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haerni · 9 months ago

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+ yn killing jay just because he killed sunghoon??? THE SAME MAN WHO WROTE ABOUT HER DEATH SO MANY TIMES???? Insane twisted and just so SMART??!?? still holding the same affection for him even after all the things he revealed the twisted love she had for sunghoon onfgwhydg IM SCREAMING it felt like her emotions were my emotions it was so scarily good??!?!!

against the world

PAIRING ▸ park sunghoon x fem!reader x sim jaeyun (ft. park jongseong)

GENRES ▸ fluff, angst, psychological, horror, thriller

WARNINGS ▸ profanity, murder, descriptions of gore, unrequited love, found family, friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, mc is an unreliable narrator

SUMMARY ▸ if you could change anything about your life, it would be meeting park sunghoon.

WORD COUNT ▸ 14,064 words

PLAYLIST ▸ back to black by amy winehouse • the french library by franz gordon • perfectly splendid by the newton brothers

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ hello !! this fic is a rewrite of one of my first horror fics that i’ve written :') it badly needed reworking and i completely changed the ending. i hope you guys enjoy my spooky szn contribution ♡

THE TRUTH WAS, YOUR LIFE BEGAN TO FALL APART EVEN BEFORE YOU MET SIM JAEYUN.

You realized this as you woke up, face pressed against the ice-cold, concrete floor of a holding cell; when the guards dragged your uncooperative, limp body into an interrogation room; when you were face-to-face with Detective Lee Heeseung and handcuffed to a cold, metal table as he read your Miranda Rights. The handcuffs dug into the flesh of your wrists, but you only fought against them once and gave up as soon as you realized they wouldn’t give in. You just wanted to thumb away the crusted blood staining your hands and pick out the flakes under your nails.

The room was foreign to you. It was something you’d seen in movies and read in books, but you never fathomed the idea of being in an interrogation room yourself. There was a two-way glass that you aimlessly stared at, wondering who was listening in on the other end.

You couldn’t figure out just how you ended up in this situation. Everything was smooth in your memory up until your supposed arrest—a tear in the fabric of your recollection. You hardly remembered what happened on the way to the police station or when you were getting booked in. You dug your palms into your temples and then pressed against the soft flesh under your eyes, frustrated by the stunted gears in your head. As much as you begged than to click and start spinning, they remained stuck and rusted in place.

But you couldn’t ask the brooding man standing over you. You couldn’t look up into his cold, unforgiving eyes. After all, he knew you were a murderer.

“There’s no use in lying to me, Y/N,” Detective Lee said gruffly with a gaze like steel, “the prints match.”

You drummed your fingers against the table—a habit that was rooted in your anxiety. Your fingers were stained and pruned like roses, and as hard as you tried to paint the table red, it only flaked off. You were sure your heartbeat was faster than the tapping of your fingers, your mind perhaps speeding off twice as fast.

Your stomach twisted. If Jaeyun was going to prison, too, then you could no longer protect him.

There was a limit to how much he could take; you knew that being thrown in the slammer would be intolerable for him. You knew you needed to get to him immediately because Jaeyun was the guy who felt too little and too much at the same time—the guy who looked for the part of him that ran away, who self-destructed when he felt the world closing in on him.

After all, Jaeyun was a stick of trinitrotoluene lit at both ends.

You worked up the courage to look Detective Lee in the eye, which made him stiffen up, biceps flexing under his white button-up.

“Where’s Jaeyun?” you asked.

Detective Lee’s lips pressed into a thin, grim line. Cutting into his pale cheeks. You decided that couldn’t be a good reaction.

You continued, “He didn’t do anything, I swear. He was just there. He didn’t do anything.”

“If you cooperate with us, then you can see Jaeyun again,” the detective answered in a clipped tone. “I can sit here all day and wait.”

Cooperate. You hated that word.

You knew Detective Lee was just trying to sugarcoat your betrayal. You knew he was looking down on you, ready to push you to your limit.

But there was nothing you could do in this room. There was no way for you to escape or talk your way out of it to see Jaeyun. You knew quite well that staying silent would only prevent you from making sure your boyfriend was okay.

You had no other choice but to work with Detective Lee.

“Will you at least make sure he’s not hurt?” you inquired, to which Detective Lee agreed with a nod.

“I’ll ask again: Will you cooperate?”

You stayed silent. You despised your old habit of shutting down like this, but you couldn’t help it.

Detective Lee sighed and sat in the chair across from you so that you both were eye-level with each other. “Listen, Y/N, you’re young. This murder investigation—this is serious stuff, okay? We just need to know the full story before we jump to any conclusions and make a false arrest. Can we start from last night?”

Deep down, you understood. But it’s all too fresh—too soon. The grief had yet to settle. The recollections of blood and lifeless eyes poisoned your head; it was all you could see when you closed your eyes.

You sounded hollow when you said, “It didn’t… start from last night.”

Detective Lee acknowledged this and leaned forward, hands clasped in front of him. “Then let’s hear it from the beginning.”

If you could change anything about your life, it would be meeting Park Sunghoon.

Your first meeting was at the age of fourteen. Moving schools was an unexpected shift in your life, and you didn't expect to find many friends at your new school. Starting new in the beginning of the year was one thing, but entering unknown territory with people already acclimated in their respective groups was another.

People flocked to comfort, and you were sure that no one would want to step out of their comfort zone to bring a stranger into their friend group.

And then Sunghoon swooped in, like an angel sent from the heavens.

Initially, he was awkward. You were both fourteen-years-old and going through the initial stages of puberty—all voice cracks and awkward intervals of growth stunts. Sunghoon was soft-spoken and didn’t have many friends when he approached and befriended you.

It started when you both found out you shared a love for novels. You spent hours talking about your favorite books, and Sunghoon shared his dream of wanting to craft the perfect story. Oftentimes, Sunghoon would share some of his writing with you, and then his eyes would sparkle upon hearing your feedback.

You two were classmates, sitting right next to each other in the back of the classroom, conveniently right next to the door. You got to know Sunghoon slowly—the same gradual feeling of starting to care for someone. You knew his boundaries, though, because you were aware that you could never be the closest to Sunghoon. He and Park Jongseong were attached at the hip, and you couldn’t lie to yourself; you felt like a third wheel in the beginning.

But there was some comfort in the security of your friendship.

“It’s you and me,” Sunghoon would tell you, “the two of us against the world.”

You knew you should have been grateful to have made friends in the first place, but you didn’t exactly know if you belonged with them. As comfortable as you felt, there was always a whisper in the back of your head, telling you that you would never be their number one.

You would never be anyone’s number one.

“I don’t understand girls,” Jongseong said one day, hands tucked behind his head as the three of you were hanging out in Sunghoon’s room. You were flipping through some comic book that Sunghoon had laying around, and you shifted uncomfortably upon hearing the question.

“You don’t have to.” Sunghoon’s eyes flitted from you, and then back to his phone. He swiped through some apps, but you could tell he wasn’t really paying attention judging by the glazed-over look in his eyes. “Girls make no sense at this age.”

Jongseong nudged you. “You have anything to say about that, Y/N?”

To be honest, you didn’t understand yourself much either. You were just starting to go through puberty, and it wasn’t ideal for a teenager as young as you to only have guy friends. You couldn’t relate to any of the girls your age, nor could you ask them if they were going through the same changes you were.

You were acquainted with several girls, of course, but you never got close enough to ask what feelings and experiences they had. You wanted to know if they were becoming as conscious of themselves and others like you were, but you kept those questions bottled up since you only had Sunghoon and Jongseong.

“Nope,” you replied. “I couldn’t tell you.”

You supposed Jongseong was having girl problems again, and it all clicked because lately, he had been hanging around a pretty girl in their class. They were cute together and clearly into each other, but you could pick up on the issue: Jongseong was on the down-low about their relationship. More importantly, he had been on the down-low about it around Sunghoon, which had to have been breaking some sort of best friend code.

Jongseong asked, “You like anyone, Hoon?”

Hoon, your brain echoed, and you imagined yourself using the name as casually as Jongseong did. It sounded awkward coming from you, though. Friends gave each other nicknames, right? What if you gave Sunghoon a nickname? How would he react?

Sunghoon flushed behind his phone screen. You could tell he wanted it to go undetected, but you caught a glimpse of his flustered expression before he was able to compose himself.

“Oh, not really,” he replied with an air of indifference. “I dunno. I guess I haven’t really been looking.”

“How about you, Y/N?”

You faltered for a moment before you realized you had been addressed. It was a normal question; you should have expected it, but it hit you like a tornado and your mind was swirling. Dating had crossed your mind a few times, sure, you had never prepared an answer because you thought it was going to be straightforward—a simple “yeah, there’s a few cute guys in class.” But that wasn’t the case this time, and you were wondering why there wasn’t any clarity in your head.

Come on, Y/N, you urged yourself, as if you were complaining to multiple, uncooperating attendants working in your brain. Just say something—anything.

Your mind was blanking, though, and you were scared. You couldn’t quite grasp why your stomach felt like a never-ending pit, but it only worsened when you couldn’t spit some guy’s name out. You wanted to open up your skull, thoroughly examine your head, poke at the areas refusing to work, and figure out who you couldn’t just list some attractive guy in class; on top of that, you wondered why you couldn’t just flat-out refuse the statement and claim that there was no one you were interested in.

You were struck with a painful realization that there was only one person you could think of.

Sunghoon.

No, no, no, your brain and your heart screamed at each other. Get ahold of yourself.

You quickly decided that it was just a passing feeling that you needed to suppress until it went away. It was just stupid teenage hormones and puberty making you feel this way and starving you of affection that you didn’t actually need in the first place. If you didn’t get a hold over yourself, you were going to crumble and ruin the good things you had going.

You internally convinced yourself that everything was fine. There were plenty of teenagers your age who had moments of weakness like this with their guy friends. You just needed to branch out more, that was all.

Sheepishly, you replied before the boys could chew you out, “There’s no one I’m interested in right now.”

You weren’t a very good liar, but as long as Sunghoon and Jongseong were sold, you were content with how things were.

Your group expanded when you turned fifteen, and you and Sunghoon grew closer—maybe even closer than Sunghoon and Jongseong were.

You were laying down in your bed one night, breaking into sobs when you realized that you needed more than one hand to count the number of friends you had now. Your shell was broken and your world was bigger. You normally lived like your uphills were mountains and your downhills were cliffs, but, lately, the mountains were getting easier to climb and the downhills weren’t that big of a drop. You didn’t need to stop and catch your breath or worry about hurting yourself on the way down.

You never felt lonely anymore. If Sunghoon or Jongseong weren’t free, you would call Nishimura Riki to catch grasshoppers in the creek with you, or you’d go play video games with Yang Jungwon. Kim Sunoo called you nearly every night to bother you, but you didn’t mind. You liked them; they made you feel important, like you were wanted.

“Come on,” Sunghoon teased Jungwon one day as he was blushing over some girl. “What are you being so shy about?”

“It’s embarrassing!” Jungwon complained, and you giggled over how a flush of red started creeping from his ears to his cheeks. “I’m not a smooth-talker like you are, Hoon.”

Sunghoon snorted. “I’m not a smooth-talker.”

“He’s practically, like, bulletproof,” Jongseong chimed in. “We can’t tease him about anyone. He just brushes it off.”

“I’m not bulletproof,” Sunghoon argued, but anyone could see the pride behind his expression. “I’m just not interested in anyone right now.”

You thought you had finally squashed the weird, gooey feeling that arose in your chest every now and then whenever Sunghoon came close. It was primarily due to the fact that Sunghoon was a respectful individual who didn’t try to weasel his way into your personal bubble as he pleased. That was probably for the best because you were sure your brain would go haywire if Sunghoon was too close for comfort.

And then there was Sim Jaeyun.

Jaeyun entered your circle pretty easily. With his radiant personality and warm presence, it was no shocker that he was accepted by the group instantly. He possessed some odd charm that drew people to him, and you couldn’t seem to figure just how that worked. You were almost jealous of him, honestly, with how much of a social butterfly he was.

Out of all of them, Jaeyun seemed to take a particular interest in you. It drove you crazy, though, and you couldn’t figure out how to get the guy to stop teasing and messing around with you. The others couldn’t figure it out either; you just weren’t as bright and bubbly as Jaeyun was, so it was odd that he kept nagging the one person whose wavelength wasn’t on par with his.

Sometimes it was cute—endearing even—but sometimes it was just flat-out irritating.

“Hey, Y/N.” Jake grinned, and his voice was all light and airy as he approached you. “What’re you doing for the summer break?”

“Probably sleeping in, hanging out with the others, and some more sleeping,” you replied, hardly sparing him a single glance.

You were too focused on clearing out your locker of all the books and papers you had tossed in during the year. Gotta keep this, gotta throw this away, gotta return this one, you rattled off in your head, mentally preserving a reminder of your various items. But Jaeyun knew how to push your buttons and grab your attention. He never took your deflection without retaliating back. That was one of the many reasons why you found it so difficult to be around him.

“And hanging out with Sunghoon, huh? Have you realized it yet, or are you still pretending it’s not there?”

You closed your locker with a swift swipe of your hand, revealing Jaeyun’s smug expression. Your eyes were practically bugging out of your sockets as you stared him down. Somehow, you knew exactly what he was hinting at, but you refused to spell it out for him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you questioned, but Jaeyun was already walking away from you. He was turned away, but you could visualize that stupid smirk of his like it was carved into your memory.

Jaeyun was smart. Too smart.

Your summer was filled with laughter, beach trips, and shy glances at Sunghoon. He drove you around places and you sat in the passenger’s seat next to him, toes curled in your shoes because you were so overjoyed. The car was always loud with music and laughter, and whenever it was silent, it was because everyone else was sleeping on each other after a long day of being outside.

You still masqueraded around, playing the role of Sunghoon’s best friend who definitely had zero romantic feelings toward him. It was quite hard when you had to pretend like your heart didn’t flutter whenever Sunghoon’s fingers brushed against yours.

“Sunghoon,” Jaeyun would complain, rousing laughter from everyone at how impatient he was, “are we there yet?”

“You’re so annoying,” Sunghoon retorted, clearly as a joke. You couldn’t help but laugh at his outburst, but it quickly died on your lips once you caught a glimpse of Jaeyun winking at you in the side mirror.

Jaeyun had a mischievous glint in his eyes when he said, “But you still love me, Hoon.”

Oh.

He was trying to make you jealous.

You fought down the urge to laugh at him. You might have been harboring a small crush, but you were never the jealous type, especially not over petty things like this. There was one little thing, however, that you couldn’t seem to shake.

For some reason, the anticipation to call Sunghoon by a nickname made you anxious. You never tested it on your tongue; it just floated around in your head. However, when you addressed him as Hoon one day, your heart skipped a beat when Sunghoon responded with a smile that rivaled the brightness of the sun.

You grew closer to Jongseong, too. You didn’t feel like the third wheel with him and Sunghoon anymore; you felt like you were all at the same level of closeness. You and Jongseong hung out sometimes without Sunghoon, and despite a few awkward pauses in your interactions, you two warmed up quickly and you learned how to joke around with him easily.

Jongseong wasn’t all stiff and dry like you were initially afraid of; rather, he was surprisingly fun, and every time you learned something new about him, like how he adored cats but was allergic to them, you were even more amazed.

It wasn’t just Jongseong, though. You and Sunghoon grew far closer than ever before, whether that was for the better or worse.

Sunghoon only lived a street away, so it was convenient to hang out, and when you didn’t hang out with him, you two called each other. You could see him unravel in front of your eyes; he became visibly more comfortable when it was just the two of you—smiling, laughing, and bursting into laughter with tears of unrestrained happiness.

It wasn’t just the jubilant memories that tugged you two closer, though. It was also the despair.

In the first place, it was an accident that you even happened to break down in front of Sunghoon.

You two were in his room when it happened, and things were as they always had been before you sensed the calm before the storm. You joked around as usual and passed the time by playing video games. Sunghoon was perched on his usual spot in the corner of the bed. You looked over at him and realized how close you two had become as friends.

Friends. Just friends.

It was right at that moment when you realized that this wasn’t what you wanted. You didn’t want to just be Sunghoon’s best friend. You wanted to be the reason why he smiled, the one to make him blush, and the one he could share his pain and happiness with.

But your feelings were the scariest thing you’ve ever had to face, and you felt ashamed for even wanting to cross the line drawn between you and Sunghoon.

You couldn’t dare bring yourself to confess. You were almost positive that Sunghoon didn’t feel the same way, and you would be risking a fall-out in your current relationship if you admitted anything. What if Sunghoon ended up hating you? What if you lost him and all of your other friends? What if you weren’t the closest person to him anymore?

That was why you felt like Sunghoon was in another dimension, always a layer away. Always.

This was your own fault. You were the one who fell for your best friend. You were the one who did this to yourself. You broke your own heart.

You couldn’t help it when you started falling apart in front of him. It started with a broken cough that was supposed to cover up a sniffle. You were thankful for the loud battle sounds in the game that drowned out your quiet sobbing. But the video game didn’t stop Sunghoon from noticing your shaking hands gripping the controller.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m okay.”

Your voice is so shaky, so broken. Sunghoon knew you were crying before he could see or hear it.

He paused the game and put the controller down, but your eyes were still trained on the screen, hands shaking as you clutched the controller until you were white-knuckled. Sunghoon was on edge—panicked. Although, it was a different kind of panic from all the times you would be stressing over an assignment and Sunghoon would offer some lame piece of advice in return.

“What happened? What’s wrong?” His tone was frantic now as he searched your face for an answer.

You smiled, although faint melancholy was tucked away in the curl of your lip. “Nothing. I’m fine.”

“Now, I know that’s not true.”

Your smile broke. It was so unfortunate that Park Sunghoon had to have a heart so big.

You could almost hear Jaeyun in the back of your head: Have you realized it yet, or are you still pretending it isn’t there?

You started crying, and it wasn’t something soft with a gradual crescendo. It was loud and all at once, like a wounded animal. Your hands shook more, and you finally dropped your controller, burying your fingers into your roots, as if tugging your hair hard enough would make it all stop, as if it would hurt more than the ache in your chest.

Sunghoon was quick to get off his bed and slide to the ground, right next to you. He wrapped an arm around your shoulder and it only made you feel ashamed. You stiffened up and shrunk back, hoping he wouldn’t notice how you tensed up at his touch. You could hear your own heartbeat, but you were pretty sure you were hyperventilating at a faster pace than the pounding in your chest. The world under you moved, bounced, so you decided to lean into Sunghoon.

The logical half of your brain informed you in a calm, clipped manner that you were having a panic attack. The other half meanwhile was screaming and shutting itself down.

Five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste, you tried telling yourself, but your senses overwhelmed you completely. Your tears were blurring your vision, you couldn’t hear anything but your sobs, and your lungs felt as if they were on fire.

“Y/N, talk to me,” came the softest voice that eased the painful ringing in your ears.

“I can’t,” you stuttered out. “Not right now.”

You wish you hadn’t let it get to this point. You were completely humiliating yourself in front of Sunghoon right now. This was the one thing you couldn’t let him find out about.

Your heavy gasps grew more labored. You then curled into yourself, sweaty hands tugging and knotting at your hair. And, shit, you couldn’t breathe.

“I can’t, I can’t,” you repeated again and again, like a broken record. The desperation in your voice was so ugly.

There was something fierce in Sunghoon’s eyes, like he was ready to protect you from anything or anyone that tried to hurt you, but there was also softness in his voice. “You know, you can tell me anything. Whatever it is, I’ll hear you out. I don’t want you to suffer alone, Y/N.”

With a small smile, he added, “It’s just you and me, right? The two of us against the world.”

That only made you cry even more. You just replayed Sunghoon’s words in your head, like it was your favorite song.

“Alright.” You breathed in real deep, through the aching chest and everything. “It’s really stupid.”

“If it makes you cry this hard, it can’t be stupid.”

You bit your lip, embarrassed. “I think I like someone—someone I can’t have.”

Sunghoon didn’t respond for a moment, and it rattled your brain. He probably was wondering this underwhelming confession warranted a breakdown from you, and you couldn’t blame him. However, it was the only way you could avoid lying to your best friend without giving him the whole truth.

For a split second, you wondered if Sunghoon simply just didn’t hear you. But you didn’t want to repeat yourself; you didn’t like repeating yourself.

To your surprise, Sunghoon just smiled. “Do I know them?”

You opened your mouth to speak, but no words were stringing together in your head to form a coherent sentence.

“Uh, well, you don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready,” Sunghoon continued. He flushed and flicked his thumb under his nose—an awkward mannerism of his that you grew to love over the years. “Actually, I think we’re in the same boat. There’s someone I like, too. Someone I can’t have.”

His words bounced in your skull. Settled. Bounced again.

“Really?” you spluttered out, and it took you a moment to recuperate from the heavy sadness that was filling your chest. You brought yourself to ask, “I mean, you’re so popular, so why don’t you just ask them out?”

“Can’t.”

“Why not? Are they dating someone else?”

There was a sad smile on Sunghoon’s lips when he answered, “No, Jongseong likes her, too.”

At the age of sixteen, you realized that you couldn’t get over Sunghoon, but you could suppress your heartbreak and lingering feelings.

It physically hurt to think about how deeply ingrained your concept of friendship was with him, and the possibility that Park Sunghoon would never think of you as more than a friend. You two had shared too many experiences—worn each other’s shoes and walked miles—to ever become more than what you were.

Nothing would ever change.

You were hanging out by a creek near Jongseong’s house. It was just the two of you—no Jaeyun to poke fun at you, and no Sunghoon to distract you. It was just the two of you, and it was somehow so easy to be with Jongseong like this. You could laugh with your stomach and smile with your eyes without feeling the need to close up or shut down.

“It’s getting annoying, isn’t it?” Jongseong asked under his breath at one point. When you shot him a puzzled look, he clarified, “Sunghoon.”

You picked up on Jongseong’s annoyance toward Sunghoon over the past few weeks, but his words confirmed your suspicions now. You wondered if it was geared toward the girl they both liked—whoever she was.

You never thought to ask, mainly because you didn’t want to know. Either way, if Sunghoon wanted to share, he would’ve done so already.

You swallowed down the lump in your throat, trying to grab at words and shove them together, but you genuinely didn’t know what to say.

It had always been you, Sunghoon, and Jongseong. You never thought about them turning on each other. The very idea made you feel sick to your stomach.

Over the past week, you had seen Sunghoon’s indifference toward Jongseong, but you were too afraid to ask about it. Your friend group was slow to pick up on it, but you noticed the way Sunghoon would purposely avoid conversing with Jongseong, or the way Jongseong would walk quickly past him if they crossed paths. It was odd, though, because everyone knew that Sunghoon and Jongseong were the best of friends—inseparable. How could you hold onto someone for so long and just let go of them like that?

You recalled that Jongseong and Jungwon went over to talk to Sunghoon about his moody behavior, but Jongseong never told you whether the talk went well or not. You figured it just never happened because Jungwon called in sick the very next day.

You prayed that he would hurry up and get over his cold. He had been out sick all week, which checked out since everyone was getting sick around this time of the year. Jungwon would know how to get Sunghoon and Jongseong to reconcile. He was always the friend that helped everyone patch things up.

“You guys are best friends,” was all you could say. “You’ll make up in a few days, right?”

Jongseong clicked his tongue loud enough to make your skin crawl.

But you didn’t want to drop it this time, you asked, “Seriously, what happened between you guys?”

For a moment, you wondered if you should’ve brought up what Sunghoon confessed to you—about him and Jongseong liking the same girl. But this couldn’t have been about that; Sunghoon would never let a girl get between his friendships.

“Sunghoon’s hiding something dark,” Jongseong blurted out. “I don’t think I can get him out of this one.”

“Something dark? What is it?”

“I don’t really know—”

“Jongseong,” you cut in. “If you know something, then just say it. He’s my best friend, too.”

Jongseong shifted uncomfortably, restless. He was silent for a long period of time, so you just waited for him to collect his thoughts. Uneasiness bursted from the tips of your fingers and crawled under your skin. You felt the heat of the sun against your face, so you looked up and covered your eyes with a hand, blinking back red.

“If Sunghoon did something unforgivable,” he started in a murmur, “would you forgive him?”

“I don’t know,” was all you could say.

“Yeah,” Jongseong replied, his terse words nearly making you flinch. “I don’t know, either.”

The sun grew hotter against your face, and all you could see was blood red behind your eyes.

You didn’t know how exactly it started, but you slowly started to find solace in Jaeyun.

You didn’t want to admit it, but you were starting to care for him a little more than the people around you. You were starting to get swayed by him—the things he said, the way he looked at you—and it scared you a little.

But Jaeyun felt safe. He felt like home.

You two called at night, sometimes. You weren’t normally one to be vulnerable in front of others, but you shed some tears in front of Jaeyun a couple of times.

The only other person you had cried in front of was Sunghoon.

“It’s kinda sad,” Jaeyun told you one day. You two were spending the afternoon studying together at his place, and you were feeling self-conscious because you were starting to regret not dressing a little cuter. “I’ve known you for a year, but we’ve only gotten close now.”

“I don’t think either of us cared about deepening our friendship back then.”

He narrowed his eyes at you. “You think I didn’t want to be closer? How do you think I picked up on you liking Sunghoon?”

“Because I was obvious about it?”

“No, idiot, because I like you.”

You blinked a few times until you fully processed his words. I like you, your brain repeated, and then you reprocessed the information.

No, there was an ‘idiot’ before that. Not only were you liked, but he thought you were stupid, as well.

You became painfully aware of your knees touching Jaeyun’s, but you still couldn’t wrap your head around the idea of him liking you romantically. You had never been in this position. Since your crush on Sunghoon had been one-sided for the past few years, you never expected to be on the receiving end.

“You…” you trailed off, floundering to find something to say—something that wouldn’t make you sound stupid or mean. You settled with, “You, too?”

His eyes beamed with hope. “For a year now.”

Your world was so small before. It was just you, Sunghoon, and Jongseong.

Before you could even wonder if there was space in your heart for Jaeyun, you realized that you had already let him burrow his way in there.

“Can I kiss you?” Jaeyun asked.

You couldn’t help but breathe out a laugh, and every once of nervousness slipped away. You always thought you could attain this level of closeness with Sunghoon, but maybe your relationship with him was just that fragile—where you could just grab the string binding you two together and snip it completely.

But it was different with Jaeyun.

“Yeah,” you answered, smiling, “you can.”

And then, with Jaeyun’s breath fanning your lips, you felt Sunghoon completely dissolve from the impounding thoughts racking your brain. Right now, it was Jaeyun and only Jaeyun.

You leaned in first, cupping his cheek and pressing your lips against Jaeyun’s soft ones. It was weird, kissing for the first time, but he leaned into it instantly so that your movements were less awkward and more guided.

A fire blazed inside of you, burning hotter than imaginable. You didn’t expect Jaeyun to drive you this crazy—to crave more, to want more. You drew back before you slid your hand into his hair, although you were tempted to go further when his pillowy lips peppered soft kisses along your jawline.

But you didn’t want to go overboard or ruin anything by going too fast. You settled for leaving another chaste kiss against his lips before pulling back, and you were delighted when you saw how pleased Jaeyun was. He was practically glowing.

From then on, you and Jaeyun had a relationship that extended past something platonic, but it wasn’t like you two were official. Naturally, you ended up confiding in him over everything.

While Sunghoon still held a place in your heart as your first love, you grew to care for Jaeyun, who kindled a gentler fire in you. Sunghoon, on the other hand, left you burned and scarred.

You didn’t want to rush into a relationship, mainly because you didn’t want Jaeyun to think he was a rebound, and he respected that. So he waited for you to figure out your feelings and let your heart choose who was right for you.

You weren’t stupid, though; you knew that chasing after Sunghoon was a hopeless cause.

You and Jaeyun drifted about in a limbo-state of your relationship. You two went on a couple of dates, got to know each other at a deeper level, and spent a lot of time together. He became the person you thought about when you were falling asleep and when you woke up in the morning.

You two got along surprisingly well, and you wondered why you ever had doubts about him in the beginning. Sure, Jaeyun still got on your nerves at times, but you just found it funny after the wave of annoyance passed.

Your friends started to talk about how close you two were and frequently brought up the idea of you two dating. Of course, you always denied it, enjoying the privacy you and Jaeyun had.

But as your relationship blossomed into something more serious, you decided that you didn’t want things to stay casual any longer. So, you asked him out, and Jaeyun, being the lovesick puppy he was, accepted without a second thought.

You thought about how much had changed in your life. Sunghoon stopped hanging out with you completely, resorting to being alone most of the time. Everyone was concerned about his behavior, but after several attempts of failed confrontation, they all collectively gave up. You and Jongseong still kept an eye on him, using roundabout ways to find out how he was doing; it was the most you two could do given how little opportunity you had to talk to him.

You didn’t share many classes with Jongseong anymore, but you two were still close, even after your “two of us against the world” friendship with Sunghoon had gone to shit.

Jongseong was kind, though, and despite how he was rough around the edges, he was gentle enough.

But he knew that Sunghoon was hiding something dark, and that alone made you somewhat nervous around him.

You felt unsettled the entire day, but when your group chat started flooding with texts about Jungwon in the middle of the night, you felt an icy chill travel down your spine.

It was all over the news. The whole story about him being down with the flu was just a cover-up while authorities were looking for him.

You felt nauseous.

HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT FOUND DEAD NEAR WOODS. FOUL PLAY SUSPECTED.

The 16-year-old boy was found dead at the scene. The parents of the deceased student have identified him as Yang Jungwon. As of now, there are no leads, but authorities have ruled the case as a homicide.

Police have asked anyone with information to contact their local police department.

You read the headline again. Over and over again until your vision was blurry and the words were convoluted. Your fingers were raw and bitten down to the nail bed by the time you were able to put your phone down so that you could just cry into your hands.

By the time you got around to reading the details, grimacing at the descriptions of mutilation done to Jungwon’s body and how his body had been decomposing for weeks now, you had to run to your toilet and dry heave everything out.

You weren’t the closest to Jungwon or anything, but imagining such a bright person meet such a horrific end wasn’t easy to process. For hours, you ignored all of the calls and texts and attempts to comfort from your parents. You stared straight at your wall—so terrified that your chest hurt and your breathing was ragged.

Later that night, when the world was quiet and dreaming, you received a text from Sunghoon.

sunghoon: Hey sunghoon: I’ve been thinking about you. Are you doing okay? sunghoon: I haven’t been a good friend lately, I’m sorry sunghoon: It’s still the two of us against the world

There was a time when those words made you feel like you were on top of the world, soaring high over the clouds.

Now, though, all you could feel was a horrible sensation of dread.

It had been months since Sunghoon and Jongseong’s falling out.

You were seventeen now, but you felt hollower as you aged. Sunghoon showed up to school and lingered within your group silently, only contributing when spoken to directly. He didn’t approach you anymore or ask to hang out after school. Actually, no one knew what he did after school. He would head straight home and then go completely off the radar.

Gone off the rails, as Sunoo called it.

You cried several nights over it. You felt like not only was your best friend slipping away from you, but Sunghoon’s disconnect from the group would soon make you pull away, too. You had Jaeyun, of course, but nothing felt the same anymore. With Jungwon dead, the group felt tense and gloomy. You all started hanging out with other people and slowly stopped responding in the group chat.

Part of you realized that Sunghoon’s detachment was because you didn’t reply to him the night Jungwon’s murder was publicized. Back then, you suspected that Sunghoon could have been behind it, judging by your conversation with Jongseong earlier. It all added up in your head, but the only thing that was stopping you from believing it fully was that you couldn’t fathom Sunghoon ever doing something so evil.

“I don’t know what’s going on with him,” you whispered into the phone, even though there wasn’t anyone around that you were worried about listening in. “He’s shutting me out now. Something must’ve happened to him.”

You heard Jaeyun hum and contemplate for a moment before he replied, “Maybe he just needs space.”

“I think something happened between him and Jongseong,” you admitted, “but I can’t imagine Jongseong saying anything that would make Sunghoon ignore him for this long.”

“It must’ve been serious, then.”

“But… but it’s Sunghoon; he’s”—you paused as you recalled what Jongseong once called him—“bulletproof.”

There was a pause.

“I guess that’s the problem with being bulletproof,” Jaeyun spoke gravely. “People think they can just keep shooting.”

What Jaeyun told you that night kept replaying in your head over the next week—over and over again. It hit you a little too hard, and you waited to confront Sunghoon about it. You wanted him to know that he could be vulnerable, too. But you couldn’t even speak to your best friend these days. He had been avoiding everyone like the plague.

You assumed it had something to do with Jongseong, but when you talked to him about it, he was hesitant to get into it.

“You’re the closest person to him,” you told him. Today was colder, and you rubbed your hands together for warmth as you and Jongseong stood by the gates after school. “I think if you guys sit down and talk things out, then he’ll start being himself again.”

“I was the closest person to him,” Jongseong corrected with a scoff. “Plus, there’s nothing to talk about.”

“Nothing to talk about? What about your friendship?”

You couldn’t stop the words from leaving your mouth. Anger roiled deep in your chest, and you were too furious to realize that Jongseong only looked dejected in response. If he wasn’t going to explain what happened, then you couldn’t understand what was eating away at their relationship.

“There is no friendship, Y/N,” he said slowly, in a voice so low that it sounded like the calm before the storm. His words made everything come to a halt, and you felt like time itself had frozen. “I suggest you let go of Sunghoon, too. You’re hanging onto someone who’s beyond help.”

“But I don’t know what you know!” you exclaimed. “I can’t let go of someone just like that, Jongseong. I need answers.”

He was quiet before he asked, “Do you remember when Sunghoon stayed over at your house once when we were fourteen?”

“When his house caught on fire?” you recalled, but the memory was sort of hazy for you. All you remembered was how you were in complete awe that Sunghoon was unscathed and unbothered by the incident.

“Yeah,” Jongseong’s voice was grim as he said, “and I bet he never told you that he was the one who started that fire on purpose.”

It was like a punch to the gut. You could only shake your head blankly, lips parted in disbelief.

He continued, “When we were fifteen, he thought it would be fun to plan out a murder without getting caught—”

No.

“—and, at sixteen, he actually did it.”

No. No.

“Jongseong,” you whispered, your voice smaller than you intended, “was it…”

“Jungwon?” He said the name so carefully, as if the world would explode into nothingness if he did. You had been gnawing at your lip so hard that you drew blood, yet that couldn’t distract you from the haunted look in Jongseong’s eyes. “Yeah, he killed Jungwon.”

You felt like you had just been doused with ice-cold water.

“I shouldn’t have brought Jungwon with me. I knew Sunghoon was gonna do it to someone, but I didn’t know…” He sucked in a deep, shuddering breath that racked his entire body. “I didn’t think it would be him. I brought Jungwon to talk him out of whatever was going on, not to…” Jongseong stopped himself again, covering his face with his hands to wipe away the tears that had started to fall.

It’s you and me, Sunghoon’s voice chimed in your head. The two of us against the world.

You thought your world had been shattered, but then you realized that it had actually been broken for a long time.

That night, you asked Jaeyun to come over, and he arrived at your door in record speed.

You two were sitting on your bed, controllers in hand, but the screen was off and neither of you were even in the mood to play. You must have trusted him more than anyone by now because the words started spilling with no preamble. You ended up explaining most of your conversation with Jongseong after you had Jaeyun swear on his life that he wouldn’t tell a soul.

Of course, you didn’t expect any normal person to compliantly come to terms with the fact that their friend murdered their other friend, but Jaeyun was a bit different when it came to you. Instead of accusing you of lying or denying the truth, he believed you wholeheartedly. You couldn’t tell if he was patient with you, or if he was just horrified by everything you had told him.

It had been an entire year since Jungwon had been found dead and the case closed as an unsolved murder, but your words sucker punched Jaeyun like it had just happened yesterday.

Jaeyun’s tone was urgent when he said, “We have to tell someone.” When he noticed your hesitation, he shook his head at you with a disapproving frown. “Y/N, this is serious. This is Jungwon, my best friend.”

Your mouth went dry. “I-I know, it’s just—”

Jaeyun didn’t have to cut you off. You froze right when you saw tears welling up in his eyes.

“Y/N.” He said your name gently, but you still flinched. You had never heard your name being called with so much despair. “If Sunghoon really murdered Jungwon, then I can’t keep this a secret.”

“Give me a few days,” you pleaded. “I just want to hear Sunghoon out. No matter what he says, I’ll come with you to testify.”

He shook his head immediately, eyes fierce. “You are not going anywhere near Sunghoon—not after what he did to Jungwon.”

“Then let me ask Jong—”

“Y/N,” Jaeyun interrupted, letting his hand slide over yours. His eyes were full of concern when he asked, “How do you know you can trust Jongseong?”

Your hands started to shake.

“Y/N,” he said again, “if Jongseong took Jungwon to see Sunghoon, what do you think he did after Sunghoon killed him?”

Your pulse raced.

“If Jongseong knew about Sunghoon’s behavior for this long, why hasn’t he ever done anything?”

All this time, you thought your world had grown a little bigger ever since you met Sunghoon and Jongseong.

But you were living in a fantasy by yourself.

Not so long after your talk with Jaeyun, your phone rang. You were in the middle of finishing up your history paper when you saw the caller ID flash across your screen.

It was Sunghoon.

You didn’t even give yourself time to think about it first. You just picked up the phone immediately. It was an old habit; you saw Sunghoon and accepted the call without a second thought. You never expected Sunghoon to ever call you again, so you didn’t exactly have any practice in rejecting his calls.

“Y/N?” came the familiar voice of Park Sunghoon—gentle, but almost like he was a caged animal.

“Sunghoon?” You swallowed hard. “Uh, how are you? It’s been a while since we’ve talked.”

“I’m so sorry,” he apologized, but you weren’t sure what he was apologizing for. “It was supposed to be the two of us against the world.”

You frowned. “Sunghoon, what’s going on?”

Instead of answering your question, Sunghoon hesitated before saying, “We should catch up sometime. You can read part of the story I’m writing.”

You paused, and before he could ask if you were still there, you replied, “Yeah, sure.”

“Right.” Sunghoon sounded like he had more to say. You almost didn’t catch it because he was so quiet, and the last thing you heard before he hung up was a quiet, “Bye, then.”

Your deepest regret was answering your phone later that night.

It was hours after Sunghoon called you. Jongseong was more of a texter, so you were surprised when his caller ID flashed across your screen. It was definitely not a reasonable hour for a high school student to be out and about, but nothing could have prepared you for what you heard on the other side of the line.

Jongseong was sobbing.

The sound chilled you to the bone. You never heard Jongseong cry, but this didn’t feel normal; this cry was frantic and mangled, like he was spiraling out of control.

“Y/N, you have to come over quickly,” Jongseong begged through broken sobs and heavy breaths. “Please, Y/N, I don’t want him to hurt anyone else.”

“Jongseong, calm down. Tell me what’s happening.”

“You have my location, right? Just hurry. Please.” And he hung up.

In a daze, you called Jaeyun and asked him to pick you up.

“I really think we should just call the cops,” Jaeyun offered, almost pleading. “I don’t know what’s going on with Jongseong, but this sounds sketchy, Y/N.”

Pitted fear festered in your throat. You knew something was off, but you weren’t sure if you could handle losing Jongseong, too. You had gotten so used to not being alone that you were paranoid of returning to having no one.

“Call them as soon as we get there,” you said. “I just need to make sure Jongseong’s okay.”

Jaeyun pressed his lips into a thin, grim line, but he kept driving.

It was a port that Jongseong’s location directed you to, and discomfort crept into your limbs as soon as Jaeyun pulled into the area. Maybe you should’ve stayed back where it was safer and let the police handle everything, but you must have been a fool. It was just that Jongseong’s cries echoed in your head whenever you started having second thoughts.

You could hear him before you saw him.

Jongseong’s soft sobs could be heard from behind a metal storage unit, and you and Jaeyun inched closer carefully after getting out of the car. Your heart dropped to your stomach; you were dreading the worst, and when you turned the corner into the closed area Jongseong was in, you realized that the sight before you was the worst it could get.

Sunghoon’s body.

You waited for his chest to rise, but not even a shallow breath escaped his blue-tinged lips.

It took you a moment to reorient yourself and realize that Sunghoon wasn’t just passed out, he was dead.

You saw the blood pooling around him and the wounds piercing his torso, staining his white shirt, but you wanted to believe your mind was playing tricks on you. You convinced yourself that Sunghoon was going to get up any second now and start laughing, and then Jongseong would join in and tell you it was all a joke.

But that wasn’t the case.

It wasn’t fear that overtook you—not an overwhelm of emotion—it was numbness. You stared at Sunghoon’s body as he bled out onto the concrete, blood pooling into the cracks in the ground. You felt an odd sort of disconnect.

You tilted your head to see Sunghoon’s face turned to the side against the concrete. His blank eyes just stared into nothingness, and you realized that you would never get to see Sunghoon’s warm, sincere gaze ever again. You were never going to see his bright smile. You were never going to hear his contagious laugh. You were never going to read the wonderful stories he wrote.

You supposed your life was always meant to be a tragedy.

“H-Hoon?” Jaeyun choked up behind you. He was staring down at Sunghoon’s lifeless body in horror before his expression was slowly replaced with anger. “Jongseong, what the hell did you do?!”

“It was self-defense, man,” Jongseong whimpered out before his body was racked with sobs again. “He pulled a knife on me out of nowhere. I tried to stop him, but he was trying to kill me. I couldn’t do anything else. I couldn’t run, I couldn’t—” He exhaled shakily. “I couldn’t do anything else.”

You didn’t say anything. You just stared at Sunghoon.

“Come on, guys,” Jongseong pleaded. “I can’t go to fucking prison. I’m eighteen now; it’s not juvie, it’s a life sentence.” You didn’t know what he was getting at until he requested the unthinkable, “Help me get rid of the body.”

You wanted to puke. You eyed the shiny metal soaked in blood that Jongseong was clutching. You were never going to see Sunghoon again. You were never going to hang out with him over the weekend. You were never going to hear his voice again.

“Get rid of the body?” Jaeyun raised his voice, exasperated. “What the fuck are you gonna do when they realize he’s gone missing? You just killed someone! This is on you, Jongseong, not us!”

“Are you going to help me get rid of it or not?!” Jongseong tugged at his hair. “Just help me throw him off the dock, and we can all walk away from this.”

You watched helplessly, horror-stricken. “I… I can’t.”

“The body’s gonna float and show up somewhere,” Jaeyun countered with stony eyes. “They’re gonna catch you.”

Jongseong looked terrifyingly pale. You wondered if it was just the glow of the moon, or if he was also holding in his urge to puke. “I’ll just cut his stomach so he sinks.”

Disgusted, Jaeyun scowled. “You’re a monster.”

You watched as Jongseong tried hauling Sunghoon’s body before giving up and dragging him by the legs. You shot Jaeyun a warning look, mouthing for him to call the police before Jongseong noticed. He lingered back to do so while you followed Jongseong to plead him to stop. His arms gave out as soon as he stepped onto the planks, and he let Sunghoon’s lower half collapse onto the solid wood.

“Y/N, help me cut open his stomach,” he ordered, hardly sparing you a glance. If he did, he would have seen how horrified you were.

“Oh,” you said, voice wavering, “that’s… that—that’s his…”

“Y/N, help me.”

“Jongseong,” you begged, “please… please stop.”

He paid you no attention, though. You felt ghastly as Jongseong used a paring knife to make an incision on Sunghoon’s stomach. The smell was putrid. You screwed your eyes shut as the metallic smell of blood invaded your nostrils. Your nausea plunged into your gut, and you had to fight the pervasive urge to hurl.

A stream of Sunghoon’s blood made its way to your shoes, staining the soles.

Jongseong was cutting your old best friend open.

The dread had kept you numb for this long, but it was when reality settled in that you finally lost it. You couldn’t handle it anymore and pitched forward over the edge of the dock, throwing up until you were heaving up bile. You sobbed through it all, mournful and low, and your friend paid you no attention while he was cutting through flesh.

When Jongseong was done, he wiped at his cheek, leaving behind a smear of blood. Sunghoon’s blood. You stared at him, and you had never been more terrified of him in your life.

And then you really noticed Jongseong. You noticed how Sunghoon’s blood was coated all over his hands, how he hardly had any scratches or bruises on his body, how merciless his eyes were as he stared down at his old best friend.

The realization that washed over you was frightening.

“Sunghoon didn’t actually try to kill you, did he?” you managed to warble out. “You killed him yourself.”

A deep silence from him followed—heavy and wretched. Sunghoon’s blood was so dark that it nearly looked black under the dim light, and you could only stare helplessly until Jaeyun made his way to the dock, placing his hands firmly on your shoulders.

Jongseong turned to you and Jaeyun, clutching his knife tightly. You could hardly recognize the boy in front of you. You never truly understood the term “paralyzed by fear” until you saw the crazed look in Jongseong’s eyes—cold and haunting.

Jaeyun’s eyes glistened with tears and his throat was thick with emotion when he said, “Jongseong, please—just hang on and… and we can talk this out.”

The hand gripping his knife started shaking. “You won’t tell anyone, right? You guys won’t snitch on me, right?” When there was no response from you or Jaeyun, Jongseong’s desperation grew stronger. He turned to you with his eyes big and terrified. “Y/N, come on, we’ve known each other for years. You know I—”

“Shut up!” Jaeyun yelled. His protective grip on you tightened. “Cut the bullshit, Jongseong. The police are gonna be here soon, and they’re gonna take you straight to prison once they see what you did to Hoon.”

It was like a switch flipped in him. A distant part of your mind wondered if you could get everyone out of this—somehow bring Sunghoon back and go back to your normal life—but you immediately shut down that fantasy as soon as Jongseong’s eyes darkened.

In the darkness, you could make out an amused expression on his face. His smile took on a cold edge.

“Fine,” he bit out. “I’ll just have to get rid of you two before the police get here, then.”

You felt like your world slowed. Your eyes burned with the threat of tears. You could tell Jongseong was walking closer to you while Jaeyun was desperately trying to tug you and get you to run, but you were frozen in place. You wanted to believe that your old friend wouldn’t actually hurt you, but then you didn’t know what to think when he raised his knife.

It had all happened so fast. Too fast.

In your brief struggle as Jongseong tried to stab you, you heard a sharp gasp that tore you from your haze, like you had just been drenched in cold water. Brutally sober. You tried to push Jongseong off of you, but he was too heavy, too limp. Jaeyun shouldered his way between you two and shoved Jongseong back, grimacing when his skull hit the wood with a thud.

You heard one last, strangled gasp from Jongseong before he stopped breathing. The last star in his eyes twinkled until it dimmed for good.

Jongseong laid flat on the dock with his knife piercing his chest.

As you heard police sirens go off in the distance, Jaeyun wrapped his arms around you before you finally broke down into his chest.

Your best friends were dead and your world was broken beyond repair.

“So, it was self-defense?” Detective Lee asked, his piercing eyes boring right into yours. “Purely accidental? You had no intention of harming Park Jongseong?”

You shook your head. “I still couldn’t process the fact that he killed Sunghoon, so I didn’t think he’d actually try to hurt me.”

You wanted to cry. You bit your chapped lip, but all you could taste was blood that you doubted was even there. You couldn’t even say Sunghoon’s name without seeing that radiant smile of his stained with deep red.

You sucked in a shaky breath. “I’ve told you everything I know. Can I see Jaeyun now?”

Detective Lee eyed you for a moment. Finally, you saw some sort of sympathy in his gaze, although you felt sort of repulsed that you were being pitied in this state. The detective muttered something about him being back later, and he left the interrogation room, leaving you handcuffed to the table.

A minute passed by. Another. Several more.

You were pretty sure it had been at least an hour or two of staring at the wall, but the passage of time felt meaningless now. You could wait hours, even days, but you didn’t think you would ever be ready to confront what cruel reality awaited you.

You were so tired of everything, so exhausted that you didn’t even think about your parents until now. Were they here? Were they informed about your arrest? They must have been worried sick all night.

When the door opened, your head shot up.

“You’re free to go, Y/N,” Detective Lee said, pulling out a key to uncuff you from the table.

You were frozen. You just stared up at Detective Lee with your jaw hung open.

“I know this took awhile, but there was no security footage at the scene to confirm your story,” he elaborated. “But your stories matched up, and we found more evidence in the trunk of Jongseong’s car that he had been planning this murder.”

He helped you to your feet and escorted you out of the room. You were able to pick up everything they took from you before you were locked up in the holding cell—your keys, wallet, and your phone. Then, you were taken to the waiting room where your parents were seated at the far end.

At the sight of you, they all but leapt from their seats to rush over, hands cupping your face and arms embracing your weak, battered figure. There was so much love in their eyes, and their fear over possibly losing their daughter replaced any anger they had toward the situation. However, you wouldn’t have been surprised if you ended up getting an earful the next day.

“Mom, Dad,” you whimpered out, suddenly overcome with emotion. You were immediately aware of how weak and pathetic you felt. “I’m sorry, I—”

“Shh, it’s okay,” your father silenced you by rubbing your back in soothing circles. “Jaeyun’s family wanted us to let you know that he’s okay, too. They just took him home about ten minutes ago.”

You were slightly disappointed. Part of you was hoping that he would wait for you, but you figured Jaeyun’s family would have wanted to go home right away. You definitely would have felt better if you got to see your boyfriend in the flesh to make sure he was alive and well, but you weren’t going to complain now.

There was still a ghost of a smile on your lips as your parents walked you to their car. They gushed and gushed about how glad they were about you being safe and sound, and about how they never would’ve expected Jongseong of all people to end up being a murderer.

You were happy to be alive, of course, but you felt so empty.

You pulled out your phone to try and text Jaeyun, but, as you thought, it was dead.

“Mom, can I use your phone?” you asked, and you dialed Jaeyun’s number immediately as soon as she handed it to you. You had it memorized because it was a combination of numbers that was fairly easy to remember.

It rang four times, and by the fifth ring, you were scared that he wouldn’t pick up. But then, it beeped.

“Hello?” Jaeyun answered. “Who is this?”

It was like a huge weight was lifted off of your shoulders once you heard his voice. Despite Detective Lee informing you that Jaeyun was, indeed, alive, you felt more reassured hearing it from your boyfriend himself. You wanted to cry then and there, but you didn’t want to make your parents worry unnecessarily.

You forgot you were even supposed to respond when Jaeyun spoke again, “Is anyone there?”

“Jaeyun, it’s me,” you mumbled softly. “Y/N.”

You heard him suck in a sharp breath. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“I’m perfectly fine.”

Jaeyun gave you the breakdown of how his experience went, which took a completely different turn than yours. After receiving medical attention, they brought him back to his holding cell to sleep for hardly a few hours. The detective interrogating Jaeyun tried to build trust with him, telling him they wanted to help and just needed his confession. They lied about already having evidence that he killed Jongseong, but Jaeyun denied it and told them the whole story. He was only free to leave after they cross-examined his story with yours.

“Jesus,” you whispered into the phone, breathing out a small laugh. By now, you were already parked at your house and walking to your front door. “This is so fucked up.”

“Yeah,” he mumbled, “but we’ll get through it.”

“Yeah, Jae. Us against the world.”

Sim Jaeyun spent nine hours being questioned by authorities.

He knew the nature of the crime that occurred was complex, and he was still reeling from the loss and betrayal that left a deep wound in his chest, but there was something that terrified him still.

It wasn’t the murderous look in Park Jongseong’s eyes, or the blood completely drained from Park Sunghoon’s face.

Rather, what scared Jaeyun the most was that he spent so long pining after you and getting to know you at a deeper level. He genuinely fell hard for you, even though you had monsters in the closet. He thought he knew almost everything about you, like how you were a terrible liar.

Yet, you had just lied about everything that went down last night for nine hours straight.

What scared Jaeyun the most was how clueless he had been about who you really were.

Truthfully, he was also in the wrong for going along with your lie. It was definitely going to bite him back one day. In the moment, though, he was far too much of a coward to go against you. Although he was able to get Jungwon the justice he deserved and allowed his family to finally be at peace with answers, Jaeyun still felt horrible. He just remembered the desperate look in your eyes as your face and hands were stained with blood, begging him to protect you.

Jaeyun’s downfall must have been that he liked you too much to say no.

It was true that Jongseong called you in a panic, begging you to show up at the port as quickly as possible, and it was true that you wanted Jaeyun to drive you there instead of calling the cops first.

Jaeyun knew deep down that you were making the wrong choice, but he had hope that you knew what you were doing. Truthfully, although he liked you a lot, he was still wary about how you felt toward Sunghoon. He just couldn’t understand how you were still unconsciously protecting him after hearing what happened to Jungwon. He knew that you wanted answers, but Jaeyun was worried about how you’d react once you got them.

The real story—the one neither of you told the detectives—never started with Park Jongseong killing Park Sunghoon.

It really started when you and Jaeyun arrived at the port to see that no one was around. It was eerily quiet, and Jaeyun was starting to regret not turning around and heading straight for the police station. When you two got out of the car, you walked several feet down the line of shipping containers before returning to Jaeyun with a confused look on your face.

“I don’t see either of them,” you said, but then your eyes grew unfocused as you stared at something—or, rather, someone—behind Jaeyun.

He turned around to see Jongseong walking over to the two of you in a calm fashion, as if he had no other care in the world. The port was relatively an open space, so he had no idea where Jongseong could have emerged from. Jaeyun rolled his neck, more frustrated than anything.

“Jongseong!” you called out.

When he neared you two, Jongseong shoved his hands into his pockets. “Oh, you brought your boyfriend.”

“What’s going on?” you urged. “Is it Sunghoon? Did something happen to him?”

“Wow, that hurts, Y/N.” Jongseong barked out a laugh, but nothing about his tone sounded sincere. “I call you in the middle of the night and all you can think about is Hoon? Wow. How do you feel about that, Jaeyun?”

Jaeyun didn’t respond. He just glowered.

Nothing about this felt right.

You stammered, “I-I just assumed—”

“Put yourself in my shoes,” Jongseong cut you off with little regard for your excuses. “Sorry to say this in front of your boyfriend, but imagine how I feel when the girl I’ve liked for years only cares about my best friend.”

The air went still.

Your voice was barely a whisper when you asked, “Excuse me?”

Jaeyun pursed his lips together, and, for a moment, he thought his tongue would start bleeding if he bit it any harder. Sunghoon liked the girl that Jongseong liked, and if that girl was you, then Jaeyun was worried that he already lost you. He knew for months that he would never truly have you the way he wanted. Your feelings for Sunghoon were stronger, and although Jaeyun was able to pack his insecurities into a tiny ball and shove it down his throat, it was all coming out now.

His uneasy heart shattered into a million pieces once he caught a glimpse of your expression—hopeful and longing. And it wasn’t for Jongseong; it was for Sunghoon.

“Now that’s a great expression,” came an overly-enthusiastic voice from Jaeyun’s right.

Park Sunghoon was leaning against one of the shipping containers, arms folded across his chest before he uncrossed them and made his way toward the three of you. He must have been hiding behind the containers this whole time because Jaeyun hadn’t seen him at all before.

The situation was getting increasingly uncomfortable. Jaeyun wanted to shrink back when Sunghoon suddenly took great interest in him, keeping his eyes fixed on him instead of you or Jongseong. He used to have such bright and happy smiles, but, this time, Jaeyun almost thought his grin had been sliced into his face with a blade.

Sunghoon slung an arm over Jongseong’s shoulder. “Wow, Jae, now I really wanna see the look on your face when you’re in total despair,” he crooned, almost mocking. Jaeyun’s blood rushed in his ears when Sunghoon’s tongue swiped across one of his fangs. “You should’ve seen the look on Jungwon’s face.”

Jaeyun lunged before he could even think, but he stopped himself as soon as you held onto him, stopping him from hitting Sunghoon.

And that was when he knew he already lost you.

“Don’t,” you insisted.

“Are you serious?” he breathed out, brows knitting into a frown as he looked down at you.

Shame clung to your throat, keeping your mouth shut, but Jaeyun was more concerned now about the sharp blade pointed at his throat.

His Adam’s apple bobbed.

Jongseong had a paring knife pointed straight at him, and Sunghoon’s smile never faltered. They were clearly on the same side. There was a reason why Jeongseong never did anything about Sunghoon after killing Jungwon.

Jaeyun felt stupid for not putting it together earlier.

“I’d listen to your girlfriend,” Jongseong warned. His voice crawled all over him, freezing Jaeyun cold to the bone. “You might as well hear us out before you die here tonight.”

“Can’t exactly let you two run off now that you know what happened to Jungwon,” Sunghoon added.

“Jungwon was our friend,” Jaeyun hissed. “He was my best friend, you sick freak! What did you do to him? Why? He’s never… he never did anything wrong!”

“You’re right. He didn’t do anything wrong,” Sunghoon confirmed, surprisingly calm and collected. “In fact, he exceeded my expectations. It was a great performance, actually.” Jaeyun clenched his fist tight—so tight that his nails dug into his palms and drew blood—and Sunghoon took notice of this with a delighted hum. “You should’ve heard him scream, Jae. I had my doubts about him at first, but when he was begging me for his life, I’ve never seen anything so beautiful.”

You were distraught. “Sunghoon, you—”

It all happened in seconds, like a rubber band finally snapping after being stretched too thin. Jaeyun used his elbow to knock Jongseong’s arm out of the way, and he shoved Sunghoon as soon as he found an opening, driving his hands into his ribs. He heard you cry out, but Jaeyun could only see red until he was dragged back up by Jongseong, the sharp blade of the knife being pressed to his throat.

“Stop!” you cried. “Leave Jaeyun out of this! You wanted me, right? Just let him go. Please.”

“I don’t think so.” Sunghoon wrapped an arm around you. “You two already know too much, and Jongseong and I have been waiting for this finale for years.”

Your eyes had a faraway look in them for a moment before you turned your attention back to Jongseong. “You told me…”

“I told you that when we were fifteen, Sunghoon thought it would be fun to plan out a murder without getting caught,” Jongseong filled in the blanks for you, a haunting smile playing on his lips, “and I was in on it.”

Sunghoon tutted. “But you got it all wrong, Y/N. It wasn’t Jungwon’s murder that we were planning; it was yours.”

You looked up at him in horror.

Jaeyun struggled against Jongseong for a moment, face taut with unbridled anger. He just wanted to get to you. Get Sunghoon’s filthy hands off of you.

“I’m a writer. I write stories,” Sunghoon continued. “Isn’t it a great twist? Convincing my childhood best friend that I loved her all this time, only to reveal that she’s gonna die at my hands.” He scoffed. “Jungwon was just at the wrong place at the wrong time, but he was good practice. I was too careless back then. I shouldn’t have left all those drawings and papers out like that when he came over, but now I’m gonna finish the job properly.”

Your breathing was shallow. Jaeyun could see the flood of despair racking your body with soft sobs and quick pants. Your gaze fell to the ground, and Sunghoon peered to catch a better look at you.

“Good,” he praised. “That’s what I wanna see. Wow, that’s great, Y/N. I can’t wait to see more when—”

“Get the fuck away from her!” Jaeyun yelled, grunting when Jongseong pressed the knife harder against his supple skin.

With an exaggerated flourish of his hands, Sunghoon raised both arms and backed up as if he was a deer caught in headlights. He wore an easygoing smile, yet something sinister was tucked behind the curve of his lips. Your inconsolable self stayed fixed in place, staring helplessly at your shoes.

“For the past two years, I’ve been isolating myself from the friend group for the sake of this story and its ending,” Sunghoon said. “I think I deserve a little fun right now, Jae.”

“Fuck you,” Jaeyun spat. “You deserve to go to Hell.”

Sunghoon took a step closer to Jaeyun, ducking his head so that they were at eye-level with each other. Jaeyun tried to struggle against Jongseong once more, but he froze when the knife pierced his skin. He felt something trickle down the column of his neck, and he soon realized it was his own blood.

“It’s hard, isn’t it?” Sunghoon mocked a pout. He lowered his voice by an octave, only for Jaeyun to hear. “Competing with a childhood friend is brave, I’ll tell you that.”

Jaeyun’s blood boiled. To his surprise, Sunghoon gestured for Jongseong to let go of him. He took the paring knife from his friend and handed it to Jaeyun.

“Take it,” Sunghoon said. “Why don’t you try killing me? You wanna get back at me, right? I killed your best friend, after all.”

Owlish, he blinked back at Sunghoon, almost absently. Jaeyun really considered it for a moment—like, really considered it. Some part of him wanted to senselessly beat Sunghoon up until he was unrecognizable, but the morally righteous side of him knew that he could never stoop to Jongseong or Sunghoon’s level.

Jaeyun took the knife by the handle, weighing it in his palm experimentally before chucking it away—far from both Sunghoon and Jongseong. Jaeyun was pretty sure he could overtake Jongseong if Sunghoon turned his back, but he wasn’t sure if Jongseong had another weapon up his sleeve. He heard the blade skid and scrape against the concrete, and he could only hope that Sunghoon and Jongseong being distracted by him would give you time to escape.

But Jeongseong immediately stopped you as soon as he saw you picking up the knife, and he let go of Jaeyun to grab ahold of you. Jaeyun tried to yank Jongseong back by the back of his shirt, but Sunghoon grabbed a fistful of his hair and slammed his head against the metal of one of the shipping containers.

Jaeyun’s world was thrown off-balance. The ground bounced, tilted, swayed. He was so dizzy and disoriented that he couldn’t tell if his head was spinning or if he was collapsing.

The corners of his vision grew hazy with white splotches dancing around. Jaeyun tried hard to focus, making out some of the yelling that was going back and forth, but he couldn’t think at all when a newly-formed cut on his forehead was getting blood all over his face and hands.

He doubled forward, falling onto his knees. Jaeyun had to stay there for a while and ride out the intense waves of vertigo until he was stable again. When the world finally returned to its normal axis and stopped bouncing under him, Jaeyun lifted his head to see you and Jongseong screaming at each other.

And Sunghoon was on the ground.

He stumbled over, and it was as if the white noise in Jaeyun’s ears had drowned out everything in the background. He couldn’t see or focus on anything except the pained look on Sunghoon’s face as the color drained from his neck. Blood was gushing from his jugular vein, and he was digging his palm into his neck to put pressure on the wound.

“—you stabbed him!” you screamed at Jongseong. Your voice was hysterical; Jaeyun had never heard you sound so desperate, not even when he was being held at knifepoint.

“Fuck, Y/N, I wouldn’t have hurt him if you didn’t pull on my arm!” Jongseong yelled back. He sank to the ground, simultaneously dropping the knife and dropping his head between his knees.

The sight was miserable to watch. Jongseong wailed loud and mournful until he couldn’t take it anymore, doubling over so that he could throw up until nothing but bile was coming out. When it seemed as though he had nothing else to heave out of his stomach, Jongseong sat up for a brief moment. You and Jaeyun watched as his eyes rolled back almost instantly, falling onto his back and hitting his skull against the concrete. The exhaustion must have finally caught up to him, and you two didn’t have long until he was conscious again.

Jaeyun turned his attention back to Sunghoon, watching his life bleed out of his body slowly. For some reason, an odd disconnect came over Jaeyun, and he bent down to help apply pressure over Sunghoon’s wound. At first, Sunghoon gritted his teeth, but even he knew when to accept help when it was needed.

Sim Jaeyun was pretty sure he was broken beyond belief by now, but it was impossible for him to ignore someone who was dying right before him.

Even if he murdered Jungwon.

“Y/N, we need to get him to a—”

Jaeyun cut himself off when he looked up at you to see that your expression had changed. Something was different. You looked like numbness had seeped into your body, coiling around your heart until you couldn’t feel anything. The way you looked down at Jongseong, clutching his knife tightly, made Jaeyun worry.

“Y/N,” Jaeyun said again—slower, “whatever you’re thinking… please put it down.”

It didn’t seem like you were listening, though. Almost as if your body and brain were at two different places.

“Y/N—” Jaeyun shuddered when you brought the knife down, driving it straight into Jongseong’s chest.

Jaeyun’s stomach lurched. He watched as Jongseong struggled for his life, hardly conscious as you repeatedly stabbed him over and over again until Jaeyun was yelling at you to stop. He was sure he would never be able to close his eyes again without hearing Jongesong’s blood-curdling screams and seeing Sunghoon’s face drained of color.

“Wow,” Sunghoon choked out. One last amused look crossed his face before it fell apart painfully. “I told you, Jae, there’s no competing with a childhood best friend.” Jaeyun flushed with anger, but it dissolved quickly when he realized Sunghoon’s breathing got slower, shallower. The look on his face was one of someone accepting their untimely death. “Thanks for the show, though.”

In his arms, Sunghoon took his last breath and went still.

It wasn’t grief that Jaeyun felt. It was something far greater.

“Jaeyun, I—I didn’t mean to,” you sobbed out, shakily holding up your bloodstained hands. “It was self-defense! I tried to stop him, but he was trying to kill me, and then he… he killed Sunghoon. I couldn’t do anything else. I couldn’t run, I couldn’t—” You exhaled shakily. “I couldn’t do anything else.”

Jaeyun didn’t respond. He just stared at you in disbelief.

“Come on, Jae,” you pleaded. Oh, so it was Jae now. “You have to help me get rid of their bodies. I can’t go to prison!”

“Get rid of the body?” Jaeyun raised his voice, exasperated. “Y/N, they’re dead! We have to tell the police everything. I mean, what are you gonna do when your prints match?”

Your lips pressed together in a grim line. “Your prints are on the knife, too.”

Were you blackmailing him? Jaeyun couldn’t believe what he was hearing from you. He never expected you, of all people, to be the one to throw him under the bus like this. He had trusted you with his life before, and you threw it all away in seconds.

“Are you going to help me or not?” You looked toward the dock over the water. It was a good enough distance for you to drag Sunghoon and Jongseong’s bodies over to, but Jaeyun sure as hell didn’t want to get involved. “Just help me throw them in the water, and we can both walk away from this, Jae. We can go back to our lives, okay?”

He shook his head sadly. You just sounded like a stranger to him.

“Please, Y/N,” he pleaded, tears stinging his eyes, “please stop this. You have to turn yourself in.”

But his resolve was shaky. Jaeyun knew that he would still be booked once they found his prints at the scene, and there was no telling what you would do to protect yourself. By now, Jaeyun wouldn’t have been surprised if you somehow pushed the crime onto him.

“Jae, listen to me,” you insisted. Your eyes were wide and brimming with tears, and Jaeyun couldn’t help but think you looked a little crazed. “We can both get out of this, but you have to help me out here. We’re gonna tell them that Jongseong killed Sunghoon before we got here, and then he chased us until we ended up stabbing him out of self-defense. I mean, that’s all this was, anyway! It was self-defense!”

A distant part of Jaeyun’s mind wondered what happened to you. He wondered if you had always been this way, perhaps keeping it tucked away. In the end, you were still trying to protect Sunghoon in your own way. You were still trying to protect some fragment of his golden image.

“It’s you and me,” you whispered, kneeling down by your boyfriend’s side until you were cupping his face with your hands, staining his cheeks with Jongseong’s blood, “the two of us against the world.”

Just hours ago, Sim Jaeyun looked at you like you were his entire world.

And now, with your bloodstained hands holding his face, there was unmistakable fear behind his eyes as he looked up at you.

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ thank you so so much for reading if you made it all the way to the end !! i would lovee for you to guys to share what you thought, but just to point a few things out, jake's pov was the unfiltered version of what went down that night. the dialogue from mc is similar to jongseong's because while she painted him out to be the villain in the end to protect sunghoon, it was really her who said those things. originally this had a happier ending but i'm a lot more satisifed with this one actually. i hope you guys liked it !! <3 also i am deciding against using my permanent tag list this time because i haven't used it in a year and don't know if anyone exactly signed up to read horror 🧎‍♀️

#i have so much to say for this fic this is so hauntingly good and have me feeling like submerge into this story & felt like i was part of it #second of all whoever put this up on my dash i hope u have a wonderful day this fic just change the trajectory of my life #THE CHILLS???? THE BATED BREATH I TAKE BC OF THE FLOW OF THE STORY #The characterization is INSANE and PERFECT i love it so much #jaehyun's words hits like a truck when he told us about ppl thinking they could just shoot as they please because its bulletproof #IM SO INSANELY INVESTED ABOUT THIS #THE PLOT TWIST????? AMAZING WONDERFUL #the way i felt all the emotions and it resonated with me i ACTUALLY felt the confusion of feelings for sunghoon and jake #the way I ACTUALLY felt sunghoons emotions and sinister aura just through the words is beyond me & i mean this in the most positive way /pos #the shock & immediate response about the deaths?? INSANE #the spiralling down of the reader itself has been conveyor so astonishingly #jaehyuns realization & fear about the reader his compliance and the confliction of his values and feelings really did shaken me also #you wrote each members so well how a lil bit of their mannerisms were picked up in the story and the cohesiveness of it untill the very end #THISS IS ONE OF THE MOST AMAZING FIC I HAVE EVER READ HERE #the reader is a smart one on this #the way the reader has picked up on sunghoons words habits thinking the way she slowly emerge herself from that same darkness sunghoon had #i felt so sos os sad about jungwon ive actually cried tears and mourn for him #the way thus is all so twisted and fucked up just makes sense in my brain #DARE I SAY ONE OF TEH MOST AMAZIBG FIC HERE THANK YOU SO MUCH DEAR AUTHOR FOR WRITING THIS AMAZING FIC I JOPE YOU HAVE AMZINH DAY #“us against the world yeah?”#will forever haunt me + u have just change this sentence for me and everytime i hear it or read i will always think about this fic #the way i gasped #with everything and my hands was really on my mouth THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL & WONDERFUL #RECOMMENDING TO EVERYONE!!! YALL SHOULD READ THIS MASTERPIECE #sunghoon x reader #jake x reader #jay x reader #enhypen x reader #꒰ recs ꒱

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fangel · 13 days ago

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harvest of purity receiving so much love is incredible. fair warning, i will be annoying today and reblogging feedback comments. more later tho bc busy this morning. i need to look back on them when i doubt myself lol

#ppl are saying they cried reading it ?!#whatintheworld but also cool lol

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itsalwaysdark · 4 months ago

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tangentially prev i literally used to get stressed out when i was a kid bc like i knew animals had different lifespans than people and id lie awake and id be like . if a deer was born in the wild at the same moment as me itd probably be dead by now . and id get so stressed out abt it

#Tanrentially related to rhis is i used to just get so stressed out as a kid bc i was like . one day there will be no more ppl born in 2005 #and there will never be New people who were born in 2005 or any other year the number only ever goes down once the years done. this was a #big fear for younger me For some reason. it was this and the like. ok. so #two things. 1. i used to just space out and truly forget i was human and be fully one with a universe and then id despair when i remembered #that i was avtually just a little girl and a real person and i existed. bc id zoom out and it all seemed so inconsequential and it was #lovely. i say 'used to' this still happens just not the same way #and rhe other thing is Id get incredibly freaked out bc id like. id be doing something like. nothing. passing time or reading or whatever #but then id have a moment of clarity and id be like. If i forget this moment tomorrow did it ever actually happen. and id think of how many #moments r just gone from my life bc i dont remember them like. that was a big fear for me as a kid was id just be sitting somewhere and id #be like. this moment is real right now because im living it but if i forget about it than it never actually happened because im not like.#being observed. its just me and if i dont remember it than it never really happened. and this happened so often that it felt like a chain of #myself thinking that exact same thought and just like. looking back and seeing all those moments Kind of thing. but anyways basically i dont #think either of those early fears and terrors have anything to do with my current day psyche so we dont need to talk abt it 👍 except that #we like. have. bc i talked abt it... but whateverrr not my business !#its kinda funny tho i remember like. trying to talk to my dad abt my like Deeply held fear that i wasnt real unless i was being observed #and his response was basically like. That sounds crazy. dont say stuff like that it makes you sound crazy . DJFNJFNGG #and then later was shocked when i didnt go to him for mental health help and its like ... well ... + just yelling at me whenever i cried in #front of him to either 'tell him why i was upset or hed guve me something to cry about'#and its like. well tbh father i dont actually want to explain that im being groomed online rn in the car with the entire family here #including The baby and the 6 year old . but ok . thats cool. and obviously id cry more from being yelled at #sry this got whiny its fine. i was annoying for crying in front of everyone NFNFJFN even tho i wasnt trying to. obviously. i hate crying in #front of ppl

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pepshee · 8 days ago

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Jealousy, or Jealous Hee

⋆˙ ⋆⭒˚.⋆

Pairing - ex!heeseung x fem!reader

Genre - college!au, smut, angst, exes to ??

Word Count - 3.2k

Synopsis - Heeseung was the perfect boyfriend and your first for everything romantic. When he broke up with you out of the blue and changed his entire personality you didn't know what to do. Until you saw him at a house party that is.

Warnings - cursing, drinking, angst, suggestive, mentions of jake + other idols, arguing, heeseung is a playboy, house party, creampie, oral (f rec.), p in v, mentions of smoking, lmk if i missed anything ! 18+ MDNI!

A/N - this is only my second fic ever and i didnt expect ppl to actually like the last one.. i'm adding smut this time cause i feel it's fitting. please give feedback!! this also might be a multi part fic if ppl want it... this is my first time writing smut too i hope it's good for yall😞 ive read a ton of smut fics so im using those as my references 🙏

PART TWO

Your relationship with Heeseung was going super well. Everyone said you two were soulmates, and were made for each other. You were practically glued at the hip, and did everything together including applying to the same college. You guys celebrated so much when you were both accepted. You knew you wouldn't be in the same dorm per the university guidelines, you both were still so happy.

It was everything you could ever ask for. The summer before college you two went on a long beach trip by yourselves even though neither of your parents approve, but who cares? You're adults now anyways.

The beach trip went super well and you two had lots of fun together, and lots of sex..

He helped you move into your dorm as back to school season is starting and everyone knows it's better to move into your dorm prior to starting school. You also helped him move into his dorm as well.

That was two and a half years ago though.. He broke up with you two days before the first day without an explanation..

────୨ৎ────

It's been two and a half years since the breakup and you still never got an actual reason. All you know is two days before both of your first days of your freshman year in college he texted you saying, "I wanna break up, I'm sorry, I'll miss you," that's it.

After the breakup he changed completely. He became a playboy. He started smoking, drinking alcohol, going to house parties, hooking up, and he'd skip classes sometimes. You never could've imagined he'd do this. To you he was a perfect angel, but it's like a switch flipped on him.

You're both now in your junior year of college. You both went your respective ways but you're not over it, and you don't think you ever will be. When he broke up with you, you cried all night and all day, never leaving the bed nor the dorm. Your roommate, Giselle, only having known you for a week had taken care of you and comforted you. She's now your best friend and she still hears you cry sometimes but pretends not to hear it knowing you were trying to hide it.

Heeseung broke your heart and you don't think you could ever recover even nearly three years later. What's even worse is that he became popular. You heard about his every move pretty much considering everyone was pretty much obsessed with him. It was always 'heeseung this' or 'heeseung that,' you were sick of it. Not because you hated him, hell, how could you hate someone you dated since your freshman year of high school?

You had always heard about his new girlfriends cause it was always the next big news on campus, which you never understood considering they'd only last a maximum a week. This new version of him was unlikable, at least to you, others didn't seem to care that he kept playing these girls. They somehow keep throwing themselves at him claiming they're different. They always expect to be the one to 'fix him' or the one he decides to keep but it never ends up working for them.

The more you heard about him the more it seemed like he was trying to stray far from the lover boy personality he had years ago. The truth is that you still love and miss him, you know it's far gone by now but how could you forget dating someone for five years just for him to break up with you without an explanation?

You couldn't bring yourself to confront him, text him, nor talk to him. It was like that part of your life was imaginary. You hated it, you hated that it happened like this, and most of all, you hated that you didn't know why.

────୨ৎ────

Today you and your friends had planned to go to your friend's house party. Years ago you wouldn't have imagined going to a college party, but that's because you and Heeseung were together and you would've rather hung out with him. Now that you're broken up, you figured at least the free alcohol could help. You've gone to a few parties now, but only the ones that are on weekends.

It was Friday and you only had two classes today. One that was two hours long, and one that was about an hour and a half. You get up and get dressed, wearing just a casual T-Shirt with some shorts as it was pretty warm outside. You finish getting ready, and do your makeup, curl your hair, and grab your stuff before leaving your dorm room.

Your first class was pretty boring as always. it was a literature class which honestly didn't even go with your major but you still had to take it for some reason.

Your second class was also boring, but thankfully it was shorter, even if only by 30 minutes.

Finally, you were done with classes for the day and you and your friends decided to meet up at a nearby restaurant to eat before the party because you're all likely gonna drink alcohol.

After arriving at the restaurant you wait out front for your friends to arrive. It only takes them a short while. All of you walk in to get seated and order your food and drinks.

"So did any of you see Heeseungs new girl?" Your friend Moka had asked. Your friends knew about your history with Heeseung, but they still insisted on gossiping about him for some reason. "No, who is it now?" Giselle was curious, as always, she loved to gossip.

"It's Nayeon, she's so pretty. Do you guys think he will ever settle down with someone?" Yujin responded, you stayed silent throughout the exchange which was a normal occurrence whenever Heeseung was brought up.

Finally the waiter brings all of your orders. You all start to eat and enjoy the food you had ordered. You thought they would drop the topic of Heeseung but they didn't. "Hey look at Heeseung's story!" Karina turned her phone to the rest of you. On the screen you see a photo of Heeseung, with Nayeon, but it's in the cafe you two used to go to all the time when you were together. The text on the photo reads "same place, different person," it was like he was taunting you, like he knew you would see it, like he knew you'd be affected. You tried not to let it show but he was right, it did affect you.

All the memories started flowing back of all the times you two went there, you went so much to the point the employees already knew what you both would order without having to ask. It was your favorite place to go when you had downtime, and when you could leave school in the middle of the day when you were seniors in high school. You had never imagined a life without Heeseung but now you do and it's hard.

You're pulled out of your thoughts by Giselle speaking to you. "Y/N, are you okay? You seemed out of it, and you haven't touched your food much," you nodded letting her know you're okay. "Yeah, I'm fine, sorry," you reassured everyone and went back to eating.

────୨ৎ────

The time of the party was now approaching. You all decided to facetime while getting ready. You decided to get a little scandalous with your outfit which you usually never did. You put on a black lace cropped tank top, with a denim mini skirt which was just a bit too small for you, but that's the point. You put on a pair of thigh highs, heels, do your makeup, curl your hair, and finally add some finishing touches of jewelry.

You and Giselle leave your dorm and head to the campus courtyard to meet up with the other two girls. "Oh my god, Y/N, you look so hot, you have to dress like this more often," you giggle at Karina's compliments. The four of you meet your friend Minnie who is the designated driver. She doesn't like to drink alcohol, but she still wanted to go to the party so she agreed to be the DD.

It only took about 20 minutes to get to the party, you don't know whose house it was but it was pretty large. You all enter the party, and decide to split up. You head to the kitchen immediately wanting to drink some alcohol. You see multiple empty, full, and half-full bottles of various alcohols. You don't even pay attention to whichever one you grab, you just pour it into a cup. The alcohol leaves a small burning sensation in the back of your throat. You walk towards the living room where the majority of people are, but you spot someone you weren't ready to come face to face with yet as the wound is still wide open... Heeseung..

He was with his douchey friends that he had made after he did a complete 180 with his personality. The seven boys were always causing a stir, but they were so hot you had to admit...

You hadn't realized you were staring at him, but he had.

Heeseung was talking with his friends until he had a feeling someone was staring at him. He thought it was just another girl that wanted to suck him off or something. He turned his head to find you staring his way. He didn't really know how to react really, it's been a while since he'd since you despite you two being on the same college campus. He'd only seen you from a distance really.

The truth is he did miss you, and he would purposefully post his new girls just cause he knew you would see and would get jealous. He knew it was toxic and wrong but he didn't really care. At first he had no interest in posting the girls he was with because it would only be for a short while. That was until he started to miss you, miss everything you did together, miss your lips, your smile, your laugh, everything about you. That's when he started to try and make you jealous, and as far as he can tell it's working.

As he looks back at you his lips curve into a smirk before he excuses himself from his friends, "yo, guys, I'll be right back alright?" he announced. His friends give him small smirks knowing that usually when he excuses himself at a party it's for a girl.

You only realize he was staring back at you when he starts to approach you. You internally start freaking out not knowing what to do. Before you can come up with something he's already in front of you.

"Y/N. You're dressed... quite.. sexy.." His smirk gets even larger as those words come out his mouth. "You're also quite flushed, you're already drunk aren't you?" Shit, you hadn't even realized the alcohol had kicked in.

"What do you want Heeseung," you tried to sound mad and upset but it turned out more slurred than you wanted due to the alcohol in your system.

"To talk to my sexy ex-girlfriend, is there an issue?" You hated the cockiness in his voice. You hated how he was acting like nothing happened, like it was all okay, like you didn't cry, and throw up multiple days straight.

"Don't act like nothing happened. You broke up with me out of the blue.. You fucking hurt me." Your words now finally pack the punch you wanted the whole time.

"Come on don't act like that, seriously, just talk to me and be civil Y/N," a fake pout formed on his face as if trying to earn sympathy points from you.

"Can you take shit seriously for once? Ever since we broke up you changed and I fucking hate it! You would've never acted like this two and a half years ago!" You raised your voice at him, it's not loud enough for everyone to hear but some people nearby steal glances at the two of you. "Come on you don't mean that baby," He was starting to irritate you. Does he seriously have no shame? How did he end up like this?

"God you're so irritating you know that?! You're acting like you didn't break my heart, like you didn't leave me high and dry, without a rhyme or reason," now yelling at him because his act was getting to you, how could he be so nonchalant about this?

"Calm down okay? Let's talk about this when you're not drunk, don't cause a scene, you're gonna regret it later baby," his words weren't working on you, but then you then you thought about it. Maybe he was right, you should calm down, you hated creating scenes.

"Why're you calling me baby Heeseung?" Your voice is now softer, no longer yelling at him.

"You used to be my baby," you really didn't know how to react to his words, after all it's his fault you're broken up.

Your thoughts are immediately interrupted by his lips on yours. A feeling you haven't felt in so long. The kiss begins to become more like making out, his tongue dancing with yours and his hands on your waist. You wrap your arms around his neck pulling him closer and deepening the kiss.

He breaks the kiss to catch his breath and to say, "you're so lucky my buddy Jake owns this house. Follow me to the bedroom baby," the alcohol, and desire completely throw all of your common sense and critical thinking out the window. He takes your hand and leads you upstairs to an empty bedroom.

Once in the bedroom he immediately closes and locks the door before pinning you against it. Before you can process anything his lips are once again on yours moving hungrily.

He breaks away to remove your top, which coincidentally you weren't wearing a bra under. He lets out a small gasp but then a smirk curves onto his lips. His hands grab onto your breasts kneading them before taking one into his mouth.

You moan at the sensation and move one of your hands to his hair gripping it lightly. "Hee–" your breathless words made him want you even more.

He releases your breasts and removes his own shirt, unbuttoning it quickly.

Seeing his bare torso after so long could've made you cum on the spot, you loved his abs so much, you'd caress them randomly even if you were just cuddling and watching tv. "You're drooling Y/N," he chuckles. "No I'm not!" trying to wipe the saliva that had escaped the corners of your mouth.

He takes your hand and drags you over to the bed pushing you down onto it gently. He climbs on top of you, now hovering above you. He kisses you again while his hands move to the waistband of your short skirt. He breaks the kiss for a moment, "can I?" he asks, waiting for you to grant him permission to remove it.

You nod unable to form words momentarily. He wastes no time unbuttoning the denim skirt and unzipping it. He pulls it down leaving you in just your baby pink lacy underwear.

"These are so cute baby, I love this new pair," Heeseung had seen pretty much every pair of your underwear while you were together. You two were quite the hormonal teenagers in high school.

He then removes his pants, now leaving the two of you in just your underwear.

He reaches to remove your underwear sliding it down your legs before tossing it somewhere in the room. He slowly spreads your legs giving himself a view of your bare pussy. "Just how I remember it... So wet and pretty for me. He'd always do this whenever you two had sex. He'd spend so much time complimenting your pussy as if it could hear him. You always had to beg and plead for him to do something to you. "I'm gonna eat her okay?" he looks up at you waiting for approval whilst positioning his head between your legs.

"Please..." he doesn't hesitate after hearing your breathless plea to start licking your folds. The sensation is one you haven't felt in a while making it feel foreign to you once again. "Hee—" you moan. Your fingers bury themselves into his soft locks.

He continues to lick and occasionally sucks on your clit. He then inserts two fingers and starts moving them in and out of you. The double stimulation from his tongue and fingers making you see colors, the grip on Heeseung's and hair and your grip on the sheets making your knuckles turn white slightly. It's surprising how you're not ripping out his hair at this point. "Shit- Heeseung.. I'm gonna c-cum!" You can feel him smirking against your cunt as your loud moaning signifies your approaching orgasm.

Before you can let it go he pulls away making you whimper at the loss of stimulation, and the emptiness without his fingers. You're about to complain but he opens his mouth before you, "I want you to cum on my dick, not my tongue baby."

He then pulls down his boxers revealing his hard length, the one you haven't seen in nearly three years. You still loved it though, it was so big, thick and veiny... It was one of your favorite things about him, how blessed he was to be so big.

He pumps himself a few times before positioning himself between your legs. "You ready for me?" you couldn't tell if he was talking to you, or your pussy but you responded anyway "yes... please..."

He slowly inserts himself into your entrance going slowly so you can adjust to his size. You moan at the feeling of him stretching you. He bottoms out, pausing for a moment to let you adjust. "Please— can you move," you whine. He chuckles at your words before he starts moving his thrusts starting out slow before he starts speeding it up, the sounds of skin slapping together fills the room as he splits your hole open. You can feel the tip of his cock kissing your cervix.

"You feel so good baby, just how I remember. So tight for me baby," he groans as he feels you clench around him at his words. "Seungie-" your fingers gripping the sheets tighter.

"I know baby, I know," he knew exactly what was happening. He loved the sound of you calling him his old nickname. "Let go for me baby, we'll cum at the same time."

All it takes is a few more thrusts for you both to let go, the knot that was forming in your stomach finally snapping. You felt his warm release coating your walls, and you felt your release mixing with his. He pulled out of you gently, careful as to not hurt you. You could feel the liquids spilling out and sliding down your ass.

Heeseung lays next to you looking into your eyes, "goodnight Y/N," he says softly. You give him a gentle smile before closing your eyes and going to sleep.

What happens now?

What happens between you two?

Do you get back together?

PART TWO HERE

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heich0e · 11 months ago

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thank u to everyone who replied/interacted with this. it feels so silly to say but it means a lot and i hope you know there is a very soggy girl out there in the world who is endlessly grateful to have and to know u (in whatever strange digital capacity this may be)

Not an exaggeration I have been crying for 16 hours straight (-4 hour sleep intermission)

#if nothing else this is just a reminder that behind it all—the fics and the art and the silly jokes and the pixels or whatever—#we're all just real human ppl who sometimes go through awful shit or massive triumphs and also everything in between #we're all living complex lives outside of the small ones we've made for ourselves here on this one remote corner of the internet #but boy oh boy am i glad that our worlds here overlap. today especially #if you replied: thank you so much. i love you and appreciate it more than i can say. cried too much reading them #i would reply to u each individually but i'm at max capacity emotionally rn and i'm sorry bc u deserve a thoughtful reply #even just your little likes were seen and felt and appreciated. love u guys a lot

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madamechrissy · 3 months ago

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Keep This Low Key

💜 Pairings: Choso x F!reader- and Gojo x reader- Rating: Explicit- MDNI

💜 Contents/Warnings: Remember this is a slow burn. You'll hate Cho in this and reader lol. In this chapter, blow jobs, sixty nine, kissing, fingering and play. Jealous angst. Warning- the reader and Choso are with other ppl (intimately- reader w/Gojo in this chap- cho w/Amber) They're idiots. Plz don't read if upset about this kind of thing, Cho and reader are NOT dating but still. HEAVY ANGST this chap like I cried writing it.

💜 Word Count: this chap - 10.8k (longest so far!)

💜 Summary: You have been Choso's best friend for years, and one night he has a date with Yuki, his girlfriend, while you have a date with Ino, your boyfriend, only for them both to break up with you at the same time! You all think of calling each other, but run right into each other. Choso brings you home since you didn't even have your car, and you two are crying over a couple beers and a silly movie, only to have a sudden idea. Why not say fuck dating, fuck heartbreak, and just fuck each other?

No drama, no mess, no upset, and you two are such good friends, nothing can go wrong, right? The only agreement is no feelings, and if you all find a s/o, you'll end things. But the moment Choso opens his heart to you, and the moment you start falling, things get messy, as you realize he's the best you've had, and you're falling hard. Will you all stay friends, become more, or will everything blow up?

✨️Comments and reblogs appreciated if you enjoy ✨️

Chapter Three 💜 Masterlist 💜 Playlist 💜

Chapter Four

Choso’s POV

Choso and you are out shopping at the mall, it’s been so long since you all have done this, used to be a frequent occurrence for you. You both walk into Hot Topic, you giggle at the memories in the dark store with the blaring emo music, fingers brushing against a black anime shirt as Choso starts looking at some of the black spiky bracelets on the racks.

“God, too many memories here.” He muses, looking at you with a little smile, you’re so pretty today, you’re just in some ripped jeans and a band tee, his band on you, more like how he remembers you. Though Choso adores each and every version of you over the many years, something is so sweet when you’re comfortable and casual with him like this.

“A lot of memories.” You agree, bending over then, those jeans are tight and form fitting, and the sight of your ass like this?

After he’d literally edged you a week ago, you all had done nothing but hang out, the entire time he’s constantly dying to taste you again, to touch you, but it seemed like you weren’t backing down, and neither was he. He feels horrible that you saw that kiss, the kiss that happened because the thought of you with Gojo had him feeling so petty, so stupid.

Now to think you saw him? How did it make you feel? How did Gojo make you feel, having left a bruise on your pretty neck, how did you like kissing him? The thoughts are destroying him, it’s as if you won’t leave his head, leave his every dream, he can practically taste you in his memories on his tongue. Like some drug he’s now addicted to but can’t have.

And you’re right there, but not there. You’re a little distant, and it breaks him, it confuses him, did you not want him anymore? Was Gojo in your head like high school, should he protect his heart? A million questions enter Choso’s already scattered brain while studying your delicate features, your pretty face that won’t leave his brain for even a second.

Sleeping with you had made every feeling from high school come back with a vengeance, and knowing Gojo is in the picture is torture, it’s as if you’re just out of reach, and now he knows that he hurt you too. After you all slept together and you had run, he’d been so upset, so worried about it, and you must have thought he had just dismissed what happened.

Choso jerked off before even coming to get you today, he’d hoped it would give him just a little clarity, but you fuck his mind up any which way. Just inhaling your scent when you hug him, that fruity shampoo you use, whatever body spray it is you’ve used since school days, takes over his senses, whatever he has left of them. Just feeling your warm body, your soft skin.

You walk up to him now, brushing against him, looking at the bracelets he’s completely forgotten about. “Those are so cool! You should get em, Cho bear.”

“You think so?” You nod, and he hums to himself, peeking over at them and snatching them up. “If you like them.”

“I do! Ugh we spent so much time here, oh and Spencers! We should go there next.” You giggle, the sound so pleasing to his ears, especially since you’ve been a little quiet and distant this week. He looks down at you, your eyes are glittering, you’re biting your lower lip.

“We will. What about this shirt, isn’t that your anime husbando?” You laugh at that, nodding. “Grab that one then. Oh, this skirt…”

“It’s too short!”

“Could wear it around me.” He says before he thinks better, and watches you blush all over as you do, down your neck and even your chest, while he holds up the little pink plaid skirt with chains.

“Wear it around you, why?” You finger the material, shyly looking down, Choso steps closer, leaning down and grabbing your hip, you suck in a breath, and he feels your body tense.

“Why wouldn’t I wanna see you in that? Die to see your pretty legs in it-” His phone starts ringing now, making him take a breath and a step back, you curiously look at it, lips tensing just a bit.

“Ah, is that the girlfriend?” You ask, putting the skirt on the wrack and turning away from him.

“I don’t have a girlfriend.” He wants you as his girlfriend, god it’s not even a good enough word for what he really wants, but how does he even say it!? How can he ruin you being in his life, what if he’s not ‘manly’ enough for you, too? What if he’s not good enough!?

He gulps down his words as you turn back and look at it, ringing again. “Well you can answer it, I’m just your friend remember, no biggie.” Your words make him sick to his stomach, churning all around, sure it’s true but…

Fuck, it hurts.

He doesn’t even care for this girl either way, she’s some distraction, and she’s overtly distracting him. She’s a huge fan of his band and has been, so she’s quite annoyingly persistent. She’s sweet and very pretty, but god just look at you, at how beautiful you are just existing near him, in his orbit, pulling him in with that gravity you’re clueless of.

Having pushed you in the dark recesses of his mind for so long and forcing himself to see you as a best friend had been so difficult, but since your intimacy it’s become impossible. It’s as if you both opened some can of worms you really should not have, but now he’s dying to do it again, again, again.

He wants you to cum all over his cock again, fuck especially without the protection, so insane it had felt, the only time he had done so. He wants to fill you up full of his cum, watch it ooze out of your perfect little cunt, just to put more loads inside of you. You do something to him Yuki never did, no one ever has, it’s things he didn’t even know he craved.

“Cho, it’s three calls, answer.” You sound irritated then, Choso sighs.

“It’s rude.”

“It’s not, go ahead.” Choso steps out now, taking a breath of air and entering the busy mall right outside of the open Hot Topic doors.

“Hello?” He asks, he hopes he doesn’t sound rude, but he’s annoyed that she’s called so much.

“Choso! Oh my god, listen, I have such a good gig for you all. I just had to tell you!” Amber says, oh yeah that’s her name… Choso forgets, it seems the only name ingrained in his mind is yours now.

“Oh shit, what is it?” He asks, he’s excited for such an opportunity, Amber has a lot of connections as well, but he is looking at you as you’re making purchases, curious what you got yourself. The cashier is making eyes at you, but who wouldn’t?

“It’s at a huge venue for the rockfest coming up! They said they’d love to have you, but you will have to come meet them so we can register and prep. Are you down this afternoon?” Choso pauses, he’d promised you the day together, you both had wanted to do the mall, food and hit the movies.

But the rockfest is huge and the biggest event there is for discovering new rock bands, with heavy hitters everywhere. He’s absolutely sure Megumi and Yuji will lose their minds when he tells them. “That’s an insane opportunity, you don’t have to do all of this you know.”

“Of course I do, I believe in you. Also, I’d love to see you again.” Her voice drops a suggestive octave, you come out with a little smile now, standing next to him and poking around on your phone.

“Yeah, I’ll definitely be there. Can you shoot me a text with what time and where?”

“Sure thing, love. See you soon!” She hangs up now, and you frown a bit when Choso sighs.

“Everything okay?” You ask softly, a hand on his arm.

“Good news, she actually got me a gig opportunity at the rockfest coming up next week.”

“Oh my god that’s amazing!” You hug him, giggling, god you feel good against him. “I can’t wait! Listen I just bought you a bunch of bracelets and rings, you need new ones.”

You hand him the little bag to open, full of far too many of them, making him melt from such a cute gesture, you always do this when you two go shopping. “No, don’t buy things for me!”

“They’re all cheap, silly.”

“But you didn’t get yourself anything.” He peers in the bag, you apparently decided against that skirt that would look so sexy on you. You usually don’t get yourself anything do you? You shrug a shoulder, smiling a bit.

“I’m good, Cho. I didn’t see anything that I needed. Um… ooh Spencers though, is that our next adventure? Oh my God, remember the adult section the first time we snuck in?” You ask, whispering conspiratorially, he laughs then, as the text pops up, and he sees he needs to be there in two hours.

“Shit, so the meeting is in two hours though.” You blink a bit.

“With your… blond friend?”

“Amber, yeah.”

“Amber.” You murmur. “Oh then… I guess get me home so you can get ready.” You start heading away, and Choso grabs your arm then.

“No, we can hit at least one more store!”

“No, you need to get dressed, get there… I definitely don’t want to delay a big opportunity for something-” His phone goes off again, and it’s a selfie of Amber, sticking her tongue out and in a bustier that hides nothing, saying she can’t wait to see him, and he watches your face fall as your eyes hit the screen.

“I don’t know why she’s sending selfies, it really is for the band I-”

“No need to explain. It’s cool.” You walk further, and he senses it, you’re upset, and what do you do when upset?

Run from him.

Choso catches up with you, his hand grabbing yours, and you stare at it for a moment, before looking back up at him, emotion making your eyes glassy, breaking his heart then, his chest feels like something is squeezing it, his throat closing up. But what you say and how you look at him don’t match, they don’t compute, and he doesn’t know how you feel.

“Come with me then! I would love it if you were there, and we can still spend the day.” He offers, but you gently pull your little hand out of his grip, walking out of the doors now, heading toward where he parked.

“No, it’s important shit. And she’d like you to herself I am sure, sounds… awkward I don’t know, spending time with you and her.” Choso runs to open the passenger door before you can touch the handle. “Thanks, Cho.”

The ride is quiet, far too fucking quiet, and when he puts a hand on your thigh over the denim, you just stare out the window quietly. There’s music playing but all he can hear is his heart racing, worrying he’s messed something up again, worrying about you and your feelings, confused and feeling like he just doesn’t know what the fuck he’s really doing.

“Am I fucking up our friendship?” He asks, and you look at him then, hand coming on top of his, exhaling.

“No, never. I’m sorry, I’ve been a little in my head.” He nods, looking at the road, feeling your fingers brush his knuckles, he nears your home which is spo close by, he’s been here a million times, it’s like clockwork to go there.

“We can always talk, you know.” He says, you just nod a bit, putting on a fake smile, he knows it’s fake, because that genuine one you just had at the mall has now completely vanished.

“It’s just in my head I think, my… thoughts.” After some more quiet, you both pull up. He tilts his head, leaning close as you unsnap your seatbelt.

“I’m always here. I’ll make it up to you, we can go out tonight to grab a bite to eat you think?”

“I’m sure she’ll want to. Don’t worry.” Your face is tight, your voice quiet,

“But I want to spend time with you. I miss you.”

“Cho, we just spent time…”

“I miss you.” He says again, you falter, when he leans close, cupping your face in his big tattooed hand, thumb brushing on your jaw.

“You want a good luck blowjob huh.” You tease, but your words are serious, he can feel them.

“A good luck kiss, only if you want to.” He murmurs, eyeing your plump lower lip, glossy as you run your tongue across them.

“You wanna kiss me?” He wants to laugh at that, how the fuck do you think he doesn’t always want to kiss you? Not just during sex, during any moment. “Thought it was just when we want to fuck.”

“Well do you even want to kiss me?”

“Of course I do.” You rest your forehead against his, leaning close, your noses just barely touching. “I’m aching for you.”

“Then why the distance?” His eyes lock on yours, pulling back, trying to study your beautiful face for some clue.

“I just thought I was being too much, and how you left things…”

“I’m sorry, I was being an ass. Edging your perfect pussy that way.” You exhale, leaning further, as his hand slips up your thigh, gripping your ass, pulling you further towards him, you let out this sexy little cry. “Let me make it up to you tonight, please… I’ll make you feel so good.”

“If we kiss and don’t… aren’t we breaking a rule?” You ask, and he wonders at these idiotic rules, were they so he didn’t fall for you?

They were failing.

“A prelude to tonight then.”

“You can kiss Amber though.” He scowls now. “I don’t mean it in a bad way, I’d love to kiss you, I love your lips, that tongue ring.” Your little fingers drift across them. “But just being honest, especially after that picture, she’s pretty hot you know.”

Choso glares more, tilting your chin up to look at him, as the car softly hums and he’s pressing you against him as much as he can in his little car. “I asked if I could get a kiss from you. You. Not her.”

You lean up, brushing your lips against his gently, pulling back and then leaning in again, another sweet brush, that destroys him then, his mind turns to complete mush as he feels the sensation of your lips. He exhales, dragging you onto his lap before he can think better, hands cupping your face and kissing over and over, as you press against his lap.

“Fuck you taste so good.” He murmurs, sweet like some sort of cherries, you whine out now, straddling him in tight jeans, your heat pressing against his clothed cock, making his cock strain from just that.

“Cho…” You whimper now, rolling your hips, kissing him messier, more desperate now, tongue all sloppy as you play with his hair with teasing fingers. Choso’s hands find purchase against the nip at your waist, pressing into your ribcage and earning a little sigh of pleasure when he gently presses you down more. “Mnh.”

“Lemme get you off, please.” You shake your head, taking a breath and leaning back.

“It’s fine, I’m fine- ah!” Choso’s grinding you against him, tip of him pressing against your folds, watching your eyes roll back, hair falling like a curtain as your back arches, he slides up your shirt, revealing a black lacy bra over your perfect tits, he begins to lavish your nipples one by one.

“Pretty titties… perfect little angel.” He watches you melt, your hands enwrapping in his long hair he wore loose today, manicured nails barely pressing against his scalp, just like when he’d drunk your juices out of your pussy last week.

“Please.” Is all you manage to whisper, Choso eagerly grinds you more against him, your breath catching, hot sticky wetness gathering on your panties when his fingers slip under the waistband of your jeans, he groans as he feels you. “Please, Cho… need you.”

“I need you to cum for me.” He presses his thumb on your clit, feeling your damn and sticky underwear, your slick drooling, he watches as your eyes dilate, and you keep grinding on his hard cock, that’s desperate to slide inside you.

His phone rings as you’re kissing him again, and he goes to turn it off on his car screen, only for Amber’s voice to ring out in the car, making you halt. “Cho, did you get the address love?”

You freeze now, he watches everything shift as you do, you quickly hop off his lap, zipping yourself up with shaky hands. “Yes I have it, Amber I’m busy-”

“You’re not busy.” You whisper, and Choso’s mouth drops open when you rush out of the car, he gets out and follows you right to your porch, you turn and shake your head with a fake smile. “Go, Cho. Tell me how it goes.”

“Will you stop running!? All the time!” He grabs your shoulders, and you can still hear her voice from the car, looking at it and then back at him.

“You’re confusing me. You say one thing and do another.”

“What!? What do you even mean?”

“You’re clearly very close, love, getting damn near naked pics, calling you three times in a row, then calling again?”

Choso scowls now. “And you and Gojo?”

You snort, rolling your eyes. “I haven’t talked to him since you edged me last week, I thought you were mad, I thought you… wanted me… to…”

You’re tearing up now, breaking Choso into pieces as he watches you, so fragile. He tries to cup your face but you push him away, sniffling now. “Please, please don’t cry, just talk to me. I thought you were still talking to him?”

“No! Because I thought you were wanting to be more. But I’m a fucking idiot oh my god. I’m just some fun distraction.”

“What do you mean, I thought you wanted just friends? You-”

“And we will be just friends. I won’t do that again.” You swipe at your eyes, and Choso’s heart breaks as it beats even.

“You’re always confusing me-”

“No, no it’s you who is confusing this. Acting like you think I’m so beautiful, making me feel that way, special. You shouldn’t do that to casual fucks.”

“You are beautiful, so beautiful god why can’t you see this? You are special, more special than almost anyone in my life. I don’t know how you think you’re not. Fuck this let me push this off-”

“No. It’s important. Even if I’m upset I’d never put your music off.” You take a shaky breath, kissing his cheek. “Amber’s upset. Go, and good luck.”

“Please, angel-” You shut the door quickly, rushing in your home, Choso’s hand is pressed on the door, leaning his head on it. “Please, let me in, let me talk to you. You’re wrong, I swear you are.”

You say nothing, Choso tries to knock, feeling emotions catch in his throat, but you say nothing, he can faintly hear a cry from there, pushing him to feel even worse. You weren’t even talking to Gojo!? And here he was, he’s been texting and calling Amber this entire time, but you…

“Please. Just talk to me, or I won’t go.” You open the door, tears streaking your cheeks.

“You’re being petty.”

“Yeah, I am.” He swipes the emotion from his eyes.

“Go, I want you to, I’m f-fine. I just… I thought we… just go.” Choso steps in, cupping your face again, thumbs brushing the apples of your cheeks. “Don’t do that, don’t look like that at me. We are only friends.”

Choso scoffs now. “I want you to cum on my face, on my cock, I want you moaning and writhing under me.” He presses you against the doorway, feels your desire with your every breath, but you shake your head, pushing on him.

“It hurts too much. I thought I could, but I can’t separate it. It’s too much for me, the desire… the feelings.” Your voice is barely above a whisper.

Choso blinks in surprise. Could you possibly have some feelings for him!? Was it more than… “Feelings?”

“Cho, go. I’ll be fine.” You kiss his cheek now, how you used to, Choso gulps down the emotions.

“I can’t leave you like this.”

“I’m your friend. That’s it. We’ll do food and movies another day, yeah?” You gently push him out your door, smiling tremulously. “I think I’m PMSing, I don't know. I’m cool if you talk to her, fuck her whatever. Just tell me I guess.”

“Fuck her?”

“It’s cool, I swear. Go kill it, Cho bear.” You shut your door, he hears your lock click this time, your steps echoing.

He feels like a part of him is ripped in half in your absence, driving with no music, your sweet scent lingering in his car, your tears lingering in his mind. He had you in his lap, on his lips, isn't this what you both wanted, to have sex with no complications… but there are more and more complications every moment. And he left you there, to cry, sure you told him to leave, but this gnawing instinct makes him wish he had stayed.

Your POV

You see Cho and Amber on Instagram a couple hours later, with two huge Rockstars from popular bands that are running the show. You want to be so happy for him, and sure you are, but his hand on Amber's waist makes you ill, the way her hand is on his chest!? You can't stomach it.

You keep checking, wondering if Choso would message you. Call you. But the only messages are from Utahime and Satoru Gojo, who you've ignored ALL fucking week, waiting on Cho to make a move, only for him to have been clearly talking to this girl very regularly.

Sweet Cho Bear may be great as a friend and superb at fucking, but he seems to be the worst thing that could have happened to your mind. The way he so casually hurts you and puts you second is damn near debilitating, you’re tired of crying in your bed over him, when he was once the one who would comfort you, who would hold you while you cried over a boy.

Now Cho is that boy, and you're a whole idiot. You still can’t even process exactly what it is you’re feeling, was it just how good Choso made you feel? Is that all this was, a confusion from lack of experience, and his stupidly good skills? Or is it the moment you kiss him, and want nothing more than to lose yourself in him, when you feel his heartbeat against you…

When you call Utahime back on Facetime, she gasps when she sees you in tears. “Was it Gojo? Imma kill him.”

“No, no… it’s Cho.”

“Choso, what’d that sweet boy do!?”

“Ugh.” You take a breath, setting Utahime down on your dresser, deciding to start putting on makeup to hide your tired eyes and tear streaked face. “He’s got this girl, Amber, I saw them kiss.”

“Shit… but you all are friends with benefits not…”

“Yeah, I know. But ‘Hime, I felt so special, the way he looks at me.” You’re sniffling, and then you peek at Amber’s IG, poking around, jaw setting when on her Instagram she’s kissing Choso’s cheek. “Look at this.”

You send it to her, Utahime’s eyes narrow. “Okay no, that’s… I thought he didn’t wanna date? Wasn’t that the point?”

“Right, nothing serious. But she called him four times in one outing, fuck she came through the car bluetooth and cockblocked me.”

“Shit. Babe maybe no more sex, before you ruin your friendship, I’d hate you two not being friends.”

“I know, I know. I told him no more, I don’t think he got it though, he seems to say one thing and do another, and I’m just tired. And as for Gojo, I blew him off all week because I misread what Choso meant.”

“Well it’s still fuck Gojo till it’s backwards- and I don’t mean actually fuck him.” You snort.

“You just hate him.”

“Sure do.”

“But I’m feeling petty, and horny. And mad as fuck. Am I immature?” Utahime sighs.

“You and Choso both are naive little babies I think. Have you tried telling him how you feel?”

“He doesn’t feel that way, clearly. Look.” You send another pic now, one that Choso and Amber are tagged in, with the group of people preparing press for the show, Choso looks so fucking good, despite the girl clinging to him.

“Ah. Babe if you fuck Gojo I’ll come smack you I know this hurts but…”

“I’m not gonna fuck him, ‘Hime. Just maybe hang out and take an Insta pic and post it.” She smirks as you do.

“You petty ass bitch.”

“Bitch!”

“Fine. You have my blessing to be petty, but no dick.”

“Yes mommy.” You feel so much better, sighing. “Come see me when you get in tomorrow, please!”

“I will. Love you.” You disconnect the phone, peering at it to see if Choso has said any fucking thing to you, but you imagine he’s busy. He posts about the event, tagging Yuji and Megumi.

Nice to know the support you’ve always given him isn’t shit compared to a new pretty fan with connections. You yank off his band shirt, throwing it across the room, when Satoru’s text comes in.

Jock Gojo- you can’t stay angry at me I’m too pretty.

You find yourself giggling, rolling your eyes.

You- I’m not even angry, just had a lot on my mind.

Jock Gojo- Let me fuck your brains out then?

You- Nvm fuck you actually.

Jock Gojo- You’re punishing me :’( for being a dick on prom.

You snap off your bra, giggling a bit when he calls.

“What’s up?” You ask, popping him on speaker.

“Thinking about this mean girl, she was a nerd goodie goodie. She has a really nice ass…”

“Stop it!” You burst out laughing, slipping off your jeans now.

“Whatchya wearing?”

“Just panties right now.” You hear him exhale.

“You’re trying to kill me.” The flattery is getting you, especially feeling so damn inadequate with Choso right now.

“I am sorry I blew you off, it wasn’t you though. Do you wanna… I don’t know, catch up?” You’re digging through your closet now, tilting your head as you peer at the bevy of dresses you’ve bought for when you were with Ino.

“I’d love that. Are you free tonight? We can grab something to eat, see a movie… I dunno whatever you want. You can suck my dick in the theater!?” You snort again at him, rolling your eyes.

“You’re ridiculous, Satoru. But… yeah I’m down to go out. A movie doesn’t sound bad at all.” That’s what you and Choso were supposed to do, see the new Star Wars movie that’s out.

“It’s a date then. Wear something easy-access.”

“Oh whatever, you’re so dumb.” He laughs softly, the sound is always pleasing, Satoru’s voice is pleasing altogether with its deep timbre. “What time?”

“Well what movies are out?”

“Star Wars!”

“Nerdy ass. Fine.” You giggle now.

“I was supposed to go with Cho but he’s… got this girl and also a whole gig going for the band. We can see something else though?”

“I don’t mind. Alright I’ll pick you up in an hour?”

“Sure.” You both hang up, you keep looking through your wardrobe until you come upon a cute plaid skirt, similar to what Choso wanted you to buy, but this hit mid thigh versus exposing all of your ass.

The thoughts make your cheeks heat up, then your tummy clench, how he’d just been kissing you, touching you. For him, you suppose, he truly could be a friend with benefits, but you fail at it completely, and though you certainly don’t plan on fucking Gojo, you’re curious at things.

Could you feel good with someone else?

“Hey sweets… I need all this candy.” You and Satoru are checking into the movie, his hand resting at your waist.

“They overprice the candy!”

“I’m rich, I don’t care.” Satoru buys a copious amount of candy and then two giant slushies, amusing the fuck out of you.

“Is one for me?” You ask teasingly.

“No way.” He hands you a slushie and you have to admit you feel a little giddy and excited, which is lovely after feeling so down earlier. Satoru is basically a big damn kid and his energy is infectious. You’re shoving thoughts of Choso way down when Satoru nudges you as you all walk toward the theater.

You take a sip of your slushie, looking at him curiously. “What?”

“Your friend, yeah?” You blink and see him then, holding hands with her, in line to check in for a movie at the opposite side of the theater.

So…

Choso blew you off, didn’t see a movie with you and is instead with Amber, and isn’t even seeing Star Wars!??!

“Hey buddy!”

“Satoru no…” You hiss but he’s waving with a box of candy. Choso looks at him curiously, then at you, his jaw tensing, Amber bounces over, looking at Satoru and then you with a pretty grin.

“Oh damn, I guess I don’t have to worry about you, dating this hottie.” She clings to Choso and winks at Satoru, you feel sick to your fucking stomach, the one gulp of that drink you took making you want to now vomit.

“We’re not dating yet, she’s mean to me. And she’s a nerd and was dying to see Star Wars. You now pew pew pew.” Satoru starts acting like his candy is a lightsaber, you’d be laughing if you didn’t wanna punch your own friend in the face.

“Can we talk for a minute?” Choso asks, and you shrug, stepping aside and touching Satoru on the shoulder gently, earning Choso’s anger directed right at you.

“Be back?”

“Sure thing.” Satoru says.

Choso and you step aside just a bit, laugh without humor. “You’re not even seeing it? Even if you didn’t wanna go with me, you are seriously missing it altogether?” You ask quietly, and Choso shakes his head quickly, glaring over at Gojo.

“You said you didn’t want to go out tonight, remember? I wanted to go with you after.” His words are soft, as Satoru and Amber start giggling about something.

“Because it’d apparently be me as a third wheel. Damn.” You scoff, and Choso steps up to you closer, his violet eyes glossy with worry.

“I thought you were done with-”

“Yeah the Instagram pictures made me realize maybe I need to move on from whatever the fuck this is.” You hiss the words quietly, Choso steps back, hurt clear on his face.

“I wrote you.”

“You didn’t-”

“I did!”

You pull out your phone, seeing his several texts now, but you were so mad you put him on mute. You gulp, scrolling through as he repeatedly asks you out to eat, as he asks if you’re home, as he asks if you’re upset with him. You see sad emojis and heart emojis and ‘angel’ please messages, making you feel a pit in your stomach, but where had these been all day?

“Ah, well I didn’t see, but whatever. Have fun.” You turn to step away, and Choso gently touches your hand.

“You’re mad when you’re here with him?” He asks, and it’s your turn to narrow your eyes at him.

“I blew him off a week for some dumb idea that maybe you wanted to date.” You whisper, and he blinks, opening his mouth, but you hold up your hand. “This was a huge mistake, though you’re a great friend, I can’t just fuck you, I felt too much.”

“You think I don’t feel things for you? You think you aren’t in my mind?” He leans low, and you step back to breathe.

“If we want to stay friends we can never do it again.” Choso’s eyes get wide, you watch his lip tremble just slightly.

“Do you not want me anymore?” He asks, and you shake your head, disbelieving he can’t notice what he does to you when he’s touching you.

“I wanted you too much. I was stupid, not you, you’re great at it, at sex… at being unaffected, nonchalant. At doing your thing. I am the one that couldn’t do it. So we should forget it all, every bit.” You hate the words spilling from your lips, but you know they’re necessary.

“Forget it?” You nod now, trembling as you stand there, your heart pounding out of your damn chest. “How can I forget you in that way, your taste, your lips on mine… your body? How your back arches as I’m making you cum?”

His words make your mind flit with images, you shake your head, shutting your eyes and pushing them away as much as you can. God just with words he fucked you up. “You’d had to forget it when you and Amber fuck anyway, so work on it.” Choso gasps softly, his handsome face falling.

“So it meant nothing.” Choso’s words are broken, but it’s just not fair to say it like that, it’s not fair to do this to your heart, you know him and have known him, so you know it’s not intentional. But it doesn’t make it hurt less.

“It meant too much.” You step away then, putting on a little smile, walking back to Gojo and putting your arm in his as you look at Amber, who’s clinging to Choso when he walks back up. “I hope you guys have fun, can’t wait for the concert.”

“You should bring him!” She pokes at Gojo with a giggle.

“I think I will.” Choso glares at you, the look of fucking death, and you get some small satisfaction that you shouldn’t.

You’re done being dickmatized by your best friend, you’re done falling for him so fast and so hard, you’re done with all the feelings that have been driving you since Senior year of high school pooling at once. When he’d let you know so casually he was in love with Yuki, and if he’d wanted you all this time, why did he never make a move?

“Sounds good man I love to see ya play.” Satoru is so unbothered, you wish you could have a teeny bit of that yourself.

“Appreciate it. Have fun, angel.” He says to you now, right in front of both of them in a soft tone, you catch his eyes and feel every emotion, you feel the weight of such simple words, like he’s claiming you his, like he’s telling you so much more without saying it truly.

“Have fun Cho bear.” You say with a bright smile, so fake, and you can tell he knows it’s fake by his frown, but Amber is tugging him away.

“So… he was the fuck buddy.”

“Satoru!” You smack at him, he just smirks, shaking his head.

“It’s obvious.”

You sigh, handing the usher your tickets as you and Choso walk your separate ways, as you always have you suppose, it was foolish to think so much would change from a couple of experiences. He was so in love with Yuki he was about to buy her a fucking ring, of course he was upset that night, and it had been you who brought it up, not him.

You caused this.

“I’m sorry maybe I should’ve told you?”

“Nah, we’re on date number two, and I told you I have regulars. Not that I’ve been with them all week.” You raise your brows in surprise, Satoru pops down in the theater, with big recliner seats, you both settle in and ease back.

“Oh? Actually, me either.” Satoru slurps on his drink, sticking out his tongue now and making you laugh softly as the lights dim.

“Blue! Like my balls after our date.”

“Oh god.” You shake your head, and you picture it, Choso next to you so fucking excited, the both of you have seen every single Star Wars movie absolutely ever, this was the first he’s missing.

You can’t even be mad at him, Amber is pretty, clingy and not in a friend zone like you. If you both were meant to be, wouldn’t you have by now? But your mind drifts to him, missing him though you’ve seen him all day, but it’s Satoru Gojo sitting next to you, annoyingly whispering every time a character pops up, asking who the hell any of them are.

But it’s not annoying then, it’s nice. You could be alone, and not with a handsome, tall white haired little shit, your first kiss. Satoru could have been your first everything, but of course you weren’t ready back then. He has a big hand on your bare thigh, thumb brushing against your skin in little circles, as he’s popping candy into his mouth, making you wonder at his metabolism.

“Who’s that!? Is that yoda?” You giggle quietly, leaning on him.

“Grogu. It’s like a baby yoda.”

“It’s cute! I want one.” You nod in agreement.

“So cute, right? He’s actually old though.”

“Explain, I’m so interested.” His fingers slide higher, making you tremble now, you take several breaths, as they dance against your skin, leaving goosebumps everywhere he touches.

“Are you now?” You find yourself leaning against him, kissing a little trail up his cheek and ear, his fingertips press into the plush of your thigh as you do, that little shitty guilty feeling gnawing at even that.

And why?

You and Choso were friends and you yourself had said ‘no attachments, no emotions, no drama’ and couldn’t make it past three times fucking him (and two ridiculous times of him eating you out… fuck it makes you clench thinking of it) and you caught feelings. It’s pathetic that it happened so fast for you, but how could someone not fall for Choso Kamo? He certainly doesn’t even comprehend the effects he has on people.

“Mmm…” Satoru’s little breathy cry does something to you, as do his fingers brushing higher when you nip on his earlobe, before turning your eyes back to the movie and holding his hand. “Fuck.”

He leans to you now, kissing a trail up your neck, you all are not surrounded by anyone at all where you are and hidden mostly in the recliners, you let your eyes flutter shut when he kisses your neck, when his tongue laps out at your skin, and he’s slipping the hand up further. You’ve been edged twice this week, you can’t help but shift your hips closer.

Satoru kisses you lazy and sensually, biting your lower lip between his teeth, then lapping his tongue along it, cupping your face, you’re enjoying his kisses, the butterflies he stirs even after years. Satoru may have been an asshole back in high school, but he was a hell of a distraction right now, especially when he’s rubbing you over lacy panties.

“You’re gonna distract me from… the…” You’re trying to keep in your little cry, biting your lip when he presses on your clothed clit, finding you damp and sticky, he exhales against your ear now.

“You’re so wet, though. Need me to take care of you?” He asks, you tense then just a bit, but your body reacts, getting wetter and wetter with his practiced circles, he slips his fingers under them now, finding your bare pussy.

“Not saying so.” He laughs, kissing you again, you cry out ever so softly into his lips, hips rolling as his finger teases your entrance.

“She says so.” You lose yourself for a moment, before getting a bit of a clear head, realizing where you all are, he slips a finger inside your slick walls, you clench around the invasion of it, long and sinking deep. “Fuck you’re tight.”

“We shouldn’t here, though.” He pouts in the dark theater.

“You’re mean to her.” He sucks on his finger now, and the sight of Satoru’s pouty lips licking your arousal fucks you up, your brain short circuits for a minute. “You’re as sweet as these candies, fuck.”

“You do go on.” You kiss yourself off him now, before shifting your skirt down a bit, blushing in the darkness. “Okay I need a sec.”

“Gotta play with your pussy?”

“Shush!” You sneak past him, he’s grinning all handsome, and for a moment you think, fuck this is nice, and maybe you could forget this feeling for Choso.

Until you walk by him heading out of the bathroom.

You turn away, and he’s calling your name softly. “What?”

“Can we talk tonight, please?” He asks, standing just a little away from you, the theater is empty as everyone is nestled inside each show, just a person or two walking across.

“What’s there to talk about?” His dark brows lower.

“You really don’t ever want to again? To feel that again?” He cups your chin in his hand, tilting your gaze up to him, to your sweet best friend that currently makes your mind haywire.

“Of course I do. But it means more to me than it does to you.”

“How do you even know that? Have you asked me?”

“I can clearly see, each time we do something you have no problem being with another girl.”

“We haven’t-”

“It doesn’t matter. We won’t again, go enjoy your movie Cho bear.”

“I hurt you.” His words make you pause, you shake your head quickly. “I have hurt you, I can tell it. Written all over your beautiful fucking face.”

“Don’t say shit like that. I’m trying to get over you.” He blinks in confusion, you turn away and he follows you in the damn bathroom. “Choso, seriously, leave me the fuck alone.”

“Get over me? Get over what, being my friend?” You lean against the sink, looking at him exasperatedly.

“I’m still your friend. I always will be. It was a mistake, everything.” You hate that the tears are back.

“How was that a fucking mistake? Feeling you cum around my cock like that, drinking you up?” You whine pathetically when his hands are cupping your face, and he’s bent so low. “No way it’s normal to feel that.”

“So what, you’re saying I’m good in bed? Thanks Cho, so are you, but we can’t do it. I can’t hurt like this. Now go.”

“So you can be with Gojo?” You shove him then, you shove sweet ass Choso Kamo, your best friend, and he looks at you, shocked.

“So you can be with Amber. Funny, I couldn’t in years do shit like she could for your band. Good pick.” Choso steps back up, his hands now on your waist, big strong hands that you wonder at, how much could he throw you around if he tried, if he’d have more chances.

Hands that simultaneously drive you with need and drive you to insanity, god you wish you never knew how good it was. “I want you.”

“What, now that you see me with someone? All week you haven’t said or done shit. I’m not a game.”

“I’m not playing a game.”

“You may not know it, but you are. And my mind is the fucking victim.” Choso slams his lips on yours now, not the sweet way he kisses, no it’s brutal, it’s so different, you cry out, clinging to him, before pulling back and gasping. “I said no more of this.”

“Say it, that you don’t want me to. That you don’t feel this.” You’re shaking now, as his hand comes over yours, your eyes shut with the overwhelming sensations he’s fucking you up with, the way his big hand entwines with yours, and now your lips are tingling from him.

“It hurts too much to see you with her.”

“What do you think it’s like for me?”

“It’ll ruin us if we do it again.” Choso rests his forehead on yours. “I wanted you to choose me, just once.”

“What!?” You step away then, finally able to breathe, rushing out. “You told me to go, I wrote you-”

“Just because I said to, doesn’t mean I meant it.” You watch the hurt and confusion, making you feel like shit. “I fucked up asking you to do this. Blame me, it wasn’t your desires or ideas. Please, have fun, and forget any of this.” You put a hand on his shoulder, hating when a tear falls.

But you can’t let him keep hurting you like this, building your hopes up just to shatter them the fuck down, even if he’s so sweet he doesn’t know, or doesn’t mean to do it. You have to pull back, even as he’s trying to pull you close, and you watch him bite his lower lip.

“Let’s both leave right now.” He says huskily, you shake your head.

“It’s a terrible idea. I’ll fall more.”

“Fall? You’re…”

“Forget it, please. I don’t want to lose you in my life, but if we go any further, I won’t be able to pull back.”

“What if I don’t want you to?” You inhale and exhale, before turning away and walking back into the theater, trying to forget the hurt look on his face.

It’s not much longer that you certainly forget that sad look on his face, when you’re walking out into the chilly night and Satoru throws an expensive jacket over your shoulders. When you see Choso in his car with his head tilted back, and you worry, is he devastated, have you made a terrible decision? What if he truly did feel things for you-

Then you see Amber pop her head up, giggling.

Oh.

She kisses Choso, he is presumably kissing his fucking cum off her lips, you feel your heart beat erratically, walking past with Satoru then, of course you have the shit luck that they parked right across from you all. Satoru comes to open the door when Choso’s eyes lock on yours, and his panicked face says everything you needed to know.

He never loved you, he never even cared, if so how could he so casually profess one thing while doing the absolute opposite? He rushes out of the car, and Satoru’s pretty blue eyes narrow a bit when he’s standing right in front of you, and you look down to see his pants unbuttoned just a bit.

You told him just friends, it appears he’s taken it seriously.

Were you some stepping stone for Choso’s hoe era?

“Your button.” You say softly, he hastily buttons it, and Satoru snorts now.

“Nice man, car blow job?”

“Can you shut the fuck up.” You glare, and Satoru’s chuckling, completely unbothered, Choso’s hands are clenching into fists.

“Gonna be mean to him? For what?”

“He left you at prom-”

“We were seventeen. It’s in the damn past. Your girl is pouting by the way, pay her some attention.” You say now, slipping into the car.

“I need to explain things to you.” He murmurs, leaning close, and you just sigh, shaking your head. “It’s not what you think, and you said just friends.”

“Yep. Just friends. Bye now, Cho bear.” You shut your door, Satoru puts an arm around you as he revs up the car, and you lean in, kissing him deeply.

“Mmm, I like petty you.” He teases, you snort, burying your face in his neck. “Can I get a car blow job too?”

“Oh drive, Gojo, jesus.” He’s laughing, pulling you against him as you all leave the parking lot, you could swear you feel his eyes on you, but you really are past fucking caring.

Maybe dick is really what you need to get over him?

Choso’s POV (A few minutes earlier)

“No, you shouldn’t…” Choso’s struggling to pull Amber off him, her mouth is latched on his neck, hand stroking his cock, visions of you flitting in his mind, of you telling him you don’t even want to be intimate again. That you made a mistake of being with him.

It makes him feel horrible, did he take advantage of you in some way!? He’s so clueless of these things, he’d tried to text you over and over before he agreed to go to this movie, and then when he saw you with Satoru!? Fuck it hurt, but he’s pushed you there, you were upset and he shouldn’t have left.

You say one thing and mean another, how can he read you, how can he understand you? How can he just go back to friendship, fuck you all were so dumb for this, completely underestimating what would be there. He kissed Amber once, and it was nothing like kissing you, her body against his and lips now are just no comparison, when he had your sweet lips.

Your moans.

Your breaths.

The way you…

Fuck now he’s thinking of your body, gorgeous, your smooth skin, every curve and line he wants to devour, all while Amber is stroking his cock. He knows you’re probably going to be with Gojo, have you already done things? He sees visions of Gojo fucking you, on your hands and knees maybe, your ass arched in the air, with his experience is he so much better?

Will you cum for him like you do Choso, will he get to drink up those juices from your perfect plump little pussy? Will he have you fingers gripping his hair, those blunt nails pressing against his scalp, your slick heat enwrapping him? Amber giggles since now Choso is completely hard, even though he’s upset, the thought of you like that makes him go insane with need.

To claim you, to make you his. But you want nothing to do with him, he’s fucked it all up somehow, and he truly doesn’t know how to make it right, how to say the words out loud that are eating him alive. How to say how much he’s falling for you, how amazing you are, how he dreams of you…

“Lemme take care of you, Choso.” Amber cooes, and Choso feels terrible, guilty as fuck, but why? You two aren’t together, now he doesn’t even get to kiss your perfect lips again. You don’t want to anymore, because of him.

You weren’t together, just friends you both said.

But you’re not just his friend.

Before he knows it, so lost in thought, Amber is undoing his pants, he pulls her hair now, earning her moan. “No, no! No, shit… sorry for pulling your hair, but… y-you can’t. Shouldn’t- mmm!”

Choso whines out and gasps when she takes his length in her mouth, swirling her tongue and humming. “Mmm, you’re fucking huge.”

“Please don’t do that, get up-ah.” She sucks so hard, he bucks up, his hand accidentally shoving her further by some stupid instinct, she’s bobbing up and down him, clearly an insane level of experience. Sucking him up like a vacuum, swallowing his cock whole down her throat, her long nails digging into his jeans, pressing against his thighs.

He leans his head back, he’s been as edged as you this week, and it does feel good, if you ignore the sinking in his stomach, when his eyes come to focus, and you’re by the car right across from him, Gojo’s jacket on your shoulder. You look right at him for a moment, and he panics, as Amber giggles, leaning up now.

“You’re the biggest guy I’ve sucked, fuck you’ll feel good in me.” Choso immediately zips up his pants, running out of the car, and when he sees you, he knows then.

Shoulders slumped down.

Eyes glossy and glittering.

Lips set in such a tense line.

He knows it, then, you won’t forgive this, in his desperation to explain, you have no care to hear, you’re so withdrawn he doesn’t even know if you’ll be his friend, and how could he blame you? Begging you to be with him, only for you to see something like that, and now you’re kissing Satoru right in front of him, knocking the wind out of his body.

He almost collapses as you drive away, numb and mindlessly going through the motions, you must think he is a liar, you must think you were right, he’d hurt you, truly hurt you. You’ve been his rock for so long, so important to him, so important to even his little brother, like family for so long, now he’s going to lose you, and now he know everything he’s losing.

Choso: Please, please it’s not what you think. Angel…

Read.

Choso: I’m so sorry, I never meant to hurt you, it wasn’t what you think, and… I think of you. I think of you constantly, always.

Nothing.

Choso: Cuss me out, do something, say something. Please, I understand if you hate me forever, but this wasn’t intentional, and I’m confused, I don’t know what we are, I don’t know what to do.

Read, and nothing.

You read each single one and say nothing in response, Choso drops Amber off with a faint good bye, he doesn’t kiss her, he barely talks to her, she’s babbling away but his heart is being ripped from his chest. If you hadn’t already done things with Gojo, surely you would now, and what if he is so much better than Choso could be?

Rich, always so fucking popular, the head of the football team, good with ladies, fuck you fawned over him, when he had it so bad for you. You would doodle Satoru Gojo and you in wedding clothes as he’d sit at study sessions, and the fear of him pushed Choso even further to lose his mind and thoughts with Amber, but now even he doesn’t know if he can forgive himself.

Not for hurting you like this.

Choso: Please, I’ll do anything, just talk to me. Just… still be my best friend, even if I want you as so much more, I’ll take it, I’ll take just that again over none of you… please.

You don’t read it, your green dot is off line, seven minutes ago.

Choso sobs into his hands, sitting on his couch, thinking of the hurt on your pretty face when you saw it, fuck did you feel unwanted? When all he wants is you, but how could you know now? How could you know that he does, when you saw that.

Did you really feel like this ‘distraction’ or a game to him? You’re more than that, so much more. As he curls into a ball and sobs, he hates himself then, why can’t he know better, do better, why can’t he just know what’s right? You should hate him after this.

He’s losing you, and he never even really had you, not in the way he wants, he craves, he needs in his soul. After a long time, he falls asleep with streaks of tears drying on his cheeks, eyes heavy and reddened and sore. He is dreaming of you, snuggling next to him, heat on his leg, your smile so sleepy and cute. Your hair is a mess, and you’re in his tee shirt.

How can he lose you like this?

Your POV

“F-Fuck, Satoru!” You’re crying out as he’s pumping two stupidly long fingers deep in your pussy, and Satour’s moaning into your mouth, you’re literally on your front porch in the middle of the evening as he’s pressing you against your door, scissoring his fingers in and out. You’re clinging to him, he’s doing it so well your mind is shut, your eyes rolled back.

“Hear her, fuck… slutty pussy.” He huffs, grabbing you rough, he’s not delicate or careful like Cho, his grip on your thigh is bruising, your hands glide down his abdomen then, finding his cock over his pants, your phone is incessantly buzzing in your purse, you know it’s Choso, but you don’t really care right now.

“Please…” You whisper out.

“Please what, pretty little slut?” He murmurs, you should be offended but you’re not, you want more of it, to feel mindless, numb, good.

“Make me cum.” You’re hastily unlocking your door now, Satoru’s hands both press against your waist as you shut the door, and he has you picked up, effortlessly, your legs wrap around his hips as you all kiss, over and over.

“Bed?” He asks, you nod barely, pointing and he’s carrying you right to it, laying you down, somewhere Choso really has never been.

Fuck can’t you get him out of your head!?

You reach down between you both, stroking Satoru’s length, he’s long and curved, your thumb brushes on precum, earning his pink lips parted, a red flush on his porcelain skin. “I was missing all this?” He asks softly now, shoving up your shirt and revealing your tits that squish in his grip.

“Y-you were a dick.” You mumble, he chuckles, sucking on your nipple now, sliding panties down your thighs and rolling on your clit with his thumb until you’re dripping down his fingers.

“I still am a dick, baby, you’re just horny and mad.” He taunts, he’s somehow infuriatingly perceptive for an idiot.

“Just shut up, Satoru you talk too- ah!” Satoru’s got you flipped now, fucking obscene, dragging your pussy on his face, still in his fancy ass dress shirt, you’re still in a skirt and a top yanked down, his cock sprung in your face. “I haven’t…”

“No sixty nine?” He smacks your ass, and you tremble, bracing yourself on your arms as he drags his tongue between your folds. “Such a goodie goodie.”

“Fuck you, Satoru.” He laughs, breath tickling, so you suck him down your throat, he tastes good, his tongue is godly, but you just don’t feel that thing. You don’t feel whatever the fuck it was, and this proves it.

You shove it back as he shoves his cock in your mouth, swirling his tongue around your clit and then shoving his two fingers in your cunt again, playing with you over and over, pumping in and out, you’re clenching them like a vise as he sucks your little clit in his mouth. You grind on him weakly, crying out around his length, hair falling against his thighs.

He has his pants and boxers still half way on, your hands cling to them as he’s relentless with his tongue, sucking all of your juices up as his fingers fuck your gummy little walls. He’s hitting every spot you have, grinning against you whenl you’re cumming on Satoru Gojo’s face.

He’s moaning as he smacks your ass, still fingering you. “There, fuck… if you keep… I’m…” Satoru cums then with a groan, pulsing deep in your throat, you swallow the salty and slightly bitter taste down, his hum on your clit making you cum as you do, shaking when you cum again and finally pull up, shutting your eyes.

What have you done? Just what Amber was doing to Choso, and out of what, jealousy, need? Are you any better?

Satoru exhales, tapping your hip, and you ease off him, nervously looking away. “I’m sorry I came quick, your throat…”

“No, no! It’s good. I came clearly.” He exhales, planting a kiss on your lips, his glittery eyes dilated. “That was…”

“Fucking awesome, sweets. If you give me a bit, we can actually fuck.” He teases, dragging you on his lap now, you giggle then, breathless.

“Not just yet, this was a lot more than I expected already. We don’t even date or whatever.”

“You worry too much. If it feels good just do it.” You contemplate his words, more seriously than he intended. “All right, I’m out then sweets.”

“No pussy you’re out?” You raise a brow, he grins.

“I have your pussy all over my face, so shut it.” He smacks your ass once more, hopping up and getting dressed, you start to realize what happened, it’s slowly sinking in more and more, when you walk him to the door and he winks.

“Try not to look so pleased, Satoru.” You say, he grins bigger, snatching up his coat and throwing it on his shoulders.

“Got you off enough, I should be pleased. Don’t ignore me for a week again, it makes me sad you know.” He pouts, you can’t help but sigh, he’s gorgeous, he’s talented and fuck that was good.

But…

It feels so impersonal?

“Am I like a booty call now?” You ask, trying to hide your anxiousness with him, he shrugs a shoulder.

“I don’t take them on dates, I have standards. But I don’t label, so chill.” He pats your head now, winking. “I’m like your revenge fuck.”

“Oh god.” You roll your eyes.

“Nighty night. Text me.”

“Good night Satoru.” Satoru literally hops and prances to the damn car, but you feel it, the emotions choking you already, where Choso had snuggled and kissed, or he had tried to- you’d stopped it- Satoru’s prancing to his door and zipping away, clearly he got some of what he wanted from you.

Is this who you are now?

You take a shower, resting your head on the wall, shutting your eyes as you see it, over and over, Choso and Amber in that car. But you told him you were done, you told him there was no sex anymore, so what was wrong with what either of you did? What was this feeling like hot fire pokers in your throat, this clutching and pulling at your heart?

Tearing you in two.

If you were just horny and edged, Satoru should have scratched every fucking itch you ever had, he’s perhaps more skilled than Choso at a woman’s body, you’re sure fucking him would be fun, and there’s just no feelings. He would have been a perfect friend with benefit, not Choso Kamo, the man that you look into his eyes and he sees you, truly sees you.

The man you want in bed with you, every night, you remember all those nights sleeping next to him on the couch, hearing his gentle breathing or little snores. And now you think you can’t even be his friend, it hurts too much, and you think it’s pushed you here to do this, something you would never, but the rejection from Ino stung and now Choso?

Drying up you see the twenty messages from him, each one hurting more and more as you read through them all, especially the last one, which is like a knife to your fucking heart.

Cho Bear: Please, I’ll do anything, just talk to me. Just… still be my best friend, even if I want you to be so much more, I’ll take it, I’ll take just that again over none of you… please.

That was an hour ago.

You can’t talk to him now, you can’t look at him now, after what you just did, the tears start falling from your face, it felt so empty and hollow, pure pleasure without those feelings. Without feeling like the most beautiful, important girl in the fucking world, without Choso’s sweet and sincere words. The way he’d held your face and just looked at you.

It was never just getting off with Choso, the moment he kissed you, you irrevocably fell for him, and now you feel nothing but despair.

How does doing something not ‘wrong’ feel this wrong.

You put the phone down, you can’t face him, you can’t call him, you’re still so upset with him and now with yourself. You find yourself curled in a ball on your bed, a bed Satoru Gojo had just been in, fuck it happened so fast too, and now you know it even more so.

You’re in love with Choso.

What have you done?

What has he done?What have you both done?

A/N- Yep. It's a mess, I am sure ya'll are as upset and mad as I am writing these two fking idiots, but it's a slow burn despite their immediate physical connection. I always enjoy your thoughts, how was this angst omg! This actually made me upset but remember I write happy endings <3

Taglist: @erencvlt @antisocialinlw @aquamarine001 @maskedpacific @mima0127 @yxnnu @lana18918 @bigbird789 @angellliqua @ghostskilledmyaddiction21 @aldebrana @staygoldsquatchling02 @bts-psycho @lillycore @mysticalnightbeliever @wystriz @tokyolhtl @imabyssa @delicate-ray-of-sunshine @ivyvenus333 @ghostskilledmyaddiction21 @sparklydeerface @10honeybee01 @marie-is-in-the-dark @lavender-hvze @angelcakkess @bellasworlds-stuff @pauliiis-stuff @mysouleaten @city-of-lovers @teddiiursula @flowerbbybananamilk

(tagging the rest in commentsss)

Chap Five

#choso jjk #choso x reader #choso kamo #jjk choso #choso smut #jujutsu kaisen choso #kamo choso #choso kamo x you #choso x y/n #choso x you #jjk x reader #jujustu kaisen #choso kamo x reader #jjk angst #choso angst #gojo smut #satoru gojo #jjk smut

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strawberryvanillafrosting · 1 year ago

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success life story ♡

heyy i'm here to share about my success story, the beginning is only before i started manifesting and about when i just started, all my success are on the very end of the blog, so feel free to skip directly at it if you're not interest by all the rambling !

have a good read ☆

michiko is so pretty, i've literally been told so many times i looked liker <3

the old story that i don’t live in anymore

okay so before i didn’t hate my life, at all, but i just found very dull and so poor of entertaining like it was just too fucking regular and repetitive.also a bit depressing. i thought of myself of such an unlucky girl before and i was like affirming all the fucking time that i was unlucky and guess what? everything really used to go the way i didn’t want it to go every single damn time and i’d be like i knew it im so unlucky boo-hoo.

same for the money i would just go every single fucking day rambling to my friends how poor i was and how i wanted money so bad and the same story every single fucking for days, weeks, months.

i really wanted a new appartement and my own room cause i used to share same room as my sister and it really was getting on my nerves, i had no privacy and place for myself. the apartment was small, my mum always kept complaining about it and then she would argue about my dad about it but the reason why we couldn’t move out despite trying for several months was cause my dad had whole lotta debts and my mom had a really low paying and hard job she was exhausted and, it was quiet hard to see them being this unhappy and they still tried their hardest to make us happy so i really wanted to get back at them.

about social life i had very few friends and barely went out, i'd say probably one time a month. and i really wanted to get that life of the party, and those big ass friends group and also i was crazy desperate about having black friends cause i am black and literally the only black out here without none of black friends and i felt pretty left out like wtf am i the only black girl with no black friends cause all of them (that's so dumb tho.. ) were friends and gets invited to the most fun hangouts and i was embarrassingly jealous of that and also complained a lot about it…and kept asking tf was wrong with me.

STRONGLY on this one : i wanted a relationship so bad and i kept hating and being sad to those couple on tiktok’s. one time i actually cried cuz i wanted a boys’s love so bad like i was craving it so bad. i was in such despair state before..cringy ahh ☠️

i used to be rlly insecure about my looks too even tho at some moments i felt more confident, i kept comparing myself and waisting dozens of minutes enumerating my "flaws ". i knew about manifestation but not really about law of assumption , for me manifesting was really all about listening to subliminals, method and scripting. we all once knew that phase yeah? i used to manifest from time to time but then would just give up again,since i was not seeing results and so on. so useful wow.and then there’s the others things like mediocre grades, poor family health, just constant tiredness and fatigue feeling,

tw : mention of being depressed,sh,ed, : felt empty like life had absolutely no meaning, suicidal thoughts, tried to end by over-consumption of medication, self-harm and bulimia, constant complaining and NEGATIVE ONLY mindset.

but now, NOW i tell you ever single thing i’ve just listed changed completely like every single damn thing i’ve just listed is no more, it’s out of the date, dead, buried and no longer existing !

it clicked

then at some point at my life i was just like. yk what? fuck i just wanna change it all. then i really like really got into it all over again and for good. no more 1 week i try then giving up cause i ain’t seeing no « results ».

i watched hours and hours of ppl talking about loa (i’m not saying you should do this at all it’s just that i was very under-informed and wanted to know everything about loa)on youtube, shoutout to rita kaminski and hyler who really put me into it and informed me. then i started reading neville’s pdf books, and tumblr blogs, kinda overconsuming but i liked getting myself informed.

and then that’s where everything started and that i got aware of all the power i actually hold. all the things i actually can do just cause of my mind. i wrote down all my wishes in present tense ,like every single aspect i wanted to change/have in my life. and i started fully living in the end like really got myself into and at first of course, wavering from time to time in the beginning. it was pretty easy for me since i was used to manifestation.but what i didn’t do before is persist no matter what and that’s what was really tricky for me in the beginning to persist no matter what and not just give up to bullshit 3D. but when i kept moving forward no matter the 3D and made it facts the only my 4D matters and everything has already happened, ALL and every single wish down to the last one flowed into my life. ONE by ONE every single hour of the day i would get my manifestations down to the last letter i wrote in my notes.every single thing

success storyy

in a matter of few weeks like really 3 week-ish like- 1 month max.

starting off LUCK i’m extremely lucky now every single time i play gambling activities i win. i’ve won insane amounts at scratch cards i think i’ve won in total more than 5’000$. JUST FROM SCRATCH CARDS.and before i started i NEVER EVER WON. now whenever i play there’s not one time that i’ll win absolutely nothing even just a small prize

won huge lottery prize (from 200 to 12k the biggest i’ve won yet)

winning a gambling games, either online or dice rolling luck,bets, bingos etc.. its literally insane every one keep telling that i literally has got god’s blessing (i’m the god guys🥰)

financially freedom, my parents upgraded jobs and i’ve got lots of incomes + the money my parents give me

all the debts my dad had, he got rid of ALL of them and when i tell you mf had a lot of em☠️

move out in a new huge ass condo which is a duplex (like really like i wrote it it’s actually scary how powerful we are..) I’VE FINALLY GOT MY OWN ROOM and we’re getting my desired furnitures and decorating the house i’m so grateful

friends and popularity i think biggest shock for me is really this. like my social life has gone from very paisible to completely fully booked and passioning life. like seriously i’ve been to more parties, concerts, birthdays, and hangouts during the last 2 weeks holidays than in my entire life

got lot of new friends, healthy relationships and quality time passed on lots of fun activities and sm memories

black groups friend. WITH AN S.so thankful to myself to be this good a manifestation i litteraly got into a black friend group of girls and i’ve never felt more at my place and understood this much. and these girls know the black group boys (when i tell you that 2y ago they were the person that i wanted to be close with so bad..also they’re really hot and funny lol)so we hung out with them and i was literally so highlighted and became pretty much friends with all of them !!

my man. HELLO I LITERALLY MANIFESTED MY DREAM RELATIONSHIP? when i met him i didn’t actually realize right on the spot that he was exactly how i wanted him to be and reading back to when i scripted out all the things i wanted at the beginning, everything matched. he’s literally physically and mentally the man of my dream LIKE REALLY. we’re no bf and gf YET cause it’s just a little soon but we see each others super often and we have the best relationship ever i swear it’s giving wattpad. the flirting is crazyyy.

dream bod.from head to toe my desired body. heavy on the lower body all for that azz and wide hips.ive got smooth and clear skin and smell good all the time!! litteraly flawless face + got my braces which suits so much and dimples

plenty of vacations (went to ibiza, usa and dubai )

lenient parents they use to be so strict before i swear its crazy they let me go so easily now, i can hangout without asking 3 days ,like they accept even if i've gotta go in the next hour or if wanna go on trip that's in another country. i can come back home so much later too

attractive & magnetic aura + being really charismatic (everyone i met keep telling me i’ve got this thing that really makes them want me, get closer to me)

good grades without doing much

perfect self-concept - as i kept living 24/7 in the state of wish fulfilled, my self concept only got better making me really know what i’m worth and never wavering/ going back to the old story

whole ass pc set up

all of my desired skincare/makeups/shoes/clothes

and so much more...

outro

i hope y'all liked my blog and that it motivated some of you to NEVER GIVE UP cause y'all are reallyy some powerful mfs and y'all already got all of yours desires !!

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ honey kisses, shayama

#manifesting #law of assumption #sucess story #loa success #loa blog #loassumption #neville goddard #self concept #nondualism #void state #state of the wish fullfilled

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discotitsposts · 11 months ago

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meant to be

Spencer trying and failing to flirt with you because you are oblivious to his attempts.

spencer reid x reader

i picture this as later seasons spencer maybe sometime around 12-14?

some mature themes mentions of sex at the end so 18+

writing this because i saw something about people who are bad at flirting and that’s literally me. (i hope ppl get the reference w the nickname)

Spencer had tried every day to get your attention romantically. It didn’t work. Nothing did. You were so oblivious to all of his flirting attempts. He figured maybe you had trouble understanding so he worked harder to make you think of him as more than a friend. He tried everything his genius brain could come up with.

He even made up a nickname for you, Bean, because you always had a coffee in your hand, and because he was taller than you.

Today you were getting coffee with him as usual. At your favorite coffee shop and library. You didn’t work at the BAU so you would eventually have to go to your own job so Spencer decided to try again.

Since you lived in the same building, neighbors in the same hall, he picked you up every morning. Drove you to get coffee and you each picked a book for each other and then he drove you to work.

He knocks on your door awaiting anxiously. You come out in your outfit, just a t shirt and jeans. you didn’t have a dress code at your job, you were an author and usually went into a nice office that the publishing company provided to write since you had a hard time focusing in your apartment. Too many distractions.

In Spencer’s car you make small talk as he tries to think of a way to flirt with you. Normally he’d call Morgan but his son was a toddler now so he was busy. He gets so lost in his head he doesn’t realize he just ran a stop sign on accident and almost hit someone.

He hears you yell “Spencer what the fuck!” and slams the brakes. The other car honks and his heart is pounding in his brain. He pulls to the side of the road and stops.

“Spencer. Breathe. It’s ok.” You worry tracing your face at the sight of his extremely fast breathing and you rub his back reassuringly.

“Holy shit.” He barely chokes out. His face is beet red and he looks like he’s about to have a panic attack.

“Switch.” You tell him. He looks at you and feels comforted immediately by your face. “Let’s go, switch.” You get out of the car and switch sides.

‘So much for flirting’ he thinks. Then it hits him. When he picks your book for the day, he’ll give you a romantic story. Something that says ‘I really like you but I’m an idiot so I don’t know how to tell you but i’m not actually an idiot because im technically a genius but my fucked up life has ruined romance for me but i’d love to try it with you if you are okay with that.’

When you take over driving you don’t talk. You just focus on the road. You had even turned the music off. He hopes you’re not upset with him. That thought quickly dissipates when you pull into the parking lot and your face is beaming. You both race to the entrance and he gets there first and opens the door for you. You stick your tongue out at him and he smirks.

You order your usual drinks and he gets himself a breakfast bagel and you get a croissant. He puts the food at a table and you both get up to grab each other a book. You had yours picked since last night, The Godfather. It’s only a little over 400 pages so he’ll probably finish it by lunch time but at least it will be fun for him since it will make him think of you. At least you hope it does.

You have a habit of making funny commentary during movie nights. When you watched ‘The Godfather’ trilogy with Spencer he had laughed so hard he cried.

Meanwhile Spencer is searching rows of books looking for the right one. He moves to poetry but nothing feels right. He feels slightly frustrated so he moves back to classics and picks ‘A Little Princess’ instead. A favorite of yours you had read in elementary school. Not romantic but shows he knows you well.

When he makes his way back to the register to check the book out, you’re already seated munching your croissant. He makes his way to you and hides the book behind his back. You discreetly pull yours out of your bag and hide it the same way.

“1,2,3!” You both count at the same time and then reveal your books. Spencer cracks up when he sees the book you had picked. He had read this before but he enjoyed it because it reminded him of you. You both eat and finish your coffees. You look at each other.

“More?” Spencer asks.

“Obviously.” You answer. You both stand up and order more coffee.

Back in Spencer’s car you open the book and start reading. He’s about to put the key in the ignition when sudden confidence hits him. He doesn’t know if it’s the caffeine but he doesn’t care. He should kiss you right now. He stares at you until you look up.

“You’re going to be late for work if you don’t start that engine up soon Mr. Chauffeur.” You tease him.

He leans closer and puckers his lips slightly. He’s so filled with lust he just can’t wait anymore.

You look at him strangely. Was he trying to kiss you right now? Probably not. Truth was you were always so filled with doubt whenever you liked someone. Especially Spencer. He was just too handsome and sweet and perfect.

He leans in even closer to you and tilts his head. You, however, had gone back to your book and weren’t even looking at him.

“Does this make you uncomfortable” Spencer leans in closer. He closes his eyes and you lean down to reach for something from your bag. He doesn’t feel your soft lips on his and thinks he may have missed your face. He opens his eyes.

“Everything does. I have anxiety Spencer. All the time anywhere day and night. ” You reply while eating a yogurt you had found in your tote.

Spencer pulls away and smacks his forehead. He starts the car and drops you at your work and drives to the BAU feeling defeated. What would it take for you to realize how bad he wants you.

That night he decides to drop by your apartment. You had gotten a ride home from work by a friend tonight. He opens his door and walks the short distance to yours.

When his hand knocks on your door he feels nervous. You open the door and greet him.

“Hi!” You cheer.

“Hey, I was gonna order a pizza. You want?” He lies. He actually wasn’t the biggest fan of pizza. He didn’t eat it too often but it was your favorite food so why not.

“That would be great. I’m starving.” You clutch your belly dramatically. Which makes Spencer laugh.

He picks up the phone, “What would you like on the pizza m’lady.”

You tap your chin and think. “Sausage.” You reply. Spencer thinks of a way to flirt. Kind of.

“How much sausage would you like?” He asks smirking.

“Uhh, 5? I don’t know dude. The normal amount that goes on a pizza?” You answer sarcastically, going to your dvd rack to pick a movie. Spencer sighs. He calls and places the order and helps you pick a movie.

“How about ‘How To Be A Serial Killer?’ That’s a good one. I love Matthew Gray Gubler in this one so much.” You fan girl a little.

“Who the fuck is Matthew Gray Gubler? Also, no, not with my line of work. I need a break from that.” Spencer asks with a hint of jealousy in his voice. You clasp your hand over your heart dramatically.

“Ok, fine. how about a Disney Classic? Sleeping Beauty is my favorite.” You ask. Spencer nods. You put the movie on and grab two root beers from your fridge. Spencer thanks you when you hand him one and you lay a big fluffy blanket over you both. Not far into the movie the pizza arrives and you cheers Spencer with your pizza slice.

After you both eat and are full the movie is still on. You’re starting to feel sleepier by the second. Spencer offers you to lay with him and you take him up on it. He’s basically a giant teddy bear. He’s so warm and comfortable.

“I’ve got a real life sleeping beauty right here.” He whispers to you. You smile with your eyes closed. Too sleepy to open. He gets out from under you, to your dismay. He cleans up the trash from eating. He even washes some dishes you had left sitting. When he comes back, you’re still half awake. He sees you sneak an eye open to look at him and your smile after.

“It seems there’s a fair maiden who has fallen asleep. However can we wake her? What if she sleeps for a hundred years?!” He exclaims. You start giggling softly. He leans closer to observe you.

“I don’t believe it! She’s laughing in her sleep! Must be quite a funny dream. Wonder what it is. Only one way to find out.” He gently leans down and kisses your lips softly. This action puts you in shock and you’re blushing. He starts to pull away because doubts fill his mind. You grab his hair and pull him back in.

You both pull back and he starts to ask you,

“Were you ok with that?”

You cut him off, “Yes.” Then you rip your shirt off. Spencer’s in shock. He follows your lead and starts undressing. He picks you up and carries you to your bedroom. The kiss you’re sharing is deepening by the second.

“Fuck why is it so hot in here.” You complain.

“I can think of a few reasons.” Spencer had been kissing you on your neck sucking the skin softly. He lays you back on the bed. He makes you comfortable. He goes down on you and then fucks you like you’ve never been fucked before.

The next morning you woke up naked next to him flashes of last night replaying. You couldn’t believe it. Spencer was so passionate! You didn’t even imagine he liked you like that.

He groans next to you and turns over. You get up and put on some coffee. When you come back into the bedroom he’s awake and looking for you.

“Hey, coffee’s ready.” You lean over and kiss him. He groans too tired to give an answer. He pulls you into the bed and holds you longer.

With him, this felt so easy and realistic.

Then you realize something.

This was meant to be.

the end ♡

to anyone who read this far: hope u enjoyed reading!! please let me know if u enjoyed! xoxo

#criminal minds #spencer reid #mgg #matthewgraygubler #spencer reid x reader #dr spencer reid

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lostreverb · 4 months ago

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DAD!RALPH BOHNER HEADCANONS

a/n: if we're gonna call him a dilf might as well write about it! also he gives girl dad vibes so we're going with that! AND SORRY ABOUT THE ANGST I'M LIKE ADDICTED TO WRITING IT

warning: mentions of PTSD, swearing

• you and your four year old daughter were coincidentally on a trip to visit family when the hex happened, your husband ralph couldn't get out of work but insisted you go without him

• after everything, ralph's mental state was so poor he had to quit his job, so instead of having a nanny, ralph becomes a stay at home dad while you work

• you were reasonably uncertain if ralph was mentally stable enough to take care of a child as well as himself but he insisted he's capable

• loves you and his daughter more than anything in the world

• calls her "bub, hon, sweetpea, babygirl, little gremlin, kiddo"

• is very protective of his family (especially after the hex)

• he buys everyone evil eye necklaces and makes you wear them to keep you safe

• doesn't sleep much anymore unless he's napping with his daughter

• it's quite literally the only time he gets any kind of peaceful sleep

• you had definitely spent an entire year trying to get her sleep on her own but that's out the window now and she'll only sleep in your bed

• on the occasions he does try to get a full night's rest, ralph still gets nightmares. but when he wakes up in a sweat, seeing "his girls" cuddled up with him calms him down, sometimes enough to where he can go back to sleep

• your daughter adores her dad's grown out curls, and often raves about how they look just like hers (compared to the cropped hair he had before) and mindlessly plays with his beard when they're sat on the couch watching TV

• does funny voices when he reads stories to her

• lives for hearing + making her laugh with corny jokes (btw she thinks he's the funniest person in the world)

• practices his one man show for her and the reason you know is because she'll try and recite certain plot points to you as if that's something that happened to her

• ralph forgets to eat but when he does, it's often just whatever your daughter doesn't finish of her food or he raids the fridge at 3 am

• generally his diet consists of celsius and half eaten dino nuggets

• sends her to preschool with totems he makes for show n' tell

• you got a call at work once because she did the black magic warding chants ralph taught her with an animal skull totem and it scared some kids and made them cry

• according to your daughter it was only "like 2 people" who cried and assured you that everything was fine b/c the rest of the class thought she was "the awesomest"

• you have to tell her to stop going around telling people her dad is an expert in "getting rid of witches" b/c they think she means "bitches"

• whenever you come home to seeing your daughter sat in ralph's lap at his computer, he tells you he's just working on his one man show but he's really on reddit and other forums teaching her how to protect herself from witches

• has learned well how to dress his daughter but b/c of his sketchy appearance sometimes ppl think she's been kidnapped, especially if she starts to throw a tantrum in public and you're not around

• cared very much for billy and tommy b/c they reminded him of his daughter

• there's been times where he's particularly struggling with his PTSD and accidentally scares her and it breaks his heart

• despite this, she'll come over and try to cheer him up with one of her stuffed animals and hug him or do one of the chants he taught her because that's what her idea of protection and safety is

-----------

ANGST DRABBLE

ralph sits with his head in his hands, distraught. he had another episode, this time in front of his young daughter. seeing the look of shock and fear on her face broke his heart.

those damn witches had hell to pay for what they've done.

"daddy?" he hears a small voice say. ralph's head shoots up. his daughter, holding her favorite teddy bear (which she renamed "papa bear" after noticing how closely his new look resembles the stuffed animal) walked up to him. her eyes are still a bit glossy, but she's smiling regardless.

"hey hon..." ralph speaks softly, reaching out to stroke her hair. "what have you got there?"

she puts the teddy into his arms, searching his face for a reaction.

"is.. this for me?"

she nods and ralph gasps holding it tight.

"oh wow, thank you babygirl- c'mere-"

he pulls her in for a deep embrace, kissing her head and whispering that he's sorry and that he loves her so much. a tear falls down his cheek as he holds her small body against his, hearing her say "i love you more, daddy!" in that sweet tone of hers.

it takes everything in his power not to completely break down.

------------

FLUFF DRABBLE

after finishing dinner, you walk up the stairs, hearing the sound of chanting coming from the bedroom.

"close! remember kiddo you've got to do it twice for it to really work so let's go again- OUMMMM-"

"mommy!" at the sight of you, your daughter jumps off ralph's lap and throws her little arms around your legs.

"hi!" you respond enthusiastically, hugging her back. "just wanted to let you both know dinner was ready. what are you guys... up to?"

ralph avoids your eyes by pretending to look around the room. your daughter smiles up at you, bursting with excitement.

"daddy was teaching me-"

ralph interrupts. "dinner's ready? oh, you have perfect timing babe we're starving- uh kiddo? why don't you go wash your hands?"

"ooookayyyy!!" your daughter skips out of the room, curly ponytail swinging back and forth in time with her steps.

"again? ralph we talked about this-"

"i know, sorry..." he sighs. you notice his eyes linger on your chest.

"like what you see?" you tease, wiggling your eyebrows.

"no-! i mean- yes, of course but- you're not wearing the necklace..." he pouts.

you roll your eyes and reach into your shirt to pull the chain out.

"oh- my bad"

"yeah- now mr. bohnerrific69, could you please tell my husband that dinner's ready and he needs to actually eat tonight? because a whole pack of oreo's is not a sufficient meal."

"who told you i-?!"

ralph's gaze moves to your daughter, who's peeking past the door frame giggling.

"snitch!" ralph gasps dramatically and stands up from his desk, starting to playfully chase her down the hall. "thought you could rat me out huh? we had a deal!"

tags (ask to be added or removed anytime!): @fear-is-truth @juliamaximoff @jazz-berry @violetsghosts @quickreider @tiffysdeath @honeymoon8 @wcnderlnds @lacucarachapisser @xrag-dollx

#“i never knew your brother was so... good with kids” under with context that ralph is a dad just hits different idc if it's a hc 🥲#“i was such a terrible influence on wanda and visions kids” HE'S A FATHER YOUR HONOR #evan peters #evan peters fandom #ralph bohner #ralph bohner fanfic #evan peters fanfic #evan peters x reader #dad!evan peters #agatha all along

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whxrecruxxes · 9 months ago

Text

MIAMI, THE CITY THAT KEEPS THE ROOF BLAZIN'- ln4

pairing- lando norris x fem! reader genre- established relationship (idk yall) OH ALSO victory smut warning- SMUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTT (you dirty dirty ppl, don't be silly, wrap your willy), victory head ( my boy lando deserves it), lowk pda ???? idk yall tell me if you spot any lollolololol summary- when your boyfriend brings back his first ever GP win, there seems to be only one way you both think of celebrating. GUYS GUYS GUYS HE DID IT I ACC CRIED OUR BOY DID IT !!! LAND NORRIS, GP WINNER. LANDO NOWINS IS NO MORE. GUYS I WAS ACC UNWELL, I CAN'T EVEN I WAS CRYING SO HARD 🥺 anwayyyyyyysssss this is not proofread so sorry if there are any spelling mistakes

• —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • · keep reading !! · • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —–

Those last few laps, you could barely sit still. You spent them biting your bottom lip and pinching your forearm underneath the orange of your hoodie, too scared to even move. Especially after that DNF during the sprint, Lando did not have high hopes for the race, he had told you so right before you two got to the track that morning. And now here you are, sitting in the garage near Lando's dad, fiddling with the promise ring around your finger. Tears started blurring your vision as the final lap was announced, your legs shaking despite you sitting down. When he crosses the finish line, you can barely contain your sobs and your body folds forward as you press your hand over your mouth, Lando's father cheering and rubbing your bag softly. Zak comes running in from the Pit wall, cheering and whooping as he runs towards you.

"He did it ! He fuckin did it !" He yells, wrapping you in his arms and jumping up and down. He's laughing and cheering as he pulls away from you, holding your hand.

"You need to come down with us. He'll want to see you." He says.

"But i'm not allowed. I don't want to get in trouble." Adam nods beside you.

"You should. Knowing my boy, he'll want to celebrate with you." Zak nods, sighing heavily.

"Besides, what the hell they gonna do ? Lando will punch anyone who tries to take you away from him. And he would punch us for not dragging you along, so come on !" You let yourself get taken away, softly crying as you're guided down to the track. You see Lando climb out of his car and punch the air, holding a one with his finger. You can hear him screaming through his helmet, his voice raw. He jumps off the car and is immediately swarmed by max and carlos, who hug the younger driver amicably. He turns towards his team, where you're nestled between his engineer and his father, barely visible in the sea of orange and height. He takes his helmet off, placing it down on he floor, before running up to his team.They instantly grab him and lift him above their heads, bouncing him up and down as they cheer and he laughs. Seeing that smile on his face makes your heart warm.

He's waited for this for so long.

When he's placed down on the floor, his father pats his shoulder and Lando drapes his arms around him tightly. The smile on his face is wider than you've ever seen when he backs away, and it only grows when he finally spots you.

"Baby !" His eyes grow and he lunges for you, shoving anybody out of his way that seemed to be suffocating you in the tiniest way. His arms wrap around you and he kisses the inside of your neck as you lean up on your tiptoes.

"You did it, Lan." You sob as he pulls away. "I'm so proud of you, baby." He cups your cheeks and kisses you, so long and so hard it shoves all air out of your lungs. It knocks you on your ass, falling back to your flat feet and him leaning over the railing to get better access to your lips. His teeth graze your bottom lip, his hands venturing into your hair to tug you closer. You whimper in his kiss, fully aware of the people cheering around you and the cameras probably angled towards you. When he finally pulls away, he kisses your forehead and wipes away your tears. He stares down at you, absolutely ecstatic, before he's dragged away to the med tent.

The podium is even more of a fever dream, watching him spray champagne all over his team below and the other drivers spray him all over, not even leaving him a moment to speak. He winks down at you and you can't help the rumble in your stomach. The promise of celebration is always evident whenever Lando is on the podium - but his first ever win ? There is no way you'll be able to walk tomorrow. And it's already bad enough whenever he looses.

You feel a tug on your arm as the Podium Celebrations come to an end.

"Psst." You turn around to be greeted by Lando's engineer, who seems quite annoyed to be the one to have to tell you this.

"Lando wants you to meet him in his driver's room. He says he needs to speak to you." He says, nodding slightly. You smile at him and thank him, starting to break away from the crowd, but he tugs you back. "Look, i know it's his first win but let's not have a remake of Austria. I don't think anybody could unhear that for months. Just.. try to be quiet." he says, offering you a kind smile to lessen your obvious embarassement. You nod, too scared to speak, and break away from the crowd. Your steps are hurried as you rush to his room, your cheeks red. You knock on the door and wait patiently, anxiously looking over your shoulder. When the door finally slides open, your heart leaps into your throat. He's torn off his suit, the fireproof soaked with champagne and sweat sticking to his sculpted chest and arms. His soft curls are soaked with champagne, the soft cut on the bridge of his nose from the week before reddened with irritation. You smile up at him instantly pushing him into the room and shutting the door behind you. He wraps his arms around you and breathes in your scent, hands gripping you tight.

"My girl." He mutters into your neck, which makes you giggle and tears start to flow up into your eyes again. You pulling away from him, cupping his cheeks.

"I'm so happy for you, baby." You mutter, running your thumb over his nose bridge. "I can finally say i'm dating a race winner." You say. He smiles, gripping your waist.

"Don't you want to say you've fucked a race winner ?" He says, moving your hair away from your neck to wrap his lips around the soft skin. You whimper as soon as his lips come on contact with your skin, leaning into his touch.

"Maybe later." you breathe. He pulls away, frowning.

"Maybe later ? C'mon now, baby, you're hurting my feelings." He jokes. You roll your eyes, softly untying the knot he's made around his hips with his suit.

"Of course you'll get to do that, Lan." You breathe out. If it's one thing Lando knew, is that you were always insatiable for him- and he for you. There was not a moment in public where his hands weren't on your hips and ass, and that your hands weren't combing his hair or kissing his cheeks. Most people found it quite sickening and they would tell you, but Lando would refuse to let you back away, even when you were embarassed that someone would point it out.

Your fingers push the suit apart, shoving it down his legs.

"Whatcha doing now, then ?" He asks, smiling lazily. You look up at him, grinning.

"Giving you a proper celebration." You mutter, pushing his fireproof up his abs as you kiss your way down, kneeling down to your knees. You blindly pat on your wrists to find a hair tie but you can't for the life of you find one. You're about to resort to just shoving your hair down your shirt to keep it out of the way when lando tilts your head up. He slips a hair tie off his wirst.

"Here you go, love. Always have one on hand." He mutters, smiling in that boyish smile that makes you want to give in to his drunken gaze and let him bend you over like he obviously is dreaming of. But he's always the one to make sure you feel good. Now, it's your turn to make him see stars.You tie your hair back quickly and kiss your way down his thighs, fingers grazing his abdomen as they loop around the band on his boxers.

"C'mon, princess, don't tease me." He begs. He's losing his shit, watching you on your knees, eyes already heavy lidded. that bright papaya dress stretching perfectly around your breasts and ass, too far away from him to grab but still delicious enough to stare at. His hand wraps around your ponytail, establishing his grip on you as you finally tug his boxers down. His cock springs up, and your eyes widen, already salivating at the sight. Looking up at him through your eyelashes, you wrap your hand around him and softly lick at the precum gathering there, making his head tilt back and a heavy breath leave his chest. He looks like a mess in your grip, his fireproof still halfway pushed up from when you were kissing your way down, and he's made no move to lower it, giving you a great view of his abs.

His grip around your hair tightens and he licks his lips, looking down at you as you ease the veiny length inside your mouth, running your tongue along the vein on the underside, right where you know makes him shiver.

"Fuck, baby, not so fast." he grumbles as your cheeks hollow around him, your hand pumping the rest of the length you couldn't fit in your mouth. He's heavy in your mouth, choking you in the best way possible. He brushes away a tear from the corner of your eye, groaning as he notices your thighs clenching to relive some of the pressure building up. At first, seeing you cry as you sucked him off scared him. The first time ever, he pulled away from you and knelt down beside you, gushing over you as how scared he was to hurt you. After a while he learnt that it was just the way tour face muscles were stretched, but that doesn't mean that seeing you cry doesn't scare him when he sees it. Although right now, your tongue is swirling around his tip, and he's clutching your hair tighter, his groans getting louder.

"Ah, fuck, baby. You take me so well- Shit, I can't wait to be inside you." Your eyes roll back into your skull as you hear those words, feeling your juices coating your thighs beneath your dress. Your pumps start moving faster, your hand tightening around his length and your tongue swirling around his tip. He shoves you down closer to him, groaning as he feels the pressure build up in his stomach. You can tell by the way his cock twitches in your mouth, throbbing with release. Knowing it'll drive him crazy, you pull away, kitten licking down his length, driving him away from his orgasm. He grumbles.

"God, please stop teasing me." He begs, grabbing your chin and tilting your head back, running his thumb along your bottom lip. You get to your feet, ankles wobbly, hand still wrapped around his length. He pulls you to him, lips wrapping around yours, his own hands moving fast to push the flimsy material of your dress up and past you hips all while tugging the top down to reveal your breasts. You hum into his kiss.

"Lan-Lan, we have to be quiet."

"Quiet ? Baby, i just won my first race. I want the entire paddock to know. Hell, the whole of Miami." He tears his firepoof off finally, revealing his abs to you as he grabs your waist and hoists you up, letting you wrap your thighs around his waist. You giggle as he drops you down onto the couch and slots his body between your legs, kissing your neck. A breathy moan leaves your lips as you cup his neck, running your fingers in his curls, biting your bottom lip. He smells of sweat and champagne, and it makes your heart race.

Lando Norris, Race winner.

"You ready, baby ?" He asks, looking up at you as he pushes your underwear to the side. You nod, and you feel his tip slide through your folds. He pushes in slightly, and a drawn out whine of his name leaves your lips, welcoming the stretch.

"Ah, Lan." You whine, nails digging into his shoulders. He kisses your exposed collarbone, his hand reaching up to tug your bra down.

"God, you're so wet f'me, darling. So fucking good for me- My good girl. You want more ? Want to take all of it ?" He asks, his tone teasing as you whine underneath him.

"Please, Lan, please." You beg. He kisses your temple, before pushing into you fully, bottoming into you fully, letting out a low groan. Your walls clench around him and he groans, catching your lips with his, his hand wrapping around your throat slightly.

"God you have no idea how bad i wanted you when I saw you when i got out of that car." He mutters, his hips rutting against yours, his tip hitting that spongy spot deep within you that makes your eyes roll.

"That entire last lap i was thinking of you, baby. My pretty girl, taking me so fucking well." His words are edging you on, your thighs shaking as his rough hands palm them to plough you harder and faster. he bites down on your neck slightly, eliciting a loud moan from you. The rythmic banging of the couch against the wall is deafening, and you convince yourself that there's no need to stay quite anymore when he sits up, sitting you down in his lap and rilling your hips against his. You throw your head back, his hands moving your hips to match the pace at which hes thrusting up into you.

The new angle pushes lewd whimpers and moans out of you, and he seems to relish in it. If there's one thing Lando loves more than you, it's hearing how good he makes you feel. Whether its you telling him straight up or the moans and whimpers he forces out of you, which he enjoys tremendously. Wrapping his arm around your waist firmly, he pulls you in, your hips relentlessly chasing that feeling building up within you.

"God, Lando."

"You close, hm ? You wanna come all over my dick, hm ?" He asks. Your bury you hands in his curls, biting your bottom lip, your thighs shaking as he lifts up to thrust into you at your pace. Your wall squeeze around him and he groans, head falling onto your shoulder as he kisses your exposed breasts and collarbone. Soft whimpers and moans are leaving your lips, and that just seems to drive him further. His thumbs reaches down to press on your clit, and your back arches at the overstimulation.

"Ah- Lan, fuck, i-i can't. S'too much." You whine, licking your lips.

"You can take it, c'mon baby. Open your eyes, look at me." He says as you open your eyes to look at him. He bites his bottom lip. "Fuck, you're so goregous like this. I fuckin' love you so much, baby."

That's enough to drive you insane, gushing around him as your walls flutter around his throbbing length, your body falling forward as your orgasm hits you hard and fast. He follows suit, emptying himself inside you, groaning into your ear as you keep your grip on his sweaty curls, kissing his neck lazily.

"Did so good f'me, babe." He mutters, softly lifting you off of him. You whimper at the loss of him, feeling empty. he blindly reaches over to a towel beside him, softly placing you beside him and bringing the towel to between your legs. You whine as he grazes your overstimulated core, and he kisses your temple, apologising underneath his breath profusely. Lando may love pleasuring you, especially after good races, but he usually gets taken away and hurts you- and that's the last thing he wants.

"I'm sorry, my love. You know how i get after good races." He mutters, adjusting your underwear back over your core and pull your dress back down your thighs and up to cover up your breasts. He grabs a spare pair of boxers and jeans from the chair, before slipping on a clean shirt and walking back to you, lovingly tucking you against him. You breathe in his scent, the new clothes still heavy with his cologne.

"It's okay. I like celebrating with you, like this." You mutter, fingers tracing the soft veins in his neck. "I really am proud of you, Lan. I couldn't sit still those last few laps." You say, not meeting his eyes. He chases your gaze, his piercing blue eyes staring into yours.

"You were the one thing i thought of." He says, tucking your hair behind your ear. "You're my everything, love, and I couldn't think of anyone else better to celebrate with." He says, smiling.

A soft knock is heard behind the door.

"Right, you done shagging now ?" You go rigid at the Aussie accent, covering your reddening face. Lando laughs and answers,

"Come in, Osc !" Oscar pulls open the door, walking in on you snuggled into your boyfriends chest.

"Lily wanted me to ask if you guys want to go out for dinner."

"I dunno.. What do you think, darling ?" He asks, fiddling with your hair, softly brushing your cheek with his thumb."Think you'll be able to walk ?" He whispers. Your cheeks go red and you look up at Oscar, making sure he didn't hear. You shove at his face, rolling your eyes.

"We'd love to, Osc." He smiles at you, before leaving the room. Before he's fully out, he turns to face you guys.

"Also.. Maybe keep it down next time- the entire hospitality was shaking." He says, before finally turning away and leaving. You cover your face, embarassed, but Lando kisses your forehead affectionately.

"C'mon, love. We've got a proper celebration to get to." He says, helping you up. You frown.

"So that wasn't the celebration ?" You ask. He winks.

"No, baby. That was just the beginning, there's more coming when we get home, so you better get that little ass up and jog it into my car so i can devour you the second we cross that door." He says.

You don't think you've gotten up faster.

And of course, as always, Lando held up his end of the deal, your thighs shaking underneath the table at dinner with Oscar and Lily, his hand on your thigh.

If this is what winning a race is like, you never want him to lose ever again.

#formula one #formula one imagine #formula one x y/n #formula one x reader #formula one fanfiction #lando norris #lando norris x y/n #ln4

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quietzap · 4 months ago

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how do you navigate your feelings towards ziam and cheryl/bear/kate/maya on top of this immense grief? i don't mean to be insensitive but i haven't found an answer for myself yet, i can't believe we'll never get answers now

(To anyone seeing this, read until the end before saying anything thank you.) Well. I'm gonna ramble a bit but bear with me. Spotify played Let Me and Common on shuffle the other day and I cried a bit. It's unfair. It should've never ended this way. But I had already accepted ages ago that we might never know the truth. I still have my beliefs. That Zayn and Liam were together. Maybe they had broken up who knows but if they did then I still truly believe their bond was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. I've gone through so many emotions this past week. But seeing the posts of cheryl etcetc or people mentioning bear (Zayn was the only one who didn't fwiw), it didn't make me feel anything. Maybe bc I had already accepted we couldn't do anything about the stunts, and/or maybe bc it's still difficult for me to accept he's really gone or bc it doesn't matter to me at this moment. Or bc I haven't actually sat down to think about what it means that he's gone. I've just been thinking of the pain all of Liam's loved ones are in right now and will be in for the foreseeable future. And I include Zayn in this. I also don't really want to think about it bc I think I might get angry. We've all seen Liam's video on snapchat from last month, where he said he was stunting and forced to do things he didn't want to do and to send help. I often used to say that I didn't understand why the boys accepted this situation instead of just getting out, consequences be damned. Ofc it's easier said than done. But I thought maybe they thought it was worth it in some way. But then, Louis got out. Zayn got out. (In some way, I mean they have privacy and a real career, like Niall and Harry). I guess I will never understand why Liam was still the only one so stuck in this shitty situation. Why couldn't he live his life in peace like Zayn and only appear when he released music? Why couldn't he find a better team or why did he even accept to go along for so long? Why did people let him? Why?! That's what I want to know. Fucking why. And I want Liam's image/reputation to be redeemed. Anyway I digressed I'm sorry.

I just sincerely hope Zayn will be ok. Jaymi who was in Union J lost his soon-to-be-husband a couple months ago (Olly was buried the day they were supposed to get married last month). They'd been together for 14 years. And Olly died in similar circumstances (a fall from the 3rd floor of a hotel). And as incredibly awful as this is, knowing that other people are going through similar grief helps a bit, and I hope it will help Zayn and Liam's loved ones know they're not alone. (Edit: I'm not saying these deaths are linked, Olly's death is an accident, Jaymi was there when it happened. This paragraph is about not being fully alone in grief because other ppl go through similar things).

Idek if I've answered your question. I guess basically the stunts don't cross my mind coz it's not important to me. These past few years when Liam was alive it wasn't important (tho I hated it) bc I accepted the boys made their own choices. And now it's not important bc it won't bring Liam back and bc his loved ones matter more to me. Now, if I'm actually wrong about my beliefs then it is what it is and I feel for his exes/gf/child, and if the maya thing is true I still think addiction made him act that way and that if he'd got a chance to really get better this wouldn't have happened again. If I'm not wrong tho, I truly feel for Zayn who doesn't get to grieve the way he deserves to. Tho I'm glad he has loved ones who know the truth and who can support him the right way.

I hope this helps. Feel free to tell me if you want to discuss this further or anything ❤️

(Link to the videos of Liam from snapchat: x)

#he and they deserved so much better #anonymous #answered asks #ziam #2024

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merafanbrainthatmerafans · 5 days ago

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hey im a new follower of your blog and i love your work so much! im not sure if your taking requests if not thats completely fine (plz ignore this and know that im reading all of your amazing work!) but if so, could we get bnha characters (please include overhaul, shinsou, shoto and tamaki) headcanons for how they are when they are jealous! have an amazing day!

Oh my freacking GOD! I almost cried honestly T^T OFC I TAKE REQUESTS I've asking that from the BEGINNING!!!!!! I'm so freaking happy people read my shitty wiritng and call it "amazing" like ahhhhhhh!!!! This will be a detailed post and Imma add all the guys <333 Enjoy reading and PPL PLSSSSS send more requests <33333333333333333

Izuku Midoriya – The Caring Hero Struggling with Unspoken Jealousy

Izuku Midoriya is often selfless and caring, always prioritizing others above himself. His jealousy is subtle, born from his deep desire to be the one who makes you feel safe and valued. When he sees you talking to another guy, even though he understands that it’s harmless, he can’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy. It’s not because he wants to control who you talk to, but because he’s afraid that someone else might be able to support you in ways he can’t.

In those moments, Izuku might become quiet and withdrawn, unable to shake the thought that he might be losing your attention or affection to someone else. He doesn’t lash out or show his jealousy openly. Instead, it manifests in small gestures—maybe he tries a little harder to be around you, offering to help more than usual, or seeking out moments to talk to you one-on-one. His jealousy isn’t destructive, but it is something he struggles with internally.

He’ll often reassure himself by thinking about how important your happiness is to him, but those feelings of inadequacy sometimes bubble up, especially when you laugh or smile at something another guy says. Izuku’s jealousy makes him push even harder to be the hero you deserve, hoping that his actions will show you how much he cares, but he may never directly admit it to you.

Katsuki Bakugo – The Fierce Rival Burning with Jealousy

Katsuki Bakugo, fiercely competitive and protective, has a prideful personality that doesn’t take well to the idea of someone else vying for your attention. When he notices you chatting with another guy, his jealousy quickly flares, burning hot like his explosions. He doesn’t hesitate to show his frustration, whether it's through a sharp remark, an angry glare, or a sudden challenge. His fiery personality makes it clear that he feels threatened, though he would never outright admit it.

Bakugo’s jealousy is aggressive, and he may try to “outdo” the guy you’re talking to, whether it’s through his strength, his skills, or his fiery attitude. He might get sarcastic, saying something like, “Don’t think you’re better than me just because you can talk to her!” His jealousy may also come out in his behavior toward you—he’ll act gruff, trying to reclaim your attention by acting tougher or more assertive.

Despite his outbursts, Bakugo does care deeply for you, and his jealousy stems from his fear of not being good enough or losing you. While he might never admit it, he just wants to be the one who’s always there for you.

Shoto Todoroki – The Quiet Storm of Insecurity

Shoto Todoroki is typically calm and collected, but underneath his composed exterior, there’s a subtle storm of jealousy that emerges when he sees you talking to another guy. He doesn’t show it outright, but there’s an internal battle raging inside him. His jealousy manifests in silence—he watches quietly, perhaps a little too long, wondering if he’s losing his place in your heart.

Shoto’s jealousy is tied to his insecurities and his desire to be someone who can support you as you deserve. While he won’t lash out or confront the guy, he may become more withdrawn, suddenly unsure of how to approach you. It’s not about mistrusting you—it’s about his fear that someone else might be able to make you smile in ways he hasn’t.

He might try to get closer to you, subtly looking for moments where he can prove he’s just as capable of making you happy, but he’ll always do so quietly, never wanting to seem needy or desperate. His jealousy eats at him in a way that’s more self-reflective than confrontational, and in the quiet moments, he’ll wonder if he’s truly good enough for you.

Hitoshi Shinso – The Quiet Struggler with Unseen Jealousy

Hitoshi Shinso often feels like he’s overlooked, and his jealousy emerges quietly when he sees you talking to another guy. Despite his intelligence and talents, Shinso often feels like he’s constantly fighting to be noticed, and when you engage with someone else, it stirs up those insecurities. Unlike Bakugo’s explosive jealousy or Shoto’s internalized struggle, Shinso’s jealousy is born from his desire for validation.

He might retreat into himself, trying not to show his feelings, but deep down, he can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy, wondering if the guy you’re talking to is somehow more charming or better suited for you than he is. He doesn’t lash out or make a scene; instead, he’ll withdraw, perhaps becoming quieter or more distant.

When you do finally pay attention to him again, he might try harder to prove his worth, seeking your approval through small acts or offering you his own kind of attention. His jealousy is about proving that he’s just as capable of making you happy, though he’ll likely keep it hidden, not wanting to seem desperate for your affection.

Shota Aizawa – The Reserved Mentor with Quiet Jealousy

Aizawa is usually reserved and pragmatic, focused on his students’ growth, but he’s not immune to feelings of jealousy—especially when it comes to someone else getting your attention. Aizawa’s jealousy is quiet and restrained, but it still stirs beneath the surface. When he sees you talking to another guy, he might feel a subtle pang of jealousy, mostly stemming from his own insecurities.

Aizawa isn’t one to express his feelings outwardly, so his jealousy doesn’t manifest in anger or confrontations. Instead, it shows in the way he watches, quietly reflecting on whether he’s been too distant or if he’s been taking you for granted. His jealousy is less about the guy you’re talking to and more about wondering if he’s been fulfilling his role as your protector or confidant.

In the rare moments when he’s alone with you, Aizawa may subtly try to reclaim your attention, offering words of support or even showing his softer side. His jealousy isn’t about competition; it’s about his deep, quiet concern that someone might be getting closer to you in a way he hasn’t been able to.

Tamaki Amajiki – Shy, Self-Conscious, and Struggling with Insecurity

Tamaki Amajiki is a character deeply marked by insecurity and self-doubt. His jealousy, unlike others who might react more outwardly, tends to manifest in a more internal, withdrawn way. His lack of self-esteem makes him prone to feeling inferior or inadequate, especially when he perceives someone else as being closer to you than he is. Tamaki is not one to express his jealousy openly, but his feelings of hurt and possessiveness are still very strong.

When he feels jealous, he doesn’t immediately lash out or make a scene. Instead, his body language becomes more closed off and tense. You might notice that Tamaki starts to withdraw from you, avoiding eye contact and shrinking into himself whenever the person he’s jealous of is near. His usually gentle and shy demeanor might become even more reserved, as if he’s trying to shrink into the background to avoid confronting his feelings.

In a situation where someone else is getting your attention, Tamaki will often find it difficult to express his discomfort. His heart will race, and he’ll feel a knot tighten in his stomach, but he won’t know how to verbalize it. He might start muttering to himself or speaking nervously, unsure of how to handle the jealousy bubbling up inside him.

If the other person’s attention on you becomes too much for Tamaki to handle, his self-consciousness will only intensify. He might start fidgeting with his hands or tapping his fingers nervously, trying to distract himself from the uncomfortable feelings. He will feel his insecurity growing, and he may even question whether he is worthy of your attention or love. “They’re so much better than me, aren’t they?” he might ask quietly, either to himself or to you, unable to stop the spiraling thoughts.

In these moments, he’s not likely to voice his jealousy outright, but his actions will betray his inner turmoil. He might distance himself emotionally or even physically, stepping back from you in a way that signals he’s hurting, but doesn’t know how to deal with it. He may also try to act distant, pretending that he’s not bothered, even though it’s clear that he is.

If you confront him directly, Tamaki will likely be flustered and avoid eye contact, his face flushed with embarrassment. “I’m not… I’m not mad or anything,” he’ll stammer, his voice wavering. But there will be a vulnerability in his eyes that’s hard to ignore. He’s not angry; he’s just scared—scared that you’ll prefer someone else, scared that he’s not enough.

If you reassure him, Tamaki will probably apologize repeatedly for feeling this way. “I don’t want to be like this… I just… I can’t help it,” he might say, feeling deeply ashamed of his jealousy. His insecurity runs deep, and he will often feel as though he’s a burden to those around him, so the idea of you paying attention to someone else only exacerbates those feelings.

In moments where the jealousy becomes too overwhelming, Tamaki might unintentionally retreat into his self-doubt. He could start avoiding interactions, giving you space out of fear that his jealousy will push you away. He might say something like, “You don’t need me around… I’m not important,” not because he wants you to leave, but because he fears losing you to someone he believes is better.

If the jealousy continues to simmer, Tamaki will likely need reassurance and gentle affection to help him regain his sense of worth. You might find him asking for your attention in a way that feels almost apologetic, like he’s not sure if he deserves it. “I don’t want to be selfish… but… could you stay with me for a while?” he might ask softly, his voice full of vulnerability.

Once his jealousy is acknowledged and addressed, Tamaki will quickly revert back to his shy and kind self, but the insecurity will always be there, lurking in the background. His jealousy stems from his deep desire to feel loved and accepted, but also from his own feelings of inadequacy. To him, being jealous means feeling like he's losing something precious—your affection and your attention—and that fear often drives his more withdrawn, uncertain behavior.

Mirio Togata – Cheerful, Confident, but Struggling with Hidden Insecurity

Mirio Togata, known for his boundless optimism and unwavering confidence, is often the last person you'd expect to experience jealousy. His carefree and upbeat nature is contagious, and he's usually the one who encourages others to believe in themselves. However, despite his positive exterior, Mirio is not immune to feeling jealousy—especially when it comes to something or someone he values deeply, like a close friendship or his relationship with you.

Unlike characters who wear their jealousy on their sleeves, Mirio tends to internalize his feelings, often masking them behind his usual bright smile. When he experiences jealousy, he doesn’t lash out or become overly possessive, but there are subtle signs that something is amiss. He might try to distract himself with humor or jokes, trying to downplay the feeling or make light of the situation to avoid showing his discomfort. “Guess I’ll just have to keep up with you, huh?” he might say in a teasing tone, even though deep down, his pride is hurt.

Mirio’s jealousy tends to arise when he feels like he’s losing something important to someone else—whether that’s your attention, affection, or praise. If he notices someone else getting closer to you, his first instinct will be to smile and act like it doesn’t bother him. But there’s a quiet undercurrent of unease that he tries to suppress, especially if that other person is someone he feels is more deserving of your time or admiration.

Internally, Mirio might think, “What if they’re better than me?” or “What if they make you happy in ways I can’t?” These thoughts don’t come easily to someone as confident as him, and that’s what makes them all the more difficult for him to process. His own insecurities rarely see the light of day, but in moments like this, they start to surface. He may feel like he has to work harder to keep your attention, and his usual easygoing demeanor might become strained.

In more intimate or private moments, when his guard is down, Mirio might express his jealousy more directly. If you’re spending time with someone else or praising them, Mirio might tease, “Don’t forget about me, okay? I might be the one who can keep up with you the best.” This playful comment, though seemingly lighthearted, can reveal the underlying insecurity that he doesn’t usually show. He might also try to show off or do something impressive to grab your attention, not because he wants to one-up others, but because he’s afraid of being overshadowed.

Despite his feelings of jealousy, Mirio would never want to make you feel guilty or obligated to choose between him and someone else. He’s too kindhearted and selfless to put that kind of pressure on you. Instead, he might suppress his emotions and try to act as though everything is fine, even if it's not. His jealousy might manifest in him being a little quieter than usual or a bit more distant. He might withdraw for a while to work through his feelings on his own, hoping that they’ll pass with time.

If you notice and confront him, Mirio might try to brush it off with a smile, saying, “I’m just being dumb, don’t mind me.” But behind that smile, he’s feeling vulnerable. He doesn’t want to admit that he’s jealous, because he sees it as a weakness. “I don’t want to seem selfish or needy. You don’t have to worry about me,” he might add, downplaying the seriousness of his feelings.

However, Mirio’s jealousy is not something that will fester for long. After a heart-to-heart or some reassurance from you, he’ll quickly return to his usual positive and upbeat self. His desire to support you and be a reliable friend will override any lingering feelings of jealousy. “You know I’ve got your back no matter what, right? I’m always here for you,” he’ll say with his signature grin, even if the feelings of jealousy haven’t completely disappeared.

In the end, Mirio’s jealousy stems from a deep love and care for you. He’s afraid of losing the bond you share with him, and he worries that someone else might be able to offer you something he can’t. But his immense respect for you and his desire to make sure you’re happy will always push him to work through those feelings. With patience and understanding, Mirio will find a way to overcome his jealousy, using it as an opportunity to grow stronger and deepen his bond with you.

Denki Kaminari – Playful, but Heartfelt

Denki’s jealousy is a bit more lighthearted, but it still comes with a genuine undercurrent of insecurity. As the more laid-back and goofy member of Class 1-A, Denki tends to brush off things with humor, but when he sees someone getting too close to you, his playful nature gives way to his vulnerability.

He’ll try to make a joke about it at first, a nervous laugh escaping his lips as he says something like, “So, what? You just leave me for the other cool guy in the room?” He’ll try to smile, but the slight tension in his body language will reveal he’s trying to hide his discomfort.

When the other person doesn't back off or seems too engaged with you, Denki’s jealousy starts to show more clearly. He might suddenly interrupt the conversation with a joke or a playful remark, like, “Hey, you forgot your electric personality here, didn’t you?” His charm can’t mask the little bit of hurt in his eyes when he sees you giving attention to someone else.

If the person still doesn’t catch on, Denki might become a bit more dramatic, sulking just enough to make you notice. “I’m like, super fun, right? We could totally hang out! You know, before you go off with Mr. Cool over there.” He’ll pout for a moment, then try to shrug it off, but he can’t hide his feelings forever.

When you give him attention, he’ll be full of energy again, but there’s still a lingering hint of insecurity. “You know I’m your real best friend, right? I can keep up with all your awesome stuff,” he’ll say, trying to mask his feelings with a grin, but there’s a slight tenderness to his tone as he leans in for a side hug, clearly wanting to make sure that you’re his, even if he jokes about it.

Fumikage Tokoyami – Quietly Intense and Protective

Tokoyami is typically a stoic character, but underneath that calm, collected exterior, his feelings run deep. His jealousy isn’t loud or obvious—it’s more like the shadows he’s so attuned to, quiet but ever-present. He’ll keep his distance at first, silently observing as you laugh or chat with someone else, the weight of his jealousy creeping in as he watches you interact with them.

Tokoyami isn’t one to be overly dramatic, but he can become noticeably withdrawn. He’ll avert his gaze, choosing instead to focus on something else, though his sharp eyes are still keenly aware of the situation. You’ll notice his posture change, his usual stance becoming more rigid, his hands tense at his sides.

If the person doesn’t back off or doesn’t get the hint, Tokoyami will quietly intervene, perhaps by stepping between you and the other person without a word, his movements subtle but intentional. It’s not so much a direct confrontation as it is a shift in the atmosphere. The air grows heavier, and the other person will likely feel the change, sensing that Tokoyami doesn’t approve.

Once alone with you, Tokoyami’s protective instincts will come out more, though he won’t admit his jealousy outright. “I do not like when others get too close,” he might say in his low, calm voice, his eyes scanning yours for any sign of understanding. His words are careful, controlled, yet there’s a quiet, earnest truth behind them.

“I’m not fond of competition, you know,” he’ll add, a slight smirk tugging at his lips, though it’s not his usual grin. It’s a bit darker, more sincere.

If you offer reassurance, Tokoyami will soften, his stoic nature not quite able to fully hide his affection for you. He’ll take your words to heart, his pride keeping him from showing how much he values you, but there’s a faint glimmer of relief in his eyes.

Hanta Sero – Sarcastically Sweet and Subtly Possessive

Sero has a laid-back, easygoing personality, often the one cracking jokes and keeping things light. But when jealousy strikes, his usual relaxed vibe can slip, replaced by a more sarcastic, possessive edge. He’ll try to cover up his discomfort by making light of the situation, but it’s clear he doesn’t like seeing you give attention to someone else.

At first, Sero will throw in a teasing remark, like, “Oh, look at that. I guess I’m just not cool enough for you anymore, huh?” He’ll say it with a grin, but there’s an obvious bite to his words as he crosses his arms, watching the situation unfold with narrowed eyes. His jealousy isn’t explosive, but it’s definitely there, and it lingers like a low hum in the background.

If the person doesn’t take the hint or doesn’t seem to back off, Sero might get more direct, though still in a playful, slightly sarcastic manner. “Well, if I’m not enough for you, I guess I’ll just… go find someone who actually appreciates me,” he’ll say, though he’s clearly not going anywhere. His eyes are locked on you, a mix of irritation and longing. He’s not looking for someone else—he’s just making sure you know that he’s hurt.

Sero is rarely confrontational, so if the person still doesn’t pick up on his signals, he’ll probably just take matters into his own hands. He might casually put his arm around your shoulders or pull you close, making sure everyone knows that you’re already taken. “You’ve got everything you need right here, right?” he’ll ask, his voice light but with an undeniable possessiveness that he tries to mask with humor.

Later, when it’s just the two of you, Sero might seem unusually quiet. He’ll give you a cheeky grin and say something like, “Not gonna let anyone else steal you away from me, am I?” But if you catch him off guard, his true feelings will shine through. There’s a moment of vulnerability, and you might notice how much he values your attention, despite the playful banter.

“You’re mine,” he’ll say with a wink, but it’s softer than usual, showing how deeply he feels about you, even though he hides it behind humor.

Tomura Shigaraki – A Jealous Tyrant

Shigaraki doesn’t do "jealous" in the typical sense—he’s too ruthless, too controlling for that. But there’s one thing he can’t tolerate: someone else getting too close to you.

When it happens, there’s a dangerous shift in the air. The usual chaos around him seems to fade as his eyes lock onto the offending person. His fingers twitch, almost as though they’re itching for destruction.

When he notices you laughing or chatting with someone else, a dark sneer creeps across his face. “Don’t get too friendly,” he mutters to himself.

Shigaraki doesn’t intervene immediately—he enjoys watching the guy squirm, sensing the discomfort in the atmosphere that he’s creating. But when the person gets just a bit too bold, Shigaraki’s voice will break through with an icy, almost menacing tone: “You’ve had your fun. Now step off.”

He’ll slowly approach, a dangerous air around him, his fingers curling as if he’s imagining disintegrating them with a simple gesture. The other person, sensing the shift, will back away, unable to ignore the growing dread of Shigaraki’s presence.

Once alone with you, his demeanor shifts. He doesn’t ask for reassurances or beg for affection like the others. Instead, he’ll just stare at you, his eyes hard and calculating. “Don’t ever forget who you belong to,” he’ll mutter, not looking for an answer. Just a simple reminder.

If you’re the one to comfort him, however, Shigaraki’s face might soften for a brief moment—just enough for you to see the raw vulnerability beneath his villainous mask.

Dabi – Cold, Sarcastic Possession

Dabi’s jealousy is laced with sarcasm, anger, and a streak of possessiveness that he tries to keep hidden behind layers of cynicism. He doesn’t care—he doesn’t need to care—but when he sees someone else eyeing you, something about it grates on his nerves.

He’ll pretend not to care, leaning back and watching the situation unfold with a smirk on his face, but his eyes will betray him. Every flirtatious gesture or laugh you share with another person will make his smirk falter slightly, his cold blue eyes narrowing just enough to be noticeable.

If things escalate, you’ll catch him making a passive-aggressive remark, like, “I didn’t know you were so into annoying people,” or, “You sure you’re not just using me as a distraction?” His voice will be dripping with sarcasm, though the words are tinged with a sharp undercurrent of irritation.

When the guy doesn’t back off immediately, Dabi will growl, a flame flickering at his fingertips as he takes a slow step toward you. The temperature in the room rises, and the conversation quickly dies down.

"Back off," Dabi warns, his voice low and rough, his hands flicking open to release a burst of blue fire that just barely misses the person’s feet. They’ll stammer out an apology and leave in a hurry.

Later, when you’re alone with him, Dabi won’t directly address his jealousy. Instead, he’ll wrap his arm around your shoulders and pull you in close, mumbling, “Don’t need anyone else to keep you company, got me.”

His possessiveness is wrapped in a cloak of indifference, but his actions are clear: you’re his, and no one else gets to encroach on that territory.

Toga Himiko – Wildly Intense and Over-the-Top

Toga’s jealousy is explosive, and she doesn’t hide it in the least. She can go from adorably sweet to downright terrifying in a matter of seconds when she feels like someone’s getting too close to you.

Her jealousy is deeply tied to her obsessive nature—Toga doesn’t just like you; she wants everything about you. When she sees someone else flirting with you or making you laugh, she gets antsy, pacing around and clenching her fists. She’ll try to mask it with a bright, manic smile, but it’s obvious to anyone who knows her that her patience is wearing thin.

“Why is everyone always so interested in you?” she’ll huff, watching from the sidelines, her voice filled with faux cheer as she watches the situation unfold.

If the person doesn’t take the hint, Toga will casually stroll over, her movements erratic but playful. She’ll flash a bright, almost sickeningly sweet smile at them before jumping into the conversation, wrapping her arms around you from behind and practically smothering you with affection.

“Hey, babe, guess what? I found something super cool today!” she’ll exclaim, nuzzling her face into your neck in a possessive manner.

If the person still doesn’t back off, Toga’s demeanor shifts immediately. She’ll growl low in her throat, her playful exterior vanishing as she steps forward with a dangerous look in her eyes. “You’re mine,” she’ll say, almost in a whisper, her grip on you tightening. The person won’t need any more encouragement to retreat.

Later, when it’s just the two of you, Toga will seem strangely calm, but there’s a feral edge to her voice. “No one else is allowed to have you, Y/N. You’re mine, forever. Got it?” she’ll ask, her eyes wild, though there’s a tenderness in the way she pulls you close.

Twice – Self-Doubt and Dramatic Overreaction

Twice’s jealousy is a chaotic mess of emotions, partly because of his overwhelming self-doubt and partly because of his deep attachment to you. When someone else makes a move on you or gets too close, his reaction isn’t subtle in the slightest.

First, he’ll freeze, his mind racing. What if they like you more than I do? What if they can give you something I can’t? He’ll try to shake off these thoughts, but his body language gives him away. His eyes widen in panic, his hand gripping his mask as if that could shield him from the feeling of insecurity creeping in.

“Why are you talking to them? What’s so great about them?” he’ll blurt out, his voice high-pitched, almost a whine, as he steps in front of you, blocking the person’s view.

If the person doesn’t immediately back off, Twice will become more dramatic. He’ll practically throw himself in front of you, saying, “I’m way more fun! Come on, let’s go, I’ll show you!” His usual bubbly personality comes out, but the cracks are visible as he’s clearly trying to hide his anxiety.

Once the person leaves, Twice will start apologizing profusely. “I didn’t mean to be like that! I just… I just love you so much! I don’t want anyone else to take you away!” His eyes will be wide, filled with worry as he tries to cover up his emotional outburst.

“You’re mine, right? You won’t leave me, right?” he’ll ask quietly, his voice small and fragile, as he clings to you, needing reassurance.

Despite his chaotic response, his love for you is sincere, and in his own way, he just wants to feel like he’s enough.

Mr. Compress – Cool, Calculated, and Still Possessive

Mr. Compress is normally a smooth talker, calm and collected. But when someone else starts paying a little too much attention to you, his composure starts to slip, just a little.

His jealousy is subtle, a controlled burn that grows over time. He’ll maintain his charm, but there’s a glint in his eyes when he sees someone else laughing with you or standing too close. A brief flick of his hand, a flicker of irritation in his eyes.

He might step in casually, as if it’s no big deal, and say, “Well, well, seems like you two are getting along pretty well,” with a sly smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. He might make a playful comment, but it’s obvious he’s subtly marking his territory.

If the person doesn’t take the hint, he’ll take a more direct approach. Mr. Compress will make a swift move, pulling you into his side with an easy, practiced motion, his arm wrapping around you possessively. “You’re with me, darling,” he’ll say smoothly, his voice rich with authority.

Later, in private, Mr. Compress will keep up the cool exterior, but the subtle tension in his gaze will tell you he’s still processing. “You wouldn’t leave me for some foolish, naive fool, would you?” he’ll ask softly, a vulnerable edge in his voice, the only time you’ll see his cool façade crack.

Kai Chisaki (Overhaul) – Cold, Calculating, and Controlling

Kai Chisaki is a deeply calculating and meticulous character. He doesn’t deal with jealousy in the same way as the more emotionally expressive characters like Denki or Sero. His jealousy is a reflection of his obsessive need for control and his possessive nature over the things (and people) he values. For Chisaki, jealousy doesn’t manifest in dramatic outbursts—it’s a quiet, simmering resentment that builds over time.

At first, Chisaki would keep his feelings of jealousy hidden. He might observe from the sidelines, his sharp eyes watching every interaction between you and the other person with a cold, impassive expression. His mind, always working, would start calculating the ways in which the situation threatens his control over you. He would find your attention toward someone else as a sign of his failing influence, which would unsettle him greatly.

You might notice a subtle shift in his behavior. He won’t snap at the other person right away, but there will be a coldness in his demeanor whenever they are around. His gaze will harden, his voice might take on an edge when he speaks, and his usual calm, authoritative tone will carry a quiet, chilling tension.

If the other person gets too close to you, Chisaki will likely intervene in a subtle but forceful way. His sense of control doesn’t allow him to simply let things slide. He might make a remark to the other person, a sharp, pointed comment designed to drive them away. “You seem to misunderstand your place,” he might say coldly, his voice like ice as he makes his position known.

He’ll approach you with the same controlled manner he always has, but now there’s an extra weight to his words. “I don’t like seeing you with others,” he’ll say, his voice low and steady, though there’s an unmistakable possessiveness in his tone. His hand might rest on your shoulder or arm, a silent but firm way of claiming you, as if to say, you belong to me—and he’s not going to let anyone forget that.

If you try to shrug him off or ignore his behavior, Chisaki’s jealousy becomes more palpable, though he will never lose his composure. His frustration will be masked behind his stoic, almost emotionless expression, but his actions will become more controlling. He might give you less freedom or impose more of his will, showing his growing need to have you solely under his influence.

“I don’t like sharing what’s mine,” he’ll say with an unsettling calmness, a rare glimpse into his possessive nature. He may even try to isolate you from others, not because he can’t trust you, but because he can’t trust anyone else to have a place in your life.

When you’re alone together, Chisaki will be more direct, though still reserved. His voice will be low and calm, but there’s an intensity in his eyes that can’t be ignored. “You are mine, and I will not let anyone take you from me,” he’ll say, his words carrying a sense of finality. There’s no room for negotiation in his mind—his jealousy is tied to his obsessive need to keep you under his control.

Chisaki’s jealousy doesn’t erupt into fits of rage, nor does he show insecurity in the traditional sense. Instead, it’s a cold, calculated response that stems from his obsessive nature and his fear of losing control. If anyone dares to threaten his position, he will ensure that they learn their place—whether it’s through words, actions, or manipulation.

If you reassure him, it might ease his jealousy for the moment, but he will always be on guard, silently keeping track of everyone around you. “You’re mine. Don’t forget that,” he’ll say with an air of finality, his cold, calculating eyes locking onto yours, ensuring you understand the weight of his words.

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