#poor gm

[blu3jae]

It’s time for my annual purging of the phone tabs.

This is what happens when your ADHD doesn’t let you close tabs because “you might forget why you needed it” but then you end up forgetting it was there in the first place.

Anyways, first up is this:

… why.

Why did I look this up?? Was this related to something??

All I can think is maybe it was related to the Alien RP game that my friend came up with, where we were trying to come up with wacky foods that the aliens would eat, so… like… maybe?? That was why??? I needed to know what a croakshambow-

Croquetshamble-

I have to look back at the photo to spell it lol, croquembrouche?? No, croquembouche. Got it.

Anyways, maybe I needed to know that, so so that we could have alienish food.

The French are pretty alien after all, I suppose that works out well.

[darkvlagor]

"Yeah it's going to be a chill light-hearted campaign"

Builds character like a maniac

Plans character up to lvl 12

Sets up Obsidian to take note

Thinks of RP scenarios

[armourofayda]

i need dropout to release rulebooks for NSBU and NSMM asap because i NEED to play at least a oneshot with them. im planning a campaign and NSMM fits so well as a system. @ dropout pleaseeee

[l3rking]

I hope everyone is having fun with their silly Destiny weekend.

[justalittlebluetiefling]

One of our players just completely fucked up our GMs plan in the funniest way and it forced us to go to break early so that he can try and figure out how to get out of what we just did.

[twnj]

Despite his curses and how violently he rubbed his face, he instantly looked back at Temari’s face as though he needed it to take his next breath. His bloodshot eyes were tired and strangely unapologetic, but she barely noticed that. She was too wrapped up in his words to let his eyes take hold just yet.

[...]

For the first time she could remember, Shikamaru coughed on exhale. His eyes grew shiny, redder, and more glazed with each hack, and without thinking, Temari drew closer. Shikamaru wiped his mouth with his sleeve, then took a softer, less abrasive drag. He didn’t cough this time, but his voice was hoarse when he spoke.

 “Pride has nothing to with it, Temari — it’s ash in the wind. I know the jealousy’s pathetic. You trusted me, and I made you uncomfortable. I deserved it.”

Grandmaster on ao3 by @notquitejiraiya

[soleminisanction]

I kinda joked about this a few weeks ago, but the more I think about it, the more convinced I become that the Bad Kids are Pathfinder 2e characters trapped in a Dungeons & Dragons 5e world.

Gonna start with Riz here because he's the one who put the idea in my head in the first place. Riz Gukgak and his parents are clearly closer in concept and design to the green, sneaky, tech-and-fire loving Pathfinder Goblins than they are the yellow, burly mobs of the official D&D goblins. (This is probably because most of the art you find when you google "Dungeons & Dragons goblins" is actually of Pathfinder goblins.) Riz also uses guns, weapons which are uncommon but well-established in Pathfinder, but barely exist at all in D&D.

Most importantly, Riz is fundamentally an Investigator, which exists as its own class in Pathfinder but not in D&D. You know what other classes D&D doesn't have? Oracle and Swashbuckler. The former of which is mechanically way closer to the way Brennan already plays Adaine's oracle powers narratively (and has its own built-in narrative hook to play with, a curse), while the latter has entire fighting styles built around dance and makes you a more effective fighter the more you show off.

For Gorgug you have to dig a little into the gritty details, because Barbarian is a class shared by both systems, but the big one is that unlike D&D, Pathfinder has actual technology rules. Non-magical technology rules, so taking on the Artificer equivalent, the Inventor, as an archetype wouldn't have had that particular synergy problem. There's also a feat, Adopted Ancestry, that would give him mechanical access to culture-based gnome feats to reflect his upbringing with his adopted parents.

Similarly, with Fig, Bards exist in both games (Warlocks don't, but multiclassing into Hexblade is mechanically similar to taking the Magus archetype) but you know what doesn't, RAW? Tieflings that are also elves, because of how D&D's races work. In Pathfinder, however, the tiefling equivalent (nephilim, specifically hellspawn) are a versatile heritage, a secondary template that can be applied to any ancestry, so "elf hellspawn nephilim" is legal RAW. And it's something where you can choose how much of that heritage is expressed in your character's appearance so, again, the mechanics line up better with the narrative re: it only being something she learned about later in life.

Finally, you've got Kristen, who is, on paper, the one who fits comfortably in either game -- a human cleric. But I will attest that, given what she's capable of, she's not just a human cleric. Given the shit Kristen has pulled off over the last three seasons, I maintain that she would be best represented by, at bare minimum, taking the archetype for the upcoming Exemplar class (playtested last year and releasing officially in War of the Immortals, Oct 2024), the only rare class in Pathfinder 2e because they're meant to be literal, actual demi-gods, legendary heroes on the same level as Hercules, Gilgamesh, Cú Chulainn and Maui. It's a class designed to essentially break the game in select ways to make the players feel awesome (hence why it's rare, so GMs can restrict access if they choose), and well. Tell me that doesn't sound like Kristen Applebees.

So yeah, there's the rational behind my crack theory that makes way too much sense: the Bad Kids are Pathfinder characters. Or growing up to be Pathfinder characters. Something like that.

[chamerionwrites]

Part of the reason I was inspired to make that poll was because there’s a particular kind of villain magnetism that gets me sometimes, and idk if it’s a me thing or if others relate but it’s like. It’s not If Evil, Why Hot. And it’s not when a character has good qualities and/or deeply human flaws and the tragedy of it compels me. And it’s not when the writers accidentally made the villain the coolest guy in the room.

It’s the bizarre charm of a character who is such a total piece of shit that they circle all the way back around to scratching a kind of trainwreck fascination in my brain. I do not want to fuck them and I do not want them to see the light and I don’t even want to cry about the tragedy of it all as they follow their worst impulses to inevitable doom. I want them to slip on a banana peel. I want them to die in a fire. The opposite of love is not hate but indifference, and I want to punch their smug face so bad it makes me look stupid. They are my most beloathed but you could be forgiven for thinking otherwise, because every time they show up I as a reader/viewer/player am giggling and rubbing my hands together with glee

[papermonkeyism]

Big blue nerd's official debut tomorrow!

[victorluvsalice]

AU Thursday: Valicer In The Dark -- Duskwall Slang

Since we did a VITD lookbook yesterday, I figured we might as well keep the train going today and talk a little bit about some of the worldbuilding I've done for the Valicer In The Dark version of Duskwall (the main setting of Blades In The Dark). Specifically, I've decided to share the short list of slang that I've come up with for people to use! Because that's always fun, right? :) The first entry on this list is taken from the book itself (page 42, specifically) and adapted a little bit, but all the rest are purely my own invention:

-->“Flashing a/their/your Coin” and variants – making an ostentatious display of wealth, to the disgust of everyone around them (the term "Coin" itself is in fact slang for a large sum of money, taken from the days when the Imperial treasury would actually mint large solid gold coins intended to cover major transactions; most people these days rely on small silver pieces called "slugs"). Example: “You spent all that money on THAT outfit? Really flashing your Coin, huh?”

-->“Moving to Six Towers” – indicates that the person said to be moving was previously rich and important, but has fallen on extremely hard times and is on the verge of ruin (referencing the fact that Six Towers USED to be one of the richest neighborhoods in the city, but has turned into a bit of a slum with most of the nobility previously living there moving into Brightstone). Example: “The Everglots’ leviathan ship hasn’t had a good haul in six months. Think they’ll be moving to Six Towers soon.”

-->“Scavenging in the Lost District” – indicates that the person said to be scavenging is taking an INCREDIBLE risk in the hopes of getting a high reward (due to the Lost District being an abandoned neighborhood outside the lightning barrier keeping the city safe and guarded by the Spirit Wardens...but also having many lost riches within its bounds). Example: “You want to rob Lord Mayor Powerwallet? Talk about scavenging in the Lost District!”

-->“Living Coin to Coin” – living paycheck to paycheck, as the average weekly wage in Duskwall is equivalent to a Coin’s worth of money. Example: “Poor old Tom – what with his sick mother and five children needing feeding, he’s living Coin to Coin.”

-->“Only good for mushrooms” – indicates that the thing being talked about is absolute shit. Example: “Don’t order the ‘special ale’ at the Withered Talon, it’s only good for mushrooms.”

-->“You want to call the crows?” – equivalent of “You want to get us killed?” in response to a risky course of action (referencing the Deathseeker crows that find corpses for the Spirit Wardens). Example: “You want to FIGHT Lord Mayor Powerwallet’s bodyguards? You want to call the crows?!”

-->“Barrowcleft approved” – indicates the item in question is homemade but of very high quality (Barrowcleft being a poor, rural neighborhood with one of the best, and fairest, markets in the city). Example – “You carved this yourself? Why, this is Barrowcleft approved work and no mistake!”

-->“Dust Day fare” – an extremely meager meal made from poor-quality ingredients, referencing the popular nickname for the fifth day of the week from Charhollow, which itself references the fact that poor people’s food stores are the thinnest on this day. Example – “Canal water soup with potato peelings. This is Dust Day fare, all right.”

-->“Crit Six/rolled a crit six” – means that something is exceedingly good, or that something that you have done has succeeded beyond your wildest dreams; references the most popular dice game in Duskwall, where rolling double sixes is an automatic win. Example – “I went to open the safe, and I rolled a crit six – the door practically came off in my hands!”

-->“Welcher” – a term for someone who hires a criminal or crew for a job, and then not only refuses to pay them, but actively tries to murder them (directly or otherwise) to avoid doing so. Only one of the highest leaders of the most well-known crews may declare someone a Welcher, and then only after receiving sufficient proof, as the term is a death sentence – the scoundrels of Duskwall do not take kindly to their clients trying to stiff them, in both senses of the word. Example: “All right, I’ve seen enough – I’m ready to declare that Lord E.A. Bethesda is a Welcher. Hope he’s prepared for every scoundrel in the city coming for his ass...”

Further updates to come if and when I think of more stuff! Which I probably will, as this is fun. :)

[randomnameless]

@dimiclaudeblaigan replied to your post “Tbf to Jeralt, it's possible that his merc band...”:

Yeah I could tell they wanted to mirror Greil but they did it so poorly lol. The GMs /were/ kinda humble as far as food they had iirc, but they no doubt had more than Jeralt's group (they were very skilled but had far fewer ppl to feed, which means more jobs thus more money but less mouths to feed). Greil also didn't do anything nearly as questionable as Jeralt (Greil's worst crime was not telling his kids that laguz existed tbh... even tho they lived in Gallia before).

​IIRC the Greil merc pick their jobs, so they don't take the first ones available, is it because Greil has so many "offers" he can chose what he's going to do and the kids will be fed anyways, or because he is still someone decent, and won't accept taking an offer to, idk, attack refugees or something?

Also, iirc, Greil took orphans under his wings at least 4 times? First with the Oscar siblings (even if Rolf's mom is still around?), then with Soren?

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

Sometimes I want to read my friends' fics bc like... friends! Their fics! But then like... my brain reminds me the only fic I read is dmcl.

[didacticchartographer]

I accidentally wrote eleven pages of lore for my Mutants and Masterminds character to explain their journey through death, bad choices, and the meat dimension their superpowers come from, in addition to the four full body drawings of the main characters for our game and sending another player song recommendations for their character's mental illness specific Spotify playlist. I may be more than a little obsessed with this game.

[cosmosoracle]

The jaws of the General were the last thing she saw, for a brief second after returning conscious from already fatal damage. 

She would be happy to know that, in the end, Zinnya and Hoyt survived, and that Roktor recognized especially his strength and granted the team approval for the attack on the Vitalia. Hopefully, she will open her eyes again to live it in first person. 

If not... she can only hope in who survived, and for a quiet travel through the River of Souls.

[lexicals]

My poor barbarian went through some shit today lmao

1. Flirted with by pretty water spirit

2. Suddenly lost all her feathers and other ganzi physical features with no warning

3. Suddenly regained the head feathers specifically as well as a pair of Eight Foot Purple Wings

[bolontiku]

Bye GM, Hello Panic Attack

Walked into my café the other day and the three managers were having a meeting, waited for a bit to chat with the Assistant GM about a few things and if she could talk it over with our GM since she would see him before I would?

No more GM.

I stared at her and asked what happened? Did he get promoted, moved, quit, fired?

No answer. He is no longer with us. Cool, cool, looks like it's on you now buddy, she wasn't exactly thrilled about it. Shame since he was doing so much better. Relayed the info to my boss.

Catering manager comes up a couple hours later says she gotta use my cooler and disappears into there while I go about my business with my work and music blaring into my ear. Go to the freezer come back and find her and an associate chilling in my area, like... I need this space. My space is limited and I need to keep moving, I don't have time for visits...

She's crying.

Ah.

Associate trying to comfort her. Cute kid, 19yo, going to school for personal fitness/trainer, very positive. Been chatting with the catering manager cause she's been trying to switch to baker. She's full blown having a mental breakdown now.

Me: uNcoMfoRtaBle...uncomfortable....

She's calming down and trying to breath as she has a panic attack, trying to work through it, breathing slows. Associate,"it's okay, nobody is gonna judge you, we all have problems it's not just you." Panic attack intensifies. She's not breathing now, stutters when she does.

I need my work space. *sigh* I step between them and put space between her and the boy, he means well I know he does. I demand her to slow her breathing, she's freaking out and lookin to the boy, I tell her to stare only at me and match my breathing, slow intake, slow exhale. She slowly comes out of panic mode. Stops crying (why do people come to my corner to cry?!) He's trying to help, still saying words, I ask him to help by fetching a glass of water. He runs off like the good child he is.

Her "I know he's trying to be nice"

I laugh, remind her to breathe, "boys always trip over their words. I sent him to get you water for that reason"

She smiles and is breathing normally when he comes back with a tall glass of ice and water. I send him to go get a chair, he comes back with one and she sits. We stick with her for a few more minutes, I just want my work space back, he's saying that nobody will be mean to her. I look at her and tell her if someone says anything to her she can come tell me and I will rip their ass in half. "Only I can laugh at you got it?!" She nods. "Okay, get back to work now and lets get done so we can cry at home where its safe" she laughs. To be fair, only I get to pick on anyone in the cafe, I will shove a bitch into the oven if they make my kids cry.

Anyhow took thirty minutes to calm her and get my work area back, but if not it would have taken longer. She went back to work and I reminded her to take it one task at a time. The kids listened and came to me if they had any questions when she was busy.

Which is fine I guess, most the kids and new hires are scared of me anyhow.