#potentially leaving'' like that is what happened & not like anyone would clarify here's what we did; here's what we're now Not doing
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another specific scenario nice & simple like winston "isn't allowed to have a 'correct' cishet(tm) gender n sexuality anyways" "keeps immediately latching on to the nonbinariest people around him" billions goes yolo mode after going [just endlessly weather it at the sunk cost factory] firmly established itself as a shitshow and decides like i'm gonna hook up with a guy fr (has not already happened, in this specific scenario) and then does so, congrats to him. however, with all the precedent in the world, it's like here's your big anxiety about any autodidactic sex ed beforehand. here's your big anxiety about just general surveillance & malicious handling of it afterwards. no way anyone could have completely founded hangups about everything even further just indefinitely now. bonus points though he still goes to math meetup has real math friends over there who have Really provided the [yeah it's not actually a popularity contest here] arena & he's known them for years & let's say has at least One amicable person who talks with him out of it, maybe even two. congrats to him canonly for getting out of there, sure hurt him as much as they possibly could on his way out though, was legitimately the goal
#and no way could winston already have founded hangups abt anything to just be added to here. we would just Know if he did#(unserious remark there....)#speaking of ''it's basically like bitter exes clashing except they didn't even get to have the actual relationship(tm)''#winston gets to anytime; all the time; be on edge abt ''what if someone was intently stalking me re: what i'm doing or what info i'm#potentially leaving'' like that is what happened & not like anyone would clarify here's what we did; here's what we're now Not doing#or like that would feel (or in this case: be) trustworthy anyways#billions is all but certainly going ''oh he's fine lol. he has always just been fine lol.''#with the logic that he's fine b/c if we don't think it matters how he's affected (& we don't!) then the Reality is: it doesn't matter#dehumanize your local autist: a billions story#winston billions#and all the discussion like ''wags' Kys Data on winston is like [buy pants] [mundane handy lookups]'' like uh okay#but it's like As Though winston just could Never have looked up things So Wrong for correct cishets like ''am i gay? quiz?'' lmao#or as though wags wouldn't throw that kind of thing at someone. do we assume everyone else there would suddenly Disapprove if he did#winston evidently cast as AnyNerd in the whole saga while wags is lovingly cradled in billions' arms shh you're so epic#with any viewers who also don't get / decline the memo we're supposed to understand winston is less of a person going like Uh. What#doesn't add up with anything but aren't we all just having a delightful time w/wags as always
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I was thinking about those posts I sometimes see about dates being an equation (you know the ones), and was thinking, is there a year where that happens the least? maybe even one where it doesn't happen?
Well, I don't think I'd be qualified to cover every function that uses two inputs, and I would assume every function is quite a few and probably would cover every day
So, I'll be sticking to the basic 4,+,-,× and ÷, since that's what I see most common with those posts
First step is to get a list of all the dates (I should clarify, from the Gregorian calendar, since that's the most common dating system I see from those posts), which is pretty easy, just make it yourself! you know how the months work... right?
right?
Anyways, we have a list now! two, in fact, so we can put our days and months separately
Now, we just apply the functions and,
meh, could be prettier, now, we gotta consider that negative years don't exist yet, less so something like XX negative 19, so those extra spots below, gotta go
We also need to consider that years such as XX 100 would theoretically someday exist, but we're just gonna assume you're only looking at the last 2 digits, so, BEGONE!
And don't forget about the year XX 02.75, that was the best year... for all of us that used a different calendar system, so I'm going to need to ask you numbers to LEAVE!
And that should be all the house keeping we need to do, let's collapse em down
woooah, coolio, let's color them based on the group come from
preeeetty, someone should crochet that
Now, you may think "Hey, he left out my favourite day, [February 29th], How could he????!!!!!"
Well, 2+29=31, which can't be a leap year, 2-29 is negative, so no, not possible, 2/29 is a fraction, and 2*29=58, which is NOT a leap year
so, to anyone guessing dates that can never work, congrats, you won!
we can also see what years work with each function
with division ending the lowest, since all it does is decrease, we find the last date to be XX14, on 28th February, ironic. sorry y'all didn't notice it til it was too late.
for subtraction? the last date will be... 30th January 2029! Get your cakes (uh, funeral cakes?) ready for the last date possible for subtraction in.... 4 years time?!?! jesus, time flies, huh?
uhmm, for addition, we find the final day to be 30th December XX42! woa
and the multiplication goes til the end, being the year XX99, dated November 9th...... ANYWAYS
the year of most functional dates will be XX12 with the dates:
11th Jan (11+1=12), 12th Jan(12*1=12), 13th Jan(13-1=12),
6th Feb (6*2=12), 10th Feb (10+2=12), 14th Feb (14-2=12),
24th Feb (24/2=12), 4th March (4*3=12), 9th March (9+3=12),
15th March (15-3=12), 3rd April (3*4=12), 8th April (8+4=12),
16th April (16-4=12), 7th May (7+5=12), 17th May (17-5=12),
2nd June (2*6=12), 6th June (6+6=12), 18th June (18-6=12),
5th July (5+7=12), 19th July (19-7=12), 4th August (4+8=12),
20th August (20-8=12), 3rd September (3+9=12),
21st September (21-9=12), 2nd October (2+10=12),
22nd October (22-10=12), 1st November (1+11=12),
23rd November (23-11=12), 1st December (1*12=12),
and finally... 24th December (24-12=12)
awesome
the years with no days are all primes after XX43, since if it had any factors, it'd work for multiplication
except, I lied, XX58, XX62, XX74, XX82, XX86 and XX94 are all not prime, yet have 0 days, since they're divisible by 2 but the other factor is bigger than 30
except, I lied again, XX58 is actually the only one with a potentially real day, being february 29, as we mentioned earlier.
"BUT WAIT, WHAT ABOUT m/d/y? WHAT ABOUT THE AMERICAN SYSTEM?!?!"
hghhghghg
graaaaah, the division section barely exists
woah, separation, around the x=y line too, with the same shape no less
except, BOOM, i lied to you, AGAIN.
you see, this shape is actually skinner than the original one
you actually only lose potential dates by switching to the other system, and here's how many you lose
The years that lose the most are XX13, XX14, XX15 with 13 missing days, and we'll reach a consensus for amount of days working with math in XX32! the perfect number to end on
but also, this system gives us our earliest year ending with a multiplicative date, being 1st December XX12 (XX12 was a great year for functions, huh)
So, when's the next functional date? well, we missed 13th November, so mark your calendars for 12th December!!
So, what did we learn?
Well, I mean, I guess you can brag about knowing when the next date that's a math equation.
and also the tragedy that is 29th February XX58...
Suggest other calendar systems, and I'll look into them!
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A few more OGL updates:
The important takeaways here are:
WoTC has said they will have a comment period in which they will take survey responses lasting no fewer than two weeks after the OGL is officially made available for comment, prior to or on this coming Friday, January 20, 2023. (I would encourage using this; please note that when you send the equivalent of anon hate to companies, they assume you are not a potential customer but rather a foaming-at-the-mouth weirdo and will disregard what you have to say. I mean, you can do what you want, and I can't guarantee what will happen as I do not work for WoTC in any capacity, but I have worked customer service, and the screaming haters get ignored as being nutjobs. You know what talks loudest is, of course, canceled subscriptions if you're still unhappy.)
This clarifies a lot of things that were never up for the chopping block, but which were frequently mentioned in rumors, which I think is good to have. Namely: actual play, things like minis/maps, and contracted D&D-related work are not under the OGL anyway and never were, and can continue; anyone still bringing those up is actively fearmongering and can be ignored.
Material published under the OGL 1.0a is still fine as is; this only applies going forward. It is not revoked for past materials.
VTTs are unaffected; see point 2 re: people still bringing them up.
Most crucially, there will be no registration or royalties, nor ownership of material made under the OGL. This was I think the most worrying part.
Obviously, this is a statement and not the draft, so if the draft lacks these provisions, give 'em (polite but firm) hell, unsubscribe, etc.
A couple of other things to note just in general:
Mark Hulmes has a really thoughtful video about everything (made prior to this last announcement) that I highly recommend skimming through at the very least; I think he covers the personal/emotional aspects a lot of players and actual players may be experiencing.
Never be afraid to ask people for sources for non-anecdotal information. If they can't provide them, consider what that says about their information.
I think a lot of the things other companies have promised - either new licenses for their materials, or new systems - sound great! They are also, at this time, unpublished. Do be aware and skeptical when people are giving them endless benefit of the doubt as saviors of the TTRPG. They may be as good as they sound! They also might never materialize; or they might be inexpensive and great for players (who are willing to leave D&D, anyway) but will leave small 3rd party publishers high and dry. SRDs simply aren't feasible for smaller publishers, who rely on the income from every purchase. If you've said you're concerned for 3rd party publishers, why not put your money where your mouth is and buy some OGL 1.0a-based materials?
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A Note On LOVESTARVED's Warnings/Triggers
(sound on to hear voice acting :3)
Okay, so maybe more like a ramble than a note, but still x3
I'm probably just being paranoid here, but I wanted to mention a side note on the warnings & triggers for LOVESTARVED because I worry somewhat that they make the content sound much worse than it actually is >.<
I mainly just wanted to say that while the story does contain horror elements within the romance, it is still, at its heart, romance.
Yes, it's kinda twisted and a little messed up, but it's still a love story that's got plenty of cute and cosy moments too x3
Heck, when I was trying to describe the atmosphere I was aiming for to @lazypolarbearart so that we could be on the same page with the writing and the art, I said to her that it was supposed to be cosy and kind of incubating. Like you're stuck somewhere dark, but you're almost not worried about it because it's like being trapped in a big warm bubble that you don't really want to leave because it's comforting and less scary than what's outside, haha.
I always have this fear that maybe that side of things doesn't come across very well in my announcement posts or the itch pages of the games that I make >.<
If I'm being completely honest, I don't really know how to strike the right sort of balance between warning people about potentially sensitive content VS accidentally spoiling things + talking about horror-related content VS romantic content when both intermingle in the same project + just generally being caught between saying too much or holding stuff back. Everything seems so blurry and messy to me :( Like it's all one giant grey area, but no matter what I do to try and clarify things, it will be detrimental somehow.
For example, in the LOVESTARVED demo (and eventually the full game) it's possible to romance Erys in a way that avoids any horror-type scenes even happening! Things can be super sweet with the yandere traits appearing soft... or seriously screwed up with things being much darker. It all depends on the player's choices, and the mildly sexual content that's in there is completely avoidable.
(sorry, I couldn't resist x3)
That's what's so great about visual novels as a genre :D Your choices can change so much about what happens throughout the course of a story :3
It's just I struggle to know how to describe my games while keeping potential players safe and not putting people off x3
Content warnings should absolutely be there so that people can make an informed decision about whether or not to play, but my big worry is that they make things sound scarier than they are. It's like expecting something awful to happen & for things to be grim before even having a chance to form an opinion if you read through the big list of warnings >.<
I feel like that creates a double problem because: A - If you're a horror fan and actually looking for creepy content, the warnings might sort of oversell stuff in a sense, leaving you somewhat disappointed that half of the things listed were only briefly featured. Or if you decided not to read the warnings because you're confident you'd be fine, you might wonder afterwards why there was such a long list there in the first place.
B - If you're worried about 1 or 2 specific things but are generally fine with horror-related aspects, you might avoid something unnecessarily because it sounds so much worse on paper than it is in reality.
It's not a completely unfounded fear either, as I've had players say to me in the past that X game looks cool, but they read the warnings, and have decided not to play that particular one because it sounds too scary (The Hostage & Dawn of the Damned are the ones I seem to get that with most!), but then they've later changed their mind, decided to check out the game, and then told me that it wasn't anywhere near as bad as they were expecting it to be and they enjoyed it in the end :3
I would never want to end up accidentally hurting anyone with the stories I put out there in the wild >.< It's important that people are able to make decisions that can keep themselves safe. But it saddens me that sometimes having so many content warnings on horror-related romance projects can make them seem so much worse than they are.
Anyways, I'm probably overthinking things as usual x3 My stupid brain is messed up right now from the lack of sleep during the jam, but it's gone all hyper instead of calming the heck down >.>
I don't know if anyone will read this or understand where I'm coming from x3 but I just felt like I needed to get it off my chest because it's been bothering me every time I release a new game with a love interest that has yandere traits, haha.
I personally don't think any of my games are particularly scary! And in most of them that feature romance with a yandere LI, things are coming from a place of genuine love. It may be darker, deeper, more intense love… possibly not even the healthiest kind, depending on the character in question >.< but it's love nonetheless.
I just wish there was a better way to show that than I currently know how because right now, I'm concerned that some of my games look like horror games with nothing sweet in-store when really, a lot of them are more like romance games wearing a creepy Halloween costume x3
Feel free to poke me if you have any ideas/experience/thoughts on how to tackle this sorta stuff :3
#visual novel#indie dev#indie game#triggers#yandere#yandere visual novel#yandere vn#tw yandere#soft yandere#lovestarved#horror games#romance game#rambles#ramblings#i dunno
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Guys this is the last Echo's Essay until next season 😭😭😭 Thanks for being here with me, I really appreciate it. That being said, this might just be the longest one yet lmao. Buckle up and I'll just go with what's off the top of my head.
First, I FUCKING CALLED THE ASSHOLE CAPTAIN COMING BACK AND TAKING BOBBYS PLACE!!!!
It made sense, because why have his actor be at the ceremony, AND HAVE A SPEAKING ROLE, unless he was gonna come back in some way?
Also I know Bobby put in his 2 week notice and didn't tell anyone but Athena, but then the whole chasing Amir down and saving his life again as a way to make amends and dealing with the cartel, it's easy to see how he forgot to tell the chief he changed his mind.
Speaking of Athena and Amir, WHY THE FUCK DID THE WRITERS MAKE HER SO HELLBENT ON GOING AFTER HIM ALONE, CONVINCED HE WAS THE ONE WHO SET THE FIRE??? Athena's always been by the book save for a couple instances, but she's always tried to make sure those guilty would be punished by the system. I get that she was emotional about potentially losing Bobby, but calling Maddie and lying to her so she could get Amir's address, going back to her house to get her gun, and then breaking into his house so she can hold him at gunpoint???? Guys come on.
I mean, I guess I could've accepted it if she didn't get her gun and make it seem like she was going to kill him even though we already knew she wasn't. Also the breaking and entering left a bad taste in my mouth, especially since she clarified she was off duty. If you have suspicions of him being guilty, get a warrant for his arrest and bring him in for questioning! They even highlighted how out of character Athena was acting by bringing up Emmett and what she did with the guy who killed him. And to top it off, while she was holding Amir at gunpoint, she was throwing accusations at him, saying he was a bad person, how she should've seen the signs, and how Bobby gave him too much credit, and reminding him of his past with the picture of him and his wife, BRO WHAT THE FUCK
Put yourself in Amir's shoes real quick: you survived a fire that permanently scarred you and took your wife, you decide to become a doctor so you can help people like you wish you could've helped your wife. One day while you're working, a firefighter comes in to reunite one of your patients with their baby and you recognize their last name, and looking into it, realize he's the guy who caused the fire that changed your life. You decide to see how his life has changed since the fire so you go to his AA meeting where you hear him talking about how good his life has been and that makes you upset so you speak up. You leave afterwards not wanting anything else to do with this man and go back to helping people, getting shot in the process. The man then shows up, having found you in the middle of nowhere, trying to help and apologize for what happened in the past. You tell him you don't want his apology and that he should leave you for dead, but he persists and ends up saving your life. After that, while you still don't want to deal with him, you at least tolerate him and go back to helping people.
One day you get a call from work saying one of your patients needs you. So you go into work, and it turns out the guy who caused the fire and changed your life has a wife who lied to get you to go there. You two have a talk and she tells you ever since her husband met you again, his life has been unbalanced and she thinks talking to you again is going to help that. You're weary but you agree to help. When you get there, you see the guy remarried to a beautiful woman, lives in a beautiful home, and has pictures of their kids and happy memories all around. This makes you so upset/jealous that you apologize and rush to leave only to be face to face with this man and it's too much. You tell him if he really wants to make amends, he and his wife should leave you alone, and then you leave so you won't have to experience those emotions again.
You slowly calm down and go back to your life, helping all the people you can. You're coming home, just picked up some dry cleaning, and then the guys wife is in your house, falsely accusing you of setting their house on fire and almost killing her husband, all while pointing a gun at you, saying horrible things about you, and tormenting you with your painful past.
WHAT THE FUCK GUYS???
Amir, I am so sorry you had to deal with that, and as much as I love Bobby and Athena, THEY NEED TO LEAVE YOU THE FUCK ALONE!!!!!! I love the mini friendship he and Maddie had, but please keep Bobby and Athena a million miles away from him and let him live his life!!!!
Honestly, Amir is a better person that I am because even after all of that, he still went into a burnt up house to look for Bobby and assure him that he deserves the new life he built for himself. That even though he'll never forgive the past, he at least respects where he is in the present...
Anyway -2 points for how Athena was acting with Amir.
Next up we have the Eddie and Christopher thing. While I'm sad that they're letting him leave to Texas with his grandparents, which I was so shocked about when they were at the door, I'm also glad that Eddie respects Chris's boundaries and wishes. He called Buck begging him to talk to Chris, and when he emphasized that he didn't want to break down the door to get to him, he wanted Chris to open the door to talk to him 👏👏👏👏👏 Fucking beautiful.
Also Buck, bless your heart, trying to help Christopher by inputting your own experiences with your own parents. It was sweet, but it took me out of the episode a bit with the whole "parents can make mistakes" because while that's true, comparing Eddie with Bucks parents felt wrong. Eddie has always been overprotective of Christopher but was always loving and caring and trying to make sure he had a normal life, and made one big mistake because of unresolved issues that he needs to go to therapy for. Bucks parents were just horrible people. Simple as that, sorry not sorry.
I will say though, after Eddie's whole "I don't want to force him to do anything" thing, and then when he says I love you but Christopher wouldn't look at him and he makes him look at him, I was a little put off. He was just saying he didn't want to force him to do anything and then he's forcing him to look at him when he didn't want to? What the heck? It's alright though, Eddie's speech afterwards made up for it so it gets a pass.
Speaking of passes, can we please be done with Marisol NoLastName now? I know she wasn't in this episode but we last saw her when she and Christopher walked in on Eddie hugging a woman who looked like his dead wife, can that please be the last time? I'm tired of her being brought up.
And speaking of people in the episode who I'm tired of being brought up, when are we getting rid of Tommy? I had exactly 2 posts talking about him during my liveblogging and neither of them were good. I've been very vocal about my dislike of Tommy, but he was so unnecessary this episode??? They were having a sincere talk about how Buck was worried about the fact that he almost lost Bobby, and that he was like the father he never had, talking about how they both had horrible dads, but Tommy denies having daddy issues himself and when asked if he thinks Buck has daddy issues, Tommy goes "I hope so"
?????
Oh yeah baby, I hope your father seriously neglected you so you have issues regarding him and male figures in general, along with having anxiety, abandonment issues, and toxic patterns so you'll be able to call me "Daddy" while we have sex!
It's a season finale. That was unnecessary. The audience didn't need to know right then and there that Tommy has a Daddy Kink. -2 points.
I know it's only one scene but I my hatred of it was strong enough to deduct an extra point.
🤮
ANYWAY TIME FOR A PALLET CLEANSER WITH MADDIE AND CHIMNEY FOSTERING MARA FOR KAREN AND HEN!!!!!! 💖😍💖😍💖😍😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍😍💖
Holy fuck I fucking love the Buckley-Hans. I thought they couldn't get any better AND THEN THEY DID!!!!! And honestly, that's on me for underestimating how amazing they are 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 It was miserable seeing Hen visit Mara and her having reverted back to being quiet for a bit before asking if she could go home with her and then the lady and security making Hen leave 😭😭😭😭😭 Again, fuck that councilwoman. I hope she gets her teeth kicked in and her face bashed with a rock. Thank FUCK for loopholes!!! Maddie and Chim heard their friends were having a problem, and without even being asked, they immediately went to see what they could do to help!!! They are fucking amazing. The Buckley-Hans invented love. I have nothing else to say 🥰💖🥰💖💖🥰💖🥰💖🥰💖🥰💖🥰
...is that everything? I think that's everything.
Final rating: 6/10
Thanks for sticking with me through this and I'll see y'all again next season! Tchau! 😘✨
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Chapter 9: Back to School
Early post!~ Here you guys go! Also, be prepared for spooky times in the next chapter! Special guests are back too!
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*The next morning, I walk Stephen to the university’s library on my way to my position at the biology lab.*
Me: Text me and/or the others if you need anything, okay?
Stephen: Got it.
*I nod and leave for the day. Meanwhile, Stephen logs into the library computer system and starts looking around. He also peruses the library’s various collections of occult books from the mythology and religion sections. Whenever he finds a promising piece, he takes a picture of the passage on his phone to try later when we get back to the house. Out of curiosity and thanks to having been a superhero for years, Stephen also signs his phone up for on-campus safety alerts to get notifications in case anything dangerous happens. After a few hours, he’s getting frustrated about lack of progress again. So, he decides to message the group to ask if anyone has found anything else that might be useful.*
Stephen (text to the group): Hi, it’s Doctor Strange. Research progress has been slow. Has anyone found anything else?
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Trix: (via text) Hiiii! I haven’t found anything specific in particular but I’ve been trying to think of it from a different angle.
Stephen (via text): How so? Would you care to elaborate?
Trix (text): Just to clarify, your magic is powered by you siphoning dimensional energy, correct?
Stephen: Correct. Though I strongly suspect that the dimensions I siphon energy from need to have magical energy present.
Trix: Yeah, that’s why I’m trying to think of it from another angle. I think it’s kinda like trying to use a US electrical plug in a UK outlet. The electricity is there, you just can’t access it like you could at home. We just gotta find you a power converter.
Stephen: …An interesting approach. This may be plausible. The question is how to find it and use it properly.
Trix: True. I’m trying to wrack my brain for ideas. Other idea is (loathe as I am to use even a version of one) is trying to create a magic ouija board but only to gather enough energy. I don’t know about how using magic feels but you’re familiar with how things feel at home. Being able to feel out energies could be a starting point.
Stephen: I attempted some detection spells earlier in this universe and didn’t pick up any magical signatures. Though perhaps there’s a type of magic here that differs from my usual fare and it eludes detection from those in my universe. However, it seems unlikely. I’ll have to think about what you’ve said. You do present some interesting ideas.
Trix: Glad to help! :) I probably have the least amount of technical knowledge on what your universe is like based on our media in this universe (since I only watch the movies) but my whole schtick is trying to bend the rules a bit and poke at things to make them tick. Hopefully this comes in handy!
Stephen: An adaptable style of thinking. Promising. Thank you, Trix.
Trix: Glad to help in whatever way I can! :D Also lemme know if you need anything non-magical as well!
Stephen: I appreciate the offer.
Trix: Alrighty! I’m off to procrastinate actually cleaning my place by reading! Good luck!
Stephen: I’m off to continue my research, then. Bye for now.
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Tear (text): Oh, neat! You got a new phone. This should make things easier. Is there anything in specific you’ve been researching?
Stephen (text): I’ve been examining your universe’s occult practices. There is a rich mythology, but anything potentially functional has been few and far between. I’ve not detected any magical energies here, but Trix suggests that I approach from a different angle and attempt to discern an alternative dimensional siphoning method to channel mystical energy. Have you any additional suggestions?
Tear (text): Hmm, that sounds like a promising idea, actually. I’m not much of a believer in anything, but most myths, folklore, and belief systems must originate from something real–right? It’s how we get stories about dragons and ghosts from all across the world and at different time periods. Maybe some people learned to tap into those energies through time…or what did you call it? Siphoning? Look at Chichen Itzá or Rapa Nui. Heck, the city of York is said to have over 400 ghosts. If you physically visited such a place, would you be able to decipher the energies that linger there? It might not be magic, but…you might find your alternative method that way?
*Stephen realizes that he Dm’ed people and quickly makes a group chat.*
Stephen (text): Hold that thought…
*Everyone gets a group text with the conversation.*
Stephen: My apologies. Everyone here?
Trix: :D
Me: Hi.
Tear: Hello there~
Stephen: Continuing on with Tear’s answer, perhaps there may be something to it. I shall endeavor to use Trix’s “adapter” idea and apply it to some anomalous locations here. Does anyone know of a place?
Me: We’ll talk after work. Need to finish tissue dissection.
Stephen: Ok.
Trix: For some reason one of the first places that jumps out at me is the Winchester House. There’s enough weirdness there that might help
Tear: Old graveyards almost never fail in this sort of spook factor. Bonus points if it’s got a church Grim.
Stephen: Those are more typical to Western Europe. However, I would have to look to see how far some of the US-based locations may be here.
Trix: New England, Virginia, and Pennsylvania are haunted af.
Me: Look up “Whaley House”.
Trix: I’m nominating going to Salem, Mass because if anyone has creepy graveyards it’s going to be them. They’re proud of it.
Stephen: I’ll look and see what the closest location is. Thank you for the suggestions.
Tear: Of course. Just…don’t end up getting attacked by any ghosts…or demons…or deities… Hey! Are deities magic? Is there any way we can tell if Asgard exists in our dimension? Earth is always Midgard or at least that’s what I understand. Thor has never made an appearance here, but people in Norway say there’s been sightings of Odin before. Would praying to them for help work?
Stephen: Some deities inherently are. Most of them use some form of magic, at the very least. Others use alien or advanced technology beyond our knowledge. As for detecting a version of Asgard, I have not done this, but I HAVE tracked beings from there. I would need a sample of something of theirs to do it. Prayers…Depending on the entity or deity, they could work. Provided the gods here actually get involved with their subjects. I know that in some dimensions, the gods prefer to keep their distance.
Tear: Great. Fun times for me to be an atheist, ugh. I guess we can’t really know if the Asgardians would be willing to help even if they do exist in our universe. We don’t have the Avengers and we haven’t fought any wars together, so I doubt they would care much about our problems now…
Stephen: This is not encouraging news…
*A few minutes later*
Me: …Okay. A couple of hours away, there’s an abandoned ghost town with a large silver mining complex. There was a collapse back in the 1870’s that buried 30 Chinese miners alive. Their bodies were never recovered. To top it off, the murder rate in the town was 1 per week at its peak. It was all left empty in the 1950’s. The mine itself is an underground labyrinth with a depth of at least 1000 feet. So, this place is fairly close and promising in terms of potential hauntings. Plenty of tragedy there. Think there might be some usable energy?
Stephen: It’s worth investigating.
Me: I’ll ask my friend Hank to take us there. He knows the caretaker and we need multiple people to help operate the main lift to get inside. Who’s coming with?
Trix: Well that sounds terrifying. I guess I’m in.
Tear: I’ll need to make sure the bakery is stocked with ingredients and up-to-date with everything before we leave, but I should be able to spare some time to make sure you don’t get yourselves killed.
Stephen: Be sure to bring safety equipment if you’re going. Hard hats, flashlights, back-up batteries, work boots, dust masks, gas detectors, etc. Are all of you updated on your tetanus shots?
Me: I have climbing ropes rated strong enough to carry multiple people from back when I did rock climbing. Plus, a couple of spare hard hats. Also got a couple of headlamps and a camelbak that holds 2 liters of water. I’ll bring that, batteries, my steel-toed boots, and some dust masks. Tetanus shot’s up to date.
Tear: I’d say I’m safe with my shots too. Google says booster shots are every 10 years, and Google never lies... I can bring food! Everyone knows it is impossible to go on adventures on an empty stomach. I have a few spare batteries too, and some electric lanterns. Oh! I’ll bring spare clothes and a blanket in case the mines run too deep underground and we get too cold or wet. Can’t help with the gas detectors though, unless you want me to stuff a canary in a cage and hope for the best.
Trix: O____o Yes on the shot but I have my phone with a flashlight.
Me: I’ll bring my spares so you have proper gear. Also, will do a quick hardware store run after work for a gas detector. Oh! Does anyone have glow sticks? Otherwise, I’ll buy some. They’ll light our way back out. FYI, in case someone else has to go down after us, I’m putting them on our left hand side going down. That way, when we go up, they’ll be on our right hand side.
Tear: Please do buy more glow sticks! I have very few left over from the last garden party my family had. We’ll pitch in later to help you pay for the equipment. -sends gif of two saluting soldiers-
Trix: -inserts gif of sinking with the ship-
Me: Will do! I’ll buy extra so all of us has a small bag full. That way, no mistakes and no fumbling in the dark.
Stephen: All right. Everyone agreed on this? Nobody’s forcing you and we want to proceed with caution. Mines are dangerous. So, this is optional and I don’t want anybody down there unnecessarily.
Me: Hank knows the caretaker. So, he’s our way in. I’m familiar with the town and mine’s history. Trix can either go down with us or help Hank operate the lift. Tear’s bringing food/supplies and will help us with the safety equipment. Sound fair?
Tear: Sounds as good as it’s gonna get, I guess. Mission parameters: Meet some ghosts, do not join them.
Trix: I volunteer as tribute to stay topside because I would absolutely be a hindrance down there .
Stephen: Okay. You and Hank will get us down the shaft and back out when we need it.
Me: Got it. Unless there’s a closer/safer location, this is the plan. We’ll be enacting it tomorrow.
Stephen: I’ll make sure my magic still works enough to help us if we need it.
Me: Roger. I’m going to finish up my shift, then. Meet you guys in my driveway tomorrow at 8 am so we can get an early start. We don’t want to get trapped up the dirt mountain road to the ghost town at night when we drive back home.
Tear: We really don’t. Also, let us know if there’s anything specific we need to do if we do encounter any odd beings down there, Stephen. I really don’t want to be carrying any ghosts back with us to our houses.
Stephen: I’ll deal with any of that. The important thing is that anything malevolent feeds off of negative energy, including emotions and traumatic memories. If we encounter anything like that, you need to clear your mind and focus on counting your breaths instead of whatever it’s doing. Don’t feed it. Beyond that, they’re usually bound to a place or being with the right kind of energy. I haven’t detected anything around here. So, there’s nothing for them. Understand?
Me: Got it.
Tear: Alright, I can bring my portable speakers too and just blast them with some Disney tunes if it comes down to it. All negative energies will poof away if we hakuna matata their sheeps. …Dang it, autocorrect.
Me: HA! Nice!
*After our shifts end, I head to the hardware store and pick up the gas detector and 6 bulk packs of 30 glowsticks each. Thankfully, I got the ones that last 12 hours each once cracked. So, each of us will have 60 glowsticks per person to be safe. I also make sure my climbing harnesses, ropes, boots, cleats, bolts, and other safety gear is in good shape. This includes some chalk, helmets, some emergency whistles, my multitools, and a first-aid kit. The night passes without incident.*
***To be continued***
#doctor strange meta fic#doctor strange fanfiction#multi author#doctor strange#dr stephen strange#stephen strange#doctor stephen strange
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I think what makes Kirby lore so unique(besides presentation) is how it’s built on over time, but not in any clear-cut pattern that you can figure out and predict. It keeps itself vague and open ended enough to allow for creativity, and leaves room for information to be added later. Importantly, it does that without feeling like new stuff exists just to continue the old.
Nova is a good example of how this kind of thing happens from start to current times. Nova starts out as just a powerful mechanical being that exists in space and grants wishes, but we know nothing else about them. KSSU came along and left the potential for some connection between them and Galacta Knight, a mysterious, powerful warrior who sealed away out of fear and is accompanied a visual implication that they were violent/destructive. Return to Dreamland comes out and has obscure dialogue from Magolor that confirms there are more of the type of being Nova is, referring to them as clockwork stars, and reveals they(and the Lor, who is maaaybe sentient but who knooooows*) were made by a mysterious group known just as the Ancients. Galacta Knight also makes an unexplained return here which is never explained, and there’s concept art of funny egg who would never lie to anyone that just straight up namedrops Christianity, “but surely that won’t be important beyond the directly stated symbolism of yellow = betrayal” thought everyone including me.
Years later, seemingly out of nowhere, Planet Robobot just straight up introduces another clockwork star in the form of Star Dream(or the Access Ark if you’re like me and see them as semi-separate entities), confirming the previous information and giving the concrete possibility that Nova was also sapient(in case the very obviously shocked expression they give when Meta Knight makes his wish wasn’t enough indication), and also oh hey everyone’s favorite magenta murder orb is back because Star Dream fucked around and found out! Star Allies goes on to elaborate a bit on those Ancients and Galacta Knight, with the reveal that the Ancients likely consisted of multiple different people groups and one might have banished another. There’s side material that heavily implies GK was a hero that casts doubt on the previous idea that they were sealed for purely defensive reasons(but we aren’t telling you for sure), the funny boat from RtD may or may not have connections to some place called Paradise(but we’re not telling you for sure), and Kirby has some connection to an ancient godlike entity of destruction(but we’re not telling you what it is). Return to Dreamland Deluxe becomes a thing and clarifies that yes the boat is sentient actually who would’ve thought*, but we’re not gonna elaborate on what she’s like at all, also hey remember that Magolor concept art with yellow in it, yeah we’re leaning into the biblical symbolism now check out this cool tree that people on the internet will definitely be normal about.
*I did the whole time and will never stop pointing and laughing maniacally at everyone who ever gave me shit for it
What makes it so fun is that all of these connections are super easy to miss out on, or at the very least it all lacks the same impact if you don’t have some idea of previous information. Star Dream/Access Ark would probably just come off as weird and nonsensical to someone who played Robobot with no knowledge of Super Star. Lor = Paradise is just a word translation if you don’t know about the boat, and Galacta Knight is kinda just A Guy Who Exists Apparently without KSSU. Maybe you played KSSU before Robobot, though, so you can point and go “oh hey the evil computer is actually like that weird cat clock from before!” “wadda hell GK back????” and appreciate the callbacks, but otherwise not see a huge amount of significance. If you played KSS(U) and RtD with attention to detail, you could infer that these people called the ancients built the weird cat clock as well as a magical boat. If you played all four games(KSS(U), KRTD, KPR, KSA) and payed close attention to the connections between them, you can have fun with the fact that a group called the Ancients created multiple sentient machines capable of bending reality to varying degrees, the sentient boat has implied ties to Paradise while the two clocks interacted with a possibly ex-hero(even possibly wrongfully imprisoned hero) the Ancients wanted to get rid of for one reason or another, and we don’t know where these people went or what else they were capable of or who else they’ve impacted one way or another.
And you never know what’s gonna be elaborated on next! If the lil butterfly that showed up a few times was revealed to be the fuckin grim reaper essentially, what else is gonna gain entirely new implications? Given the existence of Void Termina and their ties to Dark Matter, will we finally get more information about what their whole situation was? Also the powerful orbs?
On a related note, I feel like this is a reason why Forgotten Land didn’t really hit for me in the long run(though far from the biggest reason but I’m still trying to move past that whole situation). It’s a good game, but feels disconnected from everything else in a lot of ways. Sure, you have callbacks in the form of a couple songs, stage design reminiscent of Kirby 64, and Morpho Knight, but that stuff’s just kinda… hollow. There’s not much of a thread between it any everything else, nothing that was built on previously established information or that hints at possible connections to be drawn. It doesn’t even take place in the same world. I guess it’s like, I dunno… The only reason it has any relation to Kirby is because Kirby and co got dragged through a random portal at the beginning. Other than a line of dialogue that has a million different potential valid interpretations that include some involving Dreamland, there’s nothing else concrete. It isn’t like the Mirror World or Halcandra, which are different worlds yet have established relevance to the series as a whole. It isn’t the same as places like Patchland or Seventopia, which, sure, weren’t super connected, but also weren’t exactly in games hyped up to be significant for the series and have way better character designs overall imo but thats just my humble onion. It literally feels more like a game that was its own thing turned Kirby game than Epic Yarn, which was literally its own thing that was turned into a Kirby game later.
I dunno how to end this off I just got thinking and wanted to spit my thoughts out before they disappeared into the void. I wonder how that anon who called The Claykken a dilf is doing these days, I bet they would love Splatoon
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Okay, so hello!! Hope everything is good with you!! Sending this through inbox just because I plan on giving you something in return. I'm thinking maybe a shufflemancy reading with a few poems / quotes to answer your question? I just love shufflemancy so much lmao. Is it okay then if I ask two questions? If not, I understand. But if it *is* okay, I was wondering if I could ask:
Is there any romantic potential between me (S, she/her) and my crush (AF, he/him)? We haven't talked much since the pandemic, but we had a good thing going and I'm wondering if a romantic relationship is in the cards for us / possible at all as of right now.
If there is a romantic potential between me and AF, can I have some advice on how to approach the situation to ensure that it does happen (basically how to reel him in)? Your girl has absolutely NO game lmao, I kind of need all of the help that you are willing to give, haha. I think I have an inkling of what I need to do, but I feel like a reading would help clear things up.
This is really kind of the last time that I want to ask a question about our relationship, so I figured I might as well go all out, right? I promise this isn't one of those delusional "no-contact" crushes, I actually had contact with this dude before an abrupt separation, and we were getting along so swimmingly :( I'm just clarifying because of your "no third parties' rule".
Thank you so much for your time + dedication! If you choose to respond to my ask (you don't have to of course, you always have the choice!) I'll get back to you as soon as possible with a time estimate on how long the shufflemancy + poem / quote reading is going to take. I am also fine with you asking more than one question for your reading :) Hope your day is GREAT!
Also, I have to add that I love this Pokémon infused tarot reading, it's really original and lowkey nostalgic.
Hey! thanks for participating. Since I took so long, it's not required for you to do anything in return but if you'd like to, feel free to message me! apologies if this question is answered too late.
For your first question, your pokemon is: Jellicent
At first, I felt a very nostalgic feeling from this pokemon, it gives cream puff vibes, something sweet, nostalgic, & tasty (I've never had a cream puff so don't @ me). For you, you got the female version of this pokemon but there is a male version as well, and both of their descriptions are equally creepy and sinister? Like two peas in a pod. Maybe you both are toxic in some way and fit together perfectly, but it might not be good in the long-run, being toxic to each other, or when you're together, being toxic to everyone else. It feels like there are some good factors here, but someone will probably end up suffering in some way. Overall, I am seeing you guys having some sort of compatibility, whether that be romantic, familiar (chosen family), or friendship-wise.
For your second question, your pokemon is: Meltan
This is a very weird pokemon for this question, but I think overall you need to be yourself. There is already some compatibility, you know this, now all you have to do is just look inwards and find the confidence to make things happen or drop some hints! The other way is to try and subtly attract him, like be magnetic (this pokemon's ability is magnet pull so quite literally!) but I never suggest anyone to be subtle because lots of people don't get subtle hints (me included oof). Just be yourself, know yourself, and know your person! Do what you know will bring him in.
Thanks for participating! feel free to leave feedback in my ask box.
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wasn’t gonna respond to comments/rbs on here since it’s usually pointless but I want to try and clarify for my followers what exactly I meant since it seems several people misunderstood this post entirely and as an autist one of my worst nightmares is being misunderstood so here goes — trying to explain again, hopefully with more clarity this time.
this post was about me using fandom references to say that I don’t want to harm people unintentionally because I’m being selfish or ignorant of their needs, wants, and personhood. This post is NOT about wanting to intentionally be a cunt to people at any time I feel like it and excusing that behaviour or thinking it’s okay (that’s Calico Jack, folks).
What I was trying to say (apparently inarticulately) was that *in the event that I’m being a cunt to someone* I want it be because I’m choosing to be a cunt on purpose, with my eyes wide open, in a situation where I know what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. Like I will choose to be a cunt to TERFs and Nazis all fucking day long & be very intentional about it.
What I *don’t* want is to be acting without regard for other people or their feelings and leaving a trail of hurt people in my wake, only to discover that hurt in hindsight when someone brings it to my attention because I was being *that* oblivious to their wants/needs/feelings/personhood.
Tbh my main issue with Stede is that I see a lot of the things I don’t like about myself in him, especially when I was in my teens/twenties and often oblivious to others’ feelings and/or not paying attention to how my actions were impacting others. So since I’ve been working on owning and recognising that over the past decade (which, ironically, is part of why I chose to respond to this post) it’s made me realise what a huuuuge journey Stede has ahead of him because working on recognising and considering other people’s emotions/needs before acting requires a lot of self-work, reflection, and practice.
Basically, I’m saying I don’t want to continue being the way that I have been over the course of my life and would prefer to only be rude to people when I intend to be.
Now, you may or may not agree with me that Izzy was aware of his actions & potential impacts on others (which doesn’t mean he was a psychic that could see every possible outcome or anything; just that he knew he was being rude & knows that people can and will respond to that rudeness) but whether you disagree with that HC or not is really not the point of this post, though I can see how people who view Izzy in a negative light could see this as someone condoning all of his actions/motivations IRL or something, but that’s absolutely not what’s happening here.
TL;DR this post is about me wanting to be aware of my actions and their impacts on others rather than acting carelessly, which is a bit ironic bc I seem to have worded things not quite carefully enough & now I need to clarify.
as always, if anyone ever has questions about something I’ve posted or wants more clarification, please please please let me know. My DMs, comments, and RBs are totally open for people being like “hey this kinda sounds like this, is that what you meant?” And yes I know it’s a big ask for internet strangers to try and clarify someone’s intentions/meaning prior to jumping on their posts (especially with all the exhausting daily battles those of us in marginalised groups face and how on guard we have to be just to survive/protect ourselves) but tbh we’re never gonna have a kinder world without doing exactly that because, just like Stede, sometimes people say something carelessly and they aren’t fully aware of how it could sound to others.
Bottom line: Just like Stede, I can and do communicate things ineffectively sometimes, but I also am and always will be working on it.
a lot of Izzy haters are like “if you like Izzy then you’re just as bad as he is!” and obviously that’s not how enjoying fiction works but for the sake of argument let’s say that it does work like that. Tbh I’d much rather be a cunt in the way that Izzy is than be a cunt in the way that Stede is. like I’d much rather be fully aware of my actions and the impacts they‘re having on other people than be carelessly careening thru life chasing my own desires while causing untold problems and harm to others without a single thought for their emotional wellbeing as long as I’m having a good time all while claiming to care about others. like? if I’m gonna be a cunt either way? I’d much rather be an honest self-aware one
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this is by no means a criticism of anyone and as a person who loves reading angst: please carry on writing it! also whatever i say here does not matter. but there's multiple fics containing a very specific physics error in the sandman fandom out there and i guess i want to clarify:
when you run out of air in a sealed environment (as dream possibly did when he was in the fishbowl) - you actually run out of oxygen, which is turned into C02. The gas does not magically disappear, but your body does not get enough oxygen and your cells start to die.
CO2 is also poisonous at high-ish concentrations (google says 10%), but assuming all oxygen would be transformed into C02, we'd end up with around 21% C02 in the fishbowl atmosphere. Which is very much deadly to humans.
(a bit of science talk, a bit of angst potential - when there's no oxygen, when the air is totally filled with another neutral gas, like nitrogen or helium, its not the other gas that kills you, its the lack of oxygen. and it happens very quickly, one or two breaths, and you don't even know it's happening (theres nothing to irritate the lungs, i think). there's a very specific alarm in labs that handle such gases - if it turns on, you leave immediately, no matter what you were doing, playing on your phone or handling open flame or whatever. you just nope the fuck out of that room, or even the whole fucking building. its sort of how monoxide poisonong works, btw, but monoxide poisoning at home is much slower. boy, that whole health and safety talk was brutal)
but yes. back to dream.
sound can carry in CO2 or any other gas. sound is just particle vibrations that are transported in a medium like a wave. the issue with dream not being able to speak would not be there being no air, as we already said that the air would remain in his fishbowl - there'd just be no oxygen in the air.
he'd be able to not die from not breathing in oxygen, and he'd be able to survive C02 poisoning (how well tho) and then he'd be able to exhale the gas, his larynx (is it larynx??) would possibly be able to make the air vibrate in his airways, he'd be possibly able to make the sound. but, if we assume he needs oxygen, or has gotten used to needing it (please do, again, good angst), or that the CO2 is affecting him - he would have trouble thinking, being able to formulate words.
he'd breathe in, and it would possibly not be painful, but he'd breathe out, and breathe in, and it would still possibly not be painful, but it would not be doing anything. he'd just asphyxiate further and further with every breath.
(i dont actually know the biological impact of lack of oxygen, other than whatever the fuck i remember from high school. pls help. i know the physics of it, thats all)
again, this is not a criticism. please do not take this seriously, also, because this rambling is inspired by me not having work life balance. but every time i read that theres no air, it has run out, there's nothing the sound can travel in, i am taken out of the fic and i start thinking about mass conservation. thank you for reading and have a good day.
#the sandman#dream of the endless#morpheus#angst#ig?#thermodynamics is haunting me ah i hated that course#being incredibly picky with science is why we cant have nice things#physics#ig???#asphyxia#choking#idk let me know if theres other warnings i should add#this was supposed to be a short post but the urge to Explain has won over
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×VSC×
Hello hello!!
I've had this idea stuck in my head for a while so aaaaaaa
Sinclair brothers (or just one of em if you don't wanna do all three) with more of a soulmate AU? We'll go with the red string soulmate AU (pretend they wouldn't just snip it please wdkbddk) but their soulmate ends up being a guy/trans guy?
I have no idea if I already requested to you aaaaaa so sorry if I did already!!
×Vexelier×
Bestie, I'm having horrid gender dysphoria rn so I needed this request to work on tonight 😭 thank you <3
To make it easier for my small brain. Only you and your soulmate can see your string. Not really sure if it's supposed to be that way or not, but figured I should clarify lmaoo
Sinclair Brothers Red String Soulmate AU (Discovering their S/O is a guy/Trans guy):
Bo Sinclair:
Bo had always wondered who his S/O was, how they acted. Were they stubborn? A model? Annoying? Did they share similar interests?
He would never admit that he thought of these things, though. If anyone ever asked he'd tell them, "if it weren't for ma and pops, I'd chop the string off and never worry about it again."
He never would though, honestly? The thought of having someone out there who potentially matched his crazy was the only thing keeping him going sometimes.
He would hope that you found him, knowing he couldn't leave his brothers to go galabanting for someone he didn't even know.
After some time he would lose hope. Keeping the string just in case, but he figured you didn't care. He assumed you found someone to be happy with, forgetting about poor Bo. Even if the two of you were soulmates.
He would flirt with the girls and even some of the guys that rolled through, but it was really just for the hell of it. Let off his sweet southern charm, but none of it mattered. They weren't you. They didn't have that stupid little fucking string around them.
He'd be even more upset if Lester and Vincent found their soulmates. Hating life to the point he lashed out on each victim, growing more violent. Feeling as empty inside as when his parents died. Nothing ever worked out for him.
The day you got closer was the day he felt nauseous. The string used to be loose, wavy, tangled around everything it seemed. But today? Oh boy, it was tight. Almost like if he tugged it hard enough he could pull you into his arms.
He was anxious that whole day. Palms and brow sweaty. Ordering his baby brother to drive around and look for any nearby folk. To lead them in town.
Lester obeyed like it was nothin' new. Not even thinking twice about it.
When he saw you his whole world froze up. The string, it led right to you! But.. you weren't a girl, like his parents always said you'd be.
He was feeling all sorts of emotions, shock, fear, anxiety, excitement, joy. It was almost too much. The way his throat tightened and his mouth dried up. He couldn't even even say anything to sweet talk you, he was in too much of shock.
You'd have to say something first to get him to stop basically staring into your soul.
"Hey..?" "Jesus Christ, you're here."
He'd be frustrated with how nervous he is, he wouldn't even care if you were a guy or not. Just glad that the person the world claimed was his other half was right there, in arms reach.
"Yeah, I guess I am." He wouldn't even know what to say or do, finally breaking a smile. "I always thought we'd never meet," "well, figured I ought to come find you before we died."
He would order his brothers to not even so much as touch you. Taking the rest of the day to get to know you, get on the basic level of things. His flirtatious, cocky attitude soon busting its way through him. Once he knew for a fact that this was really happening.
He'd feel happier than he ever has, really. He can finally flirt and mean it. Mean all the dirty, and even innocent remarks he makes towards you.
He would probably hide the fact he kills people from you, ease you into it. He would enjoy your company for a while before he told, though. Afraid you'd leave him and snip the line yourself if you found out.
You. His handsome babe. Who he could hold, kiss, talk to, anything. Maybe the world was finally changing for the better. Maybe it was worth waiting and not snipping the line.
If you did and you were okay with it, he would be grateful. If not, and you wanted to leave. Well, he'd understand, but he'd learn never to get attached again.
Vincent Sinclair:
Vincent was sure that he'd never actually meet you. He never wanted to leave Ambrose, this was his only safe place. His only home.
Plus he was a freak! Half of his face was corrupted. Bo was the pretty one, he was the hideous creature. He would always be the one unworthy of love.
He'd never dream of cutting the string, though. Even if sometimes he hoped you would. Too frightened to even think of what your reaction would be.
Would you laugh, stare in shock? Make fun and mock him? Cut the string and leave the instant you saw him? The thoughts he had scared the living hell out of him.
Lester and Bo would be there to reassure him.
"Hey, if ya got a string, someone's out there mean'ta be with ya. Looks or not, ya can't change faith, Vince." Bo would reassure him. Yeah, easy for him to say. People who weren't even his souldmate wanted him.
When the string seemed tighter than usual he didn't think much of it. Until he saw you standing in front of him. Panicking when he accidentally snuck up on you.
Your smile made him drop the supplies he was holding. The chuckle you let out was what he imagined true beauty sounded like.
"Oh jeez, ya scared me! Didn't mean to wander, just caught a glimpse and thought this museum seemed pretty neat,"
He would be in a complete panic. Hands beginning to shake as he stared at the string attached to you. Pointing when you seemed to not notice it much.
You look down, then back to him. Watching the man basically shiver in front of you. Panicking a bit yourself that it may be due to your appearance, or the fact you were obviously the same gender as him.
"Am I not what you expected?" He could hear the disappointment and sadness in your voice. The way you rubbed the back of your neck and looked down.
His eyes would widen, shaking his head 'no,' and his hands, frantically. He'd curse himself for his inability to speak, well.. More so his refusal. His facial structure made his voice so nasally and gross, he hated it so much.
He didn't really want to speak, but the worry and regret on your face made his stomach knot up. His heart beating quickly as he shuffled his feet. Hands fiddling with each other.
"No, you look nice." He would say, clenching his jaw and narrowing his eyes to the floor. Moving his hair to cover his mask more than before. Hoping you didn't notice. Hoping to God you didn't hate him.
His awkwardness and quiet voice coaxed you into feeling more relaxed. Thankful that you being a guy wasn't what seemed to have him all worked up. You could tell now it was something else, something more personal.
"You weren't expecting me now, were ya?" He'd shake his head 'no,' again. Hoping you'd take note that he wasn't too into talking.
"Me being a guy doesn't bother you?" He'd shake his head 'no,' again. Eyes flickering up to yours. Face tinting red at the mere fact that he was making eye contact with you. His stomach felt like a zoo of butterflies. Hoping you would forgive him for how awkward and nervous he was.
It would take him a long time to warm up to you, but he'd make an effort to get closer to you. You were his soulmate, after all. Your looks did intimidate him, though. You were just so God-Like to him. He couldn't help but draw you when he had the time.
His brothers would do the explaining. Filling you in that Vincent and Bo were conjoined twins, about his deformities and anxiety. Plus how he rarely talked due to the deformation of his face. Causing his voice to sound nasally and hoarse.
Vincent would be thankful that they explained it. Especially if you're understanding. Which you better be, or else he may shut down and not even try to get close to you. Feeling as if it'd be pointless in the end.
It'd take months before he removed his make for you, but when he did you'd know he felt more confident around you. Plus that he trusted you more, which after being around him for that long. You knew that meant a lot, and you cherished the moments where he trusted you enough for any of that.
Expect to find drawing of yourself in his work room, and for him to keep you away from him and his brothers murders. He can't risk you getting hurt, even if you wanna help.
Lester Sinclair:
He'd be a lot more like Vincent than Bo, just more of a sickly romantic. He'd fanboy about you any chance he got.
"I bet'cha they're the pretties’ thing out there," “Oh I bet’cha they’d jus’ love Jonesy!” “Do ya think they’d like truck rides ‘n’ bones?” “Bo’re you ev’n list’ning?”
Would definitely daydream about holding you. He’s so touch starved
Probably has his house set up so he has a spare room just for you. That way when you meet you have the choice of sleeping in your own room. Instead of having to feel as if you have to sleep in the same bed as him.
He’d probably talk to himself at night and pretend it was you listening. He’s weird like that.
Bo would make fun of his baby brother when he’d zone out. Claiming he has a ‘love sick gaze,’ and that he’s gunna ‘scare ‘em off with how in love ya’re.’
Lester would just shrug and smile with pinkened cheeks. He wouldn’t care, he loved the thought of you too much.
When the string got tight he’d get excited. Basically going out on a drive for people without even having to be told.
When he saw you walking down the road he nearly screamed out of excitement and raw joy.
“Hey, ya need a ride?” You’d stare for a moment, but then realize the string that he held between his fingers. Smiling over to you like an excited dog.
“Well, I can’t say no to a li’l’ hospitality from a fella such as yourself,” you’d have him in giggles, pure joy radiating from this man as you climbed in.
Lester couldn’t give two shits if you had no arms and legs, you were you. His soulmate, gender was just a concept to him. He would respect you, so long as you respected him. Plus, if anyone could love him when he was as weird and unattractive as he thought he was, that was a plus. He was just happy to have someone who cared.
He would be showing you off to his brothers ASAP. This is an important part of his life, 10/10 experience for him. He will most definitely be rambling to you the entire ride, too. Answering any questions you have, even if he is a bit shy with some. He’s just too happy.
“Oh we have to let’cha meet Jonesy now!” He’d exclaim, shooing you back to the truck to take you back to his home. Going on about his beloved fury companion. He just hopes you like dogs, or at least his dog. Lester would be sleeping in the doghouse with him if you didn’t allow him inside, even if you were his soulmate. Jonesy was there first. He was like his son, honestly.
He’d be absolutely ecstatic if you liked his dog. Smiling fondly when the two of you interacted. It’d be like a dream come true for him. Having to pinch himself to be sure it wasn’t another daydream.
He’d spend the whole week getting to know you more. Telling you everything about himself that you wanted to know. Spending as long as he could doing everything he ever wanted to do with you. Letting you do the same.
If you wanted to sleep in the room he had just for you, he couldn’t care less. He was just glad you chose to stay with him. Expect him to be up and waiting for you to wake up, though.
If and when you choose to lay with him, he will be shaking like a leaf. He’s not used to someone being in his bed, besides Jonesy. Let alone touching another person.
You’d have to ease him, let him know you wouldn’t break and you wanted touched. If you don’t, please tell him! He doesn’t wanna overstep boundaries on accident!
Would definitely love holding and being held by you, either would be fantastic and he would melt!
If you find out about his and his brothers hobbies and you’re okay with it, he’d let you tag along with him. Lure victims into town.
His hand is either holding yours, or on your thigh when you go with him, though. Even if it’s just the two of you, it’s just where his free hand will always be. You signed up for this, at this point.
You’re his, and he is yours. This is a mutual thing, so please, touch him back. He’ll smile like a big bafoon.
#lester x reader#lester sinclair x reader#lester sinclair#bo x reader#bo sinclair x reader#bo sinclair#vincent sinclair x reader#vincent sinclair#vincent x reader#the house of wax#the sinclair brothers#sinclair brothers
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So I decided to make an analysis about the last scene of Infinite Darkness
But before I start with the fun part, I just want to tell you that my history with “angst ships”
I had a bad experience with another ship, soul mates full of angst tropes and true love, beautiful... and a really bad ending because the showrunner fought with the actors (I wasted years watching and I regret it).
Anyway, after suffering that kind of pain, no other ships and angst scenes can hit me hard enough. I'm numb or just got used to it. You choose.
So maybe the scene of Leon and Claire's argument wasn't that impactful for me because of that. But for all the fans who felt hurt, I understand and it's okay to feel that way, because the scene was meant to hurt. The scene exists because of that. And your feelings are valid.
So let's get to the fun part.
spoiler alert, it's not that fun, it actually hurts 😅
The scene starts with Leon going to meet Claire at the gates of the White House.
I don't think anyone denies the fact that, whatever Leon is doing, he just wants to protect Claire. And he doesn't want her involved because of it.
But this dialogue makes this even more evident if we analyze how it begins.
Nothing in a show or movie is by accident. Everything is handpicked for one reason or another. The meaning is not always that deep, but there is still a meaning behind it all.
So when – of all the ways a conversation can be started – they decide to make Claire joke that she sneaked out of the hospital, Leon takes it seriously and she has to clarify that it's a joke, there's a reason:
Show that Leon is taking what happened to her too serious, and Claire not that much.
When Claire makes a comment about when he's going to stop treating her like a kid and he says probably never. There's a reason:
Show that Leon wants to protect her (or being overprotective) and Claire doesn't like it.
Of course, some might argue that this specific line is capcom trying to show that their feelings aren't romantic and sink the ship completely. And, ok, people are free to think that.
But if they really wanted to sink cleon forever, they shouldn't have done the scene of Leon saving Claire the way they did. They did it because they knew it would tease a certain part of the fans... They knew exactly what they were doing...
And there's simply no reason to tease a ship you want to sink.
So no, I don't think that's it...
For me the scene means the classic and simple: "stop being worried about me🙄" "noooo🗣️"
Another way to intensify Leon being overprotective is Claire's broken arm. A reminder that she was injured following his plan. Just as she was hurt the last time they saw each other in Harvardville.
And yes, I know Degeneration made Claire hurt to take her out of the action. It is undeniable. But somehow I don't think the same situation and reason applies to Infinite darkness.
Because Claire was already out of combat, following Leon's plan and showing no intention of doing anything different. It's not like she's going to attack the monster that is several platforms higher than where she is. She couldn't fly around and there were no guns where she was anyway.
So why hurt her to get her out of combat if the story itself has already done that?
Again, you are free to think differently. Capcom made Claire dirty, she was underestimated and they wasted her potential. I won't argue with that, I'm also on the team Claire deserves better.
I just don't think it fits this specific situation.
The injured arm is there and a awkward conversation about Leon being overprotective starts because of it. I think it makes sense.
So moving on.
Claire mentions the chip and Leon looks disappointed for a moment and says he thought they were going to dinner.
This is to indicate that he didn't come to see her with the intention of breaking their friendship. Leon just wanted to spend a good time with her and nothing more. Some place a little more normal, maybe?👀
But Claire wants the chip and tells Leon her plan. The same plan that Shen May was killed trying to convince her partner to follow. Is there a parallel here?
The only difference is that Jason broke her neck while Leon decided to break Claire's heart.
Okay now I could show more parallels between them, but I won't because this is already too long and I know maybe I'm reading too much into this. Resident Evil isn't that deep most of the time 😂
Anyway, Claire asked for the chip and Leon said no.
And that's the point, right.
The climax of the conversation and the turning point in their relationship.
Note that Leon took a few seconds to say he couldn't. That was the moment when he made his decision...
He went to meet her for dinner, remember? He didn't expect to have this conversation or make a decision like that. But he had to.
Now, I'm not from the US and I don't trust politicians in general, fiction or not. But I admit this sounds realistic.
Just imagine if the president makes a speech about peace and prosperity and whatever and the next day the media reveals that members of the government are involved in BOW and planning an attack on another country.
At the very least, it won't look good.
In the worst case, it will be a catastrophe 😂
So... I don't agree with Leon, but I understand why he chose this.
It's an important decision, however. And how long it takes him to say something and how he's quiet after saying it shows he knows what's on the line. Not just the security of the country and “peace”, but also his relationship with Claire.
And despite everything... He didn't lie to her.
It would be much easier for Leon to simply say "the chip was destroyed in the fight" when she asked. Claire would never know about it and probably never doubt him. And they would still be fine with each other and having dinner.
But he didn't lie. Why?
Because their relationship is not based on lies. And it's not based on betrayals.
And while it may be hard to believe right now and it hurts to think about it, this relationship is still based on truth and trust in each other. And now their relationship is being tested.
It's easy to trust someone you're on good terms. How hard it must be to trust someone who has let you down.
There is a lot of room for development here.
Obviously Claire felt hurt in this moment. Maybe even betrayed. Heartbroken. I think we all feel that same way.
But Leon played fair there. He said he had the chip, showed it to her, and then said he wouldn't give it to her.
He was honest with her. And this act also shows respect.
They are two people with different points of view and that truth hurts.
There is silence as they look at each other. She never asked his reasons and he obviously never told them. The exchange of glances is enough for them to understand what was happening.
When Claire says “you do things your way and I do mine” it's almost like “do you know what that means? ”
Then Leon nods and another moment of silence. The time they need to accept that the relationship is broken.
Now that's angst
Interesting choice of camera angle. Showing her broken arm as a visual reminder of why he was pushing her away like that.
Claire leaves, but looks back and says again that his outfit doesn't suit him.
What's interesting here is that the director has done a few interviews over the past few weeks and he always said that the suit is a representation of Leon's position in government.
Claire commenting that it doesn't suit him is basically the writers/producers/directors admitting that this position doesn't look good.
And while all the characters praising Leon for his success, Claire is the one who sees this reality and who he truly is out of the suit (position)
And that's good angst.
Claire walks away and Leon with a sad look watching her leave and he has to say to himself "I will stop this".
Could it be just one of his one-lines? Yes.
Could it be a way for him to remind himself why he's doing this, even if it means sacrificing his relationship with Claire?
It's already done, now he has to make it worth it.
Whatever happens after that is a mystery.
I don't think Claire believes that Leon is going to cover up the government's involvement in things (their discussion would be much more intense if that were the case), she probably thinks he's going to resolve it internally without taking anything public, which is precisely what she wants to do.
I also don't think Leon believes Claire is going to give up on the investigation, he probably thinks it's going to take some time to her to get real evidence and he has time to carry out his plans.
But this is capcom... They are masters of forgetting plot points. So who knows.
Angst is only good if it has a good closure. I hope they keep that in mind.
In any other tv show that used this kind of angst trope and drama I would be completely fine...
I would expect a sequel to this plot. The characters find each other unexpectedly, having to work together and acting awkwardly because they don't know how to stick around each other after the argument. Then the story would develop and they would gradually mend their relationship.
That's the trope.
So that's all I can hope for.
#cleon#this just got too long and l didn't write half of my thought 😅#I only watch the show once but I've seen this scene a thousand times#I'll probably have more to say after rewatching everything again#leon kennedy#claire redfield#resident evil infinite darkness#leon x claire#claire x leon
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/rp
Before I get into it, I want to state that is EXPLICITLY an analysis of the Characters, and is not intended to touch on how the cc’s played them in a meta sense unless specifically stated otherwise.
Also, this is technically a part two to my other post, which took a more in depth look at Techno and Phil’s reactions to Tommy’s death. It’s not necessary when reading this post, but I don’t address their reactions here.
So. The question must be asked.
Are we [the Syndicate] the baddies?
Yes.
The End.
Why are the Syndicate the baddies?
They got damn logo is a wither skull.
The End.
That's not how this works.
Yeah, yeah. You’re right.
The Syndicate's goals as an organization are not inherently bad. They seem to have good intentions behind them, and the focus on the freedom of it's individual group members is important to remember when talking about it; It is not a government. There is no hierarchical power system. No one is forced to do anything against their will, or surrender any of their rights or power to remain a member. It is not a government.
I also want to address Techno and Phil backing Ranboo into a corner – I see them getting a lot of flack for this, but I personally do not think it is relevant to the greater discussion, or necessarily representative of any contradictions within the organization. It was clearly played for laughs, and after they back off they clarify to Ranboo that they won't force him. Then later when Phil and Ranboo are alone, Ranboo feels safe enough to express that he felt like he was pressured into it, and Phil assures him he is allowed to leave whenever he wants; He is not being forced to do anything, and he is not being coerced or blackmailed.
None of the Syndicate members have done any wrongs against each other in the context of the Syndicate, OR gone against any of the Syndicate's core principles.
That, said, holy shit are they the baddies.
Listen, there's trying to telegraph a meaning or message to the audience and then there's having your logo be wither skulls on blackstone. That is straight out of the skit I keep referencing, seriously.
Okay, but, they laughed at it! It was played as a joke, just like the Ranboo thing!
The Ranboo thing was improv, the Syndicate's headquarters were planned – the artistic choices that they made reflect on what role they want the build and the organization inhabiting it to play in the future storylines.
Wither Skulls kind of have some CONNOTATIONS. Techno is an English major, I don't think he chose the most threatening imagery possible on accident, and then joked about the way people would interpret it just to stir the pot. This reads as hugely intentional.
And beyond that, the jokes they make during this part aren't “haha yeah, we look bad but we're actually good!” they're “you can tell by looking at these that we're the good guys wink wink, this is good guy stuff right here :)” It is a joke about how they are definitely not the good guys. This isn't even a case of unreliable narrators, this is one step down from flat out saying the meta intent.
But okay, I hear you, I'm talking about things that haven't happened yet. The Syndicate hasn't used any Withers, they could be an aesthetic choice. Lets look at what they do in practice.
So, they barge into private property, assess Snowchester's right to continue existing based entirely on their own ideals of what Freedom is, and then only once Tubbo assures them that they have no standing leader do they grant the place their approval to, and I gotta stress this part, continue existing.
In my Quackity meta, I already talked about how Government in the context of a M1necraft RP cannot be compared to IRL Governments on a one-to-one scale. They don't serve the same purposes or have the same type of power. What I didn't talk about was Agency in the context of m1necraft governments.
In an irl government, if you are born into one, you can't really leave without committing a massive overhaul on your life, which can be expensive and difficult, if not impossible for many people. Even in a “benevolent” government, the simple physicality of where you were born can prevent you from leaving it easily.
The same hurdles do not exist in the Dream SMP. People who join M1necraft governments choose to. They want to, either at the beginning when they form one, or later on when they join up. So far, no Government has just Sprung Up and forced the current residents of an area to become dependent on them, except maybe the Eggpire, who's status as a government is... shakey.
And even when people want to leave or separate from the government, they have been historically able to do so without any trouble or any effort from said governments to stop them. Jack Manifold emancipated from Manberg. Fundy and Quackity both left to start new nations. In all cases they were allowed to do so without any attempts on the part of the governments to stop them, either through force, or institutions preventing them from doing so.
The most anyone has lost when leaving a government is their house, which is still usually their property anyway, and is something that is easily rebuilt elsewhere and is inconvenient to move anyway.
The only exceptions to this might be Schlatt exiling Wilbur and Tommy - but even then, they weren’t trying to leave, they were trying to get back in, and of course the original L’manberg revolution, where Dream attempted to force L’manberg back into the Dream SMP, which wasn’t even a government at that point in time.
I don’t consider Phil’s house arrest an example of a government forcing someone to stay a citizen - that was treated less as a matter of a citizen wanting to leave the country and more as a threat to national security. Still pretty fucked up, but it’s a different issue.
What I'm saying is, If Tubbo wants to create a government out in the middle of nowhere, threatening no one, forcing no one to join either through force or desperation, and allowing people to join willingly because they want to, then he should be allowed to do that.
The Irony of the Syndicate, a group of people consisting of some of the richest, strongest people on the server, going around and enforcing 'Freedom' that entails no one person having more power than any other, is absurd.
It shows an extreme lack of self-awareness and/or self-righteousness, as they seem to think that they deserve to be the ones who decide what constitutes a government.
Snowchester is a small independent nation - they shouldn’t have to live in fear of being obliterated if they don’t walk on eggshells to meet an arbitrary standard decided by people who’s only authority on the matter COMES FROM THEIR PERSONAL POWER. No one elected them! No one chose them! They were not “approved” by the server at large to enact this kind of law.
The Syndicate are not a government, but they are an unsupervised power structure exerting their ideals on a land that did not ask for them. Like, These people have invented an actual Authoritarian-Anarchist faction. How the hell did they manage this?????
Back on topic.
Tubbo shows them the crater left by his nukes. The reaction is oddly positive – the nukes are fine by the morals of the Syndicate, apparently. I'd argue that they come across as more impressed than anything else; they seem to respect Tubbo for having gotten ahold of “real” power.
(There's a few good memes out there about “We can excuse nuclear weaponry, but we draw the line at Government!”)
So. By the Syndicate's standards: A single person or group of acceptably equal persons with weapons of mass-destruction are only worth “keeping an eye on” because they might provoke other people.
Like, I consider Project Dreamcatcher to be one of, if not the most morally ambiguous thing Tubbo has ever done, largely because it was all on his own initiative. He holds some culpability for The Butcher Army and Phil's house arrest, but they weren't his ideas and he was mostly following Quackity at that point.
And Phil tells Tubbo, IMMEDIATELY AFTER SEEING THE NUCLEAR CRATER:
“Looks like you've reformed a little bit Tubbo, I'm proud.”
And it's fine. Crimes against nature? Fine. A sign of healing in fact!! Tubbo is having a sweeeelll time and he definitely didn't make these nukes specifically in fear of being attacked by these exact people! Tubbo is doing great. Tubbo is doing fine. Tubbo. is. FINE.
Anyway.
I don't think this presentation of the Syndicate was an accident. Looking at the greater lore of SMP right now, after the Egg is done, their list of enemies is slim, and considering that they seem solely invested in taking down governments, that leaves maybe Snowchester, Kinoko Kingdom, and Eret and the greater Dream SMP.
Snowchester has not been shown to be corrupt, evil, or have any intent to go down that route. The most ambiguous thing they've done is, again, is the nukes. Other than that, it's pretty much your average cottagecore snow village.
Kinoko is presented in an even more morally 'good' light, Karl having founded it specifically for his Time-travel library purposes, which are currently being treated by the narrative as a selfless act, if not downright heroic.
Eret is also a fairly 'good' aligned character atm. He's been on that redemption grind since the og betrayal, and doesn't seem keen on backtracking. He's actively tried to leverage his position as king to make things better, and hasn't been quiet about that. He was also 'validated' by Tommy*, a character who has been described both by his allies and enemies as “the hero,” so take that as you will.
What I'm getting at is, all of the current potential enemies for the Syndicate aside from the Egg, are currently being cast as 'good,' and if they were to be attacked, they would undoubtedly have the moral high-ground, unless something drastically changed.
The only potential shakeups I can think of is are a Dream escape and/or a Wilbur revival, both of which could draw the Syndicate's attention and ire, depending on how things go. That said, it's just as likely that either or both of them would join the Syndicate – Dream still has that favor, and Phil and Techno both seemed to think Wilbur would've agreed with their blowing up L'manberg.
Both of those characters are currently **villains – the fact that they're both prime candidates for the Syndicate is a huge indication of the direction it's going to go as the plot moves forward.
((*I know some people are gonna come at me for painting Tommy as the “deciding factor” of what is morally good, so lemme just stop you there. I'm not talking about Tommy somehow having the 'right' to decide who is and isn't good, and definitely not the right to decide who should and shouldn't be king. I'm saying that Tommy, a character who the narrative treats as, if not a good person, then a person who is trying to be good, was in support of Eret, a character who has also been trying to be good.
Eret doesn't gain the moral highground because Tommy said so, he gets it because a character who the narrative treats as trying to do better, acknowledged Eret's earnest attempts at doing the same.
**I'm referring to Wilbur here as a villain because Tommy seemed convinced he would be if he were to be brought back. There is always the possibility that he's wrong.))
So, to summarize this: I read the Syndicate as being intentionally positioned as future antagonists, if not outright villains of a future arc. They are NOT a Government but their goals are contradictory with their means, and it is important to keep in mind that they plan to enforce their own brand of freedom on people who did not grant them either the authority or permission to do so.
So, uh. Can you tell I loved these streams? They were seriously so good. I kept switching between Ranboo and Techno's POV's trying to keep up with everything. I still have to watch Niki's!
All in all, I'm super, super excited for whats coming next, egg stuff, Syndicate stuff, Tommy stuff, all of it.
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anyone else think neo’s reports are weird about composers i think theyre weird about composers. lets make sense of joshuas status as composer and hazuki as comparison
this is gonna be a bit long. so anyway the og reports are p straightforward about what Composers (specifically, joshua) can and cannot do:
- Joshua can only pick up Hanekoma’s vibe, because Angel vibes are too high frequency for him to pick up
- Inter-planar contact (so, communication between the UG and the Higher Plane in this case) is difficult, which is brought up because
- The Composer, Joshua, only resides in the UG.
- But the Producer, who is an Angel, mainly resides in the Higher Plane, and only occasionally lingers in the UG.
The whole matter of jumping between worlds highlights the difference between their abilities even more:
- As Composer, Joshua is one of the beings who can jump between worlds, but isn’t meant to do so often. His vibe dipped too low, so Hanekoma had to come retrieve him, because as an Angel this sort of travel is simple for him.
the OG reports make it pretty clear Joshua isnt an Angel
*But. unfortunately its not that easy. because by clearing the final time trial joshua gives you an item called Angel Feather (天使のハネ in JP), of which the description says “Our buyer used divine means to acquire this mysterious feather that was once in the possession of Shibuya's Composer.“ (which some have interpreted as, “in the possession of” meaning “it was given to him” potentially by hanekoma, who actually IS an Angel)
and if things are vague, we turn to the JP to clear us up! but its. still vague there bc it says “バイヤーが特別な力で入手した渋谷エリアのコンポーザーが持っていた���の羽根“ (The mysterious feather that was held/carried by the Composer of the Shibuya area that the buyer obtained with a special power)
so. we are none the wiser about whose feather this is. i imagine its up to interpretation whether its joshuas feather or hanekomas, who then gave it to joshua. but given how clearly the reports differentiate between the Composer and Angels in regards to their abilities, suffice to say theres two interpretations that are most likely
- Composers arent Angels, their power disparity is just too much
- Composers are Angels, but theyre so much weaker compared to the Angels who reside in the Higher Plane that they’re never referred to as Angels, just as Composers
which takes us to neo, and hazukis little lightshow
i think its notable that the reports dont comment on kubos so-called “exorcism”, and only on haz erasing his noise.
haz himself refers to his little stunt as “exorcising” kubo, while in JP he actually says haiki 廃棄, get rid of, revoke, invalidate.
i think its important that he clarified “i didnt erase him, i exorcised him”. because with kubo, the executor, being an Angel from the Higher Plane, a Composer shouldnt be able to erase someone of higher ranking than them. i think as the person who called upon kubo in the first place, haz could specifically revoke his services and send him back to the Higher Plane.
which means kubo wasnt erased, he was just sent back. hes still kickin
we could leave things right here as they are. Canonically, Composers are so far beneath Angels to a point where even if they were Angels themselves, they are so much weaker than them that they could hardly be referred to as such
this is where the facts end. but im gonna keep going and have fun speculating about things and include some i dont have physical proof of (yet)
its notable that in JP, hazuki says that kubo tried to purify shibuya probably because he wanted to be praised by Hazuki. which is weird if kubos supposed to be higher ranking than haz. (in EN, haz just says hes always been an overachiever) but lets put a pin in that for later 📌
which takes us to the matter of Shinjuku’s Producer. or their lack thereof
throughout all of neo’s reports, there is not a single mention of Shinjuku having a Producer. before neo, we kind of assumed every UG’s setup follows largely the same structure. a Composer, a Conductor, a Producer, and then some Reapers. but Shinjuku does not seem to have a Producer. and i think its because it doesnt need one.
its important to remember Who is writing these reports and Who theyre for. the reports are written by shibuyas Producer, and theyre written for the Higher Plane. and shibuyas Composer cant pick up the vibes of any Angel except hanekoma, so he cant be the one writing the reports for beings he cant even pick up the vibes from, especially since he only resides in the UG.
and yet, hanekoma comments that Hazuki should have filed a report, and that haz is disinterested in the lower planes.
in English its a little vague about who hes talking about, but the JP specifies Shinjukus Composer as the subject of this sentence.
throughout both reports, the UG and RG are considered part of the lower planes. its strange for a Composer to have no interest in the very planes they govern, plus for a Composer to file a report to the Higher Plane when its been established that Joshua, as a Composer, cant even perceive anyone from there.
so i think Hazuki may actually be a proper Angel from the Higher Plane, who was potentially demoted to become Shinjukus Composer.
though you can very much interpret haz “exorcising” kubo as simply “sending him back whence he came”, its of course pretty anticlimactic to see this massive laser beam essentially disintegrate kubo on a molecular level, only for it to have been a quick ride back to the higher plane with kubo being perfectly in tact after. if haz were actually much more powerful than an ordinary Composer, itd make sense why he would have been able to erase an Angel like kubo so. thoroughly.
this would also explain why kubo may have wanted to be praised by hazuki in the JP dialogue. with hazuki potentially being an outlier for Composers and being far Higher ranking than kubo, our executor may have wanted to sucker up a bit. maybe get promoted and away from his “basically a janitor” job if haz puts in a good word for him upstairs
theres also hazukis entire demeanor, and how Bad he is at acting like a normal person
we know of four paths that Players can take
they can choose erasure
they can choose resurrection to return to the RG
they can become Reapers
they can become Angels
and Reapers can eventually become Angels, though its yet unclear if the only way for that to happen is
for them to become Composer (potentially the Lowest Angel-rank there is) and thats it.
or if Composers can ascend and become Actual Angels and eventually reside in the Higher Plane, though how a successor for the seat of Composer is chosen in that scenario is yet entirely unknown since Usually the seat only becomes vacant when the previous Composer is defeated
or if they, as a Reaper, need to Ask the Composer who then asks the Producer to send a guy for evaluation or something
or if the Higher Plane has like, a talent scout guy somewhere.
potentially more than one may apply but at least the last point is the most likely, because
Conductors are invited to the Higher Plane (probably to become Angels) upon purification
(interesting to note that Composers are not mentioned as being invited, which would point to “theyre Angels, but like, weak-ass Angels”)
anyway, the point is that so far weve been told that Angels were Players or Reapers at one point. we know Joshua was a Player for sure, given the morsels of backstory we get from him and Hanekoma. but we dont know if All Angels came from the RG at one point, or if Angels that have always been Angels exist.
either way, the point is that for Hazuki to act so non-human like and to be disinterested in the UG and RG, he either must have been an Angel for a very long time, or he was never human to begin with.
this is relevant to how he interacts with joshua in the Secret Ending, though its a lot less obvious in English, in JP their dynamic is clear: Joshua is his senior, and as his junior, Hazuki looks to him as an example.
for one, thats hilarious. secondly, that recontextualizes like everything
‘course, you could keep the interpretation that theyre just Both weak-ass angels and hazuki just made kubo use a flashy dramatic elevator to the HP and nothing groundbreakingly powerful happened, but thats kinda anticlimactic
so. staying w the idea that hazuki may be a demoted Angel from the Higher Plane, then itd make sense for Joshua to have been Composer for longer than him, and for haz to act Like...That, since he couldve been not-human for a Very long time, or Never was one in the first place, but is still a younger Composer bc he got demoted like. 4 years back or something.
it also explains why Shinjuku may not need a Producer, and why Hazuki is the one writing his reports. its because hes still an Angel from the Higher Plane, so he does not need an intermediary to contact other Angels.
so to summarize what im tryna say here
Hazuki may have initially been a regular Angel from the Higher Plane, before he eventually got demoted to become Shinjukus Composer, despite how disinterested he is in the UG and RG. (he is considered to be “infamously unsympathetic”, a trait which is reinforced in the JP version to be something he is known for amongst the Higher Plane, which could potentially be the reason for his demotion)
Since hes Joshuas junior, that means he hasnt been Composer for as long as Joshua has, so Hazuki looks to him to know what youre even supposed to do/how to act/etcetera as Composer. With his Special circumstances, he does not need a Producer as an intermediary to interact with the Higher Plane, because hes already an Angel so he can do it himself.
whatever Angel Hierarchy there may be, Hazuki is at the very least a higher rank than an Executor, considering how kubo wanted to impress him, and how haz effortlessly got rid of him. with kubo being from the Higher Plane, joshua is decidedly lower ranking than kubo, and cant even pick up his vibe. which clearly positions haz into a unique circumstance as a Composer bc of this discrepancy in ranking and power. amen
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theres other things that back this up but i unfortunately do not have a source for them, so This section, take with a grain of salt.
Supposedly, in neo’s data files:
Joshua is referred to as an Advanced Angel
Kubo as a Junior Angel, and
Hazuki as a Senior Angel
i only heard this secondhand and have no way of corroborating this myself, but if this is true then that lines up with the super long super sexy little essay i just wrote up there
this “ranking” solidifes Kubos position as Hazukis underling. which, if he were an ordinary Composer, wouldnt even be possible.
Joshua is notably a different rank from Haz, though its difficult to figure out if “Advanced” is supposed to be Lower than junior, or Higher than senior. thats up to interpretation until its possibly ever acknowledged,
but my interpretation is that an Advanced Angel is lower than a Junior Angel. i think “advanced” in this case is meant to refer to the traditional evolution of players to reapers to the composer, advancing from one status to the next.
--
**Little post-edit, @/inkerii gave me the actual designation in the files! (so this ones backed-up!)
so in the files, theyre designated ranks are as follows
Joshua: 男、天使上級 ※前作 (Male, Senior/Advanced Grade Angel ※from the Previous work)
Hazuki: 男、天使上級 (Male, Senior/Advanced Grade Angel)
Kubo: 男、天使下級 (Male, Junior/Lower Grade Angel)
so haz and joshua are the same rank bc theyre both Composers! since thats an internal data text kinda thing it might not have any bearing on like, potential Technical exceptions since they Are both the same “job”, but mightve gotten it under different circumstances.
as for kubo potentially being lower ranking than even a Composer, i think unless we find out what a Producers ranking is, we cant say much abt whether an Executors lower or higher. i kinda mean it in the sense of, Producers are a Composers subordinate bc they follow their orders and have to create the things theyre tasked to make by the Composer (pins, etc), but may still be “higher” in ranking because they reside in the Higher Plane/jump between parallel worlds, while a Composer cannot. an Executor may be in a similar position where theyre a Composers underling, tasked by Composers to purify things, but may actually be “higher” in ranking because they reside in the higher plane, etc!
i think regardless of whether kubo turns out to be lower ranking than joshua or not, hazuki could still be Even More Higher in a way where he actually has like, sway over whether he could get a promotion! if that was his intent. he could also just be a huge suck up. a real kiss ass. teachers pet for angels
---
theres also the ntwewy Official Guidebook, which has a small comment beneath hazuki that says
and i additionally remember an interview, though i dont have a source for this claim and i could very much be misremembering, but i recall seeing the reason for hazuki not being the final boss is because they did not think players could suspend their disbelief far enough to accept that the twisters would be able to defeat a being from the Higher Plane.
which is perfectly reasonable, but
Composers are meant to be able to be defeated by Players or Reapers. if hazuki really was so powerful that itd be impossible for them to defeat him, then hed be far too strong to be an ordinary Composer, since thats. how you take over in the first place. thats kinda the whole plot of og twewy.
anyway that concludes my case
#neo twewy spoilers#neo twewy#ntwewy#the world ends with you#twewy meta#hazuki mikagi#twewy composer#vampymori.txt#(uses my gay little brain to figure out a way the neo reports dont retcon lore) BEHOLD....#i like this bc its funny as hell to think haz like. did something to be DEMOTED?#SORRY THAT CONCEPTS HILARIOUS TO ME#i didnt talk abt it much but the fact that hes called Infamously Unsympathetic#and in JP it additionally implies that the Higher Plane thinks this way of him as well#that means. they hated his ass so much they were like GET OUT#oh another thing. i didnt know where to add it#but in neos social network joshua is referred to as 'a being from a Higher Plane'#its notable that it says 'a' not 'the' Higher Plane (capitalized) bc the og reports do say the UG is on a higher plane than the RG#so like. its true. just a weird way to say hes from the UG#im p sure joshuas never BEEN to The actual Higher Plane#he wouldnt even be able to SEE anyone there. much less elevate his vibe that high#anyway. godspeed thanks for reading#hazuki demotion theory#is what im basically calling this LOL
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re: DSMP "unsolved mysteries"
I've seen lots and lots of posts about the "unsolved mysteries" on the Dream SMP that focus on the TNT on top of the prison and the missing nukes. One of those I am very confident was implied canonically to be Ranboo, and the other I'm confident in my theory that it was him. Putting it under a read more bc its fuckin Long, but its worth the read! Word count: 2482
First: TNT at the prison.
This was implied to be Ranboo across a couple different streams, albiet subtly. I'm not surprised it went a little bit under the radar, but it's simply untrue to say we have no indication of who it could be.
This point doesn't hold true across everything of this nature, and if it did, it would be a dead giveaway, but I think it's relevant here for a couple reasons: Ranboo was online at the time of the explosions. Tommy tends to reflexively open the tab menu during his lore streams, almost as a nervous habit, so we saw multiple times that Ranboo was online, and would seen it have even if Tommy had chat turned off. Online at the time were Sam, Dream, Tommy, Foolish, and Ranboo. Foolish could not have been the culprit, as he was live at the time. In the case of this incident, it would have to be manually triggered by someone. Afterwards, when Tubbo was doing his "interrogations", his first bit of evidence was checking who was online when it happened. For these reasons, I feel this is a valid point for this incident.
That night, Ranboo was live on the SMP. This stream is notable for most people because it was when Ranboo did the odd code in his inventory, that read "He is in control" (or he is in control of me, if you count the to do list). Many people focused on this as a indication that Dream controlled Ranboo to set off the TNT, but this line of thinking was abandoned over time, especially as we saw the implication that the message was actually referring to the Enderwalk, talking about Ranboo stopping himself from doing anything to save Tommy from the prison during that week. However, other details in that stream also hinted it was Ranboo. Most notable to me was Ranboo reading chat or a dono asking him what he had done that day, and him answering that he had "probably gone mining," with some uncertainty. Later that same stream, he went down into his mines , found no ingots in the furnaces, and commented "maybe [he] didn't go mining", and that he wasn't sure what he had done that morning. This comes across to me as an indication that he had a blank spot in his memory that day--that he had been Enderwalking. He drew attention to this here, where he otherwise wouldn't, because it implies he was Enderwalking while he was visibly online, on Tommy's stream, where he would have been able to set off that TNT.
Ranboo was one of the only people on the server with a positive relationship with Dream, of any sort. It is true, especially at this time, that many people had negative opinons of Tommy, but Ranboo was the only one who didn't outright hate Dream... in his Enderwalk state. (with the sole exception of Punz, if you think the vault confrontation was staged, but that's definitely theory territory.) Dream has repeatedly stated that he finds Tommy "fun" and enjoys fucking with him. Tommy was locked in the prison after Ranboo could no longer visit, so assuming he has no supernatural means of communication with Dream (which is likely, as we have no real indication otherwise), he would have been acting without instruction. What better way to help Dream out than getting him his 'plaything' for at least a week?
Alternatively, you could frame it as a distraction or a break in/out attempt... which also doesn't make sense for anyone but Ranboo. Either way you frame it, Ranboo is the only person who makes sense without having to stretch their relationship with Dream into something it isn't.
Tubbo's investigation was the only real in character investigation into this incident we saw. He started out investigating people who were online, which is why I believe it's uniquely relevant to this incident. As I mentioned earlier, Foolish's alibi was that he was live. Ranboo's alibi was that he was mining. If you recall, the day Tommy was locked into the prison, Ranboo acknowledged that he did not know what he had done that afternoon, and that he distinctly had not been mining. This investigation didn't get much further than this because Tubbo refused to acknowledge that Ranboo could have done something like this. Because Ranboo has hidden his enderwalking so well, no one has any reason to believe he would do something to intentionally hurt one of his friends, or to help Dream.
Canonically, there isn't much evidence outside of Ranboo's comments to the audience because the characters absolutely cannot find out that it was Ranboo. He cannot be revealed as a traitor, narratively. Not yet, at least. So all of the evidence has to be directed towards the audience, which leads to it falling into subtext more often than not. The Enderwalk arc has the potential for an absolutely disastrous reveal at some point, where others discover exactly what he has done. It's unlikely that something like this will be confirmed explicitly until that point, but I believe the details I have explored above are foreshadowing, and will be explored again at this reveal. This point applies to the nuke, as well--perhaps even more so for reasons I will explore below.
Second: The missing nuke.
This one treads a little more into theory territory, but I think some of the subtextual implication is in this one too, it's just a bit further apart. Instead of being implied in streams the day of the incident and one week later, these implications are a little bit further out. I don't think I'm necessarily stretching by making these connections, though I can see why someone may think it's a stretch.
Ranboo was not online during this stream. This is why I think that's only conditionally applicable to the last point--Tubbo does not check tab habitually, and he had chat turned off intentionally. The tab list isn't necessarily canon to this stream. If we go by that, Jack Manifold is physically the only person who could have taken the nuke. The only other people online were Philza and Foolish, who were both live. Since this wasn't taken into consideration for the investigations, it's not relevant here.
Out of character, Jack took the nuke. Jack did not stream his perspective of this incident, he hung behind when Tubbo went ahead to start building the silo, and when the two came back together later, it was gone. This was intentionally done, as Jack usually streams his perspective for lore like this. If he had been the one to take the nuke, we likely would already know. His secret plans are not a secret from the audience, they are a secret from other characters--this leads me to think that in character, he did not take the nuke.
Very few people knew about the nukes, so we already start with a pretty small pool of suspects. One of these people was Ranboo. Even if Ranboo did seem to forget what Tubbo told him, the nuke would have been taken while he was Enderwalking--y'know, when he remembers everything, or at least remembers more.
The backbone of this theory, and the reason why I even began to consider it, is that Ranboo has a very solid and clear motivation to want the nuke. Ranboo has been helping Dream. The nukes were made specifically to be a deterrent/protection against Dream. If Ranboo takes one of the nukes, Dream now has access to that nuke, and the playing field has been re-balanced. Essentially, it's creating Mutually Assured Destruction between them. To take it one step further, only one of the nukes went missing. Tubbo was left with one nuke, and Ranboo and Dream have one nuke. Why not just take both? Well, leaving both parties with a nuke essentially ensures neither side will use it. It protects Dream, but it also helps to maintain (a semblance of) peace. Neither side can use their nuke without the other retaliating in kind. This leads to tensions, but prevents outright warfare from either side. It's not pretty, but it aligns with Ranboo's broader goals of keeping the peace.
So we've got the motivation, it makes sense. But that's not enough to make the claim on its own. What's the evidence?
This is a touch convoluted, so I get why it doesn't necessarily come up in relation to this as evidence often, but it's pretty solid to me. Especially compared to how vague most of Ranboo's subtext can get.
It's in the lessons! The highest number of lesson we were given was 94, though when Ranboo was repeating it outloud, he said 93. He later clarified saying 93 was intentional. This stream was on April 23rd. 93 days earlier, to the day, was January 20th--the day Dream was locked in the prison. 93 lessons for 93 days. If we take this to imply the lessons were daily, starting when Dream was locked in the prison, each lesson corresponds to a specific day. March 26th was the day the nuke went missing. 67 days from January 20th is March 27th, the day after the nuke disappeared without a trace. Neither Jack nor Tubbo had any real leads on the nuke. Lesson 67, the day after the nuke was stolen... "Leave no evidence of what you have helped with." This EXACT thing is why the nuke is so hard to pin down. There was no real evidence left. This lesson lining up so closely to the nuke's disappearance is not a coincidence. Further, at this point Ranboo no longer had contact with Dream. He had locked himself out of the prison and couldn't visit. If the lessons are daily, the things he writes down are things he's figured out for himself. The lesson being the day after the nuke was stolen makes sense, when framed like that. He stole the nuke, left no evidence, and wrote that down because it worked.
All of the hints/foreshadowing for the eventual reveal of where the nuke disappeared to has to be done in retrospect, and it has to be either from Ranboo, or from some other source that knows more than the characters. Which leads into my second bit of evidence: the Tubbo Texts. Across like, a week of streams (starting on April Fools Day), spooky half transparency cryptic text appeared on screen periodically, that c!Tubbo was unaware of. Those texts have never been explored in canon, it seems that none of the characters are aware of them or of their contents. So they are posed directly to the audience. The second one in particular stands out to me here:
"Quick, I don't have much time. Stay away from the North. A strange metal weapon washed up. It poisons the nature, the water. No it's not. That's it, we are leaving."
The 'strange metal weapon' seems to refer to the nuke, the poison being the radiation. Geographical direction is rarely paid any mind on the server, but north is distinctly the direction of Techno, Phil, and Ranboo's house. I think I remember Ranboo telling Sam he lives "up north" while trying to visit the prison. The arctic commune is the only notable northward location. The nuke disappeared, and reappeared in the north, in the direction of Ranboo's home. The rest of the texts refer to the north as well. We don't know where Ranboo's base of operations is in the Enderwalk, but we can assume he has at least one, and we can assume the nuke is hidden there, if he has taken it. If Ranboo has taken the nuke, it makes sense for it to be in the North.
Ranboo has proven he can take things without any evidence left behind. Remember his first beacon, that disappeared like, a day after he set it up? He never tracked it down, just replaced it. Within a couple days, he made a comment about his pickaxe durability being suspiciously low... maybe because he was using the stolen beacon to mine far from his home base so it wasn't noticeable that he had been mining. That's beside the point. I mean this to say, he knows how to take and hide things, he knows how to keep secrets, and he almost definitely has at least one secret base we've never seen onscreen.
So maybe Ranboo took the nuke, maybe he set off the TNT at the prison, that's cool, but why have they abandoned the plotlines? Why have we never gotten more explicit answers? Why won't they come back to it?
Ultimately, it seems a lot of these plans have been pushed back and delayed for one reason or another. Beyond that, an untimely reveal of either of these things to other characters would be a huge letdown. The arc seems to be building to a catastrophically large reveal, and each thing that gets revealed before then makes it much less impactful. Keeping it subtle towards the audience, while still offering some hints, stops a certain degree of the chat spoiling "metagaming" we see sometimes, that makes some streamers have to fully ignore their chats during lore streams.
This part is very much my own opinion, but I don't believe the missing nuke plotline will be resurfacing until after Dream is out of prison. Ranboo has no reason to reveal he has it until it will be put to use, either as a nuke or as a threat, and that won't happen til Dream is out of the prison and the nuke is in his hands instead.
The TNT on top of the prison will be an insanely gratifying reveal if it comes out with the rest of the enderwalk stuff. Any of this taken out of that context just kinda falls flat. So people know Ranboo set off the TNT, or know he has the nuke. How does that propel the plot? Ranboo won't do much of anything about it. People will distrust Ranboo, sure, but they won't know the depth of the issue, and that just makes the reveal frustrating. It will be revealed in time, I'm sure, but I think the enderwalk arc has to reach a climax first, or it's just disappointing.
I agree with the general frustration that these plotlines appear to be dropped or greatly delayed, but it's a symptom of a bigger pacing issue than solving either 'mystery' on its own will fix. And the answers aren't as obfuscated as they first may seem, it just takes a little digging!
#dsmp ranboo#dsmp dream#dsmp tommy#dsmp tubbo#enderwalk#endersmile#dsmp analysis#dsmp#proud of this one tbh#it gets a little more meta than just talking about what happens on screen yk?#rbs appreciated!!
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I wanna talk about Natsuo Todoroki for a second here.
tw// mentions of abuse, self harm, and suicide
Natsuo visibly has the most emotional trauma out of anyone else in his family (Touya not included), and I really wanna talk about why that is.
For starters, we haven't seen him really smile since he was introduced in chapter 187. He's introduced as having a friendly, easygoing persona and it's easy to imagine this is how most people outside of his family know him. However, every time we see him appear since then, another layer of his trauma is revealed and expanded upon, and it cuts DEEP.
I think the main reason that Natsuo still seems so vulnerable compared to the rest of his family is different than what you'd assume. Fuyumi and Shouto both spend a lot of time around Endeavor, and have been in close proximity to his (relatively recent) decision to atone. They have seen his growth firsthand and come to terms with it. Rei has obviously taken a very different path to healing- not entirely voluntarily- but she has been working with doctors and therapists for years to change and recover and reconnect with herself and her children. Natsuo is off at college, and takes every opportunity he can to avoid Endeavor. He (understandably) wants nothing to do with him, and shows stagnant resistance to his attempts to atone.
The reason why Natsuo can't move on from the past is because his trauma didn't come from Endeavor. It came from Touya.
Now initially we were led to believe that it was simply Touya's untimely death that still bothers Natsuo, and it makes sense seeing how Endeavor drove him to the edge. Losing his best friend and brother as a young kid without parents to support him or any therapist to speak of can absolutely been the source of persistent emotional damage, but the more and more we learn about Touya's situation, the more evident it becomes that Natsuo's trauma is much much deeper than even grief.
Touya, as we know, was driven by an ambition instilled in him by his father and experienced extreme rejection sensitivity when those ambitions were no longer realistic. Touya's relationship with his parents could be described as insecure attachment, a psychological term primarily regarding how kids react and respond to their parents and other close relationships. As he was raised, Touya learned to equate his potential to be a hero with his personal worth and similarly confounded attention with love. The difference being, of course, that love is unconditional, but even attention was being continually directed away from him as a punishment for continuing to train and burn himself so he could once again become worthy in his fathers' eyes.
This is where Natsuo comes in. At first it was assumed that all of the Todoroki children were born out of Endeavor's strong-willed desire to have a child that could surpass All Might, but we learned that this isn't exactly the case. I'd argue that it was narratively poetic on Horikoshi's part once this was expanded upon. Fuyumi was born to support and encourage her brother, and that is the exact role she plays 23 years later, keeping her family together.
Natsuo's case is even more intersting.
It was bad enough if Natsuo was only born for the potential of his quirk, but it's even more sinister that the sole intent behind his birth was to discourage Touya from his ambitions. I'd say it was to replace him, but it was more to promote the idea that Touya was expendable than to raise aonther kid with the same ideals but the potential to actually achieve it, although that was definitely a secondary motivation.
The parallelism in this is how much Natsuo's life revolves around Touya. He was born because of Touya, he looked up to and took care of Touya as a kid, and the absence of Touya in the present continues to drive him and his decisions in life (but more on that later).
I continue to pray that we will eventually get more solid backstory on Natsuo and Touya's relationship as kids and where it cut off, wether on a bad note or not, but there are a few things we know for certain. One, Touya was mentally ill. Yes, he was rejected by his parents but he seems to have been particularly vulnerable to this compared to any of his siblings since he was the first of them and thus relied only on his parents for validation in his early years. He shows early signs of a variety of different mental disorders, particularly BPD, which I have previously written a whole analysis for on its own. Touya is shown self-harming both by the very nature of his quirk and even by very directly ripping his hair out. He was incredibly self-destructive.
This is why it is so much more concerning to me that Natsuo, who was AT LEAST four years younger than him, was his primary source of comfort. Natsuo was too young to have known anything more than 'my big brother is sad that daddy won't train him anymore' and he obviously wasn't equipped in any way to handle Touya's severe mental illness. Touya most definitely needed professional treaatment as his forms of coping were abnormal even for the neglect and rejection that he experienced. Natsuo comforted Touya through breakdown after breakdown, and more than that Touya relied on him and came to him voluntarily for support. Natsuo was the best option he had, and he took full advantage of that. The main source of Natsuo's trauma was Touya's reliance on him.
Not to say at all that this was in any way Touya's fault- he was mentally ill and desperately in need of some form of comfort to keep him sane; it was almost a survival method at this point since neither of his parents really acknowleged him at all anymore. Touya's instability hurt Natsuo more than parental neglect ever did, but it was the neglect that enabled it and striped Touya of the supportive atmosphere he would have needed at this point not only to prevent but to heal from the mental damage he had already suffered.
Natsuo dealt with this for years and you can see how much it hurt him to see Touya in so much pain, not only from Endeavor's rejection but from his own self harm as well. For Natuso to know that his brotherly love would never be the same as having loving parents; would neve be enough- but at least it was something so he continued to love and care about his brother for little in return- is indicative of the kind of character he is.
(Edit: After the events of chapter 302 we know that Natsuo's relationship with Touya wasn't perfect. I will elaborate more on this in a different post, but I just wanted to clarify that although we were shown a very high-tension scene between them, it is implied that this was a regular occurrence that Natsuo was usually more receptive too but tired out of, in addition to Touya's spiraling mental health. It fit with the natrative to show the tension Touya was feeling with his family from all directions, but Natsu and Touya clearly had a stronger relationship up to and before this point, evidenced by their sharing a room and playing together regularly.)
He is incredibly selfless, and it's interesting to note how many of his positive qualities as an adult stem from negative experiences as a kid. He never really felt love from his parents, so he relied on Touya (and likely also Fuyumi) for that as well. If he grew up learning he had to give love in order to recieve it back, it absolutely influenced who he became in the future, a solid example of this being the responsibility he feels to reach out and have a relationship with Shouto and further regrets that he wasn't able to help his abuse in the past either. Another aspect of his character that intruigues me is how gentle he is. Personality-wise he seems about as opposite as he could be from the awkward, stoic, emotionally-stunted person that is Endeavor.
There are a couple of reasons for this, beyond what I've already discussed.
One, he had little to no contact with elements of toxic masculinity growing up, especially not from Endeavor.
Two, most of the influence he did have growing up was from Fuyumi, who is established to have endlessly cared for him since he was a literal baby.
Three, he grew up in a household where almost everyone around him was in much more literal, immediate pain than he was so he developed a very strong sense of empathy that might also have been tied to early survivor's guilt.
Now I have one important distinction to make, and that's the temptation to label him as a 'softboy' or something of the like after seeing him caring for his family and more pointedly, watching him break down in tears during chapter 252. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with men being soft or vulnerable (on the contrary it's actually so so important and relevant that Hori is writing characters like this in a mainstream shounen manga but that's an essay for another time), it is unfair to label him as such based on a moment when his trauma is being exposed.
Because his truama stems from such a young age, there is a blurry line between just being born with more emotional intelligence and the situation he was in fostering those traits. You know, the classic nature/nurture thing. My point being, it's important to tread carefully when discussing the nature of his personality to avoid invalidating his trauma; I have no doubt that he is very strong for having survived these things, and the moments we see of him onscreen are definitely among his most vulnerable.
Another thing that people less familiar with Natsuo's character might assume is that he is hot-headed and argumentative. I thought that at first too- after all, he doesn't seem to shy away from yelling at Endeavor when given the opportunity. However, this doesn't seem to be the case at all.
The first real scene we see him in with Endeavor, the man walks into the room and Natsuo decides he can't handle it and goes to leave. However, Endeavor happens to be blocking the doorway. Endeavor physically stops him and provokes him to his face, asking him to say whatever is on him mind. While Natsuo is notably not confrontational, Endeavor is. I think it's fair to say that he felt at least uneasy at this gesture. Natsuo is very honest with his feelings, and it's obvious that he's pissed at the audacity of Endeavor to be so oblivious to his own son. This is presumably one of the first real interactions they've ever really had, and at this point Natsuo has been dealing with trauma (caused by Endeavor!) on his own for years, and Endeavor seems completely oblivious to his pain and dismmisive to the rest of the family's as well.
Again during the internship arc Natsuo tries to get along with Endeavor and this time he actually gives it a fleeting chance. Tensions are high, however, and the conversation very quickly becomes uncomfortable, at which point he leaves. It is continually implied that Natsuo is uncomfortable being around Endeavor because his very presence brings up painful thoughts and memories of a time when sharing the same space as him was a warning to run and hide. This is later directly confirmed by Natsuo as he says that every time he looks at Endeavor's face he remembers Touya and the pain he was in.
I feel like an important side note is that we have never seen Natsuo outside the context of his family, which is understandable, as the role he plays in the story directly relates to them. However, if you take a look at Shouto, even though his experiences have shaped him to become who he is, he definitely acts differently when Endeavor's not in the vicinity.
Back to Touya's death, it would be very rare that someone would mourn a death for an entire decade without finding closure unless there are other factors preventing it, and uncomfortably this seems to be the same thing for both Natsuo and Endeavor: guilt.
This is getting incredibly long already, but it's important to note that Natsuo probably felt an incredible responsibility to take care of Touya and protect him because of his empathetic nature. His love was never going to be the same as having loving parents. His encouragement was never going to be the same as having support from Endeavor. Even further than then neglect and abandonement, it was not being able to save Touya that really made Natsuo feel worthless.
He seems to try and remedy this inability to save Touya and diminish his guilt by doing everything he can to be better. He reaches out to Shouto to be a better brother, he consistently pushes his limits to entertain Fuyumi's notion of a happy family, and he's working hard towards a degree rhat will allow him to help people like Touya (and Rei) because he failed to do so in the past.
His bio mildly implies that he didn't have much of a direction he was heading in after high school, but Fuyumi's encouragement led him to seek out his current college career. This goes back to Natsuo's 'purpose' in a sense revolving arount Touya, from his birth to his relationship with him to his death, after which he lost his direction. They were always rather inseperable, so naturally their seperation hit Natsuo hard. He lost his direction in life so when Fuyumi encouraged him to rediscover it, he thought of helping people, because that's ultimately what he was born to do.
Thank you so, so much for reading this if you made it to the end! I clearly have a lot of thoughts on this. Let me know what you think about it as well, and hopefully we'll get more info on this soon in the manga :)
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