#princess diary’s has shaped most of my personality at this point

[lordofthevegetablepatch]

Joseph and Clarisse is Disney’s best love story no I will not be taking criticism on this matter

[misguidedasgardian]

My love, his duty // Chapter 4

MASTERLIST

Chapter Summary: The day of the wedding is upon you, and you wonder, wonder about a lot of things

Pairing: King!Bucky Barnes x Princess!Reader (very ambiguously described)

Chapter Warnings: Alcohol consuption, alcohol induced talk, talk about sex, talk about loss of virginity, marriage/religious ceremony

+18 please. (but just for explicit sex scenes)

Word Count (Chapter): 4,2k

Notes: This is a lengthy one, I just wanted to give it to you full, I couldn't find a good point in which I could cut it in half or something, I had to cut the consummation scene since it was lacking some things

The one that finds the Princess diary´s quote receives a virtual hug!

The princess realizes she has two powerful allies

“Did the princess reach the palace safely?” It was already dark when the King had finished the review of the plans for the ceremonies to come, the two most important ceremonies.

His marriage, and the coronation of his Queen

“She did” Steve sat in the other chair in front of his King and friend, in front of the fireplace

“How was she?”

“Upset” Bucky took his gaze away from the flames to look at his friend

“Why?”

“She wanted to talk to you, she was looking for you that night”

“I know that” he frowned

“She saw you” Steve said, “with Sharon”

“I don't believe that”

“Then why did she expel Sharon from the trip? Why did she looked so upset?”” Bucky draw a sharp breath, rubbing his temple with his index and middle fingers

“Well, shit”

“Do you plan on keeping Sharon as your mistress even if you are married to her?”

“I don´t know” he said sincerely “It's been ten years since I´ve been with Sharon, what am I supposed to do? Tell her to fuck off?”

“Why? Do you love her?”

“I don´t”

“Does she mean something to you? Do you consult her? seek comfort in her?”

“I don´t” he repeated quickly

“Then why?” demanded “It was cruel of you to appoint her as one of her ladies”

“Well, she is from a noble house, and she can't just go around calling herself the mistress of the King” he stopped, and he took a long breath, “She… is like a relief” he stopped himself to ponder more upon the matter, “What if love doesn´t come to me and (Y/N) what if I only lay with her to make heirs?”

“Will you at least give it a try?”

“Why do you care so much?”

“Because I think she is good, and kind, and deserving of your respect” he said bluntly

“And what do I do with Sharon?”

“Do something God dammit!” Steve growled, “You are the King!”

“What do you want me to do Steve?” he growled back

“Marry away Sharon” he said, “And give yourself to the princess, if you do, she will give you the entire world”

Your stay in the Queen's tower was going by rather quickly, you had have medical exams to prove your maidenhood, and you had received the visit from the King's personal confessor, and also, her personal chamberlain, for some teachings about household, and what it would consist of now that you'll become Queen. And before you knew it, you were putting the golden and white gown you'll use tomorrow in your wedding day for the last fitting

“You look beautiful” said Wanda, and the ladies agreed

“The King will swoon when he sees you” said Lady Jane

As you looked yourself in the mirror, you were interrupted by a knock on the door, your guard entered and behind him, entered the young page

“Your highness” called Peter, “His majesty send you this” he presented you with a huge jeweled box, a splendid thing in itself, but when he opened it, all air inside seemed to abandon you

Inside there was a diamond tiara, it´s shape resemblance waves of the sea, you found also a matching necklace and pendants, resting in blue velvet at the bottom of the box

“It would please him so you used this tomorrow” he said, excited, “As this are the jewels that her mother used in her wedding” your eyes filled with tears of happiness

“I shall wear them with my full heart, and all my honour” you said, your voice strangled by emotions, “Would you tell him that?”

“Of course My Queen!” As soon as he said it, he blushed scandalously, “Oh, I mean… I´m sorry, y-your highness!” he babled, you just giggled

“Thank you Peter, you are the kindest” he left shortly after, and you were left to enjoy the rest of the day

But at night you gathered with your ladies by a big fireplace. Before he left, Wanda had compelled Peter into stealing a small barrel of wine, so the five of you were under the influence of the dark liquor, and enjoying stories and giggling

“Does it hurt?” you whispered to Lady Sarah, since she was the only one who had been married, and indeed had two children, “On your wedding night?” they all paid attention to her, who giggled loudly

“Well, it might… it depends”

“On what?” asked lady Jane, you were all leaning towards Sarah´s chair, and she felt intimidated

“I'm not sure we should be talking about this…”

“Please Lady Sarah, we are only ladies here, who wish to know” you pleaded, pounting

“I´ll tell you” said Natasha, you all took your attention to her, “Since Lady Sarah may swoon”

“You have done it yourself?” asked Jane, she smiled and nodded

“Indeed, now, you all take a sip of wine!” she asked, and you all did, giggling without stopping. “It depends, if he would touch you first, to entice you, or if he would be soft, and slow for the first time, and also….” she took another sip of wine to gain courage, “On how big he is” you felt your cheeks heated as you drowned your giggle in your cup

“You mean… his manhood?” asked Lady Jane, as she was blushed by wine and shame

“Yes of course” she said, “I cannot lie, the first time will hurt” she said, “But it would last very little, and after…” she giggled again and took a sip of wine

“What happens after?” Wanda asked with her branded mischievous smile

“After he will carry you to heaven” she said looking away, “for it's the greatest pleasure on earth”

“Oh my”

“I wish my mother could see me” you said as the palm of your hands roamed and pleaded the skirt of your dress, you looked at yourself, ready for your wedding, the chariot that would take you to the cathedral could be here any moment, The Late Queen tiara rested over your head.

“I'm sure she is most pleased, and proud, of calling you her daughter” said a voice behind you, you turned quickly to see you brother, smiling at you from the door

“Clark!” you yelled, running to his embrace “my brother, I missed you!”

“I miss you as well my sister” he was two years younger, holding only 18 years, but he stood tall and thick, he took after your father, as you did after your mother. You didn't have the same mother. “You look so beautiful, like a Queen”

“Thank you” you whispered, “Father couldn't make it?” he shook his head

“I´m sorry”

“It's ok, It won´t matter anyways”

“I'll deliver you to your husband today” he said softly

“Thank you brother” you looked down, your stomach twisting at the thought of your wedding, remembering suddenly the scene you witnessed before your departure from the Royal Castle

“You look like I´ll take to the scaffold instead of your wedding ceremony” your body shook entirely

“Well…” you started

“I know you don't know this man, but…”

“I know I´ve been preparing myself all my life for this, but” a strangled sobb came out of your throat, and he struck you in his arms in a tight hug, “I cannot quiet the complaints of my heart” you mumbled

“Have you met him?” he finally released you, and you nodded

“I did, him and his mistress”

“Sweet sister” he mumbled, you wanted to cry but you were fighting not to, “It is..”

“If you are going to say it is normal for kings to have mistresses I'm going to punch you in the neck” he chuckled and you smiled shyly

“Yes you got me”

“He appointed her as one of my ladies in waiting” you said as you looked at him, “Isn't that a little… doesn´t that make him…” you didn't know how to phrase it, “Kind of an asshole?” he laughed loudly

“And they said he was a smart man” he said

“I don't want to be humiliated like that” you said, “I want him to give me at least a chance, but I feel as, I´m walking into a game that I'm already losing”

“I don´t believe for a second he would parade her in front of the court and you” he said

“He did before my arrival” you said, “Everybody at court knows who she is”

“Do you want me to speak to him?” he asked, “Not to say anything concrete, but to warn him about the importance of your dignity, and grace”

“You want to rough up the King of Brook?” you said as he thought he was joking, but when you saw his serious face, you smiled, “You have my permission”

“Very well” he kissed your forehead tenderly and you smiled softly, you had missed him dearly

“I swear brother if you marry, and commit the idiotic decision to take a mistresss, I would go back home, sneak in the night to your chabers and cut off your manhood

“There she is, my sweet sister”

Clark and you took a most incredible chariot that took you from the Queen's tower, to the cathedral, the ride was shorter than you remembered, maybe because of the nervousness that crippled your body. Your ladies had gone before you, leaving you alone with your brother, which you thanked, because you knew your brother was your true friend, loyal only to you.

You reached the cathedral and there was a huge crowd waiting for you, al chating your name

“Long live the princess!” some yelled. You tried to wave to them all, but your hand was so shaky. Your brother grabbed you and took you inside, where all the shouting was reduced by the thick wooden doors.

“They are all inside” the ambassador Oliver Queen bowed to you, as he was waiting for the both of you

“Are we late?” asked Clark

“My lord, I´ve been told a Queen is never late, is everyone else that seems to arrive early” he said chuckling

“Your words soothe me” you said smiling weakly, you felt like you were going to faint at any given moment

“Very Well” Oliver said, looking at you and at your brother, “Are we ready to do this?”

“No” you whispered, as Clark took your hand on his and gave it a squeeze

“Let´s get you married to the King” he whispered

“What if he doesn't love me?” you asked both men, they looked at each other nervously

“He will” consoled your brother

“You are both powerful men, that marry for alliances” you said, looking at both, “Tell me the truth”

“Your highness If I may” said the ambassador, you looked at him wide eyed, “He would be short sighted, and cold hearted, if he didn't find it in his heart to love such a wonderful and beautiful bride such as yourself” you feel your cheeks heated as you let him kiss your hand softly, “And he better love you, or I will steal you from him” you giggled as he winked at you

“I might take you up on that” you whispered

“Shush the both of you” said Clark with closed mouth, “Never said that again or you will lose your head”

“She is still our Princess, it was now or never” he said with a wide smile.

“Yes but from this day forward, she is no longer our princess, but she will belong to him, and to the Kingdom of Brook” it finally sinked into you. It's been years since you thought about that, where you come from, and what it meant

“You highness” you jumped when you heard Steve´s voice behind you. The three of you turned to face him, as he was coming out of the Royal chapel by one of the lateral doors

“Your grace!” you saluted as you bowed your head

“I don't believe that in this entire kingdom has been a bride more beautiful than you” You felt the heavy gaze of the three men on you, and you trembled

“You are most kind your Grace” you said with heated cheeks, “I believe you haven't met my brother yet” you pointed out

“Your Highness” Steve bowed again, as your brother leaned his chin

“Your Grace” Clark responded

“And our ambassador, His Excellency, Oliver Queen”

“We have met before” said Steve, and the man beside you nodded, “His majesty send me” he said, “He wants to make sure you are prepared”

“He wanted you to make sure I didn't run?” they didn´t laughed but rather stared at you, “I am very sorry, my nervousness is talking for me” Steve smiled kindly at you

“You have nothing to be nervous about,” he said, “Now, I will go back and announce the musicians to start playing…” You nodded, “Good luck your Highness”

“That might be the last time somebody calls you that” your bother remarked

“You are right!” you murmured. Steve left you with a smile on his face

“It's my turn to go to my post” said Oliver, he took your hand in between his, “Best of lucks my Sweet Princess” you smiled and nodded, as he left you as well

The musicians started to play, and you felt your belly tightened in several knots

“Brother if I go through with this, this cannot be undone” you murmured, Clark looked at you in panic

“Sister please, our country needs this alliance”

“I know” the gates opened up before, revealing the interior of the Cathedral, the tall painted ceilings, the hallway all decorated by white flowers, and all the people gathered there, they all had his eyes on you, in the End, in front of the golden Altar, stood the King, your future, dresses as you were, in golden colours.

You didn't question, never, you never asked “why? Why do I have to do this?” they had taught you so, even if it was your birthright, you weren't trained as a Queen, only a Queen consort, so you did as you were told, and that was it.

So the worst possible time to start questioning, was when you were in front of your future husband, as he took your hands in his to start the wedding ceremony. Did you really have to? It was too late now, but, were you going to be a good wife? Would you please him? Would you be able to give him children? Would he divorce you if you couldn´t? Would he ask for an annulment? Would he commit adultery? Would he ever love you? It scared you to think he might not, to be trapped in a loveless marriage, but that what was expected

But that didn't work for you. When you look into his eyes your stomach flutters, like it was filled with little butterflies. He was so handsome, those blue eyes, that hair, the manly features of his face, his big body that made you desire to be between his arms all day and all night. He smiled when he saw your face, and you feel your cheeks heated when you realise the way you were looking at him, with adoration and wonder. You felt your heart pumping in your chest so hard, you were certain he could hear it too

“Repeat after me” the bishop whispered to you, and you did, as strongly as you could

“I, (Y/N) take you, James, for my lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, and for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us apart. I will love and honor you all the days of my life” you concluded, and you gave thanks to the lord your voice haden´t crack

“I, James” his voice sounded like a thunder, “Take you (Y/N), for my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, and for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us apart. I will love and honor you all the days of my life”

He leaned in to kiss your cheek

“My Wife” he whispered in your ear, giving you goosebumps all over your spine. You both turned around to face the crowd, and everyone started cheering.

The King may love you, or he may not, but as from this very moment there was only one thing clear, you were a Queen, this was now your people, this was now your country, and you were going to fulfill your birth given duty, and put all your heart on it.

You longed for a moment alone with your husband, but fate kept you from it. As he grabbed your hand to exit the cathedral, you finally thought it was your time, but alas, it wasn´t. The open chariot you requested was waiting for you both, alongside the screaming crowd

He wanted to eat your face with kisses, he wanted to erase your shyness with his bare hands roaming your body. He hoped you'd never notice the hunger in his eyes, for he feared you´d be even more intimidated by him

Since the first time he saw you walking towards him shyly and nervous, like a little deer, he wanted to devour you. He knew he didn't need to be nervous anymore, not with you, not about you. When he saw you he felt relieved

You were barely a woman, and he wanted to eliminate that remaining innocence himself

He couldn't wait much longer to make you his

And now by the Power of God and himself, as King, you were finally and irrevocably his

Till death do you apart

You wouldn't lose his sight, as he watched you intently as you went from side to side of the great hall, greeting everyone, you were adorable, good with people, as everyone you meet in your path was left smiling and nodding their acceptance at you.

He was right, the tiara of his mother looked great on your divine head

His gaze left your form to search for another, Lady Sharon was nowhere to be seen, neither was she the days before the wedding, actually, he haden´t seen her since the night of Tony´s wedding, two weeks ago.

His eyes stopped on another curious figure he haden´t seen before, a tall muscular man, sipping his goblet of wine, looking around. He was your brother, the successor to your father to take the throne. When he catched the King looking, he felt free to walk towards him

“You majesty” said when he had him in front of him

“Your highness” he responded

“I´m so very sorry we couldn´t meet before the wedding” he started, “but it was so sudden”

“Well, yes, why wait?”

“Well she had been waiting for 5 years” he growled, whispering against his goblet

“Yes indeed” he growled, growing impatient, your brother had unclear intentions, and the King wanted him to express them

“I´m so sorry I have to left the court soon” he continued, “Now that I´ve seen my sister to this new court, I´m weary of leaving her here, alone”

“She is not alone” oh he was starting to hate his political family, “She is with me, her husband”

“Yes and also, I´m leaving her in the care of someone else, that has expressed his love for her”

“Whom do you speak off?” now he had the King's attention

“Well, his excellency, our ambassador” he said like it was obvious

“Oh, and he loves her?” When had he started grinding his teeth?

“He does, as his princess and sovereign”

“But she is not his princess and sovereign now, isn't she?” he asked, defiance in his voice, “She is our Queen now”

“Shouldn't all your subjects and members of court love her?” Clark demanded. Bucky looked at him like he wanted to kill him

“Yes, of course, but only I can truly love her”

“Well as his brother, you must understand my concerns” he said, “She is a loving and beautiful princess, and I, as his brother and next King, I must see that she is treated and met with the dignity and respect she deserves” that's when they turned to see each other

“Are you implying, Sir, that I disrespect her? that I won't maintain her dignity?”

“I´m just making sure you know she is not alone” he growled. Bucky and him stared at each other, the ambience was tense, if they weren't in the middle of the feast they would have drawn up their swords

“I will treat her with the respect and dignity she deserves, as a crown princess of a neighboring Kingdom, and as my wife” he said, grumply

“I'm glad to hear it,” he said, smiling softly. “And I hope, now that I´m here, that I can have an audience with his majesty, tomorrow”

“Let's save it for two days from now” he said, Bucky smiled wickedly, “You must understand that tonight is the wedding night, and I would not like to cut it short, as I plan on expand it all day tomorrow” Clark saw red and if this man wasn't a King, he would have punch him in the face, “Enjoy the rest of the feast” Bucky didn't move, but he expected Clark to do so, as he nodded, and walked away

Bucky then seated again in his throne, his gaze travelling all around the ballroom looking for you, until he finally found you again, but he didn't like what he saw

“Are you enjoying your feast?” Steve asked, seating beside him on the big table

“Yeah, sure” he said dismissively

“Doesn´t your wife look beautiful?” he asked, smiling widely

“Steve I'm starting to think you motivated me to marry her so I´d invite her to court so she´d be close to you” Steve looked back at his King surprised at his implication

“I pushed the subject so much because I had your best interests at heart” he said firmly, and seriously. Steve had never seen his friend jealous, but when he followed his gaze, he understood why, “You have nothing to worry about from me” he insisted

“Yes I know, you are too loyal, and she is too innocent” he growled, his eyes anchored on you “Why is she dancing and talking with the ambassador?” he asked, his teeth shut tight

“That's the thing” Steve whispered in his ear with a mocking smile, “If you don´t dance, she´ll dance with somebody else” Bucky let out a growl, “She is the most devastatingly beautiful woman at court”

“She haden´t met him until the first time she was here, and now she seems rather comfortable with him” Steve found it entertaining how he was getting riled up

“I do believe I heard him say that If you made her unhappy, he was going to steal her from you”

“WHAT?” Bucky stood up so fast Steve found it amusing. And he didn't wait much longer until he directed himself upon you

When your giggles and hushed tones reached his ears he almost saw red

“And remember what I said your majesty, we could always go...”

He trapped your hips with his big hand, startling you

“Where?” he said, smiling fakely as he brought you to him. You were caught by surprise, but smiled softly when you felt the warmth of his body pressed against yours

“Your majesty, it was a wonderful wedding” he said bowing to your husband

“Where do you wish to take my wife?” he asked again

“Well…” you saw his nervousness and feared for it

“His Excellency has seen so much of the world” you said quickly, “Just now he was speaking to me about a green island, with trees tall as castles, and colorful animals like the rainbow” it wasn't a lie though, “He wished we could go with him” that seemed to please him, “Both of us”

“I heard you won't take the following weeks of your marriage to take the traditional wedding tour by your country” he said with a grin

“Well as you may know my wife just got to court and will have her settled here before I can take her to see the rest of my Kingdom” you felt as he was not telling you the truth, but you didn't dare to say so

“Of course I understand, and that was a wise decision” he said, bowing again, sensing he was on thin ice with the King, you didn't understand why though

He wanted to wait. You were so sweet and shy, not at all as you seemed in your painting, so he wanted to play dumb tonight, wait until it was late at night, so you could send everyone to bed, no bedding ceremony, not a public event of it. He knew that could make trouble on his marriage and its validity, but that didn't matter to him. He would consummate the marriage with you later, when you had known eachother better, and you were ready.

But then

Your brother came to him, implying you could leave, or that you “weren't alone” whatever that meant, Steve came after, saying again how much beautiful you were, implying you could also have someone else, and then this idiot ass, the ambassador, if it wasn't a representative of his country, your country, he would have made him disappear.

It was too much

He was the King

You were his wife

And he was going to have you, and prove to all of them, that you were his.

He tightened his grip on your hips and you shook in his hands

“Are you ready for the consummation?” he asked, loud enough so the people near you could hear it, and that was enough for the whole party to go silent.

Taglist! <3 @ boofy1998 , @ scxrletrecsmarvel @ itsthemaree @connie326 @enchantedbarnes @scxrletrecsmarvel @itsthemaree @broco8 @babyjay9898-blog @luckyladycreator2 @capmanranger @gloryekaterina @the-lady-vanora @j2brosforlife-spn @rancidgracey @httyd-marauders

[alkaysani-archived]

The Old Guard Fanfic Master List

*updated* 15 Oct 2020

MAIN SERIES

AS OUR LOVE SHAPES OUR UNIVERSE  (Nicky x Joe - Princess Diaries AU)

to love is to sacrifice, to sacrifice is to love 

“Prince Yusuf Al-Kaysani,” Charlotte says, and she’s sighing dreamily again and Yusuf definitely has that effect on people. “That young man gets my vote,” Joseph says from behind him. “He goes by Joe sometimes, so he’s definitely of good stock,” he says, and Nicky snorts. “A brilliant one, amazing artist, charismatic. He’s dedicated himself as the right-hand and advisor to his queen mother, and has fully supported his younger sister taking the throne instead of him. He’s friends with Nicolo,” he says, and Nicky blinks, shrugging a little, and his heart starts to go wild in his chest in a way he doesn’t want to understand. “We spent two years of secondary together,” he whispers, glancing at Mia. “Uh…just before they passed, he had to move back home, and I…” he trails off, sighing. --- or the Princess Diaries II AU where Prince Nicolo will do anything for Genovia. And if that means introducing his cousin Princess Mia to Prince Yusuf Al-Kaysani to be her future king, then his heart just has to deal with it. He just wished that it didn’t hurt so much.

i will hold your heart together in mine 

“You love me now, right?” “Forever more, my darling,” Joe chokes out, and it takes on a whole new meaning that makes his own ache. “Then my heart will heal,” Nicolo says, and his voice is firm, and fierce, under the exhaustion. “The symptoms will fade, in time. They will,” he adds, his voice muffled against his shoulder. He pulls away and looks up at Joe with wide, glassy eyes. “The universe won’t be so cruel to me to take me away now, when I am finally happy, right?” he says, and Joe burst into tears then, shaking his head, grabbing Nicolo’s face and kissing him, deeply. No. No. He won’t think of it. He won’t think of losing Nicolo. Not again. Not like this. *** or where Prince Yusuf learns the physical extents of Nicolo’s heartbreak, months after they were meant to be fine. But regardless of how much it ails him, his beloved Nicolo continues to have faith that he will be alright. So he must brave through his fears and his worries, as they grow, and build a life and a family, together. Even if it breaks their hearts again. And again. And again.

black cats and lopsided hearts (Joe x Nicky) - 30 Oct 2020

“Permission to keep killing your fiancé with cuteness due to Halloween costumes, please?” Mia asks, and she’s giving Nicolo those eyes again, and this time, Nicolo bites his lip, glancing at Joe. “It might be fun, beloved. It’ll only be for a night,” he reasons, and Nicolo sighs then, nodding his head. “For you, heart.” *** or The Old Guard Princess Diaries AU – Halloween Special where Mia convinces Nicolo and Yusuf to let her dress up one and a half-year old twins Elio and Ayla for this very American holiday.

ONE-SHOTS & STAND-ALONES

JOE x NICKY

not that i need reminding 

“You look in love.” Joe blinks, looking up at the voice. There’s a woman, a little younger than Nile, or maybe just her age, sitting beside him on the bench now. She’s smiling at him, and he gives her what he hopes is an equal one, before nodding softly, gently tapping his pencil on his sketchbook. He knows the answer, of course he does. Yes. He is in love. Truly, madly, deeply, or however they say it. He knows all of this already. But he’s willing to play. “And how does that look?” --- or joe gets a vibe check from the universe.

to know those among us 

“Mommy, angel! Angel, mommy!” Nicky blinks, putting down the produce he had in his hand. He zeros in on the voice and a little boy staring up at him, jaw dropped and staring, his eyes wide and curious. Then he looks up to find a woman, blushing red, looking absolutely mortified. Even with her darker tone, the flush is clear, making her glow. She looks ready to run, so Nicky just gives her a smile, and then crouches in front of the child, before looking around, humming curiously. “Where, little one?” he asks, putting his hands over his eyes as he continues his search. “Where is the angel?” he asks, and the little boy giggles. It’s a beautiful sound amongst the low bustle of the early farmer’s market. --- or nicky gets mistaken for an angel by a child, so he tells them about real ones

in parts, i fall, i love

Joe needs to finish this portfolio if he wants something to propose to the showcase. And he does. He really does. But someone just sat at his table because the coffee shop is so busy, and their profile is gorgeous, and yep, he’s definitely trashed the outline again because this man is definitely going to be a part of it. “Is there something on my face?” he hears, and Joe pauses. Shit. Joe breathes out so heavily that his glasses fog up, and he looks up to find the man giving him a hint of a smile, tilting his head slightly to the side. “You’re staring,” the man states and honestly, yeah, Joe is. “I’m not.” Idiot. --- or joe is an artist, and he falls in love. and nicky is along for the ride.

with your hands, your whispers 

Come on love, that’s it.” “I can’t, Yusuf, please.” He’s gasping, breathless. His Yusuf always leaves him so breathless. It’s too much. And of course, Yusuf knows that it’s too much. He knows exactly what Nicky needs, and what makes him overflow, and it seems like his adoring heart wants him to spill over, again and again in every sense of the word. *** or a take on what nicolo and yusuf were doing before booker and andy got to the hotel in marrakesh

let’s right, these wrongs, together (see accompanying edit here)

If he concentrates hard enough, he can still smell Yusuf on the scarf, and it brings immediate tears to his eyes. Because it’s only been nearly a year, and he’s yearned for the man for longer, way before they got together. And even with all the odds, with all the numbers combined, Nicky doesn’t believe that there’ll be enough time that can pass to heal the pain that’s clawing on his chest at that moment. That has been since Yusuf said it was over.   Nile’s legs move from his lap, and suddenly there are arms around him, pulling him close and Nicky closes his eyes, pressing his face on Nile’s neck. “You’re allowed to hurt as long as you have to, Nicky,” Nile says to him, and it’s so, so kind. “You can tell me as much or as little as you can. I didn’t mean to push.” Nicky sniffles. “I still love him,” he croaks out, like it needed to be heard, like his desperation is a call out for his heart. His heart that let him go, that told him that it’s over. *** or the one where Nicky is housemates with Nile after Yusuf breaks up with him. And when he finally opens up about it, Nicky realizes that his current predicament was brought on by misunderstandings and good intentions with ill results. But it’s too late. It’s been nearly a year; it doesn’t matter now. Right? Not if your housemate is Nile Freeman.

hand-shaped bruise (see accompanying edit here)

Prince Nicolò spends most of his days alone. He lives with no one, after all, ever since his parents died. Ever since he was killed by Sr. Merrick and Lady Kozak, his screams ringing out throughout the night until his final breath, only to show up the next day at the farmer’s market. *** or my halloween take on our beloved characters.

BOOKER x COPLEY

when time dictates love 

"So not ugly,” Sebastien says, and Aidan looks at Mr. Copley, who just shrugs, smiling. “He is insufferable. Does he know this?” he says, and the man just smiles, both of them ignoring how Sebastien says ‘hey!’. “He does,” Mr. Copley whispers, and he says, and Sebastien’s fingers intertwine with his atop his knee, and Aidan looks away. “But you like him anyway,” he says instead. Mr. Copley chuckles, and he leans to press a kiss on Sebastien’s forehead, who’s no longer laughing. “Yes, but I like him anyway.” --- or a home-care worker witnesses Booker and Copley’s last year together, as time catches up on them

MULTIPLE RELATIONSHIPS

there is no timeline when it comes to this (Booker x Copley; Joe x Nicky - also featuring Joe & Booker bffs and Nicky really giving a damn about Booker)

“I’m happy for you, Yusuf,” Booker says, because he means it despite the ache, and Joe smiles, nodding, and he’s smiling in a way that makes his heart hurt even more. “We love you, Booker,” Joe says because he’s just that person, before driving off as Booker makes his way up to his apartment, steps feeling like lead. He makes the point to check the mail, and he’s not even sure why. He’s never checked mail before, Joe usually did. Booker pauses then, looking at the different ads he pulled out of the box after twisting the key. So many changes already. When he finally gets to his unit, he finds someone standing at the door. They turn when he pauses, and greets him with a smile. “Hello Booker,” James Copley says, giving him a two-finger salute. “You haven’t aged a day.” *** or where Booker’s best friend Yusuf moves out to be with his Nicolo, and he makes the choice to live alone for the first time in years. Booker tells himself he’ll be fine, tells everyone that he���ll be fine, even though the weight in his chest tells him otherwise. but he really has no choice. this is his life now. then James Copley comes home.

OTHER SHIPS & FRIENDSHIPS & NO SHIPS

little things, for the heart (Nile and Joe)

“Are you…baking bread?” Joe looks up at her then, and Nile snorts, walking over to the counter and reaching up to tug on the man’s stray curls, dark tight ringlets dusted with white flour. “Maybe,” Joe says, in a sing-song tone. *** or Nile takes a lesson she learned from her mother and applies it to her new life.

OTHER SERIES

THE NILE FREEMAN COLLECTION (Written for Nile Freeman Week 2020)

nile + love or where Nile meets another queen 

nile + sadness or where Nile keeps it real with Booker

nile + alone time or where Nile gets of ice cream and thinks of dying

nile + comfort or where Nile makes Joe feel better, the best way she knows how

MY LOVE, WE STILL HAVE MUCH TO LEARN (Post-Canon Take)

do not let me awake alone (Nicky x Joe)

After Booker’s betrayal, Joe is angry and Nicky suffers through the fallout. And for the the first time in a long time, Nicky understands what it's like to be alone in his grief.And something inside him breaks.

my love for him kills any anger (Nicky x Joe; Joe & Andy)

A month later, Andy finds out that Nicky is talking to Booker.But it doesn’t mean that Joe forgives him. Far from it. They've been through so much for him to just let it go.

a blessing from above (Nile & Nicky; Nile & Joe; Nicky x Joe) 

Nile gets used to a few things, three months into her new life. But the one thing that wracks her brain the most is how they deal with loss and suffering.Thankfully, she has a lifetime to figure it out. Because they’re family, and she wants to help them. At least, start them on the right path. They are grown people, after all. Because her Mama raised her right.

[seddm]

STARCO OVERVIEW - Season 1

I’m writing this series of posts to give Star and Marco’s interactions, and the way they related to and shaped their character arcs and growth, both as individuals and as a pair of friends and, eventually, lovers. These are going to be descriptive posts for the most part: the show is over, and we have been told with very clear amounts of exposition that Star and Marco are the most important person for each other, and the main key to being able to achieve happiness, so I don’t feel like there’s much left to speculate, and I definitely feel like I shouldn’t have to convince anyone anymore of how important their bond has been throughout the show. What I want to do is (a bit self-indulgently at times, try to humor me on this, it’s one last big celebration of the show!) retrace their journey from the beginning, highlighting what themes and elements were there from the beginning, which moments brought important and tangible changes to their dynamics and personas and maybe, just maybe, make someone go “wow so they planned this since the beginning!” or “wow so even if later seasons focused less on them it was still a recurring element throughout their relationship!”.

SEASON 1

SEASON 2 (Incoming)

SEASON 3 (Incoming)

SEASON 4 (Incoming)

STAR COMES TO EARTH (1x01a)

Season premiere, the birth of Star and Marco’s friendship. After a rocky start they quickly bond over a shared fight experience that showed us (and them) from the get go how complementary they could have been for each other: 

Marco wanted some excitement in his life, both to stop being called “Safe Kid”, and probably as a semi unconscious reaction to being someone who always had a hard time getting out from his shell and comfort zone. Star provided that, not just by bringing monsters and fistfights in his life, but by being the kind of person who could have finally helped him live his life a little more. Marco clearly has a bit of a neurotic personality, but he could drop his “safe kid” act after the first segment because he wasn’t entirely lying when he said that he likes taking risks. He should have just phrased it slightly differently, “I would like to take risks”, as an umbrella term for making new experiences (remember, the show is a coming of age story for Star and Marco first and foremost). And Star is the person who dragged him out from his comfort zone, something that he always would have liked to do, but never had the courage to.

Meanwhile Star always felt like she was underestimated and not taken seriously or trusted with things (this is going to be her main theme throughout S1), struggling to find her place in life between her overbearing mom and her role as a princess, and Marco was what she needed the most, a person ready to understand and forgive her, and who could appreciate her qualities and interests. Sure, Star used to hang out with Ponyhead and dated Tom before coming to Earth, but this was probably the first time someone told her that she was “amazing” for having kicked monsters to the curb, something she was certainly chastised for on Mewni. 

As she wrote in her diary (from the Book of Spells, so obviously something written years after S1 was produced, but it still encapsulates the themes of their first encounter), she feels like Marco is the first person she met with whom she can be completely open, and who can make her life feel less chaotic.

So the first episode already gave us a first taste of the very core of their relationship and of what they bring to the other’s life (something that’s going to be greatly expanded in the future, obviously): Marco helps Star be more grounded, supporting her choices and helping her with her chaotic life; Star helps Marco become the best version of himself, by encouraging him and pushing him to experience new things.

PARTY WITH A PONY (1x01b)

We are shown how strong the friendship between Star and Marco already his, and that Marco is warming up to a crazy life full of adventures and threats, but the important part to me is the closing scene: after a night spent jumping around crazy dimensions and with the freedom the newly acquired scissors would give them, Star and Marco decide that the best option to conclude the night would be nachos and movies at home on the couch. Obviously there’s some cinematographic / comedic value in ending the episode with this kind of “whiplash change” ending, but it also tells us something important about the two dorks, who can have fun with each other while doing just about anything: they don’t necessarily need crazy dimensions and adventures (even if they clearly enjoy them), the important part is being together. This concept is particularly evident in episodes like Camping Trip or Beach Day (Star calls the latter “best day of her life” and all they did was having a half day trip to a beach close-by).

MATCHMAKER (1x02a)

Nothing major, but between Marco calming Star down when she panics about St. Olga and Star helping Marco with Jackie at the end we get a small scale taste of what they bring in each other’s life, as I talked about earlier.

SCHOOL SPIRIT (1x02b)

Nothing major either, but Star smiling warmly at Marco when he’s ready to share the blame for what happened show just how much her life always lacked someone who would trust and understand her.

THE OTHER EXCHANGE STUDENT (1x03b)

Star being “protective” over Marco and being so happy when told she’s his favorite exchange student is cute, but otherwise not particularly meaningful since there wasn’t a proper build up toward this heartwarming moments, and since it’s clear that Star wouldn’t lose against mythomaniacal member of the support cast.

CHEER UP STAR (1x04a)

Star and Marco trying to cheer each other up, with Marco going to dangerous extents as a way to repay Star for her kindness earlier in the day, is yet another sign of the mutual support that characterizes their relationship, and while the dynamic can be found in a number of episodes (almost every episode in S1), this time it’s more focused - for the flashback part of the episode at least - on daily life downtime, instead of fighting and adventures, making it worth more in a way. But the pièce de résistance of the episode comes later, with Marco comforting Star by casually telling her that she’s the coolest girl he knows, something that clearly greatly pleases Star.

The scene, while not necessarily a fundamental part of their arcs (it’s not a particularly recurring theme), is important for a number of reasons:

it shows us that Star can be insecure when it comes to interacting with people and everything that relates to being appreciated as a person, even though she’s so extroverted and sure of herself most of the time

it shows us just how much weight Marco’s words have to Star - a passing comment made while he wasn’t even looking at her had such a strong effect of a Star who spent the day worrying about Oskar, and this reconnects later in the season with the theme of being trusted (when Marco doesn’t trust Star that hurts her bad, even if she should be used to people in her life not trusting her. See Blood Moon Ball and The Banagic Incident).

this is more speculative than anything, and possibly not something the storyboarders thought about while writing the scene, but I think it’s significant that Marco considers Star the coolest girl he knows, and not Jackie, the athletic skater girl he has been crushing of for years.

MEWBERTY (1x06a)

This is a big one, and also a surprisingly straightforward one: Marco thinks that he lost Star forever, and he’s left broken and crying on the ground. There’s a lot of speculation that can be done about all the layers of the episode (puberty, hormones, Marco being freaked out by Star’s “flirting” at the very beginning as she started losing control, the idea of Star maybe never going back to normal as a metaphor for people potentially changing during puberty, sometimes abandoning their old friends), but all of this doesn’t really matter, at least now that we can look at the whole show at once. The important part is that for the first time in the series we see just how important Star has become to Marco, and we see the special and intense bond they had since the beginning, something that makes Marco react in ways we never see for any other character, even in later episodes.

Star immediately wanting to try her new wings out with Marco tells us (and Marco) that not only she’s not going to change and leave him behind, but she’s eager to involve him in this new part of her life. Which is something that’s going to happen again and again in less symbolic ways later in the show, with the squirehood arc and with the whole finale arc of the series leading up to “we belong together and I need you in my life to be truly happy”.

Also not as important, but it’s hard not to see some “if you love someone let them go, if it was meant to be they’ll be back” imagery in the whole finale sequence.  Obviously extremely premature at this point of the story - Marco didn’t love Star in the common sense of the word by any extent, but still nice.

PIXTOPIA (1x06b)

Not a moment of Starco development per se, but Star being so happy about Marco having messed up for once is coherent with the main theme of the season for Star’s arc: being trusted, feeling underestimated. Seeing that even the usually so organized and careful Marco can "star things up” is source of happiness for Star and makes the two of them closer. Remember, Star and Marco aren’t opposites, they’re complementary. 

LOBSTER CLAWS (1x07a)

To be expanded with Mewnipendence Day, but Marco is the first one to open Star’s eyes about the possibility of monsters not being all that bad, and we know how pivotal to Star’s development and persona this is going to be in the future. Marco’s fresh perspective on things is the first spark for Star’s growth, just like Star bringing a much bigger outlook on things in his life is going to greatly help him mature. Dimensions meet and something good comes from it. And the show ends with the dimensions literally meeting so you know that it IS something they wanted to be clear from the get go on purpose.

SLEEP SPELLS (1x07b)

Alternatvie synopsis for the episode: monster wants to steal Star’s beautiful face, and Marco is having none of it. Equality is an important theme in the series, from equality between monsters and Mewmans to S4 emphasizing the importance of both partners in a relationship being peers (through Marco’s role as a squire and subsequent changes in The Knight Shift and, on the other side of the coin, Star’s behavior with Tom). Sleep Spells is the one episode that directly addresses this idea. Star’s words are not just for showing, and they deeply affect Marco: from this point onward he’s never going to question his standing compared to Star again, and while he might obviously not be as involved with the story as Star, nor as important in the big picture of things (lore wise) or powerful, that’s never going to directly be a problem. Obviously the aforementioned “squire arc” puts him in a lower position than Star in a way, something that gets fixed in The Knight Shift, but that’s something more symbolic and used as a step in his character arc, rather than a concrete source of insecurities for Marco.

Needless to say, this is a core concept to their whole relationship, and the episode perfectly features it: Marco helps Star with her messed up and stressful life, Star helps Marco by pushing him to become a better version of himself, shedding some of his insecurities and giving him opportunities to shine.

Note: it might be easy to go “but in S3 and S4 Star barely ever helps Marco, it’s always the opposite!”. That’s not entirely false, since in later seasons there aren’t as many episodes where Star and Marco have proper team play or where Star is the one helping Marco, but that’s caused by story necessities more than by an actual imbalance in their relationship: Lint Catcher, Trial By Squire, Princess Turdina, Marco Jr., Booth Buddies... even in the second half of the show Star’s presence, actions and words are fundamental for Marco’s growth. Also “we don’t need to get caught up in who saves who”. Plot and story structure reasons required for Marco to be the one helping more often in later season, but that never meant that Star wasn’t always ready to help him on her own when needed.

BLOOD MOON BALL (1x08a)

The Big One. Not because of the dance itself, and definitely not because of what the Blood Moon ended up being over the show, but because it’s the first episode that starts lightly treading into the waters of Romance for Star and Marco. Mind you, it’s barely a beginning, it’s all about undertones and very unconscious feelings and reactions, but it’s undeniable that the episode has been purposefully written in such a way to convey the idea that some kind of tension leading to more might exist between these two (even if it’s going to take a looooong time for it to concretize).

From the beginning Marco displays some vague form of jealousy, something rooted in friendship and in being worried about Star (who certainly told Marco things about Tom, and they apparently weren’t good things given his reactions to his arrival), but still jealousy, and we know that in fiction, and especially in this show, jealousy is connected to “feelings start peeking when someone feels like they’re losing someone else”. This is no Just Friends obviously, it’s barely the beginning of something, but the episode is all about tones and themes even more than what the characters are knowingly thinking.

And Star kinda puts a “wall” between “Marco” and “romance” by separating the kind of fun two friends have together from the kind of fun she can have during what’s essentially a date. Which is true, it’s a reality that applies to almost all relationships around, but it’s going to prove itself to be very wrong in the specific case of Star and Marco, with time.

Marco complimenting Star like this, Marco reacting to the voice only when it mentions the word “lovers”... again, the whole episode is all about setting a mood that leads to the payoff on the balcony, the whole episode plays around with the idea of two friends who get even closer as friends after a night with extremely strong romantic undertones.

This all plays into the “true love stems from true friendship” idea that the series pushes with Star and Marco’s relationship, and that’s the take-home message from the episode, well before any “did Marco like Star at this point did Star like Marco?”. It’s all the more true now that we know Marco’s own take on his feelings for Star (and the same certainly goes for Star as well): a relationship that started as an intense bond from the beginning, and kept growing over time, with more and more sides to their relationship surfacing - friendship, commitment, eventually romantic love. The seed to all of this was there since the beginning, and that’s why Marco acting like this is not inconsistent with his obliviousness, but at the same time it’s going to take many more episodes for some of these seeds to sprout. That’s why Star won’t realize that she does harbor romantic interest for Marco until Just Friends, and that’s why it’s going to take until Lava Lake Beach for Marco to do the same. 

Teens are dumb, feelings are confusing, and this show rides these ideas SUPER hard as a way to put themes and undertones here and there even whole seasons before the characters actually start consciously noticing something, and Marco’s jealousy in this episode is a perfect example.

Fun fact, the Book of Spells adds information from Star’s diary that make this scene more Starco than it is, not just thematically but also to the character herself. This doesn’t change nothing and doesn’t tell us anything more than what My New Wand already implied with the diary plot, but it’s nice to know that the writers wants to posthumously state that Star’s droopy and half lidded smiles might have been more or less consciously directed at Marco, and not just a charming stranger.

The balcony talk. One of my favorite scenes in the whole series. In this moment Marco truly shows that he truly understands Star, and that he’s ready to swallow his pride for the sake of their friendship. Star bares her vulnerabilities and for the first time she truly shows how much not being trusted by others - especially by people she greatly cares about - hurts her, that she doesn’t want to feel like a little kid who has to be protected and told what to do. And Marco understands that he overstepped his boundaries as a friend and tried to act more like a “parent” - again, emphasis on how important being equals is to a relationship.

This sets the mood for their relationship as a whole (I mean it already was like that, but this formally introduce the theme as an important element), Marco is going to always be at her side, and especially during the rest of S1 and S2 he’s often going to advise her, teach her things, but he’s never going to put himself over her level, he’s always going to be a friend talking to a friend, helping her figure things out on her own (the best example is Mewnipendence Day, we’ll talk about it later). 

Again, one last time: the final scene was clearly characterized as what would be flirting in a normal TV show, with joking around followed by laughing for no good reason as an effect of the tension and awkwardness dissipating. But it doesn’t lead to anything just yet because that’s how the show operates. Star and Marco shared a very intimate dance in an extremely romantically charged context, but that didn’t lead to any romance, if anything it lead to Star being angered. The moment of emotional connection, followed by this explosion of “is there something more in the air?” was a consequence of deep friendship and mutual honesty. Just like Booth Buddies is going to be, just like Here to Help is going to be. Because Star and Marco’s romantic love is just going to be one more piece of the puzzle of their relationship, a relationship based - as Star said just one segment earlier - on having each other’s backs: physically and emotionally.

Some considerations about these last few segments, to conclude: Mewberty made Marco experience how much he cared about Star, Sleep Spells featured him feeling “unworthy” of a magical interdimensional princess. Blood Moon Ball clearly features from jealousy on Marco’s side. It’s possible that during these episodes Marco started developing some feelings for Star, and that her “I need a friend” line, along with the “different kind of fun” from earlier in the episode, was a cold showed snapping him back to reality and making him back down on it. It’s not an unreasonable interpretation, Star’s words might have been interpreted by Marco, even unconsciously, as “I want us to be just friends, nothing more”. 

Would be consistent with the crescendo of emotional intimacy in these three episodes and with his concern for Star clearly being at least partially connected to Tom’s specific role as ex boyfriend. This being said, it doesn’t really matter. The show always played super hard with the idea of stupid teens being able to experience incredibly intense emotions without questioning them in the slightest, not getting any clarity and insight on their own desires until some Story Connected™ epiphany hits them. If Marco was feeling something more than friendship for Star at this point, it was absolutely unconscious, to the point that Star’s own confession later in Starcrushed is not going to make any buried feelings resurface - it’s going to take until Lava Lake Beach for the dork to realize why he felt such intense things for his bestie. So as interesting as speculating over the aforementioned trifecta of episodes can be, it doesn’t really matter: Star and Marco’s bond strengthens while they’re on the balcony, period. Maybe it was entirely platonic, maybe there was already a seed of romance in their hearts (Marco’s aforementioned jealousy; Star mentioning in the Book of Spells that deep down she might have realized that the masked man was Marco, and that she didn’t mind that she got to see how good he is at dancing), it doesn’t really matter since in the big picture of Star and Marco’s special relationship there’s just one big idea of “Love”, growing over the seasons until they’re ready to embrace all of it, culminating in both of them knowing that they belong together. That’s why personally (while there’s no way to be absolutely sure) I don’t like the idea of Marco feeling like he got “friendzoned”, resolving to double down on his efforts with Jackie once again. It’s highly subjective but I feel like it might cheapen the purity and intensity of the moment.

Also let’s be real, there’s no way S1 Marco wasn’t dense enough to be completely oblivious about why he felt pangs of jealousy the whole day.

FORTUNE COOKIES (1x08b)

“Love is always the answer” ties nicely with the series finale and Star and Marco’s love and desire to be together being what ultimately merges dimensions together, and seeing Star and Marco owning up to their respective mistakes is always nice, but nothing major.

FREEZE DAY (1x09a)

Star is supportive of Marco and his plans with Jackie, and she tries to push him into just talking to her instead of sticking to nodding, which is all part (along with the whole “Star as wingman for Jarco” arc) of the bigger idea of Star helping Marco get out from his comfort zone. Just like it’s going to happen in other episodes (Interdimensional Field Trip, Naysaya, Just Friends) Star might give Marco the first nudge, but he’s the one who has to decide and take action for himself - in this case thanks to what he realized by seeing the recordings of his past.

Also, Marco remarks that the time spent goofing around were the funniest 60 hours of his life. It’s reasonable to assume that the writers didn’t have in mind the themes from Beach Day while writing this episode, but it’s still nice to see that the idea that Star and Marco can be the key to each other’s happiness even while doing the most mundane and silly of activities was there since the beginning, even if it’s going to take until the end of the series for it to truly become an important theme for Starco.

ST. OLGA REFORM SCHOOL FOR WAYWARD PRINCESSES (1x10)

Nothing major in the episode, but it contains an interesting self contained mini arc for Marco: at the beginning of the episode, and for half of it, he’s clearly unenthusiastic about saving Pony Head and mostly convinced that Star is exaggerating about St. Olga and how terrible it is. But once he realizes what kind of brainwashy horror place the school is, he starts championing for the importance of individuality, being the one to lead the revolution. It’s not really something strictly connected to Starco, but it’s interesting to see how Marco became for many princesses the icon of individuality and freedom to be yourself, which is the most important thing for Star (especially during S1, but “be yourself” is clearly a theme that encompasses the whole series). It’s easy to see why and how Marco became, over time, the perfect life companion for Star.

Another interesting detail that relates once more to the idea of Marco and Star having each other’s backs and complementing their shortcomings: until the climax of the episode Star is terrified by St. Olga, and Marco is the one taking the lead. This is visually represented by having Marco being the one grasping Star’s wrist to make her follow him, when usually the opposite happens.

MEWNIPENDENCE DAY (1x11a)

The best example in the whole series of what I mentioned earlier: just like in Lobster Claws Marco is the one who starts opening Star’s eyes to the reality of her people’s history, and to the monsters’ condition in Mewni, thank to his unbiased perspective on the matter, but he doesn’t outright tell her that she and her people are wrong, and he definitely doesn’t act as someone who has the right answer. He just nudges Star in the right direction, while still acting as her peer, a concerned friend who wants the best for and from Star.

He’s ready to help Star with her re-enactment, he knows that’s important to her, but he also tries to give her a “way out”, and then defuses the situation when tension rises at the end.

As I said, it’s not surprising that Star fell head over heels for this dork, eventually.

THE BANAGIC INCIDENT (1x11b)

The atypical ending of this segment confused half the fandom for years, but it’s as straightforward as it can get: Star’s own insecurities lie in feeling like people underestimate her and don’t take her seriously, Marco is the one person (at least during S1) who trusts her and has high esteem of her, when Marco stops doing that (like in Blood Moon Ball, and in this episode) she gets particularly hurt. Easy as that. Not a “positive” Starco moment but one that confirms just how important Marco’s opinion of her is to Star (remember Cheer Up Star, and how easily his absent minded comment about how cool she is could make her forget about a whole day of heartbreak).

MARCO GROWS A BEARD (1x12b)

This episode has a lesson for Star about not relying excessively on magic and this connects both with the idea of Marco keeping her grounded and limiting her excesses, and to Star giving up her wand in the season finale, but ultimately 90% of the episode is Star realizing stuff on her own so it’s hard to call it a victory for Starco. Still, definitely the result of a season of accrued maturity and Marco rubbing a bit off on her. 

STORM THE CASTLE (1x13)

The episode gets understandably remembered mostly for Toffee and for kick-starting the show’s plot for real, but it also provided an extremely important moment of growth for Star, using Marco and their relationship as the main “device” to allow that. I know that I might sound biased in favor of Starco, but it’s not an exaggeration at all to say that all major moments of growth for Star during the first season are heavily connected to Marco and their relationship: the show was much smaller at the time, with less characters and less story elements to play with, almost the entirety of Star’s experience with Earth, and by extension with her first steps toward maturity, revolved almost entirely around Marco - with following seasons expanding their experiences and interactions much more, allowing for other elements and characters to play major roles.

Anyway, enough with the introduction. The episode opens up with Star risking her and Marco’s life for a sandwich. This is apparently a regression for her character, compared to the rest of the season, and it’s on purpose: this is “past Star”, the Star who only cares about seeking fun and thrill with no cares about anything or anyone else. The kind of person she was before moving to Earth and, by extensions, meeting Marco.

Then we move to current Star: she’s still seeking fun and adventure - she still considers the sandwich important, but she wants to share it with someone, with Marco.

Interestingly Marco violently rejects Toffee’s sandwich: if we go with this interpretation it might be a symbol of a frustrated Marco initially reacting to his argument with Star by “rejecting” fun. It’s not that important and it’s purely a potential interpretation, but it’s still interesting to see the second dork being involved in this moment of growth, and not just Star (despite being the real protagonist of the episode, obviously).

Then by the end of the episode Star, after having failed to win against Toffee by doing the same things she usually did with Ludo (Toffee = adult, Star can’t succeed in the world of adults while acting like a kid), Star gives up on her wand (without a second thought I might had, it’s obvious that no cartoon character would have ever put an object over the life of their best friend, but she doesn’t even do a double take on the wand, something quite common in this kind of situation, she immediately knows what to do as soon as she realizes how much Marco is in danger, and that warms my heart). Symbolically she’s giving up on her fun for the sake of Marco.

Once the deed is done, no words are needed. Their previous argument is clearly forgotten and everything forgiven, and both Star and Marco know that they both need a hug. They lost a lot (mostly Star, sure, but as we have seen Marco was involved in this “items as a metaphor for careless fun” as well), but they still have each other.

But surprise! Star actually still has a wand, a new one. The symbol of her fun is not entirely gone, just cleaved in half. But she also gained something from the event: more maturity, and a stronger than ever bond with Marco. Something got cleaved apart, for two individuals to be cleaved together, both gaining something from this. Admittedly it’s harder to clearly outline what Marco gained from this, since the wand is a symbol more directly connected to Star and to The Plot™, and Marco’s immaturity has always been less obvious and apparent than Star’s, but it’s also undeniable that his bond with her is going to be the driving force behind most of his character arc, and even if we’re going to have to wait until Sophomore Slump to truly see him stepping up his game (despite his “slowly walking toward maturity” arc officially starting with Red Belt), Storm the Castle marks the moment that forever seals his and Star’s relationship as the most important thing for both of them, something that was tested during a life or death situation with much higher stakes than ever before, resulting in the scene above, a hug that says “we lost a lot today, but we have each other and that’s what really matters”. 

Also it’s a first, “smaller” version of what’s going to happen in Cleaved with the hug in the Realm of Magic, so these bastards probably had in mind the idea of dimensions being cleaved together since the beginning, or at least the idea of Star and Marco’s meeting being a symbol for dimensions meeting and gaining something important from each other. Wow it’s almost like Star and Marco’s relationship and the way it influences & is influenced by both of them as individuals has always been one of the top priorities of the show!

And given the way the show ended, we can be reasonably be sure this is the correct interpretation, and that Glossaryck's words were meant to directly related to Star and Marco’s relationship, and to all they bring into each other’s lives.

Also Star does a partial version of a dip down to save Marco, and while I wouldn’t say that’s particularly surprising per se - any main character would have very strong emotions when determined to save their best friend from a potential gruesome death - it’s still part of a recurring theme for S2: Marco and Marco related situations are the quickest way to have Star experience intense feelings and apply herself to do learn or realize something.

[rheajstudies]

10 Questions Tag!

Thanks @yourstudyfriend for tagging me!

1. Do you like videogames? What is/has been your favourite?

I don’t think i’d consider myself a video game person per se, but i build in the sims 4 nearly everyday. I got the game about one and a half years ago and i’ve loved making houses with it (gameplay has never really interested me so I never played the sims before the sims 4). Growing up I was a large super mario fan for the gameboy advanced!

2. What album is your all time favourite? Why do you recommend it?

Ok i’m stuck between Love and Compromise by Mahalia and Sun and Moon by Sam Kim. They are two very different albums in my opinion but they both take me on a journey every time I listen. Sun and Moon puts me in a relaxed, happy mood while Love and Compromise puts me in a reminiscing mind frame, taking me through a lot of different emotions. Highly recommend both artists!

3. Who are your favourite Youtubers?

Loving the sims I watch A LOT of speed builds (read: everyday lol). Some of my favorite builders are Marmelad, Mr. Olkan, Bear and Bun and XFreezerbunnyX. I also tend to watch a decent amount of Markiplier. Lastly, I just discovered Kelly Stamps not too long ago, and I really love her personality and sense of humor!

4. What type of art is your favourite - music, visual (fine arts, sculptures, design etc.), drama or literature?

The fist thing that came to my mind was music because I’m listening to something all the time, but i really am a huge museum person, courtesy of my mother. My mom always took me to all the museums in a city when we traveled, art and science. I definitely love a trip to an art museum though music may just nudge it out especially during this pandemic where I have heavily relied on music to keep me sane. 

5. Do you keep a journal? What about a planner?

I keep a bullet journal as a planner! I’ve tried to keep a separate journal as a sort of diary/daily journal, but I’m not very consistent with it.

6. Do you like to dance? In your room, or in public places? What’s the best song to dance to in your opinion?

I do like to dance! I took dance classes for about 13 years, but I mainly dance in my home now. I don’t know if I have a go to song but the greatest showman soundtrack always gets me moving lately. 

7. Which Disney princess are you?

So I went and took a quiz (https://ohmy.disney.com/quiz/2014/06/25/quiz-which-disney-princess-are-you/) and I got Mulan, which I can totally see but also I felt very connected to Moana when I saw the movie but I think they have a lot of similar personality traits. 

8. What mundane aspect of life do you enjoy more than others?

I really enjoy shopping. Not like to the mall but like going out to get groceries, batteries and other home supplies. I make a whole day out of it normally and I can spend hours going store to store getting everything I need.

9. Do you like celebrating your birthday? Why/Why not? And if you do, what was your best birthday so far?

I think this is the first birthday that I am not excited for. I’m starting to feel kind of old and it scares me a bit to realize that life is flying right on by me. My favorite birthday so far would either be my 16th or my 21st. For my 16th, my mom took my friends and I to Cedar Point (which I was obsessed with lol) and for my 21st my friends and I went out to a cool rooftop restaurant and then went out to a sushi bar that sold some pretty cool drinks.

10. What’s your favourite type of bird?

I love penguins! They are always my favorite part of the zoo. My zoo actually opened up about a month ago by appointment and I decided to go. I learned once I got there that unfortunately since the penguin enclosure is in doors, they were off limits. My fav penguin is the Galapagos Penguin!

Here are my questions to you guys!

1. If you could go anywhere right now for 24 hours, where would yo go?

2. What is your favorite podcast?

3. What is the best book you have ever read?

4. Breakfast, Lunch, or Dinner?

5. What piece of media (book, movie, tv, etc.) shaped your personality most?

6. Do you prefer bullet journaling or traditional planners?

7. What is your favorite color to wear?

8. Do you visit museums when you travel? If you do, what has been your favorite?

9. What is your go to song to raise your mood?

10. Do you collect anything? If you do, what excites you about collecting your item?

I tag: @paper-gir1 @patriotstudies @relaxandstudy and @leilanistudies

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Having a whale of a great time!

Scuba diving in the Crystal Blue Lagoon? Check. Collecting pearl oysters and whatever else lies at Sea Glass Shores. Check.  Crafting a bunch of cool floaties and braving the Shimmering Whirlpool? Check and check. Riding whales towards the sunset? Check!

Vacationing at the Sparkle Islands has been exactly what I needed! It's nice meeting up with Lenie again as well as Nico and Dewey. The Fairweathers have been taking a break from recording and performing so they've been focusing on adventuring and solo endeavors.

I can't believe that Lenie's a college senior now - where did the time go? Jimmy's busy with family stuff so that's why he's not with us. It feels like forever since I last saw him - but that's what video chats are for! Also, his kids are adorable and I'm glad to finally meet them as well as his husband. Nico's been globe trotting as usual, full of fun and exciting stories to tell us. Dewey's been taking it easy, trying to create a better work-life balance after taking on too much last year.

So far their break has been going really well. With everything going on in their personal lives, they could really take some time off. Artist's block sucks but sometimes there's nothing you can really do about it other than wait it out and focus on other things. Creativity can be finicky, especially when you've got other things on your mind like responsibilities, burnout, or a busy schedule.

I've been in a bit of a creative slump as well. From running events at the camp to personal life stuff getting in the way, I've been feeling off this past week. Like I can't relax because I have a million things running in my mind. If I'm expecting a call or email I find myself unable to focus on anything else because I'm too busy mentally preparing for having to do something that makes me nervous and often drained at the end.

Fortunately, I managed to get pretty much all the boring and stressful adulting stuff out of the way. But after spending most of last week being on edge, it's hard to fall back into my normal rhythm. I've been kinda on autopilot, just trying to get through the day. Up until a couple days ago I've been feeling pretty meh most of the time.

Usually, to de-stress, I turn to art. Doodling, journaling, knitting - whatever creative medium I'm in the mood for. But when you're in an art block, it causes more stress. As someone who's been journaling for years, there will be times when you've hardly touched your notebook in days, weeks, and even months. I have to say, though, since running the camp I've been journaling in a somewhat regular basis - especially when I started incorporating art journaling into it - but I still have times when I'm just not feeling it.

Sometimes getting your feelings out on paper doesn't help, especially when you don't have the words to explain exactly how you feel without it sounding forced or an incomprehensible mess of words. There are times when I want to write about something but the words just don't come out right, so I end up scrapping the whole thing. And of course, there are times when I want to write about something that's been on my mind, only to end up rambling about something else and going off on that tangent.

Then there are times when your mind is so fogged up that you come up completely empty. Up until today, I've been head full of fog, thoughts completely empty. Still kinda feels like that, to be completely honest, but the fog's slowly clearing up. I think the whale ride really helped with that.

As someone who believes a change of scenery and a good distraction helps when life takes a lot of out you, I find that I have a hard time following my own advice. I'm all about taking time to forget your troubles and worries for a bit, but yet I'm having difficulty doing so. I don't know why, but I always find it difficult to completely let loose - like I let myself have fun but at the same time my worries are always there in the back of my mind. It's like I'm subconsciously telling myself to have fun, but not too much fun. As much as I want to let go, there's a part of me that holds on, making me afraid to let myself fall freely.

What's the point in telling people to escape their troubles for a bit when I can't even do that without feeling like I'm doing something wrong? It's not that I don't know how to have fun - though it's taken a lot longer for me to catch on than most people - but sometimes it feels forced. I don't know, it's always something I've struggled with - at least compared to most of my peers growing up. Maybe part of it comes from being a convenient person - one who doesn't ask for much, someone who doesn't go out of their way to bring attention to themselves - the kind of person who tags along and is just there.

It's kinda like I don't know exactly how to have fun. Sort of like I'm second guessing myself by wondering, "Is this what having fun feels like? Am I doing it right? Is this enough?" and of course, that totally defeats the purpose of escaping and letting go.

I have to say, being at the camp as helped a lot in terms of teaching me how to live in the moment and enjoy the good times to the fullest. It's still a bit of a new concept for me, but at least I'm coming out of my shell - and that's what counts. Maybe I'll never be as carefree as some people - I've been told that I'm kinda low-key and serious by nature - and I'm okay with that. Sometimes I wish that I could be a bit more vocal and expressive and active, but most of the time I'm happy with being an observer and doing my own thing in the background.

It was Chai and Rhonda's idea to visit the Sparkle Islands. It was on the list for a while but for the past year the islands were undergoing a lot of reconstruction so a lot of places were closed. Leyla, who's one of the princesses of the islands, was behind a lot of the restoration and repair of various sites.

Turns out that I just missed her when we visited Maron Heights to watch our friends perform in After Hours at the Opera. Because she was so busy getting the islands back in shape, she dropped by to see the show the night before we came and went back home the next morning.

Like with Kat, Hawk, AJ, and Elara, Leyla's been going through a bunch of changes as well now that things are settling down. Aside from rebuilding the islands, Leyla's getting reacquainted with her mom Archer, who disappeared about twenty years ago in a disaster that left part of the main island in shambles for years. Having her back is still a huge adjustment for Leyla and her momma Rosie as she missed out on a lot. Leyla and Kat are pretty much on the same page when it comes to reuniting with a parent who was presumed dead for most of their lives. Despite the initial awkwardness, things are going well.

As for Leyla, a heated reunion between her moms led to an unexpected surprise - three actually. In about five months their little family of three will double in size. While her moms are terrified, Leyla's at the point where she's fully looking forward to having three new siblings. Sure, it'll be tough as her moms are out of practice with taking care of a baby (or babies). The way Leyla sees it, the 20 + age difference is more of an advantage because she can easily help take care of the babies as her moms will definitely be overwhelmed.

So along with overseeing the islands, Leyla's been helping Rosie take care of Archer, who's on strict bedrest. Archer's doing okay for the most part but the pregnancy has taken a toll on her, especially since there's a high potential for complications. Now with reconstruction almost done - about 98% according to Leyla - she has been spending a lot of time with her moms.

It was by chance that we ran into Lenie and her brothers as well as Leyla and her moms. Leyla's been dropping by to check in on us but it wasn't until today she joined us on a fun filled day of crafting floaties and riding whales. Rosie insisted that Leyla take a well deserved break and invited us for dinner when we got back.

Crafting floaties was a lot of fun and so was diving in the Shimmering Whirlpool. It does take some getting used to though, and one should be a somewhat experienced swimmer as the currents can get quite unpredictable. A bit too rough for my liking at times - not a fan of being spun around quickly because motion sickness, ugh - but overall it was an interesting experience. Definitely more into crafting floaties though.

Maybe I would be more of a thrill seeker if I didn't get so dizzy easily. I can't even look at something spinning for more than half a minute without feeling a headache coming on.

Late afternoon and evening were much more chill, thankfully. Bubble tea, sandwiches, and ice cream at the beach. Building sandcastles and breaking open coconuts. Lying on a beach towel under an umbrella and watching the waves. It's hard to believe that a couple months ago this place was left in ruins.

The biggest highlight was the whale ride. Leyla set us up with some of her friends, who were more than happy to let us hop on and show us the ocean. And I have to say, it was an amazing experience!

For a moment, I was able to let go completely. No worries, no doubts, no second guessing myself. Just bliss and exhilaration. A rare moment in which I get to be in the moment instead of being aware that I'm living a memory that I'll be looking back on fondly someday. It's strange, to lose yourself like that and not feel... weird? Guilty? Disconnected? Like you're not enjoying it enough because a part of your mind is elsewhere.

Riding a whale towards a sunset - what a way to spend an evening! I guess my takeaway from this mind blowing experience is that I need to learn that a part of having fun is letting happiness come to you instead of forcing it or telling yourself that you should be enjoying this. I need to keep that in mind.

[bxstiae]

⚜ ; [ BOTW / OTHERWORLDS.2  ]     WORLDBUILDING │ VERSE

Honestly, i was trying to write a reply for @wildshero​ & then i thought maybe.... i should let people know a few things about Twilight Princess Link in the setting of Breath of the Wild. I feel like it would just be better for people to know a bit more about the verse since it’s actually one or my more favourite verses imo. but first allow me to refresh everybody on what i have for the verse.

let it be know that i will differentiate between the links for the rest of the post as the following: Wild = BOTW Link Twilight = TP Link

NAME: Twilight, Wolfie   SPECIES: wolf   HEIGHT: 4’3”   ‘ IS A LITTLE SHIT ’ Summoned as a wolf by Wild Child. He has to deal with his antics without rest or until he is returned back to his home world. Until then, the Link of this world must deal with the Cheeky Hero-Beast. Nobody said he had to play nice.

Another tidbit, i will always, ALWAYS RP Twilight in a post, TP state when he is in BOTW. Meaning that he already accomplished his role as the saviour of hyrule & things are at a somewhat normal state for everybody. he is currently looking for ways to look for midna & often times runs into random ‘twilight portals’ that are still in his world. these portals are like the normal portals you use in TP, however these are a bit different because they react when 2 things happen. 1: when twilight’s twili shard is nearby & 2: something ‘else’ happens that causes the portal to activate. that something else -- for BOTW purposes -- is when Wild uses the sheikah slate. consider these portals though more like random rifts in twilight’s world. sometimes he can’t even see them. 

one this is for certain though: when he teleports -- only his body is taken. his master sword of his world is not taken with him. so the chances of him turning back into a human are very slim UNLESS he touches or tries to hold the master sword in wild’s world. Also another thing: twili magic works very differently in wild’s world. sometimes twilight -- if he wants to stay close to wild, is able to WILL himself to teleport to wild. but if he stays too far from wild for an extended period of time, he will be teleported back to his own world. he legit cannot stay alone in the wild’s world because it’s not his world. the thing that is keeping him there is the sheikah slate. so obviously if he’s not around it for a long time then he will naturally go home.

anyway, everything else will be under a read more because it talks about twilight’s relationship with wild & so on.

Honestly though, THIS POST made me really think about how Twilight would consider Wild as. if Wild was just a child to him, or if he considered him more as an equal. I feel like it would be the former tbh. THIS OTHER POST kind of proves a bit into that theory as well. Twilight obviously knows a lot more than Wild does & not just because Wild lost his memory. 

Wild, in many ways, is still ‘young’ in the aspect that he hasn’t taken down ganon like how Twilight has. Twilight has fought many things, took down the Demon King himself, & lost a beloved friend while also losing part of his humanity as well. he’s only in his early 20s & he suffers from survivor’s guilt and its trying to mend a broken/betrayed heart. 

am i ignoring that wild has amnesia? no. i am not. wild himself has gone through hardships, i will not lie about that. he almost lost to ganon. the other champions have all died. & zelda is keeping ganon at bay. but he doesn’t know what it is like to have fufilled the prophecy in his world. at least not like how twilight has. 

I brought it up in another post about it, but essentially twilight feels empty after the defeat of ganon. not only that, but he also feels used. now that ganon is gone, he.... doesn’t know what to do with himself. & his friend destroyed the only known why to visit her. so yes, he... feels shattered. his heart weighs so heavy because after such a long journey, he can’t just move on. it’s like everything was stripped from him & he’s back to ‘just being plain old link: ranch hand of ordon village. 

so yea, wild IS a child compared to twilight. his antics are all over the place -- wild is incredibly fickle. he feels like he’s dealing with the ordon children all over again. yet at the same time its just like the ordon children. he wants to help wild. he wants to protect him. in a way, he wants to prevent wild from having the same fate as him. yes he KNOWS what it feels like to be empty. wild is not empty, just because he doesn’t have any memories doesn’t mean that he is empty. wild is just lost. twilight wants to help him, & yet he doesn’t want to rush anything. 

there was a post that discussed the personality of wild but i can’t find it. but it has to deal with the japanese version. ( another reason why i hate the english translations ) in the japanese versions, all the entries in the sheikah slate are LINK’S entries. its like link is keeping a diary to HELP him remember. so in wild’s case with twilight, its THE SAME THING. 

the problem is that the more he remembers, the most intense they are. mainly because pieces of the memories are now wielding together. they aren’t just random fragments. the puzzles pieces are now fitting together. but you try to remember everything too fast? it can be incredibly devastating & more harmful than helpful. twilight recognises this. he knows this because lanaryu did that to him when he was given the vision. it can be harmful to one’s mental health especially if you aren’t prepared. it can lead you down a dark path & you can end up doubting yourself. 

so if wild is rushing in trying to remember everything, it can hurt him. it could make him more reckless because he is simply more determined to win. just imagine this: somebody lashes out in anger after finding something out. you aren’t thinking, you are acting out on anger -- on emotion. it’s the worst thing to do especially in war. you HAVE to be calculating, especially with ganon. you cannot fight ganon with anger & pain. GANON IS THE EPITOME of those emotions. you will only be predictable & naturally, fighting anger with anger doesn’t work out. link will die because ganon is stronger than link mentally in this aspect. wild cannot go in blindly: he doens’t have zelda this time to give him another chance.

& yes, twilight KNOWS all of this. you are the only one who knows you the best. for twilight, he knows wild in a sense that wild is another incarnation of himself. twilight has also met the hero’s shade as well to know that there are several things that always get reborn with the hero of courage. one is that every link is reckless in some way, shape, or form. they have to be! they are the hero of courage; fear is not supposed to be in their blood. i say fear isn’t suppose to be, but anxiety still can be. any link can still hold some sort of doubt &/or self-blame. it’s a given. they are all heroes after all. they are not perfect, & they are expected so much. but each link can take it in differently. though i digress. my main point is that every single link is reckless. ( yes, even twilight, one of the more calculating heroes of courage is also reckless, it’s in his blood )

so yea, twilight worries for wild. he should. but anyway. that doesn’t mean twilight won’t be a little asshole to wild. as much as wild has his antics, so does twilight. wild often times does some really stupid shit, so naturally twilight would too. just to annoy him. call him petty if you want, but twilight is just a tired boy.

please let it be known that while twilgiht is an asshole sometimes, he is VERY protective of wild! he would consider him a best friend ( eventually ) and a companion! Wild does, in fact, fill the voidness in twilight's heart, and while he may be annoyed with him 80% of the time, he still cares for him. a lot. 

uh.... some other things to consider too. twilight would not hesitate to pick up the master sword if wild is severely injured. while he may transform back as a human, he still is a swordsman at heart, and if he’s canine body cannot defend wild, then so be it, twilight would transform to his normal state & risk his life for wild. he will always be better & stronger with a sword than his beast form anyway.

while twilight calls wild ‘link’, wild does actually call him twilight! or twi for short. wild gave him the nickname for a few reasons. 

1: his fur & the patterns in it. twilight’s fur is not just one brown, its a mix of brown that kinda resembles that mix of yellow-orange found literally at dusk/twilight. 2: twilight is actually most solemn & quiet at the twilight hours. wild can tell that he’s a bit distance during this time as if he’s thinking about something or rather, something is on his mind. 3: the twili magic that causes him to warp is obiously very twilight-esque. aside from the legends passed down, wild would most likley recognise this as twilight magic -- especially when they find midna’s helmet. because it only confirms that the legends are true: that twilight magic exists & that twilight has something to deal with it. 4: the sheikah slate actually registers twilight as twilight instead of link -- even if he were to be in his human form, the piece of technology considers him as that. besides, if twilight were to ever transform ( mind you he probably wouldn’t unless forced to ), twilight would say that his name is twilight. 

does wild know that twilight is him but from another time? honestly, i don’t know.it’s up for debate. i probably could go either way to by honest, but i think my natural instinct is to say that no, wild does not realise that twilight is him but from another time. but that’s my 2 cents on the subject.

also: other names wild calls twilight is puppers, bud, & wolf/wolfie. twilight PREFERS twilight though, he feels a bit sentimental and happy when he’s called that. & it is ABSOLUTELY noticeable cause twilight will wag his tail when he is called twilight. don’t judge him.

more to come when i think of anything else.

[catvicddlm]

Grenetine D’Chessur

(Riku: So, yeah, as this blog deputy, it’s my job to introduce this girls to their respective fandom... Sorry for those who may find me unbearable, but this is how the blog works. Anyway, since D’Chessur here is the one who has the most complete paperwork, she’ll be first)

Name: Grenetine Dioica D'Chessur Manjary (though she mostly goes by Grenetine D’Chessur)

(Riku: Thankfully)

Name Meaning: Grenetine comes from grenetina (Gelatin). Dioica is meant to be the Pimenta dioica (Allspice).  Manjary= Mangiare (Italian)= Eat.

(Riku: What does D’Chessur stand for?)

(Grenetine: I thought it was obvious)

(Riku: Well, no)

(Grenetine: Then we’ll leave it for them to investigate!)

Nicknames: 

Greenie (family and Dahlia)

My Lady (Jolly and servants)

Strawberry Shortcake (Mudira)

Heartslabyul's Little Duchess or the Little Duchess (Reappina, Suha and several others)

(Riku: How original...)

(Grenetine: In my defense, you don’t get to chose how others nickname you)

Twisted from: The Duchess (Alice in Wonderland)

Affiliations:

D’Chessur family

Manjary family

Lilyaceae family

Night Raven Collage

Heartslabyul Dorm

Dormitory: Heartslabyul

Year: 2nd

Age: 17

Birthday: October 6th

Likes: Sweet treats, savoury foods, literature: poetry, novels, etc, puns, puzzles, getting references.

Dislikes: Bland foods, the noble court, people messing with her things, open endings, being called pig, being mocked for the curse.

Hobbies: Reading (especially mystery), writing in her diary, baking, playing the violin and the piano, gardening, anti-stalking: learning about other persons routine to avoid them (guess why)

(Riku: You need more original hobbies)

(Grenetine: And do you have better hobbies?)

(Riku: Touche)

Occupation:

Student

Competition judge (informal)

County heiress

Personality: 

Most of the time she’s a calm person that tries to be polite as much as she can. Truth be told, most of the time she comes off as rude. This is because most people only deal with her in class wich is...not the best. Grenetine is the type of person that thinks that is crucial for one to make things by themselves. So she not only rathers to work alone but also doesn’t offers a lot of help. She also is the type that takes very seriously responsabilities and duties... and she will always insist on them. She has a really strong determination. Always keeping a regal like posture.

The only exception is if she notices that the others are hopeless, in wich she’ll be more sweeter and helpful. Right now she has a soft spot for the “poor things” that are the Heartslabyul first years.

Those who talk to her outside academic situations see a different side: a more laidback girl who likes to have really long talks about anything. Some are even surprised of how easily she can change the topics. They also notice how she overanalyzes everything and how much she mutters. She’s a much more curious person and is willing to more things. This doesn’t mean she’ll do anything, she quickly realises when they are trying to take advantage of her.

Again, this is not easy to reach, so many consider appeal to the “duchess” as a last resort. This plus her cute looks gained her certain fame.

Alligment: Lawful Neutral

Skills:

Disappearance and appearance.

Hide presence and amplify presence.

Stunner spells.

Transformation spells.

Weapon summoning: The Pepper Grinder. This weapon has two forms: a hidden form that looks like a key and the other, the true form, a pepper grinder shaped gun. It also has three modes:

Non-lethal: the target weakens phisically but the proyectiles don’t actually harm them (they do hurt though)

Magic piercer: affects only to magical manifestations (force fields, magic levels, enchanted objects, etc). Magical beings can be harmed.

Lethal: self explanatory. Acts like a normal weapon but magical.

(Riku: I just checked a picture of this...You have a fucking machine gun?!)

(Grenetine: It is not a machine gun)

(Riku: It looks like a machine gun, it behaves like a machine gun, IT’S A FUCKING MACHINE GUN! How are you even allowed to summon this?!)

(Grenetine: A lady has her secrets)

Backstory: 

Grenetine was born as the second child from the duke D'Chessur and a noble lady from the infamous Manjary family. They have curse wich would turn them into pigs at some point of their life. Grenetine and her siblings knew from an early age what was coming for them as a lot of nobles excluded them, sometimes outright mocked, for “ruining” their family. She was the biggest target as she was the one that more resembled their mother (and also was very fat). 

Out of all her siblings, she was also the one that showed more magical potencial and more learning capacity. She was a very lonely child so she spent the time reading and developing a more analytical mind. 

One day, her grandmother, the last of the Lilyaceae line, decided to educate her to make her the heir to her county. During this time, Grenetine got fed up of the humilliations and decided to end the curse that ruined her life. 

She, along with her father, spent years finding several clues of the curse’s origins. Then, they discovered that all of them lead to Night Raven College. So when she recived an invitation from the institution, she didn’t think it twice.

Theme song: “Fairytale”- Alexander Rybak

Relationships within the dormitory:

Riddle: It’s complicated. He doesn’t like her very much due her noble status, but at the same time, he kinda wants the approval of an actual noble. He’s also annoyed by the fact that she spends zero time at the dorm yet somehow became quite popular. On the other hand, she avoids him as much as she can. She thinks he hates her guts and it reminds her too much to the court at home. Still tries to please him, she has better thing to do than to face the leader’s wrath.

Ace: Not friends but not total strangers. He likes her better when she’s sweet and willing to help, especially on school problems. She thinks he’s quite likable but doesn’t trust him too much. They usually have long conversations.

Deuce: Similar to Ace’s. They do bond a lot more due their similar interests. He’s impressed by her and is very curious about the whole curse investigation. She also prefers her on her sweeter side but understands and respects her work mood. This is why Grenetine prefers him a little more over Ace.

Trey: Just like the rest of the dorm, Grenetine trusts Trey as a deputy. Surprisingly, he seems to prefer her more serious side, as she’s one of the few that can get work done right. However, they do clash a lot, mostly due to her “stay out of the dorm troubles” policy. He’s one of the responsable to drag her back.

Cater: Also complicated. Cater likes to tease her everytime he gets the chance, wich she dislikes. Nevertheless, they actually enjoy each other company, as they surprisingly discuss more mature themes. Grenetine considers their interactions as necessary break. She allows herself to be sarcastic and intentionally rude with him. Along with Trey, Cater is the other responsable for bringing her back.

Jolly: Her cat companion, her family adopted him along with his siblings when Grenetine found the abandoned as kittens. Jolly is more than a mere pet for her, is a dear friend. She’ll constantly demand respect for him. She’s one of the few people who Jolly likes to talk to as she likes to listen him.

Relationships outside the dormitory:

Dahlia (another OC): They are bests friends. They met due to a similar interest in flowers and haven’t separated since then. Dahlia is one of the few who can influence her and usually dissuades her from her more unhealthy habits. Grenetine is one of the few who knows Dahlia’s complete backstory.

Idia: Even less than acquaintances. Since she’s friends with Dahlia, she has spent a lot of time at Ignihyde. He kinda reminds her of her older brother in personality. He thinks she talks too much but sometimes makes very interesting questions.

Chausiku (another OC): Not really friends but they get along and hang a lot together. Chausiku likes that Grenetine isn’t a princess like girl or a rich spoiled brat. Grenetine admires her determination but doesn’t share her goals. She also kinda wishes to have Chausiku’s imposing presence.

Ruggie: They have a relationship totally based on favors (Grenetine pays him to do some simple jobs for her, usually in form of either money or baked pastries). On ocasions, they have worked together to keep order. They interact mostly through Chausiku. Ruggie is actually disgusted of how insanely rich her family is, but doesn’t reject being paid. She thinks he’s competent enough and a little greedy but doesn’t blame him for that.

The Tension Quartet (again, OCs): Grenetine serves as some kind of judge for them. This often translates to keep them out of trouble. Even though they hang a lot, she mostly keeps herself professional.

(Riku: Take a shot for everytime “one of the...” appears.)

Phrase: "You can't spend a day doing nothing! There's always something to do"

[deepestuniversallove]

My Love Letter to Lotor

I have had way too many feelings for Lotor during the past few days, so I decided to put them into words and actually write out a love letter to Lotor in which I tell him why I love him so much.

It is written from the viewpoint of my Self-Insert

Dear Prince Lotor,

I know it is a bit unusual of me to write out my feelings like this, even if I used to just pour out my heart and soul into a diary in my younger years, but never targeted towards one single person. But my mind has been lingering lately on how to best describe my feelings for you, what the best way would be to let you know how much I love you.

I fell for you the moment that I laid my eyes on you - I don't know if by Galran standards, you are considered beautiful, but I can assure you that by human standards, you are one of the most beautiful men I have ever seen. Tall and svelte, your blue eyes in their beautiful diamond shape with your yellow sclera. Your snow-white long hair that looks so fluffy and soft that I want to touch it to confirm if it really feels the way it looks. I want to run my hand through it, maybe even braid it if you would allow me to. I would love to put a flower crown on your head, fit for the Prince that you are - and even more fitting considering your elven magnificence. Have you ever heard of elves, creatures of german myths from planet Earth? They were ascribed supernatural powers and abilities, and have ears much like you have. So to me, you are like a Space Elf. Or Space Prince. I always like to call you "my Space Prince" in my mind.

I know I have been waxing poetic about your outer beauty and wondering if it is only that which makes me love you. But no, it was just the first thing I have noticed about you. The more I got to know you, the more I fell for you over time for your inner beauty as well. I have tried not to, really. But I couldn't stop my feelings from growing ever larger for you, so it was a futile effort in the end.

I have seen your heart, your convictions. Your morals and your wishes. How you are demonized by most people who have never even gone through a fraction of the hardships you went through, and thus cannot possibly begin to understand where you come from and where you are going.

So many strangers who are just taking a look at you from the outside assume that you have a cold and calculating heart, but they are merely fooled by the steel that you had to forge for your own protection, to safeguard your warm and soft heart on the inside. What other choice did you have but to craft this barrier around your soul when you were abandoned and abused by your parents for a timespan longer than the existence of my species, Homo Sapiens? You had been born and raised by an alien species that lives by the mantra of "Victory or Death", which doesn't leave any room for weakness or softness. Or the open expression of warmth from your heart. And being punished for any such expression - so severely, your parents even killed an entire planet full of friends and places that you had fond memories of -  just reinforced the need to pretend that nothing affects you.

But Lotor...I can see that it does. You still long for warmth and connection. Somehow, through all the attempts of those who raised you and wanted you to become a cruel ruler as well, you have managed to keep the inner fire in your soul save. Many other people would have cracked under such pressure. Some of them would have become abusers themselves, bullies, people willing to indeed crush others underneath their heels. But you didn't. You still have so much COMPASSION within you. So much love to give. You care for people, for other alien races. You allowed conquered planets (that you were forced to conquer to not raise any suspicions from your empire) to still rule themselves as they always did. No one truly evil would do this.

But the point at which I knew how much you cared? When you protected an entire sector of space, with possibly billions of life forms, from being destroyed by a bomb that would have wiped them all out if detonated. You had JUST ESCAPED your father who was out to murder you, so no one would have faulted you if you had just stayed hidden. Heck, no one would have faulted you if you had just stayed in exile to fool around and live out your life in the luxury a Prince, even an exiled one, could expect.

But no - you didn't. You decided to walk the hard way, to do what is RIGHT! You knew that you would have to sacrifice so much, and yet you were willing to go down this road. You had to do so many things that must have not been very easy to do, decisions that you would come to regret later, and you knew it. You knew that to preserve the lives of millions, you would have to take the lives of a few - which is never easy for someone who has sworn to protect everyone. But you aren't deluded like most people who fancy themselves as "heroes" would be. For them it is easy to say that there must be a way with no victims, but both you and I know that this is war, and in war, someone innocent will always fall victim. And that the end goal thus should be to prevent the senseless murder of millions more.

My Space Prince, I admire you so much for the strength that you have to have to go through all of this. It is utterly beautiful and out of this world, and I cannot help but stare at you in awe whenever I remember this. You have the weight of the entire known universe on your shoulders, and yet never once complained about the burden that has been placed upon you. And by the Ancients, I wish I could help you lift this burden at least a little bit.

In my eyes, you are heroic as well. When you were beaten down by your father, at the end of your strength, and he wanted to kill the Paladins of Voltron, you jumped up to give him the final blow and end his life despite your own injuries. The moment you grabbed the nearest weapon, fueled by adrenaline, to rush and save them, I could see the light in your eyes, fueled by the fire of your determination.

This again, was a hard decision that you had to face. Even if you hated your father, I know that the child within you has still always wanted the approval of him - because children will always have some form of love for their parents, no matter if they cast aside their offspring and treat them in the most cruelest of ways. When I saw you after this fight, in shock, with no one there to comfort you, all I wanted to do was to hug you tightly and remind you that everything will be okay. That you don't need anyone's approval but your own.

And it is inspiring - that you extended a hand even to those who treated you in the most cruelest of ways. You saved their lives several times, yet they put you into extended solitary confinement and refused to help you in claiming the Galran throne for yourself. I for the life of me will never understand why they wouldn't help you - you didn't intent to gain the throne for your own gain or because you were power-hungry. No, you wanted it because it would put you in the position to end the war-like ways of your people. They had no reason to doubt your intentions, not after everything you have done for them, and I will never be fully able to forgive them for their treason. Least of all the Princess that you had hoped would have been better than she truly ended up being.

Lotor, my dearest Prince... how much have you longed for companionship, but suppressed that need for the greater good of the universe? How much have you dreamed to find the Princess that connects you to your Altean side, the Princess of Myths? Was it your hope that you and her would bring peace to the universe together, and right the wrongs of your fathers?

Lotor, I am so sorry that she didn't turn out the way you hoped she would be and I wished that she would have been just as you envisioned her. That she was unable to see all of your sacrifices and efforts. That she hated you simply because you were half-Galra, which is something that you weren't able to choose, because no one is. Otherwise, no babies would ever be born to cruel parents who will abuse them and break them in every way possible.

I must admit that I was jealous of her and that you were giving her so much attention. All of the soft looks that I wish you would give me instead. But all I ever have wanted was for you to be HAPPY, and if she was the right one for you, then I would step aside to let you be with her. I have resigned myself to giving up my feelings for you, told myself that I could at least still love you from afar, while every fiber of my being was burning for you.

My Prince, my Emperor... how much I yearn to hold your tall form in my arms! I want to know the warmth of your embrace, your arms around me, holding me tightly. I want to burry my head in the crook of your neck and inhale your comforting scent. I want to kiss you and know your taste. I want to bury my fingers into your snow-white soft locks as I press my forehead against yours, touching the tip of my nose with yours. I want to carress your face with my hand, make you smile and laugh. I want you to know that with me, you can be vulnerable, that you don't need the armor of steel to protect your heart when you are with me. Your secrets are safe with me, for I will sink them into the Ocean of my heart for no one else to find. You can trust me, and I would rather die than ever betray you. I want to be the one steady constant in your life, the one truth that will never yield. The one good thing in the universe for you.

Did the Princess ever feel the same way for you, I wonder? But perhaps you have just dreamed she would. And I don't fault you for that at all. Starved of all love from birth onwards, of course you would fall for the first person who would give you any positive attention - much less someone you have wanted to meet all your life. The Princess was a living symbol of the dreams that you always harbored but were forced to bury in this war. And so, seeing her, you had hoped that you might get your Happy End after all. The Prince and Princess, in love with each other until the end of your days. It rekindled your hope, and I loved how happy and relaxed this hope made you feel.

And then she betrayed you, willing to kill you in cold blood!

Oh, how much I wanted to END HER in that moment. I could feel my heart break for you when she accused you of being just like the father that you always hated. I could feel how shattered you were over this, pleading with her to please listen to you. It hurt. I heard the pain ring out in your voice, and all I wanted was to cradle you in my arms and protect you from this cruel universe that broke your heart over and over.

I couldn't bear the thought of losing you, or the thought that you deserved anything less than a happy ending. Never Death, oh no. The universe needs you alive, and you have always known this and yet... for love you risked to plead with the one who had wanted you dead on more than one occasion. Why else would she be so willing to hand you over to your murderous father so willingly even though you saved her and her friends? She had used you cruelly for her own gain to get even more magical powers thanks to you, and then proceeded to pervert the title of a "life-giver" to that of a "life-taker" - yet accused YOU of doing just what she had done to you. If anything, it was her who was more like Zarkon than you could ever be.

Lotor...I love you so much it hurts, and yet I am not entirely free of my own baggage. I know exactly how it is to be neglected and abused by your own parents, even if I only had to endure 3 decades of it compared to your 10 millennia, which to you must seem like a laughably short amount of time, but is already at least a third of my species' lifespan. I wonder if you have ever felt worthless in any way, like all that you did or ever attempted to do was for naught? I sure do, even now. I often wonder if my life has any meaning at all, if I can be useful to anyone in some way. When I was younger, I often wished I was dead. And even now, I am still convinced of my worthlessness. I often wonder if you would really love me or not, and more often than not, I am convinced that you would never - someone of your status could have anyone, and why would they ever fall for a lowly human like me who only seems to live for a second compared to your enormous lifespan?  

But at the same time, I know that those are meaningless technicalities. You wouldn't look at those even once; in a universe of betrayals, status means nothing, but love means everything to the one starving for this essence of life. So maybe, maybe you would give me a chance after all. Maybe you would love me back? Maybe those dark voices within me are nothing but evil liars, like a dark entity left over within me until it has drained me of my life energy and will to live.

Though the moment I saw you and got to know you, this fading will to live has returned a thousandfold. Seeing the determination, the fire in your eyes and the pride with which you hold your sword, your gaze focused on the outcome... you inspire me so much to try even harder myself, and for this I want to thank you.

I have seen how often to had to fight your own insecurities in this cruel world and game of life. I am much like you in this regard. When you stood up to your father in your final fight against him, or when you wanted to protect your first colony, or that one time when you stood up to your mother, not buying any of her lies that she cares for you in any capacity - in those moments I wish I had the courage to actually tell all of these things to my own parents as well. I too had to make hard choices in order to move forward in life, so I very well know the feeling of despair when a plan fails that you put so much energy and resources into. And like you, I also have wished for the approval of my parents for the longest time, hoping and wishing they would acknowledge me only to come to the conclusion that they never will, until their dying breath. So I always thought that I will stand alone in life, until you have proven me otherwise.

Lotor, to me you are the strongest and most beautiful being in the universe, and I count myself so lucky that destiny has deigned itself to let me find you in this truly vast plane of existence. I could have lived out my life stuck on Earth, never even knowing of you in the first place. That I was able to be in your presence, to be with you, is the greatest blessing I could have ever had. To me you shine brighter than the starlight of a million galaxies, and I wish with all my being to just be with you and stay by your side for the rest of my days.

I don't know if I will ever be able to put all of my feelings into words or if I will ever reveal the full extent of them to you. I guess I am much too fearful about you possibly rejecting me. But regardless of whether you will get to know of my true feelings for you or not, I will do everything in my power to lift the burden off your shoulders even a little bit. I will be someone you can always count on, whether as just a friend or a lover - it does not matter to me, as long as I can just be with you.

But I will continue to dream of you, always, of both your outer and inner beauty, my dearest Space Prince. In my dreams you will still appear, where I will be able to touch and kiss you, make you happy with my presence, and even become one with you in every sense of the word.

I will do what I can to see you smile and laugh and be happy, because your happiness is what matters the most to me. To me you are perfect, even with all your imperfections, even if the rest of the universe condemns your actions.

I will always love you unconditonally, no matter what the future holds in store for us.

With Love,

Your Monika

[ohpenelopes]

                    i mean i could be aesthetic but instead i'm just pathetic

ALISHA BOE? No, that’s actually PENELOPE “PENNY” BROWN-PATIL from the NEXT GENERATION ERA. You know, the child of LAVENDER BROWN and PARVATI PATIL? Only 21 years old, this HUFFLEPUFF alumni works as a BARISTA and is sided with THE NEUTRALS. SHE identifies as a CIS WOMAN and is a PUREBLOOD who is known to be SELF-PITYING, A PERFECTIONIST, and INSECURE but also FLEXIBLE, GENTLE and IMAGINATIVE. 

LINKS – pinboard, stats. CHARACTER PARALLELS – jackie burkhart ( that 70s show ), chloe gemell ( my mad fat diary ), mini mcguinness ( skins uk ), engel beekman ( skam nl ), cassie howard ( euphoria ), emaline ( everything sucks! ), gretchen wieners ( mean girls ), caroline forbes ( the vampire diaries -- earlier seasons ), kelly kapoor ( the office ) AESTHETIC – star shaped hoop earrings, drawing hearts all over your notes, needle pricked finger tips, unapologetic femininity, a loud and cheerful laugh echoing through a hallway, pinky promises, heart shaped sunglasses hiding hungover stained eyes, movie nights with popcorn and rose wine, drowning in the sea of your own thoughts HEADS UP – this intro has mentions of anxiety, but i’ve marked all of these with a trigger warning! <3

backstory ( 2008 - 2026 )

penny is born penelope lyra brown-patil --- penelope, for the woman who not only waited faithfully for her husband’s return for years, but who tricked many man in the process; lyra, for the constellation (because the stars are so wise) --- and as the second (and eventual middle) child to lavender and parvati

and she grows up happy. her childhood is peaceful and wonderful, filled with fun days and laughter. there’s not much out of the ordinary --- it’s stable and beautiful, and penny longs for those days quite a lot.

at some point, she learns of the things her parents went through at school, about war and rebellion and fear. penny admires her mothers more than anything --- she’s scared of this world, of this past, but she’s filled with admiration and a bit of fear that she won’t be able to live up to that. (she doesn’t have to, of course --- there’s no pressure or reason to, but still; she wonders about it, and she can’t shake the thought.)

anxiety tw | though life was stable and good, penny has always felt very uncertain about ... everything. insecurity has never been a stranger to her, nor has anxiety or pressure. she has high expectations of herself, expecting nothing short of the best --- and when she failed as a child (whether it was in playing quidditch on toy brooms or when drawing or when trying to sing perfectly), she would throw tantrums. she got help for this as a child after she had her first full-blown anxiety attack, but it never really faded. | end of tw

her interests as a child mostly range from princess stories to drawing elaborate things to cutting out pretty outfits from fashion magazines. she’s gentle and quiet and excitable when she wants to be, a whirlwind of pink and smiles and tangled long hair

at hogwarts, penny is sorted in hufflepuff (though the hat did consider ravenclaw) for her spirit. she doesn’t mind not being a gryffindor like her parents once were (or, at least, she doesn’t later on; at first it just seems like an affirmation that she’s not as brave as they are), likes how yellow compliments her eyes and fits in quite nicely among the puffs.

anxiety tw | teenagedom is a tough time for her. it seems like everyone is able to juggle it all, and then there’s penny: unable to keep up good grades and look pretty and have an exciting social life and have enough sleep. she feels like she’s drowning in all the expectations she has for herself, feels like she’s the only one on this world who is suffering (she’s prone to a woe is me mentality, for sure) and so hides it all behind perfectly curated smiles. her insecurity has always been strong, but it grows. she drowns them out by pretending. end of tw

in those years, she should be learning who she is, but in stead, penny learns how to be what others want. she shifts and shapes and bends herself to match others expectations --- she’s loud and funny and excitable among her peers, grinning widely and flipping her hair, appearing confident and extroverted and completely at ease. sometimes she’s quieter, a more gentle and softer being, lovely and quaint. she’s a model student (minus the amazing grades) to her teachers, a kind older housemate to the first years, a tough bitch when situations call for it. and sometimes it feels genuine, this person she’s showing off, and sometimes it all feels like a play. it depends, on her mood, on the role, on the weather, on the stars.

and you know what? it works. for most of the time. and then sometimes, it doesn’t, and there’s nothing to do but cry endless tears in her bed and be the most melodramatic person in the castle. alcohol tw | this happens when she’s drunk most of the time, to be honest --- penny is such a messy drunk. end of tw 

penny also developed a taste for fuckboys during this time. she wanted to feel loved, she wanted to be touched, to be desired, and part of her was desperate --- but that didn’t make it okay for guys to treat her that way, period. i would get into this more but i don’t feel comfy about doing that akdjssdf. 

when she turned fourteen, she got a sewing machine for her birthday. the next schoolyear, she dragged the thing behind her into the castle, unable to part from it after a summer of sewing. penny had always been interested in fashion, but now she was able to take it to the next level.

the dream to become a fashion designer grows and grows and grows, and penny is quite handy with the sewing machine, and her designs aren’t half bad, but of course it’s a stupid dream --- because penny doesn’t believe in herself, not yet at least.

post-graduation life ( 2026 - now )

penny graduated with one ambition only (see above) and no faith in herself. she became a barista, telling herself that she would work on her self esteem, that she would build herself up and become stronger and ready, that she would work on her portfolio and her design skills and that she would practice and work hard and ... that’s where she’s been for the past few years.

not much has changed, to be honest. penny still feels like that lost teenager, and in a certain sense she is --- she has just gained a slight bit of maturity, has moved out and has started working. her sense of self is still incredibly fragile, as is her self esteem, and while she’s trying to improve it, she just hasn’t found the right way to. 

she feels so stuck. she feels so frozen. she feels like she has no clue who the hell she is, and she doesn’t know what to do about changing that. another part of her doesn’t even want to be thinking about these things, and just wants to have some fun --- once penny graduated, she definitely started partying more sfksjdfhsdkjfh. party girls dont get hurt!!!!! and like, on one hand, that’s all completely fine, because this is the time for fun and self discovery, and who says you can’t do both? 

the timeclash kind of turned everything upside down. it did for everyone, i imagine, but that’s not really how penny sees it (woe is me! why does everything bad always happen to me!!). she’s so scared sakjdf. scared to see her parents and to be a Big Disappointment because she’s scared of the fact that there’s suddenly a war (like, what the fuck?), because she doesn’t want to fight, because she doesn’t even know how to fight!!! 

she’s a coward lmao, but a coward with Standards (lookin at you peter)

i mean, if it came down to it --- if she had to protect her friends or family --- she would fight, of course. she’s just not very good at combatical magic, or at strategy, or at anything war or rebellion-related, really (except for smuggling booze into hogwarts, i guess, but that’s something of the past). and that’s fine, if you ask me, but penny doesn’t think it is --- but that doesn’t mean she’s going to push herself to be braver or to do more

personality & details

jfc i rambled so much up there, time to get a bit more coherent up in this BITCH

penny is such a mess. i have a hard time talking about her sometimes because she’s so messy and because her mood and her energy fluctuate so much --- she can be high energy and extroverted one moment, and completely down and sad the other. 

did i ... project myself .... onto penny?     maybe. partly.

she’s a bit of a chameleon, really. she’s very adaptable and flexible and willing to change for the comfort of others, and she thus feels like she has a small sense of self. this is true, to a certain extent. i think she’s too focused on finding herself that she doesn’t see that she’s already found herself a little, that there are parts of her that are genuine. she’s so hard on herself, expects so much, she’s just ... completely blinded by her own doubts, tbh.

and she’s def a sad bitch and a messy bitch, but she’s so much fun. god. penny just loves laughing and being happy and doing fun and cute stuff! she likes good things! so much! she tries to be such an upbeat person and she can be and agh. i love her like that.

such a romantic. pls stop her. her idea of love makes her so blind and deaf and she always falls for dumb boys :( but skfjshdf she just loves romance! and romantic comedies! and romance novels (tho she struggles to focus on books properly, ngl) and just ... pink hearts and all that fuzzy stuff

when she got her job as a barista, all she thought was that it might just bring her the perfect coffee shop romance

she’s an idiot

she usually just goes by penny, but not because she dislikes the name penelope --- she thinks it’s a really neat name, to be honest (a bit poetic and mysterious), but penny has just been her nickname for so long that she doesn’t want to make people call her penelope. BUT she does want to be referred to as penelope when she gets famous, thank you very much.

regarding that: penny wants to be famous dskfjhdsf. a famous designer, of course --- but she just likes the idea of fame altogether as well!!! 

she takes that dream and ambition seriously, in a way. she plans to take serious steps soon (but she’s been saying that for years), always waiting until she feels ready to put herself out there. the idea of being rejected is just ... massive. the idea of not succeeding, of flopping, is so terrifying, that she prefers sticking with her dead-end job, for now. she has been sewing a lot after graduation, and i imagine she constructs a fair amount of her outfits herself (and does the same for friends), but that’s it, and she’s such a Coward about it

when she buys fashion magazines, she always gets two copies so she can use one for cutouts so she can make collages and moodboards

aEsThEtIc QuEeN!!!!

no really though, she has such a good sense for aesthetics. knows what colours and fabrics and prints mesh well together, always looks on Point, etcetera. 

idk what to say this intro is such a gd mess bc i wrote everything from scratch and i kept changing my mind about things and while penny is a Very old muse, i changed a LOT oops!!! 

[tacosandtomcos]

The Book Of Spells, Spoiler Review, part 4

and here we are at the homestretch.

last three queens

at the end will be bonus things i noticed and thoughts, as well as a sum of the whole book and my opinion on the whole thing-

Comet

Apparently Toffee was a prince? Also when do queens get their poems? cause if it’s after death that honestly sucks that comet is especially remembered for being murdered.

Wand crystal was a baker’s quartz, it’s impervious to high temperature. The handle is a rolling dowel from special oak and her want is charged with pantry crystals, pink or lavender ones.

she was gloss’s favorite.

The last millhorse retired, so now we have one called pumpkin.

Nod to star believing in the grandma farm.

Continuity error : Estrella gave comet brown eyes like her husband, but she’s shown here with purple eyes.

Comet put off getting this book and her wand for a long time, she clearly wasn’t eager on being queen. Also mewni raised their eyebrows a lot at her and mom, not to mention her choices.

she just wanted this chapter to be helpful for future queens, didn’t want this to be some diary or historical record. Hoped moon would find comfort in her experiences.

she’s the first princess ever to have been married and had a daughter before her coronation.

To sum her life up in her words, her mom’s an artist, she chased food and love through the dimensions, and loved it. Got overfed for a bit, got married, and got pregnant, and then ended up divorced.

she refers to her daughter as her sweet baby princess.

moon’s “let you go” saying is said here.

But now she’s back to accept her fate once her mom decides she’s ready. Though she’s gonna do it her way, from the kitchen.

doesn’t want to be burdened with the monster conflict, she sees the only real difference between them is how they savor food. If you’re critical of the monsters but don’t sit down to enjoy a meal, how are you different then them?

She and her mom feel asleep numerous times when the mhc sent them in to talk battle strategy about the monsters and the losses and decide what to do. She found herself slouched like a rag doll one time because of her hoop skirt. The mhc were still arguing when she woke though. She left to go make pies for the generals and mhc and that solved that as they feel asleep and slept for four days after a lot of eating. They didn’t show up for the battle in the end. The monsters were left hanging for a day and a half.

her mom pretended to be disappointed with her, but she honestly thought it was artful thinking and from now on decided to give them food every time they had meetings like this.

Then comet starts with recipes, first pie. Pir is first because though skywynne’s food raining was good, it wasn’t a satisfying meal shared with others. Comet has a gift for pies, starting with the red solanaceae pie (Her grandma’s favorite fruit).

  What follows is her recipe, with some notes from star. (She also raosts her bad marriage a bit). Mewmans have their own words for sugar, salt, butter, ect. 

Apparently one time after the monsters ate all their food, their pies were filled with sawdust and sandal straps.

She decorates her pies by making shapes with bits of dough, which also helped star tie her shoes.

She left crust scraps for gloss to eat.

The turnover to make comet queen was quiet and unremarkable, just how estrella wanted it, as she hated attention and she had more time to draw now. She probably wasn’t coming back.

Her first act as queen, was arranging a banquet hosting the monster king, archduke batwin (Someone we see in moon’s flashback). It would grand as though it were the spiderbites or lucitors.

she also asked to be painted with him and have those portraits send everywhere. she even had a songstrel competition to make a song for the peaceful union, winner has his song performed by moon for the feast.

She knew it was uncalled for, no queen has done something like this before. But she still wanted to do it and even served a special pie she only made once a year for this occasion. The pie was originally named after mewnipendence day, but comet changed it to be “peace day pie”, it’s new name for as long as they were allies with the monsters.

The mhc were still worried about seth and his septarian rebellion. But she saw her way as the true path to the future and she’d even consider inviting him to eat pie with them.

The red solanceae are tomatoes basically. it’s pie is basically vegetable pie.

As far as spells go she has a super disarming spell, and can summon a bunch of cranes to literally just take enemies away. These are her only two spells too, she basically just wanted you to disarm them, remove them, then go eat.

Seth’s invitation went unanswered.

Batwin is so much more gentle then the avariuses were, she kinda worried he may be too soft for his role. For him to stand up to seth he was going to need more grit. 

Seth, despite his age, and old ways, inspires alot of younger septarians (Rasticore and Toffee being two of them), this was concerning for her.

that was her final entry, she never even got to write gloss’s favorite pie, her pudding pie.

So that’s comet, and i think she’s nice for what she is. She was one of the more understanding and kinder queens that got to rule and actually did want to make peace with the monsters despite her ancestors.

her pies also look great.

her attempts to work things out peacefully is a nice change, you can’t say much bad about her and she loved moon alot. they clearly were very close.

Shame we won’t get to meet her in the show itself.

Moon

her wand’s crystal is from the crystal dimension and it’s almost indestructible.

River got her a columbrian crystal collection as an engagement present. Something to match her wand.

apparently some creepy hermit carved her spoon of the wand, and he lived in a crystal dimension cave for most of his life. He only made three of those spoons in his life. Because it takes a quarter of his life to make one, which is based on the person’s actual life span. Also the crystal can tell you when you will dies from your sweat. The wand is also great for grapefruit sectioning.

millhorse pumpkin returns, apparently festivia’s horse sired him. Also he likes lil chauncey. Without millhorses, the queens would be at a disadvantage.

The snakewood handle is not found in mewni, only other time it’s been found was in pixeltopia when two pixes found it and eventually gave to hekapoo as a gift.

Moon marked her pages so there was clear establishment which ones were before comet died, and after. Tells river not to blame her, she wasn’t ready to be queen when this happened after all.

River’s optimism and cheer made her being queen easier for her.

Moon was a little worried when her mom handed her this book, saying she was ready, but her mom reassured her she was just taking the steps needed to be queen.

Her mom took her on a tour of their military, and though moon was nervous her mom reassured her this was all to show their might. The johansens were here to be reinforcements.

River’s dad is named Bloxq (?????)

Moon thinks river is very sweet by this point but lacking in the gruffness of his family.

Moon actually read ALL the other chapters of the other queens. She really enjoyed skywynne’s.

All her entries are in a letter format to whoever may be reading this.

she just got little chaucy, her new pet, and her mom promised to make pies in celebration. Moon loves that about her, how selfless she is.

chauney is smart, well mannered , loyal, and he eats everything. He’s also sweet and likes cuddling.

She picked him out of the batch because he walked over and nuzzled her hand, then she looked into his eyes and just knew.

Chauncey was a birthday gift, moon’s seventeenth birthday.

Her relationship with Chauncey is really cute, the photos are precious.

moon sometimes calls her mom, “Mummy”.

moon basically thought chauncey has brain-powers. but was surprised when he could speak with her millhorse telepathically. They became best friends.

Moon eventually got too busy helping run the kingdom to spend a ton of time with her pet, but was supportive of him finding a friend. She trusts them with her life.

Now we get to the after death section, moon says not to judge her for her hard choices during these times.

She has a poem with a mourning wreath made from her mom’s hair.

Moon spends the next few pages with angst and sadness about being queen. The mhc wanted war but moon didn’t know what she wanted.

Moon wasn’t allowed to wear anything that didn’t show her grief, had to throw a lot of clothes away.

She mentions she met eclipsa, kept her anonymous though.

Her choice to just remove the finger was on purpose, just to keep eclipsa imprisoned and still drive off the monsters.

She started learning to dip down so she didn’t face the same fate as her mom, she needed her magic to be stronger.

She has an entry about boys, but doesn’t want to worry about dating till the grief is over, which apparently is two years later. She doesn't think river is really perfect as a queen’s companion, but that he does make her laugh, which she needed. She thinks his family can be painful though.

count mildew makes her stress out way more just by being next to him.

glossy is still crying and hasn’t eaten anything with corn in it for three weeks. he’s also not being helpful with her studies at all. Though her grief is also not helping her magic.

There’s a cut out of her marriage with river from a mewni paper. All the prominent royal families attended. Mina gave her away and lekmet. Moon wore a family heirloom dress and river ate so much he passed out before the reception ended.

Her dad was an estranged chef called lazlo marmalade, he didn’t attend the wedding.

Moon found it important to maintain propriety, and loves her fancy blue wings. Apparently she can taste things with her additional hands, which is why she wears gloves. 

Her battle tiara has healing properties.

Her armor is from the crystal dimension, also almost indestructible.

she has a spell on turning your wand into a neon whip, her spells are more complicated then other queen’s for simple acts.

has a spell for her wand becoming a light sword.

Advices you to remember a counter spell for these and every spell you use.

she has a spell to make the royal bed. To encourage river to do more chores. Though it kinda seems more like a trick and she never needs a spell to reverse it.

River made the bed on rare occasion, last time he did so was when star was born, and that was only because she and star cried because the bottle he gave her was too hot.

Moon gave star a message telling her to enjoy the book, respect gloss, and don’t read eclipsa’s chapter.

So that’s what we got on moon

Her chapter wasn’t hugely informative, more....cute. It was less about lore and a little more about her as a character and her relationships with other characters more then anything.

Which is fine by me, i was satisfied with that and i find alot of this rather sweet. How she speaks of everyone drips of cuteness.

Star

star has almost nothing to say on her first wand other then it’s purple, gloss tells us it’s amberized starglass.

Star got pumpkin (Welp, he’s gonna die)

So the way they made up for star’s birthday in the first episode is because that is legitimately not her real birthday, they just celebrate it on a different day. (Wow, the tom and marco fight in Stump Day just got MORE pointless).

Star skimmed all the chapters that weren’t skywynne’s.

Star rambles on for a bit about writing in the book. And she started somewhere based on a story where she complained to gloss what she should write.

The pigeon kingdom just became a kingdom and this silver ball was about welcoming them. Ponyhead didn’t come cause she was on a trip. Her parents have been vague about the situation. but it seems the pigeons took over mukwald manor...while the muwalds were still living there. You can guess what happened.

Star was happy to go cause she got to meet tom! Whose name she spelt wrong (tomas). I mean unless his parents really did spell it that way.

He’s a “Hot demon with a swimmer’s body”. but they honestly had alot to talk about, she knows there’s something kinda there between them even if she’s not sure what exactly. Tom asked her to lava lake beach’s boardwalk for cornshakes.  (So despite the fact they met years ago at this ball, the book makes it sound like it was recent? Which is another continuity issue? Star does phrase this like she had been to other silver bell balls before but somehow didn’t meet tom before this? What?).

She had a great time on her date with tom despite the melted shakes, and she got her horned headbands on the boardwalk. So her horns are a token of their first date. Star didn’t want to wear them so much cause she didn’t want people thinking she now wanted to be a demon....but..we know she wears them all the time. She and tom promised to hang out again soon.

Tobitt is some cyclops who goes through their cornbins, getting through all their defenses. He’s also now a swear word because they hate him so much. Also river made a sport out of battling him and sending him off, which moon kinda hates. But star carried on that tradition, saying it’s good to inherit your folk’s hatred.

a few photos of her and tom are in here, they’re cute. I guess tom hasn’t really done a ton in photo booths before cause star seems to show him how to do it.

she and tom hung out for weeks before they dated, they went to climb trees to look into nests and pick tree slime from their hair. Apparently they have fun kinda doing anything together. 

Apparently anger issues are now a universal problem for all demons instead of being something tom just has. They even have a center in the underworld for life coaching on this.

Pony dated a demon before, warned star, and gave her this cheesy pamphlet on dating them, tom thought it was hilarious. 

Wow demons get the shaft in here, the guide acts like no one with any sense would date one.

Apparently demons are always angry because they live in a state of constant burning. Tom’s marks are probably mascara because demons put a LOT of time into face make-up and the book tells you should compliment the time he spent into his makeup because demons like to “beautify” themselves. Also demon boys are close with their mamas and tell them everything, so respect that relationship. Also demon moms are protective and have a ton of sway in what their son’s do.

The book does tell you to remind yourself his anger isn’t your problem, and when he’s upset, let him know he’s being a jerk, but he supportive too. Don’t be accusatory, ask about his needs too.

Tom and her broke up now, the details aren’t made apparent though except they had a fight. Star fought tobitt to cool down and burned a village down.

star is now gonna get sent to earth, a place with no distractions to train. Moon thought star might end up like soupina.

There’s some stuff on earth that if you’ve seen the show you should kinda already know, she goes to school, lives with marco, yep. She thought it was nice to take some time from tom and cool off. Tom did come to her going away party though.

Star has a few pages on earth things that excite her and what she thinks they are.

her chapter on marco is in here, but i’m sure everyone already was aware of that. Star pretended she didn’t get earth for marco’s sake She thinks they connect in a cool way since marco kinda embraces how everything sucks bascially. Blabs on about how she can have a friend that’s not a boyfriend. (They kinda seem to imply she had a crush REALLY early in season 1 because of this, i’ll get back to that.)

mentions events of early season 1 episodes, apparently tom had the “Perfect failure of a date” in bmb.

has a page on her second wand. Cleaved amberised starglass. Not too much to note here.

her last entry was on bon bon before she lost the book and that’s it.

And that’s star for ya. It’s kinda hard to go into much considering she’s the main character and this chapter is mostly stuff we knew, the exciting parts are mostly the pre-earth stuff since it gives us more details on things we didn’t get before.

Her stuff with tom is cute, but i can’t say too much else. I’m more distracted by some continuity errors in this one specifically.

Also i hate stump day for a few reasons, but now marco just kinda seems more like a jerk for attacking tom since we’ve now established this wasn’t the day star celebrated her birthday anyway.

Based on the placement of where she talks about liking marco, she liked him before the SECOND EPISODE of the show. And since they hung out for like...very little by that point, i can’t help but feel that takes a little away from their friendship? It kinda makes it seem less like they connected as friends, and more like another crush star just started hanging out with who became another friend.

and even if it weren’t before the second ep if you assumed the photos from it were pasted in later, it’s an entry that’s STILL before the the events of mewberty, which was episode number eleven. So it’s still oddly early to have star gain feelings for her friend, as marco and her hadn’t gotten super close yet.

not my fav chapter, though i did think the demon dating pamphlet was actually really funny.

After this is where ludo tried to write spells, badly and where gloss wants you to write your own chapter, and that’s the rest of the book.

Overview and thoughts:

The kings are sure given the shaft in this book,  half the time they feel like walking baby makers. Having a king is apparently not a requirement, as long as you have a baby to carry out the line. XD 

I’m kinda sad there wasn’t a ton of spells for some of these queens, or even really any look into some of the stuff going on outside of the kingdom

Some chapters were great and fun to learn, other’s were kinda lacking and left me more questions then answers. There were some really funny visuals though.

What happened to mina’s mind? Seth? Will we get more on these in the show? I hope so, because some of these things should be explained in the show for other things to make sense.

SO many continuity errors, SO many.

In the end, i still think it’s a fun read if you REALLY like the show and it’s world, it has a bunch of backstory in places where it was needed and allows you to have a fuller view mewni REALLY needed.

I think it depends on you if you’ll like it or not, if you were expecting a diary on the queens personas and lore, this is more for you, if you wanted spells or insight on the other kingdoms......maybe not so much.

I still had a good time despite everything, though it is not a perfect book and i think it might have been pushed back for some rewrites. The cards in the book had some slight changes that make me think so.

Not a bad book, but it has kinks to work out and could’ve used more then it was giving.

7/10

[thesffcorner]

Prince Charming

Prince Charming (formerly called Royals) is a contemporary romance written by Rachel Hawkins. It follows Daisy, a 16 year old girl from Florida who works at a supermarket and only wants to spend the summer planning a fun trip to Key West to a convention with her best friend Isabella. However, her plans are swiftly ruined, when her older sister Ellie, arrives at her family house to tell her that she’s getting engaged; and her boyfriend is none other than the Crown Prince of Scotland. Before I say anything about this book, I need to point out that I’m a die hard fan of The Princess Diaries series. I mean that in the most sincere way; I love those books, I love the ridiculous plots, Mia’s character, and especially the humor. And if this book reminded me of anything, it’s The Princess Diaries. Rachel Hawkins wrote the Rebel Belle series, which I briefly entertained the idea of reading, and I’ve heard has a similar tone to this, which is intensely funny and utterly ridiculous. If you had told me that there is any slim chance in heaven that the crown prince of any monarchy, especially England would be allowed to marry a commoner from a title-less family, a foreign national no less, I would have laughed at the wish fulfillment. However, in a post Meghan Markle world, the ridiculousness of the premise is much diminished, and it’s hard to read this book as anything other than Hawkins’ fanfic about the royal wedding. Luckily, we don’t follow the Meghan stand in; we follow Daisy, Ellie’s younger sister. Daisy was honestly the best character in this book: she is sarcastic, has a quirky sense of humor, she is intensely snarky, and oftentimes dives in an active volcano for the joke, which as a fellow big mouthed idiot I can highly appreciate. She’s probably the character I have related to most in any novel, save perhaps Mia Thermopolis, and she made this utterly dumb premise work for me in a way I doubt any other character could. She was just a character that felt very human: she has flaws, she has insecurities and issues with feeling jealous, left out and like she comes in second, but she also was willing to and did stand up for herself, didn’t allow herself to be corrupted or seduced into a world she didn’t like, and stayed very genuine to herself, which I appreciated. It also helped that Daisy didn’t really like the royal family or royal life in general. I am not American; I grew up in Europe, in a formerly socialist country, that hasn’t had a King since the 11th century. We don’t care much about or like royalty here, so I never understood the American fascination with European, especially British royalty. There are so many things the crown has done that are horrendous, they are a massive drain on the British economy, their policies and rules for the conduct and livelihood of the family are archaic, classist and generally unappealing, so I was very happy to see Daisy push back against it. She’s still impressed at the lavish castles, mansions, palaces and general opulence, but she’s doesn’t go through the typical arc of being enchanted and then disillusioned by the family, which I really liked. She doesn’t go as far as Mia to criticize the entire socio-political existence of the crown family, but she does come into conflict with their lifestyle more than once, and she makes good points against it. The other thing I really appreciated and liked about this book, was how it showed that this family was, well, a family of people. Alex, the crown prince and Ellie’s fiance was the only one who lacked personality other than being nice, but all the other characters we meet were flawed and had their own host of issues and quirks. There are two separate queer romances which I greatly appreciated, since both are shown to be healthy and happy, even though with one of them, it’s still clear the family doesn’t approve. This was also one of the few times I actually enjoyed the trope of an American character being scandalized by the amount of alcohol European teens consume, since Sebastian, the younger of the princes has a tendency to over-drink. The relationship between Ellie and Daisy was interesting, and I honestly wish it was explored more. I enjoyed that both sisters had a lot of growing to do, even though for 90% of the book I was entirely on Daisy’s side. I didn’t like Ellie; she was stuck up, boring and utterly too perfect, and I don’t have much sympathy for characters who are willing to walk all over themselves and their families to achieve some status or fame. I did find the romance between Ellie and Alex dull, which was acceptable, because it wasn’t the focus, but I just needed a stronger motivation for Ellie to be the way she was, since I didn’t get this great love she and Alex had. The amount of things Daisy is expected to give up on and uproot her entire life was honestly a bit too much. Yes, I know most people would give an arm and a leg to be around royalty, but Daisy didn’t want to do that, and it was completely unfair and unreasonable of Ellie to demand and blackmail her into doing it, just because of her happiness and her wedding. I liked that Ellie realized that eventually, but I just wish we had more scenes of the two interacting without snapping at each-other constantly, so the realization could land better. As for the romance, I thought it was cute and a nice subversion of the expectations I had going in. There were a lot of elements to the romance borrowed from other films and book, most notably Pride and Prejudice and My Fair Lady. The love interest has almost the exact character arc that Mr. Darcy does; he’s at first hostile and outright rude, accuses Daisy and her family of being gold diggers, realizes his mistakes, and then becomes a Henry Higgins type character, with a bit of the fake dating sprinkled in there. I thought the way the romance developed was cute, I could definitely see why and how both sides came to like the other, and I thought the banter was very funny. Speaking of banter, this book is really funny! I laughed out loud multiple times, and I even saved several quotes because they were ridiculous. I will share two here that I thought were especially funny; if nothing else, I now want to read Rebel Belle just because of Rachel Hawkins sense of humor. ”He’s tall, his entire upper body is so perfectly v-shaped, that I think geese probably study him to get their flight formation just right [...]” pg. 66 ””Your hat is lovely” I tell the woman, giving her my sweetest smile. “I’m sure Big Bird’s sacrifice was worth it.”” pg. 110 I am still genuinely surprised at how much I enjoyed this book. I know this review was a bit different than my usual ones, but that’s honestly because I think you should just read it. It’s short, it’s funny and it’s utterly ridiculous, and if you like these types of books and plots you will definitely like it. I can’t wait to see the shenanigans of the sequel.

goodreads

[theoriesontheory]

The Making of - ‘Disney’s Hyperfantasia’ - Sal Viejo

How do you (or I) write a cathartic song? The more I look at this question the more it becomes increasingly simple and complicated in my mind. On one hand, I know how to do it. I’ve done it for three years as Sal Viejo, listened to cathartic music from other bands and watched performances that sent waves of catharsis through the room. You just do it. On the other hand, saying “you (or I) just do it” is an answer that is unsatisfying, and I know that there have been times where I have been unable to write a cathartic song where the advice “just do it” would have sent me into a rage. So, I decided to write a cathartic song, as I have done before but this time, using autoethnographic research methods, explore my process not only documenting what I was doing but reflecting on the parts of my real life that went into the song.

Catharsis as a feeling is difficult to define, especially from an academic perspective. An interesting note from some of my reading into music therapy is that the music we listen to shapes our lives and experience. (Barnes, 2013) Continuing from this idea, Barnes points out a case where a neuropsychologist was struggling down the side of a mountain with a broken leg and eleviated some of the mental strain and pain by focusing on a song. (ibid.) Looking specifically for references to catharsis I found an explanation of the phenomenon in a film text, “Catharsis is Aristotle’s term for the experience of audiences at the end of tragedy – overwhelming feelings of sorrow, pity, or some other strong emotions caused by the representation of tragic and piteous events… Aristotle and most of his commentators agree that catharsis, whatever it is, occurs to the beneficial effect of the audience.” (Plantinga, 2009) I feel that mainstream media has changed the meaning of the cathartic experience, in that rather than leaving stories on tragic endings, the trend is to send the crowd home happy. There has been a trend in media to end stories on more tragic notes recently, in my view closer to how things end in real life, Breaking Bad is a great recent example. Tying the two ideas together now, when looking for information on catharsis through music, there proved to be some gaps in the literature. There are discussions of how works have been performed in contexts that have made them cathartic, (Ansari, 2013) how communities use musicking to cope with their economic and social stresses (Stamatis, 2015) and even how music is being used in physiotherapy sessions, showing the role of psychology in pain treatment and management. (le Roux, 1998) My approach to this question hinges on creating a song that provides some level of catharsis, either for me or the listener. Despite my reading, coming to a clear and understood definition of catharsis seems difficult and thus, I think it makes sense to g to the original, Aristotelian definition as provided by Plantinga, overwhelming feelings at the end of a tragedy.

My understanding of autoethnography as a research method comes from some time considering it in the course of my honours and masters study up to this point. One of the core elements that draws me to it is my understanding that at the core of the research is the individual and their creative work (in the context of creative autoethnographic projects). Adams, Jones and Elis describe autoethnography as practice that; uses a researchers personal experience in describing and critiquing culture, acknowledges and values the reasearchers relationships, uses reflexivity – reflecting on the way the individual interacts with the world, shows “people in the process of figuring out what to do, how to live, and the meaning of their struggles”, balances emotional and intellectual work and strives to make the world better. (2014)

I was inspired to write in this way by David Carless whose paper Throughness was the first autoethnographic study of song writing that I came across. In reviewing the literature there were many papers focused on performance or composition of art music pieces but when looking for contemporary song writing used as autoethnography the field was sparse. In this paper Carless asks many of the same questions I face myself,

“How do we write songs as qualitative research? What kinds of processes matter when writing a song? What can we do to support and nurture these processes? What might we draw upon when writing songs about our own or another’s life? And how is it that culture, politics and personal biography can become so powerfully entwined in a song?” (2018)

In answering these questions Carless submits a series of Diary entries that they call a story that details the specific moments where the creation of the song was happening as well as their personal reflection on their own song writing process. In a similar way, I have been drawing from a journal I use specifically to write thoughts I have when I am in a negative mental headspace for lyrics and ideas and building songs up around them. Unlike Carless’ work, I will be covering not only the song writing process but also the process of cutting together a demo version of the song for release on Bandcamp. In putting together my story I will be including transcriptions of events based on my personal notes and my memory, images from my journal and other writing and personal reflections, some of which will touch on themes of self-harm, depression, and suicide. Please read in a safe mental place and look after yourself. If you need help, please seek it:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 Beyond Blue: 1300224636 Suicide Call Bank Service 1300659467 Process: In late July of 2021 I found myself experimenting with chords in open D after having uploaded a cover of Hot Mulligan’s I Fell in Love with Princess Peach. Open D feels like such a powerful tuning, so easy to get big brash sounds. I have been avoiding writing in alternate tunings because the idea of tuning on stage stresses me out, but I have a show coming up and want to play that Hot Mulligan cover to impress someone I think might be there so to justify the tuning I figured I would try and write another song using it.

I always have way more chords or instrumental parts for songs before I have lyrics. I find that I will often even have a vague melody line that I can hum or make random syllables around while I play the parts on my guitar. I have been trying to just say the first thing that comes to mind, trusting the part of my brain that knows what good lyrics sound like to figure something out under pressure, but I have found this process works best with some stimulation.

My mental health is something I have struggled with, largely in silence for my life, since probably my mid to late teens. I was on medication for a while, it didn’t go so well (see twelve) and since then have been trying to come to terms with my mental health through mindfulness, mediation, and introspection. PLEASE NOTE I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL AND DO NOT ADVISE THIS. GO AND SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP BEFORE UNDERTAKING ANY CHANGES TO MEDICATION OR TREATMENT. One way I have done this is by having a specific journal to write in on nights where I feel I am having particularly negative thoughts, the idea being that when I have these thoughts, I find they tend to circulate inside my head and writing them down is a way that I can get them out of my head. Additionally, it allows me to go back and reflect on the patterns of thinking and try and figure out where they come from. On one night, I’m going to guess late June, early July based on my memory I was having negative thoughts that led me to write down this across two pages

Transcription: Im sick of all my friends being worried.

No matter how hard I try I can’t see what comes next Static the cards the stars everything Static

I wish I could still dream, maybe I could if there was a future to see

Why do I keep seeing myself in a carcrash?

When I drive around at night I think about driving into the side of the road. Not really thinking about it but it just happening. I feel Like I’ve done it. I feel like I am doing it. It’s beautiful, its silent. I am calm. No more thinking.

I DON’T WANT TO DIE YET (the word “breathe” is written five times through the lines underneath the statement)

One day at a time -Next Page- (a crude single line drawing of a sunset over an ocean above the margin)

I clearly need to go talk to someone

Most of the time i feel like I look normal –

Everyone is suffering, its easier to pretend Its harder to tell the people you love youreinpainbecausetheycant… (I can’t read what I wrote) Head feels like static

Trying to fill the noise Beniah knows too

Amy asked if I was doing ok I said yes I don’t think she believes me anymore I hate the Look in their Eyes when they See me Everyone knows youre sick Can’t have them know… (I can’t read what I wrote) I think Im doing ok now

I feel like I am good at adjusting to how I feel. Didn’t go for a drive

Remembering parts of this night I know that I didn’t write all of this at once. The first page was written largely at the same time, the second page in bursts, idea by idea, sometimes writing new ideas in and around older ones, writing more frantically. I feel like there are two stories being told here, on the first page, an internal negative feeling, I have never told anyone about the car thing until releasing this song. The second page, the negative feelings growing and being self-aware about wanting to appear ok around my friends and housemates and feeling that pressure.

So now I had a couple of pages of personal emotional outpourings, some chords that I like the sound of and a quest to make a song cathartic. More important to me than how cathartic the song is, as with all my song writing, is that it was honest so in sorting through my scribblings I wanted to put together an accurate representation of my mind at the time. I first jotted down what felt like the most unique imagery to me, the false memories of being in a car crash and coming to terms with that. I am not sure what it means, but it is scary at times. I thought that because it is such a unique experience that detailing might be an interesting part of the song and thus the pre-chorus and chorus were put together. I had the melody of the chorus on a voice memo on my phone when working on the guitar part and I remember thinking to myself, for such happy chords the melody was lending itself to something almost being howled out, it felt like a question almost. After I had written the pre-chorus and chorus the next thing that felt natural to do was to frame the response to that statement which is the second verse. Reflecting on the pages, a lot of my worries on the second page seemed focused on how my friends and the ones I care about perceive me. I think this is a common feeling for people who struggle with their mental health and something that I am less concerned with when I am not in a negative mental space. The lyricism in the second verse is intentionally a little frantic, I wanted it to mimic in a small way how my mind can jump from idea to idea. I always find opening songs difficult; I think it’s important as a songwriter to have an impactful first few lines, especially in a song that is being made with the intent of an emotional experience in listening to it. I decided to borrow the writing style from some of my favourite US mid-western emo bands who often frame difficult to swallow truths in upbeat melodic phrasing and whimsical turns of phrase. A quite extreme example can be heard on The Front Bottoms’ “Father” which opens with some quite graphic imagery and is about the lead singers strained and complex relationship with his father, but I have seen people cheer and sing and dance along when the song is played live. And so, I decided to be very honest about the background of the feelings, maintaining some semblance of the narrative that I am ok while showing really that I am not, heading into the pre-chorus. The bridge was the last section to come together, both musically and lyrically. The rest of the piece was pretty much put together and being fine polished as far as vocal phrase lengths and how I would play the guitar part. The lyrics for the bridge started as what could have been a verse, describing the images but I decided that the pre-chorus was a more functional way of doing that, introducing the idea in a semi-palatable way. I knew I would close the song with the bridge (potentially put a chorus at the end) and decided to add some weight to the end of the work, almost like a Shakespearian tragedy, everyone dies at the end. I don’t think I make it feel like there is death at the end of the piece but the way I stack the layers of the pre-chorus and bridge sections before cutting right at the end to the first line of the pre-chorus was designed to add to the emotional impact at the end. Initially the guitar part for the bridge was more complex, I wanted to try and show that I was a good guitar player and had been practicing. This led me to retuning the guitar to Open D to come up with a pretty and impressive riff. I had a few ideas but in the context of playing solo and recording a demo I want the core guitar part, the part I play, to be something that I can do while I sing and give an overall engaged performance, which I’m not quite good enough to do with impressive guitar bits yet.

Lyrics: I feel well adjusted, sometimes I feel fine, or I lie which I know I shouldn’t do to my friends But we all pretend, because it’s easier than admitting how scared we are Have I told you about the weird thing that happened the other night in my car?

I’ve been seeing pictures, almost like memories in my head Of me losing control, on the free way And it plays in slow motion And the strangest thing about it to me always is

I don’t scream I don’t scream

I know I worry you, I’m worried too don’t think I want to die yet Look at the sunset, take a deep breath, hold on for one more day I’m ok, that’s what I say but I don’t think you believe me Static on the TV, looks like my tea leaves, Don’t worry about me

I’ve been seeing pictures, almost like memories in my head Of me losing control, on the free way And it plays in slow motion But the strangest thing about it to me always is

I don’t scream I don’t scream I don’t scream I don’t scream

As I watch bumper meet divider, Sparks and metal fly up Into the night sky I wonder how it would feel I wonder how it feels to…

As I watch bumper meet divider, I’ve been seeing pictures, Sparks and metal fly up almost like memories in my head Into the night sky of me losing control I wonder how it would feel on the freeway I wonder how it feels to… And it plays in slow motion But the strangest thing about it to me always is

As I watch bumper meet divider, I don’t Scream Sparks and metal fly up Into the night sky I wonder how it would feel I don’t scream I wonder how it feels to…

I’ve been seeing pictures, almost like memories in my head

Once the song was structured, I began practicing it, getting ready to cut a demo to put out into the world. In practicing it, I found the song easier to engage with on some days rather than other. I make recordings of me playing new songs so I can remember how they go at later dates but also to watch back and think about melodic choices and I found on one particular day while I could technically perform the song ok, I know I had played it better in the past. I have this relationship with most of the Sal Viejo songs that are about hard things from my life. I can perform most of them at the drop of a hat, but I know the performance is better when I am in the right mental place. I find it is a fine balance between being where you were during those hard times, but still able to perform. I feel like ‘Sal Viejo’ almost acts like a mediator sometimes, an outside observer who can sing about these things because they didn’t live through them, they saw them happen.

Heading into the day of recording I was a little stressed. Not only was I recording something still pretty fresh with the intention of sharing it to the world, but I also had just moved, had just gotten out of quarantine due to a secondary covid contact, was working a new job and had lots of uni work to do. I started the day by going and getting a coffee, thinking about the song as I went on my morning walk. My thoughts were mostly about the melody, the chords, the rhythm but also, I was beginning to make some mental adjustments to get me to the place I felt like I needed to be. When I got home, I had the intention of going slowly, setting up at my own pace and warming up but I felt the compulsion to just get it done. I started with guitar tracking, taking a signal from a mic set up near the body of the guitar and a line from the guitar, through an acoustic reverb pedal. It was during the guitar tracking process that I realised I had to simplify the line in the bridge. To get the timing right, I was playing to a metronome and singing to myself to figure out where the chord hits were and realised that I couldn’t actually play the part and sing, making it useless for live shows. After I finished the guitar did a quick mix and took lunch. I decided that I would try some vocals, but I didn’t know how they would go. I started singing and quickly realised that the phrasing would prove difficult and so I would have to punch in some of the sections. I found this really challenging because a part of the emotional engagement with the song comes from singing whole phrases, not just particular lines. What I decided to do was do multiple, full length takes, each one hitting the entrance of a section and cut it together. This meant that I could stay in the right emotional place while performing for recording and worry about the engineering side later. I wanted the mix to be fairly transparent for the demo, wanting people to hear the emotion and the story without too much distraction. I cut the vocals together and did a mix that I felt like let the vocals pierce through enough while still feeling tied to the guitar. There is a charm in the small amounts of string buzz and mic popping in the demo for me, in the mixing process I tried to get rid of some of it but decided that macro level edits would take away some of the human delivery. One decision I did make at this point was editing the lryics. The original lyric in the bridge was, “I wonder how it would feel, I wonder how it feels to die” I thought that the impact of that phrase would be increased if that word was censored, as subtly as possible but in a way that leaves listeners hanging on what the end of the phrase is. There are clues in the rhyming structure and content around it and you can figure it out if you listen to it, also I don’t know that I necessarily want a song in the world where I am explicitly asking what death feels like, I don’t know that I am at that level of openness as a songwriter yet.

In the rush of creative energy, I also cut a DIY, proof of concept music video which I attached the master of the song to which can be watched and heard here.

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Reflections: Digging into my song writing process has proved an interesting and at times challenging experience. In many ways I think I was fortunate to already have the bones of the song together before I started approaching the writing and making of the song as research as I don’t know that I could have been as honest in my lyricism knowing that I might have to explain where it came from. One observation I made is, through digging through the emotional distress that lies at the heart of this song, I found myself having cathartic emotional responses, forcing myself to consider where my songs come from. Also, as I practiced I found that having the research idea and the goal of catharsis beneficial as I made performance choices. I am unsure whether or not I have definitively answered the question, ‘how does one write a cathartic song?’ But in conducting this autoethnographic study of my process of writing a song with catharsis in mind I think I have answered, here is one way that I can do it.

References:

Adams, T. E., Holman, J. S., & Ellis, C. (2014). Autoethnography. ProQuest Ebook Central

Ansari, E., A. (2013) “Vindication, cleansing, catharsis, hope”: interracial reconciliation and the dilemmas of multiculturalism in Kay and Dorr’s Jubilee (1976). American Music, 31 (4), https://go-gale-com.saeezproxy.idm.oclc.org/ps/retrieve.do?tabID=T002&resultListType=RESULT_LIST&searchResultsType=SingleTab&hitCount=1&searchType=AdvancedSearchForm&currentPosition=1&docId=GALE%7CA401094780&docType=Critical+essay&sort=RELEVANCE&contentSegment=ZEAI-MOD1&prodId=EAIM&pageNum=1&contentSet=GALE%7CA401094780&searchId=R1&userGroupName=saeinstitute&inPS=true

Barnes, H. (Ed.). (2013). Arts activism, education, and therapies : Transforming communities across africa. ProQuest Ebook Central

 Carless, D. (2018). “Throughness”: A Story About Songwriting as Auto/Ethnography. Qualitative Inquiry, 24(3), 227–232. https://doi.org/10.1177/1077800417704465

le Roux, F. (1998). Music: A new intergrated model in physiotherapy. South African Journal of Physiotherapy, 54(2), 10-11. doi:https://doi.org/10.4102/sajp.v54i2.593

Plantinga, C. (2009). Moving viewers : American film and the spectator's experience. ProQuest Ebook Central

[peinde]

((yeah

- What is your Full name? Include any maiden names, aliases, or nicknames. 3B| My name is Feferi Peixes-Pyrope. Nicknames include Fef...T)(e Princess of Fas)(ion...and...Feffy-Weffy... - When is your birthday? Do you know where you were born and at what time? June 26t)(! I was )(atc)(ed on Alternia, but I don’t know w)(en. - What is your star sign? Do you know your Chinese Zodiac too? I am a Cancer! I’m year of t)(e Rooster. - What is your earliest memory that you can remember? I don’t like t)(inking about my memories, t)(anks. - Where was your childhood home? Was it more urban or rural? I guess you cod say it was rural? Nobody else lived near me, and t)(e only friend t)(at ever came to visit )(ad to fly over. - How was your childhood in general? Did your parents treat you well? Did you have a lot of friends? My lusus treated me reel well! I didn’t really )(ave lots of friends at all. - How was/is school? What is your favorite and least favorite subjects? What were your grades on average? Sc)(ool sucked. - Did you have a best friend growing up? What was their name? Are you still in touch? Vriska 38)! We’re still best fronds and we always will be. - Were you in any cliques? I guess? I )(ave a circle of friends w)(o are pretty stubborn and won’t leave me alone. - Best childhood memory you can recall? ??? - Worst childhood memory you can recall? All of it? - Name an event in your childhood that has shaped you into the person you are today ...I glubbing died. - What is the dumbest thing you have ever done to impress someone? Were they impressed or was it all for naught? I do dumb stuff to impress people all t)(e tide! T)(ere’s a long list, really. - Did you ever have any sweethearts or lovers? Do you have a boy/girlfriend? I’m married and )(ave t)(ree mates. I also )(ave two lovers. - Are you a virgin?

)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A!

- Do you ever plan on getting married in your life? Do you want kids? I am married, but I will N-EV-ER )(ave c)(ildren. - Would you rather have your own kids or adopt? How many kids would you want? Wtf? I said no kids??? - Do you think you'd be a protective parent or a relaxed parent? I’d be a “reverse my c)(ildren’s aging so t)(ey Benjamin Button t)(e fuck out of existence” kind of parent. - How would you prefer to pass away? Surrounded by loved ones and at peace, or while doing something heroic? Just obliterate me. - Generally, how healthy are you? Do you get sick or injured easily or are you fit? Due to my powers, I’m in perfect )(ealt)(! - Have you ever been badly injured before? W)(o )(asn’t? - What is the worst injury you have ever gotten? What was it and how did it happen? Were you ever close to death? I mean I’ve died before, does t)(at count? - How many times have you been to the hospital/doctor's? Never? - Have you ever had a concussion or brain injury? Have you ever had amnesia? Of course! amnesia’s a coin flip on t)(e fun scale. Sometimes you spend t)(e entire day finding cute fins you leave lying around, Ot)(er times you wind up in t)(e desert wit)( no p)(one service. - What was the worst illness you ever contacted? Do you know what it was? How long were you sick? I’ve never been sick in my life. - Ever had any extended hospital stays? What for? Nope! - Have you ever had to give yourself or someone else emergency first aid? What happened? O)( yes! It was awful. Vriska was bleeding from 3 big wounds! It only took a bit of )(ealing, but t)(e clean-up took FOR-EV-ER! Plus, it got on my s)(oes. T)(ose were SATIN, Vriska!!! - Are you employed? Where do you work and who do you work for? What do you do? I’m a model. - Are you happy with your current job? O)( yes! - Did you have any previous jobs? What were they and what did you do? ... - Most dangerous thing you have ever done? Anyfin I do is dangerous. - Do you consider yourself a more active person or a more relaxed person? Active. Relaxing’s for squares. - What is your dream come true? How about your worst nightmare? My dream come true is Zi-Zi. My worst nig)(tmare is losing Zi-Zi. - What is the biggest and most important goal you have set for yourself? To make my wife )(appy, no matter t)(e cost. - How persistent would you say you are? How much does it take to get you to give up on a task? I’ll never give up. You could kill me, and I’d still come back! - Would you surrender yourself to your enemies or fight to the very end? Fig)(t until t)(e end. --Enemies only kill you anyway. T)(ere’s no point in begging for mercy. - When do you usually do your shopping? What is currently on your shopping list? I s)(op w)(enever I want! I don’t )(ave a specific list, but I always )(ave a general idea of w)(at to get. - Top three things on your wishlist? I don’t )(ave a wis)(list. - Currently, what is something you want but do not need? Most of t)(e t)(ings I own. - Do you like shopping? What is your favorite thing to shop for? Y-ES I DO! I like s)(opping for clot)(es! - What is the most expensive thing you have purchased? Was it worth it? T)(at’s a toug)( one, but it usually is wort)( it. - What would you do if you were suddenly given one billion dollars out of the blue? Give it back. W)(y t)(e fuck would I need someone else’s money w)(en I )(ave my own? - What would you describe your style of clothing as? Simple, conservative, minimalist. - Do you have any hobbies? Name all of them if you can. Cooking, baking and gardening! - Do you like and appreciate art? What is your favorite piece of artwork? Art is cool, but it’s just not my t)(ing. I do )(ave an original Dali in my guest wing t)(oug)(. - Do you like music? What is your favorite style of music? )(eavy metal is pretty good, but I also really like dance and pop music! - Have you ever seen any musicals? What is your favorite? I t)(ink Roxy took me to sea Cats once. I wasn’t paying attention. - What are your top three favorite animals? What would you say your "Patronus" or "Spirit Animal" is? All of t)(e ones in t)(e sea. - What are your top three favorite colors? Blus)(, lilac, baby blue - What is your favorite season? Do you prefer hotter or colder weather? Do you like snow at all? Summer, )(ot, and s)(ell no. - What kind of flavors do you prefer: Sweet, Sour, Bitter, Spicy, Dry, or Umami (savory meat taste)? Umami, or moby spicy. - Can you cook at all? Yup! - What is your favorite dish? Can you prepare it? Do you have the recipe handy? )(and-blowtorc)(-seared sliced blowfis)(. I can prepare it, and I’ve t)(e recipe memorized. - What is your favorite fruit and vegetable? I really like lettuce. - What is your favorite dessert? What is your favorite type of candy/treat? I don’t like sweet t)(ings. - What is the best thing you have ever had the opportunity to eat? What is the worst? I once managed to eat an entire )(otdog. It was plain and bunless, but very eye-opening. T)(e worst fin I’ve ever eaten was a c)(ocolate bar. - Do you like to drink tea or coffee? Any favorite flavors? Tea! I prefer green, but I’m pretty partial to orange pekoe and pink tea. - Describe your sense of humor. Spongebob Squarepants and dicks. - What is one thing you are justly proud of? My career. I’ve worked )(ard on it. - Do you have any religious beliefs? If not, have you ever been to a church service? ---Ew, no. - What would you say is the worst thing someone has done to you? What is the meanest thing someone has ever said to you? ... - What is the worst thing you have done to someone? What is the meanest thing you have said to anyone? ... - Share the latest entry in your diary/journal. I don’t )(ave one. - What is the most precious thing you own? Is it valuable at all? Somefin given to me by my wife. It’s more valuable t)(an anyone could ever know. - Talk about someone you know. It can be someone you either like or dislike. My wife! S)(e’s beautiful, smart, articulate, cunning, considerate, compassionate, funny, talented and t)(e most perfect person you could ever meet! S)(e’s got t)(e most beautiful body, all squis)(y and curvy wit)( lovely folds. A smile t)(at bot)( terrifies and delig)(ts. ---Eyes t)(at burn wit)( joie de vivre and dept)(. A devilis)( cackle t)(at rings t)(roug)( my ears like music. S)(e’s got t)(e sensibility and wisdom of a monk, wit)( t)(e revenge streak of an assassin gone rogue. S)(e’s stuck wit)( me t)(roug)( all my bulls)(it, and is t)(e only reason I’m alive. I love )(er so very muc)(. - FREE QUESTION ???

[seddm]

STARCO OVERVIEW - Season 2 (part 1)

SEASON 1

SEASON 2 (part 1) (part 2) 

SEASON 3 (Incoming)

SEASON 4 (Incoming)

MY NEW WAND (2x01a)

Ignoring all the questions that naturally come with a season premiere opening on Star videochatting in the bathroom while Marco is taking a shower - questions that usually lead to “why the shit did they need four seasons to start smooching”, My New Wand finally introduces the idea that Star might feel something more than friendship for Marco. We aren’t told what she wrote in her diary (even if we know now, thanks to the Book of Spells, and it’s essentially a slightly more consciously skewed toward romance version of Marco’s “I felt like this since the beginning” in Here to Help), 

but the structure of the scene and the “diary of a teenage girl which can’t be seen by her bestie” clearly directed the attention of the viewers in a very defined direction. One subtly highlighted by the super inconspicuous shape of the key (sure, lots of Star’s spells and elements are heart shaped or themed, but in this specific case having the concepts such as “heart” “key” “secret diary” and “crush” all in one shot is suspicious at the very least).

As usual, UNCONSCIOUS FEELINGS: Star was generically embarrassed about Marco reading her diary, because that’s something any teen girl would do. She wasn’t consciously crushing on Marco yet at this point, at most she sometimes felt things like “wow he’s cute” and stuff like that on top of an incredibly strong relationship. It’s akin to what Marco experiences in Blood Moon Ball, but since Star is more “aggressive” with her feelings, and since Marco is going to get serious with Jackie, she’s going to consciously include “romantic attraction” in the recipe of her friendship with Marco about half a season earlier than him. 

Another important element in the episode is the introduction to dipping down, a proper version of what Star did in Storm the Castle. Long story short, as Moon tells Star, the key to dipping down are strong emotions. 

Wanting to save Marco when Toffee kidnapped him, being embarrassed about him reading her diary here. I’m not saying that Marco is the only key to Star’s maturing, obviously - and later on she’s going to dip down even more for reasons not directly connected to him, but this early in the show he always is, one way or another, the focal point of her character arc, and Glossaryck knows it and uses him to teach his problematic student in unorthodox ways - it’s clear that he’s the one who closed Marco in the closet in this episode, and directed him toward Star’s diary, well knowing that it might have helped her get a first feeling of what dipping down is like. He literally says that finding Star’s secret is the way to have her reach the chunks, which is what he used with her as a metaphor for channeling magic through dipping down.

So strong emotions = dipping down --> Marco = source of very strong emotions for Star. Not the only source, but definitely the main one, especially in S1 and S2. This is an important point for Star’s whole character arc: it’s true that in S3 and S4 there are going to be less meaningful Star - Marco interactions, and that they’re both going to have many more moments of growth while interacting with other characters, but that’s the whole point of it. At the beginning of the series both dorks are walking disasters; by interacting together, by complementing each other and their shortcoming, they slowly mature into something better, individuals who are now ready to start stepping (slowly, very slowly, their journey won’t be complete until the end of the series) into the real world and take on it. So while I’m the first one who got frustrated and saddened by the relative lack of Starco moments in later seasons (relative is the keyword) it’s also important to keep in mind that it never meant that their relationship became less important and relevant, just that during their first months together they left a real and tangible effect on each other, leading to meaningful growth that allowed the writers to believably open up roads to different kind of interactions and “plot devices” for growth. This is what I mean when I say things like “meeting Marco is what allowed Star to defeat Toffee”. Obviously there are several degrees of separation, and several moments of growth / plot for Star that didn’t even involve Marco, but without their meeting she wouldn’t have matured as fast, she wouldn’t have had the opportunity to confront herself with a friend who was ready to help put some order in her super messed up life life. From the Book of Spells: “When we are together he sees the chaos in the world and sort of embraces it”. This is a direct quote from Star’s diary, something the writers of the show wanted to point out before S4 while referring to early S1 Star.

Marco has been, since the beginning, the first and most important key to Star’s development (even if not the only one), the “force” that first allowed her to start her journey toward maturity and become the kind of person who could go from being “a skimmer” to being proud of being “a dipper”. And in this S2 premiere we get a very direct taste of it, with Glossaryck using Marco as a bait to help Star learn.

Important bonus: the face Star makes for a handful of frames after having seen a naked Marco being YEETed across her room.

MR. CANDLE CARES (2x02a)

I wrote a lot about this episode in multiple posts, so I’m going to be extremely focused on the Star - Marco stuff only this time: 

Marco smiles like that when he sees Star getting out from the office, and it endlessly warms my heart.

Both Star and Marco are clearly not thinking about each other in romantic terms in the slightest during this episode, the former harshly denying the possibility of any feeling for her bestie, the latter not being ashamed in the slightest about talking about creative making out techniques to trick Tom into revealing himself. And yet just two segments earlier Star didn’t want Marco to read a part of her diary where she might have said something crush-related. Unconscious feelings, Heart and Mind not agreeing on something, it’s always the same deal, the whole show is going to play with this idea of extreme disconnection between what one might feel and what one might consciously know they want (concept directly introduced in Sleepover) as a way to justify the ever growing emotional intimacy between Star and Marco while taking their sweet time to actually deliver any romance related developments. We all have to accept it, or it becomes frustrating and impossible to read some of the passages in the series, especially during S3 and early S4, because we’d get lost in trying to plot the trends of their feelings on a graph and that’s a fool’s errand. When the show wants to tell us “A CHARACTER FEELS SOMETHING STRONGLY AND THIS THING IS IMPORTANT” they’re not subtle about it, and that’s vastly more important than anything else.

Marco stops playing to dreamingly appreciate Star and state how endearing he finds a part of her personality which might be frustrating to most (and it is to Tom, despite him also being attracted to it at the same time).

Appreciating your partners’ quirks is Love Story Writing 101, and this is going to be particularly evident in Curse of the Blood Moon (”I like every single thing about you”) and Here to Help (Star chuckling at Marco’s clumsiness). In this specific case it’s obviously premature to talk about “love” and it’s mostly a delicious bonus that presents a comparison between Tom and Marco, evidencing both their points in common (they’re both fascinated by Star’s personality and individuality) and differences (Tom is frustrated by this part of Star’s personality as well, since it doesn’t mix well with his controlling nature, while Marco learned to embrace it).

The important part, my favorite example to show people why and how Marco had an incredibly important influence on Star’s growth, especially during the first part of the series: Star spends most of the day panicking over Mr. Candle and then her mom’s words, she feels trapped in a role she didn’t want, lacking any freedom and prospect in life beyond her role as a future queen (interestingly she feels stuck in life, just like Marco in the following episode, but not out of lack of direction, but excess of it!). Then Marco gets home, talks to her for twenty seconds, and he immediately manages not only to calm her down, but he also gives her a new perspective on her life, and on her possibilities as a princess (and we know that she is definitely going to use her authority in her own way during S3), all of this while always following the style outlined by Blood Moon Ball: not a teacher or someone who tells her what she should do, just a friend nudging her in the right direction, telling her what she needed to hear. A Version 1.0 of his speech about finding your own happiness from Beach Day, in a way - the theme of free will and self determination was present since the beginning, even if at the time there obviously seemed to be less freedom in Star’s life, since she was supposed to inherit the throne, eventually.

Bonus points for the Alphonse The Worthy’s portrait from Blood Moon Ball moving his eyes to look at the two hugging, and for the demon highlighting with “point Marco” that he ultimately won the day when it came to wanting to be at Star’s side. Minus point for Star still acting coy at Tom’s compliment showing that she still had unresolved attraction for him. 

RED BELT (2x02b)

The events of the episode itself aren’t particularly related to Starco, but it formally introduces Marco’s own “coming of age” arc, by telling us that he’s scared about being stuck in life, left without a goal or a purpose and without any meaningful connection. Needless to say that the “squire arc” from Sophomore Slump to The Knight Shift is going to address this, and that Star (as a person, but also as a mean to step into a bigger world) is going to be fundamental for Marco’s growth. While talking about the series premiere I mentioned that Star’s main role in Marco’s life is helping him become a better version of himself, stepping out of his comfort zone and managing to find his own path toward fulfillment and happiness, and Star is not just going to be extremely important for this, in different ways during the many different arcs, but she’s eventually going to be identified as THE single most important element. In The Knight Shift Marco is going to realize that he wants a lot of things from his life, that he wants to make experiences and slowly decide what he wants to do in the future without being scared about having to figure out everything here and now, lest being left behind, but he’s also going to realize that Star’s presence is essential to his happiness, that their relationship is the one lifelong post he feels like he has to commit, despite being just a teen with all his life in front of him.

So Red Belt doesn’t really have any relevant Starco interactions, but it introduces a part of Marco’s journey as a character that’s going to be incredibly connected to Star’s presence in his life.

As for the nightmare itself, don’t ask. It uses a lot of generic dream-like imagery to make things confusing and symbolic, with some elements from the first half of the season (Mr. Candle, the colors green and purple, associated to the magic subplot, the suit from Bonbon The Birthday Clown...). Maybe the Blood Moon being there was on purpose, a symbol for “you’re worried about having no goal in life, but your friend can be the key for you to gain maturity and fulfillment!”, maybe it was just “red belt, red balloon, spooky imagery... let’s put in the Blood Moon!”. Lots of things in visual media are done just for “rules of cool” or to give the scene a particular kind of mood that can help focus the attention of the viewers.

STAR ON WHEELS (2x03a)

This episode, in its extreme weirdness, is like an a super condensed recap of the important parts of Star and Marco’s relationship - with focus on the Star’s side of things, but there’s also some for Marco:

Star she gets excited about Marco teaching her something about Earth culture - riding a bike, which at the same time is also something new that could be compared to her getting her wand;

She overdoes and she messes up / can’t properly handle the situation;

Marco gets overwhelmed by this, but then learns to embrace the weirdness of Mewni / magic for Star’s sake (more or less like what happened in the first episode, or at least during her first encounters with Star and her world);

and Star has to come to terms with the fact that she’s in another dimension now, embracing part of it just like Marco did, and growing from it, and Marco has a big role in convincing her about it;

And while it’s at it, the episode includes other important themes (central to Star as a person in general, but in this case highlighted through her interactions with Marco), such as Star’s stubbornness and hostility toward doing and learning stuff when just told what to do,

and the resulting moment of learning and growth when Marco, instead of just “ordering her” what to do, gives her some of the trust that she desperately needs, and with it the confidence to actually try and succeed on her own (this all connects to the larger arc of Glossaryck teaching Star stuff in unconventional ways).

And since it never hurts we get reminded one more time how much Star resents being lied to and how important trust is to her.

Obviously the whole episode is extremely silly, the whole situation requires a lot of suspension of disbelief to work and the “emotional moments” of the episode are extremely hammed up - we get a heartwarming “I trust you.” moment when the situation at hand involves learning to ride a bike! But it’s still a good way to have in a slick 11 minutes long package a super-cut of (part of) what Star and Marco brought into each other’s lives, and how that affected them and their way to interact with the world. 

FETCH (2x03b)

Wow look in an episode that directly introduces the “stop running from your problems” arc for Star we get told by Sta herself that having your own Marco is important to give you the support you need to feel less overwhelmed by life - and thus less prone to ignore problems, it’s almost like he’s important to her in that way and that in Lint Catcher the dubbin vows when she makes him her squire further drive home the idea that he’s her ideal companion.

STAR VS ECHO CREEK (2x04a)

Another episode about “running away from problems”, in this case Star physically runs away from her problems and tries to avoid consequences. And sure, at the beginning of the episode Marco tries to tell her not to run away and we could argue once again about the positive influence and role Marco has on Star, but we know about it already. What’s REALLY important and huge is that by the end of the episode Star, the same person whose greatest fear in S1 was going to St. Olga and thus losing her freedom, gets convinced while talking with her own subconscious that going to prison (= facing problems and consequences instead of running away carefree) is a better alternative to never being able to see Marco again.  This is the same concept I talked about at the beginning of the post: it’s not like Marco is the ONLY important person in Star’s life, she obviously loves her family as well and in later seasons she’s going to interact with other characters as well, but at this point of the story Marco is the person who she actively cares the most about, and the one who better understands her (this is going to be a constant throughout the series, obviously), so almost all big moments of learning and self reflection for Star are somehow related to him. And while saying that Marco is the most important person in the world to Star (and vice versa) might not have been entirely correct by this point of the series (mostly because we lacked proper perspective), it becomes absolutely true by the end of it, as their choices in Cleaved highlight. 

So yes, sure, logically speaking, and going beyond the simple plot of this episode, Star would have missed a number of persons if she spent her life hiding just to run away from her problems, but as far as early S2 experiences and subconscious goes, it all relates back to Marco, one way to another. After all we know that they both had an intense and special relationship from the beginning, and it’s going to keep being something unique that they don’t share with anyone else throughout the whole show, even when they’re going to date other people, even when there aren’t going to be as many episodes featuring both of them together.

Bonus gratuitously adorable shot. Marco didn’t love-love Star from the beginning, we know that, but Gloss damnit, did he LOVE her from the beginning. I know that the series might not have had the best of pacing and some choices concerning shipping planted doubts and frustration in many fans, but no other two characters in the series come even remotely as close to Star and Marco when it comes to unabashedly caring about the other to incredibly extremes. THIS is what Marco means when he says that he felt like this from the beginning, and THIS is what Star means when she says (albeit in her diary in the Book of Spells) that she never connected with anyone else in the same way. This has never changed in intensity throughout the show (if anything it grew), even if it got the spotlight of an episode way less frequently.

WAND TO WAND (2x04b)

Yet another episode about Star learning not to avoid problems and responsibilities as much, and another episode that doubles down of how important Star’s feelings for Marco (I mean “feelings” in the broadest possible term, not as in “still unconscious crush” only) are for her magic. I already said this like five times, but I really want for the point to come across: I’m not saying that everything Star does, learns, or everything concerning her magic, has to relate to Marco, Starco, or to her growing crush on him, nor that Marco is the only one who ever helps Star grow. What I mean is that during all of S2 Marco is the single biggest source of feelings for Star, and this includes good stuff and negative stuff, such as all the emotional turmoil cased by Jarco. But this all plays into helping Star mature, culminating in Starcrushed. The S2 finale constitutes the climax to Star’s “stop running away from problems” arc, culminating in her accepting her role as a princess and going off to face Toffee, but this goes hand in hand with confessing her crush to Marco. Star finds the determination to grow and take The Plot™ head on, thus eventually saving Mewni (multiple times), and this part of her character arc is inextricably connected to her “learn to admit your own feelings for Marco” arc. THIS is what establishes their relationship as utterly special, and what allows me to claim that Marco had a fundamental role in Star’s coming of age story, well beyond the limits of what he personally and actively did with and for her.

When the series shows us that Marco is the key to Star tapping into her magic and better learning to use it it’s not because of some lore or plot related connection between the two, or between Starco and Magic - we have seen that’s not the case: magic is connected to emotions, and Marco happens to be the single biggest source of emotions for Star. That’s what it’s all about.

The episode ends with Star using brooms to fix her messes instead of magic, which is yet again a nice moment of “Star embracing part of Marco’s world”, but it’s not really that important in the big picture since it’s not like Earth’s ways are inherently better, it’s just important for Star at this point of her arc.

STARSTRUCK (2x05a)

Marco being right about Mina and still not rubbing it in Star’s face at the end is very cute and sets a difference between most of cartoon relationships and Starco, but it’s not that important, this is a solo-learning episode for Star.

CAMPING TRIP (2x05b)

This episode is like a fanfiction come to life, in a good way. The idea of Star’s crush on Marco is not going to be directly introduced until Sleepover, but in this episode she still acts differently, we are shown a side of Star that definitely leans closer to thinking of Marco as more than a friend - and this contributes to the main plot of the episode, where River is presented as a dad going through a middle age crisis, worried about losing her daughter to some boy who’s going to take her way from her home. AND YET NOTHING IS CONSCIOUS YET. THAT’S HOW THE SHOW DOES IT. During the episode Star is unmistakably closer to Marco usual, “happier” to spend time with him, but that doesn’t change anything in their relationship in further episodes and that still doesn’t help her be any more conscious about her feelings until Just Friends. There’s absolutely no contradiction here because it follows the inner rules the show adheres to.

I love this scene. Eden’s delivery of the line is incredible, conveying the eagerness in Star’s voice, a different kind than what we are used to and that immediately suggested (even at the time the episode aired, when we didn’t have the luxury of hindsight yet) that something was different. Not as in “something inside Star changed”, as I said we are still far away from any epiphany, just that the writers and boarders wanted to show a specific side of Star’s inner sphere in this episode.

And it’s even more interesting in hindsight, because comparing this scene with the dance in Curse of the Blood Moon, Mama Star, and Here to Help, shows us that Star and Marco (in this case it focuses exclusively on Star, Marco is denser after all) have always been very close to acting on their feelings - the entirety of them, and that they were usually just distracted by other things (other romantic interests, being stupid and dense, fear of change). When they have a moment to be alone, just the two of them, free from any other concern and focused just in each other, they immediately start to inch closer to embracing all of their relationship. 

Let me clarify: 

In Curse of the Blood Moon Star and Marco finally actually fall in Love for the first time after having danced together for a minute or so. Obviously the episode itself was a moment of high stress and tension, but once inside the Severing Stone they didn’t have to think about anything else for a moment. “We do this and everything will be fixed, we’ll be free of these obnoxious, unwanted feelings that get in the way!”, and by thinking that they let their guards down for a moment and enjoy each other’s presence, focusing on nothing more for the span of a dance, and that’s enough to lead them to understand that they do like it, a lot, and that they’d want to always be like that and that they had been running away from something beautiful all that time.

In Mama Star as soon as the Magic washes away all of Marco’s concerns and emotional blocks, he immediately confesses his love to Star, baring all of himself and revealing that what he desires the most is always being at her side.

Here to Help presented us once again with a context of stress and high tension, sure, but while in the barn Star and Marco could focus on themselves and nothing else for a moment, forgetting all about Mina and Mewni and anything else, and we know how that ended.

So I don’t mean that Star was about to confess her undying love for Marco in Camping Trip, just that the situation that was about to unfold (before River’s arrival) would have allowed for Star to focus less about “Marco is just a friend and you don’t feel weird things for your friends”, and more on “being with Marco makes me happy”. Which is the very essence of what “With or without magic we belong together” stands for.

“Let me just subtly remind you that Marco and Star have a positive influence on each other and that their meeting is the meeting of dimensions and cultures” - The Show

“Let me just subtly remind you that Marco and Star have a positive influence on each other and that their meeting is the meeting of dimensions and cultures” - The Show

The whole “River thinks Marco is Star’s boyfriend and that he stole her affection from him” is clearly played for laughs, but we still get an external character validating Marco’s efforts in helping Star out, and he also essentially approves of Marco being Star’s boyfriend. Which means absolutely nothing (with the exception of Wrtahmelior in Lake House Fever parents never ever butt in their kids’ relationships in this show, so their opinions have never been considered relevant when shipping is involved), but it’s still nice.

Bonus: Star is specifically animated looking at Marco in several occasions throughout the episode, way more then usual, “stealing glances” even. External link to the GIFs because Tumblr sucks and they’d make the whole post too heavy to load.

STARSITTING (2x06a)

In case you weren’t persuaded the first eighteen times I said that Star and Marco complement and help each other grow and be the best version of themselves, here’s an episode explicitly telling the viewer that. With a side of “dorks acting like parents” and a generous helping of “one day they’ll also understand they love each other” because there’s no way they didn’t want to tease that as well with the way these sentences are constructed. 

Bonus points for Star complimenting Marco for his skills with babies. DAD MATERIAL. ONE THOUSAND BABIES.

BY THE BOOK (2x07b)

This episode doesn’t really have any important Star - Marco interactions (even if it sure has cute ones, team work is the dream work. That’s how the saying goes, right?), but it reinforces the idea that Star learns things only in unconventional ways, something that often involves Marco during S2.

GAME OF FLAGS (2x08a)

Ignoring for a moment that Marco gets invited to what’s a family event, and that Star eagerly pairs up with him as Them Vs Her Families (ok I know that it makes full sense given the plot of the episode and it doesn’t mean there are any “Star and Marco as family” undertones here, but let me dream a bit ok?), the important stuff comes at the end: just like he did in Mewnipedence Day (albeit in a more direct way this time), Marco opens up Star’s eyes to the reality of the situation, snapping her out from a tradition she accepted without ever questioning it. And she doesn’t just back down, she tries to change things, she steals the flags, risking her own health, to claim the hill for all of them and change for good the nature of the event, just like she’s going to try and change Mewni. Once again the importance of Marco’s role in Star’s arc is evident, and once again he’s not a “teacher” who tells Star what to do, and even less a “savior” who has all the right answers for Mewni. He’s just a concerned friend who knows what kind of person Star really is, and who can give her a new perspective on things that helps her mature her own, personal, unique views. Views that are eventually going to forever change Mewni.

MEETING OF TWO INDIVIDUALS, MEETING OF TWO DIMENSIONS. The show begins with Star and Marco meeting it ends with their dimensions being cleaved together, they BOTH brought a new perspective on life to the other! It’s more apparent for Marco, since his advice pushed Star in a direction that has big effects on the plot itself, but Marco’s life was completely changed by Star as well, if in S3 he’s able to move to Mewni to have his “French Summer” and then in S4 he understands that importance of being true to what you want to commit to it’s only thanks to the crazy princess who helped him get out of his shell and make his first steps into real life. THIS is the very essence of what the show is, of Star and Marco being the tools to each other’s growth and happiness! 

SLEEPOVER (2x09a)

One might expect a long section about this episode, but I’m going to keep it short: forget about all the “but how does the Cube work?” “who did lie?” and stuff like that. The important messages of the episode are crystal clear:

- Star Butterfly has a crush on Marco Diaz. No matter how conscious or unconscious it was at this point, the show told us directly, not just through undertones and themes anymore, that Star had specifically romantic feeling for Marco as well.

- Feelings are confusing. You Heart might feel like it wants something, but your Head doesn’t know that and it thinks you want something else. This is what the series bases everything related to relationships and romance on. This is why Star can be utterly convinced that she likes Oskar, at this point of the series, while actually having growing feelings for Marco. This is why Marco can move to Mewni, leaving Earth and his old life behind, while still not realizing the full extent of why he felt such a need to be with Star, and so on. The whole series plays with the idea that Star and Marco’s feelings for each other keep linearly growing throughout the show, but don’t always consciously influence their actions and thoughts in the same way.

And that’s why by the end of the episode the boarders can nudge our arms and go “Hey, hey, see that Star is sad when Marco ignores her because of Jackie? Hey, hey, that’s the seed of jealousy, that relates to love! Look at that!”, but then in Naysaya Star can be super happy for Marco scoring a date with Jackie. Dumb teens who don’t know what they want. 

This line seemed so mature and deep at the little, little did we know the writers would have squeezed every last drop out of this concept as a way to justify things like Star and Marco completely ignoring their supposedly burning desire from Booth Buddies until Curse of the Blood Moon and then again until Mama Star. No, bad Seddm, no salt and negativity in these happy posts!

Let’s close this part here so that the core messages have more focus and remain more clear, but I wanted to point out that Star really loves involving Marco and having fun with him. Which is something we already knew but it always feels good pointing it out.

GIFT OF THE CARD (2x09b)

“Starco Teasing: The Episode”, also known as “How to have your main characters act like soulmates while still keeping everything in the episode frustratingly platonic only”.

From Star going [soft gasp] at how incredibly Marco looks in his ballet shoes

To the plot device of the episode being a gift for their anniversary... as friends, to everything else in the episode.

Ok this is clearly part of the gag but it’s also damn cute.

Star and Marco actually pour their hearts out with no recriminations here, and while it’s not something weird at all for this kind of scenes, where the characters think they’re going to die but the viewers are fully aware that it’s just the setup for a punchline, it’s still cute and a good example of the bases of their relationship.

The fact that this scene is not played for laugh, and that Star genuinely appreciates Marco saying it instead of going “OH SO YOU WERE JUST TRYING TO SAVE YOUR BUTT”, goes in the big pile of “Why do I like Starco more than any other fictional relationship?” pile.

Never mind how horribly frustrating Marco’s “let’s die in each other arms so people will know that we were friends, yep, just friends, that’s the first thing everyone would think!” is: this is an alpha version of Cleaved, Star and Marco think that they’re going to die and that there’s nothing more they can do, and their reaction is to hug and hold hands, just wanting to be together in their last moment. The whole episode doesn’t really have high stakes and it’s clearly a silly, over the top adventure, but the emotions the dorks show are very real, and exemplifying of how in love (used in the broadest possible meaning, not with a strictly romantic connotation) they were already at this time.

And this is what Star decides to get excited about, not having survived. Again, a gag, but it still fits well, it’s not played for laughs with malicious intents or to mock their friendship.

PIZZA THING (2x12b)

Nothing major nor new since it’s something we saw as early as in the second segment of the series already, but Star has learned to enjoy a “calmer” way of having fun compared to what she was used to on Mewni, thanks to Marco’s presence, being more than happy to watch TV on the couch instead of going partying around, sometimes. Also the whole concept of “Friendship Thursdays” is adorable.

NAYSAYA (2x13b)

“How can Star be this eager to help Marco out with Jackie and cheer for him when in Sleepover she was s-” HEART AND MIND DISAGREEING SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS she genuinely likes helping Marco and making him happy and won’t fully realize until Just Friends that this just means pushing him in the arms of someone who is not her, shut up!

With this out of the way, this episode features The scene showing just how much Star helps Marco getting out of his comfort zone, taking risks that go well beyond kicking monsters and going into other dimensions and becoming a better version of himself, one who can achieve his own happiness (Jackie is a small part of this, this concept of “achieving happiness” is going to be much more relevant in S4 and Star’s role in it for Marco - and viceversa - is literally going to be the main attraction during the series finale).

Hey look, Marco’s biggest fear is being alone (as in, feeling alone as an individual, without meaningful connections, not being literally alone) and without a goal and a meaning in his life. And for a time he’s going to delude himself in thinking that Jackie and school can be that, but then in Sophomore Slump he has to slowly accept and realize that Star is the only one who can give him that!

Wowie it’s almost like they deeply changed and influence each other’s lives.

BONBON THE BIRTHDAY CLOWN (2x14)

I’m going to put this as a disclaimer at the beginning of this part so that I don’t have to explain later: during this episode Star clearly displays feelings and behaviors that can only be explained by having a crush on Marco and feeling an intense need to be with him. But the episode begins with Star cheering on Marco with Jackie, and is followed by several other episodes of Star being none the wiser about her feelings for it, and definitely not showing them. Why? How? Heart and Mind disagreeing; denial; being scared of change; blaming all her uneasiness from the night on having lost Glossaryck thus overwriting the other feelings until Just Friends; a combination of everything, you pick your poison.

This is a minor note, but both Star and Marco regret having forgotten about their already existing plan with the other for the prom, with Marco’s “Jackie High” lasting about half a second before he once again goes “Oh no Star, no hurt Star!”. It’s just a setup for the episode and doesn’t really play any role, but it’s a welcome breath of fresh air compared to the easy drama most shows from past decades would have immediately built up from this kind of situation.

Star is super happy to greet Jackie, right now her mind still hasn’t put 2 and 2 together, she still hasn't processed “If Marco is going to a promo with Jackie as her date, he can’t possibly be romantically involved with me”. It’s all still a very unconscious process now (she won’t properly think “I want to smooch him but I can’t” until Just Friends), but it’s a painfully clear case of “You don’t know what you truly wanted until you lose it”, as evidenced extremely clearly both visually and by the subtle as a hammer on your teeth song (this scene here, Just Friends, Lava Lake Beach, song get used as a way to highlight and give exposition to the characters’ feelings multiple times in the early days of Starco).

Darned if I knew That I'd find you In the last place I thought you would be What could I do 'Til I saw you waiting for me? Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh And if I catch your eye It feels like I could fly Out from my lonely world into yours

Following that, Star spends most of the episode feeling weird: she looks at the picture on her phone and feels bad and tries to find a reason for that, something to blame for the new feelings she’s experiencing.

For a moment, when she uses the All Seeing Eye spell, she might have understood, or at least made a direct connection between Marco being on a date with Jackie, and her feeling like that. But the epiphany escapes her grasp after an instant, due to her magic going awry, and after that Ludo’s rat immediately gets there and she has other things to worry about.

Going back to Marco’s side of things for a moment, a quick consideration about what’s clearly a Jarco moment, a moment of connection between the two of them: we get a character external to the Star-Marco dynamic acknowledging Marco’s tenacity and perseverance, a quality that early Star lacked (”looks like I’m just a skimmer”) and that’s going to become an important part of her later on (”I am a dipper”, never giving up with the Monsters and Eclipsa in S3 and S4). One of the most clear examples of how Marco’s good influence helped Star change for the better, and this is the first time he gets outright praised for it.

After the kiss Marco sees the Blood Moon, and he’s immediately reminded of Star and goes to check on his phone, noticing the missed calls and getting worried. Was this part of the curse? Was the Moon trying to hinder Jackie and Marco’s relationship? Absolutely fucking not, as Marco said the curse is bullshit and was never a thing. In the context of this specific episode it’s symbolic, nothing more: Star is always in Marco’s thoughts, we know it and no one can deny it, the Blood Moon was merely a visual way to remind him of her, and to tell us viewers that even while kissing his long time crush, Marco still keeps part of his being focused on Star. He could have seen a little girl playing with a magic wand or hear someone say “the stars are beautiful tonight!” and it would have had the same effect. There’s nothing magical here, and if there’s it’s not important; it’s not even a good thing for Star, since Marco and Jackie’s arrival at the graveyard is actually what makes Star lose control of her magic, losing the fight.

 Marco saving Star is a cool and sweet scene, and sets a clear parallel with Wand to Wand (and we even have confirmation from the storyboarder that it was on purpose, not that it wasn’t clear enough already) that neither of them would ever let the other go, but there’s not much to be said about it, their commitment to each other is pretty straightforward and it’s obviously to be expected in dangerous situations such as this.

Also, it’s not a full parallel: in this case the moment of danger doesn’t end with a hug, but with Marco going to check on Jackie (after having helped Star up obviously, he’s still and will always be worried about her after all).

And yet, despite this, by the end of the episode Star entirely blames her sadness on having lost the book and Glossaryck. She’s still clearly hurting over Jackie and Marco, but the situation at hand gives her an easy way out, an excuse to latch on to “cover” her feelings for her bestie with a thick layer of “no no it’s definitely just this” (wow just like in Curse of the Blood Moon!). And thus the epiphany that she almost had while spying on them is delayed until Just Friends.

Neither Star nor Marco are clearly aware about it obviously, but it’s hard not to see that “I’ve lost Glossaryck” line as “I’ve lost you” as well. Fun times.

To conclude, going back to something from the middle of the episode (didn’t want to digress earlier): this scene with Glossaryck asking Star if he can burn a page from the book and Star telling him to do whatever he wants is another side to the “you don’t know what you wanted until you lose it”: Star barely cares about the Book, symbol of her duties as a princess, but in a handful of minutes - and for future episodes - she’s going to be terribly hurting over having lost it. As I said multiple times the arcs of “Star learning to stop running away from her problems and accepting her responsibilities” and “Star recognizing and accepting her feelings for Marco” go hand in hand, and are both integral to her development and character arc. And, as we are going to see in the season finale, neither of them can truly reach its payoff without the other.

Bonus to make the whole episode a little less painful: while helping Star and Jackie up Marco might give Jackie more focus, but his tone of voice is way more kind and warm and delicate with Star, showing an incredible amount of care. Clearly this doesn’t entirely match Marco’s priorities in this moment, but it’s a welcome gift from Adam (and Daron I guess, since she’s always present during the recording sessions and certainly directed him to deliver the line in that specific way).

[beckettdoll-blog]

Get the Scoop on Barbie Doll Dress Before You're Too Late

Choosing Good Barbie Doll Dress

No matter which you decide on, this project is fairly simply even when you're a beginner. The options are limitless in regards to Barbie games. Whichever game you opt to play, it's not going to matter for as long as you receive the fun and excitement that you truly deserve. You'll be amazed by the number of games which are waiting for you.

You are able to print it and begin with these tutorial videos. Well Barbie itself and Barbie games are among the most favorite playoff types that are obtainable for girls. This has been among the oldest Barbie games. They are not only for kids though.

The Do's and Don'ts of Barbie Doll Dress

This is the way that it should look. Beach balls that could be kicked around increase the fun. For more information about how to adjust the size (in case it doesn't fit), the notion is exactly like the one described in Barbie Basic Socks. So you've got to think accordingly. Spend just a little time to customize your Barbie's looks according to the occasion.

Mark the point at which you would prefer the base of the sock to be with a pin Mark the middle of the cap of the sock with a pin On the left side of the greatest pin, stitch a little zigzag or knit stitch to the pin at the bottom and stitch out to the left side. Thimbles may be used to guard those precious little digits. If you've got a sewing machine, velcro will be simpler to attach. A lot of the larger chains are going to have fantastic range of dolls, play sets, and accessories, but often only carry some of the different fashion sets which might or might not be what you're searching for.

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In case the school doesn't provide diaries you can purchase one for your child and speak to their teacher to make certain that all work which they are given is written down. Perhaps it's time to meet it. Ruth Handler produced a dream for every small girl in the usa and around the world! Go through the diary to be sure that the child has done all that they should do. You and your children may add furniture to make it resemble a attractive scene from a movie. Your son or daughter might get irritated if you attempt to play but find the story wrong or aren't paying attention to the particulars of the story. Grab younger siblings and have a break to sit down and revel in the show.

The New Fuss About Barbie Doll Dress

To help then pick the best career first you need to ask then what they would like to be. Doing this will reap tremendous rewards. Girls gaming industry isn't as big as boys gaming market. It is crucial to support your children in their career paths so they can be motivated to work hard and prosper in the assorted careers.

The Debate Over Barbie Doll Dress

This normally includes giving Barbie the appropriate hairstyle and accessories for a specific appearance, including a background in many instances. Simply have a brush and style her hair how you feel suits her the very best. And with the broad selection of styling heads readily available today you're almost bound to locate your youngster's favourite doll character has a styling head in their product range. There's no need to go out and purchase the special Barbie cake pans. Therefore, you might get a person to train them or do it yourself until you ensure they are bale to handle it by themselves. The filling in addition to the materials may be used for this objective. These small clothes can be challenging, but only need small sums of fabric when supplying a excellent deal of satisfaction for seamstresses of all ages.

The Secret to Barbie Doll Dress

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Barbie Doll Dress: No Longer a Mystery

Many animated characters result in popular wallpaper. As an issue of fact, there are many kinds of Barbies offered and all of them are different, wearing diverse outfits to suit their mission. If you're going to take part within this type of character play with Barbies it is great to obey your child and find a feeling for what is happening with their story so it's possible to fit in with their game. A few of these games are fantasy-esque while others are somewhat more realistic, sometimes using true princesses from all over the planet.