#presidential pizza

[oli-b3rry]

OH MY GOD I FORGOT ABOUT THE POLL💔

[mo0nr1se]

How should American's feel when the leader of their nation joins a picket line... For something important?

Has Hunter been snorting the coca again?

#ASIF I know anything about anything

I don't

[astirysk2electricboogaloo]

[brenninthetaylorverse]

A list of random things think would kill/very seriously confuse a Victorian child:

Takis

The Josh Hutcherson whistle edit

The entire FNAF lore

Deep dish pizza

The presidential election campaign ads

Wendy Williams

A SpongeBob popsicle

Everything showers

Techno music

My strange addiction (The TLC show)

Golden Corall (or buffets in general)

The one chip challenge

The Savage love tiktok dance

Floptok

Cardi B

Trying to explain the reputation lore

Skibidi Toilet

Feel free to reblog with what you think would kill/confuse a Victorian child.

[cleolinda]

Re: Couch fucking

Since people saw “JD Vance fucked a couch” mentioned in the “Tampon Tim: He’ll stop the red wave” post and went “What? JD Vance fucked a couch?,” no, he did not fuck a couch in his youth. The rumor was started by a random shitpost on the service I will continue to call Twitter until the heat death of the universe:

(Archived by Snopes, now view-limited by the author)

@rickrudescalves

can't say for sure but he might be the first vp pick to have admitted in a ny times bestseller to fucking an inside-out latex glove shoved between two couch cushions (vance, hillbilly elegy, pp. 179-181)

7:58 PM • Jul 15, 2024 • 1.8M Views

No draft or edition of Vance’s book Hillbilly Elegy ever said any such thing, but the inclusion of page numbers made “JD Vance fucked a couch” look very truthy (file this away as a tactic to look for in other propaganda you see). Neither Vance nor the Trump campaign can fully deny this because that would only draw more attention to the concept of “Vice presidential candidate JD Vance fucked a couch.” In great frustration, a campaign spokesman has finally said,

"We're not going to talk about couches or coconuts or whatever weird fetish KamalaHQ is into. When we have something to say, we'll say loud and clear. If Kamala is a coward, we'll call her a coward. If Tim Walz is a liar, we'll call him a liar.”

JD Vance then proceeded to lie about Tim Walz’s 24-year military record, calling it “stolen valor.”

As much as people enjoyed Walz’s quip that he would love to debate Vance if Vance would be “willing to get off the couch,” I do agree that Democrats should not stoop to such Republican tactics as (off the top of my head)

Telling lies about presidential candidate John Kerry’s military service (which inspired the general term “swiftboating” “to describe an unfair or untrue political attack”)

Claiming that then-presidential candidate Barack Obama was born in Kenya and not an American citizen, which would disqualify him, leading to an entire “birther” movement headed by Donald Trump

Accusing Democrats of trafficking children in the basement of a pizza parlor that had no basement, leading one man who sincerely believed this to “[travel] to Comet Ping Pong to investigate the conspiracy and [fire] a rifle inside the restaurant to break the lock on a door to a storage room during his search”

Claiming that North American schools keep kitty litter on hand for students who “identify as cats,” a “joke” meant to target protections for transgender students

And, as mentioned, splitting hairs over exactly what rank Tim Walz had vs what he retired at, elevating this to a far more serious accusation of stolen valor. In fairness, this is probably revenge for the couch thing.

So yes, I agree, we shouldn’t use the same tactics that the Republicans have been using for decades. It’s tasteless and it does not make us look better. I would perhaps remind you of the saying “Live by the sword, die by the sword,” but yes, we should stop confusing people into thinking that JD Vance fucked a couch. No couch was ever fucked by JD Vance. I endorse this message.

[tiny-buzz]

± 13 FEELS ONLY HIGH SCHOOL TEENS KNOW ±

° SHARE THIS POST ‡ IT COULD SAVE A LIFE TONIGHT °

1) Secret stash of Nacho Cheese Bugles in your locker, unknown even to bae.

2) That feel when a school improvement which everybody knows is stupid is instantly vandalized to the point of destruction.

3) Blink-182 as your ringtone for when Bae calls. Green Day as your ringtone for when back-up Bae calls. Red Hot Chili Peppers for when your step-dad Randy calls. He calls constantly and you never pick up so you can listen to the cool, modern music of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, the band that all teens love.

4) Local news weatherman comes to your Fellowship Of Christian Athletes after-school sesh to talk to you about how things “might get overcast in a teen’s life” sometimes, but there’s an “80% chance of kicking drugs for good when you turn to methadone and prayer coupled with rigorous physical activity, like swimming”

5) That feel when best friend gives you good news: you made the team!

6) Army recruiter standing outside cafeteria tells you to do a pushup, but the only thing you want to "push up" are your stats in your favorite video game, Digimon.

7) That feel when no pizza and homework and bae.

8) That feel when a kid literally gets put into a locker and the fire department has to come to literally cut him out, which takes two hours.

9) Senior prank. . . . . . . enough said.

10) That feel when another student body president's empty promise to make Pet Dances into a reality

11) Substitute teacher makes you watch "My Cousin Vinny" teacher comes back the next day and you watch "My Cousin Vinny" again

12) That first time you heard Bohemian Rhapsody. Mind = blown.

13) Bae ate all your pizza. You post about this, on Tumblr.com.

14) Why does the pizza always have to be square? Student body presidential candidate promises circle pizza, fails to deliver... AGAIN.

15) Janitor looks sad, sick.

16) Constantly tempted to drive your convertible filled with friends at high speed along Dead Man's Curve

17) Beef stew for lunch? Again?

18) Everyone has faint memory of kid who accidentally threw frisbee into woods during out-door gym class, went to retrieve it, and was never seen again

19) Caught forging bae's mom's signature on failing report card, again.

20) Pension funds are missing

21) Getting detentions for thinking about bae and BH ideas in class.

22) No vending machines because Randy punched one and stole all the Fritos and got blood everywhere and then joined the army

[in-my-loki-feels]

🤓 spontaneous hug / unexpected + dealer's choice for the pairing!

I'm so glad you gave me dealer's choice because as soon as I saw this prompt on the list, I had an idea for a platonic hug and you gave me the chance to write it!

Under 1k this time! Another little scene from Bad Things 'verse. (Candy Corn is the pet snake.)

Don pushed the mower across the lawn, trying to ignore Loki, who lurked in the shade of the open garage. Don recognized the look on his face all too well. The only thing keeping Loki from pouncing was Sean and Kevin’s imminent return. It was pizza night—which Loki detested but had stopped complaining about once Don started offering him a separate dish—so as soon as the boys got home from their friend’s house, Don would order the pizzas. 

He’d hoped to be done and able to clean up before then, but he knew the minute he stepped inside the house, all bets were off. He swiped an arm across his forehead to clear the sweat and turned the mower to begin the next pass. Farther down the street, two small figures were sprinting towards them. He let go of the mower’s handle and the engine cut off. 

“Dad, dad!” 

The excitement in Sean's voice kept Don from panicking, even though the volume of his yell and the speed with which they were approaching had his Dad senses on alert. 

“Daaad!” Kevin also yelled. They were running down the sidewalk, backpacks nearly falling off because they refused to wear both shoulder straps. It wasn’t cool, apparently. They crossed the yard at an angle, rather than take the driveway, and dropped their bags on the grass. Don winced on behalf of the textbooks inside. 

“Did you know?” Sean asked, once he'd caught his breath. “Did you know he was coming to the school today?” 

“Who?” Don asked. He shot a confused look over his shoulder. Loki had gotten up from his chair and was strolling closer with a suspiciously pleased look on his face. 

“Loki!” the boys yelled together. Sean continued, “He came to school today and everybody got pulled out of class to go to an assembly! And he gave a speech and then he asked for a tour and he came to my classroom!”

“Mine too! And the Secret Service was there too! They had these really cool sunglasses and guns.” Kevin’s eyes gleamed. Don wished he would find something less violent to be fascinated with.

“And then we got to go outside and see the armored cars!” Sean said. “But he said there wasn’t time for everyone so he was only picking a couple of classes—”

“—so he picked both of ours!” Kevin screeched. “It was so cool! I got to sit in the driver’s seat!”

Another glance at Loki showed he was basking in their praises. Don tried to picture it: Loki rolling up with the full presidential motorcade—how did they even organize that outside of the capital?—and swanning into the school, issuing orders. It wasn’t hard to imagine the panic it must have sent the school administration into. 

“That sounds pretty cool,” he said, once it was clear his sons were waiting for a reaction. 

“Duh,” Kevin said. “Loki told Mrs. Sanderson that he was only visiting one school per state and ours was the one he picked. And then he made her stay in the classroom because Bobby got sick, which meant he missed the whole tour!” His grin stretched ear to ear. 

Bobby wasn’t enough of a bully for the teachers to do something about, but he wasn’t exactly making friends in Kevin’s class. After making fun of Candy Corn’s name, he and Kevin had almost gotten into a fight, which resulted in another note brought home from Mrs. Sanderson. 

The fact that Bobby mysteriously became ill and couldn’t join in the fun wasn’t escaping Don’s notice. Loki’s grin matched Kevin’s. 

“Thank you, Loki!” Sean suddenly shouted and darted towards Loki before Don could stop him. Kevin was right behind him, echoing, “Thank you!” 

Both boys collided with Loki in the kind of tackling hug that usually knocked Don back a step. He watched Loki freeze in place as their arms went around his hips, his own hands hovering just above their shoulders. It was over before Don had a chance to call them off. Sean and Kevin beamed up at Loki before running for the house. 

“Your backpacks—” 

The front door slammed shut behind them. Don sighed and turned to Loki, who radiated discomfort. 

“Sorry, they get so excited sometimes, they don’t think.” 

“It’s…fine.” Loki lowered his hands, but his eyes were hidden behind sunglasses so Don wasn’t exactly sure what he was thinking. 

“That was pretty nice of you to visit their school. Too bad Bobby missed it.” 

Loki’s lips twitched, a hint of his previous humor returning. “Yes, such a shame.” 

Don knew another hug was out of the question, so he settled for walking over and pressing a kiss to Loki’s cheek. 

“Thanks for making their week special.” Loki’s attention snapped to him in a way that sent a frisson of excitement down Don’s spine. He quickly backed out of grabbing range. 

“Pizza night,” he reminded them both. “But if you wanna skip the recounting of everything at max volume, you don’t have to stay.” Don thought it only fair to offer an out, after the hugs forced onto him. 

“It’s fine,” Loki said again, sounding more like his usual self. He went back to his chair in the garage but only seemed half-focused on Don as he finished up the lawn. 

Later, as Don alternated admonishing the boys for talking with their mouths full and talking too loudly, he kept glancing at Loki, wondering at what point it’d be too much. But Loki didn’t leave, he simply watched Sean and Kevin ramble with a mixture of curiosity and amusement in his expression. Don hid a smile by looking down at his plate and decided the boys could carry on a little longer before he cut them off.

From this game. Other fills here.

[catindabag]

TBOSAS on Crack short take (50)

*The Presidential Pizza Truck Incident* Read [this] first.

Persephone: Yo, guys, we should totally visit our Tributes right now.

Florus: Like right now, right now?

Persephone: Yes. Right now.

Coryo: But Price, it’s the middle of the night and we’re currently having our super secret ✨slumber party✨ in the Presidential Palace.

Lysistrata: We’re also wearing pajama onesies and fluffy bunny slippers.

Florus: And don’t forget that there are a dozen surveillance cameras surrounding the Tributes’ enclosure.

Juno: As well as rabid raccoons.

Persephone: But-

Festus: Percy Baby, think about it. We can’t just end our super secret ✨slumber party✨ without Ravinstill’s permission.

Persephone: But Festus Baby, Mizzen told me to secretly visit him today.🥺

Festus: Why though? Why not later when the sun is up?

Persephone: Because he’s my Tribute-

Livia: Just tell us the whole truth, Price.🙄

Persephone: *sighs* Fine. That kid wants me to smuggle him 20 boxes of bacon pizza and 10 gallons of millk without anyone else knowing.

Coryo: Why would he need that much food? Is he feeding a village?🤨

Persephone: He’s hungry and he’s not willing to share.

Hilarius: So your Tribute is a little greedy gremlin who has a Tartarus like stomach?

Persephone: Yes. But he also said that Reaper and Treech stole and ate his shares the other day-

Vipsania: That’s a lie. Treech would never do that.

Persephone: How would you know-

Vipsania: Because Treech told me that your little gremlin stole all of Lamina’s cookies and ate half of their shares the other day.

Coryo: Lucy Gray even sang a little song about how Mizzen took Wovey’s last cookie without remorse.

Hilarius: The audacity!

Persephone: But guys, I made a promise! I gave my word! We even did the sacred pinky swear!!😭

Livia: So?🙄💅

Persephone: And the pizza guy is also waiting for us outside.

Festus: Nice one, Babe! I want a slice-

Persephone: But I haven’t payed him yet, and I currently have no money with me-

Florus: You haven’t payed?!

Coryo: So who the f*ck is gonna pay for those pizzas?!

Persephone: Um- well, funny story but I kind of accidentally told the pizza guy that President Ravinstill will be the one to pay for them.

Androcles: And the milk?!

Persephone: Plus the milk.☹️

Androcles: Percy, think about our reputation!

Persephone: We have no reputation!

Florus: Then think about our poor class fund!

Persephone: I have nothing to do with that!

Sejanus: Then think about my perfectly planned royal wedding with Coryo!

Persephone: Your wedding with Snow has nothing to do with this!

Sejanus: Yes, it does!

Persephone: Fine! I’m really sorry! I’m just baby!😭

Hilarius: We should tell Felix!

Androcles: Let’s tell Felix!

Lysistrata: Where is Felix anyway?

Coryo: He’s currently inside his gold encrusted bathroom crying.

Lysistrata: Can I ask why?

Coryo: Dill told him that they can’t be friends anymore because of his “wretched” family name.

Clemensia: Reaper also told him to f*ck off and die.��

Palmyra: I thought that everyone told him to f*ck off and die-

Juno: Don’t make it worse, Monty.

Sejanus: How about we just pay the pizza guy with my father’s golden credit card and visit our Tributes later?😀

Androcles: How about we just steal the pizza guy’s truck, drive it to the zoo, and continue our super secret slumber party there?

Sejanus: Andie, that’s madness-

Persephone: Andie, that’s genius!!

Felix: *slams the bathroom door open* Let’s do it!!

Clemensia: Felix?!

Coryo: Are you done crying, Class Pres?

Felix: I’m still crying but now I have a plan!😭

Coryo: What plan?

Felix: It’s called ✨Operation End The Hunger Games Forever To Restore Felix Ravinstill’s Good Name✨!!

Coryo: That’s too long. Change it.

Felix: I’ll change it later, Snowy! But first, let’s steal that pizza guy’s truck!

Everyone: Yeah!!🥳

*Meanwhile, at Dean Highbottom’s mansion*

Casca: *mumbling some weird sh*t while asleep* Oh, Crassus, my love, my Snow Bae, let’s name our 7th child after you again.😴🤤

Prof.Sickle: *calls Casca* 🎶Ring-ring, ring-ring, pick up the phone or I’ll quit!🎶

Casca: *wakes up* Ugh!😩 Who the f*ck is calling me now? *answers the call* Hello? Crassus? Is this you, my love?

Prof.Sickle: Go watch the zoo surveillance footage right now.

Casca: It’s the middle of the night, Sickle. I’m not doing it-

Prof.Sickle: For once in your life, Casca, listen to me!

Casca: No! My beloved Crassus and I are currently busy naming our 7th child!

Prof.Sickle: 7th child?!

Casca: We are planning to name our little newborn baby ✨Crassus Casca Cassian Highbottom-Snow✨.🥰

Prof.Sickle: What?!

Casca: Do you like it?

Prof.Sickle: Casca, wake up and watch the surveillance footage!

Casca: No!

Prof.Sickle: Dean Casca Highbottom!

Casca: Fine!😫 I’m watching the damn footage right now!

Prof.Sickle: Did you see them?

Casca: See who?

Prof.Sickle: Just open your eyes!

Casca: Seriously, Sickle, there’s nothing- Why is there a f*ckin’ pizza truck parked outside the Tributes’ enclosure?!

Prof.Sickle: I told you-

Casca: And they’re all wearing pajama onesies!

Prof.Sickle: That’s not the point!

Casca: Exclusive pajama onesies with matching fluffy bunny slippers!!

Prof.Sickle: Are you drunk right now?!

Casca: I have to go, Sickle! My beloved Crassus is waiting for me at the zoo!

Prof.Sickle: That’s Coriolanus!

Casca: My darling Crassus, my love, I’m coming!!🏃

Prof.Sickle: F*ck.

[werewolf-transgenderism]

genuinely astonishing to me how many people do not seem to be able to grasp that jill stein is a serial grifter. like girl serious candidates for office do not only show up 6-9 months before a presidential election or raise millions of dollars for a recount that never happened or abandon a social media platform for seven years between elections or have a policy list that is reminiscent of a kid running for student body president saying they’re gonna get you free pizza all year if they win. like I have to assume these people are too young to have seen her grifting firsthand in 2016 but like come on.

[scoops-aboy86]

Fuck it, I’m posting this.

🔞 Glory Days, Glory Nights

Eddie’s favorite thing to do is to ask Steve about his glory days as a jock. Ask him about running laps up and down the basketball court. Ask him about doing push-ups and sit ups, or climbing that rope for the fucking Presidential Fitness Test that, once upon a time, he had aced with flying colors. 

Ask him if his coach or teammates would recognize him now, stuffed to the brim and still going, his jaw working mechanically as Eddie feeds him out of his pants and a formerly nice button-down shirt. (It’s drizzled with food stains and gaping at the buttons, truly not long for this world.)

Ask him if he can get in the pool without making a splash anymore. Sit without his gut forcing his legs to loll apart like a hungry slut. 

Steve pretends to protest. Says he hasn’t truly let himself go, that he could stop whenever he wants. 

“But you haven’t,” Eddie points out. “You, my greedy, needy sweetheart, take everything I give you.” Indulgently, and meeting no resistance just as predicted, he lays a single potato chip on Steve’s tongue and chucks him gently under the chin to close Steve’s mouth for him. “Did you know that you jiggle with every step, Stevie?”

“No…” He is perfectly aware of it. He relishes in it, and the way it keeps his boyfriend’s eyes glued to him with every motion. There’s power in that, same as the way he could say a single word now and Eddie would stop teasing immediately. 

Not that Steve wants it to stop, not right now. He still has buttons, for one thing. 

Eddie gives him a slow, predatory smile. “Maybe the reason you never put the breaks on is because you don’t want to. You love this, don’t you Big Boy?”

And Steve, his body wider and softer than the first time Eddie had called him that, whines. “I…”

“Shhh, it’s okay,” Eddie coos, crouching down before him with a hand on each of Steve’s knees. The next thing he places in Steve’s mouth is a cookie, perfectly alternating between salty and sweet, crispy and soft. “I know what you need.” And then, while Steve chews, his hands gliding up from knees to broad thighs straining against dress pants that Steve really outgrew a few weeks ago, he adds, “There’s a good boy.”

The words make Steve shudder and gasp, a sharp intake of breath, and—

Ping!

“Eds,” Steve moans. His shirt is gapping even wider now, pulled tightly as it is across the widest point of his belly. The dip of his navel had been evident enough before, but now it’s laid completely bare. “I’m close—”

Another bite, this time savory. A meat lover’s pizza ordered by anyone else would have been an inconsequential choice; with Eddie, just hearing him place the order for delivery over the phone a mere few hours ago had felt like foreplay. Having it shoved in his mouth now, when he hadn’t even registered Eddie reaching for it, is heavenly. One bite with toppings and one bite of crust, just like Steve likes it, and even though it’s a big slice he makes quick work of it. 

His pants button goes next, relieving so much pressure all at once that Steve moans through a second slice. A single drop of sauce slides from his chin and onto his straining shirt, joining the dribbles of marinara sauce from the mozzarella sticks and grease from the first pizza. 

“So much for that jock metabolism,” Eddie says faux-lightly, striking a chord  that makes Steve squirm in his chair. “I guess you got a little too used to eating whatever you wanted without any consequences, huh sweetheart?” He sighs and shakes his head, then uses his thumb to wipe the sauce from Steve’s chin and in past his wet lips. 

The way Steve latches onto the digit, sucking and rolling his tongue around it, makes Eddie’s already dark gaze pulse with heat. 

“Greedy,” he murmurs, sliding his hand free. 

“Eddie,” Steve whines. He pouts, and when that only gets him another smirk his own eyes narrow. Shifting impatiently, he takes a deep breath, really fills that diaphragm, and—

Pop, pop, pa-pop!

The rest of the buttons except a few closer to the collar vanish, leaving his bloated gut exposed. For Eddie, always for Eddie—to see the expanse of chest hair and thick treasure trail following the equally thick roll of his heavy belly, the old bite scars, the newer stretch marks standing out in a mix of silver and red. 

“Oh, Steve.” The rumble of Eddie’s voice is approaching reverence as his calloused musician’s fingers slide up to Steve’s ruined waistband, even as his other hand reaches for the nearest can of pop and cracks it open. “Stevie, baby, you’re killing me.” He brings the can to Steve’s lips and tips it slowly to let him drink. “What would your teammates say, honey? You’ll never be able to make the winning shot like this.”

Steve finishes the can and lets out a burp from all the carbonation as he sits back. “I, I still could.” And he’s not lying, he thinks he could still manage, like… a free throw shot. As long as he’s not encumbered by defense and doesn’t have to do much dribbling. His aim is still fairly good, though god knows it’s been a while since he’s been on a court. 

“Hmm, you think so?” Eddie pretends to consider, then gives Steve’s stomach a condescending pat. “Next time we’ll do this in your old uniform, really put that theory to the test. You think you could still make the shot after a halftime snack this size?”

Another slice of pizza is offered, and Steve immediately takes a bite with another moan. 

“You like that idea, baby? Wanna put how insatiable you can be on display, for everyone to see? What if you fumble the ball—”

Fumbling is football, Steve wants to say, but his mouth is full and his eyes are half rolled back in his head and he’s mindlessly rocking his hips just a little bit, just to get whatever friction he can against his aching dick. Gravity and the press of his own underbelly is doing wonders. 

“—And bend over to get it, and those little green shorts just can’t take it anymore, Stevie? What if everyone sees your greedy hole, begging to be fucked?”

Rocking more than just a little bit, now. The chair gives a creak but that only spurs both of them on. 

Eddie leans in and all but purrs in his ear, “Or what if it already has? What if I fucked you while you finished your dessert, made you come as the cherry on top, and let you go out there still wet and leaking from—”

Steve shudders, and for the first time in a long while his mouth is completely empty as he cries out, painting the inside of his briefs with just how much Eddie knows how to press his buttons. Buttons he hadn’t even known he’d had until, relaxing into peacetime once the Upside Down had been sealed for good, he’d put on some pounds and Eddie had gone from not respecting his personal space to touching him at every possible opportunity. 

And it’s snowballed into this, coming untouched and wanting to moan from that just as much as the satisfying ache of being filled. 

“Jesus H. Christ,” Eddie mutters, awed, and swoops in for a frantic kiss. His hands are already scrambling at his belt. “Christ, Stevie, you’re so good, I can’t believe you just—Fuck, baby, are you ready for your treat?”

Dazed, but still salivating as he fixes his eyes on the rapidly revealed prize, Steve nods. Eddie’s cock is rosy and weeping, and that’s the real cherry on top, one that he swallows down as urgently as though his own satisfaction still depended on it. 

Well. It does, just not in an orgasm way, this time. He craves the taste and the feeling of his mouth being full, of being used. Eddie never disappoints and this is no exception, feeding his cock to Steve like the delicacy it is, letting him lick and suck and moan and swallow it down with the same single-minded devotion as he had everything else tonight, all while pretending he still has the physical prowess of an athletic teen when, really, his stamina now lies in things like this.

Being with Eddie has opened so many doors, even as some of them are gradually becoming harder to fit through. One thing Steve has learned is that he fucking loves giving head, just like he’d always loved going down on girls and wringing pleasure out of them with his lips and tongue. 

When Eddie comes down his throat with a choked groan, pulling his hair just the way Steve likes, bending Steve over his own gut to press his nose hard into Eddie’s comparatively bony pelvis… When Eddie comes, Steve swallows and swallows, taking it all down even though he’s so full because he’s earned this. Just from the number of times he’s almost died, alone, but especially because of tonight, because he’d been good.

“Fuuuck, so good,” Eddie gasps, carding his fingers through Steve’s sweaty, disheveled hair. Fingertips drift down to Steve’s jaw, massaging gently on both sides when he finishes with Eddie’s spent cock and lets his mouth hang empty. After a moment he tips his head to nuzzle at Eddie’s hip and the touch returns to his hair, combing and scratching gently at his scalp while he comes back to himself. 

It takes longer for Steve to catch his breath these days, but his inhales and exhales even out all the same. 

“Was it good for you, sweetheart?”

“Mm,” Steve hums, mouthing at his skin where it’s visible within the V of Eddie’s open fly, commando beneath his skinny jeans. “Good… So good. Always good, Eds.”

There’s a smile in his voice when he replies, though Steve’s eyelids are too heavy to confirm if that matches his mouth right now. “Excellent. Ready to get up?”

“Down,” mumbles Steve, pouting, because he wants to lie down. Wants Eddie to get him out of what’s left of these clothes and hold him while he sleeps this off. Maybe get off one more time first, if he can stay awake long enough, but if not there’s always after a nap and time to digest. 

Eddie chuckles. “What goes up must come down, Stevie. Here we go…”

And when they’re on the bed, naked and facing each other and Eddie jerking furiously at him with a spit-slicked palm, whispering such sweet things about how perfect and sexy and amazing he is, how Eddie ‘The Freak’ never thought he’d get to have something, someone so sweet and soft and all his… 

After Steve comes, amid ah ah ah’s and groans of pleasure, Eddie cleans him up—and this is Steve’s favorite thing, or at least one of many. The care shown to every ridge of scar tissue, every crease and roll as Eddie works him over with a wet washcloth, wiping away sweat and crumbs just as much as come. The way every stretch mark gets a soft kiss and an almost proprietary murmur of affection. The reverence of his touch, bordering on worshipful, that fills a hole Steve’s absent parents and high school popularity had never even touched. 

“I love you,” Steve mumbles, after. 

“I know,” Eddie replies with a wink.

“Nerd,” Steve laughs. Or maybe he doesn’t; maybe he’s already drifted off into the warm arms of the inevitable food coma, and that last word is just the first note of his dream. 

Either way, he will sleep, and Eddie will hold him, and they’ll do another scene like this again in a week or two… or whenever one of them feels that decadent itch. 

[oli-b3rry]

Announcing the 2024 Roblox presidential elections!

voting will start tommorow on the 14th at 1pm GMT on twitter!!

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Mark Sumner at Daily Kos;

Weird is not necessarily a bad thing. BBQ chicken pizza is weird. Portland is weird. Aubrey Plaza is weird. The opening ceremonies to the Paris Olympics were weird in the best, most French way imaginable. 

But JD Vance is just … weird. And not in a good way. Weird enough that Sen. Chuck Schumer thinks that Vance is one of the best things Donald Trump has ever done. For Democrats, that is. Weird enough that Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz says that people are “a little bit creeped out” by Vance, even if they are ”not afraid.” Weird enough that after Trump whined about all the money he had spent fighting President Joe Biden before Biden passed the torch to Vice President Kamala Harris, Trump may now have to whine about how much it will cost to replace all that Trump/Vance merchandise when he gets rid of his extremely poor choice. As Schumer said Sunday, on “Face the Nation,” Vance is an “incredibly bad choice.” “I’ll bet President Trump is sitting there, scratching his head, and wondering, ‘Why did I pick this guy?’” said the Senate majority leader. “The choice may be one of the best things he ever did for Democrats.”

[...] Weirdness has become a theme in the campaign. As Democratic strategist Tim Hogan points out, “weird” is not meant as not a knock on people who are quirky or different.  “It perfectly describes the uneasiness people feel,” Hogan said. “It’s how people who don’t live and breathe politics every day react to hearing the Republican vice presidential candidate denigrate people without children.” Vance’s long-standing obsession with “cat ladies” is weird. But the extremist right-wing natalism is just one of Vance’s many weird views that include opposing abortion even in cases of rape and incest, raising taxes on people who don’t have children, giving more votes to people with children, and making no-fault divorce illegal. And then there are the rumors about Vance’s attraction to couches.

One fact is true: The Trump-Vance ticket is the ticket of weirdness. Vote Harris to keep America sane!

[dontmeantobepoliticalbut]

It’s common for politicians on the campaign trail to make a show of sampling the local cuisine to look more like an “everyman.” So when Donald Trump was in Philadelphia, of course, he got a cheesesteak. But then, he did something unusual.

Trump had stopped by Tony and Nick’s Steaks Saturday to grab one of Philly’s famous sandwiches. An interviewer asked him about it, and the convicted felon contradicted himself in his answer.

“Ohhh, that was good,” Trump said. “I haven’t sampled it yet, but I will.”

Why would Trump answer the question in that way? Clearly, he wouldn’t know the sandwich was “good” unless he had tried some, but maybe he just loved the experience of having his order taken. And why not eat a hot, melty sandwich right away? It doesn’t taste as good when it’s cold.

But the presumptive Republican presidential nominee has always been weird about food. He loves eating fast food such as McDonald’s because he reportedly has a fear of being poisoned and thinks those places are “safer.” He’s posted staged photos that call into question whether he eats fried chicken with a knife and fork, or even at all. In 2011, he was famously called out by Jon Stewart for eating chain-store pizza with a knife and fork. Maybe Trump didn’t want to make a mess by eating a hot, melty cheesesteak.

Or maybe he forgot if he ate it or not. Trump has shown numerous signs of cognitive decline in recent months, whether it’s fumbling through speeches at rallies, ranting about boats and sharks, or making bizarre, nonsensical claims about migrants. He continues to brag about acing a cognitive test, but he changes the details every time he relates the story. MeidasTouch even made a supercut of several of his gaffes, including him mixing up Nancy Pelosi and Nikki Haley.

Maybe Trump ought to be a little more careful taking shots at Joe Biden and claiming he’ll be on drugs at Thursday’s presidential debate. After all, Biden’s pretty clear about what he enjoys eating.

[mariacallous]

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. won’t be on the presidential debate stage next week to answer questions, but he is fielding them on TikTok Live.

On Thursday night, a group of TikTok creators livestreamed a town hall with Kennedy titled “The Sickening of America.” For around an hour, Kennedy, a noted anti-vaccine conspiracist, answered questions from the creators and their followers on food and vaccine safety. Kennedy spoke at length about the unfounded claims that vaccines and gluten could cause or worsen autism.

It was the second town hall the long-shot independent candidate has done with TikTokker Tiffany Cianci and her community. Cianci has become known for organizing livestreams with third-party campaigns and other creators over the past year. Thursday’s event was the fourth event, and though it reached just a few thousand viewers, Cianci says they’ve received hundreds of thousands of views in the past.

“Our very first one had almost 100,000 [viewers], and we only had two days notice,” says Cianci, who has more than 150,000 followers. “That was our first interview with Robert F. Kennedy. And we didn't really know what we were doing at that point. We were flying blind.”

While Cianci handles most of the logistics, other creators are invited on as panelists and to ask their own questions to the candidates. The group of creators hosting Thursday’s town hall included two wellness accounts, a conspiracy channel, and a pair of homesteading creators.

The TikTok town halls are not unlike the town halls many candidates participate in along the IRL campaign trail. But instead of answering questions in pizza shops and Veterans halls, they operate more like a giant Zoom call with technical difficulties and all. And unlike televised town halls with news networks, it’s the creators vetting questions and moderating the conversation, instead of journalists.

Few of the creators have professional backgrounds in politics, but they share a skepticism of politicans and institutions. These virtual events are meant to challenge candidates like Kennedy and provide “real people” an opportunity to hold a potential future president accountable ahead of the election.

“The point of this is to have a conversation with politicians on a mainstream stage where they come directly to us on our platforms, rather than moderated by mainstream media and mainstream questions that are filtered and screened before they talk about,” one of the creators known as @cancelthisclothingcompany said on TikTok before Kennedy spoke.

Cianci, who used to be a franchise owner for a toddler gym in Maryland called Little Gym, first met Kennedy after his campaign reached out to schedule a conversation with her on private equity last year. The Kennedy campaign recorded their discussion and posted clips of it across social media. When Cianci and her fellow creators decided to start holding these town halls, she reached back out to Kennedy’s team for the first one.

Since Kennedy first announced his campaign last year, he has gone on countless podcasts that have allowed him to speak on his controversial views for hours without fact-checking or disagreement, while platforming conspiracies. Despite the group’s plans to hold candidates’ feet to the fire, Kennedy’s concerning remarks went unchallenged. Instead the panelists agreed with much, if not all, of what he said.

“I think it’s important that presidential candidates take the time to speak to Americans without the mainstream media controlling the conversation,” Kennedy said in a campaign email announcing the event Thursday night.

Green Party nominee Jill Stein and Libertarian Party nominee Chase Oliver, who have both appeared in the livestream town halls, agreed.

“This is like motherhood and apple pie,” Stein tells WIRED. “This is what campaigning should be. Political dialog should be open with candidates. I think the less filter, the better.”

“I want to hear directly from as many voters as possible, and platforms like a town hall just allow me to do that,” says Oliver. “It also allows me to demonstrate that, unscripted, off the cuff, I can come up with articulate responses and speak to my platform and speak to those concerns that those voters have without the need being scripted or on a teleprompter like the major party candidates.”

Without receiving the constant horse-race coverage like major-party candidates, third-party campaigns have sought attention through less traditional means for decades. In 2024 however, it’s more difficult than ever to reach vast amounts of voters even online. The content moderation policies and changing leadership at platforms like Facebook and X balkanized social media, causing users to flee to new platforms. The filterless nature and the potential to reach sympathetic audiences is what makes these town halls attractive to candidates like Stein and Kennedy.

Other similar events are springing up as well. After Cianci’s first Kennedy town hall, Kennedy and Trump agreed to a similar format on X’s Spaces platform. The conversation would be part of a series called “the People’s Town Hall” moderated by NewsNation hosts and journalists. Viewers will be able to submit questions moderators may select before and during the event, according to Axios. No final dates have been set.

Cianci also says that the creators are open to non-third-party candidates as well. “We are hopeful that the Trump campaign is going to come on. We have been told the Biden campaign won’t, but we are hopeful that the Trump campaign will,” says Cianci. “We are not exclusionary. We want every single third party, a major party, represented. We are a nonpartisan group. We argue with each other, constantly, constantly.”

The Biden and Trump campaigns did not respond to requests for comment.

“Younger people aren't getting their news and want to reach their politicians in new ways,” Cianci says. “Understanding that is key to changing things for the better, because this is the only path we have.”

[anchesetuttinoino]

“L’Aifa riconosce finalmente quello che qualsiasi persona con la capacità di leggere una scheda tecnica avrebbe dovuto capire dall’inizio, da quello sciagurato dicembre 2020, quando, osannato come un Messia, il cosiddetto vaccino anticovid è arrivato.

Si trattava e si tratta di un farmaco sperimentale, sperimentato per un tempo assolutamente insufficiente, con delle sperimentazioni in doppio cieco che invece si vedevano benissimo, e che non aveva scritto in nessun punto della scheda tecnica di avere un qualche valore per evitare la trasmissione della malattia. Il cosiddetto green pass non aveva nessun senso. La gioia isterica con cui molti sprovveduti controllavano o si facevano controllare il green pass, non aveva nessun senso. Non aveva nessun senso l’isterico e ignobile odio scatenato contro di noi abbastanza intelligenti da capire l’inutilità e la pericolosità di questo cosiddetto vaccino.

Non avevano nessun senso le squallide e violente parole di David Parenzo che invitava a sputare sulla nostra pizza, Selvaggia Lucarelli che ci augurava di diventare poltiglia verde e un tale Andrea Scanzi che si augurava di vederci morire. Esigo le scuse di Mario Draghi, per le sue ridicole parole: «Muori e fai morire», e soprattutto per le vessazioni indecenti a chi rifiutava un intruglio privo di capacità di immunizzare, per aver costretto innumerevoli persone che adesso hanno effetti collaterali spaventosi a inocularsi questa roba per poter lavorare o salire sul mezzo pubblico. Muori e fai morire e se non muori ti faccio 100 euro di multa. Esiste un qualsiasi provvedimento di qualsiasi personaggio politico di qualsiasi epoca che raggiunga il livello di ridicolo dei 100 euro di Draghi per chi non muore?

Esigo le scuse degli Ordini dei Medici e in particolare del presidente dell’Ordine dei Medici di Torino dottor Guido Giustetto, esigo le sue scuse personalmente, perché il dottor Giustetto con commovente sprezzo del ridicolo ha messo la sua firma sotto una Pec che mi ingiungeva di farmi iniettare per immunizzarmi farmaci incapaci di immunizzare, quindi neanche lui nonostante la laurea in medicina è capace di leggere la scheda tecnica di un farmaco. Esigo le sue scuse personali per essersi permesso anche un richiamo in quanto, anche da sospesa in quanto non inoculata, stavo continuando a fare telemedicina.

Difficile infettare qualcuno da un’altra parte dell'Italia attraverso un computer. Quindi a questo punto è evidente che le regole contro i medici che rifiutavano la cosiddetta immunizzazione, non erano per la salvaguardia della salute pubblica, ma per la persecuzione del dissidente costretto alla fame. Questo è quanto di più ignobile i presidenti degli ordini potessero fare. Le alternative sono due: o i presidenti degli ordini dei medici hanno deficit cognitivi per cui non sono in grado di leggere la scheda tecnica di un farmaco, oppure stavano eseguendo ordini. Esigo le scuse del presidente della Repubblica Sergio Mattarella per non aver difeso la libertà più elementare, quella del proprio corpo, libertà che molte dittature hanno osato ledere, come sarebbe stato suo dovere, anzi per aver dichiarato ufficialmente che a quelle libertà non bisognava appellarsi. Esigo le sue scuse al popolo italiano e anche le sue dimissioni sarebbero un gesto perbene.”

D.ssa Silvana De Mari

(La Verità -15 Agosto 2024)

[weirdsatellites]

Manifest #504 from SBIRS GEO-5 (EXPERIMENTAL) 1. Obscure Pelotons 2. Grotto of Pizzas 3. Presidential Dancers