#ppl who just want babies but dont care about them as people

[alexandrium]

not to mention how annoying my mom is about me having a baby

[thatneoncrisis]

Sorry to keep dragging you through Arcane hell (the new season is... oof) but I am curious what your thoughts on silco are? Realising more and more that silco and sevika are the only part of the show I gave a fuck about and my love of season one was really just those two.

i keep putting things under a readmore so if ppl dont want to see me go "damn this was good i wish it was better" they dont have to

i think silco on paper has potential to be one of my favorite characters on the show, and barring that at least one of the most layered and well crafted. his and vanders dynamic is by no means unique, its very professor x and magneto, which is already something i can take or leave. "oh we were childhood friends and allies fighting for a better future but one of us got soft while the other became hardned and radicalized" the narrative of the terrorist freedom fighter, one corrupted by power is done a Lot bc of a general apprehension in shows like this to endorse violence on the behalf of the oppressed class BUT i think his relationship with jinx was a good addition and if like one or two changes were made it could have been some of the best the show has to offer

for the sake of this post, im going to ignore the reveal that silco knew jinxs mother before her death i think that was dumb and bad. essentially, the show begins with silco and vander at odds- they both are doing what they believe needs to be done in order to secure zauns future, and both of them are ultimatrly hurting zauns people; silco is flooding the streets with shimmer and vander is working with enforcers. silco is primarily motivated by power, but vander is motivated by his love for his kids, this is the only way he has even the slightest assurance that he can keep them from run ins with the law, a law that has a precedent for tossing children in maximum sexurity prisons.

vanders death and silcos subsequent acqusition of jinx flips the coin. there is now something in his life to love, to protect, to care for. he is falling into the same behavior that vander was, even if he is far worse at it bc hes a terrible father whos also a drug lord and just kind of lets his unstable daughter sit in a. ave and build bombs all day. hes not *good* but he *cares* evidenced by him literally needing to be sedated when jinx gets surgery so he didnt flip the fuck out

in a straightforward narrative, this is a story about a man having to choose between his daughter and his passion project. zaun is something he has given his life for, hed do anything to have it succeed... except one thing. that one thing. "there is nothing so undoing as a daughter" is probably one of my favorite lines in the show. i really do wish we had gotten More of them, especially at the beginning when she was a baby and silco doesnt really know what to do with her, which brings me to my next bit-

i think sevika is an indespensible part of the triangle of silco and jinx triangle. i find her position interesting as she is not only second in command, but second to jinx, a literal child. she can be the best right hand man a guy could ask for, she is so dedicated to his cause she betrayed vander, she has given her life and limb for this shit. but she will never be jinx. and i think the conversation of like, how far will silco go before he is forced to choose is kind of awesome. the ultimatum jayce gives him is good it is the breaking point of him trying to do both. he is directly responsible for the "monster" piltover is hunting, he didnt try to keep her in line, he let her do whatever she wanted and he is now directly reaping the consequences. frankly, i think sevika should have been present for that choice in some capacity, eavesdropping or something, so certain that hell make the right choice, its just a girl. and she sees him falter. him not choosing is a choice, he cannot actually make the sacrifices required to get shit done. hed orphan a thousand children to build his utopia, but he cant let go of his girl

anyway all of that was really cool and interesting so you imagine my frustration when his choice is taken from him via jinx flipping out, kidnapping him then shooting him. it was so. anticlimatic. it *feels* like its supposed to be a tragedy, oh she assumes the worst when he was actually going to choose her, but those conclusions feel too. private. like he dies with basically no one knowing he was this close to selling zaun up a river for his girl. i dont think he should have died i think he should have been disgraced for daring to have it all. anyway i think instead of jinx overhearing him talk outloud and coming to the wrong conclusion sevika should have deliberately led her there 1. to piss her off on purpose and 2. prove a point to silco that jinx is unstable and a liability, but not assume shed go far enough to kill him, bc they both still care about him.

overall any of my issues with how his story goes is just a combination of my distaste for that particular archetype, where he is so incredibly comically evil i cannot take a single one of his points seriously even though they Are correct (killmonger. its just killmonger again) and the show just once again not having time for anything with him that is not The Plot. the fondness he has for jinx is apparent i just wish it could COOK longer i wanted MORE, i wanted to see him foster that love of inventing in her, even though it is clearly just because the weapons she makes are helpful to his cause, i want to see her genuinely give input on his ideas, i want to see them talk about vander. his human elements are like too sparse for me to latch on to its like the Idea of them, i go oh i see what you guys are Trying to do. there is too little of him i see him cooing over his daughter then going back to his crack cocaine mines staffed by orphan children and i ask does the show jave anything to say about this cognative dissonance? no? i find it really telling that one chem baron was pissed at the enforcers for her son dying, and yes they were Definitely a factor but WHY DO YOU HAVE YOUR SON WORKING IN THE CRACK COCAINE MINES MAAM. YOU WERE KIND OF ASKING FOR IT. theres no like, conversation about what the corrupting influences of power does to the next generation even when the best of intentions are had. jinx constantly taking shimmer in season 2 for power ups, a direct product of her fathers worst tendancies, and it having NO ill effects on her, shes not reduced to the animalistic state of the drug addicts we are CONSTANTLY seeing on the streets bc. why. is she built different. the metaphor is RIGHT THERE her father/shimmer enable her but they are also killing her from the inside mein GOTT.

also the first time i watched this show i kept confusing him with viktor lol

[ssparksflyy]

OMG BELLS REQS ARE OPEN AAAA

literally any kind of Leo x latina reader please cause im just in love with how you write him

ask and thou shall receive ༉‧₊˚.

leo valdez dating hcs! ✶ ࣪˖࿐ *

pairing: leo valdez x latina!reader warning(s): swearin + gringas this one aint for u pookies ♡♡ a/n: BRO. i had to rewrite this completely twice bcs i kept on forgetting to save it nd it would all delete 😭 also ty girlie ♡

leo valdez, certified loverboy

his lips gotta be surgically detached from you cause damn

this boy loves kissing u

big big fan of u wearing lipgloss/lipstick cause then it gets on his lips nd leaves him all heart eyes

its like his own lil trophy

nd hey it reminds the other girlies that hes taken !! not available !! go find someone else !!

so u best believe u do it w a SMIRK.

best dance partner to ever dance partner

his hands go all over u girl

but that usual firm grip on ur waist omfg 😵‍💫😵‍💫

also does not gaf if he feels like his legs r about to fall off, if u wanna keep dancing then dance he shall

only other people he would dance w are little kids who ask him to ♡

good asf with kids im afraid

he claims that its because their imaginations are still big, hence making it easier for him to actually enjoy having a conversation with them instead of like ... politics ( hes never had a convo about politics )

he so wouldve loved spending time with family if he had the chance :((

he so becomes besties w ur mama tho ♡♡

( if shes mortal ofc )

they instantly clicked when u introduced them to each other :))

ur mom loves how sweet he is nd how much he cares abt you ♡

you left for a second to go to the restroom nd came back to the comadres looking at baby pics

like ?? u left for 2 seconds ??

wdym hes already getting the family chisme shes just met this man ??

its that leo valdez charm or somethin

cause like if ur dads a mortal he also really likes him 😭

ofc hes gotta pull the whole overprotective dad bit first

but once they get talking he slowly gets more comfortable w him :))

he also appreciates how much he cares nd how he puts u first ♡♡

i feel like mortal parents would just care if they treat u right nd are loyal

or maybe they dont nd actually become stricter

....

who knows anyway back to repair boy

THE roses man

his fav flowers

he thinks it romantic its classy and hey who doesnt love a good red rose

he could spend days making you a bunch of metal flowers nd painting them nd make a bouquet

but he gives u a metal flower everyday !!

so u best believe for special occasions he buys u a big ol ramo of roses nd a cute lil plushie or somethin ♡

v cute v cute v that sould be me

u best believe when u move in together

oh yea. ur future is already planned out together

theres always something bomb for dinner

whether its homemade or ordered in, u eat good every night ♡

"but i cant cook!' dw pooks he can !!

he asked ur parent for ur fav homemade meals nd asked them to teach him how they make it :((

best believe u wake up to breakfast made every weekend

nd ofc all he asks for back is kisses ♡

im tellin u. an addict. cannot get enough. its not normal man

youve got a stash of candies in one of ur cabinets for whenever u crave themmm

constantly gotta restock up tho cause they do NOT last

u guys def talk crap in spanish

i mean obviously , who doesnt

but if u desperately need a gossip sesh but r like surrounded by ppl you whip out the spanish ykyk

sigh, i want a leo valdez ♡♡

a/n two: hope u enjoyed !! idk if these r kinda short but tbh im so sleepy nd havent had good sleep at all this week so im ending it here, have a good day/night !!

peace from manhattan,

percy jackson ♡

[joelletwo]

has gintama fandom already had the umi-style "(metaphorically comparable to) DID or not "/distinct people or just personas argument about shouyoutsuro where do ppl land on that. i keep having it in my head on the side of the onis being (oh they are one but many) just the one guy but expressed differently.

.

[soft-cristobalite]

Watched arcane season 2 act 1, thought abt it, so here are some of my thoughts in no particular order. Obvious spoilers.

Also, i watched in dub. Important to know when i am quoting charaters + when i am talking about their tone.

Starting of with something that is directly affected by dub — ukrainian Jayce is my Jayce. Ppl said he sounded condesending while talking to Ekko — not. at. alllll. true for my Jayce. My Jayce sounded tired, emotionaly burn out. "You drink tea, Ekko?" said with no though to it, in a context of continues talking of "Haha do i live here? Hahah....... Do you guys want tea? Want some tea? I'll make tea. Do you drink tea, Ekko?". But d-dub is supposed to stay true to the original— I DONT CAREEE. I love my blorbo almost-himbo Jayce, never changing his characterisation in my mind.

And i will hold Jayce's hand when i say this — you were. Just so gay for like... Essentialy going "Are you okay? Good, good" to lady Mel Medarda HERSELF and then seeing Victor and losing your mind. Sprinting with him in your hands to your lab. LIVING in your lab to monitor him. I just... I get it, you don't have many friends. But like...... Really dude. Reaally.

Give Mel and Ekko thirty minutes. I promise you they would work it out. Eternal piece would be achieved.

I know there are a lot of different opinions regarding Caitlyn. I will not be explaining in-depts what i think about her acr, because a) who cares and b) i like to see her go cray-cray. But like — why isnt anybody exept for Vi attempting to stop her??? Like why is Jayce mourning Victor's twink death instead of, yk, stopping his childhood-best-friend-kinda-younger-sister from killing ppl of Zaun, the last thing Victor wants btw? She and Vi are twenty-ish — WHYYYY are they going through it by themselves??? Why doesnt baby yoda guy with German name that i dont dare to write trying to stop the daughtrer of his ex-collegue? He is 600 or something, im sure he could've come up with advice.

Cait pointing her gun at a child is terrifying, it opens up the possibilities of her going even more blinded with anger, doing even more horrific things, and Vi is right to try and stop her. However... I know damn right i would've believe her when she said she will not miss 😭 Every single time she fired her gun she was very precise. Even in that scene she aimed at the gun the girl was holding like two seconds ago and got a perfect. fucking. score. Like i dont remember her missing at all, actually.

"Ohhhhh you're gonnnaaa haaaaaattteeee Maddie after act two—" says who? On that note, i hope both Cait AND Vi will sleep with a few random people. Good for them. Let them try to forget about each other only to realise just how down bad they are for one another. Let the scenes of Cait and Maddie hooking up intertwine with Vi's one night stand.

"Maddie is just gonna be a victim of comander Cait :(((" and i do not have any thing to say to that — we dont yet KNOW what will happen — but I dont think Cait will try to manipulate her into this. I think Maddie will flirt a bit, Cait will try and seek salvage and vulnerability in someone, especially since she is now constantly in public's eye and needs to project hope™ and stoicism™. It will be a genuine attempt to move on — not anybody's fault she can't.

But oh god, oh goooddd i cant wait for Maddie to loose the spark in her eyes due to lesbian situationship.

[nikiluv]

I JUST WANNA SAY THAT I ACCIDENTALY RANTED!!😭 u dont have to post or answer to this but i had to get this off my chest. but bro ppl who in this fandom are literally so soft istg😭its so irritating like. they treat riki like he's a fucking kid when he's 18 turning 19🤦‍♀️so he's a YOUNG MAN!! A MAN A GROWN ONE BTW who just so happens to b young like what's so hard to grasp. Nbs saying you have to treat him like he done experienced every walk of life, but at the end of the day he's still a man and he should b treated accordingly. and it esp pisses me off cuz they have no issue sexualizing the other members specifically the hyung line. and ofc I see other ppl kinda fester this energy into sunoo and jungwon even tho its mainly riki. I vividly rmb someone making a tiktok AS A JOKE!! saying I wanna get aten by sunoo like that when he inhaled a cake and ppl were doing entirely TOO MUCHHH!! and she rightfully called them out saying if it was heeseung or jake nb would care and ppl would agree and its like literallyyy. I've also seen ppl on here say they won't wrote smut for sunoo and riki and its like there's nothing wrong with that at all but why are we leaving out jungwon like hello?? hes very much still apart of that line and sunoo is older than both of them so its like?? if u leave one out leave them all out😭🤦‍♀️i could name so much more examples but this is alr getting so long. but I also had to mention the fact that I VIVIDLY rmb when jungwon turned 18 or 19 or wtv age ppl immediately started pumping out smuts with absolutely no fuss and its like?? WHERE WAS THIS ENERGY AT W NIKI???At least keep the same energy if u do ts like. And its just so much that plays into it too because everyone knows enhypen is catered towards women. I feel like that was their first mistake but on top of that it brought in a lot of young girls who's minds clearly still aren't developed and they feel as tho its like their job?? to protect them when in reality half of the group could literally be their uncle or something. Idk its just so irritating to see ts within a fandom because although I don't claim any kpop fandom anymore. I use to b a engene at some point and a nctzen at some point and LEMME TELL YOUUUU its such a difference!! although ncity has had its moments that was like the only kpop fandom who were actually funny and wouldn't baby none of the members. even if u were underage they would still treat u accordingly without sexualizing u. idk ima stop here cuz this is getting to long but its just so much shit wrong w engenes. like I said earlier u don't have to read or answer to this!! but engenes just annoy the heck outta me🤦‍♀️

it’s fine, what you say was facts tho, like I was an nctzen arnd 2020-2022 ish, and like no nctzen smut blogs said anything about jisung smut being wrote, I mean there where that didn’t agree with it but no hate comments or anything

To me it’s so insane about how people write so much crazy shit about jw but don’t keep the same energy w sunoo and riki

For sunoo it’s probably because he is portrayed at “more feminine” which is just his image, and also because of his sunsun ship etc etc

To me it’s if you wanna give the same energy to Niki, keep that energy towards ALL of Enhypen, don’t just “defend” Niki, talking about writing smut for him just to make yourself better

And the craziest thing is those that are super pressed are always the Enhypen smut blogs ? Like bro ??? Ur writing smut too, what are you on about?? (If it’s fluff blogs then I understand because they do not want to see them, which is valid, so just block, it’s fine, you don’t have to see things you do not want to, no need to send hate )

I really detest that people wanna write the craziest most lewd shit for the rest of Enhypen but when someone writes something for riki even slightly suggestive or fluff smut , they go berserk? Like dude, u go on and on about how we should not sexualise them, then don’t write smut ? Bffr 🤣

[fanofthelamb]

So I went dumpster diving in my tablet for the first lamb I ever drew and WOW... I found a lot of sketches I really don't plan on revisiting. I am jsut gonna dump them below the cut for people to see!! Some of it is lore related, some of it is shit I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HATE, but IDC!!! I will post it anyway for the tumblr users who I keep an eye on my notifs for. (yes, i see you guys. even if i dont always interact I see you and love you guys)

Anyway, here is the earliest drawin I have of me drawing the lamb!! I am going to write a comment under a lot of these to add context to them.

A cute little baby <3333 but I struggled a LOT of figuring out what the lamb was wearing, I eventually figured it out though. (I hope)

if you know, you know. (RIP VAL)

for my BTG AU. I decided I no longer wanted chemach to make the [spoiler] for the lamb, though, so I scrapped this

vaaaal,,,,,, i was still learning how to draw him, i wish i put pants on him but do those even exist in COTL? (yes)

I haven't been able to do much with them because I'm putting other stuff first, but Brear has two kids, Notre and Brejul who Narinder absolutely ADORES. he is the one who babysits.

fun fact but the lamb being touch repulsed is a projection LOL. i hate it when people touch me it feels so tickly and makes me want to bite their faces off. (but i am touch starved and i LOVE to show affection to other ppl, esp thru back rubs)

yes, they have a hoop for personal space. no, ill never use it.

drum corcl,,,, i love the little dancing guy that comes from the drums

more narinder and brear. they're not romantically interested in each other, but he is absolutely head over heels for brear, their brother, and the kids. they even call him dad sometimes.

[no context]

kallamar and leshy before their crowns. the scene i have related to this isn't happening anymore, but it was leshy begging to be taught to swim.

another "the one who baby sits" doodle. the bishops all came into the cult with a very good repuation thanks to narinder. he likes to tell the kids of the cult stories about how amazing his siblings were. at first, it was just to nobre and brejul with stories about leshy(he missed leshy a lot even though he was still mad at him, and the two reminded narinder of his time with leshy), but then it escalated into him hosting storytimes with larger groups after they started repeating some of the stories he'd tell them.

unfinsihed stuff about with the lamb and thier mom. their mom wasn't afraid of the bishops at all, but knew that they were a still a threat to her and her child's life. the lamb did NOT care for anyone thier mom didn't approve of/enthusiastically liked. they were much more afraid of the bishops than their mother.

i do not actually know if i posted this.i dont think so, but i giggle every time i scroll past it

brear and nobre <333

im still workong on BTG shit, and i post a little bit of the characters on here even tho the comics are going to be posted elsewhere. they have a "crownlike" beak, but a body part. there's different creatures who became gods through different ways; crowns are one way but their power is stuck with the crown and they are considered extremely weak compared to other gods. i wont blabber on about it tho.

so many sketches has random lines through em because i work with a tablet,,, i hate it. anyway, narinder and kallamar everybody!

sketches i made but didn't bother to finish of me and merbre,,,,,,,,, my husband #1 <3 them w/ narinder + merbre arent gonna be considered "canon" but damn it ill self-ship with them until i get a follower i can WORK with

i come back to this every few weeks and im never happy with it, i dont know if ill finish this but i think about them........ before the divorce </3

unused from an ask

heartstealer. menace. you can rip my heart out anytime, leshy <3

dreshy. he LOVES dresses and being pretty and cute and pretty. he sucks narinder into a lot and heket will sometimes join in if he demands asks her to <3

another unused drawing from an ask i'll eventually answer. (mildly offended at being called a mutton cube.)

.... aaand WOW! I think that's everything guys!! things are still kinda wild but they're calming down a little bit. idk how much longer it's gonna last like this but I have some energy so I made a way-too-long post showing off art I wasn't supposed to post! Awesome. :D

[haemosexuality]

thoughts on the fionna and cake ending

-it was a bit boring. ok not Boring just, not on the same level as all the other eps? especially not on the same level as the previous two (the star+jerry). like it was more of a Cake the Cat ep. it was fine just not world shattering and thats fine ig

-that being said the casper&nova scenes were sooooo boring i couldnt care less. it kinda made me feel like they wanted to show shermy and beth but didnt know how so they just made up whatever??? it wouldve been cool to see more of future Ooo instead of. whatever that was. they couldve made the parallel to simon and betty some other way. or even if they absolutely Needed to show thay weird video game they couldve made it like one scene and shorter lol. tho the detail of it had being astrid that started the story was cute

-i actually liked the resolution to betty and simons relationship. again they couldve shown More of it instead of it just having like, one scene, but i liked how they did it. getting them back together in a fairytail Everything Works Out And Theyre Happy Ever After!!!! wouldve completely taken away from how tragic their entire story is, but making something even worse happen wouldve just made simon feel worse and his character development wouldnt.... exist much lol. having simon come to terms with it, SEND HIM TO THERAPY THANK FUCK and try to move on w his life is exactly what i was hoping for

and i looooove how they portrayed their relationship. ive seen ppl be mad ab it but like didnt yall like that is was codependent and insane and they were obsessed w each other to the point theyd destroy their life for one another? OBVIOUSLY its going to be unhealthy. thats not saying simon is a bad person, or that they didnt love each other. they obviously did. simon loved betty more than anything. but he was selfish. unintentionally, yeah, he didnt realize how dependent/obsessed she was with him and that she just went along with anything he did which i dont feel its his fault, but it still happened, and it still affected her, it made her get deeper into that. its a new spin on their relationship that feels really real and i really like that. yeah turns out that when ppl are so obsessed w someone that they go insane and almost destroy the world twice thats probably indicative thay theres something wrong there who wouldve thought!!!!

adventure time is The "people have flaws" show (bonnie, marcy, finn, jake, etc etc all the characters are shown to be selfish sometimes snd to varying degrees! and theyre all still good people! theyre still just people) so it feels a bit insane to see ppl acting like the show saying "simon too btw" means theyre portraying him as irredemably bad

-i didnt want the fionna world to completely change and go back to bein magic but i was at least hoping the characters world :( like a "modern with magic" situation it wouldve been cool. and the farm/baby/vampworld characters coming in felt a bit random but like eh sure whatever

-IM SO PISSED FIONNA DIDNT LOSE HER ARM

-i dont think the lack of resolution in all the universes we visited was a bad thing? like i dont even feel like its "lack or resolution" i just felt like. thats how the stories were meant to be told. we come into a world that has nothing to do with us and then we leave them behind, yk? its not our world so we just pass by and dont know how it ends. leave it up to imagination. i thought it was cool we dont need to know Everything

-we shouldve seen marcy and simon interacting when he got back. even if it was just like a interaction without dialogue in some sort of epilogue sequence theyre so incredibly important to each others story and the show even made sure to show us that and we get nothing????? the lack of a scene where he talks to her about how hes feeling and how he almost put on the crown again felt so!! FRUSTATING. the scene in ep two where he calls her even felt like it was setting up for a scene like that! im so mad we got nothing. like i understand the adventure time market is flooded with marceline so maybe they didnt want to focus on her much but still theyre too linked for that relationship to get completely ignored in the Last Fucking Episode of the show

-the implication of fern/phoebe made me pause the episode and stare at a wall for a moment. auaugh.

-SO NO MARSHALL SONG?? *THROWS LAPTOP AT A WALL*

-WHY DID THEY DO NOTHING WITH FIONNA AND CAKE GLITCHING STUFF????? WHY EVEN SET THAT UP IF IT GOES NOWHERE UGHH

-im glad they finally made the lich a bit more interesting instead of Ooh spooky guy is evil

-simon getting therapy from minervabot was awesome 10/10

-once again saying im mad they let fionna keep both her arms. BOOOOOOO 👎👎👎👎👎👎👎

[okifyouinsist]

tagged by @killerandhealerqueen (i just keep forgetting abt this one SIGH but i have free time rn and im committed)

1. why did you choose your url?

growing up, i just wasn't a social media girl purely bc of the fact that my parents were super strict and I assumed they wouldn't allow me to have it and I just never really saw the appeal anyways. Then later a few friends basically forced me to make my first account and because i wasn't very creative and thought i was the funniest bitch ever i made my first user 'ifyouinsist' and it just kinda stuck ig

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

nope. i fear if i had a sideblog id end up neglecting it and forget abt it or make it my new main blog and neglect this blog and this blog is literally my baby

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

well i've had an account since like end of 2019, beginning of 2020???? (im pretty sure) i didnt like use my account tho i just had it to look at other ppls blogs not my own, i only acc recently made up my blog up properly and started posting this year when it was like 2 am and i was on holiday to visit my home country and my mum and my aunts were gossiping and i was like whatever who tf cares how late i am to a fandom and the rest was history

4. do you have a queue tag?

nope, my drafts are a terrifying place and if they ever saw light id die

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

to reblog pretty art and to compliment writers on ao3 AND on tumblr bc they deserve everything and more

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

logan sargeant. need i say any more???? hes my bsf in spirit

7. why did you choose your header?

loscar. LOSCAR. loscar. i am very much totally normal abt them i swear (lying through my teeth rn). they're just my everything unfortunately and sometimes i like to say the fist bump is their version of intertwining their fingers together

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

ik this bc it was the first i myself made and it was abt loscar obviously and i thought i was SO funny (im not) and its lowk still such a flop post but its MY flop post so here it is :)

9. how many mutuals do you have?

idk man im shy (scared of rejection) so i dont have a lot, like genuinely let me go see acc, oh ig its me and my 14 moots against the world i love you guys fr

10. how many followers do you have?

BYE my 26 followers are my 4 lifers fr (im such a flop this is hilarious)

11. how many people do you follow?

37 (sigh need to follow more ppl RN)

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

im gonna be so real idk what defines as a shit post but most probably yeah

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

idk im acc really inconsistent like ill be MIA for 2 whole days and the next week ill be on tumblr like for most of my day when i can its very confusing like today ive not been on it a lot im academically locking in and all that

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

ummm no. like. if i see someone i follow getting hate ill send them a supportive ask and then at the end of it be like anon ur such a loser get a life but other than that. nope.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

im very much neutral abt them, like idc if i need to reblog it yk if i want to i will if i dont then i wont

16. do you like tag games?

YES (said in a very normal voice)

17. do you like ask games

YES. i love getting asks id cry if someone sent an ask (i have one rotting away from a moot rn i WILL answer it i swear)

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

can i say all my moots. i wanna say all my moots they're all famous in my eyes guys, i start tagging its gonna end with all my moots being tagged but like @killerandhealerqueen and @dwarvenchords were the first 2 ppl to come to my mind theyre both just the coolest fr

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

nah. i have FRIEND crushes on literally all of them tho. wanna be their friends SO bad

20. what is the last song you listened to?

Mamichula- Bizarrap

21. what are you currently watching?

in my docuseries era rn watching breakpoint (STILL)(i only have time on the weekends rn SIGH)

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy?

sweet. im such a 'lets skip the dinner and just get dessert' kinda girl

23. what is your current relationship status?

this is SUCH a complicated question to answer but heavily leaning more towards single

24. what is your current obsession?

sports. like just sports in general. like ive always been a casual fan of sports but i never used to take a deep dive into it but this year i decided to dive, and i dived VERY deep, so like motorsports, tennis, football, cricket, trying to get into hocky rn im collecting them atp. also. documentaries. like when i get time ill be binge watching like 5 documentaries i just love them sm

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

wish i could tell you fr, i mean, rn im re listening to SOUR by Olivia Rodriguez AGAIN bc thats the way my life is going SIGH, Olivia is my favourite basic artist fr, nothing compares to listening to SOUR for the first time in 2021

ANYWAYS, thanks again for the tag i really appreciate it, im gonna tag @ezisregrettinglifedecisions @fabeong @whatssthepooiintt

[souvenir116]

Fic Writer Interview 🌸

ty for the tag @13834 ❤️❤️

How many works do you have on ao3?

16 with anonymous works included

What’s your total word count?

295k

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

vanilla carnations, kiss it better, pick a lane, driving under influence, once i pull this trigger off

Do you respond to comments? Why/ why not?

i usually try to buy sometimes i get behind or wait for a day to answer all together after posting a chap then forget 💔 but i usually try to make time because comments always mean so much to me

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

i don't do angst endings normally but maybe mind break of a character starting to want someone that actually has harmed them before? yeah

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

i think it's vanilla carnations there was literally a proposal 😭😭

Do you write crossovers?

no

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I cant remember each one but this one tops all and we talked about it for a couple days w friends

then decided it was better this way 😁

(it was ltrlly just angry sex and Max coming inside Charles before they have to go to the team debrief bcz Charles crashes into Max, kind of deliberately)

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i can do all unfortunately 😔 omegaverse, rule 63, [redacted] etc... I was birthing fic after fic for kinkmeme once (now i can't even properly write smut 💔)

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no as far as i know

Have you ever had a fic translated?

ppl asked for permission before but I'm not sure if they eventually finished it!!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes... w my baby @a-amvryllis but we both didnt have time so it kinda dropped out. and tbh I think there are a few people my writing matches exactly as someone who writes so descriptive and meanless poetic words, but we could always meet in the middle!!

What's your all-time favourite ship?

im going to be rlly honest when i say lestappen is my first ship and probably last other than Justin Bieber and me in 2015 💔

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

idt ill finish that girl Charles fic for the fest... I dont think people liked it also but i decided to use that ending plot in another fic since it would be more fitting lol

What are your writing strengths?

i can write fast when I'm in mood. once i wrote 8k in a day. the words will just flow and ill be so thankful

What are your writing weaknesses?

tbh im not sure? i like my writing and we all have writers block from time to time, but sometimes i wish i had a better vocabulary but also vocab means nothing if you're going to make ppl open dictionaries every 10 word 😭 also paragraph starts. i hate starting them w "charles max max charles a but charles" if you get what i mean so i especially pay attention on it every new paragraph to make the reading easier 😭

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i always add a () for the english version if I'm going to keep the foreign dialogue just a bit, because come on no one needs to switch between tabs on translate/fic, but if its long, then adding a subtle detail about how they keep the convo in that language and writing in italicized is cool. i also will write dutch and french pet names so randomly. i dont care if it sounds bad for native people im not a native for both 💔

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

f1

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

galex. i actually started it but its still a wip with also lestappen and landoscar going on!! so theres no main ship but like.. a sitcom kind of friend group consisting of couples. yup

What's your favourite fic you've written?

because its my first, and i like the scenario so much, brainstorming w many irls, i think its a very good plot- oiptto. alas i had some people telling me the writing is rlly bad which is, cool, it was my first time writing a fic let alone in english. if you ask about writing, even if i wrote vanilla carnations so fast, i think its rlly nice written also @a-amvryllis helped me sooo much about each event and plots (and i do believe it was creative all of them in general) so i would say that.

tagging every author who wants to do that but randomly @a-amvryllis @blueberry-obsessed @bumblewyn @eterniravioli @f1-giuki @fueledbyremembering @lovelylotusf1 @lestappenforever @laura1633 @paint-it-red-and-black @saviour-of-lord in alphabetic order so i won't forget anyone 😭🩷

[choking-on-ice]

South Park College Headcanons

I lost power for most to the day today, so I sat at a coffee shop and just killed time writing down headcanons for every SP character I could think of.

there's alot of them, but hopefully somebody out there finds these fun

Butters

Gender fluid / non-conforming

Saved up enough to move into dorms away from their parents

Autistic and very gullible still

has learned to stand up for themself and their friends better

Got fed up in senior year and spiked Cartman's drink w/ laxatives and locked him outside at a house party

Ppl secretly fear them a lil after that

Kept their baby face and a bit of chub

Still plays for Stan's death metal band

has a strange relationship w/ Kyle (who's grappling w/ some denied queerness)

still an absolute sweetheart

drinks at parties and smokes w/ friends, even tho everyone assumes they dont

their parents still totally suck

Kenny

revolving door of jobs cuz he gets bored easily, but is always selling weed on the side

Ran into more drug problems through highschool after his troubles cheesing

Went to rehab with Tweek and Stan, got clean, and is closer to them than ever before now

Butters stood by him at the peak of his addiction and now he would (and probably has) jump in front of a bullet for him

Joined the robotics club in HS

Pursuing an engineering degree w/ an academic scholarship

Still works as Mysterion, just w/out the undies over his pants

thinks it's funny to cockblock his friends

is kind of a player, but not a dick abt it

flirts alot, thinks it's fun to flirt w/ Tweek and Butters bc they never grew immune to his BS like the others

the idea of one of them reciprocating any flirting is terrifying to him tho

cuz he has a massive inferiority complex and lives in denial that he has real romantic feelings for anyone

ultimate rizz

Stan

Still fronts his death metal band

hopeless romentic

Bonded w/ Tweek over their crappy home lives when Tweek starts delivering to Tegridy Farm

Grew closer w/ Kenny when he found out he was in the same rehab program as him and Tweek

stronk farmboy, also p tanned which juxtaposes his alt style

Opens up to smoking weed in college now that he's sober

emotionally intelligent

NOT emotionally communicative / available tho

bottles stuff up

only knows how to vent when drunk, then later thru music

Kyle

jaded w/ a chip on his shoulder

prone to knee jerk reactions

throws hands at the drop of a hat

usually throws the first punch

kept playing sports after hs - football in college and basketball recreationally

did debate w/ wendy in HS

still bffs with stan, even tho they dont have many shared hobbies anymore

Craig

autistic

rizzless

doesn't rlly need game tho cuz he's only had eyes for Tweek, and Tweek's a mess

monotone + flat expression intimidates some people

has rep of being an asshole, it's only half true

is considered rebellious, but he just sees it as doing what he wants to do not what other ppl want him to

slow to anger, has never thrown the first punch

grew up to be tall and broad like his father at his age

his dad pushed him into playing football, after HS he only plays bc his friends are on the team and doesn't care much about winning

likes old school indie music, underground shows, and obscure bands, isn't pretentious about it tho

when Kenny tells him about the Tweek's drugging Tweek (and the rest of town) he loses it and has to get talked down from strangling Mr Tweek

Tweek

autistic + adhd

loves deathmetal, hardstyle EDM, death rap, and hardcore music in gen

bonds w/ Stan in late HS as he makes deliveries for the coffee shop up to the farm

Kenny and him are acquainted since Kenny delivers ingerdients to the shop

loves fantasy - LoTR, D&D, etc.

Trans FtM (cuz i am and i project onto my faves lol)

Finds out from Craig and Kenny that his parents have been drugging him w/ meth in the coffee since he was a child

spirals after this and has trouble trusting people, questioning everything and everyone in his life

becomes rlly close w/ Kenny and Stan when they all attend rehab together

moves out before HS even ends, couch surfing for the summer until he can move into the dorms

sobering up lets him gain some weight and he begins to look less sickly

I have more on the other characters, but I have arthritis and typing this much killed my fingers already. Hope u enjoyed if u got this far

[emmyrosee]

hiya emmy! im sky and i rlly liked ur writing! i saw ur post and wanted to request smth :) uh.. so i kinda feel like i cant show my true self to anyone, like the people around me, even my family only see parts of my real personality. for example, my parents see my goofy and studious side, but dont see my side where i rlly like anime, and my friend group see my studious bright side but dont see the side where im a fangirl by heart. so, i wanted to request a bakusquad and reader, mostly kaminari x reader (hes my comfort character) where the reader has different personalities around ppl, like being quiet and shy around others and adults, being nice and caring around most ppl, and kaminari notices this? and he tries to make the reader comfortable and as the reader grows closer to the bakusqaud aka. kaminari’s friends, the reader becomes more open with them, showing them their real self. tysm for writing rlly good stuff that make my day!! have a good day and stay healthy!! :D -sky

Hey hey hey sky!! Glad to have you here!! You should definitely feel free to be your true self bc you sound awesome!! Don’t feel like you need to keep what makes you happy hidden, because who cares if they don’t like it? Enjoyment is free baby, and as long as you’re not hurting yourself or others, go off and do your thing!! 🥹❤️

On to the piece!

-

You were…. Different, to say the least.

Not in a “mysterious” kind of way, or at least not that Kaminari could see; you just seemed to chameleon with whoever you came into contact with.

And that’s fine, he’s seen Shinsou do it nearly every day they hang out together. He knows better than to press or question it, but he does think it’s an interesting way to go about it.

With Shinsou, it’s very consistent- he’s stoic and snappy when he’s with others, snorty and great at video games with his friends.

That doesn’t seem to be quite the case for you.

Instead, since you’re new to the group, you seem to code with everyone; with Kaminari himself, you’re bubbly, giggling at everything he says and loud in the best ways, extremely affectionate and always nudging him for attention. Kirishima has you at your most reassuring, validating each other and never letting one be defeated. Sero has you going on adventures to the gas station at ungodly hours of the night. Mina gets to see the more reactive side of you, be it from online window shopping or whatever you’re watching, and Bakugou seems to have the part of you that loves silence and anime and his island in animal crossing, and the few times Kaminari has interrupted said hangout, you’ve been so far from the bubbliness he’s used to seeing from you and in a new wash of calm.

Teachers have you at your most studious, always so quick to offer help and an answer to questions, never short to volunteer yourself.

It’s definitely not bad, far from it! He admires it about you… but he does wonder who you really are, what part of you is the most present when you let it be known.

He wants to think it’s the bubbly, loving one you’ve given him the privilege of dating, but lately he’s not so sure. You’ve been mixing up the codes, and while he doesn’t mind at all, you seem to.

You’ve distanced yourself from it, from the group and from him; and after months of Kaminari working up every last nerve and pickup line to have you on his arm, he’s not about to let that slip.

And by the graces of whatever gods’ watch from above, it’s not just him that notices either; almost everyone in the squad asks him where you run off to (save for Bakugou, though Kaminari sees the way his head turns quickly when your whereabouts are questioned.)

It’s comforting to know they want you present just as bad as he does.

It’s also comforting that Sero knows your dorm code- look, Denki tried to remember, but he forgets, okay, he’s not a bad guy for that, Mina- and has no shame in blazing into your room like a man on a mission.

Good thing you weren’t sleeping. Or naked, Kaminari thinks in relief.

“Friend meeting,” Sero announces, barging into your room with no other warning. It makes you jump up in bed with a scream, but once you realize it’s just the squad, you scoff and hide under the covers.

“I’m not in the mood.”

“It’ll be quick.”

With a whimper, you burrow deeper under the sheets, and Kaminari gently rests on the bed, hand gently easing over your back to calm you. “We just wanted to check in on you... I... like, we haven’t seen you in a while.”

When you poke your eyes out from the sheets, they quickly scan over the hurt expressions of the group, and the absolutely heart broken one of Kaminari, his golden pools curling up in worry.

“You’re making a big deal out of nothing,” you grumble, sitting up and scooting towards the corner of your bed. You do reach for Kaminari’s hand to hold, fiddling with his fingers softly. “Is it impossible to imagine I could want some space?”

“You’ve ditched me like, three times,” Bakugou snaps. “The last time we hung out, you got all nervous and dipped. Nice try, though.”

You shift softly in the sheets, “you clearly didn’t want me there-”

“Don’t assume shit I don’t say, dumbass!”

“As much as it pains me to side with bombshell hair,” Sero sighs, promptly shushing Bakugou’s offended snarling, “you’ve been distant with me too. At first I just thought you didn’t want to chill with me anymore, but then everyone kind felt like something was up.”

“Even when we were hanging out,” Mina says softly, crossing her arms almost protectively. “You made a joke I didn’t hear, then you apologized and snuck out of the room.” She shakes her head gently, “and I don’t ever want you to feel unwelcome in my room but you don’t have to feel pressured to hang out with us, we just-”

“You just don’t get it!” You snap, making everyone flinch back in surprise. “You’re just being dramatic! I haven’t been ignoring anyone, or distant, or-”

“We didn’t mean to make you upset,” Kaminari says softly, cutting off your ranting. He looks sad, like you’ve kicked him, and it puts you in even more of a crisis. “I was... we were just worried about you. It came from a good place, but ‘m sorry we made you upset.”

You give him a shaky sigh, “you didn’t, I just...” you gnaw at your lip while concerned eyes glaze your face. “There’s nothing wrong with me acting one way or another when I spend time with you all.”

A chorus of ‘totally!’’s and ‘of course!’’s fill the air, and your waterline swells with stabbing tears because their eyes still bore into yours for answers because they clearly still don’t get it-

“I just don’t feel the need to be 100% myself all the time when you clearly already like the company I give.”

“But why do you feel the need to hide any percent of yourself?”

“Because!”

“Because why?”

“Because what if you don’t like the real me all the time!”

This, now, has the whole room quiet, Kaminari’s heart aching for putting you on the spot. You look like you want to cry in embarrassment, but your hands stay clenched and bottom lip wobbling.

“Oh, sweetie,” Mina whispers, standing up and quickly making her way next to you. Her head rests on your shoulder lovingly, and you sniffle and lean your own head against hers.

“Of course we’ll like the real you,” Kirishima assures.

“I mean, we adore the you that you show each of us,” Sero adds, smiling encouragingly. “The only thing better is knowing that you’re giving us all of you.”

“You know I’m gonna adore you,” Kaminari promises, creeping next to you and gently knocking his head against yours. You offer him a choked laugh before threading your fingers through his hair, letting him nuzzle against you fondly. “The only one who might not is Bakugou.”

“You leave me out of this,” he grumbles. “I deal with the rest of you idiots, one more ain’t gonna kill me.”

A Bakugou Katsuki way of saying “I’ll still want to hangout with you; no matter what.”

You give them all a shaky sigh before curling closer to Denki, tucking your face in his neck. He quickly wraps his arms around you, as if protecting you from your own worst judgements.

“You’re just saying that,” you whimper. His nose nuzzles into the crown of your head, gently rocking you both back and forth.

“We’re not,” Kirishima promises, kneeling down in a hopes to get into your eye line. “There’s a side of you we’re all used to, sure… but there’s so many other parts to you we’d kill to see.”

“And who cares if we don’t?” Bakugou scoffs; it causes everyone in the group to glare at him briefly, and he rolls his eyes, “don’t give me that look! Do you know how freeing that shit will be? That you don’t have to worry about what others “want” to see from you? You ain’t gonna lose us, so you may as well just be the person you want to be, whenever you want to be.”

Slowly, you sit up, letting his words sink in and settle inside your sinking heart. It does make a small spark of hope become alight, and with a small smile, you nod at him. 

“Surprisingly, that was probably the most reassuring thing I’ve heard,” you chuckle.

Denki plants a kiss to your pounding head, the action soothing the ache briefly. “Who coulda guessed Kacchan would be the most comforting of us?” He teases, and you watch with a string of laughter as Bakugou’s shoulders hike defensively.

“Watch your mouth,” he snaps. “Don’t make me regret the whole ‘kindness’ shit.”

“Might think you’re growing soft on me, Bakugou,” you tease.

“Not soft for any one of you assholes! This is why I’m never nice to you dickheads!”

“You liiiiike me.”

“I DO NOT!”

It was obvious to everyone, however, that with all the thoughts laid out and Katsuki being the one to read right through you, there has to be even a little bit of affection in that head of his.

Affection for all sides of you- from all of them.

[silenthillprincess]

big rant but who cares if all someone talks about when they talk about PD is cannibalism? who cares? i dont. doesn’t affect me. if it affects you block ‘em queen it’s your phone but everyone being angry all the time about how someone else is discussing/internalizing/talking about music makes the fandom generally unenjoyable and hard to interact with especially when everything is a contest of who can find the “deepest” layer of the album to contemplate.

if you’re a normal person who kindly suggests looking deeper into the album’s other themes to further other’s enjoyment and experience you’re an angel baby and i love you and this is not about you baby girl sweetie pie you can just scroll and keep being a little gift from god okay? get yourself a little treat and a glass of water yeah?

poorly done tldr: why are we surprised a popular album that mentions cannibalism attracts fans of cannibalism and why are we being incredibly cruel to them for liking it!

(contd below)

but if you comment shit about how they’re fake fans or shallow or dumb or “obviously didn’t REALLY listen to it” this is def for you. if you are normal about your opinions i repeat this is not for you. just scroll

also i’m very high writing all of this so any lore discrepancies are because my brain is sooo scrambled but i’m trying here

But anyways: you don’t have to agree with the person no one’s holding you at gunpoint asking you to or at least i’m not. but you also don’t have to hate in them for it because who fucking cares? no one interacts with ethel cain content just to see someone in the comments going “um it’s NOT just about cannibalism y’know. what a shallow interpretation you obviously didn’t understand it. you didn’t really listen to the album if that’s the most interesting part to you. you’re a fake fan and dumb stupid dummy.” (<this is an exaggerated mock up of the general sentiment. i’m not good at capturing their extremely condescending tone while also being void of actual insult because i’m a nice person almost 24/7)

also, if the other themes are so interesting and important to you: talk about them yourself. i want to hear your thoughts! you have good ideas but you’re making others feel bad for no real reason. like imagine if you shared an opinion about this album or another and I insulted it? you wouldn’t like that would you? also (i can’t believe i have to explain this) some people don’t connect with the other themes of the album or do but less so. some people just really like cannibalism metaphors. it could just be their fav part of the album. plus they’re not official music analyzers (not even a real job i’m pretty sure) what they say doesn’t have to change your opinion and doesn’t affect the art at all. they are an account on tumblr. their interpretation shouldn’t upset you to the point where you have to go out of your way to insult their ideas or intelligence. also not to be that girl but it’s the most shocking part of the album UH DUH PPL FOCUS ON IT. a first time listener is obviously going to go “holy shit he ate her” and talk talk talk about it bc name another pretty popular album at this time that talks (well, sings) about cannibalism. and to go on: not everyone is some deep critic. make the jokes, hyper focus on it if you want, and don’t let random tumblr accounts make you feel bad. i love the other aspects of the album and tend to focus on them the most but that’s not a rule or a law. its just a preference of the albums themes the same way you have one and they have one and you should respect it because it’s not hurting anyone. everyone will be fine and nothing will change except that you didn’t whine about how they’re interpreting music the wrong way and everyone will be happier and i will not have to scroll past your hate comment and think “ugh somebody gag this bitch” (side note: you can argue that the objective right way to interpret art is the same way the artist does how boring would that be? make it personal girl! have fun!)

anyways if you get mad about this check yourself because it’s text on a screen telling you to let ppl live and leave them alone and if that really pisses you off…well…you got other problems. little nervous to post but i really feel like i’m right here because if we could all scroll #ethelcain without intermittent hate posts directed towards other fans for thinking a thought and instead just more content related to the art i think we’d all be happier. i’d like to add that it’s not an overwhelming amount of posts, not a flood or saturation, just enough that i’m like “why! why are you fighting! you like the same thing! be friends!”

secondary point (unrelated mostly): i’ve seen people saying that the metaphor doesn’t exist inside the album and it’s a bit of a muddy opinion about that on my part. i don’t believe isaiah’s consumption of ethel is out of love. it is (in my interpretation) a depraved desire to be filled like the many others humans have but often don’t give in to and also possibly drug enhanced. but as she’s consumed i can’t help but imagine that since she has been chasing love all this time, ethel “finds” it (or rather conjures it out of thin air and the cruelty exacted upon her) for her own comfort as many of us do when being butchered (in the metaphorical sense for us i hope, stay safe out there). but i will agree with the other side that at the very end of the album the illusion seems to fade, and the metaphor no longer works because ethel no longer believes it was love. she sees that true love was dancing with Willoughby in nebraska with all the windows open, not eaten in a windowless basement by Isaiah (not sure where the actual consumption takes place btw. basement, attic, kitchen table, living room tv dinner style idk)

edit: and if you think Hayden would be into you policing how ppl listen to/interpret her album you’re crazy. she herself was normal about her preferences for these themes, stating her understanding of people en captured by that particularity and her own personal sentiments (negative like many of yours) without making anyone feel bad or coming off as snobbish when asked about it. be more like her! plus no one wants to see infighting while scrolling her hashtag! respectful debates yes but jabs at intelligence no!

more edits: this post is meant to end infighting, not elicit a negative/aggressive response. its is supposed to inspire you to be quiet instead of mean. i also do not collect the aforementioned posts like weird trophies to show you when you say “but i haven’t seen that“ good! that’s great! but i’m a normal girl so i don’t have them screenshotted and ready to serve to you on a silver platter.

[youremyheaven]

hi, this is my second time sending it and i pray you receive it. i'm the 22yo anon with the relationships, social dread and sexuality question. ill try my best to rewrite as quick as possible. i would like to be guided and need your big sister advise,,, i don't know how to ask and word my issues smoothly 😓😓,,, (context- ive known to be demiromantic and little to no fixation on sex, on the asexual spectrum?) so i just turned 22 and have a crush and looks like he too likes me the same and im sure its going to get serious,, i have been nervous about talking about my preferences with my crush because someday i have to explain to them because i have friends and peers around me asking me to "get some" and that it's normal and it's how it'll change my asexuality?? to them im just faking being uncomfortable around bed talk even though i agree i can be the holiest nun but i do catch myself having the highest libido therefore take care of myself without needing anyone from time to time. pleasing for me felt like an annoying itch that needed to be scratched like most people,,, corn doesn't do it for me so I never understood the hype and didn't feel a thing,,, yes I have crushes but im not aching and wanting to bang them,, a bunch of my peers have at a young age and unsafely which got one of them pregnant, being in indian society it's looked down upon and what my friend had to go through was rough and it had a huge impact,,, though my parents are forward thinking people and openly and safely talked about this topic with me without having shame tied to it and my mother also makes it a comfortable space,, im not shaming anyone who engages in activities like these and i also understand that its human nature and it's how we procreate and evolve yet i still get very uncomfortable around sexual scenes in movies maybe it's my own childhood trauma causing this feeling of dread and discomfort from my childhood,,,,

besides my friends and family, i shared my asexuality to my aunt and baby cousin,,,,, they were supportive but kept being skeptic like my peers would saying this is temporary 💀 that i need to get laid asap which bothered me sm,,, my cousin now (a party, club going personality) too has engaged in activities with her exes since she was a preteen and im the only one in the fam who knows (desi household is no joke) and im worried for her safety though she seems independent but i do feel concerned and wonder if i should let her be because she has been distant and lord knows who she is with next,,,,she's much much younger but coming from a wealthy family kinda looks down on me and for not having any relationship experiences so distanced herself from me which hurts,,, bottom line i feel ostracized to a degree by people i care about and there is this insane pressure to have to talk about my trauma and issues around sex,,, as they say it's a man's birth right and they all want it at some point and so will your crush or men will leave you the minute they get that repulsion??😓

i might consider it for my man someday but i don't want it to affect my relationship with men??

how do i face people when im not taken seriously or call it a nun phase? i don't want to lose men over this and who better than you to ask,,,, im typing and im all teared up,,, i need clarity on how to approach this better without having internalized any pain, guilt for feeling the way i do. you can answer when you're ready and sorry i made it too long 😞😣

This is my third attempt

"this is my third attempt" 😭😭😭

girlie ur not going for JEE mains 😭😭this is just my inbox

(for non desis, JEE is a highly competitive college entrance exam,, ppl prepare for it for YEARS and some ppl commit suicide when they cant crack it 🤡 explaining it is taking the fun away from the joke but thought id give u context <33)

but ANYWAYYYS

first of all dont apologize for the long ask or for sharing your experiences,, I GOTCHU 😘💛

now about your question:

one thing u need to know is that the right person will NEVER EVER make u feel "compelled" to have sex,, ive had partners during my celibate era who i didnt even kiss lol and they were entirely fine with it

pls dont listen to your friends and family and believe that sex is something you OWE your partner/men. i had many nasty friends tell me the same or try to convince me that i "should" do it bc otherwise its not a "real" relationship and im so glad i never listened to them<33

i also know many women who are waiting for marriage to have sex but have boyfriends atm. they all have different degrees of intimacy that they're okay with (some go up to oral and leave penetrative intercourse for marriage, others just kiss, makeout and cuddle) but u can also have a zero intimacy relationship. if a man wants you and wants to be with you, HE WILL DO ANYTHING. i once told a guy (he was 21 and i was 23 and he wanted to date me) that im celibate and dont want to have sex and he said "thats perfectly fine, i didnt ask you out to sleep with you, i want to be with you, whatever your terms are, thats fine by me" and honestly there are MANY such dudes out there,, not every guy is a porn addicted weirdo who believes u OWE them sex 🤮🤢🤢🤮

u dont have to have casual sex if you dont want to!! esp since you're a virgin, i think its important for you to be wise about your partner and choose someone who is considerate and caring!!! THIS IS NOT A RACE, you can have sex later in life, i assure you its nothing special if you feel "compelled" to do it/dont like your partner/dont feel comfortable.

having another person inside u is as intimate as two people can be and it is so vulnerable,, dont rush it and dont do it with someone u dont trust to take you through the experience tenderly!!!

i think you just need to drop your friends lol,, they sound unhealthy

if i dont include my r4pist, then ive had sex with 3 people (i dont actually want to include baldie tbh but 🤢🤮) and 2 of those were with a partner (1 is my current partner) and those experiences were so pleasant and wonderful<3 ive had people tell me i "should" try casual sex 🙄but its not for me and even now i tell you, i have no issues staying celibate, i think its better to just not have sex than to have dissatisfying sex ://

you wont "lose" men over sex lol, you might lose immature men but those are exactly the guys u want nothing to do with!!! its a great way to weed them out!!!

i follow a 5 date rule with sex actually. i have to like him enough to go on atleast 5 dates with him before we do anything intimate,, if he seems impatient or too eager or whatever, then cut his nasty ass out,,

(this is just general advice for anyone, i know you dont want to have sex<3)

stop telling people your personal business btw!! you dont have to share your sex life or lack thereof with all your friends bc its none of their business at the end of the day. ESPECIALLY since they dont seem to understand where youre coming from, you should stop sharing this stuff with them. this is not info that you owe them just bc ya'll are friends. i absolutely hate sharing my personal business with my "friends" and all the times i have, i absolutely regretted it. i hate that kind of interference. like YOU dont get to have an opinion about my life lol??

basically, stay private, you do you, nothing wrong with being asexual or being celibate, sex is overhyped and most men dont know how to fck (sorry to speak facts) and the right partner wont want sex from you. there are men who take care of bedridden partners. love makes anything possible. and i hope you find someone who truly genuinely loves you so that you never have to worry about any of this.

i also hope you get better friends!!!<33

wishing u the best,

Heaven<3

[blueiight]

1. Which kink do you think Louis would have that would surprise Lestat?

2. Do you think this fandoms racism has become more obvious due to Louis being a black creole person? Like I feel like people are more aggressive when they say Louis is top because he’s “rough” and Lestat is this dainty pillow broad.

1) i think it would take a lot to surprise lestat sexually [my dude a #BigOleFreak] but the one thing thatd somewhat unnerve him at first is lou breeding kink.. lestat has a very hobbled relationship w being the architect of creation meanwhile louis is like begging to be bred and plugged up so the baby can take. lestat would come around to it & meanly tease lou about it tho :3 if anything i feel like lestat is the one w/ hyperspecific kinks that unnerve louis and take him more time to get used to [we talmbout virginal catholic pimp who despite selling sex and being the voyeur to numerous sexual encounters, his only actual sexual experiences were handjobs & secretly getting head from younger guys prior to les… les got freudian relations & semi normal (nicki) relations, hes been w / men and women before, hes a real freak. i think lestat is a bratty vers whos dom top ways r activated in the presence of louis omega pillow princess pheromones lol]

2) when ppl hear an accusation of a ‘racism’, their only thoughts is some caricature of a confederate/nazi/klan member screaming that they dont want ‘woke’ [if not using the racial slur w/o the euphemism] vampires. when in reality, racism manifested in fan spaces which are predominately composed of white women / white lgbt w/ #blm stickers or bio posts, who have black friends, maybe have even dated or fucked somebody black, manifests as the beliefs they have internalized bc of cultural messaging around black people. their inability to recognize & analyze evident traits in black charas, the inability to relate to the ‘other’, shoving characters who r not such at all into these narrow stereotypes of the mandingo archetype, the stoic black brute, etc. etc. so when they hear us say ‘fandom racism’, they seem to think we’re calling them klan members & personally insulting them. diverting an observation on trends & cultural messaging to personal feelings, so a bystander can go omg how could u do that :( like i said, idrk or care for low bar discourse or throwing shit on ppl but i do think its funny to see ppl make les a dainty delicate waif off 1 hate sex scene that we dont even rly see all the way c. the other scenes we see lol. so they project onto les cuz hes more relatable to them simply cuz theyre both white? my friend who never even watched just knows of it cuz im aggy af mind u made a profound comment i find applicable w les in both book& show verse

‘[its] the contrast between a public show of subversive bi male femininity versus a domestic/private bi male masculinity—that truly applies to a lot of white gays…putting on the performance of gender non conformity but not actually being equitable in your domestic behaviors and simply reifying gendered violence’

nb ppl r more readily able to apply/recognize gnc ~traits~ in pale skin that may or may not be there. i compare les to david bowie & prince bc those men were gnc in performance but very typical to the role of ‘Man’ in their interpersonal& real lives.

& idt louis is that too gnc in his appearance neither, he still favors suits in his heyday yet in dubai has this androgynous unsettling plain black wardrobe. very cold cutting feminine eartha kitt grace jones type appearance/role he plays in this second interview v. the boyish swagger of a typical 1970s black man he puts on in divisadero in sanfran. but he subverts gendered racial stereotypes moreso in his dynamic w nb partners as black men r expected to be overpowering & domineering. where louis holds up gendered racial stereotypes/dynamics as a black man imo is w/ claudia & miss lily, 2 black women, emotionally and physically extracting from the bw in his life and making claudia make the decisions he cant bring himself to do. sorry if this got a lil off topic lol

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas!!

im gonna rant at you for a bit if you dont mind :)

Im a minor that lives in a super tight night, close minded community. Super religious, super homophobic transphobic ect. Seeing as im a teenage girl whose questioning their gender and is definitely attracted to women thats kinda problematic lols. Honestly idek how to explain the situation without a bunch of details, but basically, theres a fifty-fifty chance of me being sent to conversion therapy or just cut off from any internet access (and i mean ANY. i have a flip phone for fucks sake.)if my fam finds out im queer, i have no support system outside of some internet friends who know nothing about my situation, and within the next few years(so like once i turn 20ish, thats in like 4 years but whatever) my family is going to expect me to get married to a man and start popping out babies asap. Btw thats whats expected of me in this community, marriage under the age of 25, have like as many kids as physically possible and god forbid higher education. And im not okay with that . Ffs i want to go to college, major in fine arts, meet a person i like and fall desperately in love or maybe not just have a bunch of close platonic relationships i want cats and a dog and a cute studio in a big city where i can dye my hair whatever color i want aand get an obsene amount of piercings, i want to wear pants!! I just want to live. Without expectations or limits or people who love me hating everything they dont know about me. Is that truly so much to ask for?

And im incredibly dramatic cuz i literally have the dream life. My family loves me, my parents are upper middle class, theyve never hurt me before(besides for all the anti everything rants haha) i literally have a full sized bed, which for some reason i see as the peak of being spoiled idk why. I go to school, not even public, a private religious school that prob costs thousands of dollars, i have friends(who are all part of this community btw and id bet my entire savings that most of them think gay is only a word that ppl use to mean happy lol) close ones even!! I have adorable neices and nephews(my 3 sisters all were married by the age of 20, so i have 11 niecesand nephews while my oldest sister is 31) im living the dream life. But i hate it and i have no way out. No hope of college to get on my feet and find someway out, no people that'll help me fucking run away or some bullshit like that, hell ive considered it and then felt like shit, cuz what am i even running from? Im probably attracted to men it wont kill me to marry one. And i like kids, i wouldnt mind having any either. But.... i dont want to be trapped anymore. Cuz ill be honest thats what i am.if some one asked me to run away with them rn i would, no hesitation.

God im a mess😭😭 anyway this was me ranting in my notes app, im just apologizing for dumping this on a complete stranger(we're moots actually!!) albeit a very kind one :) i dont know what im looking for, but ill take whatever your comfortable giving ig.

I love and appreciate you<333

And hey this has been oddly cathartic so lmk if its okay for me to do this again sometime :))

"im living the dream life. But i hate it and i have no way out."

Hon, you're not living the dream life...there's a difference between financial privilege and being happy, you know? It's pretty clear that this isn't what you want.

I'm not sure if you're asking for my advice here, or if you just want to vent. But I care about you, and if you want me to research some things to try to help you, I'm more than willing to (that way it's not on your search history.) Just say the word!

Until then, you are ALWAYS allowed to vent to me.

I'm naming you venting anon in case you write again!