#ppl who used to chat with me in DMs or on my Discord group have pretty much disappeared

[battleshipgarcy]

[unhingedkinfessions]

(TQ USER IM NOT YELLING I JUST TYPE LIKR THIS I FORGOR I HAVE TO PUT A DISCLAIMER EVER TIME OR WHATEVER) HAI !! FIRST TIME SENDING AN ASK HERE LMAO. SO I TELL EVERYONE ABOUT THIS KINNIE DISCORD SERVER DRAMA I HAD SO I MIGHT AS WELL SUBMIT IT HERE.

SO IM A VRISKA SERKET KINNIE, UNFORTUNATELY. BUT BACK IN 2022, I BELIEVED I WAS DIRK STRIDER, DUE TO SHITTY IDENTITY ISSUES AND PROBABLY OTHER THINGS. I HAD RECENTLY GOTTEN MY KINNIE BOYFRIEND (NOW EX) INTO HOMESTUCK, AT THE TIME. WE’LL CALL HIM SODA. SO SODA HAD MET THIS GIRL ON TIKTOK, GOING BY THE NAME TRANSFEM TEREZI. SHE HAD A BUNCH OF FOLLOWERS AND WAS GENERALLY WELL KNOWN ON HOMESTUCK TIKTOK. SO THEY BECAME BESTIES, AND I THOUGHT SHE WAS NEAT SO I STARTED TALKING TO HER ON DISCORD. WE BECAME BESTIES AS WELL !!

SO WE ALL KINNED FROM HOMESTUCK, THEREFORE WE DECIDED TO MAKE A HOMESTUCK KINNIE SERVER. AFTER A FEW DAYS IT WAS DONE, AND TEREZI INVITED ALL OF HER FOLLOWERS. ALL OF US BEING DUMB AND HAVING NO MODERATION EXPERIENCE, WE MODDED RANDOM PEOPLE, WHICH WILL BE IMPORTANT L8TER.

THE SERVER WAS PRETTY ACTIVE AND EVERYONE WAS HAVING FUN. FOR LIKE 5 DAYS. ONE DAY, I WAS AT THE BEACH WITH MY FAMILY AND MY PHONE WAS IN THE CAR. ONCE WE WERE DONE, I CAME BACK TO CHECK IT. AND THERE IT WAS, 100+ NOTIFS. I WAS CONFUSED AND WENT ON DISCORD, ONLY TO SEE THE HORRORS:

TONS OF DMS FROM 6 DIFFERENT PEOPLE, 3 DIFFERENT NEW GROUP CHATS, 5 PEOPLE ASKING ME WHAT HAPPENED, AND SOME PEOPLE TELLING ME TO DIE. I WAS SO DAMN CONFUSED, SO I LOOKED TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON AND ASKED ABOUT IT.

APPARENTLY, A GUY NAMED BEEF NUTS JOINED THE SERVER AND STARTED SPAMMING SLURS AND SCAT JOKES, AMONG OTHER THINGS. REASONABLY, ONE OF THE MODS BANNED HIM. THIS TURNED OUT TO BE A HORRIBLE IDEA, AS ONCE HE WAS BANNED, THE OTHER MODS AND SOME MEMBERS GOT PISSED AND STARTED SPAMMING “JUSTICE FOR BEEF NUTS,” WHICH HAD CAUSED TEREZI TO JUST GET STRESSED AND FUCKING LEAVE THE SERVER WHILE IT ALL WENT DOWN??

SOON ENOUGH, THE SERVER WAS IN SHAMBLES. EVERYONE WAS CONFUSED AND THE OWNER HAD LEFT, PLUS CHANNELS WERE CLOGGED. EVENTUALLY, WE DID DAMAGE CONTROL, AND FIXED IT UP.

AFTER THAT, EVERYONE WAS FUCKIN PISSED AT TEREZI. WE DUG UP A BUNCH OF STUFF ABOUT HER AND JUST DECIDED TO H8 HER. WE CALLED HER ABLEIST AND RACIST AND TRANSPHOBIC, AND WENT TO HUNT HER DOWN AND HARASS HER, BECAUSE DUMB CHILDREN.

AFTER SHIT GOT REAAAL BAD, SHE DECIDED TO RESPOND TO THE ALLEGATIONS. HER RESPONSE WAS BASICALLY “IM A SYSTEM NOT A KINNIE NOW ACTUALLY. ONE OF MY ALTERS IS JUST AN ASSHOLE” AND EVERYONE BELIEVED HER I GUESS BECAUSE PPL STOPPED TALKING ABOUT IT.

MORE HAPPENED L8TER BUT IM SAVING THAT FOR ANOTHER ASK. REMEMBER ME AS VRISKA ANON. BAI :333

ok thats cool and all but all i asked is if you wanted fries with that not so happy meal. a bit weird that you're admitting to harassing some random maybe-system who got overwhelmed and prolly didnt deserve to get hated on like its such a funny story. from what youve said here in this drivethrough with the broken sign and cracked pavement it sounds like you guys were weird and in the wrong. "dumb children" 2022 was last year own up motherfucker

have a bit of shame and compassion in your heart girl we aint your friends. but what do i know im just a humble worker here at uhkfdonalds or some shit

[neocores]

hey mutuals!! im looking for 1 (one) extra person to join my dnd group

i'm going to be running a small prelude module (link here if you wanted to check it out), which leads up to doing the main module Descent into Avernus.

the above book is made for one to two person 'choose your own adventure' style, but has stuff to adjust it to a bigger party, and i'll be doing a few of my own changes just to get it to fit. that said, it's a pretty short module!

we will probably only be playing this prelude thingie for like, 3 sessions, it's relatively casual and uncomplicated, and also a good way to intro to a new group.

important infos:

it'll be starting on the 18th of May, and then sessions after that will be every other week! (so 1st of June after that, then 15th of June after that).

it will be at 7pm gmt / 3pm est / 1pm mst

we play using Tabletop Simulator (you can get it on steam). if you can't get it/run it, lmk and we can just use Foundry or Roll20 instead.

it will be done via discord voice chat

there's currently 4 other players, with one likely only staying for this prelude. they aree @miquellaslily , @subhumanself and @pucciverse . the 4th is my brother who doesn't have a tumblr lmao.

after this prelude, we're then planning on having a pre- DiA 'session 0' to see who wants to continue on to the bigger module, if anything needs adjusting, character changes, etc.

dm me here on tumblr if you wanna join and/or have any questions!!!

and we'll exchange discords + steam then too.

here's the blurb text from the prelude:

Not far west of the exciting and sprawling city of Baldur’s Gate, rests a sleepy Sword Coast hamlet. Ulgoth’s Beard is home to mostly shepherds, fishermen, and -- most notably -- the weird wizard Shandalar. Naturally, as is the case with most strange sorcerous sorts, Shandalar requires the help of an eager would-be adventurer. That’s where you come in. Your quest will take you into the fey-haunted Cloakwood on a seemingly simple mission. But what you witness in the forest will start a chain of events that will lead you through hell itself, requiring you to use all of your skills and wits to survive. Can you escape Avernus unscathed, or will you become just another lost soul in the planes of the damned?

this is staying rebloggable for ME to keep it up for the next few days but pls dont rb (unless u are the three ppl above lmao) :'3

[tweedledummidum]

My friend group had a huge falling out and has kind of split. I know already that I am in the wrong and I feel really bad for what happened, but I also feel bad because sometimes I feel like I am not in the wrong. I just want other ppl to give me their point of view on the situation so I can’t delude myself anymore. Also, I want some advice please. I’m sorry in advance. This was all during midterms, so I was stressed, but that’s not an excuse.

Main Situation

Our friend group was made up of people of different races, religions, sexualities, etc.---so we were inherently incompatible in a way, but we tried to make it work. The main people involved in this story though are two guy friends of mine—let’s call them Wayne and Liam. In freshman year, Liam was not a good friend to put it bluntly. He would often lie, manipulate, and say scary things. Wayne had a hot temper and is the type to curse someone out once they’ve put him over the edge. Both have grown a lot from who they used to be in the past. A girl who I’ll call Liza was also in our group from the start. About six months before the big fight, Wayne’s other friend Lucas joined the group, but I don’t consider him to be my friend. We had a discord server (kind of like a large group chat) for us to talk—I was the owner.

At a school event, most of the group got the chance to meet up in person. I had been excited to talk to my friends because I hadn’t been as active on the server because of some personal issues. But I was surprised to see that people were shipping Liza and Lucas. In the past week or so, I made a channel to ship Lucas with my other friend Beth, but I confirmed with both of them that they didn’t feel uncomfortable by it. Liza and Lucas would never work together, but I did notice that Lucas kept waiting for her to arrive. I also remember that he said something about Liza that made me think that he might’ve liked her, but I don’t remember exactly. Once Liza did arrive, I hopped on the bandwagon with the shipping because it seemed like it was all in good fun, like with the LucasxBeth thing. Simultaneously, Wayne, Liam, and another friend Paige was messing around with their own thing. I had also just found out that Liam and Paige were being “shipped” but as a teasing way, or so I thought. Wayne would tease them together and Paige at some point pretended to propose to him and grab his arm and stuff. It seemed all in good fun because Liam pretended to show off the ring to the crowd. Also, Liam is gay, so nothing would’ve come from it anyway. 

Fast forward to after the school event was over. That night, I joined a call with Liza, Wayne, and Paige to talk about things that were going on. It was there that I found out that Liza was NOT okay with being shipped with Lucas, so me, Wayne, and Paige apologized profusely. That’s when Liza starts alluding to the fact that she suspects that Lucas actually had a crush on her. I also said that I did too and told the three of them what I overheard Lucas say. Wayne has been Lucas’s friend for a long time, so said that he would find out more information. It’s important to note that we all agreed to not tell anyone what had happened in the VC, especially to Lucas. The next day (Sunday), I took a long nap, and when I woke up, I saw an invitation to a smaller group chat that Liam had sent me in DMs. He said that he had something important to talk to me about with Lucas and Liza. 

I joined the group chat (let’s call it LLL), and they basically show me that Lucas had made an announcement to @everyone in the big server. He basically called everyone children and revealed that he knew what had happened in the VC. He also said that Paige pried with Liza about what happened, he knew that I told people about what he said and Liam did the same thing except privately. He said that he knew that Wayne told another friend of ours named Carol, and that he was upset that he told her even though Carol suspected it already. He added that Paige and Wayne had actually been making fun Liam at the school event and apparently before then as well and that we were all shattering the friend group.

To recap/clarify: Wayne and Paige knew that Lucas had a crush on Liza before we talked on VC; Liam had found out that Lucas liked Liza, so Wayne and Paige pushed the PaigexLiam thing too far in order to prevent him from saying anything to Liza about Lucas in yet ANOTHER VC that took place on Sunday afternoon; Lucas didn’t mind the shipping between him and Liza until it was taken to far because he did in fact have a crush on Liza; and no one really liked Wayne or Paige at the moment, myself included.

Back to the group chat with Lucas, Liza, and Liam: they wanted me to give up server ownership because I wasn’t qualified enough. They told me that I should give it to Liam who would then share power with Liza and Lucas. I asked them to write out all of their complaints about me because I wanted to ask other people in the server if they agreed with the three of them, so Liam wrote out seventeen lengthy complaints that the other two approved of. For context, they were about my recent availability, my passiveness, my incompetence, my gullibility, the way I ran the server (they described it as a monarchy), division of power. In short, I didn’t equally represent the interests of the server members and when I at least tried, I took too long to do so. They gave me a deadline of the next day, and that ended that.

I was shocked to see that they had all of these complaints with me, especially because I hadn’t remembered most of them being brought up before. I wanted the server to be like a massive, more complex group chat where there weren’t any specific admin or anything because I didn’t want it to seem as if I was ranking some of my friends over others. Also, we’re all equal and high schoolers who can solve their own problems, so I didn’t know that they wanted the owner of the server to be so involved with everything. Since the start, we all had admin access—I had to fiddle with things a bit though about a year prior because there were issues with some people kicking people from VCs. So basically, some people couldn’t be kicked out from a VC or be banned (because if you know discord, their roles were ranked higher than others), but everyone could make/delete channels, make events , and other permissions. 

More than anything else though, I wanted people on the server to be happy, so if they were happier with a new owner, then I was fine with that. I was wary of giving it to Liam though due to some past events that I’ll talk about at the very end as “Additional Information”. I decided to figure out people’s opinions of me as server owner and find a replacement if possible. 

It’s Monday now. As I was talking to people and making my decision, I found out some new information about the school event. When I told the LLL group chat that I was going to talk to Wayne and Paige about their perspective, they all got upset with me. Paige was one of the people with the “higher” roles, and they were upset that they couldn’t time her out (basically discipline/punish) her when she deserved it. I was kind of rubbed the wrong way when they said that, but that wasn’t even the worst part. They started talking about how some opinions didn’t carry the same weight as others; Paige and Wayne didn’t need their opinions about the server ownership heard; Wayne’s opinion about how he wanted the server wouldn’t carry the same weight as the paragraphs of reasoning that they gave; that the complaints that they had with me were objective facts and not subjective opinions and that I was calling Liam a liar when I said that not everyone agreed; Paige and Wayne were liars and if I believed them over Liam then he’d be hurt; that I didn’t want to believe anything bad about myself (which he knows isn’t true because I often ask my friends to tell me the things wrong with me so I can try to fix it and be better); and lots of other kind of nasty stuff. 

Short excerpt:

Me: “It’s related bc you said I don’t want to believe bad things about myself, and that isn’t true no matter how you look at it. Anyone who knows me knows this to be true; you yourself know this to be true—or at least I hope. Which is why I think you should cool down. IDK what I said to upset you, IDK if it was even something I said, but regardless, it isn’t an excuse to get nasty with me. “

Liam: “Oh I’m getting nasty with you, is that it?”

Liam: “I need to cool down? Maybe the reason I’m upset is because after Wayne and Paige harassed me again and I dealt with this whole Liza and Lucas situation that Wayne and Paige started, and after all the lies and all the effort I put in to laying our requests to you out in a nice way, you had the audacity to tell me you not only don’t believe me, but that you are going to weigh my opinion the same as Wayne’s. Maybe I have a right to be upset.”

Then Liza added that she completely agrees with Liam and that I was just stalling. Lucas added that he’s known Wayne for a decade and that I shouldn’t side with him (note: I never said I was siding with him; I only wanted his perspective).

While all of this was happening, I was in a conversation with Wayne too. He said that he didn’t agree with most of the complaints and that I shouldn’t transfer ownership, especially not to Liam. I then asked him about the shipping, and he said that it was entirely his and Paige’s fault; he apologized to Liza and Lucas, but he apparently didn’t apologize for this other incident that I wasn’t aware of. 

It turned out that this other incident was the LiamxPaige thing, so I confronted him on how they didn’t respect Liam’s boundaries and blackmailed him with a personal piece of info. Wayne said that the blackmail was BS and that Liam was lying about things. That’s when Wayne revealed that Liam had played a role in growing the ship and can’t blame it all on Paige, and that he couldn’t expect them to stop and be serious if he was laughing with them too. Wayne also said that he barely played a role in it besides saying that Paige was Liam’s wife, and that Liam had never asked them to stop seriously until about two weeks prior. He also said that Liam said that he had stockholm syndrome and that he liked the ship with Paige. Additionally, Paige had said that they were no longer married at some point on VC, and to get her back, Liam apparently did sent her an inappropriate measurement. Also, Lucas had sent Wayne messages that Liam had sent him, saying that the PaigexLiam thing was funny at first until it wasn’t, which Wayne acknowledged as understandable and fine. What confused him was that him and Paige didn’t know that Liam was serious because he kept laughing. He also told me that Liam and Liza were also not completely honest about the LucasXLiza situation. Apparently, way back at the school event, Liza had asked Liam to ask Lucas if he had a crush on her, meaning thAT LIZA KNEW THE WHOLE TIME? AND SO DID LIAM?

At this point I was so lost and confused, so I decided to just focus on the server ownership thing because the LLL group was starting to pressure me to make a decision. My friend Carol had also run into Liam and Lucas—who were loose cannons atp—in a VC in the main server. They ended up kicking her seven times before timing her out because she kept asking questions about what was going on. While I think Carol should have just left them alone after the third time or smtg, Liam and Lucas were in a public server and their reaction was excessive. I was trying to understand why they timed her out, it was a lost cause because Liam was already angry with me. I feel bad because Carol interjected and said that she was sorry for interrupting them, but she was immediately shot down with a “you aren’t helping” from Lucas. At this moment, I was just waiting to talk to Carol to make a decision with server ownership. Liam and Lucas were weirdly adamant about Carol agreeing with them, but I found out they misconstrued what she said after speaking to her directly. 

At around 11:30 Monday night, I told the server that I was going start from the beginning so that people would know that I was being as fair as I could be. I started by posting screenshots of Liam’s complaints for people to read, then summarized what the members I was able to reach said about me being owner. At this point, an hour at passed, and Liza and Liam asked if I could get to the point bc they were tired. I told them that I didn’t want any misconceptions like in the LLL group chat earlier, so I kept on. I then shared (with permission) screenshots of my conversation with Carol and Paige. The former thought that the power should be split between people who are neutral when it comes to fighting in the server (like me or Liza), while the latter said that people shouldn’t expect me to be available 24/7 and to prioritize the server over my midterms. Paige also said that she didn’t think it was fair to give me such a deadline bc I put a lot of effort into the server to keep it organized and managed properly. Lucas then added that Carol doesn’t take anything seriously, is incredibly indecisive, forgets things, and has brain fog. At this point, Liam, Lucas, Liza, and one of Lucas’ friends named Paul were telling me to hurry up, so I summarized the results. Five were in favour of Liam and seven were in favor of me. I then said that I would keep the server because 

I hadn’t considered anyone other than Liza to be a server owner, but after some of the things she said about other people, I didn’t consider her anymore.

I didn’t appreciate the teaming sort of vibe from LLL by making a private groupchat and misconstruing what Carol said. They were extremely rude to Carol, this was the second time that they had “ambushed” me, they were pressuring me to decide, etc.

I didn’t want to transfer ownerships after a big fight when tensions were high. 

This sounds cringey, but I know that you guys probably want to see me in person to yell at me, because I had messed up badly. LLL+Paul yelled at me, especially Liam. I understand now that what he said next was true about me, but it really stung.

I spent way too much time with the whole narrative.

I wasted their time

My approach in the situation was not ideal

I was being difficult

My attitude to things leads to worse things happening

I was arrogant and inconsiderate

I was feeling pretty bad at this point, but I didn’t have it in me to say anything else because it was 1 AM. But due to the events that happened next, I deeply regret this.

Paige tries to defend me:

“This is exactly why she wanted to explain how she got to the decision she got. Everyone of you is saying that she wasted yalls time but if she just straight up said “no I am not giving the power to someone else” then would you guys not be questioning how she got tor the decision. I don’t get why you all are getting mad at OP(me) when all she ever did was try to maintain peace in this server—if she didn’t manage it properly this time doesn’t mean we disregard all the other times she’s gotten us through hurdles.”

Then the doors of hell broke loose. 

Liam: “you wasted our time, you obviously made up your mind a while ago and didnt even care about our concerns, and you dragged this on for way too long when i could have slept two hours ago. im so fucking pissed at you right now OP. and this nonsense about you considering everyone's opinion? what i told you were facts not opinions. Wayne and Paige are the last people you should be taking advice from right now and the audacity for you to actually call me a liar multiple times to day, condescending to me by acting like my irritation wasn't valid? and suggesting over and over again that i would be a terrible candidate for server owner? this was a massively wasteful and offensive ordeal and im honestly hurt that you dont care as much about what i think as i do about your thoughts”

Liam never curses at anyone, so this one really hurt. He continued to curse me and Paige out. Paige tried to mollify him by apologizing once again for the PaigeXLiam thing. I don’t think I can type out all of the things he said about me and Paige, but they were explicit and hurtful, even if I deserved it. 

Poor Carol asks everyone to calm down, which sets Liam off further. At this point, Liam was now saying that we were doing this because he was gay—which was totally untrue and uncalled for. Multiple members of are friend group are LGBT+, so that doesn’t even make sense to me. Liam is still crashing out, and Paul and Lucas are supporting him as he goes. At this point, Wayne comes in with an attempt to ameliorate things—unsuccessful though. He says that his apology was genuine and that he shouldn’t say those things about me bc I was a good friend (even though I wasn’t).

Liam then reveals that this whole thing has been going on for a while with people ganging up on him. He also said that he hated how everyone never takes his side and that he should be allowed to be angry and have people understand. Carol apologizes for telling him to calm down.

It’s 1:34 at this point and ppl start to sleep. 

At 3 am, Wayne sends this message:

“I'm just going to say one last thing from thinking about it a lot. I know you're angry Liam and I apologize for making you angry. I am the main reason for it. But OP really has not done anything and has been a supportive friend of yours. Stopping me when I was mean to you and such. Please don't be too aggressive with her and Carol. They have nothing to do with this. Like you said you can take your anger out. But take it out on me. Not to OP and other innocent people. If you really are mad just tell me and take the anger out on me. I'm hearing you out rn and I'm apologizing. I'm being serious not joking I just want to make sure not to damage anyone's mental health over this because you know how weak OP can be when it comes to this (sorry OP). And also i thought Liza wasn't in the best state too which is also my fault but I also feel like she doesn't need this according to what I heard from her how she doesn't want everyone to fight anymore. So if you're mad take it out on me individually and people who have done you wrong not OP.”

At around 10 am, Beth (remember her) asks in the server if I want to talk in person with her, but Liam lashes out at her as well. They kind of provoke each other and things turn up again. 

Lucas, Wayne, Carol, Liam, and I agree to talk things through in a VC that evening. I was afraid of something bad happening, so I recorded the conversation. Wayne said that he was going to cut off online interaction with Liam. Carol, Wayne, Beth, Paige, and three others leave the server. 

I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I don’t know how to fix any of this, or even if it can be fixed. There’s more to the story that I’ll add in a section below, but please give me some advice to fix this. I’ve already apologized profusely to Liam and Liza but idk what else I can do.

Additional Info

The first major incident that we had was about a grade-wide school project during freshman year. We were split between two classes (A and B), and then those classes were split into many teams. I was team 1A, Wayne was team 1B, and Liam was team 2B. There were goals that each team had to meet in a debate, so ideally, the other teams shouldn’t know about your goals. However, we (the grade) decided to trade info around. At some point, Wayne decided to trade team 3B’s goals for team 2B’s goals. I found out later that Wayne had accidentally sent the document of all of the goals that his team had to Liam, which included his own teams. They agreed that Liam shouldn’t use the information that wasn’t originally going to be traded, and they called me to be a witness to their “contract”. In this contract, no lying, loopholes, or deception was allowed. But in a call at three AM a few months later, Liam reveals laughing that he actually tricked us and kept the information anyways. Wayne and I get upset with him and Liam doesn’t think it’s a big deal until he realizes how upset we are. Wayne said that he crossed the line, but Liam said that we always cross the line (although, he hadn’t really set boundaries before this incident). I apologize to Liam and he eventually apologizes to Wayne and I.

The second major incident was during sophomore year. Wayne, Liam, another friend, and I are in another project. I worked on the whole thing myself until the final night before the presentation, Wayne watched me work while Liam reviewed things. The other friend said she’d work on it the morning it was due. I think they felt bad, but they didn’t deserve to feel bad. It was like a short story project, and I’m not that good, so it was trash. Liam recognized this too and told me that it was garbage in VC. It’s like 4 AM and he suggests that we start over to make it better. This set Wayne off and he crashes out on Liam and curses him out for like three minutes straight. I still feel really bad about this, because it would’ve been avoided had I did the project right the first time.

The third major incident was also during sophomore year. Everyone except me in my friend group talked about things that may be seen as freaky? IDK it ranges from a gif of two anime characters making out to something out of an Ice Spice song or smtg. It’s like a running joke to collect screenshots and put them in a channel for ppl to see outlandish things someone has said. I caught one of these moments of something that Liam said, but instead of leaving it alone, I just had to provoke him about it. He then threatened this picture of me in my pjs when I accidentally turned on my camera on VC once, so I threatened an entire arsenal of embarrassing screenshots of him. Because he couldn’t find anything else that embarrassed me, he edited messages of me saying inappropriate things about Wayne. For context, people in our grade shipped me with Wayne, which really made us uncomfortable because we don’t like each other—Liam and everyone in our friend group knew this. I should’ve kept it to myself, but I showed them to Wayne. He got really mad though, which is understandable for him because he was dragged into my mess. I shouldn’t have provoked Liam about this to begin with. Also question: does this count as sexual harassment? It’s never happened to me before and it’s far different than the situation with Liam and Paige, which Liam informed me was SH.

Another incident that happened the day before the school event was that I kicked Liam in the side hard once. He brought up something that really annoyed me, so I kicked. The year before, he lied to this racist kid that I had a crush on him, and Liam made a joke about it when he saw him. This is entirely my fault, as I wasn't clear enough that I didn't like those type of jokes. I apologized profusely for this, but it is very helpful for context with the situation. I also unknowingly insult people sometimes, and I don't always understand their jokes. I am not a good friend. If you made it this far, could you please give me advice on improvements. 

There’s more stuff but this is getting kinda long so idk. Pls DM me if you want specific information to give me specific advice, because I have access to these conversations.

[io-archival]

from under cut:

toki pona is a minimalist conlang, which this post assumes very basic knowledge of. if youd like, u can read the wikipedia page (linked above), or this article from the atlantic, "Toki Pona: A Language With a Hundred Words."

some background on the creation of 'tonsi' - toki pona started development around 2001, and was 1st published in 2014, with 120 "canon" words - including the 2 gender words, meli & mije. however , toki pona is a living language, + words come about as the community needs them - the community came together to create 'tonsi' in a grassroots effort c. 2019 to fill a lexical gap that existed for describing ppl who fell outside the meli-mije duality.

etomologically, the word is from mandarin 同志 'tóngzhì' (meaning "comrade", & commonly used to mean gay / LGBTQ - though "tonsi" itself is generally agreed refer to gender.) some people use it exclusively to mean "nonbinary / genderqueer" , but expanded usage to also include all trans & gnc people (who choose to identify as tonsi) is very common, + is a definition i endorse ( & created the flag in mind with ! ) the word was officialized as an essential word in 2021 w./ the release of the toki pona dictionary

the sitelen pona ( logographic / hieroglyph writing system ) glyph for 'tonsi'

as for the design & symbolism of the flag - the central blue symbol represents the sitelen pona glyph for tonsi (shown above), in the blue of the toki pona logo - the 3 segments (colored pink, green, and purple) were roughly inspired by colors on the trans, gq, & nonbinary flags - as a whole, the flag symbolizes the way the tonsi community unites people of all different gender experiences & primary-language terms.

toki pona philosophy is all about capturing universal concepts in a way that allows for clear and simple communication, and gender variance is absolutely a universal concept. tonsi is a beautiful + necessary word, & with this flag, i wanted 2 focus not on granular inclusions of which groups fall under tonsi , but rather the unity the term presents, and how it allows us to unite by what we have in common , rather than pick over the terminology we choose.

a version of the tonsi flag made in a 16:9 aspect ratio 4 convenience

to my knowledge, no one else has made an effort 2 create a dedicated tonsi flag, but reception to having one has been positive thru the toki pona speakers i've shown the design - much thnx to the people on discord who gave their thoughts, as well as @/epikulupu for consulting - sina ale li epiku mute a ( i'll also be posting a lili version of this post on r/tokipona soon + will add a link when i do)

im passionate about toki pona + its community, + am an advanced speaker myself - if you have questions / comments , dm me, send an ask, or leave a reply - id always love 2 chat in / about toki pona if u.r interested in learning, i recommend using this free course (lipu sona pona) & joining the discord , ma pona pi toki pona. as always, my flags are free to use, w./ credit appreciated but not required - stay pona

introducing - our tonsi flag ( len sitelen pi kulupu tonsi ! ) 'tonsi' is a toki pona word that, roughly, means "a gender experience not fully described by 'mije' [man] or 'meli' [woman]." context + design explanation under the cut 🌈❤️

🗣❗️ : toki pona is a minimalist conlang, which this post assumes very basic knowledge of. if youd like, u can read the wikipedia page (linked above), or this article from the atlantic, "Toki Pona: A Language With a Hundred Words."

some background on the creation of 'tonsi' - toki pona started development around 2001, and was 1st published in 2014, with 120 "canon" words - including the 2 gender words, meli & mije. however , toki pona is a living language, + words come about as the community needs them - the community came together to create 'tonsi' in a grassroots effort c. 2019 to fill a lexical gap that existed for describing ppl who fell outside the meli-mije duality.

etomologically, the word is from mandarin 同志 'tóngzhì' (meaning "comrade", & commonly used to mean gay / LGBTQ - though "tonsi" itself is generally agreed refer to gender.) some people use it exclusively to mean "nonbinary / genderqueer" , but expanded usage to also include all trans & gnc people (who choose to identify as tonsi) is very common, + is a definition i endorse ( & created the flag in mind with ! ) the word was officialized as an essential word in 2021 w./ the release of the toki pona dictionary

the sitelen pona ( logographic / hieroglyph writing system ) glyph for 'tonsi'

as for the design & symbolism of the flag - the central blue symbol represents the sitelen pona glyph for tonsi (shown above), in the blue of the toki pona logo - the 3 segments (colored pink, green, and purple) were roughly inspired by colors on the trans, gq, & nonbinary flags - as a whole, the flag symbolizes the way the tonsi community unites people of all different gender experiences & primary-language terms.

toki pona philosophy is all about capturing universal concepts in a way that allows for clear and simple communication, and gender variance is absolutely a universal concept. tonsi is a beautiful + necessary word, & with this flag, i wanted 2 focus not on granular inclusions of which groups fall under tonsi , but rather the unity the term presents, and how it allows us to unite by what we have in common , rather than pick over the terminology we choose.

a version of the tonsi flag made in a 16:9 aspect ratio 4 convenience

to my knowledge, no one else has made an effort 2 create a dedicated tonsi flag, but reception to having one has been positive thru the toki pona speakers ive shown the design - much thnx to the people on discord who gave their thoughts, as well as @epikulupu for consulting - sina ale li epiku mute a ❤️ ( ill also be posting a lili version of this post on r/tokipona soon + will add a link when i do 🌈 )

im passionate about toki pona + its community, + am an advanced speaker myself - if you have questions / comments , dm me, send an ask, or leave a reply - id always love 2 chat in/about toki pona 😁 if u.r interested in learning, i reccomend using this free course (lipu sona pona) & joining the discord , ma pona pi toki pona. as always, my flags are free to use, w./ credit appreciated but not required - stay pona ❤️