#polyamory vs cheating

[brw]

it's so hard being a sue storm head because yes when people talk about sue cheating on reed with namor it's always misogynistic it's always ableist it's always mean-spirited to every character involved it poorly portrays sue, reed and namor and puts them in unflattering lights just for a misogynistic push on their characters. and you do all this and you say all this and it's like damn. i can't advocate for sue storm/alicia masters adultery on main now after doing all that.

[problematic-yuri-poll]

Problematic Yuri Tournament Season 2 - Losers' Round 7

Murciélago vs. My Girlfriend's Not Here Today

Murciélago (manga by Yoshimurakana)

action, comedy

Sexual Content: HIGH; Gore: HIGH; Violence: HIGH

Submitted 2 times.

Submitted problematic elements:

Main character is a serial killer lesbian. theres incest, rape, body horror, emotional manipulation, among others

Protagonist is a serial killer, sexual predator, and a pedophile. She's basically the worst woman of all time. She also manipulates several women into sleeping with her.

Submitted content warnings:

oh yeah i mean tw for violence, incest, rape, bullying, children in peril and others

Extreme violence and gore, explicit sex, sexual assault, pedophilia, child murder, cannibalism, and just a general mess of nasty stuff

Submitted propaganda:

Its got an actually evil lesbian MC who has a lot of depth. Its funny as fuck and its got really interesting narrative, amazing action and compelling characters. Its also very sexy and beautifully drawn

Kuroko Koumori is the best character in yuri history and absolutely nobody does it like her.

My Girlfriend's Not Here Today (manga by Iwami Kiyoko)

drama, romance, psychological

Sexual Content: HIGH; Gore: NONE; Violence: NONE

Mod submission.

Mod-submitted problematic elements:

cheating, dubcon, toxic relationships

Mod-submitted content warnings:

sometimes in this series consent can be iffy. also, occasional suicidal ideation, pet death, family death, parental abuse

Mod-submitted propaganda:

for those who love messy drama! self-described by the author as "disturbing trash yuri". maybe polyamory could have saved them but it's too late now and honestly we prefer to watch them get worse.

[chaifootsteps]

hey chai, long post incoming--i'm slowly chipping away at a draft of a vivzie drama masterpost i'll be phrasing as "why are people mad at vivziepop" for new-comers. i'll be including screenshots where i can and small summaries for things. that said, this is my rough list, have i missed anything that you can think of, or any specifics you think outta be mentioned?

VivziePop General Issues - Some from the Past that still happen in the Present

Inability to Handle Criticism / Confrontation

Transphobia

Misogynistic Tendencies

Issues with Improper Crediting / "Stealing" Ideas

Liking Tweets of Fans and Otherwise Who Agree with Her / Praise Her / Defend Her

Most of both her series’ “charm” is thanks to people other than her

Despite having two "LGBT+ friendly" series she primarily focuses on gay men and hasn't been the most LGBT+ friendly in other areas (acephobia, transphobia, lack of rep for queer women/wlw, thinks polyamory is just an excuse to cheat)

Conflicts between Vivzie putting forth an image of a struggling small-time creator who pulled herself up by the bootstraps and made it VS. circumstantial evidence that she is very well off financially and always has been; had her schooling paid for, spent a summer in Paris, takes expensive trips, makes expensive purchases, and lives in a million dollar house with multiple bedrooms and a pool

Testimonies of Ex-Employees and Friends

Erin Frost

KenDraws

Salem

VivziePop “Canon Events” of the Past and Present (20??-Present)

The Snake Tub & Creepy Fanart

Blaire White Fanart

Nazi Sausage Party Fan-Characters from blog “i-hate-jewce”

Starvader Drama

DollCreep / JayJay/Jiji Drama

Viv guilt-tripped a Patron for trying to get at least a partial refund for a financial emergency--many feel that while Viv was in the right for not wanting to refund the Patron, she handled it extremely poorly

Viv's 2018 "Apology"

Support of Angel Dust x Valentino as a “r*pe ships”

Her sister apologized on her behalf to someone she cyber bullied and her sister cited Viv as “having a problem” cyberbullying people. [Kedi's consequent reaching out to the sister having heard she was being a mediator for said person resulted in Viv saying Kedi was stalking her family.]

Viv kicking the original Hazbin Hotel pilot cast after saying she’d fight to keep them onboard [Michael has stated it was not a union issue and explained how he was even willing to shoulder the cost of having him on the show but was still let go.]

Viv saying redesigns are "disrespectful"

VivziePop Opinions of Other Artists

“I could destroy her” and everything else shitty she said about Kyra -- Kyra’s "Wolf in Sheep's Clothing" comic & tweets People Suspect Are About Vivzie

Calling Tracy Annoying

Ashley (Creator of Far-Fetched)

- Viv wasn’t happy with Hunicast’s popularity (mainly run by Ashley) and was mad people were mistaking Ashley for the creator of Hazbin Hotel despite Ashley always making sure to correct people. - Viv learned something personal about Ashley that she used to make fun of her behind her back. - Allegedly one of the reasons Viv kicked most the original VA cast of Hazbin Hotel were due to them associating with Ashley. - Allegedly didn’t like that Ashley was leaving to work on her own indie pilot (Far-Fetched)

Bullying KediKatzen for having a similar art style, accusing Kedi of stalking her and her family, cyberbullying Kedi

SpindleHorse Related (VivziePop’s Animation Studio)

Rushed, Disorganized, Unprofessional Productions

Favoritism by Viv

“Cliquey” Behavior from Executives

Tight Deadlines

Underpaying

Working on other projects / working multiple jobs was generally frowned upon and discouraged.

In at least two instances Viv actually went out of her way to try and keep people from being hired elsewhere. - In one she told Ashley that Erin was "mentally unstable" - In another she told Nico Colaleo (Ollie & Scoops) not to hire “her artists” aka people working on her project(s).

VivziePop Criticisms Specific to Her Writing

Being Known to Skip Development to “Get to the Good Stuff”

Revealing / Confirming Story and World Lore via Liking Tweets, Making Tweets, or Behind a Patreon Paywall, instead of writing them into the series itself

Adding New Ideas Just Because She Likes Them, with Little Regard for how they Affect the Story

Rushing Characters’ Development and/or Retconning Characters to fit New Plots / Ideas

Apparent Lack of Research, Or At Least Poor Execution, of Her Ideas, Resulting in “Wasted Potential”

Concern over Mis-Management of “Morally Gray” and “Abusive” Character / Relationship Dynamics

Concern over apparent increasing themes of Inc*st in Helluva Boss

VivziePop Criticisms Specific to Her Art / Character Design

Over-Detailed Character Designs

Confusing Character Designs

Character Designs with Too Many Colors

Art style / designs that are “not animation friendly” --As well as her personal quality of art deteriorating over time

Animation is jittery, moving too much, or moving too fast

What Happened with Lackadaisy

VivziePop allegedly wanted to be on the Lackadaisy production in the past, but didn’t get hired

VivziePop has called Lackadaisy Creator Tracy “annoying” for “being active” in an animation channel on Discord

VivziePop tweeted a screenshot of a $5,000 Pledge to Lackadaisy’s backer-kit [which would’ve given Spindlehorse an Associate Producer’s credit on the future Lackadaisy productions]

Lackadaisy Crew Member ZeBirdBrain passive-aggresively replied that “since Medrano couldn’t be bothered to share the donation link, here it is!” And that money amount didn’t matter, every little bit counts.

It was revealed by SH Animator Mel in reply to ZeBirdBrain that the donation came from multiple team-members at SH (VivziePop did not mention this in her donation tweet.)

ZeBirdBrain deleted her original tweet.

ZeBirdBrain was harassed by VivziePop fans to be fired

Fans found tweets in ZeBirdBrain’s likes that appeared to be transphobic

One of ZeBirdBrain’s friends, a trans man, spoke up in defense of Ze, that Ze had known them since before their transition in 2013 and had been nothing but supportive.

Lackadaisy Co-Creator Fable, a trans masc, chimed in that they were made aware of the tweets, they looked into the matter, and were satisfied with the explanations they were given and hoped that would be enough for everyone.

[Fighting continued between fans and Lackadaisy crew members but the general consensus from the Lackadaisy crew seemed to be that they knew Ze to be a supportive ally, the liked tweets were a debated subject even in trans circles w/trans folk on both sides of the argument, Ze uses/used her likes as bookmarks rather than using the bookmark feature, and the reason Ze wasn’t saying all this herself was out of fear the rabid fandom wouldn’t take her word for it and would instead slander her further.]

Later, Lackadaisy’s Backer-Kit campaign ended, at which point Backer-Kit begins processing all the payments.

VivziePop posts a screenshot that “Spindlehorse’s” donation was denied.

Tracy replied to Viv’s tweet professionally, saying they had explained to SH the reason for the denial in private.

Viv’s fanbase became increasingly volatile towards this, claiming Tracy was “unprofessional” and “just should’ve accepted the money” and everyone should “boycott Lackadaisy”

Tracy, on one of her servers, not only elaborated more on the Ze incident (repeating much of what had already been said), but also revealed they had actually reached out to Spindlehorse in private, well before the campaign ended, and requested that they withdraw their donation. Spindlehorse refused.

i think that's about it--and obv where screenshots are available they will be linked in the full post i eventually make.

This looks amazing to me, and also you're doing god's work; something like this was insanely needed.

[vickyvicarious]

You may be interested in this article about ine if the "unpublished" letters in Dracula. It's the letter from Mina to Lucy that we don't get to see.

https://www.mpw.ac.uk/2021/03/18/the-suppressed-letter-in-dracula/

(I've not read all of it yet, but the author takes jabs at the literary critics who call Lucy frivolous and empty headed)

(Link for ease of clicking.) Okay, so this is another instance of the author raising several interesting points but then interpreting them in ways that go wildly against my view of the book and the characters.

Mina's missing letter to Lucy is indeed interesting. I love the defense of Lucy's intelligence. The idea of condolences being given in some capacity as well is quite interesting. There are certainly hints towards bisexuality/polyamory throughout the story. Lucy's search for the key vs. Jonathan's search for the key is something I've noted myself.

However...

Then the article begins to suggest that Dracula/vampires are liberating in some way. They don't come right out and say it but there are hints with the suspicion at Mina's description of her attack (I read it as her guilt complex, not her in denial about having actual complicity) or remarking that Dracula is Lucy's key and generally leads to freedom in the various escape scenes except with Jonathan (Lucy tries to take a literal key from Mina; when she leaves she is put in a position of danger. There is something to be discussed about 'freedom from the cage' with Lucy, Renfield, Bersicker leaving the home/asylum/zoo... but it's notable that they never actually become free, just puppeted by or drawn to Dracula, and they're all hurt in the process). I don't think Mina blushing in that scene where she asked if her entry was necessary to add was because she felt guilty about possibly having cheated/wanted to with Arthur - I think she didn't want to embarrass people, and also maybe was embarrassed at her own excitement/gushing. I don't believe Mina's letter about her wedding was trying to convince Lucy to follow her duty and marry a man she doesn't love, but instead meant as a comfort in advance for the loss of her mother that Mina knew would soon occur.

I don't think that Lucy doesn't love Arthur. If anything, I think her difficulty speaking about him in too great detail suggests her love for him is deeper and more genuine. The lack of detail in the proposal scene is actually a match with a pattern in books like Jane Austen, where bad proposals are delivered exactly and good ones are summarized. I think Lucy loves Arthur a lot, and her line about marrying three men is more reflective of her not wanting to disappoint them than her genuinely being romantically inclined towards them. I did a whole analysis of that entry last year, talking about how Lucy and Arthur are shown to be more in sync than she is with either other suitor.

However, his alignment with Mrs. Westenra is really interesting, and I do agree that he is the definitely the one that there would be pressure towards. Quincey is rich, Jack has had an impressive career - but Arthur is rich, titled, established in local society, and of the same/greater social class. I think, however, that the tension here revolves around Lucy and Mrs. Westenra, not Lucy and Arthur. Mrs. Westenra clearly wants them to be married, and I suspect is going to a fair bit of effort to push them together. I wonder if she is the chaperone for them, and in fact is not allowing them alone together (something Lucy mentions about Arthur's proposal, that he had tried a couple times but didn't get the chance). But Lucy's mother isn't just pushy about Arthur. She infantilizes Lucy and doesn't tell her things, and I think is a major contributor to Lucy's own difficulty about speaking up about her own feelings.

I've spoken in the past about how key the fundamental truthfulness of our authors is to this book. And that's something the article discusses as well, remarking how they all align with one another to tell a single agreed story despite different authors. However, I don't think we're intended to try and read between the lines to find places where they are lying/hiding from one another. And I also just don't think they are for the most part. It ties into the themes of the book more for them to be open where they can, and thus makes them sharing these documents more significant as well. Admittedly, the author of this article isn't suggesting that Lucy is outright lying to Mina here... more that she is forcing herself into playing a role, and Mina sees through it. But I still think that undercuts the primarily happy tone of this letter in a real way.

I do love the idea that Mina's letter does have some actual commiseration about things that are bothering Lucy. But I would read that as being much more about Mrs. Westenra and Lucy's expected role in society. Lucy wants to speak more of Arthur but she can't, because of the type of restrictions a lady has to follow. That sort of thing, more than doubting Lucy's feelings for Arthur are genuine. She's obviously stressed about marrying him, hence the sleepwalking, but again I don't doubt her feelings for him. I think it's the major shift in role and also concern for her mother, possibly mixed in with resentment of her.

Mina and duty is also an interesting topic and there is plenty to discuss there. But I don't see her as forcing herself in her various relationships. She genuinely loves Jonathan, her support for Lucy and Arthur is genuine too. She actually assigns things she does for fun to dutiful reasoning several times. I just... don't agree with the way this article interprets its topic.

Relatedly, there are several other letters alluded to that we never get to see. I recently noticed Jonathan's short letter to Mina before arriving at the castle, but there are more to come. Some of them also seem relevant to the plot, perhaps even more so than some of these letters between Lucy and Mina. But I think these are included because they establish things that become relevant, such as Mina's plan to keep a journal, Mina's knowledge of the three suitors before she meets them, Lucy's health at various points, and such details. Why things make it in or don't can still be interesting to discuss, but I just don't interpret them as ever holding some key that will unlock a secret hidden in the rest of the book. Whether that be about relationships or events.

[critter-rarepair-reccs]

Hello all! Hope your Wednesday has been well so far. This week we have fourteen fics featuring various different polyamorous ships! As always, you can find them below the cut and if you check any of them out, I encourage you to leave kudoes and comments to spread the rarepair love 💕

gilded mischief by annie_blackbird (20,437 words, Explicit) Pairing: Yussa Errenis/Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast (Shadowidoyussa) Warnings: Consensual Somnophilia, Safeword Use, Mentions of Slavery

Caleb and Essek spend a night with Yussa, with Caleb under the effect of a sleeping potion. After some discussion, the night progresses with Essek as Yussa's very good boy.

Reccer Says: *grabs you by the shoulder* you need to read this fic. Even if you're not already aboard the Shadowidoyussa ship. It will convert you. It is so soft. It is so hot. Like, the perfect balance of tooth-rotting fluff and scorchingly hot smut. Yussa is Exandria's softest dom and I adore him. Essek is a sweetheart doing his very best and I'm holding him in my hands. Caleb is asleep but the ways he's still a present influence on the story through Essek's POV is absolutely wonderful. Please read it, you will not regret it.

can't you see yourself by my side? by ryseling (7,519 words, Explicit) Pairing: Fjord/Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast (Widofjorester) Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Under-negotiated Relationship

Fjord and Jester are together, and Caleb - hopelessly in love with them as he is - agrees to a threesome. Porn with feelings, Caleb POV.

Reccer Says: Very well written in terms of style. Everyone also feels very in character.

Hearts Full of Light by kaeda (5,032 words, Mature) Pairing: Astrid Beck/Fjord/Eadwulf Grieve/Jester Lavorre Warnings: None

The nein & friends are restoring the blooming grove after Trent's attack in 141. Mostly lighthearted as Jester meddles & matchmakes. POV alternating between Fjord and Jester.

Reccer Says: Jester/Astrid/Fjord/Eadwulf is such an underrated rarepair.

all glittering things by quinn_of_aebradore (32,418 words, Teen) Pairing: Mollymauk Tealeaf/Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast (Shadowidomauk) Warnings: Minor Canon Character Death

"Essek Thelyss, prodigious dunamancer and crown Prince of Rosohna. Caleb Widogast, illustrious court mage for the Lord Eadwulf Grieve of Blumenthal. Mollymauk Tealeaf, Opal of Nicodranas, fourth child of the Tealeaf Estate. What happens when affection escapes the bounds of propriety and courting? What comes once a kiss has been bestowed? A romance draped with light and honey, of course."

Reccer Says: I just love this entire AU so much so I'm cheating and reccing the whole thing lol... it's so well done and thoughtfully constructed, and they're sooo lovey dovey and pining and flirty ugghggh - bonus: the lucien vs essek part makes me especially feral 🤣💜

Kisses by the Road by Clare_Hope (6,351 words, Teen) Pairing: Dorian Storm/Fearne Calloway/Dariax Zaveon/Opal Warnings: Alcohol

Fearne wins the drinking contest in Byroden and requests kisses as her prize. Polyamory and shenanigans ensue.

Reccer Says: I enjoyed it!

I dream of you amid the flowers by glittergarbage (66,967 words, Explicit) Pairing: Mollymauk Tealeaf/Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast (Shadowidomauk) Warnings: Dirty Talk, Smut, AFAB NB Molly, Threesome

"In which Mollymauk comes back to his body, minus a few memories, at the Blooming Grove. Essek is intrigued. Caleb is glad."

Reccer Says: I LOVE THIS FIC SM.... it's such a perfect post-canon depiction of the slow, realistic, exciting, curious unfolding of their relationship, and I love their characterizations and dynamics 🥰🥰🥰 it's a SWM classic to me

First Light by the_deep_magic (5,673 words, Explicit) Pairing: Ashton Greymoore/Orym/Dorian Storm (Dashrym) Warnings: None

Ashton wakes up while Orym is doing his morning exercises, which they find Very Sexy. Dorian, already awake, agrees and the two of them pretend to be asleep until Orym is done and they can have sex about it.

Reccer Says: Domestic Dashrym, hot smut, and a very well-written Ashton POV 💕

locked in here with us by wanderingbasilisk (3,002 words, General) Pairing: Mollymauk Tealeaf/Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast (Shadowidomauk) Warnings: None

"a dragon, a damsel in a tower, a knight in shining armor you can guess how this goes ;)"

Reccer Says: Love a fairytale AU! It's just so sweet and fun and adorable and there's a little sprinkle of angst in there which is sooo good 💜🧡💜 delightful and heartwarming

in the light of long-dead things by Anonymous (3,426 words, Teen) Pairing: Astrid Beck/Eadwulf Grieve/Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast (Blumenshadow) Warnings: PTSD, Panic Attacks

While spending the night in Caleb’s tower, Astrid gets thrown into the past.

Reccer Says: God, the way this one has Stuck with me since I first read it. The visual of Astrid squeezing herself under the nook by the stairs is burned into my brain. Her panic, Wulf coaxing her back to herself and the present, her reactions to Caleb and Essek, it’s all so heartaching and wonderful, I love it so much.

to be in someone else's coat by jaskofalltrades (1,369 words, General) Pairing: Mollymauk Tealeaf/Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast (Shadowidomauk) Warnings: None

Widomauk/Pre-Shadowidomauk where Molly and Caleb were the ones to walk Essek home from dinner at the Xhorhaus

Reccer Says: Listen SWM canon molly lives AU is a wonderful and rare creature and this is one such example that gave me the warm cozies... also I LOVE WHEN THEY FLIRT AAAA 💜💕

Where I am going you can't save me by thesweetpianowritingdownmylife (20,461 words, Teen) Pairing: Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett/Yasha Nydoorin (Beauyashter) Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Vomiting, Blood

Yasha starts coughing up petals, white and blue. There is no doubt to whom they belong. Aka Beaujasha Hanahaki AU. Set after episode 89.

Reccer Says: I enjoyed it!

keep following the heartlines on your hands by floralprintshark (8,014 words, Teen) Pairing: Fjord/Mollymauk Tealeaf/Caleb Widogast (Widofjolly) Warnings: None

Five times Molly tries to set up Fjord and Caleb with each other and one time Molly gets set up with them.

Reccer Says: I enjoyed it!

We also have two reccs for: the stranger who was your self by Demenior (60,045 words, Mature) Pairing: Fjord/Eadwulf Grieve/Jester Lavorre Warnings: Power Dynamics

Eadwulf joins Fjord & Jester's crew as they sail the Lucidian. POV alternating between the three leads. Fjord and Jester are about to embark on a high-seas adventure...and Eadwulf shows up and insists on joining their crew. They don't know what he's plotting (or what he's running away from,) but that won't stop them from flirting with him until they find out.

Reccer 1 Says: I enjoyed it! Reccer 2 Says: Adorable Fjorester flirting. All the sexual tension of that one sword fight between Fjord and Eadwulf. Unstoppable force (Jester Lavorre) meets immovable object (the world's most miserable, wretched wet dog of a scourger.)

And we have three reccs for: amongst the things left unforgiven by nonwal (63,958 words, Mature) Pairings: Astrid Beck/Eadwulf Grieve/Essek Thelyss, Astrid Beck/Eadwulf Grieve/Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast (Blumenshadow) Warnings: Panic Attacks, Discussions of Suicidality/Euthenasia, Temporary Character Death, Suicidal Ideation

Astrid and Eodwulf start visiting Essek in Rosonah to keep an eye on him, then Essek starts visiting them at Caleb's tower in Rexxentrum to keep an eye on them. They dance around eachother in conversation out of mutual distrust (and flirting) long enough to save Essek from himself and fall in love about it. Astrid and Eadwulf take it upon themselves to save Essek from himself. Two scourgers show up at Essek's home to interrogate him about the Mighty Nein. Then he discovers that both of them are also uselessly pining over Caleb. Then, he gets closer than advisable.

Reccer 1 Says: the character dynamics and banter are absolutely top notch. the author really nails the character voices. Reccer 2 Says: I enjoyed it! Reccer 3 Says: An alternate ending to C2 with a great balance of intrigue, angst, slow-burn romance, and fluff (if you can count three wizards lying to each other for fun as fluff.)

Thank you for joining us this week’s recc list! All the love to everyone who submitted a fic 💕 All enclosed recommendations were submitted by the community via our submissions form, which you can find here. All fic information is as it was provided by the reccer, so it may not be accurate to the author’s intent or the precise contents of the fic itself. Please assume good intent from all parties 💕

Submissions for next week’s list are already open! We’ll be featuring Enemies to Lovers. If you have any you’d like to highlight, you can send them in here. The week after that, the theme is Miscommunication and the weeks after that we’re taking recommendations for Works in Progress and Angst! Submissions for all of these themes are currently open.

If you want more rarepair fic, check out @cr-summer-wildflowers and their event collections on ao3! If you want some friendship after all this romance, take a look at @critter-genfic-events and their recc lists! And if you’re interested in everyone’s favorite wizards, you can’t go wrong with the lists at @aeor-is-for-reccing !

Thanks all and have a lovely day/night/timezone! 💕

[branmuffins22]

Every once in a while, I come across an Owl House fic in which someone does something romantic/sexual with someone who isn't their established partner, and I see it tagged as "Cheating". Which, in the context of that fic, is almost certainly exactly right! (I wouldn't know for sure, I don't really read these fics.)

But I can't help but imagine the leadup to this, how this situation comes about in the first place. And wonder how, at no point, did the previously-involved character bring this up to their established partner. And wonder how, at some point, they decided that doing these things with someone who isn't their established partner is bad, and wrong, and "Cheating".

The Boiling Isles were made to have few or none of the usual biases which brought about our cisnormative, heteronormative, amatonormative, allonormative, perisex-normative, etc. society. Some real-world biases remain, like ableism, classism, and (although it's quite different from its real-world counterpart) racism, but they're mostly reserved for the real jerks, not applied on a wider scale. In all, it's an absolute queer haven, and I somehow doubt that polyamory is where they draw the line.

Since the most recent ship I saw with this was Luz/Viney (cheating on established Luz/Amity), let's imagine two scenarios.

Scenario A:

Viney sends Luz some Signals: she wants something romantic and/or sexual from her. Luz, oblivious as she is, doesn't notice the implications until things have already progressed to a certain point with Viney's desparation to get the point across and/or mounting inability to reign in her impulses, so something has already been done, by Viney, to Luz. Stolen kiss, slap on the ass, whatever, doesn't matter. They're impulsive teens, so everything feels like the Most Thing. Luz talks to Amity about it in a panic, because of COURSE she does, those two are modern media's single most communicative leading ladies. Amity is like "Oh shit, but did she mention me?" because she's also kind of a massive lesbian, and Viney is the triple threat of Confident, Competent, and Chaotic. Even if Amity has no particular feelings for Viney (which is admittedly pretty likely), she must still admit that Viney is a hell of a catch. So far, she has no reason to feel anything but happy for Luz, and doesn't understand why Luz is panicking. Luz, having grown up in the modern, compulsively monogamous United States, is confused as fuck about Amity's seemingly blase attitude toward this development, and says something like "But isn't that/wouldn't that be cheating???" and Amity is like "What? Cheating how? Who's being cheated out of something? Viney? Me? You?" 'Cause like. Nobody loses. Luz gets to kiss or whatever with Viney and also kiss or whatever with Amity. Nothing about one says she can't do the other. Hell, dating someone who's dating someone is a great way to get to know someone, and a great way to gauge mutual interest, should you ever want to date someone. Luz predictably brings up that whole weird monogamous people thing with like. Assumed exclusivity, or whatever you call it. And Amity is like "Okay, but I don't own you??? I can't control everything you do and dictate who you can interact with and how, because what the FUCK, that would be super evil and controlling and manipulative and weird. And way too much like something Odalia would do." And Luz is like "Oh shit. Wow. Polyamory. Awesome. Once I'm done disavowing all notions of infidelity, and figure out my own feelings on the matter, will you hold my hand for moral support as an excuse to come along with me when I get back to Viney about it?" And Amity is like "Hell yeah. Let's fucking go." And then they do and maybe something comes of it but who fucking knows or cares because they Communicated. Like they are wont to do. Sike, actually. I care, and I think Viney/Luz/Amity is AWESOME.

VS

Scenario B:

Viney sends Luz some Signals. Luz reciprocates these signals immediately, despite herself, because she's an impulsive teen, I guess. One thing leads to another, and WHOOPS, now Luz is in some kind of not-strictly-platonic relationship with Viney, even though she was already in such a relationship with Amity. Luz internally berates herself for her infidelity, all the while still doing said infidelity. She doesn't tell Amity because she's way too deep now, it would ruin the relationship, or something! Amity finds out anyways and becomes so heartbroken that she breaks up with Luz on the spot and probably drinks herself into a coma or something. I don't know, this isn't really my subgenre. Luz only realizes her mistake after it has already cost her the love of her life (whom she already knowingly and willingly betrayed, somehow), and I dunno how much further into this scenario I need to go for you to get the point.

Which of these do you think is more likely? Which of these appeals more to you, personally? Which of these completely butchers the existing characters and their dynamics for the sake of a "hey wouldn't it be fucked up if ___" hypothetical? For the record: you and I might disagree on any or all of these.

I dunno. Maybe I'm just too poly for this. Or not allo enough for this. Or too much of a multi-shipper for this. Or haven't actually read the fics in question enough for this. Or haven't felt the touch of another recently enough for this. It sure has been almost a decade. Gosh. Who can say.

[sir-arlieosaurus-lung-struggler]

the aromantic is confuesed

☆ Aromantic culture is just genuenly not understanding the difference between romantic relationships and platonic friendships.

☆ Fyi: apologies for the plethora of "like," statments, it just feels more natural for some reason. I expect this to possibly get hated on? I dont know, couldnt care less if it dose tho 🤷🏻‍♂️

☆ Like, I just dont understand the concept of cheating. I get its considered bad. I get why its considered bad as its a breach of trust/boundaries/etc, but i dont understand why people prefer to be monogamous as i genuinely just dont see a difference between friends and romantic partners, I get that there is a difference, i respect that differece where people draw it themselves, I just can't see it.

☆ Like, I see the difference between queerplatonic relashionships & friendship, but I just can't distinguish any other type of relashionship & romance for some reason.

☆ And i just dont get why theres a distinction between monogamy & polyamory either? Like, were people? Why not be open to the possibility of feelings not following the preset mold of a random relashionship Hiarchy? Like ofc you can have your own rules in a relashionship, but I just dont get why monogamy with the 1 perfect "other half of you" is the priority vs fulfillment? Like, I don't expect 1 person to be my "other half" for the rest of my life, nor do I want someone to expect that of me cause that just feels like dumping way to many expectations onto 1 person. And like, you can devide yourself amoung multiple friends why not multiple romantic partners?

☆ And i dont get wanting a lifelong relashionship like that? I mean i do get wantinv 1 but expecting 1 i feel is just throwing alot of expectations on anither person, people change, feelings change, alot changes in life. It reminds me of how people are expected to choose what they want to do for the rest of your life as a teenager.

☆ Why r y'all bringing the government into your relashionship? And why do y'all STRIVE for that? Like, "lets officially legaly combine ourselves into a unit and make it real damn difficult if we end up seperating." Why should having a romantic partner logustically help you in life?? Like "hey, these 2 ppl said i do infront of an officiant, lets see if we can improve theyre taxes." How is they're logistically a "making this relashionship official" outside of- consenting parties deciding they're in a relashionship????

☆ Like, everyone was assigned to make a different venn diagram and label it with arbitrary concepts and they're relation/similarities/lack thereof, and its graded on participation; But everyone still argued over the non answer because they just can't fathom they're being no wrong answer.

☆ This isn't really meant to change anyones mind on romance, do whatever tf you want with your relashionships its your life; This is just me being real fucking confused at why people arbitrarily made these catagories lol.

☆ This was origonally gonna be an ask on an aromantic culture is blog but I quickly realized this was gonna be way too long for that.

☆ I may or may not add more mini rants to this in future reblogs this is just what I could think of as I was writing. Thanks if you actually read all of this

[comshipbracket]

Antis DNI - Block the tag "comship" if this causes discomfort.

Remember, you are voting for the ship you prefer, not the ship you find more problematic

Propaganda for both ships under the cut.

Disclaimer: All ships (other than NozoCoco) on this bracket are FOLLOWER-SUBMITTED ships, the Mods do not always hold necessary knowledge to be aware of any errors or fanonizing what should be canon material that may arise.

Zackray Propaganda (MinorxAdult, Toxic Dynamic)

"Ray is a 13-year-old girl who wakes up in a weird building without memories. Oh, there are some weird killers in the building with her too. Zack is one of them and the first time they meet he runs after her with a scythe. Love at first sight <3 (/joke)

At first, her memories return and she remembers why she was in that building in the first place. With her memories back, she becomes apathetic and almost indifferent to everything.

After Zack saves her from a very creepy doctor, she turns to him and asks one thing: `Could you kill me?`. Zack is very confused, but after he realizes that he would never be able to leave the building alone, he offers her a deal. He would only kill her after she helped him leave the building. This is the beginning of their connection.

I can't give too many spoilers, but seriously, they are a duo that subverts all expectations. Although Zack is a cold serial killer and blah blah blah, Rachel can be more cursed and scarier than him. It's really funny that she spends the entire anime begging him to kill her, and his reaction every time is `Wtf is wrong with you`. And yes, Zack may be an adult, but Ray can be more rational than him and is very good at understanding things quickly. She is the one who always finds a way for them to escape the traps of the other killers in the building.

He spends the entire anime asking her to smile, because then he would be more excited about killing her, but every time she tries to smile, he laughs at her and says that her smile is lifeless (and it really is, my poor girl).

At one point in the anime she says that he is her god. It's serious. She even hugs a knife he gave to her very intimately.

He compares her to a doll a few times in the anime. It's so weird and cute <3

They're not canon, but I would argue that the romantic subtext is there. Anyway, they are weird, traumatized people who end up getting very attached to each other."

Family Rentarou Propaganda (Pseudo-Incest - Hakari and Hahari are related, Rentarou dates both. Kusuri and Yaku are related, Rentarou dates them both, Pseudo-Age Gap/Pseudo-Teen x Minor - Kusuri and Yaku both use an immortality potion making them LOOK 8, Rentarou is 16, Incest, MotherxDaughter - Hahari french kissed her daughter Hakari, Age Gap, AdultsxMinor, AdultsxTeen - Yaku is 89 and Hahari is 29 while Rentarou is 16, Nonconsensual Drugging/Nonconsensual Love Potion - Kusuri keeps doing this to Rentarou)

"The God of love in Rentarou's world has legitimately declared these are Rentarou's official soulmates. He is required to date all 100 of these girls. When he even considered cheating as an option, he beat himself up for an entire night before settling on making this a proper polycule circumstance. Even when Hakari's mom enters the polycule, the polycule still keeps going strong! He's the first harem protagonist I've ever seen who says `You know what? Let's try polyamory! That's a way better idea!` and manages it healthily

With the polycule growing strong, with this many girlfriends, you might think that Rentarou would run out of energy or time to care for all of them. He doesn't! When it comes to Hakari and Karane, he manages to please them both despite their clashing deredere and tsundere personalities and jealous attitudes. He gets them to fall in love with not only him, but it's heavily implied also with each other!

When Shizuka - a mute girl - enters the picture, he spends entire days staying up all night to transcribe every word in the book she uses as a talking tool into a proper text to speech app, despite the book not having an App Reader version yet. He even downloaded the app he made to his own phone to show it was safe to her!

He's able to understand Nano's lack of emotions and need to do everything logically, but also able to see the subtleties in her mostly neutral expression and notice when she's enjoying herself. With Kusuri, he tries to both support her endeavour of making weird and new drugs, but ALSO to keep her safe. He does everything he can to keep these girls safe.

When Hakari's mom tried to prevent Hakari from dating Rentarou, he and his girlfriends staged a girlfriend rescue mission where they'd snatch her back and find her a new place where they could be together forever, no matter how much it would end up with Hahari trying to hunt them down... only for Rentarou to find a relationship with Hahari as well, after convincing her he was right for her daughter! Hahari fell in love with his genuine and sweet way of adoring each of these girls! If I talk about the rest of them this'll become far too long, so I'll leave it here! I adore Rentarou's family. The best depiction of a polyamorous group I've seen in any media, despite all it's wonks."

[obstinaterixatrix]

reading a bl where the mc is extremely monogamous and the li is in a lot of casual open relationships but 1) it’s framed by the mc as ‘cheating’ and I can’t tell if it’s an overall narrative thing or just a character thing yet, BUT since the endgame is certainly going to be a monogamous relationship between mc and li, it doesn’t really feel like the author’s going to really hit on the actual nuance of cheating as a betrayal of trust vs open relationships meaning informed consent between all parties (the girls in the manga seem chill with it) UNLESS the trajectory of the narrative is to make this distinction clear and remove the barrier to mc & li’s relationship, but even if that were the case it inherently reinforces the dominant narrative of monogamous relationships as inherently more valuable and endgame which frames polyamory/open relationships as inferior/temporary. 2) even though there seems to be informed consent with the li’s open relationships, I do feel like he talks a lot about his female partners doing things for him so he’s kind of a leech, he kind of sucks

[hertwood]

whiile i would still consider myself ambiamorous i'm recognizing that my solo poly ideas and aversion to living with other people was very down to. i needed a break from being her all the time. dating was "fun" as her but i could recognize, for reasons i couldn't understand, that doing that nonstop would be exhausting.

(in general i think we all would benefit from seeing monogamous vs polyamorous as a spectrum instead of one or the other. all polyamory is is a different set of boundaries for a relationship, but EVERY couple really SHOULD be establishing exactly what boundaries they want, and i think a lot of problems in monogamy are a misalignment in boundary expectations. "i cant believe my boyfriend won't stop watching porn, its cheating" did you establish this as a boundary from the getgo? just say you are incompatible and breakup!!!!!!!!!)

but i think i rly would be ok with monogamy in terms of--only being with one person at a time. i could never do all that pretending i cease to find other people attractive/not consume pornographic material etc etc. but plenty of monog ppl DONT expect that kind of exclusivity from their partners so i know those kind of relationships exist.

but in terms of partnership as in moving in together/having a life partnership is no longer a terrifying prospect to me. which is very weird to have to. rethink my entire future as not being alone and sad all the time. living with a boyfriend or a girlfriend no longer sounds like a nightmare as long as /i/ get to be a boyfriend too!!!!! but thats such a big change for me that its like. a lot to process. also i need to get deeper into my transition before i start dating again i think but i'm still thinking a lot!!!

[danpuff-ao3]

Tacky, @tackytigerfic, hello new friend! What a lovely human they are! (They are a Libra after all. And a Leo rising?? Everything makes sense.)

We first met on Reddit, bonding over a love of character flaws. 🥰 Quickest way to my heart. Outside of yummy snacks, that is. This person also has a big big love for Drarry...They love their OTP as much as I love my Snarry, which I have big respect and admiration for. It brings my heart so much joy to see such passion and devotion for one's ships! They're such a soft, warm, lovely presence in the community and I'm so glad to know them! And to have read some of their works, which are so full of color and joy and care, that I simply must share!

Aim For My Heart

Draco/Harry/Ron. Rated: E. 3,471. Polyamory negotiations. Developing relationship. Jealousy. Possessive Harry. Falling in love. Self-discovery.

I wanna note how gorgeous this was. Soft and feel-good, while also acknowledging some darker realities. Such as feelings of jealousy and possessiveness even in polyamorous folk. Polyamory isn't the absence of those feelings, but the desire and willingness to work with and/or through them. And that little bit was so meaningful to me to see, that nod to something so often considered ugly or a failing, and recognizing it as a simple truth and human nature that it is. And that it doesn't have to be a bad thing, nor does it have to spell doom.

Harry's in love, Ron's in control, and Draco just wants a nice lunch. They say three's a crowd, but Harry doesn't always agree. Not when he gets to be in the middle, anyway. - In which Harry's in love with Ron, and Harry's in love with Draco, but they're not in love with each other. Not yet, anyway.

Between the Power Lines

Draco/Harry. Rated: M. Words: 3,261. Road trips. Vacations. Friends to lovers. Falling in love. Very sweet.

For Harry Potter, all roads eventually lead to Draco Malfoy.

Or: this is not an AU! It's just Harry and Draco meeting by chance in an imported food shop in Connecticut and going on a road trip together. Featuring motels, cacti, Americana, and a hefty dose of pining.

Buttercup

Harry/Scorpius. Draco/Harry. Rated: E. Words: 2,814. Revenge sex. Hate sex. Moral ambiguity. Open/ambiguous ending. Angst.

The first of their fics I read! I came for the Scarry, ngl. (Hot pool boy Scarry vs my husband Snarry...🙈) and the "morally dubious everyone" tag really sold me. What a delightfully screwy mess this is!

Scorpius shoulders his way through the crowd, making for the bar just behind Harry. He's waiting for something—anything—but it's still a delicious shock to feel Harry's fingers against the skin of his wrist, dipping maddeningly slow under the cuff of his robe. Scorpius half-turns, raises that pale eyebrow exactly as the mirror had shown him, and lets the sneer drip from his mouth like a curse. 

"Potter."

Call Me Friend, But Keep Me Closer

Harry/Neville. Draco/Harry. Rated: M. Words: 4,164. Cheating. Angst. Jealousy. Moral ambiguity.

Messy and screwy and I LOVE IT.

"Neville Longbottom had always loved plants, but he loved Harry Potter more."

Neville's got a good thing going with Harry... or so he thinks.

Dreaming Skies

Co-written with @sweet-s0rr0w. Draco/Ron. Rated: E. Words: 20,572. Past: Charlie/Draco. Bedsharing. Roommates. Humor. Getting together. Boss/employee. Dragontamer Ron. Warder Draco. Magical theory.

I love me a good Dron!! 😍 And I'm forever impressed by (and envious of) people who cowrite! Especially seeing two great creators coming together on one excellent project!

Draco's life is going nowhere, so when Charlie Weasley offers him a job out on his reserve, Draco doesn't think twice before booking a Portkey. After all, it's not as if he has many other options. But when he arrives in Romania, he realises that nothing is quite what he expected... 

(a story about dragons and baking, friendship and little kindnesses, putting down new roots and falling in love)

[problematic-yuri-poll]

Problematic Yuri Tournament Season 2 - Round 1

My Girlfriend's Not Here Today vs. Joshikousei to Ouji-chan

My Girlfriend's Not Here Today (manga by Iwami Kiyoko)

Sexual Content: HIGH; Gore: NONE; Violence: NONE

Mod submission.

Mod-submitted problematic elements:

cheating, dubcon, toxic relationships

Mod-submitted content warnings:

sometimes in this series consent can be iffy. also, occasional suicidal ideation, pet death, family death, parental abuse

Mod-submitted propaganda:

for those who love messy drama! self-described by the author as "disturbing trash yuri". maybe polyamory could have saved them but it's too late now and honestly we prefer to watch them get worse.

Joshikousei to Ouji-chan (manga by Kuune Rin)

Sexual Content: LOW; Gore: NONE; Violence: NONE

Mod submission.

Mod-submitted problematic elements:

age gap

Mod-submitted content warnings:

age gap, transphobia (a character could be interpreted as transfem; backstory involves bullying over gender nonconformity, and there's a scene where this character is pushed into using the boys' changing room. plus the scanlator uses some.. choice terminology in credits pages)

Mod-submitted propaganda:

a cute short manga about a perverted little girl who loves an older girl she's friends with very much!

[dhr-ao3]

Serpents and Honey

Serpents and Honey https://ift.tt/5darYUV by KLaColeReads PART TWO to "OF PAPER CRANES AND LIES" (you must read part one FIRST): Draco has left Hogwarts on assignment to assist the assembly in the demise of the Muggle population. Hermione has been left under the care of Blaise Zabini, Draco's most trusted lifelong friend. As the relationship between the two grows, their bond changes from a simple friendship to a passionate love affair. Draco requests that he do whatever it takes to keep her comfortable, not knowing the extent of the curse or the other outlying reasons for her sickness (a lead up to book 3). He only asks that he control his desires and keep his hands to himself, but love is a drug and sex is inevitable. In this you will find a secret, forbidden kind of love and the truth to a deadly curse that they struggle to understand. The race to find the answers to the curse has begun, bringing more than just terror and a battle between friends for the same girl. But a Warlock with a dark past, a broken heart, and a vendetta brings with him a hurricane of truths. Words: 178420, Chapters: 23/23, Language: English Series: Part 2 of Trigon of Hearts Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Categories: F/F, F/M Characters: Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Adrian Pucey, Blaise Zabini, Ginny Weasley, Pansy Parkinson, Moaning Myrtle, Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Black Malfoy, Severus Snape, Horace Slughorn, Albus Dumbledore, Bellatrix Black Lestrange, Poppy Pomfrey, Astoria Greengrass, Vincent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle, Fenrir Greyback, Wilder Carrow Relationships: Hermione Granger/Blaise Zabini, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, Neville Longbottom/Adrian Pucey, Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy Additional Tags: Death Eater Draco Malfoy, Voldemort is Defeated in the First Wizarding War (Harry Potter), Eventual Romance, Fluff and Smut, Slow Build, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hermione Granger & Blaise Zabini Friendship, Cheating Ron Weasley, Explicit Sexual Content, Explicit Language, Explicit Consent, POV First Person, POV Alternating, Unplanned Pregnancy, Magical Pregnancy, POV Draco Malfoy, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Vaginal Sex, Sex, Dirty Thoughts, Dirty Talk, Potions Accident, Potions Class (Harry Potter), Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Sexual Fantasy, Public Sex, Good Slytherins, Gryffindor/Slytherin Inter-House Relationships, Slytherins Being Slytherins, Protective Slytherins, Angst and Humor, Sexual Humor, Fluff and Humor, Gryffindor vs. Slytherin Rivalry, Secret Relationship, Complicated Relationships, Romantic Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Slytherin Hermione Granger, Erotica, Threesome - F/M/M, Polyamory via AO3 works tagged 'Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy' https://ift.tt/dKQSa0l January 20, 2024 at 11:52PM

[blubushie]

monogamy vs polyamory for you personally?

favorite way to cuddle, if you like cuddles- no shame if not

What's your opinion on polyamory?

Poly is like cheating in my eyes, which is strange considering it's definitely not that since everyone's willing and happy in the relationship, but I can't shake the thought. And I recognise that I can have a mean jealous streak at times. I can get possessive. I don't share. This all means I'd be terrible in keeping a polyamorous relationship healthy. For me, it'd be doomed to fail.

Note that this is only for a committed relationship. If it's just a root like a threesome or something I don't care so much and I've done a threesome in the past. I suppose I could tolerate my partner maybe doing it for a short time because I'm not there, but over time I'd end up breaking off the relationship because all I could think about is how the other person is taking care of my partner the way I can't. I feel about poly the same way I do about toys--if you have me, what do you need them for? Except toys can't talk to you or hug you or whatever, and another person can, and I'm not there, the other person is and is providing a service I'm not able to, and I reckon I'd come to the conclusion that we're both better off going our ways instead of keeping up the relationship. Less pain involved for both parties, and there'd be a certain feeling of betrayal there that I don't think I could ever shake.

I know I engage here with some "fun" asks but it's different to me since on anon you all feel less like people and more like one collective hivemind chucking fun questions and comments at me. It doesn't feel personal like putting names and faces to it do. I've only ever been in two committed relationships, one involved long-term cheating by the other party that I didn't find out about until a lot later (and is what broke us up) and I guess when you're a hammer everything's a nail, ay?

I respect people who can make it work, but it's not for me.

Favourite way to cuddle?

I don't usually cuddle (eat, root, shoot, leave) but I reckon just lying on my back? When I'm sleeping in Matilda I'm often woken up in the middle of the night by Misty coming over and lying down against my side and resting her head on my chest and I put my arm around her and go back to sleep. That's comfortable and I like the closeness, so I reckon that'd work out fine.

[trinity-trouble]

basically I was wondering about what would count as polyam, if someone in an open relationship could consider themselves polyam or would they still be considered monogamous, and if all non monogamy could be labeled as polyam? like what if someone has one primary partner but wants to have sexual interactions with other people outside the relationship? I know polyamory doesn’t have to be romantic (queerplatonic and sexual), but could that be polyam? honestly what’s the point where it’s just casual sexual relations vs sexual relationships with no romance? and honestly how do u even know if you’d want to be non monogamous/polyam or if you’re just daydreaming about other people?

i'm answering all your questions but in a disordered, i hope better for understanding, way

what would count as polyam and if all non-monogamy could be labeled as polyam?

Wikipedia defines polyamory as "the practice of, or desire for, romantic relationships with more than one partner at the same time, with the informed consent of all partners involved" which is a fairly strict and good definition

about if it's the same as non-monogamy, i'd never thought about that ngl, but now i have an answer

searching about it, apparently polyamory is usually reserved to romantic relationships, and (ethical) non-monogamy applies also to sexual ones, which makes sense given the etymology of polyamory ('poly' "many" + 'amor' "love")

anyway, they are interchangable terms and you may found them used as full synonyms

if someone in an open relationship could consider themselves polyam or would they still be considered monogamous

taking into account that they are willing to share their partner and viceversa, yes, it would be polyamorous/non-monogamous

but don't confuse it, not all poly relationships are open

open relationships are, and i quote Wikipedia again, "where one or more parties have permision to be romantically or sexually involved with people outside the relationship"

a poly relationship, it's one (1) single relationship, yes, composed of other relationships that can take many shapes (V, throuple, quad, Z, network, etc), but whose partners may or not be able to be involved with people outside the relationship, for example:

*note that i created the graphic before answering the non-monogamy question, they are not necessarily romantic relationships

what if someone has one primary partner but wants to have sexual interactions with other people outside the relationship? I know polyamory doesn’t have to be romantic (queerplatonic and sexual), but could that be polyam?

if the primary partner is ok with that, that would make the relationship open (and therefore non-monogamous) but not polyamorous sensu stricto (as it's only for sex)

the relationship may be open for all parties or only to the one who want it, but be careful, usually one-sided open relationships are a sign of being abusive ones

what’s the point where it’s just casual sexual relations vs sexual relationships with no romance?

what's the point where it's friends with benefits vs sexual relationships with no friendship?

i know you ask about it in the context of an already existing open relationship, and if this relationship does is open both romantically and sexually, then any of them would be a possible secondary relationship of the partner

how do u even know if you’d want to be non monogamous/polyam or if you’re just daydreaming about other people?

i'm sure everyone has their different reasons, but for me, it's the fact that if my partner likes someone else or wants to have sex with other people (while still wanting to be with me), i think i don't have the right to forbid them of doing it, just of knowing about it

everyone has their different take on this, and mine is questionable at best; i'm prone against open relationships and having multiple different isolated relationships (though im kind of ok with cheating depending on circunstances) with the exception of close people to my partner (just close to them, not necessarily to me), because while i'm absolutely no jealous, i'm actually a really controlling person and i try to be on the knowing of everything i can

i also think about it, when it's in a romantic way, as a "if you, the person i like, like that person, then probably i would also like that person", maybe not in a romantic way too, but i would want to be friends with them

and finally, well, i'm a bit strange, because i'm also extremely comfortable being in a third wheel position (thus i prefer triangles), more so than a primary, because it gives me the tranquility of knowing that if i'm not there for them for whatever reason or if i mess up the other partners would still have each other

i hope these answers help you

anyway, maybe these other people (who have more experience than me) may help you too:

@polyamorousmood

the mods of @polyamships

and @polyadvice (i think is inactive, but has info on polyamory on their blog)

[vague-mintyboy]

Warning: no hate to op it just literally made me spiral about challengers.

I would love to talk about the tags

Bc I know it’s a joke but it kinda encapsulates my feelings about the reception of this movie.

Like I thought while watching Challengers that it was playing on the 80s trope of a women getting in the way of a homoerotic relationship bc Hollywood didn’t like the gays. But, the fact that it never actually was brave enough to act on the subtext makes it just another example of the trope, even if it is aware of it. Which is what this tag made me spiral about. Exactly— they didn’t even show anything. The kiss was literally unintentional which is good build up but like…that was it. It felt like an empty scene that doesn’t have any tangible repercussions. Like the kiss should have had a ripple effect across the film but nah. It’s just…left there.

I liked the movie. Everyone was hot, the camera work is genuinely jaw dropping, and I love messy, complex character studies (don’t get me started on ppl who exclusively hate on Art I stg). But it isn’t revolutionary for queer rep. It isn’t even good polyamory rep!! I’ve seen so many takes being like “finally a film where a love triangle ends up in the girl getting both guys”. NO. SHE CHEATS ON HER HUSBAND. I love when characters devolve and are complex, but no. She isn’t a girlboss with two boyfriends. Like it just straight up isn’t polyamory without communication. It isn’t even attempted polyamory. It’s just cheating. Which, again, the movie isn’t claiming it isn’t. I just hate the reception of it. Ugh.

But that’s the thing. You could cut Art and Patrick’s kiss and the own frame of bisexual tinder and nothing would change. That isn’t good queer rep. And I’m not saying to have good gay rep there needs to be happy endings or that you can’t have subtext, but goddamnit gay subtext to just make your movie edgy is so fkn 2010s. It did feel like the movie didn’t genuinely want to show a friendship that slowly becomes tainted by mutual pining and internalized homophobia. It just wants to use queerness as a garnish to comment on humanity or whatever. Which is not new. Fucking Gatsby did this.

The difference between real rep and not is resolution. Resolving the queerness doesn’t need to be positive or negative or whatever— it needs to be addressed. It just feels so dated to leave it to tumblr to directly call it gay.

I’m just tired of queerness being used as a motif vs a human fucking experience. It isn’t just decoration for your indie film it’s an entire identity and culture.

And I liked the movie!!! I genuinely did. I just don’t think it’s right to let Hollywood think that is good queer rep.

We're not talking about tennis. What the fuck else do I have to talk to you about?

CHALLENGERS (2024) dir. Luca Guadagnino