#im not sure that i have some kind of mood swing disorder. but treating myself like i most likely do has been working out well for me

[bismuthburnsblue]

idk if anyone is following specific projects ive talked about/mentioned but. i just want to say i know this year (especially the last couple months) has been chaotic and scattered and ive kept starting things and then they just. disappear from existence. i wanna semi apologise for that & tell you that i will be trying to do a lot less of that from this point- i wont always succeed, in very whim prone ':) but. i will be trying to keep a stable focus. i think i have plans to help with that.

i hate to treat my craft as content, but i hope whatever you signed up for will be better next year. i love talking about what i do & figuring out problems with you guys, and im looking forward to more of it in the future.

[my-castles-crumbling]

hey cas,

so, i dont really know exactly how to word things right so please bear with me while i try to explain a bit.

i think i have bipolar disorder (or something similar, im still looking into things), but i dont know if im just going crazy and imagining things. theres not really anyone in my life i can talk to about it to gauge their opinion, so im kind of left by myself to deal with it.

i dont have a trusted adult or loved one i can go to for help, and ive not been to a doctor since probably 2017 at the latest so im not even sure who id be making an appointment with to discuss anything like this. ive considered trying to get myself into therapy but im afraid that if i go in saying that i think im bipolar and have other mental illnesses (im about 99% certain i have anxiety and likely some sort of depressive disorder too, but that might be more linked with the mood swings of bipolar) that its the wrong way to go about it? like, i might just be really ignorant but i dont think thats how therapy works is it?

basically im worried that if i go in saying the disorders i think i have, then theyll tell me im exaggerating or that i need other people to back me up or that i do need to see my gp doctor (which, again, i dont actually think i have one) or that it isnt my place to try to diagnose myself etc.

im not really sure what im asking here? maybe if you have any advice/experience about what therapy is actually like or what i could expect? or a better way to go about getting help? i really dont know honestly aha, sorry

Well, you've definitely come to the right place lol, I've been to and ghosted many a therapist! (Don't ghost your therapist!)

Actually, recently I started therapy again and it's been a great experience, so let me tell you about it. Warning: I live in the US, so if you live elsewhere, it might be different.

When you start therapy, they're going to ask you a LOT of questions. Lots about your background, your childhood, your feelings, etc. It'll feel a bit invasive, but make sure to be honest! Like brutally honest. Like if you're like...'I might be feeling this way but idk if I'm faking..' tell them that. They need to know everything.

Then, if you're a minor, they'll talk to your parents and get their insight. If you have issues with your parents, make sure to tell them that BEFORE this part happens, so they can take what your parents say with a grain of salt.

Last, they'll give you a 'tentative diagnosis.' This means that this is what they think you have, but it's not a die-hard medical diagnosis. They'll treat you based on this, but if you ever wanted accommodations in school or anything for it, you would have to go to a clinical psychiatrist to get it written up.

Here's the thing: the diagnosis my surprise you or even make you feel invalidated. If it does? Tell them that. Because, two things: One- they may have gotten something wrong. Or two- they need to know if you aren't understanding something fully.

To be very personal, I am diagnosed with both depression and anxiety. When I started therapy recently and again got those diagnoses, I wasn't surprised. But I also was told I have 'illness-anxiety disorder' which is the new term for a hypochondriac. I was super insulted because I was picturing the stereotypical hypochondriac who fakes illnesses for attention (this was uneducated of me) but my therapist explained that this version of anxiety more means that I have a lot of anxiety related to being nervous to get sick or the results of getting sick. Which was like- oh. yeah. I do panic every time someone sneezes on me. My therapist said this has become increasingly common since COVID.

All this to say it sounds like seeking out therapy might be a great way for you to get the answers you're looking for. But even if they're not the answers you think they'll be, remember that your feelings and experiences are still extremely valid and no less real.

<3 <3 <3

[understandingchaoss]

Hey! I was wondering what the names were of the medications that you take. Im having a hard time trying to find the right type of medications to help me and i know youve tried some, Thanks!

Hi anon. First of all, what works for one person, may not work for the other. Mental health medications are a serious matter and everyone’s brain reacts to them different. So in reality, the names of the medications that I take shouldn’t really be important, because there is a wide variety of medications. I’ve tried 11 different ones so far and haven’t even made a dent in all of the medications that are available. I currently take Wellbutrin, Latuda, and Mirtazapine. I am prescribed Lorazepam when needed for anxiety. 

I’m not sure if you know, but there are what they call different “families” of medications for mental illness. My suggestion, if you haven’t already, would be to try out different ones in different families, whether it be together or just one at a time. Most medications are designed to be taken together even if they aren’t of the same family. 

Just so that you don’t have to sit down and google it all, I’ll include stuff for you to reference from if you feel like it’s something you need to bring up with your mental health professional. Each medication I’m going to list will have the name brands in parenthesis, if it’s applicable, and there are always different variations and types of almost every single medication. Also, please remember that each medication is designed to treat something different. A lot of the time, you can treat an illness that it may not be specifically designed for. My psychiatrist always reminds me that you are treating the symptoms of the illness, not the diagnosis. So just because something is designed to treat schizophrenia or bipolar doesn’t mean you can’t use it to treat depression or anxiety. 

I will include which medications I have previously tried and whether or not I liked them, just to kind of give you an idea of how they might work in some people. But please do not base your judgement or decision off of that. This needs to be discussed with your mental health professional. The medications I’m going to list are also not every single medication available. There at least 20 in almost every single class or family, and some of them are almost irrelevant to list. But I’m hoping that what I do list will help you out.

Anitdepressants are a very broad family of medication, so sometimes I get a lot of my information mixed up, based on what I know. So anyone can feel free to correct me if I’m wrong on some of the classifications or families of these medications. Each classification has a family.

There are anywhere from 4 to 9 different types of classifications depending on the way you look at it and if you classify the ones not widely used in the United States to even be a classification. Two of which are very similar, as are their medications, so I will be listing it as one. The first, most common, are selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) which treat the lack of serotonin and include: Citalopram (Celexa), Escitalopram (Lexapro), Fluoxetine (Prozac, Rapiflux, Sarafem, Selfemra), Paroxetine (Paxil, Pexeva, Brisdelle), Sertraline (Zoloft). Out of those, I have tried Lexapro, Paxil, and Zoloft. I felt absolutely nothing on the Lexapro and the Paxil, so they didn’t help at all. I have awful results on Zoloft. I actually had cut myself for the first time while I was taking it. It also made my bad thoughts much more persistent. However, Zoloft is the most common medication used out of all of those.

Serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs) wich treat the lack of serotonin and norepinephrine and include:Desvenlafaxine (Pristiq, Desfax, Ellefore, Khedezla), Duloxetine (Effexor, Irenka), Milnacipran (Ixel, Jonicia, Savella), Levomilnacipran (Fetzima).I have not tried any of these.

Tricyclic/tetracyclic antidepressants (TSAs) are amongst the most recent developed antidepressants. They tend to have a lot more side effects, so they are not very common. They include:  Amitriptyline, Amoxapine, Desipramine (Norpramin), Doxepin, Imipramine (Tofranil), Nortriptyline (Pamelor), Protriptyline (Vivactil), Trimipramine (Surmontil), Mirtazapine (Remron). I currently take Mirtazapine and so far I like it. It's sedating, so it helps me sleep and it seems to be working well with my wellbutrin. 

Reversible inhibitor of monoamine oxidase A (RIMAs) are an interesting type of antidepressant. It’s a lot more for me to type out, so if you’re interested in how they work, I’d be happy to answer that in a separate question. These are not widely used in the United States though. They consist of: Brofaromine (Consonar), Caroxazone (Surodil, Timostenil), Eprobemide (Befol), Metralindole (Inkazan), Minaprine (Cantor), Moclobemide (Aurorix, Manerix), Pirlindole (Priazidol), Toloxatone (Humoryl). I have not tried any of these.

Monoamine oxidase inhibitors treat norepinephrine, serotonin, and dopamine. They consist of:Rasagiline (Azilect), Selegiline (Eldepryl, Zelapar), Isocarboxazid (Marplan), Phenelzine (Nardil), Tranylcypromine (Parnate). I have not tried any of these.

Serotonin antagonist and reuptake inhibitor (SARIs) act by antagonizing your serotonin receptions and inhibiting the reuptake of serotonin, norepinephrine, and sometimes dopamine. They include:Etoperidone (Axiomin, Etonin), Lorpiprazole (Normarex), Lubazodone, Mepiprazole (Psigodal), Nefazodone (Serzone, Nefadar), Trazodone (Desyrel). I have only tried Trazadone out of all of these. I didn’t really like it. It was prescribed for several things, one being sleep. And I felt like no matter how much I slept, I still felt sedated after waking up. I also showed no improvement mentally or emotionally, so my psychiatrist took me off of it.

Norepinephrine-dopamine reuptake inhibitors (NDRIs) target both norepinephrine and dopamine both by blocking the transporters for both, and instead increasing the chemicals in the brain for both. They consist of: Amineptine (Survector, Maneon, Directim), Bupropion, (Wellbutrin), Dexmethylphenidate (Focalin), Difemetorext (Cleofil), Ethylphenditate, Lefetamine (Santenol), Methylphenidate (Ritalin, Concerta, Meeadate, Methylin, Rubifen, Stimdate). I am currently on Wellbutrin, and have been since I was about 15 or 16. I really like it. I feel my energy boost throughout the day, especially since adding the Latuda. I feel like it keeps me pretty level. I do wish I could go up, from that level, if that makes sense. But other than that, I like the way it works.

The 3 most common families of antianxiety medications are:Clonazepam (Klonopin), Alprazolam (Niravam, Xanax), Lorazepam, (Ativan). I have only tried Lorazepam out of the 3, and so far I like it. I only take it when needed. It’s a tranquilizer, so low dosages are recommended. It makes me a little sleepy, depending on the level of my anxiety before I took it. I’ve taken it and haven’t felt tired at all on the days when my anxiety is the worst, so it just kind of depends. 

The 4 common families of stimulants (these increase alertness, attention, energy, and elevate blood pressure, heart rate, and respiration) are:Methylphenidate (Aptensio, Concerta, Metadate, Methylin, Quillichew, Quillivant, Ritalin), Amphetamine (Eveko, Dyanavel, Adzenys. When combined with dextroamphetamine, the brand name is known as Adderall), Dextroamphetamine (Dexampex, Dexedrine, DextroStat, Ferndex, LiquADD, ProCentra), Lisdexamfetamine Dimesylate (Vyvanse). I have not tried any of these medications.

The antipsychotic family is broad. The older or “first generation” antipsychotic medications are also called conventional “typical” antipsychotics or “neuroleptics.” The four families of the first generation antipsychotics are:Chlorpromazine (Promapar, Thorazine), Haloperidol (Haldol), Perphenazine (Trilafon, Duo-Vil, Etrafon, Triavil), Fluphenazine (Permitil, Prolixin). I have not tried any of these.

The newer or “second generation” medications include:Risperidone (Risperdal), Olanzapine (Symbyax), Quetiapine (Seroquel), Ziprasidone (Geodon), Aripiprazole (Abilify), Paliperidone (Invega), Lurasidone (Latuda). I actually took Seroquel for about 5 years and had fantastic results. It’s a sedative, and a heavy one at that. We used it to treat several things, and one of them was sleep. The best time during my recovery was while I was on Seroquel (I was also on Wellbutrin at the same time and the combination worked so well). But just like any other mental health medication, it stopped working after a while. I have awful results on Abilify. It’s supposed to give you energy, like an “upper,” but for some reason I reacted the complete opposite and would fall asleep standing up, sitting down, and couldn’t physically hold my body up. I’ve only been taking Latuda for about 3 weeks and so far I really like it. It’s been working well with my Wellbutrin and Mirtazapine. 

The 3 common families of mood stabilizers, which are used to treat bipolar, mood swings associated with other mental disorders, and in some cases, to augment the effect of other medications used to treat depression are:Carbamazepine (Carbatrol, Epitol, Equetro, Tegretol, Teril), Lamotrigine (Lamictal), Oxcarbazepine (Trileptal). I have not tried any of these.

Some mood stabilizers are sometimes classified as antipsychotic drugs, and some antipsychotic drugs are sometimes classified as mood stabilizers.

All of these probably only make up about half of the medications available. There are also medications that I have taken that I have not listed, just because they are not very common, nor is their classification or family. I have always been a firm believer in the fact that medications work for the right people. Do your research. I have never been able to stress that enough. Know what it is you’re taking and why you’re taking it. Look up its science and how the medication works inside of your body and brain. Talk with a mental health professional, if you don’t already have one. I do not recommend seeing only a medical doctor. If you would like more details on any of the things that I listed, feel free to ask and I can answer them as best as I can! Good luck!