#probably already sounds like it I'M NOT
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Talking about Thomas Mann's paederasty with movie guy now. you know he's a keeper
#he also came to my august von platen presentation yesterday <3 he even brought a friend <33#godd I really hope we stay in contact I need him in my social circle so baddd. even if he is a LOT sometimes#he's so completely different from all my other friends I'm now regularly being confronted with opinions I'd NEVER hear anywhere else#(feel a bit dumb for still calling him movie guy idk#could give him some weird codename like platen did for schmidtlein. but that would just make it sound like I'm in love wouldn't it pfff#probably already sounds like it I'M NOT#⚓
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I want to talk about Celadriel compared to Haladriel/Saurondriel and the reasons why I want Celeborn to appear in the show, but I am terrified of the hate I might receive-
#I like Celadriel better than Haladriel#but I don't hate Haladriel either#but I know how people can get when you don't like the popular thing the best#I'll probably still post it because i've written most of my thoughts already#but if I do you all better behave lol#I'm sure there are some TROP fans who like Celeborn out there#Right?#Right guys?#*Crickets*#sound off if you like Celeborn and want to see him in TROP lol#the rings of power#galadriel#lotr#lord of the rings#rings of power#blue blathers#trop#rings of power positivity#celeborn#celadriel#galadriel x celeborn
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Digital Circus AMA Notes
Digital Circus is getting a season 1 at some point!!!!
#webcore aesthetic board for the series design
Pomni was going to be a frog originally. 🐸
90s toys Zooble inspo
Caine is an antagonist, but not by active choice, he doesn't know he's not helping. He doesn't feel a whole spectrum of human emotions (he's an AI).
"Caine canonically just lets things happen if he thinks it's funny."
Characters eat like Chao in Chao garden in Sonic. The characters can eat the food, but they can't digest it.
Jax's favorite food is spaghetti.
Pomni likes salmon.
Q "Was the ending a 'Last Supper' reference?" A "in a very superficial kinda way yeah." Religious stuff is sometimes just used for the funny.
Gooseworx tumblr sketches MAY or MAY NOT be canon to the series, so it's up in the air for every single one.
People can abstract from feeling too much pain if it breaks their mind from it being too much. Characters feel pain from things, but not as intensely as they would in real life.
Zooble is gonna swap parts every episode (implying they have spare parts) except their body & head.
Jax chose his own name & gooseworx likes to think he chose Gangle's name.
Ragatha was named "Emmy" originally.
They (the cast of characters trapped in the circus) can't change their clothes but Caine can. It's part of their skin sorta kinda.
There's empty space under Pomni's hat because video game model physics.
Spamton was partially inspo for Caine, Caine's VA did Spamton dubs.
Gangle only has 2 masks. Why's it (her hapiness mask) break all the time? Mental state, but the "real her" is "harder to break."
Kaumfo was gonna be part of the main cast originally before Jax.
Kaufmo's model has nothing below the waist at this time, but was made for that promotional image on twitter.
Q "What kinda person was Kaufmo?" A "He was the same as Ragatha in a sense, goofy & cheery, sometimes toxic levels of positivity."
I'm paraphrasing for the sake of note taking in real time, go watch the stream playback for more context & details if you want.
#these are all from GLITCHX 2023 on the glitch productions youtube channel btw#for anyone curious as to where I got the screenshots & details#theory crafters pop off with this#someone else can reblog this with time stamps if you want I'm pretty tired#I'm not going back through that stream right now; I'm sure someone else will put timestamps in the comments maybe#but yeah consider the amazing digital circus officially greenlit for a first season I guess! :D#tadc season 1 eventually baybeee!!#I'm hyped! I wonder if the pilot will remain canon into season 1 or if we'll get a new introduction into the series.#Wonder why Jax called Gangle... well Gangle 👀 maybe he just thought it sounded silly or something i'm curious as to what gooseworx thought#Caine's AI really thought Pomni running around looking for him & Kaufmo abstracted in his room was funny 😐 or his AI is glitchy#(we saw him glitching out already in the pilot) alternatively I think Bubble could be distracting Caine on purpose but idk just yet#imagine how much pain Ragatha was in since they can all actually feel that though like being body slammed & thrown against walls & stuff 😬#also excited to see some Gangle-centric content in the future based on that comment about the 'real her' 👀#Kaufmo would probably make jokes at really dark moments when it wasn't appropriate because that was a coping mechanism for him poor guy 😭#mine#op#the amazing digital circus#tadc
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Books of 2024: GHOST STATION by S. A. Barnes.
I've been intrigued by this one since the hardback release, but since I'm more of a paperback person I Waited™, intending to preorder said paperback.
Un/fortunately: In the course of my waiting, @asexualbookbird read it, and ey had Beef. Like. Enough Beef that I canceled my preorder and checked out a library copy instead. Library copies suck to photograph, my lighting setup for this was unhinged. So! We'll see how this goes!
#books#books of 2024#book photo#ghost station#sa barnes#asexualbookbird#my expectations are MANAGED my heavy sigh cannon is PRIMED i am READY!!!#i am bummed though i really wanted to vibe with this#and it really sounds like i will Not based in my insider intel#i'm still pressing my hand against the glass and gazing longingly at DEAD SILENCE too#but if this one is as rough as i'm braced for i'll probably just library that one as well :(#haunted house in space sounds too hard to fuck up#why would you fuck it up with gratuitous romance :(#anyway i'm fear but i'm HERE because i SUBJECTED YOU TO BWB DAMMIT EZ#doing my Best#also the last few pages are falling out of this book (???)#i'm already anxious about telling the librarians that lmao#'hi i swear it wasn't me but. pages are falling out.'#'of your new book'#'that i borrowed'
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Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.
#I've sort of made a new friend? Like we met at the same art group and he's also trans which was like pleasantly surprising in our small town#but like. We have Differences Of Opinion#and it's not totally his fault because it sounds like he's had a Lot of bad shit in his past that's obviously made him wary and closed off#but like. He's slightly older than me (only 4 years) and keeps blaming a load of his problems on other trans folks?#like you know the type. The like 'all these nonbinary/other identities the kids are doing are complicating shit'#the 'it hurts to see people younger than me inc. kids get hormones thrown at them when I still can't get 'em' (which... yeah not even true)#and he's told me himself he doesn't engage much with the queer community bc it's too 'toxic'#and like. I can absolutely understand why he could've had some bad experiences esp. since he has some mental health shit going on#but he wants to be friends bc he doesn't know anyone else going through the medical shit and it's like. Yeah no shit you don't?#you decided the community you'd find them in is toxic? and that people in them are doing being trans wrong?#and I think if he was just some guy online I'd like roll my eyes and ignore him#but he's a real person in my vicinity and I feel fucking bad for him#and I can see how much self loathing he has and how much that probably informs the bullshit#like he told me he thinks that trans men and cis men are fundamentally different categories and trans men will never be cis men#but not in a 'the experiences are just different and come with different perspectives way'#in like a self defeating way. Like a I just have to settle for being a trans man way.#and it made me SO SAD#like bro#I'm so sorry for whoever the fuck made you feel like you're fighting an unwinnable battle#and I want to be a friend to him. I want him to feel like there's other queer people out there and there's friends and hope#but also I genuinely could see him being the kind of person who would get really angry at you for no fault of your own#like I already get the distinct feeling he resents me a little#like obviously not too much since he still wants to hang#but he's been trying and failing to get HRT for years and I got it super quickly basically by sheer luck/a doctor who looks out for me#like I'm so fucking lucky. And I just genuinely feel like he's the kind of person who might take that personally.#I just do not think I have the fucking. Emotional tool kit to salvage this shit#But I also can't exactly text him and say sorry I don't think we should hang out so. What do.#.....I wasn't even LOOKING for a new friend! I have enough friends!!! I wanted to make clay faces and look at pretty buildings dammit!!!#now I have to be the emotionally mature one who goes hmmm maybe let's not blame other depressed trans kids for our problems buddy#I'm just gonna have to be like. Upfront about my stance and if he doesn't like it well he doesn't have to hang out with me
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ok so when I said I was attracted to men who vaguely resembled birds this wasn’t quite what I meant
#käärijä#i think it will grow on me#it already has a little tbh#it sounds more like his older stuff which i like#but uh#i'm probably not attempting any indoctrinations with this one
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✨"Meet the Artist" ✨
Name: Findus Age: 26 (29.03) Zodiac: Aries Nationality: Norwegian Orientation: Bi/Asexual Gender: Non-Binary (they/them) Education: Masters degree in Archaeology
#not hetalia#meet the artist#ifindus#I'm struggling with my hetalia art so take this instead!#it's been a while since I drew myself#also about time I got a new profile picture#actually very fascinating going through all my all pfp and seeing how my art has evolved over the years 😅#I try not to reveal too much personal information on here - but I think this info is fine 🤔#most of this is already known anyway#except maybe my age??#tbh I should probably have drawn a mitten and not a knitted sweater because I do collect mittens#but at the same time I have a huge collection of knitted sweaters as well so ig it still works ✨#sometime in the future I might draw a series of my fave character from each show I like/follow? 🤔 does that sound like a fun idea/project?#I think that'd be a very diverse bunch of shows and characters 😅
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#not tagging this properly so hopefully only my followers see this#i'm purposefully not adding super popular characters#i will say this though my jean idea is like so damn cute okay like#IT'S CUTE#I KNOW SHE'S NOT GOING TO WIN BUT IT'S A DAMN CUTE IDEA#I'VE SAT ON THIS IDEA FOR MORE THAN A YEAR#i have an idea for navia#but i dont have any ideas for the rest of the characters#after i finish this freminet fic i'll be out of longform wips so i need to build up my stash again#what can i say tho#uh...#ayato will probably be comedy#gaming will maybe be uh.......... hahahg-ratedomegaversehaha....#idk abt tighnari#albedo will probably be a fantasy!au or isekai or...... slice of life maybe?#chongyun will probably be angst#kaveh idk but i like bullying him#sethos idk either#furina will probably be angst or hurt/comfort#yae miko will be angst/drama probs#navia is romcom#jean is slice of life and pining#doesnt the jean one sound cute you guys should vote for it#no jk vote for whatever you like#i'm sorry there are no popular characters on here but like.....#i either dont know much about them (kinich). theyre overdone (alhaitham/wriothesley)#or i have no interest in them (wanderer/neuvillette/etc)#ooh come to think about it i should add the traveler#why no venti? i am already working on something for him#why not zhongli? bc i vowed to never write romance for him until i finish the bookkeeping!series
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vent in tags
#so i posted earlier saying i wish i could ask people what makes me so dislikable#and i was referring to a situation which happened to me in the past#and how i wish i could say to these people like what about me is so dislikable that you had to react the way you did#(i would like to clarify i was not in the wrong in this situation i have asked multiple people#and they agree i wasnt in the wrong so im not just saying it)#and an anon decides to send me an ask saying#ngl its the desperation for validation but i think youre cool#and it made me so upset because its such a fucking back handed compliment#because like i am aware of the fact im a people pleaser and i want to be liked by people#like i know its a huge flaw and i am trying to do better and not worry about what other people think about me#but its not something that is going to happen overnight#and so to point that out when im already aware of it and then follow it up with a backhanded compliment#is honestly really hurtful and just kinda really upset me#also saying that i'm desperate for validation like is just so#idk it just was so unnecessary for them to say that and phrase it that way#anyway im sure no one is gonna read this and if they do it probably makes no sense or it just sounds like#im being a whiny bitch and probably more anons are gonna come call me attention seeking or#say im looking for validation#but i just wanted to rant about it bc like there's ways to say things nicely to people and that was not one of them#esp when its a flaw im already aware of and would like to work on more#but again its not gonna disappear overnight!#butter’s thoughts
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Me trying to figure out why people are still mad at Gwen for going through Miles' sketchbook without asking but no one is talking about how he turned himself invisible and was spying on her, listening to her conversation with Jessica and following her to another dimension without her approval:
I have no problem with them both being like this but why are the stupid things she does demonized while the stupid things he does are being romanticized?
#And don't try to tell me that people don't like anything she does bc of what happened later in the movie#cuz when that first version of the scene with the sketchbook came out y'all were already ready to kill her#not everyone of course but most of y'all complained so much about it#of course this isn't a hate post i love them both and ship them even though the writers could've handled this better#spider man across the spider verse#across the spiderverse#spiderverse#Gwen stacy#spider gwen#ghost spider#miles morales#spider woman#the double standards are insane#why are people like this#gwen deserved better#this post probably makes me sound mad but I'm so calm i just need an explanation
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#one from slightly further away under the cut so you can actually see the rest of their beak. but i thought the closer one was funnier#starly#this is another one of those “default early route birds” to me. though i think this is one of my faves just because of the feather patterns#the design is pretty. if i saw a bird in real life that looked like this i would think it's pretty. and i've always liked the sounds it does#i dunno maybe it's nostalgia talking bc gen 4 was the game i played a lot as a kid despite gen 6 being my favorite gen#but i don't even remember what the early-route bird *is* for gen 6. off the top of my head. at this moment. i don't even know#i can try to list them all in order#kanto‚ pidgey; johto……… uuuuhhhh……………… fffuck i'm already having a rough time. gen 3 is taillow. i know that. gen 4 starly‚ gen 5 the uhhh#bitch that evolves into unfezant i don't remember their name. gen 6 who fucking knows‚ gen 7 who fucking knows#okay wow i just googled a list i didn't even think of half of these as early route birds. pidgey‚ spearow‚ wingull?? i dunno#taillow feels more like an early route bird to me. starly‚#PIDOVE that's their name‚ fletchling which i LOVE but i always just remember the fucking pidgey you always encounter first#pikipek whatever i didn't play gen 7 very much‚ rookidee i remembered evolves into corviknight and then i knew wattrel. bc i was like#wow it's an electric-type! i probably look like a total fake pokémon knower right now and well uh#i am. not. a fake pokémon knower. i'm a pokémaster i promise this just isn't a category of pokémon i think about very often
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quick mental health rant--
i'm pretty sure this has something to do with either caffeine or one of my many daily medications (also my parent has a major surgery coming up that they are terrified about and therefore i am also terrified about it), but i've felt like my chest is going to explode from vague, nebulous Life Stress for every day for like the past week and it's driving me absolutely deranged. i feel so bad!!!!!!! my life is intolerable to me for technically no reason!!!! i hate myself for not being a more accomplished writer because that's where my brain always goes when i'm feeling unhappy about anything!!!! aughhhh!!!!! i also wonder if it's a post-covid thing to ... go emotionally insane???? i did have covid at the end of last month! and now i'm emotionally insane!
#i know i should probably try to go to the doctor soon#but guess what doesn't sound good to me when i'm already feeling absolutely insane?!?!#i'm kinda wondering if my thyroid med + caffeine in the morning packs too much of a high energy anxiety punch or something#because i am spending every morning Really Going Through It#and then by evening i finally start feeling like a normal and functional person#bodies huh! minds! what fun we get to have!!#dollsome's deep thoughts
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i know barely anyone who follows me knows kh and i doubt anyone has played chain of memories but HOLYY SHIT. i am. so done with this game, it's driving me insane. I love the story to death but the FUCKING GAMEPLAY??? I genuinely have to wonder WHO APPROVED THIS??? Like, goddamn there is a REASON people hate it so much, and it's insane to me. Like. I've beaten some of the most difficult secret bosses in this series, chain of memories was the only game I didn't play yet (besides melody of memory but like.. that's a rythm game) and I'm just. I'm shocked. truly. I simply need to complain about it because it's just baffling that this is the final release and the combat system is so blatantly just unfair. For people who don't know the series and might still care for some reason: my most notable issue is the card reload system. you can only attack the enemy using cards, but every time you use a card you need to reload to use it again. Problem is sometimes your cards will become un-reloadable and that's just an unpreventable thing. Y'know what that means? YOU CAN GET SOFTLOCKED. SO EASILY. SO YOU CAN'T ATTACK, OR HEAL, OR DO ANYTHING. AT ALL. that alone is just AWFUL. You shouldn't be able to get softlocked like that, that's just insane to me. That and the fact the final boss has an attack that can kill you instantly, and if you die there you have to do the first phase all over again (and the first phase is not short, btw.) I am.. so tired. I don't wanna give up because I'm literally SO CLOSE.. but.. this is just objectively complete bullshit.. Worst part is they thought it was a good idea for the first phase to be a floating boss, meaning like, 80% of your attacks can't reach him, especially if you accidentally use a card combo meant for ground-combat. Augh.. I know probably nobody cares about this but. I needed to rant about it. This is painful.
#not gonna tag this bc that's. probably a good idea when i'm complaining.#it's so infuriating because like#this might be the first time i rage quit an entire game.#i've played nearly every other game in this series#i've beaten insane secret bosses with like 1% of people beat on the achievement#but this may be too much for me.#I can handle dying when it's from my own mistakes.#But it's infuriating to die from bullshit reasons like that.#for my fnaf followers.. i know security breach already has its own glitches but like.#imagine if during the monty fight he had a percent chance to just#instantly teleport to you and kill you and there's nothing you can do about it#or if the gun can randomly decide not to play the cutscene like 7/10 attempts#if those glitches exist I'm sorry to those who experienced them lmfao#but as someone who had a mostly glitch-free SB experience#that sounds like hell. that's basically the fnaf equivilent of this problem to my best comparison.
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Was anyone going to tell me that there was a Sister Boniface Christmas special last year, or was I just supposed to happen upon that information while trying to find out when S3 comes out?
#father brown#father brown cinematic universe#sister boniface mysteries#sister boniface#and sister peter my beloved is in it#to answer your question: no#S3 release date hasn't been announced yet#but like I am thinking father brown is still airing live rn and i imagine that it would probably take their slot#but like... how did i not know about the christmas special?#also the christmas special plot sounds so good i'm hyped to watch it#objectively; yes i probably would've preferred a fr brown one instead#but we already have two perfect ones and the sister boniface spinoff is so cute#they deserve this and i'm so happy for them
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~
#they speak!#it's probably just the illness that's making me extra irritable but like.#roommate kept coming up to me this morning going oh did i wake you up? i'm sorry if i did. did i do that or no? i'm really sorry.#and i kept telling him to stop saying sorry because i didn't have the brain power to phrase#'you could've been more considerate of your volume but you also have the right to use the common space so it's whatever'#but he said it to me again before i went to my room just now and it's like. ok. shut up.#if you actually cared that much u would've just been quieter in the first place actually.#anyways. annoyed. there were some annoying customers in the store today but it was whatever.#i feel like my fucks to give had already worn out with all the ppl in my social circle/my parents and the recent ongoings of that#[redacted] was being passive aggressive to me in the group chat and it's like. ok! idk what u want from me.#and i'm grateful for them for coming over and helping me with cleaning last week#and it's those sorts of actions that let me know they care and want good things for me#but like. i haaaate telling them anything because even innocuous non-private things get turned into judgement with them.#also. more and more i can feel how i'm drifting away from h and now with retrospect i can see how we mutually hurt each other :)#i keep coming back to this one period where i really wanted to take them to try dimsum and they kept saying they were too scared to try it#and in their new friend group they regularly go out n get dimsum together. which on the surface is like. why didn't you want to go with /me#i told you i wanted to share what i liked and i would explain what things were and i could do the talking and you still said no#but it's also very much a reflection of how i always rolled over and enabled them. i never challenged them. i was always passive.#i also feel like i'm heavily neglecting e and a recently and i can tell how the physical distance is affecting us and idk. it's weird.#anyways. another post that should've been a journal entry! lol!#when [redacted] helped with cleaning they also buried my journal under my like#300 packets of sesame candies and i can't be bothered to dig it out. also my bandaids are missing now. <3#ik this also sounds passive aggressive but genuinely appreciate the help i just kinda hate how they think hidin everything in boxes is good#'we need to get you some more storage boxes and containers!!' actually i think that will be the opposite of helpful.#i need everything visible and on open surfaces so i can 1) remember they exist for me to use and 2) not have barriers for me to get to them
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Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...
#Definitely not going to be able to stick with it just due to like... being realistic about my energy levels and etc. ESPECIALLY as we#enter the Evil Summer and it becomes hot all the time. But... one can attempt.. at least...#I'm also a very slow writer since I tend to re-read and edit while I write. and only move onto the next section once what I'm writing#seems okay. Which is easy for visual novel type stuff. since ''sections'' of a conversation are more clearly marked (like if you#have a menu option with 5 different dialogue choices. finish the character's response for choice 1 before moving onto 2. etc.)#Especially since when I'm done with a whole quest I always follow it up by playing through it and picking every option and making sure it#actually all works okay and etc. So I am already going to see it all a second time. Then I can go back and reorder a few words or remove#certain sentences that don't sound natural when I read them out loud (I always read it all outloud to myself since it is... just peple#talking.. it should sound like natural dialogue in their voice. etc). But my ''first draft'' is kind of not as first drafty since I pause t#edit a lot as I go along. So it also takes longer probably than it would take other people who I think treat a first draft as more#of a loose guideline or something. AANYWAY...#80F in my bedroom right now again... huzzah... I did end up finishing and recording that sims build video before the heat wave (or is#it really a heat wave if it's just summer..?? lol) came in.. but now... augh.. the editing... plus the costume photos and all else... Much#to do as always.. Often such a long todo list.. a giant scroll hung upon the walls of the evil hermit wizard tower..#Anyhow.. I hope I can finish getting ready for bed early in time to reward myself with a game of tripeaks solitaire whilst I snack on#cheddar cheese and some of those preserved artichokes in a jar. hrgm... I actually have nasturtiums (ultimate best flower) on the#deck again this year but I had to move them all into a corner today because the leaves were getting burnt by the sun lol.. Also am now more#cautiously weaving through social media to ignore all dragon age news. NOT bc of spoilers (I actually love spoilers/literally never play#any game until there's full guides on it I can read to plan my entire playthrough based on knowing exactly what I want to happen lol + mods#and etc.) but just because I'm so busy with my ownprojects I simply do not have the brainspace to dedicate... Yes I love to think#about elves and fictional universe lore. but no.. I pretend I do not see it. Does not exist to me actually. ghgj.. OHH also took som#cool pictures of flowers in the garden section of a store and I wanted to do like.. character designs based on the colors of the flowers o#something. but that might just be another unnecessary project to add to the pile.. I want to commit to the daunting task of dyeing my#hair again some time.. hrm.. this is all of the updates I can think of. As if a bunch of random tags make up for never posting anything for#weeks on end lol.. alas.. too warm to think properly I suppose.. .. I neeeeeed a long lost relative to leave me some million dollar#estate in their will so I can have the resources to move to a colder climate or something ..augh#.. but for now.. I shall toil away in my little wizard tower trying to write 2000 something words a day whilst sweating and such ghbj
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