#probably hard to get near lucifer tbh

[cherubchoirs]

angelic beelzebub i think....he was a cherub made specifically to guard lucifer and was the strongest of his choir, fighting harder than any other for lucifer's cause during the war. he took many of god's angels but was eventually stalled by gabriel, who distracted him long enough for michael to cast lucifer out of heaven. beelzebub has never forgotten his grave error and forever regrets how he failed lucifer when he needed him most.

[inflammatoryfandomblog]

Tbh that Aaravos being responsible for every conflict in the last millenia gives me major degenerate cospiracy theory vibes and of this quote of a show that I am not a fan of https://youtu.be/Mq1EphvZGMg

I like how the greatest danger coming from him is implied to continue rickrolling and "trust me bro" some mages (which he already does?) rather than possessing magnificent cosmic powers?

The main characters get dragged along with the plot of stopping him without stopping and reflecting for a moment, you could literally ask them why he needs to be stopped and it'll be something like, "because he is making stoopid humans do war against xadia, duh"

And Apparently Ezran's ancestor/dynasty founder from 300 years ago betrayed him? And humans, elves and drakes worked together to imprison him? Yet their relationship still didn't improve at all??

Yeah I prefer reading dnd's filled to the brim complicated lore over what that is, a villain whose motives you do not know until this point isn't interesting and I yet haven't seen anything morally gray about him and I don't think he should be near women for some reason. His ruthless actions make sense in the situation he is in, I guess, but he is still an asshole?

Like what does he want? Become an Archon with his mindslave mages?

Lmfao the Diamonds from Steven Universe were more menacing

i wouldn't lob that at the showrunners; i mean obviously conspiracy theories like the illuminati have been pretty far-right in recent years, which has made some plots that involve them a bit uncomfortable in retrospect. but the far-right aren't the only people to fall for them, and for fiction they're an attractive way to have the focus on the characters rather than writing a societal treatise or whatever. dealing with Issues that require consideration is hard, writing wise; it's much simpler to have a final boss.

i think it's just sort of easy to show that a character is an mastermind by having them be responsible for literally everything. aaravos is more like lucifer than an expy of any group of people, i mean he's a fallen star and seems to have heavenly brothers/people, you can't really get more on the nose than that.

which like, the concept isn't *inherently* bad even if i hate it, like aaravos could just be successful because maybe he exploits faults that were already there in society in the first place or he's a metaphor for something, or whatever. it could work in theory, but this sort of plotline is so botched like a good 99.99% of the time (so much so that just the use of this trope is a pretty big red flag) and without a lot of work it really DOES undermine the "cycle of violence" theme completely if everything is the fault of one guy.

the dragon prince is just not good at showing the different sides of any issue with any depth of consideration, especially when it comes to the human side, so i'm not really holding my breath.

as for his motivation, idk the fact that the dragons are so afraid of him and that he could solo them means that he has a lot of power, he just wants to fuck about for some other issue other than just to gain power, like maybe revenge against somebody else (or to gain power over bigger fish than the dragons/elves and fucking about lets him do that), probably because he wants to stick it to his former star-people or whatever. who knows, there are literally no hints in the show as to why he might do this. it doesn't really matter to our characters or literally any other conflict that has emotional weight behind it, so i don't really care.

yeah the fact that a human was the one to bring to light aaravos's deception is... kind of weird, that the relations didn't improve at all. on one hand it probably explains why the dragons have been more ambivalent about humans than the "kill on sight" border patrolling policy they have would suggest (though at least one, rex igeneous, seems to disagree with it.) on the other hand... there's that "kill on sight" border patrolling policy they have, and also you'd think the existence of a primal human mage wouldn't be unknown for the first few season if she was literally buddies with a queen pivotal to the history of katolis. but the whole “callum is the only person ever to have wanted to be a primal mage badly enough” is not as compelling as the writers think it is.

"i don't think he should be near women for some reason." yeah. in his interactions with the female characters there's this very harass-y element to how he's portrayed (for example, khessa's death--not the obliteration itself, how he handles it just before). he also uses the word "ravishing" unironically, which... lmao. tryhard reddit vocabulary.

[moemammon]

Could I request HC of MC falling asleep on the brothers and someone asks them to do something but they don’t want to move bc of MC🥺 kinda like how it’s illegal to move if an animal is asleep on you🥺💕 thank you!

I'm soft for stuff like this tbh

The Demon Brothers react to GN!MC falling asleep on them

Lucifer

Lucifer has found that he works best when you're near him. Something about your presence calms his old soul. So it's become a habit that he has you near while he's going through paperwork, always touching you in some fashion.

Today, you were resting your head against his shoulder in the late afternoon, the warmth of his body and the sound of his pen scribbling on paper lulling you into a sense of peace and sleepiness.

He looked over after noticing the added weight against his side, and found you'd drifted off to sleep. And man.... this man realizes just how soft he is for you. Like, can you BE any cuter??? You're gonna kill him.

He feels a warmth swell up in his chest, not only from his affection for you, he the way you seem so peaceful sleeping against him like that. The fact that you feel secure with him, while others only seem to fear him, makes his heart fill to the brim.

But now he can't move, or you'll wake up. And to make matters worse, he just heard a loud ass crash in the hall right outside, and the sound of Mammon cursing under his breath. MAMMOOONNNNN-

As much as it pains him, he doesn't have the strength to get up while you look so content and secure sleeping against him like this. Besides, he can always kill punish Mammon later. He’d just text Beel to string him up from the ceiling until then.

Mammon

It's not unusual for the two of you to chill on the couch together, and he doesn't even care that you're all over him. Actually, he's probably the one that pulled you into such a position.

You're laying on his chest, and he's got his arms around you while he plays around on his phone. And that's when he notices the tiniest of snores coming from you. He looks down and sees that you've fallen asleep.

FUCK does that make him wanna scream. His heart is so full of love that he's literally trembling. You were so.. sO CUTE. IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL. HE LOVES YOU, DAMN IT.

But then he gets a text from Lucifer, asking him to go back to RAD to fetch some documents. Why'd he have to be his errand boy all the time? Why not Satan??

Mammon is no stranger to Lucifer's wrath though, so now he has a strong need to get you off of him, yet an equally strong need to hold you close.

Especially when you mumble something that sounded vaguely like his name in your sleep. Maybe... it’d be fine to let you rest a little longer? It's not like those lousy papers were going anywhere, right?

Levi

You????? Felt comfortable enough to sleep on him?????? In the middle of a movie he put on????

There's practically steam coming out of his ears. He's short circuiting. He's going to die and it's all your fault. WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE YOURE JUST SLEEPING ON HIS ARM AND YET THE MOE IS TOO STRONG-

Seriously though, he's so red up to his ears that you'd think he might die. The only thing that keeps him from death is that you aren't awake to look at him. He was safe!

But then a notification pops up on his D.D.D, and he suddenly remembers he’s got a tournament to compete in with a couple of online friends! He promised them!!!

Maybe... he'll wake you up? No no no, he'd really die if that happened! You can't wake up yet!! But the game-! The dungeon run-!! The loot!!! What can he do?! There's no way he can ruin this 'straight-out-of-an-anime' moment!!!

Levi's never been one to miss a chance to game, so why was he so conflicted?! Now he was thinking that maybe he could just reschedule the match? Besides, when was the next time he might get to see your sleeping face so close to his own? He wonders if he could sneak in a picture or two...

Satan

Satan's entire room, albeit cluttered, has a cozy vibe. Just the way he likes, as a man who prefers to keep calm and indulge in the wonders of books. And he's invited you over to indulge with him, per usual

Though he'll admit it IS a little late, so he understands that you're sleepy. It doesn't even surprise him when you slump against his arm from your position next to him, the book on your lap sliding to the ground.

As much as it pains him to see the book fall like that, he quickly realizes he can't bend down to grab it, or you'll wake up.

And he hasn't had a chance to really look closely at your sleeping expression, so he has to get his priorities in order. He could get that boom later, anyway.

He laughs at you, and how easily you've fallen asleep. Why didn't you just tell him you were tired? He’d walk you back to your room so you could sleep. Yet you wanted to spend time with him so badly that you pushed through?

He closes his book and leans his head against yours with a soft sigh. Peaceful days like this were all he could ever ask for. He wished he had a spell to preserve this moment forever.

Asmo

Helloooo? Are you even listening anymore?? He was in the middle of telling you about the time Beel ate his entire collection of bath bombs, and you fell asleep right on his lap!

Probably because he was making you lay there while he dabbed products onto your face. "This one is a great toner. Doesn't it smell good? And this moisturizer here is sooo creamy!"

He can't help but notice how peaceful you look laying there, fast asleep. He could just eat you up! Catch him leaning in to kiss you a million times, wondering if you'll wake up.

He's gotta put that kissing on hold when he realizes he has a photo shoot to get to in an hour! He'd need every single minute to get himself ready of course, so he needed to start now. The only problem was... you. On his lap.

He can't get up or he’d be cruelly abandoning his precious MC! And there was no way he’d be that heartless. But that photo shoot was pretty important... How else would he give the devildom its dose of his gorgeous face???

Cue Satan coming in and finding Asmo doing his skin care on his bed, straining to see his reflection in the far away vanity mirror... all so he wouldn't disturb a hair on your adorable little head.

Beel

Beel had asked if you'd lay on his back for extra weight while he did his planks, but he never expected you to fall asleep there. Belphie does the same thing sometimes, so he's no stranger to having to stay still for someone else's sake.

The warmth of your form draped over his back makes him smile, and he wonders if you're cozy laying like that. Wasn't his back kind of hard?

He was fine with waiting until you woke up, since being stuck in a plank for an unknown amount of time would be a great workout, what wasn't so great was the gnawing of hunger slowly starting to creep up on him.

Beel was hungry. Starving, even. And he was stuck because you fell asleep on him. He tried muttering a soft "MC, wake up" as a means to gently wake you, but when you didn't budge, he wondered if he might die like this.

The longer he waited, the more his hunger built. It was five minutes. Ten minutes. Twenty, and then- he lost it.

You wake up to being suddenly dumped onto the cold floor, and you only catch a glimpse of the avatar of gluttony rushing off to empty the fridge of its contents.

He'll apologize when he's full, okay? He promises he loves you, but his hunger is no joke. Promises to treat you to Madam Scream's later as an apology.

Belphie

Not unexpected that you'd fall asleep while in Belphie's care. He had a knack for that sort of thing, bringing the air around him to a sleepy halt and making your eyes heavy with that smooth voice of his.

You were listening to him talk about the old days, when he and Beel would sneak away from their brothers to have their own adventures. Then the next thing you knew, you were drifting off to sleep.

Belphie immediately noticed when your head leaned against his hand; he’d been toying around with your hair and occasionally stroking your cheeks. This was one of those moments he didn't feel like bullying you, after all.

But now he kind of does. You were so innocent, and so vulnerable right now! He could tickle you awake at any moment and you wouldn't be able to stop him at all... Though he doesn't.

He instead looks up when the door opens and Beel pops into the bedroom to ask if Belphie can help him find his jacket. There's no way he’d deny his brother, sooo sorry mc. He hesitates for two seconds, but he's leaving you.

Belphie is a sleep expert, and that includes his mastery of the art of not waking people up, so somehow he's managed to carefully maneuver around you so you're still fast asleep.

Leaves you with a little kiss and tucks you into his bed. He'll come tickle you to death later 💕

[exchangestudentmicha]

Demon Headcannons for the Brothers

AKA I can’t name shit and I am a monster fucker

Also to the person who commented that my last headcannons post was for monster fuckers, this entire blog is for monster fuckers lol

Lucifer

When he’s in his demon form you may notice him puff up and shake his wings a bit, he says its to stretch his wings, but if you pay attention he doesn’t seem to do it around anyone else

He has some big ass talons that he can bring out at will, and holy shit are they SHARP. Like, you know how when a knife is sharp enough it can cut through things like cardboard with little to no effort? Yeah, they’re that sharp

His wings are exceptionally soft and have a beautiful sheen to them, he takes good care of them after all. (That is when his wings aren’t molting)

Yes, he molts. And he hates it. His wings look scruffy and they get pretty itchy, not to mention his feathers get EVERYWHERE. Like they will pop up all around the House of Lamentation for about 3 months after he’s done molting

Mammon

He doesn’t just steal actual valuables, he steals any shiny things that he likes. You’ve actually found a box full of random shiny objects in his room before. Some of them are from his crow familiars, some are just from him finding/stealing them

You’ve seen him on multiple occasions, hopping in the hallways like a crow. It usually only happens when he’s excited though

His wings are very soft, not as soft as Lucifer’s or Asmo’s, but still very soft. And he loves to wrap you in them, even if he doesn’t admit it. He will take any chance that he can find to do it.

Think I’m joking? Spend the night in his room once. If you wake up before him you’ll find that his wing is draped over you like a blanket. And if he isn’t in one of his tsundere moods, you may find him wrapping you up in his wings when he hugs you. (This boi loves you so damn much just hug him)

Levi

He does the snake tongue thing when in his demon form, and yes, he adamantly denies that he does, but you’ve seen him do it multiple times

Speaking of snake stuff though, yes, he can unhinge his jaw. He did it once to eat a taco in the middle of a raid that he was playing through with some of his friends. You still can’t decide if it was horrifying or awesome (or for my monster fuckers like me out there, arousing)

He has venom that he can control whether to inject it or not, its a mix between a neurotoxin and a hemotoxin. So when you’re injected with it your blood starts clotting as you suffocate to death from your muscles not working

Levi does shed his skin every now and then, and he HATES it since he’s usually confined to his tank for a couple days to help him shed and his skin gets all tight and itchy before it happens

Satan

Has hissed at Lucifer at least once in front of you

He doesn’t really show off many horse traits (or more unicorn traits) for his symbolic animal being a unicorn, instead he just acts like a cat

Like, fully a cat.

The only person that he constantly likes affection from is you, with his brothers, depends on the hour, just like a cat. Also, you could’ve sword you’ve seen him cleaning himself with his tongue before, he denies it whenever you ask however

Also, he can breathe green fire. He doesn’t do it much however. It only really happens when he’s exceptionally angry. Like Lucifer did something to piss him off, Mammon stole a magic tome of his that’s from like 1000 year ago and is now irreplaceable, and Levi is playing his video games so he can’t download Ebooks all in the same day angry. Its pretty hard to get him that angry, but when he does you’ll see green fire come from his nose (and see him destroy the House of Lamentation) Its one of the few times that not even Lucifer will confront him

Asmo

He glows under UV light in his demon form, just like scorpions. Y’all found out when you found a video of a person finding scorpions with a blacklight and tried it on Asmo. He now shows it off at any party he goes to

He does actually have a scorpion tail, he just doesn’t bring it out much though.

He does have venom he can use with his scorpion tail, its a mix between a neurotoxin that paralyzes you and an extremely powerful aphrodisiac

In fact, his venom is used in a popular aphrodisiac sold on Akuzon, just with the neurotoxin removed

His charm is ridiculously strong, like, he can probably get nearly anyone to do whatever he wanted, but funnily enough he doesn’t usually use it that much for nefarious means. In fact, usually the worst that he does with it is help his brothers with pranks. He doesn’t see a point in using it to get the people he wants, his looks and natural charisma usually work just as well for that stuff.

Beel

Dude has tried eating at least one of everything in the Devildom, and I don’t just mean food. Remember the pillar incident? Or the Little Ds in Levi’s game? Yeah those are nowhere near the oddest things he’s shoved into his mouth. There’s a reason why Asmo doesn’t buy fruit scented products after all

He does actually have a tail with a stinger on it, its just usually retracted so you don’t see it since its hidden under his jacket

Just like his buggy and snek brothers he has venom as well. It’s technically not as bad as his brother’s venom since it won’t directly kill you, but since it causes pure, agonizing pain, its still not fun at all. But thankfully, just like Levi, he can decide whether to inject it or not. Which is good since his stinger also doubles as an ovipositor

His tongue is really long, like it can extend up to a foot long and is actually a bit rough, do what you please with this information, I know I will ;)

Belphie

His eyes glow in the dark. And you didn’t know until you woke up in the middle of the night and saw a pair of glowing magenta eyes staring at you

He can actually float through using his magic, in fact, he sometimes does it in his sleep, and yes that means you’ve walked into his room and seen him sleeping on the ceiling. He just usually doesn’t float because he’s too lazy

Beel’s and Belphie’s link is honestly kinda crazy. Usually its pretty tame, but sometimes it can border on freaky. They can usually have a rough guess on what the other is feeling, they can feel if something is wrong with the other, and you swear, they always seem to sneeze at the same time.

Just like his brother (and just like a cow tbh) his tongue is also kinda rough, but nowhere near as long as Beel’s

[obeymefictionwriting]

Hi! I read your uggly Betty hc! And I was wondering if you could do one where the MC snaps (in anger/crying/ both) when the brother says something nasty. And then how the feel afterwards and how they would make it up. Know that was long but that would be so cool! If your busy I totally understand! Much love ❤

Aw, another sweet request! Love doing these ^^

Lucifer

He is so furious at first that he doesn’t really realize how much he hurt you.

Turns away and breathes deeply to cool down.

When turning back, is stunned to see you crying silently.

Tries to embrace you and is even more stunned when you hit his hand and ducks his embrace.

Did he hurt you THAT bad?

Is absolutely broken inside and honestly has zero idea how to fix things up

Like, he wanna hug you but he is also unsure whether you want it.

Finally, grabs your chin and slowly lifts your face up

“I am so sorry, I never meant to hurt you”

Kisses your hand and sotly pulls you to him. 

Will stay with you until you are 100% okay

Mammon

No, YOU LISTEN TO HIM, YOU STUPID HU...

Hey hey hey, wait, why are you cryin?!

Ugh he didn’t mean it, okay?

Is torn between running away and screaming his lungs out and comforting you.

Is actually the first time he sees you screaming and crying like that so honestly, no idea what to do.

Just sits near you and silently admits he was wrong.

It’s because he was feeling so hopeless, okay?!

Stands on his knees and looks you in the eyes, asking yo forgive him. And he means it 100%

Leviathan

This guy is really scary in his rage but he’d never expect you to be SO FURIOUS with him.

[for the next 2 hours you two scream at each other]

The House of Lamentation is shaking

Is so involved in arguing that misses the moment when you break down

Oh. Oh no.

Immediately turns from a furious demon lord into an anxious otaku

W-w-wait, don’t cry!

Brings you water to calm you down.

Will probably run around the room, looking for something that would help

Once you calm down, he will break down too because he was so NERVOUS this whole time.

Now it’s your turn to tell him it’s okay

Satan

As an Avatar of Wrath, he is known for his temper but he’d never expect you to snap back.

His first desire is to immediately teach you a lesson because no human being can talk to him in such voice.

He then remembers it’s you in front of him, not a random creature.

His look scared you and he feels sorry and angry at the same time.

He has no idea how to make it up to you because he never did that before, to be honest.

Okay, here we go.

He hugs you, kisses you on the forehead and says “I love you” looking in your eyes.

Also lets you punch him as much as you need to let the anger out.

Asmodeus

Tbh, Asmo in rage is really unexpected and scary.

So scary that you, in fact, start uncontrollably sobbing the second you saw him this way.

No matter how pissed he feels, the moment he sees tears on your face, he cools down.

After all, Asmo 100% cares about people whom he love and he can’t be mean to them!

“Aw I am so sorry, love. Sorry I did not manage to control my emotions”

It was partially your fault, tbh, but he is too kind to point at that.

“There, there. Listen, let’s go take a wonderful warm bath, shall we? And sweets? Huh? There you go, dear”.

Promises to never ever hurt you again.

Beelzebub

It sure takes a special skill to piss Beelzebub off but somehow you two ended getting in a fight.

Okay, he didn’t mean to shout at you but he just couldn’t help it.

And he def did not expect you to... shout back?

Oh. You are intimidating.

No, he doesn’t like that. Can we go back to the time when everything was nice and sweet?

Not that he doesn’t understand how important arguments sometimes are, he hates the thought that he can make you feel bad.

His face says so much that you notice it and immediately cool down.

He will be very patient in asking you what’s wrong and how can you negotiate.

*Perfect boyfriend check*

Belphegor

He’ll say all kind of mean nasty things to you when you piss him off just because your words hurt him so much.

Oh, SO NOW YOU SNAPPED AT HIM?

Honestly, he was about to destroy you for a moment but realizes it’s you, not an enemy.

He is horrible at controlling himself when it comes to arguments.

Will need some time to cool down.

50% chance he will approach you first; 50% you’ll need to.

Though he knows he was wrong, he hates to admit it.

Okay, he will approach you because he does love you. It’s just hard and ihe hates it and yes, the 2007 emo boy vibes are here.

[otakusheep15]

MC Coming Out as Trans

I am trans (FTM) myself, and I find that writing about it helps with my dysphoria a bit, so I thought I would do just that. I know that everyone experiences dysphoria differently, but these are based on my own personal experiences. 

Also, this was written assuming that MC is coming out after getting close to the brothers. It also assumes that the brother being referred to in their respective scenario is the first one MC comes out to. 

Lucifer

Doesn’t really care all that much tbh

That isn’t to say that he rejects you or anything. It’s just that it changes nothing about how he sees you

Will offer to change your name and pronouns in any official work if you so desire

One of the best at keeping a secret, though he hates having to misgender/deadname you in public

Supports any decision you make regarding coming out

 If you want to tell the others right away, he’ll stand right next to you to make sure they all know what will happen if they say or do anything to upset you

If you want to wait, he’ll keep it a secret as long as you need him too

He’d even be willing to come out for you if you’re too afraid to do so

Mammon

Confused lol

You might have to explain it to him before he fully understands

P R O T E C T I V E 

Will not hesitate to fight someone who misgenders/deadnames you

Has a hard time keeping it secret, but he tries his best

Encourages you to tell his brothers since he knows they’ll be supportive. He won’t force you to if you really don’t want to though

If and when you do decide to tell his brothers, he’ll be standing near you to show his support 

A great person to go to if you need a confidence boost. He loves giving you compliments and affection even if he doesn’t admit it

Leviathan

Is super honored you decided to go to him first

Probably also has some online friends who are trans, so he has a pretty basic understanding of how it all works

Doesn’t leave his room that often, so he isn’t there to protect you if someone misgenders you, but he’s a good source of comfort if you feel upset about it later

Tries to find games and anime involving trans characters to make you feel more included

Understands the anxiety you may feel about telling the other brothers, so he tries to help you figure out a plan

Suggests texting the group chat so that you don’t have to talk to them in person (it’s what he would do)

Satan

Already has a decent idea of what being trans means since he reads a lot

No one dares to make fun of you around him lest they be killed on the spot 

Recommends you books he thinks has decent representation

Is always asking you questions since he’s curious about what being trans is like

Only stops if you tell him you feel uncomfortable with all of the questions

Really good at keeping it a secret for as long as you want him too

Gets really mad every time he’s forced to misgender you in public

Tries to help you boost your confidence if you’re nervous to tell the others

Offers to let you practice on him if you think it’ll help 

Like Lucifer, he’ll stand behind you the whole time to make sure all of them know exactly what’s gonna happen to them if they say anything out of line

Asmodeus

Becomes even more clingy, if that’s even possible

WILL take you out shopping for a whole new wardrobe. No, you do not have a choice

Number one hype man. Refuses to let you feel even a shred of doubt about how you present

He may not beat people up for treating you badly, but they’re social life will be over in an instant if they so much as look at you the wrong way

Tries his best to keep it a secret, but he accidentally lets it slip to Satan at one point or another

Clings to you the entire time you come out to his brothers in order to make you feel more at ease

Beelzebub

Definition of “He’s confused, but he’s got the spirit”

Offers you food after you tell him

Also offers to work out with you if you ever feel dysphoric about your physicality

If he’s around you, no one ever dares to BREATHE in your general direction, let alone say something insulting

Is good at keeping it a secret. Refuses to even tell Belphie, which is a lot for him since he usually tells him everything

Feels so guilty every time he has to refer to you in public since he knows how upset it makes you

Sits with the rest of the brothers while you tell them and gives you a reassuring smile the whole time

Belphegor

Too tired to care lol

In all seriousness, he is really supportive

Gives you cuddles when you feel especially dysphoric

Good at keeping it a secret since he’s asleep most of the time, but might let it slip to Beel when he’s sleep talking

Feels bad of he has to misgender you, so he usually just refers to you with gender neutral names like “The Human” or something

Suggests you come out to Beel first since he knows Beel will be supportive as well

Like Levi, he also recommends telling the others over text 

Will obliterate anyone who upsets you including his brothers

[undead-merman]

TRES LECHES DIAVOLO TRES LECHES DIAVOLO TRES LECHEEESSS it's soooo good

salted caramel is my fAVORITE TOOOOO DIA TITTIES FTW but it's so hard to find anywhere. after that it's coffee. sdfgkhg imagine lucifer drinking so much coffee his milk comes out black like his souuullll skdfjhgldgf

(also saga of merman going "i despise lucifer" and me going "<3 <3 <3 i love your yandere lucifer fics so much <3 he is so perfectly wicked but also affectionate/loving you balance them so well <3 <3 <3" sdfkghlfgd. IF HATE LUCI THEN WHY WRITE SO GOOD?? FOR HIM?? HOW? XD)

i'm an absolute MEANACE of a being tbh so like. consider. biting... the nib,, what does demon blood taste like? skdlhghdg i mean probably its poisonous but still. i want,,, chomp,

imagine one of the brothers getting like. a piercing that they can put candies at the end of or something. just to get. a lil nip. add some flavor. keep you coming back for more ksdjhflgh

Shit, why didn't I think of that? Sucking on the prince's tits and having such a delicious flavor. If it weren’t for the fact that he was a demon, you'd think you were in heaven. For Lucifer, I don't know. I truly don't know why I write him so well. It pisses me off. I hate stuck-up guys like him. It's on sight for me. Enemies to lovers? No, Enemies to Nemises. But if he had coffee milk, I'm not sure what I'd do. I love coffee. Every morning I enjoy a nice cup of coffee before trying to go on a walk.

Demon blood I feel like boils when exposed to human realm air, so it's horrifically hot. But if you had a perfect seal on it, you could drink it. It might taste like the best thing you've ever put in your mouth or the worst. And certain demons might never let you near their nips again if you bite.

Piercings? Oh fuck. piercings are hot as hell. Tongue piercings so you can feel them when they lick and suck on you. Lip piercings for when you make out. Bellybutton piercings as a sign of ownership. Giving your demons one and it becomes sensitive overtime, like a second pact mark. Such a vulnerable part of a person, just so much soft skin and that small piece of metal. I love it. But a nipple piercing with candy on the end? That's my downfall. Have some caramel on Beelzebub’s and lick and suck while sitting on his lap. Rutting against his thigh or grinding against his erection while licking and sucking all while rubbing his pecs. Let him cum in his pants while you eat him up.

[miikewheelers]

demon bros - crying headcanons

bc this is clearly a great thing to write at 2 am 🥴

lucifer

does this man even cry???? .......ok let’s be honest, he’s SUPER good at hiding his feelings, he doesn’t talk about his emotions a lot but at the same time he can repress it really well

he doesn’t really cry that much at all. he doesn’t like showing his feelings that much but when he does get emotional or upset around you, especially if he cries, then that is an ultimate sign of trust

he’s a quiet crier. you won’t hear anything much more than a few sniffs and huffs. he’s pretty clean too and won’t hesitate to reach for a tissue the instant he feels the tears welling at his eyelids or like something’s about to drip out of his nose

the best way to comfort him is to sit near him and let him vent, he’s hesitant with physical contact but a comforting hand on his knee or his shoulder is good. another sign of trust is if he leans into your touch or takes your hand in his

mammon

he’s probably the most easily emotional of all the brothers tbh. like we’ve seen him cry during romcoms in the game and that hard exterior of his?? that uncaring and brash attitude he gives off?? it’s all a cover-up to his true soft nature

now hear me out: HE IS AN UGLY CRIER. like, his cheeks and his nose will be all wet with tears and snot and a bit of sweat too, he is absolutely a mess omg. you’d better not be wearing a nice shirt when he comes to you in tears bc he’s gonna be getting tears and snot everywhere

when he cries he most often huffs and puffs and lets out these short but intense sobs

immediately get him a tissue and help him wipe his face off and give him a hug and just let him cry into the crook of your neck. rub his shoulders and his back like he’s a little kid and whisper to him and be all like “shhhh”, that should help to calm him down

levi

he absolutely REFUSES to cry around others. he will hold back his tears until the liquid comes out another hole, but he cannot hold back when he’s watching anime alone in his room or playing a sad game. he’ll just let it all flow

he’s also quite a bit messy, but he’s not as snotty as mammon. his entire face will be wet with tears and probably his chin and neck too

when he’s alone he lets every noise out under the sun; sobs, hiccups, wails, you name it. his brothers always question what the hell is happening but they assume that it’s just because of an anime or a game. they know what this kind of crying means

even though he doesn’t cry around others, he’s a bit more vocal with mc. he’ll let himself huff and puff and hiccup a bit, so you’d better be prepared to wipe away his tears as gently and softly as you can and snuggle with him in his tub bed, showing him some of the anime that you’ve been watching per his recommendations

satan

he probably cries the second least of all the brothers. he’s rarely overly emotional and controls his sadness very well, and rarely has reactions resulting in tears

however, he will immediately isolate himself if he feels it coming when he’s around others, especially his brothers. he’d probably die of embarrassment if lucifer saw him cry

he trusts mc a lot more so he kind of just lets the tears flow. he rarely makes any noises at all, mostly just sniffs and little huffs

to comfort him, grab the book that he’s been reading lately and read it aloud to him from where he left off. or, if he’s afraid it won’t help his emotional state, read him something nostalgic from his childhood, and he’ll probably fall asleep <33

asmo

he cries the second most often of the brothers, but he’s a very close second to mammon. i mean, he was the only one who cried when mc had to leave for the human world for the first time in the story

he doesn’t care all that much about crying in front of others, he doesn’t mind showing his emotions because he takes pride in his feelings

he cries rather harshly and intensely, his most common noise is this high-pitched sobbing, and he huffs and puffs and hiccups a lot

YOU IMMEDIATELY NEED TO COMFORT HIM. he’ll likely approach you with his arms stretched out and you better fucking return his hug and rub his shoulders and his back and offer to draw him a bath when he’s feeling better and do some skincare with him

beel

he likes to keep his emotions in check because, as the largest brother, he wants to make sure that he’s in the position to protect all of his brothers whenever he needs to, especially belphie

he’s cried a lot more often since lilith died, and he often finds himself thinking about her when he’s falling asleep at night and he gets emotional, sometimes cries himself to sleep

he only really huffs and puffs, and he dabs at his cheeks when he feels like they’re getting too wet. he also sniffs a lot too

he’ll definitely reach out for a hug, and the best thing to do for him is to offer to get him a snack and later rub his head when he’s falling asleep. giving him a massage is also a plus as well

belphie

he cries more than beel, but he definitely hates showing his emotions around others

he tends to mostly cry out of guilt and because of memories, not because of anything he recently experienced like bad news or a sad scene in a movie. sometimes he has to hold back tears even when he’s alone when he thinks about the time he almost killed mc

his face gets SO WET with tears so you better have your tissues ready. he hiccups and lets out these sob-like huffs

he’ll try to isolate himself from you, but you’d better get your tissues ready and follow him and dab his cheeks and his chin. snuggling with him in the attic with his favorite pillow and blankets and soothingly rubbing his shoulders and his back and giving him a gentle massage is the best way to calm him down

[ready-to-obeyme]

[OM!] Relationship Alphabet (Lucifer/Reader)

Relationship Alphabet

I feel like I went a little overboard with this (it’s 7 pages) and all the hc’s, but let’s just say this is my official love letter to Luci and leave it at that.

Lucifer

A- Activity (What is their favorite activity to do with you.)

Slow dancing with you-- in the dark, in front of the fireplace, during the rain; just a quiet moment together.

I already HC’d that he knows all types of dances, so he’ll sweep you up on your feet with waltzes and ballroom dances and make you swoon into his arms with tangos and salsas. But sometimes the best part of dancing is holding you close to his chest and just being with you. I believe with all my heart that Lucifer is a man who’s softly in love, and being able to share his favorite past time with you is one of his best ways to show you he loves you.

B- Beginnings (How do they act in the beginning of a relationship)

Considering the fact that you’re a human surrounded by demons, Lucifer would act very protective of you in the beginning of your relationship-- even more so because the last thing he would ever want is for you to get hurt. He takes full responsibility for your physical well-being, though that does get overbearing until you tell him to lay it off and assure him that you’ll take precautions. He’s gone through many hardships to protect the people he loves, and you are no different. 

He’d be more hesitant with public displays of affection, though that’s not to say he’s not affectionate towards you at all. Instead, his love is shown through lingering touches and lingering gazes-- and he makes up for any lost touches by showering you with love in private quarters. He just needs to get used to being in a relationship-- and being in love: shifting his priorities to other things besides his responsibilities for others and onto growing and finally doing something that was inherently just for himself.

C- Communication (Are they good communicators? How do they normally talk about their problems or solve issues)

Ummm HAHAHA

Communication has always been hard for Lucifer. Perhaps not as much when he was still an archangel, but it definitely started when he started going against his Father’s wishes, if anywhere. (I mean, holding in his resentment and anger is what created Satan, so…) His responsibility as the eldest brother, the one who led his brothers to their literal downfall, and his vow to serve Diavolo all contributed to Lucifer’s incapability to voice his concerns to his brothers. When you came down to Devildom, you quite literally forced him to communicate, realizing that he had his family-- and you-- who were there for him no matter what. It’s a work in progress, but Lucifer finds himself being able to confide in you for things he normally would have kept to himself, including your input in decisions, especially if those decisions involve you.

D- Drunk (What are they like when they’re drunk)

Much more relaxed than he would be sober-- which makes sense since alcohol does take away your inhibitions. As a result, he relaxes and is actually quite talkative, his words less controlled, more free and flowing. The type to whisper more “I love you’s” and other words of affection toward you when drunk, which is something he trusts you to keep a secret between you and him. Only you get to see this softer side of him!

E- Emergency (How are they in emergency situations? You get hurt, they get hurt, someone is dying etc..)

Lucifer tries to make sure that you’re okay and that everything is resolved. Calm on the outside but his mind is racing-- especially when someone he cares for is hurt. Acts very composed most of the time.

If you somehow get hurt, he's downright ruthless. How dare they lay a finger on you? They'll regret their mistake for the rest of their life if he can help it. 

He's cold and calculative if he needs to be, almost extremely so in emergency situations that are dire, but that may just be a defense mechanism because he feels so strongly about protecting those he loves and prides himself in being reliable and efficient. Reacts quickly and makes decisions without hesitation, sometimes even disregarding his own feelings in the moment.

F- Free Spot (I’ll give you any headcanon I come up with)

Giving up control is the ultimate sign that Lucifer loves you and that he trusts you. (cough sub!Lucifer)

Lovely tenor voice that should be put to use more often!! (in more ways than one 😌)

The type of person who pretends to not be ticklish, but is actually pretty ticklish. He just acts nonchalant long enough for other people to drop it (but you know better)

On the sleepy mornings you call him your morningstar, his heart does a flip and he just looks at you lovingly

G- Gifts (What kind of gifts do they give? What kind of gifts do they get?)

Lucifer gets you gifts whenever he sees something that he think you’d like or gifts that-- when you go out shopping together-- catches your eyes. It always ends up little trinkets-- you wouldn’t know how to react otherwise if he consistently bought you bigger, more expensive gifts otherwise. He’s more subtle with his gifts, preferring to learn what you like and provide you with things. Definitely has Acts of Services and Quality Time as his top love languages. 

Appreciates any gift of yours because it shows you were thinking of him in parts of your daily life. Makes him very soft tbh, knowing that he’s in your thoughts.

H- Hugs (How do they show affection/cuddle)

More of a private person for affection, but loves to cuddle when he has the chance-- or rather, when you manage to convince him to take a break. Adores being big spoon, slightly unused to being small spoon and stubbornly refuses to admit that he absolutely melts under your ministrations. The man’s not used to being adored-- idolized and respected, yes-- but the way you love him makes him feel like things will be okay.

I- Irritation (What is something that irritates them? How do they show their irritation?)

Lucifer absolutely abhors seeing unfinished work on his desk, which is why he spends countless nights trying to complete it all and also why he's so annoyed at his brothers for being loud and disruptive. He's trying to work here! (If he was a gamer, he'd definitely be a completionist. The achievement compels him.) And like in-game, has no hesitation to tell his brothers to be quiet or get tied upside down, and the threat usually works because he always follows through. 

If you make him irritated for some reason, I don't think Lucifer would hesitate to ask you to stop. He doesn't really want to be mad at you, and he trusts you to understand his plight as much as you know he'd do his best to be considerate of your feelings.

J- Jackpot (How would they spend their winnings if they won the lottery?)

FINALLY paying off Mammon’s debts… at a price that Mammon will pay for the rest of his life. (rip Mammon) 

Would also like to take you on a trip somewhere together. Depending on whether you want to go to a particular place or not, you can decide the destination. If you have no preference, he’d honestly just pick a quiet place to be, perhaps near the sea, so the both of you can relax in each others’ presence. He's the type to be okay staying in bed with you the entire week, but if you want to explore or sightsee, he'll research for places with you.

K- Kryptonite (What is their ultimate weakness?)

Online shopping--

Family has always been his kryptonite. He’s willing to give up his pride-- as an Archangel and as the right hand man of Diavolo-- for his brothers: both when he declared war on the Celestial Realm for Lilith and when he lied to Diavolo about Belphie’s dissent. Now that he considers you family, there is very little he would do to make you happy.

L- Laughter (What makes them laugh?)

I actually don't think it's hard to make him laugh. A lot of your antics with Levi and Mammon are actually really amusing-- until they affect his work. But I think the man finds amusement in a lot of his daily life, considering how spontaneous Diavolo and Barbatos are. Lucifer is always naturally soft for his brothers, so just any good times with them (without trouble) is bound to make him throw his head and laugh. He always has a good time teasing his brothers when he can and seeing you interact with them.

Also, the audacity of some lower class demons that try to challenge him or hurt you makes him laugh too. Just not in a joyous way. Definitely has the fake, sadistic laughter before he maims someone.

M- Morning ( How do they wake up in the morning? Are they a morning person or a morning grouch?)

“Good morning. *yawns* Sorry, I’m not much of a morning demon.” 

A grouch. A complete and total sleepy head. Constantly pulls all-nighters and conks out when he gets to bed and struggles really badly to get himself out of it. Lucifer has to really push himself to get out of the covers some days. And when you're in bed with him, even WORSE. Cuddles you till the last possible minute-- but he would never actually let the two of you be late for anything. It's kinda cute how not of a morning person he is. 

Make a cup of coffee for him in the morning and he'll groggily wake up and try to convince you to come back to bed with him.

N- Needy (When do they feel particularly needy? How do they show it?)

"I would like to be able to talk to you more. Is that selfish of me?"

Lucifer doesn't always request for your affection or time, but when he does it blows you out of the water every time. When he feels needy varies. Sometimes it just hits him in the middle of the day when he's doing work or when he feels like he hasn't had a lot of time to be with you lately. He doesn't make it a habit of needing you, but he becomes more explicit when he does want you, though he's not really specific on how he wants you most of the time. 

He probably calls you out of the blue sometimes just to ask you how your day was so he can hear your voice. If you're in the room with him while he's working, he might tell you to come here and you would just let him quietly hug your torso-- but please do sweep your hand through his hand during this time.

For sexual needs, on the other hand, he's pretty straightforward because at the end of the day, he's still a smooth talker when he knows what he wants. Especially if you're shy about it, he'll be even more inclined to be honest about his desire, teasing you and luring you in. 

O- Oasis (Where is their happy place? Where would they go if they didn’t have anything holding them back?)

The human realm. 

I think loving you is the most selfish thing he could do because it is one of the only things he has done just for himself. If Lucifer were to truly decide something for himself without having to think about the wellbeing of others, he would choose to live in the human realm with you.

P- Pain (How do they handle pain? How do they handle when you are in pain?)

You know those typical anime protagonists that get hurt, pretend to be okay until everyone is safe, and people only find out they're hurt when they collapse? 

Yeah, that's Lucifer. Dramatic and prideful af 

He used to handle pain on his own until he had you to confide in and convince him to talk to others for help.

When you're in pain, depending on the severity, would find the solution to your pain or try ways to alleviate it. If you had a physical injury, would lowkey fuss over you and make sure you're cared for and have everything you need. If it's something serious, Lucifer does his best to show that everything is alright, though you know he's worried beyond comfort.

Q- Quote (What’s a quote that fits them and your relationship)

“I will love you until the stars go out and the tides no longer turn.”

“Let us flip the coin and see. Head, I am yours. Tail, you are mine. So, we won’t lose.”

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride.” - Pablo Neruda

R- Reunion (How do they celebrate seeing you after a long time of being apart)

With horny juice

jk love the new chapters <333

Lucifer tries not to monopolize your time at first, because he knows how much his brothers missed you as well. But, god, he'd pine over you the entire day if he could, shooting you glances and turning back, smiling and just overall generally happy that he can see you face to face. 

He's missed you so much and he's just glad you're back with them, and he's confident in your relationship with him to know that he'll have his time eventually. It's that or he'll sweep you away from the brothers at night if they keep on hogging your attention. 

S- Stress (What stresses them out? How do deal with stress and how do they relieve it?)

Watching his brothers get into trouble is the best way to get his blood pressure rising. He usually deals with it by yelling at them even as he deals with it. (The man needs a break.)

Most of the time, Lucifer is pretty composed. He lives under a state of stress all the time considering the workload he always has, so it's not that big of a deal for him.

T- Terror (What are they afraid of?)

Lucifer's worst fear is to have you become afraid of him. The last thing he would ever want is to do is something that scares you, so he controls himself as best as he can (considering he hasn't done the best at that before). He becomes more aware of his anger and aggression when in front of you, and is keen on absolutely never showing aggression towards you again. There shouldn't be anything the two of you can't talk through anymore and he wants to keep it that way.

I don't think he can imagine anything worse than to reach out to you only to have you flinch back and cower because you're afraid he'll do something to you. It honestly would break his heart.

U- Unique (What is a quirk that is unique to them?)

As an archangel-- a seraph, Lucifer had three sets of wings, which was reduced to two, perhaps due to Satan's birth or perhaps due to his falling. Regardless, his demon form, reminiscent of his Celestial Realm days, on better days, reminds him that he is powerful-- though it pains him still. On the worst days, he hates who he has become. Not to say he regrets falling, giving up his life in the Celestial Realm for his family or fighting for what he believes in, but his demon form reminds him of what he has lost and how he has failed. 

You adore his demon form, despite it all, or perhaps you love his form regardless because it represents his love for family, his loyalty, his dedication to something-- or someone. He will never admit it, but having you run your hands through his wings or brush your hand against his horns lovingly is something that makes him fall apart in your arms, on his most vulnerable days. He may have become a demon, but your hands make him feel like that doesn't matter as much. Makes him feel personally invested to see that the three realms are united, if it means he can be with you.

In short, Lucifer is unused to body worship, especially in his demon form but you help him remember to love himself.

V- Violence (Do they fight a lot? Are they a good fighter? What is their fighting style?)

Your man's not eldest brother and Avatar of Pride for nothin', baby.

Probably hasn't fought as much since the end of the Celestial War, but he still knows how to very well. His style of fighting is lethal and quick, much like how he thinks. Fighting is just the means to an end, whether it's for something he believes in or to dish out punishment. Though, it depends on his opponent-- Lucifer can definitely toy with someone he thinks is beneath him, probably a lower class demon who thinks he's hot shit. He is, afterall, still sadistic.

W- Wow (What do you do that really surprises them? What do you do that they really like?)

Lucifer is surprised at the easy affection you provide him. It just seems to come naturally for you to lace your fingers with his on the way back to the House of Lamentation or wrap your arms around him and perch your head on his shoulders as he works. He gets an odd feeling in his chest every time you trace lines onto his back when your in bed together or when you play with his fingers like they're something to be admired. He basks in the way you love him-- like it's simple and easy. He craves your touch, even if he doesn't realize it himself.

What surprises him, and also lowkey scares him, is how surprisingly confrontational you can be when it matters. How brave you are, standing up for or against someone else, even if that someone else was him. It's something that he admires in you, though it worries him nonetheless-- so he'll be there to back you up if you ever need it in the future. His little firecracker. 

X- (Explicit headcanon. For all you degenerates) 

(///∇///) nsfw

Prefers masturbating in the shower, hand against the wall as the water cascades down his body. Cleaner that way, and if he moans, there's less chance someone will overhear him.

Loves to have and see you fall apart under his touch: Edging, overstimulation, hearing you beg and call his name (his sadistic side really showing though rn), watching you as you orgasm. Lucifer can be rough for sure but what he really wants you to do is tell him what you want so he can do it even better. Kind of smug of his skills tbh LOVES seeing you blush. 

On the other hand, a gentle and sensual lover who gives. Also enjoys receiving, burying his hand into your hair as you give him a blowjob. And maybe if you like it, he’ll pull on your hair too.

Y- Yucky (Is there something that grosses them out so badly that they can’t deal with it?)

I don't know why but I feel like Lucifer absolutely hates moldy food in the fridge. shdjskdksksk It would never happen with Beel around, but something about the texture, look, color unsettles him. There's no mess he can't clean or deal with, but he does make a face at it. Honestly, his brothers make such a mess everyday and he's seen so much bloodshed that is there really anything he's fazed by?

Z- ZZZ’s (What are their sleeping habits? Both with and without you)

Sleep is for the weak.

Can go days without sleeping the mad lad, and he often has to with his workload. When Lucifer does sleep, he sleeps like the dead. Not to say he doesn't move when he sleeps, because he does shift and use the entirety of his bed, but because very little can wake him up if he's truly tired. Belphie probably gets it from him tbh  

When you're in his life, his sleep schedule becomes more of a regular thing, mainly because it's hard for him to resist you when you ask him to come to bed to you. Falls asleep cuddling you and wakes up with you in his arms. If you manage to roll away in your sleep, he eventually finds a way to snake his arms around your waist. 

If you ever mention this to him, he might actually get embarrassed because he's not exactly in control of what he does when he's asleep-- and the fact he seeks you out when unconscious is very telling. Don't tease him too much or he'll never stop tickling you.

[tanoraqui]

ok my last review of my own SPN fic from the early 2010s gets its own post bc the other two were getting long and honestly this was more Good Omens fic than anything. Literally I lost steam on it when faced with the prospect of writing Supernatural characters other than Crowley (the fic, of course, being centered around the idea that What if That Was Proper, GO Crowley, and if so, How).

Once More Unto the Breach proposes that, shortly after the events of Good Omens, Aziraphale was yanked back to Heaven and tortured for a while until he, ah, saw the light again (with input of later seasons, I suppose I’d include Naomi in this somewhere), and Crowley was yanked back to Hell where he was tortured...and just kinda. Tortured. A lot. And had his grace stripped out, this one of the last of the angels who’d followed Lucifer in his fall (and idea SPN never got into but hella could’ve tbh; it fucks). And then, now that he was basically a normal mortal, for some reason they dropped him back in the timestream in like 1500s? Scotland with no memory, planning to let him lead a normal human life and then SURPRISE you’re back in Hell! Bitch! Suffer! 

Except instead of leading a normal human life, he (per canon spn) sold his soul to a crossroads demon for a bigger dick, and then, uhhhh, paperwork got lost and he just kinda ended up in the shuffle as a normal demon working his way up through the ranks, eventually becoming the SPN!Crowley we know? Aziraphale, meanwhile, has been sent out again to participate in the newly destined Apocalypse, Michael vs. Lucifer - ineffable!

And then, ofc, they meet a time or two...mostly very awkward and Aziraphale is like, “he’s superficially familiar but no, it’s obviously not My Crowley - who was evil and lied to me, ofc”, and Crowley is like, “what a weirdo.”

The Apocalypse fails to happen again. Aziraphale attempts to quietly duck out of Heavenly duties and resume his bookstore in London. Ch.2 of this fic - which I wrote! - is a pretty solid fic all on its own, of alternatingly Castiel’s and Raphael’s side showing up and trying to persuade him to join their team, and Aziraphale trying very hard to politely send them away before eventually snapping and joining Castiel. In the middle of a fight in a random heaven that happens to be an early 19th century British Navy ship in the height of a storm, because fanfiction is for SELF-INDULGENCE and nothing else.

Actually, u know what, just

“Is that so,” Ezekiel asked softly, playing with his blades. He had three now, his own and Castiel’s. “And how, exactly, are you going to stop me?

Aziraphale made up his mind. “He’s not,” said the bookseller, stepping between them and spreading his wings like a shield in front of the wounded rebel. “I will.”

“What are you doing?” hissed Castiel. “You do not need to die!”

Ezekiel laughed. “You?” He stepped back mockingly, and spread his arms in challenge. “Little brother, you are even lower class than the pathetic excuse for an angel cowering behind you. Who are you to challenge I, Ezekiel, Weapons Master of the Heavenly Host?”

Aziraphale stood up straight, spreading his wings wider. Lightning flashed for the first time in the tempestuous sky above, illuminating their feathery expanse.

“I am Aziraphale,” he stated, “Guardian of the Eastern Gate of Eden.” The scabbard appeared at his side like it always did, like it hadn’t done for over 6000 years. He reached down and drew the sword, hilt conforming perfectly to his grip. The blade caught fire instantly, and any raindrop that came near evaporated to steam before it touched the flame. “And I wield the Sword of War.”

Ezekiel’s step backwards was genuine this time, as was the fear in his voice.

“The Sword is a Weapon of Heaven, and belongs to Raphael!” he managed.

“I’m afraid it doesn’t,” Aziraphale said gently. It was an elegant sword, long and thin and rapier-like, and very clearly meant to kill. “This is the blade given to my hand by Michael, Commander of the Heavenly Host, when we all trained together as brothers. Before all the senseless bureaucracy took hold. From me, it passed to the human Eve, and there it became a Symbol to the humans, of War. It’s their Weapon, really, so I will use it on their behalf. If Raphael considers that ‘rebellion’, then so be it.”

ANYWAY. So, Aziraphale joins Cas’s rebellion and mostly starts sorting records in the very neglected Library of Heaven that contains a book recounting the life of every single person ever, bc that’s my idea of heaven and I’m right. But also he needs to rescue the nice young rebel angel whose capture kinda prompted him into this decision in the first place, and that means breaking into the really serious heavenly prison area...so he goes to the new King of Hell and bargains to borrow one of the lost Treasures of Heaven (remember those, from s6?) that Crowley has ended up with. They agree: Aziraphale can have the Crown of Pollution thing for 24 Earth hours, and in return, at a time of his choosing, Crowley will get a treasure of Heaven to which Aziraphale has access for 24 hours.

Upon getting the Crown back, Crowley informs him that the treasure he’d like is...Aziraphale, actually. The Sword of War, if he wants to be fussy, and Aziraphale is welcome to come along with it! After all, surely a warrior of Heaven is as valuable as an artifact. “You want me to...smite your political enemies?” Aziraphale says slowly. “Sure,” says Crowley. “Also, come to tea for 10 minutes once a week or so and tell me hte latest news from your little war. I never said the 24 hours had to be consecutive.”

Obviously Aziraphale is Pissed AF, but he’s also stuck, and afraid to tell anyone that he’s been Dealing with a demon. So he goes once a week to tea, and gives absolutely monosyllabic answers full of ice...

Crowley fills some of the silence by starting t just bitch about work...and offers booze every time...once, after a hard battle, Aziraphale accepts...he offers bitchy comments about the demons Crowley complains about...don’t do this, Aziraphale tells himself firmly; it’s not YOUR demon, and anyway that was still probably a lie, and even if it wasn’t (it definitely wasn’t) you can’t find him; he’s probably dead...and this one’s MUCH trickier... There’s an assassination attempt on Crowley in which Aziraphale throws his sword across the room to him and it catches fire just as it does for Aziraphale, just as it doesn’t do for anyone else...

And that’s kinda where I stopped writing, bc I kept just...not wanting to write scenes with actual SPN characters, even though I really did need to involve Castiel, if I wanted him and Aziraphale to have a, “wait, you’re working with Crowley?” “Wait, YOU’RE working with Crowley?!”

I don’t really know how the rest of all that was supposed to go, with Purgatory and the Leviathans and everything. Cas WAS definitely having Aziraphale do research, while he alphabetized the Library, into Purgatory, and that’s a whole additional level of “wow I thought you were legit but Apparently I’m Disappointed Again.” Aziraphale is angry at both Crowley and Cas, but *checks outline* when Cas absorbs all the souls and goes nuts, Crowley runs, worried, to tell Aziraphale. Aziraphale tries to confront/calm Cas, and gets the dubious honor of being the first person “spared” by the new god.

Somewhere in here, logically, Aziraphale must tell SPN!Crowley about GO!Crowley, and Crowley’s like, “weird. I mean, I guess I’ve had dreams now and then of flying or being a snake or burning-but-in-a-good-way, but doesn’t everyone?” (I didn’t write this down anywhere but, like...it must happen.)

Somehow (Library of Heaven? Someone finally found the lost paperwork in Hell?) Aziraphale and Crowley find out that GO!Crowley’s (OG Crowley’s!) lost Grace is in, where else, Hyde Park, turned into, what else, an apple tree. If he is proper Crowley, it should woosh back into him when he touches the tree...

Aziraphale watched it breathless anticipation (not that he usually breathed anyway) as Crowley rested his hand on the bark of the tree. 

Nothing happened. 

“Well, that was a bit of a disappointment,” said Crowley. He reached up and carelessly grabbed an apple, brought it down and bit into it.

Everything exploded in the bright light of Grace.

In the planning document, I’ve written that Crowley goes back to Hell to try to wrangle it and Aziraphale ditto Heaven, which I guess...is reasonable. Good Omens ends with them both happily fucking off to stay on Earth and that’s the happy ending, but here, early SPN s7 with Cas having just fucked off into a lake and exploded with Leviathans, both Heaven and Hell could really use a sensible guiding hand, and unlike every other time (ie, all the time) that’s true, there’s a genuine opportunity for someone to step in and have influence. So...

Verdict: 11/10 this fic still SLAPS; thank you for coming on this exciting journey of nostalgia with me.

[sassy-stupid]

How would the brothers and Lord Diavolo react to a Witch! S/o? Specifically Mammon, but the others as well if you are willing to write for all of them. Thanks hon! (I couldn't find your rules so I don't know if there is a max to how many characters you will write for.)

Hey guys! I’m doing my best not to spoil anything from the story but I have a tendency to accidentally mention plot points from later chapters, so if you’d like to avoid those I’d recommend skipping over this post.

I appreciate the request, and yes I am definitely willing to write for all of the brothers, I’m even willing to write for all the ‘side’ characters. (It pains me to call simeon a side character tbh that boy deserves his own game)

And I’m really sorry my rules are hard to find, I tried tagging them clearly but I’m not the best person to maintain a blog tbh I have no idea what I’m doing most of the time. (Still can’t get the links in my bio to work on mobile either despite trying for over a week)

Hope this is what you were looking for ^-^

Brothers + Diavolo reaction to witch!mc

BelphegorSince Belphegor tried using us to get out of his 'prison’ I think he’d be happy to find out mc is a witch, they’d be more useful to him like that. He’d probably take your powers for granted quite a lot but deep down he appreciates you and your magic.

BeelzebubBeel will not stop asking you to magic him some food. Whether that’s something you can do or not, Beel will be asking for it. Apart from our big boy’s food obsession though, he’ll be glad that mc isn’t just a human, they’ll be able to protect themself way better like this and that puts him at ease.

AsmodeusI feel like Asmo wouldn’t really act differently, I think he won’t even really think differently about witch!mc compared to human!mc. He’s got a very wide circle of friend and 'acquaintances’ so he’s used to both humans and witches. He’ll still try to seduce you every chance he gets. He might be a tiny bit more wary around you though, he’s seen first hand (Solomon) what sorcerers and witches are capable of.

SatanSatan would be most thrilled if mc turned out to be a witch. He’d love to study or discuss magic books with you. He wouldn’t be wary around you at all, he knows exactly what witches can do and he knows he could do more. Be careful with this one, he might just perform some highly experimental spells that can turn out bad just because you’re around and might be able to fix it.

Leviathan Levi wouldn’t even notice until you literally lob a spell at someone, at which point he will marvel at you and compare you to a mage class character he likes. The biggest change between human!mc and witch!mc for Levi is that he might not call witch!mc a normie, although he’ll keep asking them to prove it by making them perform summoning spells (long story short he keeps using you to get exclusive event stuff).

MammonThis might get a little tricky, Mammon will not let his guard down near witch!mc, ever. All the witches he’s met so far have caused him some form of trouble (even if it is usually his own fault), his experiences with all witches are bad. Getting him to even be alone with mc will be difficult, but since it’s Lucifer telling him to keep an eye on you it will happen one way or another. Mammon would still warm up to witch!mc (in his own, tsun, way) it would just take quite a bit longer and more effort.

LuciferLuci is mostly just relieved he isn’t sending some fragile human with only Mammon to protect them into devildom. He might be aware of the issues Mammon would have with witch!mc but he’s confident that he chose the right human, even if they’re a witch. Doubting his decision would mean doubting himself and he would never. If mc ever uses their magic to help Lucifer or the brothers he’ll make sure to subtly mention that he’s the one that picked them as transfer student.

DiavoloOur demon kind to be would be a bit more careful around witch!mc than he would human!mc, mostly because he can sense their power and knows they could at the very least cause a ruckus. But he’d still be welcoming, witch or not this entire exchange program was his idea so he’s going to do his best to make mc feel as comfortable as possible in devildom.

I’d like to add that the brothers will probably all be a bit more reluctant to make pacts because they know that means mc can actually use their power now and that’s not something they should give lightly. But as the story goes, I’m sure they’d still all make pacts with them eventually.

(Bonus)SolomonSolomon is going to be even more mysterious around a witch!mc. He’s not currently looking for an apprentice so he’s going to be careful using magic around you as to not teach you too many new things. On the other hand though, he’ll think it’s amusing to learn how you got to know magic and maybe if you play your cards right he will get interested in teaching you his ways.

[indiavolojones]

that satan/mc pact fic has me wonderin which of the bros is really into mc using the pact in an inappropriate manner tbh,

my initial thots, so very undeveloped, so if y’all have any other ideas pls share!! 

lucifer: no. maybe. probably not. it depends/has to be v delicate. like, I could see something like the fic I wrote about a “submissive” lucifer kind of tying in with this? idk!

mammon: may i direct u to shacklefunk’s drawing of mammon ? anyway I think he’d just be about getting praised/roughed up a lil bit so i doubt mc would even need the pact but like… he wouldn’t be against it… 

levi: huh, no clue

satan: :3c only if he’s into it/is allowed to be just as much of a bastard to mc back

asmo: (skips 4 now)

beel: um, :((((((( 

belphie: honestly, yeah?? like, the dynamic I have for mc/belphie post-murder is all sorts of tangled and I can see belphie being into 

ANYWAY ASMO… I think 100000%? here’s a chunk of an asmo wet-dream scene I originally wrote for delirium but trashed since I changed what happened:

“What? Stop playing - ” you stand, striding forward as Satan holds the letter in the air. It takes him little effort to hold it away. Asmo laughs in delight at the game of keep-away, sliding up behind you and taking the card from Satan above you.

“I’m next, darling, writhe against me next!” Asmo leans in until the tips of your noses are just barely touching. Narrowing your eyes, you stand your ground, unwilling to blanch at Asmo’s close quarters. 

“Give me the card,” you command, holding out one hand in front of you. 

Asmo blinks, his hand lowering to place the card in your outstretched hand. As you take it, you can’t help the almost smug smile on your lips at Asmo’s slight blush, the interested heat in his gaze. His hands rest on your waist instead, rubbing circles into your hip bones with his thumbs. Even through the layers of the uniform separating your skin from his touch, Asmo sends sparks over your nerves.

“You should do that more often,” he hums, low cadence of his voice sending a shiver through you. You press the hand holding the card to Asmo’s collarbone, tilting the card forward until it covers Asmo’s lips. 

Quirking your brow, you laugh, “Do what, order you around?” 

Asmo holds himself a little closer, and using his height to his advantage, forces you to look up at him. One of his hands slides to the small of your back. Pulling you nearly flush against him, only your arm rests between the two of you. The other hand comes to near eye-level, his long fingers wrapping around the wrist holding the card to his face and gently pulling it out of the way. 

The classroom ceased to be there at some point during this exchange; Asmo and the hard edge of the nearby desk are the only things your mind registers anymore. Even the card is forgotten when faced with Asmodeus demanding your attention. Your lips part, and Asmo watches with delight. 

“It’s alright if it’s you, darling,” Asmo leans in, and catches your exhale with a kiss. 

[goodbye-i-need-space]

This matchup is for @sevensfantasia

Let me know if you want me to include the request you sent in! (I don't automatically include them bc most of you put a lot of information in it and I'm not sure if you want that to be visible for everyone) - - - Here's what the boys think of you:

Belphegor loves the way you think, look and act. He just generally loves you for you. Over-sized T-Shirts & lazy days? YES. You're warm and comfy = the perfect cuddle buddy. Likes how easy-going you are. You don't try too hard to impress anyone and it's something he cherishes about you. After all he spends a lot of time around Lucifer (who likes to hide any sign of weakness or negative traits due to his pride), Asmo (who always puts a LOT of effort into his looks) and Mammon (who also likes to keep his true thoughts & feelings to himself. I mean there has to be a reason why his bond with Beelzebub seems to be the strongest out of all his brothers, and I think that's partly because Beel doesn't try to alter the way he appears to others. Belphie admires and respects both of you for that reason. The fact that you two are just so true and honest with yourselves and others.

Asmodeus would spoil you without even fully realizing it. Like the moment he learns that you're into jewellery and shopping he'll just naturally drag you along? I don't think money is a problem for him either so he just buys everything he likes for the both of you. He'll probably be a bit hurt if you don't wear the very revealing outfits he chose for you because he just knows you'd look so good in them!? Though when he sees you wearing some of the jewellery he's gotten you he gets all giddy again. Also loves to pull your cheek because you're so CUTE ~

Guide - How to befriend Satan: Step 1: Have 11 cats living with you. Srsly that fact alone will catch his interest and he absolutely doesn't mind if your pets are the main subject of all your conversations. Send him those cat photos at 3 am in the morning, he's awake and ready. Also, if you ever decide to create a social media account for your furballs Satan will be their number one follower! He already remembers every single one of their names the first time you mention them.

Mammon: Big girls make Mammon go creamies ok? I'm just gonna leave it at that -

Beelzebub definitely had his experience with self-doubt and insecurieties considering he had to choose between the two most important people in his life and counts himself responsible for not being able to safe both of them. It scarred him for sure and his gluttony surely doesn't make things easier for him. His brothers are accustomed to his appetite but Beel's aware of the weird looks others often give him. He knows how suffocating it feels to doubt yourself so if you're having one of those days where your self-esteem isn't up to snuff, he wants you to know you aren't alone and isn't afraid to let you know that you're awesome just the way you are.

Also: Beel noticing you liking one of his shirts will mostly result in said shirt ending up in your wardrobe. "I don't need it, you can have it if you want." *big happy smile* You're his lil panda now and he's gonna protect you ok?

Just like Beel I feel like Lucifer is just as aware of your feelings and therefore admires your emotional strenght a lot. He also likes that you're usually quiet and don't cause a lot of ruckus.

Simeon: With this guy around you'll never feel left out. He'll always try to include you in conversations and shows genuine interest in your opinions. Half of the reason he does so is because wants to get to know humans better, the other half is because he's good at making feel people important and it doesn't sit right with him to see you being left out. He won't force you into conversation of course, but if he feels like you're being left out too much Simeon is very good at directing the right amount of attention towards you.

Luke: If you like sweets, cakes or any other kind of pastries Luke will be over the moon! He's been into baking for 300+ years but getting positive feedback from an actual human would definitely mean a lot to him. Don't compliment him too much on it or the amount of baked goods he'll shove your way will increase continuously.

Barbatos is quick to notice your attempt to get along with everyone, including people that are very different from you. Being Diavolo's right-hand man he definitely knows how to appreciate your efforts, since he's in a similar position where he has to get along with certain people, no matter how much disdain he may hold against them.

Last but not least I ship you the most with

Levi

Being an INFP you're naturally good at listening to others and this shut-in Otaku really needs someone to pay attention to him. He's very touch starved as well so if you can provide him with cuddles and affection that'd be much appreciated. Kudos if you don't mind staying inside his room all day long. It would definitely help a lot with his jealousy, since hanging around the others more than him will surely put him in a sour mood. He's quite the pessimist when it comes to himself so if you make him feel enough or even loved then that's already a huge achievement. After all Asmo also seems to enjoy being around you very much and the fact that you'd rather spend your time with some yucky Otaku instead of going outside to have fun with the others really takes him aback, in a good way though.

It also doesn't really matter how you want to spend your time with him, you don't even have to interact with him at all as long as you're both in the same room he's already happy. Feel free to watch TV when he's playing videogames or sleep in his bedtube. He's totally fine with you doing your own thing as long as you're near him.

All in all it would be such a chill and sweet relationship. Help I'm jealous

Instead of writing a scenario I decided to think of some conversations you two could have during one of your gaming sessions (I especially had Far Cry 4 in mind since you stated it as one of your favorite games! )

Levi: "Oi Normie, stop throwing stones at me." You: "Sry, I wasn't aiming for you!" You: *Throws another stone at him*

"Levi?" "Hnn?" "I think you pissed off the elephant." "I didn't, they're friendly." *One (1) very angry Elephant comes running towards you* "Levi I think I pissed off the elephant!!"

You: "Levi HELP! The skunk's trying to kill me!" Levi: "It's not a skunk, it's a honeybadger. You: "It's still trying to kill me though!" Levi (unimpressed): Kill it first then?" You: "I don't want to :( " Levi: *watches your character getting chased and killed by the feral animal* You: "Leviiiiiii !" Levi: *snickers*

Levi: *places landmines all over the enemies base strategically* You: *accidently steps one one, panics and sets off even more* Levi: *screams internally*

You: *gasps in awe* You: "Look Levi, there's a monkey!" Levi: *walks closer to your current location* Levi: "Kristen ...that's a person.

Bonus: You: *gets randomly attacked by an eagle and screams* Mammon: *walking past Levi's room* " ?! " You: *makes inaudible noises while trying to get rid of the bird * Mammon: "Oii Levi waddya doin' in there huh??" Levi: Q///Q

You're probably 80% of the reason you both die in this game but Levi wouldn't trade your company for anything else tbh. Playing any kind of singleplayer game just doesn't hold the same appeal after he gets used to your company and he also loves how invested you can get into videogames, no matter how good or bad you're at them. (In fact he probably prefers if your a little bit less skilled in videogames than he is cuz ya know jealous boi)

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I hope you like your matchup! I really had a lot of fun doing it ~

I currently have 13 more matchups to do the next ones will be for: jinxed-rose bishie-haven daughter--of--bellona

[hxghlysuspect-archive]

☜, ☞, ∀, ☂️, ✌, ♡, Á, ⚔, ❤ (#2), 👅, 👠, 💋, 😈, 👎, 🐶, 👄, 👙,💦, 🌶 and 🏢 for Rhys and Luci.

how dare you do this to me OTL

☜ : Does your muse like to top? 

L: Definitely, Topping is his preference. R: Yep. Rhys is very much a switch.

☞ : Does your muse like to bottom? 

L: This ones tricky. It HAS to be with the right person- Its less the act of bottoming and more the feeling of being submissive and hes very weird about being vulnerable with anyone. R: Yep! Rhys is a switch, though he has a preference to bottoming

∀ : Your muse’s favorite position? 

L: I’m not sure Lucifer has a favorite position per say, though as long as the person is in a state of submission, hes happy R: Either pinned against the wall or pinning the other against the wall.

☂ : How long does it take your muse to hit climax, usually? 

L: It takes Lucifer a while, if it happens at all. R: Depends on how worked up he is- he could easily be brought in 15 minutes, or he can take 30 to 40 minutes in a slow burn situation

✌ : Is your muse good with their hands? 

L: It’s lucifer, hes good with alot of things. He’s probably better with his mouth than his hands though R: Hes a swordsman, what do you think~ 

♡ : Does your muse have any birthmarks or scars they get embarrassed about others seeing? 

L: Nope R: Nope, none

Á : Is your muse loud in bed? 

L: Nope, hes actually incredibly quiet R: Quite xD

⚔ : Does your muse have any specific kinks?

L: HEH. He has alot-- not sure what would be classified as specific R: Same as Luci tbh

♥ : Does your muse like to cuddle after sex? Anything else for aftercare?

L: He does, esp since alot of his sex is rougher R: Oh definitely. Hes a cuddler even outside of sex

👅-Would they rather give or receive oral sex? 

L: Give.  R: Either, he has no preference-

👠-Do they watch pornography? If so, what kind? 

L: Not really, it bores him R: Eh. On and off, and its normally fetish/kink stuff

💋-Do they use tongue when they kiss? 

L: Yes R: Yep

😈-Favorite sex position? 

L:                this one was already asked/answered above R:                                                     “

👎🏻-What is an absolute deal breaker in the bedroom? 

L: Not listening when hes being serious. R: Breaking any of his hard limits, not listening to his soft limits

🐶-Favorite pet name they like to be called? 

L: You know, i’m not sure Luci has any he really LIKES to be called. he doesnt mind them but theyre not like ‘oh yes call me that’ R: Anything possessive of him. he likes knowing he belongs

👄-Do they swallow? 

L: yes R: yes

👙-Favorite outfit in the bedroom? 

L: whatever clothes he was already wearing, i guess? R: he just prefers nudity lol

💦-Best place for their partner to cum on/in? 

L: their own self R: his stomach, inside him, or lower back. he hates it on his chest or near his face bc it gets in his hair

🌶-Most sensitive place on their body? 

L: i cant... think of one for Luci actually R: Hips

🏢-Most public place they’ve had sex, or would like to have sex? 

L: A train R: the stables while he was on tour

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 13x22 “Exodus”

“WATCH THIS SHOW” they said. “IT’LL BE FUN” they said. cue me being very stressed out for two hours straight

02:38pm

am i looking forward to this, with absolute confidence that nothing terrible and unfortunate will happen because it’s the deadly duo writing this and it’s near the end of the season and last episode was the whiplashiest of whiplashes? NOPE

am i gonna watch it anyway? .......yeah

hopes: nobody we care about dies

-

02:43

I DID NOT WANT THIS RECAP

SAMMY DID NOT DESERVE THAT

but also i still haven’t seen a captioned giftset of the moment cas said to dean “dean, he’s gone, we can’t save him”

‘cause wow as far as destiel moments go, that’s a heck of a lot of trust for dean, and a heck of a lot of concern and care on cas’ part

-

02:46

lucifer: your name is jack

jack: and yours is lucifer

i don’t even know why i laughed but i did??? i don’t think that was meant to be funny

-

02:48

lucifer: don’t you think that’s his choice?

cas: no

the abusive dad vs protective family saga continues

-

also i just realised for MONTHS/years? i’ve been using the 24-hour clock on my laptop and didn’t even notice how much i didn’t like it until just now, and i just changed it, and AAH THIS IS BETTER IT SAYS 02:49 INSTEAD OF 14:49 AND I DON’T ACCIDENTALLY TYPE 4:49 WHEN WRITING THESE POSTS

-

actually in terms of abusive parents vs protective families (expanding on what i said last week), i kinda feel like right now the writers are kinda toning down how bad it can be. lucifer’s so chill about this, kinda, and i’ve known families whose estranged parent is almost a perfect match for lucifer’s behaviour here:

they’ll offer the kid an incredible gift without telling the other parent(s), something the kid can’t refuse because of how badly they want/need it, and the parents can’t refuse without being the bad guy(s), and the whole family then becomes eternally indebted to the abusive parent and is obliged to give them money/time/rights with their child, with the threat of violence, property destroyed, access to said property removed, or instigated legal proceedings if they refuse.

plus the kid is often too young or innocent to understand, they just see an extra parent who gives them nice things, and for a kid from a broken home with not enough to go around, they don’t see the downside, and they maybe never see the threat their parents are under. or they’re physically or mentally abused by their parent(s), but think it’s okay because the parent(s) “apologises” or bribes them with nice things. or if the protective parent(s) try and keep them away from the abusive parent, the kid sees themselves as being deprived of that parent’s love

long story short, people can be shitty, and lucifer probably has the potential to be much worse than just standing around and having a casual discussion

i feel like the extended winchester family verbally defending jack is not gonna be enough, and lucifer’s gonna wanna take back sam, and destroy more while he’s at it

like an “if i can’t have it, nobody can have it” sort of thing

-

03:03

eyyy felicia day is in the credits

-

03:04

hug!!!!!!!!!!!

nawww the lil tiny nuzzle dean does with his chin before pulling away

-

03:07

YEAH MARY YOU PUNCH THE DEVIL IN THE FACE

!!!

AGAIN!!!

cas kinda looked like he was expecting that

-

03:09

i was busy admiring how mary’s hair was perfectly curly 

and then by the next shot it was all limp and sad

if the weather was humid i guess it melted the curl between takes

-

but also MARY WHAT THE HELL

YOU DON’T WANNA ABANDON ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE AU

BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR SMOL NEEDY HERO CHILDREN

??????

i mean i get it bUT ALSO NO I DON’T

-

also my face is >:| because they cut to cas and lucifer in the middle of mary and dean having a super important conversation

usually it’s not jarring but THAT WAS JARRING

eehh the deadly duo trademark is all over this

-

03:15

sam: mom doesn’t wanna leave these people.

sam: ...

sam: so let’s take ‘em with us

YEAH NOW THAT’S A PLAN

MUCH BETTER

take charlie and bobby too okay please

..........aw man now i said that, i get the terrible feeling that one or both of them is gonna go out in a blaze of glory instead, or stay on the sinking ship for no good reason other than because the writers don’t know what else to do with them

edit: i mean there’s still next episode.... (best case, they all survive and get storylines next season)

-

03:20

see all the stuff lucifer is telling jack is true, and it does remove the blame from the CONCEPT of lucifer

but the personality is lucifer is BAD AND ABUSIVE

like you don’t have to commit horrible crimes to be a bad person to be around

he corrupts the will of others, he tortures them emotionally, he manipulates them

none of those things are first-degree murder, or the great oppression of the entire human race, but they are Bad Things For A Father To Be

-

03:23

lucifer: i have done bad things, but i just want the opportunity to get better. doesn’t everybody? don’t you?

i actually feel sick ‘cause this is sooooooo very very dangerous

cas was right, talking to lucifer is bad

yeah, he says all the right things. anyone could give him the benefit of the doubt, and perhaps say sure, lucifer’s changed ‘cause he has a kid now, but he PROVED in bringing sam back to life that he hasn’t changed

and not just because of the “i’mma bring jack a gift he can’t refuse thing”, but the “i’mma kill sam again if he doesn’t agree to this” thing

lucifer is a manipulative, blackmailing, flaming trash baby and jack needs better. lucifer might treat jack himself with genuine love, but he’ll destroy everyone and everything around him in doing so

-

03:28

also? i relate so hard to the fact dean, sam, and cas all see and know the real lucifer, and lucifer’s putting on a show for jack

i think the people i’ve personally felt the least safe around in the past, especially growing up, are the people who are perfectly sweet when you’re in company and then become bullies as soon as the adults/parents/protectors are out of earshot

and there’s no way to prove to your protectors that you’re being hurt because all they see is “a nice person” or “ohh they’re such a sweetie”

i mean it’s the other way around for team free will and jack, where tfw see the real thing and jack sees the perfect angel but yeah

-

03:42

ketch: take the b&o railroad......straight to hell

good line tbh

-

03:43

angel to ketch: i’ve sent for an expert in these matters

probably gonna be other ketch

-

03:44

WHOA DARK CAS

WAY BETTER

he has a twitchy hamster face

where does misha get these ideas

i kinda wanna draw whiskers on dark!cas ???

-

03:46

THE FACT DEAN CAN GIVE CAS INSTRUCTIONS JUST BY FLUTTERING HIS EYELASHES

and the way he moves his eyes is so soft and gentle and subtle too

it makes my heart feel a thing tbh

even though cas is torturing someone

ugh nonverbal communication is so sexy

-

03:52

DARK CAS IS GERMAN ?????

and there’s........something misha-like in his smile?? that’s weird

-

03:54

I AM INTENSELY UNCOMFORTABLE

his two different eyes are cool though

maybe it’s just a trick of the light, or a very subtle contact lens

-

03:55

fuck yeah that coat

but why is he german, other than clearly being a nazi-inspired character

-

is it just me or is this legitimately the scariest of all misha’s characters

i want to run away and hide

-

actually i kinda wanna cry

-

03:59

that’s better

GOOD CAS, PLZ DESTROY NAZI CAS

-

04:02

ketch: “well helloo~”

ketch: “are you... actually saving me? about bloody time”

gayyyyyyyy

biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

also maybe definitely a destiel parallel from that time cas beat dean up to stop him saying yes to micheal

-

04:05

um?????

that smile when real!cas dragged the blade down dark!cas throat ?????

-

04:08

jack’s like LET ME DO THE THING EVERYONE’S BEEN TRYING TO DO FOR MONTHS/YEARS

IN ONE HOUR

-

04:11

fuck yeah mary

lookin all swish at the back of the war bus

-

04:12

????????????????????

??????????????????????????????????

hOW DID THEY GET THE BUS THROUGH THE TUNNEL THAT HAD THE VAMPIRES IN

DID THEY TAKE THE MOUNTAIN ROUTE THAT WOULD’VE TAKEN SEVERAL DAYS???

WHAT???????????????????

-

04:16

MY HEART IS POUNDING

C’MON EVERYONE YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

-

04:17

mary, bobby, ketch, charlie, jack are safe!!!! SAVE EVERYONE!!! QUICK QUICK

NOBODY LEFT BEHIND PLEASE

except lucifer maybe

except that would probably be bad in the long run

-

CAS IS SAFE

YAH C;MON!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I’M SO STRESSED RN

fuckin feel like i’m trying to pull ducklings one by one through a fence before a dog gets them FUCK

/sobs to self

-

04:19

I;M GONBA HEVA FUCKING HEART ATACK FUHF

-

04:20

WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE BLACK GUY

DO THESE WRITERS LIKE.. HAVE A FETISH FOR DEAD BLACK PEOPLE

WHAT THE FUCK IS THEIR PROBLEM

AND THE CAMERA ALWAYS LINGERS MORE WHEN IT’S THESE WRITERS I’M PRETTY SURE??? someone do a test, go find all the dead black people and check which writers/editors/directors leave the camera lingering for longest

istg these writers do it more often and for longer

-

04:24

aw MAAAAN :C

dean’s “gaBE nO” though. :c :c :c

-

04:26

everyone except gabe :c :c :c

(and no lucifer...........like i said, great now, baaaaaad in the long run)

-

04:29

nobody mentions cas but he’s still there, looking all pretty and being a good, wholesome bean

-

04:30

:C

-

04:30

SEE? BAD

VERY BAD

-

04:33pm

it ends

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh man that was 

........a lot

overall a good ‘un but STILL VERY STRESSFUL

i need a nice calming shower after that, i smell like !!!!!anxiety!!!!

9/10, loses a point JUST BECAUSE OF HOW STRESSFUL IT WAS TO WATCH. THIS WAS NOT FUN AT ALL

BUT STILL GOOD??

I DUNNO MAN I JUST WANT A SHOW WITH THESE EXACT CHARACTERS JUST HANGING AROUND AND BEING NICE TO EACH OTHER AND FALLING IN LOVE AND HEALING EACH OTHER EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY AND BAKING CAKES AND RAISING CHILDREN

to be fair though, my endless almost-what-i-wanted-but-not-quite dissatisfaction with this show keeps driving me to write 81+ fanfics where nice things happen 

so

win-win????

but this show would still be better with dean/cas cuddles let’s be real

[ohwhoopsok]

WIP Game: As always, my dear @silver9mm​, you get whatever you want 🥰 and again how dare you have me invested in a cast for a show I’ve never even watched, I will be reading just about anything you post 😩 but I digress!! The WIPs in question...

9. TW Snakelings (Jaskier/Letho) - I wrote this on my phone during a quarterly meeting and finally moved it to my computer lmao. Geralt unintentionally finds omega!Jaskier after The Mountain Incident where he's living in a small town, happily knocked up by Letho.

10. Stanford Open Door Policy - SPEAKING OF DUST, I think I've posted about this one before, I've been trying to finish it for fffffff ever. Lucifer is a Professor and Sam takes his class, but later winds up in an off-books class on de Sade where Luicfer and the students torture him. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

14. SPN AdamSam - ... this probably needs a dove warning, too, tbh. After being in the Cage Adam is fucked up and not feeling very charitable about Sam's guilt (about leaving him behind and also still wanting him sexually).

Uhhh... sure, snippets under the cut? Heed previous warnings, ye curious.

TW Snakelings

There are very few towns that would allow an unmated Alpha, and a witcher Alpha at that, to make that sort of claim at large. The Head Alphas of this town share their territory with Letho undisputedly.

It’s only when Letho gets close that Geralt feels the world reel in the wrong direction, though. Letho does smell mated, and Geralt recognizes the smell of chamomile and lavender and—

Letho may be bigger than he remembers, but he’s still fast as anything. When Geralt sees red and goes to grab him by the throat, Letho quickly disengages, twisting his arm away and growling like a thunderstorm.

“Where is he?” Geralt snarls.

“You hurt him and I’ll rip your fucking head off,” Letho growls right back.

Standford Open Door Policy

“Now,” Nick says, slightly winded. “Do you want to leave?”

Sam wants him. He can’t find the words for all that he wants, the very idea of any answer he could give jamming in his throat and leaving him coking, unable to draw breath. His fingers are cold on the tile, half gone numb and it feels like that chill has crawled all the way to his chest. All he’s sure of is that he wants Nick, but—

“No, you don’t do you? Even after such debasement, you don’t want to leave, you just want me. Would you like comforting?” Nick asks, squatting down front of him like he’s something interesting and desiccated on the side of the road. “What if I don’t give you that, Sam? Would it be enough if I hurt you, as long as I stayed near you? Hm?”

SPN AdamSam

Adam feels serrated, though. Hard and jagged in a way that is only meant to sink into something soft.

Sam had knelt before him and apologized with tears in his eyes, the softest thing Adam had ever laid eyes on. He hadn’t had the space to miss him with all the pain.

Now, closed in a shitty motel room together, he hates and misses him in turns.