#probably a sign of mental illness

[cloudyswritings]

Do you think crabs dream? I’ve come to the conclusion that they do. Their dreams are a window to the future as seen through crystal and roiling waves, and they fortell one form that eclipses all others. The future is not the domain of man, or those whose forms we’ve twisted to our own ends. No, instead of the soft peal of chorale music, the energetic yips and yaps of dogs, or the soft churning rumble of cats, the future belongs to the sharp staccato of crab claws. You see, crabs dream, and they dream of domination.

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

like i see people say stuff like “rei is a deconstruction of the idea of like the perfect girl in a male gaze-y way” and and i'm ready to agree until they go “it’s because she’s creepy and weird and bad!” like no. rei's a deconstruction of misogynistic ideas of womanhood because they’re ideals forced upon her that damage her, not because she’s in any way “creepy”. like, the fact she’s a fourteen year old girl who was basically used as a substitute wife by her father bc she looked like his own dead wife is not something that is meant to make rei look bad like holy shit.

like both rei and asuka are very obviously like. showing fantasised and misogynistic ideas of an idealised woman don’t work irl yeah. shinji's misogynistic view of them is wrong. but that’s not because rei and asuka are bad people it’s because like. “fourteen year old who's flirty and seductive” and “fourteen year old who's a quiet obedient object” are major signs of abuse and trauma and anyone actually acting in those ways at that age clearly isn’t normal. asuka is desperate for attention in any way she can get it, even unhealthy and dangerous ways. rei is at the very least I has a weird pseudo-incestous enmeshment filled abusive relationship with her father, even if she's not actively being sexually abused. asuka is seeking support, rei is a grooming victim. these are not things that are flaws in their character the entire point of subverting the expectations is to show how those expectations are unhealthy to rei and asuka like. god.

[mothermarysblackwidow]

not sure whats special today but my cuts burn again (finally) they hurt again and they bleed again woah mama, am i gaining a will to live from this /j

[peachdoxie]

I'm always hesitant to take the last item on the shelf at the grocery store because my brain is like "what if there's someone out there whose safe food is this item and they get an anxiety attack at the grocery store like I do whenever I go shopping and find they're out of my safe food?"

[chronic-monachopsis]

<3

[sh4tt3rg1rl]

Do you guys ever get that thing where. When you have a character you rp you get SO INTO their role that you get this little butterfly hurty feeling in your chest when they get hurt. Like its not attachment its genuine like. Empathy??? But... it's not. Cause they arent real. But you feel it.

I have "internal" versions of all of my characters

Sun is crying sm and now my eyes are watery

Help

[tokagrem]

I desperately need a new hyperfixation this content drought has me so sad

[swallowtail-ageha]

Based on that reddit comment that states that malenia's speech becomes vry childish upon defeat like elementary/middle schooler aged speech (link to the post/comments here https://www.reddit.com/r/Eldenring/s/nhzLYX9Btt ) i do wonder if the massive trauma cocktail of parental neglect + rotting alive + having your limbs cut off at a very young age did somewhat affect her emotional maturity

[rozodka]

just watched eileen after obsessing about when it's coming out for a whole year. what the fuck am i supposed to be obsessed with now? what do you mean i won't be checking the release info on imdb everyday anymore? the movie was incredible and i'm glad i watched it but at what cost...

[red-shapes-all-over-the-grass]

gods im so fucking sick of being bored and lonely. being stuck in my apartment all day. i want to go do stupid shit with friends. feel like i'm part of a community. trouble is i'm a god damn alien among most people. how do you even form a connection with someone who might as well be from a different planet??

[fallow-grove]

i finally posted a draft of the song ive been working on to patreon. btw

[clowngore]

the idea that narcissists can't be self aware is laughable. you think I don't know ME? ME? the most important person in the whole world? you think i don't think about myself all of the time?

[void-tiger]

There is just this rage that comes with realizing your body is just completely fucked while still outwardly looking Fine.

And then garnering the judgement of family who have convinced themselves you’re not trying hard enough.

And still waiting for a finished diagnosis to try petitioning for life-long physical therapy, pain management (that are NOT opioids when you can’t take nsaids, and you’re deemed too young for steroid injections especially as it is never brought up as an option), and ssi disability. Because what else are you gonna do. Especially when you’ll always be a burden. Capitalistic life isn’t designed to allow you to rest so you can still do Something within your limitations and not get injured, anyway. Or have energy left for yourself.

(No one is really clever enough to help, either. Is it even worth the risk to try contacting rehabilitation services when you need to stay on medicaid for a eventually-debilitating auto immune disease that has to have very expensive injections twice a month, all the while it’s the hypermobility that makes even being a student or hobbies or chores so iffy?)

And then trying to befriend some people. But there’s this wall there. They radiate concern. Sometimes affection. But I don’t want pity. (I don’t know how to accept actual sympathy to my face by their vibes and tone and body language, anyway.) I just want secure friendships. I just want—for once in my adult life, or my life period if including neurodivergence’s and the resulting cptsd from not even remotely accepting environments—to not be my Problems. Someone else’s Problem.

I just want to be human. I want to have fun and feel capable and not blunderingly or intentionally reminded that I’m not.

(Am I even worth being someone not pitied? Not judged? Will I ever be fun?)

[cowboyhorsegirl]

have a supernatural blorbo or kinny yet? any random characters you’ve been intrigued by that aren’t really explained or seen much in the yt destiel clips?

would LOVE to know more abt anna and charlie

[halinski]

.

[bbymoonarts]

omg tumblr's 601 badge.... im literally in love...........