#GET HER THE FUCK AWAY FROM ALEX AND MALEX FOREVER PLEASE

[lovecolibri]

So m*ria knew Alex was against marriage but never let go of wanting to marry him herself huh?

This whole scene is so disgusting. Alex not even being allowed a SINGLE family member to be there, after Greg stood between Michael and Jesse's gun because he knew how important Michael was to Alex, and eventually killing Jesse to keep them safe. But thank fucking christ m*ria isn't inconvenienced about Alex's LITERAL BROTHER COMING TO HIS WEDDING because it might interfere with her hopping on some new dick. Way to make everything about m*ria instead of ALEX.

He has to fucking support this woman saying ON HIS WEDDING DAY that she's relieved the man who saved him and Michael so they could even GET here wasn't coming because she wants to break up with him and hasn't had the balls to do it for over SIX MONTHS. Even here, even now, Alex is not allowed the grace to be upset or hurt by her terrible actions and attitude. What a fucking slap in the face to Alex as a character and the fans.

"But they couldn't get the actor for Gre-" I DON'T FUCKING CARE. Take that time to have Alex and Kyle have a heart-to-heart and him thank KYLE for being the stand-in when his brother couldn't make it. BAM. 100000% less disgusting.

[pastelwitchling]

I cried myself to sleep last night, so that’s the kind of season we’ve got, people. Beware going in, I skipped every scene that didn’t have Michael, and a few of Maria’s for one reason I’ll list below, in my thoughts on 4x07.

I have nothing to say on Liz and Max since I skipped all of their scenes, along the scenes with Isobel and Dallas. I just don’t care, I really don’t. I just want Alex.

By the way, side note, when you have a “Last time on Roswell New Mexico” that takes forever because it’s diving into a million subplots that don’t need to be there, excluding even more subplots by the way, you have a problem.

We were robbed. That title was just intentionally tricking us, wasn’t it? To call an episode Dig Me Out when you knew the fandom would be demanding Alex to near-protest degrees by now is an intentional attempt to trick us into thinking that Michael at least would know by now, if not having Alex himself in the episode. Instead, who do we get discovering it?

The one fucking person we want as far away from Alex as possible.

And that’s why I didn’t skip her scenes . . . near the end. See, I went into the episode knowing full well that Maria, Liz, and Dallas would end up knowing about Alex being gone at the end, so while I was able to watch a second or two of the rest of Maria’s scenes (before I just couldn’t take anymore the fact that they were actually having Alex reach out to her of all people and ended up skipping since she assumed it was just her mother anyway), I ended up watching the one at the end.

I’ll get to that particular scene more and why it made me cry in a second, though I should think the reason’s obvious. But for now, I just. I’m. I am so sick of watching The Maria Show. It’s bad enough so much of season 3 focused on her, but now we get her involved with Alex’s storyline so that I’m obligated to sit through her scenes, and when I tell you the mere sight of her, after everything she’s done, makes my heart clench in the most painful, miserable way, believe me I’m not exaggerating. This character might just give me cancer, I loathe her that much.

The problem, however, is also the fact that I just want Alex back so bad, and I want someone to finally notice he’s gone, that I will take whatever I get at this point. The promo for next episode shows that Michael finally finds out, and I just hope it’s at the beginning. By the gods, we deserve that much by now.

I understand Tyler had to miss a few more episodes than usual (it’s only been two more episodes that he’s missed than his usual three, but it feels like an eternity, which really emphasizes how much he carries this show on his back and that’s probably why he had back problems), but it’s not hard to show Michael missing him when he’s not there. Show him bored, less in the mood to make jokes, too tired and busy missing Alex to be his usual snarky self, and have other characters notice and acknowledge that.

Quick mention that I did watch Dallas’s scene with Bonnie and Clyde there at the end, and, aside from liking Clyde and Bonnie together and wanting them together, I just love Dallas so much, and he’s so wonderful, and give him and Malex their own spinoff please, the three of them the center of the show the way Sam, Dean, and Cas were the center of Supernatural. Mostly Sam and Dean, but you get the point.

Now. That scene at the end. I know Alex isn’t dead. I know they wouldn’t do that. But just hearing the words, and after not having Michael even openly or privately miss him, and finally having her, of all people, find out he was gone, to then hear Liz ask if Alex was dead, too, it makes me cry now as I write this. The very words terrify me to my core, and I just really, after everything they’ve put us through, did not appreciate it.

This isn’t suspenseful storytelling, this is completely ignoring a most-beloved character when it would only make more sense to acknowledge him when he’s not there, and then throwing in a twist by the character that has wronged him the most, in unspeakable ways, all for the sake of shock value, and so that they could show off how “tolerant” they are by having Maria be the center, even though, instead of ever giving her a proper redemption arc, which they could’ve done this season, they instead try to trick the audience once again into thinking she never did anything wrong and that anyone is lucky to have her attention. I’d rather be branded, thanks.

But again, I’ll take what I can get at this point. My sole hope in terms of Maria’s involvement in Alex’s storyline is that it ends before the next episode does. I hope they just have her there to prove to Michael that Alex is missing and that it’s not because he’s dead (seriously rnm writers, you think it’s clever writing to make your audience cry more because they’re upset at the way the character’s treated than because the story itself earned those tears?), and then make her go away.

Finally, Michael. I get that going home was something he’s wanted since he was a kid, but he’s said several times already in the past four seasons that Alex is his home. Yet the dialogue comes off like he’s not even missing Alex and that he’s really not torn up at all about leaving him. I know that’s not the case, and thanks to Vlamis, we know that Michael isn’t Michael without Alex, but for the love of Poseidon, they need to show us that! I’ve watched the promo a hundred times by now just to rewind Michael finding out about Alex, and I hope that Michael not only finds out in the beginning of the episode and goes feral so that we could have as much of that as we are owed, but that Michael realizes that the idea of Alex being in danger tips the scales all the way so there’s no longer a choice between leaving and staying with Alex.

And you know the most tragic part of all of this? If I had known the pain this show would cause me--not like Merlin, that causes pain because it yanks on all the right heartstrings--but because I would get a hero that I haven’t loved this much since Harry Potter himself (who, by the way, Tyler himself said Alex was the Harry Potter of Roswell New Mexico and that is the best description that will ever be), and see the way he’s been so blatantly disrespected, I would still do this crap all over again, if only to have Alex Manes and malex in my life. For Alex and malex, I hope and plea to the gods that the next six episodes make up for the past five. That’s it, that’s all I’ve got.

[captainsassmanes]

Here’s my Malex remix gift for @cosmicclownboy! I took a little bit of your meta, some of the small things you like (Alex + leather, yes please!) and created this drabble. I hope you enjoy :) 

Open Up My Eager Eyes

“You’re either cruel, stupid or a bit of both.”

Michael huffed out an unamused laugh and rolled his eyes as he brought the rim of his beer glass to his lips. Kyle didn’t move, his smirk and raised eyebrow still perfectly in place.

“Not that I give a shit but,” Michael sighed and turned in his seat, “what exactly are you talking about?”

Contrary to what was probably popular opinion, Michael wasn’t stupid. He was well aware that the only time he and Kyle exchanged more than a passing nod, the topic was always the same.

Alex.

“There’s no way,” Kyle said leaning against the bar top, his bicep flexing in his perfectly fitting denim jacket, “that you haven’t noticed what Alex has been doing.”

Michael smirked and shrugged, helpless against the urge to rile Kyle up. “What’s he been doing, Doc?”

Shaking his head, Kyle threw back the rest of his beer, smacking his lips before standing and tossing a few bucks on the bar.

“Alex has been sad and lonely for way too long. You and I both know the man’s incredible and deserves the best so,” Kyle smiled as he pulled out his keys. “Tomorrow night, Isobel and I are taking him to Planet 7.”

Michael’s façade fell with no hope of keeping it in place. His cheeks paled and he swallowed past the panic rising in his throat. If the smile on Kyle’s face was any indicator, he knew his words had hit their target.

“He might not find Mr. Right at the club but Mr. Good Enough for Tonight will probably be there.” He clapped Michael on the shoulder before heading out the door, arrogant swagger followed like a cloud.

Michael was frozen, brain sifting through too many thoughts at once. Why was this always happening? Why were they always on two different paths when he was so desperate to be right next to Alex? He figured he’d had time after Alex and Forrest fizzled out, do the awkward acquaintance thing then move into friendship then -

“If I were you-”

“Jesus Christ!” Michael jumped, hand moving to his chest as he caught his breath. He was so lost in his own thoughts he didn’t notice when Rosa had taken the seat next to him.

She just laughed. “If I were you, cowboy, I’d show up at the club and tell him how I felt.”

“How I’m – “

“We all know you’ve been in love with each other forever. You’re just too stubborn to deal with your shit and communicate. You people keep claiming to be adults, but I just see one idiot after another.”

“Ouch,” Michael chuckled, giving Rosa a playful push. He sighed, pulling on his hat and digging out a few bucks. “I’ve messed up so many times for so many years. I guess, if I were him, I’d probably tell me to fuck off.”

“Nah,” Rosa stood, heading back to her friends. “Just be honest. Talk, for god’s sake.” She put her fingers to her lips and then shoved her kiss aggressively against Michael’s cheek with a wink.

Talk, Michael thought. Easier said than done.

***********

It took Michael longer to get ready than he’d planned. No one seemed to realize it, but it took a considerable amount of time and effort to get his curls to fall just the right way. He showered, shaved, fixed his hair and tried on every shirt he owned. Ultimately, he went with his usual style: jeans, clean white t-shirt and a relatively new purple, long-sleeved flannel.

The night air was cool, whipping his hair in front of his eyes as he drove to the club. In his many years living in Roswell, Michael never visited Planet 7. He didn’t know why. He certainly wasn’t ashamed of his sexuality, though he wasn’t walking around with a pride pin on his chest, either.

There was a first time for everything.

He parked the truck and took a few deep breaths, tapping nervously against the steering wheel. Michael watched as more than a few very attractive people walked in and out of the door. He’d been so focused on the environment, how he’d fit into the club, what he’d say to Alex, that he forgot Alex would be here, looking gorgeous he had no doubt, surrounded by other gorgeous, and horny, people.

“Just be honest. Just talk.” Michael repeated his new mantra to himself as he walked into the noise and flashing lights. He did his best to kiss the wall, wanting to survey the scene before diving right in. He’d planned an entire speech for Alex, practicing parts of it over and over again in his tiny mirror while he fought with his hair. Michael found the bar and ordered himself a beer, nodding politely at the blonde with the bright smile who handed him the bottle.

Across the room, highlighted in shades of pink and purple from the lights, Alex sat at a table by himself. He had a small smile on his face though Michael could tell, even from so far away, that it was laced with sadness. He followed Alex’s eyes and watched as Isobel and Kyle danced drunkenly with a small group, laughing and smiling, hands and drinks everywhere. Kyle waved Alex over, trying to get him to join in, but Alex just smiled wider and shook his head, taking a sip of his drink.

He looked stunning. Alex’s hair had gotten long and he’d let some facial hair grow around his perfect mouth. A blue t-shirt emphasized the shape of his chest and his arms and, Michael noticed with a flush to his cheeks, a leather jacket was thrown carefully over the back of his chair.

He shouldn’t be alone, Michael’s brain supplied as he felt a wave of confidence and a pure need he had been ignoring for too long.

Moving across the dance floor, Michael did his best to move between the sweaty, dancing bodies, his eyes never leaving Alex. He stood in front of Alex, whose eyes lifted, and jaw slightly dropped. Michael offered his hand with a serious look on his face.

“Dance with me.”

Alex placed his drink on the table and slid his hand into Michael’s, strong hands holding one another. They found their own space, as far from the crowd as they could go, as a slower song played through the speakers. Michael slid his arm around Alex’s back, fingers finding bare skin beneath the soft cotton. His other arm moved slowly between Alex’s muscled shoulder blades, pulling with a desperation at the neck of the shirt. Alex hesitated for just a second, seeming to process what was happening. His hands moved up Michael’s chest, arms coming to rest once they were wrapped around Michael’s neck, one hand moving into those chestnut curls where his fingers couldn’t stop running through the strands. They rounded into one another, practically becoming one. Their faces rested in the crook of the others neck, both taking deep breaths and closing their eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Michael whispered, breath tickling the shell of Alex’s ear, causing goosebumps to race down his neck. “I was terrified.”

“Of what?” Michael thought, if he could taste Alex’s voice, it’d be sweet like berries in summer.

“I can’t mess this up again, Alex. I think it’ll kill me.” He felt Alex nod in understanding, hair brushing against his cheek. Alex stood straight to meet his gaze. “I’ve been trying to talk to you for weeks. You just seemed to – “

“I know.” Michael said, eyes squeezing shut from embarrassment. “I knew what you were doing, and I wanted to talk, to start over, so badly. I just kept picturing messing it up or you walking away, and I couldn’t - “

“I’m not going anywhere this time, Michael. I’m right here.” Alex’s hand moved to Michael’s face, thumb dragging gently across his stubbled jaw.

Michael’s shoulders relaxed and his chest lost some of its tightness as a calm washed over him. Alex rested his forehead against Michael’s as his slid his thigh between the other man’s legs, both hands returning to the curls he never seemed to get enough of. “I’m not going anywhere, Michael.”

Michael sighed and pulled Alex closer, their bodies moving with the music, lost in their own world while the universe spun around them.

“I forgot what this felt like,” Michael laughed, rubbing his nose against Alex’s. Alex smiled and asked, “what?”

“Happiness.”

[alexandermanes]

halloween week, day two - the hunt

hi! welcome to day two of my halloween week fic! This one is a werevolf au, tw for blood, graphic descriptions of gore and werewolf transformation

IT BELMANES CENTRIC OK BC I ALWAYS WRITE MALEX

summary: the pod squad is a wolf squad and jesse manes hunts them down 

ao3

The moon was set high in the sky as six pairs of legs galloped on the sterile sandy soil in Roswell, New Mexico; soft thick fur dancing in the wind. Usually people steered clear from the desert once the sun had set. Tonight was a full moon which always meant agonizing metamorphosis, bones cracking, nails and fur growing, eyes glowing, teeth piercing through flesh; blood, so much blood. With every full moon came the reminder of their curse, but it also brought a foreign sense of freedom, such as running through the desert as a wolf, something so primal and common amongst various animals, something that ordinary human beings could never experience it.  

Freedom wasn’t something Michael, Isobel and Max ever experienced since their conception; the lack of freedom was passed down from generation to generation. The curse was bearable, despite excruciating, but it had its perks, though the witch that cursed their bloodline could have never predicted that once their ancestors set foot in a supposedly uninhabited “new” land they’d be persecuted by men. Not just any men, men from the same bloodline. Man who they came to know as Manes men. Maybe the witch had predicted their fate after all, an addition to their misery. With each generation of their family the tale of their curse became more and more unclear, trapped in a fog set by time, the story’s veracity crumbled; instead of a single myth there were many and each family knew a tale that diverged slightly or enormously from the original one. However, the witch’s name or her family’s name were unknown, the only common denominators in all versions of the story of the family’s curse.      

For years the Manes have hunted them and for years they traveled through the country, hiding and never staying in one place for too long yet here they were, back in Roswell after all this time. The Manes were relentless, always somehow one or two steps behind, breathing down their necks even if indirectly, they were powerful people, hunters nonetheless. And hunters, like beasts, were drawn to the smell of shed blood. Though their families vowed to never harm a hair in a human’s head the target in their heads never seemed to waver, not to the Manes.

Soon, it would be dawn, and they would morph into their human form again, and the cycle would repeat itself for other five days until the full moon would transitioned to a quarter moon. Feeling the soothing approach of dawn, Isobel directed her pack, her brothers to the nearest cave, a cave they strategically left clothes and blankets in for once they were back to being bipeds again.

“So, what’s the plan, Iz?”, Michael asked as he put on his shirt, his back to his siblings, as they had their backs turned to him too. The bare minimum of privacy.

“Survive the week, move the next”  

Once the rustling of clothes ceases silence settled, an indication they were all decent, Michael looked at his siblings, something dark settled in his features

“Y’know, this would all be done with if we got rid of them”

“All of them?”, Isobel asked pointedly, her tone imbued in annoyance

“Well-“

“Well, all of them except your precious Alex, that is”

“He is not like them”, Michael remarked wearily and slightly offended on Alex’s behalf

“They are all the same. They are all monsters”

“Izzy-“

“Michael, please. I get it, okay? You’re in love”, her brother chocked on air as if her words were some kind of revelation, “doesn’t automatically undo all the things his family did to ours”

Michael and Isobel were tied by blood, but not like her and Max, Michael was her cousin but in every way that counted he was her brother and despite being a thick-skulled, one-track minded asshole sometimes, he was and forever would be her brother. Even if he fell for a Manes man, the same men that-

No, she was not going there.

“Let’s go have breakfast”, she offered and both brothers nodded, acquiescing silently

-

   Sunlight streamed through The Crashdown’s window’s, soft and feather-like warmth enveloped the siblings. The diner was mostly empty given the fact that it was early in the morning, before seven o’clock. They were greeted by a smiling and antennae-wearing Liz Ortecho, who seemed genuinely glad to see them after so many years, and it had Max blushing just by being the receiving end of her smile.

After ordering their morning coffee and skimming through the pages on their menu, finally they ordered their breakfast food.

“It’s good to be back”, Max sighed into his coffee

“Is it though?”, Isobel muttered under her breath, still analyzing the menu, her light brown wig looking a bit more like her actual hair

“Okay, Izzy. I’d get the morning crank, if it was all that this”, Max zig-zagged his finger in her direction, looking suspicious under his baseball cap, “was about. Which it ain’t, so talk to us, Izzy”, he looked at her with his puppy hazel eyes earnestly and all her irritation melted away and grew subsequently like a cart on a rollercoaster ride.

“Fine”, she squinted her light green eyes and glared at her brothers, “I’m tired of running”, she says matter-of-factly, “if they want to come for us I say let them try to take the first swing”

“Wait”, Max says at the same time Michael chokes on his omelet

“Isobel are you sure this isn’t about -“

“Don’t”, she interrupts him menacingly, green eyes sparkling with rage and something else entirely “don’t start, Max”

“Isobel”, he tries again

“Please”, she pleads a bit too loudly earning a concerned and quizzical look from Liz and Arturo

“Okay”, her brother relents, “but we still need to talk about this”, his voice is soft but his eyes are stern, nothing short of determination, “we’ve let you call the shots, wherever you pointed to we just followed behind. Now though, staying here? With the Manes around, in their hometown? We at least need to talk about it”

Michael and Isobel nod in acquisition knowing this problem will resurface sooner rather than later.

-

               In the afternoon, Isobel and her brothers plopped down and huddled together on the small sofa inside the Bunker beneath the Sanders Auto, ready to discuss what they’d postponed for too long.

“So”, Max started, “why are we here?”

“Uh, we can’t exactly go outside and walk around like actual p-“

“Enough with the games, Isobel”, uttered wearily

“Fine”, she shouted, she adjusted her posture, back straight, predatorily so, like a snake about to lunge at its prey

“I meant what I said when I told you I was tired of running”, Isobel explained more calmly, “So I said fuck it. We can start over here and if they try anything, well”, her unfinished sentence hung threateningly in the air.

After a couple of seconds, Michael spoke: “Then what?”

“You said it yourself, Michael”, her reply is devoid of any emotion except determination

“What? We kill them?”, disbelief embedded in his query

“You were right”, she turned her body towards her brother, assessing him with her piercing gaze, “This went on for far too long and I’m done with fleeing from a place to another, never settling down for more than a couple of months then moving across the country. I mean don’t you want more from life?”

“Listen, I’m all for killing the Jesse Manes and his minions. But don’t you think we need a plan? We can’t go in bearing our canines and growling, it’s gonna get us killed”

“Since when do you plan for anything, Michael?”

“Since it comes as a matter of life and death, Isobel!”, he screams, scrambling to his feet

The youngest fits the eldest, Max, a worried glance, prompting him to chime in, to say anything about their sister’s all but suicidal plan if you could call that a plan really. Max suddenly looks at both his feet and exhales deeply and turns to Isobel, his voice barely above a whisper:

“This is about Noah, isn’t it?”

Immediately, her eyes fill with tears at the mention of her ex-fiancé, she turns away and starts pacing, meanwhile Michael and Max stare at her, the first wide-eyed and mouth slightly agape, the other unfazed.

“Iz-“

“No, Michael. You don’t get to say anything!”, she points her wavering finger to him as tears pour out of her very soul, “You get to be happy, you get to be have the person you love because that person can protect you. I don’t”

In truth, Isobel loved Noah, she really did, though it might not have been the constant butterflies and fire in her belly like she imagined romantic love to be. In all her years, the constant moving and fear that permeated her life, no partner ever stood by her side like Noah did, not that she had had many, she never needed to, she had Noah, and he was loyal and understanding of her wishes, until he wasn’t. Not that blame fell upon him for their failed relationship, but neither did it fall on her: it wasn’t her fault. Eventually the lack of stability conjoined with lack of explanation as to why they had to move at all took a toll on their relationship and it came to bitter end. And Isobel, always fierce and defying, couldn’t find it in her to confess her secret to her, at the time, partner, because it meant risking the lives of everyone she loved. And it’s not like she had any friends, she had none, haven’t been able to keep people that aren’t related by blood to her.

Hopeless, Isobel lived her everyday trying to convince herself she wasn’t meant to find any happiness in this lifetime. Despite knowing not to risk the lives of her family, she yearned for something and as that struggle grew tenfold, she faltered and here they were. She tried to find happiness in anything else in her life but without Noah, her life seemed ever bleaker than before and something inside her cracked, like a clock’s engine giving out and suddenly she was unable function properly. Thus, she decided to drag her brothers back to Roswell in a moment of weakness.

“It’s not fair”, she croaks, “This curse, it took everything from us”

“Not the curse”, Michael corrected her gently and squeezed her shoulder tenderly, “The Manes”

“What’s the difference at this point?”, she sniffled, and fit her head on the crook of Michael’s neck, burying her woeful face

Max finally stands and trudges towards his siblings and puts his hands on the shoulder that’s not embraced by Michael

“Iz, you can’t. I know you miss him, but if you see him again you might break and he can’t know”, Max explained

“I just need to see him again, please”, she sobbed desperately

Max just looked at Michael, desperation creeping, he was out of ideas, and as for his brother, he just shrugged jerkily, already feeling desperate himself.

-

As dusk approached, and the colors of the sky grew colder and darker, the three sibling where once again in the middle of the sterile soil of New Mexico, which stretched out to the horizon and all around them, which meant they were away from humans, from their peering gaze and fragile bodies. Good, she thought, face stained with tears.

They stood there in their underwear in a circle, waiting for the moment the sun excused itself to give the moon space to make an appearance in the sky.

“Iz”, Michael tried meekly, “we’re gonna figure this out, okay?”

Isobel smiled at him weakly, as if mustering a smile was the most difficult task ever, and took his hand. Her brother, for all his confidence and snark he was one soft man.

Max took her other hand and declared it was almost time. Soon enough, they started to feel the effects of their transformation, the vibration beneath their skin, their molecules rearranging themselves, the hum in their ears growing louder. If only it was just vibrating into a wolf. If only. Their bones moved as if they had a life of their own, which in nights of full moons they did, it was a kind of pain you had no words for, their organs squished between their bone structure as their whole body shifted to a new form. The cracking and moving made an awful noise especially with their heightened senses. They fell to the ground, body accommodating their four-legged body. They’d scream if they could, but only whimpers come out. Blood streamed out of their ears, eyes and noses, and once their teeth sharpened and pierced their gums, blood poured out of their mouths as well. The hairs on their body grew, itching, long and thick as they became fur. Though the pain was excruciating, they stood in their wolf bodies for the sheer power of magic that coursed through them.

Fully transformed, they shook their bodies like a dog dripping with water would, shaking the after-effects of the metamorphosis. They assed each other, making sure they were okay. Isobel went in front of them, pearly white fur bouncing under the moonlight, her eyes emerald green, and Max followed behind, velvety black fur and honey eyes and finally Michael, golden fur and golden eyes, queued behind. They didn’t explore by themselves tonight, nor did they run free, they simply strolled aimlessly. Wandering. They roamed through the desert for what it felt like hours.

Something in the distance caught their enhanced hearing: a car, and it was speeding closer and closer, instead of running and hiding in the nearest cave they stood still. Something, instinct if you must label it, told them this was no ordinary vehicle filled with curious tourists or bored and unruly teens; this was deliberate, not an accident. So they braced themselves for the fight, knowing full well it was Jesse Manes and whoever planned to exterminate them specifically. Yes, them, their family, because even when they kept their noses clean, keeping a strict non-human (as food) for diet, the Manes were still relentless, with the exception of one Alex Manes who was disgustingly head-over-heels in love with Michael.

So they stood still, predatory stance and unyielding focus, and waited. A couple of minutes later, small spheres of yellow gleamed in the darkness of nightfall. They grew bigger and bigger until the trio saw them for what they were: headlights. A black SUV, menacingly approached them rapidly until it stopped about seven feet away from them. Out of it jumped, expectedly, Jesse Manes and someone else, someone who looked awfully similar to Alex but wasn’t. In their hands they wielded glistening silver guns which were probably loaded with silver bullets. How convenient. Arms steadily pointed at them, the siblings would have to prepare an attack that’d be quick and unexpected. No one moved, not even by inch, time seemed to have stilled and the air was as thick as their wolf fur, it was harder to breathe.

Then, something different filled the air. And of course, Michael smelled him before he saw him, his siblings who followed closely behind. The wolves’ laser-focus wavered, ears moving in a way that allowed them to pick out the sound of another car more efficiently. Noticing the distraction that took over the wolves, Jesse Manes looked at the other man questioningly who shrugged equally confused until the other SUV was parked behind Jesse’s. And out of it climbed none other than Alex Manes who without second thought shot who they realized now was his brother sided with Jesse. The shot was aimed at his knee, and he fell to the ground with a shout. Jesse had barely any time to react when a bullet pierced his chest, a clean shot to his heart and as he fell to the ground kneeling and before him stood a man, as tall as Max, maybe taller, dark hair and dark eyes, strong clenched jaw. His smelled like sweat and something incredibly sweet. He was the most beautiful thing Isobel had ever set eyes on. The clink of metal being hit brought Isobel out of her daze and she snapped her attention to her brothers seemingly unharmed. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw movement, she braced for an attack momentarily only to realize it was Alex, moving closer to them.

“Is he dead?”, Alex breathed out

��Yeah”, the other man whispered, his voice made Isobel shiver

“Can you take Flint to the hospital? I can take it from now, Greg”, Alex came closer to him and patted his shoulder, “Thanks for helping. You didn’t have to do that”, he pointed to their father’s lifeless body

“It’s fine, Alex. I should’ve protected you from him sooner”, Greg replied

Alex nodded in thanks and as Greg moved to assist Flint, who resisted the help accusing them of treason, he spared a glance to Isobel whose heart thumped so fast she thought she might have a heart attack. Then he turned back, hauled Flint up and sat him on the passenger’s seat then jogged to the driver’s seat. He drove away and took a piece of Isobel’s mind and her with him.

“It’s over guys”, Alex announced, “He is dead, and you’re safe now. My brother and I will handle Flint but we won’t let him close to you. I’ll protect you from now on”

Michael, the sap, galloped towards him, and wrapped his body around him, and rubs himself onto him like a house cat, leaning his very wolf weight on him and earning a startled laughter from his boyfriend, Alex, tumbled a bit but did not fall. Alex, who a moment before shot his own brother to keep them safe and now was gushing over Michael’s domesticated feline behavior. And Isobel knows she should feel guilty for judging her brother’s boyfriend so harshly, she should also feel relieved for being set free from the Jesse Manes’ claws. Except she feels confusion and longing directed at a man she’d just met.

She hoped she could introduce herself properly to Alex’s brother and she desperately hoped her feelings would be reciprocated.  And the very least,  possible she hoped she’d see him again.

[padfootprongslet]

I'm so down for that.

Unwind Me by delgay

“Think you can manage that? Sitting next to me, without picking a fight?” Michael challenged.

“Can you?” Alex returned.

“No idea,” Michael admitted with a sideways grin that never failed to make Alex’s stomach turn over, “But I’m eager to find out.”

Alex is avoiding everyone, but he can’t seem to escape Michael.

When I'm Oceans Away by neapeaikea

While searching for an alien child, Michael runs into Alex, ten years after Alex ran away from Roswell and broke Michael's heart.

A Soft and Elegant Semaphore by InsidiousIntent

Roswell New Mexico is moving forward. Alex Manes is not.

Breathing by EmmaArthur

Kyle calls Liz to tell her Alex is in the hospital with pneumonia. She discovers that she's missed quite a lot of her friend's life lately.

Note: Pretty much anything by this author is a stellar read. Including,  Looking Straight At The Sun

We All Act a Little Bad Sometimes by lostin_space

Alex confronts Isobel and Max on how they treat Michael.

I Never Look Away by Adillard

Post 1x13 fic. With Rosa alive and Max dead, there are a lot of things to figure out. Michael and Alex have to work through things and talk about things that neither wants to.

Mostly Malex with more of Echo to come- my version of season 2 :)

Mostly focuses on Michael and Alex's perspective of things.

More chapters to come-

A Simple Life (but with aliens) by BeStillMySlashyHeart

“I’m leaving Roswell,” he said again, firmer this time. “But I don’t want to leave you.”

Michael’s brow furrowed and he shifted to look at Alex. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I like you. A lot. And I don’t want to lose whatever this is between us. It sounds crazy, I know, we hardly know each other, but-”

“Yeah,” Michael breathed and his face lit up in wonder. “You feel it too?”

Alex moves back to Roswell ten years after leaving but it's not a fractured maybe of a relationship he's coming home to. No. This time, he's coming home to his family.

[The Season 1 rewrite no one asked for where Michael and Alex have been in a long distance relationship since high school and it changes things]

We both carry a switchblade in our sleeves by soberqueerinthewild

An Isobel & Alex post-finale friendship fic. Includes self defense classes and a whole lot of sass.

Team Mutual Support System by Obsessivecompulsivereadr

“Are we developing a mutual support system here?”

“Why not?” she asked.  “We’ve both been fucked over by people who were supposed to love us.  Who better to understand me than you?”

The Cost of Greatness by BeStillMySlashyHeart, reachedthebitterend

“You broke up with Maria,” Alex said quietly, his surprise evident in his voice.

Michael nodded again.

“Why?”

Michael stared at him before laughing lightly. “Are you serious?”

Alex blinked. “I didn’t think you’d-”

“What? Leave her?” Michael leaned back in his chair, his fingers tapping on the arm as he looked at Alex. “I meant what I said Alex. Being with Maria was easy and it was good but that’s all. And I just- I’ve had great. I want great. And I know that I’ll never find it anywhere else. With anyone else.” He leaned forward. “I want you, Alex.”

if you ever wanna be in love (i'll come around) by fraudulentzodiacs

Alex is through walking away, now he's going to prove it to Michael.

Like you wanted it forever. by caitlesshea

In the months since Maria and Michael have started dating, Alex has steered clear of both of them. So what does he do when Maria calls in a panic and can't find Michael? Help of course. He's family.

Or

A Secret Marriage AU nobody asked for.

But I Still Care by Sismyn

Alex tells Rosa the story of Malex. She doesn't like the current ending.

How Do We Fix What's Broken by Sweetgirl2019

Picks up where the finale ended. The aftermath of everything that happened. Lots of angst and a violent exchange in the first chapter.

words echo out yesterday by estel_willow

He keeps telling himself ten more minutes. He’ll wait another ten minutes and then he’ll leave, go back to the cabin and think very carefully about his life choices. He never quite knows what to do with himself when he’s waiting, sitting and hoping for the sounds of Michael’s truck to rumble into view. He’s not good at waiting when there’s no military payoff but here he is, regardless, sitting and waiting for someone who may never come. He checks the time again.

Ten more minutes, he thinks. Ten more minutes.

sometimes letting go is part of loving, (but I never want to) by itsmylifekay

In the wake of Michael and Maria and alien conspiracies, Alex is just trying to keep moving forward, to do what he can to fix the mess his life has become. That generally means avoiding Michael. Unfortunately, the universe has other plans.

Or, five time Michael holds on and one time he doesn't.(it ends well, I promise)

Hearts will hold by InsidiousIntent

He never falls out of love, but he thinks he definitely falls in love, actually.

Note: This one fucking hurts and includes Michael cheating on Alex with Maria, if that’s not your thing.

Cosmic Agony by BeStillMySlashyHeart

The problem with not letting many people in is that when you need someone, it's a short list.

Michael and Alex are both dealing with a lot and in their lowest moments they can only turn to each other. Somehow, this develops to the point where they can no longer go to sleep without the other.

Which is a bit of a problem, considering Michael's dating Maria.

Just You & Me by Sweetgirl2019

After Michael chooses Maria in the finale, Alex decides he needs to make a change. When Michael realizes his mistake, will it be too late?

Now Who’s the Coward? by a1_kitkat

Kyle is angry at how Michael & Maria treated Alex so when he sees the couple together, he gives them a piece of his mind

every traveler, please come home by AndreaLyn

Michael gets sent back in time to relive the best and worst day of his life. Then he does it over and over until he realizes that he has a chance to fix it.

he made me feel (like i belonged) by estel_willow

He heard the sound of giggling from inside and then Michael's voice, soft and low. He knew he should move away but some masochistic part of him had him standing where he was as he heard Maria say Michael's name in a way that definitely wasn't platonic and the bottom dropped out of his stomach. He felt nauseated.

Blood was pounding in his ears and Alex just stood there dumbly for a moment before he shrugged off his backpack and put it on the floor, just underneath the steps where it was obscured but Michael would know it was there as soon as he moved the trailer to go into his bunker.

He breathed out again, past the cloying tightness in his chest. Hadn't they just talked about starting over? Doing it the right way? Hadn't Maria promised him it would never happen again, that it had meant nothing? The way she moaned his name didn't sound like the moan of a dirty, no good, Texas rounder.

This Is Gospel by BillieJoeArmstrong

A weird glowing rock forces Alex to tell the truth.

I just want you to know who I am by littlecountrymouse

It takes them the whole weekend with a break in the middle to get through as much of Michael’s heritage as possible, but it’s eleven PM on Sunday night, and that little voice in Michael’s head reminds him that Alex still hasn’t asked about the situation with Maria.

Not even twenty seconds later, Alex pipes up, his voice carefully neutral, and Michael wonders if the smart little shit is more telepathic than Isobel, or if he just jinxed himself.

“So, why Maria?”

trying to find my peace of mind by alexmanes

Alex doesn't understand why his husband has been so distant lately, but he's determined to get to the bottom of their marital problems. One way or another, he's going to get the answers he so desperately wants.

[chiefnooniensingh]

I Won’t Hesitate (for you) Chapter 10

Chapter 10: I can’t keep it all together

In this chapter: In the past, Isobel Bracken-Evans finds something that changes her life forever. In the present, time is running out and Alex is stuck. Michael is more and more honest, but is he as trustworthy as he seems?

A/n: A little shorter than usual perhaps, but we're hurtling towards the end here. Anyone have any idea yet?

As always, a special thanks to Aileen (@acomebackstory), Callie (@callieramics), @hm-arn, @royalshadowhunter, @ladymajavader and May (@merlinss) over on Tumblr for their continued support and cheerleading. I don’t know if I would’ve finished it without you guys! 

So @Lire_Casander guessed both last week's title and the one the week before that. Chapter 7 was called You should give me a chance (this can't be the end), which is one of the most heartbreaking lines of the song Still in love with you by the Scorpions, and I always imagine Malex while singing it. I even made a gifset of it. Chapter 8 was called Come Back (I still need you) which is from Hold on by Chord Overstreet.

Can anyone guess this week's?

also on: ao3

other chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

June, 1934

Isobel Evans-Bracken was clearing out the attic of their new house. They’d been living there for well over a year, yet the attic had filled up with their stuff fairly quickly, as stuff was wont to do. Old reports cards and art projects Mrs Evans had kept, and Isobel had never had the heart to throw away; pictures of her and her brothers before she and Max were adopted; toys from when she was little – okay, so maybe it was mostly her stuff. Her husband wasn’t a sentimental man, he barely had anything from his youth. Isobel knew precious little about that time in his life because it was very painful for him to talk about. She knew he fled a colonized, war-riddled country after the Great War and had a hard time adjusting to the States. But the circumstances that caused him to leave, the hardships of living in and not being accepted in a new, strange country, those details he had never shared with anyone.

She loved and trusted him anyway. If he ever wanted to share those details in time, she would be there to listen.

In the back Isobel found some boxes she didn’t recognize. There was no name scribbled on the sides and she couldn’t even remember these being part of the many, many boxes the movers took upstairs for storage. Odd. She pulled one towards her and opened it, curiosity getting the better of her, as it often did.

“Izzy? Are you home?”

“I’m upstairs, darling!” Isobel called down as she took out several yellowed newspaper clippings. They were all connected to a 15-year-old cold case, a little girl who was murdered in Roswell, New Mexico. Isobel sorted through them, going from the first “Ortecho Family Drama Unfolds” clipping, to the discovery of the body two weeks later. Why was Noah keeping these?

“What are you doing in the attic?” Noah’s voice was coming closer, climbing the stairs towards her.

“Oh, just sorting through some of my stuff,” she said absentmindedly as she flipped through the newspapers. “You know, old memories and – ” She broke off mid-sentence as she came to the date of the arrest of the one and only viable suspect. A picture was next to the short report of the arrest and the young man, whose identity was not known at the time. She knew it though.

It was Noah.

He was about 20 in this picture, and since it was 1920, the timeline matched roughly with him fleeing his country. He looked younger, thinner and harder. But Isobel recognized him immediately.

“Old memories?” Noah’s voice was now almost at the attic door and Isobel jerked out of her stupor. She stuffed the newspapers back in the box and pushed them to the side, grabbing some art projects from a nearby pile, just in time before the attic door opened and Noah came in, smiling. She held up her projects, working hard to bring a smile on her face and not giving anything away.

They spend the rest of the afternoon looking at her projects and old pictures and Isobel, having learned from early childhood to lie through her teeth, pretended nothing was wrong.

The next day, after Noah had gone to work, she went back to the attic and took out the box again. Now with more time she spread the newspaper clippings out before her and examining them more closely. Now she saw Noah’s tiny handwriting in the margins. If before she could pretend this was just her husband’s weird hobby, after reading some of his notes, she couldn’t deny the truth any longer.

His note under the news of the discovery of Rosa’s body was especially damning. Weren’t supposed to find her this soon. Cover tracks immediately.

Isobel let out a single, shocked sob.

The note by the news that Jim Valenti had killed herself made her blood run cold. Good riddance.

Her husband had killed Rosa Ortecho and had gotten away with it.

She had married a murderer.

Present day, 22nd of October, 1935

“No one gets off this train without being accompanied by me or the staff from the other carriages, is that clear?” Alex stood in front of the train door, having arrived just in time to stop people from swarming onto the platform for one last breath of fresh air before the final leg of the journey. Every face he saw was mutinous, but Alex couldn’t risk anyone escaping. Kyle was locked up for now, but the mystery was by no means solved. Someone else still could’ve committed the crime, could still be planning to run.

“Can I at least get out?” His father appeared beside the other travellers, his nose still very noticeably broken, a front tooth missing. Alex felt a savage pleasure at seeing the tables turned.

Alex shrugged. “I could literally not give any less of a fuck what you do with your time.”

Despite the hard feelings towards him, the other passengers sniggered, which made Jesse Manes turn red. He shouldered passed Alex and disembarked the train, letting in a blast of cold air. But it was clear they’d cleared the Alps; the cold wasn’t as biting as it had been. Michael stepped up, looking sheepish. Alex knew why; he was feeling it, too. They were each other’s something, which made this entire situation all the more complicated. They didn’t know how to act around each other. “I need to call Jack, tell him we’ve arrived at Lausanne.”

“Yes, alright. I’ll have to accompany you,” Alex said, opening the door and allowing Michael to get out ahead of him.

“Well, if you must,” Michael said, with a mock tone of exasperation. Alex followed him to the phone booth on the platform, then sat down on a bench a few feet away, taking out his notebook and going over it all for what felt like the eight thousandth time. He knew most of it by heart now, but that didn’t mean it made the mystery any clearer.

He was still immersed when Michael sat down next to him. “Jack says the Compagnie is not pleased by our delay. I told him to tell them to ‘stuff it’. I’m not sure he will.”

Alex snorted, looking up from his notebook and straight into Michael’s eyes. They were twinkling lightly, as if a murderer had never ruined this trip beyond repair. “You always did have a way with words.”

“I try.”

Alex shook his head with a smile and looked back down to his notebook. “I don’t think I can figure it out, Michael,” he said after a minute silence. Michael looked up, his eyes filled with sympathy. “Literally anyone could’ve done this. Sure, there are several people with motive. Kyle, Max, Isobel – ”

“ – me,” added Michael, with a half-smile. At Alex’s shocked expression. “Come on, Alex, you know you can’t deny it. I have as much motive as Max has. I love Isobel. I don’t know if the allegations of abuse were true, but you know I would never have waited to find out if those rumours reached me.”

“Yes, but I know you – ”

“You saying I’m not capable of murder?”

“No, I’m saying you wouldn’t have the patience to wait around and plan a perfect murder. You’re impulsive and rash and emotional and if someone hurts someone you love, you don’t wait to get retribution. You find it immediately.”

Michael choked out a surprised laugh. “Well, you’re not wrong. I’m surprised you still know so much about me.”

Alex brushed his hand against Michael’s, only briefly, but enough for the familiar rush of warmth go through him. “I don’t think I ever could’ve forgotten about you.”

Michael grabbed Alex’s hand and pressed a swift kiss to the back of it. “You’re a foolish romantic, Alexander Manes.”

“I know. Always been my problem.”

The two of them looked at each other, before Michael tore his eyes away. “So what are you going to do when we get to Paris?”

“I don’t know. I have to give the police something. There was a murder on this train. I can’t show up empty-handed after three days spent with all the suspects.”

“Tell me your thoughts,” Michael said, sitting up straight and giving him his undivided attention.

Alex blinked, surprised. “Okay,” he said, then opened his book. “Noah Bracken, 35, murdered in a locked room. Stab wounds to the chest. No stab wound is identical. It’s like the person stabbing him tried to make it look like different people did it.” Michael straightened further, giving Alex a nod to continue. “Isobel is the most obvious suspect, since she was in the room. But there’s nothing else that points to her, and if it’s true she took Barbital, she was physically incapable of waking up. Max Evans lied about being her brother and was seen fighting with Noah just a few weeks before the murder, possibly about Isobel. You brought on board the murder weapon – which you stole from my house fifteen years ago, I might add – and turned out to be Isobel’s other brother. Kyle has the strongest motive, seeing as his father killed himself in the wake of the Ortecho case. But he supposedly has an alibi, provided by Maria, whose alibi was first her mother and then Kyle, which makes her a very shaky character witness. Mr Otto tried to run, his daughter’s alibi has him sleeping. However, she was apparently also talking to Max Evans. The murder was committed at 4:30, not 3, a fact Kyle knew and decided to conceal, along with his true identity…” He trailed off, sighing deeply. “I’m at a loss. I don’t know what to tell the police. I can’t give them anything.”

“Would that be so bad?” Michael said softly, and Alex looked at him startled. “Noah Bracken was a terrible person, a murderer. Would it be so bad to, I don’t know, let his murderer get away with it?”

Alex rested his head against the station walls behind him and let out a long sigh. “I don’t know if I can. I’ve always had a very clear moral code. And no matter what crimes a person committed, they should always get a fair trial. Murder is not an excuse for murder.” He looked at Michael with a sad smile. “I’m a murderer, too, you know.” Michael looked back at him, shocked, and Alex swallowed. He’d never told anyone about this particular dark place of his psyche, but he pressed on. “I murdered dozens of faceless men on the battlefield. I am a murderer. And I got away with it. Because it was in service of my country. That…injustice to my victims will never go away. But I can try and give other victims justice. That’s why I became a private investigator after I was injured. To make up for the murders I got away with.”

“Oh, Alex…” Michael began, but then jumped up as the train whistle blew. “Jesus, we have to leave! Get on the train, quickly!”

They ran inside and only just jumped on when the train lurched into motion. Out of breath, the two men leaned against the train wall, both chuckling. “You know, Alex,” Michael said, turning his head to look at him with a smile, “I think you’re closer than you think you are. You have all the puzzle pieces, I’m sure of it. Now you just gotta find how they fit together.”

He closed the distance between them and pressed a light kiss to Alex’s lips, before sauntering off in the direction of his cabin. Alex stayed behind, biting his lower lip pensively, his thoughts whirling.

Most of his thoughts were devoted to the question that was driving him insane; was Michael guilty or not? He tried his hardest to push it to the background, because he didn’t know the answer and it wasn’t helping. He still had almost a day before they would arrive in Paris and he needed to figure it out before then.

Even if Noah Bracken was an absolute monster, he deserved justice. Just like Rosa Ortecho had deserved justice.

Alex looked at himself in the reflection of a window. He scoffed when he realized the truth in his eyes; this hadn’t been about justice for quite a while now. It was a mixture of pride and protectiveness. Alex protected those he loved, and even ten years apart hadn’t stopped him loving Michael.

He wanted to solve this case to prove that he could. He wanted to solve this case to clear Michael’s name. Preferably, the solution would lead to both outcomes.

Worrying his bottom lip with his teeth, he went over to the Bracken’s cabin, which had been locked after Isobel had been moved into Miss Otto’s cabin for the remainder of the journey. He took out Michael’s keys and opened it. The body had been moved to the freezer in the kitchens for preservation, but the rest of the cabin remained untouched. Alex turned to look at the inside of the door, inspecting it closely, hoping to find any clue. A handprint. A hair. Anything that would help Alex in his search for the murderer. Not even the lock was picked, there were no scratches or signs of damage on it whatsoever.

It meant the killer had either had a key or had left through the window.

That information helped exactly no one, because those had always been the only two options of this murder, shy of Isobel having murdered her husband herself, which Alex still didn’t think the most likely of options. He straightened up and looked around the cabin. He crouched down, realized his leg wouldn’t allow it and sat down completely instead, changing his perspective. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine a scenario.

It was evening, Mr and Mrs Bracken had just returned to their cabin, exhausted after a long day of travelling. “Darling, can you give me the Barbital, please?” Isobel asked. Noah handed the bottle to her without speaking. He changed into his pyjamas and got into bed, while Isobel rummaged some more. “I ordered some tea,” Isobel said, arranging her pillows.

“That is excellent, my sweet,” Noah said, already half asleep.

There was a heavy knocking on the door and the door opened to reveal Michael, who was holding a tea tray. “Here you go, Mrs Bracken,” Michael said, his eyes flickering to Mr Bracken, who threw him a dirty look for having woken him up. “A good night to you both,” Michael continued, seemingly unbothered. With a nod and a smile at Isobel, he left.

Isobel poured out the tea and handed a cup to her husband. They drank in silence, before Isobel dropped a kiss to Noah’s cheek and went to bed herself. Noah dropped off to sleep almost immediately, but Isobel stared at the ceiling for a good long while.

Alex opened his eyes, wondering how close to the truth this scenario was. Was this when Noah Bracken had been sedated? Had Isobel put the Barbital in his tea? Or had Michael done that? He looked around the cabin again, trying to reset the scenario. He settled his back against the door and tried to get comfortable for a few rundowns of possible scenarios.

He was going to be here a while.

[bestillmyslashyheart]

 “For fuck’s sake, guys! We’re NOT dating” - Malex (but they are dating)

Happy happy birthday @caitlesshea!!!! (And I’m actually on the right day this time yay!) I hope you are having a wonderful day!

Michael grinned as he looked around the room. Next to him, Isobel and Maria were quickly getting into a heated debate about something that he didn’t understand. He’d tried to follow along but it involved too much psychic-ness for him to process. Watching the two of them get more and more animated as they clearly enjoyed the back and forth was far more entertaining, to be honest. He knew it should be weird, watching his sister and his ex-girlfriend flirt right in front of him but so much of his life was weird that he just brushed it off.

Across the room, Liz and Kyle were trying to be overproductive older siblings to Rosa. Every time Rosa grabbed something to drink, one of her two younger siblings would snatch it out of her hand with a glare. Michael was trying to decide over/under five minutes before Rosa lost it on both of them. 

Next to them, Alex, Max, and Cam seemed lost in a conversation about some kind of weapon. Michael wasn’t entirely sure which one, only catching every third word or so from where he stood, but they were all smiling so he assumed it wasn’t a weapon meant to wipe out all aliens on Earth.

They’d gotten rid of that when they’d dismantled Project Shepherd for good. Hopefully, at least.

All of that was behind them now. Jesse Manes, Noah, Max being dead, all of it. They’d suffered through it all and made it out the other side somehow and Michael was insanely grateful. But more than that, he thought idly as he let his eyes rake over Alex’s form, he was grateful that he hadn’t completely fucked over his relationship with Alex in the midst of all the madness.

It had been touch and go there for a while, especially after Caulfield and Michael dating Maria, but that was all in their past. Now, they were friends. Actually, really friends for the first time in their relationship. And it was great. It let them have days like today.

Michael sipped his beer without looking away from Alex. The other man had shown up at his door early this morning and whisked him away on a whirlwind tour around Roswell. Notably, their old haunts. It had been a gorgeous day and Alex had planned a picnic out in the desert where they used to go play guitars, even bringing two guitars with him so they could play together again.

Michael closed his eyes briefly at the memory. It was only a few hours ago but he already knew it was a memory he’d cherish forever. 

“Oi!” Liz called as she joined his little group. “Stop ogling your boyfriend.” She teased.

Michael rolled his eyes. The rest of them had taken to making cracks about their relationship lately and it was starting to annoy him.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” He shot back.

Liz gave him a look of disbelief. “Right, right. You’re just ‘friends’.” She made air quotes with her fingers.

“We are.” Michael insisted. 

Isobel and Maria both scoffed, finally tuning into the new conversation happening right next to them. Michael glared at them. “We are.”

“I hate to be the one to break it to you, Mikey,” Liz put a patronizing hand on his arm. “You two are in a relationship. Congrats!” She took a sip of her beer while Maria and Isobel nodded and made noises of agreement.

“For fuck’s sake, guys! We’re not dating!” Michael yelled and the room went silent. Michael winced before looking at Alex. He had paused with his beer halfway to his lips as everyone turned to stare at him. He looked at Michael then at everyone else and shrugged.

“We’re not.” He agreed. “We’re just friends.”

Cam snorted. “Friends. Right. Yeah, totally.” She shook her head slightly as she gave them both a mock thumbs up.

“We are.” Alex insisted quietly.

“Uhuh,” Cam answered. “You know what I do for all of my friends? I plan a surprise birthday party just for them even though they have two siblings just so they don’t have to share a party.” Michael’s eyes widened as he watched a blush spread over Alex’s cheeks. He hadn’t known that the party tonight was Alex’s idea. He’d just assumed it was Isobel’s. Or maybe Maria’s. “Oh! And I definitely, absolutely, always plan a super romantic picnic just the two of us in the middle of an entire day of plans with just the two of us because I can’t bear to not spend their birthday with them. That’s exactly what I do with all of my friends.” She glared at Alex as he started to fidget. Around the room, their friends were smiling and laughing. Some tried to be polite and hide it behind their hands but some, like Liz and Kyle, were just outright chortling. 

After a beat Alex shrugged again. “Ok fine. Maybe we’re dating.”

“Maybe,” Kyle agreed sarcastically.

“Hey, don’t I get a say in any of this?” Michael butt in teasingly. Except the way Alex froze told him that Alex didn’t take it as a tease. 

Michael rolled his eyes and put his beer down on the table before rounding the couch and crossing the room. Alex watched him approach but didn’t say anything or move towards him.

“I don’t remember you ever asking me out.” Michael said softly, ignoring everyone else. “I was kinda hoping for flowers. Maybe some chocolate? You said when we did this for real we were going to do this right. Dating me without me knowing it doesn’t seem right.”

The tips of Alex’s ears turned bright red as he glanced towards the kitchen. Across the room, Kyle sputtered as he tried to hold in a laugh. Michael just raised an eyebrow as Alex took a sip of his beer. 

“There uh-there might be flowers in the kitchen,” Alex admitted softly when he put the bottle down next to him.

“Oh yeah?” Michael asked, a grin spreading slowly across his lips.

“We gotta do it right, right?” Alex shrugged one shoulder as he stared at Michael’s lips.

“Right,” Michael agreed softly as they collided together. 

He thought he might have heard a whoop behind him as he cupped Alex’s face and felt his fingers in his curls but he ignored it in favor of savoring the taste and feel of Alex’s lips. As the kiss dragged on, he started to hear some grumblings from their audience but he only tilted Alex’s head for a better angle as they kept kissing.

Finally, a shove at his shoulder forced them to break apart. Michael turned to glare at Max, the effect ruined somewhat by his kiss-swollen lips and mild panting, but he thought his point came across. Max shook his head at him and looked away. 

“Save it for later. Please.” He begged mildly. “When we’re all gone.”

Michael swung an arm around to point at the door.

“Thanks for coming. Have a good night and drive safe!” Alex told them all as he dug a hand into the waistband of Michael’s jeans and pulled him back in.

Michael was helpless to resist as he fell back into Alex’s arms.

Later, when they finally broke apart long enough to speak, the room was empty, everyone having taken their cue and fled.

“Happy Birthday,” Alex told him softly. He pressed another quick kiss to his lips before adding, “old man.”

“Old man!?” Michael pulled back, offended. “I’m 29!”

“Yeah and I’m 28. Which makes you the old man.” Alex retorted, a grin playing at the corners of his lips. Michael started to object but Alex stole the words right out of his mouth with another hungry kiss. 

“Lucky for you, I like older men.” 

[spaceskam]

i’ve only kissed out of fear (1/4)

Summary: a malex secret marriage au when they’re in high school, part 1 (title: readiness is all by atta boy) warnings: mentions of child abuse

part one - part two

ao3

“One more week.”

“Please don’t remind me.”

Michael’s eyes flickered up to get a good glimpse at Alex’s face.  They were in the bed of his truck and had his head in Alex’s lap as he painted his nails for probably the last time.  Michael hated thinking that in 7 days, Alex would be stripped of his personality and given camouflage.  His hatred only grew when he remembered that Alex might only come back in a box.

“I’m never gonna see you again, huh?” Michael asked, mindlessly picking at the hem of his tattered shirt.

“I don’t want to talk about this, Guerin.” Alex said, shutting him down in that voice that screamed ‘Manes Man’.  Michael hated when he spoke that way.

“We need to.”

“No, we really don’t.”

“Yes, we do!” Michael sat up sharply, finally getting Alex to look him in the eye.  “I love you, Alex, and you’re about to be sent to fucking war.  I don’t want that to be it.  I don’t want to just have you ripped away from me to never see or hear from you again.  I’m going to spend the rest of my life worrying, wondering if you’re alive or if you’re laying in the desert on the other side of the world with a bullet in you.  I can’t live like that, it’s going to drive me insane.”

“We don’t have a choice,” Alex argued, wearing a face that belonged to Jesse Manes.  It made him look away.  He wanted to argue, but he didn’t have a foot to stand on.  If they ran away, his father would hunt them down.  If Alex told him no, his dad would probably beat him into submission.  Any option ended in pain.  That was just their stupid fucking life.

“I wish there were more options,” Michael whispered, borderline pouting as his back thudded against the side of the bed.  “I’m just… God, I don’t want to go my whole life not knowing if you’re alright.  No one’s gonna tell me if something happens to you.  It isn’t fair.”

“Well… There’s one option.” Alex said softly.  Michael’s head shot up.  Alex was still looking down at his fingers, carefully touching up his nails as if he didn’t just say there might be a solution to their problems.

“What do you mean?  What option?” Michael asked, sitting up.  Alex didn’t say anything and Michael crawled a little closer.  “Alex?  What option?”

“We could get married,” Alex suggested simply.  Michael’s heart skipped a beat at the suggestion, anxiety pulsing through all the way to his fingertips.  He was sure his entire body had turned red.  

“We… we’re only eighteen.” Michael muttered out as he stared at Alex.  The idea of getting married sounded so, so insane.  Especially since it wasn’t even legal.  But the longer he stared at Alex, even though he wasn’t looking back, the more he felt like he would do it.  If marrying Alex on a whim meant a working solution, he’d do it.

“Yeah, I know, forget it.  It’s just the only thing I could think of where you’d be notified if something happened to me.” Alex said, grumbling to himself as he tried to focus on his nails even more.  Michael scooted closer and grabbed his hand with his good one, making him look at him even though he was careful not to smudge the wet polish.  All he needed was Alex to say it again, to say it was a good idea again, and he’d do it.  They’d do it.

“How would we do it?  Like, how would it work?  Since it’s not legal and… and is it even allowed?” Michael asked, holding his hand a little tighter.  Alex’s eyes flickered around his face, biting down on his lip.

“Uh, domestic partnership technically, I guess.  We could… go to Santa Fe, have a ceremony and stuff. And DADT is in place, but it’d still make it easier for you to be put on, like, my emergency contacts.  Besides, what’s the worst they could do?  Kick me out?” Mischief danced in Alex’s eyes, fueling Michael’s smile as they laced their fingers together.  It sounded good.  Better than good, actually.  Fuck, them getting married could mean Alex wouldn’t be allowed in at all.  How awesome would that be?

“Yeah, yeah, that sounds good,” Michael said softly, kissing the back of Alex’s hand.  He shifted to sit up on his knees along with Michael, their foreheads leaning against one another.  Smiles were on both of their faces, involuntary laughter bubbling as they let their decision sink in.  Fuck.

“So… Michael Guerin, the man of my dreams who gives me something to look forward to, will you do me the great honor of becoming my husband?” Alex giggled out.  Michael’s toes curled inside his shoes, knocking his feet together as he squeezed Alex’s hand.  Those words felt so surreal.  He never thought anyone would like him, much less want to marry him.  He had issues.  He wasn’t human.  He didn’t deserve Alex.

But, by some force of nature, he had him.

“Yeah, I will.” Michael agreed.  If possible, Alex smiled even wider and moved to wrap his arms around Michael’s neck.  They wrapped each other up in a hug, Michael holding him so tight he was shaking.

This was incredible.  This was everything.  Alex was everything.

“Fuck, we’re gonna get married.” Michael murmured, pulling away just enough to grab Alex’s face.  “When?  We got a week.”

“Uh, let’s leave tomorrow morning,” Alex said, grabbing Michael’s wrists and rubbing small circles into them, “We can go to, to a courthouse or call for any, like, last minute chapels if you want.  Then we can get a motel room for the night and drive back here the next day.  I’ll tell my dad I stayed with Liz.”

Michael licked his lips, “I don’t have money for a motel room.” Even that statement came with amusement.  He was giddy with the excitement of the whole thing.  He dreamed of this, dreamed of loving someone like he loved Alex.  Somehow, out of all the shit that happened to them both, luck was on their side.

“I bet my dad does,” Alex said, raising his eyebrows.  Michael let out a surprised laugh before closing the space, finally kissing his boyfriend.  No, fiancé.  How fucking fancy is that?

Celebratory kisses were a different feeling.  There was nothing frantic about it, there was nothing sad.  All the sadness that had pushed them to this decision seemed to be easily ignored when they let themselves focus on nothing more than them being together.  A legally binding contract that insisted they were important to each other, that they would be together forever regardless of how accurate that actually was.

It sounded too good to be true because it was.  But nothing was stopping him from doing it anyway.  Within a handful of minutes, Michael discovered celebratory sex was even better than celebratory kisses.  Sex with Alex had always been good, even their first time when Alex basically had to direct him.  Alex had somehow managed to take Michael’s awkward fumbling and made it into something hot.  It was like a secret talent he had.  Michael wasn’t sure if he was envious or just really fucking lucky.

“You know, I’m glad you mentioned this now and that we’re going tomorrow.  Then we get a few days of being husbands before you have to leave.” Michael whispered, stroking Alex’s cheek as he laid curled up at his side.

“I’ll look into tonight, see where we can go,” Alex said in response, propping his chin against Michael’s bare chest.  Michael ran his hand through Alex’s dark hair, his eyes fluttering closed when his fingers caught a knot.  God, he was beautiful.  “What time is it?”

The question was a reminder of their actual situation.  Alex had a curfew, he had a dangerously strict father.  He could get away for tomorrow, but he didn’t want to risk their plans by being late tonight.  So Michael felt around for Alex’s phone, finding it in the corner beside the tire.

“7:45.  Also, you have a text from Maria.” Michael said, sighing when he realized they had to leave soon.  After the night in the shed, Alex’s curfew had been moved from 10PM to 8:30.  As if that would keep Alex from hooking up with guys.  Can’t be gay before 9PM.

“What’d she say?”

“Said she wants to throw a party for you before you leave,” Michael said, putting the phone down.  He let his eyes drift down to his new fiancé.

“You should come,” Alex suggested.  Michael had never actually been invited to a party that wasn’t thrown by Isobel.  He smiled.  

“Okay.”

They eventually got dressed and climbed into the front seat of the truck.  Michael took Alex’s hand in his own.  That felt nice.  It felt so casual for them.

Still, Michael dropped him off a few blocks down just in case, sending him off with a sweet kiss and the promise to meet him at 7 the next morning.  The drive to Santa Fe was a long on and it would be all his savings on gas money, but it was worth it.  They’d be 3 hours away and married and happy in their own bubble for a night.

After dropping off Alex, Michael drove straight to the Evans’ residence.  No communication was necessary as Isobel snuck him through her window so he could take a shower and grabbed his dirty clothes to throw in the wash with her own.  They’d fallen into this routine ever since he’d run away from his last foster home and it would probably remain until Michael could afford a place to live on his own.  He’d originally planned to be moving into a dorm in the next few weeks, but that was no longer an option.  He was needed here.

Naturally, his thoughts drifted back to Alex once he stepped under the stream of hot water.  Michael would never say it out loud, but there was a part of him that was jealous that Alex was getting away.  It wasn’t in the way he wanted to leave, but at least he’d be doing something that was bigger than Roswell.  Michael was nothing more than a bum.  That’s all he’d ever be.  

Yet, Alex still wanted to be married to that.  He wanted to legally bind himself to a deadbeat.  It brought back that giddy, undeserving feeling low in his stomach.  No one was that good.  Except Alex.  Beautiful, talented, brilliant Alex who loved him even though his father had tried to beat the love out.

Alex, who Michael was lying to.

Michael hated lies.  He’d surrounded himself in them and, with each day that passed, let them consume his soul a little more.  Alex was a grounding force and Michael feared the lies would swallow him whole once Alex was gone.  All that did was make him want to be honest with him even more.

They’d made a pact.  He, Isobel, and Max had promised they would tell no one, regardless of how much they wanted to.  It was for their own safety, no one could be trusted with something that serious.  No matter how much they loved them, no matter how much they promised not to tell, it would still be risky.  He didn’t want Alex to ever be put in a situation where he was being interrogated for information about aliens.

But he also didn’t want Alex to be married to someone and not even know that they’re not human.  Michael had amazing control over his powers after years of work, but shit happens and if Alex had to find out what he was due to him losing control, he would never forgive himself.  It felt like betrayal.

He needed to tell him.

“Why do you look like that?” Isobel asked as they sat on her bed.  Water droplets dripped from his hair and wet his shirt as Isobel tightly wrapped his hand with fresh gauze.  The external wounds had healed, but it still hurt to move it too much and he hated looking at it.  Alex did too.

“Like what?”

“Like… happy.” she smiled, raising her eyebrow.  “And you’ve got a hickey on your neck so I can only assume some girl made you look like that.”

“Who said it was a girl?” he asked.  Isobel paused, a smile slowly finding her face as she cocked her head to the side.

“Michael, are you trying to tell me something?” she asked.  He thought about telling her the truth, but that wasn’t really an option.  Admitting he was getting married would only make her mad that she wasn’t invited.  Besides, as exciting as it was, at the end of the day it was only so he would know if Alex got hurt or worse.  That was it.

“Nah, it’s not serious.” Isobel could take what she wanted from that.  She rested her hand on his cheek.

“If they make you happy, I don’t care who or what they are.  You deserve happiness, Michael.  No matter what you’ve done.” Isobel promised, her smile so sweet that he knew she couldn’t possibly mean what it sounded like.  But he couldn’t even manage a smile.  He just wanted Alex.  He never looked at him like that. Maybe he would if he knew his secret.

Maybe it was worth the risk.

“They do,” Michael said simply.  She smiled.

“Good,” Isobel stood to her feet and went towards the door so she could go get his clothes from the dryer.  “You know you can stay here if you want.  That truck can’t be comfortable.”

“Nah, it’s cool, I have stuff to do in the morning.  Don’t wanna wake you,” he said.  She nodded and stepped out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Michael leaned back against her headboard, his eyes following the ceiling fan.  He wanted to be happy and he wanted that with Alex.  The only way he could do that without any burdens for the rest of his life would be by telling Alex the truth.  Even if that meant risking his life or risking Alex never looking at him the same way, it would better than living a lie with the man he loved who had trusted him with unparalleled vulnerability. Alex would come to him beaten and crying and trusted him with that.  Michael could trust him with his secret too.

And that’s exactly what he planned to do.

[planetsam]

"Now i feel how it's like to be left behind and i wish i never came back from war." for Malex please. Alex is spiraling into depression after Michael got together with Maria.

“Are you Michael? Alex’s friend?”

Michael frowns and fights the urge to deny he has that title. The voice on the other end definitely doesn’t seem to care about the situation and Michael doesn’t actually want to share. So he swipes his hand through his curls and ignores the emotions that title brings up.

“Yeah,” he says, “what’s going on?”

“He’s down at the Fourth Encounter. I took his keys but he’s being stubborn.”

“I’m on my way,” Michael says.

He gets in the car with the energy under his skin crackling. He hasn’t seen Alex in weeks and Alex hasn’t tried to see him. It’s another unspoken thing that Michael doesn’t have room for. But he’s seen Alex subtly taking medications before. Medications that he’s willing to bet aren’t supposed to be taken with alcohol. He’s never seen Alex truly drunk and he’s got a feeling the experience is not going to be pleasant. He almost wonders why Alex just didn’t go to the Wild Pony, but in his heart he knows.

When he gets there the music is loud and it’s a lot darker than any place he expected to find Alex in. It’s not that he doesn’t know about the local gay bar, it’s just not his style. You don’t need to like loud music and neon to be bisexual as far as he can tell. It’s the middle of the week so things are toned down and it’s a little more empty, which is how he easily finds Alex. Even before the bartender signals him.

“Hey,” he says, “you ready to go?”

“You called him?” Alex says, looking at the bartender. Michael can’t be sure but he thinks Alex blushes, “traitor,” he mutters and then turns to Michael with a smile that makes Michael regret picking up his phone, “I’m good.”

“I’m exhausted, so let’s go,” he says. Alex ignores him, “look, I’ll call a cab and just wait with you.”

“Don’t worry about me,” Alex says.

Michael far prefers it when he’s the one getting wasted. But he hooks his fingers in the stool and tries to turn it. Of course he forgets Alex is the bionic man and when he hooks his metal ankle into the chair, that thing isn’t turning unless Michael goes full alien. He’s sure as fuck not being outed as an extra terrestrial to the general population in a bar called the Fourth Encounter. He’s also not leaving Alex there to drink himself silly.

“Look they 86’ed you here, but if you come with me I can take you to a place where there’s more,” he tempts.

“I’m not going near the Pony, thanks,” Alex says in a clipped tone. He gets up and Michael takes his keys from the bartender, “Guerin—“

“No drinking and driving,” Michael reminds him, “you want a cab or can I drive?”

Alex looks at him for a moment longer and then shakes his head. Michael swears because he remembers that Alex is a computer genius and can probably start his car with his phone. He intercepts and shoves it in his pocket alongside the keys. The sour expression on Alex’s face confirms the theory. Michael would be impressed if he didn’t have to get Alex home safe. Alex gets out into the parking lot and even now he glances around to make sure no-one he recognizes is there before he looks around for something else.

“Come on Alex,” Michael says, “just let me take you home.”

“I don’t want you to take me home,” Alex snaps at him, “I don’t need you to do that.”

Michael tries not to focus on the fact that Alex said he doesn’t need him. He refuses to let his own issues hurt Alex again. Alex can go as low as he wants. He’s drunk and upset and though Michael wants to ask why, he knows it’s not his place.

“Yeah,” he agrees, “fine. But I’ve got your phone and keys, so—“

Alex’s look of disgust should go in a photobook. But Michael knows he’s fucking right. Alex hangs his head as Michael counts in his before Alex walks over to Michael’s truck and gets in. Michael keeps his back to him so he can salute the stars for doing something right for once. Then he gets in, starts his car and pulls onto the road. Michael lets the silence swell up between them because his truck’s radio is currently on the fritz. He used to be able to be around Alex for hours and it was a comfortable silence. That’s not true anymore. When he can’t take the silence and its tension. He looks at Alex.

“So, why not the Pony?” He asks.

“Because you’re dating Maria.”

The sharpness in Alex’s voice is not what Michael expects. He almost swerves the car at the reply. Alex frowns and reaches for the radio dial but nothing happens. For the first time Michael’s not pissed about that. “We’re not dating,” he says, “we’re—“

“Screwing? Having a good time?”

“Jesus, Alex,” Michael isn’t ready for the accusation in his tone. Alex stares at him and Michael tries to focus on the road, “what do you want me to say? Yes. We’re having a good time,” he glances at him, “is that what you want me to say?” He shakes his head, “I like her. I like having a good time. You’ve never had a problem with it before.”

“You are sleeping with my friend!” Alex says, “not some random girl.”

“So what if I am?” Michael challenges back. Alex looks away and Michael makes a split second decision and pulls over, “so what if I am?” He repeats. Alex glares at the road a moment longer and then turns to look at him, “why do you have a problem with it now?”

“I always had a problem with it,” Alex says and Michael feels smug right up until he opens his mouth again, “and you knew that I did,” the smugness goes away, “this isn’t some random hook up. It’s Maria.”

“I like her!” Michael protests, “I”m sorry, but—no. You know what? I’m not sorry. I like her,” he looks at him, “you can’t tell me who to like,” he points out, “you can’t just sit there and be a jealous dick without doing anything.”

“I did something—“

“After ten years!” Michael snaps, “ten years and you think me sleeping with Maria is the be all end all—“

“Michael if you’re using her,” Alex starts and Michael lets out a hollow laugh.

“You’re gonna what?” Alex says nothing, “throw me in a cell? Lock up the big bad alien?”

Alex glares and then shakes his head.

“You being an asshole is the most human thing about you,” he says. That stings more than Michael wants to admit. But if he’s an asshole, he’ll be an asshole, “we don’t lock people up for that.”

“No you that’s an off the books job,” he says, wiggling his fingers.

Alex stares at him and Michael puts on every defiance he can muster to meet his gaze, waiting for the return blow. Alex wants a fight and fuck it, he’ll give him one. Maybe it’ll be good for both of them. They clearly need the release. Or maybe he needs it. Maybe it’s his turn to be selfish in this for once and take what he needs. He feels himself ready in anticipation. Drunk Alex is mean, drunk Alex will fight him. But Drunk Alex is as much of a dick as sober Alex because he just looks ahead.

“Can we go?”

“No,” Michael says, adrenaline coursing through him, “do you wish you could lock me up?” he demands, clinging to the last thing that got a rise out of him. Alex shifts, “you do wish that, don’t you?”

“I wish,” Alex says, finally turning back to him, “that I never came back here after the war.”

The words hang heavy and poisonous in the air.

“Take that back,” Michael says. Alex says nothing, “take that back!”

He doesn’t know if Alex means he wishes he had died from the war or if he means he wishes he hadn’t come back to Roswell. Neither of those are things Michael wants to think about. If Alex never came back—Michael thinks about all the shit that’s happened since he got back. All the things he now knows and all the things he’s shared. Alex is being drunk and dramatic but Michael can’t have the words there. Can’t have that possibility existing.

“No.”

“Then we’re not going,” he says impulsively.

“Fine,” Alex says and gets out of the car.

Michael stares and then follows. Alex is walking remarkably straight for someone with one leg, but Michael doesn’t stop to think about that too hard. He’s far more concerned about the fact that Alex is drunk and walking down the side of the road.

“I thought you weren’t running away,” Michael challenges and Alex hesitates before continuing to walk. But it’s enough for Michael to get in front of him, “come on, Alex. I thought we were past this. Why’d they call me at the bar?”

Alex says nothing.

“Come on, Alex. Why’d they call me?”

“You know why!” Alex says, turning back to him so suddenly they almost crash into each other, “I was at your trailer waiting while you were—“ he stops and takes a breath, “I’m not you,” he restarts, “you not being there to be with her is a big deal for me.”

“For you?” Michael repeats, letting the anger he’s been shoving down forever swell up, “you think it wasn’t a big deal to me every time you left? Every time you walked away? I told myself that if I ever told you what I was, things would be different. But it’s the same! My family is dead. Max is in a coma and the thing that keeps me awake at night is the fact that I can’t look away and it hurts.”

He doesn’t mean to say so much, he regrets the words the moment they leave his lips. Alex looks away and Michael tries not to feel that in his bones. He fails, hopelessly. But the fact that Alex thinks it doesn’t kill him every damn time is something he can’t have any version of Alex believing. Even this drunk, angry version of him.

“I can’t make it stop hurting,” Alex says.

“Neither can I,” Michael shoots back.

“So where does that leave—“ he cuts himself off. Michael wonders if he’s done the impossible and actually made Alex leave for real this time, “seeing you with her hurts.”

“So we’re just hurting each other,” Michael throws his hands up, “like we don’t have enough problems.” He feels dirty as he looks at Alex, Alex whose the third person Michael’s ever wanted to protect. “I can’t keep doing this.”

“There’s nothing here for you to keep doing,” Alex says, a note of something truly heartbreaking in his voice, “that’s what I’m trying to say. Maria’s my friend. Any way you look at this I can’t go there again with you.”

Michael feels like he’s been dunked in ice. Of all the things that he thought could come out of this, Alex telling him that he can’t be with him because Maria is his friend is not one of them. But Alex has that brow furrow that comes in moments of honesty and Michael realizes he’s serious. Now the pain he feels when he looks at him is even worse. Heavier and sharper somehow. It’s tangible in a way it wasn’t before. No words seem to come to him as Alex blinks and looks away.

“Can we be friends?” Michael asks.

“I don’t know,” Alex says.

Another thing that never occurred to him. It has to be because Alex is drunk. It has to be. Maybe he’ll find some kind of luck and Alex won’t remember the conversation in the morning. Maybe this is some horrible future he can prevent if he’s strong enough and smart enough.

“For now we are so let me get you home,” he says, “before any more of it hits you.”

Alex looks at him for a moment and then nods. They don’t speak on the way back. Alex actually starts to doze against the window and Michael winces at every stupid bump in the road. He helps Alex out of the car and up to his front door and when Alex fumbles his keys, Michael hitches him against his hip and opens the door. Inside he gets Alex to bed and crouches down, helping get his shoes off. Alex watches him in the darkness and Michael focuses just on the task at hand.

“Do you want this on or off?” He asks.

“Off, just, put it where I can see it.”

A though occurs to him about Alex stumbling around the bedroom and Michael fights the urge to move all the furniture aside. Alex is capable and he’s just being an idiot, but what else is new. He sets the prosthetic within arms reach and puts Alex’s phone and keys on the nightstand. Alex eases himself back and turns away from Michael.

“I take it back,” he mutters.

Michael hangs his head. It hurts to look at Alex and it hurts to look away. He doesn’t see that changing any time in the near future. He make sure Alex’s shoes are away and his cane is nearby and then he has to put down all his bullshit and leave.

“I love you,” he says to the dark shape.

If Alex will remember in the morning, he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know anything as he stands there except that the longer he does, the more he wants to stay.

So he gives up the easy, does the hard thing and leaves.

Part 2 is here | Part 3 is here

[saadiestuff]

This is Going to Hurt (prompt - Malex)

Here’s my first answer to the prompts I received last week after putting out the call! Thank you all for the lovely prompts - I’m working on them, but work is annoying and busy so it takes some time. Also this turned out longer than I intended for these prompty things!

Prompt #22 “This is going to hurt” - from anon

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, mentions of alien torture, happy ending

“This is going to hurt,” Kyle warns Michael, like he's not already been writhing in intermittent pain the last half hour, though Kyle's only been present for the last five minutes.

“Just hurry up!” Michael groans at him, “I could have had this out--”

“I told you,” Kyle starts repeating what he’d said on the phone when Michael and Liz had called him for help, “If you move the bullet out with your mind and don’t follow the exact same path it went in, you could do more damage; damage I may not be able to fix without a proper O-R and team of doctors!"

Michael can only whimper in protest, his eyes going wide as Kyle nears with sharp, shiny, medical instruments.

“It’s going to hurt,” Kyle says again, “but not nearly as much as that bullet seems to be hurting you when you use your powers, okay?”

“You’re going to be alright Mikey,” Liz says soothingly, rubbing his shoulder, “Try to stay calm and still,” she continues, stating the obvious, but feeling it needs to be said for how sweaty Michael is getting, and the frequency with which he’s quivering under the palm of her hand. She glances nervously at Kyle.

Kyle gets the hint. “Rosa, maybe you could help us out over here for a minute… How’s Isobel doing?”

“Still breathing the way you said she should be, pulse the same - still out cold,” Rosa says from across the bunker.

“Okay, good, come over here, help Liz…” hold him down, “...keep Michael distracted…”

It does not go well.

The second Kyle’s instruments touch Michael, he feels his barely-there grip on his powers begin to slip away, and at the first hint of pain Kyle causes, he loses it. Liz, Rosa, and Kyle end up tossed on the ground.

And that only causes Michael more pain.

It’s blinding, worse than the last hit - he's screaming so loud he can’t hear himself. As that pain triggers his powers again , something shatters across the room. Michael scrambles desperately to get a hold of himself before it snowballs too far - before he’s lost forever in this vicious cycle until put out of his misery.

But he can’t breathe for how much it hurts, pain radiating from the bullet to the tips of his fingers, toes, ears - for the feeling of his world closing in on him, his powers causing such anguish - a deep betrayal. It’s different than all the times they’d made him feel like death and puke. No, this, this is forming new pathways, new connections in his brain that make him feel sick with loss in way he doesn’t have the strength to examine now. Powers equal pain.

“NO!” Michael shouts at the invisible enemy, wracking his whole body with the effort.

“Michael, you need to breathe!” Liz calls out, having gotten up off the floor and taken a step towards him.

“Don’t!” Michael whines to keep her away as he curls in on himself. Under the fog of pain and his tenuous hold on control, he subconsciously contemplates rolling off the table, because much as that would hurt, he really doesn’t want to be splayed out on a fucking table right now, especially with Kyle’s shiny tools aimed at him.

Kyle groans on the ground, having been thrown the hardest. Rosa offers him a hand up.

Kyle shakes his head, “I need a minute,” he says a little hoarsely, “but bring me a phone.”

Liz knows who Kyle is calling. There is only one other person on their side who knows about aliens and who isn’t currently present in the bunker or dead in a pod.

“Are you sure?” Liz asks quietly, turning away from Michael, “He’s still pretty upset at Michael I think…”

“I know. Who do you think he vented to,” cried to, at least twice, “while Michael and Maria were together?”

“But then... is Alex going to make him calm, or worse?” Rosa asks, handing him her phone she'd retrieved.

“They have a connection, Alex was always babbling about it,” Kyle explains. He's only flippant to diminish the weight of what isn't his to tell.

“He’ll calm him,” Liz says knowingly in answer to Rosa’s question, while feeling a sharp pang of loss for Max.

“Manes, pick up your damn phone,” Kyle hisses as the line rings, then, “Alex! Listen, Liz, Isobel, and Michael were doing some investigating of their own and got into some trouble with a recon. Michael got shot with a-- yes he’s-- the bunker-- Michael’s bunker. We need--” Click.

"Did he hang up on you?" Rosa asks.

"He’s coming,” Liz and Kyle say together.

Alex opens the lid of the bunker to Michael’s choked-off yelling. He half falls down the ladder in his rush to get in, close the lid, and get down.

"I gotta! I can't take it! I'm doing it myself!"

"No! Guerin-- Michael, listen to me! You have to let me do it!” Kyle pleads from several feet away, afraid to set Michael off again.

“What the hell is going on?” Alex shouts as he turns into the room, spotting Michael, blood pooling at his side on the table, gripping the edge of it, puke on the ground below.

“Alex?” Michael croaks out questioningly between panting breaths.

Alex is at his side in seconds. He finds Liz smoothly tucking a chair under him as he crouches to Michael’s eye level.

“Hey, hey,” Alex says softly, one hand going to stroke Michael’s hair, the other taking a white-knuckled hand from the table’s edge into its grasp, “I’m here. You’re okay.”

“Alex--” Michael starts.

“Shh,” Alex hums, and dips to kiss Michael’s forehead, “Someone else can fill me in, huh? Just breathe. You’re going to be fine. Right?” he quickly looks over his shoulder to Kyle for reassurance. He's scared. Michael looks really bad, can't seem to stop shaking, and Alex gets the impression Michael is about ready to crawl out of his skin.

“I haven’t been able to get a great look, but if he’ll let me take that bullet out - the way it came in - and stop the blood loss soon, I think he’ll be fine even without a hospital.”

“Good, that’s good,” Alex says, really to himself, but his concern only grows, “Then what are you waiting for?” Surely they hadn’t been waiting for him to arrive. Alex knows Michael can take some pain, and Alex hadn’t been around to see him through most of it. Michael certainly doesn’t need Alex to hold his hand to get a bullet taken out of his side.

“We tried already, just before calling you. He threw us all onto the floor,” Liz explains.

“Okay… well, did you give him some acetone? Help with the control and the pain?” Alex suggests.

“Of course, but it’s not that simple,” Kyle explains, shaking his head, “He’s freaking out, Alex - the bullet is some kind of smart bullet? Like a shock collar for alien powers.”

“What?” Alex says, eyes wide.

“It seems to cause him pain every time he uses his powers. Then the pain - it's intense enough to trigger him to lash out with his powers again - an involuntary survival instinct I guess?”

Alex shudders, swallowing hard. He has to wonder if Michael wants him anywhere near him, even though Michael is clinging to him like the last port in a storm, because no doubt this fancy bullet torturing him is something his father cooked up - his brothers even. Alex feels ill at the thought, but he buries it - the last thing they need is another one of them throwing up. Rosa is looking a little green over the blood as it is.

“He's gotten caught in it three times already. First when he used his powers to move Isobel and get us into the bunker. Then when Kyle tried to get the bullet out,” Liz explains.

"And just before Kyle got here he lost it out of nowhere," Rosa adds.

“Alex," Kyle says, gulping, "I don't know if he has it in him to pull out of the cycle another time… If he gets trapped in it..."

“We should-- We should take him to a pod while we--” Alex’s mind reels for solutions, and finally, frustrated, he snaps, “Why didn’t you take him straight into a pod until we could figure this out?”

“He was fine until-- well, shot and bleeding a little, but fine, until we got here and he went to move Isobel and the airstream,” Liz tells him, “But I don’t know if we can move him now without setting him off.”

“Not an option. We need to do this now. The blood loss is getting too bad and we can only transfuse so much from Isobel. You said she’s a match Liz?”

“If my alien blood typing is right?”

“And what’s wrong with Isobel?” Alex asks, realizing he hasn’t even been brought fully up to speed, “What were you even doing?”

“We were trying to get our hands on some research, hoping it would help Isobel and Michael figure out how heal like Max, so they could bring him back,” Liz looks ashamed, feeling it’s her fault, though in truth she knows Isobel and Michael would have done it with or without her, “And Isobel, she had to mess with a lot of people’s mind to get us out safely when it went wrong. After a lot of vomiting she passed out cold.”

Alex shakes his head, because none of that information helps Michael right now. He turns his attention back to him, stroking over his face, then back into his hair.

"Michael, Michael, look at me, you're going to let Kyle take it out. You're going to take a deep breath and hold it, and you're going to squeeze my hand, and focus on my voice, and not use your powers.”

“I can’t-- I don’t-- have-- control--” Michael sobs out.

“You can. You just have hang on for two minutes while he takes it out, okay?" Alex promises him.

"I might need more--" Kyle starts, but, Alex shoots him a look over his shoulder that shuts him up.

“And it's going to feel so much better when it's out. Then it’s just a regular old flesh wound needing some stitches, right?" Alex soothes.

Michael shakes his head. “Knock me out," he whimpers, “Please.”

"I don’t know if the sedative I have would work. And between the blood loss and your alien biology it could be dangerous without monitoring--"

"Hit me-- over the head,” Michael rasps out.

"No!" Alex and Kyle say in unison.

Michael groans, resigned, and pulls Alex’s hand closer to his chest.

“Valenti, do it,” Alex orders.

“Alex... you need to keep him from--”

“I’ve got it,” Alex assures him, though he’s not so sure himself. Michael is strong, but he must feel so trapped, and there's only so much Alex can do to help him through.

“Should we help?” Liz asks.

“No, I think-- I think give us space,” Alex says.

“Roll back on your stomach Guerin,” Kyle instructs.

Michael moves gingerly - Alex helps him. They arrange themselves so Michael is gripping Alex’s left hand in his, while Alex’s right hand dances from Michael’s shoulder blades, over his neck, then dragging into his hair, over and over, with his face hovering close to Michael’s.

"I can't take more," Michael sniffles out quietly, so only Alex can hear.

"I know, I know," Alex whispers back, "But you've gotta keep holding on for me, alright? You're doing so good."

They succeed, but just barely. In the end, Michael has done more damage to the bunker, he’s screamed enough to wake Isobel, Alex is in tears, and Kyle ends up knocked on his ass again - but with the bullet safely in hand.

After getting through the stitches, they all head to Alex’s cabin for much needed rest, and to monitor Isobel and Michael closely.

“Presumptuous of Kyle to put me in your room,” Michael says from Alex’s bed when Alex appears in the doorway, Michael's blood freshly showered off him.

Alex huffs a nervous laugh, “Yeah. Um, do you want me to stay or…”

“Stay,” Michael stays without hesitation, then adds, “I mean, if you want…”

Alex bites his lip as he steps into the room and turns to close the door. Michael beats him to it.

Tears burn in Michael’s eyes to find that using his powers doesn’t cause him excruciating pain. Though logically he’d known the bullet was gone, he’d been waiting to screw up his courage to test it out. He’d been waiting for Alex to be near, just in case.

Alex gives Michael space to settle into his relief, which is palpable from across the room. Alex makes his way around the bedroom slowly, in silence, as he changes into pajamas and takes off his prosthetic. Only then does he lie down next to Michael.

“I hope these aren’t your favourite PJs,” Michael says, gesturing to the borrowed garments he’s wearing, “I may bleed on them.”

“It’s fine,” Alex says, taking a deep breath and letting it out as he rolls closer, onto his side, “I want to kiss you, but I understand if--”

Michael puts a finger to Alex’s lips to hush him. “You didn’t make those bullets. You didn’t torture my family.”

Alex takes Michael’s hand and moves it away. “Maybe I would have, if my father didn’t hate me. If he’d brought me into his work, told me aliens were dangerous--”

“No--”

“I’m capable of things Michael,” Alex admits, flopping onto his back and staring at the ceiling, “Things that--”

“Alex, stop,” Michael pleads, turning his head to the side to watch Alex, wanting to move off his back, to close the distance between them, real and imagined, but it hurts to shift. The best he can manage is to sling his arm out for his knuckles to brush up and down over Alex’s chest.

“I can’t ever make it right,” Alex says softly, a tear rolling down his cheek as he catches Michael’s hand in his and holds it against his heart.

“Listen to me. You are not your father. And I'm saying that even while I can still feel the ache from that bullet in every inch of my body, knowing that it’s hardly a fraction of what your father probably put my mother through, for years. No, you’re the man who held me, who talked me through something I thought was impossible, who cried because I was in pain. And did all of that even though you’re probably still pissed at me and have every right to be.”

It feels wrong for Michael to be the one comforting him in this moment. Alex wipes his hand over his face, and sniffling, pulls it together, managing to meet Michael with a smile when he rolls over and into him, claiming his lips in a softly desperate kiss. It’s been many long months.

“Is this--” Michael stutters out between kisses.

Alex stops and pulls back an inch.

“Is this just…” Michael gulps, “I-almost-died and you-were-scared sex?”

“Yes... and a lot more...” Alex says tenderly, “But we’re not having sex.”

“Oh,” Michael says, sounding disappointed. Everything hurts, and he wouldn’t mind feeling something else.

“Not that I don’t want to,” Alex clarifies, because he would, in fact, love to get as close to Michael as possible, “But you need to sleep. Plus... if we rip your stitches, I’ll have to call Valenti in here and neither of us will ever hear the end of it.”

“I can handle Valenti,” Michael smirks, and trails his fingers over Alex’s jaw.

Alex grins and strokes Michael’s face in return, then looks away, “Yeah, but I don’t know if I can handle watching you in pain again while he sews you back up.”

“Oh,” Michael says again, “Maybe something less vigorous then…” He leaves the joke hanging there, waiting for Alex to decide what to do with it.

Alex responds by kissing him, slow and deep and gentle, in a way that’s been all too rare for them in the past. He pauses. “You sure?”

Michael nods, “I want...” he kisses Alex mid sentence, “...you to touch me. I want--” he gasps, words and aches forgotten as Alex sees to answering his request.

[el-gilliath]

To Be Near You

This is for my @hannah-writes​, and her prompt of Malex / Mylex : "Since I met you, I’ve felt abandoned without your nearness; your nearness is all I ever dream of, the only thing." (quote by Franz Kafka)

I know I said I wasn't doing a story for you, but I lied. I hope you like it darling .

“I miss you. I always miss you, every day, every hour, every minute. You’re part of me, you’ll always be part of me. Just like you’ve been since back then.”

The look on Michael’s face as he speaks the words is enough to make him want to cry. It rips his heart open in a thousand little pieces, scattering them to the winds of Michael’s powers. It’s painful to be standing in front of him, speaking the little truths he doesn’t want to admit. Michael isn’t his anymore. Maybe he’s never been truly his except for one fleeting moment when he was 17. The following ten years has just been fraught with heartbreak, abandonment and miscommunication, hurt feelings and anger. He’s walked away time and time again, afraid and worried of whatever his father would do if he knew he was with Michael. But the times he’s been back since he first left, all of them has been spent at Michael’s side. Feeling his warmth, rejoicing in having his nearness, his presence around him. Making him not feel so alone.

But he is alone. As always, he’s walked away too many times. Walked away and left the gorgeous being that is Michael Guerin alone to face the world. Walked away and let him think he wasn’t loved. When nothing could be further from the truth. He loves Michael, from the bottom of his broken, three quarters of a man, heart. Loves him enough to color the sky red, to take on his entire family and the entire US Air Force if he has too. Just so he can maybe, hopefully, feel Michael in his arms again in the future. Maybe, hopefully, one day when Michael has had time to heal from the pain he and his family has been the cause of. When he doesn’t feel as scared and worried about what his father would do if he knew he was still standing by Michael’s side. The one place he’s always wanted to stay. Forever.

“Alex-”

“No. I just need you to know that I love you, Michael. I will never look away. Even when I walk away, I never look away.” He walks closer to Michael and presses a soft kiss to his cheek. “I’m going to walk away now. And you won’t see me again for a while. Please, be happy.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to go make sure my father can never hurt you or your family again.” He smiles then, a smile he knows is filled with sadness. Filled with pain, maybe even grief. But he also knows that he needs to go away, needs to leave Michael alone to heal and worry about bringing Max back from the dead. Needs to leave him to be loved by someone who isn’t him. Someone who is brighter, happier. Easier.

“I don’t want you to go.”

“I know. But we both know I need to.” Michael nods, looking down for a second before he lifts his head to meet Alex’s gaze. Dropping all walls, they both stand there, looking at each other with all the love they feel for each other evident in their eyes. All the want, longing and admiration front and center.

“I’ll dream of only one thing,” he murmurs in the small space between them. He knows Michael recognizes what he means, knows the real quote rings as true for Michael as it does for him.

“Can I kiss you?”

He nods and closes his eyes as Michael’s hand cradles his face. The soft lips meeting his is perfection in many ways, a goodbye in the moment, a hello in the future. Right now, it’s exactly what it needs to be. Just two men sharing one last kiss, before they part for future’s unknown.

He breaks the kiss after both too long and too short of a time, opening his eyes to look into Michael’s hazel eyes. He commits them to memory and lifts his hand to run though Michael’s soft curls one more time. Then he steps back, breaks away, and once again walks away.

-----

It’s a long time before he sets foot in Roswell again. Two years and counting. He’s been all over the globe at this point, tracking down Project Shephard leads and cleaning up his father’s mess. His father who is out of a coma, but down on his memory courtesy of Isobel. It’s the easiest agreement he has ever given in his life, when Kyle called him a year ago and asked if he was okay with Isobel manipulating his father’s memory as they brought him out of the coma. He’s had to deal with his brothers, forcing them to realize that they are out from under Jesse Manes’ thumb and are free to do whatever they want. Though they might not have had it as bad as him, they didn’t have it easy. He hopes they can all live better knowing that they’re finally free.

He’s kept regular contact with everyone in Roswell. Helped out from the other side of the globe as they finally brought Max back. Sent all the files and research he found at various Shepard sites back to the alien trio to help them understand themselves, their powers and their family.

He gave them their real names from a site in Germany. Zan, Vilandra and Rath. Twin children of the King and Queen of Antar, and son of the Antarian army’s general.

He gave them drawn pictures of Antar from a base in Finland, drawn from descriptions made by Antarians in capture there.

He gave them the name of their planet in DC, his first stop after Roswell. When he was missing Michael so much, he could hardly breathe.

He told them the planet was destroyed in a war a week after that, in New York.

He’s sent science experiments and theories to Liz, medical research to Kyle, arts and samples of music to Rosa. A cure for Maria and Mimi.

He’s sent spaceship parts and theories to Michael. But the biggest piece, the one he found in the wall of his cabin he still has with him. To remind him of why he’s doing this. To remind him that even if he misses Michael with a burning, they need space.

Still, the minute he drives past the Welcome to Roswell sign two years after he left, he breathes a sigh of relief. He’s home again. He’s near the person he wants to be closest too. And he knows Michael misses him too. Michael is 8 months out of a relationship that lasted for longer than anyone gave them credit for. Anyone but Alex. He knew that if Michael and Maria were going to try, they would do it completely. It’s why he left, so they could do it without regret. Without having him hanging over them.

But now he’s ready to be home. He’s ready to see his friends, so see his family. He’s ready to drink milkshakes and dip his fries in it at the Crashdown, he’s ready to go have a drink or five at The Wild Pony, he’s ready to have the lunches Isobel has promised him for when he came back, he’s ready to hang out with Liz, Rosa, Maria and Kyle like it’s 2005. He’s ready to be a civilian again, 12 years since the last time he was anywhere close to being a civilian.

He’s ready to kiss Michael again. Ready to feel him close.. He’s ready to know if they can just be Alex and Michael, not Captain Manes and Alien Guerin. And as he drives to the junkyard, where he knows Michael is, he smiles to himself. He’s already taken on the world. Now he’s ready to live in it.

Michael’s not alone when he gets to the junkyard, Maria’s with him. Then he notices Isobel, Liz, Max, Kyle and Rosa. The entire gang is there. It makes him nervous in a way he didn’t think he would be, makes him freeze in a way he never expected. The usual worry and feeling of not being good enough rears its ugly head as they all turn when they see his car. Though he doesn’t need to worry, if the smile that breaks out on Liz’s face is anything to go by. He hears her squeal even before he stops the car and kills the engine, and as he opens the door she has already run up to the car and is waiting not so patiently.

“Oh my god, Alex,” she says in a voice pitched so high it almost hurts his ears. But he still opens his arms and tucks his face in her neck as she hugs him. She’s sniffling in his ear, so he just hugs her closer. More arms surrounds them as Liz holds on, Rosa, Kyle and Isobel joining in. He hears Max laughing a joyous laugh in the background and Michael’s murmuring which makes Max laugh even more. He’s fairly sure he knows what Michael is saying. They’ve both been dreaming of nearness.

That means only Maria is missing. He lifts his gaze and sees her standing just next to them. She seems unsure of her welcome, and if there is one thing Maria should never have to be, it’s unsure of her welcome. He smiles, stretching his hand towards her. The smile that lights up her face assures him he picked correctly. She looks happier in a way she has in a long time, more safe and secure in her position amongst the group. She should never have been an outsider to the secret, and he’s glad she isn’t any more.

“I missed you,” she whispers in his ear as he she slots herself amongst the huggers. He squeezes her back, not angry or betrayed or anything any more. Just full of love for his friends.

“Alright! If everyone can unhand the Alex and get the fuck out of my junkyard, I would appreciate it.”

He can’t help but grin at the indignation in Michael’s voice. Maria is shaking in silent laughter, as is Kyle at his back.

“Jesus, Michael. Try to be any more impatient,” Isobel says snidely as she peels herself gracefully away from the hug. Rosa, Kyle and Maria follow until only Liz is still holding on to him.

“Don’t worry, I’m here to stay this time,” he whispers in her ear. Which must be the correct thing to say as she moves away from him right after, her eyes filled with happy tears.

“You better,” she replies. A part of him wants to keep them all there, close after two years of hearing their voices and grainy pictures through facetime when time zones lined up. There will be time to reconnect with everyone the way he wants later, the way he has been hoping to for a long time. But as he turns to look at Michael, he knows all of that will have to wait. Because looking at Michael, jeans, dirty t-shirt, boots and black cowboy hat on his head takes his breath away. He knows that he wants Michael more than he needs to reconnect with everyone right now, texts, phone calls and grainy images is never enough when it comes to Michael.

The distance between them all of a sudden becomes too much, he needs his nearness. He yearns to hold him in his arms, to smell the scent of oil, sweat and sunshine that is so typically Michael. And Michael is looking back at him, his gaze filled with the same longing to be near Alex knows is showing in his own eyes.

He’s aware of everyone else leaving in his peripheral vision, he’s aware of the catcalls and laughter in his ears as they do. But he only has eyes for Michael now. The dream of him is so close, he can’t wait any more. And like he’s done a million times before, before he has inevitably walked away, he walks closer to Michael who welcomes him with open arms. He lifts his hands to run them through Michael’s curls, lovingly tugging them as Michael wraps his arms around him and holds him close. They both know that this time he isn’t walking away, he’s here to stay.

He can’t help but smile as he snuggles into Michael’s arms, his nose deep in the crook of his neck so he can smell him. But he smiles even wider when he hears the words Michael whispers in his ear.

“You don’t need to dream of the only thing anymore. I’m right here.”

[pastelwitchling]

Mamma mia. Here I go again.

Okay. Throughout most of the episode, and for hours afterwards, all I did was feel numb and cry, so I won’t pretend this was a pleasing episode on all accounts. It’s morning now, and I feel more clear-headed, so let’s begin, shall we?

First of all, as I always do, I want to start with Alex. He’s my soul, my heart, my magic, my everything, and seeing him is always, always worth it. It’s been established that Alex is a Captain with his own team that obey his orders (a piece of my heart was branded by Alex Manes that day, and I am proud of that).

Now we get to the painful parts, the parts that had me muttering to the screen and myself the entire episode. I’ve gotten question after question of some of you guys asking me if Alex is acknowledged, if Alex is treated well, if Alex is spoken to, and this, unfortunately, was the source of my miserable mumblings because the cruel answer is no. The serious lack of anyone mentioning or even acknowledging Alex downright baffled me. After Alex lets them into the facility, that’s pretty much the end of anyone asking him any questions, or even trying to pretend they were worried about him.

No concerns about; What if you get caught? What if they find out you let us in here? What if you get in trouble? Maybe we shouldn’t be here, if it might get you found out.

The closest we came to it was Michael asking Alex what he tells his team, and Alex saying his team doesn’t ask questions, and I -- honest to the gods -- can’t tell if it’s concern for Alex or concern for himself or just sheer, pointless curiosity. I like to think it’s concern for Alex, I definitely feel like there’s a constant concern for Alex, a constant love for him, that Michael won’t confess to. Alex is always, always at the forefront of his mind.

That being said, and as much as I love subtlety, I need once -- just once -- for someone to defend Alex, to say a single kind word about him, but that has never, ever happened. In season one, we had Kyle say a few very nice things to Alex, we saw Kyle be there for him, but... for the love of the gods, what about Michael?

Michael never defended Alex to a single person, but he’ll start a fistfight over a flyer? Knows what it’s like to lose your mom? Everyone’s lost their mom on this show! Let me ask, did Michael ever seem to even slightly question where Alex’s mom was, what she was doing? Did he ever show he cared?

And this part -- this part especially -- was what seriously hurt me; Liz asks Michael why he just can’t admit he cares about Maria, and I honestly expected her to mention Alex just once, but no one did. I honestly started at the screen, completely bewildered and shocked, my heart filled with disbelief as I said out loud, “Liz, Alex is your friend, too!”

They’re carrying on with this storyline as if Alex doesn’t exist, and it makes even Liz seem like not a good friend because she knows that this is deeper than just Michael and Maria, that her other best friend is involved (her best friend who went to a fucking morgue to get access to a corpse just because he trusts her that much, by the way). She should have the common sense not to get involved!

No one is looking out for Alex, no one is concerned for him, no one mentions him. It’s honestly as if he’s only there when they need him for something, and beyond that he just doesn’t matter in their minds. It breaks me.

Now, as for the big “I like Maria, okay?” (ew, I skipped those revolting m*luca scenes, I tried powering through, I did, but I just couldn’t take it anymore, it’s so cringey and weird and gross), here’s where there may be a conflict of opinion; I was glad for it. It hurt like hell, and that look on Alex’s face will forever haunt me. When he said, “If I could choose to be with Maria DeLuca, I would, too,” it felt to me like Alex was not completely shocked by the confession, but resigned, because I think a part of him knew the truth, and was just now confronted with it, and he was handling it as a soldier and leader, as he handles everything. But it also felt to me like Alex was just miserable at the fact that he just doesn’t find women attractive, that it’s so much harder for him to feel an attraction, to have hope of being in love in this town. But he stays because everyone always needs him, everyone’s a priority, and you just know Mimi’s going to be another priority that he’ll want to fix.

But the I like blah blah blah scene was such a relief to me (the part of me that wasn’t dying for my Alex) for two reasons; one, they didn’t drag it out. Two, Alex is not led on. He’s not being given any fake reassurances that Michael only has eyes for him, he knows the truth (by the Angel), so hopefully he can just move forward from here. I try not to think about that scene -- I skipped the m*luca scenes because they just made me so ill, so there’s not much I can say on those either other than the fact that Alex is never acknowledged and Maria has come off worse and worse this season. Which is also crazy to me because all of those scenes with Maria and Isobel; they prove that the writers do know what romantic chemistry looks like (and those two had it), so why they’re putting two people with zero romantic chemistry together is mind-boggling to me.

I know it’s only the second episode, and I will never, ever consider not watching the show because I love it, it’s been my favorite since the Shadowhunters finale aired, and seeing Alex will always make it worth it all (did you see how cool and beautiful he was with his dad? How magical he was? The chemistry he has with Flint and his father are off the charts phenomenal, I can’t get enough of them). And I ship malex, and I believe they’re endgame, but honestly? The only thing that makes all of this slightly bearable is the idea of Alex’s love interest. I understand Michael is hurting, but it’s like Alex doesn’t exist outside of when they need him for something. Me just saying, “He’s so clearly thinking of Alex,” can only satisfy me for so long, and we’ve kind of reached that breaking point. In the entire first season, Michael never sought Alex out once, and yet he’s moved the airstream next to the Wild Pony? What’s Alex going to think when he sees that? How’s he going to feel? Oh wait, that might just get glossed over in a tweet or a two second scene or not even mentioned or shown at all.

I swear to the gods, if Carina explains away the spaceship piece in a tweet, I will lose all respect for her as a storyteller. I still respect her storytelling, I’m still having faith, but if that spaceship piece scene is fucked up, so help me, I will never respect her storytelling again, even when Malex get back together for good because she took a pivotal moment, a moment that means so much because of the intention behind it, and explained it away in a time jump or tweet as if it means nothing, and as a storyteller myself who values those kinds of moments, I can’t see myself ever forgetting that. Carina’s so fond of explaining away storylines we’ve been waiting for in tweets, why not explain away m*luca? Why not let that have happened in the two week span, off camera? Since all the good moments are off camera or barely glanced at, why not take away the one no one wants? I mean, by the Angel, it’s gotten to the point where, when Steph showed up (who is so obviously an alien, by the way, I hope they weren’t planning to shock us with that), I actually got upset and said, “Oh no, please don’t take away Kyle, he’s all Alex has!”

I love this show, I love Michael, Alex will always be worth it, but... I also really hope Forest (or whoever the love interest is) is everything I want him to be. I hope he’s so blatantly and bluntly and clearly in love with Alex, I hope he flirts with him in the open, and calls him attractive and hot and brilliant, and openly shows he loves him, and I hope Michael gets so jealous it nearly kills him. I want Alex to get everything he deserves, I want him to be happy and have his own love interest, because believe me, that love interest is one of the very few things keeping me as gracious about this storyline as I am being now.

[captainsassmanes]

Okay, prompts? Malex + hug. 💗

I hope angst is okay...

Alex was so uncomfortable he wanted to peel out of his own skin and scream into the abyss. The last few days had been fucking unbearable. They’d been excited when they’d found some hidden files, Alex finally cracking the code on a hard drive he’d been obsessing over for months. But the horrific data they found from Project Shepard, more specifically from the experimentation, had left Alex, Kyle and Michael needing space to process and be sick in peace. It didn’t take long for Michael to find a different way to cope, unleashing his uncontrollable need to express his fury and disgust on Alex.

It had started with little shit, things that stung but were innocuous. Michael held Maria’s hand just a bit more. Whispered things in her ear that made her laugh so freely. He danced with her, a little too close to his table, and kissed her so gently Alex watched Maria’s feet literally get swept away.

Then he got the texts. A few filthy one liners, “meant for Maria” but somehow making their way to Alex’s phone instead. 

Michael lost his subtlety after that, blatantly seeking Alex out to talk about Maria. Their dates, their laughs, waking up together, how perfectly they fit in every way. Then he’d transition to the Manes men, go through them one by one and make sure Alex would never forget how they destroyed Michael’s family. Recite from memory the descriptions from the files of alien life forms, being broken down and analyzed for nothing more than another tally mark, to see if alien number eight reacted the same way alien number seven had.

Alex had always sat stoic; silent while Michael reached into his chest and twisted his heart in his hands, his whiskey-tinged breath snaking up Alex’s nostrils.

Tonight had been the breaking point.

After a therapy session where Alex felt he’d been pushed too hard, a PT appointment where he did nothing but cramp for forty five minutes and a fruitless trip to the pharmacy where he was told by the child behind the counter that his Paxil was no longer covered by his insurance, Alex wanted the world to crumble and take him with it.

He’d driven aimlessly for some time, hand mindlessly massaging his knee and biting his lip to pieces. He ended up at the Pony after a while, craving his friends company and desperate not to feel alone tonight. He was relieved to find Liz at the bar, rum and coke in her hand, chatting animatedly with Maria behind the bar.

With a small smile, he pulled up a stool and was greeted with a free beer and two bright grins. They shot the shit and Alex managed to let a little of the tension he was carrying go. But too quickly, the place filled. Maria had to tend to her customers and Liz found it a good time to get back to the lab.

Alex nodded his understanding and sipped on his beer, discomfort clawing at his gut. He was carefully shredding the Budweiser label when a gruff, “I hoped I’d see you today, Manes,” was barked in his ear.

Part of Alex was damn near joyful to have Michael so close. Even after everything, he’d give it all just to be in Michael’s orbit again. But there was something about the glint in his eye, the slant of his mouth, the mischief in his voice, that had Alex thinking he should be running for the door.

With a sigh, Alex took the bait. “Well, here I am, Guerin.”

Michael grabbed Alex’s beer and downed what remained, smacking his lips dramatically when he was done. He looked around, conspiratorially surveying his surroundings before digging into his pocket.

When he opened his hand, Alex’s world washed away. The noise of the bar went silent. All he could hear was his own blood rushing painfully through his body. The small, black box had quickly become blurry as his eyes had instantly filled with tears. His mouth hung open, jaw locked in speechlessness.

“It’s her style, right Manes?”

With some effort, Alex closed his mouth and gulped. He swallowed a few times, trying to moisten his mouth while pushing down the bile.

Alex blinked as the tears fell down his cheeks but his vision cleared. It was the perfect ring for Maria. A thin, silver band with a large, turquoise stone set in the center. Pictures of Maria in a flowing white dress, feet bare in the grass or maybe in the sand, flew rapid fire in front of his eyes.

He refused to allow his brain to picture Michael.

Feeling himself losing the battle against his own stomach, Alex stood abruptly and grabbed his coat. He mumbled out, “it’s perfect. Congratulations,” before stumbling out of the bar to his Jeep.

He swore as he dropped his keys, having no choice but to let the vomit out when he bent over to pick them up. He wiped his mouth, sent up a silent prayer that no one had seen him, and sped off back to his safe haven.

The cabin was illuminated by the moon, so bright it could be mistaken for the lights of a football field. He looked at his home and realized that this was all he’d ever have. He’d have his cabin in the middle of nowhere, with his dog for a few years and his dirty, worthless name.

He made it to the top step before the weight of the day knocked him down and he gave in. With his head in his hands, fingers clawing at his hair, he released it all. The hatred of his father and the guilt he carried every second of the day for all he’d done. The memory of Michael’s mother, finally seeing her son again just to know it was for a fleeting moment and she’d definitively lose it all in one, final blast. Michael choosing his best friend, loving Maria and deciding it was enough, more than enough, not just to be with her, but to marry her, to make a family with her.

In those long moments on the steps of his cabin, Alex let himself feel, sob and fucking ache.

He jumped when he felt hands on his thigh and the back of his neck, terrified that he hadn’t heard the roar of the truck and the rush of feet.

Alex looked up, the world unclear through the pounding of his head and the tears in his eyes, but squatting in front of him was definitely Michael. The sobs continued as he gulped for air, feeling more and more panicked that he might actually pass out.

He realized his face was buried in the denim of Michael’s coat and two, strong hands were holding him together. Alex let all pretense go and fell into the embrace, hands moving up Michael’s back and pulling on the collar of his coat. Michael rocked them back and forth and, eventually, Alex could make out his words over his own cries.

“I’m so sorry, Alex. I’m sorry.” Alex could hear the break in Michael’s voice. “I don’t know what I’m doing-why I did that. I’m sor-sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so fucked up. I don’t want-wanna hurt you anymore. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t let go,” Alex whispered. “Please.”

He heard Michael take a deep, shaking breath and felt his arms get impossibly tighter around him.

“God, Alex. I’ll hold you forever if you let me.”

[frankchurchillsaysrelax]

Malex. Isobel finally finding out about Malex. Pretty please?

So a hundred years later I’m finally getting this answered. I had something completely different written but then this came to me and then I needed some time after the finale before I could finish it. Anyway, this takes place between 1x11 and 1x12.

took ‘em down but they’re still in their frames

“Distract me.”

Isobel moves so she is laying with her head in his lap, staring up at him with wide, pleading eyes. Noah is in the pod so he knows they are safe, but Michael has never seen her look more fragile, like the wrong word or touch might break her forever.

“I’m in love with Alex Manes.” Aside from alien conspiracies it’s the only thing that’s really been on his mind these days.

Isobel sits up so quickly she nearly smacks her head against his. Her scrutiny makes him squirm, knowing she can feel an echo of his apprehension. He’s never felt comfortable inside Max’s house, the four walls as welcoming as his brother, and now he feels like he’s walked into an interrogation. Thankfully, Max and Liz are still out getting food. Better to be under only one microscope than three.

Finding no sign of a lie in his features, Isobel reaches for his good hand, holding tight. “Since when?”

Michael runs his left hand across his face. He’s tired, having stayed up all night watching over Isobel and unable to sleep. This probably wasn’t the best time to be bearing his soul.

“Senior year.” He shrugs helplessly, as if to say here I am, the pathetic man still pining for a boy he barely knew a decade ago.

He remembers every small interaction he ever had with Alex since he had moved back to Roswell at eleven years old. Every joke that earned a reaction from the kid who wore his identity loud like armor. Every eye roll or sarcastic comment from the rebel who never knew how to break a rule. A handful of small moments leading up to a truck, a guitar, and a perfect afternoon in a toolshed that rapidly dissolved into a war zone.

“Eleven years?” Isobel’s mouth has fallen open, soft and shaking, a wounded look in her eyes. It’s exactly the opposite reaction he’d been seeking. “And you never told me?”

“We weren’t together for most of that time. Not any of it really. But yeah, that’s when it started.” He smiles, trying to brush the topic aside and searching his brain for a lighter place to direct them.

Isobel’s grip on his hand borders on painful. “Explain.”

He tells her everything. What better distraction than ten years worth of backstory on Roswell’s second most fucked up relationship.

He tells her about the day he stole Alex’s guitar from the music room, about the simple offer of kindness that changed his life. He tells her about the tool shed, the Emporium, and Jesse Manes wielding a hammer, coming to shatter all of his hopes and dreams.

Isobel doesn’t interrupt him, her face reflecting all the horror and despair she is unable to put into words. He pushes on, highlighting all of Alex’s visits over the years; too rare and with too much time in between to maintain the connection they’d managed to reignite, passion and nostalgia only carrying them so far and forcing them to start over each time.

“But he’s home now.” Isobel can’t stop herself. “You guys have a real chance.” Her voice is so full of hope it causes his left hand to flex with a dull throb of pain.

“We tried again after the reunion.” He sniffs, forcing his eyes to look away from the eager look shining in hers. “He called it off after a couple days. I didn’t see him for a few months and when I did he made it clear he wasn’t gonna change his mind.”

He leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees. Everything else was too recent, too messy and complicated which is hilarious when you consider their history.

“That night I hooked up with Maria Deluca in Texas.” He ignores Isobel’s gasp, too dramatic and hungry for gossip. “Next morning Alex shows up at the junkyard. He knows about Maria and doesn’t care. He knows we’re aliens and doesn’t care. He wants to get to know me and start over as friends.” He shakes his head, unwilling to tell her any more about that conversation or the half dozen text conversations they’ve had since that day.

Quiet replaces his voice in filling the room making his skin prickle in discomfort when he remembers where they are. He’s surprised Max and Liz haven’t returned but assumes they pulled off on the side of the road for a quickie like the desperate teenage lovers they never got a chance to be.

Isobel reaches to take his hand again, drawing his attention back to her. “He obviously still wants you Michael, so what’s stopping you? If you have a chance at love, real love,” for one horrifying second he thinks she’s about to burst into tears and he realizes he’s probably done a shit job of distracting her from Noah. “You shouldn’t waste it.”

“I know he wants me, Is.” That’s never been an issue. Alex wouldn’t come back to him time and time again if he didn’t. “I also know he doesn’t want to want me.” And like a plaintive walking embodiment of the Cheap Trick classic he’s desperate for that to not be the case. It is though and he just needs to accept it. Alex’s attempts at friendship aren’t making that any easier.

“I don’t think that’s true. In fact, I refuse to believe it.” Michael can’t help but smile. If the three of them ever actually wanted to take over this planet, he’s positive Isobel could with nothing but her determination and stubborn will alone.

If Max and Michael ever had a telepathic connection it is nearly non existent these days but he still tries to reach out and tell his brother to get his ass home before Isobel orchestrates a flash mob.

“Believe what you want. It’s over.” His throat tightens around the admission making it hard to swallow. It doesn’t matter if it’s with a bang or a whimper, the world still ends.

[space-malex]

For the character asks: Alex Manes and Maria Deluca please. :)

NIIICE okay let us start with Alex then.

How I feel about this character: There’s a reason my tag for him is “my actual son”. Alex is my baby who I love more than anyone else. It’s funny bc malex as a ship is closer than most in terms of character favorites. I usually have a HEAVY favorite, and with them, it’s less so. But let’s be real here. Alex is my ride or die always and forever, with or without Michael (preferably with tho I mean lbr). Alex has been through so much and he is still such a good person. Being raised by an abusive bigot of a father, abandoned by a mother, and surrounded by asshole brothers...I really can’t imagine that life. But he’s lit from the inside and no amount of outside influence will snuff him out. He’s smart, brave, a sassy little monster and so, so, inherently good. It makes my chest physically tight to think about. He deserves the entire world, and I believe he could get it for himself.

Also he’s totally a Slytherin don’t @ me.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Malex. Just malex. I’m on the ride that is this show and I know we are getting other relationships for both of our boys, but they’re the epitome of true love. If they don’t make it work, it’s yet another example of gay tragedy. And I say that even if they ended up “happy” with other people. Because 99% of malex’s issues and struggle is rooted in the homophobic abuse they’ve both endured and the fear, trauma, and miscommunication that has resulted from that. To say they’d somehow be “better off” with someone else really writes off the struggles that so many queer folks go through and says that we can’t really have happy endings with our true loves bc it’s “too hard”. Fuck that. Oh I went off a little, sorry.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Kylex, obviously. If it wasn’t for malex I would ship that romantically bc I love friends to lovers but as it is, they’re my brotp for life. Also Alex and Maria. I love the mostly quiet support they have for each other and even though right now Maria isn’t making the best choices as a friend, I do think she will come around and we will get our baby besties back! Also in my wildest dreams: Alex and Isobel. I have a mighty need.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I think he shoulders more responsibility for the bad stuff that has happened to the pod squad (and Michael specifically) than he should. That’s that on that.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: He and Michael work their shit out obviously. Beyond that- I want more outsmarting his stupid ass family and being the cleverest most cunning best boy ever. Oh also- A FRIENDSHIP WITH ISOBEL. I adored Alex/Is in the OG, and obviously a romance isn’t in the cards for them due to Alex’s sexuality, but I still want that supportive friendship so damn much. Also the endless BDE and sassing, can you imagine!!

Now on to Maria!

How I feel about this character: I think Maria is a really good person who loves fiercely and is very loyal to the people in her life. She’s cool, funny, and supportive. Maria, much like Alex to me, are the HEART of any group they’re in. I do feel like she got the short stick in terms of writing in season one, and I hope for better in s2.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Isobel, Rosa, and possibly Kyle. But here’s the thing- I LOVE her dynamic with Liz and I would fucking ride or die that shit if there was a chance it would ever actually happen. But let’s be real-it never will. So I don’t really waste my time actively shipping something that I know could never happen when there’s good competing ships for it. That’s kind of the same thing for Max and Maria. I actually really thought they were cute and enjoyed their interactions, but there’s nobody for Max but Liz so I could never be invested with him and Maria. I find the idea of Maria and Isobel to be pretty fucking hot, enemies to friends to lovers plus it’s sort of flips the switch on the original ships and since we have Michael and Alex instead of Michael and Maria or Alex and Is, we can get the equivalent WLW ship in Maria and Isobel. Their chemistry is so good, too. I just need more interaction. Kyle is more like someone that could have potential but I’d need more interaction. And with Rosa... I admit the age difference could pose an issue, but I have thought forever that Maria was in love with Rosa when they were in high school. I still think this.  for me they would be like a heart ship that would end up very similar to echo and malex. 

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Miluca. I’m still so goddam bitter that they threw away this potentially amazing brotp to add unnecessary (and forced feeling) sex/romance to yet another m/f dynamic. M&M could’ve been the besties of our dreams and now I worry we will never get it bc it’s gotten all complicated. I still hope that once the relationship has inevitably ended, we can get platonic candy back. Also I mentioned it with Alex, but Maria and Alex. I really love them and want more of them. And also marliz obviously.

My unpopular opinion about this character: Mentioned this earlier too but Maria was 100% in love with Rosa when they were teens. Evidence: 1) deeper relationship than anyone knew, including her bestie Liz since Liz did not know about Maria and Rosa sneaking on the crashdown roof regularly. 2) hated Isobel for a decade bc Rosa was avoiding her one single time. “Because Rosa hated her” I guess but no real evidence of that for Maria personally other than one memory. Long time to hold a grudge. 3) the alien evidence in 11- one big point of evidence is how the fourth alien felt about Rosa, and that’s never argued against by Liz or anyone else as a reason that it couldn’t be Maria. It’s like yeah okay the alien was in love with Rosa but it can’t be Maria bc it’s MARIA and she’s trustworthy!

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: had happened- no stupid love triangle/m&m thing. Would happen- maribel or marosa but barring that I just want a cool story and for Maria to be her own character instead of just support to others.

[bowsie22]

Malex Collection 10

Prompt from SlytherinQueen021 on AO3: Michael breaks up with Alex but finds outs he's pregnant.

Alex wasn’t surprised when Michael broke up with him. He knew that the other man needed peace, a fresh start, something uncomplicated. And he couldn’t get that with Alex. At least not yet. It hurt that he went to Maria, but he understood. Alex’s plan had been to avoid the couple unless absolutely necessary. And it worked. For a few months.

Until his routine check-up at the base.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Pregnant!?”

“Yup. Three months.”

“So, it’s Guerin’s?”

“Haven’t been with anyone else since getting back to Roswell, go yeah.”

“Shit. You’re having a half alien baby.”

“Which is why I need you to be my doctor.”

“Woah Alex, I’m not an OBGYN, I know nothing about natal care.”

“But you know about alien physiology. I can’t go to a normal hospital with this Kyle. The doctor at the base already wants to send me for tests because she thinks there’s something wrong. I held her off by saying I’ll arrange them, but you’re the only person who can help me with this.”

“And I will help. But shouldn’t we tell Michael? I don’t know much about their physiology. And nothing about their pregnancies.”

“No. You are the only person who can know. Michael deserves a fresh start away from us and everything that comes with it. This would only complicate things further.”

“And when, if we assume this will work like a normal pregnancy, you start showing? What then?”

“I’ve applied for a transfer to Arlington. The one in Texas It’s gone through, I’m moving in one month.”

Kyle fell onto the couch, shocked.

“Well shit. I assumed that once you were back in Roswell, you were back.”

“Yeah, so did I. So, can I count on you?”

“Of course you can. Whatever you need, I’ll be there.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

True to his word, Kyle was there to help Alex move into his new apartment and get it ready for a baby. There were more arguments than expected, Kyle refusing help from Alex as his pregnancy progressed, while Alex, in his stubbornness, refusing to take it easy. And then it happened.

On the 21st of February at 01:53 am, James Anthony Guerin was born.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

James was….difficult. There were usual baby things, constant diaper changes, feedings, waking Alex up at all hours. Alex was glad for Kyle and his friends from the base. Without them he wasn’t sure he would have survived James’ first month.

And then there was the other thing.  James got more than his eyes from Michael. Alec would never forget the terror he felt when he saw James levitate his teddy bear into his arms in the play pen. He had no idea how to deal with this. He never expected to be dealing with a half alien baby. Certainly not one with telekinetic powers. But no matter what Kyle said, Alex was determined to deal with this alone. Michael had made it pretty clear that he didn’t want Alex in his life anymore. So, Alex was going to give him that, exactly what he wanted. A life without Alex in it. Unfortunately, after James was born, that was no longer possible.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a normal day for Kyle. He had three days off and decided to go visit Alex in Arlington. He had a key to the house, so he knew that he was welcome. Dropping his bag by the door, Kyle walked through the living room, looking for his friend.

“Alex? You ok? You here?”

He heard James babbling in the kitchen. Knowing that Alex would never let James out of his sight, he walked there, hoping to find his friend. And there he was, unconscious on the floor, glass shattered on the floor around him.

“Shit, Alex!”

Kyle fell to floor beside his friend, searching for a pulse. He relaxed a bit when he found it but was still concerned. There was a cut on Alex’s head, presumably from the glass. Kyle knew the dangers of head wounds and he needed to wake Alex up. God only knows how long he’d been unconscious. He lifted Alex into his arms, carrying him to the bedroom. Alex had smelling salts in his bathroom cabinet, Kyle never really understood why but he was thankful for it now. He rooted through the cabinet, looking for the antiseptic and bandages. It didn’t look like the cut needed stitches, so bandages should be ok. As he was bandaging Alex’s head, the other man slowly woke up.

“Kyle. Wha’…what are you doin’ here?”

“I said I’d be here by 2. And here I am. I’m gonna go through some quick tests, make sure there’s no concussion ok? And then I’ll check on James.”

“I was feeding him.”

“Don’t worry. Kids a year old, I know how to look after my godson at this stage.”

He ran through the tests, glad to see that no signs of concussion. He left Alex to shower and change, since he was covered in blood, going to finish feeding James. As the boy played with his spoon, Kyle cleaned the blood and glass off the floor, Alex walking into the kitchen as he threw it into the bin.

“Alex, what the hell happened? Did James do this?”

“Yeah. You know he can’t control his powers. He got excited when I was feeding him and the glass went for my head. Then I woke up to your face.”

“Lucky you huh?”

The two men laughed, both relieved that Alex wasn’t seriously hurt. Kyle cleared his throat, becoming serious.

“Look, I know you don’t want to hear it, but I think you need to tell Michael. It’s been nearly 2 years since you’ve been in Roswell. People miss you. And you miss them, right?”

Alex nodded, knowing his friend was right.

“And you need Michael’s help. He’s the only person who can help James with his powers, you know this. Come back with me Alex, please.”

“You’re right. And I hate that you’re right, but ok. I’ll come back to Roswell.”

“Great! Cabin is all set up for you and James. I knew you couldn’t stay away forever.”

“Goddamn it Kyle.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stopping the car outside Sanders Auto, Alex took a deep breath. He knew this wasn’t going to be easy. Steeling himself, he took James out of his car seat and walked to the door of the camper van. He knocked on the door and took a step back, breath catching in his throat when Michael swung the door open. The two stared at each other, taking in any and all changes that happened over the past 2 years. God, but Michael was still the most beautiful person that Alex had ever seen.

“Alex.”

“Hey Michael.”

James decided to butt in, pulling at his father’s ear.

“You have a kid.”

“That’s why I came here.”

“Because of the kid?”

With a loud cry from James, one of the chairs around the fire pit flew into air, landing a few feet from where it started. Michael stared at the baby, confusion in his eyes.

“What the fuck?”

“Yeah, this is why we need to talk.”

“So, we have a child?”

“Yeah.”

“And you decided not to tell me?”

Alex looked away from his son playing with Michael’s hat into Michael’s heartbroken eyes. He sighed, reaching out to take the other’s hand. The two were sitting outside, James on a blanket in front of them.

“I’m sorry about that. But neither of us were in a good place at the time, mentally, emotionally. We were a mess.”

“Yeah, we really were.”

“But I need help. I can’t help James with his powers, only you can. And I know it’s a lot to ask, considering I haven’t even messaged you over the past 2 years but-“

“Alex, take a breath, it’s ok. I wasn’t the most understanding before you left. I said some horrible things to you. I think we needed the time away from each other to heal. I’ve been to therapy, Max came back, Maria and I broke up, but we’re still good friends. I’m in a good place now.”

“That’s great Michael. Therapy was good for me too. And Kyle helped.”

Alex laughed at the flash of jealousy he saw in Michael’s eyes.

“He’s James’ godfather Michael, he’s my best friend. That’s all.”

“Good. So, you need help with James’ powers?”

“He needs to learn how to control them. I know he’s young, but he’s already knocked me out with a glass so, I could do with some support.”

Michael moved from his chair to sit on the blanket beside his son.

“Alex, you don’t have to ask. I’ve loved you since I was seventeen. The idea of a child, a family with you? That’s amazing. That’s all I ever wanted.”

Alex sighed, now able to deny the joy that rushed through him.

“Michael, I want that too. But maybe we move slow? Make sure we don’t repeat the same mistakes again?”

“Yeah, we can do slow.”

The smiled stupidly at each other, more than happy to stare into each other’s eyes. At least until Jamie got bored and slapped his hands onto the ground, which began to shake, sending Alex and Michael to the floor. The two stared at the baby who laughed, u aware of what he had just done. it was Michael who broke the silence.

“Oh shit.”