#post binge clarity

[mindonmymoneyandmoneyonmymind]

who tf is writing homelander X y/n posts WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?!?!

[mindonmymoneyandmoneyonmymind]

Kendall and His Minion...his minion who is also his puppet master.

I give Ken 2 episodes before he is snorting mysterious powders

my honest reaction

[quadrantbreaker]

will graham covered in blood i think i haube covid

[theygotbitchesinmedia]

Started murderbot on the plane today. Let's look back on what I screenshotted and try and remember why

Ok first screenshot. Easy mode. Wanted to pay respects to a polyamorous king and his seven children by various partners

I think here I was going to point out that the prose in this thing is just. Not particularly inspiring. Right now in my post-travel clarity the thing I've read most recently whose prose style lines up with murderbot is the animorphs books. Which is absolutely not an insult because I loved those fucking books, but I don't want books written for adult audiences to remind me of books written for elementary schoolers.

"You may have noticed that when I do manage to care, I'm a pessimist." Ugh. I'm interpreting the style in the most favorable way I can and assuming that we're more or less supposed to view murderbot as having the angsty broody personality of a sulking teen. Taking the prince of darkness out for a walk. And that were not supposed to take it too seriously

I will say I'm kind of disappointed in How human murderbot is. When I heard the premise "killer security robot who goes rogue and binge watches a bunch of tv" this isn't really what I was expecting. Obviously I am just on the first novella but rn murderbot feels indistinguishable from like a loner space merc character. Like as in the This Is A Robot stuff just isn't hitting like I wish it was.

I think it's really not helpful that we aren't introduced to any more "standard" sec units to compare murderbot too. Are they even "standard?" How much personality do secunits typically have? Are permitted to show? Not knowing that makes it impossible as the audience to actually understand what makes our main character an outlier from its peers, which is kind of a critical point of failure for characterization

But at least we know it can /j with the best of them

[loveistrange]

interlude: fortnite and criminal minds

Y/n and Mark had met the summer before they started college working at the same boba shop down the block from their neighborhood. having no plans before college they became quick friends, spending most days with each other. They spent countless summer nights having sleepovers, binging entire seasons of Criminal Minds, and playing Fortnite until they physically couldn’t keep their eyes open.

Y/n had been pondering the idea of confessing her feelings to Mark for a while. Sure, they were great friends, but friends didn’t look at each other the way they did. Friends didn’t search for each other's eyes while laughing after someone made a joke in a group. Friends didn’t leave lingering touches and fall asleep in each other's arms. Y/n tended to overthink every little interaction, but this time she had outdone herself. She had come to the conclusion that Mark did like her back. And for once, she felt like her delusions might not be so far-fetched.

It was a regular day for Mark and y/n. He was sitting in his bean bag chair, engrossed in fortnite, with y/n perched comfortably across his lap. She had grown unusually quiet, which was strange for her, considering she was usually pointing out things in the game or talking about some crazy shit Jisung had said to her yesterday.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Mark said, nudging her gently.

"Um…" For once in her life, y/n seemed at a loss for words.

"Do you need the brain cell?" Mark smirked at her. This was an inside joke between them, a playful way of offering clarity when one of them was struggling to express themselves.

"Yes, please!" y/n giggled, the tension in her chest loosening slightly.

Mark reached to the side of his head, miming the act of pulling out an invisible brain cell, and placed it into the side of her head. "There you go, it’s yours now," he said with a slight smile.

y/n stayed silent for a moment before blurting out, "You know, Mark, I like you a lot."

"I like you a lot too, idiot. You’re one of the best friends I could ever ask for," he replied, smiling at her before turning his attention back to the game. He seemed to not understand the way y/n meant it, but that didn’t stop her from overthinking.

"Of course he only likes me as a friend. I’m so fucking stupid," she thought to herself. Growing increasingly upset, she shifted positions to sit on his bed instead of the bean bag with Mark. It took a moment for Mark to notice the shift in mood, but when he did, he turned to her and asked, "What’s your deal?" half expecting her to just be scrolling on her phone.

Y/n's eyes flashed with anger and hurt. "Your head is way too big for your body and it makes you look ridiculous and you’ll never be able to fix it," she snapped before storming out of his house.

Mark was left sitting there, controller in hand, staring at the door she had just slammed shut. He felt a mix of confusion and a sting of offense. What had just happened? He replayed the conversation in his mind, but nothing seemed to make sense.

He tried texting her multiple times, each message more desperate than the last. But no matter what he said, y/n never replied. He even went as far as stopping by her house only to be met with a sympathetic look from y/n’s mom, stating she wasn’t home. Days turned into weeks, and Mark was left wondering where he had gone wrong. Summer had slipped away into a moment of time as they both got caught up in their new lives at college, but the unresolved feelings and misunderstandings lingered, a silent echo of what could have been.

masterlist. prev. next.

notes… short double update to give a little backstory and to make up for me not posting for the next couple days !!!

taglist: @winwintea

[mindonmymoneyandmoneyonmymind]

I think Shiv has the gene from her father in which she doesn't like to lose. She wants to be in the company because of her father's legacy but i think deep down she doesn't like people thinking she can't do it and writing her off as just "the sister"

Shiv has an amazing career OUTSIDE of royco but that's not enough because she wants to win and she wants a seat at the table.

all the roy kids are huge entitled failures and theres obviously the misogyny aspect but shiv being so surprised/pissed at being left out is so funny. girl you know the game stand up! you're the only sibling with even a hint of a career outside the company

[herejusttosufferalong]

Nic and Luke are something else. Never in my 30 years of life and participation in so many types of fandom, did I ever think I would legit ship irl people. Like that has never happened to me. I think the closest I got was with Tom and Zendaya with the initial Spiderman press and lip sync battle. But it was more of like a watch a few interviews and thought oh they would be cute and then went about my life.

The Lukola hold is real. Not them resurrecting my dead inner Tumblr girlie from the grave. So glad I found your blog recently to kinda vent these feelings. I always feel like talking about it on like TikTok,twitter etc, it runs the risk of the shipped parties seeing it and being uncomfy. I feel like with Tumblr one has to really seek it out so it feels a bit like if you're here you really wanted to know lol.

I was such a Bridgerton casual viewer, and Polin and Nic and Luke converted me. I think I was always invested in Pen and Colin from season 1 so maybe that's why season 3 drew me in more. Also prior to Bridgerton I loved Derry girls so I always had a soft spot for Nicola. So after part 1 dropped I was hooked I binged all their PR vids etc and accidentally fell down the Lukola rabbit hole.

The demisexual in me is both jealous and frustrated at them, like what do you mean you found this amazing deep friendship connection and you are doing nothing about it !?!?

I'm sure that this theory has been discussed before but I'm a bit new so not sure.

Pure Speculation Alert!

Part 1

I think they def may have expressed feelings during the filming of season 3. I think it was mutual but also confusing cause Luke was now getting out of a long term relationship and they were also playing characters. I'm not 100% timeline wise but Nic may have also been attached/ getting out of a relationship. Idk if anything physical happened it's possible. I think there may have been kissing. But being the professionals they are I think they agreed to but the feelings on the back burner cause it's not the right time and they could be confusing their characters' emotions with their own. So they decide to table the feelings and let the distance post filming give them space and clarity and allow Luke to heal from his break up properly.

In the off season Luke rebounds with A. It's casual but Nic feels like she gets her answer but also think let's see how the promo tour goes. They regroup on the PR tour and old rhythms fall in to place, feelings are bubbling back up. I think it reaches a fever pitch in Brazil. The atmosphere and alcohol loosen their tongues and they address the elephant in the room. Luke is still with A and probs tells Nic that it's a little bit more than casual but not official official and that he may be confused but wants to give it a shot with A cause she's been like patient (rolls eyes) while he does all this press and he also feels a little guilty being so flirty with Nic. They kind of hash it out but agree to be friends. But they are a bit shaky cause they're in a weird place.

.

[0cta9on]

What made you choose Minji for your longest running series? Were there any particular character traits that made her particularly suited for such an extended commitment?

If you were to start another multi-part series, which idol do you think you would choose?

Much love, congrats on 1,500 followers!

Hello msafterhours! Thank you for the kind words :] Ended up yapping a lot, so I'll leave a read more line :]

I was messing around with a Minji chatbot for Horny™️ reasons, but then post nut clarity hit and I was like "Hmm, what would happen if I did this normally without the horny?" The "opening scene" of the chatbot was you entering the detention room (why you're going to detention is for you to decide) where you find student council president Minji watching over the room. I gave my character a name (Yuno Lin came from what my brain fills in whenever I see Y/n L/n in these chatbots), created a little backstory, bada bing bada boom, Unlikely Duet was born :] I never planned on becoming a writer in this community, but the urge to write out the story that I had started in that chatbot was too strong.

The personality of the Minji chatbot is pretty simple, but it was a good starting off point for me to develop her character in the direction I wanted. Rather than any particular character traits, it was the dynamic I created between the characters in the chatbot that drove me to write the story, Minji just so happened to be the name and face attached to it. I'm not complaining tho, she's very cute and has such a lovely personality irl :>

I actually was in the process of creating another multi-part series, but decided to shelve it for now since I don't want to split my attention between two series at the same time (I already take so long in between releases :,> ). Chuu and Lily were the two idols that I chose since they seemed to fit the characters I wanted to include, but I only really developed Chuu's character so far. It's a shame that I had to put it on hold, I really liked how Chuu's character turned out and the scenes I had planned for her would've been really fun to write :]

[tehb3stsk4t3revr]

Got inspired by a post I saw this morning so here's literally 2 entire pages of headcanons comparing Infected and Kasper. Fair warning: It dips into talk of symptoms I imagine he'd have and the whole Poptart situation.

[A lot of which assume he'd have like. Actual biological needs instead of being Video Game-y, which seems to be sort of a grey area in-game anyway...]

Kasper was already kind of stupid so honestly not much is different on that front. Average 2010s gamer dudebro sort of deal. Although Infected has a bit more 'what kind of animal is the pink panther?' in him than Kasper.

Infected has next to no impulse control, leading to him doing things he shouldn't and speaking without thinking pretty much constantly.

Infected has balance issues that Kasper didn’t due to inner ear inflammation from the infection. He can’t really do anything on a skateboard anymore besides just stand there or go in a straight line. He can and will find a way to trip on flat ground.

He's convinced he still rules at it, though.

The inflammation has also made his hearing kind of shit. (The only person he can hear with perfect clarity is Folly, as she probably speaks directly into people’s minds or something lol.)

Infected loves soda and drinks basically only that. Boy who was born with kidney stones <3

The neurotoxin in his favorite soda was a deeply unreasonable amount of aspartame (and other chemicals. For fun! <3). Not being able to drink it anymore has somewhat improved his balance issues and memory, but he still misses how it tasted (it probably tasted like what you'd get if you boiled down an entire 2 liter of diet coke until it's barely a liquid then filled an 8 ounce soda can with that. Dude’s tastebuds and liver are Fucked).

Kasper had a fairly similar way of talking to Infected, minus the 1337. ("Sweet parteh trickz dud!11")

Infected is in constant pain. Headaches, body aches, sore throat, can't breathe well, burning skin, heavy eyes, nausea that won't go away, sniffles, random nerve pain, probably other shit. He barely notices it anymore unless someone asks how he's feeling. He doesn't have much energy to spare. He would come across as significantly more hyper/manic than how Kasper used to be if not for this.

He doesn't put any of the energy he has left towards cleaning. Kasper could deal with a little mess, but still picked stuff up when it got ugly. Lampert was also willing to help when he visited. Now Infected is too tired and unfocused to pick anything up most of the time, and Lampert refuses to set foot in the apartment complex until Kasper is better. Infected has started throwing garbage off the balcony when it gets in the way too much. It's kinda fun!

Infected occasionally dissociates. Finds later that he's already talked to someone about something and just repeated himself, bought something already and now he has two, spent hours on his computer without remembering a single thing he looked at, or already met someone he thought he hadn't seen before.

It has actually been explained to Infected before that Kasper is his name. This just started an argument and the topic was dropped forever from that point forward.

Infected is deeply stressed out by seeing his own face for reasons he can't communicate, so he avoids looking at it as much as possible. He used to have a mirror in his apartment but he threw it off the balcony in a fit of rage one night, then covered the blank space where it used to be with a poster. Same thing with ripping Kasper’s face off of the picture on his desk. Any photos of him that are on his PC have either been sent to the recycle bin or cropped so that his face isn’t in them. He's completely fine looking at drawings of himself though. That's definitely him.

When left to his own devices, Infected's diet is… Inconsistent. He will forget to eat for long periods of time then binge when the hunger pangs finally get so annoying that he can't ignore them anymore. He's at least sort of hydrated because there's usually a six pack of soda on his desk or by the couch, but unless someone on the elevator is feeling generous he doesn't remember on his own very often.

Kasper was very comfortable being physically affectionate with people and would be happy to cuddle or lay on a friend's lap if they were cool with that. Infected is even more touchy and would be clingy if he had chances to be, but due to his extremely obvious contagious disease nobody lets him get close. He is incredibly touch-starved and would probably get emotional if someone hugged him or even just sympathetically rubbed his back now.

 Kasper was alright at resisting the urge, but Infected has picked at every scab he's ever gotten, and he ends up with a Lot. He will pick at them until the damage is worse than the initial injury unless someone stops him/tells him to put a bandage over it.

Kasper would bite his nails to keep them short and pick his nose sometimes but Infected's nails are completely trashed. Some of them have scabbed over or still-bleeding cuticles and hangnails because he chews and picks at those too.

All of the contact with his spit has caused his fingernail textures to semi-permanently unload. You'd think they were painted if you didn't know why they looked like that.

Nosebleeds from his nasal cavity getting torn up from all the fussing are not unheard of and yet he's gonna keep doing it.

Constantly drooling when he's not talking. Some of it is post-nasal drip. Sometimes he remembers to wipe it off on his arm, but most of the time it just ends up on the floor/running down his face and soaking into the neckline of his shirt. Or sprayed all over the walls/someone's face when he sneezes.

Kasper used to keep a bottle of hand sanitizer in his pocket to help Lampert feel more comfortable. He stopped doing that forever ago after he got sick. (You know how rabies does a bunch of shit to animals to make them better disease vectors, including to their brains? Yeah, something like that).

On some level he knows he's sick. Would be more stressed out about it but the infection has repressed his ability to care (and the part of him that’s still aware of it is probably also heavily in denial). This has affected other aspects of his emotional range, causing it to come across as unusually flat, especially to those who knew Kasper.

Infected is scared that if he’s taken to a doctor’s office they’ll hurt him, so on top of genuinely not being able to recognize that he's sick he will deny all accusations regardless out of this fear. He’s technically not wrong, since trying to purge the disease to save Kasper would be extremely painful for him, but this thought mostly comes from his illness trying to preserve itself.

The last time someone tried to lead Infected to DrRETRO’s office for an intensive care stay he panicked upon realizing what was going on and fought back until they let him leave (fucked them up pretty badly), so now everyone keeps their distance and kinda uselessly tries to convince him to go voluntarily with their words.

Infected is incapable of maintaining strong negative emotions if pushed into being that upset. He'll be mad or sad for maybe a minute and then something else will get his attention or he’ll get too tired to think and he'll forget whatever was bugging him.

Every so often he will lose hope about finding Poptart and then abruptly ‘reset’ a minute or two into sobbing his eyes out, completely confident that any day now the little guy will come back safe and sound.

Despite this it is still really easy to get him Gamer Raging. Way easier than it ever was with Kasper, who was a pretty good sport in most cases.

Infected's particular brand of Gamer Rage is ‘Heckling people until they shut up/go away’, or until it's out of his system. This is the most typical way he processes anger. The impulse control is Seriously out the window when he gets like this.

Kasper knew a lot of stuff about the games he liked offhandedly (mostly competitive co-op FPS games like counterstrike, tf2, l4d2, etc) and could tell you so much esoteric bullshit about them, but if you tried to ask Infected he would get too excited trying to think of something he could share that would be really cool and then not actually be able to remember anything.

The only context in which Infected's reaction time isn't ass is video games. Something about muscle memory. In any other situations he is usually pretty slow to react. This does not mean he's slow to do things, though. When he's acting on a dumbass impulse thought he's probably halfway done doing it before anyone can stop him.

It is possible to get Infected to acknowledge that his situation is Fucked for a moment or two if you press him on the most obvious evidence that he's sick (his headaches, the fact his allergies haven't cleared up in years, the snot on his face, etc), and if you pressed hard enough you'd start to see him get scared. He knows you're right, but there's nothing he can do about it. And then the recognition would be gone again as soon as you stopped talking.

This doesn't work when you bring up his name (Who's Kasper? Never met the guy.) or objects in his surroundings, only symptoms of illness directly observable on/in his body.

[mindonmymoneyandmoneyonmymind]

My feelings for tom and shiv are soo complicated.

I feel like he does still love her but it's clearly not the same love they once had. I don't think they've been IN love for a long time. I think he clearly is being a social climber and he's praying on her emotional state to make sure he has a seat at the table. I think the number one priority on everyone's mind in this show is security. And in that sense, I think Tom and Greg are made for each other. Even if it's not romantic (I don't think it is or ever will be) their goals are soo like-minded. As can be seen when Greg tried to ally with Marcia by kicking kerry when she was down.

It's about finding a lifeboat for them.

I think shiv should abort and never look back.

i need them to be good to shiv this season

[mindonmymoneyandmoneyonmymind]

i know i've talked about succession for maybe almost a full 24 hours but LISTEN

Shiv fell and was betrayed by her brothers WHO SHE KNOWS ARE IDIOTS. She has been leading them emotionally and was a key player business-wise this entire time!!

If Shiv was smart and I know she is she would do nothing. She would let them destroy each other because they will. She should say nothing. No advice nothing. Let them fall apart.

But she won't.

[boredomincarnate16]

So, whenever I play Yo-Kai Watch 3, and get to the point where I befriend Komasan, I nearly always try using him on my team, due to him, in the chapter you befriend him in, saying he wants to be strong so Nate'll summon him more, which is why I kept him on the front row of my team for a long time. Heck, even battled the Onis in the game with him! Even got the little dude to Level 99. Went through the Bada-Bing Tower with him and fought Narwil/Whaleman, while under-leveled, with him as well! And eventually, I evolved him, but went through post-evolving-mascot-monster-clarity, but later on, I did get another Komasan via Blasters T, and I leveled THAT one up to 99 and essentially did the same thing I did with the story-befriendable Komasan, with me having a headcanon of that Komasan wanting to be summoned more like the story-befriended one.

[charitytitter]

Relapse, back to normal

Alright, so, this is going to be the last post of a personal nature. Recap: I am an adult with BiPolar. I am considered high-functioning enough that I have gone for long stretches without treatment (eg. no medication... but I still see a psychiatrist regularly). A number of weeks ago, I accepted a job, doing something completely outside of my wheelhouse. After two weeks of training, it became clear to me, that I did not have the mental nor emotional fortitude to handle this new role, and also maintain my mental health... at least not without treatment. So I spoke with my Psych about medication, and got started on it. Within 24 hours of starting the medication I had a Manic Episode, the likes of which I had never experienced. On top of the Manic episode, I also began experiencing aggressive heart palpitations (it was not an anxiety/panic attack, I have had enough panic/anxiety attacks in my life to know the differences... and when I eventually landed in the hospital, the EKG/ECG proved the heart anomalies were very real). Amidst the Physical and Mental breakdown, I had to resign from the job. Between the stress of the job, and the bad reaction to the meds... I had not slept for 7 days, and physically I could not even drive myself to the Doctor. It was during the stress and mental uncertainty of this scenario that I made a decision to de-porn my life. (I also made a decision to reconnect with my estranged father, a decision which, while impulsive, turned out very well, and I am very happy that I reached out to him). In hindsight. I view a lot of the decisions that I made, to be impulsive, and not from a place of mental clarity. I was essentially operating under a medication induced mental duress. Once I was taken off the medication, everything began to improve and go back to normal. I can sleep 6-8 hours a night again, the heart palpitations have stopped, I can drive, I can think straight, and my sex-drive has returned. I realize that the judgments I was casting upon myself were, not only coming from the fog of bad medication + lack of sleep, but they were judgments that were not my own, judgments projected onto me from past partners, and from an unaccepting society. Pornstars are people. Sex work is real work. Erotic art, is real art too. Some people end their day by cuddling and having sex with a partner. Some people read a book. Some people play videogames until they fall asleep at their desk. Some people drink a 6-pack of beer every night, or an entire bottle of wine. Some people binge watch TV until they fall asleep. I used to invite my girlfriend over for (mutual); cuddles, backrubs, scalp massages, sex, and TV watching... and that was enough to put me to sleep. Then I got dumped... Now I wind-down by watching paid porn actors, act-out some of the intimate things I used to do with my partner while I vape weed and reminisce about how nice it was to be in a relationship. No matter how shitty a day I've had. It's the one thing I can do at the end of the day, that consistently relaxes me and puts me in a position to get a good night's sleep. Is it ideal? Of course not. Ideal, for me, would be falling asleep next to a partner. But I don't have a partner. And until I do. Who am I, or anyone else, to pass judgement upon the coping mechanism that I am employing to get me through the night? I am thankful that my sex-drive came back. I am thankful that my coping mechanism hurts no one. I am hopeful that someday I will find a partner that accepts me for who I am, perceived flaws & all. Loves me when I'm at my best, and when I'm at my worst. Until I do, I will cope.

[oliviridian]

I don't post about this on here but I do struggle with an eating disorder (the more common one, binge eating disorder) and lately my emotional regulation has been generally improving and my bingeing has been decreasing coinciding with a moment of clarity I had feeling feelings in my physical body about three weeks ago. Since then, I can tell when I'm hungry and when I'm not a lot better which has helped significantly with bingeing.

I still get the urge and I might always but I've been a lot better about portion control and what I do choose to eat. I'm saving a little money not buying snacks to binge and I've lost a little weight. I'm still not light, but at my heaviest I was 280 and now I'm about 250. I think my goal isn't to be thin, I don't think thinness is really an attainable or even desirable goal for me but I would like to fluctuate healthily between 220-240 instead of 260-280 and I think as I get more of a handle on my mental health, that might be something I can do.

Baby steps, focusing on my own health.

[the-s1lly-corner]

jeff x reader platonic headcannons?

Jeff the killer x reader (platonic!)

WOOOOOOO honestly i love getting platonic stuff for creepypasta!! dont get me wrong i love writing romantic stuff for the fandom but i feel that platonic is rare.... but i think thats the case for other fandoms too shrugs)

oh hes an asshole and hes full of himself, so either youre going to need to be able to handle his personality or youre going to need to match his energy

but even through that i like the idea that hes still a big brother at heart; even after everything... i dont know, jeff having moments of downtime and clarity between everything hits me a certain way

also it leaves room for guilt

snorts

but thats not what this post is about!

got someone harassing you at work/school? depending on the time of day hes either going to hype you up or... fix the problem himelf

honestly youre probably going to have to beg him not to do anything in case it cycles back to you

despite what his literal catchphrase is, expect a lot of late nights where the two of you hang out and do loads of stuff; from binging movies to video games to wandering the streets after everyone else has gone to sleep

can see jeff being the type to have roast battles with his friends, or whatever theyre called; probably the only time hes going to let you freely say anything about him in a mocking way... usually

you know how in "night in the woods" mae and gregg had that running joke where they would meet and say something like "too bad you didnt (terrible event)" and they try to one up each other?

congrats i think you and jeff would do that too, definitely fits the bill for jeffs humor i think

one of those "i dont like showing that i care," so he will never admit anything but hes going to be hanging back and making sure you get to your destinations safely; hes going to get you what you need if youre sick; hes going to spook the shit out of anyone who makes you upset

just dont say anything because he might actually hold back or outright stop these small actions because hed rather die than be seen as caring

[b0n3sndstuff]

𝓗ow the fuck did my brain think that my anxiety of looking fat on my swimsuit tomorrow on the pool was going to go away bingeing 😭. Post binge clarity is so shameful. I hate myself so much, last year at this time i was 5 kg lighter. ( ˶•︵•)