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mcdynamite · 2 years ago

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When everything settles down after Vecnapocalypse, Steve gets a call from the athletic director at Hawkins High School, and a day later, he accepts a part-time position as the assistant coach of the Hawkins High varsity basketball team.

Lucas is obviously stoked, and the other kids concede (after a few minutes of bemoaning Steve's return to the Dark Side) that it's a perfect job for him. Robin screeches with delight, and Nancy tells him she's proud of him, and Jonathan thumps him on the back with a quiet, "Congrats, man," and Eddie?

Well, Eddie just rolls his eyes and makes a joke about the Return of the King that goes right over Steve's head (but has the kids and, wouldn't ya know it, Nancy, grinning) and doesn't say much else.

It's probably stupid, but Eddie has actually (horrifyingly) grown to like hanging out with Steve. Sure, he knows next to nothing about D&D or Lord of the Rings or metal music, but that doesn't seem to matter all that much. He still listens to Eddie rant about all of those aforementioned interests and does his best to understand, even if he doesn't particularly care about the content of Eddie's latest campaign. He lets Eddie play Dio and Metallica and Black Sabbath for him, and even though Eddie can tell he's not really into most of their music, at the end of his "Musication" he gives Eddie a list of the songs he actually liked, so they have some stuff to listen to when they hang out that won't make one of them want to puncture their own eardrums.

He even looks genuinely apologetic (and, dare Eddie say, disappointed?) when he tells Eddie that it's not that he doesn't want to read Lord of the Rings. It's just that he can't, because reading is really fucking hard when the letters won't stop jumping all over the damn place.

The point is: Eddie likes Steve. He likes Steve's sarcastic quips and his attentiveness, and his hilarious but well-meaning and frighteningly successful mothering of the teenagers they apparently co-parent. Eddie likes Steve, and he likes being his friend, and he's afraid that this stupid Assistant Coach job will end up dragging Steve headfirst back into his King Steve days, and Steve will forget all about being friends with Eddie "The Freak" Munson.

It's so, so stupid, because while Eddie likes Steve, he also knows Steve, and he knows that Steve isn't the guy who used to hang around the Tommy Hagans of the world anymore. But the fear is there, and it's still there by the time the school year starts and Steve starts getting busy "prepping" for his new job, which... what? The basketball season doesn't start until January, so what the hell kind of prep would Steve be starting in August?

Eddie wonders, but he doesn't ask. He just anxiously waits to see if Steve will eventually decide to ditch him, and he continues to be quietly delighted when Steve always, always makes time for the two of them to hang out.

The thought of Steve going back into jock-mode still makes him kinda sick, but he'll never tell Steve that. Steve is way too excited for the start of the basketball season, and Eddie is gonna support him the same way Steve supports Eddie at his Corroded Coffin concerts: with begrudging interest and genuine pride, so help him God.

It goes on like this until one day, Eddie's begrudging interest suddenly becomes a little more genuine, when he accidentally stumbles upon what Steve meant for the last three months whenever he said he was "prepping for the season."

He's got plans to hang out with Steve that afternoon, pulling up in his van fifteen minutes late because time management has never been one of his strong suits. Only, when he gets to Casa Harrington, he notices something strange. The garage is open.

The thing is, Steve always parks the Beemer in the driveway. He never uses the garage. Actually, Eddie didn't even realize Steve had a garage at all, until now, but he hears some clanging coming from inside and goes to investigate. He walks past the Beemer (parked in the driveway where it always is) and peers inside, expecting to maybe find Steve... repairing something? Reorganizing? Honestly, he has no clue what he thinks he'll find in there.

What he definitely doesn't expect to find is Steve Harrington in the middle of what appears to be a pretty fucking intense workout – hair and tank top damp with sweat, wearing frankly indecently short shorts, and breathing steadily as he does fucking pull-ups on the bar in his garage, which has apparently been converted into a whole goddamn home gym.

Eddie stops in his tracks and stares, affording himself a moment or two to have a teeny, tiny (enormous) crisis over it.

Steve hasn't noticed him yet, and Eddie can't tear his stupid eyes away from the way Steve's arms tremble from the exertion as he pulls himself up, face pinched into a concentrated frown. Eddie can see him gritting his teeth, can see the muscles in his arms and shoulders straining a little bit. Even worse, every time Steve lowers himself down, his stupid tank top rides up just enough to expose the (not at all soft, apparently) plains of his stomach, glistening with sweat, and God, Eddie wants to lick Steve fucking Harrington's abs like a-

Oh, no.

Oh, fuck no.

Oh, Jesus H. Christ, fucking shit, NO.

Listen... It's not like Eddie hasn't already known for years that he's gay. He's been fully aware of that since middle school. It's the reason his dad kicked him out and sent him to live with Wayne, for fuck's sake. It's just that Eddie has put a lot of effort into pretending his thoughts about Steve Harrington were totally, completely, 100% platonic up until this point, and now he can feel all of that hard work going down the metaphorical drain.

He stands there, stock still with his jaw hinged open, and stares while his brain melts out of his ears and his thoughts begin to race. God, those fucking arms. Eddie's not weak, but he's definitely weaker than Steve, which means Steve could definitely pin Eddie down if he wanted to. In a bed. Against the wall. On the hood of a car. Fuck, on the goddamn floor – Eddie's not picky! All he knows is that he wants Steve to leave the workout for later so Eddie can lick the sweat off of him, which... gross. But also hot. But also-

"Eddie?"

Oh, fuck. How does one talk to the sun?

Steve has noticed him standing there, obviously, which sort of makes Eddie wonder how long he's been staring. Time stopped in Eddie's world the moment a sweaty Steve Harrington entered his field of vision, so he truly has no idea how bad his staring got.

Christ, this is going to be so bad.

So, so bad.

"Eds?" Steve says, his face pinching into a frown. "You okay?"

Oh my god, you moron, say something! Eddie's brain screams at him.

"What?" Smooth. "Uh, yeah! Totally fine. Just, y'know, like, lost in thought, or whatever. Plotting my next demonic attempt at world domination. The usual."

Steve looks at him like he's grown a second head, which... is fair. But Eddie's fumbling attempt at speech is at least embarrassing enough to take precedence over the cacophonous sound of whatever Ode to Abs his mind was attempting to compose, and Eddie feels like he can think a little more clearly.

"Ah, fuck," Eddie mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose. He sighs and looks at Steve apologetically. "I'm sorry, dude. I swear I'm fine. It's just been a weird day."

Steve cocks his head to the side like a particularly inquisitive puppy, and oh God, it's adorable. Eddie loathes how adorable it is. "Good weird?" Steve asks. "Or bad weird?"

Eddie ponders his answer for a moment, then replies with, "Weird weird."

That's enough to startle a laugh out of Steve, who shakes his head and wraps a towel around his neck. "Fair enough, man. Sorry about all of this, by the way." He gestures vaguely towards the home gym in his garage and shrugs sheepishly. "I was gonna be done before you got here but I sorta... lost track of time, I guess." He's got an unreadable look on his stupidly beautiful face, and Eddie doesn't like that at all. He doesn't like that one bit.

But he decides not to overthink it and brushes Steve's apology off with a wave of his hand. "It's whatever, dude. Might wanna shower, though." The ‘otherwise I might take it upon my gay little self to lick you clean’ is left blessedly unsaid.

Steve laughs again, and just like that, things start to feel a bit less earth-shattering. They banter for a bit longer, then Steve really does go to take a quick shower, and they spend the rest of the night lying on the floor of Steve's living room, listening to the metal mix tape they made together and bitching about their brood of teenagers.

Weirdly, though, after that day, Steve seems to be working out a lot more frequently. As in almost every single time he and Eddie have plans. Day after day, Eddie is treated to the sight of Steve Harrington looking like a goddamn Greek god, and day after day, Steve catches his eye and smiles before abandoning his equipment and acting like Eddie's world hasn't been completely turned on its head.

It's starting to drive him kind of insane, honestly, and his pining has gotten so bad that even Gareth and Jeff know.

"He's just so pretty!" Eddie whines for what feels like the thousandth time.

His band mates simply exchange a long-suffering look and let him ramble.

It all comes to a head in November, just before Thanksgiving, when Eddie shows up and once again finds Steve finishing a workout. Just like always, Steve shoots him a good-natured grin and greets him before heading inside for a quick shower, and just like always, Eddie waits downstairs.

NOT like always, however, this time Steve comes jogging down the stairs with wet hair, wearing a pair of joggers and... absolutely nothing else.

It's been a long time since Eddie last saw Steve without a shirt on (since the day at Lover's Lake when they found watergate, to be precise), and suddenly Eddie is remembering why he'd immediately pulled out a cigarette to calm down that day. Only this time it's even worse, because Steve has really been putting effort into these workouts, and it shows.

His chest is toned and covered in coarse hair that Eddie kind of wants to tug on, just to see what sort of sounds Steve would make if he did. He's got the makings of an honest-to-God six pack just barely visible on his abdomen, partially obscured by scars Eddie recognizes from looking at his own in the mirror. Steve's are slightly smaller and not as deep, but they clearly came from the same sets of tiny jaws, and Eddie finds them weirdly comforting, these matching scars that they share. Steve's look pale in contrast against his skin, and God, Eddie just wants to kiss them. He wants to worship them and every other inch of the man who bears them.

The man who definitely just said something Eddie didn't hear because he was too busy trying not to pass out from mere proximity to something so beautiful.

"Sorry, what?" Eddie asks, shaking his head violently in an attempt to dispel his traitorous thoughts.

Steve smirks, but Eddie can see the soft fondness in his eyes when he cocks his head to the side and repeats the words Eddie missed the first time. "I asked if you see something you like, Munson," Steve teases, one hand carding wet hair out of his face, and Eddie just blinks at him.

Play it off, play it off, play it off, his brain supplies helpfully. He can totally play this off. Dudes stare at their friends’ chests all the time, right?

"What?" he practically squeaks. "I- well... no, wait, um... ah, fuck."

So much for plausible deniability.

He's just beginning to feel vaguely panicky when Steve seems to catch on, and he's right in front of Eddie in an instant, concerned, hazel eyes gazing down at Eddie's grimacing face.

"Hey," Steve says, reaching out like he wants to touch Eddie but thinks better of it. "It's okay, man. You're okay. I'm just messing with you."

The impact of his words is instant, and Eddie can feel his face heating up. Of course Steve was joking. God, Eddie is such an idiot.

"Right," Eddie says, voice strained. He rubs his face with both hands, shaking his head lightly. "Duh. Obviously you were teasing." His voice sounds strange even to his own ears, and he's got a weird feeling of anticipation in his stomach that tells him that he's already shown too many of his cards.

"I mean, yeah..." Steve says, seeming nervous for the first time since Eddie got here. His hands flit from the back of his neck to his hair to his waist, like he doesn't know what to do with them. "Teasing is, like, flirting 101, so..."

Eddie freezes.

"Oh my God, wait..." he says slowly, finally daring to meet Steve's confused eyes. "Flirting?"

Steve looks utterly perplexed now, and he does that thing where he cocks his head to the side in confusion.

It's still adorable. Fuck, why is it so adorable?

"Um... yes?" He studies Eddie, seems to register the shock on his face, and then matches it with shock of his own. "Wait, you didn't know? I thought you knew!"

"I most certainly did not!" Eddie counters, feeling a bit like he's having an out-of-body experience.

"Oh my God," Steve says. "Oh my God, Eddie, I've been flirting with you for, like, months!"

"Months?!" Eddie's voice has officially reached the stratosphere.

"Yes!" Steve yelps. He looks torn between laughing and crying, though Eddie thinks it'll be mildly hilarious no matter what choice he makes. "Jesus, dude, I winked at you while I was doing pull-ups last week! What did you think that was?"

"A hallucination!" Eddie says immediately. "You're straight, Harrington!"

At that, Steve snorts, then shakes his head.

Eddie's pretty sure his brain is melting by now.

"Yeah, um, no," Steve says firmly. "I'm definitely not straight."

"You... I... What? Since when?"

"Well..." Steve begins, briefly glancing away. "Since forever, technically. Probably. But officially, since that time I made out with Tommy H. after we got wasted at a party sophomore year. And if that wasn't enough proof, I think the amount of time I’ve spent staring at your ass lately definitely is."

Eddie stares at him. "Am I dead?" he asks dumbly. "Is this Heaven? Am I having a fucking stroke?"

Steve's laughter is bright when it rings through his living room, and Eddie is grateful when Steve carefully raises a hand to cup his cheek, because the soft touch is grounding in the best way.

"Definitely not dead, Eds," Steve says. "And shit, I hope you're not having a stroke. How many fingers am I holding up?"

Eddie just blinks at him, because Steve has one hand on Eddie's cheek and the other on Eddie's arm, and he's definitely not holding up any fingers. "Zero, Harrington, what the fuck?" he says weakly.

Steve laughs – no, scratch that, he giggles. He fucking giggles.

If Eddie isn't dead yet, he's about to be.

"Good. See?" Steve says. "Not having a stroke."

"I don't think that's how strokes work, dude," Eddie says weakly.

"No?" Steve asks, though he's still smiling, and he looks wholly unbothered by Eddie's doubting of his medical prowess.

Eddie shakes his head, eyes wide as Steve huffs out a laugh and slips an arm around his waist to pull him closer. They're practically chest to chest now, and Eddie is suddenly reminded of how very shirtless Steve currently is. He's mildly horrified by the way his hands tremble slightly when he rests them flat against the center of Steve's chest, but it's not like anyone can blame him! He's only ever kissed a couple of people before, and now he's somehow found himself in the arms of a half naked Steve Harrington. So, yeah, he's feeling a little jittery. Sue him.

If Steve notices the jitters, though, he doesn't mention it. Instead, he gives Eddie a soft, disarming smile that makes Eddie feel pathetically weak at the knees. "So..." Steve says, cheeks turning a pretty pink color. "Hi."

A slightly manic bark of laughter bursts from Eddie's lungs, but it only seems to make Steve smile wider. "Yeah, hi, Stevie," Eddie breathes.

And then he nearly stops breathing completely when Steve's thumb drags gently across his cheek. It's such a sweet gesture that Eddie thinks he might melt right into the floorboards.

"So..." Steve murmurs again, gaze not leaving Eddie's. "It has recently been brought to my attention that you didn't realize I was flirting with you this whole time."

Eddie doesn't need a mirror to know that his face flushes bright red at Steve's words.

"But I have been," Steve continues. He bites his lip, almost like he's nervous, which is ridiculous because what the fuck is there about Eddie that could be making Steve Harrington nervous right now? "Like, I've been doing it constantly, because you're funny, and sweet, and sort of adorable, but also kinda hot? Y'know, because you have the tattoos and stuff, and you're all dramatic all the time, and it's hot, but then sometimes you do that thing where you hide your face behind your hair, and it's so fucking cute, Eddie, I mean..."

Steve trails off, cheeks growing even pinker after seemingly realizing that he's been rambling, and Eddie feels like he's going insane.

"Anyway," Steve says, clearing his throat. "I like you, Eddie. Like, a lot. And I've sort of been dying to kiss you for, like, months, so-"

Eddie never lets Steve finish his sentence, because the moment the word kiss leaves his mouth, Eddie is leaning forward and pressing their lips together in a soft, fleeting kiss that's over far too fast.

So fast, in fact, that it takes a moment for reality to catch up to Eddie afterwards. He's already pulling away by the time it hits him: he just kissed Steve Harrington.

He, Eddie fucking Munson, just kissed Steve fucking Harrington.

"Holy shit," Eddie mutters, gaze flitting back and forth between Steve's wide eyes. "Holy shit."

There's a brief pause, and then Steve starts to laugh.

It starts as a soft chuckle and slowly transforms into bright, elated laughter that echoes off the walls and bathes the whole room in sunlight, never mind the rainy day outside. It's light and happy and beautiful, and Eddie unfreezes after a moment to add his own laughter to the mix. He drops his head onto Steve's shoulder, a shiver running down his spine when Steve's arms come around him automatically, like they were made to fit together like this.

Eddie wonders if maybe they were.

When their laughter finally dies down, Steve carefully pulls back just enough to meet Eddie's eyes again, and Eddie smiles shyly up at him.

"Sorry," Eddie says without a hint of guilt in his voice. "You said the word kiss and I panicked."

Steve just shakes his head and grins. "See? Like I said - adorable." One of his hands raises to cradle Eddie's cheek again, and Eddie doesn't hesitate before leaning into the touch. "But if it's okay with you," Steve says softly, “I'd really like to give you a proper kiss, now."

And yep, it's official. Steve Harrington is going to be the death of him.

Eddie can't fucking wait.

He nods and lets his gaze flit down to Steve's lips for a fraction of a second before Steve is closing the distance between them, and oh... this is so much better than the quick, vaguely frantic press of lips they exchanged only a few moments ago. Eddie takes back every judgemental comment he's ever made about the girls who were obsessed with Steve Harrington in high school, because he gets it now.

Oh, God, he gets it.

Because Steve kisses him, soft and sure, like Eddie is the only thing that matters in all the world. It's gentle and sweet and perfect – not an ounce of hesitation in the way Steve slots their lips together. And then Steve just... stays there, like he's giving Eddie a moment to catch up, to process what's happening.

He's so goddamn patient – so fucking kind – and Christ, Eddie adores him for it.

Steve pulls back just enough to break the kiss, and Eddie doesn't whine. He doesn't. But it's okay, because Steve doesn't leave him hanging for long, threading his fingers through Eddie's curls and using them as leverage to tug him even closer into a kiss that turns Eddie's legs to jelly. Steve's tongue slides against Eddie's so beautifully, and his hands are so strong, and he smells like lemony soap and minty toothpaste (did Steve brush his teeth after showering? God, he's ridiculous. He’s perfect.) and Eddie can feel the muscles in Steve's chest shift whenever they move, and, and, and...

And yeah, this time when Steve pulls away, breath coming quicker and eyes shining with happiness, Eddie does whine. Or maybe it's a whimper. Maybe it's both. Christ, Eddie doesn't care. He'll keep making that noise forever if Steve keeps looking at him like this.

"Fuck," Eddie breathes. He knows he probably looks embarrassingly awestruck, but he can't find it in himself to care. "How are you so fucking hot, Steve? What the fuck?" His face is on fire, but Steve just laughs – nope, there's that giggle again – and kisses Eddie's forehead.

Eddie's pretty sure he's melting, but honestly? Worth it.

"I don't know if you've noticed," Steve teases, "but I've actually been working out a lot lately..."

Not even Eddie's lovesickness could protect Steve from the playful smack he gets for that.

"Did I notice?" Eddie huffs. "You're the worst, Harrington."

Steve just smiles and kisses him again.

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squinch-depraved · 29 days ago

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CAN U DO COOL SEXY HOT READER TAKES SCHLATTS VIRGINITY?! but aged down like they’re both in college together

this one had me giggling and kicking my feet when i received it

reader and schlatt are both 20 (my age :3) (ok so i have/will never go to college so i hope this makes sense also lc!schlatt because he will not leave my brain)

CW: breeding kink if u squint, does this count as corruption kink? idk

you had a few classes together, ended up being partners for a project

actually got along surprisingly well

hung out a few times a week for a month or two

and then it was more frequent

almost every day this dude would just show up at your apartment; you have no idea how he came to know your schedule

if it wasn't him you'd be scared

and like, it's not because he doesn't look scary- he does, he's tall as fuck and has this serial killer stare

but you're not afraid of him because every time he's around you he acts like a complete loser

he stares at you when he thinks you aren't looking, a look of obsession in his eyes

the focus he has on your reflection as you put on lip gloss in the mirror is unmatched in any of his classes

you were supposed to be going to a party together, evident by your outfit that he can't decide if he likes or not- it shows a lot of skin, and while that'd be fine if it was just you two, there's bound to be lots of other guys eyeing you up all night

and he just can't stand the thought of that!

so what is he to do but fake receiving a text saying some faculty were crashing the event and it would be best to stay home?

and you were astounded at this boy's nerve, you got this dressed up? you looked this good? and he pretends the function's cancelled?

but you go along with it, pretending to be bummed out, playing his little game with him

"damn. was really hoping to get some dick tonight," you sigh

his brain kinda short circuits

and he mumbles something

hook, line, and

"what? sorry, i couldn't hear you, the music's loud," you tilt your head, turning down the volume

"i said i'm right here."

sinker :)

you snort derisively at him

"what makes you think i want you?"

you two had talked a lot in the months you had known each other, and sex came up a few times

you knew (before even talking to him) that he was a virgin

and he knew (before even talking to you) that you were a slut

but god, he needed you the second he saw you- needed you to be his first. his only.

so he swallows his pride and looks up at you from his spot on your floor with the most pitiful eyes

"i don't think you want me. i think i want you and you need a service for the night."

"a service?? jesus, schlatt, don't kid yourself. you wouldn't be doing shit, i'd be the one doing all the work because you have no clue what you're doing."

"then teach me," he begs. his voice is like you've never heard it before, whiny and breathy

and you roll your eyes before giving in, reaching a hand down to help him up

you guide him to lay down on your bed and he just sits there all tense, unable to relax because he's so nervous

until you tell him to take his pants off

and he's tearing them over his thighs, and they're down on the floor

and the tent in his boxers?

jesus christ

you figured he would be on the bigger side, but he looked massive, and you couldn't even clearly see his length yet

you sit there for a bit, taking in the sight of him splayed out amongst your stuffed animals

only hot bitches have stuffies on their beds, btw

and his face is sooo red, his breathing is uneven, his eyes are running all over your body

"have you like... ever been touched?" you ask him, unsure of how gentle you need to be

but gentle is not what he wants, not at all

"yeah. just... not all the way."

he can't meet your eyes now

so you smirk and climb over to him, hopping on top of him and savoring the whimper he lets out when you sit down on his clothed bulge

"and you want me to be your first time going all the way?"

you use one finger to tilt his chin to look at you

and he just melts

nodding while he stares into your eyes with pure adoration

the eye contact is intense, you find it hard to tear your gaze from his

but eventually you lean in and kiss him, taking his head in your hands

schlatt moans into your mouth when you slide your tongue in, giving in completely and letting you explore his mouth

and when you bite his bottom lip slightly when you pull away?

he moans sooo sluttily

you're grinding down onto his lap at this point, enjoying the constant noises the friction pulls from his lips

he's fucking mortified but he has to grab your hips super tightly and try to get you to stop

because if you keep going like this, he's gonna finish in his boxers and he thinks he would have to leave and never see you again if that happened

so you take pity on him, stopping your movements to press kisses to his neck

which he finds out he also loves

"is it okay if i leave marks?" you whisper in his ear

and his dick throbs so hard

"please," he responds in a quiet voice, staring at the ceiling while he pictures his friends seeing the evidence of him fucking the hottest person on campus

you oblige wayyy too eagerly, biting down hard and sucking deep purple marks all over his exposed neck

only pulling away when he was littered with dark bruises and teeth marks

the whole time he was letting out the cutest noises, gasping and groaning and sputtering how good you felt

silly boy, he has no idea what he's in for

once you're done having fun marking your territory, you scoot back and peel his boxers off

and you try not to react, but your eyes widen at the sight of his cock springing up and smacking his abdomen

he takes in your hungry expression and mistakes it for something negative

"what? wha's wrong?"

he sounds so scared

it takes you a few gruelling seconds before you shake your head and respond

"nothing, just. holy shit," you mumble

"what???" schlatt asks, sitting up slightly

"you're fucking huge, dude!! that's all, jesus... i just needed a second to process, sorry."

ego boosted

you will never hear the end of that

but anyways

he stutters, unable to finish whatever he was saying when you take him in your hand and stroke him gently

your eyes are trained on his groin, his on your face while you greedily watch as you play with him

he's so fucking loud

bucking his hips up into your hand

you're barely doing anything, he's that desperate for your touch

when you take his tip in your mouth, he lets out a strained gasp and tries to cover his mouth with his hand

you laugh mockingly and pull it from his face

"i wanna hear you!! this isn't as fun if i don't get to hear those pathetic noises you keep making," you tease

he just groans, eyes fluttering, and tilts his head back, giving in to how good you're making him feel

you smile at him and take as much of him into your mouth as you can, plunging him deep into your throat and making sloppy noises as you suck on him

he sounds like a fucking WHORE, whining and fucking up into your face

you let him have his fun, but pull off when he starts breathing a lot faster

he opens his eyes in surprise and cries out at the loss of contact, chest heaving

"why the fuck would you stop???"

he's so desperate, it's adorable

"can't have you cumming down my throat, then i can't ride you, can i?"

you raise one brow as you ask him, and he reaches his hand to hold yours subconsciously

a glance at his large fingers intertwining with yours stirs something in your stomach and you realize for the first time that you're really enjoying this

"please..." he trails off, unsure of what he's asking for

you watch his face for a moment, inspecting his needy expression, and decide to take pity on him

he watches you so intensely as you take off your jean shorts

and nearly creams himself when you just rip a hole in your fishnets instead of properly taking them off

and the seconds are dragging by so slowly as you position yourself on top of him

until you meet his eyes, asking for permission, and he nods vigorously

and you just sink down onto him, plunging his entire length between your velvet walls

schlatt's eyes glaze over as he stares up at you; he's never felt anything so good

you give him a few minutes to take in how soft you are on the inside before starting to move your hips

he groans with every bounce, so loud that you make a mental note to apologize to your roommate later in case they're home and hearing this

"you can touch me, y'know? you don't gotta just lay there and take it," you pant as you work masterfully on top of him

a more passionate grunt than usual leaves his lips and he immediately snakes his hands up to rest on your ass, squeezing and kneading it like he's holding on for dear life

and, maybe he feels like he is. you're riding him so fucking well that he swears he's dreaming, and his grip on your behind may well be the only thing keeping him grounded

it doesn't take long before he tells you what you had expected, but what he adds at the end throws you for a loop

"i'm gonna cum, but please, please don't stop. just keep going, i can go a few more rounds. please, y/n, i'm begging you," he stutters out

you clench around him and he yells, nails leaving deep angry crescent marks in the flesh of your rear end as he paints your insides white

about a minute later, he catches his breath somewhat and asks, "can i fuck you now?"

he sounds so sweet

like he really wants to make you feel good

so you let him try, positioning yourself on your hands and knees in front of him so that he can hit from behind

takes him a second to get the position right but he slides right in and starts going at you hard

you can't help the moans that slip out, and every noise you make spurs him on to keep going harder, faster, deeper

he's trying so hard to make you cum, you can tell, but he's so inexperienced that he finishes in you again before he can get you anywhere close

so when he lets out a frustrated, "fuck!" you reach behind you to grab his hand and bring it around to your front, lining his fingers up with your clit

"feel that? that's what you're looking for," you pant, pushing your ass as flush against him as you could. "play with it, see if you can figure it out on your own, and it's okay if you can't, i'm here to teach you."

he lets out a deep breath and starts thrusting again, rubbing circles into your sensitive nub

you continue to let out noises so he knows what works for you and what doesn't, and you've gotta hand it to him, he's a really fast learner

because it takes like five minutes before him slamming into you combined with the pattern of figure-eights he settled on tracing on your clit makes you cum

you get unbelievably tight around him as you climax, and the sound of you screaming his name makes his eyes roll back into his head while he spills in you one final time

you collapse when he pulls out, instructing him to help you to the bathroom

gotta teach him the importance of aftercare, right?

so he picks you up and carries you to the toilet, setting you down gently on your feet before stepping out and closing the door behind him to give you your privacy

best believe he stays right outside the door, though

he's not going anywhere for a long time. you're his now

#x reader #jschlatt x reader #schlatt x reader #jschlatt x you #schlatt x you #jschlatt smut #schlatt smut #jschlatt x y/n #schlatt x y/n

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allaboutnayeli · 2 months ago

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KIKA NAZARETH as your girlfriend

author notes: if kika ever get cornrows, i'm deleting this and i'm not playing 🫶🏾 anyways let's totally act like this wasn't posted because the next part of my alessia series is taking ages.. totally not the reason.

━ KIKA is the type of girlfriend who loves to tease you. it's her #1 love language. it doesn't matter the time or the day, she will find a reason to tease you. sometimes it's about how much water you're drinking practice ("feeling extra thirsty today, huh?") or she's all up on you after a long day at practice when you both are way too sweaty to be all on top of eachother.

━ AT the same time, kika is so caring. she carries your bag when you two go to practice, loves to open doors for you, does little things like tying your shoe or making sure to keep snacks in her bag because she knows how you like to snack in the car on the way back home after a long training session, and more.

━ SHE lowkey has an ego. kika will make cringy jokes about how fine she is and how she's the prize in the relationship. at the end of the day, she really sees you as the prize.

━ CLINGY as hell. even at practice when it's not the most appropriate. she wants to be around you and touching you even if it's the smallest of touches. her favorite subtle way to be close is to hold pinky's.

━ IF you don't know portuguese, kika is happy to teach you. not without some teasing, of course. she'll force you to cuddle her after every lesson and wants kisses everytime you get a word right. she calls it "positive reinforcement" and you know damn well she doesn't get what that word means.

━ SHE enjoys vacationing with you. traveling some of the world during off-season is a fun pasttime, especially with a pretty woman on her side. kika will take you to places she already been, so you two can explore it together. you always ask her wouldn't she rather go somewhere new and she always says "no, this is somewhere new because i never been here with you."

━ DEFINITELY the type to want a dog or cat right after you guys move in together. she thinks it's the last piece to your lil family (until kids at least). if you don't care for having a pet, she'll try to convince you by listing everyone else in the team who has a pet. "you don't want pet FOMO, do you?" is her favorite line.

━ A huge family person and wants you to meet her family as soon as possible. the first vacation you guys go on is to portugal to see her family for a short while, then off to where you are from to see your family. kika prides herself on getting along well with your parents and whatever siblings you have.

━ THE type to do "one month anniversary" just because she finds it cute.

#kika nazareth x reader #fc barcelona x reader #woso x reader #woso fluff

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ay-chuu · 3 months ago

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Thank you, next? (Ex!)

Obey me boys (brothers + dateables <except simeon>) past lovers hcs and thoughts about why mc is different from them. <AKA why they fell for you> (By the way i didnt specify any gender in ex's because i talk about all genders!!) Mc is gn too!

(Warning: kinda suggestive. Talking about one night stands and pls, pls spare my grammer mistakes eng. Is not my first language 😔🤙🏾)

Notes: idk why but i couldn't write for my fav, simeon. Maybe i will add him to this post in future

Lucifer

I dont think his pride let him date someone ever. He stayed in the line of courting and flirting. Like really a lot. He just wanted to see if they were going to gain his affection or not. The persons im actually talking about is always... prideful like him. He never gave a chance to people like Diavolo. (So diavolo was his first in this category AHEM!) Loyals to noble, citizen to high society. It didnt matter to him. He flirted everyone who catched his attention (which is really hard...) and when it happened it just ended with some one night stands. He never felt love. He just liked them for fun, passion or just to... experience. Witches, sorcerers, demons, angels... it really didnt matter to him.

Personas like Mc was out of his lines naturally. His pride didnt even make him thought about it. But as his brothers started to be fond of you, he realised what he misses. The real sincerity he wants, the real experience he aches... that was the first realization of his love for you.

Mammon

He dated people that mostly like him. careless, luxury-loving, praise-loving and boastful... you know the starboys, stargirls, star people like 'amazing' as him. Models, actresses, actors, singers, idols... and even though he never dated a witch he had some one night stands. Sorry for bad example but until meeting mc, dating for him was like leanardo di'caprios love life 👋🏼😭 (HE DOESN'T HAVE THE AGE PROBLEM PLS)

The reason he fell hard was how he actually felt some really careness from mc unlike some fake praises or just you know... unnecessary exaggerated sentences. But with mc, he really felt like being listened. Being cared, being not put the role of some jerk.

Leviathan

None. Except you count his 3 months virtual lover lolol?? He was just jealous of his brothers and wanted to experience it but he just really felt like doing some lovers rp in that time. Even his brothers doesn't know this too.

Does he really have to explain? You always acted him nice. Never saw him as a key of something. You really loved to listen his yapping. And never judged him for a something that he actually screwed. Yoy accepted him as a friend, and he did too. But as some time passes... he realised he was in love with his true friend.

Satan

Dating? No. Courting? No. Flirting? For some fun and lust, yes. Just these. Except that he loved to be unique socialite. He loved to feel the 'i want to be with you' eyes on him. He never admits this too. But like a cat, he just loved to gain it. His social connections are everwhere so from witches to sorcerers, models to artists, lower demons to nobles he always got the attention he wanted. But like i said it was just some fun. A passion that lasts as long match. Thats all.

You accepted the challenge of peeling his barriers. And the first time you did... he was really angry. (The moment you declined his pact offer) he really didnt like to fail his achieves. But you didnt like it either. He loved that. But all aside, you found his existential crisis a solve. And you just did it because it became right to you. Not because you wanted to impress him... or lucifer. He felt this in his long life for first.

Asmodeus

... do you really need me to explain? All people. He tried every kind, sort, type, every! As long as he felt like a new kind of challenge, a new kind of lust and being worshiped. When i say everyone i mean it. From the devildom to human world. Even when he was an angel. He was just a bit more careful and less playful then.

Not being able to charm you? Challenge accepted. Being x2 times AND emotionally charmed by you? Take it back. TAKE IT BACK! He always loved to being attached not to attached to someone! But as he knows you more, he realize this is also a new kind of feeling! He always thought live long loves were going to make him so bored and prisoned at some point. And he was right about being prisoned. But did he care? Not anymore.

Beelzebub

Nahh even he did tried to date [he was just curious] it backfired. Whenever the person asked for some alone time or date he always declined because of some kind of planned event with his brothers. And with some time this caused the relationships end naturally. His family was always first for him.

And thats the reason. His family is always FIRST for him. And you, who saved his brother and made his family all happy and together again also were a family member. You were just new in it. You did what he couldnt. He was so grateful to have you... and his admiration for you turned to love. Because he realized how perfect you personality was. Because he realized how his family was healed with you.

Belphegor

He probably always made fun of this topic like an emo boy 🥲 whenever he felt some urges like lust he just had some one night stands. He was so focused on his self hatred side and that made him always look down on love.

And now he also hates about himself for this too. He always felt guilt how this way of thinking made him hurt you. How someone like you, just a human, free him from lucifer and... his own prison. He killed your trust. He literally strangled it with his hand. But still, you found a way to find a new trust again and show to him. He really believed he really didn't deserve you. And when he realized that, he knew what he was feeling.

Diavolo

He did it for learning duty. As the prince of devildom he must know how to court a lady, gentleman or anybody. So he really courted lots of person. He was really kind to them. Even though he was forced to do so with some of them (ahem politic reasons) he never dropped his perfect act. But problem was here. It was all act. He never felt like saying the things he actually said. Or when he spent the night away with them he always felt so weird after with it. Still knowing he was going to marry a demon someday and going to do that anyways, he did not think so much on it.

But never he did think he would fallen love with a human that he invited. At first he really tried to deny and reason himself. Like even though he did break all the 3 barriers and connected them, this didn't gave a permission to have you. Still, he didnt care. He always acted like a good prince and he still does. Doesn't he deserves some really sincerity. Doesn't he deserves your kind actions. Even if its a little bit, doesn't he deserves you?

Barbatos

This mf... bro is the kind of parent that did all kind of things but never let his son doing it. I mean it. When he was using his power freely he did lots of sins about love. Breaking hearts, seducing someone taken to have it himself, then leave them to start a new adventure... man was the owner of the song: heartless. But since he started to serve as diavolo's butler, he changed all of his personas about this. Even his one night stands was so rare. And he is acting like a such a parent about this too. Like when diavolo starts to say about his new courtship bro is yapping like "may i meet them first my lord?" . If there was a thing that didn't changed about him, this was how slowly he would give himself to someone.

And this happened with you too. When he sensed your interest, he hid himself pretty well. But the trouble was, Barbatos realized that your interest was more of a pure curiosity than the curiosity he had experienced in the past. In fact, many people had approached him like this in the past. The difference was that now he had really changed. Goodness, did many year let him forget what was exciting about this... but no. This was so much better. Because for a first time, he wanted to give in really. For a first time he wanted to last it long. Yes he changed a lot. And he wished he did it sooner.

Solomon

I do not think in game he had 700 wives and 300 concubine BUT i think he dated some people for benefits. Like more power, knowledge, etc. Also he had a loong life as human so im sure he had sone interests. But he never felt... the one for him. He just felt nice, giggly, also got the things he wanted. Thats all. "It was nice while it lasted" is the quote for him.

At first he was amused how every brother started to fall for you one by one. This got him curious. He actually thought you were like him and always found a way to charm someone to make them do the things you wanted. But he didn't expect you to be REALLY get attached to brothers because you love them. And it was this easy for you. He was all alone in his thoughts and goals almost in every inch of his life. But you came, didn't question him, just wanted to help him with his loneliness like you did the brothers. You didn't even asked more from him but he wanted to give you more. So he ofdered you to be his apprentice. For him, you were a diamond he had been searching in underground for decades.

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forgeofthenine · 10 months ago

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Here with another polite request and more compliments to your writing. I turned on post notifs so that I can read everything as soon as you post it. Thank you for feeding us so well with the tieflings content.

How would the tiefling bachelors react to you telling them you love them for the first time?

Thank you so much for the support Maira! It's honestly such a huge compliment to hear people have notifs on for my posts. This was a very cute prompt to write so I went a bit short and sweet with it (and even a bit silly in Dammon and Rolans parts). I hope you enjoy!

The bachelors when you say you love them for the first time

Dammon

Dammon is so happy when you say you love him for the first time

He's definitely the type to happily say 'I love you' first without expectations of you saying it back

But when you do reciprocate he just beams

The grin on his face is so wide and handsome, the corners of his eyes crinkling slightly as he smiles

Gathers you up in his arms and gives you a little spin

Absolutely covers your face in kisses while telling you that he loves you in infernal

Dammon is absolutely glowing for days too, spends so much time thinking and daydreaming about it

So much so the others around him will call the poor blacksmith out

Cue Rolans snark about Dammon having more than just steel on his mind

He doesn't mind the distraction though, if anything he embraces it

It's just so exciting to know you feel so strongly about him

Dammon lives for hearing you say you love him, whether it's the first time or the hundredth

Zevlor

I think you might've broken him, honestly

His reaction is so cute, the wide eyes, how he stops whatever movement he might've been making

The blush that depends the red on his cheeks until he looks like a cherry-

Zevlor doesn't respond at first because he's honestly surprised you feel the same way for him as he does you

He realises he's handsome and can be charming when the need arises, but he never dreamed someone like you would feel so strongly for him

Absolutely wants to kiss you, might even do it before saying he loves you back

Might end up murmuring it against your lips before going in for a second kiss

Zevlors so flustered and sweet, wanting to reciprocate but feeling so out of practice

It's a huge self esteem boost for him though and you can tell with the way he carries himself just a little more pride

Another one that never tires of hearing you say those three words, they're all Zevlor needs to make his day perfect

Rolan

Rolan is a confident man, some would say overly so

He never really runs out of things to say

Until you tell him those three words that make his mouth go drier than a desert in shock

The wizards loved you for months now, maybe since he first met you, but to hear that you love him too?

He's like Karlach where he just responds by near shouting 'I love you, too' back, the words tumbling out of his mouth before his brain catches up

It's genuinely embarrassing for him for a moment, until you pull him in for a kiss

Now he's suddenly a lot less worried about what he just said and how he said it

Despite his wonderful memory, Rolan craves hearing you say it more and more

He positively preens every time you say it and the sight of his pleased smile is honestly to handsome to bear

The only time he'll be less pleased is when you happen to let it slip around Cal and Lia

The two of you will never escape the kissy noises that follow or chants of the two of you 'sitting in a tree', but even the ever exasperated Rolan wouldn't have it any other way

#bri answers #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 x reader #bg3 x reader #baldurs gate 3 dammon #bg3 dammon #dammon x reader #baldurs gate 3 zevlor #bg3 zevlor #zevlor x reader #baldurs gate 3 rolan #bg3 rolan #rolan x reader

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redxx95 · 4 months ago

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Exploring Kurosawa's internalized homophobia and compulsive heteronormativity

oh yea baby we bustin out the Big Words for this one 😎

This was supposed to be posted at the end of pride month but Life happened and it got delayed a lot 😩 So yea happy pride month (and happy birthday Kurosawa I guess 😂)

(btw I think I've never mentioned this on any of my other posts but english is not my first language, so if anything I write ever sounds awkward, that's probably why 😅) (also I had to merge a bunch of images to get around the image limit, this post is really long, the word count is at 1930 words 💀)

Hope you guys enjoy the read! 💞

Spoilers for anything up to vol 11

Let me start this by saying that there's no actual textual evidence of Kurosawa being gay (rather than bi/pan), so this interpretation is definitely veering towards headcanon territory. I'm also not trying to establish this as the only Correct opinion and anyone is of course allowed to have their own sexuality headcanons, this is very healthy and valid 👍

Kurosawa's internalized homophobia

The first scene I want to put under a magnifying glass is this one.

Let's examine what's going on here: Kurosawa has just tried to kiss Adachi, whose hesitation he perceived as disgust. Then he pretends it was disgusting for him too, because he thinks that is the average reaction anyone would have, extending this to Adachi as well. The way he says "who'd be into that?" is already lowkey homophobic, but the japanese line makes it even more evident: "普通嫌だよな" (= "Normally, you'd dislike that right?"). Keyword here being "普通" = "normal, ordinary", implying that anyone who would like that is abnormal. So what does that say about him then, who was so happy to get the chance to kiss another man? This is pretty much textbook internalized homophobia, where he has accepted what he perceives to be the general opinion on gay people and has made those values his own, hating himself for it (albeit only briefly here), which is why he internally apologizes to Adachi.

This is not the only instance of him feeling like that, although this next part is slightly more speculative than the more obvious example above.

So we all know that Kurosawa is a jealous, jealous man. It's one of his defining character traits and it's often the source of conflict and comedy alike. But he does not express his jealousy equally across genders. With men he has this strong rivalry where he needs to prove himself better and more worthy of Adachi's attention.

But with women he has a different approach: gently coaxing them away from him, lest they realize what a catch Adachi really is.

So, why this difference? The answer I have is that he doesn't actually believe he can compete with a woman. If Adachi wants to be close with a man, Kurosawa thinks it might as well be him, he's the best option after all. But if Adachi wants a woman, he cannot offer anything and is therefore the inferior option. He believes this even after he found out Adachi's not completely repulsed at the idea of being with a man. Even if Adachi's okay with men, he'll always prefer a woman.

And whenever he imagines anyone else with Adachi, it's always a woman, specifically Fujisaki, which he believes is "his type".

And he at least thinks he's very far away from that ideal. (He's not but that's a topic for a different essay.) If anyone's wondering why he even bothers at all then if he's so sure that a woman will out-compete him, I think the lyrics from the anime opening actually put it best, specifically the last verse:

I have these impatient feelings I doubt this love will come to fruition But still I can't give up this happiness There's a feeling here I can't resist A love like a castle in the sky

So basically, his plan is that he might as well ride the high of his first ever crush as far as it will go, intercepting where he can to prolong it just that little bit further, until it all inevitably comes to an end. (a castle in the sky = an unreachable dream) This plan kind of fluctuates throughout volumes 1-3 as Adachi gives him a bunch of mixed signals, but it holds true most of the time.

Adachi's side

Now I'd like to highlight the way Adachi actually thinks about their relationship, because it serves as a great contrast to Kurosawa's assumptions about him.

Throughout the first three volumes we see him grapple with his newfound feelings for Kurosawa, but he (almost) never puts his gender at the forefront of his musings. The manga makes it very clear that it's his lack of romantic experience and low self esteem that make it hard for him to accept Kurosawa's affections, and not the fact that he's a man.

This second page here being his own little gay awakening, where he realizes that he is not, in fact, disgusted by intimacy with a man.

It's also worth mentioning that when he later introduces Kurosawa to his parents (ch 41), they are immediately welcoming of him, suggesting he grew up in a very tolerant environment.

And it's not like he's completely unaware of heteronormativity/homophobia either, especially after he does his research in vol 8, but he is slightly more defiant in responding to it.

(I love how he just buys that bag he probably doesn't need that's supposed to come with all the wedding magazines, just as this very tiny act of rebellion.)

So now that we can see how different Kurosawa's thought patterns are compared to Adachi's, the next question we should ask ourselves is: Why is he like that?

Heteronormativity in Kurosawa's life

(yes we're finally getting to the comphet part of the essay 😂)

First let's look at the environment he grew up in. There are not many scenes with his family, but from those that we do have, we can at least make some assumptions about how he must've been raised.

His mother is clearly the authority figure in his life, judging by how she's described as "strong" and how terrified he is at her merely setting down a teacup (while Adachi has a more mild reaction). Her reaction to the news of them dating and Kurosawa expecting his parents to go as far as disowning him for it would suggest that she might just be generally homophobic.

But when they actually go meet her we see this slightly more nuanced perspective.

She's not entirely against it, but she does believe they are making a mistake by choosing to be together, hence why she thinks they might "regret it". There's many hardships that gay couples in Japan face, some of which we even see discussed in the manga, so it's not hard to see why she would be concerned for her son. The way she talks about Kurosawa never causing any problems, but "changing" ever since he fell for Adachi further supports that conformity is what she believes will ultimately lead to a successful, happy life. And that's also why she accepts Adachi later, when he's made it abundantly clear in his speech that they are happier in this non-conforming relationship than they were without it.

To contrast, her other child Mari is shown to have a very progressive stance (see: her pep talk in ch 47) and it would not surprise me if that is the reason she's rarely in japan and is never seen together with her family, save for the one time they're all at the wedding. She might find the conforming environment too restrictive and preferring to keep her distance. (shoutout to naina for this bit 🙏)

So that's Kurosawa's family situation. Now let's check how his social circle holds up.

From what we see of his friends, they never even seem to consider him possibly being with a man.

And his work environment seems rather toxic to say the least.

It clearly dictates traditional gender roles as the ideal. Nobody except Fujisaki even clocks any of Kurosawa's advances on Adachi as romantic in nature, even though he seems to be quite obvious about it (see: ch 34.5). And it's not like dating in general is discouraged at Toyokawa either, as we can see from all the women constantly vying for Kurosawa's attention.

From all this we can conclude that Kurosawa's upbringing and social/work environment is painfully heteronormative and until he falls for Adachi it seems he never questioned the status quo either.

The famous onsen scene, while funny, also reveals the sad truth that Kurosawa, in his 30 years of life, probably never even had the chance to explore his sexual orientation, rather focusing on being "perfect" in his straight relationships.

Speaking of those relationships...

He apparently had a bunch of girlfriends, who all seem to have dumped him pretty early on. His mother's surprise at him expressing a willingness to commit also makes me think he's never brought anyone home either. He also only seems to have a surface level understanding of what a proper relationship is supposed to entail, if his idea of an ideal date is just "what the average person" thinks is romantic. So why were all of his relationships so short-lived? Before I answer that...

Intermission: Kurosawa's smiles

It has come to my attention that this is not common knowledge, so let me explain: There's a way to tell apart Kurosawa's fake smiles from his real ones, without any context clues, just purely visually.

Real smiles: (ch 23, 24, 37)

Fake smiles: (ch 5, 13, 32)

The difference being very simple: Blush = real, no blush = fake 👍 And before anyone mentions it: No he doesn't just blush when he's around Adachi, that last fake smile is actually directed at him. (ch 32)

Edit from the future: This holds true like 90% of the time, but as Toyota's art style becomes more detailed, this doesn't apply as much in the newer volumes. I think there's also new details added that I haven't quite figured out yet so take this bit with a grain of salt. (The images below are still from her early art style though.)

So now that we have this additional knowledge, let's take a look at every instance Kurosawa is paired with a woman.

He's smiling in all of these. Not a single one has a real smile in it though.

I think he's never actually had his heart in any of his relationships, and the girls probably noticed it and that's why they dumped him.

And, of course, the first time he actually falls in love...

... just so happens to be with a man.

Even his friends comment on this, who have known him since high school.

It's almost funny how perfectly this aligns with real life gay people. Having numerous, short-lived relationships with people of the "wrong" gender is one of the more common traits of compulsive heteronormativity. (source: me oof) (but also shoutout to the "Am I a lesbian?" masterdoc, google it if you don't know, it's truly eye-opening)

After dating Adachi

So we have already established that he's far happier when he does finally get to date Adachi, but do any of his other thought patterns change?

Honestly it seems like he throws every single reservation about being seen as gay out the window.

He starts bragging like crazy about his new relationship to anyone willing (and unwilling) to listen, he has no qualms about PDA, he marks Adachi up and down so everyone knows he's taken and the only thing stopping him from proclaiming his love for Adachi to the whole world is the still very much existing societal homophobia. But he is a lot more easy-going about it now than he ever was before.

And I think the best way to describe this mental shift is, hear me out, the date song from volume 4...

... specifically the last 2 verses as a whole, and this section in particular:

"I won't let anyone divide our fraction! You couldn't pry this thrill from my hands when they're cold and dead!"

Horrible lyrics aside, this perfectly encapsulates how Kurosawa simply couldn't care less anymore now that he finally has what he's wanted for more than a year, maybe even his whole life. All the societal pressure pales in comparison to the sheer euphoria he feels at finally having someone that he loves and who loves him back just as strongly, feeling cared for and seen like no one else ever did.

And, you know, just happens to be a man. 🏳️‍🌈

#cherry magic #my essays #this is the mother of all essays I've ever done jesus christ #this thing spawned like 8 other post ideas btw #can't wait to finally get to those lmao

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itsfairly · 5 months ago

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Saying Out Loud // Nanami Kento x gn!reader

word count: 1.5k

cw: none.

notes: HAPPY PRIDE YALL! i normally post once a month, but lets pretend last post was the make-up for may and this one is june's. either way, fits the month, right?

liked this? show it with a like, reblog, and/or comment. each is greatly appreciated and celebrated!

"I'm bisexual," you said with a small crack towards the end of your words.

your eyes were constantly shifting between his, searching for any reaction or response from Kento as your fingers fidgeted with each other in an effort to calm your nerves.

it was so uncomfortable, so tense, so terrifying. you know this stuff is told at the beginning of a relationship, not months into it, but things with Kento were going so well. you've never felt so calm around someone, so loved in the most simple yet concrete ways, that a relationship could be so easy and rewarding as this one with him. you wanted to hold on to this stage, this moment where things flowed perfectly and the world seemed to say yes, these two are meant for each other. that's why you took so long to tell him.

after all, how many people treated you differently after they learned this about you?

sorry, its just that i dont want to date someone who will make me look over my shoulder to see if they are being faithful.

what? so you're just gonna leave me when you want to date a man or something?

does that mean we can have a threesome?

its was as if there mere mention of your bisexuality was a burden to them or some sort of fetish. it was exhausting and no matter how much you tried to be fine with it, you weren't.

it wasnt like you didnt trust Kento, he had been nothing but respectful to you and such a gentleman. but god, did those relationships screw up your confidence in this area...you thought you could keep this to yourself, but then again, he deserved to know before things went any further, to walk out if this wasn't what he hoped. you would get it even if it was unfair.

with every second his eyes looked into yours, taking in your words with that stoic expression of his that you could barely read at the moment, the fear was growing in your chest. It kept expanding until it reached your lungs and had to take deep breaths to appear calm about this when you were scared shitless. what would he say? why was he taking so long? he wants to break up, doesn't he? of course, he-

"what made you want to tell me now?" Kento asked, his voice calm as ever as if he was asking where you wanted to have lunch, making you wonder if he was even understanding the severity of your words.

"we've been dating for months now, exclusively even, and you deserved to know before things got serious," you said, feeling your heart race with every word you said. hell, you wondered how you managed to speak so clearly with these many thoughts in your head.

"but are you telling me because you want to or because you felt like you have to?" Kento asked, resting his elbows on his knees as he looked at you with furrowed eyebrows, his eyes showing this concern.

that made you blink a few times. this wasn't the kind of reaction you usually received. you were bracing yourself to hear any apprehension, maybe for him to reject or twist your words, but not to see him worried for you like this.

"i told you, we have been dating for a few months and it would be fair if i kept this from you-"

"but its not fair to force yourself either." Kento interrupted you, his words having this firm yet soft tone to them.

his hands reached out to one of yours, covering it completely in his hold. a steady hold opposite to the fidgeting of your fingers, but in his hands, your hand had no choice but to relax.

"you look so stiff you might break, try and take a breath," he adds, his head tilting to the side as his expression softened.

you do just that, mirroring Kento as he also took a deep breath to encourage you to do the same, and while it did help with the nerves, it didn't relieve your confusion. he wasn't saying much on your coming out, he hadn't say a single word about it yet.

"i wanted—want to tell you because i don't want you to find out later on after investing so much in me and just...you don't need to waste your time if someone like me isn't what you were looking for," you explained.

of course you wanted to tell him, but it didn't took away how scary coming out is, especially when the person you're coming out to is so special and you want them in your life regardless. you didn't want to lose him, but you also didn't want to deceive him like this. maybe you did had to push yourself to say it, not wanting to ruin things so quickly, but you couldn't wait any longer.

Kento sighs, making your heart stop for a second. Was he disappointed? Infuriated? Angry?

But when you heard his words as he squeezed your hand, you were surprised to learn how far off you were...

"i must be awful at making it clear that you're exactly who I'm looking for."

suddenly, its as if your heart gains this new energy, beating and beating as if you just ran a marathon. your mouth feels dry as youfeel your brows knitting together, feeling as if this conversation was bringing more surprises to you than to him.

"you don't care that i'm bi?" you asked quietly, your hand squeezing his back in hopes you didn't hear him wrong.

Kento shakes his head, "i do, but not in the way you think," he says, a shadow of a smile coming to the corner of his lip as he scoots closer to you. His eyes look at yours, silently asking if that was okay. You nod.

"i care, not because it annoys me—i would be an asshole if that were the case—, but because i'm learning about you. The you that you feel most authentic to. While i am happy that you are opening up to me about something so important to you, i wished you would feel more comfortable telling me about it because you were ready, not because you felt pressured to. i'm sorry if i made you feel that."

you didnt know what it was at this point, whether it was the adrenaline or sweetness of the moment, but you knew Kento was the reason with all these words he was saying. he wasn't anything like anyone you'd dated before, he was being so sweet and just a dream. you never thought your chest could swell with this feeling while coming out to someone. it felt...easy.

you quickly shake your head, your turn to scoot over to him with your knees bumping against his. "no, no! you didn't pressure me in any way, Kento. its just that i know how much of a dealbreaker this is to some and i..." you took in a deep breath, feeling your throat hitch with this lump, "god, you have no idea how relieving it is to hear that."

you didn't wait a second longer before you wrapped you arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug as you rested your forehead in his shoulder. you felt his arms wrapped around you in return, pulling you closer to his body as his hand caressed your back in soothing circles that made your heart calm down.

"someone like you is special," Kento says softly, his breath tickling your ear, "you're choosing me over anyone else, and i feel so honored that you are with me."

you laughed softly, pulling your head back from his shoulder and looking at him with a huge grin. god, he made this so, so easy.

"kento, you have no idea what this means to me. No idea how easy it is to feel lucky right now." You said quietly, taking a deep breath before resting your forehead against his, "thank you, just thank you."

Kento hums, his hand coming up to your scalp to stroke your hair gently. hearing all your words and seeing all the emotions you wore on your sleeve made him realize how big of a step this was for you, how heavy of a topic this was on you. it didn't take a genius to know that this reaction from you meant that this situation didn't went as well in the past with other people, which made his heart hurt for you. Sweet you who thought about him first before herself when this wasn't about him.

more than ever, Kento would make sure that you felt comfortable in your skin and secure in your relationship. you deserved nothing less than that and you were worth investing in as you said in your own words, though he would much rather call it loving you. it sounded more accurate to what he wanted to do.

"you know, now i have to put more effort into our relationship," Kento said softly, a hint of playfulness in his voice, "after all, I'm showing you off to double the people, aren't i?"

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darling-i-read-it · 2 years ago

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Hi how are you? 😃 May I request some headcanons of RE characters (you choose, i can't choose because I like most of them 😅 ) with a reader who worked 13 days straight and has insomnia so they're pretty much in autopilot or zombie mode at the end of that but are more polite then usual? I hope I don't have to work that many days in a row again 😩

HI yes i can relate as someone who doesn't know how to say no to picking up shifts. my record is only ten days thought, rest in peace my love that sounds HORRIFIC. i chose some guys at random (along with chris and leon, my favorites lol) i hope you enjoy!

Chris Redfield

literally him too

this man has never known a good nights sleep since he was like 21 and even then it was kind of rocky

he has less sympathy because of it. to him it's kind of normal

he works like no one else has ever worked because he cares about his cause. it's a bit hard for him to understand that not everyone does in the case of work

he feels bad seeing you this way though and he knows it

he may have done it before but seeing you go through the zombie nature was affecting him now. you were his person, his safe spot, and you weren't safe

once the sympathy comes it doesn't leave

calls your boss!!!!

on your phone!!!

he's so scary. he's a scary big man. tall. big. large. so large.

they gave you three days off in a row actually

they also mentioned to not have your boyfriend call on your phone again because of professional reasons and it wasn't until then that you knew he even called

you were so out of it you hadn't checked your outgoing calls (and why would you?)

anything he can do to help, he will. just ask it of him.

The two of you sat in front of the TV. His arm was over your shoulder as you leaned against him, more comfortable now than you had been in weeks.

"You hungry?" he questioned, glancing down at you.

"I could eat."

"Anything specific?" You glanced up at him, meeting your eyes. He could read your look. You wanted him to go and get food. He narrowed his eyes, playfully. "It's late."

"I know. I'm being silly."

"Well I didn't say no."

Leon Kennedy

Leon is the most likely on this list to also have some sort of insomnia. He can't even talk against you either because he has the same exact issues

working too much, not sleeping enough

he drinks sometimes till he can't feel the effects of either

so who is he to say that you should go to bed or that working so much was destructive?

despite it being hypocritical, he sees the overall exhaustion within you

you're suddenly quietly polite, you have nothing in you to fight against him, even when he makes his normal banter and you don't return it

that's what really affected him. until you got rest, you could never really be back to him. your polite tired nature made him want to protect you. you were his, he couldn't let you go on like this

he showed up at your work

he didn't chew out your boss, no, he just 'brought you lunch' and then politely demanded that you be given two days off

he may have brought a weapon. it wasn't very good of him but then again, neither was having someone work 13 days straight

you promised him that you would do it for him next time

"What about when you go off to Japan for a month and I know you aren't sleeping?" you questioned. You sat in bed together, eyes heavy, no work in the morning.

"If you were in Japan I couldn't know if you were sleeping either," he pointed out.

"I feel like you would find a way." He smiled, that charming gentle smile. Comforting, homey.

"You're right. I would." You rolled your eyes.

Carlos Oliveira

was a fierce advocate for you taking a day off and is mid contact with your boss

he doesn't care if it was your choice. he really doesn't. he loves but you but damn if he won't let you go through that again

you're so quiet that it scares him sometimes. the life in your eyes is just barely there

he is a bit of a workaholic himself sometimes but he knows how to take breaks. he prides himself in being able to separate himself from that when he can

he tries to lull you to sleep (like you don't know what he's trying to do)

you're stubborn and he knows this and you're also far too tired to admit how tired you actually are

the kind of boyfriend to give you tea and hope it does the trick. to give you massages, make you listen to him talk so much that hopefully you'll fall asleep in his lap

he adores you to pieces. he really does. how can he bear to see you like this?

it's like you're a zombie and not the bad kind. he wanted you to spend the whole day in bed and again, he will call your boss on your behalf, he'll pay for the rent if he can, he doesn't care

he'll do whatever he can to save you from the fate of another awful night like that

His hand massaged your shoulders as you sat together on the couch. You had been silent for a while and although it used to worry him, he was just happy to have you beside him.

"No work tomorrow," he mentioned quietly.

"Don't talk about work," you whispered. He nodded, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer.

"Sorry." You looked at him at your side. "I think I might lock you in the bedroom so you can get some sleep."

"You know that's not how that works," you whispered, though you smiled at the gesture anyway.

"It's how it should work."

Ethan Winters

Ethan understands better than most how hard it can be to let things slide

he knows that working sometimes helps. it helps the silence in his head when all he can focus on is that he's so tired and the has to work

because he understands, he also has a certain degree of protection he has over you

he knows what it feels like to be unable to feel his eyelids anymore because they're so heavy

the very second you have off he demands that you stay inside

he would rather you be laying down and not moving for a while if he could stand it, allowing you to bask in the quietness

he would make you promise him that you would try your hardest to sleep because he thought that once exhaustion came over you it would be too hard not to

he wanted to tell you about how hard it was for him after the Baker house to sleep because he had so many bad memories that he didn't want to relive

he tries to relate to you about that. he wants you to know that sometimes his bed is a demon in and of itself

insists you take time off afterwards. he doesn't care how it happens but you need a day of rest and that's final

"They'll probably need me in sooner," you admitted, quietly. He shook his head over dinner. He had made it for you that night, happily, some of your favorite foods.

"Two days minimum," he said.

"You're not my boss Ethan," you told him honestly but he shook his head. He was having none of it.

"You should quit."

"I know. But I can't."

"I know," he hummed, shaking his head. "Two days. Two. In a row."

#chris redfield x reader #chris redfield imagines #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy imagines #albert wesker x reader #albert wesker imagines #carlos oliveira x reader #carlos oliveira imagines #ethan winters x reader #ethan winters imagines #resident evil imagines

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sweetstarart · 8 months ago

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40 Wallace Wells Headcanons!!!

He loves the band gorillaz! His current favorite songs are Dare, Dirty Harry, Rock The House and 5/4

He used to animate and draw in college but he hasn't really picked it up since then

He and Scott don't have much closet space, so they put some of their clothes in a kitchen cabinet. Scott is very scared Ramona will open it one day

When he eats burger He takes the pickles off and saves them for last. He does the same thing with shrimp pasta and also likes it most when there are 5 shrimp left over to eat. Scott thinks this is weird.

He's quite a powerful psychic, but since he's a beginner he has no idea how to utilize his powers. In the future, Old Wallace becomes one of the most powerful psychics in Toronto

Old Wallace's hair turned grey after what him and Mobile simply refer to as a "Psychic Mishap". This same mishap lead to him also needing very strong prescription glasses

He has 5 favorite colors, Green, Pink, Black, Teal and Red. If you ask which is his favorite, he'll usually cycle through 3 of those options before telling you he doesn't have a favorite

He scratches his knuckles when he gets nervous

He keeps his hands behind his back while doing this so people are less likely to notice

Sometimes he taps his fingers instead

Starting book 2, He's been taking French classes. He likes to say dumb things in French around the house that don't apply to whatever they're talking about, Scott is none the wiser

He likes turtles!

Although Wallace sometimes kicks Scott in his sleep, he can actually be fairly affectionate sometimes if he's feeling happy or lonely. Sometimes he hugs Scott in his sleep

Strangely enough, he doesn't do this to mobile until a few years into their relationship

Wallace used to have braces and acne in high-school. It is one of the very few things he's insecure about

He constantly forgets Young Neil's name and swears its either Francis or Dennis

Him and Other Scott have known eachother since they were kids but only became friends in high-school, when Wallace would stay over at his house from time to time

According to Scott and Other Scott, seeing Wallace win a drinking game is one of the most horrifying things they've ever seen

His record is 19 beers in 5 seconds

Oftentimes He wears a variety of Bracelets on his arm. His sweater usually obscures this, but they can be heard clanking together when he runs. When asked why he does this, he says he's "Matching with a friend"

His birthday is July 4th

He ran away from home during high-school, leading to him crashing at his friend's houses until he finally got an apartment

He frequently stayed with Scott, Other Scott and Roxy (until they stopped being friends towards the end of high-school)

Like the anime said, he let Scott crash at his place and he never left. At first, he figured since Scott let him stay over a week once, it only seemed fair to do the same. Soon a week turned into a month,but he couldn't bring himself to simply tell him to leave

He's somewhat of a pushover, but is too prideful to admit it (or embarrassed... who knows!)

He has tons of pride merch that he saves specifically for the month of May. Not June, because he "likes to stand out" (It's actually because when he started doing this, he got the month wrong)

He won a Ball point pen from a high-school drinking game. He calls it his most "prized possession" and he keeps it in a jewelry box alongside his bracelets

Scott is listed as "The first guy you should call if I ever get drunk and pass out bc he knows good and well he owes me a favor" on a list his frequent bartender asked him to make (Her name is Leni btw)

He and Gideon (the cat) would actually get along pretty well if they ever met

He and Gideon (the man) would not get along very well. But Wallace would find him extremely attractive in secret

He finds most of Ramona's exes attractive with the exceptions being Roxy and Kyle katayanagi

He passed his driving test while completely drunk. He woke up the next day and had no clue how to drive and couldn't even remember doing it until he found the license in the kitchen sink

He's had tons of flings, but never had an actual boyfriend until he met Mobile

He is so gay, that he litterally pukes rainbows

He thinks Stephen is hot. His only reason for not pursuing him is the fact that Scott made him promise to never make out with his friends

His favorite food is shrimp Alfredo

The reason Wallace makes bacon so often is because he bought it in bulk once as a dare from one of his friends. No clue what kind of bacon it was, but it expired a year from that day and the bottom shelf of his fridge was packed full of it for months

He always loses at rock paper scissors

He knows how to play piano

He has Hayfever

And... that's it! Except not really, I actually have way more!

But thats all I'm posting for now...

Thanks for reading!

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honeytama · 5 months ago

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coming out as bisexual + pride fest headcanons 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

noah sebastian/bad omens x gender neutral! reader

a/n: *ty to @hedonists for the pic and @exitwoundsx & @somewhere-diamond for the ideas. also, if someone wants to write more on this please do. i'm gonna be feral all month long.

content: fluff and a lil bit of bi anxiety

coming out as bisexual

noah and yourself have been together for a few months

the beginning of your relationship felt like a honeymoon, but lately you’ve felt somewhat closed off and anxious

there was tension between you two up until having your first argument

the argument was about something silly, really, it could be fixed with just a bit more communication

but once you've made up, you take the chance of demonstrating your trust in him and your need to share your feelings by coming out to him, finally

“oh, you’re bi?,” his eyebrows raise. “is that why you’ve been acting weird? you wanted to tell me?” he smiles.

you confirm that’s why and tell him you didn’t want to hide that side of your life from him anymore. you felt better having opened up to him, but you didn't want him to think any differently of you.

“i understand. you're still, Y/N, to me..." he pauses. "um, what does being bi mean for you?” he asks, curious.

you explain what it means to you and explain that you still love him no matter your attraction to another gender.

“you love me, Y/N?” he smiles, wide. he looks like he’s won the lottery.

you say yes, begrudgingly. knowing he’ll tease you about it for the next week.

“i love you, too,” he takes his hand in yours. “thank you for telling me. i love everything about you, just so you know. your sexuality doesn't change who you are or how I feel about you. i'm proud of you for being honest with me, and for being true to yourself.”

a weight falls right off your shoulders and you finally feel like you can breathe.

"i'm here for you always."

going to pride fest with bad omens

with pride month coming around the corner, you get brave and ask your friends to come with you to pride fest in that city this weekend

of course, you say “if you don’t want to go, it’s totally okay” or “sorry, I’m just really excited.”

but noah assures you not to apologize. “yeah, that would be fun. we’d love to go with you. you’ll just have to show us the ropes,” you hear noah laugh over the phone.

june rolls around and you're at your place with your friends from bad omens getting ready to head out to the festival in the afternoon

folio brought his own kaleidoscope glasses and will choose to wear iridescent glitter on his shoulders and cheeks. he opts to apply it himself.

jolly decides he wants his hair in braids after hearing how hot it will be, so noah and you help him braid his hair into pigtails. he chooses from one of the pride tees you have in your closet. maybe "be gay, do crime"

nicky is super jealous of folio's glasses, but he distracts himself by letting you paint on his arms different pride flags. he makes a joke about him being the one being tattooed this time. his shirt says, "lesbians eat what?!"

noah really wants to go shirtless.

you don't allow him to, knowing he'll burn and regret it in the morning.

so he opts to wear a classic white tank. nicholas and you team up to give noah a glitter middle part in his hair.

the fest ends up being a blast and you feel so supported by your friends

they all follow around like ducks and ask you questions when they're curious

their favorite parts are the parade and the drag queen performances

you even had them stop at an atm before the fest to get some cash to tip the queens

AHHHH my heart

#noah sebastian x reader #bad omens #bad omens x reader #jolly karlsson x reader #nick folio x reader #nicholas ruffilo x reader

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cocomuffy · 5 months ago

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Happy Pride Month! Let's do some HCs

Bruce Wayne is either bisexual or aroace (In the 2004 TV Show he's definitely aroace). Brucie definitely holds Pride galas for LGBTQIA+ charities and whatnot. He doesn't attend any other events, though.

Dick Grayson is a bisexual. We know this. He goes to pride events as both Nightwing and Dick Grayson in order to show support. He makes sure to hit any queer location in Bludhaven in his patrol route once or twice during Pride.

I'm not sure about Jason, and I don't know if Jason is sure of himself. Whenever there's a big event going on in Gotham for Pride, he does leave his territory that night to check around the clubs and bars for the same reasons Dick does.

Tim Drake is bisexual and he and Bernard always go to events in Gotham for pride. They get a cake every year that says "Happy Fir Pri" in reference to the cake that Tim brought for him on their first Pride. He was trying to bring it to him, but he saw some duties that Red Robin needed to take care of, and the cake ended up smashed a little.

Damian Wayne usually forgets Pride is a thing until he's reminded by either Bruce or Tim. He goes to the gala every year and he isn't homophobic, but it just isn't as big of a deal to him. That is until Jon comes out. Then he remembers and he makes sure to give Jon a little painting or something every year.

#dc #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #batman #batfamily #nightwing #red hood #robin #damian wayne #red robin #pride #gay month #bisexual #galore #we have a lot of bisexuals here #mentioned jon kent

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insomnikat-mused · 3 months ago

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Sakura as hokage au😍 please (or gen swap)

I love love love that I get to say: "If I had written this (likely long)fic, five things that would have happened are..."

Sakura gains the title with some controversy (how could she not), with Kakashi insisting that-- despite the elders, other nations, and even the civilian population preferring him-- she would be much better at ushering in an age of healing and peace. He does a whole poignant speech in front of everyone that makes Sakura cry because she'd never heard him express his pride and faith in her before.

As consolation, Kakashi becomes her right-hand man. She's very appreciative of his help (especially since she doesn't always need to wrangle/bribe/blackmail him into doing tasks), but gets increasingly frustrated when most of the foreign dignitaries believe Kakashi is still the real power behind the deals and policies she rolls out.

So Sakura starts experimenting with her look, starting first with wearing glasses but quickly escalating to using Tsunade's transformation technique: making herself look older when she overhears potential business partners say she's too young and inexperienced, enhancing all her womanly curves thinking it will help win favour in one business deal, becoming more androgynous for another, more burly for yet another, and even masking herself Kakashi-style.

Kakashi is amused, at first. Even impressed when it works in key negotiations. But he watches how dispirited she gets at the end of the days until one evening-- let's say they're at a masquerade ball, because I loooove dance scenes and symbolic irony-- he pulls her close and tells her it's aright to just be herself. That she's already accomplished so much in a few months; proving herself more than worthy. "But no one fully respects me just as I am. Not even Sasuke," she says, to which he replies, in a gentle and deeply affectionate way that surprises her by stirring something in her heart, "*I* do."

KakaSaku happily ever after. Because of course🍆❤️🌸

For the ask about a potential AU I will never write (or won't I?)

#you asked i answered #the fic i never wrote #my writing #fountainpenscribbles #kakasaku

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lazyalani · 1 year ago

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| Itoshi Rin × [F!Reader]

| Silence

| angst, hurt no comfort, no happy ending, rin does not know how to show his feelings, rin is in too deep for sae's acknowledgement, reader just wants him to be happy, rin is scared to try, reader understands where he's coming from but is also tired, swearing, rin is so angsty type

| Summary: Rin's silence always is the obvious answer.

| Blue Lock Masterlist

| Main Masterlist

Every arguement,

The sound of rushing footsteps and heavy pants collides with the sound of the continous banging of soccer balls on the ground.

You breathe heavily when you reach the park, putting your hands on your knees for support. It isn't that bad, you think. It helps with the raging cold of the night, you pant on your scarf. You take one last deep breathe and stood up straight, staring at the boy kicking the balls without a break and running around.

Rin, however, doesn't even notice you staring at him, nor did he notice someone even came. Too focused, concentrated on the balls, or his thoughts?

You match the frown in his face, does he not see you or is he ignoring you? You rolled your eyes, this is the first time you get see each other in months because of that stupid Blue shit or something and he doesn't even bother to go to your house and greet you? What a brat.

"Rin...." You call out and he visibly snaps out of his thoughts, eyes widening and the balls misses the goal.

He takes deep breaths, slowly standing up straight and going over to a bench to drink water.

"[Name], what are you doing here?" He barely acknowledges, not even looking at you and wiping his face.

every word we can't take back,

You try to calm down your temper, not wanting your first reunion in months to be a bickering contest or whatever the lukewarm shits he says.

"Can I not greet a friend after months of not seeing him?" You tilt your head, raising an eyebrow and sitting cross legged, leaning on one arm across the bench he was sitting on.

He stays silent, fueling you even more.

You sighed heavily. "Rin, what have you been doing all this time?"

"Training."

"Why haven't you contacted me?"

"Phones weren't allowed inside---"

'Cause with the all that has happened

"But they are once a player reaches a certain amount of goals and requests it." You wonder if he's surprised you know, if he is, he certainly has amazing control of his expressions, because not even a move of a brow was shown, and he stays silent once more.

You closed your eyes and leaned your head back to the fence. "Your mom told me you got your phone back, yet I never even got a reply, not even until now. What's the matter, Rin?"

"I just forgot."

"The same damned excuse over and over again." You sneer and he finally shows an emotion, frustration.

"I was busy, I am busy."

"Would it make you less of a better player to reply even just a single word?"

Before you knew it, it had turn into a shouting competition, just as it always has.

I think that we both know the way that this story ends

Wait, it hasn't always been like this, hasn't it? How had those small and petty arguments led to this? Before, it was always you and him bickering over the single chocolate Sae has left and over the other half of the chocolate twin popsicle Sae bought. Before, it was always resolved with just Sae buying another. Before, it was just you and him trying to train you at soccer. Before, it was just you and him sleeping at Sae's bed and making him sleep on Rin's room. Before, it was just you and him racing to the park. Before, it was just you and him smiling and laughing about the most random things. Before, it was just you and him secretly making fun of the kids who slip and fall and Sae either berates you or joins you. Before, it was just you, him, and Sae, having the best times of your lives.

Now, it's just you and him shouting. Now, it's just you and him fighting for your prides. Now, it's just you and him barely even talking. Now, it's just you and him as less than friends. Now, there's no more Sae.

"Why can't you take a hint and see that I don't care?!"

Now, it's just you.

Then only for a minute,

Oh, where had the sweet boy gone?

His words stabbed you right on the heart. Bullseye. Bullshit.

You didn't know what to say, or what to do. You wanted to punch him, slap him, kick him, scream at him. But what would you even say? What can you even say? What good would that even do? Oh, he's already won this competition alright.

Oh, where had all his promises gone?

All those promises of never leaving each other. Never leaving like Sae did. Never letting emotions win. Never letting a day pass without making up. Never letting things go too far. Going to ask you to be his girlfriend someday. Going on sappy dates and peaceful movie nights. Going to say I love you before the day ends. Keeping every promise made.

Where had it all gone?

You didn't know. All you knew was if you asked him, he would've said he didn't either, or he would've never answered, like he always did. Oh, right, it wasn't always like that, huh?

Oh, where had that caring boy go?

Into the shadow of his brother, you would say if asked. Drowned in the hurtful words thrown at him by the same brother he loved with his everything. Mourned for the acknowledgement and attention of the same brother who promised to become the best striker in the world with. The same brother who shattered their dream.

In that moment, Rin knew it was over. But why is it that he wanted to swallow everything back?

I want to change my mind,

He thinks he should take everything back, but the lump on his throat and his ego says otherwise.

Oh, where have your promises gone, little boy?

Inside my brother's shadow, he'd answer if asked. He knew he was in too deep into his 'revenge', but he can't help it. This is how he's always been. One goal, one direction, straight ahead, going as far as he can, and never looking back.

Oh, where have your promises gone, young man?

Inside the trapping walls of the soccer ball, he'd answer if asked. Before, it was you and him trying to teach you soccer. Now, it was you and him fighting because of soccer.

Now, he just left you hanging.

'Cause this just don't feel right to me

Oh, sweet boy, where have you gone?

Into the depths of my ego, he'd answer if asked. In too deep, too far gone to even come back. Not willing to sacrifice the things he worked so hard for. Not willing to show how much you really meant to him. Not willing to be vulnerable. Not willing to be weak. Not willing to be looked down on by his brother. Not willing to give in to anyone.

Not even to you.

Oh, sweet girl, what are you willing to do?

Everything, she'd say if asked. But I've already done everything. I've tried everything, why won't he notice it? I did everything for him. I tried everything for him.

You scoff and laugh bitterly, a tear cascading through your cheek, finally allowing yourself to break. "All these years, I have done everything just to pull you up. I have done everything to not let you kill yourself for your pathetic little brother complex. I have done everything not to let you die from exhaustion. All these years, I have done nothing but to love you, just like we used to to each other." You say, letting everything out.

I wanna raise your spirits,

"Yet you have done everything to push me away. To cast me aside when you decided to go after your brother. You decided to chase after the same person who casted you away like you did to me instead od staying with me, the same person who fucking stayed with you throughout everything. I was there when he wasn't. I was there when he left. But you still wanted to chase after him after everything. I always wondered why but I figured I just wasn't enough." You brushed your fingers through your hair, tears continously falling down your face, but you didn't bother to wipe them. You wanted him to see the damage he dealt without a care in the world.

He stayed silent, as he always has, ever since that day. And for the first time in forever, you, who has always known how he felt like inside, didn't know about the burning feeling he feels on his eyes. The burning sensation he feels as his eyes and nose reddens, you think it's because of the cold. Because you think he doesn't even have enough care to feel your pain.

"I changed myself to be the desperate girl who just wanted just for you to notice me again. All these times, I supported you and encouraged you even when your parents wanted you to stop soccer because of what happened. I patched you up when you got bruised and injured. I brought and gave you your pens, papers, notebooks, books because you kept forgetting them for prioritizing your cleats and soccer ball. I brought them even when I knew I was gonna be late over and over again because I didn't want you to fail. Because I knew failing would get you out of the soccer club you loved so much. I was there when you needed a shoulder to cry on. I was there when you needed to rant. I was there even when I knew I was only going to be casted aside again and again. And you know why? Do you even have a single fucking idea why?!" You exclaimed, standing up, voice getting a little bit louder every sentence.

He leans his back and head on the fence, closing his eyes shut, a tear finally falling down. But he doesn't care to wipe it either, too tired to care.

You see it, but you didn't care, that was nothing compared to what you were feeling all these years.

"All these years, all these times, I just wanted to see you smile again." Your voice cracked as you stared him, eyes full of intense emotions.

I want to see you smile, but

He opens his eyes and lets himself get lost in yours. Maybe, just maybe this time, he could let himself get lost in you. Maybe, he could be strong enough to ignore his pride and ego.

know that means I'll have to leave

Staring in your eyes now, he feels even more drained. How ignorant could he have been to not notice how tired you were? Or maybe you just hid it so well. You've masked your true feelings so well that he couldn't notice. Or maybe he just didn't care enough to try and see through it.

And you finally let it all loose, now that you finally let it be seen, all he can see is a shell of the sweet girl he loved. He wonders if this was how she felt all this time.

Oh, young man, why did it only sink in to you now?

Lately, I've been, I've been thinking,

A small part of you, a deep part of you, and a special part of his inside of you hopes he would say something. That he would try and save your falling relationship, whatever it is. Just something.

And a big part of him, the deepest part of him, a special part of you inside him hopes that he could take everything back. That he could restart. For the first time, he wishes life outside soccer has a restart too. A kick off. Then he'll let you take the ball.

He'll let you set the curve and control the game, his game. And then let you get far away first so that his brother's shadow will never catch up when you score a goal you'd take control and never let him have the ball that made him this way.

So that when you make a goal, he'll see that smile that made his little heart fall again. and not the face full of tears infront of him right now

I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier

But he doesn't.

He doesn't say anything. He isn't strong enough afterall. Not strong enough to keep the ego inside him. Not strong enough to push the lump on his throat.

In this game, he doesn't let you take the ball. His ego doesn't let him. His ego leaps up and crushes your dreams, making its way to the goal, pushing past everything and everyone, never looking back.

For the first time in both of your lives, you walk away.

When the evening falls,

For the first time in your life, you were the first one to walk away.

"I should've turned my back on you ages ago."

He swears his heart breaks again over and over again when he saw the life in your eyes drain.

Oh, where has the sweet girl gone?

He blames himself. Ofcourse he does. Deep inside he has always blamed himself. Deep inside he has always seen how your shoulder drops and smile fade away when he reject another one of your hang out plans. When he tells you an excuse why he ditched you.

He wonders if all of this wouldn't have happened if he was just stronger. If he was just strong enough to take his brother's critism. If he wasn't so vulnerable.

He wants to blame it all on his brother. As he always has. The blame is always on Sae. He always blames everything on his brother. Because he couldn't accept him changing positions. Because he was too stubborn. Because he was so naive.

He wonders what could've happened if he decided to let go of his brother's shadow? Would he had have asked you to be his girlfriend by now? Would he had have given you that plushie you had wanted so much? Would he had have won you the pikachu plushie on the arcade? Would he have been watching a movie and cuddling with you right now?

And I'm left here with my thoughts,

His heart breaks over and over again again at the thought of you living a happy life without him. What a hypocrite, he thinks to himself. He pushes you away but doesn't want you to be happy without him.

The thought of you spending your life with another person, with another love that isn't him, brings a tub of boiling anger to his heart. He thinks he's an asshole, a fucking prick, a shitty douchebag, and he knows it. He doesn't want you to give up on him.

But then again, he's drained all your love for him, hasn't he?

And the image of you being with someone else

#blue lock #blue lock x reader #bllk #bllk x reader #blue lock angst #lazyalani #itoshi rin x reader #itoshi rin #rin x reader #blue lock x female reader #bluelock x you #itoshi rin x you #itoshi brothers

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