#posting this here bc i need it said out loud but i cannot post in my vanilla blog where people from irl know me

[bellysoupset]

venting.

there are very few things as alienating as having your friend texting about their upcoming plans to move to europe, all the while you're texting the social worker about your own possible cancer diagnosis at 25ish years old.

the flip between emotion A and B is so insane, its giving me whiplash.

[izzy-b-hands]

A moth has kicked me out of my room for the night, but i have the tv downstairs that i can leave on to fall asleep to and that's not so bad

[licorice-tea]

Young And Dumb.

Pairing: Trafalgar Law x reader

Content: Strawhat reader, gender neutral reader, reader is flirty and bold, cursing, allusions to sex and a threesome, no actual sexual content!!!, pining, kissing 🤭, misunderstandings/ miscommunication, a little bit of arguing, hurt/comfort <3

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: kind of been in a writing slump these past few days, so i just wanted to write and post something, you know? it’s weird bc i have a ton of wips in my drafts, but none of them really felt finished, so i did this whole thing in maybe 2 hours? hopefully it’s enough to pull me out of my little funk so i can get back to posting more regularly! anyway, enjoy!

Law respects you. He respects your choices, your independence from him, even your crew that he doesn’t always like personally. But one thing he absolutely cannot stand is when you do things like this.

The first thing he hears upon walking up to the deck is giggling. Bothersome, but not too loud or unusual that it throws off his routine. Besides; he’s sure his crew must be glad to be above the waves for once, and happy to have the company of the Straw Hats as well. The two crews had wound up with their ships anchored next to each other in the middle of the sea, and agreed to stay there before their courses diverged once again.

He sees you talking to Penguin and Shachi- the source of said laughter. But, Law does a double take when you let out a shriek of laughter. Then he realizes just how closely the two of them are standing to you. You’re not even on the same crew as them, but you look real cozy with Penguin’s hand around your waist and Shachi’s on your shoulder. Of course, he knows your friendliness can border on flirtation (and desperately wants to be on the receiving end of that flirting right now instead of his crew members) but that logic does nothing to calm him.

Law’s perpetual frown turns into a full on scowl as he marches over to the trio you’ve formed. “Penguin! Shachi! Have you…” he loses his train of thought when you give him a quizzical expression, and realizes there is nothing that they haven’t already done. “Your chores. Below deck.”

“Sure have, captain!”

“Yes, captain!”

All three of you look at him expectantly, unsure of why he’s still standing before you. “Are you ok, Law?”

“Ok?” No he wasn’t fucking ok. How could he be when two of his closest friends were throwing themselves at you, and you were letting them? They didn’t even know how he felt for you- no one does- but still. This was just too much for him.

“I need to speak to you, y/n-ya.”

With regard for his serious tone and expression, you wriggle out from between your two friends and follow Law all the way to his office. When you get there and he finally shuts the door, you don’t sit.

Instead you approach him, “Is something wrong? You seemed really upset.”

He looks down at you with a frown. You can tell he’s contemplating his next words before answering, “…Everything is fine.”

“Oh? Ok, so… why are we here then?”

Law breathes deeply, and exhales in a huff. “I need to tell you something.”

“Is it… serious? You’re being kind of weird, Law.”

“I am not.”

“Hm, well, no; you are. But what’s up?”

“I-“ he stops himself and sighs again before continuing. “So dramatic,” you think to yourself. “You shouldn’t get so close to Penguin and Shachi.”

You blink a few times, shocked. He could either be confessing his overwhelming love for you (which you highly doubted, Law had never seemed to reciprocate your affections for him) or giving you some spiel about inappropriate relationships. “Excuse me?”

“They do this kind of thing all the time, y/n-ya; messing around with random women and men, and-“

“And what, Law? I’m an adult, for fucks sake, I don’t need anyone telling me what to do.”

“You don’t understand, they- they want something from you.”

“I know damn well you’re not lecturing me on my sex life right now, Trafalgar Law.”

His face gets hot just from the thought of it. “I am not! But you can’t-“

“Yes, Law, I can. I’m not going to, wasn’t even planning on it; all I did was flirt with them. But believe me when I say I can.”

He’s silent, with an expression akin to that of a bewildered fish. Then it morphs into more of a frown. “I-“

“Don’t even continue with that thought, because you’ve already managed to piss me off beyond belief. Just- just get out of my way.” You step around him and fling open the door to his office before storming off.

That evening, the two crews gather on the deck of the Thousand Sunny for a feast. You find an empty seat, and soon enough Penguin and Shachi place themselves on either side of you.

“Heyyyy y/n.” The first greets you with a sort of awkward, nervous cadence.

“Hey guys, sorry I left without saying bye earlier.”

“Oh it’s fine, you’re good…”

“We’re sorry too.”

This makes you quirk an eyebrow in confusion and look side to side at either of them. “Why would you be sorry?”

They shoot a quick glance at each other, but it’s very obvious because they have to look across you to do so.

“Did you know that, well… Law sort of…”

“He has feeling for you. Big time.”

You almost spit out your drink. “What? Oh, ok, real funny guys-“

“No, no we’re serious!”

“Yeah! You should hear the way he talks about you-“

“All good things, of course, it’d be hard not to- But anyway he was never going to tell you because he doesn’t think you’re interested, blah blah blah-“

“Which is why we decided to try and make him jealous!”

“…I’m so confused right now. No, not even confused just… surprised?”

“Don’t blame yourself, Captain’s hard to read sometimes.”

“Good thing we figured it out for you, right?” Shachi elbows your side, clearly pleased with himself.

“Uh huh...”

Penguin continues “Anyway, we thought it worked when he said he needed to talk to you earlier, but when you came back you seemed sort of upset.”

“Yeah, well he was kind of acting like a dick.”

He sighs, “Law means well, I swear. He’s just… he’s not the best with matters of the heart.”

“That’s ironic.”

Shachi leans over you to address his friend. “Not the best? C’mon man, he has zero experience.”

“Shh! We want y/n to feel for him, not pity him.”

You laugh, “Right, so… what should I do?”

“Do you like him back?” Such a childish way of saying it.. but you do. And you had, for a while, but you’d never acted on your feelings because he’d never seem to like you as anything other than a friend. Until earlier today, when his jealously led him to say some kind of rude things to you. It was no excuse, but it explained why he’d acted the way he did.

You smile softly and look down. “I do.”

“Then go talk to him!”

“Yeah, go talk to him y/n!”

The two men excitedly get you up out of your seat and (gently) push you toward where Law is leaning on the railing of the deck. You laugh and go along with it- if what they were saying is true, what could be the harm in being honest about your own feelings with him?

You walk briskly toward Law, but with purpose, And when you stop in front of him, he looks up from his cup like a deer in headlights.

He quietly greets you with a nod. “…Y/n-ya.”

“Law. Can we talk?”

He nods and follows you to the starboard side of the deck, far enough from where the dinner and light music is. You come to a stop and turn to face him.

“You know, I’ve been talking to Penguin and Shachi…”

Law deadpans, still annoyed about how they were all over you earlier. “Mhm.”

“And they told me something about you. I didn’t really believe it, at first, because you never… Well you never acted like you do, but-“

“Like I what?”

“Like you… have feelings for me?”

“Shit.” He was going to kill them after this. Or at the very least, make sure they had the worst of the chores on the Polar Tang for the foreseeable future. “They… They told you that?”

“Yes, but-“ Law turns and tries to walk off with his fists clenched, before you stop and grab one of his wrists. “I feel the same way, Law. If it’s true, of course.“

“It is.”

You smile. “If you were jealous earlier, you could’ve just said so. Then I wouldn’t have gotten angry with you.”

“You’re not interested in them?”

“No, we’re just friends… But I didn’t think you were interested in me, either, so I didn’t see the harm in flirting.”

Law shrugs, looking down at his shoes. You’ve never seen him so shy. “Well, I didn’t think you felt the same way, so I never, uh, confessed.”

“Well,” you take a step closer, and risk your chances by gently lifting his chin with one hand. “I do.”

Law’s eyes roam over your face, mouth gaping as he searches for his next words. He wants to say something suave and impressive, to take back control of the situation when you so clearly have him wrapped around your finger. However, he comes up with nothing, and decides to try something new instead. Maybe your boldness has simply inspired him to suddenly come up with this master plan, or maybe he just can’t think of anything else with you standing so close; but he kisses you.

It’s slow and hesitant for the first few seconds- you think he’s probably new to this by the way he lips press into yours forcefully and without much intention. You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer, guiding him to sink his lips into yours rather than have them press flat against each other. He follows suit, then pulls away for a quick breath before going right back for you. He sighs into the kiss this time, and your lips part ever so slightly. He takes this as opportunity try and go a little further- his tongue passes in the slit between your lips and you open them further to let him. What had started off as a small kiss quickly becomes a less than innocent make out session. Law is bold with it, too; nipping at your lips and causing you to gasp so that he can take you by surprise and kiss you that much more deeply (on more than one occasion.) You can both practically feel the tension built up over months of pining after each other dissipating.

At long last you pull away, for fear your mouth will go numb if you let him bite your lips one more time.

And Law asks, slightly panting; “How was that?”

You laugh, genuinely surprised that he’s concerned about his performance in what might’ve been was the best kiss of your life. “Perfect, Law. Just perfect.”

[legs-like-jelly]

UR HEADCANONS FOR GRIMMY AND BULKHEAD ARE SO ADORABLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I'M GONNA SOB AWHHH

WAITER WAITER, CAN WE HAVE MORE TKL HEADCANONS FOR GRIMMY!? IT MAYBE G1 OR ANY ANIMATED BUT PLS I LOVE MY BAWBYYY

how about the rest of them?

g1:

very VERY big nibbler he LOVES nibbling on his lee it's his fav activity

i have this hc that all versions of grimmy snort when they laugh and i think rid15 PROVED ME RIGHT

doesn't know how to tease, but makes up for it with his nuzzles and little purrs GUYS-- guys.

soft pinches are his second favorite and i feel like he gets cuteness aggression to bad, that's why he spends most of his time nibbling on his lee UUUGHJHHHH.

his favorite spot is either his ankles or the bottom of his pedes and tbh im pulling that from that one rid15 clip @pockysfluffiez posted i will not let that go ever.

cyberverse:

they made him a chilled out scientist in his bot mode and its,,,dgjjjjjdfjjjjjdjjrhehdhd im normal avbout it im defo normal abt it

he has the sweetest snort-laugh....and he gets kinda blushy too when you tease him im so normal im so emphatically normal guys.

his favorite spot is right behind his audial bcs i said so

just as sweet of a ler as he is a lee..

will tell his lee how cute they are while he wrecks them to bits, will say how much he treasures their laugh and how nice it is to see them happy IM LOSING IT-

he's so huge he definitely takes advantage of his size to scoop up smaller bots and just scribble his fingers against their tummy SHAKES THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE!!!

animated:

not very familiar with tickling, but he defo tries his best

he gets VERY jumpy and aggressive when someone tries to tickle him, it's a privilege very few have to be able to wreck tfa grimlock

lots of playful growls and aggressive tummy nuzzles with this guy i feel like

if you DO manage to get him, he'll be very fidgety and swat a lot. beware of him waving his energo-sword....

much like g1 grimmy, he is LOUD when laughing like my autobot in christ you're going to alert the enemy lines if you keep cackling like that

earthspark:

EARTHSPARK OHH EARTHSPARK MY BELOVED EVERYONE PLEASE WATCH EARTHSPARK I WILL SCREAM THIS AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS.

some of these hcs are ones i made up with @an0ma1y-th3d0ma1y

oh my god the ghost tickles with him are so BAD because he'll nuzzle his face into the lee's neck and whisper "om nom nom nom!" ANDD IM GOING GRAZY.

his faaaavorite spot is under his chin I DONT TAKE CRITICISM

like animated grimmy, he loves to growl playfully and his favorite trick to pull it on is JAWBREAKER BCS I SAID SO

he also pretends to kiss his lee's palms just to give them even MORE GHOST TICKLES I HATE HIM I HATE HIM SMASHES EVERYTHING IN SIGHT.

LOVES GIVING PHANTOM NIBBLES TO HIS LEE'S TUMMY TOO!!

god forbid he start's clawing at the lee's tummy or traps them in his arms and purrs as loud as he can to create the most tickly vibrations AARHRHGGGGG.

LOOOOOVES TO TEASE he's NOTORIOUS for it

"I'm not even tickling you yet, what's so funny?" "hmm i wonder if i can dial optimus on this phone here.." AND THEN HE STARTS POKING THE LEES TUMMY and dear primus as motley would say, he gotta die.

gives the best aftermath snuggles sorry i dont make the rules except i do

not as much of a kicker, but he does kick a few times!

will scrunch up his shoulders if you get a really bad spot

CANNOT TAKE ANTICIPATION FOR THE LIFE OF HIM HE WILL BE GIGGLING BEFORE YOU EVEN LOWER YOUR FINGERS..

im insane im insane im losing it(like i havent already) guys i need him to be WRECKED TO OBLIVION RIGHT NOW I NEED JAWBREAKER TO GET HIM BACK FOR ALL THE GHOST TICKLES GRIMLOCK;S GIVEN HIM. LIKE NOW LIKE NOW.

[mackwin]

just wanna say that i cannot stop thinking about your tarot post and the recent thing you reblogged with those tags about sheriff rick really took me out laughing. i can’t STAND these two (affectionate). i would love to read any other insight reflection etc that you’d like to share (ik you said you could talk about which cards you pulled). just know at least one person out there (me) would eat it up!!!! hahaha 🩷

omg i’m so happy you enjoyed the reading and that i could provide some laughs!!! 🥰💕💕 and god same…they are crazy frfr

i’m so glad you would eat up more of the tarot tea bc i am more than happy to share!!!

cards pulled for the willmack reading:

mack’s feelings

six of cups 🥹 (healing from an old connection, childlike joy, nostalgia, courting)

five of swords (conflict and jealousy that has not been spoken)

ten of wands (burden, overloaded)

knight of wands (excitement, passion, confidence, adventure, indicates romance sparked through work)

the hanged man in reverse (boredom, stagnation, struggle with surrender, need for patience)

ace of wands (horny…flirting, passion, extreme attraction & sensuality)

fell out of deck - knight of cups (very charming, emotionally attuned & sensitive suitor, desire, affection), the hierophant (safe, traditional, stability) , the emperor (strong, authoritative, protective figure)

🤦🏼‍♀️ oh macklin…..listing and reviewing all these cards again i’m sitting here like. this is so embarrassing

- mack’s feelings for will are so strong. like he rly thinks will is one charming mf. and these feelings are lowkey bordering on idolization…. which can suggest he has felt attracted to will for quite some time

- after reviewing my notes and doing some more research, six of cups and the hierophant are known as soulmate cards 😭😭😭

- this is mostly on the light-hearted side, but the ace of wands is known as the ‘dick card’ in tarot. mack at the very least believes will has big dick energy

will’s feelings

five of cups reversed (acceptance, forgiveness and healing)

the wheel of fortune (luck, fate, destiny, unexpected events)

seven of wands (protectiveness, defensiveness of position/beliefs to external opposition)

knight of pentacles (diligence, stability, reliable, commitment to goals)

two of cups (SCREAMING) (unity, partnership, perfect harmony, mutual love & respect)

page of pentacles in reverse (laziness, immaturity)

fell out of the deck: the star (hope, healing, strong devotion), queen of pentacles (beauty, deep affection, nurturing, compassion)

oh will and your very Loud pieces sun….sighs…

- will is just so soft for mack it hurts me…and what especially strikes me is how sweet and nurturing he finds him

- will thinks mack is beautiful 😩😩😩😩

- i don’t even really know what else to say for will…like he is just such a fan of mack and their partnership, he feels so uber lucky to have him by his side….

some more random notes:

- their reading is full of cards that suggest romance: two of cups, six of cups, the hierophant, queen of pentacles, ace of wands, the star, the knight of cups

- it is Very Interesting to me that there is no confusion, insecurity or shame whatsoever within their cards. they are completely confident in one another and do not question how they feel

- you may have noticed the strong themes and mirroring in their readings….such as mack having a plethora of male figure cards vs will with female figure cards. this is a wonderfully complimentary balance…but also. healing each other’s daddy/mommy issues lol?

[inchidentally]

sorry I know you've got a lot going on ❤️ but you said fans were getting invasive about Lily - do you think that's why she hasn't been as visible lately?

tysm anon <3

and yeppp that's my take at least! and like to tldr: it's fine to be a wag fan and sometimes leave comments on posts or even make a cute fan page sometimes - apart from being a fan page admin that's literally me ! - but people should NOT get demanding and angry if the guy doesn't post her when they think he should have and esp if she has chosen to be private then people should NOT form very loud borderline manic public obsessions about her - and also especially can ppl please remember with Lily we barely know the basics of her as a human woman and we cannot claim to be obsessed with anything more than her being pretty and a woman in STEM. which is totally valid to be excited about but not to the point of flooding someone else's comments or pubilcly demanding that Oscar marry her immediately etc etc. bc shit got fucking weird and inappropriate over this past winter and it's pretty clear she and Oscar are putting some of these people in time out to calm down and reflect a lil bit !!

and it might seem ironic at first but apart from just rb cute content, my Lily posting has been to assert her real life existence in spaces where other rpf ships have exited reality and tried to pretend that wags either don't exist or shouldn't be there. I'm defensive of her on principle not bc I think I have any special status or connection to her (I very much don't)

so yea when you compare the start of any other of Oscar's seasons since he started dating Lily they are very different to this season and pre-season. bc while yes as Oscar said, the photodumps we get on his acc during the breaks are all thanks to Lily (most of us already guessed based on how pretty and aesthetic the photos are compared to how Oscar usually takes pictures akfgsaljf) but he'll usually include her during the season as well if she's around - and ofc we get the pictures/video from the paddock walk and anything else K*m Ilm*n posts. and Melbourne especially we usually get WAY more content of her. which makes this season even more unusual bc it's the first time Oscar's family have publicly been visible and posted on their own sm. we got one photo of Lily in Nicole's video but that's it. just some blurry videos by fans and a glimpse of her waiting behind Oscar signing autographs after the race.

I'll go more into it it below but shit got weird with certain fans last season and Lily and Oscar can't have helped noticing. so I think a pause has been put on much of her visibility to fans to calm things down.

((I obviously am just speculating and do not know for sure))

but personally that's felt pretty obvious and I feel like it'll all go back to normal here soon. he did say the usual "sleep, hang out w my gf when she's around, train" thing during an interview w an Australian news channel after China - which he hadn't said probably since last season ??? so I think if this was indeed a way to create healthy distance with fans then the point has been (hopefully made) and she can be more visible again now.

but as to the invasiveness yeaaa things were just getting out of control w these fans literally angrily demanding Lily content and I guess they thought "jokingly" being mean to Oscar ?? but it was just rude and also fake as hell and started to get real weird.

real quick I need to make three things clear: there's nothing wrong with being a fan of the wags bc I sure as shit am, but let's please be normal and not treat these women like commodities that we can make demands of or for !! secondly that I default get protective of the women famous men date bc fans and media are inherently terrifying/unsafe/cruel spaces for them. and third that I'm just not personally rah rah about trad hetero relationships. so when I'm rooting for the wags I'm not rooting for their relationships per se, it just happens to be how I found out about them (and like with Jade D if I get into their content then I literally don't care after they break up w the driver, I didn't even notice she wasn't w Arthur anymore bc I'm here for her aesthetic - I'm literally a fan of Flavy and I just think Esteban is cute when I do see him) and I do sometimes make note of when a driver has said or done smth that exceeds the norm in a good way with m/f relationships. but when Lily's fan page said she was going for her Master's I was excited ! and the second we find out where she ends up working I'll be excited ! but I do not care that she was seen walking next to Oscar for the millionth time and for me personally it won't resonate as exciting when they get engaged/married/make babies etc I'm sorry that's just not my personal emotional investment when it comes to women! it doesn't matter to anyone but me but I just wanted to make it clear how I approach wag/Lily content.

anyway basically, 2024 his IG went as usual where Lily appears in his own F1 season content a little bit but there was comparatively a lot more content floating around fan spaces. and during the WCC celebrations, there was a ton of content about her on other social media, she got a suitably awkward closeup on Ted's camera and then she was in the team photo videos. then over the summer she took over for the most part while Sarah (his sm/PR manager) managed to get Oscar to do a little publicity.

the pre-season starts and it's a little strange that there's no content of her. but !! when he didn't post Lily in his dump about the F125 event, I literally was like yiiiiiiikes over the top comments all being these insane demanding WHERE IS THE LILY PHOTO, WHY NO LILY PHOTO, I'M HERE FOR LILY NOT U OSCAR etc etc:

and what's wild is looking at it now, some of them were definitely deleted bc the top 3 used to be about Lily and the likes on them were in the literal thousands. I'm not surprised they were removed bc to a normal person that will look terrifying let alone how that will look to the woman they're obsessed with.

you can also go look up the comments on the posts from the ausopen and other sports sm pages that posted Oscar and Lily in the stands watching the tennis - it's just way too much and to the point where some ppl were asking what Lily the comments were about and going oh wait that's his gf? and idk it just felt like a LOT to be out here on main pushing the Lily obsession for a woman who is known to be private !!

when you go back to the last photo he'd posted before his winter hibernation that has Lily in it, you can see just how badly the Lily obsession was getting in the comments. like I had to just give up scrolling bc every time I did more of them came up:

I'm sorry but some of this is wayyyy too far for a woman we know nothing about directly from herself and only a tiny amount more from her boyfriend and a few small passing mentions from his family and coworkers. I've seen screencaps of her fan pages who ask her stuff but it's like are you still studying, what's your make up and hair routine, what hobbies etc. we literally do not know her as a person beyond that !

!! this is very clearly a conscious choice on her part and - apart from fan pages who she's fine with contacting her - it is not for us to push or prod when someone very obviously is not available like that !!

and while yes it's fully worth it to root for any woman in STEM based solely on that fact alone <3<3 there are literally hundreds or possibly even thousands of women in STEM racing positions who have their own fully public profiles whose work and personalities are also fully accessible that ppl can flip out over this hard! they could actually really do with ppl seeking out any of their public sm and showing support that will actually reach them directly and help boost their visibility!

so let's be honest here the loudest aggressive screaming obsession and pretending "I'm just here for Lily not Oscar!!" is about who Lily is dating, it's about her being pretty, and it's about her being seen as "superior to other wags/women" by studying in STEM and how that's such a huge win for Oscar that she's got "beauty and brains" and here's where I delete whole paragraphs bc I find the popular dialogue around wags to be utterly repulsive and aggressively misogynist while waving the weakest most anemic of virtue signals and fake feminist zeitgeist terminology to hide it.

but also maybe some of those girls and women don't know they're inadvertently being insulting and transparent by pretending they can form obsessions about a total stranger based on the few bullet points they know about her. especially when if you remove her from Oscar's life, she disappears entirely from your ability to follow her. like. maybe it's a hint that your obsession is neither wanted by her and it's not based on anything legitimate.

as someone who has actually always wanted Lily to get public sm and to see her work and maybe some of her personal life outside of Oscar, I am not leaving insane comments or out here publicly pushing for it. this is an adult woman who deserves to have her choices respected. she's not a cute little dolly with a barbie STEM degree in her doll hand who I'm gonna develop an increasing parasocial hysteria over every time she wears the mini Frivole or the new Dior while claiming I want Oscar's face scratched out of the photo aslfgsjlafglsjaf

now !! the second I see her in pictures at F1A races or talking to Suzy in the paddock uh yes I might be a little unbearable !! but that's a solid reason to be excited and I still will not take that as invitation to go insane demanding more

and again, it's ok and fine to leave a nice calm normal comment if there's content about her! it's ok to have fan pages as long as there aren't too many tag spams to unrelated accs (McLaren and F1 do not need to see edits of her latest outfit or her hugging Oscar saljfhsafl) but when it comes to Lily especially it's worth self-checking to see if you're treating her like a commodity that you're demanding access to and content about. that's not okay.

and yea I hope this probably intentional withdrawal will teach some people how to behave and be normal about someone else's girlfriend that they barely know anything about bc that's her own choice and it doesn't make her better or worse than wags who choose to be more public bc oh yeah while I'm at it we're not out here ranking women's validity based on if they're "allowed to take up space" or if a woman's existence is "valid" in a toxic sexist elitist white-male-dominated sport or not yep we're not gonna do that either right <3<3

[khaoala]

Since you mentioned about soms feeling khao is easily swayed than first do you think it has something to do with how fk was formed maybe idk. Khao had a cp,though was not that popular but still was a cp which he actively promoted with fanservice before he eventually ended up with First who was his ghostship at the time. On the other hand First never promoted with anyone as a cp and was seen as a free spirit who kept changing his partners and he rarely did fanservice with any of them barring his natural affectionate self. Once he ended up with Khao he just settled in with him. It's almost kind of the reason why fans outside the fandom sometimes hate fk cause first who had chemistry with a lot just settled down like that. Also First is very loud and expressive about how much Khao means to him while Khao is much more subtle about it so unless you really take in khao's personality it would come across as First is the one more invested(which not true)

i wasn't here at the time so i can't say much about it because all i know is what i've read from soms who have been around longer. what i learned is that when firstkhao became a thing, gawinfirst fans were upset because they wanted first to be official with gawin after the success of not me, and from what i've heard, that's where the animosity towards the ship came at first (also, might i add, this isn't a diss on fans of gf btw, unless you're nasty and bitter, in that case we do have beef, but then i don't know why you'd be on my blog). poddkhao fans, i must admit i only saw some strays, i can't really say much of them.

what these people fail to realize tho that gmm wouldn't force first into a ship unless he wanted that. nanon, win and tu, for example, aren't into the couples system despite being extremely popular (they wouldn't need a pair to be more popular tbh, but gmm would benefit of it, i believe, and yet they don't push that on them - skynani i don't know enough to ascertain what their broship is about, just that gmm really jumped on that sudden spike of popularity). so i think it's less of seeing first as a free spirit (though i feel some people feel that way) and more like from all people, why did he settle with khaotung (we know why. they've being working to strengthen their ghostship way before they became a couple. just yesterday people were pointing out how they started their lovestagram in 2020, like…)

like i said before like, both first and khaotung have impeccable chemistry with whoever they work with (i still stand that earthkhao should have kissed in mlc just to see the fall out of that), but there are double standards of who can and cannot and who will cause more hustle (khaotung) or if fans will aprove of more (first).

this talk about how they show affection and "who puts more work" always pisses me off too, because people go into paragraphs to talk about love languages but disregard that bc khaotung doesn't respond first on twitter, or doesn't post on instagram. this is what i mean when i say some fans think they know better than them btw. they've been best friends for years. first has spoken about how he discovered more about himself last year with khaotung's help. khaotung is someone who has supported first whenever he felt insecure, they make clear and obvious that they are each other's safe zone. but the "putting effort-meter" is measured by how many social media interactions they have, see how ridiculous these people are?

[aristotle97]

suffering bc an oc i made inspired by a writing-prompt-s "ur power is being average at everything and never worse than average" post isn't good enough for a marvel rp server i'm in so im gonna post them here and see if anyone wants to rp with me qvq

(p.s he's named mercutio bc i'm growing into my new pref. name)

also tagging @kohyuuu / @kohyuu2 and maybe @mercutiosblog bc they might find this oc neat

_ _ -# " hAVE AT THEE, BOY! " ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ … ⠀ Mercutio⠀ 𓏴 ⠀ Master of None

info

full name . Mercutio Riccio alias(es) . Merc, Tio, etc. age . 18 date of birth . 3/16 gender . Trans Male sexuality . Pan occupation . Vigilante

mutation

(the main gripe of these people in the discord i'm in. also said his strengths/weaknesses were traits more than anything... YEAH. BECAUSE HIS POWER IS BEING AVERAGE!?!?!?)

Mutation: Jack of All Trades, Master of None - Average at everything (but extremly bad at taking care of himself), isn't neccesarily an expert at anything, but tries his hardest anyways. Physical health could be better, definitely in an average/healthy range, though. Can run average distances, eat normal amounts, etc.

Strengths:

Consistency - His physical abilites are extremly consistent thanks to his averageness. Ex. He could run a decent distance without stopping, but would be huffing and puffing like the average person afterwards.

Flexibility - Again, average at everything, he knows how to at least administer basic level first aid, he can cook some okay tasting food if asked to, and otherwise can step in as the 'doctor' or 'fighter' or 'distraction' if needed.

Stealth - Typically an unassuming/average joe in his civilian getup. If he ever needed to tail someone or blend in, he could actually very well do that due to, well, looking like an average joe!

Weaknesses:

Lack of Specialization - He can't be asked to have expert knowledge at anything. Ex. He could totally sew someone's wound shut, but he physically CANNOT give someone a lifesaving surgery

Terrible Leadership - He doesn't have a particular amount of charisma as his everyday civilian self. He doesn't know how to lead people into battle, or anything like it. He prefers an equal playing field, hence his building of a small 'commune,' as it could be called, out of the people in his apartment complex.

Very bad at self care - Can't care for himself very well, which is hilarious, considering the fact that he is average at everything else. He's tried everything, from sticker charts to self-care apps like Finch, Amaru & Voidpet garden, but nothing works. He just tries his best™️, only washing his hair when he remembers to, brushing his teeth when he reminds himself too. Cannot build good, healthy habits for himself to save his life.

appearence

height . 5'4 eye & hair color . green eyes, black hair description . black hair, green eyes, baby-ish face faceclaim . John Eyzen, performing as Mercutio in Romeo et Juliette 2001 in Paris. (faceclaim self explanatory if you looked at bro's name)

persona

likes . Crocheting, colorguard, napping, cooking dislikes . Track, long range combat, loud noises. overview . A typically closed off, standdoffish young man out of costume, and a kind, selfless, danger-defying hero in costume. He doesn't let the hard exterior fall in front of friends, and especially never in front of romantic partners; he can't have another Romeo incident.

misc

background . Ran away from home at age 16 after his childhood friend 'Romeo' (fake name), betrayed him by outing him to his family. His mutation had manifested three years before this, but Mercutio didn't realize until he was attacked by a Sentinel. Thanks to his total averageness at everything, he somehow just managed to escape it. He now resides in New York under the hero name 'Master of None' and tries to keep his peace/take care of his community.

notes

started a community garden on the roof of his apt. complex

runs a free mini library

crochets baby hats/blankets/etc. for homeless shelters in the winter.

has a habit of befriending stray animals

carries a backpack with snacks, a first aid kit, small crochet project, water bottles, and about $200 in cash with him on every patrol

[bonnibuckets]

— party boyfriend | leon kennedy

700 follower special!!

pairing: bbf leon x afab reader

warnings: smut! brother best friend leon, a little ooc leon, party setting, mentions of SA!, mention of alcohol!, pet names, degradation, praise, oral (m receiving), size kink, rough, almost getting caught, unprotected sex :0, creampie, public sex, leon saying no and stop a few times

synopsis: you get grabbed on at a party and leon is there to comfort you

wc: 2.9k+

note: this poll won so y’all get smut but for the ppl who wanted fluff I PROMISE NEXT FIC WILL BE!! this is also based on this audio, so credit to them for this🙏 (i didnt follow it down exactly to a t but it comes close) also now finishing this i feel guilty posting this bc it’s not 100% original but i hope y’all like it nonetheless

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

You heard the music blaring in the house and your head was slightly dizzy. You walked through the hallway and felt someone’s hand grab your ass. You immediately turned and slapped the hand away— some random creep “Got a fat ass” he smirked, and you felt sick to your stomach “fuck off” you huffed.

You wanted to punch him in the face, but you opted to just walk out of the house to get some fresh air to escape. You heard the creeps' insults as you walked away, but you ignored them. You opened the door and walked down the steps, you didn’t know what to do so you called your brother's best friend— Leon who is also at this stupid party.

“Hey?” you heard the ambiance of the party and could barely hear Leon, “Can you meet me outside please?” “What? Okay yeah, I’ll be there” He gruffed before hanging up. It took a few minutes before you heard the door open and close “What, what’s up?” Leon said a little annoyed— probably because you ruined his fun but you didn’t care right now.

“I need to talk to you,” you said and Leon rolled his eyes “I’m pretty sure I can guess what this is about, last time we came to one of these we kissed” You shook your head trying to explain but Leon cut you off “sure it happened I was drunk you were drunk, shouldn’t have been but we kissed” you felt a little angry at the fact he wouldn’t let you speak but you sighed and continued to listen.

“It happened, I get it okay you know, but I’m friends with your brother I’m not doing that again” you groan “No, it’s not about that! Some guy fucking grabbed on me,” you said frustrated. “Oh…gross, who was he?” “I don't know some fucking creep,” you said looking down.

“Well I'm sorry, just don't tell your brother, though he’ll never let you come to another one of these again” he chuckles and you raise an eyebrow at that, why would he care? “Why not?” you joked “Because you’re cool to hang out with I guess,” Leon said a little awkwardly, “So why did you drag me out here?” he questioned and you felt your cheeks burn.

“I don't know I was thinking maybe if the guy saw you with me he’d leave me alone” You shrugged now feeling a little stupid admitting your plan out loud. “Oh, so now if he gets hella trashed he’ll come to beat me up?” he laughed, “No!” you said panicking a little as Leon shook his head “Nah just saying you know telling you how it feels” you groan and roll your eyes.

“I’m just messing, it’s cool we can stay out here for a little while until you want to go back inside and drink or dance,” he said sitting on the steps and you followed. “Can we drink together?” you asked smiling, “No absolutely not, we cannot drink and dance together” he argued and you felt a little hurt but you scooted closer, “What are you doing?” he said a little shocked you ignored him and leaned your head on his shoulder.

He groaned “Fine. You can lean on me to “sell” the image I guess” You smirked and felt his warmth “Put your arm around me, it’ll sell it more” you teased wanting more. Leon cocked an eyebrow “No, I am not doing that” You frowned and begged “Pleaseeee?” he rolled his eyes. “Don’t frown at me from down there” he laughed.

You gasped “Down there?!” I’m not that fucking short asshole. “Yes down there” he laughed “You have to look up at me when talking, when we kissed I had to lay on the floor-“ you cut him off and punched his arm. “Ouch- okay okay” he laughed before wrapping an arm around you, “just 1 arm okay, I gotta look cool” he smiled.

“What if I want to get laid tonight, you’d ruin the chance” you laughed, he couldn’t be serious “Like someone would want to” he looked a little offended “Um yeah some girl totally would” he rolled his eyes.

You always had a little crush on Leon but you never acted on those feelings fully, the only time you did was once when drunk and Leon doesn’t count it. This time was different. You both were sober and you felt a little confident, you wanted him so you teased him.

“Why don’t we?” He looked at you like you were crazy. “Um, because I’ve known your brother for my whole life, and I'd rather him not catch us,” he said shaking his head and looking off into the street and you laughed, catching us kissing?” you smiled.

“No im not worried about kissing,” he said turning to look at you before leaning into your ear and whispering “im worried about him catching me fucking rearranging you” You immediately felt your breath hitch and your whole body heat up at his words as he pulled away and watched you get all flustered. Your heart filled with hope— maybe he felt the same about you, just maybe.

“And besides he’s inside right now,” Leon said pointing to the door, you both looked back “I don't think he can see outside the glass though, wait,” he said getting up and you followed “I don't think anyone can see for that matter,” he said looking inside.

He turned back and it looked like he had a revelation, “you, you just used this to get me close to you huh?” he said towering over you, you smirked— maybe a little but it wasn’t entirely your plan but you decided to bite the bullet and palm him through his jeans. You knew it would change the subject but also to let him know you wanted him, not like that bullshit drunk kiss.

He immediately reacted and looked down at you, “You cannot do that.” Leon let out a shaky breath, he looked at the door and furrowed his brows looking back at you “I think he’s coming you have to stop it” he said grabbing your wrist and pushing you into the door. Your breath hitched and you felt your heart beating out of your chest as you swallowed your spit dryly.

He pulled it away and looked at you sternly “You cannot be doing that understand? You’re being fucking bad” he said sucking his teeth, you felt yourself getting slick and you smiled looking up at him trying to make him break. “Fine” You smiled and turned around to look inside— pressing your ass against him. You chuckled and got onto your tiptoes and peered inside, “Oh yea? Gotta look inside, and rub that little ass on me huh?” he said, sucking in a breath.

“Gotta get on your tiptoes for that princess?” he teased and you felt your cheeks burn and you immediately turned around setting your feet flat, you looked down and saw his bulge. You smiled feeling beyond confident and he looked down to see what you were looking at and he practically read your mind, “Yes yes I’m hard” he tried to brush it off as if it was nothing, but you wouldn’t let him get away that easily.

“Why?” you smiled, of course, you knew why but teasing Leon was too much fun. “because you’re fucking gorgeous— Jesus okay, but no we cannot I’ve known your brother way longer and our friendship will last longer than any orgasm,” he said shaking his head trying to reason with you.

“Your dick says otherwise” you smirk, “yes okay but that’s not a valid point,” he said looking around to see if anyone was noticing but it was pitch black. “But I need you Leon,” you say squeezing your thighs to try and get any friction. His face immediately changed and you could tell you were breaking him, “huh, really now..how much?” he asked cautiously.

“So fucking bad, I’m dripping,” you said trying to press your body against him, he gently pushed you away “Okay okay— sorry but we cannot be doing this, absolutely not your brother is inside that house, so no” you felt frustrated and this was going nowhere so you decided to spice it up “fine, I’ll just go back inside,” you said turning around but Leon grabbed you “no don't just go back inside the creep is probably looking for you,” he said pulling you back.

“Then what do you want me to do?” you said turning back around, you knew if you put enough pressure on Leon he’d crack “Look- fuck I don’t know okay,” he said before you both heard footsteps and the door handle jiggled. Your heart dropped and you both panicked and immediately ran to the side of the house, Leon grabbed you and pulled you as fast as he could and covered your mouth with his hand “Shutupshutp just shut the fuck up” he whispered yelled.

“Sis? Are you out here?” you both heard and froze, you smirked— the perfect opportunity to test him, you immediately rubbed him through his pants. “Fuck no don't please come on” he whispered, the door closed and Leon let out a breath and you took that moment to get on your knees and unzip his pants. “Oh! my god” he said panicking as you pulled his cock out and looked up at him.

“Stop. Stop it” he said trying to get you off but you smiled and pumped him with your hands before kissing the tip. “Oh, my god, that’s not fucking fair” he moaned, and you smiled. You had broken through, “it’s so big” you teased and kissed the side, “of course you think it is it’s half your god damn size— god stop. stop it,” he said running his fingers through his hair.

“Oh my god, you have to stop” he moaned and shook his head “We can’t no stop,” he said but made absolutely no effort to pull you off. “You won okay, fuck” he said as you pushed up his shirt to see his trail and swirled your tongue at the tip making his knees buckle slightly.

You saw Leon give in to you and you never felt more proud, you popped off and smiled up at him. “Jesus okay fine, we’ll do it okay just— just this once,” he said pushing your hair out of the way “So fucking gorgeous with my cock in your hand princess” he smiled softly.

“Just suck my cock” he said panting and you immediately dove in, “oh shit yea just like that, make it sloppy,” he said closing one eye. You smiled and took him as far as was comfortable and sucked while pumping the rest. You popped off and spat on it before swirling your hand up and down it before paying attention to the tip, he moaned and entangled his fingers in your hair. Your heart was beating so fast, you’d been dreaming about this moment for years ever since you graduated from high school at 18 and left for college.

“Oh fuck, yea just like that— so fuckin’ dirty” he smiled and his core was tightening. You took him deep into your mouth and used your other hand to touch his balls and he immediately sucked in a breath and smiled, “Yeah keep going— come on baby” he moaned watching you devour him. “Ohh…oh yeah” he chuckled as his dick twitched in your mouth, “fucking drool all over it, be a good fucking girl f’me”

You were a mess down there, dripping out your panties, but you weren’t complaining at all. Watching Leon enjoy your mouth gave you validation like no other, you wanted more— no needed more. “Yeah so cute, you feel all that in your mouth?” he asked and you hummed and he winced feeling it, and chuckled. “Yeah well I’m gonna fucking use this cock on you like your a fleshlight— like a toy made just for me” he smiled.

You immediately moaned against him as you felt a jolt of pleasure send straight to your cunt. “Play with yourself” he moaned trying not to get too excited, “come on, rub that clit” he said desperately as you gagged on him. You reached down with one hand and dove into your panties, immediately moaning against him as your fingers met your clit.

You rubbed circles and slapped it gently before plunging 2 fingers in, “atta girl, such a good slut for me” he said as his breath was hitching slightly. “Yea drip all over the grass” he moaned and you kept fucking yourself with your fingers. He groaned and pulled you off abruptly and picked you up to stand on your feet, “turn— turn around fucking bend over” he said kissing your lips.

You immediately did hands pressing against the cold house, “good girl” he smiled and pulled down your panties to your thighs. He aligned his cock with your pussy and slowly went in, you both moaned as he went deeper, “oh my god” you said looking back. “So fucking good, hugging me so good” he smiled a toothy grin.

He shook his head and came back to reality “You’re okay?” he asked a little concerned and your heart swelled at the thought of him caring about you even in a moment like this, “good, so good” you huffed and pushed your hips back into his trying to get more. “Oh god,” he moaned as his hips met yours before pulling back and thrusting again. Your voice hitched and you tried to fuck yourself against him as well, “yea that’s right fuck” he chuckled and slapped your ass.

You went forward a little and gasped as he gripped the red mark before slapping it again, grabbing the fat of your ass roughly. He groaned and struggled to bend down to meet your ass, “fuck, it's hard bending down” he said breathlessly “Do— do you trust me?” he asked and you nodded.

“Good, I’m gonna pick you up and fuck myself into you how does that sound? Yeah, you won’t have to think about anything else but this dick okay?” He asked and you moaned and he pulled your panties to your ankles and spun you around and picked you up holding you tightly. “It's okay I won't drop you” he smiled and kissed your lips quickly, before pushing his dick back into you thrusting up and pulling you down slightly.

You both moaned at the new angle as he hit even deeper inside you, you felt so tiny in his arms but in a good way. It was turning you on so much as he buried his face into your neck, he moaned and pushed your back against the house and you wrapped your legs around his back as your panties fell to the ground.

He reached down and rubbed your clit as you felt yourself getting worked up, you knew if he kept pounding you so good you’d gush. “Yea, yea, shit, so good, you don't even have to think huh? You can just focus on being a whore for me yea?” he smiled and bit your neck as you moaned, he left sloppy kisses all along your neck.

“God wanna fill you up, but it's such a bad idea” he chuckled, you could feel you were losing it, “on birth control” you huffed out. Leon immediately grinned, “yea? Then I’m gonna stuff you full” he moaned and felt his hand cramping up but he didn’t care because he felt you tightening around him.

You moaned and wrapped your arms around his neck moaning his name as he kept pounding and rubbing you, “Oh god im so close” he moaned. All your senses were overloaded— the cold house on your back, Leo’s cock, his warm body, and the adrenaline from the risk of getting caught only fueled you and you felt your orgasm seconds away as he thrusts into you so hard and at the right angle.

Your eyes rolled back as you clawed at his back and squeezed around him gushing, he immediately stopped rubbing your clit and grabbed you by your thighs before ramming into you at an ungodly speed. “Oh fuck.. oh god yesses” you both moaned like a mantra before he sunk his teeth into your shoulder and came deep inside you.

You moaned in pain as you were panting and he groaned before slowly pulling out and setting you down. You smiled and huffed “So fucking good” you teased and he smiled “Yeah”. “Get your panties before anyone sees,” he says, tucking himself back in and zipping his zipper.

You did and looked up at him, he placed his hand on your shoulders and tried to fix your hair, “god everyone's gonna know what happened if you go back inside now” he chuckled “I don't care” You smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck as you stood on your tiptoes.

He chuckled and grabbed your waist, “yea?” he smiled before looking away and looking back at you “I know I only said once but um, maybe… if another boy tries something like that you know, maybe we can do…this again? Only at parties though— I can be…your little party boyfriend and protect you, sound good?” he smiled and you nodded, “yea I’d love that”

taglist 🏷️: @ghostkennedy @adaelines @konigbabe @rat-typewriter @meowsiee @dilucstruelover @antidesire @d34ng3l @alewesker

[sapphire-weapon]

another broke take i keep seeing is that ashley develops feelings for leon but that it’s not mutual, which is dumb bc even if leon isn’t as open about it (the ‘running from creeps’ and ‘good company’ lines notwithstanding), his body language is very telling imo.

holding on to her a little longer than he needs to during the church escape, touching her shoulder to check on her (when they’re saved by luis) or in reassurance (post-stabbing), gently cupping her head and tracing his fingers down her arm, reaching for her face again when she’s on the altar, grabbing her hand to pull her into the lift, and the way he always stops to help her up with both arms when she’s downed by enemies

even the fact that he’s literally being paid to protect her can’t justify the tenderness of all these little touches. i highly doubt “touch the president’s daughter like she’s the only thing that keeps you going” was in his job description. don’t even get me started on his boyish, almost bashful, “i can catch ya” like literally what the fuck

I think, after being forced into the shadows for eighteen fucking years by this fandom -- and by Aeon fans especially -- I've been hesitant to make any definitive statements on Leon and Ashley's relationship outside of its effects on Leon's character arc (and reaffirming over and over and over again that Ashley disappears from the series, as though to soothe people's reactions??).

But I was on discord talking to @godtier earlier, and once I actually said it out loud and then actually got an agreement from someone who could not be paid to give a fucking shit about this ship -- I'm just going to go ahead and say it for the wider fandom.

Resident Evil 4 Remake was written as a romance, and the romance is between Leon and Ashley.

With the new scenes they've added in, it's literally structured like a romance story is. I'll even outline it for you.

1) Call to Adventure / The Meet Cute

Literally their first meeting in the church, culminating with the catch and that moment of longing as they lock eyes while Leon continues to hold her just a few seconds too long.

2) Refusal of the Call / Rejection of the Relationship

At first, Leon treats Ashley solely as his mission objective. ("Hey can we take a break?" "Sorry, we need to keep moving.") And Ashley, for a good bit, doesn't trust him at all but goes with him because she has no other choice. ("Seriously, this cannot be happening.")

3) Acceptance of the Quest / Giving the relationship a chance

The escape from the cabin sequence up to the "seems this isn't your first time running from creeps." line. This is where we see them actually start to warm up to each other, and Ashley, for the first time, believes Leon can and will really get her out of there.

4) Trials and Temptations / Three Dates

The three dates are:

1) Ashley busting the window open after the Mendez boss fight, helping brush the embers off of Leon, and helping to pull him to his feet

2) Salazar's introduction ("The girl's just fine. With me.")

3) The road to the Water Hall (Leon jumping across the chandeliers + this is the first time the "knight and the princess" allegory is stated)

5) Midpoint Crisis / I-need-you-but-can’t-have-you

The stab followed by Ashley running away in tears, terrified of hurting Leon again and horrified that he saw her like that. This is also the second time that the "knight and the princess" allegory is stated.

6) The Road Back / Pulling Back Together

The pep talk. Leon is openly vulnerable for the first time ever in this game, and Ashley is grateful to have him with her. Note that Luis calls Leon "Prince Charming" immediately following this scene.

7) The Fall

Ashley stating "I won't run. Wait for me, Leon." And then Leon following up with the "I can catch ya" line.

8) Dark moment / The Break Up

Leon sitting at Ashley's bedside waiting to turn and ready to shoot himself. He's already half given up, and some part of him has started to believe that they won't actually make it out of here -- not together, at least.

9) The Sacrifice

"This time, it has to be different." Leon is forced to challenge the assertion by Ada and Krauser that he hasn't changed, and he even has to prove it to himself. He destroys Ashley's plaga, holding her hand the whole time, smiles breathlessly, then collapses to the floor.

10) Declaration

"Hey... we're a team, right?" "Keep this up? I'll be out of a job."

11) The HEA

Leon and Ashley literally ride off into the sunrise together towards a happily ever after.

The original RE4 is not structured this way. Even if I tried to, I couldn't slot Leon and Ashley's scenes from OG into this outline.

And the romance angle is reinforced over and over and over again through repeated use of the "knight and the princess" allegory beyond what I've even listed in the outline. You know, the fairy tales about the knight who saves the princess and they fall in love and live happily ever after. In addition to Salazar saying it, there's the "Prince Charming" line from Luis, Ashley references it when she jokes that Leon should literally put on the knight's armor -- and, on a meta level, Leon has a fucking fantasy hero costume.

There's even goddamn dialogue in the game where Ashley says to Leon, "I knew you'd come" -- which is basically just ripped right out of the Princess Bride.

And to continue the meta reinforcement of it, Leon and Ashley literally have a matching set of alternate costumes called "Romantic" -- and they are fucking Romeo & Juliet inspired. Come the fuck on, man. They couldn't have been more on the nose about it if they'd tried.

And this is in addition to all the other shit you already pointed out in your ask.

And there's the fact that they completely removed any hint of Ada possibly even remotely being a love interest for Leon in this game. The focus remains solely on Ashley and the bond that she and Leon build together.

Leon and Ashley's relationship in RE4 Remake is canonically romantic in nature, and I'm so fucking tired of pretending like it's not.

[scaratrina]

Tag Game: Character Profile

Rules: fill out the information for one of your OCs!

my entire existence now orbits around Yekaterina like she’s the sun and i’m the moon with abandonment issues so YES i will be doing her. in every sense of the word. spiritually, emotionally, biblically. she owns me.

if you're seeing this, congrats! you’ve been emotionally hexed into doing this too. i don’t have enough mutuals to tag more ppl (my kingdom for a friend pls i am just a sad adult with wifi)

shoutout to @evilmenenjoyer for tagging me and enabling this descent into character obsession <3

(i got real unhinged with the answers so there’s a read more bc i love u and your poor little thumbs. ok LET'S GOOOOOOO also i’m doing this on my phone so pls pretend typos are intentional aesthetic choices)

Name: Yekaterina Mikhaylovna Zhdanova, as Russian as it gets. quick name lore drop: Yekaterina is the russian form of Katherine, meaning “pure”, Mikhaylovna means “daughter of Mikhail” (daddy issues: activated), Zhdanova comes from zhdat, meaning “to wait”. girl’s literally “pure daughter of mikhail who waits.” like yeah no wonder

Species: tragically, only human.

Age: 25 and aging poorly.

Gender: female, against her will.

Appearance: short answer? mikey madison coded but only bcs anora dropped like a gift from god right when i needed a visual. long answer? she's about 175cm which, in saiko's words from the upcoming voodoo dolly chapter, makes her look like “a doll some kid tried to stretch like taffy.” like she’s all legs, short torso, proportions be freakin. eyes? dark brown but like, not aesthetic hazel dark. these are ‘black holes in broad daylight’ dark. her hair’s naturally light brown but she dyes it darker. moles scattered across her skin, freckles come out when she stands in the sun too long (not often tho bc the sun is a luxury she cannot afford)

(Niragi just texted me to say she has small boobies but like ok shut up king ur face is uneven)

Occupation: she’s a hostess. she’s been hostessing since she was 22-ish, right after finishing uni. truly a rags-to-trauma pipeline.

Family: ok so here’s why I had to put a 'read more' on this post. her biological father? ghosted so hard he might as well be a cryptid. never met the man. But fuck him, she had enough family. Yekaterina grew up in Sovetskaya Gavan, a fishing port where the wind screams louder than ur inner thoughts. lived with her mom, Irina, her uncle Nikolai and her maternal grandparents (and here we go):

oh my god okay so Galina Anatolyevna. babushka. where do we even start. first of all: she’s built like the kind of woman you don’t offer help to, because she’ll deck you with the same hand she’s using to carry three sacks of potatoes and a live chicken. born sometime in the tail-end of the 1920s probably, but refuses to confirm her age because “a lady never tells” (except she absolutely does, just lies about it every single time).

galina was a nurse back when needles were the size of knitting needles and anesthesia was “bite this leather strap and think of the Motherland.” she worked through winters that froze your spit midair and summers that smelled like fish and diesel. she could stitch up a wound with one hand and stir soup with the other.

her first husband? dead within a year. nobody asks what happened. galina just says “he had weak lungs” and then looks into the middle distance like she’s listening to ghosts. (he did die of tuberculosis tho) second husband lasted longer. a sailor, he cheated once and came home to find all his belongings in the snow and a goat in his bed. the goat’s name was boris and it stayed. third husband, viktor, he was the one. she met him in the 50s while throwing a boot at a street performer who was off-key. viktor caught the boot, handed it back, and said “you have good aim, comrade.” she married him a week later. he brought her tea in the mornings.

she raised irina with the same tenderness you use to handle live grenades, firm, loud, and with many slaps to the back of the head “for thinking stupid thoughts.” she wasn’t like that with Katyusha tho. when yekaterina was born, she said “finally, someone with my nose” and then stole the baby for two weeks. no one stopped her. they didn’t dare. would 100% survive the borderlands out of sheer will and a rolling pin.

dedushka, formerly Viktar Leanidavich Barysevich, but he’s gone by Viktor Leonidovich since 1944 when he dragged himself halfway across a war-torn continent and assumed the name of a dead Russian soldier to stay alive. he was seventeen, half-starved, a soldier by force not choice. when the battalion fell, he didn’t go back. instead, he kept walking east (taking the train). he hit Sovetskaya Gavan, he’d buried his real name, burned the last of his documents, and decided: no more war. i’m gonna fish now. said if the sea ever kills him, at least it’s honest.

viktar/viktor still smokes like he’s in a noir film. his bedtime stories? 70% soviet propaganda, 30% deeply unverified war tales, 100% traumatizing. he calls everyone “comrade” half-ironically, and thinks western tv is THE enemy (but won’t stop watching Columbo reruns dubbed in russian). retired now, but still tries to teach his grandkids how to gut a fish and overthrow a government “just in case.”

five kids followed. irina was the fourth born and the favorite (though both deny it like it’s classified intel). the full chaotic line-up of Yekaterina’s uncles and aunt:

1. alexei (eldest, the prototype) - came out looking fifty years old and hasn't changed since. tried to be the responsible one but it’s hard when your siblings are actual goblins. joined the navy at 18, got a tattoo of an anchor, and now tells long-winded stories that start with “when I was your age” and end with someone throwing up on a submarine.

2. mikhail (the feral one) - born angry. probably bit someone before he could walk. constantly covered in bruises and mysterious stains, always had a slingshot or firecracker on him. grew up to become a mechanic and now swears exclusively in engine noises. 

3. lidya (the girlboss) - eldest daughter. had her life planned at 7, including a wedding with a man named sergei who owned goats and a truck. didn't happen, but she did become a mid-level bureaucrat with a death glare that can silence grown men. galina's secret weapon!!

4. irina (the favorite, allegedly) - the youngest for a looong time. learned how to lie with her face at age 10 and never looked back. had that “don’t touch me” aura since birth. the only one galina would share her secret vodka stash with. ran off young though.

5. nikolai (the accident) - 12 years younger than irina and everyone knows he was a surprise. the baby. spoiled rotten and still insists he “had it hardest.” soft, sweet, probably writes poetry in secret and denies it with his whole chest. galina calls him “my little cabbage” and he still blushes. works some cushy job in Vladivostok and sends his siblings passive-aggressive postcards like “hope you’re all still alive.”

brief backstory drop: Irina was supposed to be the golden child, good grades, violin kid, big dreams, but ended up pregnant at 20ish and decided if life was gonna beat her down, she’d fight back. raised Yekaterina with the help of Galina (who still yells at the TV like it’s 1987) and Viktor (who once scared off a tax collector with a harpoon). then viktor died, dropped dead on the pier one foggy Friday. irina did not take it well, like at all. so what did she do? girl packed her bags, grabbed Yekaterina, and very illegally dipped outta russia. like full-on cartoon escape arc. no papers, no plan, just raw emotional energy and a fake passport. destination sapporo, japan. irina ended up meeting Yamamoto Haruki, a soft-spoken salaryman whose biggest crimes were unpaid parking tickets and loving his mother too much who lived near the Shioya beach (that's the house Yekaterina spends her teenage summers at after said mom died not even a decade later). just a guy. wore button-ups. always had a pen. worked a boring desk job at a mid-sized import company.

Irina and Haruki got married after a month and by some miracle of paperwork and sheer nepotism, Haruki managed to legally adopt Yekaterina as his own daughter. not emotionally, not in the “let’s have family bonding time” way. but in the “i will sign every document to keep you safe, and then go back to filing taxes” kind of way. and listen. that’s love in its own weird spreadsheet-coded way.

THIS IS IRINA BCS I SAID SO (bonus parallels with her daughter igh)

Pets: She doesn't have time nor the space for them in tokyo but back in shioya she had. seven. cats. not hers, they just showed up and never left, four-legged squatters with zero respect for personal space and impeccable vibes. they were street cats with benefits. each one had a name SO: Zayka (little bunny), Mochi (soft, round you get it), Kotenok (kitten), Kumo (cloud or spider, depends on the mood), Pushok (fluff), Bublik (bagel), Yoru (night).

Best friends: people can only make fun of you if they know where it hurts. so, she’s emotionally constipated, but self-aware. she knows she walls herself off. she just thinks it’s smarter that way. at TUFS (tokyo university of foreign studies), there were a few people she clicked with. not best friends, but friendly collisions. they still text sometimes: birthday stickers, drunk selfies, memes in three languages.

Describe her room: chaos is the dominant aesthetic. the floor is buried. half heels, half clothing that may or may not be clean. LOOOOTS OF BOOKS, no libary or space for them. there's a glittery red bra slung over a plastic chair, a wrinkled hostess dress clinging to the doorknob like it’s begging not to be worn again tonight. a chipped vanity mirror leans against the wall, surrounded by half-dead falsies, stray bobby pins, and a shrine of makeup. scattered receipts, crumpled tissues, a stack of empty combini bento boxes with chopsticks jammed in at odd angles. a coffee cup filled with pens that don’t work. a full ashtray next to a Hello Kitty cup half full of flat soda. her bed isn’t really a bed; it’s a mattress, aggressively unmade. the bed is under the window bcs she's lazy and she smokes in bed.

for visual learners lmao:

Way of speaking: Voice is naturally low, dry, and raspy, like she smoked through childhood (she did) and drank gravel (she might have). but when she’s on the job, it shoots up into this nasal, fake-sweet tone. she has a wide mouth, unsettlingly wide. the kind that shows all her teeth when she talks, and she does smile when she talks, a lot.

she speaks Tokyo standard Japanese with perfect grammar and absolutely no accent, unless she’s been on the phone with her mama. then it’s like someone dropped a gulag in Shibuya. and sometimes, when she’s annoyed? Kansai-ben comes out. not because she’s from there, but because it makes her sound funnier and meaner. she picked it up from her uni friend Tomo and now uses it exclusively to insult men who try to touch her without tipping.

Physical Characteristics (posture, gestures, attitude): back straight, shoulders down, like she’s always being watched and kind of likes it. resting bitch face. gestures a lot with her hands, not because she’s dramatic (she is), but because the nails demand it.

Items in her bag/purse: pack of gum (the mint kind that tastes like it's trying to kill you), half-empty lipstick, nail glue (just in case), two receipts from when she bought something way overpriced, a bottle of water that's been in there for 3 days, random hair ties, phone charger that’s always tangled, broken compact mirror, small knife (for... safety?), a crumpled napkin, 3 different lip balms, credit card

Hobbies: Taking long walks in the city when she wants to feel lost, debating random topics with herself, reading weird self-help books that she’ll never actually use, scrolling through fashion stores but never actually buying anything, collecting books and lots of broken things (but pretending she’s not hoarding) LIKE a single chair with a broken leg, it’s not usable, it’s just “part of the room now”. chipped statues from flea markets. a cracked hand mirror that she insists is “good luck now”. single earrings she finds, she makes up stories about who lost them and why.

Favorite sport: ice skating/figure skating, she used to watch it with her grandma on a tiny TV in the kitchen and continued when she moved to Japan.

Abilities/talents/powers: girl has a freakish core strength from doing flips on a rug-beating bar as a kid. and don’t even get me started on the poledancing, it’s like her abs were made to handle all the crap life throws at her. with sturdy as fuck ankles, her equilibrium is some next-level witchcraft, have you seen the amount of crazy heel shapes strippers pulls off? meanwhile, she’s not gonna win any sprinting races, she’s more of a 'take her time and still make it look effortless' kind of gal. mentally tho, she's a language sponge. i’m talking three completely different alphabets. russian, japanese, english? doesn’t matter, it’s like she was born with a multilingual brain and a ridiculous ability to absorb whatever's thrown at her. can’t even imagine the mental gymnastics her brain does switching between all of them

Relationships (how they are with other people): Yekaterina’s been through so much crap, dealing with Niragi was like a twisted cherry on top of a really messed up cake. and before anyone even says his name, just know he wasn't the first 'monster' in her life. nah, she’s met worse, way worse, but somehow those earlier demons built her for the current nightmare. now she’s emotionally avoidant, like, “you can be here but don’t touch me,” and trust??? forget about it. this girl struggles with intimacy, don’t even try getting close unless you’re prepared for a cold shoulder or a sharp word to keep things at arm’s length. and if she does open up, it’s probably not in the way you’d hope, more like a casual "you can stay but I’m still doing my own thing", always acting like she’s fine doing her solo thing even if it’s literally destroying her inside.

Fears: Yekaterina has this gnawing fear of being dragged back to Russia like she is a failure, having to deal with her mom’s expectations of a life that’s never really gonna happen. she’s terrified she’ll end up stuck, forced to sell her body forever, either through some loveless marriage or, worse, in the sex work she pretends doesn’t exist in her head. that job she’s in? it’s ruining her life slowly, bit by bit, and she can’t shake the fear that it’s all gonna end in some messed up, irreversible way. on top of all that, she’s always paranoid about being abandoned. it’s like, if she lets anyone close, they’ll just dip, and she’s left holding the bag. on a much lighter tone, the one thing she fears more than all of that? routine. like, just the thought of mind-numbing, soul-sucking repetition every damn day makes her skin crawl.

Faults: where do we even begin. Let’s just say, her mama really went above and beyond to screw her up. emotionally distant? check. this girl has trust issues so deep, you need a shovel to find the bottom. everyone’s a potential liar or traitor in her eyes, even the ones who mean well. she’s got walls so high, you need a ladder just to get a peek inside. she’s also self-reliant to the point of being too independent, no one can help her, because nobody knows what she needs better than she does (or so she tells herself) the world’s problems don’t exist unless she wants them to. if things get too close to reality, she’ll shut down or isolate herself. WHO THE FUCK taught her the survivalist way of life but forgot to mention that maybe, just maybe, you don’t have to go through life alone, IRINA???

Good points: she makes you feel cooler just by standing next to her. this isn’t a personality trait it’s just physics ok im kidding. loyally feral btw. she’s ride or die in the most inconvenient way possible. like if she’s decided you’re one of her people? congrats. she’ll be emotionally unavailable but will absolutely show up at 2am. she remembers things, the little things, like your favorite snack, the way you twist your hair when you’re anxious, the fact that you ate seafood ten years ago, got food poisoning and never ate seafood ever again. genuinely kind in the “i will hex your enemies and buy you cake” way; Chaotic Good you know. actually soft if she goes to therapy!

What they want more than anything else: she wants to be chosen, not for usefulness, not for how hot she looks in red lipstick, not for her drama or her ability to lie better than most people breathe. she wants someone to look at the worst parts of her, the broken, mean, self-sabotaging bits, and choose her. (so enemies to lovers kinda) she wants to belong somewhere, to someone, not like property, not like some toxic romcom mess, but like, soul-level, scary-level belonging. she wants to be able to breathe without checking the exits. and she wants to be held like she’s not something anyone has to survive!! (go to therapy I say as they drag me in the asylum)

[gotyouanyway]

genuine question here, is it not a good skill to learn to explain symptoms outside of diagnostic language? i'm sometimes unable to do certain house chores or tasks if i'm having an awful brain week (i'm on the autism spectrum and my sensory issues are the first thing to get bad when everything else is going bad). i could tell my coworker "hey i'm on the autism spectrum and the sound of the shop vac makes me overstimulated to the point that it's painful and could cause a panic attack" or i could say "hey, would you mind vacuuming today? the sound of the vacuum is really painful for me. i'll wipe down countertops." i resist using diagnostic language in general bc i don't think it's anyone else's business what neurodivergencies i have, and i don't think people should have to out their diagnoses in order to be taken seriously.

i understand completely that the OP uses blaming and somewhat language about their symptoms, and that only creates shame. but something we talk about about wrt accessibility is the fact that some people's symptoms are incompatible with other people's symptoms. someone having a meltdown might be incompatible with my sensory issues around sudden or persistent loud noises. is it not okay to acknowledge that without self-shaming?

it is not someone's fault if they are having an episode or meltdown and they should not self-shame for that, or apologize as if it's something wrong that they did that they should work to change. but i think acknowledging the way that meltdown might impact others is also part of living in a community. isn't this the whole point of redirecting behavior? is it ableist to compromise at "my bedroom is my safe space to have a meltdown, but i understand doing it in the living room makes the living room impossible for you to work in"?

again these are genuine questions because i never want someone to feel shame for any symptoms they experience, especially ones they can't control. but OP's example was about their RSD causing them to hurt their friend and blame them for something they didn't do. is there not a middle ground here? sometimes symptoms are things we cannot control and shouldn't be shamed for, and also things that can hurt others, and i don't think i should need to give someone my diagnostic history to prove i need that accommodation.

to begin with, yes i agree that it's a vital skill to learn to discuss symptoms without using diagnostic language. i'm not going to get into the issue of psych diagnosis and diagnostic language in general but yeah, it's important to be able to get away from it for the reasons you mentioned. there's no reason you should have to disclose diagnoses in order to be accommodated/understood.

i think op of the screenshotted post was using the diagnostic language as a strawman: the person making a "bad apology" says the name of their symptom (which we're supposed to believe is the wrong thing to do), while the person making a "good apology" doesn't mention any symptoms but describes them instead. but as you demonstrated with your vacuum example, it's perfectly possible to say the exact same things with and without diagnostic language. so really the "good apology" could've said "i have rsd" as well and still been a good apology for the sake of op's argument.

all that^ is to say, diagnostic language itself is not what i took issue with in the screenshotted post.

my issue with the screenshotted post (and the point being made by the person who screenshotted it) is less to do with specific language and more to do with the attitude of people who want to "depathologize" everything SO much to the point where symptoms of mental illness/neurodivergence become basically a personality trait that is wholly your responsibility to keep under control, and something you must apologize for when it has any negative effect on other people.

i think the point being made in that post, or at least the point i'm making right now, is that sometimes people's symptoms suck for the people around them. it's unfortunate, but that's just life, and sometimes it's nobody's fault and nobody has to take such deep personal responsibility for it that they feel genuine shame.

think of it this way: if i have a meltdown, it's out of EVERYBODY'S control, not just mine. if i could prevent it, i would. if my friend could prevent it, they would. and it sucks for everyone involved, we're ALL having a bad time. so beyond a perfunctory "i'm sorry that sucked so bad", why should i be apologizing and beating myself up and promising to do better next time when i know i can't?

now of course there's middle ground - there's rarely a firm line between "in control" and "out of control" especially when it comes to emotional outbursts, and yes people have conflicting needs. nobody is saying it's ableist to acknowledge this, or to expect people to try their best. what IS ableist is how the burden of "compromise" is so much more often placed on the person experiencing the symptoms to stop being such a problem for everyone around them. even in your living room example, the person having a meltdown is expected to do everything they can to not disrupt people but you make no mention of the person who's being disrupted having to, like, just cope with it, because sometimes shit happens. i'm not saying the person with symptoms has no responsibility or should NEVER have to apologize if they hurt someone. i'm just saying sometimes there's no winners in situations like these and that compromise and understanding need to come from both sides

[evilgaygothgf]

How easy would they fall in love?

How easy would the the group chat members fall in love (imo)

a/n: this is kinda short since it’s my first post here 😞

Isaac

I feel like he wouldn’t pay you much mind at first, but as soon as you laughed at something he said or did or made a witty comeback at one of the other other boys, he’d be hooked

Like you’re all hanging out at the group house and he’s trying to jump into the convo and make a comeback at one of the guys, but like everyone is loud so they can’t hear him the first time, but he looks over and sees you laughing at whatever he said

You boost his ego (as if he needs it any bigger 🙄 /j ) and he eats that shit up

He can NOT hide his feelings for shit

This guy things he’s Mr Stone Cold out here and that you don’t have a clue

But he visibly gushes like big ol googly eyes boinging out of his head at you THIS FOOL CANNOT KEEP HIS COOL AROUND YOU

Softwilly

I think this man would swoon as soon as he saw your smile.

His pov would be like those movie scenes where everything goes blurry but you, you’re surrounded by an ethereal glow, birds singing and shit.

Boy would start floating like Tom and jerry when there’s a delicious pie smell in the air all 🤤 and wtv lmaoo

Yumi

Idk but I feel like he’s a tough cookie when it comes to stuff like this

Like you’d definitely be catching feelings first in this situation

He would probably start falling for you after you’ve known each other for a good bit of time and you’ve started rubbing off on him

He realizes you’re the only person besides him with an ounce of logic when you’re around the boys /j obv

You playfully mock him like the guys do, but he likes it when you do it and just plays like he hates it

Larry

He’d be besties with you at first I think

You’d join in on his and Tanner’s antics

The three of you would be dumb & dumber & dumbest

And like one day the two of you are hanging out alone and he realizes he has feelings for you 😑😐😑😐 (pretend they’re like blinking or smth idk)

And suddenly it’s like every time you come around now, Tanner is nowhere to be seen and it’s just a “coincidence” that you and Larry have to hang out without Tanner

Boy is crushing so hard but he really drags it out before ever saying anything to you bc I feel like he would like how pure it all feels…like he’s got his own little secret to himself yknow? Little mischievous guy

Tanner

This sweet boy

Like

Not playing favorites here but like

He’s a grown ass man but he’s babygirl and I’ll fight to the death over it

He’d fold. 😐

So fast

You play into whatever mischief he cooks up and it gets him all giggly and shit swinging his legs kicking his feet type shit

He’s so obvious about his feelings for you

Y’all send 0.5 selfies back and forth to each other and he is dying every time he gets one from you

Puts it in a special album on his phone and everything

Please be good to him

Grunk

Lil Grunky boy

He’s kind of like Isaac where he thinks he seems all cool and collected, but he’s so visibly nervous when you’re around

Tripping over his words

Blushing like crazy when you talk to him

Boy is SMITTEN

He tries to treat you like “one of the bros” thinking it’ll keep his crush on you secret

But if the group chat guys find out he has a crush on you it’s OVER for him

0 secrets at that point

Every time you’re around they’re making obvious pokes at Grunk about you

Obv all in fun, but like, if this boy gets in his feels over you, you’d know so fast

Thanks for reading!

[jemmo]

utsukushii kare really said we’re going to take two of the most fascinating, interesting, well-characterised characters to have ever been written and not just stick them in the same show, but put them in one of the most incredible relationships to be seen on screen and i cannot thank them enough for it. seriously, if you consider the fact that at this point we’re at ep 8 of a 30 minute runtime show; that’s 4 hours. i’ve watched other bls, heck even other ordinary shows, that can’t even cram enough characterisation into a character that hira or kiyoi have in their little fingernail. im not joking. and nothing shows that better than kiyoi in this ep.

i love that we’re already getting an episode from his perspective. we had to wait all the way until ep 4 of season 1 to see things from his side, and that was such an amazing twist and reveal and still to this day that ep makes me cry. but im so glad we get to see his perspective sooner. bc we don’t need that shock twist anymore, instead it serves as a good balance to see where both our characters are at in the first 2 eps. and yet again, seeing things from kiyoi’s pov just opens up the absolute treasure trove that is his character. there are so many stand out points from this ep that i wanna mention but I’ll wait until my big ‘favourite parts of utsukushii kare s2 ep2’ post to list them all. what i wanna say here is that every bit of his character we get to see in this ep comes together so well to create such an interesting, multi-faceted and well-rounded character that it’s kind of astounding. we start off with his softness and vulnerability that’s countered perfectly against hira’s timid reaction, and then we jump back to high school to see this full on longing and the frustration that comes with that, waiting to be confessed to. i wanted to say this about the first season but this serves a good opportunity too; I find it so interesting how they portray hira and kiyoi’s ‘seme and uke’ dynamic (im gonna use those terms bc i can’t think of any better way to describe it, just know im referring more to a more dominant vs more submissive personality, like the confesser vs the confesse, and not anything sexual). You could so easily watch this show, hear the premise, even see the characters, hira and his chronic shyness, kiyoi and his undeniable popularity, and easily place those labels; hira the uke, kiyoi the seme. but in reality, kiyoi so clearly wants to be the uke, and very much is the uke. he begs in his head for hira to confess his feelings fo him, half bc maybe he needs hira to be brave where he can’t be, but I think also half bc he just wants to be confessed to. He wants the boy he likes to tell him he likes him, just like he wants to cuddle in his lap and be looked after. it probably stems from this want to be loved, chosen to be loved, and be cared for where he felt he wasn’t before, but it’s just so refreshing and such an interesting subversion of expectations, to see inside cool, popular kiyoi’s head and it’s just him begging for this shy, nobody kid to like him, and say it out loud.

and then I’ve touched on this before, but you get to see his earnest drive and passion to do what he loves. the cool kid that should fit the stereotype of never caring about anything, pushing to do the thing he loves, putting himself out there. I just can’t describe how excellent of a subversion that is. and the way he is with people at work, with Anna, polite and cordial and sweet, it’s such a reverse of kiyoi’s tsundere shortness and bluntness with hira that it not only shows us that yes, we weren’t hallucinating, there really is an infinite pool of softness within kiyoi that pours out more and more every time we see him, but also shows us that kiyoi is maybe only his true self with Hira. he’s not this polite, nice boy, nor is he this cool, cold popular guy, he’s somewhere in the middle, a fascinating mix of both, that only hira gets to see the full extent of, and I think that says a lot about how comfortable he is with Hira, and how much he trusts him. as much as it may be bad that hira will never find fault with kiyoi, it also makes him his sanctity, his true safe place, where he can breathe and grow and truly be whatever he wants, soft, angry, cute, cool, vulnerable, hira will take it all and adore it no matter what.

and then we get his jealousy of koyama, his protectiveness and possessiveness of hira. it’s kind of endearing how he still feels these things when hira shows him such endless devotion, it’s a testament to how normal he sees their relationship compared to hira, and how he therefore allows himself to feel normal relationship things, including possessiveness. but also in this scene i really love how kiyoi is let’s himself doubt himself, and only when it comes to hira. i feel like we’ve only ever seen him been unsure of himself when it comes to the things he loves, namely his dream of being a performer, and hira. he only looses confidence when he doesn’t do well in the competition in high school, and is only ever doubtful when it comes to hira’s feelings about him, and how he is with hira, maybe bc they’re the only things he truly wants to last forever. so what does he do, just like he does with his acting career? he puts in sincere effort. he humbles himself taking that recipe from koyama, and despite his cluelessness and clear lack of skills, he still tries his absolute hardest to do something for hira. he cooks him a meal, one of the most ordinary and sincere expressions of love. and his shy smile the whole time, him waiting excitedly for hira to come home, it’s such a fantastically endearing contrast from the cold, removed kiyoi we know early in s1 that you almost can’t reconcile them as the same character, and yet the steps that got us here make it clear that they are in fact the same person, that both those people live inside kiyoi and that’s amazing. and of course something as ordinary as cooking a meal for your boyfriend can never be normal for hira and kiyoi but the chaos unfolds is what makes them absolutely them. it mirrors what kiyoi says at the start of the ep about Hira, ‘if it wasn’t disgusting, it wouldn’t be hira’. It’s the same for kiyoi, and the same for their relationship. they don’t want to change it fundamentally, don’t want to take away the things that make it them, they just want to find a way to take this thing they both want and love and build it, strengthen it, so it can last. and i’ll say it until I’m blue in the face, but that’s why kiyoi’s personality, his bluntness, works so well for hira. it provides this iron wall of reassurance based in truth that he needs. I think ‘im not dating a pebble’ might be my stand out line from a bl in 2023 already but it’s also so ridiculously laced in meaning. Kiyoi doesn’t see hira as just some rock, some insignificant thing on the side of the road, that’s not what he’s dating. He’s dating hira, the person. And I think this push for hira to see himself as a person is only something that kiyoi can do because, in a way, hira was the one to see Kiyoi first. I’m a different way, because of the complex hira still has around kiyoi, he may not be a person yet, but hira still saw him in a way no one else did because he cared enough to look and keep looking. He stared and stared at every bit of kiyoi, including the uncool parts, the embarrassing parts, the sweet parts, the upset and angry parts, he’s the one that saw it all and never once looked away. The invisible kid made him feel seen. And I think for someone that’s always looked at but never seen, that’s what you really want.

So yes, this may have collapsed into another ramble, but I hope I can just convey some of the sense of how whole of a character kiyoi feels, even just by the points in this ep. And I just love that he’s allowed to be it all, be chaotic and messy and imperfect and a work in progress while still helping hira along too. I’ve never seen a bl couple that feel so much like they’re growing together, figuring themselves out as people and as a couple and it’s just so fucking refreshing and interesting and beautiful to watch and i will never ever shut up about it

[sunnywalnut]

I'm sorry this shit is making me laugh so fucking hard.

But also I want to add to the original post that yes, this does include things that are "problematic" or "stereotypical" bc if there's one thing people will do it's stereotype. And some are more harmful than others. But minors and children don't fucking know that yet.

Be a nice person or BLOCK them so you don't turn out to be an ass. It's really that simple. You don't need to gut every single person you see online, even if what they're saying or doing is problematic. Cause in the end. You don't really know who "means" it versus who's just ill informed. You're not omniscient. You don't know everything. "BUT SUNNY THEY SAID-" I give give a shit what they said. You don't know why they said it. "BUT THEY-" shhhhh, shhhh my sweet summer child. Shut up. You don't know anything. You cannot physically peek into their brain and know all of their motives and reasonings, even if they share everything they have ever believed in online. Because in the end, people lie.

They lie to make themselves look better. They lie for attention. They lie to weasel out of accountability. And sometimes they lie without knowing they're lying.

There is no such thing as the absolute truth. We are not the High Council sorting through Members to meet in Valhalla. We are bored people on the Internet with morning better to do than waste time judging other people.

Cause yes. I judge people too.

But I'd rather judge them silently and find out I'm wrong later than judge them out loud and find out that dude was actually just a 13yo who finally got diagnosed with autism and doesn't know what that shit means yet.

Yeah. Seeing bad stereotypes is shitty as fuck. And definitely call them out. Because you and I both know that there's a whole metric FUCKTON of bullshit out there.

But being an asshole just ADDS to the bullshit. It doesn't get rid of it. Because while you're over here tearing them a new one, people are watching you and thinking "yeah... I do agree with them... But I don't think I want to. They seem really aggressive and I don't feel safe"

Even if all you are is intimidating, people will STILL find you to be a threat. And they'd rather stay silent on the matter than join the person who's telling a random 13yo to fuck off and die(because yes. This is a genuine comment I've seen some people share with others)

Nobody's perfect. But the best we can do about it is acknowledge that and move on. It's not up to us to eradicate every single perceived threat. It's up to us to block people when we don't agree with their content. Because that's the least harmful way of going about it.

Alright? Alright.

Thank you.

My experience on Twitter.Com:

Person: I hate this thing therefore everyone should hate it too

The comments: holy shit I hate this thing too. It's so awful! You can totally tell that this thing was made bc of stereotypes and to harm people on purpose

The thing: *is not inherently problematic, but has some elements that are kinda questionable and should be called into question*

Two Days Later

Person: whoops! Turns out the Creator of this thing is a minor and didn't know that it was problematic! I'm sooooo sorry you're getting hate for it and am in total support of you.

The Creator: Thank you so much for the support❤️ it's been super hard bc it was also based off of personal experience *Is very young and impressionable, will now internalize the idea that making mistakes is unforgivable forever, you can never learn from them ever, and also adults can and will come for your throat and unborn children just because they don't like something*

[raindrvq]

mischa headcanon time !!

except its all just me projecting random things onto him wooooo

ik i already said he was lactose intolerant but also wanna mention that (like most lactose intolerant ppl) he just does not care. can and will eat a shit ton of dairy and someone will be like 'hey isn't that gonna mess up your stomach?' n hes just like 'lol yea'

weird abt eye contact so sometimes he wont be looking at you during a conversation but sometimes hes just, intensely stare at you, for like no reason. if u ask abt it he'll just shrug but it can be very frightening when you dont notice and all of a sudden you turn and see him just like 😶

will also creepy stare at you if he wants to stop doing something without having to actually say that

for example he hates when people make mouth noises (like loud chewing) so he will just stare at you until you get creeped out n stop

he is trans (real not fake) !!!!!

gets dysphoric over like, small insignificant things but will try n correct it in order to fele more masc

like the way he stands (started putting his hands in his pockets and yes doing the dick grab), how he writes (purposefully writes fast so its more scribbly n messy), how he takes off his shirt (pulling it up from the back of his neck) and other random things that do not rly matter

also type of guy to try out multiple diy binding methods bc theres no way his adoptive parents r buying him one (they probably dont even know hes trans tbh) and he definitely wont ask so instead he resorts to other (probably unsafe) methods

hates when his hair gets even a little too long bc not only does it make him dysphoric but he also hates the feeling of hair in his face or down his neck n shoulders

if he goes too long without a haircut he will just end up putting it up but he learns how to rock the ponytail (without feeling dysphoric too 👍)

also he is ace,,,, bc im ace and i want him to be i have no explanation for this one idc if it doesn't make sense he's ace in my heart

constantly has his earbuds in, likes to be constantly be blasting music and has a hard time working without it (he needs the constant stimulation)

loves to chew on things as a form of stimming

straws ? bottle caps ? pens ? destroyed

loves to eat ice as well (this one is more encouraged bc he wont be accidentally consuming plastic this way)

if he cannot find anything to chew on sometimes he just ends up biting his lips n the inside of his cheeks and he has sharp teeth so his mouth is just kinda messed up

secretly rly likes legos

he will spend hours just building bc he will get fixated on it now he has to finish it

also he is a batman fan but he is NOT a comic dudebro joker stan ok

he loves collecting things he deems sentimental

like a ticket stub from when the choir went to see a movie together ? keeping it. a random pretty rock someone found and gave to him ? keeping it

keeps all of them in a little box in his room

ok this was longer than i intended so im stopping it here for now ! ill will probably post some about the whole choir i just had a lot of mischa ones bc projection 🫶