#poison is great

[cyanidesymphoniesxylophones]

Revisiting old concepts, HASO but aliens find out humans can be mithraditic, part two.

Landing on a planet is always fun for your resident poison checker, since he gets first dibs on EVERYTHING the crew finds or thinks is edible. Even if some things are edible, they might bring about a side effect unrelated to harmful poison, like mild paralysis or extreme gassiness.

Crews usually have one Axtor'aax, a biological furnace of a behemoth, to test if the foodstuffs are poisonous, but the SS Kalayaan has one cheeky Filipino and a handful of scientists monitoring his vitals to test for poison.

"Tell me again why we let the human eat poison as much as he wants?" Aaret, sighing from both their mouths, asks. "I mean, no offense to the other humans, but most of our sister crews know Xy simply as "The Human."

"Good, then they should know how hard it is to find an inert and nonvolatile mithraditic body composition that's acquired and not natural." Olivia Deusa snaps back, without looking up from her status board of her pesky crewmate. "Ready if you are, Xy. Start cooking up some grub."

"Don't mind if I do!" And as always, Xy snaps up the ingredients raw first, one by one, as he ponders on what to do with them, then in a flash Aaret would have thought to be exaggeration if they didn't see it first hand, sorted them into poisonous, toxic and edible. "Some of the toxic ones are edible, and this one is only mostly poisonous. The core is safe to eat once you boil it, I think. It has that jimmyweed taste."

"Hm, and what's your conclusion, Xy?" Olivia asks over the barking of data.

"We're on a garden planet for a more advanced palate. These flavors locked behind poison is a strange kind of irony, but give me two minutes and I'll have antitox for most of them."

"Most? Don't tell me..." Aaret palms his face with his multiple hands.

"Chill, Art. Most of these are like rotseed levels of toxic. Mostly. There's one I'm actively trying to fight right now. New experience to try and actually be immune to a poison that's stronger than my immunity."

"Your temp's rising, Xy, we have emergency stabilizers ready too."

"Fries, my sauce and a hug? Thanks, Liv."

"Shut it. This is only because you proved a point."

"Don't worry, I'll ask for the chef to cook y'all a pizza for stabilizing too." Xy winks at the human crew, who groans in collective cringe.

After the tests, Aaret finds the strange smaller human, chewing on one of the poisonous subjects absentmindedly. "Xy, if I may?"

"Shoot, Art, you've been meaning to ask that question for a long while."

"Uh. I'll go ahead and fire off then, why do you eat poison?"

"Anything is better than starving, Art. Pain of poison is temporary, but the pain of starving goes forever. I'm never truly full, so I eat everything." Xy says, a surprisingly somber tone awash over his voice. "Poison checker lets me eat anything and everything, and I get paid for it. Some of my money goes to a personal farm I have, where some of my friends grow non-poisonous variants of my favorite nutritious plants to feed hundreds, maybe thousands of starving kids." He smirks. "Most of it goes to paying back Liv and her potatoes, as well as more food, obviously."

"Huh." It's never east for Aaret to understand the humans, but now, for just a tiny smidge, he became closer with the strange hungry human.

HASO but aliens find out that some humans are mithraditic

Mithraditism, by definition and simplified, is immunity to poison.

"Aaret, have you seen my potato plants?" Human Olivia asked her alien crewmate, as she looked around the greenhouse.

"It seems human Xy has taken them a while ago and replaced then around sector E3 afterwards. Is something the matter?"

"There's a lot of matters. Those plants were flowering, and Xy likes eating the flowers."

"? Pardon, but aren't potatoes edible?"

"If you count the greeneries and the flowers as edible, you'd be as good as if you ate the rotsack seed fresh and undiluted."

"What?! Then shouldn't we stop--?!" Aaret was stopped by the sight of the Human Xy in question, walking in with a handful of fried flowers, and a platter of fried potato. "Made snacks. Want some?"

"Human Xy, you musn't ingest those flowers!" Aaret's voice coming out of their two mouths was rising due to concern. "They're highly toxic!"

"... So is your cuisine to normal humans, Aaret. Have I refused your food ever?" Xy chuckled.

"See, 'Ret, Xy can eat whatever he wants. He's mithraditic."

"What's that?! Some sort of... Genetic mutation that allows humans to just not be poisoned?!"

"Yes and no. It's eating enough poison to not be affected by it."

"WHAT?!" Aaret was shocked by very little things, but every new thing they learned about humans just took off the calm face they had.

"Remember the tha-kari you use to cook, Aaret? Why around a day or two's worth disappeared?"

"I-I chalked it up to vermin from my homeworld."

"Well, Xy's legally classified as a vermin from your homeworld then. That's why he was sick for half a day." Olivia sighed.

"Listen, new encounters, new food. And speaking of, eat up, Liv. I promise there's no funny business in the fries."

"You used up 5 of my plants to snack. I'm taking your next salary."

Aaret has never seen Xy distressed until his food money gets threatened. Humans are... Strange.

[pandadrake]

Okay future boy. They should hang out.

(Jefferson completely absorbing everything his Spider-man says is peak. Miles, all your dad wants is to listen to you. Water you doin'?)

[strawberrybyers]

being a slut and mentally ill means i’d do really well as a patient in arkham asylum

[marlynnofmany]

This is genius. Off to search the kitchen for new character names.

[jamjoob]

[new-revenant]

Joker is fully aware of the fourth wall. So he should be aware how outmatched he is along with other fic tropes, so...

Joker: OUTTA MY WAY! OUTTA MY WAY! CAN'T YOU SEE HE'S GOING TO KICK MY BUTT?! *points to Danny*

Danny: Hey there clown people, nice night we're having

Harley: So you like kicking butts, do ya little boy?

And later on

Danny: I love the clown people

Harley: How many times must I teach you this lesson, little boy?

augh, I can’t tell you how much I love this. No hate to any of the great fic writers here, but I’m more than a bit burned out on how the Joker is basically killed off all the time in dpxdc. Killing the Joker will not make Jason feel better, I’m sorry. And also I’d think the Joker would become a ghost and be 10000% more of a maniac. Anyways, enough of that, onto the ask.

The Joker takes one good look at Danny, one of the hostages, and immediately tells his men to free him. Looking at that half-ghost kid gives him the creeps. So now Danny has to stand(or sit if he wants, Joker knows people get tired ya know)in the corner that is furthest away from him, turned away so he can’t see Danny’s face.

And when the Bats come in, he barely pays attention to them, just keeps his eyes on Danny because he knows that he’s more of a threat than Batsy is. The Joker doesn’t even care about the other hostages anymore he just wants that kid gone.

Then his goons end up kidnapping Danny again and the Joker dies a bit inside. He would just shoot the dumb goons, but that stare Danny has(which looks and is completely normal)has the Joker quaking in his boots. And Danny keeps getting accidentally kidnapped, so the Joker just treats him really well, offering tea and stuff. Ugh, this would be such a good The Batman episode, just the Joker being super nice and friendly and scared of just this random guy. A random guy who turns out to be not so normal.

[eir-trixa]

Okay, this was probably already said before and I might be slow in this uptake but don't you think that Annabeth's fear of Percy controlling poison in HoH is less because she fears him using that against Akhlys or against her or anyone, but more on that she was getting flashbacks of Luke as Kronos and how the same kind of anger and unlimited power lead him to betray his family and leave her behind?

I think to see that same thing that happened to Luke happen to someone she loved as much as Percy was what triggered her. Cause she's already seen Percy harness so much power before, probably had the front seat to most of his feats. But seeing the same anger as Luke's - which Percy already admitted to having understood in MoA - and having been presented power great enough to allow him to get revenge was probably the combination that threw her off like... that's not Percy. If he continues to that same path she's gonna lose him, like she did her older brother.

[owlsie-hoot]

"All God's Creatures" parallels (1.7, 2.7 and 3.6)

[monsterhunterthings]

Which one of the listed Great/Dromes is your favorite? Use whatever you like to rank them: favorite punching bag, favorite roar, favorite armor, just pick ONE.

No nuance! Vote with your heart.

[the-name-was-lost]

Alien: There is no way you eat the tree lobe! that one is poisonous

Xy: wood ear mushroom? It's completely fine if you boil it... I like it in soup!

Haso post but about fungi, i feel like fungi exist in any planet, but only Terrans have breached the barrier of cuisine. Cue aliens panicking as their human crewmates eat the brown stalk button happily.

Alien: WHAT ARE YOU PUTTING IN YOUR MOUTH AGAIN XY

Human Xy: ... Shiitake chips?

Alien: Those are brown stalk buttons!!?

Xy: ... YOU HAVE SHIITAKE IN YOUR HOME PLANET.

Alien: Next thing you tell me you eat the dark rootsphere.

Xy: *pulling out a truffle* YOU HAVE TRUFFLES IN YOUR HOME PLANET.

Alien, visibly concerned why Xy is eating animal food: WHY DO YOU HAVE ROOTSPHERE ON YOUR PERSON

[melsun7]

Pov Thalia when she comes back to consciousness and the guy who was supposed to be her best friend turned to Kronos, committed numerous crimes (including POISONING HER TREE)

[hyydraworks]

Etsy drop today at 5pm ET!

Here's the final slew of friends that I'm always bad at posting ahead of time. A lot of love for the Parasaurolophus, hope you all like their little pack, and a big Quetzalcoatlus gets one too!

[ninadove]

Hello there.

[Slides elegantly into the tags]

Do you ever think about Emotion?

Of course you do. How could you not. But do you ever think about this exchange specifically:

“You’re not Adrien!”

Because Adrien is sweet, and forgiving, and kind. In fact, kindness is his defining quality — Marinette herself made sure of it:

“I’ll never tell another boy I love him before I know everything about him! Whether he’s kind or not, thoughtful, what he does outside of school and with who… I’ll know everything.”

But.

Do you ever think about Adrien’s development in S4 and especially S5?

Overtime, he has grown resentful of a system that exploits him relentlessly.

Of the people he gave countless chances to, only to be let down over and over again.

Of the web of lies and half-truths he constantly finds himself tangled into. A web that is only growing bigger, stickier, and trickier to escape.

And the Senticousins. Do you ever think about them?

Do you ever think about how they are each other’s reflection, identical and opposites all at once?

“When you bring a living being into this world, you have a responsibility towards them. Your duty is to protect them, love them, help them discover the true meaning of their existence. To deprive them of that… is monstruous.”

“To have a child is to help them blossom, to grow, to find themselves and to be free!”

Do you ever think about their opposite character arcs in S5 — one learning mercy and trust, the other developing a rage so strong it could destroy the world?

Do you ever think that if Felix can now have this exchange with his mum, and mean it:

“They’re all monsters!”

“Not all of them.”

Then there’s nothing stopping Adrien from saying this:

“Look closer, Marinette. They’re the monsters.”

[killjoy-prince]

House M.D. but it's when a character says the name of the episode

[juvian]

Nihilego, Codename : UB-01 Symbiont #0793

Do not repost!

[elspeth-catton]

[saltburn characters + text posts part 2 (but it's just felix being poisoned)]