#poolit

[onceuponapuffin]

Fanatic Intervention Part 8!!

I see your votes everyone, and I hear your voices. But before I can, in good conscience, place us in Heathrow, I need to share this with you.

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******************

In the end, convincing Aziraphale (who, surprise surprise, had never flown on a plane) that First Class was the way to go wasn’t all that hard.

“Otherwise you fly all cramped with hundreds of other people!” You say. Crowley nods.

“Mmmmm yes,” the demon agrees, “Imagine being elbow-to-elbow with all those humans. Feet in your face, children kicking the back of your seat, sharing an armrest!”

“I rather like humans though,” says Azirphale, even though he looks a little pale at the mention of armrests, “And I would be next to you anyway.”

“What about the humans who haven’t showered for days?” You ask, “How long has it been since the last time you were near one person, nevermind a hundred-ish, who didn’t follow basic hygiene practices? A few hundred years?”

Aziraphale’s face falls. Crowley chimes in.

“Oh yes, just imagine all the sweat and grease from the airport food.”

“And then there are the babies that travel. I mean, their ears pop when the plane takes off and when it lands, and they only really have one coping strategy.”

“Aaah,” Crowley says, “The crying babes! Think of all the crying babies and no escape! Not for hours and hours and hours.”

“And then,” You say, “There’s the in-flight meal.” Here, you seem to have struck a cord. Duh, you should have led with this. Aziraphale raises an eyebrow.

“Oh? They serve food?”

“Psh,” You say, “If you can call it that. They ask you if you want chicken or vegetarian, and then they plop a cardboard box with a film top in front of you.”

“It’s dreadful,” agrees Crowley, “All bland and clearly frozen and warmed up in a microwave.”

“And if you’re lucky, you can tell that it’s meant to be a sandwich,” You add.

“Supposing you can tell that it’s food at all!” Crowley says with a nod, “And their wine list is small potatoes.”

“Small bland potatoes,” You say, “If you can call them potatoes at all – served in the tiniest bottles and the tiniest glasses you ever did see.”

You noticed Aziraphale’s eye twitch ever so slightly.

“And in First Class they...they serve actual food and wine, do they?”

“Oh yeah,” You say, “with proper service and cloth napkins and everything. Most of the airline websites say that the food’s prepared by an actual chef.”

“And the glasses are normal sizes, and made of actual glass,” adds Crowley for good measure. Aziraphale hums.

“Yes, fine. Clearly First Class is the only acceptable way to travel.” He leaves the room. You hear the kettle turn on. He probably needs some tea to calm his nerves after hearing all that. You turn to Crowley.

“So you’ve gone on a plane before, huh? Did you invent the food? I would not be surprised if you did.”

“Me?” Crowley says, “Naaaah. Never flown on a plane. Never needed to. But I know a bit of fun when I see it.”

You look up at him and sigh, cradling your chin in your hands for effect.

“It really is no wonder why Aziraphale loves you so much.”

“Ngk,” Crowley says, his ears turning pink.

-----

And now, dear Reader, we arrive at Heathrow. Anathema and Newt had met you at the bookshop, and the four of you drove over together in the Bentley after bidding Newt and Muriel goodbye. You spend the entire wait in line at airport security feeling nervous. Airport security is always a test for your nerves to begin with, but this time you have no passport or paperwork of any kind to twiddle in your hands to take the edge off. Instead, you fidget relentlessly with the button in your pocket (Muriel, being an observant and kind soul, had given you a large-ish green button to put in your pocket “Because you seem nervous, and it looked like it helped you last time.” You swear if anyone harms your new best friend while you’re gone you will end them). The line goes quicker than you would like, and when it gets to be your turn, honestly you’re not sure what happens. It all goes smoothly. Did Aziraphale and Crowley miracle you a passport? Did they click a finger or wave a hand to convince the guard that everything was in order? You have no idea, because you’re too focused on your nerves and Trying Not To Look Suspicious While Worrying That This Makes You Look More Suspicious Than You Would If You Could Just Be Normal About This (if you know the feeling, you know why it gets to be capitalized like that).

Once the stress of airport security is done, you head to the bathroom for a break from the chaos so that you can figure out how to breathe again. Normally, you wouldn’t be That Person to occupy the Accessible Washroom, but since you are desperately trying not to have a panic attack because of all the pent-up anxiety from the whole airport security thing, you decide that you Really Cannot Do People Right Now, and that the single-occupant washroom may be your saving grace. You lock the door and sigh, leaning against the cold metal. It’s comparatively quiet here, and you’re grateful for it. Thank Someone. You resolve to try not to be too long in case someone who actually needs this washroom comes by (although I’m gonna be honest here, reader, right now you need this room for invisible accessibility/health reasons). After a minute or two, you are finally starting to feel your anxiety return to a manageable level. Everything is okay. You are traveling with the most ideal companions you could ever dream of, and the worst part is over. Everything from here on out is smooth sailing.

Except, dear reader, you all voted. And So It Shall Be.

You’ve just finished drying your hands.

“Aah,” says a voice behind you. You jump a solid 3 feet in the air. “I thought I might find you here.”

“HOLY! FUCKING! ZOMBIE! JESUS!!!” You sputter.

“Mind your manners, human.”

“Manners?? ME?? This is a WASHROOM.”

The Metatron looks at you blankly and shrugs. Ah yes, the biggest jerk in Heaven doesn’t know or care about washrooms or privacy. Or actually being polite.

“I merely wanted to have a word with you. Away from the others, of course.”

“Yeeeaaaaah,” You say. You’ve seen a million movies (approximate), and read a million books (also approximate), you know what this is. This is the maybe we can still solve this problem quietly plot. And you know that actually having the conversation is a bad idea. “I don’t think so.”

You reach for thee door. It’s locked, and it won’t unlock. Of course. You (gently) pound your head against the door, before turning to face Metatron. You take a breath, and answer as calmly as you can given how angry you are.

“What. Do you want?”

“I merely hoped that we could agree upon...an arrangement.”

“Pretty sure I made it clear back at the bookshop that I’m not letting you anywhere near them.”

“Oh dear, no. This has nothing to do with the demon or with Aziraphale. This is about you.”

You mentally brace yourself. Here comes the manipulation. You inwardly remind yourself of the tropes of villain manipulation and all the things you’ve ever shouted at the tv screen after one of these interactions. You need to be prepared, because apparently you need to play this out. And so, you give him the response he clearly wants.

“What about me?”

“Well, my dear, I only thought that perhaps you might like to go home.”

“Ha! Nice try.”

“You have no desire to return to your family? Your friends? Your life?”

“Not right now, thanks.”

“And you think you’ll get a similar offer later?”

“I mean...well yeah. I don’t know whether I would actually want to go back yet but --”

“You think Aziraphale and his associates will want to keep you as their pet forever? My dear, they only entertain you right now because you’re useful to them.”

Okay, I mean you knew that already but still. Ouch. Hearing it out loud is just...Ouch. Unfortunately, you do not have the Acting Prowess of either Michael Sheen or David Tennant, and so the Metatron sees the Ouch. He smiles kindly.

“Here, you are merely a tool,” he continues, voice smooth as honey, “And back home there are people who love you and value your presence in their lives. Back home there are people who miss you purely because you are you. Here, you are well, a convenience. A help. But that’s all. And once this is all over, there is no promise, no guarantee that you would be able to return. And no reason for Aziraphale to keep you. You would need to start again, and since you needed the help of an angel to get through airport security, I’m guessing that would be very difficult for you. And then, of course, there’s your immortal soul to be concerned about once the Final Judgment comes to pass.”

You ignore the bait, even though it stings. Take a breath. You’ve got this.

“That’s all irrelevant right now,” You say.

“Is it? It seems that you’re….what’s that charming human expression? Flying by the seat of your pants?” He chuckles at his own joke. You smile awkwardly. Well, yes you are, but the heroes in stories do all the time. They figure it out as they go. You are doing no worse than any of them. You don’t find the joke so funny. And frankly his laughter is unsettling.

“Um...” You start uncertainly, “Well if that’s all, then can I go now?”

“In a moment,” the Metatron says smugly. Oh you hate that he has so much control right now. “First I would like to extend to you the offer of some help. I would like to see you home safely, at a time of your choosing. Whenever you feel that you are ready.”

“And you have the power to do that, do you?” You’re skeptical.

“I have the power of all Creation at my disposal.”

“Riiiiight. Just out of the goodness of your own angelic heart. That’s very kind of you Metatron.” You’re not sure if he hears the edge of sarcasm. He shrugs regardless.

“There is of course, one and only one thing I would like from you if you decide to take my help.”

“Oooooof course there is. I’m not letting you near Aziraphale and Crowley.”

“Once again, my dear, this has nothing to do with them. All I would like is to know why your first instinct was to take that coffee. The full truth, mind you. None of that sarcasm or loophole nonsense that you humans are so fond of. And do not be foolish enough to think I can’t tell the difference.” He looks at you pointedly.

That’s...a suspiciously innocuous request. But then again, it usually is with these sort of things, isn’t it? You feign non-chalance and tap your foot for emphasis.

“Are you done yet?” You ask obstinately. The door unlocks audibly behind you.

“Just think about it,” says the Metatron, “No rush.”

Oh yes there is one. You rush to open the door. Never before have you felt so relieved to be in a crowded place.

Don't worry about airplane route logistics or whether or not you can actually get a direct flight from Heathrow to Orlando. Just vote for whatever you would like :)

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 🖤

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[shroobles]

This shitty meme got a chuckle out of me so I'm posting it lol

[thetreestumptherapist]

When typos are more accurate than what you originally meant

I was typing something out for school and accidentally spelled "political" as "poolitical", paused for a second and was like "You know what? That's actually pretty accurate. It's a shame I can't leave it like that. :("

[bongjuiceconcentrate]

this just mad e it very likelu that trump will poop

it will stink

it will rattle the hinges of the stalls

u don’t like it? u have to pee

[orochimiko]

He would say otherwise, or he would be a poor assassin. But right now theres not much he would reveal, after all he is a shinobi, information is more of his thing then anything else.

"No reason to attack, after all my prey is only those who have been chosen."

By people? by the gods? a mystery, especially in this form now.

"If you allow, I have brought riceballs to snack on. Do you want?"

"There is nothing that can truly escape my sight--you would be found regardless."

Too many centuries fighting her way to the top, and then devouring those who dared to challenge: allowing her guard to fall were impossible for Kokushibō--and this situation only proved why. If she hadn't noticed him, what would he have done?

"Yet," she repeats, "It would be terribly foolish on your part to attempt it."

And with temple grounds guarded behind her, she didn't yet feel inclination.

[45cementry-gates]

Bahut poolitics ka gyan pel diya Abb milte hai 2029 mein guys Jai Hind.

[oatsynalliums]

Can you do a Misfortune x Asper child prebby please because we’re polite in here

Poolite little lady

[lunapower]

wow poolitics really makes people turn into bullies at least ik which blogs are putting on a facade. trump ftw!

I know you don't follow blog and your just randomly typing who hates that trump is a loser.

Can't even go off anon

[lebfilm]

A Cambrian explosion of psychotechnologies for navigating Chapel Perilous… ( OUR IS POOLITICS )

THE MORE WE WANDER THE MORE WE UNDERSTAND AMERICAN HELL-ACTION IT’S A SHOW OF #LOTUS23 AND THE POLL IS A WRONG WORD IS THE POOL OF MUTATION THAT IS IS IN ACTION. The #LiminalSec

[life-sport-travel]

10 Best Places to Visit in Chile - Travel Video

https://lifesporttravel.com/?p=342 10 Best Places to Visit in Chile - Travel Video - https://lifesporttravel.com/?p=342 The Fundamentals Of Planning Your Business Travel Like An ExpertAs a business with constant taking a trip workers – you’re probably greater than mindful that service traveling planning entails money and time, two very beneficial things. Here are a couple of ideas to remember to remain on the ball of your service traveling preparation. Wonderful Experience But Boarding a Nile Cruise Is a Life-Changing ExperienceThere is absolutely nothing more exciting than intending a getaway around the most legendary historical nation of the globe, Egypt. Egypt is among one of the most interesting and also breathtaking place one can visit throughout his/her life time. Particularly mentioning Nile, there is no excursion package that does not include this monolithic traveler location of the nation. And cruising along the river, appreciating the scenic appeal of the country away from the city life should get on the pail checklist of vacationers seeing Egypt. Phrases You Need to Know When TravelingIf you’re taking a trip to an international country, it’s constantly better to know the language prior to you go. But if you don’t have time to in fact study the language of the country you’ll be visiting, you should at the very least know some expressions that will certainly be available in convenient on your trip. For your benefit, we’ve damaged down our suggested listing right into groups. What People Are Saying About a Costa De La Luz Holiday?If you are planning to enjoy your following holidays in Spain, take a look at the concealed gems of Spain. Costa de la Luz is recognized for its relaxing villages and easy white sand beaches. It is a beautiful resort that deals with the Atlantic on the south-western shore and also offers a loosened up lifestyle without much group of site visitors. This part of Spain crosses 200 kilometers and there are several coves and also sandy coastlines to explore. The Maharaja’s Express – A Regal Travel ExperienceTravelling in Maharajas Express train is nothing except a divine experience. To travel on this high-end train will certainly confirm to be a memorable experience. Only a handful of locations in this world can beat the high-end that has been supplied by this train. Calling Maharaja Express a luxury train is just underestimating its individuality. All All-Inclusives Aren’t AlikeDo you find yourself overwhelmed which extensive to take your next priceless trip? You probably do, provided the variety of various buildings available that consist of the words complete in their name. Caveat emptor though. Be Safe on the RoadWith a lot of vehicles taking a trip when traveling these days, as a driver you need to be added mindful. You might not make any kind of errors and also you may adhere to all the road policies however you still require to be mindful due to the fact that you never know what the other road customers might do. Below are a couple of ideas on staying risk-free on the road. Tips for Keeping Children Safe in a Swimming PoolIt is actually trendy for the entire family members to swim in the local swimming pool. However, if you have small kids in your family, you have to take a couple of security preventative measures to make certain that kids can delight in swimming. Parents must keep a close vigil when youngsters are swimming. Grownups must involve fully when children remain in the swimming pool. A child can drown in as low as one inch of water. Many individuals believe that they will hear a spraying noise or cry for aid, but lot of times there is no sound at all. Below, some tips are given here for maintaining youngsters risk-free in a swimming pool: Tips for Making an Authentic Paella, Spanish Style!It is a daunting job to make an authentic paella utilizing conventional and challenging components. The recipe came from Valencia, Spain. It is made and also served by the Spanish individuals in the house as a weekly public lunch for their friends and family. There are some essential things that you should recognize about making genuine paella. Holidaying in IndiaIndia is a fairly large nation where one can see a great deal of diversities as relates to the setting and also the method of life. Planning is necessary for having a hearty vacation time. How to Plan a Holiday & Choose Holiday Packages – Top Tips for Stress Free Travel & TicketingThe very first step of any type of trip is constantly need to appertain planning. Although unintended and spontaneous traveling is exciting often yet correct planning points ahead of time assists you tremendously. You must have a preliminary schedule mapped out prior to you in fact schedule your tickets and also holidays. Mike Izzo https://lifesporttravel.com/?p=342

[becoming-not-became]

CarefulWhat

When one gets what one wants getting isn’t nearly as satisfying assay wanting it There’s something factual in having something Whereas wanting swimsin desires poolit’s nebulous proneto morphing changing depending upon mood That is why said the genie to the waifKnow precisely what before you wishfor once granted one forever has And having isworse than not

[shroobles]

Too anarchist for the communists, too communist for the anarchists.

[talktotom]

Wwwell you should just KNNOWvshf be poolite to your superiors and elders you bbbad b oy! what kindcg of protégée arre you if you dontbhgave basic mannerss!!! And. I don’t know wehatttt you’re trying to say thhere but it’s INNAORROPRIATE. bad ddog! bad!

Peach mojito timmeeee

[jiggadphotography]

POOLIT #nationalhotel #Jiggadmediacarnival #PooLit @iceboxentertainment #MiamiCarnival2k19 #CARNIVALweekend #miamimode #Miamicarnival2019 #soca #carnival2019 @nationalhotelmiami #Miamicarnivalweekend #MiamiCarnival #poolparty #miamiparty #southbeach #jiggadmedia #CollinsAvenue POOLIT 💦⁣ #Beachwear ⁣#travelcruzan #PoolitReturns ⁣ #IceBoxEnt ⁣ #bikini #swimwear #OnePumpIsNeverEnough⁣ #iceboxmiami #iceboxentertainment ⁣ (at Miami, Florida) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3jKHnhAvAg/?igshid=9rnp7k880k53

[hauntedandlovesick]

*wish Trump a happy birthday* *wish Trump a happy fourth of July* *tell Trump how you feel about him in this survey* just get some fucking friends my dude.

[aishasauce]

commission for @straviios!