#pressing through

[joyfuldeepend]

Pushing Through

Some days I find it so interesting just how close my feelings as a teenager are applicable to the teenager in my home. It makes me wonder if it is a universal experience or just God knowing what he’s doing in who He placed with me.

The signs my teen is going through something are her room is a disaster area and she avoids me. She gets moodier and moodier the more distance, emotional or otherwise, there is between us. I’ve spent my life with the desire to be pursued, they say the thing you desired as a kid is the thing you look for or do as an adult. I’ve said to friends and to my kids, it’s a blessing and a curse that I don’t give up and will pursue even when you push me away. So you’re welcome and I’m sorry.

When behavior and disobedience pushes me away from my teen…it’s time to lean in and push through. One Saturday night she didn’t come home without permission. That Sunday she missed curfew and showed up minutes before midnight. She didn’t go to school on Monday, despite being up and able bodied to go. I came home about 8:30pm that day and she was asleep, so I did the annoying parent thing and woke her up. Pressed about why she didn’t honor her commitments. She did all the teen things that made me want to walk out. But Jesus gave me to her. So I invaded her space, got close and hugged her and said nothing.

It didn’t take more than a minute till she started crying and self loathing. I just listened, affirmed her feelings and then gave her the facts. The facts about being a teenager and how it’s the worst. That fact that I don’t need anything from her, so I’m the easiest person to let down rather than her friends/sister. The fact that her disobedience doesn’t disappoint me for me, rather for what I know it does to her mind/emotions. The fact that everyone needs help. The facts that she can have a future and hope. The fact that she can’t get rid of me easily, even when I think maybe I’m not the best support for her and should throw in the towel. The fact that her room gets messy when she’s depressed, just like mine is currently. 🤦🏻‍♀️😊

I don’t know if I’m doing the parental thing right. If I’m being too much of a “white” parent vs a “black” parent, as they call it. I often wonder if it’s just manipulation or if I know what I’m doing, however she ended up cleaning her room and talking to me…for now that’s enough for me. For now I will continue to push against what feels comfortable. To hug her when she’s prickly. To buy her Chipotle when she has bad grades. To not withhold good things or limit things to positive behavior and things that make my life easier.

When I was a kid and into my teenage years I just wanted someone to come after me. When I was mad I wanted someone to talk to me and break through the barrier. When I was in a bad mood, I wished someone would try to understand me and help me understand myself. So while I still yearn for those things, I will create what I crave and watch it transform their perspective and if I’m lucky maybe impact their trajectory. It’s not easy, nothing worth having ever is, however this is the joyful deepend. Thanks for being along for the swim friends!

[yrsonpurpose]

we won't know. but there will be signs. bonus ±

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Loss.

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[nu-kuya]

flat topper my beloved

[witsserviceablesubstitute]

I wish... idk, I am sad that a story can be so clear about the possibility of a romance between its same sex main characters and that interpretation still be erased.

A story that has Charles looking at Edwin like he hung the moon, yap about how Edwin and Crystal are alike, the camera lingering on his obvious discomfort at both Monty and the Cat King monopolizing Edwin (while showing him display no such anxiety about Edwin and Niko's growing closeness). The narrative winks at the audience about shipping Charles and Edwin, and also has there be clear visual parallels between the extent of Charles and Edwin's feelings for each other. Yet their potential and Charles queerness is erased by people whose job it is to analyse media.

The actor says outright that the door isn't closed on them, that Charles didn't reject Edwin, and that it is more a love story, yet that queer reading of Charles and his relationship with Edwin still gets erased.

I don't know what it would take for an industry to stop dismissing and running roughshod over queer interpretations that are not binary and basic, but I do know it has been a while since I felt the biphobia this keenly before. I hope the actor who plays Charles knows it's not on him, he did a great job.

Anyway, Charles is now my new favourite queer character. Take that press junket.

[luna-fortunaa]

I get eaten by the worms // and weird fishes!!

[waitineedaname]

feeling insane about the deep dream extra again. I like to make jokes about shen qingqiu seeing binghe hugging his corpse and deciding to fuck that man to qi deviation, but when I think about the emotions communicated in that moment it's so much more. shen qingqiu just got insight into a moment he wasn't around for, when binghe was grieving him so terribly, when binghe still didn't have answers for sqq's actions, when he kept reenacting a moment of nonsexual physical intimacy that left such a profound effect on his psyche

and shen qingqiu obviously can't change what happened in the past, but what he can do upon waking up is kiss binghe, press his hand to his beating heart, affirm (out loud!! a big deal for shen qingqiu!!!) that he wants him -- communicating with his actions that "I was gone then, but I'm here now, I'm alive, I won't be leaving, I love you and want you even when it hurts"

[ad1thi]

Justin baldoni decided to adapt It Ends With Us because he thought that stories about domestic violence, and specifically escaping and life beyond domestic violence deserved to be platformed.

Instead of being supported, he’s been mean girl’d by the cast; that’s treating the film like its this cutesy rom com : and I think this rly encapsulates everything that’s wrong with the book, and the fanbase it’s amassed

[jacquesthepigeon]

Help I was testing out the new desk fan I bought that has LED lights that give car headlights a run for their money but now they won’t turn off 🥲

[blackbatofel]

These two looking at each other LIKE THAT in front of the whole Justice League and the rest of the world.

[three-fold-symmetry]

He may need a cold shower. Because of the heat

[okaioh]

hermit photo after mcc :D

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Market based mistakes.

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[ms0milk]

thinking about mithrun dunmeshi who could incapacitate most opponents in hand-to-hand (update: he’s a trained knife-fighter!) but chooses to use extremely fastidious teleportation magic without blinking at how easy it would be to accidentally blow himself or everyone involved, friend or foe, all the way up

(and finding something in all of his lackthereof, to smile about here which only ever happens one more time SPARE me SPEAR me anything love this guy forever)

[whoopssim]

"they ask me what i smell like…i say me 🤷‍♀️"

pressedscott via IG

[luccacaca]

The tension between these two people is INSANE