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amazingmaeve · 2 years ago

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PERFECT FAMILY

homelander x fem!reader (+ryan)

summary — Homelander wants to find the perfect mother for ryan since the incident with becca happened. just someone to take of ryan when he’s out or when he’s working. just a maternal for ryan. maybe someone to comfort him as well and that’s where he finds you.

warnings — dark fic, Homelander being a warning in itself, stalking, kidnapping, kinda Stockholm (it’s dark), violence, blood, angst, a bit of fluff

word count —

authors note — I legit just had this idea when I was reading @noforkingclue s fic. so go read that one because it’s amazing

homelander masterlist | the boys masterlist

“Now I know Ryan, no one can replace your mom, your mom is your mom,” Homelander stated as looked down at his son who stood next to him. “But I need someone, maternal, to take care of you when I’m away, even for your stability and mine,” He says as Ryan looked somewhat hopeful. “Now if you don’t want me to find you a new mom I won’t it’s your choice son,” He says putting his hand on his shoulder.

Ryan looked down thinking about it, he loved his mom, more than anything and she was gone, because of him. But if he could have someone who could love him at least half the way she did he would love that. Someone to just care for him like a mother can.

It could be a second chance for him. Even if he knew she wasn’t his real mom, she could love him like one. Treat him like one and he wanted that choice, someone other than Homelander to be a parent.

“Now what do you think buddy,” Homelander questions after a few minutes of silence.

“I’d like that a lot actually.”

“Me too buddy.”

“I’ve been hired by the Homelander to teach his son,” You question with a bewildered expression on your face. You stared at the woman sitting in front of you.

Yes you were a teacher but the kids you usually taught went to the school you were in at this moment. But no one could really blame your shock, you were just a normal teacher at a normal school who taught normal kids. This was on a whole different playing field.

Of course you’ve heard about Homelanders son, everyone on planet earth has probably heard about him. Ryan was his name you learned. Of course you felt a great deal of sadness for the young boy, it seemed like he didn’t have a mother and his father was a little on the crazy side from what you’ve heard. But could you really handle this?

This boy was the strongest kid in the world, and his dad was the strongest man in the world.

Anyone would be nervous to even think about accepting this offer. You were leaning more on the yes side, due to the fact that they were going to pay you a lot of money and since a teachers salary wasn’t much you didn’t really have a choice.

But some other reason inside you felt bad for Ryan, you wanted to help every kid that needed it, even if he was the strongest supe kid. You were also kind of afraid to say no to Homelander, you’ve read stories about what happened to people who said no to him and it made something burn inside of your stomach and your whole body tense up in fear.

“So what do you say, Miss. Y/L/N,” The woman in front of you asked as you looked around at the class from.

“I’ll take it,” You accepted tentatively.

And before you even knew it you signed your life away that moment and you probably could not do anything to reverse it in any way.

Today was your first day to teach Ryan and your first day actually meeting him in fact. You hadn’t even met Homelander who was his father, it seemed like if you were going to teach his son he would’ve at least wanted to call you.

But nope. Nothing. Not even an email.

You shook off those worries and just tried to put a smile on. You didn’t want to worry Ryan and wanted to help him and his journey on learning

Taking a look at yourself in the mirror you put your hair in a ponytail before shaking your hair and pulling the hair tie out and shaking your head and running your fingers through your hair trying to sort it out. You decided that having your hair down was best for you. You dusted off the pencil skirt you were wearing and tried to straighten the lavender blouse you had on. You didn’t even know why you were caring about what you looked like this was going to be just like teaching the kids at the school. But just one on one.

But you knew the reason why you were so nervous. Homelander, his father. You didn’t want to have one single thing wrong with you that would tick him off and him deciding to kill you right there. You were pretty sure that Homelander was a fickle guy due to who he was and to the public. But you hoped that his son being there would stop him from doing anything rash but you didn’t put anything past him.

“Fuck it I look fine,” You whispered to yourself in the mirror before grabbing you bag that had everything you needed in it.

Getting in the car you put the address into your phone and started driving to Homelanders place. Which you had to agree was weird. You thought he lived at Vought and his son would live there as well but no from the looks of it and where you were driving it looked like he had a house in a suburban neighborhood.

The house looked just like any house on a family sitcom. It wasn’t too big, or too small, it was normal. That ticked a red flag in your head because there wasn’t anything normal about Homelander. You were pretty sure he had people dressing him and cooking for him every night and he was living here in this normal house.

You had this horrible feeling in your stomach but you pushed those feelings out as you sat in your car for a few minutes before exiting the house and walking up to the door where you froze for another few minutes. You took a deep breath before pressing your button to the doorbell.

Rubbing your wrist, you tried calming your nerves but it wasn’t working. You had every right to be nervous. This man was the most powerful man in the world and by default the most dangerous man in the world. You didn’t want to do anything to tick him off.

He seemed very high maintenance and wanted everything to be perfect so it confused you why he asked for you to teach his son. You weren’t the smartest teacher out there, hell you weren’t even the smartest person in the school you taught. The question kept running through your brain as you stared at the door waiting.

Suddenly the door opened to reveal the man himself. Homelander. Standing there in his suit with that same smile plastered on his face as he saw you. Luckily he didn’t seem angry so maybe luck was on your side today.

“Ms. Y/L/N I was worried you weren’t going to show up,” Homelander says and you look at him confused. You didn’t think you were late.

“Oh I’m sorry sir I didn’t realize I was late,” You say taking a look at your phone that you pulled from your pocket and you were only a few minutes late. Well you weren’t wrong about the high maintenance.

“It’s only a few minutes as long as you don’t make a habit out of it,” Homelander waved it off as he opened the door wider so you could walk in. You didn’t know what he meant by that. Were you seriously going to have to be here on time every fucking day.

Walking in the house it seemed brand new which seemed about right, since you thought that Homelander lived in the Vought tower. He must’ve just bought it for him and his son, and you were a bit curious about Ryan's mother and where she was. Nothing in the news stated anything about her and that made a child run up your spine about the possibilities of what could’ve happened to her.

Back on the topic of the house. It was perfectly clean and you wondered if a kid even lived in this house. You’ve been around kids all ages and they weren’t the cleanest so to say you were kind of dumbfounded at this.

“Ryan come to the kitchen please,” Homelander called out as the two of you stepped in the kitchen. You put your bag on the table looking at him to make sure you weren’t angering him at all. “He’ll be down here in a second, he’s been waiting for this all week, jittering like fucking cokehead,” He said leaning against the kitchen counter.

The language threw you off. You didn’t take Homelander for someone who swore at all and you shook off the shock and gave him a smile.

“Well that’s good, you don’t see it that often, kids wanting to learn,” You say, wringing your fingers in front of your stomach, the pit in your stomach was still there but it was shrinking as the conversation kept going.

“That’s all what I’m about, wanting Ryan to get a good education so that he can be successful in life, that’s all I’ve ever wanted,” Homelander told you, putting his hands behind his back. “…..And to be honest he wasn’t the only one looking forward to this meeting,” He gave you another smile showing off his pearly whites.

“Oh that’s a nice thing to hear as well,” You say bashfully, giving a smile.

He wasn’t lying when he said he'd been waiting all this time for you to show up. Ryan was wanting to see you as much as he was. It took them some time for them to pick you out from all the other teachers and you were perfect for him and Ryan. You were in your late 20s, no boyfriend, no kids, no family you talk to, and not many friends, or at least he thought that. You don’t go out much. And to top it off you had that maternal side of you, working in a school, you helped kids all the time and knew exactly what they wanted. It also helped for Homelander that you were an attractive woman.

Homelander knew that it was going to take some convincing to get Ryan on board for this but surprisingly Ryan was genuinely excited to meet you, for you to take care of both of them. Homelander need that, someone to help him with this and everything, someone he could come to and someone who would caress his cheek and run her fingers through his hair. Someone who would hug him and let him cuddle against her chest. Someone to just coddle him.

Ryan needs a mother to essentially do that as well, someone who could help him when he’s sad or mad or just confused. Homelander wasn’t good at that stuff so needed someone. Someone that could be at their beck and call. Someone who could help Ryan with school and read him bedtime stories so that he could fall asleep. Or when he had a nightmare and needed someone to talk to.

You were that person. You were that perfect person for them. It would just take some time and convincing.

Ryan came running down the stairs as you said that sentence and ran up to stand in front of his dad who put his hand on his shoulders as you gave both of them a soft smile.

“Hey Ryan it’s nice to meet you,” You say, holding your hand out for him to shake.

You were expecting the boy to shake your hand but he ignored your hand and wrapped his arms around your body giving you a hug. You were a bit gobsmacked at this. No kid has ever been that affectionate. But you did reciprocate the hug not wanting to upset him. He was just a kid.

“Told you he has been waiting for this,” Homelander says, giving you a smug smile this time as you caress the back of the kid's head.

“Sorry just a bit shocked no kids ever acted like this,” You say as Ryan still had his head buried in your stomach.

“It’s nice to meet you as well,” Ryan muttered into your stomach as it was muffled by the fabric of your blouse.

“Ok come on Ryan she’s here for a reason,” Homelander intervened putting his hands back on his shoulders beginning to tug him back but Ryan resisted as his arms stayed locked around you muttering a no into your stomach.

Surprisingly you weren’t scared, he wasn’t hugging you tightly and you weren’t a psychologist but it seemed like he had some attachment issues but you didn’t want to judge too soon. You weren’t privy to his background and didn’t want to make him feel bad for this. To be honest, the maternal side of you was melting from this, wanting to comfort the boy as he stood hugging you.

Meanwhile Homelander was in awe. It didn’t even take you 5 minutes for you to break. You were so perfect for the both of them that made a pang in his heart as he watched you hug Ryan. Although he also couldn’t help a pang of jealousy coursing through him watching you comfort his son and deep down wished it was him you were comforting.

Mentally shaking his head. The time will come, he thought.

“Ryan come on,” Homelander says, giving another tug on the boy he could use his whole strength but he didn't want to hurt Ryan or you for that matter. But he didn’t budge.

You put your hand on top of Homelanders' gloved one trying to reassure him that this was okay. Deep down you this would cause some problems in the future but you didn’t honestly give two fucks at the moment. Homelander tensed as you did that, not expecting but loving it.

“Hey Ryan, why don’t you let go of me,” You whispered, running our fingers through his hair.

“Don’t want you to leave,” Ryan muttered into your stomach again as a confused expression came across your face. You weren’t even here for two minutes and he was worried you were gonna leave. Yeah you knew there was something wrong, this boy was getting attached to your hip and you knew deep down that something must’ve happened to his mother, for him to be attached this much.

“I’m not gonna leave, not yet,” You muttered as you felt him move a bit against your stomach. “I promise and when I do leave, I’ll be coming back tomorrow don’t worry,” You tried reassuring the boy and was a little worried when he gave you a little squeeze at the mention of leaving. But eventually he let up on the hugging.

“Promise,” Ryan says looking up at you.

“Promise, even ask your dad I’m pretty sure if I don’t show up, he’ll do something about it,” You say waving your hand at Homelander.

“Don’t worry buddy I promise you she’s going to be coming here every day,” Homelander promised, giving his shoulders a squeeze. You didn’t want to intervene and say you wouldn’t be coming here on the weekends.

“Okay,” Ryan says, giving you a smile, removing his arms from around you and moving to sit at the kitchen table, where your stuff was.

“Okay buddy lets get started….”

For the next few weeks, everything was going amazing. Ryan was amazing at the stuff you were teaching him and you were proud that he was this smart bright kid. But he was getting more and more attached to you.

To the point that you had to stay a few hours extra, past your planned time and coming over on the weekends as well. Homelander didn’t stop it, he loved it and you knew it but you didn’t know why at the moment. Luckily you didn’t have many friends so you could spend time helping this kid. Plus you liked spending time with both of them and to be honest you were beginning to like coming here everyday, being greeted by Homelander and teaching Ryan. Homelander usually stayed in watching the both of you and you paid no mind, so you didn’t see the longing look in his eyes as you taught his son math.

On his side he was beginning to lose patience and wanted you with the both of them at all times and considered it as he watched over you at nights. He could easily do it. You left your window locked since you lived on an apartment building, you didn’t have any security system, hell you didn’t even own a fucking dog. Honestly he thought your nativity was adorable, you needed someone like him to protect you. He just couldn’t wait to have you in his arms so you could take care of him and Ryan.

You on the other hand were trying to gather up the courage to ask Homelander about what happened to Ryan's mom since his attachment to you became bigger and bigger. It was also quite worrying because Homelanders' attachment was becoming bigger and bigger as well. He was more subtle at least.

Although you weren’t scared of him or Ryan. They hadn’t done anything to indicate that you should be scared. So at the moment you just stayed in your schedule as the times staying with Ryan increased more and more.

On this particular Friday everything was normal as you came to the house but Homelander left in the middle of your session. Muttering something about work. That worried you, you didn’t know what’s going on, and how long you should stay here with Ryan but you tried to brush off the worrying not wanting to worry the boy out.

By the time it hit 6 o’clock you were still worried about Homelander and where he was. But Ryan didn’t know anything which helped you, he didn’t need to worry about his dad.

“I’m hungry,” Ryan stated as the two of you sat and watched tv.

The session had ended an hour ago and the two of you decided to watch tv so that you could help your nerves and Ryan would get a break from school work. But as soon as the tv started the both of you started talking and it felt so normal talking to this boy as though he was a part of your life.

“Oh I could make you something to eat,” You say getting off the couch and he followed you as you entered the kitchen again moving around so that you were in the kitchen as Ryan sat on the chairs that were in front of the kitchen counter. “What do you want,” You question, giving him a smile.

“Mac and Cheese,” He answered with a smile of his own, after some pondering.

You were quite nervous, you didn’t know if Homelander stocked any food here since you barely ate here and Ryan only ate snacks. But when you opened the fridge and cabnits everything was there and you let out a sigh of relief as you started the dinner and began to talk to Ryan casually.

“So Ryan who usually does the cooking here,” You question as you got the noodles ready on the stove, boiling at the point you wanted them.

“Well dad usually gets a chef here since he doesn’t know how to cook and the chef only comes when dads here,” Ryan answered as he watched you cooking. He began to think of his mom and became sad. He sometimes has thoughts about her and he doesn’t like it.

“Hey Ryan what’s wrong,” You asked worriedly, putting your hands on his and rubbing the back of his hands with your thumb for comfort.

“Nothing,” He sniffed, not wanting to cry in front of you. Homelander told him showing his emotions was weak and he especially should do that in front of you as that would make him appear weak.

“Come on bud you can tell me,” You cooed, giving his arm a squeeze. “You don’t have to hide your feelings in front of me Ryan,” You reassured him.

“It’s just my mom,” He muttered as a tear slid down his cheek and you gave him a look of sympathy as you wiped the tear from his cheek giving his forehead a kiss. You definitely knew something went down with his mom.

“That’s fine thinking about your parents especially ones you don’t see anymore can make you sad and make you want to cry and you should, crying isn’t bad Ryan it's good that you can. It shows that you are strong,” You told him in a soft tone,

“But dad said crying in front of people makes you seem weaker,” Ryan says, looking at you with wet cheeks.

Walking around the counter and wrapping your arms around him and he immediately receives it, tightly hugging you and definitely not hugging at his full strength. You ran your hand down his back, comforting him as he sobbed into your chest. You had a feeling Homelander had these values as he seemed like one of those men. You weren’t mad as you know these were taught to him but you were going to have to talk to him about it. Because it wasn’t good for Ryan to hide his emotions especially from his dad.

“Don’t worry Ryan, everything's going to be fine,” You mutter. “I’ll talk to him, don't worry,” You tell him. “And as for your mom she’s always going to be there for you she’s going to be all around you especially in here,” You say putting your hand on his head.

You felt Ryan nodd into your chest as he was still sitting in the chair and you were standing and leaning down. It was uncomfortable but it didn’t matter at the moment.

“Okay,” You say, pulling him away from your chest. “Now let’s get your food ready so you can fill your tummy,” You say, giving him a chipper smile wanting to change the subject. He nodded as he wiped his tears and you walked around the kitchen counter and checked on the noodles.

The rest of the night was spent eating dinner and talking to Ryan about multiple things as his moods got more and more happier and you didn’t really care that Homelander was gone now. You were having an amazing time with Ryan and you definitely weren’t going to leave him all alone here with no one around.

After dinner the both of you sat on the couch again and started to watch tv again and Ryan eventually ended up with his head in your lap as you watched tv. He eventually fell asleep a few minutes after he laid down on your thighs. You began to run your fingers through his hair as you soothed him into sleep. You didn’t want to move him to his bed as that would wake him and you didn’t have the heart to do that at the moment so you just kept caressing and watching the tv waiting for Homelanders arrival.

When Homelander eventually came home it was around midnight and you were still up and to be honest he was surprised that stuck around but he knew that you cared for Ryan and that made his chest fill up with warmth especially when he watched you with Ryan’s head in your lap. God he wanted you so bad but he needs to practice patience.

“Hey Y/N,” Homelander greeted you at the couch and gave you a smile.

“Hey Homelander,” You greeted him with a tight smile. After calling him sir for so many times he told you to call him Homelander and you caved.

“Sorry I made you stay so late. I had an emergency at Vought and had to do some work,” Homelander apologized as he tightened his fist behind his back. He was initially sorry but now he was happy because he could witness you helping his son.

“It’s fine me and Ryan had fun,” You say as you stop moving your hand. “Speaking of him, we should get him to bed it is midnight,” You say.

Homelander melted at the words you said. We. We should get him to bed. As if you were already a family and it made him so happy that you may be coming around to this and you may want this as well.

He nodded and the two of you successfully got Ryan to bed without waking him and you tucked him into his covers and gave him a kiss on the forehead and left the room to greet Homelander in the hall who still had this smile on his face. But you tried to keep your mind on the target, you wanted to talk to him about Ryan.

“You got any wine,” You asked with a tired tone and you were tired but you needed some relaxation.

Homelander chuckled and gave you a curt nod and even though he didn’t drink he knew you had the occasional wine here and there.

Once you got the wine you chugged it down in one instance and Homelander knew he was going to have to do something about that once he got you under the roof. Ryan didn’t need a drunk for a mother and even though you don’t do it often, he knows how addictions work.

“I also need to talk to you about something,” You say, wiping your mouth after chugging the wine like it was your last drink.

“Ask away,” Homelander says, pointing his hand at you, giving you the floor.

“Ryan told me something today that worried me and I wanted to talk to you about it,” You say and Homelander raised an eyebrow at the mention of his son. “He said you didn’t like it when he cried in front of him and other people and I know I’m not his mother or guardian in any way but I know what makes kids turn into angry adults and this is one of the reasons why boys turn into angry men,” You say sternly. “I know you’re his dad and I would normally not even bring this up but I just want to help him and you for a matter of fact and if you want to fire me that’s fine I just wanted to give you a piece of advice,” You say and immediately take a deep breath from all the words you just said.

Homelander looked at you flabbergasted at what you had told him. He didn’t think you had the guts to stand up to him and honestly seeing you angry was definitely a turn on for him. Even though he does think these values, if he wants you to even think about staying with him once he does get you under this roof he has to try it with you. He needs to take your advice even if he doesn’t like it, and he knows once you become a more permanent figure in the house he’s going to need some of your opinions.

“I know I know,” Homelander runs his glove hands over his face feeling out of energy. “I honestly didn’t think about it when I said it just came out,” He mutters looking down at the floor feeling kind of ashamed as though you were disappointed in him and he would hate you being disappointed in him.

“Hey it’s okay I know these things are taught and I’m glad you see these things,” You say reassuring him, also happy he didn’t burn you alive. You cautiously bring your hand to his cheek and begin to rub your thumb along his cheek bone trying to comfort him.

Luckily for your life it seemed like he enjoyed it as he leaned into your hand and slowly closed his eyes at the comfort of your hand. You felt amazing and he immediately preened under your touch and by the sound of your heart beating a little faster he knew you liked it as well.

“You can stay the night if you want since it’s so late,” Homelander whispers, turning his head, giving your palm a kiss, making your whole body heat up under his lips.

“That’s nice of you and I’ll take you up on that offer,” You say, giving him a genuine smile. “But only if you are comfortable with that I would hate to make you or Ryan uncomfortable,” You say fiddling with your wine glass.

“You don’t have to worry about that,” Homelander laughs. “Ryan would love to have you here as well as I so don’t worry about our comfort,” He says, finding it cute that you were so worried about his and Ryan's comfort, it also filled his whole body with happiness.

“It’s probably a good idea that I stay here, you have no idea what kind of creeps are out there at this time at night and I wouldn’t want to take a chance with that,” You say, knowing what would probably happen if you did leave and you didn’t like the ending of that story.

“I’ll show you to the guest room,” Homelander states as he stands up and starts walking towards the stairs expecting you to follow him. Expectedly you do as he thinks and follow him up the stairs.

“So anything new interesting going on in your life,” Homelander questions once you reach the top of the stairs.

“Eh not much I don’t go out much, definitely not as much as the people in my age group, that probably explains why I don’t have many friends,” You nervously laugh shaking your head. It’s true you don’t have many friends since you don’t live your life that exciting.

“I get what you're saying, I didn't have many friends when I was younger,” Homelander lies partially. He didn’t have any friends but that’s because Vought was keeping him as a fucking lab rat and he didn’t have any chances to make any friends.

“It’s probably due to my fear of making connections with people, too afraid to let them in,” You say as the both of you trail across the carpet to the guest room, keeping your voices down for Ryan. He gives you a weird look at what you just said and to be honest you would as well. “That’s what my therapist says at least,” You chuckle running your hands over your face as you feel fatigue creep inside your bones.

Homelander makes an ‘ohhh’ face but internally he knew he would have to do something about that. You didn’t need a therapist, especially now since you have him in your life. All that therapist would do is try to keep you away from him and that’s just not what he needs at the moment. He just needs you with him and Ryan, if he had that it would be happiness that he’s wished for, for his entire life.

“Anyways here’s the room, there’s a shower in there and some extra clothes for you to sleep in,” Homelander opens the door as he gives you a look over knowing you couldn't sleep in your clothes.

“Thanks again,” You say, trying not to show how confused you were by the fact he has extra clothes here.

“I’ll be off now, I’ll see you in the morning,” Homelander says his goodbyes, giving you a wave and strolling off to his room but not before you could say anything.

“Goodnight Homelander,” You say.

“John,” He says, keeping his back towards you.

“Huh,” You turn around not understanding what he meant.

“My name it’s John,” He whispers, hoping you heard it and by the extra skip in your heartbeat you did.

“Goodnight John,” You whispered.

“Goodnight.”

After the two of you bid your good nights you both made your way to your respective rooms where the both of you were doing totally different things.

You immediately took off your clothes and made your way to the shower and you were shocked nonetheless seeing a plethora of shampoos and body washes. You tried not to be freaked out that it was the same ones you use, It’s probably a coincidence a lot of people use this you thought to yourself before turning on the shower and making it hot. It was specifically cold tonight and you just wanted to relax.

Once you enter the hot shower your body immediately relaxes as the hot water drips down your body and you hum slowly loving the comfort from this. After a few minutes of just standing there under the water you started to bathe yourself, starting with your hair.

Homelander on the other hand had other plans for what he was doing. He sat his body down on the perfectly neat bad that he almost never sleeps in. Compound V does that to you. He has his body facing towards the room you're sleeping in. He honestly had to have so much self control on not following you in there when he wanted to so badly. With his hands on his knees he watches you undress and get in the shower.

It’s not like it’s something he hasn’t seen before, he goes to your apartment every night after Ryan goes to sleep just watching you do your mundane task. Obviously he got hard from all of this, especially when you took your clothes off or when you touched yourself to relieve stress.

His eyes clothes when you start humming feeling his body start to lock in comfort that he just wishes he could lay down on your lap whilst you coddle him. To comfort him and give him praise. But he knows you're warming up to him as he notices every time you come over you’re wearing some that accentuates your chest so that he would always notice. Your body temperature always rises when he’s around and your heart rate spikes when he’s standing next to you and he loves it. He just loves it so much and he knows how it feels since he feels the same way when he’es around you.

Once you get out of the show you wrap a towel around your body and start to dry yourself and make your way into the room and put on some underwear and an oversized shirt. You don’t even want to know where he got this shit from. You’re just so tired that once your head immediately hits the pillow you're out like a light. But some of it was due to the wine you have to admit.

After about an hour into your sleep Homelander makes his way into your room and he knows you're asleep by the way you snore quietly into the pillow. He notices that you left the light on and he knows that you have the tv on at your home and he wonders if the dark scares you. He shakes those thoughts out of your head as he comes to stand next to the bed and brings his now ungloved hand to caress your cheek.

Luckily for him your body is facing him so he has more leeway. His thumb gently strokes your cheekbone as you sleep and he’s noticed that you were a deep sleeper from the first time he’s entered your apartment. Homelander just loves everything about you even though he thinks humans are beneath him, you don’t count as one of those. You’re special.

Leaning down gently he presses his lips to your forehead. He makes an exit out of the room knowing the next time you sleep here it would be in his bed one way or the other.

The moment you wake up you go to the bathroom and brush your teeth before looking through the drawers and finding that there were some jeans and you immediately thanked god as you put them on and made your way down the stairs knowing it was only 9 o’clock in the morning. Luckily you didn’t have to teach today which caused some stress to exit your body.

Your stomach was growling from hunger and you knew you had to eat something and while you were at it you could make something for John and Ryan as well to thank them for letting you stay here.

Once you got the pancakes ready someone in front of the kitchen counter said. “Hello,”

You jump and immediately turn around to see Homelander standing there with a grin etched onto his face as he watches you cook.

“God John you scared the absolute shit out of me,” You let out a deep breath as he gives you this warm look that makes your body heat up. You’ve always thought he was attractive but you can’t help the ways he makes your heart skip a beat.

“Sorry once you woke up, that woke me up and I came down here wondering what you were doing,” Homelander softly says and you give him a confused look. “Super hearing and a very light sleeper,” He says pointing to his eyes and you have a look of realization on your face.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you I just wanted to thank you for letting me stay here and what other way to thank you by making you and Ryan breakfast,” You rush out not wanting to make him mad but in reality nothing you did could ever make him mad at you.

“Don’t worry, it’s sweet that you thought of it and I know Ryan will love it, he usually wakes up around this time so, perfect timing,” Homelander says clapping his hands. “So how’d you sleep last night,” He questions.

“Amazing, the bed was so comfortable that I’m kinda upset that I have to sleep on my own mattress tonight,” You laugh as you take a bite out of the pancake.

Homelander subtly frowned that he forgot that you weren’t going to be here tonight and suddenly he felt his heart race at the thought of that. But on the other hand he was glad that you didn’t want to leave the house, it showed that you were comfortable around him and in his house. He was going to have to move the date of his plan soon because he was going crazy at the thought of you not being here for him or for Ryan.

“Well you’re more than welcome to stay another night, and it makes me happy to know that you feel comfortable here,” Homelander says.

“I just- I don’t know it’s just something about this place and about you and Ryan that makes this place so homey,” You tell him fiddling with your fingers.

“You know that makes me really happy to hear,” Homelander says with a chuckle, making you smile at him.

Suddenly you hear Ryan come running down the stairs and that makes you break out in a grin as he comes into the kitchen with a huge grin on your face.

“You’re still here,” Ryan says with happiness written all over his face alongside the huge smile on his lips. He comes up and wraps his tiny arms around your waist giving you a squeeze and you wince a little. When he usually hugs you, he’s gentle but sometimes he forgets his own strength and squeezes a bit too hard. But it never caused any long term damage and you could handle it since he was so happy to see you.

“Of course I am buddy I would never leave without saying goodbye to you,” You say leaning down and kissing his forehead while putting your arms around his shoulders giving him a squeeze too, not as hard as his but a squeeze nonetheless. “But I am going to have to go home soon you know that right,” You say not wanting to lead the poor kid on that you’re staying here forever.

“No I don’t want you to go,” Ryan sternly mumbled into your stomach as you felt his shoulders stiffen and you looked up and saw Homelander with a melancholy expression on his face and you frown in confusion.

“I know Ryan but you know you’ll see me soon, I’m not going to up and leave you forever,” You try to reassure him but giving his head a light caress.

“But why can’t you just stay here, it would be easier for you, and you wouldn’t have to drive here everyday and-and you wouldn’t be worried about the time,” Ryans words stumbled out of his mouth.

You didn’t know what to say to that, it was still obvious that Ryan wanted you here all the time and now it was bigger than the first day you met him and your heart started to race as the thought that you let this happen. You didn’t want to hurt Ryan, he’s such a sweet boy and you never want him to be sad but you can’t just break these boundaries. Even though deep down you know you’ve already broken a lot of boundaries.

“Ryan sweetie I know you don’t want me to leave but-,” You say but you were interrupted by Ryan.

“No don’t leave, please just don’t leave, dad make her stay,” Ryan says as he starts to cry into your stomach and you feel your throat start to dry up and your eyes begin to water.

His arms tightened a bit more and you held in a whimper not wanting to upset Ryan even more, you knew he didn’t want to hurt you so you just stood there and caressed his hair trying to remain calm.

“I know you’re upset Ryan and and you just- your dad can’t-,” You began to say again but this time you were interrupted by the man you were talking about and you were relieved at first but once the words came out of his mouth your heart rate increased.

“Okay I’ve had enough of this I didn’t want this to be today but it can’t go on like this anymore, you’re staying here and that’s final,” Homelander sternly said pointing this finger at you as you stood there agape at what he just said.

You could feel yourself stiffen and begin to sweat a bit as nervousness began to set and you swallowed as you tried to keep your calm but you were sure he could hear your heartbeat. Suddenly there was this knot in your stomach, the type of know that made you want to throw up and pass out, but with Ryan’s vice grip around you couldn’t even move.

“Homelander- John I can’t just stay here I don’t live here,” You rush out as you try to keep your breathing calm.

“Well know you do,” Homelander snapped. “I know this might be upsetting for you at first but soon you’ll love it here and I know you love it here when you come here everyday so why not just stay here,” He says trying to calm you down as he hears your heart increase and your breathing become more shallow.

“Because I don’t fucking live here John,” You snap giving him an angry look as Ryan nuzzles into your stomach and you can tell he’s starting more anxious due to the fighting but right now his father was being unreasonable.

“Hey you watch your language in front of my son,” Homelander snaps at and you swore you could see his glow red for a second and then you felt your stomach fall to your ass as your hands began to shake while you were caressing Ryan’s head.

You tried to say something but nothing came out as your breathing became more and more erratic as the reality of your situation began to flood your head. You felt a few tears roll down your face as you bit your lip trying to keep your sobs in. Breathing in and out you tried to calm yourself down but it wasn’t helping. When panic attacks usually happen to you, doing that usually helps but it’s not.

Homelander closed his eyes as he listened to your uneven breathing. This isn’t how he wanted to do this but, Ryan was freaking out and it was going to happen sooner or later so he just figured that why it not me now. He knew it would take time for you to settle but soon it would be like paradise for all three of you, he knew it.

“Okay Ryan bud,” Homelander came around the kitchen island to put his hand on Ryan’s other shoulder to get his attention as you looked up at him with fear in your eyes. “Why don’t go outside and play for a bit while me and Y/N talk okay,” He says, squeezing his shoulder.

“Why,” Ryan grumbled into your stomach and you closed your eyes as you felt Homelanders hand run down your arm.

“We just need to talk and situate everything,” Homelanders said. “Don’t worry she’s not leaving you can count on it,” He says as he gives you a look. Ryan doesn’t move and Homelander sighs. “Isn’t that right Y/N you’re not going to leave,” He says and Ryan looks up at you.

“Uh yeah,” You say as a tear trails down your cheek you put your hand on Ryan’s cheek. “Don’t worry about me, I'm staying,” You say with a tremble in your voice.

Ryan nods and gives you one last squeeze before running out. You rub your sides as you try to keep calm. You stand completely still as Homelander approaches you and puts his hands on your cheeks wiping the tears. You let out a little whimper not knowing what he was going to do.

“Don’t worry I’m not going to hurt you, I would never hurt you,” Homelander says at least not on purpose he thinks. “I know this must be hard to deal with but trust me when everything falls into place you are going to LOVE it, you won’t have to worry about anything any more,” He says giving you a pleading look.

“Homelander-Homelander-,” You stutter trying to begin your sentence but you were interrupted again by him.

“Don’t call me that, call me John,” Homelander says with annoyance coming across his features.

“John,” You begin to say. “I know it must be hard being a single dad but I-I can’t stay here,” You tremble underneath his hands as he looks at you in what you could describe as disappointment.

“Yes you can, you can stay here and take care of Ryan and take care of me, you can quit your job, you won’t have to worry about having to pay bills anymore, or about how you’re gonna eat with what money you have. You won’t have to worry about the guy who keeps fucking harassing everytime you leave your apartment. You just won’t have to worry,” Homelanders rants and your face looks as if you’ve seen a ghost. “I love you,” He whispers as he

You’ve never told him about your money problems. You never told him about your neighbor Ted who keeps flirting with you and groping you, and that information makes you stare up at him in shock. But on the other hand it feels nice to have someone wanting to take care of you, to care about you, to make sure you’re okay. Someone just to love you. You haven't been in a relationship in such a longtime that this is making you almost want to smile up at him.

“John I-I If you felt this way about me this isn’t how you go about it, you ask me on a date and then we work up to it,” You say, hesitantly raising your hand and putting your hand on his cheek giving it a gentle caress.

“I knew you weren’t going to like this but it’s a part of the risk, I need you here, and I know in due time you'll realize how right I am,” Homelander whispers as his lips hover over yours.

“I-I what about my stuff? What about my life?,” You say as the panic starts to come back.

“Don’t worry I’ll go and get it and you’ll feel like you’re just at home,” Homelander says before giving you a short peck on the lips. “Now,” He claps. “That's settled, I can finally relax and eat those pancakes that you made,” He says before sitting down.

You give him a wary look as he gives you a wink before delving into the food.

It’s been a few days since the whole Homelander kept you here and you were in denial for a bit. You thought he would send you home and that this whole thing was a prank and you could go on with your normal life.

But reality sunk in when Homelander moved your stuff into the room you slept in. You cried yourself to sleep that night not knowing what you were going to do. But you were woken up to Ryan shaking you and going on and on about how happy he was that you were here.

You didn’t want to admit it but it made you happy that Ryan was so happy to have you here but you wanted to keep a hold of your sanity, not wanting to fall into the trap. But you knew that you were going to give in, it was just a matter of time and you also knew that you didn’t mind it.

The past few days though Homelander has barely been at the house making you wonder if you could actually get away with packing and leaving. You could just run but it didn’t matter anymore, he would find you. No matter what. How could you run from him, he probably had eyes on you this whole time. You didn’t want to be on the reciprocating end of his anger so you just decided to stay put.

Another reason was Ryan. You didn’t want to leave him alone. You didn’t want him to feel abandoned by you, he’s already been through so much and you did want to help him and in the end you just decided that you would suck it up for Ryan. You would do this for him.

And he was so happy every day when he woke up he came to your room and climbed into your bed whilst resting his head on your chest. The two of you talked like it was just a normal day and you wanted it to stay like that.

But while Homelander was gone, you found yourself missing him, maybe this was Stockholm settling in but your heart was starting to ache for him. You wanted to feel his touch and feel his love, you couldn't keep that from him, he would just hear your heartbeat.

On the fifth night you were sitting on the couch with a glass of wine as you watched tv. You just put Ryan to bed a few hours ago and you wanted to catch up on some of the tv shows you watched.

Suddenly a whoosh made you jump a little and turn around to see Homelander standing there with a look of sadness on his face. His shoulders were slumped as he looked at you and it made you want to coo at him and ask what’s the matter.

“John, where’ve you been,” You say softly as he shakes his head softly and feels his heart race at the thought of you being worried.

“You’re not mad at me…. Anymore?” Homelander questions with a sullen tone and with a little pout on his lips that almost made your lips quick in a smirk but decided against it just in case that would make him angry.

“John you have to understand why I’m mad, you’d be angry if you were in my position, hell you’d probably set the house on fire if you were in my position,” You say with a tiny chuckle.

“I just don’t want to make you angry at me, I did what I did for my son and…. For you,” Homelander whispers as rounds the couch you were sitting on and points at the seat next to it subtly asking you if he could sit.

You nod and he sits next you and his body stiffens as he does not know what to do. You notice his saddened look and you feel your heart skip a beat at that.

“C’mere,” You sigh, opening your arms and the two of you lay down on the couch with Homelanders neck nuzzled into your neck and you running your fingers through his hair and he lets out a sigh of relief.

Meanwhile your other hand carefully caresses down his back trying to make him more happy and as you place a kiss on his forehead, you can feel him smile into your neck making your heart race.

His hands carefully wrap around your waist as he minds his strength while hugging you. This is heaven to him. This is what makes him happy.

As you keep running your fingers through his hair, he rubs his nose against your clavicle and gives you a few kisses there that makes a shiver run down your spine and you don’t want him to notice but he does and he gives your hip a squeeze. He knows you don’t want to admit it deep down that you like it but he can feel that you do. You love it.

“I’m glad we’re finally making progress,” Homelander whispers into your ear giving you a kiss right below it and you shake your head and chortle. “You’ll love it soon enough.”

“I just know it.”

And deep down he was right and you knew that.

#homelander #homelander x reader #homelander x oc #homelander x y/n #homelander x you #homelander imagine #homelander headcanons #homelander smut #ryan butcher #the boys x reader #the boys x oc #the boys x you #the boys x y/n #the boys smut #the boys imagine #the boys headcanons #the boys

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ethereal-night-fairy · 6 months ago

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Silver Tongues, like Bullets

Chapter 4

Werewolf!141 x Female Reader

Safe to say you aren't adjusting well to being kidnapped. With your anger at a all time high, names are being called and things are being thrown. Patience is running thin with the men, what lengths would they go to to set you straight?

Warnings: MDNI, violation of privacy, gay sex, cock stroking, masturbation, unconsentual nude viewing, dark themes, manipulation, forced proximity, reader comes from a religious household, childhood trauma, abusive parents, talks of self harm, description of self harm, violent behaviour from you, shouting, crying, name calling, mental breakdown, non-con touching, threats of punishment, You get spanked once in this chapter, sorry if I missed any.

Silver Tongues Like Bullets Masterlist

Words: 7k

-28/11/2023

There were vile people in the world. Simon knew that. His pack knew that. You probably knew that. It was an obvious fact many people tended to ignore for their own convenience.

He witnessed that violence first hand as a boy and then again as a soldier. There were people in this world who'd exploit anyone for their own selfish gain. God awful people who'd do it to their own children. People who didn't deserve to have children in the first place. People like your parents.

He's heard you mumbling in your sleep at the cabin and a couple times here when you managed to fall asleep. It was often the same sentences repeated over and over again. ‘Need to get them out’ ‘are they safe?’ ‘my poor babies’. Your ‘babies’ here probably refer to your siblings if Ghost isn't mistaken. He couldn't find any evidence of you having children of your own. But seeing as it was you managing the majority of the childcare at home spoke volumes as to how you're treated by your parents. You had a lot of responsibilities starting from grocery shopping and food management down to school meetings and pickups. God knows what your parents did while you did their job for them. Unfortunately for Ghost he did know.

Ghost didn't consider himself a good person not by a long shot but looking at the information he pulled on your parents had his sanity slipping. He'd have strangled them both if he was given the chance.

But a digital trail of incriminating evidence would have to do. The worst punishment for a narcissist is exposing their lies and damaging their reputation. Digital trails can be quite damning if put in the wrong hands. Good thing they found their way to him. This would scratch his inch for blood. All he had to do was press send and their lives would come crumbling down. And that's exactly what he did. This would definitely help move the investigation about you along. The town already thought you committed suicide because of your parents. This story was a scandal within itself. Especially since your parents were aid workers employed by the church.

He did feel bad about your younger siblings though. Poor souls were sent to live with a relative for the time being. God knows what they're feeling right now being put in this difficult situation.

Your aunt seemed like a decent woman though, strangely enough you resemble her more than you do your mother and father. Gaz using his connections in the police force made sure she was someone that would keep the kids safe. She'd treat your brothers and sister better than your parents ever did. At least something good came out of this whole incident.

Ghost glances at his watch, it was late. He should be in bed with the rest of his pack and the newest addition to this family of his. It was a shame Gaz and Soap had already called dibs on the floor beside you. Not that you wanted them there.

You're much feistier than any of them anticipated. They couldn't really tell at the cabin because of how often they had to drug you. But Ghost quite enjoyed teasing you. Especially when you bit back at his remarks. It stirred a playful attitude in him that he hadn't experienced in a while. Not to say Johnny and Gaz weren't playful, but it was a boyish kind of playfulness with them.

This was different. He knew you were harmless which made it all the more fun when you tried fighting. It was a losing battle from the start yet you continued your struggle. It was endearing in the sort of way when a bunny runs amuck. He’ll enjoy making you all sweet and pliant in his hands. But that was a problem for another day. For now he'd enjoy the little moments he has with you. If you'd let him that is.

-30/11/2023

The situation was escalating. You absolutely wouldn't let anyone near you. Even when they were very sweet and understanding towards your drastic changes in moods. This wasn't what they had envisioned when they took you. That was weighing hard on the boys, especially when you wouldn't eat or drink. They were growing concerned about your wellbeing. Today was no different. Each meal time they tried making something you'd enjoy based on the pictures you posted on your Instagram. But you were adamant with your choice to ignore them.

Food was running low and they needed to go shopping before they left for their deployment. While they were at it they also wanted to buy you winter clothes and essentials for your room. You were probably sick of wearing their sweatpants and t-shirts anyways. They hoped this would warm you up to them even if it was only a little bit. It was decided Gaz and Soap would keep an eye on you until Price and Ghost got back.

Price gave strict instructions to Gaz and Soap before leaving. They were told to keep you calm above anything else and no funny business, that comment was aimed at Soap specifically. Ghost and Price didn't want to leave when you were so unstable but things needed to get done.

It wasn't too hard finding what you needed considering they got their hands on your online purchase history. Excluding all the stuff you regularly bought for your siblings you didn't have much in terms of essential items that you used daily. It was all cheap stuff so the two men decided it would be nice to get you better quality clothing, skincare, shampoo and anything else they thought you'd like. Price had to text Gaz for that though. Gaz knew best out of all of them of what products to buy especially for hair.

The most indulgent thing you bought for yourself was your camera. And even that was bought secondhand. They felt guilty that it was partially their fault that it got ruined in the lake. But they swore to make it up to you. For now they focused on making your living space more comfortable. Maybe that would get you to eat. With all the groceries packed and a pretty bouquet of flowers in Ghost's hand they decided to go home to make a nice dinner for you.

Unfortunately for them in the short time they were gone, Soap had managed to upset you again. Upset you quite badly at that too. When they had gotten back with their hands full of blankets, bedsheets and clothing they were greeted with a messy living room with things thrown everywhere.

And to make it worse you were crying huddled in a corner. They didn't even have time to get the groceries in before Price let out an audible sigh. They were barely gone for two hours this time. What could possibly have happened in such a short amount of time to make you cry like that? Gaz was trying to soothe you but you cried harder when he tried coming closer.

Soap was looking both upset and guilty sitting on the sofa quite a distance away from you. He was covered in new scratch marks, which in itself gave enough of an indication as to what might have happened. That man really couldn't keep his hands to himself even if he tried. But Price couldn't really blame him. Physical touch was his love language. It's the way he showed his affection for everyone. Which could often be mistaken for him being horny. When in reality he just liked the closeness physical touch brought. Though Soap is horny a lot of the time too.

He wanted to fuck Ghost the first week of meeting him and meeting Gaz wasn't much different. He's an insatiable wolf. They all knew that before forming this pack. But you were fairly new to all this so it wasn't fair for him to pounce on you so quickly. You needed time to adjust to the situation. He'll have to have a talk with Soap tonight after dinner.

“What happened?” Price hands over his bags to Simon.

“I was just trying to relax with her,” Soap muttered. Simon, taking the hint, takes a grumbling Soap with him after he's done sulking. They both leave to go get the groceries out and start on dinner.

“Soap wanted to take a bath with her,” Price approached carefully while listening to Gaz explain the situation.

“Want some privacy luv?” you sniffled to yourself as you looked at them extremely annoyed but nodded your head eventually. Seems like you were still holding a grudge. But you'll come around he knows it. Maybe they should let you get your anger out of your system so they can move past this.

“You can take a bath alone luv, just leave the door unlocked ok? We got you new pajamas, cute ones with strawberries on them.” You stare at them for a while before a soft ‘thank you’ leaves your mouth when Price hands you a bag with all your bathroom necessities.

The rest of the day was spent with you sitting in a corner mumbling to yourself and refusing to eat for yet another day even after they gave you the flowers and made you your favourite dinner. Though your lack of appetite was concerning. He knew you snuck sealed packaged food at night. You just wouldn't eat anything cooked by them. He supposes that it's their fault for drugging you. They'll have to build the trust back up slowly.

Price was growing concerned about when they'll have to leave you alone in the house. He was growing afraid you'd do something to hurt yourself. They were due to leave the coming Monday. But it wasn't like he could push back the deployment any further. They had finally got information on the shadow company and Graves. They weren't going to let that rat slip away again.

But they also had a responsibility to keep you safe. Maybe it would be better to take you with them for the time being. You could stay on base while they figure things out. It would also give you a chance to bond with them. Not that you showed any interest to do so.

Price wishes you'd take more of an interest in them. You just accepted their confession on being werewolves, not a single question was asked in that regard. There aren't many people they would share that information with so they were expecting more of a reaction from you. But they didn't get much of one. Apart from you promising to keep their secret if they let you go.

But then again Simon found your old Whittpad? Wattpad? (Was that how you say it?) history. Apparently it was some app to read stories on and you read your fair share of supernatural romances from what Simon had told him. He did reprimand Simon for digging into personal information about you. Price knows you wouldn't be happy if you knew they knew of your reading habits. Not that they'd judge you for it. Everyone has needs. If that was your preferred method of meeting them, it was none of their business. He did wonder if you learned any silly myths about them through those novels.

Overall the day wasn't the worst they experienced with you. You were clean, dressed nicely and got to use some of the stuff they bought you. Things only escalated when Soap tried apologising to you before bed but you didn't want to let him near you. Some not so nice things were said on your part. And you did end up throwing a few cushions at him to get him to leave.

But at least you looked refreshed dressed in your new pajamas and he knew you'd probably try to find something to eat when they'd ‘fall’ asleep. They'd have to enjoy the small victories for now. This was going to be a difficult journey but Price was a patient man. He knows you'll come around eventually. They just needed to give you time to adjust.

-nearing midnight

The laptop screen finally loaded up. It wasn't for the reason Ghost usually used it for. He needed to see those images of you again. You were strung up today especially after that incident with Soap in the afternoon. More things were thrown and some mean things were said. So Price thought it'd be best to let you sleep alone in the living room since all the doors were securely locked anyway, you weren't going to escape even if you tried.

But Ghost thought Price was being too lax with your increasingly violent behavior. They should nip this in the bud before you seriously injure yourself or someone else. But for now he'll follow the orders he's given. Which means no excessive snooping or going near you for any reason other than necessity.

Despite the violent outburst they were all looking forward to showing you your room tomorrow, just the bars on your window needed to be installed. You'd also get your own ensuite which would give you the added privacy you probably needed. Soap was getting a little impatient but so was he. He just wanted you curled up in arms already but that wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

There was something bothering Ghost though. His suspicion started at the cabin when he had to undress you. Obviously there was so much going on that it was hard to focus solely on his suspicions but he was sure of what he saw. Your calves were littered with faded scars, he's sure the boys must have got at least a small glimpse of them already. No one has brought it up though. They could very much be old self harm scars. It was a very common occurrence with children in abusive households. He has plenty of his own. Thank god yours looked a couple years old. There weren't any new marks on you apart from a couple bruises you sustained in the forest.

As Ghost goes through your pictures again he realises why you wear stockings in all your pictures. You're never smiling either. There's not a single picture of you smiling. Not on your SD card or on your Instagram. He doesn't think he's seen you smile properly at the cabin either but that was a difficult situation and you were also sick. So that was understandable. He does want to make your life easier here, he wants to make you smile, make you feel loved but you were making things much more difficult than they needed to be.

As he goes through the picture lands on his favourite one. It wasn't one of the exposed pictures of you. You were just holding some wild flowers close to your face. You aren't smiling in it per se but there is a serene expression on your face. You looked the happiest he's ever seen you. Though he's only known you a little over a week but he wanted to make you feel safe. He did have a lapse in judgment at the cabin. His lust and anger spoke for him then. But he wanted to be better for you. He wanted to do better by you. He checks the date of when the picture was taken. And goes to check its correlation to your calendar.

(20/11/23 - 9:00-10:00pm waiting for callback from the London agency)

It was the date you received your job offer in London. His heart felt a little heavy, he felt guilty they took that from you but he had ampled doubt that you'd be able to escape your parents hold even if you did move to London. They'd still expect you to send money back home even if it meant you had to live in extreme conditions to survive in London. That was no life, you deserved better than that. They'll figure out a way for you to keep doing photography. But you needed to learn to trust them first and be a little less violent.

Ghost's door opens just as he's about to close his laptop.

“Ah’ve had enough! Ah made her ah sandwich but she didn't even touch it. Just stared at meh angrily until ah left! How am ah supposed tae be swee-” Johnny stops mid rant, his eyes zeroing in on the image on the laptop. Johnny stares at the screen until the realisation hits him that the pictures were of you.

“Ye greedy bastard! Ye could have told us that ye had them! Ah wouldn't have wasted meh time trying to imagine her naked.” Johnny in a huff just deposits himself in Ghost's lap clearly annoyed at the man for keeping your images to himself. Without asking for permission he quickly finds the picture he's looking for. Ghost wasn't surprised the picture he landed on. Soap was a simple minded man most days. He supposes it's time he makes it up to him, for keeping the pictures to himself.

“It's nae fair if yer the only one having fun! I'm telling Price about this in the morning.” Soap huffs pushing down his grey sweatpants and fishing out his hardening cock.

“Let me make it up to you pup. But you shouldn't treat her so roughly, she isn't like us. She needs time to warm up. Be patient with her.” Ghost lets out an apologetic purr as he nuzzles his nose into Johnny's neck, making sure to leave wet kisses behind as his hands take over Soap's movements on his cock.

“Ah'm nae forgiving ye that easily” Soap throws his head back feeling Ghost fist his cock with more vigor while his eyes stay glued to images of your naked flesh. This is the least he could do for him.

The rest of the night it spent with Johnny on his back begging (quite loudly) for more. He was insatiable with his rut probably approaching. Which was dangerous in this situation. You certainly weren't ready to have sex with all of them. When one of them goes into a rut they all follow pretty quickly. Ghost doesn't falter in his movements as he plows into Soap's stretched hole. Waiting for his knot to catch on Soap's spasming muscles. He thought about covering his hand over Soaps mouth but he desperately wanted you to hear what you were missing out on, on what could be yours if you allowed them to take care of you.

If the spanking was anything to go by it seemed you liked a little rough treatment. But you were still inexperienced so they needed to go slow with you. Kinks and safe words could always be figured out later. It's not long after Ghost's keen ears pick up on the moans of Gaz followed by grunts from Price and the slapping of skin. Seemed like everyone was pent up today. You probably wouldn't get any sleep with the noise they were making.

-01/11/2023

It's been four days, four days of you trapped in this hell, four days of you escaping their wandering hands, four days for you refusing to drink or eat in their presence. Last night being the worst of it all. They had finally let you sleep by yourself in the living room. But the whole night was filled with the noise of slapping skin and lewd grunts and wanton moans.

You bet they did it on purpose too. Your face felt hot remembering how slick and uncomfortable your aching pussy felt the whole night, especially when you had no outlet to relieve yourself. With their stupidly keen sense of smell and heightened hearing they'd know for a fact if you had touched yourself to the sounds of them fucking. It felt like you were trapped in a nightmare with no way out. You just wanted to be rescued already. Please God someone must be looking for you…please anyone…you needed to get home…for them if not yourself…

Your head was pounding, on the verse of bursting from the lack of nutrition and sleep. Your nerves are vibrating with fear, keeping you on your toes. You knew a chase was coming. They had just finished whatever they were doing in that spare room of theirs. The insistent clatter of tools and nails had finally ceased but now you were faced with an entirely new dilemma. A dilemma that involved four men cornering you.

‘Come look at your room’ they said, as if you didn't know that was code for ‘get in your cage’. You weren't stupid despite having ended up in this horrible situation. You knew you wouldn't see the light of day if they managed to get you in there.

Your forever prison. If and only if they get you in there. You didn't plan on entering another type of hell just after trying to escape the last.

“Darling! Please listen! Ow! Sto- Darling!” armed with another padded cushion you don't stop to listen to their stupid excuses as you yet again hurl the non lethal object at the person closest to you. That being Gaz.

We aren't trying to hurt you!”, safe to say you don't listen again as you circle the sofa for the umpt time in the last two minutes.

“Don't come near me! I don't want to look at the room!”

You've been tightroping on a knife's edge for the last four days, making sure they don't get their hands on you for any reason! You weren't going to let all your hard work go to waste! If you were honest it felt so much longer than four days. Hours felt like days when you're trapped in a cage, even if it was a golden one. Time goes so slowly when you have nothing to but wait to be rescued. You watch them circle around you like prey while you try to find any sliver of an opening to escape.

“Look, we know this situation isn't ideal but we promise it isn't forever. You can decorate it however you like later,” Were they purposely acting obtuse? You watch Price put his hands up in surrender. Trying his best to look non threatening while Ghost moves to watch everything unfold from the comfort of the far wall. Stupid prick… You hated the bastard. He's the reason you had to endure such a humiliating punishment.

You don't trust their pretty words, you've already made that mistake once. Well more than once but you get the idea. You weren't going to fall for it again. That you promised yourself.

Price stays back while the younger two of the four men decide to close in on you. They look at you with apprehension and pity. A sentiment you didn't appreciate. You wouldn't even be in the situation if it weren't for them. This entire situation was of their own making. They had no right to be angry with you. Not one bit, but it wasn't like that would stop them from trying to ‘punish’ you. Thankfully they've been busy sorting things out to do anything even with you getting increasingly more violent.

Gaz gives Soap a look and you know what's about to happen, you can tell they were about to pounce. You feel your nerves fraying with anxiety so with your weight pressed against your heels you ready yourself to run. They try creeping closer but the second they decide to take a definitive step you bolt.

“Darling that's enough! You need to stop fighting us!”, Price shouts as you swerve at the last second narrowly escaping the two men when they crowd you. You make a break for the kitchen not listening to their shouts as you evade their calloused hands. Thankfully you manage to get to the other side of the breakfast counter before either Gaz or Soap could reach you. Out of reflex you grab the nearest makeshift weapon at your disposal. That being a very expensive looking vase with the flowers they gifted you yesterday. The very first you ever received and you couldn't even appreciate them because they were given to you by your kidnappers. They both stand on the other side looking less than impressed by your choice of weapon.

“Sweetheart we just want to show you your room, that's all,” you hiss and bare your teeth at Gaz earning you an aspirated sigh from him.

“Don't come near! I-I'll hit you!”, your voice breaks which in turn pisses you off more. Strength! Embody Strength! You shout at yourself internally to steel your nerves. You needed more conviction in your tone to inspire fear. Even if it was only a little bit.

It's a stalemate. They looked annoyed, but more exhausted than anything else. Of course they'd be tired. They were getting fucked the whole night while you suffered….

You know you were making things worse for yourself but you didn't want to be locked in that room. Your chances of escaping would plummet. You just needed to hold out a little longer, just a little longer. Someone must be searching for you. Your friends, your family, at least one person would have reported you missing by now. They must have…you needed to get home…

You watch them with laboured breaths, waiting for them to spring at you again. Waiting for an excuse to get violent and get your built up frustrations out. Price pinches his nose in annoyance before giving up and going to sit on the sofa with Ghost following closely behind. It's only Gaz and Soap cornering you now.

“We promise ye’ll like yer room hen, we even got ye ah fluffy blanket and some plushies. Please stop being difficult. We just want tae take care ye.”

“Fuck off, I don't care! You? y-you?” You have to think for a second for an insult that would hurt them, that would make them dislike you. Maybe then they'd let you go.

“ Y-you?… you Dogs!” You instantly regret the words leaving your mouth kinda grateful you didn't end up calling them mutts. Gaz flinches at your raised voice, or more so at the word ‘Dogs’. Guilt floods your heart the second you see their hurt expression, an apology spills out of your mouth before your anger could block out your guilt.

“I'm sorry that was rude of me…but don't come near.” You look at them wearily, you didn't mean to be derogatory towards their biology. Not that you understood it but you didn't need to be rude about it. Their eyes soften at your apology but you still see the flash of hurt cross their eyes.

“I just want to go home, I promise I won't tell anyone about your secret. Please…please won't you let me go? I have people I need to take care of.” You brandish the vase with shaky hands because they were still on the offensive so you keep your guard up.

“We took you for your own good love. You weren't being treated well at home. We'll give you a better life here. You just need to allow us to.” You’re filled with disappointment at Gaz's words. You feel the ever familiar sting of tears tightening your waterline but you stay strong. No, don't cry! Don't show weakness!

“Hah? A better life? A better life? You must fucking kidding if you think I'd believe that!” You scoff at his ridiculous suggestion. You watch Soap try to approach again only for you to step back vase still in hand.

With your tears pushed down your building anger was rearing its ugly head again. It was boiling your blood to the point where you wanted to scald everything surface near you, you wanted to make everyone feel your pain. After years of working hard to appease your parents, trying to get them to see reason, saving money to escape the cage they put you in. You found yourself in yet another cage. The worst part was you only had two weeks until you left. Just two weeks…

Yet you found yourself locked in again, bound to a fixed location at the mercy of four strangers. This time the bars enclosing your freedom were tinted gold, but they were bars nonetheless. You were slowly losing any form of identity you built for yourself. Any form of escape you manifested was crumbling to the ground, much like an like your sanity. Fear was settling in, you felt it in your bones. The rattling was unsettling, this whole situation was. Why you? Why did it have to be you?

And to top it all off they were supernatural beings. You're more shocked how easily you accepted that fact than you are about them actually being werewolves. You attribute that to all the werewolf wattpad stories you read as a teen…. You had so many questions you wanted answered but you didn't want to ask them just in case they take it as your acceptance to being theirs.

“We'll give ye such ah great life here. Ye’ll want for nothing. We'll buy ye whatever ye want, whatever clothes, whatever makeup, whatever food. We'll even buy ye ah new camera. Ye can take as many naughty pictures as ye like.” You freeze at his words, blood running colder than rivers in the arctic. Shock marred your features as you tried to understand what you were hearing. Gaz clocked it first that Soap had just made a huge mistake. And Soap looked at you with guilt the second he saw your distraught face. They fumble with their apologies but you can't seem to hear. Cold blood rushing to your ears blocks out any sound from reaching you.

They saw…They looked through your camera….they saw you naked. They violated your privacy….

Before you were willing to forgive them for what they did at the cabin, namely because you thought they were helping you when you were sick. But they just needed a convenient excuse to get you naked didn't they? Fucking Perverts!

Feeling anger was an understatement, you were feeling down right ravenous for blood, for destruction. How fucking dare they!

“I WANT TO GO HOME! NOW! RIGHT NOW! I DON'T LIKE YOU! I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE! LET ME GO YOU FUCKING PRICKS!” You scream your built up aggravation out at them. You flinch at your own anger. You've never had the guts to voice your anger out like this. The most you've ever done is slightly raise your voice which often ended up with you being backhanded by your dad. You've learnt to either stay silent or placate him with money. Money always seemed to work to calm him down. Money wasn't going to help you here.

It was different here. The one punishment they inflicted made you feel buzzed and tingling in all the sting places. And they haven't gotten maliciously violent with you yet. No matter how angry you'd get with them, they wouldn't threaten to harm you. Any aggression they faced at your hands was often met with patience and coos to soothe you as if you were a skittish bunny. That didn't excuse them of being perverts though. Especially Soap for that matter. That man had a problem keeping his hands to himself.

If the cooing didn't work they'd just let you tire yourself out. It often felt like you were talking to a brick wall when they'd get like this. If your screaming bothered them they didn't let it show, only looks of pity crossed either of their faces. Which only served to aggravate you even more. Gaz tries to take a step closer but you just take another set back continuing to let your frustrations out as tears prickle your already bloodshot eyes.

“DON'T COME NEAR ME! I'll hit you! D-don’t...*sob*..come near..*cries*,” a wave of fatigue washes over you while you raise the vase as a warning. Everything you knew was crumbling around you. You felt sick to your stomach despite not having eaten properly in days.

“Can ye pick ah different vase? Me nan gave meh that…”

You're stunned into silence for a second, your tears also drying up. You’re discombobulated at his words, your mind racing to understand what he just said. Guilt sits heavy on your chest as the words unjumble in your head. Your arms immediately lower as an apology leaves your mouth far too easily for your liking.

“Oh..*sniffle* I'm so sor- wait…why the fuck should I care!?"

Right!? Why should you care? You should be angry, you should be breaking things.

But despite you trying to school yourself on maintaining a front, your grip becomes shaky and you're forced to return the vase to its original place. You glare at the two men angrily having put the vase down despite wanting to smash. No matter how bad you wanted to hurt them, this just seemed excessively cruel.

“Thanks for putting down the vase hen. Come on now mah sweet girl, promise ye’ll love yer room.” You stare at him incredulously, more accurately at his audacity.

Tears blur your vision again as you curse your frustrations out at them for the hundredth time today.

“This is your fault! I'm like this because of you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you…” You close your eyes for a split second to clear the falling tears, unfortunately for you that's when both of them take the opportunity to block your escape from either side. You can't do much other than struggle with your limited energy. You haven't been eating out of spite for the last few days. And running around definitely didn't help your situation. Everyone was on edge and your tantrums weren't helping.

Soap wraps his bulky arms around you as gently as he could while whispering his insincere apologies to you. You shout at him not to touch you, to get his ‘filthy hands’ off you. All you were doing was wasting your breath though. Which just serves to aggravate you more. You're upset, you're angry and down right exhausted. You just wanted to go home. The cage at home was better than here. At least you were close to escaping that one.

Soap hoists you up in his arms carrying you towards the living room while Gaz trails behind looking upset and guilty. It seems everyone was at their wits end today. And the boys were due to be deployed this coming Monday, you heard them say as much. Why couldn't they just leave already. You didn't want to be near these perverts.

Once you come into Price's view he ushers Soap to deposit you in his lap while Ghost fiddles with the TV channels. The fight has left you now, you're just limp in Soap's arms while you silently cry out your muddled emotions. Soap gently deposits you on Price's lap and immediately your face is pushed to his neck where you cry harder.

“Our pretty Bunny, it's ok, just cry it out.” Nothing was ok, you weren't ok! You weren't safe from their touches.

“I know. I know. It's ok baby, let us take care of you.” You huff out in anger trying to escape his hold but you just don't have the energy to fight them anymore. So your face remains pushed to the crook of his neck while you're forced to inhale the smell of his aftershave. The worst part was that the scent was soothing your frayed nerves. You inhale the smell of the forest and something slightly fruity and sweet. Strawberry….When did he eat strawberries? You wanted some… You weren't going to tell him that though. Your stomach grumbling does that for you. Traitor…

“Everything we've done we've done for your betterment. I know you're hurt now but you'll understand eventually. Just let us love you darlin. Promise we'll take such good care of you.” You stay silent not knowing how to respond to their bullshit. You'll just have to figure out a way to escape once they leave.

“What is it luvvie? Why are you so pent up today? Do y’need some help making yourself cum? We can smell y’slick cunt since last night.” Ghost coos at you while trying to find a channel to watch on the TV. Your blood boils at his words, your anger that's been simmering erupted like a volcano.

“As if I'd let you monsters touch me! Delete my pictures you fucking perverts!” The simmering violence in you burst out unexpectedly as you grab the spare remote near you to hurl it at his head, hitting him pretty hard.

“Fuc- Ow!” Ghost clutches his covered head. You feel bad immediately after you realise what you've done. You don't even get a chance to apologise before Price is restraining your arms while everyone tuts at your actions. You watch as Gaz goes to check-in on Ghost, they remove his mask away from your sight. Probably checking for any serious injuries.

You hear Price sigh heavily beside you when everything seems fine with Ghost. So you're assuming he wasn't too badly hurt, probably just a little stunned you actually tried hurting him. Before you can try to escape and run you feel an iron grip on your arms halting you. It was just shy of bruising so when you tried to push away from him you weren't expecting him to growl so inhumanly at you, or with so much anger. He seemed pissed, very pissed. Maybe you should apologise but you were too scared to do anything other than try to escape.

“Ghost was right. We can't have you getting violent like this. I think it's about time we teach you a lesson luv. This behaviour has gone on too long.” His voice was deceptively calm, while you only heard grunts of approval from the other men. Your emotions were all over the place on one hand you felt bad for hitting Ghost on the other you wanted to escape by any means, even if that meant you hurting them. You still can't believe they’ve seen your pictures. The humiliation just doesn't stop, does it?

Price had you bent over his knee before you could realise what was happening. You're made aware of the power imbalance from the get go. There was no way you'd escape his hold. If you weren't going to be able to hurt them physically while you struggle, you think perhaps you could use your words instead. The first flurry of curses leaves your mouth as wrists are captured and pinned to the small of your back.

“I hate you! You stupid assholes! Perverts! You don't care about me! Let me go!” You repeat the same sentences over and over and over again. Until your own ears felt like they were bleeding.

“Don't make things harder for yourself sweetheart. I think we've been too soft on you if you're acting like this.” This whole time you felt Price's large hand caressing your back down to your ass cheeks. Giving the plush of your bottom a mean pinch before landing a hard slap over your pajama bottoms. You bite down a groan as the sting travels down to your already drenched cunt. No doubt they know you've been soaked since last night.

“What do you think Simon? How do you want to punish her?

Ghost comes into view, mask still on. Only his obsidian eyes were on display. They looked eerily devoid of emotions. You expected him to be more angry than he looked but then again looks are often deceiving. Soap moves out of his way as he crouches to be level with your face. His glove covered hands come up to wipe away the tears staining your face. He was surprisingly gentle when caressing you.

“That throw was personal wasn't it luv? I'll be nice and forgive you if you apologise.” You shake your head to the best of your ability only to be rewarded with a chuckle. You just glare at him seeing that he found the situation funny.

“How about this? You have a nice big dinner with us and you don't have to get a spanking. But you have to finish your food. Doesn't that sound nice?” You glare not wanting to give the satisfaction of doing what they say. Or getting potentially drugged again. Even though you were extremely hungry. Your stomach being the treacherous bitch she is decides this is the moment she wants attention on her and growls for everyone to hear. Gaz and Soap just watched you with sympathy and you hated that even more. You didn't need their pity. You didn't want their care or affection. You just wanted to go home.

“Oh you poor thing, you shouldn't be so cruel to yourself. Come on… all you have to do is have some dinner. It's either that or Price here spanks you so hard you'd be unable to walk without wincing in pain.” You hate that he was making a reasonable offer. It just pissed you off more that they got to pick and choose when they wanted to be cooperative with you.

“So what do you say? Y'want to be good for us?” You glare but don't answer straight away knowing you'd probably get yourself into more trouble. You weigh the options out. Your fear and anger waging a war in your head as you do so. In the end your anger wins. You weren't going to submit to their whims; it was the only thing you could control right now. And you needed the sense of control more than you needed food.

“Fuck you! I want my pictures deleted, you asshole!” That sentence sealed your faith for the night.

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nvuy · 7 months ago

Text

an ode to a nightingale — sunday

summary. you were never anything. sunday begs to differ, in his own twisted way.

notes. a thing i did as an experiment and also as a little gift to a special someone (you know who you are) because we both enjoy staring at this guy's face. he's a funky little dude and a massive green flag. 100%.

i redownloaded hsr and i’ve started penacony. i have no idea what’s going on. it’s probably because i’ve been stuck staring at dr ratio’s boob window the whole time. i’m like a toddler watching cocomelon. i cant look away.

warnings. mdni, for safety. implied explicit content, dark themes, manipulation, sunday is a controlling dickhead, you’re an implied streetwalker, yandere themes, insulting, threatening, possessiveness, mentions of kidnapping, gaslighting, obsessiveness, lots of nice stuff like that. please let me know if i've missed anything!

“What do you want from me?”

You looked in the mirror as you spoke, and you saw some pathetic state of a person staring back at you. Behind the edges of the golden vanity was the outline of the filled bathtub with steam wafting from the surface.

And him.

You watched as he sank into the water with a satisfied gleam on his face.

You refused to linger on the scratch marks that left gorgeous red and white lines down his arms, and his chest, and his spine.

It smelled like coconut. Coconut and dusted sugar on creamy pastry. And the clogging smell of mascara.

It smudged down your cheeks, and your lips were ruined and swollen, and your skin was painted in purple bruises and teeth marks.

And you were sore. Every part of your body was aching.

Sunday was leaning against the edge of the tub, staring at you through his lashes. He always preferred his baths boiling, as if he wanted to melt his skin off. Usually, he’d bring a book with him and read it during his off time when given the chance.

He didn’t answer.

“You’ve changed,” he said instead. His voice echoed off of the white tiles in the bathroom.

“I look the same as the night you took me off the streets,” you murmured. “Like a whore.”

Sunday hummed. “Is that how you see yourself?” The wings extending from his ears dipped below the water for a moment. “A ‘whore?’”

You didn’t want to turn to face him.

It was difficult enough to hold his unwavering gaze in the mirror.

“You’re not denying it.”

“Because I think you look damaged.” He was honest this time, and there was bitterness swelling with his tone. He instinctively fluttered his feathers to dry them off.

“By your design.” You were speaking of how he made it his duty to ruin your skin with his teeth.

“What I’ve done to you is nothing. You had already ruined yourself by offering your body to those disgusting animals before I had ever even laid my eyes on you.” He waved his hand as if he meant no harm with his words. “I’ve merely saved you.”

Your jaw clenched.

He fluttered his lashes at you in the mirror and sighed.

What a pretty sight.

“‘Saved me?’” you repeated hoarsely. You tried not to claw at your skin in frustration. You willed yourself not to lunge at him and puncture his eyes from his skull. “Do me a favour and save me from your arrogance next. You’re deluded if you think trapping me in your bedroom is praiseworthy.”

He smiled.

“Think of it this way: a bird is much safer trapped in a cage than free to the winds.” The smell of coconut and sugared powder made your head spin. Of course, he would use the soaps and creams you wore when he first met you. The smell was engraved into his mind like a branding.

Although covered by a robe, you felt vulnerable. His gaze held strong. You weren’t sure if he was even blinking.

Sunday seemed too relaxed. Your freedom was a joke to him; what is freedom if you’re too busy giving your body to strangers? Did you want to go back to that life?

“You want me to get in the tub just so you can humiliate me,” you accused with a dangerous flash of your teeth.

You wanted to sound angry. You wanted to sound furious, but it was only a pitiful whimper of a phrase. You felt pathetically weak.

He was quick to answer, “I did not request your company.” He patted the book with golden edges that sat on a ledge of the bathtub. You didn’t want to ask of its contents. “You came here of your own fruition. You felt lonely.”

“You think you know everything about me.”

“But of course.” Sunday plucked the book from the ledge, careful not to wet the pages as he turned to the page he’d marked. “You are mine, after all.”

His tone was light. Confident.

Your face was burning. “Fuck you.”

Who even were you? Who were you next to him?

Nothing, was the appropriate answer. He insisted otherwise, though he’d never given you a definitive answer of what you were. He’d never explicitly stated you to be a whore, disobedient, disrespectful, too independent for your own good.

Everything you hated to hear about yourself, even if it was all true.

He’d only tut and usher you away with a wave of his hand.

You’re his, as well.

His teeth in your skin, his feathers tickling your neck, his wandering fingers that crept below your navel. He’s stained your skin with his. It’s hard to wash off—even harder when he shares the same soaps as you.

Perhaps he knows this, and that’s why he hopes you share a bath with him.

So you’re reminded that there’s a chain around your ankle.

“You’re a fuckin’ hypocrite, y’know. You think you’re so high and mighty, and yet you’re naked and pining after some street whore. And then you insist that I belong to you, but also beg for me beneath your own sheets.” But that wasn’t true.

As soon as the words left your lips you screwed your eyes shut and you leaned over the vanity.

His smile only grew, and the tip of his tongue touched the sharp edge of his canines.

Your fingers curled around the edge of the marble countertop.

Here he was, vulnerable. Susceptible to a swift slice of a blade to his neck, to being held beneath the surface of the water until he stopped flailing.

And you’re still so afraid of him.

He reads you like the book in his hands.

Sunday cooed. “Just like water, you are destructible, easily poisoned, and ever changing. You are lost, entrapped within four walls, so desperate to escape, but you cannot think for yourself.”

You furrowed your brows.

He turned the page of his book. The water sloshed as his arms moved.

The smell of coconut was hurting your head.

“You speak in tongues because you’re scared of ruining your perfect image,” you said. “You’re just an insecure little boy who's stuck in a daydream.”

That forced his head to turn. He almost snapped his book shut. Instead, his fingers froze on the edges of the crisp paper.

Then, he let out a hearty laugh.

“Allow me to rephrase: your beauty is wicked. It is rotten, vile, and evil.” The sweet scent of sugar was a cruel joke. It juxtaposed everything that spilled from his filthy lips. “Your blood is muddied and ruined. You’ve allowed strangers to see your skin.

“You’re lucky I’ve tolerated your behaviour for this long. If you were anybody else, you would have lost your foul tongue after our first night together.”

The way he said it all made you feel so much smaller than you were.

You finally turned around to face him. The reflection in the mirror made the bathtub seem further away than it actually was.

The tub was in the centre of the room, craved meticulously from a blue crystal. To you, it closely resembled aquamarine. It was big enough to be considered a swimming pool if you removed the golden faucet, but you refrained from insulting his fussy craftsmanship and adding fuel to the fire.

Sunday was particular about everything; sizing, shapes, colours. Everything had to match, everything had to make sense, everything had to be perfect and presentable. Any faults or flaws were dealt with swiftly, whether that be a person or an object. You weren’t sure if you were considered one or the other.

Then came the specifics. A ledge for placing things, voids in the walls for storing soaps, adequate cupboards, flooring, walls, forms, everything.

Aeons forbid you dropped a glass and scratched the precious tiling.

And he was particular about you, though he never clearly stated what he wanted from you.

He wanted you. That was clear from how he would coax you to join him with gentle words and fleeting touches. How he would stain your skin and leave an imprint of your body on his bedsheets.

Anything other than that was muddled, muddied, lost in his own deluded mind.

“What do you want from me?” you asked him again.

Sunday fluttered his lashes at you. “Nothing at all.”

“Have you ever told the truth?”

You had instinctively drawn yourself closer to him. You leaned over the tub, fingers curled around the rim of crystal.

Sunday sighed. He looked sick, like delusion had twisted through his mind like poison ivy crawling along the walls of the gardens outside. “You are afraid of the truth.”

“You’re lying again.” He wasn’t lying, but you refused to make him feel as though he was in control.

That was he fed off.

Your fear, your touch, your taste, your words, every inch of your skin. His. All of it.

“I want everything,” he stated.

You wanted to break the tub and slit his throat with the shards of crystal.

“I want you to give yourself to me. All of yourself.”

How selfish of him.

He still views you as an offering.

You turned away and moved to storm out of the bathroom. You would wait until he was finished. You couldn’t be in the room with him.

The steam was burning your skin, and your scent on him was making your head feel like it was splitting apart.

He grabbed your face and forced you to look back.

You would have described his eyes as beautiful; golden irides with hints of plush velvet and a deep sapphire. But all he did was stare. He’d never look away, and he never wished to.

He saw things you did not.

“I want undying loyalty.” When you squirmed, he held your cheeks harder. “I want hopeless devotion. I want compassion. I want to see the silhouette of you in my bed first thing every morning.”

Your nails were frozen digging into his wrist, still wet and hot from the water.

He seemed as though he wished to say more, though refrained when he let go of your face. He’d abandoned his book now, his gaze remaining locked onto you.

Your cheeks stung from his fingerprints. You feared the patterns would be burned into your flesh.

“I want you to stop,” you whispered.

You knew what he was doing.

“Oh, I will.” This time, when his fingers raised for your face, he simply grazed them along your sore cheek. “Join me.”

You didn’t answer at first. You didn’t even move from your spot, frozen as if he’d drawn ice down your spine.

You breathed out. Your fingers were trembling.

“I’m not stupid,” you said. You were trying to convince yourself it was true.

Sunday only tilted his head. “No, you’re not stupid.”

He was already pulling the string of the bow around your waist. His wings bristled.

“I know what you’re doing,” you insisted, holding onto the fluffy material when he undid the knot holding the robe together. “I know what you’re doing.”

He smiled playfully. His hands pushed away the robe. “What am I doing?”

Your eyes welled with tears.

You don’t know what he’s doing. You are stupid.

You wished you’d never met him. You wished you’d never let soft hands and kind words and those pretty eyes of his draw you into his bed.

You shouldn’t have ever crawled back to him.

You let out a pathetic sob.

“Oh, you sweet thing.”

Sunday tutted pitifully and offered his hand.

Almost instinctively, as if it had been written in your blood since the moment you were born, you took it and leaned into his embrace.

His hair smelled of sugared tea. The feathers of his wings grazed over your face, now soaked with your tears.

He gently drew you into the water, murmuring something bordering on praise. You didn’t even hear what he said.

“I will make you all better.”

The water was hot. His lips on your cheek made you dizzy. The mirror had completely steamed up by now, and your chest pressed flush against his.

You tried to push him off you. You tried. You really did. You’d done this before, many times. Letting him break you down and watching as you lost control of your limbs and clawed at him until he held you.

He was good at that. Predicting. Letting things form the way they always did.

You were so angry. Angry at yourself, at him, at everything. Weakly, you curled your fists and hit his shoulders defeatedly. You heard him laugh.

All you did was betray yourself, surrendering and stilling as his cold hands dipped below the water.

“I will make you whole again.”

#sunday x reader #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail #yandere honkai star rail #hsr x reader #sunday x you #✦ ( the macrocosmos. )#✦ ( after hours. )

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absolutebl · 29 days ago

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This Week in BL - Lots of lovely kisses & an unwarranted upset in the standings

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Oct 2024 Week 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

Fourever You (Thai Thurs YT) ep 2 of 16 - Yes yes J&J should be first but I am weak in the face of, well, frankly this man's face:

Pond = greatest piner in a dog’s age. The yearning in that boy’s eyes is obscene, it’s like the most explicit sex that only he can see and we’re just voyeurs.

Thus I continue to adore this stupid show and everything it stands for. No notes. May the fluff continue eternal.

Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) ep 5 of 12 - Everyone is so skilled in this show, but War is truly glorious. Considering the pacing, I think we are probably in for some long periods of darkness, suffering, and pain soon. I’m not mad about that prospect, it’s earned and foreshadowed, I just thought I’d lay it out there.

Kidnap (Fri YT) ep 6 of 12 - More boys from GMMTV with good communication. Who knew? Min has SUCH a white knight complex. NO SINGING. Good demanding kiss, though. Well, Ohm can handle anything.

Meanwhile, this really is a bodyguard romance under another name. And I kinda wanna rewatch Never Let Me Go as a result.

Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sun iQIYI) ep 4 of 15 - Earn remains best boy and my favorite character. Phun is v jelly, as he should be. AND I like Ohm & N'Mik better in this version. I still prefer the original leads, but I’m enjoying this enough.

I had no idea how much I missed Gunsmile! It’s so nice to see him on my screen again.

Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) ep 12 fin - I hate Diew’s mom. Hate her. So much. She may be my least favorite mom ever in BL. That’s saying a lot. No I don’t think she was redeemed.

Conclusion

Adapted from the novel Godzilla Next Door by Jiwinil about an introvert who lives mostly in his room, until a loud annoying extrovert moves in next door. This was one of my top picks for 2024 and I’m delighted to say it satisfied expectations. A charmingly serene story of opposites attract, that featured good communication, patience, and genuine affection used to build a solid relationship.(I’m particularly delighted that our musician is a drummer and I don’t have to listen to him sing.) Yes it’s a tad slow but it’s very earnest and leans into the kind of sweetness that Thai BL does best. Doesn’t hurt that this starred an actor (Big) that many of us have been hoping would get a lead for years. I was pleased and comforted. This is not a kind of BL that suits everybody, but it suited me admirably. 8/10

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 10 of 12 - Ozone and the Ice Prince (name still unknown) did their little dance. What an earnest and romantic confession from our Icy man. I literally said “no no no just kiss, no foreheads.” And it was a great crying kiss, my favorite. Honestly, that amount of emotion hadn’t been earned by this pair, but I don’t mind. I could watch a whole show just about them. Also woah! Major nekid on YT?

Thailand......

Risking demonetization for arse…...

I guess we’ve all been there.

Where was I?

I’m happy with this episode since it was mostly my side couple. But the distribution of main couple and side couple and the focus of each episode is wildly erratic with this show. It’s very odd. (And let's be clear we ordered errotic not erratic.)

Every You Every Me (Thai Mon Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - Jade and Chin have lived over a thousand lifetimes. In each one they somehow manage to fall in love with each other. (This pair, TopMick was piloted in a My Universe ep, that was one of the only ones I liked.) Soulmate premise is a mix of Color Rush and La Pluie. Frankly, this isn’t as good as either, but it’s enjoyable in a slow cheerful way. Especially if you like this particular set of tropes. It’s quietly lovely and I like the leads. Sunshine is very very sunshine and our tsundere is a grumpy mysterious nerd. Trigger for domestic abuse. It looks like each episode is gonna be a completely different meet cute with the same pairing. It’s more linked vignettes than any overarching story. So if you don’t like this pair, you won’t like this series.

Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 9 of 10 - More sports day. (Everybody’s doing sports days right now.) Random sides kissing. Where did the glasses person come from? Was he introduced and I forgot about it? Oh that’s the evil cousin! Okay… anygay. Sides randomly flip-flop who they like and I don’t know what the fuck is going on. This show. I swear. Ooo caught kissing. And… killed? What a mind fuck of a soap opera. Honestly, I’m fine if he’s dead, I don’t care at this point I just feel jerked around.

For some reason no eng sub for me for the first half. So I watched with Spanish subs (which is about as good as my Thai, only for different words). What a wild experience.

Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) ep 4 of 10 - Oh dear. I just can’t imagine ever rooting for this couple. Which means… Why am I watching this?

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

My Damn Business (Korea Sat YT) eps 1-2 of 7 - Oh I love it. Casual flirty westernized-style boss. Reserved reluctant cutie (yes we’ve seen the actor before). Is it disgusting workplace harassment? Oh most certainly. Do I enjoy it anyway? Yep, I’m warped. No defense, but at least it’s something from Korea.

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 3 of ? - I like the lead being bullied and pushed to his limit thus turning into a psychopath. It’s gonna be a fun ride if it really goes Devil Judge just teens and actually gay. I wonder if it has the strength of its convictions?

Our Golden Times (Hong Kong YT) 5 fin? - I guess that is the reunion? What an odd little piece. I’m not entirely sure what I feel about it except that this feels more BL than anything Hong Kong has given us so far (which isn't much). The subs are truly terrible. Since I speak absolutely zero Cantonese I can’t really fix them in my brain. I thought this was the final ep but then a teaser for ep 6 dropped so I we have at least one more.

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) ep 10 of 12 - It was a nice, if entirely unearned reunion. And the leads do kiss beautifully. Trust Taiwan. I am so glad that Orca is back! There was even a little language play flip-flopping just for me. Very cute. Also GREAT kissing. How long have we been waiting for Thailand and Taiwan to kiss?

Eccentric Romance (Korea Weds Viki) eps 1-2 of 12 - Silkwood’s 2nd Thai/Korean colab. This has been in production since 2022 which is a LONG time in the BL world (worrying). But I like the concept: friends of 10 years who’ve been hiding feelings for each other enter the same university. Plus MURDER. Stars Yoon Jun Won (The Man BLK) and Thai actor Save Saisawat (Ai Long Nhai). I begin to think every The Man BLK member will eventually lead out a BL at this point.

It’s enjoyable in a weird way. Grumpy (hottie with a crush) + sunshine (captain oblivious). I gotta say, since this is the second relationship dual lingo style in our BL rn that it’s ALWAYS weird if the other half doesn't occasionally code switch languages, especially for specific words. In other words, the Korean dude is supposed to at least understand Thai, occasionally he’s should use a Thai world to get a point across. And the Thai dude is there to STUDY KOREAN, he should be slipping in and out of Korean regularly. Bah.

It's airing but...

Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 5 of 10 eps - I never managed to get hold of ep 5. Frankly, it’s going to Netflix (I don’t subscribe) so I might not finish this out of sheer laziness.

The Hidden Moon (Sat WeTV) ep 1 of 10 - This is a supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger). A man is hired to write an article about an old mansion in Chiang Mai being converted into a café. He sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, falls in love with one of them. Was substantially recast. I loved IFYLITA except the ending so I think I'll let this one run it's course you can tell me if it's work tracking down... if they managed to land it. I have my doubts.

Gangster and His Boyfriend (Korea ????) 8 eps? - was supposed to air 10/10 Kim Dong Bin (famous trainee & idol reality competitor, yeah that happens) stars as a fallen idol who unexpectedly becomes entangled in a gangster family. Discovers that his friend’s father is responsible for the murder of his entire family years ago. I don't know much about this one, neither does anyone else and I'm not sure where I got that release date so……

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Still Coming Oct 2024:

10/17 Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo (Korea Thurs Gaga) 8 eps - High school student Do Hoe lives with his violent and brutal father who runs a Taekwondo gym in a rural area. One day, cheerful Ju Young arrives, he dreams of going to college for Taekwondo. Joy begins to fill Do Hoe's dark life. An unexpected incident forces them apart, they reunite ten years later.

10/21 Love in the Big City (Korea ????) 8 eps - Okay, this is both a movie (already out) and a series. Neither one is likely BL and I can't imagine it will end happily. I'm giving both a pass but here's your synopsis.

Cynical fun loving student Young pinballs from home, to class, to on night stands. He and Jaehee, his female besie and roommate, frequent nearby bars where they push away their worries about life, love, and money with soju and hookups.

10/23 See Your Love (Taiwan Weds Gaga & Viki) 10 eps? - Zi Xiong, a third-generation heir, attempting to flee from taking over their family business, meets and falls in love with Shao Peng, who works as a hearing-impaired nurse. From the same production house as Kiseki Dear To Me in partnership with Shinehouse Theatre, funded by Taiwan’s BIGART + Japan's Rakuten (Viki). Show includes Lin Chia Yo (Be Loved in House: I Do). Director Chiang Ping Chen’s childhood experiences with his deaf uncle have inspired the drama.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Addicted Heroin

Incidentally he didn’t ask to “be with Ter” he asked if he could flirt/court him. jeeb doesn’t really have a direct translation, but it isn’t “be with.”

Fourever You

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many at-ings.

203 notes · View notes

eeunoia · 4 months ago

Text

ENHYPEN Imagines

lacuna | pjs.

pairings: park jongseong x reader

synopsis: right after the disappearance of your bestfriend, you felt a big part of you missing. jay park, the rich school bad boy suddenly steps in to fill that gap. you let yourself fall into his trap, without knowing that his group of friends were the reason of your misery.

word count: 4.9k

warnings: yandere themes, mention of kidnapping, enhypen being obsessed, obsessive love, dark love and abuse of power & money. (let me know if i missed some)

note: this is jay’s entry for our yandere mini series. next part that will be posted is probably limerence (heeseung’s) part two. anyway, i hope you enjoy this one. replies and reblogs are highly encouraged. please please please! thank you so much, ily and stay safe!

fic moodboard › here

“Where’s Mom and Dad?” Jay asks while walking down the stairs. Some of their family helpers awaits him by the end of their long grand staircase.

“They left for a business trip, young master.” their head maid was the one who answered him. Jay sighs in dismay and gradually headed towards the main door of their mansion.

“Young master, how about breakfast?”

He rolled his eyes as his driver almost stumble to catch up on his pace. “I don’t want to eat all alone.” he spat coldly then heads to his service car without saying another word.

His drive towards their school is quiet. He tried to look out to the car’s window to divert his attention and ease his upset mood. This isn’t a great way to start his week. If he lets this affect him too much, his whole week is already ruined.

As their car parks right at the vacant slot on their school’s parking lot, his phone rang. He picks it up without checking who it was.

“What?”

“Where you at, dude? We’re here by the field.” it was one of his friends, Jake.

He sighs, “I just arrived the school. I’ll be there in five.” he lazily says.

“Okay, hurry up!” and he ended the call.

Jay rolls his eyes and his driver opens the car door for him. He went out and hangs one of his bag’s strap to his shoulder before walking to the direction of the field. He was planning to stop by the locker’s but since his friends demands him to go meet them, he have no other choice.

If people will be asked to describe Park Jongseong—also known as Jay, they will surely say that he probably have everything. Money, good looks, talent and influence. But that’s just what people see. They’re actually right. He’s handsome and the only heir to his parents' successful travel agency that have a lot of branches around the world.

There’s only one problem. For some reasons, despite having all these things and powers, Jay seems to feel empty. Like there’s a part of him that is missing that no other things can fulfill.

He already found a solution for that problem tho... And he will do everything in order to have it— more like her.

“Took you long enough.” Sunghoon stated as he walk closer to where they’re sat. Heeseung’s by the corner, eyes fixated at his phone screen. Jake’s in front of them and Jungwon’s beside him.

“What’s so important that we’re gathering here early in the morning?” he asks lazily then yawned. Sunoo rolls his eyes before focusing on Jake once again.

“Sunghoon will be executing our plan next week.” Jake announced that instantly drains Jay’s sleepiness. His senses starting to be more active as his friend walk them through the whole plan once again. Just to make sure everything will go smoothly.

“Oh yeah? Do you need help with anything?” Jay glances to Sunghoon’s side and he saw his friend’s relaxed look on his face.

He shakes his head, “Everything’s ready.”

He nods his head and continued listening to what Jake's saying. His friends are all quiet and just made sure they’re taking notes of the things he was asking to check before next week.

“There you are!” their heads snapped at the side when one voice interrupts. Jay’s brows raised at the same time at your familiar pretty face as you slightly pants after making at the bench where they’re gathered.

You sent Jay glares before glancing to the two boys standing near you, “I’m so sorry to interrupt you, Jake and Jungwon.” palms resting at your hips while panting to catch your breath.

“It’s fine, y/n. What’s up?” Jake smiles warmly.

You raised your hand and directed your pointer finger towards Jay.

“Him. I need him to come with me.” your words rings through Jay’s mind, almost making him space out completely. Some of his friends snickers chuckle secretly at how funny his reaction was.

“Jay?” Jake astounded tone made you glance at his direction. His eyes big and confused.

“He has detention and he skipped it yesterday.” you announced that made Yang Jungwon— the student council president sigh in disbelief.

Jay shrugs his shoulders off and eyed you with a small grin on his face. Your glares turned sharper as you think of many ways to end him today. He’s seriously giving you a hard time. You joined the student council for the extra points and stress is what you’re getting lately because of him.

“All right, he’s all yours.” Jungwon says and even laid his hand to the air, indicating that he’s letting you take his friend.

Jay snorted and stood up voluntarily. A playful grin plays through his sexy thin lips, “You heard the man. I’m all yours.” and he even sent you a wink.

Your cheeks blushed instantly, but you don’t make it too obvious. Instead of thinking about it too much, you swat his arm then drag him to your building. He chuckles, totally unbothered and didn’t even complained about it.

“Just admit it, y/n. You like me, don’t you?” his taunting tone made you halt your steps, ears turning red.

“Do you think I’m crazy? I don’t like you!” you hissed at him.

His smirk fell that caught you off-guard. Your face turned pale when you saw a glimpse of his eyes cold while staring at you. It was very odd. Jay’s always mischievous and always the one teasing you. He’s never been like this.

“You sure about that?” his serious tone sent direct chills to your spine, making you nervous.

“H-Huh? What’s with you...” you stuttered.

He stared at you silently for a bit more before he suddenly burst out laughing, making you furrow your brows. You stayed silent, not saying anything. You’re stunned and confuse to what’s happening.

“Did I scare you?” he continued laughing, even folding while holding his stomach that seems to start hurting from laughing so much.

Your face turned red out of anger and your hand quickly hit him by his arm. He groaned and caress it gently, eyes shooting glares at you.

“You’ve been hitting me too much lately.” he commented that you tried to ignore and started walking ahead of him.

Jay chuckles again and tried to catch up which you responded by acting like as if he’s not there. His grin grew wider at how you’re acting. He reaches for your arm and you tries to shove it off. He fails to grab you on the first two tries, then the third one his grip is tight.

“What?” tone sounding a bit annoyed.

“I thought you’re taking me to detention?”

“Your detention is later after class. I fetch you to help me grab our textbooks at the faculty room.” you cannot keep your stares that made him grin even more.

“Do I make you nervous?” he asks.

You pursed your lips and looked at him with a flashing guilt in your eyes. He suppress himself from laughing loud to prevent making you feel more embarrassed. He sighs and licks his lips.

“Let’s go, I’ll ignore it for you.” and he slide both of his hands inside his trouser’s pocket before walking towards the direction of the faculty.

Your gaze bore onto the back of his head, mind slowly spacing out. People around you often says how you two can never get along with each other. It is true. Most of the times, you two are arguing. But what other people doesn't know is that you secretly likes the bad boy, Park Jongseong.

“Saw you with Jay a while ago.” you sighed and looks at (friend name) smiling meaningfully at you.

“Don’t even start...”

She laughed, “Come on! I seriously think he likes you back. Why not confess?”

She rests her back at the railings of the corridor while you stand facing it, watching the field beneath you filled with students either playing soccer or trying to kill time until their next classes.

“It’s not that easy.” that’s true. Jay live through the days knowing that always you despise him. With how stingy you act around him, he probably have no clue. He will surely tease you to death once he knew his feelings for you. That’s honestly the last thing you wanted.

“Hmm, I know.” and your friend let out a heavy sigh.

This time, you smirked and raised an eyebrow at her.

“You basically indirectly confessed to Park Sunghoon. Almost everyone in the school knows about your feelings.”

She lets out a strained sigh and threw her head back to stare at the blue clear sky. Her pretty face is so admirable, something you can’t just miss if walking pass by her. Just like what you said, its not really a secret that she likes ‘thee’ Park Sunghoon. He’s one of Jay’s good friends and very popular with the girls as well.

“Yes. That’s so awkward.”

You stared right at her, “Why do you like Sunghoon so much?”

She glances at you, “Hey, what do you mean by that?” and she push your shoulder jokingly.

You made face, “It's just Park Sunghoon is so cold. He seems so mysterious.”

She chuckles, agreeing.

“And mysterious guys often have many secrets. You never really know.” its not that you’re being a bad friend of trying to be a kill joy. This is just you looking out for your friend, your best friend.

“That’s what I love about him.” she says bluntly, like a natural response.

It made you roll your eyes and act disgusted by it. She fights back with rolling her eyes as well that made you both giggling. Your vacant hours are perfectly spent talking about nonsense stuff, jumping from one topic to another.

Everything’s going smoothly, not until one morning. You woke up into the noise of your phone continuously ringing. When you stir from your sleep, leaving your dreamland completely, and glances at the wall clock. It’s just 4 am in the morning.

“Hello?” you answered your phone half-asleep, still dozing off a bit.

The muffled cries from the other line was like a slap that strips away the sleepiness. You momentarily pulls your phone away and checked the caller’s id. Seeing your friend’s mother’s contact instantly made you sat up from your bed.

“Auntie? What’s wrong?” you asked worriedly and reaches for the lamp beside the bed.

“Y/n...” she starts. Her heavy breaths and nonstop sniffing made you aware of how she’s crying so hard. Her strained voice is very obvious as well.

“(Friend name) is missing.” the line was clear and her words, despite being a little off, were clear. What doesn’t register to your system is what she’s trying to say.

“What do you mean missing? Hold on, Auntie.” you stood up and quickly grabbed your jacket to keep yourself from freezing then hurriedly head out.

“She didn’t come home last night! And I called your mom to check if she’s there, she said she didn’t came to your place.”

Your brows narrowed down and you saw your Mother on the phone, talking to somebody. When her eyes caught you, she signalled that she’s talking to someone important.

“Ah yes, she said her daughter didn’t come home last night... Yes, officer.”

“Mom is calling the police, Auntie. We’re going there, okay? Please calm down. I’m sure she’s all right. She probably just went somewhere and forgot to inform us.” you tried to console her while your head started to unconsciously list down places that you can go to.

After the calls to some of your Mom’s friends and the police, the two of you headed to her home to comfort her. A police car was already parked outside of the house and one officer is by the door, talking to your friend’s Mom.

Her tear stained eyes darted at you and quickly, you embraced her.

“Shh, Auntie. It’s going to be okay.” you whispered as your Mom continued talking to the officer because your friend's Mom are currently at her best state to talk.

“I’m so scared, y/n! What if she’s in trouble?” she cries hard on your shoulder that breaks your heart.

You tried to act strong in order not to make her feel down even more. She trembles in between your hug and you caress her back to somehow make her feel better.

“I'm sure she will show up. We will find her.”

Only, you didn’t. It’s been a whole week ever since your friend disappeared. Day by day its getting worst for her Mom and for you. She’s your best friend. You cherish her and she’s like a sister already. Not having her around made you feel so empty.

“Hey,” your head lifts when someone approaches your table.

It was Jay.

Usually he will have his mischievous grin, but not now. He have this soft, worried gaze while looking on you. He kept his stares, watching closely as you try so hard to pull a smile for him.

“Hi.” you greeted shortly.

He licked his lips, “I’m so sorry about (friend name).” he says that you answered with a nod.

He gestures the vacant chair beside you, asking if he can sit down and accompany you. Normally, you would decline and curse at him but a part of you wanted his presence so you nodded. He sat down quietly, eyes still darted at you.

“Any updates?” he asks.

Your eyes dropped at the stacks of missing posters in front of you, sitting at the table. A beautiful smiling picture of (friend name) printed on it and a big red ‘MISSING’ below.

“No. The police only have one person as their witness and its totally not helping.” your tone sounding so down, hopeless.

Jay sighs and rested his large hands on your back to caress it. Your eyes instantly waters, the tears you’ve been holding back starting to show. With lips slightly shaking you glanced back at him.

“J-Jay, I’m scared...” you admit, first time showing him a vulnerable side.

He was speechless, but you can see through his eyes that he’s so worried for you. He’s been noticing how you’ve been neglecting yourself ever since your friend disappeared. And its making him so sad.

“I’m so worried for her. What if something bad happened to h-her?” your voice cracks and eyes brimming with tears.

Jay was quick to console you.

“Hey,” he whispered with his softest tone then cupped your face, making you face him. “We will find her, okay?” those familiar words are the same ones you’ve been repeating to your friend's mom ever since she disappeared. Constantly repeating it to convince her and also to convince yourself.

Jay pulled your body closer to him, caging you into a tight, warm hug. Something you really needed at the moment. You cannot put into words how grateful you are that he’s there for you.

Ever since your friend vanished, things started to get messy. She’s been your comfort person and with her missing, its like you’re losing your mind.

You felt Jay’s lips on your forehead as he whispered comforting words.

“We’ll find her?” Jay stares right to his reflection at the bathroom’s mirror. He scoffs to himself, muttering low curses while washing his hand.

“How can we find someone who is not even really missing?” he mumbles and his gaze lifts as one of the bathroom stalls opened, revealing one of his close friends.

“Jay, man.” Jake and walks near the sinks to wash his own hand.

“You need to stop talking to yourself. People will think you’re crazy.” he grins teasingly at Jay and he just frowns.

Another stall opens and Sunghoon walks out from it, eyeing their direction.

“He is really crazy, tho?” he commented that earned a bark of laughter from Jake.

Jay clicked his tongue, “That’s big words from somebody who kidnaps a girl because he likes her so much?”

Sunghoon seems unbothered about his statement. Not just because it was true, but because he thinks its nonsense to argue with it. He just shrugged it off and smirked at his friend.

“You’re going to do it soon too, tho?” and starts washing his hands as well.

“Yeah, Sunghoon’s right.” Jake commented.

Jay whips his head and diverted his attention to his other friend. “Actually, you’re the crazier one.”

Sunghoon’s grin grew wider and just listens to his friends that are starting to bicker like little children. Jake complains, totally disagreeing about what Jay said.

“What? No, I’m not!”

Jay scoffed, “Really? Is it not crazy to put his girl inside a psych ward just because he learned that she’s leaving him?”

Sunghoon whistles, “I have to agree on that one, dude.”

Jake glances at Sunghoon, a hint of betrayal flashes through his eyes.

“For the record,” he starts and they look at him with eyebrows raising while waiting for his defence. Jake licks his lips as he tries to come up with a good comeback to what Jay fired at him.

“Fine!” he hissed, “And so what if I put her in ward? At least I’m sure she won’t be able to leave me, even if she wants to.” the smug smirk on his face is wide.

“Should I put mine in the ward too? Do you have a vacant room?” Sunghoon chuckles while asking that question to Jake.

“Yeah, we have vacant room for you as well.”

Jay laughed and watch how Sunghoon swat Jake’s arm. They soon decided to walk back to class. His eyes darted at your direction right away and Jay’s heart cracked at the sight of your sad face.

After class, Jay offered to help you with the missing posters and you’re very thankful for him. Their group of friends has been doing a lot and you couldn’t be more greatful. As far as you remember, none of them are personally close to you or your friend, but still with big hearts they offered to help.

While heading back to the building to get your things, your eyes unconsciously darted at one of the bulletin boards. From a distance, multiple papers are pinned to it. But one stands out the most, at least for you.

Your eyes trailed over to the tall figure that stands in front of it, staring right at the missing posters of your friend that you’ve placed their a few days ago.

The boy is very familiar to you. His fair complexion, uniform looking so neat and face looking so blank. You slowly head his direction and stood a few feet away.

“Terrifying isn’t it?” you said that caught his attention. From the corner of your eyes, you saw that he whips his head to the side and look at you.

“Do they have a lead?” he asks, almost sounding like a monotone.

That’s the first time you and him talked. Being in the same school together for years, this was the first interaction.

“Yeah, they said someone saw her being taken on her way home.” you answered.

An emotion flickers through his eyes for a split second, but it was impossible to tell what it was. He kept his blank face, eyes icy cold.

“I hope she will be found soon.” he stated.

His words are nice. It's the words you wanted to hear from most of them and you’ve heard that a lot of times already. But for some reasons, Sunghoon’s words felt empty. It slightly caught your attention. Then you realized that he’s always like that. Quiet and reserved. He’s not called the ice prince just for nothing. And so, you tried to just shrug it off and thanked him silently.

He was about to leave when you grabbed his hand. He turns his head to look at you and it made you feel on edge. His eyes are so intimidating.

“Here, in case you see her.” and you handed him a poster.

It maybe a bit stupid knowing he probably have a copy already since its been distributed to the whole school. He accepted it without any word then left. Your eyes lingers to him and watch how he walks away.

A small smile spreads across your face. “Come back now, (friend name). I can’t wait to tell you about how Sunghoon seem to worry for you.”

“So what did the detective said? Any updates?” your hand halts from holding your chopsticks because of Jay’s question.

It’s been a month ever since your friend disappeared and you grew closer with Jay. All the time, he was there to support you and comfort you.

“What?” you asked, glancing at him whose now enjoying his food. He slurps over his soup before throwing you a short glance.

“About that new detective (friend name)’s mom hired.” he repeated himself.

You stared at him without saying any word. That same emotion that you’ve been pushing at the back of your mind for weeks now. Jay’s been very nice ever since the disappearance of your friend and he fills the absence for the mean time, making sure you aren’t being too hard on yourself.

But it may sound nonsense, lately you’ve been noticing odd behavior from his friend group. Or you can say you’re sensing this weird vibe from them.

It may appear because they’re a different league that’s why, and that’s whay you try to convince yourself with. But something really doesn’t sit right for you.

Example for that is this...

How did Jay even knew about that detective your friend’s Mom secretly hired recently?

“Why are you looking at me like I’ve killed someone?” Jay chuckles awkwardly while placing an opened bottle of water in front of you.

“How did you even knew about it?” your tone sounded really curious that caught him off-guard.

He curses inside his mind, quickly thinking of a good escape to this mistake. Despite the slight panic, he tried hard to compose himself in order not to be too suspicious..

He scoffed, “What do you mean how did I know? Of course, through you.” he kept his stares to your eyes.

It made your brows narrowed, head tilting over to the side.

“Me? I told you about it?” you sound unsure about it, recalling and backtracking any past events where you might’ve mentioned it to him.

“Yes, baby.” he laughs, relieved that it shaken up the tension a bit. “What’s up with you? Seems like you are really stressing yourself too much.”

You stayed silent for a while before smiling.

“I guess you’re right. It might have slipped off my mind.”

He nods and slides a new side dish near you, “You should eat more.” he diverted the topic smoothly.

The tension dissipate and just like normally, you two went on your day. He kept talking about this place he’s been with his parents and how much he wanted to take you there this weekend to help you relax a bit. You tried so hard to listen, dismissing that negative thought off of your mind.

But it didn’t. Instead, it made you more observant over his group of friends. Giving meanings to every normal or little things they do.

“I’m on my way home now.” you said through the phone while going out from the bookstore.

Jay’s on the other line, calling to check on you after hanging out with his friends. According to him, practice ended earlier so they decided to go have fun.

“All right. I’m also near my house. Call me once you’re home?” he says softly.

“Hmm, take care.” you hummed.

“You too baby, i love you.”

Your heart races, mixed of emotions occupies you. These days, after being suspicious of him, your feeling starts to get shaken a bit. It made you realize how much you still don’t know about Jay.

After spending a lot of times together, you still barely know him. Except for the fact that he’s Park Jongseong, the rich bad boy from your school who happens to have feelings for you all this time.

“Y/n?” he calls you lightly that snaps you back to reality.

“Y-Yeah?”

“I said I love you.”

You gulped, “I l-love you too.”

The other line went silent for a while before you heard Jay’s gentle hum. He always does that whenever he’s satisfied hearing you say those words to him.

Before its also felt so good whenever you say it to him. You meant it with all your heart, but right now, you aren’t sure anymode. You still love him, after all you’ve been interested to him for a long time. It’s just, a mix of fear envelops those feelings.

Your eyes then caught the person you’ve been waiting for hours already.

Park Sunghoon.

“I’ll call you later, Jay.”

“Okay, stay safe.” he says in a low tone and ended the call.

Today, you made a bold decision to tail Park Sunghoon. He’s on your top list of suspicious people that are potentially involve to your friend’s disappearance.

He walks towards the bus stop and you can tell from the way his shoulder’s hanging low, he’s dead tired. Probably because of practice and hanging out with his friends.

You tried not to be too suspicious, making sure your presence is not noticeable. But Sunghoon usually don’t care about his surroundings. He just mind his own business and go on with his life. If he’s not involve or any of people he’s close with, he does not care.

As you approach him closer, you noticed him pulling out something from his pocket. At first, its so hard to tell what it is. But once you get a clear view, your stomach drops and heart felt like it stopped beating. Head empty as your feet moves on its own.

“W-Why do you have that?” you couldn’t help but to stutter and fear consumed you when he whips his head at your direction.

Sunghoon’s face remained emotionless. He doesn’t even look guilty at all or caught off-guard by your presence. It was like he was expecting it, like he knew you were there, following him.

“This is mine.” were his words.

Your eyes remained looking at him with such horror, tears brimming. With trembling lips you shake your head.

“N-No... that’s (friend name)’s! I gave it to her! My granda made that.”

You can’t be wrong. It’s impossible to have the exact same handkerchief. Your granda personally made that for you and your friend.

He took a step closer that made you instantly step back in fear. You roamed your eyes around and her heart fell at the sight of the bus stop being totally isolated. It is already a bit late and so there are a few people here. It's just the two of you.

The thought of being here with the possible reason why (friend name) went missing scared you to death.

“W-What did you do to her?” your tone sounded so accusing as your fist balls to prevent it from shaking. With clenched jaw, you gather all the courage to look over his deadpanned face.

He was just caught red handed but he seemed unbothered at all. He approached and caught (bestfriend’s name) off guard. She hit him with her bag and he was stunned for a moment.

You just caught him red handed, but he seemed so unbothered. He took a step closer that caught you off-guard and made you hit him with your bag. Something got caught with his gym bag and when you look down, your favorite keychain lays beneath his feet.

“Where is y/n?! Give her back!” you tried screaming through your lungs, hoping that someone may hear and help you.

And someone did. That person slowly and quietly looms closer, taking advantage of your full attention being on Sunghoon to take action.

Sunghoon turned his head towards you and you can’t describe what you felt when you met his cold dark eyes, “You will never find her, no one will.” and with that, he advanced making you scream in fear.

“Quiet, baby.” from your back, an arm hold you still, tugging your body closer to theirs. His free hand then went towards your face to cover you with a cloth, that slowly took your consciousness away.

Even before you can react and try freeing yourself, Jay’s familiar face came into your view.

“Shh, its all right. I’m here.” his whispers are muffled as everything slowly became black.

Sunghoon slid his hands inside his pockets while watching Jay fixed his hold on you. Eventually, a familiar black SUV parked near where they’re at then one of Jay’s men went outside to assist him.

He carries your unconscious body easily then carefully placed it inside the SUV. Sunghoon was just there, silently watching. His eyes roams around to check if there’s anybody to witness what they’re doing.

“Perfect.” Jay whispers and pants with a smile.

He closes the door to their car and glances at Hoon, still standing by the bus stop. He nods his head with a thumbs up that his friend only nonchalantly responded with a nod.

After Jay went inside the car and drove off along with you. Sunghoon trudges towards the bench when he stepped on something. He looked down and saw your keychain that fell off a while ago.

He sighs and picked it up. He stared at it for a while and realized that (friend name) had the exact same keychain. A small smile appears across his face, remembering you. His head perks up after hearing the arrival of the bus and as he walks towards it, he unconsciously slides the keychain inside his pocket.

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terezis · 1 year ago

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ok here's the hot goss from the nycc taz gn panel

i don't actually know whether or not it was recorded/ if they're going to put it online so here is my summary. also if i miss anything and u were there pls feel free to chime in. spoilers obviously!!!

got eight new preview pages (four two-page spreads), not the pages on the macmillan website!!!

ok i will tell u about those pages but the main thing discussed at the panel was how they went about adapting this arc into gn form. the actual time spent in wonderland has been trimmed a lot bc they had to think about what was actually important to the narrative as they are building to story and song.

basically in planning out the suffering game they also really had to decide what the rest of the series would look like, bc whatever they include now is seeding the stuff that's going to happen later.

cam is not in this book. it was implied there's less wheel spins. rowan/ash/sterling get much less screen time

almost half of this book is lunar interlude stuff (pre and post suffering game, INCLUDING REUNION TOUR!!! no word on where it ends but they made it clear that a LOT of thought went into what to include and where to end it, and what that would mean for the next book)

ok so about those preview pages

first one was post-taakitz date with kravitz sensing a lich and the umbra staff shooting at him <3 <3 <3

i thought they were going to show us the preview pages that were on macmillan so when i saw kravitz i was so shook

second spread was magnus visiting the voidfish, which now happens right before they leave for wonderland; the whole beginning of tsg from magnus trying to talk to pringles to him kidnapping those guards to the chimera fight was cut LOL bc it never really got… addressed again in the podcast

angus comes to get him for the mission but magnus has been going Through It (outright stated, they were like. he found out he's a red robe. he would probably not be handling it well. he has eyebags now. LOL) and snaps at angus when angus presses him on what's wrong.

more angus content, he will be investigating what's going on at the bureau more (his scene w magnus ties into this)

same for lucretia! more content/ stuff for her to do

third spread was merle w his kids getting saved by the red robe, is at a carnival instead of a random street this time LOL

last one was the boys arriving just outside of wonderland

wonderland looks fuckign cool

what else… oh confirmed like eighty panels of bare ass naked magnus after he gets his body back. so i think we really are getting the full reunion tour this book???

ALSO NAKED BARRY COVERED IN SLIME. WHEN HE GETS OUT OF THE POD. CONFIRMED. CANON. LOL

omg ALSO!!! ben (editor) said he campaigned REALLY HARD to have the umbra staff break during the suffering game, freeing lup early, bc he really wanted more time with her, but griffin campaigned really hard NOT to do this, and in doing so his arguments solved a lot of other problems they had been having at the time LOL

travis is the fans' champion when the others get too edit-happy. he's the one who has a good idea of what moments are important to the readers so he's like hey… too far. don't cut that. and then they don't

justin leaves great notes and when they couldn't figure stuff out ben would often say "no it's fine justin will solve this." and he ALWAYS DID

this was news to justin

??? i think that's all the main points honestly i'm v picky about adaptations but overall i feel like these are good changes that make sense when translating the podcast to gn

that said i do hope taako still gets a washing machine dropped on him <3 do this for me carey <3

#taz #taz balance #taz gn #taz gn spoilers #the suffering game #sorry it's long it was just SO juicy #didn't even mention them talkign about all the like technical art stuff carey also talked about color/panel composition to convey #info and mood

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anonymous-dentist · 11 months ago

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A Very Long qRoier Theory

Okay so here's what I actually think, and TRUST THE PROCESS OKAY:

I think that Roier really was kidnapped by the Federation, but I don't think that he was taken because he was looking for Cellbit strictly because the Feds themselves are actually more or less actively searching for the missing islanders and hoping for their return so they can continue the murder investigation. Despite the terrible things going on, the Feds legitimately want all their islanders/lab rats back on the island so they can continue with whatever experiment they're holding. Every time Cucurucho has held a meeting recently, it's asked about the status of the missing islanders, so it really wouldn't make sense for it or the Feds as a whole to punish their one single lead in the case when every actual Federation agent assigned to the case has either come up with nothing or disappeared entirely.

Nah, I think Roier was taken because he was vulnerable and because the Feds figured nobody would've missed him. They know that he isn't really super close with anybody on the island but Cellbit, and they know that he's been actively pushing people away for a while now- basically since Bobby's death, and moreso since his return from Purgatory.

Looking at the QSMP channel's streams, particularly Elena's, we know that the Feds seem to be a pharmaceutical company. They, simply speaking, make drugs. Look at the "happy pills" that Elena helped create, this is what the Feds do.

Roier mentioned that he was drugged. He never said that they stopped drugging him. I think he's still being drugged and that he isn't a rat- not a literal one, anyway.

I think that Roier is still under the effects of the drugs he's being given because he is currently a test subject. He's a lab rat.... at the moment, anyway.