#roswell nm writers room my beloathed

[lovecolibri]

The way we could have had a whole season of Alex communicating with Michael through flashing lights and ringing bells, seeing Michael having one-sided arguments with Alex where you can *feel* his sass, Michael quietly whispering how he misses Alex and he's working so hard to get him home, Bonnie making a pass at Michael and something exploding nearby, and then Michael going frantic when the lights and stuff suddenly go crazy and then quit and Alex stops answering....like, we could have ABSOLUTELY still had so much Malex/Alex in feeling and in spirit without Tyler being there if he was unable to film. Vlamis would have absolutely sold it, (as would Trevino and Jeanine because we should have had the science bros all 3 working together), and it would have kept Alex in the center of the story, and SHOWN us Michael thinking about him all the time, so WHEN something happens, the fear and panic feel more genuine for the character, but also the audience because we would have seen them working together every step of the way.

I just...HOW do you have cosmic soulmates who are so desperate to be together, who are aching to not be separated even for a week or two, have one of them get kidnapped which is what angsty dreams are made of, and then bungle it THIS BADLY? Like, you have to WORK to undercut the narrative this hard, meaning it was an active choice to sideline Alex/Malex from the story.

[lovecolibri]

Okay, no you know what? I’m not done. Because I’m already seeing people slamming Alex stans and saying that the show at least “supported” Tyler during this time and while yeah, he wasn’t fired and written off the show if you think his time off came with no repercussions you haven’t been paying attention. 

The character that he loved and felt so connected to and was so excited to play, got put in a hole in the ground and forgotten about. His soulmate wasn’t even allowed to miss him, or notice he was gone 90% of the time and spent all his scenes with the new girl who kissed him, or his ex, putting their feet up and chilling. Alex wasn’t even allowed to reach out to his cosmic soulmate!! He had to reach out to Michael’s ex, the woman who literally came between them while since season 1 Tyler’s character has not ever been allowed to be hurt or angry about any of that. 

His “friends” didn’t notice he was missing and weren’t allowed to be worried about him either, just called to leave snappy voicemails about him not being there to support THEM when they needed something, and when they DID figure out he was gone, they plotted to keep it from Michael, and when that didn’t work, they actively kept Michael from going after Alex in mean and manipulative ways.

 His brothers and mom as far as we know weren’t even told that Alex was missing despite m*ria supposedly still being on speaking terms with her boyfriend Greg.

Tyler poured his heart into this character and this love story and when he was unable to be there, you know Vlamis had his back and would have carried the Malex storyline for both of them, happily! We know he can do glassy eyes over inanimate objects, we know he can deliver feral Michael, we know he can banter with thin air and make us believe he’s having a conversation with “ghost” Alex. But instead of honoring this character and this love story, the character and love story (and fans) were punished with this mess.

Yes, Tyler was unable to be on set and good for him for negotiating his contract to take care of himself. This has never been about him. Remember when I said the emotional beats were big enough that the writers would have to hit some of them by accident and it felt almost purposeful because they had to work to miss all those beats so hard? I hate being right. 

[lovecolibri]

So m*ria knew Alex was against marriage but never let go of wanting to marry him herself huh?

This whole scene is so disgusting. Alex not even being allowed a SINGLE family member to be there, after Greg stood between Michael and Jesse's gun because he knew how important Michael was to Alex, and eventually killing Jesse to keep them safe. But thank fucking christ m*ria isn't inconvenienced about Alex's LITERAL BROTHER COMING TO HIS WEDDING because it might interfere with her hopping on some new dick. Way to make everything about m*ria instead of ALEX.

He has to fucking support this woman saying ON HIS WEDDING DAY that she's relieved the man who saved him and Michael so they could even GET here wasn't coming because she wants to break up with him and hasn't had the balls to do it for over SIX MONTHS. Even here, even now, Alex is not allowed the grace to be upset or hurt by her terrible actions and attitude. What a fucking slap in the face to Alex as a character and the fans.

"But they couldn't get the actor for Gre-" I DON'T FUCKING CARE. Take that time to have Alex and Kyle have a heart-to-heart and him thank KYLE for being the stand-in when his brother couldn't make it. BAM. 100000% less disgusting.

[lovecolibri]

Friendly reminder that Tyler's health has never been any of our business and his physical availability to film has not been the issue with this season. It has ALWAYS been an issue with the writing and instead of honoring Alex's character and Malex's love story when Tyler was unable to be there, they stuck Alex in a hole and refused to let Michael care about or go after him after he found out where Alex was (like what if they just...didn't find the quicksand and we got Michael searching for Alex, or saw the parts with him putting things in the hole and not being able to pull them back. So many different options!). Alex missing sucked of course but Tyler's health is more important and no one has argued that this whole time. However, if they had done this storyline justice, it wouldn't have felt so much like Alex and Malex getting sidelined.

[lovecolibri]

@ladymajavader once again with the genius in the tags 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Liz my family includes: dude I fucked once in my rebound, Sander's who I've barely talked to , my dad, Michael who I treat like shit and all the guest stars

And none for Kibble and Alan

[lovecolibri]

I can't believe I'm seeing people calling this season the definition of "cosmic" when we have not only had ZERO Malex interaction in 5 episodes but also had to put up with

A) Alex being in danger and reaching out to his "cosmic" boyfriend's ex, instead of reaching out to his boyfriend directly AND the "clues" all being things the audience knew nothing about until they were said in the episode, making them carry zero weight

B) Michael not showing one single iota of worry that his boyfriend hasn't called to check in in DAYS. Not a "made it to the hotel finally" text, not a "just called to say goodnight" call, not a "me after sleeping in the car last night" pic of a hunched old man, not a "found my 5th balloon! I can't wait to get home to you, I miss my 👽" text, NOTHING.

If I hear one more person try to justify this shoody writing that paints Michael in a way we KNOW isn't right by saying "it's only been a few days, he said he'd be out of range, Michael had no reason to worry", I'm gonna scream.

Spoiler alert, even aside from all those reasons being dumb, you don't need a reason to worry. Worry just HAPPENS. And for someone with abandonment issues like Michael we should be seeing him worry! Even if he thinks maybe he's overreacting so he doesn't tell anyone else he's worried, WE as the audience should be seeing his worry because that's what you do when you love someone. You worry about them.

[lovecolibri]

These reviews continue to deliver nothing but truth bombs.

Alas, we need to keep in mind that there are two separate issues. The first is fans missing Alex. The second is everyone missing a good story.

Alex’s absence did not cause the terrible writing, the incoherent plot, the overly packed narrative, or any of the other issues that have occurred. All you have to do is look back over the show’s history to know that these problems have always existed.

There was absolutely a way to make Alex a part of the show without the audience seeing him. It also would have tightened up the writing by giving the narrative more coherence and making room for better character arcs.

Alex’s disappearance should have been all Michael, all the time. It could have gone like this: We take the not seen sex to the bedroom and make it seen. Michael “all impulse” Guerin in the throes of passion puts a handprint on Alex. It would be the queer version of Liz being thrown into a bookshelf or Maria knocking down a painting. Now, Michael and Alex are connected. Alex gets sucked into the alien sandpit. He’s distressed. He’s scared. He’s confused. Michael feeling this rush of emotions collapses. Michael becomes possessed with finding Alex. He spends hours, days in his lair. Alex finds a way to communicate with him, growing Michael’s obsession. He feels, through the connection left by the print, Alex getting weak. Michael feels the sickness coursing through his body, and then he realizes that Alex is dying. Michael is now frantic. We then pick up with Kyle and Michael finding a way into the portal, and Michael entering.

This didn’t happen because the writers have never known what to do with Maria, so they toss her leftovers or storylines that rightfully belong in the hands of another character or worse yet give her a plot that adds little to the season’s overall narrative. It also didn’t happen because the show was full to the brim with guest stars.

***

With only two episodes left, the writers decided to pack a proposal into the episode. They’ve wasted tons of time, so now there is truly no time to waste. Michael accepts Alex’s proposal and let’s it be known that’s he’s so in love with Alex that it’s embarrassing. No, what’s embarrassing is that this show wasted so many season not taking advantage of the chemistry these two generate. These two deserve the proposal and their happy ending, but I'm still peeved that it was rushed.

Do we think they’ll get married in the pocket dimension?...I’m of two minds. Mind the first: Their crap friends don’t deserve invites to the wedding. Mind the second: Unless you subscribe to anarchy, the marriage isn’t legal until you sign the certificate, so sure go ahead, get married in the upside down.

The proposal and almost-not quite celebration sex is interrupted by Alex confessing that he’s dying of radiation poisoning. And this was the moment when all I could do was chuckle and shake my head in disgust. Not because I was surprised, but because Alex remains the writers’ favorite punching bag. I mean, Liz vapes alien mist and gets a Wild West adventure; Alex does his job and gets radiation poisoning. Similar.

***

One would think Michael and Alex could have their reunion moment without any intrusions...Sadly, the writers decided to slap the ice cream out of viewers hands by dragging Maria into the conversation. Even when we don’t see Maria, we have to hear about Maria. Apparently, she created something. The words Alex spoke were 93% too made up for me to follow.

***

I’m highly amused that Max and Michael have been traipsing around Roswell with the mark of Ophicius etched on their bodies. We basically have a situation where someone sees a cool letter or symbol from a language they don’t speak only to discover their new tattoo says ‘dead chipmunk sex is the best sex.”

***

I’ve decided not to ask how Clyde knows everything because then I’d have to ask about the burned grove of trees. It’s another moment where you stop and wonder how writing can be this awful. I mean think about it. Alex saw the trees and then someone burned the trees. Whomst’d burned the trees?...Do we really have time for another mystery or will this simply be an illogical complication for the sake of adding just one more complication? I dare say we know the answer, but I’m willing to be proven wrong.

***

Roswell, New Mexico is the psychological equivalent of believing you’ve caught Santa coming down the chimney only to discover it’s the clown from Poltergeist gnawing on a bloody reindeer leg. You can’t unsee it. You can’t forget it. And in your heart of hearts, you knew the moment was too good to be true. It was never going to be Santa. It was always going to be a bloody nightmare.

[lovecolibri]

Lol at the RNM socials asking where the Malex fans are and to watch tonight like the last time they promoted an episode "for the Malex fans" we didn't get slapped in the face with m*luca-lite and m*ria in the middle of every supposedly "Malex" moment while not even getting a glimpse of Alex. 🙄 I mean, I hope we get Alex back too but their whole attitude this season is Not It.

[lovecolibri]

@ladymajavader your tags! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

I am no M*ria fan either, but it's so embarrassing for the show that at the end of the 4 seasons all she has is being inserted into Malex for no reason, which is exactly where she started in s1, and a random romance that got like 10 minutes of screentime max. Mimi got killed off for what exactly?

Yup yup yup, it's awful. They never knew what to do with her character and instead gave us this garbage and pain. Idk how anyone who likes Maria could genuinely be happy with the way she's been treated

[lovecolibri]

I just...🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ IMAGINE trying to hype an episode with "the journey really begins kinda cliffhangers" when there are literally 3 episodes left of the entire show after this one. "The journey" should have "begun" at the START of the season, not the fucking END. This entire season has been a joke.

And if they* think having almost the entire Malex relationship taking place over hiatus and then burying Alex for what looks to be around 9 out of 13 episodes while not even allowing Michael to notice he's missing or go after him, and then slapping a Malex wedding into the finale is satisfying, they're sorely mistaken.

*this is NOT directed at Valmis or Tyler as they have no control over how the story was written and anything THEY have to give us will be better, more heartfelt, and more appreciated than any bandaid the show tries to slap on the long dead, rotting corpse of a relationship they've tried to tell us Malex have without even bothering to attempt to put it on our screens.

[lovecolibri]

Gotta get this all out first so I can flail about Malex cumbs.

I hate this fucking bar and can't wait to never see it again.

Sure love this idea to SKIP THE FUCKING WEDDING and jump to the reception.

Why is Michael making dude-bro jokes about being made and "honest man" when he has said he's been dreaming of a future with Alex since they were teens?!

Way to bring up that time Alex sang a song about their love and getting past the obstacles in their way where Michael walked out partway through and Alex barely noticed and then gleefully kissed someone else about it.

It's not even Michael singing the song

Love having the wedding in a flashback where we don't get to hear vows

Way to make the man with one leg walk down the aisle with the woman who dated the love of his life while knowing they both still had feelings for each other and basically SA'd them in a manipulative attempt to make Michael choose her over Alex. Why isn't Kyle his best man again?

Why didn't MICHAEL who has been looking for family since the show started get walked down the aisle by the dad he found along the way?

Thanks for than final "fuck you" to the fans having Michael have to hug m*ria before he can hold Alex's hands and get married

Of course the cake says "Malex forever" and Alex is still represented by the military he hasn't served since last season

Why are all the women in BLACK dresses for a WEDDING?! Except m*ria of course who is the only one not in black and she's in RED and a loud fur coat pulling focus in every scene. Because of course she is. They really said "how can we make this entire fucking wedding about m*ria?"

[lovecolibri]

Michael going more feral when he was dating a whole other person than now when he's living with Alex is Danny Tolli's definition of "this one for the Malex fans."

Sounds about right 🙄🙄🙄 This season is such a joke. And once again, Tyler having to miss episodes, even unexpectedly, does not make ANY of this good writing. Not allowing Michael to notice or care until now that something wasn't right? Not allowing Kyle, the ONLY friend Alex has had since the show started who has supported and care about him, to be involved or notice something's up? Those things easily could have been done without Tyler being around to film. Not allowing Michael to be angry and call people out when it's justified, and wedging fucking m*ria into the middle of everything for Malex when she has activly looked at Alex's love for Michael and said "too bad, you can't help who you love" and went after Michael anyway and then proceeded to spend their entire relationship talking down to and degrading Michael, is fucking disgusting.

Once again, Malex fans put their expectations in the ground and once again the show manages to find a new low to dig under them. If Vlamis wasn't who he is and wasn't ALL fucking in on Guerin and Malex they never could have sold this but he makes a meal out of crumbs so at least there's that 🤷🏻‍♀️

[lovecolibri]

IDK, if I was doing a show and I had budget constraints, I would simply hire fewer guest stars, have a shorter episode count for recurring characters, utilize previous sets instead of multiple new ones, and maybe figure out which one of the core cast is the LEAST plot essential (hint it's still, and always has been, m*ria) and move them to a recurring role instead of cutting a fan favorite character and consequently ship dynamic from more than half of the season, and without even using that absence to mean anything or drive the plot, but that's just me 🤷🏻‍♀️

I love that they want to spin this as a budget issue which, even if it was, and cutting Tyler was the route they chose to take, doesn't make the writing for his absence any better! Alex going missing could have been the driving plot all season but it wasn't and that has nothing to do with the budget, it's bad writing.

Also, fans of this show have known from the beginning that the pod squad and Liz were the only ones with full 13 episode contracts, the complaints aren't about that but about the way their absences are done because almost every time it's been either a kidnapping/coma situation as the excuse, or they just...aren't there, with zero explanation and for situations that character absolutely should be involved with or have a damn good reason for missing which we never get.

A good showrunner and writing team can work around the budget and RNM has proved time and again that they are not up to the challenge 🤷🏻‍♀️

[lovecolibri]

Other people have said it so much better but Rosa throwing the car accident (where they put her behind the weel of her own car, which sounds pretty logical for a group of terrified teens who weren't thinking about long-term ramifications) is...certainly a choice here, especially given she didn't throw that "logic" argument in Max's face when he wanted to go into the mindscape after Liz. But what really gets me, is her saying Michael going into the sinkhole won't help anybody, like girl! It could help ALEX! It could help Dallas and Bonnie and maybe they could have some insight! At the very least it could help MICHAEL be able to focus now he knows Alex is safe! If Heath is struggling so much, why are they yelling at Michael that he needs to help instead of calling Kyle back and having him and Heath bounce ideas off each other since Kyle is actually an ALIEN doctor and might have ideas for Heath on what to do. Why does Michael have to put the rescue of his soulmate on hold, and why are his acts of loving devotion "illogical" but Max's aren't?! Don't answer that either.

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here friend, hoping your ready for a long one. So I did watch the finale. I absolutely cheated and skipped every single M*ria scene, which thanks to your excellent live blog i knew exactly when they were, so it was a pretty quick watch and much more enjoyable than yours. I don't feel too bad since you're also the one thst convinced me to watch by mentioning the "science" scenes, which I can't resist watching, much like a train wreck. Let me say first Vlamburn delivered soooo much this

**oh no Tumblr ate this part**SaL anon here bestie cursing tumblr right along with you 😡😡. So on the Vlamburn front I just loved how much we got from them this episode, like we actually had very little time spent on the two of them and they didn't even have a conversation (or were allowed to be all over each other like the het couples) but even with mostly just eye contact they completely sold the cosmic love story and that won't be seen again anytime soon. For M*ria, i found it interesting who she had scenes with.

{m*ria} scenes this episode considering she isn't even a main, but who she had scenes with. Up till now in S4 M*ria has had "heartfelt" conversations with half the mains/regulars including Liz, Isobel, Dallas, Rosa, and Michael (4 of these 5 were her making things about herself of course). And for the finale she made the final rounds by talking with Max, Kyle, Alex, and even Bonnie. She had these talks with every single character, something no one, even the mains, got. If this was the goal it makes sense why she had that talk with Alex (the only actual talk Alex had all episode 😠) since Alex had so little screen time.  It honestly made so much more sense for Kyle to be there since they have literally never talked on screen since S2, but Kyle had a heart-to-heart with him in S3 and Alex kept vigil at Kyle's side when both him and M*ria were in a coma. But they needed to have it be M*ria because they can't leave without "proving" M*ria is the "heart" of the group, and therefore relevant. Because after her character assassination in S2 the writers desperately want us to forget what happened. Much like M*ria herself, they want us to believe they didn't do anything wrong. An even sadder parallel of them to Maria is for all the desperate twisting of the plot, in the end the only thing they'll be remembered for is a romance they didn't even earn (Vlamburn earned Malex, not them). Sorry for the rant, more on science atrocities later!!

I’m so sorry Tumblr hates us and eats parts of your asks! At least it was mostly at the start so we can figure out what was there pretty easily! I’m glad I was able to help you skip all of the m*ria nonsense this episode which must have made for a short episode because she was fucking everywhere 🙄 But now our viewing is complete and we can wrench what we want from cannon’s cold dead hands and leave the rest to rot!

I’m....I’m actually stunned looking at this though because in the euphoria of Malex wrapped around each other and swaying on the dance floor I was blinded to the fact that aside from the quick scene of Michael saying he married his childhood sweetheart and Alex saying he’s changing his name, we didn’t get a single other conversation between them!! In an episode that started with Alex being on the verge of death from radiation poisoning and ended with a wedding, we didn’t a single thing about Alex’s care and recovery (no pods or alien science to be found here! Speaking of, did they ever find where Shivani hid the pods?), and for a couple known for grand and epic speeches that always left us aching a little, when it was time to finally have a moving speech with nothing but happiness, we didn’t even get vows!! To say nothing of the writers still insisting Alex was ashamed/embarrassed by Michael because they can’t be bothered to care about Alex’s reasons/motivations for absolutely anything. 🙄🙄🙄 At least no even shitty writing can stop those patented Vlamburn Heart Eyes and the way they were so soft and giggly and wrapped around each other (even when the focus was for some reason on anyone but them at their own goddamn wedding) was ALL Tyler and Vlamis. They sold this love hard to make up for the gaps in the storytelling and I think the wedding merch line helped people feel a little more settled. If Vlamis wasn’t hustling his ass off this whole show though and giving us those ridiculously sweet photoshoot teasers for Vlambase these past few years, I’m not sure if even their magic chemistry could have sold this.

As for m*ria, I shouldn’t be so surprised at how much screentime she got in the finale but I still was. I’m sorry, I thought LIZ was the lead for this show but this was once again an episode of the m*ria d*luca show because we can’t have nice things apparently. You’re right that she got to make the rounds and have “heartfelt” conversations with everyone which was weird because a) like you pointed out she made most of them about herself, including making Alex manage her feelings about his own brother not being able to make it to his wedding because it’s awkward for her, and b) because some of these characters she has barely spoken to so it makes no sense for her to be having deep talks with them! When was the last time she talked to MAX?! Why is she giving him advice on anything (though actually she just gave him alcohol because that’s all she’s ever been able to do and “bartender” was was the only personality trait they wrote in permanent marker for her at the start of the show. Also the costuming choices to have everyone in muted colors and spcifically the rest of the main ladies in funeral black but putting m*ria in BRIGHT red (and yet another loud fur coat. Girl, maybe this is why your finances are struggling!) so she stands out in every single scene was...sure a thing that happened. 

The fact that we didn’t get ANY scenes of Kyle and Alex in the finale when Kyle was the one saving Alex’s life is ridiculous when fans have been begging for more Kyle and Alex scenes since season 1!! I know Tyler had a lot less time filming but they really couldn’t put him in a bed for a few minutes napping while Kyle and Michael talk? Or even put it on a loop and have Kyle and Michael looking at him through a window? I would have even settled for Kyle and Michael talking about Alex without him there!! But we got nothing because none of this storyline has ever been about ALEX, only about how his living or dying affects others and even that is only dependent on if they want Michael busy doing other things. These writers didn’t deserve most of these characters and stories but they absolutely, unequivocally never deserved Alex.

“Because after her character assassination in S2 the writers desperately want us to forget what happened. Much like M*ria herself, they want us to believe they didn't do anything wrong.” 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 They can lay this at Tyler’s feet all day for not being able to film but Tyler mentioned this was an issue at the end of season 3 so they went into season 4 knowing this! Seeing fans on the fly writing up a multitude of different ways to have Alex missing while still being a focus for Michael and the rest of the group proves they had a lot of options and just...didn’t use them. In fact, they did their level best to downplay everything about Alex including his imminent death and his own feelings about his own wedding. They actively made choices that made zero sense specifically to undercut Alex’s importance as a character and the magic of the Malex love story. I see all the petitions going around to save the show and I would not be opposed to a movie later to fix the mess they made of Echo this season and to see Malex being grossly in love and maybe new dads (big man tiny baby!!!), and to get some good Kybel content which we got shafted out of in the finale to make room for m*ria starting a new relationship just to have Dallas leave for Oasis. Whyyyyy when we could have wrapped up Kybel more?! Also good for Dallas getting TF off this planet. Hopefully he finds a nice Oasision person and decides to stay there, far from manipulative and narcissistic influences or goes to NY when he gets back to visit Heath (who apparently just left town once Liz was okay, never to be seen again despite Dallas still being missing). *deep sigh* we could have had them be boyfriends but then what would Rosa have had to do? They already gave her powers to m*ria to give her something to do and apparently Rosa can’t exist without something vaguely relationship-y going on. 🙄

At the end of the day, the only thing that ever sold anything on this show was the magnetic chemistry most of the cast had with each other. They get all my love and gratitude and thanks along with the crew. The writers get nothing because they gave us nothing.

I’m a procrastinator extraordinaire so with the deadline of a new episode removed (and waiting until Thursday to watch the episode) I’m probably not getting my episode post up until tomorrow maybe Tuesday. I’m going to try and clear out my inbox today but I’m going to my grandma’s for lunch and fully intend to spend the rest of the day full and content and relaxed, watching Emma and crocheting and maybe working on a puzzle so there will be no room for salty vibes! I look forward to your salty science rant and with 911 coming back and looking up from where it ended last season, hopefully we’ll get some good vibes to post songs about! And if I’m *really* ambitious maybe I’ll get our masterlist put together. I wanted to showcase the lovely artwork for all these albums but the “masterlist” would end up being a massive click-through to multiple other lists and no one wants that. So I’m still working out the formatting especially since Tumblr formatting won’t do multi-tiered lists 🙄Anywho, happy Sunday, happy Malex wedding and them also getting TF out of dodge, happy some kind of Malex/Vlamburn teaser from Vlambase tomorrow, and happy one week-ish until 911 is back! Everyone enjoy a nice Sunday chill!

[lovecolibri]

@ashesandhalefire with the facts again!

in my ideal world the caulfield and project shepherd stuff were dragged out far longer (for seasons) and jones would be the final season’s villain