#poi’s brain dump

[plague-of-insomnia]

I only this year discovered it’s “Eh-t-see” not “Ee-t-see” (Etsy), and hearing it pronounced the first way in commercials still sounds so wrong

[this-machine-runs-on-coffee]

"MEANT TO BE YOURS" (Trying to post again something I posted 11/12h ago because it doesn't show up in the tags I tagged it in for some reason) (deleted the og post because this one works) THIS IS NOT AN EXACT TRANSLATION, THIS IS AN ADAPTATION (tbh a simple translation would've been way easier to make) (5h or so after the OG repost of yesterday's adaptation from me of "Meant To Be Yours" I kind of made it a lil' better? The rhymes are more there now but around half of them are still shit and the syllables don't always fit)

So, I have two tests tomorrow in which I might get called but also not, the spoken ones (I'm not English forgive me for not knowing the word for it) So, obviously, I should be studying. So, guess what I've been doing! Studying? Nahh, that would be too productive and too good for my brain to decide "Yeah let's do it!". So, what did I do instead? I adapted Meant To Be Yours in Italian. I have many things I regret doing in my life and this is one of them. So anyway, here it is. ASK ME FOR PERMISSION BEFORE USING THIS, DO CREDIT ME IF YOU EVER USE THIS (I doubt you will it's impractical and still needs so much fixing it's unbelievable) AND TELL ME/LINK WHATEVER YOU USED IT FOR USING REBLOGS (because for some reason Tumblr doesn't like comments with links and while I do think I understand why I don't always like it) (the apostrophes [or however ' is called] are used to shorten the number of syllables often in poetry so I'm obviously abusing that power.)

[J.D., parlato] Tutt'è perdonato, piccola, forza su, vestiti. Vieni all'assemblea con me stasera! (cantato) M'hai piantato come tu fossi-Enea Per quello, dovresti morire Ma, ma, ma! Poi m'è venuta quest'idea E s'invece piantassimo la scuola? 'Sti stronzi son la soluzione Ti tengono a loro discrezione T'hanno accecata, la mente impestata Ma t'offro la liberazione

M'hai lasciato e son andato in pezzi Ho colpito il muro piangendo Bam, bam, bam! Ma hai rimesso insieme quei pezzi Tutte quelle verità liberando Quind'ho costruito una bomba Cosicché la scuola soccomba La loro maturità la si farà nell'oltretomba!

Destinato-ad esser tuo Destinati-ad esser'un soltanto Non arrenderti ora Finisci ciò ch'è iniziato Destinato-ad esser tuo

E quando la palestra farà "boom" grazie ai nostri botti Pow, pow, pow! Tra detriti della tomba Pianterem la nota che spiega perché son morti!

[J.D. & STUDENTI, parlato] Noi, gli studenti della Westerburg, moriremo I nostri corpi potranno finalmente raggiungere, a voi La vostra società crea schiavi ed empi, no grazie Firmato, gli Studenti della Westerburg Addio

[J.D.] Guarderemo'l fumo'ltrepassar le porte Porta marshmallows, li cuocerà la morte Sorrideremo e ci coccoleremo mentre il fuoco è forte

[J.D. & STUDENTI] Destinato-ad esser tuo Destinati-ad esser'un soltanto Non lo posso sopportare solo Finisci ciò ch'è iniziato Eri destinata-ad esser mia Son chi hai d'accompagnar Hai'nciso aperto'l mio cuore Non puoi lasciarmi a sanguinar

Veronica, apri la— apri la porta, ti prego Veronica, apri la porta Veronica, possiamo non litigar un'altra volta? Possiamo non litigar un'altra volta? Veronica, certo, hai paura, sono stato lì Posso liberare te Veronica, non farmi entrare lì, eh Conterò fino a tre! (parlato) Uno, due, fanculo!

[STUDENTI] Ah-ah-ah

[J.D., parlato] Oh mio Dio No! Veronica! (cantato) Per favore non lasciarmi solo Sei tutto ciò di cui mi fidavo Non posso farcela da solo

[JD & STUDENTI] Però, lo farò se devo!

[MAMMA DI VERONICA, parlato] Veronica, t'ho portato'no snack Veronica? Aaaghhh!

So, direct translation! (used in this to specify the meanings and explain certain word choices)

[J.D., spoken] All is forgiven, baby, come on, get dressed. You're my date for the assembly (substitute for pep rally, it was too long of a translation in Italian and apparently those two were similar, so) tonight! (sung) You dumped ("piantato" can mean that or planting plants or something else) me as if you were Aeneas (read the poem from that Virgilio guy, the one he wrote for the first Roman Emperor, Caesar's adoptive son, no not Brutus the other one, Octavian whose Emperor name was Augustus and look at the part where Aeneas leaves Dido. Guess school at times turns out to be useful) For that, you should die But, but, but! Then this idea came to me What if we planted (I understand, it sounds very vague but I played with the words and this kinda fit. Look at "piantato" earlier up) the school instead? Those assholes (or close to that meaning, motherfucker or bitches would work too probably) are the solution They keep you at their discretion (listen, it fit for the rhyme and kinda worked for the meaning) They blinded you, tainted (I said "impestato" of which I don't know the translation in English so I used google translate and it gave me "impeded" which wtf does it mean? But basically I wanted to say they basically acted like the plague on her thoughts if it makes sense? It should in Italian but if it doesn't, sorry, so anyway I put tainted) you But I offer you liberty (/freedom)

You left me and I fell apart I hit the wall crying Bam, bam, bam! But you put together those pieces Freeing all those truths So I built a bomb So that the school will succumb Their graduation will be done in the afterlife!

Meant to be yours Meant to be one only Don't give up now Finish what has been begun Meant to be yours

And when the gym goes (or more literally does) "boom" thanks to our fireworks (yeah uh, I call "botti" [booms but as a word or something similar I dunno] the "fuochi d'artificio" [fireworks], not sure how many people do that but forgive me I needed it for a lame rhyme [because the rhyme works but just barely and badly]) Pow, pow, pow! In the rubble of the tomb We'll plant the note that explains why they died!

[J.D. & STUDENTS, spoken] We, the students of Westerburg, will die Our bodies will finally arrive, to you Your society creates slaves and wicked, no thanks Signed, the Students of Westerburg ("But why is High missing?" Because we don't say High in italian [I think? I'm weirdly having doubts now]) Goodbye (at first I had put "Ciao", but after searching for "Meant To Be Yours in italiano" [Meant To Be Yours in Italian] I saw the word "Addio" in a video that was basically the translation and got the reminder it existed and worked way better so yeah I put that)

[J.D.] We'll watch the smoke pass (I'm unsure of how to translate "oltrepassare" but this kinda works too) the doors Bring marshmallows, death will cook them We'll smile and cuddle each other while the fire's strong

[J.D. & STUDENTS] Meant to be yours Meant to be one only I can't take (at first I'd put the take as do, also in Italian but thanks to the same video I changed it because it fit better) it alone Finish what has been begun You were meant to be mine I'm who you have to accompany You've carved open my heart You can't leave me to bleed

Veronica, open the— open the door, please Veronica, open the door Veronica, can we not fight once more? Can we not fight once more? Veronica, sure, you're scared, I've been there I can free you Veronica, don't make me come in there, eh I'm gonna count to three! (spoken) One, two, fuck it (or close to that meaning)!

[STUDENTS] Ah-ah-ah

[J.D., sung] Oh my God No! Veronica! (sung) Please don't leave me alone You're all I trusted I can't do it alone

[JD & STUDENTS] Still, I will if I'll have to!

[VERONICA'S MOM, spoken] Veronica, I brought you a snack Veronica? Aaaghhh! (The parts with the links to that video were added and changed like 3 hours after this was originally posted) OG LYRICS (if you're seeing this I doubt you don't know them, but here they are anyway):

[J.D., spoken] All is forgiven, baby, come on, get dressed. You're my date to the pep rally tonight! (sung) You chucked me out like I was trash For that, you should be dead But, but, but Then it hit me like a flash What if high school went away instead? Those assholes are the key They're keeping you away from me They made you blind, messed up your mind But I can set you free

You left me and I fell apart I punched the wall and cried Bam, bam, bam Then I found you changed my heart And set loose all that truthful shit inside And so I built a bomb Tonight our school is Vietnam Let's guarantee they never see their senior prom

I was meant to be yours We were meant to be one Don't give up on me now Finish what we've begun I was meant to be yours

So when the high school gym goes "boom" with everyone inside Pow, pow, pow In the rubble of their tomb We'll plant this note explaining why they died

[J.D. & STUDENTS, spoken] We, the students of Westerburg High will die Our burnt bodies may finally get through to you Your society churns out slaves and blanks, no thanks Signed, the Students of Westerburg High Goodbye

[J.D.] We'll watch the smoke pour out the doors Bring marshmallows, we'll make s'mores We can smile and cuddle while the fire roars

[J.D. & STUDENTS] I was meant to be yours We were meant to be one I can't make it alone Finish what we've begun You were meant to be mine I am all that you need You carved open my heart Can't just leave me to bleed

Veronica, open the— open the door, please Veronica, open the door Veronica, can we not fight anymore, please? Can we not fight anymore? Veronica, sure, you're scared, I've been there I can set you free Veronica, don't make me come in there I'm gonna count to three (spoken) One, two, fuck it!

[STUDENTS] Ah-ah-ah

[J.D., spoken] Oh my God No! Veronica! (sung) Please don't leave me alone You were all I could trust I can't do this alone

[JD & STUDENTS] Still, I will if I must

[VERONICA'S MOM, spoken] Veronica, I brought you a snack Veronica? Aaaghhh!

THIS WAS SO FUCKING PAINFUL TO MAKE

[nakanotamu]

Alright so I finished watching a Stardom show and I had a lot of thoughts about it and stuff I wanted to say and normally I would dump this all in my discord server but rn I'd feel weird about spamming this in there bc of brain reasons so tumblr gets it instead. So here are my probably needlessly long thoughts about Stardom's 2023.09.09 5 Star GP show from Korakuen Hall:

Alright so just right off the bat I'll say that this show was pretty packed (~1300 people) and the crowd was very hot and that... did nothing for me. Moments that make me feel very alienated from what is apparently the average wrestling fan, let me tell you. People make such a big deal out of loud active crowds and idk I mostly just found this one annoying. There's something about them being so audibly almost exclusively men that is really not fun. Rossy spent 10 years being so bad at appealing to women that I think it's fair to say it just wasn't a concern of his at any point, and Harada was absolutely gunning for a product in that same vein and it SUCKS. Oh my god it sucks. idk why it bothered me so much on this show, it's not like it's anything new, but it was really getting to me. I'm looking forward to getting to the show from, I think late November, when Kid specifically commented on how many women were there and seeing if it feels any different. Shout out to the one very loud woman who was a huge Komomo stan though, mood.

This show was originally billed as the Generational Struggle Part 3, the culmination of the Generational Struggle stuff from earlier in the Summer, a storyline that nobody ever understood and none of the wrestlers had any interest in, ultimately just completely dropped by the time this show actually happened, really emblematic of Harada's era of booking. I think this show stands out in a similar way, a peak of popularity and hype during a period where the quality was already starting to steeply decline, but before people had really noticed in numbers and before things had really cratered, with the wrestlers still mostly able to cover up the increasingly obvious holes. As such I think it's worth talking about as a shining example of this incredibly weird and bad period for Stardom.

Lady C & Hina vs Miyu Amasaki & Hanako - I like the sort of QQ vs QQ feeling to this match, but iirc it was one of those matches that were frequent at the time that had to be changed at the last minute bc someone was hurt or sick. So idk it was a fine opener though, no strong feelings but like it's the first match it's fine.

Mariah May & Waka Tsukiyama vs Mei Seira & Megan Bayne - Okay I hate to say it but Megan is kind of growing on me. I still think the way they brought her in was all wrong, and trying to push her for singles matches again later was still a mistake, but I do think she found a pretty entertaining niche in these less important tag matches. A lot of it is everyone else figuring out how to play off of her, and I don't really think it's a *good* thing when one wrestler warps an entire match around her every single time like she does, but in a match that's not all that important so there's less to detract from, yeah it's actually pretty fun. I just like seeing Mei Seira get thrown you know? Or when Mariah tries to knock her off the apron and she just doesn't move. It's annoying as hell when it gets her title shots, but in contexts like this, it's a pretty good bit.

Natsupoi & Yuna Mizumori vs Syuri & Saki Kashima - I'll talk more about it later but this whole undercard felt really disposable to me, which is always disappointing, especially given how much character Stardom packed into even their smaller matches before this period. Yunamon was in the middle of her joining CA story (still, somehow) and Poi and Syuri are always entertaining together, and they still are here with some fun spots and stuff, but I just didn't care. Like I said though, broader issues going on during this period so we do know why it was like that and I'll get to it later.

Mayu Iwatani, Koguma, & Momo Kohgo vs Natsuko Tora, Fukigen Death, & Rina - Again, perfectly servicable undercard match that doesn't really have anything fun or interesting going on under the hood, but we know why now so I'm not trying to like, criticize, just saying yeah wow it was bad huh. This was Komomo's second last match before she got injured iirc which is incredibly depressing, I don't think she even tagged in once during this match so she was probably already hurt and I hate it.

Mirai vs Saori Anou - God, okay, this match was kind of the one that made me think about typing up my thoughts about this show. I did not like this match anywhere near as much as I expected to. It just was not clicking for me, like, at all. This felt like a very clear "first time singles match", especially between two wrestlers who I guess don't really know each other outside of wrestling and haven't trained together or anything. There's a reason first time singles matches are rarely actually all that good and I really felt that awkwardness and lack of chemistry here. Mirai and Anou are both good so it was like, fine, but I was really taken out of it and unimpressed after I had assumed this would be really good. I do like Anou winning the white belt, and I do think Mirai's run needed to end bc it was not... working, but man I would not have devoted like Mirai's entire Fall to this feud after watching this match. Shining example of why you should put wrestlers together with people they want to work with and not just whichever names you think sound good against each other.

Hazuki vs Starlight Kid - This match on the other hand totally lived up to expectations. Hazuki and Kid obviously know each other super well and are both freaks, it was great. Brawling through the crowd always gives me kind of, idk, a sort of secondhand embarassment feeling? It just feels wrong my brain doesn't like it but I still appreciated what they were doing with it, with Kid angry and desperate and trying to prove herself more intense and bad than Hazuki. Hazuki always looks amazing getting tortured in submissions, and Kid's whole gameplan being trying to build to the Black Tiger Leg Killer makes sense. I couldn't actually remember who won this so I was even biting on the near falls at the end and liked Hazuki's quick, desperate win. They're both so great and I liked this a lot.

Tam Nakano vs Suzu Suzuki - This was like, the exact opposite of Mirai vs Anou to me. It still had a little bit of that first singles match awkwardness I think, but the amount you would expect given that's what it was, and they both brought enough to compensate for that. Tam really does have the same chemistry with "mini Giulia" as she does with the big sis herself and this match was really great for it. Again exactly opposite to Anou vs Mirai, this match totally would have left me excited for a title match program between these two - which ofc unfortunately never actually happened. I think the booking was incredibly stupid though, because of course it was, but why give Suzu the win over the champ to build to her winning the tournament and... earning a title match she already earned with this match? I guess there is the possibility that as people seem to believe Utami was meant to win and Suzu was an audible when Utami got hurt, which would make some sense booking wise. I still think Utami winning would have been extremely nonsensical from a story standpoint, but all the rest of Harada's booking was disjointed and very obviously ignored story too, so it would be consistent in that way at least. But anyway, I really enjoyed this match.

Giulia vs Maika - Wow, man, I liked this match so so much more than I was expecting to. Idk why it quite feels like this because I haven't skipped any of these shows, but if 2023 was the Maika starmaking year, this was the match where her popularity really felt like it exploded basically overnight. Like she was already liked, but this match out of nowhere was where it was suddenly like, oh my god Maika is SUPER popular, god damn. I think all of Giulia's singles matches have some holes, like, I wouldn't exactly say she is "good" at "selling" even at the best of times, but Maika is really good at compensating for her weaknesses, and most importantly the match really really excels at her strengths, namely intensity and homoeroticism. Given the things I've heard or seen I think this might be the last Giulia singles match I really enjoy, uh, either in her time in Stardom or possibly ever, but still if it does turn out that way for me, what a note to go out on. Really really fantastic, I thought this match was great, even if the story stuff and the booking around it was extremely inconsistent and stop and go with a whole Giulia vs Maika storyline they teased repeatedly and clearly wanted to do and never actually got to. At least they got to do this one.

Which I guess brings me to how weird this period of Stardom was. There have definitely been times I've wondered myself why I'm so dedicated to not skipping anything even when I don't exactly think it's fantastic, but I don't know, I still want to see what it was like, you know? I want to see what the wrestlers cared about even when there was no guarantee at all the booker would pay attention to any of it. There are definitely still good moments, even if there are a lot of bad and a lot of it is disjointed and weird around it. I just want to see it for myself.

I did improv in high school, and I remember after regionals one year we tried to do our regular weekly practice the next week, and it was terrible. Everyone was just creatively tapped and needed to recharge too badly, but we didn't realize that at first, and there was just this feeling of like, "we're doing the same things we always do, why isn't this working?" A lot of stuff from this period gives me the impression that that's how the wrestlers were feeling during this time.

The next show, on September 10th, was Dream Tag Fes, which seems to me to sort of be when this era of Stardom jumped the shark. (And I say that as someone who used to be way too much of a nerd about sitcoms and is extremely specific about what that term means.) The one last truly top to bottom great show for this era of Stardom, amidst some decline already starting to show, before the management issues and terrible schedule would become too much to ignore and they wouldn't be able to reach those heights again. I mean I think they're already on their way back up, I'm glad Harada has already been fired and Rossy being gone too is a bonus, but for this period at least. I might skip some stuff in the future, I know at least the Money Ball Scramble that was a mess where they didn't even run by the wrestlers what was in the boxes for sure, but I don't know, I still worry about missing out on the good stuff too, you know? That's my problem with wrestling, I'm so quick to tell others there's no actual obligation to watch everything, and yet I feel it myself. But even if it was another one that was all over the place, I'm still glad I watched this show.

[ladymcres]

brief disclaimer here, this is about build, so skip it if you find it uncomfortable

i waited a little bit before dumping whatever my brain is coming up with because yesterday was overall a hard day (real life shit happened) and i was not ready to face the eventual hate i could get for, you know, having opinions.

so, let’s start from the fact that i am not a perfect person, i do have flaws and for the same reason i do not expect perfection from anyone, neither from my close circle of friends/family nor from the people i happen to follow online.

that’s why what has been coming out in the last months - and yesterday specifically - is closure enough for me. i can’t even fathom how people can look at this whole situation and pick good and bad guys when it’s kinda obvious that they were in a relationship which turned to be pretty toxic and ended up in fire. what’s also true is that the allegations against build were indeed fake, (both the ones coming from netizens on twitter and the ones coming from poi) therefore he got his life ruined on the base of accusations that were never backed up from any evidence and were actually supported by fabricated pictures and blatant lies (making threads is not my thing, but this story is all over twitter if you’re interested) there’s also the fact that when push came to shove, he decided to take the whole thing on the legal route, while she decided that harassing him, his family (the whole thing against build’s sister was disgusting) and his fans was the right thing to do.

i’m not saying anybody should support him or turn into his fan, because i understand that we are all different and we perceive things differently, but refusing to acknowledge that in the beginning - and i put myself in there too - we were all blinded by prejudice and that the situation is now much clearer is hypocritical. I also believe that what happened to him is unfair and he deserves some sort of reparation for having his life ruined considering that things are clearly not going back to what they were before.

You do not need to be a build’s fan to see that poi lied from the beginning to the end and that as imperfect as build is, he was the one to be slandered and potentially abused. I mean, voice on the street (not confirmed from any parties, but you know, info like to leak) is that she will have to pay him a whole lot of money for this mess, which to me does not sound at all like settling, but rather admitting to a fault and deciding to pay up instead of facing more gruesome consequences.

I would also like to point out how the whole kp and bl fandoms are very much filled with double standards considering what’s been happening in the last week (and i’m not referring only to the whole gmmtv situation), but on the other hand i have hope that maybe people are starting to realize how dumb cancel culture (or fandom life the way it’s turning to be) is.

I hope Build can somehow get what he lost back and i hope he’s taking care of his mental health and, more than everything, i wish he’ll learn something from this experience. Just to be clear: this is a build-friendly blog. I won’t pretend i know him as a person, but i know him as an actor and artist and you know, 10 minutes of his acting left me gaping for a year now, so I will support any kind of project he may have in the future (i know chances of 4M happening are low but a girl can dream).

To conclude, please, do not send hate to people if you don’t like them, do not spread lies for clout, but practice kindness. There’s nothing to lose in that.

[insearchfor-poetry]

Intro?

Non io che apro questo blog perché possa essere il brain dump di cui ho bisogno, ma poi entro in trip su quale debba essere il primo post.

Il mio cervello vuole che sia ~un'introduzione coerente al blog~ , ~estetico~, ~accattivante~.

Però non ho la minima idea di cosa diventerà questo blog, quindi: - introduzione coerente? Greve, non credo la coerenza faccia parte di me, in generale proprio; - estetico? Boh, fatevi bastare la dashboard carina; - accattivante? Se non ho imparato ad esserlo in 24 anni di vita, tesa riuscire ad esserlo ora.

Quindi niente, there you go.

Comunque volevo dire che qualche giorno fa ho fatto la mia prima seduta dallo psicologo (d'ora in poi lo chiamerò psicoso, sappiatelo). Chissà che traumi scoprirò di avere. O magari non ne ho mai avuti e scopro che il non riuscire a funzionare in questo mondo è una mia qualità innata, sounds fun!

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here bestie, having enjoyed your morning salt. Tragically I'd call this one of the best episodes this season, thanks the Kyle, as always, setting everyone straight and focusing on what matters (who do you think is the heart of the show again writers?). Looking forward to more of your salty thoughts later, but as usual I'm here to provide RNM bullshit: science edition. So first off any well researched science points the episode might have had (it had none) are automatically null and void

due to Liz bringing back the cursed phrase "the science". I look forward to never having to hear that again when the show ends. Next, in the Liz and Max scene with the pods she mentions "Hawkins radiation" and "Lagrange multipliers" which are in fact real things. Sadly they have absolutely nothing to do with Liz's current resurrection research unless her plan was to detect and throw the dead frog into a black hole to bring it back to life (probably a plot the writers considered). Here's the thing writers, being a scientist doesn't grant you mystical in depth knowledge if every field in science. Liz is not an expert in general relativity because she has a degree in biochemistry (and after the "ionized proton" remark I have serious concerns about the chemistry part of that). Finally, the second Liz and Shivani talk. *me seeing the chemical structures on the whiteboard* "NO! BAD WRITERS!! You can't have an carbon partially unbonded like that!!" *me, all of 0.5 seconds later looking at Liz's tablet while hysterically laughing* "What the actual fuck is THAT!!" There so much wrong in those notes it would take minimum 10 asks to cover. Who's in charge of the science props of this show?  Please writers, put any freshman student taking chem 101 in charge and offer to buy them a pizza. They will do a better job in the time it takes them to eat it. As an aside, Liz and Shivani vaping poorly CGIed alien mist made me laugh. Enjoy my friend!!

Hi bestie! Sorry this took me so long to get to, but that reviewer wasn’t lying when she called this an energy vampire of a season and I just haven’t been able to bring myself to deal this week. I agree that out of this mess of a season, this has been one of the best episodes so far and it really is down to Kyle being back, dropping truth bombs on Max, snuggling into that hug with Isobel while deftly turning Michael’s comments aside and keeping Isobel’s confidence about what happened with them (not that Max and Michael won’t figure it out, but Kyle is so good at not being *totally* obvious unlike Michael who cannot hide his 🥺 face about Alex like, ever), and being THEE captain of the Malex ship and Michael’s cheerleader and refusing to let anyone give up on Alex. 100% the heart of this show.

I can’t wait for this show to be over if only so I never have to hear “The Science” ever again. Even Jeanine’s brilliance can’t save that line. At least she mentioned so real science things, but I’m with you on being confused on why she didn’t throw out some science babble from her related field, though I suppose the answer is “the mist made her brilliant about everything”. Though I thought it was implied it helped “free your thinking” to come up with out of the box ideas, not “implanted knowledge you never had directly into your brain” but it’s not like the writers know or care about how anything on this show, including the passage of time, how long it takes to get places, or how friendships work so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Honestly, I’m seriously doubting they bothered to hire a scientist consultant at all, but you’d think that googling terms and pictures of chemical structures would lead to them being at least a little right sometimes. But that’s also like saying that with the set up of a major main character like Alex being kidnapped they’d have to stumble on an emotional beat at some point, even accidentally, and it’s starting to feel purposeful that they haven’t. Was someone on the writing staff dumped by a scientist at some point and all this stuff is done purposefully wrong out of spite? Because BOY does this season feel like a lot of spite-writing for pretty much every character. Except for m*ria who supposedly ends the series getting “everything”, so we have that to look forward to 🙄

I can’t decide which is worse, another episode without a Malex reunion, or a Malex reunion directed by someone who called people’s genuine triggers about consent “noise” that they needed to shut up about. Fingers crossed whatever the reunion is and whenever we get it, that it’s entirely free of m*ria mentions, that  Vlamis and Tyler’s work to make it worth it comes through and isn’t trimmed down in editing, and that if it has to be in that god-awful blue filter, it’s at least not at the dead of night since the scene at the end of 4x10 was partially visible. 

Three more episodes until these characters do not belong to that joke of a writers room anymore.  

[throwing-summers-at-the-walls]

14, 18 and 30 for the fanfic asks?

Hi anon, thanks for the ask !

14: a fic you didn’t expect to write

Unintended. I wrote it directly on tumblr (a risky move knowing how glitchy this app can be 🤡) in like 1 or 2 hours, I don't remember exactly. That thing just happened out of nowhere, and given how fast I wrote it and what time it was (I finished it at 1am) I'm quite happy with how it turned out.

18: current numbers of wips

12 (+ an idea dump doc for wips that don't deserve their own docs). I didn't expect 12 tbh I think it's because I forgot about my drabble wips hidden in my drabble folder and I also have 2 fics that are somewhat abandoned.

30: favorite fandom to read fic from this year

Star trek voyager I think. I haven't been reading fanfics that much lately :( it's not that I don't want to, I actually miss it but idk I just find myself not going on AO3 as often as I used to... It's weird. Like I can't even say when was the last time I read a poi fic even though this show owns my brain

[maiuoart]

In your Ribba bio I saw you mentioned rabbit clans; stupid question: are the clans different species/types of rabbits? Like dwarf rabbits, Harlequin rabbits, etc?

There are Clans indeed, but you know what? I never thought anymore deeper than just ‘Yeah, theres different rabbit clans’… So, I will go with; Yes!!! There are similar types of breeds! Ribba would be classified as a Dwarf rabbit herself, seeing as she’s 4′2″~

However, as I’m looking through the whole Breeds of rabbits, seeing how there are a lot of different types; I’m going to just… Group similar types up in one Clan! I feel it’ll give the Clan more leverage, seeing as their used the most in the Underground for a lot of different reasons; Workers, Assistances, Scavengers, etc…

For now, I’ll give them ‘Filler’ names for their breeds and what they do, along with a list of what other Breed types one would find; Though they are Monsters, I can see them not being FULLY classified into these breeds when they get above ground as they would be highly different than their animal counterparts; But!! Still yet!!

Homunculus; Dwarf, Britannia Petite, Lionhead, English AngoraRibba’s clan is, ironically, more suited for becoming ‘Pet’ types in their world. For her family to survive, they are more or less working in either Poi/Muffets Brothel for their own protection or in the Scientist Labs as either Test Subjects or Assistants. 

Though they are also known as the type to become Scavengers the most between all the clans combined. One can be seen in Waterfall, collecting Echo Flowers for the Queen and other Rare items in the Dumps to pawn off to Venders as they are also naturally skilled for sneaking around. Out of all the Clans, these are classified as ‘Weaklings’ of the Rabbits.

    Ribba didn’t feel like any would be suitable for her, so she had worked her whole life to training, working with her Cousins who humored her and didn’t think she would be tough enough to make it to where she is now, what with her bright personality and small stature. 

It didn’t help she’s been blind for all her life, but she managed. :) A bright personality can get someone far in life; And she went up and beyond her families limitation despite all the wrong turns and twists.

Colossus; Flemish, Continental, Chinchilla.This clan are known to be the ‘Worker’ types. However, only a handful had made it to becoming in the Royal Guard while others work randomly around the Underground. You’ll have some forming pathways throughout the lands, others in Waterfall harvesting Crystals, digging Tunnels or reopening other places from cave-ins. They are your simple-minded, large, goliath types with claws of steel. Due to their nature, they are more prone to using their raw energy instead of any magical attacks; However, it doesn’t stop some who show immense skill to join the Royal Guard. 

     Out of the whole Clan, a rabbit known as Lesser is the Biggest, most Fierce looking Colossus known. Despite this, he is soft for his family, always listening to his younger Sister, Greater, for advice as they both make the best tag team in the Royal Guards. GR(Greater Rabbit), is known as the Runt of her Clan yet LR(Lesser Rabbit) is the Largest known yet.

They are modeled after the Rabbit Girl who walks her brother on the leash in the original Undertale. 

Personally I have not made names for GR, so feel free to make your own~ GR is what I like for placeholder, and hopefully in the future I can give her a better name! However, LR’s name is Cinnamon as he actually has a name in the Original Undertale! However, I could see it being shortened to ‘Mon’, ‘Cin’, hell even ‘Nan’. Or better yet; Lesser Mon in general. Gives the person hope they are indeed, a Lesser Monster; But instead, quite the opposite!

These are the two who taught Ribba stupid moves at first, GR thinking she would quit easily enough. However, LR would constantly keep her motivated and boosting her up when he could, which led GR to give better training to Ribba later when it was clear the little Dwarf rabbit wasn’t going to give up anytime soon.

GR and LR are the closest to Ribba besides her two sisters.

Madcaps; Harlequins, Himalayan, Silver Fox, CinnamonThese are the Clans that are very Hyperactive, intense momentum and insane with the most Magic ability. Some have split personalities which make them wonderful in the Royal Guard; Able to keep up with who to trust and not. Or outright being a very good Vendor. Others have the ability to Heal, making them the perfect ones who are kept in the Scientist Labs for safety. However, these guys are the Rarest of the Clan types; Some have found sanctuary within the Royalty however they can; Becoming Jesters, Guards, or what says you! Most will also make and create their own Potions of healing; Be Careful however! Get a Twofaced Harlequins and you might just end up with a Potion that does OPPOSITE instead of healing! 

     The Shop and Inn Keepers are in this category; However the Innkeeper is playing the role of Dogressa, while her partner is paired with the Rabbit Guy, not Nicecream Guy, but the one who watches Rabbit Girl walk her little brother on a leash in UT, plays Dogamy! I have no name yet for the two besides Rabmy & Rabessa; But, hey! Fun names?

As for the Shopkeeper, she is switched with the ‘Echo Flower Explainer’ and is one of the top hunters for such Rarity blooms. Normally is always the first to gain the Pink Echo’s, even going as far as trying to constantly plant new Echo flower seeds around in the same spot. If you’re curious of what different types of Echo Flowers there are, she’s the one to go to for all the Flower-type needs. Though she does have a few screws loose… Talking about Flowers; Only Flowers; Forever Flowers. 

InnKeeper, or as I just like to shorten her to Inn for this Swapfell world if I ain’t vibing with Rabessa, is quite literally the most Two Faced Rabbit in the clan. She is in high rankings in the Royal Guard; But she has extreme jealousy of Ribba who was quicker to obtain the Second Command title than she was. Though Inn will be very fond and loving to Ribba in front of everyone of her clan, respectable in their work zones; She has the need to disable Ribba anyway she can… However she can. Ribba, however, just thinks Inn loves her and vise versa; She can’t see the absolute hatred Inn has for her, and it only grates on Inn’s nerves more!

And there we have it! The Rabbit Clans! Thanks so much for asking, this really opened up my brain and I absolutely had a blast answering!!! I hope it makes sense and that you all enjoyed this-… Huge, long, Bunny-Talk! ♥

[lis-likes-fics]

Ragnarok Rant - Part One

Take off your socks and grab your crocs, it’s gonna be a wet ride.

We’re going to start out with 100 points and see where we end up by the end of this.

On Muspelheim First of all, Thor isn’t funny... or this smart. If he was caught, he’d just destroy the person who captured him and go on with his day like nothing ever happened. He wouldn’t be this logical and stick around, pretending to be bested so he could get answers. So, that -50 points from the score. Let’s see if we end up in the negatives by the end of this.

He is self-centered like this though, so I’ll give +10 points for accuracy. Again, he isn’t this funny. This scene shouldn’t exist because Thor wouldn’t have been caught in the first place. -15 points. Thor is too serious. If he saw a vision of Asgard falling to ruins, he wouldn’t be speaking like it was nothing. Like in Avengers: Age of Ultron, he would have taken the matter seriously and done what he thought would be ‘most logical’ in that pee-wee brain of his. He’s joking around too much and is out of character. -10 points. He is out of character and I actually prefer the brooding Thor over this one. The whole ‘’cause that’s what heros do’ line. Shouldn’t be there because he honestly isn’t as big a hero as others like to believe. -10 points.

The dragon, it’s the dragon. He would have killed the dragon as soon as he’d seen it. Thor would know how because he’d swing that hammer and that dragon wouldn’t stand a chance. So -10 points. So far we are at 15 points.

Skurge Loki is not an idiot, Taika. He would not hire Skurge as the new guard of the Bifrost. Loki would appoint this task to someone who shows to have a strong work ethic and who knows when it’s time to do his job and when it’s okay for him to chill out for a while. He wouldn’t choose an idiot who would use his job to gain the favoritism of the ladies. -50 points for screwing up Loki’s character. Skurge wouldn’t have to run to get to the palace because that’s just inconvenient. Loki would know Thor wouldn’t listen if he did just happen to pop in, so Skurge would have a horse so he could get to and from the palace. -20 points. We are now at -55 points.

Theatre Practice Okay, Loki is not self-centered like this. He may show off as being superior compared to everyone else because of his god title, but he would not write a play for himself. A statue, ofc he would build a statue. But a play is too much, even for him. And another thing. Why would he write into the play that he was a Frost Giant? He was raised to believe that the Jotuns were monsters that should be destroyed if they ever showed even a little bit of hostility. There may be a peace treaty between Jotunheim and Asgard, but that doesn’t mean that they are not still considered enemies. Loki would never disclose the information of him being a child of Jotunheim to the entire realm of Asgard. Ever. He’s too insecure about this fact to do so. -50 points for getting his character wrong.

Another thing, Loki ruled over Asgard peacefully for around two years. He has shown to be a great king and he is still unworthy of the throne? Yeah, right. He’s done a better job at being king than Odin and Thor combined. -20 points.

And the casting for the play. Is Taika even more of an idiot than I thought? Did he even watch Thor: The Dark World? Lady Sif and the Warriors Three were not on Svartalfheim. It was Jane, Thor, Loki, and Malekith and his army. -10 points for wrong information.

I will give points for Loki with his illusions to look like Odin saying ‘Oh, shit’. That was a funny joke and I will give that one to you. +10 points.

Here is some supporting evidence that Thor isn’t that smart. He’s just going to threaten, and possibly kill, his brother just because he’d done something with Odin. Nice job. Thor, you are only supporting my ranting about how you were a terrible brother. But that is for another time and there will be some of this in future sections of this rant. -50 points.

Another -50 points for threatening the life of Loki.

Thor, he did do what you asked, even if it was as Odin. You wanted independence, you didn’t want to rule over Asgard, so Loki left you alone. He didn’t do it to remain his cover either. As he’s said before. Loki never wanted to throne, he only ever wanted to be your equal. So when he leaves you alone like you wanted, you’re going to threaten his life because he ruled why you wouldn’t? Real smart, O Great God of Thunder. -30 points. We are currently at -225 points. You better hope Loki feels like being on his best behavior, that’s the only way you’re getting out of the negatives, Thor.

Midgardians and Sorcerers Here we are on Midgard. Shall I say it again? Loki is not an idiot. He would know better than to just stick Odin, the Former King of Asgard in a retirement home in Midgard. Against what I would have liked Loki to do, he respects Odin too much to put him at such lows. Yes, Odin was a terrible father, but Loki still tried to win his favor, to prove himself to the king. He had to have respected him at least a little bit to want to prove himself to him. -30 points.

Instead of being happy that his brother was alive and well and okay, Thor decides to be mad at him. Loki was presumed dead for two years and you find out he’s alive. The first thing you’re going to do after you had apparently ‘mourned’ him the whole time, is threaten him and emotionally and physically mistreat him? Yeah, I didn’t think so. -40 points.

I will give points for the ‘Jane dumped Thor’ thing. Mutual dumping? Yeah, right. She dumped you, Thor, and you know it. We all know it. It pleases me to know that Thor isn’t doing as well as he appears to be. +10 points. Loki’s reactions to the girls taking a picture with Thor is on point and I applaud you for getting his character right, even if it was just for a moment. Two claps and +10 points.

And Loki is right there. New York is always under attack, hell, the world is always under attack. The New York incident that happened 5 years ago is nothing compared to what they’ve been through and what they will go through. Most people would have learned to forgive and forget, so Loki would have gotten a picture or two in because, come on, look at him. Like those girls would have just passed by him like he wasn’t even there. -5 points.

Thor should know enough about Loki’s magic to know that his magic is green not gold. AS WELL AS HIS EYES THAT ARE GREEN AND NOT BLUE. THAT’S BULLSHIT! YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW THAT LOKI MATTERS, TAIKA. THE FANS ARE GONNA COME BEAT YOUR ASS. -20 points. And you were just climbing back up. Aw, too bad. I was being generous, too.

Loki is a great sorcerer who has been practicing magic for centuries. Compared to Dr. Strange who has been practicing magic for one year at the time, Loki beats him, by far. He would not have been falling for 30 minutes because he knows how to get out of situations like this. Think, Taika, think. -20 points.

And why tap the card if you think it’s Loki? Can I just say how dangerous that could have been, seeing as the umbrella is Mjolnir’s disguise. That could have injured Loki if it was actually him and Thor’s just going to tap him like that? -10 points.

I will say you did get character accuracy very close with Dr. Stephen Strange, so I will give you points on for it. Accuracy is key, Taika. Do you research and maybe you’d be able to nail it more often. +25 points.

Thor has killed more than Loki has. There were way less casualties caused by Loki in every movie he has been in than there were by Thor in Thor: Ragnarok alone. -10 points for accusing Loki of being a worst being than Thor.

Meddling with Thor’s hair gives you ten points because it is a sacred thing to him. Thank you for that. +10 points.

Ancient relics destroyed because Thor couldn’t just go to grab Mjolnir instead of summoning him. Have some respect, Thor. -10 points.

‘I have been falling for thirty minutes.’ I’m not doing it. Loki landed face first on the floor in a belly flop at who knows how many miles per hour. He’s lucky he’s a god because that fall would have been fatal otherwise. You’re also lucky you didn’t leave any bruises because that would have lost you more points than I’m about to take away. -40 points for making Loki seem like a lesser being.

Another thing with Loki. He would not immediately go to trying to kill Dr. Strange just because he had been falling for thirty minutes. He’s not impulsive and reckless. In fact, he probably would have applauded Dr. Strange for being able to hold him, the Great Loki, God of Mischief, for half an hour. Dr. Strange and Loki would not have immediately had that impression. So, Loki shouldn’t have his daggers out because that is not how he acts. That’s another forty points because Loki is not hostile like that. -40 points. That’s the end of this section. We are now at -425 points.

Odin I will applaud you on Norway. At least Taika knows enough to pick Norway as the place Odin dies. It shows that he knows something more about Norse Mythology than he has, as it is home of the vikings and, therefore, the Asgardians. +50 points for showing that you care at least a little bit about something seemingly small but big as this detail is.

Even with the mess up with Tom Hiddleston’s contacts, you did do well by Loki with his looks. He looks great, he’s acting as he would, and we fangirls appreciate what you did in this moment. +40 points.

Thor immediately believing Loki would make Odin act this way does not make me in the least bit pleased. Loki isn’t a menace and will never, ever, ever convince m that he is, no matter how much imaginary dirt Taika wants to throw in his face. -10 points because Thor is a gigantic oaf.

I will take it as a compliment when Odin told Loki that Frigga would have been proud of his strong magic. It helps to support that Loki is a very powerful sorcerer and he deserves to be told this, he needs to be told this more often. More compliments, more satisfied fans. +20 points.

So...Odin decides to die the one movie they actually need him? Could you yell terrible father for me? Thanks. -20 points for irresponsible parenting, making your children have to clean up a gigantic mess that you made.

This is a delicate matter that should be treated with the same level of delicacy. Odin tells his sons that he loves them. This is something you would expect if he were saying it to Thor, but to Loki, it is nowhere near right. By the way he has treated Loki through his entire life, it is clear that Odin does not love him. There is no evidence telling you that he does and the only way he could say this is by simply just saying this. There is no proof, no supporting evidence. Odin did not love Loki and for saying that he did is tempting me to take points. Loki’s reaction, however, is spot on. He does not know what love is and, therefore, reacts with such shock and surprise to hear that Odin claims to love him. It seems like one last manipulation Odin makes on Loki before he kicks the bucket and I do not appreciate it.

Let’s recap quickly over all the things done by Odin in the past movies. First, he raises Thor and Loki to believe that they are equals and will one day rule together as great kings, only to give the throne to a greedy and arrogant Thor and tell Loki, the more suitable king, that he is not worthy of the Throne of Asgard. When Loki learns of his true heritage, Odin tries to say that he was just trying to save an innocent child when, in fact, the only reason he saved Loki’s life that day was so have a bridge and a reason to finally make peace with the Jotuns. Odin goes into his Odin Sleep and it leaves the throne to Loki while Thor is banished. To prove himself, Loki tries to destroy Jotunheim and finish the job for Thor, having not been told or convinced that Jotunheim didn’t deserve to be destroyed. Again, Loki was raised to believe the Frost Giants were monsters who needed to be slayed, so destroying Jotunheim didn’t seem like a bad thing, especially when it was Thor doing the destroying. All Thor gets is a slap on the wrist while Loki gets disgraced for attempting it himself. At the end of Thor, when Loki ends up dangling from the Rainbow Bridge, only being held up by the sceptre Thor was holding to save his brother for once, he explains that he was only trying to prove himself as a good king, a good son. Odin decides to disown and disgrace Loki, pushing him to attempt suicide. When Loki is presumed dead for the first time, they throw a party in celebration of Thor and think no further of the Lost Prince of Asgard. That was just one movie.

In Thor: The Dark World, Loki is brought in for his crimes on Asgard after attempting to rule them all because he had been mind controlled by the Mad Titan, Thanos. Instead of questioning his son and giving him the benefit of a doubt, Odin decides to imprison the prince for life so he can rot in a cell and think about what he had done. This, in my opinion and possibly Loki’s as well, was a fate worse than death. While in the prison, Frigga dies and is not told by Odin, and is instead informed by a guard. Hm, something as personal as his beloved mother dying should be told to him by his father, instead by a guard. How wonderful. As a last ‘fuck you’ to Loki, Odin decides to tell him that he loves him. With everything I just explained, these are not actions of a father who loves his son. This is not right in the slightest bit and points will be taken. To show a little bit of mercy, I will be subtracting -70 points from the score.

The storm that rolls over them after Odin’s death is a good way to express Thor’s powers. I will give points for that. +10 points.

However, those points shall be taken for Thor’s immediate accusation at Loki. That is not how he should have done things. -10 points. The points are now at -415. Let’s see what will go on next.

Hela’s Arrival Loki’s change is nice and I love the outfit they have for him. His outfit on Sakaar shall be discussed further into the film. I would take points away from this because of the destruction caused by Thor’s lightning, but I’ll be generous and give the points. +20 points.

Hela’s whole look is amazing and very pleasing. I love how her colors are a nice tip of the hat to Norse Mythology where Hel is Loki’s daughter instead. Her look is wonderful. Her weapon choice and crown is another nice gesture to Loki. Knives and horns. +40 points for good costume choice.

Her kneel bit is also another wonderful choice and Loki’s response is even better. A nice load of points for giving these characters some nice touches. I can never get over this and it deserves the points I’m going to give. +50 points for a wonderful choice of dialogue.

I hate that Mjolnir was sadly destroyed but the idea of Hela still being worthy of him even after all the years since he originally belonged to her is a very good choice. I will not be taking points away for the destruction of Mjolnir, nor will I be giving points for Hela’s worthiness.

Thanks for Loki’s hair flip. +10 points. :)

Loki is not a coward! If he saw that there was danger, he wouldn’t immediately flee. He is self-preservative, not cowardly. It was a reckless choice to have Loki want to return to Asgard to get away from Hela. He would think of all of his options and choose the one that would be the most smart and safe. He wouldn’t risk putting his people in harm’s way by having Skurge bring them back to Asgard, he would find another solution where he and Thor lived and they escaped Hela’s clutches. This was out of character. Taika really thinks Loki’s a coward and he isn’t. He is intelligent and brave. If he ever ran from a fight, it was because he knew he would lose and he needed to find better resources to be able to fight back. He would not run and hide like a baby. He is not a baby. There will be points taken away for making Loki seem a way he isn’t. -40 points. I’m being generous.

That will conclude Part One of my Ragnarok Rant. I will be back soon to continue so that we can see where these points will go.

Starting Point: 100

Total Number of Points Given: +295

Total Number of Points Taken: -750

Total Number of Points: -335

To Be Continued...

[fatherofmachine-a]

OOC;  Also,  by the way,  while I’ve been REALLY struggling with my health messing with my ability to write  &  socialize  &  use my brain properly,  I need y’all to know that I am .... aggressively  thorough about Everything.  While roleplaying is absolutely  a hobby for me,  a part of it being a fun hobby for me is weird shit like taking the time to study  &  get the general gist of exactly how algorithms work.  

It’s researching how a honeypot hack works,  it’s learning the tiny technological Easter eggs in POI like the meaning behind Root’s name  &  the reason why Harold is so adverse to using it most of the time,  it’s taking time to watch TED talks about artificial intelligence  &  figuring out how Deep Learning works  &  what it means.  When I love something or when I’m PASSIONATE about something,  I need  to learn every single tiny detail about it or I just might Die (  which is a very strong exaggeration,  but still  ).  

I’m just REALLY intense  &  thorough  &  detailed  &  if that’s not your thing,  then we’re likely not gonna jive very well.  I get low-key embarrassed  &  self conscious about it sometimes  &  when I feel that awkward,  uninterested vibe every nerve in my entire body is BEGGING me to quietly detach myself.  I know  that it’s Not a good thing to do  &  I’m really  working on trying to curve that but FUCK.  It’s physically painful to Not do it sometimes.  I’m truly really  sorry about that.  

BUT ANYWAY .... I just felt like this was a pretty necessary PSA for this blog because .... Hello This Weird  &  Sometimes Very Obnoxious Excessive Detail Hoarding / Dumping Thing Is A Core Part Of My Personality lmao.

[youhearstatic]

Candlenights

It’s the first Candlenights after Story and Song... Happy Candlenights, @pixel-lightart, hope this fits what you were looking for! And thanks to @kravalicious for organizing! Happy Candlenights, everyone!

Candlenights wasn’t something that Kravitz had participated in often. He was reasonably certain there had been celebrations when he was alive but they were dim and foggy memories like much of his life. But once he died, once he took employ with the Raven Queen? Candlenights was just a background event when nabbing a bounty, a reason said bounty tried to argue for amnesty.

He’d been in the Raven Queen’s service too long to hold those memories. Over time, details from his days as one of the living had slipped away or been discarded. Even when you are no longer alive and your memories aren’t subject to the workings of a physical brain, if you don’t access those memories they become harder to reach. Sometimes this is accidental: the name of his aunt’s dog was gone, then the fact that she had a dog, until eventually he forgot he had an aunt.

Music stayed but only because he continued to listen to music. His long ago aspirations to become a conductor stuck with him because he’d unconsciously find himself directing a particularly moving piece of music. He’d imagine how a piece would sound if he emphasized the violin section more. A recording of a concerto would become painful because he couldn’t stop hearing the delicate flute notes were slightly off tempo. That awareness held the memory.

So much else had vanished from his memory though. Candlenights, family, eating? Gone.

But sometimes memories come back.

Or you make fresh ones. Learn them anew.

It sounds charming, doesn’t it? It conjures images of smiling people, warm group around a fireplace while snow gathers outside the window. Or maybe that’s just the impression he’d gotten from two weeks of holiday movies with Taako. His boyfriend was a sucker for them. He’d start off making fun of the couples in the matching hideous sweaters. He’d boo and throw popcorn at the screen, make fun of the earnestness and sincerity. But by the end of the movie he’d invariably be tucked up tight against Kravitz, sniffling and blaming the cats for ‘allergies.’

So Candlenights with Taako’s weird accumulated family? Kravitz had probably developed some rather off target expectations. Understandable but then again, he’d met these people. He’d spent plenty of time around Magnus and Merle. He knew Lup, Barry, and Angus really well by now. Ren had been over for dinner at least a dozen times.

After a long night wrapping presents - and watching more of those holiday movies - they’d gone to bed with snow falling outside and a pile of beautifully wrapped gifts waiting to be hauled to Merle’s for the celebration.

When they woke up the snowdrifts had moved indoors. The cats, it seemed, didn’t appreciate wrapped boxes. Fragments of paper and ribbon and boxes and gifts are scattered over three rooms. They’ve destroyed the macarons, shredded lovingly chosen sweaters, and puked on the handmade quilt Taako had chosen for Ren to go in her new place. Pages from the books they’d chosen for Barry were scattered over the broken set of incredibly rare cooking spices Taako had picked out for Lup.

Even the selection of unusual wood - chunks of yellowy Butterwood, a delicately burled section of Purpleflame and a large piece of gleaming silver Ironheart intended for Magnus to challenging his carving skills - show distinct marks from claws and teeth. They can still give it all to him, of course. Likely his dogs have done worse and the damage would all be carved away.

But Taako takes one look, turns around, and goes back to bed.

“Just gonna sleep through, Krav. Get up next year and dump the whole mess on Susan’s doorstep. All her fault anyway. She ruined out cats, Kravitz. They never would have done this if they hadn’t picked up this kind of behavior from her.”

“Love, she’s fed the cats twice. How could she teach them…”

“I told you before! She scratched my favorite pan and ate the bananas I was saving for banana bread. No respect for belongings and they learn by example. Besides, you were dreading it. Now we don’t have to go.”

And okay, he had a bit of a point there. On both counts.

Still, they could clean up the mess, pull out the stone of farspeech and male a few calls, get a couple stores open and stock up on baskets of gourmet coffee or fancy chocolates, gift cards for anyone not interested in either of those things. But they don't want to bother some poor retail worker on Candlenights just because their cats chose to be a bunch of assholes.

It takes some doing to convince Taako to get up, get dressed, and go see his family empty-handed. Kravitz is pretty sure the thing that makes the difference is when he points out that Taako can blame the whole thing on Susan.

It doesn’t help that the beautiful drifts of snow that had been all but promised when they went to sleep had turned into a muddy slush as the weather turned unexpectedly warm. The ugly candlenights sweaters Taako had planned for them to wear had been ditched for lighter options. (For Taako this means a loosely tailored white shirt with artfully rumpled ruffles at the throat and sleeves that make him look like a debauched pirate. For Kravitz it means his typical suit.)

They arrive late. Taako had insisted on baking something first. Kravitz watches his boyfriend sweep in with a tray full of chocolate crumble coffee cake, already launching into the story of Candlenights cat destruction they’d awoken to.

Kravitz slips into the background. It’s not a big space and there’s not a lot of people here. But Kravitz has had hundreds of years experience slipping into the shadows. He’s no longer even aware that he does it. He’s still not use to social situations, not use to so many people around when he’s not in work mode. Taako’s enormous extended adopted family is sometimes overwhelming.

“Hey, Kravitz.”

He turns, sees Barry. The other reaper is standing holding two bottles of something hooked in his fingers and balanced under a plate of snacks.

“You looking to hide out already?”

“What? No, I…” he looks around and turns a bit guilty when he realizes what he’s been doing, skulking in the shadows. “Maybe a little,” he admits.

“Come on back here with us,” Barry says, moving towards a hall. “Just Lup and I back here.”

Kravitz looks over his shoulder and sees Taako holding court, sees Merle’s son running from his sister, crumbs and sprinkles trailing behind him as he crams an entire handful of cookies in his mouth.

“Sure.” And he follows.

Lup is in the study Merle has set up for Davenport to use whenever he is in town. Cap’n’port never stays in one place for long these days. It sounds like a good deal and she feels a little jealous.

He’d come to see them before he left, stopped to see everyone before setting sail. Her body hadn’t been ready yet and for a moment she’d been overwhelmed with the terrible thought that she’d never get to hug him, that something would happen to him before she saw him again. Barry had whispered to her, talked her through it. He’d had a lot of experience with rogue emotions in lich form in those lonely years.

She’s had a body for a few months now but it still whallops her sometimes, her years alone, Taako’s years alone, Barry’s years alone. They’re safe now. Happy. Together. But sometimes she gets thinking about how easy it would have been to never find each other again. Never have Taako know her, never have a body, never hug her family, never kiss her husband...

Like tonight, she’d been looking forward to this get together for weeks but then today she’d woken up feeling somehow bruised and nervous, not up to the large gathering at all. But Barry, bless him, had gotten them set up back here, the best compromise between coming and not coming.

Barry slips in with drinks and food for them and Kravitz in tow.

“Hey, Kravitz was hiding out so I invited him back.”

She appreciates the note of question in his voice, checking that she’s okay with it. She smiles at him, and winks to let him know it’s fine.

“It’s a lot, isn’t it?”

Kravitz smiles, looking nervous. It’s disarming how different he is when he drops his work persona. She wonders if there’s a third Kravitz that only Taako sees.

“Oh, if Taako’s here, did you grab any of his macarons?”

“They didn’t make it. We had a….cat-tastrophe.”

“Aw, dunk. I was looking forward to those.”

“You know Taako would make those for you anytime.”

“And I could make them myself, but party macarons are different. Half the fun is keeping them from someone else.”

Kravitz snorts a laugh and Lup grins, pleased.

By the time Taako comes hunting them, Lup is curled up beside Barry on the love seat and Kravitz has unbuttoned his jacket and vest, put up his feet on the low stool in front of the slightly undersized chair he’s set up in. They’re just chatting low and relaxed. Barry and Lup never get enough of Kravitz’s work stories and Kravitz is still getting accustomed to telling them.

Taako drapes himself across his boyfriend and sighs. “You guys missed all the drama.”

“That was kinda the point,” Barry says, rubbing his hand over Lup’s arm.

Lup stretches and shifts, snuggling in on Barry who unconsciously adjusts to help her get more comfortable. Across from them, Kravitz moves to help Taako settle in better. They adjust to one another wordlessly until he settles back against Kravitz’s chest. Kravitz toys idly with Taako’s hair and listens to his boyfriend describe the shenanigans that Mookie had gotten up to.

“Keep Mookie away from our cats, then,” Kravitz teases when Taako finishes. “Susan’s got nothing on him.”

“You speak the truth, bone man.”

The four of them sit together, companionably chatting between the four of them or quieter between each couple.

In the fireplace, the fire has nearly died out. Outside, the warm snap has disappeared and thick fluffy snowflakes have begun to fall. Kravitz nudges Taako and points at the window. Taako smiles and lets his eyes drift closed.

Kravitz has just begun to imagine this is the final scene in one of those holiday movies. It’s warm and pleasant and after hundreds of years on his own, forgetting life and gatherings and celebrations, he’s here with the man he loves warm in his arms and a new family that has adopted him.

The door opens and Merle comes in. He looks a bit like Santa with his full white beard and his red shirt, providing you don’t look too closely at the eyepatch, the wooden arm, or the bright pink birds patterned across the shirt. But he does come bearing gifts, though they’re in a beaten up cardboard box instead of a fancy red velvet sack.

“Dav sent everyone a little something,” he says as he pulls out little cloth bags and hands one to each of them. Then he pulls out his own and sits on the hearth to open it.

Kravitz is surprised to be included. He’s only met their Captain a couple times, barely exchanged a handful of words with him.

Each of them have the same thing - a small, hand sized bottle of liquor, each with a handwritten tag hanging from the neck.

On Kravitz’s, the note reads: “Have a drink and remember to feel alive. Even if you technically aren’t. Cheers, Davenport”

He tucks the bottle into his coat pocket, feeling oddly touched.

Beside Barry, Lup reads her note from the Captain. “Should you ever need a bit of space, there will always be room on my boat. Joyfully yours, Davenport”

Both Kravitz and Lup, two people who hadn’t felt like they belonged here on this Candlenights, suddenly realize there’s no where they belong more.

Merle turns and pokes the fire, stirring a bit of life back into the remaining embers. Then he leans against the brick, eyes drifting closed as he soaks in the heat. “You kids are welcome to stay as long as you want,” he tells them. “But I’m gonna head up to bed... “ he shifts, angling his back to warm the other side, “...in just a few… maybe.”

“You want to head home, Lup?” Barry asks.

She runs her hand over Barry’s denim clad leg. “Not just yet, babe.” She aims half closed eyes across to her brother and Kravitz and tilts up her chin. “You guys leaving?”

“Krav?” Taako asks, twisting his neck to look up at his boyfriend.

“I’m in no rush,” Kravitz says, shaking his head.

It’s nice here. With family.

[madeinpop]

Made In PoP™ ǁ eventi Rock in Veneto dal 28 Febbraio al 6 Marzo 2019 ǁ stagione 16 ǁ

Ciao Made-In-PoPpers, siamo agli sgoccioli, se avete una band, se siete cantautor*, iscrivetevi alle selezione dell' AREZZO WAVE Love Festival per il VENETO. https://www.arezzowave.com/concorso-arezzo-wave-band-2019/ CHECcO & LoRIS «Sostenete la Musica, Andate ai Concerti» ► Made In PoP segnala ◄ ᴥᴥᴥ SABATO 2 MARZO ᴥᴥᴥ VINILE Club via Capitano Alessio 92 ROSÀ (Vi) ᴥᴥᴥ LAST NITE Party torna e sgancia la bomba ospitando sul palco del Vinile i grandiosi DOWNTOWN BOYS (garage/punk/HC da Providence-RI- su SUBPOP Records) + i nostri bellissimi BRUUNO post-hardcore. dopo djset folgoranti e spaccaginocchia con CASTE / ORDINARY NOISE / CHECcO MERDeZ (LAMETTE). https://www.facebook.com/events/361818257729861/ ► SETTIMANA ◄ ► GIOVEDÌ 28 Febbraio ᴥ CA'SANA Cibo Arte Cultura via SS. 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con due acustici: JOE KEDDA e gli ARCANA OPERA. ᴥ KRACH Club via Madonna 3 MONASTIER (Tv) dalle 19 aperitivo con presentazione nuovo disco per GLINCOLTI (Go DOwn Records) rock progressive ed acido, in apertura ROCKERS's GUITAR. ᴥ Osteria AL CASTELLO via Rossi A. 15 CHIUPPANO (Vi) dalle 19 aperitivo con i giovani genovesi SAAM emo/posthardcore. ᴥ CA'SANA Cibo Arte Cultura via SS. 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[root--is--alive]

Root  /  Shaw  |  sedative vs. chokehold

I rewatched The Devil You Know, and got curious about a few things. So I did some research on strangling and instant sedation. Below the cut is some information on both. I’ve also touched the topic of breath play; and added some headcanons, referring to the scene above. 

At first I’d like to write about the second picture. 

Before informing myself, I believed that Shaw is choking Root. After some research, I tend to believe she is not necessarily choking Root, but strangling her (which is a hypernym of choking).  

Choke / choking: obstruction in upper airway (x, x)

Chokehold: grappling hold, reduces/prevents either air (air choke) or blood (blood choke) from passing through the neck of an opponent (x, x)

Strangulation: act of pressure around the neck with enough force to impede respiration or circulation (x), interferes with normal flow of oxygen into the brain

Strangulation can involve:

compression of veins/arteries in the neck -> decreased/no blood flow to brain -> no oxygen supply for brain, so called brain ischemia

compression of laryngopharynx/larynx/trachea -> abnormal breathing ->  severely deficient supply of oxygen to the body (choking), so called asphyxia 

stimulation of carotid sinus reflex -> slow heartrate, low blood pressure -> fainting (can also be caused by a slap/strike; Root used it on Dr Ronald Carmichael in s3 ep03 Lady Killer [x])

(x)

Strangulation can lead to serious injuries (petechiae, soft tissue haemorrhage, laryngeal fractures), and death (x). Unconsciousness occurs after about 10 seconds when the blood flow is restricted, and after 3 minutes when breathing is resricted (x). 

In The Devil You Know, Shaw is strangling Root. 

Shaw has been strangling opponents before. I remember her applying a rear choke (s3 ep10 The Devil’s Share), strangling someone with her legs (triangle choke) (s3 ep23 Deus Ex Machina), strangling a Samaritan nurse (s5 ep08 Reassortment), and Leon (there’s only a bruise on his neck shown) (s2 ep16 Relevance). Referring to the first two occasions, the opponent passed out after a few seconds, which means Shaw restricted the blood flow to their brain. The nurse didn’t pass out, so Shaw might have been only choking her. Leon stated that Shaw almost killed him, so she might have applied a blood choke. I think in s4 ep09 it’s assumable that Shaw is restricting the bloodflow to Root’s brain, as well, which would give Root about 10 seconds until she passes out. 

Had the drug Root injected Shaw with not worked instantly, Root would have passed out first, and Shaw would have created some distance between her and Root until she would have fainted. I’ll look further at this, but at first I want to come back to strangling. 

I’ve read some fanfics were Root and Shaw engange in breath play. This refers to interfering the normal oxygen supply provided to the body or brain, in order to create or further sexual arousal. It can be done in several ways: 

1. Restricting the blood flow to the brain by pressing the blood vessels in the neck (asphyxia play) either

manually (with the hands)

or by using a ligature (belt, chord, etc.)

2. Interfering with normal breathing by

placing an object over one’s mouth/nose (hand, bag, gag, etc)

telling one to hold their breath or breath differently (which can lead to hyperventilation, where the carbon dioxide in the blood is decreased, which leads to dizziness, tingling sensations, and one may faint if the abnormal breathing pattern is kept up)

Breath play, especially asphyxia play and restricting breath intake with an object or hands, is not safe, as it can severely damage, or kill the submissive partner. 

“There is no medically valid way to know exactly when an individual will become unconscious. … when someone loses consciousness it is not an end, it is merely a symptom, ranging from mere oxygen depletion to cardiac arrest”. 

Pressure on the neck can damage the blood vessels and airway, too. It’s recommended to take part in material arts classes that teach how to strangle someone without injuring or killing them, before engaging in breath play. Furthermore, a safe sign is very important, rather than a safe word, because the submissive partner is probably not able to speak. For further information, read here: x, x).

Back to Root and Shaw. Since Shaw has got special training, she knows how to strangle someone, so her strangling Root involves fewer risks. Now for the fanfics: restricting the blood flow to the brain can only be done for a few seconds; and compressing the airways usually hurts and leads to teary eyes and coughing.

Finally, I’d like to come to the first picture.   

Root has been drugging people through injections quite often, and it has been done to her, too, in s4 ep21 Asylum.

There are drugs that can cause unconsciousness in less than a minute. However, they must be injected into an artery or a vein. Preferably into a vein because:

an atery is harder to penetrate

if injected into an artery it takes longer to reach the brain

if done wrongly, it can bleed very much

(x) 

Given that one can’t pinpoint the exact location of the blood vessels by just looking, it’s very unlikely to hit them, especially when the victim won’t hold still (like stabbing someone in the neck while they are standing). That means that this practice in Poi is not really portrayed in a realistic way. There are other ways to knock someone out instantly, though:

a hit/punch to the head, which is called a mild traumatic brain injury (concussion); this occurs when the brain hits the bone of the skull, it is usually achieved by a punch behind the ear or to the jaw, and doesn’t necessarily require much strength (x)

a general anaesthetic injected into a vein, or a voltile anaesthetic which is breathed in

a chokehold (restricting the blood flow to the brain)

stimulation of carotid sinus reflex

When someone has lost consciousness, they must be closely monitored, because they have lost their protective reflexes (e.g. coughing reflex); they must be placed in coma position, and might need to be ventilated (like Root in s5 ep02 SNAFU). (x) 

That means that Root probably never applied a general anaestetic, but a sedative (a sedative doesn’t cause unconsciousness), and tied her victims up and gagged them to prevent them from moving/escaping, etc.  

Since Root is not quite physically strong, not specially trained, and prefers to use guns, syringes, tasers and stun guns, I don’t think she usually would knock her victims unconscious or apply a chokehold (except when it comes to Martine?). Root actually prefers to catch her victims through psychological methods. Even though, she used material arts techniques a couple of times: in s4 ep13 M.I.A, she twisted Chief Wicker’s wrist when he groped her, and knocked him out shortly after; furthermore she fought with Martine in s4 ep19 Search and Destroy and in s4 ep21 Asylum; and she kicked Jeff Blackwell in s5 ep05 ShotSeeker. It wasn’t displayed how she knocked out Chief Wick, however, her fights with Martine were shown. Root probably learned self defense techniques when she was younger, and Shaw might have taught her a bit in hand-to-hand combat; however, she could never reach Martine’s years of training and experience. I think Root managed to stay on top of Martine because she was furious, angry, scared, and desperate.

“Under acute stress, the body’s sympathetic nervous system prepares the body for sustained, vigorous action. The adrenal gland dumps cortisol and adrenaline into the blood stream. Blood pressure surges and the heart races, delivering oxygen and energy to the muscles. It’s the biological equivalent of opening the throttle of an engine.”

“You don’t feel the ache of your muscles. You don’t feel the pain. You just do what needs to be done.”

(x)

Considering Chief Wick, I imagine Root did it like I describe below (maybe without the sedative?).

I like to headcanon that Root, when she wants to knock someone out or sedate them, uses a taser or a stun gun first. They drop to the ground. (But don’t lose consciousness - check out this post for more information). After this, Root might hurt them a bit. Then she restrains them enough to access a vein for an injection of a sedative. Afterwards, she drags them to wherever she wants them to be, ties them up properly, etc. 

Now back to The Devil You Know. 

I headcanon that Root incapacitated Shaw by using a taser or a stun gun. As soon as Shaw was on the ground, Root quickly zip tied Shaw, or only one arm at first. Beforehand, she might have gotten everything Shaw could use as a weapon out of Shaw’s reach. Then she injected a sedative. Depending on how much Shaw struggled, Root might not have hit a vein, which means it would take longer for the sedative to work (intramuscular injections take longer to work, it can range from 3 to 15 minutes or longer) (x, x).

Shaw might have been able to strangle Root, depending on how fast Root could tie Shaw up after tasing/stunning her. However, I’m sure Shaw would have strangled Root until she was unconscious. That means Root must have applied a sedative quickly as soon as Shaw was tied up enough for Root to be able to inject her. Staying close to the episode, I imagine Root tied only one arm of Shaw while restraining the other arm with her body weight, tased/stunned Shaw again, and managed to inject her into a vein. Then Shaw strangled Root until Root was unconscious. The sedative would work quickly, Shaw would become sleepy, Root would regain consciousness and immobilize Shaw properly. 

In The Devil You Know, Shaw appears to be unconscious in the subway. If Root had applied a general anaesthetic, perhaps after sedating Shaw, Shaw must have been monitored while being unconscious (so Root perhaps had to order an ambulance?). Or she guided a sedated, sleepy, zip tied Shaw through NYC, maybe with the help of John, and they used a general anaesthetic on Shaw when they arrived at the subway. Or John came to pick up Root and Shaw, knocked Shaw unconscious and brought her to the subway. 

I tend to headcanon that the boys picked them up, John knocked Shaw out, put her into the car, Harold or Lionel drove, Root and John checked on Shaw, they brought her to the subway and cuffed her there. 

Anyway, Shaw would be furious as hell. Tased/stunned, zip tied, sedated, knocked out. 

[stopsubstanceabuse1-blog]

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Eu

Sempre quis escrever algo grande. Não precisa ser profundo, ou inteligente, ou novo. Só precisa ser grande. Escrever um monte de coisa, fazer um brain dump violento mas relativamente bem organizado. Talvez, pelo menos, um pouco bom de ler.

Nesse momento estou me sentindo meio mal, meio estranho. Não estou me sentindo confortável, no entanto, pra falar sobre os motivos de estar me sentindo assim. Então vou fazer uma série de reviravoltas nesse texto para rodear o meu problema sem falar sobre o meu problema.

Uma das regras que tenho para este texto é que ele seja sincero. Mas ser sincero não é a mesma coisa que ser detalhista.

Já faz um bom tempo que não escrevo...

Quando comecei a escrever, adolescente, havia uma criatividade misturada com uma sensação de descoberta e de fazer algo legal ou novo. Acho que posso dizer em nome da maioria dos ex-adolescentes que nessa idade é mais fácil ser criativo, porque os sentimentos são novos e porque o conhecimento do que já existe é pequeno.

Conforme fui ficando mais velho, passei por algumas fases. Por um tempo, escrevi sobre coisas mais práticas e menos instropectivas. Depois fui pra uma vibe mais filosófica, ou até um pouco "messiânica", falando sobre a vida, as coisas, o futuro. Quando percebi que minhas filosofias eram incompletas ou falhas, passei a escrever sobre mim e sobre a experiência da minha vida, já que dessa forma eu nunca estaria escrevendo algo inválido. Acontece que a minha vida não é tão legal assim, então esses textos muitas vezes não tinham graça nem propósito. Por fim, mais recentemente, passei a misturar um pouco as coisas, escrevendo desde o absolutamente aleatório, passando por reflexões mais sérias, até "sútras" e outros mini-textos baseados em insights.

Depois disso, parei de escrever e passei a me concentrar em aspectos da vida que pessoas de mais de 30 anos costumam se concentrar. Basicamente: dinheiro e poder.

Acho que quando você "descobre" realmente o que significa dinheiro e poder (especialmente poder), isso passa a ter uma relevância muito maior na sua vida. E talvez haja uma correlação no fato de pessoas com mais de 30 passarem a se interessar por essas coisas, já que nessa idade já deu pra extirpar a maior parte das inocências, já deu pra sentir os mais variados tipos de dores (e possivelmente prazeres), e já deu pra entender que esse período aqui na Terra é curto e frágil. Às vezes a vida até parece longa, mas na real se você tirar todo o tempo de bullshits, acaba sobrando pouca coisa.

Engraçado, essa semana era pra ser uma semana focada em saúde (uma das coisas que também ganha uma maior prioridade depois dos 30). Eu não ia beber, não ia comer carne, e iria andar de bicicleta alguns dias. Talvez até correr também. E agora, que fiquei triste, a primeira coisa que eu fiz foi abrir meu baú de bebidas (outra coisa que parece que só aparece depois dos 30), e peguei meu bom e velho Underberg. Pra quem não conhece, é um "extrato de ervas aromáticas", bastante alcoólico, bastante escuro. Tem um gosto amargo, e parece combinar perfeitamente com as horas "amargas" da minha vida. A não ser que exista algum tipo de "saúde" nessas ervas, o propósito dessa semana se desconfigurou profundamente.

Estou sim com vontade de tomar algumas ações no sentido de aliviar o que estou sentindo. Uma das opções seria me comunicar melhor e tentar "resolver" algumas incoerências e até possíveis enganos nas palavras de outra pessoa. Talvez falando melhor o que eu senti, criando um "canal de empatia", ou talvez ovelhamente pedindo desculpas e sendo dócil e tranquilo. Outra opção é beber, conforme já estou fazendo, e uma terceira seria ir dormir e ver se amanhã a cabeça está um pouco mais limpa. A quarta é escrever retardadamente, parágrafo após parágrafo, até que hipoteticamente a cabeça se esvazie e uma paz budista/hinduísta baseada em vacuidade e o-que-vem-além talvez surja. Às vezes acontece, normalmente não.

Normalmente ou eu fico bêbado demais e atinjo assim o meu "pseudo estado de gnose".

Agora, começo a sentir os primeiros efeitos do álcool. O primeiro efeito é engraçado, porque provavelmente ainda não deu tempo do meu organismo processar qualquer coisa, mas já existe aquela tonteirinha que me faz parar e ficar retardadamente olhando pra um objeto qualquer, ou aquele pensamento que toma conta e me faz dar risada sozinho. E pensar que isso ainda pode ir bem longe hoje… Enfim, vamos para o segundo Underberg. A garrafa já estava meio vazia, o que significa que o segundo também é o último, mas, fear not (!), existe um baú completo, que com certeza não vai se acabar hoje.

Me sinto um pouco invadido por uma sensação de vergonha, talvez por ter dedicado um parágrafo inteiro ao álcool. Aquela culpa talvez, de ter a consciência que estou tentando "resolver" (ou mais obviamente, postergar) um problema com uma bebida. Aquele clássico comportamento alcoólatra (bebendo sozinho em casa pra afogar as mágoas). Mas posso parar quando eu quiser, claro ;-)

Existe um quadro aqui na parede, sabe aqueles quadros que estão a vida inteira na sua casa e você nunca reparou direito? Por sinal, vale uma reflexão sobre todas as coisas tão importantes que estão na nossa frente e que deixamos passar todos os dias. Aí quando as percebemos, as chamamos de "sinais", "sincronicidades", "deus", etc. Enfim, o quadro. Uma bela sincronicidade. Uma daquelas cidadezinhas de litoral, com as casas todas meio "arruinadas" pela maresia, areia no chão… E bem no meio da rua entre as casas, um cachorro. Preto. Sem olhos, sem boca. Quase uma mancha preta.

A noite do Black Dog. Ele veio me visitar, afinal. As portas estão abertas. Entre e sente aqui ao meu lado.

A casa está muito silenciosa. Estou sozinho. Ouço lá no telhado o som da caixa d'água se enchendo. Parece com aqueles sons que você ouve quando encosta a cabeça na barriga de alguém. Eu gosto. Ficar aqui sozinho é ao mesmo tempo doloroso, por causa das circunstâncias da minha tristeza, e ao mesmo tempo prazeroso, porque aqui está o Meu Domínio. Foda-se tudo.

Ontem tive um momento de reflexão compartilhada na qual estava tentando compartilhar uma sensação triste que tenho. Uma coisa ruim que me faz desviar das soluções, que me faz olhar para o lado e para baixo, que me faz fazer qualquer outra coisa. E a imagem que apareceu na minha cabeça, inédita, mas não por isso inválida, foi de uma grande nuvem negra com espinhos. Ela me envolvia, mas não me encostava. Só que os menores movimentos me fariam tocá-la, e sentir dor. Acho que é uma representação quase perfeita desse momento. Qualquer ação, agora, vai doer.

Agora já sinto maiores efeitos. Qualquer droga tomada em silêncio é potencializada. Qualquer coisa que tenha a atenção de alguém é potencializada. Atenção potencializa qualquer coisa. Menos minha cognição. E agora vem aquela velha sensação de que tudo que estou fazendo agora, e escrevendo aqui, está uma bosta. Mas vou jogar isso lá longe. Vai voltar, mas enquanto isso posso falar sobre outras coisas.

Uma outra sensação que vem me acompanhando nas últimas horas é a de esperança. É engraçado, eu sei. Esperança que aconteça uma coisa muito, mas muito legal, que eu gostaria que acontecesse. Uma coisa extremamente egoísta, baseada puramente no meu prazer pessoal, que me traria "vitória" e poder sobre essa situação. Só de pensar nisso já me sinto melhor, e até mais sóbrio. O problema é que não vai acontecer, haha...

Existe um outro quadro aqui, de um índio, olhando bem nos meus olhos. Ele está sorrindo, numa mistura de alegria sincera com cumplicidade com os meus pensamentos. Ele tem uma pequena mecha de cabelos brancos, um pouco maior do que a minha. Isso me fez pensar em duas coisas. Primeiro, é claro, nos meus cabelos brancos, e segundo nos índios (e em um contato que terei com eles em breve e que me faz ter medo de piadas ou qualquer tipo de julgamento… a palavra é "respeito"). Mas vamos focar nos cabelos brancos.

Esses tempos eu li que pessoas em situação de stress extremo podem ficar rapidamente com cabelos brancos. Partindo disso foi fácil concluir que pessoas com mais de 30 anos que tem cabelos brancos, talvez excluindo algum tipo de fator genético, tem, talvez, em cada um desses cabelos, uma história de algum tipo de bosta da vida. É engraçado porque pareço algum tipo de "sábio pretensioso experiente cheio de pseudo-sabedoria", mas a real é que já tem mesmo algumas histórias aqui dentro. E mesmo que elas não tenham nada de extra-ordinário (com hífen mesmo), como provavelmente a maior parte das histórias da minha geração não tenham mesmo, elas tem sim relevância, pois elas me definem.

Definem a pessoa imperfeita que sou. E talvez isso seja libertador? Caralho, já fiz tanta coisa… A gente sabe que a experiência humana é limitada (embora envolta numa ilusão de "sem limites"). É engraçado… O sentido da vida já passou por uma série de variações para mim. Já passei por aquela pira de "o sentido da vida é evoluir", ou então "o sentido da vida é aprender o sentido da vida", ou então aquela pira mais niilista de "não existe sentido pra porra nenhuma e por isso preciso amar cada momento" (que por sinal é uma ideia tesão pra caralho), até uma coisa mais simples do tipo "o sentido da vida é ter experiências". E agora meio que matei isso. Porque a experiência humana é limitada. Eu posso fazer as coisas mais loucas e inimagináveis, mas (1) provavelmente alguém já fez (o que exclui o "argumento" do pioneirismo), ou (2) mesmo que eu seja um "pioneiro", grande coisa (?), e mesmo que eu faça as coisas que a maioria das pessoas também faz…

E meu sentido morre aqui. Primeiro porque falar em sentido é um erro que eu deveria ter evitado uns parágrafos atrás… deveria ter falado em propósito, talvez.

Enfim, experiências. O que temos além delas? Uma vontade de sobreviver? Uma vontade de segurança, e talvez a partir disso, uma vontade de controle? É estranho escrever essas coisas, e ser invadido em minhas memórias por experiências, desde dirigir de moto num campo de futebol, até ouvir um cara tocando violão e fumar maconha num albergue do Camboja. E agora aqui, numa casa na Barreirinha, em Curitiba, no Paraná, no Brasil, América do Sul, Planeta Terra, Sistema Solar, Via Láctea...

Papo de bêbado. Espero que você esteja pelo menos um pouco bêbado ao ler isso, senão vai ficar sem graça pra caralho. Vou fazer uma pausa para abrir o meu baú.

(...)

Stolichnaya. Essa é uma vodca (vodka?) que acho boa pra caralho. Dentro dos meus limites de apreciação, é uma das melhores vodkas que já tomei. A melhor foi a Zubrowka, uma vodka que nunca esqueci o nome, apesar de ter tomado apenas uma vez. Ela vem embalada num "pelego", e tem o "toque" de um pedaço de uma planta que parece uma grama comprida dentro dela. Descia que nem água… Enfim, vamos ficar na Stolichnaya, que já está bótimo…

...

Sério, muito boa.

Onde continua a vida, agora? Eu gostei dessa coisa de olhar os objetos à minha volta e ter algum tipo de insight pretensioso. O próximo são as flores aqui do meu lado. São lindas. Mas estão precisando de água. E ontem eu estava pensando nisso. Mas não dei água. E isso me faz lembrar de todas as coisas que precisam de água, que precisam ser regadas na minha vida, porque senão, começam a ficar meio feias e descuidadas. Talvez a vida seja, afinal, como um jardim. Se você não faz nada, começa a crescer um monte de mato, e tudo acaba virando uma massa "uniforme" de mediocridade e normalidade.

Quão normal, sou eu, agora, escrevendo essa merda e tomando vodka de gente "privilegiada" no meu Macbook? É… Se você achou que aqui existia um "artista boêmico" escrevendo num guardanapo, só lamento.

Ouço os roncos do meu cachorro dormindo, e me sinto um idiota escrevendo coisas irrelevantes. A minha esperança é que surjam pequenas faíscas que me permitam completar cada um desses parágrafos com uma mensagem minimamente útil. Putz, eu falei mesmo isso? Útil? É isso que quero? Ser útil? É isso que todos querem? Seria "ser útil" o sentido (ou melhor, o propósito) da vida? Esses tempos li uma espécie de auto-biografia do Einstein, onde ele dizia que a gente já nasce em dívida com a sociedade. Ainal, logo ao nascer, já somos amparados por uma estrutura de médicos, hospitais, e mães bem-informadas (pelo menos num contexto de classe média de país semi-desenvolvido).

Eu acho esse pensamento bem legal. O único problema é que eu praticamente não me sinto em dívida com quase ninguém. Ou seja, ele não me atinge como deveria, talvez.

E aí vem o silêncio, e com ele meu Acufeno, outra coisa que deve surgir depois dos 30, especialmente pra pessoas que ouvem música alta. E me sinto retardado, já bêbado, já preocupado de estar descontextualizando essa porra toda, e pensando que talvez já haja palavrões demais, e pensando que talvez seja hora de dar um ponto final enquanto ainda existe algum tipo de lucidez…

A esperança. Volte lá em cima, não vou explicar de novo. Ela está aqui ainda. Bem que poderia acontecer exatamente aquilo que eu queria… Mas no fundo, agora, a minha vontade maior é a de destruir. Não preciso quebrar a minha casa, não preciso jogar copos na parede. Cada pensamento meu se fragmentando, como aquelas peças de Lego, mas, de forma mais "poética", como num caleidoscópio em rotação contínua… Destruir todas essas ideias.

Uma vez que tomei ácido, depois de todas aquelas horas de visões e experiências e desconstruções de ideias, lá no final, na décima hora, enxerguei pequenos bloquinhos, deslizando, se juntando, contruindo blocos maiores… A realidade toda, talvez, voltando a existir como era, naquela forma simbólica… Foi belo, foi importante para mim.

Como esse texto todo é egoísta… E me sinto culpado por ser egoísta, mas qual é mesmo a minha culpa?

E agora, sinto cada batida do meu coração. Antes já sentia, mas agora, com aquela força que parece algo que quer ser percebido. Eu te percebo. Você aí, dentro de mim, sendo o que você precisa ser, sendo o que me faz continuar aqui...

Meus olhos vão se fechando. Compreendo e assimilo que não posso mais. Que é hora de encerrar. Que ninguém mais deve estar lendo até aqui. Que o meu "texto enorme" lá do começo, talvez esteja limitado pelo meu cansaço, pela minha tristeza, pelos Underbergs e Stolichnayas, pela minha juventude que se vai, por aquilo que se espera de mim e que não represento, pelas dores e prazeres.. Vão se fechando, porque o cansaço é maior do que tudo.

Dormir.

E, claro, menor do que eu queria, mas muito maior que o necessário.

-- Eu

[madeinpop]

Made In PoP > eventi Rock in Veneto > settimana dal 26 Gennaio al 1° Febbraio 2017 > stagione 14

Ciao Ciao Made-In-PoPpers, la solita, febbricitante, lista di eventi Rock in Veneto. LoRIS & CHECcO

«Sostenete la Musica, Andate ai Concerti»

► evento Made In PoP ◄ ▲ SABATO 28 GENNAIO 2017 ▲ ▲ GROOVE Bar up your life ! via Martiri della Libertà LUGO di Vicenza (Vi) super fstone per i due anni di apertura del locale, ci sarà il concerto potente dei mitici e grandiosi PAY irriverente punkrock che presentano qui il loro nuovo disco. dopo i concerti scuotimenti di ginocchia e fianchi con il djset della rossa SARA BEAUFORT e CHECcO MERDeZ (Made In PoP). https://www.facebook.com/events/1902610836634370/  

► La SETTIMANA ◄

► GIOVEDÌ 26 GENNAIO 2017 ▲ VECCHIA CENEDA Osteria via del Fante 37 VITTORIO Veneto (Tv) in acustico sarà qui l'ottimo cantautore ANDREA CARBONI da Pisa con il suo rock anti-pop. ▲ MAME Club via Frà Paolo Sarpi 48 PADOVA stasera sarà protagonista, sul palco del club patavino, la band del momento, gli ironici POP_X ela loro indie-tronica. ▲ OPIFICIO 67 via Ghebba 67 ORIAGO di Mira (Ve) dalle 19 aperitivo con l'esordio del duo rock/soul acustico The BRIDGING POINT, con alla voce la bravissima ELENA. ▲ AI BILIARDI calle dello Spezier 1253 ponte delle Guglie Canareggio VENEZIA dalle 21 troverete qui il grande Giovanni FERRARIO ALLIACE che presenta il suo nuovo disco "Place, Names, Nunmber". ▲ BOCCIODROMO via A.Rossi 198 VICENZA tra rock e cantautorato si muove lo svedese, ma italiano d'adozione, RICHARD LINDGREN accompagnato dai Mandolin'Brothers. ▲ POMOPERO Osteria Creativa via Castelletto 84 BREGANZE (Vi) pop tra pionierismo e cntemporaneo per NICOLAS MICHAUX cantante chitarrista belga. ▲ TERZO PONTE via Ceramica 7 BASSANO del Grappa (Vi) sarà qui il bassista heavy/hard rock blues MARCO MENDOZA con la sua band hard/blues/white funk. ▲ JACK the RIPPER pub via Nuova 9 RONCÀ (Vr) classico appuntamento con il concerto dei BULLFROG blues/hardrock. ▲ MALACARNE BarAssociazione via S.Vitale 14 VERONA ospite qeusta sera il superbo MAURIZIO ABATE chitarrista autodidatta e sperimentatore folkrock.

► VENERDÌ 27 GENNAIO 2017 ▲ Circolo QUADRO piazza F.Facchetti 18 CITTADELLA (Pd) sonorità folk di ricerca per il grande artista MAURIZIO ABATE e il rogetto HEART OF SNAKE (Vincenzo Marando/Movie Star Junkies). ▲ IMBARAZZO via Villabozza 24 VIGODARZERE (Pd) in acustico sarà qui l'ottimo cantautore ANDREA CARBONI da Pisa con il suo rock anti-pop. ▲ BISTROCK Pub via Rometta 13 San MARTINO di Lupari (Pd) il rock blues dei BACKDOOR MEN. ▲ RICKY’s Pub via Commerciale 12 ABBAZIA PISANI di Villa del Conte (Pd) stasera qui i RED INN capitanati dal mitico Red Bertoldini, big/rock/hard. ▲ GOTO STORTO via Villanova 8 TREBASELEGHE (Pd) suoneranno qui due importanti band locali BLOODY MILLIONAIRE genuino alt/rock e I GIONNIS rock ironico e divertente. ▲ MAME Club via Frà Paolo Sarpi 48 PADOVA ParkLife party che festeggia a modo proprio Trainspotting 2 con i concerti degli esordienti FANCY VICES e i noti SUPERNOVA + SOUNDPARK djset con lu MABY. ▲ BLOOM Club via Terraglione 84 VIGODARZERE (Pd) Oblivion Fest con le band ASTRAL PATH prog/post/death/Milano HORDER thrash/seath/Treviso e FORKLIFT ELEVATOR groove/metal/Padova. ▲ IMBARCADERO via Alzaia di Cendon SILEA (Tv) the Rock Buzz propone una serata con due band indipendenti The STRAIGHT EDGE rock/hard/alt e i FROGGY FOG FLUID alt/indie/rock. ▲ EDEN Cafè via XV Luglio TREVISO concerto in acustico e in siolitaria per il bravissimo cantautore ULISSE SCHIAVO. ▲ OUTSIDER Pub via San Cassiano 72 QUINTO di Treviso (Tv) tornano qui i cantastorie da osteria DO'STORIESKI. ▲ MORION Laboratorio Occupato salizada S.Francesco della Vigna Castello VENEZIA stasera dalla Romagna IL DUO BUCOLICO cantautorato illogico. ▲ LA MESA Nuovo Circolo via L.Da Vinci 54 MONTECCHIO Maggiore (Vi) tornano in zona con il loro travolgente garage/punk/psych i MAGIC CIGARETTES (Tn) + djset Ale Riptapes. ▲ BOCCIODROMO via A.Rossi 198 VICENZA stasera dalla Sicilia i simpaticissimi BACIAMOLEMANI orchestra tropicale tra ritmi in levare e musica popolare. ▲ TERZO PONTE via Ceramica 7 BASSANO del Grappa (Vi) propone un miscuglio tra jazz e rock'n'roll, viene da Londra e fu fondatore dei Dead Brothers, sarà qui PIERRE OMER e la sua swing band. ▲ BROTHERS the Bar via Olimpia GREZZANA (Vr) torna a far visita qui per un concerto The MATT PROJECT featuring JURY. ▲ IL BLOCCO Music Hall via Monte Pastello 4 San GIOVANNI LUPATOTO (Vr) serata glam rock con i FALLEN ANGELS e i CUTTER BLADE. ▲ IL TRENTA feelgood bar via XXX Maggio 21 PESCHIERA del Garda (Vr) indiepop folk lo-fi con il duo femminile IN-VERSIONE CLOTINSKY. ▲ Club IL GIARDINO via Cao del Prà 82 LUGAGNANO di Sona (Vr) due realtà della scena locale che sono EX e MIRAGE, per loro rock di sperimentazione. ▲ Colorificio KROEN via Pacinotti 19 Zai VERONA serata Get Wild dedicata al rock&roll in tutte le sue forme, stasera suoneranno i grandissimi BARBACANS (garagepunk/PU) assieme agli ottimi HAKAN (punk'n'roll/Bergamo) + djset Ale RIPTAPES.

► SABATO 28 GENNAIO 2017 ▲ Teatro POLIVALENTE via Donati 1 ABANO Terme (Pd) ore 21 in collaborazione con Otto Eventi e Materiale Resisitente va in scena l'opera Rock "E Venne il Buio" concepita dalla band MAIEUTICA con interprete Chiara Flower Masin e corpo di danza. ▲ BAHNHOF LIVE via Sant'Antonio 34 MONTAGNANA (Pd) la CVR booking organizza Do Not Go Gently #3 con le band metallose/HC The END at the BEGINNING + BOREAL + AS A CONCEIT. ▲ BIOS LAB via Brigata Padova 5 PADOVA stasera qui il nuovo progetto solista di Andrea DAVI (Mamuthones) ORANGE CAR CRASH che live diventa sestetto, ethno-psychedelia. ▲ Bar AE ROSE via Battisti MARSANGO di Campo San Martino (Pd) serata live con i local TRECHIODI stoner/prog/noise e i milanesi The WEAKEST BABOONS power trio turbofolk. ▲ GREENWICH Pub via Sant'Andrea 48 CURTAROLO (Pd) suoneranno qui due band del circuito indipendente, TWO BIRDS ONE STONED rock/heavy blues da Treviso e i local NUBIFRAGILI alt/rock/postgrunge. ▲ BLACK LOTUS Pub via Cardinal Agostini 109 San MARTINO di Lupari (Pd) in giro a promuovere il loro recente album "Connections" si esibranno qui The BRAIN WASHING MACHINE hard/alt/rock. ▲ RICKY’s Pub via Commerciale 12 ABBAZIA PISANI di Villa del Conte (Pd) lo sensazionale spettacolo cantabaristico di ONA MAN PIER con band al gran completo. ▲ GRIND HOUSE via Longhin 37 PADOVA sonorità oscure e luciferine per KAISERREICH + IN TORMENT I DIE + NOX INTERITUS black/post/thrash/death + djset Materiale Resistente Mario Tio. ▲ Cso PEDRO via Ticino PADOVA a presentare il loro nuovo disco "Scienze della Maleducazione saranno qui gli ESPANA CIRCO ESTE in apertura i DISPERATO Circo Musicale. ▲ IL VENTENNALE via Martiri della Libertà VITTORIO Veneto (Tv) serata rock'n'roll con quello scassato dei SCRICCIOLONE e a seguire i SEUSS garage punk. ▲ ALTROQUANDO Osteria Musicale v.Corniani 32 SANT'ALBERTO di Zero Branco (Tv) serata all'insegna del punkrock/hardcore con gli scoppiettanti SKULLJERKS + i D-beat GROG + DOOM PATROL thrashcore che si impenna e WITHOUT SHISTLE gangi al cielo skatecore. ▲ DUMP galleria Bailo 7 TREVISO saranno qui a presentare il recente disco "High & Slow" i romagnoli MORO & the Silent Revolution. ▲ NASTY BOYS Saloon via Pellicciaio 4 TREVISO surf rock mescolato a del sano pop per gli SPACE MOSQUITO. ▲ CHINASKI Music Pub via Cadorna STRETTI di Eraclea (Ve) serata per cuori giovani e animi punk con RIKY & the KIDS assieme agli ON MY ARMS. ▲ SPAZIO AEREO via delle Industrie 27 MARGHERA (Ve) in collaborazione con il celebre festival Club to CLub esibizioni per i producer NOT WAVING e CHEVEL (EnKlav). ▲ Cso RIVOLTA via Fratelli Bandiera 45 MARGHERA (Ve) esibizioni di due band impegnate nella commistione tra rock, ricerca e ritmi etno-tribali, i WATERPROOF e gli HIGH GO. ▲ VIAROMA17 via Roma 17 DUEVILLE (Vi) festone per la chiusura stagionale con gli irriverenti punkrockers The LEECHES + djset Madnuts. ▲ Csa ARCADIA via Lago di Tovel 18 Z.I. SCHIO (Vi) ore 21:30 festa DIY i Giorni della Merla, per riscaldare il periodo più freddo dell'anno ci saranno le band SEVENTH postHC/sludge/Ve, AFFRONTO postHC/Padova, MARNERO post/doom/Bologna e i frizzanti BRUUNO HC/punk/Padova. ▲ CENTRO STABILE di CULTURA via Leogra SAN VITO di Leguzzano (Vi) questa sera saliranno sul palco gli eroi locali SPIGO ROCK alt/rock e i CAMERA CUBICA alt/noise/rock. ▲ LA MESA Nuovo Circolo via L.Da Vinci 54 MONTECCHIO Maggiore (Vi) sonorità punkrock per le band TULLAMORE celticpunk/Pavia, NYPRA crust/Vicenza e LMS punk'n'roll/Vicenza. ▲ LUCA’s Bar via Jolanda 122 STROPPARI di Tezze sul Brenta (Vi) fiesta mexicana con il rock'n'roll mariachi dei LOS TERRIBLES DE TIJUANA. ▲ TERZO PONTE via Ceramica 7 BASSANO del Grappa (Vi) gipsy jazz e manouche per il CHOUCKALI Trio. ▲ BROTHERS the Bar via Olimpia GREZZANA (Vr) salirà sul palco la DANIELE RONDA Band e la sua miscela di folk, pop e ritmiche latine. ▲ JACK the RIPPER pub via Nuova 9 RONCÀ (Vr) serata punk rock con le band VASELINERS, 33CL e i DURACEL. ▲ IL BLOCCO Music Hall via Monte Pastello 4 San GIOVANNI LUPATOTO (Vr) saranno qui a presentre illoro nuovo album i MISTONOCIVO, in apertura OVERDOSE alternative rock. ▲ HUMUS Villa ZAMBONI via Zamboni 35 VALEGGIO sul Mincio (Vr) Associazione Humus da vita ad un doppio live imperdibile, il folk duo robusto VACANTZE e poi l'ex leader dei Mariposa ALESSANDRO FIORI che presenta il suo nuovo disco + djset.

► DOMENICA 29 GENNAIO 2017 ▲ PUNKY REGGAE Pub via Barbarigo 15 LIEDOLO di S.ZENONE degli Ezzelini (Tv) puntualissimi alle 16 con i concerti organizzati dalla Bassano HC, quelli dei SUNPOCRISY postmetal/Bs The WANKERSS hard/rock/Pd e HYDROMANCER feat Flowers of Arrakis. ▲ BUSA dei BRIGANTI via Vicenza 15 PADOVA presentazione del numero 33 del LAHAR Magazine "Cantagallo", ci sarà il live acustico di ULISSE SCHIAVO bravissimo "menestrello con strumento a corda". ▲ BLACK LOTUS Pub via Cardinal Agostini 109 San MARTINO di Lupari (Pd) pomeriggio per salutare il trasferimento di Drome, ecco la scusa per i deraglianti live per GORE NAH, DETONATION BOULEVARD e FORKLITF ELEVATOR. ▲ LIGHTHOUSE Pub via Noalese Sud 2 NOALE (Ve) Super Concerto alle 18:00, dalle lande danesi arrivano The MOVEMENTS e il loro gara/hardmod sound, a seguire djset vinilico Danielino Valeria. ▲ AL MAJO Osteria via L.Camerini PIAZZOLA sul Brenta (Pd) in collaborazione con Slimer Rec sarà ospeite JJ MAZZ aka Luca Mazzieri (A Classic Education/Wolther goer Stranger) progetto fuzzy/dream guitar + djset Ale RIPTAPES. ▲ SPAZIO ZERO via Piave 2 ODERZO (Tv) dalle 18 ci sarà il doppio concerto per gli ALIEN DUCK Froum OUTER SPACE spacerock e il cantautore folk NEIL. ▲ SPAZIO AEREO via delle Industrie 27 MARGHERA (Ve) dalle 19 Power Acoustic Sunday con la performance "Voce di DOnna" con Goliarda Sapienza e poi esibizione live di MAURO BEGGIO in trio con Alfonso e Polga. ▲ MAME Club via Frà Paolo Sarpi 48 PADOVA dalle 20 serataSmart con l'intimo concerto di Nicolò CARNESI che di recente ha dato alles tampe "Bellissima Noia".

► LUNEDÌ 30 GENNAIO 2017 ▲ la merla ed i suoi cuccioli.

► MARTEDÌ 31 GENNAIO 2017 ▲ AI BILIARDI calle dello Spezier 1253 ponte delle Guglie Canareggio VENEZIA dalle 21 per la serie Live a Km Zero ci saranno i FUORIBORDO numerosi e rumorosi.

► MERCOLEDÌ 1° FEBBRAIO 2017 ▲ SHERWOOD Open Live vicolo Pontecorvo PADOVA dalle 19 aperitivo km zero e dalle 21 live acustico per Francesco BASSO e le sua canzoni di "Audioresistenza".

• http://shyrec.bandcamp.com/ • https://telegram.me/madeinpop/ • https://www.facebook.com/NewsletterMadeinpop/ • https://www.facebook.com/Shyrec/ • https://www.facebook.com/threeblackbirdsfree/