared half a moment to glance at Remus as he set his tea down on the table. He said something soft and smiling as Lily handed Harry over to settle sleepily against his chest.
Sirius watched for a moment as a drone image of a Florida beach took up the TV screen. He stood behind the couch with his arms crossed, and as long as the blue water was on the screen, he could lower his hands to mess gently with the hair at Remus’ nape. Remus, rubbing Harry’s back, looked backwards and upside down at him.
“All right, Black, I’m not kidding, you standing there like that is not going to make the Rangers win.”
“I’m not—” The TNT logo flashed and suddenly Logan’s face filled the screen. He had his mouthguard half out of his mouth, and there was a neat line of stitches on his cheek from a re-opened cut. The camera panned to the ice where the Rangers were about to lose the last seconds of a power-play, and Sirius crossed his arms again, back into their original position. “I don’t want them to win.”
Lily scoffed. “We do for right now.”
“Gah,” James put a finger over her lips. “La-la-la.”
“I won’t say that out loud,” Sirius replied.
Around Harry’s sleeping back, Remus mocked Sirius’ position, crossing his arms. “You’re saying you don’t want Logan to win you-know-what?”
Sirius actually flinched. “I’m saying—I’m not saying anything that could influence anything. I’m standing here, watching a friend on television.”
“You’ve had your arms crossed like that since Logan scored in the first period.” Lily looked at the living room clock. “That’s about an hour and a half ago.”
“Oh my God.” Remus let out a loud ha, then put a hand over Harry’s head as if to say sorry. He held up his phone to Lily and James, who made similar sounds, then flipped it to show Sirius. Leo had sent a picture of Finn to the team group chat. Finn was sitting with his back straight in what looked like a hotel room, palm trees outside. He had his hands placed specifically on his knees, his eyes on an out of sight TV.
Leo had written, he hasn’t moved at all since Lo scored but he “isn’t superstitious.”
Sirius pointedly looked back to the television. Logan was on the ice now, gliding into Florida’s zone.
Sirius glared when he heard the sound of Remus’ camera click.
~
They were about to go into their second over time, and Logan had blood in his mouth as he walked down the tunnel to the visitor’s locker room. He checked his teeth, but it was just a cut lip.
“Fucking seventy-four,” Luke said from two steps behind him. “Got a fucking mouth on him.”
“Ouais.” Logan handed his gloves over to be dried and pulled his helmet off. He rubbed at the red mark the tightness had left and tried to think what Finn would be saying over his shoulder right then. He would be talking a mile-a-minute and pressed right up against his back. Logan could text him and Leo and read the words, but that wouldn’t feel the same.
He could imagine it in snatches. If we had gone around—Too early—So fucking gorgeous, Tremzy—I tried to but he cut me off, so next time—
That wasn’t the same, either.
He got a bag of ice, twisting it closed, before sitting down heavily in his stall and holding it against his mouth. It felt swollen already. The bleeding had stopped, at least.
From his stall, he heard his phone buzz.
Sixteen texts from Finn and Leo. Two from Remus.
One from Sirius.
The Sirius one, for some reason, sent his heart all funny. They talked. Of course they talked, but not much and never during games. Too many lines blurred like that, and it was bad enough that Logan still couldn’t look at Sirius without thinking of him as his captain. But there it was. Sirius Black. One new message.
Finn and Leo’s texts were a tangled string of admiration that ranged from sweet to dirty. Logan bit back a smile and vowed to take another look at those later.
Remus had sent him a screenshot from the Lion’s group chat. A photograph of Finn, sitting tensed on the couch. The beat of warmth that Logan got when he realized that intense look on his face was because he was watching him was another thing to be examined later. The second photo, sent by Remus, was of Sirius standing behind a couch with his arms crossed. He wore the same intense look on his face.
Sirius’ lone message was simple. Bring it back home.
Logan knew Sirius was talking about the game. Bring it back to New York, finish this round on home ice, and move on to the final round for the Cup. But the word bled and healed like the cut on Logan’s cheek and lip. Sirius shared more than one home with him. Home was speaking French. Home was Pascal. Home was letting themselves go, and letting themselves love. Logan had been sitting there, trying to imagine home around him. Home was waiting for him in a hotel room not even twenty minutes away. He’d be washed in blue eyes and sun later tonight, in pale skin and auburn hair. The lonely feeling was half-habit when it came to Logan—and Sirius. Sirius knew that better than anyone.
For a fraction of a second, Logan’s world didn’t feel so very far away.
#vaincre lumosinlove#sweater weather lumosinlove#wolfstar#coops#sports au#o'knutzy#finn o'hara#Logan tremblay#Leo knut#o'darwin#Alex o'hara#kasey winter#Natalie darcy
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an unfortunate habit of sleeping with the elves is absolutely sending me im giggling so bad
happy holidays to you and yours, anon 😘
Inspired by the tags on this post.
Maxiel: Dirtbag Daniel, twinky Max, mature, 957 words
“It’s just two of you this year, but I take it that’s fine with you,” Seb says and shoves the suit into Daniel’s arms. Red and sweaty with an under-note of alcohol that probably shouldn’t be around kids. “Try not to fuck the elf, will you? Or at least don’t do it on company fucking property.”
Daniel tuts, “Learned from the best, mate.”
Seb shoots him a glare like the two of them didn’t make Christmas come early for Mrs. Claus three years ago.
“Just, please,” Seb stresses, and Daniel thinks maybe the promotion was a mistake after all. There’s too much tension in his shoulders now, wrinkles where they shouldn’t be. And there’s no fucking way Lewis will look at him twice if he loses more hair. “Anyway, it’s a guy this time, so maybe that will stop you.”
Daniel hasn’t really dabbled much with guys outside the occasional handjob when a threesome had gone wrong, so it does put a damper on his plan but Seb doesn’t have to know that. He could have changed in the past years, sucked a cock or fucked that twink who always blushes when he comes by to unclog his mother’s drain. Probably wouldn’t go over well with the mister, fucking both his son and his wife. But like, Daniel could have done it.
“And happy fucking holidays to you too, Sebastian,” Daniel tells him and pushes open the door to the changing room. “See you on new years.”
There’s the whoosh of the door closing behind him and then -
“Oh, hello,” someone says, halfway down the bench. “I am Max. I will of course be your elf.”
Daniel doesn’t move, stays rooted in his spot by the door as he watches Max stare up at him with a wide smile.
He’s young, way too fucking young, and that’s not usually a problem for Daniel, but this is just fucking indecent.
His face is all sharp angles, the recent loss of baby fat obvious, and the fatness of his lips makes him look obscene, tongue poking out to leave behind a sheen of spit.
It probably does nothing for how fucked up his lips are, cracked from the wind and cold weather, and Daniel has half a mind to throw him the menthol lip balm Michelle makes him carry around. Instead what he wants is to run his tongue over his lip, suck it into his mouth until whatever energy drink he probably gargled down before coming here is soaked into his taste buds.
Max is still bent over the bench, one foot shoved into the same sheer tights of green and red that Daniel has diligently peeled of the other elves before he fucked them. The same thigh-length dress has been thrown to the floor with no considerations for Max’s obvious dick-situation, which -
“No underwear mate?” Daniel blurts out.
He has a side view of Max, but it’s so fucking obvious how cheeked-up he is from the lack of boxers. The pale skin of his thighs and ass is dusted with fine, blonde hair, and Daniel is almost sure the carpet matches too.
Which, you know, still begs the question of why the cradle-robbee is fucking naked in a mall locker room.
“What?” The kid says and straightens up, both feet dropping to the ground. He looks ridiculous like that, Donald Duck-ing it in his Stanford varsity soccer shirt and nothing else. “Oh, you think -“
Daniel drops down to sit on the bench, hands held up placatingly, “Hey man, you do you, yeah? Just, we’re gonna be around kids, so.”
He’s not the one catching a case if his ass falls over. Seb’s gonna be livid, but that’s not -
Max hikes his shirt, bunched up under the swell of his pecs to show off a distressingly small waist, moles scattered across pale skin. His stomach is flat, trim muscles with just the tiniest curve to his hips, and even if it hadn’t been for the shirt, the yellowed knees are clear signs of his time on the field.
But that’s not -
There’s a band around his waist, just the tiniest slip of cloth over his dick, and Daniel almost thinks he’s wearing a thong, but matching pieces of elastic frame the swell of his ass on either side.
It reminds Daniel of high school varsity sports, of communal showers and coming down the drain when everyone but Scotty and him had left.
Because the kid is wearing a fucking jock strap, and Daniel doesn’t think his mouth has ever been this dry.
“With the tights, I thought of course it would be better like this,” Max says and turns around, shows off his ass and how his shirt falls over it. “Always you cannot see the lines like this.”
He pulls the fabric tight over his ass, and like, the kid is right, but like, Daniel is so clearly not looking for the seams of his fucking underwear like this. His hands twitch in his lap to keep himself from reaching out, touching the swell of his ass.
Daniel thinks, maybe if he curves his palm just right, he could probably hold a cheek in each hand. Fingers spread wide so his thumbs would fall just on the insides of his thighs, barely a slip away from being inside Max.
“Cool,” Daniel says hoarsely.
His knees creak when he stands up but he’s too busy staring at the kid staring back at him to care. So obviously looking for something else, something more, that Daniel doesn’t know what he is supposed to do but reach out and slap his ass.
Max’s breath hitches, the skin of his ass turns scarlet, and Daniel burns with it.
“Well done, kid.”
#maxiel#maxiel fic#max/daniel#I wrote this on the train home so there’s no betaing done#happy holidays#my writing
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In the spirit of Christmas approaching, and as someone who prefers making gifts to buying them (for many reasons, the main two being that I love making things and forcing ppl to look at them and that I’m fuckin broke lmao), how do u think the 141 lads would react to receiving a gift from their spouse that was made by them? Like a drawing, something they knitted/stitched, or even a sculpture?
using this as my merry Christmas post so
merry Christmas and happy holidays yall<3 I hope ur having a great time and enjoying urself, sending much much love, mwah <3
cw: fluff, gn!reader + bonus what they would gift you
Price is a sucker for that stuff. handknit sweater? he'll wear that thing until it's barely more than a thread. nothing more cozy than something someone handmade with love specifically for him, nothing will ever be as comfy. that goes for anything handmade, he'll treasure it until he can't. nothing makes him feel more loved than anything handmade. hes has a hard time gifting things usually and will flat out ask and get what you asked for, but also add some stuff that he thought you might like. huge fan of practical gifts.
Gaz absolutely adores anything you make yourself, especially decorative items. paintings, stitching, sculptures, little trinkets, adores all of it with his whole heart. will keep everything with him, everything around the house/apartment. and he notices is somethings missing too, absolutely upset until he finds it again. he immediately finds a place for whatever you gave to him. kyle isnt really the one to gift materialistic things (sure, you get some jewelry or those new headphones you wanted) but he always gifts creative dates that he takes you on.
Soap is also a sucker for anything handmade. is a huge, huge fan of handmaking presents himself (he mostly draws, will 100% gift you a drawing too) and loves receiving them just as much. your skill level doesn't matter one bit, whether it be a patchy painting, a wonky mug or a sweater with holes, he'll proudly wear/display it and make sure you know just how much he loves it. as I said, you'll get a drawing - probably a portrait he secretly drew of you while you were doing the most mundane shit ever and he couldn't help but think you're gorgeous.
ghost is a secret christmas lover imo. colourful lights, christmas tree, sinple deco. he doesn't really want/ask for gifts, tells people there's nothing he wants when they ask. but listen: handmake him a balaclava. that man will propose to you on the spot. I'm so serious. appreciates any gifts he gets, especially handmade, keeps saying you shouldn't have, but that will make him fall hard. hes the type of guy where you think youll get a gift card at best, but you get almost anything you wanted but didnt get over the year. that cute mug? that sweater? those earrings? all yours, he remebered.
#cod mw#cod mw2#cod mwii#call of duty#cod#cod mw3#cod mwiii#gothghostiie#ask ghostiie#john price#John price x reader#price x reader#price#captain john price#captain price#captain john price x reader#captain price x reader#kyle garrick#gaz#kyle gaz garrick#gaz x reader#kyle garrick x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#ghost#simon riley#simon ghost riley#ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#John mactavish x reader
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@evidenceof happy christmas yna!!!! i was your secret santa this year, and it was an absolute BLAST! you were the best giftee, very thorough in your answers to my asks, and if i didn't need to maintain anonymity for so long, i would have picked your brain on soooo many of your wonderful thoughts. YOU UNDERSTAND ALL THE PAIRINGS SO WELL, and literally every prompt and idea you gave me was SO amazing, and incredible to explore. thank you for being so lovely <3 for you, i have a fic that i've worked on over the past few weeks, inspired by your prompts!
A Busy Blur | runner/leckie | 2k | post-war, developing relationship, a touch of epistolary & long-distance love
**
“You’ll write to me, won’t you Cobber?” Runner said, a playful lilt in his voice. Leckie could have sworn he caught a flash of something more vulnerable, more honest, from around the bags under his eyes, under the furrow of Runner’s brow.
“If you learn how to read, sure.” Leckie said.
And Runner laughed, mouth splitting open in a bright smile that drew Leckie’s attention away from the bruises and the sling his friend’s arm was suspended in.
**
The first letter was simple.
Leckie,
I bet you’re home safe, now. And if you’re not, well, that’s your fault for being the only idiot sonofabitch to get hurt on the train ride from the harbour, instead of being killed by artillery. Somehow, that sounds about right.
Hope the mailing address is right,
Conley.
Leckie smiled wide when he read it, forgetting that he was sitting across from his stone-faced father at the table, half-eaten eggs forgotten in front of him when he had Runner’s letter in his hands.
“Did you get a cheque?” His father asked, speaking up for the first time since he’d come into the dining room and filled the seat at the far side of the table, away from his son.
“No,” Leckie answered simply. If his mother was there, she might have pried, probably asked about a girl, she’d have put just an inch more effort than his dad ever had.
His father made a short grunting sound before turning back to his paper.
(He read the Philadelphia Inquirer. Leckie himself worked for the Philadelphia Record. Figures.)
**
Leckie kept a notebook on him at all times, but he used it most at sports games, taking notes on the plays and activity of the baseball season. The notepad was filled with shorthand accounts of who was doing best, who was doing the worst, teams and rosters and everything he could come up with.
Some days (most,) he wasn’t granted the privilege of good seats, or even tickets to whatever sport was being played. But he had to write the damn article, anyway. So he sat by the radio, listening to the play-by-play accounts as they happened, with their paper’s roster open on the table in front of him.
His notebook looked something like this:
23/04/‘46
NY Giants vs. P. P.
JUDD, Oscar - pitching.
^ 3 SO
NORTHEY, Ron - batting
^ Home run, flyball to deep RF
SEMINICK, Andy - batting
^ Single, F. MCCORMICK SCORES
Playtime : 2hrs 14mins
PS: tell Runner about the weather
**
He’d been surprised at how easy it was to slip back into camaraderie with Runner.
But then again it had been easy on the boat, too, when—
Well, that was in the past. And even if there had been a few road bumps, they had never stopped being friends.
The war being over, reassuringly, didn’t stop that.
**
Runner,
He wrote at the start of his response, and paused.
Runner’s letter sat next to him on his desk, under the warm light of the lamp. It had been dark for hours, and Leckie just couldn’t bring himself to put anything on the page until nearly midnight.
That letter had started with Leckie, and wasn’t that awfully formal? They’d gotten to know each other more intimately than most people would ever manage and— Leckie. It was impersonal. He’d expected something more ridiculous, Peaches, Cobber, something like that.
Leckie was sticking with Runner, for his own purposes.
(It had taken everything in him not to write Dear Vera. Less out of intent, and more out of habit. He’d never sent her any of his letters, and by the time he got him, she was already married. She looked happy, at least.)
Runner,
Got home in one piece. Based on your letter, and the fact that that chicken-scratch is unmistakably yours, I’ll guess that you’re alright stateside.
Since we haven’t got a war to talk about, I’m telling you a bit about work (a bit of complaining, so that you know it’s really me.)
The Philly Phillips won, 5-2. The paper made me sit by the radio box and take notes like some kind of spook, you’d think I work for the Russians, if you saw me hunched over my notebook like that. Last week, they got me a ticket to the actual game. We lost, with three points down. I think I’m cursed, if my presence makes the team lose.
Whatever. It’s still better than scraping out a latrine, with you sorry folks for company.
Leckie.
He posted it in the morning, and tucked Runner's letter away in his drawer.
**
Hoosier promised to write, so did Chuckler, and that Phillips kid, but ultimately, every time he got handed a personal letter by the postman, it was always, always, from Runner.
It felt ridiculous. He’d gone a whole war with those fellas, and they didn’t say so much as hello? But hey, what was he supposed to do?
(Their mailing addresses were tucked away in the same drawer that he kept any letters he got from Runner. They had his, he had theirs, and maybe his was part of some ongoing game of Chicken that he was playing with Hoosier. Either way, Runner didn’t care.)
Cobber,
The newest letter said, because Runner had quit with the Leckie pretence and cut to the chase with the stupid nicknames. Leckie couldn’t help but feel relief. Too many people had called him by his surname in the Marines. And back home, too many people called him Bob. Runner managed to find that surprising middle ground, by letting Leckie be someone else completely, just for a moment.
I’ve got a reason to write this, for once. Today, is Memorial Day. Which, as far as I’m concerned, is the government telling me to take the day off and get wasted, flashing that little veteran’s tag to get a discount at my local drink house.
Now, you’ll get this on, what? Beginning of June? Take some time for yourself, have a drink. (I’m not paying, though. That’s up to you, and your fancy paper job.)
Runner
If there was one thing that Leckie could be assured about, it’s that Runner’s letters would make him smile. He started reading them in his bedroom, instead of cracking the letter open in the dining room, where his parents had to see.
Everyone seemed to expect him to have left the war overseas. And it might have been over, but he couldn’t help but yearn for something that he’d had then. Not war, but something that had been so closely linked with the brutality of it all, that he didn’t think he’d be able to articulate it to anyone.
Maybe, he pondered, Runner understood him. Runner had understood him better than a lot of people had. On the boat ride home from that Australian hospital—
Runner just got it.
**
Runner,
He started, a couple weeks later.
You should get this by July 4th, and I wish you a good Independence Day. Go to a barbecue, wear your dress blues, go to a banquet.
I hope it’s better for you than it will be for me. My parents are leaving me all alone to spend time with my brother and his wife, a couple towns over. I’m expecting to spend the night tucked up in my bedroom, shouting bah, humbug! everytime I hear fireworks. I hope the reference doesn’t go over your head— I can explain it in my next letter.
Leckie
**
The Fourth of July was more miserable than he’d expected. The commotion stirred up more in Leckie’s chest than he wanted to admit. The fireworks were too loud, and July was too hot. He laid on his childhood bed in nothing but his boxers, staring up at the ceiling, working through his third glass of beer.
At some point, he got up, pulled a paper from his desk and started writing.
Runner,
These damn holidays might be more exciting if you got closer.
There’s a good bar near my work, they do swing dancing on Thursday nights: I’m sure it’s your venue. You’re the best dancer I know!
I hope you can hear the sarcasm.
I won’t pick Hoosier over you, this time.
Leckie.
In the morning, after a cup of coffee and an aspirin for his headache, he read it through (as well as a typed page-and-a-half of hazy memories from Mbanika, which he crumpled into a ball and tossed under his bed.) and tucked it carefully into the drawer with Runner’s letters.
He didn’t really want to think too hard about all that.
**
Peaches,
I got the reference, thanks. I like to think you have those big mutton chops that I remember from those old pictures. You’re called Peaches, but you’re not all that sweet, are you?
That’s not a real question. I know the answer.
Hope your Independence Day was as boring as mine. I forgot how loud those things were.
Runner
**
Leckie couldn’t stop writing them. Stupid, ridiculous messages that really meant nothing.
He put them in his drawer, tucked away just in case he ever needed it. Leckie didn’t think it was vain, but some of them were well written. He didn’t feel that too often, so he kept them.
**
I saw a guy with your haircut, made me look twice just to be sure. I should have known it wasn’t you; he was taller.
That one was scribbled in his work notebook, while he was at the game (Phillips vs. Chicago Cubs), and the audience clapped and jeered around him.
You’re a marine, but how well can you swim? I’ve never asked.
Leckie wrote that question on a napkin in a diner. His pen ripped through it at the end.
**
I miss the boys. I miss you.
He didn’t write that one, but he heard it reverberating in his head when he flicked the lamp off. It was burned into the backs of his eyelids, anyway.
I miss you.
He was surprised that he meant it.
**
Professor,
That was how Runner opened his next message. It made Leckie smile. (Of course it did. They all did.)
Why DO we celebrate Labour Day? I saw them putting streamers and banners and what-not up in the streets today. New York City is a funny beast— you should come by, watch the parade.
Hope you get a day off work, and some time to yourself. (I’m still not paying for your drinks)
Runner
Leckie stared at that message for longer than he had any right to. By the time he sent his reply, Labour Day had passed, and he could only wonder what Runner had meant by any of it.
**
Runner,
I’ve got to come up with something more exciting for you. It’s difficult when I can’t see all the ridiculous shit you’re getting yourself into. And you don’t have the inclination to write it to me, I bet.
I’d call you a coward, but you’d call me one right back. Have you ever realised that we bicker like school children?
Leckie
**
To the man who mocks me,
Yeah, well, it’s hard to come up with nicknames for you too. That one just now was shit.
You want to know what I’ve been up to? Really? Well, I’ve got a job at the steelworks, which is great and all. Except I ran into a piece of machinery the other day, busted my lip wide open. There was a hell of a lot of blood. I think the 16-year-old kid who works next to me fainted. How’s that?
We’re both cowards, so what? We served our damn country.
Buster (I sure buster’ed my lip open. Get it?)
**
Bruiser,
All I have to say is that: you’re an idiot!
Yours,
The brilliant professor who’s kept himself out of danger
**
Leckie thought about Runner too much, he realised.
Some part of him was always waiting for the next letter, waiting to write, to come up with something short and stupid to say to the man, just so that he could imagine Runner’s familiar laugh.
Shit. Leckie thought, as he folded up another half-drafted, but unsendable letter.
**
Professor,
Tell me a story, if you’re so wise.
Your bruised-lipped-friend,
Runner
**
Runner,
If you really want to know, I’ve been more of an idiot to you.
My mother asked me this morning if I was getting married soon. I told her no.
She said that she thought I had been in contact with “that lovely girl from across the street,” and the woman she meant was the dearest Vera that everyone was so tired of hearing about. I had to break my mother’s heart and tell her that Vera moved away months ago, and that she was already married— to an army man, no less.
The old woman was more distraught about it than I was. Turns out she thought that Vera and you were one in the same. I’m surprised she never sent you an engagement present.
Leckie.
**
Leckie,
Hell, why didn’t you say so? I would have acted soppier.
In that case, you should come to New York this November and visit your sweetheart, how’s that?
Runner
**
Leckie blinked at that, then he stared for a long time, hoping to make sense of it all.
**
Runner,
November’s no good, I’m all booked up. How’s early December?
Leckie
**
To a difficult guest,
I guess I can fit you into my busy schedule.
I’ll see you in three weeks, then?
Runner.
**
Leckie booked a train ticket before he could convince himself otherwise.
Then, he stuffed a handful of his little messages into an envelope, scribbled Runner’s address, and mailed it all without a second thought.
Five days letter, he got an envelope back, inside, with no signature, was something simple, etched in Runner’s charming chicken-scratch:
We should have done all this in February. I would have wished you a happy Valentine’s.
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At The End Of All Things
"You know, Dean, I–" Cas pauses and Dean can see his jaw clenching and unclenching, his brows furrow. "I don't want you to feel like you have to carry this all on your own, because you don't. We're all stuck here. We are all hopeless and scared, and– I know it isn't much, but...I am glad it's us." "Yeah, I– me too, man. Me too." And who was Dean to want more than this? - or - The world is ending, and there is nothing Dean can do about it, but he isn't alone. He has Cas. They have each other. Dean just needs a little time. Because this story is, above all else, about hope.
Read more on Ao3
Here is a snippet:
Dean tries to ignore the disappointment that leaks into his bones when he arrives and realizes that the lights in the cabin aren't on yet. He shakes his head and laughs at himself. This is ridiculous. Dean closes the door behind him and turns on the lights. It takes a few moments before the lightbulb in the middle of the ceiling turns on with a faint click.
The place is decent. Most of the cabins have a similar layout, a big living room with a small kitchenette situation, a bathroom, and a bedroom or in Dean's case two bedrooms. They had managed to make themselves at home the best they could with what they had, and living with Cas turned out to be much easier than Dean had thought. In the shelter of these walls, it almost felt like they were living a normal life. Cas and Dean had spent hours on their shared sofa, planning and researching ways to stop the end of the world, but they'd also spent an equal amount of hours just talking, drinking, and simply... being. Dean justified their little roommate situation as something necessary for them to make progress in their big plan to get Sam back. So sharing a cabin with Cas had been, above all, a matter of convenience.
"Are you going to stand there all night?"
Dean jumps slightly at the sound of the voice he'd recognize anywhere. "Jesus- fuck, Cas!" He puffs before turning around. Dean catches sight of his friend's silhouette – all broad shoulders and messy hair – in a corner of the room.
"You look terrible."
Dean can hear the amusement in Cas' voice as he pushes himself from where he is currently leaning against the doorframe of their bathroom. He walks a few steps in Dean's direction, and Dean moves without thinking, meeting Cas halfway, taking him in a tight embrace. Cas returns the hug without hesitation, and Dean feels his body relax against strong and comforting arms. On instinct, he buries his face in the crook of Cas' neck and takes a deep breath. Cas smells like cedar wood and smoke, he smells like soil and sweat.
Dean is finally home.
"Good to see you too, man. You look–" Dean begins, but stops when he gets a better look at Cas under the artificial light of their kitchen. He glimpses at the dried blood on Cas' temple, then the black eye, and his busted bottom lip.
He grabs Cas' shoulders, maybe a little too roughly, "Woah, what the fuck happened to you, man?"
Cas just shrugs, eyes tired, but a soft smile adorning his lips. He loosens his grip around Dean's shoulders and takes a step back, his hands falling to his sides. The loss makes Dean frown, his hands move up on their own accord. It takes him a second to realize what he is doing, but when he does, Dean relaxes his face and crosses his hands over his chest. He leans against the kitchen counter behind him instead.
Smooth, Winchester. Real smooth.
#supernatural#spn#destiel#destiel fic#destiel fanfic#dean winchester#castiel#deancas#fanfic#ao3#my writing#endverse#endverse!dean#endverse!cas#endverse!destiel#I don't know if it's smart to post it again#but here you go#comments and kudos are very welcome <3#probably not the best time to post it too but whatever
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you: nicholas alexander chavez, the actor from ryan murphy's recent work
me, a mama's girl and daytime tv viewer:
#text post#general hospital#nicholas alexander chavez#spencer cassadine#sorry i'm still not over my shock at this lol#i remember asking my mom MONTHS ago (she follows general hospital news online) 'hey wheres spencer i havent seen him in awhile?'#'oh his character died off. the actor is doing some netflix show where he plays a murderer'#and you have to understand. i dont consume anything to do w true crime. but to my 63-year-old mother. ryan murphy doesnt exist#so bc of just how self-contained the archaic institution of network soap operas are. i just. idk i didnt assume it was a big role#it didnt register to me that it was the sequel to the dahmer show. is what i am saying. and i never thought about it again#mommy made it sound like he might be coming back bc soap opera characters fake-die all the time#and so i put the thought out of my head until completely independently i was watching a video about monsters: menendez being flawed#and i was like. going absolutely insane w how familiar he looked i was like 'ok i know that man cant be too famous but i KNOW him'#'i know him from something and i know him WELL from something. like whatever hes from is iconic to me'#and then the video creator said his name and i was like THATS INSANE WHERE DO I KNOW THAT NAME??!?!??#it's a name i read in the credits but probably never thought in my head at all bc sorry he's just spencer to me#so i googled it and i was gobsmacked. i was like MOM DIDNT SAY he was gonna be in THIS SHIT!?!?!?#i also do lay my life down on the defense that the cinematography of a prestige netflix drama makes him less recognizable to me#who knew him best under cheap soap opera lighting in basic back and forth dialogue shots. like#i have to be honest i never cared for his looks on gh bc he just kinda looked like too perfect. like he looked like a mannequin#i see it now though i get it#i get why he's very fan editable to the true crime girlies i get it#not that it matters. im just in mourning bc it never occurred to me the spencer era was over. i actually liked his character#i cant tell u why bc he wasnt all that distinguishable from all the other basic dramatic character archetypes. idk it was a good performanc#i cant explain to u what makes a soap opera character distinct while still being completely generic (they all are)#i also liked his relationship w his girlfriend in the show it was cute. he was evil but they were sweet#nicky please come back. im begging u. as your only general hospital era fan who is your age#i dont wanna watch monsters menendez i reeeeeally dont
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looks like I can't "i'm just a girl" my way out of this one, ladies
#I am joking#I've never really used that as an excuse for stuff#I prefer to face the ugly truth which is that I am fully capable of doing this but I also hate it with every fiber of my being#“do it scared” sure. how about do it angry and crying and tired. sooo so so tired.#and like. I can see the root of my problems too. I am now taking steps to address it.#which unfortunately means less time with you lovely lot on here#and also less tv :( sad dayz#but for the best!#but yeah it's just been this big swirling cloud of Tasks and horrid ones too. like Yucky ones to me. emotionally#and it literally never ever ever ends#so like welcome to adulthood or whatever#anywayyy I'll be back sometime in July probably#love you all <3 pray for me!#inardentdaylight and jade and magpie and thatscarletflycatcher I love y'all SPECIFICALLY <33333#and chris and mintandcreme!!!! how could I forget#also I will keep writing as much as I can so when I pop in to post writing updates I'll check my notifs :)#elly's posts
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idk if anyone is following specific projects ive talked about/mentioned but. i just want to say i know this year (especially the last couple months) has been chaotic and scattered and ive kept starting things and then they just. disappear from existence. i wanna semi apologise for that & tell you that i will be trying to do a lot less of that from this point- i wont always succeed, in very whim prone ':) but. i will be trying to keep a stable focus. i think i have plans to help with that.
i hate to treat my craft as content, but i hope whatever you signed up for will be better next year. i love talking about what i do & figuring out problems with you guys, and im looking forward to more of it in the future.
#this is mostly for the regulars on here <3 thank u for ur patience my dear friends#this year has been a lot. and ive been trying to control my emotions & understand them and i havent always succeeded#and there was definitely a point in here where i got out of control in letting my brain do whatever it felt like at that exact second#which felt good at the time but led to a lot of shiny sparkling ideas and no actual progress#sorry this is probably too personal but i know some of you dont follow my main & therefore miss out on my more personal posting#im not sure that i have some kind of mood swing disorder. but treating myself like i most likely do has been working out well for me#so thats the path im taking until it stops being productive#theres still a lot to figure out about the best way to live but. i feel in control and im also taking control instead of going with the flow#so we will see
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true friendship is making pot brownies as a gift for someone using marijuana you grew in your garden xxx (Blamore would do this. He would make pot brownies for his friend if it knew they partaked in edibles JSJSJ)
#IT WAS PROBABLY NOTHING BUT IT FELT LIKE THE WORLD: musings.#MAN IS BOUND TO LIE ABOUT HIMSELF: headcanons.#tw: drugs.#LOL ok this is partially a joke post but seriously... who is going to let it cook at least SOME kind of brownies for them 👀#bc one of blamore's love languages is gift giving and i swear to god he makes the best darn brownies.#like they are just the right consistency every single time and they're sooo fudgey but also not too fudgey at the same time#which is honestly kind of an art NGL because i know that i for one have struggled before with making the 'perfect brownie'#though that could just be my ovens fault bc this struggle is usually that it doesn't get cooked in the middle for whatever reason idk LMAO
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i want to put link in isat. im sure hed do fine. the heros spirit endures
#my post#i was gonna say like. 'probably not the worst thing the heros spirit has endured.' but actually#man. idk. ppl like to say majoras mask is super dark. i think bc ur constantly faced with tragedy in a very direct way#zelda is usually slightly less in your face abt that stuff. mm crosses the line for that juust enough for it to be Particularly Notable#loz generally isnt afraid to address the Horrors. or at least acknowledge them#i dont mean this in a 'mm is darkest zelda' or whatever kind of way. (see jacob gellers video 'every zelda is the dsrkest zelda')#i mean it as like. mm is just louder about it#yknow. but is mm is speaking loudly then. if u put isat next to loz then it would drown mm out quite easily#in large part bc the story is just told differently#the characters are much more expressive in every way. bc the story is being told through expression#whereas loz tells stories specifically via player action#if that makes sense?#loz focuses on the journey. isat focuses on how the journey feels#not to mention links permanent 😶. which definitely influences this#honestly link as a general character (tho especially botw link) is very similar to siffrin. im not gonna try to put that into words rn but#maybe another time#anyways. if isat were told more like a zelda game i think it would be along mm and botw#i say those 2 specifically bc time loop and death and loss. lol#if the reverse were true. if loz ganes were told more like isat. then god dude i dunno#i might go through the plots of each and measure out how much i think the bitch(link) is Going Through It sometime#not rn. but sometime#initial gut thoughts tho. i think probably oot sksw la andd. possibly ww. wojld have similar emotional impact#sksw especially. have you seen his face when he sees zelda in the crystal thing. god#id say botw too but tbh. i kind of think its emotional impact is best as is.#it leaves itself a lot of room to breathe. you can rlly like. think abt it.#man these tags are off topic from the original post. eh its my post who care
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been playing bits and pieces of horizon forbidden west! game's pretty as hell
#horizon forbidden west#photo mode#my edits#yannow. it got me thinking too. the npc fidelity in this game is off the fucking shits. never seen anything like it#even secondary dialogues are leaving all the competition in the dust. it's an insane level of work#major burnout red flags for sure. but also maybe talking about engines as specialized tools instead of ubiquitous ones isn;t so bad?#i mean there's definitely trends. ramming down RPGs down frostbite's throat has never worked well#while decima is tearing up the open worlds and tech fidelity quotas like nbd even on prev gen#is it really about implementation at this point#maybe some engines just. work best for certain types of hard goals. and choosing that right is what matters#i pkayed this after ragnarok and that game looks embarassing next to hfw. and I'm not even saying it flippantly. I stand by what i've said#shorter games less scope lower fidelity etc. for healthier dev teams. but this can be a scalability tell tale? maybe using something#like decima can mean an easier time for a standard EA dev cycle *without* hitting these insane fidelity goals. just thinking out loud#cause forever salty about frostbite. probably wrong but hey! I am on a blogging website famous for its phobia of deeper contexts#or maybe playing as aloy gave me that stupid self confidence juice#the way she bulldozes into delicate foreign policies with nothing but her ego and hutzpah really proves that whiteness is alive and well#in whatever variant of post-post-apocalypse this story is set into. they better interrogate her issues cause otherwise this plot will like#fizzle out under the weight of her self-righteousness lmao
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well i guess i can play bg3 now, assuming it finishes downloading sometime in the next 2 months
#personal#despite following many people who are very into it i still know absolutely nothing about what it's about#like i know the premise of the brain tadpoles but that's it#i definitely need to do something fun after the last few days of supervising peach#(update: after not eating or sleeping for 3 days she is now doing both! she's very hungry and very tired and im very relieved)#but also after the last 6 hrs of just non-stop downloading and installing things. windows is sooo bad for upgrading#all the dai dlc probably has another 20-30 mins left and then ive finished all the da games and also all my modding tools#i think im actually not bothered even transferring my old saves for the da games. i never go back once ive finished a playthrough#i guess the only thing is if i wanna play da2 before next playing dao and have to use a custom worldstate hm#the only other thing is that dao doesnt connect online anymore so i have no achievements or rewards for completing dlc#it wouldnt be too hard to find my user profile file on my old hard drive but i almost wanna start from scratch and see how long it takes#the thing with that tho is that it's probably the worst (or maybe best lmao) game to have my achievements reset#because it takes a minimum of 6 playthroughs to get all achievements (assuming you finish every game you start)#for da2 it's 3 (reach kirkwall with each class) and for dai it's 1#but dao has an achievement for each origin and even other than that there are achievements for filling each ability tree#(min 5 playthroughs of the base game or 3 with awakening) and all romances (4) and all endings (3 i think)#anyway. whatever i'll decide later. the only utility of achievements are the dlc ones that unlock items#huh this is a post about bg3 and i spend most of the time talking about da#anyway bg3 currently says 2 hrs remaining but that'll probably speed up once the dai dlc finishes. only have trespasser left#and whatever tf 'english voice over pack' is??
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This is technically a Diana's age poll but I framed it partially around Julia's rescue because that's the event I need to contextualize and whether or not Diana is a thing yet is p important for my purposes. I would keep the Pérez run and postcrisis continuity in mind when answering this bc that's when this is relevant but I'd keep in mind that even though Diana is very young there (like early 20s) we don't know I don't think if she ages differently as a child (esp as a themysciran AND being made from clay) and in some versions she is older than she looks and was made earlier
Edit: I accidentally logic-ed this out in the tags lol 🤦♀️but feel free to still vote however you want. Going to publish this anyway bc I think I made some good points later in my tags
#blah#the 45 years is a guesstimation of julias age w her being in her late 40s#bc she has a middle school aged daughter which would make you lean a bit younger but shes also highly respected prof at harvard (is she the#dept head? i think so. and has a career that would suggest older. and shes also drawn middle aged so ��♀️#i would say late 40s early 50s for her honestly. but i moved it down a lil bit bc of vanessas age#wait shit i may have contradicted logic here bc wasnt the diana trevor stuff supposed to have happened before dianas birth. and that was#wwii. which would be btwn 42 and 45 years. BC PÉREZ!TREVOR IS OLD I FORGOT THAT#okay so actually there still could be a question of what happened first the timeline would just be much shorter#but then wouldnt julias family be boating during wwii? that makes no sense#im definitely thinkimg too hard about this probably. logically it would make the most sense if diana was like 20smth in reality. but thats#its own basket of worms honestly. like what do you mean hippolyta only had like 20 yrs w her daughter out of a lifespan of thousands of#years. what do you MEAN she became champion and ambassador so young like#like also thats the point though. she had to wear a mask in the challenge for a reason. her inexperience with men is what makes her the kind#of ambassador they need. and her youth and relation to hippolyta and role as the baby of the amazons is one of the things that makes her#ambassadorship SO important is bc she fulfills that role in an ancient sense. where it would be a sign of great trust and respect to send#someone close to the crown as an envoy bc it shows you mean business and arent going to reneg on whatever the deal is. bc if you do they#shoot the messenger#god anyways i very much answered my own question here in the tags like 100%. esp in regards to the pérez canon bc he very much laid this out#and i was trying to weasel my way out of it. only that didnt work and the decisions he made he made for a reason and they have huge#narrative importance. damn. okay then#i always write the shittiest posts and the best tags and then have to keep the post to keep the tags#i rlly need to make these tags posts ugh. anyways keeping this up bc of my tags abt diana and ambassadorship#also sidenote I LOVE HIPPOLYTA#just though id mention that. i love how much shes motivated by love and i also love when she makes fucked up decisions bc of that and has to#live with them. woman of all time FOR REALS#god this is making me want to reread historia again lol bc its the one ww comic i own. also its fire. and hippolyta gets to make shitty#decisions motivated by emotion and live w the consequences. and the comic is actually good unlike when that happened in the messner-loebs#run. which was the other instance of that ive read rlly. 10000% sure there are others but i havent fully gotten there yet.#i mean ive read other comics where she makes painful decisions thats like her whole deal but there are different vibes to those than the two#i mentioned. like the exile thing in ww year 1 or rlly anytime she has to send diana away
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Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 14: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression
(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)
Yesterday's poll decided that The Adventurer should relax by spending his afternoon shopping ..
~
He trots down the mossy cobblestone walkway, gazing around in awe as he approaches the central hub of the small city. Tiny shops and stalls and carts are woven through the few clusters of taller buildings, with a modest crowd bustling back and forth between them. Despite much of the land being cleared for structures and pathways, it's still lush with greenery wherever it can be, every blank stone wall or street corner dotted with trailing vines and flowering fruit trees.
After spending a good 25 minutes trying to orient himself at the city map directory, he finally finds his way onto one of the primary shopping streets, eager to spend the afternoon lazily strolling about, trying to ignore his physical aches and just take in all the sights as he hunts for interesting items....
...A few hours (and multiple snack breaks) later, the streets begin to glow with a hazy warmth as lanterns are lit, marking the nearing sunset. Possibly because of the fight yesterday, he's felt shakier, more easily startled than usual, and suddenly realizes an urgent need to be safely inside his room at the inn before nightfall. He wanted to stay out longer, see the lights and the crowds, fascinating scenes of city nightlife he's never been exposed to before.. but, his nerves are impossible to ignore.
Begrudgingly preparing to slink off towards the inn in a sweaty anxious panic, he stops in the doorway, resolving to at LEAST buy himself ONE nice item before he leaves. He doesn't have much money, sure, but it'd be a shame to simply look around all day and not get anything. All travelers need to collect their souvenirs, right? But.. What should he get?
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Additional Information (feel free to skip this part, it's just extra context for people who are interested lol)
just for record (in case it influences what people think he should buy), this is the adventurer's current inventory contents:
small journal + pencil to document his travels (and a few colored pencils for sketching plants or doodling)
a basic travel guide booklet
a simple map of the area
a small glass lantern case you can put candles in
fire starting materials
basic matches
first aid kid (a few bandages, simple antibacterial balm, some dried herbs that can be used for minor issues like stomach aches or nausea)
one metal cup, one metal bowl/plate thing, one metal fork/spoon, a cooking knife, and one metal pot for cooking over the fire
a basic toiletry bag (toothbrush, herbal mixture toothpaste type thing, bar of soap, one towel, a rag, a few disposable paper napkins, moisturizing oil, hair brush, a tiny cracked mirror)
three bottles of various spice mixes for flavoring the plain/bland food he usually forages on the road (+ plain salt)
a glass jar of berries
a container of plain dried oats
a container of dried beans
half a loaf of stale bread
one carrot he found
a bag of dried fruit
about 15 coins (maybe equivalent to $45 USD in our world money lol)
a basic fishing kit (simple lures, hooks, string)
two containers of canned fish just as a back up in case he ever can't find fresher food for the cat
a cheesy fairytale romance novel about people going on a grand heroic journey, to help give him inspiration to continue on his own travels and be the ultimate Super Cool Adventurer Hero
an old folded up letter from his family
a fabric pouch of cool shiny rocks + other trinkets he's collected
one change of underwear, one change of socks, + winter gloves
foldable saw
some twine/string
a basic sewing kit (2 needles, one spool of thread, a thimble)
lawyer's business card (from boat party)
lawyer's fancy expensive giant scarf (also from party)
1 lunchbox of vegetable dumplings (from Innkeeper)
2 canteens of water
a small dagger for cutting rope, vines, multipurpose anything
a little tin of mint & rose flavored candies for when his mouth gets dry
a box of cubed dried chicken as cat treats
a box of fancy tea
one large rope
a roll of fabrics (one thick blanket for padding when sleeping on the ground, some basic tent fabric to make shelter from, a few spare fabric scraps, 2 cloth napkin/towel things, two cloth sacks for extra carrying capacity if needed)
1 pouch of dried meat
5 candles
Innkeeper's hand-drawn map to her brother's hideout
and of course, the Mysterious Egg in a little wooden box
the adventurer's current main quest: follow his map to reach the abandoned castle ruins and see the rare animal specialist about the mysterious egg he has
#paventure posting#poll#polls#choose your own adventure#Just a fun shopping day! what shall he get? :0#Also the cat is riding on his head in the image but I picture more that the cat probably sits on his shoulder or just#follows him on the ground when he's walking around. probably shoulder is best in crowded areas so they#don't get separated. I just can't draw the cat on the shoulders because of the more like ''chibi'' art style. his head is so giant there's#no room for anything on his tiny shoulders that are covered up by his hair anyway lol#If I drew him in my own actual more realistically proportioned style then. maybe#I should do a ''normal'' drawing of him.#maybe like a a character sketch to show his outfit fully or something. But..eh#I finally made the writing shorter again. The past few days have been too long. but I'm working back towards like#3 paragraphs or less. Today is 4 but still.. better than some of the other days. Which those days I did also have to describe#more but still. I do these super super quickly so it's better for it to be shorter if it can be lol#the writing SEEMS longer since I did also include his entire inventory but jhjknk#I just LOVE thinknig about inventories. Part of the pictures I want to post on my main blog at some point if I ever finally#edit all of them is I gathered a few items from around the house and made little fake adventurer inventories#like just groups of things someone might carry around. This was months and months ago it just takes me THAT long to actually#find the time/energy to edit and post photos lol. But for whatever reason some of my favorite Unnecessary Details to fixate on#(and I LOVE fixating on small pointless details) is like.. what someone is carrying aroun with them. What they have in their bag#and why and what it says about them and what it looks like and the story behind it and where they got it and etc.#Of course his is pretty plain because he barely brought anything with him. but still lol.. I'm leaving his backstory up to interpretation#since he's kind of a character where most of the decisions are made by other people. so I'm not sure if he doesn't have much because#he used to be a poor farm boy or something. Or maybe he just was so overexcited to leave he forgot to pack enough. maybe he's just#bad a planning. maybe he's rich actually but his parents didnt want him to waste his time on adventuring so they didnt support him#or buy things for him and he had to scrap it together himself. etc. etc. Whatever the case. He has ENOUGH to be prepared#and to survive generally. but it's all very like. flimsy basic stuff. materials that tear easily. bent metal pot with dents in it. etc. lol#ANYWAY.. new poll adventure.. this one did take a little longer than I wanted but not as long as the last one. Trying to get back on track#I will hopefully have less dr's appointments in april. so.. aaaa
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By trying to evade tackling the whole "there are other kinds of couples besides man+woman" thing with my little cousins (until they're old enough), I found out I seem to have just, accidentally taught them I dislike straight couples??
The other day I asked about two movie characters they liked, a boy and a girl that had an obvious thing going on,
"ooh are they dating~~~?"
And my cousin quickly went "NO!!! No they're just best friends!!" and changed the subject like he didn't want me to look any deeper into it
SORRY KID WHERE DID I GO WRONG
#like yeah I'm not the BIGGEST fan of children dating in kids' media but even that is a lil hypocritical on my part#had my first date on first grade! it's whatever! kids are dumb!#I know they probably got it from my stories‚ 'cause they all have two main characters - a boy and a girl - that are always /only/ best frie#but if there ever /is/ a couple‚ it IS going to be a straight couple so I don't know how I managed to confuse him like that#i'm all about depicting healthy relationships too. idk. not telling them any stories about children dating any time soon sooo#ig this will just have to ride itself out#text post#lgbtq#heteronormativity#don't even know how to tag this ill leave it like that
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Sometimes I wish I was into getter sooner because the curse of “being in a small fandom of a series that’s been around for decades” is there was always fans before you even if the difference is only by a couple years yet those people do eventually stop talking about it. Not leaving the fandom persay but they got different interests so they don’t feel inclined to stick to this one thing, they’d still talk about it if someone brought it up to them it’s just something that isn’t on their radar a lot until something new comes out. Which is why so many people came back when arc aired but either choose to stay or just left after it died down. I missed out on a lot even if it’s only because I’m younger and a lot of earlier fandom days would’ve been bound to have some doom posting about the mangas ending-there’s still people arguing arc anime didn’t technically “resolve it” bc some people are that salty how it turned out but I don’t wanna imagine how it was prior-and it sucks I’ll never get to know some of these people-
But I also not only realized I still have more than enough getter friends as is to make up for that, if I was exposed to this series in my early teens I think the results for how I would’ve turned out as a person would’ve been far more worse so it’s probably good it didn’t happen💀
#meg text#getter robo#for reference I only know wtf getter was because of my bf (who was just a friend at the time)#I specifically got dragged into around arc but didn’t watch arc first due to needing more context#and also my ass could not keep up with seasonal anime so even if my bf convinced me I’d be slow#so he started me with arma and I got honey trapped by fucking ryoma (my bf planned this too)#I probably saw getter stuff in passing without realizing it likely just people’s pfp with a character or the robot#but I have no idea how I would’ve discovered it otherwise unless something else got me down the mecha rabbit hole#which- seems unlikely bc I didn’t even know mecha was a GENRE until getter somehow#none of the mainstream animes that were mechas I knew were mechas and I only watched one ep two of them💀#I was likely gonna be stuck being into whatever if I didn’t get dragged like this and be clueless to mecha#but god if I discovered it if I was like- 13 or younger? I fear for that version of me#would be more traumatized would draw more crusty ryomas then I first did because I couldn’t anatomy back then#still can’t but at least I can make a body look like a body#probably would get more sad about it’s current state then I did with fucking mm#people would also probably think I’m older like how mm fans assumed I was bc I posted about the ds games G O D#yeah getting dragged in by 2021 was the best choice even if “fuck knows what we’re getting” is up in the air still
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