#potential big life changes on top of the holidays on top of seasonal depression

[running-tweezers]

It would be so cool if Things Would Stop Occuring

[purplesurveys]

1277

Who are you most nervous about introducing potential significant others to?  Ooooh moving forward, probably Angela hahahaha I have no idea how I’d break it to her if ever I do start seeing somebody again. She’s well aware of all the shit that I let slide so she might get intense with the scrutineering.

What is the most exciting thing about your life right now?  Just the fact that I feel on top of the world these days. My days of being depressed and picking at my insecurities seem to be far behind me and the change has looked to be apparent coming from friends who’ve told me I seem happier, louder these days.

What was the most important non-academic thing you learned in high school?  To not be scared to fight harder for the things you believe in or what make up your identity, coming from having to hide a same-sex relationship during that period. That feeling of being constricted and having to hide to stay on some conservative seniors’ good graces really pissed me off so high school was really crucial in letting me discover just how much I’d be willing to fight and test the waters to be able to live as me.

Have you ever had a job that deeply affected your personal life? How so and do you still work there?  Hmm no, not really. If anything my job is one of the things that helped make me a lot livelier and happier.

Do you have a “one who got away”?  It felt that way at the start when my view was still skewed, but it didn’t take long until I realized she was not a loss at all.

If you were in a superhero movie, would you be the hero or the villain? Hero.

If you found a mouse in your house, would you be frightened?  Mice or rats are the literal worst fucking thing I could see in my house. I definitely see myself making a big deal out of it lmao, especially rats.

Have you ever tried to perform magic tricks?  Nobody ever taught me, so no.

Can you do more with a yo-yo than just "go up and down"? Nah, which kinda makes me feel ashamed because considering it was a Filipino who invented the modern yo-yo, I feel like it should be my responsibility to know a few tricks LOL.

What is one form of technology that you wouldn't be able to live without?  Instant messenger.

Did you get an allowance, growing up? Why or why not?  Starting high school. Before that I was living in our family’s duplex, so my grandma could make packed meals for all of us – not to mention the fact that my parents were also still on their way to establishing themselves at their respective workplaces so we weren’t all that well-off yet. 

When we moved into our own place, we started with my mom making our meals but eventually it just proved to be time-consuming and a lot of work considering she also had a job to go to. With that and the fact that both my parents at that point already got a couple of promotions, we switched to allowance.

Would you rather go to a water park or an amusement park? Why?  Amusement parks though I would only probably head to the safer rides and food stalls with all the deep-fried offerings haha. I cannot handle more intense rides. On the other hand, water parks have always sounded nasty to me.

What is one instrument you wouldn't mind learning how to play?  Piano.

What's the longest amount of time you've had to wait in line for something?  The stupid LTO, because you can never count on government agencies to be efficient. Technically my whole time in there took a couple of stages, but all in all I spent eight hours there.

What is something that you would like to learn more about?  Korean. I just graduated from my Basic Korean 1 class but I already have plans to enroll in the following course, since I seemed to do well and I want to keep the momentum going.

What is something that one of your family member collects?  Mom has a large collection of chef-themed figurines and other sorts of trinkets like a chef timer, shot glasses, etc - but mostly the figurines - that she has displayed in a glass case. I should keep that in mind for when I start Christmas shopping, actually...she hasn’t updated that collection in a long time. Thanks for the idea!

Have you ever moved to a new school before? If so, how did it feel?  No, not in the middle of the same period since I went to the same school from kinder to high school for 14 years. I only “moved” when I started college. Like I’ve said in previous surveys, it felt freeing to finally not under be the hands of an environment ran by...well, Catholics. It was a culture shock to see rallies everywhere, to find out I could wear short shorts or even go to school naked if I wanted to, and to see boys in my class (I went to an all-girls), but it was all the good kind of shock.

Have you ever legitimately forgotten to do homework?  Always, because I never wrote them down.

Do you enjoy autumn leaves or spring flowers more? Why?  I experience neither season.

Depending on where you live, why might a day of school get canceled? Typhoon.

If you could meet any fictional character from a book, who would it be? Melanie Hamilton from Gone with the World.

What are some common places that people tour when they come to your city?  I rarely see foreigners here since my area isn’t particularly known for tourism; most go to the island provinces like Cebu, Aklan, Palawan, etc. If I had to recommend spots here, I’d tell them to go for Pinto and maybe the rooftop bars that offer a view of Manila’s skyline. 

What's one food that you did not enjoy as a child, but do as an adult?  Chicken curry, which I used to dread.

Would you rather have a mermaid tail, a fairy's wings or a unicorn's horn? I guess the wings just because I feel like it’s the only practical one.

What is an animal that you'd like to have as a pet but it's not allowed?  I don’t think that way about animals I can’t keep as pets anyway.

What are some things that you do to make the world a better place?  I always clean up at restaurants (my mom doesn’t understand why I do it because “the servers are here for a reason, Robyn”) but I always see the relief on their faces when they see I’ve stacked up the plates and cups so I don’t see a reason to stop doing it. I keep the door open for people who happen to enter/exit a building the same time as me, share dog adoption posts, don’t make a fuss about or towards a shop staff who messes up...things like that. I hope it’s able to help, even if just in a small way.

Has the last person you had sex with ever had sex with someone besides you?  I don’t know. I wouldn’t be surprised if she has already.

What’s your favorite store at your mall?  We have several malls within the vicinity but I like frequenting NCAT.

Have you ever done a workout DVD?  No but my mom is fond of those.

Who usually takes out the trash in your family?  Either of my parents.

What song are you currently obsessed with?  My Universe is soooooo good. It’s Coldplay’s classic sound but they somehow managed to perfectly blend in BTS’ style as well, so I love how it turned out.

When you go fishing, do you make someone else get the fish off the hook?  I've never gone fishing.

Do you take any prescription meds?  Nope.

What happens if you don’t take them?  Who was the last person you dreamt about?  My dad.

Do you prefer your tea sweetened or unsweetened?  Sweetened, though I don’t usually actively look for iced tea. I’d have it if it was served, but I don’t typically order it for myself.

How often do you honk your horn?  As long as I am annoyed, which gives my mom a mini heart attack every time because she insists I just let people have their way to avoid getting into fights. Sometimes when she’s driving and someone’s being stupid on the road I lurch forward to do the honking for her and it pisses her off soooooooooo much but it also gets the job done so *shrug*

Do you have any children? If so, names and ages? I don’t.

Have your parents ever witnessed you doing something inappropriate? What?  TMI but I almost got caught doing the m-word once but my reflexes were at lightning speed that day so when my door opened I was able to fix myself up and appear as though nothing was happening lol. My mom also saw a hickey on me once but I was able to veer the conversation away when she started inquiring.

Did you get babysat a lot as a kid?  No, I did the babysitting.

If you were the principal of a school, what would you do differently? Actually deal with teachers who mistreat or make issues towards their students. I had several teachers I know didn’t like me but I could never do anything about it because there was no way in hell the school was going to take my side.

Are you doing anything fun tomorrow?  Continued from yesterday. If I took this question yesterday to refer to today I would’ve answered yes because we actually have a really fun PR stunt scheduled for execution today, wherein we get to sponsor someone’s whole wedding from food to flowers to the host and fillm crew :D :D But tomorrow is just Monday so the real answer to this is no.

What is something you'd like to receive as a housewarming gift?  I dunno the usual housewarming gifts, but I would appreciate anything practical, or anything that you’ll need at the least expected times, like batteries or even like Sticky Tack.

How old were you when you first experienced the effects of puberty?  Oooh I was an early bird – I was 9 when I could first tell my first period was on its way; it came a month after I turned 10.

What is your least favorite holiday, and why?  I don’t dislike any holiday because they all mean a day off work lol.

What were some outdoor games you played as a child?  We usually played piko (hopscotch), our local version of freeze tag that we dubbed “Ice ice water” for whatever reason, and a garter game that we call 10-20. Dodgeball was a favorite during recess and lunch, too.

Did you accompany your parents on "Take Your Child to Work" Day? That’s not observed here, but my mom did use to take me and my siblings to her first workplace. Are cemeteries peaceful to you, or do they freak you out?  They’re actually more interesting to me than anything else. I like learning about the different lives of many different people, even if I only technically know them by their birthday and date of death. Sometimes the inscriptions would be more detailed and tell more about their life, sometimes I’d come across babies who only lived a few days...and it’s just interesting to have those glimpses into life.

Which ancient civilization would you be interested in learning more about?  Filipino, because Western colonization destroyed proof of most of it. 

Do you have better long-term memory or short-term memory?  Long.

What was the last situation that made you cry? Describe.  I cried this morning. Nothing bad or heavy, I just found myself thinking again about my mental state last year.

Which forest animal would you be most afraid to encounter?  Anything that wouldn’t hesitate to tear my limbs apart.

Do you believe in anything supernatural? (ie: spirits, etc)  No.

Has anyone close to you ever gone to war?  No. The closest link I have to the military, other than my dead great-grandfather, is Angela’s uncle who’s like a general or like a colonel or something, idk titles.

Have you ever experienced altitude sickness?  Yeah, occasionally. Pressure in the ear is a bigger nuisance to me, though.

Is there anything, any event, you wish you could remember more clearly?  The last time I saw my grandfather. My only clear memory of him that day was stepping out of the house to leave (my mom and I were visiting) and him sending me off with the message to always be kind and good. If I had known I would never see him again, I never would’ve left.

Have you ever rubbed anyone’s feet?  Hmm no, not that I can recall.

If you had to get advice from someone of the opposite sex, who would you go to?  I’d go to Hans for certain advice, but not for every single situation. He’s the only person that comes to mind.

What was the last new food/drink that you tried?  So last Wednesday I finally got to try this Instagram-based doughnut shop that I’ve been eyeing since August and it turned out to be even MUCH BETTER THAN EXPECTEDDDDDD. Like yeah their photos were always mouthwatering but I didn’t expect it to taste as good as it looks, since most pretty food I’ve encountered usually end up just tasting meh. Anywho, I got two orders of their sampler box and they served me their specialty bacon doughnut, signature brown butter, and a bunch of their chocolate and peanut butter variants and I loved every single fucking thing.

Have you had a good day today or was yesterday better?  Oh it’s hard to tell, it’s only 9:05 AM. Both days might be uneventful, though.

Have you ever played Sudoku?  I don’t actually get how to play it hahaha. I feel like I’m too stupid for sudoku.

Do you ever take surveys for money?  I tried it last year when applying for jobs was still a bitch for me, but the thing is most of those surveys look for employed participants so there was rarely ever a survey that fit me anyway.

Do you like Barbie or Bratz better?  Bratz.

Do you prefer purple or green grapes?  I don’t like grapes.

Who was the last person that made you laugh?  Idk, probs one of the boys since I was watching videos of them earlier today.

Where does your best friend live?  A nearby city.

Who did you last confide in?  Angela.

Does your car have an alarm?  Sure.

Where was your mom born?  Somewhere in Metro Manila.

What can always make you feel better no matter what?  My dogs.

What is something you’ll never eat again? Why?  I don’t think there is anything. I feel like I’m always bound to retry things and that I would be open to doing so, even fruits. One thing I’m firm about never drinking again, though, is coconut water. Get that SHIT away from me.

What is currently happening that is scaring you?  I’m not feeling scared these days.

Have you ever found a stranger’s note somewhere? If so, what did it say?  Probably. But nothing sticks out.

[elsanna-shenanigans]

December Contest Submission #12: Candles and Blankets

words: ca. 4,500 setting: mAU, candle shop AU lemon: not really cw: (SPOILER) fire, depression

Have you ever fallen in love with the gorgeous fiber artist across the street but she’s a really kind person and you aren’t sure if she’s into you or just being courteous, so you invite her to a romantic candlelit dinner for your own birthday in the back of your own candle shop?

Hey there.

My name is Anna, and …my life? Is pretty crazy.

I guess you could say the stars aligned for Elsa and I to meet.

It was a Tuesday.

New moon, new beginnings.

The sky was brightening with the dawn as I twisted my key around in the tricky lock. I really needed to call a locksmith soon, but I wasn’t sure if my business insurance covered new locks. Fires and floods, come at me; but an inconvenient lock… I probably wasn’t so lucky.

After a minute I finally heard the heavy click as my ears also noticed the sound of a car pulling up behind me. The hair on the back of my neck prickled, but instead of turning right around, I cautiously used the glass store windows to take a peek.

My shoulders relaxed. A blonde woman my age was behind the wheel.

I pretended to struggle even more with my key until I heard her get out of her vehicle. Then, I spun around with a smile on my face too bright for the hour.

“Good morning!” I greeted her. As she stepped into view to pay the meter, I couldn’t help but raise my eyebrows. You would’ve done the same if the most beautiful woman you’d ever seen just parked in front of your candle shop at 6:30 AM in the middle of October.

“Hi,” she smiled gently. I’d never seen eyes such an icy blue give off so much warmth on a chilly fall morning. She glanced up at my sign, ‘Anna’s Awesome Aromas,’ and her smile brightened. “Oh! Do you sell candles here?”

A little confused how she parked right in front of a shop she didn’t know sold candles, but not one to judge, I answered, “Yes! I make them and sell them. In fact, I’m Anna herself.” I offered my hand out to shake.

She leaned forward to shake with a cold hand and then gestured across the street at the vacant shop building. “I’m here to look at the building for lease. Nice to meet you! My name is Elsa.”

“Elsa! Wow!” This woman was flawless right down to the name. “Wait, you’re looking into Kristoff’s old place? Sweet, what’s your business?”

“Oh,” she nervously reached a hand behind her neck. “I just make blankets.”

“Just? That’s amazing! Do you knit?” I wasn’t about to let this stranger downplay her talents.

“I, um, knit, crochet, quilt, design fleece patterns, and mess with a few other styles every once in a while.”

“Wow, so you can do everything! That is so cool, Elsa. Seriously.”

Her cheeks were turning magenta. “I still have a lot to learn. I’d love to see your candle shop!” She said, deflecting the attention from herself. “Maybe after the realtor and I do our walkthrough I could take a look inside?”

“Absolutely!” I nodded. “In fact, if you’re done around lunch time, come on in and I’ll share my lasagna with you in the back. I brought enough for a small army.”

The way she smiled at me, crinkling her eyes, before she turned and walked across the street had my insides feeling… cozy. Comfortable.

Safe.

——————————

That Christmas was the best I’d had in a long time. Elsa had set up her blanket shop in early November, and we became fast friends. I never ate another lunch alone - we alternated between her office and mine, always able to keep an eye on whichever shop was unattended across the street.

December was a busy sales month for us both, with lots of customers needing candles and blankets to warm themselves and their loved ones in the cold holiday season. For that reason, I cherished our lunches as the only time we had to get to know each other as new friends. We both worked long days keeping our shops running smoothly and churning out new products in our evenings, often late into the night.

Neither of us had any employees, even a business partner, let alone a life partner; so sharing lunch with a like-minded and equally hardworking woman was honestly life changing.

The week leading up to Christmas was so busy with last-minute-gift shoppers, we called off our lunches to keep our shops open every precious minute. In a stroke of luck, Christmas fell on a Sunday, so we both closed up shop for the whole weekend, giving ourselves a true holiday.

Naturally, we spent it together. After convincing her she wouldn’t be intruding, Elsa came over to my apartment on Christmas Eve and we relaxed all day with no talk of businesses. She spent the night on my couch and our Christmas Day was filled with lazy cooking and laughter.

She gifted me a beautiful tree skirt that she knit especially for me with stripes featuring all my favorite blankets she’d made. For Elsa, I made a candle with ten different layers, because she was always saying her favorite scent was my whole shop, with all my aromas melding together.

“I can’t believe we gave each other the same thing!” She had laughed.

“It’s perfect,” I was grinning wider than I had in years. “We’re perfect,” I wanted to add.

—————————————

It’s amazing how something as simple as having a friend can make time fly by. As winter melted into spring, both Elsa and I were entering our “off season,” as people no longer craved the warmth our products provided. Even so, the days didn’t drag on.

I still lunched with Elsa every day and we never ran out of things to talk about, from crazy customer stories, to new products we’ve tried to create, to old childhood memories. There was always more to learn about each other, even after I thought Elsa might know me better than I knew myself.

But then there was the concern: did she know me well enough to figure out I had an enormous, ever-growing crush on her? And did I know her well enough to figure out if she might feel the same?

That was my main source of anguish as the weather turned as warm as my three wick candles.

Every day I sat with Elsa as she ate her chicken caesar salads or Taco Bell (there was no in between), and I ate my peanut butter sandwiches, or Campbell’s soup. And every day I’d stare at her light shining hair and blushed cheeks, as she smiled sweetly and laughed at all my jokes with a sound more gorgeous than fucking wind chimes. And every day I could feel myself falling further.

I used to live and breathe for my candle shop; I woke up with a purpose to create new scents and gorgeous colors, experimenting with different types of wax. It was usually what I dreamed about.

Now… I was dreaming about Elsa. I was waking up excited, not about how many candles I might sell that day, but how many times I might make Elsa laugh during lunch. Will she flash me that look, the one where her eyes sparkle and the corner of her mouth smiles, making it look just for a second that she had glimpsed my soul - and liked what she saw?

I just didn’t know what to make of it, because Elsa was too nice. She seemed to interact with everyone the way she interacted with me. Granted, nobody else got to spend lunch with her everyday, or talk about our small businesses together, or drop by to visit on our rare days off. But how was I supposed to find out if she was romantically into me without risking everything good that had come into both of our lives?

It was June when I had the idea. My birthday was coming up the following month, so why not plan something special? Something …romantic? Then if there was anything to blossom between us, it would have the perfect environment to happen without forcing anything or asking potentially devastating questions.

Perfect!

It wasn’t hard to plan out once I had the idea. I chose the restaurant I’d be ordering out from, and easily convinced Elsa to come over to my shop after we both closed.

I was wearing my favorite green summer dress - the flowy one with pockets - and kept my hair down for a change. At the stroke of 7 I closed up and headed out to pick up the dinner and suddenly it hit me. Was it weird to plan and host my own birthday dinner? A birthday dinner for only me and the girl I was in love with?

Well, it was too fucking late, if so. I came back with the food and spent the next half hour setting up a table with nice place settings and lighting my sexiest scented candles all around my office and store. As the sun set, eight o’clock rolled around and Elsa closed up her shop, too.

As I watched her delicately make her way to my side of the street, I chewed my lip. Here goes… everything.

I came to my shop door to let her in as she approached my dimly lit building, and was stunned by how beautiful she looked. She was wearing a shiny blue sleeveless top and tight white capris, with heels to match her blouse and the kicker - a white bow tie hanging untied around her neck. Her wavy hair was gently bouncing around her shoulders with each step. I opened the door for her and the bell above jingled loudly.

She beamed when she saw me, stepping inside to set down her leather backpack purse and white gift bag to give me a big hug. “Happy birthday, Anna,” she said softly into my shoulder.

“Thanks, Els,” I squeezed back, breathing in her perfume. It was my favorite scent, one I’d never quite been able to replicate at home - something between the ocean breeze and a floral woodland meadow.

As we pulled apart I glanced down her outfit one more time, “You look incredible.”

“So do you! And well, you said to dress nice, so… that’s what I’ve got,” Elsa laughed nervously.

“It’s perfect. So!” I clapped my hands together, “Shall we head to the back?”

“After you, lovely,” Elsa grinned and picked up her two bags again. As we walked she began to notice the candlelit atmosphere. “This is really something, Anna. You went through all this trouble just for the two of us?”

I winced. This was a weird thing to do… Play it cool. “Oh, it wasn’t much trouble at all! I thought we deserved something nice. Something special.”

“We do! Especially you, Anna. You work so hard.”

“Not as hard as you,” I countered, as we stepped into my cozy office. My desk was in the corner by the window-wall facing out to the street, and in the front area by the couch we usually ate our lunches on, I had set up our small dining experience.

The only light was from all the candles I had placed around the room; a few were on the little table itself, which also held our take out dinner that I already plated up.

“Wow!” Elsa was standing wide-eyed behind me, a huge smile creeping onto her face. “This is — it’s incredible. Did you get Romeo’s?” She recognized the food from the local fancy Italian restaurant.

“Bone apple teeth!” I grinned. “Shall we eat, before it gets any colder?” I said, gesturing to a chair.

As we settled in to eat, my racing heart calmed a little. This felt right, it felt like us, sharing a meal like we did every day. Just… fancy.

“I’m thankful you got me Alfredo,” Elsa said a few minutes into our meal. “Or my white pants may never be the same.”

“Oh man!” I said with spaghetti hanging out my mouth, “That was a lucky guess. Imagine if I made you get tomato sauce on your pants!”

Elsa laughed. “I imagine I’ll be taking them off.”

“What?”

“Um, I said I imagine I would be taking them off. If I stained them.” A blush was forming on Elsa’s cheeks.

I felt my face warming too, wondering if Elsa had meant what she had first implied. Then, Elsa set her fork down and took a deep breath.

“No, you know what,” she said, looking me intensely in the eye. “You went out on a limb here with this dinner, and so will I. Anna, I really like you.”

Was I supposed to hear the blood rushing past my eardrums?

“Everything has been better since you came into my life - or since I came into yours, whichever way you want to think of it.” Elsa smiled sincerely, “I didn’t realize what was happening right away, but I’ve known for a while now that I’m just - just helplessly in love with you.” Her gaze shifted down to the table as she kept talking, “It’s hard to pretend that I can keep my cool around you when all I feel is the warmth of friendship, of …love. Of something deeper. Something I’ve never felt before, and I’d never want to feel with anyone who isn’t you.”

She cleared her throat and looked me in the eye once more, “So, if this dinner was your way of saying you might share some of those feelings for me too… first of all, at this point I fuckin hope it was; and secondly… that was it, I can’t remember…”

By the time Elsa had trailed off her words, I was next to her chair, cupping her face with my hands. “Can I kiss you?”

She touched one of my hands, holding it to her cheek as she stood up. Taking a step away from the table, Elsa slid her other hand behind my waist. There was a moment we just looked into each other’s eyes as the pull between us became stronger. “Please,” was all she whispered before our lips came together like the pages of a closing book.

I had never kissed anyone - I had… no idea it could be like this. Her lips were so soft as they moved with mine, and it felt like they were asking permission with each caress. A small tear escaped one of my closed eyes.

I felt so emotional as she ran her fingers through my hair, stroking my scalp. She - Elsa, she wanted me, too. She loved me, too. And I realized I hadn’t actually said that yet — I pulled away suddenly and watched her open her eyes in surprise.

“I love you, Elsa.”

She smiled in relief.

I rested my forehead against hers, standing on my tiptoes to reach. “I just wanted to make that clear.”

***

We did not finish our meal.

The folding chairs sat forgotten as I laid Elsa down on the nearby couch and straddled her hips as we both reached for clothes we no longer wished to wear. I took a second to be grateful for the partial wall that blocked the couch from the view of anyone passing by the shop’s windows.

Elsa tugged on one end of her bow tie and it slipped out from behind her neck in one fluid motion - probably the sexiest move I’ve ever seen.

As I lifted my dress above my head, Elsa was gazing up at me, hypnotized. I let the dress fall to the floor beside us. “You’re falling a bit behind, love.” All she had taken off was her tie, and I already sat in my under garments.

She reached for the bottom of her blouse. “One advantage to dresses I suppose,” Elsa said. “If you’re into that.” She sat up a little to whip the shirt off, exposing a black sports bra.

“God, how are you so hot?” I didn’t let Elsa answer before leaning down to kiss her again. I reverently felt her soft skin as I ran my palms over her sides and found the small of her back. “I’ve, er, never done this before.”

Elsa gave a slight squeeze to my hips. “Me neither. It’s ok. We can figure it out together, but I’m probably gonna need to take my pants off first.”

I laughed, “Alright, I’ll get up.” When I planted a foot on the floor and stood up, I paused. I took another breath through my nose. “What’s that smell…?”

Elsa looked at me. She sniffed the air. “Is something burning?”

I turned to the doorway leading into the hallway to the store. An orange glow far too bright made my heart drop and my stomach fill with dread.

“On second thought, keep your pants on.” I grabbed Elsa’s top, threw it at her, and grabbed my dress, pulling it on haphazardly. I ran to the doorway and stopped when I saw how big the fire was in my shop. It looked like everything was engulfed in flames. Nothing could be saved from there. Oh my god.

Pop!

Pop pop!

Candles on my shelves were exploding. Oh god oh god oh god.

“We gotta get outta here!” I slammed the office door shut to hold off the blazing heat of the main store’s fire, trapping us in my office. I ran to the wall of windows by my desk, grateful there was no second floor.

Elsa met me at the wall with her bags. “Can we send this through the windows?” She pointed at my filing cabinet.

Together we pushed the metal cabinet to the window wall and then heaved our combined body weight into it, sending it crashing through the panes. Shards of glass rained down on us, but only a few pieces were sharp enough to cut. The cabinet toppled over onto the pavement outside.

I pushed out a few extra pieces of glass to make way for us to squeeze through. After I got out I helped Elsa climb in her heels, over the filing cabinet out onto the sidewalk. Together we pulled it farther away from the building.

“You call 911 and stay back from here,” I yelled as I ran back to the broken glass. “I have to get a few more things.”

Elsa looked terrified as she pulled her phone out of her pocket and took more steps backward into the deserted street. Turning toward my shop, my hand shook as I reached forward, crouching through my broken window, back into my smoldering office.

The room was starting to fill with smoke and almost constant candle explosions could be heard through the wall. I decided the most important things to get out first were my computers. I grabbed my laptop and quickly unplugged everything from the desktop computer tower. I didn’t need the keyboard or monitor.

Stifling a cough, I crouched through the glass and carried the computers to the curb. As soon as they were down safely, I turned and ran back in.

I couldn’t help but cough this time. Soon the door holding back the inferno would bust - or maybe the shared wall would be engulfed first. Either way, I was running out of time. The air was so, so hot.

One of the candles across the room burst. A searing hot glass shard lodged itself in my arm, near my elbow. I screamed, brushing it away, and the scream turned quickly to more coughing and sputtering.

Through the attack on my lungs, I grabbed everything I could hold off my desk - my purse included, and made my way out as fast as I could.

As I climbed out onto the sidewalk, I felt the office door behind me blow out. In the split second I had, I hurled everything I was carrying as far out as I could and then threw myself to the side in an attempted barrel roll just as the fireball rolled out and licked at my heels.

I sputtered and coughed on the ground as Elsa sprinted over to me. She grabbed a flat piece of debris and swatted at the edge of my dress that had caught fire. Once it was out, she lifted me over her shoulder and took me over to her building where she had been taking the items I rescued from my office.

Setting me down gently, she kept my hand in hers. “They’re on their way.”

My coughing still wouldn’t let up but I couldn’t actually feel my aching lungs anymore, or even the searing gash in my arm, as I sat on the concrete, numbly watching my store go down in flames.

Watching everything I worked for burn away.

———————————————

I didn’t notice August.

They held me at the hospital for two days for the smoke inhalation, my burn wound, and other minor cuts. Then I was released and I sat in my apartment.

I didn’t have a job to go to. My work was gone.

The insurance claim was going to take 90-120 days to go through but they assured me I would be covered for the total loss. So I wouldn’t go into massive debt, but I still mourned. I had no business, no product, no motivation.

So I sat.

I threw out all the candles in my home.

Maybe it was anger, maybe it was guilt, but it most definitely was fear. I never wanted to see another candle again in my life. The destruction they caused - my own creations did this to me. My own negligence. My own lust.

I had also shut Elsa out.

I knew it wasn’t fair to her but I couldn’t even think about her without reliving the terror of the fire. I just couldn’t handle seeing her… so I said I needed space, I needed time to recover alone.

It’s been over a month though, and while the pain still hasn’t gone away, now loneliness has joined it in my torment.

I missed Elsa so much it hurt. And not even in the we-didn’t-even-get-to-have-sex way; I missed my friend.

A week into September, Elsa begged me to come to her apartment. She said she just needed to see I was ok, just needed to talk.

It wasn’t a hard decision with the way I felt like I was dying without her in my life. But I needed her to initiate it or my guilt never would’ve allowed me the opportunity. So I went.

I couldn’t bring myself to change out of the sweats I’d been wearing for at least a week, but I managed to put on deodorant. My hair was pulled into the cleanest messy bun I could muster. It would probably be the bags under my eyes that she would comment on first. The two main subjects of my dreams were now either nightmare fuel or guilt trips, so I had barely been sleeping.

The biggest surprise to me when I met her outside were the matching bags under Elsa’s eyes.

As I walked to her she met me halfway with a warm hug. I saw the look of mixed relief and concern on her face as she took in my appearance.

“Anna,” she whispered as she held me close.

I drew in a shaky breath. “Els,” my reply was like a reflex and I melted into her embrace. With a little sadness I noticed she wasn’t wearing her perfume, but everything else about the hug was all that I had been craving.

“Come on,” she led me into her apartment.

It wasn’t hard to tell I wasn’t doing ok, and neither was she for that matter, so the question was never brought up. Instead she made me tea and held me on the couch, murmuring soft things like, “I’ll keep you warm.”

When I was calm from the tea, Elsa went to get something from another room. She returned with the white gift bag from my birthday, though it might have been replaced with a new gift bag, given how pristine it still looked.

“I still want you to have this, Anna,” she said softly. “But first let me tell you about an idea I’ve had. I just want you to listen to it, no need to respond right away.”

I nodded.

She sat back down with me. Her voice never raised above a light trickling of a fountain as she spoke, “I can’t begin to imagine what you’ve been going through. But I do know what trauma feels like. So I have a clue about what you may be feeling toward what you used to do; what you used to love doing now feels painful. Maybe even terrifying…”

Elsa took my hand in hers. “I got this idea a couple weeks ago when I accidentally dropped my bottle of perfume into your gift bag.” She chuckled grimly. “It all spilled out and your present soaked it up.”

She reached down into the bag and turned her head to me, “Would you mind closing your eyes?”

I closed them.

With a soft whoosh, a thin, but nicely heavy blanket settled onto me. As I breathed through my nose, suddenly a wave of familiar comfort washed over me. Her perfume was scenting the whole blanket. I wanted to cry. “Elsa,” I whispered, my hands shaking.

She rubbed my leg through the fabric. “I know, sweetheart,” Elsa sat back into the couch, cuddled close to me and I kept my eyes closed as she continued to talk. “After that happened, I thought… nobody really does this. Creating scented oils just for the purpose of dripping onto fabric like blankets for an extra comforting experience. Like I know essential oils exist, but that’s just the beginning of the potential you would have if you, say… wanted to become my business partner, to create scent drops for my blankets…”

She trailed off and let that sit there with me to think about. I felt the same revelation she probably experienced coming up with the plan. “Elsa,” I said with my eyes still closed. “That’s brilliant. When I’m ready… I would love that.”

I felt her sigh with relief. “Can I see the blanket now?” I asked.

She sat upright, “Here let me hold it up for you to see. It might bring up some emotion. I swear I had no idea what was going to happen when I was making it…”

The blanket was lifted off of me. I slowly opened my eyes to see… a perfect image of my shop in all her glory, hand stitched and glowing softly yellow through the windows. Around the edges of the blanket were the words, “Anna’s Awesome Aromas,” repeated in a pattern. I sobbed.

“I’m sorry,” Elsa said, gathering up the blanket. “It’s too soon, I shouldn’t hav—“

“Stop,” I said while tears dripped down my face. “It’s perfect,” I stood up and flung myself into her arms, making the blanket fall to the floor at our feet.

“You’re not upset?” she asked.

“I’m only upset that I shut you out for so long. I’m sorry,” I held her tight. “You are everything I need, how could I not see that?”

“It’s ok,” Elsa kissed my forehead. “Some things aren’t meant to be seen; they have to be felt, or smelled, maybe tasted.”

With a gentle kiss, she began my healing.

[yourreddancer]

Months after winning his 1941 Academy Award for best actor in “The Philadelphia Story,” Jimmy Stewart, one of the best-known actors of the day, left Hollywood and joined the US Army. He was the first big-name movie star to enlist in World War II

.An accomplished private pilot, the 33-year-old Hollywood icon became a US Army Air Force aviator, earning his 2nd Lieutenant commission in early 1942. With his celebrity status and huge popularity with the American public, he was assigned to starring in recruiting films, attending rallies, and training younger pilots

.Stewart, however, wasn’t satisfied. He wanted to fly combat missions in Europe, not spend time in a stateside training command. By 1944, frustrated and feeling the war was passing him by, he asked his commanding officer to transfer him to a unit deploying to Europe. His request was reluctantly granted

.Stewart, now a Captain, was sent to England, where he spent the next 18 months flying B-24 Liberator bombers over Germany. Throughout his time overseas, the US Army Air Corps' top brass had tried to keep the popular movie star from flying over enemy territory. But Stewart would hear nothing of it.

Determined to lead by example, he bucked the system, assigning himself to every combat mission he could. By the end of the war he was one of the most respected and decorated pilots in his unit.

But his wartime service came at a high personal price

.In the final months of WWII he was grounded for being “flak happy,” today called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).When he returned to the US in August 1945, Stewart was a changed man. He had lost so much weight that he looked sickly. He rarely slept, and when he did he had nightmares of planes exploding and men falling through the air screaming (in one mission alone his unit had lost 13 planes and 130 men, most of whom he knew personally).He was depressed, couldn’t focus, and refused to talk to anyone about his war experiences. His acting career was all but over.

As one of Stewart's biographers put it, "Every decision he made [during the war] was going to preserve life or cost lives. He took back to Hollywood all the stress that he had built up.”

In 1946 he got his break. He took the role of George Bailey, the suicidal father in “It’s a Wonderful Life.” The rest is history.

Actors and crew of the set realized that in many of the disturbing scenes of George Bailey unraveling in front of his family, Stewart wasn’t acting. His PTSD was being captured on film for potentially millions to see.

But despite Stewart's inner turmoil, making the movie was therapeutic for the combat veteran. He would go on to become one of the most accomplished and loved actors in American history.

When asked in 1941 why he wanted to leave his acting career to fly combat missions over Nazi Germany, he said, "This country's conscience is bigger than all the studios in Hollywood put together, and the time will come when we'll have to fight.”

This holiday season, as many of us watch the classic Christmas film, “It’s A Wonderful Life,” it’s also a fitting time to remember the sacrifices of Jimmy Stewart and all the men who gave up so much to serve their country during wartime. We will always remember you!

Postscript:

While fighting in Europe, Stewart's Oscar statue was proudly displayed in his father’s Pennsylvania hardware store. Throughout his life, the beloved actor always said his father, a World War I veteran, was the person who had made the biggest impact on him.

Jimmy Stewart remained in the USAF Reserve following the war, retiring as a Brigadier General in 1968. He was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1985 and died in 1997 at the age of 89.-

- Ned Forney, Writer, Saluting America's Veterans

[mysterylover123]

My Top 10 Christmas Episodes

mysterylover123

Everyone has a favorite Christmas Episode. That time of year from your favorite shows where the characters celebrate the holidays along with you, usually accompanied by big changes in their lives, gaudy decorations, and creative traditions. I’ve included my top 10 here, along with some honorable mentions. I’ve excluded Christmases I liked from book/film/comic book series, thought I think in 2 years time there will be a grand new edition to the list (aka My Hero Academia). Hope you all like them and have a Merry Christmas! 

#10. Futurama “Xmas Story” Airdate: 12/19/1999

I don’t broadcast it much, but I love classic Futurama. This little gem of a Christmas episode - sorry, X-mas episode - is a common staple of “Best Christmas Episode” lists, and for good reason. It’s one of those “dark” Christmas stories, featuring a murderous Santa Claus robot, Fry dealing with being 1000 years in the future where his old traditions have died, and some good bonding moments among the cast of Planet Express. I particularly like the “gift of the Magi” joke with Amy and Hermes, and the Harold Lloyd reference with Fry on the clock tower.  

#9. X-Men Evolution “On Angel’s Wings” Airdate: 12/15/2001

X-Men Evolution is a nostalgic favorite of mine - my introduction to the X-men in high school, the first show I ever read fanfiction for, etc. It’s Christmas episode has a very warm feeling to it, a rare dip into sentimentality for the show. It deals with Scott and Rogue going to recruit Angel for the X-Men while the others are home for the holidays, and clashing with Magneto in their attempts to do so. I’m always down for an episode focused on Rogue, and her bond with Scott over being the X-Men without families to go home to is great. The little montage that ends the episode always puts a smile on my face.

#8. The Simpsons “Holidays of Future Passed”  Airdate: 12/11/2011

I heard this one was thought of as a potential series finale for The Simpsons, as a bit of closure for their premiere (another christmas Episode, “Simpsons Roasting on an Open fire”, which I like but find a little too ‘early Simpsons’ to make the list.). Honestly, I wish it had been. Modern Simpsons is generally such a mess, it would’ve been nice to see it get such a dignified end in Season 23. This one is a great little trip to the future of the family, and it really feels like a nice vision of what could become of them somewhere down the line. I like that this one gives Homer a chance to be a good grandad, and a bonding moment between Lisa and Bart. I hope this is where they really do end up.

#7. Frasier “Frasier Grinch” Airdate: 12/19/1995

Frasier is the only show that ended up landing 2 Christmas episodes in my Top 10. And I felt I still had to cut a few of them that could’ve made the list easily. This series really had a knack for the Christmas episode. My 2nd favorite, obviously, is this little offering from Season 3, which deals with Frasier trying to get Freddy gifts in time for the holiday when the ones he ordered got misdirected. It ends up touching on an aspect of the holidays I wish would get covered a little more often: when you buy others Christmas gifts, are you getting them what they actually want, or just what you think they should want? Overbearing Frasier has made this blunder, and the episode helps him learn that lesson. Though as usual Niles steals the show. Niles in a toy store trying out a doofy hat is more than worth the #7 spot.

#6. Friends “The One with the Christmas in Tulsa” Airdate: 12/12/2002

Friends has a lot of Christmastime episodes, but most of them are just kinda coincidentally set around the holidays. Only a few stand out as actual “Christmas Episodes”. While I enjoy “Holiday Armadillo”’s comedy and “Creepy Holiday card”’s sentimentality, my standout favorite is this one, the last Christmas episode they did, perhaps because Chandler and Monica are my favorites on the show and their romance is the OTP. This one deals with Chandler away from home, working on Christmas at a job he hates and being separated from Monica. Through some clips and a bit of soul searching, he decides to finally quit the job he hates and pursue something he wants to do. It’s a great example of how to do a clip show/Christmas episode well, move characters forward, and remind us of why we love these two together.

#5. Buffy “Amends” Airdate: 12/15/1998

This one would probably be higher if there wasn’t so much Bangel melodrama in the last 10 minutes (sorry fans, I really hate Bangel). But the rest of it is more than good enough to put Buffy’s sole Christmas episode at #5 for me. What I love the most about this one is, well, the ‘amends’ of the title. Xander starts making up for 3 seasons of douchebaggery by being a good friend. Willow makes up with Oz. Buffy makes up with Faith. That latter one puts the biggest smile on my face of the bunch; it’s bittersweet, given what happens, but when Faith shows up on Buffy’s doorstep with presents for her and Joyce, my small Grinch heart grows three sizes each time. Definitely a must-watch.

#4. Parks and Recreation “Christmas Scandal” Airdate: 12/10/2009

Parks and Rec has 3 Christmas episodes and they’re all pretty good. I debated between this one and “Ron and Diane”, but since that one is more about Ron’s award ceremony, I decided to go with Season 2′s. This one is a very “Parks and Rec” kinda Christmas, dealing with Leslie getting involved in a dumb sex scandal, the Parks department putting on a “Winter wonderland” on Lot 48, some dating drama about Ann and Leslie and their boyfriends (At this point, since Ben and Chris weren’t around yet, Mark and Dave), and a very cute hug between a pre-marriage April and Andy. The biggest win in this one is the sheer Christmas atmosphere. It practically glows off the screen.

#3. How I Met Your Mother “False Positive” Airdate: 12/13/2010

HIMYM is another one with a lot of candidates, but “False Positive” really stands out to me as something special. It’s essentially an “It’s a wonderful life”-style story (as they’re going to see the movie) where Lily’s false positive pregnancy test inspires the friend group to each choose the more responsible path in life of their two choices, only to chicken out when the false part of the title is revealed. The way the episode ends is absolutely spectacular, a standout moment to me among the series’ many strong character moments, and leads to strong development for all around going forward. Definitely a highlight of HIMYM’s 6th season, and an episode full of  Christmas imagery, soul-searching, and classic plotlines.

#2. Frasier “The Fight Before Christmas” Airdate: 12/16/1999

My favorite Frasier Christmas episode feels like it combines a little bit of everything that makes the other ones good: a KACL office Christmas party with a whacky theme (we finally see it instead of having it going on in the background!), Frasier being pompous about Christmas celebrations and ending up karmically punished for it, a comedic scenario which crafts a comedy of errors, Martin’s decorating. In many ways though, the highlight of this one is how deftly it handles the romance reveal from the previous episode between Niles and Daphne. in the midst of all the crappy Christmas rom coms, it’s easy to forget how strong a good Christmas set romance can be, and the moment of tension as Daphne tries to reject Niles but just can’t quite do it is a standout for me. Definitely my favorite of Frasier’s 8 xmas episodes.

Hon. Mentions: Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire, Batman Christmas with the Joker and Holiday Knights, Frasier Perspectives on Christmas, Parks and Rec Ron and Diane, HIMYM How Lily Stole Christmas.

#1. Smallville “Lexmas” Airdate: 12/8/2005

This one isn’t just a Christmas episode. It’s pretty much the Ultimate Christmas episode. Where to begin? A fancy Christmas party jam-packed with colorful decor. Superman - Clark - delivering presents as Santa for the Daily Planet. Clark talking/saving a depressed mall Santa (or is he real?) from committing suicide with an emotional heart to heart. Sweet family Christmas  celebrations (right before tragedy strike in the next episode). But of course, the real highlight of this one is Lex’s Alternate Reality fantasy. After getting shot, the titular Luthor has a vision of what his life could be like if he did the right thing, essentially an “It’s a Wonderful Life” style alternate reality. However, that reality ends in tragedy, and the tragic twist of the episode is that instead of leading the Grinch’s heart to grow, the Christmas dream only serves to help solidify Luthor’s fall to the dark side. It is certainly juxtaposed with enough holiday magic and hope to offset that depressing ending, but I will admit to liking a bit of subversion in my stories now and then. Everything Christmas episodes could have is jam-packed into this episode. 

[aquasheik]

Several business with the incredible capacity

Small companies take many shapes and sizes. According to a record by StorageWorks in 2016, these are among the sectors as well as locations of a company with the highest internet revenue margins, or the percentage of earnings left after eliminating expenses related to supplying items and also solutions. While not an ideal sign of profits, these sectors provide fantastic possible for those looking for a stable, safe market in which to release a recently established enterprise. Click the following to the advancement site!

1 Physician Workplaces

Medical professionals offer a needed function in all locations of society, developing a means for people to attend to both significant as well as small health and wellness complaints. Doctors can detect ailment, create personalized treatment plans, and also, if needed, admit individuals to regional health centers to deal with severe conditions. While the private practice climate has changed over the last several decades, relocating away from standard little offices to a consortium model, clinical offices can still provide a profitable company possibility.

Ordinary net profit margins for clinical methods been available in around 11.5 percent, showing substantial potential for interested business owners. While the obstacles to access are very high-- physicians must participate in four years of undergraduate education, four years of clinical college, a minimum of 3 years of residency, as well as pass all licensing examinations-- the price of service can offset high labour expenses. Insurance policy compensations can be tens of thousands of dollars for straightforward treatments, offering substantial income in exchange for on-demand services.

2 Food Vehicle Procedure 

Typically seen as the new frontier in food solution, food trucks are making a mark in virtually every significant metro area. Offering a hassle-free as well as an affordable alternative to sit-down dining establishments that typically surpass convenience food and fast-casual dining establishments in terms of high quality, food trucks are a trend that shows no sign of waning. Today, there more than 4,000 food trucks in operation, comprising a sector valued at $1.2 billion.

Beginning a food vehicle is a reasonably inexpensive endeavour, with the lowest price quotes can be found in under $30,000. While a car can be pricey, a fully furnished food vehicle still calls for significantly much less funding-- both in the beginning and also throughout operations-- than a physical restaurant.

While a traditional dining establishment is stuck in its blocks, food vehicles can extend their reach as well as travelling to different communities and also events to gain a cult-like complying with for their most recent dessert-based empanada treat. Most importantly, they can accept contemporary Factor of Sale (POS) innovation like an iPad sales register to phone deals as well as track consumers.

While no education and learning are practically needed to start a food vehicle, successful business is usually run by practiced cooks who can compose and also carry out an excellent food selection.

3 Landscaping as well as Gardening

From golf courses to property houses, landscapers play a vital duty in beautifying homes of all shapes and sizes. Offering solutions like mowing, plant food therapies, planting and cultivating new development, landscaping companies can discover jobs practically anywhere by supplying solutions that might not be feasible for homeowners and also local business owners to carry out individually.

The cost to start up a landscaping firm is tiny; with no modern room called for outside of storage space and a modest investment in landscape design equipment, it's feasible to get off the ground for $10,000 to $20,000. Thought about mainly unskilled work, human funding costs are usually reasonable in this market too.

Landscaping companies might encounter concerns in chillier climates that see heavy snowfall, as well as thus experience no requirement for mowing, gardening, or yard therapies throughout the winter. However, lots of enterprising companies supply raking and salting when the weather condition turns, changing seasonal solutions right into a year-round operation.

4 Institutions and Direction

Educators provide a global requirement, supplying required abilities and also sources for youngsters as well as adults alike. Taken into consideration an essential part of self-improvement as well as a lawful demand early in life, the education industry commands billions of dollars on an annual basis.

Electrical outlets for education exist in several kinds, giving a wide-open field for those interested in possibly educating or coaching developing minds. Professionals can operate in locations including:

While all academic models have different frameworks and goals, the sector's average web revenue margin is a respectable 10.5 percent. This is mostly due to the reduced requirements for the establishment in many of the much more secondary services in the industry; tutoring as well as examination prep companies, for example, do not necessarily need a physical area or significant assets.

While employing educators can mean dealing with those with training licenses as well as college education and learning, tutors and test preparation staff members are typically university students or recent grads, offering a pool of lower cost, active labour.

5 Celebration Providers

There's no wrong time for an event, making the event services sector an excellent chance for those seeking security and also profitability. Even in times of economic depression, weddings, birthday celebration events, as well as company holiday parties, remain to play a role in social schedules, offering constant profits streams. On top of that, event solutions can be flexible as well as versatile, covering planning, event catering, bartending, and offers, to name a few functions.

Party-focused operations have considerable earning potential, boasting minimal expenses, the capability to costs virtually all outside costs, like alcohol, to customers, and also comprehensive services. This allows for employment opportunities in a wide variety of events. Furthermore, some solutions used by celebration firms, like offering alcohol or food service, require different licenses and certifications, making this a task most event hosts can not do alone. Even with this, labour costs are frequently reduced, as bartending, offering, and arranging do not demand formal education and learning.

Least Profitable Local Business

In taking a look at the most rewarding small companies, it is essential to check out the other side of the coin: those companies with limited margins that make maintaining profitability even more of an obstacle. By typical internet profit margins, these are the least lucrative small businesses of 2016.

Oil as well as gas extraction (-7.6%): With such high overhead expenses, even the profits available in this high-demand field can't make up the large equipment and human funding demands.

Assistance activities for mining (0.6%): Mining can be incredibly costly, calling for substantial equipment expenditures, very educated labour, and also slow-moving procedures, leading to income streams that can not always sustain costs.

Beverage manufacturing (0.8%): The combination of expensive manufacturing tools, storage facility room, and incredibly low-cost items makes it tough to begin in the beverage market.

Grocery as well as related item vendor dealers (1.9%): With many various item sources, consisting of large as well as small ranches and suppliers, sourcing and also supplying groceries leaves little room for big profits.

Grass and also Garden Supplies Stores (2.0%): While possibly lucrative in states like Florida as well as California, the majority of areas of the country do not need year-round access to grass as well as garden devices, making it hard to get ahead in this specific niche area.

[singingwordwright]

It's been so long since your last thread/analysis about #SaveShadowhunters. I see you continue to rts the hashtag, but what do you think? Now that the show is over, do you think it can get saved?

I’ve been looking at this ask for 24 hours trying to figure out how to answer, and I’m still not sure. Because I don’t want to take away anyone’s hope, but at the same time I don’t want to offer false hope.

This is long, so I’ll put it behind a cut. 

I stepped back from actively promoting #SaveShadowhunters and indulging in “cancellation meta” toward the end of last year for myriad personal reasons. More than one person very dear to me had multiple health crises, I was nursing a dying cat including hand-feeding for two months, the holidays were looming, I needed to go help my sister while she had surgery for her brain tumor, my self-absorbed, alcoholic mother finally pushed me to the point of writing her out of my life, finances were a big problem, all of this was contributing to my depression getting worse, and then to top it all off, The Toy Story Incident happened.

That was the final straw for me. I’ve said before that I’m not good at knowing when to give up on something. I was angry about the cancellation, but I was also making a concerted effort to NOT be angry and to accept the 25 Days of Teasers offerings graciously and with a positive attitude and to welcome the coming half season with joy, whatever the outcome for the show. Then that happened and the fact that @freeform was actively deriding and mocking our efforts filled me with such rage that I had to walk away from the whole thing. Because that sort of anger isn’t good for me and I just had too much else already weighing me down. I needed to keep Shadowhunters as a bright spot in my life, and the frustration of trying to save the show was preventing me from taking pleasure in the show.

I also, since that horrid letter from Constantin was released in August, have been firmly of the opinion that we’d had as much impact as we were going to be able to have, and that any decisions that had been made or would be made regarding the fate of the show were no longer within our sphere of influence. It would happen regardless of what we did or didn’t do. I stand by that. While it doesn’t hurt to gently remind people we’re still here from time to time, the messages we needed to send had already been sent.

All that said, your question is, do I think the show can be saved. To which my answer is a qualified “no.”

No, because I absolutely do not believe we’ll get a season four. If the show continues, I believe it will happen in the form of a spin-off (and not a TID spin-off, which I don’t really think of as a spin-off, anyway. That’s another animal entirely.)

Why? For myriad reasons, many of which arise from information that was not available to us early in the cancellation timeline.

Early on, we had a suspicion that the burgeoning Netflix/Disney pissing match had played some role in our cancellation, but the absolute cancellation carnage of all the Marvel shows on Netflix has cemented that tensions between Disney and Netflix are a much bigger factor than we knew.

We’ve also gotten a better picture now into Netflix’s decision-making process, particularly with the ODaaT cancellation. @bonibaru linked a Deadline Hollywood article on Twitter at one point that basically laid it all out. The bottom line is that for Netflix, with series that are not owned and produced by Netflix, there is little to no profitability for shows beyond their third season unless they’re tremendously, HUGELY popular. Like, juggernaut-type popularity. They don’t bring in enough new subscribers (and presumably, not enough subscribers decamp upon cancellation of those shows to have an adverse impact that Netflix would like to avoid.)

So, Netflix is NOT going to be our savior. It won’t happen, and people just need to stop going there. But Constantin has been very clear that they need an international distribution partner for this show, and since Netflix (and maybe Amazon Prime?) are the only international players on the board right now, well…

The other complication that became clear in the Marvel and ODaaT cancellations is this clause Netflix apparently has on all the shows that it doesn’t produce in-house, which is that that show (and characters from that show) cannot appear on a competing service for at least two years following the cancellation. This is why CBS AllAccess wasn’t allowed to pick up ODaaT, and why everyone is saying the soonest we might see the Marvel shows on Disney+ (assuming we do) is 2020/2021. While we don’t have any confirmation that Shadowhunters is subject to this clause, but we have no reason to believe it ISN’T subject to it, because it apparently is standard on all shows that Netflix distributes but doesn’t own.

So, if Shadowhunters were to continue, whether with Season 4 or a spin-off, the soonest it would happen is next year or the year after. Which is probably for the best because, again, it won’t be on Netflix. Freeform wasn’t just a distributor for this show, it was a production partner. Yes, Constantin has the adaptation rights and could start another, entirely new series based on the source material tomorrow. But THIS particular adaptation of the source material (and any derivative properties thereof) is partially Disney property and Netflix isn’t going to touch it. So any international distribution is going to be on either Disney+ or Hulu when they go international, which likely won’t be for another year or more.

So, assuming we could see the show again next year or the year after, why do I believe it will be a spin-off and not season 4?

In part, because of where the show left off. Things are wrapped up. Yes, there is room for continuation, there are places they could pick up the story from where they left it, but I think we would all feel like they were walking back the HEA so many characters got if they did that. There is just more storytelling potential if you introduce a show that has at least some new characters, maybe a few old ones, and then just takes off in another direction. That was sort of the point of pushing the big red reset button on Clary’s story altogether.

Also, Todd and Darren at this point are being very clear that they don’t see the show getting picked up, especially with all the sets dismantled and the props sold, and that maybe, MAYBE there might be a chance for reunion movies at some point, but this is pretty much it for Shadowhunters. I mean, even if I hadn’t stepped back from #SaveShadowhunters, it’s pretty hard to maintain denial in the face of what they were saying.

And then there’s Malec. My impression from Matt and Harry’s (TVGuide? Cosmo? I don’t remember) interview last week is that Matt and Harry are not writing off the possibility of returning in some capacity if the opportunity arose, but they’re not putting things on hold waiting for it to happen. They’re moving on. Harry made a very clear and unambiguous “goodbye, Magnus” tweet thread the day after the finale. And Harry specifically called out life changes like having a baby affecting things like being willing to work 3000 miles away from his family for more than half the year. I honestly don’t see anyone being willing to pick up this show for more seasons without Malec being a central part of it, because where Malec goes, there goes the audience.

So, a spin-off makes a lot more sense. It offers the chance of bringing in a new audience who maybe didn’t watch the original show, or watched part of the first season and was turned off by the low production values. It offers the chance to cycle out the part of the cast who doesn’t want to or isn’t able to return and cycle in new characters with new stories. It resets the clock on things like pay grades for actors who usually get raises after second and/or third seasons and enables the producers to bring in new, unknown talent who would be paid less. It enables a chance to relocate the production if necessary without recreating all the old sets in a new place. It also resets the clock on the “3 season profitability” guideline Netflix adheres to, which we could assume would also apply to other streaming services.

So why am I not talking about TID? Because like I said, that’s a whole different animal. TID will bring in dedicated book fans, but the casual, non-book-based audience who tuned in for modern-day urban fantasy with a strong presence of LGBTQ+ characters won’t necessarily tune in for Victorian gothic/steampunk-tinged fantasy with the only LGBTQ+ character in an abusive, het relationship. The Shadowhunters audience who came in because of the show and not the books will want a spin-off that is more of the same.

So, yeah. I’m not writing off the possibility of a continuation in some form. I just don’t think we can affect the outcome at this point, and what is going to happen will happen.

[anagraves]

[28]

I was tagged by @brenli , thank you so much! I don’t think I’ve ever done anything so long on this page :D So, here we go! It will be a little messy, ‘cause I’m constantly overtired and feel slightly rusty with my English, and also withholding some facts, ‘cause I’m paranoid. Sorry. 

1. how tall are you?  158 cm, which means I’m usually the tiniest person around. I don’t mind, though. 

2. what color and style is your hair?  Natural color is pretty mousy and I hate it, so I’ve been dying my hair since junior highschool, I guess. Till last year I always dyed them claret, but last holiday I changed it to something that starts as black and finishes as plum.  I used to have them shoulder-length, but four years ago I cut them really short and since then I am a proud owner of very little hair on my head. I do envy people with long hair, but well, I know what I have now fits me better. 

3. what color are your eyes?  Green.

4. do you wear glasses? Yup, constantly since the end of elementary school. With myopia that goes to - 6 I really do not see much without my glasses. I’ve never used contacts nor do I intend to, I can’t imagine having to touch my eyeballs or anything.

5. do you wear braces? Not anymore, thankfully! But I did, for 7 years!!! I still have to wear some stuff at nights and I have one element left on my lower teeth, but that’s all. 

6. what is your fashion style? I don’t think I have one. I mean I don’t like fashion, so I just wear whatever I feel like wearing. My clothes are diverse, but they are usually dark and with something interesting on them (imprints/spikes/other metal things). I have a lot of T-shirts/sweaters with skulls and animals (especially cats and owls). I love warm sweaters, hoodies, jeans and leather jackets. I am obsessed with high heels, my favorite shoes are a black leather ones that reach well above my ankles and have like an 8-cm-long heel. I don’t own a single skirt (like... no) and I have only a few dresses which I wear only if I’m forced to (big dislike for these ones as well). I’m an all-trousers girl. I definitely prefer my style casual; when it comes to elegance I like to wear black in general - black smooth trousers and black suit. 

7. full name? Sorry, I don’t feel comfortable disclosing it online. 

8. when were you born? July 12, 1994.

9. where are you from and where do you live now? I was born in a small-ish town in southern Poland and now I still live in southern Poland, but in a much bigger town. So not much of a change, just a few hours of travel by car. 

10. what school do you go to? One Polish university, four months to go and it will be the end of any school for me! 

11. what kind of student are you? Up till university, I was an excellent student, always the best at everything. I was definitely a geek who learned too much. And I always wanted to be at the top. University changed it completely; even when I’m trying hard I’m just average. If I like a subject it shows and I’m having good grades, but generally, I’m all for passing, not excelling. I’m learning a lot and it still isn’t enough right now, which is frustrating at times, especially when I compare myself to my colleagues. On other occasions... I simply don’t care. I just want to pass.

12. do you like school? Well... It depends on the period of my life. I think I didn’t mind elementary school, I hated junior high school and liked actual high school. About university... every year is different, so there were good ones and there were bad ones. I’m not a fan of it in general, though. 

13. what are your favorite school subjects? Pre-uni: Maths and Chemistry, mostly, but Chemistry was my biggest and most unexpected love during my time at school. When it first started I had no idea what it was and I was terrified with it, plus I was behind the whole class because of some disease and I was honestly so nervous about it. Then, a month later, I kinda... fell for it and stayed infatuated with it till the end of junior high. And that’s mostly how I found myself on medical studies a few years later. My teacher from junior high was so amazing she made me love Chemistry more than anything, but sadly, my teacher from high school ruined it all. I had a great Biology teacher then, though it didn’t make me love Biology. It just enabled me to get into the uni I wanted to get to.  I almost always liked my English classes as well, because I had some really amazing teachers and I loved English. I still do, languages are amazing. 

Uni: Histology, Pharmacology, Surgery. The first two are the only ones I excelled at. Surgery - not so much, but I still did well on the final exam. 

14. favorite TV shows? It is both an easy and difficult question. Easy because I do have one TV series I consider my ultimate favorite, and it’s Angel from Buffyverse. The best thing about it is the most amazing character development I’ve ever seen, and trust me, I’m a sucker when it comes to character development. My favorite character from there is one of my ultimate faves (if not THE one) and his path is one of the most epic ever. Plus it has an amazing material for shipping and some great acting, it’s dark, depressing and hopeless, and that’s what I love. It’s also one of the few examples of TV series when I actually LIKE the main character; he’s actually one of the people I like the most. It almost never happens; usually, I’m very anti-main characters (e.g. LotR, HP).

The question gets difficult because there are also such shows as Chuck, Firefly or Code Black, amazing and mostly flawless (apart from the ending of Chuck), but are they my favorites? At times, maybe. In general... I just don’t know. Bones and Castle fought for my undivided attention for years (most of the times Bones was on the winning side) and they’re both in my top 10, though probably not top 3. Plus, there are some gems that had such amazing potential, but were cut short and had too little time to develop; apart from Firefly, it would be, e.g. Monday Mornings, Perception, Black Box.

There were also a lot of amazing TV shows I loved dearly during some of their seasons, but almost always something happened and they got ruined. PLL, TVD, Grey’s Anatomy (I feel like I’m watching it now for one pairing only), OUaT and so on. House was my first American TV series and I’ll always have a place for it in my heart. I love GoT in its very early and very late seasons, but what comes in between? Nope.  

(I watch way too much TV.) 

The honorary mentions should go to some non-American shows (honestly speaking, I’m kinda tired with the general trends of American TV at the moment). I’ve started my adventures with TV with Polish soap operas that I completely adored; when I discovered American TV I stopped watching them entirely and don’t intend to come back. I love some good English dramas, but BBC tends to get a little bit overdramatic or too dark even for me (Ripper Street ripped my heart from my chest). Speaking of ripping hearts, let’s not forget about the Japanese ones, as @brenli mentioned! They are something completely different, they have amazing plotlines and characters, and - sometimes - Hiroyuki Sanada who is just everything (and I get to analyze the shows with @brenli, which makes them even better). Koukou Kyoushi will stay with me for years to come, probably Konna Koi No Hanashi as well. Considering my current Asian phase I expect to see much more of Japanese (or maybe Korean) dramas in the future.

15. favorite movies? There are a few movies I could watch on constant repeat and they mean so much to me. Let’s categorize them in genres, shall we?  Animation: How to Train Your Dragon (especially the first part, the second one breaks my heart too much), Ice Age 3; plus the tales of my childhood I could watch five times a day - Pocahontas, Mulan, Spirit: Stallion of Cimarron. Period: Pride & Prejudice 2005. Rom-com: Holiday; Love, Actually. Adventure: Pirates of the Caribbean 1-3. Sci-fi: Matrix 1 & 3.  Plus a few honorary mentions that are equally important, but I just wouldn’t have them on constant rewatch: LotR, SW, HP, Indiana Jones (not every part for every one of these series), National Treasure. There are also a few amazing anime movies (Spirited Away, Kimi No Na Wa, Wolf Children) and among them some masterpieces I think were wonderful, but too heartbreaking to ever watch them again (Grave of the Fireflies, Princess Kaguya). 

16. favorite books? Most of my favorite books are cycles that I grew up with - LotR, HP, Inkheart Trilogy, the Vampirates series, Artemis Fowl, Jeżycjada (a Polish series about a multi-generational Polish family), Felix, Net i Nika (kinda Polish version of HP with science and technology in place of magic), some books by Ewa Nowak. Also, Pride & Prejudice. I’ve loved a lot of books since, but does any of them deserve to be called a “favorite”? I’m not so sure about it.

17. favorite pastime? Writing, from the moment I’ve learned to write (4 years old, I believe). Second best would be watching TV series; when I was younger I’d much rather like to read a book, but that kinda changed. Though, if I’m being honest, at the time being it would be watching ski jumping competitions or anything BTS-related. These past two weeks (yup, I’ve been writing this post for two weeks) has been an interesting journey of interchanging obsessions, some revisited (sj) and some I’ve never expected to develop (BTS).

18. do you have any regrets? Sure, who doesn’t? I’m trying to live by the rule “regret doing something rather than not doing it”, but well, it can’t always work. 

19. dream job? A writer, for sure, always and forever. That is the one thing that has been with me my whole life. Apart from that? Well... Some time after I started my studies I developed a strong dream of becoming a neurosurgeon one day, but this dream faltered this year and now I’m not so sure anymore. Now I feel like I made a completely wrong career choice those few years ago. 

20. would you like to get married someday? Marriage has never been one of my dreams or something I HAVE to do in the future, but I definitely want to have someone by my side, and if they want to get married, then sure, we can do that. Not necessarily though. 

21. would you like to have kids someday? No, no and once again no, and there are so many reasons! First, I do know my body would not be physiologically okay with pregnancy (and after studying Gynaecology I do believe pregnancy is one of the worst things - if not THE worst - that could ever happen to one’s body) and I have no intention of doing such a thing to myself. Second, children scare me; my whole life I’ve been doing my best to keep my distance and avoid contact at any cost (which kinda worked as far, I’ve never even held a baby). Third, I have no maternal instinct and I do know I would be a terrible mother, so what’s the point? 

23. do you like shopping? No. Since I was a child, when my parents took me shopping I always had a book with me and just followed them around while reading (somehow I managed not to collide with anything throughout all these years :P). I still do the same thing if someone makes me go with them to the mall, only now it’s more often my phone, not a book. I love buying books, though. I used to go to the bookshops and buy five books at a time. I don’t do that right now, because a) money b) I have tons of unread books already, but I could still go there and spend hours just looking at the books and reading their covers. 

24. what countries have you visited? Only one, and I’m not even sure it should count. I’ve been to Slovakia twice, but both times only like 50km from the border, and I’ve spent there max few hours. So... it definitely wasn’t even remotely close to this “going abroad” I’ve been always dreaming about... 

25. what’s the scariest nightmare you’ve ever had? Hmm... There was one in my adult life that left me absolutely terrified; I remember waking up and feeling paralyzed with fear. I had a feeling someone was standing in the doorway, but I was too scared to turn around and see, so I was just lying there with my eyes wide open, waiting until the fear passes or something else happens... What was the dream about? I only remember it took place in some fancy mansion near the beach that was either mine or one of my friends’. I think it wasn’t actually a nightmare until the very end when something bad was about to happen to someone who was standing in the living room. The other person was creeping in the dark or something like that, and the character in the dream had the same kind of fear I woke up with. I didn’t actually want to remember more details. 

26. do you have any enemies? I did have some, on every stage of my education, but they are no longer in my life. Nowadays I think I’m too irrelevant to be anyone’s enemy. There are some people with whom I share a mutual dislike, but “enemies” is probably too strong of a word in these cases. 

27. do you have an s/o? Nope. Never had. 

28. do you believe in miracles? Well... not really. I believe in luck and destiny, but miracles? I definitely don’t believe in them in any religious context (I’m completely anti-religion). When it comes to some other kinds of miracles, like medical ones - I know things happen, wonderful things that have no logical explanation, but I do believe that deep down, even though we don’t know it, they have some logical explanation. We just can’t see it. 

Finished! Finally! :D Hopefully it isn’t too chaotic, I don’t really have time to reread it and check for mistakes, Family Medicine is waiting to devour me... 

I’m tagging: @frombothofmyhearts @thesilverrqueen @mis4nthropy and anyone who wants to do it! Just be warned - it takes a lot of time to answer all of the questions :P 

[lauraramargosian]

COVID-19 depression pandemic, how to cope.

The COVID-19 depression pandemic, how to cope and beat this virus.

Under the circumstances of the COVID-19 pandemic, many have reached a level of sadness they have never felt before in their life.

With that in mind, the last couple of months have been dreadful for the world. Many have lost family to the virus. Most importantly and sadly, many are not allowed to say goodbye, or hold funeral services due to the limitations and self-distancing rules of each state.

Can you imagine, think of the person you love the most, imagine you couldn’t have a “proper,” goodbye and way to grieve, wouldn’t that feel awful?

In the hope that you feel alone, remember, we are feeling this with you.

We spoke to Bren who opened up about his internal depression since the hit of COVID-19.

“There’s no motivation, to do anything, the worst part about it is the fact, I don’t know feels like there is less meaning, you feel less fulfilled because you don’t feel like accomplishing as much or you don’t feel like.. Things blend together, you don’t have as many outside experiences, just becomes repetitive.”

Pandemic outbreaks can leave you anxious.

As a result of COVID-19, men, women, children, families, and friends could be feeling this in silence, so be aware to look for signs of depression and stress.

In fact, fear and anxiety are hitting the country, with zero discrimination.

What are some of the anxieties people are feeling (for those who feel fine)?

The fear and worry about your own health.

Being immunocompromised and anxiety create a perfect storm, it’s scary.

Sleeping more than usual, or a change in sleeping habits.

Those who are at high risk, face chronic health problems.

Worsening of anxiety and mental health.

Lack of productivity, and loss of interest in activities a person used to love.

Difficulty concentrating.

Fear of money and getting bills on time.

The coronavirus COVID-19 is affecting 209 countries and territories around the world and 2 international conveyances.

As a consequence, the world decided to collect everything they could, resulting in a lack of PPE and equipment to cope with the current 1,495,051 global cases, with 87,469 deaths.

Unfortunately, the United States of America now has 419,975 cases, with 14,262 total deaths. It’s a scary fact, and as mentioned, this virus does not discriminate.

Unfortunately, every death is a story, filled with pain. When a mother has to hold their 27-year-old child for the last time when husbands and wives pass away, it’s horrifying and children, those grieving are still likely in shock.

Channel your inner love and activism in the midst of COVID-19

So, are more tests needed in order to prevent more pain? According to the specialists, our new normal is, it’s not going to happen fast.

The Chief White House Jim Acosta opened up about the administration is considering opening up the country but top doctors are warning the U.S still has some tough days ahead.

Why are prevention and social distancing important?

Social distancing means you have to keep space between you and other people outside of your home.

Keep at the very minimum of 6 feet (2 meters) from other people. Gathering of groups is highly discouraged and fines could be instated. Avoid mass gatherings, yes this means church as well. Order from local fast-food restaurants to avoid contact at stores, it’s a great alternative. Most importantly, stay home, unless you are an essential worker.

Alright, it may feel really annoying to constantly be stuck in the house due to social distancing but as reported on CNN the lines are starting to curve, while we are about 2-weeks behind, it seems it will get worse before it gets better.

Especially because it was mentioned that COVID-19 has the ability to come back at a later time this year.

When it comes to those who are high-risk patients with underlying disease, it’s a nightmare.

Don’t forget, love yourself, shower, always get dressed every day, these routines will help your depression and creating a routine usually allows us to feel “fulfilled,” because humans have always loved to work, and to go out and celebrate birthdays and holidays.

“I feel absolutely depressed, turning 30-years-old today and suffering from Crohn’s disease is scary, especially during this pandemic. I’m a high-risk patient and controlling my symptoms without available specialty providers can be difficult. I mean, who wants to risk their provider’s health or their own? Truthfully, sometimes I lay at night and just hope I won’t wake up. But that’s just anxiety and depression kicking in, I know I’m not alone, yet feel alone because not many “healthy,” people understand the stress of being a high-risk potential future patient. Last, to me, it’s not about ��if I get it,” it’s when I get it. In the hope that it comes when there is treatment or after an available vaccine.”

What’s trending on Reddit regarding COVID-19?

Reddit user DistractedScholar34 explained it in the easiest way to understand, sharing:

“Compared to the flu, COVID-19 is much more infectious and more deadly. The death rate for COVID-19 is about 3.4%, while the death rate for seasonal influenza is about 0.1%. The R0 value (The average number of people that each infected person spreads the disease to) of COVID-19 is 2-3.11, while the R0 value of the flu is 1.3. COVID-19 is deadly because it’s not deadly, which seems kind of counter-intuitive. SARS, for example, has a 15% death rate, which is about 5 times higher than COVID-19, but it only had a death toll of 774, whereas COVID-19’s death toll is 7,900 and counting. So, in the big picture, COVID-19 kills more people, because most of the people who get infected are still alive, with fairly mild symptoms, walking around, ready to infect more people, rather than dead, or crippled with symptoms so severe they are confined to a hospital bed. Stay safe. Stay home. Wash your hands. Don’t hoard supplies.”

Well, it was said perfectly, just a little bit of care and understanding how to properly prepare, and prevent.

The COVID-19 related depression is likely to continue, so it’s vital to check on your friends and family.

Most importantly, don’t argue and treat people with disrespect, people who have the virus may not be vocal about it, it can be that terrifying.

Knowing Symptoms of Coronavirus.

Reported illnesses have ranged from mild symptoms to severe illness and death for confirmed coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) cases.

These symptoms may appear 2-14 days after exposure (based on the incubation period of MERS-CoV viruses).

Fever

Cough

Shortness of breath

When to Seek Medical Attention

If you develop emergency warning signs for COVID-19 get medical attention immediately. Emergency warning signs include*:

Trouble breathing

Persistent pain or pressure in the chest

New confusion or inability to arouse

Bluish lips or face

*This list is not all-inclusive. Please consult your medical provider for any other symptoms that are severe or concerning.

The best action to beat COVID-19 related anxiety and depression.

Call your friends and family on video chat, play games on your tablets, exercise the mind with board games or coloring.

It’s okay to go into your back yard and get some sun (close your eyes and be present).

Play video games, connect with friends and force yourself to talk on a mic or go on video.

Talk to people about your concerns, just letting it out helps.

Cry if you need too, sometimes, we don’t why we feel like crying. Regardless of your gender, just let it out.

Last and most importantly, stay safe, stay positive, love yourself and under the circumstances, happy Passover, and any other holidays going on at this time.

It will be okay, check out the videos below, they were provided by Brendan Warkentin, who saw this on VOX, who has been studying this disease since the start, perfect way to watch its actions.

Blessed be.

How wildlife trade is linked to coronavirus

Coronavirus is not the flu. It’s worse.

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[well-hidden-hot-mess]

an update and more rambles (what else is new?)

Well things have changed a lot since my last post. Good and bad things. Just lots of things. This is going to be a long one so buckle up. You’ve been warned.

I (FINALLY!!!) moved to my dream city that I’ve been dreaming of for the last 10 years and it’s everything I’ve ever wanted and more. I truly feel at home in a way I’ve never felt before and it’s so freeing. That’s something I need to remind myself when I feel like I’m drowning in stress and just life - just stop, take a second and remember that you did something that so many people never have the balls to do (aka pick up their entire lives and move across the country from everything they’ve ever known and everyone they care about and everything that was “safe” to them to embark on a whole new life in a brand new place where they know no one) and not just to any place, but to the place that you instantly knew was your home the second you landed over 10 years ago and decided to do what you knew deep down would be the best decision you’ve ever made in your life and guess what. It was the best decision you’ve ever made and it worked out despite all of the days spent worrying about “what if I hate it there? what if I fail and have to come back home with my tail between my legs and admit that I was wrong? what if my happy place isn’t all that I expected it to be and I realize I made a huge mistake?” and do I regret a single thing about taking that chance? Not even the slightest bit. Yes I do miss having my family so close (especially my puppy since he doesn’t understand how to FaceTime) and I miss that sense of security of having my safety net/support group so close by but I’m starting to finally feel like I’m growing roots here and it’s honestly just such a good feeling. Fuck why am I crying? lol. I love my home here and I’m so proud of myself for putting myself before all the stupid worry/doubt my brain kept pushing at me and saying fuck it I’m doing this. It’s the best decision I’ve ever made and that wouldn’t have been possible without me standing up against those inner demons or whatever and it feels great to finally have won/have some sort of victory over them so next time they’re taking over again, I can be like yo remember what happened last time you fought back harder than you ever had? Look what happened, you changed your life and got out of the dead end miserable existence you had and created a life that makes you truly happy in a place that makes you feel more alive than you ever thought possible. You did that. No one else did it for you. Yes you had help along the way but you did it. If I can do something that I’ve truly felt like I've been called to do for over a decade despite all of the scariness/risks/etc and put myself out there and put my happiness first over those stupid inner demons, I can honestly do anything. Well that turned into way more of a rant than intended but that’s what I do here lol.

Originally before I left, wifey had told me she had free tickets to go see Luke Bryan/Cole Swindell at Jones Beach and since I wasn’t sure when I was moving I was like oh 100% I’ll go. Then we figured out my move date was 4th of July (Independence Day - so fitting lol) and the concert was July 17th. Wifey was saying how sad she was that I wasn’t going to be able to go since I’ll have moved already and it’s our yearly tradition to see him now. I looked at her surprised and was like “umm she’s been my best friend for almost 15 years and acts like she’s never met me before...?”. So needless to say, 2 weeks after I moved, I flew back home to CT to go to the show with her, Jenny, Kristin, and Sam and holy. shit. It was my first concert at Jones Beach so that was cool. We picked up Kristin in NYC on the way there and had the best time blasting music and singing and pregaming on the way there. We got to go to a meet and greet and listening party for Cole Swindell. He was super sweet and we got to hear 2 of his songs that weren’t released yet/wouldn’t be released. It was so I don’t even know the word to describe how cool it was and how like full my soul felt to see him listening to the songs along with us and you could just feel the passion radiating out of him while the songs were playing and I just felt like the grinch where my heart grew three sizes in that moment. It was so refreshing to see that that passion and pureness does still exist in this crazy world and it was just a moment I’ll never forget. Then we went to the concert where we were originally like halfway up the stadium and when wifey sent a thank you text to who got us the tickets with a picture from the seats, they were like umm no that’s not good enough and were told to go meet some guy from security. So we go over and as we’re waiting, I turn around and in the most like hidden seats I see Theresa aka the Long Island Medium and her daughter just sitting there like NBD. So I freak out about that obviously and have to tell my mom but the selfie attempts failed so I was sad. But then we were lead into the pit and I was 3 people away (security included) away from Luke the entire show. I don’t think I blinked the entire time. I felt kinda bad because wifey was like “oh come over here there’s more room” and I was like “I love you but this is the only chance I might ever have to be this close to the love of my life/obsession so I’m going to stay here if that’s okay” and she immediately understood and was like “yep, say no more” and we were close enough where if something happened I could turn and make eye contact with them so it was okay. It was honestly the best night of my entire life so far and did I mention that he made direct eye contact with/sang to me for a few seconds during Play It Again? Because he did and I’m pretty sure I felt my soul leave my body at that moment. That night was easily in the top 10 greatest moments I’ll ever have in my life and I regret not a single thing. The hassle of having to pack up and fly home in the midst of not even being close to done unpacking was beyond worth it and I’d do it all over again a million times. 

Okay let’s see what else. So I got offered a job at the first interview I went to which was a nice little ego/confidence boost as the assistant manager of a spa (ironic I know since the last spa managers I’ve known have been nice but the bane of my existence most of the time lol) in a town like 20 mins outside of the city. I had to be incognito about being the new manager for the first 3 months as like a trial period to make sure it was a good fit before we announced it to everyone. I wish I could say it’s been all sunshine and rainbows since then but seeing how this is the first new job I’ve had in 6 years, the beginning was a bit rough. I’m used to being the veteran that knows everything and is the go to person but now I was the newbie who felt like they didn’t know anything (because I didn’t lol) and felt kinda useless at the beginning during training because I was so eager to jump in and help and show my true work ethic and all that but it’s hard to do when you have zero idea what you’re talking about. Then they kinda dumped on me that in a few months they wanted me to be ready to move up to full on spa manager and I panicked hard. Then the manager left for a week and a half on vacation where she wasn’t reachable if I needed help and let’s just say it was just short of a disaster. I also contracted a respiratory infection during that time and had literally zero voice above a faint whisper even if I tried yelling and it was so painful to breathe/exist let alone run a spa when I feel like I was not prepared at all for that. Then when she came back we had a talk and I was told that I had disappointed the owners since they thought I should’ve handled things better despite being sick and that I'm not further along into being ready for that role. That fucking hurt because I was killing myself just to get there each day and survive and I was trying to be positive and get things done when inside and outside I was clearly dying. Then after some reflection, I sat down with her again and we had a very productive talk. I explained that I didn’t ask many questions before she left because I didn’t know what I didn’t know until I was left alone with no one to go to for help and it was all on me. I also explained how before this job, my highest role was equivalent to a lead SA there and this was all brand new to me. I wasn’t the one making the big decisions with clients or dealign with managing the entire staff instead of like 10 people but mainly like 5 who were more than just coverage people if needed or doing inventory or reports or calling the shots on when to waive final payments or the 24 hour cancellation fee or any of that. I think once she kinda understood where I was coming from and that was laid out in front of her, she realized I needed to actually be trained not just tell me how to do things when problems arise and since it had been so crazy busy with gift card season and the holidays and vacations and training the influx of new SAs, we didn’t do any specific manager training other than when problems came up in the moment. So things became a lot different and we’re putting aside time to really train and get me prepared for my current role and the future role too. During all of this, my depression took full control of me for a month or two and really took a nose dive after the week I was left alone (I’ll go into more of that later on) and it really affected my work. I was constantly 20 or more minutes late despite numerous talking to’s, I wasn’t fully present despite how hard I was trying to be, my sales went out the window, my team lost respect for me (I don’t blame them for that at all since I was so in my own little bubble and focused on just surviving another day that I wasn’t up to my full potential and not able to support them in the way I should’ve/want to be), I stopped working out and was binge eating the worst foods constantly and gained about 40lbs in a few short months (sound familiar?). Then a couple weeks ago, I got written up for being late and if it continued, I would be demoted to SA and then eventually fired and that was exactly the kick in the ass I needed to get my ass back in gear and lift myself out of that depression slump. I’ve been at least 5 minutes early for every shift since then and have been actively making sure I’m there for my team and learning how to be a better manager to help support them and the business as a whole. I feel so much more in control of my life and it feels fucking great. I don’t dread going to work each day anymore and don’t have to fight to get out of bed each day to get there and don't feel so hopeless like I'll never be good enough for them no matter how hard I try (aka how I felt after that week of being alone). I had my latest one on one yesterday and my boss kept saying how much improvement she’s seen in me and feels so much more confident in me as that potential future spa manager now that she’s seen how hard I've been working to do my best. Like I wasn’t holding back tears but I was one tiny step before that because I was so happy that my hard work is being recognized and is paying off. I truly do want to do my best there and she sees that and appreciates it and that’s just not something I’m used to so it’s like “oh this is what being in a non toxic work environment is like... this is what it’s like being appreciated and supported by management.... huh...”. So that’s pretty cool. And I even got a fleece zip up with the company logo on it as a reward kinda which just added to it lol. I’ve been there 6 months and got a really nice fleece zip up when after 6 YEARS at EQX all I got was a stupid hat lol. I don’t know if being with this company is a lifelong thing but it’s working for me now and I think it’s exactly where I should be, even just to learn how to be a manager and learn those skills to take with me elsewhere in the future so that’s pretty cool too. It can be stressful at times don’t get me wrong and I may have many homicidal thoughts that I would obviously never act on towards some of my coworkers at times when they drive me absolutely insane but I do enjoy being there and being part of that family/having that support. 

Now fitness/health wise. Where to start. So yeah the last few months has been spent binge eating my face off and honestly I think it started as a nice break from worrying about calories or the scale or the gym especially since my body was failing me and I felt terrible all the time and couldn’t push myself at all or I’d get one of my vertigo like migraines or overheat or just not have the physical ability to do anything so removing myself from that environment of always building frustration was probably a good thing. Well at least that’s how it started. Then the holidays hit, then work became crazy and my depression consumed me and I felt like shit to begin with so I had zero motivation to even try to meal prep or eat anything that wasn’t ordered off ubereats that was at least 5-10k calories each sitting. Plus my insomnia was the worst it’s been in years where I would stay up until 3 or 4 am each night watching Criminal Minds or Silent Witness or Dexter and wonder why I couldn’t function at all during work. So yeah, that’s how I got up to my most recent highest weight of 196lbs and seeing that number SUCKED. Was I surprised? Nope. Was I a little surprised it wasn’t higher than that? Yup lol. It wasn’t such huge blow because I knew how I had been eating/living so it’s like yeah that makes sense but still hurts none the less. So about 2 weeks ago I decided it was time (also right after when I got written up and kicked my ass back into gear in my life in general) and started just by using Norm to count my calories. My weight was all over the place and would spike from 194lbs down to 189lbs overnight, then back up to 192lbs and I was like wtf. I knew it was probably water weight fluctuations and all of that but like come on, it’s not even going in a downward trend at this point. Then a couple days in, I started working out again. That was rough. My first workout back I did 3 leg exercises with what was normally my warmup weight (10lb dumbbells) and I couldn’t move for a day and a half (thankfully I was off those 2 days) and then was still excruciatingly sore for another 3 days after that. So then once I could kinda move my legs without wanting to die, I did arm day and It wasn’t nearly as bad. My strength is absolute shit but that’s to be expected when the most movement you’ve had is walking across the hall pretty much to the elevator and the few steps out the door to meet your ubereats driver then going back upstairs to be horizontal again. But this week I’ve been getting up each morning (even on my days off or later work days) at 5am and staying awake while I wait the 1.5 hours for my Vyvanse to kick in and watching youtube videos to gently wake up/stay awake, then I’ll have my green supplement drink thing and take my vitamins and prep my work meals/snacks for the day and get ready, then head down to the gym by like 8am, work out for up to an hour depending on time/energy levels, then shower and get ready and leave at 9am to get to work by 9:30am and sit in the parking lot and do my makeup instead of how I used to spend my mornings aka wake up late, take Vyvanse too late, suffer through barely being able to function while getting ready and not making meals and having to buy food that was never healthy then end up rushing there and panicking while trying to put makeup on while doing 90mph on the highway and having the shame of arriving like 30 minutes late AGAIN and having to face my boss/coworkers. Much better start to the day I must say lol. I’m feeling a lot more like me again too which is a nice change from being a shell of a human fighting just to survive another hour let alone another day. So I’ve been on point with my food for the last like almost 2 weeks and my weight is still all over the place and I'm like what the actual fuck. Then I’m like super drained and have no strength, overheat from just picking up a weight, am exhausted to the point where one day after a harder but not actually hard workout I literally HAD to lay down because I was so drained at like 2pm and couldn’t physically move the rest of the day, one day I was so bloated it was beyond painful and I had no idea why since I ate the same things I have been and never had any reaction to and it was so much worse than when I ate 10k calories of all the gluten and dairy in the form of sonic shakes/mcdonalds meals/etc, and I'm just like what the actual fuck is going on body??? Then out of nowhere I'm like wait... are those... no it couldn’t be.... CRAMPS???? then out of nowhere it began and I'm like woah woah woah I get stabbed in the stomach once every 3 months so this doesn’t happen wtf is going on? Then I'm like oh I did wait a month too long in between the last rounds so that's probably it. So that’s a thing and it’s fucking rude since now I need to go get supplies since I threw all mine out since I thought I didn't have to deal with this anymore. ugh. Oh and get this. I finally got my lab results back from my blood test at the lyme doctor. Turns out I have another new co infection of lyme that I now have to deal with and treat. Super excited for that. NOT. I was texting my person and I was like “guess who has a new co infection for her lyme that’s already tried to kill her and then ruin her life many times?” and he goes “oh of course you do because why would you ever be allowed to get better?” and I'm like oh I'm so glad someone understands me lol because that was my reaction when I found out. I’m like oh of course I do, why wouldn’t I? *insert eye roll but laughing to cover how I'm really feeling about it*. So yeah now I have to figure all of that out so that should be fun. At least now I have health insurance lol. 

Okay last thing because I need to start my day since it’s already almost 9am and I'm still in bed. I went home for a week before Christmas since I wasn’t able to go home for actual Christmas and got to visit with family/friends. Everyone kept saying how much happier I seem and they could just feel how much happier I was since I moved and I'm like yup that is 100% correct. I got to spend time with dad’s side of the fam which was a lot of fun and reconnected with my sister for a much needed vent session on her part since it’s hard being 16 when you act like you’re 20 maturity wise and everyone else acts like they’re 16 and it’s countless amounts of drama and boys suck and girls suck and everyone sucks and college is looming and it’s a lot to deal with at once. So that was really nice to be able to sit down and be that big sister that she deserves and needs. I also went out to dinner with wifey and her family and re met her new man (since I was there for the brief moment when they first met then moved 2 days later lol) and had a blast. I really like him for her and think they're a great match and he’s gunna be around for a while if not forever and I’m a okay with that because he treats her like a queen and he is the male version of her to a scary point haha. Wifey was like attached to me the whole time I was there and it was so nice feeling so special and needed by her and the center of her attention for once. She wasn’t even drunk and was like almost crying when she realized that I flew home and made sure I was home for her birthday and how we’ve been friends for 15 years and never missed a birthday and god that meant so much to me I can’t even begin to put it into words. I was sad that was the only time I was going to be able to see her even though I made sure I kept Friday night open because it was her birthday weekend and this is her we’re talking about here but she didn’t seem to have any plans for it. Then her roomie pulled me aside and told me about a surprise party that her and the bf were planning for her so I was like ah that makes much more sense. So the day of I helped distract her via text and then went over and helped set up and brought booze because duh. The funny part was she was on the phone on speaker with the bf as I’m in the room with him helping him set up things and wasn’t allowed to make a sound so she wasn’t like wtf why are you two together???? That would not look good at all lol. Then she texted me saying how she and the roomie were going to go to his place to pregame then maybe out to a restaurant they love with a group of people so I'm like yes let’s do it. So I go over and give her her presents which were a big hit. A Friends show coffee table book that has a recap or whatever on every single episode (which was a big hit since it’s that show and it’s her but also because they went to a friends trivia night thing and she was saying how she wished she had something like that beforehand to brush up on things. That’s the wifey sixth sense kicking in haha), a cat calendar for her desk at work, fuzzy unicorn socks, and a couple other things since it was her birthday/Christmas present. She was like blown away at how in sync we were still despite not seeing each other for 6 months and life being crazy/not being able to talk as much. Then we finally go over to his place where we had set up the party room thing in his apartment building (same one an old friend lived in years ago where I pretty much lived so that was weird going back to to say the least) and she has NO idea at this point and I’m like this is amazing because normally she’d have figured it out weeks before now. As we’re walking into the party room to “meet up with him and his friends since they were having a drink over there” there's a glass two sided fireplace and she goes “wait... is that my sister??” and we’re like no, just keep going but she figured it out. She stops and goes wait, is this a surprise party....? And I'm like “just keep walking and smile” and we opened the curtains and it was indeed a surprise party. She was shocked and so happy and it made my heart melt to see her so happy. Then I was introduced to everyone as her “best friend/wife who moved to Nashville but flew back because in 15 years I’d never missed a birthday and not even all those miles between us would make me miss one” over and over again and it was so cute. It was like all of those years up putting up with some things that drove me insane that she did and all the times I was there for her but didn’t feel like I got that back from her was all worth it and she finally saw how good of a friend I really was to her all those years. Like she knew but I don't think she fully realized until that night and I just died in the best way that night. 

One last thing - so one of my big bucket list things is to see a Luke concert in Nashville. Has been for over 10 years since I found him and then visited here. Well for Christmas my stepfather normally gives me tickets to a show and wasn't sure which one I wanted so was like just let me know and we’ll make something happen. So flash forward to a week ago, Luke announced his next album and his next tour. Now the last like few years I've checked and it hasn’t said Nashville and same with a few other big country people I love (FGL, Cole, etc) so I wasn’t holding my breath. Then as I’m scanning the list, I see it. It’s there. July 30th. Nissan Stadium. So I spaz out and text my mother the link to where to get the tickets and which show and say THIS ONE. So I text wifey freaking out because of it happening at all but also that could be our yearly Luke show and I wouldn’t wanna experience that with anyone else. So she’s like yes omg but remind me when it gets to like June and I'll see what I can do to get us tickets or whatever and I'm like okay.... Then I'm like fuck it I'm going to at least get us 2 tickets just in case her connection doesn’t work out or something or she can’t come because of work or whatever. Like nothing crazy just something good enough so that if she gets us better ones, that’s great, if not, at least I'm guaranteed to be there and see him. Then I find out there's a pre sale for his fan club people so I join for $40 for the year because duh. Then the day of the pre sale I’m like texting my mom freaking because the tickets are going fast. The pit was sold out in under 10 minutes so she’s like okay I'll send you money and you go buy them . I’m like okay got it. So I'm looking and I'm like oh there’s a VIP package, what's that? (go big or go home right?). It includes a 2 song acoustic set before the concert with only other VIP people so a smallish group and then a free copy of his CD, a free t shirt or something, and I'm like I want that. How much is it? So the pit tickets I wasn’t able to get were like $250 each I think but these were like $335 so I'm like #yolo #treatyoself and bought those. Well where are my seats you ask? Oh I don't know just on the floor THREE ROWS FROM CENTER STAGE. Needless to say I was a wreck while purchasing the tickets until I got my confirmation and then spazzed out and felt like it was all a dream once I got them. It’s still not real. Like I think like it’s hit me 1% now and will go from 1 to 100% the moment I step into the arena. So now I have 6 months to get my body looking the best it can because I refuse to go into a bucket list thing in a body i’m not proud of and worrying about how I'll look in the pictures since they’ll be around forever and I just want to go enjoy and not worry about feeling fat or whatever in any way shape or form. Plus I'm doing all the hair growth treatments from now until then to make my hair long again before then because it’s so much more me and I feel so much better with long hair. I refuse to let a single physical thing about me take away from the experience and yes I know that's an issue I need to work out with my brain but I don't have time for that before the concert. Plus this was exactly the kick in the ass/ goal I needed to get back on track and start taking care of myself again so hey I'm not mad. It doesn’t matter what the motivation as long as it works right? So yeah I'm counting down the seconds until that day and I refuse to let my food cravings get in the way of me feeling my best that day or anything else for that matter and I'm going to have another night I'll never forget. GOD I”M SO EXCITED I CAN”T EVEN. 

Okay that’s it. I’m done and need to start my day. There’s more that I may or may not get to at some point soon but yeah. that's been my life the last few months. Still not sure on what my path in life is and still not fully settled here but it’s getting there and I know I’m on my way to fully building a life here that I love and makes me feel alive and like my true self and I can’t fucking wait. 

[atticusblog2016-blog]

New Post has been published on Atticusblog

New Post has been published on https://atticusblog.com/why-apple-is-letting-ipad-sales-drift-downward/

Why Apple is Letting iPad Sales Drift Downward

Apple has watched the iPad income numbers flow downward due to the fact that 2013. Apple has clever executives. The most effective conclusion John can draw is that in 2013 and again in 2015 Apple embarked on an aggressive, multi-segment application to breathe new life into the iPad. It’s just taking a few engineering time, and so throughout every quarterly Profits Record, CEO Tim Cook dinner simply has to roll with the punches until it’s done.

First, I need to comment on what Apple CFO Luca Maestri started, at about the 20-minute mark inside the Might also 2nd Earnings Document. Commenting at the (dismal) eight.9 million iPad income in Q2, Mr. Maestri said,

I’ve several bones to pick approximately that comment earlier than I proceed.

1. Apple executives likely have a very good sense for what number of iPads will be sold, particularly within the non-holiday quarters. Reports from the web store, the Apple retail shops and other shops worldwide in all likelihood permit a very good estimate of end-of-zone outcomes. So, to say that iPad sales surpassed expectations appears much less than candid. Are we to accept as true with expectancies had been poor after which something awesome befell? Are we to get all giggly over the dismal variety of eight.9 million?

2. Apple has been making iPads for the reason that 2010. However recently, executives Cook dinner and Maestri have recently been presenting the excuse that the employer should sell more iPads if most effective substances weren’t confined. How can one of these breakdown inside the supply chain manifest below Tim Prepare dinner’s watch seven years into the product’s life? Are we to feel sorry that deliver constraints sabotaged potentially big income?

A Brighter Future

I now think there’s a purpose Mr. Prepare dinner and Mr. Maestri are biting the bullet all through the Profits Reviews. There’s something they don’t want to offer away. In truth, Might also healthy them to position a fake hype on the iPad and leave it at that. After all, Tim Cook dinner may want to have stated, “We’re operating feverishly behind the scenes to restoration this dismal, declining income situation.” Given the shortage of fulfillment of the iPad Pro to clear up the sales problem, astute analysts (and the competition) may finish that something new (and exciting) is afoot. Horrific concept. Suggests their hand.

Allow me to backtrack a little. I remember that Apple’s introduction of the 12.9-inch iPad Pro in November 2015 and the nine.7-inch iPad Seasoned in March of 2016 had been supposed to stem the poor increase in usual iPad sales. The embrace by means of the business enterprise and the IBM partnership changed into probably visible as a wholesome increase that would conquer the now obvious longer upgrade cycles for the iPad in the popular populace. This attempt Can also have been conceived, as I mentioned above, in 2013 or early 2014. However, since Q1 2016, iPad sales have persevered to decline. Even the two intervening holiday quarters confirmed a decline. (See the chart above.

How To Use The Garcinia Cambogia And Apple Cider Vinegar Diet For Weight Loss

The reality is, it takes a whole lot of tough paintings to get in shape and get fit and healthy. Now not to say sticking to a food regimen and averting some of your favored foods. It can be an ache specifically while you pass the more mile only to realize which you’ve only lost a single pound the whole week.

At times It can be depressing particularly if you have a few slender friends which could eat something they need and never benefit a pound. Whilst you are on the treadmill five days every week and eating up your greens and nevertheless getting ‘so-so’ results. Hence, you need to use every useful resource to be had to you at your advantage.

Fortunately, there are few matters which might be exceedingly cheap that you may add in your weight loss tools to maximize your results. This is not meant for in a single day effect but with a bit effort and determination, you 2x your outcomes in a short amount of time.

In this text, you are approximate to discover a famous duo this is growing a large buzz online. They’re Garcinia Cambogia and Apple Cider Vinegar.

An Advent To Garcinia Cambogia And Apple Cider Vinegar (ACV)

I first came across this ‘weight loss due’ in an article At the same time as browsing my Facebook newsfeed some time ago. The Garcinia Cambogia and Apple Cider Vinegar article turned into on CNN and made reference to the student at Stanford University that lost lots of weight on the recipe.

Regrettably, I can not say how valid the deserves of that article are but after analyzing it, I commenced doing some research. What I discovered out was incredible to mention the least.

Here’s What I found Out about Using Garcinia Cambogia And Apple Cider Vinegar For weight loss

Garcinia is a fruit originated out of India and some Asian countries. A scientist has located that it is predominant aspect hydroxy citric Acid also called HCA has a few top notch weight loss benefits. These encompass urge for food suppression, boosting serotonin degrees in addition to blocking the production of fat from carbs by means of inhibiting the enzyme citric lyase.

Apple Cider Vinegar, on the other hand, is rich in pectin so that it will additionally cut down hunger pangs. It’s also acknowledged to stimulate the digestion of proteins. This in itself enhances calorie burn due to the fact proteins require greater energy to be broken down whilst as compared to the alternative macronutrients namely: fat and carbohydrates.

There also are other health benefits to taking ACV. a number of These encompass:

It Prevents Fats Accumulation Controls Blood Sugar stages Helps In Suppressing Your appetite And It additionally Detoxifies The Body So are you able to believe what’s going to appear while you combine ACV with a powerful Fats burner like Garcinia Cambogia? high-quality things can take place.

So that you can get started out, just make sure that you have got an excessive fine logo of Garcinia and most effective take organic raw apple cider vinegar is unfiltered, unheated and unpasteurized.

Letting AI Into Our Lives

Generation pundits are expecting that the Era trending in 2017 might be Artificial Intelligence (AI). Interestingly, an enterprise chief record has additionally revealed that the cutting-edge average maturity rating of AI is 55% in India, which is substantially higher than the forty-six% scored through us.

Surprised? Nicely, AI has touched our lives in greater methods than we’re consciously aware. Examine on to see some of the methods we are already the usage of AI in our lives.letting go of someone you love.

VPA

You are meeting up along with your friends and you return round to the penultimate query,” In which can we pass for lunch?” And Siri, Google Now or Cortana comes to your rescue. Digital personal Assistants is one of the most common varieties of AI we use in our normal life. Primarily based on huge quantities of statistics accrued they offer you maximum applicable and tailored facts.

Driverless Motors

Using to the venue, even as you evade amateur drivers, speeding cab drivers and narrowly pass over being hit by means of a bus, you want you can have a vehicle that could force on its own. Now not simply wishful thinking – the driverless automobile is nearly a reality. Artificial Intelligence powered self-Driving Vehicles are being constructed with the aid of Google and Tesla and are predicted to hit the marketplace sooner than you watched.

Security

Involved in your bank account being misused online? Loosen up, AI can provide you with a warning inside moments on any suspicious or out of the everyday interest. the use of gadget getting to know Based totally on the evaluation of huge samples of records, AI can pick out signs and symptoms and indicators of fraudulent transactions and draw the attention of the account holder to avert this type of mishaps.

Chatbots

Browse any internet site and you will see the chat field pop up imparting your help. Ask your questions and get solutions in a jiffy, without spending time crawling the pages of the website for answers. You could Not comprehend it, but very often, it’s a talking bot replying to you, and Now not a real individual. But some other AI-powered creation!

Managing – Upward, Downward And Sideways

The first 30-days in a brand new control position is essential to survival–yours, your group’s, and your career. The way you manage your group’s performance, The way you manipulate your boss’s expectations, and the way you manage your own expectancies and performance will decide your process happiness and, possibly, your longevity on this new function.

Managing group performance is all about putting overall performance goals and conserving human beings responsible, imparting feedback and coaching humans to excessive tiers of productivity. It’s also approximately mentoring and being a frontrunner your crew respects. Many books and articles have focused upon team overall performance control; it is fairly simple. (For extra-precise records on Handling your team, see my article, “Confessions of a brand new Supervisor” in this website online.)

Dealing with your boss’s expectancies, however, isn’t always as in reality defined. “Handling upward” has been the problem of several control workshops, but we’ve got an easy three-step system which may additionally make this simpler to do.

[alienation2016-blog]

New Post has been published on Alienation

New Post has been published on https://alienation.biz/commonbond-now-offers-direct-student-loans-alongside/

CommonBond now offers direct student loans alongside

CommonBond, one among the largest of the second technology of startups tackling on-line lending, has released a direct scholar loan product because it expands its footprint in the debt enterprise.

The agency is understood for its strict qualification requirements for refinancing programs and with an initial recognition on the high crease of student lending (servicing most effective 20 — in the main ivy league — faculties and universities on the time of its launch), CommonBond has become a nascent force inside the student mortgage refinancing business.common bond definition

Now chief executive officer David Klein is popping the agency’s interest to direct lending

It’s the closing piece of the student lending puzzle that the business enterprise had but to remedy.

Other organizations in the lending market, like Pave and Upstart, had approached college financing with a version that exchanged training cash for a percent of a scholar’s future earnings, however, each has each pivoted away from equity financing to turn out to be directly personal creditors.

From the beginning, Klein says, CommonBond becomes going to technique student lending differently.

The trouble turned into perceptual, he stated. both Pave and Upstart confronted complaint of being business models supporting not anything extra than a current indentured servitude and it changed into a poor press that neither agency may want to shake.

Now CommonBond is attempting its hand at student lending with variable charges that start at 2.87% annual percent fee of fee and stuck fees that start at five.50% (with a reduction for auto payments).common bond reviews

College students will pay a fixed monthly price, thru an hobby-best payment, a complete monthly price and they usually have the choice to defer.

A Shared Experience Creates a Common Bond

Whether you belong to a sports group, a business or an army unit, you need to form right into a cohesive collective with the intention to get the excellent effects.

A common information and commonplace language are vital to a group developing a shared manner of running and being collective. Any leader who requires this from their crew has to deliver this fast that allows you to maximize its potential. If this is not carried out, the leader may be left with a collection of folks that create friction rather than concord.

It’s miles agreed that the fad for crew constructing events which pitted people in opposition to each other was quick-sighted. As were pre-season tours which saw sports activities teams pass wild in holiday resorts and often resulted in disciplinary movement. Those loopy and weird techniques used by sports activities groups and companies alike were visible to be greater dangerous than exact. However, an alternative remains required if a team is to bond.

Therefore it is really worth searching for the approaches that groups broaden so that you can face shared challenges.

1. military

Whether you have a look at a guy system gun team or a worldwide peace-preserving force, there must be a cohesion of effort and crew work so one can gain the project, specifically in adverse and austere environments. This starts of evolved from day one among education with the antique adage of ‘breaking someone down as a way to rebuild them into a soldier’. The training habitual is constructed around a perception that fulfillment can simplest come from running together. Positive there’s opposition between gadgets however never inside units themselves. There are shared studies at every factor, from sprucing boots together to enduring terrible climate to drinking beers afterward. How else can a group of ten squaddies get over a 12-foot wall than assist every different? Similarly, how ought to any soldier be expected to assault an enemy role unless he knew he became supported via different units? He is aware of there are help weapons, mortars, artillery, plane around him, that headquarters are looking him and helicopters are waiting to fly him to an awaiting medical institution if he receives injured. The whole lot is built around mutual assist. This simplest occurs because of the shared stories which he and his comrades percentage.

2. sports teams

Much like the navy, sports groups have a rotational shape which starts with young people improvement, the ones of their top and veterans who offer enjoy and instill the group tradition and records on the ones below. But, the coach of a sports activities team will doubtlessly be coping with 30 millionaires with big ego’s so has a whole lot distinct demanding situations when constructing team concord. The instruct has to ruthlessly cut people who try to take them on, for instance, Manchester United’s Sir Alex Ferguson did with some of ‘stars’. As soon as manage is established, the train needs to make sure that the crew shares stories so that you can develop collectively.

Importance Of Games In A Student’s Life

Video games help in retaining our frame and minds healthful. Video games in particular play an indispensable position in a scholar’s life. Greater than regularly, dad and mom ask their kids to awareness on research and now not waste their time in gambling Games. However, what they fail to understand is the reality that Games and sports help in instilling a feel of a subject in a pupil and lead them to suit mentally and physically. It additionally helps in building the self-self belief of a toddler. It also ends in the improvement of social abilities and decreases stress.

While children play, they get to learn to interact with new people.

They experience Extra at ease in socializing and making new pals. additionally, When youngsters indulge themselves in Video games, they experience strain-unfastened. Individuals who play some game or the opposite are recognized to have lesser chances of depression. playing Games additionally train the kid to work in groups. Games require an infant to have cooperation and coordination with the team individuals so as to get success. Hence, a child at a completely younger age learns the importance of working in groups with the help of Video games.

People additionally tend to be happier once they play Games. It additionally teaches them to have the functionality to cope with physical and emotional pain. Faculties need to strain the importance of Video games and sports in a scholar’s lifestyles. Those who are in the field of sports activities have excelled and have constantly spoken approximately how one must permit a child play. studies are essential But Games are important too. Be it indoor Games like carom, desk tennis, chess or outside Video games like cricket, football, Kabaddi, basketball or any other recreation that the child unearths thrilling, mother and father need to encourage them. parents should be a baby’s motivator and need to remember that Video games and sports activities are as critical as studies.

Easy Short Term Loans For Small Businesses

Permit’s count on you has got just commenced a brand new mission and plan to expand the later level. The scope of charges isn’t simply One-Dimensional, and consequently, cash flow will become crucial. The financial state of affairs nowadays is a chunk dicey, and starting the commercial enterprise project needs money. Arranging the money from loans is possible, however, it is also essential to assess the reasons for securing the road of credit. The credit line has to healthy your necessities.

For the reason that, you’re eager to gather finances for a smaller length, one option you can take into account applying is the clean Brief Time period loans. This credit score line is handy to reap and can be utilized as a running capital. At least, it affords a set amount of money that may be repaid in form of installments. The funding at first-rate appears perfect to tackle the small enterprise expenses.

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[papermoonloveslucy]

Lucy and Viv Open a Restaurant

S2;E20 ~ February 17, 1964

Synopsis

Lucy talks Viv buying a run-down cafe. Unable to attract even a single customer, they transform it into a gypsy tea room and then a Colonial themed restaurant – all to no avail. When Mr. Mooney learns a highway will be built nearby, he offers to become a partner. Unfortunately, blasting for the highway ruins both the café and any chance for success.

Regular Cast

Lucille Ball (Lucy Carmichael), Vivian Vance (Vivian Bagley), Gale Gordon (Theodore J. Mooney)

Candy Moore (Chris Carmichael), Ralph Hart (Sherman Bagley) and Jimmy Garrett (Jerry Carmichael) do not appear in this episode. Jerry, however, is mentioned.

Guest Cast

Kathleen Freeman (Olga, the Cook, below left) was ‘born in a trunk’ to a family of vaudevillians. She made her stage debut at age two in her parents’ act. Equally at home on screen and stage, Freeman was appearing on Broadway in The Full Monty in 2001 when she died of lung cancer. This is the second of her five appearances in various character roles on “The Lucy Show.”

This episode was first aired on Freeman’s 45th birthday!

Jack Albertson (Herbert, the Waiter, above right) played the airport dispatcher arranging the helicopter when Lucy misses the ship in “Bon Voyage” (ILL S5;E13). He went on to win a 1969 Oscar for The Subject Was Roses. He would also play Grandpa Joe in the 1971 movie Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, but is perhaps best known as ‘the man’ on the TV series “Chico and the Man,” which won him a 1974 Emmy. 

Alan Hewitt (Mr. Dutton, Society Columnist for the Danfield Tribune) was a veteran of sixteen Broadway shows, including the original production of Death of a Salesman (1949) and Call Me Madam starring Ethel Merman (1950). From 1964 to 1966 he played Detective Brennan on “My Favorite Martian.” This is his only appearance opposite Lucille Ball.  

Benny Rubin (Mr. Smith, Linen Supplier, below center) played the snarky Hollywood Bus Driver in “The Tour” (ILL S4;E30). His first “Lucy Show” appearance was in “Lucy and the Runaway Butterfly” (S1;E29). The recognizable character actor is probably best remembered for his association with Jack Benny.

Jay Ose (Mr. Jones, Linen Supplier, above right) made a career combining gambling and up close magic involving cards. He was a favorite at Hollywood’s Magic Castle Club. In this episode, he demonstrates his skills by pulling the table clothes off the tables without disrupting the place settings. Ose has no dialogue; Rubin does all the talking for the pair.

Rubin and Ose are not referred to by their last names in the episode. At one point, however, Rubin does call Ose “Charley.”  

Sid Gould (Mailman) made 46 appearances on “The Lucy Show,” all as background characters. He also played a Mailman in “Lucy and the Military Academy” (S2;E10). He did more than 40 episodes of “Here’s Lucy.” Gould (born Sydney Greenfader) was Lucille Ball’s cousin by marriage to Gary Morton. Gould was married to Vanda Barra, who also appeared on “The Lucy Show” starting in 1967, as well as on “Here’s Lucy.”

James Gonzales (Mr. Dutton’s Dinner Guest) was a popular Hollywood extra who first acted with Lucille Ball in the 1953 film The Long, Long Trailer. He was previously seen on the series as Stan Williams in “Lucy Digs Up a Date” (S1;E2). He was seen in more than 20 episodes of “The Lucy Show” and 3 episodes of “Here’s Lucy.” In this episode, he has a line of dialogue when ordering dinner. 

William Meader (Mr. Dutton’s Dinner Guest) had appeared as an airport extra in “The Ricardos Go to Japan,” a 1959 episode of “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour.” He made many appearances on “The Lucy Show,” most times as a clerk in Mr. Mooney’s bank. In this episode, he has a line of dialogue when ordering dinner.

Three uncredited women play Mr. Dutton’s other dinner guests.

This episode was filmed on December 19, 1963, the last before the holiday hiatus. The final draft of the script was dated December 12, 1963. It was the 50th episode of the series to be filmed. Although filmed in color, CBS originally aired it in black and white. 

The night this episode originally aired (Monday, February 17, 1964) opposite “The Lucy Show” on ABC, “Wagon Train” featured Eliva Allman (left) Marjorie Bennett (center), and Amzie Strickland (right), all of whom had been seen on “I Love Lucy” and “The Lucy Show.” 

Lucy responds to an ad in the Danfield Tribune. 

“For Sale: Beautiful Restaurant! Great Location! Real Money-Maker!  A-1 Condition!”

Viv puts down $1,000 of her ‘nest egg’ to buy the restaurant. 

VIV: “If I want to spend a thousand dollars for a meal, I’ll rent a couple of togas and fly in Cary Grant for a Roman banquet.”  

Viv may be referring to the 1961 romantic comedy Come September, starring Cary Grant and Gina Lollobridgida and set in Italy. The handsome actor was first mentioned on the series in “No More Double Dates” (S1;E21). He was mentioned in four episodes of “I Love Lucy,” all during the gang’s stay in Hollywood.  

Lucy and Viv’s newly refurbished Four Corners Cafe brings in no customers in five days of being “Under New Management”!   

Chef Olga’s Advice: “Push the lobster. In one more day he has to go bye-bye.”

Lucy and Viv apply for a GI Loan due to their service in the WAVES. Viv says 'serving their country’ consisted of typing eight hours a day in the Navy purchasing department. Lucy and Viv’s experience in the WAVES was established in “Lucy Becomes an Astronaut” (S1;E6). Unfortunately, they discover they are one week past the ten year window of eligibility. The special delivery letter from the Veteran’s Administration is signed John Foley. In real life, John Foley was the name of the series’ editor.

LUCY: “How about making it a Spanish restaurant? VIV: “Great! How about calling it El Fiasco.”

They settle on a Gypsy Tea Room serving Hungarian fare. 

The Gypsy Tea Room – In “No More Double Dates” (S1;E21) Lucy wanted to go to a restaurant called Café Tambourine.

Chef Olga’s Advice: “Push the Hungarian Goulash.”

Lucy Ricardo played Camille, the snaggle-toothed Queen of the Gypsies in “The Pleasant Peasant” during the episode “The Operetta” (ILL S2'E5). This time, Lucy plays the violin while Viv has the tambourine. Lucy Carmichael first played the violin in “Lucy the Music Lover” (S1;E8). Lucille Ball learned to play violin for that episode, but only managed to muster a squeaky rendition of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.” In this episode, Lucille Ball is not actually playing. 

When the Gypsy Tea Room doesn’t work out, they change to an Early American motif, complete with the George and Martha as greeters. 

The Colonial Inn - This was also the name of a Colonial-themed establishment mentioned in “No More Double Dates” (S1;E21).  

Chef Olga’s Advice: “Push the Yankee Pot Roast.”

Before quitting, Olga suggests that Viv (dressed as Martha Washington) close the restaurant and open a candy store. The Martha Washington Candy stores were a national chain started in the 1890s, selling ice cream and chocolates, and furnished in an early American motif. By their peak in the twenties, there were several hundred stores across the country, but the Depression and the death of their founder hit them hard and most of the stores had closed by the mid-thirties, although a few lingered into the mid-forties.  

The writer of the society column for the Danfield Tribune comes to the Colonial Inn because the bridge to Ridgebury is out. In “Lucy Becomes a Reporter” (S1;E17) Lucy fills in for The Danfield Tribune’s society column editor Betty Gillis.

Mr. Mooney mentions that the new highway to New Rochelle will bypass Brewster and tunnel through Stone Mountain providing the restaurant lots of potential customers. Or so he thinks!

Genealogists say that Lucille Ball is a distant cousin of George Washington!

Lucille Ball in front of the show curtain for publicity stills. (photos by Getty Images)

Callbacks!

This story resembles “The Girls Go Into Business” (ILL S3;E2), where Lucy and Ethel buy Hanson’s Dress Shop, which becomes a potentially much bigger real estate deal when a developer wants to turn the property into a skyscraper.  In “The Diner” (ILL S3;E27) the Ricardos and the Mertzes partnered to open a restaurant: A Little Bit of Cuba / A Big Hunk of America. 

The bank of wooden ice box doors glimpsed in the kitchen area are the same units used on “I Love Lucy” in “The Diner”, in Tony’s during “The Black Wig”, and in the kitchen of the unnamed Italian restaurant in “Equal Rights”!   

Fast Forward!

George Washington (Don Wilson) dropped by for a word with Mr. and Mrs. Paul Revere (Lucy and Jack Benny) on “The Jack Benny Program” in October 1964, eight months after “Lucy and Viv Open A Restaurant”. 

The construction of a new highway through town is what galvanizes Lucy Carmichael and all of Bancroft into action in “Main Street U.S.A.” and “Lucy Puts Main Street On the Map” during season five. 

Mr. Mooney briefly appeared as ‘the Father of His Country’ (in painting form) when “Lucy Gets Mooney Fired” during season six. 

Blooper Alerts!

Memory Lapse! Viv says they started to live together six years ago. Just ten shows earlier, in "The Loophole in the Lease” (S2;E12), Lucy said they had lived together for 5 years.

Where There’s Smoke... When Lucy backs into the candle setting her wig on fire, the smoke is clearly emanating from the wall panel behind her, even after she moves away.  Also, the 'smoke’ behaves very much like dry ice, clinging to the counter top.

“Lucy and Viv Open a Restaurant” Rates 4 Paper Hearts out of 5  

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