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I really wonder if trauma theorists who say things like "Humans are the only animal that will be in a fright state when physically safe" or "the rest of the animal kingdom doesn't get PTSD" have ever, like
Do you think they've actually ever met an animal?
#staranise original#psychology#child abuse tw#ptsd tw#animal cruelty tw#so much of what we know about the nervous system and behaviour comes from animal studies!!!#the physiological toll of even fairly brief upsetting events on baby rats is evident for the rest of their lives#my cat has been spoiled like a princess for a decade straight#and if you reach out to pet the top of her head with your hand palm-down she WILL smack you#no matter how happy she is with the rest of the interaction#she LOVES being petted on the head if you approach with your hand behind her ears#seeing that A L W A Y S causes her to react out of sheer reflex#even with me#tell me that's not a trauma response#actually don't#I need to go wrap presents
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Some things never change even across the multiverse
#wade and logan and the ever-present undeniable tension between them#they're bound to feel the pull in every reality#they complete each other#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool 3#xmen origins#wade wilson#james logan howlett#poolverine#deadclaws#peanutbub#old man yaoi#imagine your otp#otp writing prompts#marvel memes#mcu avengers edits#ryan reynolds#hugh jackman#deadpool x wolverine#mischievous thunder
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I was talking and I mentioned that I have my old Game Boy and original Pokemon cartridge. I said, "I think they still work."
I was told, "The internal batteries on the Game Boy cartridges have run out. They're all dead."
"Oh," I said, trying not to show how crestfallen I was. I felt like I was losing nerd cred for not knowing that, although I never kept up with that type of info anyway. I'm here for the fantasy and imaginative aspects of games, and tend not to follow the competitive or technical details.
I tried not to feel anything as I went home. If they were real animals, I reminded myself, I would have had to say goodbye long ago.
But like so many other people, Pokemon was my childhood. It was all I thought about and dreamed about, and the closest thing I could imagine to heartbreak was the knowledge that they weren't real. I spent nearly all my time writing longhand self-insert Pokemon fanfiction--far more than I spent actually playing the game. My Pokemon were with me in my imagination wherever I went. I started playing Pokemon Blue when I was 5, and the last time I had played it was probably when I was 9 or 10. I remembered I had turned it on again one more time after that, not to play it, but to look at my childhood Pokemon.
It was during high school, after a move overseas that completely upended my life, and I was struggling with the crushing blow of being taken away from everything I knew and trying to make sense of anything (least of all adolescence) in another language. All I wanted was to go back to childhood and have everything go back to how it was before.
Seeing my Pokemon, just as I'd left them, had comforted me. I had looked at their stats pages, taken photos of them with my digital camera (that I don't even know if I still have), and then turned it off without doing anything.
That was probably 9 or 10 years after the games came out. It had been a long time since then. I had long since taken the AA batteries out of my Game Boy Color and left it untouched. I didn't even have AA batteries anymore.
It had worked then. But now it had been 27 years... I thought about not trying to turn my cartridge back on. As long as I didn't turn it on, I could believe my Pokemon were still there, the way I remembered them.
On my day off, which happened to be Pokemon Day, I googled and read that some people on forums and Reddit were still able to play their original Pokemon games.
Then... it was possible. I went out to buy toothpaste. At the store, I asked where I could find AA batteries.
It was a big thing for me to be able to go to the store and buy things myself. When I moved at age 13, I felt like something went wrong with growing up. It was difficult to follow what people were saying, and people didn't always understand what I said either. I had been introverted even in English, but now I had enough negative experiences that I became afraid and stopped trying to talk to people altogether.
I threw myself into video games and reliving childhood memories. The internet was where I could communicate in my first language and understand. I lived online and didn't interact with the real world. On the internet I felt like I was understood and could find people who shared my interests the way I did, but in the real world it always felt like I could get hurt if anyone knew me.
I realize now that I could have had a better experience overseas if I'd known how to adapt and socialize, but this was not something I knew even in English, and trying to learn in another language made it ten times harder. I'm sorry now for missing out on interactions that I know I could have had, but I just didn't know how. I wouldn't know how until I learned, and it took me a long time to learn.
I grew up online, in the company of others who had trouble fitting in with the real world, even in their own language. Those experiences shaped me, and the friendships I've made and support I've received online are invaluable to me. The internet gave me a way to live, and through it I learned how to interact with others. But in many ways, for many years, it felt like my life was put on hold and I stopped growing up.
Several years ago I moved back, to not far from where I was born, and I was able to work for the first time. I began to interact with people and feel like I had a place in the real world.
After shutting myself away for so many years, every little step I made out in the world felt terrifying. But every little thing I did on my own made me feel like I was living for the first time.
Even something as little as going to the store and buying a pack of batteries.
I was directed to a shelf at the end of an aisle, and found myself looking at a rack of lithium AA batteries. Did they not sell the old kind anymore?
I walked around to the other side and was relieved to find the familiar black and brown Duracell batteries I'd known from my childhood. I felt more confident about putting in a battery that looked the same as I remembered. The smallest pack they sold was an 8-pack for $12.99. I really didn't need 8 batteries. I didn't have any other devices that used them.
I thought, what if I turn it on and it doesn't work and I'll have wasted $12.99?
I also thought we might already have batteries. I might be able to say, "Mom, do we have any batteries?" and she'd pull out two AAs from a drawer somewhere and I'd save my money.
But somehow I felt like part of what was important about this was being an adult and being able to buy my own batteries.
Yet... what if it just ended up making me sad? Was it better not to know?
I went to the checkout with just the toothpaste and stood hesitating at the edge of the checkout line.
If I didn't get the batteries now, and it turned out we didn't have any batteries, I wouldn't try it. I knew I would just put it off until even more time passed, and then... "Are you in line?" someone asked me.
"No," I said, and I turned around and went back to the shelf.
I bought the batteries.
At home, I took out my original Game Boy Color from the drawer where I left it, the one my dad had surprised me with when I was 5 years old and that I had brought overseas and back.

I put the batteries in and turned it on without a cartridge first to make sure the batteries were inserted correctly. The Game Boy logo scrolled across the screen and it made the familiar blinging Game Boy startup noise. I turned it off again, satisfied.
I took out my original Pokemon Blue cartridge, momentarily having to remember which way it went in, and slotted it in.
I turned it on, watched the whole Pokemon Blue intro out of nostalgia, and then pressed START.
My heart leaped for joy.
MY POKEMON!!!! MY POKEMON ARE ALIVE!!! 🥺🥺🥺
My original Pokemon, that were with me in 1998 when I was 5-6 years old, are still with me 27 years later. I want to cry!!! I love the old sprites, I'm SO happy to see them again 😭😭😭 the Pokemon look so little and cheerful at the same time, which I love 🥺🥺🥺 I know there are people with many more hours on their games, who have leveled all their Pokemon to 100. But these are my Pokemon who were with me through my childhood, and I spent many more hours making up stories about them than actually playing the game. I'm so happy to see them again 😭😭😭
All I want is to see my Pokemon. My other Pokemon are in boxes. Now, how do I get to the nearest PC? Where am I?
Oh... Oh. I have to confess something. When I was a kid, I was scared of the dark cave areas, and whenever I got to them, I stopped playing for a while. (I was stuck at Mt. Moon until I was like, 7.) So I never actually beat the game.
And here I am on Victory Road, with the team of Pokemon I was taking to the Elite Four, without an Escape Rope.
The only way for me to see my other Pokemon is... to finally make it through Victory Road, after 27 years?!
#pokemon#pokemon blue#kanto#gen 1#long post#text post#i know long format blog posts aren't standard here but i don't know where else to put this#i'm so happy i've had tears in my eyes. i had the BEST pokemon day i could have imagined#some people may be surprised i didn't just have a team of water or grass types but it was my first pokemon game and i wanted to be balanced#(also.. i'm not actually even sure i knew how to swim yet at that age?! i think i learned when i was 4-5)#BLASTOISE!!! my original blastoise my favorite i'm so happy to see him again!!! ;;---;;#i started training a drowzee because i needed to put pokemon to sleep for catching and hypno ended up just being so strong i got so attache#kitty helped me earn money to buy pokeballs with pay day#i always thought vulpix was incredibly cute and ninetales was awesomely beautiful#it was a tradition for me to have a haunter in every game because gengar is just so cool and cute (though i never had anyone to trade with)#but it's okay because haunter is also very cool and cute and i love my haunter#and i had a pikachu like red and yellow (but mine evolved!)#sorry about the overexposed 'screenshots' it actually takes a frustratingly long time to edit them into anything presentable even like this#but there's something nostalgic to me about seeing it on an actual game boy (color) instead of only the screen itself
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work friends.
#I need to do a proper presentation for the guy with the glasses#he's another yan lmao#johann the bastard#male yandere#yandere#yandere boy#original art#original character
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kylemartinnnnnnn.... first art post of 2025 babeyyy!!!
(he/him for kyle(blonde), she/her for martin(bird))
#drawing#digital art#oc#art#my art#illustration#supernormal#original character#iwove dem#theyhave something WEIRD going awwnnnn#idrew dese as christmas present for muppy#murph an joanies supernormal#supervillain oc#ilove how giant martin is..#girl u are sobig and beautiful..#7ft tall trans birdgirl#and little blonde vampire boy#theyre not yaoi or yuri sorry theyare just toxic straight#still queer though so itsokay#martins straight but transfem and kyle is pan#look theyrenot just inthe voiddd
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Origin of Megatron's scar
#transformers#au#art#digitalart#character design#photoshop#decepticons#autobots#optimus#megatron#megop#megatron x optimus prime#redesign#original design#robot#mecha#doodle#maccadam#drawing#technically this happens when he was younger#but i rly wanted to draw him in the present lmao 😭
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"i simply do not see it. i am looking away"
#batman#john constantine#zatanna zatara#lucifer morningstar#mazikeen#dc comics#hellblazer#if anyone is looking at this and going 'omg lucifer reference': please look at my blog please look at my blog pl#rbs > likesss!#was originally going to put the ot3 in this but i wanted a bit of a wider audience ig lmao#this was oriuginally done in ms paint and i think i put more emotion into those drawings than i have ever in my entire life before#mazikeen morningstar#mazifer#see you can make an argument that it's based to look god in the face and say you're an atheist#or that philosophically magic is just science that is beyond the scope of our knowledge#however#the way that it's always presented imo by batman...#anyway yet another 2 year old sketch i finally got around to lining#dc meme#1k
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FAVORITE OBI-WAN KENOBI MOMENTS [10/13]: The Clone Wars, Season 6 ↳ requested by @userobiwan ☺️☺️
#obi wan kenobi#star wars#the clone wars#sw:tcw#swedit#starwarsedit#theclonewarsedit#obiwankenobiedit#mypost#[gifs]#faveobiscenes#tcwedit#swsource#swshows#starwarsblr#userobiwans#userlumi#tvgifs#animationedit#prequelsnet#i was really struggling with this one#he's barely present in this season#also i tried getting a uniform coloring...#i think it came out alright considering what the original ugly green tints some episodes had
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My knowledge of superhero comics isn't deep so much as it is frustratingly eclectic. Like, I might well completely fail to recognise a character who's been a regular member of the X-Men for thirty years, but if you need somebody to explain from unprompted memory the complete plot of Spanner's Galaxy, I'm your guy.
#media#comics#superheroes#other areas of expertise include:#'that one cyborg dude whose series ran as a backup feature in marvel comics presents: excalibur for six months in 1989'#and#'the origin story of that trio of sexy demon siblings who show up in like five issues of moon knight in the 90s'
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This is a brand new science for me, and I love it. The language of luck. 'Cause what is a coincidence but a form of accident? Two things bumping together unexpectedly. Like you and me.
#dwedit#doctor who#usertennant#userteri#userveronika#miatendos#userdiana#usertreena#ruby sunday#fifteenth doctor#maestro#*#originally this was just going to be ruby + snow and then it devolved from there#memories changing... being brought into the present..... some connection to the ancient one. luck coincidences connections.#the doctor describes the legion as a 'pantheon'; a group of gods. and so far they're all personifications#the toymaker is 'a living game'; maestro is 'the essence of music itself'; henry arbinger = harbinger and acts as prelude to the gods#then 'the one who waits' is perhaps... time? death?#and 'the oldest one'... that could mean a lot of things#my first thought was that the oldest one would be death since the finale is called 'the empire of death'. alternatively: life.#but if you connect it back to ruby: luck coincidences connections. so far that's been her whole thing. so maybe something related to that#then again we're only on ep 2 of 8 so... anyway. idk what any of this means but. thinking thoughts!!!#worth noting: if the snow is a warning it starts snowing in the tardis during the scan. it reveals her genetic id/species/age#but not her nucleotide composition. whatever tf that is. and it only gets to 75% complete before it pans away. but it does finish scanning#and in canon 6+ months pass between the end of ep 1 and the beginning of ep 2 so... presumably the doctor has SEEN those results. fwiw.
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And coloring based on @thegunnsara 's sketch
#OKAY I FINALLY GOT A DAY THAT DIDN'T SUCK ALL MY MORAL POWERS AND I COULD DRAW FOR MYSELF ENJOYABLY#I gotta note that I just... can't find how to draw Prowl the way I will not hate it... Something in the face that I can't find right at all#I don't know how many time months years it will take me to draw him and just all transformers the way I will like XDD#Okay anyway gah tired sleep if I had such a free soul like right now I ohh I wanna come back on tumblr ;;~;;#Also ehgfehge did read Megatron's origin and there was Prowl and if I'm not wrong. Jazz somewhere behind being all bored of the meeting XDD#To be more precise Prowl was making a presentation and giving infor and Jazz looked like he has music in his head#THERE WAS RUNG. AND HIS NAME WAS FORGOTTEN RIGHT AWAY#Anyway I wanna blablabla about plenty of details there but gah#cockroachdoodles#transformers#transformers idw#tf idw#prowl#jazz#rung
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"An attorney's badge. No one would believe I was a defense attorney if I didn't carry this."
#i started thinking about the option to present the attorney's badge and then i thought about the disbarment and it all spiralled from there#no badge to present anymore :(#and no court record either#man. 🐴🌊#for someone who prefers the original trilogy (for now. i still have to finish DD and SOJ)#i sure think a lot about AJ#ace attorney#phoenix wright#apollo justice#aa#ace attorney fanart#scribbles#lonely thoughts
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fr tho one criticism of Cats that always tickles me is the specific brand of 'its so weird/horny/unsettling/goofy' that implies the critic in question thinks Cats is like that on accident. like i hate to break it to you but the song where they all speak in sync while creepy carnival-esque music plays is intended to unsettle. the abrupt transition from depressing bittersweet songs to high-energy bops is intended to give you whiplash. the rapidfire slinging of random terms that dont make sense is intended to throw you off. the unusually horny undertones are supposed to be, well, unusually horny. why? because
they are cats bro
if the tone/presentation/events seem strange and inhuman its because the cast of characters are, in fact, not human. like,,, Cats presents to its audience a fantastical snapshot of a kind of life that belongs to an animal on the outskirts of human society: a life of violence and community and sex and ritual and utter senselessness, and then people who see it will unironically go 'wow wtf why does this piece of media lie so far outside of my scope of normality. lol 🤣'
#cats fan on main#cats the musical#im just saying theres a reason we're trapped in the hellscape of remake/rerun/remaster/sequel/prequel/etc#and thats bc waaay too many ppl love to point their fingers and laugh at anything even remotely 'weird'#which just leads to studios deciding to never present anything original or interesting for fear of sales declining .0000001% or whatever
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Me and the bad bitch I pulled by being autistic
#this looks like a jock himbo presenting his new mean girl gf at the family function#svsss#scum villian self saving system#scum villain#scumbag system#shen jiu#og shen qingqiu#original shen qingqiu#liu qingge#liujiu#liujiu week#liujiu week 2024
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Doggies 🎈
#arts#original arts#balloon dog#balloon animal#balloon dogs...my ever-present muses...so silly...such darlings...#inanimate animals
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Guy who went to Baldur’s Gate law school and passed the Baldur’s Gate bar exam some time long ago
#its all very tedious I BET#did he chug speed potions to pull all-nighters#ALSO shouldn’t he know not to make deals with the devil without a lawyer present#evidently baldurs gates legal system is in shambles#yelling about how apparently origin astarion can offer to look over wyll’s contract omg#anyways this is for my lawyer friends idk how u guys do this#bg3#baldur’s gate iii#astarion#baldurs gate 3#astarion ancunin#alibonbonn#ali draws
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