#pretend i have been active posting art ok

[otosquinklus]

doomed bug yuri so crazy it makes me SICKK

[sophie-looks-at-stuff]

Some random modern HotD headcanons :)

Hey y’all! So I kept thinking of some funny, and very specific headcanons for the HotD characters, so I decided to just make it a whole post. This will actually be my first “legit” post on here, lol! Anyways, this will include some headcanons about Aemond, Aegon II, Luke, Jace, Daemon, Rhaenyra, Helaena, etc. But hope y’all enjoy lol! :)

Ok, I am convinced that Aemond has a secret stash of tea hidden somewhere. He's even put them all in a very nice ornate, antique box. It's his guilty pleasure. He probably would have some Earl Gray, English Breakfast, maybe even some lavender mint for the evenings. He'd keep it secret because all the teas he's gotten are way too expensive, and special.

Luke is an avid Minecraft gamer. Like he's basically built Dragonstone, and the Red Keep in his server. He'll play sometimes with Jace, or maybe even Aegon. But he doesn't let them into that world. Aegon would probably blow it all up with TnT.

Speaking of gaming, I think some people are on the same page that Aegon would be some kind of gamer. He'd be up to date on all the new systems and gadgets. He'd be one of the firsts to have the PS5 when it came out. He probably plays a lot of Call of Duty. Maybe even some Valorant when he doesn't wanna fire up the PS. He'd definitely be cursing and yelling at the game, to the point where Alicent threatens to take it away.

While Rhaenyra watches her shows, House Wives, Rupaul's Drag Race, etc. Daemon pretends to be not interested, but really he's super invested. He'd be leaning against the couch, or the wall totally sucked in. And when Rhaenyra tells him to just sit down and watch with her, he's all like, "no no I don't even like this show". But then he'd say things like, "Well maybe if her gown was better made she wouldn't have been eliminated last episode".

Aegon gives me frat boy energy. And I know I'm not the first to say that lol. You already know he's planning all the parties, and picking the themes. I like to think he'd be very invested into picking the themes. They would be things like, dragon night, wear your fave dragon scale colors. Or something like, Dragonstone beach night, wear your swim suits and flip flops.

Alicent likes to knit. Or maybe crochet? It's her stress reliever activity after dealing with Aegon, and the rest of the boys. Helaena is always giving her new patterns or designs to try.

I think Alicent also likes to take the occasional Buzzfeed quiz. "If you were a cake flavor, here's what you'd be based on your star sign".

Helaena runs a very successful tik tok account. She'd post her outfits, and maybe some art or cool bugs she's found.

Aegon listens to a lot of Megan Thee Stallion and Kim Petras. He's blasting Kim Petras' Treat me like a Slut at least 5 times a day. He gets ready to it in the morning.

Aemond will get down to some Amy Winehouse.

Jace works at the local animal shelter as his summer job. He only got the job cause Rhaenyra said he needed to get out of the house. Plus Helaena also works there, so she helped him get hired.

Aemond would be a great bartender. Not with like actually interacting with customers, but he can make some great drinks. Like he's over here coming up with all these crazy cocktails. Although, like his tea obsession he keeps this on the low. He doesn't want Aegon asking him to make drinks all the time. Gods forbid he asks Aemond to bartend at one of the frat parties.

Helaena was a Monster High girl growing up.

Aemond has a motorcycle. It was his one rebellious purchase. Alicent hates it.

Luke can kick Aegon's ass in any game, video or otherwise. You name it, Call of Duty, UNO, Valorent, Go fish...

Rhaenyra has a bit of a sweet tooth, but she has to hide her candy stash, cause the boys will steal it in a heartbeat. Who would have thought Daemon would love lemon drops so much.

I really could go on forever, these are just too fun to write. But I'll leave it here for now lol.

[galeorderbride]

In response to the prompts post.....Honestly, I would love to see Evie in a casual locale - like a coffee shop, or something of the sort. Bonus points for how it might compare to her time in Menzoberranzan. Like, would they even have coffee shops in spider hell?? Or ANY kind of whimsical establishment, for that matter?! As a fellow drow enthusiast....these are the questions that come to me lol

@evocationwriter thank you for the prompt request!! Here is my way too large post on a bit of Drow lore + a coffee themed fluff piece ft. Gale and Evie :)

All of the info in this post is from various pages in the Forgotten Realms wiki.

...

Ok, so I did some searching on the Forgotten Realms wiki for info on Menzoberranzan amenities. The Bazaar is a large market square in the Duthcloim district, where most non-Noble Drow live. It’s a mercantile district with a lot of diversity (as much as you can get in a place like Menzoberranzan). Sellers from everywhere come here, even the surface, and from what the wiki says, you can find pretty much everything there. 

I didn’t find anything specifically on coffee, but there is a notable shop called Daelein Shimmerdark’s Decanters, which is basically a liquor store lol. So if there’s alcohol, there’s probably coffee. 

According to the DND wiki, coffee in Forgotten Realms lore is pretty rare outside major metropolitan centres. I didn’t see anything about Menzoberranzan specifically but it is a very large city with a lot of wealthy nobles and lively trade, I’d be surprised if Matriarchs were not interested in coffee if not to just show off their wealth.

Another place with a pretty vibrant coffee scene: Waterdeep! 

Evie’s mother was all about discipline and superiority, so I don’t think she’d allow Evie much access to the Bazaar, and might even view surface things like coffee as beneath them. 

But with our favourite, most handsomest wizard? Definitely I could see Gale taking Evie to a coffee shop to have her taste it for the first time. 

So, I wrote this small fluff piece set post-game (even though Weave Wielder isn’t done yet). Gale finds out Evie’s never tasted coffee and wants to change that! 

Rating: T (Fluff piece, some allusions to past narcissistic abuse for Evie, comfort from Gale)

WC: 1906

Set a month ish post-game (Uktar), Gale and Evie are in Waterdeep. This can be read standalone from the whole Weave Wielder fic, but Evie is still pregnant and struggling with her Karsite illness as the crown hasn’t been found yet. No spoilers for the WW ending either, just a little drabble separate from the actual story :) 

Read under the cut :)

Musings of Hazelnut

Waterdeep, the City of Splendours. The place Evie called home for the last four weeks. A bustling city full of arts, culture and populous interaction. In a way, it reminded her of Menzoberranzan, in Duthcloim. A centre of all things one could imagine. She used to frequent the markets with her brothers, when her mother was too busy to tell them a place like that was below them. Servants went there, not the noble Arkenafins. 

But now, Evie could go wherever she pleased, when she felt well enough. In the days where Gale took a break from searching for the crown, he insisted on taking walks together. Keeping her active as her stomach seemed to grow bigger by the day. Four months along, she was beginning to feel the more exhausting effects, and taking short walks helped. Everything with Gale helped. His hand in hers, when they forgot about the crown, that she was slowly withering away until it was found. They still had time, she could still pretend. 

Gale and Evie walked arm in arm around the Castle Ward market, smiling and pointing at the countless merchants selling every good and service the Sword Coast could offer. Textiles of every pattern, handmade shoes oddly placed next to a produce stall with fresh vegetables, mulled wine from Cormyr spreading the autumnal scent of star anise and cloves. Her woollen cloak covered her arms comfortably, masking the necrotic veins within her. As far as anyone in this market was concerned, they were just a normal couple. 

Gale leaned over, saying to her as they walked, “You look absolutely beautiful in that colour, my love. I can’t wait for it to snow, you’ll look practically ethereal.” 

She grinned, feeling her stomach warm with tenderness. “Gray? How can anyone look beautiful in grey?” 

“When it’s you,” he said. 

They shared a glance. Those eyes, the deep chestnut that pulled her in like a magnet. Showing her that every single word he said, he meant with his entire soul. Including the allure of woollen grey. 

A different scent replaced the mulled wine, a darker, more intense one. Steam warmed her nose, a little red from the brisk air. Welcoming her into a hot embrace that begged to remedy her icy hands. Something she’d smelled before in the Bazaar but never tried herself. The half-elf merchant pouring fresh brew into several carafes, labelled with different flavour notes. Coffee. 

“Are you a coffee drinker, Gale? We never had any back at camp,” Evie asked, reminiscing on times that seemed simpler in her head, a false memory that forgot the chaos of that adventure. Remembered pleasantly because that’s where she met Gale. 

He shrugged, “Sometimes. That hazelnut brew does sound lovely with a dash of Waterdeep whiskey. Perfect for a night by the fire, reading to you. Would you like some?” 

“I don’t know, I’ve never tried it. No idea if I’d even like it,” she said. 

Gale widened his eyes, “Never?! Didn’t you grow up in the largest city of the Underdark? How have you never had a cup of coffee?” 

Evie shrugged, reading the labels of the coffee: hazelnut, vanilla toffee, Calimshan medium roast (whatever that meant) and dark roast with cocoa. She was interested, mostly just because she enjoyed making Gale excited in whatever way she could. Seeing him eager to enjoy something with her never failed to make her giddy. 

“Mother said things like that were beneath us. Just a fad that made lower matriarchs feel better about themselves. My brothers and I would go to the Bazaar and look, but never touch lest our mother would find out,” she said. 

She didn’t intend to darken the mood, but that was something she tended to do when talking about her past. Realising slowly that for every happy memory she had, there were four sad ones waiting in tow. Thankfully, she had a man like Gale to make up for all the unpleasantness, taking every opportunity to create the best of experiences for her, no matter how big or small. 

“Pick a flavour. We’ll sit away from the market and try it. I’ll buy some ginger cream as well, I have a feeling you’ll like it,” he said, smiling as she pointed to the hazelnut flavour. Mostly because it was his preference. Their little game of seeing who could please the other more hadn’t faded with the defeat of the elder brain. 

Leading them down the market square and into a little clearing with picnic tables, Evie watched around as Gale set up the coffee. She saw the bustle of different people, crowding around trying to get from place to place, living all kinds of different lives. This was the first time she’d seen a city during Uktar so full of—life. Not desolate and empty, parading its superiority to no one like in Menzoberranzan. 

“Back home, the entire city would be silent during this time of year. Not a whistle of a presence unless you were attending the ceremonies at Tier Breche,” Evie said, voice trailing as if she was thinking out loud rather than talking to Gale. 

Gale nodded, “Ah, Tier Breche, the education centre in Menzoberranzan. Let me assume you attended Sorcere?” 

She shook her head, “For a while, but no one wanted to tolerate my wild surges. Not that I blame them. When I dropped out, I realised how quiet the city was to those not permitted to attend. Like living in a ghost town at the perfect time coffee should be served. When it’s chilly and cloudy.” 

“You couldn’t buy anything?” Gale asked, pouring two cups from the carafe across the table, finishing off the drinks with the ginger cream. 

“Everything was shut down. Only the necessities could be bought and every luxury good better have been bought prior,” Evie explained, sitting next to him on the same side of the table. “No outsiders or non-Drow permitted. No trade, no festivities. Nothing. The city was silent. Not somewhere a cosy blanket and a warm drink could remedy.” 

So different from Waterdeep, a place she wasn’t sure she’d ever grow accustomed to. She liked far away places, cottages concealed by clusters of birch and oak trees, overlooking lakes, rivers and creeks. Places she could experience good silence. But when she saw the flurry of people around her, she enjoyed a small, tender comfort. Children playing and drinking cocoa as their parents spectated from benches or shopped at stalls. Merchants egging people on to barter, faking their brightest smile to attract patrons. Residents in nearby apartments fanning out their laundry in the windows or waving at neighbours. In the midst of a month normally reserved for clandestine silence. At that moment, Evie felt at home in the middle of that bustle. 

“What about here?” He asked, showing her the spread of coffee he’d set up for her. 

“Perfect,” she said, trying to contain her smile. Gods, he made her look like a fool. Giggly and grinning enough to make her seem insane to the outside world. For something as simple as setting up a cup of coffee for her. 

They held the cups up and lightly clinked them in a cheers, enough for a splash of the hot liquid onto the top of Evie’s hand. She winced a little, a tiny sting that came and went in half a second. Gale, on the other hand, acted quickly in putting their drinks down so he could take her hand and examine the minimal burn. 

“Oh, my love! I’m sorry, are you alright?” He asked, peppering soft kisses on the tiny, red mark. Ginger, nutty coffee faintly hit his lips. She blushed at the public display of affection, one of Gale’s favourite hobbies. Not something she was used to, but would be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy such outward adoration. 

Evie laughed, “Are you going to let me try this coffee or would you rather spend the day kissing my hand?” 

“Very well, try the coffee,” he said, letting her pick the cup back up, “I’ll kiss wherever you like when we get home.” 

Somehow, Evie felt nervous. Trying something simple like coffee should’ve been nothing more than a pleasantry. Yet, her stomach tingled with silly anticipation, some of it excited but another part of her felt like she was breaking the rules. Doing something she wasn’t supposed to. Temptation to look over her shoulder combined with the eagerness to rebel. A little too late to be revolting against her mother, but if she could give Evie guilt from beyond the grave, Evie could rage against her useless rules. Against the conditions of her home city, so rigid and violent in the name of superiority and ‘faith’. 

Evie’s lips touched the cup, feeling the warm liquid shield her from the cold. Notes of hazelnut and ginger permeated her nose from the fresh steam, a welcoming taste pushed to the side by the bitterness of the coffee beans. The sharp taste made her shift, contemplating whether or not she liked the drink. 

Gale was enamoured, transfixed by the humorous beauty of her facial expressions as she worked through the taste of the coffee. Getting to watch her experience a completely new thing, sharing a moment with her others never had. After he found the crown, his next mission would be lifelong. Spending a mortal eternity giving her new opportunities, if anything, for a chance to see her living alongside him. Loving her more by the minute, whether she liked the coffee or not. 

After Evie took a few sips, she said, laughing off a growing disappointment that she couldn’t quite place. “This is what everyone loses their mind over? For some reason, I thought this would feel more…impactful. Years of being forbidden from drinking this, I suppose I shouldn’t have expected an otherworldly experience but I did.” 

Perhaps Gale should’ve known part of her eagerness to try coffee was out of spite for her oppressive mother. Disappointment was inevitable, and now, she needed care. Even if she was trying to laugh about it. 

He gently pulled off her cloak hood, moving her hair away from her neck and running his fingers through the fair strands of blonde along her back. Shivers ran down her spine as he brought his index finger to her chin, turning her head to face him, giving her a delicate, loving kiss. His free hand continued to go through her hair, doing everything he could to bring her back to light. This always worked, he had such a way with her. Able to remind her that she didn’t have to be afraid anymore, that vindication was nothing next to the tenderness of her new life with Gale. She had no idea what she did to deserve him. 

“I have an idea,” he said. “Why don’t we go home, and I’ll make you whatever warm drink you like. Or cold drink, I won’t fuss about temperature.”

Their faces were still close, hovering over each other’s lips as she said, “Your homemade hot cocoa?” 

“Whatever you wish, my love. It’ll be yours,” he said, moving some of her hair behind her ear and kissing her cheek. 

They picked up the coffee, Gale deciding he would give the rest of the beans to his mother later. For now, the couple walked hand-in-hand back to his tower, ready to spend the rest of the day in comfort and tranquillity.

[firespirited]

It has been brought to my attention that people can't know me unless I let you in. You're not mind-readers or actively remembering every detail. So let's get vulnerable *awkward thumbs up*

Here are some answers to not frequently asked questions:

You can use my real name, it works for me, Saffy's a chosen name for online (and offline if people struggle with pronunciation). I like both.

Don't worry about french timezones. I sleep 14 hours a day, awake about 12, resting for about half of that. I do have to go AFK regularly to do household stuff and rest, but if i'm online it's ok to assume i'm around =)

I can't drive. Haven't learned. Finally open to the idea though.

I don't have a DNI and don't talk about squicks and stressors because Tumblr has good curation options that i use extensively: So if I don't engage with a post, it could be that it contains a specific word. Things I haven't been able to filter but can set off a spiral are gun ownership 'for protection' (science says nope). Disability and labour (specifically the idea we have to be productive and also the fact that many disabled folks are maimed by attempting work). Breath play (extremely dangerous), sloppily defined 'kink' and ill-defined long term relationships. The word glioblastoma makes me cry. Tween pregnancy, death from childbirth, covid, long covid and various aspects of rape culture get greylisted at more difficult times.

I'm ace but have no issue with erotica and nudes or most sex scenes. Doesn't do much for me, doesn't disgust me most of the time. However, I can't stand products of the porn industry: zero interest in watching the adventures of a near disembodied penis in a woman who's clearly performing. You can be sex positive, support sex work and still see the industry as detrimental. Stunt and porn performers deserve so much better.

I'm currently more financially stable than ever. It's also not much at all. Enough to choose + buy my own food and clothes. Enough to have savings for a dog's vet expenses and someone to give her 15-minute walks. It's precarious and at the whims of having a really good doctor (she's retiring soon) but it's been nice to not be scared all the time. Lily the dog is my most precious luxury and worth it.

I went a decade only seeing a GP for emergency antibiotics after medical trauma. I had to put on makeup, drink lots of sugar to stay sat upright during the visit and pretend to be weller than I was to not get put in a psych ward because he didn't "believe" in autoimmune illnesses in the young, despite being cleared by a psychiatrist and a weekly psychotherapy session for 3 months. Getting healthcare and getting it paid for has been a mixture of very good luck and a long-term uphill battle (huge amounts of online research).

I'm probably not autistic (the online science tests point towards ADHD, you could probably armchair dx that from a few posts!) but use the term 'on the spectrum' because I've been perceived as autistic since childhood, especially when I'm happy or comfortable. Can't figure out if how I identify internally matters more than how I'm seen. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I'm often assumed to be a lesbian. eh.

I can be easily gaslit so long as it's a very slow boil. But if pushed to think about it, a core self that I've built in the past few years emerges suddenly to give me the rational overview. The clarity of that view is brutal. just brutal. Makes me question everything about myself for a while. I feel like someone trying to walk next to a car blaring 'oonst oonst' music trying to not match the beat in steps but falling into it anyway.

I'm allergic to cats but not exclusively a 'dog person'. Papaye slept just outside the door in a dog transport cage after Christmas while upstairs neighbour was busy. I just think cats are neat, they seem fine with me.

I can't explain why the main hobby ended up being dolls, it just clicks: they're bite sized and candy coloured and cute, there are so many crafting and art options for doll collectors, always loved repair. I feel very lucky to have found such a lovely community and i'm constantly getting into new crafts, new stories and making new acquaintances because it's a place where dolls get to be just one facet for connection.

I'm going to be 41 in april, my fave flower is daffodils, my fave plant is moss, all colours are nice: pastel rainbows and shades of green from lime to teal make me happiest.

'manifesting' is my current bugbear, it's stupid, it's harmful, it's just world theory repackaged, did I mention it's stupid?

I don't like onions and garlic, not unless they're super in the background. I respect the allium lovers and can (and do) put up with the smell daily but really dislike the taste. Same with coffee except that smells amazing.

Emoticons and emojis have made typing more like real language to me, I speak with my hands and accentuate words and even emote at the screen while i'm writing. I don't find it childish, not even gifs or memes, just an extension of language.

I've changed my mind about David Fincher in the past 5 years: brilliant director yes, not great at human stories after all.

If you feel like sharing your own, let this be your prompt. 💜

[bigbraincel]

this is a weird mix of old drama and meta, so if you want to skip the preamble, go to the text under the heading ‘love vs conquest’. the drama: ok so this speculative post about book!daenerys’ fate ended up being way more controversial than i ever expected. i was pretty blindsided by the response. the only reason i made it in the first place is because it was massive cope for the prospect that book!daenerys might end up getting killed off at the end. i got kind of cowed into believing this ending was an inevitability since i had received nothing but sneering derision from reddit bros for even suggesting daenerys might have a different course in the books and live. plus GRRM himself has said the general plot points are the same. etherealdany went on to accuse me of being a biased sansa stan, then even weirder, accused me of shipping sansa/daenerys in order to hide my bias & true “hatred” for daenerys or something. i don't even actively ship them, i just rb’d cute art of them once 🤷‍♀️

anyway, it was pretty much cope, because i thought the idea of dany dying heroically on her own terms to save the fucking world was a lot more palatable than her “going crazy” and getting murdered by her lover. don’t get me wrong, i understand how insulting that is. there’s still the problem of yet another female character dying for Man Pain(tm), the major protagonist of the series no less, but again... i was kinda just trying to come to terms with an ending i really don’t want and see if i could find anything salvageable in it. upon reflection, i shouldn’t accept something just because i became convinced it was inevitable. i still think etherealdany really overreacted and it’s wild that people defended them. imo, even if you think i had a garbage idea, you don’t have to insult my intelligence because of it or search for imaginary resentment i’m apparently harbouring over a fictional character. now, yeah, obviously asoiaf is known as a series where plenty of major characters die, none of them are safe etc. so the idea of her dying isn’t out of the question. but beyond loving daenerys as a character, my main reason for not wanting this ending for dany is fairly simple! it would be narratively unsatisfying -- and not in a good way. let me get into why. love vs conquest imo, the classic “want vs need” conflict for daenerys is her desire for the throne vs her need for love. she wants the throne because she’s been fed stories about targ supremacy/westeros by viserys, but what she really needs is what she’s been lacking her entire life precisely because of viserys’ dream: she needs to be nurtured and loved. despite what the show writers thought, dany doesn’t just want obedience. there’s a reason book!daenerys genuinely tries to make her betrothal & marriage to hizdahr work, while show!daenerys intimidates him by burning men alive in front of him, then only agrees to marry him after he's begged and pleaded on his knees for mercy. at the time, i think the show writers wanted to make this a certified Girl Boss moment because daenerys trying her hardest to be diplomatic just isn’t cool enough (lol), but they later covered their asses by pretending it was foreshadowing, actually, for her eventual ‘madness’. book!daenerys constantly laments how the people around her love her as a queen, not as daenerys. which........... come to think of it, is strikingly similar to sansa’s lamentation she may never find true love..................... they should kiss (joke). she repeatedly draws a clear distinction between the impersonal love of a ruler versus the romantic, passionate love she craves. hell, even after ser jorah forces a kiss on her, she blames herself for not wanting it and tries real hard to think of him as a potential lover. this obviously says a lot about the social dynamics of the world they live in, but i think it also speaks to her deep loneliness. ser barristan loves daenerys as a knight loves his queen, irri has sex with her because it’s what daenerys wants, and daario probably just wants her for her crown. even if his love is true, it’s telling that one of her biggest fears is that it may not be. and in my opinion drogo “loved” her mainly because she would bear the stallion that mounts the world & daenerys understandably has rose tinted glasses on when it comes to their relationship. book!daenerys’ fate: short story is: i think defeating the others will come after the destruction of king’s landing -- the destruction of which will be caused by the mad queen. except “the mad queen” isn’t daenerys, it’s cersei. joncon will also 100000% have a hand in this (and i have thoughts on how this will happen but to stop this from becoming an asoiaf-length post i’m gonna stay vague). so i believe daenerys will unintentionally destroy king’s landing, and in doing so, realise that conquest...... isn’t really... worth it. i think that dovetails pretty nicely with GRRM’s general views & his dramatically ironic twists. of course, her want vs need conflict could still align with the idea i wrote in my original post; daenerys could hear of the nissa nissa prophecy and sacrifice herself with longclaw, ignoring jon’s heartbroken protests, and turn longclaw into lightbringer. then she would die with the knowledge that someone finally truly and honestly loves her for her. tragic and sentimental af, which is in keeping with GRRM’s style.

but even if it happened in a less shitty way than the show, that doesn’t make it any less shitty. how about this instead: if daenerys finds love, realises it’s worth more to her than the throne, and is forever changed by this realisation, wouldn’t it be far more meaningful if she got to live with this drastic change? daenerys being nissa nissa’d would be akin to killing off jaime pretty soon after he had his hand cut off. like, sure, it’s not unthinkable, but wasn’t it a lot more narratively satisfying to read the way this event shook jaime to his core and transformed the trajectory of his life? or maybe a more apt comparison is sandor clegane. as far as we know, the hound is dead and his story is over. but the heavy implication george gives us is that sandor lives and finds peace in the quiet isles after the hound dies. and that’s... far more interesting to me?? the great thing is, it might not even be a stretch to say this will happen. as etherealdany helpfully pointed out, it could be argued that daenerys has already fulfilled the nissa nissa prophecy and lightbringer is drogon. this is a really cool idea and LORD i hope it happens. ultimately, i do still think her story will end in a bittersweet way with her riding off into the sunset on drogon’s back, all while being reviled as “the mad queen” by the masses. which, incidentally, would be a super interesting meta commentary on what the show writers did to her legacy & how people react to powerful women generally. but is george based enough to pull this off? who the fuck knows. i certainly hope so, but i’m not holding my breath.

[carpisuns]

maryssa please post all of your marichat hot takes i need them for health reasons

please handle these absolutely scalding takes with care, miss mcwizzy. dont want u to hurt urself. also there are a lot of them so double warning aljsfasjldf

Carpisuns's Hot Marichat Takes That No One Asked For

omg WAIT.... for once someone actually DID ask for them SLKJFDJ ok scratch that

Carpisuns's Super Hot Marichat Takes That, Surprisingly, Someone Did Actually Ask For!! (And Will Probably Regret Asking for as Soon as They Click the Read More djdjdkdm)

marichat tropes are not any more tired/cringey than tropes for any other side of the square. like, what is the real difference between “princess” and “my lady” or a balcony date and a rooftop date lol. they’re all cute and also all have the potential to be overdone fjlaksdlj

the bell is immovable :) zipper is just for show

“chat noir” and “marinette” are not their “true selves.” and “adrien” and “ladybug” are not false/inauthentic versions of themselves. they are themselves all the time, but like any human their behavior changes depending on the situation. there isn’t like a separate list of “chat noir” traits and “adrien” traits or “marinette” traits and “ladybug” traits—all of their traits belong to them at all times whether they are suited up or not, and they are more than just the sum of their parts. they tend to be pretty comfortable interacting as marichat NOT because “they can finally show the real them” but because they both already know each other in another dynamic and there are no crushes or past rejections adding any pressure or uneasiness

marichat is not inherently sexist. yes, adrien wants to protect marinette, but that's not sexism; that's called being a caring friend. and marinette giving comfort to chat noir is not automatically playing into sexist gender roles. that is also being a caring friend. like in any good relationship, there is a healthy give and take. they protect and support and comfort each other. this how it is on all the sides which is why the love square is so great!

on a related note, there is no unhealthy power dynamic between marinette and chat noir. he doesn't think he's better than her because he's a superhero and she's "just a civilian"; he values her intelligence, creativity, skill, talent, strength, and leadership and would never consider her weak or look down on her in any way. and i wouldn’t really consider either of them the “leader” in this dynamic. outside of an active akuma situation they’re on pretty equal ground and i mean what is the power dynamic of two friends chillin’ lol

they take turns being the big/little spoon C:

marinette is not mad that chat likes her as “perfect ladybug” and not as “weak, clumsy marinette.” she has moments of insecurity when she is stressed but in general she has a pretty strong self-esteem and does not seek out or depend on chat noir’s affection for validation

stanning marichat does not mean hating ladrien!! ladrien is a dang good ship and if u don’t like it it then there is something sadly lacking in your understanding/appreciation of the love square—including marichat. also you are depriving yourself of something truly wonderful :(((

same if u hate marichat. most people have a favorite side of the square and that’s a-okay! but i fail to see how you can be a love square stan or a stan of any one side if you don’t enjoy and support all the other sides as well ??

ok but seriously for the love of everything please stop commenting on ladrien fics/art just to say “ladrien sucks, marichat supremacy!!1!!” -_- fun fact that actually makes everyone hate marichat/marichat stans lol and as a marichat stan myself i find the association with that toxicity very exhausting and frustrating !!

marichat is a slowburn friends-to-lovers ship. so if there is no slowburn or u skip friends and go straight to lovers then that is a different dynamic than what is presented in the show. i mean you can call it marichat because it still involves marinette and chat noir but i would not consider it like Official Brand™️ marichat tbh. i don’t wanna sound gatekeepery but also. that is my hot take lol

they’re not sexy,, they’re just very stupid and soft. i am continually confused and frustrated by the fact that marichat is still branded the Sin Ship™️ when canonically they could barely look each other in the eye after doing the traditional cheek kiss greeting lmao

yes there is Bad marichat out there that plays into the things i talked about above but there is also a lot of Good marichat and it is really not that hard to find. so when people say “i like canon marichat but i hate fanon marichat” i just like. don’t really know what that means? lol. like, you hate...all fan-created marichat content ? i assume you just dislike the Sin Ship and the true selves trope and whatnot but there is a lot more than that ?? and it’s sad to see it all get lumped together with the not-so-great stuff and branded Bad Fanon: Do Not Eat lol

marichat cannot exist in isolation. its very existence depends on being part of the square. this might seem like a weird thing to state explicitly but i’ve seen people get mad that there was too much adrienette/ladynoir in a marichat fic and that it wasn’t really “marichat” and i mean….what? lol. because it’s a civilian/hero combo, you have to show how it affects ladynoir and adrienette. u cant just have marichat be dating and then pretend like the other sides of the square don’t exist ? flsjadjk

totally platonic marichat....godly

romantic marichat developed from platonic marichat.....also godly

they would eat dirt and it would be weirdly cute and i have proof

even if marinette and chat noir fell for each other, they'd never just forget OG crush over even fully "get over" them imo. adrien and ladybug will always hold a special place in their heart and they will always love them in some way!

there’s no such thing as post-reveal marichat. if they know each other’s identities then the dynamic has changed and the square has all been absorbed into like Adrienette 2.0 lol

and for the hottest take of all:

marichat good

thank you for your time. please take a goodie bag on the way out

[shirophantomvox]

Random date night with Illumi, Hisoka, and Chrollo

Hello, anon! Ask and you shall receive! This prompt is very interesting and I will try to keep it in character as much as possible. To sum this up, Hisoka would take you to an ice cream shop, a carnival, or apple orchard while Illumi would rather go to an art or historical museum. Chrollo would persuade you to attend a book reading/author signing or go hiking. Depending on who you are and what your ideal date is, I’m sure you’d find them all fun. Going to a carnival or apple orchard is my go-to since I’ve barely been because they’re all in the suburbs. These headcanons are explained much more than the others. That is why Chrollo and Illumi seem to be short, but they’re not. Also, I can’t wait for Halloween because these headcanons are going to be amazing. I am extremely sorry if there are grammar errors! Taking classes on Zoom is frustrating and now my brain has to relearn everything that I lost in 3 months! Before we get started, I have a few announcements.

This post is more laid back than my other headcanons because I tried to keep it as canon as possible.

I want to thank you all for 65 followers! It means a lot! I’m happy to see that a lot of you enjoy my writing and like it enough to follow me! I have a challenge for you! When I reach 100 followers, I will host some type of writing event here...but I need ideas. I’ve seen some pages do specials where you can send an ask and pretend like you're talking to a character and I respond with what they’d say. SEND ME IDEAS! I WILL CREDIT YOU!

I will be stepping back a little more than before. I’ll still be logged in and re-blogging but as far as writing posts like this...it may only be once or twice a week. You see, I’m in college and I’m struggling financially and I have to work on scholarships. If you all send me an ask, be patient.

Voltron posts will only be created based on asks. I will not be writing posts about VLD if no one requests them. I do not receive any feedback from it anymore and no one seems to like them.

Now, let’s get into the post.

Let's start with Illumi first.

Headcanon 1: Illumi has a secret admiration for different types of art but he specifically enjoys pop art and surrealism. He has commented on how surrealism makes his brain twist and his feelings swirl as he tries to figure out the piece and what inspires it.

He prefers not to participate in tours as he likes to digest the art at his own pace.

Headcanon 2: In his spare time, he paints on a canvas. His art style consists of both surrealism and abstract art. For a person with a dark personality, his compositions always contain bright colors and abstract techniques that leave you wondering about his TRUE personality. He is truly a good man with a bright personality but after being abused for so long, those behaviors/personalities have been shoved so far down his throat that they may not come back up.

He has a bad habit of asking you what you thought about every single piece of art you passed. The conversations were great but this is a date after all. The playful conversation slowly turns into a lecture about art. Although you loved your bf’s dictionary-like brain it also drained your energy.

One of his favorite artists is Vincent Van Gough. Although he favors surrealism, Van Gogh’s art style was mind-blowing to him. So amazed that he buys several Van Gogh t-shirts from the gift shop.

His favorite piece created by Van Gough is “Starry Night”.

He notices that you are becoming bored and decides that it is time for MORE excitement, one that you are certain to enjoy.

“Where are we going,” you ask, pretending to be interested.

“Down to the basement. We are going to have a bite to eat.”

Since Illumi rarely smiled, when he did smile it drove you wild. The anticipation of what his next move was going to be is what drove that wildness. Being a bounty hunter was thrilling already but dating a smart, badass assassin was totally out of your league but it worked out.

Headcanon 3: Illumi’s idea of being romantic is dramatically different from yours. He believes just spending time with you on the couch was enough. He is correct; but if you have the time and funds, your time together should be a little spontaneous. You insisted on dates outside of the house because his family will not stay out of your business.

“Illumi, I am too hungry for more trivia.”

He chuckles. “Don’t worry. So am I. That is why I’ve decided to take you to a wine and cheese party.”

Huh? Wine and Cheese at 3PM? That’s ok. When was there a time limit on when you can drink alcohol?

Illumi has indirectly attended parties as such when he was 15 years old. He never drank, but he watched as his mother’s friends (surprisingly) talked about business and their children. This time, you weren’t going to talk about business for once. Instead, you two were going to actually talk about what couples discuss.

Headcanon 4: When introduced to alcohol for the first time, Illumi immediately stated how he hated brown liquor. That includes Hennessy, Jack Daniels, etc. It makes him sick to his stomach. He prefers to drink Smirnoff mixed with fruity drinks like strawberry or pineapple.

He loves it when you make these drinks for him on a summer day.

Hence the title wine and cheese, you both go to a stand-up table, place your brochures down, and actually have a wonderful conversation not involving work or hunting.

Illumi smiled a few times, more than usual. Whenever he appears to be softer even around you, that is because he has mellowed out and doesn't have the overbearing weight of his family on his shoulders. You set him free.

Hisoka

According to a one-shot that another manga artist created, they expressed that Hisoka was found on the side of the road, was taken in by someone that worked at a local circus, and learned Nen in a matter of days. Hisoka’s clown look and having the skills of a magician proves that this has to be canon in some way.

Headcanon 1: Given this potential backstory, going to a carnival is his go-to every summer. He wants to take you to a circus but saves that for you as an engagement gift.

Everyone with a heart knows that whether or not you’re in a relationship or not the carnival is fun as hell! Expensive fried food, elephant ears, funnel cake, ICEE’s, rides, and stuffed animals are to die for!

Being at a carnival relaxes him so his bloodlust isn’t activated unless someone bumps into him and causes a scene.

Headcanon 2: PDA is something that Hisoka does well; he doesn’t overdo it but does it enough where people get the impression that you are a couple and aren’t “best friends”.

While completing a mission depending on how rough it may be, he insists that you tag along to see how he handles the situation. You’ve already seen his ruthlessness from Hunter’s exam but he insists.

His sense of pride gets the best of him sometimes. Sometimes his head is so big that it reminds you of a large birthday balloon.

Headcanon 3: ANYWAY, given his nature, he is very adventurous, dangerous, and courageous. If he wants to go on the Demon Drop, he’ll do it and you DO not have a choice in the matter. He’ll tease or guilt trip you into doing something that you would not like to do.

“Well, you wouldn’t want me to cling on to someone else, would you?”

“No. Of course not,” you reply.

“Let’s go then, scaredy-cat.”

As a hunter, you’ve seen worse. Why are you so afraid to go on a ride?

Headcanon 4: At apple orchards, cornfield mazes are one of his favorites. You cannot for the life of you figure out how to get out but he can. He grabs a scarecrow and scares you from behind. That annoys you but is nothing compared to later on that night.

Oh. My. God. It’s haunted house time!

“Hisoka, I’m not going in!”

“Why not? I’ll protect you.”

“Because they’re monsters and I already have to deal with one.”

It took him a second to catch on that you were talking about him.

“That’s going to bite you in the butt, kitten.”

Headcanon 5: Like Killua, Hisoka has a sweet tooth. Don’t allow his buff appearance to fool you!

He LOVES caramel apples, elephant ears, funnel cake, freshly squeezed lemonade, fudge, and cotton candy. How can this man manage to stay in shape? The world may never know.

Headcanon 6: He isn’t one to play by other people’s rules but he sets his own rules with your relationship that you both must obey. One of those rules says that neither of you can be on your phones while together.

Headcanon 7: Hisoka insists that you both wear either matching pants or matching shirts to avoid unnecessary flirtation.

He isn’t jealous but on “us time”, he doesn’t want to lose a single second.

Headcanon 8: Hisoka only jumps in when necessary. Given that you’ve passed the hunter’s exam and work as a bodyguard, he knows you can handle your business. If the person can’t take a hint, then he steps in. They almost back up immediately considering Hisoka is towering over them.

When the moon shines, you both go to the car and off to sleep in your comfy king-sized bed.

Chrollo

We all know that Chrollo loves to read! What does he specifically like to read? What Genre? Does he like to read alone or with other people?

Although Chrollo is a thief and must be hidden in the shadows, the authorities have called off the search for him for at least 3 years. Slowly but surely, he begins to find himself in the outside world again.

Chrollo once discussed a book with the Phantom Troupe when they were being transported to another place for a mission. He read “Tears of a Tiger” by Sharon M. Draper.

The reading sessions are opened with an affirmation and a reason to be thankful to be alive. He says he is thankful for the troupe, glances at you, and smiles. No one catches on to that sly face except for Phinks.

Headcanon 1: Chrollo is very silent and shy to an extent. He only associates with people he knows and trusts. You are the social butterfly at this moment.

Chrollo tags along behind you like a shy child, holding your hand while you stick out your free hand to greet everyone.

Today, the book club was going to read “Divergent”.

Headcanon 2: Although he loves to read, he hates it when others read out loud. Most people are drably read and it annoys him. After a while, he takes over. Chrollo was tense the first 30 minutes of the meeting because two cops were there but neither of them noticed it was him.

Headcanon 3: Chrollo often acts the part of the character that he is reading in the book. His tone, attitude, and emphasis on certain words keep the group engaged. He is complimented on his acting!

“Good Job, honey,” you whisper.

He responds by tightly squeezing your hand.

His tone was so impressive that the host insisted that he read for the entire night. He was ok with that because in between reads he was often distracted by a lovely pair of jeans and shoes you had on. You were into writing, so hearing others read and act out the characters helped.

Headcanon 4: In some settings, Chrollo is very braggadocious. He insisted that the group read one of your stories so you could be provided with feedback.

“We’d be delighted to view your story, y/n!”

“It will be fun!”

The book club wasn’t a stereotypical club that only consisted of soccer moms but instead consisted of men and women who were involved with a business, law enforcement, health, etc. This was an open space for everyone to relax and forget about their demanding jobs.

After the meeting, the group went to dinner at a nearby pizzeria. You all enjoyed large pizzas, beer, salads, and dessert. How could your stomach (or anyone’s stomach) hold that much?

Chrollo laughed so much that it made you question if he was your actual boyfriend or not. He even engaged in conversations with the two off-duty cops! For once, you helped Chrollo experience the greater things in life; true love, friendship, and happiness.

“Thank you,” he whispered and slyly placed a kiss on your hand. “For everything.”

[howlinchickhowl]

2021 Fic Year in Review

@captainjowl tagged me this morning, and also @squidyyy23 ​ a little while ago threw my hat in the ring, sorry squid - I know I’ve seen your name somewhere but also there is some real joy in calling you squid I hope you don’t mind - I’m working my way through my mentions! 

So, without any further ado, let’s review... (you took a rumour a few, maybe two people knew etc etc I’m a nerd ok let’s all turn our eyes away and pretend we do not see it)

Total Number Of Completed Works:

5 on a03 + 3 little tumblr only ficadees

Total Word Count:

60,926

Fandoms I’ve Written In:

Shameless (US)

Looking Back, Did You Write More Fic Than You Thought You Would This Year, Less, Or About What You’d Expected?:

I started the year expecting to write no fic, so, on balance I’d say a lot more.

What’s Your Own Favorite Story Of The Year?:

This is tough! I love them all in their own way. The other day I reread Love, Like a River and I actually really like that one. It changes day to day, but today it is maybe that.

Did You Take Any Writing Risks This Year?:

Posting a WIP, what if I run out of steam?? (I have no plans to, but what if, you know?) 

And also I feel like gunpowder onto liquor was something of a risk for me, it was kind of experimental and florrid, had no like, purpose? really? was based off a spoken word poem, was formatted like a 19 chapter behemoth despite being really just a decent sized one-shot. I don’t know entirely what I was thinking, but it was one of those projects that just took me over and demanded to be written that way. If I was more skilled in the visual arts I would love one day to make some kind of multi-media version of it, but I think that might be one that just lives in my brain. 

Do You Have Any Fanfic Or Profic Goals For The New Year?:

Finish Ristretto, that’s project number 1! And then I have a few ideas in my little planning doc that I would like to hope I can do in this next year, but time doth fly. 

Most Popular Story Of The Year?:

Difficult to know what metric to use, but if we go by hits-per-unit on ao3 (because multi-chaps have naturally more hits because people are coming back to read the next chapters) it is far and away Song of the Hearth. And that is also the one that I have seen people recommend out in the wild so I think that is probably right.

Story Of Mine Most Under-Appreciated By The Universe, In My Opinion:

idk I think I’m pretty fortunate in the amount of appreciation my work gets shown. Maybe Found Wanting, but it was my first shameless fic while I was still getting my bearings and before I knew anyone, so it makes sense for it to be the least read/kudosed/whatever. And I haven’t read it in a while so maybe it’s no good! 🤷🏻‍♀️

Most Fun Story To Write:

I am really having fun writing Ristretto. I love silly flirty idiot boys and I am giving myself plenty of opportunities to write that shit right now. Also 13 mugshots[...] was a lot of fun, I remember feeling very dumb and gleeful while I was writing that. 

Most Unintentionally Telling Story:

I don’t know if I’m self-aware enough to know. You tell me?

Biggest Disappointment:

Missing self-imposed deadlines, even though I know in the grand scheme it doesn’t matter at all, it bothers me to lose a goal. 

Biggest Surprise:

How I apparently write fluff and happy stuff now? I haven’t written for fandom in a long while and in previous incarnations I have always considered myself a glutton for punishment. I’ve never been into angst necessarily, or at least not angst conjured solely for the fic, but the beauty of anguish has always appealed to me and characters who suffer have always been like magnets to me. So to show up at Shameless which is so ripe with opportunities to luxuriate in agony and then just, roll around in the marshmallows instead, that was a shock for sure! 

My Favorite Part Of Fandom This Year:

Being in it! I haven’t actively participated in a fandom for about 6 years and it has been such a joy to jump back in and get involved again, get to know people, make new friends! And we’ve all said it many times but this corner of the internet is such a haven of friendliness and openness and supportiveness and joy. I have loved going from total newbie happy to be noticed by even a couple of people to established clown ushering in the new wave as they arrive. I have loved watching new writers/creators shy about sharing their work being bolstered and enouraged and gaining confidence and finding their voices. I have loved watching people jump onto ideas offered by others and collaborating together to create something (this is an aspect of fandom I have only really seen here, the ease with which people just start vibing together, the complete willingness to share ideas and ‘yes, AND’ the post, elsewhere I find people are quite territorial about their ideas and their ‘things’, here it’s just like, yes, join me in my madness. I am begging you! So yeah, my favourite part is all of it. I don’t care if that’s cheating. 

Once again, this was going around when I wasn’t here a lot so I don’t know if you have done it already, but I would love to hear from @catgrassplantdad @sunoficarus @iansfreckles @unbridgeabledistances about their year of fic writing 🙃

[agent-cupcake]

just curious, what’s your favorite and least favorite character design? my least fav for sure has got to be female byleth for reasons i don’t want to get in to yep ok have a good day 😁

IOops this accidentally became a rant, sorry

Okay so, to preface this all, I’m not a character designer and I’m actually pretty bad at it, but my rule of thumb with really unappealing or fan-service outfits is whether or not it makes sense character-wise and how much it tells the player about the character. For example, I think we can all agree that there’s quite a bit of fan-service elements in Hilda’s design. Boob window. However, it’s not unrealistic to imagine Hilda picking out those clothes for herself. Her costume tells you almost everything you need to know about her character on a visual level. She’s confident, pretty, attention-grabbing, and high maintenance while the gloves and laced girdle give a nod to her Viking-maiden roots.

Taking it to female Byleth, I don’t think that her outfit works on either front. Her design is definitely my least favorite and it’s not helped by the fact that you have to look at her at all times. Whatever. The huge, solid mass of boobs, the buttoned bib, the big eyes, the feather hair, the bellybutton, the ripped tights, the booty shorts. She’s a merc out in life and death situations with an accessible, pale, tacky 2000′s “stab me” stomach cut out and a wedgie. Which could be excusable if, like Hilda, there was reason to believe that that her costume was character choice. But she doesn’t really have much character, and what there is gives the impression of a very stoic, dry, blunt person. I have no idea why they’d have gone that route when the sexual appeal of more “utilitarian” costuming (aka, form fitting armor that at least pretends to be functional) for characters like her is scientifically proven AND would say more about the singular personality trait she possesses. Okay, well, I know why they didn’t do that and I think it’s lame. This dysfunction of “character designer wanted a sexy girl but it’s kinda random and just shoved in the game without any thought” actually reminds me a lot of Xenoblade 2′s leading ladies, Hikari and Pyra. Although considering that their bad designs led to a lot of people hating the game for superficial reasons while accepting female Byleth’s design, I guess I’m just bitter. Jumping to a different comparison, then, look at 2B from Nier Automata. Her design is fine as hell which is kinda hypocritical of me considering that it's explicitly fan-service, but I think it also shows the most damning thing for female Byleth. Her whole look, despite having a dozen different element thrown in, is boring. Maybe it’s the colors (dressing her in all black and white would have been really interesting considering the colors of the three lords are so heavily emphasized as a part of their characters) or maybe it’s just the way the desperate elements come together. But, like I said, I'm not even slightly knowledgeable about character design and I know that despite Three Houses being mostly separate, they had to appeal to a larger aesthetic brand to which I have little experience with. And, ultimately, a lot of people find her cute or sexy which...To each their own, I suppose. I don’t pretend that fan-service doesn’t work on me (2B... Cloud’s arms in the remake... Seph's shirtless Smash skin...) but when it’s this obviously inserted in by the character designers rather than feeling organic in any way AND looks bad I'm just not super interested.

The other worst designs for me would be all four of the Ashen Wolves post timeskip. I don't think it's controversial to say that they didn't try with the clothes, even if I love their designs from the neck up (Yes, even Balthus. He looks like the type of guy that would let you sit on his shoulders at a rock concert so you could see the stage). While there are other designs I think are unappealing, those are for purely aesthetic reasons and so I can't maintain the opinion that they're actively bad or that I even truly dislike them.

As for favorite looks... I actually have a few so sorry you're getting all of them because despite the shit I'm talking, I actually really really love the character designs in Three Houses. 

Ferdinand's post timeskip is one of my favorite designs, if not my favorite. The hair, the coat, the armor, the spurs, the colors. You know exactly who Ferdinand von Aegir is just by looking at him. He’s wealthy, handsome, confident in his appearance, a hero, a princely type character, his battle form is mounted combat which is traditionally aesthetically reserved for nobility and leaders... I love it. The only reason I cannot say he IS my favorite is because of the three Lords. But before them, my honorable mentions include post timeskip Hilda, Dorothea, Lorenz, Felix, and Hubert. Granted, I could make a case for why I like almost all of the student’s post timeskip looks.

For the Lords, I obviously have to start with colors because, weirdly enough, Persona didn’t invent primary colors but are actually used as shorthand. Blue is the color of honor, loyalty, sincerity, sadness, and depression. Something I’ve always found very interesting is that blue is very rarely found in nature. To me, that’s always made it seem more lonely which, at least in this case, is thematically relevant. People call Dimitri boring pre timeskip and while I won’t defend his hairstyle (okay, actually, I probably would because he tucks it behind his ears and idk why but that’s one of the cutest things ever) I really like how unassuming he is. Bland. He’s supposed to be the plain shortbread cookie to caramel deLite Claude and strawberry meringue Edelgard. It is not in his character to draw attention to himself or stand out. To me, he kinda looks like an old Barbie prince, like he should have been named Dominic. Also I love the blue eyes/blonde hair thing and his more angular features. It really helps to sell him as the fakeout chivalrous prince type. Post timeskip, Dimitri's black armor is amazing. I love the fact that it’s a lot more intricate up-close with the different little shell-like pieces and the fact that his boots are furry. I love the big cape and the black and white fur around his shoulders. It’s really cool how they used his costume to change the shape of his in-game model to match the bodily proportions of the character art. It’s easier to see when you change his costume into the DLC ones, but the fur and cape build up his shoulders and chest look more broad while keeping that tiny little waist. The choice to give Dimitri an eyepatch is probably my favorite thing about this design. It’s genuinely inspired. Such a simple detail yet it tells the player everything they need to know about adult Dimitri when they see him post timeskip, in one frame the player can begin to understand the extent of his loss over the past five years. The subtle shadow under his eye in the first few Azure Moon chapters and the messy long-ish hair really help to sell the feral prince aesthetic as well, as it’s from those small cues the player gets that he’s exhausted (in more ways than one) and doesn’t maintain himself. None of these things are intentional choices by Dimtiri, they’re the result of what his character has been through.

Yellow is an intense, energetic color. Mostly, people think of it as being warm and inviting, the color of the sun and positivity. That intensity can be overwhelming, though, too visually demanding when compared to its primary counterparts. Don’t stare at the sun too long. Buuuut, it’s okay to stare at Claude. Claude not wanting to wear tight pants in either of his costumes is not only a mood, it is iconic. Pre timeskip, the softer lines of his silhouette makes him look kinda slouchy, kinda lazy. Like he’s not too concerned with appearances. But those adorably messy curls, the little braid, the clearly tended eyebrows, and earring make it clear that he DOES care about appearances and is very aware of his allure. And that’s before he even starts winking. It is honestly so in character that as many people picked him first on the basis of being thirsty, that feels like an intentionally Claude thing even if it was inserted by the designers. The contrast of his complexion with his seagreen eyes is gorgeous and instantly adds a kind of mystery and intrigue to him considering the setting... but it’s sf funny that nobody looked at bronze god Claude among a sea of white faces and thought something was up. Post timeskip, they used the same trick like they did with Dimitri to change Claude’s in-game model to match his canon appearance. The way they designed his uniform makes him not look as twink-ish, like he’s actually muscular and imposing and has the strength he’d need to shoot a war bow with a 120lbs draw weight. Also like Dimitri, you can instantly tell what Claude’s been up to. Like, he was very pretty pre timeskip but when he shows up in the Goddess Tower after those five years in all that gold, he demands your attention. Like a gentleman general with the excessive aesthetic ideals of the Alliance and details to imply his heritage. The quilted pants are amazing from both an aesthetic and practical standpoint. He’s a mounted unit riding a creature with scales, of course he’d want something on his legs for protection. And the chinstrap. I love that so much, it definitely makes him look more adult. He’s got such a cute soft baby face, it’s fun imagining him experimenting with different styles during the five years to get the most desired physical reaction to him as a leader. 

Frenchfries, meet forehead. No, actually, Edelgard’s design is really fantastic. Claude and Dimitri both have realistically colored eyes and hair and then there’s Edelgard. Dimitri shrugs off attention physically and Claude shirks it with a wink but Edelgard commands the players attention from the very start. Although I’m sure there’s a lot of things to associate with white hair and purple eyes, my first thought was Daenerys from Game of Thrones. Otherworldly beautiful by with an edge. Red, of course, is The power color. Strong emotions, love and hate. Red is also associated strongly with blood, which is very important to Edelgard’s plot. Granted, I think the red and black association is even more powerful than JUST red and red is the cheapest play to make in regards to displaying villainy (I mean, there are some pretty universally recognized associations with red and black and it led to people making some unfair comparisons between Edelgard and a famous dictator) but I think it was effective and well used and I genuinely enjoy its use in her case. Anyway, if I had a major complaint about her design it would be the weird ashy color of her hair whereas Lysithea’s hair is pure white. Which doesn’t even matter with the AMAZING hair horns. Ram horns can actually symbolize quite a few things, but their association with power and strength is pretty universal I think. They’re also used in demonic imagery. I love that THIS was her alternative to a crown. Edelgard views herself as a force of war and power before she thinks of herself as royalty. She also mentions that she isn’t super vain, but she loves to do her hair, so the hair being the most elaborate part of her look is entirely in-character. Edelgard’s ensemble is, like Claude, very militaristic. I love that they kept her in a dress that embraces femininity without showing skin as that wouldn’t really suit her Also, again, Edelgard demands your attention. She’s dressed all in bright bright red waving around a giant axe. She is a symbol as much as she is a combatant, someone to follow. I didn’t really mention their secondary lord costumes, but a girl in sexy armor is literally everything and I love that they had the balls to put their main sexy waifu girl in full body armor.

Okay I’m sorry I realize this was excessive and probably didn’t need explaining and I’m not sure I even articulated my thoughts properly but anyway I love their designs so here is the positivity I’ll put into the world.

[topconfessions]

T.O.P.. I don't think he loves his fans as much and he claims to.He pretty much mocks and dissses them with his posts.

I have a workmate who reminds me a lot of him.

She is into the same things as he is. I almost envy her. She studies wine, likes art , collects sneakers, and grew up in the 90's with the "old school" hiphop influence.

I convinced her to listen to doom dada and she said it has become one of her favorite songs, even tho the kpop industry fuckery and delulus appals her.

She said something like " how can someone who sounds so sophisticated and uses Basquiat and pinot noir references in the song plus Kubrick, zoe trope, Dali, and Tarantino in the music video expect delulus to understand it? Isn't he targeting the wrong people? Doesn't he get frustrated? I would."

Ok, delulu is a strong word, but let's level, most of comments are about his looks and love declarations. The fans, they must be young.

That got me thinking. Is he frustrated? Hence the instagram bipolar shit posting and quickly deleting and posting again and deleting again Is it because he gets frustrated and somewhat angry? I mean, the guy gives his fans absolutely NOTHING. I am surprised people still follow him tbh. He makes me feel like a clown, humiliated.

I am always angry at myself, why did I expect more?

Maybe he is going thru a transition. He is afraid that he won't have same the amount of supporters ad he has now when he finally make the move from BB's T.O.P into his trueself. But then again, does he want the same kind of fans?

On a different note:

Is TOP really back with lynnkmm? What's her real name anyways? Who is she, what does she do?

I think it's such a waste. Why does it feel like he only dates empty minded women who do not have their own personality, they just copy whatever he does. Why can't he be with someone on his level and would defy him in a healthy way. You know what I mean? Does he lack that much self confidence?

You've summed up everything I've ever been saying about TOP from the start. And you've perfectly summed up everything that pissed the butthurt loser trolls off who expressed their lunacy and downright mental detriment with their huffs on here about "ageism" taking everything about this man personally as if it's a slight against them - when in reality from what your art enthusiast friend has described, it shines a light on the fact that TOP would not want to realistically spend time with the average fan let alone fans who pretend to be into his interests as he can spot a poser a mile away in terms of his hardcore dedication to the arts industry.

Top IS frustrated. Greatly frustrated and it shows. That probably is the answer and sums it all up cause I can't think of any other valid reason minus severe mental illness and issues he hasn't seemed therapy for, as an explanation as to why his behavior is so erratic. And I'm not here for the kids enabling him through toxic positivity and saying he's 4D and happy. When he clearly showed on that IG live melt down when he looked a mess that he wasn't okay and said himself he was over Korea.

I agree with your friend. His work and artistry is targeted the wrong audience completely and this is why he wanted out of YG entertainment among other reasons. His work is beyond the understanding of the average teenager, young 20 something or kid. At the same time though to some small fraction TOP brought this upon himself by becoming too comfortable and content in bigbang by remaining an active member, as long as going along with GD's " we don't need America we're good right here" POV. He unintentionally screwed up everything by not leaving when he was venturing into acting during Tazza 2 era. I vividly remember a lot of the fandom easily accepting the rumors of him leaving then and we were all pretty much ready and bittersweet-ly okay with letting him go so he could become a fill fledged actor as well as continue Sotheby's. Art auction work. Also Sothebys is a highly esteemed Art Auction company also Realty and other services. He is on good terms with them and works with them still but could have did so much more and rose in the ranks if he applied himself. He stayed comfortable and I've literally heard the biggest names in the business and CEO game like Mark Cuban who is always on Shark Tank & owned sports teams say that in order to be successful you need to be comfortable with being uncomfortable and take risks.

Hes not a risk taker by intention he's a risk taker unintentionally with the mistakes he makes minus risks in his creative direction i.e doom dada. He should have went independent and left the company & group altogether after Tazza was released then either venture into America for tours marketed to a certain crowd or festivals that is not for the average mainstream community. Or be like Paris Jackson and have her music reach niche audience.

It's been clear TOP is probably angry and disappointed inside that minus his love for the group, his music will never be directly consumed and understood the way niche persons like your friend or us understand it.

Tell your friend he fails to understand that all of these gripes because he himself is trying to overcome mental health issues and stress on top of depression. So it isn't 100% apparent to him that the average fans won't get his message cause he himself is very youthful at heart, the group has always said he's a like a grown kid and the most sensitive despite being the oldest.

I just...idk. Sometimes in life you have to know when to walk away from things cause time is everything and timing matters. If the rock would have stayed in WWE for like 3 more years or 5 more he wouldn't be what he is and John Cena as a result wouldn't be what he is cause they wouldn't have had a big need for a replacement star in WWE minus Stone Cold leaving. Just an example. You have to know when to stay and when to leave. Now TOP is leaving when it doesn't matter anymore and leaving in a backwards time where the group has came together for a single yet we are being treated like childern and supposed to blindly jump for joy & believe this isn't a goodbye song or a bone thrown to us so they can stop promoting together for another 5 years. Which they will be close to 40.

I get the sense TOP wasn't physically ready or believed he was fully capable of making it on his own fully without a management company i.e YG and the GROUP as back up. Just my theory and opinion. And YES! his comments are always flooded with redundant mind numbing love spam, foreign fans who are blissfully clueless and sharing love (nothing wrong with that at all) and just a lot of praise or some occasional questions. At some point although I'm glad he has love it looks like a robot spam. It looks like legions of repeating statements and spam with no real thought process behind it. Look at American stars comments. Sure its messy but you'll find love in it and varying opinions, some criticisms, some love with shade peppered in and maybe some fans wars with a troll or shady person. It's a lot of variety in the posts then with people like Beyonce it's similar to TOP but you can still sense a flow of realistic comments and the genuine care from her fans.

I believe TOP clearly sees this and he feels numb to it. Like he appreciates it on surface level but it means nothing to him overall. Which is why he can easily respond to hate comments or comments he doesn't like quicker than love comments he NEVER Acknowledges. I've seen in the past during the first years of him joining that he would reply to a random comment of fans but now he doesn't really do. It's to people he knows like most celebs. He treats his most valuable resource aka his fans poorly but the fans will never see this. They never will and it's sad.

Too much adoration especially if it's done in this way can be harmful cause its not offering a concrete genuine support. He just sees another flood of the same old same old.

And as for the Lynnkmm situation she's a wealth off girl he met through connections. Nothing more or less. A lot of guys in the industry American and overseas do this. Date hollow girls who are beneath them especially mentally cause it keeps them in control, keeps them in the lead, they don't have to think or bend much, it serves them and if TOP dated a woman his age in his league it would be too much for him. He would have to really be present and take accountability and be on better behavior. Younger girls will and can give guys like TOP hell especially due to immaturity or brattiness but it's a smoother ride with them plus it's easier to transition through break ups with them emotionally to some degree.

Its a lot I can't sum up into 1 explanation. It's no different than Leo DiCaprio or Zac Efron dating girls like that. And with TOP of course he's dating girls who drop everything for him or pretend to take on his lifestyle. Women on his level 9 times out of 10 won't do that. Only seasoned athletes manage this well (not the cheaters*) Singers and Actors don't manage this well.

Eventually we'll probably hear of him dating some actress or woman in the higher arts industry in the future. But that's it.

Glad someone feels the same way I do. P.S I won't respond to any counter remarks. None of our words about TOP matter in the grand scheme cause he's unreachable and he's untouchable.

[meichenxi]

Obsession, ‘productivity’ and habits vs routines: starting learning in a healthier way

cw: perfectionism, obsessiveness, allusion to eating disorders, depression, anxiety (very non-explicit) I’m going to be writing a series of posts from some asks I’ve had waiting for me, on how to build a cohesive language learning routine, but I wanted to preface that first with something we talk about less than we should in the language learning community: obsessiveness, perfectionism, recovery from mental health, and how to approach language learning in a better way. If the personal stuff bores you, feel free to skip the first two paragraphs. 

I have been trying to ‘be more productive’ - in healthy ways, and unhealthy ways - since I was about ten. If you don’t fit in, for whatever reason, hobbies - and especially creative or ‘productive’ ones - are a wonderful escape. They make you feel that it’s ok not to have friends; they let you look down on all those other stupid children with all the misplaced arrogance of every single bored, clever pre-teen. When I was twelve, I realised there was no point eating with people that didn’t like me and went to the library instead, because that was ‘dead time’. When I was fourteen, I realised getting the bus was ‘dead time’, and started doing Anki for two hours a day. When I was sixteen, I realised walking was ‘dead time’, and started either listening to podcasts or talking out loud. By the time I was eighteen, I was doing four A-levels in school, an EPQ, teaching myself an extra Latin GCSE, and taught myself the Spanish A-level in 3 months right before the exam. I also worked out for two hours a day - because eating lunch was ‘dead time’, and sleeping was ‘dead time’ - trained martial arts four evenings a week, tutored twice a week, had a part-time job as a waitress, played the flute in a prestigious orchestra, and was 150,000 words deep in the first draft of a very gay, Norse-mythology inspired fantasy novel. 

I had it all under control. My marks were excellent; I was a well-rounded person, musical and sporty and already decently on the way to becoming a polyglot, I was training to be a teacher, and I had plans to publish my novel. My home life was painful, but I was painfully independent with what I now like to call the ‘Elsa complex’. Or, actually, like Zuko: I could look after myself, by myself. It was all under control. 

I guess everyone can see where this is going. School ended, and with it came endless, open days. I fell apart. 

With endless surprise, I can now say that, four years later, I think I’ve come through the worst of it. I still have tendencies to get obsessive, but my anxiety and perfectionism are a lot better, I don’t dissociate, and I have - gasp! shock! - actual interest in life again. I never wrote that novel, but I’m still gay and still love Norse mythology, so I’m slowly finding my way towards writing again. What people don’t tell you about getting better, though, is that trying to define yourself, trying to find yourself, as a person who exists without mental illness, is very, very hard. Many of the things that you used to identify as core components of your personality or important values may have changed, and you may be hesitant about trying to take up hobbies that you used to enjoy because you recognise - and rightly so - that the incessant drive to be doing something, all the time, didn’t necessarily come from anywhere healthy. That those things which you clung to and which protected you may actually have ended up harming you in the end. A lot of figuring out old patterns of unhelpful thoughts involves realising that the things that you defended or framed as helping - weren’t. That’s a hard thought, especially because those mechanisms developed to try and protect you, one that’s immeasurably sad. 

Seperating your reasons for doing something obsessively and your love of it in the first place, before it became unhealthy, is difficult. And it means that when you feel - finally, finally - ready to start tackling something like language learning again, you end up sorting of approaching it sideways, shiftily, as if you’re hoping to trick yourself into it. It’s a delicate thing, like a baby bird, and it’s dangerous too, because if you do everything which you did before - the only thing you know how to do - it’s not going to work. And every time it fails is personal, because being able to do it again represents getting better, and reclaiming parts of your identity mental illness stole, and it hurts.

I’m writing this post because somebody asked me about my approach to creating a successful language learning routine. And I do have a lot of thoughts - but I wanted to preface that post with this one, to say:

If you are reading this to be more productive, if it is becoming obsessive, if you want to fit the most possible language learning into the tightest schedule possible, STOP. Take care of yourself. These tips for ‘productivity’ are for people who want to learn a little bit more about organising their time, and are in the right space to add more learning to their life. If you are only defined by what many hours you get done a day, if that’s what motivates you, these tips are not for you. Look after yourself. 

And on that note, here’s a confession: I don’t have - have never had - a successful language learning routine. Because of what happened, the only way I can keep going and prevent myself from falling into bad habits is if I approach it sideways, if I pretend I’m not taking it seriously, because I know if I don’t things will go wrong. But I want to be honest and upfront because I know a lot of people read my posts for advice and say that this doesn’t work for me. It might not work for you either. I especially know there are a lot of conceptions of successful langblrs with 7, 8, 9 etc languages in the title - that that we spend 5 hours a day on Anki, fall asleep to Glossika, and so on. And it’s especially important to mention now, because I feel like my language learning habits have only started being healthy in the last year or so - essentially since I started actually enjoying Chinese media. I could teach you how to cram every spare second with language learning, or how to successfully pass an A-level in 3 months with no teachers. I was good (and arrogant, and cocky, and needed bringing down a peg or two). But I won’t.

What I do have are succesful language learning habits. Apart from being a generally more flexible appraoch for all learners, the advantage of building successful habits over a fixed routine is that it allows for learning according to different in energy levels, how busy you are, what you find difficult and what else is going on in your life. Most crucially for me is that it is always a much healthier approach, because what I do is not based on number of hours, or number of units a week, or anything quantifiable that allows me to get obsessive again or frustrated that I’m not doing enough. 

Routine is important, especially when it comes to routinising daily tasks. The only thing I have is that sometimes - on good weeks, and once or twice even shockingly on good months - I have a decent Anki streak going. That’s it. I don’t listen every day - I don’t read every day - I certainly don’t do grammar every day. There’s nothing specific I do every day, though I usually rack up a good few hours of immersion or study - to be honest, I fail at Anki probably at least 60% of the time. Everything else - all these tips I have written about - I do as and when. Framing it in such vague terms makes it sound like I must have an extraordinary amount of motivation to keep going, that maybe I’m just lucky to be interested etc, but that’s really not the case. What I have done to keep learning regularly and somewhat successfully (I hope!!) without limiting myself to a routine which I know I will starting obsessing over is tying specific language learning behaviour to certain moods or levels of concentration. 

All routine is just habit. Habit, with a ribbon and packaged nicely. But allowing yourself to adapt your learning to the circumstances gives you more flexibility than any strict routine, and is more sustainable in the long term. What building habits rather than a specific routine does is allow you to learn what works best when, what works when you’re tired, and what is best to do when you have energy, or when you want to watch a show, or talk to people. It puts you at the centre of your language learning, rather than framing language learning as a central part of you. 

So how can we build healthy habits? How can we utilise ‘dead time’ whilst keeping it light, and fun? How can we adapt our language learning for times when we are tired, and stressed? Or what about when we don’t have time to give 100% of our attention or concentration? How can we identify our own strengths, our own weaknesses, and unite these with our personal goals to figure out what to prioritise in active studying, and what to do when we don’t have the energy for that? 

I’ll give my thoughts on all of these over the next couple of weeks, in what I hope will be a comprehensive overview of how best to practice, addressing everything from how to practice speaking to how to start as a complete beginner. If you have any thoughts or interim questions, or if you’d like to add your own experience to anything I have said, please feel free to!

In the mean time - 

chenxi out. 

[finiteuniverse13]

Bravo's Banned List

With the help of @bravo-four-seal-team, @@jayhalsteadfan-2417 and @rebelwrites, we made a list.

A list, posted on various walls throughout the Naval base, the plane and the cage room. About 1/3 of it is typed up, the rest is in hastily written pen. Made by Blackburn to try and corral Bravo. It's doing its best.

Tag: @rebelwrites @chibsytelford @bravo-four-seal-team @velvetcardiganbucky @supervalcsi @abby-splace @itsonautopilot @thegirlwhoisalwayswriting @pinkrockstar19 @softi92 @mrsmarvelous1995 @jayhalsteadfan-2417

Just so you're all aware, this is a 6.5-page document.

0: On the days of Adam and Swanny’s Death, leave the group be to remember them. I will not protect you.

1: Brock Is Not Allowed Coffee. No exceptions.

1.1: Do not leave Metal alone with Brock when Coffee is around.

2: Dick jokes are not required in briefings

3: If a single one of you bastards get between me and my coffee, we will be having issues

5: You made the dog sad; you die.

8: DO NOT GIVE THEM NERF GUNS

9: WHO THE HELL GAVE THEM WATER GUNS

9.1: STICKS DO NOT GIVE THEM STICKS THEY WILL PRETEND THEY ARE GUNS

10: Dirt bikes (don’t ask)

11: ARCHERY IS A BIG NO

12: FISHING. WHY AM I BANNING FISHING

13: Fire. That is all

14: KNIVES. WHY ARE YOU GIVING THEM KNIVES?

15: LADDERS (NEVER AGAIN)

16: PLASTIC CUTLERY ONLY UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES GIVE THEM METAL CUTLERY

16.1: Scratch that, they stab people with the metal cutlery. Let them suffer the consequences of their actions. They can eat with their hands.

17: MEMES ARE NOT ALLOWED IN THE MEETING ROOM

18: Horse riding. (METAL IT IS NOT A TACTICAL DISMOUNT ITS CALLED FALLING AND GETTING A CONCUSSION)

19: BOY BANDS (not allowed to be played on the plane)

19.1: GIRL BANDS (for the love of god, they will try and imitate them)

19.2 RAP MUSIC (they think they are the next Eminem and will make your ears bleed)

20: Do not tell Jason he is not allowed to do something. He finds a way to do it

20.1: Apparently Ray will do the exact same without question

21: Do not leave any members of the team with upper brass. (How did you make an Admiral with years of combat CRY!)

22: Clay is under Jason’s protection don’t go after him they will not find your body

22.1: If Clay calls Jason dad just leave it ok

22.2: Actually, check on Jason, he’s been standing staring for the past hour now

23: Hairdryers are banned (HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET YOUR BEARD CAUGHT SONNY)

24: Only Trent is allowed to call Metal by his legal first name. Ensign Williams learnt that one the hard way.

25: Paintball is banned from the base the last time it was extreme and got violent

26: The transformers movies because clay tried to do a stunt it ended badly

27: Thumbtacks apparently

28: Any Marvel movie (Jason you’re not Captain America)

28.1: DC movies are out as well

28.2: Disney Princess movies as well (don’t ask)

30: Do not leave phone unlocked around Sonny, he will not hesitate to change everything

36: DO NOT LET THEM GET SO DRUNK THEY START SINGING. IF I HEAR IN THE NAVY ONE MORE TIME, I WON'T BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ACTIONS

37: IF THERE IS SILENCE DROP EVERYTHING AND START HUNTING AND PANICKING

38: Grenade launchers are not required for every mission Trent

39: WHO GAVE METAL A SWORD

42: Yes, Clay does know an Admiral by name. Don't ask questions you don't want answers to.

45: If Clay starts angrily ranting in a foreign language, don't worry. He's thinking out loud, not plotting to destroy the base

45.1: If Clay is calmly talking in a foreign language just back away slowly

48: SpongeBob is a Bad Idea because they are way too Annoying and make References (I’m looking at you, Clay)

52: Sharpies. When I find whoever gave me this sharpie tattoo sleeve, there will be hell to pay

56: DO NOT LET CLAY HAVE A GRIMM REAPER OUTFIT! THIS IS THE THIRD TIME HES NEARLY GIVEN SONNY AND TRENT A HEART ATTACK AT 3 AM

57: Red paint. I went to check something at 3 am and Clay was painting a satanic ritual on the floor

58: 3 am checks are a bad idea. (I have seen things, people!)

62: Explosives are to be locked away when not on mission Sonny and Clay will try and play catch with a live homewrecker

62.1: I expected Metal as a Master Chief to know better - he falls under the same rule as Clay and Sonny.

63: Don't wake Clay when he is sleeping back away slowly and leave the room

64: If I'm sleeping, back away and leave the room. Interrupt me if they've broken a rule, or if the base is actively being bombed. If not, I don't care.

65: Have multiple phone chargers or they will disappear and you’re not getting them back

68: If you call Clay anything other than a nickname expect to get punched or stabbed or sniped in the ass when least expected

68.1: Metal will stab you. Please remember he has a shovel and lye in his truck (WHY DO YOU HAVE IT)

68.2: Don't try to take the shovel and lye off of Metal

69: NEVER say the number 69 around them they are all immature children and expect tongue in cheek comments

70: NEVER interrupt Sonny when he is eating breakfast, he is grumpy in the morning

72: If they are all asleep make no sound - YOU WAKE THEM THEY ARE YOUR PROBLEM NOT MINE

73: For the love of god, stop giving Clay earth mineral nicknames. This is the third time this week I've watched Sonny empty limestone dust from his pack

75: Do not give them hammers! What is wrong with you people?

79: Do Not talk to Trent unless it’s after 2 coffees

83: For the love of god, don't ask Metal if he ever did nude modelling in art school. He will begin stripping, literally anywhere

91: Cerberus is a good boy and you hurt Brock you die

98: Super Glue (never again)

99: MY COFFEE IS OFF LIMITS WHOEVER PUT SALT IN IT WILL PAY

100: Do not give in to their peer pressure while they are drunk, I will not be doing it again

100.1: WHY AM I HEARING IN THE NAVY AGAIN?!

100.2: Sweet Caroline won't work twice

100.3: WHY ARE YOU SINGING BARBIE

100.4: SONNY, CLAY IS NOT A BARBIE GIRL

103: Don't tell Sonny he looks good in pink because you better believe he will keep wearing it (and probably some girl clothes too) to keep getting compliments

114: I ALREADY WROTE SUPER GLUE WHY DO I NEED TO WRITE IT AGAIN

115: HAIR DYE (Why did you dye Metal and Trent’s hair pink?!)

115.1: Face paint (Sonny, their faces did not need to match their hair)

116: Do NOT touch Clay, Charlie team learnt that, and someone ended up nearly losing a finger. (And it wasn’t because of the dog)

117: If they offer you a drink whilst smirking DO NOT take it

118: Sea shanties – if I hear one more SEA SHANTY while we are FLYING

119: If you hear someone shout incoming, run, it’s not an attack, it is Bravo, someone has done something and they’re coming to tell me

120: Vegemite is not allowed in the base after Jason let Clay eat it

121: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (JASON I DONT CARE IF YOU THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY TO ACT LIKE LEO IT WAS A BAD MOVE)

122: Hawaii 5-0, if I hear one more thing about how we should hang people of the rook of buildings I am going to shoot someone

124: Mortal Kombat (Clay was acting like Scorpion for a month)

130: Itching Powder (looking at you Brock)

131: DO NOT TOUCH JASONS TOMATOES - you will get a bamboo cane jammed into your thigh

134: Capes - YOU ARE NOT SUPERMAN CLAY STOP PRETENDING YOU CAN FLY BY JUMPING OFF THE HOOCHES

134.1: Edna Mode said NO CAPES - I EXPECT NO CAPES WORN BY ANYONE ON MY TEAM

138: Laser Tag is fun until someone gets hurt (Sonny and Clay you know what happened)

138.1: Laser Tag! (Ray needed to go to the hospital guys, come on)

143: Basketball. My nose will never be straight again.

144: Bravo and Ice skates don’t mix (the only person good on them is Jason but no other member of Bravo is allowed on the ice again)

144.1: Same goes for rollerblades

145: Ash Spencer is not allowed to be alone with Clay (Jason punched him last time he was on base)

145.1: Do not leave Jason, Metal or Sonny alone with Ash Spenser, it’s going to end up with a murder charge.

146: Clay is Jason’s adopted kid and needs to be supervised when Jason is away

151: SLIME - FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT GIVE THEM SLIME

152: GLITTER WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE

153: SCISSORS - Jase cut a chunk of Clay’s hair in the night now the base is a war zone

153.1: DONT FUCK WITH COVERBOY'S HAIR see point 68 for consequences

154: NAIR (why do you even have it?)

156: Call Of Duty (Clay must be supervised when playing it)

157: Do Not leave Clay unattended with Metal (They are both recovering from the ONE CHIP/DEATH CHIP Challenge)

158: Marshmallows (don’t ask)

163: The Hunger Games (are not a good training exercise)

164: The Olympus Has Fallen movies are not allowed to be mentioned in any given time)

173: If you mention the word ice-cream just run, run for your life

176: If I am sleeping STOP THROWING PAPER AT ME

177: Yelling FOR NARNIA is not an appropriate battle cry

178: The Fast And Furious movies (Clay you are not Brian so stop)

182: Nap time is important if their asleep do something else but if you wake them run like hell

190: Any movies about WAR are BANNED (I need a drink to talk about that one)

200 (From Bravo): Blackburn isn't allowed any more paper

200.1 (From Bravo): or pens

200.2: (Blackburn) Handcuffs. They handcuffed me to my desk and wrote that

200.3 (Blackburn): Bravo will not be allowed to tell their Commanding Officer what to do

202: Who keeps giving them superglue? This is the 8th time we are having to unglue Sonny and Clay’s hands

203: Do not let any of them take point on Briefing EVER

205: Are you serious? Paperclips! Do not give them PAPERCLIPS

206: Leaving anyone unattended with fire is a bad idea - I can still smell burning

210: This is Sparta (Jason don't kick people off the roof)

210.1: JASON I SAID NO KICKING PEOPLE YOU DONT LIKE OFF THE ROOF

213: Ash Spenser is not allowed on base. DEVGRU heard about what kind of dad he is, and now its kill-on-sight

213.1: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT ASH BEING ON BASE

214: Puppy dog eyes because Clay has been using them on anyone to get out of doing paperwork

215: RAY STOP DOING JASONS PAPERWORK

216: GO TO A HOSPITAL IF INJURED, TRENT HAS A LIFE OUTSIDE OF YOU LOT

217: THE GLEE CAST SOUNDTRACK IS NOT TO BE USED ON THE BASE

218: DO NOT PUT LION KING ON - they will cry like babies and there’s no consoling them over Mufasa

220: If I have to explain why BRAVO will not be joining teaching GREEN TEAM please see rule 1 and understand from that then ask the Green Team Instructor. (Brock terrified them by running the O Course in 30 minutes, all because someone gave him coffee)

220.1: And yes, that is the on the 50-minute-record O course. The time hasn’t been counted since it involved performance-enhancing substances

221: WHO THE HELL INTRODUCED THEM TO FROZEN

221.1 NO I DONT WANT TO BUILD A BLOODY SNOWMAN

221.2: WE WERE DEPLOYED TO SERBIA YOU BASTARDS

222: Gray’s anatomy (That is all)

227: VAPES - YOU DONT SMOKE AND ARE NOT PUFF THE MAGIC FUCKING DRAGON (clay I’m looking at you)

228: HATS ARE NOT ALLOWED IN BRIEFINGS (Sonny you know what you did)

229: MAGIC MIKE AND MAGIC MIKE XXL (still haunts my dreams)

233: I am begging you can you please BE NICE TO THE FLEET ADMIRAL (it's the 3rd time he's left in tears)

234: Chocolate - just run ok

235: Please stop re-enacting the screen from titanic when we are on a boat (I’m looking at you Brock)

235: PIZZA NIGHT IS A FREE FOR ALL AND IF YOU DONT WANT A BROKEN NOSE JUST BACK AWAY

236: Jokes. JOKES ARE BANNED - IF I NEED TO EXPLAIN WHY I WON'T BE HAPPY – NO ITS NOT FINE TO JOKE ABOUT THE FACT YOU HAVE BEEN STABBED CLAY

236.1: STAB WOUNDS ARE NOT ADDITIONAL POCKETS

237: Monopoly got violent last time and Jason got punched

237.1: In fact, any board games turn violent even snakes and ladders

237.2: Board games. Just please stop playing board games

240: Why am I revisiting the nerf guns people? IT WAS A FAMILY BARBECUE! (You lot need to learn to let your kids win!)

241: Brock is banned from Cooking - I do not want food poisoning again

244: WE DO NOT NEED A FLASH MOB EVERY TIME DONT STOP MOVING BY SCLUB 7 COMES ON

246: If they pass out around the fire pit for the love of god move them Clay and Sonny tend to like melting the sole of their boots on the flames even when passed out

251: Plastic cups only (this rule is to stop sonny from smashing them)

254: Why am I needing to revisit Sharpies? They aren’t allowed them, give them Crayola's or crayons

254.1: Scrap that YOU CAN’T EAT THE CRAYONS

256: Clay you are not Spiderman get off the walls

257: WHO GAVE COFFEE TO BROCK!!

257.1: THIS IS RULE ONE ON THE LIST WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

258: Don't mention Hawaii five 0 just don't

258.1: They will attempt the intro to it, it’s just painful

259: Don't mention Harry Potter because they will all cry over different characters deaths

287: Soup is now banned (Ray. I honestly thought you were the normal one of the team. I am disappointed)

321: If you see Clay and Sonny cuddling just walk away, pretend you didn’t see anything, one of them had a bad day and the other is the only one they will confine in

322: Don't mention the Philippines or India just don't

330: If Metal and Trent are talking, just leave them be. (No one wants to know if Metal is yelling about something stupid Trent did)

331: Popcorn is not allowed on base it ended up in everyone's gear

342: Non-Aerosol Deodorant. (Two of them tried to eat it before realising it wasn't edible)

344: Aerosol Deodorant. (Metal and Sonny used it with lighters. to create a flamethrower)

344.1: Side note LIGHTERS ARE BAD

345: Headphones. DO NOT ASK

346: Rubber bands are not slingshots

FINAL NOTE: FROM BRAVO - BLACKBURN LOVES US REALLY PLEASE IGNORE THE ABOVE LIST ITS ALL LIES

[forasecondtherewedwon]

They’re Sayin’ (You’re Gonna Be My Man)

Fandom: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier Pairing: Sam Wilson/Bucky Barnes Rating: T Word Count: 2217

Summary: Sam calls Bucky too soon after he's left Louisiana, looking for advice he doesn’t really need and getting a conversation he didn’t really expect.

Sam’s supposed to wait until news of the Flag-Smashers’ movements comes down the line to get in touch with Bucky. He doesn’t. It’s sooner. It’s almost right away.

He’s sure Bucky’s gotta be out of the state, but he doesn’t know whether he’s made it back to this alleged apartment in Brooklyn (on some level, Sam’s aware that he keeps making jokes about the conspiracy of the apartment’s existence because it’s his way of daring Bucky to invite him over sometime). When he calls Bucky up, he knows he might catch him on a plane, in a cab, with a buzz of voices around him as he scowls at strangers in an airport or stomps down a sidewalk. But, other than Bucky’s voice on the other end, Sam just hears quiet, so he figures the guy made it home.

“You never told me if you had any tips,” Sam accuses straight off.

Shifting his feet, he tamps down more of the grass he’s been practicing on, squinting when sweat rolls into his eye. He just finished a brisk mile with the shield on his arm, getting used to the weight and the bulk of it, and he’s ready to start throwing again.

“Tips for what?” Bucky asks. “Fixing the boat? General life stuff? I know we had a good talk, but I think I take advice better than I give it.”

“Which is not saying much,” Sam points out with a laugh. “You suck at taking advice.”

“Until recently.”

“Until recently,” Sam allows. He takes a deep breath and leans over to the side, stretching from his run and tapping his hand on the Vibranium disc currently propped against his leg. “Nah, man, for the shield. How to throw it, how to catch it, how to pull off some of Steve’s fuckin’ boomerang tricks.”

“I thought you were gettin’ the hang of it,” Bucky says in his ear.

“I am. I just realized that, when I had you here, you did a lot of standing around and catching the shield on that cyborg arm of yours. Not a lot of active advice-giving.”

“You really want me telling you how to do your job?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, nobody said that. I am simply aware of the fact that you’re one of very few people alive who’ve handled this thing, and maybe the only one who did it with any actual competence.”

“The level of flattery is astounding,” Bucky says dryly.

“You want more, you gotta help me out,” Sam jokes back.

“Well, show me what you’re doin’.”

Sam glances around himself. Flat lawn. Waning daylight. Tall trees wrapped in the pads he’s been ricocheting the shield off of. No place good to prop his phone.

“I gotta get somebody to film me,” he realizes. “Lemme call you back.”

“Everybody’s gonna be filming you with the shield pretty soon. Only question is whether you’re doing something impressive in news footage or looking like a jackass in some kind of Avengers’ Greatest Fuckups reel.”

“Shut the hell up. I thought we were gettin’ along now.”

“Just trying to be motivational. Am I not doing it right?”

“I think you better look up the word ‘motivational’ in the dictionary while you wait for my call,” Sam suggests.

He disconnects and hangs his head, shaking it even as he smiles.

His legs are screaming for a thorough, post-workout stretch and maybe some ice on his shins—they’ve been taking the brunt every time he digs his feet into the ground and braces to snatch the returning shield from the air—but what’s another quarter mile? Sam runs to Sarah’s, arms pumping, stride a little different now that he has to accommodate the shape of the shield.

When he gets there, the boys are playing soccer on the lawn and he calls through the screen window to the kitchen to get his sister’s ok to borrow them as his training assistants. They get even more excited by the bestowing of this title and its implied responsibility than by the sight of the shield. That’s pretty incredible. Sarah caves to a temporary borrowing (supper’s almost ready) and they’re off.

On the way back, Sam lets AJ carry the shield. Seems like a nice break for himself until Cass requests a piggyback.

“Alright,” Sam agrees with a sigh, crouching in front of his nephew. “Hop on.”

Captain America’s benevolence is limitless. At least, it is this evening. When his back’s killing him tomorrow from absorbing the shock of a hundred shield throws, he will not be so easily persuaded into giving piggybacks.

In the clearing, Sam pulls his phone from the zipped pocket of his shorts and videocalls Bucky, who picks up on the first ring. His face is too close to the camera, but it’s good to see those blue eyes and the crinkles that are either there because he’s smiling in greeting or he’s confused about how a videocall works. In a few seconds, Bucky figures out for himself that he needs to hold the phone farther away. It makes Sam miss him. Also makes him a little worried because he can see the blank, white wall of Bucky’s apartment around his head. No paint, no art. Sam can’t even hear a TV or anything in the background.

“You’re not busy,” he observes.

“Not really, no,” Bucky admits.

“You coulda stayed here longer.”

“Nah, you needed time with everything, not me constantly looking over your shoulder. Shield’s yours now, Sam. I’m gonna be at your side, but you and the shield… I got no say in what that relationship is. I understand that now and I’m trying to respect it.”

“So when you’re actually doing the right thing, let you back off?”

“That’s right,” Bucky agrees.

“I’ll try to remember in case it ever happens again.”

Before Bucky can defend himself against Sam’s teasing jab, Sam passes the phone to AJ, camera turned so Bucky will still be focused on him when he starts throwing the shield again.

“Got you propped up on my human tripod,” he informs Bucky, reaching above the phone to playfully shove the side of AJ’s head. “So watch your mouth.”

“Can I say hi?”

“Don’t be a smartass,” Sam warns.

And, of course, Bucky eggs the kids into a long ooooh, like they’ve caught him breaking his own rule. Which they have. But Bucky was being a smartass and the opportunity to let him know is not something Sam likes to pass up.

He’s stretching now—maybe for himself, maybe for the camera pointed his way—gripping his ankles in turn and holding his heels to his ass until he feels the pull in his thighs. Bucky’s not wrong about having this time to himself. Just him and this legendary object that’s feeling more right on his arm every time he slips it through the straps. Still, he misses what they had going the last two days. Not him and the shield, but him and Bucky. Having him here like that… It was different from every other experience Sam’s had with him. Bucky was still, in turns, a grouch and a showoff and a staring machine and a shithead (flirting with Sarah, come ON), but he was also more convincingly a person than Sam’s had the pleasure of seeing him before. At ease and multi-faceted by nature instead of the necessity of adapting in the face of a threat.

Bucky smiled.

They didn’t always bicker.

He looked damn good in the morning when they leaned against the kitchen counter, not talking, sipping their coffee.

Sam wants those minutes back so bad. Living with Bucky here was incomparable to living with him overseas. Lotta reasons for that, including not having to share the space with Baron Zemo. Mostly because this is home and Sam liked pretending, while Sarah did some well-deserved sleeping in and the boys got the hems of their pajama pants wet in the dew in the backyard, that it was real. That this breath between their fights (no longer with each other) could last and that this is where they’d hold it. It could be their kitchen, their mugs, their tousled sheets Bucky’d climbed out of, looking all rumpled and lovely and shit.

But Bucky doesn’t know what Sam pretends and Sam sure as hell isn’t going to tell him. He’s just going to keep faithful to their usual dynamic, trying for less glaring. Not a word to unsettle things, as much as he’s curious how they might handle things being unsettled. As much as his mind plays back the blinding glint off the water as they rolled up their sleeves and went to work together in a way more meaningful, more personal, than they ever have before. Plays it back all the time.

No. Quiet. Sam needs to figure himself out first and knows Bucky’s working on doing the same. Maybe sometime—but probably never—they can see how those selves overlap. All they need to make fly right now is being Captain America and… what’d that moron call himself? The White Wolf? Son of a biscuit…

“Let me see him!” Cass says excitedly, recapturing Sam’s focus.

It’s his brother he’s talking to and Sam watches fondly as AJ turns the phone to show Bucky a grinning Cass, being careful to keep it steady. Pretty damn sweet. Cass even waves while Sam stands there, watching and doing shoulder rolls.

“Hi, Uncle Bucky!”

Sam feels like he just whipped the shield out and caught the return in his stomach. He strides over to the boys and AJ passes the phone back without being asked. He’s stifling giggles despite or because he senses that his little brother shouldn’t have said that.

“One minute,” Sam tells Bucky, hardly glancing at him because he just can’t. He tilts the camera towards the ground and raises expectant eyebrows at his grinning nephews. “Did somebody tell you to call him that?”

In unison, the boys go, “No, Uncle Sam,” which is suspiciously adorable. But they aren’t liars.

“Did you hear somebody call him that?”

AJ and Cass glance at each other and that’s enough for Sam. They won’t answer, so he knows it’s Sarah who’s made this joke, put this idea in the kids’ heads. They won’t give her up though, because they’re Wilsons and they’re loyal to their mother.

Sam turns the camera back on himself, unprepared for the upward tick at the corner of Bucky’s lips that make them even harder to look away from than usual.

“My sister must’ve—”

“I know,” Bucky interrupts.

“You know?”

“Yeah. Sarah called me that to my face.”

“She did what?”

Sarah having her joke is one thing, but saying it to Bucky takes things a little far, in Sam’s opinion. Bucky could think Sarah’s serious. He could think she’s saying that because Sam’s said something to her. Something about coffee and bedsheets and the sweet ache he felt in his chest when he saw Bucky’s smile in the golden light of dawn.

“Last night, before she put the boys to bed. You were in the shower, I think.” Bucky reaches up absentmindedly to run a hand over the top of his head; the flex of his bicep in the long-sleeved shirt he’s wearing and waiting for the end of this recollection are both torture for Sam. “They wanted to hang out with me, but Sarah said, ‘Uncle Bucky’s gotta get some sleep. You’ll see him tomorrow.’ Something like that.”

Now, when Sam’s truly learning the meaning of flabbergasted, Bucky’s mouth cracks into a wide, self-satisfied smile.

“You made that up,” Sam guesses helplessly.

“Nope.”

Sam knows that, with his nephews’ inability to lie and Sarah’s lifelong history of messing with him as evidence, but it would’ve been a convenient escape from the reality of his sister (and possibly the boys too) addressing Bucky as if he and Sam are together.

“Tell me you told my sister to drop the ‘Uncle.’”

Another thing Sam knows: that Bucky didn’t do that. Bucky seems happy to prove his fears correct; he shrugs.

“Sounded kinda nice,” Bucky defends. That makes Sam soften. He knows Bucky doesn’t have any living family, that he’s been struggling to allow himself to make friends. Maybe he just likes being told he belongs to them and that Sarah’s joke makes it effortless for him. Then, Bucky adds, “Pass me back to my nephews.”

Sam points a warning finger at him.

“Watch it.”

“Yeah, yeah.” The crease between Bucky’s eyebrows deepens as Sam watches the pain in the ass pretend to be stern with him. “Just throw the damn shield. I thought you asked for my help.”

“I did.”

Releasing a cautious sigh, Sam hands the phone to AJ once more. The boy’s got his silliness under control and he accepts the job solemnly.

Sam’s two steps away, hefting the shield onto his arm, when he hears Bucky shout, “And my hand in marriage!”

The boys’ laughter has them rolling on the cool grass, the phone clutched in AJ’s grip, and by the time Sam wrestles it away from his nephew, the camera’s swung all over the place. Showing Bucky the sky, the dirt, some quality footage up AJ’s nose, and probably—almost definitely—the way his words made Sam smile.

[threecrowsinatrenchcoat]

Paint My Spirit Gold

Dukeceit Week Day 2: Green/Yellow

Fans of the YouTubers "Deceit" and Remus "The Duke" Sanders start to suspect that maybe, just maybe, the two of them are more than simple internet pals.

AO3 Link: [here]

Word Count: 2187

Warnings: n/a

@dukeceitweek <3

-

[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a watercolor-style painting of a snake. The snake appears to be made of melting chocolate, and there is a large bite taken out of its tail. Cherries and jam are leaking out of the snake at the bite wound. The snake's expression of horror is overly-exaggerated to the point of comedy. The caption reads: "liked your snake boi, @SerpenThyme. thanks for the inspo." /end ID]

- 

A notification ding cut Janus off mid-sentence. 

“Wow, someone left their cell phone on, so professional,” he said, giving the camera a dramatic eye roll. That someone was him, of course, because he was the only one in the apartment- just him and the running livestream- but that was no excuse not to be a drama queen about it. He finished wiping flour off his hands and grabbed his phone to silence it; but the notification made him pause. He flicked his eyes up toward the camera and gave a slight smirk.

“My goodness, I’m famous,” he drawled. “The Duke himself has graced little old me with some fan art.”

Most of the comments in the chat wanted him to show it, so Janus opened up Twitter to see the full post he’d been tagged in. It was a watercolor painting of the coiled-snake chocolate sculpture- lovingly named Jake by his viewers- he’d made for his YouTube video last week; it was wearing an expression of such comedic horror that Janus had to stifle a laugh. He flicked his phone screen toward the close-up camera on his counter so his viewers could see.

“How kind of you, Remus,” he said. “All of you should go scold him for what he’s done to poor Jake here.”

Most of his viewers would know he was joking- after all, they were the ones to nickname him Deceit when he provided neither a real or fake name for his online persona. They knew full well what he was like by now.

The oven timer dinged. Janus silenced his phone and set it aside.

“And our first batch of cookies is done. You know, why don’t we show the Duke some appreciation?”

-

[ID: An Instagram post by user @SerpenThyme. The photo is an artistically-framed shot of a stack of sugar cookies with green, yellow, and pink icing. Propped up against the stack is another cookie, with an intricate icing-drawing of an octopus. The photo appears to have been color corrected to have high contrast, low saturation, and a dark vignette at the edges. The Instagram user @OctoDukie is tagged. No caption. /end ID]

- 

“You know, I have often been accused of actually being a little old lady, what with my fondness for knitted jumpers, rocking chairs, and incredibly fucked up murder mystery books. Today I am doing nothing to dispel this accusation, by making soup.”

The studio was dark and empty aside from Remus' workspace. Everyone else had left long ago, even his own brother, which meant that it was officially ass-o'clock in the morning (or, as most people called it, somewhere between 1 and 2 a.m.) But Remus was stuck in hyperfocus, honed in on putting the last touches on a commission that he'd been putting off for weeks. It's not that it was a tough painting- once he'd gotten started, it was actually a very creatively satisfying piece- but man, executive dysfunction could go suck a dick

“French onion soup, specifically. Because while I do like to pretend I am a classy bitch, I am also, regrettably, a lazy bitch with a distaste for anything that takes longer than one bottle of wine to make.”

Remus hated working in silence. It was stifling, almost suffocating. His brain needed noise like his lungs needed air. So when the studio had grown still and silent, Remus had flipped open his laptop and queued up some YouTube videos. 

“So we have here three pounds of onions that we need to slice up, pole to pole. You’re going to cry no matter what, so if you have any memories you’ve been repressing since middle school, now is an excellent time to dredge those up.” 

And if it happened to be 90% SerpenThyme videos, well. Sue him. 

“Now the first rule of caramelizing onions: fast and sloppy is always better than slow and thorough… at least, that’s what every man I’ve ever slept with tells me.”

Remus choked and glanced over to his laptop screen just in time to catch Deceit's trademark smirk directed at the audience just for a moment. It was the deadpan delivery that always got him. Remus could barely hold onto a joke long enough to get through it without cackling mid-punchline, but this fucker could say the funniest shit like an off-hand comment. 

He wiped his hands off on his jeans (what use were clothes if you couldn't use them as paint rags?) and pulled his laptop across the table.  He typed out a quick comment, citing the timestamp of the joke, and after it was posted, he shut his laptop. 

'Cause ass-o'clock was short for "get-your-ass-home-or-I’ll-kick-it" o'clock. 

-

[ID: A screenshot of a YouTube comments section. The first comment is by user TheDuke, and reads: "10:42 wow, rude." The second comment is a reply by user SerpenThyme, and simply reads ";)" /end ID]

-

Janus plopped down on the couch with a slight groan. He didn’t need to stream today, but he really hated missing days. Besides… he was fine. Really. 

He adjusted the camera until he was happy with the framing, and then checked the settings on his streaming software. Satisfied, he started the stream, and watched as his usual viewers rolled in. 

“What do you mean I’m not in my kitchen?” Janus drawled, addressing the chat. He glanced around with an expression of faux-shock on his face. “My goodness, when did that happen?”

He chuckled, and then gestured to his surroundings. “Yes, we are in my living room today. If you must know, my closest and most trusted friend tried to murder me today- yes, Virgil, it was attempted murder and nothing less- and I survived with nary a scratch… and a broken foot, but that is beside the point. Anyway, I’m not allowed to stand for long periods of time, and I may or may not be somewhat inebriated by pain pills and couldn’t stand even if I wanted to. So we are cooking from my couch today.”

Janus paused for a few moments to read the chat messages as they popped up. A few get well soon’s, a few theories about the “attempted murder,” Virgil- who moderated his chat for him- vehemently denying the “attempted murder” but otherwise refusing to clarify the event, and a large volume of wtf why are you streaming today, take care of yourself comments, which made him smile. But one particular comment caught his eye, almost lost amid the torrent of an active chat: wait this kinda looks like the Duke’s living room?

“Oh, VampSuga,” he said, addressing that commenter in particular with a slight smirk. “I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about. Anyway, since I can’t reach my oven from here, I thought some no-bake cookies were in order. For these you will need-”

-

[ID: A screenshot of a Discord conversation. The text reads:

“VampSuga: Ok ok hear me out. Dukeceit. 

Starstruck96: who?

IneffableSnek: lmao

FeralBeauYasha: lol

VampSuga: Deceit and Remus Sanders! They’re totally dating. I will die on this hill. 

FeralBeauYasha: Isn’t the duke w/ PatPat?

IneffableSnek: no thats his brothers bf

FeralBeauYasha: ohh

VampSuga: Did anyone see Deceit’s stream today? I swear that’s the Duke’s livingroom. 

StarStruck96: idk that seems like a stretch

IneffableSnek: no wait i kno what u mean

IneffableSnek: im watching the duke’s old videos and that one where he shows off all his old weapons he’s in a living room kinda like deceit’s 

FeralBeauYasha: They were acting all cute on twitter too

VampSuga: DUKECEIT”  /end ID]

-

"Hey guys, been a while since you've seen my face and not just whatever my hands are busy with, when it's within YouTube's terms and conditions I mean. They used to be way more lenient…" Remus trailed off for a moment, then shook his head sharply and plastered on a grin. 

"Anyway! In June me and a few other creators did a fundraiser for the Trevor Project, and y'all smashed the goal, so I let you decide what video I'd make this month." He paused, and gestured to the mountain of clothes piled behind him on the bed. "And you had so many juicy ideas to choose from, but you decided to dress me up like a Barbie instead."

Remus paused to scroll through his phone for a few moments. "Ah, ok, here we go. Twitter user YoonIsMyCat- oh, BTS, nice- sent in this first outfit. Uh… future Remus, put up the post here somewhere." He gestured vaguely to his right. "Y'all went with either a fuckton more clothes or a fuckton less clothes, which I respect. Apparently this outfit is called…” He squinted at his phone. “Amish chic? I take it back, no respect at all.”

Remus cycled through the outfits his viewers sent in, which ranged from the aforementioned “Amish chic” to “2008 rave attire” to “ok now you guys are just fucking with me” (which consisted of one of those big puffy snow coats, lime green in color; booty shorts with the shrug text emoji across the ass; fuzzy pink boots; and a yellow cowboy hat to top off the whole thing. It was awful. Remus loved it.) The mountain of clothes on the bed gradually became a mess of clothes spread across the floor instead, until there was just one outfit left. 

“Ok so Twitter user VampSuga sent me this outfit that I’m gonna call ‘sexy librarian.’ I couldn’t find this exact sweater online, but-” he paused for dramatic effect, before brandishing a sweater toward the camera like a bullfighter. “My boyfriend had something that was close enough.”

Remus hopped up from the bed and switched off the camera so he could change.

“They’re going to lose their minds,” a voice drawled from the doorway. Remus threw his shirt at him.

“Shoo, I’m getting naked.”

-

[ID: A Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a selfie of YouTuber Remus “The Duke” Sanders, a Hispanic man with his hair dyed green and styled into a spiked mohawk. He is wearing a yellow knitted cardigan over a black button-up shirt. He is grinning widely at the camera. The caption reads: “my viewers pick my outfits! now live on youtube. go see what i look like as a sexy librarian!” /end ID]

-

DukeceitStan

first and only dukeceit shipper ig

DukeceitStan

wow there’s so many of you now! Hi!!

DukeceitStan

i want this to be canon so bad omg

DukeceitStan

i mean just look

[image]

how 

[image]

cute

[image]

[ID: A series of three gifs featuring Youtubers SerpenThyme, aka Deceit, and TheDuke, aka Remus Sanders. Deceit is a black man with long, dreadlocked hair, and vitiligo patches along the left side of his face. Remus is a Hispanic man with green-dyed hair styled into a mohawk, many ear and facial piercings, and tattoos covering both arms. Each gif is edited so that the highlights are tinged yellow when Deceit is seen, and tinged green when Remus is seen.

The first gif depicts a close-up shot of Deceit’s hands as he carefully decorates a cookie with green and yellow icing. The cookie art he is working on appears to be a half-finished octopus. The gif then fades into a mid-shot of Remus, with his back to the camera, facing a canvas. The canvas is blank, and Remus appears to be laying out paints on a table to his left. 

The second gif depicts Deceit seated at his couch, facing the camera. He has many ingredients spread across his coffee table (including oats, cocoa powder, and butter) and appears to be in the process of laying out several more. The gif fades to show Remus seated at a similar couch with a similar coffee table in front of him. The camera is angled slightly downward to better show the myriad of knives spread out across the table. Remus is gesturing wildly with a morning star held in his hand. 

The third gif depicts Deceit in his kitchen. He is pulling on a bright, yellow knitted cardigan, and smirking toward the camera. The gif fades to show Remus in his bedroom, seated on his bed. He is holding up a similar-looking cardigan toward the camera and grinning. /end ID]

- 

“Remus, it’s almost two in the morning. Come to bed.”

“I’m coming, sorry. Twitter distracted me.”

“Mm. I can’t believe the bird app is more distracting than I am.”

“You should try harder.”

“Come to bed and maybe I will.”

“Ok, ok, I’m coming. Hang on though, is it cool if I post this?”

“Sure. They figured it out anyway.”

“Sweet. Ok, Jannie, I’m coming.”

-

[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It reads: “Dukeceit is canon.” /end ID] 

[dolokhoded]

me starting to actually write this even though it still very obviously has some plot wholes

that ralbert au where race commits war crimes

i think it's really cute

so pulitzer is the big bad guy here for i'm basic reasons

has created some,, weird ass dumb ass evil empire

destroyed a couple towns

caused some battles

divided the world

y'know. stuff like that.

starting off with some spicy unfinished plot 🤩 but lbh it doesn't really matter anyways we're all just here for ralbert

anyways, race and al's families? pretty big part of that.

they're both supposed to take over their fathers' jobs when they grow up

said jobs basically being,, in charge of,,, unleashing people to raid entire towns and burn them to the ground

they grew up side by side, have always been best friends, never seen without each other

but understandably when they started growing up and understanding what was going on around them it,,,,,,, troubled them

and they dealed with it Very Differently

albert did Not like it

he was angry, and he was sad that this was what he was supposed to become and he was already never close with his family so it wasn't really hard for him to decide he didn't want anything to do with them anymore

race,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, okay look

deep inside him race knew what was going on was,,, s o wrong

but race was also from a big tight family, it was so much easier for him to just,,,,,, shut all of that out and pretend he was just doing what was better for them

it was hard for him, it was his family

still you can understand how well it went for them when albert left and race refused to go with him

they were 17 at the time

people against pulitzer's whole thing were obviously not very,,,,,,,,, well appreciated?

the moment albert ran away he was art of the defiance. he was a traitor.

but he was also still dasilva's son and they wanted them on their side, so they wouldn't seriously hurt him

doesn't mean they stopped looking for him

he shared an apartment with romeo and finch for a while, it was in a pretty lowkey neighborhood and they covered for him

and through them he met the rest of the newsies :) who actively helped in trying to help people who's homes were destroyed by pulitzer

there were people actively fighting him too but the newsies were mostly in charge of that

well, until albert and his non-existent impulse control arrived anyways

cause look,,,,, race was being trained for a reason, and eventually he took over

so when you see this ur ex-best friend who you're in love with but have a lot of repressed feelings for, both good and bad, that you decide to dump in the 'im angry' pile and just pretend you hate him and no longer care about him,,,,, fighting occurs

and there was a bit of controversy about albert joining them because "it's the dasilva boy romeo he was specifically trained to kick our asses" but that slowly turns into "yea ok he's very legit but for the love of god someone s t o p him the next time he tries to kiLL SOMEONE-"

that's a hyperbole, of course. even as rivals, albert wouldn't kill race. he barely even hurts him.

if anything, he even kind of looks out for him

he knows he's not supposed to but somehow he still can't bring himself to let race get hurt

besides let's be honest, most of their encounters are just an excuse to bitch at each other, they'd never do anything they know would seriously hurt the other

they know each other pretty well, they grew up together, they know each other's strengths and weaknesses

which is a pretty big advantage for them, honestly

enter,,,, albert dasilva's galaxy brain and the newsies' favorite game

Is Albert A Strategic Genius Or Is He Just In Love With Race

"no i've got this i know race!! i can use that against him!!!! i can guess his every move!!!! that's how well i know him!!!! i can recognize him in a room of like a billion people!!!!! it's my ultra strategic mind!!!! i can tell the sound of his voice from miles away!!!! it's because im so invested!!!!"

specs is like "in the mission or in race"

and albert is like "WHATEVER ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT IT'S MY STRATEGIC MIND"

"I AM A MACHINE SPECS"

"you're chronically dumb"

"S T R A T E G I C M I N D."

albert really came in like well race's plan's gonna be ruined cause IM IN LOVE WITH HIM >:) what a fuckin loser

all this aside,,,,,,, albert never stops trying to get race on their side .

now RACETRACK,,,,,,,,,

we have a WHOLE LOT of being an asshole as a defense mechanism from this boy

in race's eyes, albert abandoned him

in race's eyes, he was given up on. he just wasn't enough to keep him there.

he can't see anything but that and never in a million years would he bring himself to believe albert still cares about him

he'd be getting his hopes too high and letting down his guard, and he can't afford to do that.

race doesn't notice albert trying to help him, he doesn't notice albert very carefully avoiding injuring him, he doesn't notice how albert will never say anything that would hurt him

albert's always protective of race, regardless of if he's beside or against him

which leads us to how once race eventually does get hurt, seriously hurt, literally no one bats an eye when albert returns with race unconscious, demanding they get him help

which they do, cause albert has not shut up about race for like one second, the newsies might as well know as much about him as albert did

naturally when race woke up he,,, had questions

and then he saw albert

he was sat on a chair next to him, sleeping

and this is the first time he's seen him like this in ages

and he gets a little chocked up because holy shit he almost forgot albert was,,,,,like,,, a person

and it wasn't necessary to only see him when fighting

he still had a life and friends and people he loved and he wasn't just this dude who left them because he didn't give a shit about anyone

he could genuinely care for people and he could love people and race just remembered how much he wished he could be one of those people

and how much he wished he could be albert's favorite person again and just sit and talk and laugh with him like they used to

cause that's a part of albert he'd forced himself to just forget about

and then al wakes up and he sees him looking up at him and he's like

"how're you feeling"

and then he's sad cause it's much harder to know albert is a good person with real feelings and he's capable of loving so much and race thinks he's just one of the people who will never get that side of him and he just

"fuck off"

they fight

because of course they do

they're not really sure on what terms they are at this point, and there's so much they need to get out there

at first race is just,,,, stubborn

he won't listen, he demands they let him go back

"we can just let you go, idiot, i shouldn't have ever brought you here in the first place!"

"then why did you?"

and al just shrugs it away as if he hasn't been in love with him for years and would never forgive himself if he left him there to bleed

they just go yelling at each other back and forth for a while until inevitably albert's non-existent impulse control makes his return

and he,,,,, very angrily tells him he loves him

and everything just stops cause that's the one thing race though he'd never hear him say again

and race is literally holding his breath cause he's scared he'll ruin it if he moves in the slightest and it'll all turn out to be in his head but it's not cause when he tells albert he loves him back he's still there and he just,,

takes race's face in his hands and kisses him so softly it's like they weren't just screaming at each other's faces

romeo just fuckin pokes his head in like "i heard yelling but i also heard i love you so i'll assume some of those unresolved feelings were let out and we're all ready to have a nice long healthy chat, yeah? :D"

so they do

they talk. for,,,,,,,,, a long time.

needless to say, race stays

he loves his family and maybe he'll be back for them, maybe he'll help them but he recognizes what's the priority here

plus it's a little clearer now that he doesn't have all those feelings to worry about, and it's been a while since he was actually accepted and loved, which the newsies did instantly. it's pretty obvious where he belongs now.

this au still has,,,,, SO much to unpack, holy shit, but i decided to leave this post here cause,,,,, i can't do all of that now. i might at some point though, if people actually are interested, there's a lot of hurt/comfort from this point. there's the nightmares part which is v soft and i adore it, THERE'S JUST A LOT TO UNPACK. so yeah, i'm finally posting this, ralbert stans, come get y'all's juice.

[firelxdykatara]

Hey, I've been following you for while now, and I've noticed that you are really good at being critical of the things you love, and I just wanna ask, how? This may not make sense, but whenever I love something I loathe to look at the bad sides of it, and I don't know to overcome this. I suspect it's because of the people around me(online spaces,, mostly) who take criticism way too far, and if something has bad stuff in it, they automatically think you're a bad person, if that makes sense?

Idk, I just wanna to like something while acknowledging the bad things, or could've-been-improved things about it lol

Ok, first of all, I want to let you know that being vocally critical about the things you love is not necessary.

What I mean by that is, you do not have to justify why you love a thing, no matter how 'problematic' it is, with 'i know it's problematic, but' or any variant thereof. You can just say 'I like this thing' and leave it at that, or reblog fandom posts, or whatever. Shipping and other forms of fandom engagement are not activism, and there's really no need to self-flagellate over your love of something that has issues, because everything has issues (especially if you dig hard enough), and no one else is entitled to that energy from you. It takes work to dig deep into a thing, especially if it's to critically analyze it, and not everyone feels the need or desire to do that work, and that's ok.

That said, you also shouldn't pretend that reasonable criticisms of the thing you love don't exist. As an example, if you love Kataang, you don't have to say 'i know the EIP kiss was problematic, but I still love their relationship and ship them together'. (Although if you do want to talk about the issues that exist in their canon development, while still loving them as a couple, that is also valid!) However, you absolutely shouldn't say 'I think it's totally fine that Aang kissed Katara without her consent and actually that's a healthy and romantic moment in their relationship' or 'it's fine that Aang never apologized because kissing her is what made Katara realize she liked him'. (Both of which being actual takes I've seen in my fandom excursions.) You can simply choose to enjoy the good parts of their relationship, reblog fics and art and gifsets and metas/headcanons you like, etc. Some people simply don't have the energy or even desire to do deep dives into fandoms for any reason, and this kind of passive engagement with a fandom is perfectly ok.

As for me, personally, I think it's because I just... have lots of words, and thoughts, all the time, about everything I consume. There are often things I notice--either at the time, or in hindsight when I go back and reread or rewatch something (see: how much more I loathe Xander Harris every time I watch btvs)--that I would've done differently or I think should have been changed, or that may sour certain aspects of the work for me, even if I still enjoy the whole. I love atla, but I also see the flaws in the worldbuilding and writing, and will talk about those because it often coincides with my other interests--like zutara, and how I think the story could have played out if that were the endgame rather than what canon actually gave us.

For a bit of a more controversial example--I still love Harry Potter. I don't engage with it as a fandom nearly as much as I used to--I'll reblog the occasional post, but otherwise it simply isn't an active interest of mine. But I know that the books themselves are full of issues, and I'd never begrudge anyone their dislike/hatred of the series given the author's own bigotry. I also refuse to give JKR a single cent of my money, and as a queer woman I can only hope that some day, when the series finally enters the public domain, the old bat rolls in her grave at the popular reboot featuring trans girl!Harry and her adventures. I completely understand why a lot of the flaws in the books are looked at much more critically now than they used to be, given recent revelations about the author's own beliefs--but the books are still important to me, were a formative influence on my life, and I can't hear so much as a single bar of Hedwig's Theme without wanting to burst into tears.

So, at the end of the day (i guess this would be the TL;DR:) your blog is your own space and it is for whatever thoughts you choose to put out into the blogosphere, whatever those may be. If focusing on the bad parts of something you love is distressing to you, then don't! As long as you know they are there (and don't begrudge other people who may feel differently or more strongly about those flaws than you), that's all that can really be expected--and, again, no one has the right to demand critical energy from you. Tumblr blogs are not hubs of social activism, and everyone has the right to decide what content they wish to create, spread, and consume. People may not want to follow you if you post a lot about something they think is deeply flawed without touching on those flaws, and that is their right, just as it's your right to post whatever you like on your blog. If someone is going to think you're a bad person based on what you do or don't say about fictional people and worlds on your blog, then that probably isn't someone you wanted following you or engaging with your content in the first place.

I kind of rambled a bit, I hope that I answered your question and you find this helpful!