#posting this with no editing/revision fuck it we ball

[inquisitor-apologist]

hi I would personally LOVE to read thousands of essays on your thoughts about the inquisitors, so if you feel comfy posting them just know they will be received with gratitude :)

Alright, I’ve got a 4-hour car ride, so nothing but time.

The first thing that I’d say is absolutely essential to my understanding of/obsession with the Inquisitorius is that they’re expendable. Both in-text and out-of-text, they’re disposable and that is absolutely essential to their whole existence.

On the Doylist level, the Rebels team created them/reincorporated them to canon to be the replaceable early series antagonists. They're there to build the characters up to face the real threats of Maul’s temptation to the dark and Thrawn’s existential threat to the Rebel cause. The rest of the Star Wars media that shows them only reinforces this.

In Kenobi, they're there in the background, to set up Reva (who is, in the show, functionally not an Inquisitor) and Vader, in J:FO they're scary bad guys meant to be defeated and killed for Cal's growth (though, notably, J:FO is one of the only pieces of Inquisitor media that views them as victims worthy of empathy), and, while I haven't read (all of) the Vader comics, they're in the Vader comics, not in their own stories.

On the Watsonian level, they’re a sort of… buffer between the true power of the Sith and the public. They’re the one attacking the regular Force-sensitives and taking babies (someone much more qualified than me could probably talk a LOT about the very interesting ways the Jedi, Empire, and Inquisition (like, come on) parallel and draw from Judaism and historical antisemitism) and they’re the ones the Rebellion direct their anger about the Jedi Purge at. It’s easy for the two masterminds and main perpetrators to hide behind the atrocities of a dozen faceless subordinates.

This is really clearly shown in Kenobi, where the Inquisitors are dismissed as “Jedi who turned to the dark side. Now, they hunt their own kind”. They’re not seen as victims who’ve been forced into self-destructive monsters, but as the perpetrators of their own genocide, personas that they readily claim. I mean, Reva is literally a survivor of the Temple Massacre who was turned into one of the Inquisitors that Obi-Wan dismisses as traitors. They’re very convenient, effective, scapegoats.

That’s honestly a very underrated part of Palpatine’s genius; one of his most important traits is his ability to manipulate the media. By creating the Inquisitors and delegating most of the work of completing the Purge to them, he distances both himself and Vader from any public outcry against the actions of the Inquisitorius (and, to some extent, their own actions), allowing Vader to be seen as a more legitimate military officer and extension of the Emperor’s will, which is itself legitimized by that distance.

The lines between the Emperor, Vader, and the Inquisitors are also very important. There's a very clear distinction between the Sith and the Inquisitors in of autonomy, which is the second thing that defines my view of the Inquisitors. The Inquisitors are largely pawns for Palpatine’s ends, manipulated and indoctrinated kids, and as such there’s kind of a spectrum of the Empire’s Force-sensitive hierarchy between Sidious, Vader, and the Inquisitors.

Sidious is the first extreme, where he chose everything; he Fell on purpose, became a Sith on purpose, consolidated power and killed the Jedi on purpose, became Emperor on purpose. And then there’s Vader, who very much chose to Fall, kill the Jedi, and become a Sith, but he was manipulated and pushed to it by Sidious. He chose, but Sidious kind of underlies all those choices, driving him to them. Lastly, the Inquisitors chose nothing; they were hunted and persecuted by Vader and the Sith, then tortured and indoctrinated to serve Sidious, brainwashed into continuing to serve. It’s really a gradient of autonomy, if you think about it; Sidious is the only Dark Sider afforded full choice, both by the narrative and in-universe.

The Inquisitors are, fundamentally, kids ripped from their family and people, tortured and indoctrinated into self-loathing and anger. They don’t get names; they’re told they were born wrong and tortured until they believe it, then pressed into service, because, while they might have been born wrong, they were also born useful.

This is why I kind of hate the idea of Inquisitors who choose to join, and one of the reasons I’m not particularly inclined to read the new Inquisitor book (also it apparently implies that the tortured inquisitors were actually just. Force-brainwashed??). One of the most interesting and most fundamental things about them is that they are victims of horrific genocide coerced into becoming their own oppressors. If you take that away, you make them so much less interesting—they turn into stock evil traitors.

The protagonist of the new Inquisitor book is, from what I’ve gathered, a jerk who was already half-fallen in the Clone Wars and who seized the chance to gain more power with the Empire. That’s just diet Vader, and I, personally, have seen too much of both real Vader and diet vaders, so I’m not interested.

So, uh, @stellanslashgeode, you asked me for my thoughts on Iskat Akaris, here they are. Sorry it’s probably not what you wanted.

So, like, there’s my opinion on the fandom-and-canon obsession with Inquisitors who chose the Empire. We literally haven’t seen pretty much anything about how the normal inquisitors join, can we focus on the actually interesting stuff? The Inquisitors' lack of autonomy, their lack of choice, is a huge part of what fascinates me so much about them, because it's very unique. Let's not take that away.

Another piece of why I think the Inquisitors are so interesting is how their abuse at the hands of the Empire shapes them, though this part has more speculation than the stuff above due to lack of clear information.

In canon, we know that inquisitors go through fucking hellish initiation criteria (“Isolation! Torture! Mutilation!”), stuff that absolutely breaks them until they no longer believe that the Empire can be stopped at all (“You can’t stop the Empire!” “She said something about becoming an Inquisitor… like it’s inevitable”). We also know that, however it happens, it's very fast and effective. The Vader Comics are set just months after Order 66, and there's already at least ten fully initiated Inquisitors.

Unfortunately, we never directly see the exact initiation protocols the Inquisitors are subject to, but we do get quick glimpses, like in the flashbacks from J:FO, and with Reva in Kenobi. Right now, I want to look at what those flashbacks from J:FO, together with the dialogue above, tells us about what exactly happens to Inquisitors.

In the flashback, we see Trilla, strapped to the torture chair that Cere's in later in the flashback, being subjected to Star Wars' favorite kind of torture, weird electricity chairs. I'm going to call them shockseats, just to distinguish them from real-life electric chairs. We transition from the torture to some time later, when Second Sister has been fully turned, wearing the Inquisitor uniform and everything.

That, annoyingly enough, is all we get to work with. It's basically the "Being tortured makes you evil" trope, but Ninth Sister's dialogue gives it some nuance. She says "Isolation! Torture! Mutilation!", and, well, we just saw the torture part, and I'm guessing the mutilation is the whole thing in the comics where Vader teaches the Inquisitors by cutting their limbs off, so that leaves isolation, which I think is probably a very significant part of the process.

Based on the vault vision and the Fortress Inquisitorius section in J:FO, most of the Fortress's prison has a kind-of panopticon feel, with see-through energy shields, guards everywhere, and several prisoners in one cell, so I'm guessing there are probably some deeper isolation cells. The isolation is probably where most of the indoctrination happens, because we never hear anyone saying anything during the torture scenes.

This is mostly headcanon from the scraps we get, but I'd say initiation probably goes something like this: 1. a survivor is captured 2. They're taken to Nur, and tortured on the way there (per Rebels) 3 The timeline here is annoyingly unclear but I think the ‘isolation’/indoctrination comes before the rest? 4. They're tortured in an attempt to get them to turn to the Dark Side 5. They're somehow fully initiated into the Inquisitorius with their full title and uniform 6. They're trained ('mutilation') 7. They're a full Inquisitor

obv I have headcanons (ie a full-on not-really canon-compliant system that I think works better than the disjointed 'being tortured makes you evil' bits we have now, but I'm trying to stay as canon-compliant here as possible) but I think this is about what we get in canon, and it’s kind of necessary to have a vague idea about what probably happens in order to understand them, and dang is this very important to basically their entire self-concepts.

In Kenobi, Third Sister is hated by all the others, probably for not going through what they did. We see throughout the show that she’s just as good, or better, than most of them, but because she wasn’t tortured (or, at least, not to the same extent), the rest despise her. She does the exact same things we've consistently seen all the other Inquisitor's do, but she's punished and derided for it. In J:FO, Second Sister goes out and threatens civilians in order to draw Cal out, and everyone’s fine with it, but when Reva does it, everyone hates her.

There’s no rational reason; she does exactly what they do , what she’s been taught to do, but she’s treated differently. The only reason for this, in-universe, is that she’s the only Inquisitor we know of that wasn’t brought in for being a Jedi—she explicitly hides that she was one. The rest of the Inquisitors clearly do hate each other, but it’s on a different level with her, because they do not see her as one of them. She wasn’t a Jedi, and thus she didn’t go through the same things they did. There seems to be a sort-of trauma-induced bond between the other Inquisitors. They hate each other, but they all see each other as Inquisitors, largely the same as them. They don’t share that with Reva because whatever happened to them didn’t happen to her, to the same extent.

Connecting to my earlier point about Inquisitors who chose to join, I think that that's WAY more interesting than a bunch of jerk coworkers who just decided to be evil.

These people were family in the Jedi, and then their whole family died as they watched and heard and felt it in their brains, and they were chased and hunted and tortured until they broke and brought back together, warped and different and told to call each other siblings—and at this point, aren’t they? They were raised together in the bowels of Nur, subjected to the same horror and misery; they’ve been through everything together, in the worst way possible, constantly competing and fighting and killing for anything they can get. Who else could understand them in any meaningful way?

I'm getting off-topic, but the physical abuse and torture of the Inquisitors seems fundamental to their identity, even if we don't know exactly what it entailed. 

So, with the isolation and indoctrination, I think it's fair to say that there's probably quite a lot of mental abuse there. The Dark Side, in itself, is pretty horrible mental health-wise (the Jedi actively use cognitive behavioral therapy just to prevent the possibility of the Dark) and being literally tortured and forced into it must be like. so much worse. Plus, isolation has been shown to be really fucking awful for your brain and the Inquisitor’s utter hopelessness (they literally do not believe that the Empire can be stopped and are really angry at anyone who tries) kind of seems like the whole being unable to believe that things can be better and getting angry at people who try to help part of depression? 

Basically I don’t really know enough about mental health to say definitively, but I’m guessing a core part of Inquisitor Initiation is like. Insane mental abuse to get them to crack.

This last bit is less supported, and I know even less about it, so I’m going to keep this real brief, but I think there’s a possibility of some sexual abuse as well? This is a pretty big thing in fanon with the Grand Inquisitor, and then there’s all the creepy pervy stuff with Seventh Sister that she did not learn from the Jedi, but that’s as much as I’ll say for that because I know nothing about this kind of thing.

So, those are really the three things that define the Inquisitors to me: their expendability, lack of autonomy, and how their abuse defines them. I could write more on this, but this post took a fucking month already, so I’ll stick to those points.

[exhuastedpigeon]

hiii my lovely, 29 & 53 for the writers ask? 💛💛

Hi Newbie 💛💛

29. What’s your revision or editing process like? Chaos? Usually I'll write a fic or chapter, walk away, reread it and edit it for content. Then walk away again before reviewing it for grammar. Then I'll listen to it with a screen reader to catch and typos that I missed in the previous editing sessions.

If it's a fic I'm not sure about/stopped liking during the editing process I'll send it to @acountrygirlsfun or @rosieposiepuddingnpie for their thoughts.

If they read it and enjoy it I review it one more time before posting.

Alternatively, sometimes I finish writing and post a fic without review it at all and yell "FUCK IT WE BALL" as I hit post on ao3.

53. How do you spend your time when it comes to fanfiction? Are you primarily a fic reader, writer, or a perfect 50/50 split of both? I go in waves. If I'm on a writing heater I tend to read a lot less fic (85/15 split probably). When I'm really struggling with writers block I tend to read a lot more (80/20 split probably).

There's rarely a time that I'm not both reading and writing, it just ebbs and flows.

Get to know your fic writer!

[professionalwritingnerd]

What are the major changes you've made in your rewrite so far?

I been waiting for this. LET’S GO. I’ll put this under a keep reading in case anyone doesn’t want spoilers and just wants to discover everything with the story.

Plus, there’s a lot here, so this is also in case you don’t want a WALL OF TEXT. Bear in mind these aren’t ALL of the changes I have so far, just the major ones for now.

I’ll address how Danny gets his powers at a later time cause that’s a whole other. Thing.

Danny is a He/They Non-Binary, but he hasn’t figured it out yet. Give him time.

He also has ADHD and is fully medicated. Medication or not, though, it still makes life difficult for him.

Maddie and Jack are fully employed as independent inventors and technical/electrical engineers, selling inventions and doing for-hire tech work on the side. This wealth enables them to fund their ghost hunting side-business, and enables them to fully support their kids.

Alongside Jazz, Danny now has a younger sister, Noelle; we call her Noa. She’s eight, autistic, is a tiny blonde haired, blue-eyed spitfire who looks like a Barbie Doll but absolutely knows that she’s at “prime ball punching height” with everyone. She looked death in the face and laughed as a newborn.

Everyone in the Fenton family has an animal companion they usually bring everywhere with them, if possible. It’s kind of a tradition where each Fenton gets one when they turn ten; whether Jack started it or inherited it from generations has yet to be decided.

Danny’s is a blonde ferret named Lola.

Jazz has a pet bunny named Molly. She had another one named Buster, but he tragically died somehow. 

Maddie has a barn owl; I haven’t named him yet.

Jack actually has a few. He has a pig, a sheep, and a Highland Pony. The Fenton’s backyard is MUCH bigger than it was in the show, so he has the room.

Noa doesn’t have one yet, but she does have a service dog named Buffy. He’s the shared family dog who kinda lazes around the house doing nothing until he needs to “go to work”; aka put on the vest for Noa.

The Fentons have an AI companion who lives in their house and is connected to most of their phones/devices: Apex, a semi-sentient AI. Honestly, her backstory is completely unknown to me, since she was a sporadic, spur of the moment addition literally as I was writing chapter 1. But she’s very sweet and caring for the Fenton family, and very polite, and has a little bit of sass to her. She’s a peach.

Amity Part is set in Washington state. I wanted the setting for Amity Park to be somewhere that gets a lot of fog and rain. It was either that or Oregon, but I already have somewhere set in Oregon and I don’t wanna repeat Gravity Falls either, lol.

Not only that, but instead of the 90′s, this story takes place in 2055, where the setting is much more technologically advanced. Watch as Danny’s family STILL manages to stick out like a sore thumb.

Tucker is the rich kid this time instead of Sam, and is transgender FtM. Little else has changed about him except for him being a bit more fleshed out and more supportive.

Sam went through the most revisions. Instead of the rich girl whose parents don’t understand her, she’s a foster child who circled through foster homes until she was adopted by a couple living in Amity Park when she was about 11. She’s been living with a relatively normal, nice couple for about three years now, but if you know anything about the foster care system, you know that foster care doesn’t breed trusting children. She’s still defensive, pessimistic and sarcastic, but a lot of her hypocritical, controlling behavior has been toned down by a SHIT ton. She’s infinitely more supportive of Danny and Tucker, and is extremely protective of them for “I was a foster kid and had zero friends until now” reasons.

Dash’s bullying is toned down slIGHTLY? He and Danny don’t really make good first impressions on each other at freshman orientation, and due to personal reasons for Dash, heated emotions and a giant miscommunication, Dash REALLY doesn’t have a high opinion of Danny. Not for stock bully “weak nerd” reasons, but for “wow what you did to someone else was really not okay” reasons. Dash does get a redemption arc.

As does Paulina! She’s still a little bit of a self-focused airhead and a little flighty, but she’s mostly pretty sweet to the people around her in her own well-intentioned but not-very-well-thought-out way. 

I AM ALSO PRESIDENT OF THE “VALERIE DESERVED BETTER” FAN CLUB AND YOU BEST BELIEVE I’M GONNA GIVE HER THE ARC SHE DESERVED, DAMNIT.

Oh and Vlad’s a little less campy. Get ready for a guy who does a SCARILY good job at convincing you that Masters and Plasmius are two separate people while he’s in the same fucking room as you.

There is a LOT more that I haven’t touched on here. This is just kinda the surface level stuff before Danny gets his powers... except for the Vlad shit, but come on. I had to mention that. Plus if I was gonna mention EVERY LITTLE IDEA, I was gonna be here writing this post all night. I can go into more detail on anything or anyone specific if ya’ll want! 

This isn’t even getting into the inclusion of a new character we’re adding to the main cast.

I’m super excited to talk about/write more of this. I’m editing chapter 1 as we speak!

[callmefitz]

HomeBound, a TTP Fic

PSA- I don’t know how to do the “read more” thing and this is a long fic so, apolgies in advance for this long post. Also I wrote this at midnight in my notes app with absolutely no editing so, read at your own risk.

Summary: It’s been weeks since the Crown Prince of the Heartlands, Prince Wensclaus ran away from home. During his absence, he’s taken a spunky aspiring knight under his wing to distract from the pain of his disapproving parents. Although, anyone can tell it’s more than that. He genuinely cares for the kid. As for his own family, however, they are not content to lose him. Featuring aro/ace future Wensclaus, a non-binary TTP OC I made named Law, and an older, wiser, but generally unchanged Joan.

————-

Although it’s been years since Wensclaus has been to the Hinterlands, there’s something familiar about the way the wind whips at his hair, heavy with the promise of rain. There’s something familiar about the dull, incessant roar of leaves in the breeze, and there’s something familiar about the dry crunch of dirt beneath his heels as he bites his lower lip, drawing blood as he parries and ripostes a rather impressive attack to his left side.

This place definitely had never held the warm glow of home to him, but the landscape tugged at Polaroid memories all the same.

His assailant, far more used to the northernmost elements than Wensclaus, circled at a wide radius, letting limp their wrist in exertion and dragging the point of their sword in the dirt. Their face was leveled in an annoyed glare (it was rather early). Beneath their tunic, their chest rose and fell in quick succession.

“Careful,” Wensclaus muttered, “We just had the blacksmith sharpen that.”

His adversary lept back into action, once again assuming a rather bold offensive strategy, yet left their form with much to be desired. At any moment, really, he could send them toppling on their back, but this skirmish wasn’t staged for the purpose of an expedient victory.

Although they only employed a handful of successful attacks on Wensclaus, he couldn’t help but to find himself surpised by their skill level. That, or the fact that without the rigid background of swordsman training, they were afforded the ability to combine techniques in a fluid manner without so much as a second thought. It was a skill that he himself envied.

The sparring match between the pair often drawn a crowd of onlookers, as entertainment in the Hinterlands dwindled after Barrabas returned to the Midlands. However, the mist on the plains had yet to evaporate and the cock had yet to crow, so they were alone in their back and forth dance.

Or so they thought.

Through the mist, an imposing horseback figure drew closer and closer, regarding the fight with vague curiosity. She watched the epic climax, and subsequent end, as the younger swordsperson unexpectedly threw Wensclaus off balance and tumbling to the ground.

“Do you yield,” Law said with a false air of suave.

“Ah, I’ve been bested,” Wensclaus replied in a similar play of false airs, “I yield, I yield! Spare me, lest I suffer a worser fate.”

Law laughed and held out a hand to Wensclaus and pulled him up.

“Good work with your offense,” Wensclaus praised, “Your footwork has improved greatly.”

“While yours has only grown sloppier since you’ve been gone.” The mystery spectator cut in. Her horse drew closer in the mist, and with horrifying realization Wensclaus realized it was his Aunt Joan. She dismounted and strode towards the pair.

Wensclaus gripped his sword, unsure if he wanted a fight or a reunion.

The head knight in question stood with an innate intimidating posture that made Wensclaus feel like a child again. However, that clearly wasn’t the case; Wensclaus had grown into his gangly limbs and assumed a self-assured posturer, and the constant eroding factor of time had etched wrinkles into Joan’s face and dusted Grey into her hair.

“Look, It’s the no-fun police,” Law scowled, crossing their arms, yet hiding slightly behind Wensclaus. He only sighed.

“Your fathers have been worried sick for you, Wensclaus,” Joan said softly, “they miss you terribly.”

Wensclaus kicked a stone, “Thats very inconvenient for them. I hope they feel better.”

“Wen-“

“No.” Wensclaus shouted. He wanted to continue, but he then became hyper-aware of Law, himself over seven years their senior, ducking behind the heavy mass of his cloak and gripping it slightly. He sighed. Not here.

“Can we continue this somewhere else?”

——

After a whispered argument that warmed Wensclaus’s heart but ultimately convinced him of Law’s protective yet stubborn nature, he found himself seated across the table from Joan in the only tavern in town and Law sulking outside as they waited for the adults to finish up. A daunting mug of root beer sat in front of him, which was much more interesting than the steely grey eyes of his pseudo-aunt.

“I can’t believe they sent my babysitter to come pick me up,” Wensclaus began, deciding to skip the small talk and poke the sleeping elephant with a stick. Or whatever the idiom is about.

“Wensclaus,” Joan began.

“Like, ok, they have a kingdom to run, but I’ve seen my Dad pull holidays out of his ass so we could have a vacation. They could have come themselves-“

“Your fathers did not send for me, Wensclaus.” Joan cut Wensclaus off with an impressive gulp of definetly-not-root beer. “I doubt they even know where you are. Not that they haven’t been searching, of course. As far as they’re concerned, I’m farther up North to check up on a dwarf problem your Uncle Darling is having.”

Wensclaus’s face drew up as he straightened in his booth. “Wait, then how did you-“

“It just made sense,” Joan replied, “You experienced perceived rejection and to cope you returned back to the place where you first received rejection. The little knight you found, however, was a nice touch. They’re coming along quite nicely. I’m proud.”

The explicit praise did not fly over Wensclaus’s head, “I’m that predictable, huh?”

“You’re not predictable, just human,” Joan shrugged, then at Wensclaus’s face, continued, “That’s just what Cecily has been telling me. And for the record, I’m not telling them you’re here until you’re ready to be found.”

Wensclaus leaned back in his chair and stared down at the frothy mess of his root-beer.

“They all miss-“

“It’s just hard.” Wensclaus said, without emotion. Joan remained quiet this time.

“It’s hard when, you know, everyone is talking about you, like, oh look at Prince Wensclaus! He’s like, I don’t know, in his mid-twenties, and tied down to no one,” Wensclaus laughed dryly, “His parents, they were married by age eighteen. Basically invented love and all that shit. How massive of a failure do you have to be to not love anyone when those are your role models?”

“You must be pretty fucked up.” He wiped a tear from his eye. “God it’s just... it’s so hard. I’m nothing like them and... it’s so hard.”

“You love me, don’t you?” Joan said, “And what about your Aunt Cecily?”

Wensclaus regraded Joan strangely, “Well, yeah, but not like-“

“What about your Uncles up North, Darling and Percy?” Joan continued, “Or your little knight?”

“Joan, it’s not like-“

“Your fathers?” Joan pressed, “Do you not love them?”

“I do, Joan, but that doesn’t count!” Wensclaus snapped. A few patrons across the bar glanced over. Face flushing, Wensclaus lowered his voice and relaxed his clenched fists, “That’s not the point, it-“

“You’re right,” Joan said, “The point is that you feel angry because of the high expectations inadvertently placed on your shoulders by your fathers because you’re different. But to say you love no one is so... far from the truth. Love takes many forms, and they can all be fulfilling.”

Wensclaus gave no response, instead favoring the mug in his hands than making eye contact with Joan. He was holding himself back from lashing out again.

“When I came out to my father, as both gay and a knight,” Joan began, “He tried to fix me.”

This caught Wensclaus’s attention.

“He set me up with all kinds of guys,” Joan laughed, “even a pig farmer. Enrolled me in all these classes for lady-etiquette and had me fitted for a ball gown corset. I was so angry, I ran away.”

“But you and your dad get along great,” Wensclaus said, “He’s over at your and Aunt Cecily’s cottage almost every weekend.”

“Now we get along great,” Joan corrected, “But this was all when you were very young.”

This satisfied Wensclaus’s confusion.

“I guess in the end he was afraid for me and afraid for himself,” Joan said, “Everything I was doing he had never seen done before, and that was scary. When people are scared, they do dumb things, like threaten to estrange their children.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Wensclaus asked slowly.

“When Cecily found out about what my father had threatened, she marched her little sequined self down to the pub he was hiding out in and gave him a piece of her mind,” Joan continued, “After you left, that’s exactly what I did to your fathers.”

“What?” Wensclaus finally cracked a smile, “You yelled at my dads?”

Joan shrugged, “It’s not the first time. I love them, Wensclaus, I really do, but they can be incredibly thick sometimes.”

That sobered him up, “Yeah.”

“They reacted the way they did not because they didn’t love you anymore, Wens,” Joan reaches across the table and grabbed his hand, “They reacted that way because what you were describing was something they had never seen done before, and they were scared for what that meant for you.”

“That still doesn’t make it right,” he replied.

“You’re right. It was wrong, which is exactly why Rupert has written and rewritten his formal apology to you several dozen times, so you know that in fourteen different languages that he loves you no matter what,” Joan replied, “And Amir is currently drafting legislation to nationally recognize aromanticism as a romantic identity and provide funding to revise public service announcements to include it. It was wrong of them to react the way they did, and they only thing they want in the world is to take it back.”

“Wow, I-“ Wensclaus suddenly found himself speaking through tears, “I don’t-“

“I’m not going to force you to come home before you’re ready,” Joan said steadily, “But I want you to know that when you are, there’s a place for you.”

It was embarrassing, the way that Wensclaus began sobbing in the tavern like that. The eyes of half a dozen hitherlandians landed on his shaking frame as the head knight of the heartlands held him to her chest. She ran her fingers through his hair, just like she used to when he had nightmares about the Despair. But this was so much worse, because this was not about an enemy he could defeat; rather, it was the floodgates of relief mixing with the festering hurt that had been building in him ever since he stepped foot out of the palace gates. Dimly, he was aware of the soft reassurances his aunt whispered into his ear, but in his determination to speak through his tears it all was mush.

“I want to go home,” he said hoarsely, and he felt the same relief within Joan.

—-

As the door to the tavern opened, Law jumped up from the ground and ran up to Wensclaus. However, after they took in his tear-stained face and Joan’s arm on his shoulder, they stumbled back, as if flinching in pain and disbelief.

“So you’re going back?” Law seethed, “Just like that?”

Wensclaus made brief eye contact with Joan, who released her arm from his shoulder and walked off with a nod. He returned his attention to Law and wiped his eyes.

“Yeah,” he said, “I’m going back. I can’t hide here forever.”

“But they said-“

“And they realized they were wrong,” Wensclaus finished, “I want to give them another chance before I cut them off entirely. If Joan can do it... then I guess I can too.”

His rationalization only caused his mentee to spiral further, “A-And what are you going to do, huh? Just.... leave me here?”

Wensclaus’s face drew up as an emotional knife stabbed cleanly through his heart. This scene felt all too familiar, except never from this perspective.

“No, no, of course not. No. Never. You’re going to come with me and Joan,” he said, placing his arms in Law’s shoulders in an attempt to ground them, “I mean, only if that’s what you want.”

“I won’t fit in,” Law said quietly, “It will be... weird.”

Wensclaus laughed, “I didn’t fit in either. It’s not that weird.”

In a conspiratorial tone, he added, “Plus, everyone there is weird. Just wait until you meet my Uncle Darling.”

That caused Law to smile as they held their hands on top of Wensclaus’s on their shoulders.

“Wensclaus,” Joan called out from her horse, “Little Knight.”

The pair glanced up from their conversation as Joan trotted closer.

“You coming?”

Wensclaus straightened up, leaving a hand in Law’s shoulder.

“Yeah. Let’s go home.”

[egopocalypse]

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This is one of, if not the longest piece I have posted on this site. As such, most of it will be under the cut. 

Also, some parts of it may seem… familiar. I published the original draft of this about two months ago, but have since revised and edited it for class. And as most things have recently, it turned into Domino Effect. What else did I expect.

TW: Suicide

“Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system. Stacy Danvers is not available. At the tone, please record your message. When you are finished recording, you may hang up, or press one for more op-” Click.

Chase sighs, flinging his phone onto the bed beside him. His eyes slip shut as his thumb digs into the scarred flesh on his temple, the circular motion working to loosen the muscle and tendons underneath his skin.

“Great,” he mutters. “Just great. Can she just pick up the phone and answer me for once?”

His hand stretches out, fingers curling tight around the cold glass as he raises it, damp condensation leaving a ring on the wooden nightstand. Water rolls down the sides, dripping on his jeans as he toasts the air, staring at the bland, off-white of the ceiling. “To a happy marriage,” he huffs. “And an even happier divorce.”

The whiskey burns the back of his throat. He grimaces at the taste, tipping the glass back to swallow it all in a single gulp. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and glances at the contents of the bottle gleaming in the lamplight. Only half-empty. Not bad for a bottle he picked up yesterday.

He bounces his leg. How long has it been since he called? Maybe she’s busy, or she’s eating dinner with the kids. Those are valid reasons to ignore him, right? They have to be. He twists around and grabs his phone, the bright light burning his eyes as he checks the time. 7:36 PM. And the call was made… not even five minutes ago. Great.

He pours another drink. It’s going to be a long night waiting for her to call back- that is, if she decides to call him back. At this point, he doesn’t know whether or not he can even expect a call. She might’ve just seen his number and ignored it. He wouldn’t put it past her.

What would they even talk about? Would she finally apologize for the shit she put him through? Would she let him see the kids?

He snorts. Yeah, right, like that’s going to happen. Ever since she dropped off the signed divorce papers two months ago, he hasn’t seen Sam and Emma except for a few hours every other weekend. If the court hadn’t ordered Stacy to give him partial custody, he wouldn’t even have that. She didn’t want anything to do with him. Changing her last name so soon was proof of that.

He can’t remember filling the glass the next time, or the time after that, or the time after that, but by the time he puts the glass down for the last time, it’s 4:30 A.M. The bottle’s empty, shattered pieces scattered across the carpeted floor. He doesn’t remember throwing it, but there’s a dent in wall that wasn’t there a few hours ago. The largest shard spins in his hand, the light reflecting off the sides as he stares at the foot of his bed, elbows on knees and a bored frown on his face.

She still hasn’t responded.

It shouldn’t bother him. It’s not like she hasn’t blown him off before. But something about this is different. Maybe it’s just the alcohol, but something gnaws at him- a monster lurking out of sight, ready to pounce on him and rip him open for the world to see.

A sudden thud catches him off guard, the glass slipping through his fingers as he loses his grip, hitting the floor with a tiny thump. He freezes, his heart pounding furiously as a slow, disordered realization crosses his face.

There’s someone else in the house.

Chase clambers to his feet, clammy hands clutching at the covers as he staggers forward, stumbling through the glass maze. The hall beckons to him, spinning out of proportion and the door dancing out of view, but he trudges forward, stubby nails dragging along the wall as he leans against it.

“Hello?” His voice slurs, dragging the word from his tongue. “Anyone there?”

Silence.

He groans. Of course, no one was going to answer. Anyone in their right mind would be asleep, just like he should be if he has any hope of waking up without a hangover.

“Oh, who am I kidding?” he grumbles, holding the wall for support as he turns back to his room. “Tomorrow’s already gonna suck.”

Crunch.

He pauses, his eyebrows scrunched together as he turns back towards the kitchen. “What the hell?”

There’s that feeling again- that insatiable need itching at the back of his skull. He needs to know if someone’s there. He needs to know that his mind isn’t playing tricks on him.

A hand clamps his shoulder and shoves him against the wall, cold metal pressed against his throat. His head hits the edge of a frame, a searing pain flaring behind dull blue eyes and he blinks, his blurry vision refusing to clear.

“Wh-Who are you?”

“Forgotten me already, Chase?” The figure clicks his tongue and he’s paralyzed, frozen from head to toe. “We’ll just have to fix that, won’t we?”

“N-no, wait-” Fuck, why can’t he think? The knife’s cold steel seeps through his skin and he shivers, goosebumps prickling on his skin. “I-I just- I thought our meeting was next week?”

“Is that so?” Oh god, he can just imagine the smirk lurking in that damn voice. “Tell me, Chase, what else have you forgotten?”

He blinks again, the haze finally clearing from his eyes, and the figure’s exposed in full glory- pearlescent white teeth bared in a sharp grin, short brown hair combed back into a quiff, and beady black eyes staring deep into his soul.

A perfect copy of his own image, except for the eyes and a bloody gash ripped across his throat.

It sickens him to look at it, but he just can’t stop. He’s mesmerized, falling in line with cheap words and empty promises. The memories are faded, dim and just out of view. Something about the kids? Maybe?

“I…” He wets his lips, running his tongue over chapped and split skin. “I don’t know.”

Anti scowls, his eyes boring into Chase’s soul. “Have you forgotten? Or are you just too afraid to remember?” He reaches up and presses a thumb over his scar, digging it into his temple as Chase winces, pain shooting through his skull. “Maybe this will help.”

Anti murmurs something he can’t understand as the memories shove back into place. He staggers, grabbing at the demon to hold himself upright. “I remember!” he gasps. “I remember.”

Anti’s smile stretches, growing into a ghastly grin. “Go on.”

He swallows. “I remember the red seeping into my skin, the sirens blaring in the distance, and screams- screams calling out my…”

Oh.

“My name.”

“Very good.” The knife pulls back from his throat and he retreats, tucking into himself as he distances himself from it.

“I- I killed them, didn’t I?” He accuses, glaring at the figure. “All of them. Stacy, Sam, Emma- they’re gone.”

“You did what had to be done, Chase,” Anti smirks, his hand tilting up Chase’s chin. “I’m just returning the favor.”

He snarls, balling his hands into fists. “Why are you here?”

“What do you think the cops will do when they find you, Brody?” The knife flips in his hand, Chase’s eyes following the path up and down. “Do you think they’ll let you off easy? You shot your own children. You slit your ex-wife’s throat. They’ll charge you with murder and lock you up for good- if they don’t put you right on Death Row.”

Anti catches the knife by the blade and holds the handle out to him. “Better to get it done yourself than wait for the cops to do it for you.”

Chase tries to swallow past the thick lump in his throat. “I can’t-”

“Of course you can,” Anti cocks his head to the side, black eyes glittering in the flickering light. “You’re already a murderer, Brody. Suicide isn’t that different when you think about it. The only difference is whose blood is spilled.”

Chase slumps over, arms curling into his chest as he shudders, icy goosebumps racing along his skin. “I didn’t want this,” he mutters, his voice strained and weak.

“But it’s yours all the same.” The voice grates against his ears, a mockery of his shame, yet he can’t help but fall into it. He’s a wilted corpse; all the fight and anger dissolving into pure exhaustion, and he almost collapses into the other’s waiting arms, burying his head into the crook of his neck. A hand rakes through his hair, sharp nails scraping against his tingling scalp, and he barely resists the urge to sigh, leaning in closer despite his agitation.

He doesn’t want this. He doesn’t want to see himself like this. He doesn’t want his family to see him like this.

But what’s the point of living if they’re dead? Killed by his own hand, no less.

He’s missed this. He’s missed the touch of another person that he’s ready to cling onto the first thing- figment, demon, hallucination, whatever it is- that gives him even the slightest bit of attention, and he hates it. He can’t stand it.

And yet, he can’t get himself to let go.

“There we go,” Anti croons, caressing his hand through Chase’s hair. He melts into the touch as Anti chuckles, the low rumble of his chest a contrast to Chase’s racing heart. “A single slice and you won’t have to worry anymore.”

“What about you?” He asks, the words muffled by the other’s shoulder.

“Me?” Anti pulls back, a wicked grin splitting his face. “I’ll be right there with you, Chaser. When you go, I will too.” He stifles a laugh. “Hah- In a way, I’ll be the only thing you take with you.”

Chase glances to the side and reaches for the knife, gripping the handle in his clammy palm. “Will it hurt?”

There’s a scoff. “It’s a slit throat, Brody, not a papercut. Of course, it’s going to hurt.”

Chase swallows, staring at the blade in his hand. It wasn’t anything special, just a kitchen knife Anti had probably pilfered from a drawer, yet he can’t suppress the chill that raises the hair on the nape of his neck. One slice and it’d be over. Forever.

Sunlight filters in through the window and he squints, peeking at the colors poking from behind the trees. It’s a thing of beauty, and he appreciates the scenery for his death.

The steel drags across his throat, tearing through flesh and veins. Crimson blood flows from the jagged cut, spilling down his neck and staining his shirt collar a dull red.

The corpse falls forward, a small puddle spreading on the floor, and from his pocket, his phone buzzes. Anti takes it as his form shudders, stripping away his guise. The blood on his neck disappears. Black eyes turn silver. The brown hair becomes dark green, just long enough to tie back. Marvin slips several rings on his fingers and paints a smile on his lips as he looks at the caller ID. A picture of a blond woman with a bright smile lights up the screen, with a name flashing across the top.

Stacy Brody.

“Hey Stacy, Chase can’t pick up the phone right now. He’s a little… preoccupied at the moment. But don’t worry, I’ll make sure he calls you right back when he gets the chance…”

@ill-spink @abouttobesilenced @kisstheashes @lostinegomayhem @sylver-striings @here-be-becquerel @assbutt-of-the-readers @dakotathewhale @acuaticamber06 @spicy-spedicey @superbanananinja234 @imallwaysconfused @cest-mellow @starlightxnightmare @help-trashbin @epicfangirl01 @clownoutofdarkness @mihaela-tbg @iris-the-asparagus @cutewarmachine @sqxxddygremlin @nextstep17 @bunchofdoodlesinspace @dreamsoffallingstars @redangel201 @abyssshifter @eridangan @jaysflight @skyewardlight @wildhorsewolf @metautske @allons-ychey @stuck-in-a-l-o-o-p @kyerrio @unadventurousjulie @lunatrixyl @oliveroxenfree3 @kairomancerr @kitnkas @gray-avidan @dorito-with-no-weakness @lildevyl @glixbitch @spontaneoustornadoes @littleluversblog @hexatrash @paperhatcollection @bookwormscififan @novelistgeek @worm-does-shit @taikeero-lecoredier @mad-men-inc @seannbean

[sometimesrosy]

Anonymous said:I love how you went from "Bellarke is boinking this season" to "Bellarke doesn't have to boink" We love self awareness. We love development. At least you now know they will never get any of it and they will stay friends BUT of course egoistic freaks like you who don't want to accept that they are wrong will say they are endgame. It's sad man!

+++

Did I say they were boinking this season? Did I say they don’t have to boink? I’m not sure I remember saying either. What I have said is that Bellarke is canon and is a SPECTACULAR love story. That they are in love. And yes, they are endgame in whichever way JR ends up writing them. 

I have also said that I don’t agree with fandom’s definition of a canon romance, which limits a love story to kissing/confessing/boinking, which are NOT what a love story is about. Because otherwise, Pride and Prejudice wouldn’t be a love story, instead of being like the preeminent love story of western literature. I personally think this story is more about a marriage of true love soulmates than it is about boinking or hooking up. I’m sure we’ll get kissing confessing and a love scene. I think that Bellarke will get a happy *for the 100* ending, which might not be all that happy, but will be them getting to live life on their terms. Which. Is happy. They need each other. They are endgame. Regardless of shallow story elements like kiss/confess/sex. Those are SCENE, not story. Scenes combine to tell the story. They are telling the story and holding off on kiss/confess/sex... or teasing at them, with cheek kisses, mouth to mouth, near confessions, everyone sees it, 2199 calls, and camera shots that LOOK like they’re doing it when taken out of context, even though they are not.

 Did I say boinking might happen in previous seasons? Yes. And then when things happened that didn’t go there, I reevaluated my theories. I went back and looked at the narrative, I paid attention to how it worked out and I adjusted what I thought was the story being told. I decided it is less like our more usual romance stories and instead an epic love story of the Pride and Prejudice or Penelope and Odysseus variety. Boinking is not the point of those stories either. The story that we’ve been getting lately, especially since season 4, confirms those theories. The farther we’ve gone, the more this story is going down the path that I thought it was, but yeah, the deeper path, the long game story. I miss details sometimes, I get them wrong. Sorry. I am, indeed, not perfect, and I am not a magic 8 ball who can tell the future and read people’s minds across a continent. BUT, I think I’ve figured out a lot of the deeper story that JR is telling. Not always the plot, the details, or the scenes. That’s okay. I like to watch those things and be surprised.

That’s all I’m doing, nonny, trying to understand the story on the screen. Not just where I think it will go, but also what story JR is actually telling. I mean, it changes, because I’m watching as it airs, so the end has never been written as I analyze the various seasons. So not only am I guessing what the ending could be, I’m guessing how JR and the writers are going to want to go. It’s not like a novel, in which the ending is already written and the earlier chapters have been edited and revised to make sure it all fits that end. Although, I must say that each season HAS been written like a novel, and the endings are already in the first episode, so that HAS been THOROUGHLY edited and shaped by the whole cast and crew to fit the end. You’ll find that while my hiatus speculation can get wild (and I’m not going to stop that because I enjoy it) my spec during the season slows down in the beginning and then picks up as I get more canon to make sense of the story and where it might go. Because once a season starts, there is an individual story being told and there’s something to analyze, not just speculate on.

But you DO know don’t you, that speculating how a story is going to go, and not getting it right is not actually a sin. It is not WRONG of me to get certain aspects of speculation wrong because speculation is something called “guessing.” I might be making an educated guess, based on the narrative and tropes but it’s still a guess.  What’s WRONG is treating other people badly, harassing them, calling them names, sending nasty anons. WRONG is not having a theory and not having it pan out. That’s just incorrect, maybe only partially incorrect, more information to adjust your theories and, you know, part of what makes watching a story fun, because you DON’T know what’s going to happen. IF i end up being wrong about Bellarke being endgame, which I don’t think I will be, I will NOT apologize for shipping them or thinking they are endgame. Because there is no crime in that. There is no wrong behavior in believing they will get together and following that story on screen. I know it is a correct story because there is evidence from the text, whether or not I get the ending right. I have been RIGHT far more than I’ve been wrong, but you’ll never notice. And when I am proved RIGHT about Bellarke endgame, I’m pretty sure you won’t apologize to me about sending this nasty anon, because I don’t think you have the strength of character to admit when you are an asshole.

I think understanding myself, what I can do, and the limits of my abilities is called self awareness. Speculating on whether or not a ship will boink, is not actually egoistic. Paying attention to the story on screen is not egoistic, either. I’m trying to tell you what I think the larger story of The 100 is, and how the seasons/episodes/scenes fit into that. This isn’t about me. It’s about a story that I’m NOT telling, someone else’s story. It isn’t even about what I want. When what I want doesn’t coincide with what the story is, I adjust. I reconsider. I accept. Like the time jump. I. Did. Not. Want. But I recognized that there was some good to be had. And I like the story they went with. That’s not egoistic. Egoistic would be to say that the time jump was bad, JR was a bad writer, and he was doing it just to punish me and my fellow shippers and he would never get Bellarke together because he’s an evil mastermind who’s sole goal in life is to screw bellarkers over. 

You can see the egoism in that, right? That you want a story that he’s not telling, so therefore it’s all about what you want, how you feel, and how he’s personally ruined your life by telling his own story that goes in a different direction? How DARE he tell his own story and not consider YOU.

Let the man tell his story. 

I think you call me egoistic because I believe in my skills that I’ve worked for DECADES to build. I think you call me egoistic because when people tell me I’m wrong, I evaluate the statement and my actions and decide for myself if I’m wrong or not and then I back up my position with evidence to show that I’m right OR I say, oh wow that’s a great theory, and then without apologizing for being wrong (because being wrong on a theory is not something to apologize for, it’s something to ADJUST when you get a better theory) I shift on over into the better theory and start going off on that. 

You want me to SHAME myself for not predicting the future of a tv show. You want me to subsume my own thoughts within the groupthink of fandom which is predicated on the entitlement of thinking that JR OWES you the story that you’ve collectively decided is the correct story. And it doesn’t matter that you think you own the ships and characters and shows and CREATORS, which is TRULY egoistic, dear center-around-which-the-universe-revolves-nonny, but YOU’RE WRONG. 

Not about the outcome of the story (although you’re wrong about that too) but about thinking that you OWN JR, you OWN me and my thoughts and interpretations, you OWN Bellarke, or CL, or B/E whichever ship is the one you think should turn out how you want, or you OWN fandom. You don’t own any of us. We get our own stories, our own theories, our own posts, our own opinions. Just like you get yours. 

The entitlement of thinking you have a right to shame and silence someone else for not fucking thinking what you think about a goddamn ship on a goddamn fictional tv show which is supposed to be for goddamn fun means that you,

in a word,

SUCK.

buzz off anon. 

[smilesthroughfandoms]

Every Single Star vs. the Forces of Evil episode in one sentence or less

I’ll probably post a more in depth-review later this week, as I have opinions literally no one wants to hear but I will proclaim anyway, and then I’ll probably also due a revision of my ‘Past Queens Connection to Star’ post from way back in season 2. Cause that needs an update.

Anyway, enjoy!

Star Comes to Earth: Princess Cinnamon Roll that Could Kill you comes to earth and meets Misunderstood Safe Kid.

Party With a Pony: Spoopy Wardens hunt for the glitter pony while Star gets ice for Marco’s sweaty back.

Matchmaker: In which we learn it was probably a bad idea to give Star the wand in the first place.

School Spirit: Star misunderstands football and Marco tries to get Ferguson to blow his whistle not in that way.

Monster Arm: “Not my bowels! I love my bowels!”

The Other Exchange Student: Star is jealous of the meatball man from Bakersfieldville.

Cheer Up Star: “It’s supposed to be ironic!”

Quest Buy: Very accurate depiction of what it is like to work in retail.

Diaz Family Vacation: Both Marco and Star see new sides of their dads but that’s not necessarily a good thing

Brittney’s Party: Star and Marco party on a bus that Ludo hijacks

Mewberty: Star gets horny and snares boys in her web but not in that way

Pixtopia: Marco messed up and Alfonso marries Ferguson’s rebound

Lobster Claws: “… You can’t eat children.” “Really? Not even the annoying ones?”

Sleep Spell: “Camera Phooone!”

Blood Moon Ball: We’re suppose to ship them now, right?

Fortune Cookies: Love is never the answer kids

Freeze Day: Father Time offers Star and Marco some mud before riding away on his wheel-mobile pulled by giant time-hamsters I am not making this up.

Royal Pain: King Santa Claus destroy mini-golf

St. Olga’s Reform School for Wayward Princesses: Princess Prison sure is a nightma–OH MY GOD ARE THOSE CLUBS?!

Mewnipendence Day: No wonder monsters hate Mewmans so much.

The Banagic Wand: Star still doesn’t get Earth and like all of us, Marco is always hungry.

Interdemensional Field Trip: Miss Skullnick fears the “Big Change” while Marco sends Jackie cat memes

Marco Grows a Beard: Ludo is out, Toffee is in, and Marco will probbaly be terrified of beards forever

Storm the Castle: “SURPRISE!”

My New Wand!: DIP DOOOWN

Ludo in the Wild: Wait, since when did Ludo become badass?

Mr. Candle Cares: “Star and I have recently become smooch buddies… On the lips.”

Red Belt: Marco searches for a meaning in life and Star searches for hammer.

Star on Wheels: *epic remix of Marco saying Star is in trouble*

Fetch: Marco can’t open juice and Star runs away from her problems and sending thank you cards

Star vs. Echo Creek: Star gets high and destroys a police car

Wand to Wand: Both Ludo and Star are terrible at magic also major ship tease

Starstruck: Star and her idol Sailor Super Saiyan destroy a park and Marco is 100002% done with this shit

Camping Trip: King Butterfly has a mid-life crisis and tries to control an eagle

Starsitting: They’re gonna be great parents some day.

On the Job: Buff Dad is best dad and buff babies are adorable

Goblin Dogs: “You might think this line is long, but listen to my goblin song!~”

By the Book: Ludo and Star still suck at magic and Glossaryck is a bigger troll than Alex Hirsch

Game of Flags: And I thought my family was dysfunctional...

Girls’ Day Out: Janna is back and is still awesome btw

Sleepover: “TRUTH! STAR HAS A CRUSH ON MA–” *cue fandom freakout*

Gift of the Card: R.I.P.  Rasticore Chaosus Disastorvayne… He couldn’ get his fucking chainsaw to work

Friendenemies: Star becomes one with Christmas tree while Tom and Marco go on a date and sing a romantic pop ballad.

Is Mystery: Meatfork is apparently a family name and Ludo is really starting to freak me out tbh

Hungry Larry: “He’s still hungry…”

Spider with a Top Hat: He tries and he is awesome and that’s all that matters

Into the Wand: SPAAAAADESS!!!

Pizza Thing: Marco is OCD about mushroom and Pony Head buys skinny jeans

Page Turner: Moon, how did you miss Toffee in the orb he was right there!

Naysaya: Marco is a mood in this episode

Bon Bon the Birthday Clown: Honestly my favorite episode overall

Raid the Cave: Glossaryck is the true neutral asshole.

Trickstar: Weird Al is a treasure and I’ll mes up anyone who makes Marco cry!

Baby: Aw, look at the little deadly baby, I love her!

Running With Scissors: Marco gets a new edition to his shipping harem and she is so cute!

Mathmagic: Why did the chicken cross the road?

The Bounce Lounge: Marco is definitely the mom friend.

Crystal Clear: The Chancellor guy is amazing and Rhombulus just needs a hug and wAS THAT ECLIPSA IN THE BACKGROUND?

The Hard Way: “SURPRISE!” 2.0

Heinous: Oh, so that’s how Marco got all that money.

All Belts Are Off: This is the negative side of “Pro-tag teen hangs out with older adult figure” trope done splendidly

Collateral Damage: Marco how do you not know what a possum is?

Just Friends: I’m fine! *blows up sign to prove just how fine I am*

Face the Music: This song is actually a banger

Star Crushed: Looking back, I’m starting to think the writing peaked at this episode....

BATTLE FOR MEWNI EDITION!!!!!

Return to Mewni: This is… just an exposition filler. Not much else to say….

Moon the Undaunted: B4! B4! B4 B4 B4 B4 B4 B4 B4 B4 B4 B4!

Book Be Gone: Seriously, did Glossy take trolling lessons from Alex Hirsch this is hilarious!

Marco and the King: This is the  “Pro-tag teen hangs out with older adult figure” done slightly better

Puddle Defender: Aw, look at the little buff babies, they’re getting so big!

King Ludo: The mime stole the show.

Toffee: Yeah, I think the writing peaked somewhere around here...

Scent of Hoodie: Huh, so Ponyhead can be written as likeable, who would’ve thought?

Rest in Pudding: The colors are not doing the censors any favor here, huh?

Club Snubbed: I literally yelled “Phrasing!” whenever they dropped the title

Stranger Danger: Is she the new antagonist of the series? I can’t tell

Demoncism: Tom is a wonderful baby boy and Ponyhead is written as likeable, part 2!

Sophmore Slump: *sobbing* Jackie deserved better, dang it!

Lint Catcher: I’m starting to wonder if there is any competant authority figure in Mewni

Trial by Squire: I think the writers were all like” You think these guys will ship anyone with Marco?” and decided to test that theory.

Princess Turdina: I got more lore out of this episode than I thought I would.

Starfari: Welp, she makes me uncomfortable.

Sweet Dreams: *Sailor Moon-ing intensifies*

Lava Lake Beack: Proof that this fandom will ship anyone with Marco at the slightest inclanation

Death Peck: Rich Pigeon is my new favorite birb and Ponyhead is written as likeable for the third time

Ponymonium: Well, it was nice while it lasted.

Night Life: The writers made so many new ships they had to get rid of an old one!

Deep Dive: “Chicken butt”

Monster Bash: Well, that explains the cheekmarks.

Stump Day: I think they just made an episode based around a picture from that bookcover.

Holiday Special: *insert every cheesy Christmas/Holiday episode trope here*

The Bog Beast of Boggabah: The title is fun to say and the episode is average at best.

Total Eclipsa the Moon: Seriously, I’m supposed to think she’s an ultimate villain.

Butterfly Trap: In which we are all Sean, don’t lie we were all him at the end

Ludo, Where Art Thou?: Dennis is best brother, hands down.

Is Another Mystery: *sniff* I got more emotional over this episode than anyone else did and I’m not sure how I feel about that

Marco Jr.: I… I just… Why? What’s the point?

Skooled!: Epic advertisment fakeout combined with wonderful character development and lore with a shock ending makes a 8/10 episode.

Booth Buddies: Old Man McGucket ships Starco, proceed to react accordingly

Bam Ui Pati!: Ponyhead is kinda likeable in this episod–nevermind she’s back.

Tough Love: Oh man, it’s happening! It’s happening guys here we go!

Divide: We are going to war everybody–And they’re all dead. That was quick.

Conquer: They should have paid Alex HIrsch to voice Glossaryck at this point, it’d be more in character for him.

Butterfly Follies: Proof that someone will always complain about politics no matter what.

Escape from the Pie Folk: Is anyone else disturbed by the fact that he kinda resembles Eclipsa more than Festivia?

Moon Remembers: I was expecting a freakout but was pleasantly surprised

Swim Suit: I’m starting to get a bad feeling about Rhombulus

Ransomgram: Why is everyone in this dimesnion hot?!

Lake House Fever: She’s a good mom

Yada Yada Berries: They missed an opportunity to have a Seinfeld actor guest-star, just saying

Down by the River: I’m glad that she can relax

The Ponyhead Show!: And Ponyhead is offically no longer likeable, can someone toss her into an abyss please?

Surviving the Spiderbites: SpiderSlime is canon proceed to react accordingly

Out of Buisness: How did this place go out of buisness???

Kelly's World: Man, they’re really setting these non-Starco ships up to fail, huh?

Curse of the Blood Moon: Pfft, yeah, sure, Starco won’t be canon at all!

Princess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic Bell: I think Ludo has the most consistent character arc out of the entire show’s history.

Ghost of Butterfly Castle: Moon, Star is your daughter and Star supports Eclipsa, why would you not tell her?

Cornball: This episode has a heartwarming lesson that I hope more people come to realize

Meteora's Lesson: I’ll take any Toffee scenes I can get

The Knight Shift: I honestly don’t remember what happened n this episode

Queen-Napped: Seriously, can someone please dropkick Ponyhead into an abyss?

Junkin' Janna: The JanTom interaction I’ve been waiting for

A Spell with No Name: These types of episodes stopped being charming awhile ago

A Boy and His DC-700XE: I think Tomco has more ground to stand-on then Starco at this point

The Monster and The Queen: Don Panchito voices Globgor! There’s hope for this show yet!

Cornonation: They’re the best couple/parents/anything around!

Doop-Doop: I honestly think Rick just put Morty through some flux-capacitor or something

Britta's Tacos: Hey, remember these people that we suddenly brought back? No? Me neither!

Beach Day: This feels like a Season 1 episode and it’s nice

Gone Baby Gone: I want a TV show aout them now! Disney, please!

Sad Teen Hotline: Mr. Diaz is way to invested in Star’s love life.

Jannanigans: Hello last minute Janna character development!

Mama Star: So that’s how Mewni came to be--and I don’t care anymore

Ready, Aim, Fire!: Let’s get that finale ball rolling people!

The Right Way: Ok, that spell is actually pretty badass.

Here to Help: There, Starco’s finally canon will you guys just shut up now!

Pizza Party: Moon you idiot you ruined everything!

The Tavern at the End of the Multiverse: Toffee was right all along... I think we all knew that in some way

Cleaved: I expect nothing substanial and that’s what I got

[jay-bizzleimagines]

Same Mistakes // Chapter Twenty One [EDITED]

I sat silently in a small office waiting for Justin to arrive with Scooter. Somehow I got roped into meeting with Scooter as soon as possible to 'get it out of the way and start damage control'. According to Justin those were Scooter's words and not his, which I'm sure was true to a degree.

The office building the meeting was in was huge and in the middle of downtown New York. Go figure. Looking at the clock in the corner, I impatiently tapped my foot. I had to work in an hour and a half and they were already late. On the other side of the door, I heard Justin speaking.

"Yeah, but you gotta hurry up. You know I gotta go to the premiere tonight. Aight, Bye." The door behind me slowly opened to reveal Justin, but no Scooter, "Hey."

"Where's Scooter?" He sat next to me, slouching in the chair.

"He's here somewhere. He was waiting for me to get here." As if on cue Scooter entered the room with another older looking man. Scooter had barely changed since I had last seen him, still small and hardly intimidating. But the man with him was everything he wasn't, including intimidating and I immediately assumed he was Scooter's boss by the way Scooter stood behind him as he sat at the desk in front of us.

The older man nodded towards Justin, "Justin."

Justin returned the nod and the man directed his attention to me, "You must be Nadia, I'm Craig. I'm just here to have you sign a couple of papers. Where's your lawyer?"

I looked from Craig to Justin, confused. As far as I knew I was just here to talk to Scooter, but now I apparently need to sign papers in front of a lawyer, "Lawyer?"

Justin leaned forward, "That's my fault, I didn't mention anything to her about her lawyer needing to be here." The look on Justin's face told me to go along with it so I did.

Craig nodded, "Okay, then I will email them to Justin and he can have Scooter forward them to your lawyer. I will just go over the highlights then?"

I agreed and reached from my copy of the contract. The highlights were ridiculous.

The child in question will be subject to a DNA test and only when it comes back positive will Justin be subject to give any child support.

If child support is required, it will be monitored by Justin's legal team to insure that it is being used on the child in question's needs.

When the child is of age it will not attend public school and will be home schooled at a location agreed upon by the legal teams of both Justin and the mother.

No pictures will be posted of the child unless approved by Justin's management.

The mother is not to make any public appearance without notifying management first.

The list continued down the page, but instead of continuing I shook my head and looked up at Scooter, "These are just the highlights?"

Scooter opened his mouth to answer, but before he could Craig did, "This a serious situation and will be handled as such. We have to go over all of those points and so much more which is why you need to have your lawyer here."

I rolled my eyes and looked from Craig back to Scooter, "He's my son and has been for the past year and a half. I could very well go on with my life and give Justin or any of you no say at all and mine and my son's life would be perfectly fine. This is about Justin having a relationship with his child and if it's going to be this hard for that to happen than you can forget it."

Next to be Justin shifted, "Nadia-"

"No, fuck this. I'm not signing anything and I'm not having any lawyer read your bullshit contract. Grow some balls Justin and realize that this is your life. Either take charge of it or don't see your kid. The choice is up to you."

Justin looked at me with desperate eyes, "Nadia, please just slow down. You're right the choice is up to me and I want to see my son, but in order to be able to do so we have to go through all the legal stuff. This isn't the finalized contract, that's why you need a lawyer to go over it with for revision. Please can we just talk about things?"

I sighed and looked down, "Sorry, you're right."

Next to me he mouthed 'thank you' and in front of me Craig adjusted in his seat, "Now that that's settled we need to talk about Justin going back to Calabasas next week. What's going to happen with that?"

"What?"

Justin answered before the other two did which I was thankful for, he was easier to talk to, "You knew we were just visiting New York which the girls were doing business."

"No I know," Of course I did, "but I live here and I never planned on moving back to Calabasas. I actually was thinking about moving back to Ohio." And I was in the back of my head, the past few weeks were really overwhelming and I missed my mom. This was not to mention that my parents haven't seen much of Jayce.

"Wait, what?" Justin looked at me confused and before he could say anything a phone started to ring. Behind the desk Craig's phone rang causing him to hold up a finger and leave the room. His departure allowed Scooter to sit at the desk and finally speak to me.

"Nadia, I'm on your guys' side here. I hate management right now and I'm trying to get things back to normal, but with that being said we gotta figure some stuff out before Justin goes back to Calabasas. And Justin you gotta figure out what's going on with Hailey."

Justin's eyes widened, "Scooter, can we talk about that later?"

"Have you told Nadia?" Justin stayed silent and I said confused while Scooter shook his head and let out a sarcastic laugh, "You need to get your shit together, buddy. I can't help you if you're gonna help yourself. I'm gonna go tell Craig that we set this meeting up for a different time, if that's okay with you, Nadia?"

I nodded and Scooter quickly left, leaving me in silence with Justin, "You gonna tell me what he was talking about?"

"I'd rather not." His voice was low and showed no emotion. I, on the other hand, scoffed and rolled my eyes, "Listen to Scooter and get your shit together, Justin."

Justin ran a hand through his hair, having an internal debate on whether he should confess whatever secret he was keeping, "Nadia, I will tell you I just can't right now. Just give me time, please."

"What the fuck ever, Justin."

-------

Okay, so I know that a good amount of people read the original version of this chapter, but I hope that does not discourage you from reading this. As I mentioned in the Some Explaining note, I am going to be changing this story around a bit so again try to bare with me. If you are not liking the story or hate me, that is your right but please keep in mind that it is my story. All the love 💜

[cynicalharmonia]

Final - Is This Sound Art?

My final is called “Is this sound art?”

It is a collage that combines many concepts that we learned of in class. From John Cage’s take on sound, noise, and silence to the late 20th century masters of sampling all the way to the modern day vaporwave and glitch art scene.

I was influenced by dirt style, vaporwave, plunderphonics, Ryoji Ikeda, glitch music and art, acousmatics, Christian Marclay, James Tenney, Hugo ball, Amacher, and the internet as a whole. The visual (skit) format was influenced by Forcefield and early Fluxus performances.

My Piece very much has a lot to do with comedy and internet/digital culture. I wanted to make something that peeked back at my life so far and all the things I enjoyed growing up with (and still do today). The video is done in skits, sort of like a “Robot Chicken” of sound art. It is called “Is This Sound Art?” because I have a sense of humor and mainly because that is a very thing I questioned myself with while making this piece. It starts with me receiving a VHS that contains a collection of my past, told through various things I’ve enjoyed throughout my life, like video games, music, internet memes, anime, tv, and movies. It begins and ends with the tape, and the video in which I am watching begins and ends with heavy distortion. I very much enjoyed working with both Premier Pro and Adobe Audition to create this project; I learned many new skills and hope to improve my editing prowess in the future. 

When creating the sound pieces, I later introduced gifs and stills that complimented what was going on, later I incorporated clips from movies and eventually one thing led to another and I was simultaneously making sound art and videos that were edited around the sounds. Through responding to one thing the other came along shortly. Most (if not all) the videos used are replaceable with other clips or stills if edited properly. The sounds created gave me a vision of the visual aspects that would better portray the very impact of what I intended the sounds to have in the first place.

I will post images of my project panel to help show the actual process involved in creating this piece. 

Process:

One of the thing I didn’t get to go over in detail in class was the process and the lengths in which I went to to find fitting video clips to match my sound sample pieces. 

Note: 95% of the video clips used did not retain any of their original material in terms of sound or were edited/transposed with other sounds!!! 

(a perfect example of this is found at the 1:44-1:45 min mark in my video, in which you see an M40A3 sniper from CoD4 go off and seemingly hear the sound of a gunshot to go with it. This is in fact not at all the sound you are hearing (or a gunshot noise at all!), instead, I used a section of the recording of “Fearless” by Pink Floyd and added a reverb effect in Adobe Audition that makes it sound void and distorted to make the effect. (the same song is used at 0:58-1:01, and football chant section at 1:14 and 2:30 respectively)

Also, many video clips were edited to make it look like people/characters are speaking words in which my sound collage sample is saying, but they are just either examples of pure chance, like at the 1:17 mark, where it looks like you see The Hound from Game of Thrones singing “I’m Tickled Pink” by Jack Shaindlin. (He is actually singing....this.) Or they were intentional morphed into looking like they spoke the word, like the obvious one at the 1:20 mark.

I started my process by mingling together sounds and songs samples from various medias and in some cases spoken word. I then, completely separately, compiled a massive load of videos from various sources on the internet, and also recorded some videos myself, of myself, and from footage of video games recorded by myself. I then tried my best to fit my sound examples together to form separate “skits”, then I did the daunting task of editing the videos together in a way to make it look like it all fit together somewhat naturally!

Description (as seen on YouTube): 

This is a project that I made for my sound art class! It combines themes we learned like plunderphonics, collage, acousmatics, and sound sampling to create something that is meant to be a revision of my past. I explore things that are important to me through: Internet culture + memes, video games, anime, TV, movies, music, and more! My main inspirations were glitch art, vaporwave, dirt style, and the core essence of what it is to be a sound sampler. I always ask myself: What is sound art? And to no avail, i get myriad of answers and descriptions. I created this piece to challenge the very question of what makes something "sound art" and what makes it just some plain old memified video found on the interwebs. This took me 3 days straight to create and I hope you'll enjoy!! 

Samples: [Emboldened = Used for longest period(s)]

Sounds - From the beginning (some are used multiple times with varying degrees of effects/distortion/application)

CD Scratch sound effect (edited - later used unedited)

VHS Tape Hiss (used throughout VHS tape and distorted at beginning)

Voice Recording - “What is Sound Art?”

The Boredoms - Budokan Tape Try

dubbed.wav - (voice sample)

Footsteps recording - by me

Ambient noise of city recording - by me

Steven Connor: Photophonics - excerpt as text to speech

Lighter flick sound recording - by me

VHS Tape Insert sound

Static effect 2

Paper Rad - Welcome to my site

Hitting my TV recording - by me

Come on, what is this shit? recording - by me

Glitch effect(s) (I used about 7 of these, I will list the #’s used)

John Cage - Music of Changes

Me playing Violin in response to music of changes

VHS Static Noise

THX Sound

Glitch effect 1

Glitch effect 2

20th Century Fox Intro - Recorder Edition

Glitch effect 3

Glitch effect 4

Highly distorted pokemon noise 

Error noise - subtle

Omae wa mou shindeiru (NANI?)

Chewbacca's Roar

Saya No Uta - Song of Saya I (Video Game/Visual Novel)

Sonic Youth - Green Light (barely heard underneath Song of Saya during seq.)

Junko Ohashi - Telephone Number (first awooo)

Windows computer error noise

Warren Zevon - Werewolves of London (second awoo)

My cat (Luna) meowing - recording by me

Pixar Animation Intro (used bounce sound)

“This Isn’t Sound Art!” - Voice recording of myself

Naruto - Sadness and Sorrow

WTF Am I Doing? - Text to speech (text to sing!)

“The thief was smart” from the YouTube Video, “Professor pwnage”

The Velvet Underground - All Tomorrow's Parties

Pink Floyd - Fearless (Highly reverberated/distorted during 0:58-1:01, and the sniper scene(1:44); I also used the football chants found near the end of the song at 1:14 and 2:30)

“What I am calling poetry is often called content” - Quote from R Murray Schafer - The Soundscape reading from class, Text to speech

Big Bill Hell’s (Fuck You Baltimore! excerpt)

Cheering crowd (stock sound)

Glitch effect 5

Korg-M1-Windbells MIDI sample file

Birds chirping (stock sound)

ORA ORA ORA - from JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure (Anime)

“Because life doesn’t happen...But i’m making sound and that’s the important thing” Quote from filthy frank video.

Glitch effect 6

Helicopter.wav (stock sound) (used during Monty Python: Upper Class Twit of The Year part) - This is worth a watch :D

Leeroy Jenkins - Popular Meme from the video game: World of Warcraft

Glitch effect 7

I’m Tickled Pink - Jack Shaindlin

Vinyl Crackling sound sample

Hey! Listen! - Navi from the video game: Zelda

Asuka saying “Ehh”- From the Anime: Neon Genesis Evangelion

Cpt. Beefheart - Veteran’s Day Poppy

Radiohead - Fitter Happier

Avengers: Age of Ultron dialogue + ambience

ELO - Mr. Blue Sky

“Too many F****** People” - Recording of myself

Beeping censor effect

ARA-ARA

Who the hell are you?

Frantically writing - sound recording by me

Guided By Voices - I am a Scientist

The Grateful Dead - St. Stephen (used underlapped w/ “I am a scientist part-distorted into chime like sounds, also used at 2:01 more clearly)

Porky Means Business - Track from the video game: Earthbound

Call of Duty 4 Intro sound effect

“Aw shit, here we go again” - (GTA: SA Meme)

Nintendo Gamecube startup noise

Super Mario Bros. Theme

Dropping coins - Recording by me

Led Zeppelin - Going to California

Clannad OST - Roaring Tides II (Anime song)

Robert Johnson - Hellhound on my trail (used at 1:58-9)

Steins;Gate Opening (Anime; Used glitch sound from beginning)

Truck backing up beeping sound

Ally Kerr - The Sore Feet Song (used at beginning of the Halo 2 sequence in juxtaposition of Led Zeppelin’s “Going to California”

George Carlin - Advertising and Bullshit (”I call this piece...Advertising”)

Guided By Voices - Wonder Boy Poet (briefly behind “The Sore Foot Song”)

Door Stuck! Door Stuck!!! (Used video as media and mic chatter as audio)

Yawning - recording of me

Powerful goku vs the pursuer

To Zanarkand - Final Fantasy X

Lelouch’s Checkmate (Dub)

Galaga sound effects

TV static sound effect

Nautical Almanac - sounds from clip (further distorted/warped)

Mac death chime

Windows (PC) crashing sound

USSR Anthem played on Nokia 3310 phone

ZUNpet Test (Touhou video game music emulator)

Popotan Intro (eroge) (source of Caramelldansen meme dance)

“Help me” - Voice recording by me (reversed)

Rain ambiance stock sound

“Aw Shit” - Voice recording by me

Toto - Africa

Shion Laughing Insanely (Anime: Higurashi [a personal favorite])

The Doors - How To Touch The Earth (I AM THE LIZARD KING!)

VHS eject noise

VHS getting destroyed video

[angstmaster69]

Hey blue! I saw that you deleted your youtube AU and i was just wondering why? I hate to sound all mother-y and patronising, but are you okay? Or did you just not want to write it any more? I hope i'm not stepping out of place to saying this but I really liked the story and where it was heading so I'm sad to see that it's gone and won't be updated :( but I hope you're okay! :)

Hey I just sent the ask a second ago, about hoping you're okay and about youtuber AU being deleted, and I just wanted to know if maybe you could tell us what was supposed to happen in the plot? I know I'm not the only curious one lol, and I was just wondering :) I hope you have a good day!

i actually JUST answered why i deleted/stopped writing yt au in another ask! as for the other points, i’ll answer under the cut because this is probably going to get pretty long!

first of all, please don’t worry about me, i’m fine! i’m just going through pretty nasty writer’s block right now, but i’ll be okay! i’m trying to just write through it, even if everything turns out super shitty, but yeah. it’ll pass. and if it doesn’t, then i’ll still continue to write, it just won’t be at my usual standard of writing, so i’m sorry for that.

secondly, i’m honestly really sorry that you were enjoying the fic and i just.. took that away from you, kind of unfairly. i just wanted to be rid of it, honestly. i’ve deleted a lot of docs from my computer regarding it too, so now it’s just, like, gone, thank god. but, yeah. hopefully i can just tell you the plot now and get it over and done with, and maybe that’ll help with closure i guess?? i know it’s really not a big deal that i deleted it, but it kind of is to me. i feel like i failed in some way. anyway.

i feel like before we get into the plot some details should be revised? it was always going to be endgame taekook. that much is for sure. they’re fwb. obviously there’s the queerplatonic vmin (which i REALLY wanted to explore the dynamics of because romantic friendships are Lit™ and i lovelovelove vmin with all my heart) and i mean, jeon and jimin are like, at odds with each other for Reasons, and yeah, taehyung is one of them, but also they just kind of clash in an ugly way and it’s tense and taehyung is like, the only reason they haven’t fought properly. i mean, they were gonna have a fight in the fic in the first draft, but then i edited it out and made them sit down and talk Like Adults and work through their issues, because i’m kind like that. there’s namjin being all gross and couple-y and in love in the bg, and then there’s weird yoonseokmin vibes, and it was kind of A Mess, and taehyung Does Not Do Relationships And Fucks Around A Lot Instead and he’s like, in denial about a lot of things. they’re all youtubers. yoongi is ace, taehyung has a very weird complex with his ability to form romantically involved relationships due to both family and personal past experiences. jeongguk is in love with taehyung but it’s beginning to take its toll on him. and NOW we can start.

so like, in the chapters that i posted, taehyung has a livestream for his 10 million subscriber party. he and jeongguk end up kind of getting caught making out but also kind of don’t, then they sleep together and spend the day together and just pray it blows over. there was a bottom taehyung riding scene, then jimin and taehyung flew out to seoul from la. jimin gets mad at taehyung because he sees him bitching out at jeongguk over text and he brings up ‘taekook’ (i’m SHAMELESS) with the fan they talk to on the plane, and it pisses him off, one, because he kind of despises jeongguk, and two, because taehyung is being kinda rude and jimin’s tired and it’s not his fault he likes filming everything. so yeah, they’re in seoul and taehyung meets up with some friends, one of whom is jeongguk’s Big Ex that taehyung didn’t know about, and it freaks him out when he finds out because he gets jealous and this is where things start Going Bad. 

basically, he gets home and kind of breaks up with jimin, then medicates with drugs and sex and alcohol, then jeongguk and jimin have their aforementioned talk and help each other to help taehyung. jimin sorts his yoongi-and-hoseok thing out, and makes up with taehyung. jeongguk kind of moves in with taehyung, just to check he’s doing okay, and taehyung starts doing better. he makes videos again, even though it’s not the same, and he travels more often to see friends and family and the world, and sometimes jeongguk joins him. they have a lot of sex, sure, but they also talk to each other seriously a lot more, and taehyung tries to communicate properly. he lets himself fall in love with jeongguk, and they’re like kind of official without actually explicitly saying they are, then they’re caught kissing in public and all hell breaks loose. taehyung fucks up and says a lot of hurtful things to cover his ass, and jeongguk is just Done with waiting for taehyung to admit his feelings. so - and this is like, the Big Moment that the au builds up to - taehyung makes a video. he starts off slow and small, just talks about his life and where he’s at and the affect youtube has on it. then he starts spilling all kinds of things his viewers have been questioning for years - things about him and jimin, things about him and other youtubers he’s been rumoured to date. things about him and jeongguk. and at first jeongguk doesn’t watch it, but namjoon convinces him to, and so he sits down in front of his computer and watches the video. it’s forty minutes long. 

taehyung. spills. everything. a full exposé of himself. he talks about about his sexuality, and his internal struggle with his aromanticism and difficulty bonding. he talks about everything, from the moment he and jimin decided to enter a queerplatonic relationship, to the moment he realised he’d fallen in love with jeongguk. he talks about how he’s been sleeping with both of them this whole time, and other people, too. how he faked being friends with some other youtubers, just because that’s what everybody did. how much he genuinely loves his real friends. how jealous he felt when he met jeongguk’s ex. how guilty he felt when he broke it off with jimin. other things, too, and jeongguk has to pause it halfway through because he’s sat there, cold, in the dark, balled up on his massive desk chair, crying. there’s no way taehyung can go back from this. his viewers will love it and eat everything up, and of course, taehyung could totally monopolise on the attention and popularity, but jeongguk hears the ‘goodbye’ and the channel deactivation before he gets to the announcement of it at the end of the video. because yes, okay, taehyung could come back from this, but there is no way that taehyung would ever want to.

so taehyung leaves youtube. the others still carry on, and they’re all still successful, of course, especially jimin. he sort of takes over taehyung’s space online, even though he had no intentions to. jeongguk and taehyung talk things over. they agree it’s not time for them just yet, but they’ll wait for each other. so taehyung uses his name to get a job as a cinematographer for an up-and-coming indie studio in hollywood, and he lives comfortably and modestly with his friends by his side. he doesn’t just completely disappear online, and he still pops up in his friends’ vlogs and videos sometimes, but he’s nowhere near as active or as influential as he was before, and he loves it. it brings him peace, and space to think and feel and be, and soon enough, he’s ready to welcome jeongguk and his love into his life.

he’s happy. they’re all happy. 

i’m almost hesitant to post this, because it’s still fluid and ever-changing in my head, so please note that this is the plot as it stands, and that parts of this will probably be improved or changed in my head over time, but that i’ll probably never discuss this again unless prompted to. on that note, if anybody has any questions about this au, please feel free to ask me! as long as it’s not about if or when i’m going to reupload or update or whatever.

again, i’m fine, thank you for thinking about me, and i’m super sorry for deleting so abruptly but please try to understand where i’m coming from with this when i say that i just couldn’t do it anymore. i’m sorry, and i hope you have a good day too! thanks for checking in :)

[homeawayfromhogwarts394-blog]

On the twentieth day of Christmas, fanfiction gave to me... Snapeslittleblackbuttons! Check her out here on fanfiction.net, on Tumblr @snapeslittleblackbuttons, and read her interview below! 

Getting to Know You

HAFH: Tell us how you fell in love with Harry Potter

SLBB: It was gradual. With each book, I fell in love a little more. I’m not sure I remember a time before HP.

HAFH: Who is your favorite Character? Which is your favorite book? Why?

SLBB: Severus Snape. Truthfully, there are so many brilliant characters in the books, it’s as if all the rest of them come in a very close second. Draco, Hermione, Remus, Sirius… I suppose if I had to choose a book, it would be Half Blood Prince, followed by Prisoner of Azkaban.

HAFH: What is your favorite book (outside of HP)?

SLBB: This is one of the hardest questions anyone could ask me. There are so many I adore, I’m not sure I have a clear favorite. I love George’s Missing Joseph, J. R. Ward’s Lover Awakened, and Eco’s Unbearable Lightness of Being. I’m going to stop there. I used to work in a bookstore, and yes, I have a problem (don’t send help).

HAFH: What are your favorite holiday traditions?

SLBB:Nothing in particular.

HAFH: Do you like the holidays?

SLBB: Yes and no. There are things about the holidays that I like, and things I don’t.

HAFH: Share one of your strengths and one of your weaknesses. Doesn’t have to be writing related!

SLBB: I’m the slowest writer you know, I’m balls at spelling, and I probably edit far too much. On the other side, I’m decent with mechanics like grammar and punctuation.

HAFH: What other hobbies do you have?

SLBB: Is sitting on the beach and reading considered a hobby? I play with photography; sometimes I try to ski and ice skate.  

HAFH: Do you write anything outside of Harry Potter fanfiction?

SLBB: I’ve written poetry; I have an original work planned.

HAFH: What are you doing when you're not obsessing about Harry Potter or fanfiction?

SLBB: Usually, I’m driving my kids somewhere, most likely my daughter to ballet.

General Fanfiction

HAFH: Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

SLBB: My favorite fanfics feature Sevmione and are well-written, have little or no angst, and always have an HEA. I’ve suffered too much heartbreak in real life to want to read about it.

HAFH: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

SLBB: Second Life by Lariope. It’s a 230K post-DH Sevmione. Here’s how it ends:

“He stroked a hand over her hair, and she tipped her head back to look at him. His eyes closed as he exhaled the last of his resistance and lowered his mouth to hers. For her, for this, he would try.”

I mean, holy shite, this just begs for a sequel, don’t you think?

HAFH: If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose? Any actors you would hope play your characters?

SLBB: I have no idea. I guess it would probably be Watch Over Me since it’s my most popular fic. As for the actors, I can see Adrien Brody or Trent Reznor as Sev, but truthfully it’s hard to imagine anyone but Alan in that role.

HAFH: If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

SLBB: Only one pairing? You know, based on the the tons of encouragement and love I’ve gotten from A Promise Kept, Pansy and Harry. Just kidding! It would be Sevmione, of course. You might have been able to guess that already, though.

HAFH: Do you have a muse? What is it?! If not, where do you get your ideas?

SLBB: Well, my Muse works nights. I’ll often wake up and the next scene for my WIP has been mapped out. Or, while I’m asleep, she’ll fix wording that wasn’t flowing. I guess I have too much on my mind during waking hours!

HAFH: Do you read fanfiction? Do you read similar or different things than you write?

SLBB: I read a ton of fanfic, and I read a variety of things, both similar and very different than my own stuff.

HAFH: Share three of your favorite fic writers and what you like about them.

SLBB: ishouldbe (on ao3) / IShouldBeWritingSomethingElse (on ff): She writes the Sev that I have always been in love with.

Aurette: Well, it’s because she’s Aurette and she’s brilliant.

Lariope : Besides Second Life, she penned a shorter fic called ‘Advanced Contemporary Potion Making’. It’s one of very few that I will read that does not have an HEA. If, for some sadistic reason, I need my heart torn out, this is my go-to fic.   

HAFH: Share three of your favorite fanfictions and what you like about them.

SLBB: Three? I’m only allowed *three*? *figits* Okay, here goes...

Secrets We Keep by IShouldBe (on ao3) / IShouldBeWritingSomethingElse (on ff): I remember finishing the first chapter and thought, ‘this is exactly what I was looking for but didn’t know existed’. Issy is the entire reason I was inspired to write fanfiction. When she comments on my work, I have embarrassingly uber-fangirl moments.  

Rebuilding by @colubrina: This was the first Dramoine I ever read. Her writing seems effortless. I desperately need her to give me writing lessons, since I can struggle with overdone prose. In Rebuilding, she nails plot, character, dialogue, and description with an ease I can only dream about.

The Times He Tells Her by ausland: I love this fic because it captures Sevmione in the most realistic way I can imagine. It’s my go-to happy fic.

I know I’ve already listed three, but I feel like I have to mention @olivieblake’s Not With a Bang (Chapter 15 of Amortentia). It’s the best one-shot that has ever been written. Go read it. Right now.

HAFH: Does what you read affect what or how you write? If yes, how so?

SLBB: I think so. I’m inspired by gorgeous, lean prose, and since I’m always trying to improve, I try to emulate that style. I’m also inspired by the dedication of some of the authors out there (consider the length of their stories!) as well as how fast people can produce. It blows me away.

HAFH: How long have you been reading and writing fanfiction?

SLBB: A few years now.

Published Works

HAFH: Have you ever deleted one of your published fics? Why?

SLBB: No. I’ve thought about deleting my first fic, What Dumbledore Knew, but I never did. It needs revision and expansion. I never published it on ao3 (it’s just on ff), and I don’t plan to--until I revise it.

HAFH: Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

SLBB: This piece is from Once, Now, and Forevermore, a Sevmione reincarnation story. (note: strong language)

497 AD Southwest Britain countryside

Mud.

His horse, his shield, his mail, his food, even his bloody squire were covered in thick, brown mud. The kind that felt as though it would never, ever come off. The kind that permeated the skin under his fingernails and blanketed the crack in his arse like nothing else could. The kind—should one be coated in it as often as he had been lately—that left him wondering where the mud ended and he started.

Fuck, he felt like his entire life was covered in it.

So was this what it was like to serve the mighty Pendragon? Days upon days of squire-boy errands while he and his war horse were encrusted in filth? When he was done, he was going to get clean. Very clean. And maybe indulge in some…company. Arthur wasn't going to be the only one getting warm on those bitter nights that would be upon them soon. Not that he wasn't made of stern stuff, it was simply that he had always believed he was meant for bigger things. Things more…grand than mud. More…eternal.

Lancelot huffed a dispirited sigh. Wherever did he get those notions? His latest errand was a journey to retrieve Pendragon's young bride, the eldest daughter of Leodegrance. As someone relatively new to Arthur's service, he supposed he should be pleased he had been chosen him to fetch the girl. It was an honour to do so, and while his brain knew this, his muddy arse did not.

He was tired, that was all. He'd had to travel all the way to Logres to retrieve the sweet little morsel, dammit. And he'd much, much rather be doing something else. Anything else.

Rumor was that she was pretty, Pendragon's bride, with brown curls and brown eyes; young but intelligent, desired by many a chieftain. It was a good match for Pendragon, consolidating his power. But no matter what the girl looked like, or how much the marriage solidified his position, he knew Arthur didn't want her.

There was only one woman Arthur ever wanted to bed; he wondered what Leodegrance's daughter would think of that. He also wondered if she would be enough of a beauty to change Pendragon's mind. He doubted it.

As he urged his horse over another sodden ridge, the thought of Arthur with Morgana turned his stomach sour. Brothers and sisters should never engage in…well, that was not for him to say. Besides, Cameliard had finally come view. It was the promise of a hot bath and a hot meal, in what appeared to be less than a day's ride. It was the best news his muddy arse had had in a while.

HAFH: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

SLBB: This snippet is from Watch Over Me.

"Trying to blend in with the furnishings, Miss Granger?"

Hermione had wandered away from the kitchen at his insistence that she not help. She had been standing near a curtained window in the sitting room looking out into the garden while he put the final touches on their meal. She turned. Severus was approaching her with two glasses of champagne in hand and a grand smirk on his face.

"Perhaps a few Gryffindor red curtains around here might help you see me better, Professor."

"I'm afraid if you believe you will ever see red in this home, you are quite mistaken. Besides," he said, handing her a glass, "I never fail to notice you."

"So you've said," she replied with a smirk of her own.

"So I've said," he echoed, coming ever closer. "Let me also say that you look stunning this evening. Green is definitely your colour."

"Perhaps it is the dress that has charmed you. Not me."

"Perhaps the thing to do is remove your dress. Then we could test your theory. I say you will still be stunning with the dress on my floor." He pulled her into a breathless kiss. "However, I do enjoy seeing you wrapped in green," he murmured as he broke the kiss.

"Perhaps you would also enjoy seeing me wrapped in something else?" she whispered.

"I would…" He bent and kissed her neck. "And I have a suggestion for what that might be."

She closed her eyes. "I'm sure you do."

HAFH: Which fic has been the hardest to write?

SLBB: Technically speaking, Watch Over Me. When you write a time turner, you’re always thinking about continuity and Easter eggs. It can be exhausting. Exhausting but fun.

Emotionally speaking, however, Nightfall was the most difficult to write. There’s a scene in chapter one where Sev pulls Hermione outside and they have a short, difficult conversation on a stone bench. Let’s just say that I drew upon a real life experience to write it. And in, real life, my story didn’t turn out to be an HEA.

In general, it’s a challenge to write a Sevmione that is not a slow burn. How can you get those two together relatively quickly? What plot devices are plausible if you don’t want to write an epic? I think those are very interesting questions for Sevmione writers.

HAFH: Which fic has been the easiest to write?

SLBB: As far as my multi-chapter fics, To Dwell on Dreams was by far the easiest. I find one-shots to be easier overall: Perfume (only on ao3), A Promise Kept, and Naming Her Secrets, as examples, were all finished fairly quickly.

HAFH: What is your favorite story you have every written?

SLBB: That’s an incredibly hard question. I love all of them, for different reasons. I know what scenes within my stories are my favorites: the opening of Nightfall, Sev’s conversation with Myrddin (Merlin) in Once, Now, and Forevermore, and Sev’s argument with McGonagall in his kitchen in Watch Over Me. And I like how Perfume turned out, too.

Writing Process

HAFH: What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

SLBB: Don’t force yourself to write when you’re lacking inspiration. Don’t judge yourself by word count. (The story that Charles Dickens was paid by the word is a myth!) Before publishing, read your work in a different font, then read it out loud.

HAFH: What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

SLBB: When inspiration is absent, just slug through it. Don’t use sentence fragments. Don’t start sentence with ‘and’ or ‘but’. Don’t use passive voice. Stick to the rules. *rolls eyes*

HAFH: Describe your perfect writing conditions.

SLBB: Absolute quiet, or complete chaos. I can’t write if the radio is playing or if I can hear someone talking. Put me in soundproof room or at a rave, and I can write. I guess I’m just a person of extremes.

HAFH: Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?

SLBB: Depending on the story, I use MSWord or Scrivener for both outlines and copy text.

HAFH: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

SLBB: Most of the time, I write out of order. I start with crafting the scenes I can see, and they don’t necessarily come to me from start to finish.

HAFH: Describe the process a chapter goes through before being posted.*

SLBB: Oh, my first draft of anything is complete and utter garbage. Truly. I edit the snot out of things before sending it to my beta so she doesn’t feel the need to bang her head against a keyboard while reading it. Before posting, I’ll let it sit a day or two without looking at it, then I’ll read it out loud to see if everything flows okay. .

HAFH: How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

SLBB: I’m feeding plunnies for several multi-chapter fics, including a marauder-era fic focused on a relationship between Lily and Sirius (que the Howlers). I’m also planning a crack!fic called ‘Accio Soulmate’ where the crew purposely feeds Rita Skeeter false leads for the gossip section of the Prophet. My next one-shot will be a little Sevmione time travel PWP piece, and it will have all the smuts. And I mean ALL the smuts.

HAFH: Would you ever kill off a canon character?

SLBB: Sure--I have already. Hermione dies in the first chapter of Sickness. But there are so many flashbacks in the story that I still feel like she’s part of it.

HAFH: Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

SLBB: I’ve been both strict and liberal with canon. I wrote What Dumbledore Knew to be canon compliant. It’s the story of Sev and Lily’s relationship during the first war. My goal was for it to be a plausible explanation for what could have happened between them. I hope it accomplishes that.

I think just that fact that I write Sevmione means that I have no qualms about veering from canon! In Once, Now, and Forevermore, they’ve been reincarnated several times. Yeah. I know.

HAFH: Is there a character, book, scene, etc from canon (above all others) that inspires you?*

SLBB: There’s a scene in the DH movie when Severus has gathered the students is in the Great Hall and Harry shows up with the Order. As Sev and Minerva start to duel, not only does he refrain from attacking her (he only uses defensive spells), he takes out both the Carrows behind him right before he leaves. It’s a brilliant piece of story to add to the movie and gives us more of an insight into the complexities and motivations of Severus Snape.  

HAFH: Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to? Or one you never would want to write?

SLBB: Great question. I’d like to write a Sevmione MCL fic, and the plunnie is outlined--she’s just going to have to wait until Sickness is finished.

HAFH: Is writing your passion or a fun hobby?

SLBB: Both.

Revision

HAFH: If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?

SLBB: It would certainly be my first fic, What Dumbledore Knew. I naturally gravitate towards dialogue, and as a new writer, I’m sure I left out some descriptions that would have added depth to the story. It probably needs better scene transitions, as well.

HAFH: How do you feel about collaborations?

SLBB: I don’t think they are for me. I’m far too stubborn.

HAFH: What do you look for in a beta?

SLBB: Someone who won’t pull any punches--someone who will tell me where my story is boring, where it’s shite, where it’s good. Someone who will push me. I’m not afraid of good, constructive criticism from a beta.

My first beta contacted me on ff after reading What Dumbledore Knew and she pushed me--hard. She would send me links to writers blogs, suggest books to read, recommend fanfic...and we’d discuss what made the work great or not so great. She was fabulous. I guess I’m used to her method.

HAFH: Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you?

SLBB: Oh, I’m the beta very few people want. Trust. If you need constcrit, I’m your beta. I will happily edit the crap outta something and push you to the next level--very kindly, positively, and with a ton of encouragement, of course. But I’m going to ask you tough, tough questions. Not many writers want that.

Works in Progress

HAFH: Talk about your current wips.

SLBB: Sickness is a Dramione, where Hermione dies a few years into their marriage, leaving Draco lost and unable to cope. Astoria arrives with a plan to save his sanity. I’m also in the middle of writing the epilogue for Once, Now, and Forevermore.

HAFH: Do you accept prompts?

SLBB: I haven’t yet. I have some awesome readers that tossed me ideas when Watch Over Me was in progress, and I incorporated as many of them as I thought would work with the flow of the story, but that’s the closest I’ve come to accepting one.

HAFH: Which is your favorite site to post fic?

SLBB: I post most stories to both ff net and ao3, but I really like ao3. I find the readers there tend to be very interactive, and I adore that.

HAFH: How do you feel about smut?

SLBB: *giggles* Oh, I love well-written smut more than anything. I love to read it. I love to write it.

HAFH: How do you deal with trigger warnings in your work?*

SLBB: I let my readers know what to expect in my a/n at the beginning of the work. Since some readers don’t look at the a/n, I’ll also warn my readers in a chapter note where the trigger appears.

Feedback

HAFH: What kind of feedback do you prefer?

SLBB: Well, I think any writer prefers positive, encouraging feedback. I’m happy to receive conscrit, too, since sometimes my readers can see things that I can’t.

HAFH: Is there anything that you particularly like or don’t like to see in a review?

SLBB: I don’t appreciate personal attacks. Criticize my fic if you feel the need to, but don’t attack me.

HAFH: Talk about a review that made your day.

SLBB: I have received a couple that have made me smile. One reader said Watch Over Me will be her “go to” fic from now on. That’s quite an honor.  

Here’s another one of my favorites:

“Ok. ok. Ok. I have read a lot of fanfiction- namely a lot of Snape/Hermione. This story has to be up there with my absolute favorites. Right up there with Care of Magical Creatures! I truly hope that whenever anyone, reader or writer- is on the hunt for a Severus/Hermione that story they come across this gorgeous one and take something from it they didn't have before, like I have. It was a privilege to have read this, I consider my eyes changed and my heart uplifted. Cheers!”

HAFH: Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

SLBB: I’ve gotten a couple. It’s the nature of putting your work out there, unfortunately. The first one I got was the worst, and it was pretty shocking...swearing and threats. Just awful. I was afraid to open emails from fanfic for a while.

Basically, the reader was angry that Severus still died in my canon-compliant story. After the shock of what he said wore off, I came to the conclusion that I had gotten the reader to fall in love with my version of Severus. I moved my reader to care, to become attached--and he got upset when the character met his fate.

Many thanks to Snapeslittleblackbuttons for taking the time out to answer all of our questions! Make sure to check her out here on tumblr, and on fanfiction.net! 

[survivornavarino]

Episode #5: WE LANA DEL REY TONIGHT FAM -Rebecka

Back from exile so here's the happenings ~Immediately cried to Beckka about Tim leaving and being slaughtered in my arms. ~Messaged Trixie, well she messaged me about what happened our other tribal. ~Messaged all the favs cuz idc if Im at the bottom, im obviously bottom of fans or favs so WHATEVER. ~Talked a lot to Julia cuz we have a lot in common (Witchcraft, being 16 y/o babies, getting lit) ~Told all the favs I have no one in this game which is true. FAVS IF YOU LISTENING TAKE ME IN. PLEASE AND THANKS. ~Messaged Vi cuz at least she was with me.

Honestly what were they thinking with voting out Tee? I guess that's a challenge threat out of the way, so I won't complain.

https://youtu.be/HepZnpuimhM ________________________________________________________________ https://youtu.be/IJWWj23olkA

HAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE LANA DEL REY SO MUCH NICE TRY AMIRADOR GET READY PUT ON UR ACRYLIC NAILS AND WINGED EYELINER WE LANA DEL REY TONIGHT FAM 

So the bad news is I found out Drew has been hardcore dropping my name since the game started and I thought we were cool but it's fine snakes will be snakes. I think he's a little shook about my at bat (me having won 1/3 games I've played) cause he's hinted at how crazy that is. And that would explain why he's pulling out fake receipts and conspiracies to get me out. Whew game recognize game https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/ryans-reality-network/images/6/61/Awright_alyssa_edwards.gif/revision/latest?cb=20150724035546 The good news is Eddie is a real one, we really are Joe and Desi from HvHvH, and he spilled all the tea. And honestly we have a similar playing style so we're really about to go the distance, especially if I never get reunited with Julia or Rebecka. SO we need to slay this lip sync so we both live but on the off chance we lose, things are gonna kick into high gear. I've only seen one season of Survivor (HvHvH) but Tyler convinced me to watch Kaoh Rong and let me just say that has shed some light on things. Voting Jacob? Will always be there. Sending another fan out? No problem. Voting long-term? Now that's not a bad idea. So when I said, "What if we got Drew out?" Eddie was all ears. Obviously this is super early and under wraps BUT between the two of us we can make it happen. The key is Tyler and Jake so if we can get them we have a guaranteed majority. It all comes down to timing and the pitch. This is our best chance to clock Drew and whoever fails the vetting process will be left out. If Eddie says that whenever someone takes a shot at Drew they can't afford to miss and that has to be a blindside, then this plan has to be airtight. I wonder who could pull something like that off https://media.giphy.com/media/QmeB1Hr5fz7a0/giphy.gif

I volunteered to do the music video since I was a film major and have professional editing software. It puts a good deal of pressure on me because if we lose it looks like I really dropped the ball. However, I’m hoping that my attempts to organize us and edit the entire thing will earn me some respect and points from my tribe. It’s a bit frustrating getting ideas out of everyone. Nobody seems to want to volunteer thoughts or contribute to the brainstorming and we don’t have much time at all to get this done.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CdgOebQNYEE ________________________________________________________________ https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cdsZyoPZe5Q

First challenge on a new tribe and we lost. WHOOP DE DOO. Im going to try and find an in with the favs and hopefully stick with them. Saying how I have no allegience in this game. Also I keep forgetting that I can idol hunt so Im just casually at level 4 still I think. Ill probably look in the morning. But what were we thinking with Great Balls of Fire. That song is iconic and now that Tyler won he has chances of getting an in with people, but I want him gone Obviously no can do since I am not on his tribe anymore. Might as well dwindle down his numbers from this side then.

So we lost the lip sync. I had to apply lipstick for the first time so that was fun. Sadly one of us has to go home and my guess is it's either Heather, Trixie or Vi unless me or another favorite is getting targeted secretly. I need Heather and Trixie in the game if i'm being honest, mainly due to Trixie having rumors spread about her on the OG Admirador tribe and I wanna see if I can mess around with that. Then Heather was saying that people on the OG Admirador tribe were being fake to her, and she also told me Tyler got paranoid due to Heather not responding to Tyler's messages. So I hope Tyler makes it past merge, because I can work with paranoia. For those who don't know I'm trying a villainy thing and it's probably gonna fail miserably and I'm gonna look like a dumb fuck but I was the hero on my season and I wanted to try villainy out. I'm not good at long confessionals I apologize I feel like i'm the kid in the class presentation who speaks in a monotone voice and makes everyone fall asleep.

Me to the other tribe if/when i reach merge and we get to talk: https://desmadrechic.tumblr.com/post/171063789210/oh-god Ignore the caption that came with the video ajsjsjdkjd

So the other tribe voted out Tee and I'm a n g e r y The challenge was a music video. Still a n g e r y We won. Still a n g e r y!

So like this is bad for the fans, I feel like the faves will just band together and take the easy vote route, I need to socialise today. I need to just make strong social bonds and make sure people want to keep me around. I wanna act dumb and want them to think I am a free number for them. I like Drew and feel like he will be loyal to me, I am no 100% sure what Mitch and Autumn will do but I feel like they will keep me over Jake and Tyler if we end up going to tribal.

Well look at that I got added to a new alliance chat...! Autumn added me, Tyler, and Eddie to an alliance and we named it "Keyboard Smashers" and um I like everyone in it but I also like Drew...so I'm gonna protec him! If we lose and we're still on the same tribe I think I'd want to vote out Mitch since he hasn't made any efforts to talk to me individually. It's a shame bc I think we'd have a lot in common, but oh well! Tbh I have a feeling that we're gonna swap into 3 tribes of 5 next round...my psyche is telling me this...and I'm always right! But I hope I'm wrong because I feel like I'm in a really good position on this tribe and I'm scared to swap on a tribe with people from the other tribe because I think Heather and Vi wouldn't work with me, neither would the faves on the other side. Anyways...I'm a bad bitch.

We just did THAT and I'm happy for it. I've not gotten the chance to be as much if a social butterfly as I would like because my work situation is still adjusting, so if I can keep staying safe until merge that would be highly appreciated. HeatherAs of right now he vote is Vi. I dont agree with it since she is the only one who has been truthful to me in this game so far. But I dont see any way of saving her right now. My only choice I feel in this game is to team up with the favs and get out the fans, which I don't mind as long as that fan isn't me. Plus the fans (minus my loves Vi and Tim) all left me out of the vote. If they think I am going to crawl right back to them come another swap or merge, they have something coming. HOPEFULLY THIS VOTE ISNT ME OR ILL CRY.

So I'm just like really sad because I love vi and I never wanted to vote her out of this game but I have to and that's really sad.  I don't really have much else to say I just feel super guilty.

du du du..... another fan bites the dust and another fan gone, another fan gone another fan bites the dust

Why is it that each tribal gets messier than the last? Well maybe I should back up. We lost... again. Wow what curse have we brought to this tribe. I call bs since we were nice enough to give an upbeat song. The judges are bias smh. Anyways literally no one talked. What vote who? I dunno. It’s super silent which brings bad news. Probably gonna have to expect to be voted out tonight. Oh well. Hopefully heather doesn’t get voted out but I feel like it’ll be another fan that’s gone. The favs know each other and so they’re banding together I believe. Such sadness. I’ll just have to wait until tribal to know tho

Oh, right, this is a thing I need to do. Anyway, same boring shit as always, I'd put "Drew won an immunity challenge" as my mood message but it could be about anything, really. I think there are only like two tribal challenges I've ever lost in Athena. Bonus points because it was the music video challenge so you know my ass floated by and gave it all of ten minutes of thought, but we had a damn savant on the tribe! I love it when tribe swaps work out well for me. People were expressing all this sadness for Trixie and Vi going to their fifth tribal in a row and I'm just sitting here like listen, any goddamn time someone wants to take my seat at tribal and give me the night off, they're welcome to it. Denise Stapley is a cute look on some people, I guess. I'm just fine over here with my Cirie Fields kickback realness, I don't need tribal council, y'all can wait until FTC to give me a torch as far as I'm concerned.

What's the haps? Stress, angina, and crippling anxiety. Anyway. We won immunity which I'm real happy about because I can nOT go to tribal council. I absolutely refuse to lose and I'm really hoping I just make it to merge without attending a tribal council. For some reason I feel like I will I will either go to like the tribal before merge and leave at the first tribal I attend or I will make it to merge without losing and I will be merge boot. I really am happy because I feel like if we went to tribal council Drew would have targeted Autumn which is something I am SOOOO against. I literally sold my soul to that girl and that's who I'm riding with for the rest of the game. So because I love ha so much I kind spilled the beans to her about Drew targeting her. I feel like really bad about it though cause I do consider Drew a close friend but for some reason I'm really having a hard time trusting him. I just feel like he's only with me until he doesn't need me anymore and then he'll totally see me for the threat that I am and take me out. I feel so bad about it but I just feel like it's what I needed to do to show Autumn that I trust her and have her back. Because of that I think Autumn would've gone after Drew and I feel like I would've had to pick a side and I really just can't vote Drew out yet njvjsdfkdnsjk. I would literally feel terrible about it cause I usually don't turn on my close allies pre-merge but if he goes after Autumn then I have no other choice. As I'm typing this I'm beginning to wonder why I didn't just tell Drew that I didn't want to vote Autumn out. Maybe he would've said ok we can target somebody else. Why don't I trust him enough to say that? Hmm idk I'm just so on edge. So a 4 person alliance was created and I'm soooooo happy. MY first alliance in this game! I finally feel have something I can maybe rely on and trust for a bit. It includes Autumn, Jake, and Tyler all of which I LOVEEEEE. Like omg this is my dream alliance I'm screaming. If we stick together we at least have enough to tie it. But who knows what will happen. I'm watching you JAKE >.>

[junker-town]

THIS WEEK IN SCHADENFREUDE: Ohio State fans suspect a Deep Ohio State plot

J.T. Barrett blackmailing Urban Meyer? Kevin Wilson leading a coup? Your weekly tour of the best in college football internet anger plants its flag in Columbus.

Ohio State took a home pounding against Oklahoma on Saturday night, dropping the Buckeyes from No. 2 to 8 in the AP Poll. Buckeyes fans were so angry that this week, they’re all LOSING THEIR BLACK STRIPES and being featured on THIS WEEK IN SCHADENFREUDE. Let’s dive into the best of Ohio State’s post-OU internet scene.

We start our journey in Urban Meyer’s Twitter mentions.

Everyone was supportive of the man who’s now 62-7 with a national championship at Ohio State.

Meyer had criticized ex-OSU assistant Tom Herman in the press this week, after Herman said he couldn’t “sprinkle some fairy dust” on his new team at Texas to make it good.

I mean, other than faking a heart condition and leaving @UF in shambles with murderers and criminals. #dealwithit #fail #tosu

— Bob Loblaw (@guiltybyproxy) September 10, 2017

Just a reminder @OSUCoachMeyer you lost and you suck and are a terrible excuse for a human being

— Mock Wahlberg (@FredJonesWalter) September 10, 2017

@OSUCoachMeyer #notmadjustdisappointed

— Jason Guffey (@guffalito) September 10, 2017

WTF @OSUCoachMeyer You suck leave Ohio State good recruiter not a good coach

— BEAT ARMY (@lilbuck55) September 10, 2017

Buckeye Conspiracy Theory No. 1: Is J.T. Barrett blackmailing Meyer to keep the starting QB job?

The only way JT Barrett keeps his starting job is if he has some serious dirt on @OSUCoachMeyer #Buckeyes

— Alex (@10115721) September 10, 2017

A message board thread posits the same question:

What does JT have on urban Meyer? Why is he so in love with this below average QB? Does he want to win championships? This QB is not going to win ilia championships!!!

Buckeye Conspiracy No. 2: Is Meyer’s own offensive coordinator plotting to take the head coaching job?

The denizens of Buckeye Sports were restless, and some are buying that Ohio State’s OC is plotting to overthrow Meyer.

THREAD: “Absurd Conspiracy Theory:”

Kevin Wilson might be looking for an elite head coaching job, and what better place to consider than where he is currently located.

If so, would Wilson care if our fan base called for Meyer's head? Who would be next in line on Meyer's staff? Would Wilson care if our fans thought Meyer was over-riding his ideas in this dysfunctional offense? Maybe Meyer partially is, and maybe that would be justification in his mind?

It goes deeper.

Just a note, -long time Wilson confidant, Bob Stoops, was in the building last night. Who would Wilson be more loyal to?

Yes, this is pretty f-ing absurd I agree...and I would like to have more faith that backstabbing and conniving like this doesn't go on..but stranger things have happened.

Hopefully, Meyer watches his back.

The first person to reply was really, really sure that this is happening:

Not a conspiracy at all.

It goes deeper.

Weren't you watching last week? It's no coincidence that Wilson's former team had a 21-20 lead against OSU. There's been rumblings that IU had knowledge of OSUs first half game plan. Who else but Wilson could've supplied that information? There's lots of talk about how shady Wilson is in how he interacts with the rest of the staff. At some point Meyer will have to cut ties with Wilson before the end of the season.

Another member of that board suggests Barrett is aging in reverse, a truly devious maneuver against Meyer.

THREAD: “He’s aged 20 years in 4.”

JT looks old. Like a 39 yr old veteran with ice packs on both knees just trying to grind out one more season of glory before his body goes out to pasture. The problem is he's not 39. This is not a 16 yr NFL vet giving it one last harrah. This is a college football player who should be in the best shape of his life! What happened to this kid? He used to be able to run! Never confused for a burner but he certainly could pickup his feet and move making him effective at chewing up yards on the ground. Now he looks like he's moving in slow motion out there. His 40 time must've slipped from about a 4.6 to a 5.2 during his extended tenure at tOSU. Old grandpa looking QB smh. Old and tired

Let’s stroll on over to r/OhioStateFootball.

THREAD: “To all the JT fans, who said he shouldn't be benched...”

THREAD: “Save the Barrett hate”

The first comment:

Can we start now?

THREAD: “I'm an Army cadet and I'm planting a flag once Army wins.”

Try to stop me.

I can’t think of a more moving example of U.S. military personnel planting a flag. The Black Knights play at Ohio State next week. Baker Mayfield did this Saturday:

Baker Mayfield plants the OU flag in the Ohio State logo at midfield http://pic.twitter.com/Ovas203PqP

— Bryan Fischer (@BryanDFischer) September 10, 2017

Others at r/OhioState were furious.

THREAD: “Fuck Baker Mayfield and the Oklahoma Sooners.”

I never thought something like what Mayfield just did would piss me off so much. Don't plant shit on our field. Especially not on the "O". You RESPECT the "O". You piece of shit. Just take your W, go home and run around out there. You looked like a kindergartener out running like that. Learn to respect your opponents next time, asshole.

Later, a revision:

EDIT: I know we can be dicks too, I was just in the moment talking and getting pissed that's all

THREAD: “How I feel after the OSU Vs Oklahoma game.”

Via Haedman on Reddit

At the Bucknuts forums, users feared the mods were in on the conspiracy.

THREAD: “Barret is the Problem (respond quick!; mod deletion imminent!)”

THREAD: “Hey Staff

How about growing a SET and demanding to know from Urban himself when this crapshow offense is gonna stop and these 4 and 5 star recruits will be played to the strengths and potential??? 3 of the last 4 games and the same old crap offense!

The first response:

Well said! Sick and tired of hearing our "WHAC SOURCES", they are all full of shit! Please give me some honest intell on what the hell is going on inside the WHAC! Prince still sucks, JT is still inaccurate, and the WR still suck! It this staff didn't bring really good recruiting info. I would cancel my membership! Duane will probably lock this thread now!

THREAD: “Have Fun”

Recruiting after that.

Ohio State has the No. 1 recruiting class in the country and could finish with the highest-rated class in the history of recruiting rankings.

THREAD: “Urban needs to change ...”

Or be fired. I'm sorry, I can't watch this dogshit anymore. Fucking pathetic!

THREAD: “If you have 9 captains”

You have none... Is this any different than the old saying... if you have 2 QBs you have none... just something to think about...

Leadership is about what you do and not what you say... Urban has been talking a good game but for the last 3 years but you have to start wondering about his actions...

Can't he see that "his" offense has been figured out especially with a QB that lacks the ability to "perform" on the big stages he has been on... We should all be so thankful for Cardale Jones and Tom Herman in 2014 or we would be 0-fer right now on NCs... at this point in time unless something drastically changes we will not beat PSU or SCUM this year... just won't happen...

THREAD: Leadership

For a team with 9 captains, I'm not seeing a lot of leadership on this team. We played flat 90% of the game tonight.

THREAD: “Last post from me for awile”

THREAD: “This team sucks on defense”

We can't cover an old lady. I'm a life long buckeye and I'm done. Urban Meyer is the most overrated coach in college football. Losing to this shit is deplorable. Bye bye buckeyes...

Here are some comments on articles at Eleven Warriors.

I cannot imagine how fucking easy it is for an opposing defensive coordinator to prepare and coach against our offense. Our offense seriously looks like a Division 5 high school offense. It's absolutely pathetic and it's embarrassing. I REALLLLY wish I could be a fly in the wall in some of these meetings when we play legitimate teams. Their defensive staffs seriously have to laugh their asses off at how impotent we are.

And:

Urban is to blame for everything, you pissed the last 2 years, 2 years ago you screwed up against MSU, you cost your players and coaches and buckeye nation back to back nattys. Why don't you just call the damn plays. Too damn bad you can't coach as good as you can talk, you couldn't carry Nick's or Dabo's jock strap right now. If you can't do any better than this, then quit!

Facebook was a battlefield, too.

One user wrote:

They should fire Urban Meyer, bench JT Barrett, rip up the turf, get rid of Brutus

Photo by Jamie Sabau/Getty Images

Brutus, fleeing the vicinity

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The Buckeyes suck. TJ barrett can not hit the broad of a barn. And 4&5 star receivers who can not get open or catch the ball when they do.

Dikirim oleh Bill Lewis pada 10 September 2017

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Fucking pathetic display of awesome option football Urban I can't wait till they finally can your ass. Should've done it...

Dikirim oleh Shawn Smith pada 10 September 2017

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Cut his pay or fire him

Posted by Douglas Noble on Sunday, September 10, 2017

After a Big Ten title game loss a few years ago, Meyer ate a pizza ...

Surrounded by family, Urban Meyer eats postgame pizza very quietly in corridor beneath Lucas Oil Stadium. http://pic.twitter.com/80FtTVegWQ

— George Schroeder (@GeorgeSchroeder) December 8, 2013

... so some people tweeted his wife to make sure he didn’t eat another.

@spinnershells No Papa John's tonight. OK?

— The Cincy Buckeye (@TheCincyBuckeye) September 10, 2017

The good folks at Eleven Warriors made a 12-minute, 44-second video of nothing but sad Ohio State fans leaving the Horseshoe.

Everything here’s melancholy. But if Buckeye melancholy your thing, it’s great.

One commenter says:

Generally speaking, we have the most irrational fan base in all of college football. I could care less what they think.