#posting this on my lunch break lmao
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on the job
joel miller x female reader



summary: you and joel are forced to work together, but neither of you can get past the others stubborn attitude or contractor!joel and interior designer!reader fuck in a walk-in closet
content: nsfw, 18+ mdni, pre outbreak!joel, heâs kind of a huge asshole sorry, teasing, degradation, dirty talk, slightly dubcon, fingering, use of nicknames such as princess sweetheart and good girl, finger sucking, unprotected p in v sex, rough sex, sex against a wall, kinda public sex bc itâs on a job site?? pull out game strong with this one
authorâs note: based on this lovely request. i made joel a little mean bc it felt right but at the end of the day he will forever be babygirl. also, i know very little about both of these professions so i apologize for any inaccuracies in that department
You liked to think that you were easy to work with, always polite and mindfulâ pleasant even.
You mostly kept to yourself, especially when you were working on a project alongside others, however, not everyone shared your cooperative mindset.
In fact, you had worked with a multitude of assholes. Men who thought they held some kind of power over you, who flourished under the opportunity to demean and mock your job like theirs was more important, but none of them even held a candle to Joel Miller.
Your paths crossed when you were hired by a pretentious, middle-aged woman in Austin to help design the interior of her new homeâ a home that was still under construction.
To make yourself familiar with the layout, you visited the site multiple times in the weeks before construction was scheduled to finish.
It was always an easy and uneventful trip. You greeted the workers, took a few pictures, wrote down some dimensions and then you were gone in twenty minutes tops; but that all changed the day you met Joel.Â
You waltzed into the house, waving to one of the men you had come to know from your previous visits and then you heard it, a deep berating voice targeted directly at you.
âWho the hell are you and why are you on my site without a fuckinâ hard hat?â
You stopped in your tracks as you were met with an unknown face.Â
âUh sorry. Iâm working on an interior design project for the Johnsonâs. They told me I was welcome to come check out the space if I needed anything.â You didnât know why, but your voice was coming out in compliance, the tone hushed.Â
The way this man approached you was incredibly entitled and unabashedly rude.
Normally you wouldnât let some asshole like this get within two feet of you, let alone talk to you like that; but this guy had you questioning your morals for a split second. He was tall, and broad, and handsome. The southern drawl slipping from the smug curl of his lips and the flex of his biceps as his arms crossed over his chest, had your words stuttering.
âWell, until my job is finished, and the Johnsonâs have the keys to their front door, I call the shots. And I donât do well with unexpected visitors walkinâ around while my guys are trying to get work done.â
Your mouth nearly hung open at his words.
Youâd barely said a word to him and he was coming at you with a disgustingly brash and assertive attitude. What the hell was his deal?
âOkay...â The word was drawn-out as it fell from your lips in annoyance.
âWell, itâs kind of funny, because this is probably the fifth time Iâve been here, and none of your guys seem to give a rats ass, so how about you let me do my job and Iâll let you do yours.âÂ
Finally, you had gotten past the strangerâs criminally good looks and stuck to your guns.
There was no way in hell you were going to let him reprimand you for doing your job. Afterall, you had every right to be here.Â
âYeah well, my guys will let you do whatever you want when youâre prancinâ around here in tight little dresses and high heels. You think theyâre just beinâ nice for the hell of it?âÂ
His irritation was masked by amusement as he looked you up and down, dramatically raking his eyes over your body.Â
âI donât know who you think you are, but Iâd really appreciate it if you could just drop the attitude and keep things professional.â The quality of your voice was stern, juxtaposing the way his eyes on your body had you suddenly feeling a rush of heat throughout your chest.
Anger.
The warmth was an angry fervor, definitely not one of lust or temptation. It was a burning irritation for the man standing in front of you, not a curious warmth for how his eyes clung to every curve of your body, taking his time drinking in any exposed skin.
His smile widened as he watched you falter under his stare. âIâll drop my attitude when you drop yours sweetheart.â
âListen, Mr-â
âMiller. Joel Miller.â
âOkay, Mr. Joel Miller. I have work to do, so Iâm just going to walk past you, take a few notes and Iâll be out of your hair. Deal?âÂ
âFine. But if I see you back here again you better be wearinâ a hard hat. Donât need any trouble because you trip and hit your pretty little head.â He let his eyes wander down your body once more, his voice full of sarcasm.
âYeah yeah, got it boss.â You scoffed as you pushed past his broad frame. You didnât turn to look back, but you could practically feel his eyes burning into you as you swayed into the entry way, hoping it was the last time youâd ever have to speak to him.
Unfortunately, it wasnât.
You ran into Joel a few more times, each meeting more infuriating and demeaning than the last. He always had a smart comment on his tongue or a mocking intention in his voice.Â
Joel Miller had quickly become the bane of your existence; yet, for some reason there was a part of you, deep down, that always hoped to run into him when you went to scout out a new project for the house.  Â
Maybe because he was undeniably handsome, always walking around with a charming smirk on his lips and a devious glint in his big brown eyes. It was almost as if he were challenging youâ seeing how far he could push you before you snapped.Â
He continued to test your patience as you now stood in the giant walk-in closet off the primary bedroom.
You were trying to establish a color scheme sophisticated enough to fit Miss Johnsonâs impossible to please pallet while Joel was making unnecessarily loud noises across the room.
He was far from graceful, the slamming and pounding of tools was all you could hear as he worked on one of the many intricate shoe shelves on the wall.
âI thought this side of the house was done.â You were speaking without looking in his direction, your eyes following the paint swatches on the wall.Â
âWas.â Joelâs voice was gruff as he continued working.
âUntil the queen decided she needed more storage for all her designer shit.â He was chuckling at his own words, side eyeing you from his spot kneeling on the floor.Â
âYou are genuinely the most unprofessional person Iâve ever met.â You dismissed his rude comment about the woman you were both employed by.
âThat right?â
You refused to look at him, but you could hear the delight in his voice.Â
âAbsolutely.â Your response was curt, a quick and straight-forward delivery.
âGood.â
As if you couldnât hate him more, the word leaving his lips had you turning your head sharply in his direction, an appalled expression plastered across your face.Â
âGod you get on my last nerve.â
âThat right?â Again, his lips tugged into a smirk as he looked at you.Â
You raised your brows in annoyance with a single nod of your head at his question.
âGood.â His voice was taunting as he watched you shake your head in frustration.Â
You brought your eyes back to the wall in front of you, not giving Joel another second of your attention.
After a few seconds of silence his deep voice broke into the room. âYou know, if you werenât so uptight, maybe Iâd ask you out for a drink sometime.âÂ
It took you a minute to register his words. Was he implying that he wanted to ask you on a date while insulting you at the same time? What a fucked-up, backhanded compliment; one that had your chest stirring with warmth.
âWell, I guess itâs too bad Iâm such an high-strung bitch then.â Sarcasm dripped from your words as you kept your eyes trained ahead, your head spinning from Joelâs implicit interest.Â
âI doubt youâd last one minute in the bar Iâd take you to anyway.â
His comment had your head snapping back again. This time his eyes were already on you, waiting to see a reaction.Â
âAnd whyâs that?â Your voice cut through the room at his assumption.Â
âBecause itâs not exactly a five star establishment, and I think youâre just like all these pretentious fucks you work for.â He raised an eyebrow at you before turning back to the shelf in front of him, tending to a few finishing touches.Â
âAlways so put together, walking around here with your shoulders high.â He was nonchalant as he criticized you, hands busy taking measurements, not even paying an ounce of attention to the dirty look you were currently shooting at him from the other side of the room.Â
âYou think youâre better than everyone, but youâre just another pretty face with an overblown ego.â
There it was. The final blow that had your body tensing with anger.
You couldnât believe that just a few seconds ago you were letting him flatter you, swooning under the smallest inkling of positivity he threw your way.
He was the worst kind of guy, the kind that built you up just to tear you down. The kind that wanted to make you feel worse about yourself so you would go running to him for a semblance of positive reinforcement.
Joel Miller liked the chaseâ thrived off being such a douchebag that women somehow ended up falling on their knees for him. But you, you werenât going to be that woman.Â
âMe? Talk about a massive-fucking-ego, take a look in the mirror Miller. Youâre the one always making sure I know my place around here, acting like a fucking sociopath. Itâs like you get off on being an asshole.â
He stopped what he was doing and looked directly at you, his expression unreadable, like your cruel words caused a switch in him to flip.Â
âMaybe I do.â
âWhat?â
âMaybe I like gettinâ under your skin, watchinâ you get all flustered.â He spoke slowly, setting down his materials and standing to his feet.
âThink itâs kinda cute. Youâre always tryinâ to act all big and bad, but I know I make you nervous. I can see it in the way you look at me.â He didnât move, the smirk on his face causing your eyebrows to furrow in irritation.Â
You crossed your arms over your chest, standing strong on your opinion that Joel was the worldâs biggest asshole. You wouldnât give him the satisfaction of letting his words get to you.
âYou can stop wherever youâre going with this. Iâm not here to play your little bullshit games, Iâm here to do a job and get paid.â
âWho says you canât have a little fun on the job?â His voice was laced with a deep seriousness as he set his tools down on one of the many shelves adorning the walls. You watched him over your shoulder but kept your back turned, your body still facing the wall.
âTurn around.â The command left his lips and you wanted to laugh at his attempt of authority but the sincerity in his voice stopped you in your tracks.Â
âWhat? No-â
âCâmon sweetheart, I think we both know you like beinâ told what to do.â His voice cut you off, the signature smirk on his lips sending a buzz straight to your head.
You didnât mean to, or maybe you did, but your body turned to face him, watching intently as he continued speaking. His broad frame emphatic as he stood across from you.
âI bet you like it, having someone boss you around. Makes you feel a little inferior.â
As the words left his lips he began walking toward you.
It was a casual stroll, not intense or threatening, yet you felt your pulse racing and your posture slumping at his advances.
âOh please. You need a reality check Joel.âÂ
âWanna give it to me princess?â
You kept the appearance of control as he continued moving forward, but internally you were fighting feelings of complete disarray.
You wanted to be offendedâ maybe even slap him across the face for his wildly inappropriate nickname and the implication of his words. But instead, you froze, his body now less than a foot away from yours and his words ringing in your ears.Â
There was absolutely no denying the way his statement had your thighs clenching and your head spinning. Something in his delivery, smug and dirty with his eyes holding a perverted hunger and a promise of follow through, made you weak.
You kept your body from jolting when you felt the touch of his hand wrapping around your waist, finding purchase dangerously low on your back.Â
âBet youâve never done anythinâ like this.â His voice was sturdyâ rigid with power.
The weight of his hand was rough, his palm resting just above the curve of your ass. His touch was heavy yet temperate as he held you, softly pulling youâre your body further into his.Â
âLettinâ some guy you barely know put his hands all over you.â
You watched his eyes carefully, your lips parted but you couldnât find any words to fill them. You werenât sure if you wanted to tell him to stop or keep going.Â
âBet all the guys you hook up with are just as prim and proper as you. Canât imagine that those dipshits graduating from UT with a business degree are fuckinâ you the right way.â
His other hand came to the small of your waist, the movement sending a faint gasp straight to your lips. Your reaction had Joel smirking, reinforcing his grip on your body.
âProbably donât even know how to get you off.âÂ
âYouâre disgusting.â Your voice was a whisper. The insult that you meant to hurl his way dissolved in a pitiful sigh at the way his fingertips were latching onto you.
âAm I? Bet you like that too.â This time he leaned in, causing his words to land directly in your ear, his breath warm on your neck. Â
âBet you want someone a little rough around the edges. Someone to fuck you real nice.âÂ
As he spoke, his fingers curled into your body. His grip on you constricting.
His frame pushed into yours, sending you shuffling backward until your back was met with the solid friction of the wall.
âJoel..âÂ
You were searching in your mind, trying to form an articulate sentence to explain why this was wrong; why you couldnât be in this position with him.
But he had you trapped against the weight of his bodyâ big and wide and rough.
Every single rational thought in your head dissipated, replaced by an instinctual need to have him fuck you against the wall of this ridiculously expensive closet.
He was right, youâd never done anything like this and the excitement of itâ the risk, had your entire body burning with white-hot desire.Â
âTell me to stop and I will.â His hands were holding your hips, pressing you into the wall with his chest dangerously close to yours.Â
âBut I donât think you want me to.â For a single second you could see an indication of honesty in his eyes as he looked you over, searching for any sign of distress on your face. And when he couldnât find it, his stare narrowed and his hands held tighter, rotating your body in his grasp until your chest was pressed against the wall.Â
âI think,â He leaned into you, your ass pushing against the bulge in his jeans as his hum landed on the skin right beneath your ear.Â
âYou want me to lift up this pretty little dress and fuck you nice and hard right here, against this wall.â
His hands found the hem of your dress, bringing it up just enough to bunch at your waist.
Your lower half was almost bare, the only clothing keeping your cunt from being fully exposed to him was the little black thong encasing the dripping mess that had now built up between your legs. It didnât stop him from reaching between your bodies, pressing his thumb against your clothed entrance.Â
âFuck- youâre soaked princess.â The first word was a prolonged throaty groan, the rest of the sentence fumbling behind it.Â
âHow long you been thinkinâ bout this huh? Me touchinâ you, makinâ you beg for it.â He was having too much fun playing with you through your panties, his thumb threatening to dip into you even with the lace still covering your entrance.
He pushed against it, moving between your clothed folds and marveling at the wetness seeping through the material.Â
âIâm not begging.â You managed to hiss out a response, turning your head to peer at him, your cheek nearly pressing against the wall.Â
âOh, so sheâs always mouthy huh?âÂ
You watched the diabolical grin eat away at his face from the power trip of having you trapped under his weight.
You could talk-back all you wantedâ be as bratty and uncooperative as possible, but it didnât change the fact that he had you right where he wanted you.Â
âKeep talkinâ baby, go on.â He innocently raised his brows at you, his voice taunting as the weight of his thumb danced between your legs.
âI Know you want this too. You act like you canât stand me, but I see the way you look at meâŠâ Your voice was quiet but strong as you held onto the last bit of composure you had left, using it to defy the man at your back.
You were trying your best not to lose your train of thought as you spoke. You wouldnât give up the fight that easily, succumbing to his tempting words and lewd touches. You could tell Joel was used to getting his way and every muscle in your body ached to challenge him.Â
âThe way your eyes are glued to my ass every time I walk past you.â You glared over your shoulder as the words drifted off your lips in a gentle accusation.Â
His dark chuckle filled the room as his eyes darted away from yours for a short second. Then his stare was back on youâ more intense than before. The two of you watching each other, sitting in a pool of mutual revelation.Â
You both knew it.
You knew since day one that there was a shared attraction, an unspoken sexual tension hidden behind rude words and unsavory exchanges.
What was happening now was just a detonation of built-up pressure that had been stewing for weeks; evident in the wetness at your core and the bulge in Joelâs jeans.Â
âAnythinâ else you wanna say? Should probably get it all out before I have you all fucked-out on my cock.â His voice dropped to a low whisper as he hooked his thumb into your underwear, pulling the material to the side, not even bothering to take them off completely.Â
A soft gasp slid from your lips at the cool air meeting your newly exposed center, the slick pooling at your entrance only adding to the airy sensation.Â
âYouâre so fucking arrogant.âÂ
The words barely left your lips when you felt his touch meet your core, his fingers spreading your arousal.
You had more to say to him, you wanted to tell him how annoying he was and how you had lost every ounce of decency by letting him talk to you this way, but the words were caught in your throat as he pushed two fingers into you.Â
âMaybe I have good reason to be.âÂ
Your eyes were squeezed shut at the unexpected feeling of him filling you with his fingers, yet you could hear the smirk dripping in his voice.
âYou ever think about that sweetheart?â
His words were impatient, the initial drive of his fingers into your entrance was rough, but now they slowly worked into you. His movements were carefulâ cautious even.
It was as if he wanted to take his time, watching your body and listening to the shaky breaths leave your lips.
His hand worked between your legs, searching for the exact technique that would send you spewing profanities and crumbling against the wall. Â
He curled his fingertips at just the right spot, not too deep and not too forceful, just a gentle pulse that had an impulsive whimper pouring from your chest.
âMaybe Iâm so arrogant because I know Iâm good at what I do.â His words held a double meaning as he added a third finger to stroke your newfound sweet spot.
You almost yelped from the stretch, but you held it back as best you could, refusing to give him the gratification of your submission.Â
The position he had you in; back arched and ass pushed out, made it almost embarrassingly easy for the addition of a third digit as he watched them to sink into you.
You couldnât help but hum in approval as he stroked you repeatedly, rubbing against the inviting drawl of your walls. You tried not to lose yourself at his fingertips, knowing from the familiar coil of pleasure in your core that he could have you coming on his fingers at any given moment.Â
âThought you were gonna fuck me, huh?â Your voice was a string of moans as you tried your best to form a coherent sentence with his hand pushed between your bodies.Â
As much as you didnât want his movements to stop, you also didnât want to give him the satisfaction of making you finish when heâd barely even gotten his hands on you.
Knowing Joel, he would never let you live it down. Heâd ride around on his metaphorical high horse and crown himself the king of female orgasms. So instead of letting him bring you to the precipice of release, you met him with a phrase of defiance. But your challenging words were really just a gateway to get what you wanted. You could put on a tough act, but at the end of the day Joel was right, you did want him to fuck you in way no one ever hadâ hungry and hard against the wall, right here in your clientâs house.
In fact, the thought of it had taken over every fiber of your being. The anticipation of feeling him rail into you was clouding your judgement and coursing through your veins at an alarming speed.Â
âThink you can take it?â His growl stuck in your ears as he pulled out of you. The lewd noises of his fingers plunging into the slick mess at your folds was quickly replaced by the sound of him fumbling with his belt buckle.Â
âHow dâyou want it, huh baby? You the sentimental type? Want it nice and slow and deep? Or dâyou just wanna be ruined? Want someone to be a little rough with ya?â He was asking, but you couldnât help but note the rhetorical quality of his words as you heard the rustle of his jeans pushing down his thighs.Â
âThatâs sweet of you to give me choice, maybe you donât like control as much as I thought- â
Your sarcastic remark was cut short at the abrupt stretch of Joelâs length slamming into you.
âRough it is then.â His voice was a deep grunt echoing from behind you as he paused, giving you a split second to adjust before pulling back out and thrusting into you again.Â
âShit princess, didnât think youâd be this fuckinâ tight.â
His voice swam with amusement and pleasure as he watched the way his dick fully disappeared into you with each thrust of his hips.
Hands pulled at your waist as you felt Joel drive deeper with every breathless groan floating off his lips.Â
âLook at you, takinâ me like such a good girl.â The words werenât sweet, instead they teased you, shooting out of his mouth with a mocking tenor.Â
You couldnât keep your body from reacting to his praise, albeit contemptuous, the words still held a deep truth about the situation unfolding against the wall of your shared employerâs closet.Â
âOh, you like that donât ya? When I tell you what a good girl you are?â His voice was a broken growl of grunts and sighs as he fucked into youâ vigorous and desperate.
His pace was unrelenting as he held onto your waist, pulling you back to meet him with every drive of his hips into yours.Â
He let one of his hands travel up your body until he was reaching for your jaw, tilting your head up and back until your body was arched at a sinful angle.
âSee, I knew you just needed a good fuck.â His groan was right in your ear now that he held your head close to his, the grip he had on your jaw was firm.
It was becoming impossible for you to keep quiet, the strength and depth of his thrusts were causing explicit moans to skate past yours lips.
The hand that Joel was using to hold your face was now maneuvering to your mouth in an effort to muffle the obscene sounds rolling off your tongue. Two of his fingers pushed at your lips, hooking into your mouth.Â
âKnew that little attitude aâyours was all for show.â
You closed your lips around his digits as he railed into you, a guttural moan sliding up your throat and humming onto his fingers.Â
âFuck.â His fowl groan was a direct result of your soft mouth sucking around his fingers, mimicking the way you had his cock encased between your legs.
You invited his touch onto your tongue, swirling around his thick digits and sucking him in deeper, earning a prolonged sigh from Joel as he fucked into you even harder.
Each stroke of his cock had your body pressing further into the wallâ his pace was mean and unyielding, like he had something to prove.Â
With the hand not in your mouth, Joel reached around your body, his fingertips finding your clit and rubbing quick careless circles over the bundle of nerves.
Your body faltered under his touch, your knees slightly buckling, and if it werenât for the weight of his body trapping you against the wall, youâd be a puddle on the floor.Â
He slowed his pace slightly, taking his time to find that spot along your walls again. The one that he discovered just minutes ago when he was three fingers deep in your dripping cunt.Â
Whines of approval vibrated against the pads of his fingertips still pressing down on your tongue. His hips began rocking into you at just the right angleâ slow and deliberate, with the goal of feeling you coming undone on his cock.Â
âThat it baby? Right there?â Again, his words were a sadistic tease, but his voice gave way to pitiful throaty whines.
You couldnât speak, couldnât even think with the way he was working you toward your release.
Everything felt so overwhelming, his unrelenting thrusts hitting you in the perfect place, his touch on your clit, rough and impatient and his fingers filling your mouthâ all of it creating the perfect storm of inconceivable pleasure.Â
A jolt of relief surged through your body as the pressure inside you snapped. You let yourself fall further into the wall as Joelâs name slipped from your mouth in a chant.
Hearing his name on your lips in such a distant and dazed voice, had Joelâs cock pulsing. Your walls were clenching from your climax, sucking him in deeper and he couldnât handle the abundance of warmth enveloping him.Â
Both of his hands came down to your hips, fingers digging into your skin as held tight.
His thrusts were merciless as he used you to reach his peak, chasing the familiar buildup of tension in his core as he drove into you at a startling pace.Â
Then he pulled out abruptly.Â
One hand on his cock, stroking just twice before spilling onto the skin of your lower back, the other pushing your dress further up your body to keep it from becoming a jizz painted mess.Â
Silence filled the room.
Neither of you spoke as your hands pushed against the wall underneath your palms. You stayed pressed there, Joelâs body still behind you evident in the ragged breaths leaving his chest.Â
Still no words were exchanged as you felt Joel take a step back, the warmth of his presence fading just slightly.
You dared to break your pleasure induced trance to look over your shoulder, only find him pulling his jeans back up his body and tightening his belt without even sparing you a glance.
You began to move until you were reminded of the thick warm mess resting on your back, keeping you from pulling your dress down.
Before you could do anything, Joel was back behind you, hooking his fingers into the waist band of your panties and tugging them down your legs. He stopped at your ankles to tap against your skin, prompting you to step out of them.
Once the lacy material was fully in his grasp, he brought them up to your lower back, using them to gather his spend. He cleaned his mess with the lacy material then pulled your dress back down to cover your lower half. A sticky residue was left on your backside as a plaguing reminder of what had just transpired between you.Â
You turned to face him, watching as he crumpled up your ruined underwear and shoved it into his back pocket with a smirk on his face.Â
âHow about that drink? Could meet you tomorrow night, should be done here around five.â He was back across the room in an instant, gathering tools and not bothering to look in your direction.
His invitation was genuine, but his words lacked interest.Â
âIâll get these back to you then.â His hand came to rest on his back pocket, fingers tapping against the denim holding your used panties.
A self-righteous smile sat on his face as he shot you a look of pure deviance before his eyes were back on his hands as they worked to gather his materials.Â
âYeah, okay.â Your voice came out more flustered than you intended as you smoothed out your dress over your thighs.
Joel was heading for the closet door, tool bag clutched in his hand as he gave you one last gaze of victory.
âItâs a date.â The words were a grumble from his lips, the same ones that were busy parading a smug smile.Â
Then he left you standing alone in the small room, your mind racing around itself and your legs still trembling.
A subtle grin rested on your face as you stared down at the floor, trying to find some sort of equilibrium before even attempting to move.
The giant walk-in closet still encasing a lingering heat of reckless choices as you prepared to go on with your dayâ business as usual.
my masterlist
#posting this on my lunch break lmao#enjoy a little afternoon delight from me to you#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller smut
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Round 1 Part 2 has started and will be rolling out over the next couple hours!
Sorry I havenât linked to any of the polls in the masterpost, Iâve been busy!
#posting this on my lunch break lmao#thank goodness queues exist#itâs gonna be hard to top the excitement from Part 1 but weâll see!
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Eyo, the Forgotten Land Roleswap just got renewed for another season đ€âš
#please accept my humble lunch break doodle#YES my plan right now is for star crossed worlds to be incorporated when the time comes!#Iâm not too worried since itâs post game but we shall see!! shall be interesting!#everything else for now is moving forward according to plan >:3#I can handle any lore adjustments outside of like TIME TRAVEL LMAO#hopefully it wonât get 1000% turned upside down!#hope yâall enjoy the regularly scheduled programming tho im working hard on the next update!#school just really be taking up time again skskdjfks#art#king dedede#meta knight#elfilis#forgotten land roleswap#kirby series#kirby and the forgotten land#kirby#star crossed worlds#Nintendo direct spoilers#Roleswap bonus features
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Same fingerprint scanner my ass
The Samsung does NOT have a round fingerprint scanner
But in all honesty, I couldn't identify a phone if it had a fuckin model number on it
I'll be totally honest here... I did notice the shape was different from the start. I was being lazy and thought, "oh its just the angle.... the edit I did over the original could've compressed the pixels to make it look round.... yeah no need to dig any further" <- Thats the devil talking.
It kills me to read the notes on the og post cause everyone thinks I didn't notice the fingerprint scanner when the truth is much more embarrassing: I ignored it cause I'm what you might call... stupid
#but to the ppl who say i shouldve noticed cause it doesnt say samsung on the back: WRONG#backglass is easy to break and most replacements dont have a logo on the back so its not a reliable feature for ID#also i wanted to complete the ID during my lunch break so i kinda rushed lmao#i thought about including the scanner discrepancy in the post but it was too bulky#and i genuinely did not notice the color gradient i thought it was the holo color shift of the a30#but anyway. excuses excuses!#i dont want to overexplain for fear of looking petty especially when getting it wrong was way funnier than being right lmao#not ID#ask
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*sprints in a few hours late and slaps this bad boy down*
CONGRATS ON 500 DAYS @castielsprostate !!!! You'll convince him one of these days!!!
#soz if its a bit haphazard lmao I was trying to put it together on my lunch break#but congrats on 500 days Boss! you'll get him one of these days!!! o7#500daysofmisha#FUCK- JUST NOTICED I MISSED THE LIGHTLYYYYTY#but nah I cackle anytime that post sludes across my dash
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Hey! Drew you some creelson since youâre the whole reason that I kinda ship it now lol

Romance is dead, Henry murdered it to impress Eddie :)
THIS MADE MY DAY!!! MADE MY ABSOLUTELY DAY!!!!!
âand of course Henry would actually kill for Eddie (he did) Eddie is totally impressed honestly
#creelson#SCREAMING DURING MY LUNCH BREAK AT WORK RN#I LOVE THIS THANK YOU YOURE AMAZINGđ#so constant posting about my blorbo WORKSđlmao#they look so cute and so them !!! and the blood trailing after henry lmao#the slightest height difference between themđ„č#too late eddie he already did the romantic thing already#henryâs love language is act of service is the service is killing#or gifts but the gifts are dead peopleâ#metalkiller#i am still obsessed with this#this lil gift gonna make my whole month honestly#henry x eddie#creelson art
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Curse work for scheduling me three long ass shifts in a row
Anyways 100th fic will be posted tomorrow
#i WANTED to do it today but its like 4k words long and i was EXHAUSTED last night so i didnt save it#and i want it to be good and didnt want to do that from my phone during my lunch break#i wanna take my time#anyways i will be taking a break from posting one shots after that#ill make a longer post later but for may i likely wont be able to set my computer up so itll only be birthday fic and a short thing then#cuz i cant stop posting lmao#ill prolly have a bunch of stuff come summer once ive moved and settled in#also bonus sneak peak is tmrs fic is the ingo remembers one from the motivation poll!#verrrry excited to get that up
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two guys i know just walked into my study hall said "I think we have an announcement to make.." then held hands at the front of the room and said "WE'RE GAY!!" to a room of about 5 people. i guess
#i make yet anothet post just for me đ#true highschool experience for me is sitting down to cram all of my make up work i needed to do over the break into 2 study halls#(plus lunch)#because i was too busy going insane about the suckening and generally jerwee last night to focus#actually i still cant focus. but i have no other choice so#anyway couldnt make this up if i tried (none of us even looked up at them LMAO)
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what if capitalism is making the one job i thought was possible for me feel unattainable not because i havenât literally been doing it since age 13 but because itâs not well paid enough so until you get into a higher position you have to work multiple jobs and i knew that i always knew that but. fuck. why is adulting going to be so exhausting. what if this really is the best time of my life? being a depressed college student? what if itâs downhill from here?
#I love my quiet getting high nights cause they let me unlock my thoughts#i HATE my quiet getting high nights cause they let me unlock my thoughts#like bestie I was just watching critical role why did I pause it to write this down#anyway in other news I have a ten hour tech day and Iâm âšscaredâš#technically itâs nine and a half though because they moved the call by a whole half hour#and honestly Iâm going to get breakfast for meal swipes so I might end up being late cause breakfast doesnât open until 10#but like fuck if Iâm gonna try to make food here#I want to pack my bag tonight but also I just laid down after doing dishes and Iâm exhausted#Iâve had such a long day too I had two normal classes (one of which I basically led the class. I interviewed two professionals in front of#the whole class. FUCK I probably need to send them a thank you email. thatâs gonna be a tmrw issue or I might draft hifh but like not sendin#but anyway after that I had one hour for lunch and then three hour lab which was fun!! because we went ride pooling but like we walked a#shit ton and in the sun#oh and my roommates mustâve forgotten I come with today cause they left me behind (which is totally fine cause I didnât get up but it did#mean I had to catch the on campus transport and that takes forever and so I was late to meet my friend for breakfast and dining hall was#closed so I had to get food elsewhere which literally cost the same as the dining hall in the morning which is dumb but it took waaay longer#anyway hifh boom takes tumblr diary entries too seriously idk why I channeled my whole life into this post lmao#i think itâs cause Iâm self-isolating HARD (despite being fairly social at the moment? itâs a surprisingly cool balancing act im pulling off#quite well as a busy bee) so I felt the need to pretend to have human connection without actually breaking my self-imposed isolation lmao#boom blogs high
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Got tagged by @greighishâ again :D
15 questions for 15 mutuals:
are you named after anyone? - nope but apparently all the younger kids on the maternal side of the family got named after me? we donât really do generational names in vietnamese I think (my older cousins all have different names), but all the younger kidsâ names start the same as mine.
when was the last time you cried? - probably during my rewatch of âlighting up the starsâ? but actual cry was in january after 25h travel to vietnam and then all the stress got to me and I was annoyed at my family.
do you have any kids? - no, and I donât want any. Iâm slowly starting to look around for a hysterectomy now that Iâm turning 30 soon and hopefully doctors are more open to doing that procedure on 30+ years old patients.
do you use sarcasm a lot? - rarely. my brain is too slow to come up with sarcasm.
what sports do you/have you played? - currently none. I tried some but never stuck with anything. swimming, yoga, kung fu, iaido, ice skating... Iâm too tired after work to commit to any sports. I do want to look into martial arts in the future, most likely vovinam. the most I do now is playing just dance on the switch once every few weeks. also I want a VR gaming set for beat saber.
whatâs the first thing you notice about people? - idk I donât really pay attention to people lmao. wish I wouldnât notice the smell of others, I feel like my nose is too sensitive.
eye color? - brown
scary movies or happy endings? - HE! I donât really like to watch scary stuff.
any special talents? - none in particular I think?
where were you born? - Berlin
any hobbies? - karaoke, reading, translation (in theory, havenât done that in a while...)
do you have any pets? - no, never wanted any. I canât even take care of myself properly. also all the fur and poop? nah.
how tall are you? - 152 cm (4âČ11âł).
favorite subject in school? - english because it was easy.
dream job? - I do not dream of labour. as a kid I wanted to be a scientist but seeing all of them at work just writing project and grant proposals, research papers, etc. Iâm glad I didnât go in that direction. working as a lab technician is enough, though I do hate working with chemicals... another childhood dream was editor but I donât think reading for work would be fun. also Iâm not good with analysing text. if we ever get unconditional basic income Iâd be ok with any job as long as I donât have to work more than 15h per week and I donât have to get dirty.
Gonna tag a few folks this time, but no pressure! And anyone else feel free to do it too! @miss-ingnoâ @asoftspotforangelsâ @rizababeâ @mindfoggerâ @the-marronâ
Template below:
15 questions for 15 mutuals:
are you named after anyone?
when was the last time you cried?
do you have any kids?
do you use sarcasm a lot?
what sports do you/have you played?
whatâs the first thing you notice about people?
eye color?
scary movies or happy endings?
any special talents?
where were you born?
any hobbies?
do you have any pets?
how tall are you?
favorite subject in school?
dream job?
#going through my notifs and picking the 5 most recent mutuals lol#besides the ones I already know more about#also got tagged by miss-ingno for another thing which I'll do later#lunch break has been over since a while actually lmao#my posts
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remind me to never make completion estimates ever again...
#I was supposed to post this fic this morning but went to get a haircut#then had to pick up my meds then had to sit through a bunch of work meetings lmao#I am just now breaking for lunch jfc
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such a gentleman â max v.

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( masterlist | guidelines | drop a request )
PAIRINGS: max verstappen x fem!reader
SUMMARY: max' best friend breaks up with her boyfriend in spectacular fashion. maybe this is the push he needs to finally admit he's in love with her.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: i'm genuinely blown away by the kindness and support i've received from everybody so far. i was really nervous to start posting here, but you've all been incredible! i hope that you guys enjoy this one as much as i enjoyed writing it â WARNING that this smau involves references to infidelity (not max or the reader). have fun and feel free to send me requests!
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yourusername
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yourusername what better way to take my mind off things. monaco, you were a dream. next stop...?
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maxverstappen1 Thank you for being there. đ
liked by yourusername
user2 hope you're feeling better!
user3 You should totally go on holiday somewhere and just forget about him tbh
yourusername that's the plan đ
user1 ugh i hope max dropkicks him into next year
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danielricciardo my offer still stands...
yourusername you're just built different đ aus is too hot for me!!
landonorris thanks for convincing max not to order in the sushi platter
yourusername anything for my favourite papaya đ§Ą
oscarpiastri hey.
yourusername sorry osc, he's got the longevity :( give it a few months?
user4 oSC????
yourusername added to her story
yourusername
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yourusername much needed.
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user2 the second pic???
user4 omg i cant believe max and her went together sdjhfhdj
danielricciardo and here i thought aus was too hot for you??
yourusername đ«ą
user1 oh theyre in love ur honour
user7 showing the ex what he's missing fr
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landonorris without me??
yourusername next time xx
user3 the fact this means max took the first pic has me spiralling
user5 no way her ex isnt seething over this LMAO
user6 his fault for cheating imo đ€·
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yourusername
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yourusername another month, another race. glad to be back đ
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user2 no max in the likes?
user3 its over i fear
landonorris supporting the hometown boys, i hope?
yourusername count on it!
user1 and if i speak-
user4 don't.
danielricciardo was the coffee as good as he says?
yourusername even better i promise
user5 HE???
user6 surely-
maxverstappen1
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maxverstappen1 Didn't get the win this weekend, but I won something better.
tagged: yourusername
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user1 oh my god.
yourusername thank you for loving me â€ïž
maxverstappen1 Always â€ïž
user4 its so over for her ex BYE-
user3 more affection than her ex ever showed her i know that's right
user2 They're sickeningly cute I can't rn
user5 parents???
danielricciardo fucking finally
landonorris it was almost painful fr
yourusername oh shut up
oscarpiastri no no he has a point
yourusername do you want me to pay for lunch tmr or not??
oscarpiastri i'm willing to take the risk
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â°âââœàŒâŸâââ±â
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© https-papaya || do NOT rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platforms
#f1 x reader#formula 1 x reader#max verstappen x reader#f1 smau#f1 imagine#max verstappen smau#max verstappen imagine#my work!
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Forbidden Promises



Chapter 2 (Series Masterlist )
Pairing: Modernau!Sukuna x Mother!Reader
Genre: Hidden Baby Trope
Summary: Reader opens up a bakery after running away from her three year relationship with Sukuna, effectively ghosting him and hiding away in the middle of the countryside. Unknown to Sukuna, reader also had a baby, and now is living peacefully until an unfateful meeting starts to pull her back into the life she so desperately escaped from.
Tw: none for now except that Reader is a mother, called mumma/momma, Hana is five years old, Toji being a warning of his own,
Wc: 1.7k
A/n: Iâm still too lazy to make a masterlist (I lowkey have no idea how to lmao) But I only post fanfics on this account so rest assured the post before this will have chapter 1. Likes and Reblogs greatly appreciated!!!

You had never been more grateful for the barrage of office workers that always made it to your shop at 1pm daily, grateful that they were your main source of income but god was it tiring to give out twenty different kinds of bread to vulture like businessmen.
A weak smile found its way on your face as you sat your daughter on a stool behind the counter, groaning internally when Toji takes a seat down, ordering a cake you knew he wasnât going to finish.
The corporate slaves ordered in bulk, putting it on the company card as you got out the pre wrapped pieces of bread, eying jealously at the cups of caffeine in their hands, god knows you could use one with the incoming headache you were about to have.
âHave a good day Mrs.Owner!â
One day you should really correct them, you arenât married, never have been and you donât think you will be in the future either. The group leaves the cafe after another 45 minutes, precious time where you got your daughter her hello kitty pouch back and sat down to think of what excuses you would give Toji, perhaps you could just stab him⊠blame it on an unfortunate accident or something..
You were snapped out of your thoughts when the devil himself slapped a few dollar bills on the counter, grinning fakely at you as he pointed with his thumb towards the kid,
âSo whoâs the kid?â
You push Hana to hide behind your legs, but her stubbornness and outspoken behavior which once you admired was currently getting cursed out in your head. You flash a tight smile to Sukunaâs errand boy,
âGet out if youâre done eating, I donât indulge in private matters with my customers,â
Hana states up at the man, twirling a lock of her hair as she looks almost akin to bored,
âMumma is he bothering you? Should I call the police? Thatâs what we should do right!,â
She looks proud of herself for remembering such an important rule and you melt patting her head softly as you smiled,
âYes baby! Thatâs right, but heâs unfortunately not a bad man-,â
You turn to look back at Fushiguro, side eyeing him,
âYet, so why donât you run along and leave mumma to talk with the customers hmm?â
Hana nods enthusiastically, glancing one last time at the man before running away into the house,
The silence between you both stretches out for a good minute before he breaks it with a wolf whistle,
âGoddamn she looks just like him doesnât he,â
He rubs his chin with a calloused hand, resting his arms on the high counter and an inch away from leaning against the glass display,
âSit down Fushiguro, Iâll get us some tea,â
You accept what your fate has become, brewing two cups of tea and setting it down in front of the 30- something year old man,
âSo.. howâs Sukuna doing,â
Toji raises an eyebrow at you, chuckling dryly as he took a sip of the tea, you pull a chair out, sitting down with the man as lunch rush slowed down,
âIâm not sure if thatâs something you can ask about doll,â
You bite your lip, fiddling with your thumbs under the table as you sigh,
âLook- I donât want any trouble okay. Donât tell Sukuna about this- any of this. Where I live what Iâm doing- one word and Iâll just disappear, Iâve done it once and Iâm not afraid to do it again,â
You seethe out, glaring at Toji to even move a muscle,
âHuh, yeah whatever I donât really care about that- itâs just,â
You raise an eyebrow as Toji looks off to the side,
âI got a kid of my own okay, donât fucking pounce on me goddamn,â
The chair screeches under you as you get up, placing the finished cup of tea in the kitchen behind the counter,
âI expected you to get someone knocked up, just didnât expect you to go through with it,â
You laugh darkly, wiping your hands down as you finish cleaning the cups and turning back to face Fushiguro,
âDonât fucking-,â
He starts before rubbing his face exasperatedly,
âJust shut it. Iâm not gonna say anything to Sukuna, was just tryna relate or something for fucks sake. Not like me and him are all buddy buddy,â
Toji gets up from his seat, watching the school children start to fill the streets at 3pm, a few even coming into the shop and ordering bread. He watched them leave with a serene expression, the clock ticking being the only thing that served as source of sound,
âIt was good seeing you again, Iâll swing by sometime later with the kid- Megumi. Iâll come with him later,â
Toji throws a lazy wave as Hana comes out again to see you both meeting Tojiâs wave with a more excited one of her own, and he finally leaves.
Your palms slap the marble next to the sink, tension rolling out of your body in waves as you let out a sigh of relief. A soft tug to the fabric covering your knees brings you back to reality,
âMumma was that man your friend?â
You pursed your lips, grimacing at the question but trying not to show it,
âThat man was mummaâs old friend okay?,you donât need to worry much Okay?â
A scene flashed through your mind,
Sukuna had a phone pressed to his ear, still in his black button up and slacks, the first few buttons undone. City lights streamed in through the small crack in the curtains, further illuminating his figure next to the ceiling to floor windows.
âYeah no shit Toji, I expect you to deal with it before Iâm back with her,â
You stir on the bed and the six foot man is already by your side cupping your cheek. You can see the chipped black nail polish from weeks ago that he let you convince him to do,
âGo back to sleep pet, Tojis on the phone. Something came up, Iâll come back soon,â
You nodded blearily, holding his hand for a second while his gaze softened, intense ruby eyes crinkling at the corners as you succumbed back to sleep
An almost identical set of eyes stared back at you, wide with curiousity. You sighed, picking the five year old up and placing her into your arms. A glance at the clock tells you itâs just a few minutes past 4:30, your part timer should be here any second so you change out of your apron.
Fumiko was only seventeen when she started working for you, but even four years into college she still holds the same amount of respect for you. You grace her with a smile when she entered, almost routine for you as she takes her own apron as you and Hana wave to her.
You sigh as you leave from the backdoor, walking through a small porch before keying your door and entering the pathway to the living room. Hana immediately removes her shoes, changing into home slippers and you do the same, arranging the shoes neatly into the shoe rack.
Hana follows you into the bedroom, watching you change into a more comfortable set of clothes and trailing behind you into the kitchen,
âDid you like the lunch I made baby?,â
The five year old sits at a tiny desk and chair, one that you bought her when she started . She neatly arranges her chopsticks, knife, fork and spoon and the sight of it makes you want to roll your eyes. Really did your genes even try to fight in this childâs genetic makeup.
âYeah mumma! Are we having the same thing for dinner too?â
You nod, taking out the leftovers from the fridge and placing it on the counter to for a while,
âWhy donât I help you take a bath and then we can be all ready to have dinner okay?â
Hana nods her head, sheâs at the age where she wants to do everything by herself and refuses help from anyone. You smile at her while her little fingers tug at the buttons of her shirt, pulling it over her head and running to the washroom. You check in on her soon after, watching her stand in the bath and scrub clumsily at her own skin.
A chuckle escapes before you can help it and she glares at you, pouting before offering the plastic loofah to you. You kneel by the bathtub and help her, slowly getting the dirt and grime from kindergarten washed away.
Scented lotion is applied to her baby skin soon after, and you massage it slowly into her limbs.
âLetâs go have dinner okay?â
Hana smiles at you and you both enjoy dinner while she talks about her day. Sheâs put to sleep not soon after and you check up on Fumiko as sheâs cleaning up. The closed sign is up and the lights are switched off, Fumikoâs cleaning one of the tables and leaves the rest of closing up to you, muttering something about a group project as she dashes out.
A few more weeks pass by in radio silence until another figure enters your bakery, you can already feel the throbbing headache when your ex-boyfriendâs most loyal âservantâ shows up at your abode, effectively ruining what was supposed to be a calm Saturday afternoon.

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Taglist: @lady-of-blossoms @shokosbunny @after-laughter-come-tears
#sukuna x reader#jjk angst#jujutsu kaisen#modern sukuna#sukuna fluff#sukuna angst#sukuna ryomen#jjk sukuna#jjk x you#jjk fanfic#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#jjk#jjk fic#jjk men#sukuna ryoumen x reader#sukuna ryoumen x you#sukuna ryoumen fluff#sukuna ryoumen angst#hidden baby trope#anhe writes
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let me open by saying I Know How This Sounds (fem whose undergraduate chemistry professor recommended ze take turmeric to cure zyr arthritis, etc) so no hard feelings if you keep scrolling, but hopefully folks who know me know i'm speaking honestly about my experiences, even if those don't end up being the same for other people. so!
2 Tbsp of a common kitchen spice is doing as much or more to manage my ME/CFS as any of my meds or self-medicating drugs
@lakeeffectbitch outlines a way of trying this with a control in their reddit post (link); i just went directly to the one they thought might work so i'll put my experiences & the science/theory behind this under a cut for folks who want to avoid potential placebo effect :)
i'll get more specific about this in the "spoilers" but please be aware, especially folks with diabetes or other blood sugar conditions, that this substance may cause a blood sugar drop. it's less likely at this dose but probably keep a sugary snack on hand just in case
if you experience post-exertional malaise & want to try this but don't have spare money to spend on spices feel free to dm me & i'll see if i can help!
my experience:
i took 2 Tbsp ground sumac mixed with warm water on February 11. i tried taking it with a straw first because that's what my colonoscopy prep had said would make that go down easier but because the sumac particles were so big they didn't want to remain suspended & trying to get them in the straw was difficult, which then made it harder to swallow without, yknow, noticing that you're slurping down sediment
what worked better was getting the powder wet, putting a big clump of it on my tongue, then swallowing it with water like a pill
within about half an hour of taking the sumac it was like my fatigue just faded around me where i stood. it dissolved to the background & when i thought "oh i want to do this" or "i should do that" suddenly i found myself just doing it. i had spent the past week at least bedridden except for the bathroom, & though i took the sumac on a better day, i'd been planning to return to bed with a snack after taking it.
instead, i made myself lunch, and i sat on the couch to eat it. all of this was without taking an edible that day; usually i've gotta take at least 25mg delta 8 + 25mg cbd to even consider sitting on the couch. also, it was storming.
from my write-up the day of: "everything felt very sharp & clear & lucid." i washed the dishes from my lunch. all of these activities were about 2 hours, & at that point i emphatically needed a nap. waking up felt like after taking a muscle relaxer & sleeping: my muscles were more relaxed, & my whole body felt like it'd gotten a bit of a break
i've taken sumac at least 8 times since then on at least 5 different days (this time by modifying this sumac tart recipe to include a lot of sumac powder in the crust, which has been much more enjoyable than the Glass O' Sediment lmao) & adjusting for factors like weather, the effect has been comparable every time:
i watched Inception on the couch with my husband, & understood when she explained things to me
i watched leverage on the couch all day when it was below freezing
i worked a bit on fanfics i've barely been able to touch in a year
i "meal prepped" measuring spices, gathering ingredients, & soaking beans to make beans & rice in the instant pot later that day. i literally can't remember the last time i was able to use my instant pot, after thinking about it i think it was when i made palak paneer last summer, but that was a one-off special occasion thing, i've used it maybe 3 other times since developing ME
i wrote this post
the science:
okay a lot of this shit was over my head before i developed ME so i'm gonna be summarizing at my level lol, look to @lakeeffectbitch for a higher-level analysis
but what i do know! (all images from "The malic acid inhibiting inflammation in ankylosing spondylitis by interfering M1 macrophage polarization" by Ji et al., January 2025)
sumac contains high levels of malic acid, which is found in certain fruits (apples, peaches, etc)
the drugs.com page classifies malic acid as an inactive ingredient, so there are no known drug interactions
mice with ankylosing spondylitis had lower levels of peripheral malic acid than control mice

ID: bar graph showing mice with AS had about 0.03 micromoles per milliliter of peripheral malic acid, compared to the control mice level of over 0.2 micromoles per milliliter. the difference is labeled significant via asterisks. end ID
mice with higher malic acid concentrations had lower ESR and CRP (inflammation markers)

ID: two graphs showing lines with a downward slope. the top graph, ESR versus malic acid concentration, is labeled: r=-0.6802, 95% confidence interval =-0.8843 â -0.2578, p=-0.0053. the graph shows ESR, an inflammation marker, decreasing as malic acid concentration increases. the bottom graph, CRP versus malic acid concentration, is labeled: r=-0.6068, 95% confidence interval =-0.8537 â -0.1371, p=-0.0165. the graph shows CRP, an inflammation marker, decreasing as malic acid concentration increases. end ID
mice treated with malic acid had lower levels of TNF-alpha than the mice with untreated ankylosing spondylitis. humira & similar biologics that treat autoimmune diseases are TNF-alpha blockers

ID: a bar graph of relative mRNA expression of TNF-alpha. M0, the control mice, has a relative expression of 1. M1, the mice with ankylosing spondylitis that did not receive treatment, has a relative expression of slightly less than 4.5. M1+MA, the mice with ankylosing spondylitis who received the malic acid treatment, has a relative expression slightly less than 3. this indicates that the mice treated with malic acid had lower expression of TNF-alpha than the untreated mice. asterisks between M0 and M1 and between M1 and M1+MA indicate significance. end ID
the mitochondrial function of M2 macrophages in mice treated with malic acid "was significantly enhanced"
analysis of the mice's spinal tissue blew my fucking socks off. trying not to jump to conclusions & i know journal articles are full of errors but that looks potentially disease-modifying.

ID: a 5x3 presentation of samples of mouse spinal tissue. the control mice, which are healthy, have thick, undamaged, glowing tissue. the mice with ankylosing spondylitis have thin, curved, cracked-looking tissue. the mice treated with celecoxib, a common prescription NSAID for arthritis, appear very similar to the untreated mice. the mice treated with 250mg/kg of malic acid per day have tissue in between the untreated and healthy appearances; the tissue is "glowing" like the healthy tissue but still narrower and curved, although less so than the untreated tissue. the mice treated with 500mg/kg of malic acid per day have tissue which looks even closer to the healthy appearance, with less curvature than the other treatment groups. end ID
since i started drafting this post i've started taking these malic acid supplements from Nature's Life â the full dose made me feel weird including some heartburn so i cut the capsules & take roughly 2/3 â 3/4 of it at a time (i drop the rest into a spare pill jar to make more doses from). it's been similarly effective for me
please be aware that the supplement instructions say to only take it once a day, i haven't had any issues but everybody is different & this avenue is definitely under-researched! (the mice were given 250mg/kg per day which for me would be like 27 grams but i am not a mouse lol)
#myalgic encephalomyelitis#me/cfs#chronic fаtiguĐ” ŃŃndrĐŸmĐ”#chronic fatigue#post exertional malaise#pem#chronic pain#chronic illness#long covid#malic acid#sumac#mac.txt#image described
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CCG UNIVERSE - dad! Austin
notes: this is based on Mccallâs infamous Coffee Girl universe. Two years later Iâm still obsessed. Honestly she should guess this is coming. Very Dad! Austin centered but CCG is still the bestest and I love her I just want dad! Austin and had so many ideas. LOVE YOU MCCALL đ©·âŁïžđŠđ
â





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coffee.girl If youâve tried to contact me this past week, this is why I havenât been able to get back to you. đ„č
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jillian.mua âIf Daddy doesnât see it, it didnât happen.â - Luci đ
coffee.girl no, seriously. Calls him multiple times a day it warms my heart.
austinfan her contact photo being austin w baby luci KILL ME
fan12 the bath one đ âmember when austin said him and luci name all the birds and fishies together
austinbutler Hidden talent â„ïž
fan13 i seen @coffee.girl at lunch with luci and luci was âvloggingâ for austin lmao what an icon
ashleybee she can call auntie ashley whenever she wants đđ
lennykravits Beautiful relationship between father and daughter â€ïž Isnât it the best @austinbutler
entertainmenttonight You have broken the internet.
fan23 AND HE LOOKS SO HAPPY IN EVERY SINGLE CALL MY HEARTTT
austinupdates Did she make him a drawing of a heart đ

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jillian.mua Someone didnât answer the phone @austinbutler
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austinbutler Was on set. Calling back now.
coffee.girl LOL đ
bazluhrmann Sheâs going to be a movie star!
fangirl1 lmaooo baz already working on her career


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people Join the poll at the link in our bio! Who do we think Austin Butler is talking to:
1. Luci Butler
2. @coffee.girl
3. someone else (enter a name)
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fan23 PLSSSS đđđđ Luci won the poll 98% and the other two percent people said Callum đđ
fan13 lol the bromance that lives on forever
fangirl if you didnât vote for luci have u been under a rock?
austinfan convinced if it wasnât for luci austin would throw his phone away
fan43 austin and ccg are finally being a bit more open about luci pls donât ruin it by being weird everyone

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coffee.girl đ§đŒââïžđ§đŒââïžđŠđ đđŹđđŠđŠđïžđȘžđ€đ©·đđ daddy
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jillian.mua love love love when I get me some of these
oliviadejonge Luci-code đ„â€ïžâđ„
ashleybee Sweet girl, sheâs going to break his heart đ„č love you Luc!
ashleytisdale Sheâs really missing him, isnât she? Jupiterâs the same when Chris has trips.
coffee.girl Oh yeah Iâm letting her sleep on his pillow and counting down the days đą
evalongoria They get older and they understand but missing them never gets easier. My girls are the same. â€ïž Love and strength to your family.
austinbutler Hi baby â€ïžđ Thank you. Love you both.
austinbutler Calling now



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people No more tears! Our hearts are spared from any more Luci Butler missing her dad posts as Austin Butler reunites with his family in NYC today.
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fan13 honestly so happy for them poor baby luci was breaking my heart đđ
fan23 canât imagine how austin felt having to be away for work heâs such a good father and husband. â„ïž
fangirl HAPPY 4 UR BEAUTIFUL FAM đđ @coffee.girl @austinbutler

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austinbutler My girls are stylinâ â€ïž
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zendaya the coolest đ„
tchalamet i see the fit đ
fan13 wahhhh so happy they reunited !!! đ
catherinemartindesigns Beautiful ladies. đ
keoghan92 OI OI lucky fella âïž


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people Spotted in New York City: Austin Butler happily watches on as his wife keeps their daughter entertained while he films.
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ccgupdates me as a mom.
fan13 LMAO PLS thats so cute! Love you so much @coffee.girl
sophieturner Youâre an icon babe đ„
coffee.girl đ€Ł
fan23 I love that Austin looks so amused đđ


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hollywoodreporter Amidst filming on Darren Aronofskyâs film for new movie Caught Stealing, Austin Butler and @coffee.girl had to console their daughter who did not enjoy seeing her dad bruised and battered. More pics at the link in bio.
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butlerfam Luci sweetheart you are SO adorable â€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïž
fan23 i love that theyâre consoling her but so obviously amused đ
fan13 need them to adopt me like yesterday â€ïž thanks
jillian.mua This little girl owns me
ccgupdates We all know Luci donât play about her dad đ€Ł
fan41 LMAO IN HER LITTLE DINO SWEATER TOO OH LUCI đđ
ccgfan Aw how sweet lol. Hope sheâs okay! @coffee.girl
coffee.girl Haha yes thank you everyone! Took some cuddles and kisses but now sheâs in the make up chair getting some matching cuts and bruises đđ

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dailymail Austin Butler and his wife look gorgeous as they enjoy a solo date night
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user12 I donât care about celebrities but I wish this family love and happiness. They do their own thing.
fan13 Austinâs life completely changed when he did Elvis đ„č
ccgfan I believe in true love bc of them


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people Another film day, another cute moment on set. Luci Butler adorably waves to taxi her dad enters during shooting.
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fan23 hahaha if u watch the video austin waves back at her
fan13 thank you Darren for having an open set so we can see all these adorable Luci moments đ
butlerfan Sheâs going to be a star âïž
catherinemartindesigns Letâs do another film so we can have Miss Luci join us on our set. â€ïž
bazluhrmann Sheâs going to be the lead !


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dailymail Austin Butler hangs with Luci while his wife, @coffee.girl, runs some errands.
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fan23 Luci crying when Austin was carrying the bag of potatoes flashback đ


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butlerfamupdates Austin attentively watches over Luci as she plays on set â€ïžđ„č
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fan23 Heâs such a great dad. His mom would be so happy and proud.
zoekravitz Luci has stolen my heart đ đ„č I think itâs time @channingtatum
fan41 LMAO LUC MAKING HER WANT BABIES đđđ
coffee.girl She loves her Aunt Zoe â€ïž
lennykravitz The Butler family is the best. Iâm convinced Luci knows the entire animal kingdom. Smarty pants!
fan31 Luci is the only celebrity child who has celebrity as fans. Her power unmatched.




liked by ashleybee, austinsfamily, and 1398376 others
austinbutler Fulfilled.
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ashleybee Canât wait for you guys to come down so I can smooch her face off!! Love you guys â€ïž
tomhardy Love to your family mate â€ïž
florencepugh Can I come over soon please đą
zendaya Aunty Z is gonna be in NYC in two days đđ
tchalamet @coffee.girl and Luci are part of the Dune family they gotta be there! â€ïžâđ„
krisjenner Family is blessing. Love you guys.
fan12 oh no stay away from them đ
keoghan92 me and Brando on our way to see youse âïžâ€ïž
sabrinacarpenter Luci takes Short nâ Sweet MSG - sounds like a plan
coffee.girl haha sheâs OBSESSED đ€©
dualipa Love from Aunt Dua and Uncle Cal! See you guys soon! đ
butlerupdates It says so much that the Butler family garners so much love from the public and celebrities. It speaks of their humbleness, beauty, kindness, and love.
coffee.girl AUSTIN THIS ISNâT THE PHOTO WE AGREED ON!!! AGAIN!!!
â
um hi @blainesebastian blame my ovaries we talked about this
#austin butler#*made by me#masterlist#austin butler fanfiction#dad! austin#austin butler instagram edit#austin butler x reader#caught stealing#ccg#austin butler instagram#austin butler imagine#ccg ig edit
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đđđđđ đđ đđ đđ đ đąđđđ âž đđđđđđđ đđđđđđđđ



đđđđđđđ: abby anderson x f!reader đ đđđđđđđ: suggestive content, vague medical procedures, nightmares, PTSD đđđđ: fluff, making out, angst, angst x2, literal sleeping together, Owen is a good partner, reader is a good friend đđđđđđđđđđ đđđđ: no use of y/n or any reader descriptions đ đđđ đđđđđ: 10.8k
đđđđđđđą: The one where you do some shopping, Abby has another nightmare, and you have dinner with Mel.
a big huge thank you and shout out to @l-zhk for all the beautiful photomodes of the stadium you've been posting! so much of the worldbuilding is thanks to you ⥠i would be so lost without them and you!!!! đ«¶
a/n: hey!! a brief note that christmas is mentioned, and will continue to be mentioned, but i have written for reader to not celebrate it. you can make up any kind of reasoning for this, but my goal was to not discriminate against those who don't observe christmas <3
gifts will still be exchanged around the âholiday periodâ, but i think i made it clear that this is really mel's excuse to give all her friends gifts lmao
thanks!
ÌÌâ masterpost
. Ęâ âč . ĘË . Ę link to fic on ao3 . Ęâ âč . ĘË . Ę

đżđđđ đž:Â XIV
âYouâre sure no one can see us from up hereââ Abbyâs words cut off with a sharp gasp, the large hands on your hips squeezing a bit tighter.
âMmhm,â you hum against her jaw, trailing soft kisses back up to her lips. âPromise. Used to come here all the time.â
Your lips lock with her own, hands playing with the curls of hair along the nape of her neck that have slipped from her braid. Her lips are rough against yours, chapped and bitten, and you canât supress the shiver it sends down your spine.
The two of you are up in the bleachers, nestled away in your favourite spot. Well, second favourite. This one is just off from your usual lunch spot, all the way at the very top and in the corner, completely hidden by the WLF banner hanging from the railing above. Itâs dark, especially on a rainy day like today, covered by shadow on the balcony. Itâs perfect at hiding the way youâre perched on her lap, her hands kneading along the fat of your hips, kissing like a couple of teenagers.
Youâd come up here to have lunch, having snuck away from the noise of the caf during your hour-long break. It was peaceful, eating your food to the ambient sounds of the stadium, watching the rain fall heavy on the ground below. It was just what you needed.
Itâd been going on three days since Abby had left for assignment, and you were beginning to feel it. The two of you had gone lengths of time longer than this without seeing each other, but that was before you knew that Abby loved you, and so your anxiety around the whole thing has gotten a little bit worse.
You trusted her to take care of herself, trusted her strength and her skills to bring her home to youâ but things happen. You know that firsthand.
Youâd been tempted to go talk to someone on comms, see if they had any word on the status of her unit, but ultimately decided against it. She was fine. You were going to be fine.
You were just about done with your food when you heard the heavy footfall of boots on the concrete steps. Your eyes met cool blue ones when you looked up, Abby drinking in the sight of you as she climbed the last few steps towards you.
She was home, and by the look of itâwrinkled clothes spattered with heavy drops of rain, muddy boots and pant legs, the butterfly bandage on her foreheadâsheâd come to see you as soon as she could.
âBring many girls up here?â She asks teasingly, lips dragging over your own as she pulls back, eyebrow cocked.
Heat creeps up your neck as you stumble over your words, caught off guard by her question. âIâI mean, a few.â
âHuh. Here I thought I was special,â she sighs, just a little bit dramatically, casting her gaze off to the side.
You huff, bringing a hand up to her cheek to guide her face back to yours, pinching the skin between your fingers. âYou are special, idiot.â You let go, patting her cheek gently. âI love you, funnily enough.â
Abbyâs lips twitch, curling up at the edges. âYeah? More thanâŠâ The look on her face is expectant, waiting for you to fill in the blank.
âAny of them.â
âNot gonna give me any names?â She pulls you closer, shifting you on her lap. âAnd donât say Isabella, because I think everyone knows about that one.â
You groan, slumping forward to bump your forehead onto her shoulder. Her shirt is still damp from the rain, the lingering scent of her cologne hidden underneath the smell of wet earth and gunpowder.
âKatie.â
Sheâs silent for a moment, flipping through her mental rolodex for every single Katie, Kate, and Katherine she knows. âKatie⊠Katie from Laundry?â
You nod, just the once. âIt lasted like, two days before she said she felt like I was taking things âtoo seriouslyâ, then she and Melissa made it official a week later.â
Abby laughs, a lovely rumbling sound that has you clinging onto her just a bit tighter. âOh my god. Is that why you do your own washing?â
âNo,â you say, far too quickly. â⊠I mean at firstââ
That sends her laughing once more as she wraps her arms around your back, holding you flush against her chest. You squirm in her grip, pulling back to look down at her, unamused. âAre you having fun laughing at my girl problems?â
Her laughter dies down into a warm chuckle as she presses in to nose along your cheek, the sound vibrating against the skin. âThanks to your girl problems, I have you sitting all pretty in my lap right now. I think I can find them a little bit funny.â
Her warm breath puffs across your skin, sending another wave of shivers rolling down your back. âYeah?â You ask, a little breathless.
âMmhm,â she hums, placing a kiss to the heated skin of your cheek. She trails them down across your face, eyes briefly catching yours before finally kissing you properly.
Youâve missed her. Badly. Missed the feeling of her lips on yours, the way her hands always seem to find their way home on your hips. Youâve missed how she melts under you, how quickly she can go from teasing and ribbing to soft and gentle. Â
Under normal circumstances, youâre certain youâd have more self-control than you do in this moment-- but having Abby leave you just two days after your whispered confessions on the couch has made you just a bit more needy for her attention than usual.
So, you keep kissing her, and she keeps kissing you, arms tangled around each other, your thighs on either side of her hips. Your hands slide across the back of her shoulders, trailing down her biceps until you reach her waist. She follows in kind, large hands caressing up and down your sides, along your back. She slides a hand into the back pocket of your pants and keeps it there, giving a playful squeeze that makes you gasp into her mouth. Abby uses this to her advantage, swiping her tongue against yours and grinning at the noise that leaves you.
The kiss deepens a fraction, and you inch your hands up her sides, thumbs just barely brushing the undersides of her breasts. Her soft grunt pulls you through the other side of the lust ridden fog clouding your mind, and you reluctantly pull away. Youâre both left panting into each otherâs mouths, lips grazing as you catch your breath.
You blink at her, watching her pupils shift as she looks up from your swollen lips. You just know that you have the same look in your eyes that you find in Abbyâs-- slightly hooded, dark, a little bit desperate. You swallow thickly, removing your hands from her torso to place them on her shoulders, giving them an awkward pat.
âOkay,â you breathe, clearing your throat. âAlright. ThisâLetâs put a pin in this.â
Abby snorts, a lazy smile curling her lips. âYou donât wanna stay up here with me?â She whispers as she leans back in, capturing your lips once more.
You hum, almost a moan, and let yourself melt into her, though you pull away before she can make it too deep. âYou know I want to. But I have work, and you need to rest.â
She sighs, pressing a lingering kiss to your cheek. âOkay.â
âGood.â You chuckle softly, pulling back to look at her. Your eyes roam her face, and you bring a hand up to gently brush against her forehead, just under the butterfly bandage. âYouâre sure youâre okay?â
Abby reaches up for your hand, pulling it away from her forehead and clasping it in her own. âPositive.â She draws your hand to her lips, kissing along your knuckles. âI love you.â
Your heart beats wildly in your chest, face flushing at those three simple words. You grin, turning your hand over so you can press your own kiss to the back of her hand in return.
âI love you, too.â
âž
âYouâll want to avoid getting the area wet for a couple of days, so maybe stick to sponge baths for a bit until you get the all clear from us.â You look up at the girl on the cot, smiling softly as you scribble your signature on the bottom of the document. Sheâs no more than sixteen, face still round with baby fat.
She grimaces, a pout coming to her lips as she inspects her arm, a piece of gauze covering the long line of sutures clipped neatly along her forearm. âWhat if I just⊠stick my arm out of the shower the whole time?â
You canât help the laugh that leaves you, eyes softening at the small break in her sour expression. âTrust me, that never works. Youâll realise your mistake halfway through washing your hair and then itâll be a soggy trip back up here.â You tear off a slip from the bottom of the page, clipping it to the top of the chart and tucking your pen in your pocket. âIâll grab you some pain meds and then youâll be good to go.â
She sighs and lets herself fall back onto the cot as you head into the back room, rummaging around to grab what you need from the medicine cabinets, portioning out some of the medication in a small bottle for her to take home. You write all of her patient information on a small slip, using the underside to write out the medication directions. You tape it just along the top to the front of the bottle, and bring it back into the main room.
She barely listens to the usual spiel, how many pills she can take and when. Sheâs too keen to get out of there, reaching out for the bottle when you hold it between you so that she can leave.
You pull it back at the last second. âYou get all that?â
âTake two every four hours.â
âAs needed,â you remind her, still keeping the bottle back. âAnd no more thanâŠ?â
âNo more than seven a day.â
You sigh. âEight, but close enough.â You go to pass her the bottle, but pull it back once more. Her big eyes track the movement. âYou come back as soon as it starts to feel weird or look funny, okay? Infection is super serious.â
She nods, fingers twitching in her lap. âYes maâam.â She reaches out again, but you donât give in.
âAnd next time you wanna sneak out, donât try to climb the walls.â You lower your voice, stage whispering to her conspiratorially, âMaking friends with the guard patrol will get you a long way.â
You wink, finally pushing the meds towards her.
She blinks, grins in understanding-- the gap between her bottom two teeth stark against the pink stain from when she had bitten her tongue when she fell-- then takes the bottle from you, shoving it in her pocket. âThank you, maâam.â
She hops off the bed, giving you a small salute, clicking her heels together as sheâd probably just been trained to, before taking off out of the tent.
âSurely youâre not giving advice on how to sneak out to the newbies.â
You scoff, turning around to face Mel, still bundled up in her coat from outside, a few flecks of snow melting along her shoulders, short hair slick with rain. âLike you can talk,â you tease, moving past her to walk out to the back room. Mel follows, the water-proof fabric of her coat shuffling as she moves. âSheâd never listen if I told her to not sneak out. Iâd much rather her know how to do it safely than end up here again.â
âThatâs true. I was jumping over rooftops sometimes to get out of base.â
âMy point exactly,â you laugh, turning to stand just out of the doorway, sweeping your arm to let her in. âAfter you.â
âThank you, kind sir,â Mel nods, the two of you giggling as she passes.
The large tote that she carries over her shoulder, a plain canvas that bulges at the sides grabs your attention as she unhooks it from her shoulder. She letâs out small breath, almost of relief as she sets the bag down, rolling her shoulder in its socket now that the weight has been taken off of it.
âThe hell is that? Your duffel break or something?â
Mel looks up for a moment, notices your eyes trained on the tote, and shoves the bag into one of the containers sheâd pulled from under the counter, using her back to block your sight.
âNo peaking. I just finished up the last of my holiday shopping.â
You blink at her, watching her lose half her size as she shrugs off the large coat from her frame. âWhatâs the date today?â
âThe fifteenth, why?â She kicks the tub back under the bench, the arm of her coat flopping over the side.
âShitâNo way are we that far into December already.â
Mel laughs, straightening out her henley and wicking some of the water from her hair. âWe literally have a calendar in the room.â
âI know,â you grunt, rubbing at your eyes. âI just got distracted. I was going to be so on top of your gift this year.â
âYou donât have to get me anything,â Mel says, turning back to look at you. âI know you donât celebrate Christmas.â
âYeah, but I celebrate âMelâs excuse to give her friends presentsâ month.â You wave her off, moving to put the patient file away. âI swore after last year that I was going to get you something like, three months in advance so I donât have a repeat of last year.â
âI like my mug!â
âYeah, well somehow a mug that says âI have specs appealâ doesnât compare to the beautiful blanket you got me. You donât even wear glasses.â
âWhich is what makes the mug so funny.â She leans against the counter, watching you move through the room. âItâs seriously no big deal. I donât get you things so that you have to get me something in return. I get them because I love you.â
âI know, but I love you too. I might try and head down to the market this afternoon. You want me to pick up dinner on the way back?â
Mel hums in thought, turning away to wash her hands, lathering them in the scentless soap. âI think theyâre doing a roast tonight. Grab us some?â
âDone.â You smile, filing the chart away and putting your clipboard under your arm.
You do end up making it down to the market, having a couple of hours before the sun sets and it gets too dark for the stall holders to be able to sell.
Pulling out the crumpled piece of paper in your coat pocket, you squint at the barely legible writing youâd scrawled between the lines, small notes on each person you wanted to buy for that youâd written throughout the day.
It had started with ideas for Mel, things you know she likes or would find useful. You then obviously had to add Abby, because any excuse to buy your girlfriend something nice youâll take up in a heartbeat. And you guessed that while youâre here, it wouldnât hurt to look for something for Nora-- youâd been meaning to get her something to say thank you after your evaluation. Manny and Owen have also been really good to you this past year, so something small for them would be nice tooâŠ
Soon your scrap of paper was full, and your plan to pop down for half an hour tops had you roaming around for the rest of the afternoon, talking to all of the vendors and rummaging through their wares.
It was nice, taking the time to come down here. You find that a lot of your free time now is taken up with either catching up on sleep or being with Abby, so you donât roam around as much as you used to. Youâre also a lot stronger than you were a few months ago, being able to more confidently handle all the standing and walking around that comes with browsing the market, especially after a whole day at work. It was a good day today, so hopefully your leg will only be a little cramped on the way home.
Switching over to being a medic had also filled your wallet a bit more, bringing home a couple more rations each week than you used to as a soldier.
You were honestly a little bit surprised when you first arrived that the WLF used a rations system, though you were quick to find out that it was entirely different to the one you were used to in the FEDRA run QZs.
Back in Denver, your parents had to work to earn rations so that the three of you could eat. FEDRA was meant to just distribute them amongst the population, an allocated amount per person, per week-- but that quickly went out the window after a few years. Now it was all dependant on what you could provide for the city. You were lucky enough that your parents had a small stash saved in case of an emergency, giving you some time after they died where you didnât have to worry about working. You stretched them out as much as you could, and by the time they ran out, you decided to leave.
The WLF have two types of rations; actual ration stamps that get allocated to each person every week, and the ârationâ tickets you got through employment.
You lived in abundance here on base, and while everyoneâ regardless of their ability to work or âprovide for the communityââ gets allocated a liveable amount of food, those who do have the means to work get a bonus.
Itâs a system that mimics the currency of the old world, and works much better in being considered a form of reward than in the QZs, where people were using their only source of food to trade for literally anything else they might need. The amount you earned each week was job dependant, and gave you a means to indulge.
A lot of the soldiers use theirs to bulk up, eating bigger portions or second helpings outside of their weekly amount. Thatâs what Abby uses a lot of hers on, as well as buying ingredients to take home to cook more concentrated meals, things much higher in protein than what you can usually get in the cafeteria.
Pretty much everyone else uses them down at the marketâa long curving line of stalls in the old train yard that sells everything from homemade shampoo and conditioner to books and electronics.
These stalls are mostly run by those unable to work for one reason or another, usually due to age or ailment, so their extra income comes from what they sell. They put most of their profits back into getting new stock, sending soldiers on patrol off with a list and a band of tickets as payment, but they earn it all back by the next time they set up.
Thatâs not to say that bartering isnât alive and well because it very much was, especially in the market. Those who have jobs that take them off base are the ones who barter the most, bringing things down to the market in hopes of a trade. Sometimes youâd even get better deals through bartering than the handover of rations, and it was a quick way to liken yourself to particular merchants.
You spend the rest of the afternoon wandering around the market, collecting bits and pieces and making conversation with all the different merchants; asking about their stock and whether they have the specific things youâre looking for. You end up doing pretty well for yourself, finding a lot of what you had set out to find, and being able to politely request that they keep an eye out for the things you couldnât get your hands on just yet.
Paying full price had surprisingly been more of a struggle than you had anticipated. Nearly everyone recognised you as one of the medics, some of the stallholders being past patients of yours, or having loved ones youâd treated instead. It was a fight with some of them, trying to hand over the full amount of tickets only to get your hands pushed back towards you, an endless cycle of âNo really, Iâm sureââ âNo, no, I insistââ, until one of you ultimately gave in (it was almost always you).
By the end of the day, when the floodlights around the edges of the stadium turn on with an echoing fwump, you had a bag that felt just as heavy as Melâs had looked thrown over your shoulder. Everything had been bundled carefully inside, the more delicate items wrapped in scrap pieces of fabric or crumpled newspaper.
You definitely didnât account for the weight of your bag plus the dinner you had to pick up on your way home when thinking about the strain on your leg by the end of the day, but you found that you didnât mind the ache when you were feeling so much love and tender care for your friends.
âž
âHere.â
You barely catch the bundled shirt thrown to you from the steps, the pilled fabric surprisingly soft in your hands. You pinch it at the shoulders, shaking out the tee to look at the design on the front.
âAbs, this is your shirt.â
âAnd?â Abby asks from a few feet away, holding onto the railing as she leans over, snatching her discarded sweats from the floor, where sheâd dropped them over an hour ago.
âI actually brought my own pyjamas this time.â
She looks to you past the strands of hair that have fallen in her face as she bends at the waist, dragging the fabric of her sweats up her naked calves. âAnd?â
The effect of your eyeroll is dampened by the way your lips twitch up in a fond smile, one that you try to hide by tugging the sleep shirt over your head, the faded print of a sports mascot falling across and covering your bare chest.
Itâd been a few days since Abby came home from assignment, and you both finally had a free evening to spend together. It was meant to just be dinner and a movie, knowing that you had an incredibly early shift the next morning and there was going to be no way youâd get a full nightâs sleep if you stayed over. But that all went out the window when Abby hooked her chin over your shoulder about halfway through the movie, strong arms wrapped around you from behind as you sat in her lap in the beanbag, pressing her cheek to your own as she asked if you were really sure you couldnât stay tonight.
She sounded tiredâand when you turned to look at her, brushing your fingers along her jaw, you saw that she looked just as exhausted as she sounded. The bags under her eyes were giveaway enough, but it was the look behind them, the dull look of someone who hasnât had a proper nightâs sleep in days that made you agree without a momentâs hesitation.
And you were just going to go to bed. Youâd even gone home real quick, grabbing a pack with everything youâd need for the next day, including your own pyjamas. Work has had you on your feet all week, and you were feeling the farthest thing from sexy⊠but then you were getting ready for bed and got caught staring at Abbyâs naked back and that was that.
You let Abby strip you down to your underwear, knowing that the feeling of your skin pressing hot against hers was one of her favourite things in the world, but thatâs as far as you went. You wanted to focus on her tonight, to take your time making her fall apart, commit every touch and sound to memory.
And you did. What started as a slow make out and grind in her bed ended with her bent nearly halfway over the stair railing, your chest pressing along her back as you pumped into her from behind.
Abby shuffles over to the bed, sweats slung low along her hips, noticeably shirtless. She gestures for you to scooch over as she lifts the covers, pressing a knee to the mattress as she begins to slide in next to you.
âWhereâs your shirt?â You ask, dragging your eyes away from her swollen and love-bitten chest.
She shrugs, reaching over to turn off the lamp with a click. âYouâre wearing it.â
âBabe, itâs freezing tonight,â you say, tone laced with your disapproval. âPut a shirt on.â
âGuess youâll just have to cuddle up to me tonight, then.â Abby shifts onto her side, wrapping her arms around your middle as she slides up next to you. âKeep me warm.â
With a frustrated huff you give in, shuffling yourself to lay down properly next to her. âYou donât have to be shirtless for me to cuddle you. You can just ask for it.â
She hums, pulling you closer to place a kiss to your cheek, hot breath puffing along your skin. âBut I like it-- feeling your hands on my back. Shirt just gets in the way.â
âYouâre lucky youâre sweet,â you murmur, leaning in to capture her lips.
Abby sighs into the kiss, soft and relaxed, slow compared to the pace from earlier. Arms slip around her body, hands sliding up and across the expanse of her back just like she wanted. She melts against you, the tension evaporating under your hands. Her own rumple your sleep shirt, tugging you closer.
Her lips shift from yours, pressing them to the corner of your mouth, then your cheek, then slowly up to your forehead. Theyâre so warm and soft, and you canât help but nuzzle up against her, trailing your blunt nails lightly over her back.
âI like you like this.â
âLike what?â she murmurs, lips pressing against the bridge of your nose, then down across your other cheek to your jaw.
âThis. You get all⊠smoochy sometimes.â
Abby huffs a sharp breath from her nose, pulling back to look at you. âIâm notâI donât get smoochy.â
You canât help the sound that leaves you, the short laugh as you raise your eyebrow. âYeah? Then what was all that?â
A blush darkens her face, and she winds a hand up to the back of your head to pull you against her neck. âShut up. Dogs get smoochyâI donât.â
âHm,â you hum, pressing your lips to the column of her throat. âYou sure were begging like one earlierâhey!â You yelp at a sharp pinch to your ass, squirming as a fit of giggles leaves you, trying to wriggle away from the fingers that dance along your sides. ââAbby!â
Abby rolls the two of you over, throwing a leg over your hip to straddle you. The blanket falls around her hips as she pins you down, halting her assault. âYou were saying?â
Your breaths leave you in a light pant as you look up at her, residual giggles still tumbling from your lips. Her eyebrow arches, fingers flexing as she waits for your response.
Sheâs beautiful, hair falling over her back, strands of it brushing her face. Sheâs been leaving her hair out more and more around you, and it takes your breath away each time.
âI love you?â
She grunts, giving a roll of her eyes as she slumps forwards, deciding that either that was as good as she was going to get, or she was too tired to fight for something betterâor both. She gives you a quick peck before she settles down atop of you, sliding her legs between your own, resting her cheek against the swell of your chest.
âI love you, too.â
Reaching down for the blanket, you pull it back up over yourselves, tucking it gently around her shoulders. Your hands slip underneath to run up and down the length of her back, fingertips brushing along the bumps of her spine, lightly massaging along her muscles. She sighs and buries herself further into your chest, breathes evening out as she relaxes.
âThank you for dinner,â you say quietly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
âSâall good, honey,â she mumbles, her exhaustion quickly catching up to her. âThank you for after dinner.â
You canât help the laugh that leaves you, chest shaking as you try to keep the volume down. Abby grins sleepily against your chest.
âOf course, baby. Anytime.â You press one more kiss to the top of her head, squeezing her gently. âGet some sleep.â
âOkay,â she says, voice muffled against your chest, shifting slightly before melting all the way in.
You lay with her curled on top of you for what feels like an hour, but is mostly likely only a couple of minutes, focusing on the way Abbyâs breaths deepen. Youâre so sure that sheâs asleep, that you barely catch her soft and muffled voice.
âYouâll be here in the morning, right?â
Your hands still on her back for just a moment as you blink into the dark, staring up at the top of the bunk. âWhere else would I be?â
She doesnât say anything, just lays there and breathes. Her reply comes a minute later.
âI donât know.â
You frown, looking down at her to try and make out her form in the dark. Her lashes that touch the tops of her cheeks, mouth slightly open as her face squishes against your chest.
âIâll be here. I promise. Iâll be the first thing you see when you wake up.â
A slow breath out, almost in relief. âGood.â
It doesnât take her long to fall asleep, having tired her out before bed. You spend that time stroking her back, pressing soothing kisses along her scalp. When youâre certain sheâs asleep, deep enough that sheâs not going to wake up any time soon, you let yourself slowly drift off too.
âFuckâI canât⊠WhyâŠ?â
You take a deep breath in as you wake up, head still clouded with sleep, eyes slowly blinking into the dark of the room. It feels like youâve barely slept, like you were awake only a few seconds earlier.
ââIâm sorry, Iâm so sorry⊠fuckingâ godâ"
Youâve shifted in your sleep, back facing the room as you lay on your side. The blanket has shuffled around as you have, and your borrowed shirt is pulled tight along your back, the material bunched in the tight fists of Abby.
Abby who is curled up against your chest, the hot tears that stream down her face soaking into the fabric of your shirt, material clinging to your chest. Her back shudders as she gasps, her mutters broken up with cries that wrack through her body.
Your brain finally catches up, and you look down at the woman, the love of your life, so small against you as she cries.
âAbby?â your voice cracks, clogged from sleep and worry.
She stills for a moment as she holds her breath, trying to stop the shakes of her body, almost as if she were hoping youâd think she was asleep and give up, falling back asleep yourself.
âBaby,â you murmur, slowly moving yourself to wrap around her when youâre sure sheâs awake. âWhatâs wrong?
She grips onto you tighter, lips clamped shut as she breathes sharply and deeply through her nose, muffling her sounds.
âMâfine,â she grits out, voice hoarse. She swallows back her emotions, throat clicking as she presses her forehead against your sternum. âGo back to sleep.â
This does nothing but wake you up more, and you rise up on your elbows to look at her properly, heart tearing in two at the soft sound of protest as you move. You shield her from the rest of the room, a hand coming up to the back of her head to run through the strands that she left untied.
âAbbyââ
âI canâtâ Just-- please⊠go back to sleep.â She sounds exhausted, voice strained yet dull, like she doesnât have any emotion left to force into her tone.
âNot while youâre hurting, Abs,â you whisper, pressing down to kiss her forehead, slightly damp with sweat. âIâm not going to abandon you.â
She breathes out in a soft wheeze, like sheâs been punched in the gut. You hear her swallow thickly, clenching and unclenching her fists in the stretched fabric of your shirt. Sheâs tense, unbelievable so, and you can still feel a small tremor in her muscles.
Sheâs silent for a long whileâyou both are. She lays there, breathing deep and shakily against your chest, hot breaths warming your skin. You massage along her scalp, pressing soothing kisses across the side of her face, nosing along her cheek as you let her breathe, moving your legs to tangle with hers.
Itâs familiar, as much as you hate that fact. It feels like Abbyâs ability to sleep keeps getting worse and worse, and her willingness to let you help has been impacted just as much-- and thatâs only when youâre around. Who knows how bad it gets when youâre not there, or when sheâs not even home.
âI canât sleep. I keepâI keep seeing him,â she whispers, hands unclenching to press against your chest, sliding down to hold onto your hips. She finds the hem of your shirt, smoothing under and up, fingers gripping and pulling gently at the bare skin of your back, desperate and seeking. It doesnât send the usual tingle down your spine; it doesnât flip your stomach. This is a touch to keep her grounded, to keep her sane.
âWho?â You ask softly, delicately, murmuring into her hair. You brush some out of her face, off the damp surface of her forehead and temples. âYour dad?â
An almost imperceptible shake of her head. âNotâNot dad.â
The repeated question of who is forced back, clamped behind your lips. You let her take her time, not wanting to make her feel rushed or like youâre trying to force an answer out of her. Supporting Abby in these moments is like a dance, a slow, complicated thing that you have to let her take the lead of.
She pulls herself away, extricates herself from your limbs. You look at her properly for the first time, see the way this has aged her, the haunted look in her eyes, her skin pale and clammy. You reach out for her, hands following her movements.
âAbsâŠâ you call out softly, rising with her. She looks to you, a brief flick of her eyes.
âIâm notâIâm not leaving.â She says, shuffling to the edge of the bed. You draw yourself up, moving to give her space.
She throws her legs off the side of the bed, bunching her fists into the edge of the mattress, head hanging so that her chin almost touches her still bare chest. Her skin is freckled and tanned along her shoulders, hair slipping down the length of her torso and hiding her face.
You shuffle up behind her, blanket laying forgotten on the mattress. Your arms slip gently around her middle, coming up to press against her chest. One of your hands lays over her heart, feeling the uneven thrum of it thunder beneath your palm.
You kiss between her shoulder blades, resting your forehead in itâs place.
Her breath stutters, hands still gripping the mattress.
âI canât sleep. I close my eyes and heâs justâheâs there. But itâs not him because I donât know what he looks like, so my brain just⊠I donât fucking know.â Her chest rises and falls just a bit faster, breathes coming out sharply from her nose. âHeâs just this⊠thing. This fucking monster and I canât get him out of my fucking head.â
You wet your lips, voice small when you ask once more, âWho?â
âJoel.â Her voice is firmâstronger than youâve heard it all night. âHis name is Joel Miller.â
You donât know what you expected when you heard his name. A wave of cold? Goosebumps? Shivers down your spine? But his name is so⊠normal. So generic. Nothing evil, or scary, or monstrous.
âHeââ She pauses, and you press closer along her back, placing a few more kisses along the line of her shoulders, up to the back of your neck where you bury yourself.
âI didnât see it. TheyâI donât know who, but they shoved me in a room. Everyone was yelling. People were screaming. There wasââ the mattress shakes when she starts bouncing her leg, an anxious tick. âThere was so much gunfire. I could hear it move through the building.â She sounds hollow, like sheâs reciting lines from a script.
âAbby, you donât have toââ
âLet me justââ She starts, tone a bit too sharp, which she recognises with a wince. She sighs, slumps into herself somewhat. One of her hands lets go of the mattress, coming up to wrap around your forearm. âIâve kept it from you. You deserve to know.â
Moving your hand down to clasp at her own, you pull it up to your mouth, kissing the knuckles tenderly. âIf youâre sure. I trust you.â
You use your other arm to squeeze her gently, holding her with a reassuring pressure to your chest. You canât see her face, but you can feel the way she lets some of her weight rest against you, allowing you to help prop her up.
She keeps going.
âI donât know how long I was hiding, but the alarm started going off and I needed to know. I needed to find my dad.â She breathes, takes a second. âAnd when I didââ Her voice cracks, and so does her fragile and gossamer-thin maskâher shoulders shaking as her emotions choke her once more.
âHey,â you whisper, squeezing her hand. âItâs okay. You can skip this part.â You kiss her cheek, shifting yourself to bring a hand up, wiping away the stray tear that connects with your lips. âI love you.â
She nods, throat working as she sniffles, tilting her head back to stare at the ceiling, looking up to try and stop herself from crying. Her jaw works, teeth grinding as she tries so hard to shove everything down.
âHe killed him. He killed him and then fucking ran.â The back of Abbyâs head falls to rest on your shoulder. âWe had to bury so many⊠It took us a week. So many people dead. He made so many of us orphans, while heâs out there somewhere⊠Probably with his family.
âWhy does he get to have his when he took away mine? Ours?â
She sniffs, just the once, letting even more of her weight drop back against your chest. Your hand, the one wiping away the streaks of tears from her cheeks, rests gently against her jaw, thumb smoothing over the skin.
âI have to find him.â
It feels like your gut flips, a wave of nausea rolling over you. It sends something cold slithering down your spine, the same cold that you hear bleeding through her words.
âWhere would you look?â
âAnywhere. Everywhere. I haveââ she pauses, like she doesnât know if she should be saying this. âI have some leads. Theyâre not much, but I have to see them through.â
It hangs there, lingers in the air between you, in the dark of the room. Your chin digs into her shoulder, your eyes staring out into the room.
âWhat are you going to do to him? When you find him?â
Sheâs silent. You give her time, wait for a response.
She doesnât say anything.
âAbby?â
You turn to look at her, watch the way her throat bobs as she swallows, face blank, eyes staring lost at the top of the bunk.
âWhat I need to,â she whispers, in a voice unrecognisable to you.
Is this the Abby that Owen talked about? The one Mel sees? A version of her that is consumed by this nightmare-- her nightmare-- with only one possible way to free herself from it?
âWhat if heâs already dead?â
It slips from you without meaning, before you can stop it. She stills against you, breath stuttering to a stop in her chest as she holds it.
âHe wonât be.â
âHow can youââ
âHe wonât,â she snaps, refusing to look at you. âHe canât. He justâHe just canât be.â
You find yourself nodding, backing down, letting her have this. âOkay. He wonât be.â
You both sit there for a while longer, listening to the sounds of each others breath. You ignore your leg when it starts to ache, waiting for her to move first. You donât want to pull away until sheâs ready, until she wants you to. You donât know how much she needs, how much she wants from you right now, so you let her take until she doesnât need anymore.
It feels like close to a half hour before Abby slips herself from your hands, moving to rise from the bed.
âWhere are you going?â
She steps away from you, and you just watch as she walks the small distance to the dresser, pulling out a shirt at random and shoving it over her head.
âI need some air. I thinkâIâm gonna go for a run. Or a shower. Or both.â
You swing your legs over the side, moving to stand too. âLet me come with you.â
When Abby turns to look at you, thereâs something behind her eyes, something conflicting and fighting-- like a war. She comes back over to you, gently grabbing your upper arms as you rise to stand, sitting you back down.
âStay,â she says, flicking her eyes away then back to yours. âI⊠I want to be alone.â
Your gut flips once more, the nausea getting worse. You frown, looking at her and searching her eyes. She holds yours, though her brows twitch to furrow and her jaw works as she grinds her teeth again.
âYou know Iâm here for you, right?â you whisper, bringing your hands up to cup her face between them. âIf you really, truly want to be alone, Iâll give that to you. But I just need to know that you understand that Iâm here. Whenever you need me.â
Her expression shifts, something softer and sadder as she looks down at you, but still terribly guarded. She nods, just the once, leaning down to press her forehead against your own. âI know.â
âOkay,â you say back, soft in the space between you. âI love you, Abby. So much.â
She swallows, voice thick as she responds, âI love you too.â
She kisses you, and you can tell just from that one touch that she means it. She means it with her entire sad and grieving heart, despite how much itâs hurting.
You just hope she can tell how much you mean it, too.
âž
It shouldnât have surprised you that Abby became a lot more difficult to find after that night. She did the same thing the first time, hardly ever being home, off occupying herself with anything and everything she can.
The only difference was that last time you could at least find her. Abby Anderson is a creature of habit, and if you had the time to check her usual spots you would no doubt find her. But this time, she was always just⊠somewhere else. Youâd only managed to see her twice over the next few days, but it wasnât for very long, and you couldnât help but feel like she was distracted the entire time.
You give in after your second interaction with her and try to find Manny, hoping that if anyone knew how she was really doing that it would be himâbut somehow, he was just as scarce.
You resign yourself to just letting her come to you when sheâs ready, trusting that she would. She must have felt too vulnerable, the wounds too open and fresh and needed some time to heal, lick them clean and piece the dignity she feels like sheâs lost back together.
As it always happened, Owen finds you during this time.
The mess hall is loud around you; utensils scraping against plates, groups of people chattering and laughing over their food, the occasional mechanical whirr and hiss of kitchen appliances going off.
You sit alone at your usual table, somewhat slumped against the bulletin wall as you poke with your fork at the sole meatball left on top of your pasta. The copy of Lord of the Flies that you bought at the market is open next to your bowl, a pen nestled in the crook of the spine between the pages. You were slowly but gradually annotating it, but youâve been staring down at page seventy-six for about ten minutes now and havenât taken in a single detail.
Youâre too busy worrying about Abby.
The thump of someone resting their elbows on the table across from you startles you from your thoughts, fork piercing through the meatball and slicing it in two. You look up, blinking dumbly at the man before you.
âOwen, hey.â
The polite smile you give him twitches the longer you look him over, shifting into a small frown.
âHey,â he says, trying his hardest to smile back. He looks run downâ his hair thatâs usually a bit messy looks like heâs been tugging at it thoughtlessly, the beard that Mel tries to make him keep neatly trimmed a bit more scraggly than normal. His clothes are rumpled-- shirt creased, and the collar of his army jacket rolled awkwardly under itself.
âYou okay? You close up your book, pushing it and your bowl off to the side. âYou lookâŠâ
âHandsome? Dashing? Amazing as per usual?â He jokes, scratching at his beard. His eyes lighten up a fraction, but theyâre nowhere near as bright as they should be.
You huff a laugh, shifting in your seat. âI was going to say you look exhausted, but that works too, I guess.â Heâs quiet, makes a point of looking away. âWhatâs wrong, Owen?â
âDoes something have to be wrong?â
You stare at him, face blank except for the single eyebrow that you raise, just enough to be effective. Youâve nearly perfected the look Mel gives you when she wants you to stop bullshitting, and you know that if anything is going to get Owen to talk, itâll be this.
âOwen.â
He sighs, looking back to youâyou can tell heâs looking at your forehead and not your eyes, which is better than nothing you suppose-- and drums his fingers on the table in front of you.
The eyebrow things works wonders.
âHave you⊠Howâs Mel been?â
âMel?â You straighten up in your seat, heartrate picking up minutely.
âShort brown hair, about this tallââ He holds up a hand, roughly Mel height, ââ very beautiful, lives with you?â
âHa ha,â you say monotonously, leaning forward against the table, crossing your arms over the surface. âSheâs been⊠fine, I guess? Busy at work when I see her, and sheâs been staying at yours this week, so I havenât really had time to sit down and have a proper chat⊠Why? Is she okay?â
Owen slumps a bit, offering a shrug. âI donât know. Youâd think I would, but I donât.â
You lean in closer, trying to find a balance of absolutely needing more information and reassuring. âWhatâs going on?â
âSheâs just⊠off?â He runs an anxious hand through his hair, tugging slightly at the strands. âShe seems like sheâs stressed about something, but she wonât tell me what. Just says itâs work and not to worry.â
âWork has been really busy, lately⊠Are you sure itâs really not just that?â
He immediately shakes his head. âNo. Somethingâs up.â He finally looks at you, a pleading but embarrassed look in his eyes.
You clock it immediately. âOwenâŠâ
âJust talk to her for me? Please? What if itâs something Iâm doing, and she wonât tell me?â
âI canât force her to tell me whatâs wrong,â you say, frowning at him.
âIâm not asking you to force it out of her. I donât even want to know what she tells you, I just want to make sure sheâs okay. And if she doesnât feel comfortable enough to tell me, then Iâm hoping she can find comfort in you. She shouldnât have to be upset by herself.â
You blink at him, looking into his eyes, pleading and desperate and sad. Itâs honestly kind of sweet, how concerned he is for her.
You let out a deep, resigned breath and give in.
âIâll talk to her. But I cant promise sheâll want to tell me anything, and Iâm not going to tell you whatever she tells me, okay? Unless I think sheâs like, going to get herself killed or something.â
Owenâs body slumps fully against the table. âThank you,â he breathes, relieved. âI just want to make sure sheâs okay.â
Reaching over across the table, you pat his arm comfortingly. âI get that. Youâre a good partner, you know?â
He flushes slightly, colour creeping up from the collar of his jacket to the tips of his ears.
He raises back up. âI have some room to improve⊠but thanks.â His smile is embarrassed, but the most genuine one youâve gotten out of him today. He nods to you. âYou are, too.â
You pause; the smile frozen on your face. âWhat?â
Owen stutters, a wave of guilt passing over his face. He doubles down. âIâ I said youâre a good partner too.â
You both stare at each other, the mess hall bustling around you as your minds work a mile a minute. You stumble slightly, trying to find your words. âI donâtâWhat do youââ
âLook, I promise I wonât say anything,â he rushes out, holding his hands up to you reassuringly.
âI knew you figured it out!â You hiss, leaning towards him on the table. âHow didâWhen did youââ
âI mean, I noticed right away that she had feelings for you,â he said, also leaning in. âI know how she is when she likes someone. And you arenât exactly all that subtle either, so I was more just waiting on the two of you to realise it yourselves.â
You huff, embarrassed, looking away. âI wasnât that obvious.â
âYou were making goo-goo eyes at her the first time you met. I was there, remember?â You donât know when his smile became a teasing smirk, but you hate him for it. âAnd Iâm not the only one that thought it was weird that you and Isabella didnât stay together for longer.â
âFirst of all, never call them goo-goo eyes ever again,â you say, raising a finger at him. âSecond, me and Isabella didnât work out because we wanted different things.â
Owen raises an eyebrow. âAnd what did you want?â
You open your mouth, then close it again. âI donât need to explain myself to you.â
He laughs, more of that mirthful light coming back to his eyes.
âYou noticing we were uselessly pining for each other doesnât explain to me how you know, though,â you point out, crossing your arms over your chest.
Owen has the decency to look a little bit embarrassedâsomewhat hesitant to speak up. He clears his throat. âYou know that just because you canât see anyone, that doesnât mean that nobody can see you, right?â
âHuh?â
âThe WLF banner. It doesnât exactlyâI mean it does a pretty good job, but if youâre entering from the East Gate, you can kind of see around it and--â
You stand abruptly, nearly tripping on the bench seat. âThis was a great talk, Owen, but I have to go now.â
He laughs, watching you lean down to collect your things. âNobody really looks up there, but if youââ
âWeâre never talking about this ever again,â you say, tone final. He grins up at you, and despite the circumstances, you feel a sense of relief at the sight.
Your movements slow to a stop, fingers left to fiddle with the corner of the book. âYou wonât like, bring this up to anyone, yeah? Abbyâs not really one for people knowing her business and I donât want her to thinkââ
His face softens, and he shakes his head. âYou know I get how she is about these sorts of things. I promise I wonât speak a word of it, even to Mel. Especially to Mel.â
âMel knows already,â you inform him, still looking down at the book. âYou remember our fight?â
âOh.â Understanding washes over him like a wave. âThat⊠makes a bit more sense, now.â
âYeah,â you clear your throat, tucking your book under your arm and picking up your bowl of leftovers. âI promise Iâll try and talk to Mel.â
âThank you. I really appreciate it.â
âNo sweat,â you say, stepping back from the table. âIâll see you around?â
âSure,â he nods, smiling up at you. âYou know, if you want any good spots, I canââ
You turn on your heels and walk away without another word, Owenâs laugh following you.
âž
True to your word, you organise to have a talk with Mel.
You donât outright ask, which maybe was a shitty move on your part, but you figured that if she was trying to hide whatever was bothering her from Owen, that this was something that needed to be approached a bit more delicately than catching her in one of your spare moments.
You find her at work the following day, sliding beside her at the wash station to ask what her plans were for that night.
She shrugs, rinsing the lather from between her fingers. âAll my stuff is at Owenâs still, so Iâll probably just go back there tonight.â
âWell, cancel that. Iâm stealing you for the night.â
Mel looks to you, hands stilling under the water stream. âBut my stuff-â
âIâll go get it on my break. Owenâs home, right?â You already know that Owen is home, having just talked to him yesterday. âIâll just get him to let me in.â
She eyes you for a few more seconds, studying you, before turning off the tap and shaking out her hands.
âSure.â Mel nods to herself, lips curling up into a tired smile. âThatâd be nice.â
The two of you clocked off at the same time, something that has been happening less and less as the days go by. You appreciate the independence that you have now that youâre no longer under supervision, but you canât lie and say that you donât miss Mel more.
You wait for her as she bundles herself back up in her puffer coat, holding out the crook of your arm for her to slip her own into as you make the trek down to the caf for dinner. The lines were thankfully not too long by the time you got there, so you settled on getting some burrito bowls and heading home.
You set up the dining table as Mel got changed, making some excuse about how you never properly sit here anymore, how you miss having family dinners. Really, it was because you couldnât look at the couch properly anymore, and the idea of sitting on it with Mel after having Abby over the other week⊠You just couldnât do it.
So, you ate at the table, you on one end and Mel on the other, food transferred from the takeaway containers to real bowls because you know Mel prefers it.
You also talked. Emphasis on the you. Mel was kind, and she politely joined in on the conversation, made sure you knew that she was interested and listening, but she wasnât participating as enthusiastically as she normally would. And when you look at her from the other side of the table, looking down at her food and dragging her fork distractedly through her rice, you canât help but think that she really is off. That Owen was onto something.
You swallow a mouthful of lettuce and beans, setting your fork down in the bowl.
âI had to set a dislocated shoulder today,â you say, looking over at her.
âYeah?â comes her reply, interested in theory, but she keeps staring down at her food.
âYeah. I messed it up, though. Pulled it right off instead.â
You hoped that would get some reaction out of her-- a huff of laughter, a playful roll of her eyesâ not an exasperated sigh and the sound of her fork clinking harshly against the ceramic as she drops it. Mel finally looks up at you, though her expression is hard, serious.
Anxiety zips through your veins, making the tips of your fingers tingle and spark.
âMel?â
âI need to tell you something,â she starts, tone just as serious as her expression. âAnd you need to promise that you wonât tell anyone, no matter what. Not until I say you can, okay?â
You blink, trying to wrap your head around the sudden shift in energy. âYeahâI mean, of course. You can tell me anything, you know that.â
Your palms sweat as she looks at you, something softening behind her eyes as she takes in your visible anxiety.
âAre⊠Are you and Owen okay?â you broach carefully, feeling ill just asking it. How would you look at him, knowing that he begged you to talk to her because he was so concerned for her, only to find out that she was thinking of ending things.
Something flickers across her face.
âOwen? Weâre fine. More than fine,â she sighs, posture slipping a bit. âI hope we are? This isâI donât know how this is going to change things.â
âMel, youâre kind of scaring me,â you admit, feeling like the air around you is getting thinner. âWhatâs going on? Are you okay?â
You watch, confused, as she stands up from the table and pads down the steps of the room, over to her bed. She pulls open one of the drawers by her bedside, shuffling things around before pulling something out. When she makes her way back to you, whatever she grabbed hidden away in her hand, she pulls out the chair next to you and drops herself down into it.
âHave you finished eating?â She asks, looking down at your bowl.
You look down with her, shoving it aside. You werenât, but thereâs no way you could eat now.
She places a parcel, a small thing wrapped in old newspaper, on the table in its place.
You look to her in question, words escaping you in this moment of tension, and she simply nods, giving you permission to open it.
You donât notice the tremble in your hands until you pick the parcel up. Itâs only a couple of inches long and whatever is inside is small, skinny, barely weighing a thing.
Itâs wrapped neatly, and you flip it over to unpick the sliver of tape keeping the paper together. You use the same amount of care that youâd use when opening a present, something screaming at you that this is important.
It feels like your body is reacting before your mind, part of you already knowing what sheâs given you, what is coming next, but all the signs and warnings are being blocked before they can register in your brain.
Itâs only when youâre looking at the pregnancy test in the middle of the paper that it all clicks, and the air in your lungs leaves you in one big rush.
Two lines.
Pregnant.
You look up at Mel, neck almost snapping from the movement.
âMelââ
âWhat do I do?â She asks, her large eyes looking imploringly into your own.
Your eyes flick back down at the test, the faded two lines on the stick staring back up at you.
âArenât these super expired? Surely thereâs no way itâs still working.â
âI know, but I was freaking out and felt like I couldnât calm down unless I took one,â she says, a slightly tremor in her voice.
âItâs just one test, though, right? I donât thinkââ
Mel cuts you off by standing up, once again moving down the steps to her side of the room. This time she squats down by her bunk, pulling out her duffel and reaching somewhere far behind it. She pulls something out, whatever it is clattering around as she grips it and stands back up.
She puts it on the table next to the test when she makes her way back, slumping into the chair next to you to stare at it.
Itâs a clear biohazard bag from the tents, full of at least twenty other pregnancy tests.
Without even needing to open the bag you can already see what the majority of them say through the plastic. Some are inconclusive, but the ones that show results all read positive.
âOh shit,â you breathe, unable to rip your eyes away from the bag.
âYeah,â Mel sighs, looking with you. âShit, indeed.â
You turn to her in your chair.
âThis doesnât mean anything. Not yet, right? Do you have any other symptoms? Whenâs the last time you had your period?â
âIâm late,â she says, and you let out another breath, deflating slightly.
âThatâs notâ People are late all the time. And you and Owen are so careful, so I donâtââ You cut yourself off, watching the way her cheeks darken, the way she look at the floor. âOh, Mel, you didnât,â you gasp, holding a hand up to your mouth.
âIt was only the once,â she argues, arms sliding around herself, across her stomach. âWhen we were at the aquarium, after he took me to get all that Christmas stuff. We were decorating, listening to music, dancing, and it was just really nice, okay? And we usually keep a bunch stashed around the place, but we werenât by any and we didnât want to leave so we justââ She cuts herself off, dragging her gaze back to the bag.
You slump back in your seat, staring at it with her.
It feels unreal. You and Mel have never talked about children before, how you feel about them or if youâd ever want them. But even if Mel does want kids, even if itâs something that sheâs always dreamed about, having it happen so suddenlyâŠ
You canât help the shocked little laugh that leaves you, a giggle that you try and muffle behind your hand. But then Mel is laughing too, and you both end up laughing together, shocked and unsure and scared at what this means as you stare at the bag on the table.
You blindly reach out for her, grasping one of her hands in your own.
âYouâre gonna be a mom. Maybe,â you tack on, not wanting to jinx anything, just in case.
You look over at Mel as she looks to you, squeezing your hand and smiling just a little bit. Itâs strained, exhausted, but there. âYeah. Maybe.â
âYouâve got this.No matter what happens, youâre going to kick ass.â
She swallows, eyes getting a bit misty. âWhat if⊠What if Owen doesnâtââ
You turn in your chair, facing her head on. âHe loves you. Heâs crazy about you. If Iâm being entirely honest, Iâm surprised you havenât come to me with a pregnancy scare sooner. I know you two arenât just cuddling when youâre there all the time.â
She huffs an embarrassed laugh, shy as she looks away.
âDonât worry about what Owen will say right now though, okay? Not until we know for sure, and you know what you want to do.â
She nods silently, squeezing your hand again in response. The other rests absently across her middle.
âNo matter what, youâve got me. If you donât think Iâm going to be the most annoying person left in the world throughout this pregnancy then youâre sorely mistaken,â you joke, making her laugh.
âThank you,â she says, throat tight with overwhelming emotion. You smile, pulling her in by the hand to wrap your arms around her, hugging her tight.
âYouâve got this.â You whisper into her hair, kissing the top of her head. âIâm gonna be the coolest aunt ever.â
Mel scoffs playfully, and you both dissolve into giggles.
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