#practicing alternate styles don't mind me

[melodic-haze]

Hmm i just had a thought about the recent fic w Arlecchino

What if she had a muzzle on w bunny suit🧐

☆ — DEMO TRACK: sub!Arlecchino x dom!Reader

☆ — TYPE: NSFW

☆ — CONTENT WARNINGS: Breeding, size kink, reader has a cock/strap referred to as such

☆ — NOTES: I'm ngl it's been several Arle fics now that idk which one you were on ab but it's okay gwenchana. Anyway you lot really want to breed her huh (same though)

Good luck convincing Arlecchino to wear a bunny suit actually HAHAHA

She'd do anything for you, really she will!!!! She's so dedicated to you—worshipping you in the same way a diety was meant to be worshipped—that it's actually scary for the both of you, how much of a hold you have on her. But she has some reservations about such a risqué bit of clothing 💀

Not like you blame her though, considering how it wasn't usually her style. Lucky for you, however, YOU get special treatment :3 all it takes is one look at the outfit, one look at her and some time and voila!!! She'll concede—hell, she might even surprise you :3

"You're.. you're sure, right? I know you were kinda against it at first—I feel bad if I ended up forcing you into something you-- mm."

A finger was on your lips, the gesture's message quite clear as your beloved spoke amidst your commanded silence, "I'm sure, yes. I admit I am.. apprehensive, but your longing gaze is more than enough to convince me to, ah.. experiment."

"Really..?"

"Yes. You do not take me for my word?"

"No, I do! It's just..." You huffed out a sigh as you gently took the hand on your lip and took it in your own, "I just don't want you to feel as if you were obligated to entertain my every whim."

You see her eyes soften at your concern and she squeezes your hand as a form of reassurance from your often-so-stoic lover, "You should know better than to believe I would ever compromise my own comfort for something like this."

"And besides," she continues, "surprisingly, I've come to enjoy being.. well, your prey of sorts. Perhaps the outfit may elevate the interest to another level, hm?"

You couldn't help but stare at her, boldness practically radiating off of your lover despite the position you both know she truly holds within the privacy of your bedroom walls. Such boldness prompted an imagined flash of images in your mind—blackened hands all tied up, drool escaping her lips within confining barriers, tears escaping as sinful noises of wet skin-to-skin impact echo along with her moans—and you feel something akin to a hot flash within your core.

Ever so observant, her eyes go half-lidded as she looks up at you, her grin a touch sharper than before, "I see that I have awakened your imagination."

"Maybe."

"You need not imagine it, my beloved." Her voice reduces itself to something of a low purr, "All you need to do is command me, and I will do whatever you wish."

"That's a dangerous promise to make."

"Coming from a dangerous woman such as I, I dare say it balances the scales."

I love dialogue lol anyway tell her to do so and she will do it ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️ and next thing you know you're facing a woman much shorter than you've always known her to be, clad in such a revealing outfit and a muzzle to prevent her from biting so much. She had 'protested' against the latter at first, but you both know from the way that she so very easily accepted such a thing that she was all for the extra torture, not being able to make a mark on you (she forgets that her nails'll probably do the job for her anyway LMAO)

When she's laid out 'helplessly' on the bed as you tower over her, when you put your hand on the flat of her stomach and the both of you see the clear size difference, when you look at her and see so much anticipation and carnal lust practically glazing her eyes? Oh god the both of you KNOW you're not going out this room for a WHILE

She is COMPLETELY at your mercy—you can toy with her all you want, alternating between overstimulation and edging her with whatever is at your disposal until she can't take it anymore so she has to actually beg you to fuck her dumb and reduce all trains of thought into mush. She considers begging as below her, and yet she can't help but let out these reluctant pleas that only seem to gain a more.......willing quality with them in due time. Just make sure to torture her until her composure snaps, giving her her own sort of medicine and having her experience her very own mindbreak through overwhelming pleasure

To see this woman, who is so utterly feared to the point where crowds would part for her in fear that she would plunge her blackened hands into their chest and staining them red, cling to you and hump your cock like a bitch in heat is such a harrowing contrast.......but there is certainly that feeling of something more

Perhaps it's the fact that there was the urge to pin her down into a mating press and stuff her silly until she gets kids on her own ☺️ seeing her take all these children in at the Hearth and not having any herself.....why, for some reason you found yourself feeling like you just had to give her some children of her own. She seems to adore them, so whyever not ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

Even as dazed-out as she is, she can see something change inside you as your objective goes from fucking her silly to something a lot more feral. Doesn't necessarily help that, yk, you have her in a bunny suit. And yk how bunnies just love to breed

As much as Arlecchino had tried to tell you to slow down for a brief moment, it's as if all noise has been blocked out from your senses, save for the sounds your lover makes and the sinfully wet noises that are produced as you piston into her again and again and again and again.

You roughly pushed her down into the matress, now damp and messy from a mixture of your bodily fluids, as you made sure to bottom out inside her as quickly as you drew back—the harsh assault on her hole had hit spots within her she didn't even realise you could hit, not to mention the force of your movements being more than enough to easily stretch her out and mold her insides to fit you and only you.

It was obvious that there was no way any mercy was going to be given to her. The Harbinger could only lay there and take everything you give her like some kind of fleshlight, the 'fight' within her long gone (if she even had some left in her to begin with).

God I need to separate these bc I can't just choose one thank yew bc both are very very very VERY good

If you had a dick:

You were so utterly determined to fill her and making sure your seed takes by the end of your session. If it meant basting her insides with white-hot cum and having it all stuffed inside her to the point where it has no where to go but out by force, then you'll cum inside her over and over again until you can't anymore.

And when your hand goes to press down on her abdomen, you can see the mixture of cum inside her practically spray out at the edges. She can't take it anymore, even she says so, and yet you can't help but wonder just why is her pussy still milking you as if her life depended on it?

Because she's greedy.

Because right now, no longer was she Arlecchino—she was your very own rabbit, hungry for your potent seed.

If you're using a strap:

You know of your limitations—without anything extra such as magical means, you cannot actually have her bare your children. But whyever would you let that stop you, especially when you had benefits that more than makes up for your lack of organic appendages?

If you had the real thing then you could stuff her silly until it takes (and even beyond that), but one can easily make up for it in other qualities such as size and shape.

And really, whatever's stopping you from filling her to the brim with artificial cum instead?

The world is your oyster, and Peruere was nothing but your very own porcelain fuckdoll at this point.

I need to breed her every which way idc if I don't have a dick, if there's a will there's a way

When she realises what you're trying to do, she can't help that sudden jolt that completely overtakes her—her hips practically shoot from the bed, pushing your cock in even deeper, before you push her back down while she lets out a silent scream. By GOD the fact you want to breed her, fill her, make sure a child of YOURS growing inside her, making a mark beyond just her skin.........oh it gets her going in ways she never would've fathomed before

By the end of your VERY long and productive session, it's VERY clear you've both fucked like rabbits from the mess all over the place and the liquid practically gushing from her abused hole. After everything, you finally take off her muzzle, only for you to lead her drool-coated mouth all the way down to the base of your cock to clean it up. She doesn't even protest either, easily taking it like a good girl and making sure that she does a good job in cleaning you up and finishing you off. All you need to do is plug her up properly, feeling all the cum stuffed inside her through the small pauch of her abdomen, where her womb is 🫶

"..I had known this was a possible outcome, and yet I cannot help but be surprised by your control, or lack thereof."

You groaned, covering your face with your hands as you rolled on your side, "I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me! You just looked so irresistible and before I knew it I just--"

"Don't take my words as a form of reprimand, darling." You feel her hands take your own from your face, her lips finally kissing them—you—after a long time of having it muzzled, "I enjoyed it. You are already aware of my.. likes and dislikes, especially when it comes to the rougher parts of the activity. I gave you control, and you willingly seized it."

"I guess..."

"And besides," she muses with a small smile on her face, "I am.. not necessarily opposed to the thought of it."

"Of what?"

"Getting bred."

A warm flush spreads through your cheeks as you gave her a light swat, "You! You are so shameless! What happened to being polite and cryptic?!"

"Do we really need such pleasantries by this point? Seeing that you were rather determined to take me all for yourself, after all..."

"Oh my god."

A deep laugh rumbles within her, the sound so rare and precious that you'd want to keep it all to yourself, and you can't help but laugh along with her as you bask in the afterglow. When your laughter settles down, the two of you end up with your legs tangled up together as you lay there in companionable silence.

Though eventually she decides to break it, "Shall I go and run us a bath?"

"You can stand after all that? Geez, seems like I did a bad job," you joked.

Arlecchino huffed out lightly with a smile, "No, you've rendered me utterly near-useless—a feeling that I don't usually enjoy. Yet the fact that I don't seem to mind it all that much should show that you are special to me."

You feel that heat in your cheeks again at the proclamation, "Archons, and when I aim to have you all sappy like that in public you don't even dare move a muscle."

"Time and place, dear. Time and place. Now," she questions again, "shall I run us a bath? We can take care of the mess later."

You nodded, "Mm, if you don't mind then. But can we take it together?"

You see her eyes crinkle, the glow that the red crosses within them softening like a tender flame, "Of course. I shall be back in a few moments, then."

She gets up, and you pride yourself for being the reason why your lover temporarily goes off balance from a sudden tremor in her legs before collecting yourself.. and you can't help but stare at the remaining cum staining the sides of the plug and the apex of her thighs as she walks off.

She doesn't take the plug off when you go and take the bath together. Wonder why 😋

[sp6ncers]

platform boots — s reid

summary: reader decides that spencer would look good in her style, and gives him a make over

spencer reid x trad goth! fem! reader. fluff. 2nd person, pov switches.

warnings/content: harassment, mentions of sexual harassment and bullying, established relationship, idiots in love, reader is shorter than spencer, reader gets called a bitch but not by spencer, pet names (silly girl, baby, pretty boy, angel), kissing, kinda insecure reader

wc : ~ 3k

author's note : my 2nd tumblr fic now that im getting the hang of it! this is literally just a cute fluffy fic because i want to and every day i dream of alternative spencer reid 🙂‍↕️ not really any specific season in mind but i pictured longer hair spencer for this, maybe season 4 or 5 :)) sorry if this is ass i got lazy because i so much prefer writing angst ijbol

Being an alternative woman in public is one thing, but being an alternative woman whose boyfriend is practically the complete opposite of you is a whole different issue. You're used to the comments that get thrown at you — after all, you've dealt with that for years, since you started dressing "unconventionally" in middle school. You've learned to ignore the sexualising comments from teenage boys and old men alike, and you can easily tune out the disapproving glares from middle aged women. However, what you aren't as okay with is when people bring your boyfriend into it.

You and Spencer are sitting together on the train home from a museum date, your knees touching as he holds your hand, fidgeting with your rings. You feel the gazes of a group of young boys — no more than fifteen — not far away from where you sit. You decide to ignore them, like you usually do, and you just hope that they don't decide to yell at you like you sometimes have had people do.

Your gaze traces over your boyfriend, and you find yourself unable to suppress a smile. As the days are getting colder, he's been wearing more layers, and it's just so cute. You love the way his scarf is wrapped around his neck and tucked into the dark brown jacket he's wearing. The soft waves of hair that frame his face are even more adorable when they're brushing over the rosiness of his cold cheeks.

Feeling you looking at him, Spencer looks away from your hands and up to your face. "What?" he asks with a smile of his own as he sees your grin.

"Nothing," you reply, nudging your knee against his. "You're just cute."

He smiles shyly, a pink tint creeping across his face. "No, I'm not," he responds. He's never been good at accepting compliments.

Raising a teasing eyebrow, you let a joking scold taint your voice as you say, "Don't argue with me, Dr Reid."

"Yes, ma'am," he chuckles breathily, his thumb brushing over your knuckles.

Spencer's eyes fall to the floor, where your chunky platform boots rest beside his battered converse. He always loves it when you wear these boots, he thinks they're pretty with the silver studs you had glued onto them and the maroon laces you'd threaded through the eyelets. He's always admired how crafty you are, how you can make any basic item of clothing into something much more extravagant. Something else he loves about these boots is that they make you a little taller — still not as tall as him, but it makes it easier for him to kiss you.

Moving away from your boots, his gaze follows your legs, clad in two pairs of thermal tights beneath the long black skirt you're wearing. He'd watched you embroider the pattern of roses into the fabric a few weeks ago, practically in a trance. The way your eyebrows had been furrowed in concentration as your fingers swiftly worked was a beautiful thing to watch. He's convinced you could craft the galaxy with your bare hands if you wanted to.

Hazel eyes trace over your thighs and up your torso, flickering across the many layers you're wearing. He counts four — maybe five? — layers, which isn't surprising considering how prone to getting cold you are. The neckline of a lacy purple long-sleeve peeks out from beneath your Bauhaus T-shirt, which is partially hidden by a black zip-up that you had painted a pattern onto in bleach. Over the zip-up sits your baggy leather jacket, something you rarely leave the apartment without. A few necklaces decorate your neck, most of them ones that he had given you.

As his gaze finds yours again, he smiles. A cheesy, cute, I'm-so-in-love-with-you smile. When you smile back, his heart skips a beat. He loves the way the eyeliner cobwebs attached to the thick wing on your eyes shift with the movement of your pretty, black-painted lips.

"You're so pretty," Spencer tells you softly. He looks at you as if you'd just reached into the sky and handed him the moon.

Heat rises to your cheeks at his words — even after almost two years of dating, you still feel butterflies whenever he compliments you. You don't think that feeling will ever go away. You don't want it to. "So are you," you respond, giving his hand a squeeze.

As you say the words, the train slows to a halt at your stop. The both of you wait until it has fully stopped before standing and heading to the doors. As you do, the boys you'd caught staring at you earlier decide it would be amusing to yell at you.

"Emo bitch!" one of them shouts, his voice cracking embarrassingly. It almost makes you crack a smile.

Spencer squeezes your hand, a silent way to tell you it's okay and to not say anything back, but you're already glancing back at the laughing group with a cold glare. You part your lips to retaliate, but decide that your boyfriend is right. You stick to simply flipping them off as the two of you exit the train.

As you look back at Spencer, he gives you a pointed look. You shrug and say, "What? I didn't say anything." But you know you wouldn't have stayed silent if anything had been said about him instead.

You switch sides with him, slipping your hand into his as you adjust the strap of your bag on your shoulder. The walk home is quiet and peaceful, thankfully void of any more cruel comments from strangers. Spencer's hand is somehow warm in yours, despite the frosty air and cold breeze that bites at your skin. Fallen leaves crunch beneath your shoes as the wind nudges them across the ground.

When you reach your shared apartment, Spencer quickly turns up the thermostat as you both step inside. As you both shrug off your jackets and hang them up, he presses a quick kiss to your forehead — likely trying to determine how cold you are.

"Do you want a drink?" he asks whilst tugging off his converse. "Tea?"

"No, I'm okay," you reply, plopping down onto the floor to take off your boots. Unzipping one, you let out a little grunt of effort as you tug it from your foot. "You know what I do want, though?"

"What?"

"I want..." You pause as you pull off the other boot, biting your lip. "I want to put make-up on you. My kind of make-up."

His eyes find yours as he tilts his head slightly. "You do?"

You hesitate, unsure if his response means that he is repulsed by the idea and would rather lick the floor of your building's elevator than let you do that. Looking away, your voice falls quieter as you reply, "I don't have to. It was just an idea. Sorry. It was stupid."

"Hey, silly girl." He sits in front of you on the floor, moving your boots out of the way as he shifts closer. "It's not stupid. Look at me," he says gently, tilting your chin up with his index and middle finger so that he can look into your eyes. "It's not a stupid idea. And you don't have to apologise. If that's something you want to do, I'd be more than happy to let you, okay?"

The slight pout on your lips is so adorable he feels like his heart might explode.

"Are you sure? You don't have to say yes," you mutter shyly. "It doesn't matter, really. You can say no, it's—"

"Baby," he cuts you off in a gentle voice, his tone one that makes your stomach flutter. The motherfucker always knows what to say and how to say it to shut you up. "I'm sure."

Your lips twitch into a nervous smile. He thinks it's so incredibly cute how you're so shy and sweet when most people would assume other things about you based on your appearance. He thinks it's silly how people make assumptions on others based on how they dress. He thinks a lot of things, but his mind goes blank when you lean in and kiss him.

Immediately kissing you back, he smiles against your lips and rests his hands on your waist to pull you just a bit closer. Knees knocking together, you break the kiss with a giggle and tuck his hair behind his ear.

"Do you want to do it now, or later?" he asks.

"Now. Is that okay?"

"Of course," Spencer says, smiling as he kisses you once more before standing up and pulling you to your feet.

So you head into the bathroom together, but you decide he's too tall for you to be able to do it properly when he's sat on the counter. He laughs when you tell him that, and disappears into the bedroom while you gather the rest of your make-up. Once you have everything, you follow after him into the bedroom.

"Sit on the bed," you instruct.

"Yes, ma'am," he replies with a laugh, sitting down with his back against the headboard.

Giggling softly, you walk over and set the various items in your arms on the nightstand. As you move to sit on the bed, straddling his lap, you shrug off the zip-up and drop it onto the other side of the bed. Even while you're doing something as simple as reaching over to grab a headband, Spencer still looks at you like you are the eighth wonder of the world.

You smile at him as you gently push the headband into his hair, keeping it back off his face. It's gotten so long recently — not that you're complaining. You love running your hands through the soft strands, curling them around your fingertips. "You're so cute," you mutter. "My pretty boy."

You can feel the heat of his skin beneath yours as you cup his face between your hands and press a sweet kiss to his lips. Lips parting, tongues teasing each other's, his hands running up and down your sides, pulling you closer by the small of your back.

You break the kiss with a giggle, a string of spit attached between you. "Okay, we need to get started," you say through laughter as he licks his lips.

"One more kiss," he murmurs, leaning in and pecking you gently.

Smiling, you stroke his cheek for a moment before straightening up and reaching over to grab your moisturiser from the nightstand. Spencer watches you intently as you flick open the cap and squeeze some out onto your fingertips.

"It's cold," you warn him before you swipe the moisturiser onto his cheeks and gently rub it into his skin.

He doesn't mind the coldness of the liquid, just focusing on the feeling of your hands on his skin. He is pretty sure that your touch could make anything better.

He isn't sure if he is supposed to have his eyes open or shut as you dab some more onto his face, but he keeps them open so that he can look at you. The look of concentration on your face is so pretty.

He also isn't sure what to do with his hands — should he be touching you, or would that be a distraction? He keeps them lightly resting atop your thighs, knowing you'd tell him if you wanted him to stop touching you.

As you finish moisturising his skin, letting it sit for a few moments, you wipe off your fingers on a tissue and say, "You have really nice skin."

"That sounds like something a serial killer would say," he comments teasingly, a smile on his face.

"Shut up!" you giggle. "It's just a fact. Your skin is nice."

Swapping the moisturiser for a bottle of primer, you fall quiet as you flick open the cap. Soft hums of concentration vibrating through your lips, you rub it into his skin so that the make-up will actually stick to his face. His fingertips lightly trace rub circles onto your thighs as he watches you with nothing but awe and love in his eyes.

As you're blending out the white foundation onto his face with a damp beauty blender — he thinks that's what it is called — he wonders if he will look silly when you're done. Of course, he has never thought that you look silly when your make-up is all done, but he isn't you. To him, you look beautiful whatever you wear, however you present yourself. He's just not sure if this will suit him. Although, even if it looks bad on him, he'd let you do it over and over again until the end of time if it would make you happy.

Now that there is foundation spread evenly across his face, his skin feels kind of weird, but not exactly in a bad way. It almost feels tight, like something is pulling on it. It is a strangely nice sensation.

Spencer tries to stay still as you pat in the concealer beneath his eyes, his eyelids twitching slightly.

"Stop moving," you scold playfully, pausing your actions for a moment.

"I'm trying," he replies, his voice a breathy chuckle.

"Try harder."

"You're so bossy."

"You know you love it."

He smiles, amused. You're right, he does love it. He loves anything and everything that you do. Since the moment he met you, he has been completely whipped. Obsessed. In love.

After finishing the grey-ish contour on his nose and beneath his cheekbones, you start on the eyeliner. You decide to do something simple, rather than the more elaborate designs you sometimes do on yourself. Beginning to draw a wing from the corner of his eye, you will your hand to not shake like it usually does; you don't want to end up getting overly frustrated and having to redraw it fifty times.

Somehow, it goes smoothly, and you finish both wings without a problem. You use a black eyeliner pencil on his waterlines and add a smidge of dark purple eyeshadow to his lids before curling his lashes. How come men always have such luxurious eyelashes? you think.

"Okay, I'm not gonna put on false lashes, I'll just do mascara," you tell him, leaning over to grab one of your unused mascaras from the nightstand.

As you do, you shift too much weight and almost fall off the bed. Quickly, Spencer leans forward steadies you with a hold on your waist. "Careful there, angel," he laughs in a teasing tone. "You're so clumsy sometimes."

"Well, says the one who spilt coffee on the counter twice in one day last week!" you reply, giggling.

"I never claimed to not be clumsy," he counters, patting your thigh. "JJ is right when she says that my coordination drops off when I'm thinking."

"A wise woman," you muse.

"Very."

You smile, kiss his forehead, and grab the mascara. As you twist it open and wipe off the excess, you say, "Okay, just blink when I say to, okay?"

"Okay."

So you apply mascara to his stupidly nice eyelashes, dab a tiny bit of highlighter onto the apples of his cheeks and the tip of his nose, and put a simple lip combo on his beautiful lips.

"Okay, there. I think it's done," you say. Quickly, you take it back. "Wait, I need to do your hair."

"Alright," he chuckles as you take the headband out of his hair, discarding it onto the nightstand.

You head off into the bathroom to grab your hairbrush, returning a moment later with it and a few hair ties. You manoeuvre him into the position you want — sitting more in the middle of the bed — and sit behind him on your knees.

"Your hair is so soft," you murmur as you gently run your fingers through it.

"You say that every single time you play with my hair," he points out, a smile in his voice.

"And it's true every single time," you reply as you start to brush his hair.

Spencer hums contentedly, his eyes falling shut as you brush his hair. He's always loved when you touch his hair, whether that is stroking it, twisting it around your fingers, or pulling it. He loves it all.

As you brush his hair, taking your time, you wonder if he will like it. You wonder if he's enjoying this. You wonder if he liked letting you put make-up on him.

"I would, maybe, dress you up in my clothes, but I don't think any of them would fit you."

He laughs softly. "Yeah, probably not."

"And my boots certainly wouldn't fit your gigantic feet," you tease.

"Maybe your feet are just tiny," Spencer counters jokingly.

When you're satisfied that his hair is thoroughly brushed, you part it down the middle, separating it into two even-ish sections. You braid each half, something you have always wanted to do with his hair but never asked out of fear of him saying no. But right now, he isn't protesting, which you take as a good sign.

"Okay, all done," you chime happily, letting the braids fall onto his shoulders.

"Done?"

"Mhm, done."

Hopping off the bed, you take his hands in yours and lead him into the bathroom. Before you step inside, you make him cover his eyes as you tell him, "Okay, you can't judge it because I'm not used to doing make-up on other people."

Spencer nods, practically itching to see his reflection. "I won't judge. I promise."

"Good. Okay, you— you can look now," you reply, standing beside him and looking at his reflection in the mirror as he moves his hands away from his face.

His reaction is hard to decipher, but at least he does not look repulsed. After a moment of studying his face, his lips twitch into a smile.

"It looks good."

"Really?" you ask, rocking back and forth on your feet as you fidget with your sleeves.

"Yeah. I— I mean, it's obviously not something I'm used to, but it's... cool," he says with a soft laugh, turning to face you.

You smile, biting your lip. "Good. Okay, good. I'm glad you don't... you know, hate it."

Smiling back at you, Spencer wraps his arms around you and kisses the top of your head. "I could never hate anything you do."

"You're so cheesy."

[groovyfrog420]

SV Redeemed AU

INTRODUCTION / DISCLAIMER

First things first, these designs for Shadow Milk and Pure Vanilla are FAR into the future. Quite literally end game phase of the story, the “they grow old together and live happily ever after”. There's a long way to get there, and while I will write some of my thoughts about their journey, I'm a shitty writer. There's no single thought-out plot, it's just bits and pieces of my thoughts in one place. 

I don't think I'd be making a tag or naming this AU anything specific. I'm still calling it an AU because there is a bit of canon divergence, but I don’t have a start-to-finish story. (EDIT: wellp that lasted long. new name is #False-Truth AU because I like the oxymoron. I still don't think I'll do much - maybe a few short comics, which you'll be able to find under that tag on my profile)

Keep in mind that these are just my own interpretations, if you imagine these cookies acting differently, that's ok! This is just my own made-up alternate version

LONG POST UNDER THE CUT - don't say I didn't warn ya

I’ve tried to divide it into sections, so if you are looking for just smth specific / only care about one of the characters, you can skip right to it!

Prepare for the ramblings. 

PURE VANILLA'S DESIGN 

more relaxed now - doesn’t need to keep up perfect appearances and the image of a hero, so he can lay back a bit more. (messier, less perfectly styled hair - more like his younger years. comfier clothes.) 

focusing on herbology - with less power now (why explained below) and trying to not overwork himself, he’s taken to different healing methods, as well as taking on gardening as a hobby

slightly more open eyes - (heavily elaborated on bellow) 

different staff - due to being able to use his own eyes more now, as well as staying more on the low, he’d decided to retire the famous staff. Since it’s a flower, it was planted somewhere and allowed to blossom and grow freely - fitting symbolism for a new beginning, I think. The lantern light glowing blue makes it easier on his eyes.

PV STORY BITS 

In this AU Shadow Milk and Pure Vanilla retire together. I think PV would still like to teach, but would focus more on the medical and practical side of things, like herbs and healing practices. (He’ll leave telling tales about the past  to Shadow Milk, though he might throw in his own comments from time to time…) He mostly offers advice and shares every-day methods for protection of different kinds with those who ask, but may take on an apprentice or few to fully pass down his healing knowledge to. He uses magic sparingly now. 

This way with not focusing on a variety of subjects and many, many students, he’s able to rest more and doesn’t have to split himself between multiple worries. He can focus properly and give his students more individual attention, to make sure his knowledge will be retained for the future. 

Eyes

(don't jump me pls read the footnote) 

I've decided to take the closed/covered eyes motif PV has in a bit more symbolic way *. I want to interpret it as PV being blind (=ignorant) to the world around him, choosing to see the world and his own actions in an idealized light, and to look away from anything that doesn't fit that idea. Light sensitivity would be very ironic yet fitting - since his own powers are very light-based, by using them to help others he’d be blindinding/hurting himself in the process... 

Over time, he realizes how futile it is. Even if he turns his eyes away from the wrongdoing in the world, from his own mistakes and imperfections, they will still continue to happen. He begins to understand that he has to accept that neither he nor the world is perfect, to stop wallowing over the past and start fixing the present. To keep moving forward and keep working on himself, not hide his imperfections under literal and figurative wraps. 

With the help of Shadow Milk, he begins to open his eyes more and more and accept the real truth, no matter how imperfect it is. 

*I’m not sure how confirmed it was in canon that he’s blind (from what I’ve seen it was mostly implied, but still). I'm not erasing that - for the sake of this AU, I'd like to say that he has partial issues with sight (including the mentioned light sensitivity), but now he learns to accommodate them rather than ignore them and hurt himself more for the sake of others. No, he doesn't magically gain full sight now, but he's more comfortable, healthier, and more honest about the world around him with all of its imperfections. 

Burnout

I believe SM and PV complete each other so perfectly because they can help each other grow in areas where the other is lacking/struggling. With PV, I’d like to focus on burnout, false ideas, and how the pressure he’s constantly under has affected him. He was very much just a normal guy before receiving his Soul Jam. Years beyond a normal cookie’s lifespan of hard work and trying to be the perfect leader, to always ensure the happiness of all his people (whether that be as king or otherwise) are bound to take a toll on anyone. Obviously he'd never admit that, always putting everyone else before his own needs, and he’d likely run himself into the grave. That's where I think Shadow Milk would be helpful - he’d make him realize how unsustainable what he’s doing really is. He wasn’t built for handling immense power for all of eternity, he’s just a single cookie and whether he likes it or not, he can’t save everyone or make every single one of his people happy... Being selfish isn’t entirely wrong, sometimes might even be necessary. 

Onto the idea of false truth - Pure Vanilla has a very idealized view of a lot of things and people. He’s trying to see everyone in the best light, but he also holds a high standard for himself - that he must be the ideal, shining and caring hero and a beacon of perfection . Shadow Milk is likely to pick that image apart - probably not in the kindest way, saying that in trying to be perfectly selfless, PV is putting himself on the pedestal above everyone else while still being just a single cookie with limited capabilities. He’d likely call this image egoistical, and while PV would argue that he’s doing it for the good of others (he is helping after all, right?), Shadow Milk wouldn’t be entirely wrong - this way of thinking, that he’s the one who must take care of everyone else, is harmful for both him and the ones he’s trying to protect. 

Shadow Milk would show him that truth is relative, that “pure truth” doesn’t exist, for anyone could interpret it differently. That PV isn’t (and doesn't have to be) the perfect blameless hero. That his people aren’t as good or pure as he’d like to give them credit for, but neither are they helpless. 

Shadow Milk metaphorically and literally helps him open his eyes - he slowly learns to lay back, to accept the reality and “truth”, whatever it may be, and is no longer blinding and burning himself out by trying to help everyone at once. With a new mindset and outlook of the world, he can allow himself to retire, and leave a calmer, out-of-the-spotlight life. 

Retirement

Ok, controversial idea, but I think the ancients will have to one day retire and pass down their SoulJams. Yes, I played Cookie Odyssey, I know how important it is to them, but hear me out. As I said above (which is shown in the game btw, but correct me if I'm wrong), they were just normal cookies before taking on the roles of the Ancient Heros. Cookies with high achievements, yes, but still. They aren’t The Beasts, baked specifically for the purpose of handling the Soul Jams, and even then, The Beasts weren’t perfect. I’m not saying they’re bound to get corrupted like their predecessors did, but I am saying that this role is bound to take a toll on them. Not even just from the perspective of power, even just handling so many responsibilities with running their kingdoms is going to be extremely draining mentally. (Physically likely too, even if they’re said to stay “always young” thanks to the Soul Jams - many stories teach that you can’t mess with nature and that nothing lasts forever...)

I don’t know who they’d pass the Soul Jams along too - whether that’d be Gingerbrave and his friends, or a new batch of heroes, that is to be decided. The point is, they have served their purpose, they have (from the perspective of this AU) defeated Dark Enchantress, and deserve to now leave the rest of  their lives in peace.

SHADOW MILK'S DESIGN 

“mellowed out” a bit - continues to be eccentric and dramatic, but less manic

still unsettling - most level-headed cookies upon meeting him immediately get a feeling that there's something.. off about him, even if they can't put their finger on it. (I purposefully left some of his corrupted design elements or callbacks to them, like the marking over his eye, for that reason) 

vibrant, colorful, very extra in both behavior and looks, everything he does he does with drama and flourish 

quiets down when out of the eyes of the public, or alone with Pure Vanilla 

peacock elements - fitting for someone with such a vibrant personality. also the eye connection is perfect - if you look closely at the feather he's wearing, you might even notice a familiar symbol in its “eye”

a playful bard - (elaborated heavily bellow) - an identity allows him to enjoy his favorite activities, while also being a slight callback to his academic past 

SM STORY BITS

The bard 

While spending more time with Pure Vanilla, PV encouraged him to pursue his creative interests. Partly to have smth to get SM’s mind off of causing chaos, and partly because they let him indulge and express himself without causing any serious damage. Now he’s joined PV in retirement, though still not fully stepping down from the stage.

Being a bard allows Shadow Milk to indulge in everything he likes most: being the center of attention, dramatics, theatrics, mischief, a tasteful dose of lies and half-truths, but also, in a way, calling back to his past self: for while a lot of his stories are made-up tales, he can also share the history of Earthbread that he’s witnessed. Yes, he may do so through over-dramatic performances or behind caricatural characters, but every tale holds a grain of truth, does it not? Whether his audience chooses to believe him or not is their choice to make.

Referencing the fact that a big part of human history survived through word of mouth, and how storytellers play an important role in preserving it, I think it’s only fitting to make him a bard.

About visual choices

I made his redeemed design less chaotic and asymmetrical, but still vibrant and based mostly on his current color palette, rather than the one from Blueberry Academy. That's because while he may be rediscovering his interests from the past, he’s not the person he was before corruption and never will be again. Instead, he too is learning to rediscover the world in a new light, with a new identity. 

Visually I’ve tried to keep some elements from his current design, if slightly toned down: a wide collar, puffy sleeves, a flowy cape. Elements of his corruption are also still there: different colored sclera (= his one eye being black), the sharp teeth. He may have settled down and calmed down slightly, but he remains as playful as ever :)) 

He still causes local chaos once in a while or resorts to pranking unsuspecting cookies nearby (the slight charring at the bottom of PV’s robe is a result of one of such pranks getting out of hand), and PV has accepted that he'll never be a calm, put-together cookie he once might have been. However, SM's learned to not be a danger to others for the sake of the one he cares about the most, and that's enough for the both of them. 

And that's all for now! If you've managed to get this far, thank you SO much for your patience, I hope you've enjoyed my thoughts and brainworms <3

[adobe-outdesign]

Can we get a review of Gelert? I personally think baby Gelert got a better deal being converted.

Gelerts are basically dogs to the Lupe's wolves, but while basic Lupes are pretty much just normal wolves, Gelerts are a bit more distinct due to their long tails and ears, which flow forwards over their heads instead of backwards. This gives them an interesting visual element right off the bat that makes them stand out. (They've always reminded me of Whippets or Greyhounds due to this, though their main body anatomy is closer to a Labrador.) It's a simple design, but an effective one.

I generally think Gelerts benefited from customization, gaining a subtle pair of eyebrows and less fur on top of their heads. Most important is the smoothing of the ears; originally, the Gelert was known as the Polypup (as in polygonal) and the "pointy-ness" was a selling point (no pun intended). While the right angles were kind of interesting, the ears never matched with the tail and they always kind of felt broken to me, so I'd say smoothing them was a good call.

The only cons to the converted versions are that they have a really messed up tiny hind haunch that looks worse the more you stare at it.

Favorite Colours:

Maraquan: I really like how the Maraquan Gelert plays around with the regular ears and tail by making them into tentacles, which feels very natural. The purple and green palette works well, the spots and underbelly add just the right amount of detail, and the additional fins flow nicely.

The only disappointing thing about it is that the converted version doesn't look half as good as the UC/styled version. The original design had a beautiful, natural flow to it, while the converted version is posed really strangely and has no flow whatsoever (not helped by the awkward foreleg placement). On the plus side, the shading improved greatly, but that just makes me wish we had the styled version with improved shading and highlights.

Baby: Baby Gelerts are really cute, leaning fully into the puppy aspect instead of being weirdly humanoid like some baby pets. They're basically just the same thing as a regular Gelert but smaller and more condensed; however, not only do they now have a collar and more head fur, but the ears also flow backwards instead of forward, kind of like how some puppy's ears don't perk upright until later in life. Very cute!

There's a UC/styled version for this one, but unlike Maraquan, I agree with the asker that it looks way worse. The shading is practically non-existent and the expression and face are really off-putting. Plus, the converted has the benefit of being able to remove the collar if desired.

Mutant: Another Gelert design that adds tentacles, but this time it's done in more of a slimy horror-y way instead of a sea creature way. The concept is obviously strong and the neutral palette works well, with brown paws and a lighter underbelly for contrast and black spike accents. My only nitpick is that I kind of wish the tail and the ears were the same color.

While mutant was redrawn for customization, the design itself thankfully didn't change at all, just the pose. That said I wouldn't mind getting some styles for this one in the future, just because the alternate poses are fun.

BONUS: Instead of going for a standard ninja look, the Stealthy Gelert opts for an assassin look, and by that I mean it's a Hot Topic mall goth teenager who's watched too much anime. The design is really fun and the hooks on the ears and tail are just the right amount of absurd. The base color also looks good.

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wieman - Part 14

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Word : 5k

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Saturday, November 7th; 8:45 AM - Ona and Alexia's Room

I stretch in my bed when I realize that I won't be able to sleep any longer. I had already been tossing and turning for a good ten minutes now. I sigh as I see that it's not even nine o'clock on the radio alarm. This school is definitely changing me. It's Saturday, and I'm still stuck here. It's not such a bad thing if I think about what's waiting for me in Barcelona. My week went relatively well if you forget about my tardiness on Tuesday and the interaction with my teacher on Wednesday. I understood that Bronze didn't like it and wanted to punish me with this weekend. It only takes her disapproval for me to stay here. I also started catching up on my lessons in her office after my classes since Thursday. She's depriving me of a good part of my free time.

Well, at least I'm not alone this weekend. I learned that Bronze is also staying. We had dinner together last night and even ended the evening watching a movie. I had stupidly suggested it and was surprised that she accepted. She must have pitied my boredom. I realize now that I fell asleep during the movie and here I am alone again. She must have put away my laptop because I can't see it anymore. I don't worry too much about it and take my phone from my bedside table to check social media. I quickly get bored and decide to put my phone away and get out of bed. Too bad the rules remain the same on weekends. I never tried to take it outside since there are always at least two instructors staying. Today, one of them is Bronze, so I'm even less likely to take the risk.

I dress in jeans and a thick sweater. It's starting to get cold outside. The sun has disappeared for a few days, leaving clouds and a cool breeze. Needless to say, I'm not used to it! I brush my teeth and finish with some makeup and a brush through my hair. Before leaving, I make my bed neatly and put on my military jacket. I've grown accustomed to this jacket. It's practical and not so ugly if I wear it with regular clothes. It gives a certain style. Luckily for me, breakfast is served until nine-thirty on weekends. I have plenty of time to go. I hope to run into Bronze along the way... It seems I'm not lucky because I end up eating alone.

I go looking for her right after, as she told me she didn't mind spending the day with me. It's always better to be with her than to stay alone in my corner, twiddling my thumbs. Knowing her, she's already awake. I look in all the places she's likely to be. There's no sign of her presence. I even risked knocking on her room without permission, but no one answered. All that's left is her office... It's with relief that I finally find her there, deeply engrossed in paperwork.

- Hey, Bronze.

- Oh, hi Ona, she replies, looking up. Finally up?

- Finally? I chuckle.

- From what you told me, you don't get up early on weekends.

- Normally that's the case. This is the first time I've managed to sleep this long.

- I told you you'd get used to it quickly, she smiles. I came by your room around eight, but you were still asleep.

- Oh, sorry about that and for falling asleep last night too.

- No problem, she giggles. You needed the sleep.

- Can I stay with you?

- Of course. I won't be much longer.

I smile and quickly sit down across from her desk, on the chair that has become my spot. I watch her work and realize she's busy. I didn't know she worked on weekends too.

- By the way...

- Hmm? she responds without looking at me.

- I never had the chance to thank you for my birthday gift, so thank you. You're really crazy! What you bought me is expensive, but it made me really happy. How did you know it was my favorite gear?

- I didn't know, she smiles, looking up. I just asked the salesperson for advice and he recommended it. I'm glad you liked it. Have you used it yet?

- No, I haven't had the chance yet, but I brought it here since I didn't have anything else. Maybe I'll start using it one evening when I'm not too exhausted.

She nods before returning to her papers. I don't dare disturb her anymore seeing her so focused. She scribbles on each sheet, then flips it over to start the next one. I hadn't immediately noticed, but she's not wearing her uniform. It's the first time I've seen her in her own clothes. She's wearing a white shirt that suits her perfectly. It’s quite different from her camouflage jacket. Her hair is down in a naturally wavy style, very pretty. It's so strange to see her so... normal. She knows how to present herself. The few pieces of jewelry she wears complete her outfit perfectly. She manages to be both classy and chic. I notice her jeans fit her well when she stands to get a binder from the cabinet. My eyes widen when I see her heels. I didn't think she was the type to wear those shoes. I suppress my expression when she turns to me and frown when she hands me the binder.

- Since you're here, would you mind helping me? I need to make another stack.

- I guess I don't have a choice.

- You can say no. It just saves you from waiting around twiddling your thumbs.

- Well, you could have come up with a better argument. You're lucky I was going to say yes.

I take the binder from her hands. She sits back down and gives me the stack she just finished. I file them away without needing her instructions. I know how to do it from doing it so often. Meanwhile, she starts on the next pile.

- So, you managed to sleep longer? she brings the topic back.

- Yeah, my first "lie-in" in this lousy place, I replied, mimicking air quotes.

- Watch your language, she scolds me harshly.

- Oh, you can't argue...

- Yes, I can.

I roll my eyes, preferring not to respond. She won't let me have the last word, even though I'm sure she doesn't think any less of it since we discussed the school and Sarina with Leah and Engen. She doesn't like the new rules imposed on them, but she enforces them anyway. I'll never understand her.

- Do you have any plans today? she changes the subject.

- No... Maybe I'll take the opportunity to open a book.

- Hmm, too bad for you then... she smiles slyly.

- Why? I frown.

- I had something planned, but since you're busy, I won't disturb you.

I look at her, bewildered. I feel like she's teasing me. She should know I said that because that's what I would do if I had nothing else to do.

- Go ahead, propose.

- No, too late, she teases.

Since when does she act like this with me? I want to smile, but mostly, I want to know what she's thinking.

- Come on! Tell me, Lucy.

I try to stifle a smile as she raises an eyebrow. It's the first time I've used her first name since I learned it, and I wanted to see her reaction. I'm not disappointed. It's strange to call her something other than Bronze or commander.

- Don't call me that here.

- There's no one around, I roll my eyes.

- That's not a reason. You never know who's around.

- So, can I call you that elsewhere?

- No, she replies, making me smile.

- So, what did you have planned?

- I never said I was including you.

- You implied it!

- Until you told me you were busy.

- Oh, come on! You know very well that I'm bored here and that's why I said that!

She ignores me and continues her work with a smile on her lips. Damn... I think she's going to leave me in suspense. I hide my frustration to avoid her mocking me. To pass the time, I quickly finish the work she gave me while she finishes hers. Luckily for me, she finishes quickly. I watch her as she puts the binder back in its place and rummages through one of her desk drawers. I'm puzzled when she pulls out some keys.

- Come on, get up, let's go.

Her words catch me off guard. I stand up from my chair without asking questions. She locks her office door and looks around, as if to make sure we're alone in the hallway.

- You don't need to get ready? she asks, eyeing me.

I frown, not understanding why she's asking that. I shake my head. She smiles and dangles some keys around her finger.

- Why are you showing me that?

- Promise not to tell anyone?

- Tell what, Lucy? I ask, making her roll her eyes at the use of her name.

- Do you have any special desire today?

- I don't know. Why?

- I think it wouldn't hurt you to go out a bit after everything you've been through.

I remain silent, finally understanding her intentions. She wants us to go out?! I don't even dare ask her directly for fear of being disappointed.

- You realize you're going to break all the rules by doing this?

- If you prefer, we can stay here.

- Are you kidding?!

- Then shut up, she smiles. There are few staff members on camp this weekend. We can slip away without any problem, but I need your utmost discretion.

- Promise! I quickly reply.

- Good, let's go now then. We don't have much time.

- Not much time?

- Ingrid is handling the reception for an hour. Same for tonight, she informs me, looking at her watch. We have fifteen minutes. Come on, move!

Even Engen is in on this? I don't know if I should laugh considering the moral lesson they gave us again on Wednesday night. I quickly follow Lucy, heading towards the parking lot. We find her beautiful Audi... I'll never get tired of it! She asks me to duck down until we're out of the camp. I chuckle. I feel so ridiculous doing it, but it's for a good cause. I only sit up once we're past the reception where Engen wishes us a good day. We thank her, and then Bronze speeds through the streets. I start to recognize the road leading to downtown. I might be wrong, but it seems like that's where we're headed.

- So, any special desire? she asks again, pulling me out of my contemplation of the scenery.

- Why are you doing this? Why take me out of camp?

She glances at me. She shrugs.

- Actually, I don't know, she admits. I think you deserve it after your involuntary withdrawal and all that. Plus, I saw your dejected face when I told you you couldn't go home. I understood that you needed to see something else.

- Thank you... I murmur.

I lower my head and nervously play with my fingers. She must have noticed my change in behavior because she places her free hand on my shoulder.

- Hey, I didn't mean to make you feel bad like that.

- It's not that, on the contrary, I say, smiling timidly.

She removes her hand to shift gears. We don't talk anymore. We've just arrived downtown and we're already caught in traffic.

- I feel like I'm important to you, even if that's not the case, I say. It feels good to be taken care of like you do.

- You are important.

I look at her without hiding my surprise. She keeps repeating that I'm a student like any other. How can she say something like that now? She contradicts all the words she's upheld until now. She sighs, running a hand through her hair. I think she just realized what she said.

- What I mean is that you intrigue me. It's clear that you have a past you don't accept. I sense that you're not comfortable in your own skin, and that drives me to help you. I'll always respect your privacy and boundaries, but I enjoy learning about who you are, Ona. Plus, I have to admit that I also enjoy the little game we've set up between us. Many people, including myself, think it adds some cheer to the camp.

Her words sound so sincere. I don't know what to say or what to think. She must have sensed my discomfort because she changes the subject.

- Yeah... Anyway, it's eleven o'clock. I thought we could do a paintball session for an hour, she suggests. Then, we can eat wherever you want.

- Really?

- Yeah, and for this afternoon, we can still discuss it. I know several cool places we could go to.

- Paintball, then...? I murmur. Do you want to take me down or something? I joke.

- The idea is quite appealing, she says with amusement. But it could go both ways. We'll have a private field just for us.

- Seriously?

- Yes, I know the owner. Are you interested?

- Obviously! Like I'd miss a chance to beat you!

Her laughter makes me smile. This day is likely to be one of the best of my life. She takes the first opportunity to exit the main road to avoid the traffic. We continue driving for a few minutes before she parks in a lot. I observe the building, which looks like a warehouse with its metal facade. Lucy leads the way after grabbing a bag from her trunk. She seems to know the place well. We enter, and the decor takes my breath away. Everything is black, even the ceiling and floor. It's truly stunning! I linger on the fluorescent tags on one of the walls. They are very realistic and really beautiful. Lucy must have noticed my distraction because she calls out to me. I hurry to join her at the counter, where a man with an impressive build is standing behind it.

- This is Beth, a friend of mine, she announces.

- Hello.

- Hi, Ona.

She caught me off guard by calling me by my name. Bronze must have introduced me... or talked about me. I timidly return her smile. She seems amused by my shyness. At the same time, she is very impressive. I'm surprised by their friendship. I must be judging her by his appearance. She seems nicer than she looks.

- Well, you know your way around here, huh? she laughs. I'll leave you to it; you know the way. I've reserved room 3 for you.

- Yep, thanks.

- Have fun!

She winks at me. Lucy rolls her eyes and pulls me along with her. We arrive in a sort of locker room next to room three. I don't even know where to look. I'm really into the decor that is the same everywhere. I linger on every new drawing I see.

- Ona, are you listening to me?

- Huh?

- You're impossible, she mocks. Do you like it here that much?

- Totally! Have you seen the drawings everywhere? They're really beautiful!

- Get changed instead of daydreaming, she says, handing me a jumpsuit. I took the liberty of grabbing some clothes from your wardrobe this morning, she informs me. You need to be comfortable for this kind of activity.

I didn't even notice she took anything. I must have been sleeping soundly to not hear anything. She hands me my gray joggers and a black t-shirt. I feel like I'm back at camp.

- Even here, you're still giving me orders?

- Well, yes. Why would that change? After all, it's up to you if you want bruises.

I've never played paintball, but I've heard that it can hurt if you get shot from too close. Bronze is a regular here, so she must know what she's talking about. I get into a booth without complaining to put on my clothes, then the jumpsuit over them. It's so thick that I wouldn't be surprised if there's a bulletproof vest in there. I finish with shoes that look a lot like the boots I have at school. When I come out, I find Lucy equipped and loading our guns. A smile spreads across my face. I can tell I'm going to have a blast... Who hasn't dreamed of being able to shoot at a teacher at will? It's kind of the same thing here. She's not my teacher, but she's still my superior, my mentor, I'd say.

- Need help? I ask.

- I've got it, don't worry. Yours is ready.

She points to the gun on the bench. I pick it up and check that it's really loaded. You never know, maybe she wanted to cheat! I watch her skillfully load hers. She must come here regularly, it seems. We put on our gloves, and before we leave, she adjusts something on my outfit by zipping up my jumpsuit to my chin.

- It's uncomfortable and I feel suffocated like this, I mumble.

- But it's for safety, so you're going to leave it like that.

I roll my eyes but say nothing. We finally leave the locker room, which she locks, and head to our room right next door. My lips part as I take in the environment. I don't know where to look. This place is just getting better and better! The wall colors are still dark, but the lighting makes the room perfect. Small spotlights illuminate strategic areas without blinding us. We are on a height and can see the many walls covered with artificial foliage. The decoration is a mix between a maze and a battlefield. If there weren't some fluorescent traces on the walls, you'd think we were in a real training camp. The large room is filled with background music. It's just perfect. I follow her down the stairs.

- Well, she pulls me out of my contemplation. We're each going to our side, she points to the two flanks. All hits are allowed, but obviously, avoid the head.

- Okay.

- And also avoid close-range shots. You may not know it, but it hurts like hell, she laughs. We could end up with bruises for a long time otherwise.

- Got it, Bronze.

- Good, she smiles. May the best one win!

I watch her disappear to her side before heading to mine. I try to get my bearings. I don't know this maze, unlike Lucy probably. I try to stay alert as best as I can.

- Damn it! I shout.

I start running to take cover from the first shot I just took. Lucy's laughter echoes in the room. How did she find me so quickly? She just kicked off the festivities! I managed to find a hiding spot behind the fake leaf nets. My hideout is so good that she passes right by me without seeing me. It's funny to watch her search for me while staying on guard. It's clear she's better than me, but I can be sneakier if I want to be. I don't hesitate for a second to press the trigger several times before running away so she won't spot me.

- Well played, she laughs.

The game continues for a good while. We're literally playing cat and mouse. I admit that I'm often the mouse... We're both covered in paint, though she definitely got me more times. I'm jealous of how easily she handles it. She's so skilled at anything that requires endurance and tactics. I'm lying on my stomach, crawling to avoid being noticed. I've continued my trickery, which has successfully countered several of her attacks. She just passed by me without noticing, and I'm currently trying to find her.

- Can you explain what you're doing?

I stop dead in my tracks. I roll onto my back to see her beside me, her gun pointed at me. Damn! She mocks my warrior stance from a second ago.

- I think it's time for you to surrender, she says amused.

- Never!!!

We both start shooting at each other until I run out of paintballs.

- Is this a joke?!

- You see, all the signs are there to say I've won and you should surrender.

- Like I'd give you that satisfaction, I laugh.

I cry out in pain when she shoots me in the thigh from very close. I curse under my breath, dropping my gun to rub my thigh where it hurts.

- Okay, okay, I surrender!

I see Lucy's face change from worry to amusement. We both laugh before she slumps against the wall next to me.

- And you're the one who told me not to shoot from close! I groan.

- Sorry, it just happened, I didn't mean to, she giggles.

- Tell that to someone else, I laugh.

- Are you okay?

- I'll just have a great bruise, but I'm fine.

- I have some ointment in the bag, it'll help.

We look at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter. I'd forgotten what it felt like to have this much fun. It's been a long time since I've smiled like this. We calm down, leaving a relaxing silence. She slumps next to me. There's just music in the background. It was really awesome. I briefly glance at Lucy and notice she's as euphoric as I am. It seems we both needed a moment like this. We forgot all our problems for a moment. I never thought I'd have a moment like this with her.

- Still, it was cheating... You have more training than me and you knew the layouts.

- I agree with the first point, but not the second. Beth changes the room layouts once a week.

- Damn, I thought I had an excuse...

- You did pretty well for a first time, she admits, which pleases me. Next time, we'll make teams with my friends if you want, and I'll show you how to better guard and hide yourself.

- Next time? I say, smiling

- Hmm, yes, why not. If the opportunity arises.

The idea is appealing. It would mean she'd want to spend more time together. I'd love that.

- I'd really like that.

She smiles back at me. We've made significant progress today. I feel her trust, and it's the first time she's suggested meeting her friends. I'd love to do that. Maybe I'll learn more about her true personality. I patiently await the day she'll want to open up to me like a normal person and not as my superior. I hope that moment comes sooner than I think.

- Can I ask you a question? I ask.

- Go ahead.

- It might be inappropriate, but... If one day I get a pass and you do too, could you show me around the city?

10

- Aren't you planning to go back home on your leaves?

- Yes, of course! I want to see my brother, but why not stay here once? I'd like to explore the city. I don't really feel at home in Barcelona anymore, I admitted.

- Do you think you'll like it here?

- I'm not sure. It's not necessarily the place I like, but the people. I said I wouldn't get attached, but I have to many people. Ale, Leah... Even with you or Ingrid, who I've started to find quite nice since the night we talked.

- I see, she smiled. Why not, then? I could host you for a weekend if you want.

- Really?

- Yes, but no one must know.

- I know, like today. I'm not that stupid.

- Well, she said, standing up. I don't know about you, but I'm hungry.

- Oh, yes!

My stomach growls to confirm my hasty response. I pick up my gun that I dropped earlier and get up with difficulty. I'm already dreading the soreness I'll feel tomorrow. We head back to the locker room, where Lucy lends me her famous ointment. I apply it when I'm back in the changing booth and come out wearing my clothes from this morning. Lucy is ready and is folding her jumpsuit.

- So, Ona, where do you want to eat?

- I'm really going to sound like a teenager... But I really want a good McDonald's. Is there one around here?

- Yeah, there's one right across the street.

- Yes!

Lucy helps me fold my jumpsuit properly, and then we head back to the reception area. Beth asks us how it went, and I tell her I'll be back. My answer seems to please her. We wish her a good day before leaving. The fresh air feels great. It was getting warm inside. Lucy wasn't lying when she said there's a McDonald's right across the street. I didn't even notice it when we arrived. So, we walk over. We order our meals, and she insists on paying for me. Actually, she didn't really give me a choice. That's when I realize I didn't pay for the paintball either.

- You don't have to pay for everything. I can afford it.

- Consider today a birthday present, then.

- You're really annoying! I grumbled. You've already given me gifts, and my birthday has long passed.

- Others would be happy in your place.

I grumble as I sit across from her at our table. She hands me my order since we only have one tray.

- Maybe, but I don't like feeling indebted.

- You don't have to feel indebted, it makes me happy.

I sigh, resting my head on my hand. I sulk, looking around for some distraction. There's no shortage of that in a McDonald's because there's always a crowd. Despite it being almost 1:30 p.m., there's still a lot of people in line at the counter. My eyes linger on a young girl who just walked in. She smiled at me right away. I smile back and allow myself to check her out as she continues to the counter. I must say she's quite attractive. I can't really do this kind of thing at camp. Not only are there not many girls to my taste, but I'm also observed by others. It's Lucy's throat clearing that pulls me out of my contemplation. I let go of my gaze to look at her. She has a smile on her lips and one eyebrow raised.

- Do you want me to help you, maybe?

My cheeks instinctively redden. This is what you call being caught red-handed. I wasn't discreet at all, and I feel embarrassed. It's not really like me to check out a girl. I still don't fully accept myself.

- I-... Um, sorry.

- You are way too obvious

- It's not what you think.

My cheeks heat up even more, uncomfortable with the situation. I

- No, sure, you totally weren't eyeing her.

- Shut up! This is getting embarrassing.

- Then own it, she smiled teasingly.

- There's nothing to own.

- Really. Your words make it clear you don't accept yourself.

- No, it's true. I don't, I broke down.

- I understand.

- I doubt it, I scoffed. No one can understand without having lived it.

I lift my head from my hamburger, faced with her telling silence. She continues to eat as if nothing happened.

- No, wait... Don't tell me you're a lesbian?!

- Okay, I won't tell you, she smiled, picking at a fry.

- No way! Seriously?

- Seriously.

She holds back laughter at my shocked expression. I didn't see that coming. I never would have believed it if someone else had told me. How can she say it so easily? To think I always talked about a guy when discussing her ex. She never corrected me. She probably didn't want to reveal too much.

- So, why don't you accept yourself?

- I don't know, I replied, shrugging. I consider myself as a lesbian the problem is I don't like the way people look at me because of it. I'm also scared of the reaction from those close to me... for what's left of them.

- But you already dated girls.

- Yes, obviously! Well, the first one to be honest... was Mapi...

- From what you've told me, you seem to have a good relationship. Why aren't you together anymore?

I sigh, running my hand through my hair. I hesitate. I don't like talking about myself, but even more so when it comes to my love life. On the other hand, she already knows a lot, and she just confided in me too. It makes me want to talk. I take a deep breath and gather my courage to answer her.

- Um, that's complicated too...

- You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to.

- No, no, it's fine... You know, I met Feli... I began, to which she nodded. I was still with Mapi at that time. It didn't take me long to fall into drugs after that. I completely changed and somehow pushed everyone away except Feli since she accompanied me through it all... I ended up cutting off all my relationships, even with Mapi, my family, or my friends. That's how we broke up, and I naturally got together with Feli afterward.

- I see. Do you regret your relationship?

- A little, but I can't blame her. I pushed her away. Besides, she's in a relationship now. I can't afford to ruin everything.

- That makes sense. How did you start talking again?

I hate interrogations, but I can't blame her for being curious. I'm the same way. My hand finds its way to my hair again.

- We have a little ritual... Well, I don't like celebrating my birthday. When she found out, we promised to be the first to wish each other happy birthday, no matter the situation between us. We've never broken that tradition since we met. She was surprised I answered her last year since I hadn't replied to any of her messages for a long time. So she took the opportunity to talk, and that's how she learned I was in a rehab center. When she found out, she wanted to support me, seeing that I wasn't pushing her away anymore.

She just nods, not digging deeper with her questions. I usually hate opening up, but with Lucy, it's different. Everything is easier.

- As for your loved ones, I can't answer that. It's up to you to decide when you're ready to tell them. As for the looks from others... she continues. I know it's not easy. It took me a while to stop caring. Eventually, I realized that no one has the right to judge a stranger. Everyone has the right to do what they want. It's our problem if we prefer girls.

- You're right, but it's hard to face...

- It's just a matter of time, don't worry.

I smile at her. I love how she reassures me in any situation. I also love how attentive she is to what I tell her. She shows me that she cares and will never judge me. That's why I like confiding in her. It's the first time I can do it so easily with someone. Normally, I'm always hesitant. Since my detox, I've realized everything she does for me. I didn't notice it before. I'm starting to trust her. After all, she understood from the beginning that all I needed was a bit of support. She was never intimidated by my attitude, quite the opposite. Even now, she continues to manage me and put me in my place when necessary. I can feel her influence on me. She's completely transforming me. Everyone around me, especially in Barcelona, notices it. Maybe I've finally found the person who will pull me out of all my troubles... The one who will make me feel better and become myself again. The road is still long, but I'm ready to move forward now.

[the-ghost-of-asselus-cancri]

"special gift"

fandom: arcana twilight

characters: summoner (mc) x sirius)

you were wide awake in the middle of the night, too anxious to go back to sleep, yet too tired and exhausted to take a walk in the park behind the mansion to clear your head of any troubling thoughts, buzzing like a cluster of unruly bees in your clouded consciousness.

the image of badly wounded sirius painfully stuck in your tired mind: his black, shimmering hair, usually gracefully styled, now a distorted mess, pieces of his clothes sizzling away from magical burns and his body covered in sharp, deep cuts, scarlet blood and many bruises. a horrible realization suddenly strikes you: spica would actually end his life right then and there, if it weren't for alpheratz's messed up mana flow making him faint in the middle of a fight, practically saving the opposing sorcerer from any repercussions or death itself.

a conflicted mess of emotions, like an overflowing river, made you shiver, as you took a ring, a small gift from sirius from the better times back then, and twiddled with it, the bright stone reminiscent of his ever changing eyes, mysteriously shining in the moon light. you wondered how sirius faired in this trying times: was he alone in this plan, healing his injuries by himself, or were there other ones in on it, scheming behind the shsdows? you put in on your finger, cold metal unpleasanttly grounding you back in reality, yet making you feel nostalgic despite everything that happened.

you opened your stella tab and decided to see if another one of his burner magical tabs was on. since sirius was wanted by the law, it was almost an every day occurrence that he changed his number constantly, his old stella tab presumably broken, as to avoid any possible meanings of easy traction. he admitted jokingly that sending you pigeon letters would be a better, safer alternative, and you almost suggested doing just that, until he laughed out loud at your determined expression in response to a half hearted sarcastic one liner.

"hey, you up?" you learnt not to question sirius about whatever this oath of his was, because somewhere deep inside you knew that he would never give you a proper answer, until the right time comes around.

"you shouldn't be up this late, summoner. is something bothering you?" you smiled, though it was bitter sweet, and wanted to type out "yes, you" but restrained yourself, not wanting this conversation to become an another pointless interrogation.

"what's with the stone in the ring you've given me?"

"it doesn't suit your taste in jewelry?"

"no, it's not that! does it have any meaning behind it?"

"oh, so the summoner wants my gift to be special, huh? never took you as a sentimental person."

"stop teasing me, sirius! just answer the question, or I'm going back to sleep"

"sorry, sorry, my fault, I shall tease you no more. in fact, I'm glad you asked, since this particular stone, opal, does, in fact, have a special meaning. it's my birthstone, would you believe it? it usually represents hope and, well, good karma, though I don't think these qualities suit me very well, you, on the other hand... you're like a guiding light to me, summoner, and i hope you will shine blidingly for me until the very end"

"is this one of your plays again?"

"so you think a man on the run has nothing better to do than to write a dramatic play? I'm just kidding, though I meant it, summoner, every word. this text conversation is making me miss you. I'm sorry it had to turn out this way, I really am. please stay away from the other towers, reject spica's insane ideas, if you must. stay safe, (_) "

"you too, sirius"

"I miss you"

"I know"

[gundamthey17]

Day 2 of Payneland Promptfest 2024

I know I'm a month late, but December ended up being a hell of a month. I do still intend to write all 7 prompts, so hopefully people aren't totally sick of holiday-themed stories yet. (It's still the holidays, right? lol)

Day 2: frostbite | “How did you even find this?” | getting dressed up

“Crystal!” Charles said excitedly.

“Gah!” Crystal jumped. “Don't startle me like that! You do know it's early, don't you?”

“No, I didn't. I don't sleep,” he replied. Unbothered, he barrelled on. “Have you heard of ugly Christmas jumpers? Or, wait, what do you call them? Sweaters? Ugly Christmas sweaters.”

“Yes, Charles, I've heard of them. What about them?”

“I just saw someone wearing one. They were big in the eighties. I can't believe they're still popular!”

“I don't know about still. More like again.”

“Do you know where to get them?”

“Uh… lots of places. Thrift stores probably have the best ones.”

“Can we go?”

“You want to go shopping. For ugly Christmas sweaters.”

“Yeah! It'll be brills!”

Crystal yawned and shrugged. “Fine by me, I guess.” It wasn't as if she'd had any other plans for the day.

“Great! You get Niko, and I'll get Edwin.”

A short time later, Charles was following Crystal into a thrift store, practically bouncing with excitement. Niko and Edwin were close behind.

Sure enough, the first clothing rack they saw was full of Christmas jumpers. 

“Ooh, what about this one?” said Niko, holding up a particularly garish jumper for Edwin to see.

Edwin frowned, unsure how to respond. “Um… it's…”

“It's mint, Niko!” said Charles. “I think I see some more jumpers over there.”

The next hour was a blur of Christmas jumpers, laughter, and (generally) good-natured teasing as the quartet each picked out a suitable option.

Charles found his jumper almost immediately. He spotted it from across the store, and his eyes lit up. “No way! Brills!” He practically sprinted over to it, leaving Edwin and the girls to follow at a more reasonable pace.

Edwin frowned again as Charles held up the jumper. It was mostly black and green, with some red details here and there. The central image was of a classic-white-sheet sort of ghost, with a red ‘no’ symbol over it. The bottom hem had an alternating pattern of Christmas trees and… some sort of squarish white smiling face wearing a hat. “Why does it say no ghosts?”

Charles sighed dramatically, running a hand over his face. “It’s Ghostbusters, mate. You’ve literally seen the films! This is their logo!”

“Ah, yes, I remember. What has it got to do with Christmas?” To his credit, Edwin seemed to genuinely be trying to make sense of the ugly Christmas jumper tradition.

Charles shrugged. “It was Christmas in the second one. But it doesn’t really matter. It’s in the style of a Christmas jumper. That’s the important bit.”

“If you say so,” Edwin replied, sounding thoroughly unconvinced.

Charles handed the jumper to Crystal, who glanced at the tag. “This is a double extra large. Are you sure you want this one? It’s not gonna fit you.”

“It’ll be fine!”

“Okay. You do you, I guess.”

Crystal had started out somewhat skeptical of the whole endeavor, but her mood had brightened considerably when she found a jumper that depicted the Grinch giving two middle fingers. She wordlessly draped the jumper over her arm and continued to peruse the rack, half-listening as Charles explained the Grinch to Edwin. Crystal didn’t have the patience to explain every pop culture reference, but Charles, for his part, didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he seemed to enjoy it.

“Right, so there’s this book, and this guy, the Grinch, absolutely hates Christmas…”

Niko insisted on scouring the entire store before she settled on a jumper. The one she picked featured a large Christmas tree in the center, and was covered in a dizzying array of baubles, garland, pompoms, and candy canes.

“That’s great!” Charles said.

“That’s… something,” Crystal added.

“It’s perfect,” declared Niko, and that was that.

Edwin, to no one’s surprise, ended up having the hardest time finding a jumper that suited him. Early on, he located a knitted blue and white jumper with a pattern of snowflakes across the chest and hem. He held it up hopefully, but Charles shook his head.

“Nah, mate, they’re supposed to be ugly Christmas jumpers.”

“I dunno,” Crystal muttered loudly to Niko, “the grandpa vibes are pretty strong with that one.”

“Given that I am likely older than your grandfather, I am not at all offended by that.”

Crystal ignored him, rummaging around in a pile of jumpers, until she smirked and held one up. “I found the perfect sweater for you, Edwin!”

Edwin turned, and his expression soured as he took in the picture of a fat, grumpy-looking cat, wearing a Santa hat and wrapped in Christmas lights, above the words ‘On The Naughty List’. “Absolutely not.”

As time went on, Crystal grew more and more impatient. “You know what your problem is?” she asked eventually. Edwin opened his mouth, but she continued. “I don’t think you have enough Christmas cheer.”

“I am plenty cheerful,” Edwin replied indignantly.

“Oh yeah?” Crystal grabbed a Santa hat from a display. “Prove it. Wear this.” Without waiting for a response, she reached up and perched the hat on Edwin’s head.

Edwin stiffened like a cat being forced to wear a strange costume.

Crystal snickered. Edwin looked to Charles for help, but Charles merely flashed him a cheeky grin, all crinkled nose and bright teeth. 

Niko looked around to see if anyone was watching them. Luckily, the shop was nearly empty. “Does that just look like a floating Santa hat right now?” she asked quietly.

“Most likely,” Edwin replied, snapping out of it. He quickly pulled the hat off his head and handed it back to Crystal.

Charles and Crystal both offered up several more jumpers, but Edwin rejected all of them. 

Suddenly, Niko’s eyes went wide. “I know!” she said, and without another word, hurried away to a back corner of the shop.

Edwin caught Charles’s eye, but Charles just shrugged.

Niko returned a moment later, holding a jumper that was somewhat similar to the one she had picked out for herself. It was red and had a large tree in the center, but where hers was covered in baubles and garland, this one only had lights.

Edwin kept his expression neutral as he said, “I’m… not sure that –”

“Wait! You have to see the best part!” Niko reached inside the jumper and did - something, and suddenly the lights on the tree began to glow and blink.

Edwin’s expression transformed into one of awe. “How… how does it do that?”

“Batteries! See?” Turning the hem inside out, Niko showed him a small, white box with a button on it, which was cleverly concealed inside the jumper.

“Good job, Niko,” Charles said. He smiled and put one arm around Edwin’s shoulders. “I knew we’d find you one.”

They made their way to the front of the store, where Crystal paid for the jumpers, and then they stepped out into the cold December day.

They waited until they were back in their makeshift office to put on the jumpers. Edwin grabbed his and Charles’s.

“Wait, so any normal clothes can become ghost clothes?” Crystal asked.

“Not exactly. There is a complex magical process that must take place, wherein –”

“Literally no one cares.”

Edwin looked so affronted that Charles actually felt bad for him. He leaned over and whispered, “I care. You can explain it to me later.”

“I have explained it to you before!”

“Yeah, well, this time I’ll listen, won’t I?” Charles replied with a grin.

The “complex magical process” turned out to be the boys just putting the clothes on, though Edwin insisted there was more to it than that.

“If you could just put them on and they vanish, why didn't you do that in the store?” Crystal asked.

“That would be stealing!” Edwin replied. He felt around the hem of his jumper for the mechanism Niko had shown him, and pressed the button. The lights on the Christmas tree blinked to life. Edwin smiled, looking relieved. “I was not sure that was going to work once the jumper ceased to be tangible. It seems it has successfully retained its properties. Though I do wonder about the batteries…” He trailed off as he caught sight of Charles.

The Ghostbusters jumper seemed to swallow most of his lithe frame. It nearly reached his knees, and the sleeves completely covered his hands. He was grinning from ear to ear. “Too-big jumpers are the best,” he was saying, to no one in particular. “It’s like being in a big, warm hug.” He flapped the sleeves for emphasis.

The sight caused a fluttering sensation in Edwin’s stomach. Without thinking, he leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to the corner of Charles’s mouth. He immediately drew back with a gasp, phantom heat rushing to his cheeks in an invisible blush as he realized Crystal and Niko were still right there. Before he could stammer an apology – to Charles? to the girls? – Charles closed the distance between them and looped his arms around Edwin’s neck.

“So, what do you think of ugly Christmas jumpers? Pretty brills tradition, innit?”

“I… am beginning to understand it now.”

Niko tugged on Crystal’s arm, and the two quietly left the room as Charles leaned in to kiss Edwin properly.

[amourdivine]

𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐄'𝐒 𝐃𝐀𝐘 ઉ   pick a card

Hello, lovelies. I hope you're doing really well this Valentines season and if not, I'm sending you some big hugs! Today, I bring to you a more general-style type of reading. Let's look into how this person views you, shall we? If you liked this reading, please consider tipping me at @ amourdivinetarot@gmail.com! xo ♡

paid readings are closed as of february 2024

none of the images are mine unless stated otherwise!

pick a card masterlist & information

how to choose your pile.  take a few deep breaths for and look at each and of the piles separately. see which one brings you to a feeling, a place or a memory. take your time and feel free to come back to it later!

amourdivine | 2021 - 2024 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

୨୧ PILE ONE

knight of swords ✧ the sun ✧ king of pentacles ✧ five of cups ✧ five of wands

This pile feels like you're either in a new relationship or some kind of situationship. Take what resonates for you! Honestly, from what the cards tell me, it will be a little chaotic, rushed and different from what you expected. It's nothing bad, but you may feel like you or your Valentine didn't plan it in its entirety. There may be too many unpredictable events.

You'll have fun, surely. It seems like you may go some place very beautiful and expensive, but it may not fulfill yours or your partner's expectations. I think either one of you may feel really upset about it, like a date gone wrong or maybe some sort of petty argument takes place instead of enjoying one another's company. Like I said, I don't think it'll be necessarily awful, it feels more like a series of unfortunate events taking place and not going according to plan.

If it's an expensive restaurant, you may find the food kind of sucks or, alternatively, if it's a carnival ride, it may rain and you might have to cancel it. Or- maybe your partner gets called at work and you can't spend it together.

There's a feeling of crying over spilled milk, of a lost opportunity. However, this day will highlight what's really important to the both of you - the relationship or perfection? I think both of you will have to weigh in and find a solution or some kind of compromise. It's an opportunity for the both of you to truly prioritize each other and pursue happiness.

୨୧ PILE TWO

three of pentacles ✧ knight of pentacles ✧ three of cups ✧ the tower ✧ ten of swords

I don't see a lot of romance here, pile two! I don't think it's what you're looking for. You look like you're someone who's recently single and ready to mingle. It's likely you're approaching relationships from a more practical and slower pace, scared to rush into anything after someone broke your heart really badly.

Either you'll work and enjoy the day with your work colleagues (I see people eating candy and treating themselves to all the pink food in the world) or you'll spend it with your friends, partying, going out and clubbing, mayhaps? You seem more focused on your career and friendships than love right now. That's okay! You'll have so much fun, just be mindful of excesses and remember to treat you body kindly.

I don't see you interested in anyone either. I get the feeling you might reject potential suitors over being heartbroken, emotionally unavailable or just... focused on yourself right now. This pile has more of a #girl boss feeling, but not in a bad way or anything. I feel a lot of Earth placements - Capricorn and Virgo standing out the most. It's okay to have high standards, pile two. You don't have to set the bar low just because other people have nothing to bring to the table. Good for you!

୨୧ PILE THREE

ace of wands ✧ ace of cups ✧ page of cups ✧ nine of pentacles ✧ seven of swords

This pile almost screams "self care" to me. The term could signify wildly different things to each of you, but I see someone planning and enjoying a relaxing, self-indulgent day ahead. Lots of facial mascara, skin treatments, maybe a mini spa day for yourself. You're replenishing your energy this Valentine's day and tuning into yourself, calling your vitality and strength back to you.

You may buy yourself flowers, spoil yourself with an expensive perfume, maybe makeup products or something you've had your eyes on for a while. There's a luxurious feel to it, a feeling of peace and calm. You may spend it somewhere nice - like a nice hotel room or maybe near a body of water, somewhere beautiful and expensive.

This pile feels very independent, but open to love. I think you're sort of.. preparing your life to accommodate love in it. Most, if not all people from this pile are single, but I think you are in a place where you feel ready, with a stable sense of self and in a fruitful phase for a new, loving relationship. I also feel some of you may be polyamorous, for some reason.

It's a very self-loving energy here regardless. I smell roses and chocolate, nice candy, jewelry and I see someone dressing up solely for themselves, putting makeup or perfume on to look and feel good for themselves.

୨୧ PILE FOUR

page of cups ✧ the empress ✧ eight of pentacles ✧ three of pentacles ✧ six of pentacles

You're celebrating love in all of its forms, pile four. This is the only pile where I feel that your relationship status doesn't really matter as much. It's gonna vary very wildly for most of you, but the underlying theme is the same: making room for all relationships to flourish in your life.

I see someone texting their friends, family and loved ones wishing them a happy Valentine's Day. It's quite loving, lighthearted and carefree. You'll also feel the love around you. It gives me Disney princess vibes, when they sing or dance around town and everyone seems enchanted by it, lol. It's very cute!

Maybe you're not really focused on romance or you just love love in all its forms and it seems like it's coming back to you tenfold. I could see someone strolling around town with a big smile plastered on their face. You will likely celebrate in small, but meaningful ways. I don't see partying here per se, but you may grab coffee with your friends or enjoy a heartshaped muffin. Valentine's Day is everyone else's excuse to wear and use all things pink, and I can see you doing that too.

There's a prominent Venusian feeling with the Empress here, like being in love with life and taking this day as another moment to remind the people around you how much they matter to you. You may even give or receive cute Valentine's Day cards.

amourdivine | 2021 - 2024 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

[felmonth]

Has tom or any of his friends killed someone in cold blood 😈

[sorry I just really like cold murder cases.....and love your art style]

Haha, thank you!! it makes me laugh when you guys ask random questions like this xD

But no, Tom is designed to be a pumpkin pie, a character that despite the bad things in his life is someone good, although that would be so if I knew how to write character stories , I have yet to fix Tom's problem with his brother hshdjks XD

Although there are alternate universes in which it probably is and I suspect they are:

Information that nobody asked for but I want to tell because it occurred to me recently:

I was thinking Mob Tom was an undercover reporter who went in to investigate where he shouldn't and meets Wally, becoming punishment part of Wally's family although it still doesn't stop him from wanting to get away from there, he gets information out of Howdy as they become friends and....I have for the moment from Mob.

And Reboot Tom I want to put into practice the platonic relationships more in depth, Tom and Wally in this Au are friends but I have in mind that Wally being in love with Y/N leaves aside his friends so I want to try to make a comic where I can make people understand that a friend is also important and that you don't have to abandon him just like that just for having a partner (where I work is something recurrent in people so I find it interesting to write it).

And well Tom is 'bad' in collaborating with Monday as they both throw comments towards Y/N but with things happening, in the end Tom becomes friends with Y/N apologizing to everything and Wally obviously because I don't want Tom to be bad because of "jealousy".

[wixenforever]

Burning of the Library Deleted Scenes Pt 1.

I have so much written that either gets removed and saved for later or, in the case of this scene, will never fit in the story again because the plot and setting went in a different direction. But, I love this scene. Like, so much. This is from an alternative beginning to Chapter 21.

I figure I may as well breathe some life into these scenes I really liked by putting them here! This one came to mind today because I'm considering a moment with Sirius's patronus in the next chapter but I can't decide if it will make the final cut...🙃

Setting note: in this version of events, Theo and Harry go to Sirius's room to ask for his blessing to take Theo to Gringotts for a wand. Remus is helping Sirius clean out his old bedroom. Theo has just learned the truth about John's identity and is reflecting on all the spooky creatures like John that go bump in the night.

Theo caught his tongue between his teeth and shook his head. "John just reminded me of everything I used to have that protected me from the things I should be scared of," he said, with less venom. "That's also why I want to go to my vault. It'd be nice to have something of mine that's...actually mine."

"Oh! I didn't realize you practiced the old ways." The springs squeaked as Sirius sat on the bed. "If you want a salt candle or something like that, I can get one for you."

Harry had no clue what Sirius was talking about, but Theo looked floored by the offer. His blue eyes widened, "I would, but, won't that offend John?"

"Huh..." Sirius clicked his tongue and looked to Remus. "What say you, o defense expert? Can you think of something that's non-offensive to the fae? No salt, no iron. Maybe..."

"Clover," Theo suggested, crossing his arms. He was starting to shiver. "Actually, a clear quartz would be great. I can bless it myself."

"I don't know old magic like that," Remus admitted, when Sirius kept looking at him. "Maybe there's a book in the library that could help."

Harry edged closer to Theo, "What are you talking about?"

Theo smiled, and for the first time that morning he seemed a little bit normal. "Old style magic refers to...looking at magic in a spiritual way, I suppose. The kind of magic that's done without wands, passed down from verbally over many generations." Harry waited, but Theo seemed to be uncharacteristically lost for words. His hand came up, clutching near his throat. "I used to have a lot of different...amulets, I guess you'd call them? Trinkets. Little pieces of magic that did different things, or had different charms woven into them."

"And you make them yourself?" Harry asked curiously.

"Yes, or my mother did," Theo said quietly. "Even my father made some for me."

It was as if all the air was sucked from the room. Theo continued looking off to the side, tracing the divot at the bottom of his throat. "She always said they were supposed to be temporary, made to be used," he sighed, "but I had one that I wore around my neck. It was called an echo stone. Made from a boulder at the bottom of the loch. It could make you feel like you were underwater. My dad made it for me." Theo rubbed his jaw, as if embarrassed.

"Really?" Harry prompted, hoping that Theo would keep talking. "That's so cool."

Theo cleared his throat. "It's the same style of magic as this," he said, closing the distance between them and reaching out to lightly touch Harry's earring. His cold fingers brushed against his earlobe. "Or this," he pointed at Harry's ring. "Just a little less refined. Old style magic lives on in mage rings and covens, druids and standing stones. The magic of the wild." He put a little mystique into his voice and winked.

Harry stared into Theo's eyes and felt like he'd been doused in ice-cold water. Goosebumps crawled over his skin.

"Why don't we learn about this kind of magic?" he said breathlessly.

Theo's smirk only grew, "It's a secret, Harry. Don't you know they call it dark magic for that reason?"

"Oh, I see," Remus interrupted lightly, startling Harry. He'd forgotten they weren't alone in the room. "You're the one who's corrupted Harry with dark magic."

Theo threw his head back and laughed, "Me? He's the one who asks all these questions."

"He does ask a lot of questions," Remus nodded gravely. "I sympathize with you. Harry forced me to teach him the patronus charm at thirteen, if you can believe that."

"What?"

Harry hunched his shoulders, mortified that all their attention was now on him, and even more annoyed by the weirdly amused expression on his godfather's face. But Theo would not be avoided, he ducked down so they were eye-to-eye. "You learned that at thirteen? I just assumed it was something you learned how to do for the Tournament! Fourteen is still young, but third year?!"

"Yeah, don't you remember when I hit Malfoy with it on the Quidditch pitch?" Harry asked snarkily. "He was pretending to be a dementor. It wasn't corporeal yet, but almost."

Theo furrowed his brow. "You really think that everyone knows everything about you, Mr. Boy Who Lived?"

"What? No!" Harry's voice squeaked embarrassingly. He felt himself turn bright red and wanted melt into the floor. "You're his best mate, aren't you? Wouldn't you know that?"

Theo smirked and flicked his nose, drawing another noise from Harry's throat that he was certain he should not be making, having long grown out of his voice cracking. "Just assume I don't remember anything from third year, for future reference."

"How does it feel to be so smart your can just sleep through all your classes?" Harry sneered, trying to gain some upper ground again. Theo just laughed at him.

"I do terribly in charms, honestly," he shrugged, leaning against Sirius's bed. "I could never do a patronus."

In a flash Harry remembered something Remus said to him when he was learning, that dark wizards had a hard time with the charm, or couldn't do it at all. He decided, right there, that he was going to make sure that Theo could cast it one day.

"It's a devil to learn," Harry said, deciding to keep his plan to himself for now. "Even harder to cast successfully near dementors. I wouldn't have set my mind to learn it if they didn't affect me so badly."

"Hmm," Theo wrapped his arms around himself again. "What is it?"

"A big stag."

"A big stag?" Theo repeated, raising his eyebrows, "Is the size important?"

Something about the way he said it completely froze Harry's tongue. He gaped wordlessly, too red and too stunned to do anything but watch Theo's face flicker with amusement until finally he started laughing, covering his mouth.

"You're too easy, Potter," Theo jeered. "Are your friends really that straight-laced? You won't last two minutes with Blaise. Oh, god," he dropped his face into his hands and repeated, "you won't last two minutes with Blaise."

Sirius thunked to the floor, clutching his stomach and laughing so hard tears were streaming down his face, only they couldn't actually hear anything. Remus sighed and twirled his wand, "I silenced him. He's unbearable."

"You're both unbearable!" Harry said, pointing at Theo and his traitorous godfather. "You're both as bad as John!" He gasped, looking at Theo in horror, "You're just like John, come to think of it!"

"You have excellent taste in companions," Theo returned easily.

[cyberrose2001]

TFP Optimus x human!fem!reader

"ROSE I'M FREAKING OUT AAA I LOVE YOUR WRITING!! I am currently watching Prime so reading your Optimus fluff made my heart skip a beat! May I ask for more Optimus x reader (in a female perspective) fluff, and in a common situation like preparing for something humanly important (a ball perhaps)?? I don't got too many ideas but I would love to read anything coming from you! Please stay well 🌹❤️" - requested by @weaksall

Thank you so much!! This was such a cute idea! I found this amazing dress that I think is just gorgeous for this fic -> https://www.pinterest.com.au/pin/706713366535507663/

I also didn't specify any hairstyles too because not everyone has long hair that they can style <3 I hope this is satisfactory!! 💕

Warnings: None! Just fluff

Word count: 1618

Today is a rather important day for you. Your work is hosting a gala ball to raise money for charity, and you are required to attend. You had never been to a ball and the thought of picking out grand outfits to wear and accessories has always excited you. Miko, of course, wanted to help you go shopping at the small selection of boutiques that Jasper has to offer. She may be into the alternative type of fashion, but the young girl has a passion for all types.

“Oh! What about this one, (Y/n)?” Miko drags you by the arm towards yet another boutique. You almost stumble as the stacks of boxes you’re holding pretty much blind your vision.

“Miko!” You laugh, “I think I have enough dresses to last me the rest of my life.”

“Oh, come on! You never know when you need…” She pauses to count the boxes in your hand, “Four, five…. eight outfits!”

You roll your eyes as you let her drag you into the boutique. Looking around, you don’t see anything that catches your eye. However, Miko is practically running around the joint pointing at different dresses and sending your mind for a spin.

“Miko, let’s just go.” It was your turn to drag her through the shop, as much as you love her, if you spent another hour dress shopping with her you were sure you would lose whatever brain cells you had left.

Before you could drag a sad Miko out the door, you spotted a gorgeous navy-blue ball gown that sparkled like the night sky. It had a heart shaped neckline with lace trimmings around the edges that tapered off to create a small off the shoulder sleeves. And by the all spark, you had to have it.

Miko followed your eyes towards the gown, and she grinned, “Do you want to try it out?”

-

It had been a week since Miko accompanied you to the boutiques and today was the gala ball. You had set up a small makeup station in the human area of the base, Miko of course going through it all trying to find the best shades of eyeshadows and lipsticks to use and making a mess.

“Alright, (Y/n),” Miko held out two sticks of lipsticks, “Purple or blue? Oh! What about GLITTER? OR- “

You wished you could rub your eyes in frustration, but you didn’t want to ruin your foundation, “Miko, sweetheart, how about a nice neutral shade? It’s a gala not a drag show.”

Miko dramatically tosses the lipsticks back into the makeup bag, “Yeah but you would look so cool!”

As you were applying your contour, blush and the colours of the eyeshadows that Miko picked out for you (they were colours you liked thank goodness), Optimus Prime had walked over towards the human area, curious about the commotion.

“(Y/n),” He looks around at all the different things that are scattered around on the floor, “May I ask what this is all for?”

You froze. You had not expected the boss bot himself to ask about makeup, Arcee maybe, but not Optimus. It doesn’t help the fact that you have been in love with Optimus since you first met him, but the way his eyes fill with curiosity as he asks the question warms your heart a little bit. You exhaled and placed the makeup brush you held in your hand down.

“Today is a really important event for my job, they’re hosting a huge charity gala to raise money to help sick kids.” You explained as best as you could to the bot, but you could read his face and tell that he was still a little bit confused.

“A… gala?” He raises an optic ridge.

“Yeah, it’s like a really fancy party.” You smiled, “You get to wear nice clothes, socialise with other people and- “

“And there’s LOTS of fancy food!” Miko butted in, “I’m talkin’ seafood, barbeques and sooooo many desserts…”

Optimus glances towards the young girl, then back to you.

“So, this gala,” He begins, “It is a culturally significant gathering for humans?”

You nod your head, picking up the makeup brush again, “Yeah, it’s a way for humans to come together for a cause, or just to have fun and make friends!”

Optimus hums and that makes you seem to think that he is satisfied with your answer. He watches as you delicately swivel the brush over your eyelids, admiring the movement of your hands. Your focus may be on the mirror, but you can feel his eyes on you.

“You mentioned nice clothes,” Optimus says, “Are you planning to wear something… ‘fancy’?”

“You don’t get to see that yet!” Miko perks up, she then grabs two lipsticks and holds them out to Optimus. “But you can help (Y/n) pick a lipstick colour, she doesn’t like MY choices."

You can feel your face heat up as you watch Optimus’s optics flicker between the two lipsticks with a raised optical ridge. You really do hope that Miko knows what she is doing.

-

It was noon, you and Miko had just finished the last touches and adjustments to your gown. You had brought a large mirror to the base so you can fully see yourself in the reflection, safe to say that you looked like a literal princess. Miko jumps up and down as she admires her work.

“(Y/n)!! You look so beautiful!” Miko squeals as she pulls you into a hug.

“Thank you, Miko.” You laugh at her energy, hugging her back. One would think that you were getting married by the way she reacts to you.

“I can’t wait to see what Optimus thinks of you.” She grins. You pull her out of the hug and give her a confused look.

“What do you mean?” Your heart is racing fast, “Why would Optimus care about how I look?”

Miko gives you a dead-panned stare, dropping her arms to the side, “Are you kidding me? Have you seen the way he looks at you, (Y/n)?”

Of course you have, but you’ve always thought that those were a different kind of stare, not because he… likes you.

“No," You lied, staring at yourself in the mirror again, “Even if he did, I doubt that he would have time for me, he is the leader of the Autobots… he has enough on his plate as it is.”

Miko rolls her eyes and leans against you, “Don’t sell yourself short, he is gonna faint when he sees you.”

She then takes your hand, dragging you out of the room, “Come on, it’s nearly time to leave anyway.”

You let her drag you out, what Miko said is now engraved into your brain and is now on a constant replay. Have you seen the way he looks at you?

Whilst you were distracted by the thoughts in your head, Miko had stopped you just before the door to the main area of the base, “Wait here, I’m gonna go and make sure that everyone is ready.”

“Ready for what?” You tried to question her, but she shushed you as she ran off. You’re awkwardly standing there now, occasionally fluffing your gown. You haven’t the slightest clue on what she is up to.

A few moments later, Miko calls out, “Ok (Y/n), come out now!”

You take a deep breath as you walk out, holding you gown to keep it from dragging on the floor. Your heart is practically jumping out of your chest.

You walk out to a crowd consisting off all of team prime, some are stunned to silence, and some are cooing and gushing about how beautiful you look. You decided to give yourself a boost of confidence and give them a twirl, the base of the gown flaring out as you do so.

“Wow, you clean up real good, kid.” Wheeljack nods with folded arms. Bumblebee and Bulkhead (with Miko perched on his shoulder) are practically swooning, Arcee is admiring your hair and makeup, Smokescreen is telling you how amazing you look, and Ratchet is scoffing about how silly this all is, but secretly he thinks that you look nice. Jack and Raf are also enamoured.

Optimus, however, is simply stunned to silence. His dermas slightly agape and a blue hue ever so slightly creeps onto his face. He loves the way the gown flows and the small intricate details on your torso, and he thinks the colour of the dress suits you perfectly. The lipstick he picked out for you was a classic red lip with a slight tinge of purple. And he now understands why humans were obsessed with the stuff; he could not stop staring.

You shyly thanked everyone for the compliments and noticed that Optimus had stepped closer to you and leaned down. You stiffen up a little bit as he held out a servo towards you, he touches the dress very gently.

“You look absolutely exquisite, (Y/n).” Optimus says, optics now staring into your eyes. Your cheeks flush at his words. You then gently took the digit that was toying with your gown and gave it a hug.

“Thank you, Optimus.” You smiled, you were sure that he could feel your heartbeat against his servo, “Do you think the lip colour ties it all together?”

His face flushed as you winked at him and then he smiled, knowing that he was the one that picked it out, “Indeed.”

Off to the side out of view while you and Optimus are sharing a sweet moment, Miko is holding out her hand so that a defeated Bulkhead can hand her an imaginary dollar bill, “Told ya he had the hots for her.”

[himbochub]

I'm only a small fat so ymmv, but some size/fat related things I experienced regarding top surgery:

If you're someone whose belly gets in the way as you're moving from lying to sitting or sitting to standing, it can be helpful to have either more core strength so you don't have to use your arms to help move your torso, or have your post-surgery support carer/s there to help give you a boost when sitting up. (I guess that applies to everybody but still..)

If reaching while toileting and showering can be difficult before surgery, the difficulty defo multiplies during recovery (especially showering), so it's super helpful to plan ahead with any equipment like long-handled scrubbers and a shower bench, as well as making a plan with your support system for any hands-on assistance they can provide.

I didn't think about this ahead of time, but I used a friend's mastectomy pillow during recovery which was WAY more helpful than I thought it was going to be, however, the part of the pillow that goes under the arms didn't really make it all the way under my arms as much as it's supposed to because I'm wider than the pillow was made for. I don't even know if they make plus-size mastectomy pillows honestly, but if you're thinking of getting one, in my experience it would be worth trying to find a wider option than the standard size!

My nurse also told me a hot tip for if the lower band your compression binder bites into your upper belly: if it's the kind with an elastic band around your ribcage area, you can take off the binder, fold the band hot-dog style, and take some scissors and snip a little half-inch hole in the middle of the band (i.e., not cutting through the bottom or top of the elastic, just putting a hole in it basically). You can add more than one hole, too. Gives the band some much-needed slack without taking the compression off your chest!

If you're not going to have someone to cook for you, prep ahead as much as you can with microwavable foods that don't require you to hold something while you're eating or keep lifting a utensil a lot (like soup was a no for me for both these reasons even though I thought it was going to be like the go-to option!) Planning ahead means you don't have to think about food when your mind and body are both, in my case anyway, completely obliterated.

I sweat A LOT and after surgery it was even more so because no deoderant. If sweat/moisture management and roll care are part of your current hygiene needs/routine, might be worth practicing through the motions as if you've just had surgery ahead of time to try to anticipate what parts of that routine you may need help with. If you use hygiene products for roll care in the area getting surgery it might also be worth consulting with your surgeon about if/when you can resume using those or alternative products.

And lastly, another thing I didn't think about ahead of time is that side rolls/side boob fat are in the Surgery Zone, so they factor into your surgery results and goals, too. I was lucky that even though my surgeon and I didn't talk about it, she left me a nice portion of side chest roll, but I imagine that there are surgeons out there who may just assume you want the side fat gone. Could be good to make sure you and your surgeon are on the same page about what you want, whatever that might look like!

And unrelated but I skipped getting bendy straws because I was like "whatever, I have regular straws at home already, it's fine" - get the bendy straws, SO much easier, give yourself that gift

Good luck!!

THANK YOUUU omg! posting again for those who might need it but will def be referencing!!

[farmersfieldwolf]

Hello! I saw what you rebloged soooooo genuine question, why is your narinder naked?

I'm sorry if it has already been answered before and I don't mean it to sound mean I'm just genuinely curious. I have to admit every time you upload a chapter on ao3 and I imagine the characters interacting, narinder is always naked because I just imagine him in your art style.

tbh i am just really bad at drawing clothes so i have always just draw naked things so he's naked, i mean the lamb is too they just also have a cape

i also have this problem because i imagine them naked now cause that's how i drew them YOU ARE NOT ALONE LOLOLOL

let go diiiigiiiiiing;

this would be closer to what i usually draw- it's been a long time since i have really thought about drawing like a consistent character. i should practice drawing clothing but rn i was more interested in just drawing things and didn't want to get wrapped up in being like 'ew that looks too blobby'

me drawing clothes is mostly like this, and on a more complicated character i have to try harder than just adding the vibe of clothe

i did give him clothes at one point, i need to finish the animatic but hand still hurty;

IT JUST MAKES HIS NAKEDNESS A LOT MORE APPARENT IF I DO NOW- which like is silly but i kind of backed myself into a corner. there are drawing of him in clothes and i Do Not Like Them At All and is from before either he or the lamb had like a look? anything that was distinctly them? and he's already pretty generic and is kind of becoming a shape moreso than anything else lololol

like i can, but it takes a lot more effort and thought and research and time. i am a big like... do what it is you wanna do in the moment philosophy for art. since this is also all fan work i see it as mostly just hanging out and doodling for fun

i unno what i am doing 99% of the time anyways, but drawing clothes has always made me very frustrated. but if he wore clothes the vibe would be;

he's still kind of in his 'i have to be presentable' era but becomes a comfort gremlin pretty quickly. he just wanna be comfy

in my mind he wears a lot of modern stuff which doesn't quite fit the time period, but alternating compression and very loose fitting clothing depending on where it is on his body and how painful his arms are. there's an au of an au of an oc there inside him, living it up in a modern world being a sad cryptid concrete ghost- and if that version exists and i get back to monster game i'll practice clothing so serial-numbers-sanded-off-definitnely-not-narinder will not be naked

tyty for asking me a thing i like babbling :D

[kozachenko]

I RETURN BEARING DOODLES OF ZE KEIK!

Hello again! :D I felt like drawing Keiki because I had nothing else to do and I also wanted to draw Keiki again because C R E A T E !

{Artists Note}:

So I had some ideas bouncing around for how I wanted to draw Keiki, and the first time I went with a more robotic look that was inspired by BoTW. I also wanted an excuse to try out some stuff with collages, and so I used an 1800s drawing of a skeleton to put this together. I added a face and a head just for fun, but tbh I wasn't 100% happy with it even though I did like how it looked. I might wanna save the BoTW inspired parts for a future Okina design as I think the constellation motiffe some BoTW Sheikah stuff has fits her more (and I have adopted the headcanon that she has prosthetics, I love it so much).

Like ok, context for this is headcanons. So as I mentioned in my post about Eirin, I wanted to play around with the visual idea of gods in Touhou being very much related to what they're gods of.

So at first with Keiki I tried just making her look like a haniwa herself, but I ended up not going with that as I like the idea of her being distinguishable from the Haniwa she creates. So instead, I ended up going with a more cyberpunk aesthetic for her, inspired in part by Cyberpunk Edgerunners (no spoilers plz, I haven't finished it yet). It's also the reason why I did an alternative cyberpunk outfit for her (inspired by a dress I found on Pinterest).

I feel like the hardest things about drawing Keiki are her dress and hair bandanna. In the image above with her normal outfit, I had a lot of struggle with the sleeves, and I couldn't really get her hair bandanna right. In the faces I drew of her I had a slightly easier time, but still, it's hard to get it to look right. However in the alt design I gave her I somehow managed to make it look right??? Don't know what I did there but I actually like how it looks, so I'll keep what I did there in mind for the next time I draw her.

Speaking of her alt design, it was actually a lot of fun for me to do. I imagine that's her more "official" outfit, don't know what she'd where it for but I mainly drew it on her because i had a cool idea ok?

Also, on the day I drew her initial face render, I had watched Serial Experiments Lain and I think those vibes bled into the sketch version. Upon further inspection of the rendered and coloured version it kinda lost that but it's more to try out a different brush for my style.

Also also, I experimented with giving her earrings! Which didn't make it to the final cut, but still wanted to try it out! This also came as a learning experience on what makes Keiki look like Keiki... it's the hair bandanna, every time she doesn't have it, she doesn't look like herself.

To end it off, I think the unhinged Keiki face I drew for her expressions (since everyone I've been drawing recently has kinda all been lookin like varitations of this face -> (o _ o) gonna need to draw more expressions period actually, need practice on that) is now my favourite unhinged Keiki face I've ever drawn LOL. Expect more Keiki sketches in the future because I do love drawing my beloved blue haired blorbo.

[mariemarion]

hey, long time no been here. I'm sleepy, but I have something to say

I will abuse google translator a little cause I originally wrote all this in spanish :p

I haven't had energy the last few months. I am currently in a not very good state of mind so I will allow myself to be somewhat negative below.

I have lost interest in continuing with art, or at least the motivation is at the lowest level it has ever been, my only real reason for continuing is because it feeds my family, my pets and me, its reason enough to keep going , I fervently believe. But this doesn't stop me from feeling like I'm not going anywhere, that I'm stuck. Drawing has never been so exhausting, so tiring. I loved it, it may not be a permanent feeling, but currently I do not feel love for my drawings, for my current style, although I like it I feel that it is not mine, that it is not me, that I am not being sincere.

My dream is to reach that level of skill, like the meme, a rookie artist drawing something super rendered and complex and the senior artist drawing the most simplified style possible, I want to be that senior artist x'D.

How socials are treating and overshadowing artists lately also has a lot to add here, to hell with the numbers, I'm not interested in them, I'm not interested in the algorithm, I don't quite understand what it's about, I don't want to be tied down all the time , I want to come and go freely, that's all, I don't enjoy loggin into networks as i used to be.

Sometimes I would like to go back in time, when I felt free to create, when I was looking for to experiment and had fun. Today just thinking about holding a pencil makes me want to run away to the comfort of my bed or go play with my cats or to want to climb a mount and never coming back. And not to mention the damage I have done to my eyes and my hands, sometimes I can't do anything but overdo everything, and therefore hurting me, I foolishly force myself to accomplish deadlines that I have imposed on myself and that I am aware of its a short time.

I'm in a situation where I can't stop drawing, it's my job, I can't simply take a rest. I practically survive with what I earn (which lately is little), prices for many essentials are going up to the stratosphere and beyond (the price for cat food is so ridiculously expensive that I have started opting for homemade food) I have not been able to save anything, if I stop drawing and taking commissions, I don't know what else I could do, looking for alternatives is also tiring. I just want to sleep.

Apathy, that is my current state.

Fatigue.

Drowsiness.

A bottomless abyss, although when I say it out loud it makes me laugh x'D

Going to therapy has crossed my mind, I know there are issues to resolve, but thinking about the absence of money and next month's expenses somehow overlap everything else.

I think there were more things to add, but I can't think anymore.

I will not abandon art, it is clear to me, but if these last few months have been slow (in terms of making art), they will be even more so in the future, so you better do not miss me too much, you have been warned x'D

ty for reading

[zombeebunnie]

Trembling Essence:💙Ending progress + poll results💙

Hi again and welcome new followers, here's another progress update about the game! >;]

But before I write that out I just want to say a very big thank you to everyone that participated in the poll I did so far, The results and responses have been helping me for the final version. :,] If you still want to give your vote/opinion on the start of the game here's the poll from my tumblr! There's less than 24 hours to vote!

I took a small break to gather my thoughts before continuing from where I left off. I was brainstorming a lot about this because I didn't want the beginning of the game to be too long when it comes to figuring out how to get to Noah, but I do want the explorative side to give some lore.

Suddenly, an idea came to mind that'll help me solve this issue I've been having. :,]

Last week I mentioned the two endings you could get that are from the [Extended Demo]. I don't count this as spoilers but these endings will have their own separate choice to go down instead of it being in the same path. This replaces a section from the [Extended Demo] and lowers the amount of time it takes to figure out how to get to Noah, especially for those that are new to the game. Consider this a healthy quality of life change, only one ending has been put on the shelf that I didn't have a connection with so far! :] This also gave me a chance to go through both endings individually and give a deeper exploration into these areas as they do play a part in the game. I added a few choices to show the differences in the terrain and how the player(Y/N) reacts to it. You can get an alternate situation but it will still end the same. I also fixed up some errors I found through the alternate choices that I almost missed too. For right now I'd say this ending will be finished once my play testers look through them! They've given me pointers on the CG's and dialog but not everything else yet. x] Speaking of quality changes I also went back and adjusted some of the new CG's I've drawn. I had a habit of drawing the landscape too low so you couldn't see anything unless you toggled the text box away. :,,,] Luckily this was a quick and easy fix.

Here's the results:

Before:

After:

I'm very happy with how far I've come when I draw backgrounds now! It's been a interesting journey but overall I enjoy knowing everything is coming together no matter how long it might take. There was another one I wanted to share but this the second CG I tried posting gave me an error. Luckily I had everything saved so I don't have to rewrite anything! :,,]

It took some time but I went back and fixed one of the effects that happen when you lose HP. The old version lights up the edges of your screen but sometimes it can be hard to see if there's another effect happening. I went back and gave a small hue effect every time you lose HP instead.

Lastly in other news, I finally started work on Noah's reference sheets! >:]

There will be a total of three(?) which will have specific details for each one! It's took some time to create since I'm still learning how to do angled faces/poses but I've gotten time to practice so I'm ready. >:] I also want to state that Noah's sprites/side sprites in the [Extended Demo] are accurate to how he's suppose to look too. Since I've improved my style certain specifics of his appearance might be slightly different! :]

Almost there to the cabin section, yay! I just have a few more things to fix up. >:]

If you like what I create, please consider supporting what I do on kofi! All donations and tips help tremendously while I work on the game. Also a very huge thank you to those that have optionally bought the [Extended Demo] and the March 2023 demo on itch.io too, it really means a lot. :,]

Q&A / Ask box is open:

If you have any questions about Trembling Essence/Noah feel free to ask here or on itch.io please. This makes it easier for me to see and answer accordingly! I would really like to hear from you guys!

There were some other things I wanted to discuss but this post is getting too long so I'll save it for next week, thank you guys for all of the support, I appreciate it! :,,]