#potato cannon

[thatonelemoneater]

Dear science side of tumblr

if you have the time and crayons please explain why this would be a good (or more likely bad) idea

[johnnyclover]

Dude, Johnny’s teeth are MESSED UP. Like, there are teeth overlapping each other, crooked, and yellow. There is also tooth-gap, and some teeth missing as well. There’s at least two teeth missing in his mouth, and it makes it hard to chew you know?

“Ow-“ Johnny yelped, looking over at the bags of chips that he was holding.

“Ya’ okay, Johnny cakes?” Twobit asked looking over at Johnny.

“I’m fine, just..” Johnny sighed, trying to get the piece of chip out of his gums, “Just my lousy teeth..”

[jungkookverse]

Jungkook's new piercing 🥹

[skeleticals]

DID U GUYS SEE THE POTATOS DROPPING.....

[acearohippo]

Mermay's over, but I'm not done with it! Anyway mermaid Tang Xuan Au where Tang Xuan is a octopus based mermaid and Li Ling is like a rich aristocrat. They meet when they are kids and become best friends then Tang Xuan goes away. So a few years down Li Ling is an adult and thinks he made it up till Tang Xuan shows up again. Lewis is also going to be in this idea (cause he deserves it) but I don't have an exact idea. I'm thinking sailor who was friends with Xuan and Ling when younger and also has to go away but stayed in contact with Tang Xuan

You put down Octupus!Merman!Tang Xuan, solid as octopus are know for their flexibility and adaptability, but I raise you WingedFish!merman!Tang Xuan, specifically Four Winged Flying Fish. Fast, sleek, [small,] and can perform decent feats of acrobatics when it launches itself out if the water and into the air. They use their ability to speed boost to outmanoeuvre predators, so they're agile too!

Lewis would be a legend, spread in multiple small towns and isolated villages, as a pirate who shows no mercy to other ships that cross his territory, his wrath setting ships ablaze with a terrifying plume of fire that the townsfolk can see clearly from the comforts of their beach. The screams of these tortured sailors travel with the wind from their emblazed ship, providing easy fodder to scare unruly children into doing their chores and listening to their elders.

In reality, Lewis is in a petty sibling cat-and-mousrle game with Bonnie, Lewis actually being part of the Western King's admiral fleet and trying to catch up to his Pirate!Sister before the Royal Navals find her. She smuggles herself onto pirate ships, in the hopes of joining a crew and going on bloody adventures, but since she's a bit too... Excitable... And aggressive... And bloodthirsty... The Royal Naval fleet always gets involved, and Lewis is almost always there to at least rangle her off the ship. He is fine with his sister's dreams, he just wishes they were a tad less violent so he didn't have to lose sleep over her potentially getting caught and sent to the gallows.

With that being said, Bonnie is a bit of a legend herself, among the pirates, as her figure holding a crude, hodge podge farming scythe in one hand and a ball of fire (actually a lit flask) in the other, is the omen before their ship explodes and they're left to die a slow death. She appears out of nowhere and vanishes just as abruptly too.

Then everything you said is happening between our two boys, with the added spice that Li Ling goes off to find his friend, with the idea to find this Legend and join his crew, so that there will be no rules stopping them and no eyes and ears reporting back to his family. Of course, he hops on his Best Friend's™ ship, Lewis, not realising that this man is the Legend and Lewis can only keep a poker face and act like this Fire Fist legend is someone he's met rather than himself.

[itstimeforstarwars]

https://youtube.com/shorts/-5_CZQSJ6Gk?si=92NsUIn1ghx0DTxO

Made me think of your Work Posts

[Video link]

I've actually been on both sides of this conversation lmaooo this is one of my favorite types of customer.

[anxiousnuggetv]

@pibeapplewitch

[john-a-smooth]

Building a jar cannon to annihilate all those who oppose me

[cowboy-kin]

got my fat ass stuck in the butch lesbian to trans man pipeline and i just kinda shrugged and got comfortable

[randomwritingdrabbles]

Mobei-jun knows this for certain because he researched this under the assumption that at some point Shang Qinghua would probably get cold.

(He would hand over his cloak but then his bare tits would be on show and Qinghua gets weird about that)

Shen Qingqiu: I'm cold.

Luo Binghe: Here, Shizun, take my hoodie.

*meanwhile*

Shang Qinghua: I'm cold.

Mobei-Jun: I can't control the weather, Qinghua.

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

req'd by @mieczyhale

is this. is this what you yell before you launch a potato cannon's worth of cavatappi straight into someone's face?

text: PASTA LA VISTA, EYESIGHT!

[pumpkinbxtch]

Hey!! Could you do aftercare Leo Valdez head cannons please!!

˗ˏˋ leo valdez | aftercare headcanons

☆ radiostar is playin': 1-2-3 by gloria estefan and miami sound machine...!

warnings; allusions to sex, language a/n; hey! you mean my favorite boy? absolutely yes. tags; @green-tea217

Maybe he doesn't look like it to some, but...

he's a total love machine.

he's all smiles afterward, feeling silly with that afterglow vibe he always tries to spread around, and it works.

both literally have that goofy grin while catching your breath.

you feel that love in your stomach and-

stop Let's move on!

yet you still end up drained.

Leo rolls over to see you (with flushed cheeks and sweat on his forehead) and admires how you slowly recover, whispering sweet (but also teasing) things to you.

"That's my girl," "Hmm, you've never looked better, huh?" and he makes you blush, but he also makes you feel loved.

Then he opens his arms and raises an eyebrow, testing the waters to see what you want at that moment.

If you hug him, he'll hold you until you say you want to move, cuddling with you while stroking your hair.

He traces your skin delicately with his index finger.

there are moments when you're drifting off to sleep in his arms, feeling the taps on your bare back in Morse code. "I love you."

"Me too," you respond weakly, smiling against his chest. He grins like a fool.

He also buries his face in the crook of your neck, and you run your fingers through his curls that tickle your jaw.

He looks for you a lot too, in a way to let you know how good he feels with you.

Anyway, if what you want afterward is a bit of privacy to be alone, he'll get up, put on his boxers, and walk to your side of the bed to tuck you in with the sheets.

"I'll be back, mi amor," he says after giving you a kiss on the forehead and brushing your hair away from your face.

That man cooks for you, like REALLY cooks. You know because you smell the pasta cooking in the kitchen from his room.

He checks on you and brings you water a couple of times.

He sits on the edge of his bed and hands you the glass with a beaming smile. When you give it back, he sets it on the nightstand for a moment and asks if you're feeling okay.

"Everything alright?" he whispers sweetly while holding your chin and locking his chocolate eyes with yours.

You nod, and he kisses you.

He tells you the food will be ready soon, then offers to take you to the bathroom so you can shower.

That mf has gotten really strong. He can carry you however he wants, but he does it by throwing you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and runs to the bathroom laughing like a kid.

When you enter, you see he's already placed your towel nearby for you to take, and when you come out to dress, you see he's left your -his- clothes for you to wear.

Before you eat together, he does the same and includes tidying up the room.

he wants you to feel comfortable, happy, and he succeeds.

when he's ready, he hugs you from behind and kisses your neck, you jump when you feel his wet hair but it gives you relief to feel him close.

"Hungry?" he whispers in your ear while gently tightening his embrace and smiling like the damn devil because he's saying it with a double meaning.

"you'll be the death of me, babe" he says because he really can't help but drool over you when you walk around in his clothes.

Both return to bed for a cuddle session and sweet whispers in each other's ears.

he uses his warmth powers for you, which is the best when the weather is cold or rainy.

"You're too good for me," he says and gives you a slow kiss while caressing your cheek.

you enjoy resting on his chest, and he's delighted with it.

You sleep entwined with each other, he's the big spoon, you're the little one.

He lives to see you happy and satisfied, doing it with love and kindness because he's your man.

[xxxsaturnxx]

König head cannons

As requested on my most recent poll!! I did try to keep it very neutral and ‘fluffy’. Please let me know who else i should write for im always looking for new ideas!!

König keeps a little journal with him at all times when he’s deployed. Just something to vent at or doodle in. He’s not the best artist but he tries, he even has small doodles in almost every page that kind of look like you.

His journal is VERY private the only person thats allowed to take a peak in there every now and then is you. Sometimes when he’s busy somewhere else in the house and he leaves his journal unattended you put tiny love notes in the corners of the pages.

While he’s not deployed König has three moods. Couch potato, horn dog, and the biggest ball of energy anyones ever seen.

König in couch potato mode is just a giant weighted blanket. He’ll lay on the couch taking up the entire couch just watching a movie or show of his choosing. You can try to join him but only if you can lift a part of him up, and if you can’t the floor or his lap would do fine.

König while he’s all energetic can mean a couple things for you. He’ll either want you to join him on a run or hike, but his idea of a small hike or a short run might just kill you half way through.

NSFW MDNI

When könig is riled up he’s practically glued to you in someway. His hands would most likely fall on your chest or waist trying to feel every inch of skin he can reach. His mouth would be marking you all over your neck, chest, and legs are going to be covered with bite marks and hickes red and sore.

Sometimes when he’s particularly desperate humping is to be expected. In those times you can bring down this massive 6’10 hulking man into nothing more than a whiny mess, Begging for your touch. He’ll look up at you while on his knees with those beautiful ocean eyes begging for any kind of attention/friction.

If hes just gotten back from deployment best believe the first thing hes looking for is you. He’ll drop everything at the door slamming it with his foot. The second he spots you his hands and lips are all over you. He mumbles against your skin about how much hes missed you before taking your lips into his.

Later that day he makes sure that you feel every inch second hes missed you. Almost breaking the bed, couch, you and table throughout the night. He does make sure to slow down every once and a while to just love on you and to also give you a break.

Königs stamina is very well above average much like the rest of him. He understands that breaks are important so you don’t break. ( as euphoric as it would be)

His after care routine is just as much for you as it is for him. Back rubs, bathroom trips and head scratches are some favorites but just having him there still breathing heavy wiping the sweat from your brow and giving you soft kisses all over your face is definitely on the top of all favorites.

König rarely loses control when you’re together, always couscous of how you feel and react. But there are those moments when he just snaps in the best way possible.

Sometimes he snaps before hes even entered you and he just grips the base of your head and positions you like you’re nothing more than a rag doll. König just relentlessly thrusting in and out of you while hes holding you still with one hand pushing your head down by your neck and the other sinking into your hip.

Other times könig and you are mid stroke when he snaps. Positioning you under him almost being crushed by his weight. He mindlessly pounds into you like a wild animal, both times ending with him filling you over and over again till hes had his fill, leaving you dripping and cock drunk.

It is almost guaranteed that you wake up the next morning sore and bruised but very satisfied. He’ll apologize for losing control by pampering you the entire day, so expect a lot of cuddles, kisses, and being fed your favorite foods.

[nrr-jaune]

Feel like Gray needs more space! She's so cute. Curious of what she's looking at.

There is a headcanon that White uses a lot of booby traps because he is not very good at shooting.

Black is more skilled with weapons.

[seat-safety-switch]

A lot of people at Home Depot are getting froggy at my comparison of them to the Third Reich. This is, of course, a media fabrication. The Nazis had easy access to working tools, and lumber that was straight. What I actually called them was “a group of useless, tin-hat fascists that can’t even stock a fucking lightswitch.”

Back when I was a kid, small hardware stores were all over the place. You could get on your bicycle and ride over to the local lumber shop, and a weird old guy would tell you what stuff to buy, occasionally implying that he was your real father. Then you’d ride home, and finish your project, happy in the knowledge that at least you could control the construction of a potato cannon or low-dimensional-stability, non-permitted birdhouse.

At some point, buoyed by the renovation-crazy era of reality television, the big hardware giants started rolling in. They’d buy out or crush all of these little hardware stores. Why would you go to two of them, they’d ask, when you can get all your stuff here, in one trip, for cheaper? This would be a great thing indeed, if I didn’t have to go to three different big-box hardware stores in order to satisfy literally any weekend project shopping list.

At least with Abnormal Ed’s House of an Unusual Amount of Paracord, you’d know what you were getting into, and if you shopped at his place a lot, he’d probably start stocking the stuff you need. With Home Depot, you’re not even a blip on their immense Excel spreadsheet of Raw Data Pure Data Good Data. With an international reach, your insane hyper-local desires (limited to your house) average out to nothing against the demands of everyone else. There’s no way you can potentially influence them to start offering something unprofitable like, say, white spray paint, or hammers that aren’t made of tinfoil, without taking hostages.

What can we do about this? Other than building a time machine and going back to save small hardware stores – which would probably require buying some parts at Home Depot, which means we’d be wasting a beautiful Saturday afternoon driving all over the city just to pick up red and black wire – the only thing we can do is convince them that an even larger, angrier, hardware store is coming to kill them.

I got the idea when I had a bunch of sparrows flying into my kitchen window. You cut out some silhouettes of bigger birds and just paste them on there. They think a bunch of giant crows are hiding behind the window, and steer clear. It took a lot of time to construct an entire elaborate replica of a hardware store megaconsortium in the empty parking lot next to the Home Depot headquarters, and it was very hard to paint the Chinese ideographs for “HILARIOUS FUN DOESN’T STOCK UNPROFITABLE ITEMS RENOVATION DEPOT” while holding on to the 60th storey of a Potemkin building made entirely out of old cardboard boxes, but I managed to pull it off. You could hear the lifetime middle managers shrieking in fear of their new competitors from blocks away, and by the time I got home, the local Home Depot had finally decided to stock both light fixtures and light bulbs.

[icycoldninja]

Helloooo I want size difference head cannons w sparda boys plz u.u

Yes!!!!!!

Sparda boys x Reader size difference headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-Dante is a pretty big, pretty buff dude and he knows it.

-He'll tease you by holding things out of your reach, purposely placing things on the top shelf, etc., just to mess with you.

-Sometimes makes you jump for things, treating you like a little struggling puppy.

-Can pick you up and toss you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and he will, regardless of how much you kick and flail.

-He loves picking you up and giving you piggy back rides. Even if it's an extremely childish thing to do, you guys still enjoy it.

-You will have to worry about losing circulation when you're cuddling as his sheer size can completely crush your small frame.

■ Vergil ■

-Vergil torments you with his size, merely because it feeds his ego.

-He likes to watch you struggle to take things from him, wrap your arms all the way around his torso, and so on; it gives him a sick sense of satisfaction.

-He abuses his POWER by secretly placing items in high places when you're not looking, then gloatingly coming to your rescue when you need help that you otherwise wouldn't need had he not been so cruel.

-He definitely smothers you with hugs and crushes you with his weight to make up for that, though.

-He doesn't like carrying you around because he feels ridiculous, but when you beg with your pouty, puppy eyes, he crumbles.

-Ends up toting you around as if you were his child, and because of your size, from afar, people think you are.

□ Nero □

-Nero is big and strong, meanwhile you're small and cute. Nero feels so proud to be your big bad protector.

-He loves lifting you up and twirling you around every time he comes home from missions because it's so easy and it makes you so happy.

-He helps you when you need something from the top shelf, but unlike his father and uncle, he's no tease.

-He controls himself, not at all going power-crazy like his dear old Pops. No, Nero is a gentleman who uses his size to benefit the both of you, not just him.

-Is pretty awkward so he doesnt initiate physical contact much, but once you do, hugs and cuddles will immediately follow.

-Accidentally puts you in a chokehold when he's trying to wrap his arm around you, but don't worry, he doesn't squeeze. Much.