#pretty sure i got someone saying loki would be homophobic one time and something about supporting cops

[worstloki]

naaauuurr not steve jobs 😭💀

same energy as people claiming loki would be a political rightist

[lazarus-lazuli]

Loki and Sylvie aren’t endgame and here’s why:

(SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 4 OBVIOUSLY)

The TL;DR version: The director herself confirmed that their relationship is not going to be romantic. I could literally just leave it at that. Please calm down and stop clogging the tag with outraged posts about something that’s not even happening, thank you.

But I also want to argue that the episode itself makes it ABUNDANTLY CLEAR that they’re not gonna be a couple. Hit the read more to learn why I think that. Or don’t, honestly the fact the director confirmed this should be enough to assuage you, I’m just actively choosing to be annoying at this point.

If you pay attention to the text of the episode, it’s pretty clear that no, Loki and Sylvie aren’t getting together. Heteronormativity in media may have corrupted us enough to jump to that conclusion (because in most shows a man and woman interacting for five or more minutes in a meaningful way = romance), but I don’t think that was the writers’ intention. Hell, if anything, the episode makes a stronger argument for Mobius and Loki getting together which I’ll touch on a bit as well. And while I do ship them I don’t think they’ll be endgame either since Disney is incredibly fucking homophobic and we’re lucky we even got bi Loki; the Pacific Ocean will be a desert before we get to see him with another man. 

So a few ways the episode told us that Sylvie and Loki aren’t gonna get together:

1) Ravonna and Mobius have a VERY important conversation in her office, not just in the sense of Mobius realizing “Oh shit I’ve been lied to”, but in the sense that she talks about their relationship. She makes a point to define their relationship as a friendship several times, while also making it clear that they have a deep emotional connection to each other - one that transcends time and space. It’s a type of relationship that often gets skewed as romantic when we’re talking about tropes, but no, in their case it’s set in stone that their relationship is completely platonic. Character wise the whole thing gets thrown away since she was very much onto him and proceeds to stab him in the back minutes later, but writing wise it was a very important point they were trying to make to the audience. Like, it was important both in universe and for the audience but for different reasons, if that makes sense. Since they established this strong connection between Loki and Sylvie at the very beginning of the episode - strong enough to cause a fucking Nexus Event - they also wanted to sprinkle in the idea that a strong connection does not necessarily equal a romantic one.

2) The main thing people took away from the conversation between Loki and Mobius was that Mobius was jealous - which, yeah, that’s valid and I agree. I mean he was deadass acting like a scorned boyfriend who just caught his partner cheating on him. But another big takeaway that people need was not only did the show itself confirm that Sylvie x Loki is gross (I mean for God’s sake they’re the exact same person; Sylvie was literally confirmed to just be the AFAB version of him IN THE COLD OPENING), but the whole idea of them being together all came from Mobius. All we know is that Loki cares for her - the feelings he’s experiencing are confusing for him because he’s a loner who hasn’t had any friends at all until Mobius and her came along. The one who’s defining those feelings by insisting they must be romantic is Mobius. This is to get under Loki’s skin because he is jealous. Loki never once gives into the idea of their relationship being romantic, even when Mobius lies about Sylvie being pruned just to get a reaction. Loki may not know EXACTLY how he feels since it’s all new to him, but even he’s not obtuse enough to think that he’s actually falling in love with himself. Mobius is just angry at Loki in this scene for multiple reasons, thus all of the romantic interpretation falls on his shoulders. He’s literally just jumping to conclusions. 

Also when he says Sylvie got pruned Loki just gets visibly upset for a moment, but when Mobius himself gets pruned Loki CRIES and is fucked up about it to the point that even Sylvie picks up on it. So make of that what you will (I will make of that that Loki and Mobius are IN LOVE). 

3) Final point: people got REALLY IN THEIR FEELINGS about the scene where Loki tries to confess to Sylvie. And yeah at first glance, it is somewhat set up like a romantic scene - someone actually posted “what in the Y/N x Loki is this” and honestly I had to laugh at that one because I agree it kind of has that vibe, especially since he starts the whole thing off by saying he’s new to feeling the way he does. But based on everything we know about them and everything that happened up until that point of the episode, LOKI IS VERY MUCH NOT ABOUT TO CONFESS HIS UNDYING LOVE FOR HER. His feelings for sure, but not necessarily romantic ones. He even has his hands on her shoulders - a gesture of affection, but not one that can be read as exclusively romantic. He’s just grabbing her attention, holding her there (since she does seem freaked out - maybe in her mind she thinks he’s about to confess his love, which is actually pretty funny). While there may be a misunderstanding on the part of the characters, I think the text itself makes it pretty clear that no, Loki is not in love with this woman. He ultimately just wants to tell her he cares about her and wants to stick with her through whatever happens; that they’ll make it through together. If you’re cynical you can be like “It was at the very least set up to LOOK romantic to bait the audience” and yeah, I see it too. That’s completely possible. Granted, instead of baiting people with a “OOO, what’s he gonna say?!”, it more so rubbed salt in the wounds of the people who have been queerbaited by TV shows in the past because all they could see was “Bi Man Falls for His Female Self Then Dies” which is bad so I can’t blame them for being upset. But given the context of the show it’s also very much not what happened. 

And hey, I’m just as affected by queerbaiting - I was a Magician’s fan for fuck’s sake. I know queerbaiting when I see it and as far as I’m concerned, if there’s any queerbaiting in this show, it is NOT coming from the interpretation of Loki literally wanting to fuck himself. We will be donning our clown wigs and big red noses for a different reason (that reason involving Disney being Disney). If you’re choosing to be optimistic about the possibility of Loki and Mobius getting together, I fucking commend you and hope you’re right. It would be really amazing and satisfying if they did. I’m not holding my breath, though. Sadly just because Loki x Sylvie won’t be a thing doesn’t mean Loki x Mobius will be, either.

Anyway, I hope this explanation helped to clear up the fact that no, Marvel is not advocating for selfcest and never was. This isn’t Johnny Test. I think it’s good to be critical of Disney and Marvel because they’re both very flawed, but that requires actually watching the content instead of making surface level assumptions based on what you saw at first glance, you know?

[queer-crusader]

4, 5, 8, 12, 16, 22, 26, 31, 34 :3

4: Are there any writers that inspire you?

I am TERRIBLE with remembering fic writer's tbh! Real life writers that inspire me are Terry Pratchett and VE Schwab. In fanfiction, the first fic I ever read was by Goddamhella, who I believe has by now orphaned their works, but they still inspire me. The crack of Off The Record and the dynamic of the avengers (and of Tony and Loki) definitely still inspires me years later, and the atmosphere and slow character development of Winterheart does too. @bakedapplesauce inspires me with how they build up tension between characters, like a storm rolling in. I also love how they write this focus on little things that build up the image of a whole; someone's hands, their smell. It makes it feel like the character is observing the other in detail, and reminds me of close-up shots in films in a way that I prefer over those films xD I aspire to be able to build that same atmosphere and tension ❤️

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5: What's the fic you're most proud of?

OOH boy that's a tough one!! Umm, I really like how In The Deep was going? Even tho it's on hiatus right now. I feel like I was actually throwing my writing skills at that one, really trying hard to make it a proper piece of writing. (I'll get back to it I swear.)

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8: Which character(s) do you find easiest to write?

Funnily enough I think maybe Miranda? Even tho I've written very little of her so far! Flint goes pretty well too

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12: Tell us about a WIP you're excited about.

Oh probably my Miranda fic!! (I seem to be in a Miranda loving mood today lmao) I started writing a fic that delves into her life, which barely gets spoken of in Black Sails. I just want to give her a background, play with the story of how she became who she is today, make her more than a lover and a mother figure. More than the slightly more interesting version of your typical love interest, I want her to have her own story. So yeah that's a thing I'm slowly working on in the background 😅

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16: Any guilty pleasure tropes?

This question insinuates that I feel guilt about anything (I do lmao, so the answer is probably some smut trope that I won't be too public about 😂)

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22: Do you listen to anything while you write?

I have a pirate playlist full of bops that is my go-to thing to listen to right now!

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26: Is there anything you've wanted to write, but you've been too scared to try?

There's another WIP I've started for a fic that I was debating on making an original work! But that would mean writing a book about a lesbian romance at the Russian court during the time of the fall of the empire and the last czars. And as rad as that would be, I literally fear for my life to do that 😂😂 Russia will COME FOR ME I KNOW IT

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31: Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

I mean I literally have so many original fiction works in my brain so you'd have to be more specific if you wanna know anything about them 😅 in fanfics I think I've only written one OC called Gwen. She's in my The Expanse fic, Anwyn. She's a sex worker who trains other sex workers and teaches them to be safe and good enough at their job to easily build up a bit of money and give them a chance at escaping the life if they should wish so. She's a character from Amos' past (Amos is an actual character from the show), and she's just very boisterous and free. Writing her scared me a lot bc OCs usually aren't much-loved but she got a pretty good reception 😊

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34: Copy and paste an excerpt you're particularly fond of.

"Fellas," John says as he walks into the Walrus kitchen, "is it gag to spend almost every morning with a guy in domestic bliss as he gets ready for work while you get ready for bed?"

Ben drops a serving tray laden with dirty dishes, shattering several plated. His eyes are wide on John, though, unaware of the carnage around his feet.

"Wow, thanks for that, Ben," John winces. "Not quite the answer I was hoping for."

Billy is staring too, while Max is about to piss herself with laughter. John narrows his eyes at them all.

"I've missed something, haven't I."

DeGroot walks in then, checking on the source of the crash. John turns to him with a radiant smile.

"Ah, Mr DeGroot, surely you know the answer to this," he says. "Spending near every morning with a guy in domestic bliss, gay or nay?"

DeGroot stares at him. He looks at Ben, who looks white, then at the shards at his feet, then back at John.

He turns around and exists the kitchen again without a word.

"Okay, seriously, don't tell me you're all homophobic," John complains. "What's going on?"

"Please," Ben begs him, his voice shaky, "please tell me you're not fucking Randall."

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Ask me more of these!

[domxmarvel]

Unforeseen

Masterlist

Requested by:@you-just-yeed-your-last-haw

Pairing: Lady Loki x Reader  

Words: 1105

Request: No rush or anything, you literally just wrote one for me, but maybe could you do a Lady Loki x fem reader? Prompt: Loki has the biggest crush (she's never fallen for a mortal before) on Y/n, but doesn't say or do anything because she is aware of how homophobic Midgardians can be (she thinks Y/n is straight), not to mention the whole New York thing she did. Y/n likes Loki as well, and goes to Thor for help, but Loki thinks Y/n has a crush on Thor because of all the alone time they spend together.

“No,no way”You heard Tony say

“Tony”Cap said as you walked in

“No don’t worry i’ll find a way”Thor said but Cap stood up and took Tony into a different room.

“What’s wrong?”You asked walking up to Thor,He sighed

“It’s Loki,she’s been causing some trouble”You were tempted to ask more but didn’t.Tony and Steve walked back in

“Fine,she can stay here but keep an eye on her i don’t want another disaster”He agreed and you froze

“Wait she’s coming here?”

It’s been a couple days and everything was fine.Loki would hardly leave her room because she knew how everyone would change when she was around.Some part of you hurt for her but you didn’t know how to talk to her.You had to admit she wasn’t that bad and you felt as if the attack on New york wasn’t her as if somebody else was behind it. 

One day you woke up to the sound of your alarm.As you reached to stop it you felt something soft.Rubbing your eyes you sat up,looking at your phone you saw a rose on top of it.You spent the rest of the day spacing out trying to figure out who left it and if anyone was acting strange.But you couldn't figure out who and the next morning there was another rose.The fourth day and the fourth rose but this one had a note that read

‘Love is like a child, That longs for everything it can come by’ You were confused by it but decide to get up to get ready.The note never left your mind for hours and you finally grabbed your phone and looked it up.The answer to the quote also gave you a good idea of who was leaving the roses.It was a Shakespeare quote which only left a few possibilities that it was either someone how knew how to use a computer or someone who likes books.In other words it couldn’t be Thor or Steve since both of them could barely hold a phone let alone quote Shakespeare.It couldn't be Tony either since he was already in love with Pepper.That only left that you could think of was Loki since you knew Nat had a thing for Banner.

Another day another rose and another quote

‘I love you more than words can wield the matter, Dearer than eyesight, space and liberty’ You needed to get to the bottom of this.You found her talking to Thor and you walked in

“Sorry to bother you”You stopped next to Thor “Could i borrow your brother for a moment?”You asked

“Sure,you can keep him away from me for as long as you want”She said.You walked out with Thor 

“What’s wrong?”

“Do you think Loki likes me?”

“What?”

“Someone’s been leaving me roses every night.But now they’re also leaving notes and the only one i can think of is Loki”

“That’s a possibility,Asgard isn’t like midgard it’s more accepting of everyone”

“In other words they’re not homophobic”

“Exactly.I think she likes you but is to scared and she doesn’t know if you like women”He explained and you thought about it for a moment “Wait do you like Loki?”Your face turned red at his question    

“I don’t know,it’s very confusing.I mean she’s really pretty and she obviously likes me”

“Well what are you gonna do?”He asked,you thought about it for a moment trying to come up with a plan. 

“I’m gonna need your help”

For the last three days Thor had helped you plan what to do.And today was the day,you were excited to see today’s quote but there was nothing on your nightstand.Not even a rose which made you worry.The first chance you got you told Thor and he was surprised to why Loki would suddenly stop.

“Y/N,i’m not sure why but i’ll figure it out”He said,he was about to walk away but you stopped him

“Don’t i’ll talk to her”

“What about the plan?”He asked,you sighed in response

“The plan is not important right now”You quickly walked away

Looking around you soon found her in the library.She was reading a book laying down as usual,you walked in and she looked at you.

“Can we talk?”You asked,pulling up a chair and sitting down in front of her

“Sure”She moved to sit up   

“Have you been leaving me roses?”You finally asked.She avoided your eyes for a while but then just sighs

“Yes that was me.I know how midgardians can be and i didn’t know if you were”She stopped looking down at the floor

“Why’d you stop?”You asked making her look up at you

“What?”

“What stopped you?”You asked again

“Well you were spending a lot of time with my brother.So i thought you liked him or were trying get me to stop so i did”She avoided your eyes again

“Loki i don’t like him like that because i already like someone”She was about to look at you but stopped.You putt your hand under her chin making her look at you “And that someone is you”Her eyes lit up but then she asked

“Then why where you spending that much time with Thor”Moving your hand away you looked at her

“It’s because i had this plan and i was going to tell you.But i got scared since i didn’t find a rose this morning”You explained 

“I’m sorry i ruined your plan”She said

“Well the course of true love did never run smooth”You said confidently.She looked up in shock before smiling 

“Did you just”You both stood up

“Translation i love you”You chuckled and so did she

“I love you too”You leaned in

“Y/N Y/N”You heard Thor call your name making you pull away before your lips could touch.He walked in only to freeze in place before saying “I think someone’s calling me”He quickly ran out.The moment you turned around Loki kissed you,your hand sliding down her back stopping at her waist.Pulling her closer you deepened the kiss,her hands moved up to your shoulders.You broke the kiss gasping for air,she laughed

“Hey what’s so funny”You teased and moved to kiss her neck making her laugh even more.She pushed you away lightly giving you a another kiss  

[saralaurensmagalona]

Stepbrothers, a Thorki fanfic by Magalona

I'm back people ! Lots of work IRL but things are better now and I'm back to what I like ! Enjoy ! Warning : a hard scene at the end...

      Not to talk, not to look, not to hear... Loki had turned into the three little monkeys of the legend. The same ones sculpted in jade his father possessed  in his priceless collection of Asian art. Not to talk about this wedding, not to look at the preparations, not to hear the hellish nonsense going on around him. Not to say anything. Not to do anything. For, actually, what could he say ? What could he possibly do ?

A situation that was already unbearable was now becoming living hell. The two impostors were now in his house, his MOTHER's house, 24/7. Not that it was a material bother, said house being big enough for eight people, but Loki had to endure their sight, their voice, their stupid selfish happiness on a constant basis. As a result, he had a constant migraine. In fact, at first, no one noticed his growing dissociation, his silences, his secret moodiness. Of course, Loki had become a master in dissimulation. But more than that, the two lovebirds were engrossed in wedding planning, costly flower arrangements, lavish menus, even ridiculous embroidered napkins for an equally ridiculously royally set table. Loki simply wanted to puke each time they were shamelessly smooching each other like horny teenagers. It was even worse when they did it also in front of Thor who gave them an embarrassed but complicit smile that was simply even worse than the smooching session. But the worst of the worst was when Thor turned that same stupid smile to Loki who adverted his eyes most of the times. It made said smile freeze on Thor's lips. Thor was the only one to know Loki's opinion, or at least to care about it. It gave Loki's a sadistic pleasure to see Thor's hopes being constantly crushed by Loki's discreet but cold attitude. Loki simply ignored Thor's sad look each time this little scene occurred. But it was a ridiculously short release compared to the long term issue... Loki could not live under his father's roof anymore. Loki could not bear the idea of having that silly woman taking his mother's place.

Deep inside, he did not actually dislike Fran Odinson. He knew she was a kind, loving woman. But all that kindness and loveliness did not help the fact that she was slowly but surely taking Francesca Laufeyson's rightful place. And the fact that even their names sounded very similar was unbearable to Loki. When his father called her abruptly in a sing-song voice around the house, it made Loki's skin crawl for he was confused about who his father was demanding in such a loving tone. And each time, his memories got messed up and he could almost smell his mother's deep perfume in the air. And each time it broke his heart. Again, what could he do about it ?

Except for the invasion, life went on as it pretty much did. Loki woke up, had breakfast (with Thor most of the time), went to school (and Thor tagged along, of course), spent his day doing the usual courses and work (and tried as much as possible to avoid Thor and his crowd). If he had no good reason to hide at the library, he went home (sometimes he had excuses to text Thor not to wait for him but he could not use them all the time). Evenings were harder because he had no privacy now. He was supposed to go downstairs, be part of this mockery of a family, smile and be polite to avoid his father's wrath, eat at the table, answer questions, participate in the conversation...

And especially, he was avoiding thinking about his father's guns in his special closet...

He was proud of himself for keeping up the facade. It had been months since the proposal and the installation of the two impostors and he had managed to remain discreet. At least, that said a lot about himself. Yet, it didn't solve his problem. What was he supposed to do ? After long and hard thinking the answer for now was nothing. Say nothing, hear nothing, see nothing, do not make any ripple, do not create issues or conflict... Do not antagonize your father, do not raise the suspicions of Thor and his mother...

Wait till you're out of this hell.

He needed to wait till the end of the year. There he would work in an over-seas charity association or business and then enter college. He wouldn't be around this house so much and he would be too busy making a living on his own to play happy families with those people. He was done with his father. Larry had overstepped the boundaries of what was morally tolerable. Courting another woman barely a year after his supposedly beloved wife's death ? Proposing to another while she was still fresh in her grave ? Having this blond airhead and her blond oaf of a son sniffing all over the house like disgusting pets ready to pee on everything Francesca Laufeyson held dear to mark their territory... Bearing their prying and questioning, trying to “bound”, to “share” (Loki wanted to vomit each time he heard those words) with him, intruding on his privacy, on what was left of his mother and his true family... And Larry approved this horror. He even reproached Loki for being so “cold”, so “distant” while Fran and Thor were being “so kind.”

Loki did hope for everyone that his father's guns were so perfectly locked that he would never get a hold on them.

***

In all his musings, there was one thing he couldn't understand. The reason why his father had been so quick in welcoming those two burdens in their life. He understood the need not to be a widower anymore for a man largely in the prime of his life and yet, his despair at Francesca's death had been so brutal and absolute that his raising of the ashes of his dead love was equally baffling. It was as if he was overdoing it. At Fran's beck and call, ready to do all her bidding, fatherly and friendly to her son (whom he barely knew) and, of course, angry at Loki for not doing more effort to participate in this farce. There was something amiss in all his insistence. He knew his father. One tedious evening, he got the answer by accident. It happened that Loki had won the top place in an important math course (though it wasn't his forte, being usually second best) the same day Thor won several crucial matches or something, securing for a very long time his title of super-quarterback or something. Not that Loki cared but he was secretly happy that this homophobic scumbag bully Josh Randall had all his hopes of a scholarship and scouting crushed to the ground for good. Loki remembered Randall harassing some of the younger students, slamming them against the lockers only because the victims looked effeminate (according to him) and moreover because they were frailer than he was and that he could do anything he wanted and escape Scott-free, anyway. According to Loki, he deserved it. But the top grades in math had made Loki happy and mostly because it was an issue with his father, his lack of scientific spirit, he couldn't wait until he told him. Maybe it would fortify some bridges that were in peril of being seriously impaired. Except that Thor had arrived earlier and told Larry and Fran his good news first. Larry brought out the champagne and filled the crystal flutes. Those Loki had not seen in a very long time... His father was red-faced and buoyant. “There you are !” Said Larry spotting Loki in the entrance and holding a half empty flute of champagne. “ Just in time for the whole family to celebrate ! Your brother just won the last series !” And while he was laughing and chatting he paid no attention to Thor and Fran's weird confused faces. Faces Loki was too shocked to notice on his own. Your brother. He had called Thor his brother... Loki found himself lacking air. Now, he knew the reason behind this craziness.

What Larry really wanted was not only not be a widower any more. What he really wanted was a new family. A new wife to replace the ever-present ghost. A new son to replace the failing copy of said ghost. He wanted two replacements to finally feel whole. And the originals were no longer useful for him. The memory of a dead wife and the awkward presence of a resenting son too different from him and too much like her… The ghost. Loki did not make any sound or move. He had to digest this disaster, to hide his shock to avoid unwanted attention and to appear pleased to earn some time to start a plan. Mainly how to get out of here for good. And never to see any of them again. Luckily, after a little uneasiness at Larry's words, they kept on celebrating the hero boy and  forgot a bit about his less fortunate counterpart, turned into low-key sidekick. Loki swore himself he would not be degraded into comic relief…

***

As soon as he knew that his purpose was to get accepted in his dream college and to get out of this craziness for sure, Loki was more serene if he wasn't happy in any way… On his side, Thor seemed restless as the days went by and the wedding was coming closer. It was obvious something was on his mind and that he was permanently trying to talk to Loki. But said Loki was not going to help him. He carefully avoided the boy in a subtle way. He was always busy, always dodging. Yet, having Thor under his roof on a constant basis made Loki knew more about him, liked it or not. He was a kind, caring individual, actually trying to get into Loki's good graces. Even a bit discreet which was surprisingly mature and exceptional for someone who got such popularity at school. Speaking about school, that was another part of the problem. Loki discovered himself at the focus of unwanted attention. Word went by that they were stepbrothers-to-be and living under the same roof at the very least. Loki then unwillingly became the next best thing after Thor… Since he was a supposed stepladder to the school football hero. Being friends with Loki, they all presumed, was a way to get closer to Thor. Loki was suddenly surrounded by a pack of greedy, ass-licking jerks, both male and female, and all smelled of desperation and hypocrisy. Loki was invited everywhere, became everybody's friend at a such a speed that it made his head dizzy and only added to his growing dismay. Of course, they were all rejected, sometimes in a rather undiplomatic way. Yet, one of the cheerleader pack, another dolled-up, empty-minded wannabe actress/model, was after Loki (or rather after Thor by proxy…) and meant business. She started an almost aggressive campaign of finesse-lacking flirting. Now Loki had to avoid her in the same time he avoided Thor. Until the day she cornered him near the library and tried to kiss him. Loki had never had any physical interaction with someone that wasn't close to him sentimentally. The attack was so sudden he pushed her out of surprise and she landed on the ground. That wasn't a smart move but this was the last straw. Loki was out of his wits with that girl and her attitude. “What the fuck is wrong with you ?! She screamed, sincerely shocked from his rejection.             - Indeed !” He shouted back. “What the fuck is wrong with ME is that I am not a big fan of being sexually harassed ! Especially by people like YOU !              Loki wasn't that direct usually but, again, he was out of patience. The girl broke in tears that Loki thought it at first to be another trick. He knew Trish Feldman and her crew. All of them were the “mean popular girl” cliché. Up to the dark streaks of mascara running down her cheek. She heaved a huge exhausted sigh that surprised Loki. She DID look burned out after all...             - Look, I didn't want to embarrass you...” She said. “But you don't know anything about me...             - I know enough to tell you that trying to get into my pants won't help you getting into Thor's !            He was becoming aggressive because Trish was starting to act like she needed to talk. And he was in no mood to be a counselor or something.             - Har, har, smart boy !” She replied. “You don't understand. You've never been in love, I mean, REALLY in love, with anyone, am I right ?              Loki was startled by the retort. Indeed, he had never been in love. When would he have found the time ? Before his mother's death, he was happy and content with an already fulfilled life and thought only about the future. And after her death, well... He was billion years from that kind of things. So no, he had practically no experience in that field, never ever been interested in anyone, and didn't know what to answer to the crying girl.               - Right.” She went on, her head down, her voice dropping low. “You don't know what it is to be miserable all the time and pretend to be happy around everyone, everyday. You don't know what it is... to see him everywhere and even in your sleep... And to be nothing to him.”          Trish was wrong about the first part. Loki also had to pretend, although for different reasons. Yet, he was mellowing a bit. He had never seen any of the hated golden circle like that, seriously miserable, seriously distraught and absolutely sincere.              - So, okay. I was being a bitch but you have absolutely no idea of what it is to be…              - ...Part of the popular gang ?” Loki couldn't help but sneer at the spoiled girl's misery. “Well, I have noticed how terrible your lot must feel when you harass the less pretty, less popular girls. All the ‘nerds’” He did the finger gesture to emphasize the word. “ Not to mention the guys…             Trish lowered  her head. She did not look her usual prideful self.             - Okay, I get it. You’re not going to be fooled so let’s stay at that, alright ?            Hearing the girl's resigned tone of voice, Loki nodded, a little ashamed of having deepened her obvious wounds.             - Look,” He said. “If it's any consolation, your little plan wouldn't have worked, believe me...” He paused, realizing for the first time that he had known it for long. “ Thor's mom is going to marry my dad and he is overprotective of her. Right here, right now, nothing matters more to him than her.”              Trish smiled, looking a bit relieved. Loki had guessed right. The girl could swallow a lot more the fact that Thor's mother was his priority. They parted on friendly terms and Loki actually felt a little better. He had the feeling that he had actually helped someone, even though in a small way, even someone who used to be a bully... He felt a little lighter than he had been in a long time.

Until a fist grabbed him violently from behind and slammed him on the wall.

The shock made him see stars first. Then, he saw who was holding him by the arms so tight he could scream with pain. “ Having fun ?” growled the voice that used to be always gentle to him. First, he didn't recognized the crazy bear in front of him. The blue eyes that were always shining and kind were now almost red with rage. The blond, silky hair were now an angry mane. That same mouth that was always praying Loki for more kindness towards everyone was now a snarl, a grimace of pure fury, displaying white pointy teeth like a fighting bull. Thor, it was Thor but a Thor Loki had never seen, never suspected he existed. A Thor that looked ready to kill him.           - Answer me !!” Thor yelled. “ What are you doing with that bitch ?!”          Loki's brain was moving like a crazy clock. What ? What ? Whaaaaat ? The HELL ? What was he talking about ? What was wrong with him ?! It was difficult to hear what Thor was saying (screaming more like it) not to mention the fact that his forearms were really starting to burn. Thor shook him again and made hit the wall a second time. Loki was frozen with shock. This was madness.           - So, I am not even worthy to talk to but you're all lovey-dovey with a WHORE ?! The fuck is wrong with you ?           -I... I....             Part of Loki wanted to punch Thor in his lower parts for talking like that but the other part was incapable of moving, of saying anything, terrified like a trapped rabbit surrounded bdogs.            -  What can SHE do better than ME ? What does SHE have that I DON'T ?!            He was now throwing his yelling face into Loki's, his body crushing Loki's, making it almost impossible to breather, to move, to think... Loki was now feeling like he was five again, surrounded by the bullies that didn't know yet who his father was, on his first day at school.             - TELL ME !! What am I supposed to do to make you NOTICE me ?!            Thor was now totally glued to Loki's body like a furnace and his ragged breath was burning Loki's neck. Loki was feeling faint and weak in the legs. Thor could have killed him right away and Loki could not make the faintest move to protect himself. Please...            Even Loki's voice was no more than a whisper. Brutally, Thor's right hand left Loki's arm to grab his wrist and not in a more gentle way. Loki gasped, now in real terror and confusion. Look, for god's sake ! Do you want more PROOF ?!            And Thor slammed Loki's hand on his crotch. It was like feeling a rock.            Loki snapped.             - Stop ! STOP IT ! YOU'RE HURTING ME !!             And as brutally as it has started, it stopped.             Loki fell on the ground, shaking. Thor, still standing took a step backward. Loki slowly raised his head, fearing another blow, needing to see if that insane creature was indeed his stepbrother-to-be.             It was another Thor, one whose mouth and eyes were ridiculously opened in horror. A totally distraught little abuser. Another change of personality that Loki was incapable to understand in the state he was in.             - I... I am sorry.. I...” He blabbered.            “Not as sorry as you're going to be...” would have been an answer worthy of Loki's usual eloquence but now his mind was empty, unable to form a coherent thought.              - I won't... I swear I... “ He stammered again, walking backward again “I am sorry !”

            And Thor, Mr. N°One, the Mighty Thor, ran pitiously away from his victim.             Loki was left, crouching against the wall, eyes dry but shaking like a leaf and his body burning.

[christinaroseandrews]

Part 4

If you want to know what you missed in You Don’t Know Me, you can read Parts One, Two, and Three. Or you can just jump into the deep end and go from here. I should have said spoiler alert, but at this point who cares. However there are Trigger Alerts of Dubious Consent, Alcohol Abuse, Sexual Harassment, and a crap ton of sexist and homophobic microaggressions. Suffice it to say this is NSFW.

This is the last summary bit, I promise. I mean we only have a quarter of the book to go and the shit just hit the fan in a big way. Normally I would say that the last quarter is spent fixing the problems revealed on the way to the happy ending. But in You Don’t Know Me’s case, I would be completely wrong.

Let’s dive in, shall we?

With Alec, Rue, and Jenna all finding their own way back to the U.S. after their adventures in Ibiza, we’re left with Repentant Asshole Jack and Magically Reappearing Sean to follow around.

Sean once again proves he is too good for this world. By calling out Jack and how he’s been behaving.

Unfortunately this is literally all of the discussion that we get because the plane runs into turbulence. It turns out the turbulence is being caused by a large group of thunderstorms in the Caribbean (which most air traffic controllers try to steer around unless there is a more pressing reason not to) and everything goes to hell. Literally.

Since this is a storm, that means the water is going to be choppy which seriously impacts the ability of the pilot to land safely (my uncle pilots small craft and my cousin is a business jet pilot). Not to mention it feels like the only reason that Hopkins threw this in there was so that Jack would get a “get out of jail free” card and not have to be accountable for his actions and what he did to Rue.

The plane starts to go down and we get this.

Who here remembers the safety demonstration at the beginning of each plane flight? One of the things they stress is to not inflate the vest until you’re outside of the plane.

There’s a reason for that. It has to do with the laws of physics.  Namely, that most people aren’t strong enough swimmers to be able to dive underwater while wearing a life vest and people get trapped in the sinking plane because they are floating not walking. I even saw a TV show on this that referenced Ethiopian Airlines Flight 961 and the memories of survivors who heard the life vests inflate and then saw people dying because they couldn’t get out.

Mean water.

So now that Jack and Sean are likely dead. Let’s check in with our favorite musician who we’ve yet to see do anything that warrants his celebrity, Alec.

He arrives at LAX and is immediately greeted by people exclaiming that “Yay! You’re not dead but your friends are!”

Which leaves him going “Huh?”

He dashes off to a bar and gets the news.

Alec then takes a page from the Tommy Wiseau school of acting and falls apart.

And there you have the problem. This grief feels overacted. Forced. Like Faleena has never actually lost someone she cared about and is going through the motions of grief.

We flip to Rue who has heard the news and decided that the best thing to do is to go to Jack and Sean’s house and try to comfort their grieving mother. Remember, this is the same woman whose husband cheated on her and Rue is a living reminder of that infidelity and betrayal. But sure, let’s go comfort Mrs. Stone.  That’s a great idea.

Rue goes on and on in her head about how much she loves her brothers. Despite only knowing them a week. And one of the brothers has done his level best to break her and succeeded.  Then we get this.

My parents went from Met to Engaged in literally 3 weeks. So I know it’s possible. But Rue hasn’t had the same kind of “get to know you” experiences. She’s had parties, and more parties, and that’s about it. The real problem is that the author didn’t show the bonding between any of her characters. Instead, she meandered from external plot device to external plot device without any character development. The number of times I can count Alec and Rue actually talking is non-existant. They don’t talk. They lust after each other.

Right now I am firmly on the mother’s side.

Alec shows up about a minute later and lets himself and Rue in.

When he appears, the mother reappears - drugged out - and apologizes to Rue.

We then get some of the backstory of Rue’s father and mother.

Apparently the mother left and despite telling Rue’s dad that she never wanted to see him, he still loved her. He even wrote a note to his wife telling her that he never loved her and that Rue’s mom was his soulmate. The man is a piece of work.

Not to mention, I have concerns about just how much Rue’s mom wanted the affair and how much was coercion.  Because let’s be honest, it’s a power imbalance.

After this, we travel back in time to see what happened when the plane crashed. At this point, I am firmly convinced that Jack and Sean died despite what the author claims, and this is just a huge fantasy spun by Rue as part of the bargaining phase of grief. I mean, it makes as much sense as anything else.

The plane lands and Jack and Sean and the pilots manage to get out despite the rising water.

Once out of the plane they have to swim against the waves to get to the raft with an injured co-pilot.

At this point, I’m just chanting “Nope” so much that my dogs got concerned about my sanity and started bringing me toys in the effort to break me out of my fugue-state.

I have good dogs.

Of course Jack and Sean survive to reach the raft...

How do I know they’re near Cuba? It becomes a plot point later. But you want to know what else is near Cuba? The Gulf Stream.

Look at those water temps... Hmmm It’s almost like it’s warm in the Caribbean or something.

This water is definitely warmer than ANYTHING along the California coast. (LA average water temps in November are in the low 60s. The Florida Keys average water temperatures are in the upper 70s to low 80s during the same time.)

Sorry, my Earth Science degree is screaming. I’ll stop.

While they’re drifting they have a heart to heart and Sean reveals he’s gay.

Seriously, Jack is one of the most horrible people I’ve ever encountered that was supposed to be a redeemable character. There have been villains - Loki, Vegeta, Draco Malfoy, Darth Vader, Spike - who have had better redemption arcs and been better people than Jack.

Then this happens.

I actually went back and counted, from the time traveling reboot it literally was 8 pages from the start of that chapter with the actual plane crash and them being rescued. They were in the water for only a few hours or at least that’s what it feels like. The author is not good with time.

We return to Rue and Alec in California and get this...

Yep, the President calls to tell them Jack and Sean are safe.

There’s some very painful dialogue and then Mrs. Stone wanders off.

And one of Faleena Hopkins’ issues rears its head...

From here on, I imagined the entire scene was being listened to by Obama. It wasn’t pretty.

We start in on a “I am so happy my best friends are alive I must sex you up!” which I will spare you. Then Alec and Rue have a heart to heart and they decide that they can only be friends. Because she loves her brothers and she wants to make it work with them. I can get loving Sean. Sean is awesome. Jack can go rot. Have I mentioned I hate Jack?

Next we have a party to celebrate the return of Jack and Sean and my love of Sean wanes while my hatred of Jack and Alec rises. Jack because he’s a horrible human being. Alec because he spends his time moping about how wants Rue but can’t have her.

Sean wanders away and spends the next few minutes telling everyone he talks to that he‘s gay. Which I wouldn’t have a an issue with if this wasn’t billed as a straight romance. Sean rejoins the group and we get the following “Jack is terrible” things. 

Jack stops with his harassment of Jenna and has a talk with Rue. Revealing that he too tried to commit suicide.

You know. I hear counseling is a thing. Maybe you all should look into that.

Anyway after that, he gives permission for Alec to date Rue.

Because men giving permission for people to date their female relatives is so 2015... or 1915... or 1815. One of those. This is also sexist. I know there’s a bro code, but frankly Jack has been such an ass and literally he’s known Rue for like a week, I’m skeptical.

Alec is relieved and runs off to find Rue. But she’s trying to stick to her vow of only friends.

So when she tells him no twice, he does this.

This is what Faleena Hopkins considers sexy: abuse. Naturally Rue is turned on and they run off to have sex.

Horribly horribly written sex.

Thankfully the scene is short. And by I short I mean WTF short.

The chapter ends with Alec and Rue making a promise to try to make things work. And if the story had ended there, it could kind of squeak into romance. But it doesn’t.

Instead the story ends with Rue, Jack, and Sean going on a talk show and talking about their life.

And here’s the final line.

Yep...

Honestly, Sean’s story arc was the most developed and compelling. But when a secondary character’s plot takes over the core plot of your romantic leads, there is something wrong.

Unfortunately, I am literally running out of room so I’ll sum up in another post where I talk about the most salient problems.

If you’re enjoying these reviews, you can buy us a kofi.

[frostbite883-archive]

Well, either of your ideas that you had written was already written before (albeit differently) by someone else a while back basically (out of the fact that I made questions similar to the ones I gave you which resulted in tumblr bloggers giving me different answers to them). 

gingerly-writing: to this ask I filled out for them. I’m pretty fucking pissed off, and I’ve had my fury checked out by uninvolved parties to make sure it was righteous. It’s righteous.

Me: Not entirely so.

gingerly-writing: First off, feel free not to send people rude-ass messages after they’ve put time and effort into coming up with a response to you? 

Me: The top comment there (the “Well, either of your ideas” comment) wasn’t really the rude comment I typed out. The other one was (which I’m sorry for) which you didn’t copy paste in your third post so other bloggers can see it as that public evidence is vital for context.

gingerly-writing: Also, I thought you were going to use my idea and have me to thank you or something for it when I came up with something like my asks I gave you and something to the equivalent of your “heroes and villains school” stuff before I replied to your ask box sometime ago. Basically, wanting me to give you undeserved credit for my very own idea. I certainly didn’t know you were going to make comments like this either.

So, I actually have a hero and villain school in my own original superhero works, and I did come up with a solution to this one. If you’re writing your own original stuff, please change this up, but if you’re writing fic I don’t mind if you nick it wholesale (as long as you tag me in it! I’d love to read it).

Y’know, for me, this was just background information, but now I kind of want to write a whole book focusing on it.

gingerly-writing: It took me a good 45 minutes to get tumblr to accept my answer to your damn ask, so you’ve just made that a waste of my time.

Me: Maybe. But, from below, you were not bettering the situation.

gingerly-writing: Also, feel free to simply not respond rudely to people’s posts, at all, ever, especially if you were the one who sent the ask in the first place. I didn’t need to know how shit my ideas are, thanks.

Me: Yeah...not really sure where you’re going with this. Are you saying your ideas were horrible because they were based on my idea and how I spread more around on tumblr? Or do you think I’m saying your ideas were horrible because you think I’m somehow saying, implying or thinking that? 

Either why, that comment of yours was not helpful for anyone. Yourself included.

gingerly-writing: Also, as a more general PSA, feel free not to send identical asks to multiple bloggers. 

Me: Not happening. As I can sent any ask at any time by my own free will. As is my right.

gingerly-writing: Seeing someone else answer the same ask really disincentivizes me to answer it, even if it’s in my queue: I worry about stepping on the other responder’s feet, 

Me: Well, to be fair, I can understand the sentiment there. Still, what you say next will lower that sentiment.

and also, it’s motherfuckin rude, you absolute assclown. 

Me: Childish name calling. So...how is it you’re any better with what you had said. What would you benefit from doing that other then venting out your anger. ...Which ironically enough I didn’t even do here and wouldn’t now just so I won’t sink to your level of rudeness. 

gingerly-writing: And if you do send multiple asks and get similar responses, maybe it’s simply because it’s a good fucking idea. If you get different answers, maybe it’s because we’re all different fucking people with awesome different ideas that I’m not sure you deserve.

Me: You know what, I’ll be upfront, and say that I should have not jumped the gun and assumed the worse and could’ve worded my comments better (or just replied privately about the whole matter), you, on the other hand, didn’t do much of anything to resolve the situation as best as you should’ve. In the end, you basically became me. But a little worse.

gingerly-writing

: feel free to block me on the way out

Me: Already did. I’m hoping you don’t treat other bloggers the way you had treated me. Especially if they were nicely bringing up stuff to your attention among other things. And especially, even, in the ‘ginning once they asked you something.

gingerly-writing: #I try to be nice on this site #but I have my limits #and now I'm in rage mode #the asks and the answers #rude #ungrateful

Me: As if you were better with your own fair share of rudeness that might be on the level of hackedmotionsensors’. 

hackedmotionsensors: THIS PERSON IS SO WEIRD!! All they ever do is send these bizarre questions about the DCEU being in MCU!

Me:  Actually, that's not ALL I do. I asked other questions too. And my qs aren't as weird as any one else's either, hacked. Best to not go by assumptions and call people weird for what they say or do. Be it in front of their faces or behind their backs. Also, don't like me or my qs? Then either block me or just blacklist my name.

See ya...never, I guess.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here’s some context on what I was talking about on this post:

TumblrFrostbite: How would you want schools for villains' kids (for Marvel villains' kids, for DC villains' kids, etc) to be ran? And who would you want to run those schools?

gingerly-writing: This is one of those things that I’ve put way too much thought into after you sent this, because I love stuff like this. The question is, are the villains running this school for their kids, or is this something the heroes are putting on to try and rehabilitate the kids while their parents are in prison? I’ll assume the former, but the latter is also super interesting to me.

Disclaimer: this will have a strong DC bent because I have little to no interest in most Marvel villains, whereas I could yack on about DC villains for month. In fact, I might just stick to DC in its entirety because other than Loki (who would be the worst teacher ever, he would encourage so much shenanigans) most of the Marvel villains I know are Nazis or space monsters. Second disclaimer: I’ve watched a lot more animated DC movies and read a lot more fic than I ever have comics, soooooo these depictions might not be comic book accurate. Fanboys, please don’t come for me…but I also don’t really care that much tbh. I like the incarnations that I like. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Actual answer under the cut because this got hella long. Hope you like it!

Sponsor: Lex Luthor. Funds the school, shows up to speech day to give speeches and hand out prizes, gives the brightest and most stable kids scholarships to work at Lex Corp in the holidays. Absolutely 100% has his own ends, no one knows what they are. Chucks buckets of money at every problem. Likes to bring the school up at fancy soirees in front of Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen just to piss them off.

Headmaster: Deathstroke (or rather, Slade from Teen Titans). Has no idea how he wound up with this job, complains about the pay 24/7 even though it’s in the range of millions of dollars a term paid in untraceable cash from 50 different countries. Basically ends up like Gordon Ramsey: threatens to assassinate the teachers and parents all the time, has actually taken out some abusive parents, but is weirdly, gruffly nice to the younger kids. Teachers self-defence to all the non-powered kids and weapons to anyone who’s interested and has the discipline for it. Grudgingly tolerates old man jokes.

Deputy Headmistress: Talia al Ghul. Absolutely terrifies all the older kids, mothers the younger ones. In charge of who graduates and who doesn’t; will only let kids graduate if their villainy won’t critically endanger their own life. Sometimes shows up in the backs of random classes and lurks there for ‘assessments’; shows up in more than 50% of Deathstroke’s classes to harass him about his technique. Keeps a photo of Damien on her desk, refuses to acknowledge it’s there if someone asks about it.

Biology: Poison Ivy. Excellent teacher, surprises both herself and her students at how brilliant she is. Everyone wants to take biology with her even if they have no villainous interest in the subject. Litters her lectures with feminist rants, eco-warrior tirades and talks about LGBT+ rights, will gently but forcefully correct anyone who disagrees with her. Runs a vegetable outside the school and encourages the kids to get closer to nature. Just enough passing knowledge of memes to make her older students roll about with laughter: ‘Batman’s homophobic because he inconveniences me and I’m gay’. PDAs with her girlfriend in the corridors.

Women and gender studies: Harley Quinn Ivy’s girlfriend, part time teacher. Wanted to take up the psychology post, but after she seriously suggested sharing it with Jonathan Crane (Scarecrow) no one wanted to let her anywhere near it. Knows every meme. Gives great relationship advice, will kill anyone’s abusive boyfriend with no questions asked. Brings her hyenas to school in a ridiculously massive handbag. Has her own locker.

Thievery, sneaking around, Gotham safety: Catwoman. Definitely brings in her cats to act as therapy/comfort animals for the kids. Unofficial therapist; absolutely mothers anyone from Gotham, no exceptions. Brings the kids super expensive (stolen) jewellery to wear on prom night and for big dances, charges in secrets about their parents.

Business and Economics, with a side in mind control: Maxwell Lord (in the more business-orientated editions). Keeps to himself, is one of those teachers who doesn’t actually seem to like kids. Always wears a freshly pressed suit. Bit of an asshole. Selina tripped him down the stairs once.

Magic: supposedly taught by Felix Faust, but Klarion enrolled as a student just to show up in his lectures and argue. Every. Single. Point. Magic classes have turned into a magical war several times. They can only get along when someone else turns up claiming magic isn’t real. Faust has a lecture prepared for the non-believers, Klarion has a fireball. Circe often shows up in these classes, ‘borrows’ all the female students for private lessons and turns all the boys into pigs. Pig-Klarion does not appreciate this.

Physics and advanced thermodynamics: Killer Frost. Gets on really well with the Gotham City Sirens; they have cocktail parties in the staff lounge every second Thursday. Is paid by other villains kidnapping Firestorm so she can feed. Absolutely has favourite students and students she hates with a passion; has been known to freeze some students to their chairs in lieu of detention.

Other random villains that show up from time to time: - Flash’s Rogues Gallery. Created the infamous ‘Rogues week’ at the end of the year where every single one of them shows up and helps the students wreak absolute chaos across the school. Can never be stopped from showing up and starting this. Captain Cold comes grudgingly, sits in Slade’s office and has a drink with him; the rest of the Rogues join in with the chaos a bit too enthusiastically. Best week for the seniors. The younger rogues would totally be students and help to smuggle the older ones in for Rogues week.

- Black Manta: shows up sometimes, teaches a few lectures, leaves. Always on super random topics, often tangentially related to his latest evil scheme. The students have a betting pool that reawakens after each visit on how his talk will relate to his next scheme. Literally no one understands why he shows up. Doesn’t get paid, doesn’t seem to enjoy it. ?????? Has great on-land fashion sense though. A lot of the older students have lowkey crushes on him

- Cheetah takes advanced genetics and many other complex of aspects of science. Only shows up to teach special classes for the seniors. High fives Ivy in the corridors.

- Deadshot. Sometimes shows up and interrupts Deathstroke’s guns lessons (poor guy can never teach a lesson in peace), always gets chased out of the school. Gets teary eyed over the young female students kicking ass. Doesn’t seem to do anything useful but somehow gets paid a salary. Sleeps in the gym when he’s on the run from Amanda Wakker/Batman.

- Hugo Strange keeps showing up in disguises and trying to get the psychology job. Last time it was just a fake moustache. What is he even hoping to achieve.

- Merlyn shows up when he’s bored to host archery competitions on the front lawn. Mostly does this when Oliver Queen is in town. Keeps saying he’s going to pick a protégé out of the best archers and never does because the Arrow Clan kids annoy him so much he’s wound up thinking he hates kids. Actually loves kids, pretends to be snooty and above them though. 100% has to prove he’s still the best archer at every competition, even the one for 12 year olds.

TumblrFrostbite: If the super villain academy children, by the time they hit twenty, had to do some VERY impressive villainous in order to graduate, what type of villainous stuff would you have the rookies villains do to not only graduate, but also to be considered as full fledged villains?

gingerly-writing: So, I actually have a hero and villain school in my own original superhero works, and I did come up with a solution to this one. If you’re writing your own original stuff, please change this up, but if you’re writing fic I don’t mind if you nick it wholesale (as long as you tag me in it! I’d love to read it).

My thought was: all villains are going to be different, with different strengths and gifts. Sending them all to, I don’t know, infiltrate an island or fight Black Canary (which no one would win, let’s be honest) doesn’t seem fair on those it doesn’t suit. I was really struggling to come up with something that could work for everyone that didn’t force them to work in a team, because, well…villainous teams never work so well. Too many egos and whatnot.

My solution was: have the kids pick their own challenges. Make it their end of final year project. They submit a fully researched plan, all the way from the developmental stages to the final polished article. Plans like ‘killing Batman’ or ‘blowing up the planet’ are swiftly vetoed, but as long as they’re convincing enough the plan can get as elaborate and dangerous as they like. Half the marks come from the plan itself, and half for execution. Sometimes, my particularly vindictive kiddos make their plan to screw over their nemesis’ plan; I particularly enjoy when their plans are both to screw over each others’ plans. That gets entertaining.

They’re assigned a teacher whose knowledge base best fits with the plan the kid wants to execute, and they submit and resubmit and re-resubmit it to improve and refine their scheme until it’s as perfect as it’s going to get. Then, with no further outside help, they have to execute it.

This method lets you titivate the grand finale to best suit your plot needs. Your character has a serious nemesis? Pitch them against each other. Parental grudge? Make their aim to foil their parent’s plans. Hero that they hate? Plan to ruin their day. Plus, you can shove in bureaucratic nightmares and whatever other problems you can dream up (sabotage, indecision, dreams too grand to execute) into the planning stages.

I’m not sure you could do anything in a school situation to make the outside world consider them ‘real villains’: that would take time, money, and a body count, all things a school probably can’t afford to have on their books, villainous or not. But a huge, large-scale, dramatic graduating plan probably wouldn’t hurt any young villain’s rep!

Y’know, for me, this was just background information, but now I kind of want to write a whole book focusing on it. xx

[nonbinarychishiyatruther]

You say a lot of our arguments are old and getting boring, then why are you replying? Why are you still giving us your excuses?

im going to talk from my personal opinion, I don’t speak for anyone else. I don’t consider masturbation as selfcest because masturbation is to pleasure oneself by usually thinking about other people or concepts (or some people just don’t think about anything at all). selfcest is ultimately different because in Loki’s case, it is someone who is considered as another version of him. I find that incredibly disturbing that Marvel couldn’t give him anyone but another version of himself to help love himself (which is as far as I know why they made him fall in love with another Loki). Selfcest is a concept that is pretty much dating yourself and in Loki’s case another version. Apparently a “female Loki” according to the other Loki’s although they are all meant to be genderfluid, so I am not sure how it is supposed to fit.

good for you, you do not change your pronouns or bind or change how you present yourself. I actually do agree with you in which that there is no “right” way to be genderfluid or non-binary. I myself was once labelled as genderfluid but then ultimately decided to reject gender labels. I did not and could not change my appearance, I went by all pronouns and I still do, oh and i am closeted. I do not frankly see how it’s racist or fatphobic. I, as a POC, not exactly thin, still genderfluid in the definition of genderfluid am telling you right now, the way Loki is portrayed is still not good enough. Of course there is no right way to specifically identify as genderfluid but I would’ve been fine with the fact that he uses he/him pronouns and is masculine presented if something Was even mentioned about it. Instead we got a brief look of a paper that told us he was genderfluid and mentioning in the “female” Loki.

it is nice that we got the confirmation that Loki is bisexual and Genderfluid. but being happy about that and wanting more can coexist. Like I said, I am neither cis or heterosexual. But we are not pushing the binary, its marvel pushing that onto Loki, I’m not really sure why you like to assume I am the enemy when all I want is Loki to maybe say something about his genderfluidity, maybe a bit of rep of what it’s like or maybe we can finally have a relationship that seems less like the “female Loki” and the “Male Loki” being together and more like two queer people being together. I don’t want subtle hints, I want actual representation because I deserved that. Maybe you are satisfied with very minimal rep like “a bit of both” and a statement on a piece of paper but I’m not. Also I like how you mentioned the armour, its a detail I missed before I appreciate that.

I am not exactly defending a ship war, yes I am biased because I ship Morbius and Loki. But that doesn’t mean I’m right, all I wanted was good representation from one character. They can keep their other cishet characters. I wouldve accepted a femme presenting and masc presenting queer couple of it was done right and not selfcest. Also I don’t really care about the politics of Marvel and Disney and homophobic families. They already make enough from other movies, they could’ve afforded giving Loki the rep he deserved. Also this might blow your mind but I’m not just looking queer rep in marvel, I’m in many other fandoms where they ACTUALLY do queer rep right. I just wanted to see it in one of my favourite characters where he was actually changing his gender often in the comics. My argument is not in fact transphobic or biphobic or misogynistic. Maybe you should blame Marvel for what you see the in the fandom and maybe you should accuse Marvel instead of people who just want to see well done queer representation.

also if you reply to this I would not be replying back because I don’t have time for people who settle for less

The biphobia in the Loki fandom is astonishing. Every day I have to block multiple people because of it.

Under the read more cut there are just a few examples of biphobia. If you find the original posts, don't send them hate. Just block them.

[imaginetonyandbucky]

Helping Hands

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five| Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine | Chapter Ten | Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve: Showing One’s Hand

It was utterly and completely unfair of Lewis to send him this perfect picture of masculine beauty, dressed in the colors of early morning light and looking like a hipster angel. 

Tony sighed, shoved Loki’s butt out of his face, and got a mouthful of angry cat tail for his trouble. It was damned hard to look dignified with an over-enthusiastic cat on his desk. “Is it time for the awkward conversation, then?” 

Bucky scrubbed at the back of his neck, looking at Tony from under his thick lashes, and that was just fighting dirty, that’s what that was. “Hey,” Bucky said, “next time you’re plannin’ on pitchin’ me out of an airplane, a parachute might be nice. Not sayin’ I couldn’t’ve handled it better, but…” 

“Told Happy it was a word,” Tony muttered, then gestured to Bucky. “Nothing, don’t mind me, talking to myself. Go on.” 

“I suck at apologies, Tony,” Bucky said. “Every time I say sorry these days, and believe me, I say it a lot, what I feel like I’m doin’ is sayin’ ‘excuse me that I exist and that I’m inconvenient that way.’ I begrudge and hate every single one of ‘em. Sorry comes out of my mouth coated with bile. I hate the taste of it.” 

Tony shrugged like he didn’t care. “You don’t have to apologize for existing.” 

“I… um,” and Bucky was blushing, hot, red and furious, spreading from under the scarf and staining his cheeks. “Shit. I… it wasn’t nothing. It was… um. I ain’t never been with a man before.”

Tony blinked. That wasn’t anything he was expecting. “You’re a virgin? How is that even possible?” 

“Christ’s cup,” Bucky swore, ducking his head. “No. I was married for twelve years. I mean… I… bisexual. It’s a thing. It’s the box I check at the doctor’s office, but it was… sort of theoretical until--” 

“Until this afternoon,” Tony said. Wow. He hadn’t seen that one coming. Tony remembered his first time with Sunset Bain, who’d been the first girl he’d slept with, and remembering how weird and strange that had seemed to him. He’d been used to a man’s body and shape, and it had taken him a while to figure out how it all worked, all over again. Suddenly everything seemed a little bit clearer. Bucky hadn’t nudged him on the bed as a one-and-done, an experienced bathroom-quickie sort of guy. 

So much more of everything made sense. Tony couldn’t quite put himself in Bucky’s shoes; he’d been outed at twelve, so he had no real context for that, but he understood better now Bucky’s sheer rage at the photographs and the reactions of co-workers and neighbors. 

Tony had decades of experience and it still made his heart race when someone started flinging homophobic slurs around. It had to be especially hard for a man who’d had his first homosexual encounter at nearly forty and then was immediately outed on a national scale. Sweet Tesla, it was a wonder Bucky was even here, talking to Tony now. 

“It meant something to me, I promise,” Bucky said. “But then your…” 

“Yeah, Lewis is a bit much sometimes. Taser-queen, too, so don’t ever get on her bad side, you wouldn’t like that.” 

Bucky ignored that and ploughed onward, as if he’d worked out his whole speech and was determined to get through it. Maybe he had. “I… I dunno, felt like what we’d just done was… tawdry, somehow. Dirty. I… it’s fuckin’ hard to admit things are, you know, what they are. And here’s this woman commenting on… I thought I was going to die, right there on the spot.” 

Tony smiled, a bit rueful. “You have to understand. Darcy’s been, as the phrase goes, all up in my business, for several years now. I don’t think it ever occurred to her that you might be shy.” 

Bucky made a growling sound deep in his chest. Loki gave the man a completely pissed expression and fled from the room, his tail bristling. 

“I got a lot from Big Jim about bein’ a man,” Bucky said. “What that meant and what was expected of me, and when your publicist started talkin’ to us about pretending to be in a relationship, like I was your whore or something. I felt like I’d finally gone and dropped the one thing that kept me part of my dad’s life, the one thing he was proud of. That I was a man. I know, I know, it’s stupid but... I ain’t gonna say sorry, Tony. I can’t. The words, they stick in me, an’ you deserve better--” 

“Ug, no,” Tony said. “No, and no, and no. Definitely not. I have been on the other side of some pretty terrible relationships, and people using me to get to my money. I would… believe me, I never want to be on the other side of that stick. I don’t even think I could, and my opinion of myself couldn’t possibly get much worse.”

Bucky blushed even redder, and Tony started to worry that he might get a nosebleed, like one of those hyperactive anime characters that Bruce was so fond of. “So, um…. Maybe we could try it out?” 

Tony replayed the conversation in his head a few times -- he had a gift for memory that was more of a curse in the middle of the night when he couldn’t sleep for constantly replaying the less pleasant conversations in his life -- and it still wasn’t making sense. Like, they’d cut to commercial and left something out to make the time-slot. 

“Try what?” 

“Darcy’s idea. We could…” 

“Pretend to be in love?” Tony sighed. 

“No, idiot,” Bucky snapped and Tony had to swallow a laugh, because he sounded so damn frustrated and it was actually sort of cute. “The relationship. Look at it as... on-the-job training, or something. Sounds like, whatever my pride wants to believe, I don’t have much choice but to let your people fix this mess. I don’t want anything to happen to Stevie, or the twins for that matter. So. We have three to six months of living in each other’s back pocket anyway. It’s a little more hard-core, reality show sort of dating than most people have, but…” 

“You want to go trial-by-fire on being boyfriends?” Tony said. Under his desk, he pinched his own arm, trying to see if he was, actually, asleep and dreaming. Ow. No, still here. 

Bucky shrugged and nodded and Tony tried to marshal all the reasons why this would be a terrible, awful idea, except there was one thought that stood out among all the rest: he wanted this. And maybe in some other life, Tony had been cautious or prudent, but it hadn’t yet happened in this life. In this life, Tony had never walked away from something he wanted just because it was a bad idea. 

“Okay. Sure. You got it,” Tony said. 

He was pretty sure this was going to star in his next unofficial biography as the all-time worst plan ever, but Bucky was leaning in his doorway looking like a Roman god, and Tony just… gave up. 

Tony had met dozens, perhaps hundreds, of lawyers in his lifetime and he had to say that Clint Barton didn’t look anything like any lawyer Tony had ever met. For one thing, he was wearing a purple and black tank top and had arms like a Mr. Universe contestant. Clint also wore a pair of discreet hearing aids and watched carefully whenever anyone was talking. He had blue eyes and a killer stare, with buzzed sandy blond hair and while Steve didn’t look very much like his father (though he acted a lot like his dad, down to mimicking Bucky’s expressions and gestures with adorable accuracy), it was easy to see the Barton bloodline when comparing the boy to his uncle. 

“Hey, kid,” Clint said, ruffling Bucky’s hair so hard that it fell out of the bun, scattering it all over his face. 

“My brother-in-law, Clint,” Bucky said, slapping Clint’s hand away. “Clint, Tony.” 

“Pleasure,” Clint said, pumping Tony’s hand twice with professional smoothness. 

“How’s Nat?” Bucky asked, as they moved into Tony’s enormous front parlor. 

“Wants me to smack you in the head about eight times for worrying the shit out of us, firecracker,” Clint said. He turned a conspiratorial look on Tony. “Can you believe this asshole? I’ve known him since he was all of thirteen years old, went on doubles with him all through high school while he was dating my sister, and then he’s in the hospital for a week and doesn’t call, doesn’t text, I get nothing from him until yesterday when he asks me to represent him in a legal agreement? Seriously, you’d think I never dumped a bucket of ice-water on him and Sarah while they were playin’ doctor just under my window.” 

Bucky shuddered, rubbing his arms. “And he says I’m the asshole,” Bucky protested. “And you only doubled with us because of Barney.” 

“My older brother,” Clint explained. “He… was a little over-protective.” 

“That’s one way to put it,” Bucky muttered. 

“This sounds like a story,” Tony admitted. “Get you a drink? Tea, soda, water? Whiskey?” 

Clint made a show of checking his watch, then gave Tony a wide grin. “It’s five o’clock somewhere.” 

“Whiskey it is, how do you take it?” 

“What label?” 

Tony rattled off a quick list, and Clint jumped at the Bowmore. “Just in a glass, my man,” Clint said. “A religious experience shouldn’t be diluted.” Clint knocked back the whiskey, took half of it in one swallow and then inhaled, flailed around a little like a muppet and grinned. “Oh, this is fine. Thank you.” 

“My pleasure,” Tony said, shaking his head. Still a little too early for him (he was trying so hard to be good, especially since he had guests) so he poured himself an iced tea and dumped about eight spoonfuls of sugar into it. 

Clint finished off his drink and set the glass aside, digging into his briefcase for a pack of papers. “I have to say, Mr. Stark, these are some very generous terms.” 

“Well, technically, Bucky’s on a 24/7 work schedule for the next three months, at least, which is a lot of overtime. The newspapers don’t sleep, and anyone with a telephoto lens could be watching at any moment, so we have to be prepared. There’s a bonus in there for situational hardship, but it’s standard SAG wages,” Tony explained, stirring his glass and watching the swirl of sugar in the bottom. “He’s not a guild member, of course, but it’s just easier to calculate everyone in the same manner.” 

“A what?” Bucky asked. Tony had watched him painfully read through the contract, but apparently not much of it had stuck. Well, that was why he’d called the lawyer brother-in-law, Tony supposed. Not everyone was weaned on contract legalese. 

“Screen Actor’s Guild,” Tony said. “Preserving my reputation is an exercise in lying, and the best professional liars are actors.” 

Clint snorted. “No, they’re not.” 

“Lawyers, guns, and money,” Bucky quipped and Clint followed up with a surprisingly melodious singing voice, “won’t get me out of this.” 

Clint pulled out a pair of glasses and slid them onto his nose; Tony noticed that it made a great deal of difference to his air of competence. A suit jacket would make him downright formidable. “My suggestion, here, Buck,” he said, tracing down the document, “is this clause, Section VII, line 4 through 12. Rather than re-locating Steve after the contract is ended, I think you should push to keep him in the new school for the duration of the school year. It’s hard on kids, relocating. It’s a privately-run school, so where you end up living after the contract ends won’t be a hardship as far as attendance goes. But we might also want some wording in there for continual transport to and from, at least for this academic year.” 

Tony hadn’t even thought about that; he’d been kicked out of so many different boarding schools and academies, he wasn’t sure he’d finished a single school year in the same building as he’d started it, but he was also a genius and the classwork had been only of minimal importance, anyway. He did most of his learning on his own, through trial and error. Professor Xavier was a personal friend of Tony’s, and there were aid packages, but the tuition was still pretty high. Tony wasn’t going to push back on that change, though -- the tuition was the same whether Steve was there for three months or the full years, so the only real change was the additional transportation. 

“And here,” Clint said, “we can’t direct deposit, at least not right now.” 

“That’s the fastest, most secure --” 

“I don’t have a bank account, Tony,” Bucky admitted, scratching at his chin. 

Tony blinked. “Wha--?” Tony had dozens of personal accounts, not to mention expense accounts and investment accounts and credit cards. How did someone even function in the world without a bank account? 

“Look, banks charge all sorts of monthly fees, especially if you actually don’t have enough money to pay the damn fees,” Bucky muttered, defensively. “And there’s all sorts of overdraft fees and… it ain’t worth the bother. An’ I don’t even get paid at work with a paycheck, I have a… a company debit card. They add funds to it. ‘Course there’s fees for that, too, whenever I use it, especially if I need cash.” 

“How do you… I don’t know, pay your bills without a checking account?” Tony asked. Not that Tony had ever written a check in his life that wasn’t a publicity stunt for some charity or other. 

“Money orders,” Bucky said. 

“Don’t they charge fees for that, too?” 

“Look at you, got almost as much sense as a real person,” Bucky said, rolling his eyes. 

Tony nodded, staring at the floor. He’d never been poor; not even faux poor like some of his trust-account friends back at school, whose parents had threatened to (and on a few occasions had done so) cut them off from time to time. He’d never done those food-stamp challenges or poverty tourism events. First off, most of the celebs who tried them failed miserably and publically, and secondly, it seemed beyond rude. 

Empathy wasn’t putting yourself in someone else’s shoes; it was about recognizing that their pain was real and legitimate. You didn’t have to understand, you didn’t have to feel it, or be able to relate. You just had to recognize pain when you saw it. Tony scoffed at himself. Like a poor marksman, he kept missing the target. 

“Anything else?” Tony asked, once Clint had worked through the rest of the document with Bucky, explaining and clarifying. “If not, I’ll get Hill on it, and she can have a fresh copy sent over.” 

“Oh, Maria?” Clint said, looking up. “I thought she was still at S.H.I.E.L.D..” 

“My benefits package is better than a government contractor,” Tony said, buffing his nails on his shirt. Tony noticed Clint’s glass was empty. “You want a refill on this?” 

“I’m a full partner, Stark; don’t think you can get me to jump ship,” Clint said, wagging his finger, “not with that kind of bribe. But yes, please.” 

Tony moved over to the bar, but still caught Bucky’s low, worried voice. “Do you think I should sign?” 

“Ah, firecracker, I know. It tastes like shit in your mouth,” Clint said. Tony peeked at them in the reflection over the bar. “But, yes. Yes, you should. It’s an opportunity, the kind most people don’t see in a lifetime. Even one year in Xavier’s school can mean a huge opportunity for Steve. And we’re talking about enough salary here for you to go back to school and finish your bachelor’s, Buck. You really should do this.” 

They weren’t exactly being subtle, but Tony got the feeling that it would be better to pretend he wasn’t listening, and so he poured himself a drink as well, squelching a nasty spurt of guilt. Fuck it. 

“Okay,” Bucky said, his jaw tightening like he was steeling himself to put his hand in a fire. “Okay.” 

“Nat and I have your back,” Clint said, “whatever happens. You know that, right?” 

Bucky leaned against his brother-in-law and Clint wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “I know.” 

Tony brought back drinks and handed one off to Clint, knocking his back and feeling the burn. “Tell me, why do you call Bucky ‘firecracker’?” 

Bucky blushed, brilliant red, hiding a sudden and sly smile behind his hand that lit up his whole face. “That was years ago,” he protested. “Not my fault, totally not.” 

Clint flicked a hand in Bucky’s direction. “He burned my grandmother’s gazebo down.” 

Over Bucky’s protests, shoves, and eventual clocking Clint over the head with one of the couch cushions, Clint told the story, which was long and involved and ended with a much younger Bucky, Clint, and Sarah diving behind the picnic table for cover as a stray spark ended up in their bag of illegal fireworks that eventually burned the backyard garden structure to the ground. 

“Honestly,” Clint said, “I’m surprised he ended up a sniper. I would have thought the army could have made use of his demolitions expertise.” 

“Asshole,” Bucky said, shoving his brother-in-law again. 

Author Note: I have some poverty feelz again. Some of this stuff is directly from my personal experience. Also, BANKS SUCK.  Secondary Note: the Lawyers, Guns, and Money is a line from a Warren Zevon song of the same title. Check it out, it’s cute. @tisfan - feel free to follow me and come chat...