#poor Mr. E is so tired of the bullshit | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

absolutepokemontrash · 3 years ago

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All Demons are Entitled to Vacation Time (Because The Devildom Isn’t a Dystopia)

Part One (you are here!) Part Two Masterlist

Genuine friends in the Devildom were hard to come by, and the human exchange student had noticed that the brothers had been working her new friend to death, so she decided that the poor bastard needed some time off. The brothers agreed, but come to notice that they may have become a tad dependent on their makeshift assistant’s help.

(Just a heads up, this fic features an OC and my personal MC, so the MC will be using she/her pronouns, if you’re uncomfortable with that, no harm no foul, see you next fic. Anyway, enjoy Paimon’s mental breakdown and the boys being jerks!)

“Do you need anything else, Lord Lucifer?”

“Yes Paimon, get me a coffee.”

“The usual?”

“Yes, and do hurry up, I have work to do.”

Paimon quickly nodded and scampered out of Lucifer’s office at RAD. Sure it was after school, and sure Paimon had other things to do, and sure, he needed to sleep, but when the seven rulers of hell declare you their assistant, you be their fucking assistant.

“Oi!” Paimon felt the back of his uniform get balled up and he braced himself to be thrown into the nearest locker. “Pipsqueak, I need help with my homework.”

“H-hi Lord Mammon, s-sure, when do you want-”

“Nah nah nah,” Mammon spun Paimon around to face him. “I need, ‘help’ with my homework.”

The purple haired demon winced as he rummaged around his backpack and pulled out the assignment that Mammon had neglected to do. “R-remember to change up some words so-”

“I know how to copy homework! I’m not some dunce!” Mammon not so nicely set Paimon free from his 80s movie bully shirt grab and walked off. He whistled some made up tune and sporadically grumbled about finding his missing human.

Cheating on assignments was punishable by hanging from one’s thumbs in the glorified torture chamber known as the detention hall. Paimon had never been down there due to the fact that the place was reserved for the worst troublemakers, but he was pretty sure Mammon was familiar with it. Why didn’t he learn..?

While entranced with his thoughts of torture and mayhem, (see, Paimon could be a demon sometimes) Paimon didn’t notice the Avatar of Envy peeking around the nearest corner and nearly ran right into him.

“S-sorry Lord Leviathan!” Paimon sputtered. Levi’s head swivelled to Paimon as he began to stutter out a reply.

“G-good! You’re here! Get rid of them!”

“Get rid of who..?” Paimon looked around the corner and noticed a group of students just milling about and chatting. “Oh, right away sir.”

This wasn’t the first time Paimon had to do traffic control for Leviathan, and it wouldn’t be his last. He made up some bullshit lie about the hall needing to be cleaned and the students grumbled and slowly filed out. Once the hall was clear, Levi brushed past Paimon without even so much as a thank-you. He mumbled something about sending normies to deal with normies and disappeared down the hall.

Next up on his trip to get Lucifer a coffee, he ran into Satan, thankfully, he didn’t literally run into him.

“Ah, Paimon, give these to Barbatos, last time I saw him he was in the colosseum with Lord Diavolo.” Satan, barely even looking at the poor demon, slapped a huge stack of papers into his arms and strode down the hallway like he didn’t have a care in the world. Shit, and Paimon still had to get Lucifer coffee…

“Ah, there you are Paimon dear,” Paimon needed to muster up all his willpower to not openly roll his eyes as he met the gaze of the cheery Avatar of Lust.

“Lord Asmodeus,” Paimon said blankly. “How may I help you?”

“Take these to Majolish after you’re done… whatever you’re doing. On the double, sil vou plait!” Asmo shoved a massive stack of fabric on top of the paperwork Paimon was holding, causing him to stumble back a bit. “And if any of those touch this disgusting floor, I will personally claw each of your little freckles off your face.”

“Yes sir…” Paimon barely suppressed a growl as Asmo sashayed away from what one could barely call a conversation. As much as Paimon wanted to throw both the fabric and the paperwork into the nearest trash can, Paimon knew that both things could be recycled, and he also valued his life and his freckles.

Maybe he could run to the colosseum on the way to getting Lucifer’s coffee, torture two traitors with one tool, or however the saying goes! Paimon picked up his pace, his vision almost completely obscured by the massive pile of fabric. Despite nearly tripping twice, he made it to the kitchen, started up the coffee maker, then ran to the colosseum to drop off the paperwork.

“Mr. Barbatos?” Paimon’s call for the butler’s attention was cut off by a growl that sent shivers down his spine. Right in the centre of the colosseum the Fangol team was getting into “oh fuck” formation. That could only mean one thing and one thing only… oh no… Lord Beelzebub was hungry… really hungry… who didn’t order snacks?!

“Dammit dammit dammit…” Paimon squeaked as he shifted the paperwork and fabric and rummaged through his bag for his lunch. If Beel didn’t get some sustenance quickly he’d wreck the entire school! “L-Lord Beelzebub?! D-D-Do you want my luh-lunch? Sir?”

Beel’s head swung around to the sound of Paimon’s voice and before he could blink, the Avatar of Gluttony was towering over him. Paimon gulped and held out his lunch bag, and Beel snatched it up and ate the entire thing whole. Well… Paimon needed to replace the lunch bag anyway… and he could always eat later. His stomach growled pitifully. He had made the mistake of skipping lunch…

“Mmm… more.” Beel said, Paimon was still shaking in his designer knockoff school shoes.

“S-sorry, I don’t have anything e-else but the cafeteria has leftovers I think…” Paimon squeaked, Beel nodded and lumbered off towards the cafeteria, his hunger tantrum momentarily halted. Paimon breathed a quick sigh of relief before he heard the sound of someone stirring from a nap next to him.

“Mmph…” Belphegor shot Paimon a glare that only those who just woke up from an hour long nap could. “What took you so long?”

“M-my apologies, Lord Belphegor.” Paimon adjusted his glasses and frowned. “Pardon, but do you know where Mr. Barbatos is?”

“The kitchen, he was making something for Beel.”

Paimon had… he just left the kitchen… damn it. Paimon nodded in thanks and rushed towards the kitchen. The coffee was done, the paperwork was delivered, the fabric hadn’t touched the ground, and Paimon was on his way to give Lucifer his stupid- I mean needed beverage.

He limply pushed open the door to Lucifer’s office with his shoulder and placed the coffee on his desk. Lucifer didn’t look up from his paperwork and raised an eyebrow. “I did say quickly, didn’t I?”

Paimon bit down on his lip, a tic developed under his left eye and he clenched his fists until he felt blood trickle from his palms. “S-sorry, Lord Lucifer. I’ll do better next time, sir.”

“You’re dismissed, Paimon.”

The moment those words left Lucifer’s lips, Paimon turned on his heel and walked right out of the office. He was done, so tired and… and so angry! He just wanted to relax, he just wanted to relax. Paimon’s feet led him to the concert hall. Ah, he was supposed to be the president of the school’s band, not the student council’s resident doormat. He could just call on his undead parade and play some music… that always kept him calm.

His thoughts of relaxation were brought to an abrupt halt the moment Paimon felt the sting of recent magic in the air around the hallway that led to the concert hall. Oh no, please tell him there wasn’t a fight near the concert hall, please tell him-

Two of his band members were in their true forms and hurling insults at each other. Phenex and Eurynome were standing in the midst of a completely destroyed concert hall, the instruments were scattered around the room, dented and completely broken… the two brawling demons paused when they noticed Paimon at the door.

“Prez! You won’t believe this shit! Someone vandalized our stuff, and Phenex’s accusing me!”

“Paimon! You hafta believe me! I walked in and Eury was-”

Their voices had become unintelligible background noise, Paimon’s eyes were glued to the destroyed instruments, his instruments… he felt his shoulders shake and his chest begin to tighten. Why… why!? Why him?! Why today?! Paimon dropped the fabric and his backpack onto the ground and slowly dug his partially bloodied palms into his hair. To his absolute horror, he felt tears threaten to spill from his eyes. Don’t cry- Don’t cry! He can’t cry!

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHGHGGHHHHH!” Paimon let out a screech like a wounded animal, he felt his true form beg to be released so he could wreak absolute havoc on everyone and everything in a mile radius, but he yanked down on his hair and brought himself back to reality.

“Paimon?” The demon in question slowly turned, the human exchange student herself awkwardly stood a few feet behind him, seeming to not be sure exactly what to do. “Are… are you okay..?”

“Y-yes…” Paimon mumbled, his fists began to shake. “Th-thank you Ms. Himiko but I’m fi-”

Paimon’s voice broke and Himiko fixed the other two demons behind him with a glare that could probably kill a man. “YOU TWO. Clean this up right now!”

Before he could react, Himiko pulled Paimon into an empty classroom and slammed the door behind her. “Pai, what happened? Do you need to sit down?”

“Nuh-ne-no! I-I-if i suh-sit down I’ll fu-fall aslee-eep…” Paimon awkwardly hiccuped. Trying to talk through the lump in his throat was proving to be very difficult.

“Paimon… do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” Himiko’s voice was oddly gentle, almost sisterly in a way as she sat Paimon down in one of the desks in the room. “I’m here to listen.”

“Thanks Ms. Himiko… sorry…” and with that, Paimon began to explain.

———————

“BOYS!”

The scream of rage was punctuated by the slamming of the front door of the House of Lamentation and the angry clicking of heels going towards the living room. Six of the seven rulers of hell sat dead straight in their chairs, geez this little human had really whipped them good.

“Stupid human! Let go of my ear-yeeeeeeOW! Sorry! Sorry! Have mercy, tiny overlord-” Mammon was dragged into the living room by the ear and shoved onto one of the couches. She let her glare rest on each and every one of the demons before she spoke again.

“So, Asmo,” Himiko turned to Asmo with a calm smile, but the Avatar of Lust was anything but calm. “You think you’re too good to deliver your own fabric to the place where you work?”

“Uh… what are you talking about Himi?”

“Paimon! You told him to deliver your fabric to Majolish!” Himiko then turned to Mammon, who was already looking for an opportune time to bolt to the exit. “Mammon! You took his homework to copy, didn’t you!?”

“I-uh-”

“Satan!” Himiko stamped her foot and swivelled to glare at the relatively calm Avatar of Wrath. “You can’t just dump your paperwork on him like that!”

“Himiko-”

“CRAM IT!” Satan’s mouth clamped shut and he levelled an absolutely murderous glare at the human, but remained seated. “Levi! What the hell’s the matter with you!? Did anyone ever teach you that it’s polite to say THANK YOU?!”

Levi awkwardly shifted in his seat and sputtered out a barely intelligible reply, but Himiko was already turning to Beel and Belphie.

“Belphie! Beel! What the fuck were you two on during Fangol practice?!” Belphie grumpily lifted his head from his pillow and Beel mumbled out an apology. “Beel! You cannot just throw your hunger tantrums whenever you don’t have food handy, I thought you had enough common sense to realize that the kitchen wasn’t that far from the colosseum! And Belphie! Why didn’t you pack snacks for Beel like you were supposed to!?”

“Himiko why the fuck are you so upset about-”

“Shut UP.” Belphie was in the same boat as Satan in a matter of nanoseconds, the Avatar of Sloth rolled his eyes and went back to resting his head on his pillow.

“And you, Lucifer, the eldest and best of the bunch.” Himiko’s words were laced with enough poison to take down a fully grown grizzly bear as she stared down Lucifer with a glare cold enough to snuff out a fire. “I have one question: would it kill you to show some appreciation to the people who help you? A thank you? An appreciative nod? Or is your head rammed so far up your own ass you’ve forgotten basic courtesy?”

In a blink of an eye Lucifer was standing in front of Himiko. He was a good foot taller than her even in his human form, but she looked right back up at him with zero fear.

“Care to repeat that, Himiko?” Lucifer’s words were as sharp as a razor, he narrowed his eyes when Himiko didn’t even flinch. “If I were you, I’d choose your next words very carefully.”

“Or what?” Himiko asked, tilting her head slightly. “You’re going to try and kill me again?”

The room went completely still. It was so silent that they could hear Cerberus rustling around in the Underground Tomb. No one said a word as Himiko casually smoothed down her skirt. “You know what they say, third times the charm. Are you going to listen to me or are you going to explain to Diavolo why I’m a bloody smear on the wall?”

Lucifer held her gaze for a few more seconds, until he sighed and sat back down, still not breaking eye contact with the human. “What do you want, Himiko?”

“I want you all to give Paimon a week off, or, you pay him to be your actual assistant. Putting up with you boys’ crap should be a full paying job.” Himiko raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. “Give him a week off, live without him for a bit, and treat him nicer when he comes back. Unless of course, the seven rulers of hell can’t survive without their assistant?”

Lucifer bristled and crossed his arms. “…fine.”

———————

Sleep went by too quickly… way too quickly. Paimon rubbed his eyes and trudged through the hallway. Stupid mondays… stupid school… stupid Mammon… wait did Paimon say that out loud, because the Avatar of Greed and Lucifer himself were standing right in front of him.

“Sup pipsqueak.”

“Hello Paimon.”

Oh, Paimon must have fucked up bad somehow for the Avatar of Pride and the Avatar of Greed to have stopped him in the hallway. Great. Wonderful. Fantastic. The sweet release of death was coming. But what exactly had Paimon done? Was talking to the human exchange student a punishable offence?!

“Lord Lucifer! Lord Mammon! Uh… how can I help you?” Paimon smiled nervously, at this point, nervous was his default state, so this was his normal smile.

“Ya can help us by handin’ over your lunch mon-”

“Oh for fuck’s sake Mammon,” the signature clicking of Himiko’s heels on the stone floor alerted the three demons to her arrival before her voice did. “Stop being a douche.”

“We’re here to offer you a week off.” Lucifer ignored both Himiko and Mammon and kept his eyes fixed on Paimon. “Himiko noticed you were five seconds away from a stress induced heart attack so she campaigned for you to get some time off.”

“I-I-I’m fine, that’s very nice of you to offer but I’m coping well with my extra duties.”

Extra duties, also known as ‘nice things Paimon was doing for a group of demons he respected, which those demons then began to expect him to do all the damn time.’

“Paimon,” Himiko raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “You’re left arm is shaking.”

Paimon silently cursed his stupid arm. “Those are normal shakes!”

“Fuck dude… I don’t even like ya and I want you to take a vacation.”

“Consider it less of an offer and more of an order.” Lucifer said sternly. “Take the week off and come back refreshed. Your school responsibilities will be waived during your time off, now shoo.”

Lucifer waved his hand and strode past him down the hallway. Geez, what a charmer.

“Have fun, Paimon!” Himiko gave him a wave before gesturing Mammon to follow her, class was starting soon after all.

“Th-thank you Ms. Himiko.” Paimon mumbled and began to turn to leave, but Mammon caught the back of his school coat. Huh, a goodbye locker shove perhaps?

“Before ya leave,” Mammon cooed. “What’re ya doin’ with my human?”

“I’m not doing… anything?” Paimon said truthfully.

“Plannin’ on doing anything?”

“N-no?”

“Are ya sure?” Mammon tilted his head, his eyes began to glow dangerously. “Not planning on trying anything?”

“No sir!” Paimon began to wave his hands in an attempt to communicate some extra ‘NO’. “N-not at all! Ms. Himiko’s just a friend!”

Mammon raised an eyebrow and Paimon felt his stomach drop right to the floor. Apparently talking to the human exchange student was a death sentence. Wasn’t the point of this exchange program for demons and humans to get to know each other???

“Really now? How’d you two get to talkin’?”

“I-I uh, she um…” Paimon stuttered. “She swore me to secrecy…”

After blinking a few times in surprise, Mammon dropped Paimon right to the floor. “Alrighty then, I’ll just ask ‘er myself.”

Mammon then sauntered away like nothing happened. Geez… Paimon silently made a wish that Himiko could swallow her pride and actually admit the reason the two became friends so Paimon wouldn’t end up getting his ass handed to him by the Avatar of Greed himself. What a shit way to go…

————

Himiko gave Mammon a glare that could wither roses the moment he began to pepper her with questions about her friendship with Paimon. Geez, couldn’t a lady have some friends who didn’t want to date her? Was that too much to ask?

She let out a sigh and looked around to make sure that she and Mammon were alone in her room and that there was no one walking around in the hallway outside. Good, nobody. “Mammon, Paimon and I exchange gardening tips.”

Mammon blinked a few times and debated pinching himself to see if he was dreaming. His mean little human liked something like gardening..? That was… that was… so fuckin’ adorable! “You… you like gardening..? Really Himi?”

Himiko’s cheeks reddened with embarrassment, which really hindered the effect of her scowl. “Yes. In case you didn’t know, the plants here are very different from the plants in the human world, and I miss having a garden, so,” she gestured to the window out into the HOL’s garden where Mammon noticed quite a few new flower bushes. He had to admit, they were really pretty.

“Oh, so you two aren’t smoochin’ or anything?”

“Mammon,” Himiko smirked and fluttered her eyelashes. “Just because you’re hopelessly in love with me doesn’t mean everyone else is~.”

————

The moment Paimon stepped foot into his apartment he collapsed onto the couch like a… like a… tired person. The man hadn’t had a proper staycation in almost a thousand years, give him a break.

When he was done being a lump on the couch, he looked up at his plants. He hadn’t properly been able to look at them for a while- shit almost all of them were dead. Perhaps Paimon should have invested in a nice garden of cacti instead of fussy water-needing plants. Oh well, he had things to worry about other than his failing garden. His apartment was also a complete mess. After defeating his chronic anxiety by going on a massive cleaning spree, Paimon decided that he had a hankering for some sweets. He ordered in from Madame Scream’s and collapsed back onto the couch.

His pastries arrived and he was fully prepared to dig in until- A knock on the door startled Paimon from his stress free thoughts and the demon rushed to answer the door. The familiar faces of Mephistopheles and Satan awaited him.

“Hey buddy!” Mephisto gave Paimon a friendly (and a little too hard) thwack on the shoulder and walked into the apartment. “I smell foooooooood!”

“Paimon,” Satan flashed a grin and a friendly nod.

“L-lord Satan,” Paimon nodded dumbly, after registering what he was seeing, he stepped aside and let Satan into the apartment, thank fuck he had cleaned it. “What are… what are you doing here? Do you need me to do anything?”

“No, no,” Satan waved Paimon off. “I heard you and Mephisto were trying to solve a mystery and I thought I’d offer my help.”

“Oh! Thank you!” Paimon sputtered, he then turned to his pie, that Mephisto was busily shovelling into his mouth. Mephistopheles gave Paimon and Satan a thumbs up.

“S’great Pai!” Mephisto laughed at his own pun.

The mystery Satan was referring to was the mystery of the vandalized instruments. Paimon had asked Mephisto to help look into it, he was the former president of the newspaper club and had a penchant for getting into trouble and finding people responsible for trouble. It was a last resort kind of thing, really, Mephisto and Paimon never really spoke outside of their few shared classes.

“O-okay, did you guys find anything out..? Do you need me to answer any questions?” Paimon asked, sitting down at his tiny dining table across from Mephisto and Satan.

“We didn’t find much out today, suspect, but we do have some things we’d like to know.” Mephisto pointed a pie-filling covered finger at Paimon. “How do we know it wasn’t you who vandalized the instruments?! I can see the headline now! ‘Band president vandalizes instruments, Mephistopheles hailed as hero and reinstated as newspaper club president!’ I love it!”

“E-eh?!” Paimon jumped backwards in his seat, nearly knocking himself right onto the floor. “Wh-what?! Why would I do that?”

“That’s what I wanna know!” Mephisto slammed his sticky hands down on the table and leaned across to look Paimon right in the face. “Why’d you do it?!”

Satan grabbed the back of Mephisto’s shirt and yanked him back into his seat and gave Paimon an apologetic look. Ah, good cop bad cop, that was the game they were playing.

“Paimon, do you have an alibi?” Satan asked, his tone measured. Paimon meekly nodded.

“Y-yes, technically my alibi is you and your brothers, sir… I was busy all day, and that morning was the last time I saw the instruments before they were wrecked.”

“Mmm, just as I thought,” Satan nodded. “Paimon, does the band have any enemies you know of?”

“N-no,” Paimon said on reflex. “Wait! Yeah… um… a few demons… I have a list…”

He quickly began to write out a list of names. For someone who seemed so meek and pathetic, he had made a lot of enemies… well, less a list of enemies and more of a list of people who found it fun to bother him.

Satan raised an eyebrow as he looked over the list. “Paimon, how?”

“Wh-what do you mean?”

“How does a high ranking demon like yourself have this many petty enemies that you haven’t dealt with yet?”

A shrug was all Paimon could give. He preferred not to hurt people due to petty grudges, which was not a very good trait for a demon to have. No wonder no one respected him…

Satan huffed and nodded to Mephisto. “Well, we’ll look into these leads. Try and have a nice week off, Paimon.”

—————

Day One:

Lucifer needed his coffee, he sat up in his chair and leaned over to look at the clock, 3:30 pm. Paimon should be- ah, right, Lucifer gave him the week off. No matter, he rose from his seat and prepared to get his own coffee. He was a strong independent demon who didn’t need an assistant thank you very much.

When he walked into the kitchen, he nearly choked on air when he saw the technological monstrosity that was the new coffee machine. It had to be new, he had gone into the kitchen all the time to make his own coffee, hadn’t he? No, Paimon had taken care of that for the past how many years..? Geez, when was the last time Lucifer actually had to walk into RAD’s kitchen?

It’s just a coffee machine, Lucifer reasoned, he’d be able to figure it out in no time.

Riddle him this, why did this infernal thing have so many buttons?! The machine let out an unhappy groan and Lucifer was tempted to repeat the sound himself. Stupid coffee machine… back in his day coffee was made with magic, sure it exhausted the person more but… that’s what the coffee’s for!

After about twenty minutes of nearly fruitless labour, Lucifer finally figured out how to get the machine to make coffee to his tastes. He’d throw the machine at the wall if it made him decaf…

Lucifer (eventually) returned to his office and his massive stack of paperwork with his hot mug of caffeinated salvation and sat back down at his desk. His mind began to wander back to the conversation he had with Himiko the day prior.

Had he forgotten basic courtesy? He had known Paimon longer than Himiko could probably comprehend, was Paimon always this willing to get walked over? Lucifer wracked his brain trying to find the answer. He grimaced when he thought back to his time as an angel, but even then, Paimon was the same. A constantly frazzled Dominion who fell from heaven only to end up a frazzled and even more anxious demon.

It was so odd, when they all first became demons, Paimon was one of the large amount who decided that the best way to figure out their new demonic identities was to cause complete and utter chaos. It was an embarrassment, really, but Diavolo knew that no one could get that number of newly turned demons under control without ripping apart the Devildom, so he sent them up to the human world. It was devastating for the humans, but Diavolo knew it was necessary to save his kingdom. While up in the human world, everyone’s powers were tested and the pecking order if you will, was established. Paimon was right near the top.

One of the most powerful demons in the Devildom, one that watched kingdoms burn for his amusement just mere days after falling from grace, had become nothing more than an assistant. When and why? That was what Lucifer was wondering.

Tsk, he didn’t have time to wonder about the motivations of his little fake assistant, he had way too much work to do. He downed his coffee and stared down his paperwork. He was going to do this himself, or collapse from exhaustion trying.

——————

Day 2:

Mammon mindlessly gnawed on his pencil as he stared down at his homework. He was stuck in the library at RAD and couldn’t go home until his stupid work was done. His human had gone off with Asmo to go shopping… dummy… not that he cared or anything…

He needed help, but the great Mammon didn’t grovel! Wait, yes he did. But he usually didn’t have to when it came to his homework. That little nerd Paimon was always down to let Mammon copy his homework. Sure, if Lucifer even dared to ask if Paimon had let Mammon copy his homework, the purple haired demon would sing like a canary. Stupid little snitch….

…Mammon could have really used that little snitch right then…

He searched his mind for anything to daydream about to distract himself from the lame homework. Ah! His human! He liked to think about his human. Her cute little smile… her deep dark eyes… her soft hair that tumbled over her shoulders… her dumb but still somehow cute little headband…

Not that he liked her or anything! Uggggghhhh… this was going to be a long ass study session…

——————

How did things get this way..?

Paimon was once again lying face down on his couch, apparently cleaning only temporarily staved off his mental illness. At least he was spiralling in a clean house…

His concert hall got completely wrecked and his status wasn’t a deterrent to the stupid vandals… Paimon could and had crushed kingdoms beneath his heel! He’d sown discord across entire countries! Humans and demons alike begged to have the privilege of his favour, and now, nothing. Paimon hugged his knees to his chest and tried to ignore the feeling of his glasses digging into the side of his face. The tightness in his chest and gut was indicative of one thing:

Guilt.

Paimon was guilty. After being called back to the Devildom and seeing what he had done to the human world, he felt the worst most roiling and disgusting sense of guilt. He was completely alone, if any other demon that went up there and did the things he did felt guilty about any of it, they were amazing at hiding it. He had been an angel just a few days before he went completely ballistic…

Was his behaviour for the past thousand years some sort of bullshit atonement for him? Tsk, he didn’t have time to give himself a therapy session. He needed to go to sleep. He earned it, after all.

——————

Day 3:

Levi absentmindedly tapped his phone screen, the colourful gacha game was completely failing to fully entrap his attention. Ugh… just get the daily rewards and log out…

A crowd of chattering students walked into the formerly empty classroom to sit and eat lunch. Stupid normies… whenever he had to show up to school he at least had the ability to eat lunch by himself.

It was Paimon’s doing, obviously. After hearing that Levi was having a tough time being at RAD, the demon took it upon himself to make Levi more comfortable. After the first few times, Levi enlisted him as his personal crowd disperser.

He often wandered the halls during lunch making sure everything was alright like the world’s most anxious hall monitor. Whenever Levi happened to notice the sound of Paimon’s feet pattering against the stone floor, it was usually followed by Paimon’s meek little voice telling some wandering students that the classroom was occupied.

Tsk, dumb normie on his dumb vacation. Levi huffed and slid his headphones on to drown out the sound of the other students talking.

Paimon needed to hurry up and get baaaaaaaaaaack…

—————

Day Four:

“Alright, the scene of the crime…” Satan placed his hands on his hips and looked around the concert hall. The Avatar of Wrath had let Mephisto loose on Phenex and Eurynome for questioning. Satan now had the crime scene all to himself for investigating.

Most of the instruments were dented and ruined, hm… maybe he should have viewed the crime scene earlier when it was fresher. Man… all the fictional detectives Satan knew of would be so disappointed in him. Not perturbed, Satan began to peruse the room and take it all in. Well, until Asmo broke down the door shouting his name.

“Saaaaaaaataaaaaaaan!”

“I’m right here, Asmo, you don’t need to yell.” Satan turned and gave him an annoyed look. Asmo only beamed and clapped his hands together.

“No need to be so snide, Satan dear, I’m gracing you with my presence!” Asmo cartoonishly pouted as he almost skipped towards Satan. He looped his arm around Satan’s and began to try and pull him out of the room. “Come on! We’re going to have a self care day!”

“No, no we’re not.” Satan gently removed Asmo’s arm from his and shook his head. “I’m trying to solve a mystery, here.”

“Really?” Asmo raised an eyebrow and absentmindedly twirled a lock of hair with his finger. “Why? Isn’t this Paimon’s business?”

“Yeah, but Paimon asked Mephisto for help and Mephisto asked me, so here I am.” Seeing that Asmo wasn’t convinced, Satan dragged a hand down his face and prayed to the Demon King that his gossip of a brother could keep a secret. “There are no exams to study for, my favourite detective book series just ended, and Lucifer just rehomed a cat I took in. I have nothing else to do and I’m bored as hell.”

Asmo wrinkled his nose, then shrugged and nodded. “Eh, legit enough for me. I’ll help too!”

The two somewhat carefully rummaged around the room, searching for literally any kind of evidence that wasn’t destroyed in the fight between Phenex and Eury.

“Tada~ evidence!” So quickly? Satan had to stop himself from sighing as he turned to face his brother. Asmo proudly presented what looked like a neon orange fake nail, Satan crossed his arms and gave his brother a deadpan stare.

“Groundbreaking.”

“Satan, for a detective you can be really dense sometimes, I swear.” Asmo huffed and fixed his hair. “People who play musical instruments keep their nails short. Fake nails like these are expensive and are stuck onto the actual nail and sealed with magic. This obviously came off by accident, and it doesn’t belong to some band kid.”

“It belongs to the culprit then…” Satan murmured, digging through his pockets for his list of suspects. “Asmo, tell me, does anyone on this list have these kinds of nails?”

Asmo scanned the list of suspects and hummed to himself before snapping his fingers and grinning. “Only Amii would wear something as garish as that.”

Ah, one of RAD’s resident assholes. Amii and their partner in crime, Murmur, were frequent visitors to the detention hall due to their rampant idiocy. Their combined ability to learn absolutely nothing from their past punishments rivalled Mammon’s, and that was saying something because Mammon had gotten strung up at least once a month for the past two thousand years.

So, the little bastards had taken to bothering Paimon recently… perfect! Mystery solved!

Satan scratched his chin, then grinned. “I think we’ve found our culprits. Thanks Asmo, you were a real help.”

“It’s no problem Satan, really, you can repay me by keeping me company while we both have a nice spa day.”

————

Spending time rethinking one’s entire life and trying to cultivate a garden really sapped up Paimon’s energy. He wasn’t lying down on the couch this time though, his new breakdown spot was his kitchen table.

As he expressed to himself multiple times, he was sick and tired of being walked over, he may have hated being a demon, but he still was one. A damn high ranking one at that! He wasn’t some midranking Dominion anymore! He should be treated with basic respect!

The sudden ringing of his phone jolted him from his mini identity/respect crisis and he fumbled to pick it up.

“H-hello?”

“Paimon, you’ll be pleased to know that I have found the culprits.” Satan’s voice rang out from the phone and Paimon let out a sigh of relief. “Though, Amii and Murmur aren’t on school property at the moment.”

“Y-yeah…” Paimon was too emotionally drained to act surprised. “I think they’re on an overnight trip or something… they’ll be back on Monday.”

“And how do you know that?”

“I uh… I checked the budget documents you sent out at the start of the year to make sure no one was skimming funds again…” Paimon pursed his lips and sighed. “Remember what happened last year? I wanted to make sure Mammon didn’t cause you any extra trouble.”

“Ah, right.” Satan said. “Thanks for that.”

A genuine thank you! Paimon’s eyes practically sparkled as he nodded enthusiastically before realizing Satan couldn’t technically see him. “Y-you’re welcome!”

“So, I know it’s your club but this is also RAD property and I assume you know how much musical instruments are to replace…”

“Yeah… rest assured, I’ll deal with those two.” Paimon mumbled.

“Hm, I’d like to be there, if you don’t mind.”

You see, that was code for ‘I’m going to watch you to make sure you’re not just going to give them a lecture on not hurting other people’s feelings.’

“It’s no problem, Lord Satan.” Paimon said. “Come by if you have the time after school. I’ll put on a show.”

——————

Day Five:

Asmo was practically skipping through RAD’s hallways like he was following the yellow brick road or something. What had him so chipper? Some of his friends in the sewing club had agreed to help him sew some of his clothing designs and make them legitimately wearable! EEEEEEEE! He was so excited! He threw open the doors to the club and everyone… did not shower him with affection and praise. Pardon but what was this bullshit?

“Sorry Lord Asmodeus… but we’re in a bit of a crisis. Some of the sewing machines broke and we don’t have any way to replace them right now.” One of the club members said.

“How’d this even happen?!” Asmo huffed. “The sewing club never shuts down! There was a miniature hurricane going through RAD about a century ago and literally none of you skipped your club meeting!”

“W-well, normally we’d call Paimon to order some new machines or call a repairman because the student council usually gets really busy around this time of day…”

“UGH.” Asmo threw his head back and dramatically groaned. “Are there any machines in here that actually work?”

“Y-yes, about three of them…”

The demon pointed to three in the back and Asmo stomped over to begin sewing the one outfit he could do. He had bought nice fabrics and everything…

Asmo pulled out his sketch of the design, he smiled and set it down next to the sewing machine. He remembered how to use these… right?

‘Paimon usually fixes this’ ‘Paimon deserves a break’ ‘Paimon Paimon Paimon’ Asmo had to stop himself from openly rolling his eyes whenever that little pipsqueak’s name was mentioned. The Avatar of Lust had the stinking suspicion that the bespectacled demon wasn’t particularly fond of him. Everyone loved Asmo, that was a known fact, but Paimon had a funny way of showing it.

He never went exactly out of his way to help Asmo with anything. If Asmo requested help, it was always met with a cold ‘yes lord Asmodeus’. Hmph, Asmo had to hold back a bit of a smirk as a thought crept into his mind.

Paimon’s behaviour was truly a testament to how hard the Avatar of Lust is to get over~.

—————

Ready? Okay! The first step to becoming a respected demon was fixing the way he was perceived by others, and people mainly made their judgements on outward appearances.

Paimon was going to fix his self image! No more dorky glasses! Wait… he couldn’t see… damn. Okay, get contact lenses instead! Aaaaaaand he was out of those. New plan, the dorky glasses were staying on for the time being!

Hmmm… maybe he should flatten down his weird little crescent moon shaped Ahoge… Yeah, not going to happen. His hair kept flying right back up no matter how much hairspray he used.

Looking into his bathroom mirror, Paimon wondered how long it had been since he actually fussed over his appearance. 400… 500 years? Geez, that lined up awfully well with the last time he had been on a date… and that ‘relationship’ did not end well.

Oh well, he looked… well he looked like himself. That was fine. He just needed to fix his posture really quick-

The audible crack of Paimon’s spine may have scared his neighbour’s cat and caused the neighbour on his other side to wonder why their hellhound started barking, but at least he was standing up straight again. It was nice not to be slouched forward like the world’s most nervous Igor. Paimon stretched and shook out his shoulders. Huh, he forgot he was supposed to be 5’7 and not 5’5. He should have done this a while ago.

——————

The Weekend:

School was out for the next two days but the student council was still in the stupid building. Lord Diavolo had decided that the school year needed yet another festival week and it was up to the student council to budget, manage, and plan this entire thing, and to top off the sundae of stress, two of their members were missing.

Beel and Belphie were on the complete opposite side of the school, and their dear little human was having a hell of a time dragging them to the meeting. This was Himiko’s reward for not being an asshole.

“Beel, for the love of all things good in the world, I’m sure there will be snacks provided at the meeting, now get your face out of the fridge.” The long suffering Himiko practically begged. The attic nap club were stuck in the cafeteria despite the borderline desperate efforts of the human.

“You can’t know that for sure…” Beel sighed mournfully before he took another bite of whatever eldritch horror those demons called food. “Paimon or Barbatos would usually bring the snacks and neither of them are here…”

Foolishly hoping that the younger of the two twins would be able to do something, Himiko turned to Belphie, who was passed out with his head down on a cafeteria table.

“Belphie, wake up and help me get Beel out of the cafeteria.”

“No. I am asleep.”

“Belphie I swear-”

“Sh. Sleep.”

Beel usually carried Belphie’s unconscious ass to those stupid meetings because Beel knew for a fact there’d be snacks there, and now neither twin would move from the cafeteria. Great. Time to use the pacts Himiko worked so hard to obtain.

This. This was what it was like to be the one master to rule them all. It was glorified babysitting.

“BOTH OF YOU HAUL ASS TO THE ASSEMBLY HALL RIGHT NOW. BRING THE FOOD IN THE FRIDGE WITH YOU.”

Monday couldn’t come soon enough…

——————

To be concluded!

Author’s Note: Not too satisfied with this one, but honestly when am I ever satisfied with my own writing? Pai will go politely apeshit next part I promise

TFW you’re royalty and the local brown-noser goes on vacation and you now have no one to boss around :/ totally relatable right guys?

#obey me #obey me!#obey me! shall we date?#obey me shall we date #obey me Lucifer #Obey me Mammon #Obey me Leviathan #Obey me Satan #Obey me Asmodeus #Obey me MC #Obey me Beelzebub #Obey me Belphegor #Obey me OC #Obey me fic

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lovelyirony · 4 years ago

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that rhodeytony piece with the bots........... iconic. do you think we could have more of that sweet sweet mit era?? I just think they’re neat

Look. Rhodey hadn’t meant to build another robot. But Tony was at some business conference for the weekend, and Dum-E was just pitifully sad. If Tony had been there, he would’ve convinced Rhodey that Dum-E is a drama queen and acts like the end of the world is happening at any minor inconvenience.

But why not give Dum-E a little sibling? This is how U comes to be, and he’s quite the gentleman, far more gentle than his big brother.

Rhodey enjoys teaching him how to pick up socks and shoes, and how to put the coffee mugs on the counter gently, something that Dum-E is not good at yet, but they’re trying their best. (He has a stuffed coffee mug that they got from the pet store that he’s flung at every single surface so far.)

Tony comes back from his business conference (which ugh) looking for cuddles, dinner, and maybe a movie date night if they can get Dum-E to stop trying to escape the apartment.

What he isn’t expecting is for his boyfriend to be mediating a fight between two robots.

Two.

He stares at his boyfriend for a moment.

“Rhodey, darling, is Dum-E having a...play-date?”

Rhodey freezes.

“Oh!” He says, grinning. “I, um...made him a sibling?”

“And they’re...fighting?”

“Well, for now. Dum-E’s mad because he didn’t get to put actual coffee mugs on the counter, and U is mad because Dum-E stole the couch blanket. I think U is really into decoration!”

“Yeah, that explains everything,” Tony says faintly, sitting. “So...U? Like, the letter?”

“Yeah, you like it?”

“And you thought that it made a good name for what?”

“Well, it was more of a placeholder, honestly. But then he liked it!”

U looks over at Tony curiously.

“U, this is Tony. Your other dad. We used part of his code to make you!”

The arm bumps softly against Tony’s, which is an improvement from Dum-E, who tends to go full-force. (Although they’ve worked on it.)

“So...” Tony says. “You think with U, we won’t need to look for a babysitter for date night?”

“No, we will. We definitely will. Dum-E hasn’t adjusted to a sibling yet.”

“Poor baby,” Tony coos, patting Dum-E on the claw. “You thought you were going to be the only attention-seeker for a while, didn’t you?”

He glowers, wheeling back and acting very high-and-mighty for a robot who just threw the equivalent of a tantrum.

Rhodey looks at Tony, kissing him on the forehead as he leans over to lay on his legs.

“How was the business conference, honey?”

“Utter shit. I didn’t need to go, I was an ego boost for Obie to tote around.”

“Told you that you shouldn’t have gone.”

“If I said ‘no’ one more time, we would’ve had to have a phone call about my ‘five year plan’ and ‘legacy’ bullshit. You know that that gives me a migraine. Besides, he gave me a gift certificate to a fancy restaurant, so that means we get to have a good meal one of these weekends when you visit.”

“Who said I would visit with you?”

“Because Jarvis adores you and I think Ana wants to adopt you and force you to stay.”

“You make a compelling argument,” Rhodey says, pretending to think about it. “I’ll...consider it.”

Tony snorts.

“And they say I’m the asshole here.”

Two years later, Dum-E and U demand that they get a sibling. The dads are back home together (for now) and Jarvis has grown tired of reason.

“They want a sibling, Sir.”

“What, each other isn’t enough?”

“They have requested many movie nights where there are siblings or groups of friends, and I think they want to, in a sense, replicate the scenarios.”

“They’ve already done all of it? Wasn’t it them who got onto a plane for DC just because they wanted to see Pops?”

“Yes, yes it was.”

“You know, J, I still think that you helped them with that one.”

“I most certainly did not.”

(Jarvis totally did. He gets bored, you know? Besides, Colonel Rhodes hadn’t been home for three months, which should have counted for cruel and unusual punishment.)

“Well, regardless of your guilt in certain situations, we’ll have a family discussion about maybe a new sibling.”

Rhodey gets a text as he’s grocery shopping.

hey, need to talk about family stuff. can you also pick up some more colby jack cheese?

sure. what’s it about?

your son has decided he wants a sibling. he convinced dum-e....

got it.

Rhodey laughs to himself as he turns his cart around, going towards the dairy section. Of course U would decide something like that, it makes sense.

Tony is looking at Rhodey with a disappointed look on his face.

“This is all your fault.”

“How is this my fault?”

“You dote on the boys too much.”

“Oh, I do that? Who makes them Halloween costumes every year and hosts a party with all of the other appliances we’ve made over the years?”

“Oh like you hate those, Mr. ‘Here’s-the-hand-made-Halloween-playlist’.”

“True,” Rhodey says, setting down the bags. “Help me put away all of this stuff, half of it is yours anyway.”

“We have a shared fridge, Honeybear.”

“Tell that to your pomegranates taking up about two shelves!”

“Only for now, and half of those are Pepper’s! They’re not all mine.”

“Do you think she would want a say in the robot? After all, she does have to deal with U and Dum-E worshiping the ground she walks on.”

“And she is the reason that Dum-E usually succeeds in his smoothie-making,” Tony admits. “Yeah, sure, invite her over.”

Whenever Pepper is asked what it’s like having to be a personal assistant to Tony Stark, she always wants to answer with something like “oh, it’s really fulfilling to help a company reach its goal and learn so much from my boss to apply to what comes next” or even “oh, it’s nice.”

She got invited to dinner, and is now in a conversation about whether or not Dum-E and U, her boss’s children, should get a sibling.

And the fact that her boss’s children are robots, have two dads, and think that Pepper is the best thing since life itself.

“Why do they need a sibling?” Pepper asks, chewing on her pasta.

“Because they’re bored, and we think that maybe we’ll stop getting calls from the fire stations around town that they’re trying to wreak havoc again,” Rhodey says. “They’ll want to teach the new sibling how life works around the house, and we can start on security measures.”

“Can’t you just put a genetic lock on the door or something?” Pepper asks.

“They’re surpassed it,” Tony says grumpily.

“How?”

“Don’t look at me!” Tony defends. “Look at Jim-dear, who is obsessed with true crime documentaries! They picked up how to gain evidence and use it for proof from him and Forensic Files!”

Pepper puts her head in her hands.

“Just once, I wish that we had a dinner to discuss a business proposal or something normal instead of whether or not your two boys need a sibling.”

“Well, we are thinking about a daughter,” James admits. “And we wanted to talk to you about that.”

“Why, because I’m the only female either of you know?!”

“No,” Tony says quickly. “We know plenty of women!”

“Name seven.”

“Plead the fifth,” Rhodey jokes. “But you spend time here, and so we wanted to know what you’d want to see in a robot.”

“How the hell should I know?”

“You work for the best tech mogul in two hundred years,” Tony says.

“Tones, you’re entirely too cocky.”

“Oh shut up babe,” Tony says, no real heat to the sentiment. “Besides, I’ve treated you well, haven’t I?”

“Other than embarrassing me in front of every single government official every time you interact, sure.”

“You love it, they hate it, win-win,” Tony says, stirring around his mocktail. “But Pepper, seriously. What do you think about a third robot?”

“Well, can’t get anymore chaotic,” Pepper sighs. “And I think having a girl around would be...nice. Not as chaotic.”

“You saying girls don’t bring as much chaos?”

“No,” Pepper says. “I’m just saying that we know when to bring it.”

Butterfingers is born, and she is the most perfect definition of a “daddy’s girl” any robot has ever been. She wheels around with grace, although she can’t stop bumping into things and dropping things, being worse than Dum-E. (Which he actually adores.)

She follows Pepper along in awe, and can be seen usually in her office.

Curiously enough, the only time she doesn’t live up to her name is in Pepper’s office, where she handles things with grace and Pepper gives her little tasks to do, like delivering cups of pens to employees or papers.

Rhodey gets her (and the brothers) little souvenirs from his time away, and Tony has an absolute ball of a time making them all costumes and taking a million little pictures that are hung up everywhere in the building.

But perhaps the crowning achievement are the Christmas photos.

Usually, Stark Industries will take pictures of their employees, put a newsletter out, and wish everyone a happy holiday and all that.

But then the employees have an entirely different idea.

It comes from one of Pepper’s assistants after she’s made CEO, Julia.

“Why not have the bots be the Christmas picture?” she muses, restacking some of the papers Miss Potts had to sign. “They’re always around the office, and they’re the unofficial mascots of the business. I think it’d be fun to see their Christmas hijinks!”

Pepper smiles.

“Julia, remind me to add a little extra to the Christmas bonus.”

Rhodey finds the idea to be the best idea anyone has come up with in years. (Although it just gives him an excuse to take more pictures of the bots during the festivities.)

Dum-E is only too happy to finally be allowed within two feet of tinsel. (Unfortunate incident in 1998.) U is very excited to show off his understanding of symmetry and how to pick out the perfect tree, and Butterfingers just wants Pepper to tie ribbons around her wheels so that she looks “extra-pretty.”

Stark Industries’ holiday card involves Dum-E and U at either side of the tree, with U gently readjusting one of the many ornaments they’ve had the bots make over the years, and Dum-E is trying to pull off a ribbon from the top of the tree. Butterfingers is at the center, guarding any attempt to unwrap presents, and presenting her bow-filled-wheels.

Pepper has the picture framed in her office.

#rhodeytony #ironhusbands #rhodey #tony stark #pepper potts #u #butterfingers #dum-e #iron fam #anyways yes U is very good at decoration #dum-e is not but that's okay bc he's enthusiastic #pepper is done with her boss. so done. but she loves them all #rhodey loves his husband so much and so dearly #lovelyirony writes

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arce-elliot · 4 years ago

Text

Magnus Archives - First Impressions (101-125)

Back on my bullshit. Starting to get into the nitty-gritty of it now. Had 75% of the series spilled blah blah blah you know the drill!

EP 101 (Another Twist): - oh thank GOD some normalcy, hello Nikola - Nikola: Elias ur son is annoying - Michael: i'm going to kill you Jon: get in line lmao - poor little michael shelley he never stood a chance - bye bye michael EP 102 (Nesting Instinct): - BEETLE WIFE BEETLE WIFE - HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT BEETLE WIFE - also the boys are communicating kind of a bit maybe EP 103 (Cruelty Free): - this dude is so strange i love it - m o n s t e r p i g - awwww rest in peace toby - LMAOOOOO JON finally using his powers for evil EP 104 (Sneak Preview): - hoo boy time to cry it's Timothy Time - my baby Tim :c EP 105 (Total War): - wheeee another war one - I feel like this woman knows more than she's saying - "i'm lucky i suppose" are u sure buddy - "how long would it be that i would have to wait for death" dude just die sounds like it'd be easy in this hellscape - "gerard keay after he faked his death?" nah u wish it were that simple jonny boy EP 106 (A Matter of Perspective): - M E L A N I E - yo space boy does not shut the FUCK up - AYYYY THERE'S MY ACE REP - Elias: I'm gonna have to dock points for the murder attempts - lmao Elias is gettin' tired of his employees asking him to kill them EP 107 (Third Degree): - time for the American leg of the tour - Gertrude what the actual fuck ma'am - Elias said "here's some eldritch tylenol" - ah yes, back to your regularly scheduled kidnapping - TREVOR'S JUST IN THE T R U N K EP 108 (Monologue): - as a theatre person this person sounds D R E A D F U L - this was an odd one but i like it EP 109 (Nightfall): - i love these two so much holy shit - listen I KNOW i’m gay but like,,,,,found family makes brain go brrrr EP 110 (Creature Feature): - TRANS STATEMENT GIVER AYYYY - lmao spider time EP 111 (Family Business): - GERARD TIME GERARD TIME - my poor darling boy - Mary Keay’s A+ Parenting way to go lady EP 112 (Thrill of the Chase): - "welcome to buzzfeed unsolved today we're going to kill a man" - JON'S BACK THANK FUCK - a w w daisy misses basira :C EP 113 (Breathing Room): - Jon's trying to stop the apocalypse but Martin just wants a travel diary - MARTIN STOP TOUCHING IT - oh ew wtf brain kebab - jon: wow. interesting. what the fuck did i just read. EP 114 (Cracked Foundation): - If y'all don't leave Hill Top Road ALONE - poor lady she's just trying to do her job right - oh wait she's not...real? the web confuses me but i guess that's kinda the point - Tim ouchie my feelings - What a right little investigator, you go Timmy EP 115 (Taking Stock): - FINALLY a Salesa statement it's about time - m e a t g r i n d e r - HELEN!!! - aww poor Helen :c she's being nice Jon don't be rude EP 116 (The Show Must Go On): - lmao love this Archival Staff Meeting - Elias trauma bonding is not the same as team building - GERTRUDE VOICE HELL YES - Chess Robot - what in the Spiral statement EP 117 (Testament): - aw hell yeah mini doomsday diaries - okay martin is actually really funny lmao - JON BURN THE FUCKING PAGE YOU SHITLORD - oh okay thank u EP 118 (The Masquerade): - SHOWTIME MOTHERFUCKERS - Martin deserves a little light arson - Elias can't you just behold the door opening what an eldritch loser - oooooh i love this Martin and Elias face-off this dialogue is superb - Tim: Jon needs to learn how to sacrifice people also Jon we have to save all these randos EP 119 (Stranger and Stranger): - I'm two minutes in and I'm already stressed - Daisy: level up - Gertrude and Leitner yelling at Jon is just a Sims Family Discussion - aaaand there goes my boy :C EP 120 (Eye Contact): - Again, I lose another precious character and I gotta listen to ELIAS - Time for the Season 1-3 recap - Peter said "lmao nice" - "be seeing you" okay elias that was funny - "i'll do my best to keep the place afloat" okay peter that was also funny EP 121 (Far Away): - season 4 baybeeee here we go - Oliver Banks Time - me, eatin my chef boyardee: alright Oliver gimme a good monologue - "i've learned to live with it" i dont think you LIVE with anything mr. banks - i love his voice it's nice - did he just...manifest a gun - A FUCKING SATELLITE LMAOOOOOOO - georgie: sir your vibes are rancid I'm going to have to ask you to leave - wakey wakey jonny boy! EP 122 (Zombie): - Basira Georgie no don't fight - poor Jon y'all lay off the poor man - this statement is too relatable bye - JON'S SO WORRIED ABOUT MARTIN PFFFF EP 123 (Web Development): - CAN'T ANYONE BE HAPPY FOR JON LMAOOO - Basira: "wehhh you're not human also Melanie being a whirlwind with a knife is 100% normal" - GOD imagine if Peter never existed and it had just been Martin lying his ass off trying to save face - wooooosh - Jon: at least Tim and Daisy have the good sense to be dead damn - "play dead" G O D - spoooooooky website EP 124 (Left Hanging): - oh what's good sky grandpa - MARTIN WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOUUUU EP 125 (Civilian Casualities): - baaaah - the 16th fear is Scotland - we love a good DIY surgery - god Melanie's VA is brilliant

#magnus archives #tma

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giyuwu-san · 4 years ago

Text

burn the stage — part 1 // dabi

— A multi-chapter fic complete with your favorite indie and mainstream bops. Watch as you fall in love with the captivating guitarist of a band one drunken, perfect night. (BAND AU)

↱ PAIRING : Dabi x Female!Reader

↱ WORD COUNT : 5K

↱ WARNINGS : Mentions of alcohol, Suggestive themes, Strong language, Dabi being hot

↱ TAGS : @yusemis @lordexplosionsextra @astrrnmy @basicallyberry @j-brielmalfoy (I actually remembered my taglist this time wow)

↱ AUTHOR’S NOTE : Thank you sosososo much to @kaikamikazi for allowing me to use her likeness for Kai’s character! Happy birthday to my favorite clown <3 everyone please wish her a happy birthday woot woot !!! And also huge huge thanks to @doughnuts-5ever and @jojosmilktea for helping me proofread/betaread this fic huhu it was a whole ass mess you guys are absolute legends tysm!!

↱ PLAYLIST

↱ SERIES MASTERLIST

------------------------------------------------✈

scene one; no song

"Thousands of years ago, our ancestors looked up at the night sky and saw a field of lights."

The aged man paced around the room, hands folded behind his back and hair graying by the roots. His side facing the blackboard on the wall, he continued;

"None of them really knew what they were," he stopped and looked at the vast sea of students perched atop of chairs in the big room. "But, they made a fascinating observation."

You sat listening to your professor, your chin perched on your open palm, and eyes focused on the notebook that sat idly on your connected desks.

"They noticed that the patterns were predictable and had clear effects." The man said with some form of self-acknowledged eureka, his left hand coming up to the height of his face, index finger pointing up at the heavily-lit ceiling. "The seasons, the tides, the harvests."

"Incredible, isn't it?" he resumed.

The man was about to continue on his tangent. But that was until a hand shot up in the air, followed by a voice.

"Uhm, professor?" the boy who raised his hand asked. "Aren't we supposed to be learning about chemistry?"

Your professor looked at him, who now appeared to be slightly frightened by the blank but disrupted gaze of his teacher.

“Pfft—”

You turned around to see your friend Kai, her head resting upon her folded arms. Was she seriously trying to sleep through the lesson again?

“The one opportunity we got to sleep,” she sighed. “You just had to ruin it, brainy.”

“Is that seriously what you call a sufficient insult?” you asked as you fully tilted your head towards her direction.

“Wasn’t saying it to insult him.” She said casually as she massaged her head with the hand closest to her, face still partially buried within her entangled arms. “Wasn’t saying it to compliment him either though.”

You scoffed.

“You’re unbelievable,” and at that, the darker-skinned girl turned to you with horror in her eyes.

“Oh no,” she said petrified.

“What?”

“You’re being a Karen again.”

You looked at her dumbfounded, sighing.

“I am not being a Karen,” you started. “I’m just saying—”

It was already too late, however, as Kai had both her hands covering her ears, blocking out your protests as well as all her other life issues.

You sighed once more and turned your attention back to your professor, your notebook still open on your desk.

“Your semester is practically over,” said your professor, standing idly in front of all the students, his left hand reaching up to habitually play with the fabric of his suit tie.

“So, let me have some me-time every once in a while," he continued.

‘You never let us have any me-time—’ is what you could feel the hoard of tired students internally screaming around you.

The aged man cleared his throat and set along to once again resume his lengthy ramble.

“Where was I?” he asked himself, his feet already departing from his standstill position in the middle of the room as he started walking about once more.

“Ah yes, so it seemed logical that these lights shaped everything else in our lives. But with the scientific method disproving all these theories, why do people still look for meaning in the stars?”

A hand shot up in the air once again, only to be shot back down by a quick hand gesture from the professor.

“Calm down now, I’m not done yet,” he said.

“Many prolific historical figures of our kind, such as the Iikes of William Shakespeare, have used the concept of astrology as a metaphorical expression, more than an actual study. Whether or not he truly believed in it, he still used the idea of astrology to create some of his most well-known epigrams to date,” he continued.

“With lines such as; ‘These late eclipses in the sun and moon portend no good to us.’ from King Lear, ‘A pair of star-cross’d lovers take their life.’ from Romeo and Juliet— I’m sure a lot of you are familiar with that one." He faced the students once more. "And my utmost favorite, ‘The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars—’”

“But in ourselves, that we are underlings.”

“—From Julius Caesar,” the professor smiled. “Well done, Miss L/N.”

Shock settled into your form, having realized that you had said that much louder than you had anticipated. Now with the burning stares of your classmates and uncontrolled laughter coming from a seatmate you used to call your best friend, you let out an exasperated sigh, head falling onto your desk and arms protecting you from the unfiltered judgment of the outside world.

You sighed for what seemed like the thousandth time that day before finally coming out of hiding, your chin once again finding shelter in your welcoming palm. You stared down at your open notebook, observing each line and angle. Stared at the drawings of orbits clashing together with the unwelcome intrusion of jotted scientific equations. A picture of the sun as each planet aligned themselves accordingly within their rotation, along with the lengthy compound formula of 4 Bromo, 3-4 Dichloro, Ethyl Hexanoate, written briskly, and uncared for.

But despite your apparent unhappiness and deep-rooted sorrow, you lifted your head forward and listened to the lesson in front of you.

"You seriously need to loosen up," said Kai, her head faced towards you. "When was the last time you danced to music alone in your bedroom?"

You thought about it for a second.

She sighed.

"You're so sad," she sighed once more and patted your head. "Poor baby."

She brought her hand down from the crown of your head, arm now resting on your shoulders as she brought you in closer.

"I'm gonna get you laid tonight," she said with conviction. You looked at her profile, absolutely bewildered.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"That's right," she nodded her head in content. "You're having sex tonight, just leave it to me."

"Shouldn't we work on having me dance to music alone in my bedroom first?" you countered.

"Even better," she grinned at you with the type of grin your primary teachers warned you about. You know, those creepy man smiles that you should run away from when faced with in a dark, ominous alley? "I'm taking you to a bar."

You could feel Mrs. Peterson screaming at you to run.

But nobody really listened to Mrs. Peterson. Sorry.

You sighed once more at your beaming friend and nodded your head slowly.

"Whatever," you finally said. Attention spanning back to the lecture in front of you as you turned your head. "After the class ends."

Kai smiled and leaned back into her chair, legs crossing and folded arms supporting her head from behind. She looked utterly satisfied.

"Alright Karen," she said.

"My name is not Karen," you grumbled.

"Then stop being such a Karen and let me have my fun," she closed her eyes and smiled. Totally abandoning the lecture playing out before her. Chemistry was all just a bunch of bullshit anyway.

scene two; black eyes

Ambient lighting and muffled voices were what greeted you and Kai as you both entered the bar. The light that shone down above you cast an evanescent sheen across the tiny, hidden bar.

You fumbled in with your red dress and heeled boots, bridging the edge of comfortable and painfully exposed. It’s been years since you've last worn a dress.

"Are you sure this isn't some kind of ancient speakeasy?" you asked Kai, uneasy.

"A speakeasy for bands and stuff sure," she shrugged. "Sadly, no dancing flapper girls, so sorry to disappoint."

You nodded and started heading towards the bar. No matter how badly you wanted to keep up the 'holier than thou' attitude, college was rough and unforgiving.

You ordered your drink and sat down on the stool, Kai following you shortly after as she sat beside you.

"I heard there's gonna be a good band playing tonight," she rings up the bartender and orders a drink.

She takes one look at your drooping face and sighed, her hand coming up to massage your shoulder.

"Loosen up," she takes a sip from her drink, "just for tonight, okay?"

You sighed and nodded timidly, copying her as you took a swig of your own drink.

"Looks like they're almost up," she taps your shoulder. "Mr. Compress is about to introduce them."

"Mister wha—" she shushes you before you could continue, leaving you no other choice but to sigh and watch.

The man with the strange name took center-stage with the microphone in his hand. The crowd seemed to know who he was, for they cheered and started gathering at the front of the stage.

"Let's go take a closer look too," Kai stood up and started dragging you with her. "Take your drink with you."

You looked at the already half-empty glass and shrugged, opting to chug it down instead. You finished your drink and walked with Kai towards the pit of people, still confused about what exactly was going on.

The strangely named man started to speak.

"Ladies and gentlemen," he threw his free hand in the air by his side flamboyantly. "What an incredible pleasure to have you all here tonight. I am delighted to see some familiar faces, and some new ones too."

He grinned.

"I'm sure a lot of you are here to relieve some stress, no?" he asked, and the crowd cheered in affirmation. The man chuckled and continued;

"Well, I best not keep my wonderful patrons waiting then." The crowd cheered louder. "Without further delay, may I present to you, The Villain League!"

The crowd roared as four people took the stage, varied instruments at their disposal, but the one that caught your eye was the one that stood at the center, a guitarist, and a good looking one at that.

He was mostly dressed in dark clothing, aside from the white t-shirt he wore under his long coat. His features were hidden beneath the shadow cast by the dimmed lights.

And that was when the music started.

Electric guitar blinded your senses and opened your eyes. The exhilarating sound numbed the nerves that coursed through your entire body. Every hair on your body stood on its roots, awakened by the new thrill of music.

The lights turned on to the max, and the crowd went wild. Hands flew up in the air, the drinks in the opposite limb gambling on the edge of death.

It was music like you've never heard before.

"Holy shit," you said to yourself, the alcohol in your system taking its effect.

The man in the middle started singing, and you gasped as you took in the rest of his features. A good portion of his face and neck were covered in burn marks, as well as the top of his torso, which then spread across his arms. You awed.

How could someone who looked so damaged be so perfect?

Your eyes watched in wonder as your ears listened with delight. You made a mental note to thank Kai for dragging you into one of the best nights of your life.

So this is what college was supposed to be like.

You smiled, feeling the bricks fall off your shoulders. You stood straighter as your eyes opened wider, and shined even brighter.

This is so awesome.

You threw your hands in the air and let out a scream with the rest of the crowd. Kai catches sight of this and follows along with your mania, a laugh escaping her lips.

You were enjoying the aura of absolute chaos, but nothing had prepared you the moment your eyes caught his, staring right back at you. His mouth formed a devilish smile that made all the heat rush through your body in mere seconds.

"The girl in the red dress," he said into the microphone. Your eyes widened in unalloyed shock as they caught sight of the mischievous glint in his own. "Come out on stage with us."

What the fuck?

The crowd cheered louder and started to look around to find who he was referring to. They soon caught sight of you, who was still calculating the odds of you being the only girl in red.

The sea of people parted and formed a direct path from you to the stage, and you were honestly shell shocked.

Kai laughed and cheered you on.

"Congrats Karen, you've officially been promoted to Moses!" she cheered even louder.

"What, I—" you sputtered out.

Kai took her left hand and smacked your back, forcing you to stumble forward.

"Go!" she yelled at you through the howls of the crowd. "Get. Fucking. Laid!"

At that, the crowd burst into an explosion of screams. Whistles and hoots were all that was heard as your shaking legs made its way towards the stage.

You eventually made it to the edge, and the enigmatic guitarist leaned down to help you. Grasping your hand firmly in his, he hoisted you up easily.

"What's your name?" he leaned into your ear as he said it, his steady voice combating all other noises, and winning.

"Y/N," you said right back into his ear, a shiver coursing through your body as the current situation was doing its number on your sanity.

"Nice shoes Y/N," he said cooly, and your head started spinning.

"Uh, thank you—"

"Let's have a good time together," he smirked at you, who blushed madly.

You looked over at the rest of his bandmates. A young girl with a blonde fringe manning the second electric guitar, she looked at you and grinned widely at you. Eyes smiled shut and tongue jutting out, she threw you a peace sign in welcome.

You looked behind you and saw a strange-looking man playing both the bass and keyboard. You made eye contact with him and he smiled, only for him to completely change his expression and give you the stink-eye, much to your confusion and anxiety.

Finally, you looked over at the drummer who had dead-looking baby blue hair; he glanced at you and nodded briefly in acknowledgment.

"Don't mind the last two," the mysterious guitarist chuckled, "they're a lot more decent than they seem."

You nodded and smiled at him.

"So," he started. "Care to join in on the fun?"

You took a deep breath.

"Okay."

It was funny how you had started with not even being able to dance alone in your room. And now here you were, dancing along with countless strangers to music you never felt before.

scene three; ilysb

"You're new here, right?" the man said. He was sitting across from you with his head resting on his hand. His piercing blue eyes were focused only on you.

It had been about an hour since you stepped foot inside the hidden bar and thirty minutes since you were standing on stage with the band having the time of your life.

You looked over to the stage and saw your drunk friend Kai singing 'I Kissed a Girl,' microphone in her hands as she belted her heart out to the cheering crowd.

You couldn't help but chuckle, before turning your attention back to the enigmatic man staring intently at you.

"That's not slightly creepy at all," you answered jokingly.

The man chuckled slyly.

"I play here almost every night," he retorted coolly. "I would have definitely remembered you if you weren't new."

You nodded. Smooth.

"Fuck men!" you turned around to find Kai screaming into the microphone, one hand on the microphone stand and the other on the microphone itself. You sighed at the common occurrence.

"Fun friend you got," the man with burn marks said, attention also brought over to your crazed friend.

You sighed and nodded.

"I'm this close to dropping her," you said with no conviction.

He seemed to have caught on to your tone and answered accordingly.

"But you never will," he said.

"Yup," you nodded once more.

You looked over to him again, the alcohol in your body taking full effect.

"Wanna get out of here?" you asked him.

He looked at you with his eyebrow raised, a small smirk playing on his lips.

"And abandon your fun friend?" he asked you.

"Yes," you looked at him straight in the eyes as you said it.

"Sounds fun," he said, already standing up from his seat.

You followed suit, casting your drunk friend one last look before following the strange man out of the small speakeasy.

The cold night air greeted your body that clung tightly onto the limited warmth of your sweater jacket. You walked idly with the man standing beside you, the streets painted a dark vignette by the evening sky. The night suited him, you thought.

You let out a deep exhale which invaded the darkness with its cold color, the hues fighting until the dull white was engulfed by the overwhelming darkness of nightfall.

You looked up at the stars that were scattered across the sky, their white twinkle enrapturing the night sky with its light and color. Their light so bright that it couldn't be overthrown by the darkness of black. Instead, they were displayed up in the sky, allowed to show off their beauty with no restraints.

"Orion's in the sky," you observed quietly.

The man turned over to look at you.

"The constellation?" he asked as he too tilted his head up to watch the night sky.

"Yeah," you nodded, "I can't find the Pleiades, though."

Absentmindedly, your feet started moving in hopes to catch sight of the constellation. The dark-haired man watched you quizzically.

"Do you really think moving around will make them appear?" he asked you, who was now trudging farther and farther away. He sighed and started following you.

"There're so many buildings around," you groaned in your drunken state. "Can't a girl just see her stars when she wants to?"

He tilted his head in slight amusement and chuckled lowly.

"If it's the buildings you're worried about, I know where there's a field," he said. You turned around instantly.

"Show me this field, good sir."

"It's this way," he tilted his head over to the right, feet already walking towards its direction. You followed him, skipping.

You eventually were led towards an open field located on a small hill in the park. Wow, we had a park?

"Woah," you said in wonder. Your arms flying up from your sides as you spun around the grass, hair dancing in the breeze from your movements.

The man just watched you curiously, a small smile of endearment flickering on his lips.

You let out a big sigh of contempt and threw yourself down onto the grass floor, feeling at peace as the earthly bodies embraced you. The man who led you here followed suit, leaving little to no distance between your two figures as he laid down beside you.

"Can you see the Pleiades now?" he asked from beside you.

You looked up and examined the heavens, and your eye immediately catches the open star cluster that painted the sky. A gasp escapes your lips as you point up at the constellation you were looking for.

"There they are!" you squealed slightly, unable to control your excitement in your drunken state.

"Why'd you want to see them so badly?" he looked at you and asked.

"If you catch sight of Orion, then you're most likely gonna find the Pleiades too." You started, eyes focused eagerly on the stars. "There's this whole story behind them you know, about Orion and the Seven Sisters.

"It was said by Greek mythology that Orion fell in love with the sisters, and pined over them for 12 years. He would always chase after them in hopes that they would become his someday. But that was until one day Zeus decided to turn him and the sisters into stars. So Orion could chase them forever for the rest of eternity but never once be able to touch them."

"Wow," he said from beside you.

"Yeah," you said from beside him.

"You said they were the Seven Sisters," he said.

"Yeah?" you turned your head over to look at him, his eyes seemingly glowing under the star studded sky.

"But I can only see six at most," he stated.

"Oh," you turned your head back to the sky. "That's because those are the only ones visible to the naked eye. If you look through a telescope, a dozen more stars are visible."

"Is there a story behind that, too?" he asked.

"Yup," you stated and continued. "According to storytellers, Merope— one of the sisters, is hiding her face because she's the only one of the sisters who married a mortal and thus isn't respected for it.

"Her husband, Sisyphus isn't represented in the night sky either, cause he was condemned by Zeus to forever roll a stone up a hill in Hades only to watch it roll down again when he almost gets it to the top."

"That's..." his voice drifted off, "really sad."

You hummed in affirmation.

"You really like astronomy, huh?" he stated. "I'm assuming you're into astrology too?"

"Yeah," you answered.

"So, you're some type of zodiac girl," he said. "How quirky."

You scoffed.

"What type of music are you into?" he suddenly changed the subject, surprising you.

"I don't listen to music that much honestly," you said, surprising him, but not showing it on his face.

"Okay," he said. "Very quirky."

You laughed at yourself.

"Are you okay?" he asked you jokingly, maybe the alcohol was finally starting to get to him too. "Childhood trauma? Emotional baggage? Crazy ex-boyfriend?"

"Traumatizing college life," you said matter-of-factly. "And also just downright not having the time to listen to music."

"Spotify's expensive, too," you added.

"Ever heard of a radio?" he asked.

"Yes, but I can never concentrate on studying when music is on," you said.

"Ah," he said in a moment of realization. "It all makes perfect sense now. What's your major?"

"Organic chemistry," you said.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Makes sense."

"Kindly enlighten me then, cause I can't make sense of anything going on in my life," you said.

"You're a young adult suffering from the expectations and academically-focused constructs of our society," he said.

"Damn," you started. "You're right."

You sighed and placed your attention back at the azure before you.

"The moon's crying," you stated.

"What?" he asked, confused.

"The moon feels sad," you answered vaguely.

"The moon is sad," he stated beside you, eyes now focused onto the heavenly body in question. "The moon's just a broken planet that needs the sun to make it shine."

"Just because it needs help doesn't mean their shine is any less beautiful," you said back.

A long silence passed between the two of you, he looked at you, whose focus was still set onto the night sky. Whatever had you so enchanted by them, he might never know, but as he watched your features bloom with the ethereal sparkle of night, the twinkle in your eyes matching— no, outshining that of the stars you looked so fondly upon, he just sighed softly.

"Whatever you say, zodiac girl."

scene four; still with you

You were walking home with him in the cold night air, wind dancing softly around both of your figures as the gentle shrill tickled your senses.

It was colder than usual, you thought. But maybe that was just from the thrill of not spending your nights like you usually did, alone in your bedroom studying a topic you couldn't care less about. You sighed.

When was the last time you were able to lay down on your bed listening to music?

You were grateful for Kai, who you just realized had been abandoned at the bar she forced you into. You prayed for your survival the following day. You say that, but in the end, you were nonetheless thankful for giving you a college experience other than cramming every day.

You thought about what you would have been doing if you weren't forced into the bar, and laughed at the predictability.

You finally made it to your front door.

"Goodnight," the blue-eyed man said to you.

"Yeah," you said back. "Thanks for walking me home."

He nodded and watched as you made your way over to your front door.

You stopped.

You didn't know if it was the alcohol in your system, the cold night air, the thrilling atmosphere of spontaneity, or all of the above. But right now, you weren't in the mood to answer any multiple-choice questions.

You wanted to live for once. You wanted to feel anything else other than the dread of an upcoming deadline or relief after a grueling exam.

For once, you wanted— needed to be free of the expectations and academically-centered constructs of society. Constructs that you never wanted to question until now.

Even if it was only for tonight, you wanted to do the thing you wanted to do.

Even if it turns into a mistake, you would gladly take it for a few minutes of freedom.

You turned around and ran towards the man whose names you realized you didn't even know. But you were too far gone to be stopped.

Your hands found the side of his face and pulled your faces close, eyes meeting and lips almost touching. You breathed nervously.

"Can I kiss you?" you asked suddenly.

Shock and confusion flickered before his eyes but disappeared just as quickly.

"Sure—" he said, and your lips finally connected.

The kiss lasted for mere seconds until you pulled away, flustered and drunk and confused.

What were you doing?

You turned back around to enter your home and scream at yourself.

How could you just throw yourself at him like that?

But suddenly, his hand grabbed your arm and pulled you back towards him, connecting your lips once more. You could have sworn you melted.

The kiss lasted much longer, lips moving against one another and breaths being mixed together in the cold night outside your apartment building. Your hands in his hair and his arms around your shaking frame.

You pulled away to catch your breath, your air puffing up in the chilly twilight.

You pulled onto the sleeve of his jacket and led him towards your apartment, rushing past the other tenants and employees, you quickly got on the elevator where more kisses were exchanged in a drunken haze.

The elevator doors opened, and the two of you rushed out with you guiding him to your door.

You hurriedly put in your key, hands slightly shaking, the door opens and you hastily go inside.

He comes into your small apartment and closes the door with his foot, the door meeting the frame with a soft thud. He pushes you against the wall and your lips meet once again.

You didn't know how much time had passed with his lips moving against yours and hands roaming across your body, the contact sending both heat and shivers to course through your entire being.

His lips moved to your jaw, slowly making its journey down to your neck. Your breath hitched.

Some more time passed with low moans and heavy breathing coming from the both of you, now laying on your twin-sized bed half-naked.

You looked out the window beside your bed and saw the stars and moon staring back at you, illuminating your figures in its magical glow.

It was like time didn't exist when you were engulfed in his arms, his lips peppering your body in kisses and bite marks causing you to moan softly. You wanted to know what he was thinking, what he was feeling, with the moonlight shining softly on his features.

Your hands found themselves buried in his soft hair, time passing by faster as more clothes were being discarded around you.

"Y/N..." he said your name softly. His light voice passes by you, sending shivers down your spine.

Your breath hitched. Having no name to call out to, you whimpered instead. Your bodies intertwined together under the dim light of your apartment, and your heart taking timid steps towards him, tripping and falling deeper and deeper.

It was colder than usual, the low-pitched hum of the air conditioner you forgot to turn off comforting you from afar. Your body shivered more, not used to the sensations. It felt good, it felt really good, but there was something about it that pained you and made you want to fall apart.

The unfamiliarity of the pleasure and sweat clouded your mind and made you think back to the times when you were studying instead. This was far different than the dull absence your mind feels when reviewing all your lessons. But even then, thinking back to the simple emotions that came from your textbooks and notes, maybe these simple feelings were special to you too.

The night progressed further, and time was lost once and for all in the midst of your shared pleasure, the night turning darker as the sparkling sky glowed onto your sweaty figures.

You both reached your climax and breathed heavily, eyes meeting and foreheads touching in what seemed like a hazy afterglow, both your minds fogged and judgments clouded.

Your hand delicately went up to touch his cheek, his eyes shimmering in the glow of the night sky. He looked at you with the faintest smile. Underneath it was painted the most beautiful purple, his broken and damaged face sending your heart into a fit of shooting stars.

His body collapsed next to you on the small bed, arms encasing you tightly against his warm body.

You looked over to the window beside your bed. The sun was slowly rising, and the moon began to fade away into the brightening sky.

You felt your eyes slowly closing, finally giving in to the sleep you denied yourself all night.

Goodbye moon.

And just as the moon left your sky that February sunrise, so did the man who slept next to you that very next day.

#dabi x reader #bnha fanfiction #bnha oneshot #bnha fanfic #mha fanfic #mha fanfiction #mha oneshot #my hero academia x reader #boku no hero academia x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #dabi fanfic #dabi fanfiction #dabi oneshot #happy birthday kaiiii #mwah mwah !!

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starrierknight-main · 5 years ago

Text

Just North of Paradise - Chapter 7

A/N: I would say sorry, but that just isn’t going to cut it. Enjoy :)

Pairing; Sirius X Reader

Words; 2,036

Warnings; cursing, angst, a bit of second hand embarrassment, a smidge of pining to make it hurt a little more

Series Masterlist

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Over the next two weeks, Y/N had seen less and less of the Marauders. They barely showed up to lessons and when they did they caused none of their usual chaos and told none of their usual jokes. The air in classes and become studious and heavy. However, today was going to be different; Y/N had promised herself she'd wake up earlier than when the Great Hall would open and stay right until classes began in hopes of talking to them.

This seemed like a good plan the night before, but she was beginning to regret it when she woke up and the sky was still an inky black outside, not to mention how quietly she had to dress as to not disturb her dorm mates. After trying to tame her bed head she left so that she would still have time before breakfast would begin. She made her way as fast as her tired legs could carry her before leaning against the wall beside where the doors would open to the Great Hall.

She was startled out of her daze when Filch opened the doors to the Great Hall. She walked passed and Mrs Norris hissed at her as if she had committed some personal offence or insulted her family honour. Then again, she had denied them the chance of catching her by hiding in a broom cupboard with Sirius. She suspected the cat remembered James' curses and wasn't too fond of the memory.

The enchanted ceiling was a steely grey today. Y/N made her way over to the Gryffindor table but was stopped by none other than Dumbledore himself. It was almost as if he had been waiting for her to arrive.

"Good morning Miss Y/L/N"

"Good morning, sir," she said looking up at him. She had never spoken to Dumbledore up close and could say that he was much taller than she had previously thought, and he certainly looked his age.

"I've noticed you have become particularly fond of sitting at Gryffindor table even though you are from Ravenclaw. Would you care to enlighten me as to why this is?" Dumbledore asked, looking intensely at her with his blue eyes. She did just the same with her own Y/E/C ones.

"My friends are from Gryffindor and I firmly believe in inter-House unity, sir," She said, hoping this would suffice so she could sit down.

"I see. Yes, I also believe it is important. How come you are at breakfast so early today?" he asked politely.

"Just wanting to make an early start today, Professor," she lied easily.

"'The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.' Bare that in mind, Miss Y/L/N. Well, I shan't keep you away from your breakfast any longer," Dumbledore smiled, although it did look a little forced, before walking over to the staff table.

Glad that she could eat in peace, she began to eat without thinking much about Dumbledore's advice. It wasn't long before the Marauders entered the Great Hall, except for Remus. She waved them over. The three of them all hesitated before taking their seats at the table near her.

"Morning guys, is Remus sick again?" she asked, passing them a plate of toast. Peter nodded whilst Sirius and James exchanged a look. "Wow, poor guy. He gets sick a lot, doesn't he? This is the third time this year! He was sick only a month ago... And the month before that," Y/N wondered aloud.

She was surprised to have been given no reason as to why. Instead, James was swirling pumpkin juice around in his glass, Peter was half-heartedly nibbling on some toast and Sirius was staring at his empty plate.

"Dumbledore decided to come and talk to me, you know. Asked me why I was sitting at the wrong House table. I had to make up some bullshit about inter-House unity, not that I don't agree with it, but it was a lot of waffle," she said, changing tack. She chewed on her eggs thoughtfully and surveyed the boys in front of her. James had dark circles under his eyes, Peter looked like he might fall asleep where he sat and Sirius' eyes were missing the usual mischievous sparkle that kept them alight.

"He gave me some weird advice as well. 'The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.'. Not really sure what I'm supposed to do with that. But I mean, it's Dumbledore and he's a genius, so I'll have what he's having," Y/N joked to no apparent avail.

The corners of Sirius' mouth twitched upwards and he looked as if we might laugh, but James knocked his fork under the table. The ghost of his old smile immediately left his face.

"Are you alright? Did something happen?" she asked Sirius. For the first time since he sat down, he met at her eyes. He nodded unconvincingly, leaving the air stiflingly awkward.

Shouldering her bag, Y/N left the Great Hall and made her way to the library. She thought this would be a good opportunity to brainstorm ideas, but mainly so she wouldn't feel as if she was forcing her company on them. She took a seat by the window that had a view of the Black Lake which was currently being thrashed by the unrelenting rain outside.

First things first: Dumbledore's advice. How am I supposed to know what it means until after whatever it is referring to happens? It has multiple meanings depending on different circumstances! Why can't he just give advice like normal people? she thought to herself whilst taking some parchment and a pencil from her bag. She absentmindedly began to draw only stopping to smooth it.

Secondly, Remus' illness. Once is a chance, twice is a coincidence, three times is a pattern. He has been ill three times this year, each time exactly a month apart. There simply has to be something I don't know. I'll have to check a calendar, maybe it's something to do with dates? Thirdly, why are the boys so tired? They've been like this ever since I saw Sirius for our study session. I bet I did something wrong... Otherwise, they'd talk to me. Sirius would talk to me, she decided, making the line art of the sketch neater.

There was more going on in her head then Y/N knew because she had drawn the face of someone who looked a lot like Sirius did at the table. She had managed to capture the facial expression and the same empty look in his eyes.

---------

The rain had finally stopped and it was the last class of the day, Mugglestudies. Y/N sat in her usual place by an open window and Sirius sat a few seats behind her. Professor Burbage was teaching the class about why some muggles grow their own fruits and vegetables, but try as she might Y/N could not stay focused. Not when the tension that had been building for the last two weeks was finally reaching its peak.

Instead, she fished her drawing from her bag and worked on finishing it. She had found a way to enchant the paper to go between two expressions: sad Sirius and Sirius that was almost smiling. She sighed and drummed her fingers on the desk whilst gazing out of the window. It's like something from a bad muggle romcom, she thought.

Struck with sudden inspiration, began to scribble a note on the back of the drawing.

Sirius,

We need to talk. Meet me outside the Room of Requirement at midnight tonight.

Y/N

Happy enough with what she had written, she folded the drawing into a slightly lopsided bird and charmed it to fly to Sirius' desk. She turned to watch his reaction. The paper bird flew a circle around his head before settling in the middle of his desk. Sirius scooped the bird into his hand and carefully unfolded the note. His eyes widened at the drawing before quickly flipping it over and scanning the note on the other side. He looked up and met her eyes. He nodded before staring back at the drawing and putting his head in his hands.

--------

Y/N didn't show up to supper that evening. She was too scared to make her way out of the Ravenclaw common room in case she bumped into Sirius. She was sitting on one of the blue armchairs by the fire and carefully going over what she wanted to say.

She wanted to make sure he was okay and tell him that she was worried about him. She also wanted to let him know that she was frustrated with him for not taking care of himself and not accepting her help.

Time did not pity fools, as she soon found out. It seemed to have sped up tenfold because it was a quarter of an hour before midnight. She picked herself of her armchair and smoothed down her creased robes before leaving the common room.

The usual warmth and liveliness of the corridors had been stripped away at the dead of night. Y/N could see her breath hang in the frozen air and hugged her herself to try and retain some heat. When she arrived outside the Room of Requirement, Sirius was already waiting for her. She walked up to before clearing her throat. He turned around and she smiled awkwardly.

"Um, hi? Firstly, I wanted to say that I'm sorry about asking to me you here so late it's just that I noticed you didn't really seem to want to talk much during the day," she began whilst nervously fiddling with her hands. Sirius' face stayed impassive and he made no effort to make the situation more comfortable. The air remained heavy.

"I've noticed you and your friends haven't really been yourselves lately... Can I help at all?" she asked tentatively. Sirius shook his head.

"You haven't been eating as much recently. I haven't heard you laugh in ages - in fact, I haven't heard you say a word for two weeks!" she said, her fingers digging into her palms," Has someone said something? Is it your family again?" Sirius made no response, instead, he chose to look determinedly at the wall behind her.

"I don't think you're alright. And don't lie and say you're okay because I know you're not." His gaze wavered slightly but he quickly resumed looking at the wall, because it hurt too much to look at her.

"It's me, isn't it? I've hurt you," she said, her voice shaking, "Why won't you tell me that I've hurt you? What have I done wrong?" Sirius swallowed the lump in his throat and wished dearly that he could spit out the Mandrake leaf that had caused so much trouble. But he couldn't. He promised his friends he'd stay strong for them. For Remus.

"Shut up." Sirius's eyes widened and he finally dragged his eyes to Y/N. She was shaking and her cheeks had tear tracks down them, fresh tears springing from her eyes and leaving glistening paths in their wake.

"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!" she yelled, making him flinch. "You hate me, but you won't even tell me why? You shouldn't have shown up. It would've been kinder to just stand me up than come here. This, Sirius - this is just cruel. But don't think for one minute that I'm leaving it like this. That I'm leaving you. Because I'll never stop coming back, no matter how much you push me away. I will find out how I've hurt you and I will apologise. I don't expect you to accept it. But just know that by pushing me away, you're hurting me." she promised with a strained voice and her chest burning.

"Just talk to me. Please. Anything, anything is better than silence," she choked out.

He took a breath to steady himself, before walking away, leaving her sobs to echo throughout the halls. It's for the greater good, he tried to reason. 'Then why does doing good hurt so badly?' that little voice in his head replied.

Taglist: @may-rapp @treestarrrrrrrr @shinysilverunicorn-blog @angxllicsz @sir-lili @slytherpuffgal @fallern618 @play-morezeppelin

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always-there · 3 years ago

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About a new job

Nothing beats the feeling of rampant success like being a trainee in your 30s.

I remember watching Friends when I was a teen and thinking that even though Chandler's career change so late in life was brave, it was also deeply lame. I resented his poor life choices, I felt that in his place, if I reached that age and had built a successful career, whatever it was, I'd just stick to it and make the most of what I had.

Now that I'm a couple of years older than most of the Friends cast at the time... man. I feel ya, Mr. Bing.

I have a consistent tendency to become a workaholic in no time and overwork myself to exhaustion. And with overworking and exhausting come resentment and anger towards my employer. Instead of creating boundaries or trying to solve the issue with my company, I go on until my body and brain just can't keep up with it anymore and quit out of the blue. The company, who was happily milking me to their heart's content, freaks out. They counter-offer, schedule urgency meetings with HR to talk me out of it. Because even though I'm dead inside and constantly burnt, I'm good. I'm really good at what I do, and I'm also what I usually call a working beast. Not in a hyperbolic way, in the farm-bull-pulling-a-carriage-of-debris-across-an-uphill-field way. So I invariably end up leaving in bad terms from the company, spend a month or so trying to launch my freelance career, fail at it again because my obsessive anxiety won't let me live not knowing exactly what my detailed future is gonna be in the next month, and start again at yet another company.

And here I am now. It's 7 am. I have to wake up at 6 am in winter. This is my third day and I already want to call it quits. It's winter here, so when I opened my eyes it was so damn cold and dark. Like, pitch-black night. It's 7 am and I'm working with a desk lamp on, which gives the whole apartment a look and feel of being working overtime at the eerie hours of night that does not help my overall mood.

I know, I know. I should be thankful for the blessing of having a job in this uncertain time and age, when so many are struggling to make ends meet. I am thankful. But I am also tired and in a deep no-bullshit state of mind and soul that is not convenient to start working on a new place.

What's killing me is how disorganized they are. To begin with, I started on a Thursday. Nobody said a word to me. I'm working from home for the time being, so you can imagine the feeling of WTH when you're staring at Skype on your desk, waiting for someone to remember that they have to train you. I eventually gave up. I devoted myself to reading the endless HR messages and whatever employee manuals they sent my way and then I binged a couple of episodes of Cherry Magic! on Crunchyroll.

Then someone showed up. I suspect they are my immediate boss, but who knows. I don't even have a company organization chart. They asked me to complete about 50 e-learning tutorials for a determined software, take the tests that would trigger once I watched it all, and send them the certificates of completion as proof.

I told them that in my previous job, and the job before that one, and the one before the job before that one, I used to teach advanced courses on that software for professionals. Do you really want me to do this instead of, you know, learning something more specific to my position that would allow me to be useful to you sooner?

No, do the tutorials. It will be good to review the basics.

Fine. My fighting spirit is dead anyways. I choose my battles now. My boss (I guess they are) made clear they expected the e-learning to take my whole first day, and vanished into oblivion.

So, I didn't watch the videos. I accessed the tests through a different website that gave people the chance to take them without watching that fuckload of tutorials, completed them in 15 minutes, downloaded my perfect-score certificates and devoted the rest of my working day to inking my webcomic.

Day 2 was no better at first until at some point near my lunch hour the exhausted coworker for whose immediate benefit I was hired appeared and gave me a task to complete. I won't bore you with the details, but in short, they asked me to prepare a batch of files to be sent for revision before the final delivery to the client.

I was not taught how to do it. They sent me a link to download a previous delivery to use as a reference.

I managed to complete the task, of course I did. It's what I do best, I find my way on my own under pressure and against the clock. But I'm pissed. I'm pissed because this, you don't do *this*.

I'm fine with it because I am who I am, a 30 year old with no soul, no expectations, and a ton of experience dealing with this crap.

But what if I had been a proper newbie in the industry? A junior fresh outta college, a kid on their first or second job. Do you know what kind of stress this situation would put them under? How awful it is to be treated this way?

I was in charge of training new hires before, and I took pains to make them feel safe and welcome. I would spend fucking hours burning their brains on shared-screen calls on Skype, showing them every detail. I wrote whole ass step-by-step process manuals, so simple and detailed they were annoying, so that they would know what to do even if nobody had time for them.

This neglect of trainees pisses me off. It doesn't matter that I am able to complete the task at hand, that I am able to train myself. I shouldn't have. Nobody should.

I know I say I'm dead inside a lot, and a great deal of that is thanks to years of abusive workplaces. So even though I don't give a fuck about a ton of things, unfairness triggers me. I won't have it, I don't want anyone to suffer it.

So yeah. That.

Last Friday the only coworker that speaks to me (the others won't even say good morning back to you, there's a suspicious lack of will to live in this company) called me an hour before my shift was over and rushed me through a ton of complicated processes and technical instructions and deemed me ready to undertake the next huge project that client sent, from start to finish. They would train me sometime later, they said, and I left feeling uneasy once I had completed my first hour of overtime on my second day.

I shrugged.

This place looks as toxic as it could get, but the person I am today is overflowing with nuclear waste, so I think I'm prepared to neutralize their shit with a ton of counter-not-giving-a-shit in return.

We'll see how it goes. Unlike Chandler Bing, I have no hopes here, so I think I'm better prepared to thrive.

#slice of life #new job #trainee #toxic office #the office #at least I work from home so I can shit on the clock completely at ease

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diary-of-deadweight · 5 years ago

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can u do fluff for aizawa? like, the reader takes care of him after a tiring day at work? 👉👈 i will literally die if u do so

For you sweetheart? Anything.

You heard him before you saw him and could instantly tell his day could’ve gone better by the gravelly nature of his voice sounding a lot more sluggish then usual.

“I swear those kids’ll be the death of me one of these days.” Was all that was said before a muffled thud accompanied by a groan indicated that he must’ve flopped unceramoniously onto the couch of the living room with a overwhelming hankering for a well deserved nap; not that you blamed him, he was teaching the next generation of heroes during the day which in itself demanded a lot of attention with the added weight of his hero duties piled on top of that which also required a lot of attention, the poor man doesn’t get enough free time nevermind time to Oh I don’t know...fucking sleep!! Although Aizawa wouldn’t have put himself in this position if he didn’t know what he was getting himself into when he chosen heroism as a profession.

It made you wish he’d at least prioritise himself first sometimes but your boyfriend is know to be a stubborn little shit and won’t back out of something until it’s seen throughout, youcouldnt help but worry about the onyx haired, sleep deprived male but you would never bring it up to him as to not make him feel like you don’t trust him enough and to not treat him like a rookie hero stuck on a safety protocol whenever he got even remotely hurt. He’s no fucking baby! He’s fucking Eraserhead! Renowned hero that can take on multiple villains without breaking a sweat! You weren’t going to bullshit yourself in saying that isn’t something you’ve gotten hot and bothered over in the past because you have on multiple occasions, escpecially when he’s used that capture scarf (which he spent 5/6 years training to use properly from scratch.) to bind his foes *cough* and you *cough* in. Very hot indeed and he damn well knows it...fucking tease.

So being the sweet significant other that you are you whipped out a navy blue blanket from the closet beneath the stairs and tossing it over the tuckered out hero as he watched you from the corner of his eye, smiling slightly at how attentive and caring you could be when you weren’t sassing the shit out of him and it was a very fitting look for you in all honesty, he knew you were worried about him 24/7 but didn’t wanna tell him for his benefit of not being treated like a child and he respected that but he wasn’t stupid and turning a blind eye to your worries thinking nothing of it, he’s been extra careful since the usj incident in not giving you a fucking heart attack. He didn’t exactly know what he did to deserve you but he’s wasn’t about to fuck it all up now, especially with what he had planned for the near future.

“Rough day darling?” You cooed softly, brushing the stray strands of onyx out of his face with a tender touch as if you were taking care of a wounded animal, the gesture only made Aizawa more sleepy as his eyes kept fluttering as his limbs started to weigh him down as if they were made out of led, he nuzzled his face into your palm, silently urning for more affection to which you complied to as you couldn’t help but compare him to a cat while comparing his friend Hazashi to that of a dog with their differentiating personalities and attitudes that you couldn’t help but smile at the similarities. He may have made a reputation as a hero who takes no shit from anyone, a hero who is strict and would put his students into tough situations that’ll urge them into going beyond their limitations but you knew firsthand that if anything happened to those kids he’d be on the perpetrator like a blood hound, he would wholeheartedly die protecting those kids like he almost did during the usj incident...you stayed by his bedside the second he got commissioned to the hospital, only leaving for bathroom, showers, food and water breaks. It was a moment in your life you refused to admit was reality but that didn’t mean it didn’t happen because it did and it would haunt you some nights...more then you’d like to admit.

“You don’t even know the half of it kitten.” Aizawa sighs in discontent when you stopped giving him affection to retreat back into the kitchen to retrieve his cup of freshly made chamomile tea that was initially intend for you but Aizawa deserved it more then you in this moment, you could always make another batch for yourself later because right now your needy boyfriend required your undecided attention right now. “Well from the looks of you it must’ve been tiresomely nightmarish.” The erasure hero rolled his dark orbs at your sarcasm, biding his time to exact revenge when he watched you place the cat cup on the coffee table beside him before taking his chance to strike by taking you by the arm and yanking you into his chest to which you let out a muffled squeak of surprise that only made him chuckle and you to become all huffy whilst shifting yourself into a more comfortable position, snuggling into his chest as he wrapped his arms around you waist, completely encasing you within his comforting warmth, inhailing his musky scent deeply, sighing in content as our felt yourself relax almost immediately.

“Let’s just stay here and cuddle like a normal couple.” His chest rumbled like thunder in your ears when he spoke.

“As you wish my king.” You replied, pressing a kiss to his stubbled jawline that you TOTALLY don’t stare longlingly at when he wasn’t looking but you had a suspicion that he already knew that you did. Not even a second later the two of you were joined by your cat, a white furred Persian called, “Mr fluffy paws! You’ve come to join huh?” You spoke in your baby voice that you knew damn well would get the inactive cats attention without fail, he coiled himself on Aizawa’s stomach, his favourite place to be, purring softly as you ran your fingers through his lengthy fur, wholeheartedly enjoying the domesticity of your current position while Aizawa’s calloused fingers caressed any and every section of exposed skin possible. Oh how you wished it could remain like this more often.

“Aizawa,” he hummed, “you know your just about as needy as a cat sometimes.” You blurted unexpectedly making your boyfriend look at you with the most unimpressed face that ultimately made you choke back a wave of laughter so you didn’t disrupt mr fluffy paws because he gets grumpy when his sleep is disturbed and would become a fucking nuisance in exchange. “Weird thing to say but then again it’s not the most weirdest thing you’ve said entirely,” you smacked him on the chest for his cheeky remark, knowing that he totally digs your weird and random outburst, he even called them cute one time which made your cheeks burn candy apple red for the rest of the day, “but then again,” his voice dropped several octaves the closer he got to your ear as a shiver ran down your spin from how close he was to you in that moment and how seductive he sounded right then and there, the son of a bitch knew what he was doing to you when he used that voice then particular, “you love it when I get needy, especially when it concludes with the two of us between the sheets.”

You were thankful that you were lying down or else you’d be a puddle on the floor right about now with how nonexistent your knees are as your hands gotten clammy as they clutched onto his black shirt tightly, your face was burning red and your heart was going nuts. You attempted to hide your embarrassment in hiding your face within the crook of his neck muttering a consistent flow of “i hate you, you son of a bitch” it made him chuckle at how easy it was to embarrass you without having to push any sorts of boundaries, he dashed quick little kisses to your head teasing you back by saying in a amused tone, “aww but you love me really (y/n).”

To which you responded with, “sadly,” and within the blink of an eye you were in the midst Of a tickle war that scared off your cat from the sudden movements and loud noises and slinking off elsewhere to find a new place to sleep for the remainder of the night as your laughters encased the room. Yeah, you wouldn’t give this up for anything.

Bonus:

“Hey kitten?” Aizawa called out to you softly.

“Yeah?” You slurred sleepily, rubbing your eyes slightly in hopes of ridding the sleep that resides within them. “Were you by chance cooking food before I got home?” You perched yourself on one elbow to look at your boyfriend with a confused look, “Yeah...why do you ask?” Not seeing where this conversation was heading. Aizawa gave you a deadpan look before stating the obvious, “the foods burning (y/n).”

Your (e/c) eyes widened in shock as you leaped from the clutch and into the kitchen in a mad dash to save the food whilst screaming, “OH SHIT!!” Repeatedly.

“Can’t believe I’m asking that doofus to marry me soon but it’ll be worth it.” Aizawa told himself as he tucked himself back into the blanket before falling back to sleep with a small smile etched upon his face as he dreamt of the day of your wedding, he really couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with you.

#mha x reader #bnha x reader #bnha #mha #bnha imagines #bnha imagine #mha imagine #mha imagines #aizawa shouta imagines #aizawa shouta imagine #aizawa shouta x reader

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thegeminisage · 5 years ago

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merlin thots about the s5 opening episodes.......

here’s your courtesy cut

one of my favorite things about s5 so far is how very nicely arthur and merlin have both 1. grown up and 2. grown into each other...they still give each other shit 24/7 but it’s a lot more companionable and comfortable now than it ever has been. furthermore, both of them exhibit the use of MULTIPLE braincells even at the SAME TIME. they work very well together as a team even in the heat of battle (we did see shades of this near the end of s4), despite merlin being kind of useless at physical combat when he couldn’t rely on his magic for a boost. they can have entire conversations without a word and they’re just INCREDIBLY synchronized. the whole #vibe has really gotten a level up

timeline-wise, it’s been roughly a decade since season 1. in s1 they said the purge began 20 years ago (upon arthur’s birth), and shortly after, he had a coming of age ceremony - 21′s an important number, so in season 1 arthur began as being 20 and turned 21 before the end. season 2 = 22. gap year for s2-s3 = 23. season 3 = 24. s3-s4 gap year = 25. season 4 = 26. 3 gap years betweeen s4-s5 = 27, 28, 29. season 5 = 30. i don’t know how long it was in real life between seasons 4 and 5 (definitely not three years), but i really do feel like they’ve both aged SO much and they absolutely act like people who have known each other for a decade.

gwen as queen is AMAZINGNGLSDKJGHDSLFG she’s SO PRETTY i love her SO MUCH. love that she has her own serving girl now! this is what she deserves

the round table is good too altho it looks a bit too big for that room. it’s amazing though like...FUCK uther pendragon arthur has come SO FAR

merlin being nice to the new girl is very charming. makes him seem older and w-w-WISER (love that word) by comparison

also love that merlin gets to ride a horse while some of the footsoldiers walk. that’s #status. that’s *** ******

pretty sure i had a stroke during merlin’s vision of arthur’s death. the whole thing was done SO well - they go from the battlefield and arthur’s incredibly dirty face as he very realistically looks like he’s falling down and dying and then cut to a very alive and present arthur asking what’s wrong. you can really FEEL the whiplash, and also the dread settles in nice and deep, at least it does if you’re me and you’ve read spoilers, like, “only you can keep arthur safe” BUT I KNOW HE DOESN’T I KNOW HE CAN’T I KNOW HE FAILS and merlin might as well know it too because he looks ready to CRY and thru the rest of this 2-parter opening he acts like he thinks arthur may drop dead at any moment

i feel like i read somewhere once that actors don’t like to eat during a scene unless absolutely necessary because when you do 30 takes of something you get very full very quickly and some even go so far as to have a spit bucket just out of sight so that they can just get rid of it without having to eat any more. which makes it absolutely bananas to me that so often in merlin the characters are not only eating but eating very quickly as though they really have been roughing it in the wilderness all day & are absolutely famished...they don’t have to show them eating so often BUT THEY DO

arthur getting merlin into a tight spot by insisting he perform, planning on laughing at his failure? funny. merlin ACTUALLY USING MAGIC TO TEACH HIMSELF TO JUGGLE so that he could watch arthur’s jaw hit the floor? PRICELESS. i wonder how long it took him to do that, he definitely wasn’t using a body double

merlin is acting so bleak and dire in these episodes that even mr no-empathy himself asks him whats wrong, multiple times. they’re doing a VERY good job at really driving home the fact that arthur’s time is running short and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. merlin’s so sick with dread he’s making ME sick with dread. arthur’s here and being his normal dumbass self but the distance between them feels HUGE during the moments merlin is thinking about arthur’s impending doom

arthur all “i cant believe u can juggle i didnt even know you could catch” and then throwing the boots at merlin only for merlin to NOT CATCH THEM and arthur goes “see explain that” and merlin goes “wish i could” and i D I E

because he’s KNOWN HIM FOR A DECADE and he still can’t explain the magic and at this point it must feel like to him that he never, ever will UUUUUGH it’s funny how they can feel so close to each other one second and like THIS the next i am DYING

the little conversation they have when they make camp the next night is the same. the sad music plays, merlin keeps looking at arthur like it might be the last time he sees him, and arthur keeps insisting on asking merlin what’s wrong and trying to make him feel better...they’re really for real friends!!! they’re so serious and grown up!!!!!

ive lost count of how many times either merlin or arthur has been nearly dead and had to get hauled around by the other one

also of how many times merlin used his magic in a way that should have been obvious to bystanders and wasn’t

“if morgana doesnt kill you i will" “threatening a king is treason merlin” “what about threatening an ASS” listen. look me in the eyes. this is TOP TIER banter

remember how in the early seasons they’d bend over backwards to leave plausible deniability when expressing affection? like “we’d be good friends if you weren’t a prince” or “you’re not wise or anything but yeah you’re wise” or whatever dumb toxic masculinity bullshit...those days are OVER with. merlin speaks DIRECTLY from the heart. “i’m worried about you” and “i swear i’ll protect you or die at your side” he is not fucking around even a little bit. this fool is in love

they were ALMOST cuddling when they slept together under that overhang

the two of them trapped in that net was PRICELESS. in the early seasons i got a little tired of the frequent slapstick/juvenile humor and wished the series was a bit more serious but now that they’re here i cling to every shred of levity with my whole heart

i was SO relieved to realize gwen wasn’t actually planning on killing that poor girl - i kept saying the entire time it was very out of character for her, no way could she be that cruel

arthur: “you wanna kill me fine but my last request is for you not to kill merlin” merlin: “you wanna kill arthur fine but you’re gonna have to go through me” arthur: “for fucks sake”

merlin: i never do as i’m told! that’s *** ******

i dont care if mordred DID save their lives i NEVER wanted to see him less i am so full of dread

i can’t BELIEVE morgana also has a pet dragon. she and merlin could have been the BEST foils and i’m STAYING mad about it. she was actually so good in this episode - way less full of evil smirks - that i briefly rejoined the morgana defense squad and got REAL pissed when mordred eventually shanked her, ESPECIALLY after she was so happy she was nearly crying to see him again. WHAT IS IT WITH THAT KID AND STABBING PEOPLE KNOCK IT OFF

the snowy environments in this episode were soooo good. the scenery was just...top fucking tier and it’s nice to see them somewhere other than the same old places. also like NO allo but arthur looks really nice just wandering around through a bunch of fucking snowbanks with dirt all over his face

arthur and merlin’s little ploy to steal that dagger by arthur faking a collapse was SO GOOD. they’re SO IN SYNC. i was THRILLED. better still: he winked when he was done. he used like FIVE WHOLE BRAIN CELLS AT ONCE and he was ALMOST as proud of himself as i am proud of him. what a guy, that arthur pendragon

their escape was really good too. the nonverbal communication? top tier! they just give each other little looks and then proceed to wreck the whole scene. doubly funny when the slaver is like WHO SPILLED THAT STUFF and arthur just kind of jerks his head over at merlin. snitches get stitches, YOUR HIGHNESS

i barely felt one whole emotion for sefa or her dad but him dying was like. sad. this show is sad. why the fuck am i watching it. i hate character death. they were hugging

arthur seemed like he was having just the time of his LIFE sneaking into that big ol tower of doom. dude was all cute little quips and smiles. popped his head outta that lil minecart like a kid at christmas

i love also that you give percival nothing but a single sword and in short order he goes about liberating all the slaves, killing all the slavers, and then reappropriating their swords to a better cause. he’s a one-man army. i was SO impressed. and he really looked like he was having fun too

merlin seeing that lil baby dragon again was SO fucked up and sad. why can’t it TALK :(((

also lmao “merlin you cant be that stupid” “no i am if you dont believe me watch” and merlin bolts and arthur sighs with SO much longsuffering and says “im going after him”

the light in morgana’s eyes when she talks about wanting to have arthur’s head and then her stabbing him over and over without actually killing him...she’s batshit insane. rip

i do like that arthur sort of TRIED to talk her around...it’s the first time he’s really gotten to speak with her since the end of season 3 when he found out who she was

on a final note, though, i am less than thrilled with the knighting of mordred...how is it arthur can KNOW who he is, that he’s a druid, and can do magic, and LET HIM INTO THE KNIGHTS, and still have sorcery be outlawed in camelot?? it doesnt make any SENSE

#personal #merlin blogging #the preview for 5.03 played after this ep was over #i dont usually watch them on the first try bc idw spoilers #but i watched it this time #and it SPOILS it a little bit #im glad i didnt watch and got to be shocked

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ace-and-spade · 6 years ago

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Robots Aren’t Built To Lie | Meifen | Trial 5.5 | RE: Akito, Ariadne, ATN: Ariadne, Everyone

“Wait, what?”

“Miss Jiang was planning to end poor Mr. Mikage’s life.” What type of robotic snake bullshit-

Well that had certainly gotten the 17 year old’s attention after her impassioned spiel about her desire for her friends to not throw their lives away.

Then…

“W-What are you going on about? Killing Akito, m-my friend - is literally e-everything I would fight against. That just isn’t true, Ariadne?”

Well this was a surreal experience. The way Meifen balked with the rest of her peers and her exasperated tone sounded remarkably genuine. There was no defensiveness or reclusion in her posture, just pure… confusion. Also some offense, naturally.

Her, killing a friend? Ariadne what are you on today?

“A-As you so graciously revealed to the class, y-you all know someone back home w-who was - s-still is by the way d-due to public impression - has been blackmailing me for t-two t’ three years now. Just here, I-I had someone else who I thought w-was my friend get two innocent people killed. Alastair used me too.”

She’s fixed Ariadne with a questioning, unbelieving stare. Meifen wasn’t buying this, and she wasn’t known to be a particularly good liar. Dismissive of her opinions and feelings in the past, sure, but not great at lying to people’s faces.

If she was, wouldn’t she have spun what Ariadne said back then as something a lot less minor than being the blackmailed daughter of a criminal? Crime is a broad term, after all.

She shakes her head and looks at Akito for guidance.

“I-I told you more in-depth what even happened t’ me before the motive. I-I couldn’t forgive Hyo-rin or Alastair because they killed people who trusted them. M-Me doing that t’ you would go against everything I’ve been standing for.”

Her focus is back on the remainder of the group.

“W-What Ariadne just said is a lie. If it wasn’t, I-I would own up to it - but I can’t. Because it isn’t true. Not even close.”

She calmly pushes a lock of hair behind her face and faces you all with ease. Meifen really was being as honest with everyone as she could be, but she didn’t know if they would believe her. Which… sucked.

“F-For clarification… W-When I said “Yeah, I know what I have t’ do a-and I hate it,”? I was making reference t’ the price o-of protecting my dad. The unfair deal o-of taking a life to keep Papa’s somewhat in tact.“

The girl shakes her head, sighing.

“He’s a strong man a-and smart man. A-As much as I’ve helped protect him with my agreement, he’s not a kid l-like me. We… We would figure it out, e-even if it meant I lost everything again.

Papa’s told me several times since he came clean about his job that h-he never wants me involved with anything criminal. Murder’s pretty criminal? M-Murdering a friend is unforgivable t’ me. I’ve made that very clear…”

She thinks on it and now actually looks guilty.

“I… I considered murdering for this motive, yes. That part is true but… I didn’t act on it. M-Maybe I’m trying t’ convince myself I’m better than a-a coward but…” She sighs and looks down, “I just can’t imagine the pain he would go through, a-and I know I wouldn’t get away with it anyway. It’s suicide.”

A tired look is sent back to the robotic hostess.

“If you’re going t’ lie through y-you’re teeth: Cyprien, Moriko, o-or even Alessandro would’ve been more convincing. I-If I had it my way, I would dismantle you a-and end this. But, that’s just a baseless fantasy - right?”

Oy vey, what an unecessary headache. Taking off her glasses for a moment, Meifen blindly rubs at the bridge of her nose.

“I-I’m still not voting for someone either way in case that’s what that’s all about. You’ll hurt me, fine, b-but I still have some pride left after everything ‘Baekho-kun~’-” she seems to seethe a bit at the mention of this individual, clearly mocking the nickname with her manner of speaking, “H-Has done t’ me at this point.”

Gross. So, so…

“Why would Yoon h-have you lie like that? Y-You don’t otherwise but that surprised me as much as the rest of them. …D-Did he ask you to cause drama a-after their death? They seemed rather hung up on the melodrama a-after each of our secrets were revealed… except Moriko’s of course. He even had a camera out.”

Yeah, Moriko… she didn’t forget that. A challenging look is given to the Hostess. Alright, she’ll play. She likes games.

“Unless you have evidence? I can probably explain it in whatever context that was taken out’ve but those words have never left my mouth, as far as I remember or know at least… Did I say something that sounded like that?”

Y'all she just wants to sleep.

“I hope you all believe me, but? I-If you don’t that’s fine too, I guess. I know myself a-and I know I wouldn’t hurt him or Alma at least.”

#chapter 5 #trial 5 #meifen #submission

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blieves · 7 years ago

Note

“slurred words”

Get Puppy Hammered and Let Him Talk About Your Muse. // Accepting!

“That fuckin’ kid, again?” Shadow all but groans, kicking back another shot. “Fuck he is annoying… and so fucking over the top. We get it, yer… reprogramming reality or whatever, like… it’s a computer ‘r some shit. News flash, I don’t. C A R E just leave the the fuck alone. Like Jesus Christ…” a pause. “S’rry… I just… have you seen his HAIR like no shit you’re reprogramming reality… if I had to deal with that shit, I’d reprogram reality too!” He laughs at that, a soft sound in his throat, obviously amused with himself. “Seriously, I’d never… I feel bad for him.” Honesty now, because jokes can only take him so far when he’s gotten a glimpse of what the poor kid has been through. “God I’m tired of this you never know who might be bullying the bully bullshit. The kid has a right to act out, he’s probably got some bullshit anxiety that he’s overcompensating for because his mom’s just terrible.” a long pause now, as he tries to think about Media, and Mr World. Tries to figure out just who they are to the Technical Boy before giving up. “Are they even really related? Why the fuck does he stick around those assholes? whatthefuck?”

#( answered. )#( mobile. )#tchboy

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bts-dontknowher · 8 years ago

Text

Tension

I FINALLY WROTE SOMETHING NEW!!!!!!

This shit has been sitting ¾ of the way done for like a month and I’m so glad to get it out. UGH.

Also, this is dedicated to someone that I’m no longer friends with, but I got the idea from her and I hope she sees it. :)

Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Smut, Teacher!au

Word Count: 2,374

“I had planned to get your tests back to you by today, but I had a lot going on this week and my assistant couldn’t help last night”, Mr. Kim sighed and rubbed his forehead. Ah, poor man… He’s been really stressed over his divorce lately and it’s showing in class. I’m his “assistant”, but I’m just a student who helps grade tests and stuff. Last night, I had to study for my final in another class so I wasn’t able to come help him. He said it was fine, but the bags under his eyes say otherwise. “I’m honestly too tired for class today so you are all dismissed”, he stood from leaning on his desk and waved everyone off, walking to the other side and sitting down, “have a great weekend, I will see you all on Tuesday”.

The room emptied out so I walked to his desk, watching him pull a bunch of papers out of his briefcase. He’s so…hot and yet so gentle and fragile. “Do you mind grading all of them? There are a little over 300”, he sighed and looked up at me, “I’m not sure how long that would take”. I nodded and took them from him, grabbing a pen and smiling, “I’m free all night, you just do what you need to do”. He thanked me with another sigh so I turned on my heel and went to a desk, sitting down and getting started. He was in and out of the room making copies and scanning things for the first hour and a half and then he came over to me. I looked up and he yawned, apologizing softly after, “do you want to order some food? I’m starving”. “Sure, what did you have in mind?” He shrugged, “pizza? Chinese? Sandwiches?”

We argued over what to get then agreed on pizzas, to which we also argued over who would pay. He insisted that it was a thank you for helping him and went to get his phone to order it. I had only finished a hundred tests. They are 100 questions each and there is a short answer section of 5 questions that each require a paragraph. I’m honestly worn out, but I can’t do that to him. I excused myself to the bathroom and took my time, stretching my back and legs, then walked back to the room. As I got closer, I could hear him yelling at someone, his deep voice echoing throughout the empty hallway. “I’m so tired of this shit, Ashley!”

I peeked my head around the door and he was sitting, facing the board instead of his desk, “I told you that this isn’t about some other woman or about some bullshit that you think it’s about was quiet for a few seconds but I could hear her yelling back through the phone. He threw his hand up and laughed sarcastically, “yeah, Ash. I’m fucking one of my students, you guessed it!” My eyes widened and he sighed loudly, “almost all of them are underage”, she screamed ‘almost’ and Mr. Kim pulled the phone from his ear, “you’re incredibly immature. These high schoolers have more sense than you. Goodbye”. I backed up from the door as he hung up and turned around then waited a few seconds before walking in and sitting at the desk again.

The room was completely silent and then someone knocked on the door making me jump and yelp. Mr. Kim looked over at the door then at me, laughing as he got up, “that’s adorable. The killer pizza man is coming to get you”. I blushed and got up to get my pizza, shooting him a playful glare. We ate in silence then I got back to grading an entire hour passing before he cleared his throat. “Yes?” I looked at him and he leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest, “I heard you walking back down the hallway when I was on the phone with Ashley”. My eyes widened and I suddenly felt incredibly nervous, “I-I didn’t mean to listen, I just didn’t want to interrupt”. He shook his head and smiled, the tension in the room instantly evaporating, “it’s okay”, he shrugged, “of everyone I know, you probably have the most information on the situation”.

I nodded and played with the pen in my hand, searching for courage, “do you really sleep with students?” His smile fell slowly and he sat up, putting his hands on his desk and shuffling papers around. Is that a yes? I stared at him until he looked at me again, the frown still present on his face, “I don’t sleep with students, no. Not that I haven’t thought about it, but I love my job and gossip is too present around these halls”. I nodded slowly, “which girls?” He stopped fiddling with random things to stare at me, “what?” “Which girls…in which classes?” I saw the corner of his mouth flick up and I found myself staring. I really like his mouth. I never noticed how cute it is. “I don’t think that we should talk about this”, he licked his lips now, “especially since you’re only 17”. I made a face and shook my head, “I’ll be 19 in September, Mr. Kim”. He pushed his tongue against the inside of his cheek and nodded at my desk, “just finish that”. I nodded quickly and kept my head down as I got back to work.

I heard him get up but I didn’t look because I was so uncomfortable and I’m sure my face was still red. “Y/N.” “Yes?” I kept my head down, seeing his legs at the end of my desk. Yikes. “How many do you have left?” I flipped through the stack I was almost done with and then pointed at the last class’s stack next to it, “I have three left for this one and then one more class and I’m done”. I looked up at him and he was staring down at me, leaning down so his hands were pressed against the desk, “do you want to take a break?” “What did you have in mind?” He looked down slightly then met my eyes, “I have something else I could use a little help with”, he bit his lip and stood straight, “I’ve been really stressed with school and with this divorce, as you know, and I could really use a little stress relief”. I gulped and nodded, “what kind of stress relief?” “Come here.” I stood and shakily walked to the other side of the desk, gripping it tightly as he stood tall, smiling down at me. “You look nervous”, he smiled and set his hand on my hip, pulling me closer to him so our hips were together but nothing else was, “do I make you nervous?”

“M-Mr. Kim is this…appropriate?” “I think you should call me Taehyung”, he slid his fingers under my shirt and leaned down so our faces were only a few inches apart, “unless you’d be into that sort of thing”. I blushed and looked down, “I-I’m not having sex with you in a classroom, Taehyung”. “Who said anything about sex?” He lifted my chin and smirked, “I just want to see your lips around my cock because I’ve been thinking about it since the first time you offered to help me with grading”. I searched his face to find a hint of satire. He’s kidding, right? His thumb grazed over my bottom lip and I watched as his tongue slid out to wet his. Should I? It’s so late and there is no one here, and no one would have to know. “Fine, but it won’t be one sided”, I sighed and moved to my knees, “if I do this, you owe me now. I’m always doing stuff for you”. He laughed softly, “of course, Y/N. I couldn’t leave you hanging like that”.

I rolled my eyes and pulled his belt out then his pants came down easily. They’re too big. I swear men can’t do anything on their own. I stood and he looked confused which was somehow cute. “I just figured I could get you…ready before I killed my knees?” He nodded and cupped my cheek, leaning down and kissing me roughly. I moaned in surprise and slid my hand in his briefs, using my fingers to tease him. An annoyed, muffled groan pushed into my mouth just as his hips pushed forward into my hand causing a smile to break out over my face. He pulled back instantly, glaring down at me, “just get on with it”. “You’re so impatient”, I sank to my knees again, getting his underwear down easily, “I have half a mind to leave”. He hummed, so I rolled my eyes and directed them at the dick in front of me. I bit my lip and looked up at him then quickly closed my eyes and wrapped my lips around the tip. I flicked my tongue against it a few times, pushing it into the slit after.

I pulled back and a tiny bead of precum slipped out, so I quickly moved in to lick it up, feeling his hips push forward in attempt to get in my mouth, “come on, baby, please”. Baby. I scoffed and slid down as far as I could, letting him hit the back of my throat before bobbing my head slowly. His fingers tangled in my hair and started pushing and pulling to move me the way he wanted. I set my hands on his thighs and dug my fingers into the skin, forcing my throat to relax as he controlled everything. “God damn, that feels good.” I hummed around him and looked up to watch his face, loving the look on his face. Men are all the same. I hollowed my cheeks and sucked harder, grunting as he pulled harshly on my hair.

“Hey, hey wait.” I sighed and backed up, glaring up at him, “what?” He pointed toward the door and I heard the footsteps I’m assuming he was talking about. “Huh”, I stood and walked to his desk, “come on, we can be like a bad porno”. I grinned and crawled under his desk, hearing him walk over and sit down, “just stay quiet. And don’t touch me”. “Ah Mr. Kim!” I ignored whatever this man needed and slid between Taehyung’s legs, taking him into my mouth and licking around the tip of his dick gently. I admire his ability to stay calm in this situation, I’d be a shaking mess. “Yeah of course, I’d be glad to help.” His legs tensed beneath my fingers so I kept the pace fast but only went down about halfway. I hummed as quietly as I could, sliding a hand down to his balls and gripping them roughly. “Ow…t!” “E-Excuse me?” “I didn’t realize how dark it was getting outside.”

I giggled softly and his fingers tangled in my hair, pushing me down as his hips rocked up slowly. I heard him muffle a groan with a cough and he tapped on the back of my head. Ooh is that a sign? I sucked harder, bobbing my head faster and placing a hand on each of his thighs. Footsteps started retreating from the room and the second the door closed, he groaned so loud I’m sure the other teacher heard him. “Fuck, Y/N. You made that nearly impossible.” I bat my lashes up at him as I backed up and licked my lips, “that was the goal”. I jerked him off quickly, giving little kitten licks to the head, and he rolled his eyes, “I was close, finish”. “Ask nicely, hm?” I pushed my tongue into the little slit then slid him into my mouth keep my hand tight around the middle so he couldn’t push me down. “Please, make me come in that pretty mouth”, he breathed out sharply and ran his fingers over my cheek, “and then swallow like a good girl”.

I closed my eyes and worked my hand and mouth in sync, trying to finish quickly. My jaw is getting tired. His thigh tensed and his hips jerked up slightly, “ah-ah fuck”. Both of his hands held my head and he held me still, fucking up into my mouth. He pushed against the back of my throat then moaned loudly, cutting himself off as he came. I swallowed as best as I could, bearing down on his thighs to give him a sign that he’s killing me. He slouched back into the chair and let my head go, groaning softly, “man I needed that”. I pushed the chair back and crawled from under the desk, wiping my mouth and standing up, “you’re welcome”. I went back to my seat and finished grading the rest of the papers, ignoring his presence altogether. I can’t believe I sucked my teacher’s dick… “Here”, I set the folder of papers, divided up by class, on his desk and flashed him the fakest smile I could muster, “I’ll see you next week”.

“Wait.”

I turned back to him and he sighed, “you said you wanted me to start paying you back for what you’ve done for me, right?” “It’s not that big of a deal”, I shrugged and played with the hem of my shirt, “I sucked you off, you could bump my B to an A”. He came around his desk and slid his arm around my waist, pulling me into him, “fine, then I want to repay you”. I shivered and shook my head but he nodded, “we’re not done”. “I need to go home.” “Tomorrow night, then, I’ll send you the address”, he leaned down swiftly and kissed me, making me jump and push him back, “no more public displays of whatever this is”. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” I looked all over his face then nodded, “tomorrow…” He let me go so I tugged on my clothes and left quickly, trying to hide my blush and smile. I thought he just wanted that one-time thing but…he actually wants to continue. I’ve wanted this opportunity for a long time and it’s finally here. I can’t believe it.

I have a couple directions I could take this one. I’m not sure if I want to leave it as it is or write a couple more chapters. Let me know if you want some more!

-Churro

#kim taehyung #taehyung #taetae #bts v #bts taehyung #bts kim taehyung #bts #bangtan #bangtan sonyeondan #taehyung smut #tae smut #bts v smut #kim taehyung smut

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winter-peonies · 7 years ago

Text

My Neighbour is My Boss Chapter 3

Kagura gets a new job as a secretary and Sougo happens to be her boss. What makes matters worse is that he’s also her neighbour…

(Office AU)

Read Chapter 1 here

Read the previous chapter here

Alongside being on Tumblr, this story is also on FanFiction here

Kagura slumped back into her chair letting out a loud sigh.

Kagura spent the whole morning scrambling around the building running errands for her new boss and she did not like one bit of it. Alongside the extensive list that ranged from simple office tasks such as printing to more questionable tasks such as taking his suits in for dry-cleaning, the relentless boss kept piling on the tasks.

“Newbie I need coffee.”

“Newbie I need you to send an e-mail.”

“Newbie I need you to schedule a meeting.”

“Newbie I need you to take a call for me.”

Kagura swore if she heard ‘Newbie’ one more time she would murder her boss. Hearing the kettle boil she trudged to the kitchen utensil and made herself some Chinese tea. She glanced at the clock hoping it was finally time for lunch. The clock read ten o’clock and Kagura groaned grumpily returning to her seat with a warm cup of tea.

“Hey Newbie I need you to – ” Sougo walked up to her with his phone in his hand.

“Mr Okita I have a name.” Kagura rudely interjected before taking a long sip of the soothing beverage. “Why do you have to call me Newbie? It’s demeaning.”

Sougo raised an eyebrow and looked down to his phone. “So what am I supposed to call you then? I think Newbie suits you fine. I mean, you are new and let’s be real, no one knows your name yet.”

Kagura’s eye twitched. “And that makes it okay to call me Newbie? At least try to learn my name Mr Okita.” She pulled out a scrap piece of paper and wrote her name in big capital letters. “See it’s K A G U R A which spells Kagura.”

“Oh no, but I like seeing you uncomfortable Newbie.” Sougo smirked. “Why did you think I gave you all those tasks?” He leaned over Kagura’s desk and towards her ear. “Now why don’t you be a good little girl and get you big boss another coffee?”

Kagura tried everything in her willpower to restrain herself from slapping Sougo. She gritted her teeth and stood up, face red with anger. “I’m sorry but we’ve run out of coffee because of how you’re such a black hole for coffee.”

Sougo rolled his eyes. “I think it was you who drank all the coffee Newbie. I mean, look at all this energy you have talking back to your poor boss.”

“Me?!” Kagura replied exasperatedly. “I don’t even drink coffee! I drink tea!”

“Tea? How civilised for some slob like you.” the sandy-haired male raised an eyebrow. “What kind of ‘refined’ tea do you happen to drink then?”

“Chinese tea.” Kagura pointed to her cup, smiling proudly. “Green tea, jasmine tea… all that stuff. It’s good for you. It helps you keep healthy and stay young.”

“That’s settled then.” Sougo began to walk back to his office. “China, bring me some tea.”

“China?”

“You’re new nickname you idiot. Or should I revert back to Newbie?”

XOX

The next hour went relatively slow with Kagura having her eyes glued to her computer screen for most the time after she made her boss a cup of tea. To her surprise and her relief, Sougo did not bother her with anything whilst she was working. It was quite a relaxing change to be honest.

Kagura took another sip of tea as she continued to reply to her boss’ e-mails. He was quite popular with everyone in more ways than one. The secretary already lost count of how many love confessions and date requests from numerous employees within the first five minutes of sorting out his e-mails. She felt sorry for the love-smitten women who didn’t know his true self as there would definitely be a drop in these e-mails.

Her concentration was broken when her phone began to ring. Kagura sighed and picked up the landline. Along with e-mails, Kagura had also received many phone calls from fellow employees often asking to talk with her popular boss. The first few calls went through to him and Sougo had scolded her for letting them through.

“China, this is a work line. I don’t want to be pestered by these annoying women, okay? Just say I’m out and busy or something otherwise I’ll just return to calling you Newbie.”

This idea sent shivers down her spine as she recalled the condescending experience of being called that.

“Hello, this is Mr Okita’s office. I’m terribly sorry but Mr Okita is o-” Kagura droned.

“Bullshit. I know he’s not out, Sougo’s probably asleep doing nothing or something.” A familiar male voice cut in gruffly.

“A-ah, Mr Hijikata!” Kagura felt her cheeks burn as she heard the reply. “Would you like to speak to Mr Okita?”

“Of course. Why else would I call this number?”

Kagura mentally slapped herself. How could she be so dumb? She sighed. “Sorry Mr Hijikata… I’ll put you to Mr Okita right away…”

“Thank-you… Kagura? That’s your name right?”

“Yes Mr Hijikata, thank-you for remembering me.” A small smile crept on her face.

“Could I ask you something? You don’t have to answer.”

Kagura raised an eyebrow. “Of course. What is it?”

“Are you enjoying your time as Sougo’s secretary so far?”

Kagura furrowed her eyebrows and frowned. “Uh… Not really… He gives me so many tasks, sometimes I feel like he just wants to see me struggle, you know?”

“I see.” There was a long pause between the two.

“Why do you ask, Mr Hijikata?”

“I just wanted to check up on you. I know how rough Sougo can be.” Kagura’s heart immediately melted. Such a kind man! “If he gives any trouble, just let me know alright Kagura?”

“Y-yes Mr Hijikata!” the love-struck woman replied eagerly. “I should put you over to Mr Okita now. It was lovely talking to you though!”

“Tch, whatever. Take care Kagura.” Grumbled the male voice before his phone call was pending to direct to Sougo.

Kagura pressed the intercom button and called for her boss. “Mr Okita! Mr Hijikata would like to speak to you.”

“Huh? What does that loser want? All right put him through.” A monotone voice replied before hanging up.

Kagura sighed and slumped back down into her chair. What were these feelings for Hijikata? She didn’t understand, they barely even talked. Yet every time she spoke with him, butterflies flew in her stomach. Was this love?

And also, what was with her boss? Why was he so annoying? It kind of upset Kagura because she thought it was quite a waste to have godly looks but such a devilish personality. She knew without a doubt if Sougo was just a bit nicer, she’d definitely have more fun with her job. She wondered if it was possible to apply as Hijikata’s assistant.

She shook her head. No. She will not give up yet. After all it was just her first day! She swore to herself that she’d make everyone proud. Kagura turned to look at the list of phone numbers neatly stuck on the desk beside her phone. She began to scan through the names.

“Kondo Isao, Hijikata Toshiro, Okita Mistuba… Ah! Shimura Otae!” Kagura exclaimed excitedly as she quickly punched in the numbers of Otae’s phone number. Kagura held the phone to her ear waiting for the ringing to stop.

“Hello, you have reached the Shinsengumi Corporation front desk, Otae speaking.” A familiar voice greeted.

“Miss Otae! It’s me, Kagura!”

“Ah, Kagura! How are you? Is the job treating you well?”

“I’m alright I guess… I’m just incredibly tired from all the jobs I’ve completed today… I haven’t worked this hard in ages… But to my defence, I don’t even think I should be doing half of these jobs! I mean seriously? He’s making me take his clothes to the dry cleaners! And, and-“

Kagura’s was cut off by a giggle. “Oh, Kagura! I warned you didn’t I?” Kagura frowned and let out a sigh. “Don’t worry. He’s a nice guy once you get to know him.”

“Are you sure about that Miss Otae?”

“Yes, trust me Kagura.” Kagura relaxed a little. She was still a little apprehensive but the older woman slightly calmed her down. “Anyways, I have to head off to lunch now. Will I see you there?”

Kagura glanced at her clock and to her excitement. “Uh, of course Miss Otae! … but where is lunch exactly?”

“That’s great to hear Kagura! We usually have lunch in a nearby café. If you head out of the building it should be to the left. If you get lost, ask Mr Okita. He should know.”

Kagura frowned. “Do I have to ask him?”

“I’ll see you there Kagura!” Otae then giggle and ended the phone call.

Kagura slumped down into her chair and frowned. She really didn’t want to ask – no, talk to her boss at all. Kagura just couldn’t handle how much of a prick he was. It angered her, it really did. Even though she did hate him however, it would be polite to let him know that she was going out to lunch.

So, she picked up her handbag and walked to the door before knocking. “Mr Okita…”

A muffled voice was heard on the other side of the door. Her boss sounded really annoyed. Curiously, Kagura lent in and placed her ear against the door so she could make out what the he was saying.

“… Yeah… don’t have to flirt with her! She’s just… secretary!” Kagura’s eyes widened. Was he being defensive about her? Maybe he wasn’t such a bad guy after all! “… Secretary at the door… she wants…” silence then followed. Kagura frowned and tried to lean in closer to hear more.

Moments later to her horror, the door opened and with a scream, she came tumbling through knocking her boss and herself down to the ground. Kagura’s eyes widened, her face a deep red from embarrassment as she stared into his crimson eyes.

“Were you spying on me China?” he asked with a frown as he pushed the poor girl off to the side with a thud.

Kagura winced from the impact. “I-I must have pulled the door instead of pushing or something…” she mumbled, not daring to look at her boss. She really hoped he’d fall for her small lie. “I did knock and call your name though so you could have said something!”

She then heard a snort. “What – do you care about me or something?”

Kagura’s cheeks flared again. “N-no! It’s nothing like that! I-I just don’t want my boss dying today o-otherwise it’ll look like I killed you!” She pulled herself up and picked up her discarded handbag on the floor nearby, scanning the area for any belongings which could have fallen out. “I just wanted to let you know I’m heading out to lunch…”

“ ‘Kay.” He mumbled getting up also and brushing off the dirt on his clothes. “Remember to hurry and come back. There’s still so much more work you have to do.” Kagura shuddered and nodded as she walked away. “And remember my meeting at 2!”

“Yes Mr Okita!”

“Oh, and China?”

Kagura turned around to be met with a venomous glare. She took step back cautiously as her showing a frightened look. “Y-yes?”

Sougo smirked. “You looked horrified!” Kagura’s face contorted with anger as she growled loudly, ready to attack her asshole of a boss. He chuckled and turned around. “Next time could you not lie?”

Kagura raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“I know you were eavesdropping. Don’t lie to me ever again okay?” Sougo slumped into his big corporal chair and rested his feet on the table in front. “I’m fine with telling you most things just as long as you don’t go around being a blabbermouth alright?”

Kagura bowed sheepishly. “Sorry Mr Okita… I just got curious about what you were saying to Mr Hijikata…”

“Hijikata is just garbage in general. You shouldn’t hang out with that mayonnaise freak.” Kagura raised an eyebrow. “Speaking of garbage, you have lunch now China. Go out and eat your gross food.”

Kagura frowned and stormed out. “Whatever, bastard…” she mumbled under her breath as Sougo chuckled.

Read Chapter 4 here

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emimiketrash · 8 years ago

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That EmiMike x JJBek Highschool AU Headcanon that Nobody Asked For

Like really, nobody asked for two pairings in one headcanon. This was a random idea at 3 in the morning. Excuse this shitty sad piece of work.

This is basically Part 1 wherein I lay the groundwork. This is going to be long so go eat some food and a mug of hot chocolate while reading this. Please let me know if I should continue this. Thank you! Mickey and Otabek (The Bros)

Mickey and Otabek are best friends (mainly because Mickey knows that Beka is gay af and wouldn’t dare touch his sister, Sara). The first time they met, Otabek made it very clear that he wasn’t interested in women let alone Sara (she thought Otabek was rather cute). Like… M: (angry-threateningly) Let’s make this perfectly clear. Stay away from my sister or I will cut you in half in your sleep. O: Let’s make THIS perfectly clear. I’m not interested in your sister. S: *gasps* WHAAAAT??? M: (angry-surprised) …wha …what did you say? I call bullshit on that!!!! How can you say that so calmly?!?!?!? DON’T THINK THAT BY SAYING SUCH THINGS THAT I’LL LET YOU DATE SARA— O: I’m not interested in Sara because it’s how it is, Michele – I’m not interested in women. S: … M: …what? Sara understood what that meant immediately. Mickey took more time to get convinced.

Eventually, Mickey and Otabek bond over some little things like appreciation for good coffee, amazing literary pieces, and eventually, a love for good movies. They get to know each other better and become something like blood brothers.

People in school are afraid of Mickey (because people think he’s angry-crazy). He actually just cares too much. But he’s the best guy to go to for help with home economics stuff (but because he’s introverted as hell, he’s not used to helping people out). But he’s good with other subjects, too.

Mickey (and Sara) help out at their dad’s restaurant, which is the best one in the city, part-time. Mickey wants to take over the restaurant one day. Sara wants to do something else with her life (like being a theater actress with her “best friend”, Mila. At least, Mickey thinks they’re best friends. Otabek knows what’s up but won’t tell Mickey because he thinks Sara should do the honors.)

Otabek is a genius in music, art, and literature. He’s also quite good with history. Otabek wants to be a musician. He also DJs in his spare time. While he’s a god at dropping some fire-ass beats, he’s also experimenting with a more retro sound, like that of the 80’s.

Otabek goes to school on a foreign student scholarship, and lives with the Crispinos, and he also helps out at Mr. Crispino’s restaurant. Although Mr. Crispino, kind man that he is, is insistent that Otabek doesn’t need to work, Otabek says otherwise. At least he gets paid (and quite well) to help, and all that income is divided into 30% allowance and 70% sent back to his family at Kazakhstan (what an Ota-bae). Otabek’s allowance sometimes goes to saving up for new DJ-ing equipment.

Otabek keeps in touch with his other best friend, Yurio Plisetsky from ballet school back in Russia, through Skype (Yurio’s on tour at the moment). Every time they call, utter chaos happens in the house (ex. the police show up at the Crispinos because the neighbors heard loud screaming because of Mickey or Mr. Crispino yell at Yurio for the litany of offensive shit he says. #CrispinosHaveNoChill). Otabek still has no idea how to calm everybody down.

JJ and Emil (The Other Bros) Sidenote: I got the idea to make them best friends from this headcanon by @pasteurellapestis. Bless them for their amazing EmiMike/MichEmil headcanons

JJ and Emil, the star hockey players of the school, basically rule the school. JJ is the well-celebrated King Bee captain and Emil is everybody’s favorite lovable dork.

They’re best friends because they both love sports, they’re both so lively it’s infectious, and they’re both the hottest guys at school. They’re both huge dorks. They’re nerdier than the science club nerds at school. Only Emil knows about JJ’s love for science.

They met back in freshman year when they both signed up for the hockey team. He saw Emil reading a science magazine and asked if he read that new article that dissected the study on positronic distillation of sub-atomic particles and why the process was impossible.

JJ’s family is loaded as fuck because they’re a family of professional athletes.

Emil’s dad designs cellphones for a huge tech company, and that’s how Emil not only got interested in technology, but it’s also how he gets a new phone every year (for free). His mom’s a doctor and is actually the Crispinos’ family physician. Her caring nature rubbed off on Emil, which explains why Emil cares so much for his loved ones. The Nekola family isn’t rich nor poor but they’re a happy bunch.

But because JJ is… well, JJ, it’s harder for him to be as endearingly nerdy as Emil. JJ has the whole cool guy branding he needs to maintain. But JJ is a huge science dork. He raves over everything new in the science world with Emil. Emil hits back with some new tech stuff.

JJ loves music. He secretly has a thing for 80’s music, especially power rock. But he doesn’t mind a fire beat every now and then, especially if it doesn’t sound either super basic or the music isn’t something annoyingly mainstream. He writes his own music sometimes. He’s also quite interested in photography. JJ sometimes crosses over to another town for photowalks because he can’t be seen in his local town because these kinds of things aren’t cool. (JJ does spot Otabek during one photowalk and wonders to himself, “Do I know him from somewhere?”)

Because Emil’s free as a bird to be himself, he’s actually part of the robotics club at school. He sometimes makes things that end up blowing up. One time, the whole school had to be evacuated because Emil’s latest robot set off the fire alarms. (Mickey scolded him for that one.)

Emil also loves anime, movies, TV shows, etc. with inventors, robots, hi-tech shit, and fantasy. He also loves “Phineas and Ferb” and the entire “Voltron” series. (He always thought of himself as Phineas and Mickey as Ferb.)

Mickey and Emil (EmiMike/MichEmil), Part 1

Mickey and Emil were childhood friends and neighbors. Their houses are next to each other’s. In fact, Emil and Mickey can see each other from their windows. Even if they both grew up and apart (or at least, Mickey thinks they grew apart), Emil still always loved Mickey.

Whenever Mickey wakes up in the morning and looks out the window, he always sees Emil waving at him (sometimes shirtless) and mouthing, “Good morning, Mickeeeey!" Mickey reacts by either yelling at him to put a shirt on or ragingly shutting the drapes.

Sometimes, Emil offers Mickey (and Otabek because Emil is such a nice guy huhu) a ride to school, to which Mickey vehemently refuses, thinking that Emil (and other guys) is just after his sister ever since puberty hit her like a big, yellow school bus.

Emil usually invites Mickey to sit with him at lunch, but Mickey regularly refuses. Mickey did sit with them once but he hated the experience because he thought JJ was radiating douchiness everywhere. (JJ is just bad at making good impressions, poor baby.)

Emil is always one to invite Mickey to go places with him: the groceries, the beach, the park, the mall, the local drive-in, etc. He even invited Mickey to dinner (just the two of them). Mickey always says no. Sometimes, Emil feels defeated because Mickey says no and sometimes doesn’t understand why his childhood friend became so distant.

Emil tried dropping shit tons of hints that it was Mickey he was interested in and not Sara, but all those hints just did was make Mickey think Emil wanted Sara. Mickey always fails to pick up those hints. Sara is tired af of her brother’s obliviousness. It’s clear to Sara and even Otabek that Emil is gay af for Mickey.

Emil confided in JJ about his feelings for Mickey. JJ was like, “Uhm, duh.” It went down like this, non-verbatim: E: Wait you knew? J: The whole school knows, man! Well, except Crispino himself. I think his sister knows, too. E: *smirks* Hmm, do you think Beka knows? J: Wh-- wha-- Beka? Who’s that? E: *teasingly* Oh, you know? Beka, our dear friend from Kazakhstan? J: Beka? Like, B-Becca Mitchell? E: *laughs his ass off* Yeah, sure. Becca Mitchell. Emil thinks JJ has a thing for Beka. And he was right.

Otabek and JJ (JJBek), Part 1

JJ, being observant as hell, always seems to notice Otabek whenever he sees the Kazakh boy anywhere. The first time he saw Otabek was at a photowalk in a neighboring town. (Otabek also noticed JJ but didn’t want to say anything. Beka thought it might not be a good idea to draw attention to JJ without the latter asking for it.) The second time was when he saw Otabek arriving to school on his motorbike (which JJ dubs as “The Otabike”). No one else except the Crispinos notices Otabek.

JJ asks Phichit Chulanont, everybody’s go-to information database, to dig up some information about Beka, to which Phichit took longer to do it than usual because Otabek hardly uses his social media accounts. Phichit had to resort to traditional investigative means to deliver.

JJ learned as much about Otabek as Phichit could uncover: that Otabek was from Almaty, Kazakhstan; that he was on a foreign exchange scholarship; that he lived with the Crispinos and works part-time for their dad’s restaurant; and that his closest friend was Michele Crispino. Basically, it was hard to find something about Beka other than that.

JJ decides to take it from here and attempt to be friends with Mickey (so he can get to Beka), only for the Italian man (who assumed that JJ wants to date Sara) to glare at the Canadian darkly and utter (of course), “You stay away from my sister or say goodbye to your dick. You pick.” JJ basically sweats nervously and quietly retreats. Otabek, who was watching the whole time, raises and eyebrow and wonders what the hell that was all about.

Otabek secretly is interested in JJ because he could see there’s something different about JJ that separates him from the other hockey players. Well, everyone knows Emil’s a dork, but with JJ, it’s something Otabek couldn’t seem to lay a finger on.

One time after PE, Otabek saw JJ step out of the shower in his post-shower naked glory. Otabek was sent to the infirmary because of extreme loss of blood. Mickey had to stay till his dad could pick Otabek up.

Otabek once told Yurio about JJ through their Skype convos and even sent pictures. Yurio thought that JJ looked like a douchebag, but willingly supports Otabek if he thinks JJ will make him happy (even if Yurio visibly cringes at the thought. Otabek smirks and laughs it off.)

Bonus Headcanons (in case y’all be wondering where everybody else is):

Phichit Chulanont is the local walking information database with huge-ass brows full of secrets. He runs the school newspaper (and its social media accounts), with Sara Crispino as his associate editor and Minami Kenjirou as a news correspondent. Phichit is also the number one source for information trading at school, but requesting for his services comes with a hefty price. Phichit sometimes uses his information to play matchmaker.

Yuuri Katsuki and Phichit are still best friends (like in canon-verse) because why the hell not. Minami usually tries to hang with them when he gets the chance. The two forget he’s even there sometimes. (There was one time when Phichit and Yuuri drove off just as Minami was about to open the door. Yikes.)

Yuuri and Victor Nikiforov are the crowned Homecoming power couple of the school. Victor is the head dance captain of the school and also rules the school alongside Yuuri. Because, well, why not? There’s no conflict of social power between Victor and JJ; Victor just doesn’t give a shit about JJ (ouch). When Victuuri walks down the hallways together, they basically come with their own theme song. (refer here)

Sara Crispino and Mila Babicheva are totally dating. Mr. Crispino whole-heartedly supports his daughter’s relationship. Mickey took more time to be convinced (especially about the existence of lesbians like wtf Mickey seriously) but came around. Sara and Mila are also part of the school’s drama club.

Leo de la Iglesias and Guang-hong Ji are also part of the hockey team and are basically falling in love with each other. Although the two haven’t said anything, JJ totally ships them. He also sees Leo as his potential heir apparent.

Chris Giacometti is the guidance counselor at school who regularly promotes safe sex when someone comes in for counseling. He gives sex advice sometimes. His most notable counseling session that came with sex adviuce was with Leo and Guang-Hong (gee, I wonder why). When the old sex-ed teacher retired, Chris immediately applied for the position (and basically sweet-talked his way to get the job). He also brings his cat to school sometimes. Chris’ husband sometimes visits and brings him lunch.

Minako Okukawa, one of the dance club advisers, just loves watching Chris’ thicc booty bounce. During trainings, Yuuri sometimes has to catch Minako-sensei’s attention back to Earth just to refocus her attention on club practice.

Georgi Popovich is the adviser of the drama club (because why not). During an “investigation”, Phichit unearthed photos of Mr. Popovich’s career wherein he played Caribose during a run of Sleeping Beauty at West End, and he looked like he applies makeup like it’s a pie to the face. No one could look at Mr. Popovich the same way again.

Phichit has a particular crush on the fashion club’s vice-president, Seung-gil Lee. Seung-gil feels the same way but doesn’t know how to express his feelings.

Yakov Feltsman is the school principal. He particularly dislikes Victor sometimes for being unconventionally rebellious and annoyingly chill. Yosek Karpíšek is the vice-principal. Lilia Baranovskaya is the head of the arts department and is sometimes confused as to why the hell she hired Minako.

It’s actually much longer than I anticipated, but if you stayed till the end, thanks for reading this. Stay tuned for Part 2 (where somebody saves the school dance and enthralls one of our main characters loljk)!

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