#probably bc i don’t call him little german boy

[starscelly]

can’t get my roommate to care abt Sport or my favorite team but Man Do They Love Timmy Stu

[jester-lover]

Desi s/o making desi food for the Dorm Leaders

Requested by enbytomura (on AO3) Warnings- fem implied reader (but not really lol), food, fluff, brief mentions of dieting, bad dialogue courtesy of Jester

A short cute lil thing :) I hope this encourages y’all to try some indian food bc these are some very basic picks

Riddle

What you make him: Gulab Jamun

Rosewater?! In food?! He’s drooling already

The fluffy center, perfectly toasted outside, completely wrapped in a glaze of rose infused sugar syrup, Riddle is in heaven

He’s holding the spoon with his full, closed fist, elbows on the table, face covered in sugar syrup

His mom would be so upsetti spaghetti, but who cares lol

He’ll notice how messily he’s eating and just take a lil pause, and blushes super hard

Gives you a hug after eating, he’s very grateful

“Thank you so so much.”

Leona

What you make him: Lamb Biryani

He literally smells it from the kitchen and goes zoom

Man runs with purpose

Barrels in and asks for a plate (real respectful)

Tries so desperately not to show how deeply he just fell in love

Adores lamb above all, tender and practically falling off the bone, with the rice practically 

soaking up spices, he won’t even get upset about the vegetables

Expect him to act like it was mediocre, but with the ferocity of his eating, you know better

“The lamb was good, don’t expect me to tell you again.”

Azul

I’m gonna jump off what the requester said abt pakoras

Our boy Azul loves loves loves pakoras

Especially paneer and potato-onion pakoras

With the paneer, he loves how soft and fluffy the soft cheese is, along with the crispy, spiced coating, his favorite sauce for those is the minty cilantro chutney, he’s so happy

With potato-onion, the far crispier of the two, with unraveling layers of red onion and thinly sliced potato wrapped up in the same spiced coating, he’ll eat that one with a tangy tamarind chutney

Literally feed this man please

“It’s my cheat day today, perhaps you could teach me to make what you fed me last week?”

Kalim

What you make him: Gol Gappa

Pani Puri, Gol Gappa, call it what you want, its good and I’m eating it

He probably grew up eating the best of the best, that probably included desi food

Rich people desi food, yknow

This makes him super excited to eat street food

Loves the fun aspect of eating Gol Guppa, definitely swallows in all in one go, reckless abandon for the win

Jamil is so happy for the two hours off he’s getting

Loves the sour and spicy cold water, along with the crunchy hallow flour puffs, definitely loads them up with potatoes

“Wonder if he could add a little more spice…”

Vil

What you make for him: Dal Makhani

Vil probably goes on a vegetarian diet at some point, because of his fondness of salad and smoothies, this didn’t bother him much, but the repetition gets him bored

So of course, you help out your man!

When he finally sits down to eat, his senses are flooded with joy

Loves it so much

The creamy, thick soup, speckled with lentils and beans, green basil and a swirl of white butter, along with a side of roti, or naan to eat it with, he’ll never forget it

One that def loves having desi food regularly, esp during diets he’ll lean back on spices to make his food taste better

He will definitely make you some german food as a thank you, like spaetzle or apple strudel

“Liebling, your cooking is spectacular.”

Idia

What you make for him: Chai with biscuits 

He’s one of those people who forgets to eat during his game sessions

You get a little worried about your guy :( 

Ortho assists you in procuring biscuits as you make chai

Idia is a little startled when you show up with a thermos and a cute little plate full of biscuits

He's so appreciative!!!

Walks with a little pep in his step for a while after (around his room ofc)

Tries to make it for you, with decent results (man is good at following written instruction)

“This is so good, do you want one of the biscuits?”

Malleus

What you make him: Kulfi

We know how much our boy loves ice cream

You know how much your boy loves ice cream

So you make him the objectively best kind of ice cream

Its trial and error at first, and malleus gets a little curious about the mystery project your working on

When you finally present it to him, he's absolutely elated!

His child of man! Made him something with love!

Absolutely adores it so much, literally devours it 

The creamy ice cream on the stick, milky and sweet with a perfect texture, he’s falls in love even harder

Favorite flavor is malai, simplicity and richness is his favorite

“I absolutely adore you.”

[iloveyoutothestarsandback]

Story time 

Today in my politics class our task was to write down stuff we think the state should provide for people and one girl said tampons and other hygienic articles should be provided at public bathrooms.

While every single fucking girl and a few kings with older sisters nodded in agreement, my old (racist) male teacher was like ‘really???? do you think that’s a good idea?’

another boy, who I will call Timmy for this story, was (I’ll try to quote him as best as I can) saying that he could understand that there should be hygienic products in schools and town halls but not in bathrooms at malls because at malls there are adults and they can pay for tampons themselves. The first thing I want to say about this is that I don’t know what Timmy thinks is happening in town halls bc there are adults everywhere and no fifteen year old girls on their period running around, while at malls there are teenagers (mindblowing). Second thing is, that our point isn’t, that only teenagers should get tampons for free or for way less money because they can’t afford it. There are adults too, who can’t afford buying tampons and we need to many tampons in our life time to get them all from public toilets. Those tampons and pads would be for emergencies so we wouldn’t have to do that toilet paper roll.

The next thing Timmy said was, that it wouldn’t be hygienic to just use tampons from public places where everyone is. A this point one of the little kings I mentioned earlier was like ‘uh I’m not super well informed, but I think that every tampon or pad is like packed in plastic. I don’t understand why that would be considered unhygienic.’ and he was one hundred percent right. Also what Timmy tried to say was that hygienic articles aren’t hygienic and it makes no sense to me at least.

The next thing Timmy intoxicated my ears with was, that condoms should be freely available at mens toilets then, because if he wants to have sex with a girl, he has to pay for a condom because he hasn’t experienced a girl buying a ‘female condom’ before. I spoke up at that point cause even my introverted ass couldn’t take it anymore. (most) Sex is consensual which means that you choose to do that and therefore will have to pay for a fucking condom but we don’t choose to menstruate, it is a natural process happening to (more than) half of this worlds population. WE DO NOT CHOOSE TO GET A PERIOD. When I said that, Timmy turned to me and said ‘but if you’d have sex with me I would have to pay for a condom and it isn’t fair’ (at this point I was cringing so bad) Every girl in our class was like wtf and his ex gf spoke up and said that he doesn’t have to have sex and that we do not have any other choice

Then my teacher tried to make a point about trans men and was like yeah but there would have to be tampons in mens bathrooms too and my (female) crush said something like where is the problem with that and then Timmy said that people could steal them and make money and someone replied ‘you could steal the toilet seat too and probably make more money but it would still be illegal’ so there goes that ‘argument’

then our lesson was over and I was just trying to breathe because I have very strong opinions about these type of topics but don’t discuss them with people bc I get the urge to punch them in the face. My friend and I looked up some stuff and got to this point: we get our period about 450 to 500 times in our lifetimes which is about ten years of bleeding and 10000 to 14000 tampons. Using normal ob tampons we spend 1560€ (1617$) to 2340€ (2425$) on tampons, which is a lot of money

later that day my German teacher said that people with anxiety aren’t valid so that was a great day of school

[goblinselfshippr]

❤️Romantic f/o tag explanations+ links

(+Leviathan bc he used to be a romantic but he got switched) fair warning, I don’t keep up with all the shitty musician drama. Warning for medications/experiments/drugs in Albert’s part specifically(which I have moved to the very bottom past Leviathan for that reason).

Vergil- #❤️[A Thousand Years]

Pretty sure most people get this one, it’s the infamous Twilight wedding song. Everyone and their mom knows by this point that I’ve been shipping with this guy since I was like 10, and when you spend that much time writing/daydreaming about a guy it really does feel like we’ve been together for millennia. BUT did you know it is also based off of a wedding dance that I always thought about us doing? It’s a bit of a mashup between this video and this one

Cicero- #❤️[DWTC]

This is actually an acronym for Down With The Clown which is an ICP song… yeah… lol my parents should’ve known I was not gonna be a normal child when they blasted Riddlebox 25/8. Cicero’s entire playlist is mostly ICP because he is in fact an insane clown. I think originally his tag was going to be “My axe” or “chop chop slide” or something but obvs that’s violent and I figured I’d probably need to censor everything if I went with those. I wanted to keep them around 3 words or less, so the acronym was just faster (meanwhile Simeon’s tag exists)

Farkas- #❤️[Tír na nÓg]

*inhale* HOOO BOY this is both a song by Celtic Women and the fae world in Irish folklore. In the song, I’m pretty sure it’s about a warrior who is shipwrecked on an island and sees a faerie that looks like his wife who is trying to tempt him to stay safe with her on the island of Tír na nÓg. My S/Is are exclusively either fae or angels (sometimes both at the same time) but I figured Skyrim has a closer folklore to Norse and Irish and popular culture loves saying they are the same. So yeah, Tír na nÓg because he’s getting tempted by a pretty fae lol

Aizawa- #❤️[Mr. 10pm Bedtime]

This is a song by Girli (one of my top 10 faves) and I really feel like the chorus fits him shdndj especially “Baby, don't tell me you're too old To have a little bit of fun sometimes” and “So tell me one more time That I've been trashing your bedtime I hear you knock, knock, knock On the door and you let me know “Pipe down or you'll have to go!" “ like that is HIM. Our dynamic is very much “loud/flashy/extroverted” and “god I’m so tired introvert”

Levi- #❤️[Under the Willow]

Another lucky guy with a wedding dance. Willow by Jasmine Thompson (warning, the camera spins with the dancers for some ungodly reason so those parts might make you dizzy/motion sick bc it for sure makes me a little nauseous) it’s a really soft song and I kinda only picked it for him because of the line “Down by the water, under the willow Sits a lone ranger, minding the willow” but some of the other parts still fit him imo “If he had spoken, love would return Spoken inside, too soft to be heard” bc that man has a hard ass time conveying emotions. Yes he is blunt, but feelings are embarrassing. (Source: me wanting to disappear the moment I have them). It’s apparently based off of a fairytale called Under the Willow by Hans Christian Andersen

Wrecker- #❤️[Absolutely Smitten]

Dodie song because I was absolutely in my Dodie era with him SHCAKCAB It’s so cute and fun and just feels like him! Esp because it’s easy to imagine my s/i singing this about him (she is a performer) in the bar! I don’t really have a lot to say, these things just lined up. It was a hard tie between this one and Would You Be So Kind, but for me the shorter tags the better.

Simeon- #❤[Kannst du die Engel sehn?]

This is from Die Engel by Eisbrecher, the tag means “can you see the angels” really original i know lmao I love this band and this song(I am not in any means fluent in German, I can only flirt and order food), I have included a video with the English translation. It WASNT going to be five words long, but I felt like just “Die Engel” (The Angel) would NOT work because people wouldn’t understand its not die(English), it’s die(German) + be like “wow that’s a little harsh” 🤣 the full lyric is “Can you see the angels, they fall only for you” which is meant to allude to how Simeon does a LOT of shit he is not supposed to for the MC

Jafar- #❤️[Out of Body]

This is a song by Gorillaz that feels kind of like some sort of cult ritual at first. Allegedly it is about the sort of euphoria you feel dancing at a club or party. Idk feels a lil culty to me(<- has never been to a party). Another one I don’t really have much to say about, in my head it just fits. It’s fun and upbeat and a little crazy/foreboding because this guy is nuts ily tho bby

+Leviathan- #❤️[Break the Internet]

This is from Cyber Sex by Doja Cat exclusively because I didn’t know what the hell to use for him that wasn’t an anime OST song, and I like keeping the music theme. (Sorry bud) I was going to do something from Match to Water by Pierce the Veil(which I feel like is HIS song even if I don’t really feel romantically abt him as much), but I really couldn’t find anything short and snappy that I felt like fit him. And obviously the name of this song would not work on my sfw page 😅

Albert- #❤️[Mr. Doctor Man]

Song by Palaye Royal that has been stuck in my head for the past 6years (shoutout to my ex who introduced me to this band). It’s pretty heavy if you actually listen to the words (alludes to a doctor using illicit substances to cope with the trauma of the job). I’m not completely naïve to the fact that our guy Bertie is canonically a homicidal maniac who absolutely abuses his position to turn people into weird zombie demons or human hamburgers. His story is dark and I wanted his song to reflect that feeling. One of the more recent updates from the game’s creator actually shows a concept art of a kid Albert in some sort of medical testing facility, and I really felt like the song’s themes resonated with him

[wanderer-moonchild]

OK, BUT KAEYA’S LORE????? 

I'd just lowered my expectations for the Hidden Strife quest and hyv gives us more crumbs. I’m one happy girl. Time to theorize! There are maaaany implications about where the story can leads us with this new info.

Spoilers ahead!

Let’s talk about Kaeya first bc he’s my best boy. My understanding is that Kaeya's right eye can somehow identify him as Khaenri'ah. He was already playing pirate before his eye was injured, which is very ironic not only because of his lie, but also because of Khaenri'ah's whole one-eye symbolism. 

So... Does he have a very specific type of heterochromia that only occurs in a select group of Khaenri'ahns or a seal in his eye or what? He wore an eye patch long before his eye was injured, and it’s implied that he showed Diluc his eye as proof of his identity, SO? 

There’s also the discovery that the Alberich Clan are regent royals rather than actual royals. Kaeya doesn’t really have royal blood, but his clan is the one in charge at the moment. 

I've speculated before that Kaeya's family, or whoever survived the cataclysm, is conducting experiments to either break the curse or strengthen themselves to overthrow the gods. We don't know if that's the case, but I find it interesting that the letter Kaeya kept says, “although he could not restore Khaenri’ah to life”, meaning they've already tried that?

I also thought that maybe they were overconfident in their abilities and knowledge, which I think is possible since the rest of the letter says, “We of the Alberich Clan should lead lives as those who blaze like fire rather than those who wallow in the embers.” It seems that the Alberich clan acts on their own, but still have Khaenri’ah’s best interests in mind.

Another minor detail that can meaning nothing: in the letter, it says ‘when the strength of the one-eyed king Irmin failed’. This can be just how they talk, but in the context of the letter it looks as if the Alberich clan considered themselves more capable of ruling a nation than the king and seized the opportunity to take command after the fall of the Eclipse dynasty.

I wonder how much Kaeya knows about the curse, the Abyss Order, and everything else concerning his people.  

I've a feeling that he was trained as a spy as a child (and probably a warrior too since he has a different type of swordsmanship) and probably was born just for the purpose of... Destroying the gods? Avenging his people? Exposing the true of the world? We still don't know exactly what the Alberich clan wants.

The king of Khaenri’ah

We also have a name for the one-eyed king: Irmin, which is VERY interesting, because you know... Irminsul trees?

They're sacred trees that act as pillars between heaven and earth, and in Genshin also store memories of the world and give blessings to people (like the eternal grinding we do in this game because we're all crazy).

I did a little research and in Old Norse Irmin is called Jǫrmunr, which is also known as Yggr, one of Odin's names. There are many connections, so this is a very brief explanation.

I'm far from an expert on Germanic/Nordic mythology, but from what I've read, Odin travels to the roots of Yggdrasil and trades his eye in Mimir's well for knowledge. He gains a divine wisdom and a recognized perception of the world, even though he lacks an eye. This also gives him some powers...

Can the king Irmin in Genshin have done something similar? He gained a terrifying amount of knowledge and Celestia felt threatened by it? He has close relations to the Imirnsul trees and Celestia didn’t approve of that since they wanted to create a world suitable for them?

It is implied that the gods had several reasons to destroy Khaenri'ah - their advanced technology, their alleged thirst for knowledge, the experiments of Gold, their claim of being a godless nation...  

Jean calls the king of Khaenri'ah "heroic," so maybe he wasn't so bad, and the people around him, like the sages and alchemists and probably unknown forces, were the ones in the wrong. 

The Alberich Clan

Alberich is a dwarf who's the "ruler of supernatural beings", which makes more sense to me now. Kaeya's clan is the ruler of the present day Khaenri'ah, a nation now made up of supernatural beings.

If Genshin is going by the multiple epic tales featuring Alberich, I think the Alberich clan has magical artifacts or some other kind of power than we’ve known so far. They tried to restore Khaenri’ah and failed, so they might have started to search for power somewhere else.

They might have created them with Gold’s help? In Der Ring des Nibelungen, Alberich steals gold from the Rhinemaidens in the river Rhein and forges a magical ring. I don’t know if Genshin is going to follow this, but I find the connections very interesting. We’ve Rhinedottir and Alberich in the game, so maybe?

Also, Kaeya talks about a sword his grandfather had that gives its wielder unlimited power. This could be something like the Tyrfing, a powerful magic sword in Norse mythology, or could this be an allegory for Dainsleif?

I say this because Dainslief is the sword of Hogni, the Old Norse name of Hagen, who's depicted as the son of Alberich. He’s half-human and half-something (sometimes elft, sometimes dwarf?), and there are some theories that Kaeya isn't fully Khaenri'ahn, because he has a different appearance. 

Maybe Kaeya and Dain will team up eventually? I would love to see that.

A bit more about the eyepatch

When Pierro appeared with a mask covering his right eye, I thought it might be a custom of Khaenri’ah to show that they belong to a select group associated with royalty. Dain doesn't cover his eye and because he was only a knight, but still connected to royalty bc he was a royal guard, he wore a different outfit.

But Kaeya's right eye, as we know, seems to be important, so maybe it wasn't just a custom. Maybe there's indeed a connection between Pierro and Kaeya and maybe the Alberich clan was looking for the same source of power as the king of Irmin and in return their right eye was corrupted.

This may also be a side effect of the curse, as Dain seems to have been corrupted on his right side. Since Khaenri’ah worshipped the one-eyed king, was their right eye (or the entire right side) corrupted first or in some other way? It would be a very specific condition for the curse, but Celestia is known to be a bit sadistic, so...

[problematicfavesareproblematic]

NSFW with Chuck Grant

~ ~ ~

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

 Charles Grant is a walking example of “acts like a badass, is actually a softie” bc BOY, IS HE HARD (lol) TO GET A READ ON. 

When you first start fucking, he doesn’t really have the instinct to stick around after and soak up the afterglow- mostly bc that’s not the dynamic that any of his previous relationships operated under, but also bc he’s like Lieb and doesn’t feel comfortable being vulnerable and potentially having you reject him. He only confidently leaves the first time, and then he judges whether to stay or not on how you look at him as he makes to get dressed after the second time you boink. If you want your space, he’ll go and be back the next day as long as you let him, but if you look even a little bit offended or hurt, he’s getting his ass back in that bed and doing whatever he can to get that sad look out of your eyes.

When he does stay, he’s down to give you whatever he can manage. 

He’s all for slowly kissing you while trailing his fingertips up and down your side, but if you just want to sleep beside him he is more than cool with it (he’ll probably still pet you a lil bit after you fall asleep bc he’s soft for you but shh shh shh don’t tell anyone). The only thing he isn’t very good at doing is pillow talk, especially right after sex. He’s too worried about saying the wrong thing and fucking up what he’s managed to establish with you. 

It isn’t until after he’s shot that he realizes how nice it feels to have someone else take care of him, and when you do so after sex it solidifies the fact that you don’t see him as a burden- you want him and you want to stay. Thank god, too. He doesn’t think he could recover without you (again, not that he’d ever tell you that)

 B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

 Your AhhhhhhHSSSSssssSSSSSs!!!!!!

Oh wow, look at you- owner of the cutest butt he’s ever seen. Can he put his hands on it? Can he squeeze it? Please please puh-lease can you let him watch it jiggle as he fucks you? If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, then you’ve made each and every single one of his dreams come true. 

He doesn’t discriminate in his love for butts- he’s an equal-opportunity appreciator of the Majesty of the Female Ass™. If it changes size throughout your relationship, he’ll love it even more. Absolutely shameless.

On himself? He likes his legs- especially his thighs. 

He likes how strong they are, despite how much he hates Sobel for getting them to their current strength re: Currahee. But he gets over it quickly bc oh wow is he happy with their endurance while trying to keep up with you, both sexually and otherwise. The day he realized you could ride yourself to orgasm on them was the day he died and went to heaven and was sent back to sin again.

 C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

 He likes cumming on your pubic mound and then watching it slide down your pussy, thank you very much. If you guys are trying for kids or in a position where you don’t have to worry about not having kids, he’ll cum inside of you happily but oh wow he likes watching it slide down your lower lips. BONUS POINTS if he gets to catch it on his thumb and either stick it in your mouth OR circle your clit with it in order to get you off one more time.

Also, you asking him where he wants to cum on you gets him hot under the proverbial collar. 

 D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

 He’d do literally anything for you if you’d let him put his finger in your ass. He will genuinely kill an individual of your choice if you let him put his cock there instead. What a perv (jk it takes a lot of vulnerability for some people to convey their wants and desires to their partners plz remember that this has been a PSA).

The one thing he’ll never actually tell you about... EVER is that for a little while after meeting you for the first time in Georgia, he started hooking up with a girl who he didn’t realize (until much later) bore a striking resemblance to you. He’d had to end the relationship when he straight-up called out your name when he came (he was a lil drunk, just tipsy enough to slip up) and full-on booked it out of there bc not only had he pissed the girl off, but his shout had woken up her family- namely her very angry father- and barely escaped with his life.

 E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

 He’s had two lovers before you, but one of them was really experienced and patient and bless that woman. All he really has to do is learn what you like and he’ll commit it to memory. 

And you better be damn sure that he’ll use that knowledge against you/for his benefit. 

 F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

 Doggy style for all the reasons mentioned before. Or reverse cowgirl. Or normal cowgirl. His hands + your butt= dream combo.

 G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

 He can be goofy, but more than anything else he likes it when you’re goofy. Chuck can get a little too in his own head at times, which can lead to frustration/self-doubt- ESPECIALLY while recovering from his brain injury. You reminding him that sex is meant to be fun does him a huge favor, bc poor lamb will forget that every so often.

So please, nibble at his earlobe in that way that tickles him. Make a quip at the expense of one of your friends. Mock the silly sound of the moan you just let slip out.

 H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

 He’s not going to groom unless you tell him to, but he also doesn’t feel like you need to groom for him, either. Chuck’s not afraid to admit how much his personal hygiene has improved since meeting you. 

I can promise you that if you’re heavily invested in skin/hair care, he’ll probably be just as into building his own routine. 

 I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

 You always have Chuck’s full and undivided attention during sex, but he won’t necessarily show it unless he gets the guy feeling/you tell him that you want him to be. He’s going to whisper sexy things into your ear, call you a good girl (if not his good girl), and do everything in his power (at the time, at least (he can get a little distracted if you’re doing something particularly sexy)) to make sure you feel just how appreciated you are. He gets more and more confident in his PDA as your relationship progresses, but when it’s just you two? You’ll never meet a bigger sweetheart.

 J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

 Ok, so I’m deciding for you that mutual masturbation is a thing that you’re both into, m’kay? 

I'm also making the executive decision that you really enjoy watching him get himself off. You walked in on him one time, before you’d had sex, and were so stunned that you just watched in rapt attention until awkwardly backing out of the room and slamming the door shut. He’d nearly cum right then and there, and it got you extremely aroused. 

The next time you see each other, at some Georgia bar while on a pass, you offhandedly mention that you wish you hadn’t left and FROM THAT DAY ON he always lets you know when he’s feeling the urge and how you’re more than welcome to watch.

And when you do? It’s always a much shorter experience than he intends bc wow how hot are you?

 K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

 Frottage! Dry Humping! Grinding!

Allow me to explain:

In the months following D-Day, it was quickly understood that being on the frontlines meant having traditional forms of sex were no longer on the table (hehe) for you two. You’d experimented with rucking your trousers down your thighs, his thighs, both of your thighs, and each time it was a disaster (with one of the worst times ending up falling onto Tab after he’d inadvertently opened a door that Chuck had been fucking you against. Chuck had nearly thrown fists when Tab refused to look aware from your bare ass.)

So yall started grinding- quickly finding out that the bunches of fabric separating your bodies not only led to new forms of stimulation, but it also meant that you both started to utilize dirty talk. There’s something about your trembling lips at his ear, your warm whispers of ‘so good’ and ‘is this really all you need, Chuck? Me, writhing on you like this? What does that say about you, you desperate boy??’

Boy’s bought a one-way ticket to Boner City, USA.

PLUS! What a way to keep warm during Bastogne? Everyone is so jealous that they don’t have a super foxy megahot babe like you to grind upon.

 L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

 Hmm…..is saying anywhere a cop-out? Because he’s down for anywhere, he’ll follow your lead and rise to the occasion. Such a perv i s2g.

 M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

 ♫ YOOOUUUUUUUU!!!!!! ♫

You have this one eyebrow quirk you do when you’re in the mood, and it just so happens to be similar to the brow raise you give someone trying to outsmart you (which is another turn on for him- you putting some overly-confident sonofabitch back in their place after allowing them to mansplain at you for a little bit. First boner he ever got (since meeting you, obviously) came after witnessing you telling Joe Liebgott to stfu in cutting German after he’d made some off-color comment about your ass.) 

So, more often than not, he'll get a little turned on when you argue with people. Maybe even when you argue with him- who knows? not me. (i totally do, and he totally is)

 N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

 Any sort of pain play, on either of you. 

After being in genuine agony for so long while recovering from all of the surgeries, the idea of seeking any more pain out just doesn’t make sense. Chuck also doesn’t want to see you in pain- even if you’re asking him to make you feel it. You’d both suffered through the pain of hunger, frostbite, insect bites, sunburn, and just war in general (all of which had emotionally taken a toll on him bc he felt completely helpless and hated that he couldn’t do anything to take your hurt away). 

Sex and pain just doesn’t go together for him. Sorry not sorry 

 O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

 He loves having you go down on him, adores the way your eyes look up at him as if you’re challenging him to withstand your beautiful ministrations. 

He also is a big fan of going down on you, but PLEASE PLEASE PUH-LEASE ride his face. Good lord. 

He’s a sucker (teehee) for it- something about you using him like it’s all you keep him around for gets him hot. You also get this certain snarl on your lips when you are getting close that makes him lose his goddamn mind bc WOW YOU ARE SO ATTRACTIVE and HOLY SHIT YOU CHOSE HIM OF ALL PEOPLE? WOWOWOW.

 P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

 He’ll follow your lead/body language in terms of pace. Most sex sessions shift between both slow and deep as well as fast and hard anyway, so he is a fan of both. 

 Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

 A necessary evil, as far as Chuck is concerned. He’ll do them, and he’d be lying if he said that he didn’t enjoy the spontaneity of them, but he would prefer not to be rushed when he’s with you.

 R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

 He was riskier until that one time Tab caught you guys, after which he chilled out. Which you are thankful for, bc you’ve spoken with Lieb’s wife and BOY have those two gotten into some embarrassing situations bc of how risky that kid is. 

 S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

 The longest he's gone is 4 rounds (it was celebratory sex on VE day, with both of you in the best shape you'd ever been in and too high on relief to listen to your bodies. Ya'll were sore and dehydrated afterward but LORD was it worth it.

 T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

 He’d be very open to the idea of toys! On you, he’s automatically cool with it, but it does take him a little bit to get his head around the idea of using toys himself. Again, 40s/50s= somewhat repressed discussion about deviations from the traditional male sexuality- but Chuck is more willing and ready to challenge the societal norms than most. Very sexy of him.

 U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

 He always intends to tease you, but more often than not he gets so turned on that he can’t follow that intention through. You are aware of this and ABSOLUTELY weaponize this knowledge. Get it, fam. 

During day-to-day conversation, however, you both tease each other constantly. It’s been like that since you’ve met each other- always making innuendos and one-upping the other and for some reason that never even went away.

When Chuck woke up and the doctors brought you in to see him, the first thing he told you was that you looked terrible. When you’d replied with a sniff, a smile and a “guess the doc’s were full of shit when they said there was no change in your vision, huh?”- Chuck had smiled so hard it hurt.

 V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

 He’s a choked moan kind of guy. His face gets all scrunched up and his body shakes and he curses quietly under his breath (it’s vv cute and hot, FYI). he doesn’t even try and be quiet on purpose, he just seems to lose the ability to be vocal, tbh. If he’s drinking or if it’s been a hot minute since yall have gotten to do the do, he’ll probably be a bit louder. Like, maybe one loud cry of your name (see: the letter D)

It doesn’t bother him if you make sounds at all, just so you know. If anything, he likes that he’s a quiet cummer bc then he can hear any and all of your sounds.

 W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

 biting your ass while eating you out from behind is *bang* *bang* *bang* *click* *cash register noise*.

Especially if you squeal and smack at him after he does it.

 X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

 Average in all respects but OH MAN does he know how to work it to his advantage. Get ready for a wild ride, my dude. 

 Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

 Higher post-war, tbh. Chuck had had to be on bed rest for so long that he thought he may never get the chance to have sex again, so he totally makes a point to indulge in you every chance that he can get (but he’s cool if you say no, too).

But, as I mentioned in ‘risk’, he’s not going to be humping your leg in public or anything (ok but imagine if you were a dom to his sub and you made him do that holy fuck)

 Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

 He does not sleep very well, poor bb. He will be asleep but his mind will be working through all kinds of things ranging from PTSD to what shoes he wanted to wear to dinner with your parents that weekend. Good thing there’s a remedy to this ailment- your pussy sex with you!

While he can’t konk out immediately, he is able to relax. He will allow himself to get lost in the rhythm of your breathing, the weight of your hand on his arm or your arm wrapped around his middle. He will sometimes nuzzle into you as you’re drifting off to sleep, and when you press a kiss to his forehead he finally feels safe.

~ ~ ~

taglist: @sunsetmando​ @televisionboy​ @now-im-a-belieber​ @tvserie-s-world​ @holdingforgeneralhugs​ @mrseasycompany​ @itswormtrain​ @mrsalwayswrite​ @happyveday​ 

[tanzaniiite]

can i request the trend of tiktok “the faster you get to me the more kisses you get!” with tsukishima, akaashi, bokuto and hinata? 🥺👉👈

“THE FASTER YOU GET TO ME, THE MORE KISSES YOU GET” TREND

w/ tsukishima, akaashi, bokuto, hinata & iwaizumi

requests: OPEN

warnings: talk of pee and poop in iwaizumi’s

a/n: of course you can! thanks for the request! 💓 (also the trend is used more as a prompt than it is as the main focus whoops 🤡)

i added iwaizumi bc he was requested in another ask so i just merged the two. my character limit is still four max!

who gave him the right 🥵

the salt lick himself

this dude is annoyingggg

you already knew what his reaction was gonna be,, so why bother?

welll you just wanted to be like all the other tiktok girls 👉🏽👈🏽

you wait until you see tsukki and yama walking out of the club room and towards you

you’re bracing yourself for the embarrassment

“babe! the faster you get to me, the more kisses you get!”

no shit, he stops in his tracks. yama’s just looking at him like ‘what you finna do?’

you know what he does? turns around and starts walking in THE OTHER DIRECTION

you are… baffled

when finally catch up to him, you’re pouting

“dude, what the hell?”

he glances at you, then flicks your forehead dummy hard

you’re triggered, “did you just flick me?”

this snarky mf is now laughing at you

btw yamaguchi is very uncomfortable rn

tsukishima the leans down, bean pole headass, and kisses your forehead

“sorry i don’t do dumb tik tok trends”

“it’s not dumb! you just didn’t want to kiss me”

he looks at you with an unimpressed look, as if saying, ‘we both know that’s not true’

alas you’re still pouting

yama: “haha this is me, see you guys tmmr” *leaves in awkward*

tsukishima knows your not gonna stop acting like a baby until he gives you what you want

he sighs, walks a couple feet away from you, pulls out his phone and starts recording

“say the thing”

“huh?”

“the trend thing. say it”

your eyes light up so much and tsukki smiles a bit

he’s so soft for you uwu

“the faster you get to me, the more kisses you get!”

because he’s a tall boi, it only takes him a few steps to get to you but when he does, he kisses you hard

like damn, okay sir

when he pulls away you’re flustered asf, he chuckles and stops recording

“happy?”

this poor boy wouldn’t know a tiktok trend if it punched him the face

i hate to say it, but he’s a boomer 😔🤘🏽 just like dadchi

he’s at your house picking you up for a date and your sibling is bombarding him with questions

when you come out, akaashi is like ‘oh thank goodness’

you smile at him, then wack your sibling in their side

“stop bothering him you weirdo!”

“what we’re just having a nice lil chat”

you shake your head and start to walk away but your sibling is holding akaashi back, giving him the typical ‘you hurt her, i kill you’ speech

now you know your boyfriend is great when he’s under pressure but.. this is new territory for him

you remember a trend that you saw a while back and decide to do it now

you know keiji wants your family to like him, so he’ll be conflicted between going to you or staying and listening to your siblings speech

it’s perfect really

so you pull out your phone and start recording

“baby! the faster you get to me, the sooner we can go on our date and the more kisses you’ll get”

my guy just blinks, “it is getting late..”. plus he’s not opposed to the kissing part so he starts to walk towards you

“hey! i’m not done talking to you”

‘that’s true, it would be rude of me to walk away mid conversation… if you could even call it that’ he thinks

you laugh slightly, you can practically see the gears spinning in his head

“keiji come on we don’t have all day”

“don’t you walk away from me”

akaashi sighs loudly. the longer he spends talking to your sibling the less time he has with you. if he walks away, he’s at risk of your sibling hating him. he’s stumped.

suddenly he turns to your sibling, “sorry l/n, we can continue this discussion later. y/n and i have a date that’s very time sensitive. i apologize”

he then walks to you and grabs your hand before walking off

“y’know my crackhead sibling was just mess with you right? you could’ve just walked away”

“i figured, but that’s still rude”

ugh we stan boy who has manners

“so.. um, may i get a kiss now?”

omg he’s so cute i love him 🥺

you grin and pepper his face with a bunch of kisses, making him blush slightly

tbh you don’t even need to ask, this dude is infatuated w/ you

he’ll run to you any day of the week

but what had happened was.. y’all were on a date and bokuto went to go get ice cream

but that was like 15 mins ago and you’re just sitting on the park bench looking like a fool

and ngl you were a little worried bc bokuto is so easy to distract you’re thinking he fell into a pond or something

so you go to look for him and tbh it doesn’t take long cause cmon,, it’s bokuto

he be loud asf

n e ways, there he is in all his glory playing with a German Shepard who looked like it was trying so hard not to bite him

the owner looked nervous asf but was probably too nervous to say something social anixety be like that

bokuto spots you and waves at you frantically

“hey babe! look at this dog! it’s so cute!”

ugh bless him

you send the owner an apologetic look and turn back to bokuto

“it is cute but i think you’re aggravating it.. i don’t want you to get bitten. let’s go”

“it won’t bite me!” *to dog* “right? you’re too good to bite me, yes you are, yes you are”

*inhales* this stubborn kid, so now you got to think of a new tactic

you suddenly remember that bokuto is affectionate x1 mil

he would never miss a chance to be smothered in love

this was as good a time as any to do this trend and save your bf in the process :))

you whip out your phone, “hey baby? the faster you get to me, the more kisses you get”

when i tell you his head SWIVELED

the dude is an owl confirmed 🙌🏽

literally almost trips trying to get to you, now he’s looking at you like an excited puppy ready for pats

the owner gives you thankful look and leaves

bokuto is still staring at you, waiting for his smooches

so you deliver 😌 you grab his face and kiss all around and place a final kiss on his lips

bokuto looks so happy, like he’s smiling so wide rn

all hail tiktok it rly be saving your stupid boyfriend

my bby 🥺

he loves you so so so so much

hinata will do anything for you yes anything

and the feeling is mutual, but sometimes you cannot comprehend what goes on in that mind if his

like,, you could not, for the life of you, understand why he ran into MOVING TRAFFIC

let me tell you what happened

so you were shopping with your friends (and just to clarify y’all were a strip where there’s a bunch of stores on each block)

you guys were just casual walking and then your friend pointed out that it sounded like someone was calling your name

you looked around and there was your orange fuzzy bouncing up and down on the other side of the street

“BABY! BABE! Y/N! LOOK!”

too cute i swear

you smiled and waved, “hi baby!”

“wait until i get across this street imma kiss you so hard!”

cue your friends gagging

you giggle and decide to reference a tiktok cause why not?

“the faster you get to me, the more kisses you can get!”

b-but he thought you were serious

so yes he ran into the middle of a busy street

you are traumatized, paralyzed with fear if you will, you thought your boyfriend was going to die right in front of you

when he finally reached you, you scolded him mother hen mode activated

“why the hell would you do that hinata?!”

uh oh, you used his last name.. not good

“but you said–”

“i was joking!”

oh. now he’s embarrassed and sad bc you’re mad at him

at least he thought you were until you grabbed him and hugged him tightly, “don’t ever do any dumb shit like that again, okay? you scared me”

“i won’t,, but since i did risk my life, can i get a kiss?”

“NO.”

i feel like y’all have a relationship where you guys can be mean(?) to each other w/o getting offended

so you guys are at your house watching Netflix together and he suddenly gets up and leaves your room

“where are you going?”

“gotta piss”

istg i hate the word “piss” but IK he says that instead of “pee”

n e ways you resume watching the show but your bf’s been gone for like 10 mins

you go to the bathroom and knock on the door, “hey, you good in there? it doesn’t take 10 minutes to pee”

you hear him groan, “fuck off”

and then,, it all clicks, “are you constipated?!”

“FUCK OFF”

now you’re laughing your ass of bc what the fuck

“don’t clog my toilet nasty”

“y/n i swear to god if you don’t leave me alone–”

“what? are you gonna fling your doo doo on me?”

you finally stop teasing him and go back to your room

you send him a text, ‘still constipated? 💩’

‘breaking up w/ you is looking mighty tempting rn 🥴’

‘rude 🤧 but hey, the faster you poop, the more kisses you get’

this dude left you on read

and didn’t return until 20 mins later

“damn i know my bathroom stinks now”

“shut up and give me my kisses”

you raise an eyebrow, “i– you took 20 mins”

“okay.. did you want me to get up mid shit and come to you?”

you don’t why but that shit had you cackling, you reach up and pull him close to you

you give him a couple of pecks and a deep kiss

aww he’s smiling 🥺

“i love you my lil doo doo machine”

he pushed you off your bed

tanzaniiite © 2020 — all rights reserved. do not repost, modify, or copy. do not plagiarize. thank you.

[morifinwes]

Lauraa I finished all the fics, apart from decay (currently reading that now) and I love it sm! Especially the lip gloss one lmao the whole thing was so hilarious to me XD but also like the concept of lwj wearing lipgloss is >>> -yibobibo

@yibobibo then i'm going to rec you some more!! the lip gloss one was !!!!! ajsksks yes!! lwj wearing lipgloss is just so!! good!!

modern

this one is the painful one i talked about:

visitations by var_abelasan (12K, wip, divorced wangxian, post divorce, most of this is angst, uhm lowkey don't but also do want wangxian to end up together, it's messy, the jiangs & lans are shitty, wwx was in prison (brief mentions of that but it's kind of a major plot point), mxy & xy are the little brothers he never wanted but wwx picked them up anyways)

"Wei Ying-" Lan Zhan says, stutters, "I'm sorry." 

And now Wei Wuxian sees it, the red rimming Lan Zhan's eyes, the rumpled edges of his blazer. There is an old, familiar urge for him to reach over, to hold Lan Zhan's hand and smooth his hair, to tell him that everything will be fine. 

"We're all a bit sorry about this, I think," he says instead, and finds that he means it. For Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji and everyone else in that Guanyin temple, the pain must be unbearably fresh, like skin just flayed open. But Wei Wuxian's chest had been cracked open a long time ago, his wounds licked and cauterized and sewn shut over five long years - Ever hurting, but a dull, constant ache, "It's really alright, Lan Zhan."

 

Five years after being accused of corporate espionage and losing everything, the Guanyin Scandal breaks open and Wei Wuxian finds a familiar face at his door.

please don't let me be misunderstood by sysrae (3K, partly deaf!wwx, lwj notices, nobody else does though, idk wwx is like made out of fucking steel or some shit)

Lan Wangji has known Wei Ying for a fortnight, the first time he sees him get hit by a car.

light by redkosmos (10K, blind!lwj, which causes angst, but they manage it, best friends to lovers, fluff, lwj being insecure and feeling like a burden, college au kind of? but it doesn't matter too much)

The realization slowly dawns on him.

He can never again see the brightness of Wei Ying's eyes, the way they crescent when he smiles, never again see the rich black of his hair, the mess of it in the early mornings, never again see the beautiful tan of his skin, the beauty of the scars and marks adorned on it, how he wears his clothes, how it hugs his frame beautifully, how he looks like he's adorably swimming in cloth when he wears Lan Zhan's, and-

(Lan Zhan loses his vision in a car accident and learns to cope with it.)

don't leave me by trippinonskies (19K, brief very brief mention of lwj cheating, he doesn't but wwx is afraid lwj is cheating on him or just wants to break up with him, (he doesn't), marriage proposal, lwj acting distant = wwx's insecurities show up, fluff, angst and comfort)

Lan Zhan! Where are you lost today?” Wei Wuxian finally asks, at the end of his patience.

Lan Zhan looks a little guilty as he looks at Wei Wuxian, “Sorry, just a lot of work to deal with.”

Lie.

If there is one thing Lan Zhan can’t do, it’s lying. Especially to Wei Wuxian. But he doesn’t question Lan Zhan. He just accepts the reply, too scared to know that he is right. Too scared to know the truth.

// or where Lan Zhan is too hung up in planning the perfect proposal and ends up accidently ignoring Wei Wuxian making the other think that he wants to break up //

want you closer by xiaobucephalus ((3K, HORSES, only in the background tho, but wwx is an equestrian vet, which is so fucking valid bro, the lans own horses, a sick bunny, lwj the bunny parent!, super cute, dark bay throughoutbred chenqing is honestly so valid)

“Thank you,” Lan Zhan said, breathing a sigh of relief.

“Don’t thank me, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying laughed again, his voice warming the chill of fear that had settled in his chest. “I’ve been looking for an excuse to get into your hutch for a while anyway.”

safe in your thoughts by anonymous (20K, it's a cherry magic au???? (i haven't watched it, but you have i think?), horny lwj but only for wwx (always for wwx))

Wei Wuxian learns three very important things on the night of his twenty-seventh birthday.

One, that Lan Wangji is ridiculously funny, which Wei Wuxian had known before but what Wei Wuxain hadn’t expected was Lan Wangji to be funny at his brother’s expense.

Two, that Wei Wuxian had finally gone mad, absolutely mental at the ripe age of twenty seven because nothing else would explain the third thing he had learnt.

Third, and the most unbelievable of the lot, that Lan Wangji wants to fuck him.

iura by yoo_im_finally_writing (1K, only added bcs op is right and wwx would've the cutest german accent, it's more fun if you understand german so hit me up if you want translations for the german sentences)

Wei Ying calls in the middle of the night to talk about German law, and Lan Zhan tries very hard not to fall asleep. Or at least, not to let Wei Ying notice he's falling asleep. (As best friends do.)

breathe in the air, the last of its kind by wereworm / @neverdoingmuch (27K, getting together, jealous!lwj, but also kind of supportive, brief mention of cheating bcs of miscommunication, no actual cheating tho, college au, lwj pov)

Following Wei Ying’s line of sight, Lan Wangji can barely prevent a smile from crossing his lips when he sees the short row of rabbit statuettes placed at the front of the display. Silver, with bright gems for eyes, they look elegant yet lively and animated.

“A-Yuan would love one of those,” Wei Ying murmurs, almost as if to himself.

Lan Wangji frowns; the rabbits, while cute, don’t seem like a suitable gift for Wei Ying’s A-Yuan.

...

It’s only when he glances back at the rabbits and notices what has been placed on display behind them, that the pieces fall into place. They’re engagement rings, there’s no doubt about it. Lan Wangji feels his heart sink – Wei Ying isn’t just dating A-Yuan, he wants to propose to him.

Or: the five times Lan Wangji thinks that A-Yuan is Wei Ying’s boyfriend and the one time he learns the truth.

paint smears on sunny days by snowshadowao3 / @angstsexual (53K, getting together, art teacher!wwx, single parent!lwj, they're rich if i remember right, wwx & lwj are both good with kids!!!, this is so good actually, fluff)

To say that he runs to his car would be incorrect, as he is a Lan, and running is both undignified and unnecessary unless in immediate danger. Nor does he slam his key into the ignition, or aggressively swerve around the cars on the freeway, or have a mild panic attack at the fact he is picking A-Yuan up late from school for the first time ever.

He comes close, though.

By the time he arrives, it’s 4:35PM, and he has imagined about fifty different worse-case scenarios. The door is partly open when he gets to it, a messy label of 104B—Art Room scrawled with chalk on a placard next to the faded wood. As he opens it fully, he expects to see a wailing, terrified child, or perhaps a scene of utter misery and betrayal.

What he finds is his son, hands covered in paint, being sung to by a beautiful, dark-haired stranger.

“Ducks live in the pond, yellow ducks, happy ducks!”

Lan Wangji stops in his tracks.

(Or: Falling in love with your son’s art teacher, in five parts)

no bunny compares by gusucloudbunny (4K, god this is cute, fluff)

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian cornered his friend one week before his birthday. “If you could have anything in the world, what would it be?”

Lan Wangji furrowed his brow at Wei Wuxian, not exactly sure how to answer that question in a truthful manner that didn’t involve confessing his undying love for his best friend.

Wei Wuxian is on a mission to get Lan Wangji the perfect gift for his birthday. What Wei Wuxian doesn't know is that the only thing Lan Wangji truly wants is him.

wei wuxian's week of realizing things by photojenny (12K, i have read this multiple times, i always forget what happens, idk why but my notes say it's good, the tags say drunkji makes an appearance and i'm always up for that)

"Lan Zhan, do you like Mianmian?" asked Wei Wuxian.

Lan Wangji blinked, and stared. It was not the first time Lan Wangji had questioned the perceptiveness of the boy he had a crush on. Wei Wuxian had been smart in the class they had taken together. Yet time and time again, Wei Wuxian had tested the old wisdom that there are no stupid questions.

---

Lan Wangji must figure out how to confess when Wei Wuxian is the most oblivious person he's ever met.

are you my wisdom tooth? because i'd like to take you out by yellowcarnations (1K, crack, fluff, lwj stop flirting with a stranger, even if he is your husband, drunkji but make it to max level)

Lan Zhan wakes up and he has no idea where he is.

There are bright lights and his jaw hurts, he doesn't who this man next to his bed is but oh he might be in love, maybe, probably, definitely.

–

based off that guy-forgets-who-his-wife-is-and-hits-on-her vid but its wangxian.

beep! goes his heart by wearing_tearing (3K, fluff, lwj is like "he, he likes me right? he likes me" and everyone is like "yes, yes he does")

“Wei Ying’s heart monitor,” Lan Wangji starts.

Wen Qing blinks at him. “Yes?”

“It beeps.”

“That’s… what they generally do, yes.”

“The beeps change,” Lan Wangji continues, “when others are around.”

*

Wei Ying’s heart only sings for Lan Wangji.

canon

obedient and bellicose by thunderwear (19K, lwj is cursed by the lan elders, they notice too late, fix-it fic kind of?, lqr being a good uncle and lxc is a good brother, wwx accidentally uses the curse but he doesn't know about it)

It took Lan Wangji a long time to realize he was cursed. Too long really, anyone else would have noticed so much sooner. The problem was, he liked following the rules.

Ella Enchanted AU that no one needed but I wanted.

hello my old heart, how have you been? by ravenditefairylights (10K, amnesia, fluff, wwx taking care of lwj, so much fluff and softness, angst too but not that much)

The issue is, Lan Wangji brings his thoughts back before they stray too far, that it is impossible for someone to be in his bed, unless Lan Wangji himself invited them. He has not. He would remember doing so, and besides, all his night clothes are still on and there is no headache to imply that he was inebriated last night. No, the situation is simple.

There is someone in Lan Wangji’s bed. It is impossible for anyone to be in Lan Wangji’s bed, and yet that doesn’t seem to have stopped the stranger.

or lan wangji wakes up, and wei ying is there. he doesn't understand how or why, and he can understand even less why his hallucination of wei ying is so insistent on bathing him, and braiding his hair, on holding him and fixing his clothes. why the hallucination of wei ying seems so happy to see him.

teach me the way by likeafox (58K, rogue cultivator!wwx, horny wangxian, lwj wants wwx to teach him how to be a good lover, ....wwx is a virgin, the porn is the plot, but there's less of it than i thought)

"I do not wish to leave my future spouse… dissatisfied with my intimate knowledge,” Lan Zhan says, very seriously. “I am hoping to find an instructor, to better prepare myself for such matters."

Wei Ying feels his mouth drop open. He's pretty sure the Second Jade of Lan just told him he's a virgin who wants to learn how to do sex good.

Rogue Cultivator Wei Wuxian is the stuff of local legends. Some of those legends are even true! The ones about his tremendous experience in bed, on the other hand, are not so true. Which becomes a problem when Lan Wangji, on the verge of an arranged marriage and worried he won’t know how to please his future spouse, enlists Wei Ying's help to teach him the art of love-making. Wei Ying's great at improvisation, though, and is pretty sure he's got this sex mentor thing under control. What could possibly go wrong

other aus

of god: my love unholy by tunnelodfawn (3K, tw blood / war, dark!lwj, god!wwx, kind of poetry)

Lan Zhan takes everything as a sign from his god. The blood staining his fingertips—a holy anointment. He sanctifies himself through blood. The strings of his guqin gleam red in the sun—a divine blessing. This is an instrument of destruction. A single note—a cry of power—and in this note the voice of his god unravels the earthly threads tethering man to earth.

The Yiling Patriarch blesses Lan Zhan with war. Wei Wuxian blesses Lan Zhan with agility. Wei Ying blesses Lan Zhan with love.

The base of the Yiling Patriarch’s shrine is the home of Lan Zhan’s knees. He worships. There is something of the blasphemous and the unholy in his prayers. He prays not for victory but for the sight of Wei Ying. Bless me with your presence, he begs.

Or, wherein, Lan Zhan bridges the gap between the mortal and the divine—the worshipper and the god—with blood.

the river and the sea by sasamelons / @sasamelons (7K, soulmate au, arranged marriage (wangxian with each other), they're both kind of dumb but i love it)

Lan Wangji gritted his teeth, wishing to just be left alone. "I am looking for my soulmate," he ground out.

"Oh."

It took Lan Wangji a few moments to realize that Wei Wuxian had stopped following him. When he looked back, the other boy seemed to be frozen to the spot, eyes wide and lips still parted. He quickly looked away when he saw Lan Wangji looking back. "I see. Well, have a good trip!"

--

At six years old, Lan Zhan met his soulmate on the streets of Yiling and promptly lost him again.

At sixteen years old, Lan Wangji met his betrothed and was determined not to like him.

[uno-writing]

What breed of boi would the UnO boys be?

So I’ve been loving maisielynnie’s series on the different breeds of boi on tiktok (linked below if you wanna check it out :)) so I wanted to categorize the UnO boys I write for! (i included a little bit of what she says about the breeds of boys so you don’t have to watch the tiktoks unless you want to. I would recommend it tho bc i love her energy)

John - Husky

*tall, dark and handsome fellow

*maybe some piercings/tattoos

*pretty eyes

*if you wake them up to early they just kinda sit there and groan a bunch

Arlo - German Shepherd

*smell amazing, no 2 in 1

*fantastic sense of style

*don’t need to say much to convey a message, like they give you a look and you know

*doesn’t put up with any bullshit, especially when it comes to protecting the people they care about

Blyke - Boxer

*not afraid to get their hands dirty and they get shit done

*they’re the ones you call when your car starts making a funny noise, and they fix your car, the sink and your day

*even though they very very masculine, no toxic masculinity here

*just love spending time with you and seeing you happy

*once you get to know them and they care about you, some of the most loyal people you’ll ever meet

Isen - Chihuahua

*some of the best dry humor you will ever see

*when they roast you, it would probably be fatal, but you know they’ll square up for you without hesitation

*they make comments under their breath that have you rolling for days

*has some serious resting bitch face because they are bitches, but they’re your bitch

Holden - Pitbull

*look really intimidating

*once you get to know them, they're really really sweet.

*they may look really scary but they have super cute and niche hobbies

*literal scary dog privileges

Zeke - AHHHHH she doesn't have one that fits him so uh...let's make him a dalmatian boy (idfk 💀)

*smart boy. pretty boy

*good hygiene/sense of style

*very eager to please boys

*kind of affectionate when you get to know them

Rei - Golden Retriever

*very loyal an protective

*just wants to make others laugh

*smart boi but can be dumb from time to time

*goofy

*lil rays of sunshine

[danwylds]

Right okay I never actually got myself to write this fic so have my notes for the fic except I haven’t read through them since June when I wrote them and I refuse to edit anything

Right is bakery au but not

Neil either turned down the offer of exy for the foxes or for coach whatever the fuck his name was

He got caught earlier tho which is . Unfortunate

Stuart still comes in

Maybe I’ll have him move back to Britain for a while? To avoid the moriyamas n stuff

He NEVER misses a match of the ravens/foxes tho

Which leads to him seeing the frankly sickening interview of Kevin and riko

Neil is like yo Stuart let me start smth

Stuart is like Neil the only reason you’d go back to the states right now is if you did smth that you could hide and you can’t do that for shit

So Neil is like yk what I’m gonna find a way bc I’m not letting this kid go through this (Andrews quite into this idea when it’s shared)

So he says yo. Stuart. Uncle. Sir. Let me open a bakery or something in the states

Stuart is like no you fucking idiot

And Neil is like but c o n s i d e r

You can get info or smth

Just have another business in the states yk

AND I’d get out of your hair

And Stuart is like hm okay but you’ve gotta live in a complex I choose for you

And Neil is all only if I can choose where it’s gonna be

It’s a deal

He (very obviously) chooses a place near palmetto

Stuart is tired but is like he’ll be under protection n shit so I guess??? And he’s not stupid enough to start something right. Right.

Wrong.

Anyways.

It’s a bakery that starts out kinda slow

But Neil finds he likes baking and Stuart pays for his nephew to have some sort of normal life so it doesn’t matter too much

Renee starts to frequent it

At first it’s to pick up sweets for Andrew

But eventually she starts bringing Allison on dates there bc they have a cute little seating area (figure where Seth fits in? I think he’ll survive?)

Uhhh what’s a timeline

I think this’ll be around the winter holidays (Jewish neil? Look into it)

So thanksgiving will have happened . I think Andrew agreed to go Not bc he particularly wanted to but bc he cares for Nicky and knows he’ll probably go anyways

Yeah so thanksgiving. h

Andrew JUST got off his drugs and he’s so damn protective of his own that he hardly even leaves their sides

Edens is a def no for em

Meanwhile Neil is tentative friends w Renee who has brought all the upperclassmen there a few times

Allison bullies him for his clothing but it’s okay he deserves it

Renee is sweet and stops em from doing anything too drastic which Neil appreciates

Matt,, my baby,, he’s so happy he just asks Neil about random stuff

Dan is sweet too!!

Seth kinda hates him but Neil hasn’t paid enough attention to return the favor

One day close to the winter banquet the upperclassmen are like yeah Neil we’re gonna go to this thing and it should be really fun!! Oh you know what? Our teammate Nicky needs a date and his cousin doesn’t really like anyone from his class and he’s super fucking crazy abt it so if that doesn’t deter you then you should totally join !

Neil is like oh chance to fuck up Riko? Absolutely I’ll go

ALLISON DRESSES HIM

HE LOOKS SO GOOD

when he and Allison emerge from the girls room Aaron is like Who is that

And Allison is “oh nickys date (:”

Andrew gets twitchy and holds a knife to her throat

Renee is like Andrew I stg get away from my gf and Seth is like manic pixie nightmare fuel I’m gonna beat the shit outta you

And Neil is just like same shit every day I guess

And he’s like so you’re Nicky then? COMPLETELY IGNORING YK. ALL THAT

Andrew is like “he is. Don’t touch him”

And Neil straight up says I don’t think you get to set boundaries for people, actually

And Neil has no idea what the effect is of that on Andrew but it’s enough to make him glare

Which is terrifying to everyone but Neil bc again. Dumbass

Anyways Neil very purposely hooks his arm through nickys and they head off to the bus

Dunno what happens there but I’ll figure it out

RIKOOO ROASTTT **AIRHORNNNNSSS**

It’s glorious

Kevin and riko are like who the FUCK are you

And Neil is all wouldn’t you like to know weather boy

They relocate and they’re all like . Ah. That’s why you and Renee get along

It’s kinda funny ngl

Andrew doesn’t think so but fuck him

I think that they head back to the bus when this shit I’d over and wymack is like excuse me what the fuck

And Aaron in german is like thank god he never joined the team bc I could not handle more of that

And Neil in German is like would you believe me I’d I told you I was almost signed

And Andrew is like I fucking Knew it I hate it here

N e ways things go back to normal for the most part

The upperclassmen still show up

Seth has a bit of grudging respect for him

It’s later that all the foxes are getting drunk from a lose that Renee calls him and is like Neil please can I usher them inside for a bit I think they need a place to chill so we don’t get yelled at for being too loud in the dorms

And Neil is like uhh sure why not

It turns out it was not just the upperclassmen

He gives them all water bottles and whatever and lets them lounge around

Gives em some food which they pay for w the coachs card

Uhhh idk time passes and some of the foxes pass out so neil is like y’all can chill in the break room? They have couches

He stays out there bc the bakery is still open

Andrew comes out like hey fuck you but also can I get more of those pastries

Idk I want them to be in love already

Uhh yeah I think they don’t say anything until

“what happened to your face”

“A truth for a truth?”

“If you must insist”

“Fine, my father tried to kill me”

Andrew raises his eyebrow but neils like bitch you said a truth for a truth it’s your turn now

Neil asks him why he wears arm bands

We get the whole knives and scars

They’re quiet again

I don’t know man let them be in love

Uhhh okay

I think Andrew will tell neil like

“[code]”

“Huh”

“That’s the code for the court, Kevin practices at night.”

Neil is like how would you know I’d enjoy playing exy? And andrew is like dipshit that’s how we met

I’m running out of ideas oh no

Maybe they play a couple of night game things

Exchange a few more truths

OHHH OKAY COOL SO THEN NEIL CAN GO TO EDENS W THEM THE WHOLE “DOESNT MEAN I WOULDNT BLOW YOU” THING CAN STILL HAPPEN

sick okay! They start dating but since Baltimore happened earlier they never actually come out to the rest of the team

I like to think when they play against the ravens again neils like haha babe you can have as many sweets as you want if you shut down the goal

Also Neil says it’s hot which is like a big thing to persuade Andrew but shhhhh

Yeah the foxes win they celebrate by getting drunk and they all show up at neils like hello again (:

Same thing happens but this time andrew and Neil are together and basically are doing nothing but making out

At least the store is closed

Nicky comes out and just YELLS

YALLLLLL COME LOOK @ THIS SHIT

Allison wins SO much money

Yeah idk how to end this but happily ever after :3

If you want me to turn this into a fic I will!

[wetalkinboutbooks]

New Year, New Review 🤩

A Sky Beyond the Storm by Sabaa Tahir

Summary: The long-imprisoned jinn are on the attack, wreaking bloody havoc in villages and cities alike. But for the Nightbringer, vengeance on his human foes is just the beginning.

At his side, Commandant Keris Veturia declares herself Empress, and calls for the heads of any and all who defy her rule. At the top of the list? The Blood Shrike and her remaining family.

Laia of Serra, now allied with the Blood Shrike, struggles to recover from the loss of the two people most important to her. Determined to stop the approaching apocalypse, she throws herself into the destruction of the Nightbringer. In the process, she awakens an ancient power that could lead her to victory--or to an unimaginable doom.

And deep in the Waiting Place, the Soul Catcher seeks only to forget the life--and love--he left behind. Yet doing so means ignoring the trail of murder left by the Nightbringer and his jinn. To uphold his oath and protect the human world from the supernatural, the Soul Catcher must look beyond the borders of his own land. He must take on a mission that could save--or destroy--all that he knows. (Taken from Goodreads)

Our Ratings:  

 → Geena:  ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

 → Kae: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Overall: The final instalment of the Ember Quartet had us crying in the metaphorical club. It’s exciting, terrifying, and probably the horniest book in the series and we loved it!

~Spoiler-full discussion below~

The Good:

→ Elias and Laia

Geena: In the final instalment of the Ember quartet, Sabaa deprives us of an Elias POV and slaps us with the Soulcatcher instead… He’s very much an ‘emotions are bad’ type of dude, the opposite of Elias who always had so many… but both of them are so angsty? The Soulcatcher really likes to beat up trees when his memories from when he was Elias resurface which was so emo to me. Despite being possessed by Mauth he is also such a coward, especially around Laia, because Elias’ feelings for Laia scare him and every single time he is like *running emoji*. We were surprised that Sabaa let him remain the soulcatcher for so long, every chapter I was like ‘Okay, maybe this is where Elias breaks through…’ but no.. Elias remained buried UNTIL their night in the cabin… the Soulcatcher was like ‘k I’m out’ but ONLY for ONE NIGHT and that still makes me scream.. The Soulcatcher was like ‘you kids are too horny for me, I’m gonna take a nap for a bit and let Elias take over bc Jesus.’ 

Despite it all, the Soulcatcher’s chapters were enjoyable albeit painful because this man was so duty bound, like even Elias wasn’t that dedicated when he was a Mask. But near the end, when we finally get the chapter that starts with Elias…. Ngl I cried a little, and immediately wanted to reread the whole series (I feel like Sabaa did this on purpose to torture us). I want to fight Sabaa though, like she did an amazing job showing how Elias’ conscious and the Soulcatcher’s conscious were constantly fighting one another, and how Elias’ memories of the people he loved ultimately fuelled the Soulcatcher’s actions… even though the Soulcatcher was like ‘I’m doing this for the ghosts’ like okay… no ghost told you to keep protecting and kissing Laia but you still did it…  

Kae: Okay, so Geena summed up my boy Ilyaas pretty damn well. Also, we LOVE HIS ETHNIC NAME IN THIS HOUSE. But um, YES. Elias was a sad boy ™ the whole time while fighting his emotions and ultimately losing. It was so PAINFUL as a reader, seeing all of  his chapters except the ONE say ‘Soulcatcher’. But when it finally said ELIAS again, I too, started to cry. Because he was BACK. 

You can all thank the power of Laia’s determination to seduce Elias back to himself, because our girl was NOT giving up. She said ‘you gonna get this coochie, dammit’ and in the cabin, Elias was like ‘well i’ll be damned. I sure as hell am. I am BACK BAYBEEEEE’

Geena: Sabaa Tahir said horny rights like ksjdnfdsjknfsdk

Kae: AUFVAHLHVKJ. BUT YES. In the end, love won. And so did sex because everyone was doin it or TRYING to do it. I guess when the world is ending, you only get one last time to uhh…. Have a good time. So they made sure they did lmao 

Now, let’s get into Laia. 

Laia. My sweet little cupcake. My mug of tea with too much honey. This girl has been through literal hell and back, and yet, she kept going. She NEVER gave up. Laia woke up in book 4 like ‘Today i will commit crimes. Helene and I crave violence’ and they both just started kicking ASS and I LOVED THAT. I was really happy to see the progression of Laia and Helen’s friendship and how they genuinely grew to like one another and see each other as besties. They both deserved a girl friend and I’m glad they found a friendship within each other. 

Laia is the bravest character in this damn book. She went from poor scholar, to slave, to hero and she was brave because she had to be. Laia is strong and took on their entire world. She had help, but she did a lot of it alone and that takes some real guts. She is the most genuine, sweetest, bravest girl and I love her. <3 

Laia also single handedly brought the Ilyaas back from his Soulcatcher shit. During this whole book she was just like ‘You know what? I think I’mma go mess with Elias’ emo ass today to see if I can get him to kiss me or something’ THEN SHE PROCEEDED TO SHOW UP AT THIS MANS HOUSE (realm or whatever) BUTTASS NEKKID. And he saw her and immediately flew the hell out of there it was TOO MUCH and he LIKED IT but couldn’t admit it. 

Geena: You know what I love about that whole scene was like earlier she was like ‘He’s a lost cause idc’ and then Darin was like ‘Elias wouldn’t give up on you if that happened’ and Laia was like ‘you’re right, he would show up stark naked and try to seduce me back to my body’ and she did just that...

Kae: SHE DID. SHE SHOWED UP AND SHOWED OUT! Like, her entire mission was to bring Elias back while also planning on taking down the Nightbringer. But she was straight up like ‘okay but not before i get my man back through SEDUCTION’. Ugh, the mango scene?  Superb. 

Geena: Laia is hands down one of my favourite book characters to exist. Her journey from the first book being a scared girl with a missing brother, to being the face of a revolution… like the GROWTH. Like Kae mentioned, she and Helene end up as BESTIIEESSSS, and I was surprised at how natural they seemed. Because we went from them hating each other to close friends, but despite not seeing their development, it came off so natural? So, I loved that! 

Kae covered Laia’s character pretty thoroughly, she was both a horndog and a bad bitch. Like this girl has pretended to be a Slave for the Commandment to travelling a desert by herself and facing off a squad of Jinn… In retrospect, Laia is a unique case, she’s allowed to be kind and caring and doesn’t have to be a fighter type to be strong. She’s not the chosen one, which this book made clear, it could’ve been anyone to fight the Nightbringer… but only Laia was strong enough to love him AND defy him. And I just love her a lot… she was very much an anime protagonist with the power of love, family, and friendship… anyways I love her and that’s all I have to say

→ Helene 

Geena: The way I ended up liking and rooting for Helene this book? Came out of left field. To be honest, in previous books I didn’t feel much for her other than ‘stop chasing after Elias and Laia pls.’ But this book I wanted her to win, especially with the fight against the germanic-esque invaders. She goes through substantial development, no longer seeing Scholars as slaves and taking their opinions seriously.. Like Laia, Musa, and Darin were all a part of her crew. A stark difference from Book 1 Helene, who thought Scholars only had one role in the world and that was slaves. 

Helene… like Laia… really has the Ember equivalent of hot girl summer with Harper… all the time she spends denying it she is like *jumps on him the chance she gets*. The bath scene… Helene’s power was turning her tortuer into her MAN… But also Sabaa said that ‘yes she has changed, but she has to repent for her sins’ and that’s why Helene is basically left alone at the end (save for Laia, Elias, and Musa). 

Kae: So not gonna lie, I never actually disliked Helene. I saw her as the flawed character she was in the beginning. During her cat and mouse chase with Elias and Laia in the beginning, she would piss me OFF because like, that’s your BEST FRIEEEEEND. JUST STAAAAHP. But also, it was him or her and her family's death, so I get it. But I always saw potential in her to be better. And thank GOODNESS she went through all that character development. Because she was a damn menace in the beginning. 

Also like Geena mentioned; Helly and Harper finally hooking up? I swear the heavens opened up in that moment because EVERYONE could feel their tension. LIKE JUST DO IT ALREADY. You can’t fight love, baybeeee

Watching Helly grow as a person was really rewarding as a reader. Like Geena said, she went from hating scholars to being like ‘hmm, maybe my opinions are shitty?’ and straight up changed.  I also feel for her because she lost her ENTIRE family and like, honestly? I would’ve given up. BUT SHE DIDN’T. She’s a literal fighter, bred for this shit. So she FOUGHT. And I was really scared she was gonna get murked because y’all know Keris’ tiny evil ass doesn’t have a chill button. And when they were fighting? I was like LAWD PLS DON’T  TAKE HELLY. But instead he took Harper *upside down smiley face* SO THAT WAS FUCKED UP AND I WASN’T READY FOR IT. But a piece of me knew it was coming. 

The Bad:   

→ Darin and Harper

Geena: As Kae mentioned… Harper kicked the can in this book :’( His eventual fall came from loving and caring for Helene too much, which left him open and gave Keris the chance to stab him. Harper was basically Helene’s heart outside her body, and when he went down so did Helene. I had had a feeling when Book 3 ended that Harper wouldn’t make it, but I WASN’T HAPPY ABOUT BEING RIGHT FOR ONCE… Harper had finally met his brother (Elias) and hadn’t even had a chance to meet the real Elias and talk to him about their father or other sibling stuff. LIKE OF ALL CHARACTER DEATHS… AND THERE WAS A LOT… The other one that came out of left field was fucking Darin of Serra… DARIN… THE ONE DUDE WE SPENT TWO WHOLE BOOKS SAVING… DEAD WITH A SNAP OF HIS NECK!! I WAS SO MAD

LIKE SABAA HAD US THINKING HE WAS GONNA BE SAFE, SHE GAVE HIM A LIL GIRLFRIEND AND EVERYTHING BUT THEN SHE GOES.. AND KILLS HIM?? JUST LIKE THAT?? Then we had to read the scenes where Elias helps both Darin and Harper pass over into the afterlife and I was just *cries angrily* 

Kae: Well, THAT was sad. Have you ever just like, felt your heart break into a million tiny irreparable pieces? That’s how I felt when Darin and Harper died. Because like, they were both trying to save the women they loved. Darin to Laia, (foolishly so against the Nightbringer) but I would do it for my little sister too. And Harper with Helene against evilass Keris. Dude, that shit just sucked. It hurt to read. It hurt to imagine the girls feeling the pain of their deaths. They were both such good men. And DARIIIN. 

Darin didn’t have to go out like that, man. It was such a harsh death. No last words. It was just over and his body was just gone. I wish Laia would’ve been able to talk with him at The Waiting Place at least one last time. But it is what it is. I hated to see both of them go. Especially since Darin pretty much sparked this whole series. 

Sure, Laia, Helene, and Elias were the main characters. But Darin was the spark that started the fire. And he didn’t even get to see it’s flames extinguished. 

Geena: He was the ember in the ashes… literally like Sabaa uses that for Elias and Laia but it applies to Darin the most

Kae: LITCHRALLY gonna get teary eyed over here. Our boys deserved better :( 

Conclusion 

Geena: This was not at all a disappointing end to the series we’ve followed closely for so long. The different plot points and character arcs were tied up nicely, and Sabaa Tahir showed us once again why she’s one of the best fantasy writers on this side of the Milky Way. We didn’t even bother including a ‘The Ugly’ section because we loved it too much ksfmsd. The only qualm I’d have with the end was the empire remaining, Helene recognized the Scholars as equals but centuries of pain isn’t easily forgotten you know? SO THAT’S WHY I THINK WE DESERVE A SEQUEL SERIES… BUT I DIGRESS… OVERALL, I loved this book and the ending for all the characters ESPECIALLY FOR OUR GIRL LAIA <3

Kae: YES. I AGREE 100% WITH GEENA. It was such a beautiful end to the series. Sabaa is  GENIUS and her storytelling is phenomenal. I loved every little surprise she’s hidden in all of the books. ESPECIALLY WITH COOK BEING ALIVE? I DIDN’T SEE THAT SHIT COMING AT ALL. LIKE HOLY SHIT? So Laia had some remaining family afterall, and I think that’s very sweet. I’m really sad to see the series be over with and Geena and I are both *~HOPIIIING~* for an epilogue or some little crumbs or SOMETHING with the gang and how their lives ended up into middle adulthood or something. 

Geena: I would literally take a single paragraph… Ms. Tahir…. Blease…

Kae: But yes, in conclusion, Laia has a heart of gold and we LOVE HER. She’s brave and strong and smart, and was the only one out of THOUSANDS to stick for herself and defy the Nightbringer, and save the whole world. Helene has come a long way and she developed beautifully as a character. And Elias. Ohhh, Ilyaas. His continued self sacrifice and bravery and love still helped him live in the end and I think that’s beautiful. 

[mavspeed]

got tagged by @hellfre and im sorta bored so 

20 questions, writer’s edition!

How many works do you have on AO3? 31... whoa

What’s your total AO3 word count? 527217 which is strange all my fics r so hideously long i thought i would have hit one mil by now

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? X-Men, IT 2 but there’s only one fic for that lol, kingsman and netflix bodyguard, and one fic for WW 2017 which... depressingly remains the fic with the highest number of fics in my profile

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 

the labour of our love (again, its depressing that this is still getting hits. please stop reading this. please)

and we can be pirates

east end lights (please stop reading this one too Please)

in the valley of kings

lover boy rules (DEFINITELY STOP READING THIS) 

Do you respond to comments, why or why not? for multichapter fics yes cos i love catching readers up on whats happening or whats about to come next but for oneshots not really, i love love love comments but sometime i never have the energy to reply lmfjgjgjk

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? oh god it is definitely tequila on a beach, this one was fucked Up and i was in a shitty place mental wise when i wrote it. i think i’ve written quite a few major character death fics already but none are as depressing and tragic as that one in particular, i really pulled all the stops out for that one lmfjgjkjgk

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? my oneshots have pretty happy endings i think... both if we’re talking about happiest it Has to be my old man is a bad man. nothing happier than killing your abusive husband and getting your sexy detective boy on the side helping you to get away with it

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written? was gonna say one but i’ve written TWO !! kingsman/bodyguard was a crossover ship i thought up way before rocketman released with two of my besties and while i dont write for it anymore i sure hope people Are still writing for it (also i take full credit for publishing the first story in the eggvid tag and getting the ball rolling. thank me.) and xmen/lucifer. my second part in the charlifer series is still in the works maybe ill be able to finish it at some point

Have you ever received hate on a fic? on ao3 no, but when i was a kid i used to write on ff.net and while i got a shitton of comments (im talking like in the Hundreds) more than 50% of them were not good. i think i deserved it cos my writing was shitty but also ff.net is a dark, dark place

Do you write smut? If so what kind? sometimes if it fits into the storyline of the fic i guess? i actually absolutely detest writing smut i wrote smut for the mummy au not bc i like writing it but bc i felt bad for putting charles through so much shit in that fic i was like he deserves to get good dick for once. and then i promptly ruined it in the next few chapters so

Have you ever had a fic stolen? YEA LMGFHFJ it was my apoc charles au where charles is one of the horsemen, there was a fic that was VERY similar, like IDENTICAL, and the similarities were just too much for it to be coincidental. i never did call them out on it tho bc their fic was good too. probably bc it was stolen FROM ME 

Have you ever had a fic translated? nope :(

Have you ever co-written a fic before? also no. i think i’d be annoying as someone to co-write with lol the one time i discussed an au with syd i ended up killing charles off halfway even if it was happy and he almost killed Me

What’s your all time favorite ship? cherik my beloveds

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? its the castlevania au and not because i don’t have ideas for it but because every single time i start to think about how i’d continue it i always end up with killing charles off. its like no matter what i want, charles always dies in the end in that fic, but i dont Want him to die so uh. its never getting finished unless someone can give me an idea on how to make the gay boy live

What are your writing strengths? i honestly have no idea. making shit depressing i suppose

What are your writing weaknesses? coming up w a good plot is a massive weakness for me

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? honestly it can get lost in translation and the few times i’ve ever used german in a fic i always get told in comments that thats not actually the way it works so. but hey if ur a native speaker then go for it

What was the first fandom you wrote for? harry potter.... it was a dark time

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? i am so proud of my cherik man from uncle au not just bc i think the cherik dynamic i wrote is fantastic in there (humble i know) but also because i loved writing raven in it. i think its like the Only fic where i didn’t just focus on cherik and it actually led me to realise i love writing sapphics- also it gave me an opportunity to fix charles-raven in my own little way and turn them from siblings to best friends and partners in crime which was really fun. anyway i love that fic and i love my gay little spies

tagging: leaving this open but if u wanna do it, feel free to say u were tagged by me !!

[mcrmadness]

Wanna see something stupid? I finally scanned some of my old die ärzte doodles. I bet these happened in 2009 or so, when I was 18. My brother said we usually used to draw all kinds of stupid doodles while watching die ärzte videos late at night and if I was 18, then that means my siblings were about 14 at the time.

Okay so first of all: I was OBSESSED with dä’s Serienklassiker and the Die Biene Maja sketch, and because I didn’t have my “human style” yet, I used to draw just horses and rats everywhere. Like this:

This^ paper is simultaneously my favorite, because of the doodles, but also the most cringeworthy thing ever, because of ME. Like. I did not speak ANY German at that point. Only word I was able to pick up from the skit was “aber” which Farin repeats a couple of times in it. Back then it was way too hilarious but now as I actually can some German, whenever I look at these doodles I just wanna hide under the ground and never show my face again. I mean, it’s a VERY COMMON GERMAN WORD and I made it into something hilarious because of how Farin pronounces it and because it legit was the only thing I could write down too. Probably the first German word (after “die ärzte”...) that I ever learnt. I just can imagine how idiotic this doodle looks like for native Germans, it would be exactly the same if some Finnish band had some stupid skit and a foreign fan understood only the word “mutta” (=but) from there and then kept writing it everywhere because it sounded so hilarious. So yeah, the cringe is real! And I’m sorry for your suffering if you have read all the way here</3

But wait! There’s even more...

I think those are heavily related to this drawing that has doodles from me and my siblings.

Mostly these are mine but but those characters at the right bottom corner are my brother’s (I think they are again to be about the dä’s Die Biene Maja version). Some of those little dust ball thingies are also by my brother but also by our sister, same with the coconuts and the stuff on the left. We weren’t even completely sure which is whose anymore... I think the dust ball right between those two horse heads is by me - about the apple cores I’m not entirely sure. Then I think from the bottom row horses the one on the right was probably otherwise drawn by me but I think my brother drew the eye and nose etc. for it. All the texts are written by me.

(The doodle on the right top corner is based on something I drew into my physics notebook at school as a teenager. I don’t know what other countries teach to very young kids about electricity but here they always talked about “electricity trolls” and that the circuit boards as tehir “cities”. So once I was extremely bored in physics class as a teen and in my head I kept answering with everything snappy to the teacher’s questions and one was “what is moving around in power chords?” and in my head I just went “Well duh, electricity trolls...” and then I drew some electricity trolls into my physics notebook lmao.)

And then, here we’ve got some more apple cores, a cloud of some sort, “BF Milk” because I’m stupid, an “Igor apple” because of Igor obsession Richy Guitar + bc idk what was wrong with me around the time. I think I had been talking about chemistry and physics because that one word there is something to do with physics and my old notebooks.

And here some more weird-ass doodles:

“Kitaristi” is actually a pun, my brother did something with that at school back in the day. You maybe can guess that it means a “guitarist” in Finnish but it also has two words in it: kita and risti. Those mean “mouth/palate/throat” (usually something big like a dianosaur’s or a big cat’s mouth) AND “cross”, which is why in the image there is one of my dinosaur-like characters with a cross in its mouth.

Then there’s a cat with trousers, a hair or toupee that is walking away(???) and some weird four-legged bird with a bun. And I used to have a Sony Ericsson phone so I tried to write/draw the logo.

And here’s yet another. There’s a girl tooth and boy tooth. A cat, car, rat, another cat and a female character from my OC comic Micro the Insane Murderer. Then I have drawn a puzzle because of Bela and Farin, a couple of hedgehogs because one of Rod’s 90s hairstyles reminded me of a real fur hedgehog toy we had and I had to draw that toy. Then apparently I have drawn some vultures but I have no idea why.

And last but definitely the least, probably the most awful thing I have ever drawn and I regret it greatly:

I had pet rats. One of them was called Batman. And for whatever reason I had to draw him with Bela’s pants that I used to call as “suomuhousut” which means “scale pants” because they looked like scales. You’re welcome.

Kids, don’t do antidepressants, they make you really lose all your inhibitions. (Just kidding, take them if you really need to. But my own personal opinion? Never again.)

[teknicaldifficulties]

My brain is void of any questions as of right now, so this is kinda basic (sorry!) but what is one interesting fact about each of your OCs?

Oooohoho, yeah. These guys have some History, so this'll be fun. Putting this one under a cut.

Francesca "Frankie" Falkenrath

The reasoning behind her name is because I created her as the unisex protagonist of a musical idea I had when I was 15/16. I was looking at a list of gender neutral names, saw and liked the name Frankie, looked through surnames starting with "f" bc I wanted the name to be alliterative, found the surname "Falkenrath" in a list of German last names, and picked it bc it essentially means "council of falcons" which is badass as hell. By the time I made her into a non-unisex character, I'd gotten so attached to the name that I ended up keeping it.

Damien Hall

(Fair warning, a lot of this trivia is gonna be name-based) I originally came up the name "Damien Hall" for the male lead of a musical I came up with after seeing Phantom of the Opera in Cleveland when I was 14. He was an angel that guarded over a massive cemetery and used this big church bell to calm restless spirits, and he ended up falling in love with a recently orphaned girl whose singing also calmed spirits. I ended up passing the name around a lot of stories before finally using it for my favorite veterinarian boy <3

Det. Shiloh Hawthorne

Y'know how I said I originally created Frankie for a musical idea I had? Shiloh also originated from that idea. Basically, the plot would've been about Frankie being murdered, acting as the narrator while her boyfriend (then named Elliot) tried to solve her murder, on top of having her own subplot about coming to terms with her death. Helping Frankie do that would've been Shiloh, then simply known as "The Reaper". He wasn't a detective back then, he was an agent of the Grim Reaper. Also, he had a crush on Frankie, but I nixed that bc ehhhhhh... I ended up working that "used to be a Reaper in a previous draft of the story" detail into his backstory, making him a Reaper-turned-detective.

Det. Chester "Chess" Murdoch

Probably the oldest character here in terms of when I created them! I've had this dude around since I was 10-11 years old! Back then, I wanted to be an animator, and I had an idea for a cartoon called "Chess and Alfie". It was about a human detective named Chess who solved cases alongside his talking tuxedo cat Alfie. Obviously, Alfie was eventually replaced with his twin sister Abby, though that happened way later. I don't remember what his last name was back then, so I just gave him the surname Murdoch bc it sounded cool.

Det. Abigail "Abby" Murdoch

Again, I created Abby looooong after Chess, ironic considering she's the older sibling in-story. I vaguely remember writing that Chess and Alfie-era Chess had an older sister, but that was such a long time ago that I could be misremembering.

Victoria Waterford

Not the most interesting fact, but those of y'all who were here when I first introduced these characters may remember that she was originally a baker instead of a hairdresser!

Robin Barrows

Was originally the protagonist of a different story idea I once had called "Trackside Town", about a girl trying to find her abducted parents in a mysterious, run-down city inhabited by monsters. Their last name was "O'Malley" back then, I ended up changing it to "Barrows" because I had the Clock Tower series of games on the brain at the time.

Xavier Lewis-Hall

He came about a bit later than some of the other characters. Like, pre-Mary Ann and Lucille, but still sometime after the original 8. I'd been requesting asks abt my then-recently-introduced-to-tumblr characters, and somebody (I believe it was @cutter-kirby ?) sent in an ask about which of my characters would tell/fall for the updog joke. I mentioned that Damien would tell it to "one of his kid cousins". Then I came up with the name "Xavier" for the oldest of said kid cousins for a post about how Frankie and Damien met, and I ended up liking him so much that I made him a fully-fledged character.

Jason Fitzpatrick

His name was originally "Freddie Fitzpatrick", and he was the husband of the main character of another musical idea I had (of which there were clearly a lot), simply entitled "Claire". Unlike the Jason we know now, Freddie was a sweetheart who loved his wife a whole lot. After reusing the "Fitzpatrick" name for this story, I changed his first name to "Jason" bc that was the name of one of my bullies in my last year of public school. Also bonus fact, I'm pretty sure that "Claire" musical is indirectly the reason I ended up dream-casting Lauren Lopez as Frankie, because I had also dream-casted the titular character of Claire as Lauren. Once I ditched the Claire idea, I ended up merging a lot of her character into Frankie, so uh,,, yeah,,,

Christina Baxter

...I honestly don't have much in the way of facts about her. Oops.

Skylar Fitzpatrick

His "seeing and talking to ghosts" thing was originally part of Robin's character. Skylar was created to flesh out Jason a bit more, and I gave him the seer traits instead bc I needed a way to justify his presence in the story. Though admittedly, his existence has had me struggling to figure out Robin's role in the story for ages now.

Hunter Luzzatto

Hunter's an odd case bc he technically has two different origins. His name came from the Trackside Town story that Robin was originally from, but the character concept (originally named Parker) came from an early draft of Frankie and Shiloh's origin (then called "Who Killed Frankie Falkenrath?"). I had an idea where the band of that show would also be characters in the show, and proto-Hunter was the guitarist of the band. He was a lot less antagonistic then, being more of an active ally to Frankie and proto-Shiloh.

Mary Ann Fleisher

So, you remember how I named Paul and Emma's landlord in DTfiles "Ernie Fleischer"? Believe it or not, Ernie was created a few months before Mary Ann. I just used a different spelling of his last name for Mary Ann bc hey why not?

Lucille Dagwood

Fun little trivia for you HoHF fans, her first name was originally "Harriet". I changed it bc I already had a ghost character with an H name, and I'd already long since established Hunter's character at that point. I decided I'd rather change the name of this new character than the one of an already established character.

[dillydedalus]

april reading

oh yeah this is a thing. anyway in april i read about uhhh.... first contact (twice), murderers on skis & victorian church politics

the yield, tara june winch a novel about indigenous australian identity and history (now and throughout the 20th century) in three narrative strands. imo the narrative strand that consists of a grandfather writing a dictionary of his language (wiradjuri) in order to prove a claim to some land is by far the strongest, but overall i liked this quite a lot. 3/5

land of big numbers, te-ping chen a solid short story collection focused on modern china and young(ish) chinese people, both in china and the diaspora. i particularly liked the stories that had some slighty surreal or speculative elements, such as one about fruit that strongly evoke emotions when eaten and a group of people stuck in a train station for months as the train is delayed, which imo use their speculative aspects in effective (if not super subtle) ways to talk about society. 3/5

the pear field, nana ekvtimishvili (tr. from georgian by elizabeth heighway) international booker prize longlist! a short, fairly depressing read about a 18-year-old girl at a post-soviet school for developmentally disabled childred (but also orphans, abandoned children & other random kids) who is trying to get a younger boy adopted by an american couple. there seem to be a lot of novels set at post-soviet orphanages etc & imo this is a well-executed example of the microgenre, with the pear field full of pears that are never picked bc they don’t taste right as a strong central image. 3/5

the warden, anthony trollope (chronicles of barsetshire #1) ah yes, a 6-part victorian series about church politics in an english town, exactly the kind of thing i’m interested in. not sure why i committed to at least the first two entries of the series but here we are. despite this lack of interest (and disagreement with most of the politics on display here) i found this quite charming; trollope has a gift for an amusing turn of phrase & making fun of his characters in benevolent ways. 3/5

the lesson, cadwell turnbull first contact scifi novel set on the virgin islands, where an alien ship arrives one day. the aliens seem benevolent & share helpful technology, but also react with extreme violence to any aggression. they claim to be on earth to study.... something, but it’s never entirely clear what. the book makes some interesting choices (like immediately skipping over the actual first contact to a few years in the future, when the aliens are already established on the islands) but i thought much of it was kinda disjointed and confusing. 2/5

the heart is a lonely hunter, carson mccullers look, i get it, it’s all about the isolation & alienation (& dare i say loneliness) of 4 miserable characters projecting their issues on the central character singer, who is kind and patient and also deaf and mute, thus making him the perfect receptacle for their issues without really having to connect with him as a person and how that isolation hinders them socially, artistically, emotionally, politically, but like... i didn’t really like it. i didn’t hate it but i just felt very meh about it all. 2.5/5

acht tage im mai: die letzte woche des dritten reiches, volker ulrich fascinating history book about the last week(ish) of the third reich, starting with the day of hitler’s suicide and ending with the total surrender (but with plenty of flashbacks and forwards), and looking at military&political leadership (german and allied) as well as prisoners of war, forced laborers, concentration camp prisoners, and everyone else. very interesting look at what kästner described as the “gap between the not-anymore and the not-yet.” 3.5/5

firekeeper’s daughter, angeline boulley) i’ve been mostly off the YA train for the last few years, but this was a really good example of contemporary YA with a focus on ~social issues. ANYWAY. this is YA crime novel about daunis, a mixed-race unenrolled ojibwe girl close to finishing high school who is struggling with family problems, university plans, and feeling caught between her white and her native familiy when her best friend is shot in front of her and she decides to become a CI for an fbi investigation into meth production in the community. i really appreciated how hard this went both with the broader social issues (racism, addiction) and daunis’ personal struggles. there are a few bits that felt a bit didactic & on the nose (and the romance... oh well), but overall the themes of community, family, and the value of living indigenous culture are really well done & i teared up several times. 4/5

the magic toyshop, angela carter i love carter’s short stories but struggle with (while still liking) her novels so far. this one, a tale of melanie, suddenly orphaned after trying on her mother’s wedding dress in the garden, coming of age and awakening to womanhood or whatever. carter’s really into that. it’s well-written, sensual as carter always is, and the family melanie and her siblings are sent to, her tyrannical puppet-maker uncle, his mute wife and the wife’s two brothers, both fascinating and offputting (& dirty) make for an interesting cast of characters, but overall i just wish i was reading the bloody chamber again. 3/5

barchester towers, anthony trollope (chronicles of barsetshire #2) (audio) lol tbh i still don’t know why i am committing to this series about, again, church politics in 19th century rural england, but it’s just so chill & warm & funny (we love gently or not so gently - but always politely - mocking our characters) that i’m enjoying it as a nice little trip where people do some #crazyschemes to gain church positions or fight over whether there should be songs in church or whatever it is people in the 19th century fought about. it’s very relaxing. there also is a lot of love quadrangleyness going on and that’s also fun. trollope has weird ideas about women but like whatever, i for one wish mrs proudie much joy of her position as defacto bishop of barchester, she really girlbossed her way to the top. 3.5/5

semiosis, sue burke (semiosis #1) i love spinning the wheel on the “first contact with X weird alien species” & i guess this time we landed on plants! plant intelligence is interesting and the idea of plant warfare is really cool. i do like the structure, with different generations of human settlers on the planet pax providing a long-term view but this allows the author to skip over a lot of the development of the relationship between the settlers and the plant and locating the plot elsewhere, which i think is ultimately a mistake. i might continue w/ the series tho, depending on library availability. 2.5/5

one by one, ruth ware a bunch of start-up people go on a corporate retreat to a ski chalet in the alps, avalanche warning goes up, one of them disappears, presumably on a black piste, the rest get snowed in & completely cut off when the avalanche hits and then they get picked off *title drop* (altho really not that many of them). nice fluff when i had a miserable cold (not covid) but fails when it tries to go for deeper themes... like an attempt to address classism and entitlement sure... was made. also like what kind of luxury skiing chalet does not have emergency communication devices in case internet/phone lines are down...  i’d have sued just for that. 2/5

fake accounts, lauren oyler the microgenre of ‘alienated intellectual(ish) probably anglophone person has some sort of crisis, goes to berlin about it’ is my ultimate literary weakness - i almost never really like them, they mostly irritate me & yet i can never resist their siren call. this one is p strong on the irritation, altho at least the narrator does not ascribe much meaning to her decision to go to berlin after she a) discovers her boyf is an online conspiracy theorist (probably not sincerely) and b) gets a call that said boyf has died, it’s really just something to do to avoid doing anything else. but other than that it’s so BerlinExpat by the numbers, like she lives in kreuzkölln! put her somewhere else at least! there is one scene that elevates the BerlinExpat-ness of it all (narrator asks expatfriend for advice on visa applications, expatfriend assures her that it’s really easy for americans to get visa, adds “especially now” while literally, as the narrator remarks, gesturing at the falafel she’s eating) other than that, the novel is.... fine. it’s smart, but not really as smart as it thinks it is, which is a problem bc it thinks it’s just sooo incisive. whatever. 2/5

the tenant of wildfell hall, anne bronte this is reductive but: jane eyre: i could fix him // wuthering heights: i could make him worse // wildfell hall: lmao i’m gonna leave his ass anyway i enjoyed the part that is actually narrated by the titular tenant of wildfell hall, helen (which thankfully, i think, is most of it) because the perspective of a woman who runs away from her abusive alcoholic of a husband is genuinely interesting and engaging, while gilbert, the frame story narrator who falls in love with helen, is.... the worst. i mean he’s not the worst bc the abusive husband arthur is there and hard to beat in terms of worseness, but he’s pretty fucking bad. imagine if helen had found out that gilbert attacked her secret brother over a misunderstanding, severely injured him & LEFT HIM TO DIE & then (when dude survived & the misunderstanding got cleared up) apologised like well i guess i didn’t treat you quite right! she’d have to run away from her second husband as well! poor girl. 3/5

[khaotungsfirst]

Even if you're not familiar with norse myths I'd say that the Gaiman book is still really enjoyable 😊It's not too heavy and a lot of the stories he chooses are the more well known ones. It's only about 300 pages, so it's not too long either. I think you can get a preview of a few pages through google, so that might be a good way to see if it's something you'd like or not. - CC 🦊

A lot of the Doctor Who books feel like they could be their own little episode, which is nice. It's been a few years since I read them but I remember enjoying The Stone Rose, The Stealers of Dreams, Invaders from Mars and The Glamour Chase. There's also a huge range of audiobooks where the actors have returned to their old roles. Recently this year it was announced that Christopher Eccleston was coming back to work on some Ninth Doctor audiobooks 😱- CC 🦊

Also, if you're interested in any of the older Doctors, I'd highly suggest looking into Eighth Doctor audiobooks! The actor sadly only got one really odd 90's movie and a short for the 50th to act the role on film, so the audiobooks really let the character shine and give him a chance. And some sci-fi I can recommend are Aurora Rising, There Will Come Soft Rains, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep. There's also Jurassic Park but is it sci-fi? Is it horror? Either way there's dinosaurs! - CC 🦊

Omg no but I totally get how you feel with horror! I'm really fussy with the genre myself since I often get bored or annoyed with it if it's not done right 🤣I usually read before bed so that's probably not a good decision on my part either! Were there any books you've read this year that you've enjoyed a lot? Any potential new favourites? ❤️- CC 🦊

I would absolutely love to buddy watch and/or read TGCF with you! That sounds like it would be awesome ❤️We could yell at each other as we follow it that way! And omg, Brooklyn 99 and Queer Eye are amazing! I love Jonathan Van Ness, he's always so happy and positive all the time. A lot of my favourite / comfort shows right now are The Dragon Prince, The Mandalorian, RuPaul's Drag Race, New Legends of Monkey and His Dark Materials. - CC 🦊

I'll stop spamming your inbox after this, but since I haven't asked you an MDZS related question for a little while I figured I'd ask you one today! I think I can guess who your favourite member of the cast might be, but what is it about it them that you admire? Always love an opportunity to see people's excitement over their favs! 😊- CC 🦊

I looked at the preview for Norse Mythology and it actually sounds so interesting!! But I fear that I will imagine the characters as they are in the Marvel Universe 😅 Aaahhh it’s always nice to get some more Ninth Doctor!! I should probably check out the audiobooks if the actors are reprising their roles for them but I gotta check where I can download English audiobooks. And can you believe I never watched the original Jurrassic Park movies? 😬 I should probably get around to that... 

Yeah, some horror books sound really intriguing but then I look at my massive TBR/wishlist and think to myself... well I rather spend my money on this other book that I’ve wanted for 3 months now so 🤷🏻‍♀️ Honestly, this year wasn’t as good of a reading year as I’d hoped it would be. But some books I enjoyed were The Loneliest Girl in the Universe by Lauren James (YA Sci-Fi), The Sinclair’s Mysteries Series (Middlegrade Historical Mystery), Eight Detectives (Adult Mystery) and Call Down The Hawk (YA Urban Fantasy). What about your reading year?

YES! omg let’s do it!! But let’s wait until you can reveal yourself so we can scream at each other in DMs 😅 JVN is a national treasure, I love him!! But tbh I love all of them! 💕 I just googled New Legend of Monkey bc I’ve never heard of it and the fact it’s a Aussie/NZ production based on a Japanese show which in turn is based on a Chinese novel.. love it! And it even is on german netflix!

Hahaha yeah I guess my love for Yibo is not a secret 😂  But I do love the other cast members as well!! (Fun fact: before I started watching cql I thought wwx was more attractive but I quickly learned my lesson and fell HARD for lwj and in turn yibo askdjgffdk) Yibo is just.... aaaaaahhhhhhhh I just love him so much, your honor!! He’s a classic case of do I want to marry you or be you?? Like his gender presentation??? HELLOOOO??? I want that!! And when he wears earrings and has slightly longer hair (and ideally wears makeup but that’s optional he looks fantastic without it as well) I! WANT! TO! DIEEEEEE!!! Then there’s the fact he’s a lil gremlin boy and he basically hates us askdjgksdfghkdf like I feel like he’s so done with the entertainment industry/the fanservice that’s expected of him and honestly, that’s valid and relatable. I also don’t want to do the things I’m supposed to do for work even though I chose this job 😂 Like that live where he was supposed to talk to his fans for an hour and he was just like uuugghhh how do ppl talk for an hour, this is exhausting askdjghkdf SAME!! And I feel like this makes him seem more grounded (though obv I don’t know him so who knows what he’s really like) He isn’t forcing a smile for the cameras because he is supposed to. If he doesn’t want to smile he won’t and I gotta respect that! Then there’s the fact that he’s so multitalented! Like is there anything he CAN’T do????? Act, dance, sing, motorcycle, skate, etc. the list goes on! And he’s such an amazing dancer, and I dance hiphop myself so I’m very !!!!!! about it all. I REALLY want to get dance lessons from him like he’d probably scream at me to do better and I’d thank him for it aksdhgdkfjg omg I gushed way too much about yibo ok I’m gonna go now. Who’s your fave, CC?