#poop bazooka

[slutpoppers]

Metalgreymon vs Gerbemon

Giga Blaster vs Poop Bazooka 🫠

[the-firebird69]

This is a run and really you get out there and you're trying to get there fast it's changing the race because Vegas never works. It's not about gambling and he knows it but he's a wise ass but really he's trying to do stuff and it's hard for him I'm helping out that he's got the idea and we might call it gumball run but really it's different because it's a real run so it might go back to cannonball. But we want kit cars so it goes back to gumball or bubblegum run and we're thinking bubblegum all the cars look like bubbles you can make fun of us until they see us boogie so the question is where are we going to go from where to where and he says that you're going to have special bubble gum and it's not for chewing that's going to have a message and your people will make it and I'll give it to you and to bring to Vegas the first one there I guess the message there I kind of like that and of course there's a finish line but you go in and you deliver your message this is going to be awesome and I do understand now what he's saying who went to slobs yelling s*** on the radio sticking it online it's really not needed he says.

Mac daddy

So you want us to meet at bazooka Joe wharf for the start of gumball run and it will be formally their race but it's going to smell great and we're going to see it and it's going to be intense and there's watermelon and Cherry sugar free I'll tell you what I chew bubble gum and that is the best that it's sugar free cuz you get a little bit of poison for bugs and other stuff you know what I know I can handle this I'm going to do it. And I always say don't let anything get in your way and this is not going to get in my way I'm going to do this race I'm going to do it up right and I want people to join it and it's going to be for kit cars and yeah it's not time to fastest time is the fastest time we think that's a friend of ours does the race it's not me and Sammy Hagar and some of us get in trouble and that's an old Ferrari he thinks he's win because he won't get picked on I tell you what it seems like part of it the other guys might have similar ideas but that's a kit car okay now people are starting to get it and it looks like The wraith that might be a kid car too and they got stuck somewhere Charlie Sheen is really mad and it's actually BG and the other guy is one of these grandkids I got to tell you this is so much fun

John Cena

He says it's on he's like 7 ft tall and I said no it's not

..

You little wimp I'm going to answer the race says when are we going to drive a turbo diesel truck that's very funny it's only an extra 150 lb or less it's two people so that makes sense some of them go with two people because they have a co-pilot and they work around things it's really not as easy as it sounds and these days I'm going to write it up I'm going to write it up and I make sense

Big joe

I have a message I'm going to put it on the bubble gum if you eat this you're freaking nuts no, he says okay this could take forever but really we have a lot of jokes but we need to do this this is fun and I like the idea of the bubblegum run it's fun industry and people would think of the whole time

Preston

He loves the stuff he loves getting into it he used to be treated like royalty all the time and he go to the factories and nobody would ask me questions and say hi to people he doesn't know he was fantastic now people treat him like poop but he's going to get it back and someday he's going to visit the bubblegum factory in the future when he's older and he has money and he can get around he says he's going to buy a case of sugar free of every flavor they got in sugar-free each case will be a different one and the case is not that big and he says a box and that's pretty big it's going to store it in the refrigeration this is a good idea and it's dry so they like it and they say people can buy the sugar free that's the idea and the idea is this and they know what it means and they're pretty decent fault okay for gum chewers. And now it means that just sitting there chewing gum and really that's what you're doing and they know about it this is going to be great everybody's going to start doing this stuff and Laverne and Shirley come up and they're from that plant in New York City so please let's get this going this is so much fun

Thor Freya

Yeah okay everybody's going off on it if this is great this is Life okay this is going to be awesome he said we're going to go to Vegas I think that's right and with the message and we make our own rapper and you rewrap it I got to tell you this is going to be great it's a good idea

Mac daddy

Yeah it's really mad at me and I keep abusing him really a lot and everybody else he's not old it's not used to this it's still saying stuff that you learn from me this is a good idea I know how to do mine

Trump

I know how to do mine too wait a minute if I have the other half then why drive over there now I get it

Dan

I want to be in this race this is awesome and I have to build my car it's going to be like theirs the fastest so it has to look similar yeah it's a very fast design and he said less bubble be less of a wing and I get that

Bg

It's kind of cool and the way it's designed it would go very fast it would also fly pretty easy and we need that in the future but he says that higher speeds is really kind of a nuisance and it kind of is

John Cena

Now I get it the fastest the car is you can go fast when you have when you're free to and a lot of people know where and when and he's right it's the North Dallas forty and people going to be burning down there it's going to remind us about the bridge and all sorts of things we have to do and it's true we're going to see obstructions these guys need to know okay they need to know what it's like for their people it's it's a nightmare nobody can get anywhere with all this dumb s*** going on idiots saying dumb s*** everywhere dumping crap you're making it like 10 times harder than it than it was and it's already too hard for what's going on so we're going to get ready this is a terrific idea

Thor Freya

We thank you for putting the image in there now he didn't do it but it would have been nice to see that we use the product at work and he's thinking about it and we're going to have a tickler if it doesn't work we're going to help out and we have but yeah sugar free it's got a lot of attention this is terrific

Ladies from the office at tops which is now owned by a different company Apex and we're seeing it just so you know and Apex is not Trump and it is not Mac or been it is a Mac we think

Olympus

So I'm in the race okay and he says I wouldn't have it any other way that makes it that much better and reality and it's going to sell gum I'll tell you what though that was him the last part but you guys get it wrong and start talking your asses off usually you get almost everything wrong but this is a great product and he wants to come back and we're going to do that the stupid riddles don't do anything for anyone and he says if you have a different time but the two income that's the bubble gum has to have the comics and these guys demanded and demand it and yeah we'll see what happens I like the riddles and stuff

Apex CEO actually on the chairman of the board but okay

[pokemoninaction]

Garbagemon used Poop Bazooka!

~ Digimon 2020 Ep. 42

[analyzingadventure]

Alrighty, let’s finish this Psi episodes 61-67

Episode 61, A Place to Return to

Leomon! :D

Aww Takeru and Patamon are helping ElDoradimon climb- OH SHIT THEY’RE GONNA wait how did they not get squished as ElDoradimon started sliding???

OH MORE XROS WARS RIGHTS? GRAVIMON! :D <3

Awww he’s too cool to help ElDoradimon, that’s a shame

LMAO GREYMON HOW IS MEGAFLAME GONNA HELP

LEOMON TOO???

This is fucking ridiculous

ANGEMON TOO????????????

Awww now the other small fellas are gonna start helping too that’s cut- wait IS THAT ELECMON’S OG VOICE ACTOR?? IT IS I’M

I didn’t think I’d be so happy to hear Elecmon’s OG VA reprising his role but here I am

C’mon now Gravimon, be a buddy and lend your helping hand

MONZAEMON BIG

Gravimon don’t be too edgy now

God please don’t turn Gravimon into a villian for no reason at the last second

Press F to ElDoradimon

YEAH HE’S NOT TURNING INTO A VILLIAN FOR NO REASON FUCK YEAH

Episode 62, The Tears of Shakkoumon

OH YEAH THERE’S AN EPISODE WITH SHAKKOUMON???

NEEMON OH HOW I’VE MISSED YOU

Well of course there was something cursed sealed away under the tree stump, of course

Is it Shakkou- YES it’s Shakkoumon

OH JESUS

Oh right Shakkoumon is super stronk, fuck

Man, episodes with lore like this would’ve been so much more fun at the begining of the series vmv

Lmao Neemon chanting a sutra

Dude

Dude

This lore is great and interesting I’M JUST SAD WE’RE ONLY GETTING IT NOW AND IT WON’T MATTER DOWN THE LINE ‘CAUSE THERE’S ONLY 5 EPISODES LEFT

What the fuck why is this episode so fucking sad man

Don’t make Shakkoumon cry you monsters

Episode 63, The Crest of Courage

Speaking of lore that we’re getting way too fucking late man

KNIGHTMON! :D <3

Oh, dude just opens the door without asking questions, that’s so fucking polite dude, love it

Ah, Valkyrimon <3 Voiced by Miyako <3

Ah, Taichi dies once again

BOTAMOOOOOON BABYYYY

Botamon is so cuuuuute ahhhhhhhhh ;W;

Adventure Taichi: Has to teach his younger self to ride the bike to (re)gain Courage Psi Taichi: Almost dies 15 times when proving his Courage

BOTAMON IS SO CUTE I’m gonna cry I would kill a man for Botamon

LMAO THAT EVOLUTION TO AGUMON WAS SO FUNNY DJKFHDFJGH

LET’S GO FERAL GREYMON!!

THE SQUISH ;A; OH THAT WAS CUTE

Oh, Omegamon is the great power. I was excepting it to have been the Crests themselves but okay

Yes pat that Agumon

Episode 64, The Angels’ Determination

No opening monologue OOH SPOOPY

OH SHIT TSUKAIMON

OH SHIT IT’S DEVIMON

OH SHIT DEVIMON’S HERE TO WARN US?? FRENEMY DEVIMON?? I love it

Oh is Deathmon actually gonna be relevant to the story now

LMAO the poop bazooka was effective

OH YEAH THE DW1 GOLEMON, THAT’S ONE HELL OF A REFERENCE

OH YEAH IT’S DEATHMON MOTHERFUCKERS

A Big Boy too!

HELL YEAH LORD HOLYANGEMON GOT A FUCKING REFERENCE FUCK YEAH  V-TAMER RIGHTS (kinda applies to Deathmon too)

YEAH OPHANIMON GOT THE FINISHING SHOT

IT HATCHED

THERE IT IS, THE FUCKER I WAS LOSING MY MIND OVER EARLIER ON!! IT’S FINALLY BACK THAT FUCKER

Episode 65, The Great Catastrophe, Negamon

Sorry I don’t have much to say about this episode, I am just enjoying it for what it is and have nothing to say. Just chillin and having a good time

Oh great, Algomon’s dying too (actually good)

Wait god dammit he’s not dead, fuck

Well great now the Digimon are dead

KOMONDOMON?!

AWW that frame of Taichi getting squeezed by that tentacle was referencing when Taichi was getting squeezed by Shellmon in Adventure

Pick your poison: rewatching all the stock footage at Adventure’s finale for the 54th time in a row, or watching the non-footage in episode 65′s battle

Episode 66, The Last Miracle, the Last Power

Same as before, I’m just enjoying the finale for what it is

Negamon’s evolution is pretty creepy tho, nice

And I am enjoying the use of Extreme Fight here

I do like knowing how Negamon’s evolutions were very much inspired by FMA’s Pride, it makes for some very nostalgic visuals here (even if the nostalgia is kind of misplaced?? Lmao)

Oh the second half is getting weird, I love this atmosphere holy shit

DEVIMON?!

This episode is fun

I do think it’s lame Omegamon ends up being the solution here, again, but like. I guess it was unavoidable

Episode 67, The End of the Adventure

It’s the last episode boys

Negamon’s final form is... Anticlimactic but also kinda fun

Oh you’re Our War Gaming it lmao

Oh man Negamon’s final form really is just an ugly Omegamon lmao lame

But I’ll forgive it because this action is actually great and fun to watch

LMAO THAT OMEGAMON VARIANT

Endless Possibility...

I like that Psi acknowledges Negamon will probably be reborn again... (I’ll never stop being lowkey upsetti that none of Adventure’s sequels really acknowledge that)

RED LINES WE’RE OUR WAR GAMING IT FOR SURE

WE’RE ALL 0S AND 1S

This is cute

TO A NEW WORLD

FUCK THAT WAS CUTE THEY YELLED IT TOGETHER like when they yelled after defeating Apocalymon fuck that’s cute dude

And Leomon survived all the way until the end, it’s a Christmas miracle, the curse is truly finally broken, and Leomon can live

Leomon saying “no, perhaps”, just like he (Hirata) did at the end of Adventure...

That was cute

[expiredhusband]

U ever sneeze while pooping and ur asshole becomes a bazooka

[proprhettcies]

Season 5 Episodes 31-40 (385-394)

S5 Ep 31 (385)- WSS: Curling- arm curls with various objects

Bean Boozled

WoM: Link plays with Rhett’s hair

Rhett and musical devices-his own little world

S5 Ep 32 (386)- Bizarre & Banned Names

Juan Calzon- Juan Panties

Panties

Burger King

Rambo

Facebook

Twitter

Spinach

James Bond

Harry Potter

Robocop

Christmas Day

Rolling Stone

Rocky

Virgin

Cesarean

Circumcision

Yahoo

Pocahontas

Mistress

R- Any name with a fruit or vegetable is acceptable- ie. Apple

US Navy

Lady Di

Hermione

Traffic

Batman

Terminator

Email

Private

Martian

Hitler

Scrotum

Sponsorship

Illuminated

S5 Ep 33 (387)- Cat Poop Coffee taste test

Kapi Luwak-Civet Toddy Cat

Mouth Noises

R1- Gas Station

R2- Civet Coffee

R3- Instant Coffee

R4- Coffee Shop (Starbucks)

Link is the coffee king

Elephant poop coffee

Coffee Enema couple

S5 Ep 34 (388)- Time Travel

1940- TT Hipster

1928- Scene from Chaplin’s The Circus- Lady maybe on phone but actually a listening devices

Hakan Norkvist- says he met his 70 year self- Ad for retirement

Von Helton- Stealth fighter at age 7 and various photos of different time periods

Time Travel Movies- Back to the Future

Terminator

Link saw Back to the Future 3

S5 Ep 35 (389)- Hot or Not App

S5 Ep 36 (390)- Rhett leaving his Engineering job story

S5 Ep 37 (391)- Crazy Things Found by Airport Security

- 22 Invertbraw/ Aquarium life

-Daggers

-Walking Canes w/ Swords inside

-Stun Gun Cane

-Seal Head

-Human Skulls

-Several Crocodiles

-Speargun

-Mace

-2 Pygmy Monkeys

- 50 Orchids

- 4 Rare Birds

-Wheel of Pain (Multiswitch blade)

- 40 Caliber Gun

-Watch Bomb thing

- Old Bazooka Round

-Snakes

Rhett’s handgun joke to Airport Security

S5 Ep 38 (392)- Berry Taste Test w/ Strawburry17

R1- Blueberry

R2- Cherry Tomato

R3- Watermelon

R4- Pumpkin

R5- Grapes

R6- Avocado

R7- Banana

R8-Cranberry

L- “I taste everything by sight”

Link’s secret Pintrest account

S5 Ep 39 (393)- Youtube Space

Grace Helbig

L-” Dad’s side we kiss on the lips”

Link’s Aunt Tessee? And Nanna

Link’s mom kisses to greet Rhett

R-” In the future, there will be a universal greeting and it will be a fist bump.”

Roombas

Silver Lake

PlexiGlass Kiss

S5 Ep 40 (394)- Link’s Top 10 Movie posters

-ET

-Micheal Keaton in Batman

-Ghostbusters

-Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

- Pulp Fiction

- The Silence of the Lambs

-Jaws

- Back to the Future

- 1977 Star Wars

- Raiders of the Lost Ark

Link and documentaries

The Walburgs

Nic Cage

Rhett’s favorite movie poster- The Last Exorcism Part 2

[cultgambles]

Nature’s Alfredo Sauce

I saw @wtffanfiction ‘s post on weird words to describe genitals...

and my friend dared me to write something with 100 of the words haha. there’s 108 in here i think.

i dont even know.

Word Count: 1317

It was 10:30 at night, the angel lay in her bed without a care in the world. Well, she did have one care: the human that she called with such sweet words earlier that day had not shown up at the time they agreed upon. They were supposed to be boinking about now. A little bit of horizontal monster mash, one could say. 30 minutes past ten, she was quite bored. There was nothing interesting on TV to sate her being, and nothing worth listening to or reading. She couldn’t even muster up any dirty thoughts to swipe at her tainted jewel.

Ugh.

Until...a knock at her door.

Begrudgingly, she got up, using her wings to carry her the short distance to the door. Lazy. Peeking through the peephole, she saw her human standing there, a bouquet of yellow and red roses gripped tightly in his hands. She opened the door slowly, and he gave a sheepish smile.

“Sorry I’m late,” he said, “the dinner party ran super late.”

“It’s fine. As long as you do what you intended to do before.”

“I do!” he beamed, suddenly his pocket rocket becoming throbbing manliness tenting in the cotton prison of his pants. “I brought it just for you, my lance of love, for my love!”

“Ohhhh!” She crooned, her velvet underground becoming moist as he advanced toward her. Her pleasure pearl throbbed with need, as their mouths were on each other in an instant, tongues battling for dominance. He kicked the door behind him, scooping his angel into his arms and carrying her towards the bedroom. Her legs gripped his hips, and she could feel his coke bottle cock poking her hershey highway. He THREW her on the bed, shoving his shirt off, marveling at the way her eyes drank up his well defined chest. She crawled towards him on all fours, pressing her slender fingers around his MIGHTY MAN NOODLE, feeling its rigidness stiffen even more, massaging the orbs. “Do you like when I touch your organ? Your fuck stem, organic crotch gun, diego the explorer--”

“I know you’re trying to hit 100 words but that’s a little overkill,” the man frowned. “You can just say sperminator and go.”

“It’s hard, just like your engorged staff. It’s gotten so big and thicc I don’t know if it will fit in my haynannernanners at all…” She opened her mouth, licking the veins along the underside of his doggy lipstick. 

“Oh that feels so good on my pulsing manmeat. This bulging soldier boy is gonna wreck your triangular area so gud beby.”

“I can’t wait,” she moaned, the DNA rifle still in her mouth, sending pleasures of vibration to the man’s brain. She swirled the tip of the holy wand, and the man groaned, digging his fingers in her long long hair. After a few more languid licks and sucks, his horrible wet mushroom was SQUIZRTING SOME BABY BATTER RIGHT INTO HER MOUTH.

“Urg,” he moaned. 

“Aaaa,” she moaned back, milking the last few drops from his peenie weenie. His fuckfluid was very salty, like he had a bad diet. As soon as she popped off of him, iT (God’s pinky finger) WAS ROCK HARD AGAIN. She couldnt wait to get that cherry assassin deep in her damp canal of lust. 

“Lay back,” the man said gruffly, kneeling to his knees. His tongue found purchase on her love nubbin, his fish pole fingers making their way to her weeping folds.

“Ur so wet for me beby...just for me and my giant sausage,” he groaned into her love pocket. 

“Yes! Only for u, my man with the love tool! I never met anyone with a better male organism than u.”

“Really? You mean that? No one’s got a better you-know-what than me?”

“I mean it b. Hurry up now, my letter o be gettin dry over here,” the angel rolled her eyes. 

“Oh yeah,” he said, returning to the attack on her valve. Suddenly, he detached from her clam cavern, his man-carrot spewing thick, hot princely milk all over the bed. “Your slit of ecstasy tastes so good.”

Damn, she thought to herself, I wasn’t even close. If his mauve avenger didn’t do the job, she would play with her kitty later after he fell asleep.

He snaked up to her, pressing hot fingers to her love pillows, pinching the rosebuds. “Was that good?”

“Yes,” she lied.

“Now it’s time for my pink stiff flobberworm. In your jewelry box.” (His crimson bird was hard for like the 3rd time). 

“Yeah, I think my vagoo would love that.”

The man sat up, pulling the angel above his lap, over the one-eyed snake so her mayonnaise drain was directly in place to slide in easily. She sank down on the mayonnaise cannon, filling her up deliciously. 

“Oh, babe, your communism stick is in my chamber of secrets so deep and good.” The angel readjusted herself, bracing her hands against his shoulders as she started to move her hips up and down his beef bazooka. His burrito, in fact, was so big she couldn’t even fit all of him in her moist core. COo.

She gave a sudden moan as the hungry dragon hit that sweet sweet geronimo spot deep inside her. 

“Oh, ur tube flute game is so much better than your mouth frickle frackle. Yesssss daddy just like that,” she whined at the end. “SO good in my pleasure casino.”

“Baby, u feel so good on my kryptonian meat.” he gripped her anal fortress with such vigor, it was sure to leave small crecrents. He took a mythical berry in his mouth, teeth grazing the sensitive spot of her fun bags as his hips rose up to meet hers. He POUNDED into her at inhuman speeds, the angel groaning with every pump of his muatra. 

He liked watching his dark spire go in and out from her forbidden fruit, the way his crown jewels slapped her poop cavern harshly every time.

“Do you like your formerly caged viper meeting my downstairs mouth?!” she purred.

“Yeah looks great. Feels great. Must be mine.” (why did i think of p!atd emperor's new clothes??)

Soon, but not soon enough, the angel felt a tight knot in her belly. 

The tell tale signs of an orgasm (surprised they didn't have another word for it). It hit her like a tonne of bricks as she threw her head back in ecstasy, her chest balls bouncing from the force. Each in a different direction, just like anime girl tiddies. She was wrecked.

The man felt her penis trap tighten as her walls squeezed his hairy wolf dingaling. A few more thrusts of his hips had his hardened arousal squirt his liquid love deep in her man muncher, quickly turning it into a cave with honey.

They both moaned wantonly, so loudly that the neighbors were probably also getting off from their wonderful time of bumbin uglies.

He pulled out of her cum dumpster, his love muscle flopping against his belly, still leaking spaff a bit. 

The angel flopped over next to him, feeling warm pale liquid seep out of her egg chamber onto the bed.

“Your midnight meat train never ceases to amaze me. Like why is it so big and so good?”

“Good genes I guess,” he laughed, “but your woman-tomato is givin me a run for my money.”

“That was fun, you can come use your mighty sword of eros in my cock garage again.”

“Can I use my sugar quill in your fart factory next time?” He asked, batting his eyelashes. 

“Sure, why not. Only if I get to peg your man pussy too. So it’s even.”

She laughed, pressing rumblr spheres (and subsequently naked body) on his person, hugging him close. Of course, his thingy became restless manmeat ready for action in 5 seconds flat.

“Another round of belly magic?”

[fallen4yourheart]

Eating jalapenos sounds like a great idea until a few hours later when you're too scared to fart without going to the bathroom in case there's follow through.

[weird-bio-facts]

Natures fuckn weird

There are so many organisms in nature that just sound like a shitpost. upside down fortress shrimp that eats by waving its fuckn legs (barnacle), camel moose with giant neck and bubble horns (giraffes), giant armor fish with needle teeth whose scales are RAZOR SHARP (alligator gar), pretty instant death harpoon tongued snail (geographic cone snail), stomachless knight snail (scaly foot gastropod), fuckn bazooka armed shrimp (pistol shrimp), fuckn stun snake (electric eel), glowing toxic leg worm (sierra bioluminescent millipede), t-rex deer with death kick (kangaroo), a tadpole that turns into a soapy rock with guts (pyura chiliensis), an animal that eats light and poops rock (corals), a kelp that grows two feet per day (gian kelp), and a super slug that changes colors, textures, and can squeeze through anywhere (octopus) and just like, what the fuck.

[butiaintgonnaloveem]

Tiff’s WTF*ck Challenge

Hey friends!

I’ve been feeling pretty disconnected - less reading, less reblogging, less interaction - since my job change and having less time to spend around here, so why not fix that with a writing challenge?! Yes? Yay!

One of my old favorite sources of internet humor is Sleep Talkin’ Man. And your assumption is correct, he talks in his sleep. His wife started recording him and posting the clips online and it’s hilarious.

SO - for this challenge, I’ve collected some of the absurd, inappropriate, foul, and funny quotes from that delightful fella and now challenge you to incorporate it into your SPN fanfic.

Rules:

Send your quote request as an ASK ONLY please so that I can keep track.

You can write for any SPN character, my preference is Sam and Dean, but you do what feels right.

Any genre/pairing/trope is welcome, just make sure you tag it appropriately!

One writer per prompt.

Fics will be due by July 1. I’ll post the masterlist just before I go to ChiCon.

Use the tag Tiff’s WTF Challenge to help me track your fic

Yes, you can combine it with another challenge, yes, you can have an extension if you ask for one, yes, it can be part of a series.

No, there is no word limit or max. However, you must use the “read more” feature if longer than 500 words.

Ready? Okay. 

“This is my story. It starts with me. And it ends with me. And everything in the middle is about me. Greatest fucking story ever written.” @acreativelydifferentlove

“You really are life’s wet patch. An embarrassing little stain that no one wants to admit to...or sleep on.”

“I shit gold, piss silver, and puke bronze. I don’t need a medal to tell me how fucking awesome I am. Got that, bitches?” @ellawinchester1993

“I’d rather peel off my skin and bathe my weeping raw flesh in a bath of vinegar than spend any time with you. But that’s just my opinion. Don’t take it personally.” @torn-and-frayed

“You’re gonna have to shave your pubes. It’s like fighting an army of permed spider legs down there, and I’m gonna lose. I’m gonna lose.” @deansbabygirl01

“Fuck! If I don’t get to the motherfucking flower show, I’m gonna fucking kill someone!” @frejahertziswritingthistime

“Why don’t you call back later, and we’ll see whether we can get the world to revolve around you.” @whispersandwhiskerburn

“I’m gonna have a great day...Don’t you fuck it up.” @roxy-davenport

“This little tampon went out, this little tampon stayed home. This little tampon had an applicator, this little tampon had none. This little tampon’s covered in...poop. WRONG HOLE, PEOPLE! Wrong hole.”

“Oh! It’s a poltergoat. A poltergoat! You can’t see em, but you find all your clothes chewed. If you listen carefully, you may hear a ghostly baaaahhhhh. Poltergoat! Baaaahhhhh.”

“Ghosts going bump in the night. Clumsy fuckers.” @quiddy-writes

“I’m like a vulnerable fawn in the woods. One that happens to carry an uzi, ninja throwing stars, and a motherfucking bazooka.” @winchesterprincessbride

“Now I’m going to ask really nicely for you to un-fuck this situation.” @mandilion76

“There was so much blood! Oh, there must have been at least five llamas. Totally unprovoked attack by those puffins. I managed to clip their wings. This is llama turf.”

“Well that’s just great. Peanut butter in my crack. Goddamn it.” @saxxxology 

“I’ve written your epitaph. Yup. I did it early. You wanna read it? ‘Here you are, lying dead. Ha ha ha ha ha.’” @sixtysevenandwhiskey

“It’s growling. Shhh, it’s growling closer...It’s an angry thing, a big angry thing. It likes cabbage, though.” @helloimsensitive

“Hey! You killed my velociraptor, dickhead. That’s so unfair. You do realize how hard it is to find one of those ‘round here, don’t you?”

“Sure you can have my phone number. It’s like having a direct line to God. But better. Because I answer.” @internationalmusicteacher

“How do blind people know they’re done wiping? How?” @mrsbatesmotel53

“I’m sorry, I can’t come to the phone right now. But if you’re not my mother, you can leave a message. Beeeep.” *Bonus points for not using Crowley* @soullessdemontrap

“If she sends me one more fucking smiley face emoticon, I’m gonna shove that keyboard so far up her ass, she’s gonna have to tweak her nipples to force quit.” @kayteonline

“I need someone else to help me catch ghosts. Cause we’re going out to kick seven shades of spiritual shit. Yeaaaah. Ghose kickers! Free floating vapor? Free floating fucker, more like. Come on, let’s get em!” @ravengirl94

“I wanted a shark with laser beams, and I got a manatee with a Maglite. For fuck’s sake, get back in your hole and get it right.”

“If honesty’s the best policy, and the truth hurts, then you’d better call an ambulance, cause you’re not gonna like the stuff I’m gonna fucking say.” @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog

“Goddammit! Where’s my bazooka? I put it on the ground, expecting it to be there when I come back. Have you been tidying up again, cause I really would like my bazooka back. I don’t know where you put things. Jesus! Cannot just leave anything alone, can you?” @atc74

“It’s Captain Fluffer! Hero to teenage boys.”

“You’re right, elephants in thongs are not something you see every day. Enjoy it.”

“Back off Robin. Batman is my bitch now. You’re just a bitch’s bitch, bitch.” @seenashwrite

“OK, so that’s your weekend homework. Go home and slap grandma.”

“Your singing can wake the dead. So shut the fuck up. I don’t want any zombies dropping their jazz hands all over the fucking place. Alright? Just shut it.” @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms

“Just put the fucking cow’s head on the pavement and walk away. Leave it alone, stop playing with it. It’s just a head. Ooooh, it’s got it’s eyeballs in still.”

“Happy Birthday! It’s a dead puppy!...Now listen, you: You didn’t specify a live puppy, you just said you wanted a fucking puppy! Jesus you’re spoiled. Now go take it for a drag.”

“I’m losing faith in humanity, one faked orgasm at a time.” @lipstickandwhiskey

“I’m sorry, but not knowing what a horcrux is is a deal-breaker to me. Deal with it, muggle-fucker.” *Bonus points for not using Charlie* @notnaturalanahi

“Vampire penguins? Zombie guinea pigs? We’re done for...done for.”

“It’s amazing how you can smell so bad, but still be alive.”

“Harder is NOT a good safe word.” @lifelovelaughangell123

“Buffalo wings? Are you insane? Those cows can’t fly. It’s a lie, I tell you. A fucking lie.”

“Scales. Must have scales. And razor claws. I want some feathers. And a goggly thing on its head. Yeahhh. Dinochicken. Awesome! I feel like a god. All right, what’s next? Guineapigasaurus. Bring it on!”

“Garlic cheese! Double death to you, you lactose intolerant vamp man!”

“God, you whine like whale song. But a lot less eerie and beautiful and more, well, fucking annoying.” @silencethroughwords

“Dance for me, go on. Oh, you were! I thought you were having a spaz attack...Doofus.”

“Leave my gnomes alone. They’re MY gnomes, living in MY house, doing MY gardening, and they’re happy. Look at their fucking smiley faces. Can’t you see how frickin’ happy they are? Who are you to judge me?! Go on, gnome, cut the grass. Good gnome. Good gnome.” @the-winchester-gospels-and-cas

“You can’t drop them. You can’t set them on fire. You can’t feed them to crocodiles. You can’t let them play with fireworks. I mean...kids: what the fuck?!” @ellen-reincarnated1967

“You know, with you you you, it’s all me me me. Well fuck fuck fuck fuck you you you.” @rizlow1

TAGS: For participation and signal boostage!

@mogaruke @feelmyroarrrr @kayteonline @seenashwrite @notnaturalanahi  @mrswhozeewhatsis @deathtonormalcy56 @kittenofdoomage @jpadjackles @supernatural-jackles @luci-in-leather @babypieandwhiskey @idreamofhazel @impala-dreamer @sis-tafics @littlegreenplasticsoldier @ultimatecin73 @mrsjohnsmith @mandilion76 @boxywrites @sherrybaby14 @sylverminx @there-must-be-a-lock @deandoesthingstome @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog @ceeceewinchester @kathaswings @dr-dean @roxy-davenport @avasmommy224 @moonlitskinwalker @docharleythegeekqueen @is-this-you-manning-up-sammy @quick-act-supernatural @frick-you-im-a-princes @charliebradbury1104  @blacktithe7updates @klaineaholic  @ilsawasanacrobat  @ayeeitsemry @hexparker @quiddy-writes @ravengirl94 @donnaintx @rubynationwins @someday-once @winchesterprincessbride @manawhaat @anotherwinchesterfangirl @acreativelydifferentlove @luci-in-trenchcoats @whispersandwhiskerburn @lipstickandwhiskey

[fire-leaf]

Poop bazooka

Silver-spotted skipper caterpillar (Epargyreus clarus)

Watch closely around 5 seconds in and you can see it perform a breathtaking behavior called “ballistic defecation”- the caterpillar uses a comb-shaped trigger in its anus to shoot a fecal pellet like a bullet, which can go flying several feet away.

Skipper caterpillars most likely do this to avoid predators that track them down by the scent of their frass.

[recentnews18-blog]

New Post has been published on https://shovelnews.com/just-a-ranking-of-every-stupid-role-ruby-rose-has-ever-played/

Just A Ranking Of Every Stupid Role Ruby Rose Has Ever Played

Before she was Batwoman, she was a sexy she-wolf named Byanka.

Australia’s own Ruby Rose has just been announced to star as Batwoman in DC’s TV universe. If you’re not familiar with her work, should you be excited?

Ruby Rose has been carving out a curious niche in the acting world for a few years now, with her role in Orange is the New Black’s third season launching her to overseas success. She will play Kate Kane in a big DC TV crossover later this year, and potentially go on to star as the Jewish lesbian crime fighter in her own Batwoman show.

Given that Ruby Rose has been steadily gaining bigger and bigger roles in blockbusters – including giant-shark film The Meg, which is just around the corner — playing Batwoman could really cement her stardom. Although if you go by The Meg’s IMDb page, she already is a star: according to IMDb’s STARMeter, Rose gets top billing over Jason Statham.

As a star, Rose is defined by a weird, inexplicable aura that permeates all her roles. She’s defined by Ruby Rose Energy.

Now, you’re probably familiar with the concept of Big Dick Energy, but you may not have heard of Ruby Rose Energy. Ruby Rose Energy is Big Dick Energy’s non-binary cousin. Ruby Rose Energy is effortlessly cool, but also quietly daggy.

It’s becoming a movie and TV star while always being slightly unable to escape your past as an MTV Australia VJ, or someone who got into a brief Twitter feud with Josh Thomas over unpaid Veuve at a Melbourne club. It’s having real life charisma disproportionate to what necessarily translates on screen — just like the good old days!

Ruby Rose Energy is being the first person to quit The 7pm Project. It’s not being recognisable to virtually anyone over 40, and dating a Veronica in the year 2018. As one commenter said on yesterday’s casting news, “she’s like, everything”.

Make no mistake – this is a loving tribute to Ruby Rose and the utterly specific, weird space she has carved out in Australian pop culture since the early 2000s. There’s a lot you can learn about Ruby Rose Energy from the names of characters she plays, so here’s a ranking of all the character names she is credited with playing on IMDb – ranked by least-to-most Ruby Rose Energy.

Queer women: Please cast out queer actors in queer roles!!! CW: *casts Ruby Rose* Queer women: This is an attack

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) August 7, 2018

Presumably as a result of some mix-up on the first day on set that no one was brave enough to correct, the name of Ruby Rose’s character in this cliché-ridden Australian spin on Dangerous Minds is Hannah, while Christina Ricci’s is, no joke, Dino Chalmers.

It is with great regret that I must place Hannah at the bottom of this list, and that I cannot officially say that Dino motherfuckin’ Chalmers is a perfect exemplar of Ruby Rose Energy.

Though her performance was terrific as a woman who more or less does nothing until she gets hilariously sucked into a giant fan, the character’s name — Abigail — has very low Ruby Rose Energy and, as such, sits near the bottom of the list.

Abigail is the name of a pretty girl you pretend to like in primary school so people don’t think you’re gay, not the name of a character played by devastatingly handsome genderfluid star Ruby Rose.

Though I will never watch this weird Crocodile Dundee tourism ad, I do appreciate the rich complexity of giving a Ruby Rose character a title and a position of authority. That said, in its most Ruby Rose form, ‘Chief’ would be the character’s given name, and as such it falls on the lower end of the scale.

Ruby Rose plays a mute assassin in the John Wick franchise, and her character is named for the Greek god of war – which means we’re getting to the good shit.

But beyond the strong concept, it feels a bit pianissimo in execution; may I suggest it lengthens in John Wick: Chapter 3 to ‘Ares McIliad’ or perhaps ‘Ares Bazooka’?

Ruby Rose Energy is about throwing subtlety to the wind.

I know what you’re thinking: what name could possibly be more Ruby Rose than ‘Ruby Rose’?

Well, since her full birth name is Ruby Rose Langenheim, ‘Ruby Rose’ is technically only 44% of that, meaning it’s slightly below average Ruby Rose Energy.

My interest in Pitch Perfect 3: Aca-merican Imperialism is precisely zero, but Calamity is exactly the kind of Ruby Rose character name I come to IMDb to see.

Less impressive is the movie thinking that Ruby Rose-as-Calamity would be the front-woman of a generic guitar band called Evermoist instead of the lead singer of a desperately edgy Christian lady-rock group called SHEviticus, or GALatians, or The GeneSisters, and so on.

Calamity has the toughness of Ruby Rose Energy, but lacks that certain je ne sais quoi.

Where were you when all of America discovered Stella Carlin, and thus Ruby Rose, at once?

Was it the same place you were when Ruby tweeted about Katy Perry’s Witness, calling it “purposeful poop��� and “bomb a petit”? Or when she threw a “singular fry” at a restaurant owner?

No name on this list better exemplifies the Ruby Rose Energy tendency to get into beefs with low-grade celebs that no one but tabloids would ever care about. Stella Carlin is what happens when Ruby Rose Energy gets captured in essence but lost in translation.

It’s trying just a little bit too hard.

The beauty of the current Golden Age of Ruby Rose Character Names is how often the names just sound like full sentences in and of themselves.

Adele Wolff.

I already feel like I’ve known this character my whole life. Like I’ve already followed her journey from digital marketing graduate to Instafamous, gluten intolerant Byron Bay-based wellness blogger, which I am convinced is where Ruby Rose would be at without her tattoos.

Jaxx Herd is, frankly, incredible.

The Meg pic.twitter.com/QnTjRWjxx8

— Ruby Rose (@RubyRose) July 31, 2018

What’s even more incredible is that this Ruby Rose character looks more like the human reboot of Charlize Theron’s haircut in Aeon Flux than any of the others (and they all do, a little) and honestly, I’m here for it.

Wikipedia says Bianca, but IMDb says Byanka, which is so Ruby Rose I can’t stand it.

And truly, is the root of the human condition not the internal war we wage over whether we are a Bianca or a Byanka?

Anyway, this movie looks bananas, Ruby Rose’s character is an overly sexualised she-wolf, and the script was co-written by someone who goes by the name ‘1kg Sugar’.

If the idea of Ruby Rose playing a character named Wendy the Android (lol) on a Canadian sci-fi show makes you think, “Huh, I wonder if they made her a horny killer fuckbot?”

The answer, unequivocally, is yes.

That they named her Wendy like she’s one of the nice mums working at a primary school tuckshop is just *Italian chef kiss* molto bene. It’s the perfect combination of ‘maybe this is the next step in human evolution’ and ‘Lorna Jane loyalty card owner’.

TheDailyMail.com Seriously Popular™ People’s Choice Award-loser Ruby Rose as… Woman.

That’s it, kids.

That’s Ruby Rose Energy.

—

Laurence Barber is a freelance writer, editor and award-winning film and television critic based in Sydney. He is on Twitter @bortlb.

Source: http://junkee.com/ruby-rose-characters/170757

[vladimirsa]

Barboskins 2 RYTP / ENTRY

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[curiosity-killed]

some Important Quotes from today’s violent incident response training lecture

“They’re their own little street gang” – the raccoons on campus

“Let’s just stop the booger eating. It’s an epidemic.” 

“If you hear a voice coming from the sky and other people are looking up, it’s really good information.”

“So now we use a free program because we don’t have any money.”

“The long-boarders are my new problem.”

“If you see a bazooka, some sort of missile launching system…we need to know.”

“You’re all babies, for the most part.”

“You are not replaceable. Don’t be afraid to break stuff.”

“Here’s your ugly firstborn baby.”

“They’re going to puke anyway. I’m not going to speed up that process.”

“If you poop on the gun, someone’s gonna have to get that out.”

“Welcome to Ames, Iowa. Drunk people pass out anywhere.”

“I don’t need excellent human beings on campus, I just need good people.”

“It’s an unfortunate time in our society. We don’t do a good enough job taking care of each other.”

“Never give up your rights or your voice. Your voice is all we have left.”

[2manyteeth]

I spy with my little eye:

The old beloved membrane lamp

Dib's crazy can

The tricycle from Bab Bad Rubber Piggy

What might be the X-ray goggles from Dark Harvest

Dib's laptop with the giant wall plug thingy

The voting meter from the class president episode

The anti-lice goo bazooka

Robot Dib's head

Adhesive Medical Strips

The human-sized squirrel costume

A piggy

Battle Dib's helmet

An empty box of poop candy bars

And the special alien handcuffs from The Nightmare Begins.

surprised i havent seen any posts about this yet- the scene in the garage has so many references to previous episodes. i don’t recognize all of them since i havent watched most of the episodes in a very long time, but from what i can see:

pustulio’s suit

the wall-climbing device dib used to scale the deelishus weenie building in tak the hideous new girl

zim’s head pigeon from dark harvest

chickenfoot’s suit

the controller to the nanobot dib used in nanozim

the device used to open up dib’s head in the halloween episode

dib’s food blaster from the unaired pilot

there’s definitely ones ive missed/failed to identify so please feel free to add on!

[marlaluster]

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE DEVIL GOING CRAZY ATTACKING PRESSING SOMETHING OF SOME WHITE PEOPLES BUTT N POOP ON IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its making my butt feel damp after i used the bathroom a bit ago etc. THE THING IS GOING TOTALLY TOTALLY TOTALLY BAZOOKA AS FUCK TTACKING PRESSING EXTREMELY EXTREMELY BAD IRRITATION!!!!!!!! Its pressing something about me supposing to be moving up n down on the sofa n its supposed to be waiting for that im supposed to be doing that, IT ALWAYS OBSESSES THAT IM SUPPOSED TO BE MOVING UP N DOWN ON THE SOFA AS IM LIKE MIMICKING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A break here. BUT THE THING SEETHING WITH TOTAL SICK AS TOTAL FUCK N GOING EXTREME PRESSING EXTREMELY BAD IRRITATION!!!!!!!!!!!!! But the devil going BAZOOKA INSANE AS FUCK (AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! SO INSANE!!!!!!!) after i was watching this video on YouTube n the people looked so disgusting n crazy like they were who theyre supposed to be hidden as in relation to the animals. Link to video .... https://youtu.be/hvYlHx0YPjQ