#preferably with someone from the future going back to the 18th century

[amphibious-thing]

we need more queer time travel stories actually

[kleinergeist]

Some TCODC headcanons/interpretations and stuff (Mostly Jane and Cesare)

(Warnings: mentions of abuse, including starvation)

- Jane and Francis both end up in the asylum after the events of the film. Caligari is still the director. Either he somehow framed someone else to maintain his position of power, or him being caught was the only part of the story made up by Francis. Idk, I'm still figuring out how to piece the two endings together.

- Jane's delusion of being a queen manifested as a response to her very limited control over her own life. It only really became noticeable to others after her attempted abduction. Her parents begrudgingly sent her to the asylum after it became impossible to hide. She doesn't remember her previous identity for the most part, but some days are better than others.

- Cesare survives collapsing from exhaustion. I'm still working out exactly how, but he eventually ends up back in the asylum, though under a different name. Without Caligari controlling him, he spends most of his time awake now. Meanwhile, Caligari is waiting for the opportunity to bring him back under his control without making the other doctors suspicious.

- Jane befriends Cesare in the asylum. Neither of them of them fully remember the other but have a vague feeling of having met before, as if in a dream. She appoints him as her "royal advisor." Together, they try to find out what happened before they arrived here (and what exactly the asylum director's deal is.)

- Poor Francis is having an awful time. He's the only one who knows who Caligari really is and the only one of his friends who remembers Alan's murder, and no one believes him. Having to see the man who (albeit unwillingly) killed his friend every day certainly isn't helping matters. Eventually, he hesitantly joins Jane and Cesare in their quest to find out what's really going on (and hopefully escape). He's still very suspicious of Cesare, though.

- Caligari enjoys touching Cesare (as seen at various points in the film). However, he dislikes feeding him or really anything that reminds him that he's a human being. He prefers to think of Cesare as a puppet without bodily needs or functions. For this reason, he tends to put off feeding him for as long as possible.

- Cesare, consequently, has an unusual relationship with food. He eats all kinds of inedible stuff when Caligari's back is turned; paper, bugs, his fingernails, splinters of wood from his box, really anything he can get his hands on. Someone at the carnival gave him a toffee apple once, and he ate it so quickly he got sick.

- Caligari has taught himself Italian (specifically a 18th century Northern dialect) and Latin. He's tried to teach these to Cesare too, with some degree of success. Sometimes while "predicting" a future at the carnival, Cesare will randomly start muttering in Latin.

- Caligari has collected a few different outfits for Cesare, including a black and white harlequin costume and a ghostly Victorian style nightshirt. He likes to play around with his hair and makeup, too.

- Cesare has a really hard time adjusting to normal (or relatively normal) life in the asylum. He's awake now, but he has no idea how to look after himself. He forgets to eat for long periods of time if nobody reminds him. His sleep pattern is irreversibly altered. Initially, he doesn't even know how to wash or dress himself.

- Gender, sexuality and romantic attraction are foreign concepts to Cesare. Jane doesn't really experience romantic attraction either, much to Francis's dismay.

- Jane hates being touched. So does Cesare most of the time, but he's kind of like a cat; if he randomly decides that he wants affection, he's holding your sleeve or resting his head on your shoulder and there's nothing you can do about it. Of course, he only does this with people that he trusts (i.e., Jane). It takes her some time to get used to it.

- Jane has a lot of empathy for animals considered unlikable by most. She's definitely been scolded by her parents before for catching a spider in her hands to release it outside.

- She also loves collecting stuff. Rocks, porcelain, bones, flowers, really anything that strikes her fancy. She hides a lot of her treasures in drawers and under her bed because her parents don't approve. The habit continues while she's in the asylum and is picked up by Cesare. They share and exchange trinkets like a pair of crows. The flowers Cesare is holding at the end of the film are a gift from Jane.

It's a bit messy (and poor Alan hardly gets a mention) but there it is. Maybe someday I'll write a story.

@sixty-silver-wishes :)

[squeakygeeky]

I Feel You Linger in the Air Novel vs Series

I guess this is a thing I do now. Anyway, I feel like most people who posted about the novel were understandably focused on the ending, but this will be all over the place, full spoilers, this is for if you're interested in how it was adapted but don't actually want to read the novel. I would say I preferred the series since it took full advantage of being a visual medium and also because of the way it expanded on the story.

So the series only covered the first part of the novel, with Jom being transported back to 1928. The novel is first person from Jom's point of view and we really only get Jom adjusting to life in the past and his relationship to Yai.

Jom figures out he's in the past pretty quickly. There's also a mistaken identity thing so he never has to pretend to have amnesia.

Ueangphueng is still his sister's past life, but she's not Yai's sister, just a random neighbor married to Robert and not in a relationship to Mei. Ming is still in love with Mei but she's going to marry someone else, this is just a random thing not important to the plot. Fongkaew's story is kind of similar to the series and so is Khamsaen's, but there's no plot with Robert having done crimes etc. so she and Ueangphueng are just stuck being married to him and having his kids. James is there and flirty with Jom but there's no gay bar. Jom's piglet belongs to Robert and loses the race due to banana shenanigans, I'm sure you were dying to know.

Yai Palathip is 18 and going to be sent off for school and never gets engaged, instead his non-Ueangphueng sister does (happily it seems). No one finds out about Jom and Yai when Jom starts working for him, so there's not really homophobia they deal with, but also no support. They also barely get time together as lovers before Yai gets ripped into the past.

Jom gets transported to the 18th century (I think?) and meets Moustache Commander Yai. I won't go into much of what happens since it's not relevant to the series, but this Yai has no existing connection to Jom, so basically this part is Jom realizing he needs Yai to fall in love with him, which of course is successful because that explains why 1920s Yai was in love with him from the first moment. This is the Yai that gives Jom the tiger ring. Also there is stuff about personal pronouns used in the past: catnip to me.

Jom gets sent back to the present, but weirdly right before the accident. He doesn't check his phone this time but still goes into the River, he just manages to be in slightly better circumstances and gets rescued (by a foreign doctor, my theory is James reincarnated, although there is nothing to support this). He still has the tiger ring on so he knows it wasn't all a dream. When he returns to work on the renovation, he's given a key to a box in the trunk, which has his phone, the letter he wrote (not a letter from Yai), and the theater tickets Jom and Yai never got to use. Then he's told he needs to meet the son of the lady renovating the house, who is Yai Kanthorn of the present day.

1st special is a cute scene of Yai Palathip interacting with his nieces and nephews many years after Jom's disappearance. He became a judge and the family is prosperous because of Jom's advice about the future.

The 2nd special explains that present day Yai is a decendent of Lek, 1920s Yai's brother, so that's how he ended up also being called Yai. His adoptive mom/aunt is Yai's heir, tasked with giving Jom (as far as she knows just a random person of his full name) a key to the box in the chest. She sees his name in an article about a renovation which is why she insisted on hiring him. Yai sees Jom's picture in the article and remembers his past lives, so he goes to Thailand to find Jom.

The 3rd special is Yai and Jom in the present being boyfriends and getting engaged.

There is absolutely no explanation of why Jom time traveled.

[ahses2ahes]

Sun Rays

Pairing: Duke Leto Atreides x reader, kingdom/18th century AU.

Warnings: arranged marriage, language, chasing. There isn’t much really.

Summary: After your father tells you that you’re too be married off to some Duke you choose to spend most of your time horse back riding and the rest arguing with your father. That is, until you meet the Duke and he makes quite the deal.

Photos from Pinterest and Leto is from Dune. You obviously belong to yourself.

You had always been a wild being, something your father disapproved of. Especially as a Duke. You could care less, though, preferring to feel the wind whip through you hair as you rode the back of your horse and race through the trees with some of the stable boys.

You were rough and tough for a royal, lacking proper manners and in need of a serious reality check. That is why your father chose to have you engaged to a man about two decades older than you. A Duke from a land you knew nothing of except its barrenness and sand.

You had fought with your father constantly about it, taking any chance to bring it up at dinner or council meetings you found oh so boring to attend. He was insistent, though. He believed you needed to marry someone respectable and learn to become a proper person of the court.

You hated the idea, even now as you prepped your horse for a ride. You had gotten word that your husband to be had arrived and you did not feel like meeting him. So you had decided to sneak away and out of your formal attire down to the stables and into your riding gear.

Now you were with your dark stallion, placing on his saddle and closing it right around him.

“Is this any way to great your future husband?” a voice rang from the entrance of the stables.

You turned your head to see Duke Leto himself and for a second your eyes widened.

You had heard the man was attractive and while it was true, you didn’t expect him to be this attractive. He was rugged and wore a head of neatly combed back grey and black hair. A full beard adorned his face along with two beautiful dark eyes that held years of wisdom, but didn’t show a single worry. A smile also graced his slightly pale lips. His walk was just as elegant and sophisticated as he looked, his steps nearing you quite quickly.

No matter how beautiful he was, though, you could not forget your anger towards him.

“I have no interest in speaking to you,” your words were harsh as you pulled a strap on the saddle of your horse a little too roughly.

“Please, my dear, let us talk, there must be something we can work out,” the Duke said as he placed a hand on the small of your back.

Anger sparked through you quickly and you smacked his hand off of you.

“There is nothing to speak of with you, I will not marry you simply because my father told me to!”

He raised a brow, before a smug smirk crossed his face. God, it was hot.

“How about a wager then,”

The offer had piqued your interest, you straightened yourself out, turning to look at him with a brow quirked upwards.

“What would that be?”

“I get to choose a horse and we race. If I manage to catch you before the sun sets, you shall marry me. If you are able to stay away, I shall leave and never even look back.”

“Done,” you say quickly, spitting in your hand and sticking it out. An attempt to gross out the Duke.

He did indeed look a little disgusted, but he took your hand in his leather clad one, shaking it firmly.

With that, you both began to prepare, you even helped him pick out a good horse, one that could match the abilities of yours. By the time you were both ready, it was just after the beginning of evening.

“So, I start and you have to wait ten minutes to start the chase,” you said, as you looked over the greenery you had grown so fond of.

“And neither of us are allowed to leave,” Leto reminded “If we do then whoever has left is the immediate loser.”

I nod my head and look at him.

“Ready?” Leto nods in response.

“On your marks,” you say

“Get set,” Leto continues for you

“Go!” You both scream in unison.

With that you are off, faster than a flash of lightening. Hooves thunder the ground and trample the small plants that lie in your path. You ride and ride till your horses’ breathing is heavy. That is when you choose to stop.

You let him breathe by a stream and you stay there for several minutes letting your racing heart calm as you think.

Leto was quite the different man than you had expected. You expected him to force this marriage upon you and give you no say, but no. He was giving you this way out even though he likely knew how skilled of a rider you were and how well you knew this forest.

You continued to sit there thinking till you heard the thunder of something. You were confused for a second before you saw Leto, on his golden mare stomping towards you.

“Shit shit shit shit shit,” you mumble out as you quickly climb onto your steed and zoom off.

You can feel that his hand just narrowly misses your shoulder before you zoom off. You thunder through the water, him jumping over it and staying close on your heels. You zoom through the trees hoping to take some sort of turn and loosen his trail on you, but it’s of no use, he stays hot on you.

“How the hell are you doing this?” You yell to the man behind you.

“You never asked of my experience in hunting and tracking!” He said with a mischievous chuckle.

You continue to ride, evading him through the trees. It was so close to sunset! Just a little more time!

You continue to ride, thundering north. He manages to get right next to you, his hand reaching over to wrap around your waist. You quickly pull off to the left and avoid him, but he is quick to follow. You now thunder east towards the palace. The sun is almost below the horizon. You ride and ride and as you see the clearing with the last of suns you cheer to yourself. You are too soon, though, because Leto is at your side again.

You watch as the rays continue to shrink and as you reach the edge of the first. Suspense is building in your chest as you watch the sun continue to tuck itself away. Just a little bit more!

His hand is reaching back towards you now, almost touching you. You’re almost there dear god you are almost there.

Just as the front of your horse is out of the forest, you feel yourself being taken off of your horse, the last rays of sun set.

“Fuck!” You cry out as you watch your horse stop at the edge and the horse you are now slowly halting.

Leto chuckles and pats the side of your waist that he holds.

“I believe this means I’ve won dear,”

[gentleranium]

LETS TALK ABOUT BEARDS AND 18TH C. BRITISH GENTLEMEN

Well, folks, I’ve seen some meta about bearded Stede Bonnet, and here’s some information that might be useful to you. Please note: I am only discussing how Stede having a beard in season two makes sense within the context of the show. There’s plenty to talk about with shipping and historically what “beard” has meant in queer culture, but those should be their own posts. 

First up: beards? Not fashionable for the Georgian Era gentlemen. In the 18th c., gentlemen were clean-shaven. A beard would clearly mark someone as on the fringes or entirely outside of society:

Eighteenth century men differed from those of the preceding centuries in their preference for beardlessness. This was the typical facial hair condition throughout most of the 1700s, when wearing a beard was likely to cast one into the category of eccentric, insane or otherwise unreasoned and ungoverned. (National Portrait Gallery, Australia)

To complicate this discussion, the definition of “gentleman” was in flux in the 18th century: did it describe a set of behaviors or was it tied to having wealth? (Encyclopaedia Britannica). Stede is likely using both definitions. He agrees to teach Ed how to be a gentleman, aka, manners and behavior. However, there is an emphasis on “fine things,” which require wealth…and wealth was most often acquired through land ownership. (Side note: I suspect Stede is landed gentry, not British peerage, and my reasoning could be yet another post.)

Stede’s narrative arc ultimately requires that he resolve his past and future. Most notably, Stede fully surrenders his property and land, giving up the traditional definition of gentleman. In the last scene of “Wherever You Go, There You Are,” Stede is dressed in plain clothing, a stark difference from the finery we see in episode one.

I’d also like to talk about Ed. Although shaving his beard is a Royal Privateering Academy requirement, he’s not unhappy to do it. This is when Ed is most hopeful about the future:

STEDE: How are you handling this so well? ED: It’s kind of nice just to take a load off. Just to… to be Edward. I don’t know if I want to go back to the old days.

When he returns to being the old Blackbeard, he draws the beard back on. To me, the beard is a visual signal of someone consciously rejecting society and becoming ungoverned by British laws.

Related, I’d argue that the Royal Privateering Academy is a liminal space, neither gentleman nor pirate but on the cusp of becoming either. It seems logical that this is the place where Stede and Ed can have their kiss: they are removed from their crews, neither one has more power than the other, and the future is unknown. They’ve managed to temporarily step off the track that’s been laid for them by virtue of their birth. 

It is also worth noting that the way they can have a future together is by leaving their current lives behind and going to China, a place most 18th c. British gentry and nobility would consider an entirely different world. This is a time when China had a lot of trade restrictions. Only four ports were permitted to trade with western Europe, and there were limited areas for accommodations around the ports. If you wanted to completely cut connections, China would have been a good choice.

If this topic (or topics) interest you, please use this information as a jumping off point for your own reading & research! My area of British literature & history is the late Georgian Era (1800+) and Victorian Era, but you pick up information about the earlier decades by association.

[sakurayumeno]

Hope I got the goth parts right!   ~(>_<。)＼

Joseph, Luca, Naib, Norton with a modern goth S/O + playing video games

Joseph

He thinks someone died

But don’t get mad at him, because that was the only reason people would wear full black back then

He thinks it’s nice nevertheless, but he likes the Victorian and lolita/ ouji style the most because he’s the most familiar with the fashion

Listen, mans was alive around the 18th century. He probably don’t even know what moving pictures are yet, so just the concept of video games alone leaves him awestruck

“You mean to tell me that moving pictures EXIST in the future? And in color??”

You don’t even have to convince him at this point, he just so eager to try it out

He jumps at the first sound that comes from the game. He’s all like, “S/o, did you hear that? Where did it come from?” “Joseph, it was the game.”

He literally cannot handle fast-paced games, his reaction times are so slow despite having them being fast in real life. Even Mario Kart is too hard for him

Video games are the coolest thing ever in his opinion, but can’t play them for the life of him

Luca

He thinks the goth style is very unique. He’s rarely seen anyone wear dark clothing because they want to

Zaps anyone who makes rude comments about it

You deserve to dress however you want without being judged and people need to realize that

Surprisingly really good at rhythm games. You could put him on the hardest level and he’d get through it as if it were on easy mode

His favorite type of games are interactive and, of course, rhythm games. Rhythm games keep his brain active and interactive games... let’s just say he likes to experiment with them

First playthrough is neutral, he chooses what he would do in the situation. The ones after are either chaotic or too good. He would choose all the bad options and then choose all the good options next playthrough

Doesn’t play the games often, though. He’s still got his inventions to work on. Maybe he’ll try to make his own video game

Asks to takes apart the game to see how it works

Doesn't understand CDs, how can a flimsy piece of plastic hold so much stuff??

Naib 

Doesn’t mind one bit that you’re goth, if you wear those boots with the belt decorations, he’d go ‘Oh look, we match.’

Kind of frustrated that he doesn’t have any goth costumes and yet he has a matching costume with Martha. Like bruh if he wanted a matching costume, give it to his s/o pls

Call him soft, but he prefers playing games that include you. Not competitively or anything, just ones where you two can work together

He’d enjoy games like Minecraft or Stardew Valley where he could live his little domestic video game life with you

If you teach him how to make food in either games, neither of you will ever go hungry

You could be mining or somethin’ and he would go sprinting to find you. You would be so confused until he whips out a cake and says, “I made us a cake, eat it before it gets cold. <3″ “Naib, I’m at full hunger-”

You bet he’d walk up to you in Minecraft and shyly ask to place his bed next to yours

If any mob or enemy were to come up to the two of you, he’d kill it before it could even touch you. No one’s hurting his partner

Norton

“Does my Mr. Mole costume count as goth”

Has a vague understanding of what goth is when you explain it. He thinks that anyone who wears black is goth, even if it’s just a one-time thing

He would love if you guys could match, mainly with the Mr. Mole costume since he has no other black outfits (I mean wanderer is also one, so if you want to dress up as a vampire, go for it)

If ya’ll ever seen that meme where the guy goes easy on their friend in a game and the friend says, ‘Wow. Guess I’m better than you at your own game!’ and the guy goes all serious after, that would summarize your guys’ gaming experience to a ‘T’

Tries his hardest to be better than you, but not in a mean way. He just wants to impress you

He is a noob, but don’t call him that, he won’t know what that is lol

Prone to rage-quit after so many losses

He’ll appreciate it if you gave him some pointers and he’ll actually use them. He may be on par with you after a while

For competitive games, he enjoys Street Fighter and Super Smash Bros. His favorite would have been Mortal Kombat if it weren’t so gory, though

[heloisedaphnebrightmore]

Regardless of the bond [James Potter x Reader]

Title: Regardless of the bond Pairing: James Potter x Female!Reader Word count: 3.3k Published: 19 April 2021 Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore Summary: [x] The existence of soulmates was hard for you to believe. You wished to be one of them, but after your 18th birthday, when you were supposed to experience a difference, you are left disappointed. Knowing you didn’t have that special bond and you had to continue watching the one you liked so deeply love someone else makes you want to just disappear. Bingo: [x] This is part of my Make me feel Bingo Card by @girl-next-door-writes

Square filled: Alternative Universe

Harry Potter Characters Masterlist | Masterlists

Make me feel Bingo Masterlist

If you enjoy my stories, please consider donating and supporting me on Ko-fi. Of course, it’s completely your choice, I will continue updating for free anyway :) Thank you <3

Soulmates were a very widely known myth that many believed and wished to experience, but some found it to be a silly little idea created by those who romanticised the idea to be with someone for the rest of their lives. The thought of loving someone and being loved unconditionally was indeed one that many wished to have, but since soulmates were rather rare, people often ignored its existence and chose to find love themselves. According to the myths, some people experienced finding their soulmate with a simple touch, where for a mere second, they saw images of their future life together. For some it was a sensation, a pulling force telling them that they belonged together. There were some theories where they could recognise each other’s scent. Many different myths have been spread throughout the centuries, but there was one mutual theory in all of them. When it happens, you just know it, you feel it, every single fibre of your body screams for that certain person to stay in your life.

You were one of those who believed it but didn’t think it would ever happen to you. You hoped, of course you did, but you were more logical than to rely on an old myth. Having such a strong connection was a lovely idea, but it was hard to believe that it would be handed to you on a silver plate. All the fairy tales you have heard about from your parents said that the soulmate-bond would be activated after your 18th birthday if you had one. But of course, it’s been a month and you have felt no different than before, reassuring you that you weren’t any special.

You were seated in the Gryffindor common room, legs thrown over the arm of the sofa, hanging down on the side as you doodle little drawings on a piece of ripped parchment.

“What are you doing?” You heard a voice and as you looked up, you recognised Lily standing in the doorway.

“Just drawing,” you replied, turning back to your parchment, ignoring your friend.

“Good, good,” she nodded and took a seat beside you, staring at your doodles.

“Is there anything you want?” You asked, turning back to her with an expectant expression, brows running high.

“Nope,” she popped the ‘p’ as she shook her head. You frowned at her rather strange behaviour, but once again turned back to your drawings, trying to ignore her staring. However, it seemed to be a task easier said than done. Feeling Lily’s breath on your neck and her eyes attached to your drawing, whilst squirming in her place chased all your creativity away. You folded up your paper and looked at your friend once again.

“You are being fairly annoying,” you stated with a grimace.

“I didn’t even do anything,” she huffed, crossing her arms in front of her chest and turning to the opposite direction, giving you a side-glance every once in a while.

“Breathing down my neck and staring at me is quite creepy and as much as I love you, your behaviour is very unusual so spill it, what’s going on?” You asked firmly, causing Lily to scrunch her nose and pout in a child-like manner. She was a very smart witch and an even better friend, but at times she was capable of getting on your nerves with a simple look. “Come on, I don’t have all day to wait for you,” you rushed her as you stood up and tossed the folded parchment in the drawer of your desk and closed it with a thudding sound.

“I have overheard a little discussion between James and Sirius. They were talking about you,” she smirked playfully, wiggling her brows as though you were supposed to understand.

“I’m not sure what kind of reaction you are expecting of me,” you frowned in confusion.

“Well, certainly a happier one than the one I’m getting now,” she grimaced. “I have been hearing nothing else from you, but how much you’ve liked James since the first time you talked,” she tried to lead you to the right direction, but you still stood there cluelessly.

“So?” you asked.

“So? James and Sirius were talking about you,” Lily repeated slower as if you didn’t understand before.

“I heard you for the first time too, I’m not stupid. I simply don’t understand what you want from me. James and Sirius are my friends, they will inevitably talk about me if I come up in a subject,” you shrugged nonchalantly.

“You are unbelievable. I overheard James telling Sirius that he has feelings for you,” Lily exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. But instead of excitement you gave her a deadpan expression. “Okay, I’m not sure what’s going on with you today, but I’m honestly starting to think you are broken or something,” she huffed.

“We both know that James has been running after you for years, Lils. Sure, we are close, I love him to bits, however, I am nothing but a friend to him. I’m not sure what you heard or what you misunderstood to be exact, but we both know James has liked you for years and I find it hard to believe that his last year will be the one where he changes his mind so abruptly,” you explained. Whilst a part of you wished to believe it was true, a more logical side made sure to crush those hopeful thoughts that tried to sway you.

“I’m sorry, but I’m quite sure of what I heard. And why couldn’t he? Crushes come and go, and he hasn’t asked me out or showed any interest in me for the last month or so. I do believe he has feelings for you, but you have been friends for so long, you can’t expect him to just walk up to you and confess,” Lily tried to pressure your logical side, but you couldn’t find it in you to agree. You have liked him for so long, you were numb to even the thought of him ever reciprocating your feelings.

“Ok, I accept that. Now that we have concluded this conversation, can we actually grab something to eat?” You asked whilst walking towards the door and opening it for Lily, waiting for her to follow you.

“You’re definitely broken,” she huffed, annoyed by your nonchalant behaviour.

“And you are rather annoying today. I’m glad we both have negative feelings towards each other. It will be a beautiful day,” you put on a fake smile, earning a grimace from Lily.

“You have been avoiding him recently,” she added with a side-glance, making you groan as you headed down the stairs to the common room.

“Can we stop talking about him for a second?” you asked, pleading with the girl.

“Fine, but I’m not giving up just yet,” shrugging, she hurried up her steps and walked out the common room, leaving you farther behind. Rolling your eyes, you heaved a heavy sigh and followed her to the Great hall.

As you sat at the Gryffindor table with Lily on your right, eating your usual morning toast, James took a seat on your other side whilst Sirius sat down beside Lily, followed by Remus and Peter across the table.

“We have a beautiful day today, don’t we?” James beamed, his unusually positive attitude making you frown. Everyone seemed to act unlike themselves and you certainly didn’t like the way they behaved.

“I guess,” you replied with a grimace. “Would have been better if Lily didn’t start my day by dancing on my nerves,” you groaned.

“I was simply stating facts,” she huffed.

“That could possibly be a definition of annoying too if we dig deeper,” you retorted.

“It’s not my fault you are hard-headed,” she rolled her eyes.

“It’s not my fault you are spreading false rumours,” you shrugged nonchalantly.

“It’s not my fault you can’t see the forest from the tree,” she grimaced.

“Woah, woah, let’s just stop it there. We have quite an intense breakfast on our hands. What do you say we just continue eating quietly?” James asked, trying to stop your bickering.

“Been doing that until you arrived with your overly-positive attitude,” you replied as you bit into your toast.

“I’m sorry for having a nice day. Instead of being gloomy, you could try it too,” he raised a questioning brow, wearing a playful smirk across his face. In normal circumstances you would have returned his smile, feeling all warm inside, feeling your cheeks flush. He had a certain vibe that always made you feel happier even if you were down. But not in that moment. It just didn’t work.

“Will take your advice into consideration,” you huffed as you stood up from the table, finishing your breakfast. “See you later,” you nodded and headed towards the exit. You barely reached the first classroom across the corridor when you heard your name being called.

Turning around you, you saw James walking towards you in a haste. “Hmm?” You hummed in a questioning tone.

“You are acting strange recently. I can’t talk to you, I barely see you and honestly, I feel like you are avoiding me,” he stated, nervously rocking from one foot to the other. Indeed, you have been trying to keep a distance from the boy, knowing he fancied Lily whilst you liked him. Since your birthday you expected some kind of sign that would lead you to your soulmate, but it never happened. No images, no scents, no touches. The person you liked for so long had a crush on someone else and when you finally thought you might have a chance to find someone to connect with, you had to release you as one of many didn’t have a soulmate.

“Look, I just prefer being alone nowadays,” you lied. Imagining a pitiful look in his eyes, knowing why you have been avoiding him was something you never wanted to see. He was always supportive, and you could always rely on him, but this time you couldn’t possibly open up to him. You didn’t want his apologetic looks.

“Seven years. It’s been seven years since we first met and almost as long since we have become friends. I think I know you fairly well. Sure, people change, so did you and I, but we have changed together, for me you are still the same person I befriended. I don’t understand why you think that I would believe you. Wanting to be alone on occasions is fine, you have always done that, but you never closed me out completely until recently. I need to know what’s going on,” he pleaded, his words, his eyes, even his tone screaming for some kind of an explanation, but you couldn’t give him what he wanted.

“I’m sorry,” you simply apologised and started walking away. Giving him an explanation would have revealed your secret and you were not ready for that. Maybe once when your feelings were finally gone and you decide to sit down to talk about the old times, being nostalgic, maybe then you would have the courage, but not in that moment.

“Sorry is not enough,” he raised his voice as he hurried after you and grabbed your wrist. The feeling of his warm palm across your skin sent shivers down your spine. Your lips parted in surprise as you felt electricity run through the spot where he held onto you, starting off your heart in a quick pace. Feeling your cheeks heat up, you turned around and looked into his brown eyes as wide as yours, trying to figure out the unusual, sudden feeling. You felt your chest compress, air stuck in your lungs as you watched the man you had feelings for being just as shocked as you were. Knowing, hoping, believing what that certain electrical feeling running through you meant, it frightened you. You never wanted to be bonded with a man who loved someone else and the simple thought of you having to watch him run after his loved one made you feel as though your heart was shattering into the smallest of pieces, where picking them and trying to mend them wasn’t an option anymore.

Both of you stood stunned, his fingers firmly around your wrist, staring at each other, wordlessly trying to communicate. It was James who recovered first and let go of your arm, leaving it to fall beside you. You wanted to speak, you wanted him to speak, but none of you knew the right words to voice. In your shocked state you just wanted to disappear, you wanted to run away. The awkward silence was making you mad and frustrated, wanting nothing but to get as far from him as possible. So, you did. You hurried off, the sound of your heavy steps following you through the corridor. Hearing James’ pleading voice to stop you didn’t seem to work, you hurried your steps, not knowing where you were heading.

“Stop!” James appeared in front of you, stepping out of a hidden door you have not seen before.

“Leave me alone, James,” you pleaded, desperately needing some time alone.

“You felt it too. I know you did, so stop running away,” he stepped in your way as you tried to walk around him. He was determined to keep you there, to talk to you, to finally stop you from avoiding him.

“Why? I felt nothing. Just get away from me,” you raised your voice, even though you have never done it before, but it didn’t work. James wasn’t giving in.

“Enough,” he raised his voice this time, but it wasn’t threatening nor aggressive, he was firm and somewhat assertive. “You can avoid me if you like, you can ignore me if that makes you feel better but telling me that you didn’t feel anything when I touched you, lying to my face, that I will not take,” he exhaled slowly. “I know you felt it too and we both know what it meant. You are not stupid and nor am I. And if you feel like pretending that it didn’t happen,” he swallowed and heaved a heavy sigh,” we can do that, I will not force you. I’m only asking you not to run away from me,” he pleaded with you.

Feeling the tears collecting in your eyes, you tried to keep them in bay, not wanting James to see you so vulnerable. A heavy sigh left your lungs as you looked up at him, locking your eyes with him. “I— I don’t know how to handle this, James. You have been in love with Lily for so long, I don’t know how to react. I don’t want to be bonded to someone who already loves someone else,” you finally voiced your thoughts, finding it hard to resist the pleading look across his face.

“I never loved Lily,” he shook his head with a deep frown. “I was in a way infatuated with her, I liked the idea of liking her, but I didn’t love her. And I don’t feel that way anymore. I haven’t even tried getting closer to her in the last couple of months. If you were here, you could have seen it, but you decided to avoid me at all cost,” his tone, his demeanour, his firm stance radiated confidence and sincerity. Indeed, you haven’t seen much of him and you couldn’t judge what happened around your friend circle recently, but it was hard to believe that after all this time he just gave up on Lily.

“Look, whether you like her or not is not my business really and you don’t owe me any explanation. Maybe in the future you will like someone else, and I will be happy for you, but we have been friends for so long, I don’t want this stupid bond to stand in your way. So, let’s just pretend it didn’t happen, alright?” you tried to compromise, but James shook his head heavily in reply and stepped closer to you.

“How can you be so silly? You and this bond will always be standing in the way of me liking someone else, because regardless of that stupid bond, it is you that I like,” he confessed, his eyes a storm of emotions. He reached for your hand, cupping them in his, squeezing yours gently. “I like you. I really do. It has nothing to do with that bond,” he swallowed nervously. You tried to respond, say something, but instead you kept opening and closing your mouth as if you were a fish out of water, gaping, finding it hard to breath. It was hard to believe, but you couldn’t deny the tiny bit of flame you felt deep within you, hope that meant you still had a chance with him.

“But why?” you exclaimed in shock, not even realising your own words. James let out a mild chuckle, your words catching him off guard.

“Because you were always there for me, because you always knew what to say to me, how to hold me, how to deal with me. Because whenever I’m around you I’m both calm and nervous at the same time. Because you make me feel like a little child, wanting to smile whenever I see you. You are beautiful of course, but regardless I feel as though there’s this pulling force between us. I didn’t realise that I liked you until you were avoiding me. And it was not because of the bond, but because I realised that you were not there beside me and I missed the smallest of details that makes you—you. Scrunching your nose, pouting, grimacing at my silly ideas, scolding me for not studying. Every single little detail that makes you— you, was just missing from my life and it was killing me. I do like you more than you can imagine with or without that stupid bond,” he replied with a lopsided smile across his face, leaning his forehead against yours.

“But Lily—” you wanted to say, but he cut you off.

“There is no Lily. There’s only you and me. I just want you to maybe give me a chance to try if we work, if this— whatever is between us works,” he pleaded and instead of a reply, you stood on your tiptoes and attached your lips to his. He was hesitant, he didn’t know what was happening, but he didn’t let his chance slip out of his hands. He let go of your hands and cupped your face for better access, devouring your lips, losing himself in the moment where it was indeed only you and him.

“I like you. I like you so much,” you breathed against his lips, stunning him. His eyes widened at your words, clearly shocked by your sudden confession.

“But you have been avoiding me,” he exclaimed.

“I couldn’t be around you. I couldn’t watch you run after Lily anymore,” you shook your head, nervously biting your lip.

“I’m so sorry for putting you through that,” he hinted a small kiss on your forehead. “I promise I will make up for it if you give me a chance.”

“Wasn’t I clear enough?” you giggled softly as you placed your hands on his, holding your face. “There is nothing I want more than to give us a chance,” you smiled, reassuring him that you wanted him just as much as he wanted you.

“Well, since we have already missed the beginning of the first class, we could start off by trying to regain the last month you have so rudely taken from me,” he raised a questioning brow, hoping you would agree.

“I guess we could skip a class after all,” you giggled softly.

“Or more than one,” he wiggled his brows as he captured your lips once again, impatiently waiting for all the memories you were to experience together.

Notes: If you enjoyed reading this little piece, please don’t forget to leave a like, comment and reblog. Your opinion matters and gives us motivation. Thank you ^^

If you enjoy my stories, please consider donating and supporting me on Ko-fi. Of course, it’s completely your choice, I will continue updating for free anyway :) Thank you <3

Taglist from now on is in a reblog.

[thebeebi]

your little games pt. 2

pairing: Jungkook x reader

warnings: smut, fluff in later chapters, non-con, mention of r*pe attempt, implied murder and many more! Read only if you are okay with these topics!

genre: historical AU, 18th century?

word count: 2.5k+ [part 2]

a/n: I am not really sure if you wanted the part 2 but I for sure did!!! Enjooooy! ♥

You ran away from the man who tried to take an advantage of you. You stabbed him and escaped. Escaped to the arms of the handsome captain who was even worse than the man you just killed.

Part 1 

Jungkook did not understand what was the reason for you being like this. Your behaviour and manners were ones of an easy woman, but your hands that are pale and untouched showed that you were a lady who had never lifted a finger. He shook his head and wore a white shirt that he took off last just an hour ago. He walked towards the table and poured himself a glass of wine. When he was about to reach for it, he changed his mind and took into his hands bottle of brandy that was often his best companion. He gulped some of the leftover alcohol in the bottle while looking out of the window. He wasn’t from this little town. He was there just to ship some furniture that was ordered by a wealthy man. His parents used to love this town and often took him there considering it as a family vacation. But Jungkook never came back after their death. It was his first time back in 10 years. Jungkook’s father was an adventurer who raised his child strictly. On the other hand, Jungkook’s mother was his supporting pillar that mended Jungkook’s and his father’s relationship. Jungkook knew about the tough unfair world. Since he was a child, he preferred studying, but his father wanted him to be able to sail around so he sent him to an old captain – his friend, who taught Jungkook things that he knows now. Even though Jungkook loved sailing, he knew this was the last one of his adventures. His parents left him a huge mansion with a huge wine orchard. Jungkook knew he wanted to work with wine and that was the reason he did not sail that often. The winery was the centre of his attention. He was 25 years old man, who was already eligible for marrying. He wished he would be happy for the rest of his life. He smiled and shook his head, thinking that love for his mansion and the winery will make him do foolish things, that his heart did not approve. He wanted to get married to Elisabeth Buck who he did not love but had to marry in order to get back land that belonged to his family years ago.

Jungkook frowned at the thought of his possible future wife. His family was always known to be possessive of their loved ones. He knew how jealous his father would get if his mother shown even a tiny bit of interest in someone else than his father. He was weirded out by that because he was exactly the same copy of his father and the woman he wanted to marry had in the bed new man every night. But Jungkook somehow did not care. He wished there would be at least a tiny bit of jealousy, that would show him he had any feelings for the Elisabeth, but nothing. He knew her since childhood and was well aware that his feelings for her will not change. His friends called him crazy once they knew Jungkook asked her to marry him. Even if the jealousy was not inherited, Jungkook was sure he was stubborn just like his father. He was ready to get married just for the wealth and his family’s name.

Captain looked at his bed and walked closer to you. The sobs were getting quieter until they stopped completely. He knew you fell asleep, but it was no calm sleep. It reminded him of the sleep of an exhausted person. He bowed down and took blanket into his hands to cover you properly, uncovering your face, letting the fresh air getting to you. The last thing he was expecting in his cabin was a virgin. He knew they were problematic and that was the reason why he tried to avoid them all his life. He preferred spending time with skilled ones who were enjoying their life to the fullest without any worries. They could have been from a brothel or not, cheap or expensive. Jungkook did not care. This was his first night in the docks after a long time spent on the ocean. From the crew, only his servant Jimin and Taehyung stayed aboard that night. He felt horny after many nights without a companion, so he asked Jimin to find him someone for a quickie who was not filthy and very charming. Jungkook wasn’t expecting a virgin who was more beautiful than any other woman he had seen before. It was a miracle that they found you. A young innocent girl who was just turning into a woman. Normally women like that think about the marriage and with their innocence are trying to lure some a man into the trap with their beauty. How else would Jungkook be still single, if he did not try to avoid them as a devil avoids the holy water? But now, when he had to get married to the woman who slept with half of the male population of his town, he wanted to try something else. To refresh his tastes in women but he still could not understand what were your reasons for doing this job. He shook his head and took of the white shit again. He walked closer towards the table and blew out the candle. Jungkook once again looked at your body and then slowly laid down next to you. The last thing he thought about before he fell asleep was the gentle fragrance of your body and the warmth which was radiating from it.

When the first sun rays reached into the cabin, you felt them on your face and sat up straight away, waking up from the slumber. You looked around and then you got reminded of the events of the last night. Jungkook who was sleeping next to you had his arm over your bust, but as you sat up, his arm slid down on your thighs. You could feel the weight of something on your legs and when you looked down, you saw his left leg being crossed over your small body. You tried to squirm away without being noticed, but your movement woke Jungkook up. He hasn’t opened his eyes yet, so you took it as a cue to lay down again, pretending to be asleep. When he finally opened his eyes, the first thing he decided to look at was your face. To him, it was a beautiful sight. He loved the way you looked now, but even more when you were laying beneath him last night. Jungkook softly caressed your cheekbones with his thumbs and realised that his fiancé would be really jealous of your beauty. He laughed at the possibility of you two meeting. Elisabeth is proud of her beauty, and Jungkook knew she would despite standing next to even more beautiful woman than she was. His fiancé was proclaimed as the most beautiful woman in the town, even though there were many beauties. Jungkook never noticed it though, but people were probably right. Her face and hair were pretty, and her tall body was indeed attractive. Jungkook thought about the woman who he promised he would marry but then again looked at you sleeping next to him. If you were to come to his hometown, then they would for sure forget about Elisabeth’s beauty.

Jungkook bowed down a little to kiss your ear and nibbled it a little. You widened your eyes quicky before you could realise what was Jungkok doing. “Good morning, little one,” he whispered softly and tried to reach for your lips with his own. You were still, not trying to make any movement, being scared that if you would do anything, it would only provoke him. But Jungkook did not need it, the memories of last night were still raw and he was ready for another round. He was kissing your lips softly, but then moved to your eyes, the neck and headed towards the shoulder, where he stayed for a bitting you softly. The shiver ran down your spine as you saw Jungkook looking for the nipple and started licking it slowly, making small kitten but very passionate licks. “Don’t!“ you silently shouted, “Don’t do that!” Jungkook looked at you and the lust in his eyes was evident. “You will have to get used to this, little one.” You wanted to run away from his amused look, so the only thing you could do was turn your head to the side and beg. “No. Please, not. Don’t do that. Don’t hurt me again. Let me go.”

“I will not hurt you this time, little one.” He exhaled near your ear, which he was kissing softly. He covered you with his body as you were trying to push him away. You tried to press your legs together and to scratch him, just to make sure he would stop. Jungkook laughed as he loved the way you protested. “You have more strength now than you had last night,” he grabbed both of your arms pulling them up and then locking them in his grasp above your head. He managed to keep your arms above with one hand and slid the other down to your left breast to play with it. You kept on resisting, trying to push him away, but it was all in vain. With a swift move of his knee, he separated your pressed legs and you could feel him once again deep inside.

This time you did not cry, you had no tears left. Instead the hate and fear appeared within you. When he finished, he pulled away from you and you took that as a cue to clew up yourself by hugging your legs close to your chest. When Jungkook looked into your eyes, he frowned and sat next to you. He reached in to caress your cheek because he was feeling that he had to calm you down, but when you moved to the side, to avoid his touch, Jungkook was confused and stopped. His eyes widened as he realised that you were not pretending and were actually scared of him. He frowned even more and instead of your face, he reached for your hair, to entangle a fallen strand in his finger. “You are really something, little one.” He whispered softly. “You could have gotten a large sum of money for what you lost with me tonight. Anyone would be willing to pay you a lot for that but you still chose to be a prostitute and as I have heard, you came with my men willingly, not even trying to talk about the price or anything. You never told me that you were a virgin and did not try to ask for more.” He let go or your trembling body and continued: “The dress that you wore was expensive, some woman from the street would have to work for a year to get them. I am sure you are of high status, but I cannot explain why would you offer your virginity on the street. Someone could have raped you and you would lose it just like that.” You sit up a little and looked at him, not understanding what he was trying to say.“It looks like you are coming from a good family. You are beautiful, you have an expensive dress but still…” Jungkook grabbed you by the hand and pulled you to him. “ But you still chose to do this.” He softly caressed your palm and then lightly pressed kiss on the place he just touched. “When you came in yesterday, you were calm and willing, but now you were trying to push me away, not letting me be gentle to you.” It was only then when you realised, that he was not one of the men from yesterday.

Oh Gosh! You gasped as you thought about the price you paid for your fear. You then realised you should have waited for the judgement right at that place where you killed the man or just stayed in the poverty where you were trying to run away from. At least you would have not lost your virginity. “It is okay, Y/N. Don’t be afraid. I will take care of you and you will live in comfort. I arrived just yesterday and I will stay for a while. While I will be here, you will be my companion. I will take care of you and will make sure that you have your own house while I’ll-“

He was interrupted by your sudden burst of laughter. It was hysterical laughter that came out of nowhere when you realised what was the situation you were in. The huge smile on your face soon changed into sobs and tears started running down your cheeks. You looked down but suddenly shot your head up to look at the confused Jungkook.  “ I wasn’t selling myself on the streets. I just got lost.“ The captain frowned being silenced by the confession. “But you went with my men willingly,” he interrupted you and you just shook your head to sides. “I thought they were sent to look for me.” When Jungkook did not continue, you realised he does not know about your sin. He does not know about what you committed yesterday and why you were running away. “Aren’t your parents worried?“ You shook your head once again. “No, they died a long time ago. I am living with my aunt. But she does not care about me much.” You whispered the last sentence and whipped your tears away. “Then I do not see the reason, Y/N, why you could not stay with me and become my lover. I will find you a house where you could live happily and when I come here, I will spend time with you there. I will give you a large amount of money so you would not have to look for other men, than myself. Well, I would not let you do that anyways and once if I decide to come back here and will need woman companion, I will just go to you. It is a win-win for both of us.”

You silently stood up and got dressed in the clothes he met you in yesterday. For almost a second, you did not feel the hatred towards him but once he finished his monologue, it was back. You never thought you could hate someone so much as you hated Jungkook. His carefree nature drove you crazy and you were ready to jump at him and scratch his handsome face. Jungkook stood up and walked toward the window, you took it as your free pass to leave. Even though you were wearing the dress that brought back memories, you were willing to take all of them if it meant to flee from the man who wasn’t looking at you. You bit your lower lip and swiftly but silently reached for the backpack you brought yesterday and started backing away towards the door. Your plan disappeared once you heard him shout your name. “Y/N!” you looked up at the man and let go of the backpack surprised. His dark eyes were staring into yours and he noticed that you started breathing faster. With fast steps, Jungkook walked towards you and grabbed your arm. “Did you think, I would let you run away from me? You are beautiful and I haven’t found a replacement yet. And let me be honest, I have no desire to let you go.”

Part 3

a/n: do you want part 3? let me knowwww :) also, I might make a tag list for this series, so let me know if you want to be part of it. 💜

[joecial-distancing]

2021 Roundup!

Another month down, another chance to take stock and look back, and even better, it’s the end of the year! which meannnnns...... list season babey!

Before media lists, though, I want to double back on life highlights, how I did with 2021 goals, etc. there were a lot of them!

Highlights - I got into fermenting, which has been fun & delicious - Moved in with my girlfriend, which has been incredible - Started running again - Managed to do some traveling: went to Puerto Rico, and the American Southwest - Went to something like 5 weddings in three months - Finally went to get screened for ADHD, got the diagnosis, and started medication (substantial quality-of-life improvement!)

2021 Resolutions in review:

Get moving on jobsearch and figure out why it’s so hard for me to do This one’s finally got some momentum in the last stretch here, but it took way longer than I’d wanted. Originally was hoping to have this wrapped up over the summer.

Recommit to health: stretch more, and most importantly fix sleep schedule One-upped this by regularly going running again, though started slacking on stretching on non-running days. Committed extremely well to normalizing my sleep, though (helps to live with an early-to-bed/early-to-rise partner).

Reestablish routine of reading did pretty well with regular bedtime reading for a while, but started flagging pretty hard halfway through the year. Also I think I kind of burned myself out on too much Pynchon. I also gave up on a lot of books this year, which is probably healthy in the long run, but I still don’t like doing it. Hoping to recommit this one for next year

Write more: Ehhh, did monthly review posts here, wrote some stuff about Dune... not super happy with that output, but it’s more than nothing.

Take more initiative: specifically regarding friends and hobbies Did pretty bad with this one, I feel like if anything I’ve gotten even more reclusive.

Will cover 2022 resolutions in a different post once the year actually hits, I think

2021 media consumption tracking [toot toot]:

Books!

Real big-picture societal construction fascination happening this year, apparently. And/or a lot of Thomas Pynchon. Love his stuff, but will probably be good to take a break for a while

Midwest Futures: Really nice read, particularly myself being a child of the Midwest. Historical perspective as a place plotted, seized, and settled with the explicit goal of generating money, and the weirdness induced by regional mythmaking that papers over this history with an obsession with being The Average.

The Odyssey (Emily Wilson translation): Posted about this one a bit, but my big takeaways were 1.) this translation had me understanding meter and why it’s interesting in a much more visceral way than I’d really been exposed to before; and 2.) I keep trying to remember this story as seafaring adventures, when really the text is mostly about a guy and his son taking their shit back from people who you as the audience cannot wait to see get slaughtered.

Mason & Dixon: I finished this thinking it wasn’t one of my preferred Pynchons, but it keeps sneakily coming back to mind as I read other stuff involving 18th-century America (Midwest Futures, and particularly The Dawn of Everything). It’s also an interesting book to read as someone whose career has relied a lot on satellite imagery and land surveying — it has a lot to say on the way these means of interacting with the world comprise systems of control and submission. The survey line whose construction the majority of the book depicts comes to represent in no uncertain terms a sort of original sin for the land that will become the United States.

Kapital p1: Stalled out on this after the first section, unfortunately

The Shining: It was good to read an early King from before he’d really begun to solidify his preferred building blocks

Inherent Vice: Read this after watching the movie, which was maybe somewhat helpful for keeping anchored. The rare Pynchon where the writing itself wasn’t actively challenging. In a lot of ways it feels to me like a second pass on a lot of the stuff that he’d covered in Vineland, but delivered a lot more tightly and clean.

The Confidence-Man: Also tapped out on this one partway through. Felt like I’d gotten the gist of it, and wanted to move onto other stuff. Might revisit later.

Dune! (reread): For whatever reason, I’d had it in my head that Herbert’s weird proclivities didn’t start to poke through until later books, but even with this first one there’s a lot of various messiness that I think I hadn’t really picked up on back when I first read it. Like I was too busy trying to keep all the setting in my head to notice where he’s going with certain themes, and how entire long plot threads get no payoff whatsoever. Still an A+ read.

Against the Day: probably my second-favorite Pynchon, takes a real long walk through the transition of the 19th century to the 20th. In addition to stuff I’d written about this earlier, it puts a light onto aspects of the buildup to WWI that I otherwise probably wouldn’t have passively encountered, e.g. the relations of the Ottoman Empire against Austria-Hungary, the prevalence of anarchist movements, and the scale of the russian empire’s ethnic heterogeneity (if not equity).

Molloy: I tried so hard with this one, but had to tap out. Eyes sliding right off the page

The Master and Margarita: Russian Lit continuing to have a good hit rate for me. A very weird, funny, and often sweet read. High-tier devil depiction, though going with a Faust-inspired devil’s usually a winner. I really felt as the thing was winding down that it turned into a real case of a story made by a writer for fuckin writers, y’know? Which still works extremely well given the censorship jokes and the actual hellishness of this book’s publication history.

Mumbo Jumbo: I had a really bad sense the whole way through of which parts were meant to be satirical, and which were dead-serious but dressed as satirical (by which I mostly mean the knights templar stuff). The parable of Atonism toward the end was outstanding.

Bleeding Edge: Maybe I was burned out on Pynchon, maybe Pynchon was burned out on Pynchon, who can say really. Definitely a sense that I as a reader of Pynchon was being deliberately fucked with for being exactly that, which, fair play if so.

The Dawn of Everything: Book in progress!

Movies

Animal House: not all that good. Sorry to a generation that apparently grew up with this. Like seriously, there’s so many people I’ve encountered whose sense of humor is entirely beholden to like a particular era of SNL, it’s so fuckin annoying

Blues Brothers: Belushi twofer I guess. I liked the musician cameos and surprise carrie fisher appearance quite a bit.

Easy A: Think I prefer 10 Things I Hate About You for highschool lit adapted as teen movie, but pretty charming, still.

Mank: Not the kind of thing I really want to be going to David Fincher for.

Magnolia: an all-time favorite movie now. Absolutely wonderful & touching, delivers so hard it gets away with stuff I’d never tolerate from other movies.

Inherent Vice: Really need to rewatch this after having read the book

Britney doc: if there’s two things I hate a fuckin lot, it’s paparazzi and people playing dumb, so hoo boy,

Jaws: I’d never seen this before! Excellent reminder of how good Spielberg’s been capable of being

Lethal Weapon/Lethal Weapon 2: man, remember mel gibson being in things?

Dr. Strangelove (rewatch): stone-cold classic

Xfiles movie: The one where they go to antarctica. thoroughly mediocre.

Smokin’ Aces: Absolutely perfect idea for a movie, so it’s a shame the movie itself doesn’t really live up to the concept. Extremely funny use of Ben Affleck, though.

Godfathers Rewatch (I and II): They’re quite good. Wish my italian were better.

Cliffhanger: Jesus Christ this one surprised me. Genuinely scary setpieces, good fights, outstanding John Lithgow performance. Opening scene actually freaked me out a lot.

Promising Young Woman: one of the most muddled endings to a thing I’ve seen in a while.

Die Hard: Hadn’t seen this one before either! extremely well-deserved reputation, RIP Alan Rickman.

Aliens: I need to get my hands on Alien 3 at some point to test my hot take that it’s better than this one. Quotable, though!

Mr. Vampire: this was a riot start to finish

8 1/2: Quintessential movie about a Type of Guy. Also a filmmaker’s-ass movie about filmmaking. Another movie that makes me wish my italian was better, Only character talking slow enough that I could pick up on was explicitly not from italy.

Gamer: Clocks in at a kind of The Mummy level, where it doesn’t actually have to be good to be compelling.

Midsommar: haha oh my god that boyfriend’s such a piece of shit! The descent kept going to the point that it stopped being annoying and started being hilarious

Fight Club: K, box checked, worth the watch for sure.

Bo Burnham’s Insides: went in kind of expecting to not like it, ended up being really won over.

50 Shades of Grey: hahaaaa hey guys he’s 50 shades of fucked up!!

Black Widow: poor use of Rachel Weisz, but Florence Pugh completely upstaged everyone in this.

Project marvel rewatch: doing real deep dive on all feature films under the banner, chronological order, revisiting fond nostalgia and gritting our teeth through some fucking dreck. Not gonna list all of them, just certain highlights, things that really made me feel:

Howard the Duck: all-time contender among wretched movies, incredible piece of shit. Horrible viewing experience but fond memories.

Bana Hulk and Norton Hulk: Both of these were actually pretty good! Bana one in particular, Nick Nolte's performance is completely unhinged, it’s great.

Daredevil: Evanescence needle drop and Colin Farrell’s performance redeem so much about this one.

Even as a Nic Cage vehicle, Ghost Rider doesn’t hold up

xmen 3 and fantastic 4 are remembered as these irredeemably terrible movies, but really they’re just mediocre on the scale of things

The romance writing in the Raimi Spidermans is completely insane, but the directing and performances are still wildly better than basically all the rest of these.

Disney takes over, removes sexuality, removes music (and wants backpats when it occasionally puts it back in), adds military bullshit, goes all-in on really cheap-looking cg effects

Hot Rod: watched this then immediately could call to mind everyone I knew in high school who had clearly seen this

Rocky Horror Picture Show: I wish I liked this more, and the first third or so is genuinely really fun

Hocus Pocus: lotta fun!

Practical Magic: unfairly good cast

Casper: Man, remember movie sets?

Some netflix christmas movie with brooke shields and the guy from princess bride: It was fine. They kind of decided to underplay the requisite fight-that-threatens-to-tear-them-apart, which was nice.

White Christmas: One time my sister and I were invited to join my brother and his then-girlfriend’s family to a screening of this, but, like, a rocky horror style screening where the audience is supposed to be shouting and saying things to the screen. So right off the bat this is the lamest idea for an event, but then my brother had to bail on this for some reason, so it’s just my sister and I at this bad show with Not Our family. Nothing about this situation made any fucking sense.

TV

X-files: Watched every episode of this wretched show, including the revival seasons. I had a brief window of goodwill circa s2-3 that is pretty much entirely evaporated by now. Can’t believe people put up with this show.

Documental: some of the funniest stuff I’ve seen in a really long time. There’s a weird element, where, like I really hate laugh tracks on sitcoms, but something that I think is key to making this show work is that Matsumoto is also being recorded concurrent to the action, just completely laughing his head off at the stuff that’s going on.

Taskmaster: a delight

The Expanse: The main actor's a weak link imo, but solid sci-fi show.

I Think You Should Leave: Tried watching s1 with a friend once and couldn’t really connect with this. But watching it alone, though...

Only Murders in the Building: I like the people in this, show’s mediocre though

What We Do in the Shadows (s3): still staying funny for me

Over the Garden Wall: never saw this before, even though I’m sure that this has to have a pretty vocal fanbase.

Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency: can definitely feel the douglas adams in this, s2 was kind of ruined a bit by a lot of really obnoxious performances.

Games

fuck, man, I dunno... played a lot of Into the Breach and Hades in the first part of the year, and a lot of Slay the Spire in the second part, tried replaying Diablos 2 and 3, neither of which stuck for very long

Hollow Knight: this was really fun for a while, but I ended up getting way too bogged down toward the end, wound up not finishing.

Sekiro: Made for a very good summer project. This kind of ruined the Souls games for me, though, I can’t go back to dealing with a stamina bar now.

Deltarune ch2, Undertale revisit: The games aren’t long enough to really get properly lost in them, but deltarune is extremely good, and undertale holds up, even if it can’t recapture the first playthrough.

Music?

good fuckin question.

[cherr-e]

𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓 | based in 18th century Korea - JOSEON.

❝ You were never meant to live for love, ranks and hierarchy mattered the most. Prince Lee Taeyong was at the top of the hierarchy, he was the youngest out of four brothers. He knew he was not made for the throne and lived his life away from the epicentre of Joseon, in peace with his poems and music. Yet the son of his father’s respected friend peaks his interest in what he would later on define as love. ❞

DISCLAIMER ⚠️ this is an alternate universe of the ship OLIYONG. this is a piece of fiction, and does not refer to any location or individual throughout this mini-series from start to finish. this is not a historical or documentary work and is purely made for entertainment.

[...] means a soundtrack that would sound nice in the scene, similar to a movie. 

masterlist | episode one:- we’ve become part of the past.

The petals of cherry blossoms swayed underneath the hands of the wind, it was the end of another spring which meant Prince Taeyong had to attend to his seasonal visits at the main palace. The place where he spent most of his childhood and teen years, trapped and lost. His brothers busy competing to become better than the other and that was why he had now resided to the countryside. Away from his royal duties, and only payed respect to his father. 

A few days and he’d be home again, busy humming along to his poems and music while he played to the young children of the small village he resided in. “How long will you stay here?” His right-wing man, Taeil, spoke up after throwing back a shot of rice wine from the local bar they frequented in Hanyang - the capital of Joseon. “I don’t really know, probably for two days. There’s nothing interesting about my family’s lives. Same old shit, brothers fighting over who’s the better royal. Don’t even get me started on their wives.” Taeyong rolled his eyes at the thought of those evil gossipers. They probably wondered why he wasn’t wed yet, making up rumours that he would bed men of the countryside. 

Well he did have an open opinion towards love, but at the same time believed love was for the weak. It was something his family would use against him, if he ever felt that emotion begin to wrap its fingers around his mind - he would push it to the ends of the earth and forget it in his tattered books. “You’re dozing off again.” Taeil munched on the anju served with the alcohol - “I’m already thinking of heading home.” Taeyong sighed, his eyes shining with sadness and regret. This was how it was with every seasonal visit, he was reminded of how boring his life was. A life many strived for, but he felt like his opinions did not align with society. Not anymore at least. 

An hour had passed, Taeil taking it slow with his alcohol yet his superior had downed two bottles of rice wine and soju, forgetting about the busy day ahead of him tomorrow. The royal prince looked sad whenever he was drunk, the walls he built around himself after all these years tumbled after a sip of alcohol. A lost young frail boy, with big shining eyes that yearned for a new life - his face was clean-shaven, sparse from any form of facial hair. He looked more like a young naive boy despite being in his twenties and having his fair share of problems.

[ ... lover’s first ]

“Let’s head back to the palace Taeil-ssi.” Taeyong slurred, cheeks pink and puffy. “I’ll pay for the alcohol. Wait for me at the entrance.” Moon Taeil smiled softly while his friend scurried off to where he would stand, but the sound of a loud performance had dragged his tired body towards the buzz of the street. Like a moth to a flame. He was enraptured by the sounds of Hanyang at night, lost in the midst of crowds, he was normal and he probably looked like a useless drunkard to others. It was the buzz of the night that drove Taeyong’s adrenaline, he swam in the crowd. Wind hitting his face as the cold night began to dance between the people. Soon, droplets of rain had fallen on his face - pitter patter they fell. Droplets became a light drizzle, some of the crowds ran to seek shelter and the business men sprinted to protect their stands from getting wet. 

Being lost in the crowds brought euphoria to his melancholic soul, losing concentration of reality lead to him slipping on the wet floor and bumping into a taller large build. Papers and brushes scattered across the ground, soaking in the water from the skies. Taeyong helped pick up the mess he created, apologising quickly as he repeated “sorry” a billion times. The artist grinned, finding the younger man’s drunk state slightly amusing. 

“You draw well.” He handed the artist the last painting. “Thank you.” The man had a deeper voice, slightly rough with an accent hidden at the end of the two words he spoke. “You sound like you’re not from Hanyang.” Taeyong pointed out, the rain still continuing its assault on the strangers “you could say that.” He smiled again, this time it made Taeyong’s heart pick up its pace. 

The stranger was a very handsome man, who looked to be in his mid twenties, the tan skin and accent meant he was probably from a place further east but the hanbok he wore looked to be made of the finest of materials imported from China and made by well-known tailors who served the rich. It was dark purple, the sleeves and trousers black - disagreeing with the season that had just recently arrived in Joseon. Taeyong pondered, the artist looked like someone who did not conform to society as the colours he wore did not represent summer at all. Despite the smile and the kind demeanour the stranger had shown off to the Prince, sad souls recognised one another because the sleepless nights lay beneath their eyes, and the colours of summer did not break their cries.

Kim Minjae grabbed his soaked painting from the delicate hands of the drunkard in front of him. The drawings were most likely ruined, but it wasn’t like anyone was going to view his work - he was the son of one of the highest ranking war generals in the country, he was trained to battle for the worse. Not to paint foolish moments he found appealing that weakened a part of his soul, he hated being talented in the arts.

“I’ll be off then.” Minjae chuckled, and Taeyong nodded his head - he wanted to ask for the artists’ name, but he kept quite and stepped aside. “It was nice meeting you Mr Drunkard.” He spoke one last time, and Taeyong watched as the man drowned in the ambiance of the night. The rain still continued, and Taeyong was soaking wet yet he felt very high. That buzz of adrenaline, it was still swimming in his bloodstream, his heart reached to his ears, was it excitement? Curiosity because to that tall man? The rain and alcohol? 

He was hoping the reason for his body to be so awake was of something stupid and not because of that broken artist. The last thing he needed were feelings for a sorrowful stranger. 

“I heard the servants watched you come in late last night.” Minjae halted at the sound of his father’s stern lifeless voice. He cleared his throat and said, “I went out for some air and got carried away a little bit,” he remembered the table manners he had learnt a few months back. Never eat when conversing with someone older than you. 

“Did you draw anything?” General Kim picked up rice with his chopsticks and chewed on it slowly. He never looked his son in the eye ever, Minjae did not know why, He preferred looking at nature instead of his stupid useless son. “No father. I haven’t drawn in a long time.” 

His father grunted in acknowledgement: “well done.” They sat in silence, the sound of utensils hitting against the expensive bowls and plates. Breakfast always consisted of a silent father, Minjae still did not why his father had shown up a few years back in the countryside he grew up in. The expensive clothing, the sleek black horse and the small army that were behind his father - it was a different world to Minjae then, he was used to ragged clothes, playing with the country kids and singing along to their lullabies, drawing whatever he found pretty and appreciating small things. That life was over now, and he had a new future - a better one. 

“His Majesty, the King would like to meet you today, he wants to see how well you fair off on the battlefield and has invited us to sparring with his sons. All four of them. Do well.” General Kim stood up from the table, the servants bowing as he passed by them. Kim Minjae stopped chewing, and threw his chopsticks on the table - not a single goodbye, like its always been. 

The journey to the palace was slightly embarrassing, he wore the finest of clothes his father had brought him - a light blue hanbok with white trousers and white sleeves. He looked soft, happy even from the exterior which only mattered to the king. The commoners marvelled at his looks, he was slightly shy at the compliments and the fawning girls. He was not used to this, he hated being underneath the spotlight - the centre of the crowd. 

Now his father and Minjae bowed down to the King in front of them, he wore his red and golden robes and smiled at the sight of Minjae. “He looks strong Manshik-ssi.” The King had a hoarse voice, like death was just around the corner, a long grey beard that reached mid-way to his neck was adorned on his face, wrinkled skin that had aged over the years. 

Minjae lifted his head up after the King had ordered him to and he gave a smile, “it’s a pleasure to meet you, your Majesty.” The King chuckled, and turned to his sons. “These are my four sons, if I see you worthy today you may be defending Joseon with them one day.” He spoke proudly, and waited for the warrior to introduce himself.

Taeyong was gobsmacked, annoyed maybe, he wanted to curse the skies. Scream even but he was curious, “It’s a pleasure to meet you all your Royal Highnesses, my name is Kim Minjae and one day I wish to be your loyal consort and friend in the nearby future.” 

[ ... the artists’ lullaby ]

“Minjae. Kim Minjae was the artists’ name,” the professor turned to his students after writing up the name on the large chalkboard. “He was one of the greatest artists of the Joseon period, you could even say he was ahead of his time with the portraits and drawings of nature. Instead of following fellow artists, with inspiration from the Chinese, his work resembled European art.”

He clicked his projector remote and showed the countless pieces that Minjae hated, “historians say that he hated his art so much after becoming rich, and despised whoever viewed his art. Apart from one, the fourth prince and son of King Do-hun. Lee Taeyong. Some say they were close friends while others believed they were lovers, the poems Taeyong wrote after he had met Minjae were self-explanatory.” The class chuckled, and the professor smiled. 

Minjae and Taeyong’s love had become part of history. 

[mbcoldstorage]

Transcendence of the analog image

https://forum.arsenal-berlin.de/forum-forum-expanded/programm-forum/ste-anne/essay-transzendenz-des-analogbildes/

"Art is magic, freed from the lie of being truth" (Theodor W. Adorno)

A return to a culture of origin - or an attempt at self-determination that can only succeed if you make peace with your past? STE moves between these two poles . ANNEfor a long time without clearly giving preference to one direction over the other. In any case, it is a film with biographical borrowings: The title of the feature film debut by the Canadian Rhayne Vermette refers to the city in the province of Manitoba where her family once settled. Even before any narrative constriction, there is a poetic evocation: Vermette's film is an ode to the land of her ancestors, who, like herself, are members of the Métis, an ethnic minority that, at the end of the 18th century, emerged from the union of French-born settlers and indigenous people Population groups emerged.

In the film, the land, both a visual object and a “state of mind”, appears as close as it is remote. Close, because for Vermette it is a familiar environment, a landscape that she knows all too well; enraptured because the landscape in STE. ANNE does not offer a realistic setting through which the protagonists move habitually. Rather, it is de-familialized here from the start: Even the first recordings of the film, shot at the interface between day and night, allow viewers to pass a kind of threshold, enter a twilight zone . One looks at painting-like images of a steppe-like nature with mighty cloud formations, in addition to the chirping of birds and a restrained ambient sound that briefly swells threateningly.

Scar in the family structure

The woman who tiredly walks through one of these pictures is called Renée. Years after her mysterious disappearance, she returns to the settlement where her daughter Athene lives, who has since been raised like her own child by Renée's brother Modeste and his wife Eleanor. Before we learn anything about Renée's motives, Athene addresses her mother, who was believed to be lost - in an intimate voiceover monologue, she expresses the hope that she can finally get closer and share the spirits that haunt her with her.

Vermette embeds this inner monologue by Athene in a scene of communal commonality, the film keeps coming back to scenes of this kind: people gathered around a campfire, a folk song is sung; People who gather at the table. After the atmospherically ambiguous beginning, the joy of meeting now prevails. However, the separation has left a scar in the family structure - not least, athenes self-image is challenged. Does she now have two mothers, is she “just lucky,” as she once put it to a friend?

For both her mother Renée and herself, the reunification leads to an attempt to get to know her own roots better. Vermette tells this process of approaching and confronting the past with the rules of a fiction that falls back on conventions. You can see repeatedly how mother and daughter leaf through family albums together, but in the first of these scenes the depicted father himself appears as a transparent ghost in the image section. This is not scary: he is eating an apple and looking down at the others in a friendly manner. One can take the scene as the first indication that STE. ANNEit is more about juxtaposition: about images that can be memories, visions or views or several of them at the same time, but which are rarely realistic documents.

Photographs have a special status as artifacts in film. Renée has a crumpled old picture of a Ste. Anne, which she has acquired and where she would like to settle one day. The picture is an object of longing and at the same time a hand oracle that shows her the way into a self-determined future - although her project only seems possible via the detour of the fulfillment of a mythical prophecy. Athene, in turn, pins her mother's photo from the family album on the wall. When she touches it, this seems to trigger a chemical reaction that trembles the film image and, in the form of changing shades of color, apparently activates an inner intensity of the image, its affective potential.

Physical interweaving of image and world

According to the semiotic Charles S. Pierce, the photographic image (on film material) maintains an indexical connection to reality. It is a physical sign, a light print and at the same time the result of a medial transmission. With her work, Vermette consciously connects to this physical interweaving of image and world. She even goes beyond that when she ascribes a magic to the picture, an excess or residue of transcendence that must remain hidden from the naked eye. Horror films (just think of the horrific photo of the girl at the beginning of Nicholas Roeg's DON'T LOOK NOW) have repeatedly appropriated this mysterious charge of images. In STE. ANNEit is more about a spiritual-cosmic flicker, about the coexistence of different levels of time and being. Images seem most likely to be able to connect to the cyclical principle of the Métis culture. The time level of the film therefore remains deliberately unclear, past and present seem to overlap; At the same time, however, the camera has always been the medium for Vermette itself to relate to these traditions in the present. The fact that she herself can be seen in the role of Renée (and various family members appear) gives this artistic examination of her own history of origin even more urgency.

Recourse to the filmic carrier material is essential for Vermette's aesthetic approach. She shoots with a Bolex camera on 16mm and already with this practice refers to methods of experimental or avant-garde film; in interviews she mentions the tickle that results from the fact that you never know for sure what the finished image will look like in the end. In her short films, she made the materiality of the film an even more explicit topic, or rather linked the fiction itself to the volatility of the medium. In LE CHÂSSIS DE LOURDES (2016), who with STE. ANNE corresponds most strongly, she reflects on her flight from the family network and then works through the films and photographs that her father made with a camera that he passed on to her, as it were from the newly gained distance.

With the help of a flowing, yet high-frequency montage, she creates an undertow with the recordings from the house of her childhood, which, with the help of the medium of film, deconstructs that imaginary place that is commonly referred to as “home”. Memory is identified as a construction and the private environment, which one walks through again in pictures or rather scans through, is expanded into a collective space. By making the film material, the individual frames, the soundtrack and the perforation of the film strip visible, Vermette also turns the semantic units outwards. It rearranges and animates (right down to the processing of the individual cadre) the source material, not least through the sound,

LE CHÂSSIS DE LOURDES, as a (re) appropriation and extension of one's own family history, is nevertheless a differently polarized home movie than STE ANNE. Because only her feature film poses the question of how belonging to a traditional but already fragmented culture can be combined with the individualistic demands of a modern woman. Instead of following a progressive plot, Vermette creates passages which she then relates to one another using a method similar to sampling (she describes hip-hop artist and producer Madlib as one of her role models). Motifs are intoned, take a back seat and are taken up again later. One is the matriarchal structure of the Métis community, which is shown early on in the film in social togetherness, in which anecdotes about the past are exchanged. That sequence is particularly haunting in which the women in anachronistic costumes go from house to house as nuns with their faces wrapped in bandages. If you first believe yourself in a horror film, the scenario is later identified as a ritual that ends with the exuberant feast of the captured delicacies - a rebellious act that creates common ground among the women.

Metaphysics in moving images

Vermette embeds such passages in impressionistic landscape panoramas in which nature (and its spiritual forces) come to an independent present in the materiality of the film. The shots of barren autumn forests, wintery snowy landscapes and rivers, which have fragile textures and changing color intensities, do not just work as poetic inserts. Rather, they form the larger resonance space for the changes that are emerging in the family structure. The grandmother is repeatedly seen looking out into the night, at the moon and a stray dog, as if she saw a portent in them. Nature has a somatic quality that also manifests itself in the grain of the 16mm pictures or the veils of color that flicker around the pictures - an effect which is enhanced by the complex sound design. Once wrinkled hands plunge into a body of water, which seems to trigger a chain reaction on the sound level. When ice flowers on windows, ornate enamel and the swirl pattern on a body of water come together in a figurative dance, then it also tells of a cosmic roof over people and things.

This is also borne out by the highlighted scene in which the immanence of this community - one feels reminiscent of a film by Apichatpong Weerasethakul - emerges most clearly in the film: As in a daydream, Renée first climbs a hill in slow motion with tents on it. Then the horns of a bull glow in the dark, it snorts like a god of nature, while Renée tells of her premonition of a coming disaster. Did it create these pictures? She asks the being. Or is this just the sad result of someone else, i.e. representation itself?

That stays in STE. ANNE, of course, in the balance; But when you think about these questions you inevitably think of the director herself, the real originator of this metaphysics in moving images. Renée's path to independence is not only to be had at the price of breaking with the culture of origin. The idea of ​​standing on her own two feet with Athena paradoxically brings her closer to her own roots. The decisive factor, however, is the film medium, which prepares the ground for the reconciliation of the opposing worlds: their real life and the spiritual space of family tradition. Only this gives form to magical thinking.

Dominik Kamalzadeh is the cultural editor of the Vienna daily Der Standard and member of the editorial board of the film magazine Kolik.Film . He lives in Vienna.

[norwegianpornfaerie]

Dear Yuletide Writer 2020

First of all, thank you! This is an unusual year for us all, and Yuletide is one of those few things we can still enjoy just like usual. So I’d like to thank you not just for taking part in this wonderful exchange, but for taking the extra time to read this letter. Please note that I don’t expect you to adhere to everything I say here; I’m providing it in case you’d like to know more. And since you’re here, I’m assuming that’s the case. You’re already doing a great job!

Most importantly: Don’t try to bend over backwards to make your story fit my prompts and suggestions, if you’re not feeling them. I’m assuming you signed up to write my fandoms and characters because you have a genuine interest in them, and that’s what makes for the best stories. So let the optional details be optional, and take the below as a guideline and inspiration!

Do Not Wants: You will find these in my prompts, below the cut.

Things I really enjoy:

First time stories! I absolutely prefer this to anything else, in relationship-focused stories. As I tend to say, I’m secretly an 18th century romantic poet. Slow burn, UST, all that good stuff. I’d rather have one smoking sex scene at the end of a story, with a lot of build-up, than five scattered throughout. I realize you’ve got limited time and words here, but whatever you can give, I will happily take.

Casefic! I love detective stories, especially the classics, so anything in that vein will make me very happy indeed.

Plot, and plot twists. Plot is delicious. I don’t mind character studies, but a good plot will make me happier than anything. And a twist in the tail is my everything.

In-character, explicit sex. If you enjoy writing that sort of thing, I am a sucker for a well-written explicit sex scene. I love reading sex scenes that let the characters shine. Much more interesting than plain porn!

World-building. In science fiction or fantasy canons in particular, I can never get enough of this. Let me know what people have for breakfast, how their clothes are made, where they shop, where they go on vacation and how - tell me about the three seashells! (#obscureDemolitionManreference) In short: Details!

Humor! Humor is so important, in life and fiction alike. Some of my fandoms are humor fandoms, but even those who aren’t, can absolutely benefit from humor. I believe humor is what makes us who we are and keeps us going, be we alien hybrids or robots or just plain humans.

A note on shipping: If I’ve specified a ship and you don’t like it, please don’t feel obligated to write it. I’ve tried to make that clear in the prompts, but it bears repeating.

Now, author, if you’ve read the above and think “but I only write gen” or “but I hate plotty stories” or “I couldn’t write casefic to save my life” - really, really don’t worry. You matched with me because you like one or more of the same fandoms and characters as me, and that’s more than enough. I trust you to write the best story you can, and that means writing it the way YOU want to. I’m obviously very happy if you chose to include some of my likes, but don’t feel forced to do so.

If you’ve read all the above, and you’re still not sure about something, maybe my fics on AO3 might be helpful? I generally like to read the same type of stuff I write.

Thank you, thank you yet again, and have a great Yuletide!

See below the cut for my sign-up details and fandoms.

Robot Series - Isaac Asimov          

R. Daneel Olivaw

Elijah Baley

 Caves of Steel is probably my favorite novel of all time, as are the rest of the novels, and I am very fond of Daneel and Elijah. I find the world they inhabit fascinating, both the future society of Earth, and the Outer Worlds. As I both love detective fiction, science fiction and above all robots, these stories may as well have been written specifically for me. A lot of the appeal lies in how the stories manage both to deliver an entertaining mystery, as well as heart-felt interpersonal drama in a straightforward way. Daneel is one of my favorite fictional characters; the way his empathy and personality shines through programming and limitations.

Wants: Casefic. Seriously, if you can write me casefic for this fandom, I will be delighted. A murder mystery would be fantastic. I do ship Daneel and Elijah, and I would love to read about the unresolved tension between them. Explicit sex would be great! World-building and exploring whichever location they are at, be it Earth or one of the Outer Worlds, or on a space ship or station, etc. Exploration of Daneel's character; Elijah stuggling to come to terms with his feelings for him - preferably romantic feelings, but if you don't want to write that, feelings of deep friendship. Bickering and banter and held-back affection!

Do Not Wants: Daneel or Elijah shipped with other characters. Canonical relationships are okay to mention or feature, but I don't want them to be the main focus of the story. No mention of Elijah's death, please, and no mention of Daneel's ultimate fate - though a story reuniting them after Elijah's death would be more than welcome. No PWP, please, I prefer my porn with added plot. No hurt without comfort. No mention of bodily fluids other than blood, semen or saliva in a sexual context. No body horror/permanent disfigurment.

Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse          

Reginald Jeeves (Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse)

Bertram "Bertie" Wooster (Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse)

 This is one of my comfort fandoms - I take such joy in the language and the characters and the masterful plots... but mostly in Jeeves. I have great affinity for Bertie, and can identify with him quite often, and so it's no wonder that I, too, am deeply fond of Jeeves. I see him as a deeply feeling person with masterful control, and scintilating intelligence. Who also happens to be petty and jealous when it suits him. It is the character interation and interpersonal relationship I adore the most, as well as the clever, intelligent humor.

Wants: I do ship these two, and I would absolutely adore some UST ending in, erm, resolved tension. If you don't care to write that, I'd love a story based on their mutual admiration and friendship. Ideally, I would prefer a story written in first person, but I have no clear preferences as to who should be the narrator. Bertie, of course, narrates most of the stories in canon, but if you are more of a Jeeves, or would rather write in his voice, nothing would be better than that. I believe Bertie is genuinely intelligent and clever, and I love when this is shown in writing. Particularly if Jeeves comes to realize it/comes to Bertie's defense if someone belittles him.

Do Not Wants: Jeeves or Bertie shipped with other characters. No PWP, please, I prefer my porn with added plot. No hurt without comfort. No mention of bodily fluids other than blood, semen or saliva in a sexual context. No body horror/permanent disfigurment.

  Hot Fuzz (2007)  

Nicholas Angel

Danny Butterman

 Hot Fuzz is my favorite of the Cornetto Trilogy, and just plain one of my favorite films overall. I love the details, the clever writing, the loving genre references - but most of all, I love Nicholas and Danny. There is something quite wholesome about the two of them and how they grow together; the joy of two people finding one another a perfect fit. Danny and Nicholas make one another better without changing who they are, which is a wonderful thing. And then there's the tone of the film, which is perfectly balanced; it's funny without being silly, realistic without getting grimdark. Just right.

Wants: I do ship Nicholas and Danny, so I'd love a slow burn romantic story. If you don't ship them, a story about their developing friendship would be very welcome. Domestic scenes and village life! For some reason, I really like reading about these two in a holiday setting, so that would be wonderful. Awkward miscommunication which gets resolved sweetly is my jam for these two. Haplessness and held-back affection and building a life together.

Do Not Wants: Danny or Nicholas shipped with other characters. No PWP, please, I prefer my porn with added plot. No hurt without comfort. No mention of bodily fluids other than blood, semen or saliva in a sexual context. No body horror/permanent disfigurment.

    XCOM: Chimera Squad                    

Cherub (XCOM: Chimera Squad)

 I absolutely love the XCOM franchise, so I was very excited to play Chimera Squad. I was particularly interested to see what society would be like after the war, with human and alien cultures blended. There was a little bit of that in the game, but not nearly enough to satisfy my curiosity - I'm hungry for more! What I love about XCOM, beyond the game mechanics, is the setting and the world-building. When I see a Muton in a t-shirt, I want to know more! I've requested Cherub because he's my favorite character, but I'd prefer something not too character-centric.

Wants: World-building! And lots of it. Show me where people live and work; aliens and hybrids and humans all. How do interspecies relationships work? Can humans interbreed with aliens? How has alien culture affected society? Burger Palace: We need to know what's going on there. What's popular culture like? All that good stuff.

Do Not Wants: Anything too character-focused or introspective. Any ship is fine, slash or het, so long as it's not the main focus of the story (I want to see the world). No PWP, please, I prefer my porn with added plot. No hurt without comfort. No mention of bodily fluids other than blood, semen or saliva in a sexual context. No body horror/permanent disfigurment.

[phroyd]

This brilliant researcher supports a theory that vindicates important Feminist Thought, but removes some hopeful biological validation of the pre-adolescent Transgender rationale!  And she is totally correct, there IS No Gendered Brain! - Phroyd

You receive an invitation, emblazoned with a question: “A bouncing little ‘he’ or a pretty little ‘she’?” The question is your teaser for the “gender reveal party” to which you are being invited by an expectant mother who, at more than 20 weeks into her pregnancy, knows what you don’t: the sex of her child. After you arrive, explains cognitive neuroscientist Gina Rippon in her riveting new book, The Gendered Brain, the big reveal will be hidden within some novelty item, such as a white iced cake, and will be colour-coded. Cut the cake and you’ll see either blue or pink filling. If it is blue, it is a…

Yes, you’ve guessed it. Whatever its sex, this baby’s future is predetermined by the entrenched belief that males and females do all kinds of things differently, better or worse, because they have different brains.

A neuroscientist explains: the need for ‘empathetic citizens’ - podcast

“Hang on a minute!” chuckles Rippon, who has been interested in the human brain since childhood, “the science has moved on. We’re in the 21st century now!” Her measured delivery is at odds with the image created by her detractors, who decry her as a “neuronazi” and a “grumpy old harridan” with an “equality fetish”. For my part, I was braced for an encounter with an egghead, who would talk at me and over me. Rippon is patient, though there is an urgency in her voice as she explains how vital it is, how life-changing, that we finally unpack – and discard – the sexist stereotypes and binary coding that limit and harm us.

For Rippon, a twin, the effects of stereotyping kicked in early. Her “under-achieving” brother was sent to a boys’ academic Catholic boarding school, aged 11. “It’s difficult to say this. I was clearly academically bright. I was top in the country for the 11+.” This gave her a scholarship to a grammar school. Her parents sent her to a girls’ non-academic Catholic convent instead. The school did not teach science. Pupils were brought up to be nuns or a diplomatic wife or mother. “Psychology,” she points out, “was the nearest I could get to studying the brain. I didn’t have the A levels to do medicine. I had wanted to be a doctor.”

A PhD in physiological psychology and a focus on brain processes and schizophrenia followed. Today, the Essex-born scientist is a professor emeritus of cognitive neuroimaging at Aston University, Birmingham. Her brother is an artist. When she is not in the lab using state-of-the-art brain imaging techniques to study developmental disorders such as autism, she is out in the world, debunking the “pernicious” sex differences myth: the idea that you can “sex” a brain or that there is such a thing as a male brain and a female brain. It is a scientific argument that has gathered momentum, unchallenged, since the 18th century “when people were happy to spout off about what men and women’s brains were like – before you could even look at them. They came up with these nice ideas and metaphors that fitted the status quo and society, and gave rise to different education for men and women.”

Rippon has analysed the data on sex differences in the brain. She admits that she, like many others, initially sought out these differences. But she couldn’t find any beyond the negligible, and other research was also starting to question the very existence of such differences. For example, once any differences in brain size were accounted for, “well-known” sex differences in key structures disappeared. Which is when the penny dropped: perhaps it was time to abandon the age-old search for the differences between brains from men and brains from women. Are there any significant differences based on sex alone? The answer, she says, is no. To suggest otherwise is “neurofoolishness”.

Plasticity is now a scientific given – the brain is moulded from birth onwards until old age

“The idea of the male brain and the female brain suggests that each is a characteristically homogenous thing and that whoever has got a male brain, say, will have the same kind of aptitudes, preferences and personalities as everyone else with that ‘type’ of brain. We now know that is not the case. We are at the point where we need to say, ‘Forget the male and female brain; it’s a distraction, it’s inaccurate.’ It’s possibly harmful, too, because it’s used as a hook to say, well, there’s no point girls doing science because they haven’t got a science brain, or boys shouldn’t be emotional or should want to lead.”

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The next question was, what then is driving the differences in behaviour between girls and boys, men and women? Our “gendered world”, she says, shapes everything, from educational policy and social hierarchies to relationships, self-identity, wellbeing and mental health. If that sounds like a familiar 20th-century social conditioning argument, it is – except that it is now coupled with knowledge of the brain’s plasticity, which we have only been aware of in the past 30 years.

“It is now a scientific given,” says Rippon, “that the brain is moulded from birth onwards and continues to be moulded through to the ‘cognitive cliff’ in old age when our grey cells start disappearing. So out goes the old ‘biology is destiny’ argument: effectively, that you get the brain you are born with – yes, it gets a bit bigger and better connected but you’ve got your developmental endpoint, determined by a biological blueprint unfolding along the way. With brain plasticity, the brain is much more a function of experiences. If you learn a skill your brain will change, and it will carry on changing.” This is shown to be the case in studies of black cab drivers learning the Knowledge, for example. “The brain is waxing and waning much more than we ever realised. So if you haven’t had particular experiences – if as a girl you weren’t given Lego, you don’t have the same spatial training that other people in the world have.

If, on the other hand, you were given those spatial tasks again and again, you would get better at them. “The neural paths change; they become automatic pathways. The task really does become easier.”

Neural plasticity throws the nature/nurture polarity out of the lab window. “Nature is entangled with nature,” says Rippon. Added to this, “being part of a social cooperative group is one of the prime drives of our brain.” The brain is also predictive and forward-thinking in a way we had never previously realised. Like a satnav, it follows rules, is hungry for them. “The brain is a rule scavenger,” explains Rippon, “and it picks up its rules from the outside world. The rules will change how the brain works and how someone behaves.” The upshot of gendered rules? “The ‘gender gap’ becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.”

Rippon regularly talks in schools. She wants girls to have leading scientists as role models, and she wants all children to know that their identity, abilities, achievements and behaviour are not prescribed by their biological sex. “Gender bombardment” makes us think otherwise. Male babies dressed in blue romper suits, female ones in pink is a binary coding that belies a status quo that resists the scientific evidence. “Pinkification”, as Rippon calls it, has to go. Parents don’t always like what they hear.

The brain is a rule scavenger and it picks up its rules from the outside world

“They say, ‘I have a son and a daughter, and they are different.’ And I say, ‘I have two daughters, and they are very different.’ When you talk about male and female identity, people are very wedded to the idea that men and women are different. People like me are not sex-difference deniers,” continues Rippon. “Of course there are sex differences. Anatomically, men and women are different. The brain is a biological organ. Sex is a biological factor. But it is not the sole factor; it intersects with so many variables.”

I ask her for a comparable watershed moment in the history of scientific understanding, in order to gauge the significance of her own. “The idea of the Earth circling around the sun,” she bats back.

Letting go of age-old certainties is frightening, concedes Rippon, who is both optimistic about the future, and fearful for it. “I am concerned about what the 21st century is doing, the way it’s making gender more relevant. We need to look at what we are plunging our children’s brains into.”

Ours may be the age of the self-image, yet we aren’t ready to let the individual self emerge, unfettered by cultural expectations of one’s biological sex. That disconnect, says Rippon, is writ large, for example, in men. “It suggests there is something wrong in their self-image.” The social brain wants to fit in. The satnav recalibrates, according to expectations. “If they are being driven down a route that leads to self-harm or even suicide or violence, what is taking them there?”

On the plus side, our plastic brains are good learners. All we need to do is change the life lessons.

How gender stereotypes led brain science

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Research so far has failed to challenge deep prejudice, says Gina Rippon

Several things went wrong in the early days of sex differences and brain imaging research. With respect to sex differences, there was a frustrating backward focus on historical beliefs in stereotypes (termed “neurosexism” by psychologist Cordelia Fine). Studies were designed based on the go-to list of the “robust” differences between females and males, generated over the centuries, or the data were interpreted in terms of stereotypical female/male characteristics which may not have even been measured in the scanner. If a difference was found, it was much more likely to be published than a finding of no difference, and it would also breathlessly be hailed as an “at last the truth” moment by an enthusiastic media. Finally the evidence that women are hard-wired to be rubbish at map reading and that men can’t multi-task! So the advent of brain imaging at the end of the 20th century did not do much to advance our understanding of alleged links between sex and the brain. Here in the 21st century, are we doing any better?

One major breakthrough in recent years has been the realisation that, even in adulthood, our brains are continually being changed, not just by the education we receive, but also by the jobs we do, the hobbies we have, the sports we play. The brain of a working London taxi driver will be different from that of a trainee and from that of a retired taxi driver; we can track differences among people who play videogames or are learning origami or to play the violin. Supposing these brain-changing experiences are different for different people, or groups of people? If, for example, being male means that you have much greater experience of constructing things or manipulating complex 3D representations (such as playing with Lego), it is very likely that this will be shown in your brain. Brains reflect the lives they have lived, not just the sex of their owners.

Seeing the life-long impressions made on our plastic brains by the experiences and attitudes they encounter makes us realise that we need to take a really close look at what is going on outside our heads as well as inside. We can no longer cast the sex differences debate as nature versus nurture – we need to acknowledge that the relationship between a brain and its world is not a one-way street, but a constant two-way flow of traffic.

Once we acknowledge that our brains are plastic and mouldable, then the power of gender stereotypes becomes evident. If we could follow the brain journey of a baby girl or a baby boy, we could see that right from the moment of birth, or even before, these brains may be set on different roads. Toys, clothes, books, parents, families, teachers, schools, universities, employers, social and cultural norms – and, of course, gender stereotypes – all can signpost different directions for different brains.

Resolving arguments about differences in the brain really matters. Understanding where such differences come from is important for everyone who has a brain and everyone who has a sex or a gender of some kind. Beliefs about sex differences (even if ill-founded) inform stereotypes, which commonly provide just two labels – girl or boy, female or male – which, in turn, historically carry with them huge amounts of “contents assured” information and save us having to judge each individual on their own merits or idiosyncrasies.

With input from exciting breakthroughs in neuroscience, the neat, binary distinctiveness of these labels is being challenged – we are coming to realise that nature is inextricably entangled with nurture. What used to be thought fixed and inevitable is being shown to be plastic and flexible; the powerful biology-changing effects of our physical and our social worlds are being revealed.

The 21st century is not just challenging the old answers – it is challenging the question itself.

An extract from The Gendered Brain by Gina Rippon, published by Vintage on 28 February for £20. To buy a copy for £15 go to guardianbookshop.com

Phroyd

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 411

This week, on Outlander: Claire carries all of the water for Jamie! Lord John can’t decide if he’s dumb and creepy or a cool dude! Roger is still my designated tea refill break! Bree is back to being the worst! Murgsali remains the best!

It’s week two of my drunk recaps being done while not drunk *shakes fist at the concept of Dry January* and my willpower is being aggressively tested.

I hate this fake-out with Roger as much as I hate the fake-out in ep. 1x03 with Claire and Mrs. Fitz.

Are we going to get Roger back at the stones and his decision to stay and him being recaptured and stuff next week? Or are we just going to pick back up at the village and we just need to fill all that in ourselves? Tbh, I almost would have preferred Roger just not being in this episode...

Oh the title card... Bree is suddenly now a great artist! (Seriously, how the fuck did she never draw Roger at any point before Rogergate happened?! Like, cool if you don’t want to share who raped you, literally this whole thing could have been avoided without sharing that tidbit if Jamie KNEW WHAT ROGER LOOKED LIKE. Oh, thanks for the heads up, Lizzie, but it turns out that the guy you saw is Bree’s boyfiend. I punched him for leaving her, but it turns out he’s just a dick, not a rapist.) (Second week in a row that I’ve made that typo. It’s like even my subconscious doesn’t like Roger.)

And Bree loves drawing the enslaved people on her great-aunt’s plantation! Which she apparently is totally cool with!

Also, Bree says Aunt wrong. It’s a minor thing but one that is driving me up a fucking wall every time she says it. (People in Massachusetts say it like Ahnt, not Ant.)

Geez, Lizzie, Bree doesn’t need to easily forgive Jamie. Jamie doesn’t deserve to be easily forgiven. Honestly, Lizzie is the least to blame for this whole fiasco. She saw a dude being rough with Bree and then the next time she saw Bree was post-rape. Jamie was a complete prick to Bree, beat the shit out of a random guy without letting him get a word in edgewise and had his nephew get rid of him. And then didn’t fucking tell Claire, who probably would have put two and two together, about it. Fuck that guy.

I simultaneously can’t believe and 1000% can believe they read this shit heap of a story line and were like “Yep, this is great stuff! Let’s definitely spend half a season on it!”

ROLLO! THE GOODEST BOY!

Ugh. Young Ian being like “Oh hey, Auntie Claire, how about you go do the emotional labor of making Jamie feel better about being a fucking dumbass!” Hard pass, Ian. Hard fucking pass.

So here for Claire’s “what you *both* thought.” Like yep, Ian, you’re at fault too. I know you love your uncle, but you gave that whole big speech at River Run about being your own man and yada yada, so maybe fucking own your part in this. You didn’t fucking have to sell a guy into fucking slavery. BUT YOU’RE STILL NOT AS MUCH TO BLAME AS JAMIE. FUUUUCK THAT GUY.

Also, Jamie, you dumb fuck. You should have been fucking groveling by now. You get no points for keeping your distance. Nut up and mea culpa the shit out of this situation.

Honestly, if they wanted to make the show just about Fersali and Murtz, at this point I’d be totally on board.

Wait, so Fergus has been unemployed this whole time? How the fuck have they been living for the past year then? What happened to his job at the printer? I have so many questions...

So Bree, who grew up in civil rights era Boston and had a Black roommate, is totally just chill about living on a plantation and being waited on by enslaved people? Like, we’re not going to mention this at all? Cool. Cool cool cool.

Also like fucking mother like daughter. She’s like “Oh hey, Phaedre, I’m going to draw you. Sit there. No, I’m not going to ask if you want to be drawn. Or take into account what Jocasta might do to you because of my decision to make you not be doing what you’re expected to be doing. Like my Mom did with asking you to call her by her first name, I’m just gonna disregard what the consequences might be for you because treating you like this will make me feel better about myself.”

Maria Doyle Kennedy continues to be awesome.

"Sorry! Did I wake ye?” I love Marsali so fucking much.

I really like them giving what was a convo with Jenny and Jamie about Ian in the books to Marsali and Murtagh about Fergus. But man, women do so much of the emotional labor in this fucking episode. Marsali is running a house, caring for a baby and risking having a wanted man sleeping in her kitchen but she also has to like fluff the pillows for Fergus’ feelings.

Yes, I know that spouses should support each other and be there when the other one needs something. But since we see so little of Fersali now, we’re not seeing this as a two way relationship. Just Marsali doing it for Fergus.

That being said, I do think it’s very sweet of Marsali.

“If I wanted him shot, I’d do it myself. And it wouldna be Fergus I’d take aim at first. He doesna put his boots on my blankets.” I just fucking love her so much, y’all.

Does Murtagh know who Marsali is yet though? Does he know about Jamie marrying Laoghaire? Were we robbed of the glorious Murtz reaction we could have had? Le sigh. If I had a drink, I’d pour one out...

Oh hey, Gerald. Is your name going to stay Gerald? Or are you randomly going to start being Neil in a couple seasons?

“Have you been enjoying your time at River Run?” “Yes, I love River Run. I love living with a bunch of racists, benefiting from the enslavement of Black people. I never once bring up how uncomfortable I am, or even look like I’m uncomfortable about the situation. I am not at all morally conflicted about my current situation. Everything is totally cool.”

I raged a lot during ep. 4x02, and honestly that rage all still stands.

Oh hey! John Grey, Lord of Convenient Appearances is back!

Fergus talking to Germain is my everything. “It seems there are some here who do not appreciate your contribution to the cause.” *swoon* I can’t wait for him to teach his lil dude the fine art of pickpocketing...

I LOVE THE FERGUS AND MURTAGH RELATIONSHIP A LOT AND I’M VERY GLAD THEY’RE GETTING SCREEN TIME TOGETHER.

BASICALLY I LOVE MURTAGH’S RELATIONSHIP WITH EVERYONE.

I JUST LOVE MURGSALI OK.

Bree’s like that obnoxious college freshman who comes home on break and is like all insufferable because they took like one intro to psych class and now want to like diagnose everyone they know with random shit.

“Must I close my eyes when you are before me?” “Yes.” Well played, Bree, but I still do not like you at all in this episode.

Man, 18th century tinder fucking sucks.

I know this show isn’t subtle at all, but jfc, they’re like punching us in the face with the judge being gay. 

Bree, Claire and Betty fucking Draper should start a club for women who drink like fish while preggo.

Ok so I’m on board with the convo with LJG and Bree about his vision or whatever, but then it crosses over into creepy later on in the episode.

Can Lizzie please fuck off already? She’s annoying af.

Also, she blurts out that Bree’s pregnant but managed to keep it a secret that Jamie kicked the shit out of a guy for weeks? I’m calling shenanigans on that.

I get that the convo with John and Bree about Jocasta trying to marry off Bree to some rando is supposed to like be clearing up the handfasting is marriage vs. not marriage thing that the show can’t make up its mind about, but it still bugs me, tbh. A lot.

I still am lowkey annoyed that they expect us to be so invested in Roger and Bree when they did like nothing to build up their relationship before it went to shit (both times). Like, you’re lazy when it comes to your characters, show. You’re doing a bad job. If no one is invested in the characters then all the plot in the world won’t make the show good.

The amount this show relies on book readers backfilling shit is absurd.

Jocasta, as a woman and figure in society, is a far more understandable giver of this speech about Bree needing to be married than Jamie, a dude who can have her live with him in his and Claire’s house in fucking bumblenowhere backwoods. But still, WHY DON’T THESE FUCKERS JUST TREAT HER LIKE SHE’S MARRIED. SHE TECHNICALLY IS. SHE’S HANDFAST. WHO GIVES A FUCK IF THERE WEREN’T WITNESSES. NO ONE IN CROSS CREEK KNOWS THAT. PEOPLE WILL JUST ACCEPT WHAT YOU TELL THEM. I HATE THAT ALL THESE FUCKERS WON’T PUT THAT TOGETHER.

Ok, cool that Lord John is getting some action, I’m am 10000% here for him to be happy with a man who actually wants him back instead of creepily pining over Jamie forever. But FFS YOU ARE NOT STUPID. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU BANGING THIS DUDE IN THE GODDAMN HALLWAY?! YOU ARE A VERY CAREFUL PERSON. YOU KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF PEOPLE KNOW YOU’RE GAY. YOU FUCKING GOT SHIPPED OFF TO ARDSMUIR BECAUSE OF RUMORS ABOUT YOU AND HECTOR. YOU ARE SMARTER THAN THIS YOU STUPID FUCKING FUCK.

All that aside, I totally ship John and the judge and they should totally be boyfriends and bang a lot, but FUCKING NOT IN THE GODDAMN HALLWAY OF SOMEONE ELSE’S HOUSE WHEN THEY KNOW THEY LIVE IN A HOMOPHOBIC AF SOCIETY.

Ok, fuck Brianna for this blackmail bullshit. Fuck her so fucking much. She is the literal worst right now. Like are you fucking kidding me, Bree?! You’re garbage. I know this shit is in the book, but fucking christ. It’s bad. Fucking have Bree talk to John like “Look, my aunt is trying to marry me off. That fucking hobbit is going to propose as soon as I go back inside. I don’t want to marry him, you know I’m waiting to see if my parents can find my quasi-husband. Can you please do me a solid and say we’re engaged so people leave me the fuck alone until my parents get back?” We *know* John would say yes to that, because he eventually fucking goes along with it for THAT EXACT FUCKING REASON. SO WHY ARE THEY HAVING FROM-THE-POST-STONEWALL-FUTURE BREE THREATEN A GUY WITH THIS SHIT. SHE KNOWS HOW QUEER FOLKS ARE TREATED IN HER OWN FUCKING TIME, AND THIS IS THE PAST AND THE PAST IS THE FUCKING WORST. FUUUUUUCK HER.

“That sounds like a threat.” BREE, YOU DON’T GET TO BE BUTTHURT ABOUT BEING THREATENED WHEN YOU LITERALLY JUST TOLD A GUY YOU WERE GOING TO RUIN HIS LIFE, YOU ABSOLUTE ASSHOLE.

“I wouldn’t have said a word to anyone. I’d just threaten you with your worst fear. Because I’m a raging asshat.”

It’s creepy af that they’re like talking around John being in love with Jamie. I honestly hate that part of John so fucking much. Like he could be such a great character if they could fucking lay off the him pining over and being weirdly possessive of Jamie shit.

Ok, so with Bree now just telling everyone that it was Bonnet who raped her it’s really coming off that Jamie’s manpain was the *only* reason she didn’t tell anyone but Claire before. Which is so fucked up! She was raped! Fuck Jamie’s manpain! If she wants to tell people, she should fucking tell people! Sorry not sorry, but if you were brutally raped and possibly impregnated by some fucker and you want to let people know who it was because it turns out he’s a fucking sociopath, that fucking trumps “oh, my bio dad might feel icky about it.”

“The union of our families is a blessing to us all. Except for the second someone better comes along. Because omg he’s a *lord*! Bye, Neil. Go have yourself some second breakfast.”

Oh fuck you, Jamie. You don’t get to be butthurt at Claire. Claire didn’t beat the everloving fuck out of some rando at the word of a maid, send him into slavery and then keep it a fucking secret. Also like, why the fuck did he even keep it a secret from Claire?! Why not do what Bree did and tell Claire but have her not tell Bree? And he’s still keeping him asking Murtagh to track Bonnet down from Claire. Seriously, fuck Jamie.

Oh Rollo, this isn’t Terminus. We don’t eat people in this show.

I literalol’ed at them pulling an Everest and using a dead body as a wayfinding tool. Probs not the reaction they were going for.

“He is... very much like his father.” DON’T MAKE IT WEIRD, JOHN.

"Good doesn’t come into it. I love him more than life itself.” I love the convo about loving a kid even if you’re not the bio dad, but this “It’s only new because there is hope.” bullshit while they’re sitting on the FUCKING PORCH OF A PLANTATION, LOOKING OUT AT ENSLAVED PEOPLE WHILE THE REST OF THE FAM IS OFF LOOKING FOR THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE LIVED ON THE LAND FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS, IS SO FUCKING TONE DEAF IT HURTS.

“I was upset, but not with you.” Uh, Claire? YOU SHOULD BE UPSET WITH JAMIE. WHAT THE FUCK. YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY BE UPSET WITH JAMIE.

I get Claire’s reasons for not telling Jamie. I think Bree should have told Claire to tell Jamie since it seems like her only hesitation for doing so was Jamie’s #feelings. And I 100000000% think that it makes *zero* sense that she never told Jamie what Roger looks like. But Claire is doing way fucking more than her share of apologizing here. JAMIE IS THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE DOING THE BIG DRAMATIC APOLOGY. THIS IS LIKE 99.7% HIS FUCKING FAULT.

I HATE ROGERGATE SO FUCKING MUCH.

“Frank made plenty of mistakes.” UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE FUCKING CENTURIES, BEAUCHAMP.

Aaaand then they couch it as an “all parents do” thing. BECAUSE OH NO, CAN’T ACKNOWLEDGE THAT HE WAS AN ABUSIVE JACKASS. NOPE. CAN’T DO THAT.

This show is fucking *killing* me with its refusal to make the male characters accountable for their actions. 

And then we get the same sex scene we got in the premiere. Because even though Jamie and Claire get freaky in oh-so-many different ways in the later books, the show has decided that from now on they need to be vanilla and boring. I mean, in the book this bit is described as fierce with blind desperation. I know I always say I want them to deviate from the book, but ffs, I didn’t mean make all the sex the same when the situations and emotional states of the characters when they’re together are very different...

And no, Balfe, I’m not a “horny granny.” (Seriously, fuck her for that comment, tbh. I know what she was probably trying to say, but word choice, Caitriona. It’s fucking important.) I’m not watching this show for the smut. But the core relationship, what’s supposed to be the heart of the show, is now monotonous af. 

Jamie and Claire as characters have always been a couple who express themselves passionately and physically. But now suddenly they’re just like soft af all the time? Where’s the fire? Where’s the spark? You don’t need to have nudity to show passion, show. I’m not asking for a parade of boobs and butts. (If there was contractual stuff involved with that for actors or whatever, more power to them.) But ffs, the show is managing to make me bored with the main fucking ship.

And then Roger gets the shit kicked out of him again and I’m here for it.

Because I still don’t like that guy.

(But seriously, framing the various Native American tribes as the “bad guys” is getting old af.)

[cromulentbookreview]

Ambergris!

Amberlough, Armistice, Amnesty...Ambergris? That could be a potential title for a 4th book, right? I mean, Ambergris is basically whale poo that makes perfume, but hey, it’d be a cool title. It’s also the basis of an awesome Bob’s Burgers episode.

I couldn’t find a gif from the actual episode, so...I picked this one.

And by all of that, I mean: Amnesty, book three of the Amberlough Dossier by Lara Elena Donnelly!

Hoo boy. 

So there are two things I really, really love in a story: old timey spycraft (there’s a reason why one of my favorite ever TV series is TURN: Washington’s Spies. You don’t get more crafty than 18th century spycrafting!) and Art Deco. I love Art Deco. I love the style that emerged in the 1920s and 30s - when fashion, especially for women, took a massive heel-face-turn, when electricity was only just becoming mainstream, cars were phasing out horse-drawn transport, radio was becoming a thing and everybody smoked like chimneys and drank like fish, and figured it probably wasn’t bad for you. Seriously, you go from the 1910s, where women’s skirts were floor-length and heaven forbid someone see your ankles, to dresses with hemlines above the knee. We’re talking knee-exposure, people! That is a DEFCON-1 sartorial situation, people! Edwardian matrons are having heart attacks at the sight of their granddaughters’ knees. The 20s and 30s it seems combine the sort of fun, old-timey lawlessness of Ye Olden Days with just a enough modernity so things are fun. I mean, come on, it’s like Boardwalk Empire or The Untouchables, or Jeeves and Wooster or Caberet. Or the planet Sigma Iotia II from the Star Trek episode A Piece of the Action. 

OK, so my love of the 20s and 30s and old timey spycraft has been well-established, right? Yeah, those are both things I very much enjoy. I love John Le Carre’s George Smiley books because that’s back when spying involved handwritten notes taped to the backs of benches and dead-drops in train station lockers. I’m sure modern spycraft still uses some of these old-school methods - you can’t hack a piece of paper, after all - but old timey spycraft just sounds, I dunno, more fun than modern spycraft. At least, it’s more fun for me to read about.

Anyway! This brings me around to Lara Elena Donnelly’s Amberlough Dossier series.

The Amberlough Dossier is technically a fantasy series because it takes place in a world that doesn’t exist. Though that world seems extremely familiar - it’s basically Sigma Iotia II from A Piece of the Action, or Berlin of Christopher Isherwood’s 1930s - a world of decadence, caberet, free-flowing booze and cigarettes...that is slowly rotting from the inside out. 1930s Germany is a fascinating place - and by “fascinating” I mean “pants-pissing-levels of terrifying.” As someone who spent many, many, many, some would say “too many” years spent learning German, a language I almost never, ever use in my daily life (like, ever), I also spent a lot of time learning about German history. The way the rise of the Nazis also saw the rise of the Kabarett. Anyway, Amberlough City is very much like a mix of New York, London, and Berlin of the 30s. You’ve got all the fun of the 30s, mixed with the rise of a Fascist party called the One State Party, or OSP, frequently referred to as “Ospies.”

Now, if you haven’t read Amberlough and Armistice, you should. You really should. In fact, why don’t you do that. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Did you read them? Aren’t they fantastic? OK. So, on to the grand finale: Amnesty!

Just as Armistice begins with a three-year time jump after the events of Amberlough, Amnesty does the same, only this time, it’s five years after the events of Armistice, eight years after everything that went down during Amberlough. I’m not always a fan of time jumps - more often than not they make me angry, because I want to know absolutely everything that happens all the time always. Only, in the case of Amnesty, as with Armistice, I got over it pretty quick. Donnelly knows how to smooth over a time jump, filling us in with the events that happened in-between, and it does make sense that, for the most part, most major events of interest don’t always take place in perfect, chronological order. Anyway, we’re at five years after Armistice - Aristide and Daoud failed in their efforts to find Cyril in the Lisoan jungle, and they ended up setting up their own half-legit import/export business instead. Things are going pretty well - then Aristide gets a phone call from Prince Asiyah. They’ve found Cyril. Gasp!!

Meanwhile, in Amberlough, the Ospies have fallen. The revolution is over. If you were hoping for a whole book dedicated to guerilla warfare between Spotlight and the Ospies, well...sorry, you’ll be disappointed. Instead, we skip immediately to the interim government, trying to rebuild Amberlough from scratch. Lillian DePaul, with her husband Jinadh Addas and their son Stephen, now 13, have relocated back to the DePaul family home in Amberlough. The houses (a country estate and a town house) didn’t fare too well during Ospie rule, nor did the DePaul family’s assets. Plus, there’s also Cyril’s reputation is traitor to the nation to deal with. So Lillian, practically broke, has to contend with two crumbling houses that she can’t afford to staff properly, a husband who is not 100% happy with life in Amberlough, and a 13-year-old boy who acts like, well, a 13-year-old boy. Namely: moody, pissy and generally insufferable.

Then she gets a call out of nowhere from her old kind-of-sort-of-friend, Aristide Makricosta, with the news that her brother Cyril is still alive, and heading back to come stay with her. Yay?

Poor Cyril. Things were not great for him during the 8 years between the end of Amberlough and the start of Amnesty. He’d spent most of that time running dangerous ops for the Lisoan government in the jungle, with little regard for his own life. So when he finally emerges back to civilization he’s...well, different. There’s definitely a strong combination of PTSD and extreme guilt there. Plus a bit of survivalist kleptomania (hey, if you don’t know when you’re going to eat next, you’d squirrel away bits of food, too). Cyril is basically a man with a death wish, not giving a fuck about much of anything, preferring instead to retreat behind the mask of his work identities. Now he’s back - reunited with his old lover, Aristide, and his sister, Lillian. Plus, he gets to finally meet his nephew, Stephen.

But Cyril’s return to Amberlough isn’t exactly the best idea: once word gets out that he’s back, one of the politicians running for president of the new Amberlough decides to use Cyril as a political platform, namely that he should be arrested and put to death for treason. Cyril is like “sure, OK,” to that, but Lillian and Aristide? Yeah, they definitely don’t like that idea, and now they have to scramble to save not just Cyril, but themselves as well.

OK, so I fricking love this series. I tore through Amberlough and Armistice in just a couple of days, and I’m a slow reader, so that’s saying something. Amnesty is a completely satisfying end to the series, though I will still want more details about Cyril’s SuperHappyFun Jungle Adventures, or Aristide’s adventures in Porachis Bollywood or Coredlia’s rise as the leader of the resistance. Having those time gaps between books means we get to imagine all the adventures that happened in between. Which means: fanfiction! Woo! Or possible future short stories of novellas. (Cough cough hint hint Ms. Donnelly). If you’re not fond of big time gaps, then you might find this series frustrating, but still, Amnesty is an absolutely satisfying conclusion to the series.

My biggest complaint is, however, most definitely a spoiler, so I will be as vague as possible: one of the characters is killed off between Armistice and Amnesty. At first, I was pissed - it’s like when a character is killed off between seasons of a TV show because the actor got fired or left for a different job. You’re like, “noooo!” but, going directly from Armistice to Amnesty, the death of this particular character does make sense, and it’s not like their death is dismissed with a hand wave. It’s a huge part of the story. I’d already forgiven the off-screen death by the time I’d gotten halfway through the book. So if you’re tempted to throw the book across the room when you learn that [character] died between books, don’t. Keep going. You’d be cheating yourself otherwise.

My second biggest complaint is that we never get a map that includes the exact locations of Liso and Porachis. I want to know where everything is, damn it!

In all, you need to read this series. If you want a fantastic LGBTQ romance, a story that spans nearly a decade, old-timey Le Carre-level spycraft, political infighting, scheming, and a 1930s-esque world, then you need to read the entire Amberlough Dossier. Go on. You know you want to.

RECOMMENDED FOR: Fans of worlds inspired by the 20s and 30s, John Le Carre fans, anyone in need for a LGBTQ romance with spycraft elements.

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR: Anybody not interested in reading about the minutiae of politics of a world that doesn’t exist. I love that sort of thing but it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.

OVERALL SERIES RATING: 5/5

AMNESTY RATING: 4.5/5

AMNESTY RELEASE DATE: April 16, 2019

ANTICIPATION LEVEL FOR ANOTHER BOOK / NOVELLA / SHORT STORY / ANYTHING: Olympus Mons

[wazowskiofthemikevariety]

BDRP Wrimo Day 9: Petition Town Board for something!

Petitioner: Michael Wazowski Other Signers: aha Petition: 

Dear Members of the Swynlake Town Board,

This petition will be addressing the problem of the lack of film texts availability within the town of Swynlake. I would like to bring attention to the fact that, yes, Mr. Wiggins does own and run a wonderful store that provides the public with plenty of movies and content which I myself have been to in my short time in town and will proceed to visit in the future. I am also aware that a movie theater that plays the more recently released movies is just a train ride over. And, to further address the possible counters to my proposal, I am also aware that streaming services, both legal and illegal alike, are going to reign supreme as people these days have no desire to get out of their homes to spend money on films that they can easily obtain from other services. 

So, now that I’ve seemingly shot myself in the foot before I’ve even begun, let’s get started! 

From what I’ve seen so far, the town of Swynlake thrives off of the tight knit community that has been accumulated among the residents. It’s been a privilege to see how everyone in town interacts with one another and witnessing all the things everyone does to strengthen the bond between the residents. 

Movies, as a whole, have done the same thing for people all over the world. They have the ability to bring two people living across the world together to discuss, to share with one another, and to become traditions among communities or individuals. 

Due to Swynlake’s community already being so close I believe they could only benefit. 

What I propose to the Board is, depending on the Board members preferences, either weekly, every two weeks, or even monthly, screenings of movies for the town to come watch as a community. The films shown can be either chosen by the Board, or the Board can provide the residents of Swynlake with several to chose from. It can be held just about anywhere with a large surface area as projectors are readily available. I’ve provided some examples, but as someone who has only been here for a couple of months I’m sure those of you who have lived here longer may have a better idea. 

Pride University’s Court Yard, the wall to the right is flat enough and the courtyard is large enough to hold a large seating area

Main Street Park, with the tea shoppe’s wall adjacent to the park. I talked to the owner and he seemed more than happy to allow the wall to be used for such an occasion.

The Vacant building, located on Royal Street between the apartment building and Pride University. 

Alternatively, should the local theater be willing to donate a screen to be put up this could potentially take place anywhere around the town where enough space is, like next to the lake or in the town square.

Some examples of events much like this one, that have succeeded, include, but not limited to: 

Portland, Oregon's Flicks on Bricks,Pioneer Courthouse Square. Here the citizens get to vote on the movie that gets shown. More than 7,000 people show up to watch the showings. 

Miami Beach’s SoundScape Cinema Series in Florida. Sometimes they partner with  the New World Symphony to play the music of the movie live.(Which I’m not saying we as a town should hire a live orchestra but it could be something that the secondary or university music programs could use as a performance should they want to participate in something like that. It could provide them with a unique opportunity during the year, or even in the summer, to play along side a movie, even if it’s a silent film!)

The Rooftop Cinema Club hosts screenings in both Los Angeles and Hollywood on, hey you guessed it!, roof tops. 

Sneaky Experience at Cannon Hall Leeds’ host a sort of hodge podge of an event with both live action theater and cinema where the audience can sing and dance along. Their motto is, “Don’t just watch it, be part of it.”

In London, Film4 screens onto the courtyard of the 18th century Somerset House to host a very large screening of movies that bring their community together, even if they are a large urban city. 

As a community Swynlake has shown to be very close. I am only suggesting another way for us to come together to enjoy the movies together. 

Thank you for you time! 

Michael Wazowski 

Budget: 

Only the allotted movie needed to go towards the movie being screened (should it not be owned or on a streaming service already, or donated by someone,) which varies from movie to movie. 

A projector, should someone not own one or it isn’t donated: Depending on how much you’re willing to spend the price ranges on projectors can run from 600 to 2,000 for one that will project a picture large enough for a larger audience. 

A screen, should someone not own one or it isn’t donated or you do not wish to use a surface already there: Depending on how much you’re willing to spend the price ranges on screens can run from 5 (which is a thin fabric that can be placed over a wall to cover the texture of brick or clay) to 2,000.

Speakers, should someone not own one or it isn’t donated: Depending on how much you’re willing to spend the price ranges on speakers for a large area(if not included with screen purchase) can run from 200 to 4,000. 

Should you want to give refreshments, like popcorn or punch, that would vary according to what you wish to serve. As an option you can also charge for food and drink.

The venue. Depending on where you’re thinking it should be held it can either be free or as much as the venue owner is willing to charge. 

Reminder: All of this could be paid back to you with a surplus should you wish to charge an entry fee and/or charge for food and drinks.