#prediagnosis

[shiningstarr15]

Seeing all these concept ideas and headcanons of Vanessa going around on my timeline is making me realize just how truly different my version of her really is… 😅💀😬

[stupiidgood]

When did physical, on paper tests become not an option? Why does my success or failure rely on whether a computer thinks I’m “in frame” enough? Why shouldnt I havethought that turning shit off and back on again would work? Why is it on me if theres no option to redo the thing i accidentally undid?

Why should I have a meltdown because of this?

[jetsi]

What they don't tell you when you get diagnosed with diabetes is that you're gonna be eating so much sugar

[amordei-k]

when I was like 12 I had a really bad episode (prediagnosis) and it got to a point where I couldn't get out of bed or talk until one day I started hearing and seeing sonic characters telling me to get up and do stuff so I did. i broke a cycle because I didnt want to disappoint shadow the hedgehog

[turtl3sk3tch3s]

Now, I'm sure everyone here has had a prediagnosis bad autistic experience. But now we need something fresh, something new. Someone doe-eyed, bushy-tailed, all in an easy-to-carry 5" package.

Hello, Turtle. You're here because you had a prediagnosis bad autistic experience?

Yeah.

Well, tell us about it.

My grandma was never all that accepting. Especially of my headphones. She told me I looked silly and stupid in them.

Everyone, jeer at the grandmother.

Well, Turtle, we're kinda racking up the reading time here so just get down to the story.

That wasn't a good day. It started out good; I rewatched Hamilton. Then my grandma came downstairs and asked if I wanted to go to Home Depot with her. I said, 'No'. She said things like, "Too bad." "I don't care." and "You're going anyway." I went against my will, and we walked there. If we had driven, it would have been more tolerable. I got tired and was on the brink of a metal down. I sat down against a wall; she came and took my headphones off. She said, "Get up." And I just started screaming and crying. She slapped me, telling me to get up and start walking. She stopped for a second and said, "Do you want more?" I obviously shook my head. She kept hitting me and saying, "Get up." To which I yelled "No." and shook my head. A person from, I think, the bus stop came over and told her to stop; she said, "That's my granddaughter," and the person had threatened to call the police, and I think they did. We got back to the house, and she said, "If you ever do that again, you wish the police would save you."

Well, sounds like you went through quite an ordeal. Do you have anyone you trust in your family?

My dad. He gave me the headphones. I think it's ADHD/Autism solidarity.

That's nice. But, it seems we are out of time. Join us next time on Prediagnosis Bad Autistic Experience.

[aprilsdarkstars]

i wish everything would go back to the way it used to be. i wish my body hadn’t changed and I wasn’t hit with a crippling dysphoria and dysmorphia every time I look in the mirror and that my fucking joints would just work. I wish I could go back prediagnosis, pre coming out and everything could be quiet and I would be perfect again

[underwhelmedandoverstimulated]

Ok, I wanted to add my own story. (Blah blah blah, burnout gifted program kid before college, never had to study a day in my life, but never did any homework, usual story.) At 18, I found myself expelled from school, it was only then that I got diagnosed. So I get on Adderall, get my GED, and go to community college.

It was difficult, I lost all of my prediagnosis coping mechanisms, started being bad at my usual good subjects(math), was suddenly good at subjects that had previously been impervious (history). In total, I think I spent like 6 years getting the equivalent of 3/4 of my needed credits, but I was (other than math) managing.

Then, the abusive relationship I was in at the time got worse. I pretty much had a breakdown, didn't even technically drop out, I just stopped going.

I'm 36 now; in the last year, parts of my brain that have been asleep for decades are starting to wake up, I'm about to take my certification to become an optician, I'm getting back into engineering for fun, and math makes sense again.

Sometimes, the journey takes us places we do not want to go, but as long as you don't give up, there is always a chance.

All these ADHD success stories have me in tears because that could have been me, and sometimes it was me, but I still couldn't make it. Three years of attempting the same two semesters, countless meetings with counselors and support services and professors, med dosage increases, mental breakdowns, love and support from a classmate who unofficially adopted me (who I haven't spoken to since I dropped out)... Nothing to show for it but burnout and trauma.

Can it ever get better from here? I feel hopeless.

I'm so sorry. I'm not sure people realise just how fractured your self-esteem becomes when you fail out of an academic course; it properly haunts you, and for a long time afterwards.

I failed my first degree thanks to my own undiagnosed ADHD. I have a very typical story among our people - female, high-achieving in high school, fell apart in university. It was my second year where everything suddenly went wrong. I did not turn in a single assignment on time. I physically, mechanically, could not get myself to write them until the night before the final two-weeks-late deadline, when I'd have to pull an all-nighter and hate life and myself and eventually hand it in in the morning and then sleep for the rest of the day. My attendance was utterly appalling, particularly for a 9am lecture; trying to get up at 8 was a task roughly equivalent to trying to walk on water. I had to resit the exams I'd failed every summer. A particular low point was missing an exam because I didn't realise I even had it; I'd attended so few lectures that I hadn't heard the lecturer say it existed. I remember lying in bed at night and crying, full on sobbing, because I knew something was wrong with me but I didn't know what had happened. I'd always been so good at this, always had such good grades; it was part of my identity, both for myself and how others saw me.

And like. What else can you blame that on? What other explanation is there, other than 'laziness'?

I did better in my third year; I was determined to attend, and get assignments done. I was better; though still a long way from perfect. But so much damage had been done by then. I had better marks, but there was one single module whose assignment I passed but whose exam I failed; I just needed to resit the exam.

And I simply couldn't bring myself to do it. There was too much shame, too much guilt. I honestly couldn't fathom what the point of even trying was. I was so burnt out and broken by then. And then I had to pick up the pieces afterwards and return to life, surrounded by friends who had made it, with nothing of my own to show.

It was a few years later that I decided to go back to uni and try again. By then, I was doing it for a different reason - I wanted to prove to myself and the world that I could do it, I think. I was a bit older and a bit wiser by then; enough that I chose to be very honest with myself at every step, and could start putting systems in place to succeed. This time, it was a small class, so the lecturers all knew me by name rather than letting me fade into the background; I studied part-time to avoid overwhelm; I altered my own deadlines to be a week early, and I forced myself to write to them.

I think a crucial part was also changing how I viewed the degree, and my attitude to higher ed. Before, I did uni because "That's what you do after school". I saw it as a bigger high school with different teachers, like I HAD to be there and was doing assignments and attending because I HAD to, not because I fundamentally wanted to do the course for its own sake. The second time, I did it properly - I wanted a degree. I wanted a degree in that specific topic. I wanted to improve academically. I read the feedback this time, and applied it to each following assignment.

And, I got into the habit of going into the university computer room every day for a few hours so I could work on my assignments. Other course mates started joining me; one in particular, Chris, who later also got diagnosed with ADHD. I now know we were body doubling, but at the time, we both just saw it as getting into a good habit and working on assignments in a nicer environment.

I finished that degree with a first. Since then, I did a PG Cert with Oxford University, and a post-grad PCET, both of which required the same study-based skillset. Oxford in particular was hard, because the nature of the course was a distance learning one, and that is Very Bad for my ADHD; my brain requires routine and structure and accountability to work. That one gave me mild burnout, actually. But, my point is this:

It absolutely can get better. What that looks like is going to be different for everyone, because you need to be very honest with yourself about what works for you and what doesn't, and then choose a course accordingly; there are also specific types of support that you may need, which may or may not be available.

But you really, really can do it if you can get the right set-up and accommodations.

However, I would be wrong not to add this:

We connect university with intelligence, culturally, and we shouldn't. University is about depth of learning on a particular subject, done within and according to a particular system. Intelligence helps, but other skills are also needed to be able to complete a university degree; and that's not for everyone. You could be more than intelligent enough for it, and it still may be the wrong fit for you. That doesn't mean you're stupid or broken or useless - it just means this isn't the system for you. And there's no shame whatsoever in that.

That may or may not be true of you! We don't know each other, you could be in either bracket. But either way: you are not stupid, or useless, or broken. The system is simply not set up for your personal brain chemistry, any more than a tree-climbing test is set up for a fish. Hopefully any of this ramble is helpful!

[dawn-petrich0r]

Found this is my notes.

May 20th 2020.

Do you know what it’s like to cry yourself to sleep every single night? To fake a smile every single day and pretend like everything is fine when you’re absolutely broken inside?

Do you know what it’s like to love someone so much and have them walk away so easily? Or to risk everything to make someone feel supported only to be left alone in your darkest hour?

Do you know what it’s like to be treated as if you are a dirty little secret that the world can’t know about? To constantly feel ashamed to even exist because you know people around you are embarrassed by you?

Do you know what it’s like to know that people are only reaching out to you because they feel complete pity for you and not because they care at all?

Do you know what it’s like to feel as if you don’t matter to anyone at all? To live your life everyday knowing that if you no longer existed absolutely nobody would be inconvenienced at all?

Do you know what it’s like to live your life knowing you are replaceable? Knowing that you don’t matter even when people claim you do.

Do you know what it’s like to have severe trust issues only to be hurt once again after finally trusting someone after years of not being able to trust people?

Do you know what it’s like to try and imagine a future and see nothing but a black void? To remember that your teenage self wasn’t expecting to live past 20 and now you’re actively winging it every single day knowing you’re not going to live into your 30s?

Do you know the lack of motivation you have to do anything when you’ve been planning your suicide for years and you’ve finally hit that breaking point?

Do you know what it’s like to have the one person you trusted, and loved the most completely shut you out and give no timeline whatsoever as to when, IF, you’ll ever talk again?

Do you know what it’s like to dread waking up each day because it’s just another day you have to struggle to get through?

Do you know what it’s like to be told lie after lie after lie? To be told so many broken promises?

Do you know what it’s like to just want to fucking die because your life has no meaning anyway?

Because I do.

[lifeinpoetry]

anything can be a drug if you love it.

sam sax, from “Prediagnosis,” published in The New York Times Magazine

[mortalpractice]

when i was born i felt nothing but life ripping open before me, the doctor’s white face & coat, everyone seemed happy i was alive. but life was ripping open before me led to me ripped open before life. everyone seemed happy. i was alive but only for a short time. me ripped open. before life i was dependent on milk & men but only for a short time. anything can be a drug if you love it. dependent on milk & men my overdose a slow child inside me anyone can be a drug if you love him all i needed was time. ---sam sax, from “prediagnosis,” madness

[embarrassedcelery]

2 Hour Party Girl

I am pushing 40, awaiting an Autism diagnosis, and sat here in my pyjamas on a weekday.  

I am out of work again, probably through choice, definitely through fear.  I haven't worked since March of last year, having felt literally exhausted since then.  I have had a couple of job interviews, but thanks to my lack of eye contact and practicality in answers to questions, I haven't got the roles.  I guess I was kind of relieved however, as maintaining a constant mask of normality all day, every day, is quite frankly terrifying.  I would need to sleep for a week after working one day, let alone going back every day and doing it again.

So, am I just on the scrapheap now?  Can I just not work, destined to be a dole-bludger for the rest of my days?  The Daily Mail would love me.  The ultimate layabout, not 100% British, claiming sick benefits but still managing to go out on the piss at weekends.  I am an embarrassment to society, a scumbag, a lazy fool who just hides behind some kind of illness in order to do absolutely nothing with her life.

It would be great if this were the case.  Well, actually it wouldn't, as I hope I would still have some sort of drive and ability to get myself out of this mess.  I don't think I could ever be happy sat doing nothing.  And as for the benefits side of things, I am currently receiving £73 per week, and I have to decide whether to eat or pay bills.  Or go out on the piss of course, if the Daily Mail were to be believed.

The thing is, I do actually go out and have drinks.  Quite often too.  This totally contradicts myself, well it contradicts the person I am right this second.  The quiet, shy person, sat indoors in mismatched PJs, make-up free and toes in front of the fire.  But alcohol, you see, is the ultimate mask.  Not that I would ever encourage anyone to drink alcohol, or to try and mask any issues they have with that or any substance.  However, for me, all it takes is one glass of wine and I am the same as anybody else in that pub.  Everyone is silly, inappropriate, loud, animated, self-indulgent, happy and daft, so for once, when a little drunk, I do not stand out if I behave in any of those ways.  It's utterly refreshing, and I'm not just talking about the wine!

I can get up and sing karaoke, talk to random people, accept compliments, give compliments, make eye contact, keep eye contact, not even think about bastard eye contact in the first place.  I come across as a normal person, albeit a rather drunk one, but I am in a pub, that is perfectly normal in a pub on a Friday night isn't it?  It's brilliant, and that makes me live for the weekends.  Nobody else seems to understand this, and think that I am just a saddo that stays in doing nothing, counting down the days until the weekend.  They would be entirely correct.  

I could become a raging alcoholic and go out every night, but that wouldn't be right either.  Weekday drinking feels wrong to me, unless it's a special occasion such as a friends birthday.  There is just something magical about a Friday or Saturday night, and having any old reason to use as an excuse to party makes it all the better.  I have actually had parties for my cats birthday, Summer-themed get togethers just because it is Winter, new job parties, sacked from job parties, kitchen parties, bedroom parties (nothing crude, may I add, the living room was just too messy).  I just love any kind of party.  But as long as I am in control, especially lately.  Nowadays, if having gatherings at mine, it is only a select few close friends.  They understand that my house is not perfectly tidy, and that sometimes I can cut the night short without a moment's notice if I feel too overwhelmed.  The same goes with going out, I know that if I start feeling like hell, I can get the hell out of there and back to my sanctuary.

But yes, I do recognise that this is not a healthy lifestyle.  My intelligent brain is rotting away with each moment that I sit here, struck with some kind of agoraphobia at any mention of having to go out to do normal things.  I had to meet my family for lunch the other day and threw up twice beforehand, for example.  I am fully aware that I am wasting my life, I could/should be doing more, that I am ruining all of the most glorious years of my life that I will never get back, etc etc.  These things are said to me often, and this is what makes it all the more crushing.  I want to change so badly, but I really don't know how.  Will having an Autism diagnosis actually even help?  I guess it would give me the actual card so to speak, it would finally answer all of my questions and explain my lifelong behaviours, but then how would I proceed?

It was a conversation with my partner that made me realise that I can't just sit around waiting for this damned diagnosis, I have to understand myself right now and work out how I can achieve the thing I want, around my condition, and not letting it determine me.  I know he was trying to be helpful and constructive, but naturally at first we had a blazing row about him not understanding me.  He doesn't, and probably never will, but he is right.  This diagnosis is going to take over a year in total, at least, as my local M.H services are typically exhausted and underfunded, so I can't just hang around watching David Dickinson in my slippers, waiting for some kind of life changing miracle to happen, can I?

So what is the next step for me?  I don't actually have a clue.  Everything is overwhelming, like a giant unsorted pile of wires.  I know I can sort them, and they can be sorted, but just looking at them, all mixed up and intertwined, makes me shudder.  

Where do I start?  

[sharpmouth]

“Prediagnosis” by Sam Sax, from Madness

[lilworms]

i think i blacked out for this entire relationship

i initiated one of the only healthy relationships ive had by sending him this

[pocji]

My aunt is a butch lesbian and she was my 100% role model as a child and she still is. She has worked all over the world in so many jobs from a nursery teacher in Finland to a paramedic in london to a set designer in Hollywood to a dog walker to name a few she has a very rich wife and just stays at home volunteering now. when I was a teenager prediagnosis she used to let me go stay at her house and just spend a week in bed and walking dogs. she’s a good listener and she’s patient and calm and she just makes anyone around her feel relaxed she’s so important to meee. So when I see photosets of butches who look like her w short hair in men’s jeans I get all emotional…

[mimzy-writing-online]

Dear Mimzy, I can't begin to tell you how happy I was to find your advice on how to write a blind or visually impaired person respectfully. Thank you so much for doing that. It was very helpful. I'm currently writing a book and I'm about to start the editing phase. I'm writing you to ask if you would consider being a beta reader of mine? I'll pay you, of course. You can write me on Instagram: mettepeleikis if you're interested. Once again thank you for your helpful blog. - Mette

PART 1/2: Mette again. Even if you're not interested in beta reading my book, I do have some questions that I haven't found the answers to on your blog. I hope you can help me by giving me your opinion on these two things. 1. The love interest of my MC loses his sight from a head trauma accident (I did read you advice against that but it's unfortunately not something I can change now) but do you consider that "victimizing your blind character" like when you mentioned rape?

PART 2/2: Gosh, I'm sorry for spamming you. Here's my second question. I never wanted to cure my blind character, but I did have in mind that a surgery could partially restore a bit of it. Just enough for him to see a bit of color. Do you think that is as bad as curing them when partially restoring his sight? Thank you so much, Mimzy. Best, Mette

Mimzy answered: I’m so happy I could help your writing process! Hearing that I help makes every day much better, especially since this is part of what I’ll be focusing on in school.

I am considering taking a few beta-reading contracts in the winter between school semesters. I am going to put a note down with your Instagram contact.

As for your first question, I recently made a post going in-depth about writing whump and using blindness for plot purposes. It has far more depth and nuance to the subject than my initial post did in 2019, largely because that was (still is) a topic I struggle to talk about.

(The following paragraph is useful advice to all writers, not just Mette)

The concern about head trauma being the cause of blindness stems more from how rare it is compared to natural causes of blindness. Glaucoma, Macular Degeneration, Cataracts, and Diabetic Retinopathy are the most common causes of vision loss. The head trauma route is also a big sign that the writer took the lazy way out of researching the cause of the character’s blindness, which suggests to the reader that the character is more of a prop than a character. The best thing you can do to avoid this sentiment, avoid inaccuracy and insensitivity, is to deeply research the specific details of the injury and how that will affect your character’s vision.

I found an article for you with a wide variety of specific injury types that can follow a traumatic brain injury. It will be a good starting point in your individual research.

What Mette is describing doesn’t sound like victimizing, at least not as I would personally define it. Victimizing would be using the character’s trauma and blindness to teach the main character some kind of lesson, very much like the trend of violently killing off female characters to push the male protagonist’s storyline.

The message a plotline like that sends to a blind reader is that how our blindness affects our loved ones is more important than how it affects us, that we’re a burden to our loved ones, and that our feelings about vision loss don’t matter because we’re a plot device for our family’s story.

Or using the character’s blindness as a way to “set up” a plan to hurt the character. An example would be the character getting kidnapped and not realizing they were being stalked because of their blindness. A good exercise to test if you’re falling into this trap would be to ask yourself “if this character was a drunk teenage girl, would this look like victim blaming?” If the answer is yes, then you need to rethink that plotline.

The message this plotline sends is that being disabled makes you an easy victim to assault, that it’s only a matter of time before it happens, that it happens because you’re disabled and that it’s somehow your fault.

It’s also a reminder of a terrifying but very real statistic of how common it is for a disabled person to be a victim of a crime. I found a webpage discussing it if you’d like to further educate yourself.

So there’s a big difference between an author exploring the trauma around sudden vision loss, and an author turning that trauma into shallow dramatics for entertainment purposes. One has the chance to make you feel seen, and the other makes you feel objectified.

Ask yourself how your story compares to what I’ve described and if/how you can do better.

To answer your last question, I’m not 100% sure. Realistically, if offered a chance to surgically improve your vision when you were in the early stages of learning to adapt, you might very well jump at the chance. Some might, but there are plenty of reasons why you might decline the surgery. It’s very likely you might develop a phobia against medical care (iatrophobia) following a traumatic medical experience, and perhaps avoid doctors and medical procedures at all costs, even if it means potentially allowing conditions to get dangerously worse before seeking help. If your story is based in America, chances are that a procedure like that will be too costly, even with insurance. Double-check medical care costs in the country the story takes place in if you’re not sure. Hearing that the surgery might risk you losing more sight with very little promise of returning your vision, especially long term, would be a big motivation to decline. Resentment against how doctors and loved ones focused on wanting to “fix you” instead of helping you adjust might be a reason to decline. (It certainly was for me, especially when the proposed solution wouldn’t completely improve my vision. This was prediagnosis) Being far enough into your recovery due to a great support system and therapy might also be a reason to decline the surgery, stating that you’re happy with life as is.

Personally, I would hate to lose my color vision. Vibrant colors make me absurdly happy. However, if I did lose my color vision and a specific surgery was proposed to possibly restore it, it’s highly unlikely I would accept for almost all of the reasons stated above.

It’s a subject that will require more than one sensitivity reader, and possibly asking people within the blind community how they feel about that. A variety of responses will help you explore the nuances of the plotline.

I always recommend @blindbeta as a sensitivity reader because I love their work discussing different blind characters in media and their advice posts.

Thank you for the positive feedback, it made my night :)

(after post notes: dear god I hope this is coherent. This was written between the hours of 1 and 2 am. Yeah, this blog is called the Late Night Writing Advice Blog for a reason. Also (@ everyone, I shared some personal feelings tonight, please treat that with respect)

[uicscience]

Could there be a link between the enteric neurons, gut microbiome and ALS? 

Researchers at the University of Illinois Chicago are looking at the possibility that gastroenterological changes could be an early warning sign for Lou Gehrig’s disease. Their research in animal models also shows a promising treatment to slow the disease’s progression.

Jun Sun, professor of gastroenterology and hepatology in the University of Illinois College of Medicine, is the lead author of both a research paper and a research review that suggest a potential role of intestinal inflammation and microbiome in the development and/or the progression of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.  

ALS is a neuromuscular disease that causes the progressive death of motor neurons leading to muscle weakness and atrophy. The Ice Bucket Challenges of 2014 drew attention to the deadly disease, helped raise funding for research, and sparked Sun’s interest in researching ALS and potential links to GI symptoms. Additionally, Sun said she heard about U.S. military veterans who suffered from GI issues while they were serving overseas and later diagnosed with ALS. Several research studies have shown veterans have an elevated risk of developing ALS. Sun said there are still few answers as to why to those who served in the military are at a higher risk of ALS.

ALS patients and their families had written to Sun, indicating they noticed GI symptoms before their ALS diagnosis. After reviewing published research dating back to 1967, for the review paper, “A gut feeling in amyotrophic lateral sclerosis: microbiome of mice and men,” published in the journal Frontiers in Cellular and Infection Microbiology, Sun and her team found collective evidence of GI symptoms in ALS patients. However, there was no research on GI symptoms pre-ALS diagnosis. Because there are no clear guidelines on the early diagnosis for ALS, symptoms often get confused with other health problems, Sun said.

For their research study, “Aberrant enteric neuromuscular system and dysbiosis in amyotrophic lateral sclerosis,” published in the journal Gut Microbes, researchers in Sun’s lab studied the impact and mechanism of enteric neuron system, a mesh-like system of neurons governing the functions of the GI tract, and the microbiome in ALS mice, which carried the mutated superoxide dismutase 1 (SOD1) gene, one of the human genes that trigger familiar ALS.  

“The reason we look at the microbiome is because it is a window into an invisible part of our body that can do a lot of things, and not just locally — it may also do things beyond the local, which means it can affect the other organs,” Sun said.

Because there were challenges to study the GI symptoms and microbiome prediagnosis in patients, and limited opportunities to study the disease progression in patients with ALS, researchers used an ALS animal model.

The ALS mice were treated with butyrate or antibiotics to investigate the microbiome and neuromuscular functions.

“We treat them with a bacterial product sodium butyrate because some bacteria products that are beneficial and can suppress a lot of pathogens to simulate a protective role in the intestinal and microbial community,” Sun said.

Researchers examined intestinal mobility, microbiome, and ENS protein markers of the mice prior to the onset of ALS. They found the mice had significant alteration of the microbiome, decreased intestine mobility and physical stamina before the onset of ALS. For mice that were treated with butyrate, these decreases took significantly longer to appear, according to the study. The treated mice had enhanced enteric neuromuscular function and showed an altered bacterial community related to autoimmunity — changes that demonstrate a link between the microbiome and intestinal mobility. The enteric neurons also contribute to the development of ALS disease. Those changes happened before weakness in the muscles was diagnosed.  

These findings provide insight into the fundamentals of intestinal neuromuscular function and microbiome in ALS, the study states.

“If you are able to use this method to manipulate the microbiome, you are able to slow down the progression of the disease. We are not saying we can completely cure the disease, but we can make the current animal models live longer, which means you can at least increase the lifespan and the lifestyle of patients,” Sun said. “One mouse year equals about 30 human years. The treated mice lived an average of 38 days longer, which if you promote that to human life, it will be years of longer lifespan compared to the current drugs available to treat ALS.”

Sun said their pioneering research in the microbiome and intestinal dysfunction is getting noticed in the ALS community. There are ongoing clinical trials to study the microbiome in ALS patients.

The research study’s additional authors are Yongguo Zhang, Destiny Ogbu, Shari Garrett and Yinglin Xia. The research review’s additional authors are Sarah Martin and Caroline Battistini.

Research funding support was provided by the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (1 101BX004824-01) and the National Institutes of Health (R01 DK105118, R01DK114126).