#previously mentioned disability

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

no feeling quite like wanting to do something but knowing your disability means you can't

[mantisgodiveblog]

Against all odds, we have survived. We're taking a university course now, because the government will pay us for it and we do need the money, but it has unfortunately been eroding at our sanity somewhat, and we are learning nothing that we don't already know. We are, however, getting money.

We have somewhat of a backlog on Discord at the moment, as it doesn't have a daily upload limit and also it's easier to stick things on while we are being told things that we already know by people who are phrasing in in ways we find significantly misleading or incorrect (note: we don't use apps for things the vast majority of the time and if we access Tumblr via browser it immediately fucks up our formatting on PC, which can last several months). We will, hopefully, be posting these soon, but all is dependant on if we can actually scare up the time between courses to conglomerate that and fix any formatting errors in thoughts and such.

If that will happen any time soon... good question! Every time that our work practicum teacher opens her mouth, we take points of physical damage, and we don't think she understands the fact that getting back after we walk to a place also involves walking. We've had a lot going on for a while now and very little of it has been good. We're on new meds, and if the gods prove merciful, we won't have to tolerate this particular clown show past March. If there is no mercy to be found, however, we might have to keep doing this until June, in which case you can probably expect the quality of this to take a sharp downturn as the short time we have already spent in this program is already having immediate and catastrophic effects on our mental health.

We do not recommend going to university in any circumstances, but we are unfortunately aware that it may be necessary to get such things as a fancy piece of paper saying you are employable. Additionally, we would tell you to calibrate your expectations for anyone with a degree lower, but apparently what we consider the basic level of knowledge you should know before saying anything on any topic is everyone else's "bachelor degree and a bit", so our estimations on what people think is a high degree of knowledge to have are probably also off.

Any donations go to the Fund To Compensate Us For Having To Correct A Teacher Multiple Times In A Lecture And Then Looking Up Her Sources Later And Discovering They Are Blatant Misinformation. We are very tired. Please do research on things before talking about them. Thank you.

[cepheusgalaxy]

[ID: A donut chart titled "in the main wips". The first element of the graph, "abled characters", is in blue and takes 45% of the chart. The second element, "disabled characters", is in red and takes 55% of it. /end ID.]

was listing everybody's disabilities and thought this would be neat to do

bonus:

[ID: Another donut chart, titled "in the three main wips", with two items. The first one, blue, is labelled "aspec characters" and takes 35% of the graph, and the second once, red, is labelled "allo+ characters", and takes 65% of the graph. /end ID.]

You guys don't realize how funny this is to me (i'm neurotypical + ablebodied and aspec)

[lukazade2electricboogaloo]

I think a lot about how women of the bats are a bit left behind/unloved by the fandom, but I just want to give a huge shout-out to Barbara for being forgotten whenever we bring up Joker's evilest crimes lmao I love u babe I'll never forget

[whereserpentswalk]

The nazis that you see in movies are as much a historical fantasy as vikings with horned helmets and samurai cutting people in half.

The nazis were not some vague evil that wanted to hurt people for the sake of hurting them. They had specific goals which furthered a far right agenda, and they wanted to do harm to very specific groups, (largely slavs, jews, Romani, queer people, communists/leftists, and disabled people.)

The nazis didn't use soldiers in creepy gas masks as their main imagery that they sold to the german people, they used blond haired blue eyed families. Nor did they stand up on podiums saying that would wage an endless and brutal war, they gave speeches about protecting white Christian society from degenerates just like how conservatives do today.

Nazis weren't atheists or pagans. They were deeply Christian and Christianity was part of their ideology just like it is for modern conservatives. They spoke at lengths about defending their Christian nation from godless leftism. The ones who hated the catholic church hated it for protestant reasons. Nazi occultism was fringe within the party and never expected to become mainstream, and those occultists were still Christian, none of them ever claimed to be Satanists or Asatru.

Nazis were also not queer or disabled. They killed those groups, before they had a chance to kill almost anyone else actually. Despite the amount of disabled nazis or queer/queer coded nazis you'll see in movies and on TV, in reality they were very cishet and very able bodied. There was one high ranking nazi early on who was gay and the other nazis killed him for that. Saying the nazis were gay or disabled makes about as much sense as saying they were Jewish.

The nazis weren't mentally ill. As previously mentioned they hated disabled people, and this unquestionably included anyone neurodivergent. When the surviving nazi war criminals were given psychological tests after the war, they were shown to be some of the most neurotypical people out there.

The nazis weren't socialists. Full stop. They hated socialists. They got elected on hating socialists. They killed socialists. Hating all forms of lefitsm was a big part of their ideology, and especially a big part of how they sold themselves.

The nazis were not the supervillians you see on screen, not because they didn't do horrible things in real life, they most certainly did, but because they weren't that vague apolitical evil that exists for white American action heros to fight. They did horrible things because they had a right wing authoritarian political ideology, an ideology that is fundamentally the same as what most of the modern right wing believes.

[crazy-hazy-sims]

Hey everyone it seems there a malicious individual trying to hack the sims cc community again and fill it with malware you need to stay vigilant as a creator and a downloader so

i have some tips for both to stay safe while downloading:

1- sims cc file extension is always .Package never download anything that is .exe

2- do not auto unpack zip files and rar files into your mods folder directly, open each zip or rar individually check the file extensions and drag them to your mods folder one by one

3- the only mods that have a .ts4script extension are ones that affect gameplay or how the game works, understand that if you are downloading cas or bb items you shouldn't have a .ts4script file

4- if you are downloading gameplay mods that do have .ts4script make sure that A) the creator hasn't announced on their pages that its infected B) you are downloading from a link provided by the creator of the mods themselves not something off of google or a link you got sent and make sure dates of upload match dated of announcements

5- if the mod or cc creator has retired and hasn't posted for a while LOOK AT THE DATES OF THE UPLOAD if it has been "updated recently" after the creator has left the community its most likely re-uploaded by a hacker and infected

6- download mod gaurd by Twisted mexi and keep it updated and keep your windows defender or malware detector Program up to date and always running do not disable it

7- make sure everything you download comes from a direct link from the cc creator, in this day and age do not trust link shortners, adfly, linkverse, etc get the universal bypass extension and ublock extension to stay safe but genuinely NEVER CLICK ON THOSE no matter how much the creator reassures you its safe it. is. NOT.

8- this is more of a general saftey precaution but, create a system restore point weekly before you run the game with new mods that way if anything happens you could have a chance to restore your windows to an earlier date before you downloaded anything.

9- BACK UP YOUR SHIT im serious right now either weekly or monthly put your files somewhere safe like a usb a storage card a hard drive even an online cloud if you dont have any of the previous.

10- files you should back up are your media from games and media everything else, any mods, games saves, work files, passwords, saved bookmarks, any documents txt files word files pdfs, links you saved, brushes or actions for Photoshop if you have any, any digital bills or certificates if you have any, and keep a physical list of all programs you have installed and where you installed them from

11- turn on any 2 factor authentication and security measures for any account you have

12- google and firefox have the option to check your paswords and emails against any data leaks USE THIS FEATURE and change any leaked passwords

13- regularly check your logged in sessions to make sure all the logged in devices or computers are yours and log out any that aren't and any old devices or unused sessions do this for every website and app you have an account on if available

14- change your passwords often. I know this is a hassle i know its hard to come up with new passwords but changing your passwords every few months will help you against anything mention previously that wasn't detected.

15- and as a cc creator check your cc and the accounts you host cc on and its uplaod and update dates make sure nothing has been changed without your permission :(

16- generally try not to get swept up in the "i must get it" fever you do not need to "shop" for mods weekly or monthly you do not need to download everything by that one creator you do not need to download new cc everytime you want to make a sim, im guilty of this so i know how hard it is to resist but take a breath and think "do i want this or do i need it" before downloading.

These are prevention methods i cant claim they are 100% will prevent any hacking but its better to be safe than sorry and these do keep you safe so

Brought to you by someone who has had their laptop ruined and data leaked from downloading cc once upon a time

[gay-disabled-characters-showdown]

LGBTQ Disabled Characters Showdown Quarterfinals Poll 1

Vs.

Please be civil in the notes. We will block people if we feel it is necessary. A character being canon LGBTQ+ and disabled was not required to be in this competition. Please check qualifications and propaganda before asking why a character is included. This is not a competition of who is better representation.

Check out the other polls in the quarterfinals here.

Edit: This is a two vs. one because they tied (by our defenition) back in round 4 and moved on together.

Harrier ‘Harry’ du Bois-Disco Elysium

Qualifications:

Bisexual. Struggles with addiction, post-polio syndrome, multiple kinds of mental illness, and whatever else he's accrued by living in a city with no accessible healthcare.

Propaganda:

You know who he is. Vote for him.

Kim Kitsuragi-Disco Elysium

Qualifications:

Visually impaired

Propaganda:

I dunno man. He's Kim Kitsuragi. There's nothing I can say about him that hasn't already been said. He's quiet and reserved and uncomfortable with emotions. He's a self-proclaimed Torque Dork who loves his car like a child. He listens to heavy metal music. He's a centrist. He's a homosexual. He's consistently given shit by everyone around him for his race, his sexuality, and his disability, and he's taught himself to respond to it with cold professionalism. He dresses in historical communist pilot cosplay. I love him with my entire heart.

Yang Xiao Long-RWBY

Qualifications:

She is canonically wlw (has been for years but specifically kissed and got together with her now girlfriend in the latest season) and uses a prosthetic arm and has been shown to struggle with PTSD due to the traumatic nature of losing it during the show.

Canonically had her right arm chopped off, uses a prosthetic. Has PTSD. Is canonically in a WLW relationship.

She has a canon girlfriend and canonically has a prosthetic arm and PTSD

She's canonically sapphic (part of a recently canonised wlw slowburn relationship) and is an amputee (due to events from the 3rd season finale) who wears a robotic prosthetic. She also suffers from PTSD which is explored in the show

Propaganda:

I will keep on submitting Yang to relevant brackets until I die. RWBY has plenty of strengths and weaknesses with writing, especially Yang's recovery arc, but instead of forcing her to push past her trauma and enter the battlefield immediately, we see her struggle with it, take time to process, and not be pushed into repression and when she chooses to wear her prosthetic, chooses to train to ready herself, and chooses to seek out her family and save lives, she isn't perfectly healed, as no one is. The show depicts her having flashbacks due to sudden loud noise, shaking hand the first few times she has to fight for her safety instead of training with her dad, and snapping at friends when they bring up Blake, the person she lost her arm trying to save (who, near immediately after ran away due to feeling she was endangering those she loved, furthering Yang's already present abandonment issues.) It isn't done perfectly but the intentions and general message sent are extremely positive and honest. She struggles less as the show progresses, and there are opportunities to consider herself less for being disabled or "become whole again" but she explicitly refutes these ideas and says that's she's better because of her failures and losses, and isn't any less whole. Her becoming disabled is also extremely tied to her being LGBT, because, as previously mentioned, she lost her arm protecting her then friend and partner, now girlfriend, directly after the villain who cut her arm off told her love interest that he would "destroy everything [she] love[s]. (Camera pans to Yang, he looks at her.) Starting with her." LIKE. He attacked her BECAUSE Blake cared for her so much and Yang ran to her defense blindly BECAUSE she loved Blake so much. When they reunite, they struggle with communication because Yang feels Blake is seeing her as weak, and through several things, mostly a climatic battle against the man who severed Yang's arm, they affirm each other as equals. I can go on but this is already too long. YANG SWEEP!!!!!

Yang lost her arm while protecting her best friend and future girlfriend from said girlfriend's abusive ex. Had a whole arc about learning to live with that loss and dealing with PTSD. Is totally devoted to and in love with Blake Belladonna and is just the sweetest but most badass character in the show.

She's one of the main characters, and just finished a 10 year slow burn romance. Plus, she has both physical and mental disabilities, but is never treated as lesser or incomplete.

Yang Xiao Long was one of the first examples of a sapphic character I ever saw in animated media with her character journey in the show being an iconic part of my teenage years and current young adulthood. The loss of her arm after a traumatic event in the show's 3rd volume was one of the big shockers of the show that nobody saw coming. Since then the show has done an amazing job in exploring both the mental and physical effects of her losing a limb, gaining a prosthetic arm and the recovery journey. Her character also has a major arc regarding handling her PTSD from both this and her past most notably in the 5th and 6th volume. Her character also has a slow-burn romance with her teammate and fellow main character Blake Belladonna which is one of my fave romances ever (it has everything: canon soulmates, friends to lovers, sunshine x grump,battle couple etc..) that has recently became CANON BABIEE!!! There are MULTIPLE characters in RWBY with various disabilities that are handled well in the narrative but i would say Yangs definitely the top FAVE!

[bee-the-loser-recs]

.✩✮✩ My Jisung One-shot Fic Recs ✩✮✩.

★ Jaemin exposes Jisung's crush on y/n in the gc By @wooyukh SMAU, non-specified au, meddling friends, exposing their friend's crushes, fluff, confessions, trying to hide feelings, asking friends for advice

★ Discord By @babbymochiiii Established relationship, discord calls, playing video games together, smut, slight fluff, discussions of the future, aggressive yelling at games, sexual tension

★ The dragon's happily ever after By @starlightkun 17.4k, mythical hybrid au, fantasy au, college au, dragon Jisung, human reader, secret dating, playing tricks on friends, cutely in love, their friends are trying to set them up

★ Pur autre vie & Cross my heart By @starlightkun 26.1k & 17.6k, paranormal/supernatural au, ghost Jisung, human reader, mentions of death, depictions of grieving, reader's mother is sick, family tensions, finding comfort in one another, sprinkle of angst, hurt/comfort, family drama

★ Out of left field By @starlightkun 16.3k, college au, brother's friend trope, Chenle is reader's brother, Christmas/holiday themed, baseball player Jisung, sibling teasing, the parents suck in this, fluff, getting to know each other, attraction

★ Mistletoe while you work By @starlightkun 6.9k, office workers au, established relationship, keeping it a secret, holiday themed, unhinged co-workers nohyuck, trying to set them up, crack, fluff

★ Oh boy By @starlightkun 15.3k, high school au, learning disabled reader, math nerd Jisung, rocky start to the friendship, Dreamies as friends + Lucas as Chenle's brother, fluff, slight angst

★ Arcade By @sincerelyneo 3.5k, established relationship, anniversary dates, spending time together, arcade dates, smut, fluffish, exhibitionism, photobooth setting

★ My vampire boyfriends By @luvyeni 1.5k, Chenle x reader x Jisung, established relationship, polyamorous, vampire Chenle & Jisung, human reader, aphrodisiac vampire venom, smut, biting

★ 1-800-hot-n-fun [park jisung] By @strrykais SMAU, non-idol au, anonymous texting, school au, Jisung is texting reader extracts from her diary, mentions of reader being attracted to dream members, fluff, suggestive

★ Chasing pavements [part 1] & [part 2] By @ruwriteshours College au, brother's best friend trope, Chenle is reader's brother, friends with benefits relationship, angst, smut, asshole Jisung, slight fluff

★ 8 Letters By @xiaodejunletsact 18.2k, high school au, friends to strangers to lovers, baseball player Jisung, angsty, bullying, childhood friends, neighbours to one another, fluff, dick Jeno, other dream members mentioned

★ My cheerleader By @luvyeni 0.9k, school au, cheerleader reader, football player Jisung, mutual pining, a moment of confidence, a kiss before the game, teasing from friends

★ Here, home By @cigsaftersuh SMAU, roommates au, friends to lovers, mutual attraction, mutual friend Mark & other dreamies as Jisung's friends, reader has their period, flirting, getting together, fluff

★ Loving Jisung through the seasons By @polarisjisung 0.9k, established relationship, saying 'I love you' to one another, fluff, flirty teasing, slice of life, fluff, really cute

★ Tongue piercing By @nerdlvr Drabble, emo Jisung, cheerleader reader, cheating, reader has an unmentioned jock boyfriend, Jisung has a tongue piercing, smut, hooking up together under the bleachers

★ “How to ask your girlfriend if you’re bad at sex?” By @withlovemark Established relationship, Jisung finds reader's vibrator, texting the other dreamies for advice, other NCT dream members are in relationships, smut, communication, slight embarrassment

★ Presenting & Too young By @loudstan Werewolf Jisung, witch reader, stubborn and older reader, best friend Jaehyun, smut, slight angst, mentions of Jaehyun & reader hooking up previously, concept of life long mates

★ Restless By @kaiyunsim 4k, idol Jisung, best friends to lovers, alcohol, drinking together, drunk confessions, fans swamp them while they're together, fluff, angst, hangovers, confessions

★ Jisung setting up an intergalactic sneaky link !! By @viasdreams SMAU, alien reader, human Jisung, pen pal situation over text, fluff, crack, teasing, they're both kind of losers, emojis usage, reaction images, attraction

★ Slowly falling in love with jisung !! By @viasdreams SMAU, Idol au, working together on a duo performance, spending time together, falling in love, fluff, slight mention of dispatch, sneaking around, finding excuses to hang out, teasing

★ Hold out By @rrxnjun 10.8k, high school au, exchange student reader, fluff, angst, reader is alone at high school, secret friends, school dance, becoming closer over time

★ Liebestraum By @rrxnjun 11k, summer break au, coming of age, mentions of parent's divorce, slice of life, angst, fluff, Jisung is staying at his aunt's, kind of like a summer romance, moving away

[sanguinesky-if]

[Dev Log] June 2025

Hello, I hope you're doing well!

Summer arrived so quickly that I barely noticed while working on the update, but I hope to catch up with everything once it's released.

As for my progress, here's a quick overview of my activity over the past month and my plans for the current one.

Announcement.

For Patreon members: The release date is scheduled for June 28.

In mid-June, I'll post a progress update to let you know how things are going.

Please note that access to the code for the Patreon demo will be disabled until the public release.

For other readers: I'll share some of the sneak peeks previously posted on Patreon a week before the release date [here on the Tumblr blog].

I'd like to note in advance that I don't have an estimated time for the public release. The update may need additional polishing and changes before it's ready to go public.

Thank you so much for your support and interest!

What was done last month?

▹ Chapter 3 Pt. 2: finished working on I's scene and rewrote R's scene.

It's still a bit hard to admit because it slowed my progress, but while working on R's and I's scenes, I realized that what I had originally written just wasn't working well. I had to rewrite both scenes. While I'm happy with how I's scene turned out, I still have some doubts about R's. In short, this rewrite means that a few answers I gave to previous asks are no longer valid [you won't be able to get your MC drunk, and you won't meet another secondary rival]. Even though it was a stressful process to change what was originally planned, I don't regret my decision [I might even reuse the cut content in future scenes].

▹ Stats Changes.

I also spent time revising and refining some of the stats. Here's what the stats will look like in the update [comparison to the public version]:

I know that the stats still aren't perfect, but I think the change made them represent the choices readers can make much better than they did before. Also, there's a small coding feature I wanted to mention: If the MC has a higher "Genuine" stat than "Guarded", some of the ROs will lose alignment points if you choose to lie to them or hide things. It's a very simple mechanic:

However, there are also several ROs whose alignment points increase if the MC shows distrust or acts more guarded, so it's a situational feature.

What will I be working on in June?

Since I've paused Patreon billing, I'll be focusing on releasing the update by the deadline [T's and S's scene are last for a reason].

As I mentioned on Patreon, I was recently prescribed medication, and I'm a bit concerned about potential side effects which could impact my ability to work [and possibly the deadline as well].

Still, I hope that won't be the case. I know you've already waited a long time, and I'm doing my best to make sure the final result lives up to your support.

Thank you for reading to the end! Wishing you a wonderful week and days after that! ♥

[iwtv-theories]

The names of IWTV characters and their symbolic significance (analysis)

1. Claudia (and her nicknames):

-Claudia is a beautiful name that roughly translates to the offensive term : “cr*ppled.” Something Lestat calls claudia: “14 forever , she’d be a cr*pple.” The coven also tells Claudia , “children” & "the cr*ppled" are not allowed to be turned.Many fans have already mentioned Claudia’s arc being a metaphor for disability & abelism.

As unlike other vampires , she can not turn anyone on her own (due to her size), and is often infantilized and demeaned by others due to her body. We also have the coven cause lulu to develop a limp in the play, this furthers the disability allegory (as claudia derives from the name Claudius meaning 'to limp'). In addition to this , Claudia is based off of AR’s daughter who passed away due to a physical illness.

-Lestat calls Claudia “milk weed “ and a “belladonic beauty.” Both milk weeds and belladonna are poisonous plants . And this foreshadows Claudia poisoning the blood that Lestat drinks at the end of season 1.

- puce (flea): flea is obviously a metaphor for vampirism . “fleas are blood-sucking parasites that use their sharp mouthparts to pierce the skin of their hosts “. But what’s interesting is , in France, calling someone “puce “ is considered a term of endearment . ‘Ma puce’ literally translates to "my flea" but is roughly equivalent to calling someone : “honey," “pumpkin”, “sweetie pie “, or "sweetie”. “In French , it’s most often used as a term of endearment for CHILDREN, especially young girls.” Which not only greatly changes the context of the coven calling her this, but it certainly foreshadows the infantilization that the coven does later on (via the play). Before the reveal, Santiago calls Claudia "puce" & a "moppet." moppet is british slang for a "child/young girl'. They were all infantilizing her long before the play (but due to language/regional differences it went over the audience's, and perhaps Claudia's head).

- Lulu: Lulu has various meanings such as 'famous warrior' & 'light'. Before dying via light she states she will kill all responsible and sings the baby lulu song (showing her warrior-esque nature even in the end). It also signifies how Madeleine perceived Claudia as her "light". Claudia states if she gets scared during her turning, 'to look at the light and listen to (her) voice.' Why we see Madeleine perceive Claudia in an 'impossible afternoon light' (overlayed with the headlight Claudia previously told Madeleine to look at if she got scared).

-Lulu is also the feminine version of the name Louis : perhaps this illustrates that similar to Armand forcing Claudia into this infantilizing baby-lulu role. 'Daddy Lu' was inadvertently similar because (by convincing Lestat to turn her) he forced Claudia to be infantilized for all eternity! Like Claudia said the Lulu-costume is just “a REMINDER of every night of (her) existence… being trapped in the body of a little girl.” She can never truly take off the costume and be free . She will always be in an infantilized body - "she lives in it, breathes in it, feeds in it, hunts in it-off stage".

-Also,the names Louis, Lulu, and Armand all roughly translate to “warrior or soldier “ perhaps hinting at how all 3 were constantly butting heads with one another .

2. Armand (and his many names):

-Arun roughly translates to “the first ray of sunlight”, "sunrise", or “dawn” - a reference to his ability to go out into the sun even as a vampire.Arun (in Hinduism was affiliated with the Hindu sun/fire god) . “Arun's role was to manage and mitigate the sun's intensity, making it bearable for the world.”

The story of Arun/Aruna also had a subplot of placing a family member into slavery for “500 years of servitude”. Similar to (show) Armand's background.

-Amadeo (is an Italian name meaning “lover of god”- aka as a human he loved Marius like he would love a god. And, he was also the LITERAL “lover” to said ‘god’). Saint Amadeo of Italy was “renowned for his ardent love of god “. He founded the catholic ‘servite order’ . Servite is latin for servant . Servites make solemn vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience (*pretty much his time in the ‘children of Satan‘ where they served god via satan). Marius not only renamed him Amadeo, but referred to him as a “saint”. “Saint-Amadeo died in Italy, and in Catholic art, saint Amadeo, is often portrayed holding a FLAMING heart (cough more fire symbolism). “

-Armand (is the French saint of “hospitality and food/alcohol”). Armand to Daniel : “it was rude, you’re a guest in our home.” Orchestrates a 7 course meal for him with wine . And even Daniel admits Armand can make an amazing drink. Armand also was shown feeding a human hostage at the theatre , and he chose a target to kill because they profited off starving Parisians. And Saint-Armand was also a saint to boys: so if the show has him save 12y old Benji (also pretty apt) .

It’s certainly not a coincidence that in the books : when Armand was a child many priests thought he was a “saint”, then Marius often compared him to a “fallen saint”, and later the children of darkness also called him a “saint.”

-Rashid : Remember how Lestat said vampires are “gods”? Ar-Rashid is one of the 99 names for Allah, and Daniel even asked Armand how many names there were for Allah… so it was 100% intentional by the writers). In Islam, the 99 names of Allah describe the 99 different attributes about him. Similar to all of Armand’s aliases /names representing a part of him. “Ar- Rashid “ represents Allah being a “teacher” : Armand teaching Louis the fire gift, Armand telling Lestat he can “teach” him about vampirism, Armand telling Louis they can be “teachers to one another” , and Armand demanding Daniel “teach him how to be fascinating” . Maitre is also a common title for a “teacher" , in France. Ar-Rashid can also translate to "director" ("he didn't witness the play he directed the play!").

Rashid is also often used as a personal name with the prefix "Abd" (meaning ‘servant of’). Armand (as Rashid) pretended to be a servant to a vampiric god , instead of Allah: “I serve a god.It’s my honor to serve .” It’s probably symbolical that despite Armand’s god like powers (because of his background) he still has some subservient tendencies . Or sadly , when he pretends to be a human he jumps to what was normalized to him by Marius: serving an unholy vampiric god with slavish devotion, doing sexual things in front of house guests, and being used as a blood bag… because that’s what he was taught to do. What’s interesting is Ar-Malik is also one of the 99 names of Allah. And Armand kills Malik . Malik is a title meaning “lord” , “master”, or “owner “👀 ( if in the future he wants to kill his “god/master” Marius I won’t be opposed ).

3. Madeleine

In German Madeline can translate to “ young girl” (possibly alluding to her connection with Claudia , and within the show universe it could illustrate their dynamic as equals).

We also see they’re equals in the fact that Eparvier (her surname) means “sparrowhawk “ (a type of bird ). She’s similar to Claudia , who is also compared to a bird on many occasions . In the play, baby lulu dies as she mimics a bird flying . In s1, Lestat says to Claudia that European vamps will kill her because she’s built “like a bird”. Claudia in s1 lays in a coffin called the “bird’s nest.” Madeline before her turning even tells Claudia : “I love this song, ‘my heart is an island bird.” The 2 being compared to birds , sadly foreshadows the coven killing them. But it also signifies Madeleine's 'love' for Claudia (the 'bird'). The song Madeleine loves & quotes is sung by an American-Creole singer who became famous in Paris (similar to Claudia at the theatre).

3. Louis

Lestat: " Your name is Louis, of course it's Louis... I had planned to make a new life for myself in Saint Louis (the city). That was to be my destiny. And now I know I was right! Only it turns out the Saint is not a city, but a handsome man ."

This is one of the reasons Lestat calls Louis the pet name "saint Louis" (to show his devotion towards him, and to illustrate Lestat’s belief Louis is his “destiny”).

-Louis (whose Creole family comes from wealth) was nicknamed the “prince of the quarter" & his businesses are described as an "empire" . “Louis was a common name among French royalty and was often used as the name of first born heirs(such as Ldpdl)”.

-Louis translates to “famous warrior" or "renowned in battle". We see Louis initially catch lestat’s eye due to this quality. And although Louis probably would prefer to just chill out and read a book. He is indeed good in battle : taking out the French coven by himself , and in the s2 finale essentially saying to the entire vampire community that he’ll fight all of them if they attack him first.

-Similar to the names of Louis’ siblings : Paul and Grace (his name also has catholic roots as well) . Lestat calls him “Saint Louis” . “saint louis implemented reforms in France aimed at establishing a more just and fair legal system, and outlawing outdated and unjust practices. “ Which, ironically , our Louis … didn’t get the benefit of for his trial in Paris.

4. Daniel

The name Daniel has its origins in the Bible. The biblical-Daniel had frightening dreams and visions that unveiled hidden truths (hmm...that sounds familiar).

Daniel 7:15 , “As for me, Daniel, my spirit was distressed within me, and the visions in my mind kept alarming me. “ If past d.m did happen he'll most likely continue to have visions & dreams that alarm him (and that reveal hidden truths). Also, if the rumors are true that Daniel relapses in s3- the dreams/visions may be harder to interpret and trippy (similar to the trippy/abstract biblical visions Daniel saw) .

-The biblical Daniel also famously survived the night being thrown into a lion’s den (which I mean …being trapped in a room full of mentally ill vampires is probably similar to that) . lets' see how Daniel deals with being trapped in the den of Mr. LION-court in s3😆.

-“The name Daniel also symbolizes the belief in divine justice, wisdom, courage, and steadfastness in the face of adversity.” (Pretty much our Daniel: no matter the obstacle he’s always steadfast and courageous when it comes to exposing a story).

-The prefix of the name Daniel, aka Dan also means “judge”. It’s certainly interesting that the fake-judges at the trial cause so much of Louis' trauma . And Daniel (the judge) helps Louis to a certain degree move on from the trial.

5. Lestat

According to the writer his name was supposed to be Lestan (as a reference to her husband Stan). And in the books Lestat was an anagram : and each letter of his name was the first letter of one of his brothers. In the books, Lestat says his name is “meaningless “. Lestat is possibly derived from the Old French word "estat," meaning "state" or "status”. Lestat in the books is called a “prince” and was a human nobleman . But, his noble status was infact “meaningless “ because he grew up in poverty. Lestat is of both French and Italian descent . L'estate" is the Italian word for "summer" or "summertime" , and is associated with “warmth.” Show Lestat gets emotional thinking about the “warmth of summer”, and it’s going be revealed he can also go out in the sun and be able to tolerate its heat (most likely in s3) .

[takenbypeter]

Hiii I’m the one that requested the previous imagine, I absolutely loved it you did such an incredible job🥲❤️ I wanted to know if I could request another one again with Bob x Black Canary!Reader? Maybe like a continuation of the previous one. This time all of them go on a mission & it looks like things are going well until a villain (you choose) manages to get a collar around the reader’s neck that disables their sonic scream. Anytime she tries to use her power it causes her severe pain. It gets to the point where if she even tries to say a word without using her powers it hurts her. Everyone on the team gets back from the mission is frantically trying to figure out how to disable it and remove it safely. We see both Bucky and Yelena extremely worried for their closest friend and Bob comforting the reader + helping Bucky & Yelena with removing the collar bc that’s his girl👀But in the end they figure it out. Please and thank you! I swear this is my last Black Canary reader request lol you’re just sooo great at writing these🫶🏻

Believing In Bob

Bob Reynolds x reader

Word count: 1902

A/N: yayyyy another Bob request! So happy! I’m glad you enjoyed the last one, I can tortoise this is going into be as good. Whenever I write long fics I feel like I lose the plot halfway cause my brain just starts going everywhere

*Ding*

The elevator doors opened and the Watchtower that was previously still was suddenly full of noise as the team entered the larger area. 

“What if I just bust it open with my shield?” Came out of John Walker’s mouth as he lifted his shield towards your direction. You flinched, but before he could take any further action Bucky and Yelena jumped in between your two bodies. 

“Woah, woah! What are you trying to do, kill her?” Yelena asked her hands out in front. 

“In case you forgot you can do real damage with that shield,” Bucky mentioned and Walker’s arm fell back to his side. 

As soon as it did, the tension calmed again, “relax, I know how to use this.”

“Yeah that’s what we’re afraid of,” Ava breathed out, causing John to shoot her a look. 

Getting scars or wounds from missions wasn’t uncommon. But this? This, while, occurred once before was not common. 

“Are you sure screaming isn’t doing anything? Try screaming again,” Alexei suggested. 

“She’s already tried that, it just made things worse,” said John. 

You all had been sent on a mission to fight, who knows what yet. And what was supposed to be a simple mission ended up being an ambush. 

And while you all were dealing with different battles, trying to help each other while avoiding your own, somewhere along the line two of the goons pushed you down while a third wrapped around you and managed to get a collar-like device locked around your neck. 

The hold was one you’ve gotten out of many times before. Nothing your sonic scream couldn’t get you out of, is what you thought. But as you opened your mouth, the sound you emitted was cut short as a surge of power ran throughout your body. 

The feeling felt electrifying. It was the most prominent in your throat. You grunted at the burning sensation you felt in your vocal area afterwards. 

Noticing your struggle Alexei was quick to help you free and you managed to fight off the rest. 

During the battle you noticed Bucky needing some help of his own as multiple people began crowding in on him. You tried to scream, thinking if you screamed louder that would have some sort of effect on the device as well. 

But, screaming the loudest you could was probably not the best idea as all that did, was leave you with an intense, deep, and painful feeling unlike anything you’ve ever felt before.

You all managed to retreat, without even getting any intel so it all was a waste. 

On the way back the team noticed your predicament which leads up to the current time, with the others trying to come up with a solution, while you rolled your eyes at most of them. 

Body aching and tired you took a seat on a nearby stool, letting a sigh escape from you as you threw your head on your closed fist.

Bob was quiet but quick to be by your side while the others continued arguing. “How you holding up?”

You turned to him offering a disheartened expression, “…hurts,” you croaked finding it hard to even say that. 

You couldn’t believe two screams and you were already in so much agony. 

“Do you want water?” He asked, trying to be helpful. 

You shook your head, mouthing thank you to him. You honestly weren’t sure what the water plus the electricity would do to you and you weren’t sure you wanted to take the risk. 

“Bob!” A voice rang out causing you both to look back over to the group. “Can’t Bob use his powers, I mean, the man has the powers of a god!” Alexei shouted and the team turned to the both of you. 

“Yeah! Have you forgotten what you did to my shield or should I bring that taco back up here? ” John said pointing at the brunette who began glancing around at the eyes glued to him. 

“That was "Sentry "."

 “Oh come on, that was you! You can do it if you put your mind to it, and all that bullcrap. The point is you can do it,” John said. 

Bob turned to look at Yelena who shrugged, “you have been practicing.”

“Wait a second, this might be just as risky as Walker’s plan. How do we know physically altering the collar won’t cause a worse type of electrical surge?” Bucky added, trying to be the voice of reason in the team. 

“Well then leave the choice up to her, whatever she wants to do we’ll do,” Ava nonchalantly suggested. 

All eyes were now on you and after meeting several you turned to Bob. 

While you should’ve been concerned about yourself you were more concerned about Bob. Especially with that expression on his face. His jaw was held tight and his eyes were focused in thought. You could tell he was starting to feel the pressure. 

Without a thought you hopped off from the stool, landing while holding up a T for time-out before you grabbed your phone. 

Everyone waited as you typed out a message and then showed Bob. 

You okay?

Was all it said and Bob shot you a surprised look. 

You shouldn’t be worrying about him, you should be worrying about yourself. But still he took a breath and relaxed a bit. “I’m fine. All I’m saying is that I don’t know if I can do this, I don’t have full control of my powers, what if I make it worse?”

“So maybe no super strength. Oo!” Alexei snapped his fingers before pointing at you two, “super heat!” 

“And what burn her neck?” Yelena said. 

The team grew quiet for once thinking of another idea, until eventually Ava spoke up from where she stood further from the others, “you have matter manipulation powers,” she suddenly remembered as she pointed at Bob. “Yeah, that’s how you stopped me in the past. You can alter shapes as well. If you use it you can rearrange the molecules and create an opening in it for her neck.”

Everyone looked at Bob again who looked taken aback himself. 

“Have you practiced that?” Yelena asked. 

“No.”

The team was soundless again and John abruptly left. He came back after a few seconds with a dumbbell in hand and set it down in front of Bob. 

“Ain’t no time like the present Bobby.”

Bob, whose eyebrows have lowered with each passing minute stared at the object. After taking a deep breath, he reached out and focused hard. 

You all watched. Time went by while the dumbbell remained the same. 

“Nothing’s happening,” Alexei whispered, causing John to turn to him, “yeah we know nothing’s happening we’re all watching the same thing you are.”

Bob lowered his hand avoiding everyone’s eyes, “well I can’t concentrate with you all staring.”

Grabbing the dumbbell he turned around and stomped out of the room. 

You glanced at the others all sharing a look before you got up to follow after him. “So…” Bucky drawled, “what’s the new plan?”

Bob didn’t go far, and when you found him he was still practicing on the dumbbell. 

Stepping beside him you tapped his shoulder letting him know you were there. When he didn’t react, you gently hit his shoulder causing the tension to break. 

“What?” He whined, tone not angry just irritated, but you knew it wasn’t directed at you. 

You frowned typing into your phone. Once done you pulled his attention back by showing him your screen. 

Talk to me!

“I can’t talk to you, you can’t talk.”

What are you feeling?

“Life isn’t always let’s talk about feelings, let’s do some deep dive on emotions.”

You frowned deeper, bringing your phone back and typing some more. 

Bob stop. Just relax. 

“Relax! How can I relax? This is all my fault I should’ve been right there to help you! I should have complete control over my powers by now!”

You again typed out on your phone this message longer than last. 

This is not your fault! It’s nobody’s except for theirs. Don’t focus on what could’ve been done!

I understand there’s pressure here, but you also can’t put too much on yourself. 

I’m not dead, everything's okay. 

His eyes left the screen and met yours. You put a hand to your chest and nodded, releasing a content sigh. 

Bob, face still uncertain, let a deep sigh of his own out. His shoulders dropped, the built up anxiety working its way out. 

“I just wish I could do something.”

You curled your lips in, while your eyebrows came together, typing another message. 

Can I be honest? 

I think you’re doubting yourself way too much.

“I’ve never practiced this.”

You pursed your lips to the side. 

Honestly I think super strength would actually work just fine. I’ve tugged on the collar and it doesn’t zap or anything, it's just there. 

Bob glances at you, “maybe… but what if I accidentally crush it into your neck.”

You have been practicing little by little and you have gotten more control. I understand why you’re hesitant, but you are also selling yourself short. If you need more time to practice it’s okay. But I also know that you can do this! I have no doubt that you can! 🩷🩷🩷

Bob was uncertain but you could tell his brain was thinking and you waited. And waited, allowing him to process it all. 

What he did next surprised you. 

Next, Bob turned to the dumbbell and his gaze was suddenly hyper focused. Then he reached out and yanked on the object, instantly breaking it into two.

Your eyes widened and your jaw dropped. You had seen him practicing his powers in the past but nothing like this. 

Bob, not wanting to lose his momentum, turned to you. 

Understanding what his expression meant you lifted your head, extending your neck to give him the most available space to work with. 

Were you scared? A bit. But you trusted Bob and you had no doubt in his abilities. 

While you half expected Bob to just rip open the collar like he did the dumbbell. Instead you heard him crunch the device, and then once more before pulling the weakened portion apart making it all slightly easier and safer. And just like that it was off. 

You reached up, your head lowering as you both looked down at the object in his hand. Then you looked up at each other and finally a smile spread along your face while you threw your arms around him, “you did it!” You whispered, throat still sore.

At that exact moment you heard the doors slide open followed by Bucky’s voice. “Okay guys , we’ve thought of something, it might take some time but with the right…work,” his words cut off as he took one look at the scene in front of him. He looked first at you two still hugging then the device that was scattered at your feet. 

“…never mind. Looks like it’s all under control. Good job” he said, spinning around and leaving again. 

Separating you reached for your phone again. 

That was amazing! And dare I say very attractive. 

Bob, while reading your message couldn’t help the grin that was glued to his face. 

“Listen when it comes to you, I’m willing to do anything. And I mean anything.”

You beamed, giving him a gentle shove in response. 

[flowercrowncrip]

Therapy today wasn’t emotional, but was one of the biggest shifts in perspective I think I’ve had so far.

We were talking about what I’ve learned from the experiences of worsening disability, and I mentioned a lot of positive personality traits I have now that are stronger than when I could still walk.

I listed things like my ability to return to be in the present when previously I’d always been anxious about the future. And my ability find joy and gratitude in seemingly small things. My ability to be able to take one day at a time in the face of potentially life changing medical things. And to be able to trust myself to navigate difficult times.

And then I realised that those things aren’t “personality traits” that magically appeared one day, they’re all skills that I developed due in part to the choices I made. Yes the circumstances I was in were a catalyst, and there was a degree of luck and privilege involved, but there was no guarantee that I’d come out with these skills.

I learned how to ground myself in nature, how to recognise when I needed a break and chose to make time for that.

I chose to continue to look for the good in things around me and to reject the voices saying I was being weird or cringey for getting emotional over mundane things.

I leaned in to focusing on the present and learned how to not try and catastrophise over my health. It wasn’t instantaneous and took time and effort and practice.

And I have never ever given myself even the slightest bit of credit for any of that before.

[todosdream]

can I? | ony.eren (prologue)

10.6k wrds. flashbacks. angst.

warnings: bi!ony, bi!eren, miscarriage mentioned, sickness/death mentioned (minor character), grief, eren has a learning disability, and a potty mouth, repression issues, cursing, weed smoking, dealing with self-worth/comparison

a/n: the story of our boys before their lady is introduced. hope you enjoy <3

you can touch my heart and soul,

as well as my body, if you please.

the story of the sun and moon,

joined by both fate and destiny.

amari can barely hold her excitement in as she waits for her friend to arrive at their favorite cafe. the lighting is soft and welcoming and the smell of coffee grounds reminds her of all the times she’s sat in this very booth, either alone or with company. her husband chuckles and softly rubs her back as she all but dances in her seat, happy to be home, happy to see her friends.

he’s watching her with those eyes she loves so much, the ones that see her clearer than anyone else. his admiration for his lady is palpable from the other side of the room, eyes holding his heart and soul as he gazes at the embodiment of love and joy. “I love yo’ lil ass, you know that?” he asks fondly.

the woman smiles and leans into him, softly cupping his jaw as she presses a kiss to his cheek. then another and another because there’s nothing that could ever keep her from showing her love, not a person or location. “you better,” she grins, eyes lifting to meet his. “hate to bring a giant down in front of all these lovely people.”

armond’s head tilts back with laughter. he *loves* his wife, adores everything about her. especially her sense of humor and tendency to threaten. establishing dominance, he guesses.

“yeah, okay, love. look, here they come,” he says as he nods his head at the door. entering the cafe are carla, amari’s closest friend, along with her husband grisha. the doctor lightly presses on carla’s back to encourage her to sit while he places their order.

amari squeals and stands, holding her arms out to welcome the woman. it takes no time for the two to come together in the tightest hug known to man, swaying side to side dramatically as their jewelry jingles and clinks.

“oh, I missed you!” carla gushes as she squeezes her best friend. “tell me everything and don’t leave a single detail out!”

amari tugs carla to sit at the table, and after carla and armond exchange hugs and greetings, they all gather in their usual corner. grisha joins as amari begins the top to bottom story of her and armond’s most recent travels. she talks about the welcoming people, the beautiful culture, the water that stretched beyond what the eye could see.

her husband watches her with a tender gaze as he lets her talk, chiming in to remind her of small happenings she might’ve forgotten. the group is in their own bubble as they listen to her, her shine even brighter than normal.

“and…” she begins the ending of the story by lifting a bag that was previously hidden under the table. she slides it towards carla with a big grin on her face and the woman just rolls her eyes with a grin. “you better have gotten me a small gift this time. I’ve run out of space for all the souvenirs you’ve brought back!”

amari just bites her lip and pushes the bag closer, armond hiding his grin in his wife’s curls as they watch the other couple. carla digs in the gift bag and pulls out a piece of cloth.

her eyebrows furrow. amari usually doesn’t buy her clothes because carla’s quite picky.

her eyes widen and her jaw drops when the cloth unfurls. it’s a onesie with the words ‘you can stop asking now’ in cursive.

“shut. up. you are not!” carla beams.

amari and her husband nod with excitement in their eyes. they’d already privately decided that after this trip they’d be ready to welcome a bundle of joy. turns out said bundle was baking the whole time.

“yes, ma’am! we’re pregnant!” amari laughs joyfully.

carla wants to reach across the table and shake the woman with how excited she is. she doesn’t know what to do first, cry or scream or run outside to yell “finally!” even if it scares the people on the street. she’s going to be an auntie, and she’ll be spoiling this baby with all the love she can give.

well… as much as she can.

she and her husband look at each other with something in their eyes. “this is insane,” grisha chuckles in amazement. he nods his head at his wife in encouragement.

“what, what’s happening?” amari asks. she was expecting a big reaction, and although she can see the excitement in the other woman’s eyes, she’s surprised at how frozen they are. carla just purses her lips as she places her own gift bag on the table. she covers her mouth, speechless.

the two stare at each other.

“…you’re kidding,” amari mumbles, eyes widening. carla just shakes her head, tears building in her eyes.

after years of trying, an angel sent to heaven before they could bless the earth, and so much disappointment, carla is finally pregnant.

“we- we waited before saying anything. just to make sure nothing happened. but the baby is completely healthy and we’re so blessed,” carla sniffles. it was hard to keep the secret, but they just couldn’t take another round of what happened last time. bagging up all of the things they’d purchased in preparation, breaking the news to family and friends, dealing with a loss they’d prayed to never experience.

amari briskly stands and walks straight to her best friend. she takes the woman into her arms as her own eyes start to leak. “holy shit, carla. oh my God. I’m so happy for you, love.”

grisha and armond look at each other, communicating silently. the whole table is in shock, neither couple expecting the other’s news. there are blessings overflowing.

the two best friends are crying in each other arms, hug lovingly tight as they both absolutely ruin their makeup.

”I can’t believe it, mari,” carla sniffles. “I can’t believe it. we’re gonna be mommies.”

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

“you’ve gotta be kidding me,” amari murmurs. little ony just won’t stop crying no matter how much she rocks him. he’s fed, changed, and just had his nap. she’s hoping nothing’s wrong with her baby boy, but her nerves are so frayed from the day.

her back hurts and her head is starting to show signs of an oncoming headache, but she perseveres. “c’mon, baby. what’s wrong?” she coos. “mommy’s right here. I’ve got you. I’ve always got you.”

she jumps a bit when a hand starts to softly rub her back. she didn’t even hear her lover return home from work in all the noise and exhaustion, but as he pulls her into him, it soothes her in a way no one else can.

“I got it, sweetheart. why don’t you take a rest, hm?” armond asks tenderly. amari frowns with worry as she leans closer to her lover, her husband gently taking their son from her arms. she feels inadequate, like a bad mom. frustrated with her own incompetence, exhausted from the day and her sweet baby boy.

“I don’t know what’s wrong,” she murmurs. “I’ve done all the things, but he’s so upset and I don’t know why.”

armond places a sweet kiss to her forehead, then ony’s. “he’ll be just fine. you’ve done so good, you know that, right? you’re a great mommy, honey,” he mutters reassuringly. “lil man’s just fussy. go lay down and don’t get up until you feel rested. you let me know if you need anything and I’ll take care of it.”

amari sighs and rests her forehead on his shoulder for a moment. he’s her rock, her everything. she doesn’t know what she’d do without him. days like this, he’s like a cool breeze in the middle of june. “okay,” she answers softly. “I just- I wish I could calm him.”

“baby,” armond smiles down at his lover. reassuring, loving, soothing as always. “you gave birth to him. you take care of him. but you’re not doing this alone. I’m here for both of you. go rest up, mama.”

amari lets out a breath, shifting to rest her cheek against his bicep. her face is all cute squished against him like this, like a pouty little chipmunk. “I love you so much,” she says softly. armond hums as he presses another kiss to her forehead.

“I love you more than I can express. now go lay down, mister man done stressed my baby out.”

amari places a kiss to ony’s cheek, then her husband’s before heading up to their shared bedroom. she gets cozy on armond’s side of the bed to immerse herself in his scent, snuggling into the soft fabric. sleep immediately begins to welcome her after such a tough day, her body weak and mind tired.

before she dozes off completely, she hears ony’s cries start to subside in his father’s arms.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

“alright, eren. if I have to change your diaper again, you’re sitting in the tub,” carla huffs as she sits with said boy in her lap. the boy, only seven months, just laughs and reaches for her hair.

amari snorts as she burps little onyankopon. “good luck with that. he’ll just be sittin’ and shittin’,” she chimes in. the little carla look alike is already showing signs of being more than a handful, but he’s just so cute and goofy and loveable that it almost excuses all of it.

ony’s a much more mild-tempered baby, though he does cry a lot. he’s a velcro baby through and through, always wanting to be in someone’s arms. all he has to do is pout his little lip and everyone in the room comes running with open arms. the two have adorable little personalities already and it’s hard to believe that they’re going to be watching two little humans that they birthed grow.

if carla and amari thought they were bonded before their little ones were born, they’re practically attached at the hip now. learning and experiencing motherhood together makes it just a bit easier to get through the tough moments, so they spend a lot of time together. it helps that they’re babies are only a couple months apart.

the two are sitting in amari’s living room with ms. rachel playing softly in the background. eren’s had his diaper changed for the nth time, and now he’s babbling nonsense as he reaches for his baby colleague. amari turns just slightly to where ony, currently on her shoulder, can see him.

“careful, baby,” carla mutters as eren tries to get closer. ony is staring wide eyed in wonder as carla’s mini-me reaches for him, grin on his face and babbles falling from his lips. ony lets out little sounds as he watches, a smile crawling across his chubby face. he squeals excitedly and starts to reach back.

“we made the cutest babies to ever live,” carla coos, eyes watering as she watches the two experience life through their little eyes. she’s so blessed to have her eren, so grateful that the two get to grow up together.

amari’s already imagined it all. they’re going to be close just like their moms are, always having a friend to lean on and have through life’s ups and downs. she’s excited to be able to have a front row seat for it all. “they’re literally gonna be best friends,” amari giggles.

“they have to be. that’s the only thing I’m forcing on this child,” carla snickers.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

“eren, do not climb on that!” grisha scolds, lifting the young boy into his arms. the duo is waiting for armond and ony outside of the zoo and eren’s excitement for the day is high. so high that he needs an outlet now, and grisha can barely keep up. the little gremlin is always giving him a run for his money, and most times he can’t help his laughter.

he’s glad he brought the backpack leash, as embarrassing as it is.

eren starts to wriggle around in his father’s grip, tantrum imminent, but grisha can see armond walking up with ony in the distance. he sets his son down, maneuvering the backpack onto his body because he knows the little trickster will try to take off as soon as he sees his friend.

“you lockin’ lightning up?” armond calls out with a teasing grin, using the nickname he gave eren. they’re still a good few feet away and eren starts to pull against the backpack leash as he reaches for them. “set that lil man free!”

“can’t do that,” grisha chuckles as he watches his overexcited son. “not unless you want to chase after him all day. maybe say hi to the lion when he climbs the fence?” armond just snickers in response and pats the other man’s shoulder.

“rennie!” ony grins, barely being able to pronounce his r’s with his speech impediment. the two fathers watch as eren lets out some type of war cry before charging to hug ony tightly. with all of his energy, the brunette tries to lift the smaller boy in his arms. it’s a struggle because of his lack of strength.

“eren, be careful,” grisha chastises. him and carla are a bit overprotective as parents, especially after losing their first. it doesn’t help that eren’s got the energy of five kids. “did you even ask if you could do that?”

eren just pouts and hugs ony closer. as far as his little brain can comprehend, ony is his. if he wants to lift him, ony’ll let him. “my friend!” eren responds, tugging the other boy closer. ony smiles and throws an arm over eren’s shoulder. “best friend,” ony grins.

it’s adorable how close they are, precious even, but they need a bit of correction.

“I got it, grish,” armond chuckles, placing a hand on the shorter man’s shoulder. it takes a village to raise a kid, and he never minds stepping in. “hey, boys, lemme talk to y’all real quick, yeah?”

the boys watch as armond crouches in front of them. “first, you have to be careful, okay? you don’t wanna get hurt or hurt someone else. I know you two are friends, the best of em all, but you still have to respect each other,” armond smiles warmly. “also, asking for consent is asking for permission. it’s very important because everyone can say ‘no.’ maybe they’re not feeling good and don’t wanna be touched. you guys understand that?”

he gets two cute little nods in return, eren pouting a bit because he feels like he’s in trouble. he just got excited, that’s all. little ony holds him tighter, hoping to hug his sadness away.

“hey, it’s okay, lightning. just be careful from now on,” armond ruffles the young boy’s hair. “just think of it this way: when you’re with someone you care about, they should get the most respect you can give ‘em. that means everything you do and say matters, even the smallest thing. it’s how you show you care and think about their feelings. you get me?”

the boys nod dramatically, always all ears when it comes to armond’s words of wisdom.

“good. gotta raise you boys right,” he grins. “now let’s go see some stinky animals.”

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

“ony-ony!” eren gasps when he sees a car pull up into his family’s driveway. he’s been looking forward to having a playdate with his friend all week and he’s finally here! the little tike can’t help but giggle and bounce in excitement as he watches mrs. amari open the back door to her car.

carla smiles as she watches her son bounce around in excitement, the flopping of his hair a reminder that it’s definitely time for a haircut. she softly cards her hand through his strands and laughs to herself when he ducks her touch.

“mooom, stooop!” he whines. eren calls himself fixing his hair, his small hand ruffling the brown tresses, but it only looks worse. “ony-ony’s here! I get to show him my new toy, right? he’s spending the night, right?! how long is it gonna take them to walk to the door?” he rambles dramatically.

“relax, honey,” carla laughs. “they’ve got to get all of his stuff. and of course you can, you’ll have allll night to play together.”

she waits patiently as amari grabs ony’s bags, but she notices how her friend seems to be almost sullen. carla’s brows furrow momentarily, but she writes it off as the woman just being tired. she'd asked for ony to sleep over to “catch her breath,” so maybe she just needs some time.

the door opens when the two finally approach and both moms watch as eren almost jumps on little ony. he stops himself, always keeping armond’s words in mind, but ony grins brightly and opens his arms wide. eren grins and hugs his friend tight. “you’re finally here!” he cheers. squeezing his friend tight. ony laughs and hugs eren back just as tight. “hi, rennie, I missed you! hi, mrs. c!”

“awww, hi, ony,” carla smiles fondly as she watches the two. she can’t fight her motherly excitement, whipping her phone out and snapping picture after picture. “say cheese, you two!”

the two smile brightly, showing off their matching missing teeth. carla feels her heart squeeze at how adorable the two little best friends are, a reflection of her and her own best friend. ”so cute,” she coos as she looks at the photos. she’s definitely getting those blown up and framed.

carla hears a chuckle from below and looks down to see amari taking little ony’s shoes off. her curls are a bit flatter today, not as springy or vibrant, and it matches her weakened emotional state.

something’s definitely off with her friend, but she can tell amari’s putting on a brave face.

“hi, rennie. you lost a tooth too, huh?” amari smiles softly. usually, she’d be ruffling the kid’s frenzy of brown hair, maybe holding him upside down to make him laugh. her soft greeting doesn’t register as anything different to him in his exuberance. eren nods frantically, holding ony’s hand in his. “mhm! same tooth on the other side, see?” he smiles big and bright, and sure enough, both boys are missing their canines but on opposite sides.

she takes ony’s shoes and lines them up against the wall before patting her son’s head. “you two are so connected, hm? just precious. go on, I know y’all wanna play and talk about all the things,” she laughs. ony smiles up at his mom, rushing forward to give her a really tight squeeze. tighter than normal.

eren beams at his friend. “come on, I wanna show you my new stuff!” before ony can respond, he’s being dragged away by his unruly-haired best friend.

“be careful!” carla calls after the two. it’s mainly towards the overexcited eren because she knows how her son can rope the other little boy into doing just about anything. a sigh from her side catches her attention, and she looks over to amari. the woman is watching the two boys with a certain look in her eyes that carla’s never seen before.

“hey,” she nudges the other woman softly. “what’s going on with you? your sunshine’s dimmer today.”

amari’s not going to cry. she’s tired of crying. but, of course, there’s no end to the tears. she’ll have to deliver the news once again, deal with the way just thinking about it makes her throat clog with poorly restrained sorrow.

“I have… somethin’ to tell you,” she murmurs. carla’s eyebrows furrow in response as her gut fills with a tell-tale intuitive dread. something’s really wrong. she quickly wraps her arm around amari’s shoulders and pulls her close. with that, the two travel to the kitchen together and begin to talk in hushed voices.

the boys are in their own world.

eren is ranting and raving about all of his new toys, informing his friend of his updated rankings. his dinosaur that’s held the top spot has officially been bumped down after months. it’s being replaced by what he considers to be top notch gifts. ony’s watching, as always, and ‘wow!’-ing at all of the cool features of eren’s new number one toy.

“I don’t know what to do, carla,” amari mutters. she watches her son play with her best friend’s boy. the two are laughing blissfully, unaware of the trials and tribulations of life, and amari so wishes that they could stay that way. “we… we’re supposed to have a whole life together, maybe even have another kid. we worked so hard for this family, you know? I’m glad they caught it early, but it’s still so scary. I just have a bad feelin’.”

carla sighs and rubs her friend’s back. she’s never seen the woman so crestfallen. amari and her husband really have worked through so much just to have the happy family they’ve built, and his diagnosis is a huge shock to everyone. they were just planning their first family vacation since they had their little one, an amazing first adventure for him, but everything is scrapped now that they have to think about treatment.

“I know,” carla says softly, her heart hurting with the situation at hand. “I know, mari. I’m so sorry. I wish there was more I could say. you know I’m going to support you both every step of the way.”

amari let’s out a sigh, feeling another tiresome bout of emotions start to rise. she’s cried so much, she didn’t even realize she had any tears left. she keeps thinking about losing her lover, her baby boy losing his father, and it just breaks her heart. she’s grateful for her best friend being there through all of it.

on the other side of the room, ony and eren are now playing their favorite game of cars. ony has a mini car in his favorite color green and eren’s all a buzz about his new fire red one.

the young brunette is once again showing ony the car from all angles, looking excitedly at all the cool designs painted on the sides. he doesn’t notice how little ony’s eyes flicker to his mom’s frame, how his shoulders start to drop, and he doesn’t immediately notice when ony’s usually devout attention redirects to his toy car that he’s slowly rolling back and forth.

ony’s distracted demeanor eventually makes eren scrunch his nose up. it’s a new toy with cool colors and he was excited to show his friend and maybe even let the other boy play with it. but then he follows his gaze and… he understands.

“your mommy’s crying,” eren mumbles. it’s not something either of the boys are used to seeing. amari shines like the sun, bringing light wherever she goes, but her sadness has created a dull overcast now covering the entirety of the home.

ony’s not sure what’s happened in the past week, but even his young self can pick up on the fact that something’s wrong. the house feels quieter. no singing from his parents around breakfast time, no music playing when it’s time to clean… just sullen smiles and lots of really tight hugs. he won’t tell, but he’s heard crying too.

little ony looks back down to his toy car. if he were a puppy, his ears would be down and tail motionless. “somethin’s wrong,” he murmurs.

eren looks at his friend, emerald eyes taking in the furrowed look on his face. he doesn’t like it. not at all. “hey,” he pokes at the young boy’s greased up knees. “I don’ like when you’re sad,” he says. “feel better.”

ony’s lower lip pouts. “don’t know how to feel better if I dunno what’s wrong,” he mumbles, sadly rolling his car back and forth.

ugh, eren really doesn’t like this. he doesn’t like seeing his friend sad, and he doesn’t like how his friend’s sadness makes him sad. eren frowns, eyebrows furrowed and lip pouting. “you’re my friend. I want you to feel better, so I wanna help. can I?”

ony smiles a bit at his friend’s determination. he can always count on his rennie.

“yeah, rennie. you can,” he murmurs.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

“I got it, momma,” ony mumbles, taking the bags from her hands. she’d gone grocery shopping earlier that day, wanting– no, needing fresh air. life is trying to choke her fire out, it seems, but she perseveres.

or compartmentalizes.

“thank you, baby. didn’t think you’d be home. why don’t you spend some time with rennie? it’s saturday,” amari says tiredly. ony shakes his head and swats her hand away when she goes to reach for more bags.

“I got it , momma,” he smiles. it’s a tense smile, the one he gives when he doesn’t want to add onto her long list of burdens. he’s training himself to never be on that list, no matter what. she already has too much to carry. “wanted to keep an eye on dad. he’s… having a tough day.”

amari’s eyes close briefly at that. tough days are starting to increase in number and she’s barely catching her breath. she’s trying to hold it together. for armond, for ony, for herself. “nausea?” she asks softly.

“and neuropathy,” ony says quietly. armond tries to hide it, but he’s struggling. the nerves in his hands and feet ache from the chemo and he’s getting more nauseous and lightheaded the further he gets into his treatment. it hurts to watch.

the sigh amari lets out is heavy with exhaustion.

“go rest, ma,” ony says carefully. he hates when her shoulders fall like that, weighed down by the world. if he could carry it all just to see his mom smile, he would. “I know you exhausted. just take the day.”

“I can’t let you do that, ony,” amari smiles weakly. “let me handle it, okay? momma’s got it.” she starts to head inside as she mentally encourages herself.

ony bites his tongue, but only for a moment. he simply can’t watch his mom try to carry everything anymore. he can’t. he has to step up. “momma,” he calls after her, voice firm. “let me. I know, okay? you wanna protect me. but I wanna protect you just as much.”

amari turns to look at her son, seeing the look in his eyes. she knows. she understands. and as much as she doesn’t want to burden her son with anything a child shouldn’t be burdened with, she really needs this day.

“you’re so much like your father,” she says, voice tinted with pride but also pain. stubborn, caring, protective, always wanting to take care of things. she sees so much of her lover in their son, and she’s grateful, even if it hurts sometimes.

she reaches to caress her son’s cheek. he’s so tall for his age, just like his dad, and it won’t be long before he surpasses his mother. ony leans into her touch.

“we’re gonna get through this, okay?” she murmurs tenderly. “it’s hard, and there’s not much I can say to make it better. but I love you, onyankopon, and we’re gonna get through this.”

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

it’s a sunny day in the city of trost, a beautiful saturday morning. the spring air is fresh and rejuvenating for those out and about and many are thinking and planning a way to enjoy such a lovely day.

it’s a cruel twist of fate, the town buzzing and happy on the day ony lays his father to rest.

he wishes the sky would cry like he is, how his mom does every night and morning. he wishes the weather would reflect the storm he’s feeling inside. he wishes the clouds were overflowing like he is.

eren and his mother spent the night beforehand spending time with their respective friends. carla held amari as she cried rivers of sorrow and eren let ony rest his head on his shoulder as the younger boy struggled with the weight of both his and his mom’s hurt. it was a hard night. much like the years, months, weeks spent watching his father wither away. much like the day his father joined the ancestors.

“you gotta get up, ony,” eren mumbles. it hurts to watch his friend like this, but he has no intentions of looking away. he’ll be there for him in his need, searching for any way possible to soothe him.

“I can’t,” ony forces out. his throat is rough, his eyes are swollen, and his heart is heavy. he can’t do this day and he doesn’t want to. he can’t listen to his mom cry anymore as the pain of her sobs could bring him to his knees. he feels weak. physically, mentally, emotionally.

this whole process has changed ony’s life. his entire experience of this world is now tainted with grief. he’s had to deal with his own but also his mother’s who can barely find the strength to stand. he wants to carry them both, but he doesn’t even know how to keep from drowning in his own hurt.

eren’s eyes close as his heart aches for his friend. he’s tasted a loss that eren can’t relate to. they’re both so young and eren doesn’t feel like he can offer what ony really needs right now. he wants to do more, needs to be the friend that’s needed right now, but he doesn’t know how. he doesn’t know what to say or do.

“I’m… I’m gonna go get my mom. she can help,” eren chokes out. he can’t sit here and watch the younger boy suffer without knowing how to support him. he feels useless just standing by the bed, watching as ony sinks into the painful comfort of his depression. he turns to leave the room, only to feel a tight grip on his wrist.

ony’s feeling too many things all at once, and he can’t bring himself to fall apart in front of anyone other than eren. the brunette never presses him, never looks at him with pity in his eyes. he doesn’t want to bother his mom, doesn’t want her to use what’s left of her strength to lift him up. just eren’s presence is enough to keep him from succumbing to the impossible weight holding him down. he needs him to be by his side today, no one but him.

“I need you, ren,” ony murmurs. it’s raw and vulnerable and although eren can’t see the boy’s face, he knows he’s crying again. ony sniffles before speaking again, his words hitting eren right in his chest. “I can’t– I just… I need you. just you.”

eren maneuvers ony’s hand into his own, giving it a meaningful squeeze. those words fill him with a strength he didn’t know he had. ony’s asking. asking for him, for his comfort, for his presence. like hell he’s leaving now, not when ony needs him like he does.

“I’m here. I’ll always be here,” eren replies with renewed conviction. “scoot over.”

ony looks up, half of his face covered by his arm. his eyes are tired and red, so puffy from the oceans of tears that have escaped his honey-colored eyes. “huh?” he rasps.

“scoot over,” eren mumbles again. less confident, but still intent. “I just wanna… can I… hold you?”

ony doesn’t say anything, but his heart beats faster. he wordlessly scoots over to make room for his friend. his best friend. eren crawls in beside him, hesitant at first, but soon his arm loops around ony and pulls him close.

they stay there for a while, ony crying and holding onto eren tightly. they stay there until they have no choice but to get ready for the day ahead. but just like he promised, eren stays by ony’s side all day.

and every day after.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

”you thinkin’ too hard,” ony murmurs quietly, breaking the silence between the two. the best friends are sitting in ony’s living room, absentmindedly watching an old re-run of ‘living single.’. he nudges eren with his knee. his touch is familiar and welcome by the brunette, even if not expressed.

ony’s holding his baby sister close to his heart, responsible for watching her while amari makes a quick run. his thoughts are on his silent and broody friend, but his eyes are on maya. he’s making sure that if she so much as coughs, he can react in a couple of seconds flat. she’s using her inhuman baby strength to grip his shirt tight and she’s having the time of her life as she chews on her teething ring. ony couldn’t be more content.

except for the obvious dark cloud over his friend’s head.

eren scoffs quietly and rolls his eyes. he’s always thinking too hard, it’s nothing new. there’s always something tinkering up there, it’s why he’s always moving somehow. a shaking leg, a fiddling hand, a pen twirled between usually charcoal-stained fingers. it’s a habit he’s always had and something he can’t seem to control. or care to control.

the tan boy lazily rubs a hand over his short brown hair, ruffling it in a way his mother wouldn’t approve of. had she seen him, she’d be fussing and reaching for the growing boy’s mop of strands with a pair of scissors.

“yeah, well,” he starts, leaning back on the park bench. “I’m flunking english. I gotta cram a semester’s worth of shit for a retest or my mom’s gonna kill me.” he’s stressed, but it’s not an unfamiliar predicament. he’s been in this position many times before, and he hopes he can get by with the skin of his teeth to just graduate and be done with it.

ony sighs, eyes closing just for a moment to calm his nerves. he should’ve known.

soon, his eyes are back on maya. “told yo’ as–... told you to ask armin to help you study for that exam. you know you don’t do tests, e,” he sighs. the older boy’s pride is always keeping him from asking for help and it always takes the same expected turn.

ony’s just trying to help, but he hit a sore spot. eren’s face scrunches much too quickly, overly reactive as per usual. what he heard was: ”you’re stupid, ask your genius adopted brother.” not even close to what was said, but eren absolutely hates feeling stupid, and the mention of armin is an instant trigger in that regard.

“why does everyone think I’m incapable? that genius little fuck—“

“—watch your mouth, maya’s right here—“

“—that little twink—“

“—that ain’t much better?—”

“—armin isn’t the solution to all life’s problems. I can figure it out,” eren finally spits out.

ony’s not surprised, but it does make him realize the insensitive nature of his delivery.

armin’s definitely a genius, there’s no doubt about it. he’s skipped a grade, is in those college prep classes, and he speaks three languages. he’s student body president, president of the debate club, and already has three college acceptances.

eren’s been lucky to even pass to the grade he’s in now.

he’s not stupid, he just learns differently. apparently a way that no one cares to teach. his mom used to struggle teaching him his letters and numbers because they’d just get jumbled in his head. he’s had tutors since he was young, but all of them have been the most condescending, impatient, and compassionless people he’s ever had to deal with.

grisha’s salary has them both in one of the most prestigious schools in the city, so naturally, the comparisons are many.

it grates eren’s nerves.

he’d never hate the blonde. no, they’ve bonded way too much at this point. but he resents him to a degree. report card day, end of the year awards ceremony, test scores… it’s all drowned by a feeling of just not being good enough. armin always brings home a stunning report, always has a list of awards and recognitions. and eren…

well, eren’s passing. it’s an accomplishment that’s celebrated because his parents really are proud of him, cheering him on all the same. but standing next to armin in that moment just makes him feel small.

so no, eren’s not asking the cabbage patch kid for help.

ony’s silent for a moment. he knows what eren’s going through, he’s heard him talk about it time and time again. he was there when eren was first excited for a little brother, the thought of the boy’s parents adopting after being unable to have another kid something to look forward to.

he was there when eren first started talking about armin. how the blonde was really shy but warmed up when eren decided to be a good big brother and show him all his video games. the two bonded like they’d always been together, and ony had to shake off the ridiculous trickles of jealousy.

he was there when the admiration turned to acknowledgement. eren went from singing armin’s praises to saying how he felt dumb talking to him.

and he was there when the acknowledgement turned to comparison.

“can I?” he asks quietly, turning to hold eren’s emerald gaze. it’s unfamiliar for the current circumstance. ony keeps his eyes on his sister always, serious about his responsibility of watching over her when their parents are gone since she’s so young and close to his heart.

but now, he’s looking at eren with something in his eyes that he doesn’t see from many.

understanding.

his eyes are on eren. the boy who’s usually in his little brother’s shadow, the boy usually at the back of the line. he sees him, he understands him, and he doesn’t pity him. eren’s eyebrow raises and his stomach does something funny.

“can you what?” the brunette asks. ony tilts his head.

“can I tutor you? for your retest?”

eren blinks. ony watches him.

ony’s not at the top of the class, but he’s not far from it. the only reason he’s able to go to such an expensive school is because he’s on an academic scholarship. with his dad passing, he wanted to become the “man of the house,” but his mom quickly encouraged he let go of the notion. he wanted to make up for their loss, help carry her as she takes care of him. she told him his responsibility was to be a kid and focus on school.

so that’s what he focused on. he focused so well that he’s in this fancy ass school with all of these palm colored people, eating lunches that could quite frankly use a lot more salt to sound so complicated. he’s always been stubborn, so it didn’t take him long to start stepping up in the house too.

now his mom has a new job and fell in love again, like she promised her late husband she would. she’s married to mario now, a guy that’s actually pretty decent and a great father figure. the house is more alive now and he has a new responsibility of watching over his lovely little sister, who he’d do anything for.

they’re not rich, but they’re not struggling. now he sees that he can kind of just… do whatever, if he keeps going. nothing calls to him as a purpose quite yet, aside from wanting to be a good man like his father was. to make him proud and take care of those close to him.

he knows how to study, different techniques for remembering things, different ways of understanding the same thing. he could tutor anyone, really. but for eren… it’s a sensitive topic. the brunette gets embarrassed by the way he struggles with certain problems, gets frustrated at his own inability to learn the same as everyone else.

ony knows that.

“…you’d do that?” eren asks, his eyebrows furrowing.

“I’d do whatever for you,” ony mumbles. his eyes hold nothing but sincerity, the years together solidifying their bond like no other. eren’s been there for him through all of life’s toughest moments, the happiest too. he’s been his shoulder to cry on, one of the first people ony delivers good news to, and the younger boy will never forget that. he’ll always show how much he cares for his friend.

he turns to face forward again, letting maya’s little hand wrap around his finger.. “you know I’d do whatever for you,” he adds for good measure.

eren does know that. he’s known that for a long time.

he’s known it since ony’s been there for every rant, listening to all the words eren usually keeps to himself. he’s known it since the first time ony told him that he understood, the sincerity in his eyes then never changing over the years they’ve known each other. he’s known that through every hardship that the two have faced, every celebration and milestone, always together and leaning on each other.

he’s never felt more heard and seen than the moments he’s sat at the other young man’s side. he’s never remembered a time when that wasn’t his reality, doesn’t remember a life without their friendship.

“…yeah, okay. you can,” eren answers quietly.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

there’s confetti everywhere, stray graduation caps scattered across the football field as cheers ring from all over. people are searching for their families and friends in the crowd, tears and bright smiles on their faces.

ony feels his lungs fill with fresh air, feeling so light after years of hard work. it’s hard to believe, but he’s grateful for it. he hopes his mom is proud, though he’s sure she’s probably cried enough to fill a lake today. he hopes the sun’s increased brightness is due to his father’s pride. he hopes that he can keep going, that this isn’t all he can accomplish.

he tries to focus on the win, not the fear of the unknown trying to crawl into his skin.

two hands clasp onto ony shoulders, giving them a warm squeeze. “can you believe we actually did it?” eren grins. he’s more than glad to be free from the hell of high school, and he’s so damn excited that he got accepted into his dream art school. “come on, we gotta find our moms before they cry their eyes out or something.”

eren tries to pull ony away, but ony doesn’t budge. eren finds himself being tugged into his strong grip. ony’s hand presses against the older boy’s back as he holds him close, other hand cupping the back of his neck.

“I’m so fuckin’ proud of you, eren,” he murmurs into the boy’s shoulder, who blinks in surprise. “of us. there’s no guarantees in life, but we did it. through everything, we did that shit.”

eren can’t help but melt a little at that. he’s right. in all the excitement and eren’s desire to just go home after this early ass graduation, he hadn’t taken the time to just… be proud and grateful.

eren wraps his arms around ony’s torso and squeezes him tight just like he always has. he’d try to lift his friend, but the boy’s solid muscle and probably wouldn’t even budge.

“I’m proud of you, too,” eren mumbles. “armond would be so proud of who you’re becoming. I know you’re gonna figure out what you wanna be, ony-ony. trust that.”

ony laughs at the old nickname, patting eren on the back before pulling away. the two look at each other, emerald and honey eyes meeting intimately.

eren clears his throat and looks away. “we should go, yeah? I’m hungry as fuck. stomach’s about to be touching my back.”

ony smiles fondly. “yeah. just… before we go,” he murmurs. “you goin’ to school miles away, chasing your dreams. ren, you’re gonna do big things. that art of yours is meaningful and it makes people feel and see you the way I do. I’ll always support you. just don’t forget about me, aight?”

eren rolls his eyes. ony’s been stuck to him like glue since birth almost. there’s no future in his eyes without ony. “I’d never. shit’s not even possible,” he shakes his head. “now come on. I want some of your ma’s mac n’ cheese.”

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

eren and his brother stand on the outskirts of their parent’s backyard. the space is abuzz with guests for their fourth of july celebration, streamers and fireworks that they know they’ll have to clean later strewn about. eren’s itching to sneak away to smoke a quick joint, maybe get his brother to take a hit or two for the vibes, but he’s on the lookout for a familiar face that he hasn’t seen in person for a while.

his best friend, his partner in crime, the man that stayed in town while eren went to a distant college in a distant city. the brunette’s been pursuing an art degree, using his privilege from his dad’s occupation to pursue the one thing that quiets his brain, but ony stayed in town to be close to his family and try to figure out what he wants out of life.

they haven’t lost contact, of course. they’re best friends. the two have stayed connected through facetimes and text messages, but eren still really misses him.

maybe more than he should.

this’ll be their first time seeing each other since last summer because eren stayed an extra few weeks away for an internship. he worked through all of his breaks to finish up his projects, always getting lost in the art of expression. he’s gained great opportunities working with and learning from the best, even as a rising junior. he’s passionate, chasing his dream of creating and expressing himself in a way that people can actually understand and connect with.

for what feels like the first time, eren is excelling in school.

but he missed his family, and that includes ony.

there’s an outbreak of obnoxious laughter from mario as he and grisha play some kind of game, the tall man always too loud when the drinks get flowing. eren actually likes him, but damn is he noisy. it makes him reach to check for the plastic tube and lighter in his pocket, wanting to make sure he has everything he needs before he slips away.

he stops in his tracks when he sees his best friend enter the backyard through the gate.

he looks straight out of a movie, really. eren’s phone screen didn’t do him justice. his hair is freshly cut, line-up impeccable and waves able to drown whoever looks too closely. his dark skin is glistening as the sun sets, cut off sleeves revealing muscular arms with new tattoos all healed up. eren feels a funny feeling tingle in his stomach when he sees just how ripped ony’s gotten, how his smile shines much like his mothers, how he’s grown.

but then his stomach drops.

“...who the fuck is that?” eren grumbles. his voice has way too much bite and his eye is threatening to start twitching from overstimulation and irritation.

armin looks up from his phone, pushing at his face out of habit of wearing glasses. contacts. right. “who’s wh– oh. oh. you… didn’t know?”

there, in all his glory, is ony walking hand-in-hand with someone.

a guy.

a guy eren’s never seen or heard of before.

he’s short, close to armin’s height, and most likely mixed with his light skin and curly hair. he’s thin, clad in some jean shorts and a tank top. eren can’t make out much of his features from the distance, but it doesn’t matter. he’s not unattractive by any means, but anyone pales in comparison to ony.

“didn’t know?” eren asks, eyes flickering to the blonde. “you did?”

armin’s mouth opens and closes as he struggles to answer. his eyes flick over to jeremy, introduced to him at the beginning of summer. the young man follows behind ony as he greets people, smiling at some with familiarity and others with a soft shyness as he’s introduced. loose curls blow in the wind, dimples are revealed when he smiles a certain way, and eren wants to vomit.

there’s no way this is happening. first off, if ony was dating anyone, eren would and should be the first to know as his best friend. the two have been friends since diapers and have shared every secret, every life event, every frustration since the dawn of damn time. second off, a guy? ony’s never said anything about being gay. and again, if he were to come out to anyone first, it should be eren.

there’s a mysterious third thing ringing in the back of his head that he doesn’t acknowledge.

does ony not… lean on him anymore? do they not share that protective bubble anymore? what happened to talking about everything? being each other’s go to person? seems like eren’s the one being left behind. he’s never feared losing ony because he never thought he’d have to. he thought they’d always be side by side.

no, eren doesn’t like this. he doesn’t like how he can feel his whole world tilting. eren’s in shambles. spiraling. at a fourth of july party in his parent’s backyard.

“is this drink spiked or something?” he mumbles, even glancing down to his glass almost dramatically as he tries to come to terms with what he’s seeing and hearing and feeling. he just feels off and out of place, almost like he’s wearing two left shoes. he can’t make sense of it.

armin quickly tries to do damage control, knowing that eren’s mind is coming up with a whirlwind of thoughts that are more than likely moving way too damn fast. “um, maybe he jus–”

“what’s his name?” eren mumbles. his eyes are still on the stranger, but his usually vibrant irises are darkening with each thought. he’s picking him apart from afar.

“it’s jeremy, but–”

eren scoffs. “fuck ass name. what do you know about him?” it’s not like the boy has any control over his given name, and eren hasn’t even met him to form a true opinion about him. his hurt is clouding his judgement, not thinking clearly with such a sudden change in his life.

“well…” armin starts hesitantly. “ony introduced us when I got back. he didn’t say much, just introduced him as his boyfriend and left it at that.” it was weird at the time, side eyes all around on that day. no judgement for him being with another guy, but everyone had kind of grown to think that other guy would be eren.

“boyfriend?” eren asks, head snapping to look back at his brother. a few others close by look over at his volume as armin tries to shush him discreetly. “there’s no way in hell. how the fuck did he not tell me?”

“eren alexander,” he hears from his side. he frowns and turns to fuss, but the look in his mom’s eyes stops him. carla can send the fear of God through the boy with a simple look, and he’s feeling pretty fearful right now, despite his frustration.

she’d been walking over to give the two young men some popsicles from the secret stash she keeps hidden (eren will blow through the whole bag in a week if she didn’t) and overheard the conversation. even if she knows the depth of eren’s feelings better than he understands himself, she won’t let eren cause a scene in front of everyone, especially grisha’s colleagues. lord knows she’s been just barely dealing with their spouses.

“go cool down and take some breaths,” she states, holding the sweet treat out to him. she’s still got that look in her eyes, the one she passed down to eren, but hers is a lot more bone-chilling.

“but he didn’t tell me,” he presses, his eyebrows furrowed. he’s hurt, and it’s plain to see all in his eyes. they always tell the story of what he’s feeling, and right now? he’s struggling. blindsided by the one person he trusts with all of him.

carla softens at that. she knows why he’s hurting, even if he doesn’t realize the root of his own pain. if she’d had her way, she would’ve sat the boy down to have a conversation about ony a long time ago, but grisha warned against it. ”he’s stubborn, you know that. there are some things he needs to figure out on his own,” he said. and he’s right to a point.

she just hates to watch her son struggle through something he’s feeling so deeply.

“I know, ren,” she murmurs softly. “just… go sit, okay? don’t jump to conclusions. you can talk things out with a clear head.”

eren sighs and closes his eyes momentarily. it’s not that big of a deal, is it?

it is. but whatever. he’ll shove his feelings down since they’re too much for everyone else.

he grabs the popsicle and walks away, leaving his mom and brother to exchange glances. he can almost feel the metaphorical cloud gathering above his head as he makes his way to his secret spot in his mom’s garden. instead of sitting on the bench, he sits on the ground behind it, his hand instinctively reaching for the lighter and tube in his pocket.

his eyebrows are furrowed as he pulls the pre-rolled joint out. his mind is racing, racing, racing as he places it between his lips and lights it. he just can’t help but wonder what he did wrong.

the two have talked often but ony never mentioned any of this. he feels like the rug has been ripped from underneath him and his chest feels hollow. why the hell didn’t he say anything? and why the hell are eren’s hands shaking?

he’s supposed to be calming down. he’s supposed to be taking breaths like his mom said. the popsicle in his hand is melting as he takes hit after hit, mind whirling and coming up with scenario after scenario. he inhales quickly when he burns his finger, not even realizing that he’d been sitting so long that he smoked up his joint.

“shit,” he murmurs, quickly putting it out on the stone bench behind him. he forces himself to take a breath, trying to get his mind to center and stop running like crazy. he’s so distracted that he can’t hear the approaching footsteps.

ony’s quiet as he walks up. he dreads the coming conversation and the guilt that’s already bubbled up in his chest.

honestly, he didn’t think eren would be here since he’s always postponing coming home. eren’s been… busy. busy losing himself in his work, chasing his passions, and essentially leaving ony behind. he’s got his own life and future bright ahead of him and ony truly believes that one day, he won’t be standing by his side anymore.

he feels forgotten.

because unlike eren, ony just can’t seem to find his passion, his purpose. he’s going to a local university, spending time with his family, working part time as a security guard. he feels distant from everyone else, all his friends going after what they want in life. he pales in comparison.

that’s when jeremy entered the situation.

they bonded quickly, bumping into each other at a restaurant. ony had almost knocked the poor boy down and was more than apologetic for it. a couple of drinks in, jeremy used his temporary confidence to tell the taller gentleman to make it up to him with dinner. and he did.

ever the one to please, jeremy repaid him that night with his tongue, his touch, and his attention.

ony had tasted the experience of being with a woman before and enjoyed it thoroughly, but because of a pull to a certain brunette, he was always cognizant of the fact that he could be bi. that night confirmed it for him.

things continued to grow between the two. ony figured that with eren continuing to focus elsewhere, maybe this is where he’s meant to be. eren will do great things, just as ony always expected, and ony’s journey will take him down a separate path. he’d save himself the trouble of expecting anything different, shove that tug in his gut away, and continue to figure life out for himself.

“hey, e,” ony greets lowly. instead of sitting next to the artist on the ground, he sits on the bench behind him. he wouldn’t want to risk getting caught in the storm brewing in the brunette. it’s a bad choice. if anyone knows eren’s habit of taking even the slightest thing personally, it’s ony. because of course he takes notice of the empty spot next to him. it’s like salt in the wound.

“boyfriend, huh?” eren mumbles. his original excitement to see his favorite person has been replaced with hurt feelings, so fuck a greeting. “you never mentioned him.”

ony sighs in response. he hadn’t meant to blindside him, not at all. it’s a strange topic to approach considering his own complex feelings about the situation. he wonders what exactly has eren so upset. is it just that they hadn’t discussed it or is it maybe something more? he won’t make assumptions, no matter how deep the desire.

he tries to smooth it over with humor. if he can get the brunette to laugh, that’s all he needs.

“figured you wouldn’t care too much about my shit, mr. picasso,” he murmurs, reaching over to flick a tuft of brown hair. the look eren throws over his shoulder makes him feel dumb as shit, but he’s surprised when eren simply turns around to face forward again and mumbles a “whatever.”

ony doesn’t like that. at all.

in all their years, he’s never been brushed off by the brunette. if he’s angry, he’ll fuss. if he’s sad, he’ll cry. eren’s no stranger to shoving his feelings down, but not with ony. never with ony.

the dark skinned man fears he may have taken a fatal step. something in his gut sinks, screaming that he made a wrong turn that’ll cost him. he watches eren for a moment, almost frozen.

”when you’re with someone you care about, they should get the most respect you can give ‘em. that means everything you do and say matters, even the smallest thing.”

he feels like there’s something unspoken. eren’s not just upset about not being told. sure, they tell each other everything, but the hurt seems deeper. had he known his avoidance would come back to bite him in the ass, he would’ve forced himself to have the courage to communicate. “don’t be like that, e. I’m sorry,” he murmurs. really, he is.

eren can’t exactly put this betrayal into words. he can’t explain why he feels sick to his stomach about this whole ordeal. so his best friend is dating someone and didn’t tell him. what’s the big issue? he doesn’t have the bandwidth to figure this out right now. he just wants to be left alone.

“nah, it’s whatever. we can’t be up each other’s asses 24/7, I guess. happy for you,” eren shrugs. eren is indeed not happy, but he’ll say what he needs to in order to get ony out of his face. he needs to process. his fingers itch for some charcoal and a canvas.

he can’t explain to ony why his heart feels so heavy, and for the first time, he doesn’t want to.

“eren,” ony presses. he can tell the artist is shoving his feelings down, shutting ony out like never before. it’s unfamiliar and sickening in a way ony just can’t deal with. “just talk to me. I’ll listen, you know that. tell me I fucked up. tell me you’re mad. tell me what’s wrong.”

deep down, eren wants to talk. he wants to yell and scream and figure out why the hell his heart is wrenching in his chest. he wants to push ony away but also pull him closer. he wants war, but also solitude, but also a hug that squeezes his pain away. he wants to ask ony so many questions.

but the distant look in eren’s eye proves that the door to his heart and mind is shutting. whatever battle he’s fighting, he’s fighting on his own. there’s a wall building between the two that’s never been there, and it feels heavier than anyone can bear. ony can’t lift it on his own, and eren refuses to open up.

“it doesn’t matter, ony. you’re happy. you don’t need me anymore,” eren mumbles. it makes ony tense.

“what? no. I do need you. I always have and always will,” he presses. “I ain’t tell you. I’m sorry. you’ve just– you’re focused, e. you out living yo’ life, and I’m proud of that. I just… I have to figure things out for myself. that’s it.”

eren’s eyebrows furrow as he turns to look at his friend. “I’ve told you about every art piece, every showing. just because I’m focused, doesn’t mean I don’t wanna live life with you in it. I’ve invited you to come, or did you forget about that? what, did fuck-ass jeremy not wanna come?”

“don’t do that,” ony shakes his head. he wanted to go, he did. but between work and babysitting maya and school and the ever-living comparisons ony puts himself through, he couldn’t. it was never jeremy. “don’t disrespect my boy like that.”

“your boy?” eren laughs humorlessly, shoving up off of the ground. “yeah, this is bullshit. I’m going inside.”

“what’s yo’ problem, man?” ony fusses, standing himself. “I get it, I should’ve told you. but you’re acting like I—“

“just forget about it!” eren yells. he can’t deal with this. he can’t even understand for himself, let alone explain it to someone else. especially the person he feels betrayed by. “go to your boy. I don’t give a shit anymore. he can have you.”

he doesn’t think, the words just slip, much like the way he can feel eren slipping away. the fear, the feelings of not being enough, it’s all coming tumbling out in the worst way and to the one person he never wants to hurt.

“have me? like I was ever yours in the first place?”

eren freezes.

wow. wow, is all eren can think. he feels twisted up, discarded, left out to dry. there’s a hole building in his chest that makes him want to cry and scream. he was hurting before, but now it’s just too much. those words were too much.

“fuck you, onyankopon,” eren spits. he feels an arm wrapping around him, the scent of his mom’s perfume wafting through his nose as she tries to calm him. he doesn’t know when she got there, but he doesn’t care.

“so much for being forgotten, huh?” the brunette forces the words out with all of him, feeling tears prickle at his eyes. “fuck this. I wish you the best, ony. I’ll just excuse myself since it ain’t with me.”

carla tries to stop him, pleading with him to just take a breath and relax, think about what he’s saying. it’s all muffled in his ear as he storms away.

ony wants to chase after him. scream and say he was wrong, fuck jeremy if it means no eren, no sunshine from the passion that pours out of the boy like no one he’s ever seen. but he remembers that this was always going to happen. maybe not like this, but somehow.

eren’s meant to do more than ony could ever dream of. he was always going to leave. the dark skinned man never thought it’d be his own fault, but he figures the ending would’ve never changed.

so he lets him leave.

there was a shift that day between the two friends. what was once an uninhibited and safe connection slowly became an unbridgeable gap. words unspoken, emotions no longer shared, touch a distant memory.

you can have my heart and soul,

but only if you never leave.

the story of the sun and moon,

separated before the stars came to be.

a/n: me vs wanting to turn every idea into a chapter fic. I love writing with detail out the ass, wanted this to be like 20k. how we feelin’ chat? yay or nay? feedback welcome!

wanted to release everything at one time but it's just too much goin on. I’m swamped but the full shebang is still coming.

my updates are slow, no lie. but! taglist is open <3

taglist: @empressdede

[konpeitonom]

I was wondering if I could ask for some fluffy (+ nsfw if youre comfortable) headcanons about recovered/rescued curly x reader? I’ve seen very few fics about him and I’m so madly in love with him (particularly how ladonb.kokosa on tiktok draws him).

I think Curly would feel guilty about dating and sex because of his disabilities, inaction, and trauma but the reader is still head over heels for him anyway ❤️‍🩹

recovered/rescued captain grant curly headcanons.

sfw/nsfw — lowercase intended ^_^

g/n reader - no pronouns mentioned

requests are open and heavily encouraged, i write for every mw character ^.^

notes; i daydream about this exact curly too!! oh god i love this artist.. writing this in the perspective of you were his spouse previously. let me know if you’d like it if you met him afterwards :)

these r also a bit short so maybe a part 2 if i’m up for it/anyone else would want it. not proofread i never will sorry. this is my 3rd post today i am insane and happy to write!

.. nsfw section is written from the perspective of me, a girl, so sorry men if you cannot relate or feels it doesn’t apply to you too much. i try my best as a non-writer haha. minors don’t read that part thank you please…

here he is in his late forties - early fifties.

SFW

— he feels an intense amount of emotions knowing you waited as long as you did for him— that in those 15-20 years he was gone you didn’t move on *at all?*.. to come back in the state he was in, he felt a lot of guilt.

— he feels even more guilt when you saw him in said state, and still stayed with him throughout the multiple surgeries and months in the hospital.

— that smile of yours always cheered him up. and your reassurance was most comforting. he was lucky to have you as you are lucky to have him.

— curly felt as if he’d have to overcompensate for lost time. he’d plan dates, give you flowers, gift you chocolates or candies you liked. small things like that. he did it often pre-crash but he now does it enough to where it’s still a little special when he does.

— it would take him a long time to tell you what happened, truly. for legal reasons i’d assume he’d have to tell government officials, the media, or some kind of authority what had happened — but the details of it, id take a lot of time for him to speak about. he’d have to speak to a therapist about it first.

— when it came to his inaction, that and the immense survivors guilt he likely holds, he would be scared you’d leave. he’d be upset if you tried to justify his actions too. he knows what he did was wrong. and he doesn’t need you or anyone to tell him otherwise.

— i’m sure curly would donate a lot of the money he receives from media attention, that or encourage people to donate to charities that focus on gender based violence or sexual assault victims. he feels owed too. it’s the very least he could do now.

— back to his relationship with you.. sometimes all he wants is you. sometimes all he wants is to cry in bed as you’re there with him. your mere presence, all of you, is a huge comfort for him.

— he loves that you’re still your happy, old self. and he understands, he’d probably be happy too if someone you thought was dead just came back.

— if i recall correctly, he was in that state for 5 months? most of the time, if anya wasn’t there replacing his bandages or nursing him- he was most likely alone. he doesn’t like the thought of that. and therefore doesn’t want to ever be alone again.

— if you’d allow him, he wants to feel you all over. not in a sexual way. he wants to touch your arms, your fingers, your neck, your cheeks, your face. the feeling of you in his arms feels like gods blessing im sure.

— he’d ask about you. he’s so excited too. he wants updates to your life, your family. what do you like to do now? what’s changed since? do you still like this and that?

— he feels upset that he missed out on those parts of your life, but at the same time he knows that you probably kept him in his heart all those times without him.

— help him get back into his old hobbies!! keep him physically active. update him on all the video games he’s missed, all the movies he’s missed. movie days are probably his favorites. keep him busy.

NSFW

minors do not read

— i believe a strap-on device has to be used, or toys. he is open to all, but he’d enjoy using his hands to please you. it feels more intimate and close. he loves nothing more than touching you— in any way.

— he is old, ok. he lacks stamina, 1 round is enough for him- as long as it’s enough for you. but he is very experienced.

— hand holder!! he loves to hold your hand during sex.. this is canon. i am wrongorgan. he’d rub your palms as you shake, asking “is this okay? does that feel good?” .. please reassure him he thinks it’s the sexiest thing ever.

— uses your facial expressions to reassure himself. he thinks it’s cute when you bite your tongue to suppress your moans. or when your face is all flushed and sweaty. that means hes doing a good job.

— eye contact.. please make eye contact with him. he does struggle a bit with loving himself (especially assuming this is a 1-3 years after he was rescued), but as long as you love him then he shouldn’t have reason to worry.

— loves it when you place your hands on his face, caress his jawline as he fucks you slowly. i think he also likes it when your hands scratch his back. again, it tells him he’s doing a good job.

— i think it’s obvious with the way i write him but he loves talking during sex. i mean, he likes incoherent noises too- just as much as he does talking. but your words mean so much to him. and there’s just so much he wants to say.

— like.. “god, you’re so cute. have you always been like this, sweetheart?” !! he is a gentleman, ok?

— he still prefers a dominant role. he is a service top if i’ve ever seen one. even before the crash, sex is all about you, you, you, then maybe him.

— for the first few times he would be extremely careful and gentle. intimacy is not something he likes to rush. after he gets a bit more comfortable he’d be open to exploring again. like you did as younger adults, but still. he’s old and you’re probably old too ^.^

— feels like he has to make up for all the times you were probably lonely, sexually, the time he was missing.

[cripplecharacters]

Howdy! I’m working on a story with a side character who has mild to moderate intellectual disability from fetal alcohol spectrum disorder.

The character really likes dinosaurs and I was considering having the character buy presents for his family members all with dinosaurs because that’s what makes him happy. But I was wondering if this would perpetuate harmful stereotypes? Any insight wanted thank you!

I was also wondering about writing his speech and how his family talk to him. I’m assuming they use simplified language? But I’m not sure what that looks like in general conversation.

Hey!

If it's not presented as child-like or "stupid" by the narrative, I have no problem with it - seems realistic to me. I know a person from who attended SPED with me who did basically the same thing (except not dinosaurs specifically and with more or less everyone rather than just family members). I also appreciate an intellectually disabled character that's shown to have some deeper characterization to them, so that's cool to see.

Speech/language/verbality is a more complicated thing. It's a really broad spectrum in the context of intellectual disability. Some people will have it essentially unaffected - either because their ID is mild, or they have a specific disorder, like Williams Syndrome, where language doesn't tend to be affected much - and some have it be very obvious. To my understanding FASD doesn't specifically affect language abilities more than 'regular' intellectual disability.

If your character has mild ID, there's a chance his linguistic skills won't affect the dialogue 90% of the time. You can have him ask another character for clarification on what they said, for example, or ask them to reword a run-on sentence because he got lost 2 clauses ago. He might have poorer intuition when it comes to pronouncing an ambiguous word for the first time (for example, not noticing the pattern that the word is built on and breaking the syllables up incorrectly). He could have a particular tone of voice (most commonly: monotone) that you could mention in the dialogue tags. But things like incorrect basic grammar or misunderstanding everyday words are not a feature of mild ID (on its own at least).

Many people with mild ID aren't "obviously ID" to most people, and that includes speech. Others can often tell something is different, but in my experience it's often chalked up to autism, [insert a random developmental condition that person happens to know], or even poor hearing (some people might talk very loudly, which is what HoH/deaf people are often stereotyped as) since the average person seems to assume that a person with intellectual disability wouldn't be able to talk at all, or they don't even consider the possibility that a person with ID could exist near them (as opposed to being in an institution).

As for how people talk to him, that's a completely separate thing. You could have a situation where a mildly ID character knows someone and they have completely normal dialogue, but then the other character learns about the other's ID, and they suddenly turn to babytalk. Is this appropriate; no, the disabled character could clearly hold the conversation previously, is this realistic; absolutely.

However, yes, your character could need other people to alter how they speak to him, especially if his ID is more severe than just mild (and as always: it's not infantilization to have your needs met). Here you have some of the most common and realistic options of what happens (I'll use much simpler sentence examples than what would actually need to be simplified for the sake of clarity):

The bare minimum. This is what happens when someone is kinda trying, but not really. Maybe they don't have the patience, maybe they just didn't think about it too much. Either way, the disabled character doesn't get the full picture and is effectively left out of the conversation. E.g.: "Oh, yesterday Zainab and I went to the club and met up with her boyfriend and his annoying older brother, we wanted to grab some drinks there, but they were just so overpriced." = "I went out yesterday."

The "don't worry about it :)". Pretty much what it says. The other character decides that the disabled character doesn't actually need to hear that; they decide that it's irrelevant for them. E.g.: "Ever since her rent increased my mother has been doing nothing but worrying sick, and she won't even let me help her out." = "Don't worry about it."

The actual simplified version. The gold standard of simplifying something is actually making the person understand what you are talking about without leaving out information, or leaving out as little as possible. Depending on the actual text, it might not always be possible (you can only get so far in simplifying scientific subjects, for example), but in terms of regular conversation you can probably accurately simplify the vast majority of things being said. An example I like to use is English Wikipedia vs Simple English Wikipedia, some of the main features are shorter sentences, more commonly used words (when appropriate), and they use fewer pronouns in favor of repeating nouns. It's not perfect, but I think it illustrates what I mean by "simplification vs baby talk".

To figure out how his family speaks to him, you need to think about who they are as people and what's their relationship to him. An impatient person might just wave their hand and keep talking even if the character asks for clarification, while someone else might automatically switch how they speak when he enters the room to make him feel included. It's also a great way to show-don't-tell what the family dynamics are towards the disabled character.

Some of the posts about ID and language speech: 1, 2.

Hope this helps,

mod Sasza

[musashi]

Musing on Movie!Nessa's Future in Part 2

A lot of people simultaneously expressing confusion alongside their celebration of Nessarose finally being played by a wheelchair user, because her being able to walk in act 2 is obviously a huge plot point--the spell cast on the shoes is what turns them into the ruby slippers which establishes the continuity and leads to a bunch of other plot threads, etc etc.

This is obviously the reason a lot of people give for her being played by an able-bodied actress in the past, it's obviously a bullshit reason because a huge majority of wheelchair users are ambulatory and can walk and stand for varying periods of time just fine. So like. They could have still had an ambulatory wheelchair user playing her, but I digress: the point is she is played by Marissa Bode in the movie. A wheelchair user, hurray!

These are just the opinions of someone who is not a wheelchair user so take them with a grain of salt (and please speak up if you have your own stuff to say as a member of the community!) but from what I can see as someone who's been insane about Wicked for about 15 years now, the movie did a lot of good for Nessa's character. Previously, the ableism toward her was baked into the metanarrative itself, but it's now been moved to a more realistic place--the characters within the story.

Previously Nessa was treated with little agency or autonomy not only by the characters but by the people writing the story. Most notably of all, her chair is constantly being grabbed and wheeled around by other characters. The movie corrects this--she is very rarely wheeled around except by her father (and he is called out for his coddling/infantilizing of her by Elphaba within 2 minutes of their introduction) and the one time a stranger tries to do this in what reads even to me as a genuinely traumatizing and far too familiar scene for any wheelchair user to have to sit through, Elphaba immediately fucking goes apeshit and starts throwing fucking furniture. Nessa herself also tries to advocate for herself and tell the professor in question to stop kidnapping/assaulting her and is, again, realistically not listened to.

This last bit obviously happens in the stage musical too but Nessa's own agency is much less pronounced. The movie adds little things here and there to give her more of that agency--Elphaba's protectiveness is much less "I have to help and watch over my poor disabled sister" and much more "I have to make sure no one underestimates or takes advantage of her." Even the plot detail that Elphaba was not there to be her caretaker but just to drop her off and make sure she got settled in her dorm adds leaps and bounds to Nessa's autonomy. Her and Boq's shared look in the opening ceremonies where they both bond beforehand at their inability to see over the crowds' standing ovation. And of course, the dance scene, where he no longer wheels her out but instead beckons her to follow him!

These little details add up in ways that are, at least in my opinion, very meaningful. They also extend to the production itself--where the sets were made accessible for Marissa and she was even allowed to do her own stunts, in her wheelchair! That part in the beginning where Elphaba levitates her was her in a harness in her fucking chair and all. Dope as FUCK.

So I am mentioning all of this because I think the people working on this movie have shown that they are unafraid to make changes to Nessa to be more respectful to her agency. The ableism she faces, which is still plentiful, is framed as such instead of just casually brushed off & baked into the narrative. By making these small changes, Nessa is not just an unfortunate stereotype of a disabled woman, but a real and fleshed-out person who is dealing with the consequences of those exact stereotypes in the society she lives in. I really liked that! I don't know how others feel about it, but I thought it was very well-shifted.

All that said, 'curing' your disabled character is obviously, like, the biggest no-no of writing a disabled character. And that plot beat is a huge one in every version of Wicked... so far. But here's the thing. We have a shot of Dorothy wearing the slippers. And they... are silver.

Why. Are they silver.

And they are silver in all of Dorothy's small little cameos. Every single one. Even though this shot, which was used primarily for promotional material to draw people in like "Hey! Wizord of Oz! This is What The Refrance!" did not make the choice to even suggest that they should ever be red. One of the most important pieces of iconography, consciously and notably absent.

I genuinely don't think Nessa's going to have her disability taken away in part 2. With how much love to this part of her has been done to the retooling of her character, I do not think it is a stretch to assume that they will find a way to advance the plot without removing her disability. I believe this because that is the right thing to do for Nessa, to ascend her character, however you feel about it--she should stay in her chair. She deserves to continue on the way she is.

I realize this little change effects a lot. But after seeing part one, I am confident they can do it and do it well and replace what the change takes away with something just as good. I have so much faith in the direction of these movies. I really, truly believe it will happen and it will be good and satisfying and perfect.

It might still happen, sure--Marissa might get a stunt double, or CGI, or some other brand of movie magic. The shoes may still get enchanted and stay silver to pay homage to the original Oz books. But I can't help but consider that idea and keep asking myself... why. That makes so much less sense. Why not give movie audiences the red slippers, draw them in with the imagery, give them one more lion cub in the bike basket or Boq talking about how much he cries or poppies putting the whole class to sleep. Why not give us the ruby slippers when you... could.

I think because this is going to be a big, long awaited improvement. And I think it is hiding there in plain sight.