#prime don’t clown us

[ourtubahero-blog]

Looking at you Prime and @neil-gaiman. 👀👀 Is this it? Is this the GO2 trailer?

[markrosewater]

Maro’s “Look Inside the House”: A Duskmourn: House of Horrors Teaser

The new plane of Duskmourn is a perilous place, but if you can survive the horrors within you may come out stronger than ever. I’ve been there. I’ve seen the darkness and to that end, here are some hints of things to come – but will this information help or hinder your journey? Only time will tell. As with any good piece of horror media, you’re only receiving partial information and things are not always as they appear: 

 First up, here are some things you can expect:  

• A component of the set with a frame using technology first designed for an Un-set

• A tweak on an ability word that first appeared in the third set of a block

• Counters used in the set: +1/+1, -1/-1, finality, flying, lifelink, lore, loyalty, nest, possession, rev, stun, and time

• The first ability word to reference “second main phase”

• A 10/1 creature for UUU

• A variant on a mechanic that itself was a variant on another mechanic

• A modal three mana white mass removal spell

• A character returns as a legendary creature that first appeared in flavor text in Alpha

• A new ability word that cares about a card type and a (new) keyword action

• Creature tokens: 1/1 white Toy, 1/1 white Glimmer, 2/1 white Insect, 3/1 white Spirit, 4/4 white Beast, blue token copy, X/X blue Spirit, 2/2 black Horror, 6/6 black Demon, 1/1 red Gremlin, 1/1 red Balloon, 2/2 green Spider, 1/1 black and green Insect, and 0/0 green and blue Fractal

 Next, here are some rules text that will be showing up on cards:  

• “unlock a locked door”

• “Search your library for a Demon card,”

• “where X is the number of creatures you control with power 2 or less.”

• “Exile any number of target instant, sorcery, and/or Tamiyo planeswalker cards from your graveyard.”

• “The same is true for creature spells you control and creature cards you own that aren’t on the battlefield.”

• “You have no maximum hand size and don’t lose the game for having 0 or less life.”

• “Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell that targets only a single creature you control, copy that spell.”

• “Shards you control become copies of it until the beginning of the next end step.”

• “of creatures you control that don’t have the same name as this creature.”

• “(2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, and 31 are prime numbers.)”

 Here are some creature type lines from the set: 

• Creature – Human Doctor

• Creature – Kor Survivor

• Creature – Goat

• Creature – Shark

• Creature – Eye

• Creature – Fish Insect

• Artifact Creature – Monkey Toy

• Creature – Human Clown Berserker

• Legendary Creature – Elder Demon

• Legendary Creature – Rat Ninja Wizard

 Finally, here are some names in the set: 

• Acrobatic Cheerleader

• Don’t Make a Sound

• Exorcise

• Friendly Ghost

• Jump Scare

• Let’s Play a Game

• Meathook Massacre II

• Orphans of the Wheat

• Split Up

• Unsettling Twins

 Tune into Duskmourn’s Debut at 2pm PT, August 31 – streaming live from PAX West – where the House will finally reveal more of its secrets.

[r0semultiverse]

Mr. 6 made you do a good show to be released?? 👀 um....

This is already giving serious eye vibes.

A whole show dedicated to public humiliation?

The Mr. Bonzo suit started moving??? 👀 Serious stranger vibes. 🤡

"It actually became a sort of ritual"

I've seen people being like "don't cross tag" but buddy... the writing cross tags itself here I mean c'mon! 😂 Something something ritual of the stranger- okay, I'll keep listening!

Hey, what's with the music?? Hey, who is Terrance Menki???👀

"The police said there were eleven bodies in total and his wardrobe was full of all sorts of homemade costumes." BRO IS ACTUALLY MAGNUSPOD WILLIAM AFTON-

"It certainly had a profound effect on the Mr. Bonzo brand." Oh I'm sure it did, holy fucking shit. 👀

Oh, me using this image is rather ironic now.

"In a lot of ways I’m more his prisoner now than I ever was on my show." WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? 👀

"The witness statements from three murders over the last five years that claim a person in a Mr. Bonzo costume was at the scene? Do you think there could be a copycat?" Has the fear of clowns manifested as an actual clown-guything?

"Don’t contact us again." "Us?" "Why am I still trapped dealing with all this this- Why won’t he let me go?! Why-" So Mr. Bonzo is absolutely a clown cryptid of sorts with some sort of hold over Nigel.

Oh no, Gwen's about to fuck around & find out, isn't she? 👀

Hey, is Colin still himself & is he supposed to be back?

Hmm, okay, I guess that's him (hopefully).

"Maybe don’t tell them I’ve been on their terminals. They’ll only get the wrong idea." "If Lena asks, I wasn’t here." Seems like everyone's got their own little secret investigations going on, fun! This can only go well! 🙃

One of the episodes absolutely no one shows up to work except Lena is there & is like "where the fuck did everyone go?"

"Time to get some new hires again I guess."

Let's go!! Ruin exploration gang!!

"Like, it’s Saturday night and I’m choosing to hang out in a hole with you. A wet hole. And not the good kind either."

Alice with the absolute best quotes. lmao

That sounds like something with giant wings like a bat or some sort of cloth flapping in the wind. Let's hope it's the latter!

Oh a rusty old filing cabinet! Wait tetanus- 😭

"That carved floor in the big atrium – I don’t know what’s going on with that." Ah so we're just gonna breeze past that then. 😶

These are probably the remnants of old avatar creation test areas like mentioned in the Gerry & Gertrude episode. I'm just assuming here.

A key? Big find! Let's go!

AS I WAS SAYING-

Gwen, it was nice knowing you. 🫡

"Now get out of his house."

Archivist! 👁👄👁

"symbols of ancient otherworldly power"

Wait could this be a timeline where this universe's Jane Prentiss actually did manage to invade the building & succeed? I'm thinking out loud.

21:10 that sounds like critters, insects specifically 👀

"I have memories of weird stuff I saw here, but no context. I want to know what was happening, why they chose us… why they didn’t choose me. Maybe find the bit where everything started to go wrong." I am so captivated & intrigued please recount said memories to us- I mean Alice so we can learn more. Please. 👀

EXCUSE ME, WHO THE FUCK WAS THAT?!? WHO IS "[ERROR]?"

WHY DO THEY SOUND DISTORTED AS FUCK?? ARE THEY FROM THE PRIME TIMELINE OR IS THIS A NEW THING?

ARE WE GAZING OUR EYES UPON A WRETCHED THING FROM THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES?!

edit:

Is Lucia Wright an avatar of The Flesh now (in this universe or from the original timeline somehow)? Because it sure fucking sounds like it! 👀 Well, at least that key was put to good use! 😂

Also, supposedly Mr. Bonzo is a reference to Mr. Blobby.

Gwen, I'd be quaking in my boots too. That thing is terrifying!

Late observation but this universe & story seems to focus a lot on the cryptids & I like the direction it's going in! Loving this plot of cryptid hunters, childhood avatar experiments, a strange institute where our main character has past trauma, & just all of it is so good! 💜

Amazing episode, 10/10, I was at the edge of my seat the entire time! 💜 That Bonzo scene & the sound design were absolutely horrifying, thank you! The ending too! 🔥

[accio-victuuri]

A PRIME EXAMPLE OF WHY WASHING SOMETHING WILL MAKE IT SWEETER. ⬇️⬇️⬇️

I am referencing this post by Ms王小甜 and before I proceed, I wanna say that I actually welcome “washing”. I have no problem with having a more rational or alternate explanation for whatever cpn thinking that we have. I actually do that myself too and the reality is we can’t ignore facts. I like CPNs that start with facts and go from there.

My problem is when someone tries to disprove things and want us to believe it just because they say so. no evidence or anything. However my favorite kind of washing is one that gives more fuel to the CPN. 🤍🤍🤍🤍

The incident happened in the comment section of a particular bjyx video. There are tons of those both in Chinese platform and international. However one comment stood out. Everyone else is clowning along and this account said something to probably wash what the majority is saying.

Drama is drama, reality is reality. Xiao Zhan's hometown and my sister's husband's family live in the building next door. (….) People in my hometown never say anything. Wang Yibo has been there and everyone knows that they are just good friends.

I’m sorry, WHAT?

Did you just say everyone knows but don’t say anything that WYB visits XZ’s hometown??? 🤔

Interesting. Lol. Probably during CQL filming? WYB’s Chongqing visit before he used the Ox necklace? Or was this something more recent? We don’t know if what this random person on the internet is saying is true, but if what they wanted to prove is that the boys are just good friends — then they are speaking to the wrong crowd. the bit they said made us clown even more:

these are just some examples 😂😂😂😂😂😂

please try better ways to wash things next time. and this is why most of the time the concept of washing by so/os have always been hilarious to me. we did that. a lot of cpn-bloggers fact check things and the cpn bit is always with a disclaimer so it’s not like we need a third party for a reality check. there are spaces that are only for bxgs only and crossing over usually doesn’t end well. we only clown stronger.

BONUS: there is also this comment from a cpn video discussing the mystery driver.

Don't guess. Wang Yibo is the one driving the car. I'm nearby. Yes, I can see clearly. They sometimes go to the supermarket together.

and there is another comment below this that said they live upstairs ( hometown ) then proceeded to say, Guess why I fell in this trap? ( this being bjyx clowning )

-END.

[ask-the-royal-absol]

(Response to: https://www.tumblr.com/ask-noonescity/747025498874527744/destino-approached-erebus-with-the-body-pillow-in )

Destino: Nightmares? The only nightmare I can see is your appearance. An utter fashion nightmare. I suppose I wouldn’t want my beauty sleep to be ruined by your face every night. Very well, I won’t tell clown features over there about the appalling outfit she’s wearing. Also, let’s back up to that so-called insult.

*As soon as Destino heard the little voice coming from their pillow, it startled them. Letting out a high pitched scream, they threw it to the floor, trying to kick it as far away from them as possible. As much as they would be embarrassed by the scream later, right now they needed to get that thing away from them. Slowly, the dark mist which had been inside of the pillow began coming out, forming itself into a shape on the floor. Destino turned towards Erebus, clear anger on their face.*

Destino: What have you done to my pillow?! Buddy, I insulted you! That’s not a call for making whatever this is appear! Get rid of it!

*The shadowy mass stretched and morphed parts of itself into a form more comfortable for it to be in. It was incredibly small, only the size of a hand. It appeared to look up at Erebus, wagging what seemed to be some sort of tail.*

???: This is truly an exciting time for one such as ourselves! Please, we must know more about you!

*As soon as Destino heard it spoke, they stood in front of the shadowy creature, clearly not happy about what was happening.*

Destino: Excuse me. Hi, Prime Destino here. The one who was holding the pillow. You know, the one you apparently caught a ride on? You better explain what is going on here because I’ve already had a hell of an evening and I don’t need a weird shadow creature to ruin it even more.

???: Ah yes! We are aware of your presence! The Guardian herself told us about you! But we are not interested in you in this present moment! We harbour great curiosity about this one!

Destino: How could you not be interested in me? I’ll have you know I’m probably the most interesting Pokémon here.

???: Oh, you are indeed up there with Pokémon we find interesting! The Almighty certainly had his eyes on you! But we must know more about this one!

*Destino sat arms crossed with a grumpy expression on their face. How dare this creature enter their body pillow and use it for its own gain and how dare it be more interested in this stranger than them? Destino would have to question this being further as soon as it had finished its current conversation.*

@ask-noonescity

[ahummingbirdwitch]

FREE CHARACTER X READER REQUESTS!

I am now accepting requests! Drop a character from my list + a scenario of some kind in my inbox and I’ll write it from a reader’s perspective!

CHARACTERS I WRITE FOR:

Buggy the Clown (One Piece)

Cypher (Valorant)

Vox (Hazbin Hotel)

Vash (Trigun/Trigun Stampede)

Killer Moth (Teen Titans)

Slade (Teen Titans)

Young Papa Nihil (The Band Ghost)

Katakuri (One Piece)

Megatron (Transformers Prime)

Proinsias Cassidy (Preacher)

RULES:

I only write for characters from my list. If you don’t see your fav, I’m sorry!! Feel free to come back at a later date, I’m always updating my list every time I find a new character to fixate on, lol

I don’t write OCs, only reader POVs/reader inserts (can be either fem or g/n). Readers’ physical attributes will not be described unless specifically requested (i.e. plus-sized reader, reader with long hair, etc)

I always write in second person and never use y/n

Some requests may be answered, some may not. If I like the request and want to write for it, I might get it out right away, but it could just as likely take a hot minute!

Expect something between 400 and 1000 words. If I like it enough, it might end up being longer than 1000 words!

I have the right to delete any request that makes me uncomfortable. Please see the “Will Not Write” category below

WILL WRITE:

Something from the requested character’s POV (if asked for specifically)

SFW

NSFW

Fluff

Hurt/comfort

Angst

Mildly dubious consent (depends on the scenario)

Interactions with other canon characters

WILL NOT WRITE:

Any kind of SA/non-con situation

Incest

Pedophilia

Omegaverse-specific dynamics

Not sure about something? Just ask!

If you read this far, thank you guys for supporting me! My inbox is always open :)

[therealsinnohdawn]

prime s3 preview thoughts

-“any chance at bringing green hill back is gone” —sounds like he’s about to cry here, perhaps i am not a clown for hoping that the season opens with sonic having a teary heart to heart with shadow

-“nine betrayed you and left us to die”—they’re in the void, i wonder why they’d be having this convo in the void. my shipper heart hopes that sonic was so shocked and crying in the cave that shadow just snatches him up and runs away so they don’t get caught by the council.

-“we can still figure out how to stabilize the shatterspaces, together!”—this, along with the images of nine’s tech firing a giant laser into the sky, makes me think nine is deliberately destroying the other shatterspaces. why he’s doing this is a mystery, as he can create his own world by himself and since he has all the shards no one can bother him. does he just want to mess with sonic? is he trying to get revenge on the entire universe?

-the whole of the trailer seems to take place in the grim, and we don’t see any new footage of anyone except sonic, shadow, and nine. this could mean a few things, but my guess is that the trailer is only showing footage from one or two actual episodes. there’s no big showdown with the rebels and chaos council, and so despite how interesting the idea of “tails as the real antagonist” is i don’t think that’s their endgame

-the most interesting thing is this shot

sonic and shadow in the grim (as confirmed by sonic’s gear), fighting chaos sonic. this confirms that there’s a way for shadow into the other shatterspaces, possibly due to everything becoming unstable. this is hype as fuck.

also hype as fuck is the return of chaos sonic but since it’s in the grim, i have a feeling nine just made a copy and it might not be the real guy we all love.

-girlies hold hands

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

how dare someone think that a character is physically cute! don’t they know that if a character does bad things that automatically makes them ugly and no one can ever think they’re cute?

you’re a fucking clown

yeah, i guess the only valid thing to call a person who is plotting murder is "cute". you know, that word you use for sweet innocent things?

on a serious note, i do not think that catra is ugly. or anyone, for that matter. appearances have nothing to do with someone's personality. i just find it odd that people screenshot the exact moment where she is planning to control and traumatize her "friend", and call it cute. i bet y'all didn't find shadow weaver cute when she was abusing catra. or horde prime when he was torturing catra.

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

Reactions to Nintendo Direct

Pikmin 4

Olimar: Ah, I wish I were there. It has been quite some time since I’ve had a good treasure hunt and catalogued the creatures of PNF-404. Maybe I should dust off the spacesuit and take a trip?

Samus: Weren’t you kidnapped by some crazy goo monster that wanted to be your mom?

Olimar: Inevitabilities of the experience, it’s all things you have to live with when you’re an explorer.

Samus: Amen to that.

Splatoon 3 DLC - Inkopolis

Callie: Woohoo, Inkopolis Pla-za!

Marie: It has been a while since we’ve been back there. I honestly thought Jelonzo was dead.

Callie: And Sheldon had kids. I don’t know what to feel about that but the excitement of everything else is leaking into that opinion.

Marie: I think it’s a Tom Nook situation. I don’t think Sheldon would ever kiss another woman, let alone have kids.

Splatoon 3 DLC - Side Order

Callie: …

Marie: …

Callie: … Is that what happens when lesbians get divorced? Inkopolis gets zapped into a hell dimension?

Marie: … I don’t know. But something tells me we’re going to have to invite those two to group therapy now.

Kirby’s Return to Dreamland - Magolor

King Dedede: Serves that egghead right. All of us had to go through at least one alternate universe to start being good people, and he ain’t gonna be an exception.

Kirby: I hope he wins. I like Magolor, even if he betrayed us and tried to conquer the universe.

Bandana Waddle Dee: That and Merry Magoland is a boon to the local economy. Plus he technically already won. If he were to lose, that would cause a time paradox in our universes timeline that would resonate-

Metroid Prime Remastered

Samus: Finally, Metroid Prime fou- wait. This is the first one. Well, I said I would dress up as a clown if I lost. May as well go catch my next bounty as one.

Tears of the Kingdom

Samus: Well at least you got a release date finally. And the game looks gre- hey, where are you going?

Link: Didn’t you see me drive that car thing? That means I’m going to be making vehicles, and if that happens, I need to go and get forklift certified. For the sake of Hyrule.

Samus: I completely understand.

And finally, Silksong

Luigi: Oh yeah, Silksong!

There is no Silksong.

Luigi breaks down into tears.

[casinoquartet]

[long] U TURNED ON ASKS YIPPEE!!! hi i’m that recent anon, i love ur posts so much :))) thank you for everything, and the fic you linked was incredible! that facet of swagdoons in which red is so so painfully genuinely in true love with ash, under all the layers of power plays, through the real pain of each and every one of ash’s betrayals… i will die!!!! and thank you (& your friends) for posting about the casino quartet, i am soooo thankful for the introduction to the best polycule ever. one thing i love about the casino quartet is how clown and branzy are obnoxiously public (people know so many details that they really did not need to know) (hence people feel so confident that they’re genuinely devoted & reliant on each other that they’ll try to use one against the other) (prime example: the season 3 obsidian trap), while ash and red are obnoxiously private (no one understands what the fuck is ever going on between them) (no one knows how to manipulate their dynamic, no one can properly account for their incomprehensible relationship while trying to strategize) (prime example: boosfer’s phobias video). i like to imagine that clownzy are the closest people to the internal workings of swagdoons (they see the domestic arguments & the intimacy behind closed doors, listen to their private rants about each other, were present for some of the loaded swagdoons history that ash and red don’t even really talk about themselves). also i watched zam’s first stream of the hardcore smp yesterday [8/21/2022] and i find it so funny how ash will bring up clownzy and clown will bring up swagdoons. (ash announces he’s going to recite “the bible: part 2” and reads aloud a clownzy angst fanfiction; clown says in the middle of a formal meeting that red should sit on ash’s lap because they’re swagdoons). why are they always like this. and idk if you feel much interest in the latest season of the kaboodle smp but i’m really hoping for some clown x ash homosexualities, to fill out the casino quartet dynamics. as of now, we’ve got clown immediately showing vaguely gay interest towards ash, the mysterious teleporting guy in a suit who violently glitched into a server-wide campfire meeting out of nowhere. (clown: “ooh, who are you~?” ash, who otherwise doesn’t show interest in anyone or anything besides gaining riches: “…where do i know you from?”) (ash: teleports in, kills someone’s pet cat, teleports out. everyone, rightfully: WHAT THE FUCK?! clown: shocked delighted laughter.) (everyone is stuck unable to interact with ash, who keeps ignoring all conversation to ask for valuables. but clown swiftly catches on to ash’s rhythm and uses an emerald to try to bribe ash to follow him & tell him his name, as if ash is a cat. it somewhat works.) (after ash leaves, clown tells the others that he’ll “keep an eye on” the new stranger, who will be “safe in [his] hands”.) i watched this all go down from our beloved ivorycello’s POV [7/1/2023]. anyway uh. hiiii and thank you & all you other regular swagdoonsers on tumblr for the friendly reception :) i’m so excited for lifesteal season five plotlines. for some reason i’ve been Thinking about the intro to season 5 in which everyone gathers around in a circle waiting to start, ash sees this and places himself at the center to make an impromptu dramatic speech LOL, and red is the first to step in with him to tell him to go back to his spot. i’m choosing to imagine this as another instance of the god complex bf with enough power to back it up x the only guy who can rein him in and is bizarrely casual & familiar about it dynamic. ok i’m out ✌️ love you /p

[very long response under the cut]

HI ANON!!! glad that you enjoyed my post and the fic i recced in the tags!!! it’s one of my fav fics and your post Really reminded me of it so!!! i’m glad you enjoyed it!!!!! (loves reccing fics) me when reddoons and loyalty and how it plays into swagdoons . (<- i remember i made a post responding to something i found on lsheadcanons about vampire!ash and human!red that Could be used for a metaphor about swagdoons and loyalty . something something about red Literally fueling ash out of choice)

anyways!! WELCOME TO THE CASINO QUARTET ENJOYER GANG!!!! they r my absolute beloveds, god bless. and you’re SO RIGHT clownzy would do so much pda in public and be all mushy (but in the Worst times possible . i am talking about mushy flirting while they are being chased down by the authorities while ash and red are screaming at them to stop and focus on running away. anyways) but i think?? you’re referring to the trap where branzy is held ransom by purple duo and heh as to get clown to “save” him? but yeah . they’re always so closely associated with each other that even in small things (ex someone in the start of s5 warning someone that branzy “knows a guy” in reference to clown) and since branzy is the “weaker” of the two tbh i’m not surprised if someone holds branzy for ransom again this season (i’ve heard whispers of them teaming up again this season so !!!)

but even though there’s been a lot of acknowledgement by other cc’s, there’s not any. record of someone taking advantage of their relationship yet? like you said the closest thing is the one of them is lying video but like, that video was arguably where swagdoons showed their trust the Most (esp with cheating during spilt or steal . that was SO them) but. yeah the way their relationship is very subtle . there’s no real massive declaration of love but small moments (which. i think why there’s SO many swagdoons clips that r just small gestures but swagdoons enjoyers still go BONKERS over <- big enjoyer of their streams for that reason) (and as a result i associate the song “no big deal (i love you)” by dodie with them . a lot of the one is about not verbally saying i love you but. yk. the love is still there and strong . love that song in general so <3) but Yeah i do also like the idea that clownzy r one of the Only people who see swagdoons be domestic with each other in full . something something about casino quartet being domestic and trusting each other so much here willing to stop all of the facade and be vulnerable with each other

but LMAOOOOO that hardcore stream goes so hard . the bible part 2 caught me so off guard when i watched it like LMAO????? it’s fantastic . also in that same stream zam is like “the bible part 3: ash nd red were walking down the street” and swagdoons are INSTANTLY shutting him down and telling him to stop (this is a recurring thing for some reason apparently zam mentioned swagdoons during vidcon and got hit with a ball i response but also zam did say swagdoons made out in the dennys so ???? idk anymore) but ooooo i didn’t know about clown mentioning swagdoons . maybe i should check that out (i was only skimming through the void so…that is something for me to check out)

and i am watching kemp rn too! except i am only watching from ash’s pov, which is. a time for sure. he has already made a deal with god and figured out how to exploit his glitching thing. but ash WAS looking at clown when he teleported into the campground and defrost was like O_O at clown so. tbh i’m kinda excited to see where they go since they might have a “hold up…do i know you?” moment (and if ur interested there is a fic of them …….clown and ash my beloved) (and here’s the clown and ash meowing clip if you so desire . this clip is the clip of All Time) but hearing what the rest of the conversation with the ksmp members afterwards is INTERESTING when i just watched ash teleport away and go “i hate it here’ LMAOOO ……..that is interesting of clown though……..i wanna see them together more ……like an enclosure

AND S5!!!! i am so excited for s5 of them …..idk who’s pov you watched but in ash’s pov he Did mention wanting to team with branzy, red, and clown SOOOOOOOO ………. <- he also said this last season and that didn’t end up happening . i am going off of copium /silly

but i Do think swagdoons r gonna have a more power dynamic-y relationship this season esp with the whole free market stuff (and at least. according to red’s stream today he Said that lala legion were trying to look for camelot’s old base so…….. eyes emoji. what’s up with that) BUT YEAH!!!! lots fo exciting stuff bc i’ve also heard clownzy might team up again. …….. casino quartet nation is winning

IDK IF ANY OF THOSE RANTS MADE SENSE hopefully i didn’t miss anything and i was. semi on topic BUT !!! YEAH!!!!!! love u 2 anon /p ur asks r lovely :)

[fanficfanattic]

Win and/or Road

You know not what you have wrought. Cause both of these are dark.

Warning for some homophobic bullshit from James Tartt. And literal lashing.

Win:

“Gonna give you a choice, son-o-mine. You’ll get the buckle end-“ “Wait, what?” “-or you can earn getting the leather end. I know how much your pretty boy appearance is to you, and the buckle ain’t like what you’re used to. It’ll scar.”

“Why are you doing this, da?”

“You know why I’m here, ya cunt. Been gone for a couple of months but less than one with the American clown and suddenly you’re all soft again. Don’t know what he’s said to you, or promised you, but I ain’t raised you to step down from a fight, did I?”

He waited before grabbing Jamie by the barely longer front of his hair to yank his head back.

“Asked you a question, boy.”

“No,” and for a second his dad was visibly preparing to strike at the denial, before Jamie desperately rushed the rest of the sentence, “you ain’t raised me to be a pussy”.

“That’s right. And ya done that in front of cameras. Half of Manchester is laughing at the Tartt name. At my name. So you understand why I need to guarantee you’re sorry. Don’t you?”

You could barely hear it, but Jamie quietly whispered “yes” back at him. Normally he’d say something about mumbling. But he had more important things to consider.

“You want to hear what will let you avoid the buckle?”

“Yes, da.”

“Mind your fucking manners with me.”

“Yes, please, da.”

“I know how much you admire Kent, for all that you yap at him like an overeager pup. You coulda had him out of that game in moments, I taught you how to fight well enough.

Which means you didn’t want to actually win that fight. Don’t matter if it’s because he was your childhood footie hero” and his dad spit on the floor at his feet, “or you felt sorry for him. Or you’re more soft than I thought, eh? Got a crush, boy?”

The lines of Jamie’s back go rigid. Before he can respond, his dad just chuckles.

“Always so sensitive about that. I know you ain’t a poof for all that you dress like one. Like I said, it don’t matter why you keep putting up with Kent. Only that it’s got to stop. What am I always telling you Jamie?”

“That I’m too stupid to think so I should stop trying?” His dad let out a bark of a laugh.

“I do say that, yes, but I meant how I keep telling you that getting attached to the other players will only drag you down. Propping them up makes you look mediocre, and that won’t get you proper minutes when you’re back with City, will it?”

Jamie knew better than to stay silent this time.

“It won’t, you’re right.”

“This Richmond loan was your chance to really see what it were like without all the other players having hooks in ya. Not your fault that you grew up with first team as your mentors. But they ain’t your friends you stupid boy. And neither are those Richmond lads.”

He didn’t ask a question so Jamie kept quiet but the anxiety just built and built. Right before it boiled over, his da gently brushed his hair back into place from when he’d grabbed it.

“You know I don’t like doing this, Jamie. But I do because it’s for your own good, yeah?”

Jamie’s breath hitched because that was a lie. But one too dangerous to call out.

“Course da. I know it.”

He got a brisk pat on the head as a reward for keeping his voice from breaking.

“Good, good. And you can prove you know it by doing as I say. That’s what will earn you the leather rather than the buckle.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Admit to me, now, that you know Kent don’t belong on the pitch no more. And that you’ll help him realize it.”

Jamie’s voice sounded faint. “What?”

And in turn his dad’s voice got firmer.

“Kent. The one what we’ve been talking about this whole time? Your hero worship school boy crush? I kid, I kid. But your favorite player nonetheless.

He’s past his prime and I wouldn’t care if he were just holding back that bottom of the table joke of a club. But your name is attached to it, which means my name is attached to it. They need to put him out to pasture so you can actually keep them in the Prem. You’re the only fucking shot they have at it, ain’t ya.”

“I…what? No?”

“Did you just disagree with me? After saying yourself you aren’t smart enough to bother with thinking.”

“It’s Roy fucking Kent, da. They’d be mad to release him just on the strength of how it’d depress the team.”

“Jamie, my poor Jamie, this is why you’re only good for footie. None of those lads matter, and if they’re too big’a emo little bitches to lace up their boots? That don’t matter neither.” He picked up the belt. The metal clinking as it tipped over before swinging into the air.

“Last chance, son. You going to accept that I know best. Or you gonna fight me on it.”

“I ain’t saying that about Roy and I’m not going to sabotage his career!”

“Suit yourself. If you don’t care about your own career, why should I?”

And the belt came down buckle first.

Road:

This is the only use of “road” I had that wasn’t just referring to Nelson Road. And it is firmly in WIP territory because this whole snippet is a monolog/diatribe without any of the scene setting to make it actually readable.

“And I was learning it while the four of you were in the office saying that I was a diva and a fragile little bitch. While making jokes after I pointed out that you were the ones who had all invested in us being a team that supported each other, that you had sold me on that too. And then threw it away with the promise of something else. Something better.

I weren’t even saying it about meself! By that point I had learned. I was talking about the team as a whole. Because it turns out you were right, when we had each others backs, it was better. But everyone else had stopped. They didn’t even have their own backs, giving it all to Zava, with me trying to cover everyone else.

Not just first team, like 10* wasn’t hard enough. But everyone. Cause you shunted Colin off to the side like he were nothing. And I wouldn’t leave Jack and Declan and Jeff to fend for themselves. No one in this room alone, right coach? It’s what you said after I were already gone. So maybe you didn’t ever mean it to include me.

Good thing that at least by then I’d learned that trusting means people can still fuck up. That it means you just know they’ll find their way again. So I kept doing what was right, regardless of the fact that you didn’t care about what were right nomore. No way you could and also had given up thinking it wasn’t about the wins and losses.

Didn’t help that even as he called me names, not the fun kind where we say Colin is a menace on the road, but the kind you want to give someone you think would make the world a better off place if they died, that Roy was the only one who heard what I said. Made the jokes, sure, but then actually listened.

Richmond only got through Zava doing exactly what he were always going to do because Roy decided to diversify your strategy. To invest in making sure that anyone who wanted to still grow as a player, despite the official party line being to give fucking Zava your all, could actually develop instead of stagnate.

The real fucking joke is that I were the only one who wanted that. Because I never, even when I was the prickiest prick to ever prick, gave anything less than my absolute best. Me, the person you spent that same time talking down to and about to each other and ignoring that even at my worst? I was never that fucking cruel.

I was the only player who had taken every word you ever said to heart. Because it was important. It changed fucking everything for me. And so I put me head down and did the fucking work. So that when Zava fucked everyone over -as he absolutely did because he told the whole world over and over exactly who he was- we’d at least be no worse off than when I first came here on loan.

And Roy was the only coach who did the same fucking thing. Who took what you said and let it change him. For the better. He was the only one who saw, and cared, about the fucking club.

He fucking hated me and still saw that I was trying to be what we needed here. Despite no one else remembering what we’d built. Together. Despite no one else caring that I was drowning right in front of you just trying to keep us afloat. Just trying to make sure there was something to even come back to once Zava left us high and dry.

The person here who had the most right to enjoy me spiraling was the only one to notice it at all. Then did something about it! And I know it were only because he cared about the club, not me, but I cared about it too. More than I cared about meself. So we finally had something to agree on.”

Jamie had laughed bitterly several times over by then. But none so dark and full of self hatred as the one he couldn’t hold back at the thought of Roy and him only agreeing that Jamie’s worth was solely his ability to take hit after hit in the name of Richmond.

“I were dumb enough to think that being one of eleven meant sharing the burden as well as the benefit. Didn’t I? Got out of practice for having to carry it all. Got lazy. Got complacent. Forgot that I shouldn’t pass to someone who hadn’t even attempted to score in months. Made us both look like fools when they just turned their head looking for Zava to make the play for them.”

[breezingby]

Bob Dylan ~ Like a Rolling Stone..... (Official Audio)

Once upon a time you dressed so fine Threw the bums a dime in your prime, didn't you? People call say 'beware doll, you're bound to fall' You thought they were all kidding you You used to laugh about Everybody that was hanging out Now you don't talk so loud Now you don't seem so proud About having to be scrounging your next meal

How does it feel, how does it feel? To be without a home Like a complete unknown, like a rolling stone

Ahh you've gone to the finest schools, alright Miss Lonely But you know you only used to get juiced in it Nobody's ever taught you how to live out on the street And now you're gonna have to get used to it You say you never compromise With the mystery tramp, but now you realize He's not selling any alibis As you stare into the vacuum of his eyes And say do you want to make a deal?

How does it feel, how does it feel? To be on your own, with no direction home A complete unknown, like a rolling stone

~ ♫♪♫ ~

Ah you never turned around to see the frowns On the jugglers and the clowns when they all did tricks for you You never understood that it ain't no good You shouldn't let other people get your kicks for you You used to ride on a chrome horse with your diplomat Who carried on his shoulder a Siamese cat Ain't it hard when you discovered that He really wasn't where it's at After he took from you everything he could steal

How does it feel, how does it feel? To be on your own, with no direction home Like a complete unknown, like a rolling stone

~ ♫♪♫ ~

Ahh princess on a steeple and all the pretty people They're all drinking, thinking that they've got it made Exchanging all precious gifts But you better take your diamond ring, you better pawn it babe You used to be so amused At Napoleon in rags and the language that he used Go to him he calls you, you can't refuse When you ain't got nothing, you got nothing to lose You're invisible now, you've got no secrets to conceal

How does it feel, ah how does it feel? To be on your own, with no direction home Like a complete unknown, like a rolling stone

~ ♫♪♫ ~

[blue-bower]

Just a bunch of Silly Little Guys

So some of yall have probably noticed I've had a tiiiiny bit of a hyperfixation on clowns and jesters for a while now. 

It really started becoming apparent to me when I latched onto Jevil in 2018, but I've honestly loved clown characters for many years. I think the earliest I may have realized I might have a thing for them was that scene from The Brave Little Toaster, and the Toon monsters from Yu-Gi-Oh. I think I was just, in denial or hadn’t fully realized it. And I’ve thought a lot about all the reasons they appeal to me.

1.) Laughter: Laughter and comedy is fucking amazing. I love to laugh, I love hearing and making other people laugh. Everyone deserves something that can brighten their day, and I love that there’s a bunch of gremlins out there whose entire job is to bring laughter. And I enjoy all the methods they use to loosen people up: Pranks, tickling, general goofiness, appealing to one’s inner child, tickling (x2), making someone absolutely loopy and laughter-drunk with bouts of lunacy and ridiculousness, giving playful scares.

2.) Design: I think clown & jester designs are so much fun and so freaking cute. I love elaborate, colorful outfits, I have mad respect for people who can tolerate wearing facepaint all day, I love seeing people who can absolutely own a mismatched, extravagant, goofy outfit.

3.) Fear factor: I enjoy how much they creep people out. I'm a little shit that loves scaring people, and I myself am an adrenaline junkie that enjoys spooky & unsettling things. It fascinates me how so many people have a phobia for silly little guys in facepaint.

4.) Personality: I've always taken a liking to characters that are unhinged and chaotic with way too much energy. I don't necessarily like blatant Evil/Killer Clown stereotypes (I could honestly care less about Pennywise, and the Joker leaves a bad taste in my mouth due to my ex and an abusive POS ex-friend) But I enjoy characters that don't give a fuck what society thinks about their oddities. Characters who just enjoy being pranking little shits, who just want to be seen and enjoyed for the manic goofballs they are. Characters who are on the verge of finally fucking snapping after being misunderstood for so long, because heaven knows I can relate to that.

5.) Commentary on society: Jesters especially are meant to tear down societal conventions, to mock and point out the shortcomings of the upper class. And I eat that shit up, as someone who absolutely hates societal expectations, corporations, biased dictation over how people should behave, how they should view people who exist outside of heteronormativity, gender norms, race & neurotypical behavior. Clowns are often seen as the butt of the joke, and in that sense, they show a sadder side of how society acts towards people who don’t fit their mold, showing the effect that emotional abuse can have on the psyche of someone who just wants to bring joy.

6.) Relatability to myself: For a long time I’ve loved to entertain people, I love making people laugh, I enjoy being in the limelight when in costume and acting as a character, I love impacting peoples' moods in a positive way. That being said, for a good majority of my life, I felt like I was the clown that everybody mocked and laughed at. I was constantly bullied, humiliated, blown off, looked down on. I was the clumsy, ditzy, undiagnosed neurodivergent that everyone in middle & early high school unanimously agreed was a prime target for projecting their need to feel superior. I've always had the worst luck, and to this day I feel like I jinx everything I say or do. Life tried to make a clown out of me. If the song “Circus Hop” existed in my teen years, I would feel it to my core.

But, now that I'm finally more confident in myself, I choose to embrace the klutzy, silly, manic inner gremlin that craves to see the downfall of massive corporations and bigoted, entitled, joyless prickheads. The side of myself that refuses to let harsh realities and cynicism stifle my childlike imagination & creativity and my passion for fictional worlds in "childish" animated media. And I won't let people look down on me for it. I won't let people see me as a laughingstock anymore - not unless it's on my own terms. I'll choose to let people laugh at me, and laugh with me, for reasons that highlight my good traits, not because they think they can throw pies at my face whenever they want.

[angelsdean]

like, i get that some people are upset that dean is still in heaven but, it wasn't really a shock to me at all ?? sure i clowned a bit w/ the 'time traveling aliveboy dean' stuff but they literally said before the show even started that dean was on a "hiatus" from heaven and that was always in the back of my mind thru out my clowning. and it really was a hiatus from heaven ! it all took place in the heaven drive time gap as like a finale coda (and what a huge time gap that is to fill. there's still so much they can do w/ that bit of time alone imo). we also don't know how much jensen + robbie were allowed to change, there may have been stipulations w/ spnwin to not change the heaven finale, something that might have to wait for a reboot / continuation of spn prime.

but regardless, crucially ??? what spnwin did is it completely recontexualized dean's ending. i said this in the tags of this post but i'll say it again: the spn finale said. ok dean's dead. he waits for sam. and that's it. spnwin said. no actually !!! he's not accepting that peace !! he's not waiting around for sam !! and giving dean back that agency is important to me. giving dean back the ability to make his own choices and want things for himself is important to me.

and i know some people are doubtful that we'll get a s2 of spnwin, meaning dean's story would end here, on him being unhappy in heaven. but personally, i don't think it matters if we get a s2. i think jensen is Not done with dean or the spn prime story. he's said before that spnwin is only one of many stories he wants to explore in the spn universe. also, after that answer he gave recently at jibcon re: a destiel reunion, i think he def wants more spn ("hopefully we get to see that at some point / i'm sure it would go how we all think it would go" and dean wanting to talk abt the confession)

i think even if we don't get a s2, everything that spnwin established re: dean's story will be the foundation for that reboot / mini series they're always talking about. personally, i Don't think we'll see dean again if there is a s2. (tho we may hear him in voiceovers as they read his journal and use it as a guide. and we may learn more abt dean and his journey this way). overall, i think dean helped establish this story and these characters, but moving forward it will be focused on them and not dean (tho we will see familiar spn faces, and maybe they will get involved in the multiverse too and visit the main spn universe, who knows?)

i think we needed what spnwin gave us re: dean's story not being over, dean unhappy in heaven, dean still searching more, (hints about jack possibly being "off" too / chuck won theory...) as a foundation for future stories in the main spn universe post-15x20. we want to see dean bust out of heaven and find happiness right? well, the seeds for that have been planted. and i knowww that's asking for optimism and faith that we WILL see a continuation in the future, and i get that some people are just doubtful and hopeless, but i really think we will see a continuation in the (maybe not so distant) future. and imo having this foundation to work off w/ dean's recontextualized time in heaven is important for all the things we want to see in a continuation.

and like, even tho i'm annoyed that ppl think his 'ending' now is worse than it was in 15x20, i don't think it's wrong to feel upset, because if that really were where it ended for dean i wouldn't be happy either. but for me the thing is i really really do Not think this is it for dean. i don't think jensen will be satisfied w/ dean staying dead in heaven forever. it completely goes against the thesis of the show, and dean's personal desire for freedom over peace in 'paradise.' and after everything jensen said abt dean + cas reuniting, i think there's a lot of unresolved things in spn that he wants to address, and he'll keep trying to make more spn until we get a better ending for all these characters (bc lbr, sam's ending also sucked. we never saw cas again and all he got was a throwaway line in the finale. jack deserves better too. they all do).

[sloshed-cinema]

The Killer (2023)

Stick to the plan. Anticipate, don’t improvise. Empathy is weakness, weakness is vulnerability. Always get a deal on Amazon Prime. If nothing else, David Fincher is excellent at adding characters to the canon of edgy loners who look in at society and shake their heads, but who edgy perpetually online viewers don’t seem to understand the actual point being made. Tyler Durden, Arthur Fleck, and the Driver from Drive are not me for real. They’re fucking losers. At least this movie makes it more obvious just what a hollow, self-serious individual the Killer is at the end of the day. He’s kind of shallow, his first reference of many being to Popeye the Sailor, and some popular brand name is never far from his lips: he “sees” society for what it is, but still actively participates in its economy. Almost every time he starts to rattle off his mantra, he gets shown to be a clown. He builds himself up, honing his body, focusing his mind, waiting, waiting, waiting, as he readies himself for another contract kill in Paris. Cue the manifesto statement, and lo and behold he’s fucked everything up by shooting the stripper instead of the mystery rich dude mark. Later his best-laid plans are quickly turned into a desperate, all-out brawl with a guy who’s been taking all the creatine. He does get a clean-enough kill on the Expert, but she’s actually perfected the apathy and enlightened nihilism that the Killer professes. She’s gone, but in a way she won. Or at least broken even. (As usual, Tilda is radiant in her one-scene role.) Perhaps in a different setting, the Killer would come across as the Alain Delon character in Le samouraï. The opening sequences even code him that way with the character’s wardrobe of sharp hat and clean, grey clothing. But this film’s structure looks past the steely gaze of the figure and delves into their inner workings, exposing all of the little hypocrisies and flaws that the persona seeks to mask.

While this isn’t as purposeful and showy in its style, a relentless rhythm defines the overall feel of The Killer. Once again, Fincher is shown to be a music buff, tailoring the ethos and mixtape of the central character to a shifting cast of alternative greats. Hell, even the final encounter between killer and client slips in a nod to Sub Pop Records with Claybourne’s tee. What I found to be absolutely egregious was the film’s opening credits. Not even a studio card to ease one into the viewing experience. Just a relentless onslaught of names and shutters turning over images of murder paraphernalia. A very mid-2000s network crime show way to open things. Then again, I’ve seen the Se7en credits, I know how Fincher operates.

THE RULES

SIP

The Killer names a fact or figure.

A form of killing is mentioned.

The Killer drinks from a metal cup.

The Killer starts to rattle off his rules.

BIG DRINK

Chapter title.

The Killer uses a new alias.

Something is put in a garbage bin.

[ask-the-royal-absol]

Charade: (to Destino) "Mhm, mhm. Being a Dark-type is more than being a little butthead, nyaha! Okay, okay--that's not helpful, I'm sorry. Are you proud to be a Dark-type? Striking out at your foes in the night?"

(to Hershel) "Actually, it might be easier for them to use their Z-Crystal if they saw YOU do it first. What moves do you know? Are YOU setting a good example?"

Destino: Is that your best insult? Perhaps you need to work on that. I know not everyone can be as amazing as coming up with insults as I am.

Felix: Ya probably a solid 8/10 when it comes to insultin', pal.

Destino: And you're probably a solid 6/10 when it comes to being a decent friend but I don't complain. Anyway, Hersh, take this joker away. Unless they can get into my league of insults, I don't wanna see them.

Hershel: Very well, my Prime.

*the bisharp grabs you and begins dragging you out.*

Hershel: I do not know how to use this mysterious crystal. The only thing I know is that our ancestors used to use them. I have no knowledge on where to even begin. I suppose my night slash would be the only thing that would work with it possibly but I really do not know. I try my hardest to set a good example for the Prime, though I’m not sure they would choose to follow regardless of what I said. Besides, I do not know whether the Prime would allow for me to use their crystal first.

(Edit: I forgot the face patterns on Charade like the goofy-ass clown I am. I am so sorry.

Edit again: I am not just a clown. I am the entire circus. Forgot the purple. This is why you don’t draw when you’re ill.)